#in my brain I kept thinking but much better the chemistry between each lead and the other’s friend together were

[undyinglantern]

I feel like I either missed something or maybe I just truly don’t understand romance after all. Every interaction between Tohru and Kyo always felt like that between friends just like how she interacts with uotani and hanajima. Yes kyo’s feeling towards her came across to me, but never the other way around. And then the show saying she was always using the sohma family and the zodiac curse as an excuse for not wanting to be separated from Kyo felt like such an ass pull. Literally the only instance before this to corroborate that is at the very beginning of the show when we got that flashback of her mom telling her the story of the zodiacs and her going oh no and feeling bad for the cat/the cat being her favorite. But that just showed that she was sympathetic/compassionate, and that kept being proven (to a detrimental/self-sacrificial extent) the more family members she met. Never did it indicate she was only being like this to the others because of him specifically. And tiki’s whole loving her like a mother makes no sense either. And when people quote him/the author’s own words of always forcing himself to flirt but that it felt wrong it’s like? Well yeah? On top of being a teenager with stunted growth due to being secluded and abused by akito, he’s also just a teenager? What sort of teenager isn’t clumsy, including possibly in their flirting. Plus, every time he would go “just kidding,” it would always be after seeing tohru’s flustered expression, so I always assumed it was him not trying to pressure her in these situations.

See, my issue with shoujo is I never agree with the final pairings

[byulsgrease]

if you arent too busy, can you write a idol!hwasa x idol!reader, wherein they both have to practice with each other for a special stage. However on the first meeting they become starstruck and cant believe somethings are real, but soon warm up to each other?

i'm not terribly busy but this still took a while anyway oops - sorry this took so long anon! here you go :D

if anyone has requests for the other members hmu cuz I've got 2 more hyejin reqs after this one (not that I'm complaining)

"who says we can't do something on our own?"

(hwasa x idol!reader, ~1.2k words)

cw: food + alcohol mention (y'all know how it is)

I named someone Minjeong - it's not Aespa's Winter, idk anything about 4th gen gg's - 민정 is my Korean name so it's just what came to mind

"Hey, wake up. You've gotta see this. GET UP," a voice piercing through the fog of your sleep.

What a rude awakening. Your shoulders being shaken vigorously by a pair of small hands meant they belonged to none other than Minjeong, your youngest group member. You rolled over to glare menacingly at her with one eye open, trying to pull your brain out of the slumber. All you could see was the bright light of her phone shining in your eyes - a video of some kind. But then you heard the audio:

"Have you seen the clip?" asked the interviewer.

"Yes, my members and many MooMoos made sure I saw it"— Moos? Oh, it's Hwasa. WAIT. Both your eyes flew open as you sat up and snatched Jeongie's phone out of her hand to stare at the video. Your mind immediately flashed back to the interview you did last week - they asked who you most wanted to collaborate with, if there were no limitations. Your ears started to heat up at the sheer thought of the flustered mess of an answer you gave - of course you said Hwasa. Both of you debuted relatively close to each other, within a year, but never interacted much over the years. Mamamoo as a group was a force to be reckoned with, but there was just something about Hwasa specifically. You mostly just admired her unique singing voice and undeniable stage presence, and her relentless drive to always be herself in an industry constantly trying to fit women into a box.

Finally snapping out of re-living that embarrassment, your attention turned back to the phone in your hand. The interviewer must've asked her to send a message in response to you, because you couldn't believe that she was waving and saying, "How haven't we gotten to know each other better over all these years? I'd love to work with you on something sometime," curtly dipping her head in a slight bow.

"SEE? You needed to see that," Minjeong rushed to say, full of energy. "And close your mouth, your jaw's on the floor," jokingly pointing.

You side-eyed her and shut your mouth. "Is this what Loco felt like when she called him during Hyena on the Keyboard?" you wondered aloud.

"At least she's not calling you while on camera," she commented, knowing full well that you'd probably embarrass yourself again if she did. "But hey, at least she noticed you! Can I have my phone back now?" It would be a dream come true to collaborate with her, but cross-company collabs... always a pain. that couldn't be helped. The fantasy abruptly ended with demands from your rumbling stomach. Done with your what-if's, you placed the phone back in your maknae's outstretched hand to get up and make breakfast.

~~~~

With award show season rolling around, the crazy scramble of rehearsing for special live stages without leaking sets and collabs began. Checking your email that morning showed a schedule to record the backing track for a special live stage, but that was it. With who? You texted your members a screenshot, but they all told you that block of time in their schedule was empty. A solo stage? The solo mini-album you released this cycle did relatively well, the title track got a music show win, but not a multi-week chart-topper by any means. Possibilities turning over in your mind, you stepped out from your place to head to the company, totally in the dark about what was in store.

The recording studio always smelled the same along with the couches, a comfort for all the insanely long nights and crack-of-dawn early mornings over the years. With a bit of time to kill, you plopped down on one and gingerly patted the worn cushions as some kind of symbolic thank-you for supporting you (literally).

A hesitant but loud knock sent your gaze directly to the door. Watching it slowly open, you leaned forward to see who it was. Needless to say, your jaw fell to the floor again as you clapped a hand over your gaping mouth, eyes widening. Like a soldier obeying a command, you immediately stood up as straight as possible and bowed profusely at Hwasa, sporting a very similar expression on her face (which you failed to notice, your mind running a million miles a minute).

After a series of frantic bows and miscellaneous utterances to each other, she spoke. "It's nice to finally meet you," she said with calm, surveying your frenzied state. "I guess we're granting that collab wish from your interview, huh?"

The red-hot embarrassment leapt to your face. "I...I definitely made a fool of myself answering that question. And our maknae showed me your interview clip too, which was cool, but never did I think it would actually happen," you stammered. I should probably stop talking.

"Well, here I am," she half-smiled coolly. "Let's get started, I'm really looking forward to finally work with you on this," a gleam in her eye and a hint of excitement in her voice.

The studio suddenly felt a lot smaller with her in it, despite there only being your managers, the producer, and the both of you - less people than you and your members alone. Both of you remained relatively quiet the whole time, rather unsure of what to say or talk about. You watched enough MMMTV to know that all the members on their own were shyer than together, and Hwasa knew the same was true for you. But the work basically took care of itself, seamlessly taking turns in the recording booth, witnessing each other's work style and process. The both of you knew your way in front of a mic, seasoned professionals by now. Upon wrapping up, you bowed politely to each other after a quick exchange of KaTalk info, a short and sweet goodbye.

That was... anticlimactic. I mean, it's finally happening - I can't believe it. But maybe I was too idealistic about maybe creating a meaningful relationship with her outside of work... What does she think of me?

~~~~

In the days leading up to the collab stage, you kept going back and forth on whether to reach out or not, despite now being in possession of her contact info. What would you even say? Thoughts of a witty one-liner or relatable meme came to mind, but maybe she'd assume the worst - that you were clout-chasing, or something. Anxieties abuzz, your phone vibrated in your pocket. The KaTalk notification sprawled across your screen. Speak of the devil, it's her.

"Hey, awards season has me stressed. I know you must pretty busy right now too, but I somehow get off early tomorrow if you wanna grab dinner after work?" You had to reread that one. Oh, what? She's inviting me?

Trying not to be weird about responding too quickly, you typed out, "Wow, yeah, that sounds great! ^^ wait, your company doesn't care about you going out to eat during award season?"

"nah, they stopped having that kind of control over us a while ago, we are the money-maker of the company, after all 😏"

"so I guess this means they don't check your phone either ㅋㅋㅋ"

"nope :)"

You proceeded to set a time and place to meet, someplace with meat.

In the process of feasting on an inordinate amount of gopchang imbued with a splash of beer, you learned a fair amount about each other. You talked career, professional aspirations, the weird habits of your members, and more. What surprised you most was the amount of things she already knew about you, having admitted to watching some of your behind-the-scenes content after seeing your interview clip.

"Ah... I'm sorry if I came across as distant during that first recording session," she confessed, pausing to sip her beer. "I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, I felt a little star-struck."

"Oh what?? I felt the exact same, so no worries - and sorry if I came off similarly distant," you rambled back. A bit of silence fell between you, acknowledging the mutual sentiment. You spoke up after a bit, "Thanks for inviting me out tonight, I didn't realize how much I needed this."

"Thank you for making the time, I had fun getting to know you better," she articulated with a smile. "Maybe it'll make the collab stage better," she added on jokingly. You responded with a nod and expression of mutual affirmation.

~~~~

After that, messaging each other became a regular occurrence, that gopchang outing having broken the ice. Honestly, you tried your best to talk about anything besides work, but the baseline of shared understanding connected you in a way that came more naturally than it did with your non idol friends.

You stood across the way from her at the sound check for the final stage, dressed in joggers and slides. Funny to think that you'd be recording this for real in a couple hours, making eyes with the blinking red light on the cameras surrounding you. It sucks that fans wouldn't get to experience the energy and atmosphere of the performance - Hyejin alone is one thing, but adding someone else into her stage presence? Unmatched. There's nothing quite like a live performance - and while you knew everyone in the industry dealt with the consequences of the pandemic, it certainly took a toll to perform and not feel the energy from fans. But realistically, nothing you could do about it. The sound check went over smooth like butter. The stage chemistry came flowing naturally between you both, even when bare-faced and dressed in just sweats.

And when the time came for the actual filming, you both absolutely killed it, an upbeat mash-up of TWIT and your title track. At the very end came a sliver of hesitation before throwing your arms around each other with a big smile for the ending fairy, proud of the work you accomplished together, and a mental fist-pump to yourself for making friends with one of the industry's finest.

Once again walking to a restaurant that served mostly meat to celebrate, you playfully proposed, "We... should do that again sometime." A little puff of air came out her nose in amusement.

"Yeah, we should. Too bad we're gonna have to wait a whole cycle before we can release anything else together again," she sighed longingly.

"Who says we can't do something on our own?"

[dcnatural]

What Hides In The Dark

Anonymous requested: Hello. May I request a imagine about Tim Drake being a werewolf and only his S/O can calm the wolf down if he lose control (this purely inspired by a fic lol).

Word Count: 1423 

Pairing: Werewolf!Tim x Reader

Rating: Mature

Synopsis: Your boyfriend, Tim Drake, is a werewolf, and when he escapes, it’s up to you to make sure he’s safe

The full moon was high in the Gotham sky, it’s pale silver glow illuminating the city bellow. The streets were silent at this time of the night, save for the occasional rumbling of a passing car. Most law abiding citizens would never, under any circumstance, leave their houses after the sun disappeared below the horizon. The nights belonged to the criminals and the vigilantes.

And to you. You didn’t belong to any of the two categories, but you still had your place in the darkened streets. Always lurking somewhere in the middle of the good and the bad, you wandered by this cursed city way past midnight, looking for the beings of shadow and fear. If the vigilantes kept the city safe from thieves and murderers, you kept it safe from demons and monsters.

Despite sharing the cover that the darkness offered, the worlds of nature and magic barely ever crossed paths. It wasn’t your duty to fight serial killers, and it wasn’t Batman’s duty to send ghosts back to where they had come from. You didn’t even know if he acknowledge the parallel battle happening in the city.

Your mission had been passed to generation after generation of your family. Your bloodline possessed the rare ability to see behind the mask of reality, and considered their sacred duty to keep the supernatural at bay. You lived to protect the others from what they couldn’t see.

But sometimes, fate had a funny way of uniting people. Murderer by day, werewolf by night, Kyle Abbot had proven himself a menace in all forms. It was investigating Abbot that you first ran into Robin. The chemistry was explosive. You didn’t believe in love at first sight before, but it was the only way to explain what had happened in the moment your gaze crossed his. 

The two of you had a lot in common: both were warriors fighting the battle against the darkness, living a secret life surrounded by mysteries and lies. Neither of you had many friends, and in each other, you and him found companionship. You should have known better. You should have seen it coming. For you knew that no good things happened when magic and nature mingled.

During the fight, the werewolf’s claws pierced Robin’s suit, scratching the skin. After the police had Abbot under custody, you immediately treated Robin’s wounds. But it was too late, the damage had been done: in the next full moon, he would be transformed into a wolf and there was nothing you could do to stop that. In a strange way, his new condition brought the two of you closer. You began to meet him daily, going out every day after class. He trusted you with his real identity, and you trusted him with yours.

In the days leading to his first shifting, you arranged a safe space, a place he could stay when his bones cracked to accommodate his new form, and his hair grew to cover his whole body. You kept Tim company during the full moons. You protected him and prevented him from doing harm to others. Even in his irrational wolf form, he began to bond with you: his animal self becoming loyal to you.

But even the best engineered cages sometimes fail, and that's how you found yourself running around Gotham, following the trail of bloody footprints staining the gray concrete. You found him cornered against the wall of a dead end, a huge wolf with reddish-brown fur, jaw open, revealing the sharp fangs, and claws ready to attack. Blocking the entrance of the alley, there was a man wearing a black suit with a blue, bird-shaped design in his chest. He wielded escrima sticks, ready to defend himself from the creature.

���Dick!”, you shouted, not needing to see the man’s face to recognize him as Tim’s adoptive brother. “Don’t hurt him!”

Nightwing turned, and the moment his eyes left the wolf, the animal jumped on top of him, it’s weight bringing him down.

“Tim! No!”, you commanded, voice slightly unsure. What if he doesn’t listen to me?

But he did. The creature’s head snapped in your direction, eyes glowing yellow like embers. A thick thread of saliva hang from its open mouth, dripping into Nightwing’s cheek.

“Tim”, you tried again, testing if he was indeed reacting to your words. The wolf blinked expectantly. “Please, I need you to back away.”

There was a beat of silence, but then he slowly let go of his older brother. You smiled and nodded at Tim, and gave a tentative step towards him. His fur bristled up and quicker than your eyes could register, he ran past you, disappearing between the buildings and cars.

 Dick pushed himself back onto his feet. “What did you do to my brother?”, he inquired, anger making his skin burn red. He towered over you, and your heartbeat quickened. 

“What?”, you exclaimed. How dare he blame me for this? “How is this my fault?”

He poked your chest with a gloved finger. “He starts dating a witch and suddenly he became a werewolf? I’m pretty sure it’s your fault.”

“I’m not a witch”, you said through gritted teeth. “I can use magic, but I’m not a witch.”

“It doesn’t matter. Just undo whatever you have done.”

“I did nothing!” And then realization hit you. “You didn’t know, did you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Tim never told you or Bruce that he is a werewolf.”

A unreadable expression took over Dick’s face. “How long? How long has he been like this?”

Your lips curved in a pitiful smile. “Six months. It’s kind of what brought us together.”

He closed his eyes, rubbing a finger in his forehead. You had noticed Bruce did the same thing when thinking. Finally, he sighed. “I’m sorry I accused you. But we need to find him, before someone hurts him.”

“Or he hurts someone”, you completed.

* * *

It took half an hour for you to find Tim again. For a large animal, he was surprisingly good at hiding. Fallen leaves in shades of brown, red, yellow and orange covered the ground of Robinson Park. Chewing noises came from a bush, and you ran the remaining distance. Crouching on the grass, the wolf devoured a blood covered bunny.

You approached him carefully. “Timmy”, you called and once more, he stopped what he was doing to look at you. You took a deep breath and kneeled on the ground, so your face would be level with his. Your actions were measured, you were afraid of scaring him away once more. 

His animalistic gaze held yours and you dared to reach a hand out. It hang awkwardly in air for a second, before Tim moved forward, burying his snout on your palm and licking it greedily. You raised your other hand to caress his ears and he barked, seemingly at ease.

“Good boy”, you whispered.

Nightwing handed you the collar and leash he had picked over during your search. And while you hated having to use those on Tim, you had to agree it was the best way to bring him back to your hideout. 

Making Tim walk back into the cage was complicated, as he would often try to race after passing cars or pick fights with street dogs, but after a long journey, you and Dick managed to successfully secure Tim inside it. You checked the padlock twice, and cast a spell just to be sure, before turning your back to the cage.

“I should go”, Dick said, running the back of his hand along his forehead to clean the droplets of sweat that had formed during the mission. “I’ll talk with him tomorrow.”

“Try not to judge too much. I know it’s complicated and unusual, but he’s still the same person he was before”, you told him before waving your goodbyes. 

Once Dick was gone, you sat on the wooden rocking chair you usually used and stayed awake until the sun rose. You always hated seeing the transition: the cries of pain that escaped Tim’s throat made your heart break. He blinked once, then twice, his brain adjusting to the return of his human senses.

“Hey, you”, you said, rising to open the door.

“Hey”, Tim answered, his voice sore and sleepy. He stumbled onto his feet and hugged you, head resting on your shoulder. “Thank you.”

“What for?”, you inquired.

“For being here. For helping me.”

You smiled and kissed him. “It’s you and me, Tim Wolf. You and me against the world.”

[all-of-the-imagines-for-eve]

Not Sorry ~ Embry Call (part 2)

A/n: Here we are, a finish as promised. Enjoy!

Word Count: 5500+

MASTERLIST

I was genuinely stunned. "Um... excuse me, what?"

He winced. "That was weird. I just- I promise I'm usually better than this, I'm so sorry. Please, if you'd just give me a chance I swear-"

Before I could even begin to hide the smile that was rising on my face or make sense of the nagging part of my brain that wanted me to say yes, Jake was intervening. He was eyeing Embry up and down, making him uncomfortable and setting me on edge. I couldn't exactly explain why Jacob making Embry nervous irritated me so much, but I knew that there was something I was missing and I didn't like any of it. "Did you imprint on her?" My ex demanded.

Embry shrugged awkwardly. "Imprint?" I asked. Both both looked at me, Jake's expression a little startled as if he'd forgotten I was there... and then as if realizing that he'd forgotten my presence was even more stunned. "What's that?"

"I think you're cute," Embry cut in. He was suddenly so casual, but it was natural and believable. Was he really just that good of a liar or was it the charm and charisma that made it so easy to believe him? "Sorry to cut in, I know you two have history and if I'm cutting in-"

Jake went to say something but I cut him off. "Jacob and I dated over a year and a half ago," I dismissed with ease. Jake's mouth snapped shut abruptly, his eyes a little hurt. I focused on Embry. "He made it pretty clear it was plenty over, and it's been plenty over for quite some time, as I said before. To call it interrupting would be ridiculous. Jacob and I aren't even friends anymore." I looked at Jake finally. "Right, Black?"

Jacob looked angry. Movement caught my eye and I saw his hands shaking at my side. Noticing my head drop, Embry followed my gaze to take the same notice I had. Immediately he shot into action like a bomb was going to go off, choosing to move me back rather than touch Jake and move him. At first I was startled, but he was even more natural and careful about that, slipping his arms around my shoulder and pulling me away from Jacob, walking away and turning my back to the other boy instead of actually grabbing me and moving me. I wondered briefly if Jake had adopted anger issues in the last year and a half. Maybe he was a little too physical nowadays... Whatever it was, Embry's reaction was instinctual and immediate. It wasn't planned or badly meant. I didn't hesitate to follow his lead, closing my door before falling into step next to him. That seemed to ease him, and he got even more relaxed the further we got from Jake. "So now that that's sorted, I think I was pretty forward with my feelings. How about you? Maybe I could take you to dinner? Or lunch? At least get your number?" He wiggled his eyebrows and despite myself, I laughed.

"Maybe you could," I mused, touching my chin as if I was actually thinking about it. His smile let me know he wasn't at all fooled. "It really depends... what are you doing right now?"

He looked back to some other boys, further down the beach in the direction he had come from. I assumed they were his other friends. They were all tall and muscular, but when Embry raised a thumb in the air, the one who stood in the middle of the mass of boys - the biggest and tallest - nodded at him, smiling. It was the boy I thought was Sam. By the way he nodded at Embry, he seemed to be in charge, so that theory tracked.

When he turned back to me, my gaze subconsciously drew to him as well, our eyes meeting and my stomach filling with warmth that slowly spread into the rest of my body, banishing the lack of total warmth in the air today. "I'm free."

Emotions zipped through me, all opposing each other and each pulling me in a different direction. It was overwhelming, shutting down logic and slowing my ability to make sense of anything. So, instead, I simply let my mouth move and what cane out was, "Know any fun things to do around here?"

-

The very first thing I did was drag Quil along. The idea of being alone with Embry made me nervous and uncomfortable. He was tall and strong- much bigger than me - and I didn't know him. Everything I did know about him screamed at me to hightail it. But, I wasn't doing that, so I took other precautions. Plus, any reason to hang out with Quil was a good reason.

We ended up at Quil's, with me on his back as Embry asked me question after question, getting to know me and letting me go off about things I cared about. How annoying the Cullens and Bella were. How boring and stupid school is. How fun fixing things up was...

"You have quite the little business going." He said it with a smile, his eyebrow quirked. His tone was almost a joking one except that his eyes were so light up with admiration that I knew he wasn't mocking as much as he was in awe.

I shrugged, playing it cool. Quil chuckled underneath me- we had fallen back in step without even a falter, as if no time had passed at all. There had never been bad blood between us. I hadn't even been mad about him leaving- we had talked about him wanting to join Sam's gang only because it would mean being back with Embry. They'd never officially gotten together but he did miss his friendship with the other boy, if nothing else. Embry had meant a lot more to Quil than I did. Why would he turn down the chance to be with him again? So now, it was fine and easy and fun and light, just like it used to be.

The easy going vibe between me and Quil carried to Embry, who's eyes never left me.

It was strange. Every time Embry had come to mind before this, a part of me hated him. Hated how he had hurt Quil. And another, bigger part of me thought that if it was possible, I'd want them to get together. I'd want them to be happy and end differently than Jacob and I did. Prove that there were happy endings.

Yet here they were now. The way Embry looked at me was not lowkey, and it was even more obvious that Quil picked up the odd chemistry between us, because he kept smirking and chuckling and shaking his head and giving Embry and I pointed looks- teasing silently, but teasing nonetheless. They had been reunited, back in each other's lives, and they hadn't gotten together? Had I somehow misconstrued the relationship between them? I mean Quil never SAID there was... anything romantic. But I had assumed. I mean Quil had insinuated...

It was even stranger that I was relieved, if I was being honest. The same magnetism that seemed to keep Embry's eyes on me also seemed to pull me closer to him. Made my hands itch to touch him. Made it easier to smile and forget the rest of the world as I lost myself in the sound of his laughter and breathing and how his words formed, his lips moving in a way that was almost mesmerizing. I wanted to know everything about him and I wanted to know it now.

Quil's mom was very happy to see me. Our greeting and reunion cut into the spell that seemed to be on me. "Oh I'm so glad you're back!" she gushed, grinning. As always her energy and warmth were contagious and I felt at ease and happy. When Quil and I hung out before, she had begun to accommodate for having me around all the time. We had sleepovers whenever we could. When she found out what my home life was like, she was only too eager to make this place mine as well. Making home a place I could go to again. "Our table has been empty without you."

I sheepishly rubbed the back of my neck. Quil's house was so different from Bella's- even though it was also quite similar too. It was just Quil and his mom, the same way it was just Charlie and Bella. However, Mrs. Ateara was a lot more homey and motherly and warm than Charlie was. She was compassionate and picked up on everything, asserting herself and fixing problems in a way that awkward, unsure Charlie just wouldn't. It didn't make me miss him any less, though.

"You'll have to come over for dinner more often then," Quil piped up.

My smile fell. I was struggling again. I missed Quil so much. But we weren't friends anymore. This wasn't my home anymore. It hadn't been for a long time. This wasn't my life anymore.

Looking at Embry, I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. What was I doing?!

"Quil can I talk to you? Privately?" The words tumbled out of my mouth a little too fast, making Embry frown and Quil shuffle awkwardly.

"Yeah sure." We moved outside, where they shouldn't have been able to hear us. "What's up?"

"Whats up?" I asked, a little irritated. He shrugged. "What's going on, Quil? Why are we pretending like nothing happened? Why are you pretending like I'm going to be coming over every Friday night like I used to? Why do you guys seem so... tired and worn down?" It was so hard. There was a part of me that was fighting to just go back to the way everything was. That part of me had taken control on the way over here. That part of me had fallen back with Quil far too easily. That part of me yearned for a boy that shouldn't have been on my mind. "What happened between you and Embry?"

Quil sighed. "I know it's really confusing... Let's just take it slow, okay? All you need to know for now is that I'm glad we're hanging out again, if you want to do that. And Embry has taken a liking to you."

"And you and Embry?" I pushed.

He paused, seeming to be struggling to find the words to explain to me. "Embry and I are just friends, and we're both happy with it being that way."

I stared at him for a long time. "Okay," I said slowly. "Okay," I repeated. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"Wanna go back inside now?" After a second I nodded and he reopened the door, both of us going back inside.

Embry grinned upon seeing me. "We were thinking about playing a game. Monopoly or Uno?"

"Uno," Quil and I said at the same time." We looked at each other and despite myself, I laughed.

This was weird... but not bad. Maybe weird could be okay for a while.

-

It was odd enough, being thrown head first back into a life that had been abruptly taken from you without a single warning. A life you had just barely come to terms with never having again. A life you desperately missed. Fridays were spent at Quil's again. Tuesdays were at the Swan's. Yeah. As Quil, Embry and I hung out more, I eventually ran into Bella again. She was stoked to see me and had that same habit the others did of pretending nothing had changed. I was too relieved to be hanging out with Charlie to care. Between my own happiness and Charlie's obvious enthusiasm to having me return, that was a button I didn't push.

It was odd enough.

They just HAD to make it worse, didn't they?

First of all, Jake was being super emo and possessive of me which made not a lick of sense. He had broken up with me. He had burnt that bridge. And a while ago too! Why was he getting upset over the way Embry was flirting with me? Also: Why was Embry flirting with me? I'd finally come to terms that in my absence, things with Quil and Embry had kind of fallen apart on the romantic side. It made sense to me- things were the same with me and Jake. Except, how were they both so completely okay with it? Why were things so hard for me and Jake? Why was it so complicated and confusing? What was with the was Sam lead the group of boys like he had some kind of blackmail on them, in the way they couldn't say no? Why did they cut their hair and what was with that tattoo? Why did I see them so often with their shirts off or pieces of clothing tied around their ankles? Were they afraid their pants would blow off in the wind?

Okay so a lot of questions, obviously. Every time I brought it up though, everyone absolutely refused to give me any real answers. They were either really vague or snapped at me, or they were vague until I pushed too far and then they snapped at me. I was getting nowhere. It was like they just wanted me to hang out with Embry and fall in love with him or some shit without being clued in on any level to the shit happening behind the scenes. Shit that, apparently, even Bella was full aware of.

Which made no sense, since it seemed the Cullens and Sam's boys had a weird rivalry, even though as far as I knew they'd never met long enough in person or in any other way to have started beef with each other. With Bella dating Edward, it made no sense for her to be here all the time- even if she was best friends with Jacob.

It seemed the only sane person in this whole group was Leah.

She was broody and sarcastic and sassy and bitter and I absolutely loved her. She wasn't as quick to obey Sam as the other guys, and seem unwanted in the group. There was something awkward about her, Sam, and Sam's girlfriend, Emily. Who apparently was Leah's cousin. There was an even weirder vibe about how the other boys handled it- especially Sam. The worst part everyone kind of rolled their eyes at her and pushed her away, so naturally, I made friends with her as soon as she'd let me.

Let me tell you: she was really stuck on not letting me.

She warmed up to me when I started bitching about howe absolutely idiotic men were.

After that, my Thursdays were spent at the Clearwater's, goofing around with Seth and rolling my eyes with Leah. Seth and I had even gotten a smile out of her a few times. It was exciting. She had a beautiful smile. I wished she could be happy enough to smile all the time.

I found myself slowly but surely getting more and more involved with the boys and all their friends. 

Paul and I developed more of a physical, passive relationship. Most often, we tended to be simply friends of friends, unless one of us was bored. Then there was wrestling and shoving and ruffling of hair and all kinds of stuff. He often won, but by the way Embry hovered and Sam kept him back, easing him actively every second of my interactions with Paul, there seemed to be something dangerous about it. Even when I won, it didn't seem to be a real victory. It made me wonder if Paul was holding back. What was he really capable of?

Jared and I were pretty similar, instead taking a more humorous approach to the brief and far in between interactions. We usually cracked jokes, light heartedly teasing the others and each other. It was usually when everyone else was busy or someone was being coupley and Jared and I happened to do the whole loud, annoying 'awwwwww' thing like we were ten years old. He was fun and I rather enjoyed it, but when he would wink at me, insinuating a dirty joke of some sort, Embry would tense and get all jealous and Jared would look away and the whole mood would be ruined.

Even my hang outs with Quil started to be invaded by Embry whenever he got the chance to. My rant sessions with Leah started to be all about him and how much he was irritating me, and that seemed to amuse Leah while also disappointing her. I wondered a few times if she was telling him what I was saying. Why else did she get that sad look in her eye when I told her I was relieved I had her to talk to- someone I could trust. Someone who wouldn't let it slip to Embry until I was ready to share. When I'd start to push it, she'd bring up Sam and we'd be off ranting again, switching off to give her time to let some things off of her chest. Seth had even started to lay off. Our relationship was quite similar to mine and Paul's except lighter and with far other kinds of interactions. We could goof and joke and often made people laugh. It was innocent and light and fun. Every time Seth got too physical with me though, Embry was immediately next to us, separating us for some reason or another.

Yeah I was getting real close to the boys.

And even closer to decking Embry right in his stupid pretty face.

For a guy who was trying to woe me, he was succeeding only in confusing and irritating me. He set off all my red flags. He kept secrets and was possessive and over protective. He flirted with me and asked me out on dates, but then sometimes flaked because "Sam needs me" but wouldn't go into further detail.

I'd had enough. Despite common sense, I actually did have a small crush on him. By ourselves he was funny and sweet and considerate. His actions above all else made me feel like he was two people in one body. Or that there was something huge going on that they weren't cluing me into.

Which of course meant I had to immediately do some digging.

Since I was getting nothing from my friends, I decided to head straight for the Cullens. One night I knew they would be Bella-free, I made cookies and drove over to deliver them. It was secluded and mostly glass. It made me self conscious. How did they change in those rooms? They must have done a lot of fighting for the bathroom. Or maybe it was just like a "there's no one around". Or they had nothing to be ashamed of. They didn't have to hide their bodies from possibly prying eyes. That wouldn't surprise me. They were the most perfect human beings I'd ever seen in my life, if a little cold and distant from everyone else.

Emmet answered the door. He smiled. "Hey."

"Hi," I greeted brightly. I hoped that they'd be more inclined to let me in and hear me out and give me some answers if I was friendly. If I had a peace offering, even. I held out the cookies. "I just thought I'd drop by. Uh, we live weirdly close to each other for people who have never interacted and I was wondering..." I put on my best faux innocent smile. "If someone here was good at chemistry? I'm struggling."

Emmet actually smiled, seeming amused by my words. I hoped he was buying the act. I'd practiced for so long. "All of us are pretty good at school actually." Of course they were. "Why didn't you ask Bella though? Isn't she also good at chemistry?"

"She's good at biology," I corrected softly, trying to stay on his good side. "They're a little different but just enough. Plus, she's got her own work load and I bug her for help and am over there so often... plus, it might be nice to have some more acquaintances at school, if you guys absolutely refuse to be friends." I rose an eyebrow and Emmett laughed.

He sobered up a little, seeming about ready to tell me no. I sagged. The door opened wider and a small girl slithered around him and in front of him, beaming at me. "Oh my gosh, Y/n!" It was Alice and I had absolutely no idea why she was so excited to see me but like okay I guess. She took the cookies from me, backing up. Emmet moved out of her way, as confused as I was. "Come inside, I have so much to tell you. About everything." 

My eyes widened. Could she... know? That was impossible.

She guided me inside, passed Edward who was sitting at the table with a book he was currently ignoring to confusedly stare between me and Alice, and Dr. Carlisle, who was leaning against the kitchen island as if waiting for me. "Welcome to our home, Y/n. What can we do for you today?" I got the weird feeling that I was at a doctor's office. Or maybe a mental hospital. His smile was so kind it seemed weird. No one had ever smiled at me with such warm softness before. Was that even humanly possible?

Edward shifted positions from the corner of my eyes. A second after, so did Carlisle. Alice switched the hand that was on her hip and Emmet shuffled before shrugging and then going upstairs. Was it just me or did those movements seem super planned? They happened as if timed, each person triggering the other person to fidget. It was odd.

"I'm gonna talk to her for a bit. Catch up. The such. Is that okay?" Her eyes bore into his and I got the sense that she was asking a different question than the one she'd specifically proposed. Is that okay?

Edward sighed and Carlisle paused before finally nodding hesitantly. "If you girls need anything, let me know." Then he very casually walked upstairs. Is that where everyone went when they exited the room? Weren't there other places to go aside from up or out?

Standing, Edward walked over to us, closing his book. His smile was pleasant. "Mind if I join?" Alice looked at me and I shrugged. This was their house, and I might actually be getting answers. If not then having someone else t bounce off of to keep the conversation going for whatever Alice wanted to talk about might be helpful.

"So what did you want to tell me?" I asked Alice.

She smiled. "What do you want to know?" I thought a second before she placed her hand on top of my arm. I gasped softly, tensing slightly. It was ice cold. "Just be blunt. No reason to overthink."

Honestly she was a god send. "What's up with you and Sam's gang?" I hated calling it that but it was better than Sam's Cult, of which most of my friends were apart of. Edward smiled like something amusing had been said. 

Alice tilted her head, thinking. "They're self determined duty is to keep those like us in check. Behaving. We made a promise we would so we're kind of in this truce, but they still don't trust us. It's... tense."

"People like you?" I pressed, eager to soak up every bit of knowledge she'd give me.

Edward's jaw worked. "Normally we wouldn't tell you this. It's sort of illegal." He gave Alice a side eye, giving me the vibe that whatever he was about to say was actually super illegal. What law would prevent him from simply telling me something? Was he about to confess to some crime? He spoke, cutting my thoughts off. "But they're involving you in their lives without telling you the consequences. I played that game with Bella, and Jake tried to as well. It's not fair. You deserve to know."

I rose an eyebrow, leaning away nervously. "Know...?" I prompted.

Alice jumped up. "Come on, I'll show you something." She took me upstairs, to Edward's bedroom. There was a door that opened up into nothing, and it made absolutely no sense to me... until she simply stepped off, plummeting two stories or so.

"ALICE!" I ran to the edge, only to look down to my utter shock and see her on the ground, completely unharmed and even unfazed, smiling up at me. If that made my head spin, next she crouched down, her eyes leveling to the empty spot next to me. I tripped over myself to get backwards, but not before I saw her very clearly jump up to the second story of the house like she was hopping up on a curb, landing lightly and without problem.

"What the... hell?" I whispered, drawing each other out in confusion. I looked at Edward, demanding answer.

He shook his head. "Excuse me." Then  he moved to that same door, crouching like Alice had before launching himself a ridiculous height and difference, before he landed on a tree. Very far up a tree. And then stuck to the bark like some kind of tree frog. As I thought the comparison, I heard him laugh. I was distracted by a hand pressing to my shoulder. It was Alice. She smiled reassuringly. Edward was suddenly next to me again, making me jump as he spoke. "Any questions?"

There wasn't a bed to sit on, as I just noticed, so I put my hands on my hips and just thought.

I'd heard the legends of the Cold Ones of course. I'd heard them all my childhood and even recently from Billy at a few campfires. The ones who never aged. Who's skin was as cold as ice. Like Alice's. Who's strength and speed was inhuman. I looked at Edward but before I could even ask, he pointed. As I looked to see what he had pointed at, there was a slight push of wind against my shoulder and a blur in my peripheral and suddenly my eyes landed on Edward, in the tree again and much further than last time. This time he went a little slower - even though "slow" still wasn't the word for it - coming back, so I could see him a little better as he did so. It was insane.

Alice and Edward were soon joined by the other Cullens and I stepped back, swallowing hard. "So like are you guys going to eat me now?" I tried not to joke but my brain really wasn't processing this on any level so I coped by cracking one anyway.

Esme actually coughed, trying to cover up a laugh. Her smile was that same soft warm, welcoming grin that Carlisle had been wearing before. They seemed so kind and loving it was impossible to ever imagine them sinking far too sharp teeth into the neck of some poor human being. Covered in blood and everything. My eyes landed on Edward, seeing him wearing a knowing smile.

"We... eat animals," Edward told me slowly.

My eyes widened. "Oh." Forget a bed or chair. I sat down right there, on the floor.

"Let's give the human a little room," Rosalie said lazily. I let out a strong breath that made her smile. Everyone shot her a look but I smiled in return, genuinely appreciating that she understood somehow why I had made a joke before. I appreciated her humor. Despite their distaste in her approach, the Cullens did give me a wide birth, though none of them left. That reassured part of me... and in a way made me even more anxious.

I felt odd. Like my mind was suddenly not apart of me anymore. I felt like I had been shoved in a movie or a book. Or that this was a dream. Vampires were REAL? What YA novel was I apart of?

While my body floated in this sort of fantasy world, my brain refused to acknowledge it as MY world. Like I was a character in a tv show, but I knew that I was a character and that this was a tv show. It felt unsettling. Like the world around me wasn't real. Is this how Deadpool lived his life? How did one manage that? How could anyone tolerate this feeling? How could you stay sane in a world you knew was just the scrambling creation of some author who was creating a world and characters to satiate what they found unsatisfying about their own world and themself?

"Y/n." A hand on my shoulder. I looked up and met the almost yellow eyes of Edward Cullen. His lips were pursed. "I'm sorry if this is a little startling." He seemed to struggle for words. "It was a bit much for us too, when we first found out." His lips twitched, almost into a smile. "We had a few centuries to figure it out."

I broke into hysterical laughter. I felt a little insane, my body shaking just slightly. The others were quiet as I calmed from Edward's joke that wasn't that funny. "I'm sorry," I gasped, hiccuping. "I feel a little..."

"I understand," Edward offered when I couldn't explain what I was feeling. "You're disassociating. It's okay, it happens." His smile rose a little more to the surface. "I think I've gotten too used to Bella sort of just... handling these things. It's been a long time since I've had to help someone come to terms with this whole thing like a normal person."

After a second, I took a deep breath and shook my head to clear it. Real. This was real. I was real. "You eat animals?" My brain filled with the books I'd read as a kid, and movies I'd seen much more recently. An image with Edward, teeth sharp and mouth covered in blood. I opened my eyes. Edward wasn't smiling anymore. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

He shook his head, silently forgiving me. "This is honestly reassuring. At least some humans are still sane." He paused. "We call ourselves vegetarians. It's not as filling, but it allows us to not eat, uh, people, so I guess-" He shrugged, flinching at his words.

Chuckling again, shaking my head in wonder, I took yet another breath in. My chest felt tight. It was like I had to remind myself to circulate air through my system. My brain was short circuiting. "Okay," I said finally. "Why- why did you tell me this? You said it was illegal."

Carlisle kneeled in front of me. Edward was looking at him before he even moved. I was just grateful that he didn't super speed it. I might have passed out. "Just like you, we have a sort of government. They have rules, just as you have laws. The consequence for breaking those laws is death."

I was pretty sure I paled. "Why would you risk yourselves like that?" As much as I wasn't familiar with these people, I had gone to school with them for four years. I saw them talk and love and learn. I'd had lunches and classes with them. Emmet had been my partner for geometry and we'd spent the whole class losing our minds laughing. Alice had asked me for directions on her first day here. Even Rosalie had stood up for me once, when a guy had been a little too pushy about taking me to a dance after I'd been the only one left without a date and his date had dipped and he didn't want to seem lame by showing up alone. The thought of them dying to tell me something I didn't need to know... it made me sick.

Edward's expression was soft, and I realized that he could read my mind. I didn't know how I knew, but with all the weird reactions only he seemed to have, as if in response to what I was thinking rather than what I was saying or doing, it was just plainly obvious. I rose an eyebrow and a new expression crossed his face. Perhaps if he was human he would have blushed. As if to change the subject, he met my eye. "Y/n, there's more you need to know. Think you've got room for another information dump?"

I swallowed. The expressions of the Cullens was grim. Regretful. They wouldn't have dragged me into this hell scape if they didn't have to. I appreciated Edward's sentiment, but I was much too used to not having a choice to let it fool me. "Lay it on me."

I would never regret four strung together words more in my life.

"It's about Sam's gang," Alice said gently. My face went slack.

As if to confirm my fears, Edward added, "More specifically, it's about Embry."

....Fuck.

-

Forever Tag: @bitchyseawitch @alexa-playafricabytoto @chipster-21 @captainxholmes @justanotherdaydreamersoul

Story Tag List: @daddyslittleone65

[serzhantkris]

Rebel Yell- 2

Summary: Let’s get something straight: he does not love you. He knows that for sure, because he doesn’t want to scream at you and he doesn’t want to get married, and that’s the only things he knows for sure about people who are in love. And he was doomed to kiss with his fists and scream and be angry and blame everyone but himself for the rest of his life. So, no. Billy did not love you. Billy Hargrove x Hopper!Reader

Word Count: 2306

Masterlist    Part 1

It’s the pencil sharpener that does it.

The steady grinding of the lead echoes in the otherwise quiet library. It’s all you hear as you try to bullshit your way through an essay, staring at the top of the page where you’ve scrawled your name and not much else.

Steve taps his eraser against his binder, exchanging a glance with you over the table. Nancy was still churning the crank on the sharpener, an unfocused look in her eye. Steve pushed his chair back, leaving the pencil between the pages. He put his hand on Nancy’s shoulder, startling her, and you followed their gaze to where Nancy had been staring.

A girl with curly red hair. It didn’t take much to understand what she’d been thinking. Steve gently took Nancy by the elbow, guiding her away from the table and toward one of the private study rooms. Taking the hint, you dug in one of the pockets on your backpack, ignoring gum wrappers and loose change. Pressing your lighter and a single cigarette into your palm, you left your things at the table, hurrying down the stairwell at the back of the building.

The cold sucks the air from your lungs as you swing the door open. The cubby formed by two walls and a dumpster kept out most of the wind, but did little to stifle out the oncoming winter.

The door closed behind you, banging loudly against the wall. You turned, cigarette between your lips and hand cupped around the end, moving toward the corner where you normally hid from prying eyes.

“Didn’t realize this spot was taken.”

His voice startled you, making you gasp. The cigarette fell to the ground, rolling toward the dumpster as you pressed a hand against your chest. “Jesus Christ.”

He smirked around the cigarette between his lips. “At your service,” he said. “Wasn’t tryin’ to scare ya.”

“‘S okay,” you say, tugging your sleeves over your hands. He inhales, pinching his cigarette. The smoke billows around his lips for a moment before he blows it away, holding the cigarette towards you.

“Promise I don’t have cooties,��� he says. Hesitating, you take it from him, fingers brushing his cold skin. Bringing it to your lips, you give the boy a once over, from the dirty brown boots to the earring dangling over his denim clad shoulder. 

“Billy, right?”

“You got it, sweetheart.” Billy takes back the cigarette, eyeing you right back. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

Smirking, you lean against the door. “I didn’t throw it.”

Billy’s lips part, at first surprised, until they twitch into an amused smile.

“Damn.”

You half-laugh as he passes the cigarette back your way, your name coming out as you exhale. 

Billy repeats it, the grin on his face near-feral. “Pretty girl, pretty name.”

Handing the cigarette back, you shove your hands in your pockets. “Thanks. Got it for my birthday.”

He laughs, the sound echoing off the bricks surrounding you. “You’re funny,” he says. “Funny and cute. You got brains, too?”

“I’m failing chemistry,” you answer. Billy sucks the air between his teeth.

“Really? ‘Cause it seems to me like you and I got plenty of it.”

 “Wow, you should come with your own warning label.” 

Billy’s smile never falters, his tongue jutting out to run over chapped lips. “What kind of warning label?”

“I dunno,” you say. “Maybe a big red flag on your chest.”

He flicks the cigarette, ashes drifting to his boots. “Why do you say that?”

“You’re charming. Very charming. I bet the ladies eat that shit up in- where are you from?”

Billy tilts his head, looking at you through heavy lashes. “California.”

“California,” you repeat. He takes another drag from the cigarette, then drops it on the ground, one boot smearing it across the pavement. Turning back to the door, you grasp the handle and yank it open, warm air blowing in your face. “I’ll see you around, Billy.”

“Hey,” he says, pushing off the corner. “You’re friends with, uh, Tina, right?”

“Something like that. Why?”

He shrugs, scratching the side of his nose. “Maybe I’ll see you tonight, then. At her party.”

You grin. “Yeah. Maybe.”

The music is so loud, it shakes the doors of the BMW. Even with Steve’s radio on, Motley Crue blasts from the house across the street, only suppressed by the ever swinging front door. Leaning forward, one hand on each of the front seat headrests, you stare through the dirty windshield at a party that’s exploded within the first hour.

Steve puts the car in park, takes a deep breath, and throws the door open. You exchange a look with Nancy, who fiddles absently with the black string around her neck. “You ready?”

She looks at you over her shoulder and nods, and the two of you follow Steve across the road and through the dark lawn. It smells like fresh cut grass and Absolut. People are mingling on the porch and driveway, all wearing some kind of masked face paint. 

It’s easy to lose Nancy and Steve inside. They linger at the door, one of Steve’s basketball friends stealing his attention. Nancy clings to his side like film. “Go ahead,” she says. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen later.”

It’s stuffy. Bodies are packed tighter than tuna and it smells almost as bad- if it weren’t for the red cup you managed to scoop up, it might have made you sick. But the drink tastes like cherries and Tina’s shouting your name (not the Devil’s, sorry Motley Crue) from where she’s standing at the sliding glass door. Weaving through crowds of dancing superheroes and half-dressed nurses, you follow Tina out the back door and into the yard. At least here, there’s room to breathe.

“Billy’s doing a keg-stand!” She shouts practically in your ear, gripping your sleeve to pull you closer. There’s a crowd, all gathered around on the back porch, all shouting numbers. They’re somewhere around thirty-one when you stand on your toes, spotting a familiar head of curls. He’s upside down, all right, with his feet propped on Tommy’s shoulders.

“What a tool-”

“It’s so hot, right?” Tina lets go of your shirt and finally takes a second to look at you. “Nice costume! ‘I Love Rock and Roll!’” Tina pushes someone- the girl from Flashdance, judging by her sweater- out of her way, forcing the two of you closer. “He’s going to beat Steve’s record!”

And he does. They’re shouting forty-two when he taps out, his feet hitting the ground and the crowd screaming. Beer sprays through the air, most of it down Billy’s chest; it gleams with sweat and booze and God knows what else. Because, of course, he’d found a way to not wear a shirt under that leather jacket.

“Y/N!”

Arms thrown around you are enough to make you forget about Billy and his shiny chest, and the doe eyes looking back at you force you to crack a smile. “Heather!”

Tina was lost in the crowd, her voice bleeding into the chanting of Billy’s name as Tommy pulled him into the house. “Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Y/N, you look hot!”

“Jesus, Heather, language!”

“What, do I look like Mother Theresa?”

You both laugh, and Heather tips the remaining contents of her cup down her throat. Red trickles over her cheek and she smears it with the back of her hand.

The two of you trail back into the house, scooping up more cherry-flavored stupid juice on your way to the living room. Heather dances first, her hips swaying as she drinks and twirls, pulling you along. Laughter bubbles up in your chest, that fuzzy feeling from your drinks finally starting to spread.

It’s sweaty and messy- the dancing. The music hits like thunder, jolting life into every body that sways back and forth. Heather kept her hands over her head, her hips bumping against yours as you danced. You had run into Nancy- quite literally- and Steve, as well as a dozen and a half other faces you recognized, and some you didn’t.

Heather pouted, turning her empty cup upside down, and you swayed your hips on your way to the kitchen with both solo cups. The bowl had been refilled, the red punch spilling over the sides of the clear plastic. As careful as you could muster, you filled the cups one at a time.

If it weren’t for standing still, you wouldn’t have felt the body so close behind you. A hand brushed the hair off your shoulder, fingers calloused and cold from outside, his breath hot behind your ear. “Do you wanna touch me?”

Your heart had been racing for the better part of an hour, trying to keep up with the music pumping through the house. Now, it was still.  “What?”

Wide eyed, you turned and were caught by Billy’s wolfish grin. He took a half step back, amused at getting such a response from you. “It’s my favorite Joan Jett song,” he said.

Rolling your eyes, you took a sip from one of the cups, ignoring the slight burn. This batch was stronger than the first. “Prince Charming.”

“Didn’t you hear? I’m the King now, princess.” Billy clicked his tongue, leaning on the counter. There was a bottle in his hand- an almost empty Jack Daniels that he was drinking straight from. You snort, nearly choking on your drink. Billy’s nose wrinkles when he laughs, taking a swig from the bottle.

“Sorry, Your Highness, I must have missed that memo.”

“You can make it up to me.” He lowered the now empty bottle, sliding it onto the kitchen table and knocking over several empty solo cups. Lowering your drink, you licked the cherry liquor off your lips.

“How’s that?”

“Nance, put it down-”

If Billy replied, you didn’t hear it. You swung around just in time to see the red liquid pour down the front of Nancy’s shirt. Steve tried to apologize, but Nancy was already storming toward the bathroom.

“Looks like there’s trouble in paradise.”

You turned back to Billy, who was smugly watching Steve trail after his girlfriend. He was drinking out of one of the solo cups now, no doubt snatched up while you’d been distracted by your best friend being a bit too drunk. There wasn’t even time to answer his question when Steve returned, weaving swiftly through the crowd- without Nancy. The door slammed behind him, and Billy whistled through his teeth. 

“I think your chariot just took off without you,” Billy’s eyes flicker down to you, but his amusement never wavers. “I could take you home, you know, if you want.”

“You could,” you smirk, watching a drop of sweat run down Billy’s chest. “But no thanks. I think I’d rather sleep in Tina’s bathtub than take a drunken ride on the village bicycle.”

Billy lowers his drink, lips stained red. “Did you just call my car a bicycle?’”

“Not your car, Hargrove. You.” You grab the cup from his hand, backing away towards the dancefloor where Heather has inevitably forgotten you’d even left.  “Everyone gets a ride on the village bike, California. Try Tina, though. She’s dying to take you around the block.”

Billy watches you go, still grinning despite your blatant rejection. You wink, taking a sip from your cup. Billy cups his hands around his mouth, shouting so you can hear him over the thrum of music, “You don’t have to take a ride to ring the bell, sweetheart!”

The shared grin stays, even after you turn away, disappearing into the crowd.

The sunglasses pulled down over your eyes does very little to shield your eyes from the beating sun. It’s hot, for the first day of November, and you’ve wrapped your sweater around your waist in an effort to keep from melting as you cross the parking lot. 

Doing your best to ignore the dull thud of pain behind your eyes, you glance around the lot in search of Steve’s car, expecting to find him and Nancy sitting in the front seat, as per usual. You were surprised, however, to see her sitting on the trunk of Jonathan’s car, a defeated expression on her face.

“Hey guys,” you stopped in front of them, tugging the glasses to sit on top of your head to get a better look at Nancy. “What’s going on?”

Jonathan looked uncomfortably between the two of you as Nancy tugged on her sleeves. “You remember the party last night?” Nancy frowned down at her shoes, not looking at you for an answer. “Apparently I said some really… Harsh things. To Steve.”

“You need to cut yourself some slack, okay?” Jonathan shifted toward her a bit more. “People say stupid things when they’re wasted.”

“He’s right,” you nod, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. “Heather said something like ‘fuck me with a chainsaw,’ and I’m like ninety percent sure she didn’t mean it.”

“That’s the thing,” Nancy’s eyes dart between you and Jonathan. “What if I did mean it? All this time, I’ve been trying so hard to pretend like everything’s fine, but it’s not. I feel like there’s this…”

“This weight you’ve been carrying around with you,” Jonathan finishes. “All the time. I feel it, too.”

The wind drags fallen leaves over the pavement, skittering them over your boots. Nancy’s hair draws across her face, sticking to her lip gloss. Jonathan looks up at the sky, like he’s watching for rain. 

“It’s different for you,” Nancy says, looking at you with the same crestfallen expression she had looked at Mr. and Mrs. Holland with. “Will came home.”

A distant memory smells like cheap beer and chlorine. You shiver, despite the sun blaring down on you.

“Maybe things just can’t go back to the way they were.”

Taglist Open

@william-hargroves​ @killer-queen-xo​ @sallyp-53​ @cloverrover​ @scud994​ @nighttwingg​ @yaidothat​ @abiwebb12​ @camillewester​

[justwritethatdown]

Ahm. .39 please? Thanks!*

39. “Please come home, I miss you”

First of all thank you so much for sending me this, it was my first prompt ever! I really hope you like it, it came out way longer than I expected 

WARNING: this was written listening to ‘Lover’on shuffle, so read it at your risk

Mostly based on Taylor Swift’s ‘False God’ but honestly it’s inspired by Taylor swift in general 

Words count: 4809

Rating: I’d say a light M, there’s no smut but sex is mentioned and implied many times, also there’s a bit of cursing…

We still worship this love

Beca was on her first (of many, hopefully) Europe tutor. After signing with DJ Khaled two years before, her career in pop music took a leap and she had published two albums already, the first one took her around the US for a sold out tour that set the ground for her second one to be a worldwide success, which lead her to Paris, Nice, Rome, Milan, Berlin, Dublin and currently London. She had still two cities in the UK before moving to Holland, Spain and finally head back home, home where her girlfriend was waiting for her.

Since they got together Beca and Chloe had spent more time apart than in the other’s presence; the two best friends had very recently found the words and the courage to talk about what their feelings for each other really were and Beca had to leave for her tour almost immediately after that.

-

Beca didn’t really think about the consequences when she wrote a painful song about pinning / unrequited love, way too detailed for Chloe or any of their aca-friends to have any doubts on who the person she wrote it for was, and the release of said song as the first single of her newest album lead to their group chat blowing up for a day straight and a sobbing redhead showing up to the front door of Beca’s apartment in the West Village. Beca feared the worst at the sight of her friend that upset about her feelings, but she soon found out that those feelings were the same ones Chloe had bottled up for as long as the brunette did. 

They spent the night together, kissing and exploring each other’s bodies, learning how to please one another, discovering how it felt to be with a woman and how it felt to be with someone they both had spent years fantasizing about. In the morning, when Beca woke up curled up to Chloe’s naked back and realized it wasn’t just another one of her dreams, she felt an happiness she’d never felt before, it was like she’d been asleep for this whole time and she was just now seeing the daylight.

She felt the redhead stretch in her arms and turn to face her with a soft, calm smile “good morning” she whispered before gently kissing her “I love you" answered Beca after their lips parted, which caused Chloe to kiss her again, more firmly. It wasn’t the first time any of them phrased her feelings like that, they shared many ‘I love you’s during the night, but it still sounded new to them and made both of their hearts burst out of happiness. When their kiss came to an end Beca pushed back a little to be able to look at Chloe, the golden morning light illuminating her face and body made the petite girl think she didn’t want to see anything else for the rest of her life. Just Chloe.

The group chat was still blowing up, ignored from the both of them until then. “Oh my God, when are they going to calm down?” groaned Beca and Chloe giggled shifting under the sheets to reach for Beca’s phone on the nightstand before going back to snuggle into the brunette, she made sure to cover every ‘indecent’ part of their bodies before snapping a selfie of them and sending it to the Bellas chat “DUDE!” gasped the brunette grabbing her phone but it was too late, the photo was delivered and their friends were already starting to completely lose their minds about it. “Why did you do this?” she whined staring at her screen filling with celebrative messages and a ‘FUCKING FINALLY! Pun intended 😏😏 ✂️✂️✂️✂️’ by Stacey that made Beca’s mouth fall open and go incredibly dry, while she was blushing in horror and embarrassment. “To answer to all their questions at once” explained Chloe taking the buzzing device from Beca’s hands and abandoning it somewhere on the bed before starting kissing along the brunette’s neck making her inhale sharply “yeah, o-okay but… we better put this away" she observed escaping from the redhead’s arms and putting her phone back on the nightstand “…unless you want to send them a video too" she joked with a fake annoyed voice that made Chloe giggle and move to straddle the brunette “Nope. This is just for us" she purred pushing her back on her back, looking at her with the sweetest sexy expression Beca had ever seen. She’d never wrapped her mind around the fact that Chloe could be so incredibly hot and adorable at the same time, it took her breath away.

“I have to take off next week” sighed Beca sadly; they were still laying on her bed on top of each other, Beca’s right ear near Chloe’s navel while the fingertips of her left hand traced random paths on her abdomen “I know…” huffed Chloe, gently stroking dark locks of hair.  

Suddenly Beca sat up straight startling the other girl a little “we can do this, right?” she asked panicking “hey…” whispered Chloe sitting up and cupping Beca’s cheek “…I’ve waited too long for this to let it go now, we’ll make things work" she assured her “I want to be with you and a couple of weeks apart won’t stop me" she added “it’s almost a month Chlo… with different time zones and-“ Chloe cut her off with a kiss. Beca was always the pessimist between them and the redhead was used to having to convince her things were gonna be alright, but this time she felt like her life depended on that. “Listen to me, do you trust me?” she asked “always” answered Beca without losing a beat “then would you close your eyes and just jump in this with me? I know it’s gonna work, I feel it" she begged her touching her own chest “can you do it for me?” she added swallowing, it was barely whispered, so quietly that Beca wouldn’t have heard it if Chloe wasn’t basically sitting on her lap. The brunette delicately wrapped her fingers around her wrist, gently tugging at it and lacing their fingers together “I would die for you" she assured looking into the watery blue eyes in front of her with such a seriousness that let Chloe knew she really meant that, it made her chest rise and a hint of a smile appeared on her face “please don’t ever do that" she breathed out resting her forehead on Beca’s.

-

“We were crazy to think Crazy to think that this could work Remember how I said I’d die for you? We were stupid to jump In the ocean separating us Remember how I’d lie to you?”

Things went downhill pretty quickly when Beca left. The two girls were just in the honeymoon phase of their relationship and only the fact of not being able to be all over each other the whole time was enough to drive them crazy. To worsen the situation Chloe had her finals at vet school and Beca had those goddamn paparazzi following her everywhere.

The petite girl was always very closed up and kept her personal life super private, she never thought about officially coming out because it was nobody’s business and she couldn’t see why that mattered. She told her friends she was bisexual a few years ago and was pretty sure her father always knew. None of them made so much of a deal about it, as it should be, but the most obsessed fans were speculating on her sexuality and constantly talking about the fact that choosing George Michael’s ‘Freedom! ’90’ as a debut song was a pretty clear statement and her not mentioning a man in the single nor in the whole album just increased their theory about her being gay. Some of them even guessed the song was about her former college friend and co-captain Chloe Beale, stating that they always had good chemistry during the Bellas’ performances, but they were wondering why she wasn’t on tour with her (like if she had nothing else to do with her life). So yeah, everyone was up in her business and she hated it. They were constantly taking pictures of her making up stories about her and Theo or her and some member of her security team or her and some random people she didn’t even know.

Beca and Chloe were constantly fighting about nothing; their conversations usually started with the right foot, but as soon as one of them said something that wasn’t exactly what the other wanted to hear things escalated quickly.

“are you still or already awake? These time zones are messing with my brain. Anyway I just got to the hotel room after the concert, I really wish you were here with me right now" lamented Beca through the phone “how’s the study going?” “ugh it’s so boring, please come home, I miss you” whined Chloe in response “baby…” sighed Beca heavily “you know I can’t do that, there’s a contract and… and even if there wasn’t one, there’s people who’s been waiting to see me for months, they look forward to this! I can’t let them down like t-“ “you mean you don’t want to” interrupted her Chloe. Beca wasn’t that keen on the idea of having screaming people who worshipped her and would do anything to see her, but she felt the sense of responsibility that came from all of that and she didn’t want to disappoint anyone. After a pause Beca cleared her throat and replied “no… no I don’t want to, that would be rude and unprofessional.” “of course you don’t” stated the redhead “why should you? You’re living your best life, sorry for being so boring that I have to study to be a vet and can’t be your groupie” “excuse me? My what now!? Where did that come from?” exclaimed Beca outraged.  

“And you can’t talk to me when I’m like this Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you You’re the West Village You still do it for me, babe They all warned us about times like this They say the road gets hard and you get lost When you’re led by blind faith Blind faith”

After not getting a response she scoffed “you know what Chloe? I can’t talk to you when you’re like this. Call Amy or Flo… see whoever’s in New York and go get some fresh air because these fucking finals are driving you insane" “yeah sure, blame it on my exams, on the fact that I’m stressed out, say what you want. The truth is that our lives are different, you should just break up with me… I’m just a burden for you, you should be out there enjoying your celebrity life" Beca knew Chloe wasn’t serious about that, that she was just trying to provoke her for some reason, to scare her maybe, and in all honesty she succeeded. Only the thought of not being with Chloe, to lose her, knocked all the air out of Beca’s lungs ‘Chlo, you know you’re everything to me, don’t say things like that please’ was what she wanted to say, but instead what came out of her mouth was “bullshit! Stop throwing your fucking insecurities at me Beale, it’s not my fault if you think that of yourself” and then hung up.

She knew she screwed up, if Chloe was insecure about their relationship her job was to let her know how solid it was, how deep her feelings for her were, not to yell at her like that, but Beca was like a wild animal (a rather small one, like a raccoon or one of those flying squirrels) and as such she tended to bite when bothered. Fighting with Chloe was the absolute worst, no matter who ‘won’ the fight, she always ended up wounded or at least bruised, it pained her to hurt Chloe just as much as it did when Chloe hurt her. She knew it was the situation they were fighting, that they didn’t really mean any of the things they said during their fights, but it hurt all the same.

Aubrey warned them, she flown all the way to New York, sat them down one evening before Beca left and told them it would have been hell, that they would have been frustrated most of the time, that Beca would have hated the tour and Chloe wouldn’t have passed her exams as brilliantly as she could have. But they (Beca actually) fought her about it, explaining to her how what they had was stronger and different and that they would have been okay, that she knew that. Chloe’s heart felt so full seeing her girlfriend, who was so pessimistic about it only a couple of days before, so sure about them; just because Chloe promised her that morning they spent in her bed. And she believed her, she believed her like people believed in God, with no proof, just blind faith.

“I’m not saying that I have doubts about your feelings for each other, I saw this grow before my own eyes, I’d be a fool to doubt that. I’m just saying that this is the worst way to start a relationship. You should wait until the tour is over and you’re both in the same city again" stated the tall blonde standing in front of them in a power pose with her hands on her hips “Aubrey, I feel like I’ve been waiting for my whole life. I can’t wait anymore.” At that confession Beca made looking into Chloe’s eyes Aubrey let her arms fell on her sides with a sigh “okay. But don’t say I didn’t warn you"

“But we might just get away with it Religion’s in your lips Even if it’s a false god We’d still worship We might just get away with it The altar is my hips Even if it’s a false god We’d still worship this love We’d still worship this love We’d still worship this love”

The night after the fight Beca was a wreck and her concert wasn’t as good as the others. When Chloe read about it on the online gossip magazines she felt terrible. She hated it when Beca was upset and knowing the reason was her, destroyed her. She wanted to support Beca and celebrate her and be there for her, not bring her down and less than anything she wanted to set her free like she told her the other night. When she knew Beca had arrived in Manchester she sent her a text

Hey babe, give me a call when you’re settled? Promise I won’t pick up another fight. Love you xx (♡C)

Love you too (-> ♡C)

Was all Beca replied, she was tired from the sleepless night and still grumpy from the fight but she appreciated the message and didn’t want to make things worse by ignoring it or replying something stupid. Chloe took her reply as a win, at least the brunette still felt like letting her know she loved her.

Chloe let out an heavy breath running her fingers through red locks, she couldn’t wait to tell Beca how sorry she was and how much she loved her. The sudden buzzing of her phone made her jump and then smile “hey b-“ “I was an idiot” Beca’s voice through the phone interrupted her and she raised her eyebrows in surprise “I don’t know why I always do this” continued the brunette “maybe it’s some sort of self destructive behaviour or maybe the trauma from my parents’ divorce” she scoffed “but anyway… I tend to break the things that I love, but I won’t do that to us. I-I don’t wanna hurt you, like… ever! It’s the most painful thing for me to do. And I don’t want to lose what we have” she stopped to take a breath and Chloe took the opportunity to jump in “Becs that’s… that wasn’t your fault, I’m the one who should apologise for being an idiot and saying stupid things” “Chloe… you and me, that’s my whole world. That’s what I should have told you instead of snapping at you okay? I should have told you that I count the days and the miles that separate me from you and even if this life is crazy and exciting, I don’t want it if I can’t share it with you" “Beca…”  “and I am so proud of you for graduating at vet school baby, don’t ever think I’m not, okay?” she added with a soft voice “Beca I love you so, so much. I don’t… I don’t know what to say y-your speech was…” sobbed the redhead “you don’t have to say anything I just needed to make sure you knew exactly how I feel" “I do. I know how you feel because it’s exactly how I feel Beca, I-I love you more than anything in the world and I just want to make you happy” Chloe wasn’t crying anymore but she still struggled to keep her words even “you do, more than anything” answered Beca with a smile.

They talked for hours until Beca had to leave to get the last things ready before the sound check “have fun baby, I love you" “oh I will, Amy is coming to see me, she asked me three VIP passes and I’m not sure what to expect from her… oh by the way she said she’s streaming the whole thing live on her Instagram… so you can try to watch some of it maybe? Though I know it’s a crazy time for you so if you’d rather sleep is okay, don’t worry" “I wouldn’t miss it for the world” said Chloe before hanging up.

“Hi guys, thank you all for coming! Uhm… I know most of you have the setlist for this and I promise you, I’ll sing all those songs, but tonight I wanted to open with a song for my girlfriend” at that the fans went crazy, some of them screamed so hard that Beca feared for their vocal chords. When the crowd calmed down a rearranged version of ‘The Only Exception’ by Paramore (that Beca had mixed in half an hour before the concert) started playing.  

After the concert Beca found a lot of texts from her friends who had apparently been watching Amy’s live:

BECA THAT WAS ACA-AWESOME OMG SO ROMANTIC!!! 💕💕💕😻 (Legacy)

I love you. You’re worth the risk too baby ♡ call me when you can, I’ll be awake (♡C)

I am proud of you Mitchell! And for the first time, I’m glad I was wrong ;) (Posen)

OMG Beca did you just came out to the world like this!?!? You’re such a rockstar!  (Jesse)

YO GIRL, the concert was amazing, as usual 💥💥💥 (CR)

Someone is whippeddddd 😜😜😜😜 proud of you, babe 💋 (Stace)

Love wins!! 🌈🌈🌈🦄🦄🦄🌈🌈🌈 (Jessica?Ashley??)

Wow Beca, amazing concert! Didn’t expect that first part 😍 (Flo)

Love wins!! 🌈🌈🌈🦄🦄🦄🌈🌈🌈 (Ashley?Jessica??)

Hey I saw the live, it was great!! (Benji)

👏🏼👏🏼 💪 (Lilly)

She only quickly replied to Jesse and Stacey before calling Chloe immediately

Wow dude, I was actually gonna call you tomorrow about that… I mean, I didn’t want to erase our story or anything… that song was a bit extreme… (-> Jesse)

Shut up bitch! (-> Stace)

“Hey baby, you should be sleeping” “how am I supposed to sleep after that!?” asked Chloe, her voice was bubbly and Beca could hear how wide her smile was, it made her smile too. To make Chloe happy was what she was in this World for, she was sure about it “that was the most romantic thing anyone ever did for me! I don’t know what I did to deserve you, honestly” “must have been something bad…” joked the pop star “so you’re not mad, right?” she checked even though the answer was pretty obvious “mad? Beca, the only mad I am is mad for you" “cheesy” laughed Beca “said the girl who just dedicated a love song to me during her own concert” scoffed Chloe “look babe, I gotta go, Amy decided we have to go get drunk to celebrate… in the end the one pass was for her date, he’s not that weird this time by the way, and the third one was for a dude she paid to hold her phone the whole time so she could enjoy the concert, can you believe that?” asked Beca laughing again “…I mean yeah, that’s totes something she would do" replied Chloe giggling “go have fun baby, I love you" “love you too, goodnight”

All cool. I know what we had and I know she’s something else, she always has been. I’m happy for you (Jesse)

🤐 (Stace)

Thank you Jesse (-> Jesse)

-

After that night to her concerts started to appear pride flags and Beca had to admit it felt nice, but what really got to her was one girl in Spain that stopped her on the ‘Ramblas’ while she was visiting Barcelona “hi you’re Beca Mitchell, right? I don’t wanna bother you I just wanted to thank you for what you did in Manchester. I am a lesbian and to know that my favourite female singer has a girlfriend makes me so happy, you have no idea how much this means to me. You have given me the courage to come out to my best friend and to my brother” Her eyes were watery as she spoke and Beca just looked at her speechless “representation matters, and I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart” she concluded and Beca, for the first time in her life, felt the need to hug someone who wasn’t Chloe, maybe it was because the girl must have been thirteen years old or maybe because she was so considerated to respect her space and not asking for a hug or a photo, but she decided that it was almost certainly because of what she said, because she’d never thought about being a role model or someone that made others feel like they belong, that there is nothing wrong with them “uhm, you want a hug?” she asked screwing up her face cause she knew how awkward she sounded “oh ohmygod really?” answered the girl over the moon “c’m here" she said hugging her.

-

Beca couldn’t wait to be back home, before leaving she had given Chloe the keys of her apartment and she knew she would have founded her there waiting for her. What Beca didn’t know was that Chloe had organized a little ‘welcome back’ party with all the Bellas, only Amy, Flo and Stacey could make it but it was still something.

The pop star didn’t see that coming and she had to admit it was a nice surprise to have a small reunion with some of her best friends after being far from home for so long, but despite their presence in her apartment and the scare they gave her screaming “surprise” when she opened the door, the first thing she did was to go hug Chloe, who met her halfway. The two girls hugged for a long time whispering how much they missed each other and how happy they were to be in the same room again. After a while Beca pulled back to look at her girlfriend, still holding her waist while Chloe had her arms wrapped around the brunette’s neck. They were looking at each other with so much love and happiness in their eyes that the room was frozen, their friends were standing there looking at them with proud expressions, and then  there was Amy who was taking pictures of them, the two girls didn’t notice any of it, they were too busy staring at each other’s lips licking or biting their owns, until Chloe made the smallest move towards Beca, knowing that the girl didn’t like pda she was being very careful to any sign that the brunette made to understand if she was okay with kissing in front of their friends, even if she really wanted to. While Chloe was worrying about that Beca crashed their lips together and the two girls shared a passionate kiss that ended only because  the ‘woop’s and wolf whistles coming from Amy and Stacey were starting to piss Beca off.

Only when she was satisfied with how she greeted Chloe, Beca went to say hi to her other ‘guests’. They spent the evening drinking and chatting, but even if they were socializing with their friends Beca and Chloe were never far for too long, they would lean over the other to pour a drink or brushed their hands on the other’s back passing her while moving around the living room or less subtlety going to sit on each other laps every time one of them was chatting on the couch. At dinner time they decided to order Chinese food and eat it sitting in circle on the living room floor like they used to do in Barden (even if Beca’s dining table was more than big enough for all of them). This time Chloe was sitting between Beca’s opened legs and the brunette was leaning towards not to be cut out of the conversation. It wasn’t the best position to eat, but the two girls needed to be as close as possible. After she finished eating Beca wrapped her arms around Chloe and leaned her forehead on the taller girl’s shoulder yawning “girls, I think this is our clue” stated Flo starting to collect the food boxes off the pavement “oh no leave it, I can take care of that" said Chloe starting to move “nonsense” stopped her Stacey helping Flo “I’m not throwing you out guys, I’m just-“ another yawn cut her off “just very tired” she added rubbing her eyes “don’t worry shawshank” said Amy suspiciously gently “we know you can’t wait to have us out of the way” she added with a wink and a way exaggerated bite of her lip that made Chloe laugh “I think I’m gonna take her to bed tonight, but there will be no funny business involved this time" she said still laughing and Beca just hummed, too tired to form words.

As soon as the girls left, Beca and Chloe were laying in bed curled up together. “I’m sorry there’s no funny business… I really want it to be but I am literally dying” apologised Beca snuggling closer to the warm body beside her “hey, it’s totes fine. I’m happy to just be able to hold you right now, I don’t need anything more than this" assured her Chloe before kissing her forehead.

The next morning Beca woke up much earlier than Chloe, due to the jetlag and decided to wake her beautiful girlfriend up by going down on her. Chloe appreciated it so much that they stayed in bed until noon having the best sex Beca ever had. They were about to get up when both of their phones buzzed, it was the group chat. Amy had sent a bunch of photos of them hugging and kissing writing ‘BOOM’ under the last one

Oh come on Amyyyy! Now I have to worry about paparazzi even in my home? WTF ( -> Bellas💕)

Beca was nervous. They had just finished lunch and she decided it was a good time to ask Chloe to move in with her. She tried to dry her sweaty palms on her jeans before hugging her from behind while she was washing the dishes “stop this" she told her placing a soft kiss under her left ear “I’m gonna finish it later, you don’t have to do it all" she added letting the tip of her nose brush on the shell of that same ear “okay" shivered Chloe drying her hands before turning to hug her and kiss her slowly “so, I was thinking…” started Beca biting her lip nervously “I know this might sound crazy but… why don’t you move in with me? You’ve been basically living here already and I know you love this place! Maybe this is soon but… we didn’t really follow the rules since the beginning so… why start now?” “yes" “I mean we’ve lived together already and it only made me fall harder for you if anything, I know all your habits and I learned to live with them and you did the same with mine and-“ “Beca. I said yes” repeated Chloe with a wide smile “yes?” echoed Beca excited “yes” whispered again the redhead.

They were lying on the couch and Beca was staring at one of the pics Amy sent them, the one that captured the moment right before their kiss, it was the quintessence of happiness “can I post this on my Instagram?” she asked turning the screen to let Chloe see it “I would love that" answered the redhead with a wide smile “is this about what that girl told you in Spain?” “Mhm” nodded the brunette “and this would make those stupid paparazzi stories stop” she added and then stopped to think “but it would put YOU on their radar… are you sure? Do you really want to live in this fucking fishbowl with me?” “baby, I want to live with you I don’t care about the paparazzi” she assured her and Beca kissed her before posting the photo with the caption ‘finally back into her arms 😍’.

[arecomicsevengood]

HOW MANY EYES DO YOU NEED TO SEE?

A few months ago, I was officially diagnosed with glaucoma. This was a good thing, inasmuch as I waiting for a diagnosis. A few months before I had seen the neuro-opthalmologist who gave this diagnosis, and prescribed eyedrops to begin a course of treatment, I had seen an opthalmologist who noted the high amounts of pressure in my eye, but gave me a referral to see another doctor instead, because my youth made glaucoma seem unlikely, and he wanted to check this pressure was not caused perhaps by a brain tumor inside my skull pressing against the back of my eyes.

You probably are a little unclear on what glaucoma is. It is most known, I believe, for being a condition that smoking weed helps. Before medical marijuana became legal and able to be prescribed for anxiety and depression and all the psychological conditions people had been using it to self-medicate for for years, glaucoma was a cited example of a condition whose effects were mitigated by smoking. When I explain that I have it to friends now, there usually comes a point at the end of the conversation where they bring it up. For what it’s worth, I hate smoking weed. I feel debilitated by it to do anything I enjoy, like write, or follow a conversation,  or accomplish tasks without being distracted. Most people who smoke a lot of weed will either tell me that the effects I have a problem with go away after steady smoking, and that I probably haven’t found the right strain yet. The act of getting to this point seems an unpleasant one, filled with physiological incapability. Of course, CBD is now basically sold as a cure-all that takes care of any bad feeling one might have, but it is apparently the effects of THC that take care of glaucoma.

Glaucoma is an increase of eye pressure. As you are aware, the eye is a soft orb of mucus membranes, and some duct or another regulates the release of a fluid into them, to keep that balloon-like sac inflated, essentially. I’m unclear on the exact details. In glacoma, the eye gets too filled up. Maybe this makes the eye bulge out a little, it does seem like what I’m describing would lead to a situation where the eye eventually explodes. But before that, the pressure of the eye presses on the optic nerve. When I had this explained to me, by an optometrist, who told me I was pre-glaucoma and I should go to an opthalmologist to get my eyes looked at. I thought I would experience this as physical pain. After I forgot about the appointment I had made, I anticipated I would experience pain and that was when I would need to go to a doctor. It turns out this is wrong, because the optic nerve isn’t really set up to register feeling, it’s set up to see things. So as the pressure wore on my optic nerve, moreso in my left eye than my right, my vision deteriorated. However, I didn’t notice, because I have two eyes, and together they form a composite image, and my right eye compensated. I would experience weird effects of light, sort of like there was a smudge on my glasses lens, and occasionally it would seem like what I was looking what had a crack in it and was bleeding light, but I didn’t really know how bad it was.

It was when I finally saw an opthalmologist, and in the checking to ensure my glasses’ prescription was correct, and he kept on switching out lenses and asking me if my vision was better or worse with each new one, I found I could not register any letters on the vision chart at all, that the whole field existed within a blank spot of blurred white light, that I realized how bad things had gotten. It was a scary day, certainly made worse by the physician’s suggestion I might have a brain tumor, and his general displeasure and frustration at the fact that I have an instinctual aversion to people approaching my eye to touch it, poke it, and administer eye drops. I am convinced this is a normal thing, but doctors often have God complexes, and apparently I was such a difficult patient that he refused to see me again afterwards. That’s neither here nor there in the story I want to tell, but I do hope he gets hit by a bus and killed.

Anyway, I have now seen a doctor that prescribed eye drops, and then I saw another doctor who prescribed still more eye drops, and I am broke enough to qualify for Medicaid so I haven’t paid for any of these things, so all of that is good, and while I’m concerned about how coronavirus will effect the ability of these prescriptions to get into the country it’s fine thus far. The doctor has made clear that all of these things, however, are really just to make sure my vision doesn’t become worse, that I don’t become totally blind, as far as they’re concerned, the damage done to the optic nerve is irreversible, and won’t be returning to where it was before, which was pretty bad, but at least able to be corrected by strong prescription corrective lenses.

Not covered by Medicaid are the lion’s mane mushrooms I have elected to take. Lion’s Mane, supposedly, stimulates nerve tissue growth. People take them for depression and “brain fog,” and so I had been toying with the idea of investigating them anyway, before I started to think that maybe they would help repair my optic nerve as well. I am well-aware that a lot of people consider any herbal remedies to be snake oil peddled by the likes of Alex Jones and Gwyneth Paltrow, but a bunch of my friends are hippies and herbalists, and the people so assuredly righteous in their politics often have deeply reactionary cultural opinions they are not interested in examining, lacking even the self-awareness to get offline and take deep breaths to make themselves feel better. I don’t consider Lion’s Mane a placebo in any way, but I also register the necessity of feeling hope and the grounding nature of a ritual such that I will probably continue to take it for a while even if there are not immediately noticeable effects.

I am interested in perception, cognition, and how brain chemistry dictates who we are. We are taught as children about the lobes of the brain, how the left brain is more analytical, and the right brain more emotional and intuitive. Ideally, we have easy connection between these two lobes, and when we see something, we are both able to tell what it is and feel a certain way about it. Writing about comics, I try to be as intuitive as I can, to pick up on things that are perhaps unconsciously present, to write about something other than the exact nature of the plot or how well-rendered a background is. It occurs to me that, since the left eye is processed by the right brain, I might be feeling the things I see less than I should. This is all theoretical. It does feel like it’s been ages since I’ve seen a movie that I felt particularly moved by, though it is easy to chalk this up to the cynicism of age. I am still capable of seeing the movie, the full page, still able to read and put the thing together in my brain; and at the same time, I’m placing everything into the larger context of my life, the same way everyone does. Even my favorite film of 2019, Uncut Gems, I didn’t find as nerve-racking as other people apparently did. Maybe that’s because I went in aware of a good deal of hype and other people were more surprised by it? There is really no way to know. The brain makes a composite image consisting not just of the two eyes, but everything else it’s taking in. I can perhaps attribute a certain hesitancy in my own writing to the lack of synchronized lobes taking in what they see, that rereading my own brain no longer gives me the weird floating feeling I used to get from it. I check that it makes sense and still feel like I am fighting uphill, and remain doubtful of everyone else’s writing. “”Why are you talking like this?” I ask of most sentences. Again, I would maybe be asking this anyway, most people are bad at writing, and it doesn’t take some sort of newfound autistic attentiveness to notice that.

All this connects to comics, and to the fact that I write about them. This sense that I am somehow impaired in my ability to read them, I don’t think anyone else would think if I didn’t bring it up, but I feel like I would be lying by omission not to mention. I disclose it in the name of honesty, even as I am on a certain level only articulating this anxiety to avoid the morbidity of talking about how my thoughts about perception, cognition, and the construction of the self apply to death, in this time of pandemic, when all of my or your or someone one or both of us love could have their entire brain go blank and no amount of adaptogens could reanimate it. (The past few days, I’ve also been drinking chaga and echinacea teas for the sake of my immune system.) And while I don’t think this issue with my eyes applies to written text as much as it does all the other forms the visual world can be arranged to convey information, if I am taking in the news in a less emotional way than other people, that is probably for the best.

[negasonicimagines]

blending in - {ellie phimister x reader}

You, El, and Wade hadn’t been on the mission for long before you got to your destination.

The neon, pulsating lights were glowing in the dim streetlight across from the club where you stood; in normal street clothes, your typical black jeans and longer blue sweater, and El, in her leather jacket adorned with pins of every possible cause.

God, those pins were cute. But that was a statement for another time.

“So, I’m gonna head in, do my work the way I do best. Quick penetration, fast withdrawal,” says Wade, Deadpool suit on and katanas slung across his back (as usual).

“Gross,” Ellie mutters under her breath, leaning back against the building across the street as you scoffed and grinned, shoving your phone back into your pocket.

“Think he can come up with something better?” you say, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning back on the wall beside Ellie.

“Yeah, just give him a chance,” El says, laughing and frowning at the red-suited man. “Maybe get in there and save us the dramatics, Jeff Dunham.”

“You got it, Angst Monster. Try not to corrupt Fashion Week Felon while I’m doing your work for you,” he says, tapping her lightly on the nose and walking away as you blushed and looked down at your ring-clad hands.

“He’s such a douche,” Ellie says as she turns back to you, smiling and tucking her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. “Lucky I have good company.”

You felt your blush come back. You and Ellie knew each other decently well; Colossus and her had found you fucking up some muggers in an alley behind your apartment, and when your cuts healed instantly, they knew that you belonged at Xavier’s.

Your parents were out of the picture, so when you were offered a warm bed, classes, and a place to stay, you didn’t really complain. You moved into the mansion close to instantly and you and Ellie caught like a house on fire; you had the same sense of humor, dislike for Wade’s slapstick jokes, and, ironically, were already mutuals on Twitter.

It wasn’t long before you started feeling things for Ellie; she was smart, beyond gorgeous, and being around her made your chest feel like your heart was dropping out of your ass. Hangouts were spent with you constantly putting your feelings out of your mind, doing little favors for Ellie, and butterflies anytime your hands accidentally grazed. But, as you kept reminding yourself, although she’s into girls, that doesn’t mean she’s into you. 

“Hello?” Ellie repeats, snapping her fingers in front of your face. “Anyone home?”

“Sorry, sorry,” you breathed, silently admonishing yourself for getting lost in thoughts of your friend. Well, arguably, best friends. You were best friends by each other’s standards. A light blush overtook your face again, and you forced it down with a stone-faced expression. “Just wishing I could be home right about now.”

“Tell me about it!” Ellie half-yelled, causing you to giggle back and, for a second, lose your badly-kept composure. “We could be halfway done with those fucking Domino’s brownie cake things by now-“

“And finishing the Dr. Phil binge, yes, I know, don’t remind me,” you remarked grouchily, lightly tapping her on the shoulder with her fist. “Instead we’re here, waiting for the miraculous case of Benjamin Button’s humor to give us the go-ahead.”

Ellie cracked a smirk then, leaning back and looking at you under the dim glow of the streetlights.

God, she was fucked.

She’d been practically in love with you since the day you’d met, when you’d fought off a catcalled-turned burglar and throat-punched him so quickly that she didn’t even have time to start her powers up; she still remembers the second you’d seen her, knowing what she and the metal giant were there for and how they’d been tracking you for weeks. Your hair was falling over your forehead and your knuckles were bloody, but not for long, until your eyes glowed and the cuts healed and the brilliant smirk of confidence that crossed your features made her weak in the knees.

From then on, it was stolen glances during your chemistry class (ironic, she knows), shared pizzas and dinners on your respective beds while watching shows that made you laugh until you had tears in your eyes, and the occasional hand hold when both of you wanted to leave a party but didn’t know exactly how to say it. She knew that you weren’t straight, that was a given by the amount of things you retweeted, but she didn’t want to make anything weird. Ellie Phimister didn’t do weird.  But the way the light hit you just right in the alleyway, combined with the sweater that you didn’t know she loved made her want to risk it all.

That is, until-

“Hey! A little help, The L-Words!” came Wade’s screech from the earpiece and you were both jolted out of your thoughts and into action. Ellie shoulders started smoking as you walked with confidence across the street and into the club, pushing past sweaty clubgoers and dodging easily spilled drinks. Ellie reached across the threshold and intertwined her fingers with yours to keep each other together, and you kept moving.

You both knew there were four guys in the back, private rooms; guys that were part of a group that had tried various times to break into Xavier’s and wreak havoc, and you weren’t planning on having your rent-free haven blown apart by assholes.

The second the two of you started to move to the hallway leading the rooms, lined by drunken couples devouring each others’ faces, Wade’s voice broke through again.

“Hang on!” he yelled, and you could picture the rapid hand movements that usually came with Wade’s abrupt speeches. “They know you’re coming and they’re getting ready to go out. You have to blend in and throw them off while I do some back door recon. Two minutes. Don’t be an asshole and ruin this for me!”

“This isn’t just about you, asshole-“ Ellie barked into the comm’s receiver, but it blinked out before she could keep going. “Fuck.”

You both heard shuffling coming from the end of the hallway, knowing that you were about to be descended upon, and, against all odds, you two maybe kinda sorta were gonna go with Wade’s plan. The thing is that you had limited time.

“Shit,” you mumbled, looking at Ellie and waiting for her to make the first move, but she looked just as panicked as you; without a second thought, your brain kicked into overdrive, and you grabbed a discarded jacket on the floor and wrapped it around your shoulders. Then, you quickly moved back against the wall and looped your arms around Ellie’s neck.

“What are you doing?” she breathed, hands already forming around your waist.

“Blending in,” you said, and something clicked in her expression. The two of you both seemed to move in at the same time before your lips connected, and then the music started fading away.

Ellie’s hands slowly made their way up your back, her ring-clad pinky finger teasing the skin above your waistline. You moved in closer, tongue teasing her bottom lip to deepen the kiss, and she leaned back into you with equal force as you felt your back start to press against the wall. The two of you were entirely lost, both completely engaged in what was happening between the two of you, and oblivious to the agents and panicked clubbers that were running through the hallway and into the street.

One of Ellie’s thighs moved in between your own, and you felt your hands reach up and tangle themselves in her short, dark hair, finding their home in the longer bits of fringe at the back of her skull. She shivered at your touch, pressing more urgently against you, and the two of you continued your back-and-forth, a mess of hearts and hands and lips. Every repressed bit of attraction was coming out in full force, and there was nothing the two of you could do about it.

She started sucking your bottom lip into her mouth, and you let out a small moan at the feeling, shivering and feeling like your head was about to combust. She seemed to take that as a hint to keep going, this time nipping at your lip, and the pleasure and heat and sharp pain that came with her teeth caused you two to break apart.

“Sorry,” she breathed into your mouth, your fingers reaching to touch your lip.

“Whoa,” you spoke back, feeling the cut heal over in a second and looking back into the eyes of the girl you loved. “Ellie,” you sighed out, like her name was another word for God, and just when you were about to reconnect, Wade’s crimson form appeared over her shoulder.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Ellie, yelled, leaping back and shoving Wade so hard that steam rose from the spot where she’d pushed.

“As much as I hate to interrupt your lovefest, you both fucking MISSED the agents coming through here. I gave you a time distinction, and we missed it. They’re already gone, and we’re gonna have to go reconnect at the X-Fuck House,” Wade said, hands piled on the top of his head in exasperation.

He pushed past the two of you then, and you both looked back at each other, dissolving into giggles and starting to walk away.

Neither of you had spoken, only silently acknowledging that something major had changed in the last few minutes between you two.

On the way out of the building, Ellie reached out and lightly grabbed your arm. “Hey, Y/N,” she spoke in the moonlight, and you were more than happy to look back.

“More than friends?” she said, cut off by your leaning in and kissing the smile right off her face. Yes. Definitely more than friends.

[stayforya]

CHEMISTRY

member: kim woojin

genre: best friend’s brother au!; fluff

words: 3.6k

summary: chemistry can explain the covalent bond, so maybe it can also explain the way he attracted you.

author: hyun

your best friend yeojin always lived next door

you can’t remember the time you weren’t friends

since families lived next to each other for years, you both became closer

mainly after she started studying at your school

in her house, there was her, a younger brother and an older brother

the younger one was so cute, smiley

but the older one didn’t give you much attention when you came to their house

so you never knew stuff about him or anything

as you grew up, the age gap started to seem okay

and that’s when you started to notice him

after school, you were both in front of your house spying on him

not that you meant to spy, but he appeared so you started to

he was with a girl, maybe his girlfriend

“woojin? I bet he’ll never date anyone”, your friend rolled her eyes

not a second after she closed her mouth, woojin and the girl were kissing

“oh my God”, you were surprised

your friend closed her eyes and claimed “my eyes are burning! how can I unsee this? I’ll carry this trauma for the rest of my life!”

you laughed

“come on, don’t be dramatic”

“if you had an older brother you’d understand how traumatizing it is to see him kissing someone. I always thought woojin only studied and played sports”

“looks like he also enjoys kissing”, you teased her

“ew, y/n. I bet mom and dad don’t know they are dating”, she shrugged

not a second after, woojin’s father showed up in front of the house and greeted the girl

next day at school

yeojin told you the news

“you won’t believe! woojin’s girlfriend had dinner with us”

you felt happy but not fully happy

“yesterday?”

“yeah, and she’s quite nice”

“and how it went?”

“normal. woojin must like her”

and that’s it?

not that you cared about the details

“she seems nice”, you said while walking to the classroom

“yeah but it’s weird, I dunno. I mean, my older brother dating someone, how can a girl fall in love with that dumb boy?”

you laughed

“it’s your point of view as his younger sister who grew up fighting with him”

“meh. I don’t care, let’s go to class”

days went by

you and yeojin met almost every day to study

one day in your house, the other one in hers

you were both in hers when woojin came downstairs

you were in kitchen and he came in to get some food

“hey, y/n”, he said

your heart skipped a beat but you managed to stay cool

“hey”

“wow great mood”, his sister made fun of him

“I always say hi to her, in my defence”, he smiled, “what’s that?”

he got closer to see your books

“we’re having some trouble with chemistry”, yeojin explained

“do you want help?”

he sat in front of you, drinking some juice he found in the refrigerator

you focused in the start, but come onnnnn

he looks so good

his strong hands pointing to the images on the book

his calm voice explaining so well

he could be a chemistry teacher but who would pay attention to molecules when kim woojin is right there being the sweetest person on earth?

“ok, hold on, y/n. calm down. when did you start thinking of him like this?”, you said to yourself

“you guys get it?”, he asked

you shook your head to put away your thoughts

but he thought you were trying to say “no” in a cute way

“do you have any question, y/n?”

“hm, me? no, no, I’m fine”, you fake smiled trying to not mess up more

“you can ask, friend”, yeojin said and you looked at her with laser coming out of your eyes

“I have no question at. all.”, you said between your teeth, smiling at her

she probably didn’t understand what you were trying to communicate with your eyes for her to stop insisting

“look, I’m free on monday afternoons so you both can come to me if you need help”, woojin drank the rest of his juice

“hm, you did a good job, thanks”, yeojin said

and he messed up her hair

you knew they didn’t have a lovely siblings relationship but when they weren’t tired of each other, they did have fun together

woojin offered but you thought that asking him to help you with chemistry would be too much

you both played together once or twice when you were younger but nothing else

so, as days passed by, you just said hi when accidentally meeting him

and walked away, trying to avoid questions

until you got a C- on chemistry and that’s when you realised

studying by yourself wasn’t enough anymore

books and notebooks ready, there you went to woojin’s house

your friend wasn’t at home that monday

she sent you a message saying she wouldn’t be there but woojin would

you just knocked at the door

freaking out inside

heart almost coming out of your chest

and he opened it

as if it was the gates of heaven

“hey!”

he was still wearing the uniform, but without the jacket

“come in”

“is it too early?”

“no, it’s perfect”, woojin lead you to the table as if it was your first time there

“thanks”

“yeojin told me...”

“yeah, I got a C-”

“ah, that happens to everyone”, you usually hate this kind of speech, it doesn’t happen to everyone

but since it was him saying that, in his cool way of speaking

“how much time do we have?”

“I’m free for you, don’t worry”

he said that in such a peaceful way

your heart was starting to race and your throath was dry

free for you

“so where do we start?”, you asked, trying to focus

“maybe we should try to solve again the exam questions you got wrong”

concentrated, you could tell he was willing to help you

you never truly noticed before, but woojin always had a kind heart

he used to help his younger siblings with their homeworks when they were younger

and he also always washed his dad’s car, you could see that while watering the plants on sundays

always went with his mom to supermarket

you really needed that help

and since woojin was available, you took the chance

that’s why you really paid attention to everything he said

you both solved again the same questions

and new ones on the book

you were there for probably two hours already

“do you wanna eat something?”

“no, I’m fine”, you answered

“are you sure?”, he asked, mouth full and a naughty smile

in his right hand, the cookie he was eating; in the left one, a tray full of cookies

you couldn’t turn down the offer

you both kept studying while eating, and you were really doing better after the way he explained

much better than how teacher explained

“thank you so much for taking your time...”, you said, packing your stuff

“no problem, you can come back anytime”

heart started to race again, dang it!

you got your backpack and went to the door

“bye”

“see ya”, woojin said and waved while you walked away

a couple steps and you’d be home, but you felt him watching you

or maybe he was waiting for someone else 

but no, he wasn’t

cause he waved again when you arrived and only then closed the door

you couldn’t help but smile to yourself

“where were you?”, your mom appeared when you walked in

“I was studying at the kim’s”

“their parents told us woojin is really good with chemistry, physics...”

“yeah, he helped me and yeojin with our questions”, you threw the backpack on the sofa

and were about to go upstairs take a shower

“oh he remembered!”, your mom said and you didn’t understand what she was talking about

“hm... remembered what?”

“I told him about your C-, he said you could come over”

“you... told him?”, there was probably a huge question mark above your head

“yes, why?”

“so that’s why he was so kind to me?”

“well, woojin is actually kind to everyone, sweetie, it wasn’t because of that”, she said

“mom, you didn’t have to... seriouslyyyy”

“he’s willing to help”

“just because you asked!”

ugh, you felt so stupid 

“but why is this important?”

“just... whatever”, you ran upstairs angry with yourself

you know when you feel stupid

because someone is being so nice

and somehow you deep down think it’s because they find you enjoyable

but it’s because of something else?

that’s it

he must have taken time for you because he respects your parents and your mom asked for his help

not because he wanted to do it firstly

thinking about it made your brain burn and you got into the cold shower to cool it out

next week you had a new chemistry exam

you studied so hard

not with woojin anymore

you just weren’t in the mood to go after him again 

and he already helped, so now it was up to you 

you were so nervous

but yes, you gave your all

woojin’s voice was echoing inside your head

all his tips, the questions you solved together

well, maybe you’d get a good grade this time

after the test, you and yeojin went to an ice cream shop

“so how was the test?”, yeojin asked, mouth full of mint ice cream

“better than I thought, even though I was pretty nervous, to be honest”

“woojin will be happy to know that”

“I don’t even know my grade yet”

“hm!”, she reminded something, “he and his girlfriend broke up”

“what?”, you were honestly shocked cause you even forgot he was dating

so much going on in your head those days

“yeah, mom asked about her yesterday and he said they broke up weeks ago”

“weren’t they dating for, like, one month?”

“I think so, but turns out they were together just for prom”

“that’s unlike him”

“I overheard him talking to mom and he said they weren’t into each other, but I think she was the one that broke up, tho”, yeojin said

you shrugged

you never wanted him to broke up or anything

because you knew, despite liking him, woojin would never see you the way you saw him

what would yeojin think about the fact that you liked her older brother?

the whole “best friend’s brother” thing was great on tv shows, but not in real life

it could bring some mess

mainly when both families were so close to each other

“look, look! that boy over there!”, your friend pointed

outside the ice cream shop, he couldn’t see her pointing at him

“who’s that?”

“the boy I like”

“whaaaaat? when did you start...?”

“this week. I met him at the library... he is just SO CUTE”

“lol you fall in love easily”

“stop, that’s not true. we studied together”

“oh so that’s why you didn’t come to study with me!”, you hit her playfully 

“I thought you’d be fine studying with woojin”, she laughed

“I didn’t study with him this week, you idiot”

you treated each other like this, but it was your own way of showing affection lol

“since last week he didn’t shut up about how you’re nice”

what did she say? omg

you almost choked

“I thought we already knew each other, tho”, you tried to act cool, “plus, my mom was the one who asked him to help me. can you believe that?”

“oh yeah, I saw her talking to mom and him”

“omg seriously... my mom...”

“but you know he was willing to help you since that day, right? so when your mom asked him, he said he was already helping us with chemistry and he could do that again”

you felt stupid again

why did you care so much if your mom asked or not? what matters is that he made himself available for that

because that’s woojin

the kind hearted guy

thinking of him was unavoidable

even with days going by, even with so much in your head

in the end of the day, when you layed your head on the pillow, he was the first thought

one day you saw him while you were studying at yeojin’s

he threw a smile and raised his hand, saying hi

asking how things were going

you just answered like you always did

yes, you liked him. a lot.

for a long time, but you only had the courage to understand the feeling now

he was still your best friend’s brother, tho

and you couldn’t even imagine confessing, never in a million years

everytime this idea came in, your mind knew it was a bad one

cause he probably saw you as a little girl

the age gap wasn’t even that big...

“guess what? I have a date today”, yeojin said

“w h a t?”, you were surprised and happy at the same time, “is it the library guy?”

“yes, it is, girl”

“omg I’m so glad for you! when you get home, just call me”

“of course I will! oh, and woojin asked what was your chemistry grade”

“really? I thought he forgot it already”, you laughed

“I wish he did, but not the case. just go there today, he’ll be home the whole afternoon”

“what do you mean? it’s weird. I’ll go there just to say ‘oh hi woojin I got an A, thank you so much for your help’?”

“hmm, yeah? I don’t know, just tell him so he will stop asking me. and wait for me there so I can tell you everything of today’s date in person!”, she had an exciting smile on her face

it was nice to see your friend so excited with something

the library boy was nice, as long as he didn’t break her heart, you’d be okay with him

you came back home thinking about woojin

why did he keep asking about the chemistry test? why didn’t he ask you directly?

oh, but to be honest, you were the one avoiding him all the time 

after doing everything you had to do, and when you thought yeojin would be coming back home so you and him wouldn’t be in awkward silence for a long time

you went to the kim’s

you didn’t have to knock because the door was open

chicken delivery

woojin was paying the delivery guy when you arrived

“oh. hi”, you said

awkwardddd

“hi, y/n!”

“is yeojin home?”

“no, only my brother and I, but you can come in!”

the younger brother of kim family was really cute and he was sitting on the sofa playing games on tv

woojin was probably playing with him, but when you arrived, he led you to the kitchen and left the young one playing by himself for a moment and eating fried chicken

he put the other fried chicken boxes on the kitchen’s table and opened one of them

“do you want some?”, he asked 

“I won’t reject, it’s smelling good”

he laughed

“so, what about chemistry?”

ok, but let’s be real here

why did he look good all the time?

he was leaning on the marble desk and looking at you

it was a funny scene

you both eating fried chicken so comfortable with each other

“I got an A”

“oh!”, he was so hyped, you felt your cheeks burning, “congrats! you deserve it, you really worked hard”

“thank you for helping me”, you said

you felt his eyes on your face

“you can count on me, y/n”, he was serious now

but his eyes carried so much

his kind personality showed through the smallest acts

he came closer, but not to touch you, just to give you the ketchup

“ah, thanks”

“I didn’t know you liked fried chicken that much”, he said

“I love it, seriously”

“you’re invited to come again”

“when?”

“anytime. I’m free for you”

you looked at him

he looked back at you

and you were both staring at each other without any words being said

until yeojin appeared by the kitchen’s door

“Y/N! it was the best date ever!”, there were little hearts coming out of her eyes

you were pulled to reality again

and ran to her, to listen every little detail she was about to tell

woojin’s sweet face couldn’t get out of your head

but you needed to live this happy moment with your friend, so you just focused on her

“hey, what are you doing here by yourself?”, you heard his voice

you were sitting in front of your house, after watering all the plants, thoughts out of the world

while watching the day turning into night

“just thinking”, you answered

“can I...?”, he wanted to sit on the step with you

“of course”

he didn’t wait to start his point

“y/n, is it my impression or you’re trying to avoid me?”

if you were eating something, you would definitely choke

“me? no”

“cause, you know, we weren’t very close like you are with yeojin, but-”

“yeah, I’ve been avoiding you”, you let it come out, regretting at the exact moment

“why?”

“because I think we shouldn’t become closer, since our families are close”

he frowned

“is that because you like me?”

you froze

for how long did he know?

“what do you mean?”, pretending you don’t understand is a good option 

“if this is the reason”, you were looking at him and he was looking to the sky

then his eyes stared at you

“you don’t have to be afraid of telling me. cause I’m here for you”

his voice was low and every single syllable coming out of his lips gave you chills

you never thought you both would have this kind of conversation, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable at all

his words embraced you

“w-why are you talking like this?”

“I have feelings for you, y/n. and I know there’s so much going on and more to come, but in the midst of everything I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”

you were only listening

and it felt like a dream, like a hallucination, anything 

but not like real life

you always thought you’d be the one confessing, he would say sorry for not feeling the same and you’d move on

and then there you were, woojin expressing how he felt towards you

“maybe you’re confused, woojin. please don’t say anything you’re not completely certain of”

at this point you were scared of him playing with your feelings

it felt weird

you were overwhelmed by the fact that he liked you, but also afraid of being fooled

that kind hearted guy... the one who spent hours straight reviewing the topics for chemistry

the one who made you laugh and ate fried chicken with you

the one who treated you right

your best friend’s brother

that’s why you were feeling guilty, as if you couldn’t accept his feelings

he was not just someone you had feelings for, he was your best friend’s brother, your neighbour, friends with your family

“I’m not confused at all, y/n. I wouldn’t tell you if I wasn’t sure”

“woojin...”

he opened his right arm and you didn’t think twice before hugging him

that was crazy

how did it end up happening?

you couldn’t forget about the reality, because someone could open the door and see you two there, but you couldn’t help

inside his hug it was so warm, you’d live there if you could

you looked at him

your faces were so close 

his eyes on you, you closed yours

he was looking at your face, you could feel it

then you heard the door opening slowly

falling out from the love atmosphere, woojin held your hand and took you to the side of your house

you just sat on the grass, trying hard not to laugh

you peeked and saw the door closing again

“it’s dangerous to hug in front of my house”, you whispered

“and what about on the side of your house?”, he asked, giving you his sweet smile

“anyone can see us, omg”

“if it’s yeojin, then it’s okay”, woojin said

“what? I didn’t tell her I have feelings for you”

he seemed happy to hear you admiting it

“I bet she already knows I like you”, woojin shrugged

“really?”

“by the way she looks at me when you’re around and how she made us meet a couple times”

omg it made sense

did yeojin know all the time?

well, you didn’t know

but kim woojin was right beside you

and everything you wanted was to be with him

with your left hand, you touched his face and brought it closer

and kissed his cheek 

but you were too close

way too close to miss this opportunity

your noses touched and you smiled at each other

you looked at him, and his eyes were closed

you did the same

sat on the grass, about to be caught in any moment

his lips on yours

gently, calm

no rush because it felt like there was enough time

his face touched yours and his soft skin made you want to touch his cheeks, his eyelids, his nose

woojin’s details

but you felt more cherished than ever

he cupped your face

his touch in your cheeks was caring

just like him

when your lips parted, you heard the door opening again

“I’ll bring it to the kim’s”, it was your mother’s voice coming out of your house

you told woojin to stay there while you showed up out of nowhere in front of your mom

“hey, mum”

“hey, girl, what are you doing?”, she was carrying a pie in a glass bowl

“I was watering the plants here”, your hands on your pockets and your nervous smile never fooled her

but this time, she just handed you the glass bowl

“great, so help me giving this pie to the kim’s”

“uh, it smells awesome”

“I know”, she bragged

when she closed the door, you finally breathed

and woojin was still here, hiding just how you told him to

you laughed at his face

“let’s go, this pie is for your family”

[freedom-shamrock]

Two are Better, But Three is Best

Also on AO3

Heads up, this goes Lukanette pretty quickly and will move toward a Lukadrienette end game.  If that bothers you, feel free to skip it.

Marinette jogged up the stairs to the fourth floor of the apartment building.  She'd been warned that the elevator was slow and smelled a bit funky, and years of being Ladybug had kept her in good shape, even though Hawk Moth wasn't as active as he'd once been.  Her phone chirped with a notification, and she slipped it out of her sling purse to check.

Alya: Grl, you need to get here ASAP. This party's smokin'

Marinette rolled her eyes and handed the phone back to Tikki as she leaned against the fire door for the third floor, pushing it open with her weight.  She could already hear the music, something a bit different from Nino's usual repertoire. "Tell her I'm just outside the door."

Tikki giggled. "At least you already know it's going to be worth putting aside your projects for the evening."

"Pfft."  Marinette laughed. "We've established that Alya's idea of a good time is not always mine." Her bestie was a total extrovert, and if a party wasn't up to her standards, she was at liberty to drink enough to make it fun.  Marinette preferred to stay sober in case her Ladybug skills were needed, which meant she had to see every event without the filter of inebriation. That said, she hadn't seen her friends in too long, and Luka's apartment-warming party was a perfect opportunity to both welcome him home and see her other friends.

Marinette was just reaching for the doorknob when the door swung open, revealing a beaming young man with shaggy shoulder-length black hair. "Marinette!" He lunged forward, but froze short of pulling her into an enthusiastic hug.

"Luka!  Welcome home."  She stepped closer, helping complete the hug, and giggling when her feet left the floor.  "I'm so glad you're back to stay."

"Yeah?"  He set her back down, still beaming, and lightly pressed his forehead to hers. "Me too.  Especially if it means I'll get to see you on a more regular basis."

She felt the heat in her cheeks and hoped he wouldn't notice.  But then, he always did have that effect on her, though she fortunately never lost her ability to speak in full sentences with him.  "I hope that's a promise."

"You'd better believe it," he insisted, finally stepping back.  "Hey, can I show you around?" He looked excited now, his pretty blue eyes wide.

Marinette nodded.  "I'd love to see your new place."  She felt her pulse pick up when he caught her hand to gently tug her inside. It was fair to say compass Marinette was turned completely around, and she was fully embracing it.  

The apartment was small, but it probably had to be, for him to afford it on his own so soon after university. It felt downright tiny with the sheer number of people crowded into it. She waved to those she knew, their shared friends as well as his friends who she'd met over the years.  She saw Nino, Alya and Adrien in the living room, where the music was playing. Juleka and Rose were mixing drinks in the kitchen as they passed through.

"Name your poison, Marinette," Rose called, waving a cup in the air.

"Do you have any juice?" Marinette asked.

Rose looked off to the side for a moment.  "Yeah. Pineapple, tomato, and cranberry."

"Pineapple, please," Marinette replied.  Trust these two to be running a full bar at a party this size.

"Spiked or…?" Juleka waved a bottle of vodka in the air.

Luka shook his head.  "You know Nette doesn't drink, Jules."

"Things can change," Juleka pointed out.  "I just like to be open to all options."

"Just the juice, but thanks, Juleka," Marinette said.  "I appreciate the thought."

Luka lead her down a short hallway.  "Bathroom." He pointed to a closed door.  "Portal to Narnia." He pointed to another door.

"Really?" she asked, laughing.  "Can we go now?"

He snorted and opened it, showing mostly bare shelves.  "Fine. You caught me. It's the linen closet, and I'm shy on linens."

"Well that gives me at least one good idea for a housewarming gift," she said.

"You don't need to get me anything Marinette," he insisted. "Though I'd love it if we could get together, maybe hang out some now."  He shot a shy smile over his shoulder at her.

"I'd be terribly disappointed if we didn't do that," she agreed.  "But I can still give you a gift. The two things are not mutually exclusive."

He shook his head and pushed open the door at the end of the hall. "And this is my bedroom." He stepped back and waved at it. "I know it's all a bit bare yet, but I think it'll become home soon enough."  He had a double bed on a bare frame and a simple dresser. The walls were bare.

She patted his upper arm.  "Don't apologize. I can see that this has great potential to really be your place."  They'd kept in touch by text and chat, getting together whenever he was in town, and she knew how much it meant to him to have his own place after all the roommates and creative living situations he'd been in over the last five years. She was excited to see him at this point, even if the apartment didn't have his personal touches stamped all over it yet.

He sighed happily. "I knew you'd see that.  Most everyone else just focuses on the weird emptiness."

Marinette shook her head.  "You finished moving in two days ago.  It's not like you've had time to paint or decorate.  I'm pretty sure everyone here is on a relatively tight budget… well, not Adrien, but he has his own issues."

Luka snorted. "Nino and I were talking about that while we were setting up his sound gear."

She nodded, well aware of Nino's prediction that Adrien was coming up on a rebellious phase.  He was probably right, and she was curious and worried what that would look like. Too many rich kids got messed up with drugs, and she didn't want that for her friend… or anyone, really.  "You look so happy, Luka, it's nice to see." She stepped back so she could give him a once over.

He grinned.  "And you like what you see?" He held out his arms and posed, arching his eyebrows.

She poked him lightly in the stomach, making him curl in a bit. "You could stand to eat a bit more," she said with a giggle.  "But yes." She reached out and caught the ends of his hair. "I kind of miss the color though."

"The end of semester leading up to graduation was a beast, and I didn't have time to do it before this," he said, shrugging, then taking a step closer. "I'm redoing it tomorrow.  Probably going to go all out and do my nails while I'm waiting out the bleach."

"I'm free tomorrow if you want help," she offered.  

"Yeah?" he asked.

She nodded.  "I wouldn't want you to mess up your polish before it sets."

"I'm going to get the feeling that you like me," he warned.

She rolled her eyes.  "If you haven't already figured that out, I'd be worried about your brain."

He laughed. "Uhm… Okay, so I'm going to do this, even though I totally swore to myself I'd wait a week. And I don't even get to blame alcohol, because I've only had soda." It was almost like he was talking to himself; his smile was a little nervous and his cheeks had gone pink. "I feel like… and you can disagree if you want, but I feel like we've been kind of dancing around each other for years."

She stared at him, her stomach flipping over in hopeful surprise.

"We have this amazing chemistry, Nette, but there was never a point when we were both on the same page."  He met her eyes, his expression almost painful in its earnestness.  "We each had our phase of being completely obsessed and distracted by an unfairly hot and painfully oblivious blond guy."

She tamped down on her giggle, but nodded.  Adrien could be so stupid for someone so smart.

"We've needed time to focus on our arts, and it just wasn't good timing when I was so far away."  He licked his lips and took a deep breath, seeming to gather his courage. "But I need to admit that when I thought about coming home, I was really hoping all that would sort of fall away."

"Are you asking me out?" she asked, reaching for his hand and hoping he could read the happiness off her.

"Yeah."  He glanced down at their hands for a moment. "You're so amazing and gorgeous and I've been crazy about you for years."  He inched a little closer. "And I really want to kiss you right now." He dipped his head enough to get close, but didn't follow through. "But I'll understand if you aren't--"

She popped up onto her toes, just barely able to brush her lips against his.  Still, it was enough to stop his words and answer his question. Before she could lose her balance, his arm slipped around her waist to pull her toward him as he leaned in further.  It started gentle, like they were cautiously testing the waters. When she flicked the tip of her tongue against his upper lip, he opened eagerly to her and the kiss suddenly went much hotter and more intense. For a moment, she forgot all about the party going on around them.

When he pulled back, he gave her two gentle kisses before straightening up and opening his eyes.  He looked blissfully happy, and it made her feel warm and pleased to be part of that.

"You're adorable," she said, lightly tapping his nose. "And an excellent kisser."

"Marinette!" Alya called rounding the corner into the short hallway. "Where are yoooou?"

Luka laughed, shaking his head. "Best go appease Alya."

Marinette sighed.  "Fine. But we'll talk about this..." she gestured between them. "Before I go. Kay?"

Check out chapter 2 >>>

I've been trying to get this assembled for the last two or three weeks, but crazybusy life was not permitting it. Hope to update routinely. Currently no clue on end length.

⁂

If you’re so inclined, feel free to support me over on Ko-Fi

[captainwhogotthecanary]

ClexaCon: Day 1

Okay, Let me attempt to do something like organize my thoughts here. Photos will come later, ones that come at all; mostly there are professional photos, videos, and gifs available of the noteworthy moments, and I intend to reblog a lot of those later. In the meantime, my photos are on my phone, and the Tumblr app is eating anything I attempt to post with photos.

So. I’m going to try to do this chronologically because it’s how I tried to organize my brain, and I feel clearer than I have in a while. Panel titles or events in bold. Fandom and personal stuff is included, multishipping probably rampant because I just want my faves happy, alright???

Under the cut because long. Day 1 only because long, and because by time I got near the end of typing this, it was after midnight and I was getting less coherent.

Exploring Gender through Cosplay

As often as I cosplay, mine are fairly casual, and I’d never actually gotten a good chance to attend a cosplay panel of any sort with a clear mind. This was pretty awesome, all the different things you can do to change not only the costume but also your appearance, really make the cosplay work. A lot of the sentiment/message besides the practical application stuff was just “have fun, don’t be an ass, think about the character.” All good advice.

One of the panelists was visibly uncomfortable with his cosplay during the panel. It was understandable, but he looked great anyway and still gave great information and asides and personal experiences, and I’d love to see him do a panel where he’s more comfortable.

One Day at a Time

Okay, so one of the things I LOVE about this con and haven’t seen at the couple others I’ve been to is the intro videos. For each of the big panels, they’ve played a video beforehand, about the pairing or the character. If you’re rusty on the details, it’s a great refresher, and if you love the character or pairing, it’s just fantastic to watch. I believe they included these and the actress reactions in the official videos they’ve been posting. They’re great, super shippy, and I’ve teared up or cried at more than one.

ODAAT is one of the ones that made me teary, because it touched on Elena and her Papi and then how happy she and Syd are and just...

Emotions, y’all. I’ve got them.

Anyway, it was great. Isabella seemed pretty comfortable speaking, very aware of her presence and her platform. Sheridan was a little more like Syd, a little awkward and a lot geeky (like most of my favorite people, let’s be real). My takeaways from this panel were basically just that they both love Schnider and working with his actor, and that I ship Syd and Elena even harder now.

An executive producer got a call during the panel, and Isabella thought maybe it was about being picked up by a different network, but it ended up being Rita Moreno calling in, which was fantastic except how disappointed Isabella was. Not that she was unprofessional or pouty or anything, just there were a few moments of almost being able to FEEL how much this cast wants the show to keep going, and how much they love each other.

Avalance

Omg. I mean, okay, if you’re following me, you should probably go watch both Avalance and Nyssara panel videos. They’ll do a much better job of relaying anything factual than I will, so I’m mostly focusing on my reactions.

My reactions started with that damned intro vid, because holy hell, Sara and Ava are hot, and have awesome chemistry, and they’re both smart and strong and amazing and I am so, so, so not straight.

Uh. Where was I.

Highlights for me, in no particular order.

Okay, usually celebs look like people in real life, like real people or like their characters. Caity Lotz is MORE attractive in person than she is on tv. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE

Jes is kinda amazing as a person and actress and I intend to watch everything she’s in after this weekend. She cares deeply, which I know she shares with Ava, but unlike Ava who hides behind the professional shield, Jes just seemed so warm and real and disbelieving of how much people like her. She was having a very emotional day because she’d lost someone she cared about, and when she shared that, I doubt there was a dry eye in the room. The depth of her feeling was almost palpable.

Jes kept reaching out and touching Caity, who was much more physically reserved just in general. Caity is very obviously more familiar with the con circuit, which doesn’t mean she doesn’t care or anything! Just, how many of these could any living person do while still caring deeply and genuinely about every person they talk to? I suspect people have to distance themselves some eventually. Caity wasn’t cold, just more reserved.

Katrina interrupting was the best thing ever. It’s been giffed already. Go find it.

I loved hearing about the tango, about navigating a situation where there are two women who naturally want to take the lead. The lines blurred between where they were talking about themselves as actresses navigating a scene and their characters as people navigating a relationship, and it felt very real and lovely. Hilarious, too, because of course everyone in the Arrowverse (excuse me, Beeboverse) is gorgeous AND smart AND funny.

I’m glad they’re not really broken up I guess? The actresses seemed a little unsure because they filmed a lot of different takes with some differing implications, but they’re not on board with the “on again, off again” thing any more than I am, which is good. On is good.

End of the panel, people sitting behind us (oh! chronological order! I made a friend waiting in line for the ODAAT panel and we’ve mostly stuck together this weekend. She’s not LGBT and hasn’t watched any of the shows but she loves PEOPLE and is trying to learn and has had a lot of cool life experiences. Anyway. If I say “we” or “us” I probably mean me and friend, unless otherwise specified.)

Uh. Right. So. The people sitting behind us were like, “Hey, do you two want tickets to Cocktails for Change?” At first I thought she was trying to sell them, and I already knew I couldn’t afford that, just like I couldn’t afford the Caity/Jes/Katrina photo op I wanted (not complaint, just statement of fact! I got to go and I got to buy the photo op with Caity and I got a hotel room for a couple nights). Then she clarifies that she and her person (I’m gonna go with that when relationship isn’t clear. But oh, the number of happy wlw couples there was just amazing, and at some point I defaulted to assuming anyone there together was together, which wasn’t accurate, but it’s what I was seeing and delighting in and WE NEED MORE REPRESENTATION and omg keep a single train of thought, Kita). The two of them had bought two extra tickets they couldn’t use, couldn’t refund, and hadn’t been able to sell, so they were offering them to us so that somebody would enjoy them.

OMG. Like, who does that? What level of awesomeness to gift two separate $250 tickets to complete strangers??

I helped friend navigate the transfer process and helped her create an eventbrite account, and then we had the tickets, at which point I actually believe it was happening. And then AND THEN

Because clearly that wasn’t enough

they said “oh, we can’t make the trio photo op today, do you want it?”

Do

Do I

DO I

I still can’t believe they were for real, with that level of awesome. I checked like probably way too many times to make sure they were SURE because

yeah. Made my entire year, at minimum. 

Photo Ops

Got the photo op with Caity first. I’ll do pics separately after I scan them; they’re particularly glossy or something and my cell phone is doing a horrible job. So I go in dressed in my femme Snart cosplay, have enough presence of mind to ask (or point? I may have only managed pointing) to stand on her right side because I wanted to be able to hold the cold gun in my right hand.

“Hey, Cold,” she said to me.

HEY COLD

SHE RECOGNIZED WHO I WAS DRESSED AS OMGGGGGG

and did I mention fucking gorgeous beyond belief and amazing to boot? 

Anyway. She’s also smiling much bigger in my pic with just her than in the next one, when I didn’t have my gun, and I like to think it’s because she still thinks fondly of snart. Captain canary 4eva. Another thing on Saturday I’ll get to in my next post, equally small but equally “omg yessss she still ships it” to my mildly obsessed brain.

Obviously, after they took the pic, I walked blindly in the wrong direction and would’ve walked smack into the makeshift wall if the volunteers hadn’t steered me in the right direction. I don’t usually get star struck, but if it was going to happen, it was going to be with Caity Lotz, so it wasn’t actually a surprise.

Round two, trio photo, and I ended up between Caity and Katrina, who draped herself on my shoulder as she often does for pics. I’ll get to Katrina more for Day 2, but she just seemed very at ease, maybe the most comfortable person in any given room.

After photo ops I practically ran back to my car while still trying to recover, checked into and got settled into my hotel room, changed shoes (omg, as good as those boots are for a couple hours, after ten hours and two miles and lots of standing, my feet STILL hurt day+ later), and then headed back to the venue.

Cocktails for Change

So this was cool just to exist in a room with the celebrities (the theory behind the event and the price tag being you get to interact). We (friend and the people who gave us the tickets and a 5th potential friend we picked up while waiting in line) got to talk to an actress from Wynona (which I apparently badly need to watch. my to-watch list doubled this weekend), and then friend got Jes to agree to come over. That made me love Jes even more because her handlers kept trying to get her to go a different direction after she talked to one table for like half of the time, and Jes pointed at our table, strong and confident and I AM DOING THIS BECAUSE I SAID I WOULD.

I mean, idk what she actually said, but that was her not-subtle body language.

It had to be terribly frustrating for the handlers, who, even though they only got her to three tables total, did a better job with her than they did with most of the celebs. However, I wanted to applaud Jes.

Most of the celebs kept to themselves, or to their partners. Dot was like 5 feet from me for a good 20 minutes, and my inner gleek was ecstatic. Amber Benson was only a few feet farther for about the same amount of time. For her, I actually tried to go say hi, but she was absorbed in conversation with someone else and I didn’t want to interrupt. We made eye contact, though, so that was cool. Katrina, meanwhile, kinda starting circling and then was just like “Nah,” and she went and sprawled on a chair at the side of the room, again the most comfortable looking person there, and just let everyone come to her. Which, honestly, probably would be my recommendation if they change things for this event next year. Clearly, steering the talent to different tables isn’t working, so maybe steer the attendees instead.

Still, it was awesome, and I went back to my room and freaked out about OMG HOW IS MY LIFE THIS AWESOME before crashing hard.

Which I’m gonna do again now. Day 2 post tomorrowish.

[weepingvoidpenguin]

True to Name (3)

Part 1, Part 2

Summary: Loki has long since been forgiven, begrudgingly so by Tony, for his actions in New York so long as he continue to redeem himself by helping out the Avengers. Though Loki doesn’t mind doing good things, he only gets to be mischievous on missions, which believe it or not don’t happen quite as often as he’d expected, so he has chosen a victim to take out his mischievous actions on. You.

Warnings: The end shows hints of smut pertaining to the next chapter.

Word Count: 3,225

   The next few days passed in a blur. It was hard enough avoiding Loki at every turn but now you’ve grown to avoiding Sam as well. It was nothing he did, of course it wasn’t. It was that you needed some time to just think about everything. 

   It was hard to think straight though, with so many thoughts hounding you at once. The only place you could clear your mind was at the gym. There you were uninterrupted and focused. Everyone, aside from Tony, Wanda, Nat and Bucky, had all learned to steer clear of your path. Your death glare could turn back armies if given the opportunity. 

   Now, as you tried to create holes in the punching bag hanging from the ceiling in front of you, you were jolted out of focus by an unwelcome tap on your shoulder. You bit the tip of your tongue in shock and winced at the pain before turning around and coming face to face with Sam.

   He plastered on an over exaggerated smile and you kept the annoyed look on your face, “So,” Sam started, putting his weight on his toes then back towards his heels, “how’s training going?”

   You raised an eyebrow at him, clearly unamused with how he was trying to go about this conversation and you turned back towards the bag, “If I’m allowed to continue, it would be going great,” 

   You peeked a glance at Sam out of the corner of your eye and sighed when he seemed hurt by your words, “I’m sorry, Sam. I’m just. . . I don’t know. Not in a good place right now,”

   Sam nodded and held the bag in place to make it easier for you to attack, “Yeah that’s kind of what I wanted to talk about,” he said, tightening his hold on the bag with each punch you threw. “I just want to know what’s up,”

   You felt sweat drip down your forehead to your chin and resisted the urge to wipe it away with your forearm. “Nothing,” You lied, desperately trying to avoid the topic, “At least, nothing that I want to talk about,”

   Sam’s gaze lowered to the ground but he continued to hold the bag steady for you, “Why?” he asked, “(Y/N), we used to be best friends. We could tell each other any and everything. Now that we’re going out, it feels like we’ve backtracked,” 

   You halted a punch midway through and your muscles tensed with his words, if he only knew. 

   “I know,” You agreed, unwrapping the thin cloth from around your knuckles and tossing them into a bin nearby.

   “Can we go somewhere else to talk?” Sam asked, “Please?”

   An uneasy feeling began to emerge in your stomach. You’d been waiting for something like this to happen. In fact, you knew it needed to happen. But still, now that the time finally came, you wanted nothing more than to avoid this exact situation.

   “Sure,” you heard yourself say.

   Sam walked in front of you, leading the way towards his bedroom were good memories were once created. A while ago, back when the two of you were nothing more than best friends, you spent the night in Sam’s room and vice versa quite often. The two of you would share what’s on your mind and tell each other your relationship problems, or lack thereof. It had been a sanctuary for you and you genuinely loved to enter his room because you knew a good time would be spent.

   But now, as you trudged towards his room, you could not have felt any more uncomfortable and nervous. What was going to happen? Were you guys going to break up? Were you guys going to stay together and try to work things out? Your brain rattled with endless possibilities and although the first option was something you’d hoped for, you worried of the effect it would have on your friendship. 

   What ever happened to your friendship anyway? You two used to be so open and honest about everything with each other and now that that was the necessity for a thriving relationship, you couldn’t be any more closed off. 

   Your mouth grew dry once the two of you made your way through the kitchen and towards the double doors that led to the corridors. You caught a glimpse of Wanda who, guessing by the look on her face, could tell something was up.

   What’s going on? She asked in your mind.

   Sam wants to talk.

   Wanda’s face grew solemn and she gave me a look of pity.

   You want me to be there?

   You thought about her offer, and although it would’ve been easier for you to have gone through this upcoming conversation with some backup, you figured you owed Sam and yourself some privacy through this.

   You shot her a quick smile and passed through the double doors, Thank you but I think I’ve got this.

   Although you couldn’t see her face anymore, you knew she had a chastising look on her face, Be honest. It’s not good for either of you to go on wasting each other’s time.

   You nodded, obviously to no one in particular but took her advice to heart. You had to be honest. And your sad honesty was that you didn’t want to be with Sam. In fact, you never did. Not in that way. But here you were on your way to try and repair cracked cement with tape. 

   I can do this, you thought to yourself.

   You let out a slow breath and walked into Sam’s room, letting him latch shut the sliding door behind you. 

   You sat in your usual spot on the foot of the bed and made space for Sam to be seated next to you. You hadn’t been inside of his room were weeks and as you glanced around at the dark gray walls, you were glad to see nothing much had changed since then. 

   Sam sat on the empty space beside you and rested his hands on his knees, not once looking at you but instead at the barren wall, “What’s going on, (Y/N)? Huh? What’s happening?”

   Your uneasy stomach subsided a bit as the tone in Sam’s voice came out in genuine concern rather than the angry one you had expected from him. 

   “I don’t know,” You lied, biting your lip back in hopes he couldn’t tell.

   “(Y/N),” he spoke softly, placing a hand on your leg, one that you unexpectedly welcomed, “look, I know this whole dating each other thing is weird. In fact, I’m not even sure how I feel about it. When we were friends we had more chemistry and honesty than we do now.” You peered up at Sam, waiting for him to take it exactly where you needed it to go, “I miss how it used to be,” he whispered.

   “Me too,” you admitted, “I just- I think you are my soulmate but not the kind of soulmate that I should be in a relationship with.”

   Sam nodded, as if knowing, “The kind of person you were meant to meet but not grow with,”

   You nodded, “Exactly. Don’t get me wrong, we’re gonna grow old together but in the sense that I’m gonna be your best man and you’ll be my maid of honor,” 

   Sam cracked a smile and faced you, “I don’t know, I always pictured myself as more of a flower girl,” 

   “Then flower girl it is!” You exclaimed, extremely relieved at how well this was going as opposed to the crash and burn you had thought it would’ve been.

   “You’re my person,” Sam spoke, “And I’ll always love you. But we’re better as friends than lovers,”

   “Much better,” you agreed, nodding your head vigorously.

   “I missed you,” he whispered to you, placing an arm on your shoulder.

   “I missed you too,” you genuinely smiled for the first time in what seemed like weeks but was only a matter of days.

   And somewhere in the living room, Wanda was smiling too. 

   After embracing Sam and spilling all of the beans about Loki, everything felt completely back to normal. You had hoped Sam didn't break up with you just because he thought that was what you wanted, but rather because you both agreed it was for the best. 

   Although he was upset that Loki didn’t respect the boundaries of your relationship, which was understandable regardless of whether or not you guys were serious, he seemed more bothered by the fact that Loki had been messing with you for so long. 

   You left his room after an hour of catching up and pranced down the corridor, your arm looped through his. The funny part is, you and Sam behave much more like a couple when you’re friends than when you’re actually in a relationship. You thanked the Gods for putting someone like Sam in your path and divulged in everything he was as a friend. 

   As you emerged into the living room, arm in arm with Sam, you laughed to your hearts extent and felt so light and so at peace. Everything was as it should be and you were thankful for that. 

   You were so involved in your peace, in fact, that you hadn’t noticed Loki staring at the two of you, torn between the emotions of jealousy, self-pity and joy for you. After so long of wanting you and being too cowardly to say or do anything, you finally seemed happy with Sam. He wanted to feel happy for you, he really did. But nothing could stop his jealousy and sadness from overpowering his wants. So he looked away from the happy couple and resumed his conversation with his brother who was casting him a look of concern. Thor knew about Loki’s feelings. Loki had confessed them to him the day after the breakfast disaster. Or, it was a disaster for him anyway. 

   You walked merrily to the living room and leaned lazily against Sam once the two of you sat down on the couch.

   “So everything went well?” Wanda feigned ignorance.

   “Better than well,” you whispered, trying to keep the gossip quiet.

   “Friends?” Wanda asked.

   “Friends,” you confirmed with a nod of your head. 

   While you lay on Sam, Wanda decided to do the same and lay on you and force Vision into her lap so the four of you resembled knocked over dominoes. 

   “So what’s the plan for today?” You asked everyone.

   “No plans,” Vision responded but he could sense your good mood and desire to do something, “but we could train if that’s up your alley,”

   You scrunched your nose at the thought considering you’d just finished training before the talk you had with Sam, “I’m kind of in the mood to fly,” you admitted.

   Tony perked up in his seat, wanting nothing more than to keep you in a good mood since it’s been a while since he’s seen you chipper, “I can get the Quinjet ready in no time,”

   You smiled at Tony, “That’s not exactly the kind of flying I was thinking about,”

   “Like, flying flying?” Sam asked.

   Your smile broadened, “Precisely. Those that can’t fly get left behind,” you jokingly stated. 

   “We’re gonna be like a biker gang . . . but in the sky,” Peter said.

   “What a weird way to put it,” Nat croaked up, tilting her head to the side in mock humor.

   “What about those of us that can’t fly?” Bucky asked.

   “I’m glad you asked, James. Luckily for us, at the current moment, there’s more of us that can fly as opposed to can’t. Clint, Nat and Peter can be carried by those who can’t. Peter can stick to one of us with his web and the others can wear a double safety harness so they can attach themselves.” You replied.

   “What about me?” Loki spoke up, his voice a song to your ears.

   “Thor,” you simply answered, not bothering to look at him.

   Once explanations were given, everyone agreed to this little activity, mostly to keep you happy and you knew it. Once everyone was assigned a partner, at least everyone that couldn’t fly by themselves, you all made your way to the endless yard surrounded by water and woods and Wanda took off first.

   The both of you loved the feeling of flying and it was that much more fun when you were involved, no matter who was flying alongside. 

   Years ago you were completely ordinary, just working as a teenage receptionist at an eye care facility. It was only when you were walking to your car one night that things went a little strange. And you meant literally. There were loud clashing noises coming from above you but because of the black of night, nothing was visible. The only thing you managed to see was a silhouette of a man with a cloak fighting to contain something. 

   Screams of agony echoed through the parking lot, causing you to back away but never once taking your eyes off the potential danger. You attempted to enter back into the building but the manager locked the door behind you and her office was way in the back. You managed to pry your eyes from the scene momentarily to strike your hands against the door in an attempt to make as much noise as possible. One of your hands flew to your back pocket and pulled out your phone. You shakily scrolled through your contacts and pressed the name of the manager on duty. 

   You just heard the click of an answer before an immense force clashed against your back and threw your body so hard against the glass window that you flew through it. 

   A week later you awoke to a man with scars on his hands and he explained he was Dr. Strange, an ex surgeon. He had explained to you that he and a few of his colleagues had tried to contain one of the six infinity stones. It had a slight mind of its own when it came to power and didn’t want to be contained. 

   “So?” You had asked when things weren’t adding up.

   “So,” Dr. Banner said from behind Dr. Strange, “Instead of being stagnant for as long as possible, it chose to abide inside of you where it could be used,” he tried to explain, “Although I’m not quite sure why it hasn’t burned you up yet, it’s a lot of power for a human to wield.” He sat beside your hospital bed and handed you a glass of water.

   And that’s how you became the wielder of the Reality Stone. And boy were they right when they said it was a lot of power to have. You HAD to emit a certain amount of power every month or it would cripple your body. Luckily for you, you’ve trained enough with the Reality stone and you’ve used its own power to make it complicit to you. 

   So, what you meant when you said it was that much more fun when you flew with anyone, is because despite what speed anyone was going, the physics of the didn’t apply to them. They could breathe easily despite the difference in pressure and weather.

   You kicked off the ground and caught up to Wanda in no time. You took a deep breath and felt the fresh air fill your lungs. The wind whipped wildly at your hair and you giggled with the feeling. Nothing was more nostalgic or peaceful to you then a glide through the skies. 

   Peter hung from Tony like an actual spider and you laughed cheerfully, “Hey, kid!” You shouted over the wind even though he wasn’t much younger than you. Once you caught his attention you yelled, “Wanna fly?”

   He seemed confused, as he wasn’t wearing his suit but he nodded nevertheless and you full on cheesed, “Let go!” You shouted.

   “WHAT?” Peter yelled back, more in shock than in confusion,

   “LET GO!” You repeated, now ordering him.

   Peter pondered on it but once remembering what your abilities were, he let go of the web connecting him to Tony and . . . he dropped. He was falling towards the ground, his arms flailing in all directions and suddenly, he wasn't. He flew down to his level and told him what to do and in no time at all, Peter was flying.

   After about an hour or so of flying around, you all made your way back to the compound and snuggled up for another movie night. Tony and Peter had first pick on movies this time so the rest of you went to your rooms to change and get snacks from the kitchen. 

   You were just finished changing into your matching shorts and tank top when you heard a knock on your door. You hurried over to the barrier and threw it open.

   “Ya ready?” Sam asked, your favorite blanket in his hand. 

   You jumped onto Sam’s back and he gave you a piggy back ride to the living room. You entered the room with laughter and cheer and didn’t notice the side eye glance Loki threw at you.

   You went to rest your head on Sam’s shoulder before being put down when the voice that came out of Sam’s body.

   “So, he’s your happily ever after then?” Loki asked from Sam’s spot.

   You were so thrown off that you almost got thrown off. But you didn’t say a word, instead you smirked and placed a light kiss on Loki’s cheek, “Bet you wish you could’ve felt that,”

   “But I did?” Sam spoke up before he let you down gently.

   “Remember that thing I told you that Loki was doing?” You asked and received a nod in response, “Well he just did it again,”

   Sam nodded, clearly irritated at Loki’s actions but ignored them cheerfully and saved you a seat on the couch. You grabbed a pack of hard Now & Later and a cup of water then started making your way towards the living room when your path was suddenly blocked off.

   You feigned a smile and took a step closer to the looming figure, “What’s up, love?” You asked Loki.

   He raised an eyebrow at you for the nickname but set an arm on the island beside you to cage you in, “What was that?” He asked.

   “What was what?” You feigned innocence, stepping so close to the God that only a hair could pass through the two of you.

   “You know what,” He responded, his jaw clenched in annoyance, “What game are you playing?”

   You could see him have to restrain from closing the distance between the two of you. Your eyes flickered back up to his and a playful smirk sprawled across your lips, “What? The God of Mischief can’t handle some mischief?” You asked.

   A look flickered across his eyes so quickly you weren’t completely sure you’d seen it. He looked down at your frame and mirrored the same playful smile, “I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into,” he warned.

   “Oh, I think I know enough,” you whispered into his ear, your lips slid across the skin of it. You raised an eyebrow at him and bit down lightly onto your bottom lip, not once breaking eye contact, even as your hand brushed across the visible member in his loose pants. 

Tag List: @reading-cozy-crazy @bambi-loki @shockwavee @harryisbae101 @fuckthatfeeling @carydorse @cuteandnerdythings @nogardsoahk @mamachele81 @a-smokeless-flame

* I believe I tagged everyone excluding that one person I messaged so please let me know if you’d like to be tagged. Just because I don’t respond (It’s because I really don’t understand how to work Tumblr), doesn’t mean you’re not added to the list.

[c-bulletaftermidnight]

Ok I said I wouldn’t ask but your TFA answer was so awesome I’m curious - things you liked/disliked about TLJ?

Oh boy, oh boy

Liked:

_ Uuuh. Kylo becoming Supreme Leader and cementing himself as the true villain I guess since it’s interesting to work on it’s gonna the political & military landscape of the FO??

_ Kylo being shown off again as a good tactician when fucking up the Raddus.

_I’m glad Phasma’s gone. 

-Finn & Rey hugging at the end of the movie that’s it.

That’s it. 

Dislikes:

_ The worldbuilding has been fucked up just to respond to Rian’s whims when he have barely any explications about the context.

_ Fucking bad designs everywhere. 

_Boring cinematography except a few times. 

_ The fucking zooms-in and Kylo looking like he’s stuck in a washing machines when he barrels rolls around the TIE Silencer. 

_ The FO is suddendly overpowered with money and personnal. The loss of SKB has like no impact on the organization. This episode should have explored to their backstory but Rian simply didn’t care.

_ Everybody in this movie shut off their brains. 

_ Hux went from “officer didn’t had not much battle experience” to a total joke. His traumas due to his upbringing are ignored and his sufferings are reduced into supposed moments of comedy .And it’s not like Rian didn’t knows his past, he even gave him a first name. Hell he didn’ even bother explain Hux’s past to Domhnall and he discovered that his character had a first name when an interviewer asked him about it (Domnhall seemed pretty angry about it since he invest himself a lot in reserches and stuff for the characters he plays.) Knowing how Domhnall had to improvise the blaster scene, i’m sure he would have objected even more of Rian’s decisions.  His purpose half of the movie is to do Huxposition on the bridge, being totally incompetent and thrown around. It’s gonna be hard for JJ to repair this and have the audience take him seriously as a villain. 

 _ Poe, well, I never cared much about his character. I even tried to read the comics but I felt barely nothing about him. But I was hoping TLJ would help but instead they managed to makes me hate his character. The Poe/Holdo arc was badly written. There was many ways to make an arc like that make sense but also more emotionnal for these two characters. I hate how one second they makes him this macho man who keeps understimating lady officers but a second after, the female characters are “haha, I like him ;)”   Yeah sure. 

_Finn’s arc who is reduced as total coward and a joke and where war has to be explained to him (a fucking child-soldier) by a woman that constantly think about hurting him when he mentions Rey, the person he is close to the most and then is forced as a potential love-interest to him for some reasons. The DJ explanations are just bad (of course, the Resistance has to buy weapons. We knows that Rian, thx) The suicide run was also pretty stupid. Also the fact that him and Rey didn’t reuniting on the Supremacy screams so much Rian wanting them to interact as less as possible in the movie. Finn deserves better.

_ Rey’s arc. Can we even talk about an arc? Her character regressed. As if she didn’t dealt with years of abuse and survival on Jakku and as if Kylo never tortured her and hurt her closed ones. Hell she even get tortured twice in the space of two days because of Kylo. The Force-skype stuff feels so forced. Adam & Daisy only have good chemistry when their characters are set against each other. Rey talks about how she is scared of the Force within her but we see her then has no problem to deal with it and master everything in one second (rendering the existence of jedi school pretty useless like you just have to download the Force-powers of a master jedi and that’s it. The Force.exe is installed. ) The small training scene where she cut the rock looks pretty stupid, her sword fighting position is pretty bad during it. Going to the dark side has no consequences on her. She has no agency. Replace the word “Force” by the plot and you’ll see what I mean. 

_ Luke. Has someone who has to deal with depression, I think showing Luke as irritated and stuff can makes sense. I kinda relate since my temper changed a lot. I had a lot of patience & kindness but now, everything irritate me (from a member of my family intruding in my space to hearing the ringing of the phone) I’m scared to see my friends, I feel like a walking failure that I will never be satisfied about myself or will satisfy my parents, I just want to be left alone & if this lead me to die that way, then so be it. The problem is how wonky the writing leading-up to this Luke is bad. Everything is about to make us feels sad for Kylo (I don’t). Kylo’s turning against his family upon learning that he is the grandson of one of the most dangerous war criminal would makes senses. Luke blaming himself because he felt he failed to help his nephew after years of work instead of randomly popping his lightsaber would have made more sense. Luke’s grieving all his others students would make more sense. Luke attempting to reason Kylo after the massacre but still failing would make sense. Luke looking for a solution on the island and then failing to find one, thus made him feel unable to see his sister face to face would makes more sense. There’s is barely any emotionnal moments for Luke and the Final holographic showdown feels like they absolutely wanted to avoid Kylo to kill Luke directly (like c’mon, he’s been committing war crimes since the first minutes of TFA)

_ Kylo. TLJ is a bad attempt at Kylo’s pity fest.It’s interesting that his traumas are acknowledged while the other character’s are pretty ignored despite having a tragic’s past that should impact them as well. Everything is about him. Most of his actions are pretty villainous, he’s no grey character like people are trying to force us to believe because he looks sad. This is an humanized villain arc (which he didn’t need after seeing TFA), not a redemption one. At least he is now the main villain too, so there’s tha (But the “Uwu save ben solo” stuff going around spoil my liking of him as a villain. I’m not here to see whether Kylo is gonna turn LS for a third time in ep9. It would be too repetitive at this point) I just hate the “ You are truely Han solo’s son”line because it is obvious he is more like his mother. Only father figures are important to the characters in SW, it seems. Also the goddamn scar being moved on his eyes but it doesn’t impair his vision despite being cut by a freaking lightsaber. Like Rian could have gave us a legit explanation why Kylo was weakened & needed Rey to fight the preoatarians guards: Losing an eye would be an huge handicap tha het is not used to yet so he needed help to take the throne. 

_ Leïa is only here to looks sad and for Kylo’s momentarily manpain (and Marry Poppying around space). Like really, you reduce Leïa fucking Organa too that?? The woman ready to move time and space just for the sake of saving freedom? the princess of Alderaan who saw her planet being destroyed but kept up on? the woman who was mainly in charge of the strategizing of Hoth’s evacuation? The woman who was willing to stay on Bespin just for the sake of massacring stormtroopers because Vader gave Han away to Boba Fett & would have stayed if Lando didn’t pulled her off to the Falcon? The woman who had to face the galactic backlash of her being Vader’s daughter but still kept on? A woman full of anger but also sense of duty?

_ Rose, rose, rose… I was excited to meet her so imagine my disappointment upon discovering she was just here to lecture & push around Finn & being forced as another love interest that doesn’t even work. It’s like she forgot that her sister died the same day and that she should still be grieving. We don’t even get to see her use her mechanic’s skills in the whole story. The message about her character makes no sense between her last line in tlj and all the destructions she is willing to provoke (not all the ppl working at Canto bight are rich, has it show in the Canto Bight book) or let happens. KMT doesn’t deserve that. 

_ Yoda’s appearing bcos I hate this hypocrite of a gremlin and was expecting for Luke to dunk him in the sea. 

_ Chewie, the glorified cab driver.

_ The battles are a huge clusterfuck & the most badly written space battle I have ever seen. 

_The way Poe’s piloting skills feels to OP when you compare to other pilots, in particular in recently RO. 

_D’qar’s battle is a fucking tactical mess. Everyone has been conviniently dumb down. Same during the slow-mo chase. What’s even the point of bringing the whole fleet of star destroyers if they are just useless.

_ Bad infiltration scene on the Supremacy on the same level as RO’s one. I’m just tired of infiltration scenes in SW. Please stop that shit. 

_ The preotarian guard fight is a choregraphic mess that has no stakes for the characters. Everyone is just waiting for their cue and twirling around. It’s like it was shooted in one go. And there is a difference between Luke in ROTJ kicking a blaster out of the hand of a foe looking bad due to technical problems of the time. And a knife suddendly being edited out at the last minute because the mc would have die then

_ Crait. A good example on how not taking in account the worldbuilding that could be used in battle. So you’re gonna tell me that the Resistance decided to hide away in a base with no issue other than big metallic door in the front? Sounds like a good plan.

_ Leïa never taking command of the battle and strategizing and letting Poe deal with all that despite that she is the general that Poe is a demoted member of the Navy who caused a shit-ton of mess among the Resistance like 30 minutes ago

_ Hux is still depicted in a idiotic way & using bad tactics again. If this is supposed to be a movie about the characters learning about their mistakes,well it didn’t do its job.

_ What is even the use of the third cannon of the gorrilla walkers??

_ What was even the point to use these old speeders besides for being destroyed?

_ Rey shooting down 3 TIES in one shot seems to break a lot of SW physics. Her disappearing of the whole fight shows how much Rian didn’t care abt her character beyond having her interact with Kylo.

_ Y’know, I have Battlefront 2 and in the game there is mining tunnels on the battlefield that you can use to hide. In the movie they are not present, the whole Resistance sit dumbly in trench and just wait to be massacred. I was hoping those tunnels would re-appear in the movies & would be used to sink the walkers by bringing them down with bomb used for mining but nope. The image of walkers falling in a sinkhole, provoking a storm of red dust, coloring the outfits,armors and vehicles in red would have been pretty badass to see.

_ The ramming canon trained on like 10 kilometers instead of using the gorrilla walkers designs and adding to them the mini death-stars canons. They can’t use it all the time tho bcos it would need to cool down before shooting again. Aren’t these supposed to be artillery vehicles ffs???

_ The Resistance not even rigging their escape ships with bombs so if the FO penetrated their base, they can at least cripple them by exploding them. So much for a group that is supposed to be specialized in guerrilla warfare.

_ Talking about guerrilla warfare, i was expecting at least a pursuit and firefight in the mines. No use of the worldbuilding during battle scenarios once again. 

_ Leïa should have been the one to confront Kylo, not Luke. Showing her willing to fight her own son and dies during it for the freedom of the galaxy would have been a good way to send her off and building her as this strong, resilient, legendary leader willing to fight her own family for the good cause. It would have been a good middle finger to people who slandered her upon learning she was Vader’s daughter.

_ Rey effortlessly levitating these rocks. Showing her struggle would have made the ending scene more rewarding.

_ The news of the Battle of Crait spreading super fast despite that the Resistance official journalist, Suralinda Javos wasn’t even present during it for documenting or something.

_ Broom boy & the way it is implied that he might join the Resistance or something because of his Force-powers. A fucking child.Involved in a war. I thought Finn being a child-soldier was bad thing?

And I’ll stop there for now, because there is so many problems with this movie, i’m never gonna be finished with it. 

[sserpente]

A/N: Request from @phyllisforever and @mom2reesie. Did anyone else miss Eric? I did! I really gotta re-watch Divergent over the holidays. Have fun reading! ♥

Words: 2193 Warnings: implied smut/mentions of smut

“What the fuck am I supposed to give him? He’s one of the leaders, compared to me he’s bloody rich and apart from that, I know nothing about him.” You complained, staring at your red Christmas cocktail with dismay. After lunch today, Max had decided that it would be “fun” to do Secret Santa this year, letting every single member of Dauntless draw a name.

“I won’t even be able to buy a tree this year. What’s Christmas without a Christmas tree?” You asked sadly. “Besides, Eric will kill me if I end up giving him nothing at all.”

You had been more than reluctant to join that stupid action. You could barely afford a Christmas gift for your family whom you actually cared about, let alone the tree. Technically, even if you could buy Christmas gifts, where would you put them under? Your coffee table? You scoffed.

“You tell me, silly, you’re the one who’s sleeping with him” Your best friend retorted mockingly, rolling her eyes as she did.

“Slept. Past tense. We slept with each other three times and there were no strings attached, how many times do I have to tell you that? It was a one night stand, nothing more and nothing less.”

Which was true. After partying in the pit around a week ago, things between the two of you had gotten a little heated and you had quickly noticed that the chemistry, tangible and buzzing like electric energy, was strong and numbing so you had decided to act on it. The sex was amazing, needless to say but that didn’t mean you were working on some kind of relationship.

Eric was a leader and you were… a former initiate who had pissed him off a few times too often. Sure, he was incredibly sexy, intelligent and had that typical alluring bad boy aura around him but was he actually boyfriend material? Yes, wait, no! No, of course not… right?

“Sure, can you count? You guys landed in bed three fucking times, that’s totally a sign you’re going to— oh. He’s staring at you.” Your best friend paused, her eyes widening in surprise.

“Who? Who is staring at me?”

“Eric, duh!” Frowning, you risked a quick glance. Your best friend was right. Eric was sitting in the corner, holding a glass of expensive whiskey. His strong and muscly arms were propped up on the table, his blue eyes fixed on you as if you were his prey.

Now that was just what you needed. If he had been eavesdropping your conversation, you might as well toss yourself down the chasm right away. On the other hand, the look he kept checking you out with reminded you of the one he’d had on before pouncing on you and fucking you senseless. God, so many orgasms…

“Great. That’s my cue.” You stated dryly, hoping to scare the naughty thought away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, hopefully with an idea as to what to gift Eric.”

Your best friend only smiled knowingly. “Alright, good night… sweet dreams!”

Scoffing, you got up and left the pit, heading straight to your apartment. There was no need to panic yet, after all, right? You still had ten more days to find him the perfect—and cheap—present.

Christmas Eve

There was need to panic. You cursed loudly when you attacked the battered punching bag in front of you, still pondering over what to get Eric. It was past ten already. Gosh, you had barely managed to buy your little cousin a present—that doll with the blue dress she had wanted so badly—and on top of that, nothing you came up with you thought Eric would like.

You should have paid better attention back when you had been in his bedroom, checked for his hobbies and interests but then again… you’d been too busy getting your brains fucked out.

“You’re up late. Shouldn’t you be in bed waiting for Santa to crawl through your chimney or something?” You flinched when you heard his voice behind you, echoing through the training hall like a threatening thunder. He always managed to sound stern and intimidating, even if he tried holding a normal conversation. Well, it was a little hard to do so given you had seen each other naked.

He was referring to the story you had told your little cousin when shopping for her Christmas present two days ago, about Santa coming to town to put the presents under the tree. Eric had overheard your conversation and deliciously amused himself. You were amazed he hadn’t mocked you for it, almost as if, deep down, he appreciated the cute gesture. Who were you to understand him though? Him sticking his dick into your vagina three times didn’t make you know him, after all.

Shaking your head, you shrugged.

“I can’t sleep.” You lied, hoping he would not notice your discomfort.

It wasn’t fear of him that crept up your body when you thought of tomorrow morning where everyone in the pit would exchange presents and receive a little gift in return and Eric… Eric would get nothing, that you had figured out last night. It was fear of disappointing him.

Perhaps your best friend was right and you did like him a lot more than you wanted to admit.

“I figured that. You always beat that punching bag senseless when you can’t.” He had noticed that? Had he been watching you for a longer period of time already? You had only seen him mustering you once, back when you had talked to your best friend about that stupid Secret Santa mission initiated by Max.

“Let’s go have a drink. I think you’ve had enough training for today.” He suggested.

Pausing, you thought about it for a second.

“Alright. Will that drink include me ending up in your apartment, us ripping off each other’s clothes and then misinterpreting a one-night stand once more?”

The Dauntless leader chuckled darkly. His blue eyes seemed to look right through you and into your soul, boring into you like sharp needles. You were ready to give in and submit to him, even if that meant admitting that you were crushing on him. Maybe you could gift him yourself and pleasure him with your mouth for a while. It would at least be some kind of present… only how would you tell him that?

“I wouldn’t say no,” he finally replied, cocking his head over to the door before turning around to leave. He didn’t expect you to follow—he simply knew you would. Fuck, what if he knew you were into him already? Should you ask him? No, that would make you look like an idiot. You would wait until he was tipsy and then approach the sensitive topic. Perhaps then he wouldn’t kill you.

A few drinks and one hour in, you were still sitting at the bar, talking about all and sundry, exchanging absurd and funny stories about your experiences in the faction and, once the ice had been broken, relationships.

“Look,” he said, taking another sip of his third beer which he had almost emptied again. “I want a woman who can stand up for herself, a woman who is independent and strong but doesn’t argue if I want to take things in hand and take care of something for her. You have no idea how hard it is to find these, even in Dauntless. Most of them just duck away thinking I will push them down the chasm if they so much as bat their eyelashes at me.”

It was the beer talking, that you were sure of. Eric was never this open, not with anyone and especially not with you. You understood what he said about his type. You hated whiny women who hid behind her boyfriends, wanting to be carried around and spoiled like little princesses but if need be, a man should be there to support his woman at any cost—and she should be open-minded enough to let him.

“Can you blame them?” You responded, giggling. “You’re scary and intimidating as fuck. I don’t get how I ended up in your bed in the first place.”

Eric gave you an evil smirk.

“About that…” he started cheekily. “How about we celebrate Christmas our own way?”

It certainly was one way to ask to spend the night together. Fine, you didn’t mind. Fuck, you didn’t mind at all. If only this meant as much to him as it did to you. You wondered, quietly, if you could be his type. He hadn’t let you know about any physical traits, never mentioned with a word if the woman of his dreams should have big boobs, blonde hair or green eyes but only about what personality intrigued him.

Well, and if you were not, you could have one more night of fun with this handsome man. It was rare Eric actually treated someone nicely in the faction, if only to sleep with them. You enjoyed the affection as much as you enjoyed spending time with him and… shit, you really were crushing on him.

“I’d like that.” You managed to choke out, watching how he drank up his beer only to do the same to your cocktail. The alcohol hadn’t yet kicked in but the drowsiness you could already feel. Almost stumbling, you followed him outside into the compound and turned to where his apartment was.

“Let’s go to your place tonight.”

Oh? You were hoping to be able to fuck him under a Christmas tree but your bed would do too. To be honest, you didn’t really care.

“Alright then,”

Nodding, Eric let you take the lead. You both walked in silence and darkness, the dim light barely illuminating the grey ground to your feet. When you finally reached into your pockets to unlock the door and invite him in, however, you gasped, the keys falling from your grasp with a barely audible cling.

Right there, on the coffee table in the middle of your small studio apartment, proudly stood a tiny and neatly decorated Christmas tree. Colourful lights blinked happily in the dark room, a bright star ornament complementing the tip.

Your lips parted, surprise prominent on your face. Who had…?

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N).” Eric murmured, his hot breath brushing against your earlobe as his hands gently but possessively grabbed your waist. Hold on a second… Sucking in a deep breath, you spun around.

“Wait… you put the Christmas tree here? W-why?”

“I overheard you telling your best friend that you couldn’t afford a tree this year. Thought I would help you out. Besides, I drew your name from that stupid Secret Santa hat Max forced on me.”

Eric had been your Secret Santa? What on Earth were you gonna do now? He had gotten you an actual Christmas tree and you still had… nothing for him in return.

“That’s… that’s, I’m speechless. You have no idea how much that means to me, Eric. Thank you.”

Hesitatingly, you stood on your toes, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him close. You hadn’t shared a lot of soft kisses yet, only passionate and heated make outs that had ended up in either him eating you out or you sucking him off. This kiss, however, was different. It was special, magical. Like fire, something indescribable seemed to enflame between you, locking your hearts together. Never before had you hoped more frantically that he felt the same for you and still, you pulled away again, biting your lower lip regretfully. He needed to know before this got out of hand.

“Eric, I need to tell you something.”

The Dauntless leader lifted his eyebrows, not bothering to hide his smug smirk.

“I was your Secret Santa but I, and I am so, so terribly sorry, I—”

“I know.” He interrupted, kneading your buttocks in the process, impatient.

“Y-you do? You eavesdropped, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“And you’re not… mad?” You asked suspiciously.

Eric only shook his head. “It’s alright. Now let’s get you out of these clothes so I can collect my Christmas present.”

“I’ll be your Christmas present?” You replied, giggling. Now there was the alcohol. Your original idea of gifting yourself to him didn’t seem too far-fetched now.

“If I get to keep you for all future Christmases, then yes…” Eric growled hungrily into your neck, licking over your sensitive flesh and leaving hickeys in between gently biting you. It was hard to focus on any rational thought as long as he kept doing that. Every single one of his touches was clouding your mind like tons of snow burying you beneath them. Was this… his way of asking you to be his girlfriend?

Grinning triumphantly, a warm feeling spreading in both your lower regions and your heart, you kissed him once more.

“Well then I guess you should finally unwrap me.”

You let out a playful scream when he lifted you up and heaved you over his shoulder to carry you over to your bed, eagerly meeting your offer. Oh and you were sure, this would be your best Christmas yet.

[lucafilmuk]

Critical Reflection FN2

Later Anna

Role - Director and Writer

For me this film was something quite special, the process of making it especially. I wrote the script after being inspired by the location it was shot in. After seeing the stunning lecturer with its huge windows that would provide a stunning natural light as well receiving the task of shooting on campus, I knew what I wanted to create. After brainstorming independently and with my crew I got them on board with the idea of romantic conflict drama and we began the pre-production. Before anything went ahead I sorted out getting access to the lecturer hall. After a few emails back and forth between myself and Zoe we managed to secure two filming days there. The rest of pre-production consisted of writing the screenplay, going over mood boards with Max, planning the extras which consisted of making a very large group chat and convincing half the film course to help out. The directing aspect of this film however I felt was my biggest contribution. I found this is where I really managed to portray what I wanted to create to my crew, cast and extras.

The feedback of our film was mixed. We received pointers on aspects that I was annoyingly aware of and wished I could of changed pre-crit. We did receive positive feedback about the scale of the project which I appreciate considering the time put into this aspect, location and extras etc. The feedback that resonated with me the most was the idea of prioritising certain aspects of the film - such as the length of the introduction compared the length of the conflict. I think the feedback was somewhat brutally honest which is useful and fair. I found I struggled to see the light in the feedback as the negatives kept centre in my mind. Davids appraisal of the panning down shot of the raising hand was small win for myself as I had this shot in my head before I even wrote the script.

I found the class feedback to be useful especially in the brain storming phase of the film, along with the editing classes being informative in terms of keeping the idea of how I wanted it edited in mind.

I find the films strongest points to be the leading actors chemistry, the location, the extras and the cinematography. I think what let the film down was the prioritising of certain clips over others and overall the lack of revisions on the edit.

I think in terms of post production and production we all worked very well together as a crew. Bouncing off one another throughout and keeping each other on track. In post I felt communication suffered, perhaps due to the Easter break and everyone being located away from each other.

I enjoyed seeing my classmates films due to the sheer differences between them all. I found that it was interesting to see the creations of the films from people I knew at only a classmate level as well those who I was close too. For me it's almost like getting to know someone better without even talking to them. An interesting aspect of the shoot was seeing 'Helpline' a film created by Ariel Homossany's group. Having been on set for both shooting days as an assistant and sitting in on Ariel editing the project, it was interesting to see it come together from an outside perspective.

Overall I see 'Later Anna' as a learning experience. I feel a hint of disappointment in the film not quite achieving the vision I had in my mind but a pride in myself for putting my all into it. I am very much inspired by the feedback and excited to go back over and edit the film myself to try achieve the films true potential.

[thoughtsoftheantagonist]

A Song for You

IM BACKKKKKKK. I know it had been a minute but this has been a crazy bit of time for me. Things should be calmer now, hope you are ready......I wasn't. lol

P.S as always let me know your thoughts and I'll see you on the next one. 

Chapter Sixteen

Juice POV

 How does one stop heartache? How do you reach into your own chest to stop the painful throb? Everyone had different ways that worked, different formulas that were tweaked to their body chemistry. And these past three days he had watched his club brothers and wife exhibit every kind. From rage, numbing it with a drink to ignoring it all together and going forward. He and Joy had finally stopped pretending and had broken down into a heap not a day after the funeral. Lyla had just been over for dinner with the kids as they tried to settle into some kind of normal routine and figure out the day to day shit. And once the kids had left he held his wife on the coach as she silently cried, and seeing her pain has started him up until they had fallen asleep there, waking in the morning when Hap had come by when they missed the first hour of work, after that day his father in law had been over every day and oddly enough had decided to help Lyla where he and Joy couldn't.

Agreeing to take the three children to school if either of them couldn't. And it had honestly started to work well, but it was still early to tell if it would stay that way. He was currently printing out receipts for someone before he heads into the clubhouse for a break with Joy. Jax, Bobby, and Chibs had been gone for about an hour already. Something about the diner in town, he had honestly been too tired to care, he shakes himself from his own daze and hands the person their papers with a parting nod and heads into clubhouse his feet picking up pace as he heard his wife's voice growing in volume. “Either turn in your fucking papers by days end or turn in your god damned patch and find another charter you shit heads. I'm not telling you again.”  the scene he catches as he rounds the corner makes his eyes narrow and his hands clench. His five foot three wife is nose to chest with a red-faced Frankie who is glaring down at his wife's upturned face. Damn happy and passing down his anger to his daughter, wasn't the Irish in her enough, he quickly moves to stand next to his wife.

“If you haven't noticed sweetheart you have no more weight here. You turned in your own VP patch so I don't have to listen to shit you have to say. So back down.” Frankie is quicker then he was ready for, his hand coming to shove Joy back by her shoulder. He isn't as big as Frankie, but no one touches his fucking wife, he uses his elbow to catch the man in the stomach. Hearing the air leave Frankie lungs in a painful grunt he uses his left hand to crack him in the jaw. Sending the man sprawling on the floor, standing over the man he speaks calmly “Don't touch my wife. Turn your fucking papers in or turn in your patch. Jax will hear about this shit.” he drags Joy from the clubhouse, finally getting her to the playground next to the garage. Without a word he sets her on the seat and starts to push, he knew from the look on her face, knew she needed to tamper down her anger before she could tell him what happened before he got there. Lunch could wait, something wasn't right.

His wife talks as he pushes her. “I don't fucking trust them. All three of them, it's like this little voice in the back of my head. And so much is wrong Juan, Opie is gone, Lyla isn't talking, there are three little people who depend on us to help, my dad is never around anymore unless he is asleep or helping with Lyla. And we are trying to keep both our necks above water and I look into my president eyes and I feel like I don't know who the fuck he is anymore.” he sighs, yanking on the chains he pulls her to a stop, moving around he kneels down before his wife. Hating how she is hunched into herself, how small and afraid she looks, rubbing his hands up and down the outside of her thighs he says “I get it. It seems like our club is falling apart around us. We are dropping like flies and Jax is different, he watched his best friend die baby. And I don't think all of him came back from that.” his grip on her thighs tight for a moment “it was like losing his brother, Joy. It would be like me losing you or visa versa. You can't come back whole from that.” he looks up as her small, soft hands cup his jaw. The sad look in her eyes hurt him, but he could also see understanding. “Your right. I normally handle stress better. It's just one after the other and it's like none of us can catch our breath from the last one. I'm so scared Juan that the next son to drop will be you or dad.”

Standing he pulls his wife up with him, wrapping her in his arms. Realizing he hadn't just held her without it being for comfort and he instantly realized he had been slipping on his job. Sure Joy needed comfort but she also needed someone to help yank her up out of this funk. They needed to be solid places to push off when the other didn't have it in them to move on their own. Pulling back he holds her soft rounded face in his hands, looking down at her he takes in her make up the free skin, the bags under her eyes on full display. “We really forgot to look after ourselves and each other didn't we baby.” Her rueful grin is her only reply, dropping a kiss on her forehead he sighs, resting his lips against her warm skin as he speaks. “We can't let this stop us Joy. This club is our family but we need to make promises to leave this club outside our front door when we get home. Kinda like our promise to never lay in the bed angry, the club doesn't come home with us. At least until it's not causing us to lose our sleep and minds. Deal?” she stares at him for a solid moment, her golden eyes doing several sweeps of his face before she speaks “And people say I'm the brains in this relationship…...guess I got lucky. Good looks, great body, smart, big heart and big dick.” he chuckles and with a smirk he pats her on the ass, hearing the guys pull up he plants one more kiss to her forehead before wrapping an arm around her shoulder, leading her towards Jax, Chibs and Bobby. He wasn't bullshiting Frankie. Jax was going to know about his he-man shit.

Joy POV

After she and Juan spoke to Jax about the confrontation between herself and Frankie, with a hefty amount of reluctance and reassurance that she was fine they headed inside for Church. Seeing the bruise on Frankie Diamonds jaw already showing made her grab her husband's thigh under the table. Juan's hand lays over hers as he leans back into his seat as Jax goes right in “All right. Meeting's all set with Gaalan and the cartel. Finally get this big gun deal locked down. Make green and brown happy.”  She laces her fingers with Juan as Clays warn voice sounds off from his place at the end of the table “It's currently black that concerns me.” his comment starts a domino effect as Frankie speaks “Everyone else, too. People putting this home invasion shit on the club.” She and Juan release their grip on each other's hand to lean forward, her husband scuffing as Gogo adds his two cents, she rubs her temples as a migraine starts to form above her eyes. “Yeah, locals are very skittish, man.” this wasn't news, this town either loved or hated them. For shit, they did control or shit they didn't. She couldn't count on one hand how many women in town would switch to the other side of the street as she did her grocery shopping. Charming was her home now but it was so damn wishy-washy.

“We can't control what people think. Charming's love and hate swings back and forth on us. It always has.” She nods, but her eyes automatically roll into her head, seems Clay just couldn't keep his decrepit mouth shut. “Be aware, son. As long as these attacks keep happening, that hate swings that far out may never get the love back.” seems she and Tig were of one mind today, she watches him lean forward, his bright eyes zeroing in on the new men at the table “You guys are all full of shit. The town knows these attacks are not on us.” Her husband and Bobby on either side of her saying their agreement. She actually snorts as Frankie says “You calling us liars, Tiggy?” Chibs having mostly kept his thoughts to himself had reached an end “No, no, what he's saying is you, you, and you don't know shit about our town. And I wouldn't be surprised if ya fucks were lying since ya would rather push a lass then turn in your fucking papers.” Frankie moves to stand but her father's hand slams him back down by his shoulder as Peg leg shouts “We know Roosevelt's gonna be up our ass.” Jax having had enough slams his hand on the table “Enough.I'm sitting down with Pope as soon as he's back in town. If it's black, it'll stop. End of discussion.”

In the silence everyone takes a breath, Juan's hand slides up the back of her cut and shirt to touch her skin. She leans into it as Chibs soothing bough almost whispers “It ain't the attacks we should be worried about. It's the coke mule. We gotta figure out that endgame.” She nods, her hands flat on the table as she speaks mostly to herself, having forgotten how quiet it was. “He's right.” and for the first time since their face off Frankie speaks directly to her “ So you want out?” she glances up at the man, she can feel Juan's hand move to grip her shirt in his fist, expecting her to fly over the table. But she doesn't, locking eyes with the man she speaks coldly “I want to stay alive. We have lost two men since this shit started. I don't want to put another of my boys in a box.” She feels her father's foot bump hers under the table, she doesn't look at him though, moving her focus back to her hands still on the table as Jax struggles to keep them focused “Look, business with the cartel does bring in a lot of cash. But it also brings in a lot of heat, man. We voted this in knowing it would be short-term. I'm also looking for other ways to earn. Steady cash without the risk.”

She arches a brow as she looks up at Jax, but Bobby's voice makes her look at him. Shocked to see a grin on his face “ It's pink, wet, tastes like sunshine.” She smirks as speaks at the same time as her father “Pussy.” She glances over at him, leaning across the table to slap hands with him as Tig says “or Italian ice. I'm okay with both.” she giggles as she plops back down in her seat, her husband's shoulders shaking as he shakes his head at Tig. Jax chuckles and leans forward on his elbows “Nero Padilla. The guy that gave us safe haven before we went to County. He's been running a legit escort service for five years. Recently got pushed out of Stockton due to our complication. He's looking for a new place to set up shop I've made a deal with him. I'm gonna be his partner. We'll tap into Cara Cara, add a little star power to her stable.” She nods, it would work, her mind already speeding off a mile a minute. She barely hears Clays say “What's that look like for the table?”

She had to admit, she was curious “Right now, I'm fronting the merger, but I want this to be a club business. I trust this guy, He's straight up about profit.” Her husband, ever the businessman ask the question on her mind “What kind of money is it?” Jax's leans back in his chair, tilting his head to look between her and her husband “ It ain't as lucrative as hauling coke. But it'll keep us comfortable. And out of Fed crosshairs. When it's up and running, take a look. You guys want in, we'll vote it.” Personally, she didn't want you to wait, this was a project she could sink her teeth into, for once Clay said something she actually agrees on “Why wait? Let's vote it now.” the look Jax gave Clay showed his mounting annoyance with the older bastard but he gave in “All right. Everyone in favor of moving into the companion business.” a united agreement sounded through the room. And she couldn't help but smile. Maybe they would finally be done with this shit “Good. We'll figure out percentages when I nail shit down with Nero.” As the gavel bangs she and Juan head for the door, her nose taking in the smell coming from the club kitchen and she can't help but peek inside. Grinning at Chucky as he cooks “Chucky, what are you cooking in there? Smells good.” the man turns to her and smiles “Just some gumbo, seafood to be exact. You want a bowl? Heard you and Juice haven't eaten lunch.” she nods “ two bowls would be nice. Thank you.”

Taking the two piping hot bowls from the man she trots into the main room. Seeing most of the guys relaxing, she spots her husband on the couch with his laptop on his lap. Moving around the majority of her grouped up men with passing grins she makes it to Juan and sets the bowl on the table in front of him as she takes her seat next to him. “What's shaking my sexy tech master.” she takes a bite of the gumbo and winches as her eyes water. Fuck that's hot. She glares as Juan smirks at the look on her face. “You need either blow on it or wait till it cools down Joy.” she swallows and steals some of his water on the table “Oh I'll blow something later.” he chuckles and leans over to kiss her jaw. “But seriously. What has you at your Keyboard?” she does as he advised, blowing on her spoonful before taking a bite as he points to the screen “I was thinking maybe Nero could use a website. Working on an example to show to him and Jax. Online reservations, bios of the girls, maybe have their talents. Since this isn't meant to look like a high-class whore house but an escort service maybe say some of them are good at public functions and for appearances. Maybe function dates and the like in the larger cities around Charming.” she nods as he talks, he had a point. Charming wasn't large but she knew Diosa had girls that were international from the blonde girl living out of state. Holding out a spoonful for Juan she comments “Not bad. You should let Jax know so Nero can give you his girls info. Get a jump on it so you can have the website before the opening Have the girls scheduled up.” She smacks her husband's hand as he tries to grab for her bowl, pointing to the one on the table. “I'm still working on the break-ins. I'm thinking about going to talk to Eli and Unser. See what either of them have. Won't ask him at the station, meet his wife through Gemma and I brought her some cookies once. Might go by their house.”  Juan narrows his eyes, pointing his spoon at his wife as he scuffs through his mouthful of food. “You just want to pick his wife's brains since your green thumb is slowly turning black.” the spoon fight that ensues was photographed and observed by their grinning club brothers. She currently has one of said pictures as her screen lock.

Hour later

She was not looking forward to this meeting with the Kings. The others were ok it was mostly Galeen who was pissing her off, she understood wanting to work with Clay because of his past relationships but to outright refuse to work with the club because Clay had been down was Childish and unprofessional. She pulled up next to barn she grins to herself as her father and Juan pull up on either side of her. Seemed not a lot has changed, after all, Walking around the van holding Miles and Clay, she stands between Juan and her father as she asks Miles about Clay. Mindset, living and the like, she might have hated the man but until Jax gave the go-ahead she would keep him comfortable…...like a lamb for slaughter. She leans next to her husband against the van, her hand moving between him and the van, letting her pointer finger hang from one of his belt loops as they waiting for Clay and Galeen to finish shooting the shit. She is broken from her silent musing when she hears Galeen’s distinct voice rise in volume “Our seniority is earned, not sewn on with cheap thread.” She sighs, pulling a Joint from her inner pocket case she lights up as Jax's steps forward. Galeen wasn't fucking with old Jax anymore, this new one was a whole new man “Hey. We got some kind of beef, let's throw it on the table.” she watches the boys surround Jax, her father and Husband included, she wasn't a fool to think this wouldn't end in a showdown, she was half Irish. She knew what was about to go down. “Don't be so sensitive, laddie.”

She almost chokes on her inhale as she laughs, maybe she and this new Jax weren't so different. “Grow some balls, you Irish prick. You got a problem with me, you tell me to my face.” she watches Galeen as he walks over to Jax, she stays silent, looking to any outside as if she could care less what they were doing. Her boys knew better, she had already counted multiple ways to kill the Kings and had long ago walked these woods to find ways out. She was her father's daughter. “ All right. I think you're arrogant, selfish, and explosive. Wreckage you caused in Belfast got a man of God and one of my dearest friends killed.” Many men had died in Belfast from what she remembered her father and Juan saying so for once she was extremely confused until Jax speaks “You talking about the priest?” she watches Galeen nod “Aye. Kellan Ashby took me out of the streets of Armagh. Saved my life.” she could understand now, some of the anger Galeen had for Jax, but the priest kept Jax's child from him. The bastard could rot in hell for that, Able was like her own child, she would have spilled holy blood in rivers for her kid too.

She can't help but smirk as Jax's voice gets that decidedly evil tint to it “Right. Gave you the Catholic blessing of the blood? Made you a gangster of Christ?” she isn't as shocked as the guys are when Galeen swings on Jax, knocking him backward into herself and Juan, her arm is stretched over his shoulder with her Glock in hand but he grabs her wrist “Down girl.” she slides her Glock back into her holster, watching Jax strip off his cut and sweatshirt, tossing them to her husband and his rings to Bobby “That's it! Now we're making progress.” she shakes her head with an exasperated grin as her husband and boys watch Jax and a now shirtless Galeen circle each other. They were all bloodthirsty shit heads, but she will admit to being just as excited to see this showdown. As smoke billows from her lips and upward she winches as Jax's fist slams into the Irish king's face with a resounding crack. As they rip each other apart, insults flying like their fists between them she finishes her blunt. Snuffing it out on the bottom of her boot she moves to stand next to Clay, watches the two she sees Clay's head turn out of the corner of her eye. Following his gaze she sees the Cartel pull up.

She locks eyes with Clay for a moment, even though both their glasses it was obvious they were locked. She scuffs and looks away “How's your half lung?” the older man gives her that wide teasing grin that takes her back to first meeting him “I'm not dead yet sonshine.” She smirks, watching the two men fighting, blood dripping from cuts in their eyebrows and lips. “not yet anyway. I haven't tried.” Her smirk grows at his weathered chuckle, she would never forgive Clay, even with her dying breath and his body long dead she would curse him. But she would always be thankful for her cut, he did give her that chance. She didn't have to like the man to respect him on some things. She shakes hands with Romeo as he moves from his hummer to her and Clays side “ I didn't know you were gonna have entertainment.” Clay smirks “Just a little Irish discussion.” she snickers, Romeo looks over at her, his eyes serious “Should I be worried?” she grin, waving her head as she lights up a cigarette “Nope. It'll all end in Guinness and man-hugs.” she walks over to her husband's side telling him to hold her bag, not answering him as he asked why, she could feel his eyes on her though, She goes around the side of the barn, tying her hair back in a ponytail as her cig hangs between her lips as she drags the hose past Clay and Romeo. Her thumb firmly on the opening she locks eyes with Phil tilts her head back to where she came from.

The bigger man chuckles and goes to turn on the hose. As she feels water slowly start up she aims it at Jax and Galeen, smirking as it takes them a minute to realize they were being hosed, both men sputter and turn their backs to her. She yells for Phil to turn off the hose, she drops it and reaches for her bag as her husband holds it out to her, she tries to ignore the heated look he was giving her. She would deal with him later, she holds out to cig to her husband to take it from her as she glares at the two soaking wet men. “Now that you to are done. I have shit to do and since you, two Irish blooded shits want a fight do it on someone else's time. Let's go.” Jax narrows his eyes at her but nods, Galeen wipes blood mixed water from his eyes and speaks “You didn't have to hose us lass.” She arched a brow “I'm half Irish, try that shit on someone who doesn't share the same temperament.” she walks into the barn, hearing Galeen ask who her blood was, but she ignored it as she got comfort sitting on one of the only surfaces not covered by ammo or hardware. Her husband files in not seconds later, a grin on his face as he leans on the haystack next to her. “You realize you hosed not just your club prez but an Irish king.” She snuffs, checking the time on her watch “No I hosed down two idiots who wanted to measure their dick sizes but were to chicken to whip it out on the fly.” Her husband's wheezing laugh makes her giggle as he leans his forehead on her shoulder since no one was around she kisses the side of his tattooed scalp. “I love you wheezy.” he lifts his head to kiss her lips. “Love you too baby.”

As the three groups file in she and Juan put some distance between them. It wasn't a fact of not wanting to be close, she wanted him in her orbit constantly, even after months of being married. But they both understood business, during business hours they weren't Juan and Joy, they were Juice and Sonshine. Romeo looks through a few of the crates before turning to Jax and Galeen “Trust you gentlemen worked things out.” as both men nod she smirks, she doubted this would be the last incident. Romeo nods, getting right down to business “Whole payment for this shipment, half down on the next. We'll haul these back today. But we're gonna need a drop every two weeks.” Jax looks her way then nods “Yeah. We can make that work.” Galeen glances at Clay sitting not too far from her. He didn't seem to get that Clay wasn't making choices anymore. “Us, too.” with that the meeting was over in minutes. As she was making her way the door to help the Cartel boys load up Galeen says “Don't you want to check your hardware first?” something in his voice was off, she slowly moves to stand with her father and Juan. Both of whom were watching the scene with confused stares as Romeo says “I trust you.” Galeen having none of it, shakes his head, moving to stand behind the large Gatlin in the middle of the barn “I insist. Open the door.”

She is yanked to stand behind Galeen along with the others, she watches in Horror as the bastard opens fire. Chibs, Bobby and Jax bikes taking it full force. She feels Chibs try to crawl over her, using her body weight she leans into him as the others hold him back. She glares down Galeen as he releases the gun turning to grin at her enraged group. But Jax walks past him with a grin “Way to close the deal brother. We will bill you for the bikes.” she lets the others follow him, walking past Galeen she spits at his feet “Coward” She watched the boys inspect the damage, feeling relief flood her when she realizes her father, Juan and her bike were beside the barn. Not in front where the rounds were fired. She feels Juan at her back, leaning into him she lets her tension release “We need to head out. I'm letting Chibs take my bike, you good with me driving yours and you ride behind?” she turns her head to give him a weary smirk “Any excuse to feel up those Abs I'll take.” She hands him the key, pressing a kiss to his slightly flushed cheek as Bobby wolf whistles, having heard her comment. She knew about the Biancone project Chucky had been on, she had helped Chibs lace the fudge, hell it was her fucking fudge they had laced.

So when they pulled up and went inside she wrinkles her nose at the slumped over man Tiggy was leaning on. “And I thought it needed to lose a few pounds.” She yelps as Juan cracks her on the ass, looking at him she sees his displeasure with her comment, she holds her hands up in surrender much to the men around her amusement. “But seriously that can't be healthy.” Her husband shakes his head, putting down the photography bag down on the floor gently as Jax looks the man over “How much did he eat?” Chucky leans around her shoulder to peer at Jax with his standard grin “All of it.” She couldn't help but grin, She made damn good fudge, laced or not. She catches the empty box as Tig tosses it to her “Chucky and I think he actually licked the box. Not that I blame him good shit.” she winks at the curly haired man as Jax moves to stand next to Juan, both their eyes focused on the slumped man “ How long do we have you think?” she shakes her head as Juan chuckles “ He's a big boy. Maybe like four hours?” she swats Juan's arm as he waves it in the passed out guys face, doing the same to Tig as he places his hand on the man's head “Stop it. Tig I know you like freaky shit but no…..just no.” the blue-eyed man pouts somewhat at her as Jax tells them to get the large man undressed.

She refuses to look and gets to work pulling out some things she had delivered to the clubhouse the other day. Feeling Tig rest his chin on her shoulder she smirks as he lifts up a set of nipple clamps with feathers and a ball gag. “And you say I'm freaky kid?” she giggles and shoves him back with her elbow. Handing the man a leather g-string in the man's size “put this on him you dork.” Once the man at least had on the g-string she turned around, walking over she gets to work on putting the clamps, Gag, and collar on him. Once that is done she grabs a chair as Juan gets to work snapping pictures, she watched him and can't help but grin. Sure the situation was fucked, but he seemed in his element behind the camera, maybe she should talk to him about looking into doing a few shots with him. For his eyes only of course. She is shaken from her thoughts of naughty photo shoots for her husband to Chuckys voice “We got something coming.” She stands with Jax, her eyes widen in shock for a moment before she realized what she was seeing. Jax was thinking on new levels nowadays it's seemed. “Salutations, gentlemen.” The taller woman's eyes land on her with a surprised look. “And gentle lady. Venus Van Dam, at your pleasure.”

She steps up past the guys and holds out her hand from the woman, giving her a genuine smile. “Joy Ortiz. Venus. Thank you for your time.” the taller woman nods and pulls her hand back “Aren't you a peach.” she winks as Jax finally gets a hold of himself, the man attacks like he hasn't seen a strong woman before “Thanks for coming.” She has to bite her lip to not howl as the woman gives her president a teasing grin “Not yet, baby. You gotta eat dinner 'fore you get dessert.” she looks at all her boys, and realizes they haven't dealt with someone of Venus’s caliber before, but with growing up openly liking any and all forms of Gender express or non expresstion as it were she wasn't that fazed. Guess she would be holding the bootlaces today, she moves to stand by her husband, rubbing his back as he looks between Venus and the large past out man. “Is he dead? 'Cause I don't do dead.” she giggles as Juan leans his head on her shoulder, his body shaking with silent laughter as Chucky, bless him, says “No, he's just fat.”

She watches Jax face off with Venus and can't help but feel like her poor prez is way out of his ballpark on this one. “Nero explain the situation? I need to know what happens here stays here”Venus never loosing her charm as she tilts her head in a distinctly feminine way “All my dates have that need, baby. But discretion ain't cheap.” she watches Jax hold up a folded stack of bills “I was told $2,000.” she leans back against her husband's chest, her head tilted back as she finally laughs, Bobby joining her as Venus gives her Prez a wicked grin “You were told right. That will do. My lips are sealed. Although I might open them up a little bit for you.” she sees Juan move his arms around her, Camara on hand and she helps him angle it just right as Venus drags her french tripped nails alone the large man's sternum to his navel as she speaks “He has been spending a little too much time at the pie-eatin' table. What am I supposed to do with Shamu?” as Jax handles that she flips through some of the pictures, nodding at Juan's work, turning her head she kisses his jaw “Looks good baby.” she lowers her voice. “Mm, maybe I should let you test your skills later, do a little naughty photo shoot.” Her poor husband, his eyes widen and he hides his flushes face into her neck, trying to muffle the groan. She is snapped from her warm, Juan shaped gazed as Jax calls her name “Joy.” she snaps her eyes towards him, seeing everyone watching them she arches a brow “Yes boss?” he nods to Venus who is watching her with a soft grin “Can you take me to the powder room peaches?” she nods, kissing Juan's stubble jaw she pulls away from him. She is stopped as Tigs voice stops them “I can give you a hand. If you need it beautiful.” she glances back to see Tigs eyes firmly on the taller woman by her side, said woman was currently taking in Tigs form and she couldn't help but smirk “It's not gonna happen tiger.” She laughs as she holds her arm put for Venus, leading her to the back bathroom. “Here you go. I'll let you change yourself. Let me know if your curls fall while changing, I'll help.”

The look Venus gives her is a soft one she doesn't quite understand, but it's gone quickly under her mask of sugar and sharp smiles “I'll be fine peaches. But if you insist. I'll call on you if needed.” It isn't long before Venus is out and she was seated with Chibs and her father as the other guys buzzed around Venus as she road the large man for all she was worth. Her father and Chibs hand long since rested their heads on her shoulder, trying to zone out of the situation they found themselves in. The old farts, she leans her cheek on Chibs head as she watches Juan and Jax talk “Did you get that Juice?” her husband holds up the camera and Jax chuckles “Oh, that's fantastic.” Her husband's wheezing laugh makes her smile at his back “ I don't know if that's the right word.” Juan kneels to get a good shot of the guys face and Venus and Jax watches him “Are you sure you can get rid of that tape?” She scuffs, making Jax turn to her with a grin. “That's Photoshop 101. I can do that in my sleep.” he chuckles and turns to Juan as he adds “Software I got? I can make this guy shit unicorns.”

Venus drops her act and turns to glare at Jax and her husband, what she says makes her choke so hard from laughing her dad has to wack her on the back “ There will be no shitting anything while I'm this close to that giant ass crack.” Once she downs the water Jax had given to her with a smirk she was ok, but her heart stops when Chucky stammers “Um guys you expecting somebody else?” No the fuck they weren't. She jumps to her feet as Chibs and her father move to stand on either side of the door, when it opens a body a little taller then hers is yanked through. Her father yanks the body to its feet and she sees it's a young man. Couldn't be maybe her age or even younger. “Holy shit!  What are you doing to Allen?” She glares down the small boy, her mind coming up blank, she was so fucking worried not even Venus could make her chuckle right now “ Charming Community Theater, baby.” she slowly slides her hand behind her back to her Glock, but is stopped by her husband's hand on her wrist “ Yeah, right. I know who you guys are. You're Sons. Yeah, what, you guys drug him or something? Huh? Allen. Damn You dudes are totally blackmailing him.”

She turns to Jax and Chibs as the older man's voice practically echos around the silent room “What do we do with this, Jackie?” she gives the kid a chilled grin “I could take good care of him.” the boy shrinks back, her husband's arm drapes across her shoulder, holding her back gently by the neck “Come on Ms.O. it's me, Devin Price. The bag boy who helps you load up when you come by the market.” She replaces the boys outfit with the green apron and white shirt of the country market and curse to herself “Your his stepson aren't you.” the boy nods and moves to step closer to her, seeing as she was the only one he kinda knew “Nah, it's cool, Mrs.Ortiz. We can work something out.” she watches the boy yank out his phone, snapping a few pictures before her father snatches the phone from him. “Ow fuck! come on, dude. I just want to use this shit against him, too.” she tilts her head, her mind working a mile a minute, but it seems Jax had his own ideas “ I'm guessing you two aren't very close.” the boy scuffs, glancing down at his overweight father with contempt “Nah, he's a total dick, man.” Venus makes a noise, causing everyone to glance her way, Joy could see she was up to something “How how old are you, sugar?” the boy stares directly at venus, well her tits anyway “Twenty-one.” She watches Venus prowl towards the boy, she had an idea what Venus was up too, but she wanted to see it in action “Mm. I do like 'em young and sweet.” Venus stands before the boy, her hand reaching down to grab him “Now have you ah. Have you ever had your dick sucked by a Southern girl with a huge cock? Oh, baby, you are in for a treat. I will make you come so hard it'll make your grandmamma wet.”

She can't help but bite down on her lip at the hazy look on the poor fools face as he stutters out “My grandmother is dead….and Dude, you're like, a dude.” She hears Venus’s chuckle from her place between Juan and Chibs “ Well, now you're catching on, young gun.” Jax seeing a chance takes it, peering around Venus at the boy he gives him a look of mock sympathy “Doesn't mean you're gay, man. We all been there.” she tries to keep her face straight as the boy looks hopefully around the room, her husband's voice barely composted as he says

“Lot of cock. Lots of slamming cock.” finally the boys eyes land on her  “But Mrs.O is a chick.” all the guys look at her, she knows she has to drive it home. She wraps an arm around Chibs waist, giving the boy a teasing grin she says “Doesn't mean I don't wear a strap on boy.” She swats Chibs on the ass, causing the Scot to glare at her when the boy isn't looking. “All right. Cool, let's do this.” Venus laughs and wraps her Scarfe around the boys neck “Pants off. Wrap this around your eyes. I like the element of surprise. Back there.” she points to the lounge area and once the boy vanishes around the corner Chibs closes in on her and pinches her side “thems fighting words lass.” She hides behind a wheezing Juan as Venus talks to Jax, taking the boys phone from him. “Now I suggest you clean up Tubby while I get some photos of this disenchanted little boy.” She smiles over her husband's shoulder at Venus “That would be very helpful my lady.” She gives Joy a teasing grin “Oh as much as I like you Princess Peach  I'm not about helping you, It's about my bottom line.” Venus turns her attention to Jax, the man nodding “I'll give you another grand.” Venus scuffs, holding up two fingers “Two. Okie-dokie.” Jax gives in with a smile, the woman had done him a solid today, in Joys book she could have what the hell she wanted. She watches Venus look at Tig that same soft look, flashes before she gives the blue-eyed man a wicked grin “You jealous, tiger?” Tiggy just smiles “Kind of.” Venus nods “I know you are.”

As Venus heads back to take care of the boy they all scramble to get the man dubbed Shamu back into his clothes, she put all the clothes they had used for the pictures in a bag she planned to burn later. She hears the shout from the back room as the boy finishes, embarrassingly early as she looks at her watch, ten minutes. Yikes. She is seated on her husband's lap when Venus comes out, waving the phone for Jax to take. As Jax fills the boy in on how things will for from here she looks over the pictures with Bobby, grinning as he chuckled at some and nodded at others. But their eyes are snapped back to the boy when he says “I would never rat on you guys, man. I think the MC's awesome.” Jax grins and pats the boy on the shoulder trying to steer him to the door “Yeah, we are. All right. See ya kid.” The boy shakes off the hand and looks at Joy, hoping she will understand “No, I mean seriously. I'd like to, like, hang out with you guys sometime.” She gives him a hard look, getting to her feet she stands before him, he has maybe an inch on her but apparently, she was still somewhat imposing despite her short stature “I'll make you a deal. Get your own bike with your own hard earned money from the market. Learn to ride the bike until it's practically second nature, take care of and dismantle and put back together said bike and we will talk. I did all of this before I was even a prospect. My dad helped me learn.” She nodded to the imposing figure by the door, grinning when the kid sank into himself even more. “But that will take forever Ms.O.” She nods “Exactly. If you want this you have to prove you can put in work. We were all prospects at one point kid.”

The boy nods, holding out his hand for her to shake she chuckles and shakes his hand, turning him by the shoulders she pushes him towards the door. Once it's shut Jax turns to give her an odd look “Why do you actually talk to him about it. He won't make it.” She arches a brow “Because it took me years to do what I told him to do. By that time I hope we aren't losing brothers. He might be smarter and better by then.” Jax shakes his head but lets it go. Venus comes up to stand between her and Jax, Jax holds out another stack of bills for the taller woman “Thank you, darlin'.” Venus nods, handing Joy a slip of paper that she slides into her cut pocket to check later, she accepts Venus kiss to the cheek. “Whenever Y'all need a little Venus love, give me a call. I'm the belle who does not tell.” she snickers at the look on Jax face as Venus plants at quick kiss on his lips. But she is more interested at the exchange between her and Tig. She can't hear what Venus says to him but she catches the sly pinch to his ass. Shaking her head she moves to grab the huge man's tie and pull as her husband, father and Chibs struggle to push him towards the desk. She screams and falls to the ground as the man seems to spring awake, shoving her to the ground to get to Tig. She hears Tig scream and by the time she is back on her feet the man is knocked out again and his mouth and shirt are covered in blood. She calms her husband as he checks her over “I'm ok. Just bruised hip.” She walks over to Tig who is leaned against the wall as Chibs checks his bloodstained ass cheek “That's gonna scar.”

TIME JUMP

Once they had gotten Tig to the shop she had kissed Juan goodbye. She needed to try to catch Roosevelt's wife before she left her plant shop, she had almost missed her, pulling up on her bike she grins at the woman “Glad I caught you, Rita.” She and Rita had known each other since Eli came to town. She had wanted to spend time on making a garden while Juan and her father had been gone, to give her then ole man something beautiful to come home too. So she had came here and struck up a friendship with the older woman. Even when she found out who the woman was married too she still came by each week to see her and the new plants in bloom. But as much as she hated how Juan put it her green thumb was turning black. And she needed advice. “Hello, Joy. I'm actually headed home. If you want to follow feel free.” She nods, it wasn't the first time she had been to the lovely sheriff's house, and honestly, she was happy Roosevelt had no clue. She did like the woman and didn't want her husband thinking Joy was out to get something from him through her.

Before long hours had passed and they were laughing on the couch “It's not funny Rita. Juan has no filter. Flat out told me my thumb was gonna kill my garden.” She couldn't help but giggle as the older woman kicked her feet as she laughed. “Ok, I'm sorry. Your husband is just funny. I see him around town sometimes. He seems like a sweet man.” she nods “Thank you. Most people just see the cut and tattoos. But all my boys are good men. Just hard lives. I just hate how the town thinks the break-ins are us. It's not Rita I swear to you. Seriously I'm out here looking for clues too. And I'm stumped.” the woman gives her a deep look, almost as if she is looking for the lie in her words before nodding. “I know your club does things on the other side of the law then my husband. But, I can see your club through you Joy. If these men are anything like you, then I believe charming is safe from direct harm from The MC.” she nods, wiping under her eyes as the tears in them flow over, it was good to be believed without having to bare your soul. She loved the women she knew through the club but she saw Rita was the except, this was someone who she could talk to about other things, not club related. She is broken from her musing as Rita runs for the bathroom, chasing after her she holds the woman's hair back as she heaves up the juice she had been drinking.

Finally, when she is done, she leans the panting woman against the tub, filling the cup by the sink up and handing it to her as she flushes the toilet for the woman. She holds her hand out once the woman seems to gather her wits, she gives her a hesitant grin “Should I say congratulations or was that from bad food at lunch?” the older woman scuffs and moves into her bedroom “Congratulations.” Joy can't help but smile widely, wrapping the slender woman in a warm hug. “I'm so happy for you.” both women pull apart as the sound of a door creeping open alerts them they aren't alone, Rita moves to open her mouth but Joy quickly slaps a hand over it. Keeping her voice low she whispers “Do you have a gun?” the woman nods behind her hand, her shaking hand coming up to point to the bedside table where Joy could also see a landline. “Take the gun and the phone. I want you to lock yourself in the bathroom and call your husband. Tell him to get home now, and tell him I'm here. If you hear me tell you to run you shimmy your ass out the small window in there and go. I'll be fine ok.” Rita nods, quickly doing as she was told while Joy locked the door and checked her silenced Glocks. Seeing Rita looking at her from the bathroom, she sees the fear in the woman's eyes as she dials for Eli. Joys Glocks aimed for the door. “Eli, please come home. Someone is here. I'm with Joy, don't ask why just come home.” she hangs up, Joy nods and moves to close the door but Rita stops her, her eyes wide and blown out “I'm scared.” She was too, but she gives the woman a shadow of a grin. “I'm not dying today Rita.” she slams the bathroom door and waits to hear the lock fall into place before facing the door. Joy was gone, Sonshine was checked in.

“Wrong House asshole.” the door to the bedroom is kicked open, and for a solid minute, the world was blurry and slow until she feels a body ram into her and it all speeds up again. She uses her Glock handle to hit the large man on top of her in the back, he knocks the guns from her hands yanking her up by the hair she uses the momentum to push him onto his back, leaning down she clamps her teeth onto the only visible skin she could see, his neck,  take a chunk out as the taste of iron fills her mouth and she yanks, taking skin with her. The man uses his foot to shove her off, scrambles away from her, holding his neck as she wipes her mouth yelling “GO RITA.” She moves to her feet to ram the man before her until she sees two others come up behind him, she realizes she lost her Glocks. Glaring them down, blood dripping from her mouth, she barely remembers what happens next, she couldn't tell you who fired.  But she remembers the pain, she remembers the smell of smoke as the gun goes off, and she remembers as it hits her in the stomach, she falls back into the dresser and down to the floor, as pain radiates she curls into herself, her bloody hand she used to wipe her mouth held over her stomach as she listens to the men “Fuck. You shoot her. Dude that's Sonshine what the fuck.” She was trying to push past the pain, they knew her. How? She whimpers as one of them pokes at her with his boot “Yeah. Come on. She won't make it as is and we need to go. Sheriff's old lady ran for it.” She listens to the sound of their footfalls on the carpet as they run. She hears noises not long after, the sound of yelling, handing holding her face, she opens her eyes and sees nothing but blurry shapes as tears stream from her eyes, but she knows Rita's voice, knows the floral smell of her perfume. She is safe, she smiles, one word falls from her lips as she finally gives into the darkness around her “Juan.”

Juice POV

His body couldn't stop shaking, even as Hap drove them to the hospital, Tig and Chibs had been in the clubhouse when Roosevelt came by. All he kept hearing was Joy was shot, her face flashed before his eyes and he was already out the door before the man could finish, Hap on his heels. Making it to St.Thomas he runs inside with Hap while Tig and Chibs find a spot, he almost slides into the front desk he is running so fast “Joy Ortiz. She was shot.” the woman looks through the system “Room two twenty.” he nods and hits the elevator. The guys would catch up, him as hap must look half insane, bobbing and weaving through the late night staff. Finally, he comes to a screeching stop outside Joys room, flinging the door open. What he sees makes his legs give out, his wife, his beautiful wife was sat up talking to her doctor, looking a little worse for wear but alive….She was alive. He feels hands on his arms as he stares at her, seeing the look of pain on her face as she tries to stand and come to him he crawls to her. Not caring who sees, he presses his face into her sweatpants covered thighs as she sits on the bed. His arms wrapped tightly around her as he cries, she was cold, he could tell by the way she slides her hands down the top of his shirt, her hands felt like ice and he cursed the hospital temp. His wife didn't like the cold.

Once he could finally release his grip on her legs enough to look up at her he saw her wet, red-rimmed eyes on him only. He leans into her fingertips as they trace his ear to his jaw “Oh Juan. I'm ok. Did Eli not tell you the whole story?” he gives her a watery laugh, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand “He started off with you were shot. Didnt get much else out since we were half way here by then.” she laughs, but the flash of pain and the way she grabs her side makes him stand. Finally realizing her doctor had been watching the scene unfold with a shocked expression he holds out his hand “I'm sorry. I'm her husband Juan. These men are her father and uncles.” The doctor shakes his hand and opens his charts “Perfectly alright. As I was telling your wife, she was lucky. She was wearing a vest that stopped the bullet, but the force from it being close range did leave a nasty bruise.” his eyes glance at her as she lifts the hem of the hospital issue sweatshirt and hisses through his teeth. The bruse itself was a dark purple, it was an inch or two above her navel, and spread outward like a sun drawing. Looking back at the doctor he points to his wife “Anything else?” the man glances over the charts. “We got blood from her mouth but it turned out to be one of the men. She took skin and blood when she bit him.” he heard Tig chuckle, he ignores the man as he walks over to give his wife a firm kiss on the head. “She will mostly be sore in the bruised area and her lower back, the man rammed her pretty hard. Other then that we gave her pain meds to take, she had already taken one so she won't be up much longer and other then not letting her drive while she is on them that's all we have.”

He nods shaking the man's hand as he makes his way out, taking his wife's face in his hands he looks her over. She looks bone tired and a little doped up already. “I'm so happy your ok baby.” he chuckles when she pokes out her lips, trying to get him to kiss her. He gives in when she yanks him close by the bottom of his shirt, feeling a hand on his shoulder he moved out of the way as Hap finally had enough. He let's Joy and Hap have a moment, pushing the guys from the room he rubs his forehead.  “Ok, Chibs can you pull the van around? Wanna get Joy home but I need to fill out her release forms.” Chibs gives him a mock salute and heads for the elevator. Turning to Tig he looks over his shoulder and narrows his eyes “Can you track down a wheelchair? I don't want her walking in pain and doped up.” Tig is off like a hound dog. He heads for the half moon shaped nurses station, he gets to work on filling out the paper for his wife when he feels a tap on his shoulder, he expects to see one of the guys but is surprised to see Eli and his wife Rita. He holds his hand out for the woman “I don't think we have meet properly. I'm Juan.” he almost loses his footing when the woman bypasses his hand to hug him, his arms by his side he looks at Eli to see the man with red-rimmed eyes, but he takes the man's nod and hugs the slender woman back before pulling back. “Um, thanks. I guess.”

Rita nods “Joy saved me. She didn't even think, I don't know what would have happened had she…...I'm pregnant and….” it made sense now. He watches Eli slide his hand over his wife's stomach, Joy must have known. He shakes his head “My wife is tough. If she had it in her head to keep you and your kid safe you were going to be safe no matter what she had to do.” he sees Eli turn to look down the hall, and he can't help but grin when he sees Tig, Hap and Chibs fighting over who gets to push his wife in the wheelchair, Rita heads towards his wife, leaving him and Eli alone. It's awkward as hell, but Eli breaks the silence “I see now. That I was wrong.” Juan looks up at him in confusion, but Eli isn't looking at him. He is focused on his wife as she talks to Joy, holding one of her hands as she does “Joy wouldn't have stood in front of a bullet, to save my wife and child if she thought Rita wasn't actually in danger.” Roosevelt turns to face him “I still think the club is a key but maybe not a willing one. Your club or I need to stop this Juice. Before someone's wife doesn't make it.” As Joy reaches them he can tell the pills have kicked in by the hazy look in her eyes as the way her head keeps rolling from side to side. Moving Tig from the handles he takes over, leading down he kisses the top of her tangle curls “Let's get you home.”

Next Morning

He had woke with a start, dreams of Joy not making it, of having to bury his wife had his body drenched in sweat. But looking over her sees her inky black curls a riot against her pillowcase and some curls even making their way onto his pillow. He leans over to press a kiss to her temple, he heads to the bathroom to catch a shower, by now he knew the others had filled in the guys and since church wasn't until noon he still had a few hours to make breakfast and get Sonny out in the backyard. Or that had been the plan until he felt his wife's small hands slide around his waist from behind as he showered. Bringing her around fro behind him he took inventory, now that she was stripped of clothes he could see the full extent of the damage, the bruise had gotten larger, much to his dismay, it's looked like a purple sunburst above her navel. Looking up at her he sees her looking off to the side, shame and embarrassment plain as day on her face and he scuffs, grabbing her chin he forces her to look up at him. “Don't fucking do that. Don't let this shit make you embarrassed to be seen by me. You saved a pregnant woman last night, you stared down three men from what you told the doctor said, even took a fucking bite out of one. I don't know a son now who would do that and survive. I'm in awe of you.”

He watches her eyes close, tears mixing with the water. He let her have her moment, his hand working her shampoo through her long curls, she carried so much inside of her body. So much love, fire, and brilliance. But with those good extremes comes bad ones, doubt, low self-esteem, a temper hotter than hellfire on a ahair then trigger. But he wouldn't have her any other way, he was halfway through washing her legs while he let her conditioner sit when he felt her hand on the top of his head. Finishing what he was doing he stands, looking down at her he sees her eyes seem lighter like they had been before all this. Pressing a kiss to her lips he sighs “I love you, Joy. Finish up in here. I'm going to let sonny out and make breakfast. Want some fruit?” she smiles up at him, making him chuckle and lean in for another kiss. “Ok I need to go before I start something.” he swats her naked ass, dodging her swinging arm as he escapes. He cleans off as he watches her peek around the shower curtain with narrowed eyes that promised retribution...he couldn't wait.

He knew Joy took more time then he did in the shower so he headed for the living room to get some early shit done but stops dead in his tracks, seeing Tig and Chibs on his couch, both passed out cold. He back peddles to the spare bedroom seeing a large lump under the covers he guessed was his father in law. Ok…..fruit wasn't the only thing he would be cooking it seems. He saved Joys for last, she liked her stuff cold when she ate so he set about mixing the batter for pancakes and put the hot coffee on knowing the guys would rise as the smell of food and drink filled the house. Not twenty minutes later three silent men drank and ate before him as he guzzles down his own morning mix, he was used to the looks Tig would give his morning green mix. So he ignores him while he cuts up some watermelon and pineapples for his wife. Her bottle of cold brew already in the fridge, All the men in the room freeze when Joy makes her appearance, her wet curls making her hair look twice as small as it normally was, she was already dressed for the day in dark jeans and an old sons shirt. Her cut was hanging by the door next to his, he watches her press a kiss to each men's cheek before coming to stand at his side.

Joy POV

She can feel them watching, she knows they are worried but she is ok. She knows how bad it could have gotten. Finally having enough she put her fork down and stares them all down “Guys I promise you I'm not going to explode. I'm ok. It was scary as fuck I was shot point blank. But I'm not dead. Can we please move on and try to find these assholes, I have ideas on who it might be but I want to check a few things first.” at least they had the sense to look somewhat chastised, taking the last bite of her watermelon she puts her stuff in the sink and opens the back door letting sonny inside from his little roll on the morning grass. Looking over at Juan she grins “Go get dressed, we have church soon.” she heads into the living room, letting the others finish their food she lays out on the couch and let her thoughts wander, she knows exactly who it was at the house. Sure she could take this straight to Jax, but she needed proof, she needed Unser and Roosevelt. Sure she had Frankie by the balls, or the neck as it were, her teeth would put him in that house. But Peg and Gogo would be harder. Frankie could have been flying solo, and that still doesn't explain why they did this, why fuck up a club they were a part of.

She jerks when someone lays their hand on her shoulder, she hisses as she curls into herself, making the pain in her stomach flair. She refused to take those damn Meds unless she was fucking crying, she slaps Tigs hands away as he kneels down before her to fuss over her, taking deep breath the pain dulls and she looks at the worried man before her. She sighs with a painful grin. “Don't scare me Tiggy. Tensing hurts.” the man nods, his pretty blues taking in her face and she sees he wants to say something. She tilts her head “Come on Alex. Don't hold back on me now.” he chuckles, his fingers coming up to playfully knock her chin. “Don't scare us like that again kid. Don't know what a few of us would do without you.” despite his teasing tone she knew he was serious, she knew he wouldn't be the last of the men to tell her today. She expected nothing less, as much as she says these men are her boys she never stopped to realize she was one of their girls. She leans forward, kissing his forehead as nods “Promise to not fly off without any of my boys close. Deal?” she holds up her pinky, wiggling at him he rolls his eyes but locks his pinky with hers. She turns when she hears a rough chuckle, seeing Chibs watching them, a grin on his face “I see, he gets a secret handshake but I get my ass felt up. I see how it is lass.” the scene her husband walks in on has him grinning most of the day, it was good to see him so happy, after the terror he must have faced last night.

Hour Jump

She expected the concern, but she hadn't expected to be swarmed by a group of grown ass men, spitting out questions like the cops she shoves past them all saying they would talk later, she was tired of retelling the story,  she took her seat between Bobby and Juan, her hand over his as it rested on her upper thigh, she looked up to see Jax watching her. “Go about business and I'll tell you later.” the man narrows his eyes but nods and begins church “I pressed Pope on these home invasions. He swears it ain't coming from him. He's gonna dig into the street, see if he can turn up some new intel.” all eyes zone in on Tig as he speaks up, his eyes off to the side “Jax. You believe this guy?” she understood his hesitation, this man they were currently in bed with is the same man who burned his daughter alive. He had every right to be worried and uncomfortable “Look, we all know who this guy is and what he's capable of. But what he's doing now suggests he's telling the truth.” she glances at Juan and her father, seems she wasn't the only one confused, just ask she was about to ask her father beat her to the punch “ Like what, taking half our muling cut?”

Jax's takes her father's question with patients alot of people didn't have “Like offering to double it. Pope can push another 30 keys east through Reno. We talked to Luis. Galindo can easily up the supply. Now, what that means for us is we'll haul 60 keys back from AZ. Pope gives us the 50 he was gonna take that's another hundred on top.” She feels Juan stiffen next to her, and she understands. Both of them had been against this from the very start, and now to see him wanting to go deeper but hearing him talk of leaving it the other day had her more confused then she would like to be. She doesn't even glance at Bobby as he speaks “This guy realizes he can make a lot more money if we're an ally.” she saw the science, get the money they need now and split, but what else would they lose on the road to the end of this shit. She rubs her eyes with the hand not holding Juan's as Clay speaks “You know I've seen guys like Damon Pope before; I know how they operate. They make you offers too good to pass up, they line your pockets with easy cash, and before you know it you're wearing shackles, calling him Massa.” She nods, as much as Clay stepped on any and every button in her body he did speak sense. “He is right Jax.” she opens her eyes to see looks of surprise on her club brothers faces “I hate Clay, but I am tired of the shit muling had given us Jax. Two dead brothers and I almost died last night and this shit gets us deeper. But maybe you see something I don't.”

Jax's face, for a split second, loses the hard look and she sees her friend, not her president as he reaches over to pat her hand she had laid on the table “We're getting out of the coke haul. That's a promise. But for now, for me, this makes sense. Let's vote for it. Everyone in favor?” Once again she and Juan stood firm, no. She was done with this, but she couldn't help but feel hurt hearing her father agree. But she had long ago told herself to never hold votes against the person. Everyone had their reasons. With it, evening even at six to six Rat slammed the hammer firmly into the yes court by seven to six. Once again they would be muling, only a larger haul this time around. Jax slams the hammer down as the others move to leave he grabs her hand “You and Juice stay. I need answers.” she nods, leaning back in her chair she watches the others leave. Once the door is closed she glances at Jax “Where should I start?” she watches him rub his face as Bobby grabs the seat on his left that Chibs had vacated. She takes comfort in her husband as his hand rubs up and down her thigh. “I went to dig up some info from Roosevelt. I and Rita had gotten somewhat close while I was doing stuff in the garden of mine and Juan's house. I didn't know Roosevelt was her husband until he showed up at her shop one day when we were talking.” She leans forward her elbows on the table as she combed both hands through her still somewhat damp hair. “Anyway, that night I caught her at her shop, went home with her to wait for Roosevelt. And she got sick, told me she was pregnant, then we heard noises, her not being half as paranoid as I am I keep her quiet, get a gun and phone in her hand and force her to lock herself in the master bathroom. Not five seconds later I'm being rammed into by a man, felt like fifty tons of asshole slams me onto the floor. I use my Glock, smack the back of his neck, barely seems to faze him. Smacks them outta my hands and yanks at my hair, I do the only thing I can, us his own momentum yanking me up to shove him onto his back. I see the skin I go for it, I can fucking taste this assholes blood, Jax .”

She knew tears were streaming down her face, Juan had his forehead rested on her shoulder. She knew this was hard for him to hear for the first time, hell even Jax looked a little misty. She swipes under her eyes and continues “He knocks me back, I hit the dresser hard. I stand and go to charge at him but two more show up behind him. I know I was fucked, but I also knew as long as they shoot at the vest I could fake it enough to look like I was actually shot. I wiped my hand over my mouth so I had some blood in case, I'm actually not sure who shot me. I just remember the impact and the way my body crumbled. I curled up and used my hand to put blood on my shirt over the wound. Lucky they only poked me and didn't turn me over, but they did speak.” all three men lean close to her, her eyes off in the distance as she remembers one of the last things she heard before passing out “You shot her. That's sonshine dude what the fuck.” She scuffs, her hands moving up the table she stares at her hands “Yeah. Come on. She won't make it as is and we need to go. Sheriff's old lady ran for it” she locks eyes with Jax. “They knew my Club name, Jax. Sure it's on my cut for the world to see but no one calls me that but the people in this. And only when it's business time.” Jax stares her down, his head slowly shaking. She slams her hands down onto the table “I don't give a shit if you don't believe me, Jax. I expected as much but I will find proof. I know it was Frankie. I know that voice and I know Peg was there too which can only mean Gogo was the third. Be in denial all you want. But know I'm watching them.”  

Time jump

After her blow up she barely had time to calm herself before Bobby, Chibs, Jax, Juan and herself were off to mee the other presidents and leaders. Black, Brown, Asian and the sons. She watches the men face off from her spot with the other, Juan had broken their rule of keeping his hands to himself in front of the other groups. She understood he needed to touch her, hold her to know she actually was ok, telling them about the break-in had been hard but it had lifted a weight as well. She felt lighter, and now that she had time to calm herself and put her feelings aside she understood Jax's denial. He didn't try to make her seem a liar, he was doing his job as President to be partial. So now the ball was in her court to gather evidence. Leaning into her husband she watches from behind her shades as the Mayans president talks alone with Jax before walking with him over to the rest of the sons. She gives the older man a grin “Mirando bien Marcus.” ( Looking good Marcus) the older man chuckles "Escuché lo que te pasó. Quería asegurarme de que la princesa de Sam Crow estuviera tan viva como dicen los rumores.” (I heard what happened to you. I wanted to make sure the Sam Crow princess was as alive as the rumors are.)

She chuckles, using the hand not in Juan's to flip him off. “Estoy bien. Tenía un chaleco cuando sucedió. Nada más que un desagradable moretón para demostrarlo. Gracias por su preocupación." (I'm fine. I had a vest when it happened. Nothing more than a nasty bruise to prove it. Thanks for your concern.) The older man nods, looking at Juan over her shoulder before looking back at Joy with with a teasing grin “Tu viejo todavía no entiende el español, ¿verdad?” (Your old man still does not understand Spanish, right?) All she does is smirk as Juan speaks to Marcus, his chin rested on her shoulder “Te sorprenderá lo rápido que aprendo. " (You'll be surprised how quickly I learn.) Marcus chuckles, smacking Juan on the shoulder. Pressing a kiss to Joys cheek she watches him head off. Speaking over his shoulder as he goes, switching back to English, she knows it's meant to piss Jax off. “Let me know when you're ready to switch sides. I'll take you both. Happy too.” she giggles as Jax glares at the man's back, but he locks eyes with her and for a second he grins. Maybe everything would be ok between them after all, everyone's eyes glance to the side as a car pulls up, she sees it's August Marks. Watching the sharply dressed man approach then they all crowd around Jax as the man holds out a piece of paper to Jax. Before turning to her with a grin “Good to see you up and moving Ms.Ortiz. Mr.Pope sends his well wishes.” She nods, not altogether sure how she feels about Mr.Marks, but Damon Pope can choke on his well wishes.

Jax looks down at the paper “Is this my name and address?” August turns his attention from Joy to Jax “Yeah. But not the one you asked for. Can't shake nothing lose from the home invasions. Street doesn't know shit.” she wasn't surprised, she already knew what was happening. But she kept her mouth shut, she didn't want to stir up shit like she had an hour ago. She watches Jax face as he looks the paper over again, she saw the shadow fall over his eyes as he read the paper over again before looking up at Marks “Mr. Pope thought this might buy some goodwill. Prove his intentions are above board and looking forward.” without a word Jax and Chibs head for the Cars Mr.Marks had arrived in, her and Bobby share a look before following. It isn't twenty minutes before they pull up to around a house since Jax, Chibs, and Bobby had taking to ride with Marks she and no Juan were in the second car. They pull off after a few moments and her phone rings, seeing it's Chibs she picks up “The fuck is going on Chibs? What are we doing here!?” she knows she sounds angry, hell she is. She didn't like being out of the loop. “It's the guard Pope got to kill one of us. He is the one who killed Opie Lass.”

The phone drops from her hand, Juan grabs it and talks into the phone. She couldnt hear anything, the man's face now burned into her head, Opies face swims to the front, cold, lifeless, the closing of the lid to his coffin. She feels hands on her face and she jerks, her eyes locked on her husband. “You don't have to do this baby. Stay here with me. Let the guys do this.” looking out the window she realizes they are in the parking lot of some chicken place. She sees Tig is already here, how long was she under? Looking back at Juan she leans her forehead against this. “His face haunts me. I have to do this, I have to see it through.” Juan's hands grip the back of her head as he sighs. Pulling back he presses a kiss to her forehead, his lips press to her skin he speaks “Do what you have too. Then come home and let me love you. Ok?” she nods, kissing his lips quickly before getting out of the car. She left Joy with Juan for safekeeping, walking up next to Tig she silently holds up a hair tie for him, the man had worked next to her long enough to know she wanted his help tying back her hair.

As he did that she held out her hand for a black hoodie even as Jax stares her down “You sure your up for this? You are sore.” she arches a brow, gives Tigs hand on her shoulder pat as he finishes “I have a promise to keep.” Jax didn't ask, but he knew it was something Opie made her promise so he left it alone. Bobby comes to her side, his hand rubbing her back “You gonna help me keep them in line Sonshine.” She nods, looking into the duffle Tig brought she also grabs the black fanny pack she knew he packed for her. She had multiples of these laying around for moments like this, with how technology was advancing she tried to keep up with all of it. She kept what she called her evidence fucker kit in these packs, bleach, hydrogen peroxide, and rubbing alcohol. And tweezers to take anything from under the nails, as long as this club was her home no one would be caught by DNA while she breathed. Hooking the back around her waist she glances at Tig who looks at the pack and rolls his eyes. Flipping him off she grabs her seat between him and Bobby in the back she doesn't shake him off as his hand grips hers. She knows this means something to all of them, she knew every man in this wagon felt responsible for Opie's death, she felt it too. So today wasn't about deep-seated revenge, not for her anyway. It was about keeping Jax's head about the waters he seemed to be swimming in, she would do that...for Opie. Once they got there no one spoke, they were all of one mind anyway. She followed behind Tig as Chibs leads them in, all guns silenced and hoods up.

Watching Jax face down the man who put Opie to death had allowed herself to lose focus, she heard the cocking of the shotgun before she saw wife, as she gets two shots off she tackles the woman head-on, using her gloved hand she backhands the struggling woman while the others run after the guard. She feels the pain in her abdomen but ignores it as she lifts the now unconscious woman and sets her in one of the dining room chairs. Panting she holds a hand over her stomach as she waves as the hand at Tig and Bobby “Tie her up I just need a second.” she leans against the counter, watching the woman regaining consciousness she growls as the woman lashes out, her nails catch Tigs neck. Grabbing her silenced glock she hold it to the woman's temple, giving Bobby enough time to slap duct tape on her mouth. Kneeling behind the woman she reaches into her pack and quickly sprays all three chemicals on her bloody fingers, once they were clean she quickly cleans under her nails and puts her stuff away as the guys come in. Looking at Tig she smirks “And you said my pack was dumb. Just saved your ass Trager.”Bobby chuckles as she moves to Sit on a chair near the wall, watching them throw the man near her feet she smirks as he glances up at her, she knew her face was new to him. Standing she plants Herself in front of him, her gloved hand gripping his hair in a fist “Can I play with him?” she forces him to look up, making him see his wife tied up and gagged before him before releasing him. Moving to stand with Tig by the wife.

Bobby narrows his eyes at the wife before turning to the rest of the guys “She is a problem.” she locks eyes with Tig, seeing him staring at the woman she nods, both of them pull their silenced glocks out and fire into her head making the others jump. Tig stares off into the distance as the other curse, she stares Ithem all down until Jax nods “She is coladoral damage. For Opies murder.” She watches Bobby take her old seat, his eyes on the man currently sobbing on the floor “What do we do with him?” Jax glances at Tig, his eyes the coldest blue she thinks she had ever seen before. “Find a Pipe…..” as Tig Leaves her side to finishes his search, she gets to work untying the wife, heading outside she grabs both the tarps they had in the back and brings them inside, Chibs helps her carry out the wife and by the time that's done and they are both back so is Tig. The next five minutes are blurry to her, she watches as one of her closest friends and president beats a man's head in with a snow globe, she knew any sane person would feel regret, disgust, empathy for the life that her friend snuffed out. But she felt nothing, not even the peace of mind she had expect to get knowing he was gone. Maybe it was because the ones who actually physically killed him were still out there. She was on autopilot as they cleaned up and put the guard's body with his wife in the back of the wagon.

She felt nothing until she saw her husband, sat on one of the high walls of the parking garage, she stares at him as he stares off into the distance, his Camera from the other day at his side making her wonder what he had taken pictures of. As if he felt her eyes on him he turns towards her, watching the broad, toothy grin meant only for her change his face she slowly makes her way towards him as he turns around to jump off the wall. Without much pause, she walks into his open arms, for a few moments neither spoke. Even as Pope pulls up she doesn't release her husband and he doesn't release her, the feel of his hands rubbing up and down her back, his heart beating against her cheek. She feels her center of gravity shift back into focus, the scent of his cologne brings warmth to her body again, tilting her head back she gives him a bone-tired smile, her smile growing as he stares into her eyes until their foreheads touch, the feel of his nose nudging hers she can't help but giggle. Their bubble is burst when she hears a loud whistle, both of them turn to see Tig tapping his watch, she nods and turns back to press a quick kiss to Juans turned cheek as he glares at Tig, using her hand she turns his focus towards her. “Don't glare. You will get wrinkles.” she snickers when he rolls his eyes, patting her on the ass he releases his hold on her reluctantly and hand in hand they walked to the guys.

Juice POV

Getting back from Oakland had been long and tedious, neither of them cared to make dinner so once everyone and everything had been done for the day they grabbed a to go bag from the diner in town and headed home. Joy and Sonny had long since passed out next to him on the couch, he always found it funny that no matter how big Sonny continued to get, the pup continues to lay his whole body vertically on top of you. And since both Joy and himself were stomach sleepers he found it fucking hilarious when he would go to wake Joy and Sonny would be laying on top of her. He hoped he would grow out of it because as it was Sonny was looking like he was going be a barrel-chested dog, and that wasn't light in the least. He is about to reach over to wake his wife and the snorting pup on her back when the knock on the front door makes him and said dog look up, putting his hand on the dogs head he makes sure he isn't going to bark and wake Joy, looking at the clock he sees it's only ten, so he grabs his gun from the coffee table and walks to the door, peeking out of the peephole he relaxes his grip on his gun when he sees it's just Roosevelt. Sliding his gun into the waistband of his sweats he looks back at Sonny “Watch her.”

He knows the dog might not understand him but the way sonny rests his head back on Joy's shoulder makes him think otherwise as he heads outside. Leaning against his own front door her eyes the man currently before him, gone was his uniform, and if he were honest he looked like he hadn't slept. “Keep it down Joy is sleeping. What do you need Roosevelt?” the man sighs, his hand coming up to scrub the side of his growing stubble, he holds up a manilla envelope to Juan. “This is an ongoing investigation into the home invasions. That is everything we have so far.” he grabs the envelope from the man's hand, he knows what this means if the man gets caught. Looking between Roosevelt and the papers in his own hands he nods “Thank you. I know this could look bad on your record if you had been caught. I promise you this shit stops once Joy sniffs out this lead she has, and we can all go back to you chasing us down and trying to destroy us.” Both men chuckle, Roosevelt holds out his hand to Juan who takes it with a firm grip and shakes it. He watches Eli walk to his hatchback, but before he gets all the way there he turns back to face Juan. “Can you tell Joy thank you? I have my wife and child still. And I know she is the main reason for that.”

Juan grins, hearing the door behind him open he feels the small hands of his very sleepy wife slide around his sides to rest on his stomach, her cheek resting on his back. He lays a hand over her laced ones on his abdomen as he speaks to Roosevelt. “She is the main reason a lot of things did or didn't happen. Haven't you heard?” Roosevelt shakes his head and gets into his car, turning his wife's arms he looks down at her eyes, seeing them barely open he kisses her forehead before leaning down to grip the backs of her thighs. Pulling her off the ground he carries her like a child through the house as he turns off the game he had been playing and all the lights, locking the doors he ushers his small family into the master bedroom he lays his once again sleeping wife down and covers her up before sliding in next to her, he sets the envelope still in his hand on top of his bedside table for her to check out tomorrow. He wondered himself what was in that envelope, whatever it was he hoped it was enough to show Jax that Joy was right and that it would give him and Hap to go ahead to do what both of them were always willing to do for the curly-haired woman across from him…...kill for her.

Hope you liked it. see you next time