#in fairness my workplace has also gone a bit mental so it’s not like running two games was the entire problem

[scratching92]

I have this terrible curse where every time I run more than one Lancer game at a time I feel overwhelmed by the mental load of prep for two different games, but then as soon as one of them ends I’m like “You know what I love doing? Running Lancer. I should run another game”.

[jellybeanbeing]

Favorite Books of 2020

I read 50 books this year, here are my top favorites:

9. Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare // One of my most anticipated books of 2020 and it did not disappoint. This wasn’t the first Shadowhunter book I’ve read and so I was aware going into this one that, with this being the first book to a new series, there was gonna be some info dump and A LOT of build up. I wasn’t mad at it though. Besides that, I can already tell that this series is going to be my favorite in TSC. The story is already so complex with such vibrant and interesting characters and character relationships. I cried my eyes out at the end of this book because I could just feel the pain in certain characters and I am so ready to be hurt with the two upcoming books.

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: substance abuse, emotional manipulation

8. Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert // This was the first ever adult romance book that I read, and boy, did it make me fall in love. I had no idea what I was going into when picking this up because I had never read an adult romance novel, and I was soooooooo pleasantly surprised that it sent me into an adult romance book binge. This is still at the top because hot damn, the relationship was just fantastic. It was sooooo cute, and what I loved so so much was that the characters had lives outside of their relationships. They grew individually while still engaging in their relationship. It never felt boring or stilted. It was so refreshing to read that. The amount of communication and comprehension that was present was amazing. The smut scenes were just fucking perfection. I loved everything about this book! 

TRIGGER WARNING (provided in the author's note of Get a Life, Chloe Brown): "This story touches on the process of healing after an abusive relationship."

7. You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle // Let me just say here that this is suuuuuuch a romantic book. There were so many lines that had my heart aching and crying. This was the first book I read where the lovers to enemies to lovers trope existed, and after this one, I want more. I looooved the regrowth of their relationship, seeing the two become friends again, and really really communicate with each other and listen to each other. It was so goddamn cute and wholesome and endearing. This book was also so humorous and I found myself actually laughing at certain parts. One thing that I really really appreciated was that though the book’s perspective was only from one side of the relationship, it never pinned all the blame on the other person. This was a story that could’ve easily turned into that, where the other person is the bad guy, but it was acknowledged that both sides were at fault for the falling out of the relationship. I had such a great time reading this one!

6. The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang // I fell absolutely in love with this one, especially after a brief reread. It is sooooo freaking cute and easy going and wholesome and romantic and perfect. I love the two main characters and how well they fit together. They understand each other and respect each other and care for each other so so deeply. The communication was so perfect, the smut scenes were top tier amazing, the growth of their affection towards each other was so cute, and everything was just great. I loved the family aspect of this one! It felt natural and genuine. This book was just everything good.

5. Kids of Appetite by David Arnold // One of the last books I read in the year, and here it is! This reread was well overdue. Anyway, I loved it! I loved it way more than my first read. The found family trope in this one was literally so perfect and felt like a warm hug. I LIVE for the friendships in this one. I absolutely loved how everything tied together at the end and how everything was connected. It made me so emotional, and yes, I did cry. A lot. The romance between Vic and Mad was also really cute and wholesome! The grief that was explored in this one was also so so good. It felt so personal and it made my heart ache. Yes, this book will still remain as one of my all time favorites. I loved it.

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: PTSD, physical abuse, death of a loved one, murder, violence

4. The Right Swipe & 3. Girl Gone Viral by Alisha Rai // Okay, but these are top fucking tier romance books! I’m grouping them together because they are part of the same series (Modern Love). I’m usually not a fan of social media or modern day lingo in books because I do find it cringy but I don’t know, it fucking works in these two for me. The Right Swipe is a second chance romance, and I loved it! Rhi and Samson have such great chemistry and their banter was so good. Girl Gone Viral had me smiling like an idiot throughout the whole thing. It was so fucking cute! Also, it was my first bodyguard trope like book, and I like it? Anyway, what I love about both books is how great the communication and comprehension is between the couples. They understand the other person’s boundaries and have conversations like mature people. I also LOVE how the main characters are so well developed and intriguing individually. There’s enough about both characters and who they are and how they run their lives where I felt a connection with them. I found myself caring about each character outside of their relationship and rooting for them. They grow individually but they also grow within their relationship. Also, what perfect endings these two have. It’s not at all cheesy (though I’m not opposed to them) and/or dramatic. They were so realistic, intimate, and heartwarming. And lastly, the smut scenes were chef’s kiss. Great. Fantastic. These two books are the best romance books I’ve ever read, and I will die on this hill saying that.

The Right Swipe TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: sexual harrasment (the book discusses sexual harassment in the workplace), emotional and mental abuse, healing after the death of a loved one, anxiety, mentions of panic attacks

Girl Gone Viral TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: PTSD, mentions of unhealthy eating habits (restrictive), emotional and mental abuse, depictions of panic attacks, anxiety

2. Deposing Nathan by Zack Smedley // This was my first book of the year, and yes, it is up this high because it was so great and memorable. I read this at the most perfect time in my life. I was initially really exciting for it, and I was so happy that it matched my expectations. While the book’s main focus is on the events of what happened that led to the start of the book, it deals with such as topics about sexuality and religion. It was such an emotional and intense book for me, and I felt like this book poured out the thoughts that were swimming in my brain. I loved the characters and how certain things played out. None of it to me, felt unrealistic. It was genuine and heartbreaking while still a bit heartwarming. This book is truly a gem, and I will love it forever.

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: child abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, mental manipulation, violence, homophobic slurs, homophobia

1. An Ember in the Ashes series by Sabaa Tahir // With how much I posted about this series, it’s no surprise that it’s numero uno on this list. I love this series with my entire soul, being, existence, it is literal perfection. Yes, I’ve had my fair share of complaints about this book series but fuck that, it is sooooo good. The characters are so amazing and complex, and their development over the course of the four books is so emotional and heart wrenching. I found a part of myself with each character and I was (and still am) so attached to them. The romantic relationship, the familial relationships, the friendships, all the relationships were so well done. I could feel the true connection in every dynamic. I love it so much that it hurts. The plot itself is so fucking good. The slow world building it has is one of my favorite things. It allows you to take in the world slowly and at a good pace. It continues to grow and evolve and reveal itself the further you go with each book. The dialogue is fucking fantastic. It’s flows so well and is well done. Yes, it gets fancy but it’s soooooo smooooooooth. The writing is just sooooo beautiful. Gorgeous. A beauty. I have different posts dedicated to my favorite lines in each book, and boy do they hit the emotional spot. This book series has had such a huge impact in my life and the fact that it’s over doesn’t even feel real. I have cried for five days straight because I won’t get to read this series or about these characters anymore, like I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. Not to mention that the tears are also because of book four and the bittersweetness it left me with. I could go on for days about how absolutely amazing and fantastic this book series is. I would highly recommend it. Get wrecked by it. Love it. It will hurt your soul.

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS: mentions of rape, mentions of sexual assault, violence (some scenes are graphic), murder, death of loved ones, depictions of grief, PTSD

[tedwoodward]

Harsh Words

a Bill/Ted breakup fic

i made this post a while back that sparked a fic

Notes: this is entirely angst i’m so sorry, pre-canon, strangers to friends to lovers to exes in just 3k words!

Summary:

He wasn’t always this way. In fact, it may be hard to believe, but Ted Richards used to be known as a nice person.

In October of 2014 he started a job at CCRP Technical. Ted was a sweet man, always there with a smile and a listening ear. He asked about people’s weekends and seemed to genuinely care about their lives.

And then he met Bill Fisher. And resulting from that, in early 2016, just over a year later, Ted’s personality did a 180. Yes, you read that right. The reason for Ted’s shift in attitude came in the form of Bill. Yes, Bill, the sweet man constantly seen gushing about his daughter, the man who never has a harsh word to say about anyone. That Bill. Or, at least, that’s what Ted Richards would tell you.

Warnings: very brief mention of alcoholism; disagreements and a large argument

Read on ao3

He wasn’t always this way. In fact, it may be hard to believe, but Ted Richards used to be known as a nice person.

In October of 2014 he started a job at CCRP Technical. Ted was a sweet man, always there with a smile and a listening ear. He asked about people’s weekends and seemed to genuinely care about their lives.

And then he met Bill Fisher. And resulting from that, in early 2016, just over a year later, Ted’s personality did a 180. Yes, you read that right. The reason for Ted’s shift in attitude came in the form of Bill. Yes, Bill, the sweet man constantly seen gushing about his daughter, the man who never has a harsh word to say about anyone. That Bill. Or, at least, that’s what Ted Richards would tell you.

Ted had only heard about Bill’s divorce through the office grapevine, which he was not prone to listening to, but there’s only so much you can do to not hear the gossip in the break room. Ted felt for him. His sister had gone through a nasty divorce a few years prior, and he knew how hard the whole process had been for her, especially with the kids involved. He hadn’t planned on approaching the man, but when Bill had been having a rough day and had a minor burst of frustration in the break room due to the coffee machine acting up again, resulting in a loud bang as the side of his fist connected with the counter, Ted couldn’t stand by and not reach out.

The man had nearly collapsed into a chair at the table next to the counter, all the fight having left him in his outburst.

Ted slowly approached him, “Hey… Bill, right?”

Bill looked up from where his hand was supporting the weight of his head and nodded with a small, tired smile, “Yeah. I’m sorry, I don’t know your name. Are you new?”

Ted took a seat across from the man and smiled, “Yep! Just started last week.”

Bill found himself smiling back at the man; wow, he was infectious.

“Well, welcome! And sorry about earlier,” he mumbled, waving a hand in the general direction of the counter, “I’ve been running on caffeine for way too long, and I’m starting to crash. We really need a new coffee maker. I’m so sick of this one breaking all the time.”

He sounded so exhausted, Ted couldn’t help but offer assistance.

“Hey, if that’s the case I don’t mind making a run to Starbucks or something. What can I get ya?”

Bill was taken aback. This guy was too nice! “You don’t have to get me anything!”

Ted waved him off, “I gotta get my own caffeine fix somehow, and if that’s kaputt, I don’t mind grabbing something for you as well.”

Bill was no match for Ted’s generosity, and, with a wink and a promise to return with the fuel they needed to get through the rest of the day, the man disappeared. And Bill couldn’t help but smile after him.

The two became fast friends. It was nice to have someone around who was so caring, and that went both ways. Ted supported Bill through the tough days, and he shared stories about his sister and her kids whenever Bill worried about Alice being caught up in the divorce. Bill helped Ted settle into his new environment and worked as hard as he could to make him feel included around the office, knowing how a new workplace could be ostracizing. They fit really well together.

Naturally, it just kind of evolved into something more. Without realizing it, Bill and Ted started spending much more time together than expected. They stumbled into a relationship one evening after accidentally falling asleep while watching a movie together after work one Friday. The two men woke up with Bill’s head on Ted’s shoulder. After a brief moment of semi-awkwardly staring, trying to read each other’s thoughts, Bill kissed Ted.

Ted let Bill set the pace for their relationship. It wouldn’t be fair to rush right into things, and Bill’s mental health was much more important than anything else to Ted.

Things Bill learned about Ted:

(1) He cares so much.

(2) He can read Bill so well and immediately knows when the other is having a rough day.

(3) Ted was kicked out of the house as soon as he turned 18 and was no longer considered his parents’ responsibility. The only family he keeps in touch with is his sister.

(4) Ted secretly loves musicals, but it wasn’t until a few weeks in as Ted was dropping Bill off at home after date night that the latter recognized Jekyll & Hyde playing through the car stereo, and Ted confessed to his deep, dark secret.

(5) Ted can be a cynic at times.

(6) He gets protective over things that mean a lot to him (for future reference: do NOT poke fun at his favorite movies because he will refuse to speak to you for at least a day and only accept your apology after making you listen to his explanation about why you are Wrong).

Things Ted learned about Bill:

(1) He has so much love.

(2) When he gets excited he is the most adorable sight Ted has ever seen.

(3) He’s not the biggest fan of alcohol due to witnessing the effects of alcoholism on a family member when he was younger.

(4) If you mention something you enjoy, Bill will become an expert on it just so you can bond and have someone to talk to who understands what you’re saying.

(5) His ex-wife had Alice while they were in college, and they had stopped loving each other a while before the divorce. Bill had only wanted to stay together for Alice’s sake.

(6) His love for Alice far outweighs any other power on earth.

And that’s where things got a bit rocky.

Not to say that Ted didn’t like Alice, he was just really protective of Bill. The amount of love that man put out into the world was incredible, but it also made him vulnerable. Ted didn’t want to see him hurt, and he was scared to see what was happening with Alice.

Bill only had Alice with him for a week every month, but his world revolved around her when she was with him. It was adorable to see how excited he was to spend time with his daughter. What wasn’t adorable to Ted was hearing about how much she obviously didn’t even care and how little she paid attention to her dad the entire week.

The first day after Alice left to go back to Clivesdale Bill was always sobered, no longer his usual, happy self. Ted would be there for him, and Bill would recount his time with his daughter. What stuck out as wrong to Ted was how much love Bill poured into his child and how little he got back.

Bill defended her. She’s a teenager trying to navigate life with the addition of a divorced family, it’s hard for her. No teenager wants to spend all week hanging out with their lame dad! (“You’re not lame, Bill.” “Try telling that to a 14 year old.”) He understands. He’s not going to stop loving his daughter because she acts her age.

But Ted doesn’t get it. How could she not see the incredible father in front of her? She treats him like crap and ignores him half the time. She doesn’t deserve Bill.

A few months in, Ted told him this much, and that was the beginning of the end. Their relationship began to deteriorate. Bill couldn’t understand how Ted could say those things about a kid, about someone he loved with his whole heart, his source of joy since college. And Ted’s opinion on Alice persisted in the back of Bill’s mind.

The two started getting into arguments much more often. Bill started to see how Ted took “caring” and “protective” too far. Mixed with Ted’s cynicism, Bill was starting to see how stubborn the other man was. And they found that Alice was a topic Bill would never back down on, regardless of his usual demur response to conflict.

The pair noticed this change, of course they did. And they tried to work through it. Bill began inviting Ted along to the activities he planned with his daughter, hoping he would begin to understand and start to love Alice as much as he did. And Ted agreed to give it a go. He really loved Bill and would do anything to mend their issues, and he truly did want to see the good in Alice. Ted tried to bite his tongue and not judge the girl too harshly. He didn’t dare lash out at her when she gave her father attitude (he wasn’t a monster, he's not about to make a 15 year old cry), but it stuck with him all night and ate away at his mind and his heart so much that he couldn’t hold it in. After Alice had gone to her room for the night Bill walked Ted out to his car to say goodbye.

“I had a really nice time tonight. Thank you for being so great with Alice. You are an incredible partner, and this really shows how much you care. I really appreciate you trying.”

“Bill,” Ted sighed. They both knew what was coming. “How do you do it? You are so loving. How can you just accept the way she treats you?” His tone was soft, his eyebrows scrunched in concern. “She was so dismissive the entire time. It’s not fair that you had to carry every conversation with her and only got attitude back. It’s been eating at me all night. I don’t know if I can listen to her treat someone I love like that.”

The pair stood there with tears in their eyes, holding hands as they silently gazed at each other.

“She’s a teenager, Ted. Every kid is like this at some point, and I’m sure the divorce has just made it even worse for her. But she’s here, isn’t she? She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t care about me. She could easily just stay in Clivesdale, but she comes and visits me. I have to give my daughter love and support, Ted, especially during this time of her life, otherwise what kind of father would I be? A few moments of sass and attitude aren’t going to spoil my love for her.”

Ted seemed to take in what Bill had said. It was clear where Bill stood, and it was up to Ted if he could accept it or not. The couple embraced, and Ted made his way home.

The split didn’t come till another month or so later. The two were once again at Bill’s for movie night, somewhat of a Friday night tradition since they first got together. The movie had finished, and the pair were discussing what they had just watched. Once again, Ted absolutely refused to hear Bill out on the reason he enjoyed the protagonist as a character.

“He has such an annoying arc! Who gives a shit about the fucking love triangle? They spent half the movie focusing on who was going to end up together than they did on the actual plot line!”

“But would you rather he have no personal life outside his job? It gives him humanity to have to juggle both situations. Yeah, it’s a bit cheesy that all the issues climax at the same time—”

“I just think it’s stupid.”

“Okay then, how would you have written it differently and still given the characters believability? If you take out the romantic subplot, you lose the chance to see his soft side in addition to his brooding, professional—”

“Well, they just took it too far—”

“Are you gonna let me talk?” Bill asked.

A beat landed silently between the pair.

“What?”

Another beat as the two looked at each other.

“Are you gonna let me talk?” Bill repeated. “This entire conversation you’ve steamrolled over all of my points and refused to let me even finish my thoughts before telling me why I’m wrong.”

“I never said you’re wrong. I just have a strong opinion on this movie.”

“On this movie? What about all the other times we’ve been in this exact situation? Every time we have differing opinions on something you don’t seem to care about my thoughts.”

“Of course I care!” Ted exclaimed defensively. “I’m sorry if I monopolize the conversation, you know I talk too much. Just stop me if you have something to say.”

“But it’s not monopolizing, you just refuse to listen to me. You never give any counter-arguments other than the fact that it was ‘stupid’ or ‘annoying’ or whatever. You’re so stubborn about everything that you refuse to even listen to my opinion when it’s different from yours.”

“I’m not stubborn!”

“Yes, you are! You are relentless when you have an opinion, and you always have an opinion.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Fuck, I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to have my own opinions. I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to be fucking passionate about something.”

The tension in the room was ramping up as the two men started getting angrier.

“You can be as passionate as you want, but—”

“But only about certain things, right? I can���t be passionate about a movie, I can’t be passionate about the way dishes are washed,” Ted began to list, memories from past arguments resurfacing. “I can’t be passionate about my partner’s toxic relationship with his daughter—”

“Don’t you dare bring my daughter into this,” Bill warned.

“Oh, that’s rich. Sorry for caring about you. Sorry for not wanting you to be taken advantage of by an asshole teenager who wouldn’t give two shits if you solved all life’s problems for her. I didn’t realize there was a limit on how much I’m allowed to care about you!”

Their voices were raising. They hadn’t gotten into an argument this explosive before, and they both felt it. But neither of them could back down.

“Don’t you say those things about her. You don’t even know her! You never even tried to care for her. Once you got the idea in your head that she wasn’t worthy of my love, I knew you wouldn’t be persuaded. I hoped and dreamed and tried to get you to see what I see, but you’re too stubborn. You’d never change! You can love more than one person, Ted. Didn’t you know that? My love for Alice does not detract from my love for you, but you know what does? Your jealousy and your manipulation and your bullying of my teenage kid!”

Ted scoffed, “Ha! Jealou— manipulation?” Harsh laughs accompanied his words. “Bill! All I ever wanted was for you to see that there are some people who will take and take your love and use it for their own fucking advantage and will never return it no matter how much care you show them.” His tone turned much darker. “Those people do not deserve your love, but you’re too blinded to see that no matter how much you try, you’re never going to get that perfect father-daughter relationship you want with Alice. Okay? She doesn’t. Fucking. Care.”

The two men stood there, breathing heavy and minds racing as they fiercely stared at each other.

Bill tried to compose himself and spoke with an uneven voice, “You’re an asshole, Ted. We’re done, now get out of my house. I should have ended this forever ago.” He strode past the other, cleaning up the dishes from the table next to them.

“Excuse me?” Ted followed the other man into the kitchen, trying to catch up after being taken aback by his words.

“I said, ‘we’re done’. Grab your crap and get out of here.” Bill refused to look at Ted as he washed the dishes from their dinner. “You can’t talk about my daughter like that. I don’t know why I allowed it for so long.”

Ted stared at Bill for a few moments, and when he got no other response or acknowledgement from the man he let out a deep, angry sigh. “Okay, yeah, whatever,” he clipped.

Ted stormed from the kitchen, shoved his feet into his shoes, grabbed his jacket and bag from the living room, and slammed the door on his way out.

Work was tough. It’s hard to be employed at the same office as your recent ex, if only due to the gossip. Anger was still stewing in both of them at the sight or mere mention of the other, so naturally the entire office knew what had happened by the end of the work day the following Monday.

Bill found solace in Paul who immediately supported his reasoning for the breakup.

Of course Paul would take his side, Ted thought, why wouldn’t he? Why wouldn’t the whole office? They all knew Bill much longer than they had known Ted. He’d only worked there for a year, so how much did they really know about his true character? Bill, on the other hand, was a sweetheart. After dealing with a difficult divorce and now a fresh breakup? ‘That poor man,’ they’d all think. Ted fumed.

Everyone was going to take Bill’s side. They’re going to hear all about how Ted was a heartless asshole who hates children, is desperate for attention, and doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings.

You know what? Fine.

Fine. If that’s what everyone expects him to be, then that’s what Ted is going to be. There’s no use trying to get on his coworkers’ good sides when it’s his word against Bill Fisher’s. No. If Bill thinks he’s an asshole, well, all the more reason to become one. There’s no way Ted was going to go through that again. No more wearing his heart on his fucking sleeve. Obviously he’s too passionate when he cares about things, so it looks like he’ll just no longer care about anything. So no matter what fucking bullshit Bill decides to spread around about the breakup, there’s no more reputation to destroy. No, Ted gets to do that himself. That’s one thing he knows he has control over.

[lalainajanes]

Hi! idk if you're still taking prompts but can you do one where klaus and caroline are coworker's who are always getting into heated screaming matches during team meetings and everyone who works with them is just used to it, but the new girl is like wtf??? and then later finds out that they're actually married and don't hate each other?? thanks!! your writing gives me life

Obviously I could not resist fluff day! For Step Two of @klarolineshippersclub 12KCXmas event!

With Friends Like These

The office is deserted – its 7 PM on a Friday – so Caroline’sstartled by the sound she hears coming from the hall. It’s a staccato series oftaps. Heels, eating up the distance quickly, and she rolls her chair back,grabbing her phone from the corner of the desk just in case someone’s bleeding.

She’s about to go and see what’s happening, when Kat barrelsin. Her eyes are wide with what Caroline suspects is glee, her hair a wildwindblown mass of curls. Her jackets only half buttoned and she tosses asideher purse, rushing towards Caroline. “You will not believe what I just heard!”

Caroline lets herself be shaken, taking another confusedlook at Kat’s dishevelment. “Did you run from the bar? Thought you were goingto try to seduce the new guy.”

Katherine looks offended. “Try? Please. Mason’s a sure bet.He’ll keep until next week.”

“Wow,” Caroline drawls. “Something came up that’s kept youfrom guaranteed sex? Must be big.”

Katherine lets go of her, tossing her hair over her shoulderand letting out an irritated huff. “Yeah, yeah, mock me. We don’t all get to scheduleregular freaky married sex.”

It takes a fair amount of willpower not to tear her eyesaway and Caroline lifts her chin stubbornly. Katherine might know far too many details about her and Klaus’ sex life butthat was only because Caroline gets a little over share-y when tequila’sinvolved in a girl’s night out. Klaus is shameless enough not to care, evenwhen Kat’s comments get overly pointed. If anything, he leans into it, lets hishands linger and does his best to make Caroline blush. Caroline is working onbuilding up the same aplomb in the face of Kat’s suggestive smirks and taunts.

“You seem to do just fine in the freaky sex department,” shesnipes back.

Katherine grins, slow and very pleased with herself. “Ireally do.”

Caroline groans, walking over to the couch that lines onewall of her office. “I do not want to have this conversation with you.”

Her dry spell is hours away from ending and she’s really looking forward to it.

Klaus has been gone for ten days, dealing with inspectionsfor the new hotel the company is opening in London. Caroline’s team is busy puttingtogether room concepts so she hadn’t been able to justify taking the time awayto accompany him.

She likes phone sex as much as the next girl whose husbandhas a hot accent but it got old after a few days. She misses having a warm bodyto roll into at night; the way he wakes he scrapes his morning beard againsther shoulder when she grumbles about the alarm.

“Someone’s cranky!” Katherine sings. She circles Caroline’sdesk, helping herself to the bourbon that’s stashed in the lowest drawer. “Mynews might not help you.”

Oh joy.

Caroline slouches low, letting her legs flop ratherungracefully, “And yet, you rushed all the way back here to tell me about it?”

“It’s just too hilarious. I couldn’t not.”

Katherine’s sense of humor is a weird thing, an acquiredtaste, so Caroline braces herself. “Alright, hit me.”

“Uh uh. Let me set the scene.”

“And people say I’m dramatic.”

Kat ignores the complaint, lifting the bottle high. “There Iam, in the ladies room…”

“Taking off your panties so you could stuff them in Mason’spocket?”

“Please. Like you’ve never used that move.”

Caroline could honestly say she hadn’t (Klaus likes toremove her lingerie himself) but Katherine’s already continuing her tale. Sheperches on the edge of Caroline’s desk, wiggling in an effort to getcomfortable.

So it’s not going to be a short story. Caroline presses herlips together, holding in a sigh, glancing at the clock. She’s supposed to grabKlaus from the airport at eleven and she’d planned go home and change intosomething easier to remove beforehand. Hopefully Katherine can resist the urgeto embellish too extensively.

“I’m minding my own business, about to flush, when I hear afamiliar name.”

“Yours?”

“Nope, yours. Preceded and followed by some very colorfuldescriptors.” She pauses expectantly, eagerly watching for Caroline’s reaction.

Only to be disappointed when Caroline shrugs, emitting onlya dismissive, “Somehow I’ll survive.” The last time she’d really been overlyconcerned with other people liking her she’d owned pom poms.

Katherine, however, isn’t finished.

“Really? Even when I tell you that our little bathroomgossiper had very complimentary things to say about your hubs?”

Her hands curl into the couch’s cushions, a teeny flare ofjealousy flaring bright.

She’s an only child and she gets a little possessive, okay?Klaus is into it. He’s also no stranger to getting growly and shooting murdereyes and staking a claim and, since he’s got a bajillion siblings, he doesn’t evenhave the same justification for being bad at sharing.

Those incidents usually result in an immediate need forprivacy (or the reasonable facsimile found behind a locked office door or thebackseat of a car). The next day they’ll sleep in, there will be hickies on herthighs and scratches on his back, and they’ll eat dessert for breakfast.

Honestly, Caroline kind of loves that particular ritual,knows very well that Klaus does too.

“Not everyone thinks Klaus is awful,” Caroline points out.

“Because most people are dumb and lack my excellent taste.”

Caroline eyes the bottle, seriously considering chugging abit and just calling a cab when it’s time to collect Klaus. She really doesn’twant to be drunk for their reunion but, if Kat doesn’t hurry up and get to apoint, it might be her best option. “I love you so I’m going to ignore the factthat you kinda just called me dumb.”

Katherine scoffs, “You’re not dumb, just dickmatized.”

It’s probably a good thing she’s not drinking because shewould have choked. Caroline’s laugh sputters out, grows in volume, and she hasto cover her mouth when it becomes hard to control herself. Her eyes water alittle as she finally manages to stop giggling, “Yeah, I’m totally tellingKlaus that you said that. He’ll take it as a compliment.”

“Literally the only nice thing I’ll ever say about him isthat you’re far more bearable and less uptight than you used to be. I creditthe regular orgasms.”

She and Katherine had been hired at about the same time and,in the beginning, hadn’t gotten along overly well. Kat now headed The MikaelsonGroup’s marketing team, was a wizard at luring in celebs and influencers andmaking their hotels a coveted destination. Caroline had worked her way up torun a design team. It’s how she’d met Klaus (and they’d butted heads too in theearly days) coordinating with him and his architect minions.

“I, too, am a big fan,” Caroline admits. “Though, honestly,you should really give cuddling a try. Totally relaxing.”

“Ew, pass.”

It’s an argument they’ve had before.

“Anyway,” Katherine says, so loudly that Carolineinstinctively glances towards the door. “Back to my story. Greta Martin thinksyou should stop being a total bitch to Klaus in meetings. Oh, and she’s alsoplanning on banging him.”

Caroline sits up, now outraged. “I am not…”

Katherine cuts her off, “You have been a little snippy thisweek.”

Only because Klaus has been baiting her.

“That’s just how we are. He pokes, I prod. He’s annoyinglysmug, all ‘oh, aren’t I the cleverest?’ and I like to knock him down.”

“Verbal foreplay is your thing,” Katherine says, adding aknowing nod.

She throws her hands up, collapsing back again. “Exactly! Mymarriage is freaking great and if that…”

Again, she doesn’t get to work up to a proper rant. Superannoying.

“That’s the best part!” Katherine crows. “She has no ideayou and Klaus are married! Talk about dumb people.”

Well, that’s mollifying. Slightly. Caroline will just haveto make things clear. Plans begin to form. She discards the racier ones (unlessGreta proves to be unwilling to take a hint). She twists her wedding bandabsently, “How has she not noted the rings?”

“Forget the rings. How she hasn’t noted Klaus’ doofybesotted face whenever you walk into a room is the bigger issue. Maybe sheneeds glasses?”

Maybe Caroline will get her assistant to shoot Greta anemail detailing the company’s excellent insurance coverage on Monday.

She hears the bottle clink and she shakes off her mentallists, shooting Katherine a glare. “You know, it would have been easy for youto clear up her misconceptions in that bathroom.”

Kat’s brows rise and she shoots Caroline a look like she’ssaid something totally insane. “And deprive myself of prime workplace drama?Please. You know how bored I get on Wednesdays when I have to sit in those dumblegal meetings.”

Caroline’s displeasure must read on her face because Kattosses her a bright smile, leaning forward and offering the bottle. Her toneturns placating, “Oh, relax, Cupcake. It’s harmless. You’ll probably forget allabout this little snafu over the weekend.”

Caroline’s does have big plans.

“Maybe,” she allows grudgingly. She stands, straighteningher pencil skirt. “Speaking of, I should go home and make myself pretty.”

“You’re going to do that gross airport make out thing, aren’tyou?”

Caroline smiles, not trying to hide the slightly mockingedge to it. “Usually, yeah. But Elijah’s not a guy who tolerates a scene.”

She relishes the freezing of Katherine’s body, the wideningof her dark eyes. Her hand flexes, looking for the bottle that had recentlybeen clutched there.

Caroline withholds it, setting it down and out of reach.

She’s not entirely sure what had gone down at the Christmasparty last year (Katherine was way better at keeping secrets no matter how muchliquor was applied) but she knows Kat’s red lip had been rubbed off and Elijah’svest had been buttoned incorrectly when she and Klaus had met the odd couple atthe elevator bank.

Kat had twitched a little at the mention of Elijah’s nameever since.

She adopts her sweetest expression, “Maybe the legalmeetings will be more exciting when Elijah’s leading them in person, hmm?”

Katherine’s mouth opens. Closes. She wiggles her toes to gether heels back in place before hopping off the desk. “I need to…”

She doesn’t finish her sentence, stalking out of the office.Caroline watches her go, both satisfied and bursting with curiosity. A speechlessKatherine Pierce? Caroline never thought she’d see the day.

She makes a mental note to tell Klaus, to wheedle until heagrees to pump Elijah for info. She didn’t often get bored at work, not whenshe could just pop into Klaus’ office and poke around in his projects. But hehad another trip on his calendar next month.

She won’t turn down a little in office entertainment whilehe’s gone.

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Such Stuff As Dreams Are Made On

Summary: This is all @feelmyroarrrr‘s fault. Word Count: 3422 Fandom: Supernatural Summary: Cassie likes her job as a gerontology nurse, despite dealing with death on what feels like a daily basis. Her patients are lovely and even the ghosts are sweet at her workplace. Until one day they aren’t. Also, I suck at summaries. And love Shakespeare.

I pulled a pair of gloves on, and prepared the syringe, screwing the needle to the hub. Using the discarded wrapper, I snapped the top off the dark amber ampule, and with the filtered tip needle, drew the clear fluid into the syringe. It was a quick process, taking less time than the time it’s take me to describe it. Collecting the rest of my supplies, I headed down the hallway to my patient’s room briskly, slowing my steps as I approached the door. With a practiced and deliberate quiet, I slipped into the patient room, nodding and making eye contact with the husband sitting at the bedside. There were tears glimmering at his eyelids and as he blinked, a tear splashed across his glasses, and trailed down his cheek.

“She’s gone,” his voice broke with the words. “When you left the room she let out this breath and was just - ”

I slipped the syringe into my pocket and pulled the stethoscope from around my neck, skirting Mr. Madison’s seat. Once on the other side of the bed, I carefully slipped the stethoscope under her gown and listened for her heartbeat. After a full minute, I nodded, and checked her eyes for responsiveness before checking the time on my watch.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Madison,” I offered. “Would you like some time alone before we call the doctor and the funeral home?”

“Please.” He managed to nod. I stopped and opened the window a crack before leaving the room.

“Ring the bell if you need anything, and when you are ready I’ll head back down,” I reassured him.

“Why did you open the window?” He asked. I paused and bit my tongue.

“Nurses are a superstitious bunch,” I offered with a self-deprecating laugh. “We all do it. It’s to make sure she knows she can go.”

“Go?” He asked.

“Wherever her spirit needs to be,” I replied with a shrug. “There has to be somewhere better than this room, and opening the window ensures she can get there.”

Mr. Madison tilted his head in appraisal, taking in every part of my appearance. “You don’t strike me as the religious type. But I’d be mighty obliged if you would help me offer a prayer.”

I tried to hide my discomfort with the idea and then nodded. “Of course.” I moved over to stand beside Mr. Madison, and he looked up at me.

“Can you say some words? I don’t trust myself,” he admitted, taking my hand in his. I nodded with a sigh.

“Our revels are now ended. These our actors, As I foretold you, were all spirits and Are melted into air, into thin air: And like the baseless fabric of this vision, The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces, The solemn temples, the great globe itself, Yea all which it inherit, shall dissolve And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff As dreams are made on, and our little life Is rounded in a sleep.”

It was the only thing I could think to say, knowing just how divergent my beliefs were from his and Marieta’s. He looked up and smiled. “Not much about Jesus, but that was nice,” he said. I smiled and squeezed his hand before excusing myself.

Three Months Later…

“Did you open the window when Jed O’Leary died, Cass?” Fran was the most superstitious of us all, and would even crack windows in the dead of winter to ensure we didn’t get any haunts. Because the truth was, we were just as fussed about being haunted as we were about spirits crossing over. Jed O’Leary had been the nastiest old bastard I’d ever had the displeasure of caring for in the years I’d been a nurse. He would hit, and spit, and swear, and threaten. It was one thing to be on the receiving end of that when someone was addled from dementia; it was hard, but you remind yourself they aren’t who they used to be. But Jed, well, Jed had always been a ornery cur. His family was estranged from him, rumour had it because he’d threatened to drown his grandson in the well on his farm for milking a cow improperly. And no one was entirely sure of what had caused the accident that resulted in the loss of his legs. Jed swore it was demons that had done it, but the report from the emergency room visit suggested he’d been drunk and fallen into the thresher. It was a miracle he’d lived. Not that he’d had much life after the accident, choosing to hide in his room with his back to the door, staring out the window and mumbling angrily to himself.

“Wouldn’t have dared to forget,” I replied. “Why?”

“I was down the end of the hall and there was weird noises coming from his room. When I checked, the curtains were billowing and the blinds were flapping against the window sill. But the window was shut,” she replied. I felt an icy shudder run the course of my entire body.

“We could go check?” I suggested. Fran knew there was something different about me. She didn’t outright know what it was that was different, just that I had a better sense of the world beyond the living than she did. She nodded, and I noticed how pale she was. Whatever was in that room had scared her. “I could go on my own, Fran, if you’re frightened.” There was very little that made me feel threatened, and while Jed O’Leary had been a mean bastard, there was nothing about him that scared me. Made me nervous, sure, but nothing that actually scared me. I had enough of my own spooky to my credit to be intimidated by an old man. Even if that old man was a ghost. Fran nodded again and I grabbed a small black pouch from my backpack before heading down to the empty room. It was booked for an admission in the morning, and if there was something otherworldly living in it, I was going to have to force an eviction.

The hall light nearest Jed’s room flickered and went out as I passed it, and I felt the hairs at the back of my neck raise. The door slammed, just as I reached it, and it took a fair bit of rattling before I was able to jam it back open to let me in. Every neuron in my body was telling me to run as I crossed the threshold into the room, the light switch not responding to repeatedly flipping it up and down.

“Jed, I know you’re in here,” I said, keeping my voice low, calm and steady. “But it’s time to go.” I crossed the room and opened the window. “I invite you to leave and pass into the next world.” The window slammed shut, rattling the pane then the door swung closed. I felt an icy dread slide down my spine. Maybe Jed had been right about the demons taking his legs. Maybe taking the rest of him hadn’t been enough. Despite the window having crashed shut, a wind began to blow through the room, and I reached into my bag and hastily drew a small salt circle around myself. My hair, previously being tossed around by the breeze, fell back to my shoulders, and the weight of the dread I’d been feeling began to lift.

I began casting a spell to banish evil from the room, and almost immediately, whatever was present began to protest. A low howl began in the room, and the wind began to rage, throwing furniture from one side of the room to another. I focused on repeating the words of the spell, even as the hospital bed slid toward me, only stopping once it reached the salt. The overbed table flew by my head as the howling became louder.

From the other side of the closed door, I heard someone banging. “Cassie! Cass!” It was Fran. “Cassie, are you okay? I’m coming in!” The doorknob rattled, but didn’t budge, and the howling got louder and louder until I thought my eardrums would split, and I had to scream to hear myself speaking the words of the incantation over the noise crashing around me. The door began to rattle, and then blew outward, off the hinges, slamming into Fran and throwing her against the wall opposite the entry. She screamed, and as I watched, powerless to move, wraithlike claws appeared, tearing first into her uniform, and then into her skin, flaying the skin off of her. Reckless of my own safety, I let out a scream and threw my hands forward, a bright beam of light exploding from them.

And then silence. Fran slumped to the ground, bleeding, and I rushed forward, mindless of protocol, pressing my hands directly against the worst of her wounds, and yelling for help. Fran looked up at me, her eyes glazed, and reached up weakly, wiping under my nose. Her hand came away bloody. “That was some serious Harry Potter shit, Cass,” she mumbled, and closed her eyes. As I screamed for assistance, I felt the energy leaving her body, and knew it was too late. And whatever had been in Jed’s room had escaped before I had managed to banish it.

I was sitting at the nurse’s station, lost in thoughts about what it might have been in Jed’s room that had killed Fran. Management had deemed it an animal attack, and suggested quite strongly to me that if I didn’t toe the party line, I could be put on a medical suspension for mental health. No one wanted to believe that it might not have been a wild cougar, as the coroner had decided. Even I didn’t, not really. I knew what I’d seen though. Despite that, a paycheque was a paycheque, and I couldn’t afford to be short even one. So I kept my story to myself. I was completely lost in thought, staring blankly at the chart in front of me, when someone on the other side of the nurse’s station cleared their throat. I looked up into the faces of two of the best looking guys I’d seen in a long time. They were standing there, in lab coats, one of them wearing a stethoscope awkwardly around his neck.

“Excuse me, Nurse Cassandra?” The shorter of the two asked. He had short, relatively tidy hair, with just a touch of scruff on his jaw. The taller one’s hair was kind of long and somewhat unruly. They were both undeniably gorgeous. I flicked my eyes between them and raised an eyebrow. Nurse Cassandra? What was this, the 1950s? I glanced down at my name tag, and back up to Shorty McShorthair.

“Apparently,” I replied. He smiled, a little flash of nervousness in his eyes.

“I’m Doctor Reynolds. This is Doctor Washburne. We’re from the coroner’s office, looking into the death of Francine McIntyre,” he introduced. I pursed my lips, immediately recognizing the names he’d offered. Pursing my lips, I rose, wondering who they were, and what they were looking for. If they were cops, they could have just flashed badges, and been privy to any info I had. Instead, they were awkwardly dressed in really bad doctor get ups. I could remember the last time I’d seen a doctor in a white coat, let alone the tacky name tags they were wearing. And “Doctor Washburne’s” stethoscope looked cheap, the rubber tubing rigid instead of flexible, with just a diaphragm on the head. You could pick up a better looking toy stethoscope at a dollar store.

“You were there, weren’t you?” Sloppyhair von Loosejeans asked. “When Ms. McIntyre passed? Could you show us where it happened?”

I decided to humour them, despite not really being able to figure out their gig. “Sure. Follow me.” I nodded toward a hallway that was blocked with plastic construction sheeting. “You arrived just in time, they’re going to start the repairs tomorrow. Apparently cougars don’t like being cooped up inside.” I pulled the zipper up and led the guys behind the plastic. I hadn’t been back here since the incident, and the feel of the place was off, like something still lingered in the hallway where Fran was attacked. The guys felt it too, which I thought was interesting.

“Tell me about the resident that lived here?” Shorty asked. I cocked an eyebrow skeptically.

“Well, HIPPA prevents me from sharing a lot of details, and you shouldn’t speak ill of the dead. Let’s just say I hope he found serenity.” I looked him right in the eye as I said it. “And really, the important details are in the public record, Doctor Reynolds.”

He had the decency to look a little embarrassed. I shot at look at his companion, who couldn’t even make eye contact with me. “Too well-known?” He asked, without looking up.

“You should probably familiarize yourself with what doctors actually look like. And lose the fake stethoscope. Most docs don’t carry them, they just steal them from us nurses,” I commented, wryly, patting the pocket on my hip where my stethoscope was coiled.

“Uh, Nurse Ca-” Shorty started. I held up my hand.

“The days of Nurse Ratched are over. My name is Cassandra. You can call me Cassie,” I interrupted. “You guys kinda suck at this. And I don’t really get it. It was a cougar attack. I understand looky-loos coming to check out a grisly murder scene, but this was pretty cut and dried. Someone left the window open, big cat came in, Fran got attacked.” I hated the lie, but no one knew the truth. No one would ever believe the truth.

“Dean, there’s a salt ring on the floor. It’s been broken,” Sloppyhair announced, kneeling down where I’d been standing, running his finger across the crystals, and rubbing them between his fingers. “There’s something mixed with this salt. Powdery.” I kept my breathing steady as Dean knelt beside his buddy. He swept a small amount of it into his hand, and rubbed it between his fingers.

“It’s kinda gritty, Sammy,” he mumbled, obviously thinking he was speaking quietly enough that I wouldn’t hear him. “Goofer dust?”

“Witch?” Sammy asked. My breath caught. These guys were Hunters. Hunters tended to shoot first and ask questions later. I wasn’t safe. Dean looked up at me, his eyes narrowed.

“You know anything about this?” He asked, stepping toward me. I backed up, and put my best act on, shaking my head and trying my best to look frightened. It wasn’t hard. I just remembered the thing that attacked Fran and my heart started racing again. “What really happened, here, Cassie?”

“It’s a long story, and I’m on duty until seven,” I replied, steadying my voice. “And you wouldn’t believe it, even if I told you the truth.”

“You know Lola’s Diner?” He asked. I nodded. “Meet us there after you’re off work. Sam and me, we believe almost anything.”

It was with a certain amount of trepidation that I walked into Lola’s, and found the guys sitting opposite one another at a booth. Dean had a slice of pie in front of him that was easily the size of his head. He gestured to the free spot beside Sam and I slid into the booth. Lola herself brought me a cup of coffee, which was unsurprising because the guys were both really pretty and she had a weakness for handsome, younger, men.

“Cassie, you know these boys?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. I gave her a non-committal look.

“They’re investigating Fran’s death,” I explained. “Had some questions about the cougar.”

“You like cougars?” Fran asked Dean, putting her hand on her hip. “Because -”

“Could I get a slice of pumpkin pie, Lola?” I interrupted, embarrassed on behalf of Dean. Lola winked at me, and walked back to the pie cooler, swinging her hips in a way that emphasized her beautiful curves. “I think she likes you, Dean.”

“She makes good pie,” he offered through a mouthful. “Now, about this cougar attack.”

“It wasn’t a cougar,” I admitted.

“We know,” Sam replied. “It’s kind of why we’re here.”

“So you’re obviously not doctors. I thought maybe cops, but that’s not right either, is it?” I played dumb. Dean smiled across the table at me, shaking his head.

“Just,” Sam paused. “Just tell us what you saw?”

“Okay, first, you need to understand, we’re pretty superstitious at the home,” I started. “We’ve got plenty of haunts in the building, and we try to minimize new additions.”

“Plenty?” Dean raised an eyebrow. “Like how many?”

“Well, there’s Maizie Andrews, but she just sits in the rocker in the sunroom and rocks at night,” I thought out loud. “Stockton Manning was a huge prankster, and has pretty much stayed that way. His usual thing is knocking charts down when you’re alone at night in the nurse’s station. Eva Jones is sometimes seen in the tub room. She loved her bath day and we used to give her so many bubbles. You know she’s been around because the tub room smells like gardenia bubble bath. Those are the one’s we know who they are for sure. There’s a few other mostly harmless spooks kicking around too, but they mostly just jump out to frighten students and new hires.”

“And you’re okay with that?” Sam asked, just a little incredulous. I shrugged.

“It’s a gerontological care facility. People die. Like, all the time,” I replied. “Some of them are going to have unfinished business. Most of them are just scared to move on, I think. Or they had no one to move on to, so they stay with us because we were their only family. We do a pretty good job of releasing people though.”

“Releasing people?” Dean asked.

“You open the window when someone passes, and it lets their spirit out. Only the ones who want to stay will stay. It’s worked pretty well for the last ten years. We’ve never had a malevolent presence. I mean, until -” I trailed off.

“It’s okay,” Sam offered. “We believe you.”

I raised an eyebrow and looked at him. “Like Ghostbusters, then?” Dean smirked.

“Sure. So the cougar was actually a spook?” He asked. I nodded.

“Yeah. There’s no other way to describe Jed other than mean. Apparently death has exaggerated that characteristic,” I replied.

“So Fran, she tried to send him away?” Dean pressed. My eyes widened. He assumed Fran was the witch. Maybe I could continue to play dumb and stay safe.

“I guess so?” I shrugged.

“Did you know she was a witch?” Sam asked. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

“There’s no such thing as -”

“Wait, you believe in ghosts, but you don’t believe in witches?” Dean interrupted. “I don’t know if I buy that, sweetheart.”

“Buy it, don’t buy it, I don’t care,” I shrugged, taking the last bite of my pie. “Anyhow, I had a long day. I’m back on duty at seven am. I need to get some sleep.” I let the glamour I’d been holding up to prevent my exhaustion showing through to drop. It’s not like I’d had a decent night’s sleep since Jed had torn Fran to shreds. Sam twitched beside me like he’d been shocked, and Dean instantly looked over at him, alert. I blinked slowly and tried to keep my movements steady as I pushed away from the table.

“We might want to chat with you again -” Dean started.

“Sure,” I nodded, throwing my backpack over my shoulder and pulling out my phone and earbuds. “Thanks for the pie, boys.” I winked and headed toward the door, sticking my earbuds in my ears and making like I had turned my walking music on. I deliberately fumbled with the device near the door when I heard Dean clear his throat.

“What was that, Sammy?” He asked. “You twitched like someone had tased you.”

“Fran McIntyre isn’t the witch. Cassie is,” Sam said. My blood ran cold and I pushed the restaurant door open, wondering if I should skip town right away, or stick around to see if they were going to hurt me. Like a fool, I was likely going to chose the latter, but I’d set down roots here and I didn’t want to leave. And if I didn’t do anymore magic while the hunters were in town, I would be safe, right?

[joannawoo]

What is HR really?

Industry 4.0, Business 4.0, whatever you want to call it. That's the new buzzword popping up everywhere. If business is changing so much, why isn't HR keeping up? At most, we're maybe at HR 2.5. HR 1.0 was when policies and procedures were brought in along with unions to make sure we didn't put our employees in danger and paid them just enough so they wouldn't want to burn the business down. HR 2.0 was maybe when we actually started to care about people a little bit more. The 2.5 part is now adding in diversity and minimal analytics. When are we going to get to HR 4.0? 

People always think that HR is there to protect the company, not the people. I don't see why HR can't do both. Protecting the company IS protecting the people. Fundamentally at my core, I care about people. Because I care, I will do whatever I can to ensure that the business has sustainable growth year over year. This is important because a healthy business means that more jobs get created with minimal layoffs. Several companies in the region have gone through layoffs recently and hundreds of lives have now been impacted.

So what does HR 4.0 look like? Actually, let's start with HR 3.0 because a lot of businesses aren't even there yet. HR 3.0 is where you care deeply about people and help them grow. Enable them to exceed your expectations. Apply tech design and development practices into HR. Run HR as a business. With HR 4.0, it's mostly figuring out how to balance between technology and human, and running HR as a profitable business. So what does all of this look like in practice?

I wrote an article years ago about applying software design and development principles to HR. This was back in 2015 and sadly the site that hosted the article is no longer around so I can't pull it up but the piece to take away is that when faced with an HR problem, tackle it like a product problem. Analyze the situation, gather information and do research, brainstorm solutions, build the solution, gather feedback and validate that it solves the problem, and iterate. If your recruitment process isn't getting the results you want, run a retro to figure out what you're doing wrong. Too much on your plate? Do some backlog grooming, figure out what will deliver most value with least amount of effort, do some sprint planning. Start talking to your employees and figure out what they want to do in life. When that opportunity comes up, reach out to them. Stop misusing data. Applicant tracking systems love to track "source of hire". You see that 50% of your employees are from Source X, and only 1% of employees from Source Y, so naturally people come to the conclusion that they need to talk to more Source X people. THAT'S WRONG. Plot your source of hire data against employee performance. Don't just settle for where all your employees come from, figure out where your top performers come from. If all your top performers are from Source Y, then your job is to figure out how to increase that 1%. And if you think "top performer" is only defined by one thing, that's wrong too. It's a combination of productivity, impact to company culture, impact on coworker productivity, potential for growth...the list goes on. Stop being so one dimensional. This is all still HR 3.0. 

I don't think too many companies are doing HR 4.0. I know I'm not there yet because I don't have the expertise or capacity to run analytics on certain things. Google's probably the opposite where they've got the analytics and tech piece, but don't have the human side. Let's talk about the easy part first which would be the analytics. We need to start doing more industrial/organizational psychology research to study employees in the workplace. We also need to hire more data scientists into HR to help analyze this data. Humans are so complex. Issues are so divisive nowadays and as a society, more and more people are suffering from mental health issues. Most of the research done was from decades ago. Have we really studied workers in today's world? We've evolved, yet our research has not. I'll use job postings as an example of all the analytics that could be done on an important, but very small piece of HR in the grand scheme. We should be doing tests on what information to include (or not) in job postings, how it affects application rates and quality of candidates, what the length of the job posting should be, different methods of application and what barriers are being created, when to post the job posting, where to post it, do you change the format and content based on where it's posted...that's just the tip of the iceberg. When it comes to sourcing, testing out different reach out messages, how/when to contact a candidate, etc. If it's a junior candidate, how long after they start a new job do you wait before you poach? What if they're an intermediate/senior candidate? Have you studied turnover rates and timing of turnover for certain companies? Then you have the rest of recruitment which is actually so much important than the 2 I just mentioned. And "recruitment" is just 1 of 9 of the mandatory HR courses to take. So think about how much there actually is to know and analyze when it comes to HR. Let that sink in.

Now let's talk about the hard part. How do we balance all the analytics with the human-ness of HR? What is actually the human side of HR and what does it look like? I share so many ideas of how to balance between business and people. Let's start by picking on unlimited vacation. Companies sometimes use this as a tactic to get their employees to take less vacation. That's what the analytics show. It's great for PR, people take less vacation, for a company that wants to take advantage of employees, it's a no brainer to implement this (at an org that has employees that already care about the company). So then if you knew that's what the analytics said and you truly believe the other studies that show employees perform better when they're well rested and feel taken care of, along with the studies that show that underrepresented groups usually take less vacation than their peers because they feel the need to "prove themselves" and to appear hardworking...then maybe HR would change those policies. There are definitely ways to make unlimited vacation less intimidating, usually by implementing a minimum vacation policy and letting people know that on average, people take x number of weeks of vacation, but we've also seen as high as y weeks and that's absolutely fine too, can't even remember who the employee was. Could also monitor vacation time to make sure that there aren't certain groups who tend to take less vacation than everyone else. But really...the better solution is just to get rid of unlimited vacation and give everyone 6 weeks. Typically, people don't take 6 weeks. It's seen as over and above "unlimited". To balance the business though and to ensure that you don't get stuck with millions of dollars of vacation liability, have it only accrue up to 3 weeks and it stops accruing until you actually use up certain days. This way, payout is never more than 3 weeks and employees will be using up vacation throughout the year and getting some breaks in instead of waiting until the end of the year or worse, when they burn out. Next, let's talk about catered meals. Companies sometimes implement it because they think that way it'll save time for employees and they can then spend that time working instead and it's a cost savings overall for the company. The pitch is that we cater lunches though which is a draw for people...FREE LUNCH! (There is no free lunch in life as my dad always says.) It's a taxable benefit, it's usually not the healthiest meal, there are food allergies or preferences not considered, employees complain about the food options, etc. For any company who truly believes that they want to improve lives of employees and offer them a good healthy meal at work, why not bring in fresh groceries and have a meal prep station at work? It doesn't need to be a full kitchen (but that'd be super nice!), but have some way of cooking meals at work. This way, employees choose what food they want to eat and you're helping them build life skills and teaching them how to cook. The analytics part? Have you ever considered how many people are becoming complacent at your place of work because of these perks or the golden handcuffs you've placed on them? Are they still passionate about their jobs or are they only there for the free lunch? Don't even get me started on catered dinner. People should be going home to their families for dinner, not stick around until a certain time just to get a "free meal" out of it. Look into the analytics of how a strong social network and family life outside of work can affect someone's job performance. This is why I have always believed that we need to do whatever we can to help people be successful outside of work. Whenever a new father tells me that him and his partner are expecting, yes I'll go through all the parental stuff with him, but I also tell him these are the entitlements his spouse is eligible for at their place of work, and advise him on how to best support his partner through this, and if his partner decides to take time off work to later transition back in, how to help with that transition. I help employees' friends and family members find jobs, because I believe that if a company truly cares about an employee, they'll also care about that employee's extended network. Think about the studies that talk about how personal lives can affect performance at work. If a company can do more to help people remove stressors from their personal lives as well, then that employee will have so much more positive energy to put into their work. Salary negotiations, most people hate these. If a company actually cared, they'd pay their employees as much as they can that is fair before the employee has to ask for it. When people have to ask, it taxes that relationship. People like to be recognized and should be paid what they're worth. Just because someone is an inexperienced negotiator doesn't mean they're inexperienced at their job (unless you're a lawyer maybe? or a salesperson?). Why not just be transparent with salary all the time? I find that it's usually an easy conversation for me in terms of, this is what I think you could be making anywhere else based on your skills, but this is the money we have right now. Or I don't think your skills are there yet, here are some goals for you to meet before you can get this salary. If a candidate gives you a salary expectation lower than your actual range, do you really think you can just go with their number and get away with it? People will talk. That employee will find out that they lowballed themselves and then they'll resent you and just leave for another company. Is it really worth it when you think about all the money you'll now need to spend to backfill the role and retrain someone? Look at the costs of onboarding. There's your analytics piece and now figure out how you can treat people like humans first of all and then secondly as adults so that they don't leave your organization and will also give you 100% of themselves at work. Let's be realistic here, most companies only get about 40-60% of their employees' focus/performance potential. 

I could probably go on forever about what HR 4.0 looks like, considering I've spent the last 72 hours (on and off) writing this. FFS just treat people better and get some data to back up why you should treat people better. I do what I do because I believe that's how you help grow a business; you start by growing the people. When you do a good job at taking care of the people, the people will take care of the business. 

P.S. I've had so many people thank me for doing what I've been doing lately with the layoff stuff, telling me how they've never met anyone who cared so much...stop thanking me. This is what being a good human being means and what we should all be doing. Again, I'm not particularly kind. I'm just trying to be a good person and ideally, this is what an average person should look like and the things I talked about above are what every average company should be doing. Let's create change together.