#incorrect ac: valhalla

[ms-rampage]

Eivor: "Maybe the real treasure was the friends we made along the way."

Sigurd: "No, I want my fucking gold."

[froschli96]

it's kind of funny how in ac1 they went out of their way to have the assassins at several points refer to themselves as "asasiyun", basically establishing that as the actual origin of the word, only for shaun to tell basim in valhalla that "assassin" is derived from "hashashin" lmao

i like to imagine that inside his head basim just went "oh shit we're called the Stoners now?? lol sick!! what kinda wild shit have y'all been up to while I was asleep??! 😜"

[alt-king]

My whole blog is just practically incorrect quotes at this point, but I don't care because I enjoy doing them. :)

These ones feature Eivor and Ivarr with their two collective brain cells.

Eivor : *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Ivarr: *chugs entire bottle*

Ivarr: It’s perfume.

-

Ivarr: So are we flirting right now?

Eivor: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU!

Ivarr: That doesn’t answer my question.

-

Eivor : WHAT’S YOUR TYPE!

Ivarr: Anything, honestly, but blondes especially.

Eivor, desperately, as Ivarr bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE!

Ivarr: Oh! B positive.

Eivor: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE!

-

Eivor : Violence isn't the answer.

Ivarr: You’re right.

Eivor : *sighs in relief*

Ivarr: Violence is the question.

Eivor : What?

Ivarr, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Eivor , running after them: NO-

-

Eivor and Ivarr skipping stones on lake*

Eivor : It’s such a beautiful evening.

Ivarr, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

-

Ivarr: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Eivor: Twelve, actually.

Ivarr: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Eivor: Yours!

Ivarr: That's right: no one's

-

Ivarr: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Eivor: Ivarr, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

[bayern-moni]

I swear this is what happened right after Eivor did The Raven and the Cuckoo quest with Roshan (in an AU where WhatsApp existed in the late IX century, of course).

Roshan is Basim's mentor, we were deprived of so many embarrassing tales in that quest! So I'm giving that scene justice here with my idiotic chat and I regret nothing

[bayern-moni]

Assassin's creed Valhalla (first half) in a nutshell 🤣

Eivor: Would you say that you’re independent?

Sigurd: [Looks at Basim]

Basim: [Nods]

Sigurd: Yes, I'd say so.

[cow-rants]

Fair warning: this post is in regards to the recent Assassin’s Creed: Shadows trailer. I will talk about my thoughts and feelings regarding race. Thank you.

I’ve been a massive fan of Assassin’s creed (AC) since I first saw my uncle playing it at 7 or 8 years old. I’m a massive history buff and the idea of being able to experience the past through the eyes of an ancestor is such a brilliant idea. Not mention the concept of a secret war being fought through out the centuries is always fun. But as of late, I haven’t been really excited for a new entry. Odyssey was the last game I really played and it was alright, but I’m personally not a huge fan of the new RPG mechanics (although I do understand why they were implemented).

Valhalla looked interesting, but didn’t really feel like an AC game to me. So I put it on my “to play later” list. Mirage looked far better and I definitely do want to play it, but I honestly just haven’t felt a super big pull to pick it up. But when I saw that AC was finally going to Japan, I was ecstatic. I adore Japanese history in general and the Sengoku period is full of interesting conflicts and characters that would fit perfectly with the assassin’s and the templars.

Although they went with some pretty standard people to showcase, such as Oda Nobunaga, I still think they have a chance to do something really interesting story wise (of course, reserve all real judgement for the gameplay reveal. But I’m mainly just talking about the story). Especially with the portrayal of Yasuke. From what I could tell, it seems like his story will be one of disillusionment, possibly betrayal, and redemption. Certainly a story we’ve seen before, but it’s still interesting to see Yasuke in something as big as AC.

Before I get into the more unfortunate discourse regarding Yasuke, I absolutely have to talk about Naoe. See, what caught my eye about her was how she and my OWN AC OC have very similar stories. Well, I don’t know for sure. But they certainly share a similar experience, which is watching their families be butchered by Oda Nobunaga’s armies. It’s not much, but by the gods does it make me pretty happy. My OC’s name is Minori Kishimoto and she’s one of my favorites, so seeing a canon character with some similar traits is kind of exciting for me (okay, very exciting).

Anyhow, back to Yasuke. As soon as I saw the trailer, I knew I was going to see people saying something stupid. So I checked both the comments on the video and twitter. And I was certainly not mistaken. So so so many bad takes and ridiculous arguments that, honestly, only go to show either mild racism or straight up hatred toward African people. Not to mention the fact that they completely ignore Naoe as a protagonist. I guess she must be the greatest assassin of all time.

From what I understand, a lot of people are upset that for a Japan centered AC game, there is a black protagonist. Which, again, ignores Naoe entirely. The biggest argument I have heared against Yasuke being one of the protagonists is that he wasn’t actually a samurai. To which I say: False. Incorrect. Mistaken. Wrong. Factually incorrect.

The primary issue here is the fact that many people refer to him as a retainer. A title that he never officially held, as far as I’m aware, but even so that still makes him Samurai! Looking just at the facts of his life, he was respected by arguably the most powerful Daimyo of that time, earned his trust, received a pension, received a sword, and received property. So then the question becomes: what exactly makes a person a samurai at this time? Because I can tell you one thing, it isn’t noble blood.

A peasant man was once hired by Nobunaga to do a multitude of tasks, one of which was to hold his sandals. This man would soon prove himself to be capable of all of his tasks as well as in the art of war. He would become a powerful man and rise through the ranks until he held the rank of Taiko at the end of his life . That man was Toyotomi Hideyoshi.

If Hideyoshi’s story proves one thing, it’s that at this time anyone could rise to become a daimyo. So then, why wouldn’t Yasuke also be considered a samurai? We’re not even trying to claim he was a daimyo, just that he was a samurai. Retainer, bodyguard, slave, whatever. The fact is that the man was 10000% a samurai and was a respected one at that. To claim otherwise is to prove yourself ignorant in the history you claim to be proficient in, and incompetent at backing up your argument.

Not to mention that from a writing point of view, it’s a brilliant move. Yasuke was not super well recorded and thus is relatively unknown to others. Which makes him perfect for being a:

1. Fish out of water character

2. Real person, that can be treated written like a fictional one

All of this to say, I think that this newest Assassin’s Creed has a chance to become one of my personal favorites. As well as putting the series back on the map for many. But, with no gameplay and an already worrying pre-order package, I’m worried to say the least. Only time will tell, but I look forward to it.

[gaymer-hag-stan]

This notion that Ubisoft is going to make everything "LikE iN ThE goOd oLD DaYs" just because the boomer fans (who don't even represent the majority of the fandom) constantly cry about Odyssey and Valhalla, despite both being very successful, is honestly so bizarre to me. Remember, Mirage was just going to be another Valhalla DLC until they decided to make it a standalone game. This does not mean that they're going back to that formula, a formula that was done to death and almost killed the franchise with Unity and Rogue mind you, they're just trying to appease those throwing a fit and then the next ones will probably be closer to Origins with maybe more traditional stealth elements reintroduced or maybe they'll switch back and forth from RPG to Classic on a game-to-game basis to keep everyone happy.

Maybe Mirage will be such a roaring success that they will go full on Classic AC again until people start complaining again after 2-3 games. Who knows?

But y' all need to stop with this "OdYssEy AnD VaLhAllA ARe FlopS, OnlY AC1 Is gOoD" narrative because it's, factually, incorrect

[ls-21187]

ladies and gentlemen, ✨eivor wolfkissed✨

[dacian-assassin]

Basim: How high are you?

Eivor *chuckling giddily*: Good, how are you?

[ilikedetectives]

How Kassandra first encounter with Eivor actually went down

Kassandra: are you a lesbian?

Eivor: no, I'm Norse

[incorrectfandomsapphic]

#201

Vili: Okay. Well, to be fair, I thought I was dating Eivor Wolf-Kissed. Randvi: I'm sorry. What? You thought you were dating Eivor Wolf-Kissed? Randvi: Raven Feeder, drengr of the Raven clan Eivor Wolf-Kissed? Vili: What part of shapeshifter do you not get? Randvi: You thought she drove a Passat?

Source: She-Hulk: Attorney-At-Law

[ms-rampage]

More of Liv acting on her intrusive thoughts please 😂😂

Don't know if these are considered intrusive thoughts 🤣🤣🤣

Sigurd: "Closest you've been to family since that Saxon snipped your uncle's neck."

Liv (coldly): "Someday, I'm gonna put a sword through your eye and out the back of your skull."

Sigurd: *not threatened, but he should be*

****

Sigurd: "There are many lessons in failure."

Liv: "Yes, you must be very wise by now."

****

Liv to Randvi: "I've known a great many clever men, I've outlived them out. You know why? I ignored them."

****

Liv: "Put the pen down Sigurd, we both know you're not writing anything."

Sigurd: "Ah yes, the famously tart-tongued Mother of Foxes."

Liv: "And the famous TART Sigurd Styrbjornsson."

Sigurd: *offended look*

[kasinonightlife]

Eivor: Are we fighting or flirting?

Ciara: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Eivor: Your point?

[alt-king]

Ceolbert: Eivor, I'm sad.

Eivor: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.

Ceolbert: Ivarr, I'm sad.

Ivarr, nodding: Mood.

[connorkenwaystomahawk]

To all my fellow Assassins Creed simps...

Here, you've earned them

pt. 1

[troublemakingrebel]

Incorrect Valhalla Quotes, Plots & Ships

Bonus: