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I have to pretend to be shocked that making fanart gets you a ton of likes bc why are my two ms paint doodles doing on Twitter
#I mean numbers by my standards since I don’t post#now I got folks following uhhh I’m justa office worker I don’t have the hutspa to keep up on social media
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anyway fae lord frotting and fucking their transformed pets
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*doom music starts to play* I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...
but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a pap smear every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu
this has been a psa
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Our dog likes licking his head and he just wanna be leave alone and digest what happened
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I fuckin love corporate America I was wrong
These idiots have associates appreciation week and they are making me work TWO properties- I’m getting so much free food!
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Every single time someone mentions police role-playing in a sexual context I think of this tinder interaction and I instantly become absolutely stricken with laughter
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I bet taking a foot fetish bf to a grape stomping would be a dream date
#I’m looking at wine train rides and one offers grape stomping#I feel hesitant to let my dogs out cuz you never know
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My job decided to hire someone else instead of transferring me like I requested and the person pulled out on what was supposed to be their first day!!
#‘’we want someone more outgoing at this location’’ well you’re stuck with me bitch!!#womp womp!!#*takes a drag of my cigarette* so you come crawling back to me huh?
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unavoidable that you will be the villain in someone else's story. You will be painted in an unfavorable light. You will be the irredeemable one. and all of this will happen despite how nice you might usually be or how kind or how respectful or how warm. and you will just have to move on.
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Where tf is maintenance? Now I gotta mop in my cunty little heels
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it's because you're always sexualizing that damn senior citizen
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sorry for picking up your online speech patterns. I liked them.
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“i can fix him” “i can make him worse” i can imagine him in little scenarios every night as i’m falling asleep
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