#in fact!! i'm very proud of myself for going way out of my comfort zone and putting my art Out There

[strawbebbiesart]

downstream 🫧🪸

[secretarysong]

BEEP BEEP!!!! Mayday delivery!! 🧨🧨🔥🔥

not exactly sure what date but somewhere within This Week! marks my first 1 year of being an actual NSR fan (and my subsequent upwards spiral since then) so to celebrate i am throwing a BIG PARTY in FESTIVAL PLAZA and ALL OF YOU ARE INVITED!!!!🤑🤑🤑🤑 Just kidding. there is no party. BUT! below the Keep Reading i will share some of my earliest (and somewhat crude) drawings of mayday (and a bit of zuke). it feels like it's been ages since then...

transitional phase....... these range from like november 2023 to march 2024 i believe? in no particular order

fun fact about me; i used to be a Strictly total drama fanartist and i preferred to draw pretty on-model to the very heavily stylized characters in the show. it was kind of difficult going from... that (Hardly ever venturing out of my comfort zone) to the oh-so-scary and intimidating world of No Straight Roads. in order to make art i'd be happy with, i'd have to inevitably get used to THREE-DIMENSIONAL SPAACE and... *gulp...* Dy.. Dy... DYNAMIC ANGLES!!!!!!!

love is one hell of a motivator however. and i love this schtewpid game and i love its world and characters and most of all i love MAYDAY!!! and here i am Today! obviously i still have a long looonngg way to go and much to learn but i've still come pretty far. and i'm pretty proud of myself! 🐊🐊🐊

[yourpenpaldee]

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ WRITEBLR INTRODUCTION.

I don't usually put myself out there as it makes me nervous. But I've been a lurker for way too long, and it's about time I step out of my comfort zone. So, hello! I'm Dee (she/her), twenty-two, and have found my voice with storytelling.

Writing has always been a passion of mine, and continues to be the tool I turn to when I need an outlet to freely express myself. I have, unfortunately, hit a rough patch with consistency, and I'm here to bring all of that motivation and inspiration back. Especially since there are one too many WIPs sitting on the backburner, and they're all calling my name.

As someone who loves to dip their toes into every genre of fiction, I will read anything that peaks my interest. However, when it comes to creating, my works usually fall under romance and mystery. With practice, I intend on branching out into other genres I don't write often. There's a lot to explore in the world of writing, and I don't want to limit myself to only two categories.

Creating this blog provides me the space I need to accomplish the many goals I often dream of achieving. I acknowledge that it all starts with the ability to hold myself accountable. To show up for myself. To become comfortable with the uncomfortable. Putting myself and my projects out into the world is only the first of many steps, and it feels quite liberating.

I aim to use the voice I've found to not only contribute to the progression of POC representation, but to touch on several topics that remain heavily stigmatized in today's media. There’s a joy that runs through my veins every time I see someone like me on my screen or in a book. I feel seen, heard, and proud. I feel important. But as a creator, there’s that itch that can only be scratched when I create. When I make something that lets the next person know that they’re not invisible. That they're valued, loved, and appreciated. That's what I hope for when someone reads a project of mine. For them to feel the same rush of joy flowing through them as it does me.

Wow, I’m a yapper. I'd like to close this intro off with some fun facts, so here are some of my top five favorites with sidenotes because I still want to yap a bit more about the things I adore.

SOLO ARTISTS:

ARI LENNOX ✧ ˚ · . CHOCOLATE POMEGRANATE — GET CLOSE — GOAT — POF — UP LATE

HALSEY ✧ ˚ · . 100 LETTERS — I HATE EVERYBODY — NIGHTMARE — ROMAN HOLIDAY — THE LIGHTHOUSE

HOPE TALA ✧ ˚ · . CHERRIES — EDEN — I CAN'T EVEN CRY — LEAVE IT ON THE DANCEFLOOR — SUNBURN

MELANIE MARTINEZ ✧ ˚ · . ALPHABET BOY — DEAD TO ME — EVIL — NOTEBOOK — STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE

HALIMA ✧ ˚ · . DOWNTOWN — FORD CARDINAL — IF LOVE WAS GREEN — SAMANTHA — TALK

BANDS:

5 SECONDS OF SUMMER ✧ ˚ · . AIRPLANES — BETTER MAN — KILL MY TIME — LONG WAY HOME — TEARS!

FALL OUT BOY ✧ ˚ · . BANG THE DOLDRUMS — CHICAGO IS SO TWO YEARS AGO — HEADFIRST SLIDE INTO COOPERSTOWN ON A BAD BET — NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER — WHERE DID THE PARTY GO

FLO ✧ ˚ · . CARDBOARD BOX — FLY GIRL — IMMATURE — SUITE LIFE (FAMILIAR) — WALK LIKE THIS

PARAMORE ✧ ˚ · . BIG MAN, LITTLE DIGNITY — CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE — FRANKLIN — MISGUIDED GHOST — PART II

THE INTERNET ✧ ˚ · . DONTCHA — HOLD ON — LOOK WHAT U STARTED — SOMTHING'S MISSING — SPECIAL AFFAIR

GAMES:

CORAL ISLAND ✧ ˚ · . IF I START LISTING NAMES, I'M GOING TO MENTION EVERYONE. BUT I'M A LOYAL MARK GIRL. AND NOAH... AND MILLIE, EVA, BEN, Y—

DISNEY DREAMLIGHT VALLEY ✧ ˚ · . THIS IS SUCH A COMFORT GAME THAT SOOTHES MY INNER CHILD.

DON'T STARVE [TOGETHER] ✧ ˚ · . I MAY OR MAY NOT STILL SUCK AT THIS GAME AFTER A SOLID THREE YEARS, BUT I'M A WIGFRID MAIN.

STARDEW VALLEY ✧ ˚ · . I LOVE SEBASTIAN AND LEAH, AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL IF I HAVE TO.

THE SIMS 4 ✧ ˚ · . WHERE I SPEND A LOT MORE TIME IN CREATE-A-SIM AND BUILD MODE COMPARED TO PLAYING THE ACTUAL GAME.

TROPES:

FAKE RELATIONSHIP ✧ ˚ · . MHM... JUST SAY YOU LIKE EACH OTHER ALREADY.

FATED MATE ✧ ˚ · . I'M A BIT PICKY ABOUT THIS TROPE THOUGH. THINGS TEND TO MOVE VERY QUICKLY BUT I ENJOY IT NONETHELESS.

FRIENDS TO LOVERS ✧ ˚ · . A CLASSIC THAT DOESN'T NEED AN EXPLANATION.

REUNION ✧ ˚ · . ESPECIALLY IF THEY WERE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AND THEY REMINISCE OLD MEMORIES, OH MY GOODNESS. I EAT THIS TROPE UP EVERY TIME.

SLOWBURN ✧ ˚ · . NO DOUBT THIS IS MY MOST FAVORITE TROPE. THE BUILDUP TO EVEN THE TINIEST PIVOTAL MOMENT ALWAYS MAKES MY HEART THUMP.

TV SHOWS:

CRIMINAL MINDS ✧ ˚ · . YES, I’LL WATCH ALL 16 SEASONS FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME AND FALL IN LOVE WITH PRENTISS EACH TIME. WE WERE ALSO ROBBED OF BEARDED HOTCH CONTENT.

BRIDGERTON ✧ ˚ · . DO I CRY EVERY TIME I WATCH GEORGE AND CHARLOTTE'S STORY? YES. WILL I CONTINUE TO REWATCH IT AND RECITE THE LINES EVERY TIME SOMETHING REMINDS ME OF IT? ASOLUTELY.

THE BEAR ✧ ˚ · . I WISH I KNEW OF AYO EDEBIRI BEFORE THIS SHOW BECAUSE THAT WOMAN IS AMAZING??? LIKE, HELLO???

THE EQUALIZER ✧ ˚ · . *mini spoiler* STILL CAN'T STOP THINKING OF DANTE'S GRIN WHEN HE GOT TO SEE MEL, ROB, AND HARRY'S LITTLE WORK SPOT FOUR SEASONS LATER.

SWEET MAGNOLIAS ✧ ˚ · . HELEN, MADDIE, AND DANA SUE IS HOW I PICTURE MY FRIENDS AND I IN THE FUTURE. MARGARITA NIGHTS, BEING AUNTIES TO EACH OTHER'S CHILDREN, UGH. I LOVE THEM WHOLEHEARTEDLY.

And that concludes this introduction on me and this blog. I would love to connect and befriend other authors, so please don't hesitate to reach out as my DMs will always be open! I'd love to support and read your works, so don't be hesitant to share them with me if you'd like.

I hope you all will enjoy reading my works as much as I enjoy the process of bringing my ideas to life.

divider creds to strangergraphics ♡

[primewritessmut]

Hello! I hope you dont mind me asking. Why did you delete stop talking, keep talking? Do you think it will ever come back? It was one of my comfort fics so I was just curious

There are about a million answers to this question: I didn't want that work to define me. I hated getting notifications that someone had commented on it even when the comments were positive. It was not at all the introduction to that fandom that I'd hoped it would be for (again) a whole lot of reasons. None of which I want to delve into that deeply.

And, because you asked, you've given me an opportunity to jump on my soapbox (which is something that I've been wanting to do and you just wandered into the blast zone by virtue of being the one that sent this ask).

I'm sure there are folks out there, maybe even you (!), thinking, "But Prime, why didn't you just orphan your work?" And the answer is in the question.

Because it's MY work.

It's my intellectual property despite being a vehicle for pre-existing characters and I honestly think it's fucking awful that there's an expectation within fandom that I somehow waived my rights to that just because it's already posted and people have bookmarked it and loved it.

That is a work I was very proud of for a lot of reasons but it's also a work that is mired in my worst experiences within fandom and I ended up fucking hating it. To the point where I regretted writing it and didn't want it to exist at all.

So I deleted it.

Again because it's MY work.

I'm glad it brought people solace or comfort or entertainment or whatever while it was available but it absolutely killed me. And the fact that there's a faction of fandom out there that think it's content that I somehow OWE them despite not only the hours that I worked to write it but also the absolute shitshow it made of my mental health and enjoyment of fandom makes me glad I deleted it.

I'm not a content machine. I'm a writer. And I should not only be allowed to do whatever I want with my work but also supported in doing that. If people give a shit about writers and give a shit about art and give a shit about an artist's actual intellectual property, then part of that is accepting that sometimes that art is going to be used in ways you don't like.

I don't write for other people, I write for myself. I share it with others because it's rewarding and when it's no longer rewarding...

(I know you messaged me later apologizing for asking this question because you thought it was kind of rude (it is) but I also manifested a question like this specifically so I could get everything off my chest so thanks for that.)

[lyricfulloflight]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (if you’d like). Spread the self-love ♥️

Thank you @ongreenergrasses! I really dug deep for these answers... I think this may be the first time I have linked anything from my earlier fanfic writing days on Tumblr in about 10 years!

My Top 5:

I Believe You - My first fic ever. On ye olde Fanfiction . net. I should probably move it over to AO3... Anyway, it gets a mention because its the first fanfic I ever shared and that's a big step for any fanfic author. Also, I think its a cool concept and not badly done for my first try at writing fic.

Then Came You - A super cute, (but also a deep look into grief...) Cherik fic. I wrote this for the 2020 Xmen Remix Madness event, based on a wonderful fic by one of my all time favourite Cherik authors - @pinkoptics. I loved playing in the universe she created and the fact that she enjoyed my fic so much is what makes this a top 5 fic (seriously, if I ever get down about my writing I go read her comment about this fic and feel better).

Hollow - another Cherik fic. Written for the 2019 Secret Mutant Exchange. I'm proud of this fic because it took me out of my comfort zone. It is by far the darkest version of Charles I have ever written. And, not to toot my horn or anything, has some of the best lines I've ever written.

To Build A Home - An Immortal Husbands fic (AKA Joe x Nicky from The Old Guard). This was written for A Big Bang event and the art by @notablogtobefollowedunless is fucking sublime! I didn't write much in the Old Guard fandom, but I am proud of what I did contribute and I think this fic is a great representation of my writing in that fandom.

The Consequence of Hiding - The first (and so far only) time I finished a long fic. So proud of myself for this fic. It turned out exactly the way I wanted it to - I had the ending in mind the whole time and even though I knew it might not be what people were expecting, it was well received and turned out how I wanted it to. Not sure I could really ask for much more than that when writing.

Answering this ask was great, but also made me sad to realize I haven't posted anything since 2022. I am currently writing. I always have ideas popping into my head. But the last year in particular has been very tough health wise. I hope to finally post something new next year. Thank to 911 and Buddie, I have been full of fic ideas, which has been so fun :)

[cardigains]

Thank you for the tag @ameerawrites!!! I'm sorry it took me so long to get my life together and answer it.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

20! Though I do have another ao3 hidden away out there which would bump me up to a whopping 35.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

442,367

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently it's exclusively tlou though I do have a handful of shorter Stranger Things fics on my ao3 as well.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

of wounded minds

all i needed was someone (when the whole wide world was young)

your words mean nothing so take 'em back (i don't wanna be carrying this weight on my shoulders) 

i hope that we make you proud ('cause this town's just an ocean now)

Leather Jacket

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to!! I am really behind in all things fic right now in life, but I'm working on making my way through and responding (even if the comments are literally months old. Sorry everyone)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Anyone feel free to call me out if this is a bold-faced lie, but I think almost every single fic I have ever written has a happy ending. I am obsessed with happy endings. Bring on the angst for 90% of the story, but it doesn't end in some degree of comfort I am OUT.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Literally any of them but personally I think it's my follow up fic to Next Door Neighbor AU used to wish i was anything to anywhere (to anyone)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! A fact which I am very grateful for.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Personally I can't ever combine fandoms. Characters of one world belong in that world. They can't just be commingling all willy-nilly like that!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, a very long time ago.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I...I don't think I can answer that question

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There's some extra chapters to go along with my Wounded Minds epilogue fics that I've started, but I don't know if I'll ever finish them to be honest.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think when I'm in the zone for writing the answer is definitely dialogue. Who knows if it's any good, but it comes the most naturally.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I know SOME Spanish, but I know the Duolingo version of it so like, I don't trust myself to do much beyond a few phrases. Thankfully I have a few friends who speak some Spanish too so I would probably ask for help :)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I would like to preface this by saying I was 12 but...High School Musical

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

That's an impossible question. I have love and pride in varying degrees and for varying reasons for so many fics that I have written throughout the years. Even the ones that weren't good I know helped me improve over time! So, just gonna give this question a big ol' PASS.

In return I tag anyone who wants to do it. Just tag me in it because I would love to see your answers!

[dandelyle]

end of year reflection

i used to have a lot of self esteem issues but I really don't anymore. i don't always feel like I'm good looking, and generally try to limit the amount of mirrors I have access to for this reason, but I'm very self assured in my ability to exist which gives an enduring sense of self confidence. I can figure out pretty much anything. I'm very proud of my ability to adapt to new situations. traveling solo has really widened my comfort zone and increased my ability to be independent. a lot of that is due to financial privilege allowing me the freedom to explore my newfound independence as an adult. a lot of it is also the fact that I transitioned and pass now. life is easier when dysphoria isn't holding you down and water boarding you every second of the day. but really the biggest influence on my self confidence has been traveling.

my first trip as an adult was a three day drive to the Grand Canyon. i didn't go alone, I went with one other person my age. it was both of our first trip. it was a two day drive, and we stayed for a long weekend. i started to realize I was capable of basically anything I wanted to do. after that, I went alone to the beach which was a days drive away. that time I did go totally alone. i did that two or three times. i also drove alone all the way to New York city. that was a three day long journey. i met a friend along the way and took him with me. he didn't drive and he'd never even left his city before so I was basically in charge. it was exhilarating. after that I was ready for the big leap to leave the country for the first time. I stayed in Buenos Aires for three weeks and though I had a lot of help from local friends, I was still by myself in a foreign country speaking another language. that was when I really realized I could do whatever I wanted. i came home from that trip a changed man. or maybe a man in general. that was my coming of age moment I guess. maybe it happened a bit later than some people, given that I was 25, but being trans kind of stunts your growth in my opinion. we have to go through puberty twice. i was a late bloomer even the first time around.

but now I feel calm and confident in my ability. I'm ready for whatever life throws my way. moving to a new country into the unknown is my next challenge. 2025 brings with it change beyond my wildest dreams. but I know it'll be good for me and I know I can handle it.

depression is not a true desire for death. it's a desperate need for change. I struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts and actions all throughout my teen years. I never saw myself older than 18 years old. now here I am, 27 and bearded, going abroad to live my life. drastic change. nothing about myself or my life resembles how I grew up. i look at where I have journeyed to and think, no wonder I was depressed before. look how much I needed to change before I could feel even a morsel of happiness. and if I feel somewhat happy now, I can only imagine how much better I'll feel at the end of next year.

I'm on the cusp of the biggest change in my life. i know it's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it. I'm laying the foundation. I've been laying this foundation for years now.

in 2020, the pandemic hit, and I was left with a lot of time for thinking as we all were. i pursued an education in the Spanish language. I knew it would open doors for me, but I never imagined where it would take me. now here I am, bag packed, one-way ticket to Chile booked, and not looking back.

it's been years since I started my transition, but I'm still getting used to the feeling of having a future worth living for. in a way, I'm grateful for that feeling. I've overcome a lot of tragedies to be here today and I won't take that for granted. I'm grateful for each day, even though I know that's corny. my past self suffered so that I wouldn't have to. he was so young, he shouldn't have had to suffer so much. as the adult now, I feel like I should be taking care of him. but time doesn't work that way. so now all I can do is make sure he didn't suffer in vain.

here's to change. here's to 2025

[cookinguptales]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙

You know... I put off answering this for a while because I just could not choose five. And I still can't?? I have so many fics I've written, many of them for fandoms of one, and I find that I actually love a lot of them.

So... if you'll forgive me, I think I'll just talk about a whole bunch of fics that I love for a whole bunch of reasons.

(cut because... I really do talk about a lot of fics lmao)

I think these days a lot of people follow me for WWDITS/nandermo fic. It's one of my current loves, and I've really enjoyed writing for this fandom. I do wonder if I'll keep writing after nandermo becomes canon (or gets sunk for good) but in the meantime... I guess I'll just keep having a good time?

I think my favorite fic I've ever written for WWDITS is Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow, Too. I was looking at a bunch of prompts for the Trick-or-Treat Exchange (more on that later) and I ended up smushing several of them together in my head. But then the story really got away from me, I guess, as I really started to delve deep into Nandor's mind (a WILD place to be, I'm telling you) and it ended up not being posted for another month. Whoops?

Either way, though, I feel like I was really able to get at some of the ideas I'd been juggling with the characters for a long time at that point, and I think the prose itself was very nice at times. I did complicated things with that fic that I haven't done before, and in the end... I think I did a good job! It's probably the fic I'm proudest of in this fandom.

That said, I'd like to give Honorable Mentions to both When We Sway (I Go Weak) and Five Times Guillermo Helped Nandor Collect Semen (And One Time He Didn't) just because both of those fics involved me getting wildly out of my comfort zone. I think both of them seem a bit... outdated, maybe, after s4 and s5, but I think they match the tone of s3 nicely.

Sway was heavy on pining, something I feel like I'm good at writing, but also very heavy on physical action. As many of you know, I'm disabled! I have never waltzed. The kind of movement I described in that fic is not easy for me to do myself, and action scenes have always been difficult for me to write fluidly. So the fact that I was able to write both dancing and fighting convincingly in that fic made me really relieved. I got several comments from dancers telling me how well I'd captured dancing with a partner and like. PHEW. I did a ton of research and bro I was RELIEVED. So I do feel very proud of that.

Even more outside of my wheelhouse was both 5+1 things fics. I'd written a little bit of porn before this, even some for nandermo, but not much and I was largely dissatisfied with it. But boy did I get a lot of practice with those fics. lmao. It was essentially 11 sex scenes of various levels of filth loosely strung together with longing, and like... honestly, I'm very pleased at how most of them turned out! And I think I'm a lot better at writing porn now, even if it always turns out very fucking weird and introspective.

Speaking of weird.

The other fandom I love dearly these days is Sleep No More, which I've been writing for for several years. For a long time, I mostly just wrote this one for exchanges? Mostly ToT and Yuletide. I love writing for SNM, an interactive theater situation in NYC, because I can really fuck around with writing styles. I can play with ideas about religion and folklore and magic and blood and storytelling and tradition, and I can do it while writing some of the most fucked-up relationships that exist. I can play with a show that has very little spoken word, where a slap and a kiss might be in the same loosely choreographed dance, where I get to be a part of this haunted house, but only as a ghost...

While I'm sure the very few people who usually read my SNM fic might disagree, I think my favorite thing I've ever written for SNM is It's A Sin to Tell A Lie. It was my first time really trying to assemble a semi-coherent narrative from the show (largely inspired by some things that I realize now were not always common experiences in the show lmao) so I'm not sure it always aligns with how I see the characters now, but I feel like I wrote a really haunting fic that used the source material in interesting ways.

The Honorable Mention this time goes to The Consequence of Sounds, which is probably the strangest thing I've ever written. A friend of mine joked that she'd like it even if someone wrote like a haunted space hotel AU for the show and that apparently scratched something insane in my brain, so... I wrote a fic that combined space opera, Macbeth, Scottish folk magic, and the music of the spheres.

It's....... very weird. But it was also so fun to write, and I think it was fairly successful. I think the point of fanfiction is weaving together a familiar canon in a brand-new way, and I had fun bringing odd little allusions and old ideas into a new AU. I had to get really creative and that was so fun.

Speaking of weird AUs... I wrote a lot of them when I used to write karabita. haha. This is another one of those fandoms that I picked up a lot of followers with, though idk if any still follow me. Osomatsu-san was a weird comedy show that threw itself into surrealism and AUs very often, and that allowed me to do the same. I think... out of the many, many karabita fics I wrote, my favorite might be Love's Carriers, which is a flower shop AU I wrote out of spite after someone told me that all flower shop AUs are terrible. I worked really, really hard to make the AU suit the characters rather than the other way around while also incorporating flower language, one of my favorite stupid tropes. Again, I think this one came out surprisingly well, especially considering I wrote it in like... 24 hours in a fit of pique. lmao.

Other fics I remember being very proud of in that era... uh... The odd karabita KH AU that no one read because there is basically zero crossover between those fandoms... The soulmark AU because I am WEAK to those... The wingfic... ah... the wingfic... I don't know if I'd use words like "best" or "favorite" for that wingfic, but... I do think it's probably the most I've ever put of myself into a fic. The anxieties re: love and disability that I put into that fic were so real that I still cry every time I look at certain parts of it. I've grown as a person since writing it, but... yeah, those are still fears that haunt me. So I guess I could say it feels the most "me" of any of them I ever wrote.

Other than that... I guess we end up in my exchange fic era. I spent many years writing fic of extremely variable quality for exchanges lmao. I think the most successful was undoubtedly there's not a word yet (for old friends who just met), the muppets slash fic that launched... god, honestly. like. I know I did not create a fandom, but being in at the ground floor and being the one that everyone came to talk to when the pairing DID get off the ground was surreal. lmao. I created that tag on AO3! Everyone said I was crazy for writing that fic! Then they read it and they fell in love a little bit! Then the pairing became canon and everything went bananas! What a weird, surreal, delightful fandom experience.

That Muppets fic really came from the heart and really just came from me writing a fic during a very difficult time in my life and wanting to create a love letter to the characters that got me through it. I wanted to make other people feel the way The Muppets made me feel, and the fact that I succeeded in that (against all odds!) really does make that one special to me.

But... I wrote a ton of exchange fics for tiny, tiny fandoms that most people have never considered! Weird spooky crossover f/f ships, like my Crazy Rich Asians/Ready Or Not Astrid/Grace fic, or my Stoker/Sharp Objects India/Amma fic! Rarepairs like my Kimi no Na wa (Your Name) f/f Mitsuha/Miki fic! An unhinged lost episode of Puppet History! Character studies of dear little elderly murderers in Arsenic and Old Lace!

I also wrote sort of quasi-original fic, especially for the ToT exchange. Ghosts of dinosaurs falling in love with each other in a museum (inspired by a real historical case of the wrong skull being on a skeleton -- and god, that one has a hilarious IRL story attached to it) and a pet shop full of the ghosts of animals longing for companionship and grim reapers grappling with life and death and forbidden love. Mann I loved writing those.

And honestly??? I could write entire posts about any of the fics I'm talking about here. I love them, especially the ones that weren't really loved by anyone else. Hell, I'm turning that pet shop into an extended f/f origific right now.

Writing fic for tiny fandoms of one or two for an exchange feels so bittersweet because you can make that person really happy (and, not to toot my own horn, but I tend to make recipients really happy in exchanges) but it just kind of... fades away. Those stories sometimes have very short lifespans just because they're really just for one person. It's not a good or bad thing, just the nature of exchanges. I love designing a fic that's tailored to one person's likes, dislikes, and deepest desires. It's so fun for me. But it is kind of sad to see those fics fall by the wayside after. So I have to love them enough to make up for it. haha.

Finally... a fic I adored writing, that absolutely consumed me, and it's for a fandom that is basically nonexistent. I loved going to Meow Wolf's House of Eternal Return and experiencing the work of hundreds of artists all coming together to make something great. I wanted to add my art, too. No one is out here looking for HoER fic, especially not for the pairing I wrote, but like. BOY, if there's any fic I've ever written that's the definition of "I wrote this for me", it's Gnosis.

Anyway, yeah, I've been posting fic on AO3 for *checks* almost 15 years now, so I guess it makes sense that I can't narrow this down to just five, lmao. But I'm also trying not to go on too much.

But seriously, seriously, if anyone wants me to talk more about these fics or any other that I've written, I would be so incredibly happy to give you a play-by-play of what I was thinking, what I was trying to do, what I liked, what I disliked, what I'd change now, what changed me, etc. I think any author would be haha.

But I'll cut this short now!! As for who to tag... honestly, since I read so much fiction for a living these days, I don't really read fanfic anymore. I'm not sure who I follow writes it anymore. I have most fic tags filtered, being real with you. So... how about this. If you are a writer and you want me to tag you, just lmk!!! And I will send you the message.

[doorsclosingslowly]

1, 7, 19, 25!

Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic. Hm idk I try not to repeat myself too much because I have so so many WIPs to work on. Probably the blorbo du jour with a strong narrative voice and selective perception is suffering due to something that's probably their fault, but someone manages to empathise with him and that doesn't solve the problems it still means something that they don't see blorbo as scum. Either that or a discord shitpost discussion about sex that got way out of hand and now "glove fingering uti" has sprouted feelings

Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. (not going too far back bc I'll only be depressed I havent written much this year

Lexicographers were all liars. They put words into the dictionary for things that did not exist, such as “joy” and “calm” and “sleep”. Most emotions were invented, presumably for some malign plot specifically targeting Gríma and obviously connected to stealing his job. What else could they steal from Gríma, after all? He had nothing, not even dignity. Not since Saruman had taken over the department. He’d been so friendly to Gríma before Théoden’s illness and retirement. He’d commiserated about Gríma needing to take over some of the Department Head duties on top of his actual job, just because Théoden was less and less capable.

I just think I really nailed the vibe of a guy who's annoying and self-centred but also genuinely honestly miserable. (this is the catfishing AU, which kinda takes place after Saruman successfully and with Gríma's help conquered Rohan/the art department of a university and then that didn't improve Gríma's ennui at all somehow, in fact life is even worse)

Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse? I have an insatiable need to tell myself stories when I don't have anything to do & huge trouble falling asleep. I would make up shit about anything but if I do it about blorbos, I also get to talk about them

What do you look for in a beta? I've never *looked for* a beta specifically bc I'm very scared of bothering people, but I've shouted into the void in case anyone was interested in betaing my work and I've been super happy about working with Alyssa, Ro, Rumpel and Daro on various stories. My biggest needs are probably for someone to judge whether it all makes sense, bc to me a lot of mental jumps make sense that may confuse someone not trapped in my brain, leaving my third person present and nonstandard english phrasings intact, bc that's on purpose I'm not trying to win a grammar prize I'm trying to turn thought processes into text, and also just generally being a person I know and trust. Trust to put in the effort to understand and to be interested in where I want to take an idea and not where they would like to take it. And also especially I have to trust that I'm not forcing said beta to read something they hate, that they would tell me they want to stop and not force themselves to keep going, bc I've worked on myself enough to be ok with publishing a flop fic now but I'm very scared of making someone do something they hate

Thank you!!!!

[here2bbtstrash]

Hey, sweetie! Hope u had a good time this last few months!

Been wanting to ask how are your feelings about “look down on me like that” lately, I just think is such a beautiful work and it pains me to think That other people mean comments could be the reason for you having bad feelings about your art! (Not asking for updates, just a question as one of the LDOMLT fans 💚)

hello my love! i appreciate you asking this and particularly wording it so kindly. it's definitely a loaded question 😅 but ultimately, LDOMLT will always be a story that is very important to me and means a lot in terms of my growth as both a human and a writer! i know there were things i got wrong, and i'm sure there's more i could go back in and change or improve, but if i'm honest - i had no idea what i was doing, lmao. and when i was outlining and plotting the thing i didn't think anyone else would ever read it, i figured it would just sit out there in AO3 obscurity. in some ways, that made it a weirdly safe space for me to just mess around and try stuff, in a way i never had before.

when i think about it, i'm very proud of myself for working as hard as i did to plot and outline and write what's there. producing "long" content is very intimidating for me and is so far outside my comfort zone, but this series was entirely a passion project, me just trying something for funsies, and honestly to see if i could do it. and it brought me so many of you!! i will always always be grateful for that.

i understand now that my writing (and also like, myself as a person, lmao) is not for everyone. it's never my intention to harm other people with what i write, and if that happens, i want to do everything in my power to address my mistakes and learn from them. but ultimately, like you said, it is art, and i feel very strongly about the fact that people should be allowed to try things and fuck up as a part of the creative process. in many ways that is the creative process, and it's been very important to me to continuing nurturing my artistry and taking care of myself offline, because i don't want what happened to have me living in fear of ever making anything again. i think a balance can be struck between being open to accountability and call-ins while still being unafraid to create and try things, and ideally, that's where i want to find myself. but, you know. none of that is easy!

this was a bit of a ramble lmao but i hope you enjoyed a little insight into where my head has been at this year! and i really appreciate such a thoughtful question 🤍 thank you so much for being here with me!

[tyfinn]

5 4 3 2 1

Thank you @chelle-68 and @mammameesh for thinking of me

Rules: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular).

4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year.

3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year.

2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 

1 favorite line you’ve written this year!

TOP 5 Works I am most proud of:

Rings Around Your Heart This was the idea I had that led me to write. I could not get this story out of my head, despite the fact I knew so many did not want David to have kids. I posted a couple of fics before I put this one out to get my feet wet. Rings definitely gave me the confidence to continue to write. And then it spiraled into an entire universe that I could not be more proud of.

Embracing Maddy My Maddy girl. This story was so very personal to me because it follows Maddy realizing she is ace. I came out the fall before and I wanted to create a character I wanted to be growing up. She is smart, confident, and so fucking strong.

Interflix Killed the Video Star This was one of my first fics and the first to make me laugh as I wrote it. I could hear all their voices so clear, it was like I was watching it happen.

A December to Remember I wanted to end the year by challenging myself to post a ficlet every day in December. It turned out better than I imagined, and it was a great way to end my first year of writing.

Open Wide I'm proud of this one because I wrote it while I was recovering from surgery. I wrote it one afternoon and it kept my mind off the pain I was feeling. Someone asked why there were not more fics with Patrick as a dentist, and so, here ya go.

4 Current WIPs I'm excited about:

My first angst fic, but D&P will have their HEA

David/Patrick/Stevie fic that has been living in my head for a while

An ending to the Unbroken series

???

3 Biggest improvements in my writing:

I think I've been doing better with choosing different word choices

I've been working on the whole show not tell aspect

Writing the 100 word drabbles have shown me you don't need to be too wordy to pack an emotional punch

2 Resolutions to improve my writing:

Continue to challenge myself to write outside my comfort zone

Accept that if something is not working to let it go

1 Favorite line I've written

This one is tough! But, if I have to choose one, I like this one from Man About Town: David looked down at the card and then quickly glanced up at Patrick.

They both locked eyes for a moment, neither saying a word, yet saying everything. 

Goodness! This one took some time to think about!

Tagging @apothecarose @goodiecornbread @obsessedwithdavrick @mallpretzles

[allisonreader]

With the Inklings Challenge slowly starting to ramp up, I once again find myself musing about it as I start my own preparations for it. (Both for myself and what I intend to do for my sprints blog.)

I really do look forward to this each and every year since the first year that it's been held. Like I've already been counting down since last month and have been so grateful for the start of the figuring things out now that's been happening.

I've participated each year so far (and fully intend to do so again this year), and have enjoyed it each time. So far I have been on Team Tolkien (for the first two years) and Team Chesterton (last year), though I have written for each team (Team Lewis had a portal story from me for Christmas the first year, though I don't think that the story in general was overly Christmas in theme).

I was extremely grateful to have ended up on Team Tolkien the first year, just because time travel (beloved) is probably my favourite of all the genres. (I still think it's funny to this day that I thought that I would never write time travel, as much as I loved reading and watching time travel stories.) Which is how Tales Of A Frozen Sailor came about as an actual story instead of just a concept discussed between a friend and myself. (I always feel like I harp on and on about Tales Of A Frozen Sailor. But I'm really proud of it and the fact that I essentially finished it in a year, even if I'm slowly working on rewriting it now. For me, 30,000 words is a lot, especially for some of it which really hit well in the end. Anyways I'm still incredibly pleased with how it turned out and hope that others enjoy it as much as I do.) I was extremely happy that for the first time writing that I was in a comfort zone so to speak, though I did still challenge myself with Tales Of A Frozen Sailor.

For that first Christmas challenge, I wrote Of Rainbow Portals. Which I still like the concept of but not thrill with my end execution, but maybe I shouldn't speak about that because I haven't read it in a while. I think the idea is interesting but poorly explored and after rereading it again, definitely not my favourite piece of writing. But it's also not something that I'd like to go back to and flesh out more or try to get more in line with my original vision.

After that it was Team Tolkien again. I have to admit that I had been a little disappointed that I didn't end up on a different team, as I felt more ready to challenge myself a bit more and had a couple of story ideas that I wanted to try and explore. But I made the best of it and it in part lead to my decision to chose secondary world instead of time travel. The story being essentially what would be near the end of The Hidden Royals. With this story I had a hit with the little dragon Lalawa (honestly took a lot of inspiration from Toothless in How to Train a Dragon for her). I just knew that I wanted her to be intelligent and be able to recognize a family of the proper royal family. Again really quite pleased with the way this one turned out (and the fact that it didn't end up being another 30,000 word story). Also, Lalawa came kind of out of nowhere due to a very particular dragon post that had been going around at the time. There had been no thoughts about adding dragons to any part of this story before then, and then she ended up being one of the best parts.

For Christmas I dove back into Tales Of A Frozen Sailor, with a part that I hadn't managed to include previously, but I had always intended as part of the story initially. Don't have much more to say about that one.

Then last year I ended up on Team Chesterton. I was definitely grateful to get to try a different team. I tried to write three stories and didn't finish two of them. I'll probably try and go back to them at some point, but probably won't be for a long time currently as Tales Of A Frozen Sailor, The Hidden Royals (in thought, if not pen to paper), and different fanfic ideas are more of a priority to me currently. But the one story I did get finished for intrusive fantasy ended up better than I could have expected. Especially as I had never actually intended to write it and was written in one session. Minimal editing too. I was so nervous about it but it was exactly what I wanted to be like in tone. A story told almost like a tumblr post that you would come across in the wild. That it could almost be real and it's just a story that a friend is passing on.

For Christmas I followed in my path from the year before and went back into the story from the year before. James' Christmas locked up in the prison/dungeon cell. And how those a around him had dealt with it.

So it will be interesting to see what stories are created this year. I tend to read most of them every year. I'm sure this year won't be any different.

[nestasgalpal]

Dinner dates ch.2 [Gwynriel]

Nesta's Gal Pal Masterlist | Dinner Dates masterlist | AO3

Let me know if you want to be tagged!!

The restaurant Gwyn had picked was barely two blocks away from her apartment. She was familiar with the menu and found comfort in the fact that the music would be good while they ate.

Two minutes before the time they had agreed on meeting, Gwyn entered the place and a waitress asked if she had a reservation.

"I'm meeting with someone, the table is at his name."

She gave her Azriel's name. The waitress checked. "He is waiting for you."

Gwyn was impressed he had arrived even before her. The restaurant was nicely decorated, with warm indirect light, soft music and fresh flowers in every table. Azriel saw them approaching and got up. The waitress walked slower so he could circle the table and take the back of Gwyn's chair to help her sit.

"Thank you." She smiled at him, feeling her cheeks go red. His only answer was a gesture with his head and a confident half-smile, as the waitress started talking again, next to them.

"Here you go." The woman gave each of them a menu.

Although she took it, Gwyn already knew what she would order. She opened it to give Azriel some time and take the chance to check him out as he eyed his options. He was handsome, and Gwyn heard the little voice inside her give a high-pitched scream of proudness at her good eye, despite how drunk she had been the first time they met.

Tonight Azriel was wearing a well-fitted suit of a very deep shade of blue. It goes well with my hair, she thought. Gwyn fantasized about him sitting on his own black leather couch with two friends picking the best outfit the same way she had done. Don't wear that shirt, the cuff links will make it harder for her to take it off, they would say in her daydreaming.

"I will have the lamb." Azriel looked up from the menu and folded it closed. He didn't show it in his features, but Gwyn saw the smile in his hazel eyes, as if he had caught her staring. "Do you need more time?" He teased.

"I will have the yellow fin tuna." Gwyn closed hers and handled it to the waitress without taking her eyes from his.

It's not a competition, she considered saying. But it kind of was. Who arrived sooner. Who could decide faster what they wanted. Who would have the coolest anecdotes to share tonight. And she was into it.

"What will you be drinking?" As she took note of their orders, the waitress was discretely eyeing her date as well.

Oh, no. Gwyn realized she no longer had the list of options in her hands. Not that she knew anything about wines, but still... Azriel read the names in silence. She waited.

"Red or white?" He sounded so casual, so comfortable despite all her attempts to take him out of his comfort zone and into her territory...

"White for me. And water for you, right? It's not safe to drink and drive on your way back home..."

They had been talking about his motorcycle among other stuff this week. She knew he had driven here, just as he did know she lived two blocks away. Gwyn had every intention of taking him home tonight, but couldn't keep quiet, a little anxious by letting him have the upper hand.

His half restrained grin didn't go away, but his hazel eyes drifted up from the menu to meet hers, unbothered. "Are you flirting or asserting dominance?"

Still, he leaned in closer so she could read the options as well. Gwyn laughed softly, feeling her cheeks blushing. "Sorry."

Their heads were pretty close together, although not too much as to make it uncomfortable for the still standing waitress next to them. Or so Gwyn hopped.

Azriel didn't seem concerned about it. "May I pick the wine myself and impress you with my good taste, please?"

"I won't know the difference if you get us the worst one, anyway." she confessed.

"Even better."

After the first sip, Gwyn knew she had been wrong. Whatever he had ordered for them to drink, it was obviously good. She complimented it, and he returned an appreciative comment on the restaurant she had picked. She asked about his day, he asked about has last reading, and if she was interested in politics. She told him about how much she enjoyed hiking, accidentally initiating a long conversation about how curious it was that his favorite time of the year to go visit the mountains was, in fact, the winter, so he could ski. A family tradition, apparently.

"And I like the music here."

People left the restaurant as the time passed until they were the last couple in the room. It was late, but they couldn't stop talking. Well, she wouldn't -didn't want to, and he followed the conversation with ease. She lost track of time.

"Of course you do." she finished her glass of wine.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Gwyn leaned back against the chair and played with the corner of her napkin. "A mysterious journalist who drinks whiskey and listens to jazz music." She remembered the bottle he had in his apartment. He had offered a glass the night they met, and after she rejected it, he poured one for himself before following her into his bedroom. "Pretty cliché, if you ask me."

He raised an eyebrow. "Mysterious?" Azriel lifted his left arm to look at the time in his expensive watch. She rolled her eyes. Of course he used a watch instead of checking his phone. "I've talked about myself for three hours, Gwyn."

Perhaps it was the wine making her bolder, or maybe Gwyn had always been like that, but she put her elbows on the table to lean closer to him and gave him a teasingly innocent smile, "Then why do I feel like I have so much left to know?"

His only answer was to rise his arm. The right one this time, asking for the waitress, as he held her burning stare. He didn't even blink. "Can you bring us another bottle, please?" He asked when the woman arrived to the table.

"I'm afraid we are about to close, sir."

"Bring it anyway." Gwyn said. "We can drink it in my place."

Azriel was the one with the mischievous smile this time. "Alright. Then the bottle and the bill, please. I guess the lady and I have places to be."

[flo-shifting]

I think surrender is the final push.

Long story short, I'm highly skeptic of every "fact" about shifting that I hear in the shifting community. Not because it's from shiftok or amino or whatever, but because I realize that most of the beliefs this community has on shifting are just that personal beliefs, opinions.

Like when we expect to shift in just a couple of tries. LIKE WHAT? Who told us this? Why did we believe them?? And don't get me wrong I'm so glad for those that shifted on their first try or even after a few months (also kinda jealous, but I'm working on this lack mentality) how in the hell that became the standard that we measure ourselves with?!

We're thinking that two, three years to learn ON OUR OWN a skill like this is a long time? Guys, let's put shifting into perspective. If you want to learn how to astral project or lucid dream, more experience people will WARN YOU NOT TO EXPECT IT IMMEDIATELY. They tell you straight up: this could easily take you a decade, sit down and get comfortable.

Why do we pressure ourselves so much? I know that we shouldn't overcomplicate shifting, but also let's take all the time we can to actually learning about this. The amount of things I am discovering about not only myself, but about the universe. How energy is transmuted, how we co-create our reality and the amount of actual power our conscience has. IT'S INSANE, and all came through shifting.

Also, patience is so so so important. I know that sometimes accepting that something that you want is not gonna happened right now and there's nothing that you can do to change it feels like giving up or accepting also that you can't shift at all, or it feels like you're out of control. But this desperation is counterproductive, energetically you're blocking your own progress. The more you hold on to what you want, the more you're repelling it simultaneously. The universe it's fuck up like that.

I don't really care anymore how much time it takes me to shift, personally I think it is because I'm not doing methods anymore. I've never been very fond of them, to be honest. I've tried a bunch of them, got symptoms with some, got weird dreams with others. More than anything, they made me anxious, specially after they didn't work. So I stopped doing that, and now I just meditate for a while, set intention and just vibe with the idea of shifting before going to sleep. lol that's literally a method.

What I really don't like about how we approach methods is how they "end" when you shift or, more importantly, when you don't. I've been listening to some podcast on Spotify of Neville Goddard, and it really stuck to me the way this man view the universe and manifesting. I definitely think Neville Goddard teaches you how to shift, but not with methods like we normally do, but with continuous perseverance in the idea of already achieving the goal and focusing on your feelings.

He has this hole thing of being God and creation being finish, and the power of the mind over all but the great importance of our feelings.

Feelings make you shift. I'm so sure of this. They align you with your desired physically. I think it is because when we feel something, so strongly we feel it in our body, like how painful heartbreak feels or how big your chest can get when you feel proud. Feelings are fuel.

So my strategy became just affirming during the day, taking a moment to truly feel like I had already shifted. To explore the feeling and let myself get carried away with it. But quickly transform in me kinda forcing myself to stay in that same "zone", which maybe that's the idea. But I felt stuck, so I'm changing the approach.

Surrender.

I know that I sound like I'm crazy, but I've been getting this messages or "downloads" about letting go, about surrender completely to this process and just accepting that I'm being carry. Y'know. Divine Timing and all that.

Also, if you never read "A la deriva" you should. It's a short story of Horacio Quiroga, a big writer in my country that I read when I was in highscool, but it just got to me how it relates to how I'm feeling right now. So as it seem I'm talking about this now, the story is about a man that lives in the Amazonas, and one day like any other he leaves his house but a snake bites him. He's only option is to get on a little boat and float in the Amazonas to a doctor's house in the area. The point of the story is that as he drifts though the river his mind also stars to drift and, well, he dies.

And to continue with this insane analogy, I think I just need to surrender like the man in the story. Of course not to actually death lol I don't think surrender is the thing that's going to make me shift either. I think I'll end up having like an ego death or something. Like, I have all these limiting beliefs to myself that I'm deconstructing little by little, and this "final surrender" is the last step to a new breakthrough, or a new perspective, a new me.

Yep, a little dramatic, but I'm really excited.

I feel so liberated with this "new" way of shifting. Like I literally am putting it in the hands of fate and my own subconscious, I'll shift when the moment is right, and I'll also know it when I know it? idk I have been stressing over shifting and everything in my life for so long, I don't want to do it anymore, so I'm not lmao

Anyway... I'll be reporting anything worth reporting on this.

chausito.

[firefrightfic]

Self Love Retrospective

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2021. Tag as many creators as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Tagged by @wajjs Thank you <3

1. In the Closet of Our Discretion (Caleb/Essek, clothing kink, M) My favourite fic that I wrote in 2021, out of year where I rather neatly launched myself out of my comfort zone and fandom into new and unknown territory. It was so much fun to write a fic that was, essentially, almost entirely build up, with lots of worldbuilding included for the culture of the Dynasty, based on the simple idea of 'what if Dynasty fashion and status was built on the idea of how many layers someone wears?'. It also let me add a whole other layer badumdumpish to the pining the wizards do in canon, which of course wasn't already fraught with tension enough. Very proud of it, A+,100% will torment Caleb more in the future. Plus, I still love the visuals for Essek's outfits that I came up with.

2. All Things in Perspective (Verin focused, background Caleb/Essek, fake character death, M) My first real big Critical Role fic, because I fell in love with the idea of Essek's himbo lawful good younger brother after the post-campaign 2 wrap-up aired and just wanted to throw all my feelings about him at the wall. There are some ideas in it that I probably would change if I were to write it again now, many more months down the line into making my own headcanons about the Dynasty and Den Thelyss, but ultimately it was great fun to look at the M9 and Essek's relationships through the perspective of an outsider who wasn't there to see Essek's slow transformation through the power of friendship, and instead gets slapped in the face with it all at once.

3. Borne by Light (Essek focus, eventual Caleb/Essek, bad ending AU, M) This fic is still a WIP, but it let me combine the Essek, champion of the Luxon, headcanon with a 'the good guys lose' ending and then look at the potential of what can happen after that. It still has a ways to go in terms of story but the ideas at play are things I'm very excited about exploring, and just y'know, the fun of putting your favourite characters through their worst case scenarios and seeing them come out the other side. Plus, hey, let's explore religious trauma and scepticism in a world where higher powers and gods 100%, undeniably exist, and the one guy who really, really doesn't want this basically being put in the position of the one to save the world (except in actual fact all he wants to do is save his friends).

4. Set in Stone (Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, T). Okay, technically this story was actually written in 2020, but I published it online in 2021 so I'm counting it. There is so much still to say about all the things comics canon has never addressed about what Jason went through after his death and resurrection and this fic was my chance to address a very big part of his trauma that has never been explored, as well as take a more hardline look at Jason and Bruce's relationship against the usual fandom (and recently canon) choice to sweep their differences neatly aside. It was also the first ever story I wrote and published for a fanzine and I'm immensely proud of it.

5. Shadowgast Omegaverse series (Caleb/Essek, alpha/omega E) Yes, yes, technically cheating to include a series, but since realistically it's all one story I'm doing it. Omegaverse has always been my jam since I started writing fic, and it's refreshing to take it into a new fandom where it hasn't been explored extensively (at least from what I've seen). Worldbuilding is actually one of my favourite aspects of the trope and this series has given me a lot of room to play with presenting different sides between the characters and the cultures they come from, while essentially also writing a redo of canon through that lens.

6. From Past to Present (Caleb/Essek. T) My first Critmas fic. I'm sneaking this one in as my last fic of 2021. I had the idea for a homebrew Dunamancy spell, and of course, one of Caleb's canon love languages is gift giving, so naturally I ended up writing a story where he creates said spell as a gift for Essek. It also has the requisite lifespan angst, and its at the heart of why the spell is created in the first place. I just love soft wizards, and getting to write them at an advanced stage in their relationship, still hopelessly in love with each other, was everything. I really enjoyed writing this one.

Okay, I'll stop there, even though I could throw up a lot more. 2021 was really about exploring new fandoms for me (I also did some Devil May Cry and Castlevania fic) after six years of writing nothing but DC comics, and super refreshing from the point of getting to explore new ideas because of that XD Much thanks to the new people who have come to enjoy my stories in that time, as well as to those older followers from my DC fics who have stuck with me still, as well <3

Free tag out there to anyone who sees this and would like to do it. Celebrate yourselves and all the good work you do!

[quantumspacetime]

Log Date 30 11 21

Your boy went to the gym today. As a socially awkward, self conscious 24-year old, I find it difficult to be in any unfamiliar situations, and going to the gym is one of them; it's suffocating, to say the least, and my anxiety is always at its peak. But I've been doing home workouts for months now and I feel like going to the actual gym is the next step to loving and taking care of myself even more. I'll stop it if it's too draining and exhausting, but today's session felt great! The gym instructor was super nice and welcoming, he's very hands on and he acknowledges my limits after talking and consulting with him before the session. He says that I remind him of his younger self because he, too, was self conscious before and wouldn't come out of his comfort zone, but the thing that changed his views is his acceptance of the fact that he needed changes in his life, and the realization that the only person that can give him the changes that he yearns for is himself.

I felt seen and validated after his pep talk. It's comforting to know that after a few months of commitment to the training, I'll be able to achieve my goal. Never in my life have I associated exercising to myself because I was always the kind of person who will do anything to avoid strenuous physical activities, plus I've always had the perception that people who goes to the gym are vain and are self-centered, but look at where I am now! I am happy that I've completely moved on and have grown from that line of thinking. I have come to realize that not all people who goes to the gym are vain and self-centered, the majority of them just wants to be healthy, to exercise and to maintain a physique that will make them love themselves even better, and I am an avid fan of loving yourself in any way that you can.

We'll be making a program especially for my body type and my goal next session, today was more of a warm up and general orientation, but the instructor made me use some of the equipments to build the upper body. I don't have any clue as to what they are called; to me they're just called gym equipments, except for the treadmill, of course, because we have one in the house. I'll probably do some extensive research just so I can follow and to avoid delays next time.

As a stereotypical September Virgo, I am always excited to run through my routines and I am happy to add going to the gym to my weekly routine. However, knowing myself, I have absolutely no idea how long I can be consistent and committed, but today I am pumped and excited! I also made friends with the kuya manning the snack bar because I saw that he has mogu mogu in his fridge, and I am always excited to munch on some nata de coco.

I'm posting these pictures here to remind myself why I'm doing what I'm doing, and why I need to continue doing them. I'm sure my 15-year-old self is proud of me for stepping out of my comfort zone!

love always,

Gerson