#in which Ruth is a student

[zeromorph]

exam passed! I'm gonna be licensed! I can recycle my pile of practice exam notes notes and think about other things! I have class this evening (the last class!) but tomorrow I am turning my brain off for a day

[queenlucythevaliant]

Why did God harden the Pharaoh’s? I’m in a Bible as Lit class and someone brought up “wouldn’t that be against free will,” and why did God let the Israelites stay it in slavery for so long. Why is God different in the Old Testament to the New Testament? I hope this doesn’t bother you, with all these questions

Okay, so there are several different questions here and I'm going to try to address them all. I'm sure I'll miss something somewhere, so other more knowledgeable friends feel free to add on. Follow-ups are also very much welcome.

First off, Bible as literature class! Yikes. I took a Bible as lit class for my English minor years ago and my experience was pretty much wall-to-wall frustration. It was mostly an exercise in coming up with the most transgressive reads on Scripture possible and that really upset me.

I hope that your experience is better than mine. However, assuming that the class is at a secular university, I'd still encourage you to be intentional about talking the things you cover in class over with knowledgeable Christians in your life. I certainly benefitted a lot from doing so, both in the sense that I got to vent a whole bunch and in that I got help contextualizing the secular perspectives within Christian scholarship.

That out of the way: The God of the Bible is the same in both the Old and New Testaments.

I do understand where you’re coming from. It’s not uncommon for people to find God kind of inscrutable in the OT when they're more used to reading the NT. I actually think that's a failure on the part of the contemporary church in the West; large swaths of the OT tend to be understudied among lay-Christians.

Systematic theology can help a lot here. I'm just going to hit a few really broad highlights, but I really can't recommend Wayne Grudem highly enough if you're interested in more in-depth reading. Lots of people start with Bible Doctrine, but my family happened to have a copy of his enormous Systematic Theology tome in the basement when I was in high school and I got a lot out of just poking through that a little at a time too. A few quick bullets though:

Across all the Biblical texts, God is love. He glories in kindness to his people, whether it's in the covenant with Abraham, the Exodus, the faithful ministry of the prophets, Christ's ministry/death/resurrection, or the promised coming of his kingdom.

God is holy; he gives the Law to the Israelites so that they can approach his holiness without fearing for their lives and he sent Jesus so that we can do the same. Both Isaiah and Peter react with fear and awe in the face of God's holiness.

God is just. By virtue of his holiness, he cannot allow sin to go unpunished. As modern westerners, we often chafe against this but has any of us experienced justice that was actually pure? Justice is a form of faithfulness, and the same God who sent his people into exile poured out his wrath on his own son in our place. He has promised that one day, every evil will face his perfect justice.

God is faithful. He keeps his Covenant with Abraham even unto the cross. In the OT he is faithful husband to an adulterous people. In the NT he tells us that when we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself.

Lots of other characteristics but this answer is going to be long enough as it is. The only way to get a real sense for the continuity within the Bible is to read the whole Bible with an eye towards the continuity.

The reason that God is more approachable in the NT than the Old is that he became human. In the Incarnation, all of that holiness and justice and faithfulness and love that was God came to earth in our perfect likeness so that he could live beside us and die for us. God is certainly easier to approach in light of Christ's work, but he is utterly the same as he ever was. Read the Transfiguration and tell me that isn’t the God of Mount Sinai. Read John 1 and tell me it doesn’t remind you of the end of Job. Read the Gospels, Hebrews, and Revelation and play spot-the-OT-parallel. It's beautiful.

Why did God leave his people in slavery for so long? You could ask the same question about the Babylonian captivity and even about why Jesus waits to return and finally defeat Death. Why does he wait? Why let his people suffer?

Well. God is sovereign and he only permits evil to the extent that it ultimately accomplishes the very opposite of what it intends. Because the Israelites were slaves in Egypt, the Exodus was able to occur. The Exodus glorified God in extraordinary fashion, both among his own people and to the peoples of the ancient world. It was also a necessary type and precursor to Jesus's work on the cross. I don't think it's an overstatement to say that redemptive history rests on God's work in the Exodus, which is itself contingent on a period of slavery in Egypt.

“How long, O Lord” and “Come Lord Jesus” are the same sentiment in different words. We are still in exile, even now. We are chronologically exiled from the place where we belong, the New Jerusalem, and we mourn because we live in a fallen world in which sin and death can still hurt us. We can ask, just as the Prophets once asked, why God waits to vanquish the Enemy, extract suffering from the world, and restore our years that the locusts have eaten. And in each case (the slaves in Egypt, the Babylonian captivity, and the period of waiting for Jesus to return), the answer is that God does not fix it yet because He is doing something bigger!

Regarding Pharaoh's heart: this is basically a question of human nature. The easiest way that I can articulate it off the top of my head is using Augustine's fourfold state of man:

Prior to the fall, man was able either to sin or not to sin (posse peccare, posse non peccare)

The natural state of man after the fall is one in which he is unable not to sin (non posse non peccare). This was Pharaoh's state.

Following the work of Christ, regenerate man is able not to sin (posse non peccare)

In eternity, glorified man will be unable to sin (non posse peccare)

When we talk about man's will, we must acknowledge that our wills are subject to our nature. In other words, Pharaoh was a natural, fallen man. His nature was inherently sinful and his heart inherently hard.

What we've got here is sort of a "Jacob I have loved but Esau I have hated" situation. Pharaoh, in his natural state, had a hard heart and a natural enmity with God. God did not intervene to give him a heart of flesh. My people I have loved, but Pharaoh I have hated.

Not a perfect parallel, but I think it serves its purpose. The point is that God's sovereignty isn't in conflict with man's will, since our wills are a function of our natures. Man behaves however his nature inclines him to behave at any given time. We call this free will; however, God is entirely sovereign over all of it.

This is definitely a long, messy answer, but like I said, feel free to continue the conversation. I've got some biochem to work on, but I'm always happy to talk theology :)

[matan4il]

An incomplete "there's a good chance the icon you love and support is a Zionist" list

🌟 Raphael Lemkin, a Jewish Holocaust survivor, whose family was murdered during it. Lemkin is responsible for coining the term "genocide," and for every legal provision that exists today against it. His work against genocide was inspired by his Zionism.

🌟 Martin Luther King, Jr., who did not only support Israel and its right to security, a fellow participant at a dinner with MLK shortly before his assassination quotes him as having stopped a student attacking Zionism, and replied, "When people criticize Zionists, they mean Jews. You’re talking antisemitism." He also encouraged Americans in 1967 to support the Jewish state, as Egypt blockaded the Straits of Tiran, endangering Israeli citizens by cutting the country off from its oil supply.

🌟 Emma Lazarus, a Jewish American poet, whose words ("Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free") are engraved on the Statue of Liberty's pedestal, after they helped raise the money needed for its completion. Drawing from the value of Jewish solidarity, she also wrote, "Until we are all free, we are none of us free," adopted as a slogan by intersectionality (while many in the movement exclude Jews from it). She was a great supporter of establishing a state for Jews in the Jewish homeland, having argued for this idea years before the word "Zionist" was even coined.

🌟 The 14th Dalai Lama, the leader of the fight against the occupation of Tibet, who was invited in 1994 to Israel, at a time when China's communist regime did its best to prevent his visits anywhere in the world, and who came to Israel more than once, talking about the 2000 years long Zionism of Jewish culture in exile as an inspiration and role model for Tibetans. "Among Tibetan refugees, we are always saying to ourselves that we must learn the Jewish secret to keep our traditions, in some cases under hostile circumstances."

🌟 Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who spoke more than once about how her pursuit of justice is a continuation of that very same thing in Jewish tradition. She had repeatedly referred to American Zionist Jews as sources of inspiration. For example, in 2018, during her fifth visit to Israel, in a speech she gave when receiving the Genesis Award, she mentioned two such women, Emma Lazarus and Henrietta Szold.

🌟 Nelson Mandela had an ambivalent view of Israel, but repeatedly recognized its right to exist, which makes him a Zionist, he also called upon Arab states to do the same, and was favorable towards the Zionist Jews who supported him during his underground days. Mandela being critical of Israel and still a Zionist is an apt reminder that criticizing the Jewish state and opposing its very existence are NOT the same thing, and only one's antisemitic.

🌟 Felix Salten, the Jewish author of Bambi (the book Disney's movie is based on). The tale was originally a metaphor for Jews suffering antisemitism, something Salten personally had to cope with. He was also an ardent Zionist, feeling the self-liberation at the core of this ideology suited his idea of how to deal with Jew hatred.

🌟 Sun Yat-Sen, who helped end the rule of China's last imperial dynasty, was its first provisional president, and is nowadays honored as an important Chinese leader in both China and Taiwan (sometimes referred to as "Father of the Chinese Nation"). He was an enthusiastic supporter of Zionism. Among other instances of expressing that, he wrote in a 1920 letter to a leader of the Jewish community in Shang Hai about Zionism that it is, "one of the greatest movements of the present time. All lovers of Democracy cannot help but support wholeheartedly and welcome with enthusiasm the movement to restore your wonderful and historic nation, which has contributed so much to the civilization of the world and which rightfully deserves an honorable place in the family of nations."

🌟 Magnus Hirschfeld, a gay Jewish sexologist, nicknamed among other things "The Einstein of Sex" and "The Father of Gay Liberation," because his medical and scientific work on human sexuality, as well as social advocacy for women's, gay and trans rights, was nothing short of pioneering. He was persecuted by the Nazis to the point where he died in exile. They broke into his institute of sexual research, where the world's first clinic performing sex reassignments surgeries was located, and burned down the institute's library. Hirschfeld had attended a Zionist conference following the Balfor Declaration of 1917, and his work on sexual liberation found inspiration in young socialist Jewish Zionist workers he met during a visit to the Land of Israel in 1931-2.

🌟 Marcia Langton, a professor and prominent Aboriginal rights activist from Australia, who has been leading the fight against racism and for her community. She spoke out against the hijacking of native rights movements by terrorist sympathizers and antisemites, and has clearly stood against all loss of life, including that of Israelis.

🌟 Felix Zandman, a Holocaust survivor whose work on resistors is integrated into many smartphones, laptops, cars, satellites, hospital ventilators (saving many Covid patients), airplanes and more. Whenever the anti-Israel crowd is scrolling social media on their phones, they're enjoying the work of a Zionist, who enthusiastically supported the State of Israel, and even introduced an important improvement to the Israeli Merkava tank, which has likely saved many Israeli lives, Jewish and non-Jewish alike, and others like him, since Israel's high tech is considered only second to Silicon Valley (going back to at least the 1990's). If they truly wish to boycott everything that's been "contaminated" by Zionism, they should probably just boycott technology.

🌟 Rosa Parks, an African American leader of the civil rights movement (and someone who personally demonstrated how one can resist without turning violent). She was one of 200 notable black American leaders who publicly organized to express their support and respect of Zionism as the Jewish right to self-determination, and Israel as the manifestation of that right.

-> Like I said, this is VERY incomplete, even just in terms of how the overwhelming majority of Jews are Zionist, and have been since the inception of Judaism, which is itself Zionist. Over the years, this led to many non-Jewish human and native rights champions to be supportive of Zionism, too. Take note of who is being vilified, when the term "Zionist" is ignorantly used as if it means anything other than belief in the equal right of Jews to liberation and self-determination in the Jewish ancestral land. Especially when it is used as being inherently evil.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[queenshelby]

Chemical Reactions (P. 6)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy as J Robert Oppenheimer x Student Reader

Warning: Smut, Age-Gap, Infidelity

Words: 4,905

Note: The fic is spoiler free and my own fantasy and imagination. It is not historically and scientifically accurate.

Previous Parts: 1; 2; 3; 4; 5

“You really want to have this discussion now?” you sighed before reaching for the packet of cigarettes which you kept on the ledge of your chalkboard while leaning back against it. You were still half naked and your bare breasts were exposed.

“Considering the circumstances, I think that we must talk about it now. I understand if you would rather save yourself for someone who…” Robert began to say as you handed him your cigarette and before you interrupting him.

“Listen Robert, the fact that you are married doesn’t bother me and, clearly, it doesn’t bother you either as, otherwise, you wouldn’t have kissed me” you said before snatching the cigarette from his hand again, causing Robert to furrow his eyebrows.

“Now that, too, is presumptuous” he ought to point out in respect of which you laughed.

“Is it though?” you chuckled before expanding on the topic of fidelity. “I suppose your reputation precedes you. Despite, I know about Jean Tatlock and your affair with Ruth Tolman” you told him, causing Robert’s chin to drop. He sighed again and then he asked “how did you know?” to which, of course, you had already formulated a response in the back of your head.

“Women talk. Barbara Chevalier and Ruth Tolman are friends and I have overheard a few conversations between them since living here” you admitted to Robert before handing the cigarette back to him.

“Well, for the record, my affairs with these women are in the past. I have ended them both” Robert explained before inhaling the smoke of the cigarette without realising that, for you, the fact that he had ended those affairs, did not make a difference.

“Dr Oppenheimer, with respect, none of this really concerns me. I am not your wife” you chuckled, causing Robert’s eyes to widen. He was surprised by your attitude towards this topic and now regretted the fact that he had spoken up about it before he even had the chance to be with you, at least that once.

“I suppose we have officially passed the need for formalities, don’t you think?” Robert asked. “So please, call me Robert” he then said and you took him up on his offer while still standing there with the fabric of your dress stacked up over your hips and your bare nipples pointing right at him.

“Alright, Robert” you said before giving him a cheeky smile. “Now, let me tell you something about myself” you then told him and, sure enough, he was keen to hear about your thoughts on the current situation.

“I am a woman who does not believe in love or marriage, both of which are social conventions invented by human kind without any scientific backing whatsoever. In my opinion, questions concerning marital fidelity are minuscule in today’s society where one race is trying very hard to destroy another. We have bigger issues to worry about than our own emotions” you began to explain before snatching the cigarette from Robert’s hands again and continuing with your explanation. “What I do, however, believe in is physical and intellectual attraction giving rise to a connection between two people. I believe that we have such connection but, if you do not feel the same way, then perhaps you are right and this should stop now” you then said before disposing of the fag and stepping towards Robert again who looked both, stunned and confused.

“I haven’t met anyone quite like you and I am astonished by how mature you are at such a young age” he said in an almost whispering voice while caressing your face again gently. He was looking at you with desire and need again before, somewhat expectedly, pressing his lips onto yours for a split second before you pulled away from him once more.

“Unfortunatly maturity doesn’t necessarily translate to experience, as you will soon find out” you blushed, causing Robert to look at you in awe.

“I am sure you will do just fine” he teased, causing you to chuckle and roll your eyes all at the same time before you reached up and pulled his mouth to yours again.

The touch of his warm lips brushing against yours caused a thrill of excitement to rush through you. Robert’s kiss was soft, gentle, and then became more urgent as you opened your mouth to accept his tongue. Even though this was not your first kiss, you almost felt as if it was. This would be a night of firsts for both of you and your heart pounded so hard it hurt as you kissed him back fervently

“Come on” Robert then whispered after pulling away from you and guiding you towards the bed, which is when you quickly shuffled your dress down over your hips and disposed of it on the floor.

“Robert?” you then said with a husky voice before laying down on your back and looking up at him nervously as he disposed of the rest of his clothes as well, expect for his briefs.

“Yes? What is it?” he asked before joining you and hovering over you while caressing your face gently. He looked at you in awe and his eyes were reassuring.

“Take it slow, please” you whispered nervously before reaching up to run your hands through his hair.

“Of course. That goes without saying” Robert reassured you before he kissed you again and, this time around, he was deepening and lengthening the kiss, showing you just how much he wanted and desired you.

As you were kissing passionately, his hands reached around to caress you, causing your mostly naked bodies to rub against each other. Your bare breasts were now trapped against his chest and the feel of his warm body atop of yours caused shivers run down your spine.

Coming up to breathe, Robert eventually pulled away from you a little and, when he did, the tingling sensation he left behind on your lips made you smile.

Robert returned the smile you gave him and the smile that crossed his face warmed your trembling limbs and hid your excited nervousness. Despite the fact that you wanted this man more than anyone you had ever known, you felt somehow unstable when finally being faced with the idea of being intimate with someone else for the first time in your life.

The bravado you usually wore like a shield around him seemed to desert you, and even though you he couldn’t see much more than your face in this position, you felt naked under Robert’s heated gaze. You suddenly worried about your inexperience and you wondered whether this was actually a good idea.

Robert saw the panic of insecurity rise in your eyes, and he reached out to gently push a stray strand of hair behind your ear and grazed your bottom lip with his thumb before bringing his mouth to yours again. It was a slow kiss, deepening as his desire built even further. He knew he needed to go slow with you, take you gently and he hoped he could.

A hot rush travelled through your body as you responded to his kiss and felt his body shift, now enabling to graze his hands over your breasts.

“You are so beautiful” Robert then whispered before allowing not only his hands, but also his lips, to travel and you gasped as, eventually, you felt him nuzzle into your neck and trace your collarbone with his lips.

“That feels nice” you acknowledged as Robert was trailing his fingers over your skin and then you even moaned somewhat inadvertently when he brushed his fingers across your nipples. They surged under his caress and sent piercing streaks of arousal to your core. His caress was like a hot spark, and his touch excited you like you had not believed possible. You did not know how you could withstand his hands on the naked skin of your breasts for long but you knew that you had to try.

As Robert gazed over your naked flesh, you felt a blush creep up your neck. His eyes were so dark and full of lust, unlike anything else you had ever seen before and, just when Robert noticed your nervousness again, he pulled his hands away slightly, giving you some more time.

“Am I moving too fast?” he asked but you shook your head.

"No!” you groaned. “Touch me and kiss me again, please" you begged and you hoped that your voice would sound strong and self-assured. Unfortunately, you could not pull it off, and it shook with pure anxiety.

"As you wish” Robert chuckled before finally cupping one of your breasts and leaning down to slowly and gently swipe his tongue across one hard nipple.

"Oh my god" you whimpered as Robert teased the hard, little bud with his lips and rolled the other stiff nipple between two fingers.

“God, huh?” Robert teased. “I never expected to ever hear this word coming from your mouth…how unscientific of you…” he then joked just as you watched him lean over you.

“Just shut up and keep doing whatever you were doing to me. I am begging you, Robert” you joked for a moment while trying to pull his lips closer to your breasts again, which is when he took your thus-far neglected nipple into his warm mouth. He licked and sucked, alternating between the two stiff peaks, until you trembled and gasped on the edge of something you had never experienced before.

“Fuck, Robert” You felt feverish with excitement. Your mouth was dry, but your body was more alive than it had ever been before. Without him having even touched your mound, it was wet, yet felt as if it was on fire and throbbing with need. Shivers of anticipation shot up your spine, and you sucked your breath in raggedly as Robert dragged his insistent tongue down, letting it trail over your belly and to your navel.

“So perfect” Robert then murmured against your skin as he took his time exploring your body, trailing his fingers and mouth over your belly and thighs, before running them teasingly over the lace of your panties, making you moan loudly.

“Jesus Christ” you cursed, moaned and groaned in pleasure, causing Robert to look up at you and furrow his eyebrows.

“Don’t stop” you demanded as he was looking at you now with a cheeky smile having formed across his face and you tried to squirm up against him to simply gain some friction.

"I won’t, but I want to see all of you before I continue” Robert then said as his voice was thick with longing.

“Okay” you murmured in response, sounding desperate and anxious all at the same time. Your panties were moist, evidence of your excitement, and you were certain that he could smell your arousal as you hooked your thumbs inside the waistband of the lacy panties and wriggled out of them. You felt exposed, vulnerable, but also incredibly excited by the expression on his face, as he watched you offer your body to him. His expression showed eagerness, pleasure and even greed, you thought. There was no sign of the trepidation you had expected to see there.

“Now you” you then winked and, without taking his gaze from you, Robert stripped his briefs off quickly, throwing them to the side of the bed.

When you saw his erection, your breath caught in your throat. This was the first time you looked at a man’s most intimate body part, and in your virgin mind, it appeared impossibly thick and long. Your mound throbbed at the sight of it, but your stomach churned in repressed fear.

Eventually, you decided to proceed and Robert’s hands moved slowly and tenderly over your body again, pushing the anxiety from your mind as they wandered over your contours and cupped your mound gently. You groaned softly as his fingers caressed the lips, wet with your arousal, and then slid between their moistness into the entrance of your pussy.

"You are so wet” Robert then said as he buried his face against your neck while probing your entrance some more.

“Uh huh” you moaned in response as you moved your pelvis in time with his probing fingers. They were curious and insistent and were creating marvellous sensations in your core.

“Oh god Robert. This feels so nice” you eventually groaned as you spread your legs wider but your voice faded as Robert took immediate advantage of your pleasure, dipping his finger deeper inside your wetness. Your hips jerked suddenly at the unfamiliar sensation of being penetrated.

"I am sorry. I will go slow" Robert said, realising that this was too quick and too soon for you and, just as he let his thumb circle and caress the hood of your swollen clit, he could feel the heavy beating of your heart. Its rhythm matched his own, but the throbbing in his groin was wilder than he could remember.

“This feels incredible” you spoke with laboured breath and took every ounce of Robert’s willpower to restrain himself and not plough into you immediately. The scent of your mound was driving him wild, and it looked so good. All soft, swollen and slick with your excitement. It was the most welcoming sight he had seen in a long time.

“I want to taste you. May I?” Robert then whispered and your eyes widened. You knew what this meant and the thought of it alone aroused you incredibly.

“Yes” you thus moaned and, unable to restrain his need to taste your properly, Robert kissed down your body again so that he could let his tongue slide through your glistening labia and taste your delicious essence as his lips sought out your fleshy clit.

"Oh, fuck! Robert. Oh my god!” you moaned, squirming under his mouth. Your nails dug into his scalp to hold him there. You did not want him to ever stop. His tongue was creating sensations in you that you had never experienced before. Masturbation had always been good for you. You knew how to use your fingers expertly to bring yourself to climax, but this was different. It was warmer, wetter and more teasing, with an intense build up that made you want to thrash around and cry out in pleasure and frustration. You rocked your pelvis against his mouth, your inhibitions fading into the background of the sensations he gave you. You moved with him, demanding more as he licked and explored you.

Eventually, a squeal of pure pleasure tore from your lips as your spasms started deep inside. You trembled and gasped at the sensations that raced through your body exploded in a wave of pleasure that radiated back throughout your body again. As the waves of sensation crossed each other, you swore you would pass out. You held on to the here and now, enjoying the wild ride, and when you opened your eyes at last, you found Robert smiling at you.

"Fuck Robert, that was amazing. I had no idea! Is that how it feels for you? I mean, would it work the same way if I did this to you?" you asked, boldly reaching out to caress the rigid cock pressed into your side, eager at the thought of giving him the same pleasure he had just given you. It was hot and hard in your hands, and a small trickle of precum dribbled from the darkly coloured tip.

“Properly” Robert acknowledged and you moved to a better position and bent your head to tentatively stroke the velvety shaft against the side of your soft cheek, before dragging the tip of your tongue over the crown. Very gently, you drew it into your mouth and sucked slowly, lovingly, savouring his meaty thickness. You were surprised by your own enjoyment of this. You had never even contemplated it before.

"Fuck, I won't be able to hold out for too long, if you do that for much longer” Robert groaned after fifteen minutes or so as he watched you latch your soft lips onto his throbbing hardness. You moaned, overcome with the sensation of having him in your mouth and the taste of his excitement.

"Then don't. Cum in my mouth. I am curious about what it tastes like” you said quite honestly after lifting your lips from his cock and looking up at him through hooded lids that only served to stoke the fire of his desire to even higher levels.

"No. I don’t want to cum. Not yet" Robert groaned nonetheless before he gently pulled you from his cock before pushing you back onto your back playfully. "The first time I cum tonight will be inside of you" he then grimaced and a rush of adrenaline shot through you as he moved between your thighs.

“If this is still what you want…” Robert then ought to confirm and you nodded eagerly.

“Yes. It is what I want Robert. I want to feel you inside of me” you told him just as you felt the heat coming off his body when he nudged himself against the moist outer lips of your pussy. You spread your legs, and he rubbed the head of his cock over your slickness. He hesitated for a second before, eventually, leaning forward and supporting himself with his arms.

He then pressed ahead, pushing himself into you slowly and carefully while looking for cues of any discomfort on your face. His attention was focused on the warm, wet feeling of your lips surrounding his cock. They opened slowly to him, and he slowly pushed himself into the velvety depths of you with a pleasurable groan. He hadn't been sure if he had been expecting the barrier of a hymen, given the fact that you admitted that you masturbated, but there was only a small amount of resistance to overcome as he continued to push into you with slow, gentle thrusts.

“Robert! Fuck!” you moaned eventually while digging your nails into his arms and shoulders. Your voice was tremulous and shaky as he filled you and stretched you beyond what you had known.

Hearing your tremulous moan, Robert thrust forward sharply now and groaned as he slid all the way up inside you. You winced and bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from crying out. Your breathing was fast and shallow as your channel opened and stretched to take all of him. Despite the soreness and feeling of being overfull, it was a wondrous moment for you, finally knowing what it felt like to have a man buried inside you.

"You are so incredibly tight” Robert gasped at the snugness of you, barely holding onto his self-control. Now that he was in deeper, surrounded by your wetness, he was careful not to move, to let your get used to the feel of him inside you. It almost killed him not to plunge repeatedly into your pussy. His cock felt harder than it ever had and your cries of pleasure, knowing no one had ever made your feel like this, made him feel more virile, more potent than he ever had.

"You don't have to hold back Robert" you breathed into his neck as you clung to him. You wrapped your legs around his hips and raked your nails down his back as he sunk deeper into you. The eyes looking down at you were tinged with concern and fire, but you wanted his desire, his passion, to feel beautiful in his arms. You wanted him to make love to you, but you also wanted him to fuck you. You wanted to experience everything you had heard others talk about over so many years, all at once, even though you knew it was unfair to expect so much from this one man alone.

He moved his hips slowly, sliding his cock back and forth inside you, letting your get used to the rhythm. You moved with him, intuitively pushing your pelvis upwards as he slid into you. Each time he buried himself inside of you, your clit was trapped against the upper side of his shaft. You moaned loudly at the exquisite sensations and ground your mound up against him even harder, pumping back faster, until the sounds of your bodies slapping against each other and the squelching sound of their passionate fucking sent a wave of need and pure lust through him.

"Oh god. Keep going" you gasped, licking his neck and biting at his shoulders. "Don't hold back. Please, I need you to take me” you gasped again, unbelieving that you had said the words that chased around your brain out loud. You felt confident now. You felt safe. And you most certainly felt incredible.

Your words caused the blood to rush through Robert’s veins. He stared into your desire-filled gaze but, when his eyes locked with yours, a deeper connection hit him with more force than he had ever known with another woman before.

"Y/N. Oh god. I want you so fucking much” Robert groaned and since he didn’t usually swear or use the name of the holy lord, his very own words surprised him. Your name tore from his lips as he plundered your body, changing positions twice, before finding himself atop of you again.

His tongue drove into your mouth, sweeping inside, tasting, commanding, and taking what he needed. He could no longer restrain himself and he let himself go, fucking you the way he had wanted to ever since you had appeared in his life. With a growl of pure lust, he pumped his hips, plunging into you over and over. He could not get deep enough.

"Oh god, Robert. Take me” you moaned over and over again as he drove into you. Your body arched and undulated under his fevered lovemaking. The muscles of your channel clenched and spasmed around his length as a great bubble of pleasure rose up from your toes, engulfed you and burst into shards of explosive release that had you shuddering and sobbing.

"Let go for me Y/N” Robert groaned while he pinched your nipples, and you cried out again.

Your face and torso were flushed, your breath raspy, as you writhed beneath him and clawed at him while your body peaked again. You then cried out once more, and he lost it. A roar exploded from him as his body crested and he toppled over the edge. His length throbbed and pulsed, spilling his anguish and a steady stream of cum into you. He collapsed on you gasping, trying to regain his breath.

"Don't move, please" you said, your face still flushed with your excitement. You stroked his hair lovingly. "I like the way you feel inside me” you said while enjoying the little ebbing ripples from your tight walls against his cock. He smiled and kissed your lips softly and you continued this for a while until, eventually, he pulled out of you which caused some of your combined juices to leak from your slit and on to the sheets.

“So how did I do, Robert? Just fine?” you then asked just as Robert rolled to his side, facing you and caressing your face while you thought about this incredible explosive feeling he made you experience just moments ago.

“I actually cannot recall the last time I had sex that good” he gasped. His breath was still laboured as he looked at you and smiled.

“I am sure you say this to everyone” you joked after pressing a quick kiss on to Robert’s lips and before sitting up straight when, suddenly, it hit you and you came up with an idea.

“No, actually, I don’t” Robert said as he watched you get out of bed abruptly. “What are you doing?” he thus asked while you tippy toed across the room before standing right in front of the chalkboard in order to ask him a question.

“Have you figured how to get your hands on enough uranium yet? Because, going by my estimates, I believe that the US will never be able to secure enough for more than one bomb unless they work with their allies?” you then said somewhat suddenly, causing Robert to sit up as well and furrow his eyebrows.

“You know I cannot talk about this Y//N” he told you as you picked up the chalk and began to write down a formula.

“Alright, you don’t have to tell me anything. I do the talking and you take away what you want from it” you said as, still in your naked form, you wrote down a few calculations from your head.

“Y/N, your calculations don’t make sense…” Robert interrupted you until he realised that you were talking about two entirely different substances now.

“We aren’t talking about uranium anymore, are we?” he thus ought to clarify, causing you to chuckle.

“Well, you aren’t talking at all Robert. You can’t tell me anything, remember?” you teased before telling him that it was plutonium which you based your calculations on rather than uranium.

“Plutonium is too fragile” Robert pointed out which is when you dropped the chalk back on to the ledge of the board and shrugged your shoulders.

“Yes it is fragile, but it is powerful and you can extract more” you pointed out while, elegantly, crawling back into bed.

“It’s impractical nonetheless. It will be much more difficult to build a bomb using plutonium” Robert said while sill glancing at your calculations.

“Probably, which is why you need a bunch of people as smart as you are to figure out a way to make it work” you told him, causing Robert to pull you atop of him and kiss you again.

“There is something incredibly sexy about watching you calculate a reaction, completely naked, while talking to me about atoms” he then determined, earning him yet another quiet chuckle.

“If you say so” you teased while giving in to his many kisses and caresses.

“How do you feel about moving to the dessert with me?” Robert then wanted to know, causing you to pull away from him.

“You want me to come on to the project with you?” you asked somewhat surprised seeing that you were not even a postgrad student yet which, in your mind, made you unqualified.

“Yes. In fact, I think I need you” Robert told you nonetheless and with a great sense of determination, causing you to shake your head.

“You don’t need me Robert” you chuckled, seeing that he probably already had a group of well-known scientists on board, none of whom you could compete with.  

“But I do need you and it would just be you and me, working together during the day and then doing this at night” Robert responded to your statement while gently running his hands over your bare skin again in a suggestive kind of manner.

“Just you and me, huh?” you moaned before pushing Robert’s hand out of the way. “What about your wife?” you wanted to know, seeing that, no doubt, she would be there too.

“She has no desire to live in the middle of nowhere for a year or two, because this is how long it will take to make this bomb. She is not coming” Robert informed you while caressing your skin again, teasing you and making you ache with need and desire for him.

“Robert…” you gasped before his lips silenced you gently, kissing you passionately.

“Just think about it” he then told you after your lips drifted apart, causing you to nod.

“I will think about it and, maybe, there is a way you could make this proposal a little more appealing to me” you suggested just before you pushed Robert beneath you and assumed authority over him.

“How?” he asked while feeling your hand gently wrap around his hardening shaft.

“Well, for starters, you could fuck me again” you teased while stroking him.

“Right now?” Robert groaned while, again, you lined the head of his hard member up with your entrance, causing you to nod.

“Yes, right fucking now” you determined before sinking down on his cock, engulfing him completely, which was something you continued for a quite some time.

In fact, you made love for what felt like hours, up until one or two o’clock at night, following which Robert stayed with you, sharing a bed just like any other ordinary couple would until, suddenly, at 6 o’clock in the morning, you were startled by the arrival of someone unexpected, barging into your room.

To be continued…

Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!

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[anotherdragon]

you know, I was thinking earlier.

At first I was thinking about how desensitized the residents of Hatchetfield are to death and dissapearances. Grace said it herself: "This is Hatchetfield. People Go missing every day!" And you see it, too: how Max going missing and Richies death almost seems like an afterthought; and its played off as a joke, as 'oh haha look they care more about some football game than a kid going missing' but it really gets sadder if you think about it? Like imagine knowing that any day you or a family member or one of your closest friends could go missing at any time, and just needing to...except that. And it would explain Pete's admittedly little to no reaction to Richie and Ruth's deaths, while he still might be upset over it, he came to terms with that possibility years ago. everyone did. always at the back of each residents mind, that today it was a stranger, a name you wouldn't even remember an hour from now, but tomorow? It could be you. It could be someone you love.

And then i got thinking a bit more: we see a lot of shit like this throughout Hatchetfield (while its probably for the sake of keeping the episodes seperate, im pretty sure nmt2 all takes place in the same timeline, and like. Thirty people are mentioned to have died in Killer Track??? The honey queens go missing every year[well, leave town the day they went missing and never contact anyone in hatchetfield ever again but you have to admit thats suspicious] People just. going missing at Abstinence Camp and no one looking into it???) but all that aside. What I cant wrap my head around is 'Hatchet Town'. the entire song is about the citizens of hatchetfield getting paranoid and pointing fingers and in general getting aggressive over the murder of two teens. But??? 'By Best Of You' everyones just. stopped caring. Shapiro can be explained away a bit by her seeing Max, but with the killing of three teenagers, the mayors secretary and the 'disappearance' of the mayor any normal school would probably. Cancel homecoming. (I could probably also go into a whole thing about how the specific way richie was killed and the MESSAGE WRITTEN IN HIS BLOOD point towards the killer being a student. which you would really think would lead to the canceling of an event like this). And they just??? Decide to still hold the event??? (which is even funnier knowing that ANOTHER STUDENT GETS KILLED AT HOMECOMING)

So uh. Not even sure what the point of this post is anymore. I refuted my own post and then refuted that. Now im just confused. What The Fuck Is Going On In Hatchetfield. Why did all the residents of hatchetfield fucking swing to the other extreme for three minutes and fourty seconds. huh.

[pamsimmer]

When I made "Lunar" someone asked for a legacy challenge for human sims. So I finally wrote one!

Since some people don't like big legacies because it takes forever to finish, I made another small legacy! Only 5 gens.

If you know my stories from twitter or my "pamsimmerstories" you know I usually use a lot of adult themes and this is not different, so be aware this can be a little dark.

TW: Spouse death, while giving birth; Drug Use, alcohol and other drugs; Child Abuse, Neglect; Infetility

LEGACY CHALLENGE: "Dream Odyssey"

Basic Rules:

Start as a Young Adult - any gender you want

Normal/Long lifespan (which one you prefer)

You can use freerealestate cheat if you want to begin.

When I put ( / ) is because you can choose what you prefer or if you don’t have said pack you can choose the base game one.

Colors are not mandatory, but it could be fun?!

Requirements: Cottage Living, University, City Living, Nifty Knitting, Horse Ranch, Get Famous, Get Together, Snowy Scape, Island Living, Seasons, Parenthood.

Mods recommendations (Not required):

McCommand Center,

UI Cheats,

Long Distance Learning,

RPO.

Basemantal Drugs

Generation 1: “Dandelions” by Ruth B.

You moved from your parents to live in a big city and go to your dream college (San Myshuno Institute)*. You’ve always wanted to be a doctor/veterinarian and this was finally happening!

One day you met the love of your life in between classes (preferably someone you met that is also at uni) you get married, but one day you caught them cheating and you feel like this is the end of the world.

So you leave everything and go to Henford on Bagley and become a farmer. You meet someone that makes you open up again and you two have a beautiful family.

*if you don’t want to use mods like the ”Long Distance Learning” by Ravasheen, you can just pretend you’re going there living in San Myshuno

Traits: Good, Animal Enthusiast/Loves the Outdoors, The last one you pick, to make things interesting, pick a bad trait like high maintenance

Career: Start as University Student in San Myshuno (you can finish it and start the career or you can just drop university in the middle of your term); End up as a farmer in Henford

Skills: Logic/Vetenerian and Cross-Stitch

Hobby: Cross-Stitch or Knitting

Aspiration: Country Caretaker

Relationship: fall in love at university, get cheated on, runaway to Henford and meet someone new. You can have children with the first one if you want to or you can wait until you meet the second sim. It’s up to you.

Color: Green/Yellow

Generation 2: “High” by Miley Cyrus

You grew up in the middle of a bunch of animals, your parent was a nature freak and you became one as well. But your kind of animal is a bit different from your parent. You love horses and you dream in live at Chestnut Ridge and have your own horse and participate in competitions and earn money from it.

You find love, but when your wife is giving birth to your baby, she dies (your sim could be a woman and you use cheats to make her pregnant and if you don’t use mods as RPO/Pandasama you can also cheat to kill the sim).

[The Sims 4 killing cheats: [death.toggle true - kill your Sim] I've never used it, so I don't know if it really works]

So you see yourself as a single parent juggling between parenting and taking care of your horse and participating of competitions.

Traits: Horse Lover, Rancher, the last trait you choose.

Career: Autonomous as Horse Competitor, you can try odd jobs as well

Skills: Riding, Painting/Nectar Making

Hobby: Painting/Nectar Making

Aspiration: Championship Rider

Relationship: Meet someone, become a widow/er. You can find love again if you wish.

Color: Orange

Generation 3: “No Love In LA” by Palaye Royale

When you were born your mother died and you never met her. Your other parent was always busy with his horses and competitions that you now hate Chestnut.

You want more for your life. As soon as you age up, you go to Del Sol Valley and you’re finally able to follow your dream of becoming a star! You want to be a famous actor/actress. But not everything is like you thought it would be, you thought you would become a 5 star celebrity quickier than you did. But you never give up.

Find a celebrity and get married to them just for fame (I guess you’re gonna need cheats for them to meet).

[Modify Relationship

You'll need the full name of your Sim and the celebrity Sim (or vice versa). If it doesn't work, try " LTR_Friendship_Main" at the end.] (I also never tested this one...but in case you don't have mods, try this)

One day you’re gonna meet someone who’s a nobody and fall in love, you’re gonna cheat on your partner and get pregnant/get someone pregnant.

You have two choices:

leave your spouse and be with your love or

stay in a unhappy marriage and pretend the cheating never happened (if your sim is a male, never talk to the pregnant sim again and one day a child shows up at your door, this is gonna be the heir. And if your sims is a female, pretend the kid is your husband’s child. It doesn’t matter, you’re gonna fail as a parent no matter what).

Traits: Self-Assured, Ambitious, and a bad trait of your choosing

Career: Actor

Skills: Acting, Dancing, Photography

Hobby: Photography and also dancing, go to nightclubs often, drink a lot (if you don’t play with mods pretend your sims is an alcoholic, if you play with mods like basemental your sim is definitely an alcoholic and maybe had a drug addiction, let’s go dark here)

Aspiration: Master Actor

Relationship: Marry for fame and cheat on your partner and get pregnant of impregnate someone this is how your heir is gonna be made.

Color: Red

Generation 4: “Flares” by The Script

Your parent should never be a parent.

You grew up in a spolight because of your parent, but you hate it. Everything is so fucked up and you just want to run away as far as possible.

When you become a teen, you're going to run away from home and go to Mt Komorebi, drop from school and work in a part time job.

To scape your own mind you start a few hobbies such as snowboarding/skiing/climbing.

When you’re young adult you meet someone while doing one of those things and you two fall in love. You two start a family and are very happy.

Traits: Adventurous, Loner, and a trait of your preference

Career: Teen: Part Time Job; Young Adult: Salaryperson

Skills: Two of these: (You can choose: Snowboarding/Skiing/Climbing)

Hobby: Choose two from 3 (Snowboarding/Skiing/Climbing)

Aspiration: Extreme Sports Enthusiast

Relationship: Find love when your sim is a young adult and this sim is gonna be actually happy :)

Color: Grey

Generation 5: “Light” by Sleeping At Last

Your parents were loving and you loved Mt Komorebi, but you feel like you need to run away from the cold mountains of Mt Komorebi.

When you grow up you want to live in a summery place, so you choose Sulani.

You fall in love more than once, but your relationships never work. You’re also infertile, but you want a kid so baaaad, so you decide to adopt one after years of trying.

You're going to raise a kid alone, maybe get yourself a dog as well? You want to be the best parent someone could be.

Traits: Family Oriented, Child of the Ocean, and a third trait of your choosing

Career: Any of the freelancer careers

Skills: Parenting, Flower Arrenging/Singing

Hobby: Flower Arrenging/Singing

Aspiration: Superparent

Relationship: All your relationships will fail, no matter how hard you try. One day you finally realize it and just accept that you’re going to be alone and you can be happy like this. Then you adopt a child (could be a baby if you want to) and maybe a pet as well.

Color: Blue

[storiesfromafan]

Dandelion

A/N: Back with Part 2! If you haven’t read Traitor, please do :) Hope this one lives up to what I wish it too. Haha. There will be a Part 3, just not sure when it will be up. As I haven’t started writing it yet. Been in a bit of a writers burnout.

Feel free to comment/message me with idea’s or anything.

Pairing: Mattheo x Fem!Reader Ravenclaw

Out of all the season’s Spring had always been your favourite, Mattheo recalled as he found himself out in a small field of wildflowers, that was a reasonable distance from the castle. It was a spot you both had spent every free moment at in Spring together. But now he was here alone, no you by his side. And it was his own responsibility you weren’t, for he ended it with you over four months ago. He had done it for the right reason, saving you from his father. From getting hurt because of him. Saving you from his darkness. Yet he missed the light you brought to his life. He missed who he was with you.

Brushing his fingers over various wildflowers that surrounded him, Mattheo recalled their individual names. Such as oxeye daisy, lesser celandine, cow parsley, dandelion. The last one being a mix of yellow flowers and the seed heads, most commonly picked and blown, its white sprouts flying off into the sky. A past time you enjoyed, claiming to make a wish with everyone. Nearly everything in his everyday routine and life reminded him of you.

When someone would say his name. Mattheo recalled how you would say his name; be it when you were happy, sad, angry, scared, breathless, sleepy, laughing. Or when he flirted with Anna. He remembered the first time he flirted with you, you had either been oblivious to it or playing hard to get. Because he knew you liked him, as he liked you too. You’d been a bit of a challenge, but in the end you both won when you got together. He hadn’t known anyone like you, still didn’t. He knew there would never be another you. He was glad about that. There was no one like his Y/N…or rather was his Y/N, he had to remind himself of that a lot.

Maybe, it's the way you say my name

Maybe, it's the way you play your game

But it's so good, I've never known anybody like you

But it's so good, I've never dreamed of nobody like you

You had come into his life during a hard time. His father and the Death Eater’s had been plotting and planning their next move and possible future moves. His father had been continuously hard on him, and only getting worse. The expectations he had to live up to were great, greater than anyone his age. But then there was you.

And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime

And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine

Meeting you at a Ministry party that he attended with Lucius and Draco. Your father putting the three of you together. You all knew each other, or rather knew of each other, rarely your path’s crossed. There were a few classes together, but Mattheo had never talked to you. But he was glad he had been placed with you, for talking to you was a breath of fresh air. You treated him and Draco like any other student. You tried to make conversation, and he tried to return it, which you were grateful for. And from there it only became more. Once back at school he seeked you out, making time to chat with you. Talking turned to flirting, and flirting led to dating. Then you became his Ravenclaw beauty, then Ravenclaw Princess after you helped him through so many spiraling moments because his father.

Mattheo picked one of the dandelions with the fuzzy white seed heads, bringing it up and examining it. He never saw the fascination you had in the weed. It didn’t hold any real beauty like a rose, but it had a unique quality.

'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions

Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine

He recalled the first time you’d both came to this spot. You had named the wildflowers before laying down on the grass, the wildflowers surrounding you. He thought you look breathtakingly beautiful; you were made for wildflowers. From how your soft locks sprawled out around you, to the content smile that graced your tempting lips.

Then there were your eyes. Your bright E/C orbs staring up at him, a warmth and admiration shining in your eyes as you looked at him. It brought a soft smile to his lips, as you returned his smile. In that moment Mattheo felt comfortable, at ease from how your warmth brought him happiness.

And I see forever in your eyes

I feel okay when I see you smile, smile

Mattheo slowly twirled the dandelion between his fingers, as the memories crossing his mind of you reminded him of what he missed. Silently praying he had kept you by his side. Anger slowly began to build, anger at himself for hurting you. But he slowly let it go, reminding himself over and over it was to save you.

Wishing on dandelions all of the time

Praying to God that one day you'll be mine

Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time

I think that you are the one for me

You. The brightness in that darkness of his life. The tether that kept him grounded. The one who showed him compassion and love, knowingly or unknowingly. You were everything to him. You were the one for him...but he couldn’t allow that.

The memory of the Yule Ball came to Mattheo’s mind. The first time he’d seen you dressed like the Princess you were. The dress you’d had chosen to wear was the perfect shade of F/C, fitted your frame perfectly with a skirt that flowed to the floor like water. The neckline was tasteful and the straps just thick enough and perfectly adjusted against your skin. Your neck and shoulders were on display, as your hair was up.

'Cause it gets so hard to breathe

When you're looking at me, I've never felt so alive and free

When you're looking at me, I've never felt so happy

Mattheo, watching you walk towards him, left him speechless. And with some tempting thoughts. Upon coming to stand before the Slytherin male, the bright smile you gave him caused his heart to skip a beat. This beauty before him had chosen him. You took his arm, while greeting him. The happiness and pride Mattheo felt as he led you into The Great Hall, eyes looking at you both, had him standing taller and confident.

That night you had both danced the night away; be it a formal dance or when the Weird Sisters took over the stage, and you both just let go. Mattheo was able to let go, a night to be free. You were just as free. Laughing, dancing and showing Mattheo attention. From dancing together, holding hands or little kisses. He had wished that moment could have been forever.

And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime

And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine

'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions

Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine

Being the gentleman that he was, and wanting every possible moment with you, Mattheo had walked you back to the Ravenclaw house door. During the walk you had both tried to take as long as possible. First taking a long route to the door, walking slowly, taking moments to appreciate paintings or sculptures on the walk. Anything and everything to make this moment together last.

And I see forever in your eyes

I feel okay, when I see you smile, smile

Eventually you made it to your destination. You both looked at each other, neither wanting to unlock your hands from the other. Mattheo brought his hand up to brush some of your framing hair behind your ear, before cupping your cheek with that hand.

“You look so beautiful tonight” he said softly, eyes locked with your own.

“Yes...you already told me that” you replied just as softly, scared if you were any louder it would break the moment.

Mattheo smiled. “I know, but you deserve to be told every minute of every day how beautiful you are”.

Those words of his made your breath hitch, before shakily exhaling. These were the moments you treasured. The reassurance of Mattheo’s feelings. He might not speak of his feelings for you, but words like this, with the looks he gave you, spoke louder than anything.

Moving closer, Mattheo finally dipped his head down and captured your lips with his. The peck was soft, testing the waters. Pulling back, he looked to your eyes, and seeing the joy and restlessness in them, he went in again. This time he was firmer, tongue coming out to run along your bottom lip for permission. You didn’t waste time, opening your mouth to him. Mattheo took the lead, his tongue dancing with your own, in a breathtaking kiss. You both could feel how the other felt.

Pulling back when air was needed, you both watched the other with a blissful smile on your faces. Mattheo continued to caress your cheek as you watched each other. But time was fleeting, and you both had to part ways. With one final peck to your lips, Mattheo stepped back, his hand leaving your cheek.

“Goodnight Princess” he said softly. “Till the morning”.

You nodded your head, “goodnight, Theo”.

Reluctantly you turned from him and stepped up to the Ravenclaw door. Briefly you stopped and looked over your shoulder at him. He gave you a cheeky smile and a final goodnight, and you then passed through the door. It closed with a small noise. And Mattheo was left alone, but he felt on top of the world.

Tossing the dandelion from his hands, Mattheo scrunched up his face at the weed. How silly it was the believe making a wish on the weed would come true. It was childish. Yet you did it. You believed in it. You had confided in him that once you’d made a wish on the weed, asking to do well in Snape's class once, for the potion you’d be making was tricky. And you had managed to not ruin it. So, it became almost a ritual of yours, making wishes on weeds.

Wishing on dandelions all of the time

Praying to God that one day you'll be mine

Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time

Looking at the dandelions around him, Mattheo contemplated taking a page from your book. But then the rational side of him told him too not be stupid. So, he turned from the weed and back to the school in the distance. But the curiosity of making a wish crept up, and with a sigh Mattheo picked another dandelion.

He glared at the weed, silently telling it to work. Drawing in a breath, he blew the white fuzzy seeds from the weed, and thinking ‘I wish my father doesn’t hurt her...’

Dandelion, into the wind you go

Won't you let my darling know?

Dandelion, into the wind you go

Won't you let my darling know that?

Mattheo put everything into that wish. He didn’t want anything to happen to you. He wanted to keep you safe, from his father...and from him. With what was to come, he would wish on every weed on the grounds if he had too. If anything happened to you, Mattheo wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

I'm in a field of dandelions

Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine

Picking another dandelion, he intended to make the same wish, hoping to make it come true. But before he blew the fuzzy white seeds, you came to mind clearly. And as he released his breath, freeing the seeds, he found himself wishing to see you right then.

He watched the seeds float up in the sky, dancing from the breeze before floating off back towards the castle. For a moment he watched them float before disappearing, and an approaching form came into his line of vision. As they got closer, Mattheo’s breath caught in his throat, as he saw who it was. You. If his wish had been answered so soon, would his first wish come true too?

When you drew closer you finally realized your spot had been taken. For sitting there among the wildflowers was the last person you wanted to see; Mattheo. The look that crossed your face was sour, which Mattheo saw. You went to turn around and head back to the castle before he got up quickly, calling your name.

“Y/N! Wait” Mattheo called standing a meter behind you.

You looked over your shoulder, “what?” You spat.

Mattheo sighed. “You...you can have the spot” he said softly, looking down at the ground. “I was going to leave anyways”.

He walked around you slowly, and once he was five steps from you, Mattheo stopped before turning back to you. You had been watching him the whole time, studying him closely. You noted the sullen look upon his face, how his eyes lack any shine and how he seemed to have no fight. He was a shell of himself, like you had seen time and time before.

“Are you alright?” You found yourself asking, not thinking. For he was meant to be the bad guy.

Your question caused his heart to ache. Even after all he had done you still asked if he was alright. You may not entirely care, but still took time to ask him. Sighing Mattheo looked away from you. Unsure how to answer you. He didn’t want to lie, nor did he want to upset you. Damned if he do, damned if he didn’t.

“I’m...okay” he breathed, trying to convince himself. “Things have been...hard lately, with home”.

You nodded. “Understandable” you said softly, watching his every movement. Not fully believing his words. For there was truth but also a bit of skirting around it.

Silence took over after that, the spring breeze picking up in that moment. You watched as the breeze tossed Mattheo’s curls around. How you had missed combing your hands through those curls. It was something Mattheo had enjoyed; it soothed his mind and relaxed him. The temptation to do it now growing strong, for the boy before you were in turmoil. You shook your head at the thought of being close to the one who broke your heart.

You had thought it was the breeze playing tricks, but seeing his moving lips showed it was Mattheo who spoke. “I’m sorry” was what he said softly, almost missed by your ears.

At first you were shocked by his apology, followed by a small warm feeling in your chest. Before it died and a slow burn of anger began to take hold of you. How could his words make up for everything? How could he so bluntly say sorry.

“Excuse me?” You questioned, tone a little sharp.

Mattheo looked to you, and seeing your reaction to his words, he was shocked. He had hoped it would have helped. “I’m sorry” he repeated turning to face you. “I didn’t mean to hurt you like I did”.

You blinked a few times, blood slowly coming to a boil. “How can you just say that?” You questioned a little loudly. “How does apologizing make up for what I’ve been through?”

Valid questions Mattheo noted. “It doesn’t. But I want you to know that I am sorry-”

You scoffed. “Yeah right. The Mattheo Riddle I know would never say sorry. He might show it, but never openly apologize”.

He frowned. “That is true, but I wanted to put it into words. I at least owe you that”.

“You owe me nothing! Nor do I want it!” you yelled, hands clenching. “You hurt me. Simple as that. And for that I don’t want your apology. So, keep it”.

Mattheo nodded his head. “I deserve that”. His face fell, eyes looking at the ground. He looked so weak.

You took a step back. Taking in his demeanor. You could see cracks of how effected Mattheo was. You wondered how long before it would shatter. The want to hold him, run your fingers through his curls while telling him that he was alright, was strong. And though you didn’t want to, you decided to say the next words.

And I see forever in your eyes

I feel okay when I see you smile, smile

“It’s alright” you sighed. “I don’t entirely forgive you, but I half accept it” you said watching his face.

Hearing your words, Mattheo’s eyes snapped to you. His dull brown eyes, now shinning with confusion, looked right into your E/C orbs. He could see how unsure you were in their reflection. But with it was a small familiar look; admiration. After all he’d done, you still admired him. Part of you wanted him to apologize but majority of you wanted to punch his pretty face.

“You do?” He choked out. “Why?”

Your face softened, thinking over his words. “I won’t lie. I was hurt. I was angry” you looked him dead in the eyes. “But what has it gotten me? Where has it gotten me? It has left me bitter, and it’s gotten me no where”.

He nodded his head slowly.

“So, I’d rather accept some of it than nothing. Because I look back at our time together and I know I was happy” you said fondly, memories coming to mind. “You made me happy Theo. And I would love to see you in as much agony as me, but part of me still hates to see it”.

“Just part?” Mattheo said with a small smirk, trying to lighten the moment. Which you softly smile at.

There might be so much, good and bad between you both, but some familiarity was there. As well as some closure. He said sorry, and you believed me meant it. You had half accepted his apology, which lightened Mattheo’s worries.

You both continued to stare at the other. Unsure what to say, or what to do. But you were the one to break eye contact when you turned, planning to take the spot Mattheo had been occupying. He looked at you, mind thinking so many things. But the one thought screaming to him was your safety. He had to make sure you were safe.

Wishing on dandelions all of the time

Praying to God that one day you'll be mine

Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time

“Would it be strange if I asked you to stay away from Hogwarts next year...to not come back?” Mattheo was unsure but voice a little panicky.

You turned back to him, confusion on your face. “Huh? What are getting at?”

Mattheo moved from foot to foot. “Next year, don’t come back to Hogwarts. I can’t say anything...but I need you to be safe”.

You studied the Slytherin, unsure if he was pulling your leg. But his eyes told you he was serious. “Answer me this; will you be safe here next year?”

He shook his head. “Probably not”.

You gave a short nod. “Then I can’t promise you anything. I will be here next year, no matter what”.

Mattheo’s heart ached at your words. Not what he had hopped. But you were honest. And he didn’t give you a reason why not to return to school. He just hopped you wouldn’t be in the cross fire of what’s to come.

With that, you took your spot amongst the wildflowers while Mattheo took a moment watching you. He was taking in the sight before him, putting it to memory. With it all said and done, Mattheo turned from you and started to head back to the castle.

He wasn’t sure what was to exactly come. But he would make sure, as best to his abilities, that you would be safe from it all. Mattheo needed you to be safe, for no harm to come to you. Be it his father or him, you would be safe.

Tags: @iheqrtaustin @ash-whimsicalfanfic

I'm in a field of dandelions

Wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine

[uispeccoll]

#VoicesFromTheStacks

Los Bailadores Zapatistas and the Latino Native American Cultural Center

Last week, the Latino-Native American Alumni Alliance (LANA3) gathered on campus to celebrate more than 50 years of the Latino Native American Cultural Center (LNACC) at the University of Iowa.

In 1971, three students—Rusty Barceló, Ruth Pushetonequa, and Tony Zavala—founded the the Chicano Indian American Cultural Center, later renamed the Latino Native American Cultural Center (LNACC). In it’s five-decade history LNACC has hosted events like cookouts, powwows, and dances; published literary magazines and newsletters; held rallies, boycotts, and protests; and sponsored a variety of other educational and social programs.  

The Libraries’ Special Collections and Archives recently acquired new materials from LNACC, including these beautiful dresses handmade by students in Los Bailadores Zapatistas, a baile folklórico troupe on campus. Baile folklórico encompasses many different types of traditional folk dance stemming from various regions of Mexico and cultural traditions, often with Indigenous and Spanish influences.

Los Bailadores Zapatista’s was formed at University of Iowa in the mid-1970s and aimed to “increase the education level and understanding of mestizo dancing and music, and to share our mestizo culture with the university and community population.” Los Bailadores performed on campus and throughout Iowa and the Midwest, often accompanied by the singing group El Conjunto Chicano. They visited other campuses and performed at community events and festivals. In 1978 they attended the National Ballet Folklórico festival in Kansas, and six students traveled to Mexico that summer to learn traditional dances.

Celina Espinoza, the groups instructor, taught the other members how to sew costumes, which are representative of traditional dance attire worn in different regions of Mexico. The group performed dances from the states of Jalisco and Veracruz, as well as from northern regions of Mexico and what is now the Southwestern United States.

Los Bailadores Zapatistas was just one of several student organizations affiliated with LNACC that brought Chicano art, music, and culture to audiences on the University of Iowa campus and beyond. To learn more about Los Bailadores and the Latino Native American Cultural Center, visit us in person or online at the Iowa Digital Library, check out our past blog posts on LNACC, and see the full finding aid to this collection here.

--Anne M, Olson Graduate Research Assistant

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

The Miette pronunciation post remind me of a repeat situation I've had to deal with my entire life: assholes refusing to pronounce my name correctly.

I had a teacher who decided that my first name being a French name meant my last name is as well. They would pronounce my last name as though it's French, and would threaten detention anytime I refused to respond. Took my parents having a hard talk either them about this to correct her about it.

As often as not, I have to deal with assholes pronouncing my name like it's spelled, so now it has a long E (like in we) rather than sounding like a long A (like in yay). These people get angry when I correct them.

One uni instructor I had didn't like my name, so she called me Wren. She threatened to fail me if i kept refusing to reply to her or kept correcting her. I had to speak to a school official to correct her behavior. Apparently, she did this with any name that ends on a long A.

If you have a difficult time pronouncing someone's name, ask then to repeat it until you do get it right. I had a Chinese flatmate whose name was pronounced Roo-hway. I can't remember the spelling, but she said if I can't pronounce her name Ruth is acceptable. She was shocked when I practiced a couple times and got it right. My Japanese flatmate (I lived with several international students) introduced herself as Kiki, which us an easy name to pronounce, but stated my name is impossible to pronounce because of the R, and refused to learn it. She brought over several Japanese classmates for a study group once and I introduced myself. She said, again, that none of them could say my name...until one of them said she's full of shit and proceeded to pronounce my name correctly...along with the test of the other eight or nine classmates. She never brought them over again (I later learned she's just a spoiled brat), likely due to being called out in her bullshit.

So, anyway, names aren't that difficult. Some sounds I cannot say, like the inverted K for tl, so I just use a K sound instead. Some sounds are unique to specific languages, making them an impossible challenge for some. Still, do try, and stop being pissy about it.

[zeromorph]

today's final kind of walloped me but it could have been worse and I only needed to pass it to be okay for the class so that should be alright

finished my last couple assignments yesterday and today so it's just Wednesday's final

which is terrifying because it's a third of the pharmacology grade and about nine million drugs

but also holy shit? I'm almost done? except for the summer internship and certification exam, which are nothing to sneeze at, but as far as being in class, I’m almost done. feels weird. I am rapidly metronoming between relief and alarm.

I am so behind on everything that isn’t schoolwork. if I owe you a message it’s not you it’s all my brain cells being fried

one of my friends posted this photo of me (under the cut) with one of the chickens from the other day and another friend said “why are you looking at that chicken like it’s your firstborn child” and honestly he’s not wrong

I just! love birds!

[cinderellaenjoyer]

The Merger AU

In which the LIB tried to posses some Hatchetfield High Students to use as vessels, but accidentley somehow ended up 'merging' with them.

Now, those who were merged have a mix of their regular personalities and the Lords In Blacks!

Richie - Wiggly

Jason - Pokey

Ruth - Blinky

Kyle - Tinky

Reese (If she and PJ have 1 fan it's me) - Nibbly

[myheadphonesareneverloudenough]

Nerdy Prudes Must Die; musical motifs

i have so many thoughts about Nerdy Prudes Must Die and specifically the musical motifs used throughout. so buckle up, i want to talk. (theres a whole breakdown under the cut.)

so, if you didn't know already, Jeff Blim is a musical genius. and in the Hatchetfield universe, theres so many musical motifs that get used in every show. but there's one in particular that i don't know what to call it, but i'm gonna say it's 'the nerds' theme'. it's this one right here;

i've heard some call it Pete's theme, which is wrong. this specific melody is the theme of Pete, Richie, and Ruth's self worth and their inescapable tragedies. when we meet the three friends, it's very obvious that they see themselves at the bottom of the high school food chain. the nerds have accepted that they are worthless and will amount to nothing in school, because that is where society has placed them. it's as simple as Pete's song Cool As I Think I Am. he very literally does not see himself as valuable as the other students. but when that idea shifts from Cool As I Think I Am to Cool As She Thinks I Am, suddenly we have Pete realising his self worth, and the motif shows up;

and right after that, Pete is beat up in a parking lot by Max Jägerman. Pete's own self worth can only go so far when you have people like Max denying it constantly.

so now there's lyrics to this motif, and yes, Pete is the first one to sing it. But that doesn't make it any less Ruth and Richie's.

just like Pete, Richie finds his self worth in the acceptance from others. Once Max is gone and Richie makes friends with the football team, he realises how great it is to be alive. he realises that he deserves to be alive.

when Max comes to kill him, Richie justifies his self worth with the motif that returns for him this time, not Pete;

now they're not his final words, but Richie dies after declaring, "I'm Not A Loser". when he finally gets some self worth, he is murdered and never gets to fulfil that worth.

Ruth's self worth is a little different. she views her worthlessness as unfair. she believes that if she was different, she could be something great. unlike Pete and Richie, Ruth really shows that she has bigger dreams. Ruth wants to be the star of the show. she wishes to be appreciated, and her ungodly horniess can honestly be seen as a metaphor for wanting to be loved. Ruth sings about her self worth in the most Ruth way, with her own number in the BBQ Monologues.

the climax of the song (which Lauren kills, btw) the motif comes back again in the background. This time, it's for Ruth and her self worth;

does the fact that Ruth's version of the motif doesn't include the 'im not a loser' lyrics have to do with Ruth having more belief in herself? that she doesn't need to explain she isn't a loser because she knows she isn't a loser and deserves to have a chance in the spotlight? i sure as hell think so.

but Max kills her immediately after. he stops her from ever living out her big dreams of being a star.

the motif comes back again, obviously, in the reprise of Cool As I Think I Am;

the lyrics change this time around, and Pete sings 'you have to do it', which is him telling Steph that she has to be the one to kill him. despite Pete learning how to have self worth throughout this whole show, he still views himself as expendable. could this be justified with the fact that his two best friends just had their hopes and dreams shattered in death? probably. the point is, at some point during Max's killing spree, the death of his best friends, and the summoning of the Lords in Black, Pete has managed to convince himself that he's worthless again.

now. in the end, it feels like a happy ending due to the nature of The Best of You, but there are still a lot of loose ends to be explored. and on top of all that, the Nerds' motif comes back one last time;

because Grace kept the Black Book and continued to use it, and the Lords in Black are far from fair, i think Pete's torment and tragic narrative is not over by the end of NPMD.

so yeah. Pete, Richie, and Ruth are 'doomed by the narrative', as are most people in Hatchetfield. but these three characters are specifically doomed by their own self worth, and the narrative will never let them truly become their true selves.

and Jeff Blim wrote a banger melody to tell that story.

[librarycards]

do you have any book recs on relationship abuse? feel free to discard this question or point me elsewhere

hello anon - i read your other message to and am sending both of you much love. thanks for reaching out.

first and foremost, i am still very much a student of the literature in relationship abuse, not an expert. here are some books that may be helpful, with annotations:

Banu Khapil, The Vertical Interrogation of Strangers. Khapil interviews women from the South Asian diaspora using a set of guiding craft/storytelling questions. i found this book immensely useful for my writing, which is to say, for transmuting the unlanguagable experiences of trauma - including relationship abuse and sexual violence - and restorying them in ways that worked for me.

Eli Clare, Exile and Pride. Clare is a trans survivor of CSA, and writes about the intersection of disability and survivorship.

Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice, and their other work. They're a decorated writer, performer, and activist deeply invested in a disability justice + femme-of-color oriented approach to community care, and speak frankly and often about intimate partner violence, CSA, and the aftermath, as well as TJ-based approaches.

I have not read Beyond Survival, but tentatively recommend taking a look, alongside my friend's astute commentary about the book's metatext.

Maggie Smith, You Could Make this Place Beautiful. Smith is a brilliant poet, and has written this memoir about her divorce. As we dig deeper, we uncover a context of abuse, exploitation, infidelity, and dangerous envy on the part of her husband; and watch her carve a life beyond him.

Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House. A classic in the category of abuse memoir, and for good reason. Machado's insights into the onion of abuse culture in which we currently live –– ownership rhetorics around children, the subjugation of women, the silence around abuse by and of queer women –– are crucial.

Erin Elizabeth Smith, Down. My dear friend and colleague's book of poems that speak to the insidious process of grooming and its downstream effects, as well as the process of finding one's freedom.

And a few works of fiction to offer solidarity & new ways of thinking in this time:

Sayaka Murata, Earthlings

Tiffany D Jackson, Grown

Dorothy Allison, Bastard Out of Carolina

Ruth Ozeki, My Year of Meats

Tiffany McDaniel, Betty

i hope this is helpful. i don't necessarily know if these are the kinds of narratives your friend needs rn, but these are the ones that have helped me begin coming to terms with my own experiences (i have a long way to go) and have afforded me the chance to think critically about relationship dynamics and cultures of abuse that refuse to absolve abusers of responsibility for their behavior.

[rentumblsstuff]

Back to the NPMD x Monster High AU, a couple more things:

I would like to rescind my Werecat Brenda in favor of Nighthawk Harpy Brenda. Yes, I know I made Kyle a werewolf to parallel Brenda being a werecat but I also have a better offer for Kyle too: Yeti, which is why he still holds a grudge against Max for wrecking his dad’s ski-doo.

I have so many thoughts on Vampire Grace. She was born a normie and is a recently turned vampire (maybe even a vampire hunter that failed on an outing and was turned by her prey). She’s having trouble coping with her religion now that she’s a monster and constantly wears turtlenecks like the one she wears in Perky’s Buds to cover up her bite marks. She tried still wearing her cross necklace as a show of rejecting this new form, trying to embrace the pain of having the cross so close because she thought that loving Jesus even when she’s a form of half-demon would make herself better than other Christians, but it hurt way too badly for her to handle so now she just says she wears it underneath her sweater. Jason was born a vampire and wants to help her through her dysphoria but Grace won’t accept anyone treating her like she’s a vampire (even though she is). She does like the part about eating flesh and drinking blood- it’s what Jesus says to do with himself, so in a way, she’s making everyone she eats a little more Christ-like. That’s her thought process, at least. She also still pretends to be human around her parents and normie best friend Gabe. Gabe may or may not know that she’s a vampire though and wants to seduce her so she can turn him too.

In High School is Killing Me, the lyric is now changed to “Fuck you, biteology.”

Max’s Jekyll form is human (Max), but his Hyde form looks like his ghost (The Jagerman).

Stachie is soooo canon because Richie loves swimming but as a werecat Stacy refuses to get in the water and they feel like their romance is especially forbidden because of it. If Richie didn’t love the water so much, he’d wish he was a werecat too because he also wants to be a pretty little kitty meow meow

Ethan, Lex, and Hannah also went there obviously and Ethan was a ghost á la Jonny Spirit and Lex and Hannah are both spider people. You know tf why lol

Ruth is a lot like Frankie Stein in that she flirts with a lot of people but they Do. Not. Flirt. Back. Rather than solid stripes, her sweater looks more like lightning bolts and the mushroom design is a little creepier than just an Amanita.

A lot of the smoke club are also nighthawk harpies (because they like eating the weed) (including Deb) and so a lot of people assume Brenda is also in the smoke club. She isn’t. Monster high typical speciesism mixed with Hatchetfield High typical bullying regardless of social hierarchy.

The Woodwards are flytraps and that’s why Alice doesn’t smoke- plants don’t do that to other plants. This is often a point of contention between Deb and Alice even though they try to pretend it isn’t an issue

Steph’s secretly embarrassed about her decay so she always makes sure her wraps are FRESH, but the rest of her outfit is always her jagged hand-cut crop tops and ripped jeans. Her decay spread to her scalp and forehead and everyone knows better than to say something about the wraps on her forehead or how she always wears a beanie but Pete accidentally tells her he thinks it makes her look even cooler. Swooning ensues because nobody dares address her flaws, much less say she’s cooler for having them.

Steph secretly wishes Pete had a corporeal form because her love language is physical touch and she’s sad she’ll never be able to hold him. (Kind of like how Cleo is sad she’ll never get to look Deuce in the eyes).

Sophia/Spitfire as a background character fire elemental is a MUST.

The janitor is a crazy man who lives in the catacombs under the school and is possessed by what the student body can only assume is a goat demon and Peter Geist feels weirdly like he knows him.

Rosary as Claire Rosary as Claire Rosary as Claire-

Pete has also died recently as one of The Jagerman’s attacks when he was out of control, and he’s new to the school along with Grace. He’s stuck in this dorky outfit he wore so he wouldn’t get bullied and can never change clothes, but at least he’s impossible to punch unless if another spirit tried to attack him. As opposed to Grace in life, he was very interested in the supernatural (one of his special interests) so he knows quite a bit about monster types but is always hungry to learn more about the new world he found himself un-living in

[l0st-marblezz]

Hatchetverse x Nevermore Webcomic AU where:

The LIB are the deans

Everyone in the Hatchetverse who have canonically died are students

Everyone has forgotten how they died but slowly remember their past lives like the comic

Tinky constantly torments Ted and Pokey constantly torments Paul

Ruth, Richie, and Max have to deal with each other once they remember their past lives

Paul and Emma get a reunion once they remember each other

Alice and Bill work out their problems

Max’s spectre is his ghost form but more exaggerated if that makes sense

Richie’s spectre is very magical girl / overpowered anime protagonist coded

Ruth’s spectre involves her love of acting and musicals, which terrifies Paul

Like the comic it’s spectres vs spectreless except the spectres in question are hormonal and unstable teenagers and the spectreless are just the regular adults of Hatchetfield

Disclaimer I haven’t seen Black Friday or Nightmare Time yet so keep that in mind

Thank you for reading my ramblings on two very different pieces of media I’m currently obsessing over and is considering writing fanfic of.

If anyone has any more suggestions please leave them in the replies!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for exposing strangers to danger out of awkwardness? I know it sounds bad but hear me out.

About a month ago, I (M30s) was at the local pub having some pints when these two guys (M20s) come in. It's obvious from their accents that they're foreigners, and they are a lot younger than most other customers (various, 40s-60s). At a guess they were probably university students on holiday. I also found out later that they were Jewish but I cannot stress enough that nobody knew that, it's not an antisemitism thing, so please do not make it about that. Just, full disclosure.

Anyway, they tried to order food (this isn't a restaurant) and then hot chocolate (no chance). The bartender, "Ruth" (F50s) was actually pretty rude to them, like she was trying right away to get them to leave (more on that later). Everyone sees this happening and it's really uncomfortable. I mean, all conversations have stopped (it's not a very big place). But it's cold outside, so they decide to stay for a while.

Fortunately, one of them makes a reference to a movie and it gets picked up by a couple of other people, which really breaks the tension. Everyone relaxes and people are laughing and joking around until out of nowhere that same guy points at one of the wall decorations and very loudly goes "What's that doing here?" It's actually a locally significant symbol, but the way he asked seemed somehow confrontational, and we're not gonna try to explain it to someone we just met, especially since it's more like he expects us to justify it or something. It sucks all the air out of the room immediately, and the guy's friend decides they should leave.

This is where maybe I/we were the assholes. The thing is, this is actually a pretty dangerous area, but these guys are clearly young and clueless. There's no Uber here and no transit that late, so they're going to be on foot, easy prey should anything happen. Now Ruth has done a 180 and she wants to stop them leaving. We're all like, lady, you were the one trying to get rid of them as soon as they arrived. No one wanted them to stick around making everything so awkward. We did warn them, but it really seemed like they weren't taking it very seriously. They leave. Ruth and one or two others are upset with everyone. Nobody really felt great about it, but they were really killing the vibe, you know?

Well, now I really really feel like shit about it, because it turns out that they did get jumped. They had no idea how serious the danger was, and we let them go like lambs to the slaughter. One of them landed in the hospital and the other ended up undead and walking the earth in limbo until the Curse of the Werewolf is lifted—when his friend dies!

So, was I the asshole for letting a couple of Americans go walking over the moors on the night of a full moon? 🚶‍♂️🌕🐺😵💀

What are these acronyms?