#in my spn feels today

[soulmates-for-real-tranquility]

🥹🥹🥹

Swan Song Montage (slowed down)

[tb-png]

I BET SAMMY GOT SO ANNOYING AFTER HE GREW TALLER THAN DEAN 😭😭😭

CONSTANT TEASING AND HAIR RUFFLING AND WACKS TO THE HEAD LIKE DEAN USED TO DO SAMMY, BUT STILL THE CUTE LITTLE PUPPY ENERGY FOLLOWING AROUND DEAN LIKE A LANKY SHADOW ALL SMILES AND PRECIOUS 😭😭😭😭

GOD JUST IMAGINE HIM ALL AWKWARD IN HIS BONES AND SKIN WITH CLOTHING HE OUTGREW IN A MONTH SITTING ON A BENCH OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL WALLOWING IN ALL HIS TEENAGE ANGST. AND THEN HE SEES DEAN AFTER A BAD DAY PULLING IN WITH THE CAR AND HE PERKS UP LIKE A PUPPY

[wigglebox]

Solitude 🌙 [x]

[ultra-wack]

Some s1 sams 😁

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

JOAN OF ARC + SAM WINCHESTER: POSTMODERN MARTYRS

Luc Besson, Joan of Arc (1999) | Panthéon, "Jeanne d'Arc ayant la vision de l'archange Michel" | 1.14, "Nightmare" | Anne Llewellyn Barstow, "Joan of Arc: Heretic, Mystic, Shaman" | Susan Visvanathan, "Representing Joan of Arc" | 2.13, "Houses of the Holy" | Robert Bresson, The Trial of Joan of Arc (1962) | John Everett Millais, "Joan of Arc" (1865) | 11.02, "Form and Void" | 1.11, "Scarecrow" |

This is incredibly self-indulgent, but there's an interesting comparison to be made here I think, between Joan as a cultural symbol and Sam as a variant on her. like her - his character also consists of ambiguities. He is both hero and monster/witch, saviour and pariah, transgressive while still fitting into the traditional mold of heroism. And because of their ambiguities, they're also both outsiders.

Joan is isolated because of her steadfast faith, and she's punished for it. She saves France as a young girl in men's clothes, hearing the voices of angels, and gets put on trial as a heretic by the very same Church that would later burn her at the stake. The very same institution to later saint her. Only in death does she get to become a holy martyr, no longer ambiguous. She is the hero with a thousand faces; Catholic saint, patriotic icon, queer symbol.

Unlike Joan, however, Sam's narrative is a horror story on failed martyrdom. He is the saint who never gets to die. His sacrifices never end in closure, not really. he's either stopped at the last moment, or retrieved from the depths of hell. He's denied the certainty that comes with dying, the nobility that comes with becoming immortalised as a memory. His faults are laid out on the altar, time and again, but he's not granted the crowning reprieve that death would afford him.

He holds onto hope and belief in others, clings onto faith in a higher power, whether that power be God or his family - his brother. He keeps faith in others in order to keep faith in himself. And he's let down over and over by that faith. His brother betrays him like a man; his visions come from a demon, the voice of God is really Lucifer in his ear. His own story turns on him like a pillory, trapping him before a jeering audience, unsympathetic to his suffering.

Sam, the heart of it all, more scapegoat than sacrificial lamb. In the end he only gets to exit the story by choosing to trust himself, and live.

[aliusfrater]

i still can't believe i used to get people saying how disappointed they were that i liked sam winchester when i started spn

[adinafay]

[softcannoli]

my insane “watch all of supernatural in a month and a half” project is starting to wear me down a little, to the surprise of probably no one

[cascigarette]

it's really interesting to me how they wrote and how jarpad played sam's trauma from the cage through the soulless sam arc and the hallucifer arc. like when he's soulless he's very much like dissociated out of body hypersexual kind of trauma response with memory gaps and no real sense of self. when he gets his soul back he does sort of a 180. he's overwhelmed, he's hallucinating, having intense flashbacks, using self harm to ground himself, feeling hyposexual, he can't help but remember. I just find it interesting to see his initial trauma from the cage and how it changes over time, how it changes him

[hells-plaid-angel]

Destiel Pride: Day 15- Healing Touch

[castielsprostate]

happy fimmf put your fingers in my mouth middle aged man!!!!!!!

[orpheuscas]

when cas pulled dean out of hell, that was orpheus venturing to the underworld to save eurydice. they spent twelve years walking out of hell together. cas couldn’t turn around—he couldn’t have the one thing he wanted more than anything. and when cas finally did—when he said i love you—when he succumbed to the thing he’d wanted all along—that was orpheus turning. that was sending dean back to hell. all that time clawing their way up, and orpheus still left without eurydice. and cas still left without dean. and dean was damned, then, to never getting his happy ending.

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

like, ultimately, spn could never actually break the cycle of abuse and familial violence, bc to truly break the cycle would've required its writers to have the radical imaginary to look beyond the status quo. the show just reifies the idea of a paternal authority over the world. god dies but he has to be replaced you see, but it's okay, it's someone better now. family is hell but now family is also heaven.

[seenthisepisode]

this haunts me

[adinafay]

[flugame-mp3]

girls when they have a crush moodboard