#in that i fucking hate it and think it makes the viewing experience worse for folks with no context for irish so like??partial understanding

[iamfuckingsorry]

"Do you know where we are going next?" I asked ART.

Y'know what, I think maybe I don't need any more Murderbot books. I think maybe ending things here is fucking perfect and as much as I love Wells's writing I'm genuinely not sure it can get better for me.

Like, so much of the books are about MB learning how to be a person, about becoming okay with being a complete individual with everything it entails. The first thing it does once it's actually allowed to decide on its own is it runs away from it all (admittedly to go on a mission to confirm some things about its past, because it genuinely just wants to be *good*). It shoves all its emotions away as much as it's able to. Then shit happens, and it makes its first friends, makes decisions based on these friendships, goes through a lot of emotionally intense situations...

And we get to this point here. MB having zero doubts about going with ART says a lot about its relationship with ART, but it also says a lot about its relationship with its humans - it knows that wherever it goes, when it comes back, the humans will still be there. Its humans actively acknowledge its struggles with being a now-free SecUnit and MB is willing to entertain the discussions to an extent and share information about its deeply personal experiences. Hell, System Collapse ends with MB admitting it might be somewhat broken, but that's okay as long as it can keep doing its job, and agreeing to basically do counselling - this is the guy what would rewatch its favourite TV show again and again in order to avoid acknowledging it even had Emotions a couple books back.

Reading this, I know that MB will be okay. It has hopes and goals and genuinely believes in itself and it has an amazing support system that its willing to lean on for the first time in its life. I'm convinced it'll go on to do great things with ART. And that's really the only thing I need to know.

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Due to my obsession with the devils from abbadon (Phenix is underrated). I DEMAND (kindly ask) you to hand over all your headcannons about them.

Since you're asking so politely, I shall give it to you

Abaddon headcanon (Tw: Abaddon)

Since Abaddon is THE sex dangeon of all of Hell, and you can see public sex everywhere, I think that the people in Abaddon don't have the concept of consent. Everyone already wants to fuck and doing it in public with strangers is just the norm, so if any Abaddon nobles got a boner they'll just get undressed and fuck you right then and there

If we want to get really dark, we could even say that cries for "stop" and "no" are just taken as dirty talk. You can't tell me someone in Abaddon isn't into cnc.

Asmodeus likes seing his subjects fuck so he invites his nobles over and uses his powers to get them to rail eachother for his entertainment. Who needs porn when you can just make two of your people fuck for you?

Weirdly enough, Abaddon demons are actually very interested in romance. Their king was the only one that had a wife and kids, so they can do more than just fuck

Even someone like Phenix can be quite romantic when Asmodeus is asleep or something.

When Paradise Lost first became the ER of hell, it was filled with Abaddon demons because a) they're neighbouring countries b) they try very dangerous stuff for sexual pleasure and it usually fails

Abaddon was the first to lose healthcare priveledges and that's why Asmodeus and Lucifer don't talk with eachother.

Now they only have Marbas as the countries doctor

Marbas used to be just a normal demon before he was assigned to Abaddon. Since he was exposed to more of Asmodeus' charm, he started acting more violent and horny, so Lucifer had to tie him up

Asmodeus' charm is kind of like nuclear energy, where, the longer you're exposed to it the worse the symptoms get. And then you end up like Phenix.

The noble with the most one night stands to his name is Ronové. You can randomly ask a devil what their experience with Ronové was like and they'll have a story about it

Asmodeus used to take Ronové to meetings with him as an assistent, but he kept talking about how beautiful amputated feet are so Asmodeus gags him now.

Masturbating is a form of prayer towards Asmodeus.

Asmodeus is autistic and his special interest is sex. He's also a strong believer in learning by doing

Phenix was Asmodeus' caretaker when Asmo was little and that's why he's the most affected by his charms.

Asmodeus is the only demon in Abaddon that you can have a conversation with that doesn't involve sex. He'll still flirt tho

Abaddon demons can heal by having sex, which is how Dantalian got his kink

He got really badly wounded and was about to die before Phenix fucked him and his wounds closed off enough that he could walk himself to Paradise Lost

In that sense, Abaddon demons are healers but only to other Abaddon demons

Abaddon is the top honey moon destination in Hell.

The country they're closest to is Avisos because they have similar views on sex.

Asmodeus is the only demon king that can go to the human world at will without any complications. Even Satan gets shit for leaving for half an hour, but Asmodeus could be gone for days and nobody would complain.

He's closest with Belphegor but only by proxy. They're not friends, but they don't hate eachother so that's a plus in his book

None of the other kings really like him because when Asmodeus wants something, he would do anything to get it. And I trully mean anything. Nobody trusts this charming little back stabber.

Asmodeus has a statue of his former lover in the royal garden. If anyone tried to touch it he would brake all the bones in their body. He sometimes just stares at it and laments her death

He wouldn't even let the decendent of Solomon touch it. That's his wife and you can go find another.

He still has the makeshift wedding ring on his finger and he plays with it when he's bored. When Dantalian was little he stole it to try and get in danger with Asmodeus, but he almost shat his pants when he saw the absolutely terrifing glare Asmo had on.

When there's no battles to be had, Phenix goes to Asmodeus's chambers and humps his leg like a bitch in heat. Asmo sometimes picks him up on his lap and jerks him off while he works.

He'd be on a phone call like "Don't worry about the screams, my dog's in heat."

All electronics in Abaddon are waterproof... or more specificly, cum proof.

Ok wow, fuck this was longer than expected and I still have some. Abaddon is my second favorite country and we'll see if it because the first by Christmas.

[low-budget-korra]

Let's talk about Caitlyn Kiramman from Arcane (again)

Tons to talk about her so, here we go

1. Is she privileged? Yes. Is she a bad person because of it? No.

In fact, from the beginning, Caitlyn always wanted to do what's right and that's the reason she became an enforcer(in her life experience until then, as Piltie, the enforcers were there to keep the peace and help the city and it's people). She wanted to help people and was one of the few Top Siders who viewed Zaun people as people and not monsters or trash.

2. Did she get blind by revenge and make some bad stuff? Yes.

But let's be fr, if my mom was murdered like that and by the same people I tried to help, I would do the same or even worse and probably so are you Caitlyn haters. And that's okay, we are emotional beings and rage truly is something that blinds people.

Not to be that person but half of Caitlyn's hate posts just scream "i never lost someone important in my life and I don't know how grief works" Cuz unfortunately I did and even tho it wasn't nowhere near the violent way Cassandra died, I still had to struggle with the anger phase. And I say this bc people act Caitlyn was just pulling a tantrum, overacting or smt

Sure, her pain ain't bigger than Jinx's or Vi's, but it's still hurts and the only true difference is that Cassandra had the privilege of an honorable funeral, while Felicia and many others from Zaun, didn't have. But don't be here all condescendingly try to disqualify Caitlyn pain just bc she is rich

Anyway, she was so blind by revenge that she released the toxic gas on Zaun, and it is said and shown that she only used to clean the streets before search operations and against the baroons. Still fucked up bc there's no way innocents weren't harmed but still, it ain't like she release the gas on everyone just for funzies as some people comments

Ambessa played her cards pretty well bc it's easier to do something like that if you dehumanize your enemy. And those Zaun thugs were dumb enough to fall for the Ambessa trap in the ceremony and the whole Zaun suffered because of that.

And if we can learn something from this is not to be too quick to violence bc you may be played and in the end, you and your people will suffer with the oppressors now ""justified"" actions. Yes, violence can help but we need to know how and when to use it.

3. Caitlyn is possibly the most complex and misunderstood character from season 2. Mostly bc even tho we had lots of micro expressions and subtext that explain her actions, there were things that maybe needed to be said. This would save the character from being so misunderstood

Like a scene with her saying something like "Vi...I'm sorry if I hurt you" and then Vi would respond like "if?" and then silence after. Could even be in that scene in act3 when Vi just wakes up from the coma. Idk, I know it sounds dumb but again, it would save the character from being misunderstood and hated over them

"But Caitlyn changing sides was too plot convenient and came outta nowhere". No? Lmao in fact you can see in her face how she regrets hitting on Vi and how she kinda of doesn't want to be there when Ambessa is making the speech in the end of act1

But then again, Ambessa plays her cards and calls out Caitlyn into a position where she simply can't say no. Remember that they were already thinking that someone from the Top may have helped the attack and Caitlyn was seen hanging around with a Zaun criminal and sister of the terrorist, if she refused what Ambessa was offering, people would assume she is a traitor and that could mean death to her.

Months go by and when we see act2 Caitlyn she is already more calm, her initial rage and wishes of vengeance kinda of ran out, and she is already realizing all the shit she did and disagreeing with Ambessa's ideas. In simple terms: She just wanted a way out.

Oh and let's not forget how Caitlyn was alone during all that. Her father was also grieving, Jace was gone, Mel was gone, Vi was gone...she was all alone and emotionally vulnerable, which makes it so much easier for Ambessa to manipulate her

So when she reunited with Vi and Vi called her Cupcake, it's like "wait, you not hate me after what I did to you?" moment , it was when she realized she wasn't alone anymore. And after hearing that Vi was helping her father, Caitlyn immediately wanted to help - maybe as a way of saying sorry, to redeem herself from the bad shit she did during those 6 months.

And when she got to see Jinx happily and chill, just hugging her dad...it was the moment she remembered Jinx wasn't a monster, that little moment is when she starts humanize Jinx and we can see in her eyes.

"then why did she arrest Jinx" Because Jinx surrendered and she had no choice, Jinx didn't kill just her mom. But she waits for Vi to wake up, to decide what to do and I bet while this happened, people were pressuring her to execute Jinx already or something.

That conversation she had with Jinx kind of seal the deal. Probably the first proper conversation they had and seeing Jinx so weak and vulnerable...it totally makes her destroy the image she previously had of her. There's no way back, she didn't forgive Jinx and I don't think she ever will, but she stopped hating her. Which is a start.

And knowing Vi would never allow Jinx to stay in jail, Caitlyn just say "fuck it" and let Vi release her sister. This was an act of love, especially bc Cait knew Vi could just run away with Jinx and she may never see her again.

"the CaitVi sex scene was unnecessary" I didn't see any of these when it was Jayce and Mel tho 🤷

It is both sad and funny how a huge part of the Caitlyn haters also loved and forgave Silco. This just proves that if a woman will be judged harder, a lesbian will be judged 2x more harder cuz the amount of lesbophobic comments I've seen...

[mrmeepsmadmind]

Please i would love to hear all of the headcannons on Soundblaster i beg we need more of this silly guy

PUTTING U IN MY POCKET AND CHERISHING U FOREVER FOR ASKING ME THIS. i LOOOVEEE YAPPPP!!!!!!!

MY SOUNDBLASTER HEADCANONS / GEN THOUGHTS AND STUFF !!!!!! Warning for dark, mature topics like g*re mention / h*micide ‼️‼️. Not rlly explored but mentioned. No s*xual stuff tho. Still tho, disclaimer, he's an awful cold mech ... who tortures u and twerks to stuck in the middle with you while doing it

best way i can describe how i view Soundblaster is an orca born & raised at SeaWorId who ended up accidentally kiIIing a trainer while playing as a baby and was then separated from his mother, pod, home, everything he once knew.. & luckily released as untrainable into the wild,

but he wishes he was kiIIed instead

he yearns for family, deep down, but can't. have one .

he views his old family as weak & miserable, stuck behind glass to perform for others until they die, & he hates them for not at least trying to fight for him when they took him away. The fact that they couldn't do anything but didn't at least Try just to Attempt . . makes it even worse.

at least he is free to swim the entire ocean as his exercise. But his past follows him everywhere. he is excluded from pods for his nature being even too unorthodox for them, his fin forever drooped. other animals naturally fear him. & he misses his mom ( soundwave ), even though he hates her. He hates her because he misses her .

In my headcanon, SB was made to be a bot with No sentimental attachments, specifically to cassettes, created by Shockwave at the order of megatron. He was made with the purpose of being a bot who could send soldiers off to die without a blink. He was made to be ruthless for the decepticon cause, no one else.

Soundwave Hates SB. The mere idea of SB implies there to be a flaw within Soundwave that caused Shockwave, a mech whose intelligence is renowned, to decide such a severe action as cloning was necessary to fix that. Out of the big three decepticons, soundwave is the bot who deals with empathy the most, although that bar is VERYYYY low considering his comparisons are shockwave and starscream (who is a much better contender than shock in the empathy battle, but star is more involved with his self than outward empathy for others at this point in the war ). Soundwave deals with mentality and communication. Despite his monotone, he does feel. He tunes it out for the cause but thats because he values the cause over the value of others' thoughts, he has to, that's his Job. But tuning out his cassettes' thoughts .... it's. That's when it gets difficult. Soundwave values shockwave for his contributions for the cause with his intellectual gifts and curses. Shockwave making Soundblaster is like if your husband made The Perfect Robot Wife right in front of you and expected you to be perfectly fine with it because thats how you've HAD to be your whole life. If it's better for the cause, than it's better for everyone and everything, ultimately. So just do what you're Assigned to do, soundwave, and simply tune it Out.

SB didn't hate soundwave at the beginning.

i think the whole FAILED clone experiment should be more explored in SB. not just as a 'lol look at sb! Soundwave would NEVER do that! That's so funny!!' like that's cute of course but.. we can also go even further to 'oh my Primus. Soundwave would Never go as FAR to do this . 'and soundblaster just grins with his visor and says ' that's why i'm the Upgrade . ' he's the opposite in some extensions, but similar in some, and that's what makes others so wary, and it's not just from similar appearances, bcs i think that's something soundblaster can try to do something about and has

I think of Soundblaster as WaveWave's fucked up child who fucking hates them, can't stop being compared to them, and can't stop missing them no matter how hard he tries. He's discarded and pretends like he doesn't care, but he's so. Empty. No matter how things he forces into his new cassettes, hobbies he switches to, careers, accents, teams, bodies and parts he keeps in his tapedeck, he's just. Empty in the end.

He's programmed to be ultimately unfeeling. Everything he builds is necessary for his own entertainment, and everything he burns down is necessary for his apathetic functioning, while still desperately trying to wring out at least SOME joy out of it, but always ultimately being unable thanks to shockwave.

SB is intelligent, not to shockwave's capabilities, but he tries. He has shockwave's ability to push and abuse boundaries for the sake of expanding his interest in knowledge, and he has soundwave's observations. He collects information and then He capitalizes on it. HE capitalizes. HE is the cause here, though, not decepticons or autobots, shanix, not even to rule something because it might Seem fun at first .. but then that nagging restlessness tugs him again and he needs to make another cruel move simply for the sake of Moving, of thinking he Can feel. If others, populations, companies, markets, etc, just so happen to be lucky enough to momentarily benefit off that or unlucky enough to be tortured from it, then so be it. He doesn't care. And he's not even saying that to seem stronger to everyone because he Doesn't care (look out for, wonder, worry, valuing feelings, etc. He doesn't view anyone as anything but slight distractions to keep his processor jumping instead of just running) for Anyone, No matter how hard he tries, he always ends up abandoning everyone in the end because abandonment is all he knows. Shockwave and soundwave differ only bcs they tie with his creation. Shockwave is akin to Primus to him, only because SB doesn't care for Primus, but he Does find himself pondering Shockwave, HIS creator because Shockwave made HIM, ties to HIM, tethered to HIM. soundwave is similar. SB hates that, he hates being tethered to anything or anybot. It's just not his programming. He needs distractions so he doesn't have to think about his programming being permanent for at least a few seconds, but it always reminds him it's Never leaving in the end, and part of him doesn't want it to because if he doesn't feel nothing then he'll feel Scared, and he can't tell which is worse

Personal attributes

His voice is booming, dominating, and emphatic because he's learned how to mimic the right inflections, personality, pathology, etc to act alive just so he can remind you he's not in the end because it'll make the pain hit harder for you, & that's Much more Fun in his eyes. He can mimic accents fluently, and sometimes just changes them rapid fire for some shake up. He'll go from a cowboy to Italian in a split for no rhyme or reason, he simply Wanted to. When he Speaks, you Listen.

He views jobs as the same throwaway thing, as he views everything. He goes from a mercenary with a band of bots who admire him for his confident callousness until he burns it all to the ground to explore a new avenue, while success sometimes happens to follow bcs people can't help but worship how indifferently strong he is. Mercenary, pirate, black market, thief, torturer, executioner, decepticon brief ally, autobot brief ally, energon disperser, he wants to do it all because he needs to because it's Different and he Needs differences, not to be quirky for others, but to fool himself into thinking that just for one moment.. he could change

But he never does ! He's stuck in a programmed cycle of apathy and he's dragging others down with him to distract him from the constant spiral

Like how skybound soundwave loves sealife and whales, SB loves dolphins. He loved orcas for their color scheme, but then he researched and further fell in love, trying to model himself into something separate from soundwave without even knowing he's still stuck being eerily similar but still eerily different, not enough to be lovingly regaled the same, nor stand out as a bot truly Different and his own.

Orcas and soundblaster are very similar in many ways. Orcas can even mimic humans.

Soundblaster has STRONG mental abilities. Hypnosis is his favorite. Unlike soundwave, he doesn't care who he hurts with it, he revels in it. Until he's bored. Soundblaster loves to lure unsuspecting bots of all factions by using others' voices and their thoughts to fool everyone, like a siren, but unlike a siren, he's not trying to feed on drunken sailors for survival, he just felt like playing that day . He loves displaying graphic images on his visor or any screen, whether that be a victim's loved one dying from footage he's saved of him torturing them, or just showing them some of his favorite g*re footage because he felt like sharing that day, he just thinks it'll be a neat trick for him to do. His screens often display disturbing, uncomfortable images, with horrifying sounds to match as well

However, SB has weaker sound abilities than soundwave, either from improper training, care, or maybe even an inability to fully replicate what the original can do. His speakers are distorted and sometimes slowed or skipping. Dancing queen slowed reverb YouTube song lol. Happy music is usually not as affected by his radio quality, aside from the occasional audial splitting sparks, so he likes listening to that while torturing.

Back to the sound, his soundwave are weaker. At close distances they're stronger, but far away they echo out and surround instead of always focusing. To help him out, he has an orca-like tail that can extend from his spinal strut to help direct the waves better. But hypnosis is just so much more fun.

SB loves earth, he thinks there's just so many opportunities to have some joy before getting bored! Mimicking a mother calling for her child to lure it away for dissection. Mimicking a baby crying for its mother. Mimicking a puppy and displaying footage of a poor puppy trapped in his car with the windows up and the heat outside is excruciating so a good Samaritan can try breaking the window only to be pulled right in. So much fun!!! Sometimes, he'll even steal a singer's skin and pretend to be them so his hypnosis can easily reach bigger crowds with less effort on his part. Think the movie smile with how he invades them and their effects.

I like to think his human skin disguise's fc looks like st chroma. Just for fun.

Soundwave being able to turn others into his new cassettes is something soundblaster loves to do, and most of the time he forgets he even did it. He loves melding machine and man. He has a dog mech instead of a cat mech, with a human face melted on it. A mix of human teeth and fangs. It used to be a - eh, he doesn't remember. Maybe it was a little girl, at one point. He thinks he got the inspiration from an anime he watched. He likes anime.

His tapedeck is fucking abhorrent. He keeps his skinsuits in there. His cassettes strain and shake, but he always hypnotizes them obedient .

He has a mouth, but the mask doesn't cover directly on it. The mouth is where his chin would be, and from a direct angle, can't be seen until he tilts his helm high up and can even snap it back so the face is dangling on the other side. The mouth has various teeth of various kinds (human, monster, mech, alien, etc) inside, and eyes are everywhere, blinking gums, bloodshot cavern, even on the teeth themselves, since his helm is snapped so far behind him. They don't blink, which is why the tongue is so long, helping to coat them with moisture

Unknown if he has an actual face behind his mask or not.

I think he should have a mini friendship / pls don't kill me sb with bee like he did in the Netflix tf bcs bee is someone whose thoughts DO NOT and cannot match his actual actions bcs theyre selfish and kinda rude and bee cannot allow himself to be Imperfect or the autobot cause and optimus's reputation would be ruined. HES supposed to be their shining light, their hope. If their hope is awful, then what does that say about the cause. I think soundwave and bee are very interesting together in general, but that's another talk another day. But yeah, i think bee feels terrible for sb but also is terrified of him, but bee can't just abandon him . Not like everyone else. Bee CANT be like everyone else, he HAS to better. ...don't tell anyone he thinks that tho- he just wants it implied a little- he just has to be perfect not bcs hes secretly selfish and mean but um! U guys just kinda suck! OOPS, UM. HE MEANS. he'll just distract them by being cute or smthing... & meanwhile soundblaster is watching like 'you're mentally ill. ...I Like That. '

This is how soundblaster talks and views bee, LOL. He just keeps him alive bcs hes entertained by his trauma that bee pretends he doesn't have, which makes it all the more entertaining. I just think the dynamic would be rlly funny, not even in a shipping sense, but a I just think they would be funny sense.

Bee: i mean .. i can't help but feel bad for shockwave.. he used to be a senator.. a Good senator.. he was so kind.. empurata- it's really awful.. he looks so different now.. it must have been so painfu-

SB: WOMP WOMP :P !

Bee:

Bumblebee: ...did you just say Womp Womp to Empurata-

LIKE. i think soundblaster is so fucked up and can be even more fucked up if they just explored him more to really distinguish him but also keep that soundwave association haunting him bcs that mech is Never getting rid of it. I think even if he gets damaged and tries getting repairs, his spark turns down any parts that Don't resemble soundwave's, hence why he has skinsuits to slither into to make himself feel like he can finally relieve himself of soundwave's shadow. Hypnosis doesnt work on him, not even his own. All the mirrors are immediately broken wherever he goes. He's an ill cretin who is also very funny to me. He loves to dance and sing while torturing and is very good at it! But he's also. Awful.

He can't feel, but he can feel some sort of peculiar tie to his cassettes, mainly so he can know their location Wherever they go. He likes to purposefully dispatch his army into losing battles with terrible odds so he can feel their cries shudder from within his spark and that low hidden mouth Grins. And if they end up somehow surviving and winning, then he guesses that's good too, or whatever :/

Bumblebee would be the perfect we have to do good straight man to soundblaster with how compassionate he is.. and soundblaster would be perfect in demonstrating bee's desperation to be liked when bee mistakes soundblaster's tolerance of bee being a good distraction for fondness.. like. Tf could do so much more with sb than just a clone.. bee would be a good big character to help get others familiar with SB !!! LIKE! UGH! THERES JUST SO MUCH POTENTIAL WITH SOUNDBLASTER!!!!! but also transformers is trying to appeal to a younger audience to get new tf fans and keep it alive so i don't think we'll get the soundblaster depth i dream of... if we get more of him at all.. but still.. a m&m can Dream ..

if the name Mr. Blonde from reservoir dogs rings any bells, that's who i associate with Soundblaster as well as orcas to help understand his personality better, to conclude my yap !!!

ANYWAYS!!!! THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS WEIRD THING SM!!! SILLY GUY!!!! MY EMO WIFE!!!! WE NEED SO MUCH MORE OF THIS SILLY GUYYY URGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! URE SO RIGHT! PLS ANON I LOVE U FOR ASKING ME THIS! SRRY THIS IS SO LONG! I THINK IMIGHTVE FORGOTTEN SOME THINGS BUT YEA HERES MY YAP FOR NOW !!!

[blacklegsanjiii]

i absolutely adore your young sanji au!! If you don't mind, could you write more about him? Like, how did the other crews that know him react to his actual age? Or even some random interactions between the straw hats after finding out!

I'M TRYING TO BE ALIVE AGAIN I PROMISE I AM SO SORRY

Young!Sanji!!! Ahh, lovely boy, precious and soft and absolutely hating everyone find out how old he actually is. He feels no one takes him seriously after they find out. They always falter and stumble and it just...doesn't feel good to him?

I feel like Law finding out would full on make him trip and face plant into the ground because Robin probably mentions it off handedly but knowingly. She knows Sanji doesn't like Law calling him Stealth Black and this seems to be the quickest way for her to stop it. Sanji is walking ahead of them to a tea house somewhere while they're in Wano. Like she specifically phrases it in a way to show how cruel Judge is and when Law full stumbles it makes Sanji look and ask what's wrong. Law is stumbling up onto his feet and is confused and asks Sanji if he's really /seventeen/ and Sanji says he is with a shrug. Law knows he's not the youngest on the crew but understands because of his love of the Sora comics that they were closer to the truth than he had realized, even after the raid suit. Germa was far worse than he knew to even its own children. When they're sat and drinking tea, Law can't help but ask why he is physically not seventeen. Sanji just goes 'ahaha, that's Germa for you' and Law is reeling that the cook is also a child on the crew. Law doesn't really change how he acts with the cook though, he doesn't see his age, only his accomplishments which are numerable even if he was twenty one, he just admires the guy more now.

Sanji is not pleased at how people keep trying to baby him after finding out how old he is and how his family is, the rescue team is especially bad. Chopper keeps asking for more and more check ups on him and Sanji is trying to just deal with it, Zoro seems to be holding back during their spars when he doesn't have to be, when they're out at a bar he keeps stealing Sanji's drinks even though he's not even buzzed yet and Zoro hates wine. Zoro, for the life of him he doesn't want to view the cook differently, but finding out about the experiments and how young Sanji was when he went through everything that led him to Zeff makes him softer. He fucking hates it but he feels like he needs to give the cook an actual chance at being a child that was denied to him. Even if he didn't get a chance he and the other kids at the dojo did play as well as train, especially when they were younger, before he left and he plays with Luffy and Chopper all the time. So when he assists Robin and Nami with the cook and making the guy take breaks. He's started doing the dishes fully on his own and shoving the cook out of the kitchen after meals.

I feel like when Zeff found out his kid wasn't ten, his kid is six and looks ten. Zeff frowns deeply at the boy who acts like a ten year old in a lot of ways, most ways, a fucked up and traumatized one albeit, but he's still ten. Except he's not and Sanji's age really shows when people flirt or try to take him to their ships for activities more fitting for an adult or teenager. Except he's not one of those, he's twelve when someone first propositions him and Zeff loses it at the customer and talks to Sanji about what they're doing, what people want from him and that he gets to decide if he wants to or not. Because Sanji is physically four years older than he actually is and Zeff wants to kill the fucking bastard that did this to the kid. Zeff knows his kid is younger than he looks but he treats the boy like how he holds himself, he's smart, impulsive, thinks he owes his life to Zeff when he doesn't. Goddammit Zeff wants him to act like a damn kid but the kid doesn't want to! Kid feels like he can't because the kid needs to be useful so on the rare nights the Baratie is closed Zeff and the others will take the kid out to the upper deck or the top of the restaurant and teach him the constellations and if the kid falls asleep it's all the better.

The kid will never act his real age, but he has people to make sure he's taken care of. That's more than enough for Sanji.

[tirfpikachu]

i have high empathy for transfems who face often horrific bigotry that i'll never face, and that only some post-transition ofab people have faced, even then only conditionally and not in the exact same way. i have seen someone i love face anti-transfem bigotry and it broke my heart. i want to give a voice to all victims of gncphobic violence and the transfems who actively face misogyny irl have my shoulder to cry on anytime. the transfem experience is complex.

but i have ZERO fucking tolerance for any transfem who believes in the "cotton ceiling" r-pe apologist, predator-enabling rhetoric. and it is hitting the ofab members of the lgbtq community the hardest.

if a fellow ofab/female person believes in that, i'll talk to them, try to reach them. often they end up confessing that they're ofab4ofab too but deeply ashamed, or they'll talk about a predatory encounter they had or how the rhetoric never fully sat right with them but they wanted to be good allies. but for transfems who benefit from shaming ofab people who don't want to fuck them, or sitting by while others like them do that shit, not speaking up, deeply benefiting from a class of people who will grit their teeth and date them despite their clear lack of attraction, or they'll at least feel deep shame and try to conversion therapize themselves into being into both ofab and omab people, hiding their homosexuality (in the og sense of the word) and never truly embracing their culture as homosexual gays, forever ashamed? fuck that. if you're into people regardless of their sex/agab, you don't fucking understand what it's like. if you're not ofab, you're not facing the blunt of the repercussions of this rhetoric. you NEED to use your voice as a transfem to call this shit out. please. and we as ofab people need to completely stop tolerating this behavior.

you can say all day til your face turns blue that no one is forcing anyone to date transfems, but you're still only accepting some forms of gayness and viewing others as close-minded. peer pressure isn't always someone saying "you're a piece of shit for not doing this." it very often is just "well it's okay in your case because xyz, but you should make sure to unlearn transmisogyny and heal your traumas if you have any, and then try to look at transfems while remembering they're real women, it'll help!" which is also a way to brainwash people into feeling deep awful guilt for their wonderfully natural sexuality that has been oppressed for many, many centuries. in this case, inaction is leading to great harm. greater than you think. the stories i have heard are fucking heartbreaking and unacceptable. if transfems speaking up against this can save even one more victim, it'll be incredibly worth it. and beyond that, it'll greatly lower the amount of anti-transfem sentiment in feminist circles (in case you only care if it affects transfem rights, as some have full-on admitted to my face in the past). we need to weed out this bullshit before things escalate into worse and worse situations. you might think it's no big deal. you might not be directly affected by it. you might think that up on your big high horse, you're doing better activism for not wasting your time with ofab people feeling pressured to date. but if you hate predators, if you hate bigotry, there's literally no way around it. this issue keeps worsening in pretty horrifying ways. everybody should be concerned. and it leads to people who feel unheard going down the blackpill route as well, losing all hope in the lgbtq movement. some even end up in rightwing spaces. if you care about gay people, you need to care about ALL gay people. if you care about victims, you need to care about ALL victims. your inaction now has a real body count. all gay sexualities are fantastic and worth celebrating! it doesn't mean trans women can't live as women and date ofab people, passing as a lesbian couple and having lesbian experiences. it just means that you cannot shame someone for having a gayness based on sex/agab. it means you need to learn that not all gay experiences include you, just like how not all transfem experiences include transfem-passing transmasc people. there's creeps around who are using this as an excuse. i have met many, and i have talked to many survivors. they may be a handful in a sea of transfems, but predators need to be fucking exterminated at all costs. you need to speak tf up. now.

[tossawary]

This is going to come up in "Some Unknown Corner", but I don't know how explicitly it'll come up, like, terminology-wise, so... saying it more explicitly here if you want to try and look out for this detail in coming chapters. Minor spoilers for a character issue that will become a later plot point.

I'm going to try to explore Yue Qingyuan having claustrophobia, specifically a fear of being shut in underground spaces in particular. This man has wild amounts of willpower and will generally refuse to be vulnerable, so he does NOT let on to this fact in obvious ways, even when forced to be underground temporarily, but he HATES the experience. On the edge of a panic attack, feeling like he's dying, still smiling pleasantly somehow.

Yue Qi goes back into the Ling Xi Caves with Shen Jiu as disciples in one of the Qijiu extras. In this case, I think he was a little fearful (not irrationally, honestly) of something bad happening to Shen Jiu, so he forced himself to be there despite the fact that he hated being there the entire time. (My general headcanon is that Yue Qi genuinely doesn't remember huge chunks of his confinement due to the trauma of it all.) By the time he's the sect leader, over ten years later, he's calmed down enough to let Shen Yuan go in there alone to cultivate. (Maybe Shen Qingqiu threw him out another time later down the line as disciples.)

In SVSSS, Yue Qingyuan goes into the Ling Xi Caves again, I believe, in order to get stronger and potentially get Shen Qingqiu's body back from Luo Binghe. When Luo Binghe invades Cang Qiong, Yue Qingyuan has apparently hastily had to exit seclusion at a delicate time. Was he trying to heal the Xuan Su sword issue as much as possible? Are visits to the Ling Xi Caves a regular medical treatment for him? Why didn't he go into the Ling Xi Caves to get stronger / potentially heal his broken relationship with his sword any earlier? I'm imagining Yue Qingyuan honestly having to force himself to go cultivate alone through a fairly serious phobia, and Mu Qingfang being generally against it, because it seems more like Yue Qingyuan might accidentally work himself up into a terrified, traumatized episode of some kind and die due to another qi deviation.

Being at Mai Gu Ridge sucked for many reasons. It sucked for everyone, really.

Yes, Yue Qi having claustrophobia does make his being blinded in "Some Unknown Corner" worse. (He's holding steady (barely) based on being able hear other people around him + smells + Shen Jiu's touch.) He's really not having a fun time! He's a practical guy and he really doesn't like panicking, so he is SHOVING IT OUT OF MIND, which is not great. I already view Yue Qi as disabled in SVSSS canon due to the Xuan Su sword issue, and the story keeps putting him in positions (sect leader) where he cannot "afford" to be disabled (he has to try to save everyone else), and it is continuously fucking him up. He needs some real rest so, SO badly.

[freakingxloser]

Mickey Altieri - nsfw alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Mickey will definitely help you to get clean and cuddle with you afterwards. Will talk about it for sure, ask you if you are okay and if you enjoyed it as well. But that’s gonna happen only if you guys are actually dating and he cares about you. If you are a random one night stand just for his pleasure, he would just get dressed and leave, not giving a damn about how you feel. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part on himself is definitely gonna be his arms. He is aware of his strength (we all saw how he yeeted the girl out of the balcony lmao). Knows how to use it while killing and in his love life as well, holding you in place, or grabbing you by your hips and pulling you closer, wrapping his arms around your body…All about them. 

When it comes to you, I can definitely see that Mickey is a fan of thighs. Loves to see them jiggle, while your whole legs are shaking after a rough session of yours. Mickey loves to play with them, grab on them…or having his head buried in-between them…

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Mickey loves to cum inside you, doesn’t matter if it’s your mouth or your pussy…but actually prefers more to cum in your mouth. It’s the best way to avoid any kind of pregnancy scares plus he absolutely loves when you swallow his load, praises you for it afterwords. He enjoys the view of having his cum spilled all over your tongue. He 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Mickey is extremely jealous and possessive. He hates when other guys even look at you. Doesn’t hesitate to even kill them if they dare to talk to you or even worse…touch you. That drives him absolutely crazy, so he just kills them. Then he may or may not use the same knife during your knife play sessions. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I mean…Mickey is on college. I don’t think he has a lots of experience, but definitely slept with some girls before…so I would just day that he definitely knows what he’s doing. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy for sure. Mickey loves to pound you from behind, the sound when his hips hit your ass, loves to slap your ass or grabbing you by your hair while he mercilessly thrusts into you. Or even surprise you with fingering your ass while already destroying your pussy…you’ll never know. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He definitely doesn’t crack jokes, but will definitely mock you if you cannot even form a proper words during your session. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Mickey definitely keeps himself trimmed down there. But not shaved completely. If you make him do it, be prepared for lots of bitching about it being itchy and uncomfortable. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Don’t expect any rose petals or candles, that’s not his thing. Mickey will shower you praises, having a slow sensual missionary with you, having an eye contact with you or his lips never leaving yours, but not any stereotypical romantic shit. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t jack off when he has you. Why would he? He simply grabs you and fucks you whenever he wants to. Even when he needs you immediately. He will drag you into an empty classroom and bend you over the desk if he really needs it. No needs to masturbate if it’s that easy, right? 

K = Kinks

My man is definitely into blood and knife play. None can tell me otherwise. Consensual non consent is on his mind really often as well. Would absolutely love to just sneak into your room and take you there without saying a word. Mickey is also for sure into somnophilia, it only makes sense imo. And I think Mickey is really into menophilia, he likes period sex and it absolutely drives him crazy, when he can go down on you during your period. Even when you protest, the little sparkle in his eyes when he suggests so makes you allow it to him. He goes really wild down there, licking all of the blood, sucking on your clit, fingering you…licking his fingers clean afterwards, yep…that definitely sounds like Mickey. 

L =  Location (favorite places to do the do)

He definitely prefers your or his bedroom, doesn’t like public places with a risk of getting caught. Mickey doesn’t want anyone to see your beautiful body, that’s why. When he really needs to fuck you during classes, he makes sure all the door are secured and none can actually get in. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Basically anything you wear, that at least a little reveals your thighs turns him on. Or when you walk around your room just in your shirt and underwear when he visits you…yep honey, you won’t get him off of you for hours. Also when he sees that you are needy, he is immediately ready to take you…of course you won’t avoid any teasing, of course he would mock you, tease your clit for ages, not allowing you to cum at first, but no worries, he would make you cum several times after he is done with teasing and mocking. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Mickey is okay with blood, cum or saliva. But other body fluids? Hell no. That’s a big no for him. 

O =  Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) 

He enjoys both, giving and receiving. Of course he enjoys having you on your knees, seeing you playing with his tip in your mouth and sucking on him…and once he has enough of you just playing around forcing his cock deeper in your mouth and making you gag on it, making your eyes all teary is something he could do 24/7. But going down on you, sucking on your clit, licking you, making you cum numerous times just with his mouth is something that brings him pleasure as well. (Especially during your period, but loves to do it even when you’re not.) 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

As we read many times above, Mickey loves it rough and merciless. But our man gets that it’s not just about the speed, but also about the force. He can also have a slow, sensual session with you, but that doesn’t happen often, it’s really rare. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Mickey likes to take his time with you, but if you both are under a time pressure, he is up to it. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

If he has some interesting fantasy, he will for sure include it in your sex life, at least for once. When it comes to taking risk then no, he definitely doesn’t want you to get caught, he doesn’t want anyone else to see your beautiful body. And when it comes to pregnancy risks, also no. He makes sure that you are on the pill or has a plan b ready for you…but spilling his cum all over your tongue is just as satisfying, so he tends to do that more to avoid the risk. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Mickey is a college dude, of course he can fuck like a rabbit. All the time and each round gets longer and longer. He can fuck you for hours, until you feel tired and cannot take it anymore. But he would definitely continue after you falling asleep (with your consent, if he loves/likes you…if you are just a random girl, well…he won’t bother with consent).

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I cannot see Mickey using a big variety of them, but ropes, handcuffs or anal toys that he would use on you? Hell yeah. But from what he could deduce from the movie…I can positively say that his fav “toy“ is a knife…

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh, Mickey would tease the shit out of you…especially if you were teasing him whole day at school. He won’t stop until you beg him to finally do something. But this motherfucker loves to hear you beg, so…it’s gonna take you a lot of begging until he actually gives you what you want. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Mickey is not really loud, just when he gets closer and closer to his orgasm. Of course there is a lot of heavy breathing going on, but more he focuses on those lovely noises you make. Mickey absolutely loves to hear you moan or whimper, or hearing your little sobs while you are overstimulated and cannot take it anymore…oh he would die for those. 

W =  Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Mickey wants to know everyone that you are his. He is for sure obsessed with you. So because of that, he leaves marks on you. Sometimes its just random bites or hickeys on you neck, other days it’s bruises…or his name craved into your skin. Loves to just carve his name into your thighs or ass and lick your bloody wounds clean, since his obsession with blood is slightly getting out of hand too. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I think Mickey is slightly above average, definitely thicker… definitely pleasurable. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Mickey has a HIGH sex drive, okay? Probably not higher than desire to go on a killing spree, but still��Mickey would fuck whole day every day if he could. Sometimes during weekends he just refuses to let you leave the bed. When you get up after one round of lazy morning sex, thinking that you’re gonna have as shower and then do something productive, but Mickey is already behind you, making sure you have the right company in the shower, playing with your pussy, gently rubbing your clit, before pushing you against the shower wall and pounding into you again…I do not need to tell you what happens after shower, right?

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As I said before…If he cares about you, he will make sure that you’re okay, cuddle with you, talk to you and then fall asleep. But If he doesn’t, he just passes out or leaves you immediately. 

[moregraceful]

I've been seeing a lot of discussion on here about curating your dashboard and it's been reminding me of an excellent van @puckpocketed post on mutuals. I think we need to kind of get away from the idea that you HAVE to follow your friends or you're a bad friend, or you have to stay mutuals with someone, even though they post stuff that rips you up, because otherwise you're a bad friend. I just don't think that's true?

Maybe coming at it from a Silicon Valley conspiracy theorist perspective where I feel like the concept of mutuals was invented by social media companies to refine your algorithm in a way that makes them more money, but I feel like...idk it's not true that you have to follow your friends on social media or you're a bad friend? If you're truly friends, following or unfollowing won't matter so much. Like blogging =/ blogger as Van correctly points out...I don't follow people that I have loving and friendly relationships with because they make posts that annoy me. But I don't think that makes us less friends? I know their hearts, I think of them highly, that their posts that annoy me don't mean they annoy me as a person overall. Like Tumblr is a very limited view of who someone is. It's not a reflection of all of a person, it's a reflection of what they choose to share with the world and sometimes what they share just isn't what I'm feeling at the moment.

Idk I think curating your Internet experience doesn't just mean blocking tags, sometimes it means knowing that your friends are annoying as fuck on Tumblr but you still love them and then hitting that unfollow button. I have people I talk to regularly who don't follow me bc my posts are annoying to them and I don't think that makes us less friendly? All it means is that they don't want to see my posts. I have a friend I talked to weekly, sometimes daily, for like over a year and we didn't follow each other for ages.

Following people is value neutral, you know? Like again, the posts are not the poster. maybe your friends tag badly, maybe they post too much about something you hate, maybe they just present themselves in a way that is so annoying, but that doesn't make you worse friends. Sometimes the posting vibes just don't align and I think that's okay?

[cyberphuck]

The Patreon Post

SO HERE'S THE DEAL: I do not want to make anyone have to pay to see my art.

Let's be real: there are like fifty bajillion other, more skilled, and better-known artists on Patreon putting out more detailed, more unique, more in-demand, and just more art than I am (or want to). I'm a self-taught, frequently distracted amateur who's had an iPad for a year. I'm not gonna pretend that I am going to be able to pull in more Patreon subs-- or keep them, for that matter-- on the strength of my random doodles alone. I have never really thought or even hoped that I could do that, because it would mean Doing Art As A Job, and I absolutely do not want to associate "drawing" with "work." (I also don't have the means, time, motivation or experience to self-promote and/or keep a small community of followers entertained, and even the thought of having to do all that on top of having to Draw For Work is terrifying.) There's the self esteem-destroying gutpunch that someone with BPD (me haha!) receives when they ask if something they created is "worth" a certain amount and are answered with silence. (If you have BPD, you know that 'silence' is so much worse than 'no.') I don't think that anyone is actually saying my work is worthless any more than I think stairs were invented to fuck over people with bad knees, but I want to avoid one for the same reason I avoid the other: hurts and bad for healing. And also, maybe most importantly, most of the fans of my work are my friends, and most of my friends are poor people. I do not ever want someone to have to choose between "Eggman weeping as he cradles a slain Speedy Gonzales" and "rent." Lots of people I know just don't have any money to spare even for professionally made entertainment, or, like me, sometimes they have money (yay, beginning of the month!) and sometimes they don't (booo, end of the month). I'm not gonna put a paywall between my friends and my art. So, as always, you can view all of my art on Patreon for free, without an account*. (*you will have to have an account to view NSFW stuff but this will be in the 'free' tier as well.) H O W E V E R. You guys I am so fucking poor. If you follow my blog you know the whole story already-- mental illness, chronic illness, chronic mental illness, surprise rescue puppies, surprise fines from the city, the fukken recently concussed clown show that is social services in my area-- and you've seen me having to crowdfund for everything from food to gas to dog emergencies. We budget down to the cent and have cut out so many things (like the meal replacement shakes for my eating disorder lol) and we're still not making ends meet. I've got friends who help, and they help a lot, but I hate the miserable, humiliating task of asking for help every single month. (You guys also know that I don't have family that can help me, even if shit goes critical. I was on my own while I was a homeless sex worker, on my own when we lived in a shed with no windows, on my own when we were in a house with no heat and only one source of running water, and definitely on my own now, in desperate need of mobility aids, house cleaners, and a god damn break.)

So here's where I'm at: I can't ask a few people for a lot of support, but I can ask a bunch of people for a little bit. If you like my art and want to help me keep making it, want to help me make shitpost replies to people on the internet, want to help me do free askbox art challenges: Put your doodle prompt requests in the askbox. You can even request stuff anonymously! Participate in polls about what prompts you wanna see. Reblog the art you like, show off the doodle you got, leave keysmashes in the tags. The more people see the post, the more statistically likely it is we'll find the one person on Tumblr with disposable income. Also, people should know they can get free art when the prompts are live! Sub to the Patreon if you can spare three bucks a month (you can also do Ko-fi if you don't want to make a Patreon account). Ko-fi is also a good place to just plunk something into the tip jar once in a while. There are Artcards and Monthly Sketch sub tiers on Patreon for a little bit more, but I will send an Artcard to pretty much anyone who asks as long as I have some left. The art is free, it will always be free. But if you can, spare a dollar (or three).

[xclowniex]

I just need to rant about Youssef Haddad for a moment cause I’ve been thinking about this a lot and you said you accept random ramblings. Just to start off, I don’t agree with quite a bit of the stuff he says, but I also don’t want to dive into a judgment of his politics and the way he presents them or whatever. So onto the main point— I think the reason so many people hate Youssef so much is because he is very Arab and very Israeli. That’s kind of obvious, but I want to elaborate

Like, I think a lot of radical leftists, Hamasniks, anti-Israels, whatever you want to call them, think of Arab Israelis as just living in Israel, not seeing themselves as Israeli or as Israel being their home and country. This is just the place they’ve ended up in for whatever reasons. Which is an experience that definitely exists, and it’s completely fine, but it’s also not the experience of a lot of other Arabs in Israel. Youssef Haddad is so undeniably Israeli, like you can just tell that Israel is his county and that he’s proud of that. And that makes a lot of people very angry

It’s that cognitive dissonance, the fact that so many people have built their image of Arabs being completely incompatible with Israel. So they see an Arab man who is also Israeli, and it’s not out of convenience or anything like that, he just genuinely is Israeli, and they just can’t compartmentalise that information with the ideology they’ve already built. But they can’t change any of their views on Israel, no, that would make them an evil imperialist apartheid Jew loving Zionist apologist! So instead the only thing they can do is become fucking enraged

Youssef Haddad makes them so mad because he’s not a token to them. He’s an Arab man who isn’t ashamed of being Arab (ffs he’s not a ‘blood traitor’ for being Israeli, you sound like a white supremacist), but he’s useless to them. He’s worse than useless, he’s actively a problem to their one dimensional, Jew hating ideology that refuses to stop fetishising Arabs and Arab struggles. And that’s the thing about tokenisation— it only lasts as long as you’re useful. As soon as you don’t fit the cutout stereotype they’ve built for you to try to contort yourself into, they not only toss you away, but they hate you with vitriol. It’s why I genuinely can’t see any of these people actually caring about Arabs (and Palestinians especially). When the only reason you advocate for a group is so that you can fetishise and tokenise them, then maybe you’re not really advocating for them after all

As soon as you don’t fit the cutout stereotype they’ve built for you to try to contort yourself into, they not only toss you away, but they hate you with vitriol.

100% this. Its why people think that Drake can no longer call himself black or Taika Waititi Maori. Your ethnicity only matters if it can be weaponized

It’s why I genuinely can’t see any of these people actually caring about Arabs (and Palestinians especially). When the only reason you advocate for a group is so that you can fetishise and tokenise them, then maybe you’re not really advocating for them after all

Also 100% this.

[fadeling]

helia week ✨ 04

if you noticed that i missed yesterday then no you didnt

day one | day two | day three

🌻 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 🌻

16. How did the Warden feel about the Anvil of the Void?

if you remember the last post where I talked about Helia's reaction to the archdemon for the first time and how it rips away all hope she didn't know she had, you probably won't be surprised to hear that this was the only time she struggled with doing the right thing. had a crisis of faith, you could say. (not religiously, just for her moral code)

because. on its face having golems seems reaaaallly fucking good for defence and power. there's even a whole aspect where people can sign up for it, it doesn't seem too different from the wardens in theory? but in practice she even hates the wardens, and when she looks at the avil and asks herself if theres a place for it in her ideal world... the answer is simply no. if there isn't a place for it then it shouldnt be used now and certainly not again. to use it validates its existence

if the world can't exist without things like the anvil, then the world is probably better off ending. but it's hard to destroy it and not feel like she's damned it, for better or worse

17. What was the Warden's reaction to seeing Shianni in the Temple of Sacred Ashes?

It Probably has more impact when The Tortured One is still alive and you can just have this conversation irl, but it was still kind of nice in its own way. I guess at that point Helia still hadn't gotten to see Shianni again, and at that time it very was possible she never would see her again. so I think the construct taking her form would be a larger representation of the family she had to leave. not being able to protect them, or protect them well enough, and then quietly confessing in front of her companions that she does hold that kind of regret in her heart. that may come as a surprise to them

it's definitely more of a personal spiritual experience but it probably frames things for when she finally does get to meet them again

18. How did the Warden feel about the Ashes? Are they religious or do they not care? And did they defile it or not?

I think Helia’s religious views are similar to Alistair’s but with the extra wrinkle that it's very important to people that elves are worshipping the maker and not the gods they’re barely allowed to even know about. It’s always been hard for her to put her whole heart into it, especially when she's aware there's an older religion out there cultivated by what Should be her people. Sometimes she’d like to believe, but the Maker as presented by the chantry is stifling and is much more interested in keeping her in line.

Andraste isn't complicated like that, though. At least not in the same way. When she's used as a symbol for oppression, she still existed as a woman who liberated. Remembering that makes it easy to worship HER if nothing else.

Regarding the ashes themselves, she was obviously willing to believe they existed somewhere. She was a real woman, so it stands to reason there could be ashes. The idea that she'd find them seemed asinine though, Helia only committing to it because they were kind of out of options.

But then there was Haven, then the temple and its trials. by the end andraste's ashes were there, right in front of her. I think she was already moved by the trials but actually looking upon them was something else. Even without the Maker, there’s something truly holy and reverent about her resting place... i think she offered a small prayer in thanks to the woman it belonged to, that it's her values she hopes to live by.

It was an honor to find it, and even more of an honor to take a piece of them. it's hard not to feel that she wasn't there, guiding her in some way to offer a sign of support. she doesn't really vocalize that feeling, though. after the experience with the archdemon it's certainly comforting

btw Eamon has no idea how lucky he is smh i hate that guy

19. Who are the people in camp that the Warden is closest with and why?

Mfw im about to list half the damn companions

Alistair is the big one of course. He’s a good-natured man in a way she hadn’t seen before. Duncan behaved well, sure, but I’ve already been over the issues she had with him. Ostagar was full of people being casually racist AND sexist which was pretty cool, so it was even more isolating. Then she meets this guy and the first thing he does is wrap her into a conversation, interested in her as a person and truly meeting her as if they were equals. Not that he’s perfect or that she wasn’t a little wary, but he felt genuine and kind. There’s no other warden she’d rather be stuck saving Ferelden with, and she means that with her whole heart. it's sad to know that he wishes he was the one who died as ostagar instead.

Morrigan is my girl best friend. I think they get along really easily since they have similar philosophies except Helia is like “i think love and support is good actually” and it breaks Morrigan irrevocably. Morrigan obviously comes off as shady, but Helia can’t help but trust her immediately. Duncan will never reveal his true intentions if it gets them where they need to go, but even when she’s duplicitous Morrigan doesn’t operate in the same way. She can’t help it she’s just simply too authentic. I like to think they’re both very protective of each other in their own ways

Leliana is my other girl best friend. She really understands the thrill and fun of being a rogue and she tells some awesome stories. They’re both very different in how they interface with the world, but they’re genuinely just compatible. Not much else to say. leliana teaches her how to use bows more effectively and utilize courtly intrigue should she ever need it

Zevran has the other half of Helia’s similarities. It’s like we’re lowkey twins haha yay. both of them are rogues who use daggers, are elves, have a face tattoo, and grew up with a fixation on the dalish. Helia treats him like a brother and i think it didn’t take very long for him to genuinely click into a similar vibe with her. Makes the idea of alistair getting jealous with how much Helia and Zevran relate to each other really funny

bloodkin is her mabari and hes a very special doggie! !!!!!!!!!

20. Is there anyone in camp who they do not like? Why?

Nah. She enjoys Oghren’s company the least but he’s ultimately harmless and kind of a pathetic animal so its ok. she doesn't interact with people more seriously than they're willing to interact with her, so she finds it pretty easy to tolerate him and pliantly go along with his bits. but i do think she really pities him and feels quite badly for him. sometimes she's lucky to get the odd genuine moment, and she hopes that one day he'll find himself comfortable in this world

[avocado-writing]

Omggg i hear your requests are open again??? Yayyy so excited so excited. I’ve been thinking ab smth angsty with Crowley where the reader has serious abandonment issues and Crowley accidentally triggers them. I would love it to be angsty but fluffy at the end bc I don’t want Crol to be sad :(

Tysm and i hope you have a fucking great week💕✨

notes: a phenomenal meme, thank you. I hope reader seems in character enough for abandonment issues!

pairing: crowley x reader

rating: T

He’s gone, and you’re worried it’s forever.

He’s had to go and do some work. Some demon work. When the two of you properly began getting together he had to tell you about his true nature; you were surprised and secretly a bit thrilled because, well, how many people have a demon in love with them? It made you feel very special indeed. And Crowley does love you so very deeply, you’ve never had a love like it before. Which made it sting all the worse when he had to go.

You were bickering about him leaving. He had to go to bloody Spain to perform some sort of temptation, and he knew you couldn’t get the time off work to come with him. You were begging him to stay, he was insisting he couldn’t, and as neither of you could see the other’s point of view voices began to get raised. It ended with him leaving you in your flat, slamming the door behind him in frustration.

You’ve not seen him for a week. It’s been driving you mad. He’s gone, hasn’t he? He’s gone forever. Just like every other person who’s walked into your life with claims that they love you only to disappear when things got difficult. You are unloveable, you are not worthy of anyone’s time. You do not deserve to experience anything other than heartbreak.

When he comes home he knows he’ll need to apologise. It doesn’t come easily to Crowley, admitting that he’s wrong, but he’ll find a way to force it out of himself for your sake. He shouldn’t have left how he did. It was unkind. Petty. A relationship shouldn’t be about trying to get the last word in an argument, and he feels very small indeed.

He knocks at the door to your flat and, when it isn’t answered, he miracles the lock open and walks in. Maybe he can get started on dinner. Maybe coming home to the smell of cooking and him being all grovelly will make things better.

This plan is stopped in its tracks when he finds you curled up in a blanket on the sofa. You look terrible. Tired, miserable, and ever so small. You take one look at him and recoil.

“What do you –”

“I’m sorry,” Crowley says. It’s not forced or uncomfortable as it usually is when he’s made to apologise, but sincere. An apology is not a plaster, though, and you still look raw and wounded as he sits on the opposite end of the couch. You wince as he reaches out to touch you.

“I thought you weren’t coming back,” is all the explanation that you can muster.

“Oh, darling. I’m…” he wracks his brain for something that’s a suitable apology, but can come up with nothing better than another “I’m sorry.”

Tears begin to fall down your cheeks and you seem furious at them, wiping them away with the edge of your blanket, but still unable to get them to stop.

“I thought you were done with me. That you hated me.”

“Come here,” says Crowley, bundling you in his arms and pulling you onto his lap. You cry a little, at him, at yourself, at being so stupid. “I don’t hate you. I’d never hate you. I think it’s impossible, actually. I was just being a twat. I’ll even do the dance if you want me to.”

You laugh into his shirt and he’s relieved.

“No, keep that dance for Aziraphale. I think he’d be annoyed if he found out you did it for me.”

You look into his eyes, and he moves his sunglasses up so he can meet your gaze properly.

“Don’t leave me,” you whisper, voice trembling a little.

“I won’t. I swear.”

Taglist: @angiestopit @dazed-soul @foolishprincipalitee @smile-eywa @staygoldsquatchling02 @underratedboogeyman @specter-soltare @cool-ontherun-world @emilynissangtr @willbedecided @cool-iguana @this--is--music @ilyatan @lxsm2 @clarina04@wtfhasmy-lifecometo @mrgatotortuga@wereallbrokenangels @night-affiliate @kimqueenofhell @chewbrry @bajablast23 @h3k3t @am-i-obsessed---maybe @bakerstreethound

[silvermoon424]

Hi Katy! How are you? I hope you're having a good day.

I was wondering if you knew what's going with r/sailormoon?

I guess people have gotten fed up with the mods or something? I've posted on that subreddit in the past, so I know the mods can be rude (to say the least).

Most of the posts pertaining to this situation seem to have been removed.

Hey! I'm good, thank you! Hope you're doing well too.

Wow, okay, I had NO idea what was going on and had to do some digging. The information is very sparse but I think I was able to piece together what happened:

A few days ago, a popular artist posted a 3D artwork of Neo-Queen Serenity to r/sailormoon. The artwork was removed because it "reeks of AI." The artist very politely messaged the mods and asked them what happened, offering to send evidence that proves her authenticity. The mods muted- and later outright banned- her. One of the mods also blocked her on Bluesky when she tagged them asking what happened.

You can read the whole thread here:

People later started sending hate to the two mods (RockyCoon and lemonaid83), which the artist denounced. It got to the point where RockyCoon decided to shut down the subreddit and step down as mod. As of right now, the r/sailormoon subreddit is shut down and will remain that way until a new mod can take over.

Okay, so time to give my opinion on this whole thing.

Right off the bat, let me say that harassment is wrong; RockyCoon and lemonaid83 should not be sent death threats over a fucking fandom subreddit.

THAT BEING SAID- I'm glad people are acknowledging what a shitty place r/sailormoon is and how awful its mods are. It sucks that the mods were harassed into it, but I'm glad they're stepping down because they really do live up to the powertripping Reddit mod stereotype. You can see people in this thread (from a smaller Sailor Moon subreddit) talking about their negative experiences with the mods.

The mods' policies and strict adherence to an arbitrary set of rules really stifles the community. The biggest example of this is the whole "no self-promotion" rule. Artists get hit with the banhammer for daring to link to their socials where people can see more of their work or commission them (because fuck artists for trying to make a living I guess). Meanwhile apparently it's fine for people to post uncredited artwork.

Okay, I gotta rant about this because it still pisses me off so much. Just a few months ago an artist posted pictures of Sailor Moon props he'd made; he makes props and other replicas for a living and they're just gorgeous. Tons of people (myself included) asked him where we can buy his work or commission him. He had to DM us all individually due to fears of being banned for self-promotion. But then the mods caught on and deleted the post anyway.

The artist and I were DMing at the time and he told me how disheartening it was to get a lot of traction for his business only for the mods to derail it because of stupid, arbitrary rules. He wasn't really a Sailor Moon fan himself (he only made the props because his wife, a Moonie, encouraged him to) and I hate how this incident must have tainted his view of the fandom.

So yeah, ANYWAY, I hope this fiasco results in r/sailormoon getting better mods and not sucking anymore. Again, I don't condone harassment, but I can't say I feel too bad for the head mod. They've been super shitty for years and actively made the Sailor Moon fandom a worse place to be in.

[androdragynous]

tell me something about your art. fucking love the recent sharp angles.

thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble I love you. kiss

this is going to be a long post but I think it's important so I'm leaving it as a normal post and not a read more

I wrote more words and changed my mind because I got distracted a bunch of times by talking to myself. Enjoy

my own works in general have always been like. The Way By Which I Interact With The World which I think is a pretty common artist experience. my fan art tended to focus on my own characters in those settings rather than on the existing characters because of that, to my younger self's chagrin at times (the desire to Appeal To Fandom was much stronger in my younger years, which I think is also pretty typical). so there was always that lens of, like, these characters aren't me, but they could have been, in some way, or at least when viewed at certain angles. first guy is dealing with the same shit, second guy is doing some gender stuff baby me won't unpack for another five years, you get the idea.

and then the whole disability thing ramped up a few notches and everything went to shit, which is to say, for a really long time there I couldn't so much as look at art without pain, let alone long enough to create it. I did not have the tools to accomodate that disability or the finances to get them, and so for a really long time I was basically cut off from... what honestly felt like my ability to connect with people.

this sucked very badly in many ways. it's still not back to where it was before things got worse, but I'm happy with where it's been recently. I don't know how much of that is connected to getting a blood transfusion and the affiliated correction to my quantity of blood. I don't know how much of it is just pure desperation to reconnect with a world that I feel estranged from. We will come back to this point because I have a different tangent first:

I really don't like vent art. I don't like making it, I don't like posting it, and I don't like seeing it. I understand why people make it - I understand why I do - but there's a very harsh rawness to it that feels inappropriate as a viewer. It's voyeuristic; it's a look into something incredibly deeply personal hurt and an equally deep and genuine desire to have that hurt seen, validified, comforted.

I do not think vent art is bad to create or share, to be clear. The fact it makes me uncomfortable does not illegitimize it. Could honestly strengthen its reason for existing, to be quite honest.

The line blurs with disability, though, and this is where we come back to the original tangent, because to talk about disability that cannot be cured will innately be seen as venting. It's basically inevitable, in my experience. You're supposed to want to get better. You're supposed to hate existing like this. So if you mention it, to people who haven't either been in the same boat or who haven't taken the time to work through their own baggage about it, it's innately a vent. It's innately a hurt that you're burdening them with, a hurt that you want recognized and helped. My family members have been particularly bad about this viewpoint, but so have friends and medical professionals. So have strangers. I find it akin to arguments against gay public displays of affection; two men holding hands is sexual, using a mobility aid is pitiable. You get me? There's that innate sense that you, as the person watching a disabled person be disabled, should be feeling something about it, and if it's not inspiration porn, obviously you're meant to be sad. If it wasn't clear, this is the description of a train of thought that I believe is entirely incorrect.

Anyways. So disability art ends up grouped as vent art if you talk about it sucking at all, even if the suck is about the barriers presented by society and not the disability itself. I can, of course, only speak for my own experience, which is what this post is about, so my situation is very much barriers-focused.

People really, really aren't good at dealing with the discomfort part, what I detailed as the emotions I feel around vent art. People don't know what to do when you don't want help, or their help doesn't help (for whatever reason), or basically in any situation where you can't actually fix things, which is a lot of Being Disabled. It's hard to sit with that discomfort, especially when it's about a person's vulnerability. People want to help others, generally, in my experience, and it's difficult to not be able to when it's someone you care about.

Which all ties back into the voyeurism; to be visibly disabled is to be a spectacle. This has also been pretty inevitable, in my experience. Being in a wheelchair draws attention. Using a cane draws attention. Wearing an eye patch draws attention. So on and so forth. Sometimes this is great - people will offer their chairs to me sometimes if I'm using my cane, for example, which I appreciate - and sometimes it is less great.

This ties in, for me, with the part people REALLY don't like talking about, which is sex and sexuality. How do you date when you can't go out to many places? How do you get to know someone when you live with others and can't invite them over? How do you look sexy when you feel and kind of look like a corpse? These are all questions I'd love to know the answers to, because I'm shit out of luck on figuring it out so far, and that's not even touching on the actual sex, because I don't want to get this post filtered if I can help it. There's a balance, right, of being visible on purpose by flirting, dressing up, going out, making an impact, that is both directly overlapping with and directly opposed to the inevitable visibility of visible disability. They juxtapose magnificently, in a kind of sun and moon during an eclipse sort of way, you get me? You have to lean into it. You have to make yourself comfortable in that visibility because it's inevitable, and you are going to inevitably be viewed as a spectacle because you've leaned into it, and you're never going to be viewed as sexual because nobody will ever distinguish that there are two kinds of visibility being done, here.

And THAT I think is where my art is at right now, trying to convey that overlap. I do not think I have been subtle about it - it's loud colors, sharp lines, layers of vandalism over the original draft, a kind of intentional obscuration that implies many others were drawn to leave their mark there. You know? But because of What It Is, I do think it causes discomfort in the overlap. It's supposed to. It's inevitable that it would. I think being disabled is overtly sexual in the way being gay is overtly sexual in the way being trans is overtly sexual, in that none of them are but none of them aren't, either, in the right contexts or the wrong ones. People are going to see you exist and come to their own conclusions about how wrong you must feel in existing, and they will be made uncomfortable by that perception, and they will want to fix you. You have to accept that or you have to be uncomfortable right back. There's not really a third option that keeps you alive. This is all connected to the art, because the art is also inherently sexual, for approximately the same reasons.

So the tldr is "op is it weird if I think this is hot" is both the intended response and yes, it is weird, and you have to sit with the fact that both of those are true and you have to be normal about it for the rest of your life forever, and also you should take that knowledge and get weirder about it. It's a complex system. I also may have described none of it. Good luck.

[centrivoid]

What's your opinion on Tankie? I think he's kinda funny and cute

Ohoho THIS is gonna be a long one, strap in!

Well, my opinion on Commie is mostly negative. I HATE this guy, but it's like a passionate hate, the kind that if he were gone, things would feel empty, because he's my favorite guy to despise.

I tend to make him worse in my HCs than he is in the show, even though he's already not great either. I think part of my dislike for him also stems from them fact that he's held up in the fandom as a good guy, when he really isn't, seeing how he's blatantly disrespectful to trans/non-binary people, and would discriminate against minorities if they didn't do as he said.

Nevermind the fact that he's a tyrant and denies the holodomor, which he caused, and also brushed off Nazi's holocaust denial. Also he runs gulags, which are basically just concentration camps & slave labor, but people seem to be mysteriously brushing over that if it's commies who do it. It's a joke then.

People have told me before that the reason they like him is because he's just desperate for a family and community, but personally, that makes me like him less.

How people can ship Leftist Unity is beyond me, when Commie repeatedly disrespects Ancom and later Ansyn. He doesn't give a shit about trans people, misgendering them simply because he can. Also, we all know damn well Commie will kill Ancom the second he doesn't need quem anymore.

I think some of it also stems from me being agender myself. I generally really hate how Ancom/Ansyn's queerness was handled in the show since no one respects quis pronouns ever, and it's more played as a joke than anything.

Fuck even the fandom doesn't respect quis pronouns at times.

People prolly think that it's not that big a deal, but for me who is incredibly protective of the self and their individual identity, disrespecting someone else's to integrate them into your homogeneous view of things is so repulsive and disgusting; it's not nessecarily the act of misgendering, even though that is bad too, but the complete disregard for individuality and identity.

I read Commie as abusive, but I've gathered that some people in the fandom really don't like that lol, I got to add onto my tally of "people online told me to kms" over it. But yes, generally I picture Commie as someone who actively infantilise Ancom and makes quem adopt this uwu uwu personality we see so often, to take away quis teeth, make them submissive, follow him around and make quem less likely to stand up for quemself against him.

There's more of course but, my personal headcanons are besides the point.

I do also use this guy to project my own personal experiences and trauma onto sooo, he has become kind of an amalgamation and caricature of my abusers.

I don't know, basically everything about Commie is so repulsive to me. I can basically only tolerate him with Nazi because they're both tyrannical scum and deserve each other.

I'm pretty big on freedom & individualism so that probably also doesn't help his case in my brain 😭

People can like Commie ofc, you can love and adore characters that are pieces of shit; I'd know so since Ancap is my second favorite character only surpassed by Ancom, but you know, I know what it's like to love a character who is fucking awful.

I guess I just wish people would acknowledge Commie's shitty behaviour more often instead of treating him like this big friendly harmless guy.

But yeah, people can do whatever they want of course, that's just my thoughts about it! :3