#in theory i could draw backgrounds. in practice however

[sunterze]

blue bird

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Could I get an Hc for how the M6 would react to an Mc that finds out they used to eat a lot of weird creatures and monsters.

I may be obsessed with delicious in dungeon, but like maybe Mc got to try dragon meat and realized that despite it being an 'exotic' food, it tastes familiar. Only gets more surprised. The more weirder foods they end up trying that rnd up tasting familiar.

The Arcana HCs: M6 when MC eats monsters

Julian

From a scholarly point of view, he's actually quite interested in learning more and documenting your finds as medical research

Who knows what medicinal properties these creatures might contain that have gone previously ignored? You could find some miraculous cure or random medicine if you keep snacking your way through the monstrous ecosystem!

Then again, he'd be lying if he said that practice was just as easy as theory. He's pretty well traveled himself, but some of the things you seem so eager to dig into are just ... so ... off-putting

He'll push through with most things but he will draw the line at anything resembling a plague beetle. He was force-fed one of those once and he never wants to experience that again

(he'd never try to keep you from making your own decisions, but to say that watching you eat things resembling plague beetles doesn't turn his stomach and make him anxious would be a lie)

Still one of the best researchers you could have helping you

He's got the background to understand physical nutrients and the importance of a diverse diet - and he's plenty dedicated to you

Asra

They are even more enthusiastic than you are

Sometimes you wish you knew what his limits were, because if things keep going at the rate that they are you might find out that he doesn't even have any

Faust is not helping either - she can and will help distract you if you've finally come across something you're hesitant to try so Asra can sneak a mouthful without being caught

On the plus side, they've tried so many different cuisines already that they have plenty of ideas when it comes to figuring out how to cook something new - and spice combinations you wouldn't dare dream of on your own

He also happens to have plenty of tried-and-true remedies for food poisoning as well (wonder why he learned all of those ...) and is more than happy to share with you if things go south

Absurdly creative with the whole cooking process in general

Keeps trying to incorporate magic. This does occasionally backfire when the beast being cooked is also magical by nature, and the two don't mix as intended

Nadia

She's politely unconvinced, but still mildly invested

Is she personally interested in trying all manner of unconventional dishes? Sure, if it's a well-established recipe from a trustworthy source and contributes to her cultural education

Your recipes, darling MC, do not cleanly fit into that category

She'll still try some, but only after you've been able to replicate the dish multiple times to the point that it's reliably delicious and safe to eat. Otherwise, she'll happily pass her portion to you

However, once you do find a creature that can be reliably cooked as part of a nutritious diet, she is all ears

Do you know what the state of Vesuvia is right now? Any new food source is a welcome food source, especially if it's a resource that isn't being tapped into otherwise. Tell her more about its properties

Will work with you and other nutritionists, chefs, and civil engineers to find a way to introduce it to the populace so they can take advantage of it

Who knows? Maybe if it's popular enough, it can be purposefully cultivated and turned into a major food export ...

Muriel

Not remotely surprised by your habits, for multiple reasons

For starters, he spent his teens living with Asra. In the woods. Who do you think came up with all those natural remedies for food poisoning??? Not the kid picking every mushroom they saw!

Second of all, he lives off of the land himself. The reason his grocery list is so short is because he's learned to find most of his sustenance in the woods around him. You're just doing the same

Third of all (and most importantly) - if it's food, it's food. It's that simple

Will eat anything you hand him as soon as he knows it won't poison him, no hesitation in sight and no further questions asked

His only concern about the whole thing is sustainability. He knows firsthand what happens when something throws the delicate balance of an ecosystem out of whack and he wants to make sure that doesn't happen on accident because you're new to it

Never really stops to appreciate any of the good flavors at first, but eventually develops a palette for the different spices

Insanely good at assessing what kind of nutrients it'll have

Portia

Being an excellent chef herself, she doesn't see much point in eating mostly monster food once the initial excitement has worn off. It was fun for several meals, but now she wants bread

This does not change her general fascination with monsters or magical beasts in general, though, or her overall interest in helping you on your special monster cuisine endeavors

Share the monster facts - all the monster facts

Will work with you on putting together notebooks full of information on monster behaviors, nutritional values, hunting and preparation methods, and ideal flavor profiles

Unrivaled at giving good cooking advice. The meat's good to eat, but too tough? Marinate it in something acidic

It's too spongy to be a starch, but too starchy to be a vegetable? Try roasting or grilling it plain and putting sauce on top

Knows all about how to maximize the "scraps" so that nothing edible goes wasted, and knows how to do it in a way that still tastes good and fills you up

Curious enough to try most of it, smart enough to avoid poisoning

Lucio

Okay, okay, so he'll admit it - he does get squeamish (just a little bit) at the thought of eating the monsters that tried to kill him earlier and he's not particularly fond of revisiting the "eat or be eaten" mentality that was instilled in him as a small child

That said, he is curious

And he very much enjoys all the hunting (and bounties!) involved

You're telling him that he gets to chase down a rare beast, enjoy the thrill of conquering it and the bragging rights that entails, get paid for disposing of it, and then get a free meal after he forgets about it for a couple hours? Sign him up!

Just, uh. Just don't remind him what exactly he's eating if it's from one of the grosser monsters. Devouring a deadly ancient boar? Awesome! Devouring a worm monster? ... yeah, don't ruin it

Has no issues with putting more resources into what you're trying to do. It means free food, bragging rights about killing and eating monsters, and dinner not getting dull and boring

Will not-so-subtly feed anything he doesn't like to Mercedes and Melchior when he thinks you can't see him

[crimsonhydrangeavn]

Hey there! I'm here to simp for Garret, as usual, but I have another reason to gush today—I absolutely adore your drawing style! Whether it's the colors, the character designs, or the scenes, I just love it all. One of my favorite things, though, has to be the characters' facial expressions—they are all just beautiful!

Marcelo's surprised face? Perfect. Rita's blushing cheeks? Adorable. Camilla's entire design? Has a special place in my heart. And don't even get me started on Teagan's smile—it's so cute, it's almost unfair. But, of course, my ultimate favorite is Garret. I can't handle it when he furrows his eyebrows, whether he's pissed off or has that smug look like he's just hit the jackpot. It's all just so perfect!

Anyway, I do have a question for you—do you have any tips for creating character designs? I feel like the way your characters look perfectly matches the vibe they give off, and I'm starting to work on my own visual novel, but I'm having a hard time nailing down the character designs and I felt I could find good advice from you.

Additionally, I apologize in advance for all the fangirling and for my poor English. I hope nothing I said came across as rude or inconvenient, truly 🙏.

Thanks so much, and I hope you have a fantastic day! ❤🌻

Thank you so much for your incredibly sweet ask! Please, please, please NEVER apologize for gushing about characters for fangirling over them! It always brings a massive smile to my face and I really appreciate hearing how much you enjoy them! <3 I'm incredibly flattered that you reached out to me for advice on character creation and I'll do my best to share my process with you! Granted there are a million different ways to do things so these are just a few things that I've found that helps me in the creation process.

I'll give you a little background about me and my character/story creation journey so you can get a better understanding of my background in writing/character development.

You see I've been a huge fan of text roleplay for the majority of my life. I actually started roleplaying on gaiaonline when I was 12 and I've been doing it ever since. ( Almost 20 years at this point! damn am I old lol) As a result I've had a lot of practice creating and interacting with different kinds of characters in different settings. I've also been playing DnD on and off since high school. That being said, I've had time to refine my craft and create characters that I personally really enjoy and align with to some degree. ( And hopefully you do too!)

That being said, I'll list a few tips and tricks I've picked up over the years below!

Anatomy is key! Yes, my characters are stylized, however I spent a long time studying anatomy and getting a solid sense of proportions, ratios, and musculature. Am I perfect? Absolutely not, but I'm at the point that I can usually notice if there's a glaring error/ something looks really off.

Make sure to put all of the characters in a line up once they're designed! Are their heads the same size? What about their hands and feet? Some slight variations are natural, but if one character's head is noticeably larger than the others, then I'd take the time to adjust. The same could be said for colors. Is one character SUPER saturated while the others are more muted? Unless they're supposed to stand out, consider reworking the colors to make them feel a bit more cohesive.

A basic understanding of color theory is always a bonus in my book! I'd also consider making a general color palette for your game. That way it'll help you make sure everything looks and feels as though it's in the same world.

When I first create a character, I try to think of a general concept of what I want them to be. What's their general vibe? What do they look like? What's their personality like? Ect. Once I have a general vibe down, I try and do a bit of visual research on tiktok, pinterest, tumblr, google, ect. For example, I might have a general idea of what a typical frat bro or sorority girl looks like, but until I actually do the research and look into the kinds of things they wear, how they speak, and their general lifestyle, and real life examples of these kinds of people they'll feel like a flat caricatures of what they actually are.

Then, once I have the general vibe nailed down I start doodling them and playing around with different hairstyles, outfits, body types, ect. I actually have a few different different versions of all of the characters for Crimson Hydrangea! I rarely end up going with my first sketch/ concept when it comes to most of my characters. I also like exploring with different skin tones, colors, and textures/designs.

It takes a lot of thought and trail and error, but once I finally create a character that I'm visually happy with, I really start delving into their personality, backstories, and general psyche. What are their likes, dislikes, positive traits, and flaws? What are their motivations, fears, and traumas? How self aware are they? Then I start asking myself slightly more introspective questions to help me relate to the characters a bit more. What about this character resonates with me? How can I make this character feel more real? What are some traits that we share? For example, Garret inherited my unhealthy perfectionism, Marcelo inherited my love of food and desire to make sure those around me are happy and comfortable, Camilla inherited my sarcastic sense of humor, Rita inherited my unyielding sense of responsibility and unhealthy work-a-holic tendencies, and Teagan inherited my deep rooted insecurities. Granted most of these characters take it to a completely new level than I do in my real life, but at least on a basic level I can relate to them and understand their motivations. That being said, I don't think all of your characters need to inherit a specific trait of yours, it's just something I recently realized I tend to do on a subconscious level to help me write them with a bit more depth.

Let your characters develop a life of their own within your story. It's okay if they end up changing from your initial concept. People in real life are complex and don't always fit into a specific mold no matter how hard they try. They grow and change over time, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst. Do what feels right for the story you're trying to tell. For example, Garret was originally supposed to be more calculated and methodical. Marcelo was originally supposed to be a lot more laid back and go with the flow. However when I actually started writing them in specific scenarios I realized that they're far more complex than a simplified list of traits. Flaws and weaknesses make them feel so much more real than a "perfect" gary/mary stu.

When it comes to facial expressions, I usually have a small mirror on my desk to observe and reference specific expressions I'm trying to convey. In addition to using the mirror as a reference point, I also tend to make whatever face I'm drawing as I'm drawing it. It's a little silly, but I find it really helpful feeling my facial muscles recreate the same expression. It helps me figure out what the brows, eyes, and mouth are doing at the same time. It's gotten to the point of doing it subconsciously whenever I work/animate/draw. (Fortunately I usually work from home so no one has to see my weird expressions lol)

I think the final and most important tip you should take to heart is to create characters you genuinely enjoy. It'll also help you stay motivated to keep writing them and developing the story, especially early on in the creation process.

Hopefully you found my rambling helpful! It ended up being a bit more of a brain dump than I originally intended haha. That being said, I'd love to see what kind of characters and game you end up creating in the future! <3

[brehaaorgana]

Sorry my reply will probably just be too long for a comment lol @itspeepytime

Basically I think like — yes, I agree basic art classes should teach the love of creation and the practice of just creating and such.

However, I would not frame something like "teaching the basic science of art mediums and pigments, or color theory" to be "rules" per se. Fundamentals of the skill, yes. Rules? No. These are tools. If you know your tools, you can use them to do all kinds of conventional and unconventional things, but you also know what is not physically possible.

Example:

I will never get green if I mix magenta and cyan. That's not a creativity-limiting rule, that's just a fundamental fact of color mixing. A limiting rule is "leaves should be painted green."

That's a limiting rule. It's a limit on how to paint leaves. How to approach something.

But "magenta and cyan don't make green," is a fundamental. They make purple. You can't change that fact.

You can, however, paint leaves using purple, dark blue, or red.

We admire Monet and the impressionists for their use of light and color, which may have gone against conventions of the time — but they all deeply cared about the fundamental science of light and color. And they were studying it and using fundamentals.

It's great to teach intro students how to enjoy making art, but it's not limiting to help them understand the tools they have at their disposal in orded to make art. "PB15 is a transparent pigment called phthalo blue" isn't a stifling rule, it's a fact. Likewise if I tell you the mass tone of pb15 is incredibly dark, meaning you reach maximum chroma with some dilution/mixing (regardless of the medium), that doesn't stifle creative choices, it just explains what the tool you're using does.

So I'm never surprised by how phthalo blue is going to mix in any given color mixing experiment because I know the mass tone is darker than the maximum chroma I can reach, and I know it's a transparent pigment so it will mix and layer differently from an opaque pigment.

It's like - when I was a TA for an intro art history course, I had some stem students who were taking the class for a gen ed, and they panicked at first because we didn't really spend any time teaching art fundamentals the textbook briefly introduces. So they had no foundation for what they were trying to do or the tools we had for talking about art history. They came to my office hours and I was like "okay let's back up. Before you try to figure out like, meaning of a painting or history, let's just figure out how composition works and how I know what it is, because that's a good building block."

And then I brought print outs of various paintings and starting drawing over them to show them how composition worked and what I was identifying, before having them try it too. Like foreground, mid ground, background. That's a fundamental. Triangular compositions. Rule of thirds. Stuff that helped them see how creativity works with tools, and isn't just all abstract feelings and pure whimsical talent or something. And then I said "great so now you know how we figure this part out, so what's the focus of the painting? What is the artist focusing on? Is there somewhere the composition is emphasizing, or downplaying? And why might that be done?"

Suddenly it was less terrifying to learn art history for them, because it had structures and a logic and tools you could learn, rather than being about innate creativity or artistry.

I had to give them a fundamental building block.

I can tell anyone "draw a person standing under a tree," but if they're like "well all I can do is this-"

There are tools I can give them to understand how someone achieves something else! I feel like an overemphasis on "there all no rules, and I just want you to enjoy it" can be just as much of a problem as an overemphasis on too many strict conventions! Especially since so many people (non-art majors) are intimidated by the idea that they "can't" do great art because they simply don't have the "talent" needed when they just "do" it. They get frustrated and don't understand why they can't see improvement.

An extreme either way is bad, but I think lately it's swung sooo far in favor of "art has no rules, so fundamentals are limiting." that it's kinda bad, because even the art majors aren't learning some basic things.

[valkyriellis]

Your art is super satisfying to look at. The way you simplify form into shape and chisel details into life (especially the face and folds) is very 'crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside.' I especially admire the different values—The almost black graphite lines and shadows are my favorite haha.

How long have you been studying art? What do you think of and prioritize when drawing a picture? Is there anything you find especially challenging to draw?

(Sorry for the rant your art is just like super cool to me.)

Wow, thank you so much!! I love the way you described it haha, and I love these questions! They're some real thinkers... Sorry in advance for my response-rant because you really got me reflecting on some things lol

I've been drawing since I could pick up a pencil, but taking art seriously through classes and commissions and all that started at about 11/12 years old. (I'm 23) I honestly don't know what anybody saw in my art at that age but I can certainly say the few that encouraged me that early are the reason I'm still at it today!

I mean this in the least pretentious way possible, but I've noticed that when I draw I kind of enter like a "trance" state and barely even realize what I'm doing until it's over. I can't say that I'm thinking, focusing, or prioritizing anything, really! When I do start a piece with the explicit goal of *practicing* however, the focus/priorities change depending on what I'm trying to improve. It's probably obvious looking at my art, but I love the look of sharp angles and heavy contrast. My fav part of drawing is the delicate balancing of values. If that's helpful at all

For what I find to be challenging in art- two things. Inorganic shapes, and color. Starting with color, it's not enjoyable for me to use color in art and I therefore find it difficult to use effectively. It goes beyond just my art actually! I don't hate ALL color by any means, but I just truly do not identify with it. Clothes, accessories, home decor, the personalization of my phone case and the home screens of all my devices are all in grayscale, but I'm totally into it my partner wears the rainbow, for example. I could dig into why I think this is, but it'd all be theory. I am well aware of the power color holds in the perception and final product when it comes to art and sometimes wish I could harness that, but it's like it causes me psychic damage to use it lmao. And with inorganic shapes idk it's like a whole different ballpark to me. Buildings and cars are hell lol but flowers trees animals and people rock! You probably won't ever see me draw the former it's genuinely embarrassing haha.

Oh, and backgrounds. Fuck backgrounds all my homies hate backgrounds.

That was a LOT of yapping... Thanks for the questions and I hope I didn't bore you!!

[lara-kaminari]

Excerpt from chapter 11 of: "The serpent and his forbidden fruit".

Or, the first time Ominis and Catalina almost kiss.

—Tell me something else. —Ominis proposed. —Read my fortune in love.

—Love?

—So I'll know if your predictions are true.

—My word alone is not enough?

Ominis smiled mischievously and offered me his hand again. This time I would not take him seriously. I began to trace circles on his palm with my finger, just playing a little.

—I need clarity on what you want to know. —I said, lowering the volume of my voice.

—Can't you just know? —Ominis asked, pulling his body closer to me. Not that it was necessary, we were already very close and in the library there was only silence; his voice had that hypnotic teasing tone I liked to hear.

I resume my reading, letting my fingers glide gracefully. As I moved on, I heard his breathing become more ragged: my nearness seemed to affect him in a way I hadn't anticipated.

—Maybe; maybe I do see something: a woman.

Ominis' eyelashes are long, the perfect complement to her opal eyes. Her face is so close to mine that I can now see it in detail.

—And is she beautiful?

—Does it matter?

—I'm just curious.

—I'm afraid that's just up to your interpretation.

—Something tells me you're out of practice. —Ominis said; in a clever move he was now holding my hand. I was so distracted that it was easy for him to turn the tables. —I'll show you how to read a love prediction.

—You can't see.

—I know how to use my hands to feel everything.

Merlin.

Ominis ducked his head as if he could really look. However, the trace of his fingers on my palm made it clear that he could perceive every little line as if it were Braille. In a few seconds I found myself as much into his prediction as he was into mine.

—I see here... A path full of possibilities, it looks like a bright and exciting future awaits you.

His voice was soft, almost a whisper, as if he were sharing an intimate secret. I gasped for a moment, surprised by the sudden proximity and the suggestive tone in his voice.

—What else do you see?

—In the theory of physics it is announced that even small objects can make big changes; a woman like you, small and delicate as a wildflower, you strongly attract those around you and make them fall for no reason. —Said Ominis. —You attract just like the myth of the Adam's apple, and the first one to taste of the forbidden fruit will open a door you had closed: Your chance to love.

His words faded to a whisper, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still as he allowed the gravity exerted by the earth to merge me with him. An electric current passed between us, charged with a palpable tension that neither of us could ignore.

I closed my eyes, opened my arms to whatever that physical force had for me and my lips began to tingle at the shock that was now inevitable.

Surprise! It's a fanart 😈 I mean, I did it hehe. That background is NOT mine, I'm not that far along 🤣 I had to google "big window good lighting" and that's what came up ahshzhs BUT everything else is mine ;).

I still don't understand about outlining and shadows, and I have to draw on a sheet of paper first and then upload it to the computer and follow the lines but hey, it's a cool result.

[pavutynko]

hi!! I've seen ur art since a time now, and I think it's amazing! do u have any tips or reference pics to do ur spiderverse oc ♡

Greetings! Since time i haven't checked the ask box so i really apologize for not answering in time.. and quite late, i suppose it have been half-year? Or few months idk

Anyway, spiderverse oc, tips or reference pics.. i suppose you're asking me how to make your own oc (if I'm wrong, please correct me, I'll reply on that too if still interested!)

So, let's just say, spideroc is a journey, you don't have to make perfect design from first try (believe me i tried). It's works for all oc's but yeah, keep in mind that you can change over time and so the oc's design

Spideroc's abilities and costume can be practical AND/OR can be absurd. C'mon, we know about hammerspace and Hobie's hair in mask. It depends on character i suppose but sometimes you can put logic aside and make it as their dimension's thing

Don't be afraid making their abilities unique, adding extra arms, webs. But don't forget about weaknesses, they're making character more believable. It can be physical, emotional, psychological or any other type, the main thing is to give them wings but don't let fly too close to the sun (that' makes sense in my head)

I didn't count so I'll say its 4 tip. I feel like every spiderperson you can draw as silliest as can and still they be recognisable. I think that's the best design choice. You could see which details are too much and change them

Don't forget the story of character, their suit or looks depend on their personality and lifestyle. Plus dimension style (WHICH I LOVE), you can add them uniqueness by drawing them in different style than others. (Imagine their introduction style, their comics, got it? Then create it!

Plus, lets say, the canon events are indeed important but not like you really have to make all of them, few? Yeah. Since we don't really know if that's the real thing i suppose those spiderppl who has canon events that aren't canon enough just don't get into spidersociety (just a theory). So you can play around it too. But if you want opposite, full spidersociety member then maybe make canon events more canonlike (actually fuck the rules, make it however you like, i won't tell Miguel)

Extra tips which i thing someone needs (like i needed too). Don't be afraid of making kid, adult, old spiderperson, there's a lot of field for creativity too, or make young spiderperson, that's also interesting, just remember better not set boundaries where THERE'S A WHOLE SPIDERVERSE OF SPIDERMAN VERSIONS and they can be really REALLY different (Just look at background characters from atsv and you'll get what i mean). Also body types or even creature variations, do an alien spideroc and that will be amazing

Bonus thing i saw lots of spideroc authors made is designed their villain AND GODDAYMN THAT'S SO AMAZING I REALLY WANT TO DO THAT TOO (even though Mayo's dimension doesn't play any role in main story i present BUT C'MON). Do that too if you can, if not, just keep in mind your villains can be unique and can be more to canon.

About partners of Spiderman.. play around! Ship with original character, with person from other dimensions, with spiderperson, with canon spiderperson. Just c'mon, DO IT, if it fuels you then DO IT SHARE IT AND WE'LL EAT IT. Enjoy your time being in spiderverse fandom (but keep it legal, okay? No proships, got it? I'm watching you)

And last and not least as i said, play around, fuck the boundaries and rules if needed, or if needed make them tough, give your oc struggles and desires, needs and mistakes. Just keep moving, just keep going! Have fun!

(you can use it for creating oc too but you see i concentrate more in spideroc)

[digitalrevolutions]

Being, Thinking, and Knowing in a Hypertext Age

The speculative rhetorical model posits that we can only know the world in ways bounded and contextualized by our own experience of being. For this reason, a speculative rhetoric approach tries to pay careful attention to the perspectives, roles, and experiences of nonhumans, since communication inevitably takes place among a vast array of nonhuman actants. Speculative rhetorician Andrew Reid asserts that “A speculative rhetoric begins with recognizing that language is nonhuman.” At first, I couldn’t begin to imagine what this must mean. Sure, animals communicate, but surely language—expressive, symbolic communication with defined rules—must be an exclusively human phenomenon.

I read Reid’s short list of scholars cited (Alexander Galloway, Richard Grusin, Bruno Latour, Alan Lui, and Quentin Meillasoux) aloud to GPT-4 and asked it to tell me what they were known for, in hopes that knowing the background Reid was drawing from would help me contextualize such a bizarre statement.

It confirmed that Bruno Latour is best known for actor-network theory, as I had thought. Meillasoux it introduced as a speculative realist philosopher. Lui it defined as a scholar of “language as a digital-cultural phenomenon, influenced by both human creativity and digital technology.” Grusin, it said, was known for proposing that new technologies “remediate” and refashion older ones. Galloway, it said, “explores how digital protocols, the rules and standards governing digital networks, shape interactions and communications.” A quick look at Google Scholar and the scholars’ university webpages confirmed that its characterizations were fairly accurate.

Altogether, I could only conclude that these scholars affirm language as a constructed, constantly evolving phenomenon, although I still couldn’t see how the ability to influence human actions would equate to an equal ownership of language. It may be old-fashioned, but at present I’m still prepared to embrace Kenneth Burke’s definition of man as “the symbol-using animal.” As far as I know, there’s no evidence that animals can grasp the abstract symbolism inherent in language as well as we can.

However, I do think Gunther Kress’s “Multimodality” afforded me with another avenue for making sense of Reid’s perspective, at least. Kress asserts that “all texts are multimodal”, where ‘text’ seems to be doing a great deal of heavy lifting to encompass practically anything into which meaning can be encoded and decoded. For him, the multimodality of verbal speech arises from its inclusion of “pitch variation; pace; stress; phonological units (produced by a complex of organs); lexis; sequencing (as syntax); etc.” In other words, any element which can have a role in imparting meaning is part of the mode (or means) of linguistic communication. Since some animals can intentionally adapt these facets of communication to a rhetorical context (i.e. cats having a less babyish meow around one another than humans), I can see the argument that many animals possess a kind of language in that way.

But since Kress’s many example pictures and diagrams stress the representational quality of human languages (in which he apparently includes visuals, which he says can develop a kind of grammar) even when it’s completely divorced from written or spoken words, I’m still inclined to say that animals have communicative skills but not language. I’m curious whether anyone knows of any animals capable of abstraction.

Similarly, I wonder at what point we could consider the product of generative AI to be language (or perhaps I should say a form of communication, period). There’s no conscious intent behind it, it’s an actant and not an actor, but it arguably works entirely in abstractions (it doesn’t have meaningful, individual experience of what anything is!) and it certainly considers its modal elements, as many generative AI models will show by displaying alternate response options.

[meg-literacy]

Week 2: 8/28 - 9/1

Towards an Educationally Relevant Theory of Literacy Learning: Twenty Years of Inquiry

Big Takeaway: The use of authentic literacy experiences is extremely important when it comes to helping children learn literacy.

Nugget: While there are many important pieces needed in getting children to become literate, engaging them is the key.

Building a Literacy Community: The Role of Literacy and Social Practice in Early Childhood Programs

Big Takeaway: A child will become more literate if they are allowed to interact with texts in multiple ways (drawing, talking, etc.) with multiple people (parents, teachers, peers, etc.).

Nugget: Asking children “What do you think?” allows them to make the decision and use their own reasoning to evaluate tasks.

Readerly Habit: Explore relationships with other people through reading by using texts as a shared experience with another person/other people or to gain insight into the perspective of another person

Task: Provide an interpretation of the assigned reading through the lens of another class you’ve taken

Response: This was a relatively simple process for me to go through. Initially, I did not know what task I wanted to do, but while reading the article by Brian Cambourne, I could not help but notice the similarities besides the things he was writing and the material we learned in many of my TESOL classes. So I decided to reread the article through the lens of EDUC 311, and provide an interpretation for this readerly exploration. I wrote my interpretation and skimmed through the article looking for the key pieces I wanted to talk about. Something I found a little difficult was making sure to note the differences between ELLs and children. This was hard because ELLs can be children, so what would make the literary skill development different besides the fact that ELLs are behind in developing these skills. However, as I continued writing, this was not something that heavily impacted me because they still fit the criteria, and need the literacy skills. In fact, they probably prove the point even further because they are both children learning literacy skills and ELLs becoming literate in English. Writing this interpretation deepened my understanding of the course content, because it activated my background knowledge on this subject. I felt more engaged with the article once I realized how easily it could relate to a subject I already have a lot of knowledge on. Honestly, this was a good introduction to the course because I now feel more comfortable and more prepared to take on the course content throughout the semester.

This is the interpretation that I wrote. Overall, it was something I found easy to do because ELLs and children are both learning English literacy, so the article was very applicable to both.

[nightmarist]

For the artist questions, 6, 21 and 30 if you dont mind

6. What’s your least favorite thing to draw?

Ironically what people tell me to draw.

It's my love-hate with commissions, where I can need the money but dread what people are going to pay me to draw. However, I do like requests, there's a semantic difference in my brain for a request bc usually requests are framed in ways that people want me to draw something they think would match my art or think I the artist would enjoy drawing vs commissions where people want something I just couldnt care less about but Have to do it.

Since I've gotten more established professionally IRL I get to be more choosy about what I take on as commission, so I might just endup doing a whole "I'll only do commissions if I actually like your idea" since I do want to be paid for my work and I do think people have really cool ideas I would love to pry out of their tangled brains and put to paper or canvas or whatever. But even then, If I do really love someone's idea, I mean. Fuck it. I'd love to do it. I love making things for people and giving them away. The fleeting aspects of art can be art too.

21. Do you like to challenge yourself?

Yes !!! I constantly do shitty little sketches and go to drawing tutorials, ask my art instructor and professor friends for tips, tricks, ideas etc. I do a lot of exercises and recently I've become much less afraid of creating backgrounds now that I have a better grasp how to make them. Similarly I'm trying to figure out painting more, which is both fun and challenging.

I don't want to do Just realism, I would love to experiment with other styles. Now that I have actual income, I can "waste" resources (paint, canvases, etc) practicing. Usually the issue is, if I make something, I can't buy back the things I used to make it, and therefore can't continue making. One of the big reasons I've been doing so much more art lately than the past decade.

30. What inspires you to not just make art, but to be a better artist?

How do you define it? Is it what's the most realistic? I can do realism. I have. Ive been doing it since I was a young teenager, I had galleries and awards and was paid hundreds to nearly a thousand dollars for pieces. My parents kept all the money. Now that I'm an adult, no one gives a shit that some thirty year old man can paint a realistic portrait of a celebrity. It only mattered when I was 13 and 14 using a program no one ever heard of (paint tool sai) or didnt think photoshop could be anything but a photo editor. Realism isnt fun, anyway, at least not anymore for me.

I do think that things like "the basics" - anatomy and realism, still life, color theory, perspective, all should be learned to learn how to make compelling art. But they dont have to be used in polished, aesthetically pleasing ways. Once you learn how and why "oh these colors clash and make people turn away from how jarring they are" you can use that. "These perspective lines are weird" can be just as compelling when you have the knowledge to fuck around with it.

I think the thing for me is, after having collaborated with so many other artists IRL and seeing their work, art is so much more than being "good" or "better" or "best" — it's expression. What you express, how you express it, those are each personal things.

Art isn't just painting. Or embroidery. Or convention. Its this lady in town who makes full body puppet costumes out of scrap blankets and broken ceramics. Is this old woman in the country side who makes masks out of paper and crayons. Its a local punk who learned to silk screen their own T shirts with weird shit.

I guess more or less being a "better" artist for me is coming to understand that there's no actual such thing. You can have your own personal goals, set them, and make them.

In addition, "every artwork is practice for the next"

It's a perpetual cultivated skill that, when you look back, there will always be something you could have done "better"

[regression-1863]

hello! this anon was me :> and I completely hear you! there's definitely a difference between learning something and actually doing that thing in practice! like for me, lineart? absolutely evil, i don't understand how people can get it to look so clean no matter what i do lol!

but thats also why i mainly focus on coloring and whatnot, because its some i feel that I'm skilled at, and i could ramble about color theory/value theory forEVER, i adore it <3333

now! onto the tips :> (they will be under the readmore as i tend to ramble)

Okay so this is a mistake i see a lot of artist make, especially ones who are good at lineart, but not good at coloring/color theory, and a lot of them will think that the colors they’re using are wrong, or that there's something wrong with their color theory, however this isnt exactly true. Sure, it's part of it, but there's a bigger part at play. 

In this example, the problem isn't as much the colors as it is the value of the colors. This can be difficult to tell, but, if you put the art piece in grayscale 

Then you'll notice that a lot of the facial features and other such things are fading out and disappearing from the drawing itself. Some people avoid this problem a few different ways, some people draw completely in grayscale and then use a color layer, some people use their line art (though it's not as effective as the colors still melt together but there's a line separating it.) 

I am going to input my personal opinion: i don't particularly like painting in grayscale and *then* adding colors, as for me it just takes the joy out of painting! It can also somewhat gray the painting out, however you can put another color layer over the grayscale and make it all a reddish color to add more color and then adding filters on top of that, but i still am not a fan. However, this method is still very useful! Heck, i used to use it alot and i do believe it helped make me a better artist. 

I personally have a painting-like art style because before I switched to digital art I mostly did traditional painting, so I don't use either of those methods. Instead I deliberately look at the contrast, which is something I can see in your painting. For example, Eddie's hat is more noticeable than his bag because it's darker and contrasts better with the rest of the background while the bright pink of his shoes is blending in with the ground. Something i can suggest is using a darker colored floor to contrast better with the bag and the shoes, or even to add more drastic shading to have sort of a thicker outline like this: 

(theres also the option of adding more lighting as well! the main point is for the diffrent shades of gray to contrast each other)

This way we can see the character, (eddie), more clearly, as well as have some separation with his bag too.

Another thing I noticed in this art piece was how saturated some of your colors are, which, to be honest, isn't as bad of a thing as everyone makes it out to be. In fact, I personally love using bright colors! Sue me but it's true! The main reason a lot of people say “dont use bright colors” is mostly because of value theory, because as seen in the original art piece, its very easy for the colors to blend together (as in being the same shade of gray next to each other) when using saturated colors.  Again, this can be fixed with shading. 

I also noticed on your blog there was a very pretty blue beagle!

 Not only is he pretty, but the contrast in the colors are lovely too! As most of his body is a lighter shade of gray compared to the background he easily sticks out to the eye, and not only that but the brownish color also is part of color theory, (even if just slightly) as orange/blue are on opposite sides of the color wheel. (i know the color isnt orange, but brown is more orange than purple or green is.) 

you are one of my favorite artist on here, and i apreiciate you letting me ramble about all of this! i really love color/value theory, and its something that i dont get to talk about a lot, so thank you! this whole thing is like a little treat for me, getting to talk about values and colors and everything, i could probably write forever about it!

thank you so much, and i hope you have a fantastic day :> if you (or anyone else) would like to ask questions, feel free to do so! i love rambling about this type of stuff :>>>

Hi! In your recent post, (the drawing of Eddie) you mentioned that you were struggling with the coloring. As someone who is obsessed with coloring and color theory, I was wondering if you would like some tips? If not I completely understand!

But just so you know, your coloring is awesome and I ADORE the color palette <333 have a lovely day!

(p.s, I'm sorry if I'm overstepping boundaries, it's not my intention but if I am let me know <3)

its not that i dont Understand! on a technical level, i do. i've watched/read countless tutorials, helpful posts, tips tricks shortcuts - you name it! i can look at someone's art and pick out the process behind it. hell, i look at my own work and im able to go "oh, this is what's wrong with it"

but there's just... idk some sort of disconnect in my head. a mental color blindness of a sort. its like looking at a thing and knowing how it works, but once you go to put it together your mind goes blank.

i mean i wouldnt say No to some tips. you never know what you don't know. there could be something You know that i somehow havent seen yet that would help immensely. so sure!

[shingia]

not many people would be willing to be used as a way to prove eren jaeger wrong. but jean kirstein would, as long as he gets something out of it...

CHAPTER 4 : HELPING HAND

↳ jean kirstein x f!reader

↳ series masterlist

↳ cw: swearing, one mention of throwing up, jean being awkward || wc: ~4k (i got a little carried away)

it was almost 9pm, and the sun had set a while ago. alone in the bathroom, the only background noise was your friends happily chattering in the living room. 

it felt homey. niccolo, connie and mikasa playing cards together, armin probably reading something for the literary theory class he had excitedly told you about during dinner, sasha talking with her mother on the phone, walking in circles in the kitchen... homey was the perfect word.

but like all things, the peacefulness eventually came to an end.

by the time eren was back from practice, you had joined the rest of the group in the living room. you checked your watch: 9 o’clock. you would have to get going in a few minutes.

everyone had bought it when, yesterday, you had told them that a friend from your strategic communication class had asked you to tutor them. why wouldn’t they have? you were doing fairly well in that class, it was no secret. and besides, sasha and connie had skipped it so many times that they couldn’t possibly find out that you were lying.

it was a solid lie. much more believable than the actual truth, in fact.

because even you had to admit that “jean asked me to tutor him” sounded very unlikely, not to mention suspicious. but it was nonetheless the truth. 

you owed jean. it was part of the deal. however, the more time passed, the more you began to think that maybe ‘tutoring’ was just a double-entendre you had never heard of, which was nerve-wracking. and the fact that he needed help for a “human relations assignment” only contributed to that feeling. you didn’t know jean well enough to know how big he was on metaphors…

“how was practice?” mikasa asked eren when he plopped down on the couch, careful not to sit on armin’s papers. next to her, niccolo was drawing his third draw 4 of the game.

“pretty good” he nodded, taking a sip from the water bottle he had in hand. but when he put it down, his gaze slowly shifted from mikasa to you: “although someone in the team was a dick the entire time”.

niccolo slammed his draw 4 on the table, making both of you laugh at connie’s despair. eren cleared his throat:

“…i’m talking about jean”

you heaved an annoyed sigh, “no shit sherlock?!”, and kept going as you turned around to face him. “you know, i miss when we used to talk about other things. everything didn’t have to be related to him before saturday”.

“oh come on, cut him some slack” connie intervened, visibly giving up on his ongoing uno game, “maybe he’s just jealous. maybe he wanted to be the one having some bathroom fun with jean…”

on the right half of the couch, armin let out a snort, immediately covering his face with his book. but mikasa and you had the misfortune to make eye contact with him, making you mirror his guilty laugh. connie looked proud, there was nothing like a group of people laughing at his jokes.

“yeah alright, make fun of me all you want” eren fired back, “at least i didn’t hook up with someone just to prove my friend wrong”

everyone fell silent. except maybe for connie’s surprised ‘oh’. it wasn’t the first time eren was referring to saturday night. far from it. and it had only been 48 hours.

“you’re the one being a dick right now” you replied dryly. “that was your fucking idea! you just can’t stand the fact that, technically, you lost your bet to jean”

in the kitchen, you spotted sasha nodding at your words. even she had admitted that eren was being a sore loser yesterday.

“yeah, that’s right… whatever helps you sleep...” eren rolled his eyes, and that made your blood boil, “i’m just saying. you could have done better”.

another ‘oh’ left connie’s mouth. you knew he lived for your bickering with eren. and so was armin, secretly.

“has it not occurred to you that maybe i hooked up with him because i also wanted to?”, you asked, thinking that you could’ve been asking this question to yourself as well. 

you could have ended the conversation here. you probably should have. but you didn’t.

“in fact...”, you stood up and glanced at the clock next to the tv: “i lied about tonight. i’m actually going to his place”.

armin put his book down with a little gasp, echoed by connie and niccolo, whose uno game was definitely over. “i knew it...” you heard connie whisper to mikasa, but she obviously knew he was bluffing.

well, the truth was out now. they would have found out eventually, you tried to reassure yourself. without another word, you put on your coat and grabbed your bag.

eren scoffed: “you’re lying”, but you caught him giving the others a quick look - as if waiting for them to confirm your words.

you swung your bag over your shoulder and headed towards the front door. “whatever helps you sleep, jaeger” you smiled at him before grabbing the apple that sasha was handing you - “you can’t leave without dessert!”.

and just like that, you left the apartment. the last thing you saw being sasha’s proud thumbs up right before you closed the door behind you. 

—————

marco bodt was a nice guy - “sometimes even too nice” according to connie - which is why words could not express how relieved you felt when you realized that he was the roommate jean had briefly told you about.

“he’s still in the shower. but he should be done in a few minutes” marco informed you after closing the door. he invited you to take a seat in the living room, which was about as sophisticated as yours: a black couch, a wooden coffee table, and a tv that wasn’t much larger than a laptop. the layout of the apartment overall was very similar to yours - nothing surprising considering you were all living in the same neighborhood.

“no problem” you replied, hoping that he would be better at small talk than you were. behind the wall, you could hear the sound of water flowing through the pipework. their bathroom must’ve been right next to the living room, just like yours.

you gave a quick look around you, desperately trying to find something to talk about. but based on the way marco began to frantically gather the couple of papers scattered on the coffee table, you guessed that he had probably mistaken that for a judgmental look.

“i’m really sorry for the mess” he awkwardly scratched his neck, which made your eyes widen. the mess? these were undoubtedly the words of someone who had never shared an apartment with sasha braus...

"oh don’t worry! it’s far much worse at my place, to be honest” you answered, and the sound of water in the pipework stopped exactly as you ended your sentence. you acted like you hadn’t noticed, and kept on initiating some kind of small talk with marco. you were really trying your hardest to be chill about this situation.

however, you couldn’t just ignore what happened next.

jean could not be blamed for getting out of his bathroom without a shirt on, it was his apartment after all. but you could blame him for standing in the corridor for so long without looking up from his phone, therefore not noticing your presence until marco cleared his throat.

startled, jean snapped his head up in your direction. his hair looked darker than saturday, but after giving it a more attentive look, you noticed it was just soaking wet.

“oh. hi. i’m uh... i’m gonna- i’m gonna grab a shirt. and then we can... i’ll be right back” he spluttered, before hurrying into his bedroom, muttering a barely audible curse under his breath.

there were already dozens of reasons why you knew tonight would be awkward: the fact that it you hadn’t seen each other since saturday, that this apartment was foreign ground to you, that - all things considered - you realized you didn’t really know him that well... but somehow, jean had managed to create another one in a matter of seconds. 

at least it was pleasant to watch, you thought to yourself, but immediately stopped when he got out of his bedroom, now wearing a slightly wrinkled grey t-shirt.

“i- uh… i think my bedroom might be the best place to work” he offered, visibly unsure of every word he was saying, “…or we could just stay in the living room if you’d prefer!”.

amused, you got up from the couch “bedroom is fine”. one thing was sure, saturday night jean and monday night jean were two radically different people.

you were surprised to notice that jean’s bedroom was tidier than yours - although not tidier than armin’s - and much more decorated than his living room or kitchen, with posters of various movies and bands covering most of the white walls. on his shelves, some trinkets, books, boxes and hardback notebooks were making it look like an ordered mess.

like marco had previously done in the living room, he hurried towards his bed to gather the documents and highlighters scattered on it, before inviting you to sit down. he chose to sit at his desk, on a black chair similar to the one connie had in his.

in fact, noticing that similarity made you realize that most of his shelves, his nightstand and his desk lamp were actually the exact same as connie’s. odd coincidence, you first thought. but quickly remembered that time when, a few months ago, connie had placed an order at ikea and accidentally purchased everything twice. you had always wondered what he had done with his extra articles, there was your answer.

sat on the bed, and surrounded by a surprising amount of pillows, you kept both feet on the floor. it was obvious you weren’t comfortable enough to make yourself at home. 

“so... tell me more about this assignment” you spoke up, after realizing jean was not planning to. perhaps awkward silences did not bother him, but right now, it was bothering you: “what’s it about?”

at that moment, it still wasn’t clear to you whether or not you were here to actually tutor him or not. but he cleared any doubt on a potential double-entendre when he slammed a gigantic stack of books on his desk.

“have a look”, he handed you a document already filled with dozens of crossing-outs, like he had already spent so much time on it he couldn’t even look at it anymore.

you skimmed the document, and jean nervously bounced his leg up and down. maybe he had been wrong to think that you could help him. maybe he had been dumb for asking you to come over. what if you would’ve preferred to study at the library? what if you would’ve preferred not to help at all? what if he was making you feel cornered just because of that stupid bet? what if you regretted saturday? and what if-

“you were right, this is right up my alley” you handed the document back to him with a satisfied smile, “i have like, twenty pages of notes on business communication. we can get this done in an hour”.

fascinated. that was the most adequate emotion to describe the look in jean’s eyes when he watched you take your laptop out of your bag. something about the way you had, in just one quick glance, found how to answer something he had been struggling with for days now was making him feel extraordinarily lucky to have poured that gin in your eye last weekend.

so he listened, carefully and for many minutes, docilely writing down all the information you were giving him on the tricky aspects of interpersonal communications: “you make it look so easy, it’s frustrating”.

by the time you were done with the outline of his essay, his hair had completely dried. you tried not to look at him too much, because no matter how productive you two were being when it came to his assignment, you couldn’t ignore the slight awkwardness that remained. but you did steal a few glances, and noticed his hair looked fluffier than saturday. you liked it better that way, but obviously kept that to yourself.

the introduction was finished first. and apparently, this called for a little snack break. you hadn’t forgotten about sasha’s apple and only asked for a glass of water, which he immediately went to get for you in the kitchen.

left alone in his bedroom, you checked the top right corner of your laptop: the screen displayed 10:04pm. right on schedule, you thought, estimating that you would probably be back home around 11. you knew sasha would still be up, waiting for you in the kitchen and ready to begin a thorough questioning about tonight’s events.

the screen was still displaying 10:04 when jean came back from the kitchen, holding a glass of water and a cereal bar for himself. 

you had kicked your shoes off a while ago, when you really got down to business, and were sitting cross-legged against his wall - careful not to fold the corner of any poster: you might’ve been unaware of it, but this had greatly contributed to the gradual disappearance of your awkwardness.

“i thought about something while you were out...” you told him after thanking him for the water. it was obvious, considering that his back was turned on his laptop, that this could be considered a little study break; and initiating a conversation that wasn’t related to business or communications in any way sounded like a good way to spend it. “you know who could’ve helped you much more than me?”

jean furrowed his brows, inviting you to tell him more. 

“eren”, you replied very seriously.

a genuine laugh escaped his lips, making yours automatically stretch in a grin. “i’m dead serious!” you exclaimed, “he had a similar assignment for his elective a few months ago and he nailed it!”.

“maybe” he shrugged, “but you seem to forget that he literally cannot stand to be around me”. he was right, obviously. but that last sentence made it sound like he personally had no problem with eren whatsoever. and you found that hard to believe.

“true. and he can’t stand hearing about you either” you told him, willingly aiming the conversation towards your latest conversation with eren. you had been replaying it in your mind ever since you had left the apartment, and needed to talk about it with someone, “he wasn’t pleased at all when i told him i was coming over at your place tonight”.

jean didn’t look surprised to hear that, “well, he was already being an asshole at practice...”.

most of their teammates had not attended saturday’s party, but porco had been quick to get everyone up do date, even their coach, who was glad to finally understand why two of his youngest players were so insufferable today. tired of their bickering, he had them run 7 laps each.

“careful there” you shot him a glare, “i’m allowed to insult him. you’re not.”

jean rolled his eyes, muttering something similar to an apology. but you knew nothing prevented him from doing it behind your back anyways.

“so basically”, he cleared his throat, visibly trying to change the subject: “now they all think we're like... sex friends or something”.

that pill was hard to swallow. because he was undeniably right. nobody would believe you if you told them that you had spent the evening working on business communication. but, more than embarrassment, his statement made you feel a strong sense of guilt. maybe you shouldn't have been so evasive when jean was just as involved as you were.

you remained silent, but jean only had to pay attention to the look in your eyes to understand what was going on inside your head: "i mean, i don't really care about what they think. as long as you don't".

hearing his own words, he began to fear maybe they weren't those you wanted to hear. but he couldn't end his sentence here. you looked like you were expecting something else.

"i wish i had a deep explanation to give you…" he started with a slightly embarrassed chuckle, "like 'if you tell him you lied then he'll never trust you again'. but i'm gonna be honest: i just think it's fun that the guy i hate is convinced i hooked up with his best friend".

the atmosphere immediately relaxed. and making you laugh was a big enough accomplishment for jean to keep speaking:

"but if you wanna tell him the truth, go ahead. i just think it'd be stupid to do it now. at least do it in two weeks, when the bet’s time limit is over"

that was actually a very clever idea. terribly unfair, but nonetheless clever. and you appreciated that he didn't even try to lie about his own motivations in keeping the lie going: a little bit of help for his communication classes, and the simple pleasure of annoying eren. it could have been much more difficult.

obviously, jean had thought about an easy way to avoid this situation: if that lie were to become the truth, then the problem would be solved. but it didn't matter what kind of person he had appeared to be on saturday night, the regular him would never have the guts to even suggest it.

you had thought about it as well, as early as when you were rubbing connie's back while he was throwing up in your bathroom after the party. but the fear of looking like the biggest idiot on earth if he refused was more than enough to not try anything.

“alright... let’s keep things like that for a big longer then” you stated, fiddling with one of his pillows that you had put on your lap, “it should be easy, it’s not like we usually see each other on campus”.

jean agreed with a nod. things were now settled, and so he went back to leaning back in his chair, crumpling the wrapper of his cereal bar with both hands before throwing it in the trashcan at the other end of the room.

that made you remember a tiny detail. 

something along the lines of a basketball match this weekend, which you had not yet thought about in the perspective of your agreement with jean.

“saturday’s gonna be fun...” you introduced the topic, your voice tinged with sarcasm. but it was your smirk that allowed jean to get what you were referring to.

“oh god...”, he let out with a resigned sigh, “i can’t wait for porco to point at you in the stands and ask which one of us you came for”. he could already picture the scene very clearly. “he’s the biggest shit-stirrer i’ve ever met. you’re not gonna escape it”.

for some reason, that didn’t surprise you at all. porco looked like the kind of guy who was somehow involved in every drama, and who enjoyed it. “i’ll just say i came for the best player” you shrugged, taking the last sip of your drink.

“aw... thanks” jean replied, and immediately covered his head with one arm, anticipating the pillow you threw at him. it landed on the floor in a thud, which made his lips curl up in a cocky smile: “you’re very predictable, you know that?”

“more predictable than your grade on this assignment if i refuse to help you finish it?” you asked, pointing at your laptop which you had just reopened. his smirk immediately disappeared, and you watched him open his own in a split second. “...that’s what i thought” you chuckled. 

you had to admit that jean had a way of making studying less boring than it usually was. or maybe you were just entertained by this unusual setting. either way, the next forty minutes went by in the blink of an eye. but it was nothing compared to the entire hour that followed...

many topics were discussed in that tiny bedroom: the posters on his walls (“you’ve never seen shutter island?! get out of my room, right now”), the multitude of pillows on his bed (which you learned had been brought to him by his mom, who visited once every two weeks), his relationships with the rest of the basketball team, with pieck and porco (“unexpected, but really cool” to quote jean himself), connie’s tendency to skip class, sasha and niccolo’s relationship... things you could have discussed with any of your other friends, but didn’t think could be possible with someone you had never talked to three days ago.

but it was past midnight already, and the conversation did not seem like it could end by itself. 

unlike jean who had moved from his desk chair to the bed once the assignment was done, you had remained in the same position, sat against the wall. your first stretch was almost painful. “i should get going” you told him, keeping your voice low like you had both been doing ever since marco had gone to bed.

with a yawn, jean got up from the bed right after you.

“oh i know my way out, don’t worry” you told him as you put on your coat, which you had left hanging on his chair.

he gave you an intrigued look. “...you’re not seriously considering walking home alone?”

“well, i was” you replied, bending down to put your shoes on, “but i’m pretty sure that was a rhetorical question”.

“it was. your analytical skills are amazing, by the way. i hope you know that” he teased you, before grabbing his keys on his desk and opening the door to let you out first.

out in the cold - which was much more biting than last time you had been outside - the conversation resumed where you had left it, very naturally.

but since it really didn’t take long to walk from his apartment to yours (something he apparently refused to take as an excuse to let you walk home alone), you barely had time to close the topic of niccolo and sasha that you were already approaching your front door.

you knew it, this was a key moment in every stupid romcom that sasha made you watch on sunday nights: the awkwardness of two oblivious protagonists saying goodbye to each other. for a moment, you feared one of you might make it just as awkward as these repetitive characters. but someone luckily - or was it really luck? - helped preventing it. someone who, as always, had his nose stuck in a book, while his other hand was carrying two trash bags.

had you not spoken up, armin might not have noticed your presence, nor jean’s. but the need to know why he was taking the trash out at 12:17am was too strong not to ask.

startled by your voice, armin dropped his book to his feet with a gasp that sounded dangerously close to a scream, “are you crazy?!” he exclaimed, before remembering what time it was and lowering his voice, “you scared the life out of me!”.

but it seemed like he hadn’t been scared enough not to notice jean. or rather, not to openly stare at him. his gaze alternated between the both of you, even as he dropped the bags in the dumpster and picked his book up. you wondered if he was even blinking.

“how was your night?” he asked with a smile that jean might have mistaken for a genuine one. but you knew armin better than that... if sasha was already asleep, he would be the one questioning you.

“good” you replied, adding a yawn that you hoped wouldn’t sound too fake, “but i’m really tired so... i think i’m just gonna go straight to bed”. that last part had been addressed to jean, so when your eyes went back to armin, you didn’t expect to see him waiting for you with his arms crossed. he definitely wasn’t planning on going back inside to leave you two some semblance of privacy.

“alright...” jean tried to fill the awkward silence, as you began to nervously shift your weight from one leg to another, “i should probably head back then”.

you nodded, giving armin a side glance. he hadn’t moved an inch. what was he trying to make you prove? did he have doubts regarding what was supposed to have happened on saturday? it wouldn’t be much of a surprise... other people could be easily fooled, but not him.

but, after what felt like hours - especially in the cold - jean finally took things in hand. his left arm snaked around your waist, and you felt him pull you closer. you shivered, hoping it was just because of the cold, and closed your eyes instinctively, prepared to any eventuality. 

but the only thing you felt was a kiss being left on your forehead, right before he let go of your waist.

“i’ll text you” he said, but you were too taken aback to tell whether or not he had just winked at you or not.

finally, you turned around to face armin. he nodded, a look of satisfaction painted on his face. whatever test he had just made you take, it seemed like you and jean had both nailed it.

CHAPTER 5 ->

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[wiitchkins]

Hello!!! okay obviously your knowledge of and taste in fashion is INCREDIBLE, we ALL know this, it is ELITE AND SUPERIOR - my question is, what's your background in fashion? what influences do you consider very important in your art? you mentioned in your most recent drawing of marinette that guo pei's couture is some you really like, so you clearly Know Some Stuff about fashion!! p.s. your art is *waves hands around* i would let it eat me

Ahhhhhh!! Thank you thank you thank you this means so much to me to hear! As for my background in fashion…

I am sorry to say I actually have basically 0 actual background in fashion aside from watching almost every season of project runway as it was airing (dropped off a few seasons after Tim and Heidi left) and a long standing appreciation of fashion as an art form.

I’ve never been particularly fashion forward or stylistically adept and I would say pretty much up until I started college I was pretty. Unstylish. Anti-stylish? In my own wardrobe. Nowadays I actually mostly present in way that leans more butch and I do have a defined style I’m both comfortable in and actively enjoy, but it’s very very different from what I like to draw and design.

As the internet evolved it became a lot easier to find stuff and for the past mmm five or so years I try to keep up with the seasonal runways, a lot of which you can find literal photos and recordings of on Vogue.com. Couture is… deeply fundamentally different from “ready to wear” in that it’s often simply unwearable in everyday life, but I think the way it emphasizes certain shapes, forms, and movement is, simply put, absolutely fucking sick (it is however not without its problems as in my experience mmm some Couture fashion folks can be extremely pretentious and intolerable 🙄 not to mention the space itself is highly inaccessible, favors certain features/body types/skin tones, and is inherently classcist, etc etc)

To keep up with what’s currently “fashionable” (as in what people are actually wearing) I honestly just scroll through Instagram to see who’s wearing what and going through different tags and knowing keywords for what different groups elf describe as helps. “#streetwear” is gonna give you a different feed than “#it girl” is gonna give you a different feed than “#office fit”. I also like to scroll through instas and tumblrs that are literally just interviews and photos with random people op finds out in the world- you see personality in how things are put together in specific. What makes a look personal to them? What is practicality and what is fashion, and how much of each does each individual desire? I don’t think everyone is the same kind of Fashion Forward (or even is fashion forward) and I think it’s fun to find different niches and mix and match while still applying design theory Ive learned elsewhere. Even a character who is specifically Not Fashionable is that way in a specific sense, and could still have an appealing design. Also studying fashion at all gave me the ability to draw fabric which is a huge skill.

Without saying too much about my actual job, I am not a character designer at the moment, but I do think having this general knowledge of costume design and vested interest in keeping up current fashion (both ready to wear and couture/runway) is extremely important in my profession and wish it was more emphasized as I think it would be. Very helpful. The character design in Apple TV’s/Skydance’s Luck drives me absolutely bonkers because it sucks so much and the main characters looks like an old navy ad circa 2010. The same could unfortunately be said for our fav girl Marinette. She’s allowed to be less aggressively Fashionable because she is in fact a child, but I’d love to see a bit more attention to detail and understanding of what teens wear nowadays, let alone what they were wearing even 5 years ago. Her look was a tiny bit dated when the show was first released, but it’s even more egregious now. Not that they’re going to change it anytime soon but they had an opportunity in the movie to at least play with proportions since the jacket’s.. cut I guess and pink capri jeans are the most egregious. Maybe I’ll do a redesign that keeps the general idea/pieces in tact… idk. God. Please character designers learn fashion.

Anyway now that I’ve written an essay here’s some stuff I’ve liked and have been thinking about recently:

Guo Pei (as I said, Spring 2019 rules, but Spring 2017, 2018 and Fall 2019 are my favs)

Zimmerman Fall/Winter 2022

Heaven Gaia Spring 2022 Couture

Clio Peppiatt x Annie’s Ibiza current collab collection

Lawrence Basse (all her work tbh)

Zuhair Murad Fall 2022

Tran Hung Fall 2017

Alexander McQueen Menswear Fall 2022 and 2018

Christian Dior Resort 2023

Janelle Monae’s Pre-Dirty Computer Era

Thierry Mugler (his entire body of work tbh but rn I like Resort 2021)

Hawwa (@hellohawwa)

Jarvis Aivali (@jarvisaivali)

This is not to mention my love for pre-colonial Filipino textiles, 1920s butch lesbian fashion, charro suits, whatever the look is called with the giant oversized floral button shirt and the jeans is, bright colorful floral/and or embroidered suits, ami thompson’s knight and princess characters, and the catholic met gala specifically.

[krizpybug]

people’s miraculous powers as opposites to their akuma powers

here’s my theory that a person’s akuma form and miraculous form are fully opposites, or use similar powers in opposite ways

analysis

mylene: we haven’t seen mylene as a holder yet, but we DO already know what the mouse’s powers are. as horrificator, she grew and shrank according to people’s fear. she was the monster causing fear. normally, she can be “scared as a mouse,” and the mouse miraculous will allow her to multiply and shrink

rose: princess fragrance’s powers allow her to brainwash people into obeying what she wants. pigella reminds people of what they most want!

alix: timebreaker stole other people’s time for herself, while bunnix hops through time to fix the timeline for everyone

max: gamer was able to transport ppl into his game world, and pegasus can transport himself in the real world

kim: dark cupid has the power to force people to act against their true feelings, while king monkey can force objects/powers to act against their true natures

zoe: sole crusher’s method of literally stepping on people to become stronger vs the bee miraculous’ subjugation are clearly related

nino: bubbler used his barrier powers to imprison the class at adrien’s party, but protects people with barriers as carapace

alya: lady wifi hurts people because of her obsession with truth, but rena rogue protects people with illusion

more developed characters

the more main characters don’t fit into this as neatly, i suppose because they’re more complex and therefore have more complex motivations.

luka: akuma powers and miraculous powers don’t match up at all lol. truth has the same reasoning as lies, but silencer steals people’s voices and viperion has time rewind. completely unrelated

kagami: makes air slices as riposte, and perhaps uses electricity as oni-chan to change places with people over the phone. ryuko can can physically become elements. i’ll be honest lies doesn’t fit here but it was a plot-specific episode

chloe: an interesting problem. all her akuma forms are already based on another persona. first is antibug, in direct opposition to ladybug. then her only other akuma forms so far have been queen wasp/miracle queen which are literally color-swapped versions of HER hero form, queen bee. i suppose the difference is to subjugate others in order to hurt or to help

however i rather like the reading that at her very worst, when hawkmoth takes advantage of her feelings, she is a villain, and at her best she is the hero she so looks up to. while this dichotomy is true for everyone, chloe has a particular love for heroes in her everyday life, so it feels like her akumas are really playing up the dramatics of a villain role

i also wonder if her akumas being based on an existing identity is because she doesn’t actually know herself that well

EDIT: now with queen banana in the mix, i’d say she still has that “wanna-be hero but spun into a villain” thing going on! queen banana is a made-up hero she thought of as a replacement for queen bee, and hawkmoth exploits that idea once again

adrien: similarly to chloe, chat blanc is chat noir color-swapped but with basically the same design. as most akumas with miraculous inspiration, his powers are also basically the same but advanced and practically unlimited in their use

adrien is really attached to his chat noir persona, and in his pain he retreated inside it as well

marinette: wow it’ll be interesting if mari ever gets an akuma form. the closest we have is princess justice, which we can assume would’ve been to get revenge against the people prying into her business. as a hero she also values her secrets very highly, though that is more a personality thing than something related to her powers

i’m not sure her akuma would be a direct parallel to ladybug, because unlike adrien, superhero is more a job than an outlet for her repressed inner personality

speculation for future holders

juleka: reflekta was all about standing out and inflicting her appearance on other people (though in the process making herself just another one in the crowd), and so (partly inspired by @zivazivc‘s acrocat) i think it would be really cool and make a lot of sense if the tiger miraculous had camouflage powers! just thematically it works for the tiger, but it also makes sense with juleka’s canon problems with fading into the background. turn it into a positive!

ivan: stoneheart is a big rock guy that gets bigger when ppl hit him. ivan is pretty clearly the bull in the opening. i’m guessing strength to protect people? pretty straightforward.

sabrina: vanisher was invisible, and so were the objects in her bag. miraculer stole superheroes’ powers and used them herself. apparently she can give them to other people too. her miraculous could be drawing attention or copying powers, perhaps more weakly or only once as compared to miraculer’s unlimited uses. or maybe she grants her power to someone else

nathaniel: evillustrator can draw objects and then edit or move them with his tablet. his miraculous may be related to artistic creation as well. if he’s the goat, a pan flute?

[kotokoharrow]

Case Study 001: Haruka Sakurai

Note that this analysis is based around my own views. I do not present my way of interpreting Haruka as fact, and I am sharing this to see if others agree with me. If you disagree, you are more than welcome to say so and we can discuss it!

Content Warning: This analysis contains discussion of: Animal abuse and death, child abuse and death, emotional abuse, child neglect, murder, flashbacks and nightmares. Please proceed with caution if you are sensitive to any of these topics!

Evidence List:

Haruka’s Profile

Haruka’s Voice Drama

Undercover

Weakness

Two Breaths Walking

Voice Line

Timeline Convo

Character Analysis

A young male prisoner, quiet with downcast eyes. During Es’ early interrogations, he offered only a few constrained words in response. However, he has gradually become more talkative, forming an emotional bond over the course of his interviews. Once one begins to converse with him, his gentle pre-disposition is revealed.

He has a meek temperament and, even in Milgram, does not appear to be dissatisfied. Barely manages to communicate with Es and the other prisoners. However, during conversations, as if some meaning is lost along the way, there is a disconnect.

Haruka is a teenager with a very low opinion of himself, shown in his attitude in his voice drama and the lyrics of his song. When he appears in Undercover, he is shown wringing his hands together, avoiding looking at the camera, and when he finally does shows an unhappy expression. These pieces of his body language show that he is an anxious boy.

Haruka doesn’t appear to be very bright, with his song being written in hiragana, and he struggles to follow along with everything that Es says to him in his voice drama. He even says himself that he isn’t very bright. However, this is likely a result of his mother’s treatment of him, as he hasn’t been allowed to develop as he should have.

The shot in Undercover that shows his room shows young children’s toys on the floor. This, along with his speech patterns, show that he remains in a child’s mindset, despite being 17 years old. I believe that this is due to him becoming ‘stuck’ at an age where he experienced a traumatic event as a child - the event that revolved around fireworks and the girl in his MV.

Haruka’s primary motivation is love. He was neglected and emotionally abused by his mother his whole life, and so has been deprived of the love that most people receive from their parents. Despite love being his motivation, he shows in his interrogation questions that he doesn’t really understand what it is - he just knows that he wants it.

While his primary motivation is love, Haruka’s primary fear is abandonment. He is also afraid of being deceived, which again ties into his fear of abandonment. Haruka believes that everyone will leave him when they learn what he has done, and also believes that he will bring misfortune to others. This belief of bringing misfortune to others is likely a belief that his mother gave to him.

Haruka avoids situations and things that remind him of his trauma, such as animals and small children. This, as well as imagery in his MV, his mother’s treatment of him and his general personality, lead me to believe that he experiences PTSD.

The kanji in his given name means ‘far’ or ‘distant’, which likely references his personality, and the fact that he finds it difficult to get close to and communicate with others, due to having been deprived of connections for most of his life.

MV Analysis

I believe that Weakness takes place after Haruka has committed his crimes, and that it’s showing events from his past in the form of nightmares and flashbacks, which is why they appear distorted and there is heavy symbolism. As a result of this, even what we see in the MV is ambiguous as to whether it really happened, as dreams are not always literal and even with flashback-type nightmares, key facts can appear different to what happened in reality.

At the beginning of the MV, we see Haruka sitting in front of a dressing table, looking at himself in the mirror. The table is likely his mothers, as the perfume bottles on it seem to belong to a woman. Behind Haruka, we can see a window that shows that it’s daytime, but when his reflection in the mirror changes into his younger self, we can see that it is night-time outside (with red sky and a full moon). As the image changes, I believe this is Haruka experiencing a flashback, or perhaps a sign that he is having a nightmare.

I also believe that Haruka experiences PTSD as a result of his mother being emotionally abusive and neglectful towards him. I believe that this mistreatment when he was a young child explains a lot of his current personality - his behaviour fits in well with the behaviours of people who survive emotional abuse (doubting his own perception of things, a very strong negative opinion of himself, fear of abandonment).

There are many lyrics in Weakness that I believe point towards Haruka’s mother being emotionally abusive. The notable ones to me are: ‘Tell me, why are you drifting away from me? / Tell me, why do you say it’s my fault?’ and ‘If I tried and couldn’t say it / You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless”’. I believe that these lyrics are directed at Haruka’s mother.

As for imagery in the MV, when Haruka initially falls backwards from the dressing table, he falls into the liquid from his mother’s perfume, which shows how her treatment of him has surrounded him. Later, while he’s walking alongside her happily, she barely looks back down at him, and when adult Haruka pushes his younger self back, the following image is shown:

I believe the drawing in the background is meant to be Haruka’s mother, and his cruel treatment of his younger self is meant to show that he has internalised his mother’s abuse, going on to blame and punish himself for what he believes she would blame and punish him for.

Later, it shows Haruka as a child watching the fireworks with a girl his own age, whose face is blacked out like his mother’s. While it’s not clear what exactly happened, something bad happened to the girl, and she vanished from his life.

This is pure speculation, but I don’t think that Haruka killed the girl. I think something bad happened to her - possibly she even died - and that Haruka blames himself for what happened, whether fairly or unfairly. I believe that what happened was traumatic to Haruka, and he tried to avoid thinking about the bad part by focusing on his memory of the fireworks, which is a part of his denial.

Later, Haruka is petting a dog with his mother. Then, he goes outside to search for the dog, and comes across the dog’s body. Initially, I believed that Haruka had killed the dog, and I still think that this is a highly likely theory, as yellow roses are seen (which in flower language used to represent jealousy), and the lyrics that play during this point are ‘You praised me by saying “You’re crazy” / Thank you, I’ll do my best’ which, to me, alludes to children acting out for attention when they are being neglected, because due to the lack of positive attention they begin to see all forms of attention as a good thing, including negative attention.

However, in the timeline conversations, there is an exchange between Haruka and Shidou where Haruka has bloodied hands, and he tells a concerned Shidou that it comes from a bad habit of his, that when he’s tense he clenches his fists and his nails dig into his palms, causing them to appear bloodied.

Shidou: Sakurai-kun...? Could you show me your hand? Haruka: Hei!? No, this isn’t... it’s n-nothing... Shidou: Lend it to me. ...Your palm is covered in blood. Let’s have it disinfected. This... has it always been like this? Haruka: A-ah... I-it’s a habit... W-When I feel tense I grip my hands really tight, and my nails...

This detail has caused me to wonder if Haruka didn’t actually kill the dog. We see child Haruka looking for the dog nervously, and then appearing horrified when he finds the dogs corpse, then he looks down at his hands and sees blood on them. We also only see adult Haruka bludgeoning the dog. It’s common for people with PTSD to re-experience trauma from different perspectives, or with details changed, so it’s possible that Haruka did not kill the dog.

However, at this point, I think either explanation could be possible, so I’ll leave both of those theories here and move on.

Later, when it shows adult Haruka strangling child Haruka, I believe that this is when Haruka’s Milgram murder takes place. Before he begins strangling his child self, he is seen looking at a memory of himself being ignored by his mother, and becomes enraged, lashing out at his child self and strangling him, seemingly in an act of self-loathing.

However, I believe that Haruka is actually murdering his mother, having finally snapped and let out all of his repressed feelings. After the murder is over, I believe that Haruka was so horrified by what he did, he went into denial - which is something he has practice from doing his whole life - and the details of what he did became distorted.

In conclusion, I believe the following:

The MV takes the form of Haruka’s nightmares, which is why it’s ambiguous, unreliable and distorted

Haruka was emotionally abused and neglected by his mother since childhood

Haruka didn’t kill the girl, but he does blame himself for what happened to her

EITHER: Haruka killed the dog to try and get his mother to notice him, OR Haruka didn’t kill the dog but still in some way blames himself for the dog’s death

Haruka killed his mother directly due to his repressed feelings of anger towards her for abusing and neglecting him

Haruka is horrified by what he did, and on some level is in denial of the facts of what happened

Misc Analysis

Undercover

Haruka’s bedroom has toys that would be more appropriate in the bedroom of a young child. This shows that he is mentally stuck in a child-like state. Interestingly, there is also a drawing of a tree with two snakes that also appears during his MV. I don’t know what this means.

Haruka is shown strangling Es, which backs up the idea that Haruka’s murder happened when he was shown strangling his child self. Haruka’s mouth is wide open, showing that his murder involved heightened emotion on his part. This wasn’t a cold and calculated murder, this was a spur-of-the-moment response to something.

Interrogation Questions

I’m picking a few notable interrogation questions to analyse. In general, though, Haruka’s answers were much simpler than Yuno’s, which shows his child-like mindset and difficulty in understanding things.

Q: If one of your wishes could be granted, what would it be? A: I want to be loved.

Pretty straightforwards. This shows Haruka’s core motivation is to be loved.

Q: When was your first love? A: I don’t know.

Q: What’s the difference between romantic love and just love? A: Don’t they both mean that you like someone?

Q: What’s your ideal date plan? A: I don’t understand.

Despite his core motivation being wanting to be loved, Haruka doesn’t understand much about love, due to having been deprived of it his whole life.

Q: What kind of person is your father? A: I disappointed him.

This is the only time we hear of Haruka’s father. I’d guess that his mother blamed Haruka for his father leaving them, and that’s why he believes that he disappointed his father.

Q: Have you ever had a pet before? A: I have not.

Q: What is your favourite animal? A: I don’t like animals.

Q: What are some things you can’t deal with? A: Small children and animals.

Haruka denies any incident that was traumatic to him.

Q: What do you think of your family? A: I love them.

Despite having been deprived of love from his mother, he still says he loves them.

Q: Tell us what you enjoy doing. A: I like talking with the other prisoners.

Haruka talks about what he’s been doing since coming to Milgram, which implies that he didn’t have much he enjoyed doing beforehand.

Two Breaths Walking

A song about a boy meeting a girl. The girl tries to teach the boy about life, but due to the boy’s mother having taught him about life wrongly, he struggles to understand, and as a result ends up hurting the girl.

With Haruka as the boy, the girl in his MV as the girl, and his mother as the boy’s mother, this directly parallels Haruka’s MV. There isn’t much to talk about, because the parallels are pretty direct. It backs up the idea that Haruka’s mother was abusive, teaching him wrongly through her abuse and neglect.

Voice Drama

Es: Now, let’s begin the interrogation. Prisoner Number 1, Haruka. Haruka: O-Okay… I-I’m sorry… Es: Huh? Do you have something to apologise for? Haruka: U-uh, no… I’m sorry.

This shows us Haruka’s submissive personality. This kind of apologising for any perceived fault is very common in survivors of emotional abuse, because they learnt in the abusive environment that their abuser could find fault in anything, and to lower the severity of abuse, they would apologise. However, as this level of apologising isn’t needed or expected in regular situations, when it carries over it stands out.

Haruka: Ah, uh, um… I didn’t understand whatever it was you were saying. It was difficult. Es: Huh? Haruka: Uh, um… I’m sorry. I’m not that bright. Es: Haruka. What age are you? Haruka: Um… 17 years old, I think. Es: You think? Haruka: Uh, well… I have no interest in my age… I’m sorry.

Haruka isn’t used to having to think for himself, which is also common in survivors of emotional abuse. Abusers try to make their victims dependent on them, they may try to make decisions for their victims, or in the case of abusive parents may speak for them and deprive their children of the ability to develop. Taking into account Haruka’s cover song, I think it’s likely that this was the case with his mother.

Es: The only name left that hasn’t been said is Amane. Haruka: A-Amane. Es: What’s wrong? Haruka: I-I’m not good with them. Children at that age. A-Amane is a good girl, but she brings back b-bad memories.

This is most likely referring to whatever happened with the girl in Haruka’s MV. Haruka avoids thinking about traumatic incidents, even in his nightmares he avoids the details of them. Avoiding triggers of traumatic events is a symptom of PTSD.

Haruka: It’ll happen sometime. I… I… Even though I try to be normal, everything gets ruined. You, everyone, if you knew me… If you knew everything that I did… I’m… gonna be abandoned, that’s bound to happen. Because I’m a selfish killer.

Due to his abuse, Haruka solely blames himself for everything that happens. It’s likely that his mother blames him even for things that weren’t his fault, so this thought process stuck. Haruka’s primary motivation is love, and his biggest fear is abandonment.

Glitched Voice Line

Then what should I have done instead!? Tell me! Tell me so even I can understand!

I believe that this line from Haruka is addressed to his mother who he killed. He felt that he had no way to gain her love, and he is looking to her to tell him what to do.

Other Theories

Twin Theory

A theory I’ve seen says that the child in Haruka’s MV isn’t Haruka as a child, and is actually his twin. I don’t think we have any evidence to support this. I think that, given how much of Haruka’s MV is made up with abstract imagery, we should be careful with interpreting it too literally.

Autistic Haruka Theory

I have no issue with people seeing Haruka as being autistic, however, all of the theories about him being autistic seem to come from an outdated view of autism. I am autistic myself, and while I can recognise a lot of autistic traits in Haruka’s behaviour, I don’t think autism is what they were going for. I think that Haruka’s ‘autistic traits’ are, instead, supposed to show that he’s in a child-like mentality after a trauma that took place in his childhood, and that his behaviour has been strongly influenced by his abusive mother. I believe we have evidence that points towards this specifically, but no evidence that points specifically towards Haruka being autistic.

Unexplained

Why does Haruka say that his hands bleed when he’s nervous and what connection does that have to the blood on his hands in the MV?

What is the significance of the necklace that Haruka wears?

What is the significance of the girl in the MV?

What happened while watching the fireworks?

Did Haruka kill the girl?

What’s the significance of the tree and the snakes?

Final Verdict

My Verdict: Innocent.

I’m very glad that the popular vote determined that Haruka was innocent! My major reasons for this are: 

1. His MV is the most abstract right now - it’s unclear exactly what happened, so any judgement based on his crime is going to be difficult. 2. For Haruka to open up more, I think he needs to be reassured that he will not be abandoned. I think that Haruka’s second MV will give us more details, because we have reassured him that he will not be abandoned.

Thank you for reading this ridiculously long thing! I hope to write these for all of the prisoners, and eventually catch up to where we currently are with the voting! If you enjoyed my analysis, please consider sharing so it can reach a wider audience!

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

it’s a fucking metaphor!

Titans 3.08

i’ve finally gathered the mental and emotional resources to do this thing, so let’s go! as always, i’m typing this up as i see the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. on watching this opening scene, i was thinking back to how gar was in s1, or even the early bits of s2. the way he idolised the others, particularly dick, and his readiness to go along with whatever they said, and the way he practically bled the need for acceptance. and here he is now, openly defying dick, fully open to and aware of the flaws of the people he loves and admires, knowing he is accepted no matter what and extending that generosity elsewhere. it’s a remarkable bit of character growth that’s... sort of blossomed in the background and so rewarding to see and acknowledge. 

1.25. i guess what i really love about this conflict over how to respond to jason--as clumsily as it is sometimes written--is how their histories and individual traumas inform each character’s reaction. dick is torn between his guilt over what’s become of jason and his drive to do what batman had essentially given up on doing: he is motivated to track down red hood at all costs but there’s a sense that he’s not completely sold on the idea that the only way to stop him is to kill him. (he might go the comics route and try to put him in arkham? god, imagine if the season ended with jason in arkham.) kory’s never had much of a connection with jason in the first place, and jason has done one of the worst things he could do in her book: track and kill a member of her newfound family and is threatening to kill more. 

and gar... sure. look. the idea of jason and red hood as separate entities appeals to him; that red hood emerged when jason was drugged to the gills by scarecrow and lost his usual inhibitions. gar’s struggled with what he becomes when he’s pushed to his limits, too--he did rip open that experimenting scientist with his teeth way back in 1.07, after all, and he was brainwashed by cadmus in s2 into becoming a literal monster. he needs to think, to know, there’s a dichotomy, a line that can only be crossed under extreme duress or by outside influence. 

and he says--and we say--that he was accepted back into the titans in spite of what he’d done, but was he really? gar’s always struggled with his footing in this group; relegated to the caretaker, the tech guy, the gatekeeper, and sometimes punching bag even though everybody’s paying lip service to how much of a family they all are. perhaps gar reaching out to jason and offering acceptance is aspirational on his part: perhaps this is the effort he hoped the titans put/or will put into getting gar back, even when it would seem like he’s too far gone.

1.5. anyway my point is that i don’t think it’s worth discussing this in terms of right/wrong decisions because all of their reactions make a lot of sense given their backgrounds/personalities. gar is doing a fine job here of tracking down jason’s friends and trying to find him that way, but we the audience know that jason is ultimately going to end up an anti-hero/eventually-hero character, so with that knowledge in mind we know that gar’s reaction is the right one. it’s knowledge that the other characters don’t have, so to judge them on it is... uh, unfair.

1.8. also, molly is awesome, yay!

2. dick and barbara flirting over the phone is so cute! i love to see this side of dick: lighter, peppier, willing (even if somewhat reluctantly) to put his mission aside to go out on a date with his girlfriend. and i love how easy this makes his dynamic with kory too: it’s all very domestic and utterly delightful. 

(also, re: the water leak in barbara’s office--you’re saying GCPD could afford fancy-schmancy table-wide touch screen computers and evil-lair lighting but needs its frickin’ commissioner to catch leaking water from above her desk with mugs and fishbowls????)

2.2225. this is probably a teeny tiny thing and i’m not sure i want to bring it up at all BUT. the fact that dick feels compelled to lie to barbara about not liking fancy gala food and eating something more substantial before the date? not a terribly great sign, though i wouldn’t call it a red flag per se. 

“this from a man who forced his students to eat cauliflower crust pizza...”

3. so.... conner and kom are a Thing. huh.

in theory i really like the idea of them bonding over an innate alien-ness and longing for a place they could really belong. both of them are alien twice-over: conner a mix of kryptonian and human, practically generated in a test tube, and kom being somebody that was born different and rejected by her own people, now stuck on a planet dominated by an entirely different species. i even like them exploring this bond physically. i guess it’s the sense of... uneasiness around what we do and don’t know about kom that makes this scene land slightly left of centre to me. i think titans, especially through s2, has cultivated in its audience a sense of distrust even until the final episode, just in case somebody vital to the season is suddenly revealed to have had ulterior motives (i’m even low-key suspicious of leslie). i really want to see this kom-conner dynamic play out but the anticipation of watching the other shoe drop is sucking out the enjoyment.

4. for fuck’s sake dick, gar’s not your gatekeeper.

TIIIIIIIIMMMMM \O/

4.5. i love this nod to tim’s origins in the comics, the way he just comes in and lays out all his evidence and makes it clear to dick that he needs tim’s help as robin. the fact that he was there at the flying graysons’ last performance, he was obsessed with their acrobatic moves, and was observant enough to connect those moves with that of robin and later nightwing... all of this came together to put him where he is right now.

(i also love how he can’t contain his giddy excitement when talking about the day dick grayson’s parents died... to dick grayson. even if dick weren’t nightwing, that would be a deeply uncomfortable thing! yet tim can’t help himself, and i love him for it.)

4.8. it’s a testament to how much dick’s caught off-guard that he can’t come up with a better response to tim’s allegations other than “uh... he stole my moves! as you know, no two gymnasts in the world are allowed to do the same moves. now, let me escort you out while pretending poorly that i’m not at all shaken by this...”

4.9. i’ve talked about this before, but i find the logic around secret identities in this universe utterly fascinating. the titans don’t make much effort in keeping their identities secret: everybody seems to know that kory is starfire for instance, or that gar is beast boy. dick grayson is seen hanging out with kory a lot, especially at crime scenes. it won’t take a lot of sleuthing to find out that the titans are currently camped out at wayne manor, and to put two and two together.

my theory was that superheroes and villains have become such an integral part of daily society that it’s almost not worth it to seek out their secret identities, or that it’s just not a big deal anymore. like politicians or diplomats, not everybody bothers to look into who exactly their local politician is, but the people who know just... know. it’s a sort of unspoken social contract.

tim’s broken this contract by confronting dick about his identity, and dick’s not ready to deal with it. not entirely.

look at him! *pinches his cheeks*

5. ngl, it was quite satisfying to see jason knock the scarecrow out like that. 

5.5. i guess... the question of jason’s culpability is always going to be a thorny one and would make for a great courtroom drama spinoff. there are a number of factors to consider: jason’s personality, the rough circumstances under which he grew up, his undoubtedly stressful transition to being robin, bruce wayne being... well, bruce wayne, never feeling accepted by the titans and having most of them turn on him, being roundly defeated and almost killed by deathstroke, alfred’s death, a fuckload of ptsd, his violent death, crane’s manipulations, coming back to life, crane plying him with a drug. but there is no easy line to draw between any of these factors to his actions. i think it would be a disservice to jason’s character to attribute his actions entirely to these things and rather irresponsible to do so. i think jason has to reckon with the fact that when he took crane’s drug, he wasn’t reckless and chaotic like the thugs he gave it to; the planning that went into hank’s death was meticulous and the way hank died--dawn essentially tricked into pulling the trigger that blew her lover into bits--is so drawn out and cruel. 

5.75. it’s occurring to me that crane might have given jason a placebo. maybe jason’s dependence is psychological, and he’s externalised his fears in such a way that he believes crane’s drugs literally wipe them out, however temporarily.

in any case, the boy needs (more) therapy.

6. “he walked like robin...” fuck, tim

“gait recognition sweep” god, this show. i don’t know whether to laugh or cry. hey, once we’re done doing this gait recognition thingy, can we get a goddamn plumber in the house??? or move the commissioner’s desk so that sewage water isn’t dripping on her head or the million dollar touchscreen desk???????

6.5. oh no dick!!!!!! i am delighted that you got hurt but i feel ashamed about it! that looked like it really hurt!

he’s really not having a good time of it, is he. from being shot by a sniper to slamming at full speed into an suv, he’s got to be really fucking battered by now. and that’s just the physical side of it.

“can you believe that just over a week ago i was sitting in san francisco eating cauliflower crust pizza and feeling good about myself for the first time in five years...”

7. kory’s having visions again! now that she’s figured what they are, do you think the show’s just dropped justin? it’s curious that HPG hasn’t been brought up in a while after featuring relatively heavily in the beginning. hmmm.

8. dick’s in hospital but... he looks remarkably whole for someone who took a spill like that. you’d think he’d at least have a bruise to show for it. on the other hand, i love that the first thing he says is ‘i need to call home’. reminds me of season 1 dick and his clumsy attempts to explain away his found family as an ‘alliance of necessity’ or some bullshit. what a long way he’s come!

*gasp* dick’s hallucinating again!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m doing the dick’s hallucinating dance! can you believe that we’re carrying over these huge honking issues unearthed in season 2 onto season 3? can you believe?!!! all that time and effort i spent talking about dick’s mental health from last season has not gone in vain!!

... ahem. anyway. more on this later.

“hold on barbara, i think kory gave me the number to this therapist that she kept calling Hot Psychiatrist Guy...”

9. just an interlude to say that i’m barely halfway through the episode and i’ve already written 2k+ words... ugh. i’m going to try and be more concise.

10. man i fuckin love it when titans goes all out with its weird mindscapes and i’m extra glad that kory’s the focus this time. is that baby kom or maybe a secret sibling that neither of them knew about? was that lady luand’r? and is this place where kory was circling where the secret sibling is? it’s all very intriguing. 

(if justin turned out to be that sibling... we’ve a real luke/leia situation on our hands.)

11. aw, i knew that nice security guard was going to die, but it still hurt to see him go :(

12. this show is so bizarre. like i get the mindscape as a narrative device, but jason using sex workers to try and vocalise his guilt about killing hank was just weird. like. i have to use tamil, sorry: idhulaan yaaru pa room pottu yosikara??? some things just can’t be translated into a second language.

i guess one way to interpret jason’s reckoning with what he did to the titans as a sign of him coming off crane’s drug, but i think it’s more to do with the disillusionment of realising that he was a mere pawn in a more sinister plan, and not, as he thought, a player in control of his destiny, rising to the purpose of liberating gotham of its fears in a way batman never could. along the way, he’s done some truly irreversible damage. it’s a bitter pill to swallow.

13. another hallucination! it’s really intriguing that it’s a young dick(?), younger than we’ve ever seen him, wearing an early-era robin costume from way before he even became robin. (this is also interesting in that it gives credence to the idea that ‘robin’ is an identity that dick created entirely on his own, and as a possible homage to his family.)

“old road, old house... it’s all gone.” i wonder what it all means.

13.5. it’s entirely likely dick’s hallucinating because of a brain injury from the accident, though just hallucinations without any other focal neurological deficit is unusual. he might’ve been microdosed with fear toxin at some point, though i wonder when... did jason do so after dick’s accident? did he get dosed at the factory from last episode? 

it’s also possible it’s a continuing manifestation of dick’s issues from last season--which, if you remember, he never told anyone about and therefore never properly addressed. maybe he was hallucinating bruce wayne in a psychotic episode accompanying an acute stress reaction and maybe that’s what’s happening now. nobody’s denying that he’s under an extraordinary amount of stress right now. another way to look at it is that this is how he externalises conflict that he can’t bear to suppress anymore; if in s2 halluci!bruce manifested his insecurities and self-loathing, then these hallucinations... something to do with his fears, no doubt.

yet ANOTHER way to look at it might be: rachel is reaching out to him through their, well, psychic bond. after all, they were able to use that bond unconsciously last season to get the titans back together; maybe rachel has learned to gain a degree of control over it in themyscira and is sending across warnings? it’s all very intriguing.

anyway:

“i hear you skipped over the discowing suit in your evolution to nightwing... how could you??”

14. can you imagine, gar did all the work of reaching out to jason via molly and jason wants to meet dick? smh.

14.5. “i’m just a regular guy doing regular things” he says, standing at the opening of a secret old tunnel, like a secret person doing secret things, confronting someone who can now officially be called his stalker. neither of you guys are ‘regular’

14.8. ‘my dad was a cop and he taught me how to investigate’ - hmmm. i guess they’re trying to Explain Tim but i don’t think that’s really necessary. so he’s smart and he’s obsessed with batman and robin--that should be enough, imo. 

15. that scene with scarecrow and his mother was... wow. i’m just laughing here helplessly, because what the hell? for a while i thought it was an extended dream sequence and i’m still not entirely sure that it isn’t...

anyway. i still love that titans is happy to throw out its plot in favour of extended character-exploration sessions.

15.5. it seems to me that this scene with crane and his mother (i have no idea if there’s anything in the comics similar to this) serves to move forward this season’s theme of harmful legacies and how parents can damage their children in the name of their mission. in a way it’s been the underlying message of the entire show but we’re really seeing it being reinforced this season. the titans, serving as a foil to scarecrow, are using the damage to rebuild themselves and actually work through their issues together, instead of spiralling further and further into the morass of their issues.

other than that... god, that scene was painful to watch. i can’t say i like this version of scarecrow or how this actor plays him at all.

16. i wonder what’s jason’s play here. i think he’s smart enough to realise that the titans aren’t going to just forgive him and let him be a titan again after what he did, and that dick agreeing to it is just a bid to pin both him and crane down. maybe it’s a ploy to trap them, get back on scarecrow’s good books so that he can have the drug again. who knows.

17. i absolutely felt dick when he said “we’ll bring him in and then re-assess the situation.” what the fuck else is he going to say? the priority is to get him.

so kory and dick are both hallucinating while potentially trying to rehabilitate their murderous siblings. CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER ALREADY

18. TIM NOOOO! you beautiful, reckless fool!

18.25. just to quickly address it here because i know it’s been brought up before: i think it’s perfectly justified to not have conner take tim to the hospital via superspeed because a) i don’t think we’ve seen conner do that with anybody so far and b) it’s probably not a good idea to submit tim’s body to that kind of stress without knowing what it would do to him. the paramedics with actual equipment and experience would be there in a few minutes, so on a risk assessment, i would say dick and conner absolutely made the right call.

18.5. i guess we won’t know what jason really intended to when the titans came to the pump to see him, but this is definitely going to set a big wedge in his relationship with crane. then again, crane got what he wanted--using starfire’s powers to blast through to the underground pipes--so jason can argue that this is exactly what he was working towards, too. 

anyway, mortal peril, hallucinations, murderous family members, creepy visions and robins sprouting left and right. time to get rachel and donna on the scene, i think.