#in fact we did... nothing for this halloween! a travesty if you ask me. but theres always next year i suppose

[juggalogojackerbox]

I didn't have much to offer this spooky season, but I did spit out this drawing of Onycraft as Frank-N-Furter last minute for the occasion, Happy Halloween. %)

[He/Him for Onycraft only, also, Image this was based on under the cut]

(Normally I'd try to get the text closer to the original but I felt like gettin' silly with it)

[migleefulmoments]

CC fandom is shrinking

The fandom is getting tiny...a natural reaction to CrissColfer no longer talking..or at least no longer speaking publicly. When your fandom literally riots over nothing more than both men are at the same Halloween party- no photos of them near each other- simply that they are in the same building at the same time (and yes, this happened twice in this year). It is impossible to keep your fandom interested when the majority of your posts are reliving the good old days, vague claims about Darren and Chris being supportive and standing by one another, and attacking MIa and everything Darren does that isn’t gay enough for you.  

I have had several conversations about the obvious fall in the number of “notes” their posts get compared to when the two actors worked together and had to be in the same room together. Even though the majority of CC posts are re-re-re-re-re-re-re-reblogs of pictures of Kurt and Blaine ajw continues to post  ASKS that claim to be new CCers. I can’t help but wonder what would draw a new fan in to the fandom at this point? Netflix is running Glee so maybe a few from that but fans from ACS   But I was just looking for a post from last year and I stumbled on this conversation;  

Anonymous asked:

Did I miss something? Did more Darren/beard pics come out on Jared?

ajw720 answered:

On Jared no.

But her behavior has been extremely obsessive and scary, even for her. I honestly don’t know how anyone can view the latest series of snaps where she is either obsessing over Darren, wearing something similar to things Darren owns, or actually wearing recognizable things he has worn in the past, and think this is healthy and normal. She’s 31. Not 15.

I can honestly say I’m scared for him. I think she’s completely out of her mind at this point. I knew was crazy. I knew she’d stop at nothing to continue to be associated with someone famous. Get invited to the right parties and premieres. Have her pic taken with celebrities. Be thought of as a celebrities plus one. Basically have all of the perks with none of the work.

But the current behavior is even above and beyond for her.

I found this convo interesting because she was writing things with this impending doom- and yet here we are one 2 years  later and Darren and Mia are happier then ever, engaged, loving their bar baby, and deep in their wedding planning.  

As I read the conversation-and note the veracity of the conversation- I thought to myself  “I don’t recognize those usernames...so let’s see if they are still active CCers”

Spoiler alert: They are both: 

I wanted to post the original post because my point was how two years ago they were writing the same posts they are today. But scroll past this for a look at once prolific CCers who have disappeared.  

kitty-kurt

And this is all coming from a woman who claims she doesn’t want to be associated with him. Her behaviour is honestly terrifying, and she needs to go. Even if they replace her with another beard, she needs leave because this isn’t even about Darren’s image anymore - his wellbeing has been at stake for a while and with this recent behaviour from Mia it’s only going to get worse and i@m scared about what she might do.

socloseyetsofarcc

Please NO! No more beards.

Having a beard and the never-ending charade and deception that Darren is straight, got him nowhere and gained him NOTHING. Except unimaginable pain and horror.

It’s time for Darren to end that bearding travesty…  dump that farce beard… and fly free.

kitty-kurt

Trust me, I don’t want another beard or any beards but I’d much rather have another beard around than have her around him. The bearding is a huge problem but the worst part about it is that he’s got that woman as a beard. It’s not the fact Darren’s pretending to be straight that people look down on him - it’s the fact he’s acting like a no homo frat boy to go hand in hand with her attitude. If he had a woman who had any kind of decorum then we’d just be rolling our eyes at it but I don’t think he’d look like he was dying every second the beard is around if it was anyone else.

I really want him to ditch that woman and enjoy his freedom before he comes out so much. But more than anything, I want her out of his life. He’ll obviously be a lot happier without her and without the straight image but even if they just get rid of her, he’ll be miles happier.

People have left because of the bearding, but even the ones who believe he’s straight have left due to Nia. Nia is the main problem when it comes to people leaving Darren’s fanbase and Darren’s unhappiness as she’s alienating him from his fans due to her attitude and generally treating him like garbage.. If people who believe she’s really his GF believe she’s enough reason to ditch Darren then it shows you what the main problem is.

ajw720

I cannot tell you how many fans I have meet that could care less whether Darren is gay, straight, or a purple dinosaur. But absolutely cannot stand her. Have no respect for her. And don’t understand the “relationship.”

She must go. Tomorrow is too late. Yesterday if possible.

Not to mention. She’s dangerous at this point to his emotional and physical well being. I meant it when I said I was concerned.

But I still say not more beard. Just let him Be single if they must keep up the straight charade. That would be normal after ending a long term relationship. People who believe the narrative wouldn’t even question it.

Though I personally think for his career and sanity. The truth is the best course. Tired of the lies.

I went on a hunt and THIS TIME I looked for usernames that used to be super active in the fandom. Some were still there... but 

MrsCriss2012:

Mea90

AccidentalAccoustics

Stopandimaginelove

SoCloseYetSoFarCC:

JustinArtist

Some of these were prolific CCers.  Mostly I was just curious...this doesn’t prove all that much. But as someone who has watched this fandom shrink, it was verifiable proof of what I have watched happen.  

[sportylikeatuna-blog]

Tasked: Ask Meme for BDRP

Sentence Starter Style

“Sadly I’m 15″ “Ah! Phoneee” “oh my god you’re a fucking princess!” “I don’t blame you, but I really think you’re blowing the paperwork out of proportion.” “Would you be open to an alternate route of learning?” “I’ll have to call you back” “You’re no use to anyone sleep deprived” “We have reasonable grounds to enter without a warrant” “Would you be willing to answer a few questions?” “Uhm….s-..sorry.”  “Is that...okay?” “I think there would be cause for concern if you had been” “I think your check book will be thankful that neither of them make onesies. Even if it is a real travesty.” “It’s never too early!” “You ‘ave this natural tone that can come off as…cross.” “You - You gave up on us.” “You look lost” “Well, I can’t exactly say hello to something I can neither see nor hear” “A ghost, of course how silly of me” “We can reschedule this murder for tomorrow maybe” “When you cast a spell your magic lingers” “If you are afraid to hurt her, should that not tell you enough?” “Good. See you on the other side then.” “If you ever send me a text that vague again, I don’t care if it says ‘Help, oh help, I’m dying’, I’m leaving you on read and dyeing your eyebrows pink while you sleep.” “It’s not fucking there!” “We call on the ghost that haunts Phoebus de Martin” “How do you know that?” “You seem young, like, the same age as my TA I dated when I was in uni.” “Your sister is a bad bitch” “When are you leaving anyway?” “Oi, we ready?” “Nah, it wasn’t that bad” “How old is this place anyway?” “I’ve cried like every day for the past three months” “Feel like I have to at least make one a lion” “Joke’s on you, because I don’t know how to play that one” “I’m really bad at cleaning.” “I feel so disconnected.” “That’s not funny.” “I apologize on behalf of the table in the corner.” “I’ve been holding down the fort.” “I can give you – well, anything but my sight, really.” “Unless my sense of smell is going as well” “The traditional ‘Eat a Dick, Shuriki’ Day treat” “I let her dress me as a tree!” “I’m still tragically sober.” “Almost busted your head there...you alright?” “Still doubting me love?” “I’ll be your best bartender in a matter of moments.” “Oh hi, yeah no harm no foul.” “I can only cite temporary insanity.” “Could use a break” “What’d I miss while I was gone?” “I have had quite enough of listening to those men” “You must be mistaken.” “What’re ya doin’ gettin’ dressed and all. Maybe I wasn’ done with you.” “Look…I really didn’ mean t’…” “I’m not the sort to run my mouth.” “Sure it’s real, and I’m rich.” “The hair does match.” “I am more of a home body” “I actually do have a safe room in my basement” “I only 60 percent fake-laughed at this one.” “Wasn’t it halloween yesterday?” “You look like you sleep less than I do.” “Voila. How to survive as a landlocked mer 101!” “Shit’s fucked right now, to say the absolute least.” “I’m sick of secrets.” “Me? Pfft, I’m fine. Pfft. Me? Totally. Why wouldn’t I be fine? I’m definitely fine.” “So sorta yes, sorta no.” “Went for the reeses, came home with a sedimentary rock and a piece of concrete.” “Nothing like two shots of tequila and a few beers to make you feel 100% better about the zombie apocalypse!” “This town keeps you well on your toes.” “oh trust me, none of you want me working here.” “You know you have such a unique aura” “They may not appreciate our boldness” “Is it news that isn’t going to be in the paper?” “Shit, I didn’t grab plates.” “I’m not a fan of that.” “What toppings did you get?” “What ever are you looking for, by the way?” “You remember the um, last unfortunate event?” “Maybe we’ll run into a french bulldog here and I can point them out.” “I want a bag of the gingersnaps, aye?” “Here I thought you were just coming onto me at the gym” “Sometimes cookies can be...more than just cookies” “So which is it: did you want to sell him drugs or did you want to flirt with him?” “It didn’t hurt at all! Just a sting!” “How… sturdy, by chance, do you think they are?” “Which one are you?! What are your favorite colors?! Movies, food, drinks, hobbies, books, BLOOD TYPES?!” “Food rained from the sky?” “You keep telling yourself that, yeah?” “I’m gay, we’re all cynics” “I don’t know what I’ll do with all the space” “Then go…? Back to class…?” “I know I’m pretty amazing. It would be awfully sad to be me-less.” “Are you a protagonist? You look like one.” “Irrelevant.” “I know how to keep ghosts out of the bedroom, thanks” “Just because YOU can't go to rhinebeck doesn't mean rhinebeck cant come to you” “But lovely witches were ten a penny.” “It’s...it’s all for me” “On that note, how do you feel about pumpkin spice cookies?” “They tend to be narrow-minded in their rose-colored perception of our world.” “It’s all kind of shitty, ain’t it?” “I think an army of walking snowmen would be easier to deal with than an army of zombies.” “Don’t tell me about it. I like plausible deniability.” “That is, I never had a reason to cuddle. Until now.” “It’s not- it’s not just guilt” “Fucking hell mate, talk about an entrance.” “Do you think you could talk me up?” “Ye didnae have tae do that” “Maybe not any book” “I’ll take a fun fact instead if you’re so inclined” “Do people still read comics now that there are movies?” “I don’t have to th’ay anything” “Wanna take some deep breaths?” “I think meeting your parents once was enough. I’ve no interest in continuing the charade.” “So, how do you think I should proceed?” “Well I hope I don’t disappoint you then” “I’ve never really figured out how to do it though.” “What’s your favorite superhero movie?” “___ found out didn’t they?” “Well you don’t have to insult your way to the washroom, just so you know” “I have ways of dealing with my mistakes” “Stretch your legs out, stay a while, I get a long day.” "I just straight up have no idea what I wanna study” “I thought the same darn thing!” “So we’re agreein’ to disagree.” “We’ve got that ‘people pleasers’ look, yeah?” “Does it hurt too much?” “Honestly? I don’t know why people put that much effort into decorating so early.” “it’s working great. Thank you.” “Fuck–sorry, sorry. Not focusing.” “The worst people never look scary” “No bruise no foul?” “Sounds like bullshit t’ me” “Better…better to b-be early th-then late“ “But life’s shitty enough as it is.” “Do you do those things for you?” “Hopefully you’re free. If not - then cancel your plans.” “And we can’t let all these special snowflakes dictate what we do, hm?” “I love a rich, full-bodied taste.” “And would you be willing to teach me?” “Yup, just fine. Thank you. Nothing to see here.”  “He’s not around, so it doesn’t matter.” “So is there a theme to this whole shindig?”  “So I guess I’m not basic.” “I see how it is.” “Curious is a word for it, yeah.” “So you’ll speak lies? Or avoid the truth? Sounds like a cop out to me.” [text] Well I’m glad my text went to someone with such good taste! “The aftermath has been...awkward.”

[centerofstupidity]

Dracula the Undead: Author’s Note Part 1 Snark

If you enjoy the content you are reading, please like and follow the Center of Stupidity blog.

Interested in reading the previous Dracula the Undead chapter snarks? They can be found here.

Summary: An aperitif of the clusterfuckery that is to come. This is a long-winded and self-congratulating author's note.

Both writers claim that their novel stays true to Bram Stoker's vision even though it contradicts and re-writes the original story.

In case anyone wants to read the original author's note in order to form their own conclusions, you can read it here.  

~ Dacre's Story ~

Since I am a Stoker, it is not surprising that I have had a lifelong interest in the work of my ancestor.

At the risk of sounding like a complete ass...

This "interest" is financially motivated. 

Bram’s youngest brother, George, believed to be the sibling with whom he had the closest relationship, was my great-grandfather, so I am Bram’s great-grandnephew.

"Which means that I am related to Bram Stoker and can write an 'official' sequel to Dracula. And that will make me a shit-load of money."

In college, I wrote a paper on my great granduncle,

I'm getting the impression that is statement is supposed to make Dacre Stoker sound unique...

Even though there are plenty of other college students who have written an essay about Bram Stoker or Dracula for an assignment.

For instance, yours truly did a PowerPoint presentation on Bram Stoker and Mary Shelley for a class in college. 

examining what may have motivated him to write Dracula.

Again, this isn't groundbreaking stuff. 

Many people have published articles or books discussing Dracula. 

Scholars like Professor Elizabeth Miller have dedicated their lives to studying it. 

My research opened my eyes to how, from my family’s perspective, the history of the book Dracula, is pretty tragic.

"And before I give everyone a history lesson, I'm telling you all this so I can justify butchering my ancestor's work."

Bram Stoker died without ever seeing Dracula become popular. The sales of the novel were so limited at the time of his death that his widow, Florence, thought she would never benefit financially from Bram’s “wasted” seven years of research and writing. With Bram’s other fiction and nonfiction books out of print, Florence was convinced she would live out her days on a tight budget.

Actually, that isn't true. 

According to scholar John Edgar Browning, the majority of critics gave positive reviews. 

His findings were published on February 1st, 2012. 

It is important to note Dracula: The Undead was published in 2009.

But in an interview in 2013, Dacre Stoker said this: There is this statement that used to kind of drive me crazy—‘Dracula was met with mixed reviews when Bram was alive’. 

He then briefly discusses Browning’s research.

Which means that Stoker knew about Browning’s findings...

But he ignored it and printed misinformation. 

Dacre adds that it was only "ten years after Bram’s death" when Dracula became popular.

Posthumously, Bram started to receive recognition as the progenitor of the modern vampire/horror novel.

Not to diminish Dracula and its impact on popular culture...

But it is not the first influential vampire novel. 

Varney the Vampire is. 

Dacre Stoker goes on to talk about Florence Stoker (Bram Stoker's wife) and her legal dispute with the creators of Nosferatu.

He also states that Dracula became public domain in the U.S.A since 1899 because Bram didn't complete a requirement so Florence Stoker had to live off the U.K. royalties.

With the U.S. copyright lost, Hollywood, corporate America, and anyone else was free to do whatever they wanted to Bram’s story and characters.

This is the part where the reader is supposed to boo and hiss at Hollywood...

And then give Holt and Stoker a standing ovation for writing Dracula the Undead. 

Dacre Stoker talks about how his family wasn't asked for approval of "any of the hundreds of incarnations of Dracula over the next century."

My father’s generation had a negative feeling for all things Hollywood and Dracula.

Which is understandable given what happened. 

But after reading the author's note...

The history of Dracula is being used in order to deflect any criticism.

And to justify bastardizing Dracula under the pretense of honoring Bram's original vision and righting a past wrong. 

—except, of course, for Bram’s original novel.

So we have two options:

They knowingly endorsed a novel that defamed Bram and mocked the original novel. 

Or they loved Dracula and would be appalled that Bram was dragged through the mud and the original lore was ridiculed. 

According to Ian Holt in an interview in 2010, he says that “Bram’s bitter demeanor was even worse in real life than we depicted in the novel.”

And in the same interview, Holt passively aggressively says: “Do your research. The fact that the chapters with Bram were written almost completely by Dacre in consultation with his family means nothing to them.” 

So yeah...

I’m leaning towards option number one. 

I didn’t write about these issues in my college paper, but they were always on my mind.

Dacre Stoker admitted that he didn't read Dracula until he went to college.

Stoker says it was "a shame" that his family was unable to "control the legacy of my great-granduncle" and  "lay claim to the character of Dracula."

It was many years after college that I met an interesting character, Ian Holt.

Stoker doesn't realize that calling someone "an interesting character" can be a veiled insult.

Ian is a screenwriter who has been obsessed with all things Dracula since childhood.

A lot of people love all things Dracula.

Doesn't mean that they are a talented writer.

Ian, being a true idealist, had a plan that inspired me to not accept the frustrating history of Dracula.

"He was my knight in shining armor!"

He wanted to change history.

History reveals that change isn't always positive. 

Sometimes it is negative. 

Ian’s plan was simple: to reestablish creative control over Bram’s novel and characters by writing a sequel that bore the Stoker name.

To my surprise, none in my family had ever considered this.

Translation: "Why haven't any of my family members tried writing a novel? It's the obvious solution to the problem." 

And it didn't occur to Stoker none of his family members had any interest in being a writer. 

It really pisses me off when people act like writing any kind of fiction is easy or that anyone can be a writer. 

While any literate person can write, not everyone can be a writer. 

It requires talent and passion along with the desire to learn about the craft and improve your writing skills.  

Intrigued, I decided to join Ian on a roller-coaster ride as coauthor.

And for readers, it is a nightmarish ride where clusterfuckery gallops and a literary classic is violently raped.

In writing Dracula the Un-Dead, I felt a strong sense of duty and familial responsibility.

"It isn't because I wanted to piss all over my relative's legacy and make a shit load of money."

I hoped to work with Ian to represent Bram’s vision for the character of Dracula.

Bram's vision should be called Sir Not Appearing in This Novel.

We aimed to resurrect Bram’s original themes and characters, just as Bram conceived them more than a century ago.

The Dracula characters appear in name only.

They are cast in an unfavorable light. 

As for the themes?

They are discarded. 

So many books and films had strayed from Bram’s vision—

It is extremely rare for adaptations to stick extremely close to the original story. 

Usually, adaptations take artistic license with the source material. 

And just because an adaptation or a retelling differs from the original story, doesn't mean that it will automatically suck. 

For instance, I like films, mangas, and video games that are inspired by/loosely based on Dracula. 

and thus our intent was to give both Bram and Dracula back their dignity in some small way.

Dracula is depicted as a misunderstood man with fangs who is every woman's erotic dream. 

And readers are supposed to despise Bram. 

I think Bram would be proud that a family member has taken this initiative, and finally done justice to the legacy he created.

Bram would be livid that his work was bastardized and that his descendant depicted him as a desperate and a talentless hack.

~ Ian’s Story ~

I am not ashamed to say it, I LOVE horror films.

Ah, all-caps.

How I loathe thee.

A lot of people like horror and it is a popular genre. 

So that doesn't make you unique.

And horror movies are no longer considered depraved or scandalous.

Holt mentions that his favorite horror movie as a kid was Dracula (1931).

When I was ten years old, my mother bought me a record for Halloween with Christopher Lee narrating the story of Dracula by Bram Stoker. Reading that record sleeve changed my life, for it was then I learned that Transylvania was an actual place and that Dracula was a historical figure.

Where do I begin? 

If you are LISTENING to an audiobook, you are not READING IT.

Ian was "inspired" by the audiobook that he decided to read Dracula.

I was surprised at how different the novel was from the films—and I had seen every Dracula film ever made.

"Who knew that Count Dracula swings both ways? Or that Mina is an assertive and intelligent woman and not a stupid Dracula fangirl?"

The novel was more intelligent, astute, and dark.

While this literary abomination is a cash-grab filled with gratuitous gore and sex.

The novel had more intricate and exciting characters than I could have ever imagined.

While Dracula the Undead has depraved lesbian vampires and a whiny prat along with a handsome and misunderstood vampire who only wants tru luv.

I felt cheated by Hollywood. I vowed revenge!

I get it, Holt and Stoker. 

I'm supposed to hate Hollywood but adore your literary travesty. 

Fifteen years later, my opportunity came.

And Dracula fans wished that it never arrived.

Flipping channels one night, I came upon a program on the making of Francis Ford Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that this story will result in name dropping. And Holt insisting that he is a scholar.

On the program, Coppola held up the 1972 book In Search of Dracula written by Fulbright Scholars Professor Raymond McNally and Professor Radu Florescu (Prince Dracula’s actual descendant).

Vlad the Impaler is also known as Vlad III, Vlad Dracul or Vlad Dracula. 

Sometimes he is referred to as Vlad III of Wallachia or Vlad III, Prince of Wallachia. 

But I have never heard of any scholar referring to Vlad III as "Prince Dracula."

A quick Google search reveals only this book and a YA novel called Hunting Prince Dracula. 

Every time I see Vlad III being mentioned as "Prince Dracula", I can't keep a straight face. 

Because it reminds me of Beni Gabor calling Imhotep his "prince." 

Coppola had used the professors’ research of the historical Prince Dracula’s life as inspiration for the opening sequence of his film.

And he discarded the rest of it in order to make Dracula a guy who is looking for his one tru luv.

Before taking a breath I was on a plane to Boston College to meet the professors. After showing them some notes on the screenplay I planned to write based on their book,

"I smelled an opportunity to make some money!"

the professors sold me the rights for one dollar

"They were impressed my awesomeness!"

The friendship I forged with McNally and Florescu has borne fruit in many ways. I soon began traveling with the professors giving lectures on the impact of Bram Stoker’s novel on our culture.

According to Dracula the Undead on the official Penguin Publishing House website, Ian is being described as:

There is a BIG difference between being a fan, a historian, and a documentarian. 

A quick Google search reveals that Ian Holt has not published anything in an academic journal.

However, one of the first things that pop up in an internet search is this. 

This garnered me an invitation to speak at The First World Dracula Congress in Bucharest, Romania, in 1995—a gathering of Dracula/horror scholars from around the world.

I don't doubt that Holt went to The First World Dracula Congress.

But I don't think he was a speaker.

Elizabeth Miller wrote a report about the gathering. 

And Ian Holt isn't mentioned among the speakers. 

Holt went sightseeing in Romania and how he made "the dream I had as a ten-year-old come true."

Thanks to the friends I made at the First World Dracula Congress, I was asked to join the Transylvanian Society of Dracula—a scholarly organization dedicated to the study of all things Dracula.

We get it, Ian Holt. 

You want us to think that you are a scholar because you are friends with scholars and historians. 

But I don't think a scholar would be constantly name-dropping.

Through friends in the society I met Professor Elizabeth Miller, the world’s foremost authority on all things vampire, Dracula, and Bram.

"And I'll use my scholar friends as a shield to deal with criticism."

Professor Miller asked me to speak at the Dracula convention in Los Angeles in 1997, where we celebrated the 100th anniversary of the release of Bram’s novel.

According to a report on the 1997 Dracula convention in Los Angeles, Holt isn't mentioned as being one of the speakers.

Holt says during the convention he came up with an idea to write a sequel to Dracula. He admits that a Dracula sequel isn't a new idea.

But a Dracula sequel was never written with "input from a member of the Stoker family."

Holt goes on to say that "securing that input became my goal" and contacted the Stoker family patriarch.

Still scarred by the Nosferatu copyright affair and years of being ignored and abused by Hollywood, the members of this generation of the Stoker family wanted nothing to do with me.

I could be wrong...

But I'm getting a strong feeling that Holt was miffed that some members of the Stokers didn't want to touch him with a ten-foot pole. 

Especially since Holt said the Stoker family at "long last" supported the idea for an official sequel.

But I wouldn’t give up.

Holt says how he "kept building up my film-writing résumé and Dracula connections." He eventually meets Dacre Stoker.

I pitched him my sequel idea, which at the time I had been planning as a screenplay. Dacre was enthusiastic and suggested that the proper way to proceed was with a book first.

If it is a novel, then it will be proper lit-ra-choor.

Because a movie wouldn't be "deep" or "elevated". 

Both Dacre and Ian agreed to a writing partnership.

And Dacre contacted his family members and presented them with the sequel proposal.

Once it was understood that this would be a labor of love,

"We gleefully shit all over the original lore and insist that it was all a lie."

our intentions honorable, and that our plan was to restore to the world Bram’s original vision and characters,

If that was the case, then:

The original lore of Dracula wouldn't be repeatedly violated.

The Crew of Light wouldn't be depicted in an unflattering light.

And Bram Stoker wouldn't be vilified. 

the Stokers offered support, at long last.

Translation: They finally appreciated my genius!

Dracula the Un-Dead is the culmination of my lifelong dream and years of hard work.

"And why is the Devil laughing and doing a victory dance?"

It is my gift to every horror nut out there.

If by "gift", you mean a literary turd, then I agree with you.

My greatest wish is we have created a book that is close to Bram’s original gothic vision

"Close to Bram's original gothic vision"? 

Hell no! 

It contradicts the original story and reads like a shitty Coppola's Dracula fanfic. 

—while modernizing it at the same time.

By stealing a twist from The Empire Strikes Back and copying a scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Believe me, I realize how lucky I am.

And readers will regard this novel as a plague upon mankind.

I have been truly blessed that in some small way, my name will be linked with

a mean-spirited and shitty novel.

that of my hero, Bram Stoker—

I'm not convinced that Dacre or Ian regard Bram as their hero.

Here is an excerpt from the novel:

"If there were to be any truth to Stoker's novel it would have to be where no sunlight could ever reach."

Translation: you can stick it where the sun don't shine.

the man who invented modern horror.

I'll say it again...

Stoker wasn't the only one who invented modern horror.

Some of the other writers were Edgar Allen Poe, Ann Radcliffe, Sheridan Le Fanu, Algernon Blackwood, and H.P. Lovecraft.

[jennycalendar]

s2e6: halloween

synopsis: jenny and giles very nearly attend a party, and have a purposefully vague conversation about secrets.

INT. LIBRARY – DAY

Jenny and Giles are arguing. Again.

JENNY

I just think it’d be really fun!

GILES

Words, Ms. Calendar, that you also used to describe that travesty of a football game.

JENNY

And you had fun.

GILES

Your idea of fun is quite different from mine.

JENNY

Your idea of fun involves reorganizing the library just so you can put it back in the proper order again.

GILES

Beside the point.

JENNY

Rupert, you have to branch out at some point! Try some new things that don’t involve a book or a cup of tea.

GILES

You are wholly underestimating my overall capabilities to “have fun.”

Behind them, Buffy quietly enters the library — takes in the fact that Giles and Jenny are arguing — sneaks towards the office.

JENNY

I could hear the air quotes when you said “have fun.” You seriously need to come to this party with me.

GILES

(whining)

I don’t like parties, Jenny.

JENNY

And I don’t like musty libraries, but I make sacrifices because I like hanging out with you.

Jenny gives Giles an angelic smile, fluttering her eyelashes for extra effect. It mostly just makes her look mocking.

JENNY

Don’t you like hanging out with me?

GILES

(blushing)

That is also beside the point.

JENNY

You’re skirting the question.

GILES

You just love hearing me say that I like you, don’t you?

JENNY

(grinning)

Oh, I absolutely relish it.

Giles rolls his eyes. Jenny beams; she’s won and she knows it.

GILES

(exasperated)

Fine! Fine, I’ll — I’ll come to the bloody Halloween party, I’ll meet your out-of-town friends, just—kindly do not make me wear a costume.

JENNY

(surprised)

Really? I kinda thought I’d have to put up with some Watcherly resistance.

GILES

I’m sorry?

JENNY

(in a horrible British accent)

“Oh, I’m Rupert Giles and I’m British and I like books and I can’t take a single day off or the entire world would crumble to bits in my absence!”

GILES

You’re not really making a strong case as to why I should come with you, Jenny.

JENNY

(singsong)

Because you liiiiike me.

GILES

Regrettably so.

JENNY

But yeah. You’re wearing a costume.

Buffy pokes her head out, makes a “really?” face at not being noticed, and carries out a whole box of books, unnoticed by Jenny and a now very disturbed Giles.

INT. JENNY’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Giles, minus his tweed jacket, is wearing the usual button-down and sweater vest, now with a nametag stuck to the vest that reads Hello, My Name is Envy. He takes it off, looks at it, replaces it, takes it off again. Jenny calls from her bedroom—

JENNY (O.C.)

Don’t fuss with the nametag. It’ll lose its stick and I’ll have to make you another one.

GILES

I wasn’t fussing—

JENNY (O.C.)

Sure.

GILES

Are you done yet?

JENNY (O.C.)

I’m trying to find something green in my closet.

GILES

Jenny, we’re “green with envy,” it doesn’t work if you’re not green—

JENNY (O.C)

I said you should be green, but no, you wanted the nametag so you could take it off and put it on and take it off — aha!

There’s some rustling, then Jenny steps out of the bedroom in an olive green sweater and dark skirt.

GILES

That isn’t green.

JENNY

I don’t have to be all green, Rupert, the joke still works.

GILES

Not really. You’re going to throw that leather jacket over the whole thing and then we’ll be “greenish-black with envy.”

JENNY

Like I said, this would work better if you were green.

GILES

This would work better if you weren’t making me wear a costume!

JENNY

You’re literally just wearing a nametag.

(then)

Rupert, where’s your nametag?

Giles blinks — realizes his nametag’s in his hand — winces a little at Jenny’s smug look.

GILES

I wasn’t fussing.

JENNY

Sure.

Jenny steps up, taking the nametag from Giles’s hand, and sticks it carefully back onto his vest. She’s focused on the nametag, so she doesn’t notice Giles smile a little at her as she does so.

JENNY

Try not to completely kill this costume before we even get out of the house, okay?

GILES

I’ll do my best.

Jenny flattens the nametag, but leaves her hand there.

JENNY

Thanks for coming with me, Rupert. I — haven’t actually seen my friends since moving here.

GILES

(surprised)

Really? You talk of them as though you’re still in touch—

JENNY

It was a really abrupt move and I didn’t actually tell any of them why, so, uh, this invite kinda took me by surprise.

GILES

And I know you well enough to know that you don’t do well with questions.

Jenny looks up, smiles a little shyly.

JENNY

I’m really grateful for that.

The genuine appreciation in her statement takes Giles off guard. He looks like he wants to reach for her hand—

Willow comes running through the wall, disheveled. Giles and Jenny both scream, grabbing each other impulsively.

WILLOW

Hi, guys.

Giles and Jenny exchange an embarrassed look and hastily let go of each other.

INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT

Jenny and Giles are both sorting furiously through books, Willow peering over their shoulders.

WILLOW

Do either of you know what we might be dealing with?

JENNY

I know I am definitely not going to make it to that Halloween party, but other than that—

GILES

Parties come and go, Jenny. Hellmouths are forever.

JENNY

God, I hope not.

Giles and Jenny smile a little tiredly at each other.

WILLOW

I’m sorry, you guys. You two really do deserve a day off from — whatever this is.

JENNY

What is this?

GILES

Well, what we know for certain is that at sundown, everyone became what they were masquerading as—

JENNY

And we know that the cutoff was sundown because Rupert and I aren’t green with envy.

WILLOW

…what?

GILES

See, I told you the costume doesn’t work with you in that jacket.

(to Willow)

She’s green, I’m envy.

WILLOW

(giggles) Oh! That’s cute, guys.

JENNY

I’m all about that wordplay—

GILES

Can we return to the costumes?

WILLOW

Sorry. Okay. Xander was a soldier and Buffy was an 18th century girl.

Giles and Jenny look at Willow’s costume, then exchange a look.

JENNY

And what about you?

WILLOW

I’m a ghost.

GILES

Yes, but a ghost of what exactly?

WILLOW

This is nothing. You should have seen what Cordelia was wearing. A unitard. And these little cat things. Ears and stuff.

JENNY

Wow, so Cordelia’s a cat now?

WILLOW

(realizing)

No. She was still the same old Cordelia, just in a cat costume.

GILES

So she didn’t change.

WILLOW

No. Hold on... Party Town. She told us she got her outfit from Party Town-

GILES

And everybody who changed, where did they acquire their costumes?

WILLOW

We all got ours at this new place. Ethan's.

INT. ETHAN'S BACK ROOM - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT

Giles, Jenny, and Willow all enter, step inside.

GILES

Hello? Is anyone in?

They move through the room and into-

INT. ETHAN'S BACK ROOM - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT

Where Willow sees Ethan’s altar with the golden statue.

WILLOW

Guys.

Giles and Jenny turn. See the statue.

JENNY

Janus? Figures.

WILLOW

What does it mean?

GILES

Primarily, it represents the division of self. Male and female. Light and dark-

ETHAN (O.C.)

Chunky and creamy. No, sorry. That's peanut butter.

Ethan steps from a shadow, smiling at Giles. As Giles makes him out, his shock is obvious. He steps in front of Jenny and Willow, never taking his eyes off Ethan.

GILES

Both of you, get out of here. Now.

WILLOW

But –

GILES

NOW.

Willow knows this tone from Giles can only mean business. She bolts.

Jenny, however, pushes around Giles to get a good look at Ethan.

JENNY

(sharply)

Rupert—

GILES

Jenny, trust me.

Jenny hesitates, then nods, following Willow out. Ethan and Giles face off.

GILES

Hello, Ethan.

ETHAN

Hello, Ripper.

INT. ETHAN’S COSTUME SHOP — DAY

Giles and Jenny enter. Giles’s face is unreadable, and Jenny doesn’t look happy with this; she’s clearly trying to gauge what he’s thinking.

GILES

I did say that I didn’t want you coming with me, this time.

JENNY

(light)

We didn’t make it to the party, Rupert. At least grant me this.

GILES

Jenny—

JENNY

I’m not going to ask you who he was.

Giles turns, surprised.

JENNY

You’ve been good enough to trust me when I say there are things I can’t tell you, and I want to give you that same trust when I can.

(then)

But Rupert — secrets can hurt people. Make sure this one doesn’t.

Giles doesn’t answer her. Turning away, he crosses the empty shop to find a card on the counter. Picks it up.

There are only three words on the card: "Be seeing you."

Giles stares at it, stares ahead. His thoughts unreadable.