#in the days when they still had their bonkers system computers would have to have special software and circuitry to speed up processing

[fishmech]

it was so complicated that 50s and 60s computer systems for use in the UK or for dealing with UK business would need additional equipment like this.

(the "BSI" and "IBM" refer to differing standards for representing the subdivisions of the old pound computationally; being different systems that attempted to reduce the amount of storage needed to deal with those fiddly fractions)

You can imagine how long my sleepless American ass spent pondering the right-hand coin at toddler group, with the only explanation coming to hand that I was in an alternate universe, until a group of elderly British people swooped in with glad cries to explain something about decimalisation

[rubykgrant]

rvb for the hyperfix ask!

📃 what is the plot of your hyperfixation? and is it a movie, game, show, etc? 📌 how did you find your hyperfixation? ✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it? 🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation? 💕tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

First of all, thank you for indulging me in this, I very much appreciate the chance to info-dump with my nonsense, you are a wonderful person~

So... RVB. More than 2 decades ago, some guys figured out how they could play Halo, sort of use one character as the "camera", make the other characters bop their helmets up and down, then dub their voices into it and make that a show. There is the vague background-plot of the actual Halo lore happening, but the ACTUAL plot of RVB? The first few seasons are just 2 groups of guys, standing around, talking, arguing, and trying to kill each other. Red Team has been told to kill the Blues, and Blue Team has been told to kill the Reds. Why? Because. One guy dies, but comes back as a "ghost". This will become a pattern. There is a theme through the series about how some people are unable to let go of grief, and it eventually destroys them, the message of learning how to see enemies as real people, learning to accept flaws in yourself and others so they can become strengths. Over and over again, there are multiple groups of soldiers who have been told "you are the good guys, they are the bad guys, you need to kill them", and sometimes the most difficult thing is to finally accept the truth and try to live with yourself. There are highly advanced and unique AI, once all part of one system together, forced into being singular Fragments, tortured into forgetting what they were, but unable to stop missing what they don't have. Despite being data and treated like tools, they develop their own "humanity"... for better, and for worse. Through it all, the same group of Red and Blue goobers keep talking and arguing. They win against highly trained special agents with incredibly advanced equipment, vicious mercenaries with back-up from a corrupt military group, and a reality-breaking "god". These clowns even got their own circus music (the Warthog Polka)

Waaaaay back in the day, when I was like... 15? A friend of mine had a brother, who had a friend, who let him borrow some DVDs of Red VS Blue, and I watched it at the friend's house. I had never played Halo (still haven't), but I got a chuckle out of it. I occasionally watched it when another friend would pull it up on their computer, and for a while, that was it... in 2021, I randomly thought to myself "Oh yeah... Red VS Blue was a thing". I hadn't thought about it for a decade. So I decided to watch it up to the point I remembered, somewhere in season 5. Some of the jokes... did not age well, but it was a nice little stroll down memory lane. Then I realized they made MORE after that. This show, at that time, had 18 seasons. So I kept watching, and now it has FILLED UP MY BRAIN

There is this fun aspect of very casual, conversational dialogue in the middle of absolutely bonkers situations. The characters will be doing the most extreme, dangerous sci-fi nonsense, and they still just bicker and chit-chat like regular dudes. It will also randomly sneak up, and hit you with EMOTIONS. There are incredibly sweet and sad moments, and others that have no business being so IMPACTFUL and MEANINGFUL, but they are. The characters are all so stupid, yet full of potential and depth, everybody is just perfect fuel for imagination

I have a few favorite scenes! In the episode "Long Time No See", the characters Epsilon and Carolina are shown working together, gathering information on a shady organization. In the middle of this, they are threatened by a group of security soldiers, and we get see how Epsilon, as an AI with the memories of the other Fragments, can assist Carolina; time slows down as the AI work at bullet-speed, with Epsilon running calculations, making a plan for how Carolina can fight back and escape. The memories of the Fragments can interact with Epsilon, and give suggestions or feedback based on their skills. It is just so AWESOME to see how far the characters have come, the teamwork they share... and it is also a little bitter-sweet, because seeing the Fragments like this is how it could have (should have) been with Alpha. It also shows Carolina, who was once determined not to get close to anybody again (after losing so many people she cared about), has really bonded with Epsilon, and it helps her realize she misses the rest of the clowns. Another favorite scene has some background context; the intro to the series, the very first scene of the very first episode, is Grif and Simmons having a conversation- "Do you ever wonder why we're here?" "It's one of life's great mysteries". As the show goes on, that becomes a reoccurring conversation, sometimes as a joke, sometimes as something more relevant. In season 15, the main characters meet another group of Blues and Reds, who all resemble them in some way, but are also kind of "mirror opposites". The characters have the same armor color, but different voice actors... except for Simmons. His look-alike is Gene, and they have the same VA (Simmons insists they don't sound similar at ALL, Gene is totally annoying). When it is revealed this group is EVIL, there is a moment when we see one soldier in maroon armor pull a knife and attempt to stab another soldier in maroon armor. This is Simmons and Gene, but which is which? Grif arrives, and has that same problem. Both Gene/Simmons insist "I'm the real Simmons, shoot him"... so Grif asks- "Why are we here?". One maroon soldier says they're here to stop the bad guys. The other one says "We don't know why we're here. It's still one of life's great mysteries". HECK YEAH, THAT'S YOUR SIMMONS. There are like a thousand other moments I like that are pure comedy, but those are the big emotional moments

I've rambled about Grif and Simmons a stupid amount, I've also gone on long tangents for Church and Tex, so I'll talk about one of my other favorites, Tucker! In the beginning, he doesn't take any of this seriously (but who does). He's there to be an annoying, shameless flirt, and does so with ease. The thing is, even when he's acting obnoxious and immature, there are moments when you can tell he's actually capable of a LOT. He's smart, when he lets himself think without getting distracted, he's a strong fighter when he's not showing off, and he's genuinely got a good heart (when he's not complaining). As the show goes on, he becomes more important... whether he likes it or not. What do you do when all your big-talk about being the coolest dude ever turns out to be TRUE, but that also means you're responsible for keeping people alive? Tucker also easily fits into any combination of characters, whoever he is with, they get a fun dynamic going (even Sarge, the Red who claims to hate the Blues with an endless burning passion, will do some back-up beat-boxing for Tucker when he sings a taunting song at mutual enemies). He'll tease the others and be a little jerk, but is also incredibly protective of the people he cares about. Tucker once got attacked by a space alien that left a parasite baby in him, and years later, he carries around pictures of Junior in his wallet so he can show off how much he loves his son. Tucker is incredibly clever, and has a lot of emotional depth... he just wishes he didn't have to worry so much, all he wants is to stand around and talk to his best friend. Through all the bravado, the insecurities, and the bow-chicka-wow-wow jokes, Tucker is just very interesting AND entertaining~ (also, thanks to one off-hand comment another character made about his "metro-sexual good looks", all the fans kind of just agreed that under the helmet, Tucker is the prettiest)

Thanks for asking! (and sorry for rambling so much haha)

[mr007pennyworth]

Feeding Barry Headcanon

“Is this a bad time to bring up my blood sugars?”

If there was one thing Bruce had to make sure he calculated for when he built the Justice League was making sure his speedster didn't go hungry. 

Money, was never the issue, the real issue came about making sure Barry had someone TO MAKE SURE he was eating enough to cope. 

On an average day, just from watching Barry consume a full 18 inch pizza by himself and a guess from looking at the details of some of the foods he’d listed online, that he and Alfred would have there hands full.

Well, more Alfred. 

Cue, Alfred. 

When Bruce explained Barry’s apatite to Alfred at first, he didn't quite see the issue, Bruce downed 3,500 calories a day most of it just proteins so, another mouth to feed wasn’t all that hard, Dick had been on the same by the time he’d hit 16. 

But when Bruce ran the simulation of Barry’s metabolism on the computer, they both began to panic. 

How was a boy his age managing to feed himself the MINIMUM of DOUBLE Bruce’s calories a day on his budget?!

Alfred came to the conclusion that unless Barry ate roughly 7,000 calories a day at minimum, he’d start losing weight. 

Bruce was in the trash in ten minutes, digging up the MacDonald's takeaway containers he’d bought Barry just that afternoon. 

He’d given the kid his card and said go. Now he sat here with the boxes of 3 Bigs Mac’s, 6 double cheeseburgers, 3 packets of large fries, 20 chicken nuggets, a black coffee, a large irn bru and 5 apple pies. That was roughly 9,087 calories from what they could add up from the nutritional info. 

That was LUNCH. That was...Barry’s minimum daily needs and only $50 out Bruce’s pocket. 

$50, was pretty much Barry’s budget for THREE days of meals not just one. 

Bruce went to argue with Barry that he needed to move in, Alfred managed to stop him. 

Barry was all grown up and had been independent for too long to allow Bruce to walk into his life and smother him. 

But something had to be done. 

It took awhile but Barry did move in with some carefully plying by Alfred and the Butler managed to start tracking his food intake.

By making sure Barry got 6 meals a day for his 7,000 calories out of Bruce’s pocket, letting Barry add the rest became routine. 

Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch, Afternoon Tea, Diner and Supper, Alfred was finally back to using his cook books that had been gathering dust. 

Each meal had to have 1,160 calories and 30g or more of proteins to be any use to Barry’s development. Now, Alfred could have just given the boy a lump of cash and let him go bonkers on fast food, but the fat’s and sugars were the bigger hurdles, as much as it met his calories and his proteins in meat from burgers...it didn’t meet everything else. 

Barry’s malnutrition he found didn’t just come from the lack of food, it was the lack of the RIGHT foods. Even though Alfred balanced all six of Barry’s meals a day to cater for vitamins and such it wouldn’t be enough in places, that was where medication would have to come in, now he finds one afternoon after offering the boy some ibuprofen, that they didn’t work, his metabolism swallowed the effects in just a few minutes. Even tripling the dose, it was out of his system in just 12 minutes. That ment that to account for the speed at which his body used it’s building blocks everything had to be at least TWENTY times the rate of a normal human every day just for Barry to get a close enough dose of his nutrition. 

To put into perspective, an average male needs 500ug of Vitamin D a day, thats...30 minutes of sun. Barry, on the other hand needed over 10,000 a day just to function. Something that was easily helped with him being able to travel, a couples of hours in Australia and he’d get a solid top up, but running back ment using his powers, ment burning his body’s reserves, it was one hell of a game. Tablets, were Alfred’s go to. Ten dissolvable multi vitamin tablets in a 2 liter bottle of OJ a day and Barry was good to go, with his meals included, Alfred was glad to see Barry starting to look better after the first few months. 

Until, he wasn’t.

Going to work without breakfast, had Alfred concerned, but he had his packed brunch and lunch, he had his extra cash for snacks. To find that the lunch had only been half eaten when he came home was massive question mark.

Dinner Time...he said he wasn’t hungry and Alfred had him dragged towards the cave in just a moment. 

Just the ONE day of not eating his minimum calories and all the work that they had progressed on was fading. Barry still as much as he’d gotten off his chest about the anniversary of his mothers death, refused to eat. 

IV’s it came too then. 

Dragging the boy back upstairs, he handed him off to Bruce who situated him in his room while Alfred set about getting Barry on some IV drips.

Barry muttered on about the fuss but didn't fight Bruce keeping him in the bed as Alfred put IV catheters in both arms. 6 bags of 20% dextrose fluids wouldn’t do the job his meals should have but it would prevent him from going hypoglycemic for the rest of the day. In the mean time, Bruce set about finding his weak spot, his food weak spot. Now Barry liked a lot of food, he liked many different foods and Bruce was pretty willing to pay anything for him to eat something. 

He returned a few hours later with takeaway Chinese food , Indian Food , Italian food as well as three large pizzas, Mexican food meals, nearly every MacDonald's burger, Fried Chicken bucket meals, Kebabs, 48 Krispy Kreme Dounuts, nine different 12 inch sub sandwiches, Frozen meals from several different supermarkets and even a huge three tier chocolate cake. Bruce had been about to run back out of the door when he recalled a Brazilian takeaway just outside of town as well as another chicken shop when Barry came out of his room pulling the IV stand with him woken up at all the kerfuffle Alfred was making. 

“Master Bruce it’s midnight I doubt the boy is going to eat”

Barry, pulling out the IV’s then sat down at the table quietly as they argued, looking over everything Bruce had bought him slightly shy of the money he could imagine he’d spent. A smile broke out on his face at the sight of the brown bag. 

“He’s just started gaining weight, Alf if he doesn't-” “I’m fully aware, Bruce look, one day won't kill him, the IV’s will hold on off the worst of the hypo-”

*crunch* 

They turned to see the boy happily munching prawn crackers. 

Alfred pretty much dropped to the sofa in relief. Bruce just started laughing before pulling out a chair to sit opposite the speedster who was now eyeing up the cake as he packed prawn crackers into one of kebabs. 

Nobody said a word until Barry had consumed at least five of the items on the table and paused for a can of lemonade. 

“Barry?”

The pup looks up to Alfred on the sofa who was sat with a cup of tea, paper work spread out across his lap as Bruce sat beside him with a his laptop. It was just past one one in the morning. 

“Promise me something?”

Barry paused in reaching for the rice pot next to the Korma to indicate he was listening. “When this happens again, you’ll tell me when you’ll eat again before giving us a heart attack won’t you?”

The younger nodded and fought the laugh he almost made at Bruce getting whacked with the folder in Alfred’s hand at his old man response. 

Suddenly, Curry wasn't what he wanted. He’d had a kebab, a pizza, three burgers, a subs sandwich and a whole bucket of chicken...he needed something sweet, picking up one of the boxes of dounuts he pads over to the sofa dropping himself between Alfred and Bruce who shared an intrigued look, Barry picks a dounut before pushing the box into Alfred’s lap with a cheeky smirk. 

Alfred sighs, the boys puppy brown eyes were too hard to resist and picks one out putting it in his mouth before passing the box back over to Bruce, the vigilante grimaced and went to give them back but caught Barry’s look of confusion. 

“Okay, okay, just one, I guess it won’t ruin my diet” 

Grabbing the remote, Alfred passes it to Barry as he puts away the paperwork, Bruce does the same tucking away the laptop and watches as Barry flicks for a movie. 

“Coffee, Dounuts and bad horror movies at one in the morning...I guess it beats being out in the rain eh” Bruce laughs licking chocolate off his fingers as Barry snuggles into Alfred’s side. 

“It’s perfect” Barry smiles around a mouthful of dounut, pulling a face as Alfred goes to wipe the caramel dripping off his chin. 

Feeding Barry was always going to be a challenge, but for our vigilante and Butler Dad, it was worth it just to see him happy. 

[nickcifonie]

In 2021, Anyone Can Make $ Playing Video Games!

I grew up playing games like Risk, Monopoly, a little Chess... and still remember buying my first computer somewhere around 1986 solely to play a computer game on. It was an Apple IIc, and that first game was some type of Pirate Adventure. I wish I remembered the name. It wasn’t all that good, but still, I was hooked!

Since that first adventure, I’ve spent thousands of hours as well as dollars playing just about every type of digital game that has followed! PC games, Atari, Wii, mobile games... you name it, I play it! I’d always generalize the cost (to myself at least) thinking “some guys play golf 3 days a week at $100 a round... I play computer games”.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it! However, the story has changed...

“Pay to Play” has become “Play to Earn”!

If you would be to search terms like “crypto games”, “blockchain games”, “make money playing video games”, and others, you’d find some really incredible statements. Today, quotes like the ones below are becoming more and more common!

“I made $400 last week playing a computer game” “I just sold my RPG character for $200 profit”

“I was offered $1k for a skin for my laser rifle of doom” (I made up the “laser rifle of doom” part)

“I bred my pet thingamajig yesterday and sold the baby!” (it’s digital, for those of you wincing)

In 2021, thanks to the blockchain, there’s a growing community of gamers who are making real dollars daily, mining, fighting, shooting, jumping... all while playing the same type of mobile and PC games that you had to PAY to play just a short while ago...

...but let’s start at the beginning.

You paid $172,000 for a what!?

Yes... all the way back in 2018 a CryptoKitty named “Dragon” was sold for an incredible $172,000. (300 ETH) Don’t be too surprised, it’s justified! It’s an adorable digital image, or “NFT” of a cat, after all.

It’s a lot of money, but for NFTs and blockchain gaming, flipping a Kitty today may as well be considered the stone ages. It’s still a record, but while you can still get started collecting these digital felines for as low as a couple of dollars, big-dollar trades still happen daily.

On the flip side of mortgaging your home to buy a digital picture of a CryptoKitty, Bored Ape, or CryptoPunk, you may feel better if you begin your adventure into making crypto (it’s real money, dear!) by playing a video game where you can “make money” instead of spending it.

I’m not saying owning a CryptoKitty or any of a plethora of “Avatar NFTs” we see popping up on various exchanges isn’t one way to do it... I’m saying to me at least, as a life-long gamer I’d much prefer playing a mobile, console, or PC game to collecting pictures in a digital wallet.

So what the heck is an NFT?

I could go into a long explanation... but since this article is about gaming and not cryptocurrency, I’ll tell you an NFT is a “non-fungible token”, and leave you google it if you really want to dig in deep. I do want to share more, so I’ll ‘splain it as simple as I can for you Lucy!

A CryptoKitty, as stated above, is a type of image called an NFT. (the collection is called “CryptoKitties) It’s a digital picture of a cartoon cat. There are thousands of different ones that have different shapes, colors, expressions and traits. (kind of like a real cat, but eats less)

The difference, is only one of each design is actually a legitimate “CryptoKitty”. (or a legitimate whatever type of image it happens to be) To be clearer... each NFT is a “one of a kind”, so if you’re thinking “but can’t I just make a copy?”, nope you can’t.

I mean... you “can” make a copy of it if you really dig the design and want it on your desktop, but it would only be a copy of that particular NFT, not the real McCoy! Ok... so what makes one real, and the rest fakes? The blockchain.

Now, I’m going to be true to my word and keep my promise of not making this an article about crypto or the blockchain, so just know this: the difference between an image that is an actual NFT, and a copy of one, is there is an underlying digital code that designates the real thing.

So real in fact, that artists are creating or importing their paintings and creations to the web as NFTs, numbering them as they would a lithograph, and selling their entire collections. So if you are an art fan, check with your favorite creators... you may be surprised to find all of their “works of art” on an online marketplace!

NFTs are viewed on certain marketplace websites and digital wallets where the copies cannot be displayed, so that is how we know one is real, and the others are not! Having said that, sure, there’s more to it, but just know that there’s a 100% secure way of knowing an image is a real NFT.

In addition, there can be more than one NFT with the same identical image. However, each has a unique underlying code, so even if they look exactly the same, they are not! Look at it like the playing cards or comic books of old... there may be 1,000 created (or “minted” as it’s called in NFT land) but they will each be numbered 1 to 1,000.

And guess which is more valuable.....? I knew you’d get it!

And these NFT’s make money how?

You’re getting warmer! There are a lot of different types of games coming out these days where you can make money playing. There are RPG’s, MOBA’s, Shooters, games in first person and in third, dungeon crawls... you name it!

If you’re thinking “how did I not know this!”, I was the same until recently! I have been gaming almost daily since I stepped into Ultima Online back in 1997, and I can’t even begin to tally how many hours and/or dollars I’ve invested into gaming.

Now, our hobby pays!

After 30-something years, my wife still thinks I’m bonkers... but I got a totally different look from her a few days ago when I told her I sold my game character for well over $200. Legit. I sold two more yesterday, and another this afternoon.

Some of these only cost me $10 or $15, some much more. Some are free. I sold another NFT character last week for $1,950, and it was sold on the game’s website, not on the black market.

So not only can an NFT be a picture of an Ape, Vegetable, Duck, or Stripper on a pole (we’ll leave it at that) but it can be a character in a game, a weapon, a mount, armor, or more.

One game is giving away free pet turtles with each character. For the uneducated on “pets” in computer games, it’s not the kind you keep in a bowl in your bedroom. It’s a companion that fights with you in an online game and may shoot fire from its eyes, heal you, or similar.

Soon after being handed out for free, they’re now selling for around $60 each.

So an NFT can be an image, a video, music, a meme... or even a shirt or shoes! But we’ll leave the NFT clothing explanation to another article. ;)

Remember that rare skin you paid out the nose for a year ago in Apex? Or the L33T character you built up in Fortnite or Warcraft? If you’re no longer playing that game, it’s money under the bridge. And you don’t own the bridge!

In this new breed of blockchain games, you could have LEGALLY sold that character, skin, weapon, land, house, mount, or whatever it was when you tired of the game. For a profit. Maybe for a LARGE profit.

Yes, in the past we were able to find ways to get around the system and dump our pixels from time to time. We’d sell the account on the black market, or cut a deal with someone like a drug dealer on a Chicago Street corner. Then we’d over who went first...

“You give me the account and weapon first!” “No you give me the money first”.  Sometimes the deals even went through. Others well... let’s just say half of the parties walked away happy.

I made good money when after 4 years of daily playing I sold my Ultima Online account for somewhere around $2,000, but I needed to find a trustworthy “go-between” to broker the deal. Even then, I was sweating it!

With today’s crypto games, not only do the games provide the platform to buy, sell, or trade your character and items, but it’s encouraged, and done with good old U.S dollars! I’ve made $ playing 4 or 5 different games already this week, as well as flipping (buying low and selling higher) NFT characters!

How else can I make money playing games?

The way you earn varies from game to game, but each week seems to reveal another new strategy, platform, or idea. Many are new strategies, and while some have “triple A” 3D animation and graphics, others are simpler and use basic one-dimensional graphics for the gameplay.

Some of these games are actually tied to a token on the blockchain. The game developer creates their own token, not too unlike Bitcoin or Ethereum, and it can be bought or sold on the open market as well as used in the game as currency.

Could you imagine if back in League of Legends, Guild Wars or Final Fantasy, when you were ready to move to a new game, you could sell or easily convert your gold to cash? Some of today’s blockchain games encourage it!

Not only can you now buy and sell characters and weapons, the gold in the game can be traded, bought, sold, or saved like real currency, stocks, crypto, or collectables. Never have I been as excited about PC and mobile gaming as I am today!

As an example, I am doing some work for a new game that will launch soon called Pepper Attack. Pepper Attack has its own token or coin... called MYTE. It can be used in the game as currency, but also be traded like Bitcoin. A lot of today’s blockchain games offer this same benefit.

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to mine I go!

Just by owning an NFT from the game, you can login on a daily basis and click “mine” earning real-value tokens passively. Your Pepper goes to work like one of the 7 Dwarves mining MYTE, and later on you can convert it to other tokens or cold, hard cash.

There's more to do in this particular game as well. Like any good RPG or MMORPG, each pepper has a unique combination or skills like attack, defense, evade, hit points, and more. As an example of the possibilities, if you have a high attack score, other characters will be able to pay you in MYTE to “train” them, raising their score as well.

In addition, these NFTs have unique physical traits, some are common and some are very rare. This game in particular have toons that look more like anime-ish elves with weapons and a stem... I have to admit the artwork is really spicey! (see what I did there?) Other games are of course totally different.

Some people will simply collect these NFTs/characters as an investment, like playing cards or comics. Others will use them in the game, and still others will do both. Either way, they can be held, or sold for a profit!

Unlike the games of the past, when you’re ready to move on you don’t walk away and lose all the $ you have spent for characters, skins, weapons, potions, and other items. When you’re done, you’ll be able to sell your character and items... possibly for a profit... maybe a lot of profit... and move on.

These are not your father’s computer games!

As we move ahead in the genre, we are seeing AAA studios coming out with big-dollar productions, like Blankos, Mist, Illuvium, Ember Sword and others. Some of these games actually let you buy the land you build on!

Did you have your own house in Ultima Online, Star Wars Galaxies, or Archeage? What if you could have used It as a shop and been paid in dollars for your wares, rented it to another player, or sold it for cold hard cash at a huge profit down the road?

In many of today’s games, not only is it common, but extremely hard to come by, and quite expensive. Not only are people paying thousands of dollars for a plot in some of the games that have land, but they’re paying it many months before the game is even released.

They do it, because in many cases they know that they can easily 2X, 10X, or even 50X their investment a short piece down the road. Seriously? Seriously... and the early bird catches the worm!

Other games with lesser budgets are more graphic-based, but have super earnings potential as well, and are just as fun to play. These include Splinterlands, (a card game like Magic!) Crypto Blades, Axie Infinity and more.

Regardless of if the new blockchain game of your choice is a RPG, MOBA, a card game or racing game... the fact that you can put some coin into your pocket playing adds a whole new element. It’s heckafun making money playing a game!

The early nerd catches the worm!

In many cases, if you can catch a game before it releases, the land, characters, weapons, and other items... in most cases all NFTs... can be grabbed at a tiny fraction of the future value.

Of course, always check out the game details and team first, and be confident it’s a good place to put your money. Not all games are made the same.

If you’re lucky enough to find out about and partake in an early sale, for example, like grabbing a character NFT or two in   “Pepper Attack”  before the late September launch date, you may be in for a real treat!

There are plenty of new titles coming down the pipe that look to be fun, have great communities, and offer earning opportunities. A web search will find services and websites that will keep you on your toes and alert you of upcoming blockchain game releases, marketplace opening, and more.

As we look forward, the future of gaming on the blockchain is really, really exciting! Not only are the games getting better and more fun, but they’re getting better at making the economics work more smoothly as well.

The games are not without challenges, as they need to be made to sustain themselves economically over the long haul. In addition, they need to have higher levels of security (thanks blockchain!) and of course, work without becoming “pay to win”. Thankfully, the new breed of developers have risen to the challenge!

The next time you look for a new game to add to your phone or desktop, or just want a change of pace, look to a game that pays to play! Your wallet might thank you.

Another perk, is your husband or wife will appreciate it as well! Instead of hearing “are you going to play that stupid game all night again?”, you may start to hear things like “I’ll put the kids to bed tonight sweetheart, so you can get online and play”.

One can only hope...

Author - Nick Cifonie

Nick is a lifelong gamer, who cut his teeth at the local Chicago arcade playing Tetris as a teen. Better known as Znick or Deacon Z, Nick became a Game Master in Ultima Online in 1997, ran a large multi-game guild for 15 years, and now spends his time in the “play to earn” arena. Professionally, Nick is a writer and 4-decade marketer working with the  Pepper Attack team, as well as others. Nick is also a Catholic Deacon.

[finestoftheflavors]

Here’s a take that’s specifically about the LessWrong memeosphere. Now, keep in mind that I haven’t actually visited LessWrong (or 2.0) with any regularity in the past three years at least. Also, I haven’t read Superintelligence by Bostrom, etc, which ought to be more in-depth on the topic I’m wondering about, compared to some casual internet thread.

But still, the lack of prominent discussion given to my point of confusion astounds me. Maybe I’m unique in being the only one who’s confused by it. Maybe I’m unique in being the only one smart enough to notice the issue. Maybe this particular issue just never made its way into the internet conversations that I happen to have read. I’ll admit that I’ve never had a complete knowledge of every LessWrong AI discussion, not even back in the days when I was unemployed and depressed and had nothing better to do than read LessWrong.

Here’s my issue. There’s a common thought experiment, in LessWrong circles, about simulated worlds. A computer system is running a program that simulated a world, possibly even an approximation of the world that the computer itself exists in, and is detailed enough that the simulations experience consciousness. Okay, we’ll assume for the moment that all this is perfectly plausible and obvious because I’m not confused about that part. Next, the discussion goes to thought a experiment about not being able to tell whether you’re living in a simulation or not. Okay? Because if you simulate your reality perfectly, then the simulation includes a computer that’s simulating its reality, and so on, meaning that it’s overwhelmingly likely that you’re living in a simulation. That’s the argument, LW has a bunch of discussions with this premise.

Well, the simulation argument makes absolutely no sense to me. It makes no sense because how do you make a computer that can simulate the universe? Doesn’t make sense. I mean, you can’t even make a computer that simulates itself, right? That would be bonkers, like a perpetual motion device but for computation. I mean, suppose for a moment that the purest computronium needs ten atoms to simulate the behavior of one atom. (Ignore energy requirements for simplicity.) So, even if you turned the entire universe into computronium, you’d only be able to run a simulated universe of one tenth the size. The second-level simulation would be one percent the size of the base level universe. And so on.

Point B: As far as we know, we live in a finite universe. What if the base-level universe isn’t finite? It could contain an arbitrarily large computer, large enough to simulate us. Maybe an infinite universe could even contain an infinitely large computer, who the fuck knows, nobody knows because this hypothetical base-level universe clearly has different laws of physics that we don’t know about.

Point C: Maybe you could build a computer that could simulate the universe with good-enough fidelity. So, the fidelity of each simulation is less than the one above, but clearly the simulations have to get much worse each level you go down. Unsustainable. I guess maybe you don’t need infinitely nested simulations, though -- even if there’s just simulation-within-a-simulation, then there’s already an opportunity to argue that there’s a two-in-three chance of being one of the people living in a simulation. Wait, not quite, because in the lowest level you’d be in a world that’s not big enough to build a computer that simulate itself with reasonable fidelity... but then the middle layer would contain people who see that they can simulate their universe with good enough fidelity up to the point that it tries to contain the next simulation of itself -- shit, I’ve confused myself now, I’ll have to think about this later.

I thought I had something to write as Points D and E but I’ve lost my train of thought.

Oh yeah, Point D: You could simulate only the minds when you do your simulation, hell you could simulate only one mind -- remember the concept of solipsism, well maybe it’s a solipsism-by-design, that’s a more tractable thing to simulate, I guess. And LW also poses thought experiments where an AI tells you it has several simulations of base-level-you, now you are to believe that there’s a 90% chance that your experiences are at the mercy of the AI. Okay, but that’s all getting side-tracked, that scenario doesn’t get us any further toward making nested simulations any more plausible.

Anyway, my point is, I feel like I’ve read a bunch of pages of discussions full of people who just uncritically accept the idea that arbitrarily-deeply-nested simulations are a plausible concept, and it weirds me out that I don’t remember anybody in all those pages bringing up my issue which sort of destroys the concept in about five minutes, unless I’m missing something?

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “A.N.N.I.E.”

A.N.N.I.E. (Artificial Non-Neurological Intelligent Entity) is an outdated android model that emerged on the market two years ago. The Joker purchased her as a toy for his son not knowing she will become the recipient of desperate attempts to keep Y/N with him. After the woman’s unexpected death, experiments meant to transfer her conscience inside Annie failed yet The King of Gotham couldn’t part with the only thing that reminded him of someone he actually cared about.

“Can you fix her?” The Joker asks the two programmers that have been assessing the android for the past 15 minutes.

“Hard to tell sir, but we are trying to determine what triggered the malfunction,” Zariah points at the 4 laptop screens simultaneously running diagnostics. “Recently there’s been a spike in flaws regarding A.N.N.I.E. models; after all they were released 2 years ago. I would recommend acquiring the most current technology…”

“No need to!” J bitterly cuts him off. “Just fix her!”

“We will do our best, sir!” Mickel reassures The King of Gotham: his wretched temper might interfere with today’s agenda and the two hackers simply can’t afford it.  

“Your best is not enough,” The Joker growls. “She cornered my son last night and almost crushed him against the wall. I had to use manual override to shut her down. That’s not typical machine behavior, is it?!”

“No sir, although I’ve heard of similar incidents in the past months. If it continues, Annie prototype will be pulled off the market soon,” Zariah informs.

“Her name‘s not Annie,” The Clown Prince of Crime interrupts the unwanted advice. “Her name’s Y/N!”

Awkward silence and Kase’s voice resonates from upstairs.

“Daddy?... Daddy?...”

“My son’s awake; I’ll be back,” J abandons the two men in a hurry and stumbles on the numerous cables connecting the laptops to the cyborg on his way out.

“Goddammit!”, he huffs through his clenched teeth before vanishing around the corner.

“That was fucking weird,” Mickel whispers. “What does he means her name is not A.N.N.I.E.?! Am I crazy? Is this not Artificial Non-Neurological Intelligent Entity sitting in that chair?!”

“Of course it is,” Zariah confesses in low tone. “He gives me the creeps too how he thinks she’s in there.”

“What do you mean “she”?” the obvious question follows.

“Check those cords,” Zariah urges and continues: “You noticed he corrected me with the name for the pile of rubbish.”

“Yeah,” the other guy begins typing a bunch of configurations while listening to the scoop.

“Y/N used to take care of his kid. Nobody can say who she really was: some believe she might have even been the mother, that her and Mister Joker were together. Others swear the little boy called her auntie; maybe she actually was Mister J’s sibling. Who the hell knows? She was a strange woman and she looked… different also,” Zariah’s gaze circles the premises to make sure their employer is not eavesdropping.

“No shit!” Mickel frowns at the statistics popping up on the monitors.

“Yeah, I saw her a few times, gave me the creeps. Something was off with her, you just could tell. Mister J always had jerks working for him and I guess they clashed with Y/N quite often: it got so bad they dared planning a prank that ended horribly. Do you know the warehouse on 14th street? The 6 stories one?”

“No.”

“Well, supposedly it happened there: Mister J was out of town and had no clue about the scheme plotted without his consent. The crew took his son on the roof and threatened they will toss him off the building if she doesn’t jump instead.”

“And?!” Mickel halts his typing, intrigued.

“She jumped… … they didn’t think she would.”

“Holy crap! I had no idea!”

“Dude, it was a disaster!” Zariah shrugs depicting the facts. “Y/N splattered all over the concrete, broken to pieces… Despite the severe injuries, she didn’t die immediately: she was in a coma for almost a month before passing away. Mister J had Annie already, he probably bought her as a toy for Kase when it first emerged on the market. The rumor is that while Y/N was in a coma he kidnapped scientists and forced them to work on a senseless project: transferring her conscience inside Annie.”

“You’re shitting me!” Mickel exclaims at the insane disclosure.

“Nope.”

“Can’t be done; it’s impossible!”

“And who’d dare explain the obvious to him, huh? Not the researchers he killed the moment she stopped breathing if you get my drift.”

“That’s messed up!” Mickel forcefully exhales, infinitely more nervous about being at The Penthouse for the moment.

“Do you remember the serial murders that shook Gotham 3 months ago?” Zariah has more gossip for his partner. “It was Mister J hunting down every single person that was on the roof the day Y/N jumped.”

“We shouldn’t be here,” the anxious Mickel shrugs. “Maybe we should abandon our mission.”

“Bulshit! They’ll pay us double over anything he offers so don’t be a pussy! Speaking of, you should assemble the guns prior to his return!”

Mickel is reluctant to the whole scenario, yet he compiles the two guns out of items resembling computer parts scattered in their suitcases: that’s how they were able to deceive security.

“Done,” he stashes one finished weapon under his jacket, offering the other to Zariah.

“Remain calm and we’ll be ok,” the latest mumbles. “Let’s pretend we’re here to repair this junk.”

A couple more minutes pass by and The Joker’s presence alongside his offspring makes the two guys cringe.

The little boy hides behind his father’s legs, shyly glancing the android’s way.

“Don’t be scared,” J grumbles. “She’s in power saving mode, it’s fine.”

“Yes, it’s perfectly safe,” Zariah winks. “We are almost done extracting all the data,” he gestures at the laptop’s screens.

Kase giggles and rushes to climb on Annie’s knees, excited to see her after she wasn’t allowed to sleep in his room last night which is understandable since the robot went bonkers.

“Hi Y/N,” the child softly pulls on her long hair. “I want waffles pwease.”

The hackers exchange meaningful glares and The Joker replies:

“She can’t for now,” he mutters. “She’s defective. Frost will take you out for breakfast, alright?”

“Does it hurt?” the 5 year old pouts at his parent’s affirmation: he doesn’t comprehend all the words and it’s difficult for a kid to process the concept of transference.

After Y/N died, The Joker told Kase she moved inside Annie: he wasn’t delusional about his failed experiment but it was easier to make his son cope with the loss of the woman that raised him. J doesn’t literally believe there’s any trace of Y/N in the machine: how could it be? Several months passed and nothing proved what he tried to accomplish succeeded: a twisted concept originating from a distorted mind was doomed from the start.

“It doesn’t hurt,” The Clown Prince of Crime sighs. “She’s resting.”

“Sir, I think you should see this,” Mickel gets his attention.

“What am I looking at?”

“You used voice command to lock down the android?” Zariah pinpoints at the monitor to his left.

“I did.”

“That’s not what turned off the system: see the numbers flowing borderline with the  central matrix, the tiny squares? She wasn’t locked down by external command, she was terminated from within.”

“What do you mean?!” Mickel scoots over in his rolling chair, baffled.

“Somebody trespassed the firewall,” his accomplice utters the obvious.

J is less than happy with the random discovery still he requires confirmation of his suspicion.

“Meaning?”

“Annie, I mean Y/N is the recipient of a cyber-attack: she’s been hacked.”

“Hacked?” J scoffs. “What for? She’s just a companion android, it doesn’t make any sense.”

“Not sure, sir…” Zariah lifts his shoulders up, baffled.

“Can you find the source?” the green haired individual suggests.

“Analyzing the algorithm shows puzzling results: these numbers should be repeating themselves every so often, yet they don’t; never seen anything like it and I’ve been dealing with computers for a long time,” Mickel adds. “The most interesting detail is certainly challenging our expertise: tracking the root of the signal is pretty much unachievable. We should see input bouncing around from different servers because this is how hackers disguise their trail; but… this particular livestream happened simultaneously from various servers around the country.”

“There’s practically 0% chance for such abnormal hacking with today’s technology!” Zariah scrunches up his face at the baffling discovery. “How in the world was it done?!”

“You’re the experts!” The Joker barks. “I hired you based on strong recommendations from others that used your skills. Can you fix her or not?!”

“Of course, sir.”

“Yes!” the two associates ease The Clown’s doubt. “We’ll unplug the cables, we already removed all necessary info.”

Kase watches them detach the cords from Annie’s access ports, the child sulking at their action.

“Y/N, does it hurt?” he asks and hops off her lap. The empty shell doesn’t respond since the robot is in power saving mode.

“It doesn’t hurt,” The King of Gotham duplicates his earlier statement. “Frost!” he addresses the henchman entering the living room. “Take him to our restaurant on Madison Avenue for breakfast then he can play at the property on Foster Creek until we are done here. I want a 3 cars escort.”

“Yes, boss. I’ll call in advance and tell them not to open the place until we’re done.”

“Good,” J agrees with his henchman’s proposal. “Kase, go and eat!” he urges the offspring having a few more secrets to share with Annie. “Come on, let’s go!” the impatient father encourages.

The 5 year old obeys and kisses Annie’s cheek, whispering:

“I’ll bwing you beck’fast auntie, ok?” and he rushes at Frost’s side screaming up a storm. “Byeeeee daaaaaddy!!!”

The programmers are so absorbed by the mystifying enigma they stumbled upon by accident they don’t pay attention to the little nugget’s promise: even if they would, Zariah and Mickel wouldn’t be able to untangle the convoluted riddle of Y/N’s true identity.

She wasn’t The Joker’s girlfriend nor Kase’s mother: Y/N was nothing less than The Clown’s younger sister.

The woman protected the only family she had like a hawk, thus she didn’t hesitate to give her life in exchange for her nephew’s.

Too bad she had no idea those jerks were mocking her when she ended up on that accursed roof.  

Too bad her brother didn’t guess their intentions and extremely regrettable he was left alone without the only person he ever trusted.

Too bad she died granted J’s desperate efforts to keep her with him.

And so sad he didn’t know how much Y/N meant to him until she was gone.

“Isn’t it weird someone breached my android in the same time it was malfunctioning and closed her down?…” J stares outdoors on the terrace. “Why would anyone go through the trouble?... What’s the purpose?”

The familiar click of safety being taken off a gun awakens The Joker from apathy and he turns around: it’s not easy to surprise J but he’s stunned to notice the two experts he recruited pointing guns at him.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Cashing in a huge payday, sir,” Zariah sneers. “It’s not often you become a legend for murdering…”

The Joker is not listening, his attention diverted by the strange phenomenon occurring behind the two hackers threatening his life: Annie is standing up from her chair and that’s clearly not possible; she is in power saving mode!

The android grabs Mickel’s arm and twists it to 90 degrees, using his own pistol to blow his brains out. Before Zariah can react he’s knocked to the ground with such violence J starts backing out, unsure on what to do when Annie steps on the man’s neck.

The sound of fractured bone plus the cyborg’s attention clearly directed towards him now makes him shout:

“Code 71345, emergency override!”

“Access denied!” the robot approaches still calibrating its joints and electronic synapses.

What the hell is wrong with this thing?!

“Code 71345, emergency override!”

”Access denied!”

J wants to make a run for it but he’s aware Annie is faster; why is she glitching like this?! 

“Code 71…”

“Why are you trying to shut me down when I tried so hard to come back to you?” the cold voice halts the rest of his sentence.

The Joker takes a strenuous breath, dumbfounded at the shocking revelation:

“Y/N?... … Is… is… that you?!... …”

The android tilts its head to the left while an eerie smile flourishes on the plastic lips:

“Missed me?”

 Also read: MASTERLIST 

You can also follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[motleymoose]

Homecoming Pt.3: Bits & Pieces Ch. 3

Chapter 3

This Isn't A Peace Talk

Fandom: The Mandalorian, Star Wars Characters: The Mandalorian (Din Djarin), Gender Neutral Reader, The Child Words: 2.3k+ Warnings: SO MUCH ANGER AND SQUABBLING

Summary:

I get to use my mech skills, but also I have a fight with the bounty hunter.

Notes:

I don't know why it took so long to get this chapter out, but it's here now!!!

Thanks for reading!

Homecoming Masterlist

***GIF NOT MINE***

The hours bled into one another as we flew ever closer to the Mandalorian’s destination, and I was becoming nightmarishly restless. After checking the patched wiring in the hold’s crawlspace and tinkering with a few spare parts in need of cleaning, I snooped around the hold some more. Most of the hold was empty, except for a couple of crates marked FOOD AND MEDICAL and half-dozen still-frozen bounties in the carbonite lockers. With nothing to do and a whole lotta time to do it in, I prowled about the lower decks in tight figure-eights, much like a wild creature stuck in an observation tank. The boredom was driving me bonkers.

Unable to take the utter lack of stimulation anymore, I grabbed a portable equipment chest in one hand, shouldered the diagnostics kit on the opposite, and made my way precariously up the ladder to the top deck.

It didn’t take long for the bounty hunter to find me, borrowed tools scattered around me and a diagnostics pad in hand, pottering around the engineering room with grease smudged across my forehead.

“I told you to stay put,” the Mandalorian gruffed, nearly tripping over me. I sat cross-legged on the floor, running a simple program to check on the aural sensors. I glanced up at him dubiously. His fingers brushed his blaster in a convulsive if threatening manner.

“You told me to stay out of your way. Engineering isn’t anywhere near in your way, unless you deviate from your way on purpose.” I stopped, trying to sort out what exactly I meant by that. But I batted it away with a hmph. I didn’t have time to figure out my own nonsense. “Besides, can’t a person ogle another person’s band limiter cuffs without the third degree?” Still seated in front of the sensor panel, I craned my neck over my shoulder and up, agitated at the interruption.

The visor tilted upwards, contemplating. Gloved fingertips drummed on the pistol’s grip until he sighed deliberately and relaxed his arm. “Fine,” he said gruffly. “Just - don’t break anything important.”

“I’m a blackthumb. If I break it, I’ll fix it better,” I said, forcefully bright and smiling. The little diagnostics computer dinged. I unplugged it and stood up, stretching the kinks from my spine. Sidestepping the Mandalorian, I slapped his pauldron good-naturedly as I slithered past him and into the bay.

“I do want to take a look at your pressors, though. This ol’ girl ‘bout rattled the teeth out of my head when she came out of hyperspace. May also need to tweak the conversion module to keep up with all that new tech you’ve got back there,” I said, easily falling back into Professional Mechanic Mode. Making my way to the cockpit, I crawled underneath the control deck, holding a pen light between my teeth as I lay on my back and surveyed the wiring system.

A tiny, warm body flopped onto my legs, and I was delighted to see that the child had come to join me. He scrambled up my thighs, across my belly and came to rest on my chest. Big ears wiggling happily, the kid propped his chin in his hands and stared at me intently. I removed the flashlight from my mouth and wedged it between my neck and shoulder, making it easier to talk to him.

I happened to be in the middle of explaining the intricacies of navcomp programming to my rapt pupil when the toe of the hunter’s boot nudged my hip.

“What?” I asked curtly as the long mental list of small improvements faded from my mind. By then my hands were caked in carbon dust, and the child made no move to slide off of me. Resigning to my fate, I signaled for the Mandalorian to continue with whatever it was he had to say; I wasn’t going to be moving out from under the control deck any time soon.

A flutter of cloth on steel, and the bounty hunter was in my space, crouching beside the pilot’s chair, his helmet parallel to the lip of the deck.

“What are you doing to my ship.” His tone was smooth yet menacing.

Rolling my eyes, I shooed the child off of me and clambered out from under the panel. The Mandalorian had retreated to the door while I’d wriggled out. Brushing dirty fingers across the chest of my jumpsuit, I sunk heavily into the co-pilot’s seat, scratching my forehead with my opened multitool. The little one trundled to me from out of the console’s shadows and tugged at my pantleg until I was obliged to pick him up. He held a small silver object tightly in his grubby little hands, and he ferreted it away underneath his tunic as soon as he settled onto my lap.

“Just a few minor adjustments and reroutes. Nothing too fancy or critical. Did you know this ship was stripped by Jawas?” I gestured animatedly with my custom multi-purpose tool. “I wouldn’t have noticed with how amazing the rebuild was, but I could tell by the wiring harness modifications. Distinctly Jawa scavenged mods.” Grinning stupidly, I shook my head in amazement. “Whoever rebuilt the Crest sure knew what they were doing!”

“Yes,” the bounty hunter replied, a little more brusquely than I thought the conversation warranted. He leaned against the cockpit’s door frame, arms crossed and exuding false indifference. He was strangely emotive for how much beskar covered his body.

“No doshing way?” I exclaimed. The prospect of Jawas intrigued me to no end; they were a scavenging people, mainly dealing in mech and droids. Their methods of acquiring said mech and droids could be considered loosely in the vicinity of ethical, if you squinted really hard, but they always did have the best stuff.

The Mandalorian stared out into the inky dark of space, starlight blurring over the silvery dome of his helmet. He cleared his throat, started to say something and then stopped. I waited patiently, the prickly curiosity holding my jittery nerves in place. The kid whined and made grabby hands at my multitool, so I folded it back into itself and gave it to him. It looked absurdly gigantic in his tiny fingers, but he gnawed on it with gusto.

A sigh crackled over the bounty hunter’s vocoder. “An Ugna- my friend. His name was Kuiil. He negotiated to get all the parts back from the Jawas, and then he-he helped me repair the Razor Crest.” The tension he had been holding suddenly dissipated, and his shoulders sagged in something akin to relief. His breastplate rose and fell in a juttering, painful beat, and the strangled sigh of modulated air buzzing from his helmet told me everything I needed to know. Whoever Kuiil had happened to be, I knew that he must have been a very good friend to the Mandalorian, and his loss was still felt across hyperspace.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

The bounty hunter huffed. “Nu kyr’adyc, shi taab’echaaj’la.”

“Not gone, merely marching far away,” I murmured in turn.

The Mandalorian stilled. For a beat, neither of us moved. The silence widened the already substantial gap between us, sweeping away what little bit of common ground we had found purchase on. Having that tiny foothold crumble beneath me in a matter of seconds set me on edge. I didn’t like him any more than he liked me; our mutual dislike for one another had turned into something more, something almost companion-like. But since I had to go and open my big dumb mouth, we were back to Square One.

The kid let out a loud, wet snerkt!, pulling us both out of our respective thoughts.

Arms uncrossing and leather gloves tightening into fists at his sides, the bounty hunter took the two steps from the doorway to the co-pilot’s chair. Without a sound, he took the slumbering child from my arms and stomped off to his quarters.

“I -” A tiny kernel of guilt blared in warning. “Wait, I didn’t mean to- ah, blast it,” I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest. I hadn’t meant any disrespect to his friend, or his Creed. I only knew enough Mando’a to get me into trouble, and I hoped I hadn’t overstepped any boundaries by saying the tribute in Basic. Fiddling with my multitool for a long moment, I tried to come up with some sort of apology that would convey my cultural misstep.

Wracking my brain for Mando’a phrases to express my regrets at my choice of words, I didn’t hear him return to the cockpit.

Huffing once more, the bounty hunter startled me from my guilt trip. I averted my eyes, swallowed my pride and braced myself to deliver an apology. “Look, bud. I’m not good with-”

“Where did you get this?” he asked, cutting me off from my apology.

“What are you -”

“Where did you get this necklace??” he repeated, hissing through his teeth.

Silver flashed into my field of vision. I blinked a few times, my eyes refusing to believe what the bounty hunter dangled in front of my face. “Wha-” My voice cracked dangerously. I couldn’t believe it. It was my pendant. My eyes followed the Mythosaur skull as it swung back and forth, mouth gaping in astonishment. A small spark of Hope rekindled somewhere deep down inside my chest, clearing a slim but bright path through the anger and the guilt that had been dogging me for the past several days.

“My - my..” I said weakly, tears pricking at my eyes. “Where did -”

The hunter lunged suddenly, slamming both fists down on the armrests on either side of me. I yelped in surprise, shrinking back in the co-pilot’s chair. Pinned in, I could do nothing more than stare at him, confused.

“This shouldn’t exist. It shouldn’t be yours.”

The small, flickering flame of Hope guttered out, and once more I was cold and empty and full of rage.

“What gives you the right?” I spat. I leaned as far forward as the hunter’s presence would allow, my nose almost pressed against the beskar helmet. “You don’t know me. You don’t know where I came from, or what I’ve done to get here. All I am to you is a bounty that went wrong. It’s not up to you to decide what I can or can’t have.” Chest heaving and fists clenched together in my lap, I stared down the Mandalorian. I was too confused to be scared of what he could do to me, too pissed off to care about his reasons.

That pendant was mine. And I wanted it back.

The Mandalorian’s blank, glassy facade didn’t move. No words, no sounds escaped his modulator. Hot waves of anger rolled off of him, anger that I didn’t understand, didn’t want to understand. The co-pilot’s seat trembled underneath me, but I wasn’t sure if the movement was his or my own.

“Give it back,” I growled, finally breaking the silence. “It’s mine.”

“No.” The rumbling baritone was tense, straining against his control. His whole body held unspeakable amounts of emotion, and he was unwilling, or unable, to let it go.

“Bastard.” I swung up from my hips, clipping the lip of his helmet smartly with my clasped fists.

He stumbled back, dropping the necklace as both hands came up to straighten his helmet. Seeing an opening, I rushed the bounty hunter, driving my left shoulder into his side and pushing him into the opposite wall. With a roar, he ducked out of my grasp, using his momentum to kick out at my knees. I dodged sideways, his boot only grazing my shins. Now off-balanced, I staggered back and tripped over my own feet. I took a nosedive, landing heavily on the pilot’s seat. The air was knocked from my lungs, and for a moment too long I was dazed. At that opportunity, the Mandalorian grabbed the back of my collar and hauled me out of the chair.

“Hrrkt!” I choked, scrabbling to loosen the stranglehold my jumpsuit currently had on my neck.

“Last time. Where. Did. You. Get. This.” With each word, the hunter shook me like a ragdoll. The calm he exuded was frightening in comparison to the violence he was promising.

“Uunrkt,” I replied.

The Mandalorian released the back of my jumpsuit, and I crumpled, catching myself on the pilot’s seat. Pressing my forehead into the roughly-woven seat cushion, I panted laboriously. Tears were streaming down my face. I sniffled loudly and wiped my nose on my sleeve before I spoke.

“That is mine. It was given to me by my caretaker.” The anger I had been feeling melted into sadness. I was tired of fighting the emotion, so I embraced it, allowing myself to finally feel. “It’s the only thing I have left.” I broke off with a sob, burying my face in my hands.

“What was his name.”

I went rigid. Names held power, even I knew that growing up where I did. But he was dead, so surely the issue was moot? At least, I hoped he was dead. The alternatives to why he never returned hurt my heart too much to bear.

“You wouldn’t’ve known him,” I said thickly.

“Try me,” the hunter said gruffly.

I couldn’t get around it now. Even if he wasn’t dead, sharing his name with one of his brethren probably wasn’t the worst thing I could do.

But, then again, if he wasn’t dead, that meant I didn’t owe him anything for leaving me behind.

“Reyn. His name was Drys Reyn.”

[unofficialkfamtranscripts]

King Falls AM - Episode 9: Jack in the Box Jesus

View on Google Docs

Summary: September 1, 2015 - An alleged sighting of the Lord & Savior at a downtown fast food restaurant has the residents of King Falls ready for deliverance, meanwhile Sammy & Ben try to navigate the flood waters of this revelation.

[podcast intro music]

Mayor Grisham Ladies and gentlemen, I promise you that while it is a terrible inconvenience that our modern electronics are out— this is not the end of the world. It could be a refreshing change of pace! Instead of reading, on your tablet, go down to the King Falls library, and check out the real thing! Instead of texting your BFF, go enjoy some pancake puppies at Rose’s! and have a face-to-face chat. This isn’t as bad as it seems— and it could be a blessing in disguise.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy Good morning guys and dolls, you’re listening to King Falls AM—

Ben —That’s 660 on the radio dial.

Sammy And this is day 13 of what has been dubbed the King Falls Electrolocaust.

Ben This has easily been the hardest two weeks of my professional career.

Sammy It has been tough, but Ben and I want to thank you, and everyone out there listening, for the continuing support of the show.

Ben We got another doozy of a show for you tonight, King Falls. During hour two, we’ll be interviewing Maria Chandler, manager of the King Falls Apple store, and speaking about the effects the shut down has had on business.

Sammy As well as fielding your calls and talking about whatever’s clever this evening.

Ben I miss computers, Sammy. I miss the schedule. Our automated systems, my alarm clock. I’ve went through three the legal pads in two weeks!

Sammy [sympathetic] I know, buddy.

Ben I would literally watch Channel 13 if given the chance.

Sammy Wow. That’s saying a lot.

Ben [softly] I need my life back.

Sammy King Falls, how are you taking the modern electronic shut down of 2015? Are you refreshed? Reliving the mid-90s? Or— are you falling apart like our dear Ben Arnold?

Ben I’d listen to boy bands, to have a working smartphone. I’d wear, puka shell necklaces and sell my pog collection,[1] if you give me five minutes with my email.

Sammy Look on the bright side, Ben. You’re spending all your free time down at the library, and I haven’t called you out on it!

Ben That’s calling me out on it.

Sammy Eh-Well- and you know it’s nice hearing the birds tweeting instead of @kingfallsam. I’m not saying I don’t miss it but, I’m enjoying this a little bit.

Ben ♫It’s tearing up my heart when I’m with yoouu♫[2]

Sammy The references are not gonna bring back your goods.

Ben [hurt] Dammit Sammy, let’s just take a call from our jury-rigged phone system.

[bg music being provided by Chet’s record player]

Sammy You’re live with Sammy and Ben.

Cynthia Yeeaah, I wanna talk about the outages.

Sammy Cynthia Higgenbaum, ladies and gents. How are you doing during this electronic crisis?

Cynthia [blissful] I feel the warm embrace of the chastity belt that’s been placed on society. I’m relieved, de-stressed, marvelous!

Ben *chuckling* Whoa, heh, that’s- that’s a heck of a change!

Cynthia [suddenly aggressive] What are you trying to say, Ben?

Sammy It’s just you’re usually- you’ve been a little… pessimistic in the past.

Cynthia [mostly calm again] Ohhh, I still have problems; I’m full up with issues. But right now, I don’t have to worry about what websites my husband is perusing, what brain-dead TV my kids are watching— I’m at peace! It’s just me and my harlequin novels. Plus, with Jesus back and all—

Ben [jokingly suggestive] 50 Shades of Cynthia

Cynthia [angrily] Don’t be filthy Ben Arnold! I Know Your Mother!

Sammy I-I’m sorry, Cynthia— did you just say that Jesus is back?

Cynthia [gossipy tone] Have you guys not heard the news?

Ben Is she talking about Jesus Jesus?

Cynthia There’s only one.

Sammy Wellll, I think Mexico would disagree, but please tell us why you think Jesus—

Cynthia [snappy] I don’t think Sammy, I know! [softer] Earlier this evening, he was spotted glowing and speaking in tongues at Jack in the Box.[3]

Ben The one off Main Street or Red Oak Avenue?

Cynthia Ew, nobody does to Red Oak.

Sammy [softly] Jack-in-the-Box-Jesus.

Cynthia Oh, Hell no! I will not participate in that blasphemy. You’re gonna get smited—

Sammy Oh, I- I mean- I wasn’t- I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to, uh—

Cynthia Tell it to Satan! In Hell, Sammy! [hangs up forcefully]

[dial tone]

Ben This is big.

Sammy [slightly reluctant] If you or someone you know has had a sighting of *clears throat, Ben laughs* Jack in the Box Jesus please give us a call. Uh, 424-279-3858

Ben You’re on King Falls AM.

Deputy Troy Now I know what you’re thinking: how could the second coming of God’s only son happen and ol’ Troy here didn’t clue you in.

Ben Not what I was thinking.

Sammy What do you know Troy?

Deputy Troy Well I got a suspicious persons call out at ol’ Yack[sic] in the Box around 9. So, I hit the lights and cruised over to see what the fuss was about. And lo and behold, back by the dumpster with a mess of people looking on— there he was.

Sammy Now, are you really telling us that— [still reluctant] you saw, or, you believe you saw the son of God and the King of Kings bangin around outside the Jack In The Box?

Deputy Troy Well, he was a man. Somebody’s son, no doubt. Bearded. Good lookin’, if-if you’re into that sort of thing. He had a robe on—

Ben [cutting in]We can solve this right now. Was he white or was he black?

Deputy Troy He was more of a greenish color. Like a glow really.

Sammy The man had an aura around him.

Deputy Troy It was shinier than a damn Fukushima foxhound, fellas. Like, I felt a need to put on the old aviators, but I- I didn’t want to be cliché.

Sammy Alright, Troy. So, work with us here; you’re in the back of the Jack in the Box, there’s a uh, a Jesus-type guy—

Deputy Troy Just-a-ramblin’ on.

Ben Speaking in— tongues?

Deputy Troy Speaking in somethin. The last time I heard gibberish like that was comin’ from the back of my Chevy with Shell Snyder’s daughter.

Sammy So what happened next?

Deputy Troy Well a group of looky-loos had descended, as I said, and since it was only me, there was no perimeter set up yet. So I start ta approach this glowing Christ and somebody— Roy Higgins if you gotta know/— hollered out “It’s Jesus!” and the whole parking lot just went bonkers!

Ben Well, di-did you speak to the guy?

Deputy Troy Damn skippy. I told Roy that this was official police biz. And he shouldn’t be squawling around like a little baby.

Ben No, Jack in the Box Jesus.

Deputy Troy Oh, well no. I- I turned around and he was gone. Split right off into the woods, I suspect.

Sammy Did you follow him?

Deputy Troy Sammy. So you’re tellin me that you’d follow a 6-foot-tall and glowing perp into the woods??

Sammy [muttered] Point taken.

Ben So any other sightings?

Deputy Troy Well, not as of yet. But there were so many people they could’a had a revival in that parkin’ lot. So I’m guessin’ that’s how word spread so quickly. And without internet, too? That’s pretty damn impressive.

Sammy Is there an APB out or anything?

Deputy Troy For what, dilly-dallying around with a jumbo jack? He wasn’t doin nothin bad. Just acting a fool— Lord forgive me— where he shouldn’t’a been.

Ben And glowing.

Deputy Troy That’s right.

Sammy Well, please let us know if get any more info on this, Troy. We’d appreciate it.

Deputy Troy You bet. I’ll be sure to keep you boys and the listenin’ public informed. But if you should happen to stumble upon Jesus? Do not approach, bother or pester. You just call up Ol’ Deputy Troy.

[hangs up]

Ben …or your local church. [dial tone]

Sammy Deputy Troy, ladies and gents. Now we’re just going to take a quick break and hear from one of our new sponsors: Carl’s Candy!

Ben Yeah I don- I don’t think we should play this

Sammy What? Ads pay the bills remember?

Ben Folks, as a workaround with all the tech issues, uh, I went out and recorded a few spots of some of our sponsors- uh, new and old. Emphasis on Old, after this one.

Sammy Okay, so the audio is bad.

Ben *sucks in breath* You could say that.

Sammy This company’s paid up! They’re scheduled in one of your many notebooks. Let’s do this. We’ll be right back folks.

[slow, creepy xylophone music]

Carl [voice is soft and creepy, like you expect from a guy who offers kids candy from the back of a van] Do you know why they call it a blow pop? I sure do. And if you come on down to Creepy Carl’s Candy, I’ll fill ya up! I mean in. [whispering] It’ll be our little secret.- A sweet tooth is a terrible thing to waste. Come find a new sugar daddy to butter your fingers at Creepy Carl’s! Come in and grab a sack of Carl’s Boston baked beans while you’re at it. Oops, one fell in my pocket. Free if you can find it! *Ben groaning “oh no”* Every child’s welcome at Creepy Carl’s, big mouths, small mouths, white mouths and brown mouths. We’re equal opportunity! And just cause they shut down the ol’ brick and mortar doe’n’t mean you can’t buy it from my van. Be sure to ask your parents’ permission first, kids. Creepy Carl’s Candy, where the suckers don’t suck themselves. [Police sirens]

Deputy Troy [through megaphone] Carl, turn off your ignition. You are too close to the school zone.

Carl I gotta go! Catch ya later [tires squealing]

Ben [desperate, in bg] The mic!

[sirens fade out]

Sammy … Never again.

Ben I tried to tell you.

Sammy I know. Let’s never speak about this.

Ben [whispering] I need a shower.

Sammy *sigh* …Moving forward, we were just talking about a sighting that happened a few hours ago around the 9 o’clock hour, just off Main Street. It seems quite a few people believe that we may be experiencing a religious phenomenon. Perhaps the second coming of–

Ben [slightly gruff impression] “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years!”[4]

Sammy *chuckles* Right, let’s go to the phone lines.

Ben [happily] That was good though right?

Sammy It was good. Good evening, you’re live on King Falls AM.

Reverend Hawthorne Ask and ye shall receive! King Falls-uh. It is the gooD Reverend Xavier “Right. With. Gaawwd-uh” Hawthorne.

Ben Reverend Hawthorne? Are you back in town?

Reverend Hawthorne [speaking over Ben] The One and Only, and we are turnin’ the wagons arounD as we speaK-uh. And we’re headin’ back to my flocK-uh. How’re y’all feelin’ tonighT, King Falls- I said How are you, Feelin’!

Sammy [softly] We’re feeling alright.

Reverend Hawthorne Praise GoD-uh! Hallelujah! Now a little birdie, uh-just chirp’n on my shoulder, told me there was a SighTing. A Vision. Dare I say it, eyeballs were laid on our Lord and Saviour at a burger joint in our fair city.

Sammy Yeah, about 9 o’clock here.

Reverend Hawthorne Could it Be-uh! that our 5-week-revival worked. Could it Be-uh! that our prayers have been brought forth the lamb of God-uh. Can I get an amen!

Ben Reverend Hawthorne we—

Reverend Hawthorne Amen! This miracle-uh, this sight from our God-uh, perched on a Mountain of Sanctity, says that he is ready to lead-uh, his most Highly Favored, Congregation bacK to the promised land. Gimme some organ, Deacon Reggie [organ music begins playing in bg]

Sammy [aside] Do you think Reggie has to wheel that thing around just in case?

Ben This is getting good.

Reverend Hawthorne Play it dirty, brother. We are going Home-uh. Take us back to Calvary, take us BACK-uh! … Samuel, Benjamin may I ask you gentlemen if you have a relationship-uh with the Author of the E-ternal Sal-vation; [organ goes silent] [softly] are ya saved?

Sammy I’m—

Reverend Hawthorne Then let me tell y’all, [organ starts again] because if you aren’t-uh, I’m coming back to town. One weekend only, the Xavier “Right with GoD-uh” Hawthorne Experience will be wheelin’ bacK into King Falls Fairgrounds this very night-uh. We are hoping to get One- On- One with the Risen Christ and start preparin’ for Kingdom Come. But just like old Xavier, you gotta come on down-uh so we can get you TurnT uP With GoD-uh. [click, dial tone]

Sammy Xavier? Hello?

Ben He’s, gone. Sammy.

Sammy Well, you heard it here first folks. Xavier Hawthorn’s Travelling Roadshow is coming back to town. Will Jack in the Box Jesus make his stage debut?

Ben [muttering] Tch- Jesus.

Sammy Literally.

Ben Do you think we could get an interview? Would it be Mr. Christ? Or-

Sammy Something tells me that there is something more to the story than what we’ve heard so far, Ben.

Ben Tsk. I get that, but this is King Falls, Sammy.

Sammy What a perfect place to make a return: a rinky-dink town with no internet.

Ben Line- [muttered] dammit, there’s only one line. Uh, you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Archie Good evenin’ fellas!

[small dogs barking in bg]

Sammy Is thi-

Archie It’s Archie Simmons!

Ben He-ey Archie, how’s Princess Von Barktooth?

Archie Well, I do have news concernin’ the princess, and I just want to possibly recant some info from our previous call a few weeks back.

Sammy About the werewolves?

Archie Correct.

Sammy Wow. I mean, you sounded pretty convinced that you saw a werewolf.

Archie And now I’m saying that maybe I was misinformed.

Sammy I think you should probably tell Troy and the Sheriff’s Office, Archie.

Archie *giggles* You silly Sally, Troy’s on his way over now

Ben Why the change of heart, Archie?

Archie Well, new information has come to light boys, I mean with the Divine One making his triumphant, and let’s be honest, dramatic return to King Falls.

Sammy You’re talking about the glowing man at the Jack in the Box?

Archie [softly] Let’s be real here, it’s the J-Man, of course a heavenly carpenter would pick King Falls. So many projects to keep busy with.

Sammy [dryly] Uh-huh.

Archie Plus, with the princess and this new information, we have to believe this.

Ben You keep saying that, what’s going on with the princess Archie?

Archie She’s in a delicate condition.

Sammy Oh, of course. I mean she’s been through a lot.

Archie *giggles* No Sammy, I mean she’s with child. Ch-children. Puppies? There’s a bun in my $2400 oven boys!

Sammy Wait. She’s pregnant? From the werewolf attack?!

Archie [softly again] Well, that’s the thing. While I believed in my heart of hearts that the hillbilly beast from the trailer park had gotten to the princess, I think…

Ben What. What do you think Archie?

Archie I mean it was dark, I know it was a full moon but I was scared and recently awakened, sleep in my eyes etc. and so on.

Sammy You don’t think it was the werewolves.

Archie I’m thinking with this new evidence and the fact that I saw a long-haired, bearded man in a Biblical Act— Yeah I-I- I think- there’s a chance it could have been [whispering] the man upstairs.

Ben [stern] Upstairs from whom?

Archie Mankind! Come on Ben, get with the picture!

Sammy He’s saying that because there’s been a holy sighting tonight- which we should all be a little bit doubtful of- then maybe it wasn’t the werewolves, but the Alpha and the Omega.

Ben No! NO WA- That’s too much, Archie. You saw the werewolf. He looked you in the eye and howled at the moon.

Archie I don’t know what kind of weird things Jesus is into.

Ben No way. This is ludicrous.

Archie You just wait and see Ben! The princess may have lost her Westminster dreams, but it was all part of God’s plan.

Ben We’ve got to go Archie *laughs* you’re crossing a line that we cannot cross at King Falls AM.

Archie Judge Not, lest ye be judged boys. Kardashians[sic] 3:16 or a Psalm or something. I think Troy’s coming around the bend anyways boys, laters!

[click, dial tone]

Sammy You know? When I walk in the door every night I say to myself, “Nothing’s gonna surprise me tonight” And more times than not, I am just Dead Wrong.

Ben Let’s give the phone a rest for a moment, Sammy, the record player is just begging to be used.

Sammy *chuckles* Not a bad idea Ben.

[phone pings]

Ben What? *gasps* My phone! [several pings] OHH it’s back baby!

Sammy Me too! What’s going on?

[pinging continues]

Ben What’s up! Oh my God, I could literally kiss the apparition of Steve Jobs.

Sammy Hey, I’ve got a text here, Unknown Number.

Ben Okay, what does it say?

Sammy “I- I know why this happened. I know how to stop it. We need to talk“

Ben What?

Sammy No, that’s what the text said.

Ben You don’t think this has anything to do with… Thank You, Jesus.

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References:

[1] Pogs - Pogs, generically called milk caps, is a game that was popular among children during the early-mid 1990s. The name pog originates from POG, a brand of juice made from passionfruit, orange, and guava; the use of POG bottle caps to play the game preceded the game's commercialization.

[2] “It’s tearin’ up my heart when I’m with you” - Lyrics to the song “Tearin’ Up My Heart” by NSYNC, an American boy band from the mid-90s

[3] Jack in the Box - American fast food chain, primarily along the west coast and southern states.

[4] “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years” - lyrics to the song “Mama Said Don’t Knock You Out” by LL COOL J (also came out in the 90s)

[theskyandsea]

Gold at the End of the Galaxy

New on AO3! 1/10 Chapters, updates every Monday

feat. Arthur and Eames as Space Pirates, bonkers facts about space, falling in love, treasure hunting, and much more!

Big thanks to @ladyvaderpixetc for tireless cheerleading!

Also! This is the story I posted an excerpt from on a @earlgreytea68 post ages ago!

Chapter One:

It is always night in space.

It is so black colours glimmer like mirages — an oil slick on the asphalt of the universe. Deep purples and blues in pockets of deeper nothing. If you’re awake too long, brighter colours come out to play tricks on you — pinks and yellows and greens in bands across the vastness in front of you.

Always night, and when you’re pulling every shift as the only crew member left on a three person ship, the exhaustion can turn empty space into a psychedelic dreamscape.

Arthur rubbed at his eyes and a system of stars danced behind them. He peered out at a  flash of blue out the window. It was a hazy glow, and if it wasn’t a product of his sleeplessness, it was too far away for his radar to pick it up. Possibly, with as close as he was getting to the edge of the Milky Way, it was a massive star on the edge of the Andromeda, blinking at him from 2 million light years away.

He reached down to the console to grab another energy bar and came up with nothing.

He pulled the bag away from the velcro keeping it in place and looked inside. It was empty. He swore and threw it away from himself, which was pretty unsatisfying as the bag was too light to go anywhere and just drifted gently around the console. He sighed and grabbed it before it could tangle in anything important.

Taking a look at his radar to be sure there was nothing in his way for the next few minutes, he set the computer to autopilot and took a breath.

He was on the run, being pilot and engineer and captain all at once to keep the ship moving forward, away from the explosions of the last job Cobb had gotten them into. Space piracy, while lucrative, was dangerous, made more dangerous with an unstable partner in crime. And now that Cobb had fucking left him to deal with the fallout on his own, he hadn’t had time for anything as non-essential as rest in days.

He was out of warp now and had put a quarter of a galaxy between him and Nash. The distance was enough to allow a bit of relaxation, especially since he knew Nash expected him to get lost on one of the planets, as Cobb had taught him.

But Cobb wasn’t there.

He unbuckled from his seat, stretched, and looked around. He hadn’t left the bridge in days, and it was very obvious. A bunch of energy bar wrappers were clustered together above his head, the residue on the inside sticking them together. His normally pristine white flight suit was covered in smears and sweat, and it clung to him in uncomfortable places.

He gathered up the trash and paused by the side of the airlock. With three people, the ship usually felt cramped. Alone, it was too big, with lots of space for bad memories to settle in. With more than a little trepidation, Arthur left the bridge. The harsh fluorescent lights of the passageways flickered to life, flooding the corridor with light. All of space was timeless but nothing was more timeless than the inside of a ship. Nothing had changed. He half expected Cobb to float by with a new job he wanted to run by him.

Cobb had said that Mal haunted the ship. Arthur hadn’t believed him at the time (he hadn’t had the luxury to, too busy trying to keep them alive), but he could sure feel his missing crew with him now.

Pieces of trash floated out of his bag as he moved towards the garbage compactor, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He shoved the rest of it into the compactor and went in search of better food than energy bars.

He pulled open the pantry. A little stack of dehydrated food, enough to last a week, a week and a half if he was careful, was all that was left of the year’s worth of supplies they’d picked up a month ago.

There was a sticky note attached to one of the empty shelves. Sorry, it said. There was a sad face drawn next to it.

Arthur ripped it off the shelf. “ God fucking damn you Cobb, I hope you run out of fuel and die!” His voice echoed weirdly around the empty walls. He crumpled the note.

He thought of Cobb quickly shoving food and water packets into a bag, making plans to leave Arthur on his own and wanted to cry.

He let himself take one shaky breath and pushed down the emotions. If he only had a week of food left and wanted to lie low, he would have to be careful and find something to rob. A small ship, possibly, or an outpost. Which would mean turning around. After days of trying to put as much space between his and Cobb’s last fuck-up.

There were no colonies this far out. Some reaches had never seen a human, the only exploration done by ancient probes. There were no proper stars here, only the occasional massive hunk of lifeless rock left over from star deaths millions of years ago.

He closed the pantry doors. If he didn’t have much food, he could wait for dinner. He pulled his moleskin and pencil out of his pocket and flipped to his notes of outpost coordinates, trying to find something near enough.

Above him, the ship’s proximity alarm went off, warning Arthur that the ship was within 30,000km of a large planetary body, risking being pulled into orbit. He rushed back to the bridge.

A dark mass was filling the side window. Arthur turned off the auto-pilot and upped the speed, fast enough that they would avoid orbit and just pass by.

He drifted above the surface in silence, the only sound the engines and the radar pinging softly to let him know how far he was above the surface.

At 6,000km above, the planet filled the side and main window. As he passed and the planet rotated, a blue glow began to form in the atmosphere. It lit up the black ground, turning it into a jagged glittering landscape. Arthur let out a small gasp despite himself. It was a diamond planet, mountain ranges bursting up like shards of glass, low clouds of shimmering blue gas blowing around, beautiful and likely deadly. In the centre of it all was the source —a massive diamond volcano, pumping out great blue clouds of sulphur dioxide.

He watched the planet until he could no longer see it in the window. Then, he left the diamond planet behind and started searching for nearby outposts.

Space, in reality, is both a noun and an adjective. Out in the black, especially on the far edge of the galaxy, it is the lack of anything that weighs on you, like you can feel the phantom pull of orbit in a system you’re no longer a part of.

He drummed his fingers on the edge of the console as the computer sorted through the database of scientific outposts. Arthur was not overjoyed at the prospect of robbing a bunch of scientists — he wasn’t particularly picky, but he generally preferred his marks to be a little more unsavoury than a bunch of grad students working on their thesis'.

Now that he had passed the diamond planet, he could see a tiny dot of gold somewhere out in front of him. It was barely a pinprick, but he thought it might be getting bigger.

The computer dinged. There were few research stations in this part of the galaxy, with the closest being at least four days flying behind him, and there was no guarantee it would even be stocked with food.

It was entirely possible that he was the only person in this section of space.

The radar pinged. Just him, and whoever was in the ship ahead.

Out the window, the pinprick of gold had turned into a cylinder, and was resolving itself into a ship.

A ship was good. A ship he could work with. A ship would be stocked and smaller than an outpost, and he and Cobb had had enough of a reputation that he could probably commandeer it without too much force or backup. After all, he was Arthur, legendary pirate scourge, best strategist this arm of the galaxy, millions stored in off-world accounts. He was a force to be reckoned with, even alone.

He pushed the speed up a little more and set his course.

As the ship grew closer and closer, he realised what it was he was looking at. The hull was entirely golden, rippling with layers and layers of fragile solar foil, the sort that had been used in the early age of space exploration. Along one side there were makeshift repairs in a strange brown metal, but he could still make out a giant painted M.

“Holy shit,” said Arthur, “It’s the Midas Ship."

[stinkyratshadowgod]

Crazy Storyline Apex Theory

(P.s: I’m reposting because Tumblr F*CKING ate my first post)

Okay in the trailer for the new event “Lost Treasures”, we see at the end that in Mila (in some way) spoke to Crypto through his drone, saying “Tae, it’s me. Be carefull! they’re watching you”. Naturally i was going to joke “Haha Mila is going to be the next Apex Legends next season lmao”. But then i stopped and thought more about it, and instead of making a joke, i decided to write a theory about why is that plausible and it’s going to be the next storyline (or maybe...this storyline)

Okay what do we know about Mila? Not much actually, she and Tae found a prediction algorithm that is directly related to the Apex Games (but we don’t know who made that and the real purpose), and then she saves it in a pen drive, leaves and is found “dead” next morning, with her brother being blamed as the killer

I know that this isn’t a lot to work with, but i think it’s enough to cook something. The name of my plate (aka theory) is “Apex is going to pull up a Winter Soldier and make Mila a brainwashed soldier (or expert Hacker) from Hammond”. You better enjoy it while it is still hot

1-Mila is still alive

Ok so why do i believe that? It’s because i believe that Mila is actually alive (even tho it’s a schrodinger cat paradox situation because shes alive and dead at the same at, and we will only know the real result when Respawn pulls her out of the “box”).

My evidences is that 1-The new trailer (lol) and 2-Shes actually pretty usefull: Shes a hacker, a good one, she was the one (with the help of Tae) to unlock the prediction programm, and she developed the system that unlock it (or at least had the knowledge that the system she found online would help unlock the algorithm). And because shes connected to the biggest hacker of the outlands, so perhaps they are going to use her to blackmail Crypto to stop going after the truth.

Respawn never explained how the brothers found the algorithm, but whatever the case is, if the sindicate would go out of their way to “eliminate” Mila and then go after her brother (but we know that this time they wanted for real kill Crypto) that must mean that the prediction algorithm must be really important, and we know why:

2-Season 4 (and the Override event)

Hammond had great interest in the Apex Games in the start of Season 4, and so they made a deal with the AG, and so Hammod brought us 1-Revenant (the best decision ever i love him but i better stop or else i will write a full essay on why i love Rev); 2-The evo shield (at least i headcannon that the evo shields are a Hammond creation in order to please the Legends), but in return they would build the planet harvester and do some promotion...it’s just me that thinks that a big company especialized in robotics (and titans) would only bring a harvester and do a propaganda to show that their hip and cool?

Even the harvester is a little weird, because: 1-The Apex Games takes ages after Titanfall 2 campaign (10 years i belive), and the war is over, so the need of building Titans wouldn’t be very necessary, yeah they can be used as heavy machinery in hazardous jobs, but the main use of the titans was military, and they already use MRVNS units to replace humans. I know that building robots and guns requires a lot of materials, but the harvester seems like a little bit of a overkill, also are we even sure that they are collecting materials for the robots? (which brings me to my next point)

2-What the heck is the planet harvester even harvesting?  By the looks of the big lazer, it looks like they are actually harvesting the core of the world edge’s planet (idk if it’s also sucking materials for robots and guns, but you never see pieces of scraps flying up with the lazer, and we don’t see a storage thing to store the minerals)

I believe the real reason that Hammond is so interested in the Apex Games is actually because of 2 mf’s: 1-Revenant (since he was killing all the Hammonds workers and those connected to the simulacrum project) and 2-Crypto, since hes the one going after their tail, and Hammond knows that Crypto has the actual powers to be a real problem to them, so they partner up with the Apex Games just to keep a closer eye to Tae Joon (and Revenant but who can blame them Rev is a real eye treat).

(Side point: While i was writting this theory, i remembered a critical point of the Override event...the rewards, the rewards you got when you gained points, and in the points reward’s menu, we see this:

At first we thought this was Rev doing, but when you think about, it doesn’t make a lot of sense since Revenant doesn’t give a crap about helping people, he just wants to kill (go you, you funky lil robot), and when you think more about it, hes couldn’t pull that off since hes not a computer specialist. The only character that could this is Crypto, but Tae A)Already knows that Hammond cannot be trusted or B)He coudn’t have predicted the partnership. My point is, Crypto also didn’t left the message (cuz it would be weird leaving a message about something that seems obivious to yourself). So the only one remaining is...Mila Mila is somewhere in the Outlands (maybe she escaped or she sneakily sended the message through the place she is being held) sending messages to Crypto.

2.5-The bunkers

You know whats weirder than The Planet Harvester? The underground holes (bunker? vaults? Its hard to use these words since they’re already taken) introduced in Season 5. In the trailer they looked like bunkers that you could open at any moment (like a trapdoor). In the release of season 5 the first thing i saw youtubers do is try to open the bunkers, they failed, and then they tried to use Loba (and they would usually fail and fall to their death, which was funny content). So i thought “Okay, maybe it’s going to be like Fortnite and with each week they are going to open one by one (and yes i play Fortnite casually, it’s actually a great and fun game), and nothing. So i ask “What is the purpose of those trapdoors?”

In the trailer of the new event, after Mila talked with Crypto through the Drone, it showed us a underground bunker opening, perhaps it’s Mila, or at least a secret base that Mila used to send Crypto the messages to warn him about Hammond. Whatever the case is, i strongly believe thats it’s going to be something related to Mila

3-The artifact and the “broken ghost”

The name “broken ghost” is actually a weird name for something that has something to with Loba, sure you can say “It actually refers to something that is going to be used against Revenant” or “It’s actually something that we are going to use to bring back Ash from the Titanfall 2 campaign” and while yes that can be the case (especially the Ash theory) i actually believe that what we’re building is a universal locator, a locator used to locate everything and everyone in the outlands. You may be asking “...okay...why?” And i tell you: “The legends don’t live together”

On what i mean by that: In a tweet sended by Tom Casiello, he told us that the legends don’t live in the dropship or in a big house like housemates  (even tho i decided that in my heart they are one big family of friends living together in a mansion, with each one of them having a room with their themes). And in the Chapter 4 of the storyline, it’s revealed that Bangalore and Lifeline live in diferent houses.

Where i am going with this is: Crypto is still living like a nomad, always running (and he even says in one of the elimination lines [“Sometimes you get tired of running, I understand, but you can't ever stop."], thus showing that even in the Apex games, hes running from the sindicate, the people who got his sister and now is after him, but as we can see, they still didn’t got him. Hammond could be building a robot (since the artifact [currently] looks like a skull, which spookes me a lil bit) that could pinpoint the exact location of Crypto and finally capture him.

Now for the most bonker part of this theory: They brainwashed Mila and turned her into a winter soldier

As i already said, Mila is actually pretty useful, not only because of her smarts, but because of the advantage that using someone that Crypto is closely familiar with could bring his downfall. So heres what i concluding: Mila gets brainwashed by Hammond in order to have someone to be a strong match against the best hacker of all the outlands and get rid of a big threat.

You may be asking “How?” and for that, i call my favorite boy:

4-Revenant (also yes this is a excuse to talk more about my main)

Rev doesn’t need a introduction, but heres one anyway: He was a hitman that at some point has died, so Hammond used his still somewhat salvageable brain to put it in a Simulacrum (in which i headcannon that at the same time they were also experimenting with some supernatural elements, but thats a theory for another day). after 200 years, during a hitjob he found out about who he really was and now here we are...do i need to say more?...really? Okay then: Hammond showed that they can brainwash simulacrums for an extensive period of time (200+ years i believe) in order to make them believe that they are actually human (even tho climbing a 15 store building, turning into a shadow and stabbing people with hands isn’t very...human). So in Rev backstory (and in the simulacrum lore) Hammond shows that they have the capacity to brainwash brains since the simulacrums are in a way cyborgs, being 99% robot and 1% human (that would be the brain btw). So using these techniques on a human would be very easy (i think?, i don’t know a lot of Simulacrums cuz they’re not real)

5-”THE broken ghost”

I want to touch upon is the name “The Broken Ghost”, i know that people believe that it’s actually Ash from Titanfall 2 (because spoilers she died), but don’t you think it’s weird that even 10 years after the main campaign, they couldn’t bring Ash back? I know that Simulacrums are diferent from robots, but couldn’t they just repaired Ash? And to answer myself: No. You see Simulacrums have an internal brain that is used to datastore information, but Rev is a special boy cuz hes handsome and his storage system is external, so in another words, when she died in the explosion caused by when a Titan is destroyed (or worse if you did an execution on her), her brain was destroyed, thus meaning that there is absolutely no way to bring her back. And yes, i just debunked the theories about how Ash is actually the broken ghost. Speaking of ghosts, that brings me on another point

6-Revenants and Ghosts

I wanna talk briefly about real life urban legends. First the Revenant myth is that a phisical deceased person who returns from the dead with an eternal rage for revenge, they are strong, smart and imortal, only leaving the world of the living when his thirst of revenge is sated (which fits very well for our baby boy Rev from Apex Legends)

And the Ghost is a spiritual deceased person who starts haunting the world of the living, sending chills down the spines of those who looks at them.

While yes their backstories are similar, their main diferences is that Revenants are corporial, and ghosts are spiritual, aka, Ghosts have the ability to dissapear and make people wonder if what they saw was real or not. Sounds familiar? If not, let me spell out for you: Mila. In the Crypto’s backstory, she suddenly dissapeared from Tae’s life, even in a surreal way since his life suddenly came crashing down overnight. And even better: If she was truly the broken ghost and got introduced in the Apex Games next season, that would really mess with Crypto’s brain, cuz his paranoia would make him wonder if his sister was back for real or not.

7-”Hold up”

-Said the handsome reader, scratching their brain (and yes i write fanfics)-”What does that mean for the future of Apex Legends and the storyline?”. I look at them, with the fire of knowledge burning through my eyes-“Let me tell you about the Winter Soldier movie from Marvel”

One key element from the Winter Soldier is that he was being brainwashed by Hidra (a Marvel version of the Nazis) and Bucky Barnes would transform into a emotionless killing machine, ready to kill the next target or those who got in his/Hidra’s way. But one thing that would turn him back into a normal human is his best friend Captain America, that through his pursue and persistence, by the end of the movies he saves Bucky from the brainwash trance and later movies he becomes Captain’s ally (and my OTP don’t @ me)

So if everything i talked about here is correct, heres what i think it’s going to happen: By the end of the storyline, it’s going to be revealed that Mila is alive, but she has been brainwashed by Hammond to kill Crypto. Even tho hes the main target and it would go against his better judgement, hes going to try save Mila from the brainwash trance, and not only that, hes going to use the help of Mirage. “Mirage?”-Asked the reader-”What the heck does Mirage have to do with an complicated story about family reunion, betrayl, saving someone from brainwash and fighting against a evil corporation?” and for that, i call Tom Casiello yet again (and a piece of Tae’s past):

8-Mirage, Casiello and a letter

In a early Season 5 tweet, Casiello confirmed that Mirage and Crypto’s story is far from done, and they would have many misadventures together, and while everybody (myself included) read it as Cryptage fuel, now i can confirm that Crypto is going to need Mirage’s help to make Mila remember who she was. You ask again ”But why Mirage?”, well, while i was researching Crypto’s page on the wiki, i found a peculiar letter that he sent for someone: “[Mystik -- I survived my first match, with only two broken ribs. Being as safe as I can, and keeping my distance. Unfortunately, the others are already asking about the Tower. The one Legend you love confronted me on the dropship. I thought he had evidence, but it turns out he’s just an idiot.There are two others here who are BIG guys. Like your son. Very intimidating. I’m sure one’s a sociopath, but I may have judged the other too soon. His name is Makoa Gibraltar, and he’s here to help Legends survive. I always chalked the Games up to neanderthals trying to prove something. Turns out some of them have a strong code of ethics. Ironically, the only neanderthal I’ve met trying to prove something… is me. Burn this letter as soon as you receive it. Will write when I can. Family forever. --TJP]” (https://apexlegends.gamepedia.com/Crypto)

Now you’re wondering “what the heck is that letter? Who is “Mystik” ”, and according to the wiki, Mystik is Crypto and Mila’s former caretakers at Ticacek Orphanage in Suotamo, aka the closest person they had to a parent. And in the letter, Crypto knows that Mirage is Mystik’s favorite legends, showing that him, Mila and their caretaker watched the Apex Games together

Thats where Mirage comes in: Crypto is going to use Mirage’s handsome and familiar face to remind Winter Soldier Mila the past, and then try to deactivate the brainwash (and headcannon, we are going to visit Angel City (the place where Mila and Tae used to live together) and collect parts of Crypto’s past and then bring it back to try make Mila remember who she was, but the FBI and Hammond is going to stop the legends)

Oh, and before you leave, ask yourself this: “How can a ghost get broken?”, now, instead of trying to find an answer, i’ll be kind enough to respond it to you (you’re welcome ;) ): Mila is the ghost that Hammond broke and put it together into Winter Soldier Mila, and then Crypto is going to have to break the ghost again to put back the right pieces

(I wanna thank everybody that somehow read everything, i do apologize if broke my english in some parts, it’s not my first language, also i would appreciate if yall could share my theory. It’s because i worked so hard on it, and it’s probably only going to receive like 10 likes and 3 reblogs. Also if you have a piece of information that could be considered important for my theory, please do let me know)

part 2 here

[purplesurveys]

821

When was the last time you held a puppy? This is crazy timely. My mom brought home a puppy and surprised us all just a few hours ago! He’s a beagle and we’ve named him Cooper. I’m honestly a little more stressed than excited because 1) I’ve never cared for a puppy before and now I’m stressing out over vaccinations, vitamins, dog food, etc, 2) Cooper has proven to be a bit of a biter, and 3) so far Kimi is extremely afraid of the new situation and he jumps when Cooper gets too close – Kimi’s 12 and doesn’t jump anymore, so that is saying a lot. If anyone has any tips on how to make two dogs like each other or at least not kill one another while they’re in the same room, please let me know because ya girl’s at a loss :( What kind of operating system does your computer have? My laptop is operating on macOS. Who was the last person to make you genuinely smile? My dad. Cooper is meant to be a Father’s Day gift for him, so the way his whole face lit up when we brought Cooper to him absolutely made my day today. Are you good at telling when people are lying to you? Yeah. Most people have certain tics and can’t look at me straight in the eye. Last time you slept out on a couch? April, I think.

Was the person that last slept over at your house a boy or girl? Girl. It’s been a while, too. I’m usually the one sleeping over at her place. Who's name first comes to mind that starts with the letter "P"? Pia. I went to high school with her, but she’s a good casual friend so I still keep in touch with her. When did you last cut your finger nails and or toe nails? Last month for both. My toenails are still short but my fingernails have gotten a bit too long now, but tbh I wanna see how long they get before it bothers me haha so I’m not clipping them for now.

Would you say that your 2010 is starting off well? 2010 definitely started off well but it went downhill as fast as possible. It’s my least favorite year because my two best friends settled abroad, leaving me alone; my mental health started going completely bonkers by that year; and my mom was then carrying out the stress from her then-job towards her kids. Do you have any kind of jewelry on at the moment? Nopes. Would you say you use "lol" too often? Yes, even though I’m not actually laughing. It’s since evolved to make a sentence sound less harsh or mean, and I usually use ‘lol’ for that purpose now. If I genuinely laughed out loud at something, I’d type out a capitalized, stretched-out LOOOOOOOL. Which is better, facebook or myspace? I never experienced Myspace and Facebook is sucky, so neither. I stay on the latter for the memes and to be connected with relatives living abroad, but that’s it. Are you more of a dog person or cat person? Dog.

Have you ever felt an earthquake? Yeah, lots of them. They’ve all been very light though and the only reason I noticed them is because I had been sitting very still in bed or on the couch. When was the last time you vacuumed a room? I’ve never done that; my mom prefers to do the cleaning around the house.

What was the last concert you were at? Paramore, two years ago. What kind of pants do you have on? I have shorts on. I haven’t worn pants in a couple of weeks, and before that I hadn’t worn pants in three months. You can only shop at one store for the rest of your life, what store is it? The grocery. Gots to be practical. What is the third website you went to in your history? Know Your Meme. HAHA I wanted to know the context of a particular meme from Spongebob so I looked it up. Why is your lucky number your lucky number? I don’t believe in lucky numbers. I don’t even have a favorite number.

What is the last meat product you ate? Pork. I didn’t pay as much attention to dinner because I was fixated on the puppy. My dad’s cooking was great as always though. Have you ever donated to a cause? Yes. Sometimes, groups that are oppressed, such as maltreated factory workers from shitty corporations, would visit in the middle of a class lecture and talk about their experiences re: not being paid, being forced to work in unsafe conditions, and some will pass a box around where we can put in money to help them out; I’ve definitely donated to some of them. Would you say you're a generally well liked person? I wouldn’t use ‘well-liked.’ People just don’t fuck with me because I can be pretty stoic, and also because there’s no dirt to dig up about me anyway. How many pets currently live in your house hold? Two, now. What's something you'd like but you can't afford? I uhhhh technically can’t afford anything right now because I’m not getting an allowance and I also don’t have a job lol. How many of hours of sleep do you get a night? 5-6. My body clock suffered a bit when I got sick a few weeks ago because I kept waking up through the night then. Before my fever I slept 8-10 hours every night, but my body refuses to go back to that routine now. Does anyone have your heart at the moment? Yup. QUICK! What's on your mind right now? I started thinking of Gabie because of the last question; but I’m also still stressed over my two dogs not getting along. Pepsi Vs Cola - What's your choice? I don’t like soda. Are you watching TV right now? If so - what's on? I’m not. The living room TV is on, but I think it’s one of my siblings playing the PS4.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #492

Top Ten Team 17 Games

I’d already been thinking a lot about old Amiga games this week, because news came out of the blue that some kind of Zool update was on its way. Now, I really liked Zool back in the day, and I thought that it was fondly remembered, but if the comment section on that Eurogamer article is anything to go by, I seem to be in the minority. I don’t care; Zool rocked and I’m glad he’s on his way back, with his sticky hands and feet and gloriously sugar-coated levels. Frankly, in a world that seems mostly populated by people who spent the entire 1990s playing Metroid or Zelda, I could do with an Amiga renaissance.

This was exacerbated when I discovered that Team 17, beloved purveyor of 16-bit computer classics, has an office in Media City. Quite how this passed me by I do not know (I, er, guess I just didn’t see the Tweets), but all the same it’s very good news; perhaps I’ll stop some of them in the piazza and bore them about the good old days. Especially if they’re, like, 25 or something.

Anyway! All this is a boring preamble to me listing my ten favourite Team 17 games. If you don’t remember, T17 was a major player on the Amiga: tons of classic games, phenomenal graphics, and – something I didn’t quite appreciate properly at the time – a nice Northern sense of humour. I don’t want to do much more preamble, because really I wanna let the games do the talking. One thing I will say, however, is I’ve taken advantage of their more recent moves as a publisher to include some games that they didn’t develop too – because I do feel like they’re really good at picking publishing projects that reflect the core tenets of their “brand”, such as it is (as opposed to Core tenets, which is probably something to do with Chuck Rock).

So here we go: my ten favourite Team 17 games. Enjoy! And bring them all out on the Xbox.

Alien Breed: Tower Assault (1994): the Alien Breed games were almost platform-defining, atmospheric blastathons that evoked the tension and exhilaration of Aliens, with superb (and difficult!) twitchy gameplay. Tower Assault, with its less linear, more explorative gameplay, was the best of the bunch. Back in the day, this was the equivalent of a Mass Effect or BioShock to me: an intense action game coupled with an enjoyable amount of back-and-forth. One thing I’ve always been a bit sad about is never having played the 3D Alien Breed games; I graduated to PC just as they were coming out, and I’m not even certain if they ran on an ordinary A1200. I wonder what they’d be like to play nowadays…?

Worms World Party (2001): how do you differentiate between the Worms games? I mean, I’m old enough to remember the “Total Wormage” demo that marked the first appearance of the little critters. But there was a point there when the gimmicks were still new, but they’d had a couple of releases under their belt, and there was a short run of games that were utterly hilarious, gameplay out the yazoo, and still a slight air of rough-edged weirdness. Can you still get the Yorkshire “Tykes” voice set in new Worms games? I mean, the formula is still unbeatable, but the Golden Age of Worms will be the World Party era for me, when my brother and I played it all the blinkin’ time. Get under that.

Assassin (1992): if Zool was the Amiga’s Sonic, then arguably Assassin was the platform’s equivalent to Strider or Shinobi (er, despite those games actually being released on the Amiga; never mind, just go with me on this). I remember the game mostly for its acrobatic movement, allowing you to climb walls (hey, shades of Zool again!); also, you had a boomerang, which is really cool, apart from when they re-released the game after two years and got rid of the boomerang. Basically, I really dug it for a lot of reasons. I also think it’s the Team 17 game which had an hilarious spoof of the “Reg” ads for Regal cigarettes, a joke I thought was incredibly clever thirty years ago but which I can find no evidence of on the internet.

Body Blows (1993): back when Street Fighter II ruled the world, and everyone was going gaga over the Super Nintendo, the Amiga suffered in comparison; it couldn’t do the multiple parallax layers of animated backgrounds, and most common joysticks didn’t have the button configurations to do the special moves justice. Step up Body Blows, a gorgeous, chunky, responsive fighter that’s still probably my favourite beat-em-up (I’m not the biggest fan of the genre, to be honest). One of the few games I remember really trying really hard to complete it, but I’m pretty sure I never saw the final opponent (some kind of Terminator-style robot, if I remember right). I always wanted the sequel, but never played it.

Yooka-Laylee (2017): feels a bit of a cheat, as this is really a Playtonic game, but they published the physical release, so it counts! And in many ways the cheeky British sensibility of the game fits right into the T17 ethos. I remember getting so excited for this game – I backed it on Kickstarter, in fact – and it didn’t disappoint: a colourful, meaty-looking platformer with a nice line in terrible dad jokes and a slowly-unfolding roster of abilities. It might not quite coalesce the way the old Rare platformers did in the late nineties, but it’s still fun; and it was a very popular game in our house with my wife and daughters.

Superfrog (1993): would probably be higher, as it’s thought of as one of the classics, but it didn’t quite hook me the way it seemed to everyone else. But even back then I could see everything about it that worked even if I didn’t fall in love; a beautiful, colourful world, with a tremendously designed lead character who looked like he’d leaped from a Cosgrove Hall cartoon. It also had a pretty naughty sense of humour. All in all, a good game, and one I’d love to revisit with a more refined palate.

Overcooked (2016): I think I first started to fall in love with this game when I saw it on Go 8-Bit; an anarchic and crazy-looking multiplayer fun-fest. And, sure enough, it’s a delightfully chaotic experience, really funny, with colourful and nicely-designed characters. However, it loses points for being one of those games that give you an odd-numbered Achievement. Multiples of five, people! Multiples of five!

Arcade Pool (1994): this one feels a bit niche, but I loved this back in the day. After the full-3D polygon wonderment of the Archer McClean pool and snooker games, going back to a simplified top-down aesthetic might have felt like a step back, but for me it was an excellent and really, really fun pool game. It’s the sort of experience I’ve chased in years since – a totally hassle-free arcade pool game – but nothing’s quite scratched the same itch (or, at least, the itch I remember, if that makes sense).

Golf With Your Friends (2020): the most recent game on the list, and another one that’s just damn fun. A wild and rather weird crazy golf game, with a succession of increasingly-bonkers courses, but one that’s easy to get into and – yes – persistently entertaining. I started playing it due it being available for cloud streaming on Game Pass, and it’s a pretty good phone game, even if the touch controls don’t give quite the nuance needed for some of the trickier shots. Also it’s worth saying that I am just terrible at the game. Really, the worst.

Project-X (1992): a bit like Superfrog, this is a game I respected rather than adored, hence it being a bit lower on the list. I think the big problem is just that I was utterly shit at it; I mean, I was flat-out rubbish at all these side-scrolling shooters, even if I really wanted to be good. But this game was a stunner way back when, and I think one of the ones that really cemented Team 17’s reputation as a graphical powerhouse of a studio. It also had a tremendous score from Allister Brimble, T17’s resident maestro. It’s funny, because I remember this as being heralded as “the new masterpiece from Team 17” upon its release, but it was actually one of their first titles; so either they hit the ground running or this is one of the games that secured their reputation. Either way, it’s still a classic of its type. And apparently there was a sequel on the PlayStation. You learn something new each day.

So I hope you’ve enjoyed this trip down Commodore Memory Lane. Yes, I know, some of the games are a lot newer than that, but I’m afraid I’ll always think of Team 17 as “an Amiga studio”. They did sterling work back in the day, they really helped define the Amiga and give the platform its own identity, distinct from consoles (even though a lot of their games were, obviously, ported to other systems). And thanks to the success of Worms, they’ve endured, even as most of their contemporaries have fallen by the wayside. And now they’re in Salford! A Yorkshire invasion of Lancashire. What could go wrong?!

[kingfallshistoricallibrary-blog]

Episode Nine - Jack in the Box Jesus

Mayor: Ladies and gentlemen, I promise you that while it is a terrible inconvenience that our modern electronics are out, this is not the end of the world. It could be a refreshing change of pace! Instead of reading on your tablet go down to the King Falls library and check out the real thing! And instead of texting your BFF go enjoy some pancake puppies at Rose’s and have a face-to-face chat.This isn’t as bad as it seems and it could be a blessing in disguise. [intro] Sammy: Good morning guys and dolls, you’re listening to King Falls AM Ben: That’s 660 on the radio dial. Sammy: and this is day 13 of what has been dubbed the King Falls electrolocaust. Ben: This has easily been the hardest two weeks of my professional career. Sammy: It has been tough, but Ben and I want to thank you and everyone out there listening for the continuing support of the show. Ben: We got another doozy of a show for you tonight King Falls. During our two we’ll be interviewing Maria Chandler, manager of the King Falls Apple store, and speaking about the effects that shut down this (?) business. Sammy: MMYAs well as fielding your calls and talking about whatever’s clever this evening. Ben: I miss computers, Sammy. I miss the schedule, our automated systems, my alarm clock. I’ve went through three the legal pads in two weeks! Sammy: I know, buddy. Ben: I would literally watch channel 13 if given the chance. Sammy: Wow. That’s saying a lot. Ben: I need my life back. Sammy: King Falls, how are you taking the modern electronic shut down of 2015? Are you refreshed? Reliving the mid-90s? Or are you falling apart like our dear Ben Arnold? Ben: I’d listen to boy bands to have a working smartphone. I’d wear, puka shell necklaces and sell my pod collection if you give me five minutes with my email. Sammy: Look on the bright side, Ben. You’re spending all your free time down the library, and I haven’t called you out on it, Ben: That’s calling me out on it. Sammy: Well, and you know it’s nice hearing the birds tweeting instead of @ king falls a.m., I’m not saying I don’t miss it but I’m enjoying this a little bit. Ben: It’s tearing up my heart when I’m with you

Sammy: The references are not gonna bring back your goods. Ben: Dammit Sammy, let’s just take a call from our jury-rigged phone system. Sammy: You’re live with Sammy and Ben. Cynthia: Yeah, I wanna talk about the outages. Sammy: Cynthia Higgenbaum ladies and gents. How are you doing during this electronic crisis? Cynthia: I feel the warm embrace of the chastity belt that’s been placed on society. I’m relieved, de-stressed, marvelous. Ben: Whoa, that’s, that’s a heck of a change. Cynthia: What are you trying to say, Ben? Sammy: It’s just usually- you’ve been a little.. pessimistic in the past. Cynthia: Oh, I still have problems; I’m full up with issues. But right now, I don’t have to worry about what websites my husband is pursuing, what brain-dead TV my kids are watching, I’m at peace. It’s just me and my harlequin novels. Plus with Jesus back in all- Ben: 50 shades of Cynthia Cynthia: Don’t be filthy Ben Arnold! I know your mother! Sammy: I’m sorry Cynthia, did you just say that Jesus is back? Cynthia: Have you guys not heard the news? Ben Is she talking about Jesus Jesus? Cynthia: There’s only one. Sammy: Well, I think Mexico would disagree but please tell us why you think Jesus is- Cynthia: I don’t think Sammy I know! Earlier this evening, he was spotted glowing and speaking in tongues at Jack In The Box. Ben: The one off Main Street or Red Oak Avenue? Cynthia: Ew, nobody does to Red Oak. Sammy: Jack In The Box Jesus. Cynthia: Oh, hell no! I will not participate in that blasphemy. You’re gonna get smited- Sammy: Oh, I mean, I wasn’t- I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to- Cynthia: Tell it to Satan, In hell, Sammy! [hangs up] Ben: Woah, this is big. Sammy: If you or someone you know has had a sighting of Jack In The Box Jesus please give us a call. 424-279-3858 Ben: You’re on King Falls AM. Troy: Now I know what you’re thinking: how could the second coming of God’s only son happen and ol’ Troy here didn’t clue you in. Ben: Not what I was thinking. Sammy: What do you know Troy? Troy: Well I got a suspicious persons call out at ol’ Jack in the Box around 9, So I hit the lights and cruised over to see what the fuss was about. And lo and behold, back by the dumpster with a mess of people looking on, there he was. Sammy: Now are you really telling us that you saw, or, you believe you saw the son of God and the King of Kings banging outside the Jack In The Box? Troy: Well, he was a man, somebody’s son no doubt. Bearded, good looking, if you are into that sort of thing. He had a robe on- Ben: We can solve this right now. Was he white or was he black? Troy: He was more of a greenish color. Like a glow really. Sammy: The man had an aura around him. Troy: It was shinier than the damn Fukushima foxhound fellas. Like I felt a need to put on the old aviators, but I didn’t want to be cliché. Sammy: Alright, Troy. So, work with us here you’re in the back of the Jack In The Box, there’s a uh, Jesus type guy. Troy: Just-a-ramblin’ on. Ben: Speaking in tongues? Troy: Speaking in something. The last time I heard gibberish like that was comin’ from the back of my Chevy with Shell Snider’s daughter. Sammy: So what happened next? Troy: Well a group of lucky-loos had descended as I said and since it was only me, there was no perimeter set up yet. So I started ta approach this glowing Christ and somebody, Roy Higgens if you gotta know, hollered out ‘it’s Jesus!’ and the whole parking lot just went bonkers! Ben: Well, did you speak to the guy? Troy: Damn skippy. I told Roy that this was official police biz, And he shouldn’t be squawking around like a little baby. Ben: No, Jack in the box Jesus. Troy: Oh, well no. I turned around and he was gone. Split right off into the woods I suspect. Sammy: Did you follow him? Troy: Sammy, so you’re telling me that you’d follow a 6 foot tall and glowing perp into the woods? Sammy: Point taken. Ben: So any other sightings? Troy: Well, not as of yet. But there were so many people they could have had a revival in that parkin’ lot. So I’m guessin’ that’s how word spread so quickly. And without internet too? That’s pretty damn impressive. Sammy: Is there an APB out or anything? Troy: For what, dilly-dallying around with a jumbo jack? He wasn’t doin nothin bad, just acting a fool, Lord forgive me, where he shouldn’t have been. Ben: And glowing. Troy: That’s right. Sammy: Well, please let us know if get any more info on this Troy, we’d appreciate it. Troy: You bet, I’ll be sure to keep you boys in the listen and the public informed. But if you should happen to stumble upon Jesus, do not approach, bother or pester. Just call up ol’ deputy Troy. [hangs up] Ben: ..or your local church. Sammy: Deputy Troy ladies and gents. Now we’re just going to take a quick break and hear from one of our new sponsors: Carl’s Candy. Ben: Yeah I don- I don’t think we should play this Sammy: What? Ads pay the bills remember? Ben: Folks, as a work around with all the tech issues, I went out and recorded a few spots of some of our sponsors, new and old. Emphasis on old after this one. Sammy: Ok so the audio is bad. Ben: You could say that. Sammy: This company’s paid up, they’re scheduled in one of your many notebooks let’s do this. We’ll be right back folks. [ad] Carl: Do you know why they call it a blow pop? I sure do. And if you come on down to Creepy Carl’s Candy, I’ll fill ya up! I mean in, it’ll be our little secret. A sweet tooth is a terrible thing to waste, come find a new sugar daddy to butter your fingers at Creepy Carl’s! Come in and grab a sack of Carl’s Boston baked beans while you’re at it. Oops, one fell in my pocket. Free if you can find it. Every child’s welcome at Creepy Carl’s, big mouths, small mouths, white mouths and brown mouths. We’re equal opportunity! And just because they shut down the ol’ brick and mortar doesn’t mean you can’t buy it from my van. Be sure to ask your parent’s permission first, kids. Creepy Carl’s Candy, where the suckers don’t suck themselves. [Police sirens] Troy: Carl, turn off your ignition. You are too close to the school zone. Carl: I gotta go, catch ya later

??: The mic! [End] Sammy: Never again. Ben: I tried to tell you. Sammy: I know. Let’s never speak about this. Ben: I need a shower. Sammy: Moving forward, we were just talking about a sighting that happened a few hours ago around the 9 o’clock hour just off main street. It seems quite a few people believe that we may be experiencing a religious phenomenon. Perhaps the second coming of– Ben: Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years! Sammy: Right, let’s go to the phone lines. Ben: That was good though right? Sammy: It was good. Good evening, you are live on King Falls AM. Reverend: Ask and you shall receive. King Falls-uh. It is the good Reverend Xavier “Right with God-uh” Hawthorne. Ben: Reverend Hawthorne? Are you back in town? Reverend: The one and only, and we are turnin’ the wagons around as we speak. And we’re heading back to my flock. How’re y’all feelin’ tonight, King Falls? I said How are you, feelin’! Sammy: We’re feeling alright. REVEREND HAWTHORN   Praise God-uh! Hallelujah! Now a little birdie, just chirp’n on my shoulder, told me there was a sighting. A vision. Dare I say it, eyeballs were laid on our Lord and Saviour at a burger joint in our fair city. Sammy: Yeah, about 9 o’clock here. Reverend: Could it be-uh, that our 5 week revival worked. Could it be-uh that our prayers have been brought forth the lamb of God-uh. Can I get an amen! Ben: Reverend Hawthorne w- Reverend: Amen! This miracle-uh, this sight from our God-uh, perched on a mountain of sanctity, says that he is ready to lead-uh, his most highly favored congregation back to the promised land. Have me some organ Deacon Reggie [organ music begins playing in the background] Sammy: Do you think Reggie has to wheel that thing around just in case? Ben: This is getting good. Reverend: Play it dirty brother. We are going home-uh. Take us back to Calvary, take us BACK-uh! Samuel, Benjamin may I ask you gentlemen if you have a relationship-uh with the Author of the eternal salvation; are you saved? Sammy: I’m- Reverend: The let me tell y’all, because if you aren’t-uh, I’m coming back to town, one weekend only, the Xavier “Right with God-uh” Hawthorne Experience will be wheelin’ back into King Falls Fairgrounds this very night-uh. We are hoping to get one-on-one with the Risen Christ and start preparing for Kingdom Come. But just like old Xavier, you gotta come on down-uh so we can get you turnt up with God-uh. [hangs up] Sammy: Xavier? Hello? Ben: He’s, gone. Sammy. Sammy: Well, you heard it here first folks Xavier Hawthorn’s Travelling Roadshow is coming back to town. Will Jack In The Box Jesus make his stage debut? Ben: Jesus. Sammy: Literally. Ben: Do you think we can get an interview? Would it be Mr. Christ? Or- Sammy: Something tells me that there is something more to the story than what we’ve heard so far, Ben. Ben: I get that, but this is King Falls, Sammy. Sammy: What a perfect place to make a return, a rinky-dink town with no internet. Ben: Line -dammit, there’s only one line. Uh, you’re on with Sammy and Ben. Archie: Good evenin’ fellas! Sammy: Is thi- Archie: It’s Archie Simmons! Ben: Hey Archie, how’s Princess Von Barktooth? Archie: Well, I do have news concerning the princess, and I just want to possibly recant some info from our previous call a few weeks back. Sammy: About the werewolves? Archie: Correct. Sammy: Wow, I mean you sounded pretty convinced that you saw a werewolf. Archie: And now I’m saying that maybe I was misinformed. Sammy: I think you should probably tell Troy and the Sheriff’s Office, Archie. Archie: You silly sally, Troy’s already on his way over now Ben: Why the change of heart Archie? Archie: Well, new information has come to light boys, I mean with the Divine One making his triumphant, let’s be honest, dramatic return to King Falls.

Sammy: You’re talking about the glowing man at the Jack In The Box? Archie: Let’s be real here, it’s the J-Man, of course a heavenly carpenter would pick King Falls. So many projects to keep busy with. Sammy: Uh-huh. Archie: Plus with the princess and this new information, we have to believe this. Ben: You keep saying that, what’s going on with the princess Archie? Archie: She’s in a delicate condition. Sammy: Oh, well of course. I mean she’s been through a lot. Archie: No Sammy, I mean that she is with child. Children. Puppies? There’s a bun in the $2400 oven boys! Sammy: Wait, she’s pregnant? From the werewolf attack? Archie: Well, that’s the thing, while I believed in my heart of hearts that the hillbilly beast from the trailer park had gotten to the princess, I think.. Ben: What, what do you think Archie? Archie: I mean it was dark, I know it was a full moon but I was scared and recently awakened, sleep in my eyes etc. and so on. Sammy: You don’t think it was the werewolves. Archie: I’m thinking with this new evidence and the fact that I saw a long-haired bearded man in the biblical act, yeah I think there’s a chance it could have been [whispering] the man upstairs. Ben: Upstairs from whom? Archie: Mankind! Come on Ben get with the preacher. Sammy: He’s saying that because there’s been a holy sighting tonight, which we should all be a little bit doubtful of, then maybe it wasn’t the werewolves, but the Alpha and the Omega. Ben: No! NO WA- That’s too much, Archie. You saw the werewolf. He looked you in the eye and howled at the moon. Archie: I don’t know what kind of weird things Jesus is into. Ben: No way. This is ludicrous. Archie: You just wait and see Ben. Princess may have lost her Westminster dream, all part of God’s plan. Ben: We’ve got to go Archie [laughs] you’re crossing a line that we cannot cross at King Falls AM. Archie: Judge not, lest ye be judged boys. Kardashians 3:16 or a Psalm or something. I think Troy’s coming around the bend anyways boys, laters! [Hangs up] Sammy: You know when I walk in the door every night I say to myself, ‘Nothing’s going to surprise me tonight’ And more times than not, I am just dead wrong. Ben: Let’s give the phone a rest for a moment, Sammy the record player is just begging to be used.

Sammy: Not a bad idea Ben. [notification sound] Ben: What? Oh my phone! [many notifications] Oh it’s back baby! Sammy: Me too! What’s going on? Ben: What’s up! Oh my God, I could literally kiss the apparition of Steve Jobs. Sammy: Hey, I’ve got a text here, unknown number. Ben: Ok, what does it say? Sammy: I know why this happened, I know how to stop it, we need to talk Ben: What? Sammy: No, that’s what the text said. Ben: You don’t think this has anything to do with.. Thank you, Jesus. [credit music plays]

[chocolatequeennk]

Forever and Never Apart, 26/42

Summary: After taking a year to recover from the Master, the Doctor and Rose are ready to travel again. But Time keeps pushing them forward, and instead of going back to their old life, they slowly realise that they’re stepping into a new life. Friends new and old are meeting on the TARDIS, and when the stars start going out, the Doctor and Rose face the biggest change of all: the return of Bad Wolf.

Series 4 with Rose, part 7 of Being to Timelessness; sequel to Taking Time (AO3 | FF.NET | TSP)

Betaed by @lastbluetardis, @rudennotgingr, @jabber-who-key, and @pellaaearien. Thank you so much!

We are finally to the Library, which gets a major rewrite. And that means this is still a prompt fill for @doctorroseprompts–imagine Doomsday didn’t happen, and rewrite one S3/S4 episode or scene.

AO3 | FF.NET | TSP

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch 10| Ch 11 | Ch 12 | Ch 13 | Ch 14 | Ch 15 | Ch 16 | Ch 17 | Ch 18 | Ch 19 | Ch 20 | Ch 21 | Ch 22 | Ch 23 | Ch 24 | Ch 25

Chapter Twenty-six: The Wolf and the Shadow

Rose smiled at the Doctor as he bounced and spun around the reading room. Figuring something out had soothed his earlier fatalistic outlook, though of course he would be happier if he could figure out where the Vashta Nerada came from.

She pivoted in a slow circle as she turned that particular mystery over in her mind. The one thing she’d picked up from the Doctor about the life cycle of the Vashta Nerada was that they laid their eggs in trees.

She laid her hand on the carved railing of the staircase. There was a lot of wood in the Library, she mused—much more than she’d imagined in a building so futuristic. It was almost as surprising as the paper books.

Oh.

Paper. Paper made from trees, which had been cut down from a forest somewhere.

“Doctor,” she said quietly, using the bond to get his attention rather than volume. He wheeled around and looked at her. “I think I’ve figured out where the Vashta Nerada came from.”

His eyes widened. “Where? They hatch in forests, and this entire planet is a city.”

Rose shook her head. “No, this entire planet is a forest.” She lifted her hands and turned slowly, pointing at the shelves. “You said all the books here were printed specially for the Library. Which means they were printed at once, likely on paper made from the same batch of wood pulp… cut down from the same forest.”

“Oh,” he whispered, turning in a circle. “These are their forests.”

oOoOoOoOo

Miss Evangelista stood up while Donna was still grappling with her memories and gestured to the walk that encircled the playground. “Shall we?” she asked, sounding exactly like the genteel Victorian lady she looked like.

“Mind if I join you?” another familiar voice asked as they stood up.

Donna spun around to look at her niece. “Jenny! What are you doing here?”

Jenny looked at her steadily, and Donna cringed when she saw something sad in the younger woman’s eyes. “Miss Evangelista and I talked earlier,” she explained. “And we agreed that this would be the best way to show you.”

“To show me what?” Donna looked back and forth between the two women, her temper sparking. “Listen, you,” she snarled at Miss Evangelista, “I don’t know who you are, but my niece had a very serious brain injury. If you’ve been messing with us both…”

“She is not your niece,” Miss Evangelista said calmly. “Think, Donna. Remember the person you were when you knew me before.”

Jenny put a hand on her shoulder. “Just… listen for a little bit longer, Donna, all right?” she pleaded. “If we get to the end, and you still think we’re bonkers, you can tell Doctor Moon I’ve relapsed and we won’t ever mention it again.”

Donna pressed her lips into a thin line and took a deep breath through her nose. “All right then. Talk fast.”

Miss Evangelista pointed at the children playing as the trio started their walk. “I suggested we meet here because a playground is the easiest place to see it,” Miss Evangelista explained. “To see the lie.”

“What lie?” Donna demanded. She could hear her children shrieking happily as Miss Evangelista tried to dismantle her whole world, and it made her even more snappish than usual.

“The children,” Jenny said gently. “Look at the children.”

But Donna couldn’t look away from Miss Evangelista. She told herself she was fascinated by the woman’s veil, but deep down, she knew she was terrified of what she’d see if she looked at the playground.

“Why do you wear that veil?” she asked. “If I had a face like yours, I wouldn’t hide it.”

“You remember my face, then?” Donna couldn’t be certain, but she thought Miss Evangelista was smiling behind the veil. “The memories are all still there. The Library, the Doctor, me. You’ve just been programmed not to look.”

Donna slowed down as an awful memory returned—the memory of this young woman, talking to her through death. “Sorry, but you’re dead.”

Miss Evangelista turned and looked straight ahead. “In a way, we’re all dead here, Donna,” she said, with the calm only the dead can achieve when talking about death. “We are the dead of the Library.”

“Well, what about the children? The children aren’t dead.” Donna looked at the playground, and something seemed off. The world is wrong. She pushed the thought aside and looked back at Jenny. “My children aren’t dead.”

She hated that there was even a hint of question in her voice.

Jenny pursed her lips and shook her head. “Ella and Joshua aren’t real, Donna.”

Donna waved her arms at Jenny, her body shaking with fear and anger. “Don’t you say that. Don’t you dare say that about my children!” She gestured at the playground where she could hear Ella and Joshua playing. “You were there when they were born! You held them!”

Jenny’s eyes, usually bright blue with excitement or happiness, now looked like the sky right before a storm. “Was I, Donna?”

“Look at your children,” Miss Evangelista interrupted. “Look at all of them, really look.”

Donna spun around to tell the other woman where she could take all of her comments about things being wrong, but as she did, her gaze landed on the playground, and she finally saw it. One little boy and one little girl, repeated over and over. Wearing the same coats, laughing with the same childish giggles, smiling the same toothy smiles.

“They’re not real,” Miss Evangelista pressed in a low voice. “Do you see it now? They’re all the same. All the children of this world, the same boy and the same girl, over and over again.”

“Stop it. Just stop it. Why are you doing this?” Donna glared at the other woman, who wouldn’t even let her see her face. “Why are you wearing that veil?”

Jenny watched with morbid curiosity when Donna yanked the veil off. She’d wondered the same question, but had managed to curtail the impulse to ask, thinking that Rose would call the question rude. Donna didn’t have Jenny’s mum’s voice in the back of her head, though, and obviously felt no compunction about unveiling their mysterious friend.

The loud gasp Jenny let out when Miss Evangelista’s face was revealed was quiet compared to Donna’s yell. With one eye three times the size of the other and the crooked mouth, it looked like someone had melted her face.

She looks like a Picasso, Donna thought, just barely managing to stem the hysterical laughter rising up.

Miss Evangelista readjusted her veil, then looked at them calmly while they gathered their wits again. “What happened to your face?” Jenny asked finally.

The young woman shrugged wryly. “Transcription errors. Destroyed my face, did wonders for my intellect. I’m a very poor copy of myself.”

“Where are we?” Donna asked. “Why are the children all the same?”

They were finally getting down to the most important part of the story, and Jenny leaned forward to take Donna’s hand. “The same pattern over and over,” she told her. “It saves an awful lot of space.”

Donna looked at the two of them, her forehead knit together. “Space?”

Miss Evangelista nodded. “Cyberspace.”

oOoOoOoOo

“Doctor,” Melody said, “what were you saying a moment ago about everyone being saved?”

He shoved his hands into his trouser pockets and nodded firmly. “Right, yes. Here, let me show you.” He ran to a computer terminal, and quickly pulled up the archives from the day the Library had gone silent.

Once he had the record open, it was easy to find what he was looking for. “See, there it is, right there.” He pointed at the screen for the four people who’d gathered around him. “A hundred years ago, massive power surge. All the teleports going at once. Soon as the Vashta Nerada hit their hatching cycle, they attack. Someone hits the alarm. The computer tries to teleport everyone out.”

Melody peered at the screen. “It tried to teleport four thousand twenty-two people?”

The Doctor rocked back on his heels. “It succeeded,” he corrected. “Pulled them all out, but then what? Nowhere to send them. Nowhere safe in the whole library. Vashta Nerada growing in every shadow. Four thousand and twenty-two people all beamed up and nowhere to go.” He twirled his finger in the air. “They’re stuck in the system, waiting to be sent, like emails. So what’s a computer to do? What does a computer always do?”

Rose sucked in a breath. “It saved them,” she whispered.

The Doctor nodded, then looked for a surface he could draw on. His gaze landed on the mahogany table, and he ran to it and shoved the books out of the way as he pulled a marker out of his pocket.

“The Library,” he said, drawing a large circle right on the table. “A whole world of books, and right at the core,” he added another circle inside the smaller circle, “the biggest hard drive in history. The index to everything ever written, backup copies of every single book. The computer saved four thousand and twenty-two people the only way a computer can.” He added an arrow, pointing at the centre circle. “It saved them to the hard drive.”

Rose tapped her fingers over the centre circle. “And that’s where Jenny and Donna are?” she asked, her voice tight and not quite hopeful.

The Doctor put his hand over hers. “That’s where Jenny and Donna are,” he said, hoping as he said the words that he was right.

oOoOoOoOo

Jenny linked her arm through Donna’s as Miss Evangelista led them to a bandstand where they could talk a little more easily. “How are you doing, Donna?” she asked quietly. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”

“How am I supposed to believe this?” Donna countered. “We’re not even real? This isn’t my real body? But I’ve been dieting.”

Jenny giggled. “Well, we’ve actually only been in the database for…” She squinted and tried to count back. “A little over an hour. So, you haven’t been denying yourself for as long as it feels, if it makes you feel any better.”

Donna snorted. “Just a little,” she allowed.

Miss Evangelista turned to them, and even without being able to see her face, they could sense her annoyance. They both quieted, and she nodded sharply.

“Your physical self is stored in the Library as an energy signature,” she explained. “It can be actualised again whenever you or the Library requires.”

“The Library?” In the middle of trying to grasp what she was being told, Donna suddenly remembered the faceless doll Ella had made of her. “If my face ends up on one of those statues…”

Jenny laughed. “Of course you remember the statues. Oh, you hated those.”

Miss Evangelista gestured at the park around them. “What you see around you, this entire world is nothing more than virtual reality.”

The three ladies looked around slowly, then Donna looked straight at Miss Evangelista.

“So why do you look like that?” she asked, her voice soft.

“I had no choice,” the other woman said briskly. “You both teleported. You’re perfect reproductions. I was just a data ghost caught in the wifi and automatically uploaded.”

“And that’s why you’re able to interact with the program without oversight from Doctor Moon,” Jenny said, realising the answer to a question that had bothered her from the moment she’d met the virtual Miss Evangelista.

The veiled woman nodded, but Donna asked another question before she could speak.

“And… being uploaded to the computer made you clever?”

Miss Evangelista shrugged. “We’re only strings of numbers in here. I think a decimal point may have shifted in my IQ. But my face has been the bigger advantage. I have the two qualities you require to see absolute truth. I am brilliant and unloved.”

Jenny had only been alive for three months, but she had already seen enough to know the truth in what Miss Evangelista said. Even within the world of a virtual reality, no one would pay any attention to someone who looked like Miss Evangelista. It was one of the saddest truths she’d faced yet.

Donna squinted at the two of them. “If this is all a dream, whose dream is it?”

“It’s hard to see everything in the data core, even for me, but there is a word. Just one word. Cal.”

Jenny’s mouth dropped open. “But we know what CAL is,” she said. “Sorry, Mr. Lux was telling us about her when you… ah…”

“When I died,” Miss Evangelista said calmly. “Yes, now that you mention it, I do remember hearing the start of a conversation… but I was too focused on the opening in the wall to pay attention. Continue.”

“CAL stands for Charlotte Abigail Lux. Technically, she was his aunt—his father’s younger sister. She was dying when she was just a girl, so her father—Mr. Lux’s grandfather—built the Library, with a computer at the centre. He gave her everything she wanted, all the stories in the universe.”

Miss Evangelista nodded. “Then CAL is the data core, in a way. And it is her dream we have all been folded into.”

Donna’s head was swimming. The idea that she was just… just a string of numbers was hard to swallow. But harder still was the notion that nothing of her life was real. She had everything she’d ever wanted—a perfect life with a gorgeous man who adored her and two beautiful children.

Is that really everything you ever wanted? her subconscious niggled at her. You remember the travelling now. Don’t you miss the adventure?

Ella called out to her before she could tell her subconscious what it could do with that errant thought. “Mummy, my knee!”

Donna ran to her daughter, who had fallen off a swing and skinned her knee. “Oh! Oh, look at that knee,” she said as she knelt down besides Ella. “Oh, look at that silly old knee!” She scooped Ella up into her arms and cuddled her close.

“She’s not real.”

Donna’s head snapped back so she could glare at Miss Evangelista, who had followed her across the playground.

“They’re fictions,” the woman insisted. “I’m sorry, but now that you understand that, you won’t be able to keep a hold. They are sustained only by your belief.”

Jenny put her hand on Miss Evangelista’s shoulder. “I think you’ve made your point,” she said, her voice kind, but firm. “We know this isn’t real, but until we can find a way to get out of the computer, is there any harm in pretending it is?” She took Joshua’s hand and smiled at Donna. “Let’s go home, yeah?”

Donna nodded. “Yeah.”

She wanted to be surprised when she blinked and they were back at home, but the afternoon had destroyed her ability to believe Doctor Moon’s lies.

Joshua pulled his hand away from Jenny’s and wrapped an arm around Donna’s waist. “That was quick, wasn’t it, Mummy?”

“Donna.” Jenny’s tension-filled voice forced Donna to acknowledge her, and she turned around, trying not to see the red light or hear the alarm shrieking. “Donna, something is wrong.”

oOoOoOoOo

Rose held the Doctor’s hand tight as she let herself really believe they would find Jenny and Donna. They knew where they were; now it was just a matter of finding a way to retrieve their data signals.

Hope had barely had time to gain a foothold when red lights started flashing in time with a blaring siren.

“What is it?” Mr. Lux asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Auto destruct enabled in twenty minutes,” a recorded voice announced.

They all ran back at the computer terminal, which was flashing two messages: one, the countdown to the auto destruct, and the other, a warning of maximum erasure.

“Maximum erasure doesn’t sound good,” Rose observed, trying to keep the fear out of her voice.

“Yeah, not so much.” All those people on the hard drive, including Jenny and Donna, would be deleted. The Doctor shoved his hand through his hair as he stumbled back from the terminal. “In twenty minutes, this planet’s going to crack like an egg.”

“No,” Mr. Lux burst out. “No, it’s all right. The Doctor Moon will stop it. It’s programmed to protect Cal.”

Rose wanted to groan, because Sod’s law dictated that as soon as Mr. Lux assured them nothing could go wrong, it would. And sure enough, a moment later, the monitor went blank.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no!” the Doctor yelled. He jumped up on the table so he could look behind the terminal, and Rose saw him pull his sonic screwdriver out.

He can do this, Rose thought, biting hard on her lip. The Doctor will get the computer to work again, and then he’ll save everyone.

A different automated voice killed that thought. “All library systems are permanently offline. Sorry for any inconvenience.”

oOoOoOoOo

Donna sat down with her children on the couch and wrapped an arm around each of them. Jenny sat in the chair, and the sympathetic look on her face cut to the quick. “You just, you just stay where I can see you, all right?” She couldn’t stop the tears running down her face. No matter what she told her children, no matter how many precautions she took, she was going to lose them. “You, you don’t get out of my sight.”

“Is it bedtime?” Ella suggested innocently.

This time, Donna felt it happen—the computer glitch as they all moved from one room to another. At least in the children’s bedroom with the curtain closed, they couldn’t see the red light anymore. The alarm was still there in the background, though even it was harder to hear.

Ella and Joshua were tucked snugly in their beds, and she was sitting on Ella’s bed while Jenny was on Joshua’s. The two women looked at each other, resigned, fearful expressions of their faces, then Donna took a deep breath and faked a smile.

“Okay.” Donna pulled the covers up to Ella’s chin while Jenny did the same for Joshua. “That was lovely, wasn’t it? That was a lovely bedtime. Aunt Jenny made warm milk, and we watched cartoons, and then Mummy read you a lovely bedtime story.”

Ella looked at her, through eyes that were far too knowing for a child of seven. “Mummy, Joshua and me, we’re not real, are we?”

“Of course you’re real,” Donna lied. “You’re as real as anything. Why do you say that?”

Joshua answered first. “But, Mummy, sometimes, when you’re not here, it’s like we’re not here,” he protested, and the little lisp in his voice broke Donna’s heart, almost as much as his words..  

“Even when you close your eyes, we just stop,” Ella explained.

Donna had tried so hard to ignore the facts, but having them presented to her by… by the computer programs she’d thought were her children made it impossible. She blinked back tears as she looked from one to the other.

“Well, Mummy promises to never close her eyes again.” She smiled at Joshua, then turned back to kiss Ella on the forehead, but the bed was empty.

“No!” She jumped up and yanked the cover down, but the there was no little girl hiding in the sheets. She wheeled around to Joshua, but he’d disappeared too, leaving Donna standing in between two empty beds, begging the universe to give her her children back. “Please! No, please!”

She fell to her knees, pulling at the covers, trying to find her son and daughter, but they had vanished. Her desperate whispers escalated into shrieks of denial. “No! No, no! No, no!”

Jenny grabbed her arms. “Donna. Donna!” She shook her gently, and finally the other woman’s eyes focused on her. “You need to calm down!”

Donna drew back, a snarl contorting her features. “Don’t you dare tell me to calm down!” she hissed. “My children…” Her throat closed up, and she swallowed, then tried again. “My babies are gone!”

Jenny flinched. Right, not the best way to start. What would Mum say to get through to her? She nodded slowly, then tried again. “Okay, I know this is… horrifying,” she said slowly, trying to project Rose’s compassion. “I can’t imagine what it would be like to see your children disappear in front of your eyes. But maybe this is the start of us getting out of the computer. And if we get out of here, you can meet someone and have actual children of your own. Children who are real, that you share every moment of their lives.”

Donna sniffed and wiped at her eyes. “I don’t even remember being pregnant,” she admitted. “Not that I was particularly looking forward to feeling like a beached whale, but…” She sighed wistfully. “I did want some parts of it. Feeling my babies move. I never had that.”

Jenny nodded, relieved that the computer hadn’t managed to perfectly replicate every detail of life. “See, it’ll be better when you have the real experience. But for that to happen, we need to get back to the real world. So this… as scary as it is, this might be a good thing.” She nudged Donna with her elbow. “You know Dad and Rose are out there working like mad to get us back.”

Donna opened her mouth and Jenny held her hand up. “Both of us,” she insisted. “Donna, you’re like the older sister neither of them ever had. Why do you think the computer decided you were my aunt?”

Donna stared at her for a long moment, then a tiny smile crossed her face. “Look at you; only three months old and already smarter than me,” she teased. “All right, let’s go back downstairs and wait for the world to end so we can go home.”

oOoOoOoOo

Mr. Lux hollered over the warnings. “We need to stop this. We’ve got to save Cal.”

Rose snorted. “And how do you propose we do that?” she countered. “As far as I can tell, Cal is the one who’s trying to kill us!”

Mr. Lux shook his head. “I think the Doctor could stop her, if we got to the main computer.”

The Doctor’s eyebrows rose. “It’s at the core of the planet.”

Melody smirked and pulled out her screwdriver. “Well, then. Let’s go.” She ran to the middle of the room and pointed it at the Library logo. The large compass rose opened and a blue stream of light flowed up. “Gravity platform,” she said simply.  

“Melody Pond, I like you,” Rose declared as she stepped onto the gravity platform.

She could hear a note of relief in the archaeologist’s laugh, and a pang of sympathy went through her for the other woman. Despite the fact that Melody was older than her, currently, their relationship was very clearly one where she looked up to Rose and not the other way around. It must have been hard, feeling like she had to earn my respect all over again.

“Anita!” the Doctor called out, and the younger woman shuffled slowly towards them. Rose noted with some relief that she still had two shadows.

When they were all on the platform, Melody activated the command to transport them to the centre of the planet.

They had fifteen minutes left in the auto destruct countdown when they reached the data core. The Doctor ran in the direction of an orangish light, and soon he was staring in awe at a massive ball of energy. “The data core. Over four thousand living minds trapped inside it.”

“Yeah, well, they won’t be living much longer,” Melody pointed out bluntly. “We’re running out of time.”

“Yes, we can all hear the countdown,” Rose retorted. “So let’s not waste time pointing out the obvious.” She took a quick breath, then shook her head. “I’m sorry. I just want them back.”

The Doctor squeezed her shoulder, then ran past her down the corridor toward what he hoped was the main server room. He let out a sigh of relief when the multiple terminals filling the room confirmed his guess, and rushed to the nearest one.

However, he’d barely begun his attempt to get it to work when he was interrupted by the plaintive call of a young girl. “Help me. Please, help me.”

“What’s that?” Anita asked as they scanned the room for the source of the voice.

The Doctor looked at Mr. Lux, who had tears in his eyes. “That’s Cal,” the other man confirmed. He tugged off his gloves and reached for a lever in the wall. When he pulled it, a door opened on the opposite side of the room.

The group ran into a room filled with more computer processors and terminals, and the Doctor watched in astonishment as a Courtesy Node turned around to reveal the face of the same little girl they’d seen on the monitor upstairs.

“Please help me. Please help me.”

“It’s the little girl,” Anita said, apparently able to see well enough through her visor to pick out the girl’s features. “The girl we saw in the computer.”

“This is Cal,” Mr. Lux said quietly. “I told you my grandfather put her living mind inside the computer… Well, in a way, she is the computer. The main command node.”

“Help me. Please help me,” the girl continued to beg.

The Doctor stared at the command node, the pieces falling into place. “So Cal is in the computer, dreaming of the perfect life. But she’s also part of the Library, so when the shadows came and the alarm sounded…”

“The shadows,” CAL said, “I have to… I have to save. Have to save.”

“And she saved them.” The Doctor peered up toward the planet’s surface. They were even closer to the data core here than they had been before. “She saved everyone in the Library. Folded them into her dreams and kept them safe.”

“Then why didn’t she tell us?” Anita asked.

Doctor. Rose’s sharp nudge got his attention immediately. Anita only has one shadow.

The Doctor looked over at her and his hearts dropped. Oh, Anita.

The computer countdown reminded him that he had still-living people who were counting on him, which meant he didn’t have time to confront the swarm that had just killed Anita.

“Because she’s forgotten,” he said, in answer to the question. “She’s got over four thousand living minds chatting away inside her head. Imagine trying to keep track of that many individual thoughts at once. Even a computer can’t usually handle four thousand twenty-two processes at one time. We’ll be lucky if her memory of the truth is the only thing missing.”

“So what do we do?” Melody asked matter-of-factly.

There were only ten minutes left on the countdown, and that wasn’t enough time to think of a clever plan. “Easy!” He ran back to the terminal and opened a command line. “We beam all the people out of the data core. The computer will reset and stop the countdown.” The information he was getting from the computer wasn’t promising. “Difficult. Charlotte doesn’t have enough memory space left to make the transfer.”

“Easy,” Rose drawled. “Someone runs back upstairs, gets the TARDIS, and we use her memory space.”

Melody snorted. “Difficult. The Library is swarming with Vashta Nerada.”

The Doctor looked at Mr. Lux and Other Dave. “You two, go back to the surface. If I succeed, you’ll soon have four thousand people who need to be sent home.”

The two men looked at each other, then shrugged and turned around. Melody started to protest, but the Doctor put his finger to his lips and pointed to Anita. Melody’s shoulders slumped when she saw that her protege only had one shadow.

The Doctor’s hearts ached for the young woman who had lost three friends in a single day. “Melody, do you know anything about splicing two computers together, the way we’re talking about?” he asked, both because he needed her help and because he hoped it would distract her from her grief.

She pulled her gloves off and nodded. “Oh, yes,” she promised, sounding exactly like… well, him. “You taught me yourself. Said it would come in handy someday—I guess someday is today.” She looked at him pointedly. “But none of my fancy computer and electronic skills will matter if you don’t get the TARDIS here in time.”

The Doctor nodded and turned to Anita, who had crept closer to them while they’d talked. “What about the Vashta Nerada?” she asked.

“Rose, come here, love.” The shadows had been lengthening in her direction, and he wanted her outside their reach. When she was close enough to take his hand, he looked back at Anita. “These are their forests. We’re going to seal Charlotte inside her little world, take everybody else away. The shadows can swarm to their hearts’ content.”

“So you think they’re just going to let us go?” the Vashta Nerada asked, condescension dripping from their voice.

The Doctor swallowed the angry retort he wanted to give and set his jaw. “Best offer they’re going to get.”

Anita’s helmet tilted slightly. “You’re going to make ‘em an offer?”

In his peripheral vision, the Doctor watched Melody’s tall, willowy form move from one panel to another, using the computer terminals to bring up CAL’s memories while he and Rose handled the Vashta Nerada. He recognised every move she made and briefly congratulated his future self on training her well, before focusing on the Vashta Nerada again.

“They’d better take it, because right now, I’m finding it very hard to make any kind of offer at all.” Rose rubbed her thumb over his, and he took a deep breath before his temper got out of control. “You know what? I really liked Anita. She was brave, even when she was crying. And she never gave in. And you ate her.” The Doctor pointed the screwdriver at the visor of her helmet, and only a skull was visible. “But I’m going to let that pass, just as long as you let them pass.”

The voice deepened, gaining an dangerous edge Anita had never used. “How long have you known?”

He walked away from Rose to look Anita’s skull in the face. “I counted the shadows. You only have one now.” Anita’s neural relay flashed. “She’s nearly gone. Be kind.”

“These are our forests,” they said coldly. “We are not kind.”

The Doctor crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m giving you back your forests, but you are giving me them. You are letting them go.” He turned his back on the swarm to walk to the gravity platform, painfully aware that the clock was ticking.

“These are our forests. They are our meat.”

The threat was obvious, but before the Doctor could even blink, he felt a flare of something stronger than anger over the bond. He checked Rose’s eyes as she stepped forward and thought he saw tiny flecks of gold dancing in her eyes, along with a determined glint that was all Rose. Not fully Bad Wolf, he thought, but something similar.

At the same time, the bond vibrated with her fury. He forced himself to watch quietly as she confronted the Vashta Nerada.

She held up her hand. “You’ve come far enough,” she ordered.

The Doctor turned back around and narrowed his eyes when he realised the swarm had one arm lifted and had slowly been extending itself toward him.

Power buzzed as the edge of Rose’s awareness as she stared down the swarm, but it stayed leashed for now. The TARDIS hummed in the back of her mind, and she smiled, knowing the ship was there if she needed any help.

Rather than stop, the swarm shifted direction slightly, moving toward her instead. Rose smirked and shook her head as she watched its progress. “If you’re smart, you’ll take the Doctor’s offer,” she said, her voice deathly calm. “You really shouldn’t have threatened my Doctor, but since he’s promised to let you go, I won’t harm you—as long as you don’t harm him.”

The swarm scoffed at the warning. “You are mortal, as is he.” The shadows moved another six inches closer to both her and the Doctor. “There is nothing you could do to stop us.”

The TARDIS sang in the back of Rose’s mind, and she knew exactly what to say to get the Vashta Nerada to leave them alone. A surge of confidence shot through her as she tossed her hair back over her shoulder and stared down the swarm.

“I’m the Bad Wolf. Do you really want to test what I can do to protect the Doctor?”

The song in her mind swelled, and to her surprise, the wind picked up around them. A moment later, the familiar grinding noise of the TARDIS engines echoed in the room. She heard the Doctor’s sharp intake of breath when he realised what was happening, but she didn’t dare look away from the Vashta Nerada.

The shadows paused when the TARDIS materialised only a metre to Rose’s right. The air in the room was tense as Rose, the Doctor, and Melody waited for the Vashta Nerada to consider their chances in light of that show of power.

Finally, the shadows receded. “You have one day,” they said before disappearing and letting the suit collapse.

The Doctor stared at Rose. “You… How did…” He ran his hand through his hair and chuckled hoarsely.

Rose shook her head. “I can’t take credit for the TARDIS. She did that all on her own. As for the rest…” She stepped closer to him and pressed her hand to his jaw. “I want you safe, my Doctor,” she said simply.

“Rose Tyler, Bad Wolf and protector of the Doctor.”

Melody cleared her throat. “As… um, touching and slightly terrifying as this is, we are running on a clock here. Maybe the two of you could get the TARDIS ready while I finish this up? Please?”

Rose smiled when the Doctor unlocked the door. “We’ll just go into the Vortex to give us time to get things ready. We’ll be back before you even notice we’re gone!” she called back over her shoulder.

While the Doctor moved to the controls to take them into the Vortex, Rose rested her hands on a coral strut. Thank you, she told the ship. The only response she got was a warm chuckle that made her feel like there was some detail she was missing, but Rose shrugged it off and turned back to the Doctor.

His attention was completely focused on the controls, and as they left the Library and reentered the Vortex, some of Rose’s exhilaration faded. “Are you…”

He let out a deep breath and looked up at her. “No. Not upset.” She opened her mouth, but he shook his head. “We don’t have time to talk about it right now. I’ll…” He ran his hand through his hair. “I’ll explain later.”

Rose shrugged and focused on the TARDIS. “Are you ready to save four thousand and twenty-two people, old girl?” she murmured while the Doctor ducked down below the console and pulled up a section of the grating. “We can’t do it without you.”

The TARDIS hummed encouragingly, and Rose leaned back on the jump seat to watch the Doctor work. There was still some kind of energy buzzing over their bond, and she tried to puzzle it out.

“You were terrifying and sexy as hell,” he said bluntly as he dug around in the storage compartment until he found the cables he needed and hooked them up to the console, ready to be wired into the Library’s mainframe. “The way you took charge and stared down the Vashta Nerada… I’m still trying to figure out how I can be absolutely petrified and completely turned on at the same time.”

Rose finally recognised the desire burning hot over the bond. It was so entwined with his fear that the sensations had merged to feel like something new and different—something she hadn’t been able to name until he’d explained it.

It was a heady combination.

But for now, she wanted to ease his fear. She was fine—she knew that instinctively. Rose watched him work, saw how hard he was focusing on what he was doing, and she knew how to shake him out of his fear.

She hopped out of the jump seat and leaned on a smooth section of the console only a few inches away from where he was working. The Doctor’s hands stilled and she reached over to touch his arm.

“Well…” she said, keeping her voice low and breathy. “If you’re debating which one to act on…” She trailed her fingers down his arm.

The Doctor jumped. “Rose!” His voice was a squeak. “We’re in the middle of saving four thousand people.”

To his surprise, Rose didn’t push her point, or remind him that time was meaningless in the Vortex. Instead, he thought he caught a glimpse of a satisfied smirk on her face as she turned away from him.

It only took him a moment to realise how artfully she’d managed to redirect his thoughts. Surprise over her actions had cleared his mind of his confusing reactions to her display with the Vashta Nerada.

He shook his head, then double-checked the work he’d done, now that he wasn’t fighting the urge to drag her to the medbay and run a whole slew of scans on her. After tweaking one wire, he spun around to the navigation panel and started setting the coordinates so they would land only a few seconds after they’d left.

That reminded him of the other mystery of the day—how had the TARDIS appeared, exactly when they’d needed her?

As he turned a dial, he felt the familiar hum of Rose and the TARDIS talking. He looked at Rose through the time rotor. She had her hand resting on the helmic regulator, just waiting for his signal. And as she waited, she was talking to the TARDIS, communicating with her on a level the Doctor could never achieve.

Oh, of course. The TARDIS had come to them today the same way she had when they’d needed to escape the Racnoss. She’d latched onto active huon particles and pulled herself to them.

“You’re being awfully careful with the coordinates,” Rose observed, breaking into his private thoughts.

“I want to make sure we land only seconds after we left Melody,” he explained as he tweaked a control.

“She’ll get us there,” she promised. “She wants Jenny and Donna back just as much as we do.”

The Doctor narrowed his eyes as he finished setting the coordinates, then stepped back and nodded at Rose. He could feel the connection between her and the TARDIS singing at the edges of his mind as she worked to send them back into flight. It felt… different, somehow. Stronger, maybe? Closer, like the TARDIS was just waiting for Rose to reach out to her.

They landed hard, and the Doctor shook his head, more than willing to set that thought aside. The traces of Bad Wolf lingering in Rose always made him uneasy. He’d been told, once upon a time, that the Bad Wolf could not be uncreated. It was a fact he tried to ignore.

“Your driving is getting better, Doctor,” Melody said when he stepped out of the TARDIS. She was still standing at the same panel she’d been working on when they’d left. “Or I suppose maybe it’s gotten worse as you’ve aged. You weren’t even gone for a full minute.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes and carried a cable over to her, while Rose dragged the power cord with her. “You know, those times when our landings are really atrociously bad are actually the exception, not the rule,” he pointed out.

Melody tossed her hair back over her shoulder. “Yeah…” she drawled. “But they’re so memorable.” She took the computer cable and began hooking it up to her panel. “How long did it take you?”

“About ten minutes.” The Doctor pointed at two panels. “Rose, can you get those open while I work with Melody on the memory boards?”

“What do I do after they’re open?” she asked as she used her sonic screwdriver to undo the bolts and slide the first panel out.

“There should be five rows of switches on each panel. Make sure that all the blue switches are toggled on, and the green ones are toggled off.”

Melody was shaking her head as the Doctor took the control panel next to her. “What?” he asked as he started rewiring the mainframe so it could handle the amount of electricity that would surge through it when they activated the upload.

“Nothing.” She looked up at him, a funny smile on your face. “It’s just… I know you’re not the Doctor and Rose I know, but listening to you talk… it’s like nothing has changed. The Doctor and Rose Tyler, always perfect partners.”

The Doctor looked up and met Rose’s gaze with a half smile. To his surprise, Melody groaned loudly. “If either of you say the word, ‘Forever,’ I swear I’m going to be sick,” she threatened.

Rose laughed while the Doctor sputtered, trying to find some sort of comeback to that. “Come on, you two,” she said as she flipped the last row of switches as the Doctor had instructed. “I’m ready over here.”

Melody and the Doctor exchanged a sheepish smile, and the Doctor pulled the connection from the TARDIS over to the Library’s motherboard. “Melody Pond,” the Doctor mused as he watched her expertly splice the cable in. “You are very good at that.”

Her eyes widened, and she smiled up at him. “Thank you, Doctor.” She bit her lip and bent over her work. “I’m getting everything finished except the last connection. I’ll do that at the end of the countdown,” she explained. “There'll be a blip in the command flow. That way it should improve our chances of a clean download.”

She spliced one more set of wires together as the computer warned them they only had two minutes left until the autodestruct. An awkward silence fell over the room after she stepped back; there were so many questions the Doctor wanted to ask, but if he’d taught Melody Pond how to connect two computer mainframes, there was no way he hadn’t taught her how to maintain timelines.

To his surprise, she was the one who broke the silence. “Why didn’t you and Rose warn me that our first meeting was out of order like this?” she asked quietly.

The Doctor sighed and raked his hand through his hair. “Because you didn’t know when we met you. We prepared you for it, though. Teaching you about avoiding spoilers and giving you the code words so we would trust you.”

Melody looked up at him. “But why not just tell me not to come to the Library?”

“Causality loop,” he explained. “Because we met you here, it’ll be impossible to avoid things that might set you on your path to becoming an archaeologist—even little things, like giving you your own sonic screwdriver. And because of your position, you were chosen to lead this expedition, and suspecting danger, you naturally asked us to join you, which ensured we would meet you here.”

“Basically, you met me here, so you had to make sure you would meet me here.”

The Doctor smiled at her succinct summary of his rambling explanation. “Basically.”

Melody wrinkled her nose. “Yeah… I’ve never really fancied the way time travel works,” she muttered.  

The Doctor frowned at her; there was something different about her voice… “You’re Scottish!” he realised, pinning down the trace of an accent that had slipped through.

“Autodesctruct in one minute.”

Melody shifted her gaze away from him. “No, but my mum is. I guess I have a bit of an accent when I’m tired or upset.”

The Doctor narrowed his eyes. He could see the faint lines around her mouth; she hadn’t wanted him to learn that piece of her past. Why would it matter if we know Melody’s mum is Scottish? He puzzled over that for a minute, then shrugged and let it go.

The computer started the final countdown and Melody took the two cables in hand. “My gloves should protect me from the sparks,” she told the Doctor.

“Well, the TARDIS infirmary can take care of you if they don’t,” Rose said as she took the Doctor’s hand.

Melody shook her head and laughed at them, then she connected the two cables in a flurry of sparks. The digital timer ticking down the seconds to the autodestruct froze on 00:01, and all three of them let out a breath of relief.

The TARDIS hummed loudly, making Rose and the Doctor both laugh. “I think she wants to take us all upstairs with everyone else.” Rose held the door open. “I won’t expect the bigger on the inside comment from you this time, Melody, but please tell me you said it the first time you walked inside.”

Melody winked at them as she ran her fingers over a strut. “Spoilers.”

Author’s note: When I was writing But Being Spent over two years ago, I realised that there's really no good reason the Doctor couldn't use the TARDIS to boost the computer power... except that the whole point of this story was to set River up as the Doctor's tragically lost future love. And if I didn't need her to be the person in his life that he already knew he lost, then I could feel free to save her life and let her go on living. So, here we have it--the great tragedy of the Library has been rewritten.

[neuro-undetermined]

Quarantine (Surreal Horror Story)

*tw: mention of hallucinations, going “crazy”, quarantine due to the current virus*

April 14th

It’s the 32nd day of isolation. I haven’t left the house in over a month at this point. Staying indoors is the best option, but I’ve been bored as hell. I thought starting a journal might help stave off the day-to-day monotony just a bit. Haven’t tried this since my angsty middle school days, but we’ll see where it goes. The only person I saw today was the delivery man who picked up my groceries for this week. His teeth were incredibly white. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone with such white teeth. Either that or I just haven’t seen another person in so long and I forgot what teeth look like. Maybe next time I get groceries I should order some whitening strips…

 April 17th

Day 35. Will this damn thing ever end? The only news is bad news and the death tolls keep rising exponentially. I haven’t seen my friends in so long and now all of our texts feel like the same conversation over and over again. I guess none of us are doing anything really. I can’t even remember the last time I heard from Janice. I wonder how she’s doing with the kids and that lazy husband of hers. I heard last week he called folding the laundry “emasculating.” Can you believe? Get off your ass and learn to fold your own underwear Greg!

Oh shit! The electricity went out! That’s just what I need right now, a pandemic and faulty wiring. I tried calling the electricity company, but all I got was a voicemail. Ugh. Maybe it’s just too late at night. I’ll try again tomorrow morning.

 April 19th

Day 37. I think? That’s what my phone and my computer say. But I could have sworn I went to bed on the 17th and just woke up. Maybe I just wrote the date down wrong on the last entry. I don’t know. I’m going crazy anyways. Good news is the electricity is back! They must have just had a faulty cable or something. I tried watching the news again today. Same pretty people in nice pressed clothes telling us all how bad it is and then trying to inspire hope and say it will all be over soon. Ha! No one believes it, Karen. Not even you. On another note, I just got groceries a few days ago and all my snacks are already gone! I swear, by the time this is all over I will have eaten my own weight in Bugles.

 April 21st

Day 39. A funny thing happened today. This long without human contact has just made me go bonkers. I was sitting around doing nothing, you know like usual. Then I heard my doorbell ring. I swear I never ordered anything. I looked out the door, but no one was there. So I opened the door, and sitting right at my front step…was groceries! All the stuff I was out of too. I wander if the neighbors are handing out care packages. If so, we must have the same taste in food, because they left all the stuff I normally eat. There were Bugles, Oreos, turkey meat (I hate ham), grapefruits. Who puts grapefruit in a care package? That’s kind of a risky move considering how many people don’t like it and how many people shouldn’t be eating it due to medical complications. Oh well, I think it’s delicious. Maybe once this is all over I should try to actually get to know my neighbors. They seem cooler than I thought.

 April 25th

I’m losing my mind. This is it. This is how I end up in a psychiatric hospital singing old nursery rhymes to myself. It’s been over a month and I just realized I don’t remember seeing a single drop of rain. I live in Oregon…in the spring. It should never stop raining. But there has been no rain or snow or any precipitation to speak of. It’s been blue or slightly grey skies all month. But here’s the real kicker…all my plants are as healthy as they have ever been. I don’t have a sprinkler system (because again, Oregon), and if I did I wouldn’t have it running this early in the year. The grass and trees here can’t survive on no water for nearly 6 weeks, but they almost look better than ever. I mean I’m not complaining. It’s just...weird.

 April 28th

Okay, okay, okay. I need to calm down. I need to take a couple deep breathes and calm down. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. I’m officially hallucinating. I was in my backyard sunbathing (again, still no rain). I opened my eyes briefly and caught a glimpse of something in my oak tree more than 20 feet up. It was a creature. The top half looked like a person…sort of. It had a head and two other appendages, let’s just say that. But the bottom half. The bottom half kind of reminded me of an ant, if ants had about a dozen more legs. And it was massive. I must have been hallucinating because there was no way the tiny tree branch it was on could have held the weight of a creature that big. It immediately swiveled its head towards me and I nearly screamed. It crawled? Slunk? Skittered? behind the tree trunk and just was gone! Once I willed myself to move again, I sprinted into the house and locked the door. I almost called 911, but stopped. Like they would believe me? A lonely woman who’s been stuck indoors for nearly two months reports seeing a monster from 30 feet away just “disappear into a tree.” Yeah right. I really am crazy. It might be worth it to get out of the house just to stave off the cabin fever a little bit.

 April 30th

I haven’t gone outside again. I know I need to. I know it would help my mental health. But I just can’t. I’m too afraid that thing is going to be there again. Hallucination or not, I think if I saw it again I would have a heart attack. Every time I try to leave the front door I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m just too scared. I just feel like it’s watching me. I’ve closed all the blinds and checked the locks I don’t know how many times. Also I don’t know if it’s just me, but the same news that was shown yesterday is on the TV again today. It’s almost like it’s looping the same story over and over again.

   May?????

This is officially the end. I am never going to make it out of this quarantine. I woke up this morning on the couch and when I went to get up, something crunched under my feet. It was my computer and my cell phone. Someone had taken a knife to both of them and left it at my feet! Of course I checked all the windows and locks, but they were all fine! Now I have no idea what day it is. I sort of know what time it is, but I never bothered to reset the digital clocks in my house when the electricity went out. I won’t even know when they end quarantine! The news on the TV is definitely set to loop every couple hours. It’s just the same thing over and over again. Oh god, do I even hear myself? This is all crazy! No one just trashes their electronics in a blind rage and then just forgets about it! I need…I need…I don’t know what I need. I need to leave.

 ????

It’s hopeless. I’m stuck. Those things, the creatures, are all over my house. They won’t go away. They skitter up the walls and back down the walls, over the windows and across the yard. There’s always at least one sitting, watching the front of the house. And one at the back of the house. They aren’t trying to get in. They’re just…there. I don’t know what they’re doing, but the pitter patter of their appendages running up and down the walls keeps me up at night. Maybe I’m just crazy. Am I crazy?

 Am I?

[libraford]

The Glue Famine of 2017

On February 6th, 2017, I ranted colorfully about a constant depletion of glue from retail stores due to a growing trend of children making glue slime. (To the many of you asking, ‘what the fuck is glue slime,’ here is a video of an excitable man showing you how to make it. A mixture of glue and borax.) The rant has become absurdly popular and just as absurdly long. 

I’m sure that people are just as tired of seeing it clog up their dashboards as I am of listening to angry parents use me as a receptacle for their repressed rage. So I have decided to perform a condensed recap in order to deliver the updates on my diminishing tolerance for humans in a much more digestible size. 

If you have been following along thus far, you may skip to the bolding below. For the rest... this is an exercise in foreshadowing. 

It was December 18th when we noticed that the glue was all gone. “Perhaps they’re using it all for Christmas projects,” offered one worker. “Perhaps they have a lot of crafting to do,” said another. 

But then came the phone calls: “Do you have any glue?” “Do you have any styrofoam pellets?” “Do you have any borax?”

Borax. Borax- of course!

They’re making slime! Someone must have taught it in a science class, I thought. And now they want to show their friends! Kids are so cute. 

But then the phone calls became more frequent, urgent: “Glue?” “Clear glue?” “Borax?” “Shaving cream, contact lens solution, glue?” “Glue glue glue?” “Where is the glue?” “Why don’t you have any glue?” “WHY DOESN’T ANYONE HAVE ANY GLUE?!”

I did what I always do when unreasonable quantities of singular items have suddenly reached an apex of ridiculous popularity: I ask the Internet. An article lands in my lap (literally, because my only computer is a laptop) about how glue slime has become popular. Thousands of videos of people playing with slime. At least a hundred tutorials. A lot of people use it to stim. Cool! 

The other part is about how kids who make it are selling it. There is an entire market in the 7-17 demographics bracket based around the buy, sell, and trade of non-newtonian fluids. People are selling by the ounce. 

And just like any other thing that happens in this town, the parents have gone completely bonkers that their children jumped on the trend a day late and start blaming us. Because it is entirely our fault that this trend blindsided everyone. People begin showing us just how little they know about working in retail by asking why we ‘don’t just order more glue?’ They feel that it is an affront, a personal insult to them, that we are refusing to do this specifically because of their requests and we are clearly anarchists bent on dismantling this oppressive system. 

But I digress. Ah yes- the glue. 

Just as we were beginning to give up, thinking that the glue famine was going to mark the abrupt end of the trend, I am tasked with setting up an endcap specifically for glue slime. 

With all the bottles of glue we don’t have. 

The glue slime display posed empty and yearning for two weeks before suddenly, miraculously, we were given a huge shipment of glue. Huge! Almost enough to fill the endcap! Yes! Finally, we could give the people what they want!

This was on President’s Day Weekend. It was empty by Monday. 

We played this tug-of-war between supply and demand for weeks and weeks until we finally started getting enough in per week to keep the endcap full. We began carrying it by the gallons! Gallons of glue were selling out by the end of the week, filling again on Thursday, only to be voraciously depleted by Saturday morning. People were still angry. We had become used to the angry. Boisterous shouts had become the rhythmic breath of the store- rising each weekend and falling to inhale by Monday. 

But we had reached an equilibrium. I could see an end to the madness. 

And this brings us to April.

I was promoted to shipping operations. The glue slime endcap was likewise promoted to drive aisle. 

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I take the monthly event calendar with me as reading material. They have me manage the classes and family events and it helps to prepare. 

I flip to the final page and what do I see?

And which poor soul is scheduled to lead this class? 

This is the moment where I realized that I was doomed to a sticky mess regardless of what position I held in this company. At least this time it wasn’t going to be a biological hazard.  Probably. 

But here’s the kicker: 

Because we don’t sell baking soda, borax, shaving cream, or contact lens solution, we technically can’t have the kids make the slime themselves. 

We have to make it and then bring it in for them to customize as they please. 

Our manager leaves in the middle of the day to get supplies to do a test run because she has never made glue slime before and wants to test the recipe that the Company gave us. She comes back to the break room as I am coming back from lunch. 

Over the headset, I hear: “Oh my god, it’s sticky!”

I find an amusing sort of symmetry in the fact that this is the same manager whose response to the aforementioned biological hazard was “oh my god, it’s chunky!”

This is that ‘foreshadowing’ thing I mentioned earlier. 

The days leading up to this event have filled everyone involved with it with dread and meticulous preparation. An entire gallon of slime has been made prior to the event and portioned into Easter eggs to ration each child’s daily allotment of slime. Little cups of glitter, beads, sequins, plastic animals, googly eyes, and (enigmatically) pom poms have been filled and set onto a table covered in paper for easy cleanup. 

We have been chanting to ourselves: “It’s only two hours, it’s only two hours, it’s only two hours.” This has become the heartbeat, a chant between raucous breaths of angry parents. 

We have played out every possible scenario that could happen and built a contingency plan around every problem. Our armor is on. We have backup. 

We are ready for battle. 

And now, submitted for your approval, I bring you to to today- April 8th. 

Which is, by some weird coincidence and because the fates like a good laugh, also my girlfriend’s birthday. 

I am told at the beginning of my shift that I need to change my shirt because I smell like sweat and my manager is concerned that the parents will find it offensive for me to smell like a human being who has been trying to work out the tail end of a fever for three weeks. 

Despite the fact that I’m going to be the one heading this thing, it is the managers who are the most nervous about its outcome. I’m the one preparing to drive myself deeper into my own madness. But sure- you can be the one worried about a vaguely salty scent in a room full of slime progeny. 

There is another class that I have to teach before I do the SLIME BAR and it’s just some silly little Easter craft object of little significance. I get to the end of the class and I start having dangerous thoughts. 

What if no one shows up?

This does not come from nowhere. In the sixty classes that I’ve been asked to teach since my title change, I have had people attend a grand total of ten. There are at least five easter egg hunts in the area, several pre-easter celebrations, and some kind of... soccer thing that are all happening at the same time as the SLIME BAR. 

Maybe no one will show up. 

As the word ‘up’ dies away in mental echoes, a woman pops her head into my classroom. 

“Is this the slime thing?”

I severely underestimated the siren call of the slime bar. 

“This is where we’re having it, but it doesn’t start until 1.”

She grumbles and disappears. 

If I do not eat lunch now, I will likely faint headfirst into a puddle of glitter. I leave for lunch. I return from lunch at 12:30 and there is already a line forming at the door of the classroom. 

“Is this the slime thing?” It’s not the same woman as before, but a near-identical woman with the exact same poultry-esque haircut. 

“It doesn’t start until one, ma’am.”

She folds her arms at her chest. “I can wait,” she says in a tone that indicates that no she certainly will not wait.

I quickly begin setting out the individually-portioned cups of glitter and other inclusions, the slime-filled eggs, the parchment paper. I hear a murmur outside, getting louder and louder and louder... more agitated. 

The door opens and a co-worker comes in. “There’s a line of like... twenty people out there,” she says. The room is built to house, at most, twelve.

“Please tell me you’re here to help.”

“I have been... encouraged to help.”

“Extra hours?”

“Extra hours.”

The people of the retail world all speak the same language. It is a  tired language.

It becomes one-o-clock and they all file in. All twenty four, standing around the table because they apparently didn’t understand me when I said ‘come in, have a seat.’ I call a framer to get us some extra chairs, which I suppose made that a little easier. 

Immediately, a little girl starts crying because she was under the impression that we were going to have them make the slime instead of customizing it and this has thrown a wrench in her entire day. She is not the only one who is upset over this development because apparently all anyone ever saw in the flier was ‘MAKE’ and ‘SLIME’ and all the other parts were decidedly unimportant details. Eight of the kids are upset, three are crying. Oh good- they’re learning disappointment early. 

 Each of the kids grabs an egg and they start smooshing whatever particulate they can find into brightly-colored semi-solids and the crying uplifts to joyous discovery as they learn all the ridiculous things they can do with slime. Despite all the various things we have provided for them, they only want to work with glitter. 

A tiny human poured the entire contents of a bowl of glitter into her hand and looked me square in the eye.

“What would happen,” she pondered. “If I...” She mimed the action of throwing glitter in the air.

“I would prefer it if you didn’t.”

And then she fucking does. Tiny fistfuls of sparkly particulate go shooting into the windless air, arching artfully over the table before scattering into everyone’s personal space. People are mad. 

She knew full well what would happen. I can see it in her shit-eating grin full of tiny, perfectly square teeth. 

I predicted this. I saw the future and the words ‘glitter’ and ‘sticky’ came up in my crystal ball. Mind you, I’m getting paid just above minimum wage here- so the crystal ball is more like... an overturned fishbowl. 

I look at my watch. It has been twelve minutes. 

As the first wave of families starts to take their oozing babies away to hopefully cleaner activities, a man comes in with his twelve-year-old daughter. 

“We’ll have you sign in,” I told him. “Name and phone number in case of an emergency.” The girl joins the rest of the glitter monsters while I speak with her dad. 

“This thing ends at 3:00, right?”

“We are holding the event until 3, but the activity itself takes about fifteen minutes.”

“I’ll come back in an hour just to be sure.”

“It’s only fifteen minutes.”

“Yeah, an hour.”

He turns around and leaves. 

The girl is done in less than fifteen minutes and begins asking where her dad is. “I’m sure he’s in the store.”

The girl does not seem impressed or convinced by this answer. At the half-hour mark, she’s getting tired of waiting for him and my co-worker escorts her out into the store to see if he’s anywhere. Nowhere to be found. 45 minutes, still missing. They call him.

Now, there is a sign prominently displayed in the room saying that we are happy to keep an eye on any children left in our care, but we kindly ask that any parents or guardians stay on the premises in case of emergency. 

Where is he?

At home with his feet up. He finally arrives at 2:15 to get her and if that went on any longer, I was going to call Child Protective Services because holy shit, you just dropped your kid off in the care of complete strangers juggling two dozen children at any given time. 

According to the girl, he always does this. Including one time where he made her wait three hours to pick her up from school because he was watching television. 

I don’t make it a habit of judging a person’s child-rearing techniques because I don’t intend on having them myself but HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS. 

WHY?

WHY?

But that’s done. It’s done. 

It is now 2:30 and the influx of children has slowed to a trickle. The initial urgency to do the slime glue thing has waned and there are now only a few people in the room. We can breathe. 

I do a final count on the roster. Fifty-two. 

Fifty-two. Four dozen excited slime children have come and gone in two hours. This is a lot of things to happen in a short amount of time. But it is almost over now. It’s almost done. 

A small child toddles up to me and hands me an egg.

“I made this for you because I love you.”

And that was the last of them. 

There are four messages on my phone, all from my girlfriend asking me when I was supposed to be out of work, that her parents were here and that they were all going to dinner. 

So I clean up as fast as I possibly can, wipe down everything, sweep, throw out the rejected slime experiments, put things away, scan the used items out of our inventory and I am out of the classroom as fast as I can be. 

But on my way back to the break room to clock out, the framer catches my attention and has a customer ask me: “How do you make glue slime?”

My cells are vibrating with urgency and anger. JUST. GOOGLE. IT. Just fucking google it. You have all the information in the world available to you in the form of an overheated black rectangle in the palm of your hand. 

“Glue. Water. Borax.” These are the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little mess. 

BYE.

Flying out the door now because my girlfriend is urgently asking where I am, she’s worried. They’re tired of waiting for me and want to move on.

I arrive at the pizza parlor thirty minutes late and covered in a fine layer of glitter. There is a googly eye stuck to my butt. 

Her parents know me well enough to know that this is not unusual. 

And the upsetting part is...

.... I know that this is not where the story ends.