#in anything that extends further than a single episode.

[mrbingley]

me, feverishly googling and combing through the wiki production section of every british show before watching because if i see steven moffat's name anywhere i am out, i am bailing.

[zalrin]

Regrets (BG3 Imagine)

Title: Regrets

Pairing: Ascended Astarion x good!Dark Urge (OC!Zurge)

Warnings: Spoilers for Baldur’s Gate 3

Part: 1

Word Count: 1,721

Summary: Several centuries have passed since the party's fight against the Absolute. After saving the world, they each went their separate ways. Some tried to stay in touch, but they all eventually drifted apart, especially due to the merciless passage of time. Astarion wanted nothing more than to reunite with Zurge, but after the mistake he’s made, he couldn't bring himself to interfere with her life. Now that the 700th year since their separation was approaching, he couldn't help but wonder what happened to that elven mortal - the only one he has ever truly loved.

Note From Author: This fanfic is largely inspired by the popular "You came, You called" meme I'd often see on almost all social media platforms. I only recently learned it was from a series called, "The Sandman" and ended up watching an extended clip of the scene (episode 11, for those of you wondering). That's when this idea came to me, so please enjoy! The title may change (it's a work-in-progress).

Part 1 - Regrets

Why?

No matter how tightly the windows were shut, the noises always seemed to filter through. The bustling streets, the people going about their day, the animals chattering, and the wheels of all the carriages and carts squeaking incessantly. He could hear even the faintest of whispers in the furthest reaches of the city, the meaningless gossip of all those beneath him.

Why?

The rustle of clothes. The shuffling of feet. His servants rushing to-and-fro, making sure to stay clear of his room. The latest spawn resisting their hunger, abiding by the rules he set forth. The guests sluggishly making their way out of his palace as yet another banquet had successfully concluded.

Why?

A cup shattered, decorating the wall with blood and glass. The one who threw it held his head, cursing at the fact that he couldn’t get drunk, as the servants outside scurried further away from the room in fear.

“Shut up!”

Astarion yelled, gripping his head as if he were in pain.

“Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!”

But the voice didn’t obey. It was one of the few presences that always disregarded his commands.

Why?

He slumped deeper into his bed, the silk sheets doing nothing to alleviate his frustrations. No amount of outside noise seemed to be able to silence the one ringing in his head. Always just one word. One question. Over and over again. It was to the point that it was driving him mad.

Why?

He was beginning to hate the sound of his own voice. It was the one asking the question, after all. Like a broken record, repeating the same thing with no end in sight. As if his former self that he had long since abandoned was constantly questioning him. Nagging him. Pestering him.

Why?

It never seemed to rest, but there were moments it would amplify. Anything she wouldn’t approve of. Anything she would find saddening. Anything she would advocate against. Every single time, his former self never failed to ask that same question, forcing him to recall the one that had abandoned him. The one he both wished he could forget but also hoped he never would.

“Shut up…” He muttered, covering his face with his hands. “I did what I had to do.”

Why?

“To be free! To be happy! To have everything I ever wanted!” He replied, standing up from his bed and glaring at the mirror he once adored. Never had he imagined a day would come when he would despise his own reflection.

Why?

It was as if the man in the mirror was not himself. It seemed to move by itself, completely independent from him. It was clear as day who this man was. It was him, but different. Dressed in clothes that were mended repeatedly, rather than his perfectly tailored suit. His past self. The version of him he threw away.

“You know damn well why I did it,” he laughed, hysteria taking control as his vision blurred from the rage that seethed inside.

His reflection did not respond.

“Now look at me! I’ve played host to every kind of banquet, soiree, and masquerade imaginable. My influence over this city has nearly reached its peak, having authority over those who matter.”

Still, his former self did not reply.

“I have all the time in the world to spin my web, and now all this power is mine. There’s still an entire world out there, ready for the taking.”

Astarion peered back into the mirror, waiting for that annoying question to speak up once more. But his reflection was strangely… Quiet. It stared back at him, but something was different. As if it was waiting for something.

“Truly a life worth living, right?”

Then why do you regret it?

That startled him. The question his past self would ask, it was only ever why. It had never changed, nearly driving him insane. Since the day it began to speak… Since the day his spawn reported Zurge’s… His former self never said a different word. Not even to elaborate on its question.

Why do you regret the choice you made that day?

“What-”

Ever since you found out-

“Don’t. Don’t say it.”

It was bound to happen eventually. She’s not like us. She won’t live forever. Wouldn’t it have just been better to turn her?

“Silence! Go back to your one-worded-”

Why do you not regret being unable to turn her into a spawn, but you regret your ascen-

“SHUT UP!”

In a fit of rage, his hand went through the fragile mirror. It shattered on impact, but his hand remained free of any wounds. Not a drop of blood was shed. But even with the mirror broken beyond repair, the voice didn’t stop.

If you regretted it so much, it sneered, why didn’t you go to her when she was still-

“I couldn’t!”

It was the first time he had been truly honest with the illusion, but he couldn’t sit still. He didn’t want to come to terms with what it was about to say next. He couldn’t bear to think about it, so how could he let it say it out loud?

“There, are you happy now?” He chuckled, stepping on the broken glass as he made his way to his desk. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t go to her. Not with how things ended. Not after what I’ve done.”

Are you content that she may have gone on hating you until the day she-

“Yes.” He interrupted again, settling into his chair and resting his arms on his desk with his head hung low. “I am content simply knowing that she is… Was happy.”

Is that why you’re searching?

“What?”

Is that why you’re searching for it, after all this time?

Astarion knew what his former self was referring to, but he couldn’t bring himself to answer. If he did, it would become too real. And once it became real… How could he bear the pain that would follow? The emptiness?

Before he could formulate a response, a hurried knock came at the door.

If given the chance, would you like to see her again?

A foolish question. One that didn’t need an answer. It had never changed since the day she left him. Why would it be any different now?

“Enter.”

He ignored the voice, focusing on the real world, not the voice that festered in his mind.

Do you still love her, even when you chose power over her all those years ago?

Another foolish question. Why would his former self feel the need to ask when it was the very embodiment of the regret he had for choosing to ascend? If he could turn back time, he would have listened to her. He wouldn’t have betrayed her. And she never would’ve left his side.

He tried to delude himself into thinking that all this power made him happy. He amassed so much of it to continue the charade. But his former self knew how miserable he truly was, so why did it still bother to ask?

The door swung open, waking him from his thoughts, and he heard footsteps rush towards him. In a fluid motion, the steps halted and he heard the familiar sound of someone kneeling. Such a greeting was common amongst his children. It was one of his commands, after all. Now, what could be so important that a mere spawn would come all the way to his room to report?

“Speak.”

Believing it to be unimportant, like all of the other reports he periodically received from his spawn, Astarion glanced up from his desk towards the kneeling servant. But the moment he laid eyes on the figure, he knew exactly who this was. The realization made his cold heart flinch for the first time in a long while. He… He wasn’t ready. Not yet. Perhaps not ever.

“We’ve found-”

“Stop.”

He interrupted the spawn. Astarion immediately understood why they were here before they could even say the words. This was one of the many spawns he had commanded to search for… To find Zurge’s grave. But, regardless of how desperate he had been when giving the command… He just wasn’t ready to hear the results. He wasn’t ready to confirm what he knew would eventually come.

“Report the location to me later,” he sighed, suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion as he reached out to pour himself another glass. “You are excused.”

“But Master-”

“I don’t want to hear another word about her grave,” he warned, a crack running up the cup in his hand before even a drop of blood could be poured.

It was a testament to how much he was restraining himself. A threat to make sure his child didn’t say another unnecessary word.

“If you have nothing else to report, leave. That’s an order.”

Would you go to her if she called for you?

The strange question made him freeze in his tracks, unable to reach for another cup. What did the voice mean, if she called for him? It knew better than he did of the news his spawn was bringing. They had even tried to say it several times, but he had interrupted the impudent child. Was his former self trying to give him false hope? Was the voice trying to break his sanity through cruelty now?

“Master.”

His spawn’s voice brought him back from the self-loathing spiral he was about to drown in and he quickly recollected his thoughts. Before he could become annoyed that the spawn was still here, despite his command, they continued.

“There is no grave.”

The words he was about to say quickly got stuck in his throat. Silence filled the room. Why did it seem like he couldn’t understand anything? First his former self. Now his spawn. Why didn’t any of them seem to make any sense today?

“... What did you say?”

Perhaps he misheard. He was delusional from the hope his inner voice tried to ignite. Yes, that was the only logical answer. How could it possibly be anything else? Too many years had passed to allow for such a hope in his eternal life.

But reality seemed to still have miracles left for him.

“Zurge… She’s alive.”

Or karma had finally caught up to his wretched self.

“She’s alive as a spawn.”

[Next]

[sonkitty]

The Sideburns Scheme Post #50

(For reference: The Sideburns Scheme)

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 3, I Know Where I'm Going, tempest

...

Sideburns Check

The above image is brightened. The sideburns are still long, as expected for the rest of this episode. Gabriel's still around and visible this time. His presence affects the sideburns this way when Crowley's not around humans.

...

Brighter Red Streak Check

The above image is brightened more than the one above.

Given the lighting and angles, it's not as easy to find the more saturated red streak of hair anymore, but it is there, most obviously when Crowley has his right hand pocketed and starts moving forward toward Gabriel yet.

...

Hairstyle Changes

The top front hair in the center is more collectively defined in that area, centering, going up, and back. The red further back on the top of the head is more clearly shown; much of the preceding window sequence hid this part of the hair.

...

Earthly Objects

(For reference: Earthly Objects)

Gabriel starts off with the question, "Did they vavoom?" He is still seated, and his shoes are visibly crossed over the rug. His hands are touching his thighs, with his right hand on his right thigh showing four extended fingers and his left hand hiding all of his fingers. A shadow is cast over his face.

Crowley replies using the name "Jim." He is touching things, but those touches are not visible on screen yet.

With a cut back to Gabriel, his right hand is no longer showing all four fingers and now matches the left hand in hiding the fingers. His eyes turn purple as he says foreboding stuff.

The scene cuts back to Crowley to reveal his touches. His right hand is pocketed, and his left hand is touching the desk. He removes his touch on the desk first, then moves his right hand out of his pocket. His index finger "makes a point".

There is another cut to Gabriel as he keeps talking with the purple eyes and ominous words. He's shown as still seated, hands touching the inner parts of his thighs, and his elbows against the arm rests.

With a cut back to Crowley, he only says, "Go on," with no evident touches on anything.

Another cut to Gabriel shows him continuing, and now the camera work mainly shows Gabriel's back in front of the chair. I can't really tell just by looking at it, but going over the preceding cuts, I think the back is not really against the chair for a touch.

Then there's a cut to Crowley with a question of, "What are we talking about now?"

There's a cut back to Gabriel. Gabriel blinks. The purple eyes are gone. He looks at Crowley.

There's a cut back to Crowley, who doesn't say anything, but the camera's been getting closer and closer to each of their faces to focus on their eye colors. Crowley's eyes are yellow. Gabriel's eyes were purple. These colors are opposites on a color wheel.

With a cut back to Gabriel, Gabriel asks, "Who am I? What's happened to me?"

Before Crowley can answer, they are interrupted by Shax tapping on a window pane with an index finger, beckoning Crowley to her.

Crowley tells Gabriel to, "Stay here." He picks up his sunglasses, which I'm guessing he's doing whatever needs to be done so that they are an accessory instead of a door, given how the scenes will continue. He also picks up some keys.

When Crowley touches the door to exit, he touches the astragal with his four fingers but not the fingertips. He places his thumb on the push plate. These touches are probably relevant to figuring out the Single of The Pocket Trick later. For now, the main thing to know is that these touches are how to earn earthly object touches on a door instead of threshold-only touches.

The tassel tips of Crowley's tie briefly appear under his arm in all the movement. I wonder why the story's going through the trouble of showing that. It at least shows both strands are actually pointing toward Crowley's left and in front of his left torso, including the lapel of his jacket.

The touch on the keys is more evident from Crowley when trying to follow along with whatever the tie strands are doing as the door is closed.

...

For paying attention to the pockets...

Gabriel's position with his feet crossed allows him to have a pocket between his legs and hands while seated.

When Crowley is shown to have his right hand pocketed, a globe is visually pocketed between Crowley's left side, arm, and desk. I'm guessing it represents the world they are trying to protect through whatever grand schemes are really happening in this story.

Crowley ends up shielding it because he blocks it from view with his movement as he removes his touches.

When Crowley does this movement, the tie strands don't switch or cross, but the clasps align and probably touch each other. The clasps represent thumb joints for the Tied Hands.

This cut includes the Belt Head so it could theoretically have an Overhead Lights or multiple Overhead Lights here through the lamps on the desk. If the sunlight is meant as a guide, it's just the one lamp closest to Crowley and the window he had been using for the previous scene.

While I'm mentioning so many things, there is a pocket made with the right arm and Crowley's torso too.

When Crowley puts on his sunglasses, he makes a pocket with his body that includes his arms, hands, and chin. Something that must be at least one, if not both, of the tie strands, pushes forward off his chest as he brings his hands down.

...

Story Commentary

With all the commotion to the end of the scene, Crowley is briefly fully obscured by a pillar. I've often wondered if there's a reason for such things when they happen, but I've never figured out what such a reason might be.

When Gabriel has the purple eyes, his voice is mixed with someone who sounds like a woman. I can't find anything in the credits for who it might be. The mixed voice fades or disappears when Gabriel says, "Every day it's getting closer."

...

That's it for this post. Sometimes I edit my posts, FYI.

...

Main post:

The Sideburns Scheme

[number1villainstan]

Random questions? I'm down! So on the whole thing with deku not existing and all, can you elaborate I've had some thoughts on it but haven't thought of it hard enogh too write anything about it?

jesus fuck this took so long to answer, i straight up forgot this was in my drafts--

The short answer/thesis statement: Midoriya Izuku is a "black hole protagonist": he, as a character, twists the story around him in order to make himself look sympathetic/always right/super cool (or, more accurately, Horikoshi writes the story that way) to the detriment of the plot, themes, and development of other characters--hell, even to the detriment of his own character depth/development.

(Disclaimers and justification/the rest of the essay under the cut. This is going to be long, and will probably take a long time to answer.)

(Disclaimer: I've really only watched the anime to the end of the Shie Hassaikai arc and through part of the Gentle Criminal--sorry, School Festival arc and read the manga chapters where Lady Nagant appears (the first time) or is mentioned. Quite frankly, I don't want to watch or read further, except for maybe watching the Nagant episodes, or clips of the MLA. That being said, from what I've seen of spoilers, I'm not sure the later part of the series is much different on the points I'm going to talk about.)

Probably the first thing is Deku's internal/inherent traits as a character. What traits does he have? Well, there's his physical appearance, he's a fan of All Might, he cries a lot, he wants to be a hero. Okay, sure. But why does he want to be a hero? What does he get emotional about? He was bullied for being Quirkless--where do we see the effects of that in canon? He and the rest of Class 1A have been repeatedly attacked by villains and lived through seeing one of their classmates chained up like an animal on live television BY THEIR SCHOOL and then kidnapped by a group of villains that attacked a summer camp that was supposed to be safe. (Yes, I am salty about the Sports Festival and Bakugo, because that was bullshit.) Moreover, that student that got chained up was supposed to be someone Deku looked up to. What the hell are the emotional effects of that? Does Deku even see Bakugo Katsuki as a person? A bully? Or just as a standard to surpass? Canon doesn't answer any of these questions--it doesn't even treat them as relevant. Deku's just a bland character for the author to make look cool through Beating Up Villains and pretty (but ultimately hollow) Speeches About The Importance of Heroics and Compassion.

And of course, we have the traits we're told he has, like compassion and understanding, but that don't actually play out--or at least don't play out consistently--in his actions. If he's so compassionate, why doesn't it extend to Overhaul, who breaks out into hives every time someone touches him? That's not normal or healthy! If he's so understanding, then what's this shit I hear about him telling Dabi he's worse than his abusive father? And--furthermore--why does this "compassion" only seem to come out when he's physically fighting people? Why is it that he never steps down from a fighting stance and sits down next to someone? (Although maybe that part's just shonen bullshit.) Furthermore, his informed compassion never leads him to change his mind--no matter what his opponent's arguments are, the narrative always frames Deku as in the right.

And then, of course, there's the fact that he takes up far more than his fair share of screen time. Yes, even though he's the main character. Like 80% of every single episode is dedicated to just showing him off (and despite the disproportionate amount of screentime he gets, he's still such a nothing of a character). How much character development does anyone else around him get, outside of maybe one or two arcs? Hell, it's so bad that Bakugo Katsuki, the guy who's apparently supposed to be his long-term bully/friend/frenemy, has practically no details about him. We don't see his room in the dorm tour, we don't see his parents outside of the montage of a bunch of different characters' parents when the teachers are going around (and the fact that his mother slaps him and calls him weak for getting kidnapped goes completely unaddressed? In a series with the Todoroki family and the Hassaikai arc???), we see comparatively little of Bakugo outside of his interactions/relationship with Deku. And Bakugo is supposed to be a deuteragonist--think of how many secondary characters have their characterization cut short or subsumed into the black hole of Deku. Uraraka Ochako, Iida Tenya, to some extent even Todoroki Shouto, every other member of Class 1A.

And then there's the effect of having Deku as a protagonist on the story's treatment of its villains. BnHA tries to send the message of "everyone deserves to be saved" or "villains are products of their circumstances", but, for a variety of reasons--including Deku being a "black hole protagonist"!--not a whole lot of the villains actually end up getting saved (rather than arrested), and when they do sometimes it's in a way that negates their very real concerns/reasons for being a villain. Very first to my mind is, of course, the Hassaikai: the only one in that group "saved" in any capacity is Eri, which, being one of thirteen named characters (among a host of unnamed ones), isn't exactly a very high rate of 'saving.' I thought everyone was supposed to be saved? And of course, there's the added factor of Overhaul--the main villain for that arc--being the character most heavily coded as mentally ill and/or neurodivergent in the series, and that that coding is used to make him seem more scary/villainous/evil. (I could write a whole Rant on how the narrative's treatment of Overhaul's character is ableist as fuck, but that's not what we're focusing on here.) And then we have Lady Nagant--who is saved, yes, but how many of her concerns about the deep structural issues associated with hero society and the HPSC are actually, meaningfully, specifically addressed? She shouldn't have been 'saved' by a fifteen-year-old cop in training. She shouldn't have been able to be 'saved' by a fifteen-year-old cop in training.

Sometimes, the kind of self-indulgent overpowered protagonist that Deku is can have its place, but BnHA as a story is trying to make a point, and Deku's role in the story actively contradicts its messages. BnHA is supposed to send a message of compassion and "everyone deserves to be saved" and whatnot, but then, not least because of its black hole protagonist, turns around and says that actually the mentally ill don't count, queer people don't count, anyone who's ever hurt a child doesn't count, anyone who reacts to trauma in the "wrong way" (with anger, irritability, etc) doesn't count, anyone who was subject to the wrong high-control group doesn't count, anyone who has the wrong idea about how the world should be doesn't count, anyone who isn't "sympathetic" for whatever fucking reason doesn't fucking count. Maybe I could just write Boku no Hero Academia off as a mediocre show if it had failed its goals in some other way, but as someone who fits just a few too many of the traits I just listed, it's hard to ignore the bigotry and judgement behind these contradictions.

And quite frankly, this shit makes me mad.

[calliecat93]

Valentines' Day List: Ranking The Disney Princess Couples

Happy Valentines Day everyone! Whether you are with the love of your life, still waiting for Cupid's arrow, or are 100% happy single, I hope that you are having a wonderful day. So for the past couple of years, I've been doing lists for the holiday. A Top 10 Ships list (that is now outdated hence why no link), Top 10 Disney Couples, Top 5 Disney Love Songs, and a Top 5 Spones Episode List for Star Trek TOS. What's in the cards this year?

Well after forgetting, the only thing I could come up with was a Ranking List. In this case, we're going through all the main Disney Princess pairings and I will rank them from least favorite to favorite. I'm also going to count Frozen cause why not? However, this will NOT include Merida, Moana, and Elsa as they do not have any canonical love interests at the time of this writing. Also a note for Pocahontas, I am focusing this based simply on the context within the film. We know about the inaccuracies and such that I don't feel like going into here, so just be aware that I am talking about the pairing simply based on the in-film interpretation. And of course, these are just my opinions, so please take it all with a grain of salt.

Everything clear? Good. Then let's begin!

#11. Snow White/The Prince

Right at the bottom is the first ever Disney Princess romance. No, it has nothing to do with the whole 'he kissed her while she was asleep' argument. People have tried to demonize the film by saying the prince denied Snow White's consent and I could write a whole essay on why that's stupid... and I kinda sorta did a few years back. But The Prince is ultimately a plot device with little to no screentime and not even extended material to y knowledge has seemed to do much to further the relationship. The guy doesn't even have a name (Florian is the one I see pop up the most but IDK how official it is). It may be one of my very few fleeting hopes for the remake to explore like they did Cinderella.

That's pretty much my only complaint. It's fine. It's cute. I'm happy that Snow White is able to finally be happy after all the Hell the Queen put her through. But that's really all that I can say about it. It's just... a thing that exists cause we need the kiss to awaken Snow White. But hey, everything's gotta start somewhere and without this we wouldn't have had anything else. So it deserves our respect.

#10. Anna/Kristoff

Back when Frozen came out, it was praised for addressing and calling out Disney's cliched 'fall in love at first sight/marry a guy he girl just met' trope. It's meant to be against rushing romance, especially when you know absolutely nothing about the guy... and then proceeded to do precisely that with Anna and Kristoff. Oops. I think the two are cute and fit together, don't get me wrong. But Dear God their development is REALLy bad. It's very rushed and comes out of nowhere which I wouldn't have an issue with... but because the movie outright rubbed in our faces how you shouldn't do this and that is a bad thing, it makes it really hard to ignore. And trust me, I tried. And no, Anna waiting like... a day or so longer than with Hans doesn't excuse the execution. Really the whole message when taken as a critique of the there Princess films is incredibly problematic and outright inaccurate, but that's for another day.

I go back and forth on how much I like these two as a couple. You can even see how different my opinion was back when the film first came out. Anna is my favorite character while Kristoff is okay and gets more 'meh' as time passes. I watch them during the movie and like their interactions, but they come off more like bickering buddies than anything prior to them finding Elsa. Then Kristoff worries and cares for Anna... and then Fixer Upper happens and it feels even MORE forced. Then in Frozen II, Anna misunderstands Kristoff various times and ultimately ditches him without really any thought or care about it in order to support Elsa. Which is great, sisterly love and all and to be fair she did apologize, but it really shows how much the film really didn't care about their relationship. That's not going into how the movie in general treated Kristoff as useless with even Olaf being more relevant and like he was just there cause there would be questions about where he was otherwise. But then we get to him proposing and Anna's reaction and... God these two give me so many mixed signals.

If I have to accept that Frozen III is happening, I REALLY hope that they give Anna and Kristoff the treatment that they deserve. Because ironically in the first film's attempt to call out rushed romances, it created one itself with all the problems that it tried to criticize its predecessors over. It's far from the worst romance ever, it has a lot of cute moments and I do think that the two are a good match. I just need the films to realize that.

#9. Pocahontas/John Smith

As I said, we are going to just focus on how this is presented in the film and leave it at that. These two are... okay. Pocahontas is a film that legit gets me emotional and has since I was a kid. But looking back, even now knowing the actual history, I wonder '...why did this have to be a romance at all?'. I know they were going for a Romeo and Juliet vibe, but I feel like it may have been stronger had Pocahontas not been aged up and just became friends with John, ultimately willing to risk her own life to save him and stop the bloodshed. It would certainly cause fewer ugh... unfortunate implications, let's just say that.

I feel like I like the atmosphere and presentation more than the actual relationship. The film has so much beauty and Alan Mencken's score is just so beautiful. Whenever I watch everything from Pocahontas visiting John before his execution to the very last scene of her waving goodbye as the ship sails away... dang it, the emotions! You all have no idea how many times I've listened to the end credits version of If I Never Knew You. There is a reason I listed that as my Favorite Disney Love Song a few years back.

But once I finish the movie and get back down from the emotional high, I think it over and again go '...why is this a romance? did it really need to be?'. And I kind of just forget about it until I decide to put the movie on again. I can never bring myself to hate this film due to how it impacted me, though I acknowledge its problems and how upsetting it can be for people. But ultimately the romance is just forgettable at best to the point that I sometimes wonder if the second movie pairing Pocahontas with her RL husband John Rolfe really was that bad of a move. But best to not think too much more on that

#8. Aurora/Phillip

This is Snow White/The Prince done better. Not a surprise since the film reused some of the early ideas for Snow White, but still. Of the three original princesses, this is the best-done relationship. This may make you wonder why Cinderella ranks above it, but I'll go into that in that entry. So these two are cute. Phillip certainly proved his love by fighting Maleficent and her forces and by his kiss awakening Aurora. As I said above, the 'the kiss was non-consensual' argument is a non-issue for me and we're just gonna leave it at that.

There's not a lot more to say honestly. They had a bit more development in their meeting than Snow and her prince did, we have Phillip saving her, and... yeah that's it. I don't dislike them by any means. I can't think of any negative points aside from maybe it's rushed, but that was just the nature of things back then. It's a Hell of a lot better than how it goes in the original stories. I like it better than the other three I already listed, just not as much as the seven below. That's really it. Sometimes you just like something cause you do, nothing wrong with that.

#7. Mulan/Shang

You would think that this would be near the top considering that Mulan is my favorite movie of all time. But I never loved it due to its romance, which while not irrelevant is a side-element compared to it being so major in the other seven previous films. Mulan isn't driven by love like Aladdin and Aurora, nor is it love at first sight like Snow White and Cinderella. She meets Shang while posing as a boy and he's her commanding officer. Before we go further, for this film at least Shang being Mulan's superior is a non-issue, especially since nothing happens until Mulan's out of the military anyways.

These two are cute. They start off simply as commander and trainee and Shang is frustrated with 'Ping', even kicking 'him' out. But Mulan refuses to give up and earns Shang's respect, and even friendship. She outright risks her life to save him during the avalanche despite being injured, that's nothing to sneeze at. She's clearly crushing on Shang and Shang may be crushing on 'Ping', I'm not very qualified to go into that since I honestly never saw it. His feelings get more complicated after discovering the truth and he's upset... but it doesn't last too long with him ultimately trusting and accepting Mulan and her abilities. Then we get awkward Shang at the end and it just cracks me up XD

We end the film with the early signs of them forming a relationship and being able to get to know each other. Shang gets to know Mulan as she truly is. Mulan gets to know Shang away from the battlefield and from him being her captain. Mulan II focused on them getting engaged... and that's all I wanna say about it. Yeah, as much as I love Mulan and like the two fine, the romance meant very little to me over the focus on finding one's true self. But I know that especially for the bisexual crowd, Shang was so important to people and this relationship in turn means something to people. And that is a beautiful thing. But for me they're good and they rank above the others cause it's Mulan.

#6. Belle/Beast

There was a time when I was indifferent to the film, let alone the romance that is at the heart of it. But now that I'm older and especially seeing all the arguments about them from all sides, those times have changed. I love them. Are they perfect? No. Beast is a temperamental brat who only wants Belle's love to break the spell. Belle is there only because she took her father's place and wants nothing to do with the Beast and his behavior. It seems like they're a match made in Hell... but then something happens. They change. Belle, after the Beast saves her from the wolf, is grateful and ultimately tends to his wounds because she's just too kind, but still stands up for herself. Beast, touched by this kindness, finds he wants to return it and starts to experience happiness for what may be the first time in his life.

When it becomes clear that the Beast is a damaged person who despite his issues is able to make himself a better person is when things change. The Beast doesn't become kinder for Belle... well okay maybe a little but that's not the main thing. The Beast became kinder because of Belle, as shown when he gives up his chance to become human again so that Belle can rescue her father. Why? Because he loved her so much that he let her go. And Belle tried to defend the Beast from the village and returned to try and save him, proving how much she'd grown to care for him.

The Beast gave Belle the one thing that she wanted: to be loved for who she was. Not because of her beauty. Not as some kind of trophy. But because the Beast genuinely loved her. A love that she returned and thus freed the Beast from the curse. It's such a beautiful love story. Is it for everyone? No. As much as I've disagreed with some of the arguments, I can see why the Beast's behavior may make people uncomfortable and how it may enforce an 'I can change them!' mindset even if indirectly. But I think that this is that kind of story done well with Belle never letting the Beast treat her poorly and the Beast taking it upon himself to change. They bring out the best in each other and earned their happy ending. And when it comes to tales as old as time, that's all I could ever want.

#5. Cinderella/Prince Charming

Some of these rankings were due to movie preferences. Chances are I would have ranked Aurora/Phillip above Mulan/Shang, but since I had similar feelings about both it boiled down to me liking Mulan more than Sleeping Beauty. Which is why Cinderella/Charming ended up here in Number Five. Let's face it, they have a similar issue as Snow/The Prince with Charming IDT ever having an on-screen name until the live-action remake. If I was counting the remakes I would use Ella/Kit's relationship as a justification for the placement and it may have even been higher, but I'm not so ah well.

Some of it boils down to nostalgia. Cinderella was one of the first movies I ever saw and is very special to me. Another big reason is what the relationship means for Cinderella herself. Cinderella endured significant emotional abuse, but always found a way to remain kind. Especially after her step-family destroyed her mother's dress, seeing her at the ball and just so happy as she dances with the prince is beautiful. And Charming looking up, seeing her, and forgetting about everything else as he personally approaches her, especially with how bored he'd been with all the girls going up to him? Perfection. 100% perfection.

Sadly, Charming has the same issue as Snow White's prince in being more of a plot device than an actual character, hence why I can't rank this higher. To Disney's credit they have given Charming a few moments of characterization in other works such as the DTV films, the third one especially doing him a LOT of good. But even without it, sometimes you just like a ship because you like seeing the one-half happy. Seeing Cinderella happy and loved at long last? How could I ask for anymore reason to love these two?

#4. Ariel/Eric

These two are adorable and I love them. Is it another fast-paced one? Yeah, although at least we kind of have a justification for it. Speaking of said justification. Yes, Ariel made a rash decision in becoming human. Does that make her and Eric's relationship bad? No. Eric is what Ariel always imagined about humans. He's friendly, brave, and outright risks his life to save his dog. Who wouldn't fall for that? He's also the first human that Ariel got to see up close and thus she becomes infatuated. Chances are it would have stayed like that if her father didn't take the actions that he did and Ursula used Eric as the catalyst for Ariel taking the deal.

When we finally get the two to interact, it's just adorable. Ariel is living out her dream with her crush. Eric, although infatuated with the mermaid that saved him, is nothing but kind to Ariel. He, a royal who could leave Ariel with anyone else and leave it at that, takes what he thinks is a shipwrecked mute girl back to his home and gives her the royal treatment just because he's a good man. The two's interactions are just so cute with Ariel being so excited and expressive even without her voice and Eric being won over. It's just... dang it they're so cute!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Is the pairing perfect? No. I get it, it's rushed and overly idealistic. Do I care? No. It's a Disney Fairy Tale. I'm here for the warm fuzzies, not cynical reality. And these two ALWAYS give me the warm fuzzies. It's at Number 4 only because I think the Top 3 have more development between the pairings, but it's still in one of the top spots. People will likely always criticize the movie for Ariel and her decisions and I guess we'll see if the remake addresses those things. But for me, I'll always love these two and getting to be a part of their world.

#3. Tiana/Naveen

This could have easily been a miss. Tiana's an independent working woman aiming for her dreams, sacrificing any free time and personal life to do so. Naveen is a spoiled playboy who loves to party and has no sense of responsibility which has caused him to be cut off and left to his own devices. They are such opposite personalities. It would be so easy to make us hate their interactions and make the pairing seem forced. But despite how fast-paced it is, it doesn't feel forced at all.

Not only is it fun to watch these two bicker and clash over their differing lifestyles, but they really did need each other. Naveen needed Tiana to realize his flaws and find the initiative to both take responsibility and have the drive to care for someone outside himself. Tiana needed Naveen to realize that there's more to life than just working and to see that even if she can't reach her dream she has what she needs: love. It's so cute when the two start to bond and start to realize what the other person needs, willing to sacrifice their own needs for that person. They even accept being frogs when it seems they've lost their chance, happy that they can be together.

As I said it's very fast-paced. It's kind of a common trend in the Disney Princess films directed by John Musker and Ron Clements. Yet they somehow do it SO freakin' well. Like I said it was so easy to screw this pair up, but Tiana and Naveen are well-written characters who don't cross the line into annoying and their development comes off as more funny and sweet than annoying. They're great and I love them~!

#2. Aladdin/Jasmine

I adore them so much. I can say that about most of these, but these two? IDK what it is. Maybe it's A Whole New World. Maybe it's the beautiful magic carpet ride along the night sky. I don't know, but I know I love it. Aladdin's a street rat who wants to be seen as more. Jasmine is a princess who just wants her freedom. When the two meet it's love at first sight. Their interactions are so cute and natural and their chemistry just sparks instantly. Despite being from completely different worlds, they connect to feeling trapped in their lives and it's just so beautiful and God I love it~!

The only issue is Aladdin feels unworthy because he's a street rat and Jasmine is obligated by law to marry a prince. Thus once he gets the lamp, he decides to lie and act like he thinks a prince would. What goes horribly wrong as Jasmine is no prize to be won. She liked Aladdin because he treated her as a person and related to her. As far as she's concerned, Prince Ali is just another stuck-up asshole who wanted her for her looks and money and she ain't having it. It's only when Aladdin drops the act and acts like himself that he starts to win Jasmine over, even if he still lies once she figures out he was the same boy she met before.

Once the truth is revealed and Aladdin proves himself by saving the kingdom, the two are free to be together. Aladdin chooses to be true to himself. Jasmine is given the freedom to choose who she wants to love. Jasmine loves Aladdin because he loves her for her. Aladdin loves Jasmine because of her independence and beauty inside and out. It's again a very fast romance, arguably the biggest offender of the 'love at first sight and makes bad decisions due to it' argument (which ironically Aladdin is probably THE most guilty protagonist of this yet he never gets heat unlike the girls, but that's all I'll say). But I don't care. They are adorable and the extended material, DTVs, and the series only made me love them more. I recommend the episode The Secret of Dagger Rock where you get to see what happens when you both kidnap Jasmine's man AND make her mad. You'll NEVER question why Aladdin fell for her when you see that XD

As much as I love these two, there was only one real choice for number one. And it wasn't even close. You all know what it is.

#1. Rapunzel/Eugene

I normally hate going for the obvious, but sometimes there's a reason that it's... well, the obvious. I love these two together so much. Admittedly that can be blamed on the series to some degree, which also really helped Aladdin and Jasmine be in the number two spot. But even discounting that I just love their relationship so much. It starts off as hilarious then becomes sweeter and sweeter until by the end you're bawling your eyes out from sadness then from pure happiness.

Rapunzel is a sheltered girl wanting to see beyond her tower. Eugene, going by Flynn Ryder, is a thief pretending to be something he's not. When the two meet at first Rapunzel has him agree to take her to see the lanterns and Flynn is trying to trick her into giving back the crown he stole. But ultimately they start to bond with Flynn revealing his true name and Rapunzel letting him know about her magic hair, Rapunzel is finally able to connect with someone away from Mother Gothel and Eugene is able to be himself and trust someone after only being with himself for so long.

There are just so many beautiful moments after that. The two having fun in the kingdom with Eugene going out of his way to ensure that Rapunzel has the best time imaginable. The two talking about dreams and finding a new one. The entire I See the Light sequence, which is one of the most beautiful Disney moments ever. Then the ending where Rapunzel is willing to be locked away by Gothel forever just to save Eugene. Eugene, despite dying slowly and painfully, cuts Rapunzel's hair to free her. "He chooses that over his own life"You were my new dream." Just... just everything oh my God. Now, of course, Eugene survives and the two get their happily ever after, and out of all of the happily ever afters, theirs feel the most powerful and it only got better in the series.

Just talking about it now makes me emotional. It's just so beautiful and pure and everything I dream of when it comes to love. These are two people that found what they needed in each other and they're both willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for the other's sake. It's done in such a fun yet beautiful way and I just love them. I know I've said that about almost all of these, but this one? Aside from Mickey and Minnie, this is the best romance that Disney has ever done bar none. It is my favorite of the Disney Princess romances and while I know to never say never, it's gonna be tough to ever top this one.

And that's all for this year! Hopefully next year I won't forget. Maybe I'll finally do a new version of that Top 10 OPT list, we'll see. But thank you all for reading and have a Happy Valentine's Day~!

[caxycreations]

Character Intro - David Seltz

David is a caxy, which is a hybrid of a domestic cat species and any fox species. There are many, many varieties of caxy and they can take after either parent, but David in particular is a hybrid of Russian Blue domestic housecat and Arctic Fox.

In the world of Relan, due to the lack of any Earth countries, specific breeds such as "Russian Blue" are known by other names, be it our own alternate names for them or names unique to Relan. In David's case, he's known as a hybrid between a Maltese housecat and Snow Fox.

He is five feet and four inches tall, twenty five years old, and while he is biologically male, he is unbothered by gender concepts and will answer to "he/him", "she/her", or any combination. He has a fox-like face and a cat-like tail, with a feminine figure and the slender form typical of smaller feline species.

While he prefers masculine partners, gender is secondary to him and his preferences focus more on personality and personal connection than they do on biological aspects.

He has a twin sister named Davina.

His fur is mostly grey, though he has a white underbelly that stretches from his bottom lip down his chin, the front of his throat, to the edges of his shoulders and back inward, covering most of his chest and extending further down along his belly and inner thighs. Around the lower end of his ribcage, there are two "spikes" of white fur that stretch to his sides. The white of his inner thighs curves further back and up along his backside, ending at the base of his tail.

His tail is ten feet long, a genetic mutation he and his sister share. He also bears very dark markings in addition to his lighter fur. His eyes have dark rings of fur, almost black in color, with white fur appearing similar to "eye bags" underneath the dark rings which, in combination with his typical relaxed expressions, give him an eternally tired appearance. He also bears "fingerless" and "toeless" markings, his fingers and toes being the same dark color as the rings around his eyes.

His eyes are a deep, "true" blue, and due to another mutation present throughout his lineage his eyes bear a bioluminescent compound, causing them to glow somewhat. This glow seems to brighten during periods of intense emotion, though this is just because his eyes are typically half-lidded or otherwise relaxed, and as his emotions grow in intensity he opens his eyes further, the glow becoming more visible.

It is especially noticeable in dark or blacklight environments, where his eyes seem to shine brightly. His hair is very dark brown and covers his left eye at all times. It is long and fluffy, and extremely well kept. His fur and hair are both incredibly soft and smooth to the touch, a product of his extensive self-care routines.

He also bears three noticeable, though faded, bite mark scars: A bite from a feline on his throat, the most prominent scar, and the oldest. A bite from a canine on his right trap muscle, where his shoulder meets the base of his neck. A bite from a dragon on his left shoulder, the least healed and the most recent.

David is playful and friendly, wearing his heart on his sleeve with little filter. This leads to him being a very honest and open individual. He looks for the best in others and withholds judgement as long as he possibly can.

He is quiet and somewhat shy in most situations, but doesn't let that stop him from being who he is. He enjoys talking to others, and while he may have difficulty initiating conversation, once it's begun it's difficult to get him to end the conversation unless the other/others taking part lose interest.

David enjoys old westerns like Lucky Duke, Smoking Barrels, and The Gunslinger. His favorite is Lucky Duke, and he's seen every single episode ever made at least fifteen times.

He has a love of music, and enjoys any music that gives him a desire to dance. Because of this, genre rarely comes into play with him and he can enjoy nearly anything so long as it has an upbeat tempo or a clearly defined melody to it.

Born from his love of music and dancing, he frequents the local clubs and is seen visiting them every weekend without fail. While once upon a time he was quite promiscuous, he has since calmed down and visits solely for the atmosphere and the fun of the dance floor.

His favorite scent is mango, and he always smells of it due to his favorite soaps and shampoos being lightly mango scented. His favorite food is chicken curry, and he keeps the ingredients for it stocked at all times.

He works as a barista at Coffee and Cream Cafe, known locally as "C Squared Cafe" and is one of the more popular servers due to his friendly disposition and happy attitude.

He prefers more feminine clothes, and is often seen wearing form-fitting clothing of lighter colors. The exception is his favorite outfit which differs greatly from his usual choices. His favorite outfit is a pair of tan cargo pants, a white T-shirt, and a dark sky blue high-collar zip-up bomber jacket.

He also owns a collar in his favorite color which bears a silver plate with his name on it. He can often be seen wearing it around the house, as well as to clubs and house parties.

Overall, David is an optimistic and kind-hearted soul that has little difficulty making friends. While his past is fairly troubled and painful, he refuses to let it hold him down and prefers instead to face the moment, living in the present and trying his best to be happy. His Blessing is Deep Bonding, with sincere mutual emotional connections becoming exponentially stronger over time than they otherwise would. Friends find themselves far more loyal to him than others, while those who love him and whom he loves develop a mutual sense of dedication to him.

Artwork by Presuk, found at the following: https://twitter.com/Presuk_ Telegram: @ Presuk

[janeeyreheresy]

Mind Games

Jane returns to Thornfield. She meets Rochester outside the house, where they hold a ridiculous conversation. 

Rochester: where have you been so long? 

Jane: with my aunt who is now dead. 

Rochester: a true Janian reply!

Universe grant me patience. What is so "Janian" about that reply? Pretty sure it's a normal person reply??? You asked her where she's been, she tells you where she's been. Which, by the way, you know because she told you when she asked for a leave of absence. 

Jesus Christ, this guy. 

Maybe he has memory problems. It would explain a lot. 

Okay, you can argue that as her employer, he has a right to be concerned, as she only asked for a week off and ended up being off for a month. But she has been in contact with Mrs Fairfax via letters. She would have explained her extended leave of absence in these letters. Jane is not the type of person who prolongs her holiday without explanation. Rochester, as usual, is full of shit. He tells her: 

“Absent from me a whole month, and forgetting me quite, I’ll be sworn!”

Because that's the way to talk to your employees.

I wish she would forget about you, Edward, what can I say.

This is Jane's reaction:

I knew there would be pleasure in meeting my master again, even though broken by the fear that he was so soon to cease to be my master, and by the knowledge that I was nothing to him: but there was ever in Mr. Rochester (so at least I thought) such a wealth of the power of communicating happiness, that to taste but of the crumbs he scattered to stray and stranger birds like me, was to feast genially. His last words were balm: they seemed to imply that it imported something to him whether I forgot him or not. And he had spoken of Thornfield as my home—would that it were my home!

You guys. She literally admits she's accepting his crumbs.

This is when Rochester calls Jane "Janet" for the first time. I remember how it confused me when I first read the book in English (there is no name change in the translation) because I didn't realise he meant it as a nickname. He stopped calling her "Miss Eyre" and switched to "Jane" sometime around the gypsy woman episode. 

They talk about the new carriage Rochester procured and how well it will suit his future wife. Who Jane understands to be Blanche Ingram.

Interestingly, Mrs Fairfax wrote in a letter to Jane that this match seemed strange to her. I'd like to know her thought process in this. Does Mrs Fairfax realise in her heart that Blanche can do better than Rochester? She doesn't seem to have a problem with Blanche, unlike Jane, but then of course she is not in love with Rochester. She'd keep the housekeeper position after they married, but Jane would lose her job as a governess, as Adele would be sent to school. Mrs Fairfax is therefore the more neutral observer. Blanche and Rochester have known each other for at least seven years, as Mrs Fairfax previously mentioned a Christmas party that took place then and Blanche was there. They had plenty of time to get married if they wanted to.

Certainly the owner of Thornfield Hall would be expected to marry. As Jane Austen famously said, it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

However, nothing further is said of the potential nuptials and there are no visible wedding preparations. Mrs Fairfax tells Jane that upon questioning Rochester on this, he answered something in jest. Trust old Edward on that.

Of course a housekeeper would like to know if a new mistress of the house was coming! Changes to the running of the household would be inevitable. But to understand that Edward would have to care about people other than himself.

I've not mentioned anything about the timeline. Jane arrived to Thornfield in autumn. Rochester entered the scene January the following year. The merry company was there in April. Jane is away for a month, comes back, a few weeks pass and now it's midsummer eve.

Midsummer eve *licks lips feverishly* you don't say?

Jane puts Adele to bed and heads to the garden. Rochester is there and they start talking. 

[prettyhennytea]

A Fun Filled Episode of Relationship Roller Coasters: Golf Games, Cooking Classes, and Slumber Party Revelations! Get ready for some entertaining twists and turns in the latest episode of our favorite urban reality show! The ladies of the group kicked things off with a friendly game of golf, while the guys tried their hand at a cooking class. The ladies were offered delicious cocktails as they competed to see who could hit the ball the farthest. Meanwhile, the men cooked up a storm, incorporating Jack Daniels whiskey into their dishes. Eugene took pride in coming out on top with his mouthwatering creation. As the ladies returned from their golfing adventure, Eugene couldn't help but ask Sweet Tea if Jackie had apologized for calling her 'babygirl'. Tension lingered, but Dr. G interrupted, believing that the girls had been getting along and urging them to move forward. Despite his efforts, Dr. Heavenly playfully honked the boat's horn, signaling that it was time to set sail. During the boat ride, Alicia took Jackie aside to discuss her feelings towards Sweet Tea. She expressed her satisfaction in not saying anything, but in a private confessional, disclosed that she felt obligated to apologize to Sweet Tea with a well-deserved slap to the mouth. At the same time, Sweet Tea with a well-deserved slap to the mouth. At the same time, Sweet Tea vented her frustrations to Toya, explaining how Jackie was provoking her. Toya encouraged them to confront each other, so Sweet Tea approached Jackie with tears in her eyes and extended an apology. Jackie agreed that making fun of Sweet Tea was uncalled for and was ready to let it go. They embraced in a hug, and with tensions eased, it was time for dinner. Alicia graciously brought Kema his plate of food, but things took a turn when Toya confronted Alicia about Kema's comment calling her 'well-trained'. Alicia defended Kema, claiming it was a joke, but Toya refused to take her word for it. This exchange led to Alicia telling Toya that she needed training herself. Simone chimed in, questioning Alicia's belief that men should treat their wives in such a way, and Alicia clarified that it's about keeping each other in check rather than literal training. She even threw in a playful remark about Toya needing a shock collar, adding some spice to the conversation. Back at the house, a slumber party was set up with snacks and drinks, but of course, there were some rules. Each couple received two envelopes with their names on them, containing questions they had to answer. Curtis and Jackie delved into major issues in their marriage, with Curtis pointing out social media and Jackie's attachment to her phone as factors. Alicia shared her frustration with Kema's investment choices, suggesting that they would be further along in their empire if he had focused on multi-unit properties instead of cryptocurrency. Kema proposed taking charge of their finances, citing Alicia's tendency to spend excessively. Simone questioned the couples' satisfaction with their sex lives, and everyone agreed, except for Phaedra, who was happily enjoying the single life. From golf games to cooking classes and revealing slumber party questions, this episode had it all. Be sure to stay tuned for more relationship drama and surprises in the upcoming episodes of our favorite urban reality show!

[mangosaurus]

@belladxne alright so first off we're gonna ignore the fact that it's taken me nearly four months to come up with a proper response to this. second off I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED! to answer your question, i wanna take a look at S3E01, "view from the top."

this episode juggles a few different subplots (sammy and kenji growing closer as friends, brooklynn and yasmina beefing it out and eventually learning how to work together), but, as expected, the one we’re going to focus on is that between ben and darius. when darius notices that something’s bothering ben, he makes it his responsibility to figure out what that thing is, in typical packleader fashion. now, we as the audience understand that darius only has the purest of intentions in this episode, but ben … he has a harder time believing this, and it's no fault of darius’s. 

keep in mind that even though they've been reunited for approximately five months at this point, ben still hasn't completely reintegrated into the group yet. one month might not be a long time under normal circumstances, but in a survival situation like theirs, it had given the campers ample time to form their own little network of unique relationships and dynamics. ben just ... wasn't there for that. he was out in the jungle, alone. and what did he learn while he was out on his own, unknowing of when he–if–he would ever get off the island? that he's the only person (keyword being person) he can rely on, that he can trust—a sentiment he had already voiced when things only just started going downhill, before the monorail incident. so when darius finally cuts to the chase, asks ben how he’s been doing …

… yeah, it’s no surprise that ben immediately goes on the offensive. not only does he get angry, but he also accuses darius of colluding with kenji to pull out the rug from under him—not because darius gave him any good reason to suspect as much, but because darius hasn't given him a good reason to believe otherwise. guilty until proven innocent, basically. it's not fair, it's not rational, but i don’t think anyone could expect anything else from ben considering the things he’s gone through. and darius can't erase that—neither his trauma nor the person ben's become because of it (or at least in part).

what darius can do, however, is extend a helping hand. hope ben meets him halfway. ask him to put his trust in him; trust that darius won’t judge him, that he won’t hurt him more than he already has been. that's what i mean by implicitly.

does ben like this? no. it goes against every single one of his baseline instincts. but he still does it, eventually. with great caution, sure, but it’s more than what he’s willing to do for—further than where he’s willing to go with—the other campers. and that is exactly why darius’s trust is so valuable to ben: because ben putting his trust in darius is possibly the biggest compromise darius could have asked of him, and yet ben still does it anyway. it's only natural he'd want it in return.

man. ben asking darius why he won't trust him during their big fight in "a shock to the system" just hits different when you realize that ben's trust is all darius has actually asked of him up until that point (explicitly and implicitly), and although he's expressed hesitation and doubt, ben's ultimately relinquished it to darius each and every time. so when darius can't seem to return it—that trust, the thing that ben's always been wary of giving out—it hurts, and you can see it in his face, hear it in his voice. it isn't just that darius has disrespected him by undermining him & his autonomy; it's that, in ben's eyes, darius is violating everything their relationship has been built upon: trust.

[trinarysuns]

Earthspark theorycrafting time

Okay okay it's time for my favorite part of new TF content which is: wild extrapolation of what little we know into a house of theoretical cards which will no doubt be wiped out by the next episode to drop. Spoilers for the first 10 episodes of Earthspark abound after the cut, obviously.

So, without further ado: something is rotten in the town of Witwicky.

We don't know much about the war. Not why it was fought, or what exactly happened in it, or how it came to end—only that the spacebridge connecting Earth and Cybertron was destroyed, and according to Alex's simplified G1-esque retelling, Megatron just went "hey maybe Optimus has a point that we should stop fighting and preserve what's left of our race" and teamed up with the Autobots to end the war.

Just Megatron. Not a single other Decepticon. Not even ever-loyal Soundwave followed his lead. Even if we accept that the retelling is a highly sanitized and manicured version of what actually happened (like the thing about how Bumblebee totally disappeared forever), it's a very strange thing, isn't it?

We'll come back to this.

In any case, Cybertronians have been on Earth for thirty years. Megatron has been cooperating with Optimus for fifteen of them. The Decepticons are implied to have been in bad condition by the end of the war (Soundwave, malfunctioning in starvation, and a cassette exploding inside him. Rumble or Buzzsaw, presumably. RIP.), and rogue Decepticons are still scrambling to feed themselves in the present day.

In the very first scene of episode 1, Swindle and Hardtop are lured into an Autobot trap baited with a few (rectangles???) of energon. Sure, it's stealing, but they're not actually doing anything wrong here but trying to feed themselves. Still, it's made clear their choice is to fight and flee or surrender and go to prison forever. No third option.

Swindle escapes when the chase is interrupted by spiderbots, but Hardtop is captured. Optimus notes the spiders aren't of Cybertronian make and wonders if this has anything to do with rumors Decepticons are going missing (yes).

Later, Dot Malto comes across the convoy's wreckage. Elita-1 and Optimus arrive, only to inform Dot that the park ranger job she thought she had—the one she moved to Witwicky specifically for—was a lie and that she's actually working for the secret US military agency GHOST. As you might guess, Dot does not like this.

Interestingly, she says she doesn't work 'for the Autobots' anymore. It's not the military she has the most problem with, but them. This may or may not have to do with the much-later-referenced battle of the bay, in which the Autobots did a lot of architectural damage and she was badly injured. Either way, whatever trust was once there is broken.

Then of course Megs makes his entrance. Dot's resentment for Autobots doesn't extend to him—curious, given that in Alex's G1 story they were 'heroic Autobots' and 'evil decepticons', and Dot was a soldier there to see it all firsthand.

Megs and Dorothy are immediately and obviously old friends, and both of them on better terms with each other than with Optimus. Heck, they have names for each other no one else uses. Human buddy acquired!

Megatron: GHOST isn't a perfect ally, but Optimus believes they'll help our kind make a home on Earth. Dot: Optimus always sees the bright side. Even when there isn't one. Megatron: Don't be so hard on him, Dorothy. Clearly we've had disagreements, but when I joined the Autobots to end the war, I saw that Optimus always does what he believes is right. No matter the personal cost.

Note, not 'what's right'. 'What he believes is right', no matter the cost. Cut to Dot frowning down at the ominously-shaped GHOST logo on the overturned truck. Hmmmm.jpg.

Meanwhile, the abducted Hardtop is being stripped for parts by the evil Mandroid (okay, his name's actually Dr. Meridian. Did you remember that off the top of your head? No you didn't. Mandroid it is).

Mandroid commands the spiderbots (arachnamechs), hates Cybertronians in general and wants them off Earth, is the one who's been disappearing Decepticons, and has just welded Hardtop's arm onto his own shoulder. Hardtop, as you might guess, is not happy to be here and says when Swindle shows up they'll beat him up. This isn't gonna happen, but we'll come back to that later.

Meanwhile, after a spiderbot battle, the Autobots find out about the new kids but don't know exactly who or what they are. Optimus says he'll contact GHOST to take Twitch and Thrash to HQ for safety (he doesn't question why the truck turns up like three seconds later). Optimus promises to keep them very, very safe, and Dot tells Mo they can trust Optimus, even though we know in general that she doesn't.

Surprise, the truck driver is Mandroid and the robot kids have been abducted. Who saw that coming? Two scenes later, Optimus has to come over like 'oops GHOST has no record of that truck, they could be anywhere, my bad'.

Wow, could it be? Maybe blindly trusting Optimus Prime all the time isn't a great idea? 🤔

Meanwhile, Mandroid is interrogating Twitch and Thrash on their origins, and when that doesn't provide much intel, straps them in for dissection under a very large and many-pointy-limbed device (with a laser on it too, naturally).

The autobots show up to rescue them. When the spiderbots aren't enough to repel them, Mandroid summons some Decepticons to help fight the Autobots off: Skullcruncher, Shrapnel, Hardtop, and Bombshell. This is where we get our first clue about what's going on here, but only if you know the Transformers Lore™. Again, we'll come back to this later.

Elita-1 (fighting Hardtop): Your heart's not in this, is it? Elita-1: Brain, either.

Then Bee shows up to help, as it turns out he didn't disappear forever (surprise!). In the end, all the Decepticons are captured.

Hardtop: Honest, I don't know what came over me. I'd never fight you, Megatron! No matter what side you're on!

And then there's this odd little moment. Blink and you'll miss it, because it continues into a cut where Megatron helps Dot down from his shoulder. In response to Hardtop's words, Megatron shoves him, then... Looks at his cannon.

Hmmm.jpg x2 🤔

This segues into family time and Dot insisting Twitch and Thrash stay with them, which Optimus is glad to hear. Also he doesn't want GHOST to know Bumblebee is alive. Seems like he doesn't fully trust them either.

...And now that we're out of the ep 1-2 two parter I can skim over most of the rest of the episodes, as, for better or worse, Earthspark is in large part the 'kids and robots petting cows and family game night' show with larger events happening in the background somewhere.

A few significant moments:

-Optimus, Elita-1, and Megatron hang out all domestic-like in the secret GHOST base under Dot's ranger station, presumably. You know. The one with the Decepticon prison in it, where they're all kept until, as OP says, there's a better option available.

-Alex insinuates he used to know Dr. Meridian during the war, and presumably was another science team guy before he retired to teach.

-Swindle breaks into a GHOST convoy to steal an energon scanner that could give him a lead on finding Hardtop but can't get through the forcefield, so scams Mo and Thrash into helping him. When the kids' parents find out:

Dot: You're different from Swindle! Cons weren't born into that life, they chose it. And anyone who wears that badge? Can't be trusted.

Mo: They aren't all bad. Right, mom? You're friends with Megatron.

Dot: That's different. Megatron has truly changed.

Has he, now? But again, just him and no others. And depending what kind of Decepticon backstory we're dealing with in this continuity, saying all Decepticons are evil and chose to be so is a hmmm.jpg x3. What's our IDW1 (or even TF:P) proximity here?

-Some random GHOST trainee almost shoots a kid

-The kids fall into a pit trap and Optimus gets some extremely ominous framing

-Optimus Hides the kids from GHOST inside his trailer, inside the GHOST base. Because Optimus Prime makes bad decisions.

Dot: Cheesy footage of Autobots helping humans build a bridge. Not very subtle. And what exactly does GHOST do with the Decepticons you catch? Optimus: That's classified. I'm sorry. Dot: Bots and humans working together is wonderful, but why the secrecy? And the hard sell? You sure you're on the right team, OP?

-Megatron refuses to use his cannon against the cassettes for 'childish pranks'. Optimus calls them criminals. Bee shows up with restraining bolts to mode lock the cassettes and Megs is disgusted.

Megatron: I will never touch those... Things. Optimus: A means to an end, Megatron: safely transporting our quarry to GHOST. Megatron: Optimus, does it not concern you that our human allies control where Decepticons live, and what form they take? Even in times of so-called peace? This is not freedom.

It's enough to start an argument between OP and Megs about the way the Decepticons are being treated, in which Megatron says I gave you my fealty to save our people, which is a very interesting choice of words. Fealty, as of an oath of service and obedience to a liege lord. This is not an equal bargain.

Later, battling Soundwave, Soundwave repeats his own words to him. This is not freedom. He calls Megatron traitor—and Megatron, about to fire, stops and looks shocked: as if the idea that to the Decepticons he is a traitor is somehow a new thought.

Add another hmm.jpg to the pile.

Later on, Skywarp and Nova Storm show up intent on stealing Optimus' arm for Mandroid. Hardtop's wasn't good enough, apparently.

Optimus: They want my left arm like their lives depend on it!

And you know what? When the two of them fail in their mission and Mandroid says he'll dissect them, they don't even try to fight that small squishy human. Wow, weird. And when we find out the terran bots were created via an artifact left behind by Quintus Prime, his squiddy little logo certainly doesn't resemble an upside down spiderbot at all. :)

But now we come to the really interesting part. Dot and Megatron are captured by Mandroid and the following conversation ensues:

Mandroid: Let me begin again. Conversation is difficult, after my time in the war.

Dot: You served too?

Mandroid: My contribution was scientific. I was drafted by GHOST to toil in their robotics laboratory. After a year of laboring on projects I detested, Decepticons attacked San Francisco. Dot: Yeah, I remember. I led an infantry platoon at the battle of the bay. Mandroid: Then perhaps you remember the Autobots' friendly fire destroying buildings. My arachnamechs dragged me to safety, saving me the only way they knew how. I came away with... Souvenirs.

You know what I think?

I think it's real suspicious that Hardtop went from wanting to kill Mandroid to doing his bidding without seeming to even understand why. I think it's suspicious that all those other Decepticons did too—they might stick around for fuel, sure, but not to protest even under threat of dissection?

Why did Megatron turn his back on his loyal army in such a way that none of them followed? Why did they go to ground rather than attempt switching sides? When did it become clear that there would be no switching sides, only life imprisonment for those who surrendered?

But not for Megatron—who has sworn fealty, who 'has truly changed' who is tame and obedient. The sole exception.

Remember episodes one and two? Remember who one of Mandroid's tame Decepticon squad was? Bombshell. You know what Bombshell's whole thing is in the lore? Mind control. Do you know what other two motifs are strongly associated with mind control in the Transformers lore?

Spiders.

Needles.

The biggest hmmmmm.jpg imaginable 🤔

I think maybe the emberstone wasn't the only thing Quintus Prime left behind. I think GHOST found whatever that bit of lost technology was during the war, and Mandroid reverse engineered it into the arachnamechs and the 'projects he detested'. You know who recognized who Quintus Prime was without even thinking about it? Alex, who once worked with him.

I think one day Megatron was captured, bolted to a table in a dark room, and came back different. I think Optimus was too happy about that change to ask too many questions, and GHOST would have done the same to the rest of the Decepticons if not for losing Dr. Meridian in the battle of the bay—and with him, all his research. Mandroid doesn't care about turning the Decepticons peaceful anymore, only using them as a means to the end of Cybertronian destruction.

Now all GHOST can do is capture Decepticons and lock them up until there's Optimus' 'better way': until they can reverse engineer Mandroid's work and shadowplay the rest of them into good little productive citizens... And hope their hold on Megatron doesn't break before then.

Never trust a mech with his needles in your neck. :)

[galactic-murmaider]

Some Offdensen Headcanons/Fan Theories (or: “Sed cur pateris?”)

Some of these I might flesh out into a fanfic, but then I remember of right I have two psychologists I've been neglecting for too long because I started watching the series just to get some inspiration and now oops now I'm obsessed with this show again and found a different middle-aged man to simp over. So for now enjoy some of my rambling nonsense. Also bear in mind this all pre-movie release so it is inevitable some of this will be completely wrong albeit if I do get anything right, my PayPal is right open /j. So without further ado:

1. When he was born

Little known fun fact, we actually sort of know when he was born to the point where I went ahead added it to his fan wiki page. In the episode “Dethsources” (S2E14) we see a first place plaque for a fencing tournament dated 1985.

I bring this up because with college sports there is no age limit ,your eligibility to compete expires after four or five years of graduating high school (so undergrad and maybe the first year of grad school) although the rules vary slightly vary depending on which Division it’s in and there’s small exceptions such as being in the military (we’ll get to that). So assuming Charles graduated high school at the typical age, he was roughly around 18-24 at the time putting his birth year between 1962-1967 putting him in about his forties for most of the series’s run. And naturally Metalocalypse being Metalocalypse I hereby propose that he might’ve been born in 1966. And if you want to be extra metal, probably on either June 6th or April 30th. Especially since if you believe a certain fan theory he’d technically be the Metalocalypse universe’s equivalent of the Anti-Christ albeit fortunate that he went the Hellboy route…which leads me to:

2. His family

CW: Brief discussions of dubious/non-consent (at least in the context of classic mythology)

I’ve read a few good fan fics so I’m gonna try not to copy others I’ve read too much,but to get one thing out of the way: it’s a modest bet but I somewhat subscribe to the fan theory Salacia is his father. It’s not a perfect theory, but I reblogged a post a while ago that makes a pretty convincing argument as to why that might be the case so I recommend checking that out so I won’t bore you with the full details. Only other thing about my interpretation of the dad!Salacia theory I’ll add for now is that Salacia probably conceived Charles for a specific, nefarious purpose (think Ego from Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2); unaware that he’d grow up to become the Dead Man. I’d probably imagine he used a similar technique to him shapeshifting in Doomstar Requiem to lovebomb and hypnotize Murderface to set him up for betraying the rest of Dethklok in that he courted Charles’ mother using a specific persona (probably without the hypnosis since I don’t want to go full sexual assault here but then again his name is possibly word play on “salacious”) for reasons that don’t really have roots in “love” since as far we can tell he sees most humans as pawns to him even if he’d probably have to at least seen “something” in her. Although we at least know that he stuck around for a while rather than the abandonment being immediate. And even regardless on if you believe in the Salacia theory, there is some indication that Charles grew up with an absent father since he refers to him exclusively in the past tense and seems oddly wistful about the subject in S3E5’s “Fatherklok” (again know this isn’t a flawless theory since that scene could have several possible meanings). And hell speaking of that episode, it’d make sense from a narrative perspective since gods seducing mortals (including taking other forms to do so) is a common theme in various mythologies, especially since for all we know Ms. Offdensen may not have been the only one.

…but enough of that for now, I’d probably imagine he was primarily raised by a single mother or extended family after his father left the family. I have plans for the latter but I’m keeping my more fan fic-y ideas under wraps for now (as tempted as I am to infodump about his mom and Uncle Ned). All I will add is that the personality I gave his mother kind of depends on what version I’m going with. He probably might also come from a more lower-middle or working class background since I think it might strengthen his character arc if he didn’t come from anything, especially if he had to claw his way to where he was at the start of the series even if it requires blood along the way (because capitalism gonna capitalism). Also depending on the nature of what Salacia’s endgame is, he potentially has several half-siblings he has no idea exists. Although probably was raised alongside his cousins in the extended family version of his backstory, he has “oldest sibling” vibes to me.

3. What was he like growing up?

For the most part not super different, he kind of gives off serious “grew up rather fast” energy. That is to say seems quiet and nerdy in the surface, except he could kick your ass even back then as a few bullies learned the hard way (“have you ever been kicked down a roller slide?”). After all as established earlier, he seems to have grown up without a father which can lead to aggression and other behavior issues in some children as shown in some real life studies, but it was more the pent up kind where it’s bottled up and then explodes under specific circumstances. So he was slightly more aggressive than usual at first and for all we know the fencing lessons might’ve been a way to provide an outlet for that. Especially since he was caught at least once in elementary school, with his guidance counselor being borderline-terrified of the possibility of him being a “budding psychopath” and being not sure how to feel after he became Dethklok’s manager and thus the richest and most powerful man on Earth. Although by the time we get to high school, yeah he’s more or less similar to how he is as an adult.

He had a mostly okay relationship with his family, albeit in the present he isn’t as close either due to being constantly tied to his work and/or there’s not a lot of his family that are still alive. That and he’s specifically from Narragansett, Rhode Island which I partially chose because of the water connection and also the fact that they have these towers that look semi-“metal” if you ask me

That and he had a near-death experience at age eleven in which he almost drowned and had these strange visions of five figures with a blazing star but that’s not important….and speaking of death, I guess:

4. Does he have a military background?

As far as I know yes, albeit he doesn’t like to talk about it, it’s at least explain how he has so many skills from marksmanship to being able to maintain his own private in the form of some of the elite Klokateers ,as well as how he was able to blend in so well during the nine months he spent infiltrating Crozier’s army between seasons 2 and 3. Although the exact details I’m having a hard time figuring out (other than he probably didn’t have any encounters with the Tribunal at least no directly), mostly because the US military did have some military action in the 80’s and early 90’s but not by much, as well justify the how or why considering the college exemptions, although my best guess might be taking a cue from The Two Of Us Are Dying only without the outdated information and saying it might’ve been a college scholarship thing after something happened regarding the fencing one. There is at least the possibility that he might’ve gone to a military prep school since bare in mind contrary to pop culture believes, they’re not reform schools for juvenile delinquents and is as selective as any private school, I doubt he’d at least turn the scholarship opportunities and the sense of structure even if being in the armed forces may not be his preferred career path…that and also you get a sword and we all know Charlie likes swords.

Although this one might need the most polish albeit I did as much research on this subject as possible. I have also considered the possibility of somehow he was a Tribunal agent that went rogue ,but I’m not sure if that would make sense. Also because Metalocalypse is Metalocalypse, I at least dubbed the school the Napalm Death Academy, who’s motto is “Sed cur pateris”. Totally no red flags and is certainly not secretly part of the Tribunal’s conspiracy….I’m running out of transitions so here’s the part you’ve probably been waiting for:

5. How he met Dethklok (and the early years)

CW: suicide ideation

He didn’t find Dethklok, Dethklok found him so to speak. It would especially make since thematically since the Metalocalypse universe runs on fate and destiny, in particular of the “everything happens for a reason” variety so it was likely a chance encounter. Possibly during a dark chapter in his life particularly of the quarter life crisis variety, in a way Dethklok gave him purpose and a reason to keep going. And Doomstar Requiem revealed that Dethklok had a manager before him (and I don’t feel like just calling him “old manager” the whole time so let’s just go with the placeholder name Blake for now). I’d probably imagine that this manager was only slightly more competent than Dethklok themselves and was prone to making bad business decisions. And while I feel like I could write a whole ass fan fiction about this, I’ll at least set the scene for the cliffnotes version:

It’s around the early to mid 90’s, Charles’s post-college career didn’t exactly go as he planned since he found himself unsatisfied and unfulfilled with his job and general life direction (possibly toppled by personal tragedy such as death in the family) to potentially even suicidally depressed levels. The stars somehow align one evening so that he hears an up and coming act that catches his attention rather quickly, he’d been a secret metalhead for a while to escape the stresses of his job (a la Aggretsuko) but this band was something else, something much greater. Although interacting with them and their manager after the show was a much different experience, but he couldn’t help but take in one piece of information…that apparently they weren’t even being paid for the gig and clearly they deserve better than being “paid in exposure”, so he abandoned any plans he might’ve had on ending his own life. In other words: Dethklok being high key stupid saved his life!

As for Blake, didn’t really take his job too seriously in the first place that lead to Charles picking up the slack even before becoming their manager officially; especially after miraculously making enough to quit his shitty old job and commit to the band full time, which eventually escalated into a falling out (probably when Charles arranged the Crystal Mountain desk which Blake thought was him being a “sell out”) that caused him to quit and walk out on the band. It took at least two weeks for Dethklok to notice he was even gone, thinking he’d just gone out to get cigarettes.

I apologize for being confusingly vague with some of these, but trying to balance whether or not I should spoil potential fan fic ideas or not. But Y’know what I can’t spoil?

6. Sexual and Romantic Orientation

Originally in the misc. section but actually it went on for so long it was graduated to it’s own section

But I think he’s most likely somewhere on the aspec since he’s one of the few male characters that expresses no interest in romance or sex (the closest we get to anything hinting at his sexuality being “Goingdownklok” which even then “No comment” could have several potential meanings). Kind of doesn’t help that the Church of Black Klok consists solely of men as far as we can tell and the back of the Season 3 DVD/Blu-Ray has a quote from Ishnifus about that how “none shall birth no more” which seems to suggest that it’s a “vow of celibacy” type of religious order, although again the fact that Offdensen is prepared for such a thing could mean multiple different things. Along with some other subtle and not so subtle hints such as Skwisgaar is the only one he doesn’t pal in the Season 3 extra around with due to him sleeping with a few women, and in the deleted scene from “Dethsources” during the counterpart to Melmord’s montage (there’s even purple lighting) . But still I’m also open to the possibility that he’s gay or even that he’s into women but a thousand times classier than Dethklok; it’s just him being asexual is the one I put the most stock in. Hopefully the new movie might provide a representation win, but we’ll see.

Furthermore, we know canonically from the episode Fanklok that even in-universe there are people that want to sleep with him, which makes sense considering how much the world practically revolves around Dethklok guaranteeing high status in this world just by association and people find money and power sexy and he is (or was) canonically the richest and most powerful man on Earth; so indeed people do try to make advances on him but he politely turns them down at every opportunity. I’d also probably imagine at least a few times there have been awkward moments where Dethklok groupies have tried to get close to him (drunk or otherwise) which naturally made him just a smidge uncomfortable if very good at hiding it. So basically for that reason he added a clause to the “backstage audience” agreement that any sexual activity or advancement is restricted only to Dethklok and that attempts on employees or other associates is strictly off-limits. Especially had to since one such photo leak. He does reluctantly let the smutty fan art be sold at Klokakon though since the artists are paying vendor prices to solicit there.

6. Other Random Bull🎸

Aka I’ve covered the basics so the rest of these will be mostly lighter and not tied to anything particularly grand

Another popular one to add: He is the voice of Facebones. My main argument being while I can maybe see why that scene from “Murdering Outside the Box” could be a mistake, at the same time if you think about it logically you’d need the voice actor to do the raffle live as well as the fact that throughout the series it is very convenient that he has videos on short notice for such things as the drum machine to replace Pickles while he’s in rehab and the Dethkones (especially since he was weirdly fixated on that for most of the episode). Initially he only did it because they were still a humble ragtag production and for once it was Dethklok that was busy and he wasn’t. They did try to replace the voice for Facebones once, but it resulted in mass riots in the streets and a few acts of destruction so Offdensen resumed the role rather quickly and structured his schedule in a way that he can record in a way that doesn’t interfere with his other duties. Facebones is a tightly guarded industry secret since he is rather strict about not doing the voice outside of official business (a la Frank Oz) and often they have to take *ahem* “drastic measures” towards anybody who finds out but won’t sign the NDA. Also he keeps a steady supply of water and honey lemon tea because of this and the band doesn’t know why.

If he had an “ancient animal form” I’d imagine it probably be a wolf both because it’s a badass predator of course, but mainly because wolves are considered amongst the best fathers in the animal kingdom due to how super protective and attentive they are of their offspring. Although if Salacia’s bloodline is a factor maybe his true ancient spirit animal is some cosmic abomination that would cause you to claw your eyes out when you see it, who knows?

He secretly watched Dethklok (sans Toki for obvious reasons) throughout Doomstar at a distance both because he could sense that Ishnifus was gonna die and that his ascension to become his successor was upon him but also to attest that they were truly ready and just plain old’ being able to “function” without him. Although even though his suicidal thoughts had been at bay for about fifteen years, he would have sacrificed himself for the Prophecy if he was able to.

His leather jacket outfit is sort of symbolism of the most crucial parts of his relationship to Dethklok: how they first met (or at least the version in my head anyway), his triumphant return in Renovationklok, and finally his departure in Doomstar. Barring how he’s probably gonna come back one last time in the new movie.

He has a bedroom other than his office in Mordhaus, we’ve just never seen it properly since he likes his privacy, and is currently Abigail’s. He also owns a few other smaller properties for the rare moments he has time off from Dethklok (although even he rarely wants to necessarily spend time without them).

He isn’t against the idea of having children, but even ignoring the asexual/possibly aromantic idea (although of course that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible, adoption exists even for single parents) he doesn’t think that it would really work out due to how chained to his work he is (possibly even speaks from experience being part of Gen X aka “the latchkey generation”), and he’s already a father figure to five grown-ass men so his found family is good enough for him.

The Church of Black Klok is a group of monks…that never said they were pacifists though, so I fully expect Charles to go full Alexander Anderson from Hellsing once he dies return!

So ummm that’s it, several days and getting sidetracked by vocational rehabilitation night classes later and I got most of my bases covered, although I might fix any mistakes I left and will maybe add more if requested via reblog. Special thanks to @cloudchaser2000 for suggesting that chef’s kiss title after I previewed the “Napalm Death” thing to them 😂 and otherwise being an awesome mutual.

[mochacoffee]

I created a 3D model and floor plan of Aziraphale’s bookshop in Good Omens!

I really wanted one for reference and it seemed like many others did too, so I put together my best approximation of where everything is. Beneath the color version, you’ll see I’ve included two simplified, labeled versions of the plan. The verbal labels are so you know what the object is. The numerical labels are there to make it easy to find more information about the object. I’ve put a numbered index below the cut that features the relevant reference images I used for each object and some more information about why I put it where I did/why it’s relevant/etc. I want to be very clear that I did not add anything to this from my own imagination; every single item and feature represents something I actually saw in the shop.

If you have any questions or want more information about this, PLEASE do not hesitate to ask! I put so much time into figuring it out and I would be more than happy to be a resource for anyone who needs it. Also, if you notice any errors, let me know and I’ll update the post. I hope this is helpful!

Update: Here’s a link to an interactive view of the shop! It takes a moment to load. You can click the “3D” tab in the top right to view it in first person and walk around inside. Double click a spot on the floor to move there and pan around by clicking and dragging. The oval symbol next to the person walking gives you a birds-eye view.

Update 2: Here’s a higher quality rendering of the first person perspective! Update 3: I made an alternate first person render here complete with a ceiling, light fixtures, and ambient lighting from outside. This one is optimized for making it seem more like you’re actually there, whereas the previous one is for maximum visibility. This render also has some minor accuracy improvements, which are detailed under the cut in the relevant sections. (The first interactive link with the birds-eye view updates automatically.) Update 4: In case you’re interested in Aziraphale’s books specifically, I’ve made a catalogue of those here.

1. Unknown closet

Images

There is a door behind Gabriel when he talks to Aziraphale in the backroom. So where does it lead? Well. The wall we can see behind Aziraphale when he encounters Shadwell in the shop (see #17: boxes/storage) doesn’t have a door in it. It’s also facing the wrong direction and it’s in the middle of the southwest wall ⁠— we know this because Aziraphale can see Shadwell in the entrance from there. So the wall behind him at that moment is definitely not the wall of the backroom. We’re left with this door and unaccounted-for corner. The only thing that makes sense to me then is that there’s a closet there between the two spaces. My personal theory is that this closet is “the back” that Aziraphale refers to keeping the Châteauneuf-du-Pape in since I didn’t see any other obvious alcohol storage space in the shop. Update: @n0nb1narydemon has suggested this could be a bathroom for guests or because culturally it’s a room you can use to extricate yourself from situations, which is another possibility! They also asked where I think the doors behind object #20 lead, and I thought it would be good to add here that they might lead to the shop next door or to this unknown room. It’s possible the room actually extends further into the next shop and encompasses the part of the wall where the doors are, but I didn’t have concrete evidence to support that idea so I didn’t include it in the floor plan. Update: I was wrong about the Châteauneuf-du-Pape! In the DVD bookshop tour we learn that the cabinet in the top left corner of the backroom is where Aziraphale keeps his alcohol, including that particular wine. I added a reference photo of Neil pointing it out. Thanks to @fuckyeahgoodomens​ for bringing the existence of this tour to my attention — ya girl got the special edition blu-ray even though I don’t have a blu-ray player yet so I hadn’t actually seen it. Also, there is a chair right next to this cabinet against the wall which I missed in my initial rendering of the shop but have since added.

2. Part of shop next door (top right)

Images

This was very tricky to figure out because you can see from the exterior of the shop that there is no wall past the back door, but from the interior there is clearly more space there. BUT in a behind the scenes photo of David during the fire scene, you can see on this back wall that there’s actually a nook with two large entryways, similar to the one that makes up the backroom. From the exterior you can see that the area next to the back door is taken up by the window of the next shop, so I concluded that this little square of space was not part of the bookshop’s interior, but the nook did extend further back than where the shop appears to end from the outside. I had to make one bookshelf more nubby than the others to make this work, but after a LOT of trial and error I decided one nubby bookshelf was the only thing that could explain the apparent architecture of the space. Any floor design that accounted for a bookshelf of the same length as the others just did not make sense on a fundamental level.

3. Part of shop next door (bottom left)

Images

From the exterior of the shop you can see that this window belongs to the adjacent store, as the wall is a different color. Within the bookshop you can also see when Gabriel and Sandalphon enter the backroom, there’s no window behind them; there’s a sink. So it’s definitely not Aziraphale’s window. The wall of the backroom is also further into the shop’s interior than the wall Aziraphale’s desk sits against, so there’s a corner of space inside that’s unaccounted for. At first I assumed it was plumbing from the sink that had been sealed off or something, but when I realized that’s where the window was on the outside, I figured the space is probably part of the next shop over.

4. Aziraphale’s desk

Images

This is where Aziraphale sits in the shop like 90% of the time. It’s on the Eastern side of the shop because Aziraphale was the guardian of the Eastern gate in Eden and because production designer Michael Ralph is a goddamn genius (source). Shout out to @posted-omens for this fascinating post analyzing the chariot sculpture on his desk. Update: Fun fact, the ladder behind his desk is actually called a library chair, supposedly designed by Benjamin Franklin. It functions as a ladder but you can also fold it into a chair! Neil mentions this in the DVD extra bookshop tour. I added screen caps of it to the reference photos above since I don’t have a specific section for the ladders!

5. Phone Aziraphale calls Crowley from

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I will be honest with you: I think there’s something a little fucked up about this corner. It is my nemesis. I tried so many things to make it work and I just could not get it exactly right, but what you see in the floor plan is my best guess as to what’s going on. The conundrum is that the spot where Aziraphale stands when he’s on the phone with Crowley is definitely closer to the fence around the staircase than it is in my layout. But the table he’s in front of is also clearly against the outside wall of the backroom, and the stairs being where I’ve put them here is the only thing that made sense based on the reference photos. So there’s some weird spacing issue where there’s a little too much room between the fence around the stairs and this phone. If I were to move the walls to close that gap then there would be way too much space in the backroom and way too little space on the southwest side of the shop, so I think the walls are correct as they are. So  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. What I can say for certain is that the phone is there and it’s on a table next to a lamp, and the table is definitely against the wall of the backroom and behind the staircase. The distance between these things doesn’t hold up perfectly, but their arrangement does. On another note, this is one of two phones in the shop. The other is on the table next to the cash register (see #9) which Aziraphale picks up when Crowley calls to say they need to talk about Armageddon. I believe this is the same one he uses to call Adam’s house in episode two, only he moves it from the table by the register to the top of a pile of books (which I’m pretty sure were stacked on the circular table between his desk and the sofa). Update: OKAY SO it turns out in the behind-the-scenes bookshop tour on the DVD we get two more teeny tiny glimpses of this corner! I added them to the reference photo album above. It appears I was right about the lamp, phone, and bookshelf being where they are, except that the bookshelf and table are touching. There’s also a ladder propped against the shelf. I’d say it’s possible there are actually two bookshelves here; based on the parallax in the DVD tour, the one next to the phone didn’t appear to be against the wall, but we know there is a bookshelf against that wall because we see it in the show. (P.S. There’s also another chair against that wall which I didn’t see because Aziraphale was standing in front of it, so I added that too.) This leads me to believe there’s one against the wall and another one further from it next to the table. But that’s just my speculation, so I won’t change the actual floor plan unless I find more evidence.

6. Where they’re drinking when Crowley realizes Adam has named the hellhound

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When Aziraphale sits down at this table, the background is of the same space he refers to as the “backroom” when Gabriel and Sandalphon show up. He’s across the table from Crowley, behind whom you can see a bookshelf, the staircase, and the coat rack. The table is half in the backroom half out, since the room has two large entryways in its wall. Update: I realized the wall behind this table actually dips back further! It is a weirdly-shaped wall! But in the DVD special tour of the bookshop Neil walks past it and there’s clearly an area that recesses even further, so I’ve modified that in the interactive floor plan :)

7. Bench of books that start the fire

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When Shadwell leaves the book shop and slams the door, one of the candles knocks over and rolls into a pile of books and other papers (including the Sound of Music lmao). You can see it’s the same bench the customer is standing in front of when he gives Gabriel a weird look after he yells about pornography. (I love this customer so much because they gave me a super HD shot of this particular area.) The poles of the fence around the bench, the staircase behind it, and the smaller shelves beside it holding Terry Pratchett’s books make it clear that the bench is in that spot in the shop and that it’s the place the fire starts.

8. Coat rack with Terry’s hat on it

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Aziraphale hangs his coat here right before Crowley calls him to say they need to talk about Armageddon. Out of focus in the frame you can see the lion sculpture that sits on the fence surrounding the stairs (see #11) and a bookshelf. The camera pans past the shelf and we see him walk past his desk to pick up the phone by the cash register, which puts that shelf right next to his sitting area. We can also see the coat rack in the background when Crowley realizes Adam has named the hellhound. The coat rack has Terry Pratchett’s hat and scarf on it in his honor (source).

9. Antique cash register

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You can see this register in the background when Crowley is on the couch and when Aziraphale invites Gabriel and Sandalphon into the backroom. I know it’s an antique cash register because it’s photographed and referenced directly on page 79 of the Good Omens TV Companion. It’s a typewriter in my floor plan because the website I used (floorplanner.com), who knows why, did not have a 3D model of a cash register from the early 1900s.

10. Back door

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Thank you so much to @fuckyeahgoodomens for this post where they figured all this out!! Wonderful work! You can see this door from the exterior of the shop and its existence is referenced in the Good Omens script book on page 94. It’s also in the background of a behind the scenes shot of Aziraphale pulling away the carpet so he can contact heaven. Behind him in that shot you can see the bust (which moves around a lot - see #19) and a grandfather clock, and in the show from one of the aerial shots you can see that the carpet is pulled west, further confirming the door’s location.

11. Fence around the stairs

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I have concluded that this is a fence to keep customers from going up to the second floor. It looks to be made of golden pillars with wooden shelving atop them. The fence crosses beneath the staircase on one side and the other side ends about where the stair’s railing does. You can see this fence behind Crowley when he realizes Adam has named the hellhound, behind Aziraphale when he calls Crowley to tell him he knows where the antichrist is, and next to the customer who gives Gabriel a look after he yells “PORNOGRAPHY!” It’s also visible in one of the aerial shots of the shop. Update: In the DVD extra bookshop tour I noticed the lion sculpture on this fence is not just a lion, but a lion with a woman holding its mane. I think it might also be a lamp? In one of the reference photos, the one that looks down from the second floor, it appears there’s a light in the woman’s other hand. I’d be interested to see if we can track down what this particular sculpture is and what it might mean. Update: @cantdewwrite has suggested here that the light/sculpture could be a replica of one of the bronze statues in the Victoria Memorial, which does look quite similar. I’m fairly certain Aziraphale’s sculpture is of a woman, which would make it the figure in the memorial representing peace.

12. Open book of illustrated story of Adam and Eve

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Shout out to @amuseoffyre for this post where she figured out what this was! Update: I’ve determined that this book is The Gospel in the Old Testament: A series of pictures by Harold Copping. The painting is, naturally, by Harold Copping. It’s called “Adam and Eve after the fall.” Unfortunately this book is out of print and I haven’t been able to track down an ebook or scan of it, so I can’t confirm the text just yet. But based on its premise, I think it’s safe to assume that it’s telling the story of Adam and Eve directly. Aziraphale has a second copy of this book visible on the shelf next to the sofa.

13. Antique computer

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This is the computer Aziraphale does his extremely scrupulous taxes with, as confirmed in this ask that @neil-gaiman answered from @prismatic-bell! It’s an Amstrad, according to the bookshop tour in the DVD extras.

14. Spiral staircase

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These stairs are in many shots of the shop so it was pretty obvious where they were.

15. Sink, teapots, etc.

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You can see this wall right before Gabriel walks into the backroom and behind Aziraphale when he’s drinking with Crowley at the end of episode one. It appears he has two hand towels, a ceramic angel soap dish (aw), some teapots, and a decorated box above it, among other things. On the floor beside the sink is what I believe to be a broom handle, though it could be a mop? Next to that is a bronze statue of an angel atop a small table piled with books. On the other side of the sink is an open book on a stand ⁠— it has a fabric bookmark in it with a crucifix at the end, so I’m assuming it’s a bible. Light reading while you make your tea I guess. Update: Thank you so much to @brightwanderer for pointing out in this post that he has four extra angel wing mugs above the sink as well! I couldn’t figure out what they were! Update: Neil said in this ask that you can see an oven by the sink when Gabriel and Sandalphon walk in. Which you can! It’s real small and there’s a little pot on top of it. I’ve added a screencap of it to the images album for this area. Update: I’m donating my heart and soul to @ack-emma for suggesting in the replies to this ask that the central object above the sink is a samovar!! I had never heard of this so I had absolutely no idea what it was, but I think they hit the nail on the head. Y’all Aziraphale really likes tea.

16. Sculpture

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Thank you @ineffable-endearments, @behold-my-squeees, @srebrnafh, @aethelflaedladyofmercia for contributing to this post about the statue and its potential symbolism! Update: @doctorscienceknowsfandom has added some analysis to the post above suggesting that this is a sculpture of Paris, the figure from Greek mythology. I’m inclined to agree! Update: BINGO! @tifaria​ has found Aziraphale’s exact statue (confirmed Paris!) in this post. Brilliant work!! This community continues to blow me away. Further discussion about the sculpture’s meaning in the context of the show here — be sure to check the notes for further commentary.

17. Boxes/storage

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These boxes and piles of books can be seen behind Aziraphale when he encounters Shadwell in the shop and behind Crowley while he’s rambling drunkenly about why they should stop Armageddon in episode one. They’re in a nook that goes further back than where the shop appears to end from its exterior (see #2 for more info on that!). 

18. Stacks of books

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You can see this stack in one of the aerial shots of Shadwell in the shop. I didn’t include most stacks of books in the floor plan because they’re literally everywhere and I had to manually set how high each book would be from the floor, so putting them in piles got tedious very quickly. But I did include a few notable ones, and this is one of those imo because there’s not much else in that area as far as I can tell.

19. Bust

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This little guy moves around quite a bit, unlike most things in the shop. In some photos/scenes it’s where I put it on the floor plan, but in others it’s closer to the northwestern wall and in this 360 video of the shop it’s right between two of the columns. I chose to put it where I did because it’s there in the scene where Crowley is drunkenly rambling about Armageddon, whereas the other locations I’ve seen it in were from behind the scenes shots and stuff. I’m not sure who the bust is of! It appears to have a little ribbon with a medal around its next though. Update: More speculation about the bust here, courtesy of @aethelflaedladyofmercia! Update: @fuckyeahgoodomens has confirmed in this post that the thing around the bust’s neck is the medal given to Aziraphale by Gabriel in this deleted scene!

20. Divider I think?

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Please for the love of god if you know what this thing is, tell me. My best guess is it’s a room divider because what else looks like that?? But I don’t know why you would put a room divider there. And it still doesn’t look exactly like a divider either. But the decorative element at the top and apparent gap between the metal frame and the red bit leads me to believe it’s not furniture or a box. This mystery object is my second nemesis after the weird corner (#5). Update: @brightwanderer has suggested that it might be an embroidered/tapestry draft screen, which I think makes more sense! Update: In the DVD extra bookshop tour I found a very brief image of this item over Neil’s shoulder which I added to the reference photos above. I think by some miracle I was right and it is a divider. It could be a draft screen but at the very least it is shaped like a divider with at least three sections. Wahoo!

21. Record player

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This is the phonograph that’s playing Franz Schubert’s String Quintet in C major (thank you again to @fuckyeahgoodomens for that info) when we first see Aziraphale in the shop. It also plays Queen’s You’re My Best Friend when Crowley runs into the fire.

22. Terry Pratchett’s books

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Another one of the many little Terry easter eggs in the show is this set of his books! @devoursjohnlock made a post highlighting some other specific books you can find in the shop.

23. Chess set

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I saw a post once pointing out this chess set and the implication that Aziraphale and Crowley must play together sometimes, which I thought was a really nice detail to put into the set. But I can’t find the post to credit it! I will update this with a link if I do. Update: Pretty sure this is the post I saw. Thank you to @losyanya for mentioning it :)

24. Circular entryway

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This is one of many circle motifs that production designer Michael Ralph incorporated into the shop. It’s gorgeous. I think there’s actually more room between the archway and the door than I’ve included in this floor plan; Shadwell takes a few steps through it when he runs out of the shop. But I think the fix is just the door being further out from the entryway rather than the entryway being further in. I didn’t want to fuck with the walls to improve this particular area because when I realized the spacing was wrong, I was almost done and would’ve had to manually move each object in the shop over a few inches over. Made more sense to leave the caveat in a footnote. Update: In the DVD extra bookshop tour you get a brief glimpse of something on the inside wall of the entryway. I think it’s a wall sconce or something along those lines. There’s one on either side. I added them to the reference album above! I also figured out how to extend the walls to accommodate some more space there without having to move everything else, so I did that. Update: Here’s a link to some meta discussion about the cupid sculpture in front of this entryway!

25. Sofa Crowley sits on when he suggests they could be godfathers

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You can see that the sofa is next to Aziraphale’s desk and the cash register, and also that there’s a bookshelf behind it. From the entrance to the shop you can see two bookshelves on either side of the central circle, so it was pretty clear that the couch was on the other side of one of those shelves.

26. Wall crucifix

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I find it very interesting that Aziraphale has this considering Jesus isn’t a big part of angelic lore or heaven’s general priorities in the show. It would make more sense to me that he has it because it’s another memento of his time with Crowley, sort of like the illustrated story of Adam and Eve by his desk (#12). Also, fun fact, the opposite side of this wall segment is where he put up all his maps and notes about the whereabouts of the Antichrist in episode three.

[decepti-geek]

I think the other thing Sarina and Melora have in common, though, besides being women, is that their relationships with Julian are nowhere near as developed going either forwards or backwards from Those episodes (which is probably, ultimately, to do with them being women too, but more on a meta level in terms of how the writers treated/viewed them [ie, less in need of that development] than really saying anything further about the power dynamic imo). Which means that pretty much all you get is Those episodes, and that's the extent of the relationship, and the direct power imbalance whilst Julian is actively providing care to them takes up a much, much higher percentage of the time dedicated to telling the story of their dynamic in total.

Like, I know Sarina is in an episode prior to Chrysalis, but that episode doesn't set up the strength of dynamic between her and Julian that even Past Prologue establishes for Julian and Garak. I can't remember if she does actually speak, but the writers didn't seem interested in doing anything much more with her than emphasising how being augmented had affected her, iirc. (And it's not like the relationship established in Past Prologue is super deep but it does at least... exist. And is then expanded upon in Cardassians). Like, in the text of the show, whether you're reading fic or not, there's a wider variety of experiences between Julian and Garak, that forms your impression of their dynamic, than there are to form your impression of things with Melora or Sarina. I guess in the sense that, the og garashir shippers also got the idea from somewhere, without any fic to read, and looking at what's just... in the show, I have a hard time believing that all of it would've begun with The Wire.

By the time of The Wire, there's already an existing, somewhat developed relationship outside of the episode-centric medical scenario, and neither Sarina nor Melora get that. I think if they had gotten more development of their (not necessarily romantic) relationships with Julian, in a volume even approaching the same with Garak (which... I would Not have wanted with the same writing team handling it, but in a hypothetical where you have the same conclusion of, he fucked up, and then extend the development of their dynamic either forwards or backwards keeping that in mind) - like, people have still found more to explore in fanworks anyway, but there would've just been more source material to use as a starting point for exploration in the first place.

If there'd been a comparable amount of screentime with either of them and Julian, to what he has with Garak, there would have just straight-up been more of an opportunity to explore/create a more involved, complicated relationship than the single instance which is kind of, singular and singularly focused because of media conventions apart from anything else. And probably some hypothetical fan responses to something like that would be that the incident of abuse is all that matters and anything else is superfluous. And probably some responses would have been to romanticise a bunch of stuff (especially at the time it aired)... like, honestly, I think part of the reason it feels like there's such a consensus on the Sarina and Melora stuff is because the Stuff is little and unambiguous enough (even in spite of the poor handling of it) that it's easy for people to reach that consensus. And I think in a weird roundabout way, that's also to do with them being female characters, but less maybe to do with the fan response, and more like, what the fans had/have that was there to respond to.

I also can't help feeling that the fact Julian and Garak's relationship continues to develop after The Wire - the after being where the greater quantity of their interactions happen - would be likely to colour any rewatch of The Wire (not even just in terms of a romantic relationship so much as simply, the level of participation in whatever relationship it is that they have), even if you never read a single word of garashir fic. Like, same as the above - Melora and Sarina may as well have left Julian's life once their Episodes are done, and whether that choice is more informed by standard TV episode format, or by the writers making character choices, it reads as their response, and that response also colours how Julian's preceding abuse of power is interpreted. I'm really not sure that if that hadn't been the case, the aforementioned consensus would seem so unanimous.

And I'm definitely not suggesting that a character's continued involvement is some kind of failsafe against the possibility of an abusive dynamic. But I also think that without any real information provided, or ideas explored within the text, about how willing/aware a character is to continue in a relationship that contains the possibility of something like that (in part because touching on something like that for Garak and Julian probably would've set off Berman's kill bill sirens)... I don't know that it's as easy a thing to call, even if you're fully aware of the implications. Or at least, I think that, since it's a work of fiction, it opens itself up to multiple interpretations (because there's space to speculate on those interpretations, because there's no danger of getting it wrong according to concrete facts, and someone being harmed as a result). And I think this interpretation is definitely an important one to bring up! But I don't think that as-written in the show, it defines the relationship in nearly the same way as the same for Melora or Sarina. And I don't think that either is specifically a good or a bad approach, at least purely in terms of how easy it is to interpret the characters' dynamic. I also think that the nature of the writing itself shares some influence with individuals' viewpoints, when it comes to interpreting those dynamics.

My other thing about Julian being the one to treat Garak is that even before you get to the story beats/plot devices that only Julian would've probably been told about - Garak was refusing treatment. Part of the reason for that was about concealing the implant's existence/nature, but even after that's found out, Garak still refuses the infirmary, and his response is... I mean Julian, in his dialogue, chalks it up to an issue of dignity, but honestly I see no reason why, from a medical standpoint, it wouldn't be treated as a problem related to vulnerability, even if the vulnerability is only perceived, since even then it could still potentially cause significant distress. Particularly when the patient may be in an altered mental state.

Garak doesn't want to be in the medbay for reasons of privacy, and because, I mean, whatever else he is, he is one, currently very physically and mentally vulnerable Cardassian, on a Bajoran station, where the medical team besides Julian is primarily (maybe entirely?) made up of Bajorans. And idk if it'd necessarily be at the front of Garak's mind, but we as an audience know that Maritza got stabbed last season. I don't think aspersions of any kind like that on the medbay team are at all fair, but if that's anywhere in the region of where Garak's mind might be at while he's sick like this, I'm sure that in itself would be a cause for concern in a medical sense.

Point being - wouldn't that kind of be an ethical dilemma in and of itself? Do you ignore the patient's wishes entirely and force them to undergo treatment (which, honestly, may turn out to be palliative care, if a solution can't be found) according to recommended standards, and risk causing them significant psychological distress when they're already vulnerable, possibly at the end of their life, but possibly causing long-term complications in the process if they do survive? Do you treat that as the only available option and otherwise allow the patient to die? Or if the option is there, do you give them an alternate location for their treatment to take place, and allow them to be treated by the practitioner far and away least likely to distress the patient further with their presence - although the reason for that in the first place is also an ethical issue? And following that, I figure the best option according to procedure would be for the doctor to distance themselves from the patient afterwards, if they're potentially the only person the patient is willing to receive care from. But I think in this case, the reason for that is kind of enmeshed with the (little-r) relationship being pre-existing, and with the probability that an end to that relationship could mean a change in the patient's willingness to receive treatment, or a lack of any way to tell if they need treatment at all. And subsequently, the potential that you're putting them in danger by putting them at a distance from the one connecting point that they will accept.

Obviously, I don't think Julian's necessarily considering all that. But once Garak gets to medbay, I don't think he's the only one involved in deciding on an answer for that stuff (and even if he has final say as CMO, he also does ultimately have people that he's answerable to as a doctor). I also just think that... because it's a work of fiction, it presents a really interesting dynamic to explore - the idea of someone whose vulnerabilities/mental health issues have them in an intense enough place, that they're only willing to put themselves in the vulnerable position of receiving help/treatment if it comes from a person who, conventionally, has too close of a relationship to be giving that help. Maybe that dynamic isn't 'healthy,' but maybe it's more healthy than the alternative, and maybe that's sometimes the genuinely best thing to focus on, or even just the only thing available (and honestly, I mean that sincerely and have quite strong feelings on it. There's a popular post that goes around about shipping, along the same lines, but I look at it and I'm a bit like... I honestly think that's how more interactions in the world work than we realise, and I don't think the tone of that post really encompasses it. It's a bit too detached for my personal taste).

(I think part of the reason why this idea appeals to me is linked to the way that... so much of the irl structure of mental health treatment is underdeveloped, and part of this idea I think honestly speaks to the unmet needs in that regard. Not so much the specific idea of a close loved one administering treatment, but the idea of a more individualised, somewhat more considered tailored approach to treating serious mental health issues in a single person. Although another part of the personal appeal is actually related to that specific approach, in a roundabout way; because sometimes these defined systems do collapse in certain situations, sometimes they genuinely are inadequate, if the goal is 'do as little additional harm as possible, in the healing of this.' So, sometimes a medic might end up administering care to a close loved one in an extreme situation, because the alternative is that the loved one either dies or is further damaged. And yes, that's in extreme situations, but what is the whole concept of Star Trek if not just one long laundry list of extreme situations - also honestly, I have a whole Thing about how a lot of just... Garak... is a kind of, deliberately manufactured extreme situation even beyond the typically-presenting irl scope of 'extreme' issues/questions/parallels that the show uses him to explore. But that gets into my general thoughts on sff 'hypertrauma' and such so I SHALL NOT start talking about it).

If the risks presented by conventional treatment are great enough, it requires building up a new approach, that in turn requires looking at the limits of the conventional treatment model, and where it potentially presents problems of its own that might need adapting to. And idk if I'd ever explore that more clinical side of it in a fic, but I know I'd definitely love to explore the kind of, more emotional, subjective, people-kind-of-ultimaltely-just-having-to-live-their-lives-and-maybe-trying-to-minimise-the-harm-they-do-if-theyre-that-kind-of-person, side of it.

I think I got away from the original point a bit, but I guess... this is a side of the whole issue that definitely Exists, because I have it, which means it exists, and if it turns out I'm the only one who has anything even remotely close to this then nobody needs pay me much attention, but there's at least a chance that there's other people approaching it in a similar way and that hasn't been added to the discussion yet.

Okay fic idea: you know how with Melora and Sarina, Julian became so caught up in a romanticized, naive vision of what they’d be to each other after he fixed/solved whatever their deemed problem was that he ignored all the red flags of maybe they’re not recovering so well or want or are ready for all this: That but with Garak post-wire.

Julian gets so caught up in his own little fantasy of saving Garak and nursing him back to recovery and rehabilitating him in every way, (showing him the light of Federation ideals and bringing him to the Good side), that he doesn’t realize Garak has started to secretly abuse other drugs to cope and needs more emotional space and doesn’t want to be brought to see the ‘light’. Essentially, a photo negative of why post-The Wire might not be such a great place to start up a relationship.

[ha-hatdog]

little one / daisuke kambe

i definitely did not swoon while writing this. again, i did not know if you wanted hcs or one shot but i'll go with one shot. this is a good time to post this since the latest episode showed pics of smol daisuke omg. also, the name of your son is kakeru - yes, as in kakeru from run with the wind lmao

and to those who are saying i should add read more to my long fics, i really want to but i don't have a laptop or computer. i write everything on my phone, on the tumblr app. so if you know how to add read more in posts using the app, then please do dm me. thank chu💛

requested by anon: one where daisuke and reader have a two year old son together? lots of fluff

UNEDITED

__

Your palm concealed your amused lips, a snort emanating from your wrinkled nose as you took in the sight before you.

Kambe Daisuke was a man of little words and little expressions, and even now, after being married to you for four years and having a son who was now at the age of two, that has not changed. He was still the stoic and cool detective millionaire you have met many years ago - which is exactly what makes the unfolding scene before you much more hilarious.

Monotonous Daisuke, the same man you had seen take down criminals twice his size, was haphazardly sprawled on your carpeted ground, arms and legs outstretched, cheek pressed flat against the material of the carpet as a smaller and cuter carbon copy of him perched comfortably on his back, oblivious to the position he had set his father on, doing nothing but lie down on his father's back and sleep soundly, eyes closed, snoring and wearing such an adorable sleeping face that it was difficult not to coo.

The sight alone was already adorably hilarious, but seeing the genuine distress on Daisuke's face had you doubling over, your palm muffling your laughter.

"Look at you," You whispered at him by the doorframe, your knees bent and your other hand sliding along the frame of the door. "You look so dumb, Daisuke."

"I'm happy at least you find this amusing, but I do not." Your husband responded back in an ired puff, azure eyes glaring at you from the floor. It took all of you not to swoon.

"Don't look at me like that, my love. I can't take you seriously when our son is using you as a mattress." Daisuke's glare intensified, but as your previous statement suggested, all purpose of threat was dulled by the position he was in. "How did you even get yourself in this situation?"

"I find it unnecessary to tell you." Answered Daisuke, and from how his cheeks tinged red, you could only assume it was something embarassing. "Will you help me, love? Take Kakeru off of my back."

You shifted your gaze back to your slumbering son, and a fond smile sprouted on your brims.

Sometimes you wonder how you were even able to make this precious, big eyed, nuzzling baby. He was an exact copy of Daisuke, not a single hint of your genes. Blank face, quiet, raven hair, blue eyes, the little shine in his eyes whenever he saw you - it was like seeing Daisuke when he was a child, and it was because of this fact that you were at least feeling a little bit alright with your son having no semblance with you.

"Kakeru," You whispered to your son as you stepped closer to your best boys with quiet footfalls, and he scrunched his face ay the brief interruption of your cooing voice. You stopped yourself from squishing his cute little face, and knelt down beside them. "Kake -"

Your sentence was cut off when you felt a hand under your knee. Immediately, Daisuke retracted his hand away, hurling your way a soft glare. "Watch where your knee is going."

You chuckled at his dilemma and reached down to stroke his head. "Mattresses don't talk, Daisuke."

"Normal people don't talk to mattresses." Countered Daisuke, huffing and averting his gaze away from you. You stifled your laughter as his pout grew more prominent. It might be very obvious already with how Daisuke has everything handed over to him with a single breath, but your husband absolutely hated losing in any forms ; even in your daily banter, he must always have the last word. People often mistakenly thought that you, being his darling wife that he had persistently courted for a whole year, would be exempted to this childish pettiness you consistently deny her allegations, firmly believing you were receiving the worse end of it. This man cannot forget the times you have successfully reigned victory over his own game, months or weeks, it never failed to be permanently ingrained in his mind ; and this resulted to puzzling moments which goes by a chronological sequence - a relatively normal day, an opportunity to divulge the opening you have unknowingly presented before his feet, and then comes his last word, to which he will remind you as your confused face stared back at him when his out of the blue statement has originally birthed from.

However, there was only one person who could defeat him at that, would never let him get the last word and that is your son Kakeru. As you stared at his sleeping face, you cannot help but smile as you reminiscent that particular day.

***

Haru Kato has been invited to your house to meet Kambe Kakeru. Daisuke has been mildly cross with Haru meeting his son because he was petty and said that Kakeru needed no other man than him but seeing that Daisuke has become good friends with Haru in the two years they were partners, you insisted that he meets him. It was already unfair that Haru had to wait until Kakeru was two to meet him, the first and last time he saw him being after you had given birth (Daisuke only let him have a glimpse then pushed him out of the hospital room because he doesn't want Kakeru thinking he was his father).

"Kakeru," You chided as you crouched beside your son who was hiding behind Daisuke's legs and peering at the gray haired male, eyes curious yet cautious. "Don't you want to meet Uncle Haru?"

Haru stepped closer to the three of you, bent down near Kakeru's height, and outstretched his hand for him to shake. "Hey there, Kakeru." Haru greeted with a smile.

Kakeru recoiled and hid himself further behind Daisuke, hands around his pants tightening. "Daddy," He whimpered. "Bad man."

Haru's face fell at the enunciation, and you covered your mouth to keep yourself from laughing. Daisuke stared blankly at Haru as his hand travelled behind his back to stroke Kakeru's head. "You heard my son. Get out of here, bad man." Daisuke uttered his command.

A tick mark appeared on Haru's forehead at Daisuke's vocalization and before things could escalate out of the power of your responsibility, you interjected, regaiming your proper posture and clasping your hands together. "Kakeru is just wary of Haru because this is the first time he's seeing him, no need to fight." You told them off.

"No, Haru is just naturally scary." Daisuke stated with bantering finality.

"This is coming from a man who barely smiles." Argued Haru, scowling.

"And this is coming from someone who seems to be making a living screaming at me." Countered Daisuke.

Kakeru's eyes widened at what his father had said and shot Haru a small glare, yet his stance never wavered from its hiding place. "He screams at daddy . . . " Murmured Kakeru in a thoughtful trance, and pointed at Haru, shocking all three of you. "D-Don't scream at daddy again!"

Alarm made its way to Haru's facr at the accusation. "No, I have not once yelled at your dad - "

Daisuke turned around and knelt in front of Kakeru. Daisuke stared into his son's eyes and Kakeru stared back. "Don't listen to him, Kakeru. You should never listen to him, never ever. He makes daddy get all angry when we're doing police missions together."

"O-Oi," Haru inserted, fuming. "You're the one who always makes me mad! Don't turn the child on me!"

But Kakeru was not listening to Haru, as his beloved father has told him. Kakeru nodded firmly, lips curling. "Yes, daddy." He vouched in determination.

"Daisuke, stop it." You chastised, sighing and turned to the other detective that was not using your son to his advantage. "Sorry about this, Haru. Kakeru really looks up to Daisuke so he does anything he tells him to."

Kakeru, all of a sudden, began trotting away from the three of you, leaving all of you confused. After a few minutes, Kakeru returned, a determined look on his face.

"Kakeru, sweetheart, where did you go?" You asked as you approached him. "It's rude to leave our guest hanging, you know."

"Fight bad man," You and Haru gasped in horror when your son suddenly brandished a gun to Haru, not just a toy, but a real one. His tiny hands trembled as he was not used to the weight of the metal weapon burdening his grasp, and he was still glaring at Haru. "I pew pew bad guy, mommy, like daddy do with bad guys!"

"Kakeru, where did you get that gun?" You questioned, alarmed and and genuinely frightened. You looked to your husband to assess his reaction, but much to your mortification, Daisuke looked calm as he always is, as if your son wasn't capable of hurting a person as of the moment. "Daisuke, what the hell?"

You let out a yelp when Kakeru turned to you, and in the process, turned the gun to you. "Bad word, Mommy." He scolded. "I don't like."

Daisuke drawled. "It's not a big deal."

Haru growled. "Your son has a weapon! How are you not freaking out?" He then turned to Kakeru and extended his hand. "Give me the gun, Kakeru. Give it."

But Kakeru shook his head defiantly. "No!"

Daisuke frowned at his wife and his partner. "Why are you making a big fuss about this?" He questioned. "It's unloaded and the safety is on."

At the mention of those, you and Haru felt a brief sense of relief until Haru spoke out, "Just because it's unloaded doesn't mean it's okay!"

"It's basically a toy." Retorted Daisuke.

You walked towards your husband and pulled at his ear. His face did not at all change, seemingly expecting this reaction from you. "Daisuke, where did he even get the gun? Has one of yours been just lying around his reach?" This concerned you. If your son was able to get a weapon easily, what more is your husband letting him get?

"I gave him one." Answered Daisuke.

"And why would you give our two year old a gun?" You snapped at him.

"Kakeru said he wanted to hold a gun. Just like you, I said no." Daisuke glanced over at Kakery who was watching the three of you curiously. "However - " He turned back to you, and looked away. " - he's too adorable, as you might say."

You and Haru, in unison, slapped your hands to your forehead, exasperated with Daisuke's response.

"Kakeru probably looked sad when Daisuke said no." Haru remarked. "I can't blame him to be honest."

"He's spoiling him in ways too many." You added, and removed your hand from your forehead. "Daisuke, I know you love our son and pampering him but he can't just have a gun."

"Why, mommy?" You all looked at Kakeru, and immediately understood why Daisuke was forced to give him an unloaded gun. "Not love me?"

"A-Ah," You shrieked, horrified. "The secret move!"

Haru gulps. "This boy knows a little too much about his abilities."

"Even if it doesn't have any bullets?" Daisuked asked you.

You hurtled him a glower. "Even if it doesn't have any bullets and yes, even if it has the safety lock on." You immediately added when you saw Daisuke open his mouth.

Said man huffed. "Fine. If I knew you were going to react like this, I wouldn't have done it."

You and Haru watched as Daisuke knelt down in front of your son. Kakeru stared at his father, eyes wide and admiring. Daisuke lets out a sigh and extended his palm, "Give."

Kakeru shook his head vigorously, and his face scrunched as if he was going to cry but was trying to suppress it. "Daddy no love me too?"

You waited for what Daisuke would do, but he did not move. More seconds has passed, and he was yet to move. You and Haru exchanged glances before you moved over to him, checking him out. "Daisuke, love, what - Daisuke?"

A torn man was what Daisuke coukd be called at that moment. His face was deadpanned, but being with him longer than anyone else, you were able to pick up the small difference his expression held right now.

"U-Uh, Daisuke, are you okay?" You questioned in a form of a titter, eyebrows connected. "Daisuke?"

Haru walked over to Daisuke and leaned to look at him. "A-Ah, he looks like he's suffering."

"No, no," Denied Daisuke, frown deepening as he tried not to fall for his son's adorable trap. "Daddy loves you. But mommy and I agreed that you can't have that kind of toy, Kakeru."

"But," You all drew in a breath Kakeru hugged the gun to his chest, tears prodding the corners of his eyes. "My favorite toy is this."

"But why that, baby?" You asked softly. "You have so many other toys. Why that one?" You recalled the heaping amount of toys Daisuke bought for Kakeru.

Kakeru pouted, cheeks puffing. You couldn't help but imagine little Daisuke like that. "Because Daddy gave me this." Said Kakeru. "I want to be police, like daddy."

Daisuke turned to you, the internal struggle in his eyes prominent but you shook your head at him. Your husband sighed and looked at Kakeru again. He put his hand on top his head and ruffled his hair. Kakeru closed his eyes at the affection, welcoming it and his rigid frame loosening. Kakeru opened his eyes and let out a small noise of surprise as Daisuke wiped a stray tear from his cheek.

From what you can deduce, you knew Daisuke was about to say something brilliant to your son, to teach him something valuable. But before Daisuke could even open his mouth, Haru cut him off -

"A gun doesn't make a cop, Kakeru. It's the sense of justice to do the right thing and keeping people safe does." Haru then proceeded to take out his badge and handing it to Kakeru with a large smile on his face. "You can borrow this for a while, while I'm still here. As much as I want to give it to you, I need it to do my job as a cop. But maybe in the future, you can get one of your own. You'll be just like your dad."

You were impressed by what Haru had said, but Kakeru - his eyes were wide and glittering with admiration as he stared at Haru, all fear of the bad man gone. You swear that there was light all around Haru if you're ever seeing through Kakeru's eyes. But one member of the group disliked this mild change, and it was your irritated and pouting husband.

You covered your mouth to keep yourself from laughing. Daisuke was obviously feeling jealous of Haru now that his son was ignoring him - the emotion only worsening when Kakeru took the badge from Haru and dropped the gun on the ground and stared at the shiny object, whispering, "Uwahh,"

A cloud of dread hung over Daisuke and you patted his back in comfort. "There, there, Daisuke, he's just making a friend."

"But why with Haru?" Grumbled Daisuke, sulking. "And why is he looking at him like that? I should be the only one he's looking at like that. You too, I guess."

You let out a sigh. "You're really jealous when it comes to me and Kakeru."

Haru looked proud of the achievement and improvement he had made with Kakeru, his hands over his hips. "Looks pretty cool, right?"

Kakeru nodded enthusiastically, examining the badge thoroughly. "Very cool." He murmured, and then stared at Haru intently, lips pursing. "I wanna be like Mister Haru when I grow up!"

That was the first time you have seen Daisuke speechless and the last time Haru had seen Kakeru for six months. You were certain Daisuke did not speak to Haru for about two weeks, only communicating through nods and grunts, and Haru did not know whether to feel relieved or irritated at that. Maybe a little bit of both.

But, that was the only time Daisuke did not have the last word.

Kakeru certainly has Daisuke around his little finger.

***

You reached forward and shook Kakeru awake softly. "Kakeru," You chimed, and he scrunched his face again, not wanting to be disturbed sleeping on Daisuke's back. "Wake up, baby,"

Kakeru let out a small groan, and slowly opened his eyes. A familiar pair of blue hues greeted you, the same eyes that you wake up to every morning. Kakeru let out a big yawn and rubbed his left eye with his hand, groaning out, "Mommy," He then looked down at Daisuke who was craning his head to watch his son. "And Daddy."

You smiled at him and opened your arms, hands making grabby movements towards your two year old. "Come here, baby," You cooed sweetly.

Kakeru perked up and a glimmer crossed his eyes, the same glimmer when Daisuke had seen you for the first time. You could never forget that time, and you can never find it more beautiful than seeing that in your son's eyes whenever you offer him affection. Immediately, the two year old scrambled out of Daisuke's back - Daisuke grunted as his little feet padded on his back a few times as he struggled to get to your lap and arms - and sunk in your embrace. Your eyes grew gentler as Kakeru snuggled closer to your chest, cheek rubbing on your clothing and his hands clinging to the fabric.

"Are you tired, baby?" You questioned as you stroked the back of his head, finger running over his hair.

Kakeru nodded tiredly. "Daddy played cops and robbers with me."

"Let me guess, you were the cop and he was the robber?" You commented.

"Yes, and I captured Daddy many, many times." Answered Kakeru, proud with himself.

"Oh, is that so? That's amazing, baby. You're going to be a great cop like Daddy." You then turned over to Daisuke who was now recovering from being used as a bed. He dusted himself as he sat properly on the ground in front of you. "Is that why you were under him? Because you were arrested?"

Daisuke looked away. "I think I need to teach him how to properly apprehend a criminal."

You giggled. "When he's older, Daisuke."

He faced you with a sharp twist of his face, expression determined. "He won't grow older."

You frowned. "What?"

You and Daisuke looked down to see Kakeru fighting the need to sleep, his eyes opening and closing.

"I don't . . . " Daisuke trailed off, and a trace of embarassment scrawled on his face. You rarely see your husband embarassed and so you waited for him to continue. " . . . I don't want Kakeru to grow up."

You shook your head lightly, smile broadening. "Daisuke," You whispered, and when he did not look at you, you called him again. "Love, look at me."

He did so, and with one hand, you cradled his face. "I know how you feel. I understand where you're coming from. But - " You mused. " - don't you want to see our son grow up to be a fine man? To be the person he aspires to be? To be like you?"

Daisuke stares back at you, and took a gander at Kakeru who was beginning to fall asleep. He lets out a sigh and nodded in agreement, "I guess that would be pleasant to see."

"And he'll marry a great girl." You added.

"Marry mommy," Kakeru drawled. He was forcing himself to stay awake but his eyes was not cooperating with his spirits.

Daisuke scooted closer to both of you and brushed his knuckles on Kakeru's forehead. "Marry mommy? You're going to take mommy away from me?"

Kakeru shook his head. "Marry someone like mommy," One of his hand extended and took hold of Daisuke's shirt, the other still clinging to you. Kakeru looked up at both of you, still comfortable in your lap and chest. His eyes, again, were bright. "I want family like me, and mommy, and daddy."

Warmth swathed your chest, your heart melting. You took a gander to Daisuke and saw that the expression he wore - love, care, and the promise of sacrifice when it comes to it and when he looked at you, the emotions never faltered, and they only grew stronger. Sometimes you wonder just how much Daisuke loved you and Kakeru.

"A family like the three of us." Kakeru let go of your clothing and showed three fingers of his and quickly pressed the three digits together. "A happy family."

Kakeru fell asleep after his statement. His arm dropped and his head moved to one side, his eyes closed and lips parted.

"We should tuck him in." Daisuke declared.

"Yeah," You agreed and Daisuke helped you stand up, making sure you two aren't waking your sleeping son. You moved him to his bed, setting him down the mattress gently. Daisuke took the liberty of putting the blanket over Kakeru. Your child shifted in his spot, and cuddled to his pillow.

You sat on the bed beside Kakeru, observing your son. "Already tired when the morning has just barely started." You chuckled.

"He said he needed practice to be a cop, and I couldn't say no." Daisuke inserted.

"You can never say no to Kakeru anyways." You jested.

"Same with you." Daisuke knelt down beside the bed, arms resting on the mattress and his head level with his son's. He admired Kakeru, his deadpan expression gone and a small smile on his face. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Kakeru's cheek, lingering for a while before pulling away.

Daisuke faced you and you raised an eyebrow as he took your hand.

"You have given me a beautiful son. Thank you so much, my love."

[starryeyedweeb]

Valentine’s Day with BNHA

A/N: I know it’s late for Valentine’s Day, but this is about the fifth time I’ve tried posting this because every other time it never got a single note even though all of my other stuff does pretty well??? So not to be that person, but if you see this I’m begging you to give it some love because it’s one of my favorites!

*DISCLAIMER*: As I’m over eighteen, I write all underaged characters aged up to be eighteen or older.

Contains: As always, sickly-sweet fluff; gender-neutral

Characters Included: Todoroki Shoto, Bakugou Katsuki, Yaoyorozu Momo, Shigaraki Tomura, Dabi/Todoroki Touya, Aizawa Shota

Valentine’s Day with...

Bakugou Katsuki

As expected, Bakugou thinks that Valentine’s Day is kind of ridiculous and isn’t too keen on celebrating

When his friends ask him what he’s planned for the holiday, it results in a bit of a rant

“Valentine’s is a shitty holiday for shitty partners to try and make up for being shitty. I take them on dates and spoil them all the time, so why should I make a big deal about a random day in February?”

But because he wasn’t a shitty partner, he knows he has to do something for you

“Oi, do you want to go hiking?” he asks shortly on Valentine’s morning, already dressed for the occasion. “We can go to that spot you’ve wanted see for a while.”

You agree- eagerly.

You honestly weren’t the biggest fan of hiking until you started dating Bakugou, who’s obsessed with it

It’s like meditation to him- one of the best ways for him to find a calm and clear mindset- and the two of you always have your best conversations when you’re out on a hike

Plus he looks amazing in his hiking clothes

The trail in question is further outside the city than most, and when you arrive, it’s pleasantly deserted

With backpacks swung over your shoulders, the two of you start down the rough path, which cuts through a thick forest

When you first started hiking, you could barely keep up with Bakugou, but you had gotten much better at it over time and are now able to comfortably keep pace with him, even holding his hand part of the time

The trail is mainly uphill, though, and periodically he will all but force a water bottle into your hands

“Get a drink. I don’t want you getting all dehydrated on me.”

When you reach the peak of the trail, which is a flat clearing overlooking the city below, Bakugou indicates for you to sit down and pulls out two bento boxes that he had packed prior to the event

Though there’s nothing heart-shaped nor unnaturally red or pink inside, the box is sweetly filled with all of your favorite bento foods

And of course, they all taste amazing

“Katsuki, this is so good!”

“I know.”

“Come on.” You playfully push his arm, feeling his muscles rippling beneath his jacket. “Seriously, though, thank you. Life has been so crazy lately, and this little break was perfect.”

“So you’re not upset we didn’t do anything more, I don’t know...” he trails off, furrowing his brow and running a hand through his hair, “...on theme?”

“Of course not. Stuff like that is for shitty partners who use a holiday as an excuse to make up for being shitty. They’ll go right back to their behavior the moment the day is over.” You interlace your fingers in his and hold his arm with your free hand. “This was perfect.”

Bakugou can’t resist a smirk and short chuckle at your sentiment, realizing exactly why he’s with you

“Hey, what’s that look for?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head. “Kiss.”

You reach up and press your lips to his, and his arms wrap around your body, holding you close

When you pull away, you cast a glance out at the tranquil cityscape below and reluctantly check the time.

“Do you think we should head back down?” you ask.

“No. I want to stay here a little while longer.”

Todoroki Shoto

As one of the top heroes, Todoroki Shoto is a hard man to get alone, but you have high hopes for Valentine’s Day.

On the morning of February 14, the two of you check into the luxury hotel he had booked for a romantic staycation, awaiting an entire day of activities planned around the resort: lunch and dinner reservations, a couple’s massage, seeing the hotel’s nightly show...

Only for it to all be completely foiled before it even starts when Shoto gets an urgent call about a villain incident gone badly wrong, with as many heroes as possible desperately needed to help.

“Go ahead and do everything we had planned,” he urges as he’s leaving, rushing through a parting kiss. “I’ll be right back.”

But you know that it’s not going to be as simple as “I’ll be right back.”

The moment the door shuts behind him, you can’t help but turn on the TV and flip to the news, trying to find out just what Shoto had gotten himself into

The danger of the situation makes you sick with anxiety, and you have to turn it off almost immediately for the sake of your own sanity

Trying to follow his wishes, you go through the motions of the day you had planned, but instead of reaping the intended benefits of rest and relaxation, your brain is completely clouded with worry for Shoto’s safety

Which is only amplified when the hotel lobby has the news on with a crowd of people clumped together before it to see what’s going on, and the receptionist approaches you to ask if you’re alright

Dark falls with no sign of Shoto, but your heart leaps when you get the news notification that the battle is over

You turn the news back on for live coverage of the heroes that participated being interviewed about the events, but your stomach knots once again when you see no sign of Shoto

They haven’t mentioned any casualties, you wonder, but have they missed him or something?

When a knock echoes throughout the room, a cold feeling of dread washes over your body

You freeze and merely stare at the door, sure you’re about to receive the news that’s the worst nightmare of any partner of a hero

Until the door opens, and reveals Shoto holding a bouquet the size of his torso, looking a bit battered but otherwise alright

You launch yourself across the room, and he drops the flowers to engulf you in his arms

“God, Shoto,” you sob. “No matter how long I’ve been with you, waiting and worrying never gets any easier.”

“I know, I know,” he murmurs back, stroking your hair. “But I’m here now. I’m fine. I ran here the moment I could get away.”

When you finally allow him to pull away, he hands you the flowers, and you call room service for a vase and a first-aid kit

You sit Shoto on the bed and tend to his minor wounds, then order some of your favorite comfort foods for a very late dinner

Shoto is never one to discuss his missions right after the fact, so instead you just talk about nonsense things, like the most recent episode of your favorite show to watch together, and where the two of you wanted to go on your next vacation

Afterward, the two of you lay in the dark, so tangled together that it’s nearly impossible to tell who’s whom

Neither of you are tired at all, realizing fully that the privilege of getting to hold each other like you are was almost taken away that day

You feel your eyes start to well up at just how much you love the man next to you, realizing how much you need him

Shoto seems to sense that you’re going to a dark place, so he traces his fingers lightly against your cheek and breaks the silence.

“I forgot to tell you. I extended our stay here so we can still celebrate like we were planning to. I’m sorry I had to go today.”

“Shoto, you don’t have to be sorry.” You cup his cheek back, a few tears spilling out of your eyes as they meet his. “I’m just so glad you’re safe and that you’re here with me.”

Yaoyorozu Momo

Recently, an adorable little paint-your-own-pottery studio had opened on yours and Momo’s route home

You two had always meant to go for a fun date, but never really had the time, so when a Valentine’s event is announced, you both leap at the opportunity and reserve your spots right away

When Valentine’s Day arrives, you and Momo show up half an hour early for the event, wearing coordinating shades of red and pink

Laughing at your accidental matching, the two of you kill the time until the event begins by taking a million photos together

When the doors to the shop open and you’re finally allowed in, Momo’s eyes nearly pop out of her head in excitement, and you just know it’s going to become a regular date spot for the two of you

The shop is decorated like a romantic tea shop straight out of a cheesy movie, with lace doilies marking work stations, faux roses as centerpieces, and red, white, and pink balloons covering the ceiling

The special event involves painting spindly teacups with handles shaped like hearts, the workstations supplied with punch and sweets, all colored and shaped for the holiday

“Look at these!” She exclaims, picking up the ceramic cup at her workstation. “What should we paint on them?”

“Why don’t we do a matching design?” you suggest. “That way we can remember this even better.”

“Yes, let’s do that!” she agrees. “What design should we do, then?”

You two decide to keep it simple: paint the mugs solid baby pink, stamp tiny red hearts all around, and then Momo would use her elegant handwriting and paint both of your initials in calligraphy on one of the faces.

You ready your stations and sit shoulder-to-shoulder as you work, chatting and giggling the entire time, occasionally nudging each other playfully with your legs

“Could you hold the cup at this angle for me while I do the calligraphy?” she requests, which gives you an excuse to sit even closer to her, the scent of her rosy perfume engulfing you

“I wish I had handwriting like that,” you whine, watching her paint the graceful swirls of your initials, followed by the date below.

“I can teach you,” she offers, coming to stand behind you. “Here.”

She puts her hand over yours, and guides it along in the shape of the letters, her free arm looping around the front of your shoulders in a casual hug

“See? You’ve done it!”

“It still doesn’t look nearly as good as yours.”

“Well, my heart stamps don’t look nearly as good as yours. I don’t think I applied enough pressure.” She returns to her own seat, stares at you for a few moments, then giggles. “Speaking of, you’ve got paint on your face. Come here.”

You lean forward so she can wipe off the paint with a gentle touch, and she places a kiss on the now-clean spot.

“There. All better.”

When the two of you finish painting the mugs, you turn them into the counter so they can be finished in the kiln, then sit by the window of the shop to enjoy your sweets while you wait

“I’m very excited about these cups,” Momo says, reaching out for your hand. “They’ll be a lovely little keepsake.”

“Me, too,” you agree, resting your head on her shoulder. “It’ll be nice to have tea in them every evening.”

“Exactly. And if there’s ever a time when we have to be separated, whether it be for hero work or some other reason, we can bring our cups with us to remember that the other is always there, waiting to come have tea together.”

Shigaraki Tomura:

Despite his villainous ideals, in romance, Shiggy is actually quite sweet, if not a little clumsy

When you first became close to him, his unhealthy lifestyle and lack of self-care worried you, so you made a habit of cooking for Shigaraki, and leaving a week’s worth of nutritious meals in the League’s fridge for him

He had never revealed this to you, but he appreciated it so much, and wanted to return the favor

When Toga mentioned something about Valentine’s Day, he knew that it was his perfect opportunity, and made his plans by ordering everyone of the League to get out and stay out for the night

He then did some research about something good to make you, wracking his brain to try and remember what you’ve mentioned liking, until he remembers a very important fact:

He can’t cook.

At all.

Has never even once tried.

Which poses an obvious problem.

He panicked for a few moments, until he landed on a new, and possibly better, idea

When you arrive for the date, dressed comfortably (because, as much as you love Shigaraki, you know that there’s no way you’ll be going out for Valentine’s Day), you’re a little bit surprised to find him standing in the kitchen

“Shiggy?” You approach the counter warily. “What are we doing tonight?”

“I can’t cook. I want to know how.”

“You want me to teach you how to cook?”

“Yes. I want to know how to make your favorite meal.”

“Okay. That’s simple enough.” You make to join him in the kitchen, but he blocks your path.

“No. I want to make this for you. Just sit down and...tell me what to do.”

That proves to be quite a bit more difficult, as you never truly understood just how hard it would be to explain cooking to someone that has never used more than a microwave before

The music you had put on in the background was quickly drowned out by his frustrated swears, and you can tell that there are times when he almost loses his temper, but holds it together for the sake of your Valentine’s gift

A couple of utensils do fall victim to his decay, though, and he subtly tries to sweep the remains away in embarrassment.

At one point, his poor knife technique leaves a decently sized cut on his finger, and you jump into action, running for a First-Aid kit

“I’m not a child,” he mutters as you clean the small wound, avoiding your eyes.

“I know,” you reply lightly, pressing a playful kiss to the bandage you had just secured.

As Shigaraki comes close to finishing the meal, you raid Kurogiri’s stores for your favorite bottle of wine, pouring two glasses and setting them out on the table.

“Does this look right?” Shigaraki asks once the final timer goes off, warily holding out his creation.

“You tell me,” you answer. “I’ve made this for you before. It looks the same to me.”

When the two of you sit down and portion out the meal, Shigarki neglects his own plate as he watches you take your first bite

You fight to keep your face neutral, because honestly, it’s god awful, even though you had been right there the whole time, telling him exactly what to do

But you really didn’t expect anything more from a first time-cook, and even though the flavor is completely wrong, you still enjoy it, because you can practically taste how much this prickly mass-murderer actually cares for you

And as twisted as your situation is, you wouldn’t change it for the world

“Is it good?” Shigaraki mumbles from across the table, pulling you from your thoughts.

You take a sip of your wine. “Thank you so much, Tomura. This was such a thoughtful gift. I really appreciate it.”

“I knew it. It’s shit.” He pushes his own plate away in frustration. “I just wanted to pay back a favor and I can’t even do that right.”

“Shig, what did I just say? I appreciate this so much.” You round the table to his seat, rubbing his shoulders and planting a kiss on the top of his head. “Of course your first attempt doesn’t work. But that gives us something new to do together. For tonight, we’ll order some takeout, but starting tomorrow, I’ll give you another cooking lesson, and then another, and another, and another... as many as it takes until you can make a whole meal for me by yourself. Deal?”

He meets your gaze with a puppy-dog expression, placing his palms over where your hands rested on his chest.

“Deal.”

Dabi/Todoroki Touya:

Let’s just say that Dabi isn’t one to ignore traditions.

He’s one to very openly and dramatically oppose them.

You were anxious if not a little worried to see what he was going to have planned for Valentine’s Day- but, honestly, as his partner, you’re equally as unconventional in your own ideals

And he doesn’t disappoint, coming home with tickets to a ghost tour at the most haunted spot in town.

“Do they even do these on Valentine’s Day?”

“Obviously. That’s when I got the tickets for.” He shrugs. “Apparently it’s a thing that people do.”

“Hopefully not very many people. You know how we hate crowds.”

“And hopefully it’s not overtly themed for this asinine holiday.” He takes your waist and whispers the next words in your ear. “The idea of a dark room and an invisible audience is romantic enough.”

“Oh, stop it.”

“I just made you more excited, didn’t I?”

“You’ll have to wait until the day to find out.”

When Valentine’s Day arrives, you dress for the occasion and meet Dabi at a glamorous hotel in an older part of town

Before the tour begins, the guide allows the guests to go to the bar for some drinks, and begin to tell the story of the hotel and the paranormal activity that had sparked the attraction

Dabi seems uninterested, taking in the architecture of the historic buidling and peering down random hallways

“I’m getting bored of this,” he mutters in your ear. “I’m ready to see something interesting.”

“Shh, Dabi, I’m trying to listen,” you whisper back.

He responds by pinching your ass. “So, are you in a naughty mood tonight? Noted.”

“Stop it,” you mutter, lightly pushing him away, but your flushed skin is a dead giveaway to how you truly feel about the situation.

When the tour actually starts, you and Dabi round out the end of the group as it descends into a long, dark hallway.

Eventually, you feel Dabi’s hand leave its spot around your waist, but you’re so distracted listening the tour guide tell stories at the front to even notice.

Until cold hands grab you from you behind and give you a violent shake, growling animalistically in your ear

You let out a terrified scream, but the laugh that comes after is all-too-familiar

“Dammit, Dabi!” you gasp, doubling over to your breath and quiet your heartbeat.

“Aha.” His hands trail down your sides and squeeze your waist. “Gotcha.”

You eventually reach the main event of the tour, which is an old storeroom that had been unused for years due to the intense paranormal activity

Dabi actually stood still next to you with his arm slung around your shoulders, interested for the first time that night as the guide used the ghost box and actually got answers from the spirits that occupied the room.

Though there are a few times when you have to stop him from pulling some prank to scare the other people taking the tour, trying to convince them that they’re actually in immediate danger of possession

When the event is over, however, and the guide is ushering people back down the hallway, Dabi pulls you into a closet, igniting a small flame on his palm and pressing a finger to his lips

When the noise of the crowd filing out is gone, he presses forward forcefully and starts to bury you in deep, passionate kisses

“Wait, wait.” You pull back once you realize what his idea is. “Isn’t this a little...scary?”

“Isn’t that what makes it fun?”

Aizawa Shota

Valentine’s Day happened to fall around one of Aizawa’s busiest times at UA, and he was so tied up and tired that you had barely seen one another lately.

So, when he remembers what’s coming up and drowsily asks you what you want to do for Valentine’s Day, you surprise him.

“I’ve already made plans for us,” you reveal, handing him a printed itinerary. “I booked us a spot at a day spa. Those are all the treatments we’ll be doing.”

“Why’d you choose this? I’m curious.”

“You need some time to relax, and I want to spend time with you when your mind is on something other than which one of your students is going to get broken next.”

“Fair enough.”

On the morning of, the two of you check into the spa, and are instructed to go change into the fluffy bathrobes they provided

“Do I really have to put this on?” he complains, holding it as one might hold a dirty diaper.

“What’s wrong with it?” you ask, already changed into yours.

“I don’t know how I feel about my chest being out on display like this.”

“Well, I’ll like it.” You snake your hand up his shirt and rake your nails down his skin. “C’mon. We’re going to be late for our couple’s massage.”

Once Aizawa has reluctantly changed, the two of you start off your day with massages and facials

You had arranged for him to get a special eye treatment, and the small sounds of relief from his table reveals that your gift is very much appreciated.

“Are you relaxed?” you inquire as you move on from the massage room to your next destination.

“More relaxed I’ve been since I stepped through the doors of UA for the first time.”

“Well, are you relaxed enough to get a hair treatment?”

“Honestly? Bring it on.”

When Aizawa is laying back in a chair, a towel wrapped around his head and a styling cape draped over his robe, you can’t help but snap photos of the slightly comical scene

“Are you taking pictures?” he grumbles.

“Do you mind that I am?”

“Just as long as my students never see it.”

“Noted,” you reply, adding the photo to an album of embarrassing pictures you planned to show them at the end of the term.

After finishing the hair treatment- Aizawa’s hair looking better than you could ever dream yours would- and moving on to a high-tech infrared light treatment, you finished out the day with a soak in the spa’s top-rate onsen, reserved for just the two of you

You sit in comfortable silence in the hot water, bodies pressed close to each other

Shota’s arm was draped around your shoulder, and you loosely held the hand that fell across your body

When you lay your ear on his chest, you notice that his heartbeat is the calmest you’ve ever heard it

“So, did the spa serve its purpose?” you ask, tilting your head up to gaze at him.

“It did. Though I think it was less the spa’s doing, and more the fact that I spent an entire day with you.”

You hum happily, reaching up and tapping his chin. “Nice and well rested now, are you? You sure look pretty.”

He chuckles lightly, running a hand through your hair. “So do you.”

“Well, there’s still about an hour left until our dinner reservation,” you observe, noticing the clock on the wall. “Is there anything you want to do to kill the time before then?”

“We’re both sitting in hot water, naked,” he replies matter-of-factly. “The answer should be obvious.”

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 52.1 - Bristol vs Durham

It’s been five months since the last episode of University Challenge. Until I’d calculated (9 - 4 = 5) and typed that out ten seconds ago it hadn’t really clicked that the show had been away for that long. The show hasn’t begun in August since 2006, when there were only thirty one episodes in a series rather than the thirty seven we have now with the extended quarter-final format.

One reason for this large gap could be that the format is reverting to a standard knockout for the last eight, which would be a shame, but equally it could just be that the schedulers fancied changing things up and shifting the whole series back by six weeks or so, meaning we’d have the Grand Final towards the end of May rather than the start of April.

Whatever the reason, I was glad to have The Challenge back last week, even though I wasn’t able to get this review posted until a week later. And what an episode to kick things off, with a back and forth to rival the Chuckle Brothers - as a side note, they surely choose which episode ends up being broadcast as the series opener, because it always tends to be a cracker.

A few weeks before it returned we got the big news that this would be the last series as host for veteran quizmaster Jeremy Paxman. Over the years Paxo had become beloved for his cutting responses to answers he deemed at best misguided and at worst abominably stupid. In recent years his demeanour seems to have softened, but as a tribute to his bygone scorn I’ll recap some of his most scathing moments over the next few weeks.

Replacing him is Amol Rajan, a journalist who has since 2016 been the BBC’s media editor. Various outlets have posted articles decrying his appointment. I don’t know much about him, but in reading some of these posts I have come across an article he wrote for the BBC in 2020 in which he wrote, of JK Rowling’s infamous ‘Terf Wars’ Essay, that he ‘[takes] absolutely no view whatsoever on the issues that she raises’, which is just about the most mealy-mouthed/contemporary-BBC/both-’sides’-must-be-given-equal-time/Laura-Kuenssberg/anti-journalistic thing it's possible to say about anything. All that’s left for me to say is that I take absolutely no view whatsoever on his appointment.

Anyway, we have Paxo in the hot seat for another series, so let’s get back to that shall we? Episode one of Series fifty two (Jeremy’s twenty-ninth!) featured two of the most prolific participants of the Paxman era in Bristol and Durham.

Bristol hold an unwanted Uni Challenge record in - they have made the quarter-finals more times than any other side who haven’t made the semis (if that makes sense). Seven times they’ve fallen at the anti-penultimate hurdle, which, while pretty annoying, is quite impressive in itself. Durham meanwhile are six-time semi-finalists. They’ve lost five times at that stage, but made up for it in 2000 when they smashed UMIST (remember that) before trouncing Oriel in the final to take home the trophy.

That’s enough preamble I think - so without further ado, here’s your first starter for ten.

‘Which five letter word may precede, verse, slate and look -’BUZZ‘Durham, Radcliffe’‘Blank’

And there we are. The first starter of an eight month farewell tour for Jeremy Paxman. He’s asked tens of thousands of questions to thousands of students, so to him this won’t have been anything special, but, as ever, it was good to have The Challenge back.

Durham didn’t manage any bonuses on the geology of British national parks, guessing wrongly three times out of three, but their lead was quickly extended on the next starter, courtesy of Bennett, who recognised the name of the US senator famous for mixing up gazpacho with gestapo. They got their first five pointer with Mussolini, but missed Napoleon and Churchill, on the subject of novels by political leaders.

Bristol then get off the mark thanks to a nervous buzz from Ortega with single-use [plastics]. A couple of bonuses on algebra brought them within five points, but Scully hit back with the first picture starter and he took the next ten pointer too, with gamma ray burst, though the Wearsiders again struggled on the bonuses, only getting The Witcher on a set about Polish video game developers. To be fair, this was a pretty tough set, although that’s coming from someone who has only ever played FIFA and Pokemon (and Klonoa 2: Lunatea’s Veil on PS2, which was an absolute belter by the way) so maybe don’t take my word for it.

One from Ortega and another from McLaughlin get Bristol back in business, but they too are finding the bonus questions tough, taking a paltry one out of six. A second of the evening for Bennett gave Durham a forty point lead going into the music round, and from here things really took off. A great buzz from Scully of Spirited Away extended the Avonsiders lead, and from thereon out all of the difficulties both teams had been having when the buzzer wasn’t in play seemed to disappear.

Remember this - at halfway the scores were Durham 85 - 45 Bristol.

Things picked up on the very next set - with Bristol managing two out of three on Rosalba Carriera. Durham hit back and took a full set, before Bristol retaliated with one of their own for the first time this evening. One from Kehrer, along with two bonuses, and then the second picture starter with a hat-trick of its own gave them the lead for the first time in the match. One three five plays one two five. The combined score had been doubled in five questions.

No starters had been dropped thus far, but no-one is able to give the quantity which arises when multiplying torque by angular velocity (power). In fact, both teams gave answers of more than one word when Paxman had asked for a single word, so they’ve only got themselves to blame. The dry spell doesn’t last for long though, and McLaughlin’s A Tale of Two Cities helps to give Bristol their biggest lead so far

With his bell beating out Bristol’s buzzer, Scully fired back for Durham and they clawed the deficit back to ten points. McLaughlin, with his striped knitwear and nervous nail-biting, wasn’t having that, and they were quickly back out at twenty five. Kehler made it forty five, and with only minutes remaining they surely had this in the bag.

So, congratulations to Bristol on an incredible comeb-

BUZZ

‘Durham, Scully’

‘Rubik’s Cube’

‘Rubik’s Cube is correct.’

Okay, okay. Well done, and a full set on years ending in 99, well done on that, too, but we don’t have enough time left for this sort of n-

BUZZ

‘Durham, Radcliffe’

‘Horn’

‘Horn is correct’

Hang on. A pair of bonuses on Norway and this thing is tied up. What on Earth just h-

BUZZ

‘Durham, Radcliffe’

‘Simultaneous equations’

…GONG

Final Score: Bristol 185 - 195 Durham

Phew… what a match that was. Congratulations, Durham, and not too many commiserations to Bristol yet (though they will feel gutted to have been pipped after that comeback), because they will one hundred percent be back for the playoff round. We can give them our full commiseration if they do lose that match, but it would have to be a mighty series if another team who loses first time out is better than them.

If, by some miracle, you enjoyed this post despite the frankly nonsensical ending, click subscribe somewhere on this page (unless you’re reading on Tumblr - in which case get with the program, although I will try and keep posting there just in case) and you’ll never miss another review.