#in the same way being crushed by weighted blankets is comfortable? like it kinda keeps me grounded? idk
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scumlafeccia · 9 months ago
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stayandot8 · 2 years ago
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For Your Eyes Only
Genre: fluff
Relationship type: established boyfriend/girlfriend
Important Contents: Hiiiiiiiii I'm back! I've been so stuck with real life things that I haven't really been writing anything but my series and then I saw this in my ideas an it kinda just all hit me at once so I just wrote it down and now it's yours. I hope you haven't missed me too much ;) Hopefully part 3 of JOY will be done soon and I can give it to you, I'm dying to get it done and post it so you can see where I want to take it. But anyways, here's this one. I hope you like it. ♥
WC: 1.2k
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“No, everything’s fine. It’s fine.” He would start with himself every few minutes, repeating those same words over and over until he would fall silent again. The screen on my phone had long since blackened out, lucky for my boyfriend that my phone had been charging all night for exactly this occasion. He was always working while he was away, the occasional clicking of his keyboard the only sign of life on the other side of the static. He never took a break, never sat still long enough unless he was required to.
“Chris, didn’t you just get off stage?” My voice was groggy, being the middle of the night in my time zone starting to weigh on my eyelids more and more the longer we talked. The silk of my own sheets had grown foreign, unfamiliar compared to the worn, cotton sheets of Chan’s bed. I practically lived over there now, half his dresser drawers had my things in them. His shared bathroom had four drawers next to the sink, which now held Chan’s hairbrush and my collection of face masks that he liked to do with me. My toothbrush was kept in a travel case tucked in with a small hairbrush of my own, kept safely away from Chan’s serums and vitamins he needed to keep himself healthy. 
“You know the only reason I ever slow down is because you force me to. I don’t feel like I can  unless I’m being told to by a very pretty girl who threatens to sit on me unless I step away from my computer. Not that I would mind that…” His voice trails off, his lingering suggestiveness sending shivers straight down my back. 
“Well, unfortunately I’m not there to threaten you to sleep. I’m stuck behind this device that lets me talk to you when you’re so far from me.” I tucked my blanket even further under my chin, itching for the comfort of his warmth while settling for the empty space. 
“Yes, how dare you be so far from me.” Hearing his smile through his words was the only way I knew he was okay. With all his work piling up all the time, it was the little things I had to look for as signals. 
“Why are you working right now if you just got off stage though, baby? Come lay down with me.” 
“What were you saying before? Why were you saying everything’s fine?”
“What do you mean?”
“Before, you kept saying everything’s fine, that it was okay.”
“Oh, did I? I didn’t even notice. Don’t worry about it, it’s…”
“FIne?”
A pause. “Yeah.” He sighed, deflating. 
“Chris?”
“Yeah?”
“Talk to me?” A longer pause.
“I just don’t want to dump it all on you. It’s my weight to carry, not yours.”
“You might think that but that’s not how I feel. That’s what a partnership is. Your bullshit is my bullshit, so to speak. And my bullshit is your bullshit. Do you feel like I’m dumping on you when I tell you what’s happening at work?”
“No, not at all. I love when you tell me that stuff.”
“Exactly. So lay it all on me. Let me carry some of your bullshit. Or else you’ll be crushed by the weight of it. Please? I want to hear it. It helps me feel close to you when I can’t be right there with you all the time. I want it all, I want the good stuff and the bad stuff. Show me everything. Every bad thought, everything you couldn’t and can’t show anyone else. That’s what I'm here for.”
This silence was different, like he was collecting his thoughts to finally let them tumble out. 
“It’s just hard, ya know? Sometimes it feels like it’s all on me. Like our success depends just on me. And I know it doesn’t, but sometimes it feels like that.” And on and on he went, telling me about the depth of the weight on his shoulders, how his relationships have been suffering because of it. His parents always tell him how proud they are, but it never quite feels the same. 
“I miss them, so much it hurts me when they call. But I barely have time to talk because of the amount of work piling up. The public decisions that need to be made, the tracks that still need to be done, things it feels like only I can do so it’s only on me.”
“You haven’t told any of them this, have you.” It wasn’t a question, really. I knew he wouldn’t because-
“No, I don’t want them to have to worry about this stuff.” There it is.
“Baby, you can’t keep all of this to yourself though. They’re grown adults, they can handle it. You have to trust them enough to know that. They’ve asked, haven’t they? I know they have. Let them carry some of the load. It may have started as your group, you may have put it together but it’s all of yours now. It’s time to share the responsibility, Chris. It’s okay. You’re allowed to lighten your load, even if it’s bit by bit.” 
He took a deep inhale and let it out. “If I could fly, I’d be coming right back home to you.”
“It’s where you belong.”
“You’re like the other half of me that got taken and then just put into another person. I'm only at this comfort level with you." I heard the sheets rustle as he finally laid down. I smiled at that thought.
“I’m missing half of me when we’re apart.” 
“And it makes me sad, my love.”
“Just get through this next month and then we’ll take a week off and go anywhere you want, just the two of us.” It was a nice idea, knowing he would agree then it wouldn’t happen because he would get bored and start working again anyways. But I could dream.
“Yeah, I’d like to explore around here some more if I could. Take pictures of everything I would want to show you and send them to you. You’d love it here.”
“Where are you guys again?”
“Jakarta.”
‘Well, if you do get a day off there, find something you can bring home. Add it to my ever-growing collection.” I glanced over at my own dresser, filled with trinkets of things he would bring back for me from every place he went for work. Little figurines, patches of beautiful cloth, necklaces and chains with pendants attached all scattered the top. I had made a new open spot for whatever he would bring me this time, not knowing how big or long of a space it would need. 
“I’ve already got it for you. I think you’re really going to love it.” His voice was getting deeper now, his words becoming slower as they reached my ears. 
“Oh yeah? Are you going to tell me anything else or do I have to guess?”
“I’m not telling you anything, you’re just going to have to be patient.” The smirk was palpable through the speaker of my phone. I shook my head as much as I could with my cheek flat against my pillow. 
“You’re so rude.”
“I miss you too.”
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definitely18 · 2 years ago
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THSC headcanons feat. Charles and Henry
Headcanon dumping time
Charles
does origami (stars, hearts, cranes, helicopters, Hatsune Miku) and teaches Henry
cannot use chopsticks
Libra, probably born in October
either 6 months older or younger than Henry
parents killed in action at 18 (welcome to adulthood! no need to worry about being kicked out if your parents are dead, I'm sorry)
Either hopeless romantic outsmarted by Henry's pretend/actual denseness, or a hopeless romantic who somehow can't see Henry clearly crushing on him and keeps telling said person he's like an older brother
has a hero complex
Occasionally kicks off Henry when both are sleeping in a bed and occupies the most of the bed
Optimistically threatening ["Good vibes will be coming your way! You can't stop 'em <3"]
loves giving presents
has a shit ton of hoodies
banned from entering the kitchen alone after the toast incident
likes music in general but leans towards vocaloid
pretty chill and calm (kinda stoic)
reads fanfics [yes he knows what smut is]
once tried to carry Henry bridal style but almost dropped him because he doesn't lift
loves coffee candy, hates coffee
basically give him anything sweet and he'll sacrifice himself for you
probably has a Hatsune Miku, Kaito and Meiko cosplay
Henry
my fashion comfort character [layers, long sleeves, collars, turtlenecks, scarves]
Aries, born on 1st April
decent at cooking
very petty and spiteful as fuck
Either pretends to not get Charles' hints as he's also confused on whether he actually likes Charles or doesn't, or hopelessly in love with Charles who can't get a hint at all
the blanket hoarder and cuddles the fuck out of Charles especially when he's at the edge of the bed
wants a pet raccoon and a hen
gamer boi
dramatic, expressive bitch
a little insecure about his voice so he doesn't speak much
constantly forgets to eat and/or has difficulty gaining weight (dude's like 183cm and 50kg like what I'm 155cm and the same weight as him)
may have prosopagnosia/face blindness
has a bunch of scars from serious and dumb things [scar from a knife fight, tripped and got scratched, bullet wound, fought a goose]
gets sick easily
Both (either romantic or platonic I don't give a fuck)
holds hands
sometimes sleeps in the same bed
cuddles
forehead touches, forehead kisses
nicknames for each other [Charles - Char Char, The Charrer, Chase, Charz, Angel; Henry - Henny, Hen Hen, Hence, Minute, Mint, Min Min, En, Cupcake] (I clearly have never came up with nicknames for friends)
hardly uses the one brain cell they share
leans onto each other
puts their head onto their shoulder
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yoichichi · 4 years ago
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How They Cuddle
karasuno x reader
warning(s): none ! :)
a/n: some sweet luv for the hq boys :) I’m planning on doing a part for the other fandoms I write for too - aot, bnha, & jjk - as well as the rest of the hq teams/characters - so keep an eye out if you’d like! And as always I love interacting w you guys :) feel free to leave comments/flood my inbox :D!
characters: daichi, asahi, sugawara, nishinoya, tanaka, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kageyama, hinata, yachi, & kiyoko
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Daichi
He’s a hugger for sure! If you’re on your phone, or reading, or doing anything before bed he’s snuggling up behind you and resting his head on your shoulder to watch what you’re doing - he’s nosey like that. Anyways, being the big spoon is a very convenient cuddling position for that, and he gets to wrap you up and hold you close <3
Through the night though he slowly scoots down off his pillow in his sleep, so when you wake up his face is nuzzled into the middle of your upper back with his arms still squeezing around your midsection so tight you know you’d have to wake him up to get him to let go 😭 he’s also for sure a light snorer, but it’s ok he makes up for it by being cute or whtv 🙄
Asahi
Another spooner! He’s not particularly bias to being the big or little spoon but he just can’t face you 😭
There’s a few reasons: 1) it makes him freak out and it’s like he can feel your eyes on him even if they’re closed. He’ll be constantly peeking one eye open to look at your face and he’s half scared he’s gonna open them and you’re gonna be staring at him like 👁👁 LMAO
2) the breath on his face tickles too much and will eventually start to irritate him and he gets pouty cause it makes it tough to sleep
And 3) what if he’s making a weird face in his sleep and you wake up to see it 😭
So spooning for the win it is
Sugawara
I don’t think he’d be a big fan of being held, it makes him feel too claustrophobic and he’d feel kinda bad moving you off of him if he had to use the bathroom in the middle of the night :( I also think he tosses n turns a bit while sleeping so holding him wouldn’t be the best option anyways, however!
He likes touching/lightly intertwining legs - one reason is because you can kind of get away with it from any angle but still find a comfortable position that suits you, the other reason is because his feet get cold in the middle of the night and this is the easiest way to steal your warmth
Nishinoya
Ok ok, so I know it’s cliche - but I do think he’s a teensy bit too excited for bedtime cuddles! Not in a restless way, he’s just too excited with the act of actually cuddling you, like every time. Day cuddles are different! When the two of you have some alone time and he’s snuggled up with you on the couch, leaving a bunch of kisses (his favorite are Eskimo kisses), periodically grabbing your face so your lips pucker and leaving a dramatic kiss there after he talks about how cute you are (“oh my god you’re so adorable I could crush you ☹️🥺”), and then squeezing you so tight sometimes your back even cracks, it’s fine! You’re not trying to sleep so it’s just sweet Noya doting on you - but you can see how this would be a problem when y’all are tryna get some shut eye 😭
Solution: back to back, but touching so you can still feel each other’s closeness <3, bonus: every time Noya becomes aware your guys’ butts are touching he giggles and wiggles a little until you remind him it’s time to sleep 😭
Tanaka
Ok but he needs to have a hand on your ass and not even in a sexual way 😪🤚🏼 he just grabs on naturally or rests his hand there and sometimes lovingly pats it when he kisses your cheek before either going back to falling asleep or being on his phone or smth :)
He also loves burying his face in your neck, it just feels so soothing to him and he also finds your smell so relaxing and makes him feel all warm inside! Like when he sees you after a long day he loves wrapping you up in a big hug and leaving kisses in the crook of your neck and burying his face there cause he just missed you sm <3
Yamaguchi
Very much like Hinata he also adores being intertwined with you!! He finds it particularly comforting with your face buried in his chest or neck while he has his legs wrapped up with yours. He thinks it’s the best position to lean down and press a kiss to the top of your head (his favorite kind of sweet kiss), which he always does right before he feels himself drifting off to sleep.
He also likes rubbing your back/neck this way until you fall asleep, or while you talk about anything you wanna talk about. Waking up this way is also his favorite, and if you guys have moved in your sleep, you bet he’s pulling you back into a hug. He periodically squeezes you in his arms, leaves feather light kisses to your shoulder, runs his hands up and down your back, sure you probably won’t be asleep for much longer now with all this movement, but he just can’t help it with how sweet you look sleeping! Don’t worry though he’ll keep up the soothing while you wake up and talk about your dreams and what you want for breakfast :)!
Tsukishima
Not much of a cuddly guy throughout the day but when bedtime rolls around you bet your ass he’s expecting some kind of physical affection. His favorite is when he lays on his back with his arm out so you can nuzzle into his side, and once you’re all comfortable he wraps said arm around you to pull you in close.
Your favorite is when he runs his hand up and down your side or draws little designs with his fingers on any exposed skin. His favorite is when you bring your face up to rest in the crook of his neck or rest your head on his chest, any light kisses you leave or the breath that puffs out of you and hits his neck every now and then never fails to give him goosebumps and make him blush.
Kageyama
I don’t think he’s particularly ~stiff cuddling with you but I definitely think it’s not his forte when it comes to bed time! He just finds a comfortable spot - usually on his side or back - and that’s that! He’s found it and is gonna be out in approximately 2 minutes, but he does love feeling you in bed next to him :(
A good compromise he’s decided is reaching his hand out next to him him so he can hold onto your hand while he sleeps, or being the little spoon! It actually feels super comforting to him to feel you all cuddled up to his back and keeping him warm no matter if you’re bigger or smaller than him <3 he also loves the way he has to pry your arms off of him when he has to get up in those early mornings, or the way he feels your face squish up against his back sometimes, he just loves you.
Hinata
He definitely gets hot in his sleep but he love love loves cuddling with you, so you’ll always start off wrapped up in each other somehow. Usually face to face with your legs intertwined cause he thinks talking to each other about any and everything is a good way to wind down before bed - and I mean anything. Sometimes it’s just him asking you odd questions he’s been thinking about recently before one of you remembers you can google it
But no matter how you two fall asleep at first, you always wake up clinging onto his sprawled out body (probably because he’s kicked the blanket onto the floor and you got chilly in your sleep) or far away from him with all the blanket to yourself as he peacefully snores beside you <3
Yachi
Play with her hair and she’s KNOCKED 100%! She also loves either holding you or being held, but there’s got to be SOME kind of holding going on for her heart to feel full <333
She’s also the queen of surprise hugs from behind once you’ve been together for a fair bit and she feels more comfy being publicly affectionate with you! And if you do the same to her it never fails to make her smile or cover her face cause she’s blushing from surprise
“(Y/n)!! You startled me!” And now you have a very excited & giggly gf 😽😽
Kiyoko
I personally see her as a pretty religious back sleeper so the most ideal position is you in her side or you laying between her legs while she holds you and your head is resting on her chest. PERSONALLY she prefers the second one but she leaves it up to you <3
She just thinks it’s most ideal how she could reach down and trace her fingers lightly on the side of your face; or play with your hair if she’s able to; or rub your neck, back, and shoulders to ease any stress from your day. She’s a big giver of private affection and thinks it’s so cute when you’re so tuckered out you she wakes up with a little drool on her shirt. Not to mention your weight and warmth is super comforting to her ! And even if she wouldn’t admit it, she likes being able to use not wanting to move and wake you as an excuse to get 5 more minutes of you cuddling with her.
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Ahhhh hehehehe I hope you like and comments and all that jazz are always appreciated!! Big smooches :)
taglist: @plutowrites @sweet-darling91
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bakusquad-assemble · 3 years ago
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Can I request a Sero x reader/Bakusquad x reader who is dealing with a panic attack after Class 1A deals with yet another villain. Also no rush and I absolutely love your writing!
Aw, thank you so so much! I love being able to write for you! I also love all the love Sero gets on this blog, I’m not sure I do his character justice but damn we love to see it. No warnings on this one, just some sweet comfort and fluff. Hope you enjoy!
The sound of blaring sirens pierced through the night sky, dark and cold save for the flashing red lights that illuminated the students of class 1A. They sat huddled close together, blankets pulled tightly around their shoulders in attempts to bring them some semblance of comfort. It seemed as if your class was a target for misfortune, like the group of students were always in the wrong place at the wrong time. If you were being honest with yourself, the fear of the evil lurking around the corner at any given moment was really starting to get to you. You all somehow managed to escape each attack relatively unscathed, except for a few cuts and bruises that would heal in time, but you were still shaken to your core every time and couldn’t find the strength to keep it down any longer. You’re not quite sure when you started crying, letting the salty tears soak down your blood stained cheeks, but you didn’t even attempt to quell them. You let them consume you, wracking your body with sobs in hopes that it would bring you some solace. Instead you felt your body tremble, your stomach churning with all of the fear that you had kept down for far too long. You slapped your hand over your mouth as you whimpered out involuntarily, in hopes that no one would shift their attention to you.
That hope was shattered almost immediately though as the tall black haired boy who sat next to you straightened his back at attention. He had heard you take in a sharp breath, and upon locking eyes with your form he found his heart dropping in his chest like it was attached to a ton of weights; sinking to the bottom of a treacherous sea with ease. Hanta Sero has had a crush on you for some time now. There was just something about you he found so enticing, like a magnetic force was constantly surrounding you and pulling him in every time he wandered too close. You were best friends, constantly sharing laughs and inside jokes in the hallways at school, or having deep conversations late at night in the dorm common rooms. He cared about you so deeply, and seeing you like this; covered in your own tears and blood and shaking in fear, made him sick to his stomach. He was quick to act, his large hand reaching out for the small of your back to lend you consolation, but when you jumped back from him he quickly pulled away and put his hands up in the most non threatening way he could muster. You hadn’t meant to react like that to Sero’s touch, in fact, you craved his warmth more than ever right now. You wanted nothing more than to be engulfed by his comforting embrace as he whispered his latest horrible joke into your ear- managing to pull a laugh from your salty and cracked lips, but your body was on high alert after tonight. Luckily, Sero understood completely.
“Hey, it’s okay! It’s just me.” He reassured, his hands still up in the air in attempts to show you he meant no harm. He offered a sweet smile, despite feeling that same fear that overtook you, and you felt your body relax ever so slightly. You sniffled, wiping at your eyes with the sleeves of your sweatshirt as the tears continued to spill like rushing waterfalls.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” you choked out, voice barely audible among the commotion that surrounded the two of you, but Sero heard you clear as day. He could see everything he needed to know written in your pinched expression. You were petrified, and he was going to do everything in his power to make you feel better.
“Woah, hey! don’t apologize!” Sero started, cautiously moving his hands down in front of him and reaching out for one of your hands,trying his best to read your expressions as he did so. You didn’t pull away and he delicately wrapped his large hand in your smaller one, his thumb rubbing comforting circles atop your soft skin. He felt his cheeks heat up as he realized he’s never really touched you this intimately before. He tried his best to shake the sensation, and was thankful for the dark night sky for hiding the flush that consumed his features.
“Nothings wrong with you, y/n! I think we’re all a bit shaken up after that and it’s totally normal to be upset.”
The remnants of the dam that you had been holding up broke at Sero’s words, and suddenly you were sobbing uncontrollably and throwing yourself into his arms. The choked noises of anguish gained the attention of some classmates nearby, but you didn’t notice, nor care. You were lost in your own thoughts, in the fear of what could have happened, and the only thing keeping you grounded was Seros arms wrapping tightly around your torso and pulling you in against his chest. He brought the comforting circular motions to your back in efforts to soothe you while he rested his chin comfortably on the top of your head. If you were a bit more aware of your surroundings, perhaps you’d have noticed the way Sero’s heartbeat ran rampant in his chest, or the way his hands got clammy with nerves on your low back, but instead your mind lulled it out.
It was Kaminari’s voice that permeated the air first, though you kept your head situated in Sero’s chest, finding refuge in his closeness.
“Oh man, are they okay?” Kaminari stood awkwardly in front of the two of you, pulling his blanket snuggly over his shoulders to keep it from falling to the ground. Sero’s only response was to pull you in tighter and shake his head. Kaminari sighed out, his voice wavering as if he had just gotten over crying himself. You couldn’t help but look up from the confines of Sero’s chest just a bit, eyebrows pinched up in curiosity.
“Mind if I join you guys? Mineta isn’t exactly the best company in a time like this.” He tried to keep his voice light and playful, shooting your newly emerged face a warm smile. Kaminari didn’t wait for a response,however; instead picking the unoccupied spot next to you and squeezing in tight, enjoying the comfort the closeness brought him.
“Mineta is never good company, Bro. He’s a little scumbag” Sero quipped, sending a smile the electric boy's way. Kaminari chuckled, shrugging defeatedly.
“Hey! he can be funny sometimes!”
“I think that makes you a little scumbag too, dude. ”
You felt your throat stutter as you let out a breathy laugh. It came out choked and water logged, but it was a sweet little laugh nonetheless. Both of their expressions lit up, looking at each other before moving their eyes down to you, shocked by the sweet sound escaping your lips. Sero smiled widely, pulling you in just a bit tighter as he felt your shoulders get lighter. These boys always knew how to pull it out of you, and despite the fear still bubbling deep inside, their playful banter had you feeling kind of normal again.
“Woah, hey! Why didn’t we get an invite to the “we almost died but we didn’t and we still kickin it somehow” snuggle fest? Move over! I need some!” Minas voice was perky per usual, but even you could detect the hints of worry laced between each syllable. She was just able to use her personality to hide it well, something you had never been more envious of than right now. You straightened your back, pulling away from Sero to get a better view of the rest of your friends approaching. You tried your best to wipe your face free of any remnants of your breakdown, though seemingly impossible with the current state you were in. Mina was pulling Kirishima along behind her by the hand, keeping him close for comfort reasons you figured, and a certain scowling blonde wasn’t too far behind. It was as if he was tethered to the redhead, following against his will and dissatisfied with his new change of scenery, yet he continued to follow with a pout and his arms crossed heavily over his chest. After knowing bakugou for so long, though. His demeanor didn’t shake you, nor did his booming tone as he spoke up above the noise.
“The hell you all whining for? Some hero’s you are for being afraid of some lowlife discount villains that couldn’t even kill a bunch of high schoolers!” Kirishima nudged Bakugou hard, causing him to shoot the red haired boy an evil glare. It didn’t shake Kirishima though, he just shook his head at his blonde best friend.
“Read the room, Bakubro. We’re all kinda messed up about it. Even the manliest people get scared sometimes, you should know. ” Bakugou clicked his tongue in frustration, dropping onto the ground with a thud and pulling his knee up to rest his arm on it.
“I’d never be scared by some shitty ass villains and neither should you! They didn’t stand a chance against us! You’re all alive so stop complaining” Bakugou had locked eyes with you, and deep down you knew this was his makeshift way of trying to cheer you up. His way to remind you how strong you were, despite the tears and snot that ran down your face. You nodded softly to him, a faint smile ghosting your lips, and he quickly averted his gaze to anywhere but you. Mumbling something under his breath that you couldn’t quite make out but appreciated nonetheless. You watched Kirishima take a spot of the ground near Kaminari, and Mina dropped to her knees in front of you, her eyes welling with the same tears that plagued yours. Her smile was gentle, caring, and it made you feel safe. Safe despite everything that had happened to all of you just a few hours earlier. In fact, just being surrounded by your friends filled you with a sense of comfort that you didn’t expect yourself to find. You weren’t sure if it was simply their presence, or if it was the puffy eyes and wordless smiles of understanding that laid hidden on their expressions.
“You alright, baby?” Mina asked, her soft and well manicured hands coming to rest on your soaked cheeks. And despite it all, you nodded. The tiny smile still ever present on your face. Because for the first time tonight, you were reminded that no matter how hard things get, no matter how many villains tried to tear you down, you would always have your friends to pick you back up- to put a smile on your face with ease when you felt just minutes prior that you may never smile again. You could never thank them enough.
“Yeah, I will be.”
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amane-by-together · 4 years ago
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I know I love you || Amane Yugi
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Alive!Amane Yugi x Female!Reader
genre: fluff and soft hours
summary: in which Amane invites [Name] to sleep next to him while cuddling in the cold night weather.
warning: too much fluff and kisses :')
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Drip drop!
The sound of the raindrops turned louder and louder from the window. Coldness spreads inside the room as the female who was wrapped in a duvet shivered by the temperature. [Name] was already wearing a long sleeved shirt and socks yet she still feels cold.
Amane walks in the bedroom, wearing a black shirt and jogging pants. He chuckled at his girlfriend, seeing how she was adorably hogging all the blanket and pillows to keep herself warm. "It's kind of chilly here..." He said, rubbing his arms for friction.
[Name] peeks out of her burrow like a bunny and curled her feet under the blanket. "Took you long enough." [Name] pouted. She and Amane started dating a week ago. Who confessed first? Amane smoothly admitted his feelings while he walked [Name] home. Both of their cheeks heated up at the same time and eventually Amane composed himself, asking her to go out with him in which she wholeheartedly said yes.
Amane grins charmingly at [Name]. "Sorry, [Name]." He said, climbing up to the soft mattress and laying down. "C'mere in my arms to make it up to you." Amane pulled her by the waist closer to him. Reddish blush pooled on her cheeks on how close they were.
She didn't feel the cold anymore. Amane's arms caged around her waist protectively, he loves hugging her there. "You don't mind right...?" Amane smiled softly, drawing her closer as their bodies were pressing against with each other.
The soft flutters of the butterflies tickled her, crinkling her nose at the feeling like a bunny scrunching its button nose. Amane giggled, putting his forehead with hers as she lightly chuckled. [Name] pulled up the duvet, covering the two of them.
Maybe the duvet was helping them warm up during the cold weather, or was it the warmth from Amane's body? [Name]'s giggles died down and smiled gently, staring at his big luminous amber eyes. She wanted him to lean down and kiss her lips right now because of how close they were.
The chuckles died down and now they're currently staring at each other wish soft smiles and fond gazes. Amane and [Name] haven't kissed on the lips yet but they do kiss each others cheek as a start.
Amane slides his arm up to her neck as an arm pillow while his other arm was still wrapped around her waist. [Name] saw that he was currently soft, sweet and yet nervous in some sort. He trembled, lowering his head down to hers as his breath fanned near her lips. "Um, May I?" He whispered in a husky voice.
He was blushing, like in his confession a week ago. [Name]'s rosy cheeks turned even more red, she shyly tugged his shirt as an affirmation to proceed. Amane gently presses his lips with hers and pulled away slightly, seeing her flustered reaction.
[Name] wanted more, his lips lingering with hers and yearned to kiss him longer. Staring at her with half-lidded eyes, Amane kisses her again in a long yet sweet way, closing her eyelids to concentrate with the movement of his lips.
Amane couldn't help but to roll on top of her, trying not to crush her under his weight. [Name] can feel her beating heart in her chest and the whimpers escaping from the vocal chords of hers. Amane tore his mouth away from hers for air, a smug tugging on his lips and let out a breathy sigh. "Your lips feel soft..."
"...Really?"
"I love their softness against mine..."
Amane brushes the strands of her hair away from her face using the back of his hand. "You're so pretty..." Amane placed his palm on [Name]'s cheek, she leaned against his touch. Amane planted a soft peck on [Name]'s lips. When he reached for another, she places her fingertips on his lips to tease Amane causing him to pout.
"Just kidding, you can kiss me more." [Name] giggled as Amane repeatedly pecks her lips then trailing down to smother soft kisses on her neck. "Amane...?" She whispers.
"S-Sorry!" Amane removes himself on top of her so that he could face her. His cheeks turning red at his action. "I couldn't help it..." He mumbled in embarrassment. [Name] dipped her head low, the strands of her hair falls down to cover her face to hide her blush.
Amane takes her hand and nervously brought his lips to the back of her hand. He looked at her in mesmerizing eyes as he kissed each knuckle and fingers. "Your hands are cold." He remarked.
"But cold hands mean their heart is warm..."
"Your heart is warm too." Amane places his hand on her chest to feel her beating heart. "And its beating for me too."
"Yeah..."
"This feels nice, isn't it?" Amane locked his arms around her waist and pressing his face on the crook of her neck as he basked on [Name]'s warmth. Neither of them mind how the distance between them starting to disappear. Out of stacks of pillows and the fluffiness of the duvet yet they decided to hug each other for warmth. "I see that you liked being in my arms."
"Of course, I kinda want to stay in your arms too..." [Name]'s eyes were starting to drop due to sleepiness. Amane puts his forehead against hers, hearing the soft breathing from the female and hugging her even more. She always loved tight hugs, especially from Amane because it gave her the sense of comfort. She smiled sleepily at her lover and grinned sweetly.
"I love you..."
Amane responded by giving her a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you more..." He says in a serious manner and an evident blush on both of his cheeks. [Name] drifted off to sleep as she sleeps with his arms locked around her waist.
Realizing that he was lucky to have her as his girlfriend, a soft smile appears from his lips. Amane knows he loves her and she loves him the same. The willingness to love her for many years till they're old, he couldn't wait.
"Goodnight."
Amane slowly closed his eyes and then slept in hopes of seeing [Name] in his arms tomorrow morning. "Mhm, goodnight..." She mumbled, putting her hands on his back to hold him tight.
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[Name] can feel his breathing fan through her ear as Amane hugged her waist from behind and putting his chin on her shoulder. She fluttered her eyes open, seeing that she was laying on his arm with their hands locked together.
She moved her head to the side and saw how peaceful Amane is when sleeping. [Name] faced him as Amane adjusted his hand and pulls her in by the waist. "Good morning..." He says in a sleepy voice, his slightly deep tone flusters her more.
"Good morning to you too..."
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a/n: this oneshot is a gift for my waifey @closetweebsmh happy bday hope you would like this cuz you like cuddles and love you very much <33
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thr-333 · 4 years ago
Text
Drastic Measures- Part 2
@daminette-december2019-2020
~Swordplay~
To summarise: I will have the love square one way or another!
Ao3
First >Next 
--------------
As far as homes go it’s pretty good” Adrien stretches out, Plagg curls up next to him.
“Don't get too comfortable we’re going to be on the move,” Marinette types furiously at her computer.
“I will try my hardest,” Adrien stares blankly at her, sat atop a pile of grubby blankets next to a broken window. Marinette loses connection to her computer and slams it shut with a huff.
“Get some sleep I’m going to find an internet cafe,” Marinette stuffs the cheap laptop into her bag, amazing how something she bought at a hole in the wall place for thirty bucks didn’t work well.
“Who needs sleep when you can have coffee,” Adrian stands up, ready to follow her.
“Sleep Chat,” She pushes him down by the shoulders, “I need my partner fully operational,”
“Yeah kid, take a break, we worked hard,” Plagg yawns, turning over.
“You also worked hard Bug,” Adrien lets himself be pushed back onto the blankets.
“I won't be able to sleep until I know how everything is in Paris,”
“Neither can I,” Adrien protests, already half asleep.
“Sure you can, night Chat,”
“Night M’lady,”
Marinette leaves the same way they came in, though the window. She has to slide down the gutter to get on the street, Tikki hiding away in her bag. She has to go pretty far in town to find a suitable cafe, too far from Adrien to be comfortable. Marinette pops in her earbuds before opening her computer to let her talk to Tikki freely.
She doesn't immediately search up missing person cases. Looking instead at Paris tourist destinations and guides. Switching to the dangers of traveling to Paris; the only mention of Akuma being on obscure question and answer sites. She looks at kidnapping potential and then moves onto missing person cases. Adrien's is the first to come up, obviously. 
There was lots of outcry among his fans. Many were throwing around accusations of foul play on Gabriel's part from abuse to locking Adrien away from the world. However, Gabriel was also fiercely looking for his son. Adrien hadn’t left behind any sort of note. Well only to Nino, which Adrien had told Marinette was asked not to mention to anyone.
Marinette then feels safe enough to look up her own case. It was smaller, although was gaining attention as Jagged proclaimed it to high heavens; more so asking what they did wrong and how they could fix it and asking for any sightings of her. That could be a problem if her picture was already around. Marinette pulls her hood up higher. They might have to get haircuts and wear disguises… on second thought wearing suspicious disguises in Gotham might cause more problems.
“Tikki they seem really worried,” Marinette watches the videos Jagged posted, her parents in the background running around talking with police.
“Of course they are Mari,” Marinette feels a light tap on her side, “But you're doing the right thing,”
“No I’m not,” not when she’s watching a video of her parents crying,  “I’m doing what needs to be done, this is my responsibility, no matter what a certain someone thinks,”
She spits with venom. Maybe Adriens rant last night rubbed off on her.
“He’s the hero here,” Tiki says non accusingly, “Imagine if another hero came to Paris without asking you… remember Volpina?”
“Ah now that was an actual villain,” Marinette hadn’t trusted her from the start,  “Plus she was akumatized,”
“Marinette,” Marinette can’t bring herself to feel guilty, even under tikis scolding.
“Right but that still doesn't give him the right,” Marinette huffs, “After all would he attack Marinette? No!”
“Are you implying you would attack Lila?”
“......... no,”
“Marinette,”
Marinetti smirks to herself instinctively looking around for Adrien to share her joke. Then Marinette froze. The cafe was empty, not even a barista. How had she not noticed!?
“Wait,” Marinetti says out loud before Tiki could talk, “I’m going to have to call you back, something just came up,”
Something was watching her from the kitchen door as if she couldn’t see them. Marinette tries to act normal going for the pepper on the table and putting it on her food. They move at the same time. The attacker runs towards her, Marinette throws the shaker at- Robin?! It hits him square in the forehead, with a curse he touches his bleeding forehead.
“I am so sorry!” Marinette panics, “That was meant to explode in your face!”
“How is that better?!” Robin runs forward, sword drawn. Marinette ducks behind the table grabbing her plate and frisbeeing it towards him, he manages to dodge this one, “Draw your weapon coward!"
“I don’t have a weapon!” She grabs the table cloth ready to take the vigilante down, “What is wrong with you?!”
He doesn't answer lunging at her again with the sword. Marinette kicks up the table then kicks it towards him in one swift movement. With the impact of the table he drops the sword, Marinette jumps up landing on the table which pins Robin down to the ground with its weight and hers, with the legs sticking up.
“I knew it,” Robin spits and she presses her weight into the table to keep him pinned.
“Excuse you,” Marinette catches his wrist as he tries to pull a dagger on her using the table cloth to tie it to the legs of the table, then does the same with the other, “You attacked me,”
“-Robin!” she hears a faint call, no one is around so it must be from his communicator, “-Robin report back to the cave!”
“I’ll take that~” Marinette sings songs ignoring how he growls at her. She rolls her eyes stepping off the table she needed to get out of here now.
She steps out of the cafe throwing the communicator and likely a tracking device too on the roof of a passing car then sprints in the opposite direction. She heads for the alleys looking for an area with no cameras as she runs. When she finds a spot Marinette transforms running back to their base with record timing.
“Adrien wake up!” Ladybug jumps through the window, barely avoiding landing on him, “Batman’s after us,”
“What?!” He sits bolt upright, Ladybug pulls him onto his feet.
“Move! Now!” She grabs their bags, Adrien transforms and they take off over the rooftops.
“What happened?!” Chat shouts as the runaway, “Is Batman chasing us?”
“Yes, well kinda-- Robin tried to kill me,”
“He what?!”
“As Marinette,” She adds, slowing down as they should have put enough distance between them.
“Did they figure us out already?” Chat Noir slows down into a walk then collapses on the rooftop,
"Probably,"
“This is the worst wake up call ever!”
“Well, it's about to get worse,” Ladybug cringes feeling the distinct trace of magic she was all too familiar with.
“Akuma?”
“Akuma,”
“Great, perfect,” Chat complains standing back up.
“At least we’re not at school,” Ladybug shrugs, launching herself over a roof.
“No you’re right being chased by a masked vigilante is a massive improvement,”
---
Wow
“Robin! Get your head out of the clouds and get over here!”
Damian breaks out of his trance, regrettably tearing his gaze away from Ladybug to the much less awe inspiring sight of Batman trapped under a car. They shouldn’t be wasting their time worrying about these established amazing hero’s and worry about that assassin on the loose. Who knows who she was after. She could be planning Batman’s demise at this very moment; if she was close with his mother then surely she knew their identities which was far far more dangerous.
Ladybug could handle herself as evidence by her going toe to toe with the newest villain. In a matter of minutes, the villain was down for the count with no help on their part. 
“Ladybug!” He calls before she leaves again, maybe she could help him convince his father that he was being an absolute buffoon.
“Oh it’s you,” She says surprisingly coldly, “What do you want now?”
“Now?”
“Are, you here to attack me again?”
“... I didn’t attack you?” He had spent all morning tracking down a dangerous assassin.
“... Oh! Of course, you did- haha I just ummmm-- there must have been an… Akuma! Yes! There must have been an Akuma earlier that looked like you,”
“An Akuma was impersonating me?” Robin growls.
“Yeah, they do that sometimes,” Chat Noir pipes up, “It’s annoying,”
“Yes and if you’re here, that uh… that means the Akuma is still out there so we gotta go deal with that so-bye!” Ladybug swings off closely followed by Chat Nor; off to go save his name and reputation.
---
“So you really think that was an Akuma?” Adrien asks as they transform back.
“Maybe- I don’t know it was just an excuse so he wouldn't figure out my identity,”
“Well at least he doesn't know it,” Adrien shrugs as they walk through the alleys in search of a new place to rest that night.
“If he doesn't know then why would he attack Marinette?” She asks, “And if it was an Akuma that means Hawkmoth knows my identity which is so much worse!”
“Is it tho?”
“Chat,”
“I mean back in Paris it would have been bad,” They both cringe, “But here we have no home, no family, no friends! He cant use any of that against us now!”
Adrien beams his contagious smile.
“You always manage to find a bright side,” Marinette smirks punching him in the shoulder.
“So that's why,” They both turn around, staring in shock.
“Batman?!” Turning back their way out is already blocked by mister boy wonder. Who, by the way he is glaring at her, was not an Akuma this morning.
“I can't believe Talia called me because some teenagers were eloping,”
I know that name- WAIT!
“Eloping?!” Marinette chokes, “We are not eloping!”
“As in not at all,” Adrien blanches, “And I mean no offense Marinette you are literally the sweetest person but I can’t imagine anything more horrific!”
“Oh god, same!” At least now, “I mean once when we were younger…-- it was a silly crush!”
“Wait you had a crush on me?!”
“Yeah, well, you had a crush on me!”
“... oh god… I did, didn’t I?!”
While Adrien is dealing with that little revelation Marinette looks around for an escape. There isn’t much opportunity since both have their eyes on them, partly out of morbid curiosity at their little freakout. Well if you don't have a distraction homemade is fine.
“AKUMA!” They both look, predictably. 
Marinette grabs Adrien and runs. She goes for the side Robins guarding, sweeping his legs sending him crashing to the ground.
“I’m not sorry!” Marinette calls as they sprint down the alley.
Marinette heads for the main street, enough of a crowd to camouflage. As they are walking through as casually as possible Marinette sweeps them both for bugs putting any she finds on random passerbys. They walk sometimes ducking into busy shops in hopes of losing their trail. They come across the mall which works perfectly for them. They stay until it starts to approach closing time, it’s easy enough to avoid security and so they get locked in for the night.
“So what do you want to do?!” They walk through the empty halls Adrien skipping along and looking at each display. Marinette stops outside an electronics store, the tv’s still on and displaying the news.
“Make a plan for a way to deal with that,” On-screen are the two of them, a video of Ladybug throwing a car at Batman, “This is taken completely out of context!”
“What’s the context?” 
“Batman was being a little bitch!”
“I’m sure that will hold up in court,” Adrien laughs taking a seat in one of those massage chairs, “Besides what's the problem?”
“The problem?!” Marinette yells, “The problem is that now all of Gotham is going to hate us!”
“So? Do we really need them to like us?” Adrien gets up to stand by her, rubbing her shoulder.
“They did in Paris,”
“We’re not in Paris anymore,” Adrien says quietly, leading her towards the seats, “We have a chance to start new again, everyday something we haven't done before, a couple of pals living day to day on the edge, isn’t that exciting?”
“I just--” want to go home, “I’m tired,”
“Take a break,” Adrien sits her down in the massage chair with a kind smile, “I’ll keep watch,”
“.. ok,” Marinette curls up in the chair Tikki coming to lie beside her. With not much strength to fight it, Marinette falls asleep while she can.
-------------------------
Taglist? nope don’t have one, horrible at keeping track of them sorry~
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nik-the-bik · 3 years ago
Text
"Exchanging Body Heat" - Jekyll & Utterson Fic
Here I go combining the "snuggle for warmth" and "only one bed" cliches like the hack that I am.
Jekyll/Utterson is superior y'all
CW: Some hints of internalized homophobia from one of the characters. A character feels kinda guilty for having sexual thoughts and I definitely scaled it back from what it was in the first draft but if I need to go further please please please let me know.
Read more of my "Oh My God They Were Roommates" fics?
*****
It was late, bitterly cold, and the winter winds rattled against the ice-covered window as Henry Jekyll finally came back into the tiny room he shared with Gabriel Utterson.
“Any spare blankets left?” Gabriel asked, teeth chattering as he sat on his bed wrapped in nearly every sweater, jacket, and blanket that the two of them possessed.
“None,” Henry sighed, wrapping his own collection of sweaters and coats tighter against himself. He brushed a hand through his hair, which was getting far longer than he was used to and starting to grow out into a thick collection of curls. “I don’t know how we’re expected to sleep tonight.”
“I cannot believe that the school hasn’t found us any alternate housing,” Gabriel said. “How can we be expected to live through the winter with a hole in the building’s roof? It’s negligence, and quite frankly I’m willing to start a nasty petition to--”
“The hallways are freezing,” Jekyll murmured, coming to Gabriel seated on the bed.
“Are you alright?” Gabriel asked, lifting the blankets to let his best friend sit next to him and wrap himself in their warmth.
“I will be,” Henry smiled at him, his cheeks pink from the bitter air that dominated their dormitory.
Henry’s smile warmed Gabriel only slightly. “What are the others doing?”
“Well,” Henry began, “the folks who were able to reach the extra store of blankets first seem to have hoarded them all for themselves—”
“That’s kind of them—”
“--and there’s a collection of people camping out around the fireplace in the common room.”
“How many?”
“There’s barely any space to walk around them on the floor.”
“Dear Lord.”
The two sat in silence for a moment, the only sound the shrieking of the wind outside.
“This never would have happened in that brand new building near the river that you would have been in if I hadn’t—” Henry began.
“Henry, don’t.”
“Well, it’s true.”
“None of this is your fault,” Gabriel said, staring hard at Jekyll. “I wouldn’t change my mind about living here with you for a moment.”
“I still wish that I could afford better.”
“And I wish your father wasn’t such an arse.”
Gabriel was pleased to see that Henry’s glum expression cracked into a small smile after that comment.
“Besides,” Gabriel said, “it’s really not unbearable when we’re both under these blankets together.”
Henry’s smile widened and cheeks grew a touch rosier. “That’s thermodynamics for you.”
“What now?”
“Thermodynamics,” Henry said, that small twinkle in his eye appearing as the topic turned to his favorite subjects. “Well, more like entropy, really. It’s when energy transfers from one thing to another as heat.”
“Oh.” “Entropy is neat because everything is always trying to reach thermal equilibrium. So, because you were warmer than I was under these blankets, your body is trying to warm up my body.”
Gabriel blushed. “That’s, uh—”
“Before, your body was just losing heat to the outside air, which was much cooler than your own temperature. Now that I’m here, and my temperature is maybe slightly warmer than the outside air, I’m helping you preserve more of that heat energy for yourself. Make sense?”
“Mmhmm,” Gabriel affirmed, suddenly unable to look at Henry without feeling flustered.
“And then a little friction should help too,” Henry said, teasing now as he started rubbing his hands rapidly over Gabriel’s shoulders, shaking him back and forth.
“Alright, alright, I get it, Chemist.”
“Well, thermodynamics is really more in the realm of physics—”
“A technicality. It’s all science stuff.”
“I thought little technicalities were important to Lawyers.”
Gabriel finally brought his gaze back to Henry’s and was filled with that comfortable fuzziness of seeing his friend looking so affectionately back at him.
“I guess what I’m trying to get at,” Henry said, glancing downward, “is that if we want to stay warm tonight, maybe it’s best if we stay close.”
Gabriel’s stomach flipped. “What? But—but how?”
“Well, I know it’s not ideal, but—” Henry started, his whole face blushing now.
“But?”
“But if we shared the same bed and used all of the blankets together, we’d probably avoid frostbite tonight.”
Gabriel gulped. Share a bed? Share an itty bitty single-person bed? With Henry? The two of them would have to be practically on top of each other!
“Do you really think—”
“I know it won’t be very comfortable at all, but—”
Gabriel’s mind began to wander to the two of them, wrapped in each other’s arms, Henry’s body beneath his--- his eyes flickered back up to Henry’s. “If it means surviving the night and being able to keep all of my fingers in the morning, I think we can manage.”
Henry gave him a shy smile in return. “I think we can manage. Just for a night.”
“There are plenty of worse people I could be doing this with, anyway,” Gabriel teased.
Henry laughed. “I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather explore entropy with.”
“God, Henry, when you say it like that—"
Both erupted into nervous giggles.
“Well—should we try to get some sleep then?” Henry offered. Gabriel felt his heart do a little skip as he nodded.
Neither of them bothered trying to clean up before going to sleep. They didn’t want to risk losing any of the warmth they had built up in their little blanket pile together. The two of them worked themselves into a position on Gabriel’s bed, which sat further from the very poorly insulated window than Henry’s. With Henry being the taller and broader of the two, and both a bit bulkier from all the sweaters, it was tricky finding a position where they could fit comfortably without Gabriel being cradled right up against his chest.
“Are you alright?” “Mmhmm.”
“Maybe if your arm goes—”
“Yeah.”
The two of them lay chest-to-chest, Gabriel just slightly on top of Henry, hands against his chest while his face rested in the crook of his friend’s neck. He felt the thrill of his heart fluttering in his chest, something he was all too cognizant of with Henry being oh-so close. He couldn’t deny how good it felt to be laying against him, the weight of a thick pile of blankets laying heavily over them both. Henry squirmed slightly underneath him.
“Do you mind if I--?” he asked, as he pulled his left arm, slightly trapped under Gabriel, out and instead draped it over his friend, resting it comfortably around his waist.
Gabriel blushed deeply, grateful that they had turned out the lights before laying down.
“Is this okay? If not, I can move,” Henry whispered.
“No, no, it’s perfectly fine. If I’m practically crushing you, you deserve to be as comfortable as possible,” he answered.
Henry sighed, and the two lay still for a moment.
“I’m sorry if this is uncomfortable for you. I know it’s weird, but—” Henry began.
“Henry, I’m alright,” Gabriel muttered, heart sinking. “Besides, there are plenty of worse people I could be with, remember?”
Henry chuckled. “Goodnight, Gabriel.”
“Goodnight, Henry.”
They grew quiet. The bit of Gabriel’s face that was exposed to the open air felt the chill of the room while the rest of him basked in the warmth of the little nest they had created together. Soon he became used to the gentle rhythm of Henry’s breathing as his friend quickly drifted off to sleep. Gabriel, however, wasn’t very tired at all.
It had been a little over a year now since Gabriel had realized his romantic feelings for Henry. He loved him, deeply, and was content to spend the rest of his days loving him as the best of friends if that was all Henry ever wanted. But there had been plenty of nights where the two laid separate in their own beds, Gabriel fantasizing about scenarios a bit too much like this one. He’d lay there, thoughts wandering to embarrassing places as Henry lay innocently on the other side of the room. He would never dare confess to these private desires and risk destroying his friendship with Henry, even though Gabriel had no idea how Henry would react if he ever did find out about his feelings. It’s not as though the topic of homosexuality had ever come up naturally…
A tiny part of him wanted to harbor hope. To hope that Henry cared for him too, that Henry could also—
Fear squandered that part of him though. Gabriel wasn’t one to let himself daydream like that for very long.
Still, here they were. And it had been Henry who had suggested cuddling to stay warm, hadn’t it? Did this even count as cuddling if it was utilitarian, the way he had tried to assure Henry that it was?
Cuddling or not, Gabriel couldn’t help but relish in this moment. It was almost perfect. He cherished the sound of Henry’s gentle breathing, his smell, the feel of Henry’s strong arms around him, the feeling of his chest beneath his hands…
It was around then that he felt Henry move beneath him. Henry sighed, pulled him closer, and –
Dear god. Had he felt Henry’s lips brushing against his forehead, or was he only imagining it? He could have sworn that it had felt like the softest, most delicate kiss.
Gabriel felt himself tense up and his breath catch. Surely that was an accident? A trick of the mind? Nothing but wishful thinking? It took all willpower he had inside of him to deny his instinct to snuggle closer to Henry, wrap his arms around him, kiss his neck, tangle their legs together—He felt his face grow hot and his breathing get shallower—mind exploring places that his hands would never dare. His heart was racing and surely, surely with how close they were, Henry must be able to feel it too?
A wicked thought sprung into his head, and before he had time to rationalize it away, Gabriel felt the devil seize his tongue.
“Henry, H-henry!” he whimpered.
Henry stirred and lifted his head just a little. “What is it?”
“I-I-I’m fr-freezing, please—”
“Come here, come here!” Henry pulled him still tighter to his chest and didn’t pause for a second when Gabriel threw his arms around him. Soon Gabriel could feel the firm pressure of Henry’s hand rubbing along his back, each movement sending his poor heart into a frenzy. A tiny part of him felt guilty deceiving him like this, tricking his friend into letting him delight in their bodies entangled together, indulging in his deepest fantasies.
Yet he had never, ever, felt so deliciously warm.
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goth-girlfriend · 4 years ago
Note
Good evening😬or morning or whateva :D I'm going to spoil you with a Endeavor request: Endeavor having sex with his affair and she gets pregnant but is too scared to tell him because of his past and when Endeavor finds out on accident he promises to be a good father and it turns out right :) like he plays with the baby all the time and cuddles it, super fluffy 😌
Good!.....night? It’s like 1:34 in the morning.... sooooo Good! morning! (8-24-2020) To you, you lovely person, spoiling me with such a great Endeavor Request 😌
I hope your day goes well as soon as I post this! Stay hydrated! 💦💙
💙💙❤️🖤❤️💙💙❤️🖤❤️💙💙
I couldn’t fight the tears as they started to sting along my water lines, I forced my eyes closed and tried to kick my lips, they tasted like poison and rubbed. I reached out for the countertop in-front of me. Finger shaking, just slightly as I grabbed the plastic in my hand. Three of four, say positive, the fourth didn’t give me an answer. How did this happen?!
“I know how this happen, in a very pleasurable way.....because I was being an idiot four months ago!” I scolded myself after asking my self the questions.
I swallowed and looked at my phone, it was new, Enji, bought it for me when I’d lost my old one off the roof of his car. I shuffled on my seat that were the steps to my tub. I took a deep breath, “I can’t tell him, I’ll have to leave him. I don’t want my child to go through the same things his children did.”
I stood up and started pacing the bathroom, “good plan good plan.” I lied to myself.
“Maybe I should tell him? I won’t be able to do it alone....” I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror, “No! What if.”
I felt the hot streaks running down the curves of my cheeks and jaw, but it didn’t register. I clenched my jaw and forced my eyes shut, I felt queasy, and the puking began. I stood up after kneeling for like ten minutes and rushed over to my legs mirror. I rose my hoodie, and it all made sense why I’d gained weight, if you looked hard enough, you could the bulge slowly not really, but just becoming visible, I looked bloated... maybe that’s why he never realized it.... also since it’s winter I’ve been using sweaters and hoodies much to Enji’s distaste. I laughed to myself before pouting, and placing both my hands on either side of my stomach, “I’m scared....” I swallowed the taste of fear, maybe puke, “I’ve never done this... I can’t call my parents... there not in Japan....” I fidgeted and pulled my shirt down, I heard the door bell and perked up, “Oh! My Noodles are here!”
I rushed to the door wallet in hand and ready to get my dood only to come face with Enji.
“Heeeeyyyyyy,” I poked my head out the door and looked around then poured and looked up at him, “You’re not the delivery guy.”
He gave me a look that clearly stated “Are you SERIOUS?”
“Right! You should come in before my pesky neighbor sees!” I pulled him in and looked around once more, my closest neighbor was actually about a quarter mile away, but that doesn’t matter.
“Soooooo,” I turned around and licked the door, “I didn’t expect you at all.” I smiled and fidgeted with my hands feeling sick.
“I’ve come to discuss this relationship.” His words were straight, I felt a fill run through my blood and bones, if he leaves.... what am I gonna do?
“Oh,” I nodded looked down, my voice was a whisper, “I guess say what you need.”
“I can’t keep having an affair, there are rumors rising already. My image can’t be ruined like this.”
I felt my heart pick up, my breathing felt struggled.
“I see,” I didn’t look up as I made myself take a breath feeling my heartbeat in my throat, “well, if this is it, I guess I should give back the jewelry, and other expensive gifts huh?”
“No, keep them, that’s not what I’m here for.” He shook his head eyes closed.
“Alright, is there anything else you need to say? Before you go?”
“I’m getting a divorce,” the words were like a punch to the stomach, I wasn’t the one being divorced but it definitely hit, I felt it rushing up. I rushed or my bathroom and stuffed the pregnancy tests into my hoodie pocket so Enji wouldn’t see them, I clung to the toilet shoving up the seat puked letting it all out. I was met with a tug at my hair, Enji was holding it back and fumbling with a black scrunches I’d left on my sink. He sighed as he rubbed my back, he kneeled beside me rubbing my back and handing me toilet tissue to wipe my mouth a bit that burned its wya through my nose. I took it and wiped my mouth away, I dry heaved a bit, and felt myself shaking, cold, so cold. Enji kept flushing the toilet until it was all gone, he helped me to sit on the toilet, “You’re sick.”
He sighed and closed his eyes, “Don’t move from here until I get back.”
I nodded and looked down, I let out a sigh and groaned, a divorce? He’s leaving Rei? Officially? I mean, it’s good cause this won’t be so scandalous anymore, but... it’s sudden.
I tried to stand by my thighs were shaky and weak. I paced my hands into hem and felt tears, I closed my eyes and let them fall, a new heat on my cheeks wiped them away, I looked to see Enji there, hands on my face, he could definitely crush my skull, his eyes looked sad, but his face was not showing that.
“I brought you water and some medicine to help with nausea. I don’t know what this is, but let’s get you to bed, you look tired, your cheeks and eyes are red and you look weak.” He didn’t let me answer as he gave me the medicine and stood up making his way to my room outside the bathroom and I could hear him moving the blankets.
Getting it my bed Enji told my to put my hand up, I did, he pulled my hoodie off leaving me in the tank top I wore underneath. Something fell but I don’t pay attention to what, but mostly because Enji was helping me sit, even if I didn’t want to. “You’ve already order food, I’ll wait here with you until gets here.”
He took my hand squeezed and I just nodded, the tears in my eyes, I didn’t even feel them, “So sweet.”
For a minute I forgot I was pregnant, until my phone gave a buzz, I looked ya it on the nightstand. I know the chime, it was for my period tracker, I’d neglected completely four times now. Enji didn’t read my phone simply handing it to me. I thanked him and swiped away the notification, “sleep.” He said and brought his free hand to brush my hair back, I craved his warm hand in this cold moment, “If you leave wake me up.” He nodded, and I sighed and started to shuffle in the blanket.
***
“(Y/n),” I was shook awake, I blinked a few times feeling hot in the blanket I sat and pushed it back, I stood up and just as I was about to answer, back in the bathroom.
“We should take you to a doctor.” I hugged and nodded, “yeeaaahhhh.”
“Do you have one?” He asked and looked at his phone.
“No sir.” I was honest.
I heard him sigh, “Take off that shirt,” I hear him walk away followed by some clattering. I pulled off my shirt and he brought back my hoodie, “Wear this, I’m taking you to a doctor.”
He left again and started to talk on the phone, I pouted and pulled on my hoodie after taking off my shirt, “bully, I didn’t even get my lunch.”
I walked spurns my house in the socks I just pulled on looking for my shoes, “where?” I dropped to my knees looking under the sofa, “are you?” I reached aliens and felt something.
“Shoes?” I asked and pulled out some old low sneakers that I used to wear.... once, when I tried to work out.
“It’ll work.” I shrugged and started to pull them on.
“Ready?” I answered back with “YES DADDY SIR IM READY!” I heard a heavy sigh and smiled pushing myself off the floor as he walked into the room, he held up a bag, my food.
“Get in the car.” He tossed me my keys, “No driving.” I nodded and rushed to my car and got in the passenger side and turned it on. I pulled on my seat belt and sat waiting, I huffed after literally two minutes passed.
I honked then smiled seeing Enji come into the garage, I got happy, I like car rides with Enji...kinda like a dog I guess.... he handed me the plastic bag and placed a lime soda in the cup holder, “Do NOT, open it until were on the road.” I nodded and waited, until we pulled out and took the turn.
I opened my bag and found the stir fry noddles is been craving all day, “Don’t way to much, if you puke again well have to stop and clean the car.” “Okay, got it.”
I started of eat and look out the window and indulge in the noodles. I stopped a quarter way in when I felt a shuffle in my abdomen. My food was hitting on an empty stomach, and it’s showing. I covered the food up and placed it back in the bag and tried to didn’t some soda. I finished the drink by the time we pulled up to a clinc.... a women’s clinic. I cringed at the sight. “Why here?” I asked.
“I thought you’d be more comfortable with a woman for your doctor.
“Okaaaayyyy.” I prepped myself to get out, I watched Enji get out with no hesitation, I still hesitated, until he came and opened my door offering a hand. I took it and was pulled back by my seatbelt. I laughed sheepishly and I clicked it before getting help again. We walked in and surprisingly empty, I guess the parking lot gave that away though. We walked in, Enji made me sit, he went and got the paper work from the secretary, and brought it back and I started to fill it out. I smiled as I gave back to him, and he got up and took it back. He told the nurse something and she nodded with a big smile. He nodded and came back to sit by my side. I felt nervous, and didn’t fight the bouncing of my leg, I shimmied closer to his side and leaned my head on his shoulder. A few minutes passed until they called. They took blood for vitamin checks, and muscle and bone stuff, urine for some tests, something about protein and I didn’t catch the rest. They told me to sit on the bed my doctor would be here soon. Then asked if I’d like Enji in the room or not, I nodded and said yes let him stay, I kNOW WHAT THIS IS.... maybe it won’t be so bad with someone else. A few more minutes and here she came, a short plump woman with bright eyes.
“I’m here, so tell me whats happening.” She said and didn’t even look at me, just read some papers.
“Well, I’ve been queasy, and I’ve been puking most of the day-“ I was wished by a hand on my back, “This will help you.” I watched Enji reach into his pocket and pull out a ziplock I cringed at the sight, the four tests I’d stuffed in my jacket.
The doctor took it and looked at them and laughed, “Well,” she smiled and clipped them to her board, “I’ll tell them to run the urine for a test.”
“Thank you.” Enji answered and she nodded then left.
“.......sooooooo, hows the weather up there?” I said not looking up at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He didn’t look at me, just ahead at the wall. I looked around, “I was scared, that maybe, you wouldn’t want it or you know....your past... that you might... you know.....” The sigh he let out was depressing, I tried to look at him. I was hurt, out of every fight I’ve ever seen him in, I felt like maybe, just maybe, this would be the lowest I’d ever see him. “I-“ “No, don’t say your sorry,” his stare still on the floor, “I don’t blame you.... for thinking those things, if you want to leave with this child then you can do so. I just want you to know these few things before you make a choice.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, it’s weird because I’m not the one who just got emotionally wounded.
“I don’t deserve to be a father again, I know it, I understand the things I’ve done are not right. It can’t easily be forgiven. The things I’ve done can last over a life time, I’m working to fix all these things, I don’t want to hurt the one I love anymore, but I can’t stand the thought of hurting innocent people. I wanted to spend what’s left of my life with you, this is sudden, and you have the decision and freedom to decide what you think is best, but I promise you, this time, I will be the best man I can for you, and for this child. I don’t want to hurt anyone, I want to be the best I can and prove that I know what it’s like to be real father, to show I know what love really is. I won’t force you to make any decisions, and I won’t force my way into its life, I only want to do this, if you do this with me.”
I nodded and swallowed, great now IM crying. I tired to reach for his hand, “Enji.��� His hand squeezed mine once I held his, “I’d love to share my life and first child with you,” I sniffled, “I don’t want my first child to not know it’s dad, so please, do everything you can to be there for us.”
***
“ILL,” I grunted and squeezed the hand burning my flesh, “I promise,” I let out a deep breath, “I’ll show you pain when this is over.” I took a few labored breaths, squeezing his hand, I pulled my hand out of his and took of my new wedding ring, “hold this it’s about to hurt us both once this head starts coming out.” I hissed feeling a sharp pain and then I felt it, it felt like a poop you can’t hold it, it dropped lower and “Alright Mrs.Todoroki, it’s crowning, so just give us a nice push-“
I flexed my lower abdomen and stopped when he said, I took breath, and clenched to Enji’s hand making sure to not squeezed my lower muscles in pain to avoid excessive bruising, “1...2...3... and push.”
I pushed again feeling pressure leaving my inside and pouring out of me, “Breathe,” the Doctor said and she looked up at me, “Someone has definitely been doing their workouts, this is going very quick and smooth.” She disappeared behind my legs and said “Last one,” a paused that felt like an hour, “Push-“ crying filled the room, “It’s a boy! Congratulations! Would you like to cut the umbilical cord Mr.Todoroki?” I let go of his hand but he hesitated, I nodded at him with a smile, the blood drained from him when he saw what everything looked like down there, he took the scissors and quickly cut before coming back to my side, “Placenta is coming.” She sis do felt another wave of pressure leaving me stomach, and I heard a wet plop, and a metallic sound. I shivered but quickly recovered when my necked son was placed on my now bear chest, I held him close and cried, he was a bit bloody still but I was so happy. The tears started falling as I hugged his gently and kissed his head of already bright red hair. “Precious, boy.” I said and gen’s got tried to rub some stuff off his face, he quickly attached to my breast and started to suckle,t tears didn’t stop as I looked up at Enji, he was wiping his own eyes.
“Have you thought of any names? Or should we wait a while?” The doctors said replacing her gloves and smock. “Well,” I looked up at Enji, “Things worked out, so? How about it?”
The doctor looked between us and Enji took the pen and notepad a nurse was holding, he wrote down the name and they nodded and took it, “Well then, I’ll leave you two with him a while longer until your pain has subsided and then we’ll take him to be weighed, and a few other things.”
We nodded and she smiled, “Congratulations, to the both of you.” Once more, after he stopped suckling I handed him to Enji and pulled my gown up, Enji seemed so scared, the baby WASNT small, he had rolls already, and they’re beautiful, but in Enji’s hands, he’s so small. “Hello,” he whispered and tried to cradle it ashore his chest on his forearm, it’s head resting against his bicep and pec. He brought his free hand to cover its torso and side, “I’m your father, I won’t ever leave you, I won’t ever hurt you, I never want to lose you, I’ll be with you always.” Call the hormone imbalance and recent loss of my child, but I was crying, I covered my face with my hands wiping the tears away, so cute.
***
“Enji?” I peeked into my room, nothing, “Enji?” Nothing was in the babies room, “Enji-“ there he was ok his back, on the floor, baby held up in the air, in his hands. The baby was laughing and flailing his arms and kicking. It was cute, I’d bought him an endeavor themed baby onesie, and Enji was wearing his hero costume without the armor. I stayed quiet watching as he stood up, and held the baby up to his shoulder, the baby placing a fist and his cheek on his shoulder, his eyes closed as Enji held him close. “I promise, I’ll never leave you.”
***
“where is he?!” I panicked and looked for my son, who just disappeared. I ran around the house and panic rose through the round when I heard gurgling don’t DROWN PELASE DONT DROWN BABY! Bursting into the master room fight or flight on high I felt stupid seeing Enji sleeping on his back arm circled around and pulling into his side the bundle of fire and Todoroki I was panicking for. The baby cooed moving closer to Enji, I sighed, my adrenaline wearing down, it was cute, especially when Enji turned to his side to hug our son to his chest, and mumbled out, “I’ll become someone you’ll be proud of, someone you can count on always.”
🤍🤍💙❤️💙🤍🖤🤍💙❤️💙🤍🤍
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svnflowervol666 · 5 years ago
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could u probably write one where h is dating a girl that’s a lil curvy? (You can look up someone like julia kelly and katya elise henry on ig/tumblr if u wanna know) and she gets a lot of comparisons from a few of his friends and fans, it kinda brings her down a bit bc idk man I’m a bit curvy too but i get so insecure sometimes knowing that people could be so judgmental but i know harry would love his girl no matter what 🥺❤️
Word Count: 2.2k
Warnings: smut-ish (at the end)
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Something was off with Y/N. Harry had known this for the past few days. It wasn’t that she’d been acting completely different, just so much so that being the caring and attentive person that he is, Harry had picked up on it.
At first, it was turning down second helpings at dinner. He didn’t think much of it aside from giving her the side-eye, because it was her favorite meal that Harry only cooked for her on special occasions. Next, it was her offering to pleasure him in the morning with her mouth instead of letting him take care of them both. Again, it was odd for her to turn down early morning sex, but he’d assumed she was just tired. Then came the nights when Y/N refused to sleep naked. Harry and Y/N always slept without clothes on, Harry claiming that it was just one more layer keeping them apart, which he hated. Again, he thought it was weird, but the weather had been particularly nipply lately so he’d chalked it up to her simply getting chilly throughout the night and needing the extra warmth.
The last and final straw, the whistle-blower that tied all of her off-kilter behaviors together, came to Harry when Y/N was in the shower. She was rinsing off after dinner, which she had only picked at anxiously with her fork without actually eating much of, and Harry was cleaning up the kitchen and living room to prepare for the movie night they had planned. When Harry went to move Y/N’s open laptop from the coffee table, he accidentally woke up the screen, and what he saw puzzled him to no end. It was an article pulled up on her browser, one from a tabloid company titled, “Reasons Why Y/N is Harry Styles’ Best Girlfriend.” The article was filled with photos of not only him and Y/N but of him and his past girlfriends as well. The point was to prove how much happier Harry looked with Y/N as opposed to his exes, but Harry was peeved regardless. Sure, some of these women had done him wrong in the past and left him feeling absolutely gutted, but he hated seeing them being put up against each other in this fashion.
Only adding to his frustration, the next tab over from the article was twitter account that Y/N and Harry had made one drunken night in order to spy on his fans and have a good laugh at how funny some of his followers were. They logged on and scrolled through the tweets together occasionally, but the tweets pulled up on the screen were all about Y/N’s body rather than jokes about how badly they wanted Harry to run them over with his car or memes made out of the horrid candids people had taken of him on stage. They claimed that Y/N was better than Camille because she “actually has an ass,” and that Taylor could never pull off a dress like the one Y/N wore on New Year's Eve because she didn’t have the right curves like Y/N did. Again, not necessarily negative comments, but this coupled with the other article Y/N had been looking at was enough for Harry to comprehend what was happening here.
It didn’t take much for Harry to put it all together, and it broke his heart when he did. She was comparing herself to the other girls Harry had been with. He wasn’t stupid. He knew what people said about Y/N and he knew very well that she looked much different than the other girls he typically went for. People certainly picked up on Harry’s “type,” seeing as he was always a hot topic for the press. Therefore when Y/N came along, everyone had tons to say on the matter. He avoided the comments as much as he could, but it was clear that Y/N was unable to say the same.
In the midst of planning how Harry would approach her on the subject, Y/N emerged from the top of the stairs and made her way over to the couch, dressed in an oversized shirt of Harry’s and a pair of her favorite underwear. Harry quickly closed her laptop and moved it into the kitchen as if he hadn’t just been snooping through her browser history.
“Alright,” she huffed as she plopped down onto the plush cushions of the sofa, wet hair sticking to the nape of her neck, “What’re we watching tonight?”
“Dunno,” Harry pondered, “Should we just search romantic comedies on Netflix and see what we find?”
“You know me too well, bubby,” she sighed contently.
A smile tugged at the corners of Harry’s mouth at the nickname she’d used. She appeared to be in a good mood, so he decided not to push his luck and try talking to her another day.
“Ye’ want some popcorn? Bought a new box at the store yesterday.”
“Uhh, no. I think I’m good. Still pretty full from dinner.”
You hardly touched your dinner, Harry thought to himself. He nodded (extremely hesitantly) at his girlfriend before situating his own self on the sofa next to her.
They settled on some independent film they knew they’d both hate, but that was the fun of it. Cracking jokes about how bad the acting was or about how inconsistent the main character’s accent was was almost more fun to Harry than watching a film that was actually good, which was why they ended up watching shitty, low budget ones on their designated, weekly movie nights.
Nearly halfway through the film, Harry absentmindedly slid his arm that was draped around her waist down to reach for Y/N’s thigh to place over his lap. He loved cuddling her this way, which their bodies morphed together and their legs intertwined under the coziest blanket in his house. Y/N loved it too, so Harry was shocked, but up until recently, not surprised, when she quickly pulled her leg away from Harry’s grip and off of his lap.
“Wha’s wrong? Ye’ don’t want to cuddle wi’ me?”
“What do you mean? I am cuddling with you?”
Harry huffed dramatically and rolled his eyes at his girlfriend’s feigned ignorance.
“Ye’ know exactly what I mean, baby. And it’s not just that. You’ve been acting weird lately. I know ye’ think I haven’t noticed, but I have. Ye’ don’t eat as much at dinner anymore, ye’ sleep with a t-shirt on. Ye’ don’t even want me touchin’ ye’ right now. Plus, I saw what was pulled up on your laptop while ye’ were in the shower. I’m not dumb, Y/N. Just wish you’d talk t’ me about it’s all.”
Y/N felt the embarrassment creep up her chest and spread to her neck. Her cheeks burned hot as she stared directly into his emerald green eyes that were begging, pleading for her to open up to him and tell him why she’d been so clearly obsessed with her appearance as of late. She’d had no idea that she’d even made a pattern out of her behaviors must less that Harry had picked up on them. 
“I-...Harry....I don’t want to talk about this right now,” her voice barely came over a whisper.
“Well, I do. What is it? Ye’ think your too big f’ me or somethin’?”
Y/N sighed frustratingly in Harry’s direction. 
“It’s not that. Not entirely anyway. It��s hard to explain. You’ll think it’s stupid.”
She tried not to look at Harry, but his burning gaze made it impossible to tear her eyes away.
“Baby, nothing ye’ say or feel is stupid. Talk t’ me.”
He placed his ringed hand on her kneecap. She was hesitant to not pull away from his touch, but she tried her best to relax against his grip.
“It’s just that...I don’t....look like the other girls you’ve been with,” Y/N chewed her bottom lip anxiously as soon as the words left her mouth.
Harry still didn’t see her point.
“So?” he questioned, “There’s a reason why I’m not with ‘em anymore.”
“I’m just...I see all of these comments about what people say about me...about us and it makes me feel weird.”
“Weird? Like wha’?”
“Weird like I don't really see why you’re even with me, H. I am the polar opposite of all of your exes.”
Harry had half a mind to be angry with Y/N for more or less accusing him of not loving her when that couldn’t have been further from the truth, but he was able to see things from her side and keep his urges to himself. He knew exactly what it was like to be under constant scrutiny from the press, but she didn’t. She didn’t ask for this, she didn’t deserve this, and she certainly shouldn’t be feeling the way she’s feeling right now. 
“Baby,” Harry cooed her, “Wha’ever it is that ye’ read or wha’ever ye’ thinkin’, ‘ts not true. I swear on me mum that you’re the girl I want t’ spend forever with. Ye’ don’t have to change anything about ye’self to get me t’ love ye’ any more than I already do.”
“But-”
“But nothing,” Harry interrupted, “Promise me ye’ won’t read that rubbish anymore. And promise you’ll stop hidin’ ye’self from me, too.”
Y/N nodded slowly, feeling the tension built up in her shoulders slowly dissipating into thin air. Harry was her favorite person in the world, and hearing that from him meant everything. Of course, she’d still have her moments when she’d feel like she wasn’t good enough, but everyone had those. 
“Good,” Harry leaned over to press a chaste kiss over her forehead, “Now give me a proper cuddle.”
He leaned over to grab her by the waist and hoisted her up completely on top of him.
“Harry, no!” Y/N sheepishly exclaimed through embarrassed giggles.
“Y/N, yes!” Harry taunted her as he made them both comfortable on the sofa once more. 
He pulled the blanket up over their shoulders and wrapped his arms securely around her back so that he could pet her spine whilst they finished the movie. She nestled into Harry’s shoulder and breathed in his scent that lingered on his fitted, white t-shirt. Twenty minutes ago, she’d have felt like she was crushing Harry under her weight, but not now. She felt at peace knowing Harry loved her for who she was.
As movie nights typically go with Harry, he started to get quite handsy towards the end of the film. He was starting to shift about the sofa and his palms were navigating towards the supple skin of Y/N’s bum. At first, it was a comforting hand slipping in between the hemline of her panties and just resting there against her bare skin, but soon turned into Harry kneading teasing, firm motions on her ass. His lips had found their way to the sensitive patch of her neck, sucking and tugging the area lazily, but still intense enough to mark her up. 
“Angel,” Harry beckoned when he was able to pull his lips away from her momentarily.
Y/N hummed in response, too intoxicated from the tingling sensation caused by Harry’s tongue mouthing at her throat.
“Sit up f’ me,” Harry demanded, his voice dripping with lust and desire. 
She did as she was told, sitting up so she was still straddling Harry’s chest as she looked down at him. Harry kept a close grip on Y/N’s thighs as he slid further down the couch and his face was now inches away from her core.
“Harry, what’re you-”
“Shh,” Harry’s eyes were blown out and glassy as he switched from looking into her eyes and the damp patch that was slowly but surely forming at the front of her cotton panties. 
“Just let me love on ye’ for a bit. Come closer t’ me.” 
He tried tugging her thighs so that she’d sit down a bit more against him, but she tensed up.
“But I don’t want to-”
“Ye’ not gonna crush me or wha’ever it is that ye’ worried about.”
“I might,” she mumbled to herself.
Her self-depreciation caused Harry to nip the inside of her bare thigh with his teeth, which made her jerk in response.
“Hey!” she scolded.
Harry took advantage of her moment of disorientation and kissed her heat over the front of her panties so that he could taste the juices that had accumulated there. Her chuckles quickly died down into moans when she felt the beginnings of his stubble graze the part of her body where she’d always needed Harry the most. 
“Ye’ gonna listen t’ me now, pet?” Harry asked as he replaced his lips with his thumb, where he began rubbing tantalizingly slow circles against her clothed clit.
“Mhmmm,” Y/N mewled.
“Though so,” Harry finished off with his infamous cheeky smirk.
She settled down properly onto Harry’s face, hovering just over his plump, shining lips until he was ready to taste her again. When he pulled her panties to the side and latched onto her dripping, wet core, she sank even further down against Harry’s tongue, eager to feel him in every possible nook and cranny that he could reach. He drank from her like he’d never wanted anything else in his all of his days.
Y/N had no doubt in her mind that at this moment, Harry was being honest when he said that she was the only person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
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eugenesmorphine · 5 years ago
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Hiya! can i get a speirs imagine, and like the girl is just a straight laced, i iron my skirts every night so they're like crisp in the morning kinda thing, and it's like post war, and he's just like not a mess, but like he's definitely a mess. idk. take literally any creative liberties lol.
Pleated Skirt And White Ribbon // Ronald Speirs Imagine
AN: I loved this request so much! I tried my best to make it what was wished for it. I hope you enjoy it.
Taglist: @alienoresimagines @hihosilvers @floydtab
Words: 2,453
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There he lay, in a knot of blankets and sheets as his sleeping body tossed and turned. Sweat dripped down his forehead as shined off the rest of his body. His brown hair sticking to his soaked forehead. Small grunts and low whines escaped his lips as the horrors of the war he had just left replayed throughout his mind. His fingers dug into the sheets, gripping them tight enough that it created small tears in the fabric. 
  Ronald's eyes shot open as he let out a loud and exasperated gasp. His body lurched upwards as his chest heaved. Sweat slowly dripping down his bare and now exposed skin. He ran a hand through his sopping hair and tried to regulate his breathing. 
  Ronald Speirs wasn't one for letting his emotions show. Well, besides anger and his threat of authority. Especially back in the war. He was a legend among every man in the Army Paratroopers. He was terrifying none the least. Rumors had gone around the companies about how he murdered a group of German soldiers that had surrendered themselves over to them. Offering them each a cigarette and lighting them for them. Just to go off into a shooting spree and killing at least twenty of them. Or was it forty? Hell, nobody really knew if it was true or not. There had been rumors that he shot some sergeant, or was he a private. Though, the truth was that Ronald was a ruthless man. He was mean, tough, and wasn't afraid of dying. He had beaten a Replacement nearly to death with the rest of Easy Company after the Replacement had shot an NCO.  
  Now here the Veteran was. Lying in his bed, in a pool of sweat, tears welled in his eyes after another night of being awoken from all the things he put himself through throughout the war. Ronald's eyes darted to the small clock that rested on his nightstand within his small room. It was just big enough for him. Which he didn't mind. It wasn't like he had anyone to share it with.
  The clock read '5:43 AM' . Ronald sighed heavily as he threw the already sprawled blankets and sheets to the side. Throwing his legs to one side of the mattress, planting his hands at either side of him. His head hanging low as his breathing was now at a normal pace. Only a few droplets of sweat now dropped onto the hardwood floor that his feet rested on. 'Might as well start the day, Right?' he thought to himself as his pushed himself up to stand. The cold air that came in through his his slightly cracked window, sending a shiver down his spine. Ronald closed his eyes for a moment, collecting his thoughts, and opening them. Going over to his dresser and digging out a pair of pants and a shirt. Pulling the pants over his long legs and over his boxers. Pulling the shirt over his head and pushing his arms through the holes. With another heavy sigh he ran his hands over his face and through his knotted hair. Walking to the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror. Placing his hands on the rim of the bathroom sink, resting his weight down on it as he stared into the mirror. 
  Deep purple bags rested beneath his eyes. Ronald's eyes a light red from both not sleeping and the common acts of crying. He just huffed and pushed himself off the sick. Turning around to exit and walk into the main area of his home. His lips pressed together tightly as he walked over to the front door. Grabbing his jacket and slipping it over his arms. His eyes went up to the clock that hung up on a wall. The time now was 6:57. The sun was already almost completely up by now. Ron went and slipped on his shoes. Deciding that maybe a cup of coffee at a local diner would cheer him up and help him wake up for the day.
  As he walked out of his house and shut the door behind him, he let the cool morning air hit him. Rushing over his body. Ronald inhaled the fresh air deeply, letting it flow around within his lungs for a few seconds before exhaling it back into the air. He immediately felt his tense muscles loosen. He looked forward down the sidewalk and took one more deep breath and shoving his permanent scarred and calloused hands  deep into his jacket pockets. Making his way down the pavement, keeping his gaze slightly down and avoiding everyone's view.
///
  The small bell attached to the top of the diner's main door chimed as Ronald pushed it open with one hand. A waitress turned and looked at him, a warm smile on her lips. Her red lipstick popping as she immediately pulled out a small notepad and pen when seeing Ronald's appearance. She brought him over to a small booth that was open. He ordered a cup of straight black coffee and the waitress darted into the kitchen. Leaving Ronald to sit alone, fiddling his thumbs as he waited in silence. 
  His mind had been raising as he just staring off at the table he was sitting at. That was until the diner's door chimed once more. Snagging his attention and his eyes darted upwards. His gaze landing on a woman with a light pink dress. It was sleeveless and the hems were lace. The skirt obviously ironed neatly. Her hair was pulled back with a white ribbon tied into a bow. A white headband to push her bangs back. Pink lipstick on her lips and rosy cheeks on her S/C skin. A smile on her lips as she spoke with another waitress. Ronald's eyes were glued to her. So much so that he didn't realize his waitress place his mug of coffee.
  "She's a doll, ain't she?" asked the Waitress. A small smile on her face as Ronald awkwardly coughed, knowing he was caught staring. Warmth came to his cheeks as he smoothed down his hair, grabbing his hot mug of coffee and holding it between his palms. 
  "Yeah, sure," he mumbled, looking out the window. The kind waitress lady chuckled as she turned around.
  "Her name is Y/N L/N, let me know if you want anything else Hun," her voice was smooth as she walked back into the kitchen. Ronald's eyes traveled back up to the young woman. She looked so neat and proper. She went and sat down in a booth in front of Ronald. Facing him, she looked up catching his eye. Y/N smiled at him, making Ronald's focus quickly going to whatever was going on outside the window. His cheeks now gaining a darker tint of red. 
  Ronald definitely changed when he got back to the states. He wasn't as dark or mysterious or mean, now he was kind of quiet. Still keeping the thousand yard stare that could kill, but now he was just by himself. He kind if kept in touch with his old fellow officers, but it wasn't a lot. He wasn't okay in the most part. But, he wasn't the type of man to talk about his nightmares and issues. I mean hell, he was Ronald Speirs, he was supposed to be terrifying and tough. Not broken and as mentally drained as he was. 
  Y/N studied him closely. She had heard about Speirs, it was a small town after all. And of course, he was a war hero. Word travels fast. She worked with War Veterans before, she knew how much they went through after the Wars. Her father had served in the first World War, she knew that when he left and when he got back, he wasn't the same. And he never was the same. So seeing the dark circles beneath his eyes and the bloodshot redness in the whites of his eyes, she knew what was up. Y/N knew that maybe she could talk to him. Plus, she thought he was kind of cute.
  She stood and walked over to the table, standing there for a second. Seeing if the man would notice her presence. But, when he didn't she licked her lip and put her hands behind her back. "Hey, is this seat taken?" she asked sweetly. 
  Ronald's head turned around quickly to look up at the woman. A toothy grin was being shined down onto him. He swallowed  as his mind darted in search for words. He was stuck like a teenage boy drooling over a crush. Ronald was wrong. He was a mess.
  "Oh, yeah. I mean no. You can sit there," he stumbled as he looked away. Mentally cursing at himself on how he was acting so foolish. Y/N sat down and placed her elbows on the table, resting her head on her palms. Fingers cupping her cheeks. A smile still on her lips. Ronald sat there awkwardly, it had been a long time since he had last flirted or really had a conversation with a pretty woman. And a woman like Y/N was so much different compared to him right of the bat. Politer, pristine, neat. Almost like a goddamn princess. Whilst Ronald was rough Paratrooper in Europe just months ago. He was used to the grunt life style. In fact, he kind of liked it. He stole, he was rude and coarse most of the time. And usually he just wore whatever he was comfortable with. Ron had lost most of his confidence after the war, he just wasn't the man he was during the war. He was lost. And now with this beautiful woman asking to sit with him, and he had no idea on what to say or do, he was realizing the truth of it.
  "So you're the infamous Ronald Speirs? I've heard a lot about you," she spoke as she Waistress came with a steaming cup of tea and place it in front of her. Giving Ronald a cheeky wink before turning and walking away. Y/N reached for her cup and lifted it to her mouth. She even rose her pinkie when she took a sip! Ron thought they only did that in movies! Though, he looked at her confused. What had she heard about him, he didn't know anything was going around about him. She noticed the confused look on his features and places her tea cup down softly.
  "The entire town knows about you, your a war Veteran! It's a small town Mr. Speirs, word gets around," she smiled as Ron just nodded, his lips pressed into a think line. She  extended her hand towards him. "I'm Y/N L/N, nice to meet you."
  Ron looked at her hand and took it within his. Her hands felt so soft against his rough and scarred ones. He shook her hand, not really wanting to let go. "Nice to meet you," his words were low but clear. He released her hand and she pulled it back, lightly lying it on the table. He already missed the feeling of her hand in his. Ronald Speirs would never admit it, but he was starved of a woman's touch. Starved of the feeling of love. With him being in war for three years, where all he saw was pure hatred, anger, and death for so long. Day after day. He forgot what it was like. But he yearned for it. And once he laid his eyes on this.. this princess of a woman, a strange and unique feeling exploded into his chest.
  For a few about a minute or so, they sat in silence. It was quite the awkward experience. Y/N felt that maybe he didn't wish for her to stay or to talk to her. 'Well it was worth a try,' she thought as she finished her last sip of tea. "I guess I should be going, it was nice to meet you Mr. Ronald Speirs. I apologize if I intruded in anyway," her words had a hint of disappointment and sadness as she began to stand up. Ronald's head darted up. Feeling bad after hearing her tone of voice. And there was no way in God's green Earth that he would pass up the oppurtunity that he had at this moment, with this perfect woman. He quickly reached for Y/N's wrist, his fingers wrapping around it. 
  Y/N's focus went down to the hand that grabbed at her wrist. Her eyes followed the wrist and arm to Ronald. Whose eyes were big and practically screamed out how much he wanted her to stay. "No, I'm sorry. It's just.. just.. Jesus Christ why is it so hard for me to just speak to you! You're just really pretty, and so nice, and so different than me. I'm so used to people being scared of me and I'm so tired and... and lost. I'm a mess, but I'm not. Ugh. I got this feeling when I first saw you walk in, I don't know what it was so different, and I don't think I ever felt it before. And I just.. I want to get to know you. And I don't want to be alone, so please stay," his cheeks reddened with embarrassment. Never really having to voice his emotions like he did just then. If any men from Easy saw him like this. So vulnerable, so weak, almost broken. They probably wouldn't even think it was the same man that they heard murderous rumors about and ultimately feared.
  Y/N smiled down at him, feeling the rush of heat go to her face and ears. Ron pulled his hand off her wrist and pealed it back and placed it on the table. His lips pressed into a thin line as his leg bounced up in down from the anxiety that flowed through his veins. The little lady sat down and reached for the man's hand. Ronald's body was now shaky slightly as he just did something he never really had down before. He was hesitant when her hand interlocked with his. Just thirty minutes ago they were strangers. Now they were this. This woman had to been a princess from a storybook come to life. There was no way she wasn't. He sheepishly looked up at her, some of his brown locks falling in front of his eyes.
   "Alright Ronald,you handsome devil, I'll stay. Tell me a bit about yourself," She was so filled with life, joy, and just straight sunshine. Ronald's ends of his lips quirked up into a small smile as he realized that maybe coming to get a cup of coffee this morning did actually fix him after all
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babbushka · 5 years ago
Text
Blue Christmas
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Clyde Logan x Reader ; 2k 
                                                         --------------
Clyde ain’t never seen such a prettier sight in his whole life, he thought as you were standin’ up on barstools strinin’ lights. You had decided that after Thanksgiving was of course the one and only perfect time to start decorating – and you had transformed the trailer into a little magical wonderland just for the two of you. You did such a good job in fact, that Clyde had all but begged ya to come to the bar and do it up real pretty too.
And you were, but Clyde couldn’t help but think that out of everything, out of all the lights and the ornaments and the décor, the prettiest thing was you.
It was early in the day on a Saturday, before the bar even officially opened for the weekend daydrinkers to sidle up to their unassigned assigned seat at the counter. Even though it was early and all the blinds were drawn, it was still dark in the bar on account of the thick blanket of snow that had fallen all across West Virginia.
Which was perfect for you, because it meant in the lowlight you could get a better idea of how all the lights and everything would look. You were lookin’ at the lights, but Clyde was lookin’ at you, and damn, were you pretty.
Soon though, you were hoppin’ down from the bar stools – which Clyde had to admit had made him nervous just because they weren’t meant for nobody to go standin’ on or nothing – and making your way over to the corner of the room, seemingly abandoning your task of hanging icicle lights down from the overhead cabinets of the bartop where Clyde keeps the clean glasses.
“Darlin’ what are you doin’?” He asks, watching you like you were some kinda daydream, as you got that determined look on your face.
You threw a smile over your shoulder as you moseyed on down to the jukebox, a great big shiny thing that was stocked with everyone’s favorite old country classics. It was a genuine, authentic one from the 60s, the kind that cost a quarter for three songs, and Clyde loved to let it play and play, especially when the customers were here but no one was really in the mood for talkin’.
It hadn’t been turned on just yet, with it only being the two of you, but you looked like you were fixin’ to change that if the quarter you pulled from your back pocket were anything to go by.
“Just looking for something a little festive.” You wink back at him, wink at him in a way that makes his face hot, makes his grip on the glass he’s cleanin’ go a little tighter, especially as you give him those eyes that have him weak in the knees when you ask, “Don’t tell me you don’t have any Christmas music on this jukebox?”
“I dunno I – ” He replies, wrackin’ his brain for if there was anything the two of you could listen to.
You cut him off with an excited noise, a happy little gasp as you flip through the records and find something fun, something festive.
“Bingo!” You grin selecting it. Soon enough, the upbeat sound of Elvis is rockin’ and rollin’ through the bar, and Clyde lets out a small little smile when you start twisting your hips along to the music with a,  “Well come on, you can’t just stand there.”
He raises his brows, realizin’ you mean to have him come join you. He can’t, absolutely cannot, dance. You know this, he knows this, y’all have been together long enough where he’s proven that point again and again and he’s blushin’ real proper now because you’re still lookin’ at him all too expectantly.
“But sweetheart I’m – ” He tries to play it off like he’s busy, only you just laugh, fond of him.
“It’s just us, come on.” You say, wiggling your shoulders in a way that has him drawn to how you’re your tits look in that top of yours, and it’s impossible to resist you, especially when you pout and give him a beggin’, “Please?”
He’s lost this battle, just like he loses just about every single one he goes up against with ya. He puts down the glass with a light thunk on the bartop, and is rounding the corner to join you.
“Oh damn it,” He grumbles, scoopin’ you up in his embrace, doin’ his best to not step on you with his huge sasquatch feet, “You know I can’t resist those big ol’ eyes of yours.”
You only grin, beam up at him with that pretty crooked smile and that twinkle in your eye, that twinkle that he ain’t so sure isn’t from the sparkling lights you’ve got plugged in, and he sighs.
“Why resist me?” You tease, and he does chuckle at that because, yeah, why?
Clyde always feels so comfortable around you, and that’s a feelin’ he ain’t never really had before. Sure he had his brother and sister, but they sometimes looked at him with pity in their gaze. And sure he’s got his bar, but sometimes folks from out of county come around and stare at his arm, make jokes at his expense, thinkin’ he’s too dumb to notice.
But you, not you. Never you. You hold his hand and curl your arm around his like it’s nothin’. You don’t stare at it too mournfully or joke about it or nothin’ else, it just ain’t a big deal to you. Except of course when it’s hurtin’ or when he needs help with it – then you’re sweeter than fresh honey on a hot summer’s day.
You’re like that with everything, Clyde finds. The way he talks, or the way he dresses, or any of it at all. And now, even now, you’re so damn lovely, dancin’ with him in the middle of his bar. The way he dances ain’t no laughin’ matter to you, even though really it should be, he can’t keep time to save his life. The most you do is flash him a loving smile if he accidentally hits your heel with his toe or fumbles.
He feels so comfortable with you in fact, that right there in the middle of his bar he decides what the hell, why not sing along? So as he has you pillowed against his chest, he takes in a deep breath and matches the lyrics word for word.
 I'll have a blue Christmas without you
I'll be so blue just thinking about you
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won't be the same dear, if you're not here with me
And when those blue snowflakes start falling
That's when those blue memories start calling
You'll be doin' all right, with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue blue blue Christmas
You'll be doin' all right, with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue Christmas
 Clyde used to hate this song, used to positively hate it. Because he used to be singin’ it all by his lonesome, just two Christmases ago. He used to sit in his bar or his car on the way from work and the radio would play this sad sad song and he’d hate himself for bein’ so lonely.
But now he’s got you, you who decorates the bar with garland and tinsel and lights and ornament, you who sets up a real tree right in the corner of the main room, you who decorates the tree with all sorts of fun bar-themed ornaments. You who he’s got in his arms, who he’s never gonna let go, and who he’s singin’ to make you smile.
The song comes to and end and you clap for him, applause that makes him blush and duck his head away, not wantin’ to meet your gaze and have you see just how fuckin’ much he loves you. But you’re chasing his eyes, that big toothy smile on your face, and like with everything else, he’s weak to resist you.
“Clyde Logan you big crooner!” You bite your lip with joy, practically unable to keep the grin off your face.
“You best hush your mouth, before I do somethin’ drastic.” He mumbles, feelin’ pleased and warm and like he’s got butterflies in his stomach that even after all this time together, ain’t never gonna go away.
Your smile turns to something more knowing, more seductive, more hungry, and your eyes darken in the low light from the snow outside, and when you lick your lips, Clyde has to plant himself down sturdy so he don’t go topplin’ over.
“Oh yeah? Like what.” You ask, taking in a deep breath, expanding your rib cage so that your tits would press against him as you look up at him with those thick lashes of yours.
You laugh and squeal when he spins you around and dips you real deep, so much so that you’re almost on the floor.
And then you are on the floor, because he’s laid you down gently, right there on the wood, and he’s fallin’ after you, on top of you, bracing his weight so he don’t crush you or nothin’.
And then he’s kissin’ you, real long and deep and meaningful, putting all of his love into the kiss. You wind your arms around him, tangle a hand or two in his hair, hold him by his ears and pull him closer closer closer to you, as your tongues slide against one another.
He has to make a split second-decision, has to decide if he’s gonna fuck you right then and there on the floor. Your legs are fallin’ open for him, letting him settle between them, letting him touch and grope you and wind his hand under your top and shove aside your bra to tweak your nipple. And he does, he does he does he does.
But it’s Christmas-time, and he’s romantic. He doesn’t want to fuck you on the floor like some rabid animal or nothin’, and just as soon as he’s got you splayed out for him, he’s pullin’ you back to standing.
You look like you’ve been on a rollercoaster, with your eyes too bright and your hair slightly mussed, clothes all rumpled and it’s Clyde’s turn to smile real big, when you keep reachin’ for him, keep stepping real close to him, not wanting to be out of his embrace just yet.
He gives you another slow, loving kiss, and when you rub your noses together he hum happily against your lips.
“Like that.” He pulls back for a moment, gives you a wink.
And then you’re laughin’ again, shaking your head and bumping your hip against his. He smacks your ass as you walk past him, back to the barstool where those icicle lights are still waiting to be hung up, back to decorating this place you’ve come to love and consider as much a home as the one you shared with him.
Clyde goes back behind the counter, picks up the glass he was cleanin’, and gets back to work. He’ll have his way with you later, he’s decided. Later when he can get you in your nice warm bed that you share, later when he can take you apart loudly and lovingly. Later when he can make you come six ways ‘til Sunday.
For now, it’s enough to be givin’ looks back and forth and then duckin’ away like you’re lovesick fools, because really, you are. You both are.
Soon the bar would open, and the daydrinkers would come in, and the weekend would begin. But in the soft stillness of the bar, the cozy atmosphere mixed with the beauty of your holiday touch, it felt like there was nothin’ that could ruin his mood, not even a sad song on a jukebox.
One thing was for sure, he thought as he still was certain he’d never seen a prettier sight in all his life, when he was lookin’ at you -- he’d never be havin’ a blue Christmas again.
                                                      --------------
Taggin’ some Clyde lovin’ friends! <33 @kyloxfem​ @autumnlovesadam​ @dreamboatdriver​ @fullofbees​ @adamsnackdriver​ @solotriplets​ @formerly-anonhamster​ @kylo-renne​ @callmehopeless​ @magikevalynn​ @scheherazades-horcrux​ @whiskey-bumblebee​
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howlingsaturn · 5 years ago
Text
three words, eight letters
once Ben has told Callum that he loves him, he can't seem to stop.
ONE
Ben knows Callum's right, he always is, but sitting on the kitchen table staring at the British Sign Language For Dummies book that Callum has dropped in front of him this morning, Ben can't help but feel severely out of his depth. He laughed when he first read the title and Callum's earned himself a half-hearted jab into his arm but the way Callum pressed a lingering kiss to his hairline before he left for work got Ben thinking. He can't go on like this, it's driving him crazy. And if he does stay deaf for the rest of his life, he's got to find a new way to deal with it.
So he flicks through the book, trying out some signs after he's made sure that no one's looking and he feels so unbearably stupid that he aggressively closes the book a mere half an hour later. He grabs his jacket and heads out, the book long forgotten on the kitchen table. It's not before he comes home that evening and he sees Lexi reading it with intense focus that he realises he may have overreacted. Sue him, he's not the most patient guy. Lexi sees him standing in the doorway, glaring daggers at the book, and promptly sits up straighter. 
"Daddy," she calls out, giving him a small wave to catch his attention, "Are you gonna help me?" 
Ben looks at her for another second, comprehending what she's just asked and then he sighs. Out of all the children in the world, he just had to have the smartest one. It makes him smile. 
He sits down next to her and they learn a couple of basic signs like How are you and My name is or I need two apples. It's kinda nice actually and Ben doesn't feel like he's doing it because he has to. When Callum walks in an hour later, he drops a kiss to top of Ben's head and joins them, a blinding smile on his lips. 
It goes on like that for a few days, Ben flicking through the book or watching videos on YouTube with Lexi or Callum. Even Jay and Lola sit with him sometimes, learning a few signs themselves and it makes something in his chest ache with gratitude. He's still struggling with the realisation, some days are worse than others, and no amount of studying or gentle words can lessen the fear of losing his hearing forever. It sits right in his bones, sending a flair of pain through his body with every movement.
He's trying though, he's trying to live his life as normal as possible even though it's anything but. He tries to keep an open mind and find some humour in the whole thing, which is why he ends up making random movements with his hands sometimes just to see Jay's confused face or watch Callum frantically skip through the book to try and piece the single elements together. It makes Ben genuinely laugh every time so they can't even be mad at him.
Sometimes Ben finds himself alone though and it hasn't occurred to him until now, but there's a phase he'd really like to learn how to sign. It's something he's been dying to say, since he's been feeling it for ages but something always held him back. His past, probably. His fears. But after everything he's been through, after pushing Callum away and putting him in danger, he's still here. And he never fails to tell Ben how much he loves him, how he's in it for the long run and nothing could ever drive him away. Ben wants to give back, wants to say it back but things are different now. He's different and he won't even be able to hear himself say it so what's the use in speaking it out loud. No, Ben thinks, he's going to do it his way. Control is all he has these days. 
So he googles and practices until he's sure he's got it right and then he signs it a couple of times every day as if he's preparing himself. He's nervous and scared even though he knows Callum reciprocates his feelings. There's just something about putting his heart on the line like that, reaching into his chest and lying it bare, all of it, and giving Callum the possibility to crush it. It's terrifying. Shivers tremble through his body when he thinks about what happened to the last person he said it to. Ben doesn't think he'd survive if that were to happen to Callum. 
He shakes his head as if to clear his mind, willing the ugly thoughts away. He wants to be brave, just this once. 
So when Callum walks into the kitchen one evening, smiling at Ben like he's hung all the stars in the sky, Ben feels something tug at his heart. Ben looks at him, oddly anxious and insecure and Callum notices immediately. He sits down next to him, turning his body sideways so that he can look at him properly and reaches for his hand, tangling their fingers together.
"You okay?" 
Ben sighs and squeezes his hand, his mind all over the place, but looking at Callum and seeing the way his forehead crinkles in worry, Ben forgets all about his fears. This is Callum. The same Callum who's been with him to every doctor's appointment, who's encouraged him to learn sign language and who's always come back, no matter how far Ben has pushed him away. He's not gonna run and he's not going to suffer because of Ben, not anymore. Ben will make sure of that. 
So he takes another deep breath in, allowing a small smile to spread on his lips and when Callum raises his eyebrows in question, most of his worry gone, Ben begins to sign. He points to himself first and Callum's eyes drop to his hands. He then brings his hands to his chest, one resting over the other, and he keeps them there for a second. Callum's gaze flicks between his hands and his eyes in concentration, trying to figure out what Ben is saying and it makes Ben smile even more. He breaks the hold and points to Callum, confusing him even more.
The frown in back between Callum's brows and Ben rolls his eyes a little, cheeks warm. He signs again, slowly and deliberately, and when he reaches the last step, he presses his palm to Callum's chest, right above his heart. Callum looks down and then up and something in his head clicks, Ben sees the realisation clearly. 
Callum swallows and clears his throat, clutching at Ben's wrist again his chest.
"Does that mean what I think it does?" 
Ben tilts his head a little, smiling, and after a moment he nods. The grin that spreads on Callum's face is blinding and the knots that were previously in Ben's stomachs loosen into a thousand butterflies. Callum leans forward and kisses him, hands reaching up to cup his cheek and Ben hasn't felt this giddy in quite a while. 
Callum pulls back a little, breathing against his mouth as he speaks. 
"I love you too." 
Ben doesn't really hear it but he feels the way Callum's lips curl against his own. It's spoken so gently and quietly that it doesn't make Ben's skin crawl like every other sound does. Resting their foreheads together, they stay like that for a while. Ben feels like a weight has been dropped off his shoulder and his chest no longer feels tight around his heart. He's been wanting to say them for so long, it seems like he can't tell them often enough now. So if Ben signs it every time Callum so much as looks at him, no one has to know. 
TWO
It's the evening before the surgery and Ben has been lying in bed for hours now, staring at the blank ceiling in silence. His heart is pounding, his skin itching and he can't seem to calm down. There's a thousand thoughts in his mind, pulling and tearing until Ben feels dizzy and he has to close his eyes against the nausea. 
The bed dips next to him and Callum shuffles close, wrapping an arm around his stomach and pressing a kiss to his shoulder. He doesn't say anything for a while, simply lies with him in silence and Ben takes comfort in his proximity, breathing in the tranquility he finds in Callum's space. 
"Are you scared?" Callum eventually asks, breath fanning against Ben's cheek and his voice is so quiet that Ben can't even try to make it out. He turns his head from the ceiling and watches Callum's lips as he repeats himself. Ben sighs when he understands, diverting his eyes again. 
"Honestly? I'm terrified." 
They're quiet for a long time, Callum not knowing what to say and Ben lost in his own head. This surgery might be his only chance of getting his old life back, of being able to understand what the people around him say. He can live with being partially deaf but no hearing at all? Ben thought he'd be able to grow accustomed to it, it's not so different from what he's used to, right? Wrong. Oh, he was so damn wrong. 
Swallowing the lump in his throat he turns to Callum and his eyes are already there, warm and comforting, and Ben reaches for his arm like a lifeline. Callum squeezes him tighter, shuffling even closer and pressing the line of his body to Ben's side. He holds him for another moment and then Ben begins to speak, quiet and broken. 
"What if I don't get to hear your voice again?" He asks and Callum's heart aches. "What if I don't hear Lexi's voice ever again?"
"You will," Callum argues and Ben shakes his head, turning away again. Callum doesn't know what else to do, doesn't know what to say to make Ben believe and so he holds him close, a silent promise that he's not gonna leave, that he'll be there no matter what. Ben holds him just as tightly, tilting his head so it's resting against Callum's own, his arms blanketing Callum's on his stomach. They stay like that until Ben's breathing evens out and Callum's sure he's asleep. It's not until then that Callum takes a deep breath of his own, trying to calm his racing heart. He squeezes his eyes shut, willing himself to stay calm and focused. 
Surgery is gonna be a success, he tells himself, over and over again like a prayer, hoping someone up there can hear it. 
Ben begins to shift then and Callum blinks his eyes open. He looks down to find Ben stroking over his knuckles with his thumb, apparently trying to catch Callum's attention. 
"What are y--"
"Shush," Ben interrupts him, waiting for Callum to settle. Callum sighs but cuddles back into his shoulder, closing his eyes again. On his next exhale Ben begins to move his thumb more deliberately, drawing letters into every patch of skin he can reach. He repeats the movements several times, making sure to draw them in the exact same manner:
An I into the crook of Callum's elbow, followed by l o v and e into the mid of Callum's forearm, a y into the soft skin of his wrist and down until he writes the final two letters o and u onto the back of Callum's hand. 
When Callum's brain catches up, he turns his hand sideways so that Ben's thumb presses into the palm of his hand and then he waits until Ben's other fingers follow, lacing them together loosely. Callum presses another kiss to Ben's shoulder and strains himself up a little to graze the second kiss against Ben's cheek. It's his way of letting Ben knows he reciprocates the feeling.
Fear untangles its poisoned claws from Ben's heart and when he falls asleep a few minutes later, he feels peaceful. No matter what happens tomorrow, he knows he will not be alone. 
THREE 
Ben blinks his eyes open heavily and when Callum's smiling face comes into view, he releases a breath of relief. Callum signs to him, telling him that the surgery went well and Ben smiles. His doctor comes in then, telling him about the surgery and what's going to happen next and Ben feels giddy with it all. 
I'm going to be okay, he repeats in his head until his cheeks hurt from smiling so much. He knows he needs to be patient, take it easy and allow his body to heal but still, he can't help but be excited. 
He's send home the next day and he spends the following 3 weeks recovering. Callum stands by him the whole time, taking care of him and the incision, and the day of the activation comes quicker than expected. 
Callum holds his hand the whole time and when the implant is finally activated Ben feels a little disoriented at first. There's only odd and singular sounds, reaching different volumes and intensities, and it takes Ben a few minutes to grow used to them. The audiologist looks over at Callum then and Callum jumps into action immediately, squeezing Ben's hand and calling out for him.
Ben's head turns immediately, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. 
"Can you hear me?" Callum asks and after a few seconds of silence, Ben nods. 
"Yeah?" 
Ben nods again, more confident this time, and when a huge smile spreads over his face, Callum has to blink away the tears that well in his eyes. The audiologist does a few more tests and asks Ben a few questions that he responds to with another nod and then he turns to look at Callum. 
"I love you," Ben says out of nowhere, eyes sparkling with joy when he hears himself speak the words he's been so scared of for the past few years. 
"I love you," he repeats and Callum's eyes widen in surprise, the corner of his lips twitching with the need to smile. 
"I love you too," Callum responds and then he leans forward, cupping Ben's cheek in his palm as he kisses him. They break apart quickly, their smiles too huge to be properly kissing but Ben couldn't care less. He's never been more happy. 
FOUR 
Ben's awake in the middle of the night, staring at the ceiling like he's done two months ago but he's not afraid this time, far from it. Turning his head he looks at Callum's sleeping form; his face turned away from Ben, smushed into the pillow as he lays on his stomach. Ben's lips curl into a smile without him meaning to and he flops onto his side, reaching out a hand to rest his palm against Callum's warm back. 
He strokes his knuckles idly over the line of Callum's back, wrinkling his shirt in the process. The fact that he can hear Callum's soft little snores makes something in his chest tighten with gratitude. His hearing isn't perfect, never was and never will be, he's accepted that. There's bad days, a lot of them, to be fair, but he's got his family to help him through it.
He's got Callum. And God, does he love him. Ben has only experienced a love like that once, when Lexi was born. He didn't think he'd love so wholeheartedly and unconditionally again. But Callum's different, he brought colour where everything was dark and Ben realised that loving him and being loved by him in return was one of the best things that could've happened to him. Callum saved him, in more ways than one, and Ben would be stupid if he ever let him slip through his fingers again. 
Smiling to himself, Ben draws a long line onto Callum's back, starting from the top of his spine and ending at the hem of his boxers. Then he draws a big heart right into the middle of Callum's back, smile widening at the memory. At last, he draws a wide U from the left shoulder blade to the right one, his stomach fluttering like he's said the words out loud. 
"Is there a reason you capitalised them all?"
Ben snorts at that, shaking his head with a laugh. He blushes a little, not having expected Callum to be awake and notice his little shenanigans, and he's suddenly very glad for the darkness in their bedroom.
"I love you too babe," Callum adds, voice thick with sleep, "But it's the middle of the night so go back to sleep will ya?"
Ben stifels a laugh, grinning into Callum's shoulder instead and his heart sings with happiness. 
God, he thinks, I'm bloody crazy about him. 
He falls asleep with a smile on his lips. 
50 notes · View notes
txtdiaries · 5 years ago
Text
Momentum - Chapter Two
SUMMARY |  You don’t know what to expect during your first ever date with the boy of your dreams, but as the night goes on and things start to fall into place almost effortlessly, you realize one thing and one thing only about Choi Soobin - he is perfect for you.
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PAIRING | Soobin X Reader
CATEGORY | college au, crush, slow burn, sports, date night, etc.
WORD COUNT | 7.9k
WARNINGS | swearing, fluff galore
SONG REC | Two More Minutes - Jaymes Young
PLAYLIST | momentum playlist
Preview / Chapter One / Chapter Two
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Your eyes scan the football field, searching for the only jersey with the number 8 etched into the back of it as your feet carry you across the damp turf. You notice the group of players huddled up a few yards away as you get closer, and you make sure to skew from the coach’s line of sight  - not wanting to draw attention to yourself in the process.
Regardless of it being almost seven at night, the sun still hasn’t fully set, and the sky is radiating a slightly darkened blue color. You take a moment to skim over the players again, eyes finally focusing on one specifically when they find the tallest boy amid the group.
Soobin is always easy to find. 
He’s adorning his black and white football uniform, paired with his cleats and black knee socks, and a checkered sweatband is wrapped around his wrist to finish off his practice attire. You take note of the way your chest squeezes once he grins at something another one of his teammates says, and quickly shake your head to somehow shake the feeling off. 
You notice how Soobin’s helmet dangles from in between his fingers as you get closer - having been taken off only moments before - and how his black hair is matted down; clinging against his forehead and neck. His glasses are nowhere to be seen, and seeing him without them sends butterflies erupting in your stomach. The number on his back - Soobin’s famous number - beams proudly under the fluorescent lights dotted around the edges of the field, and you take a second to mull over the nickname he’s carried since freshman year to now. The unforgettable nickname that’s been his, and only his, since the first game of the season, two years ago.
The golden infinity, he had been labeled, since Soobin is supposedly the best in everyone’s eyes, and always will be. You can’t exactly blame them for thinking so. Soobin is the best of the best - you just can’t help but wonder if he sees himself this way too.
You know better than to think so.
After a few moments of shifting your weight from one foot to the other, you clear your throat; causing a few eyes to look your way. You don’t actually know that many of the boys on the football team. You only recognize a cute boy named Hyunjin, who has Math with you, and another boy named Mark.
You’re familiar with Mark. Not only because he’s popular and the football team’s star quarterback, but because he hit on you in English class last week. You avoid his burning stare instantly
“Yo, infinity,” Mark interrupts the coach’s light speal about the game-plan review for next week and looks over toward Soobin. He snaps his head in Mark’s direction at the mention of his name and his eyebrows furrow in confusion.
“Your girlfriend is here.”
Your heart lurches in your chest after the words are said, and you watch as Soobin’s cheeks burn suddenly when Mark motions towards you. He quickly looks over with a light chuckle before his gaze lands on you. Your eyes widen as they flash over Mark before meeting Soobin’s again. He only grins at this.
You don’t actually know how Mark knows you’re there for Soobin, but you quickly gather that he had to have told some of his friends he had a date. Teammates or not, word spreads fast amongst jocks. Soobin is clearly no exception.
The coach finishes his speech and the players all break, half of them barely paying attention anyway as he tries to keep everyone’s energy up for the next game. Soobin shoves Mark’s shoulder amidst the chaos, and then moves quickly to grab his bag and walk over to your spot near the bench, a shy grin adorning his face as he does so. You fight to hold one back as well.
“Hey, sorry for having you come all the way here. Practice ran over.”
You shrug lightheartedly, “It’s fine, I don’t mind.”
His dimple carves it’s place into his cheek, and you feel yourself smile back at Soobin, heart rate accelerating. 
“Alright. We can head back to my dorm just so I can get out of these clothes and then we can head out, sound good?”
You nod as if you aren’t spiked with anxiety, because you’re really about to go to the Choi Soobin’s dorm room. You try not to overthink the situation, and then follow him off the field and onto the sidewalk, walking towards the student housing buildings quickly.
Soobin keeps you both occupied as you make your way east of the football field - asking you about your classes, how your day was going, and just about everything in between. You can sense his nerves as you two speak, but try to relax. After all, it is just Soobin. 
“My roommate shouldn’t be back yet, he had a test to study for.” Soobin explains once you two finally reach his dorm and stand in front of his room. He fishes a pair of keys from his black duffel bag and slides a small silver one into the lock, twisting lightly before pushing the door open. It’s one of the most mundane things ever - but it brings a blush to your cheeks. 
Get it together, you tell yourself. 
You walk in behind Soobin and watch as he carelessly tosses his items aside and onto the floor near his bed. You avert your eyes after he opens one of his dresser drawers, not wanting to seem nosy before your eyes start to wander around the room, studying it curiously.
Soobin’s roommate truly is nowhere to be seen, but his side of the room is so messy, you wouldn’t be surprised if he happened to be buried somewhere under all the laundry on the ground. His side of the room is far less organized, so you don’t pay much attention to it. 
Soobin’s half, on the other hand, is practically spotless. 
His bed is made, adorn with black bedsheets and matching pillows. He has a small bunny plushy propped up against one pillow, and you grin when you see it. Colorful throw pillows and even a small fluffy blanket are the only colorful items occupying the bed, making it look extremely comfortable along with welcoming. Your heart warms at Soobin’s possessions.
His laptop sits closed on his desk in the corner, and a pair of speakers sit on each side of it, turned off. Textbooks are lined up neatly on his long shelf just above, and his black backpack rests on the chair just next to it. Soobin doesn’t have a lot of space for his things, but from what you can see, everything on his side is just purely Soobin. From his bottled cologne resting on his shelf, or his glasses resting on the Algebra book laid open on his bed. Small details of him lie right in front of your eyes, and you take note of all of them.
The packet of unopened ramen noodles near his books, most likely for late night snacking. His pencil case shoved to the brim with different colored pens and highlighters for the hours he undoubtedly spends studying. Even the black journal you see peeking out from under his pillow, and the romance novel he strategically has shoved next to a science textbook on his desk, these small things hidden by others, almost as if he doesn’t want to be completely and fully exposed - even in his own bedroom. It all comes together perfectly.
You know right here and now - you really like Soobin. 
“I’m sorry it’s kinda messy.” Soobin speaks up as he pulls out a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, leaning over to swipe his glasses of the book before looking down at you bashfully. 
You smile up at him, “You gotta stop apologizing so much. It’s not messy at all.” 
He chuckles lowly at this before shaking his head. 
“You can sit down if you want, I’ll just be a minute.”
You tuck some hair behind your ear and nod, moving to sit on his bed as he makes his way to the door again. Your stomach flips at the thought of being alone in Soobin’s room - almost like you shouldn’t be here at all. Like it’s his sacred place you shouldn’t have invaded in the first place. With your thoughts running and your eyes wandering again, Soobin steps out, closing the door behind him. 
Your phone buzzes instantly - almost as if it was waiting for him to leave. 
You pull it from your back pocket in confusion, eyes scanning over the text you see as soon as you do. 
HOW’S IT GOING? - Junie
The text sent in all caps stares back at you in all its glory, and you laugh at Yeonjun’s excitement. You thumb back a reply easily.
I’m literally in his dorm room right now - send help. 
You lock your screen and pocket the device again, fingers drumming against your knee in boredom. You don’t want to inspect every inch of the room, because that would be weird, so instead you stand and peer at Soobin’s book collection, trying to see if you have any of the same ones. 
You can’t remember if Soobin is a literature major or a communication major, and your memory flashes as you swiftly recall that he had switched from one to the other. The only reason you know this is because Yeonjun, ironically, had a mutual friend with Soobin, and they had seen him leaving the Advising Center one sunny day last semester. After his friend Beomgyu, Yeonjun had later filled you in on his name, saw him, they chatted for a bit with Yeonjun right there. Although he couldn’t remember any of the most pressing details - you were lucky, and a little shocked, to get any at all. Besides, Soobin was just a casual crush you had - a boy you blushed and hid from whenever you saw him crossing campus - it almost felt weird to be informed of these things when you didn’t really know him in the first place.
Until now. Now, you were getting there.
After your eyes scan over his Digital Communication book and his Human Relations book, you safely decide that he was in fact a COMM major. You can’t help as your mind starts to wander, filling with questions and wondering why he switched in the first place. Clearly he loved literature - that was obvious given his extensive collection of literary classics and, surprisingly, modern romance and sci-fi novels, stacked on his shelf. Maybe he had simply switched because it wasn’t for him. Or maybe he switched for an entirely different reason. You can only wonder. 
Soobin re-appears in no time, and you glance over as he walks in again, noticing how his hair is now styled and his outfit, changed. You smile at this before meeting his eyes.
“Ready?” He questions, a cute grin tugging at the corners of his lips. You nod swiftly and step forward, moving to walk out the doorway with him. 
“You still haven’t told me where we’re going,” You comment, noticing how Soobin’s shoulder brushes against yours as he reaches into his pocket for his keys again to lock the door, “You could be kidnapping me for all I know.”
Instead of giving you a clear answer, he chuckles and pulls you gently, excitedly by the wrist towards the exit, “Well it wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?”
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“You’re swinging too low!” You call to Soobin who stands behind a chain linked fence, baseball bat in hand and helmet on head, facing an automatic pitching machine.
Out of all the places Soobin could have taken you on a first date, he took you to a sports playground. And to make matters even better - he was losing.
“Aren’t you supposed to be a jock?” You tease, watching as Soobin swings aggressively again, missing the ball by a longshot. His shoulders shake with laughter at your comment before he yells back, fixing his stance again.
“I’m out of practice and you’re making me nervous!”
You nod even though he can’t see and tug your own helmet on, laughing at his final swing. Soobin ticks the ball and sends it flying to the left of him, travelling a few feet away before crashing into the fence. His eyes meet yours as you walk up to the gate entrance. 
“Well I could have done better than that.” You say.
Soobin laughs at you, and it warms something deep in the pit of your stomach, “I’ll school you at basketball later on, don’t worry. Just try getting a few swings in to warm up and then get ready to lose.”
He was overly enthusiastic when you two first arrived, hands covering your eyes so you wouldn’t peek and ruin the surprise. When he finally revealed the large sign outside reading Benny’s Sports Playground, he was grinning ear to ear. You should have known Soobin would take you to a place like this for your first date. It was perfect, and you were both eager to play some games.
First on the list was baseball, seeing as it was the first actual game to be seen as you both entered. It was secluded enough, through a small entrance and shielded by a chain fence linked around its perimeter. It was a good warm-up game, you and Soobin had both agreed on that. After baseball, though, it’s basketball. And after that, you don’t dare guess what Soobin has in mind.
“I won’t be the one losing.” You feign confidence, stepping onto the artificial field before making your way over.
“Okay,” He shrugs, voice raising a few octaves as he shrugs goofily, “Okay! Prove it then.” 
You laugh at his tone, walking over to take the bat from him. Soobin pulls back gently as soon as you reach for it, lifting it back and up so it’s just out of reach, and smirks at you. You frown now and grab at it, pulling after your fingers wrap around the handle.
You realize, just then, that you two are acting like a couple. To a complete stranger, it could be interpreted as shameless flirting, and the thought alone almost makes you blush. Because Soobin is flirting, and you are actually letting him.
“Okay, okay, let’s see what you’ve got.” Soobin finally releases the bat after your shared moment, and steps back to lean against the fence enclosing the two of you a few feet away. You know he shouldn’t be the distance away that he is while you’re batting, but you don’t mention it. The workers took their break as soon as the two of you arrived anyway, not seeing the need to watch over two adults. You just hope they don’t arrive back anytime soon.
“You’re gonna regret making fun of me, watch.” You giggle, widening your stance before lifting the bat up, squaring your eyes on the machine a few yards away.
“Focus on the ball, not on me.” Soobin teases you back, but it makes your stomach flip anyway. You clear your throat after his words hang in the empty air, finally taking a deep breath before preparing to swing.
“I can do both.” You admit, far too quickly than you’d like, and you feel your cheeks heat up right after. You hear Soobin let out a laugh again before you laugh along, finally focusing the majority of your attention on the machine.
You only just let out a full breathe before the white ball is shooting out from the pitching square and flying rapidly towards you. You can feel yourself react a few seconds too late, and the ball goes rushing past you and clashes harshly into the fence just right of you as you swing, body spinning as you lose your footing from your uneven swing.
Soobin is right by your side now, trying to hold back his giggles as you stumble.
“Oh my- are you okay?” He beams, trying not to tease you.
“I’m fine.” You huff, shrugging his hands off your shoulders nonchalantly from where they touched your skin, feeling it tingle from where his fingers came in contact. You pretend not to notice. You feel a bit embarrassed.
“You gotta swing a little earlier,” Soobin encourages you, backing up swiftly before finding his spot against the fence again, “Focus on swinging as soon as it leaves the pitch so you’ll knock it as soon as it gets to you.”
You nod at his words, stabilizing your footing again before looking straight ahead again. You take another deep breath and grip the bat in your hands tightly, trying to do exactly as he told you. A beat passes and another ball is being shot towards you, causing your nerves to spike as soon as it gets closer.
You swing too soon.
You whine a bit as the fence behind you shakes, the force of the ball setting it out of balance as the sound echoes off it. Soobin is laughing now, finally moving back towards you before the next ball comes.
“Okay,” He starts, hands suddenly on your arms. Every nerve springs to attention where he touches, hyper aware of how he feels against you. You let out a soft sigh, hoping he can’t hear it.
“So you need to hold the bat up more.” He explains, fingers enclosing around yours as his front meets your back just slightly, helping you get your grip right. He gently taps your shoe with his, causing you to spread your stance again with a small, “Oh.” 
“Now that your stance is good, twist your body. Not a lot, just slightly for your force.”
Soobin twists with you to the right, helping you stop just where you need to.
You wonder, suddenly, if he’s done this before. Not the baseball part, because obviously he has, but the flirting part. Helping other girls with their stances and so on. It’s a good move - practically a classic. You wouldn’t be that surprised if he’s done it before.
Soobin’s voice suddenly starts shaking, just slightly and almost unnoticed by you as his body comes in contact with yours a bit more when he speaks again, almost taken over by his nerves. The previous thought disappears instantly. 
You realize now - he hasn’t.
“I- okay.” He says softly, “When the ball comes, wait until you know you’ll swing and hit it. You have to time it perfectly.” Soobin is patient with you, hands hesitating on yours longer than they need to before he steps back, taking all his warmth and scent with him. You miss him as soon as he steps away, before catching yourself. You remember that you need to focus.
“Okay.” You say, determined to hit the ball this time. You take another breath, your third ball is the final one, and you know you can’t miss now.
Mercilessly, the ball shoots from the machine with no time to spare, and you force yourself to wait - to time it and not swing too soon or too late. You force yourself to get it perfectly.
Crack!
The ball flies opposite from the direction it came. You’re barely able to focus on that though, because along with the metal in your hands sending a painful vibrating feeling through your hands from the force, your body still hasn’t registered that the ball is far gone. It still moves along with your arms, sending your feet out of balance again as you tip to the left as your balance falters.
The bat falls to the ground with a repeated clanking sound, but you barely notice. You notice Soobin’s presence again, only just a second too late as you trip over your footing, sending him down with you as your body throws his balance off as well.
“Oh shi-” 
You’re unable to finish your sentence as you both slip, knees burning underneath you as your bodies come in contact with the artificial flooring and then each other, Soobin’s body already taking more of the impact than yours.
You can still feel his hands gripping your hips when the world stills, pain shooting through your left side intently. 
It all happens so fast it’s almost impossible to know it even happened until it’s over, your body throbbing in pain as you realize what happened. Both your helmets lay next to the two of you, flipped upside down.
“Oh god.” Soobin suddenly groans from underneath you, taking a shaky breath.
“I’m so so-”
You finally meet his eyes, heart dropping at your current position.
Soobin is underneath you, eyes no longer covered by his glasses but closed tightly as his head rests against the floor, only inches from yours. Your bodies are pressed against eachother’s, limbs intertwined messily due to your fall.
You’re level when he finally opens his eyes, meeting yours.
All the words you had planned on saying are wiped from your mind when Soobin looks up at you.
“I...” You try again, finally realizing the intensity of all of this.
You see emotion flash in Soobin’s eyes when he realizes too - but he doesn’t move. His hands keep their place on your hips as you both breathe heavily, staring into the other’s eyes.
“I’m sorry.” Soobin says softly, even though it wasn’t his fault. Your eyebrows furrow as his soft breaths splay over your cheeks in light puffs. Soobin smells of mint, and your stomach flips at the softness of his tone.
“It was my fault.” You retort, aware of the feeling of his large body against yours. Every single cell in your body is screaming at the feeling, but you try and act unaffected. Soobin, on the other hand, doesn’t try as hard.
His eyes trail down from your eyes to your lips before moving back up, head tilting just slightly. It’s almost like Soobin is curious - just to see how you react to him like this. You feel the crackle of excitement and nerves find place in your stomach, and your cheeks heat up with a blush you know Soobin sees.
It’s all on him, you think. It’s his move.
After all, you aren’t bold enough to make the first move with Soobin. You think he knows this.
“Maybe we...” Soobin hesitates, eyes flashing with emotion, “Um- maybe we should move on from baseball. We both suck at it.”
And just like that, the moment is gone.
“Ah, yeah.” You cut through the silence, clearing your throat before your hands plant themselves on his shoulders, lifting yourself up and off of him. Soobin lets out a sigh as you move farther away, almost looking less nervous, and you pretend you don’t notice. Your knee burns at it comes in contact with the floor, but you ignore it and push up off it, regain your footing steadily again.
Your nerves die down, the feeling of hope stamped down in a cloud of smoke as Soobin stands up, brushing his hands on his jeans lightly before he leans to grab the bat abandoned a few feet away along with his, luckily, unharmed glasses. You know that the machine times out after three balls each so theres no need to worry about it going off again. The only worry in your mind is Soobin and how the two of you will interact after what just happened.
You don’t want to make it awkward, so you try your hardest not to.
“I hit it.” You speak up, hoping Soobin accepts the transition easily.
Relief floods your veins when he smiles over at you from the bat rack.
“I know, you hit it pretty hard too. You should try out for softball next season.”
Things slip back into their own rhythm as you two laugh, the moment gone but not forgotten as you meet back up near the exit and leave the batting cages after putting everything away, walking back into the main junction of the building to choose a new game. Your heart feels better when Soobin gives you his best smile, calming you down.
“So, basketball?” He asks, reaching in his back pocket for the small map provided when you two first came in displaying the location of every activity the company provides.
“Ooh, yes. I’m actually decent at basketball.” You nod, skipping slightly out of excitement as Soobin maneuvers you both around other people, holding onto your wrist gently again as he does so, not wanting to lose you in the process.
“We’ll see about that,” The corners of Soobin’s lips tilt up, “I was the captain of the basketball team last season.”
“You were also one of the best baseball players last season, but look what happened there,” You tease, reffering to him barely hitting the ball.
Soobin presses a hand to his chest to feign offense as you two finally step onto the joined court surrounded by slightly padded high walls and beams, and it makes you laugh. After a moment, you look around at your surroundings. Dozens of basketballs occupy each rack set up near the entrance, all in different colors, and the baskets are high on their beams on each side of the court. You aren’t that confident in your sport abilities, but you hope you are actually decent when it comes to this. You can only imagine how cocky Soobin will be if he wins. The thought itself makes you want to laugh again.
“So should we have a fair game, or just do free throws?” Soobin questions softly, already grabbing a bright green ball from the rack.
“You realize you’re like six fucking feet tall, right?” You ask Soobin incredulously. He snorts and then covers his mouth at your small outburst.
You laugh and continue, “We aren’t playing against each other. Let’s just see who gets to three points first and then go eat something?”
Your suggestion is met with a competitive Soobin speaking up suddenly.
“Okay, loser buys dinner.”
“This is a date, Soobin”
Soobin pouts at your words, and you have to hold back from smiling too wide.
“I mean if you want me to pay for dinner,” You backtrack, watching as Soobin retracts the idea immediately. 
“Okay, nevermind, loser has to do rockclimbing and climb to the very top.”
You think about this for a moment before agreeing. 
“Fine, loser rock climbs.”
Soobin is happy with this as he starts dribbling the ball excitedly, standing in place as he warms up a bit. You follow suit.
“How long have you played basketball for?” You ask him, not only wanting to know what you’re up against but also being curious about Soobin in general. The small talk up until now has been fairly basic, and you were ready to be a bit bold and ask Soobin some questions that have been on your mind.
“Around ten years.” He answers honestly, lifting the ball to spin it on one finger.
“Jesus, I played for one.” You say back, trying to do the same but failing miserably. Soobin blushes as he watches you scramble to grab the ball again, dimple showing.
“I’ll go easy on you, then.” He says. The words register deep in your stomach and you scoff at him, trying to appear normal. Soobin moves back to finally start the game, gesturing to the basket with his free hand.
“You can go first.” He says. You nod and bend your knees a bit, rolling your shoulders slightly to loosen up before raising the ball, preparing to shoot.
Soobin’s hand flashes in front of your view, acting like he is going to stop the ball before it even leaves your hands
“No cheating!” You laugh at him, moving farther away. 
Soobin laughs loudly and it echoes off the gym walls, making you shake your head. You take a deep breath and sush him, going again.
The ball soars through the air and slams noisily against the backboard after you throw it with all the strength you can muster, but instead of going through the hoop it knocks off the rim and meets the court again, bouncing towards you. You grab it easily as a groan leaves your lips.
“I’m scared of heights.” You say to Soobin, hoping this gives him the idea to go easy on you. He shakes his head and hides the permanent grin that has been on his lips all night.
“Better get over that fear real soon, sweetheart.” Soobin throws the ball towards the basket, and it falls in easily after he does so. Soobin yells out what sounds like a mix of ‘woah’ and ‘yeah’, and raises his arms in triumph, almost as if he didn’t even expect himself to make it, before you’re protesting and moving to shove his arms down jokingly.
“That’s not even fair!” You’re laughing, shoving him with your shoulder as he pokes his finger against your ribcage. Soobin runs forward to grab his ball after it bounces closer, jogging over to be by your side again once he grabs it.
“This is a fair game.” Soobin chuckles before quieting himself down again.
You’re focusing on aiming when Soobin speaks up again.
“So can I ask you a question?” His voice is slightly more serious, and you shoot before answering, actually making a basket. You cheer loudly for yourself and run to get the ball, beaming at Soobin before you reply, “Yeah, what is it?”
“How come you’ve never talked to me before, except for that night in the library?” He asks carefully, curiosity lacing his words. 
You ponder this as Soobin shoots, the ball bouncing off the backboard and across the hoop, not going in. He sweeps it into his hand as it bounces back easily, starting to dribble it again. You step back up to shoot, deciding to just be honest with him.
“Well, I obviously had seen you around and wanted to talk to you, but the situation never really called for it.”
“Until your friend left us alone together?” He asks with a knowing smile.
“Until my friend left us alone together.” You agree without meaning to, shaking your head and throwing the ball to the basket again. It bounces against the rim and miraculously goes in, earning an excited yell from you. When you look back at Soobin he’s already looking at you.
“What about you?” You ask him, “How come you never talked to me?”
Soobin blinks at you, tilting his head gently. 
“I didn’t think you’d like someone like me.” He answers without hesitation before blindly throwing his shot, the ball going nowhere near the basket as it bounces off in the distance, loud against the wooden gym floor.
You open your mouth to speak as your brows furrow in confusion, but no words come out.
Soobin just gives you a soft smile, eyes never leaving yours.
“Looks like you win.”
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Your leg bounces up and down anxiously as you sit at a small table in the food court, phone in hands as you await Yeonjun’s reply to the text you previously sent.
You know Soobin will be back with the food the he promised any minute now, and you took the chance to text Yeonjun as soon as he left, your nerves getting the better of you as soon as you had been left alone.
CALL ME ASAP. 911. 
You’ll admit that your text is fairly on the dramatic side, but this was an emegency. You needed your best friend’s advice.
You jump in your seat slightly as soon as your phone vibrates and a selfie you took with Yeonjun appears on your screen, signifying his call. You slide your thumb over the answer button and press it to your ear quickly.
“Who’s ass do I have to kick?” Yeonjun says before even saying hello, calming your nerves immediately. 
“No, dude, it’s nothing like that.” You speak down the speaker, looking around cautiously for Soobin. Yeonjun listens as you go on after a moment. 
“We had a moment.” You explain, brushing some hair behind your ear with your finger slightly, “Like, a moment moment.”
“Well yeah,” Yeonjun says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “You two have insane chemistry. I’d be worried if you didn’t have a moment.”
You roll your eyes, “Junie, I’m serious.”
“So am I!” He goes on, “You two are soulmates after all, what more can I say?”
You groan and cover your face with your hands, “I just feel like I’m fucking it all up, especially because we almost kissed-”
“Woah, back the fuck up?” Yeonjun stops you, “You two almost kissed? Like, actually almost kissed?”
“What do you think a moment is, dumbass?” You ask him.
“Like a holding hands moment or a cute flirty moment, I didn’t think he would try fucking making out with you on date number one!”
“It wasn’t like he meant to- oh my god I can’t explain this right now. Problem is, what if I ruin it all?”
“You won’t. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
This shuts you up.
“In the library he couldn’t stop staring at you. And on campus when you think he isn’t looking at you because you’re too busy hiding? Yeah, he is.”
“So you didn’t think to tell me this, oh I don’t know, before I was a complete blubbering idiot in front of him?”
“It wouldn’t have made a difference, if anything it would have made you even worse in front of him.” You can hear your friend cackling.
Soobin rounds the corner a few feet away, food in hands, and your heart suddenly leaps up in your throat.
“Oh fuck, I gotta go, he’s coming back.”
“Wait, Y/N,-”
“Bye!” You snap, ending the call and shoving your phone back into your pocket, trying to look natural as Soobin finally reaches the table you’re at.
“So,” He says instead of a greeting, “They had these really cool drinks with food in these small trays in the lid? I’ve never seen it before and thought you’d like it. Anyway, I got us some. I think they’re chicken nuggets.” You make an impressed face as Soobin sets your meal in front of you, noticing that he got you one of each sauce since he didn’t know your favorite yet. You hold back a full blown smile as he settles into the seat across from you.
“Very cool, thank you.” You say, giving him a grateful smile. He smiles back and tears open his own sauce packet, starting to eat. You do the same.
“Is this the part of our date where we ask our deep questions?” Soobin asks around a mouthful of chicken, cheeks full. You take a sip of your drink before raising an eyebrow.
“I don’t know, is it?” Soobin scrunches his nose up at your reply before giggling, and you swear it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.
“I think it’s gonna happen eventually. It may as well be now, since we have food here to comfort us if we make complete idiots out of ourselves.”
“You’re pretty confident in your idiocy.” You joke before taking a bite of your food, “But how do you know I’m the same?”
“You blush at a lot of the things I say.” Soobin answers, watching as your cheeks go red right after, “I know I’m able to make you nervous. And you’re like me, so when you get nervous you start rambling things out.”
You roll your eyes as if he’s wrong, but you know he’s spot on. 
“Yeah well your lisp gets worse when you’re nervous.” You say back, trying to one up him. His eyes widen in surprise at you.
“So does yours.”
“Shut up.” You laugh, “I barely have one anymore.”
“You have one, and it’s adorable.” He answers before dipping his head down to take another bite of his food, hiding from you. You want to compliment his back, but instead decide to change the subject.
“Okay okay, let’s get into these deep questions you had in mind. You start.”
“It was my idea.” Soobin pouts, making you whine playfully at him. You laugh and then speak again.
“Fine, I’ll start. Ummm...” You take second to think before a question pops into your head, “What’s your major and why?” 
Soobin perks up, “Not that deep but getting there. Was English but is now Communications. What’s yours?”
You were right about your assumption back in his dorm room and smile at his answer.
“Communications. Why’d you change from English?” You shoot back.
“Copycat,” He teases even though you had the major before him, “And I loved it, I just wanted a different type of job after awhile. I felt like English kind of restricted me to just one type of writing job, and I wanted to have a more creative career options in the future.”
You nod at his answer, agreeing completely. It seems you two were more alike than you thought.
“Okay your turn,” He says before taking another drink, awaiting your question. You make a face at him, “Uhhh no I already asked you.”
He shakes his head, “And I asked you your major.”
You glare, “You can’t bounce off my question and act like it’s yours too. Be creative, Soobin! Use those critical thinking skills of yours. Come on, wow me.” You’re teasing him, and he knows it. He’s shaking his head and chuckling as he thinks.
“Okay, fine. Tell me about one of your passions.”
You think about this for a second, eyes looking down at the table in thought before you answer, “Writing, probably. Reading doesn’t really count as a passion - it’s more of a hobby.”
Soobin looks pleased with your answer, nodding gently as you speak up again.
“Yours?”
“Nope, no bouncing off my question.” He says back smugly. You cover your face and laugh loudly, not even realizing your mistake.
“God, okay, tell me one of your hobbies.”
Soobin takes a drink and thinks about it for a few seconds.
“Maybe academics? I don’t know... I just... I like school,” He explains as he talks to you, “I just kind of do good because I’m a perfectionist. I have no choice there.” 
You nod, urgining him to continue. He adds to this quickly.
“My passion is dancing, I think.” He says this quietly, almost like he’s shy about it. You’re surprised at this.
“Dancing?” You ask, unsure if you actually heard him right.
He nods silently, a deep crimson powdering over his cheeks as he does. You’re surprised, but somehow, it totally makes sense. 
Soobin, although a jock, could be very unpredictable at times - and this was definitely one of those times. Dancing, you think. It’s impressive. 
“You didn’t strike me as a dancer.” You say honestly, “Considering you do sports most of the time.”
Soobin nods, “I’m not the only guy on the football team who does dance, which is really great and, like, super progressive, but I’m the only one who does it as a hobby and not seriously. I don’t know if I could do it seriously, or even professionally.”
The only other dancer on the team you know is Mark, but you don’t say anything. You keep on listening as he speaks, fully interested.
“I dance with my friend Beomgyu who’s, like, killer at it. We use the practice studio late at night when our classes are all done. He’s a dance major so he gets to practice whenever he wants which is really convenient for us.” 
You nod, “So how long have you been dancing?”
“Not long,” He answers honestly, “Maybe just over a year now. I don’t know, I’ve wanted to start for awhile but never did until just this year when I got the chance.”
“I think that’s really cool.” You smile at him finally, watching as his face lights up.
“Thank you, I try.”
You both talk for a little while longer, sharing dreams and hopes, and things you never thought you’d even tell eachother before finally finish your food and standing to throw away your trash. You can’t help but yawn a bit once you’re finally done, tiredness finally hitting you once you realize it’s well past 9 at night.
“Are you tired?” Soobin asks, hand suddenly running up and down your arm soothingly. You lean into him, nodding a bit, “It is getting late, but I still want to watch you do rock climbing.”
Soobin laughs, “I think it’s probably closed by now, but for one of our next dates we can come back and you can watch me break my leg while rock climbing.”
You ignore the way hope crawls up your body, knowing that Soobin wants a next time. You blush and nod softly, letting Soobin see that you’re fine with it before he leads you both to the exit, finally taking you back home.
The sky is clear as you both walk the short distance from Benny’s back to campus, and somehow, Soobin’s hand has entangled itself in yours as you two walk, gently rubbing circles on the outside of your palm as you two make small conversation. It feels so right - all of it. Your heart beats steadily in your chest as you walk through the cool night air with Soobin.
“-And that’s why I chose to move so far for college, I guess.” You finish what you were previously explaining, glancing over at a nodding Soobin.
“I think it’s brave that you moved so far away to achieve your goals. It’s admirable, really.” 
You laugh gently at this, appreciating his words.
“I feel like-” Soobin hesitates, “Well... I don’t know, I feel comfortable like this.” He speaks up, looking at you as you two walk. A slight breeze blows, sending your hair in front of your face gently.
Soobin doesn’t hesitate to reach up and brush the few strands behind your ear, lips tugging up at the corners after.
“Me too.” You agree softly, finally spotting your dorms a few yards away, “I’ll be honest, I was really nervous for tonight.”
Soobin laughs, almost not believing you.
“So was I, but you shouldn’t have been, it’s just me.”
“I know,” You nod as the two of you reach the dorm’s entrance, “I just couldn’t help it, I guess.”
Soobin nods a final time, showing he understands before stopping in front of you. Even though the two of you are done walking, his hand still holds yours lightly, causing goosebumps to spread over your skin. You try to shake the feeling but can’t.
“So next time I’ll kick your butt at baseball.” Soobin jokes, eyes crinkling up cutely as you laugh. 
“Okay, we’ll see about that.” You hide your face behind one hand, trying to cover up as you laugh at him. You don’t notice Soobin moving until your other hand is being pulled down away from your face, and is entwined in his.
“You’re pretty when you laugh.” Soobin says softly, sending butterflies loose in your stomach.
“I-,” He corrects himself, “I mean you’re pretty all the time, not just when you laugh.”
You giggle, “You’re pretty too.”
Soobin’s cheeks redden, like he’s never been praised for his looks before, and then his grin drops a bit.
His eyes are back to flashing down your face, to your lips, and you feel the tension start to rise again; the same feelings from earlier hitting you in what can only be described as a whirlwind of emotion.
You tilt your head just slightly, watching him. You don’t know what he’ll do next - or if he’ll even do anything - but part of you hope he does.
“I...” You start but your word hangs in the air as soon as Soobin steps closer, one hand loosening from yours to move up and cradle your face gently. His fingers are soft on your skin as you gaze into his soft eyes, breathing erratic. 
“Is this... is this okay?” Soobin whispers, words almost lost in the nighttime breeze as he dips his head down, moving that much closer to you. His lips are inches from yours now, and your senses are heightened.
You just manage to nod before Soobin does the same, his other hand which is holding yours starting to shake. You glance down to make sure it’s not just you shaking, but your eyes flash back up when you realize it’s not.
You make it a rule to not kiss guys on the first date - but for the first time ever, you think it would be okay to break that rule. 
Soobin’s breath is gentle on your skin as he lets out a soft sigh, voice coming out a few octaves deeper when he speaks again.
“Can I- would it be okay if I did something I should have done earlier?”
You’re nodding before you realize you are, and it’s like the whole world around you stops as Soobin nods in affirmation before slowly leaning in.
You feel the way your breath catches in your throat as soon as Soobin’s mouth slots against yours, and his soft lips press lightly against slightly parted ones. The kiss is gentle, and you two hardly move the whole time, scared that if one person does, the spell will be broken and real life will come crashing down around the two of you. 
You feel yourself sigh when he momentarily pulls away, but his hand pulls you closer afterwards, surprising you by looping around your waist and bringing you firmly against him.
This kiss is better than the first.
Soobin’s hand is steady against your hip, and his thumb strokes your jaw lightly as he kisses you, teeth grazing your bottom lip as it deepens, evoking a deep sigh from you. You want to be closer to him - ironically, since you’re already as close as you can get - and you know he feels the same. His chest is rising and falling when you two finally detach, and his cheeks are pink. Soobin’s hands are still shaking.
You laugh lightly, unable to do anything else. Soobin does the same, both of you buzzing with nerves.
“I... okay.” He struggles for words, stepping back slightly, giving you space.
“Thank you... for tonight.” You clarify, moving to grab your keys from your jacket pocket. Soobin is already nodding.
“It’s no problem. Thank you for going.” You nod back, smiling again.
“I’ll call you, I promise.” Soobin adds, dimples appearing on both of his cheeks. Your heart warms at the sight.
“I’m looking forward to it.” You say, biting your lip as Soobin steps even farther away.
“Okay, I’ll see you, Y/N.” Soobin says sweetly, hands burying in his hoodie pockets before he walks backwards towards the sidewalk again.
“See you, Soobin.” You smile before finally going inside, heart pounding.
You close the door behind you, and with your heart soaring and one of the brightest smiles ever adorning your face, you make your way to your bedroom, unable to hide the excitement you have for the next time you’ll be able to see him.
Because that’s what Soobin does - you suddenly realize.
He gets under people’s skin, and he brings light into them. 
Your heart thumps loudly in your chest as you finally enter your room, closing the door behind you.
Soobin had gotten in just a little bit tonight, and had started to let some of the light into you. And after everything that had happened -  you were letting him.
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crapitskizaru · 5 years ago
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Anxious!Sub!Eustass Kid x Dom!Fem!Reader
HOO BOY YOU WANT SUB ANGSTY KID?? HAVE I GOT A PROMPT FOR YOU. How about kid is feeling insecure/has a shit day and just wants his fem so to dom him/make him feel better, so like a comfort smut?
Warning: well - upsetting themes, miserable kiddo, soft filth (: + it kinda took a turn idk
Word Count: 1,9k
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When you’re sailing on the open ocean, no day is the same. There’s always something to do - something to check, something to repair. And even though the captain looked bored, standing on the quarterdeck and bouncing his leg up and down while staring off at the horizon, boredom was the last thing on his mind.
She observed as Kid briskly marched below the deck, finally giving up. He rarely let anything overwhelm him, but this time stress seemed to get the better of his rationality. 
“I’ll go,” Killer said, muscular arms crossed on his chest. He must have seen his captain’s uneasy expression as well. 
“No, I will,” she replied. “I know exactly how to cheer him up.” 
She found him in his cabin, hunched over the maps sprawled carelessly on the table. He couldn’t have been paying them much attention - when she came closer, he seemed spaced out. 
“Hey,” she muttered, rubbing his shoulder. “How are you feeling?” 
“Great.” 
He could feel the tension in his body. But what worried him even more was the almost tangible fear clouding his mind, messing up the rational thoughts, reversing his judgement. 
How was he supposed to be a captain? How can he lead his crew to another battle if he’s already losing the one he’s fighting with his own self? 
“Wanna take a nap together?” She wanted to rest her chin on his shoulder but he kept fidgeting, so she settled for loosely hugging his arm. He needed contact, touch, affection. 
His grumpy response was barely audible. Thankfully, he didn’t oppose when she started dragging him towards the bed. Before she managed to as much as feel the texture of the sheets, Kid was already buried in the blankets. For a while, the only sounds in the cabin were his steady breaths. 
He needed to rest, to escape from the anxious thoughts. But there was one thing he needed even more than that. 
“Kid,” she said, keeping her voice low and gentle. “I can help. You know that.” 
His careless grumble got muffled by a pillow. Despite the wrinkles on his forehead, his sleepy expression oozed with calmness - she wished it wouldn’t go away the moment he decides to leave the bed. 
“Wake me up when you find One Piece,” he mumbled. “And I get to be the Pirate King. And I also get to take the treasure.” 
She started stroking his hair, furrowing her eyebrows upon hearing the demands. “What’s in it for me then?” 
“This world is so fucked up. Does everything need to be a good deal for you? Can’t you just help me for free?” 
His heart felt a little bit lighter when he heard her laugh. And when she tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, he was ready to forget about the whole world and focus on her. 
“Nothing comes for free,” she said with a smile. Then she leaned in and kissed him. “Maybe besides this.” 
Just when he felt her wanting to pull back, he bit down on her lip and deepened the kiss.
“You know I’m a sucker for free shit.”
She laughed again, brushing her lips against his. The warmth radiating off of him already seeped through her clothing. Somehow, it felt familiar, as if she was coming home. 
He didn’t give her time to savour the moment. His arm threw one of the blankets around her body and tugged her closer. She could feel how pure excitement was boiling inside him when she looped her arms around his neck. He was so close, so warm and so familiar. He must have been her home. 
“Wait,” she managed to mumble in between the kisses, just when he was getting ready to get on top of her. “I came here to help you.” 
“You are helping me.” His hand maneuvered around the blankets and landed on her butt, squeezing it shamelessly. “See? That’s my kind of therapy.” 
A part of her didn’t want him to stop - his lips kept caressing her neck, hands rubbing her body in all of the right places, it felt so good. But there was something more important than her pleasure. 
“I thought you’re a good liar.” 
This time he was the one confused, pulling away from her. “I’m not lying. I really wanna fuck.” 
She cupped his face and studied it with a worried look. He was obnoxious, yes, rowdy and wild and just so brave. But he was also young, far too young to carry such weight on his shoulders. 
“Tell me what’s bothering you then,” she whispered, slowly climbing to straddle his lap. “I want to hear everything.” 
“And if I do? Are we going to fuck?” 
“No, you asshole. I will make love to you. You deserve it.” 
He rolled his eyes and moved his hands to rest on her hips. “Same deal.”
Her eyebrow raised expectantly. When he became silent for a few moments, a writhing coldness started to spread inside her stomach. What if she was wrong? What if she’s just embarrassing herself, trying to find a hidden meaning behind his recent, seemingly nervous habits? 
And then another thought came, way worse than all the others. 
What if he just wanted sex? What if that was the only thing he cared about?
Meanwhile, another sort of anxious questions started appearing in Kid’s mind. Being her captain, he shouldn’t reveal his insecurities, shouldn’t let his weaknesses show. No one cared about that anyway. 
And yet, she kept on asking. 
“We’re in the New World,” she started, breaking the silence. “It’s dangerous. Are you scared you’re not strong enough?” 
He snorted with contempt. “That’s the only thing I’m not worried about. I’ll crush anyone who stands in my path.” 
At that moment, speaking with a firm, low voice, he seemed fearless. Being alone with such man in the cabin, having him underneath her sent a rush of excitement down her spine. 
She leaned in for a kiss. The sudden friction caused her to sway her hips, almost unconsciously, against his groin and the strike of pleasure immediately pushed her to speed up the movements. 
He didn’t even try to restrain the loud, shameless groan. 
“Oh? Does someone want to be pleasured?” she cooed, caressing his cheek. Her thighs tightened their grip around him and when she started rubbing against him again, the friction increased. 
He bit down on his lip and nodded; the simple action only reassuring her that he was already in the mood - willing to let go of his constant obligation to be the one giving out orders.
The sight of her on top, being in control, her wary gaze and confident manner put him at ease; it felt as if all the responsibility shifted, even for a short moment, to someone else. 
“You deserve a good captain,” he said, eyes focused on her face. “All of you. Not a coward.” 
“Are you calling yourself a coward?” 
Instead of waiting for his response, she indulged in claiming his lips harshly, feverishly. Violently. One thing she was sure of, learned from the time she spent on this ship, was the fact that Kid had no mercy for cowards. They were the ones receiving the worst kinds of torture when captured by the crew, they were the ones sure to be murdered first - they were mocked, insulted and despised by him. Could he really think the same of himself?
He scowled. “I’m not running away from anything.” 
“But you are scared.” 
She studied his pained expression, the way he averted his gaze and pushed his hips upwards against her, impatiently, as if wanting to shift his attention to something else. 
She couldn’t blame him for that. His hardness had been becoming more and more obvious in the past few minutes, rubbing against her inner thigh - she wanted nothing more than to ride him until she starts crying out to the heavens. 
“Follow my lead,” she whispered, biting his ear. Her legs began trembling from nerves and anticipation when she set the pace of her movements, humping directly against his groin each time. 
Every single thought suddenly evaporated from her mind, apart from the one that kept repeating over and over again - it feels so good. She gripped the sheets - the slicky sound their lips made while connecting spurred her on; she wished the pleasure and this moment could last forever. 
His hips started to reach upwards to meet her and he soon found the right rhythm, his fingers tightening on her waist. 
“Mmh, what a good boy you are,” she purred, holding back a moan. “It feels good, right?” 
“Fuck, yes.” It came out as almost a gasp as he fell silent once again, producing only the slightest pants and breaths.
The thin material of his pants must have been a literal gift from heaven; she could feel how hard he was and how the warmth of his cock spread along her abdomen and thighs as she swayed on top of him in fluid motions. 
“I want you to come for me.” She forced her voice to be strict and steady. “You’re such a good boy, I know you can do it.” 
His hands fell to deliver a harsh squeeze to her butt, only to drop even lower and embrace her thighs; he felt her muscles clench and strain with each of the movements. 
He growled a string of curses under his breath, already getting close to the edge. And when her fingers gripped on his hair, tugging harshly, a sudden feeling of safety took over his heart. 
Yes, it felt safe. With her in charge, he was ready to comply for as long as he could last - which, apparently, wasn’t going to be much longer. 
“Fuck, baby-” His quiet gasp was barely audible, as if he was afraid of how vulnerable she made him. “Yes, keep doing it.” 
“Cum for me,” she ordered, picking up the pace even more and holding back her own sounds of pleasure with the last bits of self-restraint. “Be a good boy and cum right now.” 
And he did, almost in sync with her words; his loud groans ringing around the room as the warm cum stained his pants and his hips snapped forward, pushing his cock in between her legs even more. 
She couldn’t help but smile with pride when his orgasm finally subsided and he fell back against the mattress, the look of satisfaction on his face. 
“You’re not alone in this.” Her finger traced his jawbone as she looked him in the eyes, trying to ignore the wetness in between her legs. “It’s normal to be scared. But you’re no coward. You’re the bravest, the most courageous fool in the world.” 
Before she managed to finish the sentence, he flipped her on her back, his face in her neck. 
“What is this, a shitty pep talk? I didn’t sign up for-” 
“Shut up and listen,” she scowled, wrapping her legs around his waist. “You can’t lie to me. Being a captain, especially of such crew, requires a lot of responsibility. I want you to know you’re doing really well.” 
“Mmhm.” He pushed her harder against the bed, one arm looping around her waist. But, finally, he gave up on marking her neck and met her gaze. “Of course I’m doing well. And I fucking swear to anything that is out there, one day I will make it to the top.”
She saw the rebellious spark in his eyes and the way he smiled while thinking about the future - it became obvious that, no matter how many demons come at him, whether from the outside or his own inside, his mutinous nature won’t let him surrender to them.
She looked again, this time at the scar on the left side of his face and the way it ran down across his chest; her fingers touched the cold metal of his prosthetic arm. 
He was just so young. 
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mattzerella-sticks · 5 years ago
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The Silver Lining, Destiel Christmas/Hospital fic
Castiel expected to have a regular Christmas, the same he's had for all his life. Spent with family, exchanging presents and good cheer. Basking in the warmth of unconditional love. However, a twist of fate and a prank gone wrong leads him to experiencing a few new firsts.
His first trip to a hospital.
His first Christmas celebrated in a different location.
His first meeting with a certain man, suffering from a horrible case of food poisoning.
Of the three, he hopes the third is the first of many, many more. Is their encounter as rare as a Christmas miracle, or is it the gift that keeps on giving?
Cold. Wind races past his collar and sends shivers down his spine. “Stupid Gabriel,” he growls, shuffling the ladder until it aligns securely against his house. Castiel huffs a foggy breath over his trembling hands, rubbing them together for warmth. “How he can see tangled lights in this weather…”
Snow buffets him on his way up, Castiel pausing at times so he won’t fall off. Halfway up the ladder, Castiel’s common sense tugs at his nerves. Warns him from moving any further in fear of endangering himself. But then Gabriel pops in and strangles the thought, gratingly reminding him that decorations need to be perfect so close to Christmas. “It’ll only take me a second anyway,” he says, climbing another rung, “In and out.”
He reaches the roof, gripping the edges for balance. Squinting, Castiel scans the decorations amassed for the error Gabriel saw. Neck straining from the effort. Finding no fault in the perimeter Castiel checks the larger display. Leans further onto the roof and blindly gropes for Santa and his sleigh of reindeer. His hand slides around a hoof and Castiel squeezes it, smiling.
Suddenly a window rushes open, slamming. Castiel flinches, the ladder teetering underneath. “What? No, no -”
“Merry Christmas Cassie!”
“ No !”
Castiel falls, plastic and metal scraping across his roof and drowning out his screams. Before he hits the ground, Castiel sees Rudolph flying into a nosedive. Hurdling closer until the reindeer is all he sees. He blinks, and the world fades.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Tentatively, Castiel opens his eyes. Fights against the ten pound weights stretched across his face to re-enter consciousness. He groans, first from the overly bright lights shining above him and next because of a dull ache biting into his side. Castiel tries to rub his eyes, except he can barely find the strength to do so.
“Well… look who finally decided to join the party,” a voice drawls from the left, “It’s about time, really.” It takes too much effort for Castiel to turn his head so few inches. He scrapes together the energy and, in the process, answers important questions knocking around his head.
Like where was he? A hospital, no doubt, given the sterile white walls and medical equipment lying around. And the hanging television playing holiday reruns of, ironically, Doctor Sexy. Unfortunately his smolder doesn’t evoke any of the warmth and comfort it usually does. Pain takes prominence, especially when he moves. Castiel cannot glimpse the damage, but the amount radiating from his right worries him. What he can view are tubes criss-crossing around him and the sickly man hunched over the bed to his left: the owner of the voice. In need of a distraction, he focuses on him.
He watches Castiel with curiosity and tired amusement etched into his features. Pallored skin glistening with sweat, each freckle prominently on display like stars above a city suffering a blackout. The man wears a similar dressing gown to Castiel’s, accessorized with a bucket clutched tightly in his lap. “Hey,” he says, lips trembling, “you feeling okay?”
“I feel like shit.” Castiel’s gravelly voice sounds more so from disuse, croaking the reply. The other man chuckles from nearby, agreeing with his amateur diagnosis. Laughter becomes hacking, and his face disappears into the bucket for a moment. When the echoing coughs stop, the other man emerges. Castiel continues, “How long…?”
“Not sure,”  he shrugs, “I was rolled in earlier because they had nowhere else to place me…”
“Place…?”
“There’s not really a wing for food poisoning victims,” the other man explains, “they had to stick me where they could.”
Castiel skews his head to the side, stuffing it further into the pillow. “Food poisoning? You’re in the hospital… for that?”
He glares at him, wrapping his arms tighter around the bucket. IV scooting closer from being tugged. “Listen, pal, I didn’t think I had to be here either. But apparently I’ve got the white blood cell count of a newborn so… here I am.” His head falls back into the bucket. “Be lucky you missed the massive crap volcano that erupted out of my colon.”
“I doubt it was because of luck…”
“True,” his roommate sighs, rising from the bucket once more, “being under for most of it was more drugs than luck. Kind of grateful, though, because then you didn’t hear me yell, grunt, and curse throughout it all… Until…” He blanches, fingers dipping past the rim, “until I just told you.”
Castiel arches a brow, smirking. “Why did you?”
“Because I had no one to talk to this whole time and I hate silence,” he tells him, “Been narrating the past few lonely hours.”
“You’re… not tired?”
“Too nauseous to sleep, really.”
“Even after all that shitting?”
The man rolls his eyes, feet kicking freely underneath him. “It was some pretty rotten eggnog,” he says, “and Sammy promised that vegan crap was all kosher… didn’t see him or Eileen drinking any.”
A little bit of energy jumps into Castiel as he digests the tidbit of information. “Vegan eggnog put you in here?”
“Vegan eggnog and a bad case of the flu,” he defends, “I’m usually made of stronger stuff.”
“So am I,” Castiel says, “Hardly ever sick… once my entire family got bogged down by a nasty virus and I was the only one who managed to remain healthy. Was their nurse for an entire month… schlepping from one house to the next making sure they were feeling better.”
“Then I guess they can return the favor,” his roommate offers, “especially since what happened to you trumps any cold.”
Castiel’s good mood dips low, and his body sags with the reminder of their situation. “Right,” he says, “Uh… exactly what happened to me?”
The man pauses, grin slipping into a tiny frown. “You mean you don’t know? Or… remember?”
“Remember what?”
“Hell I doubt I’d ever be able to forget if that happened to me…”
“What are you talking -” Castiel chokes, dam bursting and the memories flooding over him. He shivers immediately, hospital gone and replaced with the blustery winds from outside his house. Snow falling in clumps from above, doing their best to bury him. Already he thought a blanket of white crushed his chest.
Then Hannah’s face pops into view. Scared, speaking in a way that Castiel cannot fully understand. She’s on the phone, gibberish grating to his ears. So he lolls his head to the side and watches his other sister, Anna, shove at Gabriel with a monstrous expression on her face. The one she wore when it meant their brother dug a hole so deep he couldn’t climb out of it. He remembers smiling, a few of the words cutting through the ringing in his ears to reach his brain. ‘Idiot’, ‘thinking’, ‘killed’, and ‘prank’ are all he heard.
Nearby the burgeoning fight, his friend Kelly tries her best to talk to Jack. Castiel’s nephew won’t tear his eyes away from him. Lazily he shooed him off, trying his best to help. That only brought more focus onto him.
“No, Castiel,” Hannah said, clear for the first time. She wrangled his arms to the ground with haggard breaths. “Keep them lowered to stem the blood flow.”
“Blood flow?” he asked, “What do you mean, blood -”
Blood. So much of it, trickling from where an antler punctured his side.What he thought was snow revealed itself as the broken figure of the reindeer that fell from Santa’s sleigh alongside him.
Face intact, torn from the body at the neck, its black, plastic eyes trapped him. Made it impossible to look away. Even when the paramedics finally arrived and began asking him questions, he answered in a daze. When they removed the decoration, Castiel followed the head with his own until it disappeared from sight.
The next sequence of events plays in pieces. Being patched and carried into the ambulance, Hannah choosing to go with him. Her answering questions for him. Any allergies? Only to shellfish. Medical history? Until now, spotless. The calm, automatic doors at the hospital that betray the urgency of any situation. Doctors and nurses in festive gear descending and doing their best. A prick in his arm and the fuzzying of his senses.
Waking up in a strange room, with a stranger affected by serious food poisoning who has gotten up and leans way too close.
“...come on man, I’m so sorry,” he says, “I thought you knew. I didn’t know - when I asked she said you should be fine. They fixed you up really good, able to save the kidney -”
“My kidney?” Castiel gasps, “It… it hit my kidney?”
“Punctured it in three different parts,” the man tells him, “all clean entries, plastic intact, so no serious problems.”
His mind recovers from the panic, gripping onto the facts presented like a crutch. Thankful for the assurance, but also curious. “How do you know this?”
His roommate’s face shifts from pale to deliriously red, and he shuffles a few steps back. “I… I kinda asked the nurse when she came to check on me?” he winces, “you were still out cold and… there’s nothing really on TV except Christmas specials. If you ask me the last thing I want to be reminded of is Christmas while I’m stuck here…”
Dosed again with a bruising reminder, Castiel finds his injuries doubling and heart plummeting. “Stuck in the hospital on Christmas… it is Christmas, right?”
“Well…” the other man shrugs, “almost. It’s Christmas Eve, but in a few hours…”
“So I’ve been out for an entire day?”
“Seems like it. At least you’re up, from how the nurse put it you were going to be under for awhile - at least until after the holidays.”
Castiel scoffs, “A Christmas miracle…”
“Hey, could be worse.”
“How?”
“Imagine waking up alone,” the man says, squeezing his shoulder, “without this handsome face to greet you.” He winks, charm sparking like a flickering lighter. One that fails easily since a disturbing gurgle cuts through and makes his flirty expression shift into disease. Flies away from Castiel towards the bucket on his bed and bends over it, exposing the festive boxers hidden under his gown. While aware of what his roommate does, it can’t dull the warmth caused from his wink nor the sight of his shapely snowflake-covered ass.
Castiel squeezes the blanket, averting his gaze when the measured pace of the heart monitor picks up slightly. Careful not to disturb the tube he’s sure is lodged to help him pee. Measures his breaths and thinks of horrid things to stem the blood and direct it elsewhere.
Finished, the other man flips and wipes at his mouth. “Here I thought there was nothing left in me,” he gasps, “Sorry you had to see me like that.”
He shrugs, cheeks burning. “You needn’t apologize, you couldn’t help it.”
“Yeah… but I mean, I at least know the names of the guys who I ralph in front of.”
“You mean you didn’t ask for my name when you did my medical history?” His roommate stumbles slightly, tripping over his words in a rush to defend himself. Castiel savors the brief awkwardness before paving over it. “Castiel. My name’s Castiel.”
“Castiel?” The man’s eyes gloss over while processing the name, a look Castiel was oft familiar with.
“It’s… not the most common of names,” he grins wryly, “My father named me - and all my siblings - after characters from his favorite book.”
“What books was that?”
“The Bible.”
Nodding, his roommate drums his fingers against the bucket. A different sound since it’s slightly full. “I mean, it is a good book. The good book.”
"Exactly."
Silence drifts over while they awkwardly bait the other to continue the conversation. Castiel wins, patience one of his virtues. Not the first he waited someone out, and it won't be the last. “So was he one of those religious guys?” he asks, tapping the form of a cross, “Or a… religious guy ?” The balled fists stacked on top of each other, like holding a sign, is easy to interpret.
“Neither,” Castiel tells him, “he got wrapped up in this cult when he was younger, the one Rose McGowan was a part of. When he finally left, he didn’t really give up on the faith. And… well, he already named half my siblings after angels. It’d be stranger if he stopped after Anael -”
“Anael?”
“She found a workaround,” he says, “Anna. Better than my brother Lucifer who chooses to go by his full name. The only one who lucked out was Hannah who got the most normal name of my siblings. Why he couldn’t do the same for me I’ll never know.”
“Hey, Castiel’s a cool name… bet the angel you were named after was a badass,” his roommate smirks, “ I was named after my grandmother, Deanna.”
“So your name’s Deanna?”
“ Dean ,” he purrs, the name curling perfectly under his lips. Teeth flashing in a suggestive manner like its done probably hundreds of times in the past. “Dean Winchester.”
“Well,” Castiel mirrors his expression, “it’s nice to officially meet you, Dean Winchester .”
Dean wiggles his bucket, bowing slightly. “Likewise, Castiel…”
“...Shurley -”
“Shurley. Castiel Shurley, right right right.”
He giggles, enjoying the full body production Dean performs. Attempting a casual facade, crossing one leg over the other while he leans on one hand. The other firing an imaginary bullet from his finger gun. Except he forgets the hand leaning was perched on the bucket, and Dean starts tipping. Vomit sloshes inside the bucket and, after precarious teetering from both parties, both Dean and his bucket remain standing. No mess, but tons of stress.
“Any chance you can pretend that didn’t happen?” Dean asks.
Castiel shakes his head. “Trust me, Dean, on the list of embarrassing things you’ve done tonight this hardly ranks in the top ten.”
“Well shit,” Dean sighs, hopping up onto his bed, “At least it means I can’t make anything worse.”
“The night’s still young…”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Cas.”
They laugh, only stopping when the pain in Castiel’s side nastily barges in on their merriment. Reminds him why he and Dean met in the first place. He hisses, vision blackening for a moment. When it returns, Dean is perched on the edge of his bed with worry. “Dean -”
“Are you okay?”
Castiel tries to reassure Dean he’s fine, but another current of pain shocks him. His knees buck up and the heart monitor beeps too loudly and the injured side feels like a meteor burning up in the atmosphere on its path towards crashing into the Earth. Sweat pours down his forehead and his limbs twitch in aborted movements. Dancing like a marionette, controlled by the intolerable cramping.
Minutes flash by like pages from a comic book. A cool touch brushes against his head, drawing one eye open. Its Dean. He appears calm while speaking to Castiel, but the fear is evident in his shiny eyes and trembling lips. In the throes of his pain it plants a seed of comfort, and he focuses on tending to that while dealing with it all.
Then someone rushes in, sneakers squeaking against the linoleum flooring. She removes Dean from view, taking up space and asking questions Castiel cannot answer. When it’s apparent, she switches tactics and scans his station. Finding what she needs, his savior calls to another person who was waiting by the door.
They dip into the hallway, returning moments later with a full bag of clear liquid. The woman who first ran in takes it from the one who brought it, fiddling above Castiel and out of sight. When she crosses his gaze again the full bag is empty. She shoves it into the hands of the nurse. Barks a terse sentence and orders her out.
Time returns to its normal pacing while Castiel’s body melts into the bed and the pain recedes into nothingness. His mind sharpens into awareness briefly and then dulls considerably with each second.
“Is this okay Mr. Shurley?” she asks, pressing around his wound, “Are you feeling anything at all?”
Castiel giggles, her actions tickling the focal point of his trauma. “Not a thing.”
“Perfect,” she sighs, flicking the full bag hanging from the stand in front of her. “So sorry that you had to experience that. A nurse should’ve been by to swap your morphine drip hours ago.”
“My morphine…?”
“Yes, your drugs,” she tells him, smirking, “what’s making it possible for you and I to have a conversation where you can contribute freely instead of in panted moans and grunts.”
Another round of laughter forces its way from his chest and makes his cheeks stretch awfully far. “I like morphine,” he says, “Can I take it home with me?”
“If only it wasn’t highly addicting,” she sighs, swiping at his nose with her finger, “Unfortunately no, but at least you won’t be leaving us so soon you’ll have to give it up right away.”
“Awesome...”
“If that’s all.” She nods, turning to Dean. “Thank you for paging me, it could’ve been much worse had he been alone.”
Dean sags against his bed, grin as large as Castiel’s. “Makes this food poisoning worth it, Doc Masters.”
“Silver lining to everything,” Masters winks. The doctor waves farewell, paying extra attention to Castiel. “Sweet dreams, Mr. Shurley.”
“Bye bye…” Castiel says, head lolling towards Dean, “What did she mean by that?”
“By what?”
“Sweet dreams?” he slurs, “Does she think I’m going to fall asleep?”
Dean’s expression softens, and he drifts closer to Castiel once more. “Yeah, you will. Morphine’s already pumping strong… shouldn’t be long until you’re back under and I’m… I am alone again .”
“ No ,” Castiel whines, throwing a tantrum. Not a good one since his limbs fly without his input, wiggling like jelly. “I don’t want to go to sleep.” Dean calms him, guiding his wrists to the bed.
“You don’t have a choice in it, Cas,” he says, “but… it’s nice to hear you want to stay with me.”
He agrees with Dean, heating up again in a delightful way. “You’re very nice… even if you throw up a lot and can’t handle vegan eggnog.”
Dean scoffs, “I can handle it, when it’s made well. But it’s not my first choice. Give me meat any day.”
“I love meat.”
“We have that in common, then.”
“Do we?” Castiel asks, skewing his head to the side, “You enjoy intercourse with two penises or more, too?”
He chokes, grip on Castiel’s wrists wilting. Dean gapes at him, color draining from his face for an entirely different reason.
In the seconds between his outburst and Dean’s answer, Castiel mulls over what he said. Clarity shines through his foggy mind and he realizes how personal a question he asked his roommate, a practical stranger. His high fades under the sweltering self-consciousness, Dean’s proximity less intoxicating and more anxiety-inducing.
His heart monitor either beeps too fast or not at all since he can’t tell if the ringing in his ears is from it or borne from the screams he refuses to release.
Thankfully Dean starts talking, and the voice inside silences. “I… I’ve never had the opportunity for more… my experience cuts off after two.”
The fuzziness resurfaces with a vengeance, strengthened by Dean’s answer. Caught off guard, Castiel hums. “Oh, well… it’s fun. But, also difficult.”
“I’ll bet.”
“Are you interested in leveling up your experience?”
“Actually,” Dean’s gaze dips towards Castiel’s lips, trailing up to his eyes slowly. “I’m… I’m more of a two-dick guy. Mine and… I don’t know?”
“You don’t know?” Castiel frowns, “that’s depressing.”
Dean laughs like a sad, twinkling bell. “Yeah, it sucks not knowing which other dick you want your dick to spend the rest of your life rubbing up against.”
Castiel nods, “Even more when you’re the only one without a second dick or a vagina to love you unconditionally. And no matter how successful your life is your family looks at you like an awkward throw pillow. They don’t know what to do with it or where to put it.”
“Exactly how it feels,” Dean says, “I… it’s not easy being lonely. Especially around this time of year.”
“But we’re not lonely,” he tells him, “we have each other.”
“That we do Cas… that we do.”
Potential sparks to life in Dean’s eyes, fascinating Castiel. He stares intently into them, watching the verdant fields in the other man’s gaze burn. No intention in calling the fire department to douse the inferno. Castiel wants to watch it forever.
Every blink becomes heavier, harder to remain open with the weights sliding across his eyes. “I don’t want to go to sleep.”
“You need to,” Dean says, “so you can get better.”
“But won’t you be alone again?”
“Nah,” Dean smirks, “it’s like you said. We have each other.”
“Good.” Castiel yawns, stretching far enough his toes peek past the blanket. “I… I really think I should go to sleep now.”
Dean agrees, peeling himself off of Castiel. He shivers with his absence. Castiel stops fighting against the morphine and allows it to drag him into unconsciousness. Dean’s face the last thing he sees when his eyes shut for good.
--------------------------------------------------------------
When Castiel wakes up again, he’s surrounded. His family sit on an assembled pile of chairs, chatting in festive gear while he stumbles into awareness.
Jack notices first, clapping on his mother’s lap and smiling with missing teeth. “Uncle Cas! Uncle Cas!”
Conversation stalls, and every face in the room turns to him. He smiles weakly, waving his hand off the bed as far as he can. “Hi,” he croaks, “how’s everyone doing?”
Gabriel laughs tiredly, scrubbing at his face. “Shived by Rudolph and he’s still thinking about others. Doesn’t that just jolly your holly -”
“Zip it Gabriel,” Anna whacks his chest, “you more than anyone else don’t get to make jokes about this.”
“Oh come on!” he cries, “The doctor said it was a non-threatening injury!”
“Because we called the paramedics,” she says, “and, by luck , your dumb prank only managed to cost him a kidney.”
“Not even! They said it would heal -”
“Guys!” Hannah interrupts their bickering, “Can you save it for later? Maybe after Castiel tells us how he feels?”
Reminded of his presence, his brother and sister sheepishly offer apologies. Castiel forgives them easily, especially his brother. “While it was stupid, I’m not dead.”
“Glad to hear it -”
“But,” Castiel continues, smirking, “I do expect a lot of attention and care… just because I’m willing to forgive doesn’t mean it’s easy to forget. Or move… or pee, I’m guessing.”
Gabriel huffs, crossing his arms. “Should’ve seen this coming.”
“Oh be glad,” Kelly says, “out of everything that could’ve happened, this is the best you could ask for.”
He relents, accepting his fate for the present. Satisfied, Castiel relaxes in bed while conversation resurges. This time filling him in on what happened while he was stuck in the hospital. From muted celebration on the Eve to a rapid exchange of presents in his house so they could arrive when visiting hours started.
“We might have left a few to open when you came home,” Anna admits, “So you didn’t miss all the fun.”
“Thank you…” Castiel holds his tongue, preferring the others to continue without his input. Finds comfort in how bright and cheerful the room feels with their presence. Reminded of a similar feeling, adjacent to the one overtaking his heart, Castiel looks to the other side of the room.
Only Dean’s bed is neat and empty. Not even the bucket was there.
“Wait,” he says, “where’s Dean?”
“What?” Gabriel asks, following his gaze, “Oh? Is that who that was? Didn’t know you got so chummy with your roommate, Cassie.”
“Where is he?”
“He left,” Anna shrugs, “Doctors came in an hour after we arrived to give him the news he was free to go.”
“And he left with this giant of a man!” his brother says, “it was terrifying, truly, seeing someone that massive.”
“He was really cool, Uncle Cassie!” Jack says, bouncing, “He bought me a candy bar!”
Kelly sighs, trying to contain Jack’s energy. “So nice of him…”
“So that’s it?” Castiel asks, frowning, “he just… left?”
Hannah reaches across and squeezes his hand, mirroring him. “There wasn’t any reason for him to stay longer, Castiel.”
He deflates at his sister’s care, her good intentions like a needle to his ballooning happiness. Castiel sighs, tugging his hand free of her hold and folding it over his stomach. “Yes, I… I guess he didn’t.”
No one dare speak, the adults in the room trying to process how Castiel’s mood shifted. His usual defense, to cover disappointment with a carefully constructed mask, doesn’t rise up inside. Whether from the remaining morphine swimming in his system or overall tiredness, Castiel prefers allowing his feelings to play freely across his face.
Memories from last night are fuzzy, but he remembers the important things. How friendly Dean was, and caring. Comforting him when it wasn’t necessary, when he had his own troubles to deal with. The possibility he represented, created thanks to the unguarded confessions brought about by drugs.
He’s drawn from his memories of Dean’s smile by a knock on the door.
Doctor Masters stands there, a smile on her face and a stuffed bear in her hands. Castiel squints at the gift, a heart in its paws and a Santa cap on its head.
“Why hello there Mr. Shurley,” she says, stepping into the room, “glad to see you’re awake again. And not in pain.”
“Thank you,” he says, “I… Am I going to be in pain again?”
She shrugs, “Not likely. I checked up on you an hour after we switched your drip to make sure it was all okay. Got to talking with your roommate and he said you were doing fine until the pain became too much to bear. So I’ve decided to start weaning you off the good stuff, and giving you enough to not feel much but still be present.”
His face softens. “Exactly what I want.”
“Speaking of presents…” she smirks, fiddling with the bear, “someone asked me to give this to you once you woke up.”
Gabriel immediately teases him, shaking his shoulder. “Cassie, you sly dog. Did someone ‘While You Were Sleeping’ you?”
“I, I don’t -”
“Why don’t I leave this here, and you can process it without me,” Doctor Masters says. She places the bear on his lap, walking towards the exit. “I’m only the messenger. Besides, there’s a lot more people in this hospital besides you.”
He misses her goodbyes, examining the bear. Studies details like the red and white scarf wrapped around its neck and the poof ball at the end of its hat is shaped like a plus sign. The red heart has a message on its surface, ‘Get Better Soon’, and one between it and the bear.
A white envelope, easily lost in the white fur of the bear. Castiel frees it, giving the bear to a waiting Jack. He reads the name on the front and his stomach flutters with butterflies emerging from their cocoon.
CAS
“Well,” Anna urges him, “you gonna read it or what?”
Flipping it around, he sees the envelope is barely held together by a piece of scotch tape. It opens with no trouble, the card slipping out and into his hand.
The cover has a replica of the bear drawn on, holding its heart forward. Words tattooed to the heart in the stuffed animal balloon to the top of the cover, taking up a lot of the tundra scenery.
Castiel passes it, more interested in what’s written inside.
Dear Cas ,
Merry Christmas! I wish I could be there to see you wake up, but I know today is supposed to be spent with family.
Thank God it’s only one day a year.
If you want to meet during any of the other three-hundred, sixty four, here’s my number. I hope you call, because I think I’ve found the second penis I want to spend the rest of my life with .
He closes the card, dragging it to his face to hide the blush and skin-splitting face threatening to add more definition to his chin. His behavior only fans the flames of his family’s intrigue, both Anna and Gabriel leaning too far forward in their seats.
“Well,” Anna starts, “who’s it from?”
Castiel waits for his face to cool, and then says, “It’s from a friend.”
“A friend ,” Gabriel chuckles, rolling his eyes, “Like we’ll believe that.”
“He is a friend!”
“He’s also a Christmas miracle!”
His family laughs, and Castiel finds himself joining. Too filled with joy to find their antics annoying. Instead he jokes alongside them and, when they’ve calmed down, explain the night’s events and his secret Santa. Counting down to when visiting hours end and he can make use of the number inside the card.
Merry Christmas, indeed.
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