#in the DLC he can think in his head

[canonisdead]

A new day (Where I write Guardian)

Guardian pressed the buttons repeatedly but for some reason he couldn't contact the satellite station for help. The beeping was becoming annoying on his ears but it wasn't like he could turn off a 'no signal'.

He stumbles off his seat and winced as he got onto his legs, his muscles almost constantly hurt from the chair for some reason. "It's dark outside, I'll need to go get my night vision camera, it's in the storage ever since I was caught 'playing' with it."

He heads off for the areas of underground he usually goes only to go. "Smith had locked it from the control room, so I guess that's how I can unlock it."

"I should probably also get some syringes so I can get some custard samples and then get to the satellite station for help."

He walks out of the room, he knows the control room is on his right. He side glances at a pipe lying against a box. "It might come in hand." He shoves it into his hoodie, it made a weird looking lump but whatever.

"…I actually don't really remember how to open the door."

Guardian glances at the value and turns it mindlessly.

"Nothing happened. Maybe I should check the pipeline."

He walks where he vaguely remembers the system of pipelines and sees something missing. He takes the lone pipe out of his hoodie and puts it back in place. And begins turning the values without thinking much about it.

Satisfied when he sees that the pressure is at maximum. The control room door should open now. Though he wished things could be easier, it was exhausting doing so much work like that.

After some more turning of that value and tapping on the buttons on the wall in the control room, he could finally get his night vision camera.

"Alright, let's go."

He switches on the camera, good thing it had full batteries, and started to walk out of the storage when the lights suddenly went out. "What's wrong with the lights?"

A slightly sniffling noise was the only unhelpful response.

Something small with barely any fur walked in front of his only exit.

"What is that thing?"

As soon as he spoke, its ears poked up making Guardian freeze, he had no idea how it could know where he is.

Then it walked away in the other direction.

Guardian slowly comes out, glancing at the crates. "I should maybe hide behind these crates-"

A sharp pitch scream rings out and the small thing is running at him, he almost didn't move out of the way. It tripped over his hair and hit its head on the box. Instead of heavily hurting its skull, the box broke easily. But it had fallen over and now just screams and wiggles as it tries to get up.

That's when he saw it had no arms.

He shakes his head and hurries ahead the best he can without tripping on his own hair. Even when he eventually got to the ladder, he could still hear it screaming.

He pulls up all his hair as quick as he can, luckily the rock didn't catch any of it as it lifted back down again.

"Tinky is still around, so I probably should be careful."

He sticks the syringe into the first custard he finds, which is behind a tall tree.

"I lost signal so let's go check the last known location of Po."

By the bowl of custard, Po's flashlight flicking on and off revealed her swinging body. Her rolled up wide eyes, her expression frozen into a look of surprise.

Guardian silently looks away to stick another syringe into this bowl.

He shakes his head. "Let's hope I don't run into Tinky Winky at the lake."

Luckily he didn't see him and poked another needle inside a bowl.

"Time to check the cave." He found a bowl at the opening of the cave, he's lost count on how many times he's had to call the White Coats every time Laa-Laa escaped through the cave.

"Only one more at the house."

He pauses inches away from the custard, Tinky Winky quietly stared at him with his nose scrunched.

"Can you stay right there? I need to take a sample of that custard and I don't need you killing me Tinky." His fingers barely touched the pocket of his hoodie.

Tinky's black scleras glare at him, something heavily sparks in his left hand until it resembled a weapon of some kind. Guardian tensed up as it started to rain unexpectedly.

Great.

He smacks this new weapon of his into the custard causing it to heat up then explode all over. Guardian luckily ducked in time. Tinky grimaces as he realizes how sticky he is now.

He suddenly braced both hands on the ground, hissing under his breath. Even as the water soaked him, Guardian didn't move.

Tinky's back arched as he shrieked, either it was the time of night or his clothes were starting to tear.

Guardian blinked, oh no, yeah Tinky's height was increasing so yeah his clothes were ripping.

How does custard make him get taller, Tinky didn't need to be taller.

Another bloodcurdling shriek tore Guardian out of his thoughts.

Okay yeah.

"I need to run!"

He didn't know if he would survive this though. He decided to peek a bit behind him as he ran towards the Mountains.

"Oh heck no!"

Tinky was running after him on all dang fours!

He heard another electric sparking noises and his stomach tightened. It hit something…but nothing hurt.

He desperately climbs up to the mountain, hoping it would be too much for Tinky to follow, or that despite being a monster Tinky still will be too scared to leave the Main Land.

When Guardian stepped onto the snow, he realized Tinky must have attacked his hair, since some of it was gone. Well it still was long so it wasn't a big deal.

[valkyurii]

it’s funny how things have gone full circle with malenia. she was so hated when the game first came out, but then people grew to like her. then the dlc came out and now people hate her again lmao

[ohsweetflips]

on the one hand i love harping and moaning over missed opportunities for previous dragon age companion cameos bc sometimes bioware really whiffs it (i long for the world where merrill is the eluvian expert instead of morrigan) but. on the other hand. sometimes it’s like. why would that character show up. answer quickly. the answer can’t be that it’s because you like them. it feels very reminiscent of having to accept that our wardens will never make another appearance.

[obey-me-headquarters]

Impatience fills the air. Like a tiger ready to strike or a coiled band bending to break. The atmosphere hangs heavily between you, Cove, and Baxter.

It was a normal evening for the three of you, or as normal as your new relationship could be. An evening spent in and enjoying each other's cooking that started out playful slowly turned more and more heated as the night went on.

With the food eaten and the dishes being washed, the tension was palpable. Baxter is on washing duty, while Cove dries and you put the dishes away. Every touch as plants were passed lingered, and glances got more and more heated.

Finally, the band broke. Lunging forward, you grab Baxter by the collar and push him against the sink. He raises his eyebrows at the suddenness but melts into the kiss with a needy moan.

Cove sheepishly glances over his shoulder at the two of you, wet dish still in hand. His eagerness bleeding through, but his shyness halting him from making any sudden moves.

Your tongue slips into Baxter's willing mouth, welcomed with a needy moan. The both of you were nearly lost in your heated embrace. Tongues pressing against each other and hands desperately clenching clothing. Yet your mind couldn't help but wander to your other partner. A sidelong glance reveals Cove standing off to the side, wet dish in hand, his want so earnestly on display.

Well, that certainly wouldn't do.

Working on pure impulse, you grab onto Cove's shirt in a blind grab and pull him towards you. Breaking the kiss with Baxter, you swiftly direct your attention towards your sea formed haired lover. A startled squeak escapes his lips as you lean forward to press your lips against his.

Baxter observes you two through hooded eyes, slumped against the counter as he desperately tries to catch his breath.

"As fun as kissing in the kitchen is, do you mind if we take this a bit more comfortable?" Baxter asks.

You loathe to put an end to your sudden make-out session, but you could see the appeal of the suggestion. You didn't want one of the first times the three of you were intimate to be in a kitchen.

With a grumble, you lean away from Cove, who gives you a confused look.

"H-huh? We're- what?"

Obviously, he didn't hear what Baxter had suggestioned, to preoccupied with having your tongue down his throat. With a laugh, you pull Cove by the hand and grab Baxter's on your way, too.

It was a bit awkward trying to lead them both, but by Baxter's pleased snicker, you guess that the two of them made due. It wasn't long before the three of you arrived at your door, which you kicked out as you were out of hands to open it with.

"Um, I could have opened that for you." Cove states behind you.

Yet you pay him mind, quickly leading your two lovers towards the bed. Cove falls first onto it, and you halt Baxter with another kiss.

Grinning, he leans into it, and you push him into Cove's lap. Cove gratefully accepts his gift and wraps his lips around Baxter's neck while your own is still pressed against Baxter's. Trailing kisses up and down the shorter man's neck, Cove stops at his mole. Knowing that it's one of the most sensitive spots on his body, Cove ghosts his lips over the spot.

With a choked-off moan, Baxter gasps against your lips. An airly chuckle escapes your lips, and you ever so slightly lean away, just to enjoy the sight of Baxter squirming against Cove. The taller man was caging him in with his body, holding him against his chest as he teased the skin around Baxter's oh so sensitive mole. Baxter wasn't that short of a guy, but Cove was extremely tall, and he used every inch to his advantage as he held Baxter against him.

It was obviously doing something for Baxter, too, judging by the way he leaned back into the hold, as if he wanted to envelop fully. With a smirk, Baxter glances towards you, obviously wondering where you've gone, but not too disappointed with who you left him with.

Before he could say a no doubt sophisticated and playful remark, you leaned forward and captured his mouth in a kiss. Yet this kiss was less about getting acquainted with the inside of his mouth and more about exploration as your hands trail alongside his body.

Reaching his crotch your hands confidently pressed against it, earning your a groan from the monochromatic man, which you happily swallowed. Baxter was throughly overwhelmed sandwiched between you and Cove, a fact he was acutely aware of. When you leaned back to catch your breath, Baxter stammers out:

"Don't- don't you two want to enjoy each other's company a bit more?"

Grinning deviously at him, you very much did not. Content with overwhelming him with pleasure he never thought he would receive. Cove obviously had a similar thought as he reached around Baxter to undo his shirt buttons.

"No." He whispered bluntly into the shell of Baxter's ear, earning him a delicious shudder.

With a defeated sigh, Baxter relaxes into the hold. "Well, I wouldn't stop you two since you're so determined."

"Good, you couldn't if you tired." You reply with a grin before dropping to your knees.

Hastily, you grab onto Baxter's belt and loosen the buckle. Flinging it over your shoulder the moment it's loose enough you make quick work of the buttons and zipper, cursing yourself for not removing his clothing before sitting him down, but too impatient to stop now. With an annoyed grunt, you pull down his pants, not even bothering to remove them fully, and let them hang around his ankles.

Finally you see what you're been thinking about all night, Baxter's cock. Unfortunately, it's still clothed by his cute leaf boxers, but it's half hard and dripping, creating a wet patch. You knew that Baxter was needy, but you didn't know that a few kisses were all that was needed to get him this worked up.

Kissing the wet patch, Baxter bucks against you, almost hitting you in the face. Luckily you're able to lean back before he does.

"Sorry, th-that was rude of me. I just- hmp!" Baxter throws his head back with a moan as Cove sucks a hickey around his mole while his hands reach down to hold Baxter down.

"Don't worry, I'll keep him still for you." Cove states.

You know that Baxter isn't going anyway with Cove holding him down. His hard earned muscles he got from his summers of surfing being put to use as he holds Baxter tightly against him.

With a smirk you pull the leaf boxers down to his ankles, and enjoy the sight of Baxter's hard cock leaking against his stomach. Licking your lips you lean forward to give his slit a kiss, earning you a breathy groan.

Cove's hands wrap firmly around Baxter's thighs, spreading his legs for you and holding him in place.

"Good luck, you're going to need it." He says ominously into Baxter's ear.

"I- what?" Baxter asks confused, he's never been victim to your mouth on his cock before, unlike Cove who knew exactly what you're capable of.

Before he can get an answer, your lips wrap around his dick. You only take a moment to savor the taste of his precum and compare it to Cove's, before your tongue works its magic.

"Ugh! O-oh, my- hmp! Now wait just a- fuck!" Baxter throws his head back with a throaty groan. You're glad that Cove had the foresight to hold Baxter down, because the way he's thrashing right now would surely dislodge you from your spot. Fortunately, with his strong hold, Baxter remains held in place as you treat him to the otherworldly experience of your mouth.

No amount of squirming, thrashing, or withering could deter you, as Baxter quickly surmised, not that he stopped doing any of those things as you sucked. The moans and groans you pull out of him are entirely involuntary, as Baxter would prefer if you and Cove didn't hear such neediness from him so early into your relationship. But there was no helping it, and he quickly spilled a mix of "Please," "Oh god," and language you didn't think the normally sophisticated man would ever confess to knowing.

Cove decided that he wouldn't completely overwhelm the poor man, at least, not yet, and took a break from painting his neck with hickeys. Instead, he was content to watch Baxter lose all sense of composer against him.

"Fuck- please, oh God I can't!" Baxter moaned, and that was all the warning before he came into your mouth.

Normally, he was a lot more polite, warning about any spilling, but all sense of decency was clearly sucked out of him. You let yourself enjoy the unique taste of his spent before swallowing, mouth still wrapped around his dick. Baxter mewled softly at the sensation but was too worn to complain.

Leaning back you wipe all drool and uncaught cum from your chin with the back of the hand, and chuckled when you caught sight of Baxter.

You were getting used to seeing him more relaxed and messy, but you have yet to see just how far he could let himself go until now. He laid boneless in Cove's hold, the taller man's hold being the only thing keeping him unright. His eyes were glossed over and his pupils were so dilated that it made him look cat like. Mouth hanging slightly open, a few drops of drool spill down his chin.

Cove is no longer holding him so tightly, instead choosing a loser hold against his chest. Leaning down, he presses a kiss onto Baxter's forehead, and that seems to snap him out of his daze.

Looking down at you with hooded eyes accusatory, Baxter asks:

"Where in the world did you learn to do that with your tongue?"

[rivilu]

see i'm not even opposed to the concept of canon/trickster Ellu surviving but the thing is in order for it to happen there would need to be a second vulnerable conversation regarding his side of things. where he couldn't lie his way out of it either. So basically he's fucked

[dimehun]

Speaking of Arkhamverse im gonna yap on abt how bruce is so paranoid/afraid/ about someone he loves getting hurt because of him/being helpless to stop it he pushes them all away but that doesnt do anything but get them hurt anyway

And them getting hurt just feeds into the that fear and he blames himself -> pushes them away -> they still get hurt -> helpless to do anything the cycle goes on n on n on till it blows up (literally)

Kinda like you think the inevitable is all your relationships are taken from you out of ur control so you take control back by ending them all urself

Even more yapping in the tags that i should have just written here but its to late

[rowan-guerrins]

i love sebastian and i hate sebastian and i want to give him a maraca because i think it would be funny and ALSO i want to put him in a maraca and shake him around because i think that would be even funnier. i contain multitudes.

[hoshiros]

—✯ R U MINE?

AM Masterlist

cw. 18+ mdni. gen "just the tip" narumi, afab!reader. no condoms, lap sitting, dry humping, biting/marking, creampie, teasing, p→v sex, lots of swearing, attempts at humour lol...

NARUMI GEN has been ignoring you for six hours and thirty-four minutes.

In the time since you've arrived to his room, you've taken a nap, had some yakisoba, brushed your teeth, went on a nice doom scroll, and gotten back into bed.

And Gen... has barely looked in your direction, let alone spoken to you.

Had you known that buying him the DLC for his all-time favourite title would lead to you being abandoned, you would have gotten him something more practical—a new comforter, or multivitamins, or condoms, for goodness sake.

But here you are, dangling off the edge of his futon with blood rushing to your head. In your haziness, you can just make out his body filtering the light of his console. The soft sounds of the game fill the room, driving you to the brink of insanity.

"Gen," you whine quietly from the bed, watching him shuffle in his spot on the floor to crack his stiff back. "Come to bed."

"A couple more minutes," he huffs, turning around on his knees so you can see his chest. "Almost done."

Even with his promise, his attention never leaves the screen, the blue light cast onto his face making the circles under his eyes all the more evident. You pout, leering at his console, then him.

The noise that leaves you is indignant, irritation rising into your throat until it wills you to slip off the futon. Gen's eyes briefly flicker up to scrutinize you when you thud unceremoniously onto the floor, but then he pays you no mind while you shuffle over to him on your hands and knees.

"You're a jerk," you murmur, ducking under his arms to snake your way against his body. He grunts but lets you wiggle your way into his arms anyway, holding the console up high so you can't obstruct it.

"And you're clingy," he jabs back, though his words are devoid of malice.

He adjusts you carefully so that he can wrap his arms around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder to see his screen. Your arms wrap around his neck until you're snug against him, finally warm and comfortable in his lap.

Your satisfaction lasts about three minutes. Again, he's ignoring you even though you're cradled against him.

You resort to desperate measures.

It starts with an adjustment that makes his eyes narrow. At first, it's subtle—the slightest roll of your hips and the faintest of friction as you settle deeper into his lap.

Gen can't tell if it's on purpose, the way you're so perfectly grinding against his dick that's getting hard at an alarming rate for what could be no reason.

Then, it's clear as day what your intention is when you release your hug around his neck to favour raking your nails down his chest with a sultry look.

His hand flies from his joycon to your waist, lip wobbling to give away his weak conviction as he scolds you. "Quit that," he hisses quietly.

The pads of his fingers roughly squeeze at your flesh, trying to force your body into submissive immobility. Still, you double down, gently sinking into the divot of his lap and keening into him.

"I'm lonely," you say, words so breathless that he can hardly hear them over his game. He shivers, and the expression he gives you sends a lick of heat down your spine.

You can't decipher whether he wants to be stern or if he wants to beg for just one more delicious swirl of your hips—perhaps both, though the words seem stuck in his throat either way. You smile sweetly knowing how easy he is to have.

Despite everything, Gen loves the simplicity of being yours.

He doesn't need to think twice. In fact, he'd rather be mauled to pieces by a Kaiju than do anything but be yours. That's why he gives in so easily—setting down the console so fast that he doesn't even save his progress.

Gen barely gets halfway through his complaint, muttering about how you'll be the death of him, when your lips find the front of his throat. "Shit," he curses, both hands roaming up your sides. He stops at your ribs, giving you a look of disapproval.

"Play fair," he warns.

"I am playing fair," you argue, then proceed to nudge his jaw with your nose. He sucks in a sharp breath as you pepper kisses up his jaw to the space just below his ear, not missing even a centimetre of his skin.

Gritting his teeth, he does everything he can to not give in to you right away. It would be totally lame for him to fall for your little ploy.

"Gen... Gen," you chant his name softly between pants, kisses littered down his neck until you reach his Adam's apple. It bobs violently as you linger there, silently considering how you should torment him next.

His warm hands dip down to where your thighs meld into your hips, unfurling the bottom of your shirt so he can feel the expanse of skin beneath the pads of his fingers.

Gen wastes no time tracing over your sides up to your chest. He's shameless in his grabbing and pinching, making sure to remember every inch of your body as if that would give him control of the situation back.

You draw in a slow breath, curling into his touch until he can feel the rise and fall of your chest against his. He reaches for the console, the screen dim now that he's been inactive.

"Need to save," he grumbles.

He feels the smooth plastic of his joycon for only a millisecond before his hand flies back to your hip. The reason? He's about to do something as humiliating as cum in his pants because of a little dry humping.

"Did you get it?" You ask breathlessly, feeling the hardness in his sweats pressed firmly against you. 

"Yup," he lies, rutting into you like a teenager who can't control himself. "Totally."

Gen is going to lose it, actually. He can feel every bit of self-control slipping. (Though, he's never been good at it in the first place.)

“I want you.”

Each word is interrupted by another press of your lips against his warm skin up to his tight jaw.

"Ran out of condoms, you know that. You try’na kill me?" Gen asks with a dry swallow, patience wearing thin as you kiss the corner of his lips.

“I want you,” you say once more into his mouth as if it were a spell being cast. “Need you. Please? Just a bit? You can pull out, baby.” You wiggle your hips side to side, gently coaxing him into giving you just an inch.

Fuck. How could he say no to that?

It's embarrassing how fast he frees his dick from the constraints of his pants and boxers, as if he were just waiting for you to ask politely. If you didn't look as riled up as he did, you probably would have called him out on it.

Thank god you're too busy panting into his mouth as he clumsily helps you out of your shorts to leave your bottom bare in his lap.

The tip of his dick kisses your hole and he groans, eyes glued to the way you wet him with so much slick. He runs his length up and down your folds, thumb pressed against the vein so nicely that the friction is electrifying.

Even so, he feels bad not making you cum at least once first. You watch in surprise as he spits into his palm and fists himself a few times, coating his member in the hopes that you'll take him easier.

The noise you make when he first pushes the head past your entrance is addicting.

You curse in sync, soft whimpers matching as he sinks shallowly into you. Gen tries to speak but words fail him, so he opts to nip at your throat instead—a silent apology for not helping you cum first.

It takes a minute for you to adjust to the stretch. He leaves a trail of gentle kisses up and down the side of your neck, relishing in the tiny gasps and moans that escape you in the process.

You give his hips one firm squeeze with your thighs to tell him you're ready to move, and—

"Oh, shit," he moans, your walls squeezing him when you sink down and ride back up like you have dozens of times before. It never gets old.

He wants to move his hips, too. He wants to fuck you until you're a puddle in his lap. Then he gets the urge to cum humiliatingly early again and bites the inside of his cheek to push the thought away.

If he didn't know any better, he would think that unsatisfied look twisting in your face was nothing. However, he knows you have even less self-control than he does.

And what do you know? Gen chokes on his spit when you sink down noticeably further.

“Hah…” He laughs humourlessly, breath ghosting in your ear. “You fuckin’ asshole.”

“I slipped,” you argue weakly, dragging your hips upward until his aching tip is just about to spill out of you. Then you glide back down, and the way your pussy swallows up the extra length once again nearly makes him cry out.

“You said just the tip,” Gen warns, but the way he buries himself yet another inch deeper says it all.

“I’m not the only one who needs that reminder,” you tease, jaw falling slack as he shallowly humps into you. 

The way he fucks you is sloppy, hips rolling into yours with no real rhythm. Heat boils in his stomach, and by the time the fog clears from his heady mind, he realizes far too late that he's filled you with another inch.

Gen chokes again, groaning into your skin while he sinks his fangs into your shoulder. It's so good—too good, he can't fucking help himself.

"You're so annoying, y'know that?" He mutters. You whine high and needy in response, hands wandering up his shoulders to wrap around his neck and tangle in his hair.

Screw words. He'll just tell you the only other way he knows how. Screw you and the temptation he can never resist. Screw just fucking you a little bit.

Gen loves doing things halfway, but never this. Never you.

He nudges his way up to your ear, nipping gently at the lobe. "You're in for it now."

And suddenly his hand is trailing down your stomach and between your thighs. You sputter when the pad of his thumb squeezes against your clit.

"Gen?" You squeak in surprise. He kisses his way to your cheek, lips lingering there for a moment before his thumb starts circling around the sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Shut up," he murmurs, relishing in the way his deliberate movements draw breathy pants from your throat. Your walls squeeze him deliciously, nearly milking his poor, leaky cock.

Gen was always so mean to you—it's because he could never get tired of the soft sounds spilling from your swollen lips. There was no boss fight, no new console unboxing; nothing could ever feel as good as the way your walls hug him.

He finally rolls up into your warmth, pushing and filling you up until his hips are flush against yours. The wet smack is deafening. He's so fucked. There's no way he'll be coherent enough to pull out in time.

"Look what you did," he laughs, but it comes short. Groaning instead, he buries his face against you to kiss down the valley of your chest and back up to your shoulder where he stops to bite. "How 'm I supposed to pull out now?"

Painting a picture of flooding you with his cum until you're full and leaking makes his cock throb inside of you, earning him a pleased noise. You bounce with pathetic effort, hip stopped in place with one hand while the other works you undone between your thighs.

"Don't know what I'm gonna do with you."

"Just be quiet and cum inside of me, Gen," you huff, conviction finally thrown out the window in favour of having your cunt stuffed with his spend.

"Nuh-uh. You said to pull out. You'd kick my ass later."

"I won't—" you gasp, his dick abusing a soft, spongy spot that makes your eyes roll back. "I will not!"

"Nah. You asked for this."

You open your mouth to protest again, only for it to snap shut when he thrusts into you so roughly that your voice leaves you.

"Cat got your tongue?"

You glare at your boyfriend, though you look to be on the verge of tears. The sight makes him all the needier, chasing the high he knows is coming.

"Just kiddin', babe," he snickers. "I'll give you what you want."

And he does. He always does.

Gen finally releases your hip, allowing you to ride him properly. He matches your rhythm, the depth he reaches causing your knees to shake against the floor.

He fixates on the glistening ring of white at the base of his cock where your pussy swallows him up. It's too much. He loves this so much. He loves you so much.

There's only about ten things in the entire world that could make Gen put down a good game. Half of them are Kaiju related. The other half all have your name attached to them.

He gives you a look, knowing and sly as he rolls your clit gently between his fingers. That's all it takes for you to topple into his chest, shivering and squirming while you cum on his dick.

Gen only lasts another few rolls of his hips until he's spilling inside of you, shoving his face into the space between your shoulder and neck to hide his pathetic strain.

Your pulse races against his cheek. There's a sharpness in your breath as you catch it, body still trembling in his lap with every minute shift of his hips. 

His switch makes a noise to tell him his battery is low. Gen pulls away from the crook of your neck just enough to look at the blinking notification. He's just about to reach over to save when—

"More," you rasp into his ear.

His hand falters in the air, and the twitch of his cock is telling enough.

"I gotcha," he grunts, fist clenched tight as he draws it back to wrap around your back and pull you flush into his chest.

If his console dies, he has no qualms making up that six hours and thirty-four minutes of gameplay again. An easy price to pay as long as he gets to be yours.

[he-calls-me-kitten]

Sugar, Spice and a Tempting Vice

VA! MC x OM! Characters

"Hey Levi, any new game recommendations for me? I just finished the last lot of books Satan suggested." You asked, plopping down your head on his shoulder to look at his screen.

"M-MC! You have to warn me before you do such things!" He muttered, his ears turning red as he scrolled some webpages pages for you. "But okay yeah these are the new games that are out recently... see anything you like?"

"Oh my God! It's out it's out!" You pointed excitedly at the screen. "Pretty Little Things is out! Finally!! I was dying to tell you all about it!"

Levi visibly stiffened up. "You-you were waiting for this particular game to come out? Are you sure it's not another game with a similar sounding name?"

"Nah uh this is the exact same one. Look up the list of voice actors in this game!"

"WHAT?! MC WHY IS YOUR NAME IN HERE?????"

"Yes! This was the new part-time job I couldn't tell you about since it was still in production! Im so glad you can just play it now!"

"...it's uh ready for download on all platforms already...so which character did voice?"

"Oh spoiler alert, my character is the only one that doesn't have a name, you have assign me one, the same way you name yourself. They even designed the characters to resemble all the VA's and add in some of their personalities, isn't that sweet?"

"Hahaha y-yeah definitely sweet! I'll be sure to check it out soon!"

"Great! Lemme know what you think of the game okay?!" You squeezed him in a small hug before you left.

Later in the Demon Brothers only group chat:

Levi: Code Red! Code Red! ASHSKSHSKSKSJJSKKS

Mammon: WHAT WHAT THAT MEANS AN MC RELATED EMERGENCY RIGHT??

Asmo: OMG are they OKAY?? Should I go check up on them in their room!?!

Satan: I'm already on my way.

Mammon: NOT BEFORE ME YOU'RE NOT!

Belphie: Is MC hurt in anyway?

Beel: Did they pass out from hunger?! I can bring them emergency snacks right away

Lucifer: Can you lot not lose your minds everytime MC is mentioned? Pathetic. Levi, calm down and tell us what's wrong.

Beel: But Lucifer I just saw you hurrying up the stairs to MC's room too...

Satan: Typical Lucifer. By the way, MC is perfectly fine, happy even. Levi what are you on about?

Mammon: Yeah MC can't stop smiling! It's a good thing that happened, you idiot! Why would you scare us like that?

Asmo: Omg apparently MC voice acted in a new game! Levi I need you to download it for me ASAP please!

Beel: Me too, please.

Belphie: Me three.

Lucifer: I've already done it, you all can do it yourselves if you could do your own work for once.

Satan: Oh shut up, MC just did it for you right now as they did it for me.

Levi: It's a Dating Simulator. With multiple H-rated DLC endings. And MC is one of the dateables.

...

Levi: Hello?!! Did you guys not see my message?!

Levi: Seriously no reaction?! You guys aren't freaked out by this?!?

Beel: I just heard several doors opening and closing at once.

Asmo: Oh come Levi, I think you already know what our reaction is Levi ♥️ How can we possibly hold in our excitement after such a news!?

Levi: Are you all downloading the game together?!!! Y'all are hogging the bandwidth too much, my download speed has gone way down!!

Simeon: Hey

Simeon: I heard some demons in a cafe, raving about a game where MC plays one of the main characters?

Solomon: Indeed MC just sent us all a link right now.

Simeon: Oh is that so? I'll get Luke to help me download it after he's done with his.

Levi: Luke is playing it too?! I don't think it's appropriate given it's certain hidden endings!!

Barbatos: MC already made sure of it. He only has access to the sibling and friendship routes. It's a special version they added for all ages.

Diavolo: It already has downloads in the ten thousands. I'm really glad to see how MC is beloved by Devildom.

Levi: Are NONE of you affected by the fact that there are erotic routes with MC's VOICE?!!

Solomon: Oh I personally cannot wait hear my adorable apprentice's performance.

Barbatos: Ahem. I'd rather not comment on it.

Simeon: Same.

Diavolo: Same.

Levi: Sigh. We really are just a helpless lot at the mercy of MC.

To be continued...

[catiuskaa]

THIS ISN’T WHAT FRIENDS DO.

PAIRING! best friend!felix x reader

SUMMARY: you're friends- duh! best friends are close to each other, even if this could be... too close. still, no one can really blame you! that chocolate was far too good anyways.

REQUESTED! here by @lemon-va, who had a spicy kind of good idea, so, sorry it took so long, sweetness, but i hope u like it! <3

CW: convenient minsung strikes again. fluffy smut! mentions and use of aphrodisiac chocolate, use of petnames: princess, darling, pretty, oral sex (f & m rec.) + mentions of protected piv sex (as everyone should!), fluffy aftercare, and I think that's all!

WC: 3.1k

A/N! TYSM FOR THIS, COULD FINALLY FIND AN EXCUSE TO USE THEE DLC FELIX PIC, LMAO

[🔸☆🌆☆🔸]

He smells like home.

It’s the first time you find yourself reeling in the feeling of his hands, one around your waist, and how perfectly you fit cuddled against Felix’s chest, your eyes fixated on him as he focuses on the TV series you both were watching together.

You probably shouldn’t feel as giddy about it as you do. It’s definetely a more-than-friends action. And that’s not what Felix and you have.

He’s just your best friend.

He’s the type of friend that back hugs you, either if it’s because he wants a hug or because he ‘thought you looked like you needed one.’ The type of friend that has ultimately stopped using your name to talk to you, finding pet names under the rocks just to see you giggle. The type of friend that will always have a door or window open for you, having built a kind of trust that allows him to get closer and closer without any tuts, actions like tenderly wiping the excess of that brownie he gave you off the corner of your lip, tilting your chin with a soft touch of his fingers, then licking the chocolate off his thumb.

You can’t focus on the ways his eyes shine brighter, holding too many stars, having some of them pose as freckles on his skin. Can’t even start to listen to your friends or his flatmates when they start rambling about how his smile widens everytime you enter in a room, or how you’re the only one that has the power of making him pause his games, and even the online ones, which are impossible to pause, meaning he turns off league for you.

But, that just… no. You can’t allow yourself to hope so foolishly, right? It wouldn’t be fair. Not for you or him. Does that even make sense?

Before you spiral down to an unhealty amount of overthinking your feelings for him, he’s moving underneath you, his hands craddleing your face.

“You’re not paying attention, silly.” He teases with a cute grin, pausing the show. A thought flashes through your head, and you have to hold back to not wipe his smile off by planting your lips on his.

“Sorry,” you blush and smile sheepishly, but he brushes it off with another blinding smile of his, his eyes like crescent moons. “Feeling kind of sleepy,” you mumble softly.

He takes his phone from his back pocket, moving his hips with you still laying on him in a swift action that has you blushing even more. You mentally shake your head.

These thoughts needed to stop before your face reaches the the tomato-red level… meaning: now.

“It’s barely 6pm.” He’s just pointing it out, and then licking his lips, thinking about how to word what he wants to say. “You shouldn’t drive… It’s too dark. We can steal Seungmin’s pillow, cause he’s off at Hyunjin’s for tonight, and you can sleep in my room.”

Felix’s smile could make you do anything.

“Sure. That sounds nice.” You know you’re using the sleepyness to your advantage when you hide your head on the crook of his neck, moving and streching your body like a kitten, and you humm against his soft skin. “No need to steal Seungmin’s pillow. You’re my pillow now.”

And you both take it as a joke, but if he could just say that he wanted to, it would’ve never been a joke.

“C’mon, pretty.” He cutely ushers you off him, and starts heading to the kitchen, your footsteps following his, grabbing the almost-forgotten popcorn bowls, now empty.

He opens the fridge, grabbing water for the two of you as you leave the bowls in the sink. You sit on top of the counter with no thoughts behind, sipping the water calmly.

You never could’ve guessed that the silly little question that was going to come off of your lips would unexpectedly change the whole night.

A 180° spin, started by your sleepy voice pointing to a bowl with some kind of plastic paper over it.

“What’s that?” You asked softly.

Felix just shrugged, taking the bowl and quickly discarding the plastic.

“Looks like chocolate?” And he frowned, struggling to remember something. It felt important, and it kept itching the back of his mind. “I think that Minho and Han made it a bunch of hours ago.”

You smiled. “Then it must be good. Minho is one hell of a chef,” you laughed, and took a small piece from the several stack of round, coin-like bits.

Instinctively, Felix picked one too, taking a bite at the same time as you, and you both were surprised by its flavour.

“Shit, that’s better than I imagined,” you muttered, frowning at the chocolate piece in your hand, as if it could give you all the answers regarding its taste. “Didn’t expect it to be black chocolate.”

Felix snickered, picking another one. “You do look like a white chocolate enthusiast.”

You gasped, faking offense, a hand to your chest and the other in the bowl, picking another piece. “Excuse me?!” You couldn’t help but smile cheekily. “White chocolate isn’t even chocolate.”

Felix frowned in response, a goofy smile on his face. “Yes it is.” He pointed out, munching at his third or fourth piece. “That why it’s called white chocolate, baby.”

You shook your head vigorously, too invested in the silly discusion to process how that nickname made you feel. “But it doesn’t have actual chocolate on it! It’s just milk and sugar!” You argued as you munched on your sixth piece.

You were about to take another one, but his soft hand stopped you.

“Wait. How many did you take?” He shot a toothy grin at you.

You snorted.

“Shit.” You both said, sneakily smiling, almost like a pair of small children that got away with a lie.

Felix giggled with you, quickly putting back the plastic cover on the bowl and leaving it on its place. As if nothing had happen.

Little did you two know.

“I call dibs on showering first!” Felix cackled.

[🔸☆🌆☆🔸]

Different types of questions bursted in your mind. They should have been easy to answer.

Questions like why and how.

It wasn’t just something that could happen randomly. Not as intense as right now. Because your whole body was burning up like it had been lit up in fire, desperate for any kind of relief.

And so you just stood there, inside Felix’s shower, unable to get out and dress in some random pj’s he lend you because you were soaking wet.

Why were you this horny? No fucking idea.

How on Earth were you this horny? Still no fucking idea!

It could’ve been five or maybe ten minutes that you spent resting your back against the cold tiled wall in his shower, splashing cold water onto your red cheeks, hoping to cool off.

And you consider several options in that moment, only one seemingly effective: to run away, change your name and fly to Spain.

Because Felix had just knocked on the door.

“H-hey.” His tone of voice feels different. “Are you good in there?”

Felix, Felix, Felix.

You feel a pool of arousal forming in your lower belly.

You shake your head almost fiercely. What the fuck is happening? This is so weird. Could it be that you just fell asleep on Felix’s chest and this was all a really strange dream?

He knocks on the bathroom door again.

“D-darling?”

Fuck, shit, fuck.

“Yes?” You answer, a high-pitched tone that makes you cringe.

“I-I uh… I s-screwed up.”

His tone of voice feels weak and soft, almost traced with guilt.

You frown, taking the towel and surrounding your body with it, tucking it and making it stay on, like a robe.

Leaning closer to the door, you sigh softly. “What’s wrong, Lix?”

You could hear him breathing heavily behind the door. A merely two to five steps away.

“Can I… open the door?”

Your eyes widen at his words. And you know its not the most inteligent decision you could make right now, but you bite your lip and open the door.

“S-shit.” Felix mutters, his eyes glued to your body, his face and ears crimson red.

You force your eyes to look at his face, and not at the seemingly painful bulge on his pants.

“S-so…” he takes his hands to his forehead, and passes a hand through his hair. “The chocolate we had… that uh… Minho and Jisung made…”

You blink at him, trying to process his words when your dizzy and fuzzy brain is sending you other ideas.

“And I don’t know how much we actually had…” he’s stressed out, rubbing his eyes, grasping for any sort of remaining concentration that his body could have. "Normally one or two pieces could have a small effect, but still..."

“Wait. It can’t be…” you mumble, slowly arriving to a conclusion.

And then your eyes lock with his.

His pupils darken.

You wouldn’t know who got close first, but your feet step towards him like metal to a magnet.

It's only when his lips grace yours that you move apart and face down. You're flustered, you want to cry and this whole thing is a mess. But then felix gently grabs your chin. He lays his forehead on yours, before planting a loving kiss on it.

"We're gonna do something, ok?” He mutters gently, stroking your face, and your body threatens to melt under his touch. He goes inside his bathroom and picks two random scrunchies near the sink, tenderly taking your hand and settling one on your wrist. Your hands interlink, matching hairtie bands working like a highlight on this situation.

Your glazed eyes lock with his again.

"As long as this is on your wrist, there's no consequences." He takes your hand and kisses the back of it, making your body shiver. "And after this is over, we'll… go back." There's a weird shadow in his eyes when he finishes that sentence.

As if he didn't want to go back to just friends.

"Felix, I don't know if I..." You hesitate, because for god's sake, you love him. And spending the night with him would not help dimming those feelings. What if it hurt more? What if...?

"Please." He's begging, his lips barely hovering over yours, so kissable, so tempting.

And then you break.

Because for a moment you were looking at him, but now you're not... instead, you lean forward and you plant a soft kiss on his lips. And it's all you both need to unravel.

You link your arms around his head and pull him further towards you, locking your lips with him as he moans, now muffled by how you fiercely kiss him, and he pushes your body against the wall, your towel slipping downwards with ease.

Felix's eyes grow imposibly dark with lust, and he grunts at the sight of your curves. Even if you close your eyes due to the intensity of all this, you can still feel him everywhere, the fresh smell of shampoo lingering on his soft hair.

He kisses the air out of your lungs. "I knew you were beautiful." He bites you lower lip, his hands traveling down your body, allowing you to halfly grasp how down bad he seems. "I told you so."

And you can't fathom the fact that he can still tease you in situation like this, but your whole mind is dizzy, there is lava running through your body where Felix touches, and you can't help but moan at his words.

"F-felix." You whimper, only after he starts peppering kisses to your cheeks, your neck, and its when you feel he's slowly kneeling on the floor for you that your hands travel to the back of his head.

"F-fuck, darling." Felix pants heavily. "That sound." His kisses on your belly and thighs start to leave red marks behind. "It's going to kill me."

He’s crazy. And you’re crazy too, because even when his mouth is deep between your legs, his tongue running between your folds, and only loud, almost desperate moans echo around the room.

Fingers tickle up the back of your thighs, his hands hungrily pulling you to him, as he eats you out like he’s been craving for you for ages.

You’re a wreck. A writhing, moaning, shaking wreck, and you can only close your eyes tught and lean into the wall behind you for support, because if not, your legs would definetly give out.

Your hands sink into Felix’s hair for something to hold on to, and a satisfied groan rumbles in his throat, the butterflies on your stomach turning to beasts.

One of his hands moves from your legs, and you flutter your eyes open, finding his gorgeous face staring at you, your arousal all over his lips and chin. His beatiful brown eyes are locked into yours, watching you closely as he slides a finger inside.

It’s game over for you when he goes back with his mouth, your hands tugging harder at his hair as you whimper. “Felix…!”

You can’t even form the second sentece as you cum, everything tingling and throbbing when you moan loudly, pleasure and heat flooding your entire body.

Felix removes his finger and mouth, leaning back so he can look at you properly, wearing the most drunk and fucked-out expression you’ve ever seen as he sucks his fingers into his mouth, not once breaking eye contact.

Before either of you can even say anything, he stands back up again and kisses you. It’s not fierce or has any of the urgent feeling that it had last time, instead, it feels like a soft crash, messy, a kiss that allows you to taste yourself on him.

He turns the both of you and you find the bed sooner than expected, falling on top of him.

It’s before he can do anything that your hands travel under his sweatpants, and he trembles under your touch.

“Oh, darling...” Felix whimpers, melting to putty in your hands, both figurative and literally. “Y-yes, just like that.” He knows that you’ve ruined him for good, forgetting about the scrunchie on his wrist.

And you forget about it too, sinking him deep in your mouth.

It’s only when he starts tetiching and writhing that he stops you, and in that moment, your body conects back to your mind. You’ve never gone this far before, not with anyone.

“Felix.” You mutter, your voice hoarse. “I’ve… never… you know.”

His eyes grow wide.

“You’ve never had sex before?”

He’s not shaming you for it. He’s confused, because he had been jealous over your boyfriends who he thought got to have you, and he’s growing more aroused, because a small voice in his head is telling him that he can be your first.

“N-no…” he coos at you, kissing you softly.

But you know there’s no one you could trust with this more than him.

“Let me show you what you’ve been missing out on,” and your breathing turns even heavier. “Let me treat you like the princess you are.”

He takes out a condom from his drawer, swiftly rolling it down his length.

Felix kisses your cheeks, helping to ease the tension. Your hands link together, and even if you still have the scrunchie on your wrist, none of you realize that Felix’s scrunchie is no longer on his wrists, but had fallen down to the floor.

“It can hurt a little. But I’m here. It’ll be ok, darling.”

You nod, kissing him softly.

[🔸☆🌆☆🔸]

You can’t help but feel shy when he cleans you up.

It’s slightly awkward, because none of you know how whatever you were was going to work now.

You would never be able to forget this.

He sinks back into bed, his hand laying on your waist, and with a huff, his breathing settles, calming down.

You eyes are locked on his gorgeous face, and now that you’ve kissed him, you can’t help but peck him softly again.

The scrunchie in your wrist bothers you, and you throw it away.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, your hand traveling to his cheek, stroking it. “I love you.”

But his eyes flutter open, and he grins like a fool at you, launching his body back over yours.

He’s giggling like a madman, peppering kisses all over your face.

“Felix!” His hair tickles you, and you start to laugh too.

He stops, pinning your arms to the sides of your face, and kisses you lovingly.

“I love you too.”

It’s only after you both wake up, afterglow clear on both of your faces that when Minho and Jisung come back from the younger’s place, his eyes grow wide at both of you.

“You guys took what?!!”

~Kats, who now fears someone will find out that she googled how aphrodisiac chocolate works.

[peachie-bumblebee]

FNAF SECURITY BREACH NSFW HEADCANONS

MAIN 4

MINORS DNI

getting back to my ROOTS with this one!! hope my community is still out there- the dlc has brought back my love for the game :) i haven’t posted SB content in a LONG time so a reminder- I ONLY WRITE FOR CHARACTERS WHO PASS THE JACK HARKNESS TEST. They are OF AGE OR ABOVE, have HUMAN OR ABOVE INTELLIGENCE, and can VERBALLY GIVE INFORMED CONSENT. The SB animatronics are canonically sentient. None of the past ones are. okay- back to the content :D

CW: ONE PREGNANCY MENTION, KINK RELATED T0YS, SEMI-PUBLIC MENTIONS, DACRIPHILIA

GLAMROCK FREDDY

lord have mercy…

he’s the most virgin coded out of all of them. i’m sorry.

but do I think he’s a TOTAL virgin? no.

there are FREAKS out there (me writing this and y’all reading this-) who would 1000% show up to the pizzaplex just tryna get a piece of the fazballs

SORRY

he’s the type to silently get off in his dressing room and then get all embarrassed about it like there’s someone there to judge him

he’s an actual sweetheart in the sheets. he’s so so nice about everything. as we go down the list this DECREASES.

don’t push him too fucking hard tho. if you’re one of the ones who read my old fic Competition, you remember.

his fingers vibrate.

and so does that dick.

he’d turn it on inside of you and listen to you gasp before putting a hand gently over your mouth and hushing you.

he seems a lot like a gasper. maybe the occasional curse word coming out, but mostly praises of how good it feels.

i know he is a messy cummer. i’m right and that’s final.

he’d be absolutely humiliated after the fact and go get a wet washcloth asap, but it’s a very shocking amount anyway.

pregnancy isn’t a concern, but he’s still wary about cumming inside for some reason. he’s the type to make sure it’s okay like 3 times before he does it.

okay i lowkey think he’d be into getting handcuffed. i don’t know what handcuffs could genuinely hold him, but if you brought them out he’d be (figuratively) SWEATING

i think his eyes roll back when he cums. and i’m correct. eat me.

he’s the lead member but he’s humble about it… except a few times in bed. then he lets it go to his head(s). just a bit. ;)

if he was in a relationship he’d have a thing about his partner dressed in his merch

switch! but the most vanilla out of everyone- but remember, not completely.

…he’d eat his cum out of you.

no he is NOT gonna call you superstar during sex leave me ALONEEE

GLAMROCK CHICA

my biggest hc for her will and will always be that she has a MASSIVE toy collection. she is a toy girl. do i know how she gets them? not exactly.

but I DO know that they’re all pink and white and sparkly!

that doesn’t mean it’s all vanilla toys though (respect to the vanilla community but it is not me :) )

she does own a hot pink flogger and she WILL happily use it on a groupie or her partner.

she’s such a tease. she’s such a fucking tease jsghskbnsjh

doesn’t matter if she’s domming or subbing (60/40 ratio)

she’s a TEASE

and she giggles during sex

her whole bubbly pink happy girl thing doesn’t stop

she’ll put you in a bubblegum pink sex swing and use a big ass vibrator on you while giggling and telling you how cute you look

i know she likes pulling on nipples I KNOW SHE DOES

for those who used to ask- no, she can’t give head with her beak. and she’s not taking it off. sun/moon can’t give sloppy either BUT THEY MAKE IT WORK!

AND SHE DOES TOO!

she can fuck up the guitar with her fingers, what else do you think they can do?

she’s the type to pull you into a side room, hush you, finger fuck you, then send you on your way with a hug

i know for a FACT SHE WEARS A STRAP!

yes it IS glitter. it is also 9 inches.

and if you want more, she has more ways to give you that.

she’s also the type to get you front row tickets and put a remote control vibe in you so she can watch you squirm right in front of her.

she’s also a praiser, but there’s a lot of false sympathy in there too.

food aftercare. she wants to eat 3 pizzas with you. food is her love language

ROXANNE WOLF

YOU BETTER BARK LIKE YOU WANT IT!

she’s a dom. she just is.

god I miss that fic I wrote.

she’s so fucking cocky in bed. it’d be insufferable if she wasn’t so hot and so good at sex.

if who she’s fucking is AFAB she’s EATING IT!!!! YOU CAN BET ON IT THAT SHE DOES MUNCH!

if they’re AMAB then you can expect her to lean them back on her chest and give them the most intense handjob of their life.

in general, the animatronics are stronger than people, so when they’re rough they’re still not going at their hardest. that would actually just kill you.

she’s a show-off. she’ll leave marks in very noticeable places on purpose so that everyone knows that you’re getting fucked by THE Roxanne Wolf

she’s a hair puller. I just know she likes to wrap her claws up in it and pull.

don’t fucking pull hers though, she doesn’t like that shit.

yeah her tail wags when you eat her out, what about it? don’t point that shit out, it’s embarrassing to her.

she curses so much during sex.

the strap is purple and THICK. if you want more then she’ll just hit up Chica for a new one. Chica is more than happy to help. and more than happy to watch.

she’s only the jealous type if its some rando loser. THEN she’ll fuck the living shit out of you while telling you how she’s the best and making you repeat it back to her.

if it’s Monty or Chica? If you’d be into it too, then yeah, she’ll share.

…Freddy is more of a hard sell, but it’s not a hard no.

it’s more of a “Yeah yeah yeah but why do you wanna fuck the dumbass bear? Why him? Monty’s got a bigger one, I’ll tell you that.”

yeah but roxy baby his doesn’t vibrate

she comes off a winning high after a particularly close race, she’s going to go feral on you

with those eyes of hers, she can find you wherever you go. so if she’s randomly in the mood and her partner is there, even halfway across the pizzaplex, she’s on her way to pull you into her room and take some “private time.”

MONTGOMERY GATOR

hhhhhhooOOOHHH BOY

y’all remember the start of SB where he’s fucking up his room?

prepare to be destroyed HSGDHJSGBDNH

degrades. degrades the fuck out of you. it’s a toss up between Roxy and Monty who’s the more cocky, but he’s certainly meaner.

LONG ASS DICK. IT’S HUGE WITH ALL SORTS OF BUMPS AND RIDGES AND SHIT.

head pusher IF you’re okay with it. consent is mandatory.

he’d grab all his partner’s hair if they had any to grab, even just an INCH and go ham.

his long ass dick matches his long fucking tongue.

loves giving lethal backshots LOOOOOOOORD HAAAAAAAAVVVEEEE MEEERCYYYYYY

he’s not only breaking the bed, it’s straight up sawdust. idk how his partners live but they certainly live happily after.

as cocky as he is, he’s not exactly a selfish lover by any means. yeah, he’ll edge you, but he also likes to get his partner real sloppy if you catch my drift.

he aims to make you cry from pleasure. it’s straight up his goal.

i just know he knows EXACTLY where all the right spots are. you don’t even gotta tell him, inside or outside, no matter personal preference, he can always pinpoint his partner’s sweet spots

and then he proceeds to abuse the fuck out of that knowledge

he gets so jealous over Freddy, it’s insane

he sees his partner in his merch, he’s ripping it to shreds.

Roxy is less of a threat. That can be more of a collaborative effort.

he honestly doesn’t know how much of a freak in the sheets Chica is. If he had a threesome with her and she whipped out her chest of fun he’d be like “DAMN BITCH WHERE’D YOU GET ALL THOSE” and she’d be like “^-^ wanna see my buttplug collection? :>” LMFAOOO

GROANER. he GROANS LIKE CRAZY

also a bit of a growl but NOT in the cringe tiktok way don’t worry

HOPE YALL ENJOYED!!! I really hope I can start to find my old community with this :)

[directdogman]

Hey dogman, out of all the characters you’ve made who was your favorite to make/write? Oh and who was the hardest?

I truly like writing for all of my characters, but Callum Crown, Phonegingi + Mayor Mingus are three favourites. Stabby + Shooty are always a joy to write as well. All three characters are fun in solo scenes but also make for really fun pairings, though I know you guys haven't seen much of Crown interacting with different characters.

Hardest I think was Oliver. I had intense writer's block when I started with his route. I had basically the whole character outlined but felt something was missing, like I couldn't really see into his head? I could see him, hear him, but I was wondering how I'd write a whole route with the guy. Y'see, I'd finished Randy + Karen's routes at that point and both of them had a pay-off where you wound up learning about a core insecurity of each. Oliver isn't directly insecure in any way and I knew in my heart + soul that I was missing something big in his characterization. I knew who he was, but not why he was the person he was. The question tortured me to the point I almost scrapped the character for a time.

It wound up being his devotion to Mr Dickens and his early life stuff that was missing. Oliver has a really positive attitude, but there is a very subtle underlying sadness to him. In his route, he's doing everything in his power to save his mentor's business, knowing that if he doesn't, Mr Dickens loses out on his dream. We wind up learning later that Mr Dickens has more or less made peace with his fate but Oliver refuses to give up, vows to tear part reality at the seams if he must - if it means he can change the outcome of Mr Dickens' story.

I'm still debating how much of his early life stuff to show and what to put in the DLC vs, say, a short story, but that cements why Oliver feels he has to do anything in order to save Mr Dickens. That extra layer is why I really like Oliver and what makes Randy such a good foil to Oliver as a datable. It makes a lot of sense why Oliver is so much more positive than Randy. Oliver was exposed to more kindness than Randy and feels he has a duty to return it back to the world.

[most-datable-datable-bracket]

MOST DATABLE DATABLE CHARACTER FINAL ROUND

Garrus propaganda:

"Garrus is a character who went from being a shit head punk in ME1 and grows and betters himself over the games. He talks over the hard choices in ME3 without judging Shepard no matter what they choice. He is pretty much the first to stand up for them and even when his own home is being destroyed and he doesn’t know if his father and sister are alive he’s there for SHEPARD. He is there for the person who is always there for everyone else! ME3 Garrus is honestly Best Garrus and I want to celebrate how good his character arc is over the games.

And the best part is: the romance doesn’t fix him. He still grows and improves if you romance him or not!

Idk, I just don’t think it’s super fair to reduce him to his ME1 character when the fact that him growing and improving is the part I like best about him. Garrus, to me, shows you can always get better and life is about always getting better. It’s never too late to be better.

And he has the power to make Shepard dance good in the Citadel DLC."

Zevran propaganda:

"what about 'for the chance to be by your side i would storm the dark city itself'?? he can essentially propose!! if you die he canonically never loves again!!"

"literally the sweetest romance ive ever had the chance of doing

everytime i play origins i try to romance someone else but the momebt he starts talking i absolutely melt!!!!!

zevran shouldnt just be boiled down to bisexual elf man

he also is deeply traumatized since he was used for his body since a young child

so the warden and zevrans romance is such a sweet and slow romance ws you slowly help him realize that you dont just see him as his body!!!!

hes the sweetest man on earth and i will die on this hill

i will never love anyone more than this man"

[papakhan]

I'll make my own post actually. I think it's an under appreciated detail and piece of characterisation how the courier is buried not only fully clothed but also carrying stimpaks, caps, and their weapon of choice (and we know its THEIR weapon because the game gives you whatever type of weapon you scored highest in with skills). And sure its just a game mechanic thing but they could have just as easily had Doc Mitchell say "here's some stuff of mine to help you out" but he explicitly says "here, this is all you had on you". Also I need you guys to ignore the DLC dumping all that shit on you at the start of the game okay forget about it. I know it's funny but it's not what I'm talking about

It's interesting no matter who you pin this behavior on. If it was Benny preventing the Khans from robbing the courier as they would any raider victim, then that's just another layer of him thinking he's being respectful about the ordeal. Or at the very least enjoys having power over the Khans and ordering them around.

However my headcanon is that it was the Khans who buried the courier in this way. And I say this because they bury the courier in the same way they bury Chance, another Khan whose grave you can find in game, in his armor and with his weapon. And I just think it's fun and interesting to think that these guys who, from the comic we know wanted no real part in any of this and are only here for money, laid the courier to rest in the most respectful way they knew-- like one of theirs.

And actually according to one of the trailers the couriers hands are unbound while in their grave so. And they're still fully clothed. So actually Doc Mitchell giving the courier the vault suit is more likely because he had to dispose of their og clothing because yknow. It'd be filthy from being in the ground and on the couriers comatose body (do you know what the body does when it's comatose. Trust me you don't want those clothes back) and also knowing emergency medicine the courier was probably cut out of their clothes because if you're concerned about a head/neck injury cutting clothes off is less disruptive then trying to wiggle an unconscious person out of them and possibly causing more damage.

Anyway. Either way the Khans and Benny still show more respect to the couriers "dead" body then the courier/you the player show to any of your victims I mean. How many powder gangers did you strip naked and leave to rot under the desert sun? Or legionaries? Or raiders? Or the Khans themselves? Much to think about

[solxamber]

If you haven’t gotten this already, maybe a part 2 to Idia x sentient npc reader?

Maybe they somehow find themselves in twst? Maybe isekai style (I’m stuck on you villainess fics lol)? Or if you had other ideas that’s totally fine too. (I’m not used to requesting 😭)

I really like your stuff so honestly I wanna give you as much creative freedom. Or if you feel like that fic is over/you don’t have inspo for it anymore that’s understandable too 😊

Keep up the amazing work!! 💖💖

Idia Shroud x Sentient NPC Part 2

Part 1 : here

Thank you for the request, and I'm glad you like my isekai fics <3

The moment you blink into existence in Twisted Wonderland, you’re not sure if this is real life or another game glitch. One minute you were comfortably breaking the fourth wall and wooing a gamer, and the next? You’re standing in front of an overgrown haunted house with a big “Night Raven College” sign. And a certain blue-haired, fire-topped guy is gaping at you like you’ve just sprouted another head.

“W-WAIT,” Idia stammers, eyes wide behind his tablet as he stares at you. “This—This isn’t happening. There’s no way. Did I… did I actually summon an NPC?!”

You take one look at him—tousled hair, dark circles under his eyes, and the way his fingers hover over his tablet like it’s some sort of lifeline—and a grin tugs at your lips. Oh, this is gonna be good.

“Well, well, well,” you say, casually strolling over to him. “If it isn’t my favorite player. Miss me?”

Idia makes a noise somewhere between a squeak and a strangled gasp, his whole body freezing up. “Y-You—! You’re here! How are you here?! Did I—is this some cursed DLC? Am I in a nightmare? Oh my god, is this another event?!”

You lean in, narrowing your eyes playfully. “Nightmare? Babe, I thought you were happy to see me.”

Idia’s face flushes a deep red, and he yanks his hoodie up over his head, mumbling something incoherent into the fabric. “H-Happy? Who said anything about happy?! I didn’t sign up for a ‘real-life NPC invading my world’ edition!”

You raise an eyebrow. “Oh? You weren’t just thinking about how much you’d like me if I were in the real world?”

He stiffens so hard it’s like his entire spine turned into a steel rod. “HOW DID YOU—NO. I didn’t—this isn’t—this is a glitch, it has to be! Or a fever dream. Or maybe I finally lost it after all those sleepless nights grinding for rare drops—"

"You're cute when you ramble," you interrupt with a smirk, enjoying watching him implode. "So, are you going to show me around this place, or should I just assume you’re too flustered to handle me?"

Idia stares at you like you’ve grown two extra heads. “Y-You’re just… okay with this? You’re literally… in a different dimension, and you’re fine?!”

You shrug. “Eh, it’s a step up from my last gig. Besides,” you add, leaning in closer, “I kinda like having you as my guide.”

His brain short-circuits for a full ten seconds. “G-GUIDE?! L-Like an actual dating sim?! Do you think this is a game?!”

You pause dramatically. “Isn’t everything a game?”

There’s an audible groan from behind you, and you turn to find Grim, your new furry audience member, smacking his face with his paw. “Great, just what we needed—another weirdo.”

Idia, still staring at you like you’re some kind of unholy glitch in his life’s code, manages to stammer out, “I—I can’t believe this is real. There’s no way this is real.”

You smirk. “It’s real, all right. And don’t pretend you’re not thrilled. I can practically hear your heart racing.”

His face flushes even deeper, and he clutches his tablet like it’s his last connection to sanity. “Okay, okay. You’re in Twisted Wonderland, fine. But this doesn’t mean you get to start… start messing with the plot!”

You grin. “Who says I’m here to follow the plot?”

Idia lets out a strangled noise, burying his face deeper in his hoodie. “This… this is too much. I’m not ready for this level of immersion. This is like, hardcore VR, but real! And with you here, it’s… it’s… OH MY GOD, WHAT DO I DO?!”

You put a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to look at you. “Easy. You play the game, Idia. And let me show you how fun it can get when I’m the one writing the script.”

The look of sheer panic—and excitement—on his face is priceless. "Y-You're serious?!" he squeaks, not sure whether to pass out or burst into flames from sheer embarrassment. "But, like—what if this is a permanent event?! What if I never—"

"Oh, relax," you say, poking his chest lightly. "I'll make sure we both enjoy this little 'quest.'"

There’s another groan from Grim, but you ignore him, keeping your eyes locked on the flustered mess in front of you. Idia’s practically a puddle at this point, cheeks redder than Riddle’s roses, but you know he’s loving every second of it.

“Okay,” he mutters, glancing between you and his tablet. “Okay, I can work with this. Maybe it’s not a total catastrophe. I mean, you’re here, so—wait, does that mean you’re, like… my NPC now?”

You flash him a rogue grin. “If that’s what you want, I’m all yours.”

Idia blinks. Then, with the kind of realization that only a true gamer would have, he straightens up slightly. “I-Is this… the ultimate secret route?!”

"Could be," you say, leaning in closer. "You think you can handle it?"

He stares at you, wide-eyed and flustered beyond belief, but finally, he nods—though it's more of a nervous twitch than anything. "Y-Yeah. Yeah, I-I can handle it. This is fine. Totally fine. Just… don’t, uh, don’t go rogue too much? I-I don’t think I can survive if you start rewriting my entire life!”

You laugh. “No promises, player.”

The panic in his eyes is real, but so is the smile slowly creeping onto his face. And as you stand there, facing him in this strange new world, you realize you’re both about to have a lot of fun.

"Welcome to the real game," you whisper, before pulling him into a kiss.

Idia promptly drops his tablet.

Masterlist

[local-diavolo-anon]

i apologise if i'm posting this much about the DLC but i am very excited

so theory time! this time about Glamrock Bonnie!

someone found Glamrock Bonnie in bonnie bowl and someonw else got his pieces from the gamefiles and stuck the model back together (the images are not mine, i have no idea who even psoted them ebcause they've been reposted a crapload of times, but i know the originals came from twitter)

i feel a bit sad than logically he was there the whole time during the main game as well and we simply couldn't see him

but also: He has claw marks on his chest, which i think pretty much confirms that monty is the one that broke him apart.

however. that's not nearly enough damage to decommission a glamrock animatronic, as we have seen.

hell monty looks like this in the dlc and he is still kicking (probably by the power of god tho) and i remember seeing THIS video some time ago, so let me bring you something a bit painful:

most people i've seen pinpoin monty's actions toward bonnie as envy and resentment, however in monty golfs whenever we see character cutouts or holograms Freddy is the one in the shadows, always. wouldn't have made it more sense for monty to try and attack someone he quite clearly disliked instead of bonnie? we know freddy and bonnie were close, so with some stretch you could even say monty was jealous of freddy's relationship with bonnie (but i'm not going to account that here) If the theory from that video is true and bonnie was the first and only trial test of the grlitchtrap virus on a full glamrock animatronic, what if monty noticed? what if monty saw that bonnie was acting weird, and when confronted him realized something was severely wong for a reason or another? and either to prevent the spread of the virus, OR simply out of self preservation he was forced to fight with bonnie? because if the mimic were to see someone noticed him, he'd likely try and make them disappear in one way or another so my theory-timeline is: Bonnie was infected, started acting weird, wandered around and ultimately ended in monty golf, monty saw him and went to him, then noticed something was wrong, bonnie attacked him to make sure nobody knew, and monty had to defend himself.

i'm fairly sure this is at least somewhat correct because Monty's claws can do some serious damage, and definitely more than what Bonnie's torso and head show. (edit: yes even without upgrade, Monty still has very big and sharp claws, realistically they could totally do that amount of damage, + in the original draft of the game, from Monty you were supposed to take his legs, and the claw upgrade was not a thing at all, yet it was always hinted he did caused bonnie's decommission)

all of this to say that bonnie more likely was decommissioned not because of the damage, but rather because because when technicians tried to fix him they noticed something had infected him, and to prevent any further spreading they were forced to deactivate him.