#in my ​spuffy feelings again

[raisedbythetv89]

THEY BOTH HAVE SMILES ON THEIR FACES AND LOOK SO AT PEACE WHILE CATCHING THEIR BREATH (buffy literally spike figuratively) BETWEEN PASSIONATE KISSES IM NOT OK 😭

They just had the gut wrenching horrors that was losing their memories with their minds violated by willow’s magic again only to gain back every single painful memory all at once crushed once again by grief, depression, loneliness, and pain and Buffy has just run after Spike after initially giving him the cold shoulder - snatching him into the kiss and kissing him like it’s her last night on earth and the first breather they take - foreheads and noses pressed together with soft smiles on their face.

These are the looks of 2 people who belong together and when they are together everything is right in their world. They feel safe, happy and at peace 😭🤚🏻 the mirrored hands on each other’s biceps - Buffy holding on for dear life with one hand on his face and his on her waist IM INSANE ABOUT THIS MOMENT.

Buffy has enough excuses/denial with Giles leaving and Willow’s betrayal to excuse her actions in this moment and because they haven’t slept together yet this is her most passionate we see her without self-hatred and judgment she projects onto spike as an undercurrent so it’s just ✨them✨ no spells no rage just raw emotion pouring out of both of them and this is what we get. Passion and love in a crowded place no less. They haven’t even HUGGED since Buffy has been brought back, Spike cradled her hands that first night, she would have held onto him riding his motorcycle to and from the bar and he catches her arms to keep her from burning and they kiss but it’s a very stage kiss all gone with the wind which has the implication of a performance a show. Feelings are the entire motivator this time around even though it’s in a crowded room they’re tucked in a dark corner. It’s before the walls and the abandonment wounds and the fear and self judgement and it’s just the sweet moment in time of just the two of them alone in a crowded room completely wrapped up in each other pouring all these feelings they’ve been holding back for really more than a year into THIS KISS and I’m sobbing. The half light half dark lighting and it being equally half and half on both of them just 😭

[andthesunwillalwaysshine]

the i believe in you spike speech i am not crying you are but also the you are a better man you may not see it but i do... i do (the voice as she repeated i do my heart can't do this) i love s7 spuffy

[userslayer]

Hi! Can you recommend me your favourite spuffy fics? Any genre is welcome I desperately need the void after finishing bingewatching Buffy 😭. Thank u xx

hi! thank you so much for giving me an excuse to share my favorite spuffy works! if you read any of these, please come back and lets talk about it! okay here's the list:

these are all completed on ao3, most of them contain smut, most are oneshots, no deaths/cheating/nothing too dark, some toxic typical s6 stuff but they all have happy endings or hopeful open endings cause i cant stand them being sad!

do you wanna break bread with me?

this is fun, dawn comes out as bi to spike which spirals into everyone realizing they are queer, its pretty touching and domestic.

High Stakes

sexy fun poker smut, no plot, just vibes

Service the Girl

s6 smut but with complicated feelings

(Unintended) You Could Be

there's something about spuffy and roadtrips that hits so right plus parenting dawn, s5 set

i could've been your girl (we've all been here before)

post s7 buffy running into drusilla, starting a relationship and then spike joins them (i might be the only person ever into this pairing)

What Remains

again spuffy roadtrip, sad one cause s5 but they lost the battle and everything, but still have each other

honey and milk are under thy tongue

smut but with complicated s6 feelings plus spike reading poetry

nothing safe is worth the drive (follow you home)

i highly recommend EVERYTHING by this author, my favorite spuffy writer ever. this one is a s5 roadtrip escaping glory and its domestic, funny, sad, sexy and hopeful, felt like watching an episode (i seriously love this one but plz check them all out)

i will follow you into the dark

this one is by the same author but it deserves its own mention. its heartbreaking but healing at the same time, just the most beautiful spuffy work ever

Let's Get Lost

OH THIS ONE, s2 buffy runs away but runs into spike who has a little problem. its so so in character, captured so well both characters and their dynamic where they are all each other have and absolutely hate that

The Choice

s6 dynamic, spike starts seeing a buffy that loves him, its a choice whether he'd rather have that or the real buffy, its pretty sad but u know, they always find each other

Centering

spuffy roadtrip! s5 set, he comforts her through mourning and feeling helpless

What it is to Burn

post everything, long distance relationship that buffy can't stand anymore

What She Deserves

another roadtrip fic, i know so surprising. buffy heals by herself, runs into a spike that felt like she did in 6, she's the one helping him now with an actual healthier dynamic where they both heal

[jjmorelikeotp]

Okay so I am watching BTVS for the first time in my life & I'm currently on season 6 E 14, and one thing I really really love is how Spike is just so...comitted.

With Angel, I personally had the feeling he was grieving the person he could be, all sad and sappy in his misery that kinda clung around him all the time (ik we're calling spike a drama queen but. THAT MAN? Depressed himbo vibes. No offense.) Even though he had a soul, there was this feeling of self pity in him - and it makes sense considering the fact he probably knew that one true moment of happiness would turn him back into a monster, and that is rly depressing tbh.

Does not change the fact that Buffy being underage when being with him is totally absurd and predatory, there, I said it.

He is kind of the big scary monster guy and sometimes she does seem like a normal 16 year old, and by that, naive or simply, young.

It made me feel like she was prey, not gonna lie.

It is what stopped him from truly comitting to Buffy. I mean yeah, their love was pure and they definetely are soulmates in some way. They truly affected each other's fate.

But this is where Spike is different than Angel as well. He is truly COMITTED to what he's doing, he is all in for buffy. Like, the way he offers to make money for her when she needs it? That offer is NOT a deal-kind-of-offer. He truly wants to help her and it is so casually because he already is in full partner mode, in whatever way she needs. Offering comfort when she has to work a double shift (yeah by fucking outside, mkay, just the spuffy way ig) like that because he is actually afraid she will lose her sanity? Even though they drive each other insane? Yeah these scenes are not talked about enough.

In that same scenario, Angel never even would have showed up. He would have waited in front of the building after Buffy ended her shift, maybe. He never even offered to be in her life like that, while both of them found a million excuses for it. But Spike does not. He just simply does stuff that COULD be the solution if he ever even thought of them being a problem.

And I think that is also why he's so pissed about Buffy going on and off about him - to Angel, she seemed so comitted, but to him, he just does not seem to be able to.

And again, it make sense, but I also think we don't talk enough about the fact that Buffy did indeed kill Angel, when it wasn't even necessary as in "he was soulless and a monster" anymore. Even though she loved him. But only when she had a really really good reason/purpose.

So one thing that might be also pushing her away from spike is the thought of having to do that again, and desperately trying to find the purpose without being able to.

He makes her choose wether she wants to be the prey or the hunter in this. On purpose. To show her her options and her power because she never really got to experience both sides / perspectives with Angel OR Riley.

So while she tries to figure out 1. Her reason why she should kill him (which should be a very very valid one so she can bring up the power to do so) 2. Her life's purpose in general, he just ... delivers purpose, not to her, but as in, her being the purpose. That's what he acts like and That's what she can't handle. Yes, she is the reason he is trying to change, but also, he puts her in the Position of being the purpose of him doing that.

Showing her the self responsibility and ability to be her own purpose and make her own decisions. (After her friends all kind of screwed up that kind of SELF responsibility.) He really does man up in this show, and like I said, these are just my thoughts watching it for the first time (did not see angel the series yet).

He is also holding her accountable even though he has a soft spot for her, and she is not used to that. She treats him like a man, yes, but he treats her like an equal as well and always has. She is used being looked down upon by adults or the council, enemies, blablablah, also her friends who "saved" her earlier this season, or being the superslayer hero and leader who has to do everything. She is always in positions. Even with angel, she was, it kind of stopped when they broke up but even then, he treats her like she does not know SHIT. Something is standing between them and always has been, and while Angel kind of used that as an excuse to keep distant and keep their walls up, Spike uses these exact walls as a reason or challenge to tear them down. Spike never acts like things are not his fault even if they are horrible, he just simply accepts his dark side while still having a normal one, with passions on tv and card games and whatever. He *subconciously* takes responsibility even before having a soul, for stuff he did, he doesn't blame his vampire side or whatever for it.

I think in subtext, Buffy always had a slight commitment to angel, as in "maybe, one day, it can still happen" while angel cut off all those hopes for himself (not his desires, maybe. But his ... solution oriented search or smth) as we can see when he visits her at her mom's funeral.

And one other reason why Buffy is so terrified of that whole Spike thing is because it makes her stop that hope for angel or resolve that feeling of being owned by (her feelings for) him.

And don't get me wrong, Spike is kinda possessive too, but as I see it he is trying to commit to a relationship where she can own herself and that is what terrifies her truly.

(That's what we see him do with drusilla from the beginning)

You understand what I mean? If you got thoughts on it let me know!

[ok-boomerang]

if those two don't kill each other, Sokka might lend a hand

a zutara drabble

HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS TO MY DEAREST @hneyteacup. I wrote a birthday drabble inspired by one of your faves, SPUFFY. I however have never seen Buffy and in fact I just found out the fate of Spuffy approximately 30 seconds ago lol, BUT STILL, this drabble is inspired by them, for you 💕 HBD!!!! ILY!

--

The others might buy Zuko’s little transformation, but not Katara.

She knows exactly how sympathetic he can make his sorry life seem, all in the pursuit of Fire Nation supremacy.

So that’s why she’s been interrogating Zuko in his room for the past 15 minutes. She’s made him promise he won’t fire bend at her, and she did not feel a tinge of regret when he frowned and said he would never, sounding almost hurt.

Even so, Katara stands at the ready in front of him, hands sheathed in water just in case Zuko decides to break her rule.

“So you’re telling me you saw the soldiers that were following us back in Fire Fountain City. And yet you can’t describe them?” she asks, voice dripping with disdain.

Zuko groans and rolls his eyes, almost as if this was nothing more than an annoying hassle for him rather than the serious interrogation it was. He waits a beat, staring angrily at the floor, before he lifts his head to meet her eyes.

“Well, they were human,” he says, voice annoyingly sweet. “Two legs. Two arms.”

Katara scowls.

“They were wearing helmets,” Zuko says in exasperation. “Am I supposed to be able to recognize soldiers by the way they walk?”

“Maybe!”

At this point, Sokka enters with a steaming cup of tea. He takes one look between the two—the scowl on the prince’s face and the murderous intent on Katara’s, and mutters, “Not sure you know what you’re doing, sis.”

At this, Katara transfers her glare to her brother, though he only rolls his eyes too.

Katara huffs and takes the tea that Sokka brought, silently dismissing him. Sokka sends what seems to be an apologetic look (traitor!) to Zuko before wordlessly exiting.

“It’s about time,” says Zuko when Katara hands him the mug of tea. “Hope he got it warm enough, since you’re forbidding me from bending.”

Katara ignores him. “How did you even get here?” she snaps, hoping that asking this question for the umpteenth time will expose how he’d been following them for weeks (which was likely!) or how he’d kidnapped some of their friends to get their location (even more likely!).

“I told you; I stole a war balloon and followed you from Caldera.” He takes a sip of his tea and sighs. “I’m done. Let me talk to Aang.”

“Not yet! I’m not done!”

Zuko purses his lips but doesn’t argue any longer.

“How did you break into the North Pole?” Katara finally asks.

Really? Zuko’s expression seems to ask.

For some reason, he smirks at her. “Hmm, I’m not sure.”

“Tell me.”

“I’m trying to remember,” he says, putting down his tea to make a show of tapping his chin. “It was very traumatic.”

“How long are you going to pull this crap?”

“How long are you going to keep me prisoner in my own room?”

Katara sniffs. “I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me something worthwhile.” Until he proves to her that allowing him to stay here will have some sort of benefit.

“Fine,” Zuko says, lying back and stretching out on his bed. One arm holds his head up as he watches Katara over his nose. “We can stay here all day and all night, with you—what did you call it?—interrogating me.” He smirks again, the crooked expression on his face downright infuriating.

Katara abruptly changes tactics, crossing her arms and stepping toward him, the water falling from her hands in large splashes that she ignores. “You know what, I don’t think you want me to leave you alone,” she says slowly, her lip curling in satisfaction. “I’m the only one who will talk to you, anyway.”

Zuko’s smirk falls, and Katara feels a little flame of triumph in her chest roar to life.

“Right, I don’t want you to leave me alone,” he parrots, the bite back in his voice. “I definitely want to be constantly reminded how much you hate me.”

Katara does not feel another twinge of regret. She does not push anything away.

Instead, she falls to her knees with a mocking gasp.

“Does his highness require better accommodations?” she says, her voice warbling. “Better amenities?”

“Katara—” Zuko says, unamused.

“An innocent victim to burn, perhaps?”

“Katara, please—” Zuko says, voice more serious. But she keeps going.

“Do you require a maiden before you cooperate?” she taunts, crawling toward him and exposing her neck. “What about me? Will I do?”

At this point, Zuko is exhaling smoke, but he’s not bending. She wonders how far she can goad him. She crawls closer until she’s at the edge of his bed and mockingly reaching toward him.

“Please, your highness, what must we do to please you?!” she all but shrieks, vaguely feeling like she would make a great actress as Zuko slowly shakes his head, as if to say What did I do to deserve this?

Well, she can think of a lot of things!

Just when she thinks of naming all those things to Zuko, she suddenly hears the swish of a cloak behind her and the sound of wood hitting the ground. Her and Zuko both turn toward the noise, to see Aang, a confused smile on his face, his ears a little pink, and his glider in his hand.

“Um—Katara—I think I’ll talk to Zuko now,” says Aang slowly, eying her strangely. She’s about to ask what’s up with him before she realizes her arms are sprawled beseechingly toward Zuko, her body half on his bed and half on the ground.

“Right, yes!” she says, getting up daintily and wiping her tunic with her hands as if what she’d been doing was perfectly normal. “I’ll just be—”

Inexplicably, she looks back to Zuko, who is also watching her, bemused.

“Bye!” she squeaks to the room with a hurried wave.

She’s talking to Aang, of course. Not Zuko.

Definitely not Zuko.

[mistigrisunshine]

spuffy fic rec

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

Fallout by KnifeEdge [1.5k]

Post-series, post-comic, our heroes deal with the little problem of cleanup after a bad slay.

Hills of Iowa by the_moonmoth [2.9k]

She felt bigger here, like the landscape. Like she could unfold everything she was and still find space for it all.

Rayne Raises a Ruckus by SzmattyCat [8k]

Ethan Rayne has a plan. I myself do not…

Defenseless by Rebcake [10k]

After escaping from the Initiative, Spike weighs his options and seeks help from the Slayer's Watcher mother.

Christmas Date by bewildered [28k]

Christmas Eve in Cleveland, 2004.

Diamond Studded Flunkies by Eurydice [49k]

The world thinks Buffy Summers is dead. Only two men know differently, and neither one of them are talking. However, Ethan has learned that Spike is getting credit for killing Buffy and shifted his focus from destroying the Council to finding Spike and getting some answers. He followed him to Chicago, but Spike had already skipped town with a new friend in tow. Now, they're headed west again, because Spike's decided life's too boring not to have Buffy in it…

wouldn't it be nice? (in the kind of world where we belonged) by SummerFrost [50k]

Spike is still beneath her, so hard he's vibrating, and a second ago she was living in this amazing, perfect, fresh piece of Dubble Bubble bubblegum world. A second ago, she loved him. Or: The thing about Willow's will-be-done spell is that, yeah, obviously it sucks that it happened with Spike. But now that all those totally fake lovey-dovey feelings are gone, Buffy is starting to worry that she'll never get them back—with anyone. Too bad the only person who might understand is her mortal enemy.

More Grimm Tails by Twinkles [130k]

A somewhat fluffy sequel to my Little Red Riding Hood oneshot. With all of the books thrown back in the blender, and no apologies for odd language, wild jumps in style, or general randomness.

The Eternal Return by Iamblichus [135k]

Fifteen years after their grand showdown with the First Evil, Buffy and Spike have finally got it figured out… and then Buffy takes a tumble through her past. Old decisions are new again. (Begins fifteen years after Liebestod before it quickly reverses course, but can be read as a standalone.)

Aspectus by Kirinin [185k]

A spell to ‘make Buffy as she was’ pulls college-aged Buffy into a future where her mother’s gone, her best friend is a hazard, Giles is worried, and Spike’s in love. On her return, Buffy begins to navigate the world using an entirely new roadmap, forging alliances and laying the foundation for a hopefully happier tomorrow. Meanwhile, things aren’t going so well for Spike and Dawn in the future… A story about making friends and keeping them.

[veronyxk84]

Spuffy Fic Recs — October

Missed last month’s recs? Check this tag to catch up!

Find my Fic Recs on Dreamwidth as well

I present a list of 5 Spuffy fics I’ve read in October. All complete, mostly recent, and all links are for Sunnydale After Dark. Fics marked with the 🐉 emoji were written for SAD’s Legend Has It 2024.

(NOTE: some or all may be available on other archives as well).

Listed from oldest to most recent; see the publishing year (on SAD) before the title.

Some reviews are taken from my own comments left for the stories. I tried to make them short and not spoiler-y.

(2024) Viral by Harlow Turner [R] 🐉 9 chapters

Summary: When Buffy suddenly falls ill, help comes from an unlikely source. But something’s wrong-- this isn’t the flu. She’s weak, she’s delirious, and worst of all, she spread her illness to the worst possible person... Spike.

Review: The Scoobies race against time while Buffy (and Spike) are battling a mysterious illness. Science, magic, and legends will inevitably come into play as various questions are answered, including the most prominent one: Will a cure be found?

(2024) Chaperones by Apache Firecat [PG] one shot

Summary: Spike never thought he���d see this moment.

Review: A little glimpse in the future of Buffy and Spike as an established couple with a loving family.

(2024) between you and me... by flootzavut [G] one shot

Summary: Lorne gets himself in Angel’s doghouse by telling Buffy that Spike is back. Written for the 2024 EF Betrayal event.

Review: The author does an excellent job with Lorne’s POV. His voice sounds so authentic and true to the beloved AtS character, it’s a delight to read.

(2024) Credit to the Past by Apache Firecat [R] one shot

Summary: Spike wakes to find Buffy watching him, and brooding.

Review: A touching moment turning into a difficult conversation, but one of those that sometimes are needed because they can have healing powers. They’ve both been toxic to each other, but as this fic shows, they've fought hard and long to rise above it, heal, and find in each other what they’d been really looking for but had failed to find due to a lot of reasons.

(2024) Everything Has Changed by acekoomboom [PG] 2 chapters

Summary: Spike and Buffy find each other again in the next life, and their first meeting sings the echoes of their history.

Review: I love the concept of Spike and Buffy finding each other in their next life and having the kind of feelings described in this drabble fic. My hopeless romantic side dreams that this is how soulmates work. Finding each other again and again, no matter how long it takes between one life and the next to cross paths.

[kaizsche]

tonight i can write (preview)

note: so... another WIP gets added to the list days after i posted a snippet of mystified ch2... thing was... i was supposed to write that fic but my american lit professor sent a neruda poem we can work on for finals and i just snapped and re-read it again like 4 hours ago and here is the product of my neruda obsession (i'm blaming spike and spuffy authors for this)

inspired by pablo neruda's tonight i can write

He lifted her closer in his embrace and whispered lines of poetry in her ear. The words depicted her fortitude and compassion. His prose sang praises of her victories, big and small.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too. How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Until he had gone out of words. Until he felt the last embers of her warmth seep away. Elijah could no longer find the words. He simply held her and instead hummed a lost song to occupy the silence. It was an ancient song to lull the children into sleep. Henrik had requested it of him the night before he was found dead, torn up by wolves. Elijah barely remembered the words now, having not spoken the ancient language in many years. He hoped Henrik would find it in himself to sing it to her.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines. To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her. To hear the immense night, still more immense without her. And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

[dragonflylady77]

Questions for fanfic authors

I was tagged by @xthelastknownsurvivorx

How many works do you have on AO3? 47 (holy shit!)

What's your total AO3 word count? 80,885

What fandoms do you write for? Mostly Stranger Things (harringrove), then a tiny bit of Red, White & Royal Blue (firstprince), a Spuffy one shot, and a Power Rangers 2017 one shot.

Do you respond to comments? I try to, yes. Then I find some I forgot to respond to and I feel really bad.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that I know of.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? yes, a long time ago. I was beta-ing a Spuffy fic for my bestie Kitty and I kinda wrote the 3rd (and last) chapter of that fic. I read it again a couple of years ago and OMG the head-hopping was bad and the smut was kinda cringe.

What's your all-time favourite ship? harringrove!!!! Even if I've been reading a ton of firstprince (and some tarlos, and also Lizzie/Darcy), my heart belongs to Billy and Steve.

What are your writing strengths? dialogue, banter, happy endings, fluff (just ask @shieldofiron.

What are your writing weaknesses? actions scenes, full on MM smut (still scares me a bit).

First fandom you wrote for? um, does NKOTB RPF when I was in my late teens count? Otherwise, Spuffy.

no pressure tags @ihni @onthewaytosomewhere @lalazeewrites @biillyhargroves @spaceofentropy @thissortofsorcery @shieldofiron @robthegoodfellow @fizzigigsimmer @adelacreations @forever-fixating @kiwiana-writes @anincompletelist @billyharringson @camaro-and-smokes

[andthesunwillalwaysshine]

TOP 5 fav spuffy moments since they became canon in no particular order

1. buffy saving spike in s7e11

2. touched (all of it, inc spike’s speech to the scoobies and potentials, spike’s speech to buffy, them cuddling together aka spike holding buffy and buffy holding spike (with THE MUSIC starting the montage w them and ending it w them) 

3. their entire convo in end of days

4. the i believe in you speech from buffy

5. FIRST DATE being an episode that screamed LOVE (so the entire episode but also the last convo, ’’i am not ready for you to not be here’’ and glances)

BONUS IN CAPITAL LETTERS: tell me you love me (i love you, you know i do) tell me you want me (i always want you) scene (no when i am telling you i was down bad for this moment i was truly down bad) ++++ ’’If you try anything again he’ll kill you…and more importantly i’ll let him’’, Buffy finally saying that 3 words 8 letter aka I LOVE YOU (and no matter what Spike said, it’s confirmed he knew she meant it) I was a broken mess  (you know how hard it was putting this outside of top 5, but the buffy saving spike scene was so ahhhhh<33333</333333)

EXTRA bonus: the bday episode in s6, buffy breaking down in front of tara talking about her feelings regarding spike, buffy dreaming of spike and her being in her bed after the trio made her think she had killed someone, buffy defending spike to giles, ’’he is in my heart’’, ’’clearly you don’t cause that whole having my pride thing was just a smoke-screen’’ ’’oh thank god’’ ’’i don’t know what i would’ve done if you had gone up those stairs’’ *caresses cheek*, when spike wakes up from his dream and asks buffy if something is wrong after she’s done talking with the first disguising as herself (idk it seemed so domestic to me, also the way he said her name), THE FADE OUT MOMENT IN CHOSEN, when the evil is controlling spike and normal spike is talking to buffy and being like i could never forget you and it’s still all about you and i didn’t go to hell to retrieve my soul and back only to hurt people again and how he can’t live with himself for hurting buffy 

[sothischickshe]

I was tagged by @bourbon-ontherocks (ty! 💛💛💛) to answer 20 questions for writers:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

21!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

278,245

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The only fandom I've ever published fic for is good girls

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Bringing down the neighbourhood

waiting for someone who needs me🧞

What a sight to see🧛🏻

(a) time to kill

yourself and others

I'm not sure the middle 3 would def be there were it not for the anon kudos bombing but w/e it's nice having some single chapter fics in the top 5 🤘

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! 🥺🥺🥺

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

A time to refrain (from embracing) methinks!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Both installments of the Are you afraid or is it true series are pretty fluffy. Maybe the second part (Through the park and by the tree) wins out? 🤔

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not generally. There was someone in the gg fandom leaving mean bookmark notes tho 🙄🗑️

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. What are the kinds? 👀

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't, and I don't imagine I would?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, not that I'm aware of. It could be interesting to see how it would go!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes actually, as kids me and a friend co-wrote a tortall 'verse crackfic.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Ooof. Maybe spuffy? That met me at a very formative time of my life, and I didn't expect it to become so canon (as opposed to like under a spell etc) and I think that experience really reshaped my brain 🤯🤯🤯 but fundamentally faves questions are immoral thus this is a very rude question.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I hope I'll finish all of them, and do intend to! I'm not sure I'll ever write the hilarious abortion fic tho.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Mm, a love of language/interesting prose. A love of brevity/somewhat chiselled sentences. A love of editing/willingness to improve. Interesting stories. Dialogue, tho brio get little bc theyre annoying. Characterisation!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Well I violently dislike plot. I don't feel super strong on creating original characters. I'm slow! I'd rather let things be confusing than beat readers over the head with info, which I think can be detrimental. I wouldnt say my descriptions are super strong, though I think they've improved a lil. Sometimes there's too much internal monologue at a go which breaks up the pacing of an eg dialogue scene (though again think that's improved somewhat). My love of planning and love of pantsing are at constant war lol, I get grumpiest abt stuff not having been established earlier and thus needing to state things which couldve been well demonstrated. Blocking, sometimes. I love short stories and oneshots but I'm apparently prone to writing long fics & continuing things into series which I consider a real weakness, lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm not against it in principle, I've read a lot of books which contain a lot of eg French or Spanish (often untranslated). We've got access to Google translate or w/e right? I do appreciate it when translations are provided bc lazy (and I think Ao3 does poss let you do hyperlinked superscript?). I feel the same way abt it in fic as in other media I think -- if you're happy for it to be a bonus to those that understand and everyone else needs to work to figure it out, I concur. If you think it needs to be understood, then providing translations (even if just as notes @ the end) makes sense.

But I also think pls don't write it via Google translate... If u don't speak the language/don't have someone who can help u translate it, don't write dodgy shite Spanish or w/e 🙈 not everything needs to be literal dialogue u can just say 'he explained to his grandmother abt the change in plans' or w/e I swear

...o wait I'm guessing the q meant me as a writer not reader 🤦 I don't think I've done much of it? Altho I do always seem to imply that every character speaks French, a language I don't really speak so who the hell knows 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published for: good girls. Wrote for hmmm I guess tortall books maybe? 🧓🤷🏼‍♀️

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Ooof, immoral question! Let's say upon your ignorance (and the gray despair) of your ugly life tho bc every time I remember I wrote a fic where rio & Dean swap bodies I giggle 😂 there's so much abt this fic which is very funny to specifically me teehee

Tagging🔖🔖🔖🔖🔖: @hereliesbb @nakedmonkey @nottonyharrison @inyoursheets @bensonstablers @blizabrth @delicatelingon & U right in the middle of your forehead if u wanna play 😚🎯

[girl4music]

DOC: “You had no right!”

WYNONNA: “I did what was right!”

DOC: “Right woulda been shooting that thing and us running for it.”

WYNONNA: “He wasn’t always a thing, Doc. And if I’m gonna keep killing them and not go crazy, I need more than revenge…”

DOC: “Goddammit, Wynonna! They’re bad people.”

WYNONNA: “So I just ignore they’re people at all?”

DOC: “I spent over 100 years in the dark, at the bottom of a dried-up old well. Do you know what thought I turned over and over in my head? What I lived on? The sheer knowledge that I would pay back the bitch that made me what I am. This monster.”

WYNONNA: “You’re not a monster.”

DOC: “But a lesser man than Fish. I saw her today. At least I think I did. And she… her power… I couldn’t.”

WYNONNA: “That’s why you stayed. Not to help us.”

DOC: “I staked that man out there. I knew what would happen to him and I staked him still. Even worse, I would stake every revenant in this world and most of the humans too if that’s what it takes to destroy Constance Clootie.”

WYNONNA: “Well, I need rules, Doc. A code. Otherwise I’ll end up just like you.”

DOC: “Oh, stop kidding yourself, Wynonna. You’re exactly like me.”

This whole conversation. Damn it’s deep. It’s probably one of my favourite character interactions in the entire show. And the fact that this is the interaction between Wynonna and Doc that makes them kiss and fuck for the first time. Oh,… it’s all so good and so well done!

There’s some very good writing in this show that really justifies the motivations and choices and actions of the characters. It’s like soap opera levels of drama but it’s like it gives you higher stakes and consequences.

That’s another reason why I love supernatural/fantasy so much. Because the melodrama just hits differently.

Here the attraction and desire between Wynonna and Doc is amped up because they’ve admitted they’re just like each other. They both have deep jagged edges that cut and saw and the pain is mutual.

Unhealthy, sure. But it is a way of finding a deeper connection beyond that attraction and desire and so it fuels the heat they feel for each other in the moment. You know, that sudden recognition of “You’re dark - just like me”, “You’re in pain - just like me”, “You’re lost - just like me”, “You’re an outsider - just like me.”

They’re very Spuffy-like actually. Except Buffy would have never offered Spike this much faith when he was soulless. And Wynonna and Doc are not exactly enemies-to-lovers but they have the same passionate but rocky rollercoaster of a journey to navigate through and overcome based on the type of people they are. And they’re virtually mirror reflections of each other. Anti-matter equivalents. That push-and-pullness to them where they’re so toxic to each other they shouldn’t be good for each other. But that’s exactly what makes them work. The fact that they shouldn’t because they’re naturally opposed. Now Doc was always supposed to be on the same side but due to the brutality and cruelty he was dealt by Bulshar and Constance, and the rejection by Wyatt, it made sense that he chose to stand on the other side initially but then grew to love his crazy found family once again. They always were meant to stand together as heroes rather than against each other as enemies.

And how you know that’s 100% true is because they do a 180 at the end of the show and it really hits because by that point it was Wynonna that was shut off and shut down to the power of love and forgiveness. That was driven by vengeance and violence and that had to open her heart to Doc.

I’m so SO glad Andras chose to play it that way. To have her chase after him instead of the other way around even if that does seem like she’s desperate. Because she had already proven that her vulnerability didn’t outweigh her power or make it seem less than. If anything - it did the opposite. Made her even more. And I loved that so much. I really fucking loved that!

She’s always been the black sheep of society and of her family. So has he. And that’s why they worked. Something that you would think would not work at all because it’s contradictory is what makes those jagged little pieces not only fit - but also function together. When you find that deeper connection - as mad or bizarre as it might be - it’s still a deeper connection and it will still tell a deep and beautiful TV love story.

[this-thing-saved-me]

This Show Saved Me - BTVS 7x22

7x22 Chosen

I will never not find it funny that to stream Buffy I have to go to Disney+. Or the fact that the most recent episode I’d watched (whenever that was) was this one. Since I’m pretty sure I left my rewatch mid-season 3.

But that’s the thing about this particular episode. It’s practically a perfect finale. And felt like the right place to start, because who says everything should happen in order. That’s not always how life works. 

THERE WILL LIKELY BE ABUNDANT SPOILERS FOR A FINALE THAT AIRED OVER TWENTY YEARS AGO. There, that was your warning. And now for some Cole's notes “Story so far.”

Okay, so Buffy’s been through it by this point. The First has annihilated her self-confidence and Caleb has been on the warpath. Spike has told her she’s the one (!!!), whether she fully believes in herself yet or not. (SIDENOTE: yes, I ship Spuffy. Yes, there are very, very valid reasons not to. However I am a big fan of redemption arcs and where they land by the end of the comics feels like as healthy a place as possible with a very real love.)

And Angel shows up trying to be all tall-dark and forehead. Which I get, he’s Angel, he needs to be in the finale. But ultimately he's a delivery boy and he didn’t need to do it in person other than to prompt the first on my list of loves for this episode. 

Which is what I lovingly refer to as the "Cookie Speech." Buffy knows she has more growing to do and she’s self-aware enough to share that with the first love of her life. She’s come a long way from the season of post-resurrection depression, but she’s still not quite ready for what Angel might like her to be (granted he’s JUST lost Cordelia so the fact that he is back at Buffy’s door is a rant for another post.) The idea that things aren’t working for her romantically because she’s not done baking. She hasn’t figured out all that she wants to be. While I love love LOVE this analogy, I wonder if there’s ever really a time in our lives where we are done baking? Besides the end of course. We’re supposed to evolve. We’re supposed to grow.

Spike is her Champion, not Angel. They’ve seen the best and the worst of each other, remember? He knows she needs someone strong, someone with a soul, and despite the bad, she knows he’s earned the right to the title through growing and atoning. Motivated people can change, and that’s something I believe that Spike has shown.

“He had to split” - the joke is LHF and I love it. Does its utterance deserve a place on this list? Yes. Because it's very me-coded. I’d have a very hard time not making the same joke if I had just rendered a man from stem to stern. But I digress. This episode is serious and still silly. It’s the epitome of BTVS episodes. I mean Spike waking from a dream yelling “I’m drowning in Cool Whip,” come on. It’s akin to “the cheese wears me” in off kilter nonsense. Plus Anya later finding her strength in her hatred for "floppy, hoppy bunnies" will never not kill me. (Or her, again spoiler.) I adore Emma Caufield.

Willow is afraid to use magic because of her history with the darkness. Not knowing if she’s stable enough. I can identify with her at this moment after clawing back from my own mental health blip a couple years ago. She went dark. (I went, arguably, nuts) She’s regained her balance but how secure? It’s going to turn out to be really secure because “Oh my goddess” she’s got this. AND…

The fact that Kennedy is there for Willow to help keep her grounded. Her very presence supports Willow but isn’t the deciding factor for victory. Willow needs to believe in herself that she won’t go back over that edge. She touched the darkness and it freaked her the f out. (Once she came back down from the overwhelm and shock of her grief.) I lived in that fear for a long time. And I’m grateful for the grounding I’ve found outside of the support of others, but within myself.

Just for fun, let’s chat about the DND session. Even the scoobies needed to disassociate before the big thing. And self-permission to have fun during challenging times is key. It can’t all be doom and gloom. Sometimes you recharge that nervous energy through Trogdor the Burninator references and that’s more than okay.

Ultimately we have the’ shared power’ speech. “Here’s the part where you make a choice” more specifically. Because they could easily choose to let the First and its legions overwhelm the world and finally be the apocalypse they couldn’t handle. It’s easier to stay down. It’s easier to say I can’t. But where does that get you? Making that choice to take your power back and say I am more than what wants to overwhelm me is a beautiful moment. This moment, where all the Potentials get their piece of the power pie is tremendously moving. I get shivers just thinking about it. Male or female, we don’t need the permission of Slayer power to take back our own. To say ‘no more’ and get back up off the ground. (Although Slayer strength would be badass, let’s be real.)

The bottom line, this episode epitomises what I love about Buffy and the Whedon-verse. Real characters in a fantastic world who battle larger than life caricatures of the demons we fight in our daily lives. This show saved me in a lot of ways. My very first boyfriend got me to watch it back in 2005, which he may have regretted as it CONSUMED my brain for most of grade 12. It was the perfect time for me to experience this show. I credit it for helping me find my voice offline. I was always a nose-in-a-book girl or heavily distracted with FanFiction. I was one of the quietest in my friend group, not really feeling like there was a value to what I had to say. The message that we can choose to be strong and fight back? That’s one that I’ll eternally be grateful for and will carry with me, always. What’s your favourite episode? And why is it “Once More With Feeling”? ;)

(Honourable mention goes to this eye contact where my headcanon is convinced he sees she really does love him despite him telling her otherwise seconds before. THOSE SMG EYES! I can't.)

[raisedbythetv89]

But Daddy I love him from TPD not only is extremely spuffy coded but it gave me lines that perfectly encapsulate the psychotic levels of rage I feel when anti spuffy/spike people try and shame and judge me for loving a fictional ship/character while pretending they’re “concerned for me” up on their little moral superiority high horse and they all say the same exact shit with zero variation or originality:

“Clutchin' their pearls sighing, what a mess. I just learned these people try and save you 'cause they hate you”

“I'd rather burn my whole life down Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'”

“I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing”

“God save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me - sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see”

“You ain't gotta pray for me. Me and my wild boy, and all of this wild joy. If all you want is gray for me - then it's just white noise - then it's just my choice”

She just says “OH MY GOD LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE YOU JUDGMENTAL BASIC ASS BITCHES I DO NOT GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK ABOUT YOUR STUPID LITTLE OPINION AND HEARING IT AGAIN ACTUALLY MAKES ME WANT TO LIGHT MYSELF ON FIRE. MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS YOU DON’T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT ME YOU JUST NEED SOMETHING TO HATE YOU ARE NOT SUPERIOR YOU ARE JUST A FUCKING ASSHOLE” so much more poetically and eloquently, painting such a vivid picture with her words that reads these people for filth and I really appreciate her for that 😹

[mcgnagallsarmy]

My 5 favourite Spuffy fics set during/around Chosen

It has been 20 years since the show has ended so here are my favourite fics that fix the end of S7.

A Place to Call Home by all_choseny [NC-17]

Buffy and Spike have beaten The First, and the Hellmouth is closed for good. Now, at the precipice of a new beginning, the pair must decide to finally give love a chance or walk away from each other for good.

The Blue Eye of the Storm by MaggieLaFey [NC-17]

Instead of the Scythe, what Buffy finds under the vineyard is a portal to another dimension. Spike has followed her there, and it’s the two of them that will cross the portal… and remain trapped on the other side for far longer than they’d expected. What will happen when the two of them—plus a local guide—are away from the stress of Chez Summers? Will they find some peace in the eye of the storm?

Her Champion. by Loup Noir [NC-17]

As Buffy wanders the chaotic Sunnydale, she is struck by a sudden epiphany about her friends. Realising that only one person stood by her unquestionably, even when she made mistakes and stumbled on her path, Buffy decides that for once, she is going to fight for what she wants. After fending off an attempt on her life by The First, she storms back to her house to confront the friends who betrayed her. With only Spike standing by her once again as her friends floundered, Buffy heads off to fight her final battle. And along the way, she finally opens her heart to the vampire who fought to be a Champion. To be Her Champion.

Rock Solid by Passion4Spike [NC-17]

Buffy comes to some realizations about herself, the nature of her love, and her feelings for Spike on the eve of the biggest fight of her life, but will it be too little, too late?  Spoiler Alert: No, it won’t.

You Think You Know What's to Come by deedo [NC-17]

Buffy handled things a bit differently after she gave Spike the amulet.

[hello-nichya-here]

Just watched final episodes of Buffy and my spuffy heart is insanely happy about Spike's speech in touched and how Buffy finally seems to understand just how much she means to him.

And you right, the Bangel kiss was so forced and Buffy basically told him to get out of her show 'cause she had a new man lmaoooo

Spuffy in "Touched" is on a whole other level of greatness. Everything about Spike's speech to Buffy is perfect.

For starters, Spike told off everyone for being absolute dicks to Buffy and daring to kick her out of her own home and wander through a completely apocalyptic Sunnydale by herself. Not wanting to go along with her plan was one thing, but stabbing her in the back like that was horrible - and Spike calling them a bunch of sad traitors was PERFECT (plus, him giving Giles a piece of his mind after the plot to kill him was so satisfying).

Spike is just so sweet to Buffy during the entire conversation - with the ocasional "You're insufferable for not believing how awesome you are" and "Want me to kill Faith for you? 'Cause I would totally kill Faith for you."

(Compared to the time Angel told Buffy to get out of his show because he had a new slayer girlfriend, and it's just soooo clear who Buffy and Angel should be dating instead of each other XD)

The most important part of the speech is not even how it makes Buffy understand the depth of Spike's love for her, but how, like he said, he truly understands her like no one else did.

"I love what you are, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength, I've seen the absolute best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy"

Spike was Buffy's sworn enemy, reluctant ally, willing ally and supportive friend, toxic boyfriend, sweet boyfriend she mistreated, and now he is her champion, the one that will help her save the world - again. OF COURSE he knows her in a way nobody else did.

Him calling her "the one" - both as in "his one true love" and "the chosen one" - is also perfect, because Buffy's entire conflict is feeling she will never have a fullfiling life, with meaningful relationships, because, like the first slayer said "The slayer doesn't walk this world" and "death is your gift." She fears she's too much of a hero to be a person.

And then in comes Spike. The dude that regularly calls her just "Slayer." The guy she's treated worse than she ever treated anyone else (including herself, which is saying a lot) BECAUSE of her struggly to deal with being the Slayer AND in love with anyone, let alone a souless vampire.

And he just embraces both sides of her. The kind, vulnerable girl longing for connection. The ruthless, powerful hero that doesn't need anyone. He LOVES both sides of her.

But, more importantly, said love is at it's most selfless on that moment.

"I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not 'cause I want you, or 'cause I can't have you. It's got nothing to do with me"

It doesn't matter that Buffy isn't perfect, that she mistreated him in the past, that she feels she doesn't deserve him. Hell, it doesn't even matter if she can't reciprocate Spike's feelings (even though we know she does). He still loves her, and his love will always be hers regardless of anything and everything.

Spike is being incredibly honest and vulnerable in this scene - and it allows Buffy to finally accept not only his love for her, but to give him her heart too.

I've already said over and over that I don't think Seeing Red worked, but my God, it is such a big deal to have Buffy ask Spike to come to bed with her after it, especially since the episode deliberately compares it too all the other couples in the show having sex. It's the proof that she has not only forgiven him, but also managed to fully trust him to never hurt her again (remember her saying to Giles "You sent away the one person who's been watching my back" and her chosing him as her champion instead of Angel).

But THE thing that makes me insane about this moment, and that the Spuffy fandom surprisingly doesn't talk about nearly enough, is the implications of their conversation about their night of cuddles.

Everyone is always going on and on about how that was the best night of Spike's life, and how that would have been his moment of "perfect happiness" if he was under the same curse as Angel - yet I haven't seen nearly enough people going crazy over tha fact that Buffy then confirms to Spike that SHE FELT THE SAME WAY, IT MEANT JUST AS MUCH AS IT DID TO HIM.

Buffy went through hell that night, as being pushed away by all of her loved ones confirmed her worst fears - and it was still what led to her moment of "perfect happiness" just because Spike was there to support her through it all. She even goes as far as saying she only got the weapon that will help her defeat the bad guy because of the strength Spike gave her that night.

Also, the way she gently touches his face during that talk, AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Anyways, they are soulmates and if you don't agree, you're wrong.