#inappropriate use of a candy cane

[alyssalenko]

Jingle Bells

Marlo tries to help Harry regain the Christmas Spirit he lost in his divorce with some sexy Christmas lingerie and some jingle bells...AO3

Marlo collapsed beside Harry on the sofa after she finished putting the star on top of the tree, Harry smiling as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and drew her against his side, kissing the top of her head. It was their first official Christmas together as a couple, and tomorrow everyone would be together, but for now it was just the two of them able to make the most of their time together. A fire crackled merrily in the hearth, and between it and the twinkling lights on the tree, the room had the coziest atmosphere. Marlo snuggled into him, her head on his chest, listening to the steady sound of his heartbeat, reminding her that they were both here and alive.

“What's your favorite Christmas tradition?” She asked, resting her head on his chest as she curled her legs up underneath her body and traced patterns on his pec with her fingers.

“My mother actually used to have all of us--me and my cousins, aunts and uncles, as well as her and my father–gather in the kitchen to make different treats from cookies to candies to hot chocolate. Just a nice way to have the family all together.”

“That's really sweet. Mom and dad always let D and I open one gift on Christmas eve--we were impatient as children and it kind of blossomed into tradition from there.” Marlo chuckled at the memory, Harry rubbing his hand up and down her arm as he pressed his cheek to her hair.

“Since the divorce, I haven't really done anything for the holidays.”

Marlo frowned and sat up--his ex-wife had really done a number on him and she hated it; he deserved so much better. “I think it's time we change that, combine both of our traditions and start getting back your Christmas Spirit. I need to get your first present ready, so I can't join you in the kitchen, is that all right?”

He nodded, the two of them extricating themselves from each other, Marlo heading into their bedroom and Harry heading into the kitchen. She'd been looking for an excuse and a way to change into the Christmas themed lingerie she'd secretly bought to seduce him with. Helping him get back his Christmas spirit was just a bonus. Marlo checked her reflection in the mirror as she placed a Santa hat on her head and tied a spring of mistletoe into the bow at her waist before she made her way over to the tree and arranged herself underneath it--Harry's one Christmas Eve present to open. After a moment's deliberation, she grabbed a candy cane off the tree, peeling the plastic down and sticking it in her mouth; a naughty idea forming in her head.

Harry nearly dropped both mugs of hot chocolate as he rounded the corner from the kitchen when he saw what was waiting for him. Marlo was lounging back on her elbows under the Christmas tree, a candy cane in her mouth, a Santa hat on her head, red gloves with white trim by her elbow and knee high black boots with gold buckles on her feet. Red poinsettias covered her nipples, red and green jingle bells dangling from them in front of discs that he realized said ‘Santa’s Slut’ as he got closer. She had a black satin ribbon wrapped around her stomach, a clump of mistletoe wound into the bow in front of her belly button, pointing at her red thong tied with white puffballs at her hips, the words ‘so nice, Santa came twice��, emblazoned in white lettering across the red fabric. He would have laughed if he wasn't so goddamned horny at the sight of her–if this was how she embraced the Christmas spirit, he was in for a very long season, indeed, but he was absolutely looking forward to it.

"Jesus Christ, Marlo." Harry growled, setting the mugs on the coffee table and running one hand through his hair as he cursed under his breath, a bulge tenting the front of his slacks as he reached down and adjusted himself in his pants. "You're going to give me a heart attack."

Marlo took the candy cane from her mouth and covered it back up with it's wrapping, grinning as she ran a hand over her bare hip and up her side, flicking the jingle bells dangling from her nipples, a pleasant chime tinkling in the air. She smirked as she bit her lip, Harry stepping closer and kneeling on the floor in front of where she lounged under the Christmas tree. Teasing fingers trailed along her leg, Harry pulling the zipper of one of her boots down slowly and pressing his lips to every inch of skin he exposed, before doing the same to the other side. He kissed his way from her ankles to her knees, Marlo biting her lip as he moved to her inner thigh, close to where she wanted his attention the most. Harry met her eyes as he placed a kiss to her clit through the fabric–the rules of mistletoe quite clear--before his forefinger and thumb closed around the ends of the dark ribbon wrapped around her torso, watching as the satin and the sprig fell away--she was the perfect present; his own little Christmas treat. His fingers closed around her ankles and he gave her a tug, pulling her out from under the tree as he trailed kisses up her stomach and along her jaw, Marlo gasping in surprise and draping one leg around his hips. She trailed one hand along his jawline, as the other one disappeared between them, a very specific destination in mind.

"I hope not; that'd certainly put a damper on the things I had arranged for you tonight. I was planning to do so many filthy things to you…but if you're not–” She smirked, hand stroking his erection through his pants. “-- up for it…”

Harry's lips on hers silenced the rest of her sentence–and here he'd thought she only made doctor puns. He rocked his hips against hers, the bells jingling faintly with the motion. He caught her hand in his as she reached for him, pressing a kiss to the inside of her elbow as he worked the white-trimmed red velvet glove down her arm, Marlo sighing in contentment as he turned his attention to the other glove. His lips teased the inside of her wrist and her fingertips, the gentleness with which he was handling her, despite the hard bulge rubbing against her core, nearly undid her. A low growl rose from his throat as she shimmied her hips, rolling them against his cock in invitation. Marlo locked her ankles behind him, bringing his erection flush up against her, Harry chucking darkly and thrusting forward a couple times for good measure making the bells jingle–he was going to remember this moment every time he heard bells from now on. He unhooked her legs from around his waist and inched backwards, gentle hands wrapping around her knees, parting her legs and opening her to him. He reached between them, her breath hitching as his thumb brushed her clit through the fabric of her underwear before he slipped his hand underneath the fabric and drew a finger through her dripping folds, making her writhe in pleasure, already so wound up and he'd barely touched her.

"Harry…" She breathed, as he dipped one finger inside her, her hips jerking towards his hand, the jingle bells on her nipple clamps tinkling again.

Her hand groped along the coffee table as he teased her mercilessly, fingers closing around the candy cane she'd had before and offering it to him, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“I think you aren't as good as these imply.” He whispered huskily as he pulled the crotch of her thong to the side, adding a second finger and pumping them in and out of her, drawing a moan from her throat and another chime from those damn bells.

“Lies and slander.” Marlo laughed breathlessly, hips stuttering as his fingers retreated from inside her and leaving her bereft.

His fingers grasped the candy cane by the curve at the end, unwrapping it and bringing the candy to his mouth, sliding the length of it through his lips from one end to the other. Marlo bit her lower lip as Harry rolled the peppermint candy through her folds, sliding it up and down through her arousal pooled there, in lieu of his finger. The steady rhythm of the candy cane rubbing up and down against her clit halted, a small growl of indignation escaping her lips. He spun the peppermint stick in his grip, easing the candy cane inside her to the crook and drawing it back out of her at the same pace his fingers had just set, both of them watching as it went from white with red stripes to pink and sticky.

Her eyes fell closed on a moan, chest heaving as Harry replaced the candy cane with his mouth. The tip of his tongue traced her slit, wet with her arousal and faintly tasting of mint. Marlo canted her hips invitingly, begging for him to devour her...and he intended to do just that. He plunged his tongue inside her, making her back arch and bells jingle, his name almost a chant on her lips as he closed his mouth over her dripping pussy and sucked hard, tongue flicking at her clit. When he sucked the little nub between his lips and tugged it gently, she came apart at the seams.

He caught her eye from his position between her legs, her breathing ragged as she came down from the high of her orgasm, Harry placing a teasing kiss to the tattoo on her hip bone, before kissing his way back up her body. Heat and desire lurked behind his eyes...he wanted— needed —to be inside her, to feel her walls stretching and shifting around his cock. His hands went to the button of his slacks as he loomed up over her as his lips found hers in a hungry kiss, tongue teasing hers when it slipped between her parted lips. He pushed his pants off his hips, freeing his throbbing erection as he widened the gap of her thighs with his hips, rubbing his cock up and down along her folds coating himself in her wetness. He paused before slowly entering her, letting her feel every inch of him as he filled her to the hilt.

He thrust forward. Once. Twice. Her insides stretched to accommodate him as he fucked her, the rhythm of his hips erratic and the bells tinkling with every move they made. Harry interlaced his fingers with hers and brought her hand to his lips, the tenderness of the gesture tugging at her heartstrings, as he rocked his erection against the roll of her hips. His hands ghosted over her breasts, the nipple clamps magnifying his every touch. He flicked one of the bells, letting the chime resonate for a few seconds before brushing his thumb over one of the poinsettias, a whimper of pleasure escaping past her lips. His touches were frantic, the need hitting him like a tidal wave as he thrust forward again the tension inside him climbing higher, a shiver racking his body. He wasn’t going to last much longer. Harry thrust harder, deeper, as he reached between them to tease her. Marlo moaned, head falling back, walls closing tightly around his shaft and dragging his orgasm from him on a shuddering breath. He buried his face in her neck and inhaled deeply, taking a moment to catch his breath and gaze at her lovingly, his finger circling her clit slowly.

He rocked his hips once more, the friction sending Marlo over the edge of ecstasy to join him in mindless oblivion.

“Are you feeling a little more festive?” Marlo panted, trying to catch her breath.

“I may need a little more convincing, though I think we can do without the jingle bells this time.”

“I find your lack of cheer disturbing.” She giggled, leaning up and placing a kiss to his shoulder.

Harry rolled his eyes. “Au contraire–this little sexcapade was just what I needed. But you don't need me getting horny every time a bell rings because I can't help but remember this.”

“I don't know. I think that's exactly what I want. Now, Santa, I think we need to go again. You have a quota to meet.” Marlo giggled, pointing to the twice in ‘so nice, Santa came twice’ on her underwear and making Harry chuckle as he rolled onto his back and lowered her onto his already hard again erection.

At this point he'd have to reheat the hot chocolate he'd made, but it was worth it–and for now he had some more Christmas spirit to regain with her by his side every step of the way.

[cerridwen007]

Candy Cane.

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader (afab)

Word count: 1.6 k (18+ MINORS DNI!)

Summary: Frankie can’t help but stare as you suck on that candy cane, very reminiscent of some of your other favourite things to suck on.

Notes/warnings: SMUT, fluff, Frankie being an adorable cheeky menace, oral (f and m receiving), fingering, inappropriate use of a candy cane, swearing, no y/n, probs bad spanish. ( Let me know anything else if I missed it)

A/N: Yall, it's been way too long since I last posted, and for that, I'm very sorry. Work has been exhausting me, and I've just lacked motivation to do much writing. So take this early, smutty Christmas fic as my apology. Honestly, I don't know how good it is/how well editied it is as I wrote it in less than 24 hours as the idea just came to me as I was sitting down eating a candy cane, much like reader. Wink wink. Also, this is my first Frankie fic I've posted, so yay for that. I've got a few wips in progress for this cutie, so be ready for that. Likes, comments, and reposts are always appreciated. I'll post this to my A03 soon, which is linked in my bio, if you prefer reading on that platform. Hope yall enjoy.❤️🫶

*********

Frankie couldn't help but let his jaw drop in awe of you unconsciously sucking on a candy cane very reminiscent of how you sucked his dick merely a few days ago. How you always sucked his dick so good, leaving him a pathetic whining mess. His dick was throbbing as he watched your delicate fingers hold the curved end, twisting it up and into your mouth while your mouth bobbed up and down.  An unbothered look on your face as you read your book, completely unaware of the effect you were having on your boyfriend sitting on the couch on the other side of the room from you.

Frankie can't help but groan a little,  just loud for you to hear as it escapes the back of his throat. You look over to the other side of the room, where he sits on the couch palming his hard length through his jeans; sports playing on the tv long forgotten, as he stares at you with glazed over, dark eyes. Your smile grows wide when you realise just how you had been affecting him with such a mindless innocent action. Your hand holding the candy cane drops, leaving only your teeth to uphold the fruity, striped stick. 

“You alright, sweetheart? You seem a little��distracted there.” You tease him as your eyelids droop to a flirtatious look.

He coughs a little before he answers, stumbling over his words. “Y-yeah, I'm doing real good, baby.”

You hum around the sweet confectionary, very reminiscent of a moan of pleasure, making sure to hollow your cheeks as the tart flavor hits your tongue.

“Wanna taste, baby? You're looking awfully desperate to have something sweet.” You say, holding the confectionary out to him, with your eyebrow raised.

He groans, squeezing his crotch, not managing to get out any words or approval other than an enthusiastic nod. You chuckle to yourself as you slowly get out of your seat and walk over to stand in front of Frankie. You lean down and place your hands on his knees, batting your eyelashes at him. One of your hands reaches up and twists the candy cane so the whole straight part disappears down your throat before it pulls it out again and you hold it out for Frankie to lick. He surprises you as he wraps his big hands around your back and hips and grabs you quickly to straddle his lap. 

“Frankie!” You giggle, taken off guard, leaving your smooth, sexy facade down for a second.

“Sorry, mi vida. Needed to have my sugar fix as close as possible.”

He kisses you with such fervour it takes you a moment to kiss him back, caught off guard as you both moan into the kiss.

You pull back with a smirk and hold out the candy cane again for him to suck. He grins as he takes the sweet treat into his mouth and groans, still tasting you in his mouth from the kiss and on the candy cane.

“Mmmh delicious sweetheart, but nothing will ever taste nearly as good or as sweet as you, mi amor.”

He twists his body again and throws you back onto the couch, causing you to fall into a fit of giggles.

He grins against your skin as kisses down your jaw, creating a path down your neck and collar, down between your breasts through your shirt. He shuffles down the couch, continuing to trace his lips down your body, slowly removing every bit of clothing that gets in the way of his lips tasting your skin. You can feel his hard cock throbbing against you as he slides his way down, matching the throbbing pulse of your clit. 

“Frankie…” you whine as he reaches your hips, pulling down your sweats slowly off your legs, tossing them somewhere on the floor. A devilish grin orderned on his beautiful face as he lowers his head, breathing in the scent of your arousal through your panties before biting the lacy fabric and moving them off you with his teeth. His hands are holding up your legs for better access as follows the curves of your calf. He tosses your panties to the ground and begins to plant soft kisses and bite down your raised legs all the way back down to your dripping heat.

Your face hurts from smiling as you watch Frankie show you his playful love and affection, he grins back at you and cups your face gently with one hand, to which you nuzzle into. He lowers his face back between your thighs and finally takes a firm lick up your folds, making you both moan. He has to reach down and palm himself through his uncomfortably tight jeans yet again  as he sucks your clit and licks into your oozing hole, muttering to himself about how good you taste. He reaches up to grab at your wrist and pin it into the couch before trying to grasp at what you're still holding; the candy cane. He looks up at you with dark eyes when his finger plucks it from your grasp and holds it to your mouth. 

You immediately suck it deep into your mouth before he can even ask. He growls before removing it from your red lips and dragging it down your body. He sucks it back into his mouth before running it back and forth through your folds, catching it deliciously on your clit every time, he watches in awe as your body shakes and squirms, telling of your impending orgasm as it reaches its peak.

“Come for me sweet girl.”

You become a babbling mess of incoherent swears as Frankie works you through your high. He fucks the candy cane into your cunt, following everwhere he traces it with his tongue, moaning at the sweet, delicious taste of you and the candy cane. He brings you to another high quickly after, enjoying another round of your sweet release hitting his tongue. Only stopping when you push his head away, pussy worn and oversensitive.

He kisses your inner thighs and works his way back up your body, licking up the sticky trail the candy cane left earlier, you grab both sides of his face and kiss him deeply, moaning at the taste of yourself on his tongue. You pull away after a few minutes to catch your breath and bite your lip. Pupils blown wide staring at the man that you love so deep with all of your being. You knew you just had to return the favour, especially because the thought of you sucking his cock started this whole thing in the first place. 

After littering his swollen lips and red face with soft kisses, you begin to sit up to change your position, pushing your hands firmly against Frankie's chest to push him back against the back of the couch before sliding down to your knees in front of him. His cock is aching, he whines a little as he watches you undo his belt and zipper, pulling his pants off in one go.

You palm him through his black boxers, the front covered in a pre-cum stain. You look up at his disheveled state through your eyelashes, your eyes blown wide with lust. He swallows harshly as you reach under the band of his underwear and pull out his hefty length. He watches you licking your lips from the last of the sweet residue coating them, your mouth watering from the salty flavor soon to be gracing your tongue.

You lean your head forward and let a big glob of spit drop onto the tip, quickly lubing him up with your hand and small slow strokes. Your lips envelope his furiously swollen tip, tongue twisting around the curves. His hand falls to your jaw, holding it softly, a plea to keep going, don't stop. His head falls, eyes squeezing shut before he forces himself to not miss anymore of the gorgeous sight of you before him on your knees.

Your other hand reaches out, playing with and lightly squeezing his balls. Your other hand tightens its grip around his girth, strokes growing faster. You pull your mouth off him, raising his cock up, so you can dip your head and lick up from the bottom of his length all the way back up to his head and through his slit. You mouth quickly attaches back onto him, sensing he is close by his mumbled praises, and his desperate “fuck”s that has you clenching your thighs together as the throbbing returns.

You turn your head to the side a bit so the tip of him is sticking out prominently through your reddened checks as you bob up and down on the tip. The sight combined with your sinful, moans causes Frankie to suddenly shoot his load into your mouth giving you little warning other than a loudly groaned “Fuck” as the salty cum fills your mouth. You make a show of swallowing till every drop is gone, licking your lips and then opening your mouth wide to show Frankie that you had indeed swallowed all it.

Through his post orgasim bliss, sweaty and heaving, he manages to reach down and give you a messy, sloppy kiss. The taste of both of your pleasures being exchanged between the both of you. You pull away and sigh deeply, letting some much needed air into your lungs, as you rest your head on his naked thigh, looking up at him lovingly. He caresses your check, affectionately. You both open your mouths at the same time to say that “you'll have to buy some more candy canes soon.” Making you both fall into a fit of laughs. It really was going to be a sweet holiday season.

***********

[mynameismckenziemae]

She’s a Fire-Chapter VII

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x OFC/Reader (no use of y/n)

Light me up

(previous chapter here, next chapter here)

Warnings: smut, p in v, ass play, Christmas kink, spanking, etc.

2 months pass in the blink of an eye and it’s December before you know it.

Thanksgiving was celebrated with Bradley at Penny and Pete’s as your dad went with your step-mom, Laura, to her side of the family. You had been invited but declined, only having a few days off work, but you promised you’d make it for Christmas.

You haven’t said it yet, but you were in love with Bradley. He was everything; kind, selfless, affectionate, goofy…and the sex. The sex was incredible. Bradley was insatiable, you two couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Though you dabbled some, you recently discussed your kinks, the things you two want to try, and the things you two don’t. Thankfully your lists are very compatible and you’re excited to do new things together.

“What are you doing for Christmas this year?” You ask as you place ornaments on the little tree you picked out with Bradley for your apartment.

“Not sure yet. There’s always a standing invitation to go home with Sunny, but she’s bringing Bob to meet her parents, and I don’t want to impose on that. Pete said I can come over too. You?” He says, kneeling to dig into your Christmas decor tote.

“I was wondering if you’d want to go to Colorado with me. My dad and Laura have been dying to meet you, and I’d like to spend it with you…if you want?”

“Yeah, I’d love to,” he smiles, “when are you planning on leaving?”

“The 22nd, our flight leaves at 7 AM.”

He laughs, “And what if I would’ve said no?”

“I had a hunch you’d say yes, but I got refundable tickets just in case.” You say with a wink.

“How much? There’s no way I’m letting you pay for mine.”

“I’m not telling you. You never let me pay for anything. Consider it your Christmas present if you must.”

“I can’t do that, Row. Please let me—what is this?”

You snort as he pulls out a red box with the words ‘Naughty or Nice’ printed in cursive on it. “I forgot about that. I had a white elephant gift exchange with my book club girls last year. It was inappropriate gifts only.”

He opens the box and his eyes widen at its contents. A candy cane striped dildo, red satin cuffs, a green vibrating butt plug, a Christmas tree-shaped riding crop, a remote-controlled white cock ring, and lube among other items.

A naughty idea comes to mind.

You tsk at him as you saunter over to him. “Bradley, did I tell you to open the box? Why do you think it’s okay to go through my things?”

He looks up at you, puzzled. You wink and he catches on. “No…I wasn’t thinking. Sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t good enough,” you raise his chin with two fingers to look at you. “Go to my bedroom, get undressed, then wait on the bed and think about what you’ve done until I get there.”

He nods, getting up to walk to the bedroom as asked, a red flush creeping up his neck.

You smile to yourself as you finish placing the last ornaments on the tree and pick up the box before following him.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

You don’t look at him as you enter the bedroom. You set down the box and strip down to your bra and lacy underwear before you address him. “Do you know why you’re in trouble?”

“I went through your things without asking?”

“Yes, that and?”

“Uhh…I’m not sure?”

“You argued with me about paying for your plane ticket instead of saying, ‘Thank you, Rowan.” You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing as you watch him struggle to not fight you further. “So what do you need to say, Bradley?”

He sighs. “I’m sorry for going through your things without asking.”

“And…?” You prompt.

“Thank you, Rowan”. He finally concedes.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

He flushes further and shakes his head.

“Now, stand up and turn around. I think you need to be reminded of your manners.”

He shudders but does as he’s told. His cock is hard and leaking precum through his boxer briefs.

You press yourself to his back. “Color?” you whisper.

“Green” he whispers back.

You pull his boxers off and he steps out of them. “Hands on the bed. Make sure you keep them there.”

He does so and you admire the view before you slap him hard on his right cheek. He inhales sharply and exhales slowly when you spank the other side.

You give him a few more swats to each side, his ass tinted a nice pink. “Have you learned your lesson yet?”

“Why? Is your hand sore?” You can hear the smirk in his voice. Brat.

“Hmm, guess you haven’t.” You say as you pick the crop, enjoying the way he flinches when you crack it on your palm.

You land a harsh smack to his right cheek and he fails to stifle his gasp before you hit the left equally hard.

You give him a few more lower, right on his sit spots. His ass is bright red and blotchy, you throb at the sight and the thought of him remembering this every time he sits down tomorrow.

You lower the crop and press up to his back again. “Still green?” You ask as you reach around to stroke him. He groans out a ‘Yes’ and his hands grip the comforter.

“Good. A few more should do it.”

You don’t hold back as you land the last few blows.

“Fuck!” He cries as the last one catches both cheeks. You place the crop back in the box and take out the lube and plug next, squeezing a dollop on your finger before setting both on the bed.

You reach for Bradley’s cock again, stroking it while you run your finger down his crack to circle his hole before pressing in gently.

Bradley whimpers and his hand leaves the bed to halt the movement on his cock. “Sorr-ah, fuck. I’m too close.”

“Did I say you could move your hand from the bed yet?” You say lowly, pushing your finger in farther.

“No, I’m sorry. You’re right. Shitshitshit, I don’t-I just don’t want to cum yet, please Row.”

You sigh heavily and release the hold on his cock, but push a second finger into his ass.

Bradley whines when you pull your fingers out to replace them with the plug. “It’s not much bigger than my fingers, but tell me if this is too much, okay?

He nods, a choked-off gasp ripping from his throat as the toy breaches him. “Almost in, you’re taking it so well. There. That’s a good boy.” He whines, arms shaking as he waits for your next instructions.

“I’ll be back in a second, lay on your back okay?”

You quickly wash your hands and return to the bedroom, picking up the cuffs as you walk to the bed.

“I don’t need those, I’ll be good.” He begs, a fucked out expression on his face.

“Hands up. Should’ve thought of that before, huh?”

He lifts his arms for you. “Color?” You ask as you loop the cuffs through the wrought-iron frame.

“Green.”

You break character, by giving him a small kiss.

You scoot back down his body and sink down on him with ease and a satisfied sigh, your arousal coating halfway down your thighs.

You circle your clit with your fingers as you ride him slowly, listening to him beg for you to go faster. You get yourself off twice before you turn around, reverse cowgirl style. You reach between his legs; one hand rolling his balls and the other moving the plug, angling it at his prostate. You turn the vibrations on without warning him.

Bradley’s back arches and he keens, absolutely wrecked as the vibrations stimulate his prostate. He plants his feet and he fucks up into you, the new angle hitting your g-spot.

“Get there Row, please. I’m gonna cum” he grits out, arms straining against the cuffs.

You resume the circling on your clit and cry out, the orgasm taking your breath away as it pulses through you. Bradley cums too with breathy whines. You clench involuntarily at the sounds you’ve never heard him make before.

You reach down to turn the vibrations off and pull it out gently.

You roll off next to him, needing to catch your breath before you clean up.

You reach up to untie the cuffs, rubbing his wrists and arms before taking them down. Next, you clean him up and then yourself, and return to the bedroom with some aloe. He’s half asleep.

“Hey baby, turn over. I want to put some aloe on your tush”.

He laughs sleepily but turns onto his stomach, hissing when you squirt it on his skin. “It’s cold!”

There are a few raised Christmas tree prints, but it would probably be mostly gone by tomorrow You’re a little sad about that.

He groans as you rub the excess aloe into his lower back. “That feels amazing.”

“Yeah? Want me to keep going up your back?”

“Sure, if you want.”

And you do want to. You want to do everything in your power to give him some of the happiness he so deserves. You watch as he turns to mush under your hands, his whole body fully relaxed as he succumbs to sleep.

You pull the sheets and comforter over him before climbing under yourself and planting a soft kiss on his cheek. “I love you,” you whisper to his sleeping form.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Soft humming and the smell of something delicious cooking wakes you up.

“Breakfast and coffee for my beautiful woman,” he says, coming into the room wearing your apron and handing you a plate with a cup of coffee, made just how you like it.

“Thank you, so I need to spank your ass to get breakfast in bed?” You ask with a grin, knowing he makes you breakfast every chance he gets.

“Guess so,” he grins back, turning to get his plate from the kitchen. You choke on your coffee when you see he’s not wearing anything under the apron, faint red Christmas tree marks still present on his ass.

“You okay in there?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Have you looked at your butt this morning?” You laugh.

“No, why?” He steps in front of your mirror, “Oh. Well, that explains the soreness when I got outta bed.” He chuckles, wincing slightly as he sits on your bed. You notice a tent forming in the front of the apron though.

“So…was last night okay?”

“It was amazing, you’re amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever cum that hard before. I barely remember you rubbing my back.”

You smile, “Good. I liked it too. A lot.”

You finish eating, discussing the details of your upcoming trip, and take his plate to clean up.

You smile as you walk out of your bedroom. Bradley put the finishing touches on the tree and hung the icicle lights in the windows.

“It looks so nice in here, thank you. How long have you been up?” You say as you start washing the dishes.

“A little over an hour,” he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist.

“You’re the best.” You turn your head for a kiss. “Got anything going today on before the Dagger party tonight?”

“Nah, not really. Was thinking about decorating my place. Wanna help?”

“Sure! Then we can make snow angels for two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Toll House cookie dough as fast as we can, and then we'll snuggle.” You laugh, quoting your favorite Christmas movie, Elf.

He laughs too, “We’ll have to save the snow angels and ice skating for Colorado but cookie dough and snuggling? I think I can make that happen.”

You pack an overnight bag with your outfit for the party tonight, sneaking a few of the toys from the ‘Nice or Nice’ box in too, and meet Bradley waiting by the Bronco for you.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

A/N: I just love Christmas. What do you think Rowan packed from the box? 😏

Taglist/tagging people who might be interested (let me know if you want to be added or taken off):

@its-the-pilot

@dizzybee03

@sweetwhispersofchaos

@blindedbythelightt

@getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth

@lexixstewart

@phoenix-rising-starbird-one

@mrsrobertfloyd

@charmedkingdom

@k-k0129

@bellaireland1981

[papergirllife]

Johnny Suh, Jeong Jaehyun

Santa! Jaehyun x reader x Polar bear hybrid! Johnny

Synopsis:

What happens when you, a Santarina, one of the many helpers Santa has, screws up big time by sending an inappropriate gift? And to top it off, his best friend from the other department comes knocking on Jaehyun's door in the midst of the scalding heat that's happening at North pole...

Warnings: this is a self-indulgent crack fic, misuse of candy canes, food play, 'oh there's no lube' trope, slight breath play, cream pie, soft towards the end, intoxicated sex, unprotected sex, knotting, slight cum inflation, etc.

Don't like, don't read. Hate comments would be deleted then blocked, thank you

Unbeknownst to others, Santa isn't one person, it's several people overseeing a few regions, and the tradition of Santas delivering gifts on their own has changed in the last few decades, a special and secret unit of Santarinas have been created in lieu of the increasing inches added to the Santas' waists (and the fact that sneaking in like thieves have replaced the classic drop down the chimney acts), but there's a newly elected Santa in the region you're working for, Mr Jeong Jaehyun. He's been in position for a few years now, and needless to say, he's had the Santarinas falling head over heels for his charming good looks.

You huff at the expanse of paperwork you'd have to finish by the next Christmas, scratching your head at this next report you have to submit to reason 'why' a 15 year old wanted a remote controlled dinosaur for Christmas, yes, the lot of you still give gifts to kids up till they're 18, their parting gift.

You decided to put 'immaturity' as the reasoning when someone called your name, your boss appearing over your cubicle.

"Santa's looking for you, missy, and he's not happy, don't be too surprised if you need to pack your bags and leave north pole tomorrow," she says before swinging her hips away to pester some other poor santarina or elf under her supervision.

You swallow a lump down your throat, following your supervisor to the 'big room'.

The room is burgundy red, a stark difference from the bright red and dark green the rest of the office has, in the middle sits Jaehyun, even though there's a prominent glare on his face, he looks as gorgeous as ever, the first few buttons of his red suit unbuttoned, his hair tousled attractively, seemingly as if he's ran his hand through his hair a few times, which he probably did, seeing how stress he looks.

"You may leave now, Ms Lee," Jaehyun says before turning to you, "and you, explain why you gave an 18 year old girl a toy as a Christmas gift," Jaehyun demands, his arms crossing over his chest, further enhancing his cleavage and with the added view of his biceps, you're going to leave this room unemployed and panties drenched if he keeps this up.

"I, um, I thought it'd be a great goodbye and welcome to adulthood gift?" You say uncertainly, eyes avoiding his piercing gaze, but just one look of disappointment on his face gives you the need to explain yourself further, "she wanted it a long time though, I double checked and triple checked her cart on that site, I could go check up on her right now, if she doesn't like it I'll fix this mess immediately-

"There's nothing you can do to fix this mess, thank god I took a glance at the paperwork before it was sent off to HQ, I had to create some bullshit excuse to make up for your mistakes, I don't know how tight lipped the accounting department would be, but if shit gets out, you're going to say you accidently bought a sex toy thinking you were using your own personal card instead of the cooperate card, do you understand?" Jaehyun says, his tone stern and unforgiving.

"Understood," you said meekly, hands clasped together nervously as you prepare for the worse, "are you going to fire me now?" you ask, wanting to get over this as soon as possible.

"Fire you?" Jaehyun asks as he rounds his big oak table, "it would be a shame to let go of a slut like you, wouldn't it? Who would've thought of looking through someone's Adam and Eve's wishlist other than a whore like you?" Jaehyun says with a slight rumble in his chest, is it because he's mad or because he's turned on? "How about we make a deal, you've given so much stress to me the past day, it would be....appropriate if the source of my stress becomes my aid of distressing, isn't that right, slut?" Jaehyun leans back in his chair, eyes looking at you expectantly.

"Yes, sir," you said with a dazed tone, your dirty fantasies playing out before your eyes.

"Sir? That's not really my cup of tea," Jaehyun says with a tilt of his head, eyes still staring into yours.

"Daddy?" you try, if you get this right, you wonder how many kinks the two of you share in common.

"Come to daddy, baby, sit on Santa's lap," Jaehyun demands, patting his thighs invitingly.

You cross the few steps to Jaehyun eagerly, until the very last step, you hesitate, your nerves firing up, what if he's only joking? What if he's pulling a prank to humiliate you?

Before you could overthink the situation any further, Jaehyun grasps your hips with his strong hands, manhandling you onto his lap.

A shocked gasp leaves your lips, but before you could process what has happened, you feel Jaehyun's pouty lips on your neck, inhaling your scent.

"Sweet."

You tilt your head back to give Jaehyun more access, shuddering when you feel his sharp teeth graze the expanse of your neck.

Jaehyun gauges your reactions, a sly smile on his face when he feels you squirming on his lap, he bares his mouth, sucking large purple marks onto your neck, your core drenched at the thought of walking out of his office with Jaehyun's touch written all over your body, letting everyone know.

Your squirming movements have led to something hard poking at your ass, and being none the wiser, you grinded back onto his cock without permission, earning a spank on your butt, a moan falling from your lips.

"I thought I was going to get a present on Santa's lap," you say, turning your head over to face Jaehyun with a pout.

"Presents or punishments, it's entirely up to you, baby," Jaehyun says before holding your jaw in his big hands, mushing your cheeks together to place a sloppy, possessive kiss on your lips, your hands bunched up in his red velvet top, his enthusiasm fueling you to go further, thinking of sliding your hands down his chest, but before you could do so, the door of his office bursts open, freezing at your movements, you turn back to stare at the intruder, heat rushing up your cheeks when you realise it's Jaehyun's best friend, the polar bear hybrid that heads his fellow polar bear hybrids in moving gifts onto sleighs.

"Well, looks like Mr Santa is having an early celebration, guess me and this bottle of whisky's got to look for some other company tonight," Johnny muses before he retreats a few steps to close the door, but before he could so, Jaehyun cuts in.

"Why don't you join us, you worked hard too, don't you think, baby?" Jaehyun asks, his warm hands running up and down your thighs.

You nod your head, not trusting your voice, you brain isn't registering the fact that two of the most popular men in your region department are going to have you for the night.

"Well, if the lady's welcoming me, it'd be rude for me to turn down the offer," Johnny says before stepping back in, locking the door.

Jaehyun turns his attention back to you, "get on your knees to suck Santa's candy cane, baby," Jaehyun orders, maneuvering your hips down for you.

You immediately comply, hands flying to undress Jaehyun, pulling his dress pants and boxers down in one go, his big cock springing up from its confines, hitting you in the face.

"Sorry, babe, guess it was excited to see you," Jaehyun says, petting your hair, guiding your head to his dick.

You wrap your lips around him, gentle hands reaching under, gently playing with his balls, cupping them while you tongue his tip, alternating between sucking his head and deep throating his length, earning groans of pleasure from the delicious man above you that send shocks of pleasure down to your core.

Busy pleasuring Jaehyun, you briefly forgot about Johnny's presence, until you feel him tugging up your skirt and your panties down.

"You got this wet just from sucking Jaehyun off, baby?" Johnny asks from behind you, hands grasping onto your cheeks, pulling them apart to reveal your puckered hole.

"You ever played with yourself here, baby?" Johnny asks before he drips a wad of spit down your opening, stuttering in your movements.

"How about I prep you with the candy cane challenge?" Johnny asks, you freeze in your movements, mind blanked.

You heard of the challenge. Every year on New Year's Day, anonymous accounts from your region would upload photos of their ass jammed up with candy canes on the 'after work' forum page, the person, identity unknown of course, with the most candy canes sticking out their ass wins.

You nod your head, not trusting your own voice, mentally preparing yourself for what's to come, not that you're against the idea, but the most you had in your butt was a small dildo, and Johnny's a polar bear hybrid, they're known for being big.

Johnny smiles slyly at your sudden shy demeanour, propping up your butt.

"This is going to get very interesting," Jaehyun muses, trying to keep his eyes open despite the pleasure streaming through his veins when you continued your ministrations on him.

You hear a pop of a bottle before you feel the cold drink drip down your crack, shivering at the contact.

"Sorry, baby, I don't think Jaehyun's got any lube in his office," Johnny apologises before breaching your rim with a finger, you hum a moan around Jaehyun's cock, his length constricting around your throat.

Jaehyun muffles a moan in his throat before he cums down your throat, spurts of warm liquid filling your belly.

When you were busy endulging in that sated feeling, you feel Johnny sliding his fingers out, trading it for a single candy cane, you're not sure how thick a single candy cane is, but when you saw the jar of candy on Jaehyun's table, it looked no less than 1 centimetres in thickness and maybe 6 inches long, you have no idea why Jaehyun stocks up on big candy canes throughout the office, maybe it's a Santa addiction.

As Jaehyun rides out his high with a hand on your hair, Johnny slides in another candy cane, fucking you open with the hooks of the candy, watching with lustful eyes as he watches your ass swallow the long candy, he adds two more into your rim, he moves the canes around, trying to locate that one spot that would make you scream his name when he's going to have his way with you, when Johnny hit a particular angle, your jaw slacks, having pulled out a moan from the man behind you, releasing Jaehyun's tip from your warm mouth.

"What a shame, I was enjoying her cockwarming me, but guess it's a sign for me to join the fun," Jaehyun notes before shuffling to the jar on the floor, picking up two candy canes, stuffing them into your ass, totaling the score to six candy canes, you're only halfway to last year's record, given that this challenge started 3 years ago, no one has topped last year's record of 12.

"She'll have to take lots more to fit me," Johnny muses before stuffing another three in your ass, he's given up on fucking you open now, just enjoying the sight of your ass being ruined by him and his best friend.

"I think she'll need at least 15 to take you, dude," Jaehyun says with a chuckle before putting another two in.

Your mind is getting hazy now, the feeling of being so full making you dumb, and the two men's comments aren't helping in the slightest.

"15?? Yeah, no, make it 20 at least," Johnny says with all seriousness before putting another two inside you, is it ten yet? You feel so stretched, you really hope you won't bleed after this.

As if hearing your thoughts, Jaehyun pours more whisky down your ass, but it goes amiss, cursing, he adjusts the angle of your butt, tilting it upwards and pouring the whisky onto the candy canes, letting it flow down into your ass before you feel someone shove another two into your butt, the stretch burning less now that there's more lubricant.

You don't know how long they keep repeating this cycle, but you could feel the whisky getting to your head even though you're good at handling your alcohol.

Before you knew it, the prodding of candy and whisky stops, the two men stand up to get a better look at you, your ass up in the air while your head rests on Jaehyun's chair, chest heaving from the mix of pleasure and alcohol in your system.

"I think we have a world record here, Jae, she's definitely beaten the forum's record," Johnny says with a proud tone, a warm fuzzy feeling sinking into your belly.

"By a lot?" you hear Jaehyun ask.

"By ten, she's got twenty two candy canes up her ass, now she's ready for a big boy like me," Johnny announces, but before you even think of pushing all the candy out, Jaehyun shuffles around his office for something.

"You don't mind me taking a picture right, baby? It'd be a waste not to post this on the forum, we're so proud of you, baby," Jaehyun definitely knows how to sweet talk, getting you to agree, it'd be a waste not to break the forum's record after all your hard work, right? No one's going to know it's you anyways.

You hear a snap of a shutter before Jaehyun comes shuffling in front of you, showing you your ruined asshole, bulging with so many candy canes, you're sure they opened a new pack of it just to complete the challenge.

"Isn't your hole so pretty, baby? Now it's time for part two of our little game," Johnny tells you before lifting you up from the ground, placing you on Jaehyun's desk, walking to the other side to fuck you properly, as you deserve of course, and before you knew it, you felt Johnny pull all the candy canes out your ass, leaving you gaping, and uncomfortably empty, you whine at the sudden loss in your butt, arching your ass up in silent notion of telling Johnny to hurry up and fuck you.

You hear a snicker behind you as Jaehyun takes a seat back on his own office chair, lightly jerking himself off, he's going to enjoy the view of your titties jiggling when his friend fucks you from behind.

Before you could whine any further, Johnny slides himself into your warmth, shuddering at the slight sticky residue the candy had leftover.

"Fuck, this isn't like anything I've felt before, holy shit," Johnny curses before pulling out, leaving the tip inside before slamming himself back into you, earning a scream of his name from you, silently thanking Jaehyun that his office is sound proofed, or he'd have lots of explaining to do.

Johnny busies himself by occupying a hand on your breast while the other is rubbing quick circles on your clit, his rough finger pads from all the moving has your legs twitching in pleasure, he wants to make a good impression if he doesnt want this to be the last time you let him hit.

You thought you'd be able to last quite a bit, but Jaehyun's suddenly standing up, his cock red at the tip, you know he wants more, so you open your mouth wide, but what you didn't expect was for him to shove one of his balls into your mouth, engulfing one of the most sensitive parts of his body into your mouth.

You suck and lick gently, switching for his other sack when you feel him tap your shoulder, slobbering onto his balls because, god, Johnny's fucking you brainless, once he's coated with your spit, he pulls away from you.

"Lift her up, Johnny, I wanna cum in her tight little pussy," Jaehyun says before you feel Johnny clasp a hand over your neck, pulling you up against his chest as if you weigh nothing, bless polar bear hybrids for having abnormal strength because you wouldn't have the energy to hold yourself up this way.

You let out a whimper when you feel Jaehyun thrust his whole length into you, giving you no time to adjust before he starts fucking you alongside his best friend, the feeling of two cocks almost breaching your thin walls separating your two holes is making you delirious, you're so far gone into sub space that all you could do was blabber words like 'so big' and 'so full' between moans of the word 'daddy' and Johnny's name.

Suddenly, the string in your core snapped and you could feel the pleasure from the tips of your toes to the pleasure points of your whole body, squirting onto Jaehyun's dick, coating him with your cum.

But the two men that have you sandwiched between them are still relentless, not stopping until they push you into overstimulation, you could feel tears prickling at the corner of your eyes and you swear you had another mini orgasm when Johnny and Jaehyun finally came together, fucking into your lifeless body with sloppy thrusts to milk the last of their orgasms, but what took you by surprise was that you haven't felt Johnny cumming despite him stopping, and that's when you felt it, the base of his cock chubbing up.

You gasp at the odd feeling, looking back in panic only to see Johnny smiling at you warmly.

"This is why I needed to stuff your ass with 22 candy canes, baby. Polar bear hybrids have knots, unlike those pretty boy elfs that you're used to fucking," Johnny says, not sure if he's implying your long term casual fling partner Jaemin or your recent one, Renjun, has he been keeping an eye on you?

You nod defeatedly, knowing that Johnny is probably the biggest you're ever going to have, and before you knew it, you feel thick ropes of cum streaming into your ass, filling you up with so much cum that Jaehyun pulls out to inspect the slight pudge on your lower belly.

"When you said the first orgasm right after hibernation is a fuck ton, I thought you were exaggerating," Jaehyun notes, still eyeing your bulged stomach.

"If only," Johnny says with a scoff, "but our baby's taking it like a champ, isn't she?" Johnny asks, in which you nod, your submissive self loving the amount of compliments Johnny showers you in.

"This is going to go on for quite a bit, can we lie down in your chambers?" Johnny asks, but he's already moving you.

Jaehyun nods, opening the door to his home, located just behind his office, and soon after, you feel the warmth of the sheets and you had drifted off to sleep, still connected to Johnny.

🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬🍬

When you woke up, the bed you were in is empty, but you hear light chatter and laughter from outside, you look down to see you're adorned in a thick sweater that you swore Jaehyun's worn before, smiling at the familiar scent, you quickly slipped onto the house slippers set beside the bed for you, padding out of the bedroom.

"Looks like someone's up," Johnny says before taking a quick sip of his coffee.

"Morning, baby, slept well?" Jaehyun asks before embracing you into a hug, you hope he isn't this affectionate with all the girls he's slept with.

"Yeah, what about the both of you?" you ask, turning to Johnny too.

"It'd be an outrage not to sleep well after yesterday's events, baby, and speaking of which, take a look at the forum, you're trending and everyone's trying to guess who it is," Johnny says before Jaehyun opens up his phone for you to see.

There it is, a photo of your ass filled with candy canes, and some comments down below.

There's no way anyone could beat that next year.

If you don't got at least 15 up your ass, then you'd look like a loser next to this person.

I really wanted to try the challenge this year, guess we just got to work harder:(((

"Wow," you say, speechless at all the comments directed at you.

"Wow indeed, baby, and about last night, me and Jaehyun would really love to keep up with whatever we have between us, it's not everyday we meet a champ like you in bed, so.... what do you say, baby? Wanna trade hearts this Christmas?" Johnny asks.

"We swear we won't give it away next year," Jaehyun adds on, eyeing you hopefully.

"As long as the only tears I'm shedding are from sex then I'm in," you say, excited for what's to come for the three of you.

[inappropriateuseof]

Totally inappropriate use of a candy cane

[hardstraykidshours]

stray kids fic-mas: day 10

pairing: none, just seungmin

genre: smut (suggestive), comedy, 18+ (minors dni)

summary: seungmin is a little too good at white elephant gifts.

length: 328

warnings: profanity, sexual/suggestive content, lots of talk about sex toys but none actually used, nsfw 18+ (minors dni)

ficmas 2022 masterlist

seungmin is an absolute menace when it comes to white elephant parties. he's always trying to find a way to win at every single one (even though there's literally no such thing as a winner or loser at a white elephant exchange). if there's a game involved, he's either working it to his advantage or completely sabotaging it. but that's not the worst part. in fact, if that was all he did it wouldn't be that bad. you're used to him being overly competitive about literally everything. 

the part where he takes things a little too far is with the gifts that he brings to the party. he always manages to bring the most outrageously bizarre and inappropriate gift he can possibly find. and since everything is technically anonymous and seungmin has an excellent poker face, you and the other members are the only ones who ever know that it's seungmin who brought the weird festive sex toy to the party. 

and not only does he always stick to the holiday theme, but he also somehow always manages to find something weirder each time. just when you thought it couldn't get worse than the sugar plum fairy bullet vibrator or the giant candy cane dildo, his gift last weekend included a bright green christmas tree butt plug complete with a big gold star and lights that actually work. no matter how many times you ask him, he refuses to tell you where he finds this stuff. at this point you're convinced he's having them custom made just so he can fuck with people when they open the white elephant gift.

and if he's not finding a way to "win" at each party, he's focusing his maniacal efforts on making sure his gifts end up in the hands of whoever would be the most uncomfortable. this isn't always as easy as it sounds though because for some reason changbin keeps trying to go home with seungmin''s weird sex gifts.

[for-a-longlongtime]

OK first of all - YES @missredherring! I love that!

Secondly...

@prolix-yuy @missredherring @sp00kymulderr @boliv-jenta-- just so you know, @morallyinept posted 5.3K words of pure Sleazy Dieter mall Santa filth yesterday, including very inappropriate use of candy canes. She ho-ho-ho'ed that fucker allll the way.

PS: that sleazy!Dieter is the same one from her Backalley Bang fic which is based on THAT picture/shoot.

PPS 2: Oops, I'm so sorry, I noticed just now that this fic was already linked in the comments! My bad I got overexcited....

Washed up actor Dieter as a mall Santa. Maybe you go for a family thing in the day and he catches your eye. Come back in the evening for a little private lap sitting. Is this anything?

[pumpkinsy0]

christmas hcs bc tis the season BITCH

•the gang calls pony rudolph during the holidays

•darry and dally in ugly ass christmas sweaters>>>>>

•soda is always humming a christmas song when hes cooking

•curly makes inappropriate versions of christmas songs

•either that or he just plays it loud asf in tims car

•darry made the mistake of letting him use the speakers once

•tim makes good ass hot chocolate suck my ass if u think other wise

•pony is eating candy canes like it’s the only thing in existence rn

•two bit gagging when steve and soda or pony and curly kiss under the mistletoe is also a thought going on here

•darry had to confiscate curlys mistletoe bc he just had that shit in his pocket and would PURPOSELY put it over his and ponys head in front of the guy

•then curly just took mf leaves and berries as his back up mistletoe 💀

•once instead of saying “our Father” two bit said “our daddy” and everyone looked at him w disgust

•i mean it, he was put into the corner of shame for that shit

•ponys not allowed to wear a santa hat, just a headband w reindeer antlers and ears

•tim, pony, soda, and darry SLAVE over a hot stove for these absolute heathens

•pony and soda r always in charge of desserts

•as a joke curly pretends to b santa to get pony to sit on his lap

•if theres a piano for some reason curly likes playing christmas jingles on it

•also right after halloween christmas is his favorite holiday :D

•its a tradition that pony always puts the star or angel on top in the curtis house shut up

•in the shepard house it’s tradition that angela puts the angel on the top get it get it get it, do u get the joke pls tell me u do, pls get it

•she TRIED putting her picture on the tree once but tim crosses the line there🙄

•soda and curly r the mfs that puts a bow on their head go “i am ur gift ;D”

•angela looks hot in those santa dress stuff, shut ur MOUTH

•curly would probably wear those ugly sweaters w working lights

[shallitickleyournerdbutton]

After the heartache of the Volume 8 finale, I would like to return to a happier point in the show and suggest some memes/jokes that I like to think the students at Beacon would have had. More closely inline with the RWBY Chibi-verse, than the actual show - where Nothing Bad Ever Happened.

"Who's child is this?" being used to refer to Ruby - the youngest student at Beacon - when she's left unsupervised and/or doing something odd.

"I'd let Glynda punish/whip me for one corn chip."

Every now and again "Missing - Have you seen this person?" posters for Professor Peach will pop up around campus. No one knows who it is that keeps making them.

Vomit Boy candids being taken and shared any time Jaune is Suffering™️ on some form of transport.

The Great One plush of Pyrrha exists in-universe... and becomes the go-to prize for any stupid competition between the students. There's at least a dozen of these dolls on campus now, owned by various people and won as "spoils of war."

There's a dedicated chalkboard in the combat room for tallying how many times Nora has launched someone into the stratosphere. Notable mentions are listed on the board alongside her of other people who have achieved this feat - including Yang, Yatsuhashi, and Glynda.

(She launched both Port and Oobleck one day when they kept annoying her. Sometimes, their screams can still be heard if you listen closely enough.)

"There's that old guy again..." "Oh, shopkeep? Yea, he's everywhere. Don't think too much about it."

This leads to "Don't think too much about it." becoming something of a slogan for every time anything unusual happens.

"Candy canes, kids! One for Sun Wukong, one for Yang Xiao-Long, ooh four for Coco Adel, you go Coco!"

"I--"

"Andnoneforweissschneebye~"

Team STRQ having something akin to legend status at Beacon, whispered in hushed voices for fear and reverence of their names. There's a war between the students regarding team JNPR as their successors vs. the students who insist JNPR are not anywhere near worthy of such a title.

"How many team CRDLs does it take to beat Pyrrha?"

Blurry fancam-style videos of the Qrow vs. Winter fight out in the courtyard being traded around like baseball cards with other students. Some try and manufacture a "rematch" of this with the materials they've got - trying to get Ruby and Weiss to fight each other. 

That weird sing-song "HellOooOo~" that Yang sometimes does being mimicked by everyone. And I mean everyone.

Any time there's a significant lull in conversations or classes, someone often asks "Why are we here?" which never fails to make everyone in the vicinity groan.

"Ozpin is compensating for something" jokes about his office chair - including at least one popular response being "it's the war crimes", without them knowing just how accurate they actually are.

"On a scale of Ren-Nora, how excited do you want me to be?"

"Ladies Love Lavender" referring to Lisa Lavender having her own in-universe fandom mostly comprised of women. (Lavender being associated with lesbians irl, and I just think this would be funny.)

The sight of Ren just picking up and carrying Nora away from something is so commonplace that other people start doing it to their friends when they Need To Stop.

"Why is Blake's bow so big?" "Because it's full of secrets."

Blake being a closet faunus being such a poorly hidden secret that by the time she finally takes off the bow no one actually even notices. 

The betting pool surrounding exactly what it is in Ozpin's cup - coffee being one of the least popular options, and souls being the top choice.

Using Yatsuhasi as a unit of measurement. 

Photoshopping adorable images of Velvet onto various "cute" animal memes.

Everyone wanting to be spanked by Coco Adel. 

"I'd let Fox blow me up too."

"Why is Weiss' hair so long?" "To reflect the length of her father's crimes."

Everyone mimicking Pyrrha's memetic "I'm sorry!" anytime they apologise for anything. Even going as far to do it while apologising to things that don't require apologies - like inanimate objects.

"Are Port and Oobleck, you know... 💅?"

In fact, just that 💅 being used to refer to a large number of people at Beacon. Actual LGBT students picking this up and using it towards grimm when they're attacked to question the sexuality/homophobia of the grimm targeting them over their peers.

Threatening Neptune with water anytime he flirts with a girl who is clearly Not Interested in him.

No one knowing who, exactly, the other two members of team SSSN are - with wild theories abounding about who they may be. Popular choices include Shopkeep, Zwei, and Professor Peach.

This persists even after their tournament fights where they're shown. Scarlet and Sage are perfectly content with this, and participate.

"Arslan's/Pyrrha's back must be aching from constantly carrying her entire team."

And the respective responses of, "Reese/Nora are alright."

Similar jokes about Glynda also carrying the entire faculty/academy on her back.

"Salutations!"

The war between the "Irondaddy" fanbase, and his haters - who refer to him with various derogatory versions of his name. "Metalpenis", "Coppercock", "Chromeshaft", etc.

Anytime someone is doing something ~questionable~ donning a pair of glasses and/or imitating Oz or Oobleck pushing them back up their nose with accompanying menacing body language. (Kubrick Stare optional.)

Mercury having a foot fetish, courtesy of the people who caught him sniffing shoes at the festival.

"Did <character> just die?" "You know, it was really unclear." any time someone takes some insane damage in a fight and isn't seen for some time afterwards.

Everyone trying to locate and get a pic of the ~mysterious~ fourth member of team CMSN, who has only ever been spotted once - her tournament fight in the first round. Beacon's version of "Where's Wally?"

The Sympathy Fund for Emerald and her one-sided crush on Cinder. "She could honestly do so much better."

People offering themselves up as tribute to spar with Pyrrha/Yang/Coco/Sun just so they can be beaten up by the hottest people on campus.

"I drink milk!" being used as a defensive argument in wildly inappropriate contexts.

Naming grimm really boring names and attempting to keep them as pets. 

The innumerous times Port has allowed a "zoo-break" to happen under his watch and everyone having to assist in recovering his prized subjects.

"Where the fuck are all the fourth years?" "Ozpin's soul collection."

Candid shots of Glynda Suffering™️ being shared similarly to the ones of Vomit Boy.

Ranking people based on their Patience Levels - Pyrrha, Ren, Glynda, Emerald, and Fox being frequent top markers based on the bullshit they put up with from their respective teams.

"Saint Pyrrha" being a common nickname for her, and her neverending niceness towards people who absolutely do not not deserve it.

Weiss' "Hey!" being replicated amongst the student body and slowly growing more and more high-pitched in its replication until it eventually just becomes a shrill noise. Even so, everyone still knows what it means - and Weiss is absolutely unamused by all of this.

In fact, a lot of early!Weiss' comments being mercilessly mocked by everyone - "I'm a victim!" being one of them.

Renowned fear permitting amongst the student body regarding Yang's red eyes meaning Serious Business. Morphs into references of "going full Yang" to mean having rage-fuelled temper tantrums.

"Never miss a beat, never miss a beat" becoming a mantra for focusing on a task. This inspires several remixes of Neon saying it, and again with no one knowing who it is making them.

By all means, feel free to add any more that you all think of! I could use a laugh!

Also, check the notes for additions!

[sweeterthanthis]

Naughty Or Nice

My entry for @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ and @sagechanoafterdark​Holiday Challenge!

Prompt: Getting caught nibbling on forbidden holiday treats.

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Female Reader

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, explicit language, fingering, inappropriate use of a candy cane, slight overstimulation, orgasm denial, use of the pet name ‘kitten’, mentions of anal sex, very slight anal play. 18+

Word Count: 2k

“What are you doing hiding in here, Kitten?”

Ransom found you in the pantry, nibbling absentmindedly on a peppermint candy cane, where he’d sent you to get the fruit cake you’d insisting on baking all the way back in August. You could hear his exact words when he’d found you mixing the ingredients in his spacious kitchen that Sunday morning.

“Its fuckin’ August, Christmas is months away. Forget about that and come back to bed, I need you.”

You knew he wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about Christmas, and he didn’t try to hide it either, but for you, it was a big deal. The one time of the year that you could forget all of your worries and relax in the company of your loved ones.

Popping the peppermint flavoured treat back in your mouth, you grabbed the large plastic tub from the top shelf, his eyes raking up over the backs of your bare thighs, your woollen midi skirt hiking up.

“You know, I seem to remember you giving me a ticking off yesterday. Candy canes are for decoration, not allowed to eat them until Christmas Day. That’s what you said, isn’t it?” He purred, the space between you growing smaller as he stepped closer, his chest inches from your back.

His tone was slightly mocking, but there was an edge to it that made your tummy flip. You’d been so busy, falling asleep the moment your head hit the pillow for days. Ransom had made it clear that he wanted you, his hands roaming all over you the second your eyes flickered open that morning.

“Well, I mean, yeah I did say that, but it’s Christmas Eve. So it’s basically Christmas now, right?” You shrugged, spinning on the toe of your boot, candy cane dangling between your lips. You almost dropped the container when you collided with his big, strong torso, a gentle oof slipping from your mouth.

Ransom’s eyes sparkled with mischief, his jaw ticking when you tried to side step him, the motion practically impossible in such a small space. You moved left, he moved left. You moved right, he moved right. You had so much to prepare, and you were growing frustrated.

“Could you move? My parents will be here in like half an hour, and I want everything to be perfect.”

You couldn’t help the puzzled look that spread across your features when he took the plastic container from your hands, setting it back down on the shelf and placing his hands on his hips, his demeanour growing impatient when you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest and meeting his stare with your own.

“Candy canes are for Christmas Day.” He repeated again. “That’s. What. You.” He plucked the sweet from between your lips, settling it between his own and rolling it around on his tongue before finishing. “Said.”

You felt heat rise at the apex of your thighs, his pink tongue glistening as swept it across his plump bottom lip. You didn’t want to give in, to let him win. He was being ridiculous. But fuck, he looked so damn good in that cream sweater, the scent of his cologne filling your nostrils and making you weak.

“Ransom, please, they’ll be here soon.” You whimpered, bouncing on your heels just a little, his lips twitching up into a smirk as he pressed his torso up against your front, caging you between him and the shelf behind you.

“Half an hour, huh? I can get a lot done in half an hour, Kitten. You know that.”

And boy, did you. The things that man could do with his mouth had you screaming, begging, kicking out in submission. You couldn’t count the nights he’d had you pinned to the bed, devouring you like you were his favourite meal.

“I’ve been very patient; I know how much you love Christmas. Running around here trying to make everything perfect for everyone. Fuck, its adorable.”

His knuckles grazed against the column of your throat, your head tilting to the side as if instinctively, baring yourself for him like an obedient little puppy.

The satisfied hum that rumbled in his chest vibrated through you, your nipples pebbling beneath your soft, cotton jumper.

“And all the while, it turns out you were the one who needed a lesson in patience. Isn’t that funny, Kitten?”

He brought the sweet treat up to your mouth, the peppermint tingling against the soft flesh of your bottom lip, your tongue snaking out as he yanked it away from your reach, dangling it like a carrot above your head; his thigh nestled between your own, pressing up against your aching core.

It took everything inside of you not to grind down onto it, to create some kind of friction, anything to sate the growing need between your legs.

“Ransom…” you keened, arching yourself into him, his hot breath fanning your pulse point. Your eyes flickered closed, cheeks flushed with blood, all thoughts of your impending guests withering from your mind as lust clouded your brain.

“Look at you, haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already wrecked.” One firm hand wrapped around your waist, he pulled you farther against him, your hands instantly reaching for the rack behind you to steady yourself, your skirt hitched up around your hips from the positioning. “So fucking sexy.”

Your feet barely touched the floor, perched atop his thigh, one of his hands bracing against the wall behind you and the other dipping down between your bodies, a shudder running through you as he pulled your panties to one side.

“Gonna ruin my trousers, you’re drenched for me.” You jolted when you felt a cool sensation spread through your core, your clit pulsing when he swiped the peppermint cane back and forth across it. “You feel those tingles, Kitten?”

Your mouth fell open, nodding mindlessly as you lost yourself in the feeling of his strong, muscular thigh pushing up against you, your legs clamping either side of him, hips winding down shamelessly.

“Tell me what you want, baby. Beg me.” His movements halted then, his makeshift toy tracing soft lines between your pussy lips, your tight hole quivering in anticipation. “Beg me.”

You didn’t want to, didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, your one working brain cell screaming at you not to give in and feed his ego. But fuck, you just couldn’t stop yourself.

 “Please, please touch me. Can’t—can’t take this.” You whined, your pathetic mewls making you cringe as he grinned wolfishly at your flushed face. “Ransom, please.”

“Good girl.” You gasped when his thick digit slid into your tight channel, your walls fluttering around his knuckle, one hand reaching around, fingernails biting into the back of his neck when he added a second. “Fuck yourself on my fingers, give it to me.”

You did, rolling your hips down, bracing yourself against the shelf behind you, rising and falling until his knuckles nudged at your swollen clit. The tingles returned then, building in your core, your clit numb yet overworked and throbbing all at once.

Obscene sounds echoed through the air around you, the sloppy squelch of your cunt squeezing his fingers growing louder each time you drove yourself down onto him, tits bouncing beneath your jumper at the force of your eagerness.

“You gonna cum all over my hand, Kitten? Make those pretty eyes roll back in that skull for me? Come on, baby.”

Ransom goaded you, ground his impossibly thick thigh against your sex until you were panting, hooking the sticky candy into your mouth. “See why I spend so much time between those perfect legs? Tastes good, doesn’t it? Oh, you’re nearly there aren’t you?”

You could only hum in approval, words catching in your throat each time you tried to speak, babbling incoherently as you felt yourself tipping over the edge, fire spreading in your belly, your muscles on the verge of sporadic contraction.

Your eyes shot open, cunt empty when he pulled his hand away, laving at his digits like the cat that got the cream. You wanted to punch him when he threw that devilish smirk at you, so fucking proud, such an asshole.

“Patience, Kitten. Remember?”

Both hands pressed against his chest, you shoved him, huffing in annoyance at his trickery, but he was solid, and he didn’t move an inch. Your eye catching the time displayed on your watch, you panicked. Ten minutes. Your parents would be arriving in ten minutes.

“I haven’t got time for your shit, Ransom. Move.”

But the thing about Ransom? He loved a challenge, thrived on it. And the way your fury lit up your eyes, your chest heaving as you tried to assert your dominance, well he just couldn’t help himself.

You nearly fell when he pulled his thigh from between your legs, spinning you round and pressing you against the shelving unit, cans and condiments wobbling and threatening to fall.

“You’re so fucking cute when you’re angry.” He crooned, his nose tracing the curve of your throat, teeth grazing your pulse point teasingly. “Not nice to be teased is it? All these treats laying around the house, and I can’t enjoy any of them.”

You felt something probing at your pussy, sinking into you in one easy movement, something too small to be his fingers. And then you felt it again, that familiar tingling sensation riddling your insides, sticky sweet residue collecting at your entrance.

“Bet you wish this was my cock, hmm? This little candy cane doesn’t satisfy you one bit, does it baby?”

When his thumb pressed against your asshole, you jerked forward, the sharp edge of the shelf digging into your collarbones and making you wince in discomfort. “Gonna fuck you here later, and you’re gonna take it. Gonna be a good little girl for me, aren’t you?”

You shook your head, biting down so hard on your lip you could feel the blood bursting to get out. Yet even though you were furious, even though he’d driven half way to insanity, you still found yourself fucking yourself back onto the flimsy, thin, peppermint stick – and he chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah you are. You’re such a greedy little cockslut for me, and we both know it.”

Yelping when he pinched at your swollen nub, you babbled incoherently, winding your hips back against him, chasing your release as it crept back up on you, toes curling in your boots.

Ransom traced tiny circles, coaxing you closer and closer, his lips feathering against your ear, whispering all kinds of filth.

“Please, please let me cum…” you sobbed, half aware that at any moment, that doorbell was going to ring and rip you away from your pleasure. The walls of your cunt were aflame, peppermint kissing your most precious flesh and leaving a warmth in its place that drove you wild.

You felt like your head would pop at any given second, eyes bulging as you arched your back, chasing as much contact with his fingertips as they pressed up against your trembling cunt, ghosting against your swollen nub. It was enough, you were there, you were so fucking close…

The jolly sound of your Christmas themed doorbell rang out through the air, sending you jolting into the shelf, a can of peaches falling to the floor next to your feet. “Fuck!”

“Looks like our guests are here.” Ransom sang, popping the candy cane back between his lips, the wet patch on his thigh prominent and very, very obvious. He turned on his heel, humming in amusement. “Don’t forget the cake, Kitten!”

The afternoon was torturous, your mother rambling about the local gossip she’d gathered from her weekly book club, and your father probing Ransom on his intentions with his ‘little girl’. You lost count of the amount of times you’d rolled your eyes, laughed along with jokes you hadn’t even heard, because every time you looked over at Ransom, the sight had your thighs clenching in need.

He was as smug as you’d ever seen him, rolling what was left of that damn candy cane around on his tongue, smirking at you, and winking knowingly each time you swallowed down your arousal.

“I’m sure you’ll take care of my little princess, wont you Hugh?” Your Father pressed again, his warmth and affection for you warming your heart despite the slick pool of moisture gathering in your panties.

“Daddy’s little girl is safe with me sir; you can be damn sure of that.”

[kaijime]

how about suna + 21 candy cane?

“don’t worry I’ll be sure to take my sweet time punishing you” with suna rintarou

cw. brat reader, spanking, brat taming suna, bondage, toys (vibrator)

wc. 1k words

a/n. 😔 *dies for suna*

The sound of rain outside your window increased, you probably wouldn’t be able to go out anytime soon. So what else could you do but mess around with what you had?

Suna. Messing around and teasing him was never a good idea, it always leads to the same place. A punishment. But maybe today he would be more calm. How wrong you were.

It wasn’t a common occurrence that you sit down next to him when he was watching this show, you always called it trash, so what could you be planning. He doesn’t even have to look away from the screen to notice your devious intentions.

Your hand sneaked away from your thigh into his, touching the soft skin and letting your hands roam. This time he looks to his side, watching your curious yet evil expression as you shift a bit in your seat, probably to be more comfortable with what you were about to do.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked while he gripped your wrist away from him.

“I’m not doing anything, I’m just touching your thigh” you said casually, but he knew that wasn’t the truth. He knew exactly what you wanted to do, but he was willing to see how far you’d get before he took control.

Your hand resumed rubbing around his leg, sometimes squeezing the skin, sometimes you ‘accidentally’ let your hand slip and touch his dick, all enough to drive him to the limit. Poor you, didn’t know what you were getting into.

“Stop messing around, I’m not going to repeat myself” he takes your hand in his and places it on your own leg, pushing it away from him and hoping you would quit being such a brat. But how wrong he was.

This time you didn’t even bother with building up the tension by touching his thigh, you went straight to the point and took his dick out of its restraints, watching it stand tall and proud as it made a light tap sound when it hit his stomach.

He brought his hand down on yours, slapping it away. Before you can even process what is happening he manhandles you into laying on his lap, your body falling limp to his touch, and you can feel his throbbing cock on the side of your abdomen.

“I told you to stop messing around” his hand slapped the exposed skin of your ass, leaving a red print clearly visible. You moaned at the contact and put your hands into fists at the pain.

“Now, I’m going to slap your ass, and you’re going to count with me and say thank you for each and every one of them, understood?” He ordered.

“Why should I say thank you? It doesn’t even hurt that much” you replied. Terrible mistake. He scoffs under his breath before slapping you with all the force he had.

Normally he would hold himself back, he knew you liked the pain but he still didn’t want to hurt you. Of course, on occasions like these, his one hundred percent was necessary, because who else was gonna put you in your place?

He threw you over his shoulder, walking to your shared room and manhandling you until you were spread out beneath him. He took off your shorts, and only then he noticed they weren’t any ordinary shorts, they were a pair of his boxers.

He hadn’t noticed because of the oversized shirt you were wearing, which was his as well, they hugged the curve of your ass in the best way possible, but this wasn’t the time to distract himself with this.

“Naughty girl, as if touching me wasn’t inappropriate enough, you’re going around the house wearing these” he took them off and threw them away, they weren’t the main attraction right now.

“Would you rather I wear nothing? That’s so mean, Rintarou...” you said teasingly. You knew better than to call him by his full name, he would always like to hear your soft ‘Rin-!’.

“Rintarou? Hm, you’re really looking for a problem today, aren’t you?” He looked down at your dripping cunt, slick dripping down your inner thigh, and when he used his fingers to spread your lips apart lewd wet sounds filled the room “Dripping already, what’s got you so worked up? Is it because you’re finally gonna get what you want?”

“How would you know what I want?” You sat up on the bed and leaned close to his face, your lips barely inches from each other, and just when you thought he was finally gonna kiss you he laughed in your face.

“I know exactly what you want. Dumb little bitch, you want me to pound this cunny into the mattress, leave your legs shaking and fill you up with my cum, and maybe that’s just what I’m going to do” he finally pressed his lips against yours, and wet kissing sounds mixed with the way he ran his fingers between your folds only made you gush even more.

He had you just where he wanted, submitting to anything he might do because this is what you wanted all along. It was a lovely sight, for sure, one he desperately wanted to ruin.

He put your hands over your head, binding you to the bed poles with handcuffs he kept in the drawers and took out a small bullet vibrator, the one you hate so much.

“N-no, Rin I don’t want that... anything but that” you pulled at your wrists in hopes to escape, and you whined when he turned it on and examined the little toy. It all fell to deaf ears, he wouldn’t pay any mind to your pleads until you were a soaked mess beneath him.

“Don’t worry I’ll be sure to take my sweet time punishing you” he had completely ignored your cries just to put the vibrating toy close to your heat, having it ghost over your cunt and making you want it even more, if it meant he would eventually fuck your brains out then it didn’t matter anymore.

“Please, Rin!” You pleaded, but it was too late. He’d already pressed it to your needy clit, the little button pulsing at the vibrations around it. He circled it around the bud and watched as your hips bucked in the air at the friction, until he used his other hand to press your stomach and keep you grounded on the bed.

“Isn’t this what you wanted? You’ve been teasing me all day, it’s time someone put you in your place”

©️ kaijime | all content belongs to kaijime, do not modify or repost

[serenawitchwriter]

BNHA fusion (Bakusquad/Todoroki)

TodoBaku

i pity endeavor

somehow angrier than bakugou? like it’s less of a tsundere, shouty way and more of a punk rock 100% ready to throw down at the slightest provocation

has less tolerance for spice but will eat it anyway

spicy noodles

a lot blunter with his actual thoughts

so much fire, i’m imagining because of Baku's chemical secretion they could possibly make some kind of plasma, though i doubt that makes scientific sense.

also shoots steam out of one their hands

spiky red and white hair, not split down the middle but streaky. a bit like natsuo only more integrated

red eyes, no heterochromia, but keeps the scar

handsome, but constantly looks a bit constipated

really self-critical

incredibly good at mocking people. easily makes people cry with his insults because they’ll attack the thing about you that you don’t like

surprisingly unaggressive towards midoriya. like bakugou’s rivalry/aggression toward him is somehow dampened by todoroki’s love of mido

also tolerant of specifically mina, uraraka, and kirishima. everyone else push their buttons to the point of pissing them off.

i’d like to see them fight dabi because it feels like they’d have similar vibes, except todobaku is less theater kid.

would absolutely wear a leather jacket

despite their angry punk energy, they still pretty anal about self care and schedules. like they’re straight edge nerds about everything but fighting

KiriTodo

chaotic

like they aren’t a bad person but they are a dumbass and the shit that they get up to is spectacularly wild

completely red hair, silky texture. either slicks it back or spikes it into a mohawk. depends on the day

still scarred, red and blue eyes.

shark teeth but in a softer shaped face

usually shirtless, especially when it’s inappropriate

will eat literally anything

incredibly insecure but honest about it

clingy to his friends in an almost desperate way. like his friends will always be their for him but even then he’s struggling to feel secure about it

slow burn anger, but is the most terrifying person to see angry. you do not want to see him get genuinely pissed

an incredibly kind person

fantastic with animals

another elemental quirk user

i have the mental image of a rock golem running at the enemy while on fire and covered in ice. again, avoid pissing him off

pauses a lot while talking and uses a lot of filler words like ‘like, um, and uh”. almost like a valley girl

deceptively smart and emotionally mature. like they have their moments of being profound, of getting where others are coming from, of doing something totally genius

but is also a dumbass the vast majority of the time. like you’d be shocked at how stupid he can be

can’t fucking read

affectionate towards Bakugou and Midoriya. thinks they’re all best friends. isn’t entirely wrong. loves Mina as well

cuddly as hell, but is not comfortable to cuddle with. he’s too hard and he’s never the right temperature

TodoMina

chaotic part 2

a weird combo, probably not very stable

candy cane colored curls, with a pink transition color in their hair. still has horns.

it’s hard to tell that they’re scarred with pink skin. heterochromic eyes, one blue, the other yellow with black sclara

has a creepy laugh

fully into being an alien and is attempting to convince people it’s true, not in a joking way.

more plasma options in terms of quirks. i don’t know how freezing or heating acid effects it, but the effect can probably be used for something

will do basically anything they put their mind to, no matter how absurd. once they make a decision they’re going to do it hell or high water

shift back and forth between being incredibly hyper and on the ball, and being exhausted and antisocial. 

overly invested in gossip and discovering the truth. nosy as hell

impossible to predict

probably into yoga?

manic pixie dream girl? definitely quirky

has a mean sense of humor, and is sometimes just mean in general. generally has good intentions but won’t hesitate to cut people down when they feel they ‘deserve it’

candy addiction

TodaKami

very stable

very funny and chill

stoner vibes regardless of if they do drugs

zones out constantly

black lightning in the white half, red lightning in yellow half of hair. fine and silky as hell

green eyes, no scar. probably needs glasses but doesn’t have them yet

weather powers. can make storms, clouds, effect temperature. can be effected by their own weather and injures themselves often

but is an op fighter anyway

both a memer and conspiracy theorist but in an entertaining way. could have a buzzfeed unsolved style show if they find the right skeptic. i feel like iida would be a cute partner for that. obviously todokami is the unhinged one

will eat literal garbage. i could see them eating from a dumpster because the pizza looked okay

rude mouth, says what he’s thinking regardless of how hurtful it is. isn’t intentionally trying to be mean.

obsessed with dragons

constantly tired. they sleep and sleep but it is never enough

pretty cuddly and quiet when zoned out

a fantastic hugger

baby

Todosero

weird but in an inexplicably normal way

like they’re not getting bullied for it, they’re not subverting society or being overly chaotic. they’re just kinda... odd.

possibly a fae in disguise?

fixed looking smile

scarred. small black eyes. hair is split to be red and white. but the roots are black

obviously still has tape elbows. quirk is probably some kinda fire and ice whip. makes a lot of icicles as well. has many creative applications, especially because they’re both range attacks

executive dysfunction anyone?

loves manga, particularly weird artsy kind, or horror and mysteries

will chill in high places for hours. probably makes a full spiderweb or cocoon or hammock.

just likes getting away from people

wears Hawaiian shirts casually. on the tame side

loves the beach

loves noodles more than life itself. has a mission to try every type of noodle

probably gets stuck places and gets lost easily

makes people uncomfortable. kind of person who just stands silently and stares at you. will wait until you notice him to speak. so sometimes he’ll just be standing silently behind you for five minute and than you’ll finally turn around and have a heart attack,

will otherwise jut kinda stand at the periphery of groups and stare blankly. like that vine of the guy disassociating at a party

never quite jives with the conversations, timing always seems off. they’re just really awkward

pretty fun loving given the opportunity. hanging out with friends is their favorite activity

vibes fairly well with ojiro and hagakure

TodoJirou

cool

makes ice puns, which is lame but gay/lesbian solidarity part 2

white and purple hair in a bob. no scar. has the earphone jacks. purple and silver eyes. petite

deserves to wear sunglasses at all times. probably doesn’t but they deserve to

incredibly chill

actually pretty lazy given the opportunity

still plays the bass and is quite passionate about it

husky singing voice. it’s good but unique, most suited towards indie stuff, not belting Broadway.

plays with earjacks constantly

in love with momo

powers aren’t particularly enhanced by each other. have to get pretty creative to make it effective. don’t mind that much, they aren’t trying to be number one, they’re just herre to help

probably always in a leather jacket

generally pretty sweet, especially towards close friends. it’s a quiet kindness. more shown by putting extra food on your plate when you’re not eating enough, instead of demanding you eat more verbally

sardonic

stable

easily annoyed, especially by injustice. if something is unfair they’ll get mad

generally incredibly mellow, one of the less feral fusion overall

(masterlist)

[inappropriateuseof]

borderline inappropriate use of said candy canes

[dollfaceeeeee]

What it would be like to have Spencer Reid as a partner..🥺💓

My soft bean. That is all.

He is an intensely captivating person, so don’t take him lightly. He has levels upon levels of personalities inside of him that will most likely surprise you. The side of him that holds his anger, for one, surprised the hell out of me, and scared me just a bit too.

He may be one of the most awkward people you might ever meet, but it’s so adorable you won’t even care. When he rambles on about everything and anything, all you will want to do is just sit and listen. And trust me, it will fluster him just a bit.

He is one of the most fiercely loyal people you will ever know. He will drop anything and everything at any time for you, whether it’s something as silly as you just feeling uncomfortable at a bar. He will prove his loyalty over and over, so make sure you give him the same in return.

He’s not a secretive person, not at all, but when it comes to the job he will keep that from you at all costs if he thinks you can’t handle it. Some things should just stay buried, and it’s almost as painful for him to talk about it as much as it is to ask about it. Leave that part of him alone. Be his peace, okay? He needs it.

He is a MAJOR book nerd, and reads books at insane speeds that even I can’t keep up with. His brain is firing on all cylinders at any given point throughout the day. He will remember shit, shit you don’t even recall telling him, but man he is insanely good at that. And don’t worry, he will remind you if you’ve forgotten. He is a sweetheart like that.

He has a bit of an OCD problem, and likes to have his stuff folded and coordinated a certain way. Just don’t touch any of his clothes, please. It will drive him crazy, and you will just feel bad about it. However, his books are free reign. I think he slightly loves seeing you reading his books, honestly.

He drinks coffee like a fiend, so if you get up earlier than him, which is unlikely, but if you do, just start a pot of coffee for him. For reference, it’s one cream, two sugars, and he likes it most in his Crazy Sock Man mug you go him for Christmas two years ago. He says that it just always makes sure he has a good day, but I think it just reminds him of you. Whatever the case, he will love you for it.

You don’t know what to get him for a birthday or Christmas gift? Socks, ties, books, scarves, or coffee mugs. Make sure you pick out the craziest ones you can find, but with everything BESIDES the ties. You might find it cute to get him the candy cane tie, but Hotch might find it severely inappropriate. I’ve learned my lesson, so if you want to try, go for it. You will learn too.

He will tell you he loves you any chance he can, because, in his words, there is no saying when the last time will be the last time in his line of work. Appreciate that boy for the insanely good person he is, and never miss a phone call or text from him. And never forget to say I love you back. Never.

The team means the world to him, and so do you, so just try and make an effort to spend time with them too. He won’t ask it of you, so don’t feel pressured, but doing it because you want to will make him so happy. Especially Derek. I think he might be his favorite, but don’t tell the others.

He showers obsessively, so he will always smell clean and fresh, like detergent, coffee, peppermint, and this cologne he swears by that has a very light citrus scent. He will never come home from a job and not shower before seeing you, so even if he’s in there for a long time, don’t worry, he may just need some time to process the job. It’s okay to let him decompress. He isn’t going anywhere, I promise.

He doesn’t use pet names most of the time, but I’ve caught him using babe and sweetheart once or twice. Don’t think of it that he doesn’t love you, he just likes to use your name. He is a very formal gentleman, and that isn’t going to change.

He is both a verbal lover and a physical one, which makes him the complete package. He will recite paragraphs from Pride and Prejudice to you, leave little notes for you around the house before he leaves for work, and tell you how gorgeous you look in blue, but he will also reach across the table and hold your hand at dinner, pull you in for a hug after a hard day at work and just keep you there for a while, and fall asleep on your chest to the sounds of Star Trek coming from the TV. Just run your fingers through his hair and watch him for just a little while. Put it to memory, if you can. There will be many nights you will wish he was beside you and not working a job.

Making set plans is hard for him, given what he does for a living as an FBI agent, so you have to have a high level of patience with him. Don’t get upset when he has to cancel more than once, because he really has no control over it. When crime calls, he follows. Trust me though, he will always make it up to you.

There is nothing to ever be jealous of when you’re with him. He is never going to look in another woman’s direction, much less do anything to make you feel jealous, because he’s already more than happy with what he has. However, he is a very jealous person when it comes to you, so make sure you don’t give him the satisfaction of having to curse out anyone for you. He will do it, believe me, and he will enjoy it more than you think.

Contrary to popular belief, he has a very harsh temper, and he will fly off the handle with certain things. Don’t test his patience, because you will be surprised how thin the line is between his good side and his bad side. He doesn’t take kindly to shit that makes him mad, including you.

I wouldn’t say he is overprotective, but he will definitely be overbearing when it comes to your safety and well being. Remember, he knows the kind of people that are out there, the monsters behind closed doors, and has seen them more than once. Trust him when he tells you to not do something, or go somewhere without him. He isn’t being controlling, he just wants you to be safe. He will never feel like you’re safe outside of the house unless he’s with you.

Sadly, he isn’t big about pets, but he will take you to pet stores to pet any animal that you want, whenever you want. Just don’t think he will allow any at home. He hates pet hair on his clothes, and is kind of selfish about his time with you and only you. It’s silly, I know, but just trust me.

He will teach you what to do in dire situations, how to act around predators, and how to stay calm when you’re afraid. Don’t be scared of this, because he will never let anything happen to you, but just take it into consideration that things like this can happen when you’re with him. Be vigilant, pay attention to what he says, and never take it as a joke.

His personality varies on what kind of day he has had, but normally he is a very silly, gentle kind of person. He does have a harsher side, as I’ve said, but he does like to play pranks, crack jokes, and just goof off with you all the time. It’s his way of making himself feel better, so just play along with him. It’s a big coping mechanism for him, and he will use it often.

As much as he is awkward, he is a steady partner, someone you can rely on with even the stupidest doubts, and will always listen no matter what. He will love you unconditionally, and will stick by you even if you feel like the entire world is against you. Don’t take him for granted.

[pamphletstoinspire]

Appropriating the Christmas Appropriators

Three businessmen – a Catholic, a Protestant, and an atheist – go to lunch during Advent to discuss what Christmas means to them. The Protestant says Christmas means a 50 percent increase in profits. The Catholic says he looks at the bottom line; Christmas means a 20 percent increase in earnings after taxes. The atheist says that the Christmas business is so profitable that on Christmas day, he and his friends gather around the Christmas tree, hold hands, and sing, “O what a friend we have in Jesus!”

Some people think this is funny. I used to until I was woke or awakened or woke up – or something. The “woke” culture is, of course, the very latest thing these days. Until the next self-proclaimed enlightenment comes along. You claim victim status, share your grievances with semi-serious drama, and scold opponents à la Greta Thunberg: How dare you!

Practicing Christians have become a ridiculed – even despised – minority in this country. It is more dangerous to your reputation and career to bring a Bible to work than dirty books from the Fairfax County School libraries. The less we talk about Jesus and Christmas – excuse me, “Winter Holiday” – the safer we are in an atheist culture.

“Cultural appropriation” is just one of the grave injustices recently discovered by the “woke” culture. It is – according to authoritative sources – the inappropriate adoption of elements of a minority culture by members of a dominant culture. Most of mainstream culture has already taken Christ out of Christmas. But you might argue that, by “cultural appropriation,” it continues to make money off of Him, while abusing the rights of Christians. So we have winter holiday trees, festive lights, wreaths, holiday spending – without Jesus.

How dare you!

I have no problem with atheists making an honest buck off Christmas. But when an atheistic culture cashes in on Jesus while impugning His followers as intolerant and hateful, it’s time to rise up and, well, claim victim status.

How have they offended us? Let me count the ways:

They have appropriated the Christmas tree. But the Christmas tree is a symbol of Jesus. In winter, what is evergreen becomes a sign of everlasting life, and it reminds Christians of the “tree of life,” an image of Christ on the Cross.

They have appropriated wreaths. Wreaths adorn our shopping centers and businesses. But the circular shape – without beginning or end – represents God, and the evergreens represent eternal life.

They have appropriated holly. But the holly tree is another Christian symbol. The sharp leaves symbolize the crown of thorns worn by Jesus, while the berries represent drops of His blood.

They have appropriated seasonal lights and candles, but the festive glowing lights symbolize Jesus, the source of all light. Jesus is the Light of the World.

The star atop the tree represents the star that led the Wise Men to Jesus. It directs us to follow the light of the Savior just as the Wise Men found Him by following the star.

The poinsettia is like the evergreen tree. It thrives during the winter and symbolizes everlasting life. The shape resembles a star (see again the Three Wise Men). Red poinsettias remind us of the blood that Jesus shed for us. The white poinsettias symbolize His purity.

Christmas bells symbolize the hymn of the angels in Heaven announcing the birth of Jesus and praising God: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men of goodwill.”

Candy canes remind us of the staff carried by the shepherds who visited the baby Jesus – and that Jesus is the Good Shepherd Who gently leads us to safety and peace. “The Lord is my Shepherd there is nothing I shall want.” (Ps. 23)

Santa Claus brings gifts to children on Christmas. Saint Nicholas, a 4th-century Catholic saint – Good Saint Nick – forms the basis of his popular image.

Christmas is the season of giving – and consumer spending. The Wise Men “offered him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh.” (Mt. 2:11) But the greatest gift of all came from our Heavenly Father: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) On Christmas Day, we remember that the Savior is the true gift of Christmas.

They can’t even escape Jesus when they reduce Christmas to a “winter holiday.” “Holiday” is a conflation of two words: “holy day.” Get it? Ha, ha!

How dare you!

If they are serious about excluding Christianity, let’s insist they get rid of all Christian symbolism in our public spaces and workplaces. No public displays of Christmas trees, wreaths, candy canes, festive lights, and Santa Claus. No Christmas music, ever. Not even “Santa, Baby,” or “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”!

We can change this country into a workers’ paradise without public expressions of generosity or joy or any public sign of Christmas. Demand honesty! Let’s make our cities and workplaces look as lifeless and sterile as the concrete buildings of the Soviet Union. Our feast day, our choice!

How dare you!

In the meantime, during Advent, Christians may continue to prepare for our Savior’s birthday with a good Confession and light penitential practices: “Prepare the way of the Lord, [and] make his paths straight.” (Lk. 3:4)

Amidst a harsh, barren, intolerant, and ugly culture, let’s adorn the sanctuaries of our churches and homes with the symbols of Christmas: twinkling lights, evergreens, candy, and gifts – the reminders of Jesus and the sweetness of the Gospels. On Christmas Day, let’s gather around the decorated Christmas tree and the Nativity Scene and sing hymns of peace and joy. O Little Town of Bethlehem. Silent Night. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.

At need, even throw in the Elvis Christmas album for good measure.

By: Rev. Jerry J. Pokorsky

[ragzpizzle]

Two New OCs Just Dropped!

Meet my very first Two Poppy Playtime OCs, Coco Loco and Gloomy Loomy! Here are some information on these two!

Coco Loco:

Coco Loco was made in December 10th 1991, Playtime Co Workers made a character that is based like Huggy Wuggy, but it is if he was Christmas Themed. Coco Loco was made to decorate Christmas Supplies, Christmas Tress, and make Hot Coco. He was very successful at the time until in Setember 17th 1998, there was a file report that a mom claimed that one of the Coco Loco Plushies mauled a 8 year old boy making himself Red Hot Coco. Someone also claimed that their 5 year old daughter had her eyes stabbed by Candy Canes while seeing a Coco Loco Plush covered in blood, so Playtime Co stopped making Coco Loco Plushies for a while, until they finally decided to ban the toys in November 20th 1998! The only country or state you can get the Coco Loco Plushies are in Japan, or UK.

Gloomy Loomy:

Gloomy Loomy was made in June 30th 2002. One of the Playtime Co Workers had an idea about them wanting to make toys for adults, cause they thought to themselves, toys do not have to be for kids and they can also be for older audiences as well, so that's why they made one of the plushies called, Gloomy Loomy! Gloomy Loomy would be used for sex, being a stripper, would be bitchy if what she is dressing looks terrible, etc. Some people actually really liked this toy, while most others, and parents, hated it, and there are mainly two reasons for this. The First Reason is that a kid wanted to get this toy, and their mom complained about the toy being too "inappropriate" for kids, even tho it was literally a toy meant for adults, and the second reason for this was that most adults didn't even care about the toy, and it was a Failed Experiment as well. So in January 5th 2003, Playtime Co has decided to cancel The Gloomy Loomy Toys and never, ever made them again.

Both of these OCs are Questioning Their Sexualities and are Single as well!