#incorrect catcf quotes

[alicewhimzy]

Veruca; Actually I have a black belt.

Violet; In what, karate?

Veruca; No, from Gucci.

[stardewey]

Ms. Teavee: What is your biggest weakness?

Willy Wonka : I can be uncooperative.

Ms. Teavee : Okay, can you give me an example?

Willy Wonka: No.

————

Mr. Salt Mr. Wonka was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

Willy Wonka: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.

Mr. Salt: Mr. Wonka, you ate a chair.

————

Mr. Salt: Mr. Beauregarde, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?

Mr. Beauregarde: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later

Mr. Salt: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Ms. Teavee.

————

Charlie Bucket: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

Mike Teavee: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

————

Charlie Bucket, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Ms. Bucket: You did WHAT–

Willy Wonka: William Snakepeare

[semi-sweetandnuts]

Catcf x text posts

[jaydencoolguy]

Has anyone done this yet?

[incorrect-catcf-quotes]

Mike: In here is every clock radio I’ve ever owned. Calculators, VHS tapes. Yeah. Oh. Sporting equipment.

Violet: You have sporting equipment?

Mike: Well, oh, it’s just a, it’s a, a golf ball that my cousin threw at my head. You can still feel the dent. It’s right next to the hockey puck dent.

Violet: Okay, why do you have a bin of pine cones?

Mike: I used to collect them as a child. The spiral of scales open in the Fibonacci sequence. A fact that, when you tell your cousin, gets a golf ball thrown at your head.

Violet: So, why do you feel you need to save these things?

Mike: I’d like to say it’s nostalgia, but every time I think of throwing anything away, my ears start to ring, and I get butterflies in my stomach. And then it feels like the butterflies get eaten by rats, and then the, the rats get eaten by…

Violet: Okay. I get it. I get it.

Mike: It ends with dinosaurs. I’m sorry if you think less of me.

Violet: I don’t.

Mike: Really? ‘Cause every time I come in here, I think less of me.

Violet: Why?

Mike: Because I’m a fraud. No. I purport to be a boy of the mind. I’ve been such a, a vocal champion of the singularity, but how can I leave my body behind and become one with the internet when I’ve never even thrown a toothbrush away?

Violet: It’s okay, Mike. You know, I’ve saved a lot of weird things, too.

Mike: Like what?

Violet: Well, um, did you know I still have the wrapper from the first gum I ever chewed? It's a Wrigley's.

Mike: I have an old teddy bear I secretly wiped my nose on for years.

Violet: It’s not a contest.

[badteavee]

Some more fake catcf tweets asked for by no one but me 🫶 ( including a guest star of my twt moot )

[totallyaccuratecatcfquotes]

Charlie : What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Veruca: 'Prettiest Smile'

Augustus : 'Nicest Personality'

Mike: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Violet: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

Catcf!Vox: Alastor, guess what? I managed to get back the bank account you closed!

Catcf!Alastor: You didn't…buy the account, did you?

Catcf!Vox: Nope!

Catcf!Alastor: Oh, that's good. But how—

Catcf!Vox: I bought the bank!

Alastor would never eat here but this reminds me of that one incorrect quote that's like "I told you to buy me McDonald's." "I did!" "A BURGER NOT THE FRANCHISE"

[verucastutu]

Violet , struggling to keep upright in 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me

Veruca ,walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

[whlshrk944]

Wonka: gentle reminder not to eat too much candy before bed.

Mike: nope.

Wonka: this was a gentle reminder, yet your words of defiance bring me ungodly amounts of rage.

[alicewhimzy]

Wonka; People ask me how I handle the tour group so easily.

Wonka; The secret is, I don't. I have no control over them whatsoever. This morning Veruca called me into the parlor, and when I walked in Mike shot me in the top hat with a nerf gun.

[marianas-astoria]

Wonka, teaching Charlie to drive: Okay, you’re driving and you see Slugworth and Prodnose in the street. What do you hit?

Charlie: Oh definitely Slugworth.

Wonka: The brakes, dear boy, you hit the brakes.

[marce-mallow]

05 Wonka: Augustus Gloop will not be harmed :)

Musical Wonka: he’ll... make... tasty... fuuudge!

[jaydencoolguy]

Yeah ok.

(Sorry it's all guys none of the options fit any of the girls)

[incorrect-catcf-quotes]

Veruca: It might’ve been thoughtless of us to bake a Death Star cake. Violet: No, it combines two of Mike’s favorite things, chocolate chips and the ability to destroy a planet at the push of a button. Veruca: Well, anyway, it’ll be a nice surprise for the boys. And Auggie doesn’t think I take his interests seriously, so hopefully this will keep him fooled for a while. Violet: Okay, let’s get the fondant and start decorating. Veruca: This is pretty cool. You don’t see too many spherical cakes. (The cake rolls off the table and lands on the floor with a SPLAT.) Violet: I wonder why that is. (Later) Violet: Hey, guys! Veruca: Happy Star Wars Day! Mike: Wow, a Death Star cake! Violet: Yeah. We were hoping it might cheer you up. Veruca: And even though it meant we had to miss the movies, we could still be part of the fun. Augustus: Vell, you didn’t miss anyzing. Ve just started ofer. Veruca: Son of a gun!

[badteavee]

Some fake catcf tweets 🫶