#in no way he is perfect but he has a strict code he wouldn't do that!

[nightmare-foundation]

I really want to offer my analysis here, because I don't entirely agree with this take, given that it's far more nuanced than what's seen here

Dick said he wished Jason had died in Nightwing v2 #119, in the midst of the Brothers in Blood arc. He thought this to himself right after fighting Jason, after Jason started running around in his own Nightwing costume, killing people and traumatizing bystanders, making Nightwing public enemy #1 and essentially ruining his reputation and trying to ruin his vigilante life, which Jason continues to do even after Dick expresses that he doesn't like what he's doing.

I'll be honest, I really don't blame Dick for briefly wanting Jason dead, considering the guy was deliberately ruining Dicks reputation as a vigilante, and pushing past every boundary Dick set up. Sure, it's no excuse, but I wouldn't expect Dick to welcome Jason back with open arms after something like that. I wouldn't either, frankly. Also, Jason pretty deliberately cut Dicks hand open too, and jokes about it. Jason wasn't giving Dick any reason to be friendly with him, especially knowing Dicks strict moral code. Also, Dick never once expressed this thought out loud, and honestly I'm not sure how in character it is for him to think something like that and not at least regret it.

As for the second time- that isn't Dick wanting Jason dead again. Dick is working off of the assumption that Jason never died in the first place, and on top of that, Jason DID originally die at the end of Under the Hood (note the effects from the Superboy Prime punch that shows up at the end of the comic, that also showed up when Jason was revived in his coffin). Dick isn't expressing that he wished Jason was dead here, he's literally saying that Jason wasn't supposed to be alive- that two separate events (Ethiopia, the end of UtH) should've killed him. That's the unbelievable part, the part that 'makes him sound crazy', because Jason isn't dead when he's supposed to be.

Another point- Brothers in Blood is infamously out of character for both Dick and Jason, and overall very wacky, especially at this point. Winick, in an interview, stated that Jason hated the idea of Dick (i don't have a link right now, but I can find it for you), but in this comic, he wants to be buddies? Not to mention Dick not regretting wanting someone dead, especially after the events of Nightwing v2 #93, which he was still very much recovering from at this point, hence the year long break from being Nightwing (which Jason interrupted by forcing Dick to act when he wasn't ready to).

Also... Dick, presumably, has no idea about what Jason went through. He isn't aware of how much he's struggling. All Dick is probably aware of (because let's be real, Bruce is shit at communicating), is that Jason somehow survived Ethiopia, came back years later as a murderous crime lord, supposedly died in a fight with Bruce, and is back again and wreaking havoc and killing people in HIS suit and refusing to stop. Hell, he probably JUST found out Jason was alive! But this is ALL Dick knows. I highly doubt he knows the details of the showdown between him and Bruce, or why Jason does what he does, etc. Jason sure as hell isn't explaining anything beyond why he kills, and that doesn't matter to Dick because he's strictly against killing, to the point of mental breakdowns if he does it himself or is responsible in some way (see: his reaction to beating the Joker to death and Blockbusters death). Jason isn't at all giving Dick any reason to sit down and talk to him, or be friendly. Sure, he wanted to know if they could be brothers again, but he could've communicated this earlier in a far more normal way lol.

And just so we're being fair: I'm also not entirely sure Jason actually didn't care when Dick supposedly died. Look at his face when he says "That's Blüdhaven.", and then his almost performative, kinda fake sounding words afterwards. Jason certainly hated the idea of Dick (the perfect golden boy who always listened to Batman and got all the love), but he never actually HATED-hated Dick, and even if he did, certainly not enough to want him dead. He even goes out of his way to save Dick and give him important information he just happened to overhear. On top of that, Jason is frequently depicted during this time as lying, both to himself and others, specifically when Winick writes him (see: Red Hood: The Lost Days. What he says and what he does don't line up). So I don't believe Jason really wanted Dick dead, or even just didn't care.

Overall, it's WAY more nuanced than just "Dick wanted Jason dead when he just found out his little brother was alive". Sure, is it kinda shitty to wish someone dead? Of course. Is it in character here? Not very. Do I blame him? Not at all. Do I believe they were shitty to each other in other ways? Absolutely! They have SO many issues, and have hurt each other a lot, I'm definitely not arguing that they haven't. But I don't think wanting the other dead was ever a real issue, nor a flaw in their relationship.

til that slade bombing bludhaven happens at the same time jason and bruce are duking it out in the under the red hood storyline and they see it happening.

in other news, jason peter todd is a raging asshole omg what a jerk THAT’S YOUR BROTHER?!??? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOU LOVE DICK

[littlefankingdom]

Bruce throwing a batarang at his son's throat makes no sense

When you read a comics, you have to ask yourself "is this in character or does it only serve the plot?", because comics LOVE to disregard a character's personality or morals to make their plot work. If it's the second one, I like to throw it in the trash that isn't canon.

Well, the batarang accident in Under The Red Hood is one of them. Let me explain:

The front of a human throat is a very delicate area of our body. On the back, we have our bones to protect the shit in there (and it is still a fragile area. One hit well placed, and you're dead), but the front is full access to so much stuff. When killing someone in a single strike, one could choose to slice their throat. There's only 2cm between the skin's surface and the principal arteries, a small blade is enough. At least, you can hurt their vocal cords. At worse, you cut the link between the heart, the lungs and the brain (aka, they're dead).

Bruce does not kill, so him targetting the throat with a sharp object is already out of character. It's too risky, he could easily kill them. But to his own son??? That he grieved and who is back from the dead??? Completely crazy.

So why? Why writing Batman throwing a batarang at his son's throat? Here is my theory:

I am 99% sure that you are not supposed to pick a side in Under The Red Hood, that it was intended to be a story where there was no clear solution, neither Jason or Bruce are totally right and both have their own good reasons for their actions and decisions. It's another nail in the coffin to demonstrate that the Joker won that day he killed Jason. Whatever happens, he wins, because the Joker only wants one thing: to mentally break Batman. It's difficult to write a story with such a goal, to be able to make your readers side with both at the same time. You need to balance everyone's actions so noone is too much of a "bad" guy.

However, at this point, Jason has already attacked Tim 2 TIMES. And even if Jason has his reasons to do so, Tim is completely innocent and does not deserve it. He's just a teenager doing his best to help others. Jason has hurt Tim badly, a good guy, and they need to balance this out. And so, they decide to make Bruce throws a batarang at Jason's throat.

It didn't work as intended AT ALL, because a lot of y'all totally forgive Jason's brutal attacks on an innocent teenager, but will not forgive Bruce throwing a batarang to the throat of his son, even if he is a mass murderer and attempted to kill another of his protegees at this point (I'm just pointing out why it wasn't a predictable outcome for the writing team. This is literally a post about how I hate that they made Bruce threw a batarang at Jason's throat, don't come at me)

And in the animated movie adaptation, done years later, Bruce doesn't throw a batarang at Jason's throat, but at his hand holding the gun (this confrontation is so better in the movie. With Jason pointing his gun at the Joker, than at himself, showing that, inside, he doesn't want the Joker dead, he wants his father's attention, he wants him to show that he cares, because Bruce sucks at showing emotions and communation. And, when the building exploses, Bruce throws himself over Jason to protect him, probably the same way he wished he could have all those years ago. Good shit right there) Why make this change? Is it because a batarang to the throat that too gruesome for the format? Or is it because the Titans' Tower didn't happen in the animated universe (RIP Tim, forever in Queer Jail)? Or is it because they have seen how people reacted to the comics and didn't like it?

It's just a theory, but I'm pretty sure I'm right.

Shout out to the fanfic writers who say the batarang hit Jason's hand and ricocheted into his neck, making it an accident. That's possible, Bruce can fuck up a bit with the emotions and everything going on.

[rafry]

Euclydia, Cults and Need for Control

Disclaimer: this analysis raises sensitive topics. if you are/were a victim of a cult and the topic triggers you, please refrain from reading further(/seek help). Additionally, I am not a specialist on said topic, nor am I a clinician. But I am a survivor, so part of the narrative may or may not be just me projecting the trauma on a silly yellow triangle. That said, reader discretion is advised! :)

The take: Euclydia is likely to be a cult-like society and the reason Bill, after years of abuse, grows up to be as he is: a power-hungry monster. Let's analyze!

For the starters, The Start. Each state has its own anthem. How lucky that we were kindly provided with the Euclidian hymn (hidden under the code "FORGETTHEPAST")! Lets take a look:

"Two dimensions to and from, You always know which way to go If you're lost, don't be afraid, In Euclydia you've got it made! Run too far too right of frame, You'll appear on left again! Jump too high, don't fry or fret, You'll pop up from the ground, I bet! In this place there is no fear, Roles and rules, always clear, Euclydia, we hold you dear…"

That tells us way more than we could've asked for, really. The most important: Euclydia is a state of Clear Rules™. Everything works perfectly thanks to The Rules and The Roles, and the state is loved by it's citizens. It's might be a caricature 2D utopia, but how it reacts when the rules are questioned?

"Eye doctor of a different kind, who wants to make his patient blind The doctor says: 'three sips a day will make the visions go away' Fussy eater, baby Billy Wouldn't drink unless it's silly..."

If there's anything about cults and the way they make people behave, is that the "wrong" ones in the community are usually ostracized and/or heavily medicated to not cause any troubles. Those people are sometimes called 'heretics', but may as well just be called crazy or insane by their peers. Oh look completely unrelated picture:

"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane Starting fires with his brain"

Honestly, the other time it would be it. Euclydia, if not Is, then sure does Act like a cult in some way. I could've finished here, easily, but there's something missing, isn't?

"The hell do you mean by 'The Need to Control', OP?"

I mean that the BILLVILLE is important.

There's the thing about trauma survivors: some of us, after living a life with no control over ones societal position (ostracization/isolation), body (forcibly medicated) or even mind (feeling of inadequacy), crave for some form of control to be regained.

It can turn toxic very quickly when the only form of control one has ever seen in their life is being The Leader (cult leader/shitty parent/armageddon overlord/you get the idea, it's about becoming an authority figure).

And so, Bill becomes a cult leader! Very possibly covering up the need for control and admiration with what I call "The most inefficient way to build an Interdimentional Portal ever", since, well, he's got to lie to himself every now and then, that's his thing (trauma response).

As for the details:

He uses the dead mans body — the body that wouldn't cause any resistance, thus being perfect for taking under control.

He sees the position of the interviewer as more authoritative than the position of the interviewee — and he swaps the roles. That wasn't enough though, so he demands (politely) to be called "My Lord And Master" for a good measure.

He very possibly recreates some of Euclydia-like order in his own "Town" in terms of expressing individuality. They might've been pretty decent in following scripts, I think.

So, I don't think Euclydia has ever been religious in any way, since that would left some other scars on Bills psyche for sure. But highly authoritative, ignorant, strict in its rules to the point of self-damnation? That checks. That's the place that has formed Bill, after all.

That's the place that he wishes to rebuild.

Maybe not consciously, maybe distorted by his illness and broken memory of a loving-paradise-home that has never actually been that way, but he seeks the comfort of familiarity — most of us do. Familiar stings are better than an uncontrollable too-bright future, isn't?

I hope he does well on therapy.

[bittersweetcreep]

My Vision Of A Female!Darling Damian Would Become Obsessed With {Origin and Meeting}

Origin Start

I see this darling as a lab experiment design to be the perfect weapon, although the way she was made was lack for a better word "unique." The scientist made her embryo with specific DNA traits then put her into a fertilization tank, and once out of said tank, a "caretaker" was assigned to her.

This "caretaker" was only allowed to provide the basic necessities an infant needs and was prohibited from interacting or showing affection to her. They don't want their weapon to become soft and emotionally attached to anyone, but the "caretaker's" main assignment was to get her to walk as soon as possible to begin training.

Her training was brutal and strict. She would receive severe punishments for failure or not meeting the scientists' expectations. One of said punishments was the removal of her vocal chords and purposely leaving behind a nasty scar as a reminder to do better. The training was beyond cruel but did create results.

She's mastered a number of fighting styles and the art of stealth while also building enough strength to break bones, all while having the best reflexes to catch flying knives with her mouth and the agility to dodge bullets.

For the longest time, the scientists thought she had the power of teleportation, but that's not the case. In reality, she was just fast. Fast enough to stand in your eyesight one minute, then make a run for it when you blink the next, making it seem like teleportation for the one who blinked. Thank god she has the stamina to pull that off, and the scientist seemed to approve of that little party trick she could do.

She seems like the best weapon, but that wasn't enough for the scientist. They wanted the perfect weapon, so that's why they put metahuman traits in her DNA.

She's able to manipulate her own blood when it's in her body and when it's out of her body. She's also able to manipulate other's blood as well, but only if her blood is mixed in with the target's own blood. Be it the target's blood is in a puddle on the floor or physically infecting the blood that's still in their body herself via cuts and puncture wounds.

Another way she can manipulate her blood is the changing of her own blood type, like changing it to AB+ to O-. So far, she's able to master the manipulation of all eight major blood types. She's also learned to copy someone's DNA via blood, be it the individual is dead or alive.

It was obvious she would lose a lot of blood when in a conflict. So, to prevent her from dying by blood loss, they made sure she produced more blood than the average human.

They truly did make the perfect weapon, but one thing they didn't expect was to be betrayed by that very weapon. Why the betrayal? She refuses to submit to those who don't have her respect and grown adult men who hide behind a small child while said child fights their battles? They're weak cowards, but sadly, she needs their training. So she'll play nice for now until they are of no use to her. their use ran out by the time she was 13. Her breach was a mess, and she was a mees. Her poor hair was covered in blood.

Opening the doors of her "home," she's come to know her location. Gotham City, home to many criminals and the notorious Batman.

She had finally done it, she rid herself of those men and earned her freedom. Although she did it, she didn't think about what comes after that. She's come to realize that she could never function as anything other than a fighting machine because being a weapon has always been her purpose and if it wasn't for The Batman she would of been labeled a villain instead of vigilante.

The Batman is a strong individual with a high intellect and a skilled fighter with a moral code he never strays from. There was no way he wouldn't have earned her respect, and because he has her respect, she'll follow his example to strike fear into the hearts of criminals and bring them to justice by becoming a vigilante as well.

Origin End

Obsession Start

The first time Damian met his darling, he was still an Al Ghul, not a Wayne, and Bruce was unaware of his existence. He ran into her during one of his many missions in Gotham, so when spotting her Damian being Damian, tried to kill her on sight only to have his ass handed to him. So there he was, exhausted and restrained by what he could only assume is blood with multiple cuts, bruises, and broken bones all in and over his body, with a nasty black eye to match.

The girl raised her hand to what he assumed was to kill him, only for her to start tapping on the wall closest to them. But that was not any tapping it was morse code.

°This is not your city. it's Batman's. Know your place, and leave Al Ghul.°

With a roundhouse kicked to the head, Damian was out like a light. Upon awakening, Damian found himself up in the mountains far outside of Gotham City. How can he tell? Because even if he's lying down, he just needs to turn his head, and there is Gotham City. Sitting up, he winced, becoming aware of his many injuries.

He replayed the battle in his head, that girl was around the same age as him, yet she had shown skill that went beyond her years and that blood manipulation of hers was quite impressive. Remembering the way he was restrained on his knees forced to look up towards her, he felt unusual doing so, and that stare made an irresistible chill go down his spine.

With her eyes on him like that something within Damian shift and he became intrigued and dare he say infatuated. It also helps that she was quite the looker, too.

It's been a week since Damian started to follow his newest and favorite target. Where she goes, he goes, be it on patrols or fighting criminals. Damian loves seeing her fight it has to be the most attractive thing he's ever seen. He tried pinpointing what part he found attractive. Was it her engaging in combat? When she uses her metahuman powers? Her breaking bones effortlessly? Whatever it is, she's one helluva girl. Yes, she's a strong girl who can protect herself and is not some damsel in distress, so why is Nightwing acting like her white knight?

Apparently, teamups with Nightwing and Batman are a normal occurrence for her, especially teaming up with Nightwing. Whenever Damian sees her teamuping with the Batman, it's strictly professional, but he can see the respect she holds for the man, Damian wants her to respect him too. He'll need to investigate the Dark Knight and see what she respects about him. Who knows, maybe he'll be useful.

But Nightwing? He needs to stay away from what's his or else. When they team up, it's clear their relationship is more personal than professional, unlike her relationship with Batman. It's infuriating seeing them so close, doesn't that bird knows not to mess with another man's woman!? Who does he think he's messing with?! He is Damian Al Ghul, the heir to the League of Assassins and the son of a demon!

"Hey Luna, we're still on for tomorrow?"

°and miss out going to the spa? Wouldn't dream of it, Nightwing.°

.....They know each others civilian identities? Are they that close? No, this is the last straw he needs to do something about this, but what? Well, luck must be on his side because here he is standing in the Wayne manor with his father Bruce Wayne, or should he say Batman. Looks like the Dark Knight will be useful after all.

But it looks like Nightwing comes by to the manor every so often, or should he say Dick Grayson, his new brother. Dick has his own place, but he also sleeps at the manor sometimes. Damian would use those opportunities to get him out of the picture and away from his girl, but Bruce catches him every time.

So, as a way to keep an eye on him and teach him the value of human life, Bruce made Damian Robin. Damian wasn't happy, to say the least, but...

"Robin meet Red Luna she teams up with us every so often, and now she'll be teaming up with you."

°it's a pleasure to meet you, Robin. I hope you can keep up.°

Maybe being Robin can be useful.

"I'm more than capable of keeping up with a beauty like you."

Obsession End

[budd-ie]

“If I wasn’t destined to be perfect, I at least wanted to be perfectly kind. But…I couldn’t even manage that. It’s really…so unfair."

Yin Yu's dream of perfect kindness is yet another example of unattainable perfection. I love Yin Yu, because he really is trying to be kind to everyone. But "perfect kindness" doesn't exist in a world where other people are unkind, because there's a very small intersection between kindness and justice.

Yin Yu deliberately spends his time looking out for Quan Yizhen even though it drives him mad and only causes him problems.

He tells him not to worry even when his head is throbbing, he tells him it's fine, you didn't do anything wrong, even if everyone else is ready to kill them. Even if Yin Yu is lying, he's not really doing it just to placate him, he's doing this because he genuinely, wholeheartedly wants to believe in the words he's saying. It's not that he's unbothered, but that he wants to be unbothered. Yin Yu knows that helping Quan Yizhen is the right thing to do, so that's what he wants to emulate, and when people give him a hard time for it, he tries to placate them too. He tries to reason and rationalize every side regardless of his emotions; this is his way of trying to be fair and kind to everyone. This is easier in the sect because his peers respect him, but heaven is a little different.

Yin Yu appoints Jian Yu and Quan Yizhen as his deputy officials. We know that Jian Yu is a trusted companion despite his negative attitude, but what about Quan Yizhen? There's no way Yin Yu didn't rationalize his decision as a mix of talent, gusto, and maybe even a little spite. He recognizes Yizhen's potential and knows that helping him hone it is the right thing to do. It's the kind thing to do. Why wouldn't he want to help? Not to mention if he leaves him alone in the sect, who will vouch for him? It will only cause him problems if they aren't together, so really it's best to keep him along.

(continued under cut due to length and book 7 spoilers)

Lo and behold, inevitable problems arise and Yin Yu is under fire as well. Others show the same contempt for Yizhen as before, but the stakes are much different now. In heaven, everyone is a big shot and Yin Yu has no authority and only complimentary respect to his name. Placating the aggressor is hardly an option anymore, so all he can do is take it.

For the next section, lets look at this scene:

It also needs to be established right now that Yin Yu desperately wants to be a god, and it should also be said that a "god" really is something a little different than being a "heavenly official." This is more than a position to him, it’s a dream. Ascension for Yin Yu is proof that all his hard work is paying off, that all the headache wasn't for nothing, that he really is someone remarkable. Only...he doesn't quite feel remarkable. A god is someone who is perfect, kind and benevolent, who always does the right thing for the right reasons. A "heavenly official" is more like a white-collar worker at a corrupt high-end job stuck in meetings all day with a strict social code lest you offend another very powerful person. Everyone thinks they're hot shit just because of their title, which is especially why so many low-ranking deputy officials are so arrogant. With that, Yin Yu is aware that he isn't perfect. He hates that he gets annoyed by Yizhen when he knows there's really nothing he's doing wrong, he knows Yizhen's skills are better than his and he hates that it makes him somewhat insecure, and most of all, he hates that he hates. Yin Yu wants to be a god, kind and benevolent, skilled and perfect, but there are no true gods in this world. So instead he holds on tight to that title and does his best to just keep doing his best, even though he knows Quan Yizhen is right.

So why is perfect kindness unattainable, and why is it so frustrating?

Yin Yu is constantly trying to appease both sides. On one side is the sect and the heavenly officials who are fed up with Quan Yizhen for not following social standards and getting benefits he apparently doesn't deserve. On the other side is Quan Yizhen who holds no value in arbitrary social rituals and only fights when picked on. Despite being a trusted friend, Jian Yu doesn't help any.

Yin Yu's mitigation is always an order to "drop it" and move on with an added rationalization of Quan Yizhen's actions. In the end, Yin Yu is a logical thinker who tries to suppress his negative emotions for the sake of being kind, and thus doesn't reprimand anyone else for being unkind either, but it really doesn't work against people who don't care the way he does.

Lets look at this scene too:

"You shouldn't let others hear you talk about him like that"

This is the line that says the most about Yin Yu. As someone who's met a lot of people who weren't quite the nicest, I can say from experience that these are the words of someone who is afraid of being associated with the sentiment but doesn’t actually disagree with it. It is unkind for Jian Yu to talk about Quan Yizhen behind his back like this, especially in heaven, but Yin Yu doesn't really tell him off. Even if this kind of response is more kind to Jian Yu, it's still unkind to Quan Yizhen (even if it isn't being said to his face).

On both sides of this, there is a decision about justice, and on both sides he's too scared to make that decision lest he offend someone. So what was he supposed to do? As a relevant comparison, let's think about Xie Lian who is notorious for being kind. Kind as he was, he also stated he would defy the heavens if they should condemn him for doing what he knew was the right thing (saving hong-er). He reprimands bullies, hated his own father for his questionable values, isn't really afraid to yell or hit if he needs to, and most of all has little regard for himself or what people think of him if it means justice is granted to the righteous and innocent. He's a headache and a troublemaker in exchange for standing up for what he believes is right.

Unfortunately, Yin Yu's sense of justice isn't as strong. If he wanted to be wholly kind to Quan Yizhen, that would mean justice for him and being unkind to the other heavenly officials. To appease the heavenly officials, he would have to be unkind to Quan Yizhen. Yin Yu's passion for godhood makes him unwilling to defy the heavens and his respect for Quan Yizhen makes him unwilling to do him harm either. It is impossible to be "perfectly kind" because justice is imbalanced by this nature, and that "third path" of equality over equity can harm more than it helps. In the end, someone has to get hurt. If we really want to put it into perspective, you might even also be able to say that Quan Yizhen's sense of justice is stronger than Yin Yu's, which only makes the blow hurt more. If heaven stands for justice, he understands that heaven is unfair by nature and rejects it, where Yin Yu is still willing to uphold it, as it placates him in his own yearning to be a god. But does a kind god really have time to be kind to themself too? Gods are not all powerful, and even after ascension they remain human. All humans have unbalanced emotions, and for these limits of humanity to remain is only natural.

“Yizhen is a genius, but I’m just ordinary. I could only climb so high. I knew that. Even though I knew, I couldn’t accept it. In truth, I felt the same as Jian Yu—I was even more frustrated than he was. It’s not that I wasn’t resentful; it was impossible to be otherwise. After that incident, I could never bring myself to reflect on why I told Yizhen to die when I knew he was wearing the Brocade Immortal. Was I really just driven to madness, or did I actually want him dead?"

He wanted to choose the path to appease everyone, including himself, and he suffered for it. The frustration that overtook him really did just drive him mad, and he can't truly be blamed for it; what he wanted to achieve was impossible, after all. And although his kindness couldn't be perfect, it wasn't for nothing. After Yin Yu was banished, Quan Yizhen went to Ling Wen every day to check for news on his whereabouts and for centuries still believed in him despite it all. Even as Yin Yu dies, Quan Yizhen sobs his heart out for him, broken that there isn't more he can do for him. It's easy to shake Quan Yizhen off as an airhead comedic relief character, but Yin Yu's kindness did genuinely touch him, and he never stopped caring for him. He reminds me of Hong-er, the way Yin Yu was the only person who was nice to him, helped him, and showed him grace. Why wouldn't that be meaningful to him? Let's also remember the lantern contest banquet when Xie Lian interrupted a play that portrayed Yin Yu in a distasteful light, and the way Quan Yizhen later shoved his donation box full of gold bars in appreciation. He always looked to Yin Yu for guidance and trusted him wholeheartedly. He always wanted due justice, or at the very least respect for Yin Yu, and to find the truth about what happened that day. Even if you can't appease everyone, even if the masses don't remember your good deeds, that doesn't mean your actions were meaningless. As long as it touches one soul, you'll never truly be forgotten.

Finally, I want to look at this declaration:

"Yes, I hate him! But so what?! He’s given me so much trouble—can’t I hate him for it?! But…But I only…I only wanted to hate him. That doesn’t mean I want to hurt him."

Despite saying this, I don't believe Yin Yu ever really hated Quan Yizhen at all. He invested so much time in him because he saw what he was capable of. He lied for him to keep his spirits up so he didn't get discouraged when others shot him down. It's just that when he kept being himself, people came complaining to Yin Yu all over again. All of the frustration he was feeling wasn't because Quan Yizhen couldn't take the hint and leave him alone for an hour, its because everyone always took their anger out on him when he did anything. Yin Yu didnt hate Quan Yizhen, he hated that he couldn't be the patient and calm person he wanted to be for him. He hated that he felt so worthless despite working so hard. He hated the unfairness of it all. And if Quan Yizhen was the one at the center of it all, it's easier to summarize these negative emotions into hatred and focus it on one avoidable entity than to wallow in the hollow shell of that person he wanted to grow into one day. It was never really their fault, not either of them. The whole of it was unfair, and they both deserved better for the efforts they made.

[solcorvidae]

I've been thinking about how Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt all deal with the trials and how it shapes them into the people they would grow to become.

Lambert remembers his past. He is angry, upset, bitter, and vindictive. He's got this fire in him that is only stoked by the pain and suffering forced upon him. He remembers the boys who did not make it: the hell they all had to go through, and he has a complicated relationship with Vesemir that surrounds it. Lambert does questionable things that Geralt is bothered by in his grief and anger. Geralt calls him out for killing in cold blood, needlessly and mercilessly.

Lambert avoids Vesemir at Kaer Morhen and mocks him when he is not around. He may come off as childish and like an asshole, but Lambert knows what he feels. Lambert doesn't lash out because he can't control his emotions or because he doesn't understand the path of least resistance. He knows. He chooses to avoid conflict with Vesemir at Kaer Morhen by keeping out of his way. He knows he can't control his emotions effectively if he is face-to-face with him for too long. He knows, and he isn't stupid.

Lambert talks to Geralt about the trials and the injustice of it all. He probably looks up to Geralt, hoping his brother feels just as angry about it as he does. He went through the Trial of the Grasses twice for Christ's sake! Why is he not more angry? Why is he so apathetic?

And Geralt brushes him off time and time again. Such is life, is his attitude. We all went through it, he says. Geralt can't be upset because there is nothing he can feasibly do about it. He didn't choose to be a Witcher. He wouldn't have chosen this life. He would have some other job somewhere else, just like he told Regis. He can't change the past. He can't go back and fix something he never had control over in the first place. Besides, they can’t inflict the trials upon a new generation of kids, not anymore. It’s in the past now, so why dwell on it? What’s done is done and thank god no other kids have to suffer the way they did. It’s over. It’s time to move on.

Geralt doesn't enjoy fame. He tells Eskel this in To Bait a Forktail. Geralt is the famous twice-grassed White Wolf. He is The Witcher. The famed Geralt of Rivia. He has expectations piled upon him the size of mountains. He's got to be the perfect Witcher, he's got to be a loyal brother, a lover, and a best friend… Geralt had expectations put upon him that set him aside from the rest since he was a kid. He hates it. Underneath the banter and the wit, Geralt accepts that this is his life, but that doesn't mean he likes it. He tolerates it because it is his reality and nothing more. If he thinks about it for too long… maybe it will consume him.

"You remember her?" he asks Eskel about his mother.

Unlike Lambert, Geralt hardly knows what it means to live another life. He doesn't have that following him like it does with his brother. What little he remembers is not enough to erase the apathy drilled into him at such a young age. Maybe he has a more strict moral code than say, Lambert, (or if you want to bring in the other Witcher schools, most of the Cats and the caravan) but that doesn't make him the most ethical person on the Continent. How could you be? After all that he has endured, the things he was taught? Where do you draw the line? He kills monsters, but like in Velen, it's hard to see where the line's drawn in the sand.

Humans are monstrous too.

Eskel, however? Maybe he's jealous. He did everything right, why shouldn’t he be? He is superiorly skilled in magic, one hell of a good Witcher. He has a reputation for it. Maybe he's not as kind as your average person, but he gets the job done. He's got a more relaxed demeanour than his brothers which reveals itself in his reputation. He's reliable. He is damn good at what he does. So why does Geralt get all the attention? The fame? He clearly doesn't want it.

While Lambert got turned into a vindictive prick and Geralt became a quick-witted nihilist, Eskel? He's exactly who he should be. Why shouldn't he be praised for it like his brother? Why should he be forced to bend over backwards to accommodate people and keep up with his reputation? For what? His skills? Ha! He lives in the shadows of Geralt who's notably a good Witcher, but he's not quite as good as Eskel.

Eskel was beaten shaped into the man he is today because of the trials, his training, and everything else. Should he not get credited for that too? Why does someone who doesn't even want his fame get all the recognition? Genetic predisposition? Shouldn't his hard work be given more consideration and praise? Thank god Geralt survived the hell of being subjected to two rounds of mutagens rather than one, but why should that overshadow the efforts, the time, and the sacrifices that everyone else around him has made? Eskel is exactly the man that they intended him to be by the end of it all. He is an efficient hunter, he is outstanding with signs, and he works diligently for his reputation. He did everything right. He does everything right. Why is that not enough?

TL;DR: Lambert, Geralt and Eskel handle their traumas in different ways. Lambert gets vengeful, Geralt gets apathetic, and Eskel gets borderline jealous. (And it breaks my heart)

[trlvsn]

a thing im also very picky and pretentious about is the amount of fault people think lies with edgeworth and all of the innocent people he helped declare guilty. like. first of all this guy has always had a strict moral code, he had lines drawn, somehow, some way, he never even considered forging evidence and fabricating stuff, the most he did? dirty tricks that are still very legal. the updated autopsy report is a perfect example - he isn't manipulating the facts, he is manipulating the defense's emotions, levels of preparedness, giving himself the advantage of knowing things beforehand. is it still something that helped the innocent go to jail? yeah!

but what disturbs me is that people think his attitude after the unnecessary feelings realization is the right way to be. a prosecutor should NOT be actively aiding the defense, a prosecutor should not act against his side in the case, but in those particular scenarios, he had to. in an ideal, good system he wouldn't, because the defense and the prosecution would have equal power, but in this one? the one where defense attorneys literally don't take cases because a scary guy will be their opponent? in the one where the judge favors one side over and over again? he takes on the tricky job of balancing it all out and being, like, 80% prosecutor 20% defense attorney. point is - his character development isn't bad guy -> good guy, it's "guy who acts in accordance to the system, thinking he is doing what his job requires" -> "guy who understands the horrors and does his best for justice to be served, merging the sides of the court and honestly being very much beyond phoenix and everyone else in his understanding of the fucked-upness of the system". you know. he didn't go from improper prosecutor to proper prosecutor, he did the exact opposite, actually. so did phoenix in aa4!! so did everyone who Knew, hence the spirit channeling allowed in court and miles pretending to be a defense attorney in aa3 and phoenix breaking 2043 laws while investigating and eeeeverything else.

anyways, back to my original point - judging edgeworth for the lives of the innocent or whatever becomes complicated not only because of the influence manfred von karma had on him since the ripe age of nine, but also because he was literally doing what the unspoken job requirements were, what the standard was. and the ace attorney death penalty laws are fucked up on their own but that's a whole different conversation

[evanox]

On a scale from king/queen of the party to shy awkward wallflower, where would you personally place a good match for each of the M4 of Last Legacy when it comes to a partner? Or what kind of traits do you think, a suitable partner might need?

{HELLO sorry I never responded to your requests I kinda completely gave up on LL BUT I was trying to find something and saw this was already fully written and it was a shame to leave it rotting here}

ooo that's a fun q thank you!! I hope I understood it right!!

m.list

Felix

Felix himself has always been a wallflower at parties. Sure, as a toddler, he'd eat up the praises of nobles as his fathers showed off the gifted kid they were so proud of, but he tired out quickly so Florian would rush him to bed before little Fe got too cranky and his magic started going haywire.

He still doesn't enjoy the balls—the nobility's massive egos far too stifling, only rivaled by the clothes his father made him wear.

Even in a modern setting, he wouldn't enjoy parties that are too loud and crowded. Felix might just hide in the kitchen to read a book or find the host's cat, only emerging from the shadows when it's time for truth or dare (he always picks dare, and it's beginning to get scary for others because there's almost nothing he'd say no to).

Felix finds himself more drawn to other wallflowers; even if you don't talk, you can at least look at each other with understanding before moving on.

It's great to have a partner who understands when Felix needs out. Hell, he might actually enjoy the party better with an introverted/awkward partner—it's the perfect excuse to grill any stuck-up nobles if they so much as dare to tease you if you stumble over your words or forget the nobility's strict codes of etiquette; only Felix gets to tease you (as long as you can take it), and only because he finds you cute.

Then you can both grab a snack or a drink and quietly slip out of the crowded ballroom to tour the gardens together. If the music is loud enough that you can still hear it faintly outside, he might just ask you for a dance amongst the roses with the moon as your lone witness.

"How un-noble of you, Felix!" you would tease when Felix leads you off the paved path and towards the arching willow where you'll be perfectly hidden from any other stragglers, then Felix would laugh softly before he presses you against the tree and kisses you until you're ready to be portalled into bed (for sleep or for other purposes, none of my business).

However, I wouldn't say Felix can't appreciate a life-of-the-party partner! After all, it is only a matter of time before an extrovert comes to claim their introvert, thus maintaining balance in this world.

Your joy might even become so contagious that Felix can't help but join, especially if it's too unorthodox for the nobility, leaving a string of offended gasps and/or disapproving scowls behind you—it's all the more reason to love you. You can swing and sway all over the ballroom and cause all sorts of mischief and pranks together, as long as you can respect when he needs to just go home.

Anisa

Attending balls is a minor part of her job, whether she's escorting a VIP or standing guard. From a work perspective, a more extroverted partner might be more convenient for making connections and entertaining guests. Anisa, however, doesn't really have a preference.

An extroverted partner is fun in the way that, when Anisa is standing stiffly in the ballroom by the buffet or the grand staircase, trying to keep up appearances (or even in a modern setting, fussing after everyone in the party), you can help her slowly but surely relax and break out of her shell.

Once Anisa picks up the vibe, she does a 180 and lets out the party animal (though this one's nowhere near as wild as Sage); you can see it in the way her movements are much more relaxed, how she throws her head back and laughs so loudly at the dumbest of jokes, and how she spares a dance for whoever asks—that is until she finds you amongst the crowds and pulls you in to dance the rest of the night away.

Just promise you won't let her overindulge in the wine or the punch (that Sage might've dabbled in) lest she starts acting too inappropriately on the job. You know she can't part too long from the buffet.

An introverted partner is great, too! Anisa won't force you into attending parties with her because it's work after all, but if you still want to come along, she'll take care of you throughout the event, continuously checking over you.

Oh, to have Anisa hold your hand and press a tender kiss to your knuckles as she softly asks, "Are you okay, love?"

I guess you would activate that loophole where it's like, she might not usually go out of her way to have fun at events, but seeing you wilting by the corner will push Anisa to encourage you to have some fun with her, as long as you're up for it; she'd love to pull you in for a dance, your hand held high in hers, and proudly show you off as her lover to everyone.

And if you don't want to dance, well, there's always the buffet! There are so many foods you can try, and Anisa can't wait to hand/spoonfeed them to you.

Sage

He's drawn to the life of the party like a moth to a flame. Sage might be quite the tease, but he still loves being kept on his toes; having someone who can match his pace might even help him burn out all that extra energy.

The loud, crammed taverns are where he thrives, and a partner who enjoys them too adds to the fun. He'll pull you for a dance once the bard picks up a jolly tune, sweeping you off your feet and hopping from table to table as people watch in awe how he swings you with such ease.

Hell, you could sweep him off his feet; he definitely won't complain.

That is not to say Sage would push away the wallflower! He'd try to pull you from where you cling to the wall—wouldn't you rather have fun than look so awfully glum?

Once you explain that you're not necessarily miserable, but the chaos of the dance floor just isn't your scene, he nods in understanding. With a wink and a swish of his tail, he asks you to keep your eyes on him as he blends in with the dancing crowds. You can join in whenever you wish, but until then, you're more than welcome to enjoy the view.

Your discomfort immediately triggers his protective streak, and he'll keep an arm up so people won't keep bumping into you as he escorts you out of the crowded tavern once you call it a night.

If you're attending a party at Fathom or whatever fancy palace for whatever fancy reason, Sage would gladly pull you away from the crowds and the noise to explore all the secret passages and chambers. Hey, you could even find an empty room or a closet for seven minutes of heaven ;)

Rime

Like Anisa, I don't think Rime has a preference. I'd say he might have been partial to a life-of-the-party sort of character—repressed choir boy craving an outlet that he is—but Rime did date Felix, who isn't particularly social. That is not to say that Felix and Rime didn't know how to have fun! I just think Felix's way of 'letting go' is more so through mischief and less through partying or socializing.

So in conclusion, Rime doesn't care how extroverted or introverted you are as long as you know how to have a good time.

If you'd known Rime before as the Starsworn Captain, you might've taken him for a reserved prude, but unlike Anisa, he doesn't really need you coaxing him into being more 'out-there'; he'll compete with you over it. Want to ask him for a dance? He's already eyeing you up and down, looking like he could almost eat you up.

Even on the dancefloor, he'd be looking for ways to fluster you.

Recall how if you choose to remain silent during the first confrontation in the Felix route, Rime would wonder why Felix would choose someone so boring over him? I think, if you're more of a wallflower, Rime might tease you a bit especially if he's interested in you but doesn't know you all that well—not to tear you down but it's his... unconventional way of trying to coax you into coming out of your shell.

[moodymisty]

Hi, I love your work! I was wondering if you could please do a kind of part 2 to the Crosshair breeding kink where he comes back to find her pregnant, if you’re comfortable with that? Thanks!

< Part 1 | Part 3 >

Author's Note: I actually had some random ideas floating around in my mind palace for this sort of thing, so you came by at the perfect time. Time to expand on this idea! I really struggled at the end and I'm not totally pleased with it but I hope you enjoy none the less.

Relationships: Crosshair/Fem!Reader

Warnings: Actual pregnancy, Morning sickness, Tokophobia warning (trying to get hit by people's blacklist just in case they don't like this sort of thing), Feels, Fluff, Too fluffy for crosshair? maybe but eh lets have fun

It's been over a month now, since he broke into your apartment. You've gotten a few days here and there together in-between since, but now has been the longest gap.

It must be a rough one, as you've barely heard a word from him since he was sent off this time.

A lack of communication from him while he's deployed isn't unusual, nor unexpected. Sometimes he's too far away, sometimes they have strict orders for all comm equipment to stay off; Sometimes he just isn't in the mood. But either way, you know things are hectic out there.

Though sometimes you'll get one single message, just enough to know he's ok. It helps soothe your nerves, and Crosshair is a creature of habit; He hates breaking the system you've had for awhile now.

But even if you knew what you signed up for with this, you still wish he was here.

Especially right now as you standing staring in the bathroom mirror, glossing over that you look so much more tired than usual before looking down at the countertop.

Seven different tests lay out on your bathroom counter, all telling you the exact same thing. Your calendar tells you the same answer, but in a more subtle way. No matter how many more ways you try to frame it, the picture is always going to come out looking the same.

You're pregnant.

You hold a fruit in your hand, still cold to the touch and take a bite. It's crisp and tart, frigid against your teeth. It's been the only thing you've been able to eat all day, without throwing it up a short while later.

Every single thing you do points to the exact same conclusion, no matter how much it twists your gut. Or maybe it's your condition twisting your gut; Perhaps both. You take another bite of the fruit in your hand, and leave the refresher to go sit down on your bed. It's an overbearing silence, staring at the ground about a meter ahead of your feet as your lips purse tight.

You're not nearly as shocked by the revelation as you thought you might've been. Or as off put. The idea has never been out of the question, and it wasn't as if you and Crosshair had exactly been playing it safe.

Speaking of him... You wonder what he's going to think about all of this.

You know he likes you, said that he loves you in almost every meaning of the word; But does it include this? It's never been off the table for you, whenever you thought about your future.

You know it wouldn't be easy. The throws of the fury from Separatist aligned planets are still taxing on the clones, and it likely will be for a long while. This war won't end instantly, at least not traditionally.

You left all that garbage on the counter, and with a soft sigh you slide off the bed and go to throw it all away. Gathering them up, you throw them in the trash; They fulfilled their purpose, gave you the answer you needed.

You hope Crosshair comes back to you soon.

Crosshair's eyes glance towards a shockingly bright neon sign he passes on the way to your apartment, and sees the current time towards the bottom.

04:45.

Even if it's the technically the dead of night, Coruscant is always bustling, just a little less than usual. He isn't a stranger to taking respite in ungodly hours, though now more often with you than being completely alone.

You'd given him the code to your place because of it, so he could enter no matter what time of night he managed to steal for himself. You'll surely be asleep, so he'll have to be quiet. Not too much so, he'd rather you not think he's breaking in again. It was amusing in hindsight, but he isn't eager to have you pointing a blaster at him again.

No one is around in the hall to see him punch the code in and hear the soft hiss of your door slide open, before he slips inside and closes it behind him.

It seems he won't need to be quiet this time around however, as he sees you still awake curled up on your couch with a few different snacks and an array of other things, tight in a blanket. Almost all the lights are off, but there's still a soft glow to the room.

"Sick?" He says, as you've already turned towards him when the door opened.

"Cross!"

You stumble and fight the blanket to escape and rush over to him, it still around your shoulders as you hug him. He stiffens; A habit that he's yet to break. But when his body finally relaxes just a bit, you look up at him as his hand shifts around the handle of his rifle case. He'll never let it leave his sight. His face is largely the same neutral expression, but you can see by the way that his eyes are darting across your face that he seems almost confused. At your actions, more than likely.

"You spammed my datapad." You nod.

"And Tech's." Guilty.

"I, had something to tell you." You've been waiting for days now since you'd found it, sitting in limbo overthinking. You feel nauseous, and it's hard to tell if it's nerves or the morning sickness. It's more than likely both, which doesn't help matters in the slightest.

"That important?" He says walking towards your bedroom, following you past the door. Sitting down on the edge of the bed you look up and over at him, giving a good look over.

Even if he's a good and hiding his emotions, you can tell that he is beat; The dark circles under his eyes are more intense and you can see the exhaustion in his eyes. He sits his rifle case on the ground at the end of your bed but still in sight.

Crosshair prides himself on his patience when it comes to his ability to stake out a target; But it's still gnawing at him seeing you trying to figure out what to say or how to say it.

"I," You stop for a moment, adjusting the blanket around your body. It's so cold tonight, though it's partly caused by you opening the windows for some fresh air.

"I'm pregnant, Cross."

You've seen a lot of emotions subtly cross his face over all the time you've known him, but his genuine surprise is a new one. It's still subtle, but the way his lips just barely pull apart and his eyes widen cue you in. But he doesn't say anything. You can tell he's thinking, and you want to know what it is.

"Say something?" You purse your lips, feeling your tight throat. "I know it's, probably not what you wanted to hear after coming back but-" Crosshair lets out a soft 'tch'.

"What; You think I'd just bail?" You look up at Crosshair, tensing. Part of you almost wants to get a bit angry at his tone, but you're too tired for it.

"I didn't know. You're... Not exactly an open book, Cross." You make a vague gesture towards the side of your head.

“And there’s a lot going on up here. I've barely eaten anything in days, and when I dropped my hair tie this morning I cried for almost half an hour.” You notice his eyebrows raise, and he seems displeased at what you've said.

"Days?" You nod.

"Just some fruit I had lying around. Everything else is just disgusting." That explains the compete mess of food across your beside table; Trying to find something to eat. When he asks if there's something you want, you look up at him and shake your head.

You can tell he's thinking, but is keeping it all locked inside his head. You hate that he does it, but you'll pry it all out of him in the morning. There's still so much more that needs answering but five in the morning isn't the time for it.

And more than anything, you just want to hold onto him now that you have him back in arms reach again.

"Nah. I can't eat anymore today. Don't feel like it." He jerks his head forward, in the direction of the bed you're sitting on.

"Get in. It's too fucking late to be awake." He puts his helmet down, before taking off his armor piece by piece going upward. Every part gets laid out meticulously in front of his rifle case, and it's all in sight no matter where in the room he goes. When he's finished and only in his body glove, you're under the blankets and quietly watching him. he changes from it and into a few casual clothes he has stored in your closet; That are far more comfortable than his GAR approved blacks.

Afterwards he slip in beside you, and assumes the same way you always sleep together; With him pulling your back against his chest, his chin on the top of your head. If you don't start in this position, you'll always end up this way by the morning. It feels particularly nice right now, to be able to touch him; Have him right here. You missed him, and Crosshair is far too clingy to not feel at least marginally the same.

But he's more quiet than usual, and you can only equate it with him still thinking. Tomorrow you'll have an actual conversation about this. No one should be talking this emotionally when they haven't slept and the sun is about to rise.

The gentle sounds of air taxis speeding through the skyway outside make a gentle hum, along with the sound of the climate controls you'd cranked down to almost freezing thanks to the nausea making you feel so hot. Crosshair is a massive heat leech, so he's surely not enjoying how cold you've made the room. At least he has your heated body to keep him comfortable.

But as time passes and the sky is just starting to brighten, you feel him adjust a bit, and it wakes you up from that foggy space between awake and asleep. Your eyes stay closed, but you can feel his chest against your back move, before the arm that was wrapped around your ribs gently pulls away and moves to your belly instead. He's at least somewhat awake, despite being so tired.

He must think you're asleep. You can feel the way his hand drifts all the way down from your ribs, down to right below your belly button, then up again. It's a conscious motion, one that he keeps silently doing.

You're only guess is that he's feeling for something that can't be felt quite yet, or imaging what it will be like when it is.

The soft motion makes your gut churn a little bit less about his thoughts, deciding to get some more well needed sleep as your legs tangle with his own.

Join the taglist here: @seriowan @simp-legend @nekotaetae @chad-something @coffeyorky @merkitty49 @lokigirlszendaya @totesnothere04 @get-wr3ckered @rebel-finn @mandoloriancookie @therealnekomari @loverofclones @notthatfanfictionwriter @lucyysthings

[under-the-ladder]

Since all the songs have been here for a few days now, time for my top (for now. I have no doubts this will change until May.) Warning, a wall of text incoming

The middle section was so hard to rank 😫 I'm sure I'll see this tomorrow and say to myself "What did I think yesterday??". Everything's fluid and constantly changing but that's why I prefer tiers over strict ranking with places.

Best:

Netherlands 🇳🇱 - What do I even say? Joost completely satisfied the insane expectations I'd had for him. He was the sole reason eventually I learned how to use a vpn. I consider him my entryway to the Dutch culture, I've known him for almost a year and he's managed to become special to me as an artist, almost like in a completely different tier. I am definitely biased lol but I just love the song lyrically (I already elaborated on it here), musically and trust him as a performer 100%. Televote win is in the air!

Switzerland 🇨🇭 - Now this is, my dear friends, my winner vibes this year (out of the more viable entries)! Jury will most likely tank Joost and I can see Nemo getting high points from both juries and tele. The Code has just a perfect amount of drama and theatricality. It connects pop and opera - a mix that I'm a sucker for and additionally, is lyrically meaningful to me on a personal level. How could I not love this??? I'm impatiently looking forward to Nemo's looks and turquoise carpet!

Belgium 🇧🇪 - If not Switzerland, at least let Belgium win. This has some anthemic quality that draws me instantly. Takes quite a long time to get to the climax but it's soo worth it. The lyrics are a mystery to me and it still doesn't take away from the song. I might be biased because I already explored some of Mustii's discography and I love what I found.

Spain 🇪🇸 - The instrumental is a biiig part of why I love this song so much. Those synths make me euphoric every time, the message is beautifully unapologetic. I am worried about the vocals though. I've read somewhere that in Benidorm Fest the way Mery sang was an intentional nod to some other popular singer but there's no way anyone outside of Spain knows that. And even when I know that I still lack the cultural context to grasp the significance. If this doesn't get changed this aspect will definitely hold them back.

Ps. If I ever get a cat (as Baby Lasagna has been tempting me since Dora) I am naming it Zorra, mark my words.

Finland 🇫🇮 - This is just pure fun and I'm buying it! It saddens me to see people complaining thy're just a copy of Käärijä, they take themselves so much less seriously lol. The descending shorts with fireworks concept AND the eagle sounds are everything. On top of that the guys are already the highlight of this year's backstage. I will be super sad if this nqs but then semis are televote only so there's still hope 🙏

Amazing:

Slovenia 🇸🇮 - There is something magnetically drawing me to this song. I love how Slovenian sounds in it, the harsh "r" sounds and almost bird-like "rrahh" especially. Raiven's voice and stage presence are hypnotizing. Besides, Weronika is my 3rd name and the only one I chose for myself so I feel personally connected to the song. Musically this is not the easiest entry and I don't expect many televoters to get it (please just q a dalej niech się dzieje wola nieba) but I hope the atmosphere of the performance will make up for it.

Croatia 🇭🇷 - I still can't believe Baby Lasagna was a backup entry for Dora. If he ends up winning there should be a little shrine for Zsa Zsa built in Zagreb. Meanwhile the Dora executives should really ask themselves how the hell they initially declined an entry that ended up giving them a chance for the best placing since god knows when. Anyways, the hype for this was the highest around Dora, now I'm busy obsessing over others but this is very solid still. I wish the staging was less messy. I kinda don't believe it can win realistically but I certainly wouldn't be disappointed.

Australia 🇦🇺 - It's crazy how my opinion on One Milkali took a complete u-turn. From "I don't think it's my type of music" to "Gosh, I can't get it out of my head". The song does feel a bit dated but somehow special as well. Perhaps that's because I found other songs from Electric Fields that I fell in love with. I still think their 2024 is not the strongest track from their discography and I'm mentally preparing for an NQ :|

Portugal 🇵🇹 - Well, I'm myself super surprised that Grito surpassed Ramonda when it comes to ballads. I didn't feel anything for the first few listens and then something clicked. I sense until May there might be some shuffles around those positions and a lot will be down to the live performances

Latvia 🇱🇻 - Dons' monumental vocals is what makes this song 200x better. It flows nicely, the staging is lacking but that will surely get improved, right? 👀 He seems like such a fun guy with a distance to himself, the butter tiktoks will be remembered for a long time.

Lithuania 🇱🇹 - It took some time for it to grow on me. Lithuanian sounds nice here, almost like Polish, and I like the bridge(?) with the lyrics about radio. The chorus melody is kinda annoying but the rest of the song compensates for it. Tbh I like either Latvia or Lithuania more based on how my mood changes.

Cyprus 🇨🇾 - I know it's a pretty standard girlbop but I just like it for some reason. Silia's energy is highly contagious. Hoping she can prove the gossips wrong and deliver vocally while dancing.

Good:

Ukraine 🇺🇦 - I think it's a decent entry. When Jerry and alyona won Vidbir they were pretty high in my ranking but with the rest of the entries being revealed that advantage faded gradually. Contrary to e.g. Slovenia, Teresa & Maria felt catchy and interesting at the beginning but the longer I listened to it the more repetitive it became. I can see this being an advantage in the televoting though. With that being said, it's far from being the most winning-worthy song and I'd rather root for a country that didn't score two wins already in the last decade.

Sweden 🇸🇪 - from the first time I saw this I fell in love with the staging. Loreen had a horizontal sandwich last year, this year it's a vertical one for the twins lol. I do admit the staging is a huge part of why it's so high but I do like this song. Hell, I even think it's better than Air. The last part especially, right before the end. What can I say, I hear those synths and I'm sold. It will make a good opener.

Greece 🇬🇷 - I'm still not sure why it's so high. I don't vibe with the idea for the music video (please don't try to adapt it for stage. No more cringey overlays, don't catch this virus from TVP). The parts I find highly enjoyable are the opening and ending sung in this high(?) voice, the middle is more like my guilty pleasure.

France 🇫🇷 - I really liked the trick with standing back from the microphone but even without it it's a powerful enough ballad. Slimane as a singer sells it, that's it.

Serbia 🇷🇸 - For another year I find myself in love with the sound of Serbian language. The words "lila ramonda" flow so well in the chorus and complement each other in terms of sounds. The song is almost like a lullaby, with the forward-backward movement that Teya makes during the last chorus underscoring that even more. Another beautiful moment is when the flower rises from above her at the end. The performance makes this song for me as musically I preferred Lik u ogledalu, which was kinda uncoordinated on stage with those mirrors.

Estonia 🇪🇪 - I was really a fan of this song around January and then something happened, maybe the Eesti Laul final performance? It was messy vocally and staging-wise. For now I can't really pinpoint what else is wrong but one thing is sure: this really fell more than a few places for me :/

Poland 🇵🇱 - I'm so tired of the Polish internet at this point that I'll be cheering for Luna no matter what happens. This is a song I liked from the start and still do and I sincerely hope she manages to pull it off on stage decently, I don't care whether because she' naturally a good vocalist or gets a lot of training or gets tape backing vocals. Seeing how strong this year is I'm doubting whether Karma or Justyna would score much better.

Austria 🇦🇹 - This grew on me a bit, enough to move from average to good. Not seeing the winner hype at all and as I mentioned somewhere earlier her staging is my pet peeve. If this ends up anywhere near how the mv looks like then I'll be seriously disappointed. This is a song about raving after all and making a Chanel-like choreo-heavy girlbop out of it seems so unnecessary.

Average:

Luxembourg 🇱🇺 - The funky droplet sounds(?) are quite up my alley, the song is quite fun on its own. Please change that outfit on stage, it's too dark for how happpy Fighter sounds imo. While the result of the Luxembourgish nf is not that bad I do hope they change it before the next year. Forcibly pairing artists with not-their-own songs almost always ends up badly and come on, why restrict their creativity and authenticity? It's not 2013 anymore.

UK 🇬🇧 - That's kind of a classic example of expectations vs reality. Dizzy is painfully correct and nothing more BUT I think it can still be rescued by the live performance. If they manage to bring the spinning rooms idea to life and miraculously nothing breaks and if Olly uses his charisma which he has plenty of. If you don't believe me watch It's a sin with Elton John or mv to Starstruck.

Italy 🇮🇹 - My biggest problem here is with the instrumental, it's grating and scratches my brain in a very annoying way. I like Angelina's expression on stage and all that but the song is just a barrier impossible to ignore. If Italy wants to win again please, may it be with something better (I wouldn't say no to Annalisa).

Ireland 🇮🇪 - I'm generally very glad Bambie won, this is surely progress made from the last year. Normally I'm not a fan of pagan elements, zodiac signs, etc. but the mv is very aesthetically pleasing. The quieter parts are digestible to my ears, the noisier ones not so much. People keep saying it's a chance for Ireland to qualify but honestly I'm of the opinion it will repel majority of the televoters. It will be very interesting to see how it's going to play live with staging, outfits and turquoise carpet nonetheless.

Norway 🇳🇴 - I think Norway might be the biggest fall this year, or even since I'm more engaged in ESC. This went straight up from amazing to barely average. In theory Ulveham has everything I should love - Norwegian, rock mixed with folk, powerful and charismatic vocalist. I still don't know exactly what doesn't work. It's no mystery I loved Mileo and thought Damdiggida was a letdown compared to other Keiino's songs so I don't think Norway had a better option in the MGP final than Gåte. What I like is the staging, especially the moment Gunnhild bends backwards and leans on her hand (somehow with her vocals remaining flawless!!) but that's not enough to charm me back :c

Weak:

Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 - It's a pleasant ballad but doesn't distinguish itself enough to be memorable. I appreciate the use of Azerbaijani (Azeri?), I don't appreciate the presence of Ilkin Dovlatov. What does he even bring to this song?

Denmark 🇩🇰 - That's just a very competent song with a good vocalist, almost no more things to say. I'm not a fan of the platform she was standing on. Also I have a weird aversion to the DMGP stage, it looks like a waterwell so it will probably be better in Malmö lol.

Armenia 🇦🇲 - As much as everyone seems to be loving Jako, to me it's rather grating. From what I was able to see I appreciate Jaklin's energy live but that's about it. It doesn't help that it's constantly stuck in my head while I'd prefer it not to.

San Marino 🇸🇲 - This just doesn't do anything to me. Feels almost too funky while I thoroughly enjoyed the heavier vibe of Arcadia. Maybe that's unfair to compare so much but I can't help it. In a weaker year I wouldn't mind for Megara to qualify but this time maybe make some room for better songs (Latvia please?).

Iceland 🇮🇸 - Jak do tego doszło nie wiem/How did it come to this? The results of Söngvakeppnin left me speechless this year and the drama afterwards left a very bad taste. Scared of heights is not a super bad song after all but it's biggest mistake is blandness. A sure NQ that I will not cry for.

Bad:

Albania 🇦🇱 - The revamp took all the kick and power out of this. The rap part turned into a shadow of itself. Contrary to many, I don't mind the language change. I can't say I liked the song before, I like it even less now. I do appreciate the mv though, it's so crisp.

Czechia 🇨🇿 - I'm sorry, I just can't ignore the live when judging this. Even if I did I still don't think Pedestal would end up much higher. I don't vibe with the shouty chorus and an nth rendition of the Mugler suit this year, the visuals in the mv are much more pleasant though and I'd like them to go that direction in Malmö.

Malta 🇲🇹 - The revamp broke it, I'm sorry. What else can I say? Didn't like it before, like it even less now. Case similar to Albania.

Georgia 🇬🇪 - This track is so noisy and overproduced that I can't remember the melody line even after multiple listens. Too dynamic, too much of everything all at once. I guess the song is not that bad, I just dislike the fact that it takes effort to make a song this overloaded and yet Georgia succeeded.

Moldova 🇲🇩 - I know I said that was the only option for Moldova but I can't help but skip this one every time it comes up on my playlist. The only catchy part is the chorus melody, all without words. I actively dislike the live performance, there's something disturbing in the way they all look and move the same way.

Germany 🇩🇪 - Eh. Every time I listen to this I physically cringe at the sound of the elephant in the chorus. The supposedly African inspiration feel disingenuous and very 2010s to me. James Newman fate is what I predict awaits this entry.

[bookwyrminspiration]

okay alright. onto uhhHHHH. DO i have thoughts about it. AM i coherent. here for now until my brain reboots (i was looking up paper girls trailers like WAS this show actually good for like ten minutes and it threw me off)--this shall be an all over the place ask by the way--: jorat is SO INTERESTING i am FOAMING AT THE MOUTH. CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO GET ENOUGH DETAILS ABOUT THIS COUNTRY TO ANALYZE THE EVERYTHING. the respect for the horses!!! FIREBLOODS!!!! their honor code (and all the ways that the antagonists continue to perform offenses against it)!!!! the environment!!! the SKIN MARKINGS!!!! just GRAHHHHH. AND THEY HAVE AN ENTIRE TRANS FESTIVAL. obviously the country is not w/o its prejudices (read: the giant ass xenophobia signs and also the assholes that are oreth's family regardless of who owns who) but it is so interesting to just!!! just the everything it's just everything. the things of idorra and thorra and mares and stallions and the respect you give to people and how everything is based on the herd mindset: what you protect, you own, and all that.

ALSO- STAR! OF CO U R S E HE'S DORNA'S CHILD LMAO. oh man. sad i don't get to see him as a main character taking up more space right now but also yk janel very much takes up the role of that specific kind of character... OH AND! kihrin understanding the gender thing, associating it back with his own culture, when janel finds out who father zajhera was.... What a Scene. i find myself comparing it to jess and morgan sometimes and then other times not... very similar character shapes, but the dynamic is shifted to the left.

Literally! I heard about Jorat and immediately went I need to know everything ever about this country. I love that it's not perfect. It both has these lovely beliefs about gender and has questionable practices alongside that. I made a shitpost about the inclusive misogyny--because it's still a divided country based on gender, it's your internal gender identity that matters, not your physical sex. Which!! Is a fascinating idea!

There is a place in fiction for idyllic, escapist places, but sometimes you want to explore something imperfect but different. To have something interesting and new to question and think through and explore. Jorat wasn't made to be a fantasy it was made to be a place in a fantasy, you know? And places aren't perfect. Jorat is both victim of being misunderstood and disrespected and perpetrator of strict rules and xenophobia against the other countries' ways of life.

and the festival of turning leaves!! in exchange for some community service for a while Galava will literally change your physical sex for you, and not only does this exist but it's cherished. It is a valued and beloved festival amongst the joratese. Jorat I love you. Not in spite of your imperfections, but because of them. Because you are not a perfect place you are a real place with real problems and complexity. Even though I don't want to participate in the idorra/thudaje system it's so fun to ponder

Also shout out to Star! what a fun character even if he's not around very much. Janel does absolutely take up the genderqueer character mantel valiantly, but I wouldn't have complained about having another. Though their are some discussions of gender to do with other characters (specifically Tereath).

it's hard to conceptualize that Father Zajhera scene at first (at least for me) because like...we've just met Janel fully, but thinking back. Holy FUCK. Imagine. The man who saved you and personally attended to you for YEARS after a horribly traumatic incident. a kindly mentor who literally treated your MIND. and he turns out to be RELOS VAR??? that is fucked beyond belief my god...would be very curious to hear more about this jess/morgan comparison though!

[silver-heller]

Hi again! I hope you don't mind me rambling. Also thanks for answering my questions! ^^ (Warning this is really long cause infodump, also a suprise at the end.):

I just dreamed a random dreamed where Wick confronts his sister aka Maristella. And then they reunited after a bit of a talking only of Maristella to syringe over the back his neck in sudden force. Shocking him as he look over to her eyes, they were filled with remorse, something that Wick rarely ever seen. He felt she embraced him tigthly whispering to his ears.

"I am very sorry my dear brother.." She softly whispering. His eyes submerged into to the pit of darkness, sleeping.

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Maristella or Maire in my 'au' called Orchids jewelries.(A temporary name)

A sister of Wick who has been gone for a while, she once wrote a letter to Wick and Susannah (another younger sister of Wick)  that she only been out for a 'vacation' to take a break at her job, however stopped sending letters to them causing her relationship to Wick and Susannah to drift away. (She works as a dressmaker. Credits to my moot who helped me.)

In reality she may have half lied about it. The reason why Maristella haven't came back for like who knows how long, it's because she doesn't want to be involved with the family's drama. And yes she's could've have got married and live somewhere else but she didn't have any interest of those.

Lawrence (Wick's twin) asked Maristella for help as he unintentionally got framed, being accused of it. Hence Maristella helped him in a exchange for a deal.

One is keep the secret to prevent anyone knowing especially the family. Lawrence knows the true reason why Maristella left in the first place because they had been kept contact discreetly. (They used code names, and often go to private places, however since Maire doesn't really wanna go back, Lawrence just wrote a letter or chat her over a telephone.)

So basically I just spoiled my old au that needed some reworking to do, and is the family a bit mess up? Yes. Now infodumping for my oc's aka Wick's hc sibblings:

Lawrence Sable:

He is the eldest twin. His personality is stoic, strict and harsh twisted with arrogance since. His father raised him as the 'perfect man' so Lawrence once a young lad done several things what his father had told him just to get the approval, even it's meant breaking his bones. Until Wick came in part. because he think Wick wouldn't go ruined over his way to become a 'perfect' since Wick is too timid. Only for that to demolish when his father chose Wick over him. Hence he grew a resentment towards the family, moreso gaining a rocky relationship towards his own twin. Summary he is the more colder version of Wick.

While he deeply cares for his family, it's no longer the family he once knew or wanted.

(He's fur color is sliver but with brown undertones, blueish sliver eyes. And has more different markings than Wick usually has.)

(He also feel guilty for almost physically hurting Wick in the past due to releasing his anger, but again he kept his feelings locked. Not really having the courage to say sorry, hence Wick felt intimidated around him.)

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Susannah 'Sookie' Sable:

She is based on the Lackadaisy wiki I just read so this is like my hc of her, unlike Lawrence she's much generous and kind to her family even she knew the heinous side of it. She even comforted Wick once in childhood, after he was forced to shoot a duck, the two buried it to somewhere in the garden together. She visits Wick's mansion often to check him up making sure he has good sleep or have eaten foo. She also greets Lacy too. A mother hen type, she simply refuse to leave until Wick takes a break, that goes same for Lawrence.

I like to headcannon Wick called Susannah 'Sookie' is because for her passion at baking, and that some of the family members loves eating one of her pastries, especially cookies. She and Maristella also used to be really close but grew distant.

(Her design is still not decided, but I want to make her a brunnette, she dyed it over her giner hair. Her fur is much warmer brown color.)

She lives separately from her family, she doesn't really want her daugther to witness the ugly side of it really. Yes Sookie has a daugther named Lumi, Sookie used to be married but soon got divorced because of her husband, who was caught having a affair with another woman leaving her heartbroken.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

Maristella 'Maire' Sable:

Maristella lastly is the youngest but more older than Charlotte (and probably as tall as Wick lol) She's was a former ballerina but soon retired for reasons, which is pure boredom. Maire soon took interest in outfits that were made by her aunt. So she participate on learning historical fashion and soon became a dressmaker. She's more closer to her auntie instead of her own mother, because she felt pressured or irritated whenever their mother is around.

She's seen as a mischievous lady towards her family mainly her 'mother'  because of her "rebellious" personality but she didn't care. She's the person would do whatever she please, sassy and cunning, willing to use her brains in situations. Their father loved her for her fierceness personality, though wished she was a boy instead.

(As the design, shes a lilac point siamese, her outfit would be elegant. Yet she won't hesitate to show off different types of outfit for experimenting, a bold kind of lady whether you like it or not.)

Relationship wise: Lawrence and her aren't best term of getting along well as usually the tend to insult each other's face, the good thing is they didn't killed each other. Which a lot of people questioned but brush it off as they only see it as normal sibblings bickering. After Maire left for a vacation, she and Lawrence had been in contact for a year dealing with well... Not good matters. (The two both wanted to deny the fact they care eachother, and that the reason why they are helping eachother is for business only.)

Sookie or Susannah, Maire thinks she's a decent woman, a kind one. In the past She felt much pride when her older sister admired her performance as a ballerina, they are close, but not as close as Wicks. Sadly she had to cut her connections to Sookie.

Next is Wick, her relationship with him is close really close. She finds Wick humorous and intelligent, at the flip side she finds Wick too.. Gullible for his own good. (Thus her being overprotective of Wick whenever a woman was flirting at him.) Shame again she distant herself towards her family.

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Questions:

1. I wonder how would Charlotte react to Lawrence, Susannah, and Maristella? Especially if Sookie had told her she's a aunt now. (Aka Lumi is now her neice.)

2. Not a question but here are scenarios what I think would happened if Charlotte meets them:

•If Lawrence meet Charlotte, let's say he'll treat her as the same he treat his family, distant. Unless if she get herself in secrets Lawrence has been hiding then sadly he'll won't spare her life, besides he had to finish what needs to be done. (He already dislike her.)

•If Susannah meets Charlotte she would try her best to be nice to her like she always does. But that doesn't mean won't call out the things Charlotte done, she just wish Charlotte learn good values like being humble, instead whatever their father did. If Charlotte misbehave towards her daugther then she will be mad at her. (Threatening "You hurt my daugther, and I'll make sure you'll never see the day of the light again." Kind of.)

•If Maire ever meets Charlotte after or before she disappeared, then she would absolutely teases and annoy the ever life out of her. Will 100% use her as a bait, revenge for stealing one of her dressing she made.

•••••

Edit: man writing this makes me think they have the most deadly silent akward family meetings or dinners (more akward when Maire left for no reason). They may look like a perfect family in outside, but inside you get a whole mess of a flood.

Also the suprise, I drew some fanart btw. A interpretation of Charlotte, the one in the right (I tried my best so feel free to do some changes.) And featuring Maire, the tall lady wearing a bun is in the left.:

Charlotte if she attempt to talk over Maire:

Eve if she did tried intimidating or insult Maire, it wont work otherwise the result wont be pretty, cause Maire is someone you don't just mess around with. And she's definitely going to use Charlotte weakness as her weapon. (Unless half of the sable sibblings minus Wick and Sookie, declare a war- Not really.)

That's all, thanks for listening my rambling, have a good Day/Night! (Feel free to give feedbacks or anything.)

Oooo, I found them all so interesting! Definitely an intriguing and chaotic collective for sure. I enjoy what you did with each of them to really flesh out the family dynamic.

I imagine Charlotte would be distant with the others, I could see her disliking how cold Lawrence is and Marie's rebellious side. I think she'd be jealous of Sookie though, wanting a family of her own.

Thank you so much for drawing Charlotte, I love it! Charlotte definitely deserves to be put in her place a little.

[mintys-corner]

Been thinking about what would the Bullworth staff be like when they were younger and what sort of cliques do they'd fit into.

I was surprised by how much I had to say about Miss Danvers and Dr Crabblesnitch. I had some stuff to say about Galloway and Ms. Philips, Edna and Mr Hattrick, but it turned out way too long so I might a follow-up post for them instead.

Crabblesnitch

Crabblesnitch always was authoritarian, even as a student. He genuinely believes that bullying is a force for good, it just so happened that he enjoyed it. He was the head of the bullies clique back in his day, and terrified most of the students. Despite this, he was able to become a prefect, and later head boy, because he was able to keep his record relatively clean by sticking mostly to methods of bullying that they couldn't trace back to him, intimidating students into not ratting on him and delegating physical bullying to his clique members. That, and the fact that ,aside from his bullying, he had immaculate grades, perfect attendance and participation in many extracurriculars.

Besides encouragement from his mother, he was motivated to become a prefect in order to genuinely improve the school, which he aimed to achieve by instilling law-abidingness by harshly punishing misbehaviour. He was also partly motivated to become a prefect because it permitted him to beat students with a paddle, which he made ample use of. With the permission of staff, he had his name engraved on it and ,upon graduation, he was able to keep his paddle. It hangs in his home ‘til this day.

Dr Crabblesnitch was absolutely ruthless when it came to enforcing school rules and stricter than any prefect since. He used his position to bully students, but he genuinely thought (and still thinks) it was in their best interest in the long-term,  believing that it toughens them up, creates high moral standards and makes them appreciate moments of peace more ,though he isn't introspective enough to critically examine this belief or think about where it stemmed from. He just believes it wholesale.

I reckon that Crabblesnitch grew up in a household where his mother was a staunch disciplinarian and instilled the values he has now, since he says 'it's a tough calling, but a noble one. mother would be proud'. Though it makes me wonder if his father was a present force in his childhood or not. He has a great deal of respect for his mother, though he wouldn't admit this to his peers in fear of being labelled as a mamma's boy.

Crabblesnitch used to do gymnastics, but since most of the student body feared him, they never dared to make fun of him for it ,at least not to his face, or else he’d be more liberal with his paddle next time he saw them misbehave. That, and that fact that he was genuinely great at it. Like, even people who actively hate him have to admit that his gymnastic skills were impressive. He'd stick to a strict, self-imposed dietary plan and exercise schedule in preparation for competitions that his mother enlisted him in, though he never had any plans on becoming a professional.

Since he was a prefect in the '60s, he would definitely call any misbehaving student a hippy or punk ,and would reprimand male students’ if their hair ever reached past their ears or if they even slightly strayed from the uniform. He would absolutely despise hippies and punks. If there was a clique that promoted anything that remotely resembles such ideas, he’d pray to find of them skipping class, breaking dress code or doing drugs; anything that would permit him to paddle them senseless or get them expelled. 'Incense & Peppermints' still elicits a deep urge for violence within him. In order to further distance himself from hippies, and because his mother's influence, he styled his hair shorter, resembling what might've been fashionable a half a decade prior, even if it was considered deeply outdated to his peers. He hasn't changed his hairstyle since.

He likely had a keen interest in history, particularly studying the Spartans, bordering on a nerdy extent, though he'd try to conceal it as being dutiful to his studies.

Miss Danvers

When it comes to Miss Danvers, she's evidently deeply devoted to serving Crabblesnitch, and although he shows some appreciation for her service, he ultimately doesn't reciprocate her feelings. Her unrequited devotion to Crabblesnitch is definitely unhealthy and absolutely gnawing at her. I don't think Miss Danvers was just a normal, emotionally healthy person before meeting Crabblesnitch, and it's likely that this behaviour may be a reoccurring pattern for her.

Although we can only speculate the cause, whether it be because she was put under a lot of pressure from her parents (and with no real outlet, simply became docile and rule-abiding) or in a situation where she had to move place to place and constantly needed to make friends fast, ultimately, it led her forming her identity around being rule-abiding and useful to other individuals. Serving and completely devoting herself to a system/someone makes her feel valued and that she belongs to something larger.

I can picture her finding fulfilment in there being a set of unchanging rules to live and act by, rather than stifling. When she was a student, she might've mostly turned to teachers, prefects etc to resolve conflict, and never really learnt to resolve conflict without appealing to guidelines set by authorities or intervention of rule-enforcers. That may be why her favourite student is Sheldon, a teacher's pet, because he reminds her of herself when she was younger.

I like to picture Miss Danvers as being physically incapable of talking to adults her own age in a neutral social environment. If she put into a normal conversation, she'd struggle to not be bored and just nod along, only pretending to listen. This is because she mostly kept to herself when she was younger and her not really being used to having her input being valued ,so she didn't develop decent social skills. She was either completely friendless ,besides polite small talk with acquaintances, or 'the filler friend', with conversations usually excluding her since was only valued by her 'friends' when she was useful to them.

She'd either chameleon herself into a (rule-abiding) clique, where she'd likely devote herself to the clique leader, but if people distrusted her or disliked her desperate 'sucking-up' ,she'd remain and non-clique who'd behaved like a teacher's pet.

I don't think she has any hobbies tbh. She seems very task-orientated, but not ambitious or passionate about anything other than Crabblesnitch and rules (not necessarily enforcing them, but reminding herself of them, like reading the school disciplinarian for fun), so I'd imagine she'd spend most of her time giving herself work to do, reading over school rules and maybe maladaptively daydreaming over whoever she's infatuated with. It's possible that her infatuation with Crabblesnitch might just be an extension of her love of rules, given that he's renowned for his educational theories, and it's possible that was how Miss Danvers found out about him.

It's possible that she thought of being a prefect at some point, but decided against it because she wouldn't actually want to deal with trouble-makers herself, and would rather just snitch to them instead. She'd probably be on good terms with the prefects, and probably the closest thing she would have to a normal friendship with somebody her age, but could never develop an actual friendship with any of them.

This is kind of shifting to how she is as an adult and just wild speculation, but one thing I noticed is her disliking of Beatrice, saying 'She's such an annoying cheater!' .I'm unsure why she hates Beatrice, since Beatrice doesn't seem particularly trouble-making, but maybe she projects the negative aspects of her school experience onto Beatrice? While Sheldon reminds her of the comfort she found in abiding by rules, strict routine and turning to authorities, Beatrice reminds her of how she was only valued because her friends would ask to copy homework off of her. This might be grasping at straws but whatever.

One thing I thought was weird was that ,according to Hattrick, she 'poisons the head against (him)' ,suggesting that she's sticking her neck out for Galloway I think?? That, and the fact that she says 'Oh, he's been drinking again, I'm certain of it! Someone should really talk to that man' ,which is probably talking about Galloway, but the way she says it makes it sound like she's sympathetic towards him? or at least doesn't want to see him get fired immediately for breaking school rules? Since one of Galloway's lines is 'have you ever been infatuated with a colleague' and Miss Danvers' infatuation with Crabblesnitch, it's possible that maybe they confided in eachother about it? though idk if Miss Danvers would start rooting for him just because of that. It's a bit weird but I just wanted to mention it and I'm unsure what it says about her character.

Another line I thought was a bit strange was 'I don't trust her. She's trying to seduce the good doctor. I'm certain of it.' because I think it's speaking about Ms Philips, since Ms Philips says 'Crabblesnitch's methods are so outdated, it's a travesty' ,so maybe Miss Danvers thinks Ms Philips is either trying to sway Crabblesnitch to be more lax about rules (which is something Miss Danvers doesn't like) or that Ms Philips is trying to romantically seduce Crabblesnitch (which is likely a jealous delusion)

[annthefool]

since i only have 3 oomfs from twt here (n I also assume they dont go on tumblr a bunch) ill just say some of the ideas for the art of the untitled logs I been keeping on my mind for a month now 🤧

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art direction wise: itll be very focused on stippling for the 'pictures' taken by the camera, since pictures look fuzzy n crunchy if you look hard enough, which will be interesting to do with a pen I gotten recently, a pilot 0.38. but for the other ways to go by the art and how it'll be done will be somewhat different. the 'pictures' will be in these rectangular boxes to signify they they were taken by a camera (though not too strict on that aspect since i dont want it to be the same rectangle) but if I'm drawing a character talking from memory it'll be very gestural with simple indicators to what a thing is. a single pen stroke for the hair, n will just look very clean. but if it's of a fight scene then that's where things get interesting.

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i will mainly use printer paper for the 'pictures' n other not very detailed or heavy handed works, but for a fight that needs that sort of reworking because of how I want it to look in the sketch, then the inks, and the (very very Very minimal) color placement will be more important. which i have more somewhat thicker paper I nabbed from school for another use but never got to. and regarding color, I've always been interested in the high contrast, inspired by pitch canker with the usage of reds black n white he does and haruko ichikawa, the mangaka of land of the lustrous. but how I'd intend to use high contrast is for something with a impact or the drama, shock of the sorts, with a whiteout pen for drawing very minimal detail. like if I want to emphasize the face or even the body, showcasing their strength or emotions while they're the black silhouette with the background being one solid color of white or red. but if i do want to draw all the pen strokes n detail then I'd wouldn't do the stippling, it'd be more reminiscent of BLAME! from tsutomu nihei, messy detail and most importantly: Cool as hell. it is the big inspiration for TUL anyway so why not go all out. i use crosshatching for my shading, so it may or may not work out? as crosshatching isnt very known to be Messy, moreso Perfect and Precise but ill manage.

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back to the very minimal color usage I said I'd do: why so? well it may have something to do back to pitch canker again and another visual style that is very much so Cool. at least to me.. let's say I want to emphasize a character bleeding out, ill only do black and white as i actually dont have many pen colors besides the ones I Stole from school or i was given to by my parents, and also cuz BLAME! god damn it! ill use a blue pen, if you're wondering. or a character has a color code in mind, if they feel like a Phosphophyllite cyan then ill use that color to assign them with.

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also. acrylic paint. that high contrast style I'd need to use a better paper for? yeah that's a big reason why, i only have blue Vermilion (because I'm DUMB and didnt realize it wasnt a good shade because walmart is SILLY) yellow black n white. obviously I need to make these drawings all in one thing so it wont be on a canvas. i described the idea I have for creating the one and only TUL book on twitter but I basically need the following: holepuncher, black n white paint, wire, scissors, ceral box, and the Prayer i have if i actually get far into making the untitled logs in the first place. itll be a book all compiled of the loose leaf, printer and slightly better papers all given 5 holes (I don't trust loose leaf with only 3) with maybe 130 pages. 100 pages isn't actually that much if you're making many different scenes in a span of 2 or 3 logs with 10+ drawings in there so, it'll be a moderately ok size for a handmade book made from paper and a ceral box with black paint on it.

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that's the end of the more physical work needed for TUL, and my thought process really (i felt very rambly). thank you.

[itsjustjelly]

The Riptide pirates are literally the perfect trio and I will be explaining why in excruciating detail. They've grown so close that without one of them, they wouldn't be able to function as a group. All three of them are dependant on each other now in the most found family way and I am very emotional about these stupid pirates.

(SPOILERS FOR JRWI RIPTIDE UP UNTIL EPISODE 87)

First and most notably, Gillion Tidestrider. He did dissappear, and we all saw how that turned out for the remaining two Riptide Captains. Gillion is their compass, he points them in the right direction, though more metaphorically and physically. His strict moral code is most likely the only reason they've been able to do as much good as they have. Time and time again he's been there to remind his friends about what makes them good and worthy, keeping them from straying too far off the right path. Without him there, they have no direction, drifting aimlessly until eventually breaking apart.

Jay Ferin is their ship's wheel. With the right direction to go, she's the brains of the captains that makes sure they're not going to get themselves killed. More often than not, she is what pulls them away from certain death. Of the three of them, she has the most common sense, and is often what grounds her crew in reality when they get too caught up in their own heads. Without Jay, they would either have gotten themselves killed through their own impulsiveness ans stupidity, or killed each other through their self-absorbed stubbornness.

Of their crew, Chip is the glue that holds wood beneath their feet, and the very ship they sail on. He is their foundation, and without him, there would be no Riptide pirates. Though he started off in a rough spot, over time Chip has grown into someone his crew can depend on, and he tries his hardest to keep them together. Their ship has splintered and cracked with time, yet he has glued together every break in the ship to the best of his abilities. It's not perfect, but it's proof that he's trying. Without him their ship would certainly have broken by now without him to mend the tears he may or may not have caused.

I also love how, at least currently, none of the Riptide Captains could function alone. Without the only people who have shown him real and unconditional love, Gillion would surely revert back to believing his only worth comes from his usefulness, and with no direction, he would float aimlessly in the ocean once again. As of now, Jay is not in the mental state to face her family alone, and nothing good could come from the inevitable confrontation with her family if her co-captains aren't by her side. Without his crew, Chip would be lost again, only just recently being able to fully let go of the chains he'd put on himself because of Arlin. He'd be alone, again, and there's only so many times the people he love can leave him before he finally breaks.

In conclusion, JRWI Riptide is the best dnd podcast and if you don't listen to it already, you should because it is an experience. Yes it's long, but it is so incredibly worth it. These pirates will live in my head rent free until the show ends, which it won't because I can't fathom the idea of it ending.

[messiisgodibeliveinhim]

In defence of Obi-Wan Kenobi

I recently got into Star Wars and though I'm not one of its biggest fans, i do like the world building, the characters and incredible stories of their adventures to an extent. After watching the prequels, i got hooked with the charcters of Obi-Wan and Anakin Skywalker. I found their story arc really interesting. And i can say now that Obi-Wan is my favorite character in Star Wars.

So after i realize this, i come here on Tumblr, searching up 'Obi Wan Kenobi'. And what do i see? Along with bunch of memes, gifs, fics etc, i see hate posts saying that 'Obi Wan was abusing Anakin', 'He's the worst master in the Jedi Council', 'He didnt care about his so-called 'brother'', 'He's what made Anakin lose trust in the Jedi code and fall to the dark side' etc etc etc. And boy was i surprised😬

Now, i know, by no means is Obi Wan perfect. He had his own set of flaws that result in unfavorable consequences. But going so far as to calling him an 'abuser' is a bit too much, dont you think?

Obi-Wan was a strict follower of the jedi code. He had these set of rules in his life that he followed diligently. He may not have been a perfect person, but he was a 'Perfect Jedi'. The council saw this and trusted him with various huge responsibilities. He was recognized not only as a man of honor and virtue, but also as one of the most skilled and dedicated warriors the galaxy had ever seen.

Anakin was a bit older compared to other younglings when he became a part of the Jedi. To be a jedi, a person has to let go of attachments, fear, hatred, greed and anger. Jedi saw these factors as weaknesses and an easy way to the dark side. And Anakin was not good at lettting go of them very easily. The older he grew, the more he succumbed to it. It is his character flaw, but ultimately that made him who he was. A man who cared for the people closest to him. A man who feared losing them. A man who would do anything to protect them. A man who would go on a vengeful spree because he couldn't handle losing them. His mother, Padme and you might not believe it, but even Obi-Wan is a part of that small group of people who Anakin kept close to his heart.

Why Obi-Wan though? Lets deep dive a bit, shall we?

Yes, Obi-Wan in Phantom Menace did call Anakin a 'Pathetic Lifeform'. He didn't seem to care about the boy as much. He only agreed to train Anakin because his own master, Qui-Gon, asked him to while taking his last breath. And who is Obi-Wan if not a man who keeps his promises.

In Attack of the Clones, you see some friction between the master and apprentice. Anakin did not heed to Obi-Wan's words like Obi-Wan himself had heeded to Qui-Gon's. Anakin, though deemed as the chosen one, didn't believe in following all the rules and regulations of the Jedi. He challenged his master's decisions at times. He blamed Obi-Wan for holding him back. He blamed Obi-Wan for his mother's death. The only reason he even thought of helping Obi-Wan from the arena is because Padme insisted.

And what about Obi-Wan as a master? I'd like to say that he wasn't very attuned to Anakin's emotions. He merely saw him a kid who disobeys orders and does things out of impulse. He tried to be assertive with his apprentice, but it didn't work. And it wouldn't because unlike other Jedi, Anakin was driven by emotions and his heart. Obi-Wan should've used a better tactic here. I'd say that he merely saw him as an apprentice that he cared about but he didnt try his fullest to understand Anakin as a person, give him love and affection which is what Anakin craves. It was merely maintained to be a Master-Apprentice relationship.

But by Revenge of the Sith, things change. Anakin becomes a Jedi Knight and fights alongside Obi-Wan in the Clone Wars. The trust and companionship between them grows. Obi-Wan starts to see Anakin as a reliable warrior and begins to see him a equal while Anakin starts to understand Obi-Wan more and comes to trust and care more for his former master. The star fighter scene at the beginning of ROTS where Obi-Wan and Anakin move in sync, signifies their strong friendship, as described by George Lucas himself. And Anakin refusing to leave behind Obi-Wan when the chancellor asks him to, shows that Anakin had included Obi-Wan in the group of people he loves and wants to protect.

So why does Obi-Wan not request the council to reconsider their decision on making Anakin a master in the Jedi council? In the movie, he doesnt even speak up during the council meeting. He just agrees to what the council says. Did he still not consider Anakin ready to be a Jedi Master? I don't think so. When he was about to leave for Utapau, he reassures Anakin and asks him to be patient. He believed that the council just needs more time to decide on the matter on making Anakin a master in the council. And that is why he chose to say nothing when the council rejected Anakin.

With the war going on, Obi-Wan got too busy to notice Anakin's excessive interaction with Palpatine. He does warn Anakin that the chancellor was not to he trusted. But he does not go out of his way to stop Anakin from meeting him or understand why Anakin was so adamant about Palpatine being a good man. One main reason is that Anakin was not his padawan anymore. He is a Jedi Knight who can make his own decisions and act on his own. But as a friend, maybe Obi-Wan could've checked up on what's exactly happening behind closed doors between his former apprentice and the 'not-to-be-trusted' chancellor.

And everything goes downhill from there.

Anakin starts to mistrust the council, the jedi and the Jedi code. He starts looking at them as his enemies. He feels unappreciated and looked down upon by them. He had almost always felt out-of-place among the Jedi and he then starts to pull away. Not just from the Jedi but also from his former master, Obi Wan. Palpatine had successfully manipulated him to turn to the dark side, reassuring that through the dark force, Anakin can save his wife, which ultimately was the final nail in the coffin.

Obi-Wan during his battle with Anakin says that he failed him. This shows that the Jedi understood that he didn't do enough from his side to stop Anakin from falling to the dark side. You can see the grief in his eyes as he says it. He must have felt that he should've tried harder to understand Anakin, should've tried harder to make Anakin understand, should've interfered when Palpatine was manipulating Anakin to the dark side, should've listened to Anakin when he said he's having nightmares about his mother dying, should've been there for him........ But alas, its too late

So, is he responsible for Anakin falling to the dark side? Partially. Obi-Wan should've done more to help Anakin with his emotions and his pain. Did he completely ignore Anakin? No. He was there to advice Anakin when needed (though his advices have not always been right.*cough* Telling Anakin to ignore the nightmares about his mother *cough*). He kept Padme's and Anakin's relationship a secret, because he cared about Anakin and didn't want the council doing anything awful as kicking Anakin out. He assured Anakin that he was proud of him before he left for Utapau. He had firm belief in Anakin's talents, power and loyalty.

So, coming to the ultimate question? Did Obi-Wan abuse Anakin emotionally? Absolutely not. Was he the greatest master Anakin would've ever had? Not really. Was Qui-Gon a better a master to Anakin compared to Obi-Wan? Yes. Obi-Wan's flaw when it came to Anakin was that he was ignorant. Ignorant to Anakin's growing mistrust towards the Jedi and the code. Ignorant towards Anakin's emotions. And he didn't try harder to stand by Anakin's side.

But blaming everything on him as if Anakin didnt decide his own fate is plain stupid. Yes, Obi-Wan was a small part of the problem, but he wasn't exclusively the only one. So its really weird to me that there are haters who glorify Anakin's turn to the dark side, treating it like it wasn't Anakin's decision in the end and shit on Obi-Wan and making it seem like it was his and his fault alone🙄

Also, unrelated but, i saw a post saying that Obi-Wan is the Mary Sue of Star Wars and that they hate him for it? Like???? Lemme break that down.

'Obi-Wan is skilled in everything'- He trained hard for it, actually. He is one of a few Jedi that have low midi-chlorian count. He wasn't gifted and things didn't come to him naturally. He had to work for it. He can use a blaster in ROTS? Hell yes he can! He was the general in command for thousands of troops during the clone wars for years. There is simply no way he didn't learn how to use them, lmao!

'Everyone loves him'- How can anyone not? Except for the Siths and the seperatists who despised him for his skills and his strength as a warrior. He is not only a dedicated Jedi master and the war general but also known to have followed the jedi code and never strayed from his values and beliefs. He's also a smooth talker and sassy when he wants to be😏

'He has no flaws'- go read the entire essay again.

'He doesn't face any consequences'- Are you talking about the same Obi-Wan Kenobi that we all know? His mistakes partially lead to him losing Anakin. He had also sneaked into Padme's ship, which resulted in her getting choked out by Anakin leading to her eventual death. He blames himself for these. So he decides to sacrifice his whole life to guard Luke, because he wants to make things right and he believed Luke was his way to redemption.

No, Obi-Wan wasn't a perfect man. He could've done a lot of things differently. But this overwhelming bias towards Anakin and a complete lack of empathy for Obi-Wan is honestly strange and doesn't make a lot of sense. You're opinion is opinion, of course, but take some time to think about it. Maybe you'll change you're mind.

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Complete my assignments and projects? No. Write a whole ass essay on a fictional character? A resounding YES!!!!😅😅😅 I wanted to write this for some time now and i finally got down to doing it today. Writing this helped me get a better hang on Obi-Wan as a person and reminded me why i really like his character. Hope you guys enjoyed it too. Feel free to comment and leave notes if i missed out on anything. Take care, y'all!🤗