#in case anyone here cares and hasn't heard the news yet

[scandinavianfairytale]

Wanting

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Reader

Warnings: Consumption of alcohol, consumption of drugs, discussion on drugs, friends with benefit (somehow?), cursing, sexual themes & smut (DUB-CON, grinding, police van sex, drugged out sex, mention of public sex, mention of rape, mention of revenge porn (not towards Reader), mention pornography, mention of non-consensual filming, fingering, one pussy slap, unprotected sex, hard sex - Walter is not gentle & sees it like a punishment, multiple orgasms, drooling, crying, squirting, chocking, creampie, little bit of praise)

Walter disliked being on call on Friday nights. Ever since the new drug, Houdini, started popping up everywhere the police has been running around in circles, trying to find the main supplier, but has repeatedly come up short.

Houdini was a mixture of ketamine and ecstasy. A party drug that is supposed to highten your senses and drive up your sex drive. Sounds like a perfect mix, but what the dealers left out was the memory loss, the dehydration that followed and complete lack of mobility.

It was a mess all over the damn country - the rape cases skyrocketed, revenge porn sites were having a field day because of all the public fucking taking place, the emergency rooms were stacked with people on gurneys and everyone had to deal with victims with memory loss.

Everyone was having a bad time - the victims which were pilling up by the minute, the police that was understaffed had to do even more over hours and the doctors that had to triage almost every Friday night.

Yet people were still taking that stupid drug.

Walter was pissed off, to say the least.

How are people this stupid?

He thought as he watched a group of drunk women giggling after just snorting the Houdini. His blood boiled knowing damn well that he couldn't do anything about it. The amount of people taking this drug was too high for everyone to get arrested or booked. Priorities his superiors loved preaching.

One of the women left the group to get some drinks. Her dress barely covered anything, leaving very little to the imagination. He shook his head as he watched several heads turn after the woman. She definitely got the attention she wanted.

"Walter!" He heard and looked around to see who was calling him. Out of all the damned people, you were the woman in that short dress. The one that just snorted the Houdini. Walter clenched his jaw and his grip on the beer he was drinking tightened.

How can you be so stupid?

"It's been a while." You smiled at him. He could see how drunk you already were and he also knew the drug will take effect soon, if it hasn't already.

"You should come meet my friends!" You grabbed his arm and pulled him towards you, stumbling a few steps back as his massive weight crashed into you. Walter let you drag him to your friends, also because he knew that whatever attention you had on you would dissipate once he was next to you.

"Girls, this is Walter! The friend I told you about!"

"Oooooh, the policeman." One of your friends slurred.

"Are you here to arrest us? We're just trying to have a good time." Another winked.

"Oh stop it! He's the nice policeman. He would never arrest us." You leaned into him.

It already started taking effect.

You weren't aware of it yet, but you started lightly grinding on his leg. He heard how your breath came out laboured, and he knew he had to get you out of there. Grabbing your arm, he started dragging you away from your friends.

"Walter, what the hell?! Let me go!" You yelled, trying to resist his grip.

"I can't believe you out of all your stupid friends are acting this way." He grumbled. "You know better than anyone what's going on these days."

"I was careful." You whined, stopping him in his tracks. He turned around to glare at you, making you shut your mouth.

"Careful? You don't even realize that the drug has started taking effect. You can barely stand and I'm pretty fucking sure that if I let you stagger back to that bar you'd get lost."

"Fuck you."

"Right." Walter started dragging you to the police van parked in the small street.

"Get out." He barked at the man that was inside, surveilling the cameras around the city. The man tried to object but one stern look from Walter sent him out. Water threw you in the van, climbing in behind you and closing the door.

"What is your problem?" You yelled at him, tugging your dress down when you realized you were much more exposed than you were comfortable with.

"Now you're trying to cover up?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're more than happy to bare your ass to strangers but with me you get shy? What the fuck were you thinking taking the Houdini?" You never realized he was so big as just now that he was towering over you. Your pussy clenched as your eyes lingered on his cock.

"Tammy took it before and she said she had the best fuck of her life. I just wanted to see how it felt like." You bit your lip as he crouched down to you.

"You're taking advice from a drug addict. Are you stupid?"

"I didn't take the full dose." You defended yourself. "Just a taste, to see how it feels."

"And? How does it feel?"

"Antsy." You swallowed, trying to decide whether or not to tell your very angry friend what you were thinking. You shifted on the floor a bit and the cold steel flooring touched your soaked pussy, making you gasp.

"I see the Houdini is in full swing." Walter observed you.

"Can you help me, please?"

"I'm not going to be nice. You need to learn a lesson, and maybe next time, you won't go around experimenting with drugs." You nodded before Walter pulled your collar down, exposing your breasts. His hand cupped one and pinched your nipple, making you moan.

"Keep tour mouth shut." He slammed a hand over your mouth, grabbed your hips with the other, spinning you around, and pushed you into the wall of the van. He kicked your feet further apart, making you stick your ass further into him. You could feel your nipples harden at the contact with the cold steel material. His hand then traveled to the center, under your dress, before finding your clit and circling it, making your hips buck.

"You're dripping." He said into your ear before he forced two of his thick fingers into your still clothed pussy, making you moan into his hand that was still clamped over your mouth.

"Completely soaked." Walter commented. "That's the Houdini doing its magic. Imagine if I left you there, you'd be grinding up on some coked up asshole that'd fuck you right in the middle of the bar. Anyone could record you and you'd end up on some porn site, where strangers would jack-off seeing such a whore like you get publicly fucked out of her mind. Maybe a coworker of yours stumbles upon it - bye-bye that stellar career of yours." His voice was low and raspy. Somehow, that made you even more aroused. Your pussy had a mind of her own as you realized you have been incessantly humping Walters fingers.

"Mmph." Moaning, your tongue licked his fingers, making Walter tsk. You could see your release, just a few more grinds.

"You're getting hornier by the second." He chuckled and withdrew his fingers, taking away that sweet feeling, making you whine. "But I'll be nice and I'll take care of you." He rasped into your ear before he spun you around and bent you over the control table, your head laying on the keyboard. Tugging your laughably short dress up, he exposed your core to him. He slapped your pussy, making you yelp. He tsked again when his hand made contact with your drenched and sticky thongs. His fingers wrapped around the string, pulling it away before releasing it back on your skin. Throwing your gead back with a loud "God" your pussy clenched at the impact and your back arched at the sensation.

Walter chuckled as he watched your cunt throb as he started unbuckling his belt. He finally pulled down your thong and ran his leaking cock up and down your puffy pussy. Your chest heaved, and you made sounds you didn't recognize. All you wanted needed was his cock in your cunt.

"Remember that I'm not being nice." He warned before he seethed himself in you with one powerful thrust, slamming your hips into the control table. It hurt, but in the most delicious way that you have never experienced before. The pace he set was brutal, the letters of the keyboard scratched your face, adding to the mix of pain and pleasure you were feeling.

Your orgasm hit you fast and hard, your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your body spasming on his cock, but Walter just continued fucking into you. He was like a man possessed, grunting and moaning above you, his pace never faltering even after you clenched around him. He immediately pushed you into your second orgasm, making you moan out loud as juices squirted out of you.

"Fuck." Walter cursed as he felt your squirt wet his thighs. "Let's see if you can do that again."

His hand moved from your hip to your stretched pussy, circling the spot where you were joined, making you gurgle. His pace switched, his cock was slowly stretching your walls and with your drugged state you could feel almost every vein on his organ.

Mindblowing.

"Stop drooling over the keyboard." He stopped his adminitrations and grabbed a fistful of your hair to push you away from any electronics before returning his hand back.

"You're completely stretched, must be painful." He commented as he circled your full hole. You choked on your words and tried to shake your head.

"No? Good, you're taking me quite well." He praised you, making your legs shake a bit. His fingers lightly stroked around your pussy, purposefully avoiding your clit, making you whine.

"Walter...please..." You choked out.

"What is it?"

It was hard to formulate words, your body was on fire and it felt like cumming was the only thing that would put it out. But in the state that you were in, all you managed to let out was a hoarse "Cum.".

"You want to cum?" He mocked your meager attempt to communicate what you need.

"Mhm."

"So, if I touch you here," Walter tapped your clit which made your hips buck and him smirk. "then you'll cum almost immediately?" You could feel him starting to prepare himself for another round. One that you knew you were losing soon, not that there was anything to complain about.

His fingers framed your clit and his other hand grabbed at your throat. "Let's see how much you can take."

His pace again hardened, his first sharp thrust made your hips slam back into the edge of the control table, but this time he kept you firmly pinned by your neck, preventing you from slipping away. His fingers were rough on your engorged clit, but that just added another layer to your rapture.

You couldn't form a sound anymore. Your body just locked when the orgasm hit you, but then when your juices squirted out, you started convulsing. But he just kept going completely overloading you, your hand fruitlessly reached for his hand, trying to shove it away from your clit, but he wasn't bothered.

You couldn't handle another orgasm, but you had no choice but to take it. Both of you could feel how close you were to another peak again.

"That's it, come on, I know you have another one in you." His grip on your throat increased, making you release a choking sound, tears welling up in your eyes, but it also made your pussy clamp down on his cock, making you squirt again. A few thrusts more and finally Walter released himself into you. Feeling the few spurts painting your womb and his cock go slack, you finally let out a relieved sigh.

It was over.

"Good girl." Walter cooed, kissing your shoulder. He carefully let go of your throat and pulled his cock out and your body finally slumped, completely exhausted. Observing your abused and puffy pussy, his cock twitched as it refused to close. It really was a sight to see how his spend oozed out of your hole and he resisted the urge to push it back in.

He buckled up his pants and carefully pulled your thongs up, sitting you on the only chair in the van. He rummaged around to find a jacket before draping it over you, before he opened the van door again and carried you out in his arms. Your head lolled as your consciousness wavered.

Walter walked past the man who was previously thrown out of the van and the man immediately knew not to comment or bring up the situation again.

"Shhh, don't worry. I got you. Just rest now." Walter shushed you as you tried speaking. Nodding weakly, you let the darkness consume you.

Thank you for reading! 🙈

The GIF belongs to the amazing creator! 😊

[mothdust23]

CW: Death, loss, extremely unhealthy coping mechanisms, identity issues, light blood, Emotions

A desperate witch. She's investigating the disappearance of dozens of entities, including her very own doll, Lilac. Usually, she's very reserved, but losing her only friend has sent her into a tizzy. She hasn't eaten, hasn't slept, she hasn't even been to her house in days.. it hurts, being inside without her faithful companion. Too quiet. She misses the doll's ticking, how it calms her. She looks at a picture of Lilac and her together, laughing at a joke with a few of their friends. She sighs and presses a doorbell with the tip of her parasol, staring up at an old brick and mortar mansion. This new lead has to work.

Tracking spells don't work, neither does old school investigation. The evidence is strange, very strange, and never leads anywhere, so she's trying a new path: observing another doll, one she's sure is the next target. Whoever's taking the entities is altering the world around them, subtly corrupting and twisting the environment. Objects becoming slightly different, the wallpaper changing to another hue, little details that don't matter until they pile up. It happened for her own doll, it happened for dozens of other entities, and now it's happening to this one.

Walnut reminded the witch of her own doll in a lot of uncomfortable ways. While her old doll was made of intricate clockwork, this one was roughly carved from scraps of wood, its face only half finished. It walks with a limp, and one of its arms was clearly a later addition, perhaps added by Walnut herself. Yet, like Lilac, Walnut lights up when talking about its interests, although in its case it ends with embarrassed reservedness. Walnut's witch died before it was ever finished, so it's lived alone, tending to a house without an owner. It refuses to say how long it's been, but, as the witch brushes her hand across glass older than she is, she feels a strange sense of.. pity.

"This one knew something was wrong when it saw Miss' third favorite lamp!" the doll says, gesturing to an ordinary lamp with an ornate base. The witch blinks, clearly not understanding.

"What's wrong with it?"

"It was rose gold, not bronze.." it whispers somberly. "At first, this one worried it was finally breaking down and... joining Miss, but.. it saw your advertisement, a-and.."

The witch nods, donning her monocle and staring at the lamp. As far as she can tell, it's always been this color.. She tuts, looking around the room, briefly seeing the telltale glow of the doll's core lit up by the enchanted eyepiece. A comforting sight.

"I don't know what to tell you, I'm sorry. Has anything else changed?"

"Well, not that it has noticed, ma'am. Do you want it to check?"

She shakes her head. "It's quite alright, Walnut. I trust you've heard about the other disappearances?"

"Yes, but this one cannot fathom why anyone would want to take it.. all it does is care for the house. For Miss. It's what she would have wanted."

They both quiet down as a groaning sound echoes through the house.

"...house settling?" the witch offers, trying not to betray any worry. The doll shakes, fiddling with its hands nervously.

"The house has never sounded like that, Mi- er, ma'am" it whispers.

"Any.. other dolls, live here?" she presses.

"Just this one.."

Another groan, closer. This time, they can hear a strange humming sound, getting louder and louder.

The witch slowly reaches towards her parasol. She grips it too tightly, something Walnut notices and decides not to comment on.

"Stay behind me, ok?"

"Y-yes Miss- oh, sorry!!"

"..We can discuss calling me that later, little doll."

The unfinished doll could only respond with a squeak, hiding its face in its hands. As the hum gets louder, a harsh glow appears under the room's door. The witch fumbles for her eyepiece and steps back in horror, staring through it past the door and at the monster behind it. She's never gotten this close before, and the whole time--

A desperate witch. He's spent the past few months preparing this spell, and he considers it a mercy to only choose entities people wouldn't miss. The buzzing is loud, so loud, and he needs only a few more souls to cure this ailment once and for all. It'll all be worth it.

..he regrets being so sloppy. A few humans and birdpeople who still had family, an angel working at a hospital, a doll who still had a witch. Every one a liability, someone who would be missed, and here he is, looking down the end of another witch's umbrella, looking like a deer in headlights.

"...Shit."

"..you're a witch. Like me." the woman manages to say, lowering her parasol slightly. Walnut doesn't say a word, fiddling with its hands. It looks into his eyes and clutches the first witch's coat in terror.

"I recognize you. You were that doll's witch, weren't you?" he says, clutching his hand in pain. Strangely, only the hand being held has a glove, the other covered in a red substance she dares not identify.

"...what do you MEAN, were?" she responds. The man finds the tip of her umbrella pressing against his nose.

"I- I- I'm sorry, it was the only way- I HAD to, I couldn't find anyone and I was- agh- running out of time.. like right now.. please, give me the doll." He looks like he's in pain. Blood and oil cover his once-regal clothes.

"Tell me where my doll is, or I swear to Selene I'll turn you into a grease stain."

He coughs, looking at the floor in guilt.

"..I'm sorry. I- I wish I didn't take someone who had a witch to come home to."

"Where.. where's Lilac? Tell me it's ok, please just.." she manages to sputter out, eyes filling with tears despite herself. "Please tell me my doll's still alive.."

"..."

"..please."

"I'm sorry.."

She chokes out a sob, dropping her parasol.

"It was the only way. I.. I never wanted to kill them, but- ACK-" He doubles over, seemingly in pain, and rips off the glove on his right hand. To the witch and Walnut's horror, it's jointed, like a doll's. "G-give.. give me the doll. I need it. Nobody.. w-will miss it. It'll be a clean kill.."

"I.. I don't know what you want with Walnut, but.. I'd miss it. Your murders end here."

She reaches down to grab her parasol. Surprisingly, he lets it happen, sitting against the wall.

"I.. I need sacrifices. Living souls, doesn't matter whose. It's.. the only way."

"Only way to WHAT?"

Porcelain crawls up his arm. "Delay it, until I can cure it. I know a spell that forces the changes to the world around me, but.."

She stares at him. "You killed so many people.. including my Lilac.. so you wouldn't become a doll? You.."

"I CAN'T, OK!? I REFUSE! I CAN'T BE SOME- SOME THING! I HAVE MY LIFE AHEAD OF ME! I- I have promise.. talent.. I can't be a doll. I don't want to be a doll."

"...They had their lives ahead of them, too. Come on, Walnut."

"W-what? Where are you going? DON'T JUST LEAVE ME, IT'S JUST A DOLL!!"

He tries to get up, but one of his legs gives out, ball joints clicking into place. She ignores him, escorting Walnut outside.

"..you ok?"

The doll hugs her, shivering. "This one has never, ever left the grounds."

She cradles its bad cheek. "Something tells me.. your witch would've wanted you to move on. You're a very old doll, aren't you?"

"..Y-yes, but-"

"..I can't stop you from staying, but.. if you ever want company.."

They share a look. The humming and light inside the house reaches a crescendo, a scream rings out, and everything goes dark. A doll stands up in the empty house and starts cleaning a stain off the floor.

"..This one thinks.. it would like your company very much, Miss."

"..Me too, Walnut. Me too."

Dedicated to my sister, Jacqueline. Love you sis!

Happy Halloween ^^

[turtlecleric]

Venty thing set in the bayverse, Raph is mentioned but no turtles show up

CWs: Implied depression and suicidal ideation, hurt no comfort

Hm.

-

Maybe it's because you haven't been sleeping much lately. Actually, it could be that you haven't been doing a very good job of taking your medicine consistently. Yeah, maybe- but you've only missed a few doses. Work is stressful, sure, but that's nothing new.

Whatever the case, it's 5:00 in the afternoon, and you've yet to drag yourself out of bed. Not because you've actually been resting, no, but there's just... something weighing you down. Something holding you here that you can't name or explain very well.

You consider reaching out to one of the guys. They always make you feel better - at least, until you say something stupid and ruin your own mood. But you... you don't really want to be around anyone right now. Especially them. They haven't seen you like this. At least not when it's been this bad. No, better to wait it out, you think. Wait until you can actually make yourself smile. Wait until you can at least act like a normal person.

You feel like you've spent most of your life waiting.

Your phone buzzes shortly. An email, maybe. Or some random app notification. You don't care enough to check.

You feel gross. Maybe a shower would help. But if you're going to shower, then you might as well work out a little first. That's supposed to help, too, or so you've heard. Hasn't yet, but maybe it's the kind of thing you have to do over the course of several months? Or maybe you're just... doing it wrong.

Sometimes it feels like you do everything wrong.

You sigh and roll over, staring at the light filtering into the room through your curtains. For some reason, you wish it was darker outside. This feeling, whatever it is, when it's dark out, it feels... well, not better, exactly, but. Easier? No, that's not right either. More understandable? You don't know. But you wish it was darker all the same.

Surely there's something you can do to feel better. It's been months of this feeling, though, with very little reprieve, despite everything you've done to try and push through it. Trying to keep a positive attitude. Trying to be kinder to yourself. Trying to distract yourself and take steps to avoid isolation when things get dangerous. Trying, trying, trying, that's all you ever do is try. You're tired. Tired of feeling like this, tired of pretending that you're h-

Crying again. You're not sure why you started. You're not sure why you can't stop.

You wonder if Raph ever feels like this. If he ever has days where it feels easier to stay down. Probably not. He's never been one to stay down - not in the time you've known him, at least. He'd probably be able to push through this like it's nothing. He'd probably be disappointed in you for not being able to-

No. You're being overly critical again. Putting sentiments in other people's heads when you've got no evidence that that's what they think. You can't possibly know what Raph would think unless you actually ask him - and that's certainly out of the question.

Still. Maybe you could... text him. It would distract you for a little while, at least, from the gaping maw that is your chest.

You roll over again and reach out, fumbling with your phone. Shaky hands. You should eat.

Maybe later.

You swipe away the notifications that have gathered. Nothing of importance, you note. No one's messaged you. The emails are all spam. Just a bunch of random shit, like you expected.

A voice in the back of your head whispers that if Raphael wanted to talk to you, then he would have messaged you first. You push the thought away, reminding yourself that relationships are a two-way street. And just because someone hasn't reached out doesn't mean they don't want to talk to you at all.

Still. Your thumbs hesitate after opening the text thread you've got with him. You... don't even have anything to say. Not really. There's nothing you feel like talking about, you just- you just want-

You don't know what you want.

You lock your phone and toss it to the side. Maybe you'll message him later.

Or maybe you'll go into the bathroom. And stare at the medicine cabinet for a while.

[kingdaddydaichi]

DAICHI coming home to find you curled up on the couch, crying...

600+ words. comfort. gn!reader. unapologetically self-indulgent catharsis. i needed this. if anyone reading this is going through it, may this bring you comfort. i hope daichi's hug reaches you too.

~

The line from the "F.R.I.E.N.D.S" theme song comes to mind: ...when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year... and it makes you cry harder. How has it come to this? You don't even like that song. You resent the fact that it sums up your life so succinctly. How basic.

You know he's home. You heard the front door open and close, the jingle of his keys, the sigh of relief that falls from your dear husband's lips every time, like clockwork.

"Babe?"

You always greet him at the door when he comes home with a bright smile and a cheerful "Okaerinasai!" as you wrap your loving arms around the back of his neck and stand on your tippy toes to give him the sweetest kiss.

But tonight was different. Nothing new, but different.

Over the years, Daichi has seen you at your worst more times than you care to remember, and yet he still loves you with all of his might. So it's no surprise when you hear his long, slow footsteps cease for a moment, no doubt having noticed your form curled into the tiniest ball you could muster.

He furrows his brow, knowing.

With your back turned and your puffy, wet eyes closed, like a cartographist, you can still map out your husband's every move. Daichi is light-footed. Without his shoes on, his feet don't make a sound. Particularly when he doesn't want to wake you in case you're asleep. But the faint whisper of his slacks rustling together is all you need to triangulate on his movements.

You feel his big, warm hand on your back and he whispers your name. You shudder beneath his touch, your body wracked with fresh sobs. Knowing he's here makes it okay to let go of all you've been clinging to in an effort to keep it together. Now that Daichi's home and within arm's reach, you begin to fall apart at the seams. Because you're safe and he's got you. Just like he always has. You don't have to worry and you don't have to be the strong one, for a little while anyway. He is your strength when you need to be weak. He holds space for you to come undone.

So you turn over to find him squatting beside you, his warm, brown eyes filled with sorrow and compassion and a whole string of unspoken I love yous. You reach for him and in the next moment, he has you. Strong, sheltering arms pull you in like your heart doesn't have the weight of a thousand worlds on it anymore. He smells like comfort and your whole body trembles as you openly weep. The last in a long string of losses has been threatening to pull you under. So you let the waves of grief crash over you, knowing full well your husband will never let go, will never let it swallow you whole. Because he loves you too much to let it take you from him.

He keeps you fastened to the sanctuary of his chest as his steady hand strokes your hair and cradles your head. With his lips pressed to your temple he says nothing at all. Even as you ball the back of his t-shirt in your fists, he doesn't tell you everything's going to be okay. Not yet. He doesn't shush you or offer you any words of comfort. He just holds you without negating anything you're feeling.

Several moments pass and all you can do is cling to Daichi for dear life as tears burn their way across your face, your skin saturated with hours of grief. But little by little, your tears are soaked up by the soft cotton of his shirt just as his mere presence dulls the pain and absorbs the ache.

"It's okay to fall apart, baby," he finally murmurs against your hair. "I'll help you pick up the pieces every time."

"What if we can't find all the pieces? What if they're too broken?" you whimper.

"Then I'll help you make new ones," he promises.

~

sorry for not tagging anyone. this is personal so ig it would feel disingenuous in a way?

[generic-sonic-fan]

Hi! Just in case you're still doing the ship chart asks, i'll ask for Shadow x the Commander. I'm gonna have to explain a lot on how I got here (i don't think anyone else has made a case for it on this website before) so please bear with me for a bit lol

My first point of interest... I genuinely think the Commander is meant to mirror Shadow's own journey in a way (both in SA2 and Shth i mean). The details vary but it stands that either through manipulation or general lack of information, they're both driven to seek revenge against eachother for their childhood best friend/sister figure, Maria : to Shadow, GUN, humanity and therefore the world, is responsible. To the Commander, Shadow (along with his two dads) is responsible. But in the end, they're able to see the situation with more clarity. Shadow realizes that Maria loved the planet despite all the flaws of its inhabitants, respecting her wish for her sake... And although those feelings aren't explored that much in depth, i think the Commander realizes something similar too, that Shadow cared about Maria a lot and in a way is finally able to see the kindness she saw in Shadow too...

I also believe that in a subtle way, the commander's arc is an echo to Shadow's search for the truth. Even though he starts out convinced Shadow is the evil one, that viewpoint is challenged when he actually faces him... (in the only scene they have together, the Commander leaves their interaction uncertain and confused, when a minute earlier he was determined to get rid of Shadow for good... just one short interaction with Shadow was enough to shake his resolve and question his convictions. The commander was one piece of the puzzle Shadow needed to solve, but the truth was just as lost on the commander as it was on him)

All this to stay. Shadow's journey of finding the truth in its whole and putting the past behind you is also the commander's, methinks. They're two people coming from opposite sides of the story, they deeply mirror yet contrast eachother... i thought that was really brilliant. So i'm really invested in what their interactions would be like after this game.

Canon hasn't really brought back the commander in the past 20 years (i heard shadow gens would change that though! hurray for me), so this next point would be about what their dynamic (relationship?) might look like post-shth.

We know the commander is pretty remorseful, and goes so far as to invite Shadow to his house... not sure if Shadow would have accepted though, lol. But either way i do believe the commander wanted to bury the hatchet for good and is determined to keep it that way, even if Shadow is still a menace sometimes.

As for Shadow... there is that one scene in Chronicles.

(It's hilarious to me. its canonicity is dubious but i couldn't not mention it)

Shadow doesn't like humans still so I think he has little respect for the commander lol. I feel like while the commander really tries to get along with shadow, the guy remains pretty ambivalent to him at best ha.

However, with their shared past and all, there's potential for them to grow closer on that basis... maybe a sort of confidant relationship. The past isn't something either of them are defined by, but it still can't help but hurt at times... I imagine it would be especially hard for Shadow, who could still be recovering memories of that time and whose trauma seems so much fresher in his mind. In those moments, the commander might be the person in the world who understands his pain the most, and as someone who's lived with it for decades and managed to build a new life around it, his support would be really valuable, even if Shadow doesn't accept it at first. I think that vulnerability and the emotional intimacy that comes with it would be the key for a more intimate relationship to develop between the two... they'd become really important part of each other's lives this way, irreplaceable

Sorry about the huge wall of text haha. even without the shippy stuff, I find their dynamic really interesting and i like thinking of their possible future together... it wouldn't be all sunshine and rainbows, probably really messy in the beginning. I believe they could have a sweet ending together though. it's the rarepair that's closest and dearest to my heart and i'd go as far to say i think it would be more popular if they were the same species! That's not the case though, so i'll keep spreading my propaganda >:)

Anyways, I'm excited to know what you think! Even if you don't see it, I hope you got something out of my ramblings

You're honestly kind of insane for this but you know what? I respect it.

Made it into a messy QPR since while their chronological ages match, their mental ages don't quite mesh for me. You go off though, sonadowkismesis. This is a genuine rarepair and I enjoyed thinking outside the box for this.

[quicksilverdrabbles]

Taliesin: I must say, you've a very good nose for finding injured people, Inigo.

Inigo: Thank you. They are just up this hill.

Kaidan: Peak's Shade?

Lucien: Oh dear, I hope S'vashni hasn't killed anybody again..

Xelzaz: No, this one is still alive.

Inigo: There they are!

Gore: *sitting on the ground with his leg caught in a bear trap*

Lucien: Oh gosh. I suppose asking if you're okay wouldn't be very helpful here.

Gore: N-Not really- *sees Morana standing near the front of the group* Uh.

Morana: *sighs, shaking her head. She pulls out her notebook and begins writing in it, showing the finished phrase to Gore* Hello, my name is Morana. No I am not here to kill you or lead you to your death. *she tilts her head, considering, before turning the notebook back towards her and adding more* Or enslave you.

Gore: You- What? I mean, the killing or leading me to my death I would have believed, but where did enslavement come from?

Morana: *points at Yaksha* That one.

Yaksha: Haha. She saved me from a slaver.

Gore: That.. makes more sense. But, if you're not here to kill me, then... *he stares at the group, confused. His gaze finds Taliesin, and his expression falls into a glare* You're here to imprison me. You're with the Thalmor.

Taliesin: What.

Morana: *waving her hands frantically* No, we're not. *turns to Taliesin* I told you to stop wearing those robes!

Taliesin: Well I don't have anything else to wear!

Morana: I just bought you new Vagrant robes!

Taliesin: When???

Morana: Like a week ago! I told you about them!

Gore: What is happening.

Lucien: Ah, Morana can't speak very well, so she uses sign language. Me, Taliesin and Yaksha can understand her, and the others are learning.

Kaidan: *speaking over Taliesin's arguing* Anyways, Taliesin won't imprison you or anything. If he were still a Thalmor Justiciar he wouldn't be alive right now. I'd have made sure of it.

Inigo: Yes, do not worry.

Gore: ... Right. I suppose I'll believe it for now.. Um. *he winces* Can you guys- just get me out of this thing?

Kaidan: Oh shit I forgot about that- Yeah, we'll get you out. Yaksha!

Yaksha: Right here. Please bite down on this while we get your leg free. *hands him a leather strip*

Gore: Thanks..

Morana: *looks over at Gore's muffled yelling* Oh, you got him free.

Xelzaz: *sigh* No thanks to you!

Taliesin: Don't you look away from me, I am still talking to you!

Morana: *shakes her head*

Taliesin: Don't roll your eyes at me!

Morana: I wasn't even looking at you!

Yaksha: *checking for broken bones and applying healing salve to Gore's wound* How does that feel? Better?

Gore: Very much so. Thank you, er..

Yaksha: Yaksha. And that's Kaidan, Lucien, Inigo, Xelzaz, Taliesin, Styx, and Morana.

Gore: Quite a crowd you all have. Cute nightmare dog.

Lucien: Isn't she?

Styx: *barks*

Taliesin: *still rambling* It's not as if it is my fault the Thalmor hunt anyone suspicious! Of course people like Kaidan are going to be targeted if they stand out enough!

Morana: You're really not helping your case here.

Gore: Er, my name's Gore.

Inigo: Gore? That is quite a strange name.

Gore: It's a long story. Any chance we could talk about it back in town?

Lucien: Oh yes- Yes of course! Is he well enough to stand yet, Yaksha?

Yaksha: I am unsure. If need be, I can carry him.

Gore: I don't think that'll be necessary, big guy.

Morana: *still arguing* For claiming to know so much about fashion, you're certainly attached to those ugly robes.

Taliesin: UGLY?! Why you-!

Morana: *perks up, hearing twigs snapping at the bottom of the hill* Wait shut up.

Taliesin: You dare tell me to-?!

Morana: I said shut up!

Inigo: You heard it too?

Morana: *nods* ...

Kaidan: Yaksha, watch the lad.

Gore: Who the hell are you calling a lad-?

Thalmor Soldier: Well the mutt couldn't have gone off far! Spread out and search for him! And be careful, there are hunting traps everywhere.

Inigo: *whispers, sword drawn* We go on your signal, my friend.

Morana: *nods, drawing her dagger and dousing it in poison* Go.

~

Morana: *taps Gore's shoulder*

Gore: *sitting by the fire, leg bandaged* Hm? What is it?

Morana: *showing him her notebook* How's your leg?

Gore: Fine. Your healer works wonders.

Morana: Yeah, he's the best we could ask for.

Yaksha: *competing with Inigo to see who can fit the most honey nut treats in their mouths*

Morana: ... Assuming he doesn't choke to death himself.

Gore: Haha! I can see there's no end of excitement with these ones.

Morana: Are you sure you're okay travelling with someone who used to be a Thalmor? I'll understand if you don't want to.

Gore: Hm, well.. It'll take some getting used to. I think I'll survive, though. As long as he doesn't try anything funny.

Morana: You sound like Kaidan.

Gore: Ha!

Taliesin: *walks out of the tent wearing his new Vagrant robes* ...

Morana: Well, how are they?

Taliesin: ... They are. Acceptable. I thought most Vagrant robes had conjuration enchantments though. Are these destruction?

Morana: I enchanted them myself.

Taliesin: ... I suppose I must thank you, then.

Morana: I suppose so.

Gore: I'm really gonna have to learn your sign language so I know what you're saying without that book.

Taliesin: It seems Lucien has taken up the mantle of resident sign language teacher, if you'd like to ask him.

Gore: I'll be sure to do that.

[panelshowsource]

this is such a great episode!

for anyone who hasn't listened yet — it deals with some heavy things including food addiction and eating disorders, death, and more, so anyone who wants to check it out should be aware it's about richard's own history and his self-identified "failures", and it's not particularly light-hearted or funny even though it's endearing and inspiring in many ways

i really appreciate his honesty and how carefully he speaks. he has every right to be angry — with his father leaving, with his relationship to food and shame, with the ever-present confines of modern masculinity making life so lonely for men — but he never seems to be. he just cares about being the best, healthiest version of himself. and i appreciate that he doesn't talk at people, preach, act like he knows more or best; he just knows what he knows all while seeking to always be learning more. i really appreciate him!

i've never heard of a podcast by tailors, how interesting! i listened to the episode with alex and it was really sweet! i'll post this in case anyone else wants to check it out :)

(of course 💜)

same, i'd only really heard of it because i got a bunch of messages about it! (i was a little unplugged from scripted tv when the first series came out 😅)

TOTALLY AGREE about jon pointing! his comedic timing, his facial expressions, he is just too hilarious — even though...can i just say...why was that old ass man playing a uni student X_X

anyways — i knew him from plebs!! that's quite a famous itv2 series, so you should check it out and see if you like it! i love tom basden ugh and if you check my non-panel shows masterpost i have live at the moth club and he does standup in ep1!

i am somewhat familiar with it as someone who likes to watch some of the nextup specials (alistair barrie was one i enjoyed recently!) and tries to keep abreast of the festival nominees & winners, but i don't have as much time as i'd like to really weed out my favourites only because there isn't enough time in the day and i'm already trying to watch 100 things a day 🥲

one thing i find funny is how i pay more attention to who would do well on tv opposed to who is just GOOD. like, i didn't get john kearns until stopped thinking about him in the context of dictionary corner and started acknowledging his written set as a very, very specific piece of work that really shouldn't be disassembled and consumed in morsels. but i do see my interest in — and potentially my preference for — panel shows reflected in some of the circuit guys i like, such as alasdair beckett-king, huge davies, larry david. i just know they would kill panel show world if they were pushed properly :')

i find that i like standup a lot more live than i do on screen — which i think a lot of comedians would understand!

as well, i find the discourse about how difficult it is to get started/off the ground now that edinburgh fringe is becoming less and less accessible extremely fascinating and try to listen to all of the podcasts/convos about that that i can. it's costing comedians upwards of 5k just to debut a modest set at edinburgh — which is madness. here is tom mayhew talking to bbc news about this just a couple of weeks ago...

anyways, is there someone you wanted to recommend? i would love to check out anything 😚

—

daniel sloss standup — added a couple of those to drive! god i looooooved him when i was in high school and still do! highly recommend him on roast battle uk if you need extra sloss content. i'll work on the others over the next couple of weeks

alma's not normal — added to drive!

here we go — i know exactly where this is so i can hook you up but imma need you to dm/ask me off anon for the deets!

hold the front page + the unofficial science of home alone — sorry anons i don't have these on me but they're very easy requests someone can hook you up with on r/tv_bunny, so post them there!

—

PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS / NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[vulpine111]

My landlord isn't going to accept section 8.

That means I'll probably only be approved to live at my current location another year- if that. I have to save up as much money as possible for my next apartment. The costs entail movers, a deposit, admin fees, etc. Not to mention I want a book case, reading chair, and comfortable mattress to make the next place a little more liveable.

I really have liked it here. :(

The prospect of moving is stressful, but I trust the agency involved in my care won't let me slip through the cracks and this is somehow for the best. Anyways, does anyone know how I can acquire more money? I can't save anything on simply SSI. As soon as I am used to my CPAP machine, I'm going to apply for part time work and get involved with the department of vocational rehabilitation, though.

I'm reaching towards a goal of $150/month to consistently put in savings until I receive my section 8. $200/month would be more ideal, quite frankly. I can't have more than $2000 in my account at a time and I get $943 a month. That means I need to save up $1000 and hope that's enough for everything.

I have no idea when section 8 will hit but there will be fees involved with ending a lease early, too. It all feels daunting. I need to discuss with someone if there's a way I can save more money for everything without getting in trouble with social security. I heard "ABLE" accounts are a thing in some areas but I don't know if New Mexico is one of them.

Aside from moving fees, eventually I need a new phone, extra $$$ for when I'm healing from surgery, and a car. I want to be able to afford to run my own errands.

On top of working, I'm going to make as much art as possible. I will be happy to sell art to anyone who wants it. This might garner more attention for the Ko-Fi account I'm going to create and then people will be able to tip me if they like my art or the tarot readings I'm going to put on YouTube.

Speaking of tarot, my order from Magick.com that I placed on the 29th still hasn't been sent. I am starting to feel upset. According to what I found on Google, this behavior seems typical of them. If they don't give me an update by next Friday, I'm going to complain and get a refund, maybe. I already sent an email politely asking why it hasn't been sent yet.

[nogenderbee]

OMG I JSUT HAD AN IDEA HELPL

OKAY OKAY HEAR ME OUT PAHLEEEESE

So there is a contest that decides whos the best potion maker and you and Rui are tied and you both become stubborn during this challenge so you 2 kind of hate each other and trying to beat the other at everything passive-aggressively but one day Rui is stranded in a rainy forest and is lost for the entire night and we find him the next morning drenched and reaching for an apple in your tree and since we aren't heartless we give him a few apples in a basket and give him a map and send him off and everytime up until this point and after that he starts secretly putting little trinkets on your doorstep and you guys decide to have a truce and work together to become the best potion makers

(SORRY IF THIS IS LONG I TRIED TO SIMPLIFY IT AS MUCH AS I CAN IM FINE WITH LITERALLY ANYTHING HC, STORY ANYTHING I JUST NEED SIMEONE TO HEAR ME OUT)

Omg, my dear anon, believe me when I say I absolutely adore your idea! And don't worry about long request because I have a feeling this fic is a little longer than I expected... but anyway I hope you enjoy it <3

Enemies to Lovers with Alchemist!Rui

You were one of the best potion makers in your country if not on the whole world! But title 'one of the best' isn't a mistake since there's someone who matches with your talent, and that person's name is Rui Kamishiro, someone who's just as good at you at potion cresting and your biggest enemy. Last tournament you've been to, you were against him and both of you had a tie! No matter how many additional rounds you do and how much effort you put into surpassing him, you two always ended on a tie.

Today you were going back to those memories from tournament while working on your new potion that world hasn't seen yet! But the fact that you were pissed at certain purple-haired alchemist certainly didn't helped.

When you were done mixing, you just had to wait couple of minutes and potion would be done with your win! So you decided to spend some time looking at nature. You looked outside and saw that it still was raining like crazy but you also saw your biggest enemy reaching for one of your golden apples! So naturally you quickly rushed outside before he could do anything, after all he could've just wanted to poison them to make your life harder!

"Hey! You there! What do you think you're do-?!"

You were in middle of scolding him when you saw how cold he was. He was trembling like crazy and his eyes were watery, and barely could say a word to you.

Sure he may be your enemy but you're not heartless so you decide to help him out somehow. Luckily your golden apples had ability to warm up anyone who eats it I don't care if they don't, shhhh just pretend so you decided to give him a full basket of them, just in case, after all they will grow back and he needed them more than you right now. You also gave him some of your bonus maps you had since it would definitely explain to him better where to go than you.

"Thank you very much. I... really can't thank you enough!"

You could see that he was surprised and you couldn't blame him, if your biggest enemy was nice to you all of the sudden, you'd be surprised and suspicious as well. So with simple 'goodbye's and 'thanks', he walked away.

Time Skip here ~

Since that day you helped your enemy, you started to receive some small gifts. Be it some resources you could've used for your potions and that weren't so easy to find, some snacks, simple jewelery or many many other stuff! For a while you thought that it may be from your rival and he's trying to sabotage you but the more you received, the more you were sure the presents weren't there to sabotage you, suite the opposite actually!

One day tho, your curiosity won and you decided to spill trapping potion over front of your yard to catch the one who was after it. Sure it may sound cruel but it's completely safe and you just wanted to know who it was.

So once you heard the familiar sound that meant someone was catched, you went out to check it hoping that it wasn't another animal that happened to pass by, and luckily for you it wasn't! You finally could've know who this generous person was and it was... Rui...?

"Oh my, so obvious trap and yet I didn't noticed it... Well, you catched me, darling!"

He raised his hands in defence once you broke the effect of the potion.

"To be honest I had my assumptions but... why? I'm your probably biggest enemy and you helped me by giving me rare resources!"

"Well... how do I put it... that night you helped me, made me understand that you're very special and I don't want you to think of me as a enemy, more of a... friend for example!"

"But... competition between us is unavoidable, we're matching abilities so of course we have to decide who's better...!"

"Or we can be partners if you'd like! After all, if we truly are the strongest potion makers in the country, if not in the whole world then if we put our strength together we can be unstoppable!"

You saw a bit of crazyness painted over his face but that didn't surprised you. After all you were waaayyy too familiar with that expression of his. But he did have a point... if you were to work together, you might truly accomplish something amazing, and he doesn't seem as a bad partner neither.

"You're right... well then, if you're alright with that then I'd love to work together with you!"

"Amazing! I absolutely can't wait for the world to see how amazing we are together! So I wish us both a pleasant cooperation~"

❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #50

previously - Journal Entry #49 (part four)

Victor

It's Tuesday again.

I keep doing this, recording entries on Tuesdays. Unlike last Tuesday, nothing much happened today, but that's not to say I don't have news. Even if today wasn’t eventful, the weekend was.

I finally heard from Seiji. It took him until Sunday to reply to the multiple texts I'd sent him on Friday, but better late than never, as they say. What's going on with him will require some explaining, so let me come back to it, 'cause I'm sure you want to know how Yuri and I are doing too, right?

Right. Here comes the health update. There’s some good news and some not so good news.

Good news first; I'm feeling a lot better. It's like my body decided to kick itself into high gear and get some serious healing done since Friday. I’m still getting headaches, but they’re not nearly as intense as they were before, and the blurriness is completely gone from my vision now, which is super encouraging. Today, I didn't take any pain medication for my arms and rib, not even ibuprofen.

In hindsight, I think I probably should've had a little something in the afternoon, because my rib was hurting by the time I got back from spending several hours at the hospital with Yuri. The chairs in there aren’t particularly comfortable and it’s hard for me to sit for long periods of time. But, you know me. I was trying to be a tough guy about it.

My biggest problem right now isn't pain. It's that I'm restless and nearly bored out of my mind. I'm still not cleared for exercise, but I keep trying to sneak in some shoulder stretches and a bunch of leg work whenever I can. Normally, I'd be training, going to work, cooking and cleaning, and taking care of Yuri, but I can't do any of that at the moment and a guy can only take so much inactivity. I'm going kinda crazy with nothing to do.

As for Yuri, his progress hasn't been quite as good as mine. He's slowly getting better, but he's still in the hospital. It's been a whole week as of today, and I don't think he'll be getting out for at least another week.

He hasn't reached the stage where he's bored yet, probably because he's really weak and he's still sleeping a lot, but at least he's able to get out of bed on his own now. He was even up and walking for a few minutes this afternoon. I coaxed him to drink some water afterwards, which probably looked hilarious because I was holding the cup for him and I had to hold it between both hands while he sipped through a straw.

He's still not eating, unfortunately, so they're still giving him intravenous nutrition infusions. I'm sure he's capable of eating independently, but I think he's scared, and nothing anyone's said so far has been enough to motivate him to try.

Dr. Kasongo has already brought up the subject of tube feeding at home, but only with me because neither of us feel Yuri is ready for that conversation yet. Obviously, tube feeding will be an option of last resort, and we really don't want to frighten or upset him any more.

I’ll be honest, the idea upsets me too, not just because I hate the thought of how debilitating it’d be for Yuri, but also because I don’t think I grasped exactly how sick he is until I had that conversation with his doctor. Like, I’ve always understood that his illness is serious and chronic, but I don’t think I fully comprehended the magnitude of it, if that makes sense.

Dr. Kasongo is hopeful that we won’t have to go the tube feeding route, in any case. She’s certain Yuri will settle enough to start a liquid diet by mouth in another day or two, but I'm not sure it'll happen as soon as she imagines it will. Not without some kind of intervention, at least.

The nutritionist came to see him while I was there today, and he had a complete meltdown in front of her. It was pretty clear that he did not want to hear anything about the food plan she was suggesting for him once he's released from the hospital, and his solution was to dissolve into tears and ask her to leave. I think I've seen him cry more in the past week than in the entire duration of our relationship. Yuri hardly ever cries. He rarely shows any emotions really strongly for that matter, regardless of how he's feeling inside, and it's difficult to see him in such a vulnerable state.

The nutritionist told me she's going to ask the doctor to make a referral to a psychologist for him. I already know he's not going to like that, and I’m predicting he'll cause a scene over it, but I do think it's a good idea for him to speak to someone.

That having been said, I can also empathize with his reluctance. At first, I didn't want to talk to the psychologist Dr. Sato referred me to either, but now I actually kinda like him. The initial referral was supposed to have been to talk about the emotional effects of my accident, but I told him I can get over that by myself, so we discuss other stuff instead. I've talked to him about the death of my dad and sister, the stress of being the main caregiver for somebody with a chronic illness, and the challenges of being an immigrant.

He says I'm psychologically healthy and that I don't need long-term therapy. I agree one hundred percent, but having someone objective to confess all my doubts and insecurities to has really helped me feel a lot better mentally. I'm happy to have that support, to go along with the support I'm getting for my physical recovery.

We'll see how it goes with Yuri and his psychologist. I'm envisioning hysterical outbursts, but I'm sure one of us will let you know what happens for sure.

Okay, I guess now it’s time to tell you about Seiji and what happened on Sunday afternoon.

I'd been with Yuri for the morning on Sunday. Mom and Julian picked me up around noon, just after Yuri's grandmother arrived to visit with him. She had Yuki with her as well, so it was probably a good thing I was leaving. According to Yuri, the energy of me and Yuki together in a room can sometimes be a bit overwhelming for other people. The last thing he needed was to deal with that.

Anyway, Mom, Julian and I had lunch at my favourite sushi bar, which was kind of chaotic because neither of them knows how to use chopsticks and even though I'm a chopstick wizard, I can't use them right now either. We all ate with our fingers, which earned us a lot of disapproving stares. I think people were mostly staring at me because I was picking up pieces of maki with the fingertips of both hands together, but I didn't care.

Back at home, stuffed to the brim with salmon, eel, rice and vegetables, I was ready for a nap on the couch and was not at all expecting my phone to ring. When it did, I was startled out of my drowsy stupor, and nearly fell off the sofa. Then, I recognized Seiji's number on the caller ID and all thoughts of napping suddenly dissipated like mist.

I tapped the 'answer' icon on my phone's screen, and didn't even bother with hello.

"Hinamori-san! Where the hell have you been?" I demanded. "Sakura and I have been trying to reach you for days, you know."

"We're not on a first-name basis now, Nelson-san?" was his testy response.

"Really, Seiji? You ghost me for days, and you're annoyed with me?"

"Sorry.”

"Yeah, you should be."

"I wasn't ready to talk," he said. "I went out to the country, to my grandparents' estate, 'cause I just needed to get away for a while."

"What for?" I asked. "And why didn't you tell Masao you were going? Why didn't you tell Takahiro and Fox? Like, how do you leave town without even telling your best friend and his boyfriend?"

"I headed out when Taka was at work," Seiji confessed. "I left him a note."

"You... No, you know what? Never mind," I said. "Why did you need to get away. Did something happen?"

"Did something happen?" he repeated, his tone incredulous. "Dude, are you kidding me right now? How are you even asking that? Like, what do you think happened?"

"I... don't know." I said, perplexed.

"You're so stupid, Victor.” He sounded as though he meant it.

I did my best to force down the familiar sting of humiliation at hearing that. Kids at school used to call me stupid, and it’d always made me feel horrible. My inner child wanted to cover his ears and hide under the nearest desk so he could cry without drawing even more ridicule.

But then, a little voice in my brain that sounded very much like Sayuri Ishida's seemed to whisper, that's not true.

It really isn't true, and I need to keep reminding myself of it. Dr. Ishida had put that monster from my past to rest, once and for all, and I used her words like a shield in my mind. You have an eye condition called hyperopia. Your ability to read is normal. Your intelligence is above average.

“I’m not stupid,” I said, as calmly as I could manage. It was mostly for my own benefit, but still, I wasn’t interested In letting Seiji’s dig at me go so easily.

Seiji made a dismissive snorting noise. “Whatever. Must be the head injury, then.”

I pulled in a deep breath. "Seiji, listen. I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Can you please tell me what's going on? Me and Sakura and Masao have been worried about you.”

“Masao should know,” he said.

“Maybe, but Sakura and I don’t.”

Several seconds passed before Seiji finally spoke again. “Fine. I guess I owe you some kind of explanation. Can you… are you like, okay to go out? I don’t want to talk about it on the phone, but Taka said you’re in a wheelchair and…uh, you know…”

“I’m not in a wheelchair,” I said. “I had to use one for like, maybe three days after I got out of the hospital. That’s all.”

“So, you can go out?”

“Yeah, but you’ll have to come and get me if you want me to go somewhere with you. I’m not cleared to drive yet.”

"When's a good time?"

"Now? I'm not doing much, so whenever works for you, works for me."

"Okay," he said. "If you literally meant now, I can be there to pick you up in like, twenty minutes."

"That sounds good," I agreed. "That gives me plenty of time to grab some water and throw on a sweater."

You're at home, right?"

"I'm at home. See you when you get here."

He showed up about twenty-five minutes later, looking like he'd spent the week in a tent rather than living in luxury at his grandparents' sprawling country estate. His hair was a mess, there were dark smudges beneath his eyes, and he was moving like he was the one who was injured. He looked like he hadn't gotten more than a few hours sleep in the last several days.

"You look worse than I do," I commented, once we'd exchanged greetings.

"You look... surprisingly good," he remarked. He sort of nodded at my arms, where the bottom of my casts were peeking out past the ends of my slightly too-long sleeves. "You know, except for that."

"I'll be rid of these in a few more weeks."

"And then what? Back to the mountain?"

"Naturally," I said.

I couldn't interpret the expression that passed across his features. It didn't last long, but I hadn't missed it, and it could've been anything from disbelief to worry to disapproval. It could've been some combination of all three.

"Let's get going," he said, and although neither of us verbally acknowledged it, we both blatantly pretended the previous few seconds hadn't happened.

The car ride was weird. Normally, Seiji and I would be joking and laughing, listening to music a bit too loud, and talking about our favourite subjects. This time, we were silent, and the only sound in the car was Snowflake by Arashi, playing quietly on repeat.

Where we eventually ended up was in the valley, in Hanamigawa Park. The last time I'd been there was on Yuri's birthday, back in September. The park had been vibrant with colour then. Now, it was brown and grey and dismal, the last vestiges of winter not quite having given way to the tenuous first signs of spring.

We got out of the car, and I followed Seiji across the grass until we came to a bench.

"So...?" I prompted, after it felt like we'd sat there for at least five minutes, staring at our shoes.

"So, what?"

"About that explanation you owe me."

"Yeah." He scuffed the toe of his boot on the ground. "I've been thinking."

"About what?"

"I'm going to move to the city. Try to get a grown-up job. Maybe go back to college or something."

"What are you talking about?" I said. "Your job with the Recreation Association is a grown-up job. There's a lot of responsibility in teaching people how to ski and snowboard."

"It's not the kind of responsibility I want any more, if I ever did."

"What?"

"I quit," he said.

"You quit your job?"

"I quit everything."

At that, an awkward silence stretched between us for several seconds because I had no idea how to respond. I wasn't sure what he meant by 'everything'. I thought I could guess, but I didn't want to assume.

When the lull was starting to feel too long, I finally ventured, "Define 'everything'."

"Everything," he repeated. "I quit my job, I told Taka I'm moving out, and I'm hanging up my board. Masao already knows, so don't bother to ask if I've told him."

"You're not going to compete any more?"

"I'm not going to snowboard any more."

I stared at him. "Why?"

As if it were too difficult to hold my gaze, he looked away from me and began to fidget with his hands. "I can't do it any more," he said.

"But... why?"

"You know how people say the mountain is magical? That there's a guardian spirit?"

"Yeah."

"It's just a story," he said. "The mountain is nothing but a cold, dead rock, and it'll take everything from you with no regrets. With no feelings at all. I named my snowboard because, for some dumb reason, I let myself think it had some kind of spirit inside too, but you know what? It's just another lifeless object."

I had to admit that what he said was correct. From a purely factual standpoint, the mountain is rock and snow, and snowboards are just Fiberglas and wood or carbon, but I have to admit I like the idea of there being something more to them than that. I love the stories of the mountain spirit Yukimatsu and his beautiful sword Shirayuki, and I believe that Elsa is more than a piece of sports equipment. When Elsa and I are flying down the mountainside, I definitely feel something from her, and sometimes I imagine I can hear her singing.

"I thought you loved snowboarding," I said.

“Maybe I used to. Or maybe I still do, but it's like a toxic relationship that you can't seem to leave until it's almost too late. Like, you can't make yourself get out of it until it steals every last bit of hope and happiness you ever had."

"I don't understand," I said, because I really didn't.

"Do you know, I think I might've accidentally hurt Masao, trying to get to you when I saw you go down?" he said. "You know how tiny he is, and he was trying to hold me back."

"I didn't know," I said.

"If it wasn't for Fox, I probably would've..." He didn't complete the thought, but instead continued with. "Takahiro said I was literally screaming. The thing is, though, I don't remember. I don't remember Masao grabbing me, or me knocking him to the ground or... anything. All I could think was, you could be dying and the people you care about most wouldn't even be beside you."

"Obviously I didn't die."

"Yeah, but how were any of us supposed to know that at the time? You didn't see it the way we saw it. Masao said it looked like you could've broken your neck, and I... I couldn't handle losing somebody else like that."

It took a second for my brain to register what he'd just said. Somebody else. Had he seen another snowboarder go down like I had? Someone who hadn't been as lucky as me?

"Who...?" I began, but quickly closed my mouth because something told me I shouldn't pry.

But, it was too late to worry about it when Seiji started to answer anyway. "Didn't Yuri ever tell you about Tsubaki?"

I tried to recall if Yuri had ever mentioned anyone by that name. "I don't think so. Who is she?"

"I thought he told you everything," Seiji said.

"Apparently not."

"Tsubaki was our..." he trailed off, and then amended. "She was the woman I loved."

"Oh."

"She was our teacher in our final year of high school," he went on. "Me, Taka and Yuri were in the same class, so we all knew her. She wasn't that much older than us and most of the boys in our year had a crush on her, but for whatever reason, she liked me and Taka best. Maybe 'cause she was into snowboarding like we were."

"You went snowboarding with your teacher?"

"Not while she was our teacher," he said. "But, we all talked about it all the time, and we'd see her up on the mountain on the weekends."

I'd seen one of my high school teachers skiing on Granite Mountain once. It had felt strange and out of context to me, and I'd tried to pretend I hadn't even noticed him. But, regardless of my effort to ignore him, the rare sighting of my chemistry teacher outside his natural habitat had been enough to distract me, and it resulted in me getting yelled at by my coach at the time.

I'm sure I succeeded in forgetting about it almost immediately afterward, and I’d never even dreamed of bringing it up with him at school. I couldn’t help but winder what it would've been like to have a teacher like Tsubaki, who I could've geeked out about snowboarding with.

"Seems like she would've been a cool person to know."

"She was amazing," he said. "When we graduated, she said we could call her by her given name, and we became friends. We all used to hang out, me Taka, Yuri, Tsubaki and her best friend Mei. We went snowboarding together then, and we did other stuff like going on road trips or going to someone's place for a meal and to play games or watch movies. Or just talk. Tsubaki and I talked a lot."

"What happened?" I asked.

"With me and her?" he said. "She always told me that she didn't want to have a relationship with me, but towards the end, I felt like things were changing between us. She was starting to treat me less like a friend and more like... well, not a boyfriend exactly, but something deeper than snow buddies, you know?" He sighed. "Then everything... ended."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Yuri really never told you about any of this? He never told you about Tsubaki's accident? How she..." He paused, closing his eyes. "How the mountain took her from me."

It was at that point when I realized Yuri actually had told me. I hadn't made the connection immediately because he hadn't gone into detail and hadn't used Tsubaki's name, and I hadn't wanted to press him for information. "He mentioned he had a friend who died in a snowboarding accident," I said. "We didn't talk much about it."

That figures. Yuri wasn't that close to her anyway." He gave a little shrug. "Yuri doesn't know how to be close to people.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Are you saying he’s not close to you?” I asked.

“Dude, from where I’m standing, he’s not even all that close to you,” he said. “I mean, where the hell was he when you needed him? At work, and even when all of us were at the hospital with you and we were trying to call him, he ignored us. You know how many times Taka tried to reach him?”

“He was probably in a meeting,” I said.

“Why wasn’t he on the mountain with you? That’s where he should’ve been.”

"His job is important, Seiji. Besides, what happened probably would've happened anyway, even if he had been there.”

"That's not the point," Seiji said. "The point is, he doesn't care about anybody but himself. Why was it you and Sakura who were checking on me? He's supposed to be my friend."

"Sakura and I are your friends too," I reminded him. "Yuri couldn't check on you. He's been in the hospital since Tuesday."

"So what? He's too sick to send a text?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, he was." I met his gaze. "Are you seriously mad at Yuri because he didn't text you for a week?"

“I’m mad at him because he’s an asshole. Because he got someone he doesn’t appreciate or even deserve.”

“So, you’re not actually mad at him. You’re jealous.”

“Whatever,” he said. “I know you love him, but wouldn't it be better to love somebody who gives a shit about you? If you'd died out there, he would've just carried on with life as normal."

"No, he wouldn't," I said. "You obviously don't know him as well as you think you do, if that's what you believe."

"I know him well enough," he said. "I've never seen him shed a tear over anything or anyone. But you? You treat everybody like they matter, and you deserve at least that much in return."

"Everyone deserves to be treated like they matter because everyone does matter," I said. "Where are you even going with this?"

"You didn't have to come halfway around the world for Yuri. You could've stayed safe at home and had anyone you wanted.”

“I want Yuri,” I said simply.

"I don't know why. He's a crappy partner."

“Yuri loves me just as much as I love him, and he treats me like I matter," I said. "Maybe you’re convinced he’s a crappy partner because he wasn’t where you thought he should be, but that’s not how it works. We don’t get to script real life to our tastes. It just happens, and sometimes it sucks, and then we gotta figure out how to deal with it.”

“You think I don’t know that?"

"Do you?"

"My life has sucked for the last three and a half years," he declared. "Worse than yours, probably.”

“My life doesn't suck," I said. "There are parts of it that suck. Like, everything's not always easy or fun, but overall it's good, and I'm happy."

"Then, you're delusional." He got up abruptly and started to walk away. "This was a waste of time."

Stunned by the suddenness of his decision to leave, I stared at his retreating figure for several seconds. When I pulled my wits back into place at last, I had to run — contrary to doctor’s orders — to catch up to him.

"Seiji, wait!" I called. "We're not done."

He glared at me. “Yes, we are.”

"You said you were going to give me an explanation."

"I did. It's not my fault that you're too dumb to figure it out."

That was the precise moment in which I lost my temper. I think that if I could've grabbed him and shook him, I would have, but maybe it was a good thing I couldn't.

"I'm not dumb!" I yelled. "I'm sick and tired of everyone saying I'm stupid! I'm probably smarter than you, but I'm not a damn mind reader, so if you want me to understand something, then explain it in a way that makes sense!"

"Fine!" he said. "You want it in language your brain can handle? Here it is. I'm done pretending I'm okay. I don't want to be in this place, hanging around with people who remind me how useless I am and how much I've lost. I don't want to be on that damn mountain every day, thinking of her."

“But—”

"I can't keep running the risk of putting my parents through what her parents had to go through. What I had to go through. It's not worth it. I'd rather have nothing myself than to leave my family with nothing."

"But, there's lots of other stuff—" I began.

“There isn't," he said. "Snowboarding was the only thing I was good at. I’ve failed at everything else. Like, I was rubbish in school, and I was useless as a medic. I couldn’t even…”

“What?”

“There was only snowboarding, but you know what? Snowboarding fucking wrecked my life, Victor! There's no part that it didn't touch, and I can't fix anything now. All I can do now is protect the people I love, and try to forget it."

By the time he was done with this speech, he was crying. Evidently not wanting me to see that, he wiped his sleeve across his eyes so fiercely that I'm sure it must've hurt.

"Seiji—"

"Leave me alone," he said.

“You’ll never forget, you know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You can go to the city if you want,” I said. “You can go to the other side of the world or a whole other planet, but you're never gonna outrun grief or anger or whatever. You might think you feel better for a while but there's really no place far enough away to escape from it."

"What the hell would you know about it?"

"You might be surprised by what I know about it," I told him. "But I'm not gonna give you a lecture. If you’re not ready, you wouldn't listen anyway.”

"I doubt you know about it like I do," he said.

"Maybe not exactly in the same way you do," I conceded. "But, you know what? I get what it's like when somebody who was the center of your world suddenly isn't there any more."

There was a lot more I could've said. I wanted to tell him I know what it feels like to think about someone every single day and picture how the future might've been different if they were still around. I often wonder about all the stuff Dad and Caroline and I might've said to each other, and all the ways I could've been a better person when they were alive, and how they'll never know what i learned because of them, and who I became because of them.

Tears were still leaking from Seiji's eyes, but he wasn't trying to hide them any more. As I watched, he stood there with his head bowed and whispered, "I couldn't save her. No one could."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

He shook his head, but regardless of that, he started telling me anyway. "It was just a normal Saturday," he said. "I was working with Mountain Patrol, and my team got the call about an accident up on the expert run. I didn't know it was her until we got there. The advanced care paramedic on our team took one look at her and somehow he knew right away that her neck was broken. It was really bad."

"That had to have been a shock."

"They took her in a helicopter down to the hospital in the valley." He went on as if I hadn't spoken. "You know, to assess her and try to stabilize her. They might've rushed her to one of the big hospitals in Kyoto afterwards, but... there wasn't time. Her parents were in Tokyo, and there wasn't time for them to get here, either. Me and Taka were the only ones with her, and I don't know if she was aware of us being there, but I was holding her hand when she passed."

"I'm sorry," I said.

I thought about my mom. I hadn't found out until many years later that she'd been with my dad in the hospital when he passed and had been able to say goodbye to him one last time. Caroline had been killed almost instantly, so Mom didn't get that final goodbye with her, and I can't decide if that was a blessing or not.

I mean, I can't wrap my head around how terrifying and soul-shattering it'd be to hold your baby as she took her last breath. Watching your partner die would be devastating enough, but losing a child...? And my mom had to suffer through both. The pain she felt must've been immeasurable, making even mine seem minor in comparison.

I don't know how she handled it. I don't know how she survived it. I think if something happened to take Yuri away from me, I'd die too, of a broken heart. Or maybe I wouldn't literally die, but I'd wish to stop existing if he wasn't by my side.

I had to resist the urge to hug Seiji as he stood there crying. His whole body was visibly rigid, and I knew he wouldn't want me to touch him. Takahiro probably would have if he were there, but Taka the compulsive hugger could get away with it and Seiji might even relax enough to reciprocate. In fact, Taka is the only person I've ever seen give Seiji a hug that didn't look unnatural or uncomfortable. Had Seiji always been that way, or had his trauma caused him to change?

He swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I shouldn't have told you all that."

"It's okay. You must've needed to say it."

"Maybe. It was just... that thing you said. About somebody being the center of your world? She was, you know. She would've been, for the rest of our lives. I would've taken care of her, and I think we would've been happy, but... None of that's gonna happen now."

"Have you ever talked about this with anybody before?" I asked.

"Only Taka," he said. "He's the only one who understands. Everybody else thinks it's ridiculous 'cause we weren't even in a relationship."

"A friendship is a relationship. So what if you weren't her boyfriend? That doesn't mean it should hurt less."

"You don't think I'm like, being dramatic or whatever?"

"Why should I think that?" I said. "I don't have the right to tell you how you're supposed to feel or what your grief is supposed to look like, do I? Maybe you're like Yuri and you hardly ever cry for anything, no matter how destroyed you feel, or maybe you're like me and you cry over every little thing, or maybe you're somewhere in between. It doesn't matter. It's all valid."

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me for letting you feel however you feel."

"Yeah, I do. Most people would judge me for it."

"I'm not into judging other people for their feelings," I said. "I've got plenty of my own that I'm busy judging myself for."

"You shouldn't. Like, if you can tell me my feelings are okay, you can tell yourself that."

I offered him what was probably a lopsided smile. "I'm working on it. My psychologist says I have to stop creating burdens for myself."

"You're seeing a therapist?"

"Yeah. Unbelievable, right? My doctor referred me to him after my accident, but we've been talking about everything. He's helping me get perspective."

"Perspective," Seiji repeated, as if he were contemplating it.

"You know," I said. "Like how some stuff in your life seems so big and overwhelming, you don't know how you're supposed to deal with it? Sometimes you have to break the situation down and manage it bit by bit."

"Like learning a trick," he said.

"Exactly. Remember when you first learned to ride? There were probably lots of people around you doing all kinds of crazy tricks, and you couldn't even do an ollie yet. Now, you're the one who's flying, but you had to build up to it, one skill at a time."

"So, how am I supposed to do it?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe start off with figuring out what's really going on in your head. Like, are you sad or angry or scared, or what? And then... I don't know. Ask yourself exactly why. Like, if you're angry at a specific person, or you're scared about a certain thing."

He nodded. "I guess that makes sense. But... do you think I need professional help for that?"

"Maybe? I'm probably the last person you should ask about that. I didn't even know I needed professional help until I was getting it."

"But, it's working, right?"

"Yeah, but it's not magic. You have to want to get your shit together before you can get your shit together, and you have to work at it."

"Good to know."

"Listen," I said. "Everything's gonna be okay. It may take a while, and it might not look exactly how you wanted it to, but it eventually does get better."

"Thanks."

This time, I could feel my smile in my entire face. "You're welcome, but give credit to Yuri, too. He taught me that."

"Yuri taught you optimism?"

"He taught me about resilience," I said. “That’s better than optimism.”

“How so?”

"’Cause it’s realistic. And it’s honest.”

“I see how optimism can be unrealistic.”

“Resilience is sort of like body armour,” I said. “Having it on doesn't mean nothing ever hurts you. Sometimes it hurts like hell, but you get through it and you survive, and eventually the pain isn’t so bad any more. Yuri's constantly showing me that, whether he realizes he is or not."

"Okay," was all he said in response.

He started walking again, in the direction of the park gates. I fell into step beside him, and the quiet between us this time didn't feel quite so fraught.

When we reached the place where we'd left his car, I asked, "What are you going to do now?"

"Take you home, I guess," he said.

"I meant in general."

"Oh." He shrugged. "I don't know. I'm going to Kyoto tomorrow. I've got a couple of appointments to view apartments. Do you want to come?"

"So, you're definitely moving?"

"I guess so."

"What kind of job do you think you'll get when you move there?"

"Does it matter?"

"Not really," I said. "I was just curious."

"I'll probably end up in a convenience store," he said. "But, I was training to be a paramedic before, so I might be okay at taking care of sick people at home or something. And I like kids, so maybe I'd do all right working in a daycare. Or tailoring. I learned how to draft patterns and sew from my mother, so I could probably do that."

"I didn't realize you were training to be a paramedic. When you said 'medic' before, I thought you meant you had the certified mountain rescue course. The advanced first aid one."

"I do have that certification," he said. "But, I was in college for paramedicine. After she... after Tsubaki died, I dropped out because couldn't handle it any more."

"How far did you get?"

"Not very far. I finished the first in-class module, and Mountain Patrol was my first part-time clinical placement. That was it." He made a face that might've been self-disgust. "Useless, right?"

"Not necessarily," I said.

"What?"

An idea was starting to form in my head, but I didn't want to say too much to Seiji until I'd had a chance to talk to Yuri about it first. "You think you could drop me off at the hospital instead of at my house?"

"I'll drop you off anywhere you want," he said. "But, what'd you mean?"

"About you quitting college?"

"Yeah."

"There might be more options for you than snowboarding or working in some dodgy convenience store in the city."

"Right."

"I'll come with you to Kyoto tomorrow," I said.

He frowned at me. "You've got some kind of ulterior motive, don't you?"

"Maybe."

"You're trying to convince me not to move."

"No, I'm not trying to do that. If you want to check out the opportunities in Kyoto, there's no reason not to. All I'm saying is that you might want to go there with something better in mind than working at a convenience store. Like, if you're serious about home care or child care, maybe try it out and see if you like it before you take off to the city and commit yourself to a lease and everything."

"You think I should do that in Mt. Komorebi?"

"Think of it as a safety net," I said. "Stay home for a bit longer, try some different stuff and find out what you really want. Then go off and chase your dream, whatever it is."

"What if I really don't want to stay here?" he said.

"Nobody can force you to stay. All I'm saying is, before you leave, make sure you're deciding and not just reacting."

"Okay," he said. "But I still feel like you're up to something."

"I'll tell you about it tomorrow," I said.

"I'm not going along with it, whatever it is."

"You don't have to go along with it, but you should at least wait to hear what it is."

He drew back his arm as if he were going to punch me, but only flicked my shoulder instead. "You're a massive pain in the ass, you know."

"Yeah," I said. "I hear that a lot, but for some reason, people love me anyway."

"I hate you," he growled, but I knew he wasn't being serious. "Get in the car, Nelson. Wouldn't want to keep you from your pain in the ass other half."

"You didn't really mean what you said about him before, did you?"

If I was expecting an apology or a retraction, I would've been disappointed.

“Some of it,” Seiji said. “He is an asshole, and you seriously could've done better, but if you're happy..." He raised his hands in a gesture that seemed to indicate there was no further comment he could offer. "Anyway, you can tell him I'll come by and see him in a day or two. I'll make Taka and Fox come too, if they haven't been there yet, and I'll bring daifuku mochi. The strawberry kind."

"He's not eating," I said.

"Since when has Yuri ever said no to strawberry mochi? Me and Taka have literally seen him too weak to sit up, and he’d still be lying there demanding a little bite of our strawberry mochi. It's his all-time favourite. That, and tinned peaches, but they're probably already on the lunch menu at the hospital."

"How do you—"

"Just tell him," Seiji said, "And tell him I'll even feed him if he needs me to. Oh, and also tell him to expect a huge piece of my mind for what he did to you. He had no business abandoning you like that, and he definitely has no business taking you for granted. Actually, having somebody as devoted to his pathetic little ass as you are, he should consider himself the luckiest person in the universe."

I didn't show it on the outside, but inwardly, I was both relieved and amused. It might not be an apology, but I figured this was as close as Seiji would get to saying he still considers Yuri his friend.

Even if I hadn't liked hearing what he'd said about my husband, I couldn't blame Seiji for being upset. From Seiji's point of view, maybe Yuri's behaviour after my accident had looked horrible and uncaring, but Seiji hadn't seen him in my room with me immediately after. He hadn't heard the pain and guilt in Yuri's voice when he told me over and over that he was sorry, and he hadn't seen how hard Yuri worked to help me at home when he really should've been resting himself.

"I'll tell him," I said. "I think he'll be glad to see you."

"Yeah, whatever." He opened the passenger door for me, and I climbed into the car. A moment later, he slid into the driver's seat. "I'm leaving for Kyoto at eight in the morning. You'd better be up and dressed when I get to your place."

"Don't worry," I assured him. "I'll be ready."

((More about Seiji & Tsubaki from a different perspective, for anyone curious))

[the-chubby-berry]

(This is a little story that I created with one of @encouraging-growth's characters. More specifically his tailor character, Adam Pose. Hope y'all enjoy) It was near closing time at the Berry Bean and Missy Berry was starting to do her usual closing routine when she heard someone enter the cafe. “What a pleasant and quaint place you have here Missy. A shame I haven’t visited sooner.” Missy perked up hearing that familiar voice. “Mr.Adam Pose! Fancy seeing you here on the outskirts of town. Much less here in my store.  It is near closing time but for someone like you whom I can not thank enough times, I can stay open a little longer. Please go have a seat, I can only imagine how long and tiresome your day was. The place over by the fireplace is open. Don’t worry I should have big enough chairs over there. Don’t be afraid if any of the cats jump on you. They are all friendly.”

 As Adam sat down, a large orange cat pounced right into his lap. He was startled at the sudden intrusion by the furry friend but it was a welcome one. The cat curled up on his lap right next to his hefty belly and purred loudly. “Oh my, it seems like you have a bad case of purr-aylsis. Sam is quite notorious for giving my patrons the unforgiving condition” she teased as she started to make the dear tailor some tea and treats.

As she brought over what she made, they noticed that Adam seemed… distant. Missy cared about her regulars and while this was Adam Pose's first time at her cafe, she still felt a sort of bond between them due to the sessions she had at his shop to help with clothing. “Here you go. Some spiced cherry tea and a few treats.” “Thank you, dear.” He said reaching for his wallet to pay for the food. She stopped him. “It's on me tonight.” 

A lengthy period of silence happened between them. The crackling of the fire and the gentle purrs of the numerous felines of the café echoed in the mostly empty store.

Missy was the first to break the silence betwixt them. “You seem a bit blue hon. I should know a thing or two about people being blue considering I'm infamous for it” she quipped, in an attempt to get a laugh. Adam let out a weary chuckle, keeping his hands busy with the cat in his lap. “It's nothing Missy. Just a little tired”. 

Missy scowled and crossed her arms. Speaking with an underlying tone of concerned mother “Sir Adam Pose I know “Just Tired”. You aren't just tired. Something is going on.” She sighed, taking a seat across from him. “Look we don't need to push the issue but I can tell something is up. I have heard through the grapevine about some of your past. I am not sure if any of it's true but if it is, it's clearly weighing you down. Not just that by the look of your hands, it might be affecting your work. You haven't exactly been known to mess up your work easily yet I see many bandages on your hands today.” 

He sat there silently, his hands no longer busy with Sam, who was nudging his hand. He hid his hands in his pockets not wanting anyone else to see. Sam sadly meowed. He stayed in Adam’s lap just to be a comforting presence.

“I'm performing just… fine… Not a lot of new clients but who needs them anyway. Who cares if I'm losing clients? I am not the only tailor in town so they probably found someone who hasn't had as many damned screw-ups.” 

Missy sat there and listened as he talked. Sam was nuzzling up against him as well. After Adam was done expressing himself, Missy stood up and gave him a big hug. Taking her seat once more, she sternly spoke to him “Listen here you lovely bastard, I do not care what is spread about you. You are a good man Adam. No matter what your past was, that's what it is, the past. The clients that leave, they do not care about you. They care about the flashy outfitter who gets flirty with them. Not the man who is human and has a deep passion for his work. Even if there are other tailors out there, I would not trust any of them with my garments except you. You're the only one that has such ambition and care. Especially for us bigger folk. I can't think of people who do your kind of work. You're not just another tailor. You are Adam Pose, the Tailor of Supple Row.” 

Adam blushed and smiled a little hearing that. “Aww, there's that smile I know you for and is that a blush? Here I was thinking you were the master of cherries. But you're blushing just about the same shade as a maraschino. I didn't even put anything in your tea to turn you into one. Though I will say, you would make quite the handsome and delectable one. Though perhaps a black cherry may be more your style don't you think?” she teased. He laughed a little. “Perhaps you're right darling. But not today. I still got many commissions to do.” Missy playfully pouted. “Aww, that's no fair. Can't you just take tomorrow off? The cats could always use someone to warm up against.” “Yes, I'm sure” She laughed “Okay, okay, I’ll let you go, Adam.” Sam leaped off of his lap and disappeared into the back with the other cats. Missy gave Adam one last embrace before allowing him to leave the coffee shop.

When he got back he noticed he had a card in his pocket when he went to go reach for the key to his store. “Hmm? When did this get here?” He opened it. Attached to the card were two buttons shaped like fruits. One was a blueberry and the other a black cherry. He grinned as he read the card. “You're welcome to be at the Berry Bean anytime Adam. Don't be a stranger!”

[housedeaubemarle]

By Way of an Apology: Part 4

A follow up to The Grand Hunt - the Losstarot lords and the Aubemarle twins go on a picnic.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

(Written with @escherstrange-ffxiv who probably wasn't anticipating a day trip to turn into a 2D1N thing, but here we are!)

~*~

A night full of cricket songs and frog croaks passes peacefully. Dawn brings equally strange sounds Oudine hasn't even thought of in years: birds. They twitter and trill, greeting the sun as it glides above the horizon. It is enough to rouse the sleeping Elezen, hazily wondering where she is and what is all the noise about and this doesn't feel right. Why doesn't it feel like her bedroom?

She blinks, as memories and senses come back to her slowly. She's in the Shroud, in Fallgourd Float, in the Bobbing Cork. Her cousins are in another room. Her brother…

Oudine sighs. He didn't knock last night - it would have been easy enough to ask where her room was - and she wonders if that's a good or bad sign this time. She turns her head to look at the curtained window; the pale light of early morning peeps through. Soon it will be time to go. 

Soon though, not just yet. She takes her time to get out of bed, wash up and dress in a new linen shirt under yesterday's outer garb. She brushes her dark brown hair, now flowing loose, pondering if she could ever match Eddy's skill. It takes but an instant to decide she could never. So she gathers her hair into a simple, loose braid and ties the lace ribbon at the end. It will have to do.

Stepping out of her room quietly, Oudine finds a passing employee to discreetly ask where the privy might be. After that needful visit, she wanders downstairs to the main hall. None of her party is to be found. 

It is still rather early, she decides. So she strolls outside, and is instantly charmed by the fresh scent and air of forestry. It is vastly different from the frosty breezes of home, and yet – strangely – familiarly comforting in a way she cannot place. She stands by a railing, filling her lungs with the balmy air of the Shroud, marvelling at its quality. Birdsong floats above her, completing the atmosphere. 

So taken is she by this new experience that it takes the sounds of footsteps and conversations of a passing group of adventurers to jolt her. The mild concern for her brother returns. Perhaps he'd gone to their cousins’ room after all.

Oudine reenters the inn, and inquires at the counter. Luckily the staff remember the sole woman within the group of Elezens which had irritated, then cajoled their cook into special dishes. So it isn't long before she stands before the Losstarots’ room door and knocks twice. 

“Is anyone awake?” she asks, trying to modulate her voice so she doesn't disturb guests in the other rooms.

~*~

Men sleep deeply; birds, less so.

Wil squeezes his eyes tightly to tune out the knocking, but the Losstarots only possess mortal stamina and are still sleeping soundly.  He yawns loudly, swinging his legs over the bed, careful not to wake up his love, and shuffles to the door clad in only a pair of breeches to cover his modesty.

For all his foibles, William Corvus is a human and a crow. Not one or the other, but both. So while it is mean-spirited to call Wil a bird brain, it is simply a word that describes him best when he forgets to glam over his wings and opens the door to greet Oudine.

Wil yawns, smooths his hair down and smiles. "Ah, Miss Oudine! How kind of you to visit, neither one is awake yet - at least it looks like they aren't. Or- oh! You're looking for Remont, yes? I don't think he came back, I would've heard it."

Throughout his rambling a large pair of feathery black wings flaps oh-so-slightly behind him.

“Go- what are you doing!”

It is likely due to Oudine's upbringing that the first shriek of surprise is because of an almost naked Wil opening the door. She may have had a brother running round the Aubemarle manor for half her life but that is Remont. Remont in just breeches is a very different case from this.

This is… 

Wait. Wait. This is-

A blush fast-spreading across her face, Oudine's eyes widen as they look upwards, beyond Wil's ears, right to the large, unmistakable and what looks like very real, honest to goodness, wings.

This is a dream. I'm still in bed, supplies her mind, in an attempt to control the alarm coursing through her entire body. 

Then the black feathers rustle, just like those on her Chocobo, and the ones at Marlstone.

‘...particularly proud of the time I swooped into the water and reaching out just at the right time…’

‘Izzy saved my life so I simply go where he goes.’

‘Hi, I'm Wil.’

“You're the crow-?!” 

That second shriek escapes her instinctively. She claps her hand over her mouth, staring in shock for one more second. 

There may well have been plenty of people who would have handled this turn of events with aplomb. 

Oudine is not among them. She turns and runs.

~*~

Joshua wakes at the first scream. He blinks the sleep from his eyes to be greeted with an eyeful of black wings.

That wakes him immediately.

He  practically leaps from the bed, reaching the door under three large strides and slamming the door shut. "Wil, your wings!"

"I'm the cr- oh Joshua, Oudine here is looking for- hm? What about my wings?" He turns his head to the point on his back that Joshua is frantically pointing at. "...oh. Oh no." He shakes Isillud up. "Izzy, Izzy! You gotta wake up! We got an emergency!"

"Oudine saw Wil's wings, Izzy!"

Now Isillud cannot ignore the onslaught on both his ears, turning around and getting an eyeful of bare chests and wings. His eyes widen some more.

"I'm so sorry Izzy, I wasn't careful, I was sleepy and-"

"Never mind that!" He rummages through the heap of clothes looking for his to wear. "Wil, make sure Oudine doesn't leave the Bobbing Cork until either Joshua or I catch up to her!" 

Wil salutes, "On it!" and then jogs to the open window, getting ready to jump.

Joshua flings a shirt at him, which Wil deftly catches before falling out backwards, leaving a trail of falling feathers. "Oi, at least get dressed!" Amidst a flurry of rustling fabric and blame ("I told you this would happen sooner or later!") The boys get dressed and halfway presentable before rushing out and going separate ways: Joshua towards the dining room, Isillud to the entrance. 

Wil gets a bird's eye view of the compound; seeing no one running about he figures everyone has to leave by the entrance, and the crow lands right in front: feet apart, beady black eyes scanning passersby for her.

He is far swifter than Oudine’s clumsier, highborn legs. She’s only halfway thudding down the stairs when she hears the rush of air, a burst of movement and looks up to see a dark bird standing at the entrance with an intention to… she’s not entirely sure, but he looks ready to do something. 

Panic - blind, irrational panic - sends her fleeing back up the stairs. Her braid comes loose, the lace ribbon fluttering away behind her. The only thing she can think of now is her room. She speeds towards it, slams the door shut, locks it, and slides down it on the inside, breathing heavily. 

What sort of magic is this?? What magic turns a man into a bird? Or a bird into a man!?

As soon as the question hits her, there is a very brief moment of terrible doubt. Then she shakes her head frantically. No, no. For any number of reasons, despite all this weirdness, they are not. They have never been; they were absolved, and thus cannot be. Crows are not dragons. 

And he'd sung for the crowd. He'd been puzzlingly captivating. He loves Izzy. Izzy wouldn't let anything happen. Joshua wouldn't let anything happen.

The slow beat of convictions, one after another going round in a circle, arrests the panic. Oudine’s breathing begins to slow, though she remains sitting on the floor against her door, dazed. 

~*~

Oudine U-turns to her room faster than Wil can catch her. To other people it looks like a crow chasing down an elezen woman, chastising her for an offence. Wil doesn't make it to her room, so he stands outside it, cawing softly as if politely asking her to come out, he won't hurt her, he swears.

Isillud brakes on his heels when he hears cawing, slowly tracing his steps until he sees Wil in front of a door. He picks up the crow to meet his eyes and speaks to it. "She's here?"

"Caw!"

Wil hops to her shoulder; Isillud takes a deep breath and knocks gently. Once, twice. "Oudine, it's me, Izzy. I apologise for startling you, but we need to talk." A pause. "...When you're comfortable to do so."

The knocks make her start - she's been so preoccupied in her own head, she hasn't heard Wil's cawing. Izzy's soft voice reminds her it is not done to make someone stand outside a locked door to have a conversation. And there is absolutely a need for conversation. 

She hesitates, then says, “Give me… give me a minute.”

Oudine slowly gets to her feet; her long hair falls around her, which can only be yet another sign she's lost all control over herself. She stares at the door - as if it can tell her what to do - takes in a breath, then opens it very tentatively. There is an involuntary step back when she sees the bird on Izzy's shoulder.

‘Be controlled. If you do not watch yourself, you will not learn to watch for others.’

She breathes in. The words her father had given her once become an anchor. 

“Come… come in.”

Isillud knows it is rude to stare, especially when a lady's hair is unkempt. Perhaps not the most subtle but he says it only for her ears, "...The current trend for Gridanian women is a single high ponytail, tied at the back."

Just then someone climbs the stairs heavily - it is Joshua, still looking around for his next destination to search. Isillud saves him the trouble by waving him over then pressing a finger to his lips. Discretion is vital to a distressed woman. 

"Did you find her- oh." 

While she did invite him in, he waits at the threshold for her to prepare herself.

The bewildered fear that has been thrumming through her for at least ten minutes immediately slams itself into confusion. Then she realises what he means.

The confusion twists into exasperation. Of all times to be told what to do with her hair. A man she had assumed was her cousin's paramour is also his pet bird, morphing at apparent will - and she's being told what the fashionable hairstyle is in this part of the world.

“Thank you, but I seem to have lost my ribbon anyway,” she says, a little stiffly. Though she does gather her hair and smooths it down behind her ears so she doesn't look a complete fright. 

She spies Joshua behind; the exasperation dissipates, becoming hesitation again. “Come inside. Anyone could have heard me.” She walks further in without waiting, seating herself on a chair. She doesn't cross her arms, but holds herself in a sort of loose hug.

Her grey eyes hold a storm of emotions, but for the most part, it is apprehension and confusion.

"Would you like Wil to…to find your ribbon..." The bird waits for an answer.

Joshua looks at his brother with no small amount of incredulity but says nothing. Oudine looks stressed enough.

Her inner resources have never known a more trying time, not even in the face of other nobles who are entirely more arrogant, self-serving and infinitely ruder than Izzy currently is being. No lesson in etiquette or protocol or even a meeting in the House of Lords is the match of Isillud Losstarot. Would even her mother know what to do or say at this time?

She stares at him in disbelief for a minute.

“I…” The consternation collapses as she drops her face in her hand in defeat. “Yes. Please. And while he does, please tell me what's going on.”

Isillud speaks very softly to his crow, "...trace…entrance…" and off it flies. 

Joshua looks between them, decides this is something his brother should speak privately about, and leaves with a soft click of the door. "I'll wait outside in case Remont returns."

Meanwhile Isillud racks his brain the entire time. How does he start? Where does he even start? With Joshua out of earshot he is free to tell the whole story if he so chooses, but is it even wise to?

Eventually he settles on answering her question. Just the facts, she doesn't need to know everything else that lead to this. He sits at the edge of her bed, clasping and unclasping his hands. 

"Wil is half-crow fae, which means he can switch between forms when he wishes. I discovered his true name after a series of incidents, which bonded him to me." Silvery-white hair in need of a haircut falls over his face as he looks at the floor. "Wil doesn't lie and he meant no harm with his actions, but he can be a little…" Pause. "...flighty." 

Isillud looks back up at her. "...I'm sorry you had to find out this way." He does seem to regret the incident, at least on his face.

She had looked up when Izzy began his explanation in his soft-spoken way. Her fingers are curled against her mouth, while she leans on her knees, listening.

Half-crow… fae. A faerie. He said he comes from a kingdom, long lost. 

Everything about his words to his demeanour to his outfit clicks into place; it relieves her to find a measure of familiar territory. For in her childhood, there had been plenty of such tales, bound between whimsical covers. Fae folk, who were tricksy, playful, whose names were so important they were a means of control. To know a faerie's real name is to have their life in your hand.

Stories for children… come true.

Oudine gazes at the regret written across his face and in his emerald green eyes. She looks at the way his hands move nervously.

A great secret this must have been. Not something to tell a relative whom one had only been acquainted with for just a few months. What good would it have done for her to know anyway? Look at her reaction when she did find out (though to be quite fair, it had been two shocks in a row, not just one). Perhaps he would never have spoken of it if Wil hadn't opened the door - and that would have been a wise thing to do. But she knows now. 

There have never been so many surprises in her life before the appearance of the Losstarots. And since her father's sudden death, surprises have left a bitter taste in her mouth, though a part of her admits it doesn't really justify the screeching and running.

“...will whatever led you to him reoccur? Are you and he safe?” She asks at last, remembering old legends of two fae courts at war with each other since memory began. “He said… something about a Garlean.”

His brows furrow ever so slightly, staring at a point just above the tip of her ear. His mind flips through past events - of Gnaeus mal Ennius and his plotting that literally undid him, of a broken staff in splinters becoming one with the earth, and of holding Wil, watching and hoping he did not walk into the light.

Part of him scoffs at Oudine's question - what would she do if he said no? What can House Aubemarle, who could not protect their servants from a common thug, do against a mad Garlean and fae magicks? But he stops that thought in its tracks. Time has taught him of unlikely allies at unlikely times; House Aubemarle is one.

A soft smile curls the corner of his lips. He shakes his head. "No, it will not. It's over. We are safe."

Joshua knocks once before opening the door just enough for his voice to be heard, "Wil has your ribbon, Oudine."

“Thank you, Joshua. Please come in… both of you.”

Oudine looks down at the floor, thoughts settling at last. They are safe in this regard. She needn't fear magic from this avenue. There is now space for the implications of her undignified behaviour to present themselves in full. 

Faeries, she does not know; manners she does. And hers have been bad manners indeed.

“...may I be frank?” she says softly, though the shame in her voice is clear. “I asked, to know if I should fear for you. For me. For my house. So if you say all is done, then all is done. I will pry no further.

“I know not what else to add, but that I'm sorry for behaving the way I did. I am no adventurer. I have never really left my home, and the few times I did, I travelled in the protection of my family, my brother, and now you. It is a spoiled existence I lead. Of things beyond Ishgard, I read, and listen, and imagine – but clearly my imagination is limited.

“There is much I don't know, but my ignorance doesn't justify reacting so poorly to someone who has done me no harm.” She looks back up at Izzy, the tone now more sober but still softly spoken. 

“You have my silence. I doubt anyone would believe me even if I wanted to tell them. Except maybe Remont. But I will not speak of this even to him if you say so.”

Isillud Losstarot is awash with shame: in a single confession she lays bare her concerns for her house. She will prevail, he is certain. Discretion and honour always wins, and so she will.

"You have nothing to apologise for. Anyone would be shocked in your situation." A brief thought amuses him, "As eccentric as adventurers are, we do not have wings. Even Wil's would prompt a few to attack him." He continues. "It's not that I mind telling Remont, but I think he has figured some of it out on his own. Your telling him will simply confirm his suspicions."

He bites his lower lip. "I once put Wil in danger because I did not realise the value of his name. Your assurance is more thought than I put in back then." He bows from his seat. "Thank you."

There is much grace and gentleness in the way Izzy offers his reassurances and his thanks. It warms Oudine within, and she finally smiles. 

“You're very kind, you know. All of my household calls you that.”

Isillud can only smile at her comment. Perhaps he only pays forward the kindness he was showed, who can say?

The Wil that enters could be mistaken for a sheepish country bumpkin of an elezen; he peers in, taking a slow step at a time, ribbon loosely entwined between his fingers. "Sorry for scaring you, Oudine. It was an accident, I really don't show my wings in this form."

She turns to the door as Wil comes in, and the smile grows. Now that she isn't so blindsided, she can picture Izzy's crow in the sheepish way he moves, in his stance. And the charm from yesterday still exists even in his hesitance; she imagines it would be quite hard to remain angry at him. Startled, and bemused perhaps, but not angry.

She stretches out her hand towards him, palm upwards in an inviting way. “I'm sorry to you as well. You didn't deserve me screaming at you like that. Thank you for finding my ribbon.”

Wil bows gallantly, presenting the ribbon to Oudine like a trophy. "Don't worry, getting yelled at like that is no big deal - why, when I was under mal Ennius he-" A gentle tug from Isillud prompts him to stop. "-anyway I've had worse. No worries." Wil waves it off with a beaming smile. If he were a crow he would have gently head butted her by now.

~*~

Outside, Joshua leans against the door frame, waiting for Remont, though not for much longer as light footsteps resound across the wooden floor. From round the corner, the tall figure of Oudine’s erstwhile twin emerges. 

Wherever he’s been doesn’t seem to have affected his cheery nature since he looks as fresh as he did the previous morning. At least his face does; his clothes are certainly not as crisp and neat as they had been, with the waistcoat hanging loose and one button of his linen shirt looser. In one hand is a bunch of bright purple flowers, wrapped in paper at the ends.

He’s surprised to see his cousin in front of the room he’d been told had been given to ‘the young lady with the grey eyes’. Still, he smiles in greeting. 

“Well met, cousin. Apologies for leaving you all so suddenly last night.” He glances at the door. “I assume you’re waiting for Dine?”

Joshua un-leans from the door, straightening his own dishevelled waistcoat and shirt (their clothes had been worn in a rush after all, though for much different reasons than Remont). "No trouble done, in fact you saved us the cost of an extra room." He eyes the door and pulls it closer. "Indeed, she had some trouble with her…hair. How's your new friend, by the way?"

Remont’s smile is crooked. “Touche. They’re well enough; there were no regrets.” He does the opposite of Joshua, leaning against the wall. “Is my sister very angry that I left? She hates it when I do this. Hence…” he gestures with the flowers in his hand.

"If she is, she has done a fine job of hiding it," Joshua replies, crossing his arms and leaning back against the door frame. "I think she's doing her hair."

~*~

Wil tilts his head at her hair. "Would you like me to help you with that?"

Fist to mouth, Isillud finds the scenery outside the Bobbing Cork much more fascinating, Ixal or no.

Oudine eyes Wil with trepidation. Despite hearing Eddy’s voice in her head screaming no, she asks, tentatively, “You… you know how to dress hair?”

"Doesn't everyone?" Wil starts fluffing and spreading her hair out, looking for a brush. He parts the top of her head into a few locks and begins braiding. His fingers are surprisingly deft, weaving parts in and out and tying it together with her ribbon, then picking up her hair loosely curling it around his wrists before letting it all fall over her left shoulder. "Tada!" Wil does a little dainty clap, peering at his handiwork from a few angles. 

Isillud doesn't hide his awe as though he has discovered something new about Wil. "This is rather good."

"Of course! It's all the rage in Il Mheg."

"Really?"

"Sure it is!"

The grey elezen frowns, trying to recall. "I don't remember anyone with that hair."

"We'll go back there to confirm." Wil gives his partner a thumbs-up, reaching for the doorknob. "She's ready!"

~*~

“She hides well, yes,” is Remont's reply. The sound of Wil's voice makes his head snap up instantly, all languidness gone at the realisation there's a man in his sister's room. “What-” He springs up from the wall. 

The door opens just in time. Remont strides towards it and blinks. Inside is Izzy, sitting on the edge of the bed, Wil from last night beaming proudly and Oudine, standing up with an impeccable hairdo, a lock of her dark brown hair falling gracefully over her shoulder. From what he can see, it seems more intricate than usual, and flatters her face very well. 

Remont blinks again. “Dine?”

Her grey eyes, which had been directed at Wil with amusement, widen at the sight of him. There's an undercurrent of relief in her voice, below the surprise. “Rem!”

Remont looks at all the occupants of the room, Joshua still outside, then back at his sister. He isn't sure what circumstances would have led to them all gathered here, but decides to leave that for later.

He steps inside. “Joshua said you were fixing your hair. It looks very nice.”

“Thank you,” she says, then smiles at Wil. “It's all Wil's cleverness. It turns out our new friend has a talent for it.”

Remont smiles at the man, and bows. “Then thank you, sir, for aiding my sister.”

He turns back to Oudine, and holds out his flowers. “These will suit you, I think.”

She can't hide her surprise at the appearance of blooms then tilts a wry look at him. “Am I supposed to forgive you now for being so rude to us last night?”

Remont has at least enough grace to look somewhat embarrassed. “Sorry, Dine. Needed to walk someone home.”

“She must live a very long way from here then,” replies his relentless sister. 

He says nothing, appealing silently with what appears to be genuine remorse in his dark brown eyes.

Oudine sighs, taking the flowers from him. He'd even bothered to hunt down her favourite triteleias, so she asks, “did she at least know what you were about?”

“I promise you she did.” He smiles a little. “I'll give you the details later if you wish, Dine, but assuredly she did.”

She eyes him a minute longer then shakes her head. “I'm not the only one who should hear an apology.”

Remont looks ruefully at Izzy and Wil, and bows. “Quite right. My apologies, gentlemen; not the thing to disappear on everyone like that.”

Isillud smiles as if this isn't the first time he's seen Remont do this. "I do hope she was worth the trouble."

Wil puffs his chest like a crow would after it's completed a feat; quite similar to when he caught the fish, in fact. Seeing the flowers gives him more ideas. "Those would look beautiful in your hair like a crown, Oudine! Would you let me?"

Joshua looks at the chronometer on the wall. "I wonder what the skywatcher has to say about Ishgard today."

Remont coughs, looking at the same chronometer. “Probably snow and ice, cold as anything, the usual. Shall we get breakfast? I'm starving.” 

Oudine laughs softly at Wil's enthusiasm, and his suggestion. He really is charming.

“I would be honoured. Would you lend me Wil for awhile, Izzy? Since we leave the Twelveswood today, I fancy a flower crown would be a perfect souvenir. Perhaps the gentlemen can find breakfast for us in the meantime.”

Isillud gets up and bows to Oudine. "Would you like anything in particular for breakfast?"

Wil is already weaving a crown with the flowers, getting ready to stick some in her hair if needed.

Oudine thinks for a moment, glancing at Wil. 

Papa would certainly have liked you, she thinks. More so if he knew of your faerie origin. 

She doesn’t know why her father comes to mind so often today, but… maybe certain surprises needn’t be so bitter. She smiles at Izzy.

“Perhaps you could surprise me, and let me learn to try something new.”

Remont looks sideways at her, even as she is smiling at their cousin. Oudine hates surprises. He casts a questioning look at Joshua. 

Joshua shrugs, hooking his arm under Remont's elbow. "Let's go, I hear their buffet selection is particularly appetising this season." The brothers flank Remont as they escort him down.

The buffet at the dining hall lays out a variety of salads, with a small area for sliced meats and condiments and breads towards the end. Isillud  has no problem picking out a salad he likes and a croissant or two to go with it.

"Is it strange to see Oudine behaving as such?" Joshua asks Remont.

Remont ponders the question as he looks at the spread before him, picking out slices of fragrant breads first. His answer is low-voiced. 

“Change unsettles her, and makes her melancholy. You’d think the Calamity and the war would have made her at least more accepting of how change is inevitable, but not quite.” He spoons out dollops of strawberry jam, lingonberry jam and marmalade on his plate. “But she treasures people, like our late father. Change for the good of a person can be endured, even embraced.”

“Still, surprises are changes she cannot control. And that is difficult for her personally, as well as one in her position as the head of our house,” he continues, picking up slices of plain ham and those with herbs mixed into it. “I haven’t heard her say something like that since we were young.” He smiles, and there is regret in the expression. “I confess, I was one of those who taught her how to hate surprises, I think.” 

He looks at Joshua, pausing in front of the salads. “I am not as steady a brother as yourself, as I’m sure you’ve figured out by now. Quite a few unpleasant surprises did Dine experience extricating me from youthful mistakes.”

He goes back to selecting lettuce leaves and cherry tomatoes so he may go to their table with a full plate. “I’m not sure what happened before I arrived, but if just one night out of Ishgard has done this,” He chuckles. “Gods only know who my sister will become if she travels further.”

"I don't believe I know the cause of your father's death, only that he did." Joshua fashions the bread and meat into a sandwich. "How did it happen to shock Oudine so badly?" He gets a little slap on his shoulder from his brother for his question. "What?" he frowns. The question surely isn't that tasteless.

"Travel changes a person, Remont. I think you know this." Isillud has started eating his salad sandwich - being the convenient man he is, he has simply stuffed his salad into his sliced croissant and eats it whole. "Do you ever imagine what sort of person you'd be if you were forced to stay in Ishgard?"

Remont grimaces at Joshua’s question, but makes himself talk after a swallow of the coffee he’d picked up beside the salads. It's a valid query, and one he asks himself each time he thinks of it. The plate he put together remains untouched on the table.

His eyes are shadowed, while he stares at nothing. “We all woke up one morning, five years ago. He didn’t.” He inhales once. “We called healers and chirurgeons; even a representative of the Temple Knights was requested. All said his heart had stopped in the night, with no sign of foul play. Beside my mother, he’d slipped away in his sleep… and that was that.” 

He taps his finger on his cup absently. “We had no heart to investigate further; there were more urgent matters to attend to.” He looks up at the brothers, a small smile across his face. It has no humour in it, only sorrow. “You’ve met my mother. I wonder if you can imagine her… broken. For three years, that was all she was, while Dine and I picked up the pieces around us. I went to Tailfeather to scout for an opportunity, while she stayed as Viscount to pull on whatever string we still had, and we both put our mourning into our work. Things worked out eventually… but there were many difficult months.”

“...it would have been one thing if he were ill, or if we wielded staff or sword, and he’d died to an enemy’s blow,” he says, bending his head back to stare at the food. “But Viscount Vouloix was benevolent and beloved, and he kept his house in the same order. If his heart is what killed him, then perhaps it had just grown too large.”

He pauses for half a minute then shakes his head. “Forgive me. I know loss and grief are not strangers to you. But Dine has been the anchor of our house since his passing – not even my mother will disagree. It takes a toll on her even if she bears it well.” 

Remont seems to shake himself mentally as he takes another swig of coffee. Then he looks upwards at the ceiling. “As for what I’d be if I couldn’t leave Ishgard…” He smirks sardonically, and it is strange for such a cold expression to cross his face. “Unimaginable. I’d have either turned into a fiend or ended up dead, causing my family more grief. I’m glad for the city becoming open again, whether we’re ready or not.” 

He shrugs. “I certainly wasn’t when I went to Dravania. It was among the best things to happen to me.” He gives Izzy a warmer smirk, despite Joshua being right there. “Met you for one.” 

The brothers listen to Remont attentively as they head to a table to wait for Oudine, eating silently until Remont finishes. Even after that they look at the table, their chewing slows to a stop.

"It must not have been easy," Isillud finally breaks the ice. "All those loose ends to tie and sort out. Your house is extremely blessed to have such a capable heir in Oudine. It is only our luck that our affairs were sorted out by the church."

"If it can be called such," Joshua mutters into his orange juice. "A reset is what it is."

"Our condolences on your loss, Remont. Full glad am I to have you and Oudine here with us now, able to relax and recreate at leisure after your hardship." He returns Remont's smile with his own, the tips of his ears sporting a dash of pink. 

Joshua seems to allow this moment between them and says nothing, simply looking on while taking in the breakfast crowd in the hall.

~*~

Back in Oudine's room, Wil places the crown on her as if he crowns a queen, then slides the smaller flowers in between her braids, seemingly at random. When he is done her hair looks like a river sprinkled with freshly fallen flowers.

For her part, Oudine marvels at the transformation Wil has wrought in her appearance. Within the glass of the dressing table, her dark river of hair, with its purple star-like flowers, has never looked more enchanting. Even she has to admit to herself: she does look quite fetching.

“Thank you Wil; what a wonder you are! This is fit for a formal spring ball, not just a holiday.” Her eyes twinkle up at him. “I can only imagine what the nobility of Ishgard would pay for you to dress their hair like this for special occasions.” 

"Spring ball, holidays, same thing." Wil waves it off. "There's dancing and people are happy, that's all that matters." 

She beams at him with pure delight. “How proud Izzy must be of you.”

He smiles blankly at Oudine's comment. "Why…would Izzy be proud of me? It is I who should be proud of him! He's smart and beautiful - really beautiful - and he can fire an arrow at a target at fifty paces! I'm just a crow."

Oudine rises from her seat. “Not just any crow you are. A lovely crow indeed, to stay by Izzy’s side all the time, to protect him. To sing in such harmony with him, and to make him happy.” She smiles warmly. “I would be over the moon to have someone like you in my life, Wil, though I’ll admit perhaps I’d be quite confused a lot of the time.”

She pats his shoulder gently. “Well, best not keep them waiting any longer. Shall we go show them your masterpiece?” 

Wil chuckles, bowing to the new princess in the room. "We fae are simpler than you think - we're bound to one who knows our true name, it's just that he happens to be my love too. If he tells me to sing or to protect or blow up a prison wall that shakes the foundations of the building I will because it's an order from him! …I shouldn't have said the last one out loud, should I?" He holds out his hand to escort her to the others.

Oudine takes his hand, after a start at the mention of blowing up walls. She smiles, just a little helplessly. “Um, perhaps not with strangers,” she says as they walk out.

~*~

Downstairs, Remont smiles gratefully at his cousins. Izzy's words ease the stifling grief that had arisen, sending it back into the deepest recesses of his chest.

“And long may it continue, o brothers Losstarot.” He raises his coffee cup in a toast to them and sips. 

His seat faces the entrance of the hall, so he's among the first to spot Wil and Oudine walking in together, the former looking like a graceful gentleman escorting a lady to a ballroom. And the latter…

Remont's eyes widen a fraction, eyebrows rising. Then he grins, and gets to his feet to bow: a silent homage to the sister who had never given her looks more than perfunctory thought, now crowned as a princess of spring. Even as a brother, he'd never any doubt that Oudine was rather pretty, even if there were many more who outshone her looks. 

But just for today, for this morning, her bright eyes and the blossom crown give her a magnetic radiance. Little wonder that quite a few eyes turn to the entrance to stare.

He can see her flush from across the room, and laughs. “Izzy, your love is a true wonder. Dine blushes too rarely in my opinion, and here he is, turning her red as a sunset so easily.”

Isillud can't help but fill his chest with pride when he sees Wil's handiwork. "She does look lovely, doesn't she?"

This makes Joshua whip around and stare at his brother - Izzy actually noticing what a woman looks like? A Calamity could be on the horizon. Isillud notices the dumbfounded eyes on him and tilts his head quizzically, "What?"

They make their way to the table soon enough, Oudine still blushing.

Remont bows again. “Dine, you look marvellous. We must keep you like this until we get home, then immediately set you up with the nearest eligible bachelor. Perhaps Lord Stephanivien? I hear he's still single; you'll win him in seconds and have everyone gnashing their teeth with jealousy. Or maybe we should barge into the Holy See to visit our Lord Speaker-”

Oudine smacks his shoulder. “Don't even joke about such things. Both those gentlemen have too much to deal with already.” 

Remont merely grins, then pushes the plate towards her. “As you wish, your highness.”

She rolls her eyes then smiles at her cousins. “If you ever want to consider setting up some sort of salon in Ishgard, I don't think you'll want for customers. Wil's talents would be highly sought, and lucrative I shouldn't wonder.” She picks up a knife to spread jam on her bread. 

Isillud and Joshua give each other a quick look before stifling a laugh. "Perhaps we could have Wil teach a class at the Community Centre," Joshua says.

"Yeah! I could teach people and they could make an income from it, nobles love personal stylists." Wil's eyes light up, hands mimicking braiding hair, "And if the competition is opposed to it I can ex-"

"We'll put it on the cards," Isillud quickly cuts in, shoving a large bowl of salad in front of Wil.

“Much as I've enjoyed our stay, when should we leave?” Oudine lets out a small sigh. “I unfortunately have appointments to keep tomorrow.”

Joshua picks off the remnants off his plate. "We'll leave once we're all done with breakfast. I'll get the porters to bring our things out.” He takes care not to point out the luggage is mostly Oudine's.

Remont slides a look at her. “Not… him, surely.”

“No, not yet.” There's a grimness to the way her mouth is set. “I wanted to tell Tramault he can have his gil and much good may it do him. But I wonder if there's some wisdom in letting him still think he can own us.” She bites into the corner of the bread, letting the mix of lingonberry and marmalade's sweetness take the edge off the name. “We'll see. I want to speak to Uncle Regnier first, and consider our options.”

“Hmm.” He looks at the others, explaining, “Our uncle's house, Vaillant, is a vassal of Durendaire, so they've had run-ins with Gaussain before.” Remont snorts. “The name isn't a particular favourite with Baron Regnier, but he is canny; the man hasn't lived 75 summers without learning a thing or two.”

Oudine raises her eyes to the brothers and Wil. “We're planning to sever ties with Gaussain at last, now that we can buy them out. A large part of my savings has been for this moment, and Rem has brought in the last bits we need. It will be costly, and Tramault will be difficult, but it'll be worth it - having him hold our leash would be far worse.” 

Joshua raises an eyebrow at Oudine's update. "You plan to buy out his share of the ranch? Will Gaussain even deign to sell?"

Oudine picks grimly at her own salad. “It’s part of what I want to speak to my uncle about. If I can get the backing of a few other nobles – or even have someone proxy for us, saying they have the lion’s share of Marlstone rather than Aubemarle – it might be enough to at least get him to sign an agreement.”

“You’d just be exchanging one hand for another on our leash with a proxy,” says Remont, picking at the same plate as his sister. “And Tramault would never believe you’d sell out this quickly. We’ve only just become profitable. The Doma contract was a boon we didn’t see coming.”

“I know, I know.” She shakes her head. “Gods, I was a fool to think his ‘investment’ was a better option than an outright loan. Damn my pride.”

“We were desperate,” says her brother. “I wouldn’t blame yourself so harshly.”

She still wears a dissatisfied turn of her lips. “I should have known better regardless.” Then she sighs again. “I just remembered. We must look for knights for Marlstone, Rem. I don't want any coincidental ‘accidents’.”

Remont eyes his sister a moment, then looks back at Izzy and Joshua. “Don't suppose you know any good bodyguards so Tramault doesn't succeed at setting our office on fire?”

"When you say 'bodyguards' are you looking for someone…permanent? Or a long-term contract?" Isillud adds, "Some only run escort missions or for nothing more than a moon at most."

“I think permanent security is our safest option, though Tramault is more subtle than his son. But in that, he’s more dangerous. And it’s high time the Ishgard office had some form of security detail anyway.” 

“Maybe even the house needs its own guard,” murmurs Oudine. “Though Father never considered it.” 

She pauses a moment, then sets down her fork. Her expression is apologetic. “Forgive me - I didn’t mean to suddenly bring up business while we’re still out here. I wanted to end our outing on a happier note.”  

"You're saying he'd be more amenable to signing away his share if the other holders said they had a majority over you." Joshua taps his salad fork on his lips, humming while giving his brother the side-eye. "Remont's right, you'd just be indebted to another."

"Unless the proxy is someone they trust." Isillud drains his cup of tea, bringing a glass of juice closer. 

Joshua's face twitches. "Izzy," he starts, "We can't afford shares, not now, anyway."

"But we eventually will. And it's good to diversify."

The younger Losstarot rolls his eyes. "I don't think this is something you can sleep your way through."

"If I can get a dozen strangers to vouch for my identity, then I can do this." He sips his juice loudly so he doesn't have to see the look of creeping horror upon his brother's face.

"You did not."

The slurping continues.

"You have contacts, Izzy! You have them! Why did you even-"

The empty glass thuds on the table. Isillud Losstarot calmly wipes the juice from his lips, ignoring his brother's increasingly rabid frothing. "I'll draw up a list of candidates for your security posts, some older adventurers seek more stable work. While this isn't the ending you hoped, I daresay this is a better option."

Both Aubemarle siblings look on at this exchange in quite stunned silence. Even Remont loses vocabulary as he hears what Izzy is saying. It is no small proposal he makes (even the bit about sleeping around), and this doesn't include the unspoken trouble he's taking on to suggest  personnel for Marlstone. 

“Cousin,” says Oudine at last, “We couldn't possibly ask anything of you again. Not after what you've done for us already. I didn't speak of Gaussain to do so, I just… I wanted you to know what we were planning just in case.” She lets out a breath. “It's already being mentioned in some circles that our houses are close. If we irritate Tramault enough, his grudges run deep, and your risks increase. Right now at least, no one connects either of you to Rewelle's case.” A worried wrinkle appears in her brow. “I know you are more than capable of defending yourselves, but I have no intention of… making use of you. Or our connection.”

She smiles a little here. “My mother will say this is vulgar of me to speak so plainly, but I see no other way: Losstarot is an old and venerable name. With all your efforts, you will rise in time. I can already foresee it. I do not wish to be any hindrance to you.”

Remont has been silent all this while, then breathes in. “Dine is saying you shouldn't throw away your options for our sake. Which you might be since Tramault is a fairly petty bastard despite all his grand talk. For some godsdamned reason, they've curried enough favour with Durendaire to have valid backing. Likely the rubies if I'm to speculate, but their familial link is also pretty well-documented, allegedly.”

He smirks a little. “If you have a personal quarrel with Gaussain we haven't heard of, the more the merrier. But our mother practically foisted our problems on you once. We aren't about to do so again.” He raises an eyebrow. “Also: all twelve?”

“Rem!”

"You misunderstand." Isillud crosses his legs, leaning back on his chair. "This isn't a favour. This is a business proposal. We buy some of the shares, just enough to have a voice, saving you the trouble of finding a proxy or convincing some old farts that the Viscount of their House should have a major stake in their own farm." He looks at Joshua, "And it would be nice to have chocobos to call our own to transport cargo, wouldn't it? Saves on rental."

Joshua props his head on his hands and sighs loudly. "Sounds nice except we need  to find some shares to buy first unless Oudine would like to loan us hers." He quickly adds, "Please don't," to his cousins across the table before returning to Isillud, "And do it the proper way, godsdamnit, I'll close an eye to whatever schemes you have to prevent House Gaussain from poking into our affairs but-"

"But you won't abide by adultery and fornication, understood." Isillud strokes Wil's chin after the man shows him his clean plate and effusive praises for the food. "And it was all twelve; The other seventeen were contacts from my work who were all too happy to vouch for me for jobs well done. The last was from House Dailemont. That carried the most weight."

Remont chuckles. “I regret to say it Joshua, but the deeper in you go, the more adultery and fornication you'll find among the lesser houses; gossip is one thing, but half of them have a grain of truth.”

It's not the adultery I care about, it's that it always gets back to me," Joshua answers, not hiding his annoyance, "Why do adventurers need to tell me they met-"

"Language." Isillud cuts the conversation dead; formative years spent in Limsa have influenced Joshua more than he thinks.

Oudine’s eyebrows rise, recognising one of the famed goldsmiths of Ishgard. “Our mother has a pair of Dailemont earrings, a gift from our father long ago. An old, distinguished name indeed.”

She looks at the way Izzy leans back, the way he has taken on a different sort of air than the reassuring man in her room earlier. There sits Lord Isillud, not the head of the house… but its neck. She glances at Joshua then back at the older brother; both of them have the talent to combine forthrightness and cunning, to switch back and forth as needed. It’s a necessary skill in Ishgard, but perhaps more formidably, they can convince others they were either one or the other when they are really both, in curious mixes. 

It could work, thinks Oudine. You have more reason to trust them than you ever did Gaussain. That deal was made in fear and desperation. Let this one be made in courage, and good faith.

She smiles a little, sitting up straighter. “My lords, I am honoured by your interest – and trust – in our company. Allow me to consult with my brother.” She looks at Remont. “What say you?”

Remont smiles amusedly. “Oh, are we doing this now? Very well then.” He straightens in his chair, clears his throat. “The name of Losstarot is in good standing within our society, and their house does splendid work with the community centre they share with the people. I say aye.”

“Then the ayes have it.” Oudine looks back at Izzy, meeting his green eyes. “If you are in earnest of this pursuit, agreements can be drawn up after we return to Ishgard.”

She turns to Joshua. “For this to work, you'll need some of mine and Rem's shares. So while I wouldn’t loan you some, Joshua, I would sell you a portion for a song.” She smiles. “Or a dance, like the one you gave me yesterday.”

“Then consider mine as payment for Dine's hair,” says Remont with a grin. “It'll be the most expensive hair appointment I've ever spent on, but I do owe her a few nameday gifts.”

"I accept your offers, Viscount and Lord de Aubemarle. I look forward to a fruitful venture. " Isillud extends a gloved hand across the table to them. 

Joshua follows Izzy's cue and does the same. "I'll ask Sydney for a loan."

"He better give us the gil given how loaded he is," Isillud mutters behind gritted teeth. "If he doesn't want to be a Lord he's going to pay for that privilege."

Oudine and Remont shake hands with both brothers warmly. “As do we, my lord,” says Oudine, tone formal, although her eyes twinkle. “I’m not sure if it will help, but I’ll also write to Sydney as soon as we reach home,” she adds, with just a little hesitation. “Just to… well, introduce myself, I suppose.”

“Make it a good letter, Dine. That loan will be needed, I think, but not for us.” Remont smiles in amusement. “Thank the Fury Marlstone is kept mostly within the family.”

Oudine nods. “Our uncles, Baron Regnier de Vaillant and Lord Domin de Hellyes hold a goodly portion respectively. Aunt Perette also holds a small percentage.” She looks aside, thinking and calculating. “If they each sell you a portion of theirs, it will outweigh Tramault enough to convince him I and Remont will not have control of Marlstone. That may get him to sell his shares to you, if he’s sure you wouldn’t return it to us.” 

“We’ll think on that later. First, we must amass the capital,” says Remont. “Uncle Domin and Aunt Perette are amiable creatures. I doubt they’ll give you much trouble once you explain what’s going on. It's Uncle Regnier whom you'll have to convince. Family or no, Gaussain or no, he runs his business efficiently, and he doesn’t suffer fools much.”

Oudine shakes her head. “No, he doesn’t. But one doesn’t become a weaponsmaker of renown in our city by being easy.” She smiles a little, looking at her cousins. “I doubt this is what you expected upon returning to Ishgard, but well. Here we are.” 

Joshua frowns: an interesting division of shares. "Interesting that Marlstone is owned by your family members save for Traumault, yet he is satisfied as long as you don't own it. Curious. But we want the family name restored and cleared of a crime we did not commit, and if it means wading through court intrigue and politics and petty grudges, so be it."

Isillud purses his lips at the mention of restoring the family name, as if he has his own opinions but chooses to stay silent. "It appears we have plans to draw up once we return. Drink and eat your fill, everyone. The road home does not appear to be a smooth ride."

Long after breakfast is done, Oudine's luggage is piled into the carriage and they all follow after. As the Chocobos run a-pace from greenery and bright air towards cold fog and ice, she dozes against her brother's shoulder. The morning has taken its toll; try as she did to stay politely awake to converse with her companions, her eyelids closed, lulled by the rocking of the carriage. One loose triteleia has landed in her lap.

Remont is content to let her use him as a pillow, as he stares out at the scenery. Suddenly, as if the thought has been preying on his mind all the while, he says softly, “It is curious, isn't it, why Gaussain hates the name of Aubemarle so particularly. He commonly invests in various businesses, so we thought ours was just one of those he snapped up in a desperate hour. It was only after that when he allowed obvious contempt to show, though at least the rest of his family hasn't been as outwardly disrespectful.”

He smiles faintly. “Dine and I speculated my mother must have caused him serious offence at some point, but we have never been sure. One more mystery we had no time to resolve.” 

"It could be a hint of something deeper or that's Gaussain's nature, who's to say?" Joshua shrugs, "I prefer working on what we have now rather than waste time on speculation. Gaussian can sit on his thumbs and be indignant about it for all I care."

Isillud leans on the carriage door, smiling at his crow perched at the driver's seat like a co-pilot. Wil had bade farewell to the twins after breakfast, returning to oversee the loading of their bags. 

The younger Losstarot stretches, adjusting for comfort. "Talk to your relatives, get the shares. That's all there is to it."

-

~END~

Onto the epilogue

(The epilogue is short, I promise.)

[terry-perry]

What happens if Natalie Rogers is also put in the same case with jack and met zemo and sharon

"So, you must be Mr. America Jr.!" Sharon directed her attention to Jack with that same playful grin on her face. "Heard a lot about you."

He could say the say about her. The famous Sharon Carter. Niece to S.H.I.E.L.D. founder Peggy Carter, and with the same amount of rumors that included the previous Captain America. Nobody wanted to think about that though since it wasn't exactly important. What was important was what was going on and how Sharon was involved with all this.

Then another surprise came in the form of a younger, pretty, young thing that just walked into the living room.

"Nat?"

Jack was shocked to find his teammate there. He wasn't informed about any plans for a mission in this strange country. Then again, he also didn't know he was going to help his dad and Sam, yet here he was.

And Nat of all people was here? He hadn't seen her since he visited her in New Asgard to try to talk about why she left New York without telling anyone. She told him she just needed time away after their last grueling mission which he understood. It was terrifying for all, with him even almost losing his life. Luckily Nat was there to save him before anything bad could happen.

He thought they had a nice time together in New Asgard when he visited her there. He got to catch up with her family who he hasn't talked to in a while and enjoyed some of the nice sights the country had to offer. Much hasn't changed there. The commercialism of New Asgard died down a bit some time ago, but the place was still a popular tourist attraction for most.

It felt like they were kids again. It was nice.

So what was she doing here and giving him a stoic look that reminded him of her father?

This didn't have to do with the almost kiss that happened did it? He didn't mean to come on too strong or make her feel like a rebound since this was not long after his breakup with Marcy. He meant it when he said he really cared about her.

"Hey Jack," she greeted him icily, not breaking eye contact. "Didn't expect to see you here."

He thought he saw a rather knowing look in the eyes of the older adults surrounding them. They most certainly would tease him once they had the chance to.

This was gonna be a long trip.

[mccdreamys-writes]

smiles for miles – 15. the waiting room

hopeful they'll be and long they will wait. - Taylor Swift, Sad Beautiful Tragic

the team's perpective – 3rd person

S E P T E M B E R   1 9 T H   2 0 1 1

In the quiet of the waiting room, tension filled the air, weighing on each member of the team like a heavy blanket. They gathered together, showing their unwavering support for Alex as they waited for news.

As Morgan took a seat next to Garcia, he spoke softly, his concern evident.  "Anyone heard anything yet?"

JJ's tired voice broke the silence. "James is okay," she reported wearily, her exhaustion showing. "But Maile is still unconscious."

Morgan's brow furrowed with worry. "Still?" he asked, disbelief coloring his tone. He hoped for a quick recovery for their friend's friend. "How long has it been?"

JJ's reply was filled with weariness, each word heavy with exhaustion. "It's been eleven long hours," she admitted, the toll of waiting evident in her tired demeanor.

As JJ mulled over her options, the weight of the difficult situation pressed down on her. "I hate to do this," she said, her tone heavy with acceptance. "But I really need a moment to myself, maybe a shower, just to recharge a bit."

Hotch, always the dependable leader, recognized the importance of taking care of oneself during tough times. "You guys should all take a breather," he suggested, his voice kind but firm. "Even though we're not actively working a case, we have to be ready for anything."

Rossi, known for his attention to detail, turned to Hotch with concern etched on his face. "What about you, Aaron?" he asked, genuine worry in his voice. "You need to rest too."

But Hotch, driven by duty above all else, shook his head firmly. "I'm good here," he reassured them, his dedication to the team unwavering. "Blake needs someone around," he pointed out, his commitment to supporting his colleague unwavering, even when he himself was weary.

As Rossi, JJ, and Garcia said their goodbyes and left, the waiting room seemed to relax, like a big breath out, their absence creating a noticeable emptiness. The silence that settled in was almost overwhelming, a stark difference from the busy energy that filled the room just moments before. Yet, in the quiet, Hotch's sharp eyes scanned the room, landing on Reid, who had quietly drifted off to sleep in the corner, unnoticed by the others as they left.

Morgan couldn't help but grin at the sight. "Look at him, all worn out like a little kid."

Meanwhile, as the conversation turned back to the important matter at hand, Morgan's expression changed, the weight of worry evident in the furrows of his brow. His concern for Blake's well-being wasn't just a polite question; it showed the genuine care and empathy he felt for his colleague.

How is Blake holding up?" Morgan's question was careful, reflecting the seriousness of the situation.

Hotch, tired from hours of worrying, stood up with a heavy sigh. "In dire need of some coffee," he admitted, his voice tinged with concern. "She hasn't left her side since she got out of surgery. I dare to even say, she hasn't let go of Maile's hand."

The weight of Hotch's words hung in the air, casting a somber mood over the room as Morgan considered their options. "What should we do?" His question carried urgency, a desire to offer whatever support they could.

Hotch's response showed both empathy and understanding, a sign of his leadership and caring nature in tough times. "Give her the space she needs," he decided, his voice steady despite the seriousness of the situation.

With a serious nod, Morgan showed he was determined and stood united with the team, silently promising to handle the task carefully. "I'll go check on her," he confirmed, his voice steady and reassuring despite the uncertainty. "I'll catch up with you there."

As Morgan set off on his mission, Hotch took on the role of caring for the team, driven by a sense of duty and empathy. He skillfully brewed cups of hot coffee, each one a small comfort in the tense atmosphere of the dimly lit waiting room. The rich aroma filled the air, wrapping everyone in a blanket of warmth and support.

Approaching Reid, who was peacefully asleep, Hotch carefully set a cup of coffee within his reach. He knew that just the smell of it would soon stir his colleague awake. It was a small but thoughtful act, showing Hotch's attention to his team's needs, even in tough times.

With Reid taken care of, Hotch turned his attention to the main concern: Maile's room. As he approached, a mix of nerves and determination washed over him, a feeling he'd grown accustomed to over the years. His instincts were right; Alex stood by Maile's bedside, keeping watch with unwavering dedication, a testament to their bond.

Meeting Alex's tired eyes, Hotch handed her a cup of coffee, offering a bit of comfort in the face of uncertainty. Though she simply said "thanks," her eyes spoke volumes, revealing the depth of her emotions. Despite the gesture, Alex's focus remained on her friend, her loyalty shining through.

Recognizing the weight of Alex's commitment, Hotch placed the coffee on the nearby table, silently acknowledging the bond that held them together during this vigil.

In the patient's room, anxiety hung thick in the air, making time feel like it was playing tricks on everyone. Moments seemed to drag on forever, while hours slipped by in a blink. The ticking clock echoed like a drumbeat, reminding everyone of the uncertainty surrounding them.

But in the midst of all this, Hotch stood out as a steady presence. His calm demeanor cut through the tension, giving people something to hold onto in the midst of their worries. And then there was the smell of coffee, filling the room with its comforting aroma.

The coffee offered a brief moment of relief from the stress, giving everyone a chance to take a breath and gather themselves. Hotch's gestures, like offering a cup of coffee or just being there, showed that he was there to support them through the tough times.

Enticed by the comforting scent of coffee, Reid began to stir from his sleep, his awakening as gentle as a whisper in the silent room. With a soft sigh, he emerged from the depths of slumber, his tired eyes adjusting to the subdued light filtering through the room.

Just as Hotch had predicted, Reid's presence soon became a welcomed addition to the solemn scene unfolding in Maile's room. Like a missing piece of a puzzle fitting perfectly into place, Reid joined the team, his quiet yet steady presence reinforcing their collective resolve in the face of challenges.

As the weight of their shared worry hung heavy in the air, each member of the team found comfort in each other's company. In the calm of the room, broken only by the steady beeping of machines and the gentle rustle of emotions, they stood together, united by a common purpose and a shared hope for better days ahead.

In the midst of the team's swirling emotions, one thing stood out above all else: Maile's well-being. And in the midst of everyone's worries, Alex stood out as a symbol of unshakeable dedication. Her connection to Maile went beyond just being colleagues; it was a bond that ran deep.

In just a year, Alex had become an integral part of their lives, leaving a lasting impression on everyone she met. Despite their brief time together, her compassion and genuine friendship had woven a strong bond that couldn't be measured by time.

To the team, Alex wasn't just a coworker; she was like family. She was someone they could trust and lean on, especially in times of need. Her unwavering commitment to Maile showed just how much she cared, and it was a testament to the kind of person she was.

Even in the darkest moments, Alex's dedication shone brightly, giving everyone hope and guiding them through the uncertainty.

With calm yet caring demeanors, a nurse and a doctor entered the room, their presence announced by the soft sound of their footsteps and the gentle rustle of their scrubs. They brought with them a sense of urgency, but also a deep empathy that seemed to fill the space like a gentle breeze.

As they asked for some room to work, the mood in the room shifted, their words hanging in the air with a quiet intensity. It was a necessary interruption to the solemn atmosphere that had settled over the room, a reminder of the delicate balance between hope and uncertainty they were all facing.

Hotch and Morgan, always sensitive to the needs of others, stepped back without hesitation. With silent agreement, they moved to the edges of the room, offering their support in a steadfast yet unobtrusive way amidst the anxious energy that filled the space.

For Alex, it was harder to let go. With a heavy heart, she reluctantly released her grip on Maile's hand, feeling a sense of sadness and resignation wash over her. Every part of her wanted to stay by her friend's side, but she knew it was important to give the medical professionals the space they needed to care for Maile.

As both the doctor and nurse stepped back, Alex moved closer, her actions filled with a quiet determination as she gently took hold of Maile's hand once more. It was a simple yet powerful gesture, a silent promise to stand by her friend's side through whatever challenges lay ahead. But mostly, that she wasn't ready to let go of what they had together.

Meanwhile, as the doctor finished updating Maile's chart, her expression became more serious, reflecting the seriousness of the situation that hung over the room like a dense fog. With a deep sigh, she turned to face the trio of worried faces before her, her eyes conveying the gravity of the news she was about to share.

"There's been no change,"  she began, her voice heavy with sorrow. Her words seemed to fill the room with a sense of sadness, each syllable carrying the burden of unspoken fears and dashed expectations.

For Alex, the world seemed to blur around her as the doctor's words washed over her. In the midst of her own turmoil, it was Hotch who stepped up to seek clarification, his voice a steady presence amidst the uncertainty that filled the room like a storm.

"What does that mean exactly?" he asked, a mix of concern and apprehension evident in his tone.

The doctor's response was careful, each word laden with significance. "It means that if Maile doesn't wake up within the next seven hours, the damage to her may become irreversible. There's a chance she may not wake up at all."

[lex1nat0r]

#Hex24 - Week 9 & 10

Getting back into the groove.

005.013: Several meteorite impact scars dot these hills. The starmetal that came down with the original impacts was taken long ago and forged into legendary weapons. Recently strange blue lights have been seen shining in the craters. So far no one has been brave enough to investigate.

005.014: These hills were mined out long ago but rumors of hidden motherlodes persist to this day. More pragmatic folk warn of the kinds of nasty things that could be occupying the mines now.

006.011: Farming communities line the road to Gromt. They have heard news that there are bandits to the north and that some may have crossed the Stonemilk. Fearing that means they will be the target of raiding, they have been petitioning King Daniel for more protection.

006.012: The town of Forge Rock sits astride the road to Gromt. Forgers (and the other people south of the Stonemilk river) view Gromters and the like as uncouth northern barbarians, which manifests as an unfailing hospitality as citizens eager to show how much more "civilized" they are fall over themselves to be generous hosts.

006.013: The farms outside the city of Caelwerner are peaceful and enjoy the stability provided by being near King Daniel's capital.  They grumble of course but so far he hasn't given the peasants cause to resent him too much yet.

006.014: The Caelwerner tournament ground. King David has spent a lot of money improving the ground to host grander tournaments. He uses the tournaments to bolster the loyalty of his knights as well as make sure they are prepared should any of the neighboring kingdoms try to expand into his territory.

006.015: The site of the last major battle against the empire, before they established their rule over this land. Stories of ghosts abound, of course, and farmers are careful about where they allow their animals to graze lest they disturb an angry spirit's resting place. The number of bodies here not given proper burial rites make this a tempting target for would-be necromancers.

007.010: Some of the bandits from the north have crossed the Stonemilk to make a living in these hills. They are working on forming their own community to move away from banditry, but are constantly worried that their former comrades will turn on them for easy pickings.

007.011: The uninformed might think the outskirts of the Woodwall forest are easier to navigate than its interior, but unfortunately that is not the case. An order of forest-rangers dedicate their lives to exploring the forest and safeguarding it from interlopers, as well as making sure nothing too dangerous makes it out of the forest. If you seek their help or to join them, your first test is of course to find them.

007.012: The farms around Forge Rock will gladly shelter any of the Woodwall rangers who ask, grateful for the protection they offer from the creatures of the forest. The villagers won't ask questions of anyone who presents a Rangers' Token.

007.013: Caelwerner, capital of Daniel's new kingdom, formerly the empire's provincial capital. King Daniel has successfully appropriated that authority to legitimise his rule and make the transition of power relatively smooth.

Attractions: The King's Arms, a new tavern set up by one of King Daniel's former knights, still loyal to the new king. The great library of Caelwerner, which some claim they have seen King Daniel surreptitiously removing books from. A healthy market, where one can buy almost anything legally available in the region.

007.014: Not many farmers here are aware that an ancient subterranean complex stretches under this region, allegedly built by wizard-kings in prehistory. The complex has been sealed since before the empire came, but the imperial soldiers removed a sealing stone as they were pulling back to the imperial capital. The repercussiosn of this act are only now beginning to manifest.

008.011: The Woodwall forest proper is a twisted maze of gnarled trees, stalked by strange beasts seen nowhere else. For most who manage to make it this deep, their only hope of getting out is to be rescued by the Woodwall rangers.

008.012: The Woodwall rangers recently cleared out several monster lairs in this part of the Woodwall forest as the inhabitants had made the surrounding farms too dangerous to work. Since the rangers left most of the less-dangerous creatures untouched, it's a common joke in Forge Rock that this area makes a good place for wanna-be adventurers to train before fully taking up a life as looters and vagabonds.

[unhingedexperimenter]

"You have a very kind heart, Becky. Thank you for being concerned." Henry didn't press further about the accident that Dr.Two-Brains had. Though he was curious about exactly what happened that resulted in Dr.Two-Brains becoming... well who he is now. He didn't want to force his student to tell him. "It isn't fair how others treat people. We can't control it but we can control how we handle it. If they treat me differently because I interact with your father, they would show me who I can trust. You don't need to have to worry about this. It'll turn out alright." Henry honestly didn't know if his reassurance was effective but Becky had given him an appreciative smile. "Thank you, Dr. Jekyll. Though it was still embarrassing how dad approached the situation and how everyone felt like they had to talk about it. I don't want anyone thinking that dad asked you out for a nefarious reason. Or that he's going to force you into crimes. People around here can be…harsh. Judgemental.” Becky frowned at some memories that popped up in her mind. “Dad is genuine. If you're wondering. He really is excited. Which is nice to see if I'm going to be honest.”

Patricia couldn't get this case out of her head. This was vastly different from Hyde's usual crimes. Vandalism, robbery and getting into physical fights with drunkards. Nothing as serious as this. Something about it bothered her. A lot. She didn't know why it did it but it did. From what Dr.Two-Brains had told her, he didn't seem like the type to be serious for too long. Yet they knew he was much more intelligent than he lets on. Having the knowledge to use chemistry to his advantage. That could have easily made her believe he could have caused this fire. She had let out a small sigh. Patricia was going to be needing someone else to help her learn more about what happened. Someone with better access to information and files. Documents she can't get her hands on. She quickly dialed up a number and waited for them to answer. "Hello?" Victor had answered the call. "Vic, I need your help. It has something to do with your brother and a new criminal in the city. We found something out about this criminal but something about it doesn't sit right with me." The other seemed surprised by Patricia asking for help. "Alright, I'll see what I can do. Who is this criminal that you're speaking about and how does this involve my brother?" His tone was serious. "Edward Hyde. He had arrived in Fair City recently. I believe it was recently. Edward seemed to have lived in London before fleeing here. It looks like he was a mundane type of criminal but what made him flee. It was arson. Arson along with attempted murder. Dr.Two-Brains told me that Edward went to the EVA meeting to try and join them. To become a villain. I want your help to figure out more about him. Something about this seems off to me. This was the only serious crime he's committed. There's something more to this and I know you would be able to help me find out what." Victor was shocked by what he had heard. He's heard that name before. Margaret had her agents keep an eye on him. One singular crime like that wasn't in her jurisdiction but she wanted to keep tabs on anyone who could follow in a certain villain's footsteps. "I'll start looking into this and tell you what I find. For now just keep tabs on the guy. Make sure he doesn't do anything that could harm my brother." Patricia felt relieved that it didn't take much convincing. "Thanks. I will. I think the best way I could keep an eye on this guy, is to befriend him. He hasn't met me yet and has no clue we know about what happened. This will make sure that he doesn't get suspicious and flee once more." Victor chuckled at that. He knew that she loved the undercover part of the job she once had. "Alright but be careful." With that said, they both hung up. Patricia hoped that it wouldn't be difficult to find Hyde. To find out who he was as a person. If this man was truly capable of what they said he did. If he did do it, what caused him to do it? She was determined to find out herself.

(You can tag me on my tgs side blog. I also apologize but I know a few Scottish words. So to anyone reading this I apologize for the inaccuracy.) Becky Boxleitner noticed a change in the atmosphere as she and her pet monkey Bob walked into the sixth grade classroom. All of the students were excitedly chatting with one another. Becky and Bob exchanged confused looks at the scene. 'What is going on?' They both thought. Becky walked to where her friends Violet Heaslip, Rose Franklin, and Todd Scoops Ming were sitting, also joining in the excited yet low volume chattering. "Hey guys what's going on?" Becky asked her friends. They each turned their heads to greet their friend. "Hey Becky guess what, we're getting a new teacher for our class!" Scoops exclaimed. Becky looked surprised at the announcement. Bob also mimicked her facial expression. "Wait really? What happened to Miss Davis?" Becky asked, wondering what happened to their old teacher. It was just a week only into the new school year so a sudden teacher exchange was a complete shock to Becky especially since there were no announcements about it beforehand. "Miss Davis had to move back home because of a family emergency." Rose Franklin answered. "The principal had to scramble to find a new teacher to fill in for our class. It was all last minute stuff." Becky nodded in understanding of her friends' answers. It was a nice perk to be friends who were upcoming reporters. Soon the final bell rang which indicated for every student to take their seats. Becky took her place beside her best friend Violet and Bob plopped down next to her. Soon a man who looked to be in his mid 30s walked in and towards the desk. He had curly brown air, an arched nose, and reddish brown eyes. He wore a tan button-down shirt with a red vest as well as brown slacks and dark suede shoes. The man gave a pleasant and warm smile to all the students there. "Hello my name is Dr. Henry Jekyll and I will be your teacher for the school year." Becky and the other kids ears perked up as they took note of the man's accent. Even Tobey became slightly interested in his new teacher. None of them were sure where their new teacher was from. Dr. Jekyll gave a light chuckle as if he could sense their growing curiosity about him. He lightly clapped his hands together to gain their undivided attention and focus. "Well since this is my first time teaching here, why don't we all play a little game so we can all get better acquainted with each other. Here's what to do. One at a time, say your name and share a wee bit about yourself. Likes, family, interests and all that. I'll go first to show ya what ah mean. Again. My name is Dr. Henry Jekyll. I was born in Glasgow but ah moved to London where I attended university. I have a five year old wee lassie or daughter named Amber. I enjoy chemistry and reading on occasions. Now who would like to go next?" @unhingedexperimenter

Of course Tobey had taken the opportunity to place attention on himself and to have a reason to boast about himself. “My name is Tobey McCallister the third and I will be the most intelligent student you'll meet here.” The others had rolled their eyes, used to this kind of behavior from their peers. Becky seemed to be the most annoyed by it. Having been forced to put up with his destructive tantrums in the past. Henry smiled just as warmly as before. Unbothered by the obnoxious behavior that the boy had been displaying. Tobey had been going on about himself for a good few minutes before the teacher finally spoke up. “Ahem, yes. Thank you for that Mr. McCallister. Would anyone else like to tell me a bit about themselves as well?” No one could tell that behind the facade, Dr. Henry Jekyll was becoming more irritated by the moment. Not by the child but by the pest that refused to leave him be. Scoffing within his head at what they just heard. He didn't share the disembodied voice's opinion but wanted to give the other children a chance to introduce themselves as well. To the others' shock, Tobey seemed to have taken this well. Quickly going back to his desk with no issues. Becky was relieved at that. Soon the other children had started to introduce themselves to their new teacher with little to no issues. He seemed genuinely nice enough to her. This new teacher didn't seem like most of the adults within this city. Some she had to define words repeatedly for. Dr. Jekyll knew what he was teaching and knew his vocabulary. It was Violet who had brought Becky out from her own thoughts, calling her name. Waving a hand in front of her face. “Becky?” The girl smiled in an embarrassed manner. “Huh? Yes?” Violet smiled, patient with her best friend. “Why don't you introduce yourself now? Nearly everybody else already did.” She had given a surprised expression. Becky hadn't realized that she was so lost within her thoughts until then. She stood up and began speaking. “My name is Becky Boxleitner and I also like libraries,reading and Pretty Princess.” The presence that was grating at the teacher's nerves had deemed this too dull to enjoy. Leaving Dr. Jekyll be to his teaching. Well, getting to know his students. He was happy to see that they were engaged in these activities that were meant to break the ice. Though one student in particular had caught his attention the most. Becky. While she did seem rather bright, there was something strange about her behavior at times. Pausing whatever she was doing at the time to listen in on something. Thinking it went unnoticed. Even once looking alarmed and she made an excuse to go to the bathroom. He had allowed it. Feeling that it would've been better to have let her. It seemed…oddly familiar. As if he had seen that behavior somewhere before but couldn't figure out exactly where from. When the school day was finally over, Becky had gone to go home like the others. Dr. Jekyll had of course stayed behind to set more things up within his new classroom. Making a plan on exactly what he'll actually start teaching the next day. Though, the grating voice had returned to be a thorn in his side. “Come on. Leave this boring stuff alone. Leave it until tomorrow. I've been pent up for far too long. Let's have some fun.” This had earned an eye roll and a loud huff from the teacher. “No, I've got to get this done now. You will have enough time tonight. Just be patient until then.” A shadowy figure formed in front of Dr. Jekyll. A frown on its face. “But this is so extremely dull. I want to stretch my legs. I want to make myself known already.” Dr. Jekyll glared. “And that is precisely why I'm so hesitant to let you out so soon. At least let us get acclimated to our surroundings first.” The figure let out an annoyed groan. “You know you want this as much as I do. Otherwise you'd never have any actual fun in the sad and pathetic life you call yours.”

@thecountoflondonfansite