#Fun fact: False God is my least favourite song in Lover

[justwritethatdown]

Ahm. .39 please? Thanks!*

39. “Please come home, I miss you”

First of all thank you so much for sending me this, it was my first prompt ever! I really hope you like it, it came out way longer than I expected 

WARNING: this was written listening to ‘Lover’on shuffle, so read it at your risk

Mostly based on Taylor Swift’s ‘False God’ but honestly it’s inspired by Taylor swift in general 

Words count: 4809

Rating: I’d say a light M, there’s no smut but sex is mentioned and implied many times, also there’s a bit of cursing…

We still worship this love

Beca was on her first (of many, hopefully) Europe tutor. After signing with DJ Khaled two years before, her career in pop music took a leap and she had published two albums already, the first one took her around the US for a sold out tour that set the ground for her second one to be a worldwide success, which lead her to Paris, Nice, Rome, Milan, Berlin, Dublin and currently London. She had still two cities in the UK before moving to Holland, Spain and finally head back home, home where her girlfriend was waiting for her.

Since they got together Beca and Chloe had spent more time apart than in the other’s presence; the two best friends had very recently found the words and the courage to talk about what their feelings for each other really were and Beca had to leave for her tour almost immediately after that.

-

Beca didn’t really think about the consequences when she wrote a painful song about pinning / unrequited love, way too detailed for Chloe or any of their aca-friends to have any doubts on who the person she wrote it for was, and the release of said song as the first single of her newest album lead to their group chat blowing up for a day straight and a sobbing redhead showing up to the front door of Beca’s apartment in the West Village. Beca feared the worst at the sight of her friend that upset about her feelings, but she soon found out that those feelings were the same ones Chloe had bottled up for as long as the brunette did. 

They spent the night together, kissing and exploring each other’s bodies, learning how to please one another, discovering how it felt to be with a woman and how it felt to be with someone they both had spent years fantasizing about. In the morning, when Beca woke up curled up to Chloe’s naked back and realized it wasn’t just another one of her dreams, she felt an happiness she’d never felt before, it was like she’d been asleep for this whole time and she was just now seeing the daylight.

She felt the redhead stretch in her arms and turn to face her with a soft, calm smile “good morning” she whispered before gently kissing her “I love you" answered Beca after their lips parted, which caused Chloe to kiss her again, more firmly. It wasn’t the first time any of them phrased her feelings like that, they shared many ‘I love you’s during the night, but it still sounded new to them and made both of their hearts burst out of happiness. When their kiss came to an end Beca pushed back a little to be able to look at Chloe, the golden morning light illuminating her face and body made the petite girl think she didn’t want to see anything else for the rest of her life. Just Chloe.

The group chat was still blowing up, ignored from the both of them until then. “Oh my God, when are they going to calm down?” groaned Beca and Chloe giggled shifting under the sheets to reach for Beca’s phone on the nightstand before going back to snuggle into the brunette, she made sure to cover every ‘indecent’ part of their bodies before snapping a selfie of them and sending it to the Bellas chat “DUDE!” gasped the brunette grabbing her phone but it was too late, the photo was delivered and their friends were already starting to completely lose their minds about it. “Why did you do this?” she whined staring at her screen filling with celebrative messages and a ‘FUCKING FINALLY! Pun intended 😏😏 ✂️✂️✂️✂️’ by Stacey that made Beca’s mouth fall open and go incredibly dry, while she was blushing in horror and embarrassment. “To answer to all their questions at once” explained Chloe taking the buzzing device from Beca’s hands and abandoning it somewhere on the bed before starting kissing along the brunette’s neck making her inhale sharply “yeah, o-okay but… we better put this away" she observed escaping from the redhead’s arms and putting her phone back on the nightstand “…unless you want to send them a video too" she joked with a fake annoyed voice that made Chloe giggle and move to straddle the brunette “Nope. This is just for us" she purred pushing her back on her back, looking at her with the sweetest sexy expression Beca had ever seen. She’d never wrapped her mind around the fact that Chloe could be so incredibly hot and adorable at the same time, it took her breath away.

“I have to take off next week” sighed Beca sadly; they were still laying on her bed on top of each other, Beca’s right ear near Chloe’s navel while the fingertips of her left hand traced random paths on her abdomen “I know…” huffed Chloe, gently stroking dark locks of hair.  

Suddenly Beca sat up straight startling the other girl a little “we can do this, right?” she asked panicking “hey…” whispered Chloe sitting up and cupping Beca’s cheek “…I’ve waited too long for this to let it go now, we’ll make things work" she assured her “I want to be with you and a couple of weeks apart won’t stop me" she added “it’s almost a month Chlo… with different time zones and-“ Chloe cut her off with a kiss. Beca was always the pessimist between them and the redhead was used to having to convince her things were gonna be alright, but this time she felt like her life depended on that. “Listen to me, do you trust me?” she asked “always” answered Beca without losing a beat “then would you close your eyes and just jump in this with me? I know it’s gonna work, I feel it" she begged her touching her own chest “can you do it for me?” she added swallowing, it was barely whispered, so quietly that Beca wouldn’t have heard it if Chloe wasn’t basically sitting on her lap. The brunette delicately wrapped her fingers around her wrist, gently tugging at it and lacing their fingers together “I would die for you" she assured looking into the watery blue eyes in front of her with such a seriousness that let Chloe knew she really meant that, it made her chest rise and a hint of a smile appeared on her face “please don’t ever do that" she breathed out resting her forehead on Beca’s.

-

“We were crazy to think Crazy to think that this could work Remember how I said I’d die for you? We were stupid to jump In the ocean separating us Remember how I’d lie to you?”

Things went downhill pretty quickly when Beca left. The two girls were just in the honeymoon phase of their relationship and only the fact of not being able to be all over each other the whole time was enough to drive them crazy. To worsen the situation Chloe had her finals at vet school and Beca had those goddamn paparazzi following her everywhere.

The petite girl was always very closed up and kept her personal life super private, she never thought about officially coming out because it was nobody’s business and she couldn’t see why that mattered. She told her friends she was bisexual a few years ago and was pretty sure her father always knew. None of them made so much of a deal about it, as it should be, but the most obsessed fans were speculating on her sexuality and constantly talking about the fact that choosing George Michael’s ‘Freedom! ’90’ as a debut song was a pretty clear statement and her not mentioning a man in the single nor in the whole album just increased their theory about her being gay. Some of them even guessed the song was about her former college friend and co-captain Chloe Beale, stating that they always had good chemistry during the Bellas’ performances, but they were wondering why she wasn’t on tour with her (like if she had nothing else to do with her life). So yeah, everyone was up in her business and she hated it. They were constantly taking pictures of her making up stories about her and Theo or her and some member of her security team or her and some random people she didn’t even know.

Beca and Chloe were constantly fighting about nothing; their conversations usually started with the right foot, but as soon as one of them said something that wasn’t exactly what the other wanted to hear things escalated quickly.

“are you still or already awake? These time zones are messing with my brain. Anyway I just got to the hotel room after the concert, I really wish you were here with me right now" lamented Beca through the phone “how’s the study going?” “ugh it’s so boring, please come home, I miss you” whined Chloe in response “baby…” sighed Beca heavily “you know I can’t do that, there’s a contract and… and even if there wasn’t one, there’s people who’s been waiting to see me for months, they look forward to this! I can’t let them down like t-“ “you mean you don’t want to” interrupted her Chloe. Beca wasn’t that keen on the idea of having screaming people who worshipped her and would do anything to see her, but she felt the sense of responsibility that came from all of that and she didn’t want to disappoint anyone. After a pause Beca cleared her throat and replied “no… no I don’t want to, that would be rude and unprofessional.” “of course you don’t” stated the redhead “why should you? You’re living your best life, sorry for being so boring that I have to study to be a vet and can’t be your groupie” “excuse me? My what now!? Where did that come from?” exclaimed Beca outraged.  

“And you can’t talk to me when I’m like this Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you You’re the West Village You still do it for me, babe They all warned us about times like this They say the road gets hard and you get lost When you’re led by blind faith Blind faith”

After not getting a response she scoffed “you know what Chloe? I can’t talk to you when you’re like this. Call Amy or Flo… see whoever’s in New York and go get some fresh air because these fucking finals are driving you insane" “yeah sure, blame it on my exams, on the fact that I’m stressed out, say what you want. The truth is that our lives are different, you should just break up with me… I’m just a burden for you, you should be out there enjoying your celebrity life" Beca knew Chloe wasn’t serious about that, that she was just trying to provoke her for some reason, to scare her maybe, and in all honesty she succeeded. Only the thought of not being with Chloe, to lose her, knocked all the air out of Beca’s lungs ‘Chlo, you know you’re everything to me, don’t say things like that please’ was what she wanted to say, but instead what came out of her mouth was “bullshit! Stop throwing your fucking insecurities at me Beale, it’s not my fault if you think that of yourself” and then hung up.

She knew she screwed up, if Chloe was insecure about their relationship her job was to let her know how solid it was, how deep her feelings for her were, not to yell at her like that, but Beca was like a wild animal (a rather small one, like a raccoon or one of those flying squirrels) and as such she tended to bite when bothered. Fighting with Chloe was the absolute worst, no matter who ‘won’ the fight, she always ended up wounded or at least bruised, it pained her to hurt Chloe just as much as it did when Chloe hurt her. She knew it was the situation they were fighting, that they didn’t really mean any of the things they said during their fights, but it hurt all the same.

Aubrey warned them, she flown all the way to New York, sat them down one evening before Beca left and told them it would have been hell, that they would have been frustrated most of the time, that Beca would have hated the tour and Chloe wouldn’t have passed her exams as brilliantly as she could have. But they (Beca actually) fought her about it, explaining to her how what they had was stronger and different and that they would have been okay, that she knew that. Chloe’s heart felt so full seeing her girlfriend, who was so pessimistic about it only a couple of days before, so sure about them; just because Chloe promised her that morning they spent in her bed. And she believed her, she believed her like people believed in God, with no proof, just blind faith.

“I’m not saying that I have doubts about your feelings for each other, I saw this grow before my own eyes, I’d be a fool to doubt that. I’m just saying that this is the worst way to start a relationship. You should wait until the tour is over and you’re both in the same city again" stated the tall blonde standing in front of them in a power pose with her hands on her hips “Aubrey, I feel like I’ve been waiting for my whole life. I can’t wait anymore.” At that confession Beca made looking into Chloe’s eyes Aubrey let her arms fell on her sides with a sigh “okay. But don’t say I didn’t warn you"

“But we might just get away with it Religion’s in your lips Even if it’s a false god We’d still worship We might just get away with it The altar is my hips Even if it’s a false god We’d still worship this love We’d still worship this love We’d still worship this love”

The night after the fight Beca was a wreck and her concert wasn’t as good as the others. When Chloe read about it on the online gossip magazines she felt terrible. She hated it when Beca was upset and knowing the reason was her, destroyed her. She wanted to support Beca and celebrate her and be there for her, not bring her down and less than anything she wanted to set her free like she told her the other night. When she knew Beca had arrived in Manchester she sent her a text

Hey babe, give me a call when you’re settled? Promise I won’t pick up another fight. Love you xx (♡C)

Love you too (-> ♡C)

Was all Beca replied, she was tired from the sleepless night and still grumpy from the fight but she appreciated the message and didn’t want to make things worse by ignoring it or replying something stupid. Chloe took her reply as a win, at least the brunette still felt like letting her know she loved her.

Chloe let out an heavy breath running her fingers through red locks, she couldn’t wait to tell Beca how sorry she was and how much she loved her. The sudden buzzing of her phone made her jump and then smile “hey b-“ “I was an idiot” Beca’s voice through the phone interrupted her and she raised her eyebrows in surprise “I don’t know why I always do this” continued the brunette “maybe it’s some sort of self destructive behaviour or maybe the trauma from my parents’ divorce” she scoffed “but anyway… I tend to break the things that I love, but I won’t do that to us. I-I don’t wanna hurt you, like… ever! It’s the most painful thing for me to do. And I don’t want to lose what we have” she stopped to take a breath and Chloe took the opportunity to jump in “Becs that’s… that wasn’t your fault, I’m the one who should apologise for being an idiot and saying stupid things” “Chloe… you and me, that’s my whole world. That’s what I should have told you instead of snapping at you okay? I should have told you that I count the days and the miles that separate me from you and even if this life is crazy and exciting, I don’t want it if I can’t share it with you" “Beca…”  “and I am so proud of you for graduating at vet school baby, don’t ever think I’m not, okay?” she added with a soft voice “Beca I love you so, so much. I don’t… I don’t know what to say y-your speech was…” sobbed the redhead “you don’t have to say anything I just needed to make sure you knew exactly how I feel" “I do. I know how you feel because it’s exactly how I feel Beca, I-I love you more than anything in the world and I just want to make you happy” Chloe wasn’t crying anymore but she still struggled to keep her words even “you do, more than anything” answered Beca with a smile.

They talked for hours until Beca had to leave to get the last things ready before the sound check “have fun baby, I love you" “oh I will, Amy is coming to see me, she asked me three VIP passes and I’m not sure what to expect from her… oh by the way she said she’s streaming the whole thing live on her Instagram… so you can try to watch some of it maybe? Though I know it’s a crazy time for you so if you’d rather sleep is okay, don’t worry" “I wouldn’t miss it for the world” said Chloe before hanging up.

“Hi guys, thank you all for coming! Uhm… I know most of you have the setlist for this and I promise you, I’ll sing all those songs, but tonight I wanted to open with a song for my girlfriend” at that the fans went crazy, some of them screamed so hard that Beca feared for their vocal chords. When the crowd calmed down a rearranged version of ‘The Only Exception’ by Paramore (that Beca had mixed in half an hour before the concert) started playing.  

After the concert Beca found a lot of texts from her friends who had apparently been watching Amy’s live:

BECA THAT WAS ACA-AWESOME OMG SO ROMANTIC!!! 💕💕💕😻 (Legacy)

I love you. You’re worth the risk too baby ♡ call me when you can, I’ll be awake (♡C)

I am proud of you Mitchell! And for the first time, I’m glad I was wrong ;) (Posen)

OMG Beca did you just came out to the world like this!?!? You’re such a rockstar!  (Jesse)

YO GIRL, the concert was amazing, as usual 💥💥💥 (CR)

Someone is whippeddddd 😜😜😜😜 proud of you, babe 💋 (Stace)

Love wins!! 🌈🌈🌈🦄🦄🦄🌈🌈🌈 (Jessica?Ashley??)

Wow Beca, amazing concert! Didn’t expect that first part 😍 (Flo)

Love wins!! 🌈🌈🌈🦄🦄🦄🌈🌈🌈 (Ashley?Jessica??)

Hey I saw the live, it was great!! (Benji)

👏🏼👏🏼 💪 (Lilly)

She only quickly replied to Jesse and Stacey before calling Chloe immediately

Wow dude, I was actually gonna call you tomorrow about that… I mean, I didn’t want to erase our story or anything… that song was a bit extreme… (-> Jesse)

Shut up bitch! (-> Stace)

“Hey baby, you should be sleeping” “how am I supposed to sleep after that!?” asked Chloe, her voice was bubbly and Beca could hear how wide her smile was, it made her smile too. To make Chloe happy was what she was in this World for, she was sure about it “that was the most romantic thing anyone ever did for me! I don’t know what I did to deserve you, honestly” “must have been something bad…” joked the pop star “so you’re not mad, right?” she checked even though the answer was pretty obvious “mad? Beca, the only mad I am is mad for you" “cheesy” laughed Beca “said the girl who just dedicated a love song to me during her own concert” scoffed Chloe “look babe, I gotta go, Amy decided we have to go get drunk to celebrate… in the end the one pass was for her date, he’s not that weird this time by the way, and the third one was for a dude she paid to hold her phone the whole time so she could enjoy the concert, can you believe that?” asked Beca laughing again “…I mean yeah, that’s totes something she would do" replied Chloe giggling “go have fun baby, I love you" “love you too, goodnight”

All cool. I know what we had and I know she’s something else, she always has been. I’m happy for you (Jesse)

🤐 (Stace)

Thank you Jesse (-> Jesse)

-

After that night to her concerts started to appear pride flags and Beca had to admit it felt nice, but what really got to her was one girl in Spain that stopped her on the ‘Ramblas’ while she was visiting Barcelona “hi you’re Beca Mitchell, right? I don’t wanna bother you I just wanted to thank you for what you did in Manchester. I am a lesbian and to know that my favourite female singer has a girlfriend makes me so happy, you have no idea how much this means to me. You have given me the courage to come out to my best friend and to my brother” Her eyes were watery as she spoke and Beca just looked at her speechless “representation matters, and I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart” she concluded and Beca, for the first time in her life, felt the need to hug someone who wasn’t Chloe, maybe it was because the girl must have been thirteen years old or maybe because she was so considerated to respect her space and not asking for a hug or a photo, but she decided that it was almost certainly because of what she said, because she’d never thought about being a role model or someone that made others feel like they belong, that there is nothing wrong with them “uhm, you want a hug?” she asked screwing up her face cause she knew how awkward she sounded “oh ohmygod really?” answered the girl over the moon “c’m here" she said hugging her.

-

Beca couldn’t wait to be back home, before leaving she had given Chloe the keys of her apartment and she knew she would have founded her there waiting for her. What Beca didn’t know was that Chloe had organized a little ‘welcome back’ party with all the Bellas, only Amy, Flo and Stacey could make it but it was still something.

The pop star didn’t see that coming and she had to admit it was a nice surprise to have a small reunion with some of her best friends after being far from home for so long, but despite their presence in her apartment and the scare they gave her screaming “surprise” when she opened the door, the first thing she did was to go hug Chloe, who met her halfway. The two girls hugged for a long time whispering how much they missed each other and how happy they were to be in the same room again. After a while Beca pulled back to look at her girlfriend, still holding her waist while Chloe had her arms wrapped around the brunette’s neck. They were looking at each other with so much love and happiness in their eyes that the room was frozen, their friends were standing there looking at them with proud expressions, and then  there was Amy who was taking pictures of them, the two girls didn’t notice any of it, they were too busy staring at each other’s lips licking or biting their owns, until Chloe made the smallest move towards Beca, knowing that the girl didn’t like pda she was being very careful to any sign that the brunette made to understand if she was okay with kissing in front of their friends, even if she really wanted to. While Chloe was worrying about that Beca crashed their lips together and the two girls shared a passionate kiss that ended only because  the ‘woop’s and wolf whistles coming from Amy and Stacey were starting to piss Beca off.

Only when she was satisfied with how she greeted Chloe, Beca went to say hi to her other ‘guests’. They spent the evening drinking and chatting, but even if they were socializing with their friends Beca and Chloe were never far for too long, they would lean over the other to pour a drink or brushed their hands on the other’s back passing her while moving around the living room or less subtlety going to sit on each other laps every time one of them was chatting on the couch. At dinner time they decided to order Chinese food and eat it sitting in circle on the living room floor like they used to do in Barden (even if Beca’s dining table was more than big enough for all of them). This time Chloe was sitting between Beca’s opened legs and the brunette was leaning towards not to be cut out of the conversation. It wasn’t the best position to eat, but the two girls needed to be as close as possible. After she finished eating Beca wrapped her arms around Chloe and leaned her forehead on the taller girl’s shoulder yawning “girls, I think this is our clue” stated Flo starting to collect the food boxes off the pavement “oh no leave it, I can take care of that" said Chloe starting to move “nonsense” stopped her Stacey helping Flo “I’m not throwing you out guys, I’m just-“ another yawn cut her off “just very tired” she added rubbing her eyes “don’t worry shawshank” said Amy suspiciously gently “we know you can’t wait to have us out of the way” she added with a wink and a way exaggerated bite of her lip that made Chloe laugh “I think I’m gonna take her to bed tonight, but there will be no funny business involved this time" she said still laughing and Beca just hummed, too tired to form words.

As soon as the girls left, Beca and Chloe were laying in bed curled up together. “I’m sorry there’s no funny business… I really want it to be but I am literally dying” apologised Beca snuggling closer to the warm body beside her “hey, it’s totes fine. I’m happy to just be able to hold you right now, I don’t need anything more than this" assured her Chloe before kissing her forehead.

The next morning Beca woke up much earlier than Chloe, due to the jetlag and decided to wake her beautiful girlfriend up by going down on her. Chloe appreciated it so much that they stayed in bed until noon having the best sex Beca ever had. They were about to get up when both of their phones buzzed, it was the group chat. Amy had sent a bunch of photos of them hugging and kissing writing ‘BOOM’ under the last one

Oh come on Amyyyy! Now I have to worry about paparazzi even in my home? WTF ( -> Bellas💕)

Beca was nervous. They had just finished lunch and she decided it was a good time to ask Chloe to move in with her. She tried to dry her sweaty palms on her jeans before hugging her from behind while she was washing the dishes “stop this" she told her placing a soft kiss under her left ear “I’m gonna finish it later, you don’t have to do it all" she added letting the tip of her nose brush on the shell of that same ear “okay" shivered Chloe drying her hands before turning to hug her and kiss her slowly “so, I was thinking…” started Beca biting her lip nervously “I know this might sound crazy but… why don’t you move in with me? You’ve been basically living here already and I know you love this place! Maybe this is soon but… we didn’t really follow the rules since the beginning so… why start now?” “yes" “I mean we’ve lived together already and it only made me fall harder for you if anything, I know all your habits and I learned to live with them and you did the same with mine and-“ “Beca. I said yes” repeated Chloe with a wide smile “yes?” echoed Beca excited “yes” whispered again the redhead.

They were lying on the couch and Beca was staring at one of the pics Amy sent them, the one that captured the moment right before their kiss, it was the quintessence of happiness “can I post this on my Instagram?” she asked turning the screen to let Chloe see it “I would love that" answered the redhead with a wide smile “is this about what that girl told you in Spain?” “Mhm” nodded the brunette “and this would make those stupid paparazzi stories stop” she added and then stopped to think “but it would put YOU on their radar… are you sure? Do you really want to live in this fucking fishbowl with me?” “baby, I want to live with you I don’t care about the paparazzi” she assured her and Beca kissed her before posting the photo with the caption ‘finally back into her arms 😍’.

[la-paritalienne]

since someone asked you to do a song by song review of nfr, would you do the same with lover?💗

ooohhhhhh gladlyyyyy! thank you so much for asking. 

i’ll be honest, there’s some songs in this album i’m completely obsessed with and some others that i don’t really like, so the review it’s bound to be less flattering than the one i did for nfr, but also i guess more interesting?? also i’m pretty sure that by listening again to the songs i’d ‘crossed out’ i’ll like them more – it’s normally like that with taylor’s songs to me, they get stuck in my head after a while. soooo, let’s get to it.

i forgot that you existed: lyrically it’s quite goooood, and it represents such a distinct feeling, ‘so nice’, as she says. i also really love the beat! strangely the thing i like less and that makes the song one of those that i’m indifferent to is the chorus. a cute opener but could have been amazing w a more poignant chorus, maybe? fave lyrics: in my feelings more than drake

6,5/10

cruel summer: KILL ME. everything in this song is just perfect. the sound, the lyrics, her voice… is gives me chills everywhere and brings me to tears. like it could be one of my favourite songs of 2019 and definitely destined to become an everlasting obsession of mine. fave lyrics: fever dream high in the quiet of the night you know that i caught it and of course i scream ‘for whatever it’s worth, i love you ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’

100/10

lover: pure beauty. it starts sounding like a slow dance, but it also contains the iconic ladies and gentlemen part which adds a touch of fun + the the swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover, all’s well that ends well to end up with you. ughhh. it’s hard to pick a favourite line bc the lyrics are so sweet, pure, straight to the heart and i’m crying again soooo. a fave. fave lyrics: i’ve loved you three summers now honey, but i want them all. can i go where you go? can we always be this close?

10/10

the man: the beat is cool and the lyrics are super meaningful (ok she’s a white and privileged woman but still… every woman knows what it’s like to always feel like she’ll come second if a man is running too). overall it’s not my fave, again, something about the chorus i think? still a very good one. fave lyrics: let the players play, i’d be just like leo in saint tropez

7,5/10

the archer: the lyrics are really piercing, although the song didn’t stick w the first few listens… i’m listening again as i type and it’s growing on me. still not my fave, but the words are kind of blowing my mind. fave lyrics: who could ever leave me darling? but who could stay?

7,5/10

i think he knows: a fun one, cute and easy. i like the verses more than i like the pre-chorus and chorus. fave lyrics: want to see what’s under that attitude

7/10

miss americana and the heartbreak prince: this one transports me to somewhere i’ve never been. whether is veiled political commentary or a high school fairytale gone slightly sour, i adore it. fun fact: the ‘okay!’ makes me think of avril lavigne from like… my days. this one has got that sound that just gets under your skin, i feel. big yes. fave lyrics: voted most likely to run away with you

10/10

paper rings: a mega jam but also super romantic and kinda moving underneath the funky beat. the only downside for me is when he says ‘baby boy’, it makes me cringe so much gjfjfkgkgk, a shame bc otherwise this would be one of my favorites. i mean, it still is i guess but that’s my two cents! fave lyrics: i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

8/10

cornelia street: this hits hard. like… she tackles that specific kind of emotion and it feels relatable even if it’s technically not something you’ve lived but like… i guess it makes you empathise or project and just… fills your heart. fave lyrics: and baby, i get mystified by how this city screams your name, and baby, i’m so terrified of if you ever walk away 

9,5/10

death by a thousand cuts: i have to admit this is only my second time listening to this one, bc it didn’t really struck me the first time, but let’s see… the refrain is super cool and the imagery is quite strong. still not the biggest fan, i have to say. fave lyrics: i take the long way home, i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say “i don’t know”

6/10

london boy: nothing really special about this one to me. it’s catchy tho! fave lyrics: they say home is where the heart is, but that’s not where mine lives

5,5/10

soon you’ll get better: sosososo sad and definitely moving, but not my cup of tea tbh! fave lyrics: i’ll paint the kitchen neon, i’ll brighten up the skyi know i’ll never get it, there’s not a day that i won’t try

5/10

false god: YES TO EVERYTHING. it’s one those love songs that you feel if your throat more than anywhere else. i mean, i do at least. it’s so subtly sexy and definitely not all about sex. every word hits the mark. i still do it for you / you still do it for me babe. the production, the sound… the saxophone… perfect. fave lyrics: but we might just get away with it, religion’s in your lips, even if it’s a false god

10/10

you need to calm down: look… the beat is nice, the lyrics are kind of meh (at best) but i appreciate the meaning like, the effort? i just think there were stronger singles that could have been chosen, but this one came with quite the strong marketing and video etc and at least the lgbt community was involved so, fine. fave lyrics: can you just not step on our gowns

4/10

afterglow: adore. i relate to this a lot, bc i always think i ruin my relationship by idk, talking too much, talking without thinking? but this one makes me feel like… true relationships (whether it’s love, friendship, fam) are meant to last beyond miscommunication. like, this is still very much of a love song, not a breakup song. i’m obsessed w the chorus and the bridge so so much (the bridge is the kind of thing i’d scream crying tbh), but anyway, fave lyrics: this ultraviolet morning light below tells me this love is worth the fight

10/10

me!: again, kind of a weak one to me, although not unjammable. fave lyrics: and when we had that fight out in the rain, you ran after me and called my name

5/10

it’s nice to have a friend: the purest. it’s so simple i don’t feel like listening to it 24/7 but it’s quality, imo. fave lyrics: call my bluff, call you ‘babe’, have my back, yeah, everyday, feels like home, stay in bed the whole weekend, it’s nice to have a friend

8/10

daylight: poetic, hopeful, positive. beautiful. perfect closer. fave lyrics: (the whole refrain, but): i’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night, and now i see daylight 

9,5/10

let me know what you think, of course ♡

[ghostsapphic]

lover: track by track review

on friday lover finally dropped! for the past few months i’ve been enjoying the hype and the singles that were released beforehand. i felt like this album wouldn’t let me down the way reputation did, even though i definitely like rep a lot more now than when it was released. but while reputation was an album that I had to really grow to like, lover had me hooked from the first listen. i decided to write down how i feel about every song and then end it with my favourites and least favourites.

i forgot that you existed: this song is a really good intro to the album. it tells you that taylor has grown to a place where she can finally not care what people think of her. i love the lyrics of this one, but i think the music could’ve been a lot better. it seemed very repetitive and i think the chorus should’ve been switched up a little more. though after a few listens i decided that the lyrical content more than made up for that. 

favourite line: “lived in the shade you were throwing til all of my sunshine was gone”

cruel summer: initially i thought this song was way too over the place for me, but now after a few listens i’ve come to really love this song. it gives me a very specific image in my mind. it’s also quite unlike all the other love songs on this album. most of them are about very wholesome peaceful love, but this one gives me a chaotic summer fling vibe.

favourite line: “and I snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate” and “I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?”

lover: lover is one of the most beautiful songs taylor has ever written, period. more than ever this album shows the importance of just existing with your partner. it paints a beautiful picture in my mind. i’m so glad that taylor has finally experienced the kind of love she’s been dreaming of for so long.

favourite line: “and there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear, have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?” and “you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me, and at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover”

the man: taylor tackling sexism is so overdue. the lyrics are very real, but i also love the synths and taylor’s vocals on this one. this definitely isn’t one of her songs that i would listen to endlessly on repeat, but i still really like it!

favourite line: “they'd say I played the field before I found someone to commit to, and that would be okay for me to do, every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you”

the archer: this is probably the best song on the album lyrically. taylor gives us a window into her insecurities and fears about life, and she doesn’t spare any punches. the only flaw this song has is the repetitive instrumental, but i do like how it gets more intense towards the end.

favourite line: “i cut off my nose just to spite my face”, “i never grew up, it’s getting so old”, “and all of my heroes die all alone”, and “cause all of my enemies started out friends”

i think he knows: i absolutely love the chorus on this one. it also has one of the best baselines on the whole album.

favourite line: “it's like I'm 17, nobody understands, no one understands”

miss americana & the heartbreak prince: this is one of her smartest songs. there’s a double meaning to everything she says; it could be about her image, or it could be about politics in america. every word she spits out is fiery. i’m so glad she didn’t let go of all of her anger and darkness after reputation.

favourite line: “american glory faded before me, now I'm feeling hopeless, ripped up my prom dress, running through rose thorns, I saw the scoreboard and ran for my life” and “it's you and me, that's my whole world, they whisper in the hallway, “She's a bad, bad girl””

paper rings: this song is so adorable! i heard some people describe it as a more upbeat version of lover, which is totally true. i can imagine this becoming one of my go to upbeat taylor songs.

favourite line: “went home and tried to stalk you on the internet, now I've read all of the books beside your bed”

cornelia street: unlike most fans i really don’t get this song. in fact i find it kinda boring. maybe it’ll be a grower but for now there’s nothing really memorable for me.

favourite line: “and baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name, and baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away, I'd never walk cornelia street again”

death by a thousand cuts: I have very mixed feelings on this one. i think it had the potential to be one of my favourites but the piano part on the verses is so annoying. it completely ruined the song for me for me. plus, it has really good lyrics too! i wish i liked it more but for now i don’t think i’ll listen to it much.

favourite line: “i look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandelier's still flickering here, cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not”

london boy: i really like this song. it’s very lighthearted and even funny at some points. it also has an amazing outro (i love the way she sings “i fancy you”). though i do get why some people are hating on it. it has super stereotypical lyrics, but i don’t think they’re supposed to be taken too seriously.

favourite line: “but something happened, I heard him laughing, i saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent”

soon you’ll get better (feat. the dixie chicks): THIS SONG!!!!!!! as the most vulnerable song on the album i can’t imagine myself coming back to it much since it’s so heart wrenching. but other than that the lyrics are beautiful and i love how it’s a lowkey collaboration. all of their vocals are really good too.

favourite line: “i'll paint the kitchen neon, i'll brighten up the sky, i know i'll never get it, there's not a day that I won't try” and “and I hate to make this all about me, but who am i supposed to talk to, what am I supposed to do, if there's no you?”

false god: this song is extremely sexual. i kinda can’t believe some of the lyrics to this song. it’s super groovy and has great lyrics. i love the sax parts too.

favourite line: “and I can't talk to you when you're like this, staring out the window like I’m not your favourite town, i'm new york city”

you need to calm down: i really loved taylor getting political on this album. i absolutely love her sarcastic attitude in this song. it has some of the most memorable lines of this album too. that combined with the upbeat instrumentals makes this one of my go to uplifting taylor songs.

favourite line: “sunshine on the street at the parade, but you would rather be in the dark ages, just making that sign, must've taken all night”

afterglow: i can’t describe why i like this song so much. i absolutely love the echo-y instruments, and they make her voice sound so good! the lyrical content is also really good, but i think the song sounds so nice already that i can’t really focus on that. i have a feeling that this song will end up becoming one of her more slept on songs. i haven’t seen heard many people talk about it, but i hope i’m wrong.

favourite line: “hey, it's all me, in my head, i'm the one who burned us down”

me! (feat. brendon urie): i think it was mainly the hype that drew me to this song at first. i definitely don’t like it as much as when i first heard it, but it’s still a fun bop, and I love the collaboration. and there is no song on this album that could’ve got me as excited for the album as this one did. even now it still brings a smile to my face.

favourite line: “but one of these things is not like the others, like a rainbow with all of the colours, baby doll when it comes to a lover, i promise that you'll never find another like me” and “girl, there ain't no i in team, but you know there is a me” (and no, i don’t care how cheesy it is)

it’s nice to have a friend: i think in any other context this song wouldn’t have been as good as it is here. it’s very simple since it’s almost like an intermission song preparing you for daylight. i probably won’t listen to it much outside of the album, but it certain serves its purpose. i also like how different the instrumentals are from the rest of the album.

favourite line: “something gave you the nerve to touch my hand, it's nice to have a friend”

daylight: WOW. what a great way to end the album. it’s not as exciting as the rest of the album, but it’s lowkey and introspective. i think this song is what makes this album a cohesive story, more so than any other album she’s made before. sidenote: reputation and lover is the most iconic two part story ever and you can’t change my mind.

favourite line: “maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down, maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town” and “i once believed love would be burning red, but it's golden”

FINAL THOUGHTS

top 5 favourites: lover, miss americana & the heartbreak prince, cruel summer, afterglow, you need to calm down (honourable mention to i forgot that you existed and daylight)

top 3 least favourites: cornelia street, death by a thousand cuts, ME! (though i don’t dislike any of these songs at all! this album is just that good)

also i wanna try ranking taylor’s discography with lover, but it’s super hard for me since i think it’s very mood dependent. fuck it, i’ll try anyway.

speak now > fearless > lover > 1989 > reputation > red > taylor swift