#in the anatomical sense i mean
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One thing I love about my job is that part of it involves processing, cataloging, and describing new manuscript acquisitions. A lot of what we get comes in the form of individual detached manuscript leaves so doing this involves a lot of research in order to identify them, and that's a lot of fun. I'm working on a couple of new items right now and loving it (this is the first time I've had to do it since I've only worked here a couple of years).
Also sometimes it requires me to read up on abbreviations in Iberian gothic hands and then I find stuff like this:
#i am a mature scholar#btw while 'penis' is in fact a latin word#in the anatomical sense i mean#the version here is actually just 'poenis' with the diphthong elided#which is v common in medieval latin#and also it's funny
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ultratober24 /// Day 3
Despair
This turned out waaaay better than I thought. It involved a lot of element that I struggle with, so I'm very proud!
#ultrakill#ultratober#ultratober24#Please ignore any anatomical inaccuracies. Thank you#Found a cool watercolor brush sets and went ham with it#It payed off well#Should I tag Gabriel? I mean he's there in a sense =-=#Kido art#my art#my stuff
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can't get rid of the feeling that i use references as a crutch to make better art when i myself in raw form am talentless. and i know it's not exactly true cuz you still need to have skills to be able to utilize references properly yknow. but yea, brain stupid
#but i mean it's kind of true actually#the only time i was able to make somewhat decent art#is when i've started actively using references#and i know that if i were to take them away from myself#i would not do too hot#not even in anatomical sense cuz i think my anatomy is decent enough#but in a sense that. i cannot think of an interesting fun pose for the life of me#i draw log people#so they are my crutch#why do you think i'm shit at drawing backgrounds? it's the same reason#lack of imagination. and no possible crutch for that sadly
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making evil hunter nathaniel etc. excuse to make him look freaky etc etc. but trust that he will stay 5'3 no matter what idc if hunters are bigger. he's special.
#so is xxv but it makes a bit more sense if u see the design for xxv's hunter form to look static and small#ooh i love them i love them#maybe i'll make this their 'bad ending' if things don't work out 🤔#that is if xxv is faced with a certain death and nathaniel finally gets chewed and spat out by yidhra#im so excited u will see what i mean trust trust#yidhra is the best thing to happen to nathaniel and me ok she lets me do so much anatomically incorrect bullshittery#delete later#clearing out my drafts sorry 😭
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Wet Beast Wednesday: moray eels
This week on Wet Beast Wednesday I'll be going over something amazing, a fish with a sense of morality. You see, the moral eel is known for, what... I think I'm reading this wrong. Oh, MoRAY eel, not moral. Well this is awkward. Hang tight, I need to go redo my research.
(Image: a green moray (Gymnothorax funebris) swimming outside of its burry, with its whole body visible from the side. It is a long, slender fish that looks a bit like a snake. A long fin starts just below the head and continues down the length of the body. The body is arranged in a wave pattern. It has a pointed snout and small eyes. Its body is a yellow-green color. In the background is the sandy seafloor, dotted with various sponges and corals. End ID)
Moray eels are true eels, meaning they are in the order Anguiliformes. Yeah, I did wolf eels, electric eels, and lamprey eels before I got around to actual eels. There are over 200 known species of moray eel in 15 genera. Like other eels, they are elongated bony fish with extra vertebrae and reduced fins. Moray eels have fewer fins than most eel species, only having a dorsal, anal and tail fin that merge together and run down the back of most of the body and underneath portion of it. They achieve motion by undulating this long fin and sometimes undulating the rest of the body as well. Moray eels aren't the fastest of fish, but they can swim backwards, something almost no fish can. The head has a long snout with wide jaws. Most species have long fangs used to grab onto prey, but a few species are adapted to eat hard-shelled prey and have molar-like teeth to crush through shells instead. Probably the coolest feature of morays are the pharyngeal jaws. This is a second set of jaws located in the back of the mouth. When the eel bites onto prey, the jaws can be shot forward to grab the food and help pull it into the throat. While lots of fish have pharyngeal jaws, morays are the only ones who can extend their pharyngeal jaws forward and use them to grab prey. Morays have smooth, scaleless skin that is often patterned to provide camouflage. The skin is coated in mucus that provides protection from damage and infection. In some species, the mucus can be used to glue sand together to help reinforce burrows. Morays lack lateral lines, a system of organs found in most fish that senses changes in water movement. Their sense of smell is their primary sense. The size of morays varies between species. The smallest species is the dwarf moray eel (Gymnothorax melatremus) which reaches 26 cm (10 in) long. The largest species by mass is the giant moray eel (Gymnothorax javanicus) which can reach 3 meters (10 ft) and 30 kg (66 lbs) while the longest species is the slender giant moray (Strophidon sathete), the longest known specimen of which measured in at 3.94 m (12.9 ft).
New reaction image
(Image: a giant moray (Gymnothorax javanicus) emerging from a burrow. It is brown and mottled with yellowish patches. Its head is pointed at the camera and it's mouth is wide open, aming it look shocked. End ID)
(Image: an anatomical diagram of the skeleton of a moray eel emphasizing the pharyngeal jaws and the muscle attachments. End ID. Art by Zina Deretsky)
Moray eels are found throughout the Atlantic, Pacific, and Indian oceans. Different species are found in different temperatures and depths, though most species live in relatively shallow, warm water. Several species can live in brackish water and a few will swim upriver and live for a time in fresh water, though there do not appear to be any species that live their entire lives in fresh water. Morays are ambush predators who rely on the element of surprise. They live in small, tight places such as holes in coral, gaps between rocks, or sandy burrows. When prey passes, the eel can lunge out and grab it. Unlike most fish, the eel cannot use suction feeding due to the shapes of their mouths. They have to rely on lunging froward and catching prey with their mouths. Their mouths are adapted in shape to push water to the sides. This reduces water resistance and avoids creating a wave that could push prey away from the eel. If an eel catches prey that cannot be swallowed whole, it will tie itself in a knot while biting on to the food. By pulling its head through the loop, the eel can rip the food into bite-sized pieces. Spending most of their times in burrows also provides protection from predators, especially in juveniles or smaller species. At night, the eels will come out of their burrows to hunt sleeping prey while the larger predators are asleep. Giant morays have also been seen engaging in interspecies cooperative hunting with roving coral groupers (Plectropomus pessuliferus). The eels can fit into small crevices the groupers can't to flush prey into the grouper's path while catching their own. Morays are mostly solitary species and many can be territorial. They are known to be shy and will retreat into their burrows if they feel threatened. They are also curious and many species are quite intelligent.
(Image: a male ribbon eel (Rhinomuraena quaesita) on a coral reef. It is a very long and slender eel with its body curved in many waves. It is brightly colored, with a blue-purple body, yellow fin and face, and a long black and white stripe running down the back half of the body. On the nostrils are two feather-like structures. End ID)
Morays reproductive strategies are poorly known and differ based on species. While many species seem to have no set mating season and will reproduce whenever they can, others will mate at the same time every year. Some species seem to have dedicated spots to lay their eggs and a few are believed to be anadromous, meaning they travel from the sea to fresh water to spawn. Meanwhile, some of the species that spend a lot of time in fresh water are catadromous, meaning they return to sea to mate. Females will lay their eggs and the male fertilize them. After this, they depart, providing no parental care. As with all true eels, moray eels begin life as leptocephalus larvae. This type of fish larvae is notable for its resemblance to a simple, transparent leaf with a head on one end. These larvae are unique and poorly understood, despite being the larval stage of a lot of different species of fish. They are unusually well developed for larvae, capable of active swimming and generally living life. In fact, some particularly large leptocephalus larvae were initially mistaken for adult fish. They feed mostly on bits of drifting organic material called marine snow and can remain in the larval stage for up to 3 years, with those in colder conditions usually taking longer to metamorphose. All leptocephalus larvae start out with no sex organs, then develop female organs, then develop male ones, becoming simultaneous hermaphrodites. They will ultimately become eith male or female and it is likely that environmental factors are the main determining factor. During metamorphosis into a juvenile, the leptocephalus can reduce in size by up to 90%, resulting in the juvenile being smaller than the larva. The process of maturation is poorly understood, but it seems that most morays will be sexually mature by three years of age.
(Image: multiple photos of a particularly large leptocephalus larva (not sure what species). It is a translucent organis, wth a body shaped like a very long leaf, narrow at both ends. In the frint is a very tiny head. End ID)
Morays are shy and generally avoid humans. Though some cultures have hunted them for food, they are often not considered a particularly good food source. Many species have high levels of chemicals called ciguatoxins in their bodies, which can lead to a condition called ciguatera fish poisoning if eaten. The largest threat to morays is habitat loss. This is especially true for the many species that live in coral reefs, which are in increasing danger due to global warming. Attacks on humans are rare and usually happen as a response to a human sticking their hand in the eel's burrow. Some of the large species could cause significant damage with a bite. Some species, usually the smaller ones, are found in the aquarium trade, thought they are not good pets for beginners as even the smallest morays are still large for aquarium fish and have some specific requirements. The curiosity many morays have has led to some becoming familiar with and even friendly to humans, often the result of feeding them. They can recognize individual humans and remember them over the course of years. Aquarium employees sometimes report that the eels will come to nuzzle and play with them and have personalities like dogs. Marine biologists and professional SCUBA divers Ron and Valorie Taylor befriended a pair of eels they named Harry and Fang at the Great Barrier Reef who would remember them and come out to visit them year after year.
(Image: a SCUBA diver hugging a large, brown moray with black spots. End ID)
youtube
(Video: A shot video showing Valeria Taylor and a moray eel she befriended)
youtube
(Video: the song "That's a Moray", a parody of the song "That's Amore" by Dean Martin)
#wet beast wednesday#i accidentally typed moron eel more than once#moray eel#eel#anguiliformes#fish#bony fish#fishblr#fishposting#eelposting#marine biology#biology#ecology#zoology#animal facts#informative#image described#that's a moray#educational#Youtube
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Some of my opinions, in no particular order
golf courses should be abolished. mini golf can stay. actual golf? no. golf courses take up so much water to maintain their grass, grass which, btw, is a monoculture and bad for wildlife. the area that golf courses take up could be used for affordable housing, or natural areas left to grow with wild native plants that are better for the insect populations. but nooo, we gotta use all this land so that stuck up rich people can play the most boring game ever invented. bullshit.
the police should be abolished. i would settle for defunding but really they just need to go.
children are people, treat them as such. kids have thoughts and feelings that are just as real and valid as yours.
on a similar vein, you are allowed to not want children, but that doesn't give you a free pass to hate kids or be mean to kids. they didnt ask to be here, be kind.
there should be a maximum wage. after a certain point, there is no amount of labour you could possibly do to Earn that much money. your workers earned that money, and you are stealing it from them.
there is a difference between millionaires and billionaires. when i say eat the rich im not talking about actors and musicians, im talking about people who are directly responsible for poverty, hunger, suffering, and homelessness around the world. people who hoard obscene amounts of wealth that No One could ever hope to spend in an entire lifetime and simply watch while minimum wage workers struggle to put food on the table and the elderly freeze in their homes.
sex ed should start in primary school, at an age-appropriate level. if kids are old enough to ask questions about sex, they are old enough to learn about it in a safe environment. they should be taught correct anatomical names for body parts (penis, vulva, vagina, etc.).
there should be more research into autism and ADHD in adults, this shit doesn't just go away when you grow up.
diagnostic criteria for disabilities, disorders, and mental health conditions should be written by people who have or have had these conditions. how is someone supposed to know if they have autism, for example, if the symptoms are written from the perspective of someone who has never experienced it?? doesn't make any fucking sense.
hostile architecture should be illegal. unhoused people deserve a place to sleep. or better yet, give them houses. there are literal studies done that prove that housing people saves the government money in the long run, so why aren't we doing that? make it make sense
edit: updated to add more clarity to the golf thing. didn't explain that one well enough and left some people confused
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Dragon Age: "In #DragonAge: Vows and Vengeance, you'll get to meet all our companions before they joined the Veilguard - including a gentleman necromancer 💀 Subscribe and listen wherever you get your podcasts. Premieres August 29: [link]" [source]
This tweet mentions that the moments of the companions' lives depicted in the podcast are from times prior to them joining the Veilguard and therefore the events of the game.
Text in the notebook reads:
"Something's gone wrong. The dead stir more easily than they should."
Maybe we are looking at Emmrich's notebook here? ^^ it sounds like something isn't right in the Grand Necropolis and with the Veil/the dead in general. (I wonder if this is part of the reason why in the release date reveal trailer, there are giant undead skeletons causing a stir). In Nevarra/the Mortalitasi, they believe that when someone dies a spirit is pushed out of the Fade into the mortal world. In exchange, they invite those spirits to inhabit the empty bodies left behind. This is common orthodoxy for the Nevarran populace. when a spirit leaves the Fade, it crosses the Veil. when the Veil is thin (or weak or damaged..), demons and spirits can escape more easily into the waking world. once they do, they sometimes possess corpses. since we need to guard the Veil in this game and there's a Veil-tearing Lyrium dagger around (plus who knows what else Ghil and Elgar'nan and whatever else are doing to it..), it makes sense that if the Veil is damaged/at risk, more dead would stir and more easily than they should do. (in TN, Lord Penrick Karn's funeral procession was interrupted by his corpse's premature possession). you can see why a Mourn Watcher like Emmrich would be motivated to join a group dedicated to guarding the Veil.
The anatomical drawings here track, Nevarra has unrivalled knowledge of anatomy. <- DA:TV spoilers at link.
The notebook also reminds me of Grim Anatomy.
These numbers look to appear twice on the pages:
"7197 | 3.85715 7198 | 3.85721 7199 | 3.85727 | 6 7200 | 3.85733 | 6"
What do they mean? could it be a calculation, or a code?
And can anyone make out what the flowing script on the left hand page says? ^^ I wonder what language it's in? Whether it corresponds to a spell? it also reminds me of this exchange from the 'Meet The Companions' panel at SDCC, as it relates to Emmrich:
"Lucy: And I hear as well that Emmrich gets, I mean, you’re all gonna get some fantastic lines, but I hear that Emmrich has some quite spectacular ones. You, Nick, you and Ashley, I would love to hear about the process of, was it difficult to get like some of those tongue-twisters, and? Ashley: Yeah, Sylvia the lead writer basically was like, ‘Ash, you’re gonna need a dictionary for all of the sessions with Emmrich’, it’s like, 'Okay!’. And we get there, you just nailed them all, like 'shduhfejdkjjdhdjdhfjehfjkhehe into the Fade’. Nick: Well, I don’t know if I nailed them all, that’s very kind of you. But, there was some serious tongue-twisters there, and, but it’s great, it’s great to be in the booth, and to be given a challenge like that, and. Yeah, it’s fantastic, I mean that’s what I love to do, so it was great to be just gifted that."
[source]
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#<- this is my spoiler tag!!#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#dragon age: vows & vengeance#video games#long post#longpost#dragon age: tevinter nights
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from the same authors of "do you think zayne cum is cold?" we also have: do you think xavier cum shine in the dark, or that he shines when he comes (like that blonde female character from the boys, that i forgot the name)?
I know you are only message fics for now and i dont know if something like this would fit that format, but if you can i would love to read anything about this ♡
I’m gonna be honest with you nonnie, I’m VERY out of touch with modern media (I’ve watched like. 4 series in my entire life and a total of like 20 movies all in all) so I have no idea what you’ve just referenced, BUTTTT I do believe I have an answer to your question!! Of course this is all based off my silly headcanons, so take my opinion with a grain of salt🙏🏽 Of course, this is pretty NSFW, and the reader is gender-neutral as always!
To anyone else reading this, my requests are still closed!! These are just my ramblings, or old requests I had🫶🏽
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Metaphorically speaking, Xavier’s cum is pretty much lighter fluid
In the sense that this man’s diet is absolutely disastrous… can a person even live on an almost-purely-carnivorous diet???
Naturally that makes his cum a lot more bitter than it normally would be, so unless his lover wants to choke on battery acid every time they swallow his cum, they ought to sit down with him and have a few serious conversations regarding sex vs food
Either he pulls out of their mouth before he cums when they’re sucking him off, or he gets a little more greens in him in order to improve his own taste… fair enough, I would think!
Xavier doesn’t really mind; after all, he’s still eating lots of red meat, he just now balances that out with more fruits and veggies… and he still gets the overwhelming pleasure of watching his partner swallow his release with a much more pleased hum than they ever did, their thumb reaching out to catch any drops that spill out of the corner of their mouth
It drives him half mad, but he guesses that’s a small price to pay
Now that we’ve got the metaphorical part out of the way, let’s get to this interesting point: does he, or does he not glow when he climaxes?
I wouldn’t say that his cum glows, because if it did, I think his other bodily fluids would too
From a fictional anatomical standpoint, I highly doubt that his lover wouldn’t notice if his saliva had a bit of a glow (something they’d surely notice while making out or having a hearty meal, for example)
So I do believe his cum is as normal as normal could be for a man like him
I do believe, though, since he’s not 100% human (or, at the very least, not from Earth) that doesn’t mean he’s fully normal
I think that he would have abnormally thick cum, and I would assume that that has to do with his biological make-up
Given how people from Philos lead extremely long lives (given Xavier’s age, I’d give them a lifespan of 500+), and given how literally none of the characters from Philos have any siblings, I think it would be safe to assume that their seed isn’t very potent to start with
So if a person will live half a millennium and be able to have just 1 kid their entire life, I do believe that their cum would be stickier and thicker in order to have a higher chance of “taking” by not spilling out immediately
So I honestly think that Xavier’s cum is genetically modified for breeding purposes
And regardless of whether or not his significant other has the ability to become pregnant and/or even wants it at all, his brain has him wired to have a bit of a breeding kink that he can’t even help
But of course, he’ll always listen to and respect his partner’s wishes!
One thing I’ve noticed about Xavier, however, is that his eyes tend to lose their shine when he’s being forward and open about his sexual desires
He’s putty in his lover’s hands, yes, but once he takes control? Those angel eyes have a very intentional purpose, and he’s making that message come across loud and clear
Like a turbulent ocean, deep and all-consuming, his gaze leaves no doubts about what he wants
Now, here’s my headcanon: I like to think that when he’s close, his eyes get their shine back; so much so that they would be mistaken for tears
Maybe it’s the emotional attachment to the person he’s yearned for all these years, maybe it’s because of his own EVOL making its appearance
But for some reason, as he begins to lose control, his eyes do shine quite a bit, almost like freshly-cut sparkling sapphires
It’s quite dazzling and a bit surprising to witness for the first time, since Xavier doesn’t usually exhibit non-human behavior
But it makes that seraphic face seem all the more otherworldly; the contrast between how beautiful he is and how downright filthy his actions can be when he’s buried to the hilt inside them makes their head spin
After he’s spilled inside them amidst soft sighs and sweet moans, his eyes do go back to normal after a few seconds of closing them in bliss, so they might miss it if they’re not paying close attention
Kind of hard to look away though, when your lover looks like that
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Hii there~ What about headcannons for the M6 reacting to the MC making an anatomically correct heart model and gifting it to them as a way of saying "here, my heart is forever yours" in a metaphorical and kind of(? physical sense
The Arcana Mini-HCs: Giving M6 an anatomically correct heart
Julian: as a doctor, thank you for keeping it accurate. his little scholar heart is overjoyed. as a sentimental person, he's keeping it forever ;)
Asra: caught between a fit of giggles at how unconventional it is and a fulfilling joy at getting to trade hearts with you. take care of his <3
Nadia: swept up in the romance of it all but also mildly intrigued by the shape of it up close. tell her about the different chambers again
Muriel: a little squicked, but overall appreciate of the gesture and touched by the meaning. might hand you a wooden heart later
Portia: lovingly calls you a nerd for the shape and then calls you her love for the gift. holds it to her chest so it doesn't feel lonely
Lucio: "oh I've seen these before, I used to rip them out of - uh -" *cue nervous sweating* once he recovers, he's very appreciative of the gift
#ask arcana brainrot#the arcana#the arcana headcanons#the arcana hc#the arcana game#asra the arcana#julian the arcana#nadia the arcana#muriel the arcana#portia the arcana#lucio the arcana#asra alnazar#julian devorak#nadia satrinava#muriel of the kokhuri#portia devorak#lucio morgasson
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you mentioned wyrms retract the human-ish head to eat, do you have an idea of how that works, anatomically? I'm trying to imagine a cross section of those necks with separate tubes for air, food, the head and the spine. does the head get packed tight in some kind of sleeve? It would be really cool to see that cross section
(also would love to know more about the time Rev spent as a disembodied head, that must have been really weird)
well i was meaning to draw it anyway
the "human" portion (referred to as the head yes all of it) has its own heart, lungs, and accessory oesophagus, though it doesn't have its own stomach. there's a little crop which is the remains of the human stomach, kind of like an appendix now really. the accessory oesophagus (green) connects to the main crop in the chest area, running parallel to the dragon oesophagus but not attaching to it. when the head is out, the dragon mouth is occupied anyway so it doesn't need to eat and the oesophagus is a squishy tube that is collapsed when not in use (unlike the trachea) so there's no issues with space here, it's fine.
the lungs in the head area are only minorly used for gas exchange - they provide very little oxygen, really, but enough to keep that human part running in a very hypoxic state in the case of decapitation. Mostly they're just used to draw air over the vocal chords. If the lungs in the main body were compromised somehow, the wyrm would straight up cease to function (not death. but comatose), while if the head lungs broke, eh nbd it just means no voice until they heal. there is a syrinx inside the chest cavity which provides additional vocals - deep infrasound rumbles. the main lungs are gigantic and in larger wyrms will extend further into the body. in the case of multiple heads, there are multiple syrinxes where the tracheas connect to the lungs and that means they can produce polyphonic rumbles :) breathing is done through the dragon nostrils, there's a sizeable cavity there for their good sense of smell. in case you are wondering how they sync up their breaths when there's multiple heads, the lungs are birdlike in that it's a series of air sacs and a passive inhalation, and an active exhalation governed by different lobes of the lung at once (using the air sacs). each head has its own lobe. so the wyrm is in a constant state of inhaling and exhaling at different rates (if there's multiple heads)
the dragon oesophagus is the main one and it leads to a crop, which is where the wyrm denatures the powerful toxins of their prey and forms a pellet out of the inedible mandibles and spicules found within a crawling beast. this is spat up later and buried (no longer poisonous so nbd). edible portions go to the stomach. the liver is very big and very strong, it's almost impossible to poison a wyrm in any way (including drugs, alcohol, etc)
so the thing about the wyrms is that the number of legs is variable, Revelation obviously has two, Onozar has four. But the two that Revelation has are actually its forelegs! The torso extends quite a bit into what we would consider the Tail area, it's rather snakelike.
as a disembodied head, Rev had no heart, no functioning lungs, and was also completely paralysed because of the severed nerve cord in its (human) neck. literally from the jaw down it couldn't move, which is what made it such a convincing corpse. life was very underwhelming for it since it was essentially running on extreme battery saver mode, always watching and sensing the world but never truly perceiving what it saw and heard and felt. animals made nests in its chest cavity, and it was infested with scavenging worms for a while, but its own flesh is distasteful to other living beings and nothing did enough damage to actually cause decomposition. just some nasty wounds.
Rev needed Wildfire to literally rip up a crawler and put the meat in its mouth before any attempts at healing could be made. when it finally got its lungs working again it found they were full of detritus - dust, spores, roots, random stuff. growing back the lower body would have taken decades more if it continued at the same pace, so it used a little bit of magic and Wildfire's other tiercels' flesh to construct the most basic shape of its lower body, and once it had those bits intact it could start properly gaining strength and growing.
#ice storm over kosa#i'm currently writing all about rev trapped paralysed in a cave for a thousand years. what i've learned is that it wasn't fun
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My mom bought me this book for Christmas
The Resurrectionist by EB Hudspeth, a fantasy field guide full of anatomical illustrations of monsters and cryptids.
The musculoskeletal systems are fun to look at, but not nearly as in-depth as I would have liked. If you have more than a passing knowledge of taxonomy (or in my case, access to Wikipedia), a lot of the details fall apart under scrutiny
The harpy has four upper limbs connected to one shoulder girdle; it shouldn't have arms, only wings
The sphinx is not classified as a mammal, but is still somehow in the family Felidae with cats (and like the harpy is also drawn with only two girdles despite having six limbs. I will give the author credit for giving the sphinx a keel for the wing muscles to attach to)
It lists the Hindu deity Genesha as a cryptid, which is a no-no.
Cerberus is also explicitly not a mammal, but somehow still a canine (literally in the species Canis with wolves, dogs, and coyotes)
Both mermaids and dragons are listed as members of the order Caudata; the only extant members of Caudata are salamanders, which kinda makes sense for dragons, but not so much for mermaids (also, the author keeps playing it fast and loose with cladistics; both mermaids and dragons are in the same order despite being in different classes, and while dragons are explicitly said to be amphibians, mermaids are given the fictional class mammicthyes, which means mammal-fish. At that point, why not just call mermaids amphibians? Why make up a fake latin hybrid name?)
But what bugs me most of all is the classification of the Minotaur as its own order of mammal when in mythology it is explicitly described as a hybrid of two known species (made possible only by the cruel machinations of the divine, but still)
To use actual taxonomical nomenclature, the minotaur's species would be B. taurus × H. sapiens (specifically B. taurus♂ × H. sapiens♀; there are, to my knowledge, no legends of H. sapiens♂ × B. taurus♀). That's how ligers, tigons, mules, zorses, pizzly bears, narlugas, etc., are described.
If I had written this book, I would have leaned more into evolutionary biology. Most land animals have four limbs because they all evolved from boney lobe-finned fish, which split off from the boneless sharks and rays millions of years earlier, so any six-limbed vertebrates would need to be descended from a fictitious category of six-finned fish which would either be an offshoot of boney fish/tetrapods (I guess they'd be hexapods, though that term refers to insect arthropods), OR a precursor to boney and cartilaginous fish that both clades split away from much earlier (it's easier to lose structures than to gain them, so it makes more sense for a six-limbed ancestor to spawn four-limbed descendants than the other way around).
Think about how different elephants are from humans, and humans are from aligators, and aligators are from penguins, and remember that they all evolved from the same ancestor tiktaalik, an amphibious fish that existed some 375 million years ago. Imagine a precursor six-limbed species and how diverse all its descendants would look after 400 million years. Save for the occasional instance of convergent evolution causing two unrelated species to independently evolve similar body plans to fill the same niche, tetrapods and hexapods would look nothing alike. There would be very little recognizable overlap between the two. A six-limbed "pegasus" would not look like a real world horse, and a six-limbed "dragon" would not look reptilian/dinosaur-ish, for much the same reason that giraffes don't look like frogs; they're just too distantly related. Bonless sharks and boney fish and whales/dolphins all have similar looking bodyplans only because their environment requires the same hydrodynamic shape, while terrstrial vertebrates are much more physically diverse.
#biology#anatomy#monsters#cryptids#cryptozoology#book of monsters#evolution#evolutionary biology#evolutionary history#taxonomy#cladistics#science#hard fantasy#hard science fiction#hard science#tetrapod#hexapod
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It's a bit of a funny and sad mix, how much of a Lohrak around Dume's neck the Vahki are. Certainly Dume is meant to be flawed as a Turaga, a somewhat suspicious character and cranky old man who think Matoran these days need to learn to respect their elders, but ultimately he's a good guy who'd give his life for the cause while spitting in the face of whatever killed him (see him telling Vezok, Avak and Reidak to go do something anatomically improbable when they try to extort him with a Kanohi Dragon). And given how important Metru Nui is, and how dangerous the outside world was, yeah Metru Nui does need some sort of standing army/police force to ensure that shit like the Barraki rebellion or the Matoran Civil War doesn't threaten to kill Mata Nui and doom the MU to drift endlessly through space, but holy shit the Vahki are so insanely bad at it, it's hard to think he'd sign off on it.
As an army they're pretty okay, they're very mobile with two modes of walking and one flight mode, their equipment is also extremely good offensively (mind control, seeing through your targets eyes, you hurt yourself in your confusion, etc), as well as a Kanoka disc launcher for more direct combat, and they're smart enough to think tactically, all without risking any Matoran/Toa/Turaga in combat (and that's without getting into the elite versions). But for Police work... well, they're okay for a Police State where you don't have to give a shit about what your citizenry thinks, their borderline psychotic nature means they're very effective at terrorizing a population into compliance even before bringing in the Brain Hacking they can do, and they are supposed to be the Police for Makuta!Dume's Police State...
They just also happened to be the Police for Regular!Dume's (Police(?)) State, which is a really bad look for someone who's supposed to be Not Actually A Villain. Based on what we see of them, the Kralhi that preceded the Vahki were probably much better at police duties (given that after being driven out of the city by Matoran who tried to "shut them down" they were totally willing to aid and protect Mavrah without issue they clearly don't share the Vahki's abusive nature) without having to take a number of Matoran away from work to do the police work instead (and thus potentially imperil Mata Nui and the MU as a whole by having them not do the necessary work in his brain). If the issue with them was that they left Matoran too weak to do their job after being policed, then maybe all the Kralhi needed was an equipment overhaul rather than being completely scrapped?
I don't know, Dume is meant to be Flawed but Good, but historically he's just made such a baffling decision with the Metru Nui's police forces, spurred on largely I think by Out-Of-Universe needs than because it made sense in-universe, he kind of ended up accidentally being the BIONICLE equivalent of Sentinel Prime, but because it mostly happened off screen it's easy enough for the story to sweep that under the rug. A lore hungry fandom on the other hand is not so easy to shake and I'm left trying to come up with a reason why he'd agree to the Vahki beyond the incredibly unsatisfying "he doesn't really care about the Matoran" or "he didn't think it through" and variants thereof answers.
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Taking your form out of your mind and shoving it into your body is a Thing you can Do to alleviate/banish species dysphoria
Hey fellow otherkins...do you know you can technically be 'physically' your true form in the physical plane as well? I don't know what the name for it is but you can take stuff from your brain and sorta...noclip it into physical reality by filling up your body with it. Then the essence of the creature flows through your physical body and therefore you're physically that creature. No, not giving yourself delusions, anatomically you will still be a person, you'll just be filling up all the empty void in the body you don't identify with, with your form. Kind of like growing out into a sock puppet and filling it out. Your human body is the sock puppet but the person piloting it is your true form, which will also exist in the physical plane.
If anyone knows what this is called let me know, I've been doing this by myself and once I got the hang of it it really gets rid of species/otherkin dysphoria. This is by someone who sees the physical body as a tool to interact so...I don't think this will work for people who still have assigned meaning on their physical bodies. Also for people who have a static and non fluid view on how they exist, as a being, in a realm/realms, for example the socially accepted way of existing which is in 1 plane, physical, the 'real world'. It will be harder if you are like this, but for those with more fluid...existence identities...it will be easier.
Yeah I just see a lot of posts about species dysphoria and just letting you know you don't have to live life being trapped in a human body. You can be your form in physical world too with some work. I might not be making sense here but if you want to know more dm me, I'll try to explain it better.
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In your theory about the Spring Bonnie suit possession, did Afton ever get used to it? Like after going through the pain long enough he was kinda numb to it? Also what are the situations in those thousands of times that he would have died and had to pull himself back together? Like if he got too tired and couldn't hold it much longer?
Very curious about this theory and it's also HORRIFYING
Although he's spent a really long time stuck inside the safe room, I don't think he has ever gotten used to the pain. I guess it only contributed to his hatred of the children. He took advantage of it, overpowering his own suffering with feelings of anger and resentment.
Spending 3 decades undead is one thing, but spending 3 decades undead and locked away from the world is another. In a sense, time stopped for him. If time stops, nothing changes, and so does his mind. There is not "enough room" for him to process any of those negative thoughts.
In regards to the multiple deaths situation, there's a way to exemplify it:
Imagine an anatomical heart. The resting heart rate for adults ranges from 60 to 100 beats per minute.
Now, imagine that the diastole (when the heart muscle relaxes) is a cell falling apart, and the systole (when the heart muscle contracts) is the cell being forced back together. Now, imagine a REALLY quick heartbeat. It's so fast that you could hear a quiet whirring sound, like a machine. Those are the cells, breaking and rearranging themselves over and over again.
You can't exactly get tired/notice time passing if you lack a reminder of the world moving on (e.g., scrolling on TikTok). Once Springtrap was freed, all the hate he'd accumulated spread over. Time was "unpaused". He left the loop and was allowed to move on, meaning he could eventually get tired.
Getting tired meant allowing himself to permanently stay dead, which he took a long time to do. At some point, he must've leaned against a wall in silence, in the same position he was found at Fazbear's Fright, and waited for the already deteriorated cells to succumb. I think that's how he died.
#tw: body horror#tw: death#tw: mentions of death#cw: death#cw: body horror#cw: mentions of death#starbstalks#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#springtrap
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I LITERALLY ONLY FINISHED EP 1 OF TLOU BEFORE WRITING THIS 😭 this man just has me going fucking insane rn i had to word vomit. spent my whole day on this bc im delulu
warning: homophobia and transphobia, trans fetishization, degradation/humiliation, slurs, vaginal sex, rough oral sex, NASTY daddy kink (like… borderline incest rp and ddlb maybe idk i just work here), hanky code, spit kink, breeding kink, gags, drug dealing (weed and opioids), reader is a sex worker/weed dealer with clit piercings
anatomical terms: cunt/pussy/kitty, clit/(t-)dick
It started as a drug deal. A bad habit picked up after top surgery. A rumor that this guy sold opioids. A wink and a nod of the head from across the plaza during a hanging. A few hankies tucked in your jeans, two shades of blue on the right, light green and a flag on the left. You were never sure if he knew what they meant. You’d never had the chance to ask. Until today, you happened to have a favor to ask him.
“Look, you know I’m usually reliable, right? If you could just gimme more time, I promise I’ll get you an ounce on Monday, on me.” That was a pretty decent offer. You usually gave him a quarter of bud every trade, so an ounce for the same price was surely nothing to sneeze at.
“If you’re not ready today, you ain’t gettin’ shit today. Sorry, kid.” Fuck. Ah, well. At least he wasn’t mad at you. Plus, he always called you ‘kid’. It made sense, since he was definitely old enough to be your dad. Maybe he had a soft spot for you. And he certainly met the diagnostic criteria for DILF, but goddamnit, your gaydar couldn’t get a reading on him. You figured the best way to find out for sure would be to offer up your other goods and services and see if he takes the bait.
“Well, uh… maybe there’s…” You took a step closer to him, putting all your weight into your hips hoping they’d jump out at him, “…something else I can offer you?”
They didn’t. His stare never shifted from your face. “Like what?” Joel asked unclockably.
You took the tips of your hankies between your fingers and held them out to him, spreading your wings, a display for attracting mates not unlike that of a peacock. “You know what these mean?” You asked with a quirk in the brow and some devious faggotry in your voice.
Joel crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall, a cocky, almost sort of try me type stance. “What do they mean?”
You named your hankies, one-by-one. Green, “This one means I’m a sex worker,” Trans, “This one means I have a pussy,” Navy, “This one means I get fucked,” and Cyan, “This one means I suck co-“
“I’m sorry, that one means what?” Joel interrupted, and pointed at your trans flag. He wasn’t just gonna let you gloss over that, just as you’d hoped.
“Oh, this one?” You pinched the tail of the trans flag and let the rest fall to your sides. A cheeky, cherubic, chaotic smile on your face as you taunted him. “It means I have a pussy. I’m trans.”
Joel’s face contorted in a few spasms of different emotions. A blink of shock, a blip of disgust, a second of intrigue, ‘til he landed on confusion. “So, uh…” His eyes crawled downwards to your crotch, then back up to you. “…how’s that work?”
Sure, you could give him the polite conversation explanation of the transmasculine identity, gender dysphoria and its treatments. Or, you could give the simplest and sexiest possible definition that would appeal to Schrödinger’s Straight Man over here. “Was born a girl, cut my tits off, shot up testosterone, and now I’m a man, but I kept my cunt.”
“Fuckin’ Christ…” He grunted, then cleared his throat, trying his damndest to remain calm and bloodbend his newfound erection away. Today was the wrong day for the light wash jeans. His growing bulge was the visual feedback of your influence on him.
A by-the-book boypussy sales pitch. Testing well with the focus group. You took another step with a sway of the hips, encroaching on his personal space but not penetrating it just yet. “Well? Whaddaya think?”
Joel bit his lip and said nothing for a moment. It seemed he was taking his time to figure out what exactly he did think about your revelation. “…Just 2 pills?”
“Just 2 pills…” You nodded, “Just enough to last me the weekend…” and took another step closer, then one more, until you could reach out and rub his bicep. “I’ll bump you up to an ounce, get it to you on Monday…” Your curious fingers started to trail down his arms and over to his delightfully soft dad-bod tummy. “And I’ll show you a good time today… Show you something you’ve never seen before…”
To say you were coming on pretty strong would be a massive understatement. And, hell, touching him? You were coming on like you had a death wish. Your hand slid downward, down to the heat he was packing in his pants, and stroking his rifle in your game of tactile Russian Roulette.
You loaded the chamber…
“All for just two little pills. So?”
Spun the barrel…
“What do you say?”
And pulled the trigger.
“Please, Daddy?”
And with those two whorish words, he snapped. Joel grabbed you by the wrist and slammed you into the brick wall behind him. You gasped in shock and winced in pain. It happened so fast, you barely had any time to think about the mistake you’d just made, but before you could choke out an I’m sorry, his lips were on yours. You moaned into the kiss and he snarled into it, slobbering all over each other in a fit of lust.
“Bratty little fuckin’ queer. So you’re saying you have a cunt, huh, boy? No bullshit?” Joel sneered as he shoved his hand between your legs. He grabbed your crotch and squeezed it tight, delighted to find no bulge, nothing in his way but a few layers of clothing. “Ooh, damn, kiddo, guess you’re right. Ain’t you fuckin’ special…” He let your wrist fall so he could grab your jaw. “Open,” he commanded, and your lips obliged. He spat into your open mouth, and then his lips were back on you.
Your hands scrambled for purchase on his back, eventually clutching his hair and his shirt for lifelines. The second you’d laid eyes on this guy, you knew he’d be a good fuck, and you couldn’t believe your luck. That monumental gamble you took just now had won you the jackpot, and now it was time to bask in your victory.
Joel grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked you out of the kiss. “You want your fuckin’ pills, cuntboy?”
“Yeees…” That was why you originally came to him, yes, but now you wanted a whole lot more.
“You want those fuckin’ pills?”
“Yeees, yes, I wan-em…”
“Say please.”
“Pleeease…”
“Please, what?”
“Pleeease, Daddyyy… P-Please, Daddy, I wan- I wan’ the pills…”
“You gonna suck your Daddy’s cock for ‘em?”
“Y-Yeees, Daddyyy…”
“So do it.”
Joel dropped you and let you stumble onto your knees in front of him. You rocked back and forth impatiently as he undid his belt and fished his cock out of his jeans. As you suspected, it was massive, flushed an angry shade of red, and throbbing painfully. He gave it a tantalizing stroke, peeling back the foreskin and pulling it taut on the rebound. You licked your lips at the precum leaking from its slit, waiting for his instruction.
“Open,” He demanded once more. You acquiesced, opening your mouth wide enough for him to stuff his cock in your throat. He let out a deep, husky, growl as he slid down your airway. “Yeahhh, that’s it… That’s it, kiddo…”
Even in your dickdrunk, cockgagged haze, you could guess what was coming next. In preparation, you braced yourself with your hands on his hips, and relaxed your throat as best you could for him to fuck it. Turns out, your intuition was right.
“Fuck, yeah, fuckin’… Fuckin’ choke on it, whore… Choke on Daddy’s cock.” He grunted, grabbed your hair, and held you still while he thrusted into your mouth unforgivably. Tears, snot, and drool were running down your face in no time, and Joel was loving it. “Aw, look at that, yeah, good boy…”
You whined reflexively at the praise, accidentally sucking some spit into your windpipe and choking you in a less sexy and more dangerous manner than intended. Your eyes bulged open and you slapped his thigh twice, tapping out. Thankfully, he got the hint and let you go.
You coughed up the spit and smacked your own chest to clear your airway. “Sorry… Wrong pipe…”
“Take your time.” Joel replied, “Not try’na kill ya.”
Once you could regulate your breathing and you were sure you weren’t at risk of death by blowjob, you got back to work, at your own pace this time. You had the chance to explore him. Stroking and squeezing his shaft and his sack, fluttering your tongue underneath his tip, licking long stripes from the balls to the head. Less force, but no less intensity.
“Ngh, little faggot sure knows his way around a cock, don’t he?” Joel snickered and ruffled your hair. “So good at this, I would’a never believed you don’t got one yourself.”
True, you may not have been blessed with a cock attached to you, but you’d gotten plenty inside you. Not exactly your hometown, but familiar terrain nonetheless. When you felt like you could, you swallowed his length whole, swiping your tongue along his balls as you gagged. Joel threw his head back and moaned into the air, and then, you rode him with your throat again.
“Fu-u-uck, oh, shit, yeah… Yeah, you suck Daddy’s cock… Suck your old man’s cock for pills, and you’ll get ‘em, son... You’ll get ‘em, you fuckin’ junkie.”
You’d honestly forgotten this was about pills. You just got so caught up in the love of the sport, it had totally slipped your mind. Though dangling the carrot of oxies in front of your spit-drenched face was as good an incentive as any, and despite the burning in your windpipe, you sucked him with more power, more speed, more emotion, and more determination. You could taste victory leaking and throbbing on your tongue.
“F-Fuck… I-… I can’t…” Joel’s face was a picture of overwhelming pleasure. He had to pull you off. His wet, pulsating cock popped out of your mouth, and he huffed and puffed wiping sweat from his brow. “As much as I’d like to dump a load in your stomach…” He nudged his boot in between your legs, right up against your burning cunt. “I need to see your specialty, first.” He extended a hand to help you off your knees, then when you stood, hugged you to him and spanked each of your ass cheeks, jiggling them both as he gave his next order. “Take off your pants and bend over. Let Daddy see that pretty kitty of yours.”
You giggled, a goofy, stupid slutty smile on your face, and nodded. “Hehehe, okay… Okay…” You unbuckled your pants and let your jeans drop to the dirt. You stepped out of them and kicked them aside. You turned 90 degrees, put your hands on the brick wall, and stuck your ass out to Joel. He took his place behind you, grabbed your ass, and spread you open to take a peek at your holes. You shivered as the cool breeze ran over your dripping cunt.
“Fuck, I can’t even remember the last time I saw a cunt like this…” Two of his fingers traced your slit then spread your lips, exposing yourself even more to him. He chuckled when he saw your dick piercing. “‘Specially not one with these fancy hood ornaments.” He couldn’t resist the urge to tug on the jewelry.
Naturally, your knees buckled beneath you and you slid down the wall. “A-Ah!” You squeaked, “F-Fuck! S-Sen-Sensitive!” You tried to warn him, but really you were showing off your weak point with the conspicuousness of a video game boss fight.
“Oh, yeah?” Joel scoffed and supplemented it with a smack on the ass. You could feel him kneel down behind you, and he said, “Good.”
And then his lips were on your t-dick and sucking it like a leech.
You had to scream, bad, but it was broad fucking daylight and FEDRA could show up at any second. Instead, you bit down on your hand, sinking all the energy into your teeth as your body collapsed in on itself. Before long, your cunt was dripping down into his mouth, so much so, that there was an audible splash when his lips let you go.
“Christ, you’re a mess. Gonna ruin my fuckin jeans, ‘f I don’t take ‘em off.” Joel stood up and out of his own pants then tossed them beside yours. You heard some more rustling of clothing, felt a swipe up your pussy, then a tap on your lips with wet fingertips. “Open,” he instructed yet again.
You opened your mouth to lick and suck at his fingers, or so you thought. Instead, they pulled away and gagged you with one of your own hankies. Judging purely by the texture, you deduced that it was the trans flag. You relaxed and let him tie the gag more comfortably.
“There.” Joel said, patting you on the ass affirmatively. “Now I don’t gotta worry ‘bout you bein’ a fuckin’ screamer.” Two strong hands took your hips and lined him up with his target. You could feel his head prodding, but not breaching your hole. “Ready?”
You bit down on the gag and nodded feverishly at him. He poked your hole once, then twice, then started to push in and ohmyfuckinggodhe’shugeimeanyouknewthatalreadybutfuckitfeelsbetterthanyouthoughtitwould.
Without the ability to articulate any of those words, you whimpered through the gag and clawed at the wall like a cat trying to get in the bathroom.
“Biiig stretch, kiddo, that’s it…” Joel groaned, “That’s a good boy… Daddy’s almost in…”
Almost in? What the fuck did he mean by-ohshitthatswhatthefuckhemeantbyalmostin… He was so fucking thick that the stretch nearly burned, and long enough to feel like he was excavating your pussy to make room for himself. It was mind-numbing how big he was. He took up not only all the space in your cunt but in your brain as well. You’d never had someone dig so fucking deep.
“There you go, nice and full.” He leaned down to kiss your neck and pin your wrists together above your head. “Daddy’s perfect little cocksleeve…”
He withdrew his hips, practically taking your cunt with him on the way out since it refused to let go, and then speared his cock back into you. His thrust was a shockwave that rocked through your whole body. You let out a garbled moan into the spit-drenched fabric each time he did it. Eventually, he had a steady tempo going.
“Nghhh, so fucking tight… Real fuckin’ tight for a whore. And you’re fuckin’ soaked…” He gave your ass another swat, then stopped moving for a moment. “C’mon, slut, fuck yourself back on your Daddy’s dick. Ride your Daddy’s dick, now-yeahhh, that’s it…” He purred as you started to bounce your ass on him. For a little extra encouragement, he reached out to pet your hair. And for some guidance and a little extra oomph, he slammed his hips forward in time with yours, making his cock hit you twice as hard. “That’s a good boy…”
It was unbelievable, almost intolerable how good he felt. You almost couldn’t bear the thought of fucking any of your regular clients ever again. This was a Flowers for Algernon-type dicking, the absolute pinnacle of nasty sex for just a little while, and you’ll spend the rest of your sex life downhill from here. You’d like to hope that wouldn’t be the case, but none of the other dick you’d gotten in the past could even compare.
And it all stemmed from asking for a front on some oxies.
Joel reminded you of that when he said, “Next time you’re needing a front, I’ll-ngh… I’ll make you work for it, whore… Take you home and fuck you in the ass instead… Let you scream as loud as you need to… Let that little pussy weep for me and it’s gettin’ nothin’… You want some painkillers, then you gon’ hurt for ‘em, son…”
Honestly, the idea of a ‘next time’ had you excited regardless of what hole he wanted to bust open. If you were lucky, maybe it’d be out of mutual enjoyment rather than an exchange. Soon, he struck that special spot inside you, that inner button that has you seeing stars and screaming obscenities into the flag gag. Your hands balled into fists and pounded at the wall. It was getting to be too much to bear. Of course, with your flag in the way, your cries of Fuck! Fuck! I’m gonna come! sounded as, “Auck! Auck! Ah gah-ah cah!”
Luckily, Joel spoke fluent slut. “You’re gonna cum? Gonna cum for your daddy?” He knotted his fingers in your hair and yanked you up against his chest. He shoved you both forward until you hit brick, and without an inch of space for you to squirm, he rutted into you relentlessly. “Then do it, slut. Cum on your daddy’s cock. Daddy wants to feel his little man cum all over him.”
God, how could a sentence be so nurturing and so nasty at the same time? So sweet and yet so fucking sick? Regardless of Sigmund Freud screaming ‘I told you so’ somewhere in your head, you came buckets, splashing Joel’s thighs with pussy juice on his every thrust. Your legs gave out around the fourth or fifth gush, and Joel had to hold you up for him to finish.
“Fuck, yeah, keep coming, keep coming, baby, Daddy’s close…” Joel groaned. Every word he said grew more vile and more primal than the last. His only need was to breed. “Daddy’s gonna knock you up, son… Gonna dump some brothers and sisters into ya… ‘N’ you’re gonna fuckin’ take it… Ngh, gonna take my fuckin’ load in ya ‘cause you’re a little cumdump pussyboy whore… ‘S what you’re meant for-shit… Shit!”
He squeezed your body tight and growled into your ear. Hot spurts of his cum flooded your battered cunt. On any other occasion, you’d cringe at some rando calling his load your siblings, but it just felt so good. You couldn’t give less of a fuck what he called it. And it’s not like he was your actual father. He was committing to the bit, a bit that had you mewing and sobbing with pleasure and repressed emotion, but that was a problem for your therapist later.
The world went still as you both came down from orbit. The rest of the QZ didn’t exist in that moment. It was just you and your “daddy”, a man twice your age that you trade drugs with and who just busted a nut in you. Honestly, still a better father figure than most. Closest thing to a dad you had for damn sure.
You felt that paternal vibe from him as he kissed the side of your neck. “You okay, little guy?” Joel asked tenderly. He untied the gag and tossed the flag by your jeans, letting you answer him.
“Mm… Mhm… I’m okay…” You stuttered, still counting on his grip to keep you standing.
“Good boy.” A few quick pecks to your neck and he slipped out, a few drops of his kids pooling in the dirt below you. “Now get dressed. I got shit to do.” He demanded with a final slap on your ass.
You stumbled over to your pants, leaning onto the wall to guide yourself. Even after dressing himself, Joel got to them first, and held them out for you to step into.
“Yeah, there you go, kid. You’re okay.” He cooed, and then clapped you on the shoulders to get your attention. Your head snapped up to see him reach into his pocket and pull out a plastic bag wrapped in tinfoil. He fished out two white pills and gave them to you, just as you agreed to.
“Thanks. I really appreciate it,” You gave him a shy smile, feeling grateful for the front and the frenzied faux-father-son fucking he just bestowed upon you. “Oh, and, uh… I… I had a good time, s-so if you ever wanna-“
“I’ll see you Monday, kid.”
#i am UNWELL#the last of us#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#the last of us x reader#the last of us smut#tlou x reader#tlou smut#what the FUCK do i tag this#dd/lb#daddy k!nk#slurs
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Do you think we could get 2 "you were never supposed to see this" with either Bad Boys or Jimmy and Joel?
Joel grumbled as he placed fended off another creeper, hastily putting down another torch down as if the low light would do anything in the massive cave they had found themselves in. He turned to a squealing Jimmy as the other took down a skeleton (there was several arrows lodged in his shield), "Where on earth did he go? Jim, you sure you saw him go this way?"
Jimmy quickly closed the space between, keeping his head on a swivel and his shield up as more mobs came out of the shadows. "Yeah! I'm telling you he came running down here. I mean, he told me not to follow, but given what's been going on I didn't want to leave a Bad Boy alone."
"Yeah, he's been antsy lately, it's been freaky," Joel agreed, knocking out a zombie.
Unfortunately, that zombie had called for reinforcements; and, with the several creepers and skeletons making ranged attacks, they had gotten themselves into a sticky situation.
"Not good- Not good!" Jimmy yelped as he stabbed at a zombie with a golden chestplate. With his shield down for just a moment a skeleton was able to lodge an arrow into his shoulder. He took a startled step back to lift his shield again, blocking the second arrow and swing of the zombie's sword, and then creeper went off next to him, sending him sprawling onto the ground.
"Jimmy!" Joel screeched as he turned away from his own fight to try and pushed the offending mobs off of his friend.
They were surrounding them. Joel doesn't think he could keep off the brunt of them off before Jimmy could recover enough to get back up. They were in trouble. They had so little time already, to lose more to a blooming mob of mobs didn't seem right.
Then, something shifted, a whole side of a cave column seemed to come loose. Joel could only see the shape in the darkness, it leaning forward and he anticipated the sound of the crash (even if he'd never seen stone collaspe like this, not something as big as that so suddenly), but instead of crashing the whole shape straightened out.
His blood ran cold as something enourmous stood over them, nearly nine blocks tall, then crouching down like a predator ready to pounce. This wasn't anything he had seen before. This wasn't anything he could fight.
It reached forward and he flinched away, covering himself and Jimmy with his shield. He could here Jimmy gasp underneath him, the clambering of his sword as he either dropped it or struggled to bring it up off the stone.
There was burst of wind over them, the creature swiping it's great arm over the area. Joel held his breath, waiting for the next swipe to actually hit them this time.
"Oh, guys-" The creature spoke. His breath caught in his throat. That was Grian's voice. "Guys, I'm not going to hurt you."
Joel slowly lowered his shield. For the first time he noticed the sudden lack of mob noises and he looked to the right, noticing the rather large pile of drops and XP. All the monsters were dead.
He swallowed and slipped the sword into his inventory for a moment to place a torch down in front of them. Immediately light was shed across the creature. For a second it was unrecognizable, big purple wings sprouting every which way, several on their back and face and even one on each arm- which did not seem very anatomically possible, but neither did the size of this thing -and bright glowing eyes and feathers covering half their face.
Then the actual facial features registered, the eye shape and nose and familar furrow of their brows. "Grian?" Joel asked, blinking rapidly, like it would dislodge the image of his friend off this creature; or at least make it make more sense.
"Grian!?" Jimmy repeated, albiet louder, pushing himself fulling up to look around Joel, "Grian! Dude! What happened to you?"
Grian gulped, slowly bringing himself down to sit criss-cross, not that it helped much with the height thing, "You were never supposed to see this."
""-Never supposed to see this"? "-Never supposed to see this"? Grian, you're a blooming giant! How on earth did this happen? How were we not supposed to see this?" Joel asked, waving his hand around to gesture at the whole of Grian.
"I was hoping I could get a handle on it before you saw," Grian replied, mostly under his breath, and pouting slightly, "I told Tim not to follow me."
"He didn't follow you. I came looking and he followed me. Completely different," Joel answered, crossing his arms.
"Yeah! Completely different," Jimmy shouted, also crossing his arms, "Now explain mister! I think as your team mates we deserve an answer for.. this!"
"I-" Grian started and stopped, growling lowly for a second. That something that Joel usually found funny when it was coming from someone the same size as him, but now it vibrated through him, like thunder overhead, "I shouldn't have to tell you anything... but fine. Just- Later. I'll explain later."
Joel wanted to argue, but when Grian set his mind to something there was nothing to do to change it. "Fine-"
"What?" Jimmy squeaked, turning to Joel, "We're just gonna accept this?"
"Yep," Joel popped the 'p', putting his shield away as well.
He walked up to Grian, whose eyes widened and tried to lean away. "Joel, what are you doing?"
Joel didn't answer and instead found the lowest point on Grian, with his legs crossed that ended up being his ankles, and started to climb.
"Joel?!" Grian repeated, hands hovering over him. Joel paused at the sight of them, Grian usually had little hands, but now they were big enough to wrap around his entire torso. He didn't though, didn't even bring a finger down to poke or push him off. Joel smirked and climbed up his knee.
Jimmy seemed to catch on and was right on top of Grian right after, climbing up the other knee, grinning madly as Grian started whining profusely.
"Guys! Don't- Why?" He pleaded.
"Cause it's funny, in'it?" Joel answered, settling in on Grian's thigh, leaning against his chest. Jimmy did the same on the other side. "Not to mention, we spent so long searching for you, we're tired now."
"No-"
"Yeah, Grian, caving is hard. We need a nap," Jimmy added, hands behind his head as he closed his eyes.
"You two were are way too ready to be menaces about this," Grian grumbled, leaning back himself against the cave pillar behind him. "Almost wish I scared you off instead."
Joel hummed but didn't say anything in response. Grian sighed above them, and he could feel the movement all around him. He was sure the moment Grian gained the confidence to touch and grab them he'd be getting his revenge- if whatever this was wasn't handled before then. Either way he and Jimmy would regret it later.
For now, they'd take a nap, and waste away the rest of the day, probably in the safest place they'd be in for the rest of the season.
#I DID NOT MEAN TO WRITE THIS MUCH#the power of bad boys#life series#trafficblr#grian#joel smallishbeans#jimmy solidarity#bad boys#limited life#trafficblr g/t#mcyt g/t#life series fanfic#giant grian#tiny jimmy#tiny joel#rabbit writes
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