#in fairies. just wanted a fun naming party from what i've read)

[iliothermia]

Thought process as I work on drawing for dark fairy zine: he is bad little fairy = he is wet and angry

[whirlpool-blogs]

whirlpool's personal MOTA fic recs!

I've actually been dying to put this together for a while now...today is as good an excuse as any! I might not know everyone's tumblrs vs ao3 names so I will NOT be offended if you tell me to correct something!! <3

the big list = going alphabetical order in my folder because YES I do download my favorites, it's like having your own little bookshelf!!

non-clegan fics:

nine mothers' sons by @reallylilyreally (truly beautiful, breathtaking, and **THE** John Brady bible for the fandom so make sure you pray to it every night)

at your heels by @reallylilyreally (this one is Ev Blakely, another really beautiful story that helps you understand just why Crosby's memoir speaks of Blakely with such love and affection)

clegan (or gale-centric, or john-centric) fics:

A Direct Solution by @sweaterkittensahoy (Gale & Marge proposition Bucky...so cute and so hot)

ain't it easy? by @stereobone (dom/sub with john as the dom but ohhh man it's so much more than just that!!!!! this fic is so full of FEELS. and it's also HOTTTT. and also the FEELSSSSS.)

all the rest of what I want with you by @london-cowboy (the level of care that went into writing this fic is insane and impeccable. down to its own internal timeline, little egan kiddos, and the ANGST. but it's all worth it, I promise!!)

back home where you're from, that's the measure of a man by wolfhalls (nice little oneshot of the bucks, I love the back-and-forth of their dialogue in this one, it really does feel like two people who know each other well)

bittersweet between my teeth by @blixabargelds (post-war adjustment...love when the two majors are a little messy and a little sad and also john calls gale the prettiest thing he ever saw so there's that <3)

bluebirds singing a song by ourdarkspirits (Marge jumps Bucky's bones. Then Gale joins. Super fun, super hot!)

Close and Yet Closer by Anonymous (LITERALLY THE MOST!!!!!! FIC OF ALL TIME!!!!!!! Gale is a little bit mean and John is a lot bit sweaty. Like all the time. it's amazing and you should read it and it WILL change your life.)

Corpse Song by birdwif (oof. john is miserable in the stalag he's scratching at the door he's gnawing his own leg off.)

deep breath baby by @defnotanarc (um FISTING. yeah. intense and delicious. side note sometimes the world isn't fair and people who are really talented and amazing at drawing are also really good WRITERS too LIKE WTF!!)

DOG DINNER by @wompire (super interesting writing style, extremely poetic and striking. hits you right in the gut.)

everything and the kitchen sink by @swifty-fox (YEAH THIS ONE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE TOO. modern au where gale is a professional dom and john is a journalist who hornily consents to both (1) fucking around, and (2) finding out. in top ten fics of the decade in general tbh)

Freed From Desire by @feyd-meowtha (yoooooo such a fun and free and sexy fic!!! such a great writing style and such a cool remix of all the characters we know and love!)

He wears his love around his neck by kasugayamaisforlovers (Gale character study, he tries to run his little gay thoughts away which is always so fun to see)

hold me like a knife by storm_warning (tw: self-harm, this REALLY gets into John's self-destructive stalag spiral and it's super visceral and wet and heart-wrenching and written with such, such care and precision)

Hound Within the Heart by Anonymous (fairy-tale esque, gets super crazy and pushes the limits of reality but in the best ways possible)

I Don't Wanna Be Alone Tonight by @johnslittlespoon (cuddling for warmth <3 and then a little more <3 <3 so sweet and intimate!!)

I Like A Bad Boy by @nicijones (modern college AU and bucky is a fratty fuckboy type & in this fic he DOES punch a guy for Gale and it's all very hot and sweet and a delight to read)

i wish you wouldn't tell me (about your hawaiian party) by @whitetrashjj (when the fuckbuddies thing gets messyyyyyy because gale catches feelingsssssss, so delicious and meaty!!)

if that isn’t love, it’ll have to do by @irregularcollapse (ALWAYS such incredible character reads from this author, never misses. also facefucking. also FACEFUCKING <3)

i'll be seeing you by @puffanities (a quick 1.6k oneshot but still packed with some really great characterization and powerful language!! 'when the numbers of planes don’t match...')

i'll find you before the dust settles by butidontreallycare (a Westworld AU!! super cool)

in our bedroom after the war by @stereobone (one of those fics that's just like. a pillar of the community, y'know? iconic. classic. eternal.)

Into the Unknown by Melanie_Mikaelson (big win for john whump enjoyers. BIG win. like 20+ chapters of winning)

it ain't for meatball by @meyerlansky (Curt/Bucky. Curt puts the dog collar on Bucky....and it's HOTTTT arf arf i'm barking just like bucky is in this fic...)

It's Not Love, but It's Fun by @sweaterkittensahoy (Curt/Bucky, 500 words so it's short and sweet just like Curt ahahahaha, ANYWAY still such an interesting little read regardless!)

judgment by the hounds by @puffanities (PG, very visceral and tender apology after the stalag fight scene <3)

level-off maneuvers by wormringers (sweet little oneshot of the Bucks in London)

little fix by ForASecondThereWedWon (Algeria <3 <3 you just kNOW those two gay pilots were sniffing and huffing and licking each other's sweat.....this author GETS it)

love means nothing (in tennis) by @irregularcollapse (fics that make you go WEEEEEEEE!!!! every word, every physical action that these characters take is SO precise and well-written. truly like wrapping a soft bathrobe around yourself and also the bathrobe is incredibly sexy and also they're sucking each other off post-game but PRE-shower. also gale's dad!! also margie!! truly such a well crafted AU)

make you feel alive by @sig-nifier (really sweet little oneshot of gale being a little protective of john. and i am ALWAYS a sucker for the 'call off your dog' trope... and it's done perfectly here!)

meet me at the chapel by @swifty-fox (still in-progress and SUCH a creative, inventive universe!! outlaw john you will always be famous to me!!!!)

my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder by @swifty-fox (swift can really weave a story like no one else. so many lines that pack a punch. and in the end, they make it <3)

my type by @spaceshipkat (this one is SOOOOO well-written, I always go so crazy for the dialogue!!! such a great push-pull dynamic in this fic)

night terror by @antiquitea (hot! and sweet! and HOT! and angsty!!!!! highlights include: gale gives john a literal countdown deadline to get off)

Obligate Mutualism by bowhuntress (Gale-centric story of trying to get John through the stalag, then returning the England without Bucky, a fic very obviously written with a lot of care and love)

obsessions, and other things by @sig-nifier (the Bucks cope. really great pacing and dialogue, and I always love when fics take the care to delve into john's struggle with alcoholism as well)

of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world (he walks into mine) by @whitetrashjj (really fun parallel universe where Buck owns a bar, just a great read all-around!)

Oh, I do, do I? by @defnotanarc (DIRTY TALK, like the most delicious, incredible dirty talk you can imagine, this fic nails it!!)

One of your Girls by @soliloquy-dawn (9k oneshot and it's great all the way through, Gale is jealousssss of John fucking around, don't worry they resolve it <3, definitely captures that innocence of pre-Bremen MOTA episodes)

peacetime like a liminal space by @spaceshipkat (this one is PHENOMENAL. post-war, John goes to New York City and turns out it doesn't fill the emptiness. luckily Gale shows up. <3)

Putting Words to It by @impalachick (YEAH THIS ONE IS REALLY HOT. John is a snoop and reads Gale's letters to Marge <3)

Reunited by Flowersandthings (PG, cute & funny oneshot of the Bucks being reunited after Gale makes it over from Greenland!)

Reverie by @avonne-writes (REALLY creative, well-crafted story. Gale and John are soulmates and can visit each other's dreams since adolescence. INCREDIBLE journey and arc in this story, the stalag part is just wow. truly such a gift to the fandom!!).

Rugire by Anonymous (umm omegaverse-ish but with deer dynamics. messy. and SO good.)

SHOTGUN. by pornogirl (YEAH this one is awesome, it's not safe it's not sane but oh boy it is consensual)

Song of Songs by @swifty-fox (sweaty sex sweaty sex sweaty sex)

Spin, Sit, Roll-Over by @glumbabie (Gale is a little mean to John and it's VERY sexy of him tbh. 'DOGS DON'T TALK'???? 'YOU CAN EAT'???????? yeah. read this.)

the chimneys hardly ever fall down by @redbelles (another Gale/Marge + John, and it's HOT. it's SEXY it's awesome!!)

the hand of a good man by @stereobone (John rewrites Gale's daddy history <3)

the jacket by @dogmetaphors (REALLY great sense of dialogue and characterization even in 1.6k words, also shamelessly horny and SO yummy)

The Major’s Wife by tryingmyhandatwriting (John/Original Female Character but like. give this one a chance, I'm telling you!! I'm always soooo compelled by sex scenes that like. are actually a little bit unhappy. and this one SERVESSSSS.)

this must be the place by @blixabargelds (BIG win for Gale whumpers. broken bone and LOTS of blood and super well-written)

To be alone with you by Damn_Illusive (THIS ONE IS SO, SO SPECIAL AND CREATIVE!! freaky army experimentation gives gale and john telepathic communication. incredible separation arc while gale is in the stalag. really, really unique story that is such a staple in my mind as one of the the most incredible clegan stories ever. I think about this one A LOT!!!)

To the Moon and Back by @rambleonwaywardson (iconic astronaut AU, written with SUCH care and love, it's so obvious!! and BIG win for john whumpers. who said that -)

Tough And Sweet (Like You And Me) by @johnslittlespoon (sooo fun and creative and inventive, Bikeriders-esque!Gale and a sweeter, more innocent John. really well crafted)

trading paper dolls by ForASecondThereWedWon (Alex draws Gale pinup girl style in the stalag.....John swipes it.... super great fic!)

two slow dancers by everywordnotsaid (unrequited love, John for Gale, through their journey. I genuinely, actually sobbed for a long time at the conclusion of this fic. I am always thinking about this fic. I think it really captures something about the experience of watching the show and realizing in that hopeless, lovesick kind of way that there's no way to go back in time and save all of them. I still get teary whenever I think about this story or hear the song. It's one of those fics that's not just good, not just great, but somehow also really fucking IMPORTANT. this story MATTERS. you should absolutely read it and save it and imprint it onto your heart. I know it's imprinted onto mine.)

Un Chant d’Amour by @counting0nit (really intriguing take on the interrogation center time frame!)

unicorns, and other extinct animals by @spaceshipkat (really, really incredible reading experience. something that actually touches other aspects of my life, even now. I see planes overhead and I think about this fic. I see letters on a table and I think about this fic. just. this author GETS IT, you know? just absolutely nails every aspect of this kind of fic: post-war adjustment, the pain, the LOVE. this fic will make you FEEL it. let it happen.)

Up In Our Bedroom by @steeseman (ICONIC. really one of those pillars of the community type fics, y'know? it's funny and it's sweet and it's painful and the hot parts are HOT. clearly written with SO much care, and SO much love, and SO much precision. every single word packs a punch. absolutely one of my top reads of all time, across time, across fandoms)

When the bones are good by @aramblingjay (a really incredible post-war fic, such a beautiful, rich writing style!! isn't afraid to dig at the hard parts - john's relationship with alcohol, their nightmares from the war. stunning visuals -- the author uses setting and place and motion in such a tangible, real way. I can still see the little hideout spot in my mind's eye, even now. one of those fics that's just. such a treasure to the fandom.)

your dreams, whatever they be by @drylite (this one is super new, and it's just SUCH solid writing!)

You're A Dog (I'm Your Man) by @johnslittlespoon (one of those fics that's a pillar of the fandom for SURE!!! definitely a classic)

[lostfirefly]

Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true, deep down inside we want to believe they still do

I haven't written for the reader for a long time. Sorry guys. I was a little emotionally exhausted. As always, this fic was not planned and was born here. I had fun writing it, I hope you enjoy it too. The name of the fic was inspired by Buggy's daughter question about love. English isn't my native language, errors may occur. As always, feel free to share your thoughts :)

Buggy and F!Reader - Masterlist is here.

Description: Buggy tells a fairy story to children.

Warnings: Buggy is talking nonsense, fun, Impel Down vibes (woooohooo!)

WC: 5467 (this's the longest fic for the reader I've ever written, haha)

Taglist: @gingernut1314, @operationroots, @buggy-samaaa, @hey-august (i hope you don't mind), @emmiebugz-blog (in case you missed it)

The title is taken from “Ever Ever After” by Carrie Underwood.

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“Please, Elodie, Oak and Blandina, calm down!” You stood beside one bunk bed and one regular bed and, and tried to put on your son's pajamas. “Bedtime!”

“We don't want to sleep!” With glee, they replied, and showed their tongues.

“Oh my God, you're going to drive me crazy, just like your father!” You watched as the three kids started running around you. 

They were your and Buggy's kids. The oldest was a boy named Oak, he was 8. Buggy named him that because he thought the baby reminded him of a tree trunk in the first few months after birth. Oak was an exact copy of his father. With blue hair, green eyes, a red nose and a bad clown temper. He loved spending evenings with Buggy on the deck, rummaging through papers and maps, and diligently imitated his father in everything. You were incredibly amused by the look of frustration on their faces every time when you wouldn't let them launch the Buggy Ball.

“Where's daddy? We went to his office this afternoon, but he wasn't there.” In unison came the sad voices of two girls.

Elodie and Blandina, two twins, and they were six. You hadn't planned any more children since your first son, but one day, after a successful island robbery and a big party to celebrate it, Buggy didn't hold back and two weeks later you realized you were pregnant. At first, you thought he'd be upset, but he was happy. 

During both of your pregnancies, Buggy read a lot of books, and honestly, you didn't expect that. During your breakfasts and dinners together, he was constantly telling you what he had read in books. If a book mentioned eating a certain fruit for health during pregnancy, this fruit showed up on the ship soon. Buggy stole the baby's crib (okay, he stole everything for the babies). The crew was exhausted by the end of your pregnancy because Buggy kept sending them to islands to get things (beds, toys or anything else) or food he had read about in books. 

He was hoping for the birth of two more boys, whom he planned to raise as the eldest son and then organize a family crime guild, but two girls were born. Buggy jumped with happiness when he saw them and immediately named them Elodie and Blandina. Elodie was also born with blue hair, but she inherited your eye color, she was five minutes older than Blandina, and she was always reminding her sister of that. Blandina had green eyes and your hair color, and a nose like Buggy. And every time Elodie reminded her that she was older, Blandina poked her nose and said she looked more like her father. Unfortunately, all your kids inherited Buggy's personality. 

“Mommy, where's daddy?” Elodie crossed her arms and jumped into the bed. 

“Your dad is busy. He'll be here soon. He has to finish his captain's business, and then he's going to look over the ship to make sure we're safe and come over to say goodnight.” You sat down next to Elodie, and Blandina, with Oak, immediately jumped on the bed, curling up next to you. 

“Daddy doesn't love me. He left his cabin this afternoon and didn't wait for me. I brought him tea, but he wasn't there.” Blandina frowned and buried her forehead in her knees.

“What are you talking about, sweetheart? He loves you very much. Do you know how he'd been waiting for all of you? He used to put his head on my belly every night and talk to you. I'm sure if he knew his sweet Blandina was coming with tea, he would have waited for you.” You nuzzled your daughter's head. 

“Tomorrow, dad promised to show me how to make a bomb! Cool!!” Oak rolled from his back to his buttocks with joy. “I’m so excited!!”

“And daddy promised to get me the most delicious ice cream. He's gonna use his powers and steal me the most delicious ice cream!!!” Elodie showed her tongue to Oak.

“I want ice cream too!” Blandina raised her head and looked at you. “Why won't daddy steal me ice cream?” She started sobbing.

“Because I'm five minutes older than you! He loves me more since he's known me a whole five minutes longer.” Elodie showed her palm with five fingers and tongue again. 

“Elodie, stop it! Daddy loves you all equally!” You said sternly but calmly. 

“Relax, Blandina.” Oak lay on his back, one leg crossed over the other, and started dangling his leg. “Our dad is like superman. He's going to split up and bring us all ice cream.” He put his hands behind his head. “God, that's so cool that he can do that. Why can't I do that? Mom, why didn't you think this through?”

“How was I supposed to think this through?” You rolled her eyes and hugged Blandina tightly.

“Damn! Why is it not hereditary?” Oak gasped and rolled sharply onto his buttocks. “Should I eat that fruit too?” 

“Over my dead body, Oak!” You slapped his head lightly.

“Ouch, why?” He scratched the top of his head. “That's so cool! I'll be like dad!” 

“You won't be able to swim, dummy!” Elodie said in a mocking voice and lightly tapped her brother on the head.

“Yeah, your dad loved it and misses it a lot.” You exhaled sadly.

“Hm.. I didn't think about that. Damn!” Oak lightly punched the knee. “Then I want a coat and a hat like his. And then, when I grow up, I'll gather my own crew and build my own ship. And dad and I will be the most formidable alliance in all the seas.” 

“Of course you will, sweetie!” You kissed your son on the cheek.

“Damn, mom! Stop doing that!” Oak wiped his cheek. “I bet dad doesn't like it, so I don't like it!” 

“Oh, you are so wrong!” You giggled. “Okay, everyone, let's go to bed, I'm going to tell you a story.” You nudged all the kids into their beds, covered the girls and Oak with a blanket, and sat down in a chair. “Okay, listen. Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess…”

“Hoooray!! A love story!!” The girls gave each other high-fives. 

“Oh, no! Not about the princess! Ew!” Oak crinkled his face. “Why do I have to listen to these snotty pink stories forever? There was a princess, she sat in a castle, then a prince of unreal beauty came to her, saved her from a dragon, or a witch or another creature, and they had a wedding to a song the birds sang happily to them. Bla-bla! That sucks! I want a normal fairy tale! Tell me a normal fairy tale, mom! About pirates and treasure. Shit!” 

“Oak! Watch your language! There are girls here!” You walked over to his bed and covered him with a second blanket. “I'm going to tell your father ever~!”

You didn't have time to finish the sentence before you heard the nursery door close with a clatter, and the scolding and shuffling of heavy footsteps came from the next room. 

“Dad!!!” Oak jumped up from the bed. 

“Quiet!” You grabbed your son's hand and reached under the bed for the bat with your other hand. 

A few months ago, when Buggy was away from the ship, the vessel was attacked by small-time pirates. They were hoping to find treasure on the Big Top, but they didn't make it in time. Buggy and part of the crew returned just as the pirates from that small ship broke into the nursery. Gangers, along with the part of the crew that missed the attack, quickly went overboard. Buggy screamed at the whole crew all evening, and it took you a lot of effort to calm him down.

“Buggy, is that you?” You shouted toward the other side of the room, holding back your son, who was already ready to run that way. 

“Yes! Do I need to tap our secret code or can I log in already?” A tired, hoarse voice came from behind the door. “Fuck, I'm exhausted!” Buggy piled into the bedroom and flopped into a chair and silently raised his hand, greeting everyone.

“DAD!!!” The girls yelled with glee.

“FINALLY!!” Oak pulled out of your arms and ran onto Buggy's lap. “Mom thought it was bandits again, but I wasn't even scared. At all! I would have protected everyone, like you did then. When I remember how you scattered everyone with your abilities then, and then threw everyone overboard, it gives me goosebumps!! Where have you been? Oh, oh! What are we going to do tomorrow? The bombs? Are you going to show me how to shoot them? And how to throw knives? Oh, I want to learn to read maps like you!” He rubbed your husband's tired body. 

Husband. You've been married for two years. One morning, Buggy decided that after 10 years of a relationship and three children, he needed to propose to you. Buggy called you into the nest, where, to the sound of fireworks and music, he proposed to you. You got married when your daughters were four. The wedding celebration dragged on for two weeks because a wedding to Buggy - implies the flashiest and sometimes strangest wedding ever. He took you to several islands, each of which he threw a ceremony with the brightest fireworks, the biggest noisy party and the biggest cake. And Buggy had an ulterior motive for this: he wanted every person on every island to know that you became his wife.

“Oak, stop torturing your father.” You walked up to your husband's tired body and kissed his head. “Hi! Is everything okay?” You watched him remain silent. “Want some tea?” 

Buggy nodded. 

“I'll get it now.” You kissed him again and walked to the other side of the room.

“So,”  Buggy exhaled and patted his son on the shoulder, “what did my Buggy Gang do today?”

“We played with dolls with mom and helped her cook pasta, but it didn't work out and everything burned.” Blandina said in a very upset voice and was about to cry when she hid under her pink blanket. “I thought you were hungry. I wanted you to have lunch, but I ruined it.”

“So it was you who made this delicious pasta? I don't know, I tried it, and it was tasty.” Buggy took Oak's hand and led him to the bed where Blandina was laying. They both plopped down on the bottom bunk. 

“Really? Did you like it?” She lifted the blanket and looked at Buggy with wide, wet eyes. 

"Of course, my jelly bean!" Buggy patted Blandina and nodded. 

It took you a long time to teach Buggy to answer children like that, because before, and even now, he sometimes doesn’t filter his words. Blandina crawled out from under the blanket, sat on his lap and hugged him tightly. Buggy kissed his daughter on the top of her head. 

“I wanna join you too!!” Elodie looked at Blandina on her father's lap, her brother under his arm, and immediately jumped down to them, settling under Buggy's other arm. 

You came back into the room with a large cup of tea, a box of chocolates and small sandwiches, looked at the family picture and smiled widely. “God, you are so cute. You could be on the cover of the World's Greatest Pirate Family magazine right now.” You put the tray next to the bed and handed the cup of tea to Buggy, “Never in my life did I think I would fall in love with a handsome captain who would take me away with him and then have three beautiful children.”

“Oh, mom, please don't tell me that saccharine story about how you saw dad drunk in torn shoes. Every time it ends with those two in tears!” Oak rolled his eyes and pointed at his sisters. “Crybabies!”

“Hey, buddy! I wasn't wearing torn shoes!” Buggy gently slapped his son on his shoulder and looked at you.

“Are you kidding me, Buggy? I almost saw your socks! Sorry, my dear clown, but I remember very well how you crashed into me drunk, then fell to the ground and almost hit me in my nose.” You sipped your tea and took candy. 

“This is so romantic!” The girls sighed in unison. “Even though daddy almost broke mommy's nose, she helped him up and took him to her house, gave him some tea and treated his wounds. And dad fell in love with mommy, didn't he?” Four round eyes looked at Buggy. 

“Yes, jelly beans, that's how it was.” Buggy shifted his gaze to you and winked. “Your daddy fell under the spell of mommy's kindness and beauty.”

“And then you brought her tea from everywhere. And you still do this. I saw it. I’m smart. Not only that, but I notice everything.” Blandina took each of Buggy's fingers in turn. “It's very romantic. I hope my future husband will do the same.” 

“If he won't do that, Blandina,” Buggy touched the tip of his daughter's nose, “I'll rip his di-.” 

“Buggy!” You quickly pulled him up with a shout. “Choose your words!”

“Noo, not romance again!! Dad, tell us a NORMAL story!!” Oak tugged at Buggy's hand. 

“I don't know, Oak, I'm tired. Maybe tomorrow?” Buggy sipped his tea and exhaled tiredly. 

“Ple-e-ease!!!” All three children begged in unison. 

“You can't get away with it, dad. I wanna hear a story too.” You giggled and settled more comfortably in the chair. 

Buggy looked at your mocking face and shook his head. “Okay. The story.. The story.. Oh, I know! Once upon a time, there lived a girl in a castle..”

“Are you kidding me? What’s the bullshit?” Oak slammed his fist on the bed. 

“Oak! What kind of language is that?!!” You said sternly. “It's all your bad influence, Buggy. I've asked you a hundred times not to swear in front of the kids.” 

“Sorry, my marshmallow.” Buggy shrugged guiltily. “Oh, I know, a great story. Have you ever heard the one about the brilliant and amazing pirate who escaped from prison?”

“COOL!!! PIRATES!!!” Oak rubbed his hands happily and sat comfortably under Buggy's armpit.

Buggy placed his palm on son’s head and cleared his throat. “Once upon a time, a fearless pirate, who was being chased by all the marines in the world, ended up in prison. And he ended up there because he raided an island for a year and scared all the inhabitants.” 

“Didn't he get the doors mixed up?” You giggled, eating candies from the box. 

“I don't know what you're talking about, Y/N. In my story, he scared the whole island.” Buggy pulled the children closer. “And there he was, in one of the scariest multi-level underwater prisons. And since he was a famous pirate whose head was worth a lo-o-ot of money, he was put on the very last level, where the most dashing and respected criminals sat.”

“And I thought he stayed on the first level, where the people were weaker.” You were sipping your tea, kicking your feet a little. 

“I know this story better, Y/N!” Buggy glanced at you and winked. 

“Mom, don't interrupt!” Six upset eyes looked at you. 

“Okay, okay! I'm silent!” You ate five candies and mumbled with your mouth full. “See? I’m eating candies!” 

“Thank you!” Buggy kissed each child on the top of the head. “So. It was a very terrible prison, with the most terrible tortures in the whole wide world.” Buggy theatrically waved his hand through the air.

“Wo-o-o-ow!!” Oak said quietly, rounding his eyes. “And what was the name of this pirate?”

“The name? Hm…” Buggy scratched his head. “Ha! Dokeno.” 

“Do-ke-no…” Oak repeated quietly. “What happened next?”

Buggy watched out of the corner of his eye as Elodie tried to reach for her pink dresser without letting go of his hand. He sighed to himself and sent part of his hand to get her box and handed it to his daughter. Elodie patted Blandina on the shoulder and they both settled down behind him. You tilted your head and saw how the girls took out colorful ribbons, hairpins with ducklings and flowers from the box, and began to braid Buggy's hair.

“Da-a-ad!!” Oak hit his father on the arm. “The story!!”

“Yeah, sorry, buddy.” Buggy hugged his son tightly. “Dokeno was on the sixth level of the prison when he realized he needed to escape the prison.”

“Dad…” Elodie's voice came from behind him as she wove Buggy's pink ribbon into his pigtail. 

“Hm?”

“Dokeno escaped because he was in a hurry to see the woman he loved?” 

Buggy shifted his gaze to Oak, who was begging to tell him no, then shifted his gaze to you and saw you shrug. “Yes, sweetheart. He was in a hurry to see his beloved woman. The most beautiful woman in the world.” Buggy saw Oak roll his eyes and laughed. “As I said, Dokeno was a brave pirate and thanks to his ingenuity, he managed to distract the guards and escape the cell.”

“How did he get out?” Buggy heard Blandina's tiny voice, who was pulling hairpins out of boxes. 

“He just got out because he was amazing.” Buggy reached back slightly and stroked his daughter's head. “Don't get distracted, sweetheart, braid my hair”

“All right, daddy!!”

“Dokeno ran past the cells where the most dangerous criminals sat, paying no attention to them, even though they were begging for help. But Dokeno had to get out of here soon, because at any minute his escape could be reported to Warden Magellan.” Buggy wanted to put the bandana in his pocket, but Oak immediately snatched it out of his hands.

“Ma-gel-lan. Was he scary?” Oak lifted his head slightly, looked at Buggy and tied the bandana on his head.

“Yes, very scary. He was so big, ugly and looked like an overgrown bat. He could let out a purple venom that was very dangerous.” Buggy scratched his cheek. “But suddenly Dokeno saw the Crying Boy in the cell, he was wearing a straw hat, and Dokeno’s heart trembled.” 

“Oh, my God!” You laughed, noticing Buggy's look and putting more candy in your mouth. “I'm silent.” 

“Why was the kid locked in a cell?” Elodie twirled the bundle on Buggy's head. 

“He misbehaved, honey. He took what daddy needed.. I mean, Dokeno needed, and he was punished for it.” Buggy exhaled and glanced at his kids in a row. “Anyway, the boy cried and asked for help getting out, offering a bracelet in return. But it wasn't just a bracelet, it was a treasure map. But Dokeno was ashamed to steal from a sad, lonely little boy.”

“Ashamed? He was a fearsome and formidable pirate.” You said, sipping your tea. 

“I'm telling this story, Y/N. And even evil pirates can be good people sometimes.” Buggy put a finger to his lips, showing you the signal to be silent. “Dokeno released the Crying Boy, and they ran together to the fifth level of the prison, which was called Freezing Hell. Level five was completely covered in ice, so much so that the prisoners were freezing to death and the food was so frozen that it was impossible to eat.”

“But how did Dokeno not freeze to death?” Oak asked, scratching his head, quietly copying his father's movements.

“He was warmed by love, dumbass.” Blandina mumbled, fixing the duckling barrettes in Buggy's hair. 

“Yes, he was warmed by love.” Buggy chuckled. “Suddenly, on the fifth level, Dokeno and the Crying Boy met their future running mate. A man... a candle. Yes, the Candle Man.” 

“Wasn't that on level two?” You licked your fingers after candy, dangling your feet. 

“No, that was on level five, Y/N. And in fact, shut up.” Buggy smacked Oak on the top of his head. “Dokeno, the Crying Boy, and the Candle Man ran to find a way out on level four, and they had to do it as soon as possible, since the loudspeaker announced that the most dangerous and handsome criminal had escaped and was about to break out of a prison that no one had broken out of in twenty years.”

“Wow. Dokeno's a badass.” Oak sighed with admiration. 

“Very badass.” You looked at Buggy and sent him an air kiss. 

“Yeah, he was a cool man. The guards in their room noticed that the prisoners had escaped and were already on level five, and sent part of the team to catch the criminals. They sent wolves to catch fearless Dokeno, the Crying Boy and the Candle Man. The wolves wanted to eat the boy, but Dokeno couldn't let them eat the child and chased the wolves away with just... with a look.” Buggy looked at you and shrugged. He called this technique the Intimidating Look.”

“Wow!  the Intimidating Look! What happened next?” Oak grabbed Buggy's hand, looked at his sisters who continued to braid their father's pigtails, and yawned slightly. 

“After they chased the wolves away, they found the stairs that led to the fourth level of the prison. Aren't you kids sleepy yet?” Buggy asked with hope in his voice.

“No, we're fine.” With glee all kids replied

“Oh, man.” Buggy muttered to himself. 

“I don't wanna sleep either.” You giggled, picking up the box of candy.

Buggy looked at you, narrowing his eyes. “Okay. All three of them went up the stairs to the fourth level of the prison, which was called the Blazing Hell and was also known as the Lake of Blood. On that level, prisoners were forced to jump into a cauldron while several others prisoners were forced to deliver wood to keep the cauldron hot. Warden Magellan, upon learning that the prisoners were making their way higher, sent his mercenaries to level three. Some of the prisoners who threw the logs were in a deal with Magellan, and they tried to stop the brave Dokeno. But he threw everyone into the cauldron with one blow and the wood. To keep out of the blood tank, Dokeno took one of the woods the prisoners were using for the cauldron, and as if on a raft floated it to the other side.”

“And how did he float it on a raft? If it was a blazing he-e-ell. It’s the hell. The raft could have caught fire.” You squinted, looking at your husband.

“He just floated through. Dokeno was almighty, okay? Dokeno, the Candle Man, and the Crying Boy, who by the way was sobbing and hysterical the whole way, got on the raft and swam to the passageway to the third level of the prison, which was called Starvation Hell.”

“Wo-o-oah! Starvation Hell.” Oak whispered, taking sandwiches. 

“Yeah.” Buggy adjusted his bandana on the son’s head. “All the prisoners here, who now look haggard and starved, were formerly formidable pirates with a reward of 50,000,000 or more. Due to the high temperature that rises to the third level from the bottom floor, the prisoners here are on the verge of death with virtually no food or water. But on this level, Dokeno, the Candle Man, and the Crying Boy were waiting by Magellan's companions. Minorhinoceros, Minocoala, and Blugori.” 

“Were they fearsome creatures?” Blandina asked in a frightened voice. “Did they threaten poor Dokeno?” 

“No, no, honey!” Buggy stroked his daughter's head. “They were nice animals. Those Blugori were like... like... like cotton candy. Pink and fluff, and with cute funny faces. They didn't want to work for Magellan because they were good beasts.” Buggy scratched his head. “Dokeno, the Candle Man, and the Crying Boy argued because each had their own rescue tactics. The Boy was scared and wanted to go back to his cell, but fearless Dokeno stopped him. The boy sat on the ground in terror, started crying and accidentally touched one of the slabs with his hand, and all three fell into a trap. A net of Sea Stone lifted them into the air.”

“What’s this?” Oak asked, climbing onto his bed.

“This thing that.. you know.. Made people weak. Even the strongest and most fearless.” Buggy scratched his neck and glanced at the daughters. “The Crying Boy and the Candle Man began to hysterically say that they were going to die. The only one who did not panic was Dokeno. He remembered about the knife in his boot and he cut the mesh, which was not subject to other people, but was subject to the blade from Dokeno's boot, and freed his comrades.”

“Wooow!” Oak whispered.

“We nee more ribbons, Blandina!” Elodie jumped off the bed and ran to the dresser, she grabbed yellow ribbons and sat back.

“Guys, don't you want to sleep yet?” Buggy asked with hope in his voice.

“No, we're fine.” The children and you answered in unison. 

“Mother fuc~!” Buggy rolled his eyes. “Okay, Dokeno was able to persuade Blugori, Minokoala and Minorhinoceros to side with him and help them get to the second level. And when they were close to the passage, more of Magellan's men appeared. The Candle Man turned into wax and tried to stop the guards..”

“What power did that Crying Boy in the hat have?” You asked slyly, looking at your daughters, who were already tying even more ribbons into a bun of hair.

“He had the Power of Crying, okay?” Buggy hissed through the teeth. “Anyway, Minorhino and Minokoala helped the Candle Man to attack the guards, Dokeno fought using his wits, hands and knives in his boots, and the Crying Boy sat in the corner and cried. When the guards were defeated, our heroes moved towards the passage to the second floor. But then the sphinxes appeared.”

You choked on your candy. “Oh my God!”

“Yes, marshmallows, sphinxes. They came running from the second floor, the floor of hellish creatures. Did I mention that Dokeno was fearless?” Buggy watched as you and the kids nodded at the same time. “He was so fearless that he was not afraid to fight the sphinx. He tricked him into the net from which Dokeno had gotten out earlier and lifted the sphinx into the air. Access to the second level was open. Dokeno, the Candle Man, who had already turned back into a man and the Crying Boy, who did not stop crying in the corner, were finally close to leaving the prison. On the second floor, they meet the Basilisk, this is a snake born from a chicken, and a hippopotamus that wanted to devour Dokeno. But they were defeated by the great Dokeno. The hippopotamus crashed into a wall while running after Dokeno, the Candle Man and the Crying Boy.”

“What about the Basilisk?” You asked, taking a sip of tea and eating it with sweets.

“Put this one here with dandelions, Elodie!” Blandina stuck another hairpin into her father's hair. “This will make our dad even more handsome.”

Buggy whispered to you "I'll kill you" with his lips. “The Basilisk.. The Basilisk.. Ha! Dokeno tricked him into one of the empty cells and locked him there, okay?” Buggy scratched his nose. “Anyway, the other prisoners, who were trapped on the second level, were so impressed by the great criminal that they begged Dokeno for help. Dokeno decided that this was his chance to recruit the strongest team and freed all the prisoners who had already fallen to their knees in front of him. They obviously worshiped him for freedom and the chaos created by Dokeno. Did I mention he was a famous pirate?” Buggy looked at his son. 

“Yeah!” Oak nodded. “What happened next?”

“Magellan, having learned that Dokeno had advanced so far, built a wall which was made of his poison, which prevented passage to the first level to the main gate. But Dokeno, with the power of word and thought, managed to destroy the poisonous wall and led his new squad to the exit. At the level one, which was called the Crimson Hell, was one of the hardest battles of Dokeno.”

“But love helped him fight, right, daddy?” Blandina asked in a tiny voice, putting more hairpins on Buggy's hair. “That's better.”

“Yes, honey, love helped him fight.” Buggy cleared his throat. “While the Crying Boy was crying again in the corner, Dokeno, the Candle Man and his new team, captured the guards who were in charge of opening the gates of the greatest prison in the world. Recognizing Dokeno and admiring his courage and fearlessness, they opened the gates without any doubts and allowed everyone to escape. Magellan tried to stop them and even went in pursuit of them, but he failed.” Buggy watched as the girls started yawning and carefully began to lay them out in bed. “Dokeno's team was already waiting for him on the ship. He, along with the rescued criminals who swore to be faithful to him for the rest of their lives, the Candle Man and the Crying Boy, climbed onto the ship. And Dokeno set off in search of new adventures.” Buggy put Oak under the blanket. “That's what he was, Dokeno - a hero among pirates.” Buggy took Elodie's box of hairpins and carefully placed it on the table.

“Dokeno.. a hero among pirates.” Oak muttered, burrowing his nose under the blanket. 

“Dad? Did Dokeno return to his beloved woman? Is he happy now?” Elodie asked, yawning. 

Buggy looked over his shoulder at you and adjusted his daughter's pillow. “Of course he's back. And he found his happy ending with the love of his life.”

“I'm gonna be like you, dad.” Oak said quietly. “See you tomorrow, I love you.”

“We love you, mom and dad. Good night.” The girls could barely wave to you.

“Good night, my jelly beans. Love you all.” Buggy said quietly, covering Elodie with a blanket. 

He came up to you quickly and kissed you in the forehead. “Hi, Y/N.”

“It was hell, not a fairy tale, Buggy.” You tried not to laugh out loud and took his hand.

“I know. But they liked it.” Buggy put his arm around your shoulder and kissed your head. “Sorry, I wanted to leave early, but I had to make sure three times that my family was safe.”

“It's okay.” You looked at the kids, then at Buggy. “We have wonderful children, Dokeno, even though they have taken on your personality. Your genes have proven stronger than mine.” You placed your head on his shoulder.

“I won't even apologize for that, Y/N. Oh! How's the new batch of Buggy doing? When will they be ready?” He gently stroked your round belly. 

“It's only the fourth month, my love, they told me they are fine but still cooking. You'll have to wait a little longer.” You kissed him on his cheek. “How did you even manage to do this again?” 

“I’m the Genius Jester, marshmallow, but you didn't complain that night, right? And that was so-o-o good!” Buggy took your hand. “Come on, you need to rest too.”

“Let's sit on the deck for a bit, please. I wanna spend some time with you, I miss you. ”

“Fine. But I promise, we'll spend the whole day together tomorrow.” Buggy led you out onto the deck, threw his coat over your shoulders and sat you down on a bench. “It's a quiet night tonight. We're going to dock at an island for a couple of days in a few days. I promised to take Oak with me and buy him a hat.” 

“He wants to be like you in everything, even copies your walk.” You adjusted the coat and settled yourself under Buggy’s armpit.  

“Of course, I'm a scary and menacing pira~.” He heard you laugh out loud. “What's so funny, Y/N?” 

“I'm sorry. I’m so sorry.” You wiped away tears of laughter. “Have you seen yourself in the mirror? You have pink, yellow and red ribbons with flowers, and hairpins with ducks and butterflies in your hair. A scary pirate with ducks.” You laid your head on his shoulder. “Oh! We could have a family picnic since we are about to dock. One day we're gonna miss this things. Family evenings, picnics. What do you think about the picnic?”

“If you want, ok. Everything is for you, my beloved marshmallow.” Buggy put his hand on your belly and started gently rubbing it. “I wonder who'll be born? And how many will there be?”

“I love you but I swear to God, clown, if more than one child is born, I'll rip off your manhood and throw it in the water for the first shark that comes along to eat.”

[sadistpet]

Meet the Writer

it's munday everybunny you know what that means

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

i love choosing muses that aren’t very. canonically fleshed out. it gives me a lot of opportunity to make them into my own ig :3

raikov is generally a pretty blank slate besides the little we know about him ( being violent / sadistic, being in love with volgin, u kno ) and i think he's potentially a really interesting character from what little we see of him. im personally not ascribed to the eva theory bc i think its kinda silly and robs him of a lot of his personal agency, but it is a common theory, so i kinda wanted to build up a characterisation that was more. faithful to canon rather than fanon u kno. plus sometimes my autism just latches onto specific random characters for no reason and in this case it was raikov JDSFHDFKJ my partner loves raiden and when we were scrolling his wiki page for the funnies obviously raikov's page comes up at the top as a "maybe you meant this" and i just kept coming back to him

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

SURPRISINGLY ENOUGH i hate writing anything with like. eating?? which is ironic considering . raikov . but i just never know how to word it BUT aside from that i think combat is really the only thing ! just cause i feel like it relies heavily on input from both parties and i constantly feel like im overstepping kjshkfjhg

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

fluff angst smut grins. they just come a lot easier to me, especially angst because i always have a LOT to say about silly little internal thought processes and i love writing sadness and pain ^-^ it makes me very gleeful ironically jdkhfdjhg i get very emotionally invested in angst especially. smut is a little bit harder? kinda like with combat ironically it heavily relies on the input of both parties but i do feel for the most part its pretty open ended fun :3

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

i just know. BUT NO SERIOUSLY sometimes it's just Vibes, sometimes it's through reading canon stuff and linking it back to my backstory for him, sometimes it's through interactions with others. there's a lot :3 i do put a lot of thought into my headcanons though, maybe like. too much lmao. but i enjoy it i really love doing a lot of analysis to get to my headcanons

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

a bit of both ! rn i'm writing in silence and i think last night i was mostly writing in silence on my phone and then listening to music while i finished stuff on pc. i think it depends ? sometimes i just get really distracted when listening to music and end up completely neglecting actually writing HDFJGHED so i think overall i prefer silence, or something in the background that i've already seen before so i don't need to pay much attention to it

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

i love winging it :3 i like the unpredictability of it but i think i tend to like. outline ? replies before i actually write them properly. ive never really plotted with anyone besides a vague kinda outline or premise, because i do really like the unpredictability :3 but im always open to plotting grins cutely.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ��ɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

Yes. not just romantic shipping; sexual, enemies, rivals, whatever, idgaf I LOVE CONNECTIONS!!!!!!! i love being able to write relationships between characters. even if its like, familial relationships or whatever, i think it's SO FUN like ourgh. grins really big

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

frances ! it’s not my irl name but the one im most comfortable using online. i also go by rosalind, neo, and vanya :3 one of these is closest to my irl name but youll never guess

ᴀɢᴇ?

22, 23 this year somehow

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

september 17th !

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

pink. fairy tale pink. baby pink. any shade of pink

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

UM im not sure ?? of all time maybe dysph.oric reverie by [redacted] and the art of suicide by emilie autumn and valley of the dolls by marina atm though its a stranger i remain and holding out for a hero

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

the thing (1982) !! oh it was so fucking good i really really enjoyed it. theres a bunch of old classic horror films ive never seen so im glad i could tick one off the list :3 the effects in it were absolutely stunning my goodness

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

i think it was blue eye samurai ?? i gen dont remember

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

im so sorry for my crimes but it was the stains of time and then holding out for a hero

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

meat. and sweet things. i dont think i really have any favourites in particular besides liiiike caramel

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

spring ! all the other seasons make me depressed in some way somehow

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

i have avoidant personality disorder so im too scared to explicitly call anybody my friend in case they hate me so unfortunately i will not think of us as friends unless yuou tell me we are. but if i talk to you / interact with you regularly just know i consider u a friend ok. snf

[magentamedicines]

Magentamedicines: Origins (Part One)

-------------------------

Work note: in later chapters of this fic, there is a character who will be named Cori, she is meant to be a self insert in name and story presence alone, she is not meant to look like me, none of my self inserts are made to be carbon copies of me. So please do not come into my ask box to complain about it. She will feature heavily in main parts of the story as a main character, so if this type of content bothers you, do not read this fic.

“Wake up darlings! Your father has news!” William Afton awoke from yet another night of restless sleep with a yawn, silently cursing his mother for calling him out of another dream.

He trudged out from his room, taking note of his older brother Vincent, and the fact that his younger sister Venus had yet to exit her room.

‘Probably told she didn't have to get up, the little brat.’ William thought bitterly, making his way to the dining room, where his father sat with a newspaper in his hands.

“Ah! There you are boys!” William Afton Sr. said jovially.

“Good morning father, you had news for us?” Vincent said, pouring himself a coffee before sitting at the table. William Jr. simply sat down with his arms crossed, hoping this would be quick.

“Ah- yes, I've been promoted, my employer has requested that I attend a dinner party to celebrate, and he wants you to come, Vincent,” said their father.

William Jr. narrowed his eyes slightly, “and what about me, or Venus,” he said, barely concealing his annoyance.

“Watch your tone, son. You're going to have to watch your little sister while we're gone- neither of you are old enough for this kind of event.” William Jr. gaped slightly, be stuck at home with that spoiled little devilspawn? Clearly his parents must've hated him.

“Oh- yes, of course father, I'll take care of her, it's unfortunate that we can't accompany you, of course,” William Jr. said with a forced grin.

Venus Afton woke up not to long after William had been informed that his entire day was going to be ruined, a stuffed bear clutched tightly in one of her hands.

It was an ugly thing, missing an eye and with fur frayed at the edges, his mother always said that meant it was “well-loved”, William just thought it meant that the girl was incapable of giving up on her childish whims even at her near-grown age. After all, he didn't have any stuffed animals once he was ten.

But he supposed if she still needed a babysitter at that age then clearly she had to have something wrong with her.

William sat stewing in the task ahead for most of the day, even when Vincent asked him if he wanted to go out for anything fun. How could anything be enjoyable when at the end of the day he was stuck with his little sister?

Or at least, that's what he'd thought, until Vincent had shown him an old well in the middle of the forest clearing near their household, how he'd never known about it he wasn't sure- but now that he did. . .

“Come on! I promise it's something cool- you like those fairy books, right? It looks just like something in one of those!” William said as he coaxed his sister out into the clearing. She was chewing on the neckline of her shirt, eyes wandering around the clearing.

“And here it is!” Willian said, making a show of pointing toward the well as his little sister walked toward it.

“Look down- maybe you'll see some fairies,” William said, sneering. He watched as his sister leaned over the well, eyes wide, mouth agape as she looked around for the little creatures.

The scream she let out when he pushed her down rung in his ears like a sweet melody. He waited until the screaming grew weak to run out of the woods, making a big show of concern to the policemen he could find.

By the time they'd gotten back to the well, it was to late, and as William made his way back home, crocodile tears running down his cheeks, he neglected to examine the strange substance that now seeped from the well, nor did he notice the cat with pitch black eyes, glaring at him as he left.

It took a much more convincing level of acting to persuade his parents that Venus had gotten out all on her own, his mother and father bought into the sorrowful story well enough, but Vincent had a level of suspicion behind his eyes that William wasn't sure he could dissuade.

The house was much quieter after the loss of Venus, his mother much more solemn, and his father much more irritable. But William couldn't quite bring himself to care. He was free of the little pest, and as far as he was concerned that was all that mattered.

And as soon as he got the opportunity to go to a halfway decent business school in Hurricane, Utah- how could he not take it?

The halls of his new campus were much less vast than the colleges he'd toured back home, but it would do. William fiddled with the gold rabbit pin his mother had given him when they'd dropped him off, knowing that it was unlikely he'd be coming home, his mother had cried- this wasn't like when he'd simply moved into his own flat after all, this was college, this was America, and the likelihood of him coming back to England after this was slim to none.

And the chances became even slimmer once he met his roommate.

Henry Emily was a stout man, with a bushy beard and large black-framed glasses, he had the look of a man who'd grown up doing frequent hard labor, with a muscular physique under the dull-colored flannel he was wearing.

“So- you're my new roommate then, yes?” William asked the man as he set to work unpacking his things. He had a lot to get through after all, business school first, then robotics, then he'd be ready to sort out his new empire.

“Well I should hope so! Otherwise I might need to update my glasses prescription!” Henry said with a laugh, William thought he looked similar to the jovial Santa Claus often plastered around the shopping centers this time of year.

“Here- let me help you with those- I've already gotten myself unpacked,” said Henry, he stood up and approached William, reaching one arm over him to adjust something on the shelf above his bed. William felt his face grow hot, and pushed the strange pit in his stomach back down as far as he thought it might go.

If this was how his first night in college was going, he thought, perhaps, that the next four years wouldn't be so bad, as long as Henry Emily remained his friend, he wasn't quite sure what else he would be able to do with himself after that.

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Tag list:

@cartoonalt-reblogs

[his-mother-is-lightning]

EPISODE 6: FEAST OR FAMINE (too soon?)

AKA - Break a leg, kid! (Sanji's bad day)

AKA AKA - a blond and a red-leg walk into a bar

AKA AKA AKA - how many pirates does it take to sew up a swordsman? (answer: just one, if he's also a chef)

my episode 5 reaction

Luffy just straight up dissociating over here. A grand start to the episode

Will the trope of someone about to do surgery asking for alcohol and then drinking it ever not be funny? I don't know, but I don't want to live in a world where it isn't

Mihawk wears cowboy boots 👢

I'm so glad they don't call him Hawkeye all the time like they do in the anime. Dracule Mihawk is an objectively amazing name - why the hell would he need a nickname?

Luffy cleaning Zoro's swords + his mental spiral/rant about wanting Zoro to recover is such a gut wrenching moment.

Love me a group of grown men making fun of a child. Poor tiny Sanji has already been through enough guys (as we learn much later in the series) and then Zeff tries to add oregano to his food? The inhumanity of it all!

Just two guys, stuck on a rock, trying to not starve to death. Just a guy watching a bratty kid walk away with all their food. Just a child, laid out in the sun, waiting to die. Just a pair of survivors, dreaming of a restaurant in the middle of the ocean. Just a-

(warning for gross) but like, Zeff was planning on dying and letting Sanji eat his corpse, right? And if they were stuck there for 85 days... what did they eat? Did they finish eating his leg? Bc that seems like the only option. How am I the only one wondering this??

Ngl I don't get the fairy tale Nami reads to Zoro. Maybe that's why I don't get her perspective. Cause she's yelling at Luffy and it's clear that she's upset, but on what planet could Luffy have stopped Zoro from going after Mihawk?

Koby is over here, trying to be helpful by asking Garp to accept his grandson for who he is. Which Garp obvs takes to mean, "if he wants to be a pirate so damn badly, then I'll treat him like a pirate. And kill him"

Meanwhile Arlong slams open the door, late to the party with his Starbucks, ready to make everything worse for everyone.

Luffy trying to talk to an unconscious Zoro - so soft, so pure.

"I can't let innocent people get hurt because of me" must sting. Poor Nami. Everything she's running from is catching up, and here's Luffy literally running at them

HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE THERES AN EAR IN THE BAND OF YOUR HAT?? He was just repairing the hat last episode!!

Ok Nami I get it. I get it, right. But telling Arlong to drop him in the sea is such a fucked up thing to do. I can only think that she has faith that one of the crew would go and save him. That has to be it, right?

Nami changing into a slinkier outfit when she goes back to Arlong's crew is Noted.

And there's Sanji, diving into the water to save Luffy, a guy he literally just met. Did he realize that Luffy couldn't swim?

Garp makes his stupid little speech wearing his stupid little dog hat. What is with these ppl wearing animals on their head?

Helmeppo looking over at Koby when he hears about the new plan bc he's caught the friendship bug and it's given him a bad case of feelings

Luffy going to Zoro at his lowest moment to say 'i need you right now. I need you back' is so pure. And of course Zoro wakes up for him

Love me a man who wears a full suit to join his new pirate crew. And when he has a beautiful, emotional goodbye with his father figure? Sanji cries and I cry and we all cry about found families.

The return of Buggy! Poor Sanji is standing at the back, prob wondering what the fuck he's gotten himself into

I'm saving the last two episodes for tomorrow. And once I've finished season one, I'll prob go back to watching the anime. I was at episode 60 I think

Onwards and upwards

[lazzledazzler]

Lazzle's Rune Factory 5 Review

Alright so here are my thoughts and experiences with RF5! This is a big boy so buckle in earthmates...

Obviously this review will contain spoilers, read at your own risk.

Initial thoughts upon playing...

Great opening! I enjoyed the jazz music~ I did feel like it leaned a bit more towards the male player though. It definitely feels like a rune factory game. It's familiar, and controls are easy to get accustomed to for the most part. The mold is there and rf5 doesn't stray too far from its predecessors which is comforting for veterans. That being said, I'm not going to pull any punches and will critique this game harshly. Keep in mind as updates for the game are released not all things discussed in this review will be as relevant overtime!

Let's hear some thoughts on...

The story/plot. The plot is enjoyable overall. I'm not crazy about the whole Seed organization thing but it was a neat idea. They address the Sechs Territory and it is confirmed that the game takes place some decades after RF4. But by the end of it, I didn't feel like I really accomplished anything because it felt like I barely did anything really. Also they left a lot of stuff unanswered. I'm not even sure I understood the message they were sending, if they were trying to send a message at all. The main story is too short, and it doesn't involve enough of the townsfolk. You're basically doing everything yourself in secret the whole time and the townsfolk barely know what's actually going on. Out of the love interests, Lucas plays the largest part in the story, followed by Priscilla and Scarlett. The story feels targeted at male audiences--at least that's how I felt. You, the player, have a larger role in the game, much like in RF3 and I was glad to see this. As of right now there are only two arcs. Praying for DLC 3rd arc...!

Protagonists. The latest protagonists to join the crew of Earthmates are...decent. Their designs are nothing special unfortunately, though I appreciate Alice's more than Ares's. Appearance-wise they lack personality and creativity. Personality wise I am pleasantly surprised with how sociable they are. They're not exactly quick witted and sassy like Lest/Frey were in rf4, or as endearing as Micah in rf3, but they have a certain realness to them that makes their reactions to things believable. I'm certain Xseed will see to making them a bit more sarcastic in their localizing efforts, so let's all look forward to that. Overall though, while I appreciate their mannerisms, they don't really measure up to all the previous amnesiacs we've grown to love over the decades.

Characters. Overall I enjoy all the characters introduced in Rune Factory 5! I feel like there is someone for everyone in this game on some level. The voice acting was pretty good for every character. The designs are very much Rune factory. Like OG runefa, compared to rf4 ( 4 kind of strayed from their usual style) which I like. Characters still have their own signature quirks that you find endearing. Although I would have liked to see more variety? Like we've had mermaids, univir, half monsters, vampires, etc in previous titles but rf5 only gives us the usual (half) elf, dwarf, and then a succubus (physically she doesn't have unique features aside from the ears and heart eyes), and some were-people. I was hoping for something more unique to really give that classic runefa vibe.

Dungeons/Battles. I'm pretty split on this one. On the one hand, the dungeons have more depth due to the 3D aspects. They've included more contraptions that are very fun to see even if they aren't executed that well. So I'm grateful for that. On the other hand, the dungeons are insanely short imo. It doesn't take long at all to get to the boss. The puzzles are also pretty subpar and few compared to RF4. Fighting monsters is similar to the other games. You can lock on now but I only use it when I'm trying to use my Seed Circle. The lock on feature is actually counter-intuitive and makes it harder to dodge. Weapon mechanics have shifted a bit. There’s a feature that makes you invincible to damage if you time the R button dash correctly. Axes and Hammers are significantly slower than in older games? Like. I thought I was in slow motion it was so slow. Lances are also harder to use as well? I'm questioning my sanity here. I don't know if it's a bug or intentional either.

Farming. Not much has changed from previous games mechanics wise. They added new types of special crops which is neat. The camera view changes to overhead when you go near your fields though, and it can make you dizzy/uncomfortable. It actually makes it a bit difficult to see at times so I wish there was a way to adjust the angle. If you are tilling corn or dried weeds to improve the soil, you need to place them separately if you don't want to use the entire stack. Otherwise, it will till the entire stack on the land if you place them all down at once. The flower shop is unlocked late in the story. Weird thing to do considering you need flowers to make medicine. Not to mention the fact that you wont have access to the fertilizer that increases defense against typhoons? During typhoon season? Thinking emoji...

The town. I have to say Rigbarth's design is poor compared to Sharance, Selphia, etc. It's too big and it takes too long to get around. Everything is too spaced out and there aren't enough warp points to make it easier on players. I don't want to walk an entire mile up a hill to talk to one person and then walk all the way down to the beach to speak to another. It doesn’t really feel like a ‘town’.

OST/BGM. Music was good, though nothing really stood out to me where I'd go "damn this slaps" or something. I think they might've had some old soundtracks from rf2 or something because it felt really nostalgic at times.

We need an exterminator. (Bugs Bugs Bugs)

Marvelous, I don't know how to tell you this buuut...your customers are NOT your testers. When you release a game, you need to make sure it's not littered with glitches because customers don't enjoy dealing with them and will drop the game!

Here are some of the types of glitches I encountered:

Crashing. Game would randomly crash or freeze and close at any moment. Sooooo frustrating! Sometimes you get lucky with the autosave feature, but the autosave only activates every morning at 6am in your room and then when you warp to a dungeon level/floor. So when you're in the middle of your daily tasks in town and it crashes, you have to start all over. Marveloussss no one enjoys losing their progress in a game I promise you that much.

Lag. The dialogue bar is seriously slow, especially after loading your file. Crafting/Cooking screen lags. When you press the Y button to skip through dialogue it lags like hell. Pretty much after every time you load the game will lag, the audio will lag if you're in a battle, everything is just. so. slow.

Repeating dialogue. So if you close your game entirely (or if it crashes) naturally you'll reload your file to continue where you left off. There's a bug that will cause all NPCs to repeat the last dialogue that occurred from whatever plot related thing you did last. So for example, if the last thing you did in the story was unlock Ludmilla, everyone in town will naturally have some dialogue about her. But even after seeing all this dialogue and even saving, if the game is closed and reloaded you'll have to read all that dialogue again from townsfolk. It got really annoying after a while.

Monster taming. One time I tamed a monster but once I named it and hit 'ok' the monster never showed up in my barns? Just. gone. Okaaaay then...? Additionally, I expanded one of my monster barns but all of the monsters I tamed wouldn't appear in the added room. You get 4 monsters for each room but the monsters I tamed would show up in the original room. Meaning I had like 7 monsters in one room! I tried to bring them into the newly added room but they would just warp back to the other room. Sad.

Pond Glitch. I fished in the pond located in Sasayaki Forest and left the fish I caught but didn't want laying around the water's edge. If you leave fish around the pond's edge and go to sleep, the next morning you will be teleported to the pond and trigger the fairy dialogue as if you had thrown all of the fish into the pond??? So the dialogue of her telling you she wants 'X item, not this!' will trigger over and over for all of the fish you left at the water's edge. RIP.

Party member Bug. I had Martin in my party and I made him leave. Then when I went into my monster barns to get a monster pal to join me instead it showed me Martin's portrait???? Also I've encountered a bug where I can no longer ask anyone to join my party for some unknown reason. The R &L button prompt was just gone when I reloaded.

Errors. When cooking or crafting, the dialogue box shows up sometimes...

Typos. Random average typo here and there. Not a real biggie but there is one instance where the heroine will use the japanese male pronoun "boku" instead of "watashi" which really convinced me that this game was completely intended for men lol.

Let's talk about Pros

The good stuff. The stuff that makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.

Plot Advancing. Now I'm gonna put this as a pro because I'm certain the average player will enjoy this even though I do not. There are now markers on the map to show you where to go to advance the plot. This is all well and dandy, but it also made the story less appealing for me because you don't need to go around town and speak to residents for clues or assistance to advance anything in the story.

3D Graphics The 3D models are all amazing. The interior designs of the houses/buildings are also incredibly detailed and realistic.

Collecting items. Now there's a feature that will allow you to collect items into your inventory just by walking over them. This is pretty neat and welcome for the most part. Once the item is sparkling, you can walk over it and it'll go into your rucksack automatically. This also makes lumbering and mining go much faster. Yay!

The miraculous L pocket. Now you can customize the categories that appear in your L pocket by going to the rucksack tab in the menu. This is a super neat feature that makes things easier on players who want to manage their items in a format that suits them.

Weapon/Tool Toggling. You can now toggle between your equipped weapon and tool by pressing the left or right buttons on the trackpad.

Collecting lumber/material stone. Oh lord this is probably the most welcome improvement moving forward from the previous game. You can now put all of the lumber and material stone from your inventory into its storage at once. This also applies to fodder for tamed monsters. Well done Hakama.

Autosave. This feature is a welcome addition to the series. The game will save your data every morning and every time you enter a dungeon. Autosave has really saved my ass a few times when I made a huge error in judgement so I'm incredibly grateful for this feature. And it doesn't save over your actual save file--there's a separate autosave file at the very top. So if you messed up something but already saved on your main file, you can still salvage your mistake by reloading the autosave! I just wish it activated a bit more often sometimes.

Warping. Now we can warp to each level in a dungeon as well as certain places on the map in town. It's pretty convenient for the most part.

Increased party members. Now you can have up to 3 members in your party! Hooray! Party members act more intelligently than in older games. Scarlett can use the Seed circle to assist you in fights. I think she also tosses healing potions at you occasionally. So far, no one has tossed a dish at me if I haven't eaten like Kiel and Clorica did in rf4. But I have been hit by a failed dish (from reinhardt?) and a healing potion (from scarlett). Scarlett, Priscilla, and Reinhardt are the most helpful when dungeon crawling in my experience. Some of them however, (looking at you Doug) don't shut the hell up with their one line of dialogue they have and repeat it constantly.

Seed Circle. This neat feature allows you to capture monsters. By charging it and releasing you can capture monsters for the bounty system or add them to your party temporarily. If you throw it without charging it, you can stun monsters in place momentarily or grab things from far away. When stunning monsters, it can also give you the monster's drop item occasionally. Unfortunately it uses a lot of RP so it can be difficult at times.

Combo attacks. This is a neat feature that I appreciate and use often for boss fights. They do some serious damage so it's good to save them for the bosses. The actual cutscenes aren't that impressive, and feel kind of subpar when you get down to it but I think it's a start in the right direction.

Farm Dragons. I'm listing this as a pro although I really just see it as a new feature. Farm dragons have fields on their backs that you can place monster barns on and farm on. Giving them certain crystals will give your fields boosts in certain criteria, like length of growth, soil quality, you get it. I personally don't use the crystals because I couldn't give a shit lmao I have men and women to woo here. But if you're into this kinda thing then it's a pro.

Storage. When opening your storage box, fridge, etc. you can actually hit the R & L buttons to switch between ALL of your other storages. Looooove thissss. Great addition. So much faster to put items away in their respective places.

Crafting/Forging. Now we can also use the R & L buttons to alternate between the different weapon types/accessory/gear types instead of having to exit the menu and going back in each time you want to make something different.

Cooking. More recipes have been added. Yay!

Days are longer now. More time to get shit doneeeee ayyyy

Fishing. They've added many more fish to the game! Now the player will shout something when you get a bite, making it easier for you to hit B at the right moment. Nice. Also if you fail or press B too early, the fish doesn't vanish most of the time. Also nice. There is now a feature to fish with another person's assistance. Once a day you can investigate the sign near the fishing station and someone might offer to lend you a hand. Press the B button at the right moments on the slider and you can get a rare fish that can't be caught normally.

Monsters. New types of monsters! Love the designs. Even the monsters that are the same but just have different skins are really neat. They look great in the 3D format too. You can even ride with up to two people on certain monsters! Some bosses had awesome designs while others...were bad.

New Types of Furniture. The carpenter store has a wide arrange of furniture you can buy for your home. It also has wallpapers and stuff which is really neat. Though unfortunately you can't even sit on some of the furniture so that's a shame.

Events. Now there is a system where events are triggered by approaching an icon on the map. This is probably an improvement to RF4's randomized system, though personally I found it annoying because it meant that I had to see the events before I could just enter a building normally. Sometimes I just wanted to get shit done and not have to read through walls of text for someone's love event when I just want to buy something.

Voiced Lines. The protagonist seems to have more voiced lines, as do other characters. Good!

Let's talk about Cons

Not including glitches. Oh boy. So many cons. Where do I start?

Dialogue. Probably the most notable con in the entire game. The dialogue is drastically minimal in comparison to previous games, especially rf4. There is probably a quarter of the amount of dialogue compared to rf4's insane amount of content if not less. Townsfolk repeat themselves. Often. Too often. Am I playing Harvest Moon? Originally I thought it was because the dialogue is randomized, but I think it's actually because more dialogue is unlocked as you raise townspeople's FP. Despite this, there's no linear build up where you start off as acquaintances and eventually become very close like in rf4 because of how sporadic the LP/FP is. Townsfolk don't even talk to each other. One of the greatest perks about runefa is the conversations townsfolk can have with one another. Residents randomly gathering in small groups to talk about anything. Previously you could add someone to your party and sometimes a dialogue will occur if you speak to the right person at the right time with that person in your party. This is nonexistent now. The only time they do this in rf5 is during the festivals. But, it will only trigger if you have unlocked all the characters in each marriageable lineup and they can't be in your party. The residents will talk about one another but that's pretty much it outside of town events. They got rid of all the minor dialogue that occurs too. Trying to sleep in someone's bed while they're right there? They wont comment. Inspecting objects in stores while the shopkeeper is present? Wont say anything. Take a character with you to a dungeon/boss fight? Their lips are sealed. Where's my sense of community? :(

FP/LP This ties into the dialogue issue. The rate at which LP/FP increases is sporadic as hell. You can go from 1FP/LP to 4FP/LP just by giving a gift sometimes. I wouldn't even speak to people and their affinity increased by like triple for no reason. Then it increases by like 2% for the longest time. Argh!!!

Graphics. I don't consider myself very picky when it comes to graphics. I don't really mind that the foliage and scenery are at the level of a ps2 game at best. I tried playing on my television initially, but the lag and camera operability was too much so I fully switched (haha puns) to handheld. One thing that sucked is that I literally cannot tell the difference between medicinal herbs, antidote grasses, and green grasses without the captions because the graphics are so indistinguishable. So when you're trying to pick up multiples of those items by holding the A button, you're just randomly walking over anything green in the hopes that you'll get the right ones...

Lack of Sound Effects. Something I noticed is they got rid of the sound effects that will play when you complete a puzzle or add someone to your party. When you try to brush a monster there's no sound for the '♪' they make when you successfully brush them. So it was hard for me to tell if I had actually brushed them or not. I was a bit saddened by the lack of cute sounds.

Too much free range. From the very beginning of the game, you're allowed to go pretty much wherever you want when leaving town. It was too easy to stumble into high enemy level territory without knowing, so when I was like level 5 so I got KO'd immediately.

Artwork. The portraits seem to be lower in quality somehow. Runefa has always had shitty portrait art imo but this time it's even worse. Many character's eyes looked fucked up. Though the 3D models are insanely good for mostly every character except Terry. Terry's 3D model looks Terryfying and I prefer his portrait.

Festivals. They've added some new festivals. Some I enjoy. Some not so much. They changed the format of the eating contest. It's horrible. Good luck with that one.

L pocket + R button? They got rid of the feature that lets you skip to the other end of your items when opening the L pocket by pressing R button. I really liked that feature because it made it faster to reach my items so I was bummed that they got rid of it.

Gotta go fast. Now when you speak to someone, it doesn't 'stop time' as you might say it did in previous games. So people are still moving about as you speak to someone, making it harder to catch up to people! Annoying!!!

Catch and release? Not in my farming simulator! Say goodbye to being able to toss a fish you caught back into the water. In fact, say goodbye to tossing anything you don't want anymore into the water. Now you just have an army of fish flopping on the ground around you. And with the auto pick up feature, they're probably going to end up in your inventory anyways once you try to move. There are still certain ponds with fairies that you can toss stuff into, but you'll have to deal with the fairy harping at you for giving her something she doesn't want.

Shop Hours. Oh god. The shop owners don't even open their stores at the correct hours? It says open at 9am. If you speak to them they won't open their store until like 9:07??? But Priscilla and Lucy will show up to work their part-time jobs at around 8:30am and you can buy stuff through them before 9am. So the actual shop owners (for the bread shop and general store) are pointless usually. Additionally, if the store is empty (but open) you can no longer add a shopkeeper into your party and then enter their store with them to buy things from them. Why. Just why. When you want to buy something that only a specific person sells (Only Hina sells fish, only Heinz sells misc items) you have to wait for them to finally decide to work in their own store. Wonderful.

Monster Item drops. Maybe I'm crazy but the monster drops are seriously a lot harder to get than in previous games. Especially boss drops. It's almost impossible to get the rare drops now. I don't even want to try anymore. And as far as I know, the only place to buy monster items is through Heinz, but his items are actually misc. items, not specifically monster drops. So you'll be lucky to check his store (whenever tf he decides to actually work) for any monster items you might want instead of farming for the drops. Sighs.

Difficulty. This game is too easy. There is little to no challenge whatsoever. I had to increase the difficulty setting to hard mode and it was still too easy. I beat it at level 139, never once did I need to grind or level. In fact, your character levels up way too quickly for the pace of the story. I had zero trouble with any of the bosses and even the final boss was a breeze. Quite sad. Though because I am not new to the franchise, it's likely that newcomers would have some trouble in the later parts of the story.

Fishing cons. Idk how you fck up fishing but they sure did. You have to stand further back now because the pole is so long that you'll miss the fish you're aiming for. In fact, it's seriously hard to aim period. You'll end up recasting more often than not. Fish come in the various sizes but they don't seem to have the darker or faded characteristics that can indicate whether it's a rare fish or not. The graphics make it hard to tell. The pros that i've already mentioned are welcomed but it doesn't negate the fact that I do not enjoy fishing like I did in previous games.

Mining/Lumbering Cons. You can no longer strike three times consecutively when mining/lumbering. This sucks lol. Even when you upgrade your axe or hammer, powering up the tool does nothing for getting wood and material stone--it only expands the area of your strike. So it takes longer to get wood/stone from stumps and rocks now since you have to strike the full 9 times but it's not too bad. It's also harder to aim now as well so that's also unfortunate.

Seasonal Fields? Kiss them goodbye! That's right, there are no seasonal fields in rf5 because devs are insane! You instead have the farm dragons that seem to look seasonal based on the fact that they are designed after elements like earth, water, and fire. But no, these dragons are simply extra fields for you to use. Here's a spoiler: you're not going to use those fields. You're just not. They're kinda useless unless you're obsessed with farming. Now you have to grow your crops out of season like the sad farmer that you are.

Farming cons. Seeds no longer tell you how long it takes to grow the crop. Why. As of June 29th, they fixed this with an update. But I still had to play the whole game without it so fuck you marvelous. The joystick is really sensitive? So when you're trying to use a fertilizer or something on your field you're likely to place it on the wrong 4x4 tile, wasting your fertilizer. So it’s best to hold down the R button when farming. Also the crops look uglie as hell.

Sleeping and warping cutscenes. Just like in rf4 there's a cutscene when you go to sleep that can be skipped easily by pressing A. In rf5, there's a cutscene to sleep and a cutscene when waking up. It takes a bit more than a second to skip these scenes so it gets annoying after a while. Warping is this new feature that replaces our beloved escape spell. Overall I appreciate the feature but I hate it for two reasons. One: there's an annoying ass cutscene for it each time you use it that could be much shorter. And Two: townsfolk now use warp even when inside the town. In previous games, someone exiting your party in town would just manually run to wherever they need to be. So you could easily chase after them if you need to talk to them or give them something. Now, party members use warp regardless of where you are at the time. So say you have someone at 7 hearts and you want to try confessing to them. You would have them join your party, save your game, and then have them leave your party and immediately speak to them and confess before they can run off. If it doesn't work you reload until it does. In RF5 this wouldn't work anymore because they will warp. Now you would have to save, run around town trying to find this person and hope they accept the confession. Otherwise you'll have to play hide and seek again because reloading your file will randomize the resident's locations (if they are not working in a shop)!!!! I often just waited until a festival day because then they will be at the plaza for most of the day and it has a warp point there.

Crafting/Forging/Cooking. They've removed the feature where you can press Y on the ingredients in the menu to add more of that particular item. I miss this feature :'(

Lacks incentive. There is no trophy room from my knowledge. The final dungeon that is meant to be like the sharance maze/rune prana isn't that hard to beat for skilled players and is only 20 floors. After you beat the main story and this dungeon there's not much else to do really.

Request Board. Unlike in rf4, you need to make sure you have accepted requests before you complete them or else it will not count. Previously, you could complete all sorts of tasks and Eliza would still recognize your work even if you accept their request after the fact. ie, shipping goods, harvesting crops, etc. So make sure you don't harvest your special crops before accepting the request it's for!

Return of the "Loli" Dragons... Yeah you read that right. We got more dragons in children's(???) bodies with skimpy clothes. I don't know anymore????¿¿¿

Can't marry the Milfs or Dilfs. Tragic.

Still no homo. Grow up Marvelous.

Reverse Proposal? Reverse Uno card-- Laid low by the patriarchy. You now have to buy the double bed and craft an engagement ring to propose to your man if you're playing as Alice. Marvelous this isn't what we meant when we said we wanted equal rightsssssss This can be seen as a pro if you're a softhearted babey who doesn't like rejecting bachelors' proposals because you feel bad :'( But this is a con for me because I don't want to spend money and materials on a double bed dammit!!!

Misc. Still can't stack dishes or fish. There's no green elemental fairy???All the other elemental ones are there except the green one? why??? Still can't tame the giant Wooly. Some bosses that have insanely awesome designs cannot be tamed and makes me wanna eat glass.

Let's talk about Love~

Relationships. We want them. And half of us only play these games for them. I've only played as the female heroine so far but I'll be updating this review as soon as I finish with the bachelorettes as the male hero.

Confessions

As usual, we must raise the love points of our beloved to 7 hearts before we can attempt to date them. However unlike in rf4, if you fail at a confession once, you will need to raise the LP up an entire level before you can try again with any chance of success. It's imperative you save before attempting a confession now.

Love Events

Each love interest has two love events that must be seen before you can date them. They're reminiscent of older game's style but I felt they could have been a biiiit more interactive or so? Or involved the town a bit more for some of them.

Dating

Once you get your honey to be your bf/gf, you get to choose the nicknames as usual. Then you can go on dates. The first three (non-festival) dates are actually events. You need to see all three events to get married.

Marriage Event

The final event you need to clear before you can marry your sweetie. In my honest opinion, so far for the boys, these events were rather disappointing. They lacked the drama and angst that sort of 'test' the love between the two when compared to rf4. Also this is a huge con for me personally and a minor spoiler but there are no special cutscenes at the end of the marriage event like in rf4. Instead, the cutscene takes place during your actual wedding. I was saddened by this because it took away the depth from the marriage events and the actual character? As it is just a cut and paste type of thing instead of an original cutscene for each person. They lack individualism this way. Also it kinda felt like a way for devs to avoid gay relationships and cut corners :^/....sus.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...

Children!!!!!! This is actually one of the coolest additions in the game. Just like in rf3, you can have up to 3 children again! Your first child will resemble you, and you will have the option to choose its gender as well as its personality. There are 6 different children, (3 boys and 3 girls), all with different hairstyles, mannerisms, and seiyuus. Your answers will determine which child you get. A year after your first child is born, you will get the option to have a second child. You'll end up with twins, both resembling your partner. You won't get to choose the genders (it will be a boy and girl) but you will get to choose the personalities once more. The children all have canon names too and each kid is incredibly cute. And of course, you're still able to take your kid with you in your party~ ...Though you can only take one kid with you at a time.

So is RF5 good?

Yeah it's a fun game! My theory is that Marvelous forced the devs to release the game earlier than they were ready for, and that's why it's so lacking. But that doesn't mean it's not worth playing! I'd rate it 3.5/5 stars hehe. Not nearly as good as RF4 (full stop 5/5), or RF3 (4/5) but enjoyable nonetheless. I wouldn't recommend it as a first game to play from the series for newcomers though, I feel it's best for vets who can overlook all the cons thanks to loyalty and nostalgia. By the time it’s released in the West, the bugs should all be dealt with too.

So! Definitely buy this game! We want the series to continue and we want RF6 to be better than this--and hopefully Marvelous will make sure of that next time. If you're not a picky person I think you'll enjoy rf5 a lot. If you're like me and have high standards then, well, still pick it up and let it run its course. Then dust off rf4sp and cleanse your gaming palette >;^)

[britswriting]

Desire (45)

Desire Masterlist

Read on Wattpad

Warning: Sexual Content, anxiety attack

I've missed my main bitch! Let's goo!

*Leighton's POV*

"You don't think it's too corny?" I asked Aaliyah over facetime, flipping the camera back to show my face, eyeing my basket of cliché romance crap.

"Leigh, he'll drop his pants the second he sees this shit! We both know it! He's been practically begging you to wine and dine him, he'll love it!" She continued to encourage me.

"Do you think he'll make fun of me for getting sparkling juice? Should I buy him wine? I don't know what kind of wine he likes though" I worried, scanning the signs above the aisles.

"Babes, he loves you. I doubt he'll care if it's wine or fizzy apple juice in his cup" She teased and I groaned.

"I don't know how to do this Aaliyah! Colby was the one who did the romantic shit-" I complained, Aaliyah interrupting me, "So now it's your turn! 50/50 remember" and I sighed, "But it's so hard! I don't know what he likes"

"That's the fun of dating Leighton! You get to learn and explore each other" She smirked, my ears getting warm, glancing around me, subconsciously turning down my phone volume.

"Aaliyah, shut up!" I hissed, rolling my eyes at her snickering.

"Bubs, it isn't hard. If you think it's cute, or could taste good, or be fun to do, buy it. Do it. Have fun. Dates are fun!"

"Do I need to plan multiple actives? Like a birthday party?"

She laughed, and I felt extremely embarrassed as she spoke, regretting even asking for her help. "Cook him something, or order something. Maybe buy a treat, you got the sparkling juice and you're going to watch a movie, no? You're fine"

"So I don't need like a game.. or puzzle or something?"

"If you want to do that whilst watching a movie, go ahead, but you're just fine cuddling on the couch and watching a movie"

"Alright.. I'll text you later with some photos of the set up"

"Alright, good luck babes! He'll love it!"

"Love you bye-"

"Bye-"

"-WAIT!" I spoke frantically, getting glances from the people around me.

"What?"

"Do I cook with him, or do I cook for him?"

"Does he like cooking with you?"

"He said he wanted to learn.."

"Like you're a good chef!" She laughed and I pouted.

"I'm trying!"

"That's so cute! You're trying together!" She squealed, grinning at me, "Most men want it cooked for them, but you could do it together if you wanted to add another activity"

~

"Fuck this shit" I hissed, balling up the fairy lights and throwing them onto the floor.

Stupid Colby wanting stupid romantic bullshit.

I was trying to prep my apartment for tonight, and it wasn't going well.

I spent the past twenty minutes trying to hang those cute lights, wanting to make my apartment look like Pinterest, but I was not a Pinterest bitch, clearly, since the lights were now balled up in front of me.

I stared down at the lights, feeling defeated and determined all at the same time.

I was determined to make it look cute in here, but I was pissed off that it was so hard to do.

I glanced at my phone, groaning when I saw it was 3:20. Gemma was going to wake up soon, and I haven't made any progress with decorating this place.

I Swiffer swept the floors before she got up, wanting to try and at least make my apartment look presentable.

Gemma woke up in an independent mood, meaning no snuggles, no down time and straight into play and snacks. I walked into my living room after washing a few dishes, taking a deep breath when I saw a mess of toys, seeing her sitting in the middle of them, digging through a bin.

I just cleaned in there.

"Mama?" She called, turning to look for me, surprised to see me looking at her.

"Yes baby?"

"Banky?" She frowned, looking back down at her toys.

"What blanket?"

"Banky?"

"Fuzzy blanket or Coco's blanket?" I asked, her face lighting up at his name.

"Coco!" She squealed, leaning forward to press her hands against the plush rug, pushing herself up onto her feet.

"You want Coco's blanket, or to see Coco?"

"Coco!" She squealed, running over to me, crashing into my legs, my hands resting against her back before she could fall.

"It's in your crib love bug" I told her, Gemma immediately turning around to run down the hallway.

I giggled to myself at the way she ran, bouncing at her closed door, waiting for me.

With her koala blanket in hand, we went to the kitchen where I plopped her into the standing High Chair Logan had bought us, Gemma's hands slapping the counter as she leaned forward.

"Gonna help mama make Coco dinner before dada comes to get you?" I asked, opening the fridge to grab the thawed chicken and some of the veggies I needed to chop.

With the cutting board placed in front of Gemma, I grabbed one of the kid knives my mom had bought her, handing it to her which she immediately grabbed, hitting the plastic cutting board with it.

I placed a few mushrooms in front of Gemma so she could "cut" them, helping me as I sliced the veggies, tossing them into a pan.

"You're doing so well baby" I smiled down at her, loudly laughing when she touched the mushroom, squirming and squealing at the feel. "AHH!" She yelled, shoving it away.

"Not a mushroom fan? It's okay, neither is Papa" I smiled at her, taking a few of the mushrooms out of the container and slicing them, adding them to the veggie mixture. "Want to try zucchini baby?" I asked, grabbing one of the scraps and offering it to her.

She happily put it in her mouth, and immediately spat it out.

"Is it yucky?" I giggled, watching her face contort into confused anger. "Here, want something yummy?" I asked, quickly moved to the fridge, grabbing the container of pre cut strawberries, rinsing off a few, slicing each slice into fours, passing them over to her.

Gemma watched me slice the chicken breast into chunks, giggling when they plopped into the pan, sizzling.

"Do you like cooking Gem?" I asked, noticing the way she was intently watching, wanting to help and how vocal she was being during the process.

I loved hearing her giggles whilst I cooked, or the way she tried to help. It was so surreal watching her help me with such tasks.

It reminded me that I made this little human, who was quite in fact a real human.

I made this giggling mess of cuteness, and here she was watching me cook and helping me cut mushrooms.

I moved her over towards the stove, a safe distance from the burners as I cooked the chicken and veggies, pouring the rice into the pot.

Once dinner was done, I cut one of the pieces of chicken into small pieces, dishing a little bit of the rice into a bowl and slicing some of the cooked veggies, offering her a bowl of the prepared dinner for Colby and I. After all, she was the sous chef, she deserved to try it.

"Yummy? Did we do good, baby?, Think Coco is gonna like it?" I took her silence as a compliment, giggling at how she was shoveling the rice into her mouth. "I think it's safe to say you like it G" I laughed, grabbing a spoon to try the rice myself, hoping I didn't over cook it.

"Mm!" I hummed at her, Gemma grinning back at me, her baby spoon clutched in her hand as the opposite hand dug in the small bowl.

I made sure Gemma was packed, letting her pick out her pajamas before Gabe got here, Gemma pouting when she had to go.

"Coco?" She whined, Gabe holding her on his hip, her weekend bag in his other hand.

"You'll see Coco some other day, okay?" I reassured, hoping she'll leave tears free this time.

"Coco!" She whined, Gabe eyeing me.

Gabe and I eventually caved, waiting for Colby to get here so Gemma could see him before she left.

I buzzed him up, waiting by the door.

When I opened the door, I heard my daughter gasp, her bare feet slapping against the wood floor as she ran to the door, yelling "Coco!", Colby grinning when he saw her.

"Gem Gem! Hi baby" He greeted, crouching to hug her.

"She's been waiting" I informed him, nodding towards Gabe who was sitting on my couch, scrolling through his phone. "She's supposed to be at daddy's house, but I uh.. told her you were coming, and she held protest"

Colby gave Gemma a bit of attention before Gabe got up, announcing they should get going so he could give Gemma dinner and bathe her before bed.

"No go!" She cried, Colby handing her off to Gabe.

"I'll see you again Gem Gem" Colby reassured her, tears collecting in her eyes.

I hated seeing her cry.

She cried every single time she left with Gabe, and it killed all three of us.

Once my unhappy child was out the door, I let out a sigh, hating that she was upset.

"She'll be okay. She's getting used to it, remember?" Colby reassured me and I nodded, not feeling any better though.

Colby pulled me into a hug, and I rested my head against his chest as he held me in the entryway for a minute.

"She'll have a good time" he reassured me again, pressing a kiss against my head.

I instantly remembered we had made dinner, pushing myself away from him and rushing to the kitchen.

Colby called after me, following me into the kitchen as I turned the burner from low to off, moving the pan of chicken away from the warm burner.

"Gem and I made you dinner" I informed, turning everything off that was keeping it warm.

"You made me dinner? Leigh" He asked, his tone sounding regretful, but I ignored it, stirring the rice.

"I uh.. sort of planned a night for us?" I turned around, leaning against the counter next to the stove.

"A night together? Why didn't you tell me? I could've brought something"

"Wanted it to be a surprise" I muttered, embarrassed by this whole ordeal.

"Baby" he sighed, guilt masking his facial features.

"What?"

"I ate before I came, I didn't know" He frowned, my face dropping.

"Oh"

"I'm sorry. If I would've known-"

"No, it's okay. I'll just uh.." I paused, turning around and grabbing a single plate to dish myself food.

I was so stupid.

This is why I don't do romantic shit, or surprises.

"Leighton" he spoke up, but I ignored him, using tongs to place some of the veggies on my plate.

a/n: Hibachi chicken fried rice via 40aprons.com 

His arms wrapped around my waist, his head leaning down to the crook of my neck, murmuring "I'm sorry" into my ear, placing a kiss against the vein of my neck.

"It's fine, let me just put this away" I wiggled out of his grasp, setting my plate onto the counter and digging in my cupboard for a few containers, not wanting the food to spoil.

"It looks delicious, can I try it before you put it away?" He asked and I shrugged, nodding.

"Bowl or plate?"

"Plates fine"

I nodded, passing him a plate, grabbing us each a fork.

Colby dished himself a smaller portion, asking what the sauce was.

"it's like a sweet and spicy creamy sauce"

"So you planned us a surprise?" he asked, sitting down next to me at the table.

"I was trying to be romantic" I mumbled, feeling stupid.

"So what was your original plan before I ruined it?" He asked, his eyes on me. I placed the fork into my mouth, the hair on my neck standing up as I blushed, looking away and moving the fork back down to the plate.

"Well uh.. I made you dinner, trying to be nice.. was gonna sit on the couch and eat it whilst we watched a movie. You said you wanted to cuddle and watch movies and stuff.. so I thought I'd try.. didn't uh.. didn't know I needed to warn you before hand"

"We can still do that Leighton; this tastes good by the way. Remind me to tell Gem she did a good job" He smiled over at me, scooping some of the rice onto his fork, making me laugh when he picked a piece of chicken up with his fingers, placing it on his fork.

"So that's where G gets it from" I teased, stabbing a few of the veggies.

"What do you mean?"

"She's been trying to use her utensils more, she does that. She'll place her food on top" I giggled, memories of Gemma becoming frustrated when the food fell off every time she scooped, all of it landing on her bib and tray before it made it to her mouth.

"It's called quick thinking" he grinned, making me let out a breathy laugh.

It felt good to sit with him at the table, eating the food I had made, even if he did eat beforehand.

Colby even helped me clean up the kitchen. I washed he dried, and helped put it away, making it go by quicker. When we moved to the living room, I sat down and started putting Gemma's toys back into her bin, when I heard him go, "Leighton, what's this?" making me peak around the couch.

"Oh. Fairy lights"

"What are they doing on the floor?"

"I was trying to make the living room pretty, and got frustrated" I confessed, chucking the singular Barbie doll into the bin, rolling my eyes at how many times I've stepped on it in the middle of the night.

Somehow Colby got me to agree to letting him help me put them up, telling me to consider it as an apology for eating before he got here.

I stood on one side of the TV, Colby on the other as we tried to drape the lights around, both of us getting frustrated when it would slip down the wall.

"This is bullshit. Where do you buy these?" He asked, annoyed as he tried to get them to stay again.

"The dollar store"

"Well no shit they suck"

"Hey! I'm broke!"

"Baby, if you wanted fairy lights, you could've asked. I would've happily ordered you some" He laughed, both of us giving up on them, the lights ending up in a pile on the floor again.

I watched Colby pull out his phone, a few minutes going by before he handed it over.

"Pick some out, I'll buy them" He said, showing me his Amazon account with "Fairy Lights" typed into the search bar.

When he saw I picked the cheapest ones, he rolled his eyes.

"We're getting the fancy remote control ones. Just remember to bring them with you when we move in together" He said nonchalantly, my body freezing as I looked over at him.

"Moving in together?" I asked, Colby glancing over his phone at me.

"At some point" He nodded, agreeing with himself.

I stayed quiet, taking a seat on the couch when I remembered I bought the sparkling cider.

Sadly I didn't own any wine glasses, so I pulled out some small water glasses, tearing the wrapping off and popping the bottle open, listening to it fizz.

With two glasses in hand, I made it back to the couch, setting them down on the glass coffee table.

"What's that?" He asked, the clink of the glass on glass catching his attention.

"Sparkling juice"

"Why?" He laughed, a frown on my face. "No, I wasn't making fun of you! I mean why did you buy it? Out of curiosity" he tried to cover his ass, but I still felt stupid. "Leighton" He sighed, slipping his phone into his pocket and moving to be closer to me.

"No! This was stupid. I was stupid. I'm sorry" I rushed, pushing myself off the sofa and b-lining it towards the bathroom.

Not only did I really have to pee, but I wanted to get away from the situation.

Mid pee, there was a knock on the door, followed by a "Leighton, please come out" making me sigh.

I wiped and flushed, turning on the tap as I soaped up my hands, another knock on the door. "Leighton? Baby? Please come out, it wasn't stupid, I promise" He tried again, but I kept my head down, watching the soap suds rinse away, not wanting to look at my reflection in the mirror.

I wasn't mad that he had eaten before, or that he thought the juice was silly, hell even I thought it was silly. I was just... it sucked feeling like I actually tried, and it wasn't worth it.

I never did this shit with Gabe, and I was extremely nervous of doing something wrong, and disappointing Colby, knowing he did have some sort of expectation, and it felt like that happened.

I failed him. Again.

I twisted the knob, hearing the lock pop, and Colby let out a breath of relief as I opened the door.

"I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" I confessed, reminding myself that we needed to communicate better.

"I'm sorry" He apologized again, my eyes staring at the black socks on his feet, not wanting to look him in the eye.

"No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have-" I started, but he cut me off, shaking his head.

"No. It was mine. I do want this sort of stuff, and I'm really thankful you did make dinner, and I love that you bought us sparkling cider. I love that you bought fairy lights to try and make it look cute. I love you for that, and I'm sorry if you thought I didn't care, or want to. I didn't know you had gotten the juice for tonight. I wasn't expecting any of this, that was all. I'm sorry for ruining your plans" He apologized profusely.

"I just wanted to surprise you" I pouted, wanting to kick myself to the curb for being so fucking stupid. "Wanted to make you happy" I pathetically confessed, Colby's hands cupping my jaw, placing a sweet, lingering kiss against my lips.

"You make me very happy Leighton Rae, and I'm very appreciative of the effort you put into tonight. It isn't ruined, I promise. What did you have planned for us to watch?" He asked, clearly trying to bring me back to my excitement before he crushed my dreams.

"Well I don't own a DVD player, so I figured we could watch something on Netflix?"

"You want to Netflix and Chill?" He teased, and I narrowed my eyes at him, his lips tugging into a smirk.

"You never want to have sex with me"

"That's not true" He gasped.

I cocked an eyebrow, "Every time I tried, you turned me down"

Colby shook his head at me, intertwining our hands and dragging me to the living room.

With the lights off and two comfy blankets in our laps, Leigh handed me the sparkling juice and we scrolled through Netflix.

It felt nice to lay in the dimly lit room, Colby's arm draped over my shoulder as I tucked into his chest.

Halfway through the movie I felt my eyes droop, so I drank more of the juice, hoping the carbonation burn would wake me up a little bit.

"You can sleep Leighton" Colby spoke softly, his breath hitting the top of my hair. "You've had a long day, you don't need to stay awake for the movie"

I allowed my eyes to close, listening to Colby's heartbeat, the sound of the movie becoming more and more distant.

~

It felt nice to lay in the dimly lit room, Colby's arm draped over my shoulder as I tucked into his chest.

Halfway through the movie I felt my eyes droop, so I drank more of the juice, hoping the carbonation burn would wake me up a little bit.

"You can sleep Leighton" Colby spoke softly, his breath hitting the top of my hair. "You've had a long day, you don't need to stay awake for the movie"

I allowed my eyes to close, listening to Colby's heartbeat, the sound of the movie becoming more and more distant.

~

I woke up in my bed, snuggled close to the heat source, one eye popping open, being met with Colby's bare chest.

He was laying on his back, his head turned away from me as he softly breathed through his mouth, his chest slowly rising and falling with each inhale he took.

He looked so pretty and snuggly.

I slowly shifted, careful to not wake him, placing a soft kiss against his heart tattoo, murmuring "I love you" against his skin before carefully moving out of bed.

Freshly showered, I slipped Colby's hoodie over my naked chest, digging through my drawer for sexier underwear, mentally sighing when I realized I needed to buy more now that I was dating somebody.

I slipped a dark blue thong on, digging through a lower drawer for some shorts.

Annoyingly Colby's hoodie wasn't long enough to cover my ass. Problems with having a skinny boyfriend, and having wide hips, and thick thighs. Their shit doesn't fit how you wish it would.

I wanted to look cute, or sexy or whatever, but that apparently wasn't in the cards for today as I pinched the shorts on my butt, adjusting how they sat, having pulled them up too far.

"Babe? What are you doing?" He stifled a laugh, yawning as his eyes squinted close, shifting so he was leaning on his elbows, watching me pull the shorts off.

"Trying to find something to wear" I grumbled, tugging his hoodie off and chucking it at him.

I felt his eyes burn into my naked back as I adjusted my thong on my hip bones.

I found dark gray, stretchy shorts, slipping those on and retying the strings, digging through a different drawer for a bra, seeing as I wasn't going to be wearing his hoodie now.

"You've given me quite the show this morning" he teased, my hand instinctively giving him the middle finger.

I heard the bed squeak before feeling arms wrap around my midsection.

"Good morning Leigh" He murmured, contorting his body to kiss me. "These shorts are reminding me of those red ones you wore" He mumbled, his thumbs going into the waistband, pulling them up higher before letting go and smacking my ass.

"Hey!" I shrieked, spinning around to face him.

"Payback!"

"For what?!"

"All the times you've smacked my ass"

I pouted, my hands snaking around his waist, squeezing his ass.

He cocked an eyebrow at me and I shrugged, leaning up on my tip toes, our lips brushing as I muttered, "girlfriend tax" before kissing him, squeezing his ass one more and slipping out of his grasp, quickly running to the kitchen before he could retaliate.

I dug out two bowls, grabbing cereal and milk, leaving out the options for Colby as I poured mine into my bowl, huffing when a few landed on the floor.

"Pick your poison" I motioned to the boxes, Colby reaching for the Coco Pebbles which made me smile.

"What's the plan for today? I leave tomorrow" He asked, taking the spoon from my hand and moving to the table whilst I put the boxes away.

"Well I have to FaceTime Gemma soon, and Cynthia invited me over for dinner, so I have about" I paused, turning to look at the clock on the microwave, "7 hours to be with you, unless you leave early. Do you have plans?"

"We have a night shoot at 8, other than that, I'm all yours"

"Have you figured out what we're doing for Katrina's birthday?" I asked, wincing when the chair made an awful squeak sound, scooting it against the tile floor. "That's what.. in a week?" I asked, Colby nodding.

"I'm not sure what she's doing. She was debating going to her dad's house, but who knows"

Later that afternoon, Colby and I decided to go hiking together, which honestly I should've known didn't mean actual hiking.

"Colby, this isn't even a trail anymore" I huffed, annoyed that I've almost twisted my ankle twice now.

This was not in the fine print when we agreed on going hiking.

"Careful it's steep" He warned, slipping a little down the hill. "Here, wait" He spoke up, getting his footing and offering me his hand. "Careful" He reminded again and I nodded, my hand deathly clutching his, Colby grabbing my waist so If I slipped I didn't go down.

"This is stupid" I muttered, Colby chuckling, making sure I was stable before letting go.

"We don't have to if you don't want to" He reminded me, stepping over a log, offering me his hand again.

"It's not that.. I just don't want to fuck over my ankles today"

"Well don't fall" He teased and I glared.

"Fuck you"

"Glady, when and where?"

"Shut up. You know, the last time I did this, I think it was Molly? She busted her ankle and my pregnant ass had to carry her to the car" I huffed, horrible flashbacks playing through my head. "I really thought I was gonna die that day" I laughed, my hand clutching Colby's shoulder from behind, not wanting to be left behind whilst he got excited over wherever we were going.

"Well if I bust my ankle, good luck" he grinned at me, laughing at my narrowed eyes.

"That's not funny"

"It's a little funny"

"Shut your mouth Brock, be careful!" I warned, annoyed by the smile on his face.

"I'm always careful"

"Mhm, that's why you broke your leg. You're always careful"

"Hey! It's healed now" He shook his leg at me.

"Let's not risk it, yeah?" I asked, already knowing he wasn't going to listen to me.

"No promises" He grinned and I groaned.

~

"Well, what do you think?" He asked.

"Looks like a bunch of trees to me" I replied, looking around at the woods we were now standing in. "Planning on murdering me here?" I asked, turning to look back at him.

"How did you know? I worked my ass off to get you to date me, so now that you are, I'm going to chop you up into little pieces and sprinkle you beneath our feet" He motioned towards the leaves, looking down, taking a few small steps back.

"Will you at least fuck me first?" I asked, Colby letting out a choked laugh, his jaw dropping a little.

"Leighton!"

"What?"

"What, you just want me to pound you right here? And then brutally murder you?"

"Well no one said it had to be brutal. Now you're just ad libbing. Got something you need to get off your chest, Colby?" I teased, my hands on my hips.

"Yeah I've been having dreams where I bring you out into the woods and then I fuck you, and chop you into tiny pieces and scatter you around. Ya know, feed the animals? Reduce, reuse, recycle" He mocked, his cheeks tightening as he tried not to laugh.

"Shut up" I giggled, moving to wrap my arms around his waist, giving him a quick peck, trying to pull away only for his hands to tighten around my waist, keeping me close.

"I'm going to need a proper kiss before I let you go" He hummed to me, my head tilting.

"But I just did?"

He shook his head. "I'm going to need a cock hardening kiss baby girl"

"A what?" I laughed, my hand sliding down his chest, resting on his lower abdomen, smirking when I felt his core flex under my touch.

"Give me your best shot" He said, his pupils dilating, my heart racing.

I locked eyes with him, biting my lower lip and slowly trailing my hand down to his dick, only for Colby's hand to grab my wrist, our hands resting right in front of his dick as he whispered "That's cheating", my stomach flipping and my cheeks becoming red.

He brought my hand up to his shoulder, placing my arms around his neck, his hands holding my waist. "If you can get me hard by your kiss, I'll fuck you right here, right now" He promises, my eyes widening.

"In the woods?!" I whisper yelled, turning my head to look around us.

"Nobodies here"

"So you won't fuck me in the privacy of your bedroom, but you'll drop your pants and dick me down in the woods?!" He just smirked. "Cole!"

"Don't act like you don't want to"

"You're an exhibitionist?"

He cocked an eyebrow, "You're not?"

"Well.. I.."

He smirked.

"You're wasting precious time baby"

"Oh fuck off" I grumbled, pulling him closer to me, letting my tongue wet his lower lip before kissing him softly.

I wanted to start soft and slow, create anticipation in hopes that it would work him up quicker.

I let my hands snake to his hair, pulling softly, hearing him let out a soft groan when I slipped my tongue past his lips, allowing our tongues to move together, keeping it soft, slow and sweet.

My hands ran back down to his neck, softly grazing the shell of his ear before running down his shoulders to his chest, my feet falling to the ground, Colby having to lean down so I could reach, making my stomach flutter.

I bit his lip, pulling a little before sucking on his lower lip, a low moan making his adams apple bop. I whimpered, making Colby practically growl against me, feeling him start to become hard against my thigh.

He loves my noises, noted.

I amped it up a bit, moaning out of delight when his tongue brushed against mine, his hands slipping down to my ass, squeezing which made me moan louder and unintentionally rut against him.

Within 2 minutes he was practically humping my leg, a smug smirk on my face as I pulled away, both of us becoming breathless.

"I win" I huffed, grinning at how flush his face was.

He didn't even reply, pulling me back into his chest, kissing me hard, his hands going under my ass to pick me up, my legs wrapping around his waist, Colby groaning when his cock rubbed against my crotch.

"Colby" I mumbled, pulling away and letting him attack my neck so I could breathe and talk.

"Hm?" He hummed against my neck, a soft moan leaving my lips as I rolled my head to the side, his tongue running over the sore skin.

"I haven't- Ooh" I breathed, feeling him smirk against my neck. "I haven't had sex.. in.. a while" I warned, my breathing becoming heavier, gasping when his tongue hit my ear before his teeth pulled at my earlobe, kissing behind my ear. "I might not.. be able.. to take.. take you." I got out, my hips grinding against him, Colby groaning at the friction.

"Just means I'll need to get you nice and wet" He spoke in a low hum, my pussy starting to throb, making me press down hard against him. "God" He groaned, his hands squeezing my ass, pushing me harder against his bulge as he grinded into me.

I felt my back hit tree bark, wincing at how rough it was.

"Careful" I murmured, my eyes closing, trying to hold back a moan that was threatening to spill from my vocal cords.

"I'm sorry baby, here" He turned around, his back hitting the tree.

His hand slipped into my athletic shorts, pushing my underwear out of the way before brushing over my clit, his blue eyes darkening as his finger slid through my folds.

"Leighton, you're plenty wet. I don't think you'll have any problem taking me" He said, his finger pressing into my clit.

I leaned forward, biting the top of his shoulder to muffle my moan.

His middle finger slowly pushed into me, my lips parting as Colby's eyes closed, subconsciously rutting down against his finger.

"Leigh, you're tight, I'm going to need to finger you for a minute" He said softly, his arm flexing under me, shifting his grasp which made his finger go deeper, his thumb brushing against my clit.

"Jesus Christ" I exhaled, rocking my hips against his hand. "Add another, please" I begged, leaving a lingering kiss against his collarbone, trying to stay quiet.

I ended up coming undone on his fingers, Colby slipping them out of my pants, bringing them up to my lips. "Since you have a hand kink" He muttered, slipping his fingers into my mouth, his eyes rolling back when my tongue intactly swirled around each digit, flicking the tip of his finger with my tongue.

My feet touched the ground so Colby could unbutton his jeans, shimmying them down to just under his ass.

"Baby, I'm not going to last long. I haven't had sex in over a year, and I really don't want to think about anything other than you and risk going flaccid" He said honestly, rolling his eyes when I laughed.

"Colby, we're in the fucking woods. If you think we're having sex for anything longer than like 10 minutes, we're going home" I teased, tugging his underwear down, one hand finding his cock, the other squeezing his ass, our eyes finding each other as I grinned, Colby shaking his head.

"You're addicted to my ass, I swear"

"Would you let me peg you?" I asked, his eyes going wide as my hand pumped his cock, my thumb gliding over his slit, watching him shudder and moan.

"Wh-what?" He choked out, his eyes popping open. "Why the fuck- oh god" He groaned, precum slipping out of his slit and running down the underside of his dick, right over the vein. "Fuck" he low groaned, my clit throbbing at the sound of his moan.

There is nothing hotter than when a guy moans under your touch.

It's a two way street.

"Would you let me peg you?" I asked again, crouching down to lick the precum away, wishing I could blow him till he came, but my cunt was craving him.

"Absolutely not"

"Why not?" I asked, before taking him deep in my throat, Colby loudly groaning, his hand wrapping around my high pony, pulling me off his cock.

"I need to be inside of you, now" he demanded quietly, his hand tugging at his cock.

I swear I was going to drip down my thighs at the sight of him jerking off his cock right in front of me.

I pulled my underwear off from under my shorts, sticking it in Colby's back jean pocket, hooking my right leg over his hip as my hand leaned against the tree bark next to his head; Colby's arm going under my knee to keep my leg up, his hand dipping into my shorts from the leg, flicking my clit, which made me bite my lip to hold back a loud moan, groaning from the pleasure of him rubbing my clit, and the pain of how hard I was biting my lip.

I grinded my soaked crotch against his hand, whining when he slipped his hand out of my shorts, his wet fingers running over the tip of his cock before lining it up with my center and slowly pushing the tip in, both of us groaning.

"You're so tight, jesus christ" He groaned, his eyes squeezing shut as my left hand gripped his bicep, keeping steady.

"Tell me if it hurts, okay?" He said and I nodded, Colby pushing himself in deeper, going slow, his eyes scanning my face before he fully bottomed out in me, our lips attaching to cover our loud groans and moans.

He rocked his hips slowly against me, not moving that far out as he pushed back in.

"You're not allowed to cum in me brock" I warned, "I'm not on birth control yet. That shit's expensive"

"I'm sure you have some other warm hole I can release into" He spoke with a rough voice, his hips moving a little quicker as I reciprocated the movements, swiveling my hips with his thrust, both of us moaning loudly, Colby's hand coming up to my throat, holding lightly, leaning in to kiss me.

"Gotta be quiet baby"

His hips snapped hard against me, making me whine out in pain.

"Shit, sorry baby" He kissed my cheek down to my neck, sucking on the prominent vein.

He moved slower, practically growling when his name fell from my lips repeatedly, followed by a few colorful words as my stomach tightened.

"I'm so close, fuck" I groaned, moving my hips faster, Colby's hand dropping from my neck to my breasts, squeezing and pinching my erect nipples.

"Can you... fuck. Can you.." I paused, moving my hand to lift my tank top up and pull my sports bra down so my left boob was exposed to him. "Suck me please, god they're so sensitive, please" I begged, the nub rolling between my fingers as he groaned and rocked his hips quicker, his head dropping to attach his lips to my nipple.

Even though I stopped breastfeeding, they were still very sensitive to the touch and with Colby sucking my nipple and rubbing my clit as we grinded together, I listened to him encourage me to cum as my head dropped forward, my knees buckling and my stomach tightening. "Fuck, I'm going to cum" I cried out, Colby sucking harder on my nipple, as one hand played with my clit and the other squeezed my ass.

"Fuck, Colby! Shit, shit, wait, oh fuck. Stop, wait-" I cried out, my legs wobbling, my right leg aching.

Colby immediately stopped, a whine leaving my lips when his hips stilled.

"What's wrong?"

"My leg hurts, it's like cramping. Fuck please- Ah I'm so close to cumming it's not even funny" I whined, trying to rock my hips forward, but his hands held them steady.

He let my leg fall, slipping out of me, ignoring my protest as he tugged off his hoodie, laying it down on the ground.

"Here, lay your back on that"

I gave him a weird look, hesitantly sitting down, my shoulder blade hitting a rock, causing me to shift.

Colby dropped to his knees, tugging my shorts to my ankles, my knees propped up as he slowly pushed back into me, working his hips back to his quick past.

My back arched off the ground as he repeatedly hit my g-spot.

"Fuck, your knees! You're gonna.. get.. oh god Colby!, You're gonna get cuts!"

"I. Don't. Care." he breathed out with his thrusts, my legs starting to shake as I whined, not caring who heard me.

It felt too good to care.

"Let go Leigh, give me your cum. Cover my cock in your beautiful cum, mark me baby. You're so close, I can see it in your fast, your clit is fucking quivering baby, drench me babygirl" He encouraged, my hips freezing as I started to crumble, crying as he kept attacking my most sensitive areas. "Look at me Leighton, let me watch you cum" He breathed out, his arms resting by my shoulders, our eyes holding their stare as I bit my lip, my face scrunching up.

"Colby! I can't! Fuck I want to, but I can't!" I cried out, struggling to keep them open due to the immense pleasures, finally letting go and feeling myself start to run down my center and around his cock.

I felt the warm liquid drench my folds and run to the crease of my thigh, opening my eyes to see Colby watching me.

"Leighton, where do you want me to cum? If I don't stop I will cum in you" He warned, struggling to breath as he pulled out of me, both of us whining and groaning at the loss of contact.

"Cum on me, I don't care" I breathed out, my back arching as I rocked my hips, hating that I wasn't full of him anymore.

I watched him jerk off his cock, my fingers running through my juices and playing with my clit, feeling another orgasm build as I watched Colby's head roll back, letting out struggling breaths before a loud groan fell from his lips and his thick cum landed on my stomach.

I could hear my wrist snapping from how quick I was rubbing my clit, moaning and groaning as I felt this immense pressure build in my stomach.

"Keep fisting your cock, I'm so close" I breathed out, not daring to look him in the eye, feeling extremely embarrassed that I was getting off to watching him jerk off.

Thankfully he didn't make any comments about it, groaning as he ran his fingers over his sensitive slit and before I knew it, I squirted all over his stomach, my eyes squeezed shut as I whimpered and whined.

I knew my back was going to hurt like hell tomorrow, based off the hard ground and how arched it had been, but it was worth it.

"Open your eyes Leighton Rae, look at your cum run down my stomach to my aching cock, it's so pretty baby" Colby spoke, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I opened my eyes, seeing the clear liquid run down the outline of his abs.

"Fuck" I groaned, hiding my face with my hands, wishing the ground would just swallow me whole.

"Don't you dare hide from me" He pulled at my wrists, pinning my arms to the ground. "That was so fucking hot you have no idea" He said softly, leaning down to kiss my lips, but I turned my head so he hit my cheek, feeling like I was going to cry.

All I could hear in my head was "God you're so fucking weird" and "What the fuck is wrong with you?" my breathing became heavy, struggling to breathe as I felt the hot tears wash my face.

I felt Colby's hand tap my cheek a few times, his faint voice going in one ear and out the other, not being able to make out what he was saying.

I could feel my shirt be pulled down and my shorts pulled up before his hands pulled me upright, coddling me.

I pushed him off of me, hugging my knees and hiding my face.

I wanted it to stop.

I eventually wiped the tears, snapping back into the moment, feeling even more embarrassed.

Great, I just cried after sex; and not that "We just made love" cry either.

Fucking great.

Fuck me.

Way to fucking go Leighton.

"Leighton, are you hurt?"

"I'm so sorry!" I cried, preparing to look up at Colby, only to find him crouched in front of me, his pants buttoned and digging into his stomach. "It felt so good, I'm so sorry! I don't know what I was thinking! I swear, I won't do it again! Please-" I cried, my heart trying to beat out of my chest.

"Are you hurt?" He asked again, looking extremely worried.

I shook my head, not being able to stop the tears.

My eyes focused on Colby's face, my head tilting.

He looked confused, not disgusted?

"Leighton, talk to me, please" he begged, his hands hovering over my skin, seeming afraid to touch me.

You're so fucking stupid!

"Hey, look at me" He said in a soft tone, his hand touching mine, the flesh feeling like it was on fire. "Leighton, I love you baby, you're safe, you're okay. It's me, Colby. Please talk to me. Do you regret it? Leighton you can always say no. You have every right to turn me down. I can go jack off in the shower if you didn't want to, baby you always have a choice" His hands cradled my face, wiping my tears.

"I don't.... I don't... regret... regret it" I breathed out, guilt weighing down my chest. "I'm.. I'm.. I'm sorry.. for... for... for.. crying"

"Breathe. In. Out. In. Out." he coached, taking a few minutes to get my breathing to even out. "What just happened?" He asked, tossing me his hoodie, allowing me to throw it over my tank top.

"I'm so stupid, I'm so sorry! Fuck, I.. fuck! I cried after sex like a loser!" I whined, covering my face, only to have Colby pull my hands away.

"Please tell me why you cried?"

"I... god" I groaned, throwing my head back, wanting to run away.

"Please tell me why you had a panic attack. Please baby, my minds going crazy"

"I.. I.. I didn't mean.. mean to.. mean to squirt, I swear! It just.. it felt.. it felt so.. so good? I couldn't stop! I didn't.. I didn't know! Please.. please.. don't be mad" I struggled, wiping at my nose and eyes.

"Baby, it was fucking hot. I'm not mad at all" He let out a light laugh, a small smile on his face as he tilted his head, looking at me with this stupid lovesick puppy look in his eyes. "Why would I be mad that you were enjoying yourself? So much in fact that you squirted all over me, which might I add again, was fucking hot. Almost came again from that"

I stayed quiet.

"Leighton?"

"It's stupid. It doesn't matter, sorry" I brushed off, pushing myself to stand up, only to wobble, "Shit" I hissed, falling into his lap, kneeing his groin.

"Oh my god" He let out a quick breath, his face contorting into pain.

"Shit! I'm so sorry!" I scurried off his lap, Colby's hands stopping me, shifting me so my thighs were straddling him.

"Are you sure you're not trying to murder me?" He joked in a pained tone, a frown on my face.

"I'm so sorry" I apologized again, Colby's eyes squinting open.

"It's okay.."

"No it's not! I fucked this all up!"

"Baby, it's okay. It's not the first time I've been kneed in the balls" He chuckled, his thumb wiping at my face again.

"That's not funny! I didn't mean to hurt you" I frowned.

"Hey, I still love you and I know it was an accident. Now can you please tell me why you started sobbing after your orgasm? We both know those weren't blissful tears"

"It's embarrassing"

"Leighton, anxiety attacks aren't embarrassing, nor are the reasons for why it was triggered. Please tell me what happened, so I know for next time, that is if there is a next time, not to do it again"

I instantly felt like shit.

He thinks it's his fault.

"It wasn't your fault, I swear"

"Please talk to me. This is a safe space. I won't judge you, or think any less of you"

"Colby..."

He sighed, turning to look away from me. "Fine, I won't pressure you to tell me." He stood up, offering me his hand.

When I stood up, I winced and then grimaced.

Liquid ran down my thigh.

"Can you hand me my bag please?" I asked, Colby nodding.

I dug out my wet wipes and cleaned off my thighs, wiping my crotch and grabbing a new one to wipe my stomach.

Colby also took a wet wipe to clean off his stomach, tossing them into a Ziplock bag in my backpack.

"I have them stashed everywhere. You never know when you'll need them when you have a toddler" I chuckled, throwing my bag over my shoulder.

"Or when your boyfriend is going to explode on your stomach" he smirked, and I chuckled, nodding.

"That too"

* * * *

Idk how to write short smut, I tried not to make it 2k this time.. I'm used to writing detailed smut one shots.. not like... book blurbs.. lmk if you prefer one shots or blurbs.. cus the last one I did was over 2k..

The second I'm invested in details... it's over.

Written on: December 27th, 28th, 29th 2022

Published on: December 28th 2022

Word Count: 7.8k

Part Forty Six

[elizabethrobertajones]

Saw you've been sucked into the MMO life in the form of FFXIV and I was wondering if you had any input into the debate I've been having about what class archetypes tfw would play. I think Sam would be most likely to tank because it requires a reasonable amount of leadership and is also more of a quiet, backbone type role compared to dps. Dean seems more the type to be singularly focused on the big damage hits tbh. He also tends to take more of the charging in and fighting role in their normal life with Sam being the one reading up on everything more carefully and being his backup. Which leaves Cas as healer which may just be me projecting because I play healer/support at every opportunity but literal angel healing aside I think that sorta fits too, he cares a lot for them and tries to keep them safe and shield them as best he can in their adventures? Idk half formed thoughts please completely contradict me if you want I'm genuinely curious about other people's opinions here

Heyooo :D It is less sucked into and more like I’ve returned to the warm cushiony nest of MMOs lol

If you’d asked me back when I was a WoW player I’d have fully agreed because you could only have one class per character and these are definitely the snap decisions that the fam would make when on the character screen. Dean would grab the sexiest DPS, Sam the stoutest tank especially as he’s the one who has read into the classes and strats beforehand, and Cas would ask what to do and be given the healer role because the other two in this scenario would know better about the game and sort of lump it onto him like, oh, we need a healer and you can do this.

(In my own gaming journey, this is what my friends and brother did to me, as they needed a healer to round out their party... I took druid because it was spoopy, and discovered in WoW that while you can’t change classes you can pay gold to respec your character’s role within that class... Promptly re-specced to a melee dps/tank feral druid instead of the healer one, and had a lot more fun :D)  

In FFXIV you can take all the classes on your character (which I have done, natch) and it’s a much more interesting levelling approach, especially seeing how my friends playing the game have gone when it comes to taking classes as they level and why they claim to have tried and then rejected others. It’s an enormous personality test, even for peeps like me and my brother who have all the classes up at max level, which ones we prioritised and which ones we sort of struggled with or found a bit meh. 

Hm so in the scenario that Charlie comes bursting into the Bunker demanding that she needs some friends for dungeons and raids and they’re all sitting on their asses scrolling the internet between a case, they can bloody well play final fantasy with her for a bit, let’s go for some headcanons :D Long because FFXIV has become my current obsession and I have the same in-depth feels about it as I do about SPN but I just never get to write about them with anyone... 

First off, Sam of course has deep nerdery about it and will ask Charlie a ton of questions about what the right class to play is and do the same thing as we’ve already discussed and go for Paladin (which starts as gladiator), and also take all the crafting and gathering side classes because he’s a nerd and you learn nonsense lore while doing it. He’s also in the same starting zone as Thaumaturge which transitions to Black Mage and I BET he’d be tempted to have a little safe witch!Sam emotional release on the most un-Sam class. It’s the big unwieldy spell caster whose literal class quests and stuff make fun of how you’re small and squishy and will be standing in a very bad spot debating whether to finish a long-cast spell and get hit or stop DPS and run for safety. I think he could do with the perspective and learning to be selfish either way to blow off steam from tanking and also learn to prioritise himself IRL :’D Also the paladin quest is WEIRDLY pro-cop from 30 onwards for some reason until the writers saw sense and just. stopped. doing paladin stuff and went back to the Gladiator storyline for the class quests, so idk if he’d enjoy that or start to question other things. Whatever it is he’s getting challenged XD

At 60 he grabs Gunbreaker because it sounds more cool and is thankfully way less emotionally stressful tanking as it’s entirely about being a badass bodyguard and sick flips. This is far more aspirational for Sam, especially as he could just tie a knife to a sawn off shotgun and do these moves for real in his day job. He won’t, but like with black mage, the thought that he COULD is very emotionally satisfying to him.

He might also have decided to check out scholar to see how healing is but idk if he would be able to handle Dean teasing him for having a fairy follow him around so he’d only dabble with the nerd class on the side :P  

Now, Dean can’t take ninja until level 10 or machinist (gun shooty DPS class) until 50, so his start point as DPS would either be pugilist (eeeey brass knuckle class!) or the other DPS classes to start with are Thaumaturge/Black Mage, Arcanist/Summoner, Archer or Lancer. Now. He’d probably think the first two are sissy because magic is for girls/arcanists literally only have a book as a weapon. Archer becomes bard and I think is ultimately a place he’d be very happy as it is a very supportive class to the whole party and basically the mom friend class. But I would love if he went lancer/dragoon because the level 50 class weapon is (folklore inspired name) “Gae Bolg” and every time I equip it I can’t help giggling at the name even though I know it’s a real thing and I shouldn’t. But. Like. It’s the class about waving enormous lances around. It’s got Implications, and Dean is drawn to those. 

He’d probably, however, take rogue/ninja as soon as he could because stabbing things with knives, and the class trainer is the kinda guy who’d have wild gay tension with him while they both try to boast about women to each other, were they to meet irl. Ironically, the rogue trainer (a womanising charmer) and the ninja trainer (an intense, honourable guy bad at social cues even among his own people who ends up falling from grace and choosing to stay in the vicinity of said rogue trainer) are an interesting pair of NPCs to teach Dean about where to stick knives. :) 

He’d go back and power-level dragoon once he starts Heavensward though, because Aymeric is also super intense with messy dark hair and big blue eyes that see right through you. :D He’s getting that gae bolg for him, you know? 

If they’re going to bully Cas to be their healer, he’d probably get really dedicated to the discipline especially as he can stay up all night to play and doesn’t need to take breaks to pee so he’d probably level conjurer/white mage (nature healing) and scholar (ancient book lore with a class quest which mixes ancient curses on a whole people, family drama and a bit of interspeciesish love) and then also pick up astrologian, which is good because it’s spooky star and making your own fate magic. The storyline for that is garbage in the sense that it’s really weakly written, but my favourite character randomly picks up AST in the latest expansion, and has an absolutely fucking wild subtextual romance with another character, including SPN level adopting of a random child who matches Jack in many respects, with said character. And in many respects emotionally they’re Cas and Dean but without any of the personal baggage between them specifically so they really are just chill and married, whatever else they’re stressed about (I say, dreading the next patch is going to finally bring up some questions about what is going on with them as it’s getting weirdly conspicuous while still utterly unsaid). So I would hope if Cas started projecting onto an astrologian character it would be him :P 

Cas also would get into summoner as the other branch of scholar because honestly those two classes are about as close to the random sigil drawing and reading things from books etc analogy to his own occult magic, except you can summon cool dragons and elementals to fight for you. 

they’d buy Jack a boost to 60 and he’d pick up dark knight and white mage probably just to subtly fuck with Dean 

(I am still not over Dean trying to test him to see if he was evil or not by whether he chose devil or angel cake) 

[locke-writes]

First off:

CONGRATS ON THE 1.7K FOLLOWERS!!! You've most definitely earned everyone, you absolute powerhouse!!!

Secondly . . . I'd like to request an OC playlist. But be warned: Of the OCs I have, they're either underdeveloped because I haven't tended to them in a long time, or because they're so freshly-baked that I'm still trying to figure things out 😅 But hey maybe bouncing off what I have so far might give some clues as to where I'm going right, where I'm going wrong, and what sort of playlist they inspire. Probably something gloomy or nonsense because of underdevelopment but --🙃

Now prepare for the world's most lame infodump!

The most recent one and the one I'd really like to put more work into, though, doesn't really have a name currently. But I currently have her placeholder name as Atarra because I want her name to begin with an "a", but also because that "tarra" bit is a reference to the name "Tara", which means "star" in Sanskrit, but also references earthiness when in English. And the reason that's important to me is because Atarra, as she is currently, is a human who quite literally stumbled into the position of being a fairy princess without any awareness she was ever human.

The idea was that as a toddler, she quite literally fell into the Fae Realm "like a falling star" and because I had apparently just recently watched The Prince of Egypt, I was hooked on the idea of her being brought before that section of the realm's royalty to figure out what to do with her and the queen deciding to take her in as one of her own. So her name would be a reference to being a falling star, while also having earthly roots as a human.

Because of her constant exposure to magic, she has longevity and does gain certain mutations as a result such as wings. However, because she's still biologically human, these mutations only go so far: Her wings appear underdeveloped when compared to biologically fae folk so she can't really fly anywhere and has to settle with walking or climbing, and she doesn't really have the ability to harness magic of her own, instead having to store it or use conduits.

Though, the fun thing about her being forced to use items to store her magic, though, is that it gives way to creative possibilities. Like, have you ever seen a fairy use a Super Soaker to shoot out magical blasts? No? Well neither has any other fae who hasn't interacted with any form of the human world. They'll be so busy staring at the thing and trying to figure out what the heck it is that they won't have any time before their face gets blasted off with 100% concentrated Abraca-Fuck-You!

She honestly has more or less become a metaphor for a person with disabilities/neurodivergency, so I might've unintentionally put a bit of myself in her in terms of shyness and how she interacts with the world around her.

The juxtaposition between her being royalty and her also having these limitations (she was raised to have no idea that she's actually human) leaves her starting off a bit insecure but wanting to nonetheless avoid disappointing her family; she knows she's off compared to most of her peers, so she feels she can't really slack off or else it'll make her look even worse than what she really is. She's the middle child with the queen's (biological) daughters, and sort of takes on a bit of their traits, trying to be dutiful and refined like her older sister while also being unable to stop herself from being playful and curious like her younger sister. She acts almost as a bridge between them because haha middle children be peacekeepers.

Because of her natural feeling of not quite connecting with others, she can get quite anxious around nobility of other kingdoms and tries to keep to herself. She'd much rather hide away in the astronomy tower to read, or steal away in her younger sister's hideout, theorizing about creatures they can't quite experience due to their pampered lifestyles (the Unseelie who live below the treeline, humans, etc).

Admittedly, because she was raised in Seelie territory, she has prejudices she has to work out, such as thinking lesser of Unseelie for things they have no control over.

Once she manages to interact with humans, though, she's unable to keep her curiosity at bay and has a tendency to wander and can't read the room for shit, partially because of her royal upbringing. Because of this, she can be a bit easy to manipulate, especially since she never wants to let anyone down.

Likes include walking barefoot, human junk food, climbing trees (because it's the closest she can get to flying), and messy art.

Dislikes include getting her hair braided (she likes the results aesthetic-wise, but the actual practice of it hurts), stiff posturing, regalia with tight sleeves, large parties, and the possibility of disappointing people.

I'm sure there's more but I've blabbered on about nothing long enough 😅 Hope any of that was useful . . . If not, feel free to message me about trying somebody else!

Thank you, and once again

CONGRATS, YO!!!!

Northern Lights - Death Cab For Cutie

Be More Kind - Frank Turner

Home - Harsh Krieger

Born to Be A Dancer - Kaiser Chiefs

World In My Eyes - Depeche Mode

When I Grow Up - Garbage

Bright Stars Burning - Hey Marseilles

A Dustland Fairytale - The Killers

Healing Star - Dishwalla

Sideshow Entertainment - Goodnight Sunrise

Dream - Imagine Dragons

Trickery - Landon Pigg

Ocean Of Night - Editors

Wings In All Black - Gregory Alan Isakov

Claim Your Dragons - Iron & Wine

All I Have - Mat Kearney

Be Ready When I Say Go - Emperors

Flower Power - Greta Van Fleet

A Bolt From the Blue - Meg Myers

People - JonPaul Palombo

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.13: “Lebanon”

THEN: They hit me right in the face with gorgeous young 1.01 Dean saying "Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" and beautiful baby 1.01 Sam saying "we've got work to do" and we end with 14.12 and Sam furiously punching his brother and then furiously hugging him and Dean saying "let's go home" and does anything else matter? No.

NOW: We see the reflection of Sam and Dean walking up to a pawn shop, with a nice selection of guitars and sunglasses and that weird monkey that was in Rocky's Bar. The proprietor seems friendly enough. Dean flashes him a wad of hundred dollar bills because they're looking for "the really good stuff." This gains them admittance into a secret back room full of things hunters would be interested in, including a hockey mask (?) and a perfume atomizer full of dragon's breath. They tell the guy they're looking for the skull of a specific woman who was executed during the Salem witch trials, and the fact that he has it basically proves that he killed the friend of theirs who previously owned it. (Also Sam picks up a teddy bear and starts to pull the string to make it speak and the guys warns him not to and this is Dean's role, isn't it, messing with things he shouldn't be messing with? But I don't care because chastized Sam and eye-rolly Dean are precious to me.)

Sam goes through a ledger of the guy's inventory and says he's got a lot of occult objects that they should take with them. (Dean plays with the dragon's breath. Sam ducks and flinches and does the really, Dean? thing with his hands and face. I laugh again.) Dean agrees they should take the stuff home.

Title card!

The Impala zooms past a sign welcoming us to Lebanon, Geographical Center of the USA. Then we find ourselves in front of a movie theater showing Beetlejuice and Hell Hazers (All Saints' Day is coming soon, and I imagine Route 666 can't be far behind), where a group of teenagers is talking about... somebody. "People say they're brothers," a kid in a knit cap says, "but all I know is, I was standing right here, and I heard this bam from the trunk of their car. And then, this like, shallow breathing." I'm pretty sure this is a fake-out, and it will turn out he's talking about someone else, but the Impala pulls up in front of the theater and Knit Cap Kid says "that's them!"

As the Winchesters get out of the car and enter a liquor store (decorated with that Family Business neon sign from Rocky's), Sam is still reading the ledger, which lists things like a hangman's rope, fairy dust, and John Wayne Gacy's cigar box. Well, that's oddly specific! The guy working there greets the "Campbell brothers" and knows their usual order. Oh, wow. I love that they're actually known in Lebanon, and that they're going by Campbell. And we know that actual Lebanon, Kansas is too small to have a movie theater or this much business downtown, but I'm happy to handwave that.

What do you mean, "happy to handwave that?" You're always complaining about the inaccuracies regarding tiny Lebanon having traffic cams and whatnot.

Well, maybe this episode just MAKES ME HAPPY, okay?

Anyway. Sam thinks cataloguing the confiscated items would be a good way to take Dean's mind off "things," but Dean's pretty convinced nothing will ever take his mind off that.

Outside, the teens are asking where the guys even come from, and what about their weird trenchcoat-wearing sidekick, and "that kid with the dumb Bambi look on his face all the time" (!) One girl says that, whatever the deal is with these guys, they do have an awesome car, and no one can argue with that. And the other girl, Max, who seems to smitten with the first girl, gets an idea.

Inside, Sam has discovered something significant in the ledger - the "beyzoo" (no, I know that's not how you spell it), which is one of eight ancient Chinese treasures. A pearl that gives you "what your heart desires." Oooh, getting rid of Michael, maybe? But as the guys are discussing this, Dean sees the Impala drive by the window. Guess Max figured out how to impress that other girl! (BTW, there are couple of COOL old trucks on the street.)

The guys see Knit Cap Kid standing on the sidewalk looking confused, and while Sam tells him the car is dangerous to whoever stole it, Dean looks like he wants to murder someone. And yet the Winchesters are confused when the kid says he doesn't want to die. (Or get locked in the trunk!) He says Max is new and he doesn't know where she lives. Dean raises a fist, but Sam pulls him away.

MURDER. I'D MURDER THEM.

Post office. There's a poster of stamps featuring old cars behind the customer service counter. I'm really getting my old truck fix tonight. Sam comes in with his sweet anxious smile and asks for help finding the girl who washed his car, since he forgot to tip her. Post Office Lady is not amused or helpful, or the least bit swayed by his sweet anxious smile. Then Dean comes in and calls her by name and asks about her grandson and she MELTS and he gets sincere and puts his hand on hers and she does exactly what I would do, which is offer up ANYTHING YOU WANT, ANYTHING AT ALL, WOULD YOU LIKE MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER WHILE I'M AT IT? Unfortunately, all she knows is where Max's mother works.

SAM’S FACE.

(Sidebar: Have I mentioned that Sam is wearing that nice blue jacket from the episode where he killed the alpha vampire? I like it. Toss that stupid orange jacket, Sam, and wear this more often. And Dean's wearing the black jacket that I always love.)

At the restaurant where Max's mom works, we learn that she has no idea where her daughter is, because she was supposed to be in school. But the guy working in the kitchen knows February 7 is Skip Day (is it always February 7? what about when that falls on a weekend?) and that she'll probably be at a party at this old house on Route 36. (Yes, I did confirm that Route 36 is just outside of Lebanon. Yes, I did use Mapquest. I'm old school up in here, y'all.)

Party house. The little batch of delinquents has taken all the boxes of occult objects out of the Impala for some reason. Including the evil teddy bear. Luckily, someone announces "pizza's here" before a girl pulls the teddy bear's string. At some point I've got to find out what would happen if you pulled it. Fic it for me, friends! (Also, I just noticed the teddy bear's mouth is SEWN SHUT and that's not creepy AT ALL.) The camera slowly pans to a wooden box, and we watch the lid open to reveal a smoky/dusty ghost hand. With a ruffled sleeve. Uh oh.

Knit Cap Kid runs in to warn the partiers that "those guys" are looking for Max, and he's told to chill. Another teen goes into the bathroom, where the mirror frosts over and then the CREEPIEST CLOWN EVER comes out of it. Seriously, creepier than the clown in Plush, which you wouldn't think was possible.

The Winchesters pull up in yet another antique truck, where Dean greets his car with "Baby, Baby, please tell me you're not hurt." Sam's more concerned about the boxes of dangerous occult objects missing from the back seat. Ghost Kid comes running outside and the girl following him tells the brothers that he saw a clown ghost that tried to kill him. Maybe it's my imagination, or maybe Sam has a flash of crap, a killer clown ghost expression before they run into the house.

Dean announces they're FBI and everyone needs to get out, now. Once the room is cleared, he asks if "anything screams clown to you?" Sam immediately notices John Wayne Gacy's cigar box and guys, I'm ashamed to say I didn't put the two together until now. The killer clown ghost is John Wayne Gacy. And Sam is freaked the fuck out about it. "We should burn that right now," Dean says, in a lovely holding-in-the-freakout way, and Sam rushes to throw it into the fireplace. Then Dean says "I mean, this is like a best worst thing that's ever happened, because you love serial killers, but you hate clowns" and I'm DEAD. (I'm also loving TWO gifts from the Continuity Fairy in once sentence.) The lights start flashing before Sam can get his lighter lit, and then the killer clown ghost shows up and tosses Dean around. Knit Cap Kid and the girls run back inside just in time to watch John Wayne Gacy's ghost go up in flames. So the kids get the "monsters are real" speech and are told to keep it secret.

Back at the bunker, Sam's going through the occult goodies and thinks he found the magic pearl. Dean's ready to use it right now, and dismisses Sam's suggestion that they call Mary or Cas. If it doesn't work, he doesn't want to have gotten their hopes up. Sam looks distressed at the idea it won't work, but agrees. The pearl doesn't come with any instructions, so Sam suggests Dean hold it and concentrate on what his heart desires. "Michael out of my head," Dean says, and I'd have been more specific. I'd have concentrated on Michael out of my head and destroyed, and me perfectly fine, but, well, what do I know?

(Also, I KNOW all you Wincest and Destiel fans are gonna have your own ideas about what - or who - appears in front of Dean when he’s granted what his heart desires. This setup is better than sex pollen. Have fun, my kinky little friends.)

Dean clutches the pearl and concentrates, and the lights flash and then go out, and in the red emergency light we see someone in the bunker. Someone fighty, who knocks both brothers down and then pulls out a shotgun and says "don't you move," but it's a familiar voice and then the lights come on and what do you know? Winchester Surprise!

So, was anybody truly surprised? I covered the guest stars on first viewing, as I always try to do, but I noticed on rewatch that they didn't even credit JDM at the beginning of the episode. Which they sometimes do, to avoid spoilers. And yet. Has there been a single episode of this series that was more spoiled? I don't think so.

(Sidebar: What do you think would have happened if Sam had taken the pearl and made a wish? I think Michael would be gone. Because I don't think there's anything Sam wants more than saving his brother.)

Back to our story. Everyone is shocked. John thinks Sam should be in Palo Alto, apparently in his 14th year of post graduate work. He thinks he's still in 2003, and he doesn't notice his boys are older. And they apparently don't notice that his hair is very short and a lot greyer than it was when we last saw him. (I mean, really, they slapped a wig on Samantha Smith to make her look like The Last Version Of Mary, so why couldn't they do the same thing with JDM? It's distracting.) Sam figures they must have accidentally summoned John from the past. So they do what one does in this situation - sit down and drink.

John's astonished. Dean's proud. Sam's visibly anxious. We don't get to see exactly how much of the backstory they tell him, but they do tell him about the apocalypse and Lucifer and living with "an angel and Lucifer's kid." And now John thinks he died "taking out Yellow Eyes," which... not really? But okay. And they don't tell him Mary's back, until he mentions her and Sam's, all, yeah, about Mom, and then she comes in and John hears her voice and tears up and dammit. This reunion is everything I didn't think I ever wanted. I mean, I've made no secret of the fact that I'm not a fan of John Winchester. He's a fascinating character and JDM does a great job with him, but he's such an awful father (don't bother arguing with me, you will not change my mind) that I can't really like him. And I'm not too impressed with resurrected Mary, either. But when these two come together... damn. It's good. It's very good. Well done, you two.

I love that the boys give them some privacy, because it's been over a decade since John saw them, but it's been even longer since he saw his dead wife, and this should really be a John and Mary reunion.

Out in the hall, Dean's gleeful and Sam's all, how the hell did this happen? Dean explains that he's wanted this since he was four years old (oh, my heart) but Sam warns that messing with time will not end well. I don't actually remember Sam being that concerned about the unintended consequences of time travel, but I'm sure there's a good reason he's bringing it up now. Dean doesn't care. Dean just wants one family dinner together (oh, my heart again, remembering his one last dinner with Mary).

Sam, sans Dean, runs into John in the library, because Mary's off making a shopping list and he decided he'd rather examine the bunker than be involved in that I guess? Okay. But then this happens.

I screwed up with you a lot, didn't I?

No, that's okay.

No, it's not. Sammy, tell me the truth.

I don't want to talk about that.

You didn't have a problem talking about it before you left.

Dad. For me, that fight, that was a lifetime ago. I don't even remember what I said. I mean, yeah, you know, you did some messed-up things. But I don't... I mean, when I think about you... and I think about you a lot... I don't think about our fights. I think about you... I think about you on the floor of that hospital, and I think about how I never got to say goodbye.

Sam. Son. I am so sorry.

I'm sorry too. But you did your best, Dad. You fought for us, and you loved us. And that's enough.

OH MY GOD. This is everything I ever wanted.

1. John admitting he was a crap parent to Sam.

2. Sam trying to sidestep that - because he's Sam Winchester and that's what he does - and John not letting him.

3. Sam finally calling him out instead of just saying nah, it's fine.

4. John calling him Sammy.

5. Sam pointing out that he didn't get a goodbye from John. (Did he ever find out that Dean got praise and an apology?)

6. John apologizing.

7. Sam forgiving him.

8. "And I think about you a lot."

9. The way Sam keeps having to stop talking and look away and make that little "hmmm" noise.

10. And the tears.

10b. The way Sam tears up even before The Talk, when he remembers them as kids trying to make Winchester Surprise.

11. The shaky voice.

12. And Sam's shirt.

13. And the way Sam's expression looks so much like his expression in Sacrifice, when he tells Dean that his confession was about how he let his brother down.

This, right here, is two minutes and 24 seconds of the best television I've ever seen. I don't care what else this episode does, this 2:24 is worth it. And yes, this is three weeks in a row that Jared Padalecki has ripped my heart out of my chest and STOMPED ON IT.

And I love it.

Meanwhile, Dean gets the shopping list from Mary. Sam finds him and tells him he's right, because Sam also just got everything he ever wanted, and then offers to go shopping with him. (Saaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmm!!!!!!!)

When they get to town, the guys split up - Sam to the grocery store, Dean to the liquor store. Dean's surprised to see the liquor store guy, the one who remembered his "usual" earlier in the day, has no idea who he is. If Dean had ever seen "It's a Wonderful Life," he might say this is just like when George Bailey goes into Martini's Bar and isn't recognized. But apparently Dean Winchester, pop culture aficionado, has never seen that movie (no, I haven't gotten over that, and I never will) so he doesn't recognize a classic uh oh, we changed the course of history moment when he experiences it.

Meanwhile, Sam steps out of the grocery store and finds that neither Max nor the postal clerk recognize him. And then he sees a wanted poster in the post office window. Dean Winchester, wanted for assault, murder, and credit card fraud. Whoops! He trots to the car, where Dean is waiting, and tells him they have a problem. "Yeah, we do," says Dean. "Check this out."

He shows Sam his phone and it's a video of SAM IN GLASSES AND A BLACK TURTLENECK AND SLICKED BACK HAIR GIVING A TED TALK. HE RUNS A LAW FIRM AND LOVES KALE. IT IS THE SECOND MOST AMAZING THING I'VE SEEN TONIGHT.

HE'S STEVE JOBS.

So, those of you who were spoiled... did you know about this? Or did they actually keep THIS AMAZING THING under wraps?

Sam Jobs tells his audience that being your best leaves no time for hobbies or a family, and Sam has seen enough. He tells Dean about the wanted poster, and Dean says yes, of course he googled himself too ("a lot of beheadings," hee!!!) and wonders if there are alternate versions of them running around. Sam thinks it's a "temporal paradox," and time is self-correcting, changing to the new one. If they don't fix things, they'll become those alternate versions of themselves. "Well, I'm cool," Dean says, "but you're, ugh." Sam's less worried about them, and more worried about what else might have changed.

(Sidebar: You know, I could quibble about why bringing John forward in time has such a significant butterfly effect, but bringing Mary back, and their other time travel, and Henry's time travel, changed nothing. I absolutely could. But I choose not to, because SAM JOBS, Y'ALL. But okay, let's think about it. 2003 John would have disappeared while Sam was at Stanford. Dean wouldn't have gone to get Sam. Or Sam would have refused to go. Maybe the hurt on both sides was still too fresh. Maybe that's why Dean's hunting alone, and Sam's an internet-famous lawyer.)

What else has changed, you might ask? How about ZACHARIAH? That's right, my favorite angel is back. And with him is ORIGINAL FLAVOR CAS WITH HIS FLUFFY HAIR AND THINGS JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER. Zachariah calls him "Constantine" and Castiel says "I don't understand that reference" and THANK YOU BABY JESUS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE THIS, BUT THANK YOU. They enter Max's mom's restaurant and ask who's been messing with time. (Because she would know?) And if they don't start talking, he'll have Cas murder all of them. "My name is Castiel," he intones solemnly. "I'm an angel of the Lord." YES YOU ARE. He reveals himself like he did to Dean (no, not like that, jeez) with the shadow wings. Outside, the Winchesters see the bright light of an angelic reveal coming through the restaurant windows, and they know something's up.

They herd everyone out of the restaurant, and are shocked to see Cas and Zachariah. Zachariah is equally surprised to see them. He says they had big plans for the Winchesters, but then their father disappeared and... and he doesn't finish, so we'll never know why yoinking John out of 2003 changed any of that vessel stuff. (Handwave!) Cas, of course, doesn't know them, and when Zachariah orders him to kill them, he complies.

Dean pulls out an angel blade but is, of course, unwilling to actually kill Cas, so he starts hitting him with other things. And Cas, for whatever reason, doesn't just put a finger on his forehead and kill him dead. (Handwave!) Zachariah chokes Sam and asks him what they did, even though he can't talk because he's choking (handwave!) and Sam acts like he's trying to speak so Zachariah gets closer to hear him, and Sam stabs him with an angel blade. Cas continues fistfighting with both of them, and slams Sam head-first into a table a couple of times, leaving him spitting blood on the floor. Which Sam uses to paint an angel-banishing sigil while Cas is choking Dean. Smart Sam for the win!

Bunker. Pretty bruised Dean has explained the temporal paradox, and John accepts that he has to go back, or else Mary will probably disappear. "Okay," he says. "I mean, me versus your mom, that's not even a choice." DAMMIT JOHN WINCHESTER DO NOT MAKE ME CARE ABOUT YOU. Elsewhere, pretty bruised Sam explains it to Mary, and tells her John won't remember anything.

John tells Dean he never meant Dean to have this kind of life. He's proud of him, but he hoped he'd be able to have a normal life, with a family. "I have a family," Dean says. They sit down and have one final family meal together, and everyone's quiet and sad until John points out that they can either think about what's going to happen, or appreciate what they have right now. They cheer up and listen to Bob Seger (well, we listen to Bob Seger) and talk and laugh and have the family dinner Dean has always wanted.

Later, while doing the dishes, Sam says how unfair it is that they all had this and then have to throw it away, and John has to go back to being Dad. He thinks it would be nice for John to go back knowing what he knows now. "I used to think that too," Dean says, and admits that he's blamed both John and Mary for their crappy lives. And if they could send him back to 2003, or even earlier, maybe none of the crap would happen. "But here's the problem. Who does that make us? Would we be better off? Maybe. But I gotta be honest, I don't know who that Dean Winchester is. And I'm good with who I am. I'm good with who you are."

Later. Mary and John are holding hands, and I guess they're doing the thing now. I'd hoped they'd at least let these two have one last roll in the hay (especially since I'm pretty sure Mobby is permanently done after this), but no. They have a very sweet goodbye and their sons are brokenhearted and I am too. John tells his boys to take care of each other and Sam says "we always do." That's a nice change from telling Dean to take care of Sam, isn't it? He tells them both (BOTH) that he's proud of them and loves them, and they have a three-way hug and Sam wipes his eyes and Dean says "love you too" and I REALLY CAN'T, BOYS, YOU HAVE TO STOP. Then John takes Mary's hand again and Sam crushes the pearl (why does Sam have to be the one to do it?) and John glows and then fades away.

We get a quick glimpse of downtown Lebanon returning to normal, and the three teens talking about how cool it is that "those guys hunt monsters," and then we're back to the bunker. Cas walks in the door and sees the remaining Winchesters, obviously distressed, and asks what happened. "Well, there's a story," says Dean.

And finally, we see the Impala WITH HER ORIGINAL KANSAS PLATE. John's asleep in the driver's seat when he gets a phone call from Dean. "No, I'm okay, I just had one hell of a dream. No, it was a good one."

GUYS. GUYS.

When I heard there was going to be a musical episode for the 200th, I was sure it would suck. When I heard about the Scooby Doo crossover, I cringed, because I knew it would be awful. WHY AM I ALWAYS SO WRONG.

Eh, who cares why. Let's just appreciate what we were given. Happy 300, my friends. Here's to 300 more.

(Please help me stay unspoiled for future episodes, thanks!)