#in my own words: the vocal minority won!

[lunadude1996]

Good luck getting me arrested or even in a mental asylum without admitting that Leah Hennington (aka @shittirishaterssay) revealed her real name via paypal without knowing... (her words not mine) After all this time, I finally won! @pepsi-al @malama-art @weirdgirl92 @dbzebra @red-rose-corner @pokenoire @themattress @cbcanime @saturnniidae @randomtheidiot @stuffamourshipperssay @ultraericthered @skytroops

[iuteamstarcandy]

[TRANS] Last Fantasy Album and Song Introductions

ALBUM INTRODUCTION

IU, who filled the whole world with ‘Good Day’ last year, is finally coming back with a new album for her fans. IU's new album [Last Fantasy] is a full-length album that she has released 2 years after her 1st album [Growing Up] and this album was produced by Cho Young-chul, who created the ‘IU Syndrome’ last year. Producer Cho Young-chul focused on approaching and expressing IU's musicality in more diverse ways through this album.

The meaning behind the title of the new album, [Last Fantasy], is that the album depicts all the thoughts, imaginations, and fantasies of IU as she looks upon the beginning of her 20s, in this moment at the end of her teenage years and the album contains various sides of IU that music fans want from her through her songs. This 2nd full-length album, which contains a total of 13 songs, attracts much attention with the participation of the best musicians and composers in Korea. Musicians who need no further explanation, including Kim Kwang-jin, Yoon Sang, Jung Jae-hyung, Lee Juck, Kim Hyung-seok, Jung Suk-won, Kim Hyun-chul, Yoon Jong-shin, Lee Min-soo, Corinne Bailey Rae, G. Gorilla, and Ra.D, all participated in IU's full-length album.

As this is IU’s first full-length album in a long time, she put in all her efforts and sincerity from many different angles, to make the album more perfect. In addition to putting her own self-composed song on the album, IU participated in writing the lyrics for a number of songs, showing a more mature side to her musical sensibility and carefully considered what the right tone would be for each song, as she did her best to improve the completion of the album.

First of all, the first track, ‘Secret’, is the work of composer Jung Suk-won, showing intense charm as a song that opens the door to IU’s second full-length album. Featuring an arrangement that emphasizes a clear story development and contrast, the song begins with IU's clear tone and a lyrical melody, then develops gradually with vocals that become more powerful and the grand sound of rock opera. Standing at the center of the song, IU showed powerful vocals that led all the music with her. The second track, ‘Sleeping Prince’, is the work of Yoon Sang, a composer who brought out IU's deep emotions with ‘Only I Didn't Know’. This song, which was brought to life again with an innocent charm that only IU can show, allows the listener to experience clear and bright emotions as if one were watching a fairytale. Just like how composer Yoon Sang felt that it was fortunate that IU sang this song when she was a teenager, IU's cute vocals and the warm arrangement meet to produce this high-quality song.

The third track, ‘Holding a Star in My Heart’ is a song by Kim Kwang-jin that conveys a deep sound that cannot be described with words. IU's vocals that sound like she is calmly reciting the song, together with the slow-flowing melodies, give a comforting feeling and Kim Kwang-jin's voice at the end of the song is touching to hear. The song, infused deeply with composer Kim Kwang-jin’s unique emotions, appeals to different generations. The fourth track, ‘YOU&I’, the title track of this second full-length album, is a collaboration between composer Lee Min-soo and lyricist Kim Eana, who created ‘Good Day’, and conveys IU's diverse emotions and upgraded musicality. ‘YOU&I’ is a song that once again showcases the charm of IU's vocals, with a mysterious and strange concept of a teenage girl who travels through time into the future. With a composition that crosses minor and major chords, a musical arrangement that stands out with its colorful and fantasy-like feeling of real sound using instruments rarely found in pop songs such as harp and horn, the song also allows you to experience IU's diverse vocal expression ability.

The fifth track, ‘Wallpaper Pattern’ is the work of composer Yoon Jong-shin, which shows IU's subtle emotions. It is a song that combines lyrical melodies with IU's warm tone and IU's interpretation of the song stands out as she perfectly interprets poetic lyrics that express ordinary emotions experienced in our daily lives. In particular, composer Jung Suk-won participated in the arrangement, giving it a more detailed sound. IU's song of encouragement for all the uncles in the world! The sixth track is ‘Uncle’ with composer Lee Juck. This song was completed with a discussion between IU and Lee Juck and IU's ‘aegyo’ (cute) tone captures the hearts of uncles along with the bouncy melody of the song. Lee Juck's rap made by IU's forced(?) request and IU's shout-out to her uncles are highlights to pay attention to in the song.

‘Wisdom Tooth’ is the work of composer G.Gorilla, who is loved by fans for his unique emotions, and is a song about the heart of a girl who suffered the heartache of her first love. As it is her first love, IU participated in writing the lyrics, to express more strongly the heartache from the perspective of a teenager in a pure and fun way and IU actually wrote the lyrics of the song after talking to her mother, expressing her honest feelings. ‘Everything's Alright’, the eighth track with a fast tempo and exciting feeling, is the work of composer Kim Hyun-chul. The song, which depicts the cold atmosphere of fighting with a lover, brings out that atmosphere by combining the warm sound of the actual performance and the harmony of IU and composer Kim Hyun-chul, who also featured in the song, and has a charm to it that leaves a lasting impression.

The ninth track, ‘Last Fantasy’, is the work of composer Kim Hyung-suk, and sounds even larger in scale than you would imagine a movie soundtrack to sound like. This song, which contains the grandeur of the 50-member orchestra, is a grand song that lasts more than six minutes and overwhelms its listeners. It is an impressive song that expresses IU's present state at the end of her teenage years with lyrics that ask someone to hold her hand so that she doesn’t fall into her dream when she opens the door to reality. The tenth track, ‘Teacher’ is by composer Ra.D, which IU also participated in writing the lyrics for. It is a song customized for IU from the start and a lot of time was invested in writing the lyrics to include all kinds of thoughts and concerns that 19-year-old IU had. The calm acoustic sound and emotional vocals of IU and Ra.D are combined to complete the charming song.

The eleventh track, ‘The Abandoned’, is a self-composed song written by IU. ‘The Abandoned’, which gives the feeling of a deep darkness, is a song that IU has worked on for a long time, and goes contrary to the bright side of herself that she has shown so far. This self-composed song by IU brings out her deep inner emotions that we never imagined her to have, instilling another kind of expectation from her fans with regard to her potential. The twelfth track, ‘4AM’, is a song by British singer-songwriter Corinne Bailey Rae, with lyrics written by IU and the song was completed with a collaborative effort between the two. The lyrics draw attention with their depiction of the unstable emotions at 4 a.m. and IU's deep vocals that she has not shown before allows the song leave an impression on the listener. IU sang this song by Corinne Bailey Rae, a musician she has said she loves the most since her debut, and that makes the song mean a lot to IU.

The finale of the full-length album, ‘L'amant’, is a song that allows the listener to experience the musical emotions of composer Jung Jaehyung as they are, through his work. IU’s mournful and thick vocals that flow through the sorrowful jazz melody add to the flair of the song. This song, which was fully completed with IU’s song interpretation ability, is a song that allows us to imagine the future of IU who shows that she can pull off a variety of genres. IU's second full-length album can be said to be a record that will remind the digital music generation of the ‘value of the album’ just by the team of participating musicians and the high quality of the songs. Let us all listen to the ��charm of music’ that IU, who is highly anticipated by fans for her musical ability that combines musicality and popular appeal, will present through this album.

Translated by IUteamstarcandy

Source: Melon

[urdepressedslut]

All I know ❝part two❞

☆ Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC/The Winter Soldier x OC

☆ Summary: Bucky remembers something from his time in HYDRA, who is she?

☆ Warnings: dark themes, angst, trauma, torture, self harm

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | 18+

3 Months Later

Gasping awake, skin blue, the girl frantically looks around, forgetting where she was.. again.

She had lost track of when she saw anybody, or heard anyone for that matter. It was like everything disappeared, no noise, nothing.

It was driving her utterly insane, the missing whirring of machinery and screams of other people, everything had faded into silence. The unfamiliar sound of nothing only leaving a slight ringing in her ears, letting her hear the blood flowing through her veins.

Like others captured in HYDRA, she wasn't normal. She had undeniable one of the strongest abilities, immortality. Although, she did not heal fast. Like any other person she healed at a human rate, except death would never be an escape.

Even though her time here with others had been far from nice, she needed human interaction. She craved any touch even if it was violent. Now with her trapped in this concrete prison, she would suffer the wrath of her own mind, filled with twisted thoughts of many peoples nightmares.

She was so distressed the song had done little to comfort her, knowing punishment would be a reward for her next move, she was desperate for anything.

Screaming at the top of her lungs, she ripped her vocal chords, letting her voice bounce off the empty facility. She replayed the cry over and over, hoping someone would hear and free her from this hell.

After a moment listening for the familiar pounding steps, she heard nothing.

Letting the tears fall, she sobbed, not caring how loud she was considering she was all alone in the whole place. Screaming and crying she scratched at her arms, nails digging into her sore flesh that had yet to heal from past punishments.

Scooting closer to the wall, she began to slam her head into the concrete, not satisfied til she heard cracking, therefore she slammed it harder and harder until the black spots in her vision won and she welcomed darkness.

3 Years Later

BUCKY'S POV

Adjusting his black ball cap, he scanned the area over and over, paranoia the cause for his cautious behavior. He had been taking in and learning so much himself, unsure of new memories that came the longer he stayed hidden away.

Adjusting his backpack as well, he made sure to keep his bag with him at all times, keeping a notebook close just in case something were trigger another memory. Desperate for a normal lifestyle he could never have, he craved to one day try and have something even semi close.

Bucky walked down the street, relaxing as he came to a stop to the familiar fruit stand. Taking a close look at some clean looking plums, he exchanged some words between him and the owner. Bagging the plums for Bucky, the owner handed over the fruit with a gentle smile that he was not used to but gladly accepted, this new kindness was foreign to him.

Only after a couple steps away from the stand, Bucky got the familiar fuzz around his vision and the flashes of a memory. Squeezing his eyes shut quickly, he opened them soon after and walked to an empty alley in need of a notebook.

Scanning the area quickly he adjusted himself against the brick wall, leaning against it and pulling out a notebook quickly, as more flashes of memories came rushing.

A young girl, skin like porcelain walking close to my side facing forward with focus. I gripped her arm making sure to keep her in place, my grip slightly too tight.

Sensing movement, I glanced slightly to the girl noticing how she took in the lack of guards in the area and turned her innocent eyes into mine, catching me staring slightly.

Continuing forward she focused back to the pathway in front and spoke quietly, only for my super soldier senses to hear.

"I like your hair.. it looks super soft today."

Shocking me with her words, I stayed silent. She giggled to herself, which made my chest spark with warmth, the sound pleasing to hear in such a horrible place.

"Reminds me of a puppy.. I think I like puppies."

She trailed off, sounding unsure of what her likes and dislikes were. My chest jumped uncomfortably, a sense of unknown protectiveness rushing through me. But even though she spoke little, her words were kind..

Finishing the last word of the small confusing memory, he put his pen away and closed the book. Stashing it away with the others in his bag.

He furrowed his brows at the memory, one that was from his time at HYDRA. It was confusing, but the only other thing that disturbed him was the girl.

He couldn't remember any names, or how someone like her could even be forgotten in the first place. Bucky was shocked to remember such a angelic face in a torturous place. It pulled at his heart wondering what her fate had been, if it was quick, or if she was still..

Bucky stopped quickly, rubbing his eyes. He couldn't possibly think about the fact that the girl could still be trapped or worse.. dead.

It was unfair how many lives had been ruined and lost to HYDRA, but for some reason her face seemed to give some unknown strength to Bucky. Making him want to go back there just to answer his dreading question.

GIRL'S POV

Letting her eyelids slowly open, she took in a shaky breath. She was sure she died of starvation, again. It was maybe the 85th time? No 91.. She had no clue, all she knew was that her body was failing her, but her ability torturing her, not allowing herself to stay dead. She had lost any personality she had, she was a walking corspe. Well, crawling corspe, she hadn't stood up in.. years? She didn't know.

With a burn starting in her nose, she started to cry. Tears falling freely down her cheeks, she was tired and in pain constantly. She wanted to be free of it, she had given up long ago. She couldn't even remember the song she loved so much, a part of her dying with the loss of the memory the kept her together for so long. Letting her eyes shut, she wasn't visited by any monsters in the dark, she was truly alone, nothing reminding her of anything she was. No past, no memories. Just now.. Alone.

Using a sliver of energy that she didn't have, she sat upright and leaned against the wall. Letting her head mix with the cold of the concrete. She positioned herself, to stare at the door, hoping one day that it would open, she didn't care if they came in to drag her to the room of pain, she wanted to leave this suffocating hell.

Slowly she let herself fall into a mindless stare, keeping her eyes trained on the door, but her mind had already left her. Her eyes grew grey and cloudy, them not focusing on much, instead everything getting blurry. Her brain felt like mush. She would rot in this cell, she knew it. That thought alone brought a fresh wave of tears spilling down her cheeks. She wanted.. something but she wasn't sure what. For now she was lost in her own mind, confused at everything and anything.

She was so lost, she hadn't heard the rusted door creaking to her cell, she didn't hear the grunt.

BUCKY'S POV

The last cell he approached, was shut tight. The door seeming untouched just like the rest of the place. The little window was smeared with red, making it unable to see through. His stomach flipped, anxiety growing in his gut. Just like every other door opened, he was afraid of what to find inside, but so far they had all been empty, this could be just another haunted room.

Turning the handle with his metal arm, he twisted and grunted as the door was much harder to open than the others, but with some force and strain, he was able to pull it open. Letting his eyes adjust to the dim grimy cell, his eyes finally landed on the small figure leaning up against the wall in the right corner of the room. His heart about stopped, his body going into shock and freezing on sight. His memory, the girl.. it was her.

Taking her in immediately he noticed her unfocused eyes that were oddly on the doorway, but the way her eyes stayed cloudy, no thoughts behind them. He frowned at her sickly looking skin. But what had hurt the most to look at was the steady stream of tears flowing down her dirty cheeks, she was in pain and had been for god knows how long. The fact that she hadn't brought attention to Bucky entering the room was alarming.

He didn't know how to approach her, or what to do. He wondered why he had come here, it was a mistake. This girl wasn't his problem, he doesn't know how to take care of himself, let alone another person. Bucky recovered from those thoughts, he was here.. he had found her. Whether he liked it or not, she was his problem now. He chose to answer his dreading question ever since the memory he received.

Letting himself focus his eyes back on her, he was shocked to see that her eyes were wide and staring at him. She was crawled back further into the corner almost like she was trying to hide. Her body shook slightly, she seemed terrified and unsure of what was happening.

A/N: Thank you @foreverrandomwritings for beta reading this for me!

[acourtofthought]

I think Sarah is really taking Elain out of the background and preparing these crumbs for her story.

Because I don't see her having a story now, I think she'll still earn extra focused just on her like Nesta won too.

Like, Lucien is still quoted a lot when he talks about Elain.

Like I don't see him being a big deal when Rhys brings up Lucien and his contacts if Elain wants to hook up with someone else.

But I remember that Lucien is always remembered for the contacts he has, he is more diplomatic and Elain also has this profile.

Lucien still has signs of becoming a High Lord and is now set on Springspring and I think he'll need him to raise the Court.

I do agree that SJM is slowly pulling Elain out of the IC by demonstrating how as much as she tries, she still doesn't quite fit there.

And I do agree that if Elain were to tell Lucien she was interested in someone else, he would step aside.

However I personally don't think she or Lucien needs any extra focus when you consider there wasn't a whole lot that built up Nesta's story in SF. I think most of us knew she'd end up in the NC and with Cassian but I don't think there were major hints that she'd end up leading the Valkyries. There were some minor hints in ACOFAS but there was a lot of her story that was unknown before it happened. I don't think we had any idea she'd find the Trove items, make her own made weapons or defeat Lanthys, stop Feyre from dying, work in the library.

In comparison, I think SJM has done a very thorough job of setting up both Elain and Lucien's journey in ACOSF. Even before that but in SF she seemed to give us a very clear path that those two will be taking.

In ACOWAR / ACOFAS, we found out that both Vassa and the other girls Koschei captured will need to be freed. As a result of those books we know he needs to find out about Helion, discover his own powers, decide where he'll be living and we know that Elain needs to explore her powers as well as share her own thoughts on having been made, losing Graysen and losing her father (versus everyone telling us how she feels) but in SF, SJM really hammered a few things home. Spring is falling apart, Tamlin isn't getting better and Lucien is now permanently stationed there. Then Nesta says if they were talking she'd tell Elain to go to Spring, that it had been MADE for someone like her. So yeah, I think those two are going to be very important in getting Spring back up and running so the rest of Prythian no longer has to worry about the weakened court being up for grabs (especially when it comes to Beron), and they'll be able to count on Springs military if it comes to a battle of any kind. That's a pretty major plotline and what more could SJM tell us about it that she hasn't told us already?

Then we have Lucien setting his target on Koschei and Nesta wondering if Elain would go to the continent. And not just the continent where the flower fields are but the continent to the south of that (where Koschei's lake most likely is).

In SF Lucien is showing some exasperation over the way things with Elain are "I'm not always in this city to see my mate. The last two words dripped with discomfort" which is very similar to Cassian's thoughts on Nesta in ACOWAR "Not everything in my life is about your sister, you know". However he still looks at her with longing (again, exactly like Cassian looked at Nesta in ACOWAR).

Then in her SF bonus chapter, Feyre thinks of the gift Lucien gave Elain last Solstice and says they'll focus on helping one sister before helping the other (after SF, I'd consider Nesta "helped").

To me, Lucien and Elain are way more fleshed out than Cassian or Nesta ever were before their own book. We might not have insight into their thoughts the way we did Nesta as Nesta was very vocal about certain things but in terms of plot, we've been given much more setup for them.

And if we didn't get major insight into Elain's thoughts in either of her sisters books, if the dialogue was lacking with the very people she grew up with, then there's definitely not going to be MORE dialogue for Elain in a Gwynriel book. Elain walked away from Az when she returned his necklace and I don't think they're going to suddenly be opening up to one another as best friends. At some point maybe they'll have a conversation apologizing for their misunderstandings and acknowledging that they were both trying to avoid their problems by their interest in one another but I still don't think they'll be having any regular heart to hearts.

As far as Lucien needing more focus before his own book; Cassian was already somewhat settled in the IC, his job was pretty set, his friends are set, his powers known. Lucien has so much of a story to tell (Jesminda, his relationship with Eris, his estranged friendship with Tamlin, not having been able to see his mother in who knows how long, the new friends he just met, the fact that he still can't enter Autumn without Beron trying to send his brothers to attack him, unknown powers, unknown father, unaccepted bond, lack of a permanent residence, etc), he could carry his own book at this point.

I think Elucien as the next book is more likely though I think either Elucien or Gwynriel is a possibility. However I don't think any of the characters need more focus before getting a story. SJM has given brand new characters a POV and love story so obviously Elain, Lucien, Gwyn and Az are light years ahead of that.

Though, I've said it before and I'll say it a thousand times more, the thought of Az getting his HEA before Lucien after how negative he's been towards Lucien does not sit right with me 😂

He threw a tantrum in his POV, not feeling guilty at the thought of killing Lucien, feeling entitled to Elain because his brothers got sister mates so why didn't he, claiming Lucien will never be good enough and I just can't imagine that SJM would be all, "oh you poor little boy, here, have your own HEA with your mate so you feel better!" without him first eating a bit of humble pie after seeing Lucien as a ridiculously powerful High Lord in waiting whose mate thinks he's more than good enough.

[happymetalgirl]

Sleep Token - Take Me Back to Eden

Sleep Token seems to be the first thing that's really got the metal world talking this year; it's certainly noteworthy that it's the first thing that's got me talking here during this busy year. I didn't do a year-end list last year or even shout-out my favorite albums (which I still should), but after all the lead-up to this album and all the spicy discussion and hype surrounding the band and after finally hearing it in full, I felt motivated to dust off the blog and say in way more words what I'm sure someone else has already said somewhere.

There are a lot of opinions on this album and this band, and they are very much a love ‘em or hate ‘em kind of band, especially with this new album. There’s a very obvious comparison that's been drawn with regard to the hype (some of which I would agree with the haters does seem pretty artificial) around Sleep Token being the next big thing in metal and the more traditionally-minded metalheads being very resistant to them. And that comparison is Ghost. There are definitely parallels there: the anonymity, the lore, Loudwire creaming themselves over them. The comparison to Ghost makes sense on those grounds, and despite the loud minority of haters, after 5 albums and a decade of continuous meteoric rise in sales and increasing venue sizes, Ghost has undeniably won. They did become the next big thing. So, is Sleep Token destined to the same auspicious fate? Are they the next big thing?

The problem with the comparisons to Ghost is that Ghost kicks ass.

I won't bury the lead any longer, this album is way overhyped. I've said it plenty, but I'll say here again just to re-emphasize, I'm no puritan; I like metal adventurous, bold, experimental, unafraid to eat of supposed forbidden fruits like hip hop or pop music, which is clearly the ethos Sleep Token are going for. And on paper, a bold fusion of progressive metal, modern R&B, and swaggering pop music is definitely intriguing, and I'd love to hear what that sounds like someday, because that's not what we got from Sleep Token on this album.

What Sleep Token presents themselves as being what they actually do on record are two rather different things. Sleep Token's primary selling point as the next phenomenon apart from the pseudo-mystical lore and anonymity is the uniqueness of their sound. They do get credit for the uniqueness of the list of ingredients, but a unique sound they do not. And that's because they have several individual sounds that they bounce back-and-forth among, and none of them are at all unique. The handful of modern post/prog-metal sections don’t vary much from each other and aren’t really stylistically unique on their own or even that exhilarating. Most of the time we get either middling rock instrumentation, which is effectively background noise and nothing more than filler stopgap material, or tacky synth pop or trap beats. Neither are made any more evocative by the superficial addition of the synthetic orchestral elements that get peppered into the track list.

There are a lot of various gripes about the album from the haters, and some of it I don’t mind. I don’t mind the R&B-styled vocals, overdone as they can be in some places. I don’t mind (most of) the lyrics, obtuse as they can be. I don’t even mind the clean, polished production too much, but it is compressed to all hell and it doesn’t help with the nonsensical dynamics of a lot of these songs, which leads me to my biggest problem with this album. The compositional direction across the board, from the straightforward post-metal slow-builders to the tacky pop tunes, is aimless and clumsy.

It is so obvious even on the first cursory listen that Sleep Token did not really put much into constructing this album beyond the broad ideas, cutting corners on pesky tasks like song-writing thinking the supposed novelty of the sound would carry the project on its own. Yet for all its commitment to modern R&B, there’s hardly any of the actual cool or sensual appeal there that the band is kinda hinting at. For all the artificial bombast, this album washes over as mindlessly as your average atmospheric-djent/alt-metal project. And for its “bold” implementation of modern pop elements and stylings, of which there is quite a lot, there’s almost none of the basic compositional pop sensibility or even the reluctant memorability of pop music, which leads me to what my other big problem with Take Me Back to Eden, the way they approach pop music.

I’ve been critical in the recent past of the forays into modern pop by the likes of Bring Me the Horizon, Architects, and Bad Omens, not on principle, but just because they tried too hard to fit into the radio-friendly mould that so often led them to awkwardly imitating the likes of Imagine Dragons, Bon Iver, or god-forbid Maroon 5 to make sure their pop-crossover intentions flew over like a lead balloon. And it led to dull song-writing to accommodate the signaling of the intent for a broader appeal. But for all my criticisms of those bands, at least they still tried to bring over some of their performing vigor to their style. Sleep Token, however, overplay their hand on a superficial, overdone swagger that has nowhere near the stamina needed for the 64-minute album they present, and the result is over an hour of awkward toggling between imitative pop-R&B on autopilot and generic alt-flavored post-metal on autopilot.

It’s been said by others and it’s gonna make me sound like such an “elitist” when I say it too, but it’s true, this thing arguably hardly a metal album. Sometimes you’re waiting through several minutes of flubby R&B crooning and trap high-hats until halfway through for distorted guitars to kick in on songs like “Ascensionism” or “Granite”, which sounds like if Five Finger Death Punch were to try their hand awkwardly at an swaggering R&B ballad for the first 2/3rds. And sometimes when the guitars finally do show up after the generic synthetic pop beats, they’re a dull, faint drone under all the other instruments like on “Rain”, the drawn-out title track, and possibly the worst offender: “Are You Really Okay?”. The closing track, “Euclid”, probably integrates the band’s advertised styles the most fluidly, which is to say, not very; the band toss in some choppy bursts of distortion awkwardly into the rest of the otherwise sappy piano-pop ballad.

Sometimes it’s just straight up pop music. And I don’t mean the simple sugary fun kind of pop music. I mean the mind-numbing, practically AI-generated kind of pop music: the kind that inattentive listeners think is fine, the kind that makes people who actually listen to pop music want to pull their hair out (and consequently also repels most metalheads like skunk spray). I criticized BMTH for this on amo (“Medicine” and “Mother Tongue” gave me flashbacks to being trapped listening to top 40 radio at work). And Sleep Token aren’t any more convincing on their more holistic attempts at pop music. I’m amazed that so many metalheads have seemingly unquestionably eaten up what they otherwise would probably spit right out if fed to them not by a nominally metal band.

For example, “Aqua Regia”: it sounds like Imagine Dragons, and when I say Imagine Dragons, I don’t mean when they’re belting out ridiculously like on “Natural” or on “Believer”; I mean when they’re on their waiting in line in the grocery store kinda shit like on “Thunder”. And then there’s the directionless minimalist electro-pop of “DYWTYLM” that completely wastes 4 minutes on something I could only imagine Adam Levine forcing his audience to sit through. It’s the mindless pop melodrama on songs like this and the more spacey sections of other tracks that make the whole vessel-for-some-deity-named-“Sleep” lore thing seem really goofy. Like come on, this deity is communicating through you via vague pop love songs? I guess that tracks given the kinds of scriptures that the major Abrahamic religions running the world enjoy endlessly re-interpreting in their political favor.

I’ll take a break from the negativity and give the band some points where they earned them. For as overly theatrical as they can be, Vessel is a good vocalist and I hope that none of the critique regarding the vocals leads to any kind of shy retreat into a shell of comfort and decreased expressiveness just to play it safe in the future; I definitely prefer the more over-the-top deliveries on the album to the dry, monotonous mumbling sections. The rest of the band prove their instrumental chops too on the few chances they get to make it count within the heavily washed-out tracklist. Cliché as they are, I love a good down-tuned djent breakdowns, and this album’s breakdowns are okay, albeit pretty damn generic and often truncated. But often they’re just kinda tossed onto the tail end of a song they make little sense in the context of and not enough to get me more into those songs.

As far as highlights in the tracklist, there is a scant handful of moments more so than complete songs that show some clear (or wasted) potential. “Chokehold” opens the album pretty well with some tasty industrial grooves that unfortunately doesn’t get built upon as much as it should have, and “Vore” is a pretty decent post-metal-centric cut with some fast drumming and screams to defibrillate you from the past 2 tracks’ induced coma. And apart from the Ivan Moody-esque ballad-y vocal melody on the chorus, it’s a pretty soaring piece of modern alternative metal. In spite of its slightly excessive length, “Ascensionism” is also one of the more really dynamic and heartfelt alt-metal cuts on the album, and the bursts of metallic instrumentation are actually efficacious and feel intentional on this song.

Though it’s unfortunately the only one on the album, “The Summoning” is a genuinely well-rounded, fleshed-out, solid, and ethereal progressive metal song from beginning to end, including the bass-y groove rock outro. Granted, it does kinda just sound like a TesseracT song, but it’s the one song that both encapsulates prog-metal and seems like there was actual work put into the finer details rather than just a vague idea of the broader composition.

Even on this track though, there’s not really as much of an actual meshing of styles as there is the stacking of styles next to each other, which doesn’t make me optimistic for Sleep Token’s future since they’ve clearly decided their path forward is going to be leaning into being the pop-alt-R&B-prog-metal band phenomenon, when a more standard prog-metal route has produced (and seems like it still would produce) the better results for them. Hell, they’re plenty eccentric enough to carve out a pretty enviable niche in the prog metal landscape and stand a head or two taller than the rest of the crop too. Unfortunately carving out that niche might be a tedious process with no guarantee of success, and with all the attention they’re receiving for what they’re doing now, I doubt they’ll change course.

For all its novelty, Take Me Back to Eden did not hit for me, and that's because its eccentricities are superficial, its composition is heavily style-over-substance, and its "genre-blending" is clumsy and unappetizing. I do think the novelty will wear off before this time next year for all the people hailing this album as a masterpiece, and I hope I'm right about that not just because I like being right or because I want to stick it to over-enthusiastic fans in some snooty/critic kind of way. I just don't want the next big thing in metal to be something that sounds so lazily calculated to pander superficially to the lowest common denominator. I do still have some faith in the sort of meritocracy that is the ears of the people, and the penchant for discovery the metal community still has; the most influential and iconic advancements of the genre continue to emerge out of nowhere rather than being heralded in on a silver platter by a media parade. Think the djent revolution that Meshuggah spurred, or the blackgaze revolution that Deafheaven kicked into full gear, or the surprise revival of deathcore that launched Lorna Shore from C-listers to the top of the game.

When it comes to the publicity that any band gets, especially from the big publications that effectively serve as advertising wings of major labels (hence major publications pretty much never giving major releases less than a 7/10 even if those releases are objectively trash, like Nightmares of the Decomposed), that stuff is shallow and most listeners are privy to it. Like any hype train that’s given a big boost on novelty fuel, eventually Sleep Token will have to run on their own, and I think that once the high wears off, a lot of people will realize it was all just gas. But it does still frustrate me that these pop crossover attempts get boosted and talked up like they’re the acts that are keeping metal alive, like the groveling act of making metal on the terms of fleeting pop trends is what needs to be done to keep metal alive and relevant. That’s lazy and weak and it hasn’t ever been what put metal into people’s ears in the past either, not for thrash, not for grunge, not for nu metal, hell not even for glam. The broader pop music sphere caught wind of what was happening and reached out because they wanted what metal was doing, not the other way around. Metal is a genre built on an ethos partly of exhilarating power, and I don’t think that power should be ceded so much to the volatile trends of the day.

To be honest, I guess it makes me a little worried… Pop music has historically come to metal, seeing all sorts of weird, new, exciting, visceral stuff worth trying to emulate and boost. But now it seems like there’s this big push for metal to go the other way, like it’s out of ideas, like there isn’t any more the genre has left to offer, and like it’ll die out without reaching out to the reliable appeal of pop. It’s been a pretty slow year so far, this is the first thing I’ve talked about and the most discussed album of the year so far, by far. Is this the most exciting thing to happen in metal this year? Is this really the best thing we have to offer? Fuckin’ Sleep Token? I hope not.

3/10

[vedajuno]

So What Have We Learned From All This…?

Seven days and thirty thousand votes later, it’s time to unpack our findings. Does all of this mean anything? Are we any closer to understanding the urges that drive people to lust over the funny water cooler host?

First of all, Pass won. No delusions here. The majority of the population here on Tumblr are NOT having sex with the Jackbox water cooler, as we still seem to occupy a sane and rational world. It’s funny to me that their object-ness didn’t seem to throw off this majority near as often as their forced Jackbox quirkyness was cited to, or the fact that they hold a corporate management position. Most interesting of this group is the MANY different Pass voters who wrote that they actually HAVE witnessed this phenomena of water cooler fuckers arise in their own personal Jackbox groups, in groups of popular video game streamers, or even just in passing online. There is SOMETHING going on here.

(I was also informed by several Pass voters which of the Jackbox game hosts they WOULD like to fuck instead, of which the only host who got mentioned by more then literally one or two people was the “Split The Room” Rod Serling-ish cat man. That checks out, but some special shoutouts are also in order to THIS brave soul.)

The Smash voters still comprised a statistically significant portion of the votes here, fluctuating between 25% and 33% of the vote for most of the poll’s duration! That is at least 1/4th to 1/3rd of the population who would fuck this water cooler!! This number makes a lot of sense to me, especially considering all the observations of it from non-water cooler smashers that we just discussed. Statistically, considering the minimum number of players that can play Job Job is three and the recommended is closer to seven or eight, every Job Job player group will almost always contain at least ONE to TWO people who will be attracted to the sexy water cooler host! That’s pretty much what I expected considering how often I see it happen!

However, there is one part of the way I phrased this poll, right at the end, that seems to have swayed a minority of the vote in two different ways that I really didn’t expect it to, and that’s the fact that I refer to this character as the “water cooler lady” in literally the last three words of this post.

Firstly, this line WAS enough to actually sway a vocally signifigant number of voters! About twenty or so Pass voters, including a LOT of lesbians, admitted that they hadn’t actually read the entirety of the post before voting and that just that last second IDEA of the water cooler being a female WAS in fact enough to flip a switch from “boring” to “actually pretty damn attractive” in their minds! Lots of fascinating psychological stuff on display here, for sure, but also I DO think some of you would fuck a bomb if I put lipstick and a pink bow on top of it. Some of you would fall for some straight up Bugs Bunny antics.

The second, much more surprising and delightful result of this was the many different people informing me that calling them a lady, an assumption I made because of their feminine sounding voice, was actually INCORRECT on my part, BECAUSE-

The Fuckable Water Cooler from Jackbox is Nonbinary!

i know im the one saying this on the “Hear Me Out-“ website but I truly need to understand what specific breed of disease infects peoples brains where every two or three months for the past two years I have come across someone suddenly pledging their undying ravenous horniness and lust towards This Goddamn Thing 👇

[therealgothambychelsealauren]

Chapter III: Poison Ivy

When I started law school, I made sure to draft an Instagram caption for graduation that celebrated how I was one of the 2.2% of Black woman attorneys at law.

It's remarkable to be in a space that few others like me have had the opportunity to experience. However, as grateful and lucky as I feel to be here in law school as one of 17 Black women in my class of over 200, there are some who feel entitled to be here, who feel like the fact that they're here is meant to make some kind of point to the rest of us:

white women.

White women in law school scare the living shit out of me. They come in here like they've won some kind of unsaid competition with the rest of us, or with a self-preserving pride of a presumed Joan of Arc duty - like the fate of all feminism sits on their shoulders.

The white women love taking up space. They love preaching about systems they don't truly understand, like redlining.

In my Contracts class, we've been learning about the racism of Capitalism, how Capitalism is racialized to keep white people wealthy and racial minorities working harder than they're getting compensated/respected for. So many white women in my class hum and nod their heads as our South Asian professor exploits the historical system of racism within capitalism, but it doesn't feel right to me - it's their inherited Joan of Arc complex, it's their fascination with inconceivable oppression that we BIPOC folks have long reckoned with as generational trauma. It feels odd to me that white women would claim to understand, empathize for, and even dare to advocate for the oppression and disproportionate economic starvation experienced by Black people. But they don't know. Maybe they've read a dozen books, maybe they have a Black woman best friend, maybe they worked at a nonprofit in the hood, but they should not feel so much entitlement in assimilating our generational trauma as an educational concept.

And then the white women DARE to leave class and gossip about/share the most racist hot-takes in that annoying ass way that says they acknowledge the racism within their comments but they feel too entitled to keep those opinions within their own heads.

"Not to play devil's advocate, but..."

"Obviously I'm not racist, but like..."

"You just can't ignore the facts..."

To me, the biggest privilege that white woman have is how they are spared so much shame/judgement in sharing their ideas, thoughts, feelings, and convictions - no matter how "woke" or out of touch or narcissistic they may be. White women don't worry about being misinterpreted as acting aggressive. White woman don't have to fear sacrificing their respect or validity to speak out about their own experiences. White woman aren't expected to internalize it when opps tell them they're crazy for what they say or how they feel. White women can be loud and vocalize chaos without being stereotyped and dismissed as "loud" or "rambunxious."

To me, I feel like white women are comparable to the seductive Poison Ivy villain in Batman. I mean, if The Handmaid's Tale were to happen in real life, I could almost guarantee you that it wouldn't be a Black woman who enabled that system to take over.

White women have such a pull on men - and maybe that's half the difference between White women and women of color. White women are wanted by all kinds of men - the poor and wealthy, the educated and non-educated, the white and Black... and Latino and Asian. Shit I mean, Black men have their own negatively-connotated use of the word "female" specifically meant to shame Black women who aren't sexually attracted to them. Black women are literally at the bottom of the foodchain; generationally we've been thrust into a dynamic where older Black women are predisposed to hate and harrass young Black women - we attack and hurt our own kind.

Watching white women learning/working in law and social justice is a lot like watching Poison Ivy seduce Bruce Wayne. They know the power they have and they know how to use it. They don't want the man, but they know how to seduce him and use him for their initiatives; they can hate men so loudly and yet men listen to them.

White women can be outright villainous to men, and yet men still want them, and that's a privileged power that goes too unnoticed.

[and-then-there-were-n0ne]

I don’t normally write off a single tweet but Stella Creasy MP has such a note-perfect professional-managerial class striver take on motherhood that I can’t let it pass unacknowledged. She reports:

As I walk past everyone going to Christmas parties and drinks on my way to get the kids from nursery, yet again acutely aware the motherhood penalty is just a gift that keeps giving…. Not just flexible working we need but flexible networking too…

I found this an uncomfortable sentiment to see in public. I won’t castigate her here for publicly resenting her kids, though, as plenty of others have already done so. What interests me in her utterance is what it reveals about the gap between the women who set family policy, and those who simply live with its fruits.

For those unfamiliar with UK politics, Creasy is the Labour Member of Parliament for the London borough of Walthamstow, and a vocal advocate for liberal feminist causes such as abortion rights and the “gender pay gap”. In other words: very much on board with the notion that “liberation” for women looks unambiguously like the right to enter the market on the same terms as men. But is she right to imply this is universally the case for women? I don’t think so.

In her 2000s research on this topic, the sociologist Catherine Hakim showed that given free choice concerning work/life balance, around 20% of women would prefer to be stay-at-home mothers, and a further 20% prefer to prioritise work. The rest, which is to say the majority, would prefer a mix of the two.

But politics has a structural blind spot where this 60% is concerned. For reasons that should be obvious, the kind of high-achieving women who make it to the top tend to come from the 20% who prioritise work. Some never have kids, but for the ones who do, having to step away from your work to meet your kids’ needs may feel genuinely like a big and painful sacrifice. Creasy had two in her early 40s, by which point she was already a public figure. It’s not hard to see how trying to balance the needs of tiny infants with the demands of Parliament would be extraordinarily challenging. And from that perspective, it would be easy to conclude that what every other working woman needs is the same as what you feel you need: more childcare support and infrastructure, such that no mother ever has to step away from their rewarding and exciting work quite so often.

What such high-achieving women sometimes miss, though, is that theirs is a minority view. Lots of people, of both sexes, don’t have careers; they have jobs. Few of these jobs are as fun and exciting as being an MP. For a great many people of both sexes, even before kids, “networking” is not a thrilling prospect but a dreary chore. (So much so, that in 2022 a Frenchman known only as ‘Monsieur T’ won the legal right to avoid after-work drinks.)

If that’s you, or even if you just aren’t very sociable, needing to be home with the kids doesn’t look like unjustly asymmetrical obstacle to professional develoment. It looks like a blessed excuse to duck out of an evening of dull chit-chat, and professional opportunities be damned. In other words: while Creasy describes the so-called “motherhood penalty” bitterly as “the gift that keeps on giving”, for many happily less ambitious mothers (and there really is, or should be, nothing wrong with having modest ambitions) this is unironically true. Being needed at home really is a gift. And not just in the sense of being rewarding on its own terms, but also in giving the gift of liberation, or at least some measure of opt-out, from the endless, miserable grind of PMC striving.

Or it should. But if you miss this clear diversity of views on the relative value of professional ambition and family life, and take the Creasy approach of focusing all your advocacy for women on liberating us from our kids so we can have an equal crack at the PMC greasy pole, you may end up not just shaping a public culture of maternal resentment, but a legal and economic one that takes this resentment as a baseline assumption. Such a culture simply assumes that every mother is as keen to be out “networking” as the Creasys (Creasies?) of this world, and needs policies to support this. In turn, if you do this, you will end up advocating family policies that “liberate” less ambitious women from their preferences, in favour of yours, while expecting these women to thank you.

In practice, I see this happening again and again, among politicians on both sides of the aisle. Ambitious, high-achieving women who belong to the work-first 20% shape public family policy in line with their own preferences on work/life balance, in the process making it ever more difficult for the 60% to be honest about the fact that they just don’t care so much about work. This has effects well beyond Christmas party season: its aggregate effect is public policy on family, that’s nominally “feminist” while uncritically assuming women’s interests are always served by more childcare, more professional development, and more ambition.

Of course there’s nothing wrong with ambition, and I salute every high-achieving woman for her dedication and success. But there’s also nothing wrong with having a job rather than a career, and making family life the centre of your world. I’m not going to blow up this post with concrete policies that would support the great many families for whom this, rather than the Creasification of working life, is what it’s all about. I’ll just end by saying that there are a great many mothers for whom stepping away from the “works do” to make paper snowflakes at the kitchen table, or snuggle up to watch A Christmas Carol with your kids, is not a penalty. It really is a gift. We could do with more women - and men - in public life who are willing to brave the inevitable brickbats, and speak up for those families.

[bakugohoex]

2 NSFW WITH USHIWAKA 🥵🥵🥵 jus imagining him controlling me makes me horny please

“get on your knees”

pairing: wakatoshi ushijima x female reader

cw: established relationship, nsfw (MINORS DNI, male receiving oral, mouth fucking, biting and marking, spit play, size kink, corruption kink, daddy kink, consential sex, public sex, kissing and praise kink)

word count: 2300+

a/n: hehe hope you like this my lovely and hope everybody likes this as well

summary:  in which after a long strenuous match, all ushijima wants is you in the locker room, begging on your knees

1k event masterlist

↞ back to haikyu!! masterlist

The sound of the whistle blowing as Ushijima spiked the ball right past the other team, the way it sliced through the air in a single motion. You cheered as everybody joined in at the win, starting to already walk down to where the locker rooms where to meet him. Your eyes replaying the way his arm shot upwards, his perfect form, he was a god ready to destroy the other team in a single moment.

You watched the team go into the locker room, Ushijima being the last as you instantly wrapped your arms around his sweat coated body. “You did amazing baby.”

“You were my lucky charm.” He spoke with no tone, but you could feel a rush of emotion run through you as he hugged you back, your head against his chest. “Come in once everybody’s left.”

You didn’t question his words instead just nodding as he walked into the locker room. If someone had told you back in your first year of high school that you’d be dating one of the top volleyball players in Japan you probably would have laughed. But now having a life, a career where both of you were doing what you loved and still so in love after all these years together. You wouldn’t have expected it at all, but you were grateful it had occurred.

You patiently waited as more and more of Ushijima’s teammates came out in a bundle, “oh Y/n, Ushijima still in there.” Kageyama spoke as he was sorting his coat out, you remembered the day he had beat Ushijima, the way you cried at the loss, the inability to go to nationals for the first time in three years. It had been a shock, but he had grown so much and even Ushijima had to admit he was a good setter, amazing even with his perfect sets that Ushijima loved to spike.

You nodded at the boy waving a goodbye as he touched your shoulder as left reassuringly, the team probably going out to celebrate but Ushijima seemed to have other plans. You knocked cautiously on the door, a quiet ‘come in’ coming through the wood as you pushed it open.

Ushijima stood barely covered, he seemed to have just come out of the showers. His hair still damp and beads of water trickling against his god-like body. You couldn’t help but drool at how perfect your boyfriend looked, the towel hanging lowly and a smile on his face.

“And what’s this?” You questioned moving closer to him as you dropped your bag to the floor taking cautious steps.

He looked you up and down before speaking, “we won and…”

He trailed off not wanting to say anything else, you stared at him smirking at how for such a blunt person he was still incapable of confessing what he wanted. “You want me?”

“I want all of you my love.”  He reached out for you as you easily met his arms, his hands moving to cup your cheeks as he bent down to kiss you, “so beautiful…” he mumbled through the kiss.

It made your heart flutter as you spit and saliva mixed together, your hand moving to brush against the towel exactly where his cock was. You felt him groan through the kiss, the way his tongue slid inside your own skimming through your mouth. His grip on your face remained tight as if he wanted you to stay in his hands forever, your fingers moving closer and closer past the towel to brush against the exposed skin.

He let go of you as he stared into your eyes, “get on your knees.” His words were firm as he looked into your eyes, those pretty eyes which always showed him such lust and love. “Be my pretty girl my love.”

His praise always meant so much to you as you nodded out a response, waiting to feel his cock barely fit around your lips. He took a seat, legs spread as he watched you kneel in front of him, “I want to make you feel good Toshi.”

His hand moving to cup your face once more, bending down to give you another kiss as he let go staring at you once more. “Pretty, pretty girl.”

Your hands moved the towel away, it laid away from him as you saw how his cock was already hard for you. Licking your lips, he grabbed your hair making a makeshift ponytail as he watched you look up to him with those innocent eyes that he could never resist.

Licking from the base upwards, eyes remaining focused on his own. His head falling back as he gave a small moan, Ushijima was never the vocal type but the way he tried to hide his moans with a closed mouth made it ever so sweet. He expected you to go slow, that was how you always wet, taking him bit by bit in your mouth, never taking him fully and even if you tried you would never reach his base.

Your lips engulphed his length as your head went lower and lower at every second, “Fuck Y/…” He could barely speak without letting out a moan, the way your tongue swirled against his length as you went further down. His hand around your hair wanting to just push you right down, he couldn’t help it. Couldn’t stop himself as he pushed you down, your nose reaching the base as his cock went to the back of your throat.

His groans filled the locker room as he tugged your hair up in an instant, the way you already looked a mess from taking him all in your mouth. “I’m…so…proud…” Ushijima was breathless, he had never had someone take him all, and to see you with drool around your mouth, his precum already leaking out from his tip. He wanted more, needed more.

Grabbing your hair once more you looked up at him with teary eyes, “I…need you in my…mouth.”

“It’s yours my love.” His voice was soft as you put your tongue out licking at his precum.

In a moment Ushijima’s moans filled the locker room once again, he had given up on suppressing it as he groaned at the way you licked his tip. He needed a release, needed more than your teasing, you could sense it as he tried to push your head lower, “use…use my mouth.”

In a second he complied, taking your head and pushing you back down on his cock, your tongue swirling once again as he moved your mouth up and down. Even if you didn’t go right down to his base again, he didn’t care because taking almost three quarters of him was all he needed for his girl. “Agh Y/n…so good…taking me all…” His words of praise sent an electricity through you.

Your hands on his thighs as your nails went into him, the way you looked a mess and he still thought you were the prettiest woman on the planet. Ushijima could feel himself about to cum, he knew in a second your throat would be filled with him and he couldn’t wait to see it. “To…Toshi…”

You were barely audible as he used your mouth for his own gain, the way his head fell backward as he continued to pull at your hair back and forth to be used up. “Gonna cum in…in your mouth princess…”

You could barely process his words, wanting to taste him all the way his cum went right down your throat on the final tug of your hair. It could barely stay in your mouth as an out of breath Ushijima looked down at your face, “open.”

Complying you hadn’t swallowed most of the cum as he saw the white gush stick to the insides of your mouth. His hands went to cup your face making you look up at him, he wiped the stray cum with his fingers before speaking, “swallow.”

Easily swallowing all of him he gave a look of love at how pretty you looked on your knees. The way your hands stayed on his thighs, cum still drooling out with spit. Distressed mascara as tears had fallen down and your tangled hair that he had abused. He bent down to capture your lips, a soft kiss as his tongue instantly divulged, not caring that his own cum was in your mouth.

He brought you up as he kissed you, making you stand before grabbing your waist and putting you right onto his thighs. Directly where his throbbing cock was, he wanted more, it was selfish, but he deserved it after winning. You knew what he was planning as his fingers moved your skirt up, he was glad you had worn it.

Continuing to kiss you as his other hand grabbed your breast through the fabric of your shirt, your mewls for more were far more audible than his own moans. You couldn’t help it as his fingers toyed with your damp underwear, sliding back and forth between your clit as he felt you become wetter and wetter by his touch.

“Want…daddy’s cock…” You could barely speak as the kiss ended the way his mouth moved to your neck in an instant.

Ushijima couldn’t lie and say he didn’t like the nickname but the way you looked so small on his lap, unable to take him all by your mouth and knowing he was going to split you open. He needed you, “okay my love.”

Moving your underwear down your legs, he spat on his fingers as he put it onto your slick filled cunt and clit, you had gotten wet by sucking him off. But he needed to make sure you were wet enough to take him all, you grew impatient whining before finally moving onto his lap.

The tip of his cock directly in line with your cunt, “fuck…” He could barely speak as moans filled the locker room as you slowly went down on his cock. “Taking…me so well.”

Your head fell back as his arms were at your waist, your moaned loudly as his own mouth went to your neck leaving more marks and bruises right across your pretty neck.

“Too…too big…” Feeling split open as you went further down, your cunt being stretched out to try and get him all in you, you couldn’t help but feel split in half.

“Pretty gi…girl trying to take me a…all.” He couldn’t hide his groans through his biting, the way you arched your back to try and gain more of him before finally feeling too filled up.

Your own body moving up and down on his cock as every moment let out a loud moan of incoherent words. He could only dream about how pretty you looked from an outsider perspective, the way your hair would fall away from your face, your eyes shut as your hands stayed on his chest and you bounced up and down. Your tits moving along with each bounce, perfection.

He groaned out once more as he began taking charge, his hands moving to your hips and moving you up and down himself. He wanted you to go deeper, take full advantage of him and his cock and he was going to help you with it. “To…Toshi…” Your moans of his name felt like heaven to him as he continued to move your body back and forth, your head moving forward to meet his eyes once again.

“Open…” It was another command that you would comply with as even sitting on his lap you were still shorter than him. The sound of him gathering up his spit before shooting it right down your mouth, “swallow.”

Complying once again he felt even more turned on after having both his spit and cum in your mouth as he fucked into you. His grip around your hips became harder as bruises were ready to form on your delicate skin. He loved the idea though, the way you looked all bruised and fucked up, it made him feel good, because he knew that he was the only one to see you in this state.

He watched how your movements became stroppier, your kisses along his jaw and neck filled with more saliva as you moaned down to his broad chest. He knew you were going to cum as you felt a coil ready to break in your stomach. “C…cum, let me cu…cum…”

You were too fucked up to resist moaning against Ushijima’s large cock, the impact it had on your insides, every time it hit the back of your cervix made you become even more messed up. “Cum for…me.”

Feeling the coil snap in you, white cum gushed out of you, and remained in your cunt due to the sheer size of Ushijima. He watched you feel stuffed as cum tried to leak out in any gap it could find, the way he used this to easily fuck into you to gain his own release. “Want my cum to…to fill you up?”

“Yes…please Daddy…” It was a quiet moan as your eyes remained shut, head on his shoulder and arms around his own as he fucked into you, cum leaking out onto the ground and bench. He complied as he groaned into your ear, moving back and forth in your cunt sloppily.

A large groan and the feeling of being stuffed with cum was felt throughout the room, his thrusts sloppier as he finally stopped, taking himself out of you. He watched how cum began leaking out of you, how you remained sitting on him to let the cum taint the both of you.

“Congrats on the win by the way.” You spoke after a moment of silence where the both of you were catching your breath.

He nodded as he looked at his pretty girl, “let’s go home, I’ll run you a bath.”

“Only if you join me.” You spoke looking into his eyes, he gave a soft kiss.

His lips felt soft, not as rough as they were during sex but still filled with the same love as he finally let go staring into your pretty eyes, “anything for you, my love.”

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just fill out the form in my navigation or send an ask and i’ll add you xx

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[complexgods-backup]

Work for it

Kunimi x gn!reader

18+ Minors dni or I will come to your house and light your favourite plushie on fire. Don't test me I've done it before.

Warnings: explicit sex, degradation kink (uses of the word slut and whore), a dash of praise kink, dacryphilia, oral (m receiving), orgasm denial, breeding kink if you squint.

A/N: I saw a tiktok of someone saying they don't find Kunimi hot and I was so outraged I actually made myself h-word for him all week, so enjoy this dumpster fire. Also, this is technically the first nsfw work I posted publically so please be nice ok thank u <3 *pirouettes out of sight*

Word count: 1.1k

You were needy, and about to make it everyone's problem. And by "everyone," I mean your boyfriend, Kunimi. He had been studying for his finals all day, and hardly gave you the well-deserved attention you so craved. But, you didn't want to admit it so you hoped that your boyfriend would notice you prancing around practically half-naked in your shared apartment, walking past his desk more times than was necessary.

"Baby, stop doing that," Kunimi said after the fifth time you went to the bedroom to get something you allegedly forgot in order to continue on your thesis you were technically supposed to be working on.

"Doing what? I'm not doing anything." You answered innocently, giving him the well-practiced doe-eyes you knew drove him crazy.

"Really? You just expect me to believe that you're prancing around in those tiny tight shorts for yourself?" He let out an amused huff as he finally looked up from his laptop, his gaze uninterested as he appraised your outfit. He hummed softly in approval, despite the bored look on his face.

"Maybe I wanted to look nice for myself, it's not unheard of, you know, Akira." You replied sweetly, as you turned to go into the bedroom.

You could feel Kunimi's eyes following you until you disappeared into your shared bedroom. Your heart started racing once you heard Kunimi shut his laptop and make his way over to your bedroom. You knew he was hard from the way he was looking at you before, and you couldn't wait for what was about to come. You pretended to look for a book on your bedside table until Kunimi gently cupped your ass. You didn't mean to let out a gasp, but once you did, Kunimi knew he won.

"What do you want?" He asked once you turned around to face him.

Your face flushed before you gave him the obvious answer.

"You."

Immediately, his eyes darkened, smirking as he led you both to the bed. It seemed innocent enough, but you knew your boyfriend. There was no way he was going to be nice about this. As if you just jinxed something, Kunimi made himself comfortable on the bed, head resting against the pillow as he looked at you with an intense expression.

"Work for it." He said, not raising his voice in any way, but you knew from the tone he used that he wasn't asking. No, he was demanding. And who were you to deny him the pleasure?

Immediately, you bent over him to kiss him, licking into his mouth whilst your hands made their way to unbuckle his belt and slide his pants down his legs. You palmed his erection through his boxers, grinning into the kiss as he groaned.

"Why don't you put that mouth to good use, baby?" His voice turned husky, gently guiding you down his body.

You freed his straining erection from his boxers, proud that he was already fully hard. You licked the underside of his shaft, paying close attention to the vein that was protruding there. You smeared the precum beading at the tip across the head with your thumb, eliciting a hiss from your boyfriend.

"I don't think I told you to be a tease. Make me feel good." He said, sounding breathless.

Obeying his demands, you swallowed him almost whole, slowly bobbing your head as your eyes met his. He was a sight to behold, gripping your hair as he tried not to close his eyes at the pleasure he was feeling. He was quite vocal, despite what others might think, tiny gasps and moans leaving his mouth every so often.

"So good for me, baby. Just like that." He praised as you took him even deeper, your nose brushing against his lower abdomen.

As he was getting close, he pulled you off him, your mouth releasing him with a lewd pop.

"Undress." He ordered his hands resting behind his head as he propped himself up more on the bed, ready to enjoy a show.

You did as you were told, getting rid of your shirt and slowly pulling down your shorts, revealing your arousal.

"So needy for me, baby." He cooed, as he cupped your sex, not doing anything to help ease the arousal you felt. He had been all praise until now, but his smirk grew more sadistic by the second.

"How pathetic." He mused, gathering the arousal that has gathered at your sex on his fingers. He brought his hand up to your mouth, ordering you to lick them clean. You obliged.

"Now, ride me like the desperate slut you are. I see you already prepped yourself." He smirked, not doing anything to help you get off.

You didn't need to be told twice, guiding yourself over him, slowly sinking down.

"Stop being a tease and ride me." He sounded breathless, trying his best not to show it. You smirked a bit as he bottomed out, rolling your hips ever so sensually, eliciting a loud moan from your boyfriend.

"Fuck, you feel so good." He praised as he watched you lose yourself in the moment.

You found a rhythm in no time, the room filling with sounds of both your moans and skin slapping against skin.

"That's it. Fuck me like the pathetic whore you are. No one can fill you up like I can, isn't that right?" Kunimi gripped your hips as he couldn't stop himself from meeting you halfway, rutting up inside of you, finding that spot inside you that made you see stars.

"A- Akira I'm close." You moaned, trying to go faster to find your release.

The grip on your hips was ironclad, however, not letting you go any faster than you were.

"You cum when I tell you to. Don't you dare cum before that."

You whimpered as you continued riding him, feeling the coil in your abdomen getting unbearably tight.

"Please- Please I need to c- cum I can't wait any longer." You begged, tears spilling from your cheeks, mixing with the sweat that was gathering on your face.

"So pretty when you cry." He moaned, allowing you to go faster. "That's right baby, cum on my cock." You moaned as you came, never slowing down as you felt your boyfriend tense up, nearing his own orgasm.

"So good for me, squeezing me so tight baby. Th- that's right. Just like that, ah- let me fill you up baby." He moaned, his hips stilling as he came inside of you.

You both caught your breath, his cock softening inside you as you rested your head on his chest, damp with sweat.

"Was that what you needed?" He asked, softly kissing your forehead.

You couldn't respond with words, too fucked out, so you simply nodded. He chuckled, knowing exactly why it was you didn't speak.

"Can you move?" He asked, gently rolling you both to the side so he could slip out of you.

You nodded, sitting up, ignoring how wobbly your legs felt.

"That's right, you're doing great." He praised. "Let's get cleaned up, shall we, my love?"

[unibrowzz]

If you haven't done so already, could you rank all Toto's Sanremo entries?

I have not 👀

Minor disclaimer: As you all know, I am not Italian, therefore I have no idea how spicy this is gonna be 🤣

Also I'll only rank his solo entries and not the ones he entered when part of Albatros or the duet one with Annalisa Minetti

Figli (1987) Honestly this song is a musical masterpiece like fuck that part in the second verse where the music cuts out and it's just him and the choir?? Absolutely holy experience, 10/10

Voglio andare Vivere in Campagna (1995) Forgot to add this one earlier because I'm an idiot but man this song's amazing, it just keeps getting better and better and BETTER

Le Mamme (1989) This is just what comes to mind when I think of the word "sublime" it's just beautiful

Gli Amore (1990) I wonder if he'd have won Eurovision if he'd entered this song...? Either way, it's a dramatic 90s rock ballad, right up my street anyway

L'italiano/Serenata (1983/84) Man really did a "can I copy your homework?" with his own discography. They're still fun songs but they just don't feel up to the standard of the others, yanno? I mean I guess I KINDA prefer Serenata, but I'd feel guilty since it's so similar to L'italiano 😅

Emozioni (1988) I mean it's beautiful don't get me wrong, but man why does it sound so fucking SAD?

Solo noi (1980) I mean... it's an amazing flex of his vocal strength but the lyrics are kinda 🤨, and I honestly don't think he performed it well at all. I don't even think he likes it much either, according to an interview I found.

You didn't ask, but Insieme would go between Figli and Le Mamme :^)

[unholyplumpprincess]

Speak Up

A commission for @mintocchi ! Thank you so very much for your patience while I moved everything around :D

Summary: You and Crypto have been in a relationship for awhile now, and he's still got issues when trying to speak up for things that he wants. You always try to get him to voice his opinions and concerns, and somehow this leads to training him how via the bedroom. Or! In which Crypto needs to learn to stop being an actions over words guy or else you'll make him beg over and over again for what he wants.

Reblogs > Likes. Please Reblog if you hit Like :D

!!!Minors and ageless blogs dni or you will be blocked!!!

Fandom: Apex Legends

Relationship: Crypto/Reader

Warnings: R18+/NSFT, Reader is gender neutral and written with a vulva, they were originally supposed to be a cis gal but there’s no real language depicting them as strictly a gal!, Denial and forcing Crypto to beg and use his big boy words, P tame kink wise!

Words: 5k

___________________

Starstruck. 

That’s how you had first felt when you had met Crypto. 

You were a new camera operator on the set of the Apex games, someone who got all the good angles and made sure the drone cameras could really catch all the action. You’d met him the same season he’d been introduced, noting how he’d been cold and disregarding, yet appeared confident in himself. But his eyes, they’d been so...paranoid. Especially when you approached to introduce yourself as one of the camera operators. 

He’d regarded you with a short, quick nod. Odd, you’d thought. But that had quickly vanished when Elliott had taken you aside and chatted you up, an arm slung around your shoulder and a grin on his face. “Hey, don’t mind the kid, probably still jet lagged, dropships, bein’ legends and all- anyway sooooo I hear you operate those cameras now, huh? Make sure you get all my good angles- not that any of them are bad, just, you know, keep that attention on the money maker you feel me? The money maker being me, of course-” 

~Rest under the cut~

“Mirage.” Crypto’s voice had cut in between you two, watching as you both had turned and you could note his irritated look at Elliott before a much more apologetic one was glanced your way. “Apologies. He does not understand personal boundaries-” 

Elliott feigns a dramatic gasp, cutting Crypto off with his free hand against his own chest as if wounded. 

You stifle your laugh when Elliott keeps up the act, sputtering before pointing at Crypto accusingly. “Woah, woah, woah, I’ll have you know that I know this lovely thing. Used to be the tech head up iiiiiiin- audio, right?” He turns towards you after that, squeezing his arm around your shoulders in a friendly way as you beam at being remembered. 

“That’s right! I was actually hoping to speak to you, Crypto,” You gesture at him, noting Crypto’s light surprise of raised eyebrows before confusion and worry passes his features. Quick to overthink, huh? 

You’re quick to follow up to ease his possible fears. “N-not! Not as an employee, I mean, I just- your, uh, your drone. They kinda remind me of an old camera used back in the day and I was wondering if you had any tips or tricks I might be able to pick up on?” 

That’s what started the relationship in the first place. Crypto, that day, had offered merely a one shouldered shrug, but after Mirage giving him a look and whining to him like a puppy, he’d agreed. Resulting in you having your own private session with him as he helped you learn a few tips. You were already trained in operating the newer models, but having a few pointers never hurt. 

The entire time he’d asked questions about you, it almost felt like he was interrogating you rather than trying to start up curious small talk. But, to ease any fears he might have had about you having ulterior motives, you answered as honestly as possible to each one. Judging by his more paranoid nature, you didn’t ask any in turn for fear of him shying away. 

The least you wanted to do was make Crypto feel as though you were untrustworthy. 

As you two grew closer, the more relaxed he became around you. No more tips were to be given, so that excuse flew out the window, so you’d offered hang outs. It took a few tries until he finally mumbled he’d feel more comfortable in his room, which is where you two ended up being and you learned he had a sweet little cat named Isabella-Marie. 

You had smiled at her name, asking where he got the idea from, and he’d smiled softly- almost sadly when he’d said she was his sister’s cat he took in, but no more information. Said cat took to you nicely, and just as she had, Crypto started warming up to you as well. 

It was a slow, slow process. You took your time with him and learned that the personality he put on was nothing but a front. Something to keep more hidden. In private, he’s so soft, almost shy in his approach to you. He’s still got his sarcastic tongue, but he’s more playful when in private with you. Much like a cat. You see him opening up the slightest bit to people he’s starting to enjoy too- Elliott and Natalie both seem to have won some sort of favor with him. 

That friendship slowly worked its way into romantic. 

The first time you kissed him is with your hand cupping his cheek and his cheeks flushed red as his dark eyes flickered to your lips multiple times until you took initiative. It took a bit of coaxing to even get him to rest his hands on your waist, but once that had happened, it’s like he’d been so touch starved all his life. Clinging to you and sighing into your mouth as if he’d just sunken into bed after a long day. 

His need for touch didn’t surprise you considering when you offered hugs and snuggles that he’d melt into you and cling to you so tightly. Your height difference, with you being much shorter, made that kind of funny when he’d lean down to bury his face in your neck and you’d stand on your tiptoes to make it easier. All within a private setting- outside of these rooms, you were both strictly professional. 

Crypto’s name had been revealed to you not long after. Tae Joon Park. You both agreed that if you used it frequently that you might yell it in public, so it was reserved for more intimate moments or serious when you two were alone. You were mindful about switching his name, so you kept to using ‘Crypto’ in your head to ensure you wouldn’t fuck it up. 

Though, it never failed to delight you in hearing him sigh fondly when you’d mumble his name by his ear after a sweet kiss. 

Dates were more reserved for the bedrooms as well. You never minded that either, but sometimes on rare occasions, he’d don a mask and a hood so you two could go out. You could only imagine the type of anxiety those outings brought, but it always warmed your heart that he was willing to take a breath and push himself out to do these things for you. In turn, you would spend the nights with him, with his head on your chest and his arms squeezing around your middle. 

Crypto, you quickly find however, is really bad at vocalizing his desires. 

He’s a man of action, hardly using his words and if he did it was one worded or quick. You’ve been trying to help him on communication skills for both your sakes, but it’s more difficult on him. It doesn’t help that he’s quiet either, so sneaking up behind you to snake his arms around you normally results in you jumping and making a squeak sound. 

But it also meant that for more...bedroom activities, that he would use actions. You always knew when he wanted something, you weren’t blind to it, you just wanted to make 100% sure of what he wanted. Normally resulting in you straddling his lap, a hand around his neck and speaking low for him to tell you what he wanted. 

Crypto always got the cutest face anytime you took the reins and control. A healthy flush over his cheeks, his breathing heavier and his eyes pleading, but his mouth refusing. 

 Stubborn was a good way to put it. How his eyebrows would furrow and he’d whimper and buck his hips up, but not tell you what he wanted. It took a lot of trial and error to even get him to utter ‘please’ at times. Your poor baby. 

You especially found you liked teasing him. Learning quick that he liked nicknames like ‘Good boy’ and ‘Baby boy’. You enjoyed edging him, tying him up or even just making him cling to the sheets or his own hair as his hips humped the air and he sobbed without begging for you. Always trying so hard to convey in his body language what he wanted you to do. 

You found yourself mesmerized by his desperation at a lot of times. Where Crypto’s kiss flushed lips would part, his eyebrows knitted and his eyes frantic on you. His own hands gripping his hair to follow instructions on not to touch you as his hips thrust into the air and made his thick cock bob. 

Sometimes you wondered if he could cum just by humping the air alone. 

Another time, you’d always tell yourself, always so eager to hear that final sobbed out word of ‘Please’ before you would swing your legs over him and ride him hard and fast. Normally fit with cruel croons about what a sweet, pathetic little thing he looked like. Your very good boy. 

That’s what you were thinking of now as you sat on the couch in his quarters, waiting for him to return from his match in the arena. 

Isabella-Marie is happily purring in your lap as your hand strokes through her soft, strawberry blonde fur. You’ve set up there with a blanket over your lap that she’s kneading happily, the match Crypto had been in having ended about an hour ago. You could tell he was struggling, too much talking around him that was reflecting in his steps. 

He’d been in a team with Mirage and Wattson, both people you knew he liked being around, but unfortunately, they kept striking up conversation. Leading to Crypto being off his rhythm. But it was nice to hear him breathe out in amusement at their antics sometimes, caught on the audio feed with the announcers crooning about how it looked like he made some friends finally. 

They at least made it to the top three. Fighting valiantly to maintain their location on World’s Edge in the city. Mirage had gotten cocky when they’d knocked two of the opposite team, going up to finish them off and ending up with a shotgun in the back and a cracking snarl in the sky of Bloodhound. 

The rest is history. But, at least you knew Bloodhound wouldn’t be the type to gloat and act cocky if they caught Crypto- at least out loud. You’re glad it was them rather than Caustic. Bad blood ran deep between them, not to mention Natalie struggling herself with it all. You were glad her and Crypto could solve whatever issue it was that ran between them- one that not even you were aware of. 

Security and secrecy, Crypto had told you with apology in his eyes. You understood, some things were best kept secret. Especially in case you accidentally got caught up in a mess, you could genuinely say you had no idea what was happening in all the legends’ lives. 

The beep of the door being unlocked makes Isabella-Marie awaken, doing a stretch across your lap before she chirps and hurries to the door to greet Crypto. She curls around his feet as he removes his shoes at the door before entering any further into the room in the rest of his gear. 

“Hello, sweetheart,” You hear him tiredly coo downwards, hearing Isabella-Marie's delighted chirp as she’s scooped up, quickly followed by her loud motor engine of a purr. 

You slide off the couch, dressed in your lounging outfit of soft black sweatpants covered with cliché little green alien heads and a loose gray sweater with a green Apex symbol over the right breast, the collar falling off your shoulders. Crypto looks worse for wear, his eyes are tired and he’s got dirt smudged on his cheek and smells heavy of sweat. Not that Isabella-Marie minds. Nor you. 

“Hey,” You greet him, a smile on your face as his eyes rest on you whilst his cat presses her cheek in insistent strokes against his chin, cradled in his arms. 

“Hey,” He murmurs back to you, adjusting Isabella-Marie in his arms when you reach for him. Despite his tired expression, his cheeks flush when he leans down and to the side for you to cup his cheeks and peck a kiss on his lips in greeting. 

“You need a shower. You go wash up and I’ll order dinner.” You tell him, offering your arms out for Isabella-Marie to be transferred to your arms in all her purring glory. “What were you thinking tonight?” 

“Mmh.” Is his only reply, leaning down to rest his cheek on the top of your head in a small nuzzle. Affectionate boy. You laugh a bit, gently nudging him with your hip as Isabella-Marie jumps out of your arms. Giving you time to hook your arms around his waist and shove your hands into his back pockets under his jacket to draw him close and make him blush. 

“Tae Jooooon,” You tease his name, enjoying how he hums low in his throat in response and turning his head to press his lips against the top of your head in a kiss. “We’ve talked about this. You can’t go your whole life being a one worded man.” 

“Mmh.” He responds again, this time with a smile that you feel. 

You shove at him playfully to shoo him off for the shower, calling out after his back when he goes dutifully towards the bathroom. “Fine! But if you don’t like what I picked because you didn’t give any options, I don’t wanna hear you complain!” 

Not that he ever did complain. If he was picky this would be a bigger concern. But thankfully you two seemed to be on the same page a lot of times, especially when it came to food. 

The food you order is Chinese takeout, getting here just in time for when Crypto emerges from his long shower looking a lot more awake and less grouchy. He’s dressed in his thick framed glasses, his normally slicked back hair nice and slick, some black sweatpants and a loose white crop-top, something you appreciate very greatly to be able to see his fit frame. 

Like a nerdy jock. 

You show your enjoyment when you wrap your arms around him from behind when he goes to look at what you got for dinner. Running your nails up his exposed beauty-marked, warm skin on his abdomen to feel him squirm and lean back against you with this flustered huff falling from his lips. 

Eventually you two make it to the couch where you have dinner and watch one of the K-dramas he liked to indulge in. Sometimes Crypto will pause it to explain a verbal pun that wasn’t caught via the subtitles for you, something that always makes you smile and appreciate when he takes the time to pause and explain for you. 

Though you’re sure he doesn’t appreciate when you wait for his most distracted point in time to steal a piece of his food and shove it in your mouth too quickly for him to stop you. Resulting in him poking at you until you squeal from being tickled and he can take a piece off your food in retaliation as you whine at him after. 

Domestic. That’s the best way you could describe yours and Crypto’s relationship. 

Home. 

After dinner is put away and teeth are brushed, you two settle back onto the couch. You curl up on the corner, Crypto following you to cuddle up to your side. His cheek rests against your shoulder, kind of tilting his body into you as you rest your arm behind him, your hand resting on his nape to slide up to pet at the shaved portion of his head. Another hum from him of appreciation, but not verbalizing his like of it. 

Crypto softly adjusts, but you take it as nothing more than him getting closer to you with the soft sound of the TV in front of you. You’ve got your phone in your lap to play a puzzle game while he watches his show, very much like a cat as he rubs his cheek against your shoulder affectionately. 

Another squirm, another adjustment is felt after a moment of him pressing his thigh to yours. You take it as him wanting to be closer, only sliding your fingers higher along his scalp to the coarse hair atop his head to lightly scratch at the root like he likes. 

You don’t notice his mouth starting to part, quickly cut off with the ringing of your phone and you groaning aloud. “Really? Right now?” Before you’re answering it with a polite ‘Hello?’ that makes Crypto snort at your tone change. 

He watches as you chat, watching your lips move and hearing you discuss footage and what your boss must have wanted you to edit or someone else. He’s not really paying attention when you’re still petting his hair. He tries to nudge closer to you, near flush with your side as his hand now rests on your thigh, hoping to catch your attention. You only offer him a quick smile before returning back to your conversation. 

After five minutes, it’s clear this isn’t going to be a short call either. 

A sigh is heard from Crypto before he’s leaning up to start pecking soft, brushing kisses on your neck. Your head tilts for him, only a light flutter of your lashes as you go ‘Mmhm yeah’ to whoever you are on the phone with. Your nails press lightly at his scalp, letting him know you feel him as his teeth lightly nip at your neck like you like. 

You’re damned good at keeping your composure verbally, and now Crypto’s beginning to wonder if you’ve ever done anything on the phone with him without his knowledge. Even the mental image of you spread out and touching yourself while on the phone near making him whine, something he swallows down. 

You clearly can feel him and see him. You offer a little smile when he peeks up at you, catching your gaze. Emboldened by you sparing even a little attention to him, his hand slides down to your wrist in hopes you’ll catch up to what he’s saying. Gently drawing it to his thigh and towards his inner thigh. And yet, you still chat on the phone, but now you’re squeezing and massaging his thigh, your pinkie lightly skimming over his crotch and making Crypto’s breath hitch against your shoulder. 

His brows are furrowed, looking ever so frustrated as you now purposefully lengthen the conversation out by bringing back a point from the last game played. Crypto’s head tips lightly up to you, his eyes pleading with you when your knuckles brush over the bulge in his sweatpants. 

Your eyes meet his and you quirk a brow with a light smirk on your face. Your eyes say enough for him, you’re sure, judging by how his face flushes and his brows furrow once again. You can see and feel how he squirms, realizing he’s not going to get anything until he uses his words. 

He’s stubborn. He’s always so stubborn. Squirming in his place and getting more frustrated as you keep chatting. Only after three minutes does he finally give in when he realizes this isn’t going to work and you’re only going to keep teasing him through his pants. 

“Please?” He all but whispers, his mouth felt quivering on your bare shoulder and his hot breath felt in a shaky exhale. “Please touch me, please?” 

You smirk. 

“Oh! Hey, boss, looks like I’ll have to chat with you tomorrow morning about that- uhuh, yeah, yeah, getting,” -You pause there to let out a feigned yawn- “Oof, yeah, getting real tired....uhuh, yeah, sounds good! Buh-bye.” Before you’re ending the call and practically pouncing on him. 

You end up in his lap, straddling him and cupping his cheeks, brushing some of his hair from his face before you lean in to kiss him. Crypto’s hands find your waist, hovering at first before gripping you when you lick into his mouth after biting his lip to make him gasp. 

You sit up higher to press him back into the couch, letting your hands slide into his hair for him to tip his head back when you pull at it. His moan is low and vibrates his chest when your tongue licks over his own, feeling his hips jerk lightly up and against your ass needily. 

“I like when you beg,” You breathe as you part from the kiss, moving the kisses down his jawline and towards his ear where you lightly nip. “Do it again for me?” 

“Nnh-” Is the only response he manages at first, his fingers shaking as they slide down to grip your hips when you start grinding across his lap. Back and forth to your own rhythm and feeling just how hard he is. Bless whoever made sweatpants. 

Crypto’s so cute when you pull back to look at him. Where his head is tipped back and to the side, his lips parted and letting out ragged breaths with each drag of your hips across his lap. How his brows knit together when you grind low and slow downwards to catch his attention and his mouth falls closed to hiss. 

But. He still wasn’t speaking. 

“Be a good boy and tell me what you want, hm?” You try to encourage him, letting your hands fall down to his exposed abdomen to slide your hands up and under his crop top. Slipping your hands over his chest to thumb at his sensitive nipples, gently pinching and rolling them. Crypto whimpers sharply, his head rolling to the opposite side and looking more stubborn by the second as he strains to come up with words. 

“I-I-” His voice comes out in a whine, framed by how his lips quiver and his blunt nails cling to your hips when you stop grinding to encourage him further. “I...I want your mouth. On- o-on my cock. Please?”  

“Awww, baby, when you look that cute? I’d do just about anything for you.” 

You move down his body, kissing your way down until you can slink in between his knees onto the floor. You waste no time in hooking your fingers under his sweatpants, your mouth watering as you follow his happy trail downwards as it gets more exposed. You tug them completely off with his underwear, watching his thick cock bounce with a satisfying bob and a drool of pre-cum from the flushed head peaking from foreskin. 

Crypto covers his face with his hands to hide his burning red flush that edges down to his chest when you hum at him approvingly. But, judging by how his cock throbs, you already know that as he likes being watched and praised without words. 

You take your sweet time kissing up his length and down his balls, letting your tongue run over the sensitive skin. Your hand holds the base, stroking downwards to pull back his foreskin, mouthing at the flushed head and letting your tongue slide against the slit in teasing dips until a whimper falls from his lips. 

You tease him like this for a good enough amount of time before you even take him into your mouth fully. Suckling and bobbing your head, your free hand holding his hip to squeeze to remind him to keep his hips down when he starts trying to hump upwards into your mouth. 

Anytime you feel how his cock jerks and you hear his breathing quicken; You stop. Pulling your mouth off to kiss at his hips and thighs instead. Squeezing on his legs soothingly and rubbing at his skin when Crypto whines and rolls his hips up with not a single word peeping from his lips. Even if now his arm is thrown over his forehead, able to see how he peeks open one eye to look down at you pleadingly. 

You smile up at him each time before you take him in again. Suckling, licking, your nails sliding down his thigh until your hand can cup his balls and lightly squeeze. And each time you feel him get close, you pull back. The same bite of pain of your nails on his skin, same edging, the same denial even as pre-cum spills from his cock and it mixes with your drool to connect you with a sliver that makes him near sob when he sees you. 

You know he liked it messy. Liked seeing the mess you could make. 

The mess you could make of him. 

You’re about to remind him that he needs to use his big boy words if he wants to get anywhere tonight. But, seems Crypto gets the memo when he starts pleading. 

“Let me cum inside you, please, please, please- please let me cum i-inside you, please, I’ll be good-”  His voice is breathy, a high whimper as his hips try to fuck up into the loose grip you have on his shaft. He just looks so pathetic for you right now. Just a teary, drooly, humpy mess. 

You like how desperate looks on him. 

“Mmmhhh, I dunno, baby,” You let your voice elongate your words, your breath fanning across his sensitive skin and causing his dick to jerk, lightly tapping your lower lip and making you smile. “You look awfully cute. Can’t you hold it a bit longer? C’mon, you can be my good boy and hold it, can’t you?” 

Each end of your questions is punctuated with a drag of your lips across his cock, letting him feel how you murmur across his reddened skin. 

Crypto sobs out again, his body jerking in sensitivity as both his hands come back up to hide his red face and teary eyes. His nod allows you to continue, continuing your teasing kisses and licks. Making sure to bite pain into his thighs to cause his mind to either associate the pain with pleasure or to back off his pleasure. Judging by the way he sobs out and twitches each time you scratch or bite him, you’re guessing it’s your prior guess. 

“Please, please, please-” Crypto starts to sob when you deny him again, his cock jerking heavily and spilling pre-cum on his lower abdomen. His hands have fallen to grip the couch as best as he can, his teary gaze looking down at you and his lips quivering with his shaky breaths. So cute. “Please, I-I cannot take it anymore, please, please let me cum in you, I want to cum in you-” 

You’ll give him credit. This is the most he’s ever spoken during sex, let alone been so clear in his needs and desires. Something you’ll praise him for later. For now, you smile up at him, wiping your mouth off on the back of your hand before standing to wriggle out of your lounge clothing.  

Crypto’s quick to help you, hooking fingers in your sweater to help you out of it. It’s fit with your laughter as you nearly fall on him, lots of giggling when his mouth presses a kiss to your abdomen when you get halfway stuck through your sweater and pants. “Tae Joon-” You laugh out his name when you feel him smile against your abdomen, “C’mon, lil help here?” 

Eventually you escape your clothing prison, able to set the mood again when your straddle his lap. You’re plenty wet enough, but you still take the time to tease him a bit more by reaching down to stretch yourself while hovering over his cock. You feel flustered as he watches you, sitting under you and looking up at you with such love in his eyes while you make soft sounds yourself. 

It takes a few tries to line up correctly, but soon you’re bouncing your hips on him with your fingers in his hair and your mouth on his neck. He always sounds so pretty the way he cries out, clinging to your hips at first before his arms wind around you to hug you to his trembling frame. You pepper kisses all over his face, cupping his cheeks adoringly as you rest your foreheads together. 

He cums rather quickly, clinging so hard to you as his hips frantically hump up against you. He ends up accidentally holding you still so he can thrust up into you, resulting in you clinging to him in turn with your lips parted and murmuring praise as he fucks you through his orgasm. He’s swearing in his mother tongue, something you can only catch bits and pieces of. 

When Crypto’s done cumming, one of his hands quickly goes down to between both your bodies to rub at your clit as you hump against his cock still lodged inside you. He finds your lips to capture when you whimper out his name when you begin to cum, your nails biting into his shoulders as he rubs you through it. 

By the time you’re both satisfied, you slump against his frame, burying your face into his neck as your sweaty bodies press together on the couch, still connected. 

When both of your breathing settles, he presses a kiss to the top of your head, nuzzling himself there as his hands slide up and down your sides. You smile softly, adjusting your hips a bit and laughing a bit when he grunts in this little oversensitive way. 

When you lift your head to meet his gaze, you smile a bit brighter, gently bumping your noses together. “Hey,” 

“Hey,” He murmurs back just as fondly. 

“You need a shower.”  

He smiles when he realizes you’re replaying your interaction from earlier that day, reaching up to brush your frazzled hair from your face. “Mmh.” 

“You need a shower with me?” 

“Mmh.” He repeats, moving to rest his cheek atop your head as you laugh at him when you feel his chest shake with a quiet laugh in turn. 

“Alright fine. Guess I’ll be getting a shower first and you’ll be left out here with your dick out and cold-” 

That gets him. Pushing you off him and to the couch with a yelp from you as you fall gracelessly on your side and gasp as he takes off towards the shower and you quickly following after him with a playful swat to his ass when you catch up. 

Yeah. You would say your guys’ relationship was domestic. 

[bluesylveon2]

Do You Remember When? (Epilogue)

Written for @levihanweek Day 6: Memory and Day 7: Free Space. This is a continuation of the other fic I wrote which you can find here!

Part 1

A/N:

Levi and Hange are 24 when they meet again and 29 when they get married

Thank you @levihanweek for hosting Levihan Week and @immagoudaboi for beta reading!

Enjoy!

Levi believed, with all his heart, that he was in some cheesy romantic movie or a shitty fanfic. Like the ones where there are 2 childhood friends, they separate, meet again, and fall in love after all those years.

Well, now that movie/book had ended and opened up to the sequel: the marriage.

Levi stared at himself while he adjusted the tie in the mirror. He was currently getting ready for his big day, and he also wanted to be alone for a few minutes. Here he was at a stage in life he never expected. Marrying his childhood crush, Hange.

The couple decided to keep their marriage small. Only close friends and families were allowed to witness the event. Luckily they found a small botanical garden that was perfect for the venue, reception, and sunset photoshoots. Plus, the garden had a section dedicated to sunflowers, a flower that makes Levi smile every time he sees it. Overall, it was perfect for the couple.

Levi still remembered the day they reunited. It was only 5 years ago when Hange was with Erwin, and Levi swore Erwin would introduce her as his lover. Boy, was he wrong.

Levi made a mental note to thank whoever above for not including that.

(Np Levi)

His relationship with Hange developed smoothly for the most part. Sure there were rough patches along the way, but the two always overcame it. Thus their love grew stronger as the years progressed.

Their first date started as a simple fancy homemade dinner. It was quiet and peaceful. The couple had even sung some karaoke and ended the night waltzing to jazz music.

The second date was a whole 180. This date included Levi's 2021 Ducati XDiavel Black Star

motorcycle. It was a gift given to him by his uncle and all the gambling money he earned. The bike alone took Hange's breath away.

---

Hange let out a loud whistle as she eyed the Ducati. The motorcycle was very sleek, black, gray, and had a few hints of red. Overall, it screamed Levi.

"Levi! I didn't know you owned a Ducati! Do you know how much they are? Over 20k!" Hange exclaimed with stars in her eyes. Levi smirked before walking up to her side. He wrapped an arm around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Actually, this bike was a gift from Kenny. He won enough at the casino and bought it for me for my 24th birthday."

Hange fondly smiled at the thought. She knew Kenny always had a soft spot for Levi since he is his only nephew.

"You know what we should do now, Levi?" Hange's smile turned into a full grin. "Let's take it for a spin!"

Levi took his head off of Hanges shoulder and looked at her with shock. "Just like 10 years ago?"

"Yes! But…." Her voice trailed off, and she stared down at her feet. "Can I drive it this time?"

Levi's jaw dropped, and he just stared at her. Hange waved a hand in front of his face.

"Levi? Are you there?"

"I heard you. It's just….are you sure?" He asked with worry, and Hange chuckled at how cute he looked.

"No need to worry about me, Levi. Mike used to let me drive his motorcycle around, so I know what to do."

"He let you do what?!" Levi became horrified. Why didn't Mike ever mention this to him?

Hange waved a hand nonchalantly. "I only had minor scrapes when I first started, but I managed to pick it up quickly. Just like you!"

-----

"So, where do you want to go?" Hange asked Levi, who wrapped his arms around her waist. The motorcycle purred with life, and the two had their helmets secured on their heads. The only thing left to do was actually leave Levi's garage.

"I'm okay with going anywhere. Just as long as I’m with you."

"Really? You don't mind driving us off the cliff?" Hange teased and laughed at her own suggestion.

Levi rolled his eyes but smirked along with Hange. "No, and nowhere reckless, Four-Eyes. Got it?"

Hange did a mini salute before facing forward and positioning herself to take off. "Yes, sir! Besides, I know the perfect place to go."

Levi decided to not question where Hange wanted to bring him. He trusted her enough to know that wherever she brought him will hold significance to the both of them.

Levi rested his head against Hange's back as she took off. He watched the city pass by in a blur while listening to Hange's merry laugh. It was like music to his ears despite the other sounds in the background. He kept his focus on Hange only.

Hange zoomed and zigzagged through the city. What felt like seconds, was actually hours when they arrived at their destination. Levi's eyes widened in recognition.

"Is this?" Levi asked Hange, and she nodded.

In front of Levi was the same park he took her to several years ago. The park itself had been updated in the past 10 years since the time he and Hange last snuck out. There were multiple colorful flowers and trees planted all over to provide more natural shade. Additionally, the city added more benches so people could sit down and enjoy the scenery.

Hange parked the motorcycle so she and Levi could get off. She extended her hand out to Levi (which he gladly accepted) and led him to the hill, where they shared their first kiss.

This time, there was a giant ginkgo tree with bright yellow leaves on the branches. The autumn breeze blew some of the leaves off to float in the air as if they were dancing. Hange let go of Levi to run up ahead and go under the tree.

It was an amazing sight for Levi to witness: from below the tree, Hange watched the leaves fall. She spread her arms out and laughed as the leaves began dancing around her body like it was people worshiping a goddess.

Boy was Levi in love.

"Levi! Come join me." Hange called out to him as the ginkgo leaves started decorating her brown hair.

Levi strode over to Hange and reached up to her head when he was close enough. He plucked a yellow leaf out of Hange's hair and brought it close to examine it.

"Did you know that the ginkgo leaf is considered a living fossil, and it symbolizes hope and peace in China? Additionally, it also survived the Hiroshima bombing, so it also symbolizes endurance and vitality."

Suddenly, Hange's face became serious, and she clasped her hands over Levi's. The yellow ginkgo leaf remained in Levi's grasp.

"Levi, I'm sorry about our falling out in the past."

"Hange, you don't need to apologize-"

Hange shut Levi up by pressing a finger to his lips.

"Let me finish." She added and retracted her finger. "I want this relationship-" she gestured between the two of them. "To be like the ginkgo leaf. Do you want to know why?" She quietly added.

Levi remained quiet but nodded his head, so Hange could continue.

"I want us to endure through every challenge we face together. Until we die. I want us to someday live together, have kids, and keep making happy memories. I know this is our second date, but I have always loved you, Levi. I want you to know that, but I don't expect you to--"

Hange never finished her rambling when Levi swiftly grabbed Hange by the back of her head and brought his lips to hers. She dropped her hands down and brought Levi close to her.

Levi didn't need to vocalize anything, but Hange already knew. It was like telepathy between the two of them; Levi loved her too.

The couple was preoccupied with their embrace to notice the yellow ginkgo leaf flutter down and land softly on the grass.

---

Levi smiled at the declaration of love under the ginkgo tree. The leaf Levi held was now pressed in a frame that sat in the couple's living room. It was a constant reminder of a new start in their lives. It symbolized turning a new leaf for the two.

Levi moved on to add the boutonniere to his suit. The item itself was made up of fake (because it saves money and lasts longer. Hange’s words, not his) sunflowers. Levi smiled after he finally pinned the boutonniere.

Boy, was he in love with Hange.

The door rattling interrupted Levi's thoughts of his fiance, and he clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"Mike! Erwin! I told you to knock before coming in-" Levi complained and turned around to glare at the intruder, only to be greeted by his fiance instead.

"Here. Hange?!" He exclaimed, and Hange chuckled.

"Oh, Levi. You know I don't knock when I enter the room. Especially the bedroom. I always catch you at the perfect times." She chuckled and wiggled her eyebrows. Levi blushed and looked away out of embarrassment.

"Why are you here? What about the whole 'seeing the bride before the wedding thing?'" Levi added, and Hange rolled her eyes.

"I could care less about that whole superstition shit, Levi. You know that."

Levi looked at Hange with concern. "What are you doing here anyway? Is something wrong?"

Hange fake gasped and widened her eyes. "Is it wrong for me to see my future husband on our wedding day?" She slumped her shoulders and strode over to stand next to Levi. Levi, noticing Hange’s distress, led her to sit down on a nearby sofa.

"Levi, to be honest, I'm nervous, and I just wanted to see you.”She admitted, wrapped her arms around Levi, and buried her face in the crook of his neck. She was careful enough to not ruin her makeup and hair.

Levi hugged Hange back and rubbed her back. "Your bridesmaids must be worried about you right now. Did you go ‘bridezilla’ on them?"

Hange laughed and looked up at Levi. He looked down at her in return. "Worse, but you don't need to know that."

Levi chuckled, and silence enveloped the two. It was nice, just sitting alone together in tranquility. This was their time to share before the ceremony. Sure, there might be chaos outside the room, but Levi and Hange were together. They endured every challenge like the ginkgo tree. The couple was also like a sunflower and the sun: facing each other until the end of the day.

-------

©: This is where I insert all rights reserved stuff. This story belongs to me. Do not modify or republish.

A/N:

I wrote 3 different wedding au's so far and I find that hilarious!

Thank you @cat for the suggestion! This is late but I was inspired to write more 😁

[theseerasures]

Wouldn't mind some meta WRT Harriet Bree or Marrow Amin.

i have a certain fascination with the actual place of the AceOps within the Atlesian military structure. we know that they’re considered “elite” military operatives and that Ironwood was the Simon Cowell to their One Direction. we know they’re Special Operatives who answer to other Special Operatives--Clover “led” them while he was alive in a way that feels...different from the way team leaders in the show usually lead, and Marrow calls Winter ma’am.* the only other Operative we’ve seen in the show is Cordovin, who (according to season 6 commentary) everyone in Atlas found annoying, but also got a very cushy position as colonial command while Harriet and Marrow spend their days elbow deep in Centinel slime, so like. what gives? i do wonder if the reason they were selected was just Semblance complementarity and i dunno, being extra down with fascism, or if they were also chosen because they lacked certain “desirable” attributes--species, birthplace, family, temperament, what have you--that would have fast-tracked them for command positions, like Clover and Winter clearly were. it’s possible that the AceOps Unit is more of a...model minority purgatory:** glamorous on the outside but full of dirty and dangerous work, and no actual upward mobility.

it’s certainly not required that this be true in canon, but i do think it fleshes out the characters, and adds some dimensions to how Atlas is fundamentally shitty on every level.

it would, for example, heighten the stakes of Harriet’s refusal to grieve--now it’s not just years of indoctrination telling her she’s not allowed, now there might be material consequences if she ever externalizes her grief as grief, instead of this like. strident and furious professionalism. it’s not just that Tortuga was replaceable; it’s that they are, at all times, essentially fungible. if she shows any weakness, she might be out the door. this dovetails perfectly with her hyper-competitiveness as seen and remarked upon in season 7: Harriet needs to get ahead, because it’s the only way she can feel secure in her own position, away from precarity and feeling. in a sense Harriet’s not dissimilar to those dipshits who are against student loans because they paid off theirs already, because it’s the same feedback loop. she’s trapped in a system that’s deeply unfair to her, and her first instinct is to win, and once she’s won it’s clear that the system actually is perfect and fair.

but there’s also clearly a part of her that DOES care about other people--within her own allowable boundaries and without. her conflict with Marrow would have come to a head already if she didn’t care for him in some bizarre, fucked up way. she could have ratted him out to Ironwood for the way he’s been holding back, or she could have just given up on him altogether and let him hang himself by his own insistence on doing the right thing, but instead she just...negs him at every turn and unfairly, cruelly, demands that he improve by falling in line, because in her mind she’s doing it for his own good.

or one of my favorite subtle moments so far: when they touch down at the tundra to meet (and arrest) JYR. Jaune immediately asks for their help, and Winter...balks, and then Harriet looks at her like this:

and THEN she jumps in to antagonize them. when she was beta-ing “no one brought us here but me,” Leah commented that my scene with Harriet and Winter at the hospital reminded her of Adora, Catra, and Lonnie in the Horde, and i haven’t been able to get that out of my head, because that’s exactly what this look encompasses. Harriet knows that you have to fight and claw your way through the system to survive, to be just a little less replaceable than the next person; she knows that EVERYONE is replaceable, and therefore she shouldn’t care. but at the same time: she’s gonna protect what’s hers, and for the time being Winter is her teammate. so she looks at Winter and thinks fine, you’re clearly not ready to put on your big girl boots for your sister’s friends yet. fine. i’ll be the bad guy this time. i’ll cover for you, cut you off at the pass, before you say something that compromises all of us.

loyalty is inextricable from complicity in Atlas. we know from Winter that having doubts is allowed--hell, it might even be encouraged, since it provides a nice alibi for one’s humanity--so long as you don’t actually deviate from the ~right path. and more often than not it’s your teammates and co-workers who keep you on that path, who surveil you and remind you--forcibly if necessary--of who is signing your paychecks, and who hasn’t replaced you yet. Harriet says she had RWBY pegged from the start, and honestly? i believe her. it’s not like anyone on that team is hard to read. she knew that they were cut from the same bleeding heart cloth, but as long as they didn’t do anything stupid Harriet was willing to work with them, and even like them, because that’s how things work in Atlas. when Elm says “you don’t have to understand orders, kids. you just have to follow them,” it’s not just mindlessly repeating ideology, it’s a subtle warning to toe the line for all their sakes. they keep each other loyal, which is a loyalty of its own. they watch each other’s backs, both on and off the field.

which i think is why they all (but especially Harriet and Elm, who had been the most friendly AND the most vocal about How Things Work) felt so personally betrayed by RWBY. in their mind, they’d done their best to acclimate these children to the best way to make it through Atlas alive, and in return the kids spat in their faces by rejecting the system entirely--and they KNOW what happens when you try to do that. in Harriet’s mind the kids have already become more people for whom she cannot grieve, because they’ll be replaced soon, and she has to take them out.***

which makes this:

...this is a serious breach of trust.

on one level it’s not like. a SECRET that Winter’s the Favored Kid, and just a little less dispensable than the rest of them, but to have her rub her white girl privilege in Harriet’s face like this, in front of EVERYONE--that must sting, especially since Harriet had been doing her (very unique version of) best at supporting Winter like any teammate should.

on another level: Winter is pulling rank to commit treason, which is such a bullshit bastard thing to do, because it puts literally all of them in a double bind where if they defy her it’s insubordination, and if they DON’T defy her she’s dragging ALL OF THEM down with her. trust a Schnee to take advantage of the system and leave them holding the bag, right? Winter’s rejecting the system with one hand and using it to forcibly conscript them along with the other, and for--what? one kid’s life? the Right Thing? doesn’t she know that as team leader her first responsibility is to her team, and that loyalty matters more?****

it’s a much worse betrayal than Team RWBY, because Winter’s one of them, but she’s the one tearing the veil right open, she’s the one saying “i don’t care about the system anymore, and i’m willing to game it to drag you along.” Harriet’s been trying to win this thing--this illusory thing that can never be won, where the threat of being replaced can only ever be delayed but not completely outrun--and here comes Winter, who in Harriet’s eyes has pretty much won already, and she says: guess what? it’s all bullshit. i’m the bullshit queen of this bullshit ride, and i’m gonna use my bullshit power over you so we can flip off this entire caboose.*****

so how is Harriet going to react? it’s entirely possible that she’ll double down, and try to go over Winter’s head to Ironwood--keep playing the game, knock Winter off her perch, maybe even take her place. Winter’d deserve it; she was the one who fired the first shot, while Harriet’s been loyal in every sense of the word. but my guess--my hope--is that she’ll choose differently, because she’s not the only one processing this. some members of her team--the people that she cares about despite knowing that she shouldn’t--are less invested in the system than she is. some of them are bound to realize, especially once it sinks in that they’ve been sent on a mission where there’s no coming back,****** that Winter’s not the only one who can decide what matters and what doesn’t.

the day you recognize your cage is the day you begin setting yourself free. they’ve already disobeyed one order, and even if they hadn’t--Ironwood’s gonna replace them all anyway. if they’re gonna proceed with the bomb plan, they don’t have to do it for any reason but their own. or they don’t have to do it at all! it’s treason all the way down, for all of them, and they can decide to each do what they think is right separately, or...they can, for the time being, stick together. watch each other’s backs, so that they all have a better chance of survival.

in a way, it’s what they’ve always done.

*which can i say is fucking absurd given the age gap between the two--like, imagine watching an upperclassman graduate and then after summer break she strolls back into the Academy and is all “i’m actually Dean of Students now” and you’re just expected to nod like yes this is a normal thing to happen

**yes i KNOW that Marrow is the only minority technically bc color-based racism doesn’t exist on Remnant let’s say that everyone else is from Mantle or smth and lemme have this fanwank

***given that the Specialist program has been operating for...well, as long as Cordovin has been around, i wonder if there are any jaded washouts, or people who grew a conscience. i wonder what happened to them if there are, and i wonder if Tortuga was one of them.

****but the thing is: Winter doesn’t. Winter is one of the very few characters who has never been shown as part of a team of peers--even Ironwood got that, as part of the Ozluminati. the only other major examples i can think of are...Salem, who has a team but no peers, and Raven, who had a team but left it. Winter probably had a team at one point at the Academy, but it’s conspicuous that she doesn’t have one now. i’m not gonna get into it because this ain’t about her, but this is another example of Winter’s flaws somehow compensating for her other flaws--if she HAD bonds with teammates, it would be much harder for her default to doing the right thing, consequences be damned.

*****”just a lil bit tho!!! haha please don’t tell my dad”

******do the AceOps know they’ve been sent on a suicide mission? i think they don’t yet, because i think they’ll work it out onscreen, and i don’t think Winter’s gonna tell them.

[passionate-reply]

This week on Great Albums, we look at a surprisingly experimental album from a band who got royally screwed by their record label: Propaganda, with their arguable only LP, A Secret Wish. Oh, and did I mention that that record label was none other than Zang Tuum Tumb, run by none other than Trevor Horn? Find out the whole story in the video, or in the transcript below the break.

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! In this installment, I’ll be looking at a relative sleeper of its era, with a unique sound that’s set it apart and won it a contingent of cult followers over the years: A Secret Wish, the first, and only, studio album from the classic lineup of Propaganda, first released in 1985.

First formed in Duesseldorf, West Germany by Ralf Doerper of Die Krupps, Propaganda soon relocated to Great Britain in the hopes of finding a wider audience for their music. Their lucky break came in the form of being signed to the record label Zang Tumb Tuum, headed by then-rising star, Trevor Horn. Fresh off his first major success as a producer, ABC’s The Lexicon of Love, Horn then lent his famous production chops to Propaganda’s first single, “Dr. Mabuse.”

Music: “Dr. Mabuse”

The first time I heard “Dr. Mabuse,” I wasn’t familiar with the titular character, and that might be true for you, too, if you’re from the Anglosphere like me. Dr. Mabuse was a literary villain invented by Norbert Jacques, and later made much more famous in a film adaptation of his tale directed by Fritz Lang, the mastermind behind Metropolis. A manipulative criminal kingpin, Mabuse wields strange powers like psychic possession and astral projection, which, despite their seemingly occult origins, often exploit modern technologies, like cinema screens that can hypnotize people. While he may sound like the perfect subject for a chilling, brooding synth-pop anthem, I can’t help but wonder if the character’s relative lack of recognition in the English-speaking world may have hampered this single’s success. While its ominous, gothic energy sets it apart from much of Horn’s other work, it still has some of his characteristic bombast behind its sinister hook, and has an evident “hit single” feel. Still, it performed significantly better in Continental Europe than elsewhere.

Much like ABC’s famous hit, “The Look of Love,” was expanded into a four-part suite that included an instrumental reprise on its LP, this version of “Dr. Mabuse” is listed on the album with the subtitle “First Life,” and assorted variants of it were available in different formats. It also received an arguable reprise with the album’s final track, titled “Strength to Dream / The Last Word.” The title is a bit more opaque than that of “The Look of Love (Part Four),” which made the relationship more obvious, but the synth sequences do bear a rather strong resemblance.

Music: “Strength to Dream / The Last Word”

Unfortunately for Propaganda, Trevor Horn quickly became a little too successful for his own good. Labelmates Frankie Goes to Hollywood achieved unprecedented success with Welcome to the Pleasuredome, and their famous singles “Relax” and “Two Tribes,” which led Zang Tumb Tuum to throw almost all of their promotional support behind their newfound golden child. The release of A Secret Wish was postponed, and Horn was no longer able to produce the rest of the album, besides “Dr. Mabuse.” But despite the fact that Horn isn’t actually here, there’s still a noticeable attempt to finish the album in an aesthetically similar, “in-the-style-of” fashion, and the end result is an LP that's surprisingly quite sonically cohesive!

Music: “Jewel”

With its abrasive textures, aggressive energy, and heavy emphasis on percussion, “Jewel” feels more like a track from the Art of Noise than it does Horn’s triumphant pop productions like “Relax.” “Jewel” also has an alter ego on the same album, and serves as a sort of evil doppelgaenger for the similarly-titled track, “Duel.” The two tracks feature the same lyrics, but vastly different treatments and moods.

Music: “Duel”

I like to think “Jewel” displays how a tumultuous relationship looks from outside, painful and unpredictable, whereas “Duel” is a bit like experiencing it yourself, and being so enraptured by the blissful pain that you don’t realize how frightening the lyrics actually are. Besides the much softer instrumentals, the lead vocal performance by Claudia Bruecken is also markedly different, and I think the contrast between the two is a testament to her vocal chops. Throughout the album, Bruecken’s voice is rich and full of character, setting her apart as one of the more distinctive vocalists in 80s synth-pop.

Overall, “Duel” is perhaps the most accessible and easy to like track on A Secret Wish, and it accordingly became the album’s biggest hit. But unlike most obvious singles, it arrives at the tail end of the album’s first side, after a slew of much more experimental tracks. Not only does “Jewel” arrive before “Duel” does, but the album’s opening track, “Dream Within a Dream,” is an eight-minute psychedelic opus based around a text by Edgar Allen Poe! “Duel” feels a bit like a break for refreshments after listening to the earlier parts of the album. It really is a surprisingly experimental work given its relative commercial success, reaching #16 on the UK albums chart. Still, despite that success, *A Secret Wish* doesn’t seem too strongly remembered today, which is something I’d certainly like to see change. Counterbalanced between pop and the avant-garde, this album sounds like a cross between the Eurythmics and Einstuerzende Neubauten--something I say with as much affection as possible!

At first glance, the cover of A Secret Wish almost appears abstract, an inky web of squiggles. But upon closer inspection, one can see that the object depicted on the cover is actually a dress form, a wireframe in the shape of a human torso, which might be used to display clothing in a retail setting, or in the design of clothing.

While this emblem may not sound particularly sinister, I’m tempted to compare it to Harry Harlow’s famous experiments on rhesus monkeys. Harlow took orphaned baby monkeys and offered them a “cloth mother” and a “wire mother.” Artificial effigies of monkey mothers dispensed food for the test subjects--one with a soft and cuddly body of cloth, and one with a cold and barren armature of wire. When distressed, Harlow’s monkeys sought shelter and comfort from the cloth mothers, regardless of which mother had dispensed food to them, suggesting that the comfort of their soft touch had a value of its own to the monkeys. The results of this research have often been used to suggest the importance of physical contact between children and their caregivers. Propaganda’s use of the cold, bare, female-coded wire frame, enshrined, alone, in the center of a drab-coloured composition, centers the idea of the inhospitable and the unloving. Perhaps it is a symbol of the inhumanity and alienation of modern life?

As I hinted at earlier, A Secret Wish ended up being the only album this version of Propaganda managed to put together, despite the tremendous promise that it shows. Feeling flagrantly under-compensated per the terms of their contract with Zang Tumb Tuum, the members of the band went to court, and eventually jumped ship to Virgin Records instead. That is, except for Claudia Bruecken, who decided to stick with Zang Tumb Tuum for several more years. Later in the 80s, she would team up with Thomas Leer to form the synth-pop duo Act, whose lone LP, Laughter, Tears, & Rage, is a worthwhile listen that I would consider the ideal follow-up to A Secret Wish--though it’s markedly less experimental and percussion-driven, sounding more like late 80s, post-Pet Shop Boys, baroque synth-pop.

Music: “Absolutely Immune”

My personal favourite track on A Secret Wish is the album’s final single, “p:Machinery.” With pounding percussion and buzzing synths, not to mention some dramatic and dystopian lyrics, this is definitely the track on the album that reminds me of Ralf Doerper’s industrial music roots! Apparently, parts of this track’s melody were composed by none other than Japan’s David Sylvian, who receives a minor thank-you in its liner notes. While I don’t think the finished track sounds terribly similar to anything of Sylvian’s, I can’t say I don’t find that pretty interesting. That’s everything for today--thanks for listening!

Music: “p:Machinery”

[vexfulfolly]

The Fondest Memories

hi @cosmicpines I was your gifter for @codesecretsanta!!! I hope you enjoy!

It seemed like a great idea, bringing Aelita into the real world and enrolling her at their school. It wasn’t like they didn’t have time to plan things out— to make sure her transition was as smooth as possible— because they had plenty of time to do so. Whether or not that time was spent agonizing over details that were practically meaningless until confronted later. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there was their daily motto for almost an entire year. 

So they weren’t exactly thinking it all the way through when they created Aelita’s new identity. At a glance, it was watertight. No one would dare to look too deep into anyone associated with the de la Robbias. Looking at Odd’s records was an absolute mess, so why even bother with Aelita’s? 

It was a quick way to get her in the door and out of deep scrutiny, but that in and of itself presented problems. Like right now. It was a month before winter break and each warrior’s family was making plans to bring their children home for the holidays. Except Aelita. 

As it stood, there were only two viable options; someone had to take Aelita home with them (which would be the markedly tougher option), or someone would have to stay behind with her. Despite being somewhat acclimated to Earth, she was still wobbling on fawn-like legs during social situations. Or most situations, granted she was unsupervised. 

Which was what brought everyone together on a crisp afternoon in early November, piled into Jérémie’s room and in deep discussion.

“I hate to say it, but I can’t stay,” Jérémie sighed. “My parents have already booked a flight for me. They thought having a tropical Christmas would be a good idea for some reason.” 

To add insult to injury, he sounded truly apologetic. 

“I’ll be around the corner, but granted I don’t stay at the dorms anyway, my parents definitely won’t take well to me “sneaking off” during family time,” Yumi grimaced, making sure her displeasure over the last few words was clear. 

If the rest of the conversation went as positively as this first two minutes had, they were all screwed. The only two people that remained were Odd and Ulrich— the two people most likely to want to stay at Kadic through the break. 

Odd snorted. “My parents won’t even notice if I’m here or there, but they did book train tickets. If I never showed, they wouldn’t care. So, what say you, good buddy? Am I staying behind or have you already worked it out?” 

Every eye fell on Ulrich in anticipation. 

“I’m staying,” he said simply. 

He was met with several sighs of relief, and one disappointed Odd. “You’re really gonna make me go?” He pouted, though it sounded more like a demand. 

“Yeah, otherwise Jim will get suspicious of too many of us staying behind. Besides, you’ll be able to let Kiwi play in the snow without worrying about getting caught.” 

The resulting whine from the blonde was a cross between exasperation and resignation, and Ulrich had never heard a sound so sweet. Aelita decided she’d make presence known at that point, carefully patting the blonde on the back as he grumbled. “Well, what do you even do over a break? Especially the winter one?” She asked. 

Ulrich shrugged. “Winter stuff.” 

The topic was dropped. 

The first day of the winter break was reserved exclusively for seeing the gang off. Most kids were heading home, though a teeny-tiny minority stayed behind. Ulrich and Aelita were now a part of that minority. 

By the time everyone had left the school, and the halls no longer buzzed with sound, dinner was ending and it was almost curfew. Aelita and Ulrich had spaghetti and meatballs together— much to Odd’s vocal displeasure when he saw it on that evening’s menu— and parted once they reached the dorms. 

“What will we be doing tomorrow?” Aelita asked. 

Ever the over-communicator, Ulrich glanced out the window at the blanket of snow that never seemed to stop growing. “I’ll introduce you to normal winter stuff. Dress warm, we’ll be outside,” he said before waving. “Good night.” 

The next morning found Ulrich walking Aelita through the woods. They wound through thickets and tall snow banks, truly getting to experience what winter had to offer. It was a quiet walk (though, at this point, it was more of a hike than a walk). As they approached the tree line, Aelita’s emerald eyes caught sight of the factory from between the bare trunks. 

“The factory?” She blinked, like it was the last place she’d expect to see. “Why are we here?”

“We’re not here for the factory,” Ulrich started. The duo broke through the edge of the forest and basked in the midday sun. It was then that Aelita noticed that the water that acted like a moat was frozen. 

“We’re here for the lake.” 

Suffice to say, without ice skates, music, and other skaters, the duo were nothing but inelegant. Ulrich taught Aelita how to slide about on the ice, how to skid into something resembling a stop, and getting her to glide backwards. Eventually their ice skating devolved into races around the factory, and to hockey— which they played with two tree branches and a pine cone. 

By the time they started heading back to the school, the sky was dimming. Aelita’s cheeks were cherry red and her breath was coming in short puffs of exhaustion, but the grin on her lips was the most genuine thing. Ulrich even found his own lips tilting upward at the sound of her elated laughter. 

“Oh, that was wonderful, Ulrich!” She beamed, bouncing to and fro through the snow banks. “Can we do this again tomorrow?”

He fought off a chuckle. “Sure. I can show you the other stuff later.” 

Though her curiosity was piqued, she didn’t inquire further about the “other stuff”. Ulrich was coming to realize that she liked surprises. 

Aelita hummed happily the entire walk back to Kadic. The thought made Ulrich warm. When they stumbled back indoors, the fiery sensation of needles on bare skin told the duo they’d been out a bit too long. The back of Ulrich’s thighs were on fire, and Aelita’s fingers cried out in pain. 

She was wincing and nervously shifting her weight from foot to foot when Ulrich pulled her out of her head. 

“There’s only one cure to freezer burn,” he started leading her to the cafeteria, though dinner wasn’t going to be served for hours. “C’mon, I’ll show you how to make it.” 

When they made it into the cafeteria, Ulrich made straight for the kitchen doors, which gave Aelita pause. Students weren’t allowed in the kitchen on a good day— what made Ulrich think trying to get in there over winter break would be a better idea? Even then, one of the lunch ladies was probably in there starting on dinner. They’d be caught in no time, so what was Ulrich planning? 

“You coming, Princess?” 

Aelita had been so deep in thought that she’d completely stopped walking, and was staring intently at Ulrich’s relaxed form. 

“Are you sure that—“

“We’ll be fine. Trust me.” 

With Ulrich acting as cocksure and confident as Odd, Aelita could do nothing more than follow behind him and hope for the best. The moment the door swished shut behind her, Ulrich was greeting Glenda with a nod before heading to the opposite side of the kitchen. He flitted in and out of cupboards and pantry doors before placing a shallow pot on the stove. 

He was still gathering things here and there when Aelita asked, “Why aren’t we getting in trouble?”

Ulrich placed two mugs side by side on the counter. “Odd and I have had our fair share of early mornings and late evenings. Glenda’s always the first one in and the last to leave. Let’s just say, she’s fine with us being here so long as the other students don’t know and we pick up after ourselves.”

Aelita didn’t know why she was so surprised by that fact. Of course, every warrior had their fair share of trauma from Xana. If Odd and Ulrich suffered from nightmares or insomnia, Aelita was no one to judge. Shaking herself from her thoughts, she watched as Ulrich melted a good amount of chocolate in the pot before mixing in some milk. He stirred it lightly for a few minutes more before splitting the contents of the pan between the two mugs. He added a tad extra milk to each one before passing the pinkette a plastic spoon. 

Ulrich tilted his mug in her direction, as if to toast. “To winter break?” He asked. 

“To winter break,” she replied. 

Their cups clinked together, and the second day of winter break came to a close. 

“Since when did you know how to cook?” Aelita asked later that evening. “I didn’t take you as one to— not to offend— be knowledgeable about it.”

Ulrich chuckled lightly. “I’m a terrible cook, I just know how to make hot chocolate. My mother taught me when I was younger. Every year we’d play hockey in brook behind the house, and when we came back we’d make hot chocolate to warm us up.”

Ulrich hasn’t said that many words directly to Aelita for almost as long as they’ve known each other. 

Aelita smiles tentatively. “That’s… really nice.”

Ulrich hums warmly before waving good night to the girl. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early,” he says. 

And Aelita can’t stymie the excited laugh that bubbles up from within. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” 

Even as they walk their separate ways, Aelita likes to think she sees a ghost of a smile on his lips in the reflection on the windows. 

By the time winter break is over, Aelita has been officially inducted into the exclusive group of students given kitchen rights. Four days after starting classes once again, Aelita finds herself standing in the kitchen at half past the witching hour, wondering why her world weary body brought her here. When Glenda sees the girl half asleep in her cup of cocoa, she simply gives the girl a nudge and pushes her out. “Wait! I didn’t get to do the dishes!” She tries to argue. 

“Get some sleep before classes start, and I might forgive ‘ya,” Glenda tuts, and Aelita knows that the lunch lady has won this round. 

When Aelita curls up in her bed, anxieties and nightmares long forgotten, she takes in the lingering scene of hot chocolate in the air and thinks about Ulrich and the week of shrieking laughter and restrained joy they shared. 

Aelita sleeps through the first three classes and shuffles down for lunch looking like death warmed over, but Glenda serves her the best part of the lasagna with a knowing look, and the young girl dines with her friends. 

She feels more like a living, breathing human at that moment than during any other. 

To her, the most human emotion isn’t rage or something as simple as love, she thinks it’s the gleeful innocence of playing in the snow on a cold day, and the creature comfort that is fuzzy socks and diamond snow. 

She no longer feels in binary and thinks in CSS. 

The girl that is Aelita Stones is born on a cloudy day in December, and she is utterly grateful to the boy who pushed her into the wild and wonderful world she now resides in (even if he pushed her into a snowbank to do it).