#incorrect bgdd quotes
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walter-sawamura · 4 years ago
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Alexis: I’m coming to your house.
Megan: I’m not home and you don’t have a key.
Alexis: Yes I do.
Megan: Since when?
Alexis: *sends picture of a hammer*
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walter-sawamura · 4 years ago
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Alexis: Carter, can you do something for me?
Carter: I would literally cover up murder for you and plant my DNA at the crime scene and take the blame for the crime.
Alexis: Great. Can you do the dishes?
Carter: No.
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walter-sawamura · 3 years ago
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Carter: Wow, these candles are so romantic!
Alexis: Who said anything about romantic?
Alexis: Maybe I’m going to sacrifice you.
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walter-sawamura · 4 years ago
Conversation
Alexis: New year, new me.
Lydia: New year, same me.
Lydia: I'm perfect, peasants.
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walter-sawamura · 4 years ago
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Megan: I have the best memory! Name one time I’ve forgotten something.
Lydia: You forgot me in the parking lot last week.
Megan: That was on purpose. Try again.
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walter-sawamura · 4 years ago
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“You can be a murderer AND an optimist.”
-Alexis Warren, As Dead as it Gets
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walter-sawamura · 4 years ago
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Carter: I’m not a regular mom. I’m a cool mom.
Alexis: You’re not even a mom.
Carter: You’re grounded.
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walter-sawamura · 4 years ago
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Alexis: Look at my face.
Carter: Okay?
Alexis: No no, keep looking.
Carter: I am looking!
Alexis: No you’re not. Look harder.
Carter: Is there a point to this?
Alexis: Yes. Look as hard as you can. Focus on every part of my face.
Carter: I am!
Alexis: Now... does it look like I give a crap?!
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walter-sawamura · 5 years ago
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Alexis: You played me like a fiddle!
Lydia: Oh no, fiddles are actually quite difficult to play. I played you like the cheap kazoo you are.
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walter-sawamura · 4 years ago
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Alexis: So tell me about your family.
Carter: I have one.
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walter-sawamura · 5 years ago
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Alexis: What kind of weird, creepy family says, “I love you” to each other?
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walter-sawamura · 5 years ago
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Carter: Truth or dare?
Alexis: Truth.
Carter: How many hours have you slept this week?
Alexis: Dare.
Carter: Go to sleep.
Alexis: I don’t like this game.
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walter-sawamura · 5 years ago
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Cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for today.
Carter: No, you don’t sell my father’s approval.
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walter-sawamura · 5 years ago
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Lydia: If anyone needs me, I’ll be dead in my grave.
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walter-sawamura · 5 years ago
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Carter: If you ever need a blazer, I don’t care how late it is.
Carter: Till the day I die, wake me up.
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walter-sawamura · 5 years ago
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Carter: Maybe if I fall in love with my depression it will leave me too.
Alexis: Are you okay?
Carter: Thanks for asking! Absolutely not.
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