#in which i write an essay literally nobody asked for

[liveorganism]

hope you dont mind but will rant abt the lottery because ooh boy does that take make me upset because No. like ignore this if you want will put it under the cut cause i like talking about this story

even giving more nuance to that take by imagining that they said "the lottery is about the inherent violence of humanity" misses the point and the true dystopian nature of the story.

so, to start with, it isn't about inherent violence. we hear about people in other towns getting rid of the lottery. the lottery isnt an infallible behavior every town sticks with, much like how violence isnt inevitable behavior in humanity to the point of trumping kindness

what this story is about, I think, is the danger of mob mentality and blindly following tradition to the point that it causes violence- none of this is inherent, this is people choosing to participate and perpetuate a system of some unknown ideal and false sense of security

how, you may ask? first of all, the story is set in generic small town America, in a typical setting for the 1940's. it's nice, idyllic, and the weather is nice and the people are too

except, they are willing to kill each other in name of the lottery. now, what is the lottery? a tradition. at its core, that's what it is, and that is one of the most important parts of it and almost all we need to know. the other part we know is that there isn't much we do need to know about it, because the townsfolk don't either. they just know that it has been performed for generations and that its original purpose was supposedly to bring in a good harvest

the second part of this is that the tradition isn't the same as it once was; wood chips are traded for paper, the box isn't the same, rituals and performances of years past are long forgotten. much like the original motions of the lottery, the purpose of it is forgotten as well. remember how I said it was "supposedly to bring in a good harvest"? the supposedly bit is important, because that is all that is assumed based off of a half remembered hymn about the lottery. they just assume the lottery is important and continue it

and what is the consequence of perpetuating tradition that has long since lost its meaning and is dubious in purpose? violence. the "winner" of the lottery is stoned to death for a tradition and a supposed greater good

now we draw connections. people who seem nice enough are still capable or horrific actions in the name of tradition.

historical context gives us some more to think about- the story was published in 1948; the wake of ww2 and the holocaust, where in the name of some arbitrary ideal about purity and religion, minority groups, primarily jewish people, were brutalized and murdered for the sake of purity standards and ideals nobody really could say for sure the benefit of, yet perpetuated anyways. while many protested, may more were content within the system

beginning to draw connections?

it remains relevant today, and there are quite a few good essays on the subject, an interesting one from 1985 being on page 27 of this document, which, while perhaps not what jackson had in mind while writing, is a fascinating and much discussed perspective on the story

a few years later there was literally the whole nuclear family suburbia McCarthyism thing people pretended was a good thing but wow! really wasnt! (just read about mccarthyism. watch the ted ed video on the sinister (read: racist) origins of suburbia im begging)

point being, there are plenty of ways to apply this story to our lives in ways shirley jackson surely didn't have in mind while writing yet made relevant all the same. like, this is the gay people website. im sure you all can find mob mentality set upon by the blind trailing of tradition at least a little relevant beyond "they threw rocks at her"

and that I think is how the horror is so relevant and why it ignited such a visceral reaction in readers: it requires us to look at society and question it. it requires us to acknowledge that not every system and tradition is just, and that even people and traditions and systems we uphold have caused suffering we were perhaps even complicit in causing

either way, that concludes this giant ass essay prompted by people's lack of media literacy which was really just an excuse to be insane about this short story, which is definitely one of my all time favs. it manages to sell a message without being preachy and the dystopian horror is palpable! read it here if youre curious

i get so irrationally angry about media illiteracy like that one post about the lottery message being “throw rocks at her!!” my godddd shut up i want to throw rocks at you. i bet you got an A+ on that essay

[fluxweeed]

hey. hope this message doesn't bother you. I love you. I love your work. you are one of my favorite fic authors, I am absolutely obsessed with everything you write. reread everything ten times over, drarry or not, fluffy or angsty - even when it absolutely shatters my heart (e.g. for lack of wanting, SUCH a great fic btw i'm so obsessed with it). the four doors? life changing. two to lie and one to listen? engraved into my brain for eternity. what's mine is yours? what a ride holy shit, im VERY normal about it. wrapped? my comfort read. and so it goes.

if I could aggressively smother you with kudos and love I WOULD!!!

awhile ago you said that there's no such thing as "big deals" in fandom and I 100% agree but at the same time you are a big deal TO ME!!! not in the sense of any kind of hierarchy but purely based on the fact that I think you are such a cool person and your writing is amazing and poignant and your presence in fandom makes it so much better. it's been a pleasure following you here on tumblr and just reading your tags and posts.

idk I just think you rule. that's it. thank you for hanging with us. MWAH 💛

ahhhh anon sorry for leaving this message sitting in my inbox for a couple of days but !! i have zero idea how to react to this!! you're so kind!! thank you!! please discard any and all inclinations u have that i am a cool person bc i can assure you i am NOT!!

[kvothe-kingkiller]

I'm not the best writer when it comes to writing convincing essays or whatever, but I'm going to give this a go because it's something that I've thought for a long time that I've never seen anyone really acknowledge unless I bring it up first. (also I am sick and don't really want to do much editing here, just rambles, so good luck)

I think that when most (not all, but most) people get salty about 'modern art', they are not salty about the things people think they are salty about. When they say "this isn't art", theres an important bit that they're not articulating. What I think most of them mean is "this isn't art that should be in a museum." "this isn't art that should cost this much" "this isn't art that should be getting this kind of recognition". And there is a huge difference between that and just saying "this isn't art"

Firstly, all of the arguments about why modern art is in fact art straight up....don't apply. They don't address the problem, they don't answer the question. This isn't really anyone's fault per se, given that it is addressing the literal statement, it's just I think most people aren't actually thinking that literal statement.

So then what do they really mean? Like I said, I think they're trying to articulate why they're frustrated that this art is in a museum when "they could do it". So when you say "okay then, you do it" that doesn't address the core issue, which is "but why is this getting recognition for it, and I would get none" because yes, unless they are famous, they would get Zero recognition for it. Nobody would be lining up to buy their art, no one would ask to put it in a museum. Best place they can hope to have this displayed is a fridge door.

When you look at a piece of fine art, most can see the amount of effort put into it. They see how much training it took to get there, they see how much time it took to put those strokes on that canvas and they can go "yeah, that took skill, that took effort, not everyone can do that. it deserves recognition". And a lot of modern art does take skill, it's just skill that isn't easily noticeable to the average viewer, such as rothko's color fields, they do take a lot of skill and effort, you just can't see it if you don't know. But a lot of modern art that people complain about isn't something that has skill that's not recognized, it just requires very little technical skill at all (not a condemnation, btw).

When you're talking about something 'anyone can do' that piece's value is often not a recognition of skill, or even of the message, it's a recognition of a name. It's similar to having a gucci bag because it's a gucci bag, not because you care remotely about the bag. Yes, art isn't displayed because of how much effort went into it, but it's a huge industry that many many people are making money through from sheer name recognition alone.

Like that one painting of that one artist's (I forget which artist and my cursory google isnt finding it, but also its just an example) where it got replicated and sold to a bunch of people for a large amount of money so they could all have something that had a small chance of being a genuine painting by the artist, that's an excellent example of the fact that a lot of the gallery-level art world is Entirely about the name, not about the piece itself. If someone just made that painting but didn't say it could be from the artist, then who cares?

If you go to ringo starr's art website (https://www.ringostarrart.com/) then you can see that some of his work, especially his older work, is of that category of stuff that many people would say "I could do that" to. For instance, these two? 1,400 and 6,000 pounds respectively for a PRINT of these from his website

....okay this one I kinda enjoy.

but still. 2,000 pounds for a print.

All of this is possible because he's ringo fucking starr, he can sell his paintings for whatever he wants. If I tried to sell those for that much, I'd be laughed out of the room. All of it is just clout, it's just how big your name is and how much you can use that as leverage.

This is not to say that other forms of art don't also have this issue, they do, especially with people devaluing creative works so much today. But you could probably get a few commissions if you sell realistic art or do commissions of people's characters, while you Cannot get any money trying to sell stuff like ringos art unless you already have an audience who will buy it.

This does somewhat lead into a discussion of how art curators pick which artists are 'good' somewhat arbitrarily, but that's a whole other post.

Doing art for 'yourself' vs for other people or money is also a whole other post, one which I've actually seen quite a lot on here. But suffice to say if your response to all of this is 'just make art for yourself! Why do you need recognition?' then maybe go find some of those posts. It's not bad to want recognition, and it's not bad to question why that guy is getting much more recognition for the exact same thing you're doing just because he has a bunch of rich friends who are able to host fancy parties and go 'hmm. yes this is good art.' (not that all modern artists had rich friends, but they did almost all get Extremely lucky in some shape or another that led to them now being widely accepted as good artists).

You cannot make a living off modern art unless you're well known, and if you happen to be well known already, you could likely make a living off modern art without having any experience, and that's what a lot of people hate about modern art, even if they don't articulate it. While some would, most wouldn't say "my five year old could do that" to someone's personal piece that they made themselves and hung up in their home, or that their friend made and gave to them. They say that about the pieces bought for thousands of dollars or millions of dollars.

And I don't want people to think that I do hate modern art, I don't (though this is tumblr, so I'm pissing on the poor just by writing this). I don't hate any of the famous modern artists, I don't think modern art isn't art. I do hate the industry that says their art is suddenly worth something just because some rich fuckers somewhere decided they should be, and anything I tried to do in a similar vein, original or not, would be better suited to sit in a coffee shop and continuously marked down and never sold.

So next time you say "so why don't you make it", maybe ask yourself if you would buy it.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

explanations under the cut

Elizabeth Afton is actually the Youngest Sibling - as @birdsareblooming pointed out, when we see her room in fnaf4, she has a torn-apart mangle toy. mangle was stated to be made to entertain toddlers. would also explain why she's not in the gameplay, she's at daycare/with her mom

The Vengeful Spirit is Michael Afton - another one where cori convinced me and I might have an entire essay that I will publish after I finally sit down and edit through the Security Logbook section but until then here's a bullet point post

Mimic = Burntrap - i dont think i have to explain this we're all talking about it i just know people are gonna be mad at me for it

The Girl in Drowning is representative of Charlie, not Cassidy - She's literally got gray skin, black hair, gray clothes, and neon green lighting, much like a certain gray-skinned black-haired pixel girl with a green bracelet who died in the rain (water motif). Her dragging Kara down because she doesn't want to be alone could be seen as a metaphor for Charlie trying to give life but instead kinda sticking them all in robots

FNAF AR had some BANGIN re-skins - come on. look at them. Clockwork Ballora? Bangin. Broiler Baby? Bangin. Catrina Toy Chica? BANGIN. Springtrap as an actual fucking clown???? BANGIN.

Vanessa is an Afton in the Gameverse, too – Cori's workin on a whole explanation diagram for this but the most BASIC evidence is "her last name starts with 'a' and she's a nepo baby." I dont think she's William's DIRECT daughter cause man died in the 90s and she was 23 in the 2030s so. grandkid or smth

If Edwin/David is a metaphor for anything it's William/CC and not Henry/Charlie – listen i understand the whole "single dad building the robots and then breaking one in a rage" thing from TSE but also the mimic likes to mimic its creator and child before all else and who is it mimicking? afton and the little boy in sb who happens to look a shitton like cc. also game!charlie is never indicated as having a special plushie that followed her everywhere but cc very certainly did and hey if mimic can grow and shrink to fit in anything whos to say it didnt shrink into the fredbear to repeat stock phrases to cc such as "tomorrow is another day." also in the character encyclopedia art of cc he is holding his fredbear plush the same way burntrap positions his arm to imitate holding something. an

They're not gonna pull the Charliebot twist again. Nobody's a secret robot – first off from a writing perspective that's not the kinda twist you do twice. second off with the... less than stellar reception to the twist in the first place i dont think theyre gonna pull it again

"Cassidy" isn't the Golden Freddy Kid's name, it's Crying Child's – the logbook has Crying Child communicate through manipulating the text, while the spirit he's talking to speaks in faint writing; the second spirit never has a confirmed identity, but CC is most definite considering the stuff referenced around him. The "ITS ME CASSIDY" is revealed through.... manipulated text. The clues are in........ manipulated text. "It's Me" is CC calling out to Michael. The other spirit says "My name is..." a couple times BUT they also ask CC if he remembers his name just a few pages before. Granted this might just be us not understanding something but also if Cassidy is CC's name then who the fuck is Golden Freddy Kid. is Michael Brooks still canon

The nightmare gas didn't "ruin the lore" it's just kinda funny – look guys literally all of this lore is fucked, the fact they just threw in "also William Afton was doing nightmare gas experiments on kidnapped kids and then abandoned it for shits and giggles" in the eighth book of their second anthology series and then moving on like nothing happened while the fanbase collapses in on itself is like THE funniest thing they could've done

[xxsquiddkiddxx]

Johnny boyyy!(bender)

THAT, my friend, is a FANTASTIC idea :D I like the way you think -3- So! Not really knowing what to write, I went to Pinterest for one of them Person A Person B prompts. I'll link the one I used. This is the one I used :D

Living in the Moment: John Bender x Reader

Pronouns for reader: She/Her

Relationship type: Platonic to Romantic, Friends to Lovers

General Idea: John and Y/N have been friends for years now. A duo of chaos, dare I say. The two once again get themselves into detention. But what happens when feigning a nap Y/N hears something she wasn't meant to hear?

Content Warnings: Drugs (It's a Breakfast Club fic... it's kinda in the terms and conditions), Bender being soft, swearing, (Y/N) doesn't hate Claire (that's a recurring theme in these fics for some reason. I actually really like Claire)

(Nobody's POV)

"We pretty much asked for this detention served to us on a silver platter." (Y/N) says, hands in her pockets as she walks to Shermer High School. She turns her head to her friend, John Bender, who was walking beside her.

"It's worth it though." He says, fishing around in his pocket for his sunglasses. It wasn't sunny out at all, he literally only ever wore them to piss off Vernon. He takes another pair out of one of his coat pockets and put them on (Y/N)'s head. He flicks them so they slide onto her face, causing her to laugh.

"John!" She laughs in mock offence, taking bits of her hair out from behind the sunglasses. The two walk into the library and sit down next to each other, their movements pretty much in sync. A few people were also in detention. People (Y/N) recognized as Brian Johnson; a nerd she had physics with, Claire Standish; a girl who (Y/N) had respect for but never bothered to talk to, Andrew Clark; an kid on the wrestling team who was similar to Claire in (Y/N)'s eyes, and Allison Reynolds; someone (Y/N) had talked to a few times... but never had a real conversation with.

Vernon walks in and stands, just looking at the mini crowd of teens in the library. His eyes set on (Y/N) sitting next to Bender and laughs humorlessly. "On your feet (L/N), you're sitting somewhere else."

"I can sit where I want." She retorts, folding her arms over her chest. "It's a free country." Vernon yanks her out of her seat and she starts to sit at the desk behind John, to which Vernon snaps.

"Next to her." He points towards Allison, who snaps her head up instantly. (Y/N) does as she's told, but devises a plan to reunite with her friend once the dictator leaves.

"Well... here we are. I want to congradulate you for being on time." Vernon says, his tone of voice being slightly degrading.

"Excuse me, sir?" Claire raises her hand. "I think there's been a mistake. But, um... I don't think I belong here." John and (Y/N) exchange a look that says "Oh dear God" . Vernon is unfazed by this.

Vernon goes on to talk about how everyone has pretty much 9 hours to be in here and that we have to do a 1000 word essay on who we think we are. When Vernon leaves, (Y/N) scoots herself right back to her original spot. A few hours goes by; John bullies Claire and Andrew, Allison draws and using her dandruff as a art utensil, and Brian was.... well Brian did whatever Brian does.

Once hour 2 hit, all (Y/N) wanted to do was sleep. She layed her head on the table and she drifted off to sleep.

.·:¨༺ ༻¨:·

(Y/N) feels herself drift back into consciousness, but keeps her eyes closed. "You're really pretty." She hears the breathy whisper of Bender. It's almost completely silent, and she probably wouldn't have caught it if she wasn't hyper-aware of his voice. "God I love you..." He whispers. She feels his fingers brush some hair out of her face, then it's silenced again.

"WAKE UP!" The cold voice of Vernon shoots (Y/N) up and almost 10 feet out of her seat. "(L/N) didn't I tell you to sit somewhere else?" (Y/N) looks around and points to herself innocently.

"Who, me?" She says, playing dumb. "I don't think so, sir." John and Andrew snicker at her antics.

"Don't play dumb with me, girl." Vernon threatens.

"I'm not, Dick. Can I call ya Dick?" She says, smiling innocently. Vernon doesn't have time to respond before (Y/N) continues. "Why would I play dumb anyways? I'm a smart girl with potential. Now Miss Standish here." She starts, gesturing towards Claire. The redhead whirls right around and makes a nasty face towards (Y/N). (Y/N) ignores it and continues her shenanigans. "She would play dumb to get what she wants, it's written all over her face!"

Vernon doesn't respond, but instead just says: "Alright girls, that's 30 minutes for lunch."

"Here?" Andrew asks.

"Here." Vernon says, firm in choice.

"Well," Andrew starts. "I think that the cafeteria is a more suitable place to eat lunch in, sir."

"Well I don't care WHAT you think, Andrew." Vernon starts. John gets a sparkle in his eyes and opens his mouth to speak. (Y/N) leans back, ready for what was about to go down.

"Uh, Dick?" John says. "Excuse me, Rich... Will MILK be made available to us?"

"We're extremely thirsty, sir." Andrew piggybacks off of John.

"I have a very low tolerance for dehydration." Claire says.

"I've seen her dehydrated, sir." Andrew says, nodding. "It's pretty gross."

After a whole scenario and a half, everyone has a coke and a lunch. Everyone eats together, John and (Y/N) being without meals. "Ya wanna do something stupid?" John whispers to his friend, his breath tickling (Y/N)'s face.

"Oh always, Dear." She says dramatically. The two start to stand up and walk out of the library.

"H-hey, we aren't supposed to do that." Brian starts.

"Relax, Peewee." John says. "We're just going to my locker. Nothin' special."

"Why? You got drugs in there or something?" Andrew asks condescendingly. (Y/N) giggles.

"Something like that."

.·:¨༺ ༻¨:·

John, (Y/N), Brian, and Claire sat in a circle, smoking joints and laughing. (Y/N) takes a hit off of her and John's shared joint, John's arm around her shoulders. Claire takes a hit off of hers and coughs.

"Chicks cannot hold they smoke." Brian says in a goofy voice, sending (Y/N) into a fit of giggles. "That's what it is."

Brian and Claire go off to Andrew and Allison, leaving John and (Y/N) alone. Bender, of course, can't help but admire (Y/N) momentarily before she says something.

"Did you mean that?" She asks, looking up at him. John looks at her odd. "What you said?"

John takes the joint from her fingers and moves it away from her. "AAAAAlright no more dope for you." He jokes. He looks at his friend's face, realizing she was dead-serious. "What do you mean what I said?"

"That I'm pretty and that you love me." (Y/N) says before repeating her question. "Did you mean it?"

John feels himself go bright red in the face. Part of him wanted to just skip over the question and blow it off. But something on her face (and also the marijuana) made him finally respond with the truth. "Yeah, I meant it."

"In a friend way?" (Y/N) asks. John REALLY wants to lie here, but he's too hopped up on weed and the feeling of (Y/N)'s body snuggled into his that he just responds with the truth, even if it feels like it's against his own will.

"No."

The two sit in silence before (Y/N) breaks it. "I love you too, John." She whispers. John turns to look at the girl. "Not in the friend way." The two sit in a content silence. They didn't need to speak any words, nor engage any actions. They were more content than any words or actions could ever activate.

After a few moments, (Y/N) leans her head on John's shoulder, and he rubs (Y/N)'s arm with his thumb, sharing the joint until it's gone. They stay like this for a while, just living in the moment.

Cuz at the end of the day, that's how John Bender and (Y/N) (L/N) roll. They take things wherever fate takes them. Sometimes it takes them somewhere fantastic, other times it takes them into some deep shit. But between us, I don't think they cared. They just liked to live in the moment.

A/N: Wow, OK that was longer than I thought it would be XD But I had to add the Brian High scene (it's my favorite in the whole movie). I actually really liked writing Y/N's character (even if I almost wrote my name more times than I can count). But yeah, more content soon :)

~Squeed

[realtasagartach]

The Subtle Abuse and Manipulation in Hazbin Hotel

TW: Discussions of abuse, manipulation, and parental alienation

(Alt: The Completely Unnecessary Dick-Measuring Contest Between Two Idiots With Too Much Pride)

Hazbin Hotel has recently released its first season, and I have observations. There are quite a few things I can write about, but I’m going to focus on the fifth episode, “Dad Beat Dad” and its insert song, “Hell’s Greatest Dad” and how completely unnecessary this competition was. But also about something I don't see talked about enough.

The episode opens with Charlie freaking out over why the hotel isn’t working, and Vaggie suggests getting help from her father. Charlie is initially resistant to the idea but perks up at the thought of asking him to get her a meeting with Heaven.

Here, we meet Lucifer. And honestly, I appreciate Lucifer’s depiction in this. He’s awkward, goofy, and “Take that depression” had no right to be that relatable. I’ve read enough about how Lucifer can’t relate to his daughter because his guilt for giving free will bogged down his consciousness. And we see this very clearly in his songs. In “Hell’s Greatest Dad”, he offers Charlie to give her lavish material things and “rig the game because [he’s] the ref”. Peak “I don’t understand another’s feelings, so I’ll supplement it with material objects” kind of transactional relationship, despite Charlie wanting to connect to him on a more personal and emotional level. Something that they achieve in their second song, “More Than Anything”.

But that’s where my analysis of Lucifer will end. For now.

I’d like to focus on Alastor in this essay. Alastor comes into the episode as everyone is getting the hotel ready for Lucifer’s visit, then introduces himself with instant passive-aggression and, “You might have heard of me from my radio broadcast”. To which Lucifer says, “Nope!” insults him right back, and we get Alastor’s first swear word on this show. Hilarious.

Now, it’s clear as day that Alastor’s part in the song was just to get under Lucifer’s skin. Vivziepop even confirmed this and that Alastor doesn’t actually see Charlie as a daughter. (This video at 3:50)

Side Note: The line where Alastor tells Charlie, “You could almost call me ‘Dad’” was the creepiest part of Alastor’s character for me. I’ve had guys try that with me before, which brought up bad memories.

But this entire sequence was more than irritating Lucifer just because he didn’t know who he was. Charlie is very much a sentimental person who likes buzzwords and talking about feelings rather than material items and power. She’s literally the Princess of Hell and refuses to use her authority because “That’s so meeeaan!!!” But this makes her very naïve and susceptible to manipulations.

I’m saying that Alastor competing against Lucifer is unnecessary because there’s no reason to try and sway Charlie from getting her father’s help. Let’s assume that Alastor knew why Lucifer was there. Alastor is an Overlord. He’s right in between the Sinners and the Ars Goetia in Hell’s hierarchy. And he’s not even the strongest Overlord around. He may be consorting with royalty, but nobody respects them. He’s not gaining any power, especially after his seven-year “sabbatical”. He wants a deal with Charlie for whatever reason, so he helps her with her hotel. But even he can’t get the angels to meet with Charlie, which is what she wants.

Alastor is basically abusing Charlie. There’s emotional manipulation, singing, “I’m your guy, your day-to-day, your chum, your steadfast hotelier” and reminding her how much help he’s been to her. And then there’s the parental alienation and isolation with that “dad” line and that, “Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud. They say the family you choose is better”. He’s trying to get Lucifer out of Charlie’s support system and is playing on her “daddy issues” to make her trust her more. These are classic abuse tactics to keep the abuser in power. It's not as in your face as Valentino with Angel Dust, but it's still there if you listen to the song.

As someone who is a victim of parental alienation and manipulation, coupled with what Alastor says in the seventh episode, I’m getting more and more worried for Charlie as the story goes on. I understand that the show wouldn’t have been able to progress without him, but I also wouldn’t put it past Vivziepop to make him the Big Bad.

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: The Shadow of the Past

"The blame was mostly laid on Gandalf." Whatever you did, you've been officially labeled a Disturber of the Peace...

Something about "but the growth of hobbit-sense was not very noticeable" cracks me up

I love the fact that Frodo kept throwing birthday parties for Bilbo after he left. It's so sweet.

I would much rather go to Frodo’s Hundred-weight Feast than Bilbo’s Party of Special Magnificence, actually; twenty guests and several meals “at which it snowed food and rained drink” sounds much more my speed X-D

“Bilbo isn’t dead.” “Where is he then?” “🤷‍♂️”

F in the chat for Folco Boffin, who was mentioned like once in this chapter and never comes into the story again

"Merry and Pippin suspected that [Frodo] visited the Elves at times, as Bilbo had done." TEA???

Frodo's wandering in the autumn has such an evocative and melancholy feeling to it. So much so that I wrote a poem about it last year...

Part Two of me wishing the movies could have shown the Dwarves passing through the Shire on their way to the Blue Mountains

Sam be like "Dragons and Ents are real, I tell you!" and Ted Sandyman like "press X to doubt"

Our first glimpse of Sam's unassailable trust in Frodo and his wisdom 💚

And now! Exposition dumping, with Gandalf.

I hate the fact that I can't see or hear the word Eregion without getting war flashbacks to Amazon's Rings of Poopy

Ooh, remind me to write an essay about the invisibility power of the Ring(s)...

"[Bilbo] would certainly never have passed on to you anything that he thought would be a danger." Oh boy, would you look at the time, it's Crying About Adoptive Relationships O'clock

"'There wasn't any permanent harm done, was there?' asked Frodo anxiously. 'He would get all right in time, wouldn't he? Be able to rest in peace, I mean.'" OH BOY, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME—

Literally Gandalf: "Hobbits are my special interest"

"It is quite cool." It sure is, Gandalf. Wicked. Radical, even.

Low-hanging fruit, I know, but I had to 🤣

Speaking of low-hanging fruit, here's a joke I made two years ago about the "until Spring had passed into Winter" line:

He threw a luau barbecue one breezy summer night/Invited all his turtle pals to come and have a wiki bite/The turtles started walkin' there as Lance began to swing/The one that lived across the street arrived there in the spring...!

"I wish it need not have happened in my time." "So do I, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." Still a line that goes so, so hard, right in the middle of this exposition dump.

I like how in Gandalf's story, he makes Deagol talk normally, but Smeagol still has all those verbal idiosyncrasies that are iconic to Gollum.

I'm still trying to remember who it was that pointed out that the last syllable of Smeagol is the first syllable of Gollum. Blew my mind when I saw that, I tell ya.

"I can put it no plainer than by saying that Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, and not by its maker. In which case you also were meant to have it. And that may be an encouraging thought." "It is not." 🤣🤣🤣

The thought of Gollum creeping through a window to snatch a baby from a cradle and eat it is at least seventeen different kinds of Not Fun. Thanks, Tolkien.

I have very little to say about Gandalf's retelling of the Ring's story—and Frodo's frightened and naive questions—except that it's almost as hard to tear your eyes away from the book as it is for Frodo to throw the Ring into the fire.

"I do really wish to destroy it! Or, well, to have it destroyed. I am not made for perilous quests." Oh, Frodo, bby...

I love how Sam's spying is so artfully foreshadowed here X-D You just go whistling away down that path, buddy! Nobody suspects a thing!

All Frodo has to say is "I suppose I'll have to go running into danger alone to keep everything and everyone I love safe, even if it means never coming home again; it's a pity, but I'll do it" and Gandalf is like "Frodo have I mentioned lately how much I love you and hobbits in general". Which. Mood! Big mood!

SUDDENLY, SAMWISE GAMGEE!

Good gracious did I need Sam and his comic relief after this heavy chapter X-D Bless you, Sam, you loveable dummy

I wonder what hobbit idiom Tolkien "translated" into "Lor bless you, sir". I'm not sure the hobbits have a concept of Eru Illuvatar as a benevolent God who hands out blessings; and if they do, I somehow doubt they'd have quaint little figures of speech like this. But I'm just nitpicking at this point because it's fun.

"There ain't no eaves at Bag End, and that's a fact." SAM 🤣🤣

"Mr. Frodo, sir! Don't let him hurt me, sir! Don't let him turn me into anything unnatural! My old dad would take on so." Have I mentioned that I love the heck out of Sam?

Frodo is "hardly able to keep from laughing", which, MOOD!

Sam heard that Mr. Frodo was going away and audibly choked. GAH I love him so much

Frodo sure knows how to threaten Sam LOL

"If you even breathe a word of what you've heard here, then I hope Gandalf will turn you into a spotted toad and fill the garden full of grass-snakes." 🤣🤣

"'Me, sir!' cried Sam, springing up like a dog invited for a walk. 'Me go and see Elves and all! Hooray!' he shouted, and then burst into tears." Oh, Sam. I love you.

[chainslobber]

<< from previous anon >>

thank you so much for the genuine answer, and for being so kind. I appreciate it tons, seriously. and yes, since I've stepped away from the anti/proship stuff, I feel a lot better. although, if I may admit, sometimes I feel strangely guilty. maybe it's because it's been instilled in me for so long that certain things are bad.

if I may ask, did you ever struggle with this after you decided to stop associating with those labels/parts of the fandom? i hope this isn't too personal. 🩷

i just want to enjoy these harmless fictional things without feeling bad. is that really so wrong? obviously, it's not, but yknow.

Hello again, Anon!

I understand you entirely. I was in the same boat. My last fandom I was in, I LOVED it there. I loved the series but the 'fandom' was new to me. When I was 14-16, you couldn't go ANYWHERE online without seeing porn, or handholding, or kissing. It was two teenage boys. But then I came to the fandom and...all of that was gone. Sterilized. If you even called the boys 'hot' people IMMEDIATELY did callout posts and tried to cancel you.

Now, I had just come from two adult fandoms. One of which was D:BH. Now, everyone in DBH (main characters anyways minus Alice) were all adults. The fandom was ALL porn. Fics, body pillows, doujins, you name it. So coming from that fandom to this old fandom where none of that was allowed was jarring. I watched people get attacked for drawing risque pictures, or fics. Every adult in the fandom started making priv accounts because we were terrified.

I was, by this point, best friends with an anti and in an anti group. Every day, I'd see links in the discord of drawings, or fics, or video essays where people gleefully called these people pedophiles/ephebophiles--all for liking these things. SOme of them tried to doxx, others started signing them up for emails for junk, some even tried to find spouses and jobs to 'tattle' on them. Now, I was terrified. I was, at this point and still am, an adult artist for my job. I had never drawn porn of these characters but I read fics. I made a new AO3 just so I could like these fics without feeling guilty or having people crawl my bookmarks. Even on Twitter, even if the pic was SFW, I stopped liking/RTing. I bookmarked everything.

But.

People found out what I did for a living. People found out I was lying to them because my priv account got leaked by someone I could trust. I got callouts so badly, I stopped drawing for the fandom. My best friend, who I didn't wanna lose, turned on me. I literally had nobody up until I met Penny. I was too afraid to talk to anybody for fear they were 'in the circle'. People who didn't even know me were suddenly calling me a creep, saying they knew I had 'bad vibes', and that it was 'weird' I was so old in a fandom for 'kids'. I was only 27 at the time iirc.

It was scary. Even now, I'm waiting for someone to call me out for writing MHA porn, for drawing it. I still get people in my askbox calling me awful things sometimes.

But just know that you're doing nothing wrong. You never have, you never were, and I'm sorry people made you feel like you were the worst person ever for maybe finding an anime character hot or whatever the case might be. I DO promise you're safe here, even as anon, and I'm happy to talk with you. I got my socials and Discord everywhere. I don't want to out you and I never will, I just want you to know if it helps, you can even make a burner account to talk to me or anybody else.

It's really tough stepping away from the anti life, especially when you might've stayed for safety. But it's a toxic relationship; I'm not saying proshippers are also without their faults, but I have only ever had genuine friendships with folks who didn't give a shit.

People will defend you. People will swing for you. Fiction is meant to be an escape from your daily life, and if folks are making you feel guilty about enjoying it the way it makes YOU happy, then they're not worth your time.

You're fantastic, Anon, and I really hope you're doing okay. Whatever you hid before out of shame or guilt or fear, just know someone else is hitting kudos as a sign of respect and genuine adoration. I hope you're okay and I hope the things you were too afraid to enjoy or give a taste, you feel a little bolder trying.

[the-way-astray]

HEY so I skim read your new Keefe hate post and I have some thoughts I'd like to share (all good ones!!)

As someone who also wrote a very long essay about [a] fictional character(s) while citing the page number and book word by word, you freaking ACED it. I'm always gonna be impressed when people take the time to cite your source and give a in depth explanation about it

You're lowkey not too wrong about Keefe infantilizing Sophie. For something silly and stupid, like "Iggy ate my mallowmelt!! >:( Now im mad!!" yeah I bet Sophie would seem cute lol. But for when she's genuinely angry and pissed?? Maybe lay off a little bit dude 😭 Like cmon she can murder you with her mind- There are moments where he does talk about how powerful she is though, throughout the series, but tbh as much as he does that he probably inhantilize her too *shrug* I need to reread the series, but you are making some sense.

I need Keefe getting mad and someone asking him if he's on his period LMAOOOO

Anyways as someone who loves Keefe you're making valid points. He has his flaws, and sometimes he isn't the best person. In summary

Never post that on pinterest. Those crazy Keefe loving, Fitz hating, Sokeefe shipping 11 year olds will MURDER YOU. I will respect your opinion, but they sure don't.

(your opinion is valid and you have facts *clap and approving nod* you have my respect.)

the post in question

okay, first of all, i need this essay immediately. i literally do not care what it's about but words! lots of words! about kotlc! need.

ooh, thank you so much! i mentioned this in the post itself, but this is a rework. the quotes were originally in one post (copy-pasted from another post) and the explanation was in a reblog, which was hella annoying, so i condensed them. i suppose it does make much more sense now. and my explanation is based in the fact that i don't think people were understanding why this isn't a good thing to be saying, period, when i posted it for the first time. even without context.

yeah, keefe displays a consistent attitude of "sophie is so adorable and small and cute and ditzy and soft". seriously, if you don't believe me, read his perspective in unlocked (or don't, because i'm going to do it for you in my part two keefe rant). it's why i don't buy his accepting sophie as a leader in stellarlune (done in a very, very tell-not-show way, may i add), unless he went through some serious development in unraveled. i may have to dedicate a whole post to that topic . . . anyway, yeah, him calling her powerful and talented feels very, very, very tell-not-show, and when you look at his internal thoughts in unlocked, it portrays her very differently. i'm not a fan of the way he sees her, truly. it feels very dumbed down and uwu-ified. no quotes from unlocked have been put into the post, so i'll have to update it later, but if i included unlocked quotes, this post would be like sixteen times its length. but yeah, you should reread the series before you come to a serious opinion. i'm obviously incredibly biased.

GOODBYE I WAS CITING THAT POST BECAUSE IT GAVE OFF THE EXACT ENERGY I FEEL KEEFE GIVES OFF . . . I DON'T EVEN THINK ELVES HAVE PERIODS (please nobody bring back that cursed discussion again, please, i beg) BUT YOU'RE SO CORRECT. SOMEONE WRITE A HUMAN AU WHERE THIS HAPPENS IMMEDIATELY

yay, a level-headed keefe lover, i love you guys. lol . . . i don't plan to go on pinterest anytime soon, or ever (and i also don't even think pinterest's format even allows for a long post like this . . . ). honestly the thought would have never even crossed my mind, because keepblr is my one true love and i'd never cheat on her. but now that you mention it, it might be funny . . .

[moononmyfloor]

Dashing Youth Ep 22-25 Commentary

Ep 1-10, Ep 11-16, Ep 17-21, Ep 22-25, Ep 26-32, Ep 33-35, Ep 36-40

Ep 22

That's it. I've found my most favorite Cdrama character of the year. Do I love everything about him? No. Is he very relatable? No. Is he the best acting performance of the year? No. But heavens forbid if Master Li is written in a way that is just SO understandable and consistent for the setup of a sunny fearless youth who became an immortal and grew weary and bored with time, and decided to just stop with immortality and take one more chance at truly enjoying the mortal world so he could die satisfied. He's just so fucking intriguing to me I could write a 5 page essay about him! I guess I have already written about 2.5!

Dingzhi baby I wish you stop trying to hoard all your grievances and responsibilities in your heart all alone 😔 Tbh can't blame him, that's what happens when you were brutally stripped from your family and friends as a child and grew up with noone but an equally sad master, it stops occurring to you that you need to depend on other people sometimes. And it's not like Dongjun is the brightest bulb in the room to get a proper reading of everything Dingzhi is hiding behind his dazzling grins.

On the positive notes, Changfeng finally seems to be here to stay! Finally! They sleep seperated by a homophobic modesty table tho, boo

Ep 23

Presses play on Dashing Youth ep 23

*immeadietely spits tea out

Yeah I'm.... reading that dialogue.... bit differently. Cough

Help

me

What's going on 😭

Dude my bois were peacefully having their first time nobody asked you to invite yourself in huhu

That was so impolite to just crash and flash!!!

Oh my gods lol. Never make an enemy of Master Li. He will do planned cockblocking on you few decades in advance, AND make you and your partner the CEOs of his company, and sashay away to have his own honeymoon 🤣 You wouldn't have the time to say Jack Robinson.

I love how he developed a soft spot for Changfeng. I mean, who wouldn't

And Changfeng is like: I literally don't know how I got to this point of my life but boy I'm gonna have a good time

He's the underdog sidekick who ended up the ultimate winner and he wouldn't be able to explain how. He's so inspiring like all you have to do is being a nice person and mind your own business and treat your friends with honesty and the rest will work out by themselves.

Man I'm just so bloody uninterested in Dongjun/Yue Yao tho🤣

Dingzhi is that infamous bad boy in high school who is actually a doll and ends up winning over all the head-teachers to everyone's surprise

Ep 24

Ughh the wedding is going to take place I'm nauseous and I want to murder Wenjun's dad

Go, my boy. Even though you two will only get a pocket of happiness, you should get it. 😔

Ep 25

*screaming my head off

I fucking hate you so much. You are not a good guy but you aren't willing to full-on embrace that you are a bad guy either, which makes you a good politician and a good candidate for the throne and therefore the absolute worst scum. Bah.

Gods I think the last time I saw (and cared for) a het estranged couple (plus the girl being forced into a romantic/sexual arrangement she didn't want) was in Shaolin Wendao, but at least there was solace at the end of the story for the sheer agony the characters and the viewers went through. And I already know there will be none for Dashing Youth😭 Why am I doing this to myself.

I need to rewatch BoY just so I can see the younger gen stand up to the monarchy that their parents gen couldn't topple.

Grandparents: "For the greater good" let's downplay the corruption and raise our kids worry-free. If we close our eyes, the evil doesn't exist.

Parents: Dreamers, romantics, unprepared for the cruelty of the world, everyone gets heartbroken and traumatised for life

Kids: Fuck all this we can barely pay rent

[thegodwhocums]

2024.07.27 Sorcerous Arts Society reportback 🔮😈🧿

i think we haaaad... about ten folks? several new faces (INCLUDING ANOTHER ROOTWORKER WHO DOES HOODOO FOR HIS JOB), some usual subjects. two attendees had just started estrogen within the past three weeks 😭 one 22-yr-old freshly graduated English major and one 39-yr-old genderqueer (as i understand). what a beautiful world.

in honor of Wrath Month, we set Baleful Magic, Curses, Hexes, and Using Magic to Play Offense as the subject of conversation. I pitched having folks propose a scenario and then different attendees describe a method of approaching it with hexing etc, but nobody really went for that. interestingly we talked a lot about magic as an equalizer against oppressive forces, and also, knowing that The Other Side has access to the same tools we do. Ronald Reagan had a court magician, and a lot of major politicians still cover their bases that way. (see also: Dark Star Rising.) so there's a need to take that sort of thing into account when considering the Hex Trump initiative and similar acts.

coming out of this conversation, we've decided that next month we will talk about Magical Community Defense, in preparation for whatever the fuck goes down in November. considering bringing ingredients for folks to make their own Fiery Wall of Protection oil or something similar. will continue to ponder.

after the discussion (a very lively 2 hours!), we broke official convening. some folks departed, others hung out to trade divination.

I gave two tarot readings and received one (from Rocket, later in the day).

our 22-year-old babytran got some very blunt analysis and suggestions from the Lubanko Tarot. 😬 lots of reversals, lots of stuck situations and not listening to her internal self, with a side of interpersonal conflict and needing to speak up about her pain. I felt bad but she did literally ask and it sounds like the reading was spot on. hung out and talked with her for a while after. she said she was attending out of intellectual curiosity about the occult, that's she's writing an essay. okay bb. 💖

new zoomer townie friend requested "a vibe check for Leo season" and got some guidance about where to put his energy and what to look out for. while giving his reading a starling (which the previous folks at the picnic table had been feeding) landed on me. when it tried it a second time i reflexively karate chopped it out of the air. 💀 sorry for punching a bird.

at home, got a DEEPLY bewildering reading from Rocket's Tarot of the Silicon Dawn, featuring the Queen of Wands, who I don't think I've ever seen before. eventually we determined that she was me in this reading, and after that we were able to make some sense of it, but the cards were not being straightforward! tl;dr there's a harmonious middle space between manic insanity where everything is synchronicity and magic becomes overwhelming, and locked down dead mundanity where magic does not exist. also something about leaning into disappearing into the woods when I want to, being open to leadership in collaborative efforts, and taking stock of what mastery I've gained in this stage of my life and career while contemplating my next move. so you know. crystal clear and focused. lol lots to think about!

[asksythe]

Wei Ying might actually be long-lost royalty (mark 3) but it doesn’t actually mean all that much. Historical tragic, super spicy gay drama! - An Essay (1)

So I’ve been asked: now that we know MDZS happened during Wei Jin Northern and Southern Dynasty era and that the name of one of the dynasties (Northern Wei 北魏) is the same Wei in Wei Ying Wei Wuxian (魏). How come nobody in MDZS ever remarked on Wei Ying having the same surname as the royal family? 

There are three reasons for this: 

1. The royal house name of Northern Wei was not Wei. It was Yuan… and Tuoba before that. 

Yeah… 

Northern Wei eventually fractured into East and West Wei, with each branch of the royal family (Yuan and Tuoba branches) taking power on each side. 

The other Wei state in the same Six Dynasties Period was Cao Wei. The ruling house name was Cao… as in … Cao Cao… of the Romance of The Three Kingdoms fame… Yeah…   

The actual royal house with the Wei surname that you are looking for came from the Wei Kingdom during Warring States (4BCE to 2BCE), i.e., the period of chaos and war right before unification by Qin Shi Huang. I.e., over half a millennium before MDZS timeline (Although this is probably the era when the great Houses were founded: Wen, Jiang, Jin, Nie, and Lan. The book did mention the time before Wen Mao, the founder of House Wen, brought about the fall of the sect system to be a time of wars and chaos and that the Burial Mound was a Holy Mountain that was corrupted due to the countless dead well before Wen Mao’s time). 

Wei Kingdom 魏国 started out as a vassal state (called the State of Wei). Through generations of achievements and war alliances, this state evolved to become a Kingdom. The first Wei King was Wei Ying (魏嬰). Yes. That Wei Ying. Although the Ying here is a variation of the way Wei Ying’s birthname is spelled in canon with the meaning remaining the exact same. His posthumous title is Wei Hue Wang (King Wei Hue).

Although if you are looking for the historical counterpart of Wei Ying (and Jiang Cheng), you will have to look three generations down at his great-great-grandson Wei Wuji (Wuji being another way to write Wuxian), also known as Lord Xinling (Xinling Jun). Wei Wuji and his elder brother’s life is more or less what happened to Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng Jiang Wangyin in MDZS. Except in the real world, it’s Jiang Cheng who is gay (Bi, really) and whose lover’s title (Lungyang Jun) is used as a way to refer to gay porn for 2000 years after his death. Historical Wei Wuxian still died of a broken heart because his brother betrayed him though. Unlike novel Jiang Cheng, however, historical Jiang Cheng (King Wei Anli, elder brother to Wei Wuji) was said to have died of an illness supposedly caused by hearing his younger brother had died of a broken heart. Fans of tragic, complicated, highly spicy gay romance, eat your heart out. 

Ladies and gentlemen: the historical Jiang Cheng, King Wei Anli (in modern Chinese cinema), also the man who introduced gay porn into Chinese literary history.

(Modern Chinese cinema representation of Lungyan Jun: historical Jiang Cheng’s beau and the man whose title became synonymous with gay porn for literally two thousand years and counting) 

(Ancient gay porn featuring not-historical-Jiang-Cheng and not-Lungyang-jun. In ancient China, novels were written based on real concurrent events with names switched out. Pay close attention to the hair ornaments of our actors here! The one on the left is wearing a hair crown typically reserved for royal men, whereas the one on the right is wearing a cap reserved for male court officials)

Historical Wei Ying! By which I mean Lord Xinling Wei Wuji (modern Chinese game), the war hero who died of a broken heart because his big brother don’t wanna play with him no more. 

Incidentally, Wei Wuji and his brother King Wei Anli were the first people in recorded history to own Tiger Tally (Hufu).

But I shall talk about all this ancient gay drama and the OG tiger tally another day (So long, historical Jiang Cheng! You are still a horrible brother, you little shit!).    

2. Slavery System of Wei Jin Southern and Northern Dynasties Era. Wei Jin Era really is just Warring States Era Mark 2. War Harder! 

That is to say, being of royal blood is not what it’s cracked up to be during this specific era. Wei Jin Northern and Southern Dynasties Era (also called the Six Dynasties Era) is kinda a special case in post-Qin-unification Chinese history for the simple fact that China was anything but unified during this period. 

To understand this period, you have to look at the sheer brutality and the miraculous nature of Qin unification. Qin Shi Huang did something that nobody before him had ever done. He united hundreds of different ethnic groups through murder, violence, and a case of genocide here and there. He forced enemies that had been feuding against each other for literal centuries to become fellow countrymen. He razed temples to the ground. He tore down capitals. He burned books and then burned the men who read such books beside them. He erased entire languages and cultures and forged a single, united country out of all that. For all that he contributed to China, the title tyrant is not wrongly awarded to him. 

But with such a strong, charismatic, forceful leader, you eventually have to face the big problem: their death. The Qin Dynasty really didn’t last long after Qin Shi Huang’s passing. The Han dynasty right after was even more short-lived. Some historians even called that dynasty a stillbirth. The thing that followed was a period of pure chaos and violence where differences and ethnic tension that had brewed throughout Qin and Han dynasties finally exploded. 

Thus, was born the Wei Jin Northern and Southern Dynasties, where the previously united Empire fractured into various petty kingdoms warring against each other. At one point, there were sixteen petty kingdoms where a united empire once was. What followed were approximately three centuries of various ancient states, petty kingdoms, cultures, and ethnic groups killing, fucking, cannibalizing, marrying into each other, massacring each other, tearing, and mushing apart and into each other until they eventually became a much more homogenized cultural and racial amalgamation and arrived (with a minor hiccup at the Song dynasty, another very short-lived dynasty) at the Tang Dynasty, which was considered a golden age in Chinese history and lasted for four centuries.

So then, in an era like this, being a reigning royal is not that big of a deal as you may think it is. In fact, this specific era was known as the era where the Noble Houses and not Kings were the ones who held the real power. Yes, noble houses like the Wen, the Jiang, the Jin, the Nie, and the Lan. Because there was no effective central power, the historical counterparts of the Houses in MDZS held power that they wouldn’t in other dynasties. Not only did they own vast territories and held legal power over them, but they also charged tax brackets that were previously only charged by Emperors or Kings. They could gather army conscripts and organize their own armed forces. 

In the novel MDZS, the cultivator Houses acted exactly like the historical Noble Houses during the real Wei Jin Northern and Southern Dynasties. They held massive territories and could exert certain levels of administrative and legal power over them. They held hunting rights, tax rights. In the novel, during the Sunshot campaigns, all cultivator houses started gathering conscripts and volunteers for their Sunshot war. And finally, under Jin Guangyao’s reign, they built massive military structures. This would be unthinkable in both the era before and after this one specific era. 

Ah… going too far off the topic. I digress. The point is, being actual reigning kings during this era is really not what it seems, let alone being long-lost royals. Because being long-lost royals means your royal family probably already kicked the bucket in historical Chinese Game of Thrones… and that means… you are a slave. 

Yep, slavery. During this time in ancient China, society was separated into a strict nine-ranked caste system. Depending on which rank a person was, they might have certain rights (and duties) and could do certain jobs, and enjoy some level of protection from the provincial government. But if you are low on this ranking scale, you are effectively… not a human at all, not in the eye of the law. 

Indeed, the lower ranks of this caste system were effectively serfs, who, if they dared leave the territory of their lord, would open themselves up to slave cartels. For example: Jin Guangyao’s mom, Meng Si, during this era would be categorized as Jianren (賤人, lit: petty person, this is the insult Madam Yu used against Wang Lingjiao), an owned Jianren at that. This means that even if she quit the brothel and took young Meng Yao with her, her caste as Jianren would still remain… which means she and her son Meng Yao would be forbidden from official examinations, would not enjoy protection from the law, would not be able to own particular business, would not be able to buy and own properties, and could only do lowly, menial jobs reserved for Jianren… unless she could pay an exorbitant amount of money and favor to a local magistrate to have him create new documentations for her and push her up on the caste system. Should she run and leave the city where she was based in, without the right documentation, she would open herself and her son up to roving slave cartels in the unprotected territory between city-states. Once she fell into slavery, her status as a slave, alongside her son, would be effectively legal in the eyes of the law (what passed for it) at that time. 

Slavery is legal during Wei Jin era. In fact, slavery in China was legal up until very recently, in the last century. It was accepted and practiced wide-spread. 

By that same system, if you were a citizen of a city-state on the losing side of a war, you would also be effectively a slave. Under this sytem, entire cities and small kingdoms of people were enslaved. Indeed, this is how Qi Huang Wen branch including Wen Qing and Wen Ning were treated in the novel: as slaves of the losing side. Originally they were stationed at Ganquan 甘泉 until Jin Zixun came and forced Wen Ning and other Wen people to Qiongqi Path, which was owned by the Jin. Because they were effectively slaves, even when they did nothing wrong, no one stood up for them. No one but Wei Ying.    

This is even pointed out when Wei Ying said in the novel that because they are Wen, so they are not humans. Is that what you mean? When he went to Qiongqi Path the first time. In the eye of Chinese society of that time, the Wen... really weren’t considered humans at all.

So the point is, even if Wei Ying is long-lost royalty, in the eyes of the people in MDZS, he would be effectively a slave or from slave blood. So, Madam Yu did actually have a point when she repeatedly insulted Wei Ying (and his father) and treated them as she would a slave. Because in the eye of society of that time, they were slaves. It didn’t matter how talented Wei Changzhe was or that he was married to the disciple of Baoshan Sanren, a peer of the founders of all 5 great houses, he was still a slave. It didn’t matter how talented Wei Ying was or that he was a war hero or that he spoke truth, because he came from lowly blood, because he had no House and no Clan behind them, anyone at all (Jin Zixun, Jin Zixuan, Jiang Cheng, effectively the entire cultivator world) would feel like they could push him around and insult him without fearing retaliations. In an era without law, if you are alone, then you are automatically guilty. 

 3. Real-life cultivators are actually super anti-authority anarchist hippies. Also, MDZS world is probably heading for cultivator’s Armageddon. Also, Lan Qiren is full of shit. Two of the three Founding Sages of Daoism (real-life basis of cultivation and xianxia) say so.  

-To Be Continued (I’m tired. This is longer than I thought. I’ll complete this another day)- 

[thelordofgifs]

tfs essay? tfs essay. Today I would like to go on a lengthy lengthy ramble about Maedhros and Maglor’s relationship in the third arc and literally nobody can stop me.

Dedicating this to @and-the-times-we-had both because I promised an essay in an ask game thing and because you have been the most encouraging enthusiastic kind reader since literally part 1! 💕

Spoilers up to part 30 below the cut.

One of my favourite things about the third arc of tfs – i.e. parts 21-30 – has been examining the dynamic between Maedhros and Maglor, which following the events of part 19 and 20 has actually changed quite significantly from their dynamic in canon, in my opinion. (It is, it turns out, possible to take one of the most codependent claustrophobic relationships in the entire book and make it even worse.) This is mainly because Maedhros stabbed Maglor, and they’re both rather traumatised by the whole incident. Maedhros, in particular, spends all of part 19 having a breakdown about it and then an identity crisis in part 20:

But he always thought – he always thought he was, if nothing else, beyond reproach as an elder brother.

It was only ever a delusion. Amrod and Celegorm both died because Maedhros failed to protect them, after all.

But this is different. He has killed Maglor himself – no need for metaphor. He held his little brother with one arm and drove a blade into his side with the other.

Who is he, if not that? What is left of him if Maglor is gone – if he cannot be Maglor’s protector anymore, because Maglor is dead – because Maedhros killed him?

Although Maedhros does find the strength to do the right thing in part 20 – he finds Maglor in the cave, and asks him to stay – he finishes that section of the story with these questions unanswered, and spends most of the third arc quietly grappling with them. The way I write them, both Maedhros and Maglor define themselves very strongly by who they are to each other (PSA! this is not healthy!) and Maglor, too, bases a lot of his identity on the fact that Maedhros needs him, and has needed him since Angband. It is, I think, the only way he can attempt to atone for what he thinks of as the worst thing he ever did: leaving Maedhros there. Curufin, who is very stupid and also occasionally very smart, points this out to him when he tells him, “You don’t know who you are if you aren’t someone he needs,” – a line which rather haunts Maglor, later, because he doesn’t really have a way to refute it:

You don’t know who you are, said Curufin, if you aren’t someone he needs.

But I am, Maglor thinks now, with Maedhros’ head resting on his knee, I am, I am.

(part 22)

and

You don’t know who you are if you aren’t someone he needs, said Curufin.

What does Curufin know about anything? Maglor asks himself angrily.

(part 25)

And it's true! Maedhros does need Maglor. He tells Maglor so via ósanwë in part 20, and Maglor clings to that knowledge all through the third arc, as Maedhros' mental state slowly deteriorates, and he relies on Maglor more and more heavily. But Maglor is still scared! He's still defining himself far too much as Maedhros' Support Person:

“Will you not reach for me?” Maglor says, desperately.

What will he do, if Maedhros walks away? What good is he, if Maedhros does not need him?

(part 29)

So! basically. they aren't very normal about each other. But, importantly, Maedhros starts to realise this! He realises that he asks a lot of Maglor, and that Maglor is unable to deny him anything ever, and that Maglor is absolutely terrified by the prospect of Maedhros not needing him anymore. So in part 22:

“I ask so much of you,” says Maedhros, “and you keep on giving it—”

Maglor begins the painstaking work of unravelling the messy braids he has scattered through Maedhros’ hair. “I will,” he says, “I always will;” and Maedhros shudders.

those last three words are important: and Maedhros shudders. I tried to keep a fairly consistent theme running through this arc that Maglor keeps telling Maedhros, in words and actions, I love you I love you I love you, and the more he says it the more upset Maedhros gets: both because he doesn't think he deserves Maglor's love after he stabbed him, and because he is beginning to realise that this relationship is deeply deeply codependent. (I deliberately avoided Maedhros' POV for most of the arc, both for suspense reasons and because being inside his head would have been... upsetting, so a lot of this had to be subtextual, but I hope it came through a little bit!) So we get weird exchanges like this one:

Maglor stares at his fingers. "It isn't the right answer," he says. "I don't know if I can explain why. Yes, that Silmaril does not belong to Thingol, and yet..." He looks up at Maedhros. "But I will ask her, if you command it."

Maedhros takes a sharp step back, and then another. "No. No!" His face is white. He takes a breath and smiles, with noticeable effort. "I am not your lord any more, Káno. Himring is fallen. You need not take command from me."

and this one:

“All right,” he says. “I will not fight if you do not wish it, Nelyo. I know your heart will be easier if I am safe.”

But when Maedhros steps back to look at him there is a flash of wild despair in his eyes. Maglor cannot understand it.

(Maedhros: please please please do this thing for me

Maglor: I don’t really want to but for you anything

Maedhros, internally: WHY ARE YOU DOING WHAT I ASKED YOU TO DO THIS IS TERRIBLE)

When the idea of Maedhros willingly going to Sauron first came to me, I was both intrigued and rather intimidated by the obvious question: why on earth would Maedhros do this when he knows how deeply it will hurt Maglor? I think the answer I settled on is quite satisfying – he is doing it because it will hurt Maglor, because Maglor’s forgiveness causes him extreme distress and he wants his brother to hate him instead. This is why he keeps telling Maglor that he does not deserve to be forgiven, and that Maglor should hate him; and Maglor keeps trying to reassure him by telling him that he does forgive him, and will never hate him, and Maedhros keeps getting more and more upset by these reassurances. I don’t think there’s anything Maglor could have done differently! It is the very fact of his love that is hurting Maedhros, and it’s not like he’s just going to stop being weirdly unhealthily devoted to his brother. That’s been the cornerstone of his identity for coming up on five hundred years, after all.

Anyway, Maedhros is beginning to understand this, and in part 30 sums up the situation pretty concisely:

That, of course, is the problem: that Maedhros needs Maglor, and hurts him by needing him so, puts shadows under his eyes and an anxious cast to his sweet melodious voice – and that he cannot stop taking from him, and Maglor will never stop giving it.

Will you not reach for me? Maglor said, his voice jagged with fear; and so Maedhros reached. He always reaches. Because Maglor needs Maedhros to need him, and so they bind themselves ever tighter to each other, and it cannot – it cannot go on like this, not when Maedhros looked upon the person he loved more than anything and readied himself to kill him.

Maedhros needs Maglor, and Maglor needs Maedhros to need him: the root of the problem. They're both perfectly aware of this situation! But Maglor is... honestly not that concerned by it, whereas to Maedhros it has become untenable, both because he doesn't think he deserves Maglor's devotion and because he can tell the dynamic hurts Maglor.

("Will you not reach for me?", for the record, is the third arc's equivalent of part 19's "Ask me to stay and I'll stay" - both lines that Maglor says to Maedhros, desperate attempts to get Maedhros to reaffirm that he needs Maglor. In part 19, Maedhros' response is to tell Maglor he cannot do that, and then in part 20 he does ask Maglor to stay. This sequence of events reverses in parts 29 and 30: Maedhros does reach for Maglor in part 29, and then decides not to in part 30. You only ever had to ask – but he doesn't.)

... You can love someone very deeply, and understand them better than anyone else does, and still hurt them terribly, I think.

[spacerangersam]

Could you tell me more about some of your ocs???? (Only if you’re up for it tho)

I’m always down to gush about my ocs! But I do have a lot of them, especially with the story I'm currently working on, and I don’t always know what to say, so sorry if this is a bit all over the place. This isn’t even everyone, I left out a few like the main antagonist, Irene and a few other side characters for the sake of this not being essay length but yeah. Here are some of the main guys:

(also, unless otherwise specified, they're all welsh)

Simon Huw Taylor, 32, tenant of flat no. 6, he/they, bi and ace (maybe on the aro spectrum, but idk. It’s none of my business).

He’s the main character of my story, Where the Lost Souls Meet. He’s a pretty quiet guy who likes to keep to himself, much to his own detriment. He’s been travelling around all his life, never really interacting with people his own age, leaving him with mediocre socialising skills. He can see ghosts, has been able to since childhood, and is a mortician while doing psychic ghost stuff on the side. His mum could also see ghosts and she also did the ghost business, which is why he and his parents were moving around all the time, basically living in their van/hotels). To honour her, Simon uses her maiden name for ghost work (meaning his name is then Simon Huw Hughes, which I just thought was cute). She died a few years back, his father even earlier, leaving Simon the last of his family line and all alone in the world.

His whole life revolves around death, which isn’t healthy but Simon would rather die than go to therapy and actually address his problems, so it stays that way for a while. He does try to quit smoking though, so that’s something. He is also a liar. Dear god does he love to lie about everything and anything, to everyone. Well, I say loves to lie, he doesn’t really love it. He does it both to keep himself safe and to keep others from worrying about him. Honestly, he’s fine, he’s functional, and he definitely has family who loves him. Just don’t ask to meet his ‘sister’. He also tries to protect people by keeping a certain distance from them, not wanting to hurt them like he’s been hurt because of [REDACTED], which is why he kept moving around even after his mother died. But he desperately wanted top surgery and so stopped in this town with a well-known trans-safe doctor to get it done, and unfortunately for him landed in a manor turned flat filled with people who very much would like to be his friends, please.

He has no hope for the future, no plans, having a fairly pessimistic look on life because of [REDACTED], and is basically just waiting for the day he finally dies. Again, will he do anything about this? Maybe, eventually, at some point.

He doesn’t like / struggles to watch TV and movies, his ideal night involves doing puzzles and maybe a spot of reading, he loves puns and he’s a vegetarian. I love him and his terrible coping mechanism. Go king, communicate absolutely nothing and never let people share your burdens. 

Also, his neighbour dies in front of him during an argument one day, which isn't great, going on to haunt Simon in a distinctly violent fashion, which is the thing he's desperately trying to deal with in the story.

more losers under the cut

Charlie Tops, 35, tenant no. 5, he/him, trans bi+ace. He’s a very sweet guy, very open, with major himbo energy, just without the muscles. He makes the best tea and the worst coffee. He writes kid's books in the vein of Winnie the Pooh / Peter Rabbit, taking over the job after his grandfather passed, now writing them for his own daughter, Lottie. But Lottie’s getting older and losing interest in those types of books, and so he’s losing interest in writing them and having a mild panic over what he’ll do next. He’s kinda obsessed with taxidermies. His flat is quite literally filled with them and no one likes it, nobody wants to be in there, and the vibes are way off (except Will for, who thinks it’s very interesting, actually).

He’s deeply in love with Simon and they have a thing. An unexplained, deeply intimate thing that neither talk about, mostly because Simon can’t communicate for shit (which he feels deeply guilty about, and he keeps telling himself that he’ll break it off but can never quite work up to it), and Charlie’s worried if he asks, Simon will end it. He really struggles with Simon’s whole silent martyr ordeal even outside their thing because even if he doesn’t know the extent to which Simon is trying to hide his problems, he knows there is something being hidden, but again, is worried about pushing too hard and losing him completely. It’s messy, but they’ll work through it. 

He can’t see ghosts but does know about them, unlike the other Woodward tenants, and feels a bit left out /awkward about the whole thing. He had an amicable divorce from his wife Irene after he realised he was ace, she realised she was aro, and that they were both trans, the two staying friends and her staying on as the illustrator for his books. And as I mentioned earlier, he does have a daughter, Lottie.

William Isaiah Beaton, 30, tenant no. 7, he/him, gay, English. An archivist for the local museum who moves into the manor in chapter one, and comes off as a tough, rude ex-vet.  And that is true, to a certain extent. He is rude, and an ex-vet. But he wasn’t in the army for long, he got mowed down by a car on base like, two weeks after arriving, leaving him with a permanent injury to his leg. He feels he failed to live up to his father’s expectations, and in shame, never told the truth to his father about having to leave the forces. Will has… a lot of complicated feelings about that, and his relationship with his father, and his relationship with his religion. He works some of that last one out with help from Penny.

It’s a bit of a spoiler, but whatever- he can see ghosts. He doesn’t realise that’s what’s happening though and instead is fully convinced he’s just losing his mind, and that crash did irreparable damage to his head. Nah though, just ghosts. Has a guilty love of werewolf media and cake, and cares a lot about bugs and plants (he even ends up taking Simon’s plants off him, because Simon kills every plant he owns, without question). He has limited zero social skills and finds big groups overwhelming, but nevertheless, he will be dragged into this friendship group (if Penny has any say in it, at least). He came to Hangar for a reason, though he doesn’t say why.

He also definitely fancies Simon and has no idea how to handle that. It’s the first time he’s fancied a man (or at least, a man-adjecent person) who isn’t straight, and that coupled with the fatc Simon actually seems to like him is just a lot for him to process. The two of them bond over their shared loved of history / interest in the history of the manor.

I should make it clear: this isn’t a love triangle, this is poly thing.

The ghouls:

Florence Blossom (left), 40, and Gwenllian Baker (right), 42. Both were performers in a small acting trope who died in 1941 (though not at the same time or in the same way, funnily enough) in the manor Simon lives in. They love each other very much.

Florence is a bit judgy, loves a good moan, and is very anxious about everything and everyone, always. Her anxiety tends to make her come off as a bit snappy. She can control the lights.

Gwen is a bit vacant, with her head absolutely in the clouds at all times. She struggles a bit with empathy and reading the room, leading her to be mindlessly cruel sometimes. She never means it though and genuinely cares about Simon and Florence, and will look after them both in her own weird ways. she can lock, unlock, close and open doors

Now back to the living:

Agatha Jeorme, 55, tenant  no. 1. She’s kinda like if an angsty teen was stuck in the body of a middle-aged woman, and we love her for that. She’s the daughter of the landlord and hates it. If she had any other skills / if her father had helped her get a better opportunity elsewhere like he did with her brothers, she would have jumped on it. But instead, he gave her the job of looking after Woodward. She hates him, deeply. She often shovels off small jobs onto Simon because she knows he won’t say no, and is having an affair with the next-door neighbour’s wife. I kind of made her sound like a bastard, and she is kinda, but a fun one I hope, and she does learn to be less of a bastard as the story goes on. 

Gwynfor Geraint Jones, 34, tenant no. 2, he/she, bigender, aroace. Just a chill guy who loves rock music and slasher movies. She’s in a QPR with Adam, them being the first two to move into Woodward. this isn't entirely related to his character, but he's called gwynfor geraint after two twins i went to primary school with. their names always stuck in my head, in so i thought i'd put them to good use.

Adam Diana Keats, 36 tenant tenant, no.3, she/her, aroace trans woman, Scottish. She’s a librarian with a love of reading, especially poetry, and a bit pushy, a bit bossy, but ultimately well-meaning. She’ll drag Simon out of his room but with the intent to encourage him to mingle and hang out with the Woodward crew, you know. She hates Will on sight. There’s more I could say, but that would be spoilers. also, despite her dark academic vibes, she does love a good animal print

Penny Sion Seagrove, 29, no.4, she/her, lesbian. A tired, friendly gardener who would love it if everyone would get along and be friendly. She sometimes sticks her nose in places she shouldn’t to figure out people’s beef with each other (cough, Adam and Will, cough) to see if she can find a way to squash it for them, which doesn’t usually work. She tries anyway. She’s Catholic, shares Simon’s love of puns, and is dating Alice.

Alice Rhodri Blackwood, 30, she/her, trans lesbian. She lives in town with her best mate Mickey. She’s a loud, cheery, extroverted goth with an interest in witchcraft who can also see ghosts. She has slightly different opinions about ghosts and how they work from Simon, but she’s still his go-to when he’s having ghost issues. 

Mickey Dolores Palmer, 29, she/her, English (Yorkshire). Idk what her deal is, and she just is, you know. A very nervous, clumsy, mousy person who works at the local museum. She tends to jump to conclusions and is not a fan of ghosts. Unfortunately, she can also see ghosts, so that’s not great for her. She's doing her best.

god i wrote way too much for this, sorry asdfghj. but uh, also, i did a voice claim video for some of these losers, if you're interested. also,t hank you so much for asking. i do love talking about these idiots

[the-land-of-women]

Since next to no one who is criticising and labelling jkr as a bigot has actually read what she said I’m gonna paste her essay from 2020 here:

“This isn’t an easy piece to write, for reasons that will shortly become clear, but I know it’s time to explain myself on an issue surrounded by toxicity. I write this without any desire to add to that toxicity.

For people who don’t know: last December I tweeted my support for Maya Forstater, a tax specialist who’d lost her job for what were deemed ‘transphobic’ tweets. She took her case to an employment tribunal, asking the judge to rule on whether a philosophical belief that sex is determined by biology is protected in law. Judge Tayler ruled that it wasn’t.

My interest in trans issues pre-dated Maya’s case by almost two years, during which I followed the debate around the concept of gender identity closely. I’ve met trans people, and read sundry books, blogs and articles by trans people, gender specialists, intersex people, psychologists, safeguarding experts, social workers and doctors, and followed the discourse online and in traditional media. On one level, my interest in this issue has been professional, because I’m writing a crime series, set in the present day, and my fictional female detective is of an age to be interested in, and affected by, these issues herself, but on another, it’s intensely personal, as I’m about to explain.

All the time I’ve been researching and learning, accusations and threats from trans activists have been bubbling in my Twitter timeline. This was initially triggered by a ‘like’. When I started taking an interest in gender identity and transgender matters, I began screenshotting comments that interested me, as a way of reminding myself what I might want to research later. On one occasion, I absent-mindedly ‘liked’ instead of screenshotting. That single ‘like’ was deemed evidence of wrongthink, and a persistent low level of harassment began.

Months later, I compounded my accidental ‘like’ crime by following Magdalen Berns on Twitter. Magdalen was an immensely brave young feminist and lesbian who was dying of an aggressive brain tumour. I followed her because I wanted to contact her directly, which I succeeded in doing. However, as Magdalen was a great believer in the importance of biological sex, and didn’t believe lesbians should be called bigots for not dating trans women with penises, dots were joined in the heads of twitter trans activists, and the level of social media abuse increased.

I mention all this only to explain that I knew perfectly well what was going to happen when I supported Maya. I must have been on my fourth or fifth cancellation by then. I expected the threats of violence, to be told I was literally killing trans people with my hate, to be called cunt and bitch and, of course, for my books to be burned, although one particularly abusive man told me he’d composted them.

What I didn’t expect in the aftermath of my cancellation was the avalanche of emails and letters that came showering down upon me, the overwhelming majority of which were positive, grateful and supportive. They came from a cross-section of kind, empathetic and intelligent people, some of them working in fields dealing with gender dysphoria and trans people, who’re all deeply concerned about the way a socio-political concept is influencing politics, medical practice and safeguarding. They’re worried about the dangers to young people, gay people and about the erosion of women’s and girl’s rights. Above all, they’re worried about a climate of fear that serves nobody – least of all trans youth – well.

I’d stepped back from Twitter for many months both before and after tweeting support for Maya, because I knew it was doing nothing good for my mental health. I only returned because I wanted to share a free children’s book during the pandemic. Immediately, activists who clearly believe themselves to be good, kind and progressive people swarmed back into my timeline, assuming a right to police my speech, accuse me of hatred, call me misogynistic slurs and, above all – as every woman involved in this debate will know – TERF.

If you didn’t already know – and why should you? – ‘TERF’ is an acronym coined by trans activists, which stands for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. In practice, a huge and diverse cross-section of women are currently being called TERFs and the vast majority have never been radical feminists. Examples of so-called TERFs range from the mother of a gay child who was afraid their child wanted to transition to escape homophobic bullying, to a hitherto totally unfeminist older lady who’s vowed never to visit Marks & Spencer again because they’re allowing any man who says they identify as a woman into the women’s changing rooms. Ironically, radical feminists aren’t even trans-exclusionary – they include trans men in their feminism, because they were born women.

But accusations of TERFery have been sufficient to intimidate many people, institutions and organisations I once admired, who’re cowering before the tactics of the playground. ‘They’ll call us transphobic!’ ‘They’ll say I hate trans people!’ What next, they’ll say you’ve got fleas? Speaking as a biological woman, a lot of people in positions of power really need to grow a pair (which is doubtless literally possible, according to the kind of people who argue that clownfish prove humans aren’t a dimorphic species).

So why am I doing this? Why speak up? Why not quietly do my research and keep my head down?

Well, I’ve got five reasons for being worried about the new trans activism, and deciding I need to speak up.

Firstly, I have a charitable trust that focuses on alleviating social deprivation in Scotland, with a particular emphasis on women and children. Among other things, my trust supports projects for female prisoners and for survivors of domestic and sexual abuse. I also fund medical research into MS, a disease that behaves very differently in men and women. It’s been clear to me for a while that the new trans activism is having (or is likely to have, if all its demands are met) a significant impact on many of the causes I support, because it’s pushing to erode the legal definition of sex and replace it with gender.

The second reason is that I’m an ex-teacher and the founder of a children’s charity, which gives me an interest in both education and safeguarding. Like many others, I have deep concerns about the effect the trans rights movement is having on both.

The third is that, as a much-banned author, I’m interested in freedom of speech and have publicly defended it, even unto Donald Trump.

The fourth is where things start to get truly personal. I’m concerned about the huge explosion in young women wishing to transition and also about the increasing numbers who seem to be detransitioning (returning to their original sex), because they regret taking steps that have, in some cases, altered their bodies irrevocably, and taken away their fertility. Some say they decided to transition after realising they were same-sex attracted, and that transitioning was partly driven by homophobia, either in society or in their families.

Most people probably aren’t aware – I certainly wasn’t, until I started researching this issue properly – that ten years ago, the majority of people wanting to transition to the opposite sex were male. That ratio has now reversed. The UK has experienced a 4400% increase in girls being referred for transitioning treatment. Autistic girls are hugely overrepresented in their numbers.

The same phenomenon has been seen in the US. In 2018, American physician and researcher Lisa Littman set out to explore it. In an interview, she said:

‘Parents online were describing a very unusual pattern of transgender-identification where multiple friends and even entire friend groups became transgender-identified at the same time. I would have been remiss had I not considered social contagion and peer influences as potential factors.’

Littman mentioned Tumblr, Reddit, Instagram and YouTube as contributing factors to Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria, where she believes that in the realm of transgender identification ‘youth have created particularly insular echo chambers.’

Her paper caused a furore. She was accused of bias and of spreading misinformation about transgender people, subjected to a tsunami of abuse and a concerted campaign to discredit both her and her work. The journal took the paper offline and re-reviewed it before republishing it. However, her career took a similar hit to that suffered by Maya Forstater. Lisa Littman had dared challenge one of the central tenets of trans activism, which is that a person’s gender identity is innate, like sexual orientation. Nobody, the activists insisted, could ever be persuaded into being trans.

The argument of many current trans activists is that if you don’t let a gender dysphoric teenager transition, they will kill themselves. In an article explaining why he resigned from the Tavistock (an NHS gender clinic in England) psychiatrist Marcus Evans stated that claims that children will kill themselves if not permitted to transition do not ‘align substantially with any robust data or studies in this area. Nor do they align with the cases I have encountered over decades as a psychotherapist.’

The writings of young trans men reveal a group of notably sensitive and clever people. The more of their accounts of gender dysphoria I’ve read, with their insightful descriptions of anxiety, dissociation, eating disorders, self-harm and self-hatred, the more I’ve wondered whether, if I’d been born 30 years later, I too might have tried to transition. The allure of escaping womanhood would have been huge. I struggled with severe OCD as a teenager. If I’d found community and sympathy online that I couldn’t find in my immediate environment, I believe I could have been persuaded to turn myself into the son my father had openly said he’d have preferred.

When I read about the theory of gender identity, I remember how mentally sexless I felt in youth. I remember Colette’s description of herself as a ‘mental hermaphrodite’ and Simone de Beauvoir’s words: ‘It is perfectly natural for the future woman to feel indignant at the limitations posed upon her by her sex. The real question is not why she should reject them: the problem is rather to understand why she accepts them.’

As I didn’t have a realistic possibility of becoming a man back in the 1980s, it had to be books and music that got me through both my mental health issues and the sexualised scrutiny and judgement that sets so many girls to war against their bodies in their teens. Fortunately for me, I found my own sense of otherness, and my ambivalence about being a woman, reflected in the work of female writers and musicians who reassured me that, in spite of everything a sexist world tries to throw at the female-bodied, it’s fine not to feel pink, frilly and compliant inside your own head; it’s OK to feel confused, dark, both sexual and non-sexual, unsure of what or who you are.

I want to be very clear here: I know transition will be a solution for some gender dysphoric people, although I’m also aware through extensive research that studies have consistently shown that between 60-90% of gender dysphoric teens will grow out of their dysphoria. Again and again I’ve been told to ‘just meet some trans people.’ I have: in addition to a few younger people, who were all adorable, I happen to know a self-described transsexual woman who’s older than I am and wonderful. Although she’s open about her past as a gay man, I’ve always found it hard to think of her as anything other than a woman, and I believe (and certainly hope) she’s completely happy to have transitioned. Being older, though, she went through a long and rigorous process of evaluation, psychotherapy and staged transformation. The current explosion of trans activism is urging a removal of almost all the robust systems through which candidates for sex reassignment were once required to pass. A man who intends to have no surgery and take no hormones may now secure himself a Gender Recognition Certificate and be a woman in the sight of the law. Many people aren’t aware of this.

We’re living through the most misogynistic period I’ve experienced. Back in the 80s, I imagined that my future daughters, should I have any, would have it far better than I ever did, but between the backlash against feminism and a porn-saturated online culture, I believe things have got significantly worse for girls. Never have I seen women denigrated and dehumanised to the extent they are now. From the leader of the free world’s long history of sexual assault accusations and his proud boast of ‘grabbing them by the pussy’, to the incel (‘involuntarily celibate’) movement that rages against women who won’t give them sex, to the trans activists who declare that TERFs need punching and re-educating, men across the political spectrum seem to agree: women are asking for trouble. Everywhere, women are being told to shut up and sit down, or else.

I’ve read all the arguments about femaleness not residing in the sexed body, and the assertions that biological women don’t have common experiences, and I find them, too, deeply misogynistic and regressive. It’s also clear that one of the objectives of denying the importance of sex is to erode what some seem to see as the cruelly segregationist idea of women having their own biological realities or – just as threatening – unifying realities that make them a cohesive political class. The hundreds of emails I’ve received in the last few days prove this erosion concerns many others just as much. It isn’t enough for women to be trans allies. Women must accept and admit that there is no material difference between trans women and themselves.

But, as many women have said before me, ‘woman’ is not a costume. ‘Woman’ is not an idea in a man’s head. ‘Woman’ is not a pink brain, a liking for Jimmy Choos or any of the other sexist ideas now somehow touted as progressive. Moreover, the ‘inclusive’ language that calls female people ‘menstruators’ and ‘people with vulvas’ strikes many women as dehumanising and demeaning. I understand why trans activists consider this language to be appropriate and kind, but for those of us who’ve had degrading slurs spat at us by violent men, it’s not neutral, it’s hostile and alienating.

Which brings me to the fifth reason I’m deeply concerned about the consequences of the current trans activism.

I’ve been in the public eye now for over twenty years and have never talked publicly about being a domestic abuse and sexual assault survivor. This isn’t because I’m ashamed those things happened to me, but because they’re traumatic to revisit and remember. I also feel protective of my daughter from my first marriage. I didn’t want to claim sole ownership of a story that belongs to her, too. However, a short while ago, I asked her how she’d feel if I were publicly honest about that part of my life, and she encouraged me to go ahead.

I’m mentioning these things now not in an attempt to garner sympathy, but out of solidarity with the huge numbers of women who have histories like mine, who’ve been slurred as bigots for having concerns around single-sex spaces.

I managed to escape my first violent marriage with some difficulty, but I’m now married to a truly good and principled man, safe and secure in ways I never in a million years expected to be. However, the scars left by violence and sexual assault don’t disappear, no matter how loved you are, and no matter how much money you’ve made. My perennial jumpiness is a family joke – and even I know it’s funny – but I pray my daughters never have the same reasons I do for hating sudden loud noises, or finding people behind me when I haven’t heard them approaching.

If you could come inside my head and understand what I feel when I read about a trans woman dying at the hands of a violent man, you’d find solidarity and kinship. I have a visceral sense of the terror in which those trans women will have spent their last seconds on earth, because I too have known moments of blind fear when I realised that the only thing keeping me alive was the shaky self-restraint of my attacker.

I believe the majority of trans-identified people not only pose zero threat to others, but are vulnerable for all the reasons I’ve outlined. Trans people need and deserve protection. Like women, they’re most likely to be killed by sexual partners. Trans women who work in the sex industry, particularly trans women of colour, are at particular risk. Like every other domestic abuse and sexual assault survivor I know, I feel nothing but empathy and solidarity with trans women who’ve been abused by men.

So I want trans women to be safe. At the same time, I do not want to make natal girls and women less safe. When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman – and, as I’ve said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside. That is the simple truth.

On Saturday morning, I read that the Scottish government is proceeding with its controversial gender recognition plans, which will in effect mean that all a man needs to ‘become a woman’ is to say he’s one. To use a very contemporary word, I was ‘triggered’. Ground down by the relentless attacks from trans activists on social media, when I was only there to give children feedback about pictures they’d drawn for my book under lockdown, I spent much of Saturday in a very dark place inside my head, as memories of a serious sexual assault I suffered in my twenties recurred on a loop. That assault happened at a time and in a space where I was vulnerable, and a man capitalised on an opportunity. I couldn’t shut out those memories and I was finding it hard to contain my anger and disappointment about the way I believe my government is playing fast and loose with womens and girls’ safety.

Late on Saturday evening, scrolling through children’s pictures before I went to bed, I forgot the first rule of Twitter – never, ever expect a nuanced conversation – and reacted to what I felt was degrading language about women. I spoke up about the importance of sex and have been paying the price ever since. I was transphobic, I was a cunt, a bitch, a TERF, I deserved cancelling, punching and death. You are Voldemort said one person, clearly feeling this was the only language I’d understand.

It would be so much easier to tweet the approved hashtags – because of course trans rights are human rights and of course trans lives matter – scoop up the woke cookies and bask in a virtue-signalling afterglow. There’s joy, relief and safety in conformity. As Simone de Beauvoir also wrote, “… without a doubt it is more comfortable to endure blind bondage than to work for one’s liberation; the dead, too, are better suited to the earth than the living.”

Huge numbers of women are justifiably terrified by the trans activists; I know this because so many have got in touch with me to tell their stories. They’re afraid of doxxing, of losing their jobs or their livelihoods, and of violence.

But endlessly unpleasant as its constant targeting of me has been, I refuse to bow down to a movement that I believe is doing demonstrable harm in seeking to erode ‘woman’ as a political and biological class and offering cover to predators like few before it. I stand alongside the brave women and men, gay, straight and trans, who’re standing up for freedom of speech and thought, and for the rights and safety of some of the most vulnerable in our society: young gay kids, fragile teenagers, and women who’re reliant on and wish to retain their single sex spaces. Polls show those women are in the vast majority, and exclude only those privileged or lucky enough never to have come up against male violence or sexual assault, and who’ve never troubled to educate themselves on how prevalent it is.

The one thing that gives me hope is that the women who can protest and organise, are doing so, and they have some truly decent men and trans people alongside them. Political parties seeking to appease the loudest voices in this debate are ignoring women’s concerns at their peril. In the UK, women are reaching out to each other across party lines, concerned about the erosion of their hard-won rights and widespread intimidation. None of the gender critical women I’ve talked to hates trans people; on the contrary. Many of them became interested in this issue in the first place out of concern for trans youth, and they’re hugely sympathetic towards trans adults who simply want to live their lives, but who’re facing a backlash for a brand of activism they don’t endorse. The supreme irony is that the attempt to silence women with the word ‘TERF’ may have pushed more young women towards radical feminism than the movement’s seen in decades.

The last thing I want to say is this. I haven’t written this essay in the hope that anybody will get out a violin for me, not even a teeny-weeny one. I’m extraordinarily fortunate; I’m a survivor, certainly not a victim. I’ve only mentioned my past because, like every other human being on this planet, I have a complex backstory, which shapes my fears, my interests and my opinions. I never forget that inner complexity when I’m creating a fictional character and I certainly never forget it when it comes to trans people.

All I’m asking – all I want – is for similar empathy, similar understanding, to be extended to the many millions of women whose sole crime is wanting their concerns to be heard without receiving threats and abuse.”

[nerves-nebula]

!!!!!!! IVE FINDALLY FOUND A FELLOW MANDELA CATALOG DISLIKER

I've been into the ARG/Unfiction genre since like. 2015. And literally I've understood the hype around almost every unfiction project to some degree, EXCEPT for Mandela catalogue. Like. I've never understood the hype. Maybe it's just because I found it to feel very formulaic but like. Some of the faces used for this that are meant to be slightly unsettling are just,, not perfectly proportional and are badly lit?? Like literally that's it. Like there are real people who look like that. Fix the lighting and it's just gonna look like your neighbor of something. It's not very scary

But also like, for real? On your points abt how the series itself gives off A Lot if proto-fascistic messaging,

when I first watched it I was like "oh! That's the point! This is abt how fascist governments use media like TV to influence and misinform the public in service to facism and paranoia. Like these doppelgangers aren't actually real! They're just made up boogiemen to incentivize the public to turn on their neighbors/to attack people who are disfigured or disabled" and I thought that I finally was maybe getting why people found it interesting and that I had judged it too harshly

And then it wasn't that and instead was like "yeah no. There IS a secret boogeyman group who aren't (side eye to that) who are gonna steal your children via television (even Bigger side eye), and nearly off of them are just like, slightly photoshopped pictures of Real People but now they're just disfigured/disabled/literally just slightly non proportional features

This series could be very cool, but its just a thematic mess and is (intentionally or not) communicating a lot of facistic/eugenic sentiments

Idk if this anon is well phrased but like. You're so right it's unreal

-Gonzo

HAHAHHHHH YESSSS. YESSSSS. ITS SUCH A MESSSS.

LIKE. what is the POINT. half the "scary" ppl look like someone I'd see on the bus. the intruder looks like the homeless guy who asked me for bus fair a while back.

CRUCIALLY I don't think any of the bigotry was intentional, however it's SO thoroughly interwoven into Alex's worldview and the world he's created that it's like. at the fucking center of everything. it's insane to me how full grown adults analyze it on youtube and somehow manage to do that without comparing and compiling all the tropes it uses to make its point (whatever it's point even IS)

whenever me & my friend talk about it we somehow manage to keep tripping into different kinds of bigotry!! we'll be talking about ableism and how Adam's arc is very similar to many changeling tropes, which were (and to some extent still are, see: Star Children/Indigo Children) often used to abuse neurodivergent or mentally ill/disabled children. and we'll realize that Adam arc ALSO mirrors the Tragic Mulatto storyline too and it's like wow!! Two in one! you've done it so bad!!

a lot of the issues with it are small little things that could be excused as a coincidence- EXCEPT THERE'S SO MANY LITTLE THINGS THAT IT BECOMES IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE.

it's like- ok imagine this: you're having an interaction with someone and they do a microaggression at you, right? not outwardly bigoted, just kind of ignorant. and you're like, ok. fine. nobody is perfect, they probably didn't mean any harm. it's not worth kicking up a fuss about.

but if it keeps happening EVERY SINGLE TIME you talk to this person, it starts to build inside you and it's like. it's hard to even say why you hate them because you'd need to drag out every shitty tiny thing they've said and at that point you feel like maybe you're just being petty- BUT IT'S NOT PETTY IF IT HAPPENS EVERY SINGLE TIME AAA

ok sorry i started writing an essay again. i think my bud's gonna like this tho he's gonna be so happy other people did actually notice