#in this case i guess demo ended up being the focus?

[moved-2-coyotejone-s]

trifecta of shitpost redraws that inexplicably have scout in all of them (originals and extras under the cut)

second image unblurred vvv

[night-market-if]

AHHHHH The last chapter, just AHHHHHH, it was expected, but unexpected, I, I just can't.

I think, I dont know if this was an error or purposely, but when you are talking with <3Malcolm<3 and you have the options "I do/I'm sorry/ I could" talking about Milo and if you love him, in "I'm sorry" option, you go to the same page than "I could", again I don't know if you wanted in that way or not, but just in case I told you xD

SPOILEEEERSSSSSS

I'm so hyped for the next chapter, I can already see my MC, someone who really are a "Kuudere stereotype" (more or less he is a "serious and sarcastic type of character who is often cold, blunt, and cynical without showing any signs of emotion". But this is all facade, inside they are very affectionate, at least when it comes to their loved ones) losing his shit with all the things happening and busting in flames and drama because:

"really, I was wandering like a lost puppy all over the market for so long meanwhile people here were busy making necromancy shit, broking spines, buying-selling people as prison system and my f-ing lover/boyfriend whatever we are, (BECAUSE I EVEN DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL WE ARE) were more worried hiding the secret I almost died for a couple of times and telling shit like "be careful" ohhhh im going to be careful, dear of course im going to, I'm going to be very careful when I catch you cause im going to kill you" and "all the people here are just worrying about keeping their secrets and making shit decisions instead of worrying about the end of the world so f u guys"

The meme of a doggo saying "Im fine" meanwhile siping it's cafe in a house in flames? That is my mc outside, inside is the meme of "gimme yo f-ing money!!" CHAN CHAN LAW & ORDER Special victim unit Being the girl my MC and all the other character and drama the doll.

Can we please choose to lost our shit? I will love my usually calm MC losing his cool and exploding in a flurry of pent up emotions (I love drama)

The worst of all? I know im going to feel so bad about Milo that, surely im going to choose the meaner option only to know the way he will react but then im going to go back and choose the better option for his mental health cause, lets be honest, the poor guy needs not a therapy, but a whole psychological office, poor baby boy.

PS: Malcolm is the sexiest, charmer cutest boy ever and every time he talk my MC simp, a lot. I loved the head?canon about him talking with the lamp lights and now I cant stop thinking about it

Okey, maybe its better for me to stop rambling, thank you so much for all your hard work! Really, you are writing a master piece, I hope you have a beautiful day

That was for sure a bug! I got it all fixed up for the next update. Kicking myself that that one got messed because the "I'm sorry" portion was kind of important for a future romance. But! I guess that's why we have wips. LOL

I like the headcannon MC you got going. That is awesome. And oddly works really well I think for a Milo romance. I think Milo needs someone that can put him in his place occasionally and who is not afraid to call him out on his bullshit. In chapter twelve, it is going to much more be about getting the information he is holding back. There are going to be some moments to get angry with him but there is a lot going on in the last chapter that it won't be the focus. But I promise you, it is going to happen in book 2. There is no way Milo could even be in the game anymore without a confrontation of some sorts. I'll let the reader handle how they would like to see that confrontation but it will be there.

🪷✨🪷✨ If you want to support me 🪷 ✨🪷✨

 Demo 🌿 Patreon 🌿 Ko-fi 🌿Discord

[laurarolla]

So I started Strike Suit Zero: Director's Cut finally (was doing some item cleanup in Elden Ring the last few days so I'm ready for the DLC at launch). I'm in an odd headspace about it, and I suppose I should start with talking about other space fighter sim/shooter games I've played and my feelings on the genre.

See, my first of these kind of games was a demo of the first stage of Colony Wars on PS1, which eventually led me to actually play the game itself sometime later. From the beginning, there was a sort of push and pull in regards to how these games play for me compared to how I want to play them. Space fighter games of this kind ask a lot of the player right from the word go, largely because of a limited degree of mercy provided for you doing something stupid early on. There's a progression to a lot of these games where you focus on dogfighting first, then graduate to defending a capital ship, then move on to taking down capital ships, all while learning the handling of your craft and optimizing your various weapon systems. In a game like this, control complexity is a crucial balancing act, and honestly, Colony Wars is the only one of these games I've played that felt like it nailed the sweet spot for me. Strike Suit Zero is close, to the point that literally swapping two buttons might fix my biggest control issue (thrusters should be A, transform should be R3). I haven't checked that option yet. The thing is that part of why Colony Wars worked as best I can tell is the lack of customization meant every stage needed to be crafted for the player's expected skill level and equipment loadout. Later games I've played such as Project Sylpheed: Arc of Deception and Strike Suit Zero have the ability to replay stages and unlock upgrades, meaning that your limited arsenal and ship capabilities feel like harder limits. Wanna try taking out the capital ships in the early stages? Too bad, you don't have the firepower, shoot incoming missiles and try to take out fighters instead. When you're done doing what we tell you the first time, you can come back with bigger guns and higher skill and do the stuff you want next time.

Maybe the honest reality is the Colony Wars broke my expectations. With only skill and luck to rely on, you had to learn the stages and figure out specific exploits if you wanted to, say, shut down a capital ship to protect your fleet more easily with a specific type of fighter, or you had to acknowledge that your equipment makes capital ship fighting entirely impossible so you need to focus on fighters while your allies deal with the big guns. Stages felt like puzzles you figured out through retries, and the game even allowed the story to keep moving forward if you failed in many cases, just with worse possible endings. Additionally, stages were far shorter and less intense in terms of enemy numbers and such. I guess my issue really is that I'm just not built for these kinds of games, despite genuinely loving the genre. I have something of an allergic reaction to the idea of crawling before walking, in a sense, and I want to feel like I earn the place of being a hero rather than feeling like I'm jammed into the role of The Ace Pilot Protagonist most of the time. We'll see how this eventually plays out, but there's a decent chance that I just won't end up vibing with SSZ by the end of it.

Fun bit of trivia: Call of Duty Infinite Warfare? Perfectly scratches the space shooter itch in bite size chunks. Very surprising to think about all these years later.

[shai-manahan]

OK OK OK CALM DOWN CALM DOWN THIS IS NOT AM EMERGENCY BUT I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW JUST HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR WRITING AND IF LIKE- ????? THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE THINGS IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND OMG THAT NIGHTMARE SCENE IS GIVING ME NIGHTMARES THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT SO I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU THAT I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR WORK AND HOW GLAD IM THAT YOU DECIDED TO BRING IT TO LIFE- SO KEEP IT UP AND PLEASE TAKE CARE YOUR HEALTH AS WELL 👍👍👍👍👍👍

also i have a few theories about our MC if you don't mind-

1. so... as i played through the nightmare scene for the 9th time in a row to fully relish the horror and trauma, i realized that our dear (but unfortunate) MC must have gone through something MUCH MUCH worse than merely watching their father get oofed off by their mother 🤔🤔🤔 because i once read somewhere that if someone experiences like a really bad traumatic experience their brain will instinctively suppress their memories and lock them away to protect the person from getting anymore affected and also to give them a sense of normality? dunno about that our brains can be really mysterious sometimes, which brings me to my second theory

2. OK OK OK i know this may sound crazy and also scientifically inaccurate, but i think MC has some sort of Dissociative disorder? i mean- how do you explain their sudden black out from their home to their journey all the way to Bale's territory and the bar? or maybe im just overthinking it and perhaps its somehow related to the hallucinations and the syringes that have been emphasized over multiples times in the demo

3. why do i feel our MC is being drugged with something 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 or maybe something happened before or after the incident with their father otherwise why would Alex act so sus, Vincent too, YALL TOO SUS

and so ends my theory spree as i have exhausted my remaining two brain cells to make SOME kind of sense and connection through this whole theory thing

ALSO ALSO ALONZO WHY DO I HAVE A FEELING I WRONGED YOU SOMEHOW AND SOMEWHERE AND IF I DID IM SO SORRY -

which puts me to my next question, i wonder why our MC just offed 11 of their coworkers 🤔 corruption maybe? whatever the case Is, it still doesn't excuse bernard (or whatever his name is, he's a jerk) for acting like the lil piece of poop he is, to both us and finn cause oh boy imma bout to throw hands (you better sleep with one eye open you lil shit)

ALSO ALSO ALSO MORE WESLEY LORE YAY omg now i feel kinda conflicted rn like i still wanna sock that lil bastard for exposing us but i feel kinda pity for him too, also that wholesome moment between them was so cute if not for the current angsty situation, but i guess i'll them off with one good bish slap on the face for the whole expose before listening to their side of the story

and now finally, after going through your whole blog i realized that we have a hidden mental health stat- lol my mc is gonna be one helluva self sabotaging half depressed boi bu the end of this IF 😂

SORRY FOR THE EXTREMELY LONG RANT / ASK I WAS JUST TOO EXCITED AFTER PLAYING THE WHOLE DEMO AGAIN OVER 9 TIMES BEFORE FINALLY FEELING SATISFIED- IM SORRY 😭😅

Oh that is long, but don't be sorry! I love seeing long messages like this 😌And I’m so glad you love the story to this extent 😭

First of all, so there'll be no misunderstandings, I want to make it clear that what the MC is going through isn't exactly a dissociative disorder, although there is some degree of disassociation happening. I can't explain further because it's a very huge spoiler, but not everything they've been experiencing can be solely attributed to the level of trauma and other related occurrences that DID patients often went through before being diagnosed. It's a little... different.

This does not mean, however, that the MC has no repressed memories 😔 If you look carefully, there are actually some more hints spread throughout the demo, although some of them are hidden behind certain routes. A lot are in Chapter 2, though. Anyway, the revelations relating to it won’t be the focus of Book 1, but there will be a lot more clues in the future.

And yeah, I'm afraid Alex and Vincent will continue to be sus all the way.

YALL TOO SUS

ah but I wouldn’t have done my job right if they’re not sus :)))

why do i feel our MC is being drugged with something 🤔

🤔🤔🤔

ALSO ALSO ALONZO WHY DO I HAVE A FEELING I WRONGED YOU SOMEHOW AND SOMEWHERE AND IF I DID IM SO SORRY

Well, I suppose that depends on the perspective but Alonzo does believe the MC has wronged them haha which is tbh actually valid.

which puts me to my next question, i wonder why our MC just offed 11 of their coworkers 🤔 corruption maybe?

To be fair, I don't think arresting them counts as offing lmao but yeah there's a heavy corruption occurring within the police force and everybody knows it; it's just that most of the people in Gaile cannot do anything to stop it. And don't worry about Bertrand, he already sleeps with one eye open lmaoooo although he does have kind of a huge role (spoiler: he will always be an asshole).

Wesley's reuinion scene, though... if you all think the flashback scene is already conflicting you, well, the reunion might uh.... actually nevermind, I'm not gonna spoil it.

and now finally, after going through your whole blog i realized that we have a hidden mental health stat- lol my mc is gonna be one helluva self sabotaging half depressed boi bu the end of this IF 😂

There are four types of mental health stats in the demo right now, but I'm arranging all the variables in a spreadsheet to see if I've missed anything. I kinda have a lot of them lmfao.

[platonic-prompts]

Creatures from Folklore: Slavic Region A-D

You ever need different creatures to base things off of, or just want some legends for a setting? Or heck, you ever just want to chuck a creature at someone and say you’ll figure it out? Well, do I have the posts for you. This one will focus on the Slavic Region but I’ll make more at a later date

Ala are considered to be demons of bad weather in several folklore, including that of Bulgarians, Macedonians, and Serbs. Their main purpose is to lead thunderclouds that produce hail towards fields, vineyards, or orchards to either destroy the crops or to loot and take them. They are very voracious and really like to eat children. Though one shouldn’t assume they limit their tastes to Earth, no. They sometimes try to devour the sun and moon which lead to eclipses and if they succeed it means the end of the world. People who encounter one may find their mental and physical health as well as their lives at risk. It is, however, possibly to gain her favor by approaching with trust and respect. These good relationships can be very beneficial since she (the ala) can make those with her favor wealthy and save their lives if they are in danger. Ala can take on many different forms: black wind, giant creatures with no distinct form, a monster either humanlike or snake like witha  huge mouth, a female dragon, a raven, various human and animal shapes. Ala can also possess people’s bodies. They live in the clouds or in lakes, springs, hidden remote places as well as caves, inhospitable mountains, forests, or even a huge tree. Usually hostile towards humans, they have powerful enemies capable of defeating them like the dragons.

Alkanost have an incredible voice, capable of making anyone who hears her song might forget everything in their search for paradise. A creature of good who resides in the garden of the gods or whatever version of heaven required, the alkanost has the head and bust of a woman and the rest of the body is that of a bird. Sometimes this creature lays eggs which assist in the changing of winter to spring. Basically she wouldn’t sit on her eggs just dump them into the Ocean-Sea and when they reached the bottom the weather would turn fair. Though i think that takes her out of the running for parenting awards.

Anchutka is a small malevolent spirit, residing most often in water or a swamp. Even without wings, it is capable of flight. One of its nicknames is the one without heels. This is a common theme to look for, as oftentimes evil forces have a limp. Though in some storied this spirit has lost their heels because they got bitten off by a wolf. This spirit is often a sidekick to a water spirit called Vodyanoy, and as such you should never say its name aloud since it will always show up.

Aspid, a type of dragon with a beak and other birdlike elements, resides primarily in the mountains, preferring solitude. When it invades a region, nearly always it caused universal devastation.

Baba Yaga: I’m pretty sure a lot of people know about Baba Yaga, the witch who lives in a hut with chicken legs and goes around in a mortar and pestle. She does carry a broom though, but she only uses it to sweep away her tracks.

Bannik is a spirit who rarely does any good for anyone. A mischievous spirit that has the appearance of an old man with long claws, he’s a spirit that inhabits the banya (steamhouse). Whenever people bathed in the banya, they would always leave on the third or fourth session to let Bannik have his privacy. They would leave him offerings of soup and regularly thank him. Bannik had the power to tell the future and if asked a question he would softly touch the askers back if it was a good future or flay it if it was a not so good future. Oh and Bannik, when angry, would claw off the skin of those who annoyed him. The banya was also the place of Russian childbirth, so there were measures taken to keep him from interfering. Part of the midwife’s job was to keep him away. And with good reason. Legends say that he ate or flayed children. So therefore the midwife would dip stones in the water and throw them in the corner to distract the steamhouse spirit.

Bauk hide in dark places and holes and abandoned houses. There they wait to grab, take away, and devour their victims. They have a clumsy gait and can be scared away by light and noise.

Babay, possibly the same thing as the bubak, isn’t often described so children will come up with what is most terrible for them. But despite this, Baby has been described as a black and crooked old man. When he is descibed he tends to have some traits such as muteness, lacking arms, or walking with a limp. He carries with him a bag and a cane. Baby lives in a forest or a swamp or a garden only to come out at night to walk the streets and scoop up the children he meets. He will walk close to windows and watched the children sleep. If they aren’t he’ll scare them with noises. Or sometimes he even hides under kids beds to take them away if they get up.

Błędnica is a forest demoness, who leads people astray before leaving her victims alone in the midst of the forest to die of starvation or be eaten by animals. She is usually described as a young and pretty girl. The only way to chase her away is to use strong spells or to sacrifice something at home or during your hunt.

Blud is a fairy in Slavic mythology. An evil deity who causes disorientation and leads a person around and around aimlessly.

Bukavac lives in lakes and pools, coming out at night to make a loud noise. A six-legged monster with gnarled horns, it would jump people and animals and strangle them.

Bubak is often represented as a scarecrow with a skeleton as frame, which is connected with darkness, it is a type of boogeymen used to scare children. The skeleton often is describes as wearing a heavy black coat where it hides the children it steals.

Cikavac, a mythical creature from Serbian mythology and it kinda feels like a basilisk but way weirder. This thing is a bird that has a long beak and a pelican-like sack. You can acquire one at the low low price of your sanity and clear face. For you see, in order to get one, you need to take an egg from a black hen which a woman now needs to carry under her armpit for 40 days ( is now a good time to note that chicken eggs hatch after 21 days or so) and one cannot confess, cut nails, wash their face, or pray. After that the cikavac would suck the honey from other people’s beehives and suck milk from other peoples cows and then bring it back to their owner. It would fulfill its owner’s wishes and it would allow its owner to understand the animal language.

Chort, a demon or a humanlike spirit in Slavic folk tradition.  They are not exactly evil characters. Yes they try to trick people into selling them their souls in exchange for useless gifts. Yes those people are carried off into hell. But they are sometimes tricked into doing such things as building castle walls in a day. Sometimes is depicted as trying to bring evil characters to hell. A small, hairy man with a tail, horns, and one or two hooves. But due to shapeshifting abilities, the chort is able to appear in nicer forms and tries to trick people while in them. Though these transformations aren’t and can’t be complete, so there’s a way to know if one is dealing with a chort whether it be by small horns in curly black hair or a hoofed leg hidden within high boots. Though they share similarities, a chort is not the devil.

Čuma, aka kuga, is a personification of the plague in Serbo-Croation myths. Typically appears as an old woman wearing white, though in some cases has been depicted as a young woman. Direct mention of them were avoided and were usually referred to by godmother or aunty. According to belief, they lived in a far away land where they came from to infect people. Due to their hatred of dirtiness, if they found a dirty household they would be eager to infect it. Due to this, if a plague appeared,every house and its occupants must be thoroughly cleansed. In addition one could make offerings to of food, clean water, basil, and a comb.

Domovoi are household protectors, generally seen as kind spirits though they would harass the family they protect if said family was rude or unclean. This usually took the form of pulling small pranks until the family corrected their behavior. While domovoi are shape shifters, most depictions show them as small, bearded masculine creatures which are reminiscent of hobgoblins. In order to complete his chores and to fulfill his duty of protecting the house, the domovoi would assume the shape of the head of the household, sometimes working in the yard while the real head of household was asleep. (Guess spirits don’t have to worry about identity theft charges). They were also capable of turning into animals, rarely taking the form of a dog or a cat. Another facet of the domovoi was their ability to act as an oracle. Predictions are as follows

Dancing and laughing= Good fortune would come

Rubbed the bristles of a comb= a wedding would happen soon

Extinguished candles= Misfortune would fall upon the household.

Dziwożona, a type of female swamp demon from Slavic mythology, sometimes called Mamuna or Bognika, who lived in the thickets near rivers and streams and lakes. Thought to appear with foul weather around trees and swamps, they are known for being malicious and dangerous, and usually were previously living humans. Several types of people would be at risk of turning into one after death, such as: midwives, old maids, unmarried mothers, pregnant women who die before giving birth, and abandoned children who were born out of wedlock. Some depictions include an ugly, old woman who had a hairy body, long straight hair, and I quote “breasts so huge she uses them to wash her clothes”. I don’t know what that actually means and I don’t want to find out. She also wore a red hat with a fern twig attached. In case she wasn’t weird enough, she’d watch women with their little children.  Just chilling around making the kid sick and making schemes to get the mother away from the kid when she’d replace the kid with one of her own, a foundling/changeling.

[murdoc]

I'll throw my opinions from Twitter about the Valley of the Pagans vid onto here (edited so it reads a little better):

Even before addressing the elephant sized ending in the room, I was Really not a fan of this vid. Maybe it's because I loved the song since I first heard the leaked demo, and felt it had such great potential as an out there vid... idk. All I know is that it feels like such a wasted opportunity.

Speaking strictly on visuals for a sec, it would've been made a little better just by warping/inverting the colors like Aries and Désolé-- Hell, even just throwing on a preset color filter like Momentary Bliss did would work in its favor.

For a song so upbeat and strange, the visuals that accompany it are so disappointing it feels more like Big Rigs Over the Road Racing than GTA V, haha. I genuinely don't think I'd be as opposed to the gameplay scenes if they matched the tone of the song beyond what we see from the band.

Moving past visuals, my biggest crit of this vid is one I've had for a long while, just to a Much lesser degree.. the phase feels like it's lacking a proper concept.

What made Gorillaz special outside of their unique concept of being a multimedia virtual band that sought to breake the barriers between what could be considered a Real celebrity, is the fact they refused to ride off their past successes. Clint Eastwood, FGI, Dare, etc, were all left in the past for the most part (with some occasional small callbacks) to make room for the future of the band in hopes of topping their past albums.

It's exactly what annoys me a lot about the recent writing too. Not only is it bad, but the writer Refuses to stop bringing up his past jokes to make way for newer, possibly better jokes. By doing this you don't make room for progress or other memorable successes.

Don't get me wrong, I love Plastic Beach. It's a great album, has flawless art, and while the story is riddled with flaws that eventually lessened the core message of the project as a whole, I truly don't mind the attempt to change focus from being irl celebs to having a storyline to some degree, since it was an attempt to try something completely new.. but with that said.. I don't want it back.

It has no need for coming back. Aspects of p3 like the messages of environmentalism and politics, as well as the tone of escapism the island gave (maybe not literal in this case, lol) is something that Should be circled back on-- it's still relevant, it's worth repeating, and the means of going about it aren't limited.. but going back to Plastic Beach? There's no reason for this... Besides cashing in some nostalgia points.

It's just furthering the crutch they seem to have lately of relying on their past successes to pull them forward. The cost of which is leaving a project that doesn't feel as impactful.

I guess I just really wish they'd try something new.

They created this incredibly interesting new format with Song Machine and then didn't really do as much as they could with it. It's like they ran out of ideas or lost view of what made them special :(

I feel it's important to mention, I don't envy being on Jamie's side of the project right now, having to do so much work in so little time.. There's no way crunch isn't happening to make these deadlines. By no means is this me expecting them to make a better product in the short time they've been given.

They've said in the recent past that they're "making it up as they go," and I truly believe in there lies one of the core issues. This format could HEAVILY benefit from some more future planning, but unfortunately that isn't their call to make. (Or mine.) All I know is that the PB callback was a bad move.

Even with planning ahead, some vids of course would have less animation than others, but they could be utilized in better ways by having a clearer view of what they're going for.

Pagans could go from what we saw, to having this vid's "portal" take them into GTA where it's revealed Beck is the one playing playing the game. At some point Noodle gains control of her actions in game and goes for a joy ride through now distorted game footage. Beck could be in a little facecam window when not needing focus on his reactions.

The Machine Bitez commentary could be changed as well to be a bit more lengthier, with Noodle sharing her idea on the vid being how current life feels like others are trying to control her/others & how you shouldn't let that happen, and this vid was a means of representing how they feel in their current lives. Maybe 2D or Russ recommended they use game footage.. IDK!

This isn't great by any means, I'm just thinking out loud without the stress of crunch on my shoulders. That's the luxury we have of just being a spectator in this situation.. I doubt they consider this anywhere near their best vid... But either way, PB being added should have never happened. This project still has so much to offer that Blatant fan pandering should not be what's being resorted to, to hold this up right now.

[bnha-scenarios]

Okay, so, first thing first. The second half of September and the whole October has been a wild ride.

Apparently this game blew up on TikTok (and probably some other platform or something?), and now I could see that there are tons of you who downloaded the game. That's just... so... unreal, at least to me. I didn't think this project would get so much attention. Even now, I’m still waiting to wake up from this dream 🙃

Anyway, if you’re new here: welcome! Sit back and relax, ‘cause this is gonna be a long ride!

I want to take this opportunity to say that due to the amount of comments, especially on itch.io page and my Tumblr, I won’t be always replying personally one by one to everyone anymore. I'll still try my best to answer questions and all, but I think by now everyone's common questions should already be answered in the FAQ page. So, moving forward, questions I have already answered inside that page will be ignored.

Still, I want you to know that I do read and treasure every single one of your comments. Thank you so much for your encouraging words, support, and suggestions! I'm sorry I can’t reply to those writing in languages other than English and Indonesian. While I can throw simple comments into Google Translate, every now and then the translator butchers long sentences and gives me garbled translation which I can't understand 😥

  ☕️ Special Thanks ☕️ 

I'd like to also take this chance to say, many, many thanks for the coffee, you all amazing, generous people:

M.L. | Dominique | Genki | Sara | 1 Anon

Even in this hard time, you’re all so kind. Again, I can’t really do much, but as my way of thanking you, your names will be put under Special Thanks in the game ♡ 

Alright, now, to the real essence of this post: progress update.

My work had been pretty demanding nearing the end of this month, and it made me get really sick of doing coding in general. Still, there is some progress on the game, and that’s good enough for me!

More details below ↓

Character Sheet: You / Player / Main Character

Before I get to anything else, let’s talk about ‘you’ first, shall we?

Although the main character's name is changeable, if you don’t wish to pick a name for them, ‘Suzuki Kaede’ is set as the default name.

Why Suzuki? I figured I would just take from one of the most common Japanese surnames.

Why Kaede? I chose it because I wanted a common Japanese unisex name, because the main character themselves is supposed to be gender neutral. So, the name came up as one of the results in Google, it has a somewhat nice and neutral meaning (maple), and I find that it sounds pretty nice, I decided to use it.

To reiterate, throughout the game, I try my best to not mention any physical characteristics and avoid elements which leans heavily to a specific gender in the story. All the characters in the game will also call you with your last name, and only neutral suffix (-san) is used at first. But you could get an event where you would be able to pick how the love interest will call the player, starting from that point in the story (on top of neutral options, there will be choices with gender-specific suffixes which you could pick if you want to). Other than that, all characters will always refer to the MC as ‘they/them’.

Now, moving on to the thing which people has asked about -- the player's Quirk. Here's a text version in case you couldn't see it in the image above for some reason:

What happens when a woman with Enhanced Learning quirk and a man with Camera Vision procreates? A child with exemplary learning ability and a pair of exceptionally observant eyes, apparently! The hereditary Vision you got from your father enables you to focus or scan an object or landscapes. With all the cues and information from your eyes, it seems that you're able to analyze and 'see' particular details of your object of interest in the form of numerical data. Due to the mainly passive nature of your quirk, you have to rely on the traditional weapons for offense, which might not be useful at all depending on your opponent's quirk. It's a plain and nonoffensive ability which isn’t so suited for a hero according to most people, but whatever - you’ll show those noobs the power of a gamer!

In other words, the information in 'Stats',  ' Weapon Proficiency', 'Special Moves', and even the 'Affection' meter, are actually part of the MC's Quirk. This also means, the more you hone your Quirk, the more it could affect your gameplay. I'll talk about that on the Gameplay section below.

There is one thing that’s kind of related to the MC's Quirk and I wanted to clarify. Bakugou did call you this in the demo, and yep, you might have guessed it: “crosshair eyes”. Reticle, crosshair, whatever you want to call it -- it’s that symbol you usually see in the center of your screen whenever you play FPS games. This is the only physical feature of the player's character that I specified (and yes, canonically, Hatsume has a pair of similar looking eyes in the original work). In relation to this, the icon for ‘activating’ your Quirk matches the same symbol.

Gameplay

Introducing: Stats, Special Moves, and Video Games!

Stats

There are 5 basic Stats for all of the characters in the game (brownie points if you recognize where they're taken from!): Speed, Technique, Power, Intelligence, Cooperativeness.

Your own Stats start off low, but you will be able to increase it by doing various activities, such as studying, playing games, winning on Heroics lessons, going to certain places, etc. Different activities raises different Stat, and you're free to choose which particular Stat you want to develop.

What are Stats being used for?

Certain Stat will increase a certain character’s affection, though it won’t be as much as if you hang out with that character.

There are certain places which you can only unlock when a specific Stat reaches a certain point. I’ll talk about hang out places and characters’ schedules in another post.

Weekly one-on-one training matches in Heroics lessons will test a specific Stat or Special Moves each time. Depending on who you chose to become your opponent, that specific Stat will determine the outcome of that match. On one hand, winning these matches can increase your Stat, but on the other hand, there are also special events you could possibly unlock when you lose. Again, I’ll probably talk more in detail about this in another post, since I still don't have the coding part down, so things might change.

Special Moves

Every hero has a Special Move in this universe, and so does the player’s character! While they might not be as flashy as All Might’s iconic United States of Smash, some of your Special Moves will have a direct effect on the gameplay. For example, a certain Special Move could unlock more answer choices for certain scenarios. Another Special Move could be activated to give you hints on how many affection points will be added to a character for the available choices.

You have a total of 5 unlockable Special Moves, and it will be up to you to use this feature: do you spend your time trying to unlock all of it in hope to make your gameplay easier, or ignore them completely in favor of balancing your Stats while pursuing the affection of your chosen love interest? It’s your choice!

(More brownie points for you if you got the reference in that picture lol)

Another use for Special Moves would be in the Heroics lessons, seeing as it might test how your Special Move fares against the opponent you picked.

Video Games

I would say that this particular element plays quite a big role in this game, since the MC learns and develops themselves by playing games. While you do have a set of games which you’ve owned, you’re able to purchase new games from the Video Game store. I would recommend doing this, as there are some neat ones which will help you greatly in your playthrough. But if you're not interested to explore them, that's fine too!

Each video game has a different effect, and it’s up to you to discover them! Or, perhaps, you could unlock a Special Move that allows you to know what effect each of the game has? 😉

What are Video Games being used for?

Most games will only increase specific Stat(s), but there are also others that can unlock Special Moves.

There is one game which helps you to unlock Stats or Special Moves of your classmates, which you can use in the Heroics lesson to pick a suitable opponent based on your current Stats.

In addition to all that, there are 2P games which require more than one person to play, and you could play them with your romance target when they’re available. On top of building your Cooperativeness, choosing the right answers during the gaming session will increase that character's affection.

Others

The basic functions behind some activities like studying, buying video games, and playing video games are done. I will probably move on to code the functions handling the Heroics lesson’s battles and the behind-the-scenes of when the player chooses to go to certain places.

I've also finished the two main custom screens, which is the Quirk and Games page. If I have time and the motivation, I'm guessing I'll be adding the two other additional screens I had thought of doing. We'll see.

Assets

This part is my nightmare, because I’m a perfectionist who’s far too picky when gathering resources…

But no assets = no game, so I did find several assets which I did like. This includes backgrounds, audios, background musics, and some sprites I was planning to use for developing the phone call function. I’m not going to list down all the things I found here, because I don’t think any of you would be interested in a long-ass list, but here’s an amazing background picture which I stumbled upon searching the dark abyss that is the internet:

Full credits to the artist: https://arsenixc.artstation.com/

Writing

I would have to say there isn't too much progress on this side yet, but I did decide on some story elements I want to insert into the game and scripted in a few scenes for the first day. I also managed to code in the dialogs for some common activities / places, like the video game store and a small part of school lunch time.

Honestly, I should probably create a sheet to identify how many scenes I would have to write? So all of us know the progress for this part of the development? ..... Let's see how it goes when my OCD flares up...

Disclaimers

All assets included in the devlogs are not mine, and credits to the asset owners / websites will be included in the game! My Hero Academia / Boku no Hero Academia ⓒ Horikoshi Kouhei

[doberbutts]

(this is service dog anon 🐩) thank you so much! and take your time -- i know new puppies are a labour of love. I've been looking at multiple poodle breeders (im Canadian-based) and I'm currently caught between one who breeds for service dogs & trains service dogs for a living but isn't involved in any breed clubs, show, or sport vs. two show breeders heavily involved in the breed. the show breeders have more comprehensive health testing too so i'm,,, conflicted.

(🐩) likewise, the lady who breeds for service is only 2 generations removed from her foundation bitch so she's not as "established" as the other breeders i'm looking at. i'm just so worried that i'm getting a dog from an unethical breeder because i have a lot of ADS friends who are side-eyeing that i want a breeder-bought SD in the first place so i want to be completely sure that i'm supporting someone ethical and getting a healthy puppy. do you have any other tips for vetting a SD breeder?

(🐩) Last question! (Thank you so much!!) Is it reasonable to ask a breeder for references from past clients who have had successful service animals or I guess just working animals in general? I'd feel more comfortable buying from a breeder who keeps in touch with their clients but I don't want to seem too overbearing.

I would say that’s a bit of a tough call.

For me I am always leery of those who “breed service dogs” and don’t have any way to check on whether their dogs are actually successful or not outside of what the owner says. Which is all well and good but the majority of service dog teams are people who don’t train dogs and don’t understand temperament and so the reports are skewed either way in the dog’s favor (even if the dog is not actually doing well) or way against the dog (even if the dog is fine).

Additionally it sounds like the “service dog” breeder is not as knowledgeable or as rigorous as the “show dog” breeders you’re considering- with less health testing and less establishment her dogs might be exactly what you need... or she could be still finding what she’s looking for and thus you don’t have the best shot at having a successful service dog.

Sometimes those who don’t breed “for service dogs” are still a decent shot at a breeder for your service dog. Such was the case with Creed- Creed’s breeder did not breed service dogs but did breed dogs meant for public work, and Creed became a very successful service dog. Fae comes from service dogs but was not bred with the intention of being a service dog (and will not be one, just a demo dog and sport dog). Sushi’s breeder has produced several service dogs but again does not breed specifically for service work. So don’t discount someone just because that’s not their primary focus.

I talk a lot about temperament and what I’m looking for in a dog. Then I make an honest evaluation of what I see in the dogs the breeder is working with and see how those dogs measure up to what I’m looking for. If I don’t see what I need, I look elsewhere. But I also want to make sure I see full and complete health testing, temperament testing, a degree of knowledge regarding the dogs be it behavior, genetics, whathaveyou, and- this is a big one for me- I want to be proud of who I’ve chosen. If I feel I need to hide it for any reason, I don’t pursue. End of.

For your last question, I’ve done so in the past! Most breeders will give you access to some sort of FB group, email listing, text exchange, whatever and you can see from there. Fae’s and Sushi’s breeders have FB groups, Creed’s breeder has an email group.

[smokeybrand]

Mutiny

I’m not a fan of Joe Rogen. I find a lot of what he says to be problematic as f*ck but the way he says it, is FAR more damaging. Dude pushes some wild, dangerous, nonsense under the guise of “free speech��, disingenuous “debate”, and insidiously leading questions. Rogen is the Frat Boy version of Tucker Carlson in a lot of ways and that sh*t just doesn’t appeal to me. Beta males who think too highly of themselves listen to this due and take him seriously. These are people who are not self-actualized, who’s entire personality is based on their car or their sneakers or some other superficial bullsh*t they confuse for a personality, and that’s what Rogen’s entire show is; Superficial bullsh*t. So when he pushes dumb-f*ckery like “Don’t get the shot if you’re young and healthy”, these idiots who are either teenagers or have the mentality of teenagers, f*cking listen and we have a spike in cases. Because Joe Rogen said so.

The other day, this asshole bought into that whole “White Fear” sh*t, talking about how the Straight White Male is the most persecuted demo in America and i just groaned. This is the same exact sh*t Carlson does on his show, verbatim, just slightly less racist. It’s the current strategy of what is fast becoming the American Fascist Party, Republicans. It’s hypocritical f*cking nonsense and i hate it. How the f*ck would Joe Rogen, a Straight White Male with a whole ass podcast, be silenced or censored or persecuted/ He’s a multi-millionaire with one of the most popular platforms on f*cking Spotify. How the f*ck would any White person, especially Straight White Males, get silenced in the US? The bones of this country are built to uphold a very specific form of White Supremacy. Hell, cats talk about all these rights and liberties but, in the very beginning, those rights were only extended to White Male Landowners; basically Rich White Men, and guess who the f*ck Joe Rogen is? The constitution had to be amended to include every one else which means this country was designed to be a haven for objective White Supremacy. The fact that they replaced Straight with Rich is just a misnomer used to broaden that division and you have assholes with real audiences buying into that dangerous bullsh*t, disseminating that poison to their followers. And they just drink that persecution complex kool-aid, up. It’s f*cking absurd.

The irony in all of this is the fact that the country is getting younger and browner. Statistically, by the time Gen Z’s kids come of age, we’ll outnumber White people. The margin will be slight but they’ll be the overall minority in this country and that’s why we have all of this fear-mongering and treasonous tantrums. That system the Founding Fathers built to protect their power, is falling apart. It's all a matter of time. Why do you think they're fighting so hard to keep DC and Puerto Rico from becoming actual States? I can guarantee those cats who signed the Constitution never anticipated the influx of melanated people over the years, interbreeding with their lily White sensibilities, or the homogeneity desegregation would bring to society or the way Black culture ended up shaping the entire American zeitgeist or how the Internet just blew the doors off any illusion US citizens had about our true status in the world at large. I was born in 1984. Ten years before i existed, the South was still heavily segregated. My generation, the Millennials, were the very first to be completely free from the social consequences of the Civil Rights Movement. We were far enough removed from that to just see people, not race. I was exposed to so many more cultures, religions, and people, as a kid, than my ma had been when she was young. It wasn’t like, all of a sudden, we were singing kumbaya together, but it was definitely a start, one that has only gained more and more momentum as the Generations who came after mine, started coming of age in a world whose borders are just ceremonial at this point because of the Tech age.

I met my chick and made friends across the globe in a chatroom. One of my closest friends lives in New Zealand. Another stays in Finland. My birthday twin lives in England. She’s a year older than i am and has a beautiful family. My Puerto Rican sister met her dude around the same time i met my chick. He’s from Alabama. She moved from the island to be with him and they've settled down in Georgia where they share a beautiful daughter. My best friend became so close with an Asian girl from Australia, that he adopted her as his own sister. They spoke at least twice a week for the next fifteen years, all the way up until he passed away. The world is much smaller, much clearer, than it has ever  been before, and it turns out that it’s full of color. Color these Straight White Men are, apparently, terrified of. That’s got to be it. That’s got to be why they’re throwing these big ass tantrums and constantly fear-mongering about it. I don’t understand. When Brie Larson said what she said, it was the truth. There are THOUSANDS of films about White dudes you can watch. The entirety of film history is Straight White Males. What is so bad abut getting some chicks or People of Color or some LBGTQ representation in a few leads? Why can't we have strong Black performances in movies where we don't play the “magical Negro” or f*cking Slave? Why can't we have an all Asian cast when the principals aren't constantly fetishized? What is so terrible about giving a role to a Muslim that isn't linked to some ridiculous terrorist trope? Who’s really offended by this and why are they so goddamn fervent about it? Straight White Males, bud.

It’s because their grip on the reins is slipping. The power and the privilege they’ve had for so long, too long, is started to tip in the other direction. The playing field is, ever so slowly, evening out and these Straight White Males are losing their sh*t. They’ll talk about “being racist against white people” and “it's fine to interview everyone but hire cats who are qualified” with one breath but then absolutely savage voting rights directly focused on crippling the Black vote and desperately cling to the idea that 45 still deserves to be president, even though a steady stream of his criminal incompetence has been flowing out of the the White House since he’s left. The level cognitive dissonance is f*cking hilarious. It’s as bad as the GOP complaining about “cancel culture” while literally silencing Liz Cheney. Are you f*cking kidding me? I gotta sit here and listen to a very vocal minority complain about the direction of the MCU because they’ve decided to add a plethora of female and POC roles going forward into Phase Four. They keep asking “who's this for?” and it's obvious it's for everyone, not just Straight White Males. That, to them, means it's going to be bad. Just because the focus has shifted from three White dudes in leading roles, suddenly the MCU has lost it's way. It’s like, all of a sudden, just because the MCU wants to represent their audience as a whole, not just a narrow and shrinking part of it, we’re not supposed to trust in Feige anymore. Are you kidding me? The Green Knight is slated to be another massive hit for A24. The cat who wrote that film was bounced from studio to studio because he created that story specifically as a vehicle for Dev Patel and no major studio wanted to make it with him in the lead. Dev Patel is a f*cking Oscar winner and a brilliant actor but this movie, draped in surreal and beautiful imagery, driven by a visceral, bloody, focus, wasn’t going to get made because the lead this plot was specifically written for, happens to be brown. But Straight White Males are the ones being silenced? Okay, bud.

Joe Rogen is a symptom of a greater problem and it’s the problem of White Fragility. White Fragility fuels the worst of our society. It's the genesis of racism and bigotry. It drives Nationalism and is fertile ground for cults of personality which blossom into whole ass dictatorships. These motherf*ckers are in they’re feelings and will burn this country to the ground if it means they will stop getting their way. Brie Larson calls out the ridiculousness of the race bias in Hollywood? They attack. Arizona flips Blue because Indigenous people and Black folks come out to vote in droves? Voter fraud and four recounts, one months after the election has been called and Biden has already taken office. Jordan Peele says, out loud, to the entire country, that he’s not interested in telling stories with White people in the lead? Shadow banned from Hollywood. Dude was the toast of Hollywood after Get Out and Us. He said what he said and cat's been trapped behind the camera as a Producer ever since. It’s nuts because these people complaining about how hard it is to be and how unfair the current social climate is to Straight White Males, have called Twatter NPCs whiny, SJW, children, for years. Bro,you’re the same, just racist! You are the Trump to their Obama. You are the thermodynamic reaction to their Civil action. You assholes are arguing the same merit, just on the opposite ends of the spectrum so, if they’re whiny assholes, wouldn’t you have to be, too? The only difference is that the Twatter assholes have a zeal for inclusion while you Rogen Bros have a penchant for White Supremacy and, given the choice, I'd have to agree with the Blue Checkmarks in this regard.

Straight White Males have had the run of this country since before it was a country and look what they’ve done with it. Look where we are, right now, in the year of our lord, 2021. This is as far as we have come under their stewardship. It’s time for a new captain, i think. Sorry if that hard truth hurts your feelings. Now please steer us away from those very obvious rocks. I’d rather not violently crash into that reef and sink into a watery grave before we can get our hands on the wheel to right this ship, all because you assholes are in your feelings, thank you.

[bapydemonprincess]

Can you tell us more about reaper ambrose? (I am sorry if the question isn't specific I am bad with asking questions)

AWW YOU!! QwQ Thank you so much for asking! 💖💖💖💖 I love my poor tragic boy!!!

TRIGGER WARNING: Descriptions of a character committing suicide.

I got very very curious early on about Ambrose getting so desperate to get supernatural powers he’d try becoming a reaper. I held off for a long time due to my focus being on I guess.. “canon Ambrose” getting a demon of his own as a boyfriend eventually! And I do love love LOVE those two SO much!! 🖤🖤🖤 But my mind still kept wandering back to this concept, and I just didn’t know HOW it would happen... I can’t remember when or what triggered the idea, but mainly I knew the biggest issue Ambrose had to prevent him from trying THIS out was his mother being capable of uncovering what the fuck he was doing the second he’d dare anything... So he’d need something to keep Sebastian from REACHING him.

Once he was full on in the mindset, and determined to get this done, Ambrose came across a nearby town... where a very old church was. Every day he’d come around, hovering, seeing the times it was in service, seeing how many went to it, and when they all left...

Finally, in a very quiet part of the night, sometime past 3, Ambrose slipped into that church himself, along with what he knew would be the best way. Fast, if done right. And Ambrose had certainly studied for a while on how to do everything right. 

He even set some wards down too around the area. Much less obvious than the church itself such a salt, and sage and thyme plants. As well as a few drawn runes he knew to be useful and real, from some tomes he’d been given by his dear aunt Hannah.

He then set up a chair, and started tackling the rope he would be using.

He knew there were many possibilities of this failing, as he assumed such tactics always had a 50% chance of going wrong, at least. But... he had to try. This was his only chance.

As he tightened the rope firmly around his neck, Ambrose took his last deep breaths, before stepping off the chair and letting gravity do its job.

It indeed worked fast. Faster than even he would expect from such a tactic. But as he lost the ability to properly breathe, felt everything go black, and nothingness embrace him just like when one suddenly falls asleep, his last thought was likely a muddy brief comment like “finally.”

Of course, this lead to a strange scene the next morning, of a man in a black suit pacing and hovering around the church, looking increasingly disgruntled. No one had ever seen this man around here before...

The priest came out, to address him.

“May I help you sir?”

“Yes, I know this may seem out of the blue, but please.. check your attic.” The man seemed to stand tense and yet vibrating with some held back emotion, deep chocolate eyes looking watery as well. His chest rose and fell frantically.

The priest, of course, stood there a few seconds, confused. But having a feeling deep down that this was not a matter to be taken lightly.

“Alright, I’ll go see. Please wait here.” The man responded finally, hand held up, as if instinctively trying to sooth though he had no idea why. Not yet.

Within the next half hour, the small town old church became a very riotous location, as a young man was found, having hung himself in the church attic, and surrounded for some reason by salt and plants. The body was brought down, and the people inside went into an uproar, but the priest did not stop to put the poor young man’s body somewhere inside, he dutifully and almost mechanically walked back out, coming back out to the man in the black suit, who automatically erupted with sobs and shot forward to take up the boy’s body.

The priest then noticed another new person nearby. A man who distinctly looked Eastern Indian, and clearly had a connection with the other man. He rushed forward as well, to embrace the other, tears also already streaming down his face.

Despite their emotional state, the taller man looked to the priest, and nodded gratefully. “Thank you,” he choked out, “thank you for finding him.”

The priest then automatically offered them help in getting him to a hospital, but they denied, trying to get away from the scene as fast as possible. The priest was left with many confused, concerned and hysterical church goers, and could only stand there, briefly pray that the couple got through their grief safely, and tried to go back to his audience to calm everyone.

Over the next weeks the Michaelis family was quite hysterical, specifically Sebastian and Aarushi themselves, becoming unstable and trying to find some way to get Ambrose back. Sebastian, of course, being so stubborn and well.. block headed that he tried going to the reaper realm himself.

Of course this lead to Miss Grelle Sutcliff rescuing his dumb ass from getting skewered by death scythes.

But the bleak madness didn’t end there. Sebastian resorted to requesting Hannah, the powerful matriarch demoness and Grelle herself to doing whatever they could to get in contact with Ambrose, to find SOME way, even if he was now permanently a reaper, to get him back home.

Hannah... refused. She tried calmly explaining to Sebastian that it was out of everyone’s hands, including hers. If Ambrose chose this, then it was up to him on what he did next. He was a full grown adult now technically after all.

And as much as Grelle did seem level headed too about this, deep down she was in fact rather upset, and that feeling came out over the next few days as the reaper went to work herself and really got to see how things were on that side.

Ambrose was being handled like any other new recruit. At least it seemed like it. However, as many many reapers now knew of the famous demon from England Sebastian Michaelis, and somehow word had gotten out at some point that this was his son, the level of normalcy handling this particular new recruit was quickly lowered to vague stink eyes and thin lips, others keeping their distance as if this young man would lash out.

And of course, the older reapers like Mr. Spears were not really helping, considering he certainly had no soft spot for that demon nor any offspring of his.

Eventually, with Ronald Knox’s help, Grelle managed to get a moment alone with the familiar gloomy boy.

They had never been as close as Ambrose had been to Grelle’s wife; “Aunt Hannah”. But as Ambrose grew up, his maturity showed as he had learned to show her respect, seeming to.. understand where she came from with her own mental issues and suffering. Not to mention on occasion the two had gotten into fun little battles. Chainsaw vs rapier. It helped the youth get out the extra bit of aggression and anger he’d had no where else to put.

But this little reunion only ended up being a shouting match, as well as almost getting a bit too physical as Grelle found herself grabbing the boy by his crisp new white shirt lapels and asking him basically if he knew “how much he’d just screwed himself over.” And also “how dare he do this to his family, his older sibling precious Aarushi, his poor sweet dad Agni, and his long suffering mother Sebastian!”

This only ended with Ambrose locking up, face going neutral, newly emerald eyes going dull.

He wouldn’t take this, even if it was from his “Aunt”.

....

Time goes by. I really am not sure what kind of scythe to give Ambrose eventually, I feel that will be like the LAST thing I figure out as its one of the most difficult orz;;; As well as, on a lesser scale, his glasses. But I assume they’d just be basic black rectangle ones. A bit on the thin side.

And then eventually he gets picked on for his long-- and now getting messy from not being taken care of --white hair. Some are horrible insults, some warnings that are pretty valid about going out and reaping souls and making sure his hair isn’t in the way.

Eventually Ambrose resigns to wearing it up in a basic hair band. Nothing really special. He just.. doesn’t care.

He hasn’t been getting sleep. Which reapers apparently still need, and yet some tell him its pretty normal. Eventually he’ll learn to adapt. But for now, there are dark bags under his eyes...seeming permanently situated.

Finally, after what seems like a full year of this reaper business, Ambrose has another visitor.

His mind whirs with who. A human he knows like his dad somehow coming over? HE BETTER NOT BE A REAPER TOO. Or... or mum... No, he knows mum already tried. He KNOWS mum would fail every time, either by getting skewered by scythes or dragged away by someone who cares about the demon actually living.

It turns out to be Hannah.

And Ambrose... doesn’t know what to think. The first possible thing is.. is... HOW?? But then he remembers: VERY POWERFUL OLD MATRIARCH DEMON, so maybe it isn’t so strange for certain highly ranked demons to contact grim reapers???

But now the familiar voice of his aunt his speaking, addressing him in that quiet, deep voice he hasn’t heard in Gods know how long...

And the surge of emotional turmoil finally rears its ugly head, after so long being docile. He wants to break down sobbing. But there is a part of him fighting frantically to keep a serious, empty face on.

But then he sees. He finally notices...

Hannah Annafellows is crying.

Tears stream down her dark skin while she still smiles welcomingly to him. But her lips are trembling, and now he notices her hands in front of her, clasped together, are shaking as well. She is still in control, but also letting her sorrow and happiness show.

"I didn't think it was as terrible as Grelle made it out to be, and yet..." She chokes out, and then bites back from saying any more for a moment.

Ambrose wonders if.. she means the situation in general.. or his appearance, or...

“You.. You are so burdened with sadness. So much heavy sadness it covers you like a casing. And you are clearly torn up. And... and... oh, my little corvus...” She gets out, and her head slowly shakes a bit.

And now Ambrose is shattering. Why.. why does she have to explain? Why does she have to--

“You are trying...even now.. to hold on. I know this. But... you feel... deep down as if you’ve made a horrible mistake.”

Hannah’s voice went rapidly to a whisper at this. A fast, frantic whisper. As if she only had so much time now to get this out.

“And indeed, it is something irreversible, Ambrose. No power on Earth, nor any other realm can truly reverse death. Many have tried. For millions of years many have tried to. And keep trying to. I know this.”

Ambrose’s mouth started to part, but his aunt continued.

“But it was not a mistake you have made, Ambrose.... It will never be a mistake.”

The boy’s eyes widened, as Hannah shook her head again, and still smiled.

“It was simply an action you felt you needed to take at the time.... That is all. It was human nature. It always has been. And never a mistake. Not by someone like you, little one. Never someone like--”

“S-STOP IT! STOP IT HANNAH!” The boy suddenly screams. Then, quieter, with a cracked tone. “Stop... please.. stop.”

And now he’s just standing there, wiping tears and snot from his face after taking off his glasses, on the back of his jacket sleeve.

Hannah quietly steps closer then. Closer, and closer, as the boy hunches in...

And finally encircles him in her arms.

Hannah continues weeping too. They both do. While she practically tries to hold him as close as she can, without full on scooping him up like a babe once more. She rocks though. Rocking them both in place while she speaks soothing things now in demon. Her voice slower, and calmer. And her tone gentle and musical with the language of Hell that Ambrose knows himself so well...

He grew up with this. Many times he had to be soothed by songs and gentle words. Not only by Hannah, but...

Another sob wracks the boy.

He misses Mum. He misses mum. He can’t see mum. He CAN’T. But he misses mum...

He’s mumbling this outloud, brokenly.

....

Eventually things do calm. Eventually they can sit and talk lightly a bit.

And eventually Hannah also decided to grab a brush from thin air and brush the boy’s unruly long hair....

It’s a bit out of the blue... but it is another soothing act.

And when Hannah seems satisfied, instead of letting the boy return the simple hair band to it, she produces a pure black ribbon from thin air, and ties up his hair in that. 

I got the idea for that with this picrew letting me put Ambrose’s hair in a ponytail with a black bow.

.........

Sooooo that’s mostly all I have for now on Reaper Ambrose!!! I.. feel bad about all the angst, I really do, but I love exploring this different take all the same! I hope you liked it too, dear!! 🖤🖤🖤 Thank you again for the ask!!! >w<

[clunelover]

There’s such a weird feeling of disconnect for me re: Covid. Reading anything in the news is terrifying or rage inducing or both, but then for me personally life is going pretty well. I actually don’t go around feeling anxious much of the time. And I’m cool with not going anywhere. My psychiatrist says this isn’t unusual for people with certain presentations of mental illness.

I’ve not spoken of what all we’re doing with the kids because I’ve been afraid of being judged for being too cavalier about safety. But this is a big part of why things are okay - in the beginning we thought Calvin’s daycare would be closed and I had him and Edie home with me in between leaving bad job and starting new job. That was a mixed time - it was cool to be with them so much and take them to walk around state parks. But Calvin also had terrifying nightmare tantrums, banging his head on floor/wall and screaming “I wanna hurt myself!!” And it was winter so there was a feeling of being trapped. Once I started my new job I was like “oh this can’t work in any way” - calvin had an uncanny sense of when we were both in meetings and would then run to go get into something dangerous. I mean I guess that’s not uncanny...boy wanted his attention!

So not long into new job I asked daycare when they would reopen and they said “oh we never closed” (they are small, which must help). So we started sending him. His mood and demeanor was night and day. We felt guilty and scared at first but don’t anymore. Everyone over 3 wears masks (so not him yet but omg about to be). There are like four kids there and one teacher.

For Edie, virtual school was rough. I know I did mention that. We would kind of tag team and basically each spend maybe an hour with her each day. And make her food. So for maybe 4ish hours she was kind of on her own? It sucked and she said she felt “scared and lonely” in the living room playing or doing school by herself. But we both have high focus, tight deadline sort of jobs, and in my case I wanted to impress because new job...and then Jeremy does live customer demos and implementation and stuff that requires him to be in meetings a ton. Sometimes almost all day.

So anyway, when we heard that our local rec community that runs a lot of the summer camps was going to have a limited version of camp with far fewer participants, only 1st-5th grades, split into small groups blah blah...we sent her. It’s over now but she loved it, we loved it, and she had no problem wearing a mask all day.

So then fall, virtual school again...id been freaking out because we are now fully used to having both kids out of the house...but then daycare told us they’re going to run a thing where they can put up to eight kids in one of their classroom areas and have a teacher dedicated to helping them with their online school. So, yeah we are going to do that. I definitely have a lot of friends who are doing no such thing and probably think I’m awful. I have noted to myself however that those are mostly people with...different sort of jobs than we have. Or where one is a SAHP.

I do feel very privileged. And kind of guilty when I hear about a lot of my friends kids regressing in freaky ways, like Calvin was doing before back to daycare. And I know I need to brace myself for the possibility that daycare will end up having to close if things get worse.

In any case it feels good to say this here - I did feel weird not mentioning it.

[gosatsuvns]

Weekly Update Compilation

Just realized that I kinda neglected the weekly updates here on Tumblr (sorry about that!), so I'll compile the last few right here:

Weekly Update #328: CG & BGM Progress

This past week, I've focused on drawing the "dead body" CG for GENBA no Kizuna, which is quite an undertaking to say the least. I've made a lot of progress on it, but there's still some work left to be done. It took me quite a while to figure out the exact perspective and angle. Thankfully, being married has its perks, so I got Kuna to take a bunch of reference pictures of me while I was lying on the floor, pretending to be dead, haha. That definitely helped tremendously.

Still, the details are going to give me another headache for sure. We're talking about a guy who got eaten by a T-Rex after all, so there's a lot going on in terms of, well... damage.

Anyway, every now and then, I've also continued working on the outline for Withering Without Hope. And speaking of which, I have just released a new Patreon post, delving into the topic of how Broken Beyond Despair sets up and dictates the direction for its sequel.

If you're curious about the changes I felt were necessary in our recent anniversary update, be sure to check it out!

Next week, I'm planning to make another post talking about the time in between BBD and WWH and what exactly happens there. There is quite a gap between October 30 and December 23 after all...

Now, in other news, I've been working with Solo, our composer, on a new BGM track for GENBA. I've already received a first preview of it and it sounds amazing! Can't wait to hear the full version and share it. This time, we're tackling another investigation theme, specifically for the segments you will play as Rei.

That kinda wraps up this week's progress report. I'll get back to working on that CG now, so please enjoy the rest of your weekend and, until next Saturday, take care! :3

Weekly Update #327: BGs, CGs, Sprites & WWH

After a bit more BG work, I have finally finished a variation for the 1st Floor Main Hall and one for the 2nd Floor Main Hall. That now only leaves one more variation of the 1st floor and all the necessary BGs for the first three chapters of GENBA are done! Hopefully, I can get to that soon, but first of all, I've decided to tackle the "dead body" CG instead, as it is kinda tied to that BG.

Basically, after recovering the body from the Rex jaws, it will be spread out in the main hall and you will be able to catch a glimpse of it on the missing variation of the 1st floor background. At least that's the plan, but I think drawing the CG first will better help me understand what exactly and how much needs to be visible on said BG.

The CG is kind of intimidating to think about, as it is going to be the most difficult to draw by far. As a result, I've been pushing it off for a while now, but I figured, if I get it out of the way now, that'll be a big relief, haha. I've actually started working on it a while ago, doing some initial sketches. You will see almost the entire body lying on the floor. It's going to be an interactive CG too, meaning that players will be able to click all over the body in order to examine it. As you can imagine, it's going to be a very crucial asset towards solving the mystery death at the Kaseki residence, so it will require a lot of attention to detail.

My goal is to finish it by the end of the month, so I have just about a week left, which will hopefully be enough!

Outside of finishing those BG variations and getting back into the body CG, I've been working on some more sprite variations for Keiichi and Amber. Unfortunately, I kinda suffered a setback of sorts by accidentally deleting one of Amber's new sprites "orz Thankfully, I still had the low quality preview I posted on Patreon, so I was able to restore it, even if that was kind of an annoying and rather frustrating occurrence...

I have to doublecheck with the script, but this might be it in terms of sprites for the first chapter, too. In the end, Keiichi only got one new one, depicting him with a somewhat worried expression:

Now, one other thing I've been working on is Withering Without Hope. With the Christmas season drawing near, I'm really getting into the mood for it, so I've been working on the outline for the first chapter. I'd like to continue working on this on the side and hopefully finish at least the entire first chapter outline before the end of the year. The goal here is to have the full script for the game done by the time GENBA will be released.

If you're a patron, you should keep your eyes open, as I'm also going to share some behind-the-scenes info for WWH soon! Been wanting to do that for a while now and just haven't gotten around to it...

Anyway, guess that about wraps it up for today so, please enjoy the rest of your weekend and, until next Saturday, take care! :3

Weekly Update #326: GENBA Background Progress

Alright, after a bit more work, I have finally finished the background for the second floor of the main hall and, along with it, adjusted the other two main hall BGs. If you want to learn more about my struggles with these, be sure to check out last week's blog post where I talk a little about visual consistency. I've also made a post on my private Twitter, showcasing the differences between the old and the new version of the first floor main hall. As for the second floor, here's another preview for that one as well:

Now, what's left are the variations of these two BGs, which I've also worked on. One variation for each of them is almost done as well, just missing one last detail which I'll take care of tomorrow. That will leave only one more variation for the first floor background, which will display a couple more pieces of evidence. As mentioned last week, once these are done, we're gonna be good on backgrounds for a while. That's because the second chapter will not need any new BGs, as no new locations inside the residence will be visited. As for chapter 3, the mid-point case discussion... that one will take place entirely in the exhibition room featured at the end of our demo. So no new BGs for that one either!

Well, I did mention before that I'm playing with the idea of making one more simple BG for said exhibition room. Since the cast will spent quite a while there, discussing the mysteries (think of the dining hall in SHINRAI), it would probably be nice to get some visual variety. However, as I don't deem this to be an "essential background", it's a bit lower on my priority list. For now, I just want to focus on the assets that are absolutely necessary to tell the story. And when we talk about "essential" backgrounds, there are actually only four left now: the wash room, the back corridor, the backyard and one of the suspect rooms.

Before I get to any of those, I'm still aiming to finish all the assets for the first chapter, though. Which (BG variations aside) now only leaves a couple of sprite variations and two CGs. One of those is going to be very elaborate, though, so it will probably take me a while to get it done. I'll most likely work on it next month and, for the rest of November, take care of the sprites and script revisions.

Anyway, that about sums up the current progress. Time to get back to work, so please enjoy the rest of your weekend and, until next Saturday, take care! :3

[vios-rockland-corner]

Rockland: The balance of good and evil

The date of this post is 3/27/20.  Please note that information revealed at this time via Patreon or any of the creator’s blogs may be subject to change after this date

I’ve been debating lately on how dangerous the Rockland universe is.  Lately it seems like there’s been more focus on the horror, so things start to look bleaker by the minute.  I was wondering if Rockland is primarily ruled by more evil forces and characters, but there may actually be some shred of light in this world.

I feel it’s best if I try to tackle this by looking at a few of the major groups I’m aware exist in this universe.

Let’s try examining alignments and see where we go from there with just a few (not all) of the main groups that exist in Rockland.

The Misfits

Alignment: Evil

Just based on the Misfits: First Blood demo and everything else we’ve seen and heard, I think it’s safe to say that the Misfits should generally be considered one of the more sinister elements of Rockland.  Now we haven’t seen all the characters yet, so characters here may indeed range between how evil one character is versus another.  Even the Misfits you meet in the demo game mention they do normal stuff from time to time.  They just have a propensity for murder.  Murder is a “no no” though, so I’m still classifying them as bad guys.  We’ve yet to see how big the group is, so how much of a hold they have over the town/city they live in is an unknown factor.  This group could either an occasional problem for society, or a much more serious danger.

The Professionals

Alignment: Evil

We have some names and faces now, but we definitely lack far more information on the Professionals than we do the Misfits.  Still, considering these characters have some confirmed blood ties with the Misfits, and even dialogue in the demo confirming that murder basically runs in the family, it’s probably safe to assume this group is just as dangerous as the Misfits.  In fact, they are possibly even more dangerous.  I went through some ideas in a previous post on the dangers the group could hold in society and how these familial connections mean you better watch out who you make an enemy of in Rockland.  I also touch on how this group may end up being the reason why so many of the human characters get away with murder.  Especially if it’s through the generations.  Same with the Misfits though, not sure how many characters make up the Professionals.  Numbers and positions in society would determine the overall threat they pose.

Fallen Angels

Alignment: Neutral?

After we get some games out on the Misfits, we’re probably going to head back into the focus on Zeitgeist (Cain’s remake game).  It sounds like we’ll get a lot of lore in said game and better learn about the Fallen Angels themselves.  Now, I’m not 100% sure on the alignment here, but I’m taking a stab to consider that the Fallen Angels are part of the natural order.  They have specific jobs to do relating to the mortal world, so that’s their main focus.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the reason they’re likely not going to swoop in and save people from characters they’d likely punish in the afterlife (like the Misfits or Professionals) is because they simply aren’t allowed to, or aren’t that invested in every single small infraction made by mortals.  I mean, if you live for thousands of years, you may not be that interested in solving every single little problem that occurs.  

Now...specific angels may fall into different alignment categories.  Sam Volkov my current guess is that he’d be something like Lawful Neutral.  I think he’s still a reaper in this universe, and when it comes to death everyone is pretty much equal (good, bad, young, old, you get the idea).  He can be a friendly character though from what we’ve seen in the Zeitgeist demo.  Another fallen angel I’m aware of that we haven’t seen yet (he WAS referred to though in the Zeitgeist demo) is Michael Volkov.  Now I have no confirmation on what his current role is, but in the past he was basically the fallen angel of war and chaos.  He wasn’t necessarily a character you wanted to run into either.  Now if he still has that role...he can TECHNICALLY still be neutral.  If it’s based on the natural order, sometimes you need entropy and conflict in the universe.  If it’s his job and he happens to enjoy it, *shrugs* we may just consider him chaotic neutral in this case.  Cain Zeitgeist is....well we have so many spoilers but this fellow makes me keep changing my mind as to what he’s about.  For now my guess is he’ll either be true neutral or chaotic neutral.  He still keeps me on my toes, but he may not be as bad as his previous incarnation.  

Then we have someone like Damien Morningstar.  In previous lore, he was both against Cain and honestly his father’s work in general.  Cain may be changing but I think....Damien in the Rockland universe is not only still going to be a priest, but also still hates his dad Luke (aka Lucifer).  So he may not stand for the same beliefs as all the other angels.  If he resembles some of his older incarnation, he could be one of the few angels who actively works in the mortal world to assist humans as much as he can.  Still not a lot of information yet, so I can’t be sure if he’s still neutral or if he jumps up into a good alignment.

Mark of Belial Main Cast

Alignment: Good

Much longer down the road, the creators want to work on a set of detective games known as the Mark of Belial (or at least that’s what the first game would be called).  In those games, you actually will be working to find a killer.  So naturally, you’re working with a specific police precinct to catch the perpetrator.  I think that blatantly tells us we’ll be working with the good guys for once.  Only way I could see the main cast here as a bad alignment is if we get the rug pulled out from under us and find out ALL the characters and division are corrupt, haha.  Not an impossibility, but I don’t think that’s the plan.  The original concept I believe was an all human cast, so I’m going to keep up with that assumption here.  So unlike the Fallen Angels who (mostly) probably keep their nose out of most mortal affairs unless it’s job related, this would be a group of human characters actively working towards the safety of the citizens.  So yay, finally some hope in all this!  This tells me not all the characters in Rockland will place their tail between their legs and bow to characters like the Misfits or the Professionals.  There may be SOME cowardly or corrupt members of the police/detective division you work with, but I believe the games WILL be geared towards trying to catch the culprit.  You do stand a fighting chance.

The Hand of God

Alignment: Good?

Another group without a lot of information, but the name gets thrown around here and there.  Now if the characters of the Mark of Belial Cast are all human, they will most likely end up dealing with (and being more competent with) human affairs.  The Hand of God we’ve gotten hints that they are more aware of some of the more supernatural elements of Rockland, including the Fallen Angels.  That means they KNOW stuff, which is a big help to keeping citizens safe.  The creators have said they are aware of the dangers some of these supernatural entities or characters pose.  I’m making the assumption for now that this group is actually made up of good guys trying to quietly keep the peace from behind the scenes.  While normal citizens are busy fearing disappearances or murders that are committed by human characters like the Misfits and the Professionals, the Hand of God is likely being kept busy by “bigger fish to fry.”  Not to say that humans can’t be extremely dangerous (either via a violent nature or a dangerous intellect), but between a human serial killer and a supernatural one, I’m placing my bets that the supernatural killer is much more of a threat.  Also, the reveal of certain supernatural elements to the public might cause a mass panic.  So I think the Hand of God group will be working for the greater good, but it’s very possible that they’ll have only so much time and resources to spend on dealing with the more dangerous elements or Rockland.  The police and detectives will just have to be left in charge of taking care of the more sinister human characters in Rockland.

I have to say...I feel a little better.  Yes, the more evil characters and elements of Rockland are likely still going to be EXTREMELY problematic.  They probably have ways not only to survive and avoid judgement, but to continue their heinous deeds as they please.  I wouldn’t have it any other way because it’s more fun and interesting when you have villains capable enough of committing evil deeds and getting away with it.  They won’t be a joke.  BUT, it does seem like not every character we meet in the Rockland games is going to be against us.  Sure, we may not know right away which characters we can trust or not, but it looks like there will be some who mean you no harm or even want to keep you safe.  It’s just a matter of which opponents the good guys are up against, and if they are in the right place at the right time to save the day.

You know what’ll be fun to see though?  I’m sure several of these groups are going to end up intermingling with each other at one point or another.  What each party is aware of about the other when they meet is also interesting.  For example, if you’re doing police/detective work in the Mark of Belial games, you might have to go check a dead body or two for clues.  Said dead bodies may be currently kept in a funeral home they’ve recently arrived at.  That means we literally have some strong potential of getting at least cameos of the Willow family (which consists of Misfits and Professionals characters) in the MOB games.  Now wouldn’t that be fun?  You have to talk obliviously to literal murderers while you’re hunting for a murderer.  I wonder how characters like Quill and Alchemy would view the case.  I always imagined with the MOB games though that they’ll make a brand new character to be the main killer for those.  Who knows though?  Maybe you find out the killer IS a pre-existing character.  Maybe even one who’s usually “immune” when they commit crime.  Could end up being quite a pickle.

Also I have a weird feeling Quill will just go out of way to be super creepy to the detectives when they visit.  Just a feeling, haha.

Will be fun to clashing sides, though it may be quite a while before we get to that kind of content.

[arquiteto21-blog]

How To Select A Contractor For Your Architectural Project And What NOT To Do

I'm sure you've heard the age-old conflict of the architect and contractor not getting along. Today's society is moving towards interdisciplinary occupations, and people are getting increasingly better at working together, gradually alleviating this conflict. More design/build companies (where the contractors and architects are both working for the same company) have begun to emerge, but not all of the perceived benefits are actually beneficial. One common claim made by design build companies is that architects don't know how to build, and having in-house contractors alleviates the many issues that arise as a result. First, we have the very obvious rebuttal that you can't paint the entire profession with a broad brush stroke. Do I need to remind you to select an architect with actual experience? No? Good. Second, if you were to momentarily entertain that all architects don't know how things go together, the claim that contractors are coming to the rescue would be the case, regardless of whether the two occupations are part of one company or separate companies. I've known both architects and contractors who've owned design/build companies that went back to their respective corners. WHY? They couldn't do both the architecture and construction well, AND be profitable at the same time. Key point here: paying attention? The fact is, in our rapidly changing world, it is difficult enough to be good at one type of business, let alone two. When you have the added burden of concerning yourself with both occupations AND being profitable, the client will always lose. It is an inherent conflict of interest. Part of our duty as your architect is to protect your interests. We are your advocate and produce a contract set of documents (your construction drawings are actually appropriately called "contract documents") to depict your wishes, with which you agree on a price with a contractor. If the person writing your contract and the person executing it are under one roof, it would be like allowing your insurance company to determine which medicine you take... Oh wait... they do. I love that. Don't you?

A good contractor is worth his or her weight in gold. It takes years of experience and a creative, yet pragmatic thinker, to foresee challenges coming down the pipeline, and act accordingly amongst the many trades and details involved. I have the utmost respect for good contractors and enjoy working with them. When selecting a contractor, you should call around and chat briefly with as many as you can to get a feel for their personality and the world in which you are about to embark. I'm sure you've found some random articles online like, "The 5 questions you need to ask contractors", or "The 3 things you need to look out for when selecting a contractor". If not, you should go find some, as there are millions of them, and most of them are helpful. I want to focus on something else here. his explanation Projetos de Arquitetura

There are a wide range of contractors who will provide you with a lovely array of estimates for the same amount of work, and you need to know how to make sense of it all. Take a step back and look at the big picture. You have your low, medium and high contractors to choose from. You need to begin by asking yourself what level of service you are expecting. If you want super creative, unique, custom details, built with the highest level of craftsmanship, don't expect the low to medium priced contractors to do it. I'm guessing many of them could, if given unlimited time and budget, but their low or medium priced estimate indicates that isn't what they are planning for your project. If you are just looking for a straightforward and comfortable home requiring less specialized talents, then maybe you do want to work with a contractor who costs less, but consider the following. Most contractors purchase their materials from the same places and use similar sub-contractors that, in order to be competitive, need to charge competitive (i.e. similar) rates. As a result, many times the reason Contractor A's estimate is so much lower than Contractor B's and C's isn't because they have the inside track on super cheap labor and materials, right? And even if they did, my guess is they would still charge you the going rate and keep the profit for themselves. Granted, I'm sure some people are better at working at a more rapid pace than others, but most likely it will take the same amount of time to frame your kitchen regardless of who does it. Taking all of that into consideration, it becomes clear that your project is going to cost a certain price regardless of who does it. The differences is whether you will know about the additional costs ahead of time (in a detailed estimate) or after the fact (via change orders). I am not implying that low-cost contractors are being dishonest. They are human. Everyone likes to tell people what they want to hear, and everyone likes to make a profit.

However, if you are a numbers kind of person, one of the only black and white figures you can easily compare is how much each contractor marks up his or her products and services. I've seen percentages ranging from 10-20%, and you can typically find this in a lump sum clearly spelled out at the end of the estimate. Outside of that, the demo still needs to be hauled away, the finishes still need to be added, and the building still needs to be enclosed. If one bid includes demo but doesn't include the hauling and dump fees, creating a visibly cheaper estimate, do you think that the contractor is just going to flip the bill for that out of his or her own good will? No, you will. Surprise! Don't select your contractor based on who has the lowest bid, as many times all it means is that it is lacking things the other contractors have included.

Contemplate these ideas instead.

• Ask him or her the "5 questions" that you found online and make sure your personalities match.

• Ask yourself if you felt like your concerns were being heard during your meeting.

• How responsive are they?

• CHECK REFERENCES! I hope I don't have to beat this key point to death for you to understand how incredibly important it is.

• Was the estimate provided in a timely manner? 2 weeks is average, 3 is the max unless it is a really complicated project.

• Is the estimate easy to read? Why is this important? This is what your invoices are going to look like. Is it organized? Can you understand it?

• You must, without exception, sign off in writing on all changes to the contract documents PRIOR to the work being done. Ask if this is standard practice for them, and if it isn't, let them know this is a deal breaker for you.

• Although I recommend initially chatting with many contractors, I would only ask 2 or 3 for estimates. Any good contractor will take a lot of time to put together a detailed estimate, and any more than 3, in my opinion, isn't necessary to get an accurate feel for the cost of your project. Respect their time, and give them a fair shot at being awarded the contract.

[today-we-will-survive]

Spectrum: Preview

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Soulmate!AU, Punk!AU, College!AU, romance, angst

Warnings: none

Word count: 1.7K

A/N: This is a preview for the second fic in my “Punk Soulmate Collection”

I’m sorry you’re having a bad day, you think as you gently stroke the currently blue colored tattoo encircling your left ring finger. It’s been changing colors all day, staying within the blue and purple hued spectrum signifying that your soulmate—whoever they are, wherever they are—has been going between feeling bad and worse. You noticed it that morning when you woke up. That’s always the second thing you do when you open your eyes. Turn off your alarm, check your ring. Usually it’s somewhere in the red to green range meaning they’re in a good mood—or at least neutral, but not this morning. It seems to have started off a melancholy teal and gotten more purple from there, now tinted a bold indigo.

What’s going on? You wonder and pull your bottom lip into your mouth, your manicured brows furrowing a bit with concern.

The sound of your name being called has you jerking your head up off your desk, eyes shooting to the front of the room as everyone else’s focus on you.

“You still with me?” your professor asks and you feel your cheeks heat up as you slink lower in your chair, nodding your head just slightly enough to get him to continue his lecture.

Thankfully he does and you breathe a sigh of relief when you feel the dozens of other eyes fall away again. Sit up, pay attention, you think and straighten your spine so you’re sitting tall. You try to pay attention, try to listen to the lecture, but you can’t help the little inkling gnawing at the back of your brain and you glance down again at your tattoo. It’s turned a deep violet and you feel your heart sink. What’s going on?

Your apartment on the top floor is outfitted with the plush trappings of the most luxurious kind. Only the best for the princess of the Upper East Side. At least that’s what you overheard the movers say as they carried each carefully wrapped piece of furniture and decor up the weekend before you were to start your second year of college. Your mother was aghast when she heard that freshmen were required to live in the dorms on school grounds—even though you were given one of the more well kept rooms in the best building. You’d tried to tell her it was fine and even went so far as to admit that you were excited to have a normal college kid experience, but of course, she wanted none of that, whisking you out to go apartment shopping the minute the last semester ended and then having it renovated and curated to her liking for the extent of the summer.

Now you’re well into fall quarter, doing homework at a marble and oak desk in this grand study in a ridiculously huge, extravagant apartment and you’ve never felt lonelier in your life. Your mother insisted you get the whole place to yourself because, “valuable things tend to disappear and end up in dirty pawn shops when you invite others to share your home with you.” You doubt she knows this from experience but rather from the years of having it drilled into her own head that if someone doesn’t have as much money as you, they will try to take yours. That’s why she insists that you only interact with others of your stature—or rather those closest to your stature since no one is actually at your level, right mom?

So when you hear your phone vibrate and see it skitter across the marble desk top, you know without looking that it’s one of three people. Kim Seokjin, a boy that seems to like the fact that his social standing puts him miles above the rest of the students he goes to school with a little too much and someone your parents have been trying to set you up with, Min Yoongi, the only other person that seems to understand how absolutely ridiculous it is that as young people above the age of independence, your parents still somehow have complete control over every aspect of your lives, and Park Jennie, A-list socialite who throws the best parties and can get away with anything with a flash of that perfectly sweet smile, aka your best friend. And now when you pick up your phone, you’re met with that very smile. With a curl of your own lips, you hit “accept” and bring the phone to your ear.

“Hey J—”

You can’t pull your phone away from your poor ear fast enough to save it from the high pitched scream that comes hurtling at you through the speaker. For a split second you think something is horribly, horribly wrong with your friend, until the scream devolves into a fit of giggles.

“Babe!” she screeches, “You’ll never guess where I am!”

“Hopefully somewhere devoid of people since you probably just made anyone within a mile of you deaf.”

“I’m at Choi Marie’s trying on my birthday dress and it’s ah-mazing!” she continues completely ignoring your comment. “It seriously is so perfect—well, almost perfect. If I can convince daddy to let me make the neckline a little lower and the bottom hem a little higher, then it’ll be perfect.”

You can’t help but shake your head. “Of course it will, J,” you chuckle. “Every eye will be on you.”

“It better be,” she says. “I’m not shelling out this much dough just to have someone upstage me at my own party.”

“No one would dare,” you say, shutting your laptop and leaning back in your chair. Your spine makes a satisfying crack.

“Oh! That reminds me,” Jennie says. “Your dress is here to.”

Now you quickly sit forward again. “My what? J, you didn’t. I was going to wear the dress I got in Milan last spring.”

“Of course I didn’t. Daddy did, ” she says then lets out a giggle. “Besides, my best friend isn’t going to be wearing some closet vagabond garb from last season. You should come now. It’s here for you to try on.”

She doesn’t have to tell you twice. With an excited squeal, you end the call and jump up from your desk, leaving your text books and laptop strewn all over its top. You know they’ll be in a neat pile when you return but you don’t want to think about that now as you grab your purse and keys and head out of your apartment.

“J, this is too much,” you say half an hour later when you’re looking at yourself in the full-length mirror at Choi Marie’s. A sequined, powder blue dress hugs your every curve, ending midway down your calves. Jennie stands beside you playing with her own dress that would be the same as yours if not for the gold sequins, rhinestones and jewels and the fact that it’s, you know, much more…her. She hikes the hem of hers up to mid-thigh, showing off more of her porcelain legs and tilts her head in thought.

“Should I go shorter?” she asks still studying herself in the mirror.

You laugh. “You won’t have any dress left if you go shorter,” you say teasingly and Jennie sneers at your reflection. “Seriously, though, J. This is too much.” Your palms run down your stomach over the ridges of the blue/gray rhinestones. Then you catch sight of the dark band around your finger and your stomach sinks. You’d been so caught up in studying for your exams and then ogling this dress that you hadn’t noticed the band darken further from the violet it had been last time you checked.

“It’s really no big deal—” Jennie says, not noticing that you’re staring at your tattoo. “But if you really want to pay me back, there’s this Gucci choker I’ve been eying for a while and…” At last she catches on, watching you bring your hand up to your face and touch your knuckles to your lips, deep in thought.

“Moody boy at it again?” she asks though her eyes are sympathetic.

“It seems to be happening more often now,” you reply. “I wish I knew who he was or had a way to communicate with him, ya know? Just so I could try to make him feel better.”

“You have such a heart of gold, babe,” Jennie says putting her hands on your arms and giving you a squeeze. “Your boy is probably one of those hot brooding types.” Then she wiggles her own red-ringed finger. “Mine can’t seem to calm down.”

You smile in amusement. The only time your best friend’s soulmate tattoo isn’t a bright scarlet red—the happiest color—is when it’s tinged closer to green—signifying calmness—and that’s usually only in the morning and really late at night when any normal person would be sleeping.

Jennie lets out a growl as she tugs her dress up higher. “You’re gonna get James Dean and I’ll get Bozo the Clown on crack,” she mutters.

The laugh escapes before you can catch it and you slap a hand over your mouth to try to hide it but it’s no use. Jennie’s already dissolved into fits of laughter as well, clinging on to you to keep from toppling over in her four inch stilettos. The two of you look ridiculous in your sparkling dresses and heels, hair in disarray and faces red and shining with laughter. You’ve already forgotten about the dark ring encircling your finger or the meaning behind it.

The hard case of Kim Taehyung’s cell phone bites into the plaster of his dorm room wall before clattering to the carpeted floor below. He rakes his hands through his sandy blonde hair and lets out a heavy sigh, falling backward on his bed and bouncing on the mattress. Another rejection. It seems that’s all he gets nowadays. No after no after no. For once, he’d like a yes. For once he wishes he had some good news for his bandmates. That they actually get to play the venue they’ve been trying to get into for months. That the label they’ve been pursuing has actually listened to their demo and liked it. Instead it’s no. No, no and no.

Taehyung drags his hands down his face, the thick, gun-metal silver band encircling his left ring finger catching on his lip. He pulls his hands back and uses his thumb to lift the ring. A red stripe stains the skin beneath and a pang of jealousy stabs at his chest.

At least one of us is having a good time, he thinks, then slips the ring back down over the tattoo. Out of sight, out of mind.

[urflowersdied]

soft sounds from another planet

In which you get called in to help Harry’s writers block and become his new creative muse in the process.

A/N: Hello, hi, how are you? January’s been a bitch of a month for me, and even though I wanted to work on another part for Cold as Ice(d coffee), it just wasn’t happening. But I pulled myself together and wrote this 2.4k word one shot. I basically told dialogue to go fuck itself on this one, but I still hope you guys will give it a read! (Oh, also I guess this is mature-ish?)

Special thanks go out to the wifey @theasstour and writer extraordinaire @meetyourmouths for dealing with my insecurities while writing! 

Hope you enjoy!

Sophomore albums were a difficult hurdle to overcome. Harry knew that. Had been warned by everyone - from his best friend and manager Jeff to artists he had been idolising since childhood which had now become wonderful mentors to him, even his mother, who had a weird knack for pretending to be some sort of music journalist, had tried to lower the expectations he had set for himself. And he had tried to keep all of their advice in mind when he travelled to Tokyo in late December to begin the creative process, but, staying true to his overachieving self, Harry quickly fell back into old patterns of stress and anger whenever he couldn’t quite get the sounds in his head onto paper and into the microphone.

Tonight was one of those nights. The kind of night where his hair resembled a likeness of Medusa rather than Cupid, and where his roots ached from the constant tugging his own hand had performed - and not, as he would have preferred, out of pleasure. Instead, frustration had fuelled his actions. Thomas, leaning back in a swivelling chair next to him, lit the end of a joint. The previous hours had not been productive in the slightest, and the collaborator was desperately looking for a way to get his artist… relaxed. Out of the prison his own mind had created for itself.

Tom knew that the weight of huge expectation was resting on the young man’s shoulders. Not necessarily pressure induced by his record company - Harry was basically another member of the Azoff family, and anything he would create would be received with welcoming arms and exclamations of love -, but rather from critics. Fans. Friends and foes.

For every admirer Harry had gained throughout his years in the music industry - and there were a lot of them - another individual could be found that was just waiting for him to fail. Anticipating for him to create something they could turn their nose up at. At least, that’s the impression Harry often got.

Inhaling puff after puff of smoke, Tom debated his next move. He knew the guy next to him well enough to be aware of how deep he could descent into minuscule cavities in his psyche. Once he had fallen, it was difficult to pull Harry out of these depths. “Think you shouldn’t stress about it, mate. Let’s just call it a night and then… we’ll try again tomorrow. One bad day doesn’t ruin the album.”

Of course Harry knew that. He was painfully aware that, in some weird way, an artist depended on these bad, horrible, dreadful sessions to create something even more vibrant the next time around. The issue was that Harry didn’t want to rely on them. Wasn’t too fond of needing to endure these kinds of emotions and feelings to create a musical experience. He had enough experiences to draw inspiration from. Ones that were difficult to revisit, but that he knew would ultimately help him create the vocal pictures he aspired to paint - with melodies serving as the canvas and words as paint. What he didn’t thought to be necessary was the grievance of writer’s block robbing him of these crucial tools.

Massaging the corners of his eyes with his right thumb and pointer finger, Harry let out a sigh. At the very least he could agree with Tom on one thing: it was time to let this downer of a day come to an end. “Yeah… Gonna turn in, I think.” Usually he would stick around, indulge in one of his bad habits with his friend - when Harry was in a good mood weed had established itself as a great way to unwind after a productive day, but he fears today the drug would result in a rather unpleasant outcome - and maybe even catch the sunrise casting a hazy glow on Tokyo. Right now, though, he just craved the comfort his bed could provide.  

After offering some more words of encouragement, Tom whirled his chair around to watch the retreading figure of a defeated man. As soon as Harry’s hunched back was out of vision he grasped his phone and sent a little prayer out to everyone that would lend an open ear. This little plan of his needed to be set in motion, immediately. Because if he had to deal with this version of his mate for much longer he might actually get bit by the same bug that had infested Harry’s trains of thought.

You were a godsend. Harry was sure of it. Whichever lightning bolt had sparked the idea in Tom’s mind to invite one of his wife’s acquaintances - nevertheless a simple university student currently on exchange in Tokyo -, he was grateful for that weird force of nature and had even toyed with the idea of sending a grateful letter to Thor.

Because it really shouldn’t have worked. When his collaborator first introduced you to each other it had taken all of the will power Harry could muster up to refrain from scoffing. Sure, you were in the process of following a musicology program, but he knew enough professional musicians and producers that he could have contacted. His problem really didn’t lay with the array of creative minds available to him, but rather with the barricade that had erected itself within the confines of his own head.

It only took a few short days for him to realise the purpose of your presence. How the sound of one simple giggle leaving your vocal chords chipped away at the frustration his mind had been housing. How the sheer joy displayed across your face as the inner workings of the music industry and the process of creating an album were introduced to you brought fresh wind into Harry’s own perception of his career. He really was grateful to possess a quite established name at his age, even if it brought some unwanted side effects like pressure and contempt.

But your mere presence in the studio hadn’t been enough - at least not in your own eyes.

It had started with a late-night trip to a small hole-in-the-wall karaoke bar in central Tokyo. You were absolutely certain spending a few hours not worrying about his own music, but instead imitating what other songwriters had created before him and singing his “pretty little heart out” - these were obviously your words and not his - would turn out to be restorative for his soul. And Harry thinks that, yes, perhaps that could have been the case… had you not been there to shift his focus from the stage and glaring stage lights to the way your eyes seemed to droop ever so slightly as you fought the exhaustion creeping up on your. He knew that your schedule was particularly busy nowadays, not only having to focus on classes, lectures and projects but now also on this nuisance of an artist who couldn’t seem to get his shit together companionless. So, the outing was cut short - Harry opting to get you safely back to your accommodation in lieu of downing another alcoholic substance in the karaoke establishment.

Then you had felt bad for “ruining his night” - once again, these were your words as he would never get the impression that you could ruin just about anything -, organising another get-together later in the week. Harry couldn’t really claim to be an avid concert goer. He loved taking time out of his days to treat him and his friends to shows put on by icons such as Paul McCartney, Fleetwood Mac or The Eagles, but being at his level of celebrity attending other gigs was more difficult. That you would actually drag everyone to the first random concert which took place in Tokyo that night was definitely not something Harry had expected. It was of course just his luck that it happened to be some kind of EDM show, but no matter how little the thumbing bass and flashing lights interested him, keeping a watchful eye on your enjoyment left him feeling thoroughly inspired by the end of the night.

It wasn’t as though Tom or anyone else that spent time around Harry and you in Tokyo didn’t notice. No matter how slick he thought he was, heart eyes were incredibly difficult to hide. So nobody could say they were surprised in the slightest when your visits to the studio became more frequent over time. And when you started keeping him company for late night studio session after everyone else decided to call it a night, none of them bothered to do a double take. Tom hadn’t necessarily planned this outcome - Harry looking at you as though you hung the start up in the sky and you being equally as infatuated by him -, rather just thought you would be a wonderful friend to a stressed out young man and knowing you had also been in need of a friend apart from all the stress university put you under, but he would not be caught dead complaining about the situation. His collaborators creative drive was back on track, and he was looking forward to his wife thanking him for keeping an eye out for her friend when he arrived back home.

So, here you found yourself. Sitting next to Harry on the couch that was placed in the studio space to offer its inhabitants a small sense of homeliness and comfort during close-to-frustratedly-ripping-your-hair-out moments. Earlier in the evening you had helped him record a demo version of a possible album song, humming the melody quietly into a second microphone as he sang some lyrics he was quite honestly still struggling with. Now you were just casually scrolling through your various social media timelines, completely encompassed in words written by one of your friends. Harry had attempted to get some shut-eye but no matter how often he tried to force himself to look at the inside of his lids, he couldn’t.

His eyes simply couldn’t not focus on you when you took up space in his vicinity. The way your hair fell in front of your face, but still didn’t completely succeed in obstructing his view of your features. How you continuously either hummed or whistled his previously recorded melody, so softly that he wasn’t even sure you were aware of your actions. Your fingers handling the mobile device, how soft he remembers them to be from previous interactions and how he longs for them to touch him. He was utterly intrigued by your whole being, no matter how hard he sometimes tried to deny it. Harry had already noticed the addicting feelings - whatever they may be - he harboured for you seeping out of multiple lyrics and chord progressions he had generated recently.

After weeks of struggling to keep emotions at bay, he felt like he couldn’t contain them any longer. And once you’ve noticed a shift on the couch cushion next to you and switched your line of sight from your device to his intense gaze, you weren’t sure restraint belonged to your vocabulary either.

There was no need for words between the two of you. Not in this situation. Not when this captivating young man was in such close proximity that you could feel the rapid puffs of his breath on your face, aiding the blood currently rushing through your veins in warming up your entire body. You were convinced you wanted to live in this moment for the rest of your life - but then his breath disappeared and you wondered how foolish you had been to long for the previous moment to last.

Because this one… this new scene you found yourself in surmounted the previous one by miles. This was the kind of moment motion pictures tried to recreate. The kind of moment authors longed to emulate. The kind of moment that stuck in your memories like taffy to teeth. Harry’s lips delicately pressing down on yours would serve as fuel for daydreams for the rest of your life, you were sure of it.

And Harry… well, he felt like he had won the jackpot. That you reciprocated his outpour of emotions, kisses and touches was a bewildering reality to grasp, but he welcomed it nonetheless. As his hands slid down the sides of your waist and helped you settle comfortable onto his lap - a space he had imagined your figure perched in for a while now - he tried to decelerate both of your movements. He wanted to make the most of this exact place in time, not knowing when or if it could be recreated.

The kisses exchanged between the both of you soon became too many to keep count. Even though the pace had slowed, the heat infiltrating the studio air rose quickly. Nothing mattered more than the other person participating in this encounter. Lost in fingertips tracing lines and shapes into skin, the gentle movement of hips trying to create friction, soft sounds escaping two sets of plush lips.

Harry was convinced that coaxing out sighs of pleasure from deep within your figure would become his favourite past-time activity. He experimented with every spot imaginable: enveloping your earlobe with his tongue, pressing passionate kisses down your neck, smoothing his ring-clad hands up and down your thighs to ultimately let them rest on your backside. And each time he discovered another part of your body you awarded him with yet another noise. Not before long he wouldn’t be able to remember the melody that had been established earlier in the evening, your sounds transcending any tune his mundane brain could have envisioned.

Just before he got too carried away, Harry forced himself to create the tiniest bit of distance between your physiques. He wanted to continue - god, did he ever want anything more? - but he was also set on gradually progressing with this relationship in its early stages. Giving both of you some time to get acquainted a little more instead of diving in head first.

Reaching his hands up to grasp your flushed face, he couldn’t prevent the boyish grin spreading across his own. While you were still attempting to catch your breath Harry racked his brain for a cheeky comment to break the silence which had seeped into the room. It wasn’t an awkward situation - far from it, because he felt incredibly comfortable right here - but if there was a way for him to tease out another onslaught of your giggles, then he would do everything in his power to do just that.

“A little out of breath, are we? There’s more where that came from, but we’ll save that for another time, love.”