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itsabouttimex2 · 3 months ago

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Y/N’s not the Beloved?

(At least, not at first)

Thinking so hard about Y/N just… not being the “beloved” in the yandere dynamics, and instead being the “neglected” party.

Just, like-

It’s not that Sun Wukong and Macaque don’t love you for being their precious adopted kiddo, but… you’re “just” a person, and you don’t have a tail or fur to groom like them. You can’t climb as well as they can, and you don’t have fangs. And you just aren’t strong enough to keep up.

So there’s this inherent disparity, and you feel sometimes more like a guest than a member of the family.

But then MK’s rock comes along! And then it hatches and there’s a new little monkey in the family for them dote on! They have a new baby, one that’s just like them!

In a way that you just… aren’t.

You just can’t compare. Sure, they still love you- you’re never hungry or cold, your clothes are plentiful, and they still support your interests, but…

They just don’t love you like they love him.

Because MK gets the nicest things, in all the ways you didn’t. He gets brand new clothes just right for a growing boy with a true form that fractures in and out of existence. But many of your “new” clothes have to be hastily sewn up because they’re hand-me-downs from Papa, and they had ear and tail slits- they were made for Mystic Monkeys, after all!

(And you aren’t one of them, no matter how hard you try to be.)

And MK gets his favorite foods and snacks whenever he asks, no matter how far Baba has to travel or how many stores his clones have to trawl to find those illusive treats. And when he digs in, you think of the times Papa taught you to “appreciate” his hard work in the kitchen by making you eat every bite of a meal he made, even if you gagged and coughed through it… but MK gets full impunity to have sides replaced whenever he decides a food is “yucky” without even trying it.

You got gifts for being well-behaved or accomplishing goals, but MK gets them for simply asking. You got money by doing extra chores or babysitting the mountain monkeys. MK is given it because your dads are in a good mood.

Not to mention how many of your hobbies and free days are undermined because you “need” to babysit the favorite child.

So on, and so forth.

And then one day it all grinds to a peak and you can’t take the favoritism anymore, so you eventually have the quietest messy breakdown known to man in the ungodly hours of the morning. When you finally manage to pull yourself together, the decision is promptly made- with a tightly-packed bag in tow, you sneak out through a window, clamber down the house walls, and disappear beyond the horizon.

And Macaque and Wukong are devastated, obviously. Sure, you aren’t the “beloved”, which is clearly MK, but you’re still their baby!

BUT! It gets even worse, because for all the worry in their hearts, MK is even worse!

He throws tantrums and rejects food and has uncontrollable fits where he bites bloody marks into his arms through hysteric tears. And even when the kiddo isn’t screaming his bloodied little mouth off, it’s only to scream for you to come back.

So, while they would’ve always made an honest effort to bring you back home (this is your home, even if it doesn’t always feel like it), having their “beloved” child start to genuinely harm himself over your absence only ramps up the efforts to get their first kid back.

“Open the door,” comes your papa’s tempered voice, barely second after you’ve registered the knock. “C’mon, kiddo. We need to talk.”

His foot meets the wooden door, tapping and testing the strength- not that there was really any question he could clear the flimsy barrier.

Tap. Tap.

At the pause, you drop everything and scramble into the closet, right as Macaque kicks through the door with a huff. The leather of his boot catches the light with a dark gleam, but he retracts it and readies for another blow.

“You in, Mac?”

“Not yet- I missed.”

His next strike lands true, shredding the cheap doorknob out of place so forcefully that it tears through the glass window behind it and disappears into the bushes behind the hotel, entirely flattened into a copper disk.

“Not bad,” cheers Wukong, peering into the wrecked room. “Not bad at all, bud!”

With a hand clasped over your mouth to muffle the sound of shallow breathing, you hunker down and wait- with a bitter thought at how casual they are about all this.

Didn’t they realize how badly hurt you were by the unabashed favoritism, the constant coming in second, the unending isolation?

How could they treat this like a casual outing?

“Alright, bud- pack your bags and put on something warm! We’re heading home!

Just barely you manage to bite back a cry of frustration over this miserable circumstance, expected to return to a home that had essentially shunted you aside.

“C’mon, brat. Did you really think we’d let you spend any more time in this hellhole? The mountain is a lot safer, anyways.”

You don’t even realize that Macaque is reaching into the closet until he has your upper arm in his hold, pulling until you’ve cleared the wooden threshold molding between your sanctuary and the living space.

Barely even on your feet, Wukong is upon you with a scarf, wrapping it tight and finishing with a neat bow.

“You know, MK really missed you,” he sighs, thinking of tantrums that spanned hours and the smell of mold in the kitchen when food the child flung had spilled under the counter and gone unnoticed for far too long.

Why should you care that their baby was suffering?

But whether you care or not (and they’re certainly not waiting for your opinion), they’re going to take you “home”.

With Wukong’s hand to wrap around your shoulders and Macaque’s to grip your wrist, they slowly march the way back to the precious little Mystic Monkey that you’ve come to hate.

And though your heart turns over at the sight of MK wailing on the floor, there’s this strange discomfort that arises when they call it that:

“Y/N is back!”

and it prompts an immediate end of his formerly hysterical waterworks?

Because he runs to you and throws both of his chubby little arms around your legs, demanding that you “never ever leave again!” and both of your dads are right behind him, because their son gets whatever he wants, when he wants it-

And what MK wants is you.

#Platonic Yandere #Yandere Lego Monkie Kid #Yandere LMK #Yandere MK #Yandere Sun Wukong #Yandere Macaque #Monkiefam #Shadowpeach #Yandere Father #Yandere Brother #TW: Self Harm #Not The Beloved

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bekolxeram · 5 months ago

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Continuing on the theme of things I've missed while S7 was airing, we have to talk about the (failed) first date. I admit it gave me too much second hand embarrassment that I usually skipped it on a rewatch. Once I managed to brave through that I realized I did miss something important, so here is another scene breakdown. Again, it's just my own interpretation.

The title of 7x05 is You Don't Know Me, that seems to be the theme of the episode: the Wilsons figuring out Mara's trauma, Eddie finding out Marisol's former nun training, Buck trying to navigate the whole dating a man thing, but they all end up making an effort to make the relationship work.

The date scene starts at the end of the actual date. We don't see much of the getting to know each other stuff, but judging by their faces, it's gone pretty well. At this point they don't know about each other's movie preference yet, so Tommy picks a place where they can decide on arrival, with Buck's input. That also signifies the nature of this date, they're literally "keeping their options open" and just seeing where it goes, without any major expectation.

Buck still seems visibly nervous, but Tommy reassures him that they're just two guys having dinner, it's a very ordinary thing that nobody cares.

Buck pretends he's at ease, Tommy points out he seems a little tensed, but he understands Buck's worry. Tommy speaks about the masculine nature of their job and tells Buck that people are more accepting than he thinks, which sounds awfully like it's from experience.

I think Buck sees it too, so he asks Tommy, who seems perfectly confident in his sexuality and masculinity, if he's been always out on a job. Tommy tells Buck about the 118 under G*rrard, this explains to the audience why Tommy seemed to be straight and a part of the boys club back in S2.

So Tommy was at least aware of or questioning his sexuality at the 118. Mr. "my girlfriend is totally coming next week" and "single is much easier than scaring women" was full blown lying about his sexual orientation. Chances are he does understand Buck's nervous fumbling, as he's probably done worse in the past.

Here comes the seemingly recurring theme of Buck making things all about himself, whether you agree with this or not, he does have a tendency to get stuck in his own head. Tommy assures him yet again that he's not accusing Buck of anything, he's just sharing his own experience to empathize.

Tommy looks a bit surprise when Buck tells him it's his first date with a dude. It's probably new information to Tommy.

And then Buck tries showing Tommy that he holds no prejudice towards queerness because he's an ally, completely oblivious to the fact that he's also one of them. Tommy tries to follow as much as he can.

Tommy senses that Buck is spiraling, trying to pull out random stuff just to bring the date back on track, so he flirts with him just to lighten up the mood and for the third time of the night, reassure him of his interest in him and the rest of the night.

Then Eddie and Marisol walk in, and Buck panics. I know Buck tells Maddie later that he "makes it seem like they were just hanging out", but if you go back to this scene, Tommy is the one who covers for Buck and takes the initiative to agree with Eddie and tell him they're just doing normal bro hangout stuff.

7 seaons in, we all know Buck doesn't have the best luck with first dates. The more he likes someone, the more likely it is for him to mess it up. So of course he has to self-sabotage here and drag Tommy into the closet with him, even though Tommy's already covered for him and Eddie is ready to move on. Tommy doesn't like mad here, he looks disappointed.

For what it's worth, Buck's hot chick comment actually makes things worse. Look at how confused Eddie's reaction is.

This snarky joke from Tommy has caused some controversy among part of the fandom. Some believe that Tommy could've outed Buck with it, but I beg to differ. Eddie knows Buck very well, Buck has always dated women. On the other hand, Eddie has never heard of Tommy dating a woman, he might have attributed it to the recency of their friendship, but that's why he immediately makes the connection in his head that Tommy is gay when Buck comes out to him later in the episode. Even if Eddie had superhuman intuition and understood the double entendre of this closet comment, Tommy would be outing himself, not Buck.

Here is another controversial moment: Tommy doesn't explain anything to Buck until the Uber is here, and he just leaves him there. First, Buck is a grown man, he can get himself home, there is no concern for his safety. Second, Tommy has every right to leave the date if he doesn't vibe with it. When Tommy tells Buck he's adorable, I don't think he's referring to Buck's overall demeanor. I think he means that Buck's nervous fumbling into queerness doesn't scare him, he actually finds it quite endearing. But after reassuring him 3 times, even going as far as telling Eddie, someone they can trust, that they're just hanging out, Buck still feels the need to make the hot chick comment and push them both into the closet, Tommy realizes that things would not go any better if they continue the date. Buck has not fully processed the fact that he's bisexual and he's dating a man. I'm sure Tommy really likes Buck as well, he want to make it work, so to him, the best course of action at the moment is to take a step back and let Buck figure things out himself first.

To Buck this may sound like Tommy is letting him down easy, but I think Tommy is consciously not shutting anything down here. He absolutely will see Buck around, he's still Eddie's friend. Tommy knows they will have to talk about it in the future, but for now, it's best to put a pause on things just to give Buck some space to process. What Tommy doesn't know is that Buck has been dumped so many times that he thinks this is it.

Therefore, not only does Tommy never intend to out Buck during the date, he is willing to keep things ambiguous for Buck's comfort. Ultimately, it isn't enough for Buck, so Tommy takes a step back for Buck to figure things out on his own.

#bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #tevan #kinley #911 abc #scene breakdown

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silhouetteonpaper · 3 months ago

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Public Figure

Summary: The world wants to know all about you as the newest addition to the Avengers. But what happens when a normal interview session digs up something you’ve never told a soul… not even Natasha? Natasha Romanoff x Reader WC: 1,616 Warnings: Mentions of killing

“A new addition to the Avengers leaves the city on the edge of their seats as we all wait to hear more about this young recruit. A public Q&A with the new Avenger in question is set to take place this week. Stay tuned for more coverage on all things current…”

You turn the volume of the TV down, your commitment to attending this public event starting to fill you with regret. It’s been a week of officially being a part of the team, and to say the city is going crazy would be an understatement.

“How’re you feeling?” Natasha sits down beside you on the couch, eyeing the TV as the newscaster spews more words about you and the rest of the team.

You shrug, rubbing your forehead to try and push away the increasing stress. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.”

“It’s okay to be nervous.” She consoles you, but you’re aware she doesn’t know the real reason why you’re so anxious about the whole ordeal.

“What if the world isn’t ready for… someone like me?” You ask, partially rhetorically—but something in you hopes Nat has a real answer. The city has created turmoil over certain Avengers in the past, and the last thing you want is to cause commotion. All you’re trying to do is save the world, which you’d think would make everyone like you. Unfortunately, it’s never that simple.

Natasha takes a deep breath, seeming to search her brain for the right words. “Look, it’s up to you how you present yourself, but you can’t control how everyone else sees you. I know for a fact you’ve done so much good here, and that’s all I care about.” Nat offers you a smile.

You wish you could return it, but something inside you churns with guilt. “What about my past? All those records… someone’s likely to dig them up. It’ll make me look like the monster I used to be—or maybe still am…” You become lost in your own thoughts, the idea of someone digging up your past haunting your present.

A part of you has never let go of the person you used to be, in the off chance someone betrays your trust or sets you up for failure. You’re physically a different person now, making great waves with the Avengers, doing good all around the world—but that doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten about the person you left behind before moving into the compound.

“If they go low enough to do that to you, we can deal with it,” Natasha’s continued support pulls you out of your thoughts. “You know I understand that better than anyone. Do I look worried?” She raises her eyebrows.

You finally smile, shaking your head. “No, but that’s not fair because you never look worried.”

“Because there’s nothing to be worried about.”

The day of the event finally arrives, and you’re already on the verge of a breakdown. Natasha has prepped everything ahead of time so you wouldn’t have to use extra energy, starting with the freshly ironed outfit hanging in your closet.

You feel mostly prepared when it’s time to drive over to the venue, two of your biggest supporters right at your side. Tony and Natasha are even more ready than you are, the pair ready to defend any harmful questions and comments.

As great as it is to have such powerful people at your side, it only does so much to aid the growing nerves inside you. “Breathe. This’ll be over before you know it. We just need to answer some questions, let them get to know you, and then we’ll go celebrate.” Natasha explains with a calm voice.

You only manage to nod as you worry talking will expel all the air in your lungs. As soon as the sleek van arrives outside the tall pillared building, you’re greeted by a storm of paparazzi camera flashes. Nat warned you about this, but nothing could have prepared you for the intense crowd shoving cameras and microphones your way.

Tony attempts to hold off the extra pushy photographers, but he can only do so much swimming upstream. As soon as you make it into the building, there’s no time to take a breath as a crowd of important looking people sit staring directly at you.

Breath. Natasha mouths, offering yet another warm smile. You take a deep breath, heading forward with one foot in front of the other.

A facilitator guides the three of you to a table on a raised stage, the perfect amount of room for three to sit at the microphone-filled surface. You find a spot right in the middle, knowing exactly what’s coming the second you sit down.

“Question!”

“Over here!

“Miss, question!”

A caucus of voices fills the room, soon being silenced as the facilitator calls on one. “Ma’am, please describe to us the superhuman capabilities you bring to the team.”

You swallow thickly while leaning into the bouquet of microphones. “Well, uhm… I can manipulate energy. Turning off lights, powering machines, emitting beams of light… uh, yeah.” You lean back, taking another deep breath.

The sudden eruption of voices makes you jump, the facilitator following the same routine and calling on another person. “Does the team feel that these abilities have the possibility to be dangerous?”

You knew it was coming, a question like this. Natasha sees your frozen state and is quick to comment before you have the chance. “Anyone can be dangerous with the wrong intentions. We wouldn’t have recruited her if we didn’t feel she was a great asset. Not only is she doing well in training, she’s exceeding our original expectations.” You nod at her in thanks, getting one in return.

“What do you have to say about the murder of Jean Ridley?” An interviewer juts in. Your mouth goes dry, any response unable to form. The cacophony of voices fills the room as you go completely quiet. Jean Ridley, the young girl who was just trying to live her life, in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Back when you were on your streak of crime—before the Avengers took you in—you wouldn’t hesitate to demolish anything in your path to succeed. Including the little girl who didn’t even know what she was a part of. In an attempt to terminate a larger target, Jean just happened to be a casualty. An even larger casualty than you realized at the time.

“I implore you to ask our newest recruit questions about her current position, otherwise we’re done here.” Natasha’s voice brings you back from the overflowing guilt spreading across your mind like wildfire. You slide your hands under the table as they begin to shake, attempting to press them against your thighs before anyone has a chance to see the weak criminal that somehow made it onto the team.

Natasha looks at you and nods, her gaze quickly darting to your hands before she places her own on top. The shaking is soothed, but your nerves aren’t. The crowd of voices continues as the flood of worry destroys your mind. Everyone knows your past now, and there’s nothing you can do to hide it.

The rest of the interview session goes as smooth as it could have, the last of the inappropriate questions ending when Tony finally threatened to expose every document the council is holding, his defense being ‘if I can find it, it’s public information.’

The drive home is silent, but that’s not to say you don’t feel the pressure of Natasha’s eyes on you the whole way back. As soon as you arrive at the compound, you make a swift escape to your room. The only thing you want is to hide yourself from the rest of the world, your entire past seeming to chase you back into the dark abyss you came from.

The second your door slams shut, the noise stops. All the voices in your head screaming you’re a monster, you’ll never be a hero, get trapped in the hallway. The silence is peaceful, no shouting interviewers or civilians with snide questions. Just you and the cold surface of the door on your back.

But it’s unfortunately short lived as a soft knock sounds. You move away from the door, already guessing the person standing on the other side. The overwhelming tornado of insecurities topples into your room as the Widow walks in, a concerned expression painted on her face.

You already know what’s coming, a long winded pep-talk about how you’re more than your past. You don’t even bother lifting your head when Natasha bends down beside you.

“Look,” Her sudden firmness takes you by surprise. “What they said was wrong, but you can’t control what others say or do. You can either sit here and weep, or get out there and prove to them they’re wrong.”

Natasha’s words leave you speechless as your gaze slowly finds her. She’s looking directly at you, her green eyes warm yet expression stern. That’s when you realize you don’t have a choice.

Again and again, Natasha has directed you onto the best path. From recruiting you for the Avengers, to training you, to avoiding utter chaos in the face of the public eye—Nat’s proved she knows what she’s talking about.

“I know it’s hard to keep moving forward when the entire world is trying to paint you as something you’re not, but the only thing you can do is show them who you really are.” She affirms, her eyes still stuck on you.

And in this moment, you know she’s right. There’s no reason to sit here in self pity, rehashing the past that won’t ever just disappear no matter how hard you shove it down. The only thing you can do—the only thing left to do—is prove them all wrong. To show them the hero you can truly be.

#marvel #mcu #the avengers #marvel fanfic #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader

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kenjakusbraincum · 11 months ago

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Walls

Sukuna x Reader

A small addition to Vows

Synopsis: Two scenes exploring the first times reader and Sukuna respectively break down in the face of reader's terminal illness. Tags/Warnings: sick!gn!reader, master/pet dynamics, angst, hurt/comfort. (Chronologically takes place after reader and Sukuna talk about him taking new pets in the original fic!) Word count: 1.2k Author's note: This is probably as vulnerable as I'll ever write Sukuna :3

You tried to be strong. So long, so hard you tried to be untouchable. You knew sukuna hates weaklings. But you're in so much pain. You can barely swallow anything properly with how sore your throat is from the coughing. It takes so much out of you, physically and mentally, to pretend that this harrowing illness is nothing, and that you're somehow okay with it and ready to die. You're not. You don't want to die. You don't want this life that you've built with Sukuna to end. At least not as abruptly as it seems it will happen. One day you just can't pretend anymore.

Sukuna always asks if you're doing okay. He hopes that one day he'll hear you say yes. But you don't. You mutter a quiet no, and hope the topic would quickly. Not quickly enough. Because you break down crying. It starts small, your usual, timid little crying, but as you talk through it, the weight of your illness presses down on you like a rock - and you break. Loud, helpless. Hysterical bawling, the crying that leaves you breathless, the crying that drains you of everything you have and more.

And Sukuna doesn't know what to do - usually telling you to stop would work, because you would obey his every word, no questions asked. But this is different, this isn't your usual crying about something small, something you aren't allowed to do or something mean Sukuna said. This is a honest, heart wrenching breakdown that has been impending for a while. And he can't tell you to stop - because you can't stop. All he can do is hold you tight, and remind you to breathe.

There's nothing he can do. Healing you is a double edged sword, that provides relief, but at the cost of crashing hopes when the symptoms return. They always return. How useless of him. He can't properly comfort you because he's so detached from human emotions and interactions, he can't save you from this hardship... And he can hardly make it any easier. All he can do is sit with his guilt, little weeping you curled up in his arms, and... that salty drop of liquid that just escaped from his eye to his lip. What was that? Is he?... No, it's impossible.

Of course, reader falls asleep quickly after this. Sukuna stands up to leave, but he finds himself unable to part his stare from the bloody napkins and abandoned crochet projects by your bed. Tea gone cold and plates still full of food and sweets that you didn't have the strength to consume. Clothes untouched, folded neatly in your closet - you don't change out of your sleepwear anymore. The doorknob to the terrace, the one that leads to the garden you love so much, gathering dust after days, weeks of being unopened. You used to go into the garden every day. Your descent is slow, like that of a flower, whose petals slowly dry and detach, until none are left. His favorite flower, the one he loved to admire every day, at every opportunity. The type of flower that grows, blooms once in a hundred years and more.

And Sukuna is a stone, was a stone, stoic and unshaken for the longest time. But he is not as he was before. Love spares no one. Love leaves no one unchanged. He breaks.

You're in his lap in the garden, during one of the last sunny days of autumn. He stares into the distance, lost in thought as he often is, but... his face looks different. Tense, with his brows furrowed and his lips tight. He looks worried, almost sad. You ask him what he's thinking about, and he hesitates. There's a lump in his throat, and you hear it in his voice when he finally speaks. Nothing. He should've said nothing. What a fool.

He tells you he struggles to imagine life without you. And then he looks at you, and you feel it so vividly. A punch to your gut, a knife to your heart. Oh. You know you're dying, but if you had even the slightest of doubts, it's gone now that Sukuna is opening up to you. Sukuna and vulnerability don't exactly go hand in hand.

You sit up and plant a kiss to his shoulder. You tell him what you believe to be true - that the pain is fleeting, and that one day he will be complete again, alone or with someone else in your place. He frowns at you, once more unwilling to accept that scenario. But you want that for him. You truly, wholy believe that he is worth your - and anyone else's love. That he's beautiful, he keeps you safe, provides for you, pleasures you, listens to you - what more can anyone ask for? There's a thousand humans who would die for a chance to be loved like that, who would be just as genuine and grateful as you - and he crumbles, telling you to just shut up! He turns his head in another direction, facing you with the veins popping in his neck. He should've known you would try to make it better. He should've known you wouldn't let him wallow in his misery.

You crawl closer, reaching your hand for his face and trying to pull it towards you, but he doesn't budge. He holds his breath. He really doesn't want you to see him like this. Weak, pathetic.

Sukuna. You call him by his name. So intimate, forbidden. So personal you don't think you've ever called him that outside his bed, and even then it was pried off your lips, pulled from the depths of your conscience, out of your control. Anyone else would've paid for the mistake of uttering his name with their lives. But it's nothing new that you have privileges others don't.

Sukuna. You wrap your arms around him and lean into a hug, and he accepts it, squeezing you so tight he almost leaves breathless. You kiss up his neck, his cheek - wet, and his lips, almost trembling as they touch yours. There's so much more you want to tell him - but he shushes you. Kisses you again, tells you to forget it, it will be fine. You're not sure if he's saying it to you or to himself.

You tell him you know, that's what you've been trying to say the whole time. Then you smile at him, that angelic smile of yours, and smooth your hands over his face, wiping the frown off of his face. What a magical little being you are, he thinks to himself as he savors your beauty. You always had the power to take his anger and turn it into love.

No, Sukuna doesn't think that he could ever scoop up another little human like you out of the crowd. For a moment he thinks maybe it's better that you die, simply because he fears how far he would keep falling for you if nothing stopped him. He thinks maybe he would've become a different man. A better man. But your fate is sealed, and with it, any and all hopes for a changed Sukuna. Soon you will breathe your last breath, and Sukuna will once again be a monster, unbound by anyone or anything. Free of the confines that you've passed upon him - the heaviness of a human conscience. Closer to the man he was before he met you. But never, ever the same again.

#sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk angst #sukuna angst #sukuna fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #this fic has authenticity points #bc it was written when i was sick with the same symptoms as original vows reader #so like if this actually sucks its bc i was genuinely sick #and if it doesnt thats bc i was in character lmaoooo #help..#vows

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aetherdoesthings · 3 months ago

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a new job pt. 2

forethoughts: apologies for my long hiatus; writer's block has been draining me mentally. anyways, i started playing honkai star rail :D. no spoilers for penacony pls i wanna see this through 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

notes: fem!reader, reader working for arlecchino, arlecchino being sweet? idk

Your head throbbed as consciousness came back to you. Unlike the hard mattress you normally slept on and the nonexistent pillows, your head was supported by several, a large puffy blanket covering your body. You were even in different clothes than you remembered yourself to be in; a pair of silk pajamas buttoned up instead of the large worn out oversized shirt. The change of scenery instantly made all fatigue and drowsiness disappear, as you shot up, head spinning around, grasping at the scenery around you. You were inside a well furnished room, the windows on the side of the bed open, the Fontainian breeze entering your room. All your stuff from your flat above the shop was on the nearby desk. Your heart pounded heavily inside your chest, as you planted the balls of your feet on the soft surface underneath you, allowing yourself to explore your surroundings to a better degree. Somewhere far, you could hear the sound of children, their cheerful laughter reaching up to the room you were in.

The doorknob twisted, stealing your attention as every nerve in your body went on high alert, your muscles tightening. The door opened, revealing a familiar figure, the sound of her heels muffled by the carpet as the woman walked towards you, those crimson eyes boring into your skull.

“Ah. Y/N. You’re awake. Perfect.” The Fourth of the Fatui Harbingers stated with a monotone voice, her hand moving towards your face. A rush of heat shot to your cheeks as the Knave ran her darkened thumb over your lips, feeling the cracks and grooves of your chapped lips. You swore you saw her own thin lips purse ever so slightly at the touch, displeased by your physical condition.

“W-Where am I?” You forced yourself to sputter out, in hopes of destroying the suffocating atmosphere around the two of you.

“Inside the House of Hearth. Since our last meeting, I took it upon myself to ensure you were properly settled into your job. All your belongings are on the desk.” Arlecchino said ever so matter-of-factly, as if she wasn’t fazed at all by the idea of breaking into your place while you were sleeping to move you into new territories without ever asking you if that was okay.

“If… that's alright with you. I understand for a normal human a sudden change like this is… daunting. However, this is to ensure the discreteness of the House’s location.” Arlecchino added, after noticing the shock and horror in your eyes.

You forced yourself to calm down, bottling up all your emotions now for a breakdown later as you faced the Harbinger. “I-It’s okay. I understand.”

“Excellent. I shall let you get dressed and ready for the day before giving you a tour of the House.” Arlecchino’s hand lingered on your cheek for a beat longer, her crimson eyes gazing into your dark pools. She removed her hand and departed before you could speak up, and thankfully you didn’t have to.

Accepting your fate, you changed into the clothes inside the closet, as another sense of uneasiness bubbling in your stomach at how the clothes perfectly fit your body. You brushed your teeth and washed your face, reminding you that this was the reality you were in. Not some fantasy or dream world. Stepping outside your bedroom, you found the Knave standing idly by the door, those red crosses instantly landing on your figure the moment you opened the door.

“You look wonderful in that.” Arlecchino mused, her lips curled upwards slightly as she beckoned for you to follow her. Looking back once to ensure you were behind her and not trying to escape, Arlecchino began her tour. You stayed by her side, listening to her explain the schematics of the House of Hearth and the history, though never delving into great details. She led you through the different halls and floors, until the two of you passed by the dining hall.

“Are you hungry?” The Harbinger asked, no sign of malice in her voice as she looked at you.

“U-Uh..” Before you could think of a convoluted lie so the tour could move on and end sooner, your stomach answered for you.

Your stomach churned as you heard the Knave let out a chuckle, your heart thudding at the sound as Arlecchino smiled at you. “I suppose you are. Come. Allow me to fetch you some breakfast.”

No. Why were you feeling this? This feeling of… longing. Longing to hear that chuckle again. Longing to see those lips curl upwards and those eyes bore into yours, a hypnotizing gaze that told you everything would be alright. No. This was the Knave. Arlecchino was a Fatui Harbinger. She killed people. The blood on her hands was far greater than you’d ever known.

But yet a part of you couldn’t help but keep thinking about Arlecchino possibly seeing you only in your undergarments and carrying you and tucking you in, a sense of joy and glee filling your heart.

“What would you like?” Arlecchino brought you over to the breakfast bar, waving and greeting the children that occupied the hall.

“Do you have pancakes?”

“Pan..cakes?” Arlecchino looked at you, confusion written all over her face.

“I-I like pancakes.” You mumbled under your breath when you realized she didn’t have a clue about what you were talking about.

Arlecchino instantly shook her head, her gaze softening as she granted you a small smile, immediately making you feel better. “I will ensure that the kitchen will make these.. pancakes of yours for you. How about some fruit and yogurt as a substitute for today?”

“Sure.”

“So, that concludes the tour.” Arlecchino cleared her throat, rummaging through the files on the cabinet behind her desk as she grabbed a piece of paper, placing it on the table in front of you. “Your employee contract. Sign it, and you will become a teacher at the House of Hearth.” Arlecchino listed several things that came along, as you sat on the plush chair reserved for the children that visited her offices. Every once in a while, she’d glance over at you, watching you eat your bowl of yogurt and fruits, your eyes following her figure pacing around.

“Any questions?” Arlecchino turned her head towards you. Her gaze softened ever so slightly when she saw you with your knees to your chest, holding the empty bowl with both hands as you looked at her with those innocent round eyes, a smudge of yogurt on the corners of your lips.

“No.” You responded, shaking your head, setting the bowl aside.

“Well then.” Arlecchino placed a pen next to the contract.

Arlecchino watched you take a deep breath, picking up the pen and rereading the contents on the paper. She knew her methods of getting you here wasn’t the best, and she would be lying if she said she didn’t feel bad for taking you in your sleep and bringing you to the House without asking you. But then again, she stared at the paper, waiting for the pen to move, nails digging into her arm. Ever since that day at the flower shop, Arlecchino could not stop thinking about you. She wanted to have you close. Wanted to always see that innocent look on your face, oblivious to the world of danger she lived in.

A sigh of relief nearly escaped Arlecchino’s throat as the pen moved across the surface, your signature on the line. She stifled it with a cough, taking the contract and gazed at the signature, as if trying to burn it into her brain. “Excellent. Take the rest of the day to adjust and get used to the surroundings. Is there… anything I can do for you?”

Arlecchino hoped you were going to say yes.

“...You don’t know what pancakes are?” You tilted your head.

Arlecchino blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“You work at an orphanage. With children. B-But you don’t know what pancakes are. Kids like pancakes. Pancakes are good”

“Are you insinuating that you are a child, then, Y/N?”

Your cheeks flushed, realizing the error in your sentence. Arlecchino let out a low chuckle, reaching her hand out to wipe away the stain around your mouth. “How about you show me… what this pancake is? So the children could enjoy something new, and you would be happily fed.”

#genshin impact #arlecchino x reader #the knave #arlecchino genshin #hsr has sm pretty ladies #send requests please #aetherwrites

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buddiebeginz · 6 months ago

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Saw this ridiculous thread on twitter that really deserves to be taken apart so lets go:

First of all while it's obvious that Buck is attracted to T*mmy (and at this point likes him a lot considering they're now dating) in 7x04 the the main person who's attention he was trying to get was Eddie's. I did an entire breakdown of that ep btw for anyone who is still confused about what was really happening there.

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Buck goes to see Maddie after the basketball incidient and this is how the conversation goes

Maddie: You didn't mean to hurt him did you?

Buck: I don't know. I was pissed you know. Seeing him and T*mmy being such good friends after only two weeks. I felt left out and I guess I was trying to get his attention.

I know that you B/T shippers desperately want to see 7x04 as Buck sent the entire episode being super smitten over T*mmy but that is just not the story that show is telling. The entire conversation that Maddie and Buck are having in this scene prior to T*mmy even being mentioned is about Eddie. Buck and Maddie are talking about Eddie's injury and how Buck thinks Eddie won't want to talk to him after what he did. The focus is on Eddie. Also it doesn't make any logical sense for Buck to be so upset and emotionally invested over some guy he barely knows. He's upset because he thinks Eddie his best friend can so easily replace him in his life.

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You're defending T*mmy because you say he left the date not wanting to pressure Buck...yet he almost outed him in front of Eddie (someone T*mmy knows is important to Buck). By the time they were on their first date T*mmy already knew how new all of this was for Buck and how nervous he was, I mean the man was talking about how he was an ally ffs while he was on a date with a guy. And while Buck's comment about finding some hot chicks was embarrassing and I get T*mmy not liking it he should have had a little more understanding given where Buck is in his journey. Instead he made it worse by making that crass closet comment.

It's also just plain rude to go on a date with someone and then ditch them in the middle without making sure they have a way home and without any real explanation (I'm not talking about more extreme circumstances like your date just being an ahole btw). Sure T*mmy told Buck he didn't think he was ready but that was really all he said. Buck was likely left feeling like he was being punished for having a moment where he acted out of fear. T*mmy could have shared an Uber with Buck and talked to him on the way home and they could have seen if they wanted things to continue. But it was like at the first sign of Buck needing more support he bailed.

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My personal feeling on the first kiss is that T*mmy really should have given something of an indication of his intentions before he kissed Buck.

Speaking as someone who is bi if I was into another woman and they were giving off the kind of vibes Buck was I wouldn't just jump in there and kiss them. I know they try to make everything more sexy for tv and it's the oldest trope in the book to have the hot guy grab the main's face and lay one on them but given all of the signals Buck was sending out T*mmy really should have gotten more confirmation beforehand.

I'm not accusing T*mmy of anything and clearly Buck liked the kiss and it was also clear in that loft scene he was attracted to T*mmy. Still the vibes he was giving off were also really nervous an unsure and he talked about Eddie 90% of the time literally moments before the kiss. Why jump in an kiss someone who seems that nervous and probably is into someone else? I don't know it's just issues I have with that scene.

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When it comes to a lot of the discourse I see around between Buddie shippers and B/T shippers I feel like a major difference is in how we perceive the show. I feel like a lot of B/T shippers mostly just take the show at face value. If something is written a certain way and presented that way to you on the screen you take that as exactly what the story is saying but you're missing the more subtle messages in the writing.

Like the whole scene with Buck, T*mmy, and Eddie in the karaoke bar had a lot going on beyond just what the dialogue was saying and it was likely missed by those who weren't paying attention.

Yeah T*mmy was on call and yeah that could be a reason why he didn't dress up. Although as many have pointed out there's plenty of things he could have worn that would have made it easy for him to quickly change and get to work and still put an ounce of effort into something that was clearly important to Buck.

But the not dressing up wasn't even the biggest issue it was that when Buck seemed hurt by the fact that T*mmy didn't care enough to dress up T*mmy was just like it's not that big of deal get over it (in the demeanor with which he responded). Obviously it was just a silly bachelor party one Chim didn't even show up to and no one else even dressed up for it (besides Eddie) but for me it's another red flag showing that T*mmy doesn't listen to Buck and doesn't have his back like a (potential) partner should.

Also you can defend T*mmy all you want but very deliberate choices were made with this Buddie and T*mmy scene. They chose to have Eddie arrive first and call a lot of attention to what he was wearing. Right before they had T*mmy come in and have that whole convo about his lack of costume to Buck.

Multiple times in the episode they pointed out that Buddie were wearing a couples costume and that Eddie is the one who picked it out. Not only were they matching in the bachelor party outfits but if you look at their outfits in the later scenes while looking for Chim they're coordinated like spouses there too.

They chose to have Eddie be the one to stay with Buck when everyone else left. They chose to have Buddie partying alone when they could have easily had T*mmy there. Especially when you consider this is a much shorter season every scene and every ep means even more than it would in a normal season. If they were trying to build B/T and get the audience to warm to them showing them partying even showing B/T partying with Eddie would have been a great time to do that instead they only focused on Buddie.

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I'm happy for B/T shippers that you got your kissing scene at the end but here's what I saw. In a very overstuffed episode they chose to have a ton of Buddie stuff including having Buck and Eddie show up together multiple times while everyone was out looking for Chimney. Meanwhile B/T got one small scene (which included Eddie) in the beginning and one kiss at the end away from everyone else (that immediately cut to Eddie and Chris). The kiss didn't even feel like it's main purpose was to further develop the B/T relationship, it felt like it happened more to serve Buck's bi storyline so he could come out to everyone.

Also others have pointed this out but just because B/T have physical chemistry doesn't mean they have romantic chemistry. They seem like very different people. Too different in my opinion. In what little scenes of conversation they've actually had I just see two people who won't be compatible long term.

Juxtapose that with Eddie and Buck and just how much alike they are while at the same time being so uniquely themselves. How they're able to call each other out when they need to like when Eddie pointed out how it was maybe not the greatest idea for Buck to come out at his sister's wedding.

You can dislike Buddie and ship B/T all you want but you can't deny how all Buck and Eddie have to do is stand near each other and they exude chemistry and compatibility. People who don't even watch the show assume they're together and there's not even one scene of them kissing. Yet the main reason people ship B/T is because they're two hot guys who've kissed twice. There is no other real point of substance there. Now tell me again which fandom is guilty of fetishization here?

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You can call us the delusional ones all you want but EVERYTHING is screaming in your face that T*mmy isn't going to last forever. I don't even care if he comes back for season 8. T*mmy and B/T have a giant ticking clock over them and sooner or later their time will be up. There is no way Tim, the writers, ABC, Ryan, Oliver, etc would pass on the phenomenon that Buddie will be once it goes canon. The show already gets a ton of attention just from talking about the possibility of them going canon. Every single article where they even mention Buddie gets attention.

It's hilarious to me that you say the actors and showrunners are what rooting for B/T? In all the the interviews they talk about Buddie now. Tim literally was saying he cares about Buddie too in his response to a fan the other day. He literally said he included Buddie scene specifically for our fandom. Oliver is always posting and liking stuff related to his scenes with Ryan and Buddie. When Ryan gets to do interviews he gushes about Buddie and Oliver. Meanwhile B/T which is supposed to be the canon ship in this important queer storyline they're doing barely gets mentioned. Let me know when that same energy is being given to your ship.

#buddie #911 buddie #911!#long post

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aettuddae · 7 months ago

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high garden academy — chapter 57.

⟢ synopsis: a new school year begins at the high garden academy boarding school, bringing with it new students, and among them, the new center of attention for the drama-thirsty student body: the hong sisters. eunchae and her mysterious and unsympathetic older sister, daein, who oddly seem uninterested in the secrets, legends, and gossip of their new school. winter, the institution's top student, and karina, the popular girl and promising pianist, never imagined they would end up so closely involved with hong daein.

masterlist | prev | next

[written chapter]

daein opened the door with the "7-A" on it. tired, but with the feeling that she'd had a good day. ready to throw herself on her bed and sink into her pillow until someone, possibly jennie, came to break into her calm and remind her of her responsibilities.

but her plan changed completely when she set foot inside her room and found her mattress covered in clothes, as well as the floor.

with her mood changing drastically and cursing as she surveyed the mess, she went deeper inside only to find the cause of the chaos: karina. the girl was tucked inside the closet going through every corner of it, taking whatever clothes came in front of her eyes, examining them and then tossing them all into the various piles that had been created around her.

taking a better look, the newcomer noticed that even her drawers and suitcase were open and disorganized. there was almost no place in her own dorm that hadn't been ravaged by the pianist.

"what the fuck are you doing?" shrieked daein on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

karina turned around in exaltation due to the sudden company and, noticing daein's frantic state, paused to think about what she should do to avoid earning a parade of shouts and insults. although she was still annoyed with her, she thought the smart thing to do would be to treat her kindly so she wouldn't have to put up with her bitterness.

"aeinie!" she crooned to the accompaniment of jazz hands.

it wasn't her brightest idea. it only caused the biker's pent-up anger to grow and ended with the girl having a hysterical fit due to the mess.

"okay, okay..." the younger girl carefully approached and grabbed her shoulders. "calm down, you're more irritable than usual."

"how do you want me to calm down?" she waved her hands euphorically through the air. "it looks like a fucking hurricane went through my room!"

something flashed through the youngest's mind, causing a giggle to come out from under her breath.

"hurricane karina." she couldn't contain her intrusive thought.

the older one could only stare at her in shock with her mouth hanging open.

"i hope you know i never hated anyone as much as i hate you." she expressed to then bite down hard as she glared at her. the helplessness she felt at that moment had immobilized her and she could only stand there thinking how she was going to have to sort through that whole mess while karina took it as a joke.

"if you keep saying it, maybe it'll start to sound convincing." she made a motion to wink one eye, but it didn't come out the way it should and she ended up closing both of them.

"how come not even winking you can do right?"

"hey," she looked at her defiantly. "it's not a skill i need to survive in the world." she inspected her up and down, noting that her clothes were oddly neat. "where were you?" curiosity distracted her.

"can you tell me why my room is a disaster?" she folded her arms, ignoring karina.

"won't you answer me?" she copied the position.

"with minjeong." she admitted casually, causing the contrarian to roll her eyes. "why are you here?" she repeated.

"i hope you didn't forget that we have a dinner with my parents." she reminded after giving a sigh, adopting an angry attitude.

"yes, i know that." she stated with annoyance. "but i was hoping i'd only have to see you that day."

"i came to pick something for you to wear that day." she explained, turning to inspect her clothes. "you know, because you usually dress like a beggar and would never go out of your way to look presentable for me like you do for your little friend." she pointed her finger at her, highlighting her outfit.

"you could have asked me to pick out something decent instead of coming in and turning my room upside down." daein obfuscated.

"you think i trust you?" she threw her a judgmental look. "but i have amazing news for you." announced excitedly.

"what did you find?" the owner of the room scanned her surroundings trying to find the clothes the other had liked.

"nothing!" she exclaimed. "your fashion sense is completely broken." she added with wry glee in her voice.

"and what's the good news?" she thought for a moment. "i'm not going to have to come to the dinner?" she assumed copying the same ironic tone karina was using.

"no, you're going to have to come with me to the mall." she reported. "and you can't refuse." she spoke quickly as she noticed daein opened her mouth to throw a tantrum.

"when do you want us to do that?" she questioned stressed as she followed karina with her eyes, who was pacing around the place gathering her belongings.

"right now." she said simply.

"what?" daein frowned. "you weren't even thinking of asking me if i'm free?" she took a few steps following her. "don't you think this is all very abrupt?" yu wouldn't say anything back, so she took her arm and tugged on it to turn the girl towards her, bringing their faces relatively close. "karina." she called irritated at her lack of attention.

"are you going to stop whining or do you want me to kiss you to shut you up?" she challenged in a deep, confident voice, her eyes moving from hong's eyes to her lips repeatedly.

"do it if you want, but then don't get mad when i don't act like your lapdog afterwards." she shrugged.

the blackhaired let out a dry, incredulous laugh, with a hint of indignation. she took her eyes off daein while turning away from her, then walked towards the door without saying much, her movements clearly strained by the negative atmosphere that had just been created between them.

"let's go." she commanded walking out of the room.

"is that my hoodie?" hesitated daein from behind inspecting her. "that's my hoodie." she confirmed to herself.

"and this? do you like it?" karina lifted up a blue garment.

"is that a vest?" she looked at the fabric disapprovingly.

"yes, aein, it's a vest." she affirmed obviously.

"put that away." she ordered, turning back to the clothes she was looking at before.

this was already their fourth store. they had been wandering around the mall for at least two hours, trying to find something they could agree on. after two stores chosen by karina, they entered one that was daein's liking, but found nothing there. although they had some bags with personal purchases, they hadn't decided on anything good for the dinner, and they didn't seem capable of doing so.

everything daein liked, karina hated or didn't find suitable, and vice versa. both were quite irritated by this point and were showing random clothes to each other with no real interest as they had lost all hope and motivation.

"you know what i've been thinking?" the younger one spoke from one side of the rack. "this?" she lifted a ruffled shirt.

"no." she shook her head after looking at it. "so, you know how to think?" she countered from the other side of the same structure.

"you do know i have one of the highest averages at high garden, right?" she raised an eyebrow.

"really?" she questioned uninterestedly. "do you like it?" she showed her a pair of pants, karina shook her head. "if only you talked more about things like that instead of... your boyfriend." she referred to the new information.

"he's not my boyfriend." she hurried to say.

"then why are we doing all this for?" she looked up at her, exhausted.

"because... uh..." she shook her head from side to side stressed. "it's complicated, just keep searching." she indicated, dismissing the topic. "i was thinking we don't know anything about each other."

"thankfully." she chose a suit jacket. "what about this?"

"no." she rejected and lifted a t-shirt, but daein gave her a disliking look. "i mean, we can't pretend to be a couple in front of my parents if we have no idea who we are."

"we know what we need to know." she brushed off while continuing to look for something to buy.

"do you want to know what i know about you?" karina leaned on the top of the counter. "you have a motorcycle, you do drugs, you like soccer." she raised a finger for each fact. "and not to be evident, but that sounds like something no parent wants near their daughter." she put her hands in the air dramatically.

"i only know you have money and you like to adopt creatures to take care of." she leaned her weight on the wood just like the opposite.

"see? we don't seem like girlfriends." she stated matter of factly.

"because we're not." she countered.

"but we have to pretend we are." repeated, then continued looking at clothes, switching to the furniture behind her, turning her back to the biker. "is there anything you want to know about me?"

"no." she honestly clarified without changing her position.

"how charming." she picked up a shirt and walked over to daein, taking her by the arm to pull her towards her and make her stand properly to put the garment on her chest so she could have an idea of how it would look. "do you like this?"

"why do you want to dress me like a christian peasant?" she frowned.

"do you even know my name?" she continued inspecting.

"ka... tarina?"

"katarina is my baptismal name." she explained. "my name is yu jimin." she added.

"jimin." she let out a short laugh. "jimin makes you sound tiny."

"daein makes you sound like a boy." she pointed her finger accusingly at her.

"what do you say?" she displayed another pair of pants without paying her attention.

"they're fine." she agreed after scanning them.

"i can't believe we just settled on something." she hung the chosen clothes on her forearm. "is there anything else you want me to know about you?"

"i don't know." she turned on her heels and leaned her back against a shelf. "my favorite color is blue, i'm an aries, i like dinosaurs, i play the piano." she began listing all the things that came to her mind.

"i already know you play the piano." she mentioned, distracted with a pile of jackets.

"how do you know i play the piano?" she asked bewildered.

"i saw you the other day with your... situationship." she recalled. "besides, you had already told me."

"did i?"

"yes, in one of our first chats." whenever daein spoke, she did so without any emotion.

"and you remember?"

"why wouldn't i?" she disregarded.

"i was just saying..." she murmured, turning back towards the furniture. "tell me something about yourself."

"about me?" she fell silent. "i like this shirt, do you?"

"why do you want to go have dinner with my parents looking like bob the builder?" she examined the loose checkered shirt daein had in her hands.

"something about me." she sighed, drained, and put down what she was holding. "my favorite color is red."

"is that all?" she stared at her in disbelief.

"what else do you want me to say?" she returned eye contact, without much interest.

"is there anything you really care about?" she asked desperately due to the lack of knowledge she had about the other.

"the reds." she stated with certainty.

"i can't believe you." she left her head fall defeated. "you're a dude." karina theatrically brought her hand to her forehead.

"i didn't judge you because you like dinosaurs." she reproached.

"dinosaurs are awesome." defended. "let's see, why do you like that team so much?"

"because it's mom's favorite." told naturally.

"see?" she exclaimed. "there's something you care about, your mother!" pointed out cheerfully.

"my mother died." she diverted her focus to continue looking for something they both liked.

"oh..."

"just kidding."

"who the hell jokes about their mother dying!?" she voiced disturbed.

"i do."

"god, what about your father?" she resumed the conversation.

"next question." she evaded with a noticeable hint of annoyance.

"well, now i know three more things about you: your favorite color is red, you have a terrible sense of humor and you have daddy issues." she teased.

"yu jimin." daein gave her a questioning look.

"i see you learned my name." joked the youngest.

"i don't know." the biker took a moment to choose what to say. "another thing that matters to me could be..." she pondered. "eunchae."

"it must be hard for you to be on bad terms with her." she assumed, changing her voice tone to a more serious one, empathizing with her.

"it's my fault, so..." she swept.

"but you still have the right to feel sad." reassured.

"i guess." she let out in a whisper, mixed with the breath she apparently had been holding for a while, and her eyes wandered as she thought. it was clear the subject affected her.

"do you need a hug?" she extended her limbs, offering comfort.

"stay away from me." she became agitated at the mere idea of receiving the pianist's touch, quickly changing the atmosphere from a melancholic to a brutal one.

"aeinie..." she took a step towards her.

"yu jimin, don't come any closer." she abruptly moved away.

"aeinie." jimin kept walking quickly towards her.

"enough!" hong began to run through the store so she wouldn't be caught.

"come here." she lunged to chase her.

(!)

— taglist [closed] : @yoontoonwhs @gayforalll @hwm1hyun @jisooftme @gornoi @eunhhh @petruchiosstuff @linnnsworld @xen248 @trueblumarinegf @rinapomu @imahallucination11 @thefckghost @myouiiiiiiii @blaymine @chaewoni3 @aliceiwk @gfriendsapple @sewiouslyz @multiliker @cwpiqwon @pandafuriosa60

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ants-personal · 5 months ago

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thinking about maybe when edwin is just so upset and nearing a break down. Panic swelling hells memories suffocating him he troes to hides it. But its too much and rather than make a scene having a breakdown he lets his corporal form disapate leaving behind a blue orb where ever he ended up the office. It flickers and glows dimly essences slowly swirling inside. The first time it happens charles was so scared someone or something bad had happened he tearfully asked edwin to please come back hands hovering unsure what to do. Edwin did course bewildered, apologetic, but also distance.

Now it rarely happens, but when it does charles finds edwins orb dimly glowing in the fee places edwin had tired to hide away. The closet, the side of the couch, under the desk. He sadly smiles as he scoops him up gently letting him know hes got him. As he moves edwin ontop a pillow he leaves by his side on the floor infront of the desk. Red jacket drapped around edwin reassuring hell be right here when hes ready. Sometimes he talks nothing just filling the silence and hopefully comforting edwin other times he tells edwin he wished he just talked to him instead of going all spherey on him hes here for him.

Other times he doesnt speak at all. Half mindlessly messing with a random item, or playing music. He thinks it helps its not his favorite exactly its too slow on the verge of melancholy for him, but edwin had called it soothing. Said it brought back softer memories of being a child reading in the living room while his mother smiles warmly embroidering a blue bird.

Course when edwin comes back eyes red rimmed, a little to stiff, and short with his answers. They dont talk about it. Charles has tried and it never got him far. It usually ended with edwin cutting him off saying this conversation is done and theres nothing else to discuss. Before burying himself in any case he could find. Letting it distract him till he slowly returned to himself, and charles cant explain how much it hurts him not to be able to save edwin from his own tramas.

#i know i should just write fic at this point but consider this im having a real bad time like edwin here #dead boy detectives #the dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #payneland #ant posts stuff

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imyourbratzdoll · 2 years ago

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𝑰 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒂 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒃𝒚𝒆

part 1 of 💔broken family💔

summary - you had woken from a nightmare, one that was reality, only to live through more hell as your son slowly stops loving you.

warning - angst, swearing, cheating assumptions, divorce, self-doubt, breakdowns, misery.

the gif I use isn't mine, headers by me.

part 2

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

“Wait… Wait.” You hurriedly get out, struggling to understand the words that just left your husband’s mouth. Trying to process what was happening, you thought everything was good, you thought everything was okay. But apparently, on Ari’s side, nothing was okay. “What do you mean you want a divorce? What about Jason?” You blink, stunned, as you stare at the man you were desperately in love with. “Ari, answer me!” You beg and plead, needing to know why he suddenly woke up and wanted to leave.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Y/n. Just sign the fucking divorce papers. I don’t love you anymore. Don’t you get that? And you’ll drop Jason off at my new place.” He growls, chucking the papers and a pen at you and standing over you with his arms crossed over his chest. “Hurry up! I have to go to work, and I don’t want to deal with this when I get home.” You nod slowly, feeling your heart crack and shatter as you sign your name on the paper. You hold back the tears that threaten to fall, not wanting to anger him any more.

You wake with a choked sob and gasp. You looked around and were hit with the hard truth that the nightmare wasn’t just a nightmare. It was your reality. You sit against the headboard, pressing your hand into your mouth as sobs fall from your lips, the tears flow, and you can’t stop them. You must stay quiet so you don’t wake your son, which becomes more challenging as the memories keep flowing, and your heart shatters. You don’t know where it all went wrong. You thought everything between the two of you was going well. Why didn’t you see the signs? Had Ari always disliked you? Did he not love you to begin with? How could you not see it? You were so sure it was the perfect fairytale you had wished for. As the tears dried, you slowly laid back down and drifted back to sleep, and the nightmare kept repeating the whole night.

You had woken just as the sun had started rising, groggily heading to the bathroom and freshening up before heading to your closet and changing into a pair of jeans and a plain shirt. What was the point of looking good anymore? It’s not like anyone loved you. You head down to the kitchen, preparing breakfast for your son. You poured some coffee into a mug that Jason made for you with Ari, causing tears to brim as more memories flash before your eyes. You accidentally slam the cup down onto the kitchen counter, causing some of the liquid inside to splash out, and you stumble into the table, taking a few deep breaths as you desperately try to hold your sobs back. It had been months now since Ari left you out of the blue, and you still hadn’t gotten over it, not being able to move on, not being able to get a peaceful rest, and every time you had dropped your son off to his place, he had glared at you and spoke hurtful words.

You clear your throat, quickly heading up to Jason’s room and gently waking him. “Hey, baby. Breakfast is ready.” And just like his father, he ignores you. How could a four-year-old even ignore you like a grown man could? And why did it hurt a lot more? But you can’t show him that it hurts. You just help him up, changing him before helping him down to the kitchen, ignoring how he’d slightly push your hands away, babbling about how he’s a big boy and could do it himself.

“Mumma, when I see daddy again?” You stare at him as you begin to feed him. You won’t say Ari was a horrible father because he was probably the best father out there. But what did he have that you didn’t? Your son had only returned home a day ago, and Jason already wanted to go back. He didn’t seem to care to spend time with you… It was different when you and Ari were still married. Your son had been a mumma’s boy, he had clung to you, wanting to spend time with you, admired you, and now it’s as though you were a nuisance, someone blocking him from his father. “Mumma?” He huffs, pouting at you, as you blink at him.

“Uh, soon, baby. On the weekend.” You try and smile, clearing your throat before placing the spoon in front of his mouth and letting him eat the food off of it. You can see him become upset by your words, not liking the answer you gave him. “Don’t worry, baby. You’ll see him again. It’s not that long.” You try to reassure him, stroking his hair back, but feel your heart clench as he shifts away from you. You hide your hurt, blinking back the tears. “C’mon, eat up. You have kindy today.” As he finishes his breakfast, you ensure he’s brushed his teeth and grabbed his bag and shoes. You drive him to kindy, dropping him off, feeling a lump in your throat as he runs out of the car before you can even walk with him. You knew it was you because you had heard that your son wanted his father to walk him up but couldn’t because you were no longer together. Of course, he couldn’t say all that, but you got the gist. You drove to work, not caring that you didn’t look as presentable as you used to be when you were married, but you felt drained. You didn’t care how you looked anymore. If Ari stopped loving you when you looked your best, then why should you continue? It wasn’t like he’ll suddenly wake up and regret leaving you.

Your day consisted of pitiful looks, rumours, and people coming up to you asking if you were okay. Of course, you weren’t okay. You don’t think you’ll ever be okay. You had lost the love of your life and didn’t even know why. Did he find someone else? Was it someone younger, prettier? Was that why you guys stopped being intimate for so long? Should you have seen the signs long before the divorce? You blanked out during work, thinking it over, wondering if you ever smelt a perfume that wasn’t yours or if Ari had come home late, he had any lipstick on his collar. But you couldn’t remember. You had been brought out of your daze when your boss came over and tapped you on the shoulder, smiling at you softly as she whispered for you to go home and get some rest.

You had driven home, sighing as you parked your car, and entered your home, dropping down onto the couch as you felt the house's silence, no longer filled with laughter, happiness, or love. No wonder your son didn’t want to stay here anymore. Your husband had succeeded. Whatever sick game he was playing, he had won. He had managed to take every bit of happiness from your life. You had your son physically but not mentally or emotionally.

You hoped it would all get better…

At least you still had your hope… Right?

You thought you at least deserved a better goodbye.

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

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inf3ct3dd · 1 year ago

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01. BAD LIAR

warnings: none!!!

authors note: going cray rn guys….sorry if this is a bit long 😓😓

previous chapter. next chapter. masterlist.

the rest of summer break was….depressing.

as they say, lesbian heartbreak hits hard.

ellie must’ve texted you a thousand times, and you couldn’t reply because every time you saw her name on your phone you started bawling.

and your daily stalks of her instagram had you completely salty-faced.

you were so obnoxiously upset, that everything that had anything to do with her made you upset. you worried that if you even saw her face to face, you’d fold on the floor and drown in your own tears.

which was what made being in your room even worse, because it was covered in HER.

open your closet? her old hoodie.

sit at your desk? a framed picture of the two of you.

vanity? polaroids taped to the mirror.

even your BED. which held the stuffed animal she bought you, mr pickles.

mr pickles might as well have been a real pickle from how salty he was from being covered in TEARS during one of your very frequent breakdowns.

you basically lived in your room, your sister having to literally drag you outside to do anything. the only thing that worked was bribing you with food.

“cmon, i made pasta.” was her best excuse to get you out of your self inflicted prison.

ellie showed up at your house a few times, and each time she did, you hid in your room. at one point she actually came upstairs, and you crawled out of your window and hid on your roof until she left.

you did not want to talk to her.

after a while, and constant berating from all your friends and your family, you got over your extremely dramatic episode. well….not really? but at least you weren’t in your room sobbing over a tiktok you saw because the girl “looked like ellie.”

the days leading up to the first day of school basically consisted in you being in a constant state of panic.

what if she talks to me?

what if i have to sit next to her in class?

what if she-

“DUDE. CAN YOU STOP BEING A BATHROOM HOG AND LET ME GET READY?”

you heard your sister yell from outside the door, interrupting your thoughts.

you had been pacing in the bathroom for thirty minutes, losing your fucking mind.

you shouldn’t be this stressed out. it happened almost a month ago. you’ll be fine girl, calm down.

you give yourself a final once-over in the mirror , fixing the two plaits on the sides of your head before adjusting your glasses, and swinging the door open, revealing your pissed off sister.

“fucking finally.”

she muttered under her breath, before dramatically slamming the door behind her.

you gave your dad a hug goodbye before walking over to your car, twirling your keys in your fingers. you had just gotten your license last year, (too scared to get it when you were 16), and you still weren’t very….good at driving.

you opened the car door, making your hand wet from the raindrops , and sat down inside the car.

you watched your sister walk over to the car, with a fucking helmet.

she swung open the door and sat down in the passenger’s seat, setting her bag on the ground.

“…..are you serious?”

you looked over at your sister, a look of disbelief plastered on your face.

“with the way you drive? very much so.”

you roll your eyes at her before pulling out of your driveway, making your way to school.

after you got to school, you really wished you would’ve stayed home.

or transferred schools.

to one in a different country.

because when you walked into your first period, ellie was there.

and your second.

and your third.

and your fourth.

the first half of your day was spent basically hiding from her. sitting as far as possible, making your presence seem non-existent.

it was definitely a chore, but you’d rather do this than actually have to confront her.

even during passing periods, you practically speed-walked to your next period classes, avoiding the brunettes persistent attempts to talk to you.

it was hard to focus on anything in class when you could feel her eyes burning a hole in the back of your head.

lunch was….once again, very depressing. your usual lunch table was just full of ellies friends, and of course, ellie herself.

you looked around the cafeteria for a while , scanning the large room for one of your friends. and yet, you turned up empty.

do i just have zero classes with them?

you finally gave up, walking to the courtyard outside.

the courtyard was fairly empty, given that it was still soaking wet .

you walked over to a bench that looked fairly dry, sitting down and slinging your backpack off your shoulders before sitting it down next to you, grabbing the lunch you packed for yourself.

you started to eat , biting into the quesadilla you made yourself , looking around the courtyard and nodding your head to the music blaring in your headphones.

the noise cancellation blocked out the sound of a door swinging open, and footsteps quickly approaching you.

you continued eating your lunch, this being the most calm you’ve been all day, slightly kicking your feet back and forth as they dangled off the bench.

you don’t notice ellie walking over to you until its too late, and shes standing in front of you, repeating your name.

“hello???”

you look up at her, slightly jumping at her presence and pulling your headphones onto your shoulders.

“uhm….hi.”

you utter, meeting her eyes.

“are you just never gonna talk to me again?”

ellie responded, a disappointed look on her face.

you avoided eye contact with her, staring at your hands in your lap.

“i don’t really…..have anything to say to you.”

you mutter, still avoiding her gaze.

“nothing? you don’t have anything to say about what happened?”

“what do you expect me to say?”

“….i don’t know. i just want to talk to you.”

she looked away from you, fiddling with her rings the same way she did the last time you saw her.”

“are you alright? you haven’t really been posting or anything lately.”

she was looking at my account??

“i’m fine. just haven’t been on my phone much.”

you lied, staring at her shoes.

“i can tell….i must’ve texted you 1000 times and you never answered.”

she anxiously rubbed her arm, trying desperately to hold eye contact with you.

“ ‘m sorry.”

“its fine, i kinda deserved it.”

she lets out a dry chuckle, rubbing her arm with her opposite hand.

theres an awkward silence between the two of you, both fidgeting with your hands and looking everywhere but at each other.

“so… are you and dina like, a thing now?”

you boldly questioned, crossing your legs in front of you.

“no- we were just drunk. we’re just friends.”

“real friendly.” you mumbled under your breath.

“are you uh…seeing anyone?”

ellie asks, slightly bouncing on her feet.

ellie only asks because she knows you aren’t. she wants an ego boost. she just wants you to say it.

she doesn’t expect you to say yes.

and neither do you.

“actually? who is it?”

the realization of what you just said hits you like a truck, the false confidence disappearing and replacing it with fear. you think, maybe for a bit too long, about what to say.

and then you finally utter-

“abby.”

ellies look of confusion is replaced with anger at your answer.

abby anderson. the one girl you knew she hated.

constant bickering and dumb fights, arguments that meant absolutely nothing that lasted their entire high school careers, and the constant competition between the two of them brewed your perfect opportunity for jealousy. your thoughts moved as fast as your mouth.

“cmon, you’re joking right?”

ellie asks before scoffing, readjusting her feet and crossing her arms in front of her.

you shake your head before packing up your things, starting to leave.

you don’t notice that you left your class schedule on the bench.

“you’re not fucking with me?”

ellie was practically fuming, the tips of her ears turning red as she dug her fingers into her arms.

you give her a nod before walking away, quickly turning on your heel.

“are you serious?”

“dead.”

your best friend mina was staring back at you, mouth agape in shock as she listened to you recall what happened during lunch.

your heart beat speeds up as you run around the track, even though you were already basically having a heart attack before you started.

having gym outside was already brutal, and the fact that it was extremely foggy and depressing-looking outside made it ten times worse. usually, you would’ve tired out by now, begging the gym teacher to let you inside because you had a “headache”, but for some reason you were feeling extremely bold today.

as you and your friend slow your pace you feel someone running behind you. you take a deep breath, expecting ellie to pop up behind you, but you’re suprised when you hear an unfamiliar voice call out your name.

you turn around to face her, and you look up and see abby.

your heart hammers in your chest while you try to catch your breath, simultaneously trying to calm your nerves.

“um…hey.”

you reply, staring up at her.

your eyes move to her hands, and you notice a piece of paper in one.

“is this yours?”

abby reaches her hand with the paper towards you, realizing its your class schedule.

“oh yeah, thanks.”

abby smiles at you, shoving her hands into her hoodie pocket. you subconsciously mirror her actions, slipping your hands into yours.

“welcome. we have pretty similar schedules actually.”

“oh really? i didn’t notice.”

you smile at her, and she offers the same smile back.

mina makes her hands smooch, making an obnoxious kissy face behind abby.

“yeah, you seemed like you were kinda staying to yourself today.”

you give her a death glare before looking back to abby, slightly shifting on your feet.

“i guess, i’ve just been….avoiding someone.”

you look away for a second, and see ellie angrily storming towards the two of you, all her anger and eye sight directed towards abby.

shit.

abby looks in the same direction as you, watching you get anxious as ellie walks over.

“you okay?”

you redirect your attention to abby, watching her eyebrows quirk at you in concern.

you give her a quick nod, but the look on her face remains unchanged. she doesn’t believe you.

you feel ellie get closer to you. you run through the thousands of scenarios that could go wrong if she gets over to the two of you.

ellie would think you’re a pathetic weirdo, and abby would think you’re an insane person.

however, your body moves faster than your thoughts, and you choose the absolute worse option to get out of this.

you slightly stand on your tiptoes and smash your lips onto abbys, holding her face with your hands.

her eyes widen in shock, blind to you as you shut yours as hard as possible.

surprisingly, she doesn’t pull away.

ellie sees the sight in front of her and scoffs, staring at the two of you in disbelief.

“guess she wasn’t lying.”

taglist:

if ur name is crossed i cant tag u :((

@rimaybank @nickiminaj689 @ leomcshizzle @planetflorxa @teawithnosugar @sawaagyapong @how-to-disappearrr @vsselz @pepperispicy @chrry1ovr @ 4yn1y4h @lottienatfinalgirls @honeycinnamonenthusiast @heartrobynn @ibatman @sugarbag @arizvla

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby x black reader #abby x y/n #abby x you #abby x fem!reader #abby x reader #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #tlou x reader #lesbian

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faeskiss · 8 months ago

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LONGING ༉‧₊˚.

synopsis: reader misses zaros on their birthday! a sad fic

The ballroom is alive and thriving with guests, music is blaring and reverberating throughout the hall, rampant sound of laughter and revelry is dancing in the air, the smell of wine and strawberries is thick and inviting

it’s my birthday, but I am cooped up in this absurd corner,next to the fondue table, a glass of switchel in my hand, I would go for a more riveting drink, but I really shouldn’t have alcohol, it’s very easy for me to lose myself if I have too much, and I am determined to not give these people an unwanted show and fuel their zeal for drama and gossip.

I certainly don’t want Zaros to have any reason to laugh or look down on me……even if he isn’t here physically, news travels fast, and if I make a spectacle of myself, there’s no way he wouldn’t hear about it.

My mother, the Queen, gives a long speech in my honour, it’s warm and wholesome, and I certainly don’t deserve to be praised the way she does, she paints me in such a way that I seem tenfold the incredible and dutiful person I am, when that’s far from reality, I dread the day people of my kingdom realise that I’m a fraud, that I hide behind my intelligence and wit, that I haven’t the slightest clue of what I’m doing, this fear, it eats me alive, every single day.

I’m not exactly the best person you’ll ever come across, I know that, and I know if Zaros were here he’d remind of the same every five minutes, even on my birthday

Nobles come and go, bringing in gifts and fake smiles, giving me their half hearted good wishes, all my fair weather friends are here too, this entire ordeal feels more like a desperate attempt to prove who is more loyal and dutiful to the future ruler rather than a birthday party, it all feels so very disingenuous.

No matter how rocky things were between me and Zaros, he had always been a veritable person, one of the very few people who truly saw me for who I was, no matter how unpleasant the “real me” is…

I still remember my 17th birthday, right before everything went wrong, back when he still had some amount of love for me in his soul, he had given me a heart shaped necklace with my initials, in his handwriting, engraved on it, it was custom made for me, he told me that as long as I had that necklace, I would have a piece of him with me at all times

we weren’t always incredibly affectionate with each other,but when we were it was real and almost intoxicating…

I’ve had uncountable pieces of jewellery gifted to me in the past, but none have meant so much to me as that necklace, I have it locked away, safely, my heart still aches every single time I accidentally come across it in my closet

it’s a reminder of how much he really loved and cared for me, and how he’ll never love me the way he used to, ever again, not even if I prayed to the heavens with every single speck of hope and optimism my body can muster…

tears start bubbling in my eyes, “oh god, I don’t want to cry on my birthday, especially not because of him” I think to myself ,I hurry out of the ballroom, leading my way to the balcony before anyone can see me in this state.

I quickly hang on to the railing for support as I feel the sadness seep into my knees making them go weak, I want to breakdown, I want to scream and cry, I want to feel the warmth of his embrace once more, just one more time, it’s the only birthday wish no one in the land can grant me.

A huge pit of longing starts to form in my stomach, as if it’s a black hole ready to engulf my very being right here and now, no matter how hard I try to deny it, I can’t anymore, I miss him so much it hurts, I miss Zaros SO much, he was everything to me, no matter how much we brawled, no matter the poisonous words that spewed out of our mouths when we fought, I still loved him and I know he loved me.

I haven’t seen his face or heard his voice in almost 3 years, my eyes and ears are starved, everything that went down between us, I regret it every day.

A sharp shooting pain stabs me in the chest, as his stupidly charming smile flashes before my eyes, I took it for granted, I still remember the last time he smiled at me like that, teeth and all, warm and comforting, little did I know it’d be the last time I’d ever see it.

Our relationship was always complicated but the one thing that none of us could deny was that we could share anything we wanted with each other, no matter how much he disapproved of my actions, he knew he could be himself around me, he had a way of seeing through my every word, every movement , every look, he knew me better than anyone, even my own mother….even my own self, I had never felt so alive as I did when I was with him, now I feel like an empty shell of a person, existing in vain, bitter and incomplete.

My tired gaze travels outside the balcony, the city looks beautiful, fireworks are ablaze in the sky, I can hear the excitement and chatter of the people outside as they relish the beautiful sight with their loved ones, I haven’t gotten to hear much about Zaros since he left, but I do know that he’s in town, and I know that right now we share the same twilight sky, I don’t care for the expensive clothing, the jewels, the meaningless luxuries that I have received tonight, the only thing I truly want is for him to look up at the sky, and think of me, of every single smile, every thoughtful glance we shared, all the times our laughter echoed through the walls of this palace, and smile, even if it is for a split second. ༉‧₊˚.

#zsakuva zaros #zsakuva #sakuverse #writers on tumblr #zaros

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sturniololuv08 · 21 days ago

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Matthew Sturniolo Short. (Rated R)

"Please, I'm begging you." Chris was in fact on his knees begging me to help him. Normally, I would jump at the chance to help any one of my brothers but this time was different.

"No, I'm not going to help you cheat." I wasn't a cheater myself. So if I helped him cheat wouldn't that make me one?

"I will do anything." Chris was serious about it.

"Why do you even date both of them?" I didn't understand. I don't know if him telling me why would make me understand either but it was worth a shot.

"Aubrey helps me pass my classes and Alexis is like hot." Chris had a smug look on his face. I sighed. As his triplet brother, I knew I had to help. "Hell yeah." He knew by my big sigh he won.

"Which one am I going out with?" I asked. I regretted this so much already but I couldn't let Chris fail his classes and in his defense, Alexis was actually pretty hot.

"Are you gonna change your mind if I say Aubrey?" Chris' face changed to concern.

"I mean no but -"

"Okay, good. Go get dressed." Chris was walking away to do the same but I stopped him.

"Where am I going?" I needed more context to my last-minute booked evening.

"Aubrey loves sushi so I booked us a reservation at Hana Yori."

"I hate sushi." I stuck my hands out like he should know that.

"Then take her to a movie instead." Chris really only cared about passing his classes. Now that I think about it he probably just copied her homework when they were together anyway. I went upstairs and started going through my closet trying to find the most Chris-looking outfit I could. I took off my comfy clothes and started shifting through everything I had. Nothing looked like Chris to me. I wanted to play it safe and chose all-black everything. I had a bad feeling this wasn't going to work. When we were younger we looked alike but since we have grown up we have differences now. I took off my favorite necklace and tucked it away safely. I sat in the mirror and started fluffing my hair to the front of my forehead. It wasn't curling enough to look right. I stared at my reflection getting nervous. I didn't like going out without my brothers. They were my safety net in case I had a literal mental breakdown. Now I was dreading this. I grabbed a hat and lifted my hair back before slipping it on backward. I nodded at myself in the mirror and crept out of my room.

"Going out Chris?" Nick asked. "Woah what?" He noticed his mess up.

"Chris double booked his girlfriends so he needs a fill-in." I rolled my eyes.

"That's crazy." He started laughing. The sound brought me comfort. I laughed a little too. We both went downstairs to see Chris dressed and ready to go. He was dressed less fancy than I was. I gave him a look.

"Alexis and I are Netflix and chilling." He said it humorously.

"Let me get a picture of this." Nick fumbled his phone out.

"No!" Chris and I yelled at the same time. I did not want this coming out to anyone that I purposely dressed or was acting like Chris.

"What if Alexis or Aubrey sees it?" Chris was trying to go undetected. Nick put his phone away.

"Fine but you should probably wear a hoodie and cover those tattoos." I looked at Chris and then myself and saw my ink as the most noticeable difference. I just forget I have them sometimes.

"It would be cool if you didn't mess this up." Chris did pow pow with his fingers at me.

"Good luck with that." Nick left to go edit the last video we just recorded. I rolled my eyes just regretting all of this deeply. Being Chris' brother was taxing. I grabbed a jacket on the way out the door behind Chris. I drove and dropped him off at Alexis' house. I pulled up the directions to Aubrey's and started feeling my heart race. What do I do if she can tell? Am I supposed to out Chris? This was hands down his worst idea yet. He owed me big time for this. Alexis would have been more fun because she is hot at least but I know that's why Chris wanted to hang out with her. Come to think of it, I have never seen Aubrey. They "study" after school and go on dates every once in a while. Chris just happened to book them both for today like an idiot. I wish Nick still had his dark brown hair then he could do this. That would be some comedy. I smirked to myself at the thought of Nick acting like Chris. I texted Chris and told him to text her he was there. After a few minutes, the front door opened and Aubrey came out to the car. I reached over and opened the door from the inside for her.

"You never drive, this is cool." Fuck. I didn't think about that.

"I wanted tonight to be special." I cringed knowing Chris would never say that. Once she was buckled she turned to look at me and I locked eyes with her. Since this was the first time I had ever seen her I studied her face. She had light brown eyes with tan skin. Her cheeks and nose were dotted with freckles and her hair was falling over her shoulders in little curls. She smiled at me and I instantly felt guilty for lying and helping Chris cheat.

"So where are we going?" Her voice was like honey. Sweet and thick. It swirled around in the air I was suffocating in. "You okay?" She asked me.

"Yeah, I just - wow, you are beautiful," I said. I was sort of speechless because of how good she looked.

"Thank you." She started blushing a little. I shook my head getting back on track to the date.

"We are going to Hana Yori." I decided she deserved a good night and a plain movie date wouldn't be fair to her.

"You are so sweet." She grabbed my hand and held it. I let her. We arrived at the restaurant and were seated fast. I almost said 'Matt' when checking in but she was playing on her phone so it went unnoticed.

"What sushi are you getting?" I asked her. I hated sushi and didn't know anything about any kind so I was probably going to copy her choice.

"Would you find it cliche to get the California roll?" She did a little giggle.

"I think I'll get that too." I smiled. All I could think was how could Chris justify cheating on her she was so beautiful and she was clearly smart if she could keep Chris from failing his classes. The dinner passed and I casually hid little pieces of sushi all over the table and even dropped a couple on the floor to be extra discreet. She talked most of the time but I liked listening to her. I was learning about her family and her pet cat. She told me about how she was nervous for a test because if she failed she wouldn't be able to apply for a certain college she wanted. She talked about her parents fighting and how she couldn't wait to leave the house for good. She was a real person and it was cool to see her emotions change while going through the ups and downs of her week.

"Chris?" I snapped back to reality.

"Yeah?" I asked back.

"Are you okay? I usually don't do all of the talking."

"I'm good. I just like hearing about you. It's dope." I don't know why I kept thinking Chris talked so weird but I was nervous and that's what I was blaming it on.

"Dope?" She laughed. Her laugh was a little ugly but it was defining which was cool.

"You ready to go?" I asked looking at her empty plate. She nodded. While paying I made a mental note of how much it cost because I was definitely making Chris pay me back for helping him out.

"Are you sure you are okay? You are a little quieter than normal." She grabbed my hand and started swinging it back and forth with hers as we walked to the car.

"Yeah, I'm just enjoying my night with you." That wasn't entirely a lie. I had heard some things about her from Chris before but he failed to mention how perfect she was. It did make sense though with some extra thought. Chris and I don't like the same girls. Alexis is hot but I find her very bleak and dumb. I just assumed Aubrey was ugly because Chris never described her as anything other than smart. I wasn't sure what I was expecting but Aubrey wasn't it. She was quiet in the car ride to her house. I played some random rap over the Bluetooth hoping it was something Chris would normally vibe with her. I saw her looking at me a lot; it was making me nervous I was caught. We might be triplets but growing up in that scenario you try to be your own person every chance you get. If you knew one of us well it wasn't hard to tell the other two apart.

"Do you want to come in?" She was a little shy in asking. This is where it got tricky. I knew what going inside meant. The hardest part is Chris wouldn't say no. Chris was a lot more open with girls. He was himself and girls just gravitated towards him. It made me so envious he never had to try. "Chris? Do you want to come inside?" I had to make a choice.

"Yeah, sure." I sighed hard after she stepped out of the van. I turned the key and stepped out. She opened her front door and looked back at me before entering.

"We have to be quiet, my parents are upstairs." She whispered. I nodded letting her know I understood. We shuffled through the house. It was dark and since I had never been here before I held her hand getting tugged along. She opened a door and clicked a light switch showing stairs. We took the stairs down to the basement where she flipped another light on. The basement was completely finished with carpet, furniture, and a mini movie theater-looking living area. "You can take your shoes and jacket off." She said doing the same.

"I'm a bit cold so I'll keep the jacket." I couldn't take it off because of the tattoos Nick pointed out earlier.

"Well, at least come sit down." She chuckled. She grabbed my jacket and pulled me on top of her.

"Woah," I said holding myself up to create some space between our bodies. "I shouldn't -"

"Come on. What is with you?" She slapped my chest playfully. I sadly only had one good excuse which was the truth but that would cause problems for Chris and I didn't want to let my brother down. I looked into her eyes and saw the little twinkle pleading for me, well, Chris technically. Her freckles were even cuter up close. She was looking all around my face waiting for my response.

"Nothing," I said going for it. What was the harm in one kiss? I closed the space between us and connected our lips. She immediately engaged with my motions and kissed me back. She started tugging at my jacket trying to get it off. Instead of taking it off, I started tugging at her daisy-printed dress to divert her attention. She slipped out of her dress and pecked me once.

"Are you going to -" She was blushing. This was it. We were caught. Instead of answering her, I started sucking on her neck to buy time. I had to think of a good excuse to leave before things got too serious. She grabbed my pants and unbuttoned them. I tried to keep them held up but she had both her hands tugging them off. Once I was down to my compression shorts she didn't hesitate to slip her hand down my chest to under the waistband to my boner. In my absolute defense, I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time so this kind of touching and kissing hasn't happened to me in a while. "Take your jacket off." She whispered in my ear before kissing my neck. It was when she lightly bit me that I lost all regard for Chris in this situation and fell into the moment. I threw my jacket and shirt on the floor in one big heap. She slipped off her bra and I kissed her breast for a second before making my way back up past her jaw to her mouth. While our mouths were connected I carefully moved us to the chaise lounge part of the couch so she could lay down all the way. She reached for a blanket and tossed it over us. Once I was covered from the waist down I felt more comfortable taking off the rest of my clothing. Aubrey did the same. I looked at her one more time trying to get permission. She smiled and rested her hand on the back of my waist and pulled me into her. I held myself on my forearms and slowly rocked my hips into hers. She was moaning and scratching my back. Nothing about this felt wrong. When she was getting too loud I kissed her so she wouldn't alert her parents.

"I'm close." I realized my reckless behavior by not using a condom. I lifted myself so I could pull out in time. She reached and gripped my arms. I visually saw her face change to question when she noticed the tattoos.

"Nick?" She questioned.

"Matt," I said still moving on top of her. I was caught and not sure how she was going to take it.

"Oh my god Matt." She involuntarily curled into my chest and I felt her orgasm. I wasn't expecting any of this to happen and I too was suddenly orgasming. I laid down next to her on the couch and looked at her. I stared into her eyes as they darted all over my face. "You're Matt?" She finally asked.

"Yeah." The truth was out. I was waiting for her to freak out or something but she didn't.

"Where is Chris?" I had to give him up now.

"I didn't want to tell you this but I kind of have to now. He -"

"He is seeing Alexis." She interrupted me.

"He is, yeah. Wait. You know?" I was caught off guard by her nonchalant tone.

"I had a feeling. At school, they were always hanging out. I just put it together."

"Why would you stay with him?" I leaned up on one elbow.

"Chris is like super popular. I just wanted to be considered cool." She wasn't showing confidence anymore. She looked nervous being honest with me even after the moment we just shared.

"You are cool," I said excitedly.

"I've never met you before today." She was being skeptical. "You are just saying that because we fucked." She gripped the blanket that was covering her up tighter. She stared up at the plain white ceiling.

"No, no, no. That's not it." I felt so bad for everything tonight. This poor girl has been used by Chris for months and she just put up with it because she wanted friends. And now she probably feels like I used her too. "I had so much fun tonight."

"Really?" She looked back at me. Her big puppy dog eyes were looking for approval.

"Yeah." I smiled softly. "I hate sushi though." She giggled.

"But you ate it?"

"No, I threw it under the table." She full-on laughed again and I knew I was making her feel better.

"Why did you pretend to be Chris?" My heart leaped a little.

"Honestly, I don't know. You might not believe this but I am not like this. I didn't want to do it. He begged me to."

"And he's your brother." She was understanding.

"Yeah." I sighed. I was super mad at myself for going along with Chris' stupid plan. I should have known immediately because it was Chris that nothing was going to go well. There was an uncomfortable silence. "I'm going to get going." I couldn't tell if she wanted me there anymore. I wouldn't blame her for wanting some space to think about everything. I started getting dressed again.

"Matt?" Her voice was hesitant.

"Yeah?" I stopped tugging my jacket on to give her my full attention.

"I had fun tonight too." She played with her hair and looked nervous.

"I'll call you soon Aubrey." I felt better at flirting since I was being myself. I snuck out of the house fast and got into the van. I was smiling super hard and I couldn't stop. Aubrey was amazing. She was beautiful and smart and her life wasn't crazy. She was a lot like me I learned over dinner tonight. I hope Chris isn't mad at me but I think I like her. I didn't think I could because Chris likes her too. At least, I think he does. I got home and instantly ran into Nick and Chris in the kitchen.

"How was it?" Nick asked first.

"Did she figure it out?" Chris looked a little worried.

"She did." I had lied enough tonight. It was exhausting.

"Fuck." Chris started pacing the kitchen floor. "Was she mad?" He ran his fingers through his hair stressed.

"I don't think so?" I ran my fingers through my hair in thought about everything that happened and what was said between Aubrey and I.

"What does that mean?"

"She like already knew you were seeing Alexis."

"What? Then why would she not say something?"

"She was using your status to be cool." I tossed my jacket on the couch.

"That's crazy." Nick finally chimed in.

"Yeah, so it's all fair. You used her for good grades and she used you to be cool. I am going to go shower." I started walking away but Nick stopped me.

"Why is your shirt inside out?" He had a silly look on his face.

"I... uh... um..." What was I supposed to say?

"Matt?" Chris came closer to Nick and I.

"Look she thought I was you the whole time until..."

"Until what?" Nick and Chris said at the same time.

"Until we had sex... and she saw my tattoos." I just needed to be out with it.

"What?" Chris yelled. I couldn't tell if it was an angry one or just disbelief.

"Matty, Matty, Matty." Nick shook his head back and forth.

"She thought I was you." I was getting defensive.

"I told you to take her on a date not fuck her," Chris yelled back.

"It was fine until she saw my tattoos." I wasn't sure what else to say. Chris finally showed his true feelings about the situation when he started laughing. Nick was lost along with myself.

"This is insane." Chris kept laughing. I couldn't explain why but my nerves were at an all-time high. Even though Chris didn't seem upset in the slightest I felt like I was in trouble. I think Nick took notice of this and wrapped an arm around me.

"How do you feel about your date?" He asked.

"It was fine. We got sushi." I wasn't hungry even though I didn't eat yet.

"Do you like her?" Chris composed himself.

"I don't... I mean... I could." I stuttered.

"Look bud it's okay if you do. You said it yourself I was only using her to pass a few classes."

"I really just want to go shower." I wanted some time to think about it all. This was going to be a hard thing to resolve.

"Don't take too long, I wanna talk more about this." Chris shook my shoulder and I shrugged out of it. I escaped upstairs but still heard Chris and Nick laughing about it. How could they be laughing and calm? I finished showering and took notice of the silence in the house when I got out. I felt better. I think for this situation to make any sense at all I just have to admit I like her to her and Chris. I slipped into bed and got comfortable. I sighed. "So you like her?" I jumped.

"Jesus, what are you doing?" I rolled over to see Chris cozy shirtless in my bed.

"I told you I wasn't done talking about it." He was unreadable.

"What now?" I rolled my eyes as a reflex even though it was dark in the room and he couldn't see it.

"So tell me more about the date."

"Chris." I groaned.

"Pwease tell me." He asked in a baby voice.

"We went to eat. She talked the whole time. I was nervous I would say something wrong. I went to drop her off and she asked me to come inside. I figured you would so I did."

"Go on."

"We were talking in the basement and she just jumped me. I didn't think you would say no so I didn't."

"But you wanted to?"

"At first yeah. Then it got serious and it wasn't -"

"Wasn't what?"

"Nothing. I can't believe we are even talking about this. It's late. Go to bed." I rolled away from him. I didn't care if he slept in here I just wanted him to shut up. I didn't want to tell him about how nice it was or that I enjoyed it.

"If you like her, and I mean genuinely like her, I want you to know you have my blessing." I felt him shifting in the bed. We went to bed in silence.

In the morning I woke up alone in bed. I heard everyone moving downstairs. I wasn't ready to have an awkward day with Chris. I sulked downstairs to see everyone in a good mood.

"Morning." Nick ruffled my hair and I swatted him away.

"Morning," I mumbled. I avoided looking at Chris.

"Any plans today guys? Let's film the jello video." Nick suggested right away. He always kept us on track for videos. We weren't blowing up or anything but he was going to make sure we did.

"I can but not until after five I have a date with Aubrey." Chris sipped his soda. My head shot in his direction to see if he was serious. "She messaged me last night wanting to hang out." He shrugged.

"Wow. Okay." I sighed. I was actually mad at him. I couldn't tell what game he was playing but I was not too fond of it. I was jealous.

"Can we film it after five then?" Nick was playing oblivious to what he just said.

"Yeah, sure." Chris smiled. I couldn't help but stare at him. My brain was trying to analyze what could be going on. Did he suddenly want her because I liked her? Though that wasn't like Chris at all maybe he rethought what he had said last night.

"Matt?" I looked at Nick finally.

"Yeah. I can do the video." I couldn't let him know how bothered I was.

"Great. Meet back in the kitchen around 6:30," Nick instructed. I grabbed a bowl of cereal and escaped into my room. I sat down at my computer table and started journaling my issues with this situation. I couldn't help but feel like it was entirely my fault because I said yes to going on the stupid date. But the more I thought about my night with Aubrey the more I didn't regret it at all. She was so awesome. I wanted to see her again and talk to her and make sure she was doing okay after everything we did. As enjoyable as it was to be intimate with her I felt bad for using my position as Chris to do that, even though it was unplanned entirely. Since I was in my gaming corner I started Twitch streaming out of boredom. A few hundred people started watching and messaging me questions. I was answering some of them for fun as I was shooting zombies.

"I'm fine guys. Just having a really bad mental health day." I answered someone. Everyone started blowing the chat up with sorrys and questions. I silently shot more zombies and relieved my stress. Nick was requesting to be added to the stream. I accepted. Everyone freaked out. I smiled. It was always fun to see the pull we had on people.

"Hey guys! Sorry, but I have to steal Matt. We have a top-secret mission to complete." People started guessing what they assumed it was. "It's just filming Wednesday's video." He gave it up quickly.

"What time is it?" I looked at my phone and saw it wasn't after 5 yet. Chris was still gone. "I guess I have to go now. Bye, everyone." I'm sure Nick had a good reason. I stopped the stream. Nick came into my room unannounced. "Is Chris back?" I asked taking my headphones off.

"No. I just wanted to say something before we start the jello video." I stood up.

"Alright."

"I don't know what Chris is up to but he usually has bad actions for good intentions. So maybe give him the benefit of the doubt on this one."

"Nick, he took her on a date after I made it clear that I liked her."

"Did you make it clear?" He asked.

"I mean it was pretty obvious." I rolled my eyes.

"Either way. I don't think Chris wants to hurt you." He explained.

"Whatever. I'm done talking about it." I shrugged and walked downstairs. He followed me. I turned around and glared at him.

"I have to set up for the video." He raised his hands in defense. He went to the kitchen and started grabbing all the utensils needed. Both of us perked up when the door opened. Chris came inside. He wasn't smiling or frowning. It was weird. "Ready for the video?"

"Yeah. I wanna change quick." He wasn't wearing anything fancy or too cozy so it was hard to decide what kind of date they had. I stayed sitting on the chair in the corner. I scrolled my phone as I felt Nick sneaking glances at me every once in a while. Chris' feet came pattering down the stairs and I looked up. He was wearing pajama pants and a white tee shirt.

"Okay, so this video is gonna be dangerous," Nick said enticingly. I moved to sit at the kitchen island. "We are going to make jello, deaf, mute, and blind." His enthusiasm was over the top for such a bleak idea.

"I'd rather just do a car video." I sighed.

"Same." Chris agreed with me. It annoyed me he was agreeing with me.

"Oh. Okay. Let's do that instead. Get ready." Nick looked disappointed his idea was shot down so quickly. I grabbed a power bank for my phone and the car keys and went to wait for them. Nick was first out hauling the camera bags and snacks. Chris came out with nothing in hand and no visual difference. Probably took a long time doing nothing to avoid me. We set up the camera once we were parked across from CVS. I went to push record but Nick yelled stopping me.

"What?" I looked back wide-eyed.

"What is our topic about?"

"I got one," I said. I wasn't sure if it was a good one but it could get interesting. I pressed record.

"Yippity Yak we are back," Chris said immediately.

"No." Nick was straight. "Matt, since you have the topic you can introduce it, and please hurry so that doesn't happen again." Nick motioned to Chris being weird.

"So, I recently had this happen to me and I thought maybe you guys have gone through the same thing too so talking about it could be -"

"Oh great a mental health video."

"Chris shut the fuck up!" Nick yelled at him.

"Talking about it could be beneficial to you guys."

"Get there." Chris was being extra rude for no reason.

"He's fucking trying!" Nick was in the middle of us, literally and figuratively.

"Alright, so ignoring them, today's topic is what to do when someone close to you stabs you in the back." Nick's mouth dropped. Chris just looked at me as solid as a rock. After a long silence, I opened the conversation up.

"Any thoughts Nick?" I looked in the rear-view mirror to see him.

"I guess it would just depend on how close this person is to you." He was hesitant.

"Let's say a sibling." I sneered.

"Maybe their intentions weren't to hurt you." Chris finally spoke up.

"But if they were -" Nick started.

"And how would you know that?" Chris interrupted to defend.

"Pretty easy to tell if you are close to them." I was looking at Chris but avoiding eye contact. I knew if I made eye contact I would probably just get even more upset.

"I think talking to them is the first step." Nick was trying to stay neutral.

"Yeah, just talk to them." Chris looked at the camera and smiled. It wasn't what he said that made me boil over but more so the way he said it along with the fake smug smile at the camera like he didn't do anything wrong.

"How could you go on a date with Aubrey after I told you I kind of liked her!?" I yelled.

"There it is," Nick said sitting back.

"She texted me," Chris yelled back.

"So?" I wasn't sure what to say.

"So, she wanted to talk about last night." Chris wasn't looking at me which was making me more mad. It also made him harder to read.

"Okay, well, I needed to talk to her before you did." I don't know if that was true but I wanted to talk to her so badly. I wanted a chance to really be myself and explain everything without Chris fucking it up.

"She told me she wasn't upset about last night and she likes you and wanted to make sure I wouldn't be upset if she started talking to you more."

"What?" Nick leaned forward. I went silent.

"What?" I asked again after Nick.

"We were basically agreeing to break up with no hard feelings because she wants you." I stared blankly at him.

"Get it, Matt!" Nick shook my shoulder. I couldn't help but smile a little. She liked me.

"Now can you stop being mad at me?" Chris sounded genuine.

"I.. uh... yeah." I stuttered.

"Did you honestly think that I would fight with you over a girl?" Chris folded his arms. His smug smile was annoying me this time but only because he was right.

"I told you." Nick yelled from the backseat.

"You guys were talking shit about me?" Chris whipped around to look at Nick.

"I wasn't." He threw me under the bus. Chris looked at me.

"Don't act like you were some holy angel. Begging me to tell you how I felt and then taking her out was sus." I rolled my eyes avoiding his eye contact.

"She called me wanting to meet up. By what you said last night I had a feeling she was feeling you. I've never slept with her." Chris started giggling.

"You never -?" Nick put a hand on Chris' shoulder.

"No, I just copied her notes and homework and then we hung out." I started feeling my cheeks flush red.

"Now I'm just confused." I shook my head back and forth. Why would she choose to sleep with Chris the one night he and I switched places? Either she knew I wasn't Chris or she just chose the absolute worst time to get frisky.

"Well, you must be good at -" Chris started.

"Shut the fuck up. Don't finish that." I said seriously. I was a little embarrassed about everything coming to light.

"You already did," Nick mumbled from the back seat. Chris lost it. He was rocking back and forth with his face covered while his laugh permeated through the car. Nick was smiling super wide but not contributing to the sound. I was fighting a smile.

"Can we just not do this, please," I said more annoyed than begging. They simmered down.

"So what are you going to do?" Nick was bringing the conversation back to serious.

"I -" The timer went off for us to reset the camera. "Did we just film that whole thing?" We all looked at the camera forgetting it was there.

"Nick you better delete all of that," Chris said.

"I will." He reached into the bag for another battery. Chris disassembled the SD card and battery while I scrolled my phone. After they had the camera settled I put it back up.

"So what are we actually filming?" Nick looked at me specifically.

"I don't know. I don't have anything." I shook my head no.

"Do we have to do one tonight?"

"No."

"I want to get home and see if I can talk to Aubrey." I quickly drove all of us home so I could disappear into my room. I left them behind in the garage and ran up the stairs skipping steps. I was nervous and eager to talk to her. I'm glad Chris didn't fuck it up for me. I wish I could say I believed in him the whole time but there was a moment of doubt for sure. I messaged her my phone number through Facebook and stared at the little circle waiting to see if her picture appeared showing she saw it. After a while it did. She was typing.

I'll call you in 5 (:

I stopped biting my thumbnail to respond.

Okay

I immediately started biting my nails again waiting for her to call. Five minutes passed and she wasn't calling. Maybe she didn't want to call me. I sighed at myself. I try to not let things like this get to me normally and here I am freaking out over small details. I laid back on my bed. I felt my phone vibrating. I shot up to my feet and answered the phone.

"Hey." I said rushed. I cringed.

"Hey, I don't have long to talk. I'm at a party."

"Oh." My true emotions were showing. Nick, Chris, and I don't drink or smoke. We are pretty chill. We go to parties but usually end up leaving when things get uncomfortable.

"It's a study party." She giggled.

"Oh." My voice raised with realization. "I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go out on a date."

"We already did." She laughed. I smiled at her little joke.

"I meant with me." I specified.

"I would love to Matt." She answered the question.

"Cool."

"I gotta go. I'll text you."

"Study hard." Her laugh was cut off by her hanging up. "Study hard? What the hell is wrong with me?" I said aloud to myself. I opened my door to find Nick and Chris right there.

"So, how did it go?" Chris pressed.

"I got a date."

"Let's go Matt." They jumped me and started hooting and hollering approval at me.

"Just gotta wait until she texts me now." I looked at my phone.

"What are you going to do in the meantime?" Chris asked me.

"I don't know. Wait I guess." I shrugged.

"You could study hard." Nick made fun of me.

"You heard that?" I smacked him.

"Hey, maybe you guys could "study" together." Chris put his joke in there with air quotes.

"I hate you both." We all laughed. Even though being a triplet was complicated at times it was nice always having the support from my two brothers. Having Chris' support meant a little more to me because of the current situation. I wasn't nervous about pursuing Aubrey but instead, I felt confident and excited.

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