#including some lesser known series this time

[negrowhat]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

2025 book bingo time 📚

want a completely arbitrary set of reading goals for 2025? want to try something new in your literary diet but don't know where to start? just like a challenge for the sake of a challenge? just love a good game of bingo?

boy do I have something for you!

for anyone planning to participate, please know that I LOVE attention and talking about books, so I would be STOKED to be tagged on any and all updates about what you're reading or planning to read. I'm so, so excited to see all the different ways these prompts get filled, especially if and when they bring people away from the kinds of things they normally read. not to mention snag some new reading recs myself, hopefully!

and of course, I want to know whenever somebody gets a bingo - and ESPECIALLY if somebody fills the whole board! I don't have any prizes for you, but I can offer a sense of accomplishment :)

note that this is designed to be played as 1 book = 1 space, so even if you read, say, a fantasy graphic novel published in 1923 from an indie publisher that has a bat on the cover, you'd only cross off one space. I'm not a cop and I'm not in charge of what you read, so if it sparks more joy to check off multiple spaces per book then go nuts, but I am throwing that disclaimer out there.

EDIT: the 2025 book bingo challenge is now also on storygraph, thanks to @obi-wann-cannoli!

wondering what some of these spaces mean? seeking a couple recommendations to get you started? no idea what a zine even is, let alone how to make one? worry not! I have a guide to all 25 prompts, including recommendations + an example of what I'll be reading throughout the year to fulfill each space. read on beneath the cut!

Literary Fiction: I find that a lot of people are reluctant to check out literary fiction, as it’s often written off as not being about anything but adultery and divorce. If this is you, I implore you to take a chance, acknowledge that adultery and divorce are compelling sometimes, and also remember that lit fic has a lot more to offer than that. At Writer’s Digest, Michael Woodson describes literary fiction as “less of a genre than a category,” which “focuses on style, character, and theme over plot.” My recommendations include Raven Leilani’s Luster, Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, and Melissa Broder’s Milk Fed. 

I’ll be reading: Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar

2. Short Story Collection: You know, a bunch of short stories together in one book? It doesn’t get much more self-explanatory than that. Could be a collection of stories by a single author or an anthology—it’s up to you! I recommend checking out Mariana Enríquez’s The Dangers of Smoking in Bed (translated by Megan McDowell), Nalo Hopkinson’s Falling in Love With Hominids, and Kim Fu’s Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century. 

I’ll be reading: Your Utopia by Bora Chung and translated by Anton Hur 

3. A Sequel: It could be one that you’ve been meaning to get around to, one that’s not releasing until 2025, or the sequel to something you read to cross off another space on this very bingo sheet!

I’ll be reading: Heavenly Tyrant by Xiran Jay Zhao, sequel to 2021’s Iron Widow 

4. Childhood Favorite: Go back and read a book you loved as a child, tween, or teen! There’s no wrong answer here; anything from a YA novel to a picture book would be just lovely, and I can’t wait to see what people pick for this option! I’m not sure which of my old favorites I’ll be revisiting yet—should I go for the warm and fuzzy Casson Family series, or straight towards the mindfucky sci-fi of Interstellar Piggy? Or maybe I’ll go see how Artemis Fowl holds up...

5. 20th Century Speculative Fiction: For those not familiar with the term, speculative fiction can encapsulate science fiction, fantasy, and anything else that falls into the unreal. You’re spoiled for iconic choices here: the 20th century gave us Le Guin’s Left Hand of Darkness, Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale, Butler’s Parable of the Sower and Kindred, L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time, the beginning of Pratchett’s Discworld series, Diana Wynne Jones’ Howls’ Moving Castle, and countless others.

I’ll be reading: Dawn by Octavia E. Butler, love of my literary life 💜

6. Fantasy: Fantasy comes in a thousand different shades, from contemporary urban wizards with day jobs at the office to high fantasy spellslingers chasing dragons away from castles. Some examples I’ve adored are N.K. Jemisin’s The Killing Moon, C.L. Polk’s Witchmark, Fonda Lee’s Jade City, and Nghi Vo’s Empress of Salt and Fortune.

I’ll be reading: The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty  

7. Published Before 1950: This one could not be more straightforward if I tried. You have all of human history (or at least, all the parts that have surviving literature), just not the last 75 years. Dig deep! 

I’ll be reading: Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, published in 1938 

8. Independent Publisher: Did you guys know that just five publishing companies (Penguin Random House, HarperCollins Publishers, Macmillan Publishers, Simon & Schuster, and Hachette Book Group) are responsible for 80% of books published in the US each year, and 25% of books globally? Break away from the big five and see what some small presses are putting out! If you need some ideas about where to start, check out this list of nearly 300 independent publishers with notes on what kind of books they put out!

I’ll be reading: Taiwan Travelogue by Yáng Shuāng-zǐ and translated by Lin King, from Graywolf Press

9. Graphic Novel/Comic Book/Manga: Despite my personal obsession with Batman, the world of comic books is sooo much wider than Gotham City—or anything else that DC and Marvel have to offer. If superheroes aren’t your speed, check out the Southern gothic of Carmen Maria Machado and Dani Strips’ comic The Low, Low Woods, splash around in Kat Leyh’s graphic novel Thirsty Mermaids, or stop waiting for a new season of Dungeon Meshi and go read Ryoko Kui’s manga, translated to English by Taylor Engel. 

I’ll be reading: The Fade, by Aabria Iyengar and Mari Costa

10. Animal on the Cover: Yes, yes, don’t judge a book by its cover—but do go find one with a critter on the cover and give it a read! Absolutely no other requirements here, get silly with it.

I’ll be reading: Shark Heart by Emily Habeck

11. Set in a Country You Have Never Visited: Fiction or nonfiction, doesn’t matter so long as it gives you a little glimpse of a country you’ve never visited in real life. If you’ve somehow visited every country currently recognized in the world, then I guess you get to go read something set in space.

I’ll be reading: A Magical Girl Retires by Park Seolyeon and Kim Sanho, translated by Anton Hur 

12. Science Fiction: A genre just as diverse as fantasy, with a little something for everybody! I recommend Becky Chambers’ Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet for those who want to kiss an alien in the stars and Jessamine Chan’s The School for Good Mothers for those who want a surveillance state dystopia that hits much closer to home.  

I’ll be reading: Womb City by Tlotlo Tsamaase

13. 2025 Debut Author: Read a book by someone who’s releasing their first book in 2025. Fic or nonfic, any genre, no further requirements. Not quite a free space, but pretty close!

I’ll be reading: Liquid: A Love Story by Mariam Rahmani, coming out March 11

14. Memoir: Per Wikipedia, a memoir is “any nonfiction narrative writing based on the author’s personal memories.” Some are funny, some are heartbreaking, some are both! I recommend Carman Maria Machado’s In the Dream House and Roxane Gay’s Hunger, because I tend to lean heartbreaking! 

I’ll be reading: Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner. Again, I like heartbreaking!

15. Read a Zine, Make a Zine: Not familiar with zines? No problem! Check out some of these digital archives for inspiration, and then craft your own zine with this simple guide (or do it your own way, I’m not in charge of you). 

Internet Archives: https://archive.org/details/zines

Gay Zine Archive Project: https://gittings.qzap.org/ 

POC Zine Project: https://poczineproject.tumblr.com/ 

Library of Congress: https://www.loc.gov/collections/zine-web-archive/ 

16. Essay Collection: Like a short story collection, but it’s nonfiction now. Some of my favorites include Samantha Irby’s We Are Never Meeting in Real Life, Elaine Castillo’s How to Read Now, Aimee Nezhukhumatathil’s World of Wonders, and Cathy Park Hong’s Minor Feelings.

I’ll be reading: A Little Devil in America: In Praise of Black Performance by Hanif Abdurraqib 

17. 2024 Award Winner: What award? Any award you like! And boy, there are tons to pick from. Any book that won any award in the year 2024 is free game. If you need some places to start looking, check out some of these:

Lambda Literary Awards, for excellence in LGBT literature: https://lambdaliterary.org/awards__trashed/2024-winners/ 

The Alex Awards, for adult books with crossover appeal for teen readers: https://www.ala.org/yalsa/alex-awards 

Ignyte Awards, celebrating diversity in speculative fiction: https://ignyteawards.fiyahlitmag.com/2024-results/  

Women's Prize for Fiction (self explanatory) https://womensprize.com/prizes/womens-prize-for-fiction/

Others: https://www.bookbrowse.com/awards/ 

I’ll be reading: Biography of X by Catherine Lacey, winner of the 2024 Lambda Literary Award for Lesbian Fiction

18. Nonfiction: Learn Something New: I know very little about archaeology, anthropology, or any other fields that involve studying ancient cities, but Annalee Newitz’s Four Lost Cities: A Secret History of the Urban Age was some of the most fun I had with nonfiction in 2024, because every page brought a brand new discovery. For 2025, find a nonfiction book about a topic you don’t know ANYTHING about, and learn something new!

I’ll be reading: Cooling the Tropics: Ice, Indigeneity, and Hawaiian Refreshment by Hi’ilei Julia Kawehipuaakahaopulani Hobart

19. Social Justice & Activism: Read a book about a social issue, the history of an activist movement, or brush up on a guiding philosophy or ideology. Arm yourself with knowledge, besties, because I have a feeling we’re going to need it! if you need a good place to start, why not try Angela Davis' Race, Women & Class, Mariame Kaba's We Do This 'Til We Free Us, or Molly Smith and Juno Mac's Revolting Prostitutes?

I’ll be reading: White Feminism: From Suffragettes to Influencers and Who They Leave Behind by Koa Beck

20. Romance Novel: Listen to me. Fucking listen to me. I mean a ROMANCE. NOVEL. Not a novel that incidentally has a romance in it. Romance novel, motherfucker. Go check out the romance section and have some whimsy as two people fall in love through the most contrived series of events ever conceived. If you really need a romance that makes you feel smart (that’s still sexy and messy as hell), try Akwaeke Emezi’s You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty.

I’ll be reading: Go Luck Yourself by Sara Raasche  

21. Read and Make a Recipe: Could be a cookbook, could be a recipe you yoinked from the New York Times, could be something your grandparents lovingly wrote down by hand. Could be as complex or as simple as you like, just make something tasty! Some cookbooks I’ve enjoyed are Sohla El-Waylly’s Start Here, Dan Pashman’s Mission Impastable, and John Wang and Storm Garner’s The World Eats Here.

22. Horror: Slashers, zombies, haunted houses, creeping paranoia, you name it! It’s time to get spooky and scary with all kinds of things going bump in the night. Maybe this is the year to finally keep up with Dracula Daily? Not for me, I'm not doing that, but you could!

I’ll be reading: I Was A Teenage Slasher by Stephen Graham Jones

23. Published in the Aughts: A throwback, but not too far back. Read something published between 2000 and 2009. Maybe it’s time to finally get into Twilight? (For legal reasons, that’s a joke.)

I’ll be reading: The Sluts by Dennis Cooper, published in 2004

24. Historical Fiction: You know, fiction that takes place in a bygone era! Please remember, this isn’t just about reading a book that’s old; we have a separate prompt for that! This is about reading something that takes place in the past relative to the time it was written. Pride and Prejudice is historical to us, but was contemporary when Austen wrote it. Think of Brit Bennett's The Vanishing Half, Markus Zusak's The Book Thief, or history + a bit of fantasy in book's like R.F. Kuang's Babel.

I’ll be reading: The Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon

Bookseller or Librarian Recommendation: This one is fun, and something I always like to do when I’m travelling and visiting a new bookstore. Ask a bookseller or librarian to recommend something they’ve liked, and check it out! If going in person isn’t feasible, many bookstores and libraries have staff picks on their websites, and the Indie Next List is a monthly list of independent booksellers’ favorite new releases. 

I’ll be reading: The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse by Louise Erdrich, which I bought at Erdrich’s bookstore, Birchbark Books, this summer :)

lastly: tagging people who asked to be tagged to make sure they didn't miss this! @thebisexualwreckoning @perfunctoryperfusions @reallyinkyhands come get your bingo sheet!

[ardafanonarch]

Hello, in fic I've come across mentions of

- the elves stopping frequently on their journey to Aman to have sex (and Orome urging them forward by creating storms?)

- elf sex being too intense for most mortals to survive

I think these come from HoME or NoME (or similar sources), but I've never seen the actual quotes. There might be other things related to elf-sex in there as well.

So I guess my question is: What else did Tolkien mention about elf sex, apart from (the already relatively well-known) LaCE?

Elf Sex Lore

There comes a time in every Tolkien fan’s journey when they come upon the Professor’s writings on Elf sex — and, since 2021, there are even more! Elf Sex Lore remains a hot topic as the fandom continues to experience the aftershocks of the spurt of new lore that came with the publication of The Nature of Middle-earth (NoMe) in 2021.

As you say Anon, before NoMe was published, the fandom’s primary resource on Elf sex was the (in)famous essay Laws and Customs Among the Eldar (LaCE), published in 1993 in Morgoth’s Ring, the tenth volume of the History of Middle-earth series. LaCE is full of juicy (or not-so-juicy) lore about Elven aging, marriage, gender roles, naming, death, and rebirth.

It is in relation to the first two that we get some details on Elf sex, such as the knowledge that “it was the act of bodily union that achieved marriage, and after which the indissoluble bond was complete.” (Laws B). We also learn that:

“…the Eldar say* that in the begetting, and still more in the bearing of children, greater share and strength of their being, in mind and in body, goes forth than in the making of mortal children. For these reasons it came to pass that the Eldar brought forth few children; and also that their generation was in their youth or earlier life, unless strange and hard fates befell them. But at whatever age they married, their children were born within a short space of years after their wedding. For with regard to generation the power and the will are not among the Eldar distinguishable. Doubtless they would retain for many ages the power of generation, if the will and desire were not satisfied; but with the exercise of the power the desire soon ceases, and the mind turns to other things. The union of love is indeed to them great delight and joy, and the ‘days of children’, as they call them, remain in their memory as the most merry in life; but they have many other powers of body and of mind which their nature urges them to fulfil.” The History of Middle-earth Vol. 10: Morgoth’s Ring, ‘The Later Quenta Silmarillion (II)’, Laws B

*Note how this paragraph is introduced: “the Eldar say”. Phrases like this signal to us that LaCE is not written from a Elvish point of view. There are indications elsewhere clearly pointing to a human author with a human audience in mind.

Translation: Elves use up a lot of energy in baby-making, including in the sex part (“begetting”) but even more in the pregnancy and birthing part (“bearing”), so they don’t have a lot of children and they do so early in life, shortly after marriage. But even if they marry later in life, Elves are still able to have babies because being able to and wanting to reproduce are the same thing for Elves. But once they’ve fulfilled the desire to make babies they’re good and turn to other things. Still, they look back on the time of baby-making as “the most merry in life”.

In most (if not all) cases, when Tolkien writes about sex he is writing about reproduction. Did Elves have sex solely for pleasure? Maybe; I cannot find anything that says they didn’t. I also can find little conceptual separation of sex and reproduction in Tolkien’s writings. Make of that what you will.

(At this point I want to reiterate a principle central to this blog: it’s about presenting what canon says; it is not about casting judgement on creations that subvert, reinterpret, or ignore canon, none of which makes a work lesser than one which adheres strictly to canon.)

So what did NoMe add to our knowledge about Elf sex? First of all, let’s make sure we all know what NoMe is.

What is The Nature of Middle-earth?

NoMe is a volume of texts by J.R.R. Tolkien collected and edited by Carl Hostetter. It is basically a supplement to the last three volumes of The History of Middle-earth (Morgoth’s Ring, The War of the Jewels, and The Peoples of Middle-earth), which cover a period from the late 1950s to his death during which Tolkien was undertaking a rather massive project of worldbuilding, working out the structures underlying his Silmarillion mythology in preparation for revising and publishing what he had written of it before ‘a sequel to The Hobbit’ (LotR) took him away from it for the better part of two decades.

Christopher Tolkien in Morgoth’s Ring called this undertaking “analytic speculation concerning [the] underlying postulates” of his world (Foreword to Morgoth’s Ring). That’s how we end up with essays like LaCE and the philosophical debate about the fates of Men and Elves in Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth.

The texts in NoMe all date to around the same time and deal with the same sorts of questions about the physics and metaphysics of the world: it contains the essay on ósanwë, for example.

The Context of the NoMe Sex Lore

The first section of NoMe, ‘Time and Ageing’, is where we get the new lore on Elf sex. As it happens, the sex lore is rather incidental to extensive ruminations two core questions:

How did Elves experience the passage of time and how did they age?

How did the population of Elves go from 144 at Awaking to a sufficiently high number (around 30 000) when they reached the shores of Beleriand on the Great Journey?

(It is not relevant to get into why 144 and why 30 000 here; suffice to say those are the numbers Tolkien wanted and he expended great imaginative and mathematical energy trying to make them work.)

A note on the textual context: Anyone who has ever engaged in worldbuilding knows how it can go. You think (for example), “Okay, I need to develop a backstory for this character’s spouse,” and before you know it you are knee-deep in invented genealogies and geographies and Eru-knows-what-else.

It’s important to bear in mind that this is what Tolkien was doing. The quotes we are about to look at (yes, very soon!) are from a collection of evolving (and unresolved) notes in various states of refinement from barely legible scribbles to carefully penned essays. I will let you decide what that means to you based on your personal definition of canon, but I wanted the textual context to be clear.

Elf Sex Is Intense

In relation to Question 1, Tolkien considers the time-scales of Elven growth, including pregnancy. In the essay under discussion, Tolkien decides that Elven pregnancy should, like human pregnancy, take about 3/4 of a year. Oh no - not that kind of year. A yên, a ‘long year’, the unit used by the Elves and to which the matter of their bodies (their hröar) is bound. Elves gestate for 108 Sun years.

I know what you’re asking: If the pregnancy lasts 108 years, then how long does the sex last?

No? No! You’re probably asking yourself why Tolkien hated Elf-women so much (don’t worry, he says there’s no pain…)! But Tolkien was interested in the first question, which he answered thus:

“On the other hand the act of procreation, being of a will and desire shared and indeed controlled by the fëa, was achieved at the speed of other conscious and wilful acts of delight or of making. It was one of the acts of chief delight, in process and in memory, in an Elvish life, but its intensity alone provided its importance, not its time or length: it could not have been endured for a great length of time, without disastrous “expense.”” (NoMe, p. 24)

An earlier version of this passage, which you may also come across in fandom, comes to a similar conclusion:

“But the act of procreation not being one of growth until the union of the seed and being under full control of the will does not take long - though it is longer and of more intense delight in Elves than in Men: too intense to be long endured.” (NoMe, pg. 27)

Translation: Pregnancy, like other aspects of physical growth, is a process of the hröa over which the fëa has no control; thus it is bound to unfold on “Elvish time”, i.e. 1 year = 144 years. But the sex leading up to it is an act of the fëa and under its control and therefore occurs at a “normal” speed. The Elves love it, too! But not because of how long it lasts, which is a regular amount of time, but because of how intense it is. In fact, it is so intense that if it were any longer they would suffer “disastrous “expense”.”

What is this “expense”? Basically, it’s referring to the usage of an Elf’s natural “vitality” — far greater than that of Men but not infinite. As far as I can tell, this passage means that having intense Elf sex for too long would have spiritual results similar to Míriel’s bearing of Fëanor, or Fëanor’s creation of the Silmarils. Too much of their spirit would be expended (used up) in the act, with possibly disastrous consequences.

These are the quotes from which, I think, originate the rumour that Elf sex was too intense for mortals to survive. As you can see, the discussion is about Elf/Elf relations. Elf sex is too intense for Elves to endure for too long. Anything about what this means for Elf/Mortal sexual relations is fan conjecture.

That’s the Elf Sex nugget from Tolkien’s considerations of Elven growth rates: Elf sex (between Elves) is intense but of a normal duration.

Elven enthusiasm for baby-making delays March

As you can imagine, more nuggets are unearthed in relation to Question 2, which boils down to Tolkien crying: “I need the Cuiviénen Elves to breed a lot and quickly!”

Initially, Tolkien developed some Elven life cycle schemes that had them taking a leisurely approach to reproduction, with each generation taking many hundreds, even thousands, of Sun years to materialise.

This scheme did not work for getting him from 144 to ~30k in the timeframe he wanted. So, he made some adjustments to the scheme with respect to the timing of Elven maturity and consequent desire to begin reproducing — and then set about getting those Elves procreating!

One of the solutions he entertained was giving the Elves opportunities to reproduce on the Great Journey. He laid all of this out in a timeline (NoME, p. 49-53) detailing where and for how long the host of Elves would pause because of the “desire to beget children” (p. 49).

Reading this timeline, it can become increasingly comical each time this desire to reproduce (i.e., have sex) halts the host. It can start to read like, “The Elves took forever to cross Middle-earth because they couldn’t stop banging!” And, in a way, that is what happened. But bear in mind the context is an attempt at solving the problem of increasing the Elven population to a number Tolkien considered satisfactory for his worldbuilding endeavours. An Elven enthusiasm for sex is there, but it’s not the whole picture.

There are several points on the timeline when Oromë hangs out with the Elves or checks in on them, and he does become increasingly concerned with their begetting-related delays. For example:

“About 2000 pairs (of available Telerin 8th gen. of 4,950) beget children in the spring 1130/80. The Chiefs and Oromë are disturbed.” (NoMe, p. 51)

(“The Chiefs” are Ingwë, Finwë, and Elwë.)

And:

“Either by chance, machinations of Sauron, and/or because Oromë withdraws protection (hoping to make the Eldar less content with their new Home (Atyamar), winters are hard and the weather worsens.” (NoMe, p. 51)

The second quote is the origin of that rumour about Oromë creating storms to urge the Elves on because they were having too much sex. Is it canon? Not quite: Oromë didn’t create the storm, for one, and the emphasis is on sex for the pleasure of children more than the pleasure of sex on its own (though, as we know from the previous discussion, sexual pleasure was certainly had!). But the rumour you've heard is not without basis in Tolkien’s notes.

The First Elves Really Loved Sex

There’s one more Elf sex nugget in NoMe that I’d like to end with. While scrambling to get his Cuiviénen Elves reproducing at an adequate rate to reach his population-at-finding target, Tolkien came up with what he calls the “Quick prolific” scheme (p. 99).

“The Quendi in their first few generations before the March (or reaching Valinor) must — as is quite reasonable — be made far more eager for love and the begetting and bearing of children. *They must have larger families, at shorter intervals between births.” (p. 107)

To explain this attitude of reproductive eagerness in the first few generations of Elves, Tolkien coins the term “philoprogenitive” — they love to procreate! Procreating — not artistic and intellectual pursuits or exploration or leadership as with later generations — is their number one priority in life. So much so that “they mated almost at once with their predestined mates” (p. 54).

Not only that, but they have so many babies! In one version of the scheme, 12 children per couple in the first generation (p. 108). (This soon changes to 6 per couple. Philoprogenitive they may be, but no one gets to outdo Fëanor).

As with the highly intense Elf sex and the Great Journey delayed by procreating, this is another bit of NoMe lore with great imaginative potential. As we learn from LaCE, Elves enjoyed sex, quite a bit actually, but they enjoyed a lot of other things also, and after a period of baby-making they would usually move on from sex (though they would always remember it fondly). But the First Elves, those early generations by the shores of Cuiviénen? No such balance between sex and other pursuits. It was all about sex and procreation for them.

Of course, what we’ve been looking at are drafts and notes. While all written around the same time (late 1950s to early 1960s), none of the texts here examined were ever finalised and many of them don’t even agree with each other. Tolkien was experimenting; he was worldbuilding. And with the publication of these notes in NoMe, we in turn get some intriguing ingredients for worldbuilding of our own.

So, do as you like with the Elf sex lore. But if you’re looking for a great setting for some canon-compliant smut, may I suggest Cuiviénen?

Resources

PDF of LaCE

Mythgard Academy’s seminars on The Nature of Middle-earth. You don’t actually have to have read or own NoMe to follow these discussions. Great for getting a handle on the material, and ideal for listening as you work your way through reading.

[dofushiza]

The Sheeple Theory: Cloning Experiments in One Piece

The One Piece world is no stranger to science, experimentation, and genetic engineering, as evidenced by the likes of Vegapunk, Judge, and Caesar Clown. One particularly intriguing corner of this lore involves a recurring theme of sheep-like humans. These characters, scattered across the series, may hint at a deeper connection to the shadowy history of cloning technology in One Piece. This is the foundation of what I call the Sheeple Theory.

The Observations: Sheep-Like Humans in One Piece

Five notable characters in the series exhibit sheep-like traits:

Merry the Butler: Kaya's loyal caretaker in Syrup Village has distinctly sheep-like horns.

Caesar Clown: The mad scientist from Punk Hazard is identified by Sanji as "sheep-like," largely due to his prominent horns, though no further explanation is given.

Bankuro: A lesser-known member of Roger’s crew with a sheep-like appearance.

Toto Land Resident: A background character in Big Mom’s Totto Land also bears sheep-like features.

Atlas: One of Vegapunk’s satellites, resembling a human with sheep-like traits. Notably, someone on Reddit mentioned her design may reference Dolly, the first cloned sheep in real-world history.

Key Distinctions: Sheeple vs. Other Hybrids

These sheep-like humans differ from minks, zoan Devil Fruit users, or SMILE fruit mutants in critical ways:

Minks: Minks are anthropomorphic animals with distinct fur, features, and cultural identities, far more animalistic than these “sheeple.”

Zoan and SMILE Users: These transformations are the result of consuming Devil Fruits or artificial SMILE fruits. Their traits appear temporary or artificially induced, not innate.

Caesar’s minions: Some are ram-like, but they were created by Law very recently.

Instead, these sheep-like traits seem to be a subtle but permanent part of their genetic makeup, closer to something engineered.

The MADS Connection: Early Cloning Experiments

This theory suggests that the sheep-like individuals seen in various contexts might have been among the earliest human clones, with sheep DNA spliced into their genetic code due to the relative ease of cloning sheep. The rationale behind this is the relative ease of cloning sheep, as evidenced by early scientific experiments such as the creation of Dolly, the first cloned sheep. A possible key figure in this early stage of cloning technology is Dr. Vegapunk.

When Caesar was born, Vegapunk was only 10 years old. This timeline raises interesting questions: Was Vegapunk a child prodigy whose intellect was enhanced by his devil fruit powers, or did he join the cloning project at a later stage? Regardless, it is clear that over time, Vegapunk mastered and refined cloning technology. This knowledge was likely shared with Judge during their time together in MADS, and Vegapunk later used it to create his satellites, including Atlas, who might be a tribute to those early cloning experiments.

The connection between the MADS scientists—Vegapunk, Judge, Caesar, and Queen—and cloning technology runs deep, as they collectively spearheaded advancements in biology and genetic engineering.

Supporting Points:

Judge’s Expertise in Cloning: Judge's successful development of cloning technology, as seen in the creation of Germa 66's clone army, likely stems from the groundwork laid during his collaboration with the other MADS scientists. His achievements hint at a shared foundation of cloning knowledge developed during that era.

Vegapunk’s Satellites and Cloning Inspiration: Vegapunk’s satellites, particularly Atlas, might pay homage to Dolly, drawing a symbolic connection to the first cloned sheep. This idea supports the notion that Vegapunk’s cloning techniques were inspired by or evolved from the early sheep-human hybrid experiments.

Caesar Clown: The Prototype Clone

Among the sheep-like characters, Caesar Clown stands out as the most human-appearing and influential. This raises the possibility that he might have been an early and highly refined clone. Caesar’s eventual partnership with Vegapunk and his role in the Punk Hazard experiments suggest a mentor-mentee relationship, rooted in their shared origin. Perhaps Vegapunk saw potential in Caesar as the "most perfect clone" of his time and groomed him into the scientist he would later become.

Because Vegapunk is a nice guy, he possibly let the other clones go freeto live their lives or helped them escape, and they ended up scattered all around the world of One Piece. 

The Legacy of Cloning

Vegapunk’s creation of Atlas and the other satellites solidifies the idea of cloning's continued legacy in the One Piece world. As one of Vegapunk's satellites, Atlas could symbolize a perfected culmination of cloning technology. The homage to Dolly in her design suggests that Vegapunk may still respect and acknowledge the earlier, flawed cloning experiments—possibly a subtle nod to Caesar, Merry, and others.

[zipegs]

I’m back again with another rec list!! This time, I’ll be focusing on ostensibly lesser-known long fic—for my own organizational purposes, this means a word count of (approximately) 20k+. I will be including WIPs this time around, but they’ll be clearly indicated at such. Recs are divided into two categories—canonverse (including slight adjustments to it) and alternate universe. All fics are Hannigram unless otherwise noted. 

Please be sure to heed all archive tags and warnings! Hope you enjoy, and don’t forget to give the authors some love!!

Dolce Far Niente by @avegetariancannibal​ [E, 20k]

Hannibal and Will have many, many sweet things to say and do to each other.

Technically this is part of a series, but I found it reads perfectly well on its own! 20k of Will and Hannibal being soft, sappy, and incredibly in love post-fall. A little domestic fluff, a little vacationing, and a little smut—the holy trinity tbh.

The Fall, The Flood, The Flight - Hannigram by write_starlight_riots [T,  24k]

Hello! :]

This is mainly the manifestation of a very indulgent inspiration/daydream/thought experiment that seeks to explore what immediately-post-fall Hannigram would be like. And I mean /immediately/.

Also inspired by @/threadsoflacee on tumblr!

I’m a sucker for hurt/comfort, sickfic, and vulnerability, and oh man does this fic deliver! The boys are hanging on for dear life as they fight to take care of each other’s wounds while struggling through their own. Both of them are absolutely hamstrung by their injuries in the most delicious ways, and we also get some wonderful ~feelings~ drama and realizations mixed in with it all. Very visceral and desperate in the best of ways.

Io by cuspid [M, 24k]  * WIP

"You look tired, Will. Why don't you rest? I promise I'll wake you if anything should happen." "It's already happening," Will said, and Hannibal's smile widened.

On the way to the cliff house, Will begins to feel unwell.

SUCH an amazing A/B/O AU! Will presents as omega and goes into his first heat while he and Hannibal are driving to the cliff house. cuspid’s writing is STUNNING, and I’m particularly enjoying the way they weave omegaverse into the universe, including the cultural and language differences they include when we get Chiyoh’s POV. It really feels like an intrinsic (and very NBC Hannibal) part of the universe, and they fit it flawlessly into canon. Speaking of, they include some fantastic Chiyoh POV as well as POV from an original character who I fell in love with instantly. Amazingly hot, fantastic characterization, sexual tension... 1000/10 highly recommend. Last updated June 29, 2023.

The Rules of Disorder by @lestatdelioncourte​ [E, 53k]  * WIP

He is falling...

Will Graham falls off a cliff in the arms of Hannibal Lecter, finally accepting the darkest parts of himself. He wakes up, uninjured and in Hannibal's bed in his old Baltimore house. Confused, Will quickly realises something is wrong and has to navigate a new reality: one where Hannibal Lecter is not a killer, where they have made a life together without any of the familiar horrors. It is his ideal world...isn't it?

I’m definitely a sucker for parallel universe/time travel nonsense, and this fic doesn’t disappoint!! It’s so heartbreaking and hopeful and bittersweet—Will finally gets everything he could have had, only to realize it’s not the same as what he wanted at all. Very investing, emotionally rewarding fic! Definitely feeds my hankering for angst while not being one-note painful—it’s got that delicious balance of comfort and pain that I can’t get enough of. Last update was June 2023.

Honzen Ryōri by @terminalfids​ [E, 54k] * WIP

"I have never felt as alive as I did when I was killing him," Will admitted in a whisper, and it was true. His skin ached with it, felt like he might simply burst from it. It wasn't enough to contain him.

"Then you owe Randall Tier a debt," Dr. Lecter mused softly, still holding on to Will's hand as he cast a glance over the corpse before them. "How will you repay him?"

"I want to skin him," he said after a long moment, dragged out until he could feel Dr. Lecter's emotions swallow his own with anticipation. The man's feelings were bombastic. Loud and inescapable when he let them fly free on his face. It was easy to submerge himself in it, mirror it, until Will felt more of Dr. Lecter in his head than himself. Dr. Lecter wasn't a psychopath. He was more emotionally alive than anyone Will had ever met. He just also happened to be able to act as cruelly as though he felt nothing at all but cold curiosity at the simple flip of a switch. "I need the- the parts. I want to build him a monument. Do you know a place where I might do that?"

For the second time since his release from the BSHCI he thought that Dr. Lecter might kiss him. He told himself that he was relieved when he did not.

Canon-divergent from Naka-Choko. Picked this fic up soon after it was first published my god did I enjoy it!! The very first scene had me head over heels—it’s beautifully written, delightfully intimate, and has just the combo of hurt/comfort, inner conflict, and turmoil that makes me drool. I’ve loved the little changes terminalfids has made to canon so far, and the way they’ve echoed or adapted canon scenes and lines in new, appropriately divergent contexts. Really fantastic characterization and POVs from both characters—I love the insights we get from each of them and am SO excited to see how it all turns out! Last updated on February 2024.

A place you can never go by @det395​​ [E, 84k]

When things don’t go according to plan, Hannibal makes a wish. He finds himself a year-and-a-half in the past and seemingly given another chance with Will.

His feelings about the situation only get more complicated when he realizes he may not have completely lost access to his old timeline after all.

A Digestivo canon divergence.

I have never ever felt so emotionally conflicted (/positive) while reading a time travel/parallel universe fic! Jen writes these characters beautifully and captures their pain so well. I love the way she uses the memory palace throughout this, and I was hanging on every word. Absolutely stunning fic that has become one of my all-time favorites. She also has written two DELICIOUS timestamps/accompanying one shots, which are part of the same Ao3 series as this fic.

The Storyteller by @gzdacz-writes-fic​ [E, 188k]

Hannibal has little choice: to eliminate the threat he presents, he must stand by and let illness consume Will Graham. But the brighter Will burns, the more the delusions of his inflamed brain begin to spill onto Hannibal's world, until the boundaries between the real and imagined become faint - and something Other slips through.

Canon divergent from partway through season 1. I will rec this fic until I’m blue in the face. It starts out /painful/—Hannibal lets Will’s encephalitis continue on unhindered with some truly devastating results—and continues on a slow, emotional, bittersweet train that incorporates some truly lovely character moments, some great catharsis, and an incredibly engaging surreal/magical realism–style mystery. Fantastic writing and characterization, incredibly engaging through and through. HIGHLY recommend but be prepared for the road to be bumpy! There’s a lot of caretaking and recovery both mental and physical, in addition to some emotional turmoil 🥰

Callin’ Anybody, Can You Hear Me? by nobetterlove [E, 19k] 

Daring to take an Introduction to Visual Arts class, a completely blind Will Graham ventures into The Walters Art Museum for an assignment. While taking the narrated tour, Will isn't prepared for the heavily accented voice flowing through his speakers, flawlessly describing the art that brought each piece to life. Though it was hard to believe, love at first listen sat at the back of his mind.

Two years later, Will visits the museum every other Friday, fixated on both the voice and the beauty and knowledge his favorite museum had to offer. With the right connections and a true talent, Will scores a gig playing for the museum's latest exhibit reveal. When a recognizable voice makes the opening presentation, Will is overwhelmed with feelings and dreamed up possibilities. What happens when the voice becomes a real person, who finds Will just as interesting?

Or - the one where Will falls in love with Hannibal's voice before ever meeting him.

A really lovely piece! The characterizations ring so true to me and I love this portrayal of blind Will Graham. The author does a wonderful job with Will’s inner monologue and really beautifully portrays his perspective and interaction with the world as influenced by both his blindness and his Classic Will Graham character that we’ve all grown to love! The first meeting between Will and Hannibal is so heartwarming, sweet, and charmingly fluffy, and their relationship blossoms quickly—we’re treated to some really lovely dates that beautifully capture that honeymoon-stage flutter and fondness, and there’s a lovely navigation of their mutual loneliness that definitely hit home for me. Though this fic itself is technically complete, it does end on a cliffhanger meant to be picked up by a second installment of the series. If you end at the penultimate scene, though, it can be read as a complete work!

Songs for the End of the World by th_esaurus [M, 20k] Will Graham/Abigail Hobbs/Hannibal Lecter,  Will Graham/Abigail Hobbs

When the infection hits, swift and relentless, turning men into monsters and the world into a wilderness, Will Graham is one of the few who doesn't run. He's lost his wife, he has no colleagues, and Abigail Hobbs has been a ghost for such a long time; the only person he has left in the world is sitting in the dank cells of Baltimore Hospital for the Criminally Insane.

Waiting for him.

A TLOU-inspired post-canon AU written before s2 aired. Really beautifully written, fantastically emotional and heart-wrenching piece that kept me engaged all the way through to the bittersweet end. The characterizations are so good and the prose is amazing—highly recommend! For those who don’t normally read Will/Abigail or Hannibal/Abigail, it is present, but I think even those who don’t normally find that to be their cup of tea could enjoy this piece! There are a few very brief sex scenes between Will and Abigail (really no more than a few lines) but it’s the intimacy and distance and horror and love between the three of them that really shines through!

oh, give no faith to show by videcormeum [M, 25k]  * WIP

“Try to relax your shoulders. Be one with your body, do not fight it.”

Atoms separated them. Will swallowed. With a deep, steadying breath, he allowed his shoulders to drop. It felt better, the pull at his muscles easier. His chin lifted naturally. Projecting to the balcony.

Hannibal smiled. “That’s good, Will.”

Dancers are dying at a local ballet company. With local law enforcement convinced it's an inside job, promising FBI agent and ex-dancer Will Graham is sent undercover to investigate. When he meets renowned ballet dancer Hannibal Lecter, it becomes clear that the investigation will be anything but straightforward.

Yes, you need to read a Ballet AU. Trust me. The whole cast is repurposed here as part of the ballet company (except for Jack Crawford, who remains with Will in the FBI camp), from dancers Zeller and Bev to ballet master Hannibal, choreographer Chilton, and Madame Du Maurier. The piece is really delightful and full of emotion, old trauma, and sexual tension while also delivering some really fun company bonding and banter. Really lovely piece, especially for anyone with any interest or experience in dance or performance! Last updated May 2021.

A Trip for Biscuits by anothersummerday (M_hys_a) [E, 26k]

In late summer 1936, Bedelia du Maurier's traveling circus is plagued by a series of murders, and Will Graham begins a brief but passionate affair with a man named Roman Fell.

Wow, a delightful read all the way through! The circus aspect itself doesn’t play too big—we don’t see any performances, so it mostly serves as a backdrop that provides a really lovely traveling outcast feeling. We get an encephalitis-era Will analog here, grappling with having killed Hobbs and facing his canon-typical nightmares and sleepwalking, and then Hannibal, using the alias Roman Fell, shows up smack in the middle of all of it. Delicious repurposing of canon dialogue, lovely cameos and supporting roles from characters like Margot, Reba, Dolarhyde, and Peter, and just really smooth, engaging writing.

climb into your shell of grief by skellytons [T, 37k]  * WIP

"There is... a distinctiveness to the way that you carry yourself, Will. It is familiar in people like me and unfamiliar in people like them." Hannibal looks up at the sky, reading the stars. "And people cannot trust what they find unfamiliar."

"Well, what can I do about that?" Will scoffs, feeling quite lost indeed.

"You say you have this man's address."

"Yes."

Hannibal holds out his hand, palm toward the calm sky, "May I have it?"

Will has never been one for support groups. He hadn't planned to stay for long. And then he heard Dr. Lecter speak.

Retired FBI agent Will Graham finally gives in to pressure and attends a grief support group, and one of the members there immediately catches his attention (three guesses who that is). This is definitely a heavy one, so check the tags—lots of angst and hurt/comfort, and the focus really is on Will’s grief and trauma, the background and details of which are fed to us just a little at a time, enough to whet the palate but not give you the whole picture right from the start. It’s also got a fun mixture of canon characters, who poke in from the sides, and unfamiliar ones, who serve as a pleasant, not-at-all distracting backdrop for Will and Hannibal’s interactions. Last updated May 2024.

give it to the dirt by @ropertplant​ [E, 132k]  * WIP

Hannibal gets called in to consult on his second FBI case after The Minnesota Shrike; a string of murders connected to New Orleans. While he’s there, he meets a very interesting tour guide for the city.

They talk. They argue.

And they have much more in common than they may realize.

This is the Hannibal we know from canon—Chesapeake Ripper, psychiatrist, consultant for Jack et al back at the FBI—put up against the Will we know in spirit, if not in exact circumstance. Will has remained in New Orleans and works as a tour guide, living in isolation on the swamp with his seven-plus dogs. There is so much to love about this one!! The characterizations, dialogue, and banter, for one, are delightful and so striking. We get a delicious helping of smitten Hannibal, bitchy/abrasive Dark!Will, delightful inner conflicts, sexual and romantic tension, some hilarious peeks at Team Sassy Science, and more. There are some INCREDIBLY fun and incredibly hot scenes, and there’s great humor throughout along with some really well-done sweet moments. This one absolutely consumed me—once I picked it up I couldn’t put it down! Last updated July 2024.

Symbasis by @bloodripelives​ [E, 126k]

Anabasis: a journey up away from the coast, cf. Xenophon, Alexander. Katabasis: a journey towards the coast, or, descent to the underworld, cf. Persephone, Orpheus.

The world is being torn apart and remade. The ripper of Carthage thinks to help with the tearing; a desert prophet is ready to be remade.

REALLY fantastic Historical AU that starts out at the end of Alexander the Great’s siege of Tyre, where Carthaginian Hannibal son of Lectis happens to have been stuck along with the rest of his envoy for the past seven months. Meanwhile, this version of Will (Weldjebauend, or Wel for short) is an Egyptian priest of Ammon-Re; he’d been found in the desert when he was a child by Joh (Jack), another priest of Ammon-Re, who’d taken him under his wing and brought him into the priesthood. Will’s encephalitis-induced hallucinations and empathy are repurposed into visions and knowledge sent by the gods, Hannibal is a hoplite soldier as well as a murderer who’s got a blood feud to avenge, and some of our favorite minor characters are woven in throughout, including Beverly (Bacaxa), Jimmy (Jason), and Brian (Briarios). There’s A LOT of history in this, and Alexander the Great and the historical happenings that go along with him definitely do not take a backseat. It’s a bit of a slow burn leading up to Will and Hannibal meeting and getting to know each other in any capacity, and it’s an enthralling ride—tei’s writing is fantastic and the characters are absolutely engaging from the very start!

[miniaturesketches]

Skyeward Fic Recs

Here's a new list including both old and recent works! I'm always on the hunt for beautifully written fics with great plots and compelling characterization - or you know, just enjoyable and quick fixes, that too - so this list will be updated from time to time. (Note: some fics are abandoned or incomplete.)

The Head & The Heart series by Poetgirl925 is my all-time favorite long fic, featuring a non-HYDRA Agent Ward who ends up planning and working on operations with Skye at the Triskelion. It's the lesser-known sister of the famous Under Your Skin fic by the same author.

the death of peace of mind by hellfxres involves a Hellfire! Ward working as a firefighter. That is, until Agent Daisy Johnson shows up at his station. I haven't finished reading this, but the premise is so interesting that it's on my list.

There is Nothing Special About Grant Ward by NezumiPi is one of my only two bookmarks. That's how good it is - a complex and absorbing exploration of Grant Ward's childhood as the son of a mob boss, his abusive relationship with Garrett, and his subsequent crimes. In custody at the Playground, Ward slowly is allowed to participate in operations again. (Note: this is not for the apologists and while there are interactions between Skye and Ward, they are not romantic in nature.)

You Know You're My Saving Grace by GreenEyedStone is historical fiction set in WW2. Unapologetically Skyeward, it follows the life of Skye, the daughter of the United States Air Force Major Phil Coulson, as she gets married to the soldier Grant Ward and has a child. She works on the frontlines in Europe as a journalist. (I'll admit I'm biased as I beta'd some of it, but I think this fic is criminally underrated.)

How to Keep Your Distance, Unsuccessfully by miniaturesketches, aka me, is an old two-shot. Set in Season 4, Daisy Johnson is on the run as a wanted vigilante, hunting down the Watchdogs. When she's severely injured, there's only one person she can call - Grant Ward, her old partner at S.H.I.E.L.D. (Note: "Ward Is Not HYDRA" fic.)

Four Bullets and A Dirty Smile by thefrenchmistake is one of the most popular Skyeward fics of the early 2020s. Not S.H.I.E.L.D-friendly, it's a classic Grant Ward redemption story. But my personal favorite from this author is the oneshot Maybe in One of Those, We Can Win It All, involving the multiple tragic universes in which Skye and Ward meet. So much angst.

I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day by go_astray_with_me, who is the queen of fun-to-read Skyeward. I'm always excited to read her oneshots (and PWP) when they turn up on the Skye/Grant Ward tag. This one is pretty much as the title says.

The Fine Dimensional Line by Kylia has one of the most exciting plots I've read. Grant Ward and Kara Palamas, desperate to escape HYDRA! Skye, take a gamble on one of Fitz's mad ideas - and end up in an alternate world, one where the fine line between loyalty and treachery, love and hate, worked out completely differently.

Real or Not by DrawntoDarkness is a classic oneshot. After being tortured, Skye has trouble differentiating truth from her implanted memories. She spends a day with each member of the team.

The Persistence of Memory by Eienvine is a "Ward goes through T.A.H.I.T.I." fic. James Shaughnessy is a respectable but average person living a respectable but average life . . . except for the dreams. Except for the scars on his body that he can't explain. Except for Daisy, the beautiful girl who comes to his restaurant sometimes and looks at him like she knows him.

The White Silence by starshine is a beautifully written oneshot. After they crash in the Canadian mountains, Ward must get an injured Skye to Providence. The fact that he is an enemy of SHIELD is of little importance in the face of hypothermia threatening to set in.

A Spy Like Me by colormeblue. After the Battle of New York, Grant Ward decides that he no longer wants Hydra to win its war with SHIELD and becomes a triple agent. Nick Fury gives him orders to work with Coulson's team in order to get valuable intelligence on Hydra but Grant finds his triple status and working with a team quite difficult.

Shades of Grey by imadetheline is another slowburn, Grant Ward redemption fic (unfortunately, abandoned). It was one of the first SW fics I read and I still have fond memories of it!

More coming soon!

[twig-tea]

TWIG! Friend! I couldn't help but notice your tags in my excitement post about getting to La Pluie -- I see that you and I are YYY mutuals. :) Let's call YYY... say... zany or offbeat -- off the beaten path of the usual romance-dominated field of Thai BLs. What are some other "zanier" BLs (not just Thailand, but everywhere in Asia) that you love and would recommend for an off-the-wall experience? And, why?

@waitmyturtles I'm so sorry you sent this a million years ago and then I kept letting it languish. And it's extra rude because I love this question! It's so hard to add something like YYY to a rec list without a billion caveats, so this is a great chance to shout out some of the series & shorts that don't get as much attention. A few of these I know you've seen but I have to include them for completeness.

First, for the sake of other people reading this, as Turtles has written about, Cheewin brings his own kind of zaniness to almost everything he works on; my faves of his other than YYY are Make It Right and Secret Crush on You (the exception is Bed Friend, which is not in any way zany but I still liked it).

Also going to mention that since Turtles asked for off the beaten path zany, I won't be mentioning any of the popular comedies (in case you're wondering why I Became the Lead in A BL Drama or Man Who Defies the World of BL aren't on this list).

Alright now that's out of the way, let's get into the other recs!

Zany lesser-known BLs other than YYY

Ossan's Love Franchise (Japanese, 2016-2024, GagaOOLala)

It is... less true now that this series is lesser-known than it was when I started writing this draft (in uh... August 2023) but I shall persist! The franchise details alone for this series are complete crack:

A 2016 45-minute short [skippable imo];

The 2018 original series which builds the short into a zany 7-episode comedy series about a man in his late 20s who suddenly finds himself the love interest of his older boss (in his ~50s) and his coworker/roommate (in his mid-20s);

The sequel film Ossan's Love: Love or Dead (2019)which turns into an action film halfway through for no clear reason but also remains a romantic comedy in which the mains from the original season decide if they want to stay together

The AU season Ossan's Love: In the Sky (2019) which has the same characters of the lead and his boss from S1 and the short, but this time they work in an airport and all of the surrounding cast is different and leads to a very confusing love rhombus. Incredible 10/10 no notes [people hate this because they like the mains from S1 & the film but I loved the mess]

The sequel season to S1 and the film, Ossan's Love Returns (2024) which you can absolutely watch in isolation and is about the main couple re-establishing their relationship and their found family friend group after being long distance for a few years.

It's truly excellent comedy, and gets better every outing; there are some barriers that might prevent some enjoying the earlier seasons but the most recent one is really delightful. You can hear me talk more about this series with @bengiyo and @shortpplfedup on The Conversation podcast!

Diary of Tootsies (Thai, 2017, grey/Netflix (for the movie))

I love Diary of Tootsies and the follow-ups so much. SO much. One of the best laughs of my life was the opening to the movie, and I cannot be in a long car ride without thinking about the purse incident in s1. This show doesn't get a lot of BL fandom attention because the romance arcs are not typical for BL (but that's one of the things I love about them). And the friendship in this series is truly what sells it. Season 1 is self-contained, a lot of people dislike the romance plot of S2; I really like the arc across s2 to the movie (as established above, I tend to be less invested in a particular ship across a franchise or multiple franchises). The movie plot is all about reconciling who you thought you wanted and who you are with (amongst all kinds of shenanigans).

HeHe and He (Hong Kong, 2018-ongoing, YouTube)

This mockumentary sitcom-style series does tackle some serious topics and is also absolutely hilarious nonsense across its 3 seasons. The very simple premise is that a gay guy ("hehe" is slang for gay) and a straight guy who are old friends become roommates when the gay friend breaks up with his longterm boyfriend and needs a place to stay, and hijinks ensue. They do direct-to-camera confessionals spliced in with scenes from their lives. I love this show so much, and it would actually be high up in my indie BL rankings if it were completed. I lose it at least once an episode. It's very queer (if you want a show that tackles everything from hookups to turning everything into a joke to being so, so mean to each other while also loving each other dearly to even chemsex, look no further), and I am in love with all of the wacky characters that have formed a love-hate found family that is deeply relatable. The creators posted a video a few months ago saying they're struggling to end it in a way that they're happy with so I'm not sure we'll ever get an ending for the show. But if you like comedy and queer content it's worth a watch even incomplete! I've been very patiently following this project since 2018 and it's legitimately one of my favourite shows.

Rainbow Prince the Series (Filippino, 2022, YouTube)

This is a musical; it is a lot of campy nonsense. There is royalty, political intrigue, a dog, kidnappings, and so. much. singing. The songs are surprisingly catchy and it's all extremely good fun. Also a lot of the dialogue is very clearly improvised.

Hey! First Love (Vietnamese, 2019, YouTube)

This series of shorts are mostly just silly fluff. The very tenuous plot is that these shorts are slice-of-life moments from a young established couple, but it's all really just excuses for Vietnamese comedy and BL romance tropes. If you haven't watched anything from Vietnam, this is a very low-stakes commitment (I think it's under 30 minutes of content all told; there are 4 "episodes" which are spliced together shorts, each of which has a tiny plot but there is not much of an overarching narrative, and then a Q&A with the actors at the end) and gives you a sense of the Vietnamese sense of humour. Both of these actors have gone on to continue to be in other Vietnamese BLs, so if you have watched Vietnamese BL you may recognize them! The production quality on this is charmingly low.

Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (India, 2019, Amazon Prime)

This film was such a joy to experience in a live theatre. Billed "the first Gay Bollywood RomCom", this movie was a riot of chaos, dance numbers, shenanigans, hilarity, and cuteness. I loved the way this film incorporated the very real legal change to decriminalize homosexuality in its story. Arguably not "BL" as it very much fits in the bollywood tradition not the BL tradition, but OP did ask for all of Asia!

Like Love (China, 2014-15, grey)

And no I don't mean censored--this is from before China started censoring its BLs. This show has kisses as shown in the gif, and even (poorly cropped) sex scenes. It also is super bizarre. I was so confused by this show, the characterization, the fourth wall breaks, and how disjointed it was so I went to read the source material and...it turns out it's one of the most perfect adaptations I've ever seen, the book is in fact exactly like this. The characters are caricatures, there is no bridging between scenes, and the plot is the most absurd take on 'loserfail no-thoughts-head-empty character who doesn't admit he's gay but still ends up in a dedicated and loving relationship with a rich handsome domineering man ' I've ever seen. It's a bewildering experience. Note the sound quality on this one is suuuper miserable. I like s2 way more than s1 (s1 is getting together and includes a lot of the bullying-teasing and I'm-not-gay-I-just-need-him-to-pay-attention-to-me stuff, s2 is the honeymoon phase + getting the homophobic parents on board) but S1 is definitely the zanier of the two. That being said, if you wanted, I think you can dive right in to s2 (there's a direct-to-camera explanation of what happened in s1 at the start of it). Note that they set up a cliffhanger at the end of 2 in anticipation of s3 which was going to be made in 2016 but was cancelled because of the political changes in China in 2016 (this is one of the reasons I went to read the source material; they do get a happy ending in the books).

This is an extremely silly but also touching franchise with a lot of tropes I don't love, but also a lot of things I do (and just neat to see some stuff so early in BL: Underwater kiss? Helicopter ride? Femme fatale becomes friend of the faen? Supportive grandparent? It's all here). There are some fantastic speeches in s2 about supporting your gay children; I liked how in this the kids didn't give up on their parents but try to reconcile their filial piety with their dedication to each other. If you do watch S1, highly recommended you watch the series version rather than the film. For "S2"/the follow-up film, make sure you look for the uncensored film version.

The Lover Room 709 Cut (Korean/Japanese, 2016, grey)

This starts extremely silly, plays with BL tropes, and gets a little bit serious at the end but is mostly just full of puns and innuendos. Includes one of the most hilarious takes on kabedon, and egregious use of the soundtrack from Brokeback Mountain. Also: fart jokes. Folks worried it was going to stay teasing the audience but it does commit and we do get an actual resolution that is satisfying. I admit I've never seen the whole series (which includes stories of 3 other couples in the apartment building) but the BL cut is readily available if you search. Make sure you look for the deleted scene with the lotion application--this scene walked so IFYLITA could run (I'm kidding, but it's very funny seeing this scene now and thinking about that one).

The Boy Next Door (Korean, 2018, YouTube)

This is another older series playing with censorship (similar to The Lover) in which the two characters end up in BL romance tropes but are not actually in love...or are they? The shenanigans are very fun. This one is left more ambiguous than The Lover, which is one of the reasons it's further down the list.

Go! Go! G-Boys (Taiwan, 2006, grey)

I debated between this and another quirky comedy from Taiwan in the early 2000s, Formula 17, but while that's unequivocally a better movie, this one is lesser known and more zany, so it technically better fits the bill for this ask (but if you haven't, go watch Formula 17!). The plot is a bit cringe--straight boy signs up to gay beauty contest to pay off his girlfriend's debts (accompanied by his gay childhood friend who is in love with him) and finds his truth. Meanwhile a homophobic police officer has also infiltrated the contest for investigative purposes. Amongst all that admittedly not great setup, however, are several bizarre sequences including the incredible Lord of the Rings recreation scene (complete with Gatchaman of course), a killer soundtrack, a random delivery of poultry, someone slapping a cake, and, most absurdly unbelievable at all: police taking harassing death threats to the gay contest seriously. It does a great job of setting up what should be a dramatic scene and then immediately undercutting the tension with something absurd. It's not narratively good, but it is a fun ride! And yes, there is a happy ending. Stick around for a fourth wall break (literally) after the credits.

Something Crunchy Crunchy (Korean, 2018, GagaOOLala)

Extremely bizarre little musical short in which snacks are anthropomorphized as hot guys and they sing songs about being eaten and wanting to be eaten. Played entirely sincerely, but the concept is screamingly funny. Fascinating. Also, kind of poly?

Dom (Korean, 2016, GagaOOLala)

Another hilarious and weird Korean short, this time in which we see the protagonist's sex life from the perspective of the condom boxes that are anthropomorphized and given personalities based on their brands.

And since we can't leave out the ladies,

A few zany GLs:

Lily Fever (Korean, 2015, YouTube)

I wrote about this one a little in my GL rec list; it is absolutely bonkers nonsense. There is not really a plot, it's a fever dream of a show. Chaos! Not so much a romance as an excuse to see cute girls flirt and make out.

Legend of Yunqian (China, 2020, grey)

I debated including this one because only the middle is really the zany part, it's sandwiched with more serious xianxia drama. But in the middle of this miniseries is an extremely cute interlude in which xianxia characters time travel to present day for ~reasons. It's censored but there is very little uncertainty about feelings, and manages to be absolutely charming. Worth the short runtime for this kitten quickcut (subbed "Whomst?!" in the show for ultimate comedy). Warning for character death (but it's ok because time travel to reincarnated character!) Subtitled by the indispensable @douqi7s [see their pinned post for links].

BetCin (Filippino, 2022, WeTV)

A lesbian couple with a YouTube following decide to break up but then find out there's a contest for couples, and they decide to pretend to still be together to try and win the contest rather than tell their fans they've broken up. This series does some really interesting things by starting with a breakup and then looking at how two people who are no longer dating manage BGP while also managing their feelings. There's a lot going on in this show, and the hijinks definitely ensue!

Perfect One Night Stand (Korean, 2020, GagaOOLala)

This is a cute Strongberry GL short in which a friend agrees to help her other friend find a girl to have sex with before the day is over; they go through several quirky candidates looking for the titular perfect one night stand.

[headfullof-ideas]

Introducing the second original dragon species in my crossover AU, the Forktail! (Name pending, but for now I can’t think of anything else. Though I’m not opposed to the name)

The Forktail is a relatively uncommon dragon, or a relatively isolated from human settlements dragon, depending on who you ask. Regardless, Forktail dragons are hard to find, and not just because they avoid most humans. Forktails have the ability to camouflage, much like their far larger and more common relatives, the Changewings. Unlike their larger cousins, Forktails don’t have the ability to spit acid. However, over years of evolution they’ve developed a small defense mechanism when their camouflage fails. A brief electrical surge can run across their skin, shocking anyone who is touching them. Unlike Skrills or Shockjaw dragons, Forktails don’t shoot lightning bolts, simply having the lightning surge. It’s effective nonetheless, very few people being happy after being zapped by a Forktail.

Forktail dragons, like their cousins the Changewings and another dragon of similar heritage, only come in a certain number of colors. Forktails come in a variety of blues, greens, and purples, though they can come in practically every shade and combination of the colors possible. Forktails also have a bioluminescent pattern that they flash as communication or as a mating display, though they only glow when the bioluminescence is needed. It’s hard for a dragon refuted for camouflage to hide when they have bioluminescent patterns glowing all the time, after all. Forktails have light grey eyes no matter the sex, and have very little outward differences to determine the gender of a dragon.

Forktails are hard to come across, and usually unnerving to many who happen upon one. Most dragons show a sentience that most other animals don’t have, on par with human empathy. Forktails, while dragons, are a little different. They’re known for being seemingly detached emotionally, though no less intelligent or sentient than all the other breeds of dragon. Rumor has it that there’s a little something else in their genetic heritage beyond the blood they share with Changewings, something that’s more prominent in another, more dangerous cousin. This isn’t to say that, intelligence and empathy wise, they’re lesser than other dragons. Forktails are still just as intelligent and capable of complex, human levels of thought, that other species of dragons have. They’re even known for forming intense bonds with dragons of their own species and others.

Behold, the dragon that Alpheus is traveling with, a Forktail! I had to include ARIA in some way, since she’s such a big part of his story, but I wasn’t sure how to bring her in for a while. For starters, the technology required to make an AI doesn’t exist here. But I didn’t want to make her a person here either, and Alpheus having a dragon that he rode didn’t feel right either. Eventually, I settled on a smaller dragon, with abilities that were similar to his submarine. Sooo, did I make an entirely new species of dragon just so Alpheus can have ARIA? No, not entirely. Forktails are also part of a further world building effort, something that becomes relevant and important further into the series we go. The emotional detachment is meant to resemble how ARIA is an AI in The Deep, but it also connects to the world building and lore that the species she’s a part of has.

[gren-arlio]

So. Let me tell y'all about a guy named Camus. And a girl named Lala. And other folk. Welcome to Episode 14 of Waku Puyo Extras.

(Ah, back at it again writing these things.)

Hey guys, Gren here, and welcome to Episode 14 of Waku Puyo Extras, a series where I cover basically random stuff about Puyo and Madou as a whole. The Waku part is just because my brand is a single game I translate.

As my free time gets smaller and smaller, the drive to show off cool stuff remains about the same. Thank goodness school is over soon. I'm still alive, don't worry.

Finals and AP Exams are very much happening, so I'm spending that time studying. I'm hoping I pass.

Now, you would expect me to write about PPPP (P⁴ as I call it, Puzzle Pop in other locations) since it released and has a ton of stuff, notably well written characters. But alas:

I'm an Android user. Can't play it.

Frankly, at the moment, I'm not too interested in it right now.

So, the last episode was about Draco, that famous lass. What about this time? Well, since 80% of my work here is Madou related, why not give a showcase of some of the lesser known characters as a whole? Manga and novel stuff included.

With that, hope you enjoy. Also I said a bigger post is coming soon and drop it a literal month later. Damn.

So, Who ARE These Guys?

If you're not familiar with these characters, I honestly don't blame you. These guys are considered kinda niche in the franchise, but are more well known than some guys. I could mention Hanzo and no one besides people who played the game he's from or read the wiki would know him. Oh, or maybe Skeleton-D if we wanted to.

For now, I'll just cover the people have at the very least some stuff about them.

We'll begin with Camus, easily the most recognizable one that we'll be covering today. I swear if he was in Puyo now, he'd be so damn popular.

(From the manual of the Mega Drive release of Madou 1. Notable for being one of the very few times Camus is drawn with the teenage Arle and Lala, both 16, making Camus 18 in this.)

The man, or rather boy, in that photo is the fabled Camus of the Sable Ord- I mean Madou Monogatari 1, both on the SEGA Mega Drive and Game Gear. Since this is a game where Arle is in kindergarten, Camus is her senior. Yeah, senior is the word for this one. He's notable for being the only person to get a perfect score on his exams, that lucky bastard.

Oh yeah he's also like 8 years old for the record in that

In the game, he's both helps you and hinders you for different reasons. Sometimes he's very nice and teaches you things, and other times he's taking stuff from you for playing the game for longer than three hours.

However, at the end of the game (Where he also might help you depending on some stuff), it turns out he was an illusion all along, which is always...fun, you know? That one guy who's been helping you out turns out to not even be real, least in the Game Gear version of things.

Honestly? He's a pretty interesting guy in the game. Arle holds him with some respect, and Lala quite literally has a massive crush on the guy that she's willing to show. Unfortunately.

(Things are really serious in the Kindergarten Exam Fandom...)

He can come off as rude but at the very least he means well. And my goodness, his theme in the game is good.

Underrated gem.

Now, up until a while ago, I kinda thought that'd be the only games he was in, a grand total of 2 whole games. However, by doing this for...a year now, turns out that there IS one more appearance of Camus, presumably to be 18 in the game because...Well, Arle is a teenager there.

Arle Man'Yuki. Or Arle's Travel Log.

Now if I'll be honest, I STILL dunno all too much about the game, despite doing an entire episode on it. The game is super text-heavy, so I don't know EVERYTHING besides some of the Japanese history involved with it. (Crazy how the Heian Era is now some JJK meme. Time is a fun concept.)

Here, Camus has taken the role of the leader of the Shinsengumi, Kondo Isami. It's a long story, so... I'll just link my own work here. (I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO PUT LINKS IN MY TEXT...)

I never covered Camus extensively in that game due to his admittedly small role in that game, but he's a fairly upstanding guy. Schezo works under him as the vice leader. Ain't that cool?

Check it out if you're curious about that, some basic Japanese history that may be a tad inaccurate, or JUMP HERO.

And err...that's every game he's from. Yeah, he's in a grand total of what, three games? It's not much but it's still something. He's a very cool lad.

-----

Wait, who's Lala?

I'm glad you asked, me. Lalah is a character from Mobile Suit Gundam that works with Char after he...well, this is a Madou blog. If only I could talk to you about Gundam. But alas.

Lala is ACTUALLY a girl who's the same age as Arle, and the girl who's madly in love with Camus...as I've told before. But she does have a little more than just that, don't worry.

In the Game Gear version at least, she sneaks into the tower Arle went into to graduate, upset that she wasn't the one to take the exam, but rather Arle. And yes. She broke a brick wall to get to her.

(A 6 year old is stronger than any of us. LMK if you can run into a brick wall just fine.)

Now if I had to describe her, it'd be "Arrogant but funny as hell". Because she's arrogant but funny as hell. Arle calls Lala her BFF, to which she doesn't take that reply nicely and says they ain't BFF'S, they ain't even friends. Straight hater energy. (She wasn't able to take the exam due to a cold.)

Camus appears to stop her from interfering, and she goes on this tangent about how wonderful he is, and how he always eluded her... and chases him, as shown more above.

Things start to get funky when you get deeper into the tower, as Lala makes a literal trap hole, and Arle falls down. However, Lala is mad that she fell and NOT Camus, leading him to appear in the floor above and basically say "Idiot. I'm not falling for that." and she continues to chase him.

Her reign of terror ends when Camus SEALS HER AWAY for the rest of the game. But she's okay after it all don't worry. Arle summed it up the best way I could. She ends up fine after the end of the game, however.

Lala also appears in Chaotic Final Exam too, now 16, but honestly...it's one of the games where I know next to nothing about it. Apologies. Just know that she's there and not Camus. (Though with the style of how the game looks...probably for the better.)

She's just overall what we call in the industry... a girlfail. She tries her absolute best but fails so, so much that I can't help but laugh at her and pity her at the same time.

-----

I have no cool segway into this section. Introducing... Rasp.

You might've seen them around if you've checked my blog here or there as a front page image for my works.

And you'd be right. Rasp is from the Waku Waku Puyo Puyo Manga, a brand new character just made for the thing. They're basically a minion who mostly impede the way for Schezo and Rulue. I say "they" because, well, Rasp is genderless.

Fun fact: Their salary is unknown, but they apparently get paid more than a Manga artist, so take that as how you will.

Rasp does appear frequently throughout the volumes, and does indeed fight Schezo. While they do lose, at least they looked pretty cool while doing so.

-----

Lightning Round:

Now these devilish goofballs are folks I want to show...but don't have much info on them just yet. Or there wasn't that much to begin with.

Septem:

(Creatura...La creature 98...)

Septem is another genderless character from the series, coming from Arle no Bouken, a game I know next to nothing about. All I know from it is them and that they cling to Arle like a sister. I love them.

This is absolutely one character I wish I knew more on, since she's much more developed as a character...I just don't know much about Arle no Bouken.

Dark Witch:

(What is this, a doppelganger bargain sale?)

Now she has a little more to her that I DO know but it's nothing spectacular.

Planned to be in Puyo N but was scrapped due to the idea of her being too serious, which is quite the reason for Puyo, but appears in Comet Summoner anyways as a final boss.

You can even play as her, and fight Witch herself and beat her... and possessing her. Kinda, sorta.

Runelord:

(Dweeb appeared in one game and changed a man)

Runelord is an odd case, because some of his lore is stuck onto True Madou Monogatari, which in of itself...is kinda iffy lore wise. And also really long.

In Madou S? Wants Schezo to be the next successor, he says no, fight happens, Schezo wins but is affected anyways. Apparently he was beaten by Lagnus, but that comes from True Madou, so the accuracy of the Canon can be very much debated. It all depends if you think it's Canon or not.

-----

And honestly, that'll be all for this time around. Apologies this took so long. Life's been quite the journey. Graduation's happening soon, and finals are happening soon. The list goes on. I'm hoping I get by through the school year, but alas, I'm happy you read this.

Adios.

[prgnant]

1995 Drum & Bass

[Part 1 of a five part series where I’ll go chronologically thru every full-length single-artist dnb LP from 95-99 that I can find. Only including records where a majority of tracks are basically within the genre and new material. No remix albums, No VA compilations, No trip hop records with one dnb track, etc.]

Just a few entries for 95 since that was the year dnb and particularly the idea of album-oriented dnb took off as a separate thing from jungle. That said basically all the material here is described as jungle too, there’s really no point differentiating imo. Some mega all time classics of the genre appear on these releases such as Goldie - Inner City Life, Omni Trio - Renegade Snares, and ShyFX/UK Apache - Original Nuttah. Gerald Simpson’s February release Black Secret Technology is for me one of the most transcendent and beautiful records in all of electronic music. Omni Trio and Goldie bring the inaugural full length LP’s for iconic labels Moving Shadow and Metalheadz respectively.

personal favorite: A Guy Called Gerald - Black Secret Technology

underrated/lesser known pick: T.Power - The Self Evident Truth of an Intuitive Mind

one standout track: Foul Play - Music is the Key

full list with links under the cut:

A Guy Called Gerald - Black Secret Technology

Nookie - The Sound of Music

Foul Play - Suspected

Goldie - Timeless

Omni Trio - The Deepest Cut Vol.1

Shy Fx - Just An Example

T.Power - The Self Evident Truth of an Intuitive Mind

DJ Rap & Voyager - Intelligence

Spring Heel Jack - There Are Strings

[oneknightstand-if]

FAQ

(That I just made up because there's no time for questions yet)

600,000+ words for the first chapter?!?

(Damn, Tumblr insists on blowing up even small gifs into full size, huh)

I know, I know... that's not going to be sustainable unless we're aiming for the first 6 million word release in history. I'll be streamlining things more from this point onwards.

Is this a standalone or the first book of a series?

It's a series. The first book One Knight Stand will keep going until we finally complete that Lesser Circle of Seven (or die trying) but the apocalypse won't be over yet.

What is with all these wikipedia links in the game?

So I was going to have tooltips that popped up and explained things such as 'greaves' and whatnot like Twine games do… but oops, Choicescript doesn't have that capability. The closest I could do is include a link to a website that explained it.

I decided that wikipedia had the best chance of still being available years from now and have handy explanations to most things I was referencing (so I wouldn't have to chase after broken links when sites go down forevermore).

And then I just started running amok and linking to anything that the player might not know offhand. If you already understand the reference or have no further interest in it, please feel free to just ignore them.

How can I see the code for the game?

You can view the game code on my site the same way you do on Dashingdon just add /scenes to the end of the URL.

The sound effects aren't working in the game?

Are you playing on iOS (iPhone etc) or macOS? If not, please report this as a bug. Otherwise, if you're playing on an Apple platform unfortunately there's a known bug with OGG sound files not working (even though they're supposedly supported by all browsers by now).

Unfortunately, despite an extensions search, I haven't found a solution for this.

If by the time One Knight Stand is completed, Apple still isn't properly supporting OGG, then I might have to convert all the hundreds of sound files over to MP3 for the iOS version of the game. ( ⚆﹏⚆ ) The conversion will double the size of the sound files however and with hundreds of sound files that's definitely less than optimal there.

Do I need to know anything about King Arthur, Camelot, or random arthurian lore to play this game?

No, you don't need to know anything about it.

You can spend the whole game going "Who is Arthur? What's a Camels-a-lot? What am I even doing here?" as a legit strategy. (You can even play that way if you actually do know stuff about arthuriana.)

If you choose to be an in-game lore expert, it just means your MC is as likely to give an explanation as one of the other characters. However, anything important that the player needs to know will come up in the game itself.

You can also ask the other characters for info dumps on Camelot... and boy, will some of them give you (completely skippable) lore dumps all right.

Hey, this stuff that Merlin's saying about Camelot doesn't jive with what I know!

Maybe that's the difference between what canonically happened in One Knight Stand's backstory. Or maybe Merlin is just gaslighting you.

What's going on with Merlin's pronouns?

If Merlin's pronouns don't fit with the gender that you've chosen for them within the MC's speech or internal narrative, then that's a coding error (please report it).

If another character (say a little girl who's convinced that Merlin is Elsa) is using different pronouns for Merlin than what's expected, then that's simply how that other character is currently perceiving Merlin.

But what pronouns does Merlin prefer?

Merlin doesn't care what human pronouns you use for them. Out-of-universe I'll be using they/them for simplicity's sake (same reason I'll be using 'incubus' instead of typing incubus/succubus the entire time).

What's up with all of Merlin's kaomoji in their text messages and e-mails?

They're a fifth-century mage who's been sealed away for 1500 years... they're *trying*.

 m(✿￣ｰ￣)m plz understand

Why are there so many Merlin questions in this FAQ?

I don't know, it just ended up that way. Probably because they show up in Chapter 1 and have a rather... complex... situation that needs warnings attached to it.

(✿≖ᴗ≖ )ゞ "Naturally, I'm simply the most intriguing member of this party."

Are all RO's available to all MC's?

Your MC won't be blocked from a romance due to gender or sexuality. At most you'll get a passing mention if you're not the gender that the RO usually dates.

There are certain *other* mitigating factors, however... for example not all RO's are going to be kosher with the Serial Killer MC (especially if said MC won't knock off with all the killings).

Also there is one modern day RO that is incompatible with a certain Camelot MC background.

Is there a lock-in point for romances?

No, there will be several points where you can initiate and break-off relationships with the various RO's (and know that the RO's can take take those on and off-ramps just the same as the MC).

You can also romance another character after breaking up with your current RO... but that's going to get tougher and tougher the more you do that.

Can we start a romance in Book 1?

Romances will proceed at a different pace depending on who your MC is romancing (and also on your MC themselves). For example Adrian will be friendzoning you through most of Book 1 for... reasons. Meanwhile, potential sex scene with Merlin in Chapter 3 if you're feeling particularly horny.

Do I need to romance someone to take part in their personal subplot?

No, you just need to be "close" to someone, either platonically, romantically, or otherwise to take part in their subplot. You'll also need to actually be physically present (which will not always be possible for everyone at the same time).

Is there any poly?

In the series, yes, but not in the first book One Knight Stand, as forming the triad will require developing a certain level of trust and loyalty between all three members. And right now everyone is too busy side-eying each other in suspicion at this point.

Thus, since the poly options won't appear until Book 2, saying who is involved would be a *spoiler* since it indicates who'll actually still be available for romance later in the series.

In general, there are three triads that will be available... one is male/male/MC, one is female/female/MC, and one is male/female/MC. Note that there is some overlap in the characters potentially involved in various triads since only a couple of the ROs are interested in this sort of thing.

What about options for flings and friends with benefits--

*points to Merlin*

So... Merlin the incubus as an RO. Can they be romanced monogamously? Can they be romanced asexually?

You can indeed romance Merlin and have them be emotionally monogamous to you as the partner they will always return to while everyone else is a (literal) snack.

But they can't be physically monogamous with the MC. They need to eat and being Merlin's sole food source would literally kill the MC in two weeks or less.

In fact, romanced Merlin is even more likely to seek out other food sources just to make certain that the MC is safe with them and that they won't get too hungry and accidentally eat your soul.

Merlin's nature as an incubus means their sexuality is highly integral to them, and while they will reflect back what their partner wants/needs from them, they are not naturally romantic. Basically if you're not having sex with them, then a high affinity MC is defaulting back to platonic friends.

These are things that are definitely going to be brought up in-game if you try to initiate a long-term romance with Merlin.

Will any other RO have problems with an asexual romance?

Nope, sex can be entirely avoided with all the other RO's, just choose the snuggle options instead of the sex options.

How explicit are we talking here regarding sex scenes?

You'll have the choice between fade to black and something rather more explicit but not full-blown porn. If anything rated higher than that gets included as a DLC option (not part of the base game) will depend upon how much (if any) interest there is in that sort of thing.

Can I romance the saboteur?

You can certainly *think* you are! (Note: This is not recommended for your MC's longevity)

Can I romance the 404 Error?

You can certainly *try*. (You actually have a better chance here than with the actual saboteur.)

Can I romance the dude in the elevator, that random paramedic, or some stranger walking down the street?

( ⓪ ᴗ ⓪ )

So there's only one traitor, right?

There may actually potentially be more than one depending on the MC's actions. But there's always that one particular saboteur present despite whatever else the MC may do.

Will the gender of my past Camelot reincarnation be the same as the one I've chosen in game?

No, there's no connection between your MC's current and past gender (or really their current and past *anything* since they're basically an entirely different person now).

There are four different backgrounds available for the Camelot reincarnation, 2 male and 2 female, so if you end up with a past incarnation you don't like at the end of the game, you can replay for one more suitable to your tastes.

How is the MC's past Camelot Incarnation determined?

Mostly through your choices during the Camelot flashback sequences. Mostly.

Who are the potential past incarnations of the MC?

That's for you to find out! (No really, this is one of the major subplots of the game).

What is with all these grayed-out options?

Options will be grayed out if they conflict with a previous choice the player made if you haven't fulfilled the prerequisites for unlocking them.

An example would be the "I'm lying about my amnesia" option not being selectable if you didn't chose to have amnesia in the first place. (The exception right now is the fencing & book club choices... I just haven't written those routes yet).

If nearly *all* the options have been grayed out, then usually that's triggered by your fear or vice kicking in or because your MC is literally possessed (Congratulations!). You may want to work on that.

I'm here for the story and not for the trauma… what background choices are least likely to spectacularly blow up in my face later?

In that case, I'd suggest the Lab Technician job, the Imposter secret, Abandoned or Abused as your childhood, Lust as your vice if you're not planning to pursue a long-term relationship with a RO (Sloth if you are), either Heights, Snakes, Spiders, or Closed Spaces as your phobia, avoiding Luck as your talent & avoiding the Internet as your addiction, and finally having Adrian as your close friend.

Not saying that you can't make other choices during the game that'll set you on the path to Hard Mode, but these background choices have the mildest potential repercussions.

I want the full spectacular clusterf*ck experience here! What background should I choose?

The Wrath (Vice), Accident (Childhood), and Serial Killer (Secret) combo is always f̴u̸n̷. The "Lying about my amnesia" secret is also it's own brand of mindtrip as well.

Also, some other options include starting off as a Security Guard as your career, with Fear Itself as your phobia (blood or death are also 'good' options), Luck as your talent, the Internet as your addiction, and of course Adrian as your stalker because obviously we don't need any good relationships to fall back on when playing Among Us.

What is going on with the "lying about your amnesia" option?

What indeed.

If you don't like meta fourth wall breaks or otherwise heavily self insert, you might not want to choose that as your secret.

My MC's skin is pretty dark, is that demonic-bruise thing actually going to be seeable?

Since the bruise being perceivable is an important plot point, then no matter how dark your MC's skin is, that bruise is darker still even if has to become the abiding abyss of a black hole to do so. (I even described it as a black hole in some routes to cover my posterior.)

My MC is intrigued by this agenda of demonic conquest & people-eating and would like to subscribe to their newsletter. Can I join the other side?

Well... there's certainly some Dead Ends where you can do that!

Screw all these people and this forced quest! My MC wants to leave the group and this plot behind.

You can certainly do that. You'll die (since your MC is currently on the top of several different 'Kill on sight' lists), but you can do it.

At some point the MC will be strong enough that they can split from the group and frolic off into their own nonstandard ending adventures in the apocalyptic world while everyone else deals with the whole apocalypse plot thing. But you're nowhere near that point yet.

So the MC can die prematurely here, huh.

Yep, this game is horror-adjacent and you're being given a hundred save slots for a reason. I'll be inputting checkpoints as well once we come to that part. Hopefully Choice of Games will start allowing normal save points in the near future.

Also, please note that all the Dead Ends include clues towards the truth of what's going on here that may otherwise not be knowable, so they're not complete wastes of time. Also, they all give Achievements.

What is a Cloudcuckoolander etc?

Please see this post for all your cloudcuckoolander needs.

What is going on with the Changeling MC?

Please see this post for all your changeling needs.

OMG, what the hell is this monstrosity that is Merlin's Guide to Arthurian Lore?

We're playing Among Us/Werewolf/Mafia/etc here. You aren't getting any word-of-god lore directly from me. That'd be too easy.

All info about the One Knight Stand world will be filtered through the natural biases (and lies) of the characters involved in the game. Hence, Merlin's Guide to Arthurian Lore.

Feel free to read or ignore, as you like. (Also feel free to text Merlin back and tell them exactly what you think of that doorstop.)

So Why 'Among Us' in the description?

Obviously, it can't be officially marketed like that, but I thought that would be the most popularly recognized description for this type of situation.

I also considered using the OG Mafia or Werewolf instead, but I thought that might've confused people into thinking that there are actual gangsters and werewolves present in the game.

About those werewolves...

No comment.

Are there any guides available?

Here's a link to various guides & info posts available on the Choice of Games thread.

Escaping the Monster Under the Bed

Getting Excalibur Shards

Gaining/Avoiding Corruption

Gaining/Avoiding Fear

Gaining/Losing Purity

Gaining Magic Points | Ver. 2

Gaining Charisma Points

Mini Guide to Gaining Will Points

Full Guide to Gaining Will Points

Gaining Cloudcuckoolander Points

Potential Past Incarnations

Saving & Getting Pippa Killed | Version 2

Saving Zain

Potential Camelot Incarnations

Camelot Family Trees

Quick Guide to Sparring with Lancelot

Percy Soulmate at First Sight Guide

My save slots keep getting stuck in the Status Menu! (or any of the submenus associated with it such as Messages/Inventory/etc)

Unfortunately, that's a common problem with Dashingdon games or any games that use the smPlugin.js save system (like One Knight Stand). You can't save the game directly after checking the stats menu (or any of the submenus associated with the stats menu such as Messages, Inventory, menu). If you do, that save will be permanently stuck in the stats menu for good.

So you either have to...

Save the game before checking the stats menu

After checking the stats menu move the game forward by at least one screen before saving. That means picking an option, hitting the 'Next' button or whatever is currently available in that particular game.

I keep getting an error in the game.

Before reporting any errors, please clear your browser's cache (just the cache, not the cookies, localStorage, or any other browser data) and refresh the page.

Then, if you're loading an old save slot, check the Status Menu to make certain that your stats haven't been reset back to default (which can be caused by the data in the save slot corruption). If the Status Menu variables have reset back to their original values, you'll have to load another Save or restart from the beginning of the game).

If you're still getting an error message after trying these steps, please feel free to send in a bug report.

When will the Book Club Route be done?

When it's done. There's no set date at this point and considering the time investment (3-4 months for 150,000-175,000 words) and how burnt out I currently am with Chapter 1, it won't be anytime soon.

I will also no longer be responding to any update requests regarding the book club.

What the hell is going on with Gawain in Merlin's Guide to Arthurian Lore?

So, while I was plotting out One Knight Stand and deciding which version of Arthurian lore would be taken as the "truth" of the OKS world, I looked at Gawain and his five million wives and lovers (because if you were going to create a female OC back then, high probability she's shacking up with Gawain) and then I decided, yes, I'm going to make all of them canon.

The yandere. The other yandere. The one who dosed him with aphrodisiacs. That one who died of heartbreak because he couldn't figure out how to get back to her castle. The cursed baba yaga.

Merlin's cursed ex-lover. [insert Merlin screeching in the background about not having done any such thing] The fairy daughter of Morgana... and that other fairy... and this fairy too.

All of them.

Good luck, Gawain.

[nucleo-bang-tan]

The Uisa's Daughter | Chapter 1: Her First Love

Pairing/s: Kim Taehyung X Reader (Future Jeon Jungkook X Reader and Slight Min Yoongi X Reader)

Genre: Medieval Korea AU, Mystery, Strangers to Lovers, Angst, Smut

Rating/s: 18+ Mature Themes

Word Count: 7K

Warning/s (Don't read this if you want some suspense): Age gap (6 years, reader is younger), segregation based on caste, physical and emotional abuse, some pedophilia (an older man harasses reader since she was young), love at first sight kinda?, both of them are too horny, unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), loss of virginity, loss of innocence, some manipulation, they both say 'I love you' too soon.

Summary: In the 1700s, the Jeon Dynasty spread all across the Korean peninsula.  Happiness quadrupled with the founder Emperor's presence, or so it seemed. Secrets scattered over the palace in the capital city, Hanseong were known to none except a few.

Chapter Summary: It feels like you have met your match; for life even. But your father can never stand seeing you happy.

A/n: Hey there, don't be a silent reader, do comment under my post and spread some love.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Prologue Teaser Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Father always said, "Great power comes when you attain control over your desires and cravings."

He used to say that to stop your cravings over sweets. His lesser knowledge didn't tell him, you were not of the type to gain such control. You could never gain this....this great power how much ever you wanted to.

Your reasoning was that you were simply curious but in actuality it was the deprevation that halted you. Deprived of sensation, deprived of freedom, deprived of being included, deprived of living, deprived of loving...

No one, in that city full of aristocratic, snob-heads found what some may describe as the utmost form of desire and craving.

Love; love is still hidden from the rich and noble, from the uptight and small-minded

You've always wanted to feel this so-called feeling of love. Was it just a myth made by someone with an oppressed mind like yours? Hopefully not. You didn't know what love was but it certainly wasn't what your father gave you, not what he gave your mother either.

"You must be the uisa's daughter." A slightly aged, wrinkly woman opened the sliding door to the tremulous, raw house you had just knocked upon. "Come on in, girl. My husband has been sick for the past 5 days."

Your father had work with the King so he sent your 19-year-old self on a teeth-chattering cold night to attend to one of his patients. He may not have been a good father but he was one of the greatest doctors to ever walk the streets of Hanseong.

Winds flurried across the empty farmlands in the surrounding making you rush inside the compact yet warm house.

Sacks full of what seemed like potatoes welcomed you by the doorstep followed by sacks of other vegetables. The stove was occupied by a pot of stew. The sick man and his family sold vegetables at the local market.

You realized that your father didn't want to attend to this patient because he was a Kim of the lowest caste, Cheonmin.

Your trail of sight landed upon a person, supposedly Mr. Kim, wrapped up in torn sheets. "Please take a look at him." His poor wife asked.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"He seems to have caught cholera. It's nothing to worry about, he'll be fine in no time." You gave out your diagnose along with a few medicines from your bundle.

Mrs. Kim seemed to be panicking, "Oh dear, it seems I can't find my money." She smiled nervously. "Would it b-"

"Mother, I heard the doctor arrived." The door hastily slid open revealing a disheveled man.

It was him, the man who was going to change your life for good. The man whom you didn't know would be the reason for both of your ruination. He was nothing you'd seen before.

His forehead shiny with sweat, long hair, all messed up, probably because of him rushing over, yet he looked like the most beautiful man you had ever seen. Molded to perfection, his face was something you get framed.

His eyes were full of concern and disturbance. His lips were slightly parted and he stood there silently and your eyes met.

You could feel something between you two, as if you were two magnets attracting each other. You couldn't help but stare at him. He was so handsome that it took your breath away. You had to resist an urge to get up and reach out to him then and there, touch him and feel his skin under your fingertips.

"Taehyung, yes! Where were you?! Dear, did you take my money kept near the cupboard?" Mrs. Kim was infuriated at the man named Taehyung. "Please give the uisa 2 silver coins, I'll have a talk with you later." She scurried to him while you still stared at each other, his eyes boring holes into yours and face being almost excited to see you.

"I see, and what might be your name?" He asked you.

"Y/n." You replied, "As for the money, I don't mind providing free treatment. I basically did nothing-"

"I insist; that's all we can give you." The man standing at the doorstep walked over to where you were sitting on the ground.

"Oh, it's fine." You smiled despite the growing tension between the both of you.

Taehyung, the obscure man in front of me smiled and sat down to bow. "I promise I'll keep your favor in mind and help you." His formal words seemed unnecessary between the two of you.

"Thank you... Taehyung." He could easily say his ears were blessed.

He dropped you home that night. Awkward was the least proper word to describe you two. You couldn't help but talk naturally and freely to him. You both talked about how beautiful the night was before you arrived at your destination and you asked him to leave you a few houses before your own so as to not raise any suspicions from your family.

His moonlighten face looked mesmerizing as he looked down at you and smiled. "It was an honor meeting you, Kim Y/n." He bowed.

"Same here, Kim Taehyung." You took a step closer to him. "I hope to see you again." You wrapped your arms around his neck tightly for a quick second and let go. The urge to touch him had been running through you this entire night. Though you wanted more, this was more than enough for now. Luckily there wasn't a single soul around at this time of the night.

He stood speechless for some seconds, looking straight into your eyes, making you blush. It's not like a woman hadn't hugged him before, it was different with you for some reason.

You looked off into a different direction, "I-I know we have met just an hour ago. But I can't-" You were cut off by him encasing your waist with one of his arms. The other one held you gently by your chin.

"I know, this may be going too fast, but I fairly do not care." Saying this, his lips ghosted over yours, waiting for your permission. Not hesitant at all, you gladly accepted and closed the minute gap between your lips.

It was merely a few seconds before you two pulled away simultaneously.

"Thank you..." You whispered for some reason. It wasn't Taehyung's first time, but it was clearly the weirdest and the most memorable one.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Isn't that lovely? The vermins owe us a favor." He laughed as you trembled.

"Father, t-they were necessitous. I couldn't possibly ask them for mon-"

"And how would I pay for your expensive clothings, dear? For your food? For our servants?" He scoffed.

"Father..."

"No excuses!" He shouted making you flinch "You need a good whipping."

"I'm so sorry, father. It's just two silver coins." Your trembling knew no bound as you tried to back away from his resting place. You used your hands to drag yourself backwards away from your seat as he stood up with a mud tea cup in his hands.

A fairly loud crash was heard besides you and drops of hot liquid splattered across the floor as well as on you. It was his cup that he threw at you with anger.

"Just two silver coins? I see." His words held no anger, they were just words, heavy words. Words scaring you more than the cold, chilly night because you knew he could hurt you anytime.

"Father I promise, I'll do anything. Please, father." You joined your hands.

"Look at you, so desperate... I'll let you off with a warning this time. You're lucky today, no whipping for you." He spoke as if he didn't nearly kill you.

You thanked your stars, or whatever guardian angel you had for he was in a good mood.

"If you dare to disobey my rules again."

"I know..." You whispered loud enough for him to hear. Ofcourse you knew, this was not the first time.

He smiled like a saint and spread out his arms, "Now give your father a hug, honey. I love you."

Slowly and being disgusted in the sorry excuse of what's supposed to be a man, you hugged him. He was still your father. "I love you too."

He slimy hands gradually went to your head to pat you as you tried to stop your tears from falling. "You are to come with me tomorrow to King Jeon." You nodded.

You were usuals to the King's courtroom even when you were a kid. Your father was his closest advisor. However you never felt comfortable when the King wanted to meet you outside of public's eye.

Unnecessary touches, and even more unnecessary things he made you do. He insisted he loved your cooking, your treatments and meeting you in general. You were honoured indeed but felt repelled since it was a 50 year old man you were talking about.

What was this life you were living?

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"And about Y/n..." You were snapped back to reality by the mention of your name. You were deep in your own thoughts, skimming your eyes over each title of the books held by the shelves. The shelves along with their inked treasures adored the quiet room. Quiet with the only exception being the voices of King Jeon and your father.

You thought about the poor farmer's son. Would he like to read, or rather, would he know how to read the Chinese scriptures? You had no idea why he clouded your mind like so, but you certainly weren't against it.

You had never had a love interest, you never found one brave enough to even talk to you. Giving up on love, you had always assumed you'd have an arranged marriage until the man you had kissed a few days ago came into your life.

"What about her?" Your pretentious father asked.

Both of you along with King Jeon were sitting in the castle's study talking about something that you didn't even bother sparing your attention to.

You preferred being in your own thoughts rather than listening to the elders' talks about the world. They surely knew more than you, and it wasn't bothersome.

"I expect a gift from you Y/n-ssi" King Jeon stated clearly.

"A g-gift? I don't understand."

Both of the older men laughed at your naivety and King Jeon placed a hand around your shoulder which distinctly made you uncomfortable.

"You weren't listening, were you?" He asked. "What were you thinking about girl?"

You thought of the only thing that interested you here, "The books here, in the study. I've never even heard about them." Books especially related to medicine interested you. You played the part of a cliché doctor in training.

"Jeon's birthday gift, dear."

"I expect a really special dish from you in a few months." He smirked, "Cook for me."

You had no idea what the smirk signified, but it clearly didn't mean good luck to you. You smiled nervously which the King found extremely endearing, extremely enchanting. Oh, how he wished he could kill your measly father and make you his personal concubine, maybe even his Queen.

The King's first wife died around 4 years ago and ever since then, the King couldn't have been happier. He could sleep with all the women he wanted without being pointed fingers at. The kingdom's people, who thought richly of the King, supposed he was drowning himself in other women to ease the pain of his loss.

What no one, except his Chief advisor, Eunuch Kang, didn't know was his eyes were set on a much bigger and harder-to-catch fish. The metaphoric fish being you. One fine day, before the time of his Queen's death, you along with your father had come to visit him. Seeing how well you had matured through the years, he couldn't keep his eyes or hands off of you. Making you sit on his lap was just an excuse to feel you better.

People in his courtroom saw and objected after you went back home. But those who did, found their heads laying on the floor. They committed treason, hence they died; was what he told their families.

Your father however never dared to speak up. He wanted to be in people's good books more than he cared for you. This helped you more than you could think. He had a good reputation and in return, the King could not kill him without a proper reason.

Ever since that day the King has secretly tried to find reasons to execute him. Eunuch Kang who was in charge of this failed to find any such reason for more than 5 straight years.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Ms Y/n!" Your cook called out to you. You were headed outside the mansion lands to a place only you knew about.

"Yes, Mr. Jung?" You smiled. You knew such formalities were only for others' eyes.

Jung Hoseok, a young yet talented cook, had been with you since you were born. He worked meticulously from his childhood.

Being around a decade older than you, he was given the responsibility to look after you as well as head the staff of Kim household. He was appointed by your father's friend, the King.

"Are you headed out?" He asked and you nodded cheekily.

"I'm going to that placeee."

He showed clear distaste towards your act of cuteness even though he possibly found it adorable. "Find yourself some use. Go and bring some vegetables for the kitchen. You are to cook for the king remember?"

"But I don't want to..." You pouted, "The King should have better cooks than me, I am no one compared to them."

"It's what the King decides, not you. Now go."

"Hoseok-ssi."

"What is it?"

"I don't like the King." His face contorted into a disappointed look. He looked around to make sure no one heard you and was glad no one did.

"Y/n, you are a grown woman, stop jesting around."

"I'm serious, Hoseok-ssi. The King seems far too friendly for my liking."

"Aish- Shut up, Y/n. I will not hear of it. King Jeon is a very kind man and he has saved us from many external and internal forces. I will not hear anything against him." He said, "Neither will anyone else, so make sure you don't tell this to anyone."

You nodded, poking your tongue out, still not changing your thinking about him. He turned around to leave after shaking his head.

"Hobi is mean." You muttered.

"I heard that, kid!"

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"I'm not sure if I have anything special." The vegetable seller smiled nervously. "You can take back some eggplants for the special meal but I'm not sure where you might find them."

This was the first time you heard about them. Being an educated person, it hurt your ego and now you were determined to find them.

"It's alright, sir. I'll search for them." You smiled and headed deeper into the market. The crowd grew denser and the shops became more heavily loaded. Asking every vendor about these 'eggplants'.

"Take a right after about 20 steps, dear." An old female vendor advised. And you followed.

The shop was revealed to be of the Cheonmin Kim's, the one you had treated a few days ago. How will they, out of all people have such an advanced (it's new to her) vegetable?

You gulped, it was the son, Taehyung chewing away at some dried sea weed, and his healthy father talking to another seller nearby. Their shop looked as if it hadn't been visited by anyone all morning, the vegetables still fresh in their places, the man fooling around on his seat.

You slowly walked over, Taehyung still being oblivious to your presence until you cleared your throat. Before seeing who it was and stumbling to stand up straight, he almost looked uninterested. He dropped a few tomatoes by such shuffling.

He held a bright smile on his face and bowed almost hitting his head on the table full of produce. You followed suit giggling at his display of clumsiness.

Still bright as ever and still as handsome as the first day you saw him, he greeted, "H-Hello, how are you holding up, Ms. Kim?" He shook his head and corrected himself, "Sorry, Y/n."

"I am doing just fine, Taehyung-ssi." You turned your head towards his father, "I see your old man is doing good."

He nodded, "All thanks to you. I still have that favor to return."

It was unshrouded, the chemistry between you two was almost visible to the naked eye. Was it just an attraction that you had towards this perfect example of a man or was it something else? You'll admit it, it was the second time you barely met him, and you want more of him, so much more.

You both stared at each other for a good minute before you spoke, "I-uh- wanted some vegetables." You even forgot the name of the exquisite one, the seller had told you about.

"Sure, anything you want." He gestured his hands over the produce lying on the cart table.

"Eggplant I suppose?" You asked innocently. "I wanted an eggplant, a big one."

Taehyung was sure your virgin words didn't insinuate something else. He looked around his stall and said, "Y/n, I don't believe I have any eggplants here. We'll have to go back to my house to look for some. Would you mind?"

You didn't have any patients to look after today neither did anyone care where you went during the day, plus you get to spend time with Taehyung, you don't see a downside to this. So you agree.

As soon as you do, the cheerful man in front of you took your hand and lead you across the puzzled roads of the market.

"Taehyung-ssi! Don't hold my hand like that!" You exclaimed as he dragged you with him. The people looked at the young couple as if they might pop out fangs anytime.

"People are just looking, they won't do anything. Trust me." and you did for no apparent reason. You trusted him with everything you had. But a part of you called out and asked you how he knew all this, how he was so confident when he kissed you. Had he done this before?

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"I thought your mother would be home." You enquired as you looked at the 25 year old trying to close the heavy wooden door after you asked him to. He barely had any neighbors but the ones he had, you didn't want them snooping around in your business.

"She's at the farm." He replied brightly. There was this thing about him, he looked so stern when he didn't talk to you but when he did, he was the most fun person you had ever seen.

As soon as he closed the door, he hugged you and you dropped your little bag of groceries at his actions. "I've missed you." Yes, you did too.

"Why?" You asked even though you knew better than anyone else. He had kissed you, an act hardly performed by actual lovers. There was no way to get him out of your mind after that.

If anyone knew you had did something of sorts you'd be ridiculed for your entire lifetime. But you didn't regret it at all.

"Maybe because I have never seen someone as beautiful as you." Softly touching your face like you were a raw sculpture, "And I think my mind is heading to a sinful place with you and there's no stop in sight."

You smiled softly, "We don't even know each other..."

"But you trust me right?" He whispered.

"Unfortunately, I do." Making you both laugh softly.

"Let me court you then." He said biting his lip, indicating his nervousness.

What was this man talking about? A woman of your status and a man of his caste shouldn't even mingle with each other, let alone do what you two did that night.

Your father, the public, the Emperor would all prefer you both dead over that happening.

However, Taehyung didn't care. He hated the caste system. 'Only the insecure and afraid would make such a thing up.' He often said.

You wanted Taehyung to love you, you wanted him to know how much you craved for someone, him to be precise, to come into your life and destroy you completely with their love.

You were thinking clearly when you said, "I would love that."

To say Taehyung was happy, would be an understatement. He wanted you; call it lust, call it desire, but it was a form of his love.

"Then you wouldn't mind if I did this..." He said before swiftly untying the front of your hanbok making you gasp and pull out of his embrace.

"What are you doing?" You scrambled trying to re-tie the knot.

"I thought you said you trust me." He smirked, pushing the outer layer of coat off of your shoulders before you could react.

"Taehyung!"

"You trust me right? Let me help you." His words struck you. Help you? How?

"Help me with what?" You stand still as he pulls you out of the coat and discards it onto the ground.

"I know what it's like being a 19 year old. Heck, I still know what it feels like. Being so alone, everyone hates you, you hate everyone. I know how you crave love. Let me give it to you."

How could he possibly know? "I don't wish for love." You state.

"Tsk, you can lie all you want, but I can see it written boldly in your eyes, those beautiful eyes."

You could say no and put a stop to his madness. But the look he gave you, that look that made you want to let loose and give in to his madness. He clearly wanted your body and this was his way of getting it, but how could you possibly deny it when you wanted the same at some point.

You gulped, "If I agree to whatever you're doing? Will you promise no one, not even your parents or your friends, find out?"

You weren't afraid of giving him anything, you were only afraid of what your father might do if he found out. He would beat you, whip you for sure but he would hire men to kill Taehyung.

"It's sex, so call it that, baby. And I am willing to promise the world to you if you just say yes."

"Taehyung, I don't care what happens to me, but I would rather be dead than have anything happen to you."

"Take risks, live a little uisa-nim."

You never took risks. When your father let you out of the house, you never lost your track, always going the way he asked you to go. You never dared to look at a man how much ever you wanted to.

Taehyung though, lured you in. He was a mere Cheonmin but yet he had more life than an upper class man. He had more potential, more everything.

At this moment, you couldn't help but agree. You would never do this if it were anyone else, but it was Taehyung, the man who kissed you on the first day you met.

"My body is what you want, and my body is what you shall get." You take a deep breath and pull him by his hanbok before he could reply and plant a kiss on his lips.

Taehyung wasn't the one to stop kissing your soft lips and correct you that he, in fact didn't wish for your body. He wished for your love, he wished that you craved him the same way he craved you.

You clearly had no experience nor had you ever seen how to kiss someone properly so you didn't move at all expecting this was all you needed to do to kiss.

This turned him on however. Having to teach you everything and molding you into whatever he pleased from a girl.

He pulled back, "That's not how you do it." He let out an arrogant chuckle. "Just go with your instincts and fight with my lips, devour them."

Saying that he placed his lips on yours once again this time meeting with a much warmer welcome from your mouth.

"You're a- fast learner-" He said between the kisses.

It was when he brought in his tongue, you were surprised. However you decided to fight with yours as well.

Your hands entangled into his long hair. He tapped your thigh and signalled you to jump. You trusted him and did as he asked and clinged onto him for dear life.

Oh, how you yearned for more. Conflicting your tongues wasn't enough, you needed his entire body.

Both of you were moaning, Taehyung's deep voice getting you wetter by the second.

Taehyung couldn't possibly get harder than how he was now. He tasted every last inch of your mouth while moving both of your intertwined selves to a room.

Breaking the kiss, he said, "Let me place a blanket here, it's going to get messy. Wouldn't want the floor to get all dirtied up by you." That made you blush more than any suitor ever had.

He gently let you down and arranged the blanket. Adjusting it's corners, he patted on it for you to lay.

"I'm scared." You finally said as he was removing his clothings.

Pausing slightly, he smiled, "You don't have to do this. I won't be upset."

"I'm scared but I want this. I want you."

"Are you sure about that, princess?" He pulled down his pants revealing a very hard dick, almost slapping onto his abdomen.

"Th-that's..." Big, was the right word for it.

Now, you were a doctor in training and you knew how sex worked and how certain body parts looked like. But you had never in your years of study seen or imagined a penis so big.

"Do you not like it?" He mocked wiggling it around a bit making you snicker.

"No, it's just- it's big..." He was almost estatic at your words.

Taehyung was completely naked at this point while you still had your undergarments on. He helped you remove the one surrounding your breasts.

Your boobs fell into his hands with a bounce. It was like he malfunctioned, staring at them for a quick minute before licking his lips and diving in.

You had never felt this before. Your fingers found their way into his hair once again.

"You're so fucking perfect." He said licking one of your nipples and softly biting onto it.

"T-Tae..." You practically shed tears at the feeling.

He moved between your neck and your breasts, kissing and marking up wherever he felt like it. It was a vice, you were a vice to him.

It felt so good, however you needed friction somewhere else as well.

You started rubbing your legs together and it didn't go unnoticed by him.

"Mmm, I know baby, you need me there?"

You replied with a shaky yes.

Leaving your boobs, his hand travelled downwards and into your lower undergarment.

As soon as his cold, long fingers pressed onto your clit, you let out a high pitched moan.

"Have you ever touched yourself?" He asked.

"I've tried it sometimes but never finished." You said weakly.

Taehyung was beyond the limit of hardness at the moment. He had no idea he would be so turned on by a girl so inexperienced. The things he would do to you in the future were boundless.

His hand worked on your clit while his mouth worked on your boobs. You were a moaning mess at this point. Taehyung gave you what you wanted and more.

He licked a long strip from your chest to your lips, kissing you with utmost passion. You were so addictive, all he wanted was to taste every single part of you.

He finally discarded your lower undergarment.

Dragging his fingers from your clit to your core, he slowly entered one finger. You let out a loud whimper.

"It's so tight, baby. How am I going to fit in there? I can't even fit my fingers." He showed fake concern.

You didn't even care at this point, you wanted him deeper in you.

He added another finger that stretched you out. Trying his best to loosen you up for his big dick, he started a scissoring motion with his fingers.

You tried your best to hold back your moans but his fingers felt so good, you're sure the neighbours heard you. He didn't care, it only added to his ego.

He shuffled down and dragged his lips along your body, down your clit all the way to your core. He wanted, needed to taste you so bad, he couldn't resist anymore.

He licked the slick dripping down your thighs because he didn't want any to go to waste.

He was extremely skillful with his tongue, delving expertly within your folds, bringing you near to the edge as soon as he begun. Holding your hips down, he continued.

"Tae, I think- I'm coming"

"Come on, you can do it." Taehyung could hardly believe he was the one to experience your first orgasm.

His hands reached up to twist and fondle your boobs.

Seeing his head of hair digging into your cunt for a taste had you coming in just seconds.

He licked every last drop of your wetness. When he finished, his head popped up with a smug look on his face.

"You have no idea how heavenly you taste." He said locking lips with you once again making you taste yourself. You did taste nice.

"I want to make you feel good too." You said.

"Not today" He said dragging his tip across your folds. "Today I wish to be directly inside you."

His little action made your cunt gush with juices.

"Are you scared, baby?"

"Yeah, but go ahead."

"This is going to hurt a lot. But you'll take it right? For me?" You nod as he leaned down and placed his lips on your forehead. A very intimate gesture that had you falling for him right in the moment.

Now you were very scared. Did you fall for a man you met a few days ago? Not to mention you're in a very vulnerable position with him as well.

Your innocent mind didn't know any better. What you thought was love, was just mere attraction at the moment which turned to love eventually.

"Tae- fuck" He pushed his tip inside.

"Are you okay?"

"Just go- slow" you squirmed.

He pulled out and pushed in once again this time going halfway in.

"It hurts..." You started sheding tears. Taehyung hated seeing you like this. Ofcourse he would have loved to see you cry, but from pleasure.

"We can sto-"

"You can go deeper now..."

He did as you said and bottomed out. Taehyung blamed his stupidly huge dick for making you cry.

He wiped your tears and placed his forehead against yours.

"You can tell me when to move, I'll be still until you tell me to."

It took you at least a minute or two to adjust and accommodate his length. The man on top of you aided by kissing you deeply through every second of it. You began to move the slightest bit on your own making Taehyung hiss.

"Shall I?" He was still patient, waiting for you to utter the words.

"Please, move." You let out.

Taehyung finally let go of the breath he didn't know he was retaining. He had to remind himself multiple times that he was your first, it pained you.

'Not yet.' He said to himself, referring to the fact that he couldn't fuck you as roughly as a pleased.

His thrusts were unhurried yet firm. So firm that it made your back arch at how deep his cock went.

You couldn't help but moan, in fact that was all you could do. Pleasure overtook your senses and you were at Taehyung's mercy.

He intertwined his fingers with yours on either side of your head, "So good for me, so tight."

"Faster!"

"Yeah? Want me to go faster? Such a little slut."

You were surprised at what you heard. You wanted to defend yourself, you were far from a slut and you were sure Taehyung knew that. Oh, but it turned you on so good. Him degrading you like that, him making you feel humiliated.

Taehyung must have sensed the effect it had on you, how could he not? You moaned the loudest when he said that.

"So wet, baby. I bet all the guys would love your little pussy, wouldn't they?"

"Want- only you." You somehow vocalised.

He loved it so much, the effect he had on you.

"Need to train you to become my personal sleeve, am I right?"

"Fuck, I can't-" You knew this feeling, you were coming.

He picked up the pace, hitting your sweet spot repeatedly. The scene itself was too explicit. Had anyone seen it, it would have been too entralling.

"Come on." He punctuated his words with his thrusts.

You let out a moan of his name and reached your high.

Taehyung's pace stuttered, an indication of him reaching his high as well. He realised, much to his dismay, he couldn't cum inside of you. He halted to pull out.

"No! You can let go inside of me."

"But, you'll-"

"I am a doctor in training, I have some herbs that can work." You smirked.

He chuckled, "Someone's being a little too smart."

He resumed his thrusts. After a few of them, he came. The feeling was really euphoric. Having the one you had feelings for, let his semen coat your insides.

He pulled out and laid beside you. Both of you faced each other; low on energy but high on love.

Taehyung lifted his hand up, tracing the apple of your cheek ever so slightly making you smile.

He spoke first, "That was..."

"I know, I don't have words for it either."

"Can I tell you something crazy?" He asked pulling you to lay on top of him.

"Ofcourse, what is it?"

"I think I am madly in love with you."

You looked into his eyes, slightly glossy from the overwhelming feelings he had for you.

"What do you mean?" You ask in almost a whisper.

"I know it's been just a few days, but I feel like I have known you for years. Like, your favourite colour is probably blue."

You giggle, "It's not, but go on."

"Then I want to know you better, Kim Y/N. What do you say?"

"Thank you for making me feel, Kim Taehyung." You bury your face into his chest. "This is the first time anyone has had feelings for me, let alone loved me. I never had feelings either, but you are something else."

You look up at him, "I think I'm in love with you too."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

He had become your only beacon of hope. Your only little support while you were drowning. What happens when a human is given that? He clings onto it as fast as he can, as tightly as he can.

It had been 5 months since you first met Taehyung. 5 months full of exploring and adventures. It would be proper to say that you never would have guessed you got this close to someone.

You'd spend hours on end with him, until it was finally time to go home before the sunset.

You had introduced him to your special spot. A small, secluded clearing in a forest beside a lake. You had stumbled upon it when you were barely a teenager. No one except Hoseok and now Taehyung knew about it.

"What are you thinking about?" The man whose arms engulfed you asked.

Taehyung was leaning against a tree while you sat between his legs leaned against his chest.

"About the day when the Emperor was practically fuming when I said I couldn't prepare a dish for him on his birthday."

Taehyung twirled a strand of your hair with his index finger and laughed, "I wish I were there to see it."

"I hate him so, so much."

"Yeah, I hope to punch him in the face someday for what he did to you all these years."

"I love you..." You cozied yourself deeper into his arms.

"Love you too."

The talks from the noble and humble alike were spreading. No one fancied the way you, an unmarried aristocrat girl, spent time with a Cheonmin. Certainly, they couldn't see what you did behind closed doors, but you found yourself afraid of what they might do if they did.

Taehyung didn't care and asked you to do so as well. But how could you? When your father continued to beat the life out of you, even more so now that the talks flew around.

You couldn't mention it to your lover because it would have very obvious yet perilous consequences. So you had to feign that everything was alright.

That is why, whenever he asked you where you got a certain bruise from, you would reply with a simple, 'Oh, this? I fell.' or any other falsified answer you could think of.

Every day Taehyung walked you home, or sometimes even carried you just to the edge of the forest. And you were once again back to your oppressive household without anyone to share your sorrows with.

But this day was different. He walked with you till you were a few houses away from your own, you parted ways and you walked back alone to your house, or rather, you thought you'd be alone.

A voice came from behind you, "Good evening, young lady." You almost jumped at how close the man was to your ear and how you didn't hear him coming to this proximity.

The man in question looked much older than you, almost as old as Hoseok. This person was certainly here to bother you and you definitely weren't down for it.

You let out a nervous laughter, "Oh, good evening." And walked forward without sparing him a second glance.

"Don't be so rude now, I am here to speak with you." He caught up to your hurried pace.

"I am sorry but I don't suppose I would be of any use to you." A myriad of questions arose in your mind. Who was he? Was he here to have his way with you? You had heard from Taehyung, what men possibly thought of you; and it certainly wasn't pure.

"Ah, see that's where you are wrong." He said in a false vile tone, "You are very useful to me."

You turned around completely appalled, "That is no way to talk to someone, a lady in particular. I could be of use to you after you have spoken with my father."

"Who is the lady here? I see a girl, no, a kitten."

Not having much time to spare, as your father would quite literally kill you for being outside after dark, you said, "Sir, I am no kitten, but I am not one to argue with you. Good day." Saying this hopefully deterred him enough to not pursue you anymore.

And it did work, he didn't follow you after that, or rather, again, you thought he wouldn't follow you.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"How was your day, father?" You asked setting his footwear aside and welcoming him.

"Well, the funniest thing happened today. A master brought in his slave for treatment." He laughed. Ofcourse, he wouldn't give his services to anyone lower than the nobles and the occasional palace workers.

Your mother reciprocated his laughter with her own, "You should have told your assistant to not let them in." The two of them joked further while the kitchen staff served them dinner. You sat down on the floor beside your father fidgeting and looking down at your fingers on your lap.

It annoyed you, like something that constantly pricked you deep within. It was the way not just your parents, but the majority of people spoke about the lower and less fortunate.

"Isn't it funny, my daughter? Why are you not laughing?" He asked. You had been over this before. You would ask him not to speak about the lower castes this way and in return he would starve you for the night.

"It's just that..."

"What is it?" He asked in a stern voice. "Speak up!"

"I-I don't like your words. I don't like the way you talk about them." You shut your eyes fully expecting a smack right across your face.

But it never came. Neither did your father's anger.

Instead he laughed.

"Is that so? My dear, do you know what that slave said to me?" He asked. You were stunned and confused to say anything.

"He said, 'You don't mind your daughter sleeping with that Kim boy, but you refuse to treat me?'"

You began to grow even more confused as you looked at the servants setting up another plate of food on a small table similar to yours and your parents'.

"You know Jeon called me to his palace today. He has heard the rumours as well."

A man with cold feline eyes and his forehead covered with his messy yet well-maintained bangs walked into the room. He held a scowl on his face as he sat down at the table in front of yours.

Your eyes widened. It was the same person who had bothered you earlier that day.

"Father, what's going on?" You asked partially getting up from your little table.

But your father simply completed his previous statement, "So, he sent his finest to keep an eye on you."

"What do you mean?"

"Meet Min Yoongi."

[atlasdoe]

In case you're wondering how much time I have on my hands right now

I am currently writing a Google Doc that lists every Marauders era character ever.

From the people who were in their seventh year when the Marauders started Hogwarts to the people who were in their first year when the Marauders left Hogwarts, including a number of parents (all of the cannon ones at least and some that I find important) and some adults that would appear in their lives

All because I am currently writing a series of one-shots that take place in the marauder's era and I need these bitches all organised and in a list cause when they’re all floating around in my head I keep losing them

 I currently have 84 characters listed and along with that 23596 words of everything we know about each of them in canon. I will eventually also add my own headcanons and my own ocs that I have

I may share the link when I’m done if anyone is interested. Hopefully, if I do it will encourage people to include the lesser known characters in their own interpretation of the era 

[slveepyscwrs]

You want ACTUALLY obscure ship dynamics inspired by small fandoms WITH prompts for each of them to help you write? I got you bestie:

I get the frustration. You want to explore a new ship dynamic to practice your romance writing skills, but you can't find anything aside from the same old.

If that sounds like something you struggle with, here are some ship dynamics that are criminally underused because I've either seen it in a fandom that's teeny-tiny, or I thought of them myself and I haven't been able to see it anywhere.

(Disclaimer: Some of these MIGHT be slightly popular already, so don't go saying "erm actually I've already seen this trope used a bunch of times." I'm not saying that these ideas haven't been used at all, I'm just saying that their popularity is very less compared to some other tropes. I'm also not trying to judge anyone who likes popular tropes.)

Be sure to tag me if you use any of the prompts included here!

Teacher x Teacher. Blame Mr. Ajayi x Mr. Farouk from Heartstopper for my obsession with this. I know, Heartstopper itself isn't a small fandom, but this shipping trope is. Student x Student has already been done a gazillion times. Student x Teacher... uh... not everyone's cup of tea. Teacher x Teacher has a lot of opportunities for fluff and angst, and is also good practice for writing older characters.

(+ Bonus Points if the students notice and try to get them together and/or just sit there confused because how the hell did we get here?)

Prompt Ideas:

"It's 10:00 P.M., and you're still grading tests? Nope, I'll handle them, and you need to go home and rest."

"This is the third time this week that you've been crying in the teacher's lounge. That's it, tell me the names of the kids that I need to give a piece of my mind and extra homework to."

2. Childhood Enemies to Lovers. Before you say, "Wouldn't that just count as enemies to lovers?," the vast majority of enemies to lovers that I've seen involve A and B meeting when they're already teens/young adults.

We love childhood friends to lovers. We love enemies to lovers. Why not have both?

The media that I got this trope from is a BL drama called "We Best Love." If I gushed about how much I love this series and how it lives rent-free in my head, this post would last forever.

(+ Bonus Points If they realise that they never really actually hated each other, it was just a silent lie they were telling each other throughout their childhood.)

Prompt Ideas:

"You couldn't even let me have the slide for five seconds when we were kids. Why are you doing all this for me only now?"

"Wait, don't tell me you're still holding grudges from when we were literally in diapers?"

3. Okay guys today we've gathered to come up with a plan to get these two gosh darn idiots together. I don't really know how to describe it other than that. I also don't recall seeing it any of my fandoms, mostly from my OC stories.

However, I don't know if it's just me, but I LOVE seeing the ship's friends getting involved in having the ship sail successfully. We Stan supportive friends, and the comedy that comes with such situations is a surefire way to keep readers hooked.

(+Bonus Points if two of the friends slowly realise their feelings for each other WHILE doing their shenanigans to try and get the main ship together. Extra Chaos.)

Prompt Ideas:

"What are you suddenly doing here?" "[Friend] sent me." "That's weird, [Friend] sent me too." "Wait..."

"You're telling me that they still didn't realise they have feelings for each other? Ugh, fine, I guess it's time for Plan B..."

I have a lot more of these, but this post is getting too long. If you want to hear more about lesser known tropes, please show some love to this post!

Love,

Your Gay Writing Bestie

[the-illiterate-pirate]

No Rest for the Wicked (Villain AU La Squadra)

WARNING: Series focuses on some dark content, such as murder and torture, yandere characters, stalking, kidnapping, and may contain nsfw writing and dubious consent

The hero association "Passione" takes pride in protecting Italy and it's citizens. From the everyday purse thief, to carjackers... To the underbelly of Italy's society of villains with their arrays of dangerous powers and abilities. But with such strong super heros like Golden Experience and Napoli's own Sticky Fingers, surely you'll be safe.

Right?

Hello! Hi! Welcome to my Super Villain LS AU! V excited to finally post this because the idea has been molding in the back of my brain for a good year now. Each member will get multiple chapters for their own stories, maybe even mixing together every once in a while, I'm not sure when I'll be able to officially start posting any of them but in the meantime PLEASE ask me questions about this au if you're interested. Especially if it has anything to do with outfits and costumes because that's my favorite part hehe. *Au won't include Sorbet and Gelato x Reader but they do make their appearances!

File: Somebody's Leavin’

Alias: Little Feat

Formaggio, originally the low fame superhero "Little Feat" has only recently turned to a life of crime, but proves to be a formidable foe. This change now allows him to use his abilities to their fullest extent. With a single scratch, Formaggio is allowed to shrink any living being at will, along with manipulating the size of inanimate objects as well. With a mix of these abilities as well as hand to hand combat, Little Feat originally scouted lesser populated areas and dealt with lesser threats such as purse snatches and bank heists. Now, Formaggio uses these abilities without consequence, reaping chaos. Around this same time, a missing persons case has opened up. The disappearance includes a barista working at a popular cafe in the city Little Feat used to protect. Coincidence? Still unsure.

File: Somebody's Watching Me

Alias: Man in the Mirror

People have reported seeing faces in the reflections of their homes. When called in for police sketching, all reports include a very similar man for each victim. Well built, with fair skin and dark hair, with goggles and his lower face hidden behind a beak shaped mask. He has been titled "The Man in the Mirror", otherwise known as Illuso. Most people that have been visited by the man have stated finding his "calling card" within the frames of their mirrors. These people have wound up dead. The Man in the Mirror seems to only attack the rich and those in power, so citizens who have seen him are asked to stay calm, but alert public authority immediately.

File: Happy Together

Alias: Beach Boy

Pesci is stated to be a freshly turned villain, but despite his late start proves to be difficult to challenge as he's been found shadowing the villain "Grateful Dead", a formidable evil that has been terrorizing Italy for some time now. Though his abilities are ideally for tracking, Pesci makes up for it with brute strength and his incredible size. Studies report that not a single casualty has happened during brushes with Beach Boy, but the same can't be said for the future. It's only a matter of time for the brute to turn away from his humanity and officially become one with the super villain underground.

File: Vermillion

Alias: Grateful Dead

Prosciutto, otherwise known as "Grateful Dead", is a well known and quite popular villain. Despite his title, women and men alike fold at the knee due to his charming appearance and suave personality. Prosciutto doesn't like to get his hands dirty, but will do what the job needs him to. He mainly focuses on the gambling scene and a chain of bars and sultry clubs. His abilities are lesser known, and are quite confusing to understand how they work, but it's easy enough to say if a contract of his doesn't end with a bullet in the head, they're rotting into the dirt instead.

File: Crimewave

Alias: Babyface

Babyface rarely leaves the villains compound, and when he does it's almost always for business. He goes under the alias "Melone" and owns a booming unisex cosmetics line titled "Molto Dolce Productions", enjoyed by men and women and everyone else from all ages as his makeups and serums are vegan friendly and animal cruelty free. As Babyface, he prides himself with a remote controlled army of handmade robots who do his biding for him. His so called "children" range from entirely metallic suits and grotesque cyborg abominations. He lives in a laboratory underground and spends most of his time creating life.

File: Love is like Oxygen

Alias: Gently Weeps

Ghiaccio never wanted to become a villain, but was born into the life of crime. Abandoned by his own family, he stole to survive, he cheated people out of money and food, and at the crisp age of seventeen Ghiaccio was officially brought into the villain hierarchy. In his years of work he's rose through the ranks and has become the villain known as Gently Weeps, and uses cryokinesis. Under a fake name he pretends to be a citizen, walking among Italy's streets, trying to live a normal life as best as he can, finishing school and even joining a gym to help with his icy temper.

File: Enter Sandman

Alias: Metallica

Not much is known about him, as Metallica keeps to the shadows and has never been seen by the naked eye. He lives only to kill, every murder happening in the dead of night. Not a sound to be heard, save the faint jingle of a bell. They say before you die at his hands, you're stared down by the blood red eyes of the devil himself. Each contract dead at his hands are found with their throat cut open, and a pair of bloody scissors settled on their chest.

[sweetsmellosuccess]

Deadpool & Wolverine

Dir. Shawn Levy

Early on in Shawn Levy's tumultuous MCU action flick, Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds, as always) starts casually referring to himself as the "Marvel Jesus." Sardonic blasphemes aside, the joke works because, in a sense, it's so achingly true. The MCU has been in a tight, downward death spiral ever since the scintillating crescendo of the early phase films, Avengers: Endgame, flailing around, attempting to reset the audience meter with the next batch of characters, lesser known, and given much less coherent storylines. In true Disney fashion, the MCU has been bleeding itself dry, with a neverending cavalcade of "content," via movies and TV shows, with ever more dwindling results. 

The dismal apex of the second wave of MCU faire came last year, Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, which was as thoroughly soulless and badly constructed as an outhouse made out of Fritos. Shrill, incoherent, and filled with half-assed CGI effects that felt nearly insulting, the movie got trounced by audiences and critics alike (finally, some agreement!), and left the MCU to hole up and nurse its wounds, especially after the utter failure of last December's The Marvels (a superior film to Quantumania, but with even worse box office results). 

It's no secret the MCU has been in decline, spreading itself far too thin, and producing inferior work in the process. This year, Marvel has sagely decided to back off the endless churn of new releases, instead focusing their efforts on one release in calendar year 2024, which also just so happens to be a) The introduction of Deadpool (formerly a Fox property) into the MCU proper; and b) The first-ever "R" rated film in the MCU pantheon. 

Thus, the "Marvel Jesus," has burst through the building, and is attempting to resurrect a once revered brand, now fallen on callow times. So, no pressure, Mr. Levy, your film just has to meet the sky-high expectations of Deadpool Nation, while also rejuvenating an entire massive entertainment empire on its lonesome. Just how effectively it manages to achieve these lofty goals remains to be seen, but I can report that the film certainly gives it its best shot. 

With a script co-written by Levy, Reynolds, and a host of others, the film takes solid aim at the myriad of mistakes and miscues that has befallen the MCU over the years, incorporating 'Pool's murderously savage derisory jeers to poke righteous (and deserved) fun at the mothership, while retaining the series' gleefully indecorous, hyper-violent tone. 

As for the story, bear with me a minute. Yes, there is, indeed a multi-verse element, which I think by now we can all agree  —  with the notable exception for the Sony Spiderverse films, which remain delightful  — has just become rote and spent: A Get Out of Jail free card for overmatched screenwriters, and a means of re-incorporating extant properties under one mouse-eared umbrella.

That said, we meet Mr. Pool as he’s busy excavating Wolverine’s grave from Logan, James Mangold’s darkly somber (and significantly superior) film from 2017, meant to have been Hugh Jackman’s last time donning the Adamantium claws. As he does so, he’s pushed into laying waste to a bevy of Time Variance Authority enforcers. 

Out of context, we have no real idea why he’s doing what he’s doing, and so, cue the backstory: Because (spoiler alert) Logan has died on this earth, the entire planet’s timestream has become disrupted, and has gotten the ill attention of TVA operative Mr. Paradox (Matthew MacFadyen), itching to try out his unsanctioned doomsday device that would do away with that entire universe to clean up the timeline mess.  Faced with the real possibility of losing everyone he cares about, including former GF Vanessa (Morena Baccarin), former X-Force buddy Peter (Rob Delaney), and Dopinder (Karan Soni), Deadpool takes it upon himself to steal a multiverse transverser and hunt down a Wolverine from a different universe in order to use him to repopulate the missing Wolverine from his planet, thus sparing the universe Mr. Paradox’s planned extinction. 

Things don’t exactly go as planned. Eventually, DP does find a Wolverine, of sorts, but, as he himself puts it, he gets the “worst” one, a Wolverine who managed to let down his entire X-Men team, allowing them to all get slaughtered. Going from bad to worse, the pair of misfit brutes eventually find themselves deposed on a dead, post-apocalyptic desert world, like something out of the Mad Max-verse, running afoul of the local ruler of said wasteland, Cassandra Nova (Emma Corrin), a wildly powerful psionic type (and sister to Charles Xavier, founder of the original X-Men). 

Ergo, DP and Wolverine have to somehow make their way off this hostile plane of existence, with the help of a few former Marvel castoffs, get back to DP’s universe in time to stop Mr. Paradox from his diabolical plans, all while avoiding the army of alternate universe Deadpools, gathered together as a tribe of red-clad mercenaries (the cutest of which, without a doubt, Dogpool). 

There are certainly more hits than misses in this go-round, with some of the deprecating take downs ("Pegging isn’t new to me, friendo, but it is to Disney!") coming so rapid fire and from the hip, you have almost no choice but to fall for at least a few of them. True to form, DP is particularly merciless to the so-called hand that feeds him, putting Marvel in the crosshairs for some inspired burns (“Welcome to the MCU,” DP tells Wolverine, “but you’re hitting it at a bit of a low point.’) The film is filled to the brim with an enormous number of similar MCU full-body takedowns, profane quips, and wanton acts of violence, which helps distract from the fact that the story, such as it is, doesn’t really make a ton of sense, and seems to lose what steam it does have by the third act. Previous DP flicks have done the work of reaching a satisfying conclusion amidst all the dick jokes and beheadings, but here, Levy, Reynolds, and the rest of the writing team seem to have exhausted themselves in the first two acts, leaving the film’s climax severely underpowered. 

Still, apart from everything else, the film represents a desperately needed palate cleanser for the MCU from the last few years, a chance to show the world the company can acknowledge their missteps, and laugh at their mistakes. It's the first step of regaining their toehold on pop culture, and a welcome opportunity to reapproach their existing future projects with these painful lessons in mind. 

It's a hopeful idea, though I would be remiss if I didn't point out after this relatively quiet year, 2025 has three more MCU films slated to open. We can only hope they take this brief reprieve and do something extraordinary with it -- though, cynically speaking, I have my doubts.