#in every fanfiction i write this is why

[ms-all-sunday]

can i leave this under every post i ever see about zoro.

[zephyrchama]

Resting with Belphegor

You're laying on the couch, face up with Belphegor draped over you like a weighted blanket. His breathing is steady and slow. His arms are wrapped loosely around your shoulders. His face is snuggled into your chest. It's warm and it's comfortable and it's peaceful as you scroll your D.D.D. The house is quiet. You absentmindedly run a hand up Belphegor's back while searching for new content.

Thunk.

Oops.

Belphegor stirs with a snort, inhaling a little too fast in surprise. You scramble to pick up your fallen D.D.D. and hide it between the cushions. His forehead is already turning a light shade of red, but you know demons are hardy. He'll be fine, physically speaking.

Hands grip your shoulders. Two dark and narrow slits glare at you from inches away. They would be threatening if Belphegor didn't look so pouty, his cheeks almost puffing up with anger.

"Sorry." You try not to smile while apologizing. It's a difficult task when he looks more cute than scary. "It won't happen again."

Belphegor huffs. His chin digs into your sternum but his grip on your shoulders turns weak. "You said that the last three times. I should curse you."

"But I really didn't mean to!" you insist. "I said sorry."

"Aahh, it hurts so bad." The red dot where your phone made contact with his head is hardly even visible. "Ow, I'm so badly injured. Look what you did to me."

Belphegor's acting skills have really degraded since he came out of the attic. Or maybe he's too lazy to put actual effort into it anymore.

"You want a bandage?" There might be some in the kitchen. It wouldn't do anything, though, and he would have to get up for you to treat him. You wonder if his head alone could crack your D.D.D.

"No, but I think a kiss will make it feel better."

[oxenfreeao3]

There aren't many hobbies out there that are free to do, inherently creative, and capable of bringing joy to people all across the globe.

But that's why I love writing fanfiction.

[anto-pops]

The Serpent's Paramour - Sebastian Sallow x Female!Reader

Summary: For the past five years, you've been traversing the Highlands in pursuit of ancient magic sites to master the all-consuming power from the repository. In the midst of your travels, you find yourself forced into an uneasy alliance with none other than Sebastian Sallow. He wants your help, but you want absolutely nothing to do with him.

At first, that is.

While the two of you learn to coexist in the same space again, you’re left wondering if you truly will be able to aid one another, or if your past mistakes will finally come to head after all these years and ultimately lead to your long awaited downfall.

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: 18+. aged up characters, canon-typical violence, kidnapping

Chapter 1 can also be found here on Ao3

You were getting really tired of running for your life. 

During your fifth-year turning tail and booking it was often heavily warranted, especially because it was usually being done as a result of you waking up hordes of Inferi, or stealing important artifacts from dark wizards that would then be out for blood. You liked to think you had grown out of that habit, but tonight was proving to be something of a trip down memory lane. 

You were being chased. Again. 

Tucking your knees to your chest, you ducked down and rolled through mud at the same time a Bombarda curse blew up a chunk of the tree ahead of you. It was a close call, but you could hardly stop to survey the extent of the damage when you could still hear the thugs behind you giving chase. 

“You daft idiots, grab her!” 

Another spell struck the ground where you’d landed moments before, but you were already on the move– dipping and weaving in a bid to dodge the attacks that were fired blindly at your back. It made no sense; you had never been intercepted at an ancient magic site before, and as far as you were concerned, there was no reason for anyone to take interest in a dilapidated ruin. Aside from using the crumbling fortress as a makeshift base, no Ashwinders or poachers had ever been lying in wait in what was otherwise deemed an unremarkable location. 

They had been this time, though. To make matters worse, they were looking for you specifically. 

Your name had been like a battle cry from their lips as you’d exited the rundown site, and you hadn’t bothered to stick around to find out whatever the hell it was they wanted with you. If you weren’t so tired and weary, you would have apparated yourself to safety in a heartbeat, but splinching yourself as a result of your carelessness wasn’t exactly at the top of your to-do list. So, you had bolted straight for the edge of the forest, doing your best to avoid colliding with the low hanging branches that scratched at your cheeks and ripped at your cloak. 

There was more yelling from behind you, only this time it sounded distinctly farther away. Chancing a look over your shoulder, you discovered that there was now ample distance between you and the goons chasing you, and you pivoted on your heels to head north for the river that separated the Clagmar Coast from Cragcroftshire. If you could reach the water, you would have a better chance of getting away and concealing your tracks in the process. 

At least, you hoped you would.

Lungs aching, you pushed yourself harder, your arms pumping at your sides as you lept over a fallen log in your path, and though you stumbled a bit upon landing, you remained upright and pressed on. Another spell whizzed past your head– the heat from the Confringo curse nearly singing your matted hair– but you ignored it and focused wholly on running. It felt like an eternity had passed when you finally reached the colossal ravine, immediately trying to formulate a plan that would result in you on the other side with your pursuers left behind. There was no bridge to repair, no loose boulders to form into a levitating staircase, nothing. Panic began to fester in your mind for a heartbeat before you steeled your nerves and banished the feeling entirely. Hysteria wouldn’t help you right now– it never had. 

“There– up ahead! Move your asses, dammit,” came the same voice from before. You turned to watch as a handful of masked assailants slid down the muddy embankment roughly fifty feet from you, and that sight alone spurred you into action. 

Your wand was ripped from the holster on your thigh, and you channeled every bit of magic in your body into it as you aimed for the largest tree across the daunting trench in front of you. The Accio charm wrapped around the top of the monstrous trunk, and with every ounce of strength you possessed, you pulled. It seemed impossible at first, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and the foreign power from the repository surged to life to give you the assistance you gravely needed. There was a deafening crack as the wood began to splinter and give way under your ministrations, muting the onslaught of footsteps that grew nearer and nearer. With one final pull your efforts were rewarded, and the massive evergreen tipped towards you slowly before gravity caught up to it, sending it plummeting towards where you stood. 

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? It was a philosophical question– one that you had never thought about much before– but you had always assumed that with no one around, there would never be any way to know. Presently there were multiple people around, and as it turned out, a falling tree did make a sound. 

As you dove out of the way, the pine covered top of the tree arched past where you had been standing, stretching over the shrinking space between you and the encroaching strangers behind you. Most of them saw the gargantuan tree heading straight for them and jumped out of the way, their shrill screams echoing throughout the forest and bringing a small smile to your face. A few others weren’t so lucky, and you watched as the peaked top of the tree swallowed them whole and buried them beneath a heavy thicket of pine needles. 

Seizing your opportunity, you ran for the makeshift bridge and hauled yourself on top of the rough trunk, shoving and kicking at the spindly branches that stood in your way as you practically clawed your way through to the other side of the ravine. You didn’t dare look back, keeping your eyes trained ahead as you focused on maintaining your footing and not getting thrown off balance by your satchel. 

It looked like a hurricane had torn through the earth when you finally emerged at the base of the tree. You hopped down and landed in the deep, root-riddled crater that had previously held the evergreen upright before running to the side to gauge where your attackers were. Most were still gathering their bearings while others attempted to drag their comrades out from under the suffocating weight of the branches. You hardly spared their survival a second thought as you pointed your wand at the center of the tree and cast, “Confringo!” 

The flames grew rapidly and without mercy, frantic calls of “hurry” and “get them out of there” reaching your ears as you spun towards the forest and disappeared into the treeline. There was no knowing how much time you had bought yourself, but you weren’t about to squander any of it for a second. 

You ran, and you did not look back. 

***

One would assume that after two years of living in abandoned hovels and scrounging up scraps to eat with your bare hands, you’d be used to being cold, wet, and miserable. Hell, you had learned more about yourself since leaving Hogwarts than you’d ever thought possible, including just how resilient and resourceful you could be. Rain storms, stale bread, and a lack of clean water had never deterred you for long, and through all the trials and tribulations you found yourself facing, you always managed to pull through. 

Tonight, however, you allowed yourself to be sullen. 

The torrential downpour you’d been caught up in somehow managed to slip through the canopy of trees overhead, and as a result, you were encased in a cold, wet, dreary darkness. It had been two hours of trudging through mud and frigid temperatures, and by now you were caked in a thick layer of grime that you desperately wanted to rid yourself of. Charming away the mess was pointless– it wouldn’t be long before you were covered in muck once again– and you’d learned long ago that using magic while in the middle of a void forest was a bad idea, especially when you were trying to remain undetected. 

After the events from earlier in the day, you had decided to head straight for the next site marked on your map to make camp and settle down for the night. However, you were still a day away from reaching the location, no thanks to the dark wizards that had chased you in the opposite direction. Your stubbornness and desire to reach your destination is why you currently found yourself on the outskirts of civilization, trying and failing to fend off the elements to get the journey over with, but the bone-deep chill that wracked your body was beginning to weaken your resolve. 

You were exhausted. 

Thunder rumbled overhead, long and loud amidst the sound of raindrops pelting against the dirt, and with a disappointed sigh, you made up your mind. If memory served you correctly, the town of Bainburgh was roughly a two mile walk west of the forest. Your paranoia told you it was too risky to set foot in a legitimate establishment, but your numb limbs and wet boots squashed your fears before they could come to head. Staying outside for the entire night would likely leave you dead, and there were few other options to choose from. 

So, you marched. It took roughly forty minutes to traverse the jagged, rocky landscape in the dark, slowed down by the stray roots that stuck out of the ground and worked to trip you in your haste. By the time you made it into town, you were soaked to the bone and shivering violently enough that you were certain passersby could hear. The tavern was helpfully the largest building at the end of the road, and you headed straight for it without sparing any of the town’s denizens a second glance. 

The warmth that greeted you as soon as you entered was beyond welcoming, and you tugged the door shut behind you before beelining straight for the firepit in the middle of the room. Your hands were so numb that you practically had to submerge them in the flames to feel any semblance of reprieve, and a few onlookers cast wary glances your way. Between the mud that coated your lower half and the water that dripped from every fiber of your clothing, you realized you had to look like a walking disaster, and that sobering thought had you tucking your hands under your armpits as you hurried to the bar at the back of the room. 

The older gentleman wiping down the counter turned to face you, his aged face showing obvious alarm and concern when he caught sight of you. “Merlin’s beard girl, you look like you’ve been dragged straight through hell.” 

You flashed him a bashful smile, though you were certain it looked like more of a grimace. “You could say that. You wouldn’t happen to have any rooms available for the night, would you?” 

With practiced efficiency, he tossed the rag he’d been holding over his shoulder and shuffled over to the cabinet at the edge of the bar, opening the squeaky glass panel that housed the keys for the rentable rooms. “Ordinarily the answer would be no, but that damned storm blowing through has business movin’ slow. I’ve got two rooms left, one with a bath and the other without.” 

Your heart soared as you hastily replied, “The one with the bath, please.” Without missing a beat, you snatched your weighty coin purse from your belt and dropped it on the wooden surface. The barkeeper raised his white, bushy brows in silent surprise as he tentatively picked up the drawstring sac, plucking ten gold pieces from within before handing it back to you. The bronze key he deposited in front of you had a wooden tag dangling from the end that read ‘13’, and for the first time in nearly two weeks you found yourself genuinely smiling as your fist closed around the cool metal. 

“Up the stairs and on your left,” he instructed you. “Kitchen is open for another hour if you’re tryin’ to grab a bite before bed, but I’d wager you’re more interested in the runnin’ water.” The way his eyes fell to your soiled clothing didn’t escape you. You almost felt bad for tracking all the mud and water through the lobby.

Twenty minutes later, you had a warm loaf of bread and a small wedge of cheese tucked away in your bag as you ascended the rickety staircase. The decor within the aged tavern was modest, save for the silver plaques that adorned each door with their respective room numbers. Finding your own was a non-issue, and as soon as you were inside the sanctity of the rented space, you let loose a breath that you’d seemingly been holding since setting foot into town. Now wasn’t the time to let your guard down, but you weren’t about to turn your nose up at clean linens and running water. 

Moving quietly, you stripped down to your undergarments and tossed your ruined clothing in the corner of the bathroom, then cranked the tub’s faucet to the highest setting and left it to fill. The bread from the kitchen had cooled some, but it hardly made a difference to you as you ripped off a piece and ate it with the cheese you’d purchased. Fresh food was a rarity for you these days, and you savored every bite as you paced the length of the room. With your hunger sated and your looming bath just around the corner, you allowed yourself to think back to the last few weeks, and you pondered just why dark wizards were looking for you.

Understandably, the whole situation reminded you of your fifth-year. Suddenly you were fifteen again, being hounded and hunted by Ranrok and Rookwood alike for simply existing. At that time they had wanted something from you; your abilities, your information, and most prudent of all, your silence. You’d known too much back then, but those times had passed, and both Ranrok and Rookwood were now dead– at your hands, no less. 

So why would anyone be looking for you? Who were they to you? What did they want? 

It wouldn’t surprise you in the slightest to discover that you had more enemies lurking in the shadows. The stunts you’d pulled and the things you’d gotten away with back then were bound to catch up with you, but you hated not knowing. The whole reason you’d left Hogwarts after graduation without so much as a word to anyone was precisely because you didn’t want your whereabouts known. The line between friend and foe had started to blur towards the end, though you acknowledged that it was mostly your fault.

You hadn’t turned Sebastian in, but you also hadn’t moved to stop Ominis from doing so. 

With him imprisoned in Azkaban and Ominis reeling from the decision, it was no wonder the two of you had drifted apart in the years that followed. Anne’s curse worsening had only exacerbated Ominis’ feelings, and you’d graciously stayed out of his way anytime you saw him around school. Natty had never fully recovered from Harlow’s use of the Cruciatus curse on her, and your guilt had in turn driven you further away from her. Poppy was the only person you’d stayed in touch with for the remainder of your academic life, but she was too good a person to drag down with your… issues. You’d ultimately been the one to cut contact with her following your seventh-year, and while you’d felt bad about it at first, you knew it was for the best. 

After tonight, that decision had proven to be the right one. If you really were being tracked, were any of your former friends targets for information? Did this impromptu, wild goose chase have anything to do with your volatile abilities from the repository? Had you unwittingly put them in harm's way simply because they knew you? 

The bread in your mouth had gone soft, and you shook the pointless thoughts from your mind as you finished off your mediocre dinner and made for the bathroom. The warmth from the water was divine and single-handedly chased away any lingering doubts about holing up in a public place for the night. For just this once, you would gladly trade sleeping in the cold, wet dirt for the pending restlessness and paranoia that was bound to greet you, and greet you it did. 

After climbing under the itchy but clean blankets, you stared wide eyed up at the ceiling for what felt like hours. Every squeak of a floorboard, every booming laugh that echoed up the stairs, every shadow that darted past your window, all had your heart racing. Even after checking twice that the two points of entry were indeed firmly locked, your nerves wouldn’t steady. Your skin crawled with unease at the prospect of being blindsided in an unfamiliar place, and at one point you even began pacing the length of the tiny room just to tire yourself out. 

Eventually, you came to a grinding halt at the foot of the bed, your hands curling into fists as you sucked down a slow, deep breath. “You’re fine,” you murmured to yourself. “You’re fine. It’s okay, you’re safe, you’re fine.” 

Maybe if you repeated it enough times you would start to believe it. 

The second time you crawled beneath the prickly sheets your brain was still running in overdrive, but you were far less fidgety than before. You had no clue how you managed it, but eventually your eyes drifted shut– and even if it ended up being a fitful bout of sleep, you would be grateful for the few hours of shut eye you managed to acquire. 

Gratitude went right out the window, however, when you were startled awake by a whispered, “Petrificus totalus.” 

Your body locked up– stiff and unable to move an inch below the scratchy covers– and before you even had the chance to glance in the direction of the disembodied voice, they whispered a different sort of charm. 

One that made your world go dark.

[nonsense-is-everywhere]

Being silly.

SIKE! THIS WAS AN AD FOR MY NEW FIC THE WHOLE TIME. Boy I had you fooled. Anywho, here’s the summary along with the tags.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: SMG3 & SMG4 (SuperMarioGlitchy4)

Characters: SMG4 (SuperMarioGlitchy4), SMG3 (SuperMarioGlitchy4), Mr. Puzzles (SuperMarioGlitchy4), Bob Bobowski (SMG4), Fishy Boopkins (SMG4), Meggy Spletzer (SuperMarioGlitchy4), Tari (SuperMarioGlitchy4), Luigi (Nintendo)

Additional Tags: Little Mr. Puzzles is very important to me, Cannon typical shenanigans, SMG34 if you squint, Relationships aren't the focus tho, Takes place in the middle of the Puzzlevision movie, Little Puzzles is like 11 to me and will be written as such, May have projected my adhd onto him a tad, No beta we die like Axol did, Angst, Relatively new to the fandom, Anon is on because I'm a nervous person, The SMGs and Mini Puzzles are the main focus

Summary:

SMG4 and 3 escape one channel, just to be hit completely off track and fall into a seemingly endless void.

After meeting the floor, they find themselves in a room with a shadow like memory of a child, who is ecstatic to have finally made some friends.

If you’ve been wanting to see more Mini Puzzles centered fics like me, then consider reading.

And as much as I like thinking of interactions between Mini Puzzles and Mr. Puzzles, they won’t be seeing each other in the fic for a while 😔

[xylophone888]

being a fan of any other character feels like giving somebody a genuine heartfelt compliment, being a fan of rincewind feels like nonstop day and night 25/8 staring into your aquarium where a lonely sickly shrimp resides never leaving it out of your sight and screaming at the top of your lungs when it eats or gets slightly better because you've been medicating it carefully for the last month and left your job just to care for it

[motleyfam]

**Regardless of whether you actually overuse it or not, which one is the most enticing to you as a writer?

[allaboutlov3]

"i write sins not tragedies"

sincerely, marauders fanfic writers

[inkluvs]

could you come in

a/n: originally posted in november 2022? i think? god it's been a while. anyways !! my writing style has changed since then so this is a bit different then anything i'm writing currently <3 i think an anon requested this ? not sure. oh yeah @velvetcloxds helped me choose which one to post tonight <3

warnings: insecurity. petnames. i did not proofread this.

sirius black x fem! reader

ivy's cafe // masterlist // taglist

“Doll? Did something happen?” Sirius’s voice called out. You let out a small sigh before dragging your palm over your face in an attempt to focus

“’s nothing, just got distracted,” you replied. Technically, you weren’t lying, you had gotten distracted you just hadn’t specified by what. Sirius knew better than to press on and that you’d tell him later when you felt up to it, but something felt off about you today, more so than usual

You turned on the water and he could hear the splash of the water against the sink basin as you flick the water droplets towards your face, screwing your eyes shut in an attempt to keep the liquid out of your eyes. You turned off the faucet, your previous worries returning to you as soon as you return back to your spot earlier staring at the mirror.

“Sirius?” He jumped when he heard his name, assuming the worst.

“Are you alright? d'you want me to come in?”

“’m alright but could you come in?” you said, voice lacking in its usual confidence. Sirius tilts his head slightly as if wondering what you needed him for. He’d be there anyways but that didn’t stop him from being curious.

Sirius got up, the mattress groaning at the loss of his weight, and twisted the doorknob before pulling it open. The corner of his lips, which turned up at the sight of you, turned into a frown at the slightly distressed look on your face.

“Is everything alright?” he asked, voice soft as if trying not to startle you. You look at him and try to smile, your eyes the only thing that keeps him from believing you.

“Do I look alright?” you say, and you turn yourself to the side, looking over your shoulder to look into the mirror. And suddenly Sirius knew exactly what this was about.

“Angel, you know that you’re perfect right? no matter what anybody says, you’re beautiful.” You nod hesitantly in a way that has him questioning whether you’ve heard him fully. He repeats his statement and you look at him before nodding.

“You're stunning” he whispered and with that, he pulled you to his chest and pressed his lips against your forehead while rocking you back and forth.

[wander-wren]

small things to stop doing in your fics

(or any kind of writing, but i live on ao3. we begin with flat-out crimes and then slowly start moving into things that just bug me personally but aren’t wrong)

epithets. if i’ve said it once, i’ve said it a thousand times. you should only be using epithets for characters whose names we do not know. they can also be used VERY rarely to break up the repetition of names/pronouns or to emphasize characters’ relationships/viewpoints, ie “his boyfriend” or “the asshole.”

writing out accents. please stop. you can include a couple of small things, like “somethin’” or “ya” (for “you”), but even keep that to a minimum. specific turns of phrase/references go way farther imo to establish a character’s culture/background/etc. a little goes a long way, and doing it repeatedly can make sentences hard to parse. this also! applies! to children and babytalk! have you ever listened to a child speak? toddlers can enunciate pretty well!

not enough commas. put commas before names and titles. it’s not “Hey John” or “I’m on it captain,” it’s “Hey, John” and “I’m on it, captain.” also, put them after discourse markers/interjections such as “well,” “so,” and “now.” you should be writing “So, how are the kids?” not “So how are the kids?” even if your character is speaking quickly, you still want the commas because of grammar. it can occasionally be acceptable to omit them if you want to indicate extreme excitement/panic/anger/etc, but use it sparingly.

too many commas. i’m a comma fiend like the rest of you so i’m guilty here too, but we gotta at least stop with the comma splices. commas split and independent and dependent clause, meaning that one part of the sentence cannot grammatically stand alone. if all parts are complete sentences on their own, that’s a comma splice. try splitting it into two sentences, using a semicolon, or rewriting. this is usually fine in dialogue, though, that’s just how people talk.

also, using a lot of commas to denote panic is something i used to be HUGELY guilty of and now i hate it. instead of, “I, I, I don’t, I don’t know,” you can try, “I-I…I don’t—I don’t know!” probably not that much punctuation that close together, but for the sake of example. emdashes and ellipses, my beloveds 🫶

roleplay speak. i don’t know what else to succinctly call this? i’m referring to the tendency to be redundant and over-explain, especially in dialogue. it’s a phenomenon i see constantly in rp circles, usually because of post length requirements (and i have little issue with it there, it’s just the culture). things like:

“Surprise!” Adam shouted, popping out from behind the door.

“Oh my god!” Scott screamed, having been completely startled and not expecting Adam to be home yet.

yeah, we can guess that Scott is startled, right? because of the screaming? and clearly if Adam is surprising Scott it stands to reason his presence is unexpected? why are we stating this twice?

i believe this also comes from the mistaken idea that every line of dialogue needs a tag attached, which is….horrible. you can let the dialogue exist on its own sometimes, friends. you can also include an action beat without a tag. like above, i could have just said “Adam popped out from behind the door” and omitted the shouting altogether. we can assume he is being loud because that’s usually how people do surprises. anyway. moving on.

condescending to readers. this isn’t so much about writing as it is author’s notes and the like, and “condescending” may be a strong word, but i’m trying to be succinct. at any rate, please stop telling your audience to not read your fic? “do not read if sensitive to [blank]” or “if you have [disorder] skip this fic!” is a horrible way to trigger warn. people know their own boundaries. tell them what the work actually contains and let them self-select.

i also find “rest stop/check-in” type notes condescending, like “if you are reading this between the hours of 10pm-4am, go to sleep” and “STOP! have you eaten/drank/walked around in the past few hours? go do that!” again, we know ourselves. i’m not your kid, don’t tell me what to do. i don’t mind a polite, casual little “thanks for reading, remember to drink water and take your meds, bye” note, though.

the others in this category? i will straight up not read the fic over that on some days. ESPECIALLY because, in my experience, the people who are most intense about warning for every little thing are the ones with the mildest fics, and that’s not what i’m here for.

complaining about your own wrong tags. this is, admittedly, such a nitpick, and it definitely is more common in certain communities than others. but as longtime followers may know, i’m a bit obsessed with ao3’s tagging system and it drives me BONKERS when people use the wrong tags and follow it with “not actually but there’s no tag for xyz.” here’s the thing: you can still look at all the works that have ANY tag, just the non-canonized ones can’t be filtered on. and the best way to get a tag canonized is, guess what, to USE it! imagine that. also, if you’re using the wrong tag, you’re just going to clog the filter results and get people who don’t actually want to read your fic. just stop.

[happy74827]

You ever just revisit your old fics (which unfortunately are public to the world) and you want to delete it so bad because it’s just painful to glance at, but at the same time, you know someone out there is emotionally attached to that fic and you just don’t have the heart to rip that away from them.

The true pain of a writer.

[lilmissnatcat24]

the first reunion

needless to say, horrible nasty ridiculous turn left spoilers below the cut:

Shepard looked at the man. He was a turian, tall and imposing and looming over her. Horizon had no turians, either. Other than a handful of volus to help orchestrate intergalactic trade and one asari wife, there were no aliens on the entire colony. He stared down at Shepard-- at least, she thought he was. He still wore his helmet, he was nothing more than a mass of hulky black armor with a glowing red trim and red visor over where his eyes would be. 

A million questions surged through Shepard’s head. They swam in a muddied puddle that made it impossible for Shepard to extract which one was the most important one to ask. So, she asked the most simple question she could: 

“Who are you?” 

The turian seemed to be knocked out of his trance. He stopped staring directly down at Shepard and began rifling through the shelves. Shepard realized that he had brought her to one of the general stores in the colony. He pilfered through the different displays, throwing anything that apparently was of no use onto the group like some haphazard toddler. 

“Ask me a better question.” 

It was more of a demand than anything else. Shepard wasn’t quite in the mood to play the question game with some lumbering hunk of a turian that refused to take his mask off indoors like some sort of douche. “I beg your pardon?” 

He sighed, exasperated as if Shepard was some mild inconvenience to him. “We do not have a lot of time. You need to pick your questions very carefully. Now, ask me a better question.” 

“Or, you could just tell me what I need to know,” Shepard said testily, her anger rising in her chest. “Instead of this demeaning game of cat-and-mouse.” 

The turian seemed to find what he was looking for, ripping open green plastic bags and dumping what looked like pills in his hand. “Would that I could, sweetheart. Do as I say.” 

“I am not your sweetheart,” Shepard said. 

He paused, only for a moment, before hurrying back over to her and squatting down to her level. “Now that, I am perfectly aware of. Eat this.” 

“What is it?” Shepard said warily. 

“When I said you need to ask better questions, this wasn’t one of them. Eat,” he demanded, shoving the pills into Shepard’s mouth. 

As soon as she bit down, Shepard twitched in pain. It was as if someone had punched her clean across the nose, their knuckles soaked in eucalyptus. The pills made it seem as though they reached up into Shepard’s brain and tickled it with a feather. Her eyes watered, her mouth burned with a spice that wasn’t hot but instead cold. As she swallowed them, she felt the burn radiate down her windpipe and into her stomach. 

“What the fuck was that?” 

“You humans call it wasabi,” the turian said, a smug note in his voice that was overwise obscured by the helmet’s speaker. “More universally in the galaxy, it’s called a kick in the quads. Now stand up.” 

Shepard didn’t realize the feeling was back in her limbs. She stood, still shakily, still not too confident in her abilities to not fall flat on her face. But she stood, which was more of an improvement than she could have said five minutes ago. 

[marcsnuffy]

re: those posts, I will never understand how passionate some cishet male manga fans get when describing two male characters fucking to criticize the media they're talking about

[the-lizard-lord]

Me, writing chapter 15 of zombie: I have written up a pretty good build up to the fight with Kuro! Yay me!

Me, writing chapter 16 of zombie: fuck's sake, now I have to write the goddamn fight scene.

[gimlilithegreat]

I don’t know why but every time I start to write a new chapter of a fic it starts off sensible, 4-5 bullet points of things that need to happen, a couple of ideas for conversations or POVs.

Then I start writing and I only get through 3 bullet points because I’ve added 8 other things, started another sub plot and added a new character.

And now I’m at 10k for the chapter and no closer to the plot I was planning.

Anyone else or just me? XD I am not sure I want to change as people seem to like it but my best mate thinks I am actively avoiding writing Harry at Hogwarts because it’s been 60k and Harry’s only just got his hogwarts letter…

[silv-paru]

FUCK CANON ALL MY HOMIES HATE CANON