#in any case i saw the connection and that's all that matters 😅

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

What if I said this scene with Edwin:

Is visually referencing the first piece of queer cinema, Salomé (1923):

What then?

[yumeka-sxf]

After the previous long arc and then a month break for Endo to work on volume 14, it's so nice to finally have a chill Forger-focused chapter! I missed my fake family so much 😭

This above spread is lovely ❤️

Hilarious Anya and Loid antics right from the get go - I missed that too!

JUST LOOK AT BOND INSTEAD 🤣 This guy...

He also calls her "baka" ("idiot," "dummy") in this panel in the Japanese version 😅

But despite her little kiddy tantrums and demands, I love that Anya still does what's best for Loid by giving up on a TV appearance.

The below scene between Loid and Yor is yet another example of how well they complement each other; how Loid is so intent on his mission that he can't accept any moments of being idle or "goofing off," but Yor is there to remind him that such things are okay...that you don't have to be constantly looking for trouble and it's good to be at peace every now and then.

That thought continues during their conversation at the riverbank. No matter how much he tries to put on a stoic spy face, Yor can tell that he's constantly on edge and needs to relax sometimes, for his own good.

Her comment that he constantly has wrinkles on his brow and needs to be careful about that - that is such married couple talk, just get REAL married already!

Then we have Becky being enamored with Loid again (and calling Yor her "master" 😂) At least she kept herself much more under control. Good girl.

Bond's first meeting with Weisel! And the tear in his eye when Weisel left 😥

This panel of them together is so cute~

As usual, despite this being a cute/funny chapter, Endo slips in some darker forboding...in this case, another hint about Project Apple still being an active threat.

Between this and the short mission about Anya's name, I wonder if Project Apple is indeed connected with whatever lab Anya came from, and if Endo is planning something really big from all this gradual build up about it. Looking forward to it, whatever it is!

And I know some people must be wondering why we didn't continue the "Anya tells Damian her secret" bombshell from way back, but I saw that chapter as ending with Damian not believing her and Anya not pressing on it further, at least for the time being. But it will definitely get brought up again.

EDIT: Thanks to @xxscarletxrosexx and @mika213 for pointing this out! There's a mistranslation in this scene: the English version has Yor telling Loid to be careful about wrinkles, but in the Japanese version, that speech bubble belongs to Loid, who's confirming he will be careful about it (hence the blush mark and sweat drop).

Bonus: It was just confirmed that Henderson will be on the cover of volume 14, which releases on September 4th!

[letthelightshinein]

I have reevaluated the 'I actually wanted hot water' conversation and now I've come around the whole 180 degrees and it makes me really happy to think of it, rather than it making me want to weep in a corner.

It's upsetting because despite all the bickering, the misunderstandings and the secrets, they've never actually had an argument like this before. We as an audience are not used to it. Both Pei Su and Luo Weizhao are kind of caught off guard by it as well. It's why it's so heartbreaking, but it's also why it's so monumental for their relationship. (Note that I'm not actually talking about anything 'romantic' in this post, it's about their emotional connection. We can talk about attraction and romance after a more easy going kind of episode, if we ever get one 😅)

The reality is that Luo Weizhao has never been able to give Pei Su what he wanted and needed from him. And Pei Su wasn't ever able to ask.

When Pei Su was younger, and Luo Weizhao bashed into his life, he was like a dream. Pei Su's mother died and he truly was alone for the first time. Luo Weizhao swept in like a whirlwind, he listened to him, took him seriously, and agreed to look into his mother's death. He gave him hope when Pei Su had no reasons left for hope. And because of that he would always be special to Pei Su in a way that Tao Ze, who he loves and loves him, never could be.

But with that also came very unrealistic expectations. He wasn't able to find any evidence against Pei Su's father and it seemed like he stopped caring about his mother's case. When Luo Weizhao came across him burying the bird, Luo Weizhao acted like Pei Su was a monster to be feared. When Luo Weizhao refused to take the cat, he thought that no matter what he did to fight back against his father it wouldn't be enough, Luo Weizhao would never trust or want to protect him, he couldn't really be his safe space.

Pei Su wanted Luo Weizhao to be his hero, but mostly he desperately wanted to be seen and understood by him. And he wanted to have that without having to give any explainations. He was a traumatised child living with his abuser, he didn't have any ability to reach out any further.

Luo Weizhao was maybe 22 and wanted to be a good police officer. Luo Weizhao went above and beyond for a victim of the first case he was working on. He tried and tried but without knowing more there was nothing else he could possibly give. He saw a lonely kid and tried to provide an emotionally stilled kind of love and very stern guidance, like his father or his shifu did for him. But that wasn't what Pei Su wanted.

Luo Weizhao was always going to let Pei Su down. The cat was only the final nail in the coffin.

As they are standing in the kitchen, that's not inevitable any more. They've gone through so much. Pei Su has slowly corrected some of his assumptions about Luo Weizhao - he does still think about his mother's case (the white flowers on her grave), he's always cared about him (his beloved PSP), he doesn't think he's dangerous (he's really said so), he is actually always, in his own way, trying to look after him (just like he looks after Ping Di Guo - he spoils him even if he grumbles about it). Luo Weizhao is maybe starting to understand him, he acknowledged that life is really hard for Pei Su, and he intends to help him through it. Maybe Pei Su isn't so alone anymore.

So when Luo Weizha keeps secrets from him again, breaking a pact Pei Su is taking very seriously, he doesn't just walk away like he's done so many times. Instead he pushes back, he says, in his own small, almost unnoticeable way, this is not what I want from you, I want you to really hear me, I need you to understand me. He's also giving Luo Weizhao a chance to make it better. For Pei Su it's a lot more vulnerable to ask for something than it takes to give something up, this might be even harder than giving up his life for Luo Weizhao. It takes him back to the last time he really asked for something and maybe regrets it, remembering how Luo Weizhao turned him away. But this is Pei Su really reaching out for the first time in a very long time, maybe ever. He has the confidence now to open up a little bit of his shell and hopes that Luo Weizhao won't use it to destroy him.

Given the day he's had, it's not hard to envisage a reasonable man in Luo Weizhao's situation to think - I've done nothing wrong. Everything is so fucked up at the moment, I have my own problems, and I don't need you throwing a strop in the middle of the night. He wouldn't be technically wrong. Pei Su would have had his heart broken again and that's the end of that.

But Luo Weizhao does see and understand Pei Su this time! He is so obviously sorry. He knocks on a door in his own house to his own bedroom, and he does his best to rectify. He asks if he's done enough, giving Pei Su the opportunity to say no. He's not defensive or passive aggressive. He knows that he's hurt him, and he sees it from his perspective. He doesn't always know what's best for Pei Su, he should listen. But he also doesn't compromise what he thinks is the right thing to do, that's not who he is; so he doesn't immediately give him the files. Luo Weizhao is trusting that Pei Su is a reasonable grown man who can understand things from his perspective too. It's so much but it's also just enough.

It really shows how far they've come and how they've both grown, seperately and together. Now he's had a successful direct confrontation (not by anyone else's standards but it's all relative), Pei Su might get the confidence to ask for more and more, and Luo Weizhao can rise to the occasion.

[tobbesdiscordkitten]

i saw your post taking about “this i love” so i want to add that i find it really interesting that axl has always dated people younger than him, i have a little theory that is that, he likes to be in control, and to me, all the people he’s dated, don’t exert a lot of control, or maybe stephanie did, so that’s why he dates younger people(? to ‘mold’ or ‘shape’ them, what are your thoughts?

It’s an interesting theory, anon! Of course, I do have my own differences, but I’d love to share my thoughts with you.

Looking at it from a certain point of view, I can understand why people think Axl prefers to date younger women 😂 His first girlfriend, Gina Siler, was around his age then his next girlfriend, Erin Everly, was 3 years younger. But Erin appeared to be much younger than him, mentally. Moving on. Stephanie Seymour and Axl are 6 years apart while him and Jennifer Driver are 11 years apart, and him and Sasha Volkova are 22 years apart. The ages certainly decrease with each woman.

There’s nothing wrong with having a preference either. Maybe Axl prefers to date younger women? Perhaps he doesn’t like to date older women because he views them as his mother-figure or caretaker? But I also wouldn’t say this is his preference since Gina is closer to Axl’s age. But maybe, overtime, he changed his mind about it? 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s quite common for men to be the older ones in a relationship.

If you look at it a different way - the younger the women were, the less years they spent with Axl. But the older the women were, the more years Axl had with them. In case this might sound confusing, I’ll create a chart down below to clarify:

1. Gina Siler (around the same age) - spent 5 years with Axl (1978 - 1983).

2. Erin Everly (3 years apart) - spent 5 years with Axl (1986 - 1991).

3. Stephanie Seymour (6 years apart) - spent 2 1/2 years with Axl (1991- 1993).

4. Jennifer Driver (11 years apart) - spent 3 months with Axl (1994).

5. Sasha Volkova (22 years apart) - spent 2 years with Axl (2006 - 2008).

At least that’s what it looks like on paper. Plus, I’ve heard rumors Axl has an on and off (FWB) relationship with Sasha. So, the stats might not be 100% accurate, but you can see how the numbers fluctuate with the ages. It just depends on how people see it.

For the control part…it could sound like he was trying to manipulate these young women. Yet, I don’t think that was the case. The “molding” and “shaping” only applied to Stephanie since Axl saw her as his “perfect” woman. She must’ve had traits that he longed for in a partner, ultimately making them click until the Christmas disaster happened.

Axl’s perfectionism can also be misinterpreted as him wanting to control everything when, in reality, he had a vision and he strived to achieve it, whatever it took. It’s important to remember Axl didn’t have any control during his adolescence. He broke his toy planes, so his step-father wouldn’t, and he’d put the broken pieces together, similarly to how he pieced GNR back together after it fell apart.

As for an Aquarius like Axl, it all comes down to having an emotional connection with somebody instead of a physical connection. Meaning: age doesn’t matter to him but the personality does, and so does one’s own personal ambitions as an individual.

If you ask me, Erin exerted more control than Stephanie, and that backfired on her. Scorpios, like Erin, tend to have a natural desire for control which can lead to them being manipulative, vengeful, unyielding, and domineering. This is the complete opposite of what an Aquarius desires who lean towards freedom and independence without feeling restricted by others. On the other hand, Stephanie, who is a Leo, can be controlling due to being in the spotlight but can balance it out with humility and openness, unlike Scorpio’s. Stephanie was busy with her modeling career and had more of a backbone to stand up for herself.

Anyways, I hope this wasn’t too confusing 😅 I know it’s a lot of info to take in. I’ve made other in-depth posts on my blog about Erin and Stephanie if you’d like to check those out! ^.^

[peonierose]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you so much for the tag 🩷@thosehallowedhalls it’s nice to be able to share something I’ve written even though it’s been a while since I’ve actively written fanfic 😅 But I’d love to share some snippets from stories that I plan on posting soon-ish 🥰

Open Heart

”You know the one where the hospital raises money for the children’s cancer ward. It’s close to all of our hearts. And when I saw your name as one of the prizes you could win I was surprised to see you’d offer yourself up as a date. But I figured you love to raise money for a good cause. So I’m really happy and proud you’d participate. Thank you, we all appreciate your sacrifice.“ She winks as if she knows I’m uncomfortable by this.

But her words had me startled, and my body froze and instead of blood I felt ice rushing through my veins.

I realized with a start she was expecting an answer from me as she was staring at me patiently.

”I…uhh…of course I wouldn’t have it any other way.“

Koa & Keiki

”Not the wake up call I imagined but I’ll take it. What are you up to Kei?“

”How about we just skip classes today? And stay here?“ I said as I placed another soft kiss on his chest.

”So what you’re suggesting is we should just what? Cut classes? Today is lab day. I have to be there.“

”Can’t you do it from home? Come on live a little Ko.“ I said before I lifted my head to steal a kiss.

I could feel him smile against my lips, before he broke it off.

”You’re playing a dangerous game Wildflower.“

Crimes of Passion

I’ve been hearing my dads voice in my head when I have to make a tough decision during a case. Or when I’m sad and feel alone.

Grief is a funny thing sometimes. It hits you in waves or even like a freight train. Depending on how far you let it affect you.

I rarely cry if at all. But the times I hear my dads voice? I break down and I’m a crying mess.

It’s as if I’m a little kid again, staring at my dads lifeless body. That was one of the scariest things I ever had to witness. To feel his warm skin turn cold. For his eyes to stare at the sky, lifeless, no longer filled with kindness and love for the people he cared about.

No matter how much I screamed he wouldn’t wake up again.

Open Heart

“Listen to me Luna. Time is what we make of it. You can use it to be miserable and make yourself unhappy, or you can accept the fact that there are hard times and times when we don’t have all the answers to every single question or where we can’t solve every problem. There is a saying in Hawaiian my grandma used to tell me when I was feeling sad and thinking I’ll never be happy again ‘A’ohe pu’u ki’eki’e ke ho’a’o ‘ia e pi’i - No cliff is so tall it cannot be climbed.”

I smiled against all odds.

“My grangran says that every single time I have a hard time.” I said smiling when I thought of my grandma.

“Your grangran sounds like a wise woman who I should have some coffee with.”

“I think that sounds like a terrific idea.”

I said munching over the words Brenda just said.

“Listen Luna I know we all face tough times, but try not to let it beat you down. You’re a lot stronger than you think and before you say you don’t want to be strong all the time you can ask for help. Go to people you trust and you’ll be surprised that they will actually listen to you and not think of you as a burden. Try to live in the present and be connected to the people you love and you’ll see things will get easier.” She looked me square in the eye when she said that and the waterworks started again, and she hugged me. As I hugged her I smelled her rose shampoo and fresh coffee and it grounded me in a way. Believe it or not when my anxiety is high I need hugs or just touches from people I know and trust.

Tagging:

@cariantha @aallotarenunelma

@thosehallowedhalls @alj4890

@a-cloud-for-dreams @karahalloway

@aria-ashryver @dutifullynuttywitch

@jerzwriter @liaromancewriter

@petalouda85 @bri1234

@kristinamae093 @adri-ja-96

@the-pale-goddess @rosesnink

@princess-geek @missameliep

@trappedinfanfiction

@storyofmychoices @tessa-liam

@tveitertotwrites @lilyoffandoms

@ladylamrian @harleybeaumont

And anyone else who’d love to participate 🩷

[corvuserpens]

A Girl, An Ocean {A Black Sails fanfic} - Ch. 6

Fandom: Black Sails Rating: Teen and up audiences Warnings: None Characters: Billy Bones, Hal Gates, James Flint, Jean DuBois, Mr. Logan, Mr. Muldoon, protagonist OC, supporting OCs Relationships: Billy Bones/OC, Hal Gates/OC (paternal), Jean duBois/OC (bffs) Additional tags: Original character-centric, first person POV, canon character x original character romance, self-discovery journey, kinda alternative prequel to canon, canon compliant, slow burn, mutual pining, friends to lovers, tooth-rotting sweetness, cute but also sexy, angst galore, found family, Hal Gates has two children now, canon typical violence Series: Part One of Six of A Girl, An Ocean Chapters: 6/13 Summary: At last, the crew arrives in Nassau and Constance gets to see it for the very first time. However, the experience is somewhat spoiled when the crew is called for one of the most dangerous and tedious labors a pirate must endure: careening.

Author's note: Originally, I had a particularly dramatic scene in this chapter written in a completely different way, and then I realized it was completely bonkers because of physics and had to change it 😅No matter. I ended up enjoying this version far better.

Chapter vi.

About a week later, we finally made landfall.

It was a foggy morning, as so often seemed to be the case. The sun had just begun its traverse through the sky, struggling to peek through the thick veil of mist, which rendered the sky a milky tone of white. The sea was calm, with small peaks of foam dotting her vast expanse here and there, whilst the Walrus' keel cut through them like scissors on silk.

At the helm, Mr. de Groot informed me that the island should be within sight any time, now. He gave me leave of my lessons to go climb the shrouds and search for it, even lent his spyglass so I could scan the horizon.

My heart pounded with anticipation. Despite the chilly breeze propelling us forward, my blood ran hot in my veins. Many were the stories I had heard of New Providence Island, each more terrifying than the last, so embellished and impregnated with legend that it became blanketed with an aura of myth. From England, it seemed so distant, so far away from my own perception that one could almost be forgiven for believing it didn't even exist.

But now... Now, I was about to see it with my own eyes.

As the hours passed, the mist dispersed. Sunlight forced its way through the wisps of cloud in bright beams, making the water glitter like jewels. Sea birds followed our sails with great cries, our very own welcoming committee. I noted that the usual smells of the sea were beginning to mingle with something else – wood smoke, tar, spices. Smells from land. I swerved the spyglass around more avidly, searching... searching...

And then... I saw it.

Nassau.

With a gasp, I scurried down the shrouds and ran along the railings, toward the bow. I gave poor Mr. Folsom a scare; he nearly choked on the apple he was eating.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” He yelled. “What's the damn rush??”

But I didn't stop to reply. My whole body was crackling with energy. Using my recently developed agility, I hopped onto the forecastle, past the rails and crawled along the bowsprit on all fours until I could grab onto the ropes connecting the sails to the foremast. I was risking a fall that would most certainly get me trampled by the ship's unstoppable hull, all so I could take a closer look.

Behind me, I heard dispersed laughter from the morning watch, no doubt amused at my childish excitement. It would be at least one more hour until we entered the bay and dropped anchor, but I didn't want to miss a single detail of that moment. I sat and straddled the bowsprit the whole while it took for the Walrus to approach.

Slowly, the featureless line of brown and green became more discernible. The first thing I noticed was the fort: a stone structure sitting on top of a tall hill, the sentry that would protect the town and its denizens from invasion by sea. Those smells I'd sensed so faintly, earlier, became stronger. At last, the settlement itself came into full view.

Nassau Town was unlike any place I had ever seen before. Here, there were no grand monuments of granite and marble - instead, tents and rickety wood structures dotted the white sand beaches. From a distance, the people were no more than ants scurrying about, and although I couldn't distinguish any of them individually, I could hear them. The racket coming from land was a constant droning of countless voices mixed with music played from de-tuned, old instruments.

And the smells... Spices and tar, but also roasting meats and drying fish, cracked and stale wood, freshly pressed sails, obnoxious perfumes, human bodies, all of them combined into a single odor that belonged only to Nassau. In the years that followed, and after countless adventures lived, I found that there was nowhere else in the world that smelled the same. It smelled like decadence and depravity. It smelled like home.

I could hardly wait to get on a launch and explore it.

However, my plans of running around town and soak it all in were about to get cut short. The anchors had barely gotten wet when Mr. Gates' voice thundered across the deck: "Listen up, you band of lubbers! Before you rush off toward the brothel, let it be known that you are all to report for the careening by eight bells to beach the old girl." A wave of groans followed these words. Since I had no idea what careening was, I turned to Logan with a furrowed brow. "He means bring the ship ashore to clear the hull of marine growth," he explained dejectedly. "Takes a long fucking time and it's rough work."

"Now, I know that's not what you want to hear," Gates conceded. "But you know as well as I that a proper and regular cleaning makes all the difference when we're on the hunt. It means a swifter, faster ship, which leads to better hauls and more gold lining your pockets that you can then piss away in a day or two with women and booze." That got a roiling cackle out of the men. Once again, just like that, Mr. Gates was able to shift the mood from a resisting force into something constructive. Whether the credit for it lied with the quartermaster's talent to mold people's minds at will, or the prospect of even more gold, prostitutes and rum, was hard to say.

The crew went out by order of seniority, which meant that, as the most recent recruit, I was stuck at the very back of the line. I paced around the deck like a woman possessed, pestering everyone with questions, crawling up and down the masts, making sure I had everything I needed to bring with me to land (which wasn't much, anyway). It was only half an hour, no more than that, that I had to wait, but it felt like an eternity.

Either way, before long I was in the water with the other newbies, including Jean, and we rowed together to shore. The closer we got, the more my senses were overwhelmed by the chaos of it all. Wherever I looked, there was something happening, something worth paying attention to, something disgusting that made me gag, something that filled me with wonder. I must have looked like a child in Christmas, surrounded by all that novelty, incapable of choosing a single thing to unravel and inspect furthest.

Next to me, Jean sniggered. "Your head is like a banner in the wind. You best be careful not to snap your neck!" I smiled from ear to ear. "I know, it's just... There is just so... Everything is so much, you know? I've never seen anything like it."

"Oui, I know. You never forget your first time in Nassau." Jean let out a wistful sigh, recalling his own experience with a nostalgic smile. In a matter of minutes, our group was on the jetty and spread through town. The sheer amount of goings-on was dizzying; I scarcely knew where to turn! Thankfully, I had Jean there to ground me and keep me from getting lost. He led me through the confusion of bodies, tents and objects of every kind like a veteran.

Once we found ourselves right at the center of it all, he stopped and turned to me. "So. Where would you like to start?" "Oh, Jesus, I don't know..." I spun around slowly for a moment, overwhelmed and at a loss. Not a minute ago, the jetty was behind us, but now it was nowhere in sight. I was irreparably turned around. "Where do you normally go?"

Just then, Muldoon and Logan emerged from the confusion and stood by my side. They traded a cheeky look that immediately made me regret asking anything. "Of course," I sighed with a shrug. "Stupid question." "Yeah, you really set yourself up for that one, didn't ya?" Logan snorted. "THAT may be a little too much for your Ladyship's sensibilities," Muldoon joked. "Fuck you," I snapped back. God forgive me, I was getting far too comfortable with profanities.

He patted my shoulder and nodded for us to follow him. "Let's start with the tavern and we'll go from there. C'mon." The tavern, as it turned out, was like a microcosm of the street: loud, bustling, ever-shifting. The only difference was that it was much more cramped - we literally had to shove people out of the way to even get to the bar. And it was stuffy in there. The weather in and of itself was hot enough, in the Bahamas; couple that with the human heat and the smell of sweat in that room and suddenly one knew exactly what a pod corn felt like boiling in a pot.

Still, it wasn't entirely unpleasant. People laughed and drank and played cards, or told each other about their latest conquests or traded gossip. The wooden furniture and open windows with their hand knitted off-white curtains blowing in the lazy breeze made the space feel cozy, almost homey, especially as the servants passed through the narrow space with trays full of steaming food.

When we finally reached the bar, Logan ordered lunch for us while Muldoon, Jean and I found a table. We ended up having to share it with a group of four already occupying most of it, but from the way my shipmates greeted them loudly, it was evident they were already acquainted. Muldoon didn't even have to ask; they invited us to sit instantly, shuffling around to make room for our group.

At first, I felt somewhat like an intruder, but the man sitting at my right, a burly one with arms thrice the width of mine and a bushy greying beard, offered me a tankard of ale with a warm smile, like we knew each other for decades. In a matter of seconds, I felt myself relax, for something in my gut told me I could trust him, that he meant no harm. I accepted the ale and took a swig to quench my parched throat. Although bitter, it was cool and satisfying in that intense heat.

The man patted my back with a laugh, and even if I almost choked from how hard he hit me, I joined in on his contagious laugh. I had never felt so accepted among strangers, so welcomed.

"That there is Hammer," Muldoon told me. "So named because he's good at using a hammer, whether to build or to crack a skull open, but mostly because he likes nothing more than to get hammered." A burst of cackles rattled the table. Hammer, not one bit offended at the jab, offered me his meaty hand, which I was going to shake, until he leaned down and placed the gentlest kiss on my knuckles. "A pleasure, m'lady." It was such an honest gesture, genuinely sweet and unassuming, that I had to giggle through a blush. At least he had manners, unlike some other pirates I knew.

"Nice to meet you, Hammer. I'm Constance."

Jean tapped my arm. “Look, over there. Here comes the Pirate Queen.”

I stretched my neck to see whom he was pointing at.

From the back of the room, a petite blonde lady crossed the tavern with the haughty gait of nobility. What she lacked in stature, she made up for it in poise; while she passed by our table like we weren't even there, she struck me as much taller based on her confidence alone. Men twice her size hurried out of her path and greeted her with utmost respect.

Long skirts covered her legs and her hair was done up in complex coils, but from the waist up she wore a vest over her blouse and a cravat, like a man. I couldn't help to notice how beautiful she was.

“Who is that?” I inquired after she was gone.

“Eleanor Guthrie,�� Logan answered. “She's the boss, around here. Her father used to be in charge, but after the Rosario raids, he fucked off to Harbour Island and she took his place. All trade on the island goes through her. It's thanks to her that we get to earn a living stealing off of rich merchant ships.”

“How does she do that?”

“We come in with our cargo, she stamps the Guthrie name on it and sells it to the colonies as if it were legitimately obtained.”

“It's the worst kept secret in the Bahamas, so I'm told,” Jean muttered. “But while Mr. Guthrie lines the pockets of the governors, the magistrates, the colonels and every other navy officer in on it, they won't lift a finger to accuse him. Everyone gets a piece of the cake, so to speak, and that's how we stay in business.”

I arched my eyebrows in incredulity. So that was the real issue with Nassau and her pirate scourge. It wasn't the pirates themselves; it was the corruption. And for as long as that corruption remained out of reach of the gavels in Whitehall... The problem would continue unresolved.

And now, I had become part of that problem.

I smirked to myself and drank some more ale. I once heard Folsom say something like, one man's trash is another man's treasure. In this case, one nation's problem was another woman's solution.

My solution.

I prayed that the corruption ran rampant in Nassau for many centuries to come.

*** After filling our bellies with roast pork, potatoes and a generous but not exaggerated amount of grog, our party returned to the beach to board the Walrus and steer her to a careenage - the steep beach we would use for the endeavor of beaching our ship. Normally, the maintenance of the hull and keel was made on a dry dock, but there wasn't one in Nassau, so we had to do it the hard way.

The way Logan explained the process of what we would be doing was something like this: during the high tide, our longboats would row in the Walrus until the keel touched the sand. Next, those on land would pull her further in. The ship would then be tilted at an angle on her side and the masts tied down to trees or whatever else was rooted firmly to the ground. Lastly, during the low tide, we could clear the hull of seaweed and barnacles with scoops. When one side was done, we would bring her back into the water, turn her around, and repeat the process. When both sides were done, she would be ready to sail again.

Careening could take anywhere between a few days to weeks. Everything that wasn't bolted down to the ship needed to be brought out, guns included (which we could use as anchor points in the absence of trees). What could be repaired would be brought to town; everything else was disposed of. The more Logan elaborated on the whole exercise, the least I looked forward to it.

When we arrived at the careenage, the longboats were already taking advantage of the tides to bring in the Walrus and a small crowd waited in the shade, while others bathed themselves in the sea to cool off.

Somewhere to the side, a tent was being erected. I noticed a small flock of scantly clad women sat near it, fanning themselves and fluttering their long lashes at any sailor who passed by. As we dropped on the cold sand beneath a palm tree, I felt an uncomfortable tightness in my stomach.

"Muldoon?” I said. “Who are those women?" He twisted around to look over his shoulder and gave me a shark-like grin. "Never you mind that. You probably wouldn't be interested, anyway."

I arched an inquisitive brow at him. "Interested...?" "You don't know that." Logan gave the other a playful shove. "Maybe she is into it and just doesn't know it yet. Don't knock it 'till you've tried it." "Oh, so you admit you've tried it with a bloke before?" Muldoon chortled. "I knew you were secretly queer, you bastard!" "No, I didn't say that!" Another shove, this one harsher than before, though it only made Muldoon laugh louder. "You know I only have eyes for Charlotte. In my case, I don't need to try it to know I won't enjoy it. A man knows these things." I turned to Jean while those two bickered. His face was flushed red, but I assumed it was from the heat, nothing more. Still, he was unusually quiet. "What the fuck are they talking about? And who's Charlotte?" He cleared his throat and refused to look at me whilst he scratched the back of his head. "Um... Well, you see, those women? They were hired from the brothel. Charlotte is... well..."

"A prostitute." Muldoon stated, plain and simple. "That there, is what we in the industry call a fuck tent." Now I was the one with a burning face. My mouth hung open in shock as I stared first at him, then at Logan (who winked and wagged his brows suggestively) and finally at Jean, who could do no more than glance sideways in my direction.

I had never heard of such a thing. It was scandalous! And yet... I was not at all surprised. Of course pirates would have something called a fuck tent.

"Oh." I huffed.

To their credit, Logan and Muldoon stifled back the need to laugh at my ignorance and lady-like mannerisms. "I suppose we don't need to explain what it's for, do we?" I shook my head. "No, thank you."

An hour latter, the Walrus was ready to be hauled ashore. Billy Bones divided us into lines across the beach so we were ready to receive the cables tossed to us from the ship. I was placed along the foremast, somewhere in the middle, between Logan, behind me, and Jean, at the front.

After verifying that everyone was in position, Billy joined the line at my left and wrapped his hands around the tether. "Aright, everyone ready?" He shouted.

In response, the crew gave a loud and unison 'Aye!'

"That's what I like to hear. On my mark!... Two, six--" "Heave!"

As one, we pulled on the cables. The sand shifted beneath my feet and I almost stumbled, but managed to remain firmly on them while tugging. Although the effort was great, since it was well distributed I found no difficulty to it. Not at first, at least. In a steady, continuous rhythm, Billy barked: "Two, six--!" "Heave!" Another strong tug. "Two, six--" "Heave!!" I screamed as loud as my voice and lungs permitted. Surprisingly, it did help make the exercise easier.

"Steady!" Billy adjusted his grip. His arms bulged with each pull, making the rolled up sleeves of his shirt strain under the stress.

Quickly, I turned my attention back to my task.

"Slow and steady!” He repeated. “Don't tire yourselves out!"

"C'mon boys, put your backs into it!" From the mizzen mast lines, Mr. de Groot's roughen voice reached my ears, encouraging the men.

For every pull and every step, the Walrus crept up the beach, a hulking beast that towered over the crew, ready to devour us. As I looked up at her massive hull and far-reaching masts, I felt tiny and insignificant before such a marvel of wood and rigging. "Oh, wow..." I swooned, awestruck. "Constance!" Billy called. "Get back to work!"

With a startle, I realized my grip had gone slack with my distraction.

"Sorry!" I scrambled to get back into the rhythm.

For God knew how long, we persisted on this almost Sisyphean task until the Walrus could go no further up the beach and our bodies could take no more. The job in itself wasn't so bad - it was the unrelenting sun and the heat. Swear dripped down my chest, my forehead, my back... everywhere, really! It got in my eyes and made them sting. My skin was so hot, I was about ready to rip it out with my own fingernails.

"Hold!" Billy commanded.

We pinned the balls of our feet into the sand and held the ropes in place.

I gripped my share with both hands close together, which strained my shoulders and back to the breaking point. With gritted teeth, I prayed the riggers would be quick with the lashes so I could finally let go.

"Psst! Constance!"

I looked back to Logan, who held on in a completely different posture. So did everyone else, in fact.

"Like this." He twisted his body to the side, just enough for me to see what he was doing. His feet were spread evenly apart, one in front, the other back. Likewise, he maintained his right hand in front of him, but the left was tucked close to his side, to keep the rope over his hip in a subtle angle.

As fast as I dared, I adjusted my pose to match his. Immediately, my muscles sighed in relief, while the cable remained secure. "Like this?"

"Just like that." He grinned with approval. "Feels better, doesn't it?"

"Much," I agreed, smiling back. "Thanks."

Fortunately, the riggers worked the ropes fast and swift, so we didn't have to wait much longer. Billy oversaw their task from his position while practically hanging off the cable like my uncle Charles' pet Capuchin, using his sheer weight to keep it taunt.

He whistled to get their attention. "All good, there?"

“We're good!” I heard Folsom confirm.

"Everyone! Release her, slowly! Slowly..."

Little by little, we let the tethers loose and hoped the anchor points would hold. I felt the hemp coils gently slip from my grasp, chafing my skin, and then it stopped. Up on high, the masts groaned in protest for a few seconds, and finally went quiet.

Still, for safety, we kept our fingers wrapped on the cables for another minute. Apart from the wind on the palm fronds and the lull of the waves, an eerie silence hung heavy on the beach.

When nothing happened, we collectively breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good job, lads." Billy said, signalling for us to let go and relax.

I massaged my back with a drawn out breath, then my thighs. I wasn't the only one; most of the crew complained from their arms and legs. Some simply let themselves flop on the sand like flounders. I myself felt tempted to do the same, but somehow managed to stay upright.

I'm gonna be so stiff, come morning, I groaned internally. And we still had to take care of the barnacles. Lord have mercy.

As I straightened up, I saw Billy walking among his mates to check if everyone was alright.

"Take a break while I divide the shifts," he said, just as he ducked under the cable at my left and passed our line by, one man at a time. When he reached me, he gave my shoulder a gentle touch and arched his eyebrows in a mute inquiry for my well-being. I nodded to let him know I was fine and he moved on. I turned to watch as he and Logan clasped their hands in a brotherly exchange and kept going, further and further away from me.

For some reason... I felt appreciated by that quick, yet meaningful pause to make sure I wasn't hurt. So did the others, I imagined. No wonder he was so loved by everyone. Frankly, he made it easy to like him.

"Thirty minutes, no more!” He warned once he reached the last man on our file. “Let's see..."

All around me, the crew began to dispose of their vests and shirts, unceremoniously. I could hardly blame them - their clothes were drenched with sweat and their faces were red from the effort, the heat and the booze they had likely consumed before presenting themselves for duty.

My borrowed shift was all humid as well. The way it stuck to my skin was so very uncomfortable, even as I pulled it away from my torso.

I followed Logan and Jean toward the water barrels for a much needed drink and saw they too had their backs bared to the sun.

"I wish I could do that," I hummed.

Logan snickered. "I mean, you could, if you really wanted to. No rules against it, here. It's not like none of us have never seen breasts before." The heavy layer of hope in his tone didn't go unnoticed.

"Dream on," I bit back while I poured a cup of fresh water. The feeling of it down my dry throat was like a balm on a burn, instantly relieving it. As soon as the cup was empty, I scooped up another.

"Suit yourself," he shrugged, then moved off to go find some shade.

Jean smiled timidly at me, then cupped his hands in the barrel to drench his face and neck. Once he was cool and satisfied, he sighed and leaned with his hands on it.

“Want to go dip our feet in the sea?” He offered.

“Hmm, let's.”

We went down the beach and walked out until the waves lapped at our ankles, close to the knee. Just our luck, a drooping palm tree had taken root near the water line, the perfect shelter from the sun.

I closed my eyes as we stood beneath its wide fronds. I don't know how long we stood there, just listening to the ocean and drinking water, but honestly? I could have stayed there in silence with my friend until nightfall.

“Feels nice, doesn't it?” He murmured.

I peeked from one eye. He had his closed, too, plus his hands tucked in the pockets of his trousers. I shut both lids again and smiled. “It does. One of these days, we should come back during down time and just sit right here.”

“There's a great idea,” he chuckled. “We bring something to eat, some good ale, proper attire to go for a swim, if we want. Mon Dieu... I would want for nothing else.”

On that, I completely concurred. The soft breeze blew my hair to the side and brushed my neck deliciously. I pulled it out of my shoulders, pinned it down on top of my head and almost moaned. I could sense the excessive heat pour out of my body and it felt so fucking good.

Unfortunately, duty called. And it sounded just like Billy Bones.

"Gather 'round, you bunch of lazy bums! Gather 'round for the shifts.”

A chorus of groans followed his call.

“C'mon, you've had your rest, now get over here."

Sighing, I finished my water and prepared to go back to work.

However, when I turned around on my feet, I got my first good look at the ship's hull and felt my heart drop to the ground: it wasn't wood colored, like it was supposed to - it was white with barnacles!

How the fuck were we supposed to remove all that? It seemed impossible!

Jean, who was a couple of paces ahead of me, stopped, looked over his shoulder when he realized I had stayed behind and burst into laughter. My face of terror must have seemed hilarious to him.

“Considering making a run for it?” He jested.

In response, all I did was stare at him slack-jawed. He laughed some more and kept going.

Oh God, oh sweet baby Jesus, please let me have the second shift.

I stopped at the edge of the gathering crowd and crossed my fingers. Billy read aloud from the list he'd made.

"First shift: Abel. Bobby. Burns. Craig. Constance..."

Fuck. So much for my adoration for Billy.

With slumped shoulders and a resigned heart, I joined the growing line of unlucky bastards who would get to start scrapping barnacles until six bells.

*** "You're sure this is necessary?" I asked Folsom at around four bells.

For the better part of the afternoon, I had been breaking my nails and covering my hands in bloody gashes by prying the blasted barnacles from the port side of the keel. Half of our team worked on the ground or even under the hull, while the other was on scaffolds and hung from suspended planks to do the upper part of the ship.

We would take breaks once in a while for about thirty minutes each. Once again, being the newest addition, I was last to get my turn. Obviously.

When it finally came, I drank at least three cups of water before I flopped on my back under the extensive shade of the ship. It felt so nice, I almost fell asleep... Until someone tapped my leg.

Folsom was grinning down at me with his near-toothless mouth when I cracked my eyes open. Behind him stood Muldoon and Logan, both also smirking like they shared a secret. They were there to tell me my break was over and it was time to go back to work, except instead of leading me to the hull, they made me climb a net that hung from the rails, then the shroud, all the way to the mast. Folsom accompanied me and brought a coil of rope wrapped around his torso. The excuse they gave me to get up there was that the main sail footrope needed replacement, but it made no sense. Tilted at that steep angle, it seemed impossible. Still, given that they were all far more experienced than I and how eager I was to impress them, I followed along.

And so, there we were, hanging several hundred feet off the ground.

"Aye, quite necessary," he assured me. "You don't want the rope snapping while one of us is on it, do you?" "Sure, but why don't we do it when the ship is upright?" I questioned whilst crawling over the platform's aperture around the mast to get to the footrope in question. "This feels dangerous."

I went quiet to focus on not falling to my death. Folsom didn't reply. After I found a good position straddling the mast, I turned - and caught him shimmying down the rope he had brought along while stifling a snort. On the ground, far, far below me, the rest of my shift looked up with big smiles as they urged him down. "Oy!" I called. "Where the hell are you going?!" "Why, off for a quick fuck and a tankard of ale!" Folsom cackled. "Wait--" I looked around, suddenly realizing that I had no idea how to get out from my position without help. My heart burst into a mad rhythm. "How am I supposed to get down??"

"Oh, don't worry, love!" I heard Muldoon cackled. "We'll come back to get you in no time!... As soon as we're done, of course!" "Folsom!!" I bellowed at the top of my lungs, equal parts furious and scared out of my wits. "Folsom, you get back up here right now or so help me God!!!"

"Hazing's not over yet, newbie!" He laughed. When he reached firm ground, he gave the rope a tug and I watched in utter horror as the knot he'd tied broke up and the line fell at his feet. "Hang in there, Constance!" Logan joked. Then, they all turned around and walked away to our camp, leaving me trapped on the mast.

Oh, I was SO going to knock the rest of Folsom's teeth out. With an oar! And chase the rest of them out of town for a fortnight! Bloody... pirates!! Shit, I was so high up. I could see the town, a few miles from where we were. I could also see the fort and a good stretch of the jungles toward the interior. So, the view was nice.

But the heat... the heat was unbearable.

With my sleeve, I wiped the thick layer of sweat from my forehead and tried to ignore the feeling of boiling alive from the inside out. Summer was almost upon us, which meant the sun wouldn't go down for at least another three or four hours. And God only knew how long those bastards would take coming back. "Fuck..." I bent my body forward so I could rest my forehead on the mast. It was growing weak from the labor and the sweltering temperatures. How long had I been perching there...? A minute? Ten? An hour? Whatever water I had taken during my break was long gone, poured right out of my skin, and now a mad thirst gripped my throat. If I stayed up there much longer, I was sure to faint and drop. I would most certainly die.

Somehow, I had to find a way out of that mast.

I glanced behind me, at the platform. The shrouds were well within my reach. If I could shuffle backwards and crawl through again, I could climb down to safety. I just had to keep telling myself it wasn't so hard.

Besides... I could just imagine the look on those morons' faces when I found them and slapped them all across the face, one by one. The thought put a frail smile on my lips. They were going to pay dearly for this prank, oh yes, they were.

Slowly, I started pushing back along the mast, squeezing with my thighs to stay upright. I was so tired, I could barely breathe. My brain was sluggish, like it was about to melt out of my ears. Just another few centimeters... a few more... I reached the platform. As cautiously as I could, I swiped one leg over the mast, then the other, reached out to hold onto the edge of the passage that would lead to the shrouds-- A wave of dizziness robbed me of my balance. My bloodied fingers scrapped the wood and dropped into nothing. Then, my whole body slipped from the mast and suddenly there was nothing separating me from the ground. My heart stopped. I opened my mouth to scream. My hand hooked onto something -- the footrope.

Quickly, I snapped my free arm up and held on for dear life while I swung lazily back and forth.

"Oh dear..." I whispered to myself. Out of some stupid instinct, I took a peek down and immediately regretted it. I was too far high. If I fell, I would break every bone in my body. My flesh would become a gelatinous mess on the beach.

A wave of nausea punched my stomach at the thought.

"Help... Someone..." Fuck, I was scared, almost too scared to raise my voice. “Helloooo...? Help..."

This was it. I was going to die. My little adventure was over before it truly began and it was all over a stupid joke, I couldn't believe it...!

I shut my eyes tight and tried to calm my racing mind. This couldn't be it. This couldn't be how my story ended. I had to fight, just as I'd done with Cutthroat Fred. I kicked my feet to build momentum and try to find purchase on the platform, but my legs had gone numb and my arms were too used up from the day's work. There was no way I could pull myself up.

The crew was in the camp, very close by. I could hear them conversing and shouting at each other, singing shanties, playing music. If I could just scream, someone was bound to hear me. So I sucked in a shaky breath and cried: "Help! Help! Somebody! Heeeeelp!!!"

I could feel my sweaty hands starting to slip. My arms went into spasms, stretched to their limit. It was a matter of time before I fell. I tried to scream louder. "Somebody, please, help me!!" For a short moment, all chatter came to a stop. Then, someone shouted in alarm and a commotion followed, of men calling out for rope, for a net, telling me to hold on, that help was coming.

Above all others, I heard Billy's thunderous roar telling them to get out of the way. I risked another glance down. He hadn't wasted a second; he crawled up the net, ran over the railing on light feet, then up the shroud. In less than a minute, he was at the platform. “Hold on, Constance!" He urged me. "Hold on just a little longer! I'm coming to get you.” My palms chafed against the hemp. “Please, hurry!”

No sooner had the words left my mouth, one of my hands finally gave out. My panicked cry mingled with those of the men on the beach. My fingers trembled on the rope as they lost their strength.

“Fuck! Fuck, Billy, I'm slipping!”

“Almost there!” He passed through the platform, balanced his enormous body on the mast and snatched my wrist at the exact moment I lost my grip on the footrope with a scream. Time stood still. Wide eyed, I stared down at the ground, at the indiscernible faces of the Walrus' men while they held their breaths and brought their hands to their heads. But they stayed where they were. They didn't rush up to me.

Stunned, I slowly let my head fall back. Billy's hand gripped my arm so tight, my fingers had turned purple. He returned my look of shock with his own, like he could scarcely believe he had reached me in time.

“I got you," he puffed. "I got you."

With my breath caught in my lungs, I stared up at his face, red and drenched from his efforts. I could hardly believe I was still alive, too.

"Billy..." He took in a breath, gritted his teeth and heaved me up.

The second I was within reach, I hooked my arm onto the mast and clambered up with his help. He fell back on the platform and held me to him, breathing laboriously, while I buried my nose on the crease of his neck and clung onto his shirt like a child did to their parent after a nightmare.

“It's alright.” His voice was quiet and soothing, not at all judgemental, even as I trembled and sobbed into his skin. One of his hands smoothed down my hair in slow sweeps, over and over, which helped settle my nerves, if only a little. “It's alright. You're safe.”

My teeth chattered too much for me to respond, but I was so grateful for him. So grateful. To my shame, hot tears prickled my eyes and ran down my cheeks, staining his shirt. I hoped no one would notice – especially not him.

After a few minutes of this, I finally found my courage, dried my eyes and pulled away. Billy gave me a once over to assess my state and make sure I wasn't hurt. "You all right?" "Y-yes..."

Through the haze of panic, I realized we were much too close. I was practically on top of him. Yet, there was no room for me to put distance between us, so I remained where I was, though I at least moved my hands from his chest to the platform behind him.

"Good..." He cracked a smile and pushed a loose piece of hair behind my ear. "Feeling brave enough to go back down?"

I took a look over my shoulder, saw the thirty or so men below, as small as toy soldiers, and got this strange impression that the ground was rushing further away from me. With a gasp, I shut my eyes tight and shook my head. "That's fine, don't worry." He touched my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "We can just sit here for a bit until you're ready, yeah?" I nodded, did my best to focus on my breathing so I could clear my head. How were we going to get out of that predicament? We were too far high, there was barely anything to grab onto, no space for maneuvering. It was impossible.

Against my best efforts, my breath became shallow. My throat clogged up with a new wave of sobs that tried to force their way out. Fuck me, I was going to start crying again, right in front of Billy. Pathetic. Girly. Weak.

"Do you have any siblings?" I snapped my eyes open. For an instant, I forgot all about our current situation. "... What?" I quipped. "I asked if you have any siblings," he repeated. Calmly. Casually. Like we were sitting down for tea instead of perched hundreds of yards in the air. "Brothers? Sisters?"

"I-I do." I shook my head to get it to focus on his question. "Sisters. Five sisters." "No brothers?" Had he perhaps gone mad from the heat? I continued to stare at him with my mouth hanging open. "You want to know about this now?"

"I'm trying to distract you from the fear," he explained with a chuckle.

How was he so tranquil about everything?? Why wasn't he scared out of his mind? It was absurd!

"No brothers, then. Six girls. Tell me about them. Are they older than you? Younger?" I swallowed a lump in my throat. "I'm the third youngest." "How old is the eldest?" My gaze wandered back down.

"Constance." I returned my stare to his. "Keep your eyes on me. How old is your eldest sister?"

His brow was so tense that the skin creased in deep furrows. His eyes were an bright blue color, almost electric, blinding. They demanded my full attention. I found that I couldn't look away, even if I wanted to. "Thirty-nine," I sighed. "She's thirty-nine years old." "And the second eldest, how old is she?" "Thirty-four."

"The third eldest?" His gaze softened and, to my surprise, I felt my body start to relax. "She's thirty-two," I told him. My voice was nearly back to normal. "What about you?" He offered me a warm smile that made my stomach do a flip. "How old are you?" I managed a snort. "It's very rude to ask a lady her age."

That got his smile to widen. "Well, I figured since a I already asked about the age of three other ladies, you wouldn't mind. Besides, I'm curious." He rested his head against the platform. "I want to know." If I didn't know better, I would say he was flirting with me. My gaze dropped to the strings adorning his neck.

"I'm twenty-eight," I murmured. “I will turn twenty-nine in August." He made a little hum. "I'm twenty-eight, too." I looked up again with a stupid wide grin. "You are?" "Just turned, three months ago." "Happy belated birthday," I chuckled.

"Thank you." There was a pause then, like he was waiting for something whilst searching my face. His smile faded away. "What about your two younger sisters? How old are they?" "Twenty-one and fifteen," I replied. "Do you miss them a lot...?" My heart did a plunge. I bit my lip to stop the sorrow from getting the best of me and nodded a couple of times.

"You will see them, again." He swore. "I'm going to get you out of this mess, and you will see them again, alright? I promise." A tremulous smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. "I don't know about the second part... but if you can get me out of this mess, I would consider myself satisfied." I saw a question flash in his eyes, but whatever it was, he didn't pronounce it. Instead, he gave my shoulder another squeeze.

"Ready to go back to solid ground?"

To resist the temptation to look down, I let my eyes shut one last time and pressed my mouth into a tense line. "Not really... but let's go." "Right. Um..." I opened my eyes slowly at his hesitation. He was studying our current position to formulate our exit strategy. It wouldn't be easy; the mast was tilted at a pretty steep angle, which pushed me onto him and offered us very little space to move. His cheeks, already rosy from the heat, turned a brighter shade of red. "Aye, right. Constance... I'm going to need you to pass your leg over me, plant both feet on the platform and... lie back."

Every inch of me went still, even my brain. Especially my brain.

"I... beg your pardon?" "I-I need space to get up and climb to the other side," he stammered, no longer able to look me in the eye. "Which means you have to lie flat on the mast so you won't fall while I do that."

If my face wasn't already burning up, it would have surely combusted. He was talking about my straddling him -- as in, having him between my legs. I might have slapped him, were it not for three things:

One, there were literally no better alternatives.

Two, I liked and respected him too much.

And three, he had just saved my life. "All due respect," Billy muttered as he peered at me with utter embarrassment. "If you really want to get out of here, I'm afraid you're going to have to discard your puritanical sensibilities for a few minutes." It would be the most scandalous thing I had ever done until that moment, but I could recognize it was necessary. So, after taking a shaky breath, I started to move.

Slowly, being extra careful not to touch him, I pulled my left leg up and over his hips. He stayed perfectly still, patiently waiting while I positioned both my feet on either side of him. My face was inches from his; I could feel his shallow breath on my cheek. I licked my dry lips and began to ease myself back, but then stopped, too afraid to drop abruptly and risk falling. I flicked a glance at him. "Would you mind...? Helping me lie back..." His Adam's apple bobbed. "Sure."

He took hold of my elbows and lowered me until I was lying fully on my back with him half on top of me.

My heart was pounding in my chest. I could feel it kicking against my ribs, heard it drum in my ears. However, as I looked up at him and he down at me, lips slightly parted over his perfect teeth, it wasn't dread that I felt. At my core, a simmering sensation of heat spread up my belly and down my thighs, filled my chest with an intense longing. Desire. I was feeling desire. "You good?" He hummed, so softly I half wondered if he had spoken at all.

"Aye..." The new wave of thirst filling my mouth had nothing to do with my need to take in water. "I think so..." "Good... In that case, I'm going to let go and get a move on. Do exactly as I do, yeah? I'll wait for you on the other side and we'll climb down the shroud together." "Uh-huh..." His hands slipped away from me so he could lean on the platform again. Next, he turned on his side, grabbed onto the edges of the aperture and slid his legs through it. After he had crossed to the other side, he poked his head out. "C'mon. Remember, don't look down. Keep your eyes on me."

I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself before I sat up and slid down the mast. I passed one leg first, then the other, going painfully slow compared to when I climbed up. I couldn't understand how I'd done it without a drop of fear, yet now struggled to hold it at bay so I could concentrate.

"That's it..." Billy encouraged me in hushed tones. "Take your time, find your footing. You're doing great, Constance."

He moved back to give me space while I passed the rest of my body through that narrow opening. Never once did I look down, nor let go of the platform. It was the only way I knew to stay calm and collected. "There you go." Billy dropped his feet onto the ratlines and grinned as he rested his arms on the mast. "See? Hard part is done. Now we just climb down, hand over foot."

Right...

I risked a brief glance down. We were still so far from the beach... That illusion of the ground sinking away from me returned, stronger this time. I immediately snapped my gaze back to Billy's, who watched me with some apprehension. "Do you need to stop?" He asked me in that casual tone, no pressure in his voice at all. I shook my head no. The sooner we reached the earth, the better. "Let's go, then. No rush, yeah? I'll match your pace."

Very carefully, I lowered myself onto the shrouds. Billy waited until I was by his side before he too started his descent, so we could go together. The whole while, he reminded me to take my time, to look at my hands, told me I was making good progress. I truly believe that, if it hadn't been for him, I never would have left that mast alive. Finally - finally! - we touched down on the rails. The crew shouted their own encouragement, urging me to keep going, that I was almost there, just a little more. I waved at them so they would know I was all right, but the truth was that, even as we were closer to the ground, it was still too high. I kept a tight grip on the ratlines and fought to contain the nausea rolling in my stomach.

About two and a half meters from me, Billy stopped and frowned. "What's wrong?" "I... I feel dizzy," I moaned. The nausea, I realized, was caused by the light-weight sensation my head was in, coupled with swimming vision and a feeling of being out of balance. I was certain that if I let go of the shrouds, I would faint and probably never wake again. Billy shuffled sideways to return to my side and held out his arm. "Take my hand. I'll help you." Struggling to control my breaths, I stared at his open palm for a second or two before taking it. However, as he started to move away, I gripped it tight and froze. When he realized I wasn't moving, he looked up and tilted his head. "What if I fall...?" I whispered. My bulging eyes clung to his desperately, but he only smiled and squeezed my fingers.

"You won't fall," he said. "I saw you sprint along the bowsprit on all fours like a damn cat. You can do this, Constance. I'm right here and I'm not leaving your side, alright? Even if this takes all night." I let his words envelop me and sighed in relief when my heart settled. We were so close to the end. The net was right there. I could make out the faces of each man below as they waved me over, promising to catch me if I slipped.

Jean was right at the front, pale as a sheet, hands cupped over his eyes to shield them from the sun.

All I had to do was let Billy guide me. Only a few dozen steps later, we reached the net. Billy didn't let go of my hand until the last moment. On wobbly legs, I descended, step by step, one hand over the other...

When I felt hands on my arms, shoulders and back, I knew it was over.

The crew – my crew – aided me down and settled me on the sand. Jean pushed his way through them to kneel at my side and lay a comforting hand on my back. Behind him, a sea of heads hovered over us, telling me to lie on my back and breathe, asking if I was injured, if I needed water, or perhaps some ale? They inquired each other as to what had happened, where was the rest of the watch, why I was up there all alone? I couldn't answer any of their questions. My head was still spinning wildly. Ironically, now that I was on the ground, safe and sound, the nausea was getting worse. I pressed my palms into my eyes and bent over. I was going to vomit any minute, could feel that tell-tale burn just under my jaw getting stronger and stronger. “Get back, you lot!" Billy commanded. "Give her room to breathe. Jean, move over.”

Callous fingers, gentle as the touch of grass, hooked around my wrists and tugged lightly on them. I resisted. "I think I'm going to be sick," I warned them.

"Put your head between your knees. It'll help."

I did so, keeping my eyes closed so the spinning would stop. My mouth watered repeatedly and at first that burn got worse, but with the passing seconds, it faded away. My stomach calmed and returned to normal. Jean rubbed gentle circles on my back while Billy held my hand in one of his. His thumb stroked my skin almost tenderly. "It's all right, Constance," he murmured. "It's over, now. Just breathe."

Jean huffed a laugh and said, in French: "You are, without a doubt, the luckiest girl I've ever met. Christ almighty." I managed a frail chuckle. "Or maybe I just have very good friends," I replied, also in his mother tongue.

At last, I was well enough to sit up straight and look at them. Billy was crouching in front of me. The sun shone bright behind him like a halo, giving him this almost angelical look. That, combined with his blue eyes, tinged with concern, his flushed tan skin and his golden hair, always cropped short, struck me in that moment as so beautiful that my breath caught in my throat. The dizziness and the fear washed away from me, replaced with a sense of peace, of... safety. I was safe. Not just from certain death, either; from everything. As long as Billy was there to watch out for me, I would always be safe. He smiled with relief as he saw I had recovered. “There we go. Good girl.”

Hesitantly, the rest of the crew closed in around us. They kept a safe distance for my sake, though they were worried and eager to take a look at me. No one spoke up above a whisper, like they were afraid to perturb me further or break the tranquility both Billy and Jean had instilled in me.

There were no words to describe what I felt for those men, all of them, as I took in each and every one of their faces. I tried many times since then, but they always fell short of how my chest sizzled, igniting with this warm feeling of belonging. More than my crew, this was my family. The one I had chosen and the one that had chosen me, in return.

One thing I do know for sure: after that day, I would have died for any one of them. No exceptions. No conditions.

“Constance!”

All heads turned inland to see who was coming. Billy's face, soft and kind while he took care of me, twisted into a frightening scowl of barely contained rage. He turned to Jean. “Stay with her?”

“Oui,” the other nodded.

Billy let go of my hand, stood to his full height and marched out through the men, who quickly parted to let him pass, spooked by that dark expression.

Mr. de Groot advanced from the crowd. In his hand, he carried a bucket. He took Billy's place and offered a ladle full of water. “How about something to drink, hmm?”

Having mastered my fear, I sat up straight and accepted the water, sipping slowly so I wouldn't choke. Not far from us, an argument exploded.

“Oh God, is she alright?” I heard Muldoon asking – followed by the dry sound of a fist landing on a jaw.

A chorus of “oh” rose and fell in a wave.

“Where the fuck were you?!” Billy bellowed. “You left her up there alone without aid! She almost died!”

Logan's voice: “We were only gone for a minute to get something to eat! It was just a joke, I swear!”

“Well your fucking joke could have cost her life! It's like I'm dealing with a bunch of amateurs instead of seasoned seamen! Are you all amateurs?! What am I always telling you? Stick together and watch each other's backs! And what did you do? The exact fucking opposite! What is wrong with you?!”

No answer.

I couldn't see much, but from a tight breach in the crowd I managed to spot Muldoon on the sand, bleeding from a burst lip. Despite the humiliation, he didn't dare get back on his feet. The mood among the crew was of intense interest mixed with resentment. For me. Against them. If it weren't for Billy standing between them and my watch, they probably would have torn my watch apart for abandoning one of their own in such a precarious, dangerous situation.

De Groot tried to give me more water. “Never you mind that. Have another sip.”

Gently, I turned the ladle down, anxious to see what would happen next. On the one hand, I was angry at them for what they had done; a joke is only a joke while all parties are perfectly safe. This had gone too far. Billy was right, I could have died.

On the other... I couldn't help to pity them. This was grave indeed and the punishment would have to match the trespass.

“Unbelievable.” Billy said. “You really have nothing to say for yourselves?”

“What's going on here?”

Mr. Gates.

Again, all heads whipped around as the crowd parted. And it wasn't just Gates – Captain Flint followed close behind.

His presence alone blanketed us all with a sense of unease.

Captain and quartermaster surveyed the scene: Muldoon bleeding on the sand; my shift mates tweedling their thumbs, chins tilted down in shame; Billy towering over them, arms crossed over his chest; and me, still trembling from the aftershock as Mr. de Groot and Jean tended to me.

Flint's stare hopped from my sheet-white face to the careened ship and back, stopping at my hands. Suddenly, I became very aware of the dried blood that covered them, from scrapping barnacles all afternoon.

Billy gave them the account of what had happened, from the moment they first heard my cries for help to the scolding he was delivering Logan and the rest. Gates' expression turned darker and darker with each word, going red, then purple, then red again. On the other hand, Flint remained impassive, his hands tucked behind his back as he listened.

When Billy finished the report, Gates turned on my friends, fists shaking at him sides.

“These are some serious allegations. I ought to pin you down to that sandbar until high tide! Captain--” He turned to Flint. “I believe a trial is in order. We can't let this one slide. Someone could have died.”

Murmurs of agreement spread about, faces grim as they looked between me and my neglectful companions. And to think, only a few hours ago, we were at the tavern eating and laughing together. Now, I could hardly look at them.

From my left side, I felt a persistent tingle on my cheek and turned my head to look: Captain Flint stared at me from across the crowd, examining me.

I don't know what he divinated from my eyes, but after almost a minute, he broke contact and addressed the crew. “I agree. Let's take a moment to collect ourselves and get the story straight. I will hear the account of all parties involved... And then we go to votes.”

The crowd split up. Muldoon, Logan and the others were taken away and made to sit on the sand under some shade, with a ring of men standing guard over them. Mr. de Goot and Jean helped me to my feet and took me to the aft of the Walrus, where they sat me on a rustic wooden chair. They insisted I had some more water and biscuits, to recover my strength; they tasted like sawdust on my tongue and felt just as rough. One month in this crew and this would be the second trial I was at the center of. How unlucky could I be?

Not long after, Captain Flint and Mr. Gates came to me to hear my version of the story. I told them everything, swearing to the truth of my words. After they left to go talk to the others, I bent over my knees and held my head in my hands, worried about what was going to happen to them. No matter how I had wanted to shove my fist into all their kissers, I didn't want them to get too hurt. Or worse, expelled from of the crew.

Yet, with a sinking feeling, I was certain that was the most likely outcome.

Out of nowhere, a heavy hand clamped on my shoulder, nearly startling me out of my seat.

“Sorry,” Billy said in response to my gasp. “Didn't mean to scare you.”

“It's fine,” I sighed while massaging my heart. “Guess I'm still a little out of it.”

He crouched in front of me, same as before. With a quiet snort, I realized that, even low to the ground and while I was on a chair, he still towered over me.

“Something funny?” He asked.

“No, it's just...” I tilted my head back just a smidge to look him in the eyes. “I was thinking that even when you're crouched, I still have to look up to you. How did you get to be so damn tall?”

A shy, adorable smile graced his features and he brought a hand up to scratch at his nose. I decided then and there that a bashful Billy Bones was my favorite Billy Bones.

“Would you be surprised to find out I was once tiny and skinny?”

“Noooo... Really?” I arched my eyebrows at him, trying to imagine him as a short, lanky child (I couldn't).

He nodded a couple of times whilst that smile widened into a relaxed chuckle. “Really. Until my sixteenth birthday, I was a spit of a kid. Then I had a growth spurt and just... Never stopped stretching.”

I pointed to his broad shoulders and large arms. “Upwards or sideways,” I jested.

“No, that part came from hard work and dedication. It takes effort to get this big, y'know?”

I laughed, delighted that he played along instead of chiding me. He was still the boatswain, after all, and I a subordinate. My adoration from earlier returned in full force, especially as I recalled how he saved me from falling to my death. I was indebted to him for that and had no way to repay him. Or so I thought, then.

Sighing through my nose, I chipped off the flakes of dried blood from my forearms. “Thank you, by the way... For saving my life. It was very brave of you.”

He half shrugged, avoiding my gaze. “What else was I supposed to do? Let you fall?”

Now it was my turn to be bashful. I let my head turn to the side so he wouldn't see my flushed cheeks or my big, stupid smile.

“Listen, uh...” A pause, during which his tone shifted to something more serious. “I wanted to talk to you about what's going to happen next. With the trial.”

My smile crumbled right out of my face. Slowly, reluctantly, I faced toward him once more. He wasn't smiling anymore, either. In fact, there was something fierce behind that calm demeanor, something violent – a caged animal fighting to be let out.

“Things aren't looking good for those dumbasses. You and I both know that expulsion from this crew is going to be the inevitable result in all this mess. However...”

He let out a heavy breath and rubbed his palms together. “As angry as I am about the whole thing, that's not what I want. Apart from my friends, those men are good sailors and it would be a waste to have a handful of our best leave suddenly, all at once.”

He scrutinized my features carefully. When he saw the way I pouted, gaze on the sand at my feet, his sneer softened up. “And I get the feeling that's not what you want, either.”

I shook my head side to side. “No. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm pissed beyond belief, and it's gonna take me a long while to forget about all this. But I don't want to see them banished. They're my friends, too, and they didn't mean any harm by it. They were just... inconsiderate.”

“And as you know, there are some in the crew that would much rather see you gone than they,” he pointed out.

Like Mr. Singleton. Mr. Turk. Cutthroat Fred... Indeed, it was no secret that a not-insignificant number of the men didn't like me, never had and probably never would. They only tolerated me because Mr. Gates willed it so, and Flint ordered it so, and Billy and a handful of others enforced it so.

“I think--” He continued. “You would go a long way to gain their favor if you were to publicly declare you held no grudge against them for their antics and voted in favor of them staying.”

I leaned back on the chair and searched his eyes. “Do you think it would be the right thing to do?”

He made a face of 'I dunno'. “Doesn't matter what I think. I'm just laying out the cards for you. You're the wronged party here. What do you think?”

I chewed on my bottom lip for a bit, torn between resentment and love for my friends. I would forgive them... One day. And they would have to remain a part of the crew in order for that to happen.

“I think it would be for the best, for everyone. Including me. I want to forgive them. I want them to have a chance to earn that forgiveness.”

A half smile crossed his lips. He reached out to give my forearm an encouraging touch. “Very well, then. I'll let the captain know you're ready.” He stood to his feet and walked away.

Where his hand had been, I suddenly felt very cold. I liked his touch. It reminded me of the feeling of honey on my fingertips, silky and supple, or how the waves licked at my ankles, like earlier that afternoon. Inadvertently, the thought that he was certain to give great hugs tugged at my gut.

Then it struck me that, in a way, I already knew how good his hugs were. He had held me against him so strongly, up on the mast, yet so carefully, at the same time. His hand was so gentle as it stroked my hair, and his skin...

God, his skin. Smooth, sun-kissed, feverish. He smelled of sweat, but not the kind that burned your nose and made you want to hurl. It had the kind of natural musk that was strong, but not unpleasant, a smell so delicious it made my mouth water. If I could of have it lathered on my own skin, I would bask in that scent for eternity.

Alarmed, I realized that my chest was hurting from the way my heart pounded. With wide eyes, I covered my mouth with my fingertips, horrified at my own carnal thoughts. The same thing had happened up there, when I'd had him between my thighs and...

Heat crept up my neck and cheeks and forehead, until even my hair roots seemed to be catching fire. Oh, this wasn't good. This was not good, at all.

*** The sky was beginning to turn a lovely shade of pink when the crew gathered around in a wide circle on the beach.

Mr. Gates, my friends and myself were at the center of it. Captain Flint stood to the side, on the front row of this circus. Though he presided over the crew, he was also an equal among them, for during trials, the captain's vote held no more sway than the lowest ranking deckhand.

Torches had been lit as the cloak of night crept on us, so we wouldn't be stumbling in the dark by the time this was finished. I pulled Jean's borrowed frock tighter around my shoulders to fight off the cold that gained strength as the day died out. "So," Gates began. "We all know why we're here, but to recapitulate, I will give you a quick account of the events that led to this trial.”

He cleared his throat. “This afternoon, at four bells, the defendants before you were selected to form the first shift chucking and tarring the hull of the Walrus. Sometime after six bells, they saw fit to leave their colleague, Miss Constance Tilly, alone on the mast while they went to get food and drinks, as a poorly conceived method of hazing. Under the sweltering heat, she feared for her life and saw fit to try to come down by herself. As a result, she slipped and hung several hundred yards in the air. As she does not yet possess the brute strength spending months at see bestows upon a sailor, and after the better part of the day working practically without reprieve, she was unable to climb up to safety. She called out for help and our boatswain, Billy Bones, courageously went up the shrouds to rescue her. It is solely thanks to him that Constance is still drawing breath." I had to smile hearing the little note of pride in that last sentence. Billy tried not to show, but his chest puffed visibly as he held himself tall, with a small smile on his lips. "As such, we are now here gathered to vote on whether to oust the defendants from this crew, definitely and irreversibly."

Gates addressed my companions, who each held a mixture of regret, fear and trepidation on their faces. "Gentlemen, this is your opportunity to defend your honor before your shipmates. Who among you do you choose to represent you?" Mr. Folsom came forward. "I will represent our party."

"Very well." Gates stepped back with an outstretched hand, inviting him to take the stage. Folsom started by taking in the silent men, eyes lingering on those I knew were personal friends of his. He spoke to them first.

"What we did today was unforgivable. Of this, we are aware. By our own recklessness, Constance could have lost her life over a moronic prank. She might be new in our midst, but she has proven her worth time and time again. She's a quick study, hard-working and serviceable. Never denied lending a hand and never complains. Well... for the most part. But whom among us never complained at least once?"

A wave of uneasy laughter rolled through the men. Even I had to smile, a little.

Next, he turned his attention to me and I saw the furrow of his brow deepen in honest guilt. "You may have joined less than a month ago, but we already consider you a part of the crew. That makes you a sister to us, which should cover us all the more in shame. Please know we bore no ill will toward you. We never meant to put you in real danger, yet that's exactly what we did. Can you find it in your heart to forgive us?" Though he spoke for everyone to hear, and this apology was just as much for their benefit as it was for mine, somehow I knew it was directed first and foremost to me. I searched the faces of the other accused and saw nothing but regret and the need for absolution.

If it had been Logan, I might have forgiven them before bed. If it had been Muldoon, I would have made good on my thread by giving him an extra bruise on the jaw to pair up with Billy's and forgiven them the following day.

But it was Folsom who apologized for them all. Folsom, with whom I'd had my first altercation and for whom I'd developed deep respect. I had learned so much from him, once we'd found some common ground.

He looked so humble before me, before us, as he begged forgiveness. "Constance?" Mr. Gates called. "Would you care to say a few words before we vote?"

I tilted my chin up and sighed through my nose. Without taking my eyes away from Mr. Folsom, I declared: "I won't lie and say I'm not angry with you. I am. You shouldn't have left me alone up there. Today... was the scariest day of my life and I won't forget that so soon." Folsom's fists balled up. Logan, Muldoon and the others gawked at me, fearful, no doubt already counting the minutes before they found themselves out of a job. I was making them squirm, sure, but could I be blamed? Honestly? Then I glanced at Billy, who observed me with a knowing smirk. He nodded ever so slightly in approval. I returned my attention to Folsom and the others.

"Even so, I believe your sentiment of guilt. And yes, I know you had no bad intentions when you left. This doesn't change how I feel about you all, and I will still call you friends and brothers whole-heartedly. I forgive you. All of you."

Folsom and the others deflated in relief. I could have sworn I saw Logan wipe a runaway tear, though I would never tell my suspicions to his face.

Around us, the men hummed their approval. I even felt a few hands touch my shoulder and back, accompanied by soft comments like a wise attitude and you're a noble woman, Constance.

Mr. Gates stepped forward to address us all one more time. "If no one else has anything to add?"

No one professed themselves.

"Then let us go to votes. All those in favor of letting the defendants remain with us?" Several hands shot up. Most of them, from what I could tell. They included Billy, Flint, de Groot, Jean, Gates and my own.

My shoulders slumped and my heart was at peace. They were staying. "All those against?" Hardly a dozen hands went up.

"That settles it then." Mr. Gates clapped. "Gentlemen, you may stay with us for a while longer." There was a tentative applause for the close call. But, it became apparent I wasn't the only wronged party here, after all. A betrayal of your crew, no matter how slight, was a serious offense. They were going to have to work hard to make up for this incident.

"Now, as for punishment," Mr. Gates proclaimed once the clapping stopped. "The captain, the boatswain and I spoke on this matter and have reached a consensus: for abandoning your stations and putting your companion in peril from your negligence, you will be working double shift cleaning the hull and you will be scrubbing the decks while we're at sea for the next three months."

The group groaned and grimaced (Muldoon buried his face in his hands in despair), but no one dared contesting. They knew they deserved worse, so this, they would endure. "With that said, I declare this trial officially concluded. Thank you all for your participation. Now, how about some roast pork on the spit for supper, to end the day on a high note?"

We all whooped in agreement, energized by the thought of some food and rum. But, while the others dispersed, I stayed where I was.

My regretful friends slumped forward . Truth be told, after Mr. Folsom's speech, plus the thought of their imminent expulsion, my anger had somewhat cooled down. I was ready to put this whole ordeal behind us. Muldoon was the first to speak, eyes as watery as a puppy's. "Are you all right?"

"I am," I muttered. "Billy got to me before I could fall. I wasn't hurt." "We're really sorry, Constance." Logan rubbed a hand down his neck, incapable of meeting my gaze. "We never meant to put you in harm's way, honest." "I know, Logan." I offered him a compassionate frown. "Sorry you won't get to see Charlotte much." He shrugged with an unconcerned grin. "She'll still be there waiting for me when we're done. It's fine." "Besides, we were asking for it, weren't we?" Muldoon added, to which the rest agreed. "And Constance? Thanks for vouching for us. We owe you a lot for this." "Damn right, you do. But for now..." I smirked and punched his arm. Hard. "Let's get some booze and dinner. I'm starving." They bellowed in agreement, though Muldoon was massaging the spot where I'd hit him. I did say I would get him one day, didn't I?

As a unit, we marched up the dark beach towards the fire pit where our food would cook. One day, I would collect this favor, with interests. But not tonight. Not tonight.

[meraki-yao]

I wanted to get your point of view on an issue. I've just been reading you, but your answers are always precise and intelligent, so I'll proceed! I'm not someone who likes to compare different works, or who gets stuck in one thing while denying the rest or what a biased part... but let's face it: the TIOY will probably only be saved due to Nicholas' singing performances. The plot is really obvious and banal (and I won't go into comparisons with Harry Styles because it's a real minefield) and honestly I haven't even seen this incredible chemistry with Anne (which was missing from the RWRB trailer immediately outside). I'll get to the point: I noticed that the two times Nicholas talked about the

project (the last one just the other evening) he seemed not totally at ease, contracted, not enthusiastic in short. The narrative of calling on his co-star Annie to show off the chemistry (I remember he didn't answer the famous question promptly, but said "I should probably say her") is obviously a PR move so I expect them to try to make pass it all off as something it isn't. So I think he is aware of the mediocrity of the product. I also found him cold for M&G but in that case it was clear that the matter had involved him anyway. I won't say anything about rwrb because his eyes speak for themselves. What do you think of all this? Thanks for the reply ❤️

Firstly thank you for the compliment, that's very kind of you 💕

I don't think it would be fair to judge TIOY so soon since the trailer's barely been out for a week, but I will say my own opinion on the project first:

I haven't read the book, frankly I don't have access to it, but while I don't hold any really negative thoughts regarding the premise, it isn't ... that exciting to me? Like it sounds fun, but I've read a fair amount of fics across fandoms with the same/similar premise. Plus from my Chinese celebrity experience, it kind of feels like it's feeding into the "dreamgirl" mindset which I feel iffy about

I also don't see the "incredibly chemistry"with Anne, it's better than what I saw in Cinderella with Camila (that was really freaking felt like besties) and it's there, but it's not what I felt with rwrb (then again I'm not sure how objective I am) but then again, we only have the trailer, so we'll have to wait and see to make a fair judgement

I actually got an ask about Nick answering the chemistry question that I haven't gotten around answering (I've gotten a lot, and I mean a lot of asks these couple of days and I'm also a full time student 😅) so I'll probably answer this point in more detail in that ask, but basically while I don't know it's a complete lie and he did have some genuine connection with Anne, it might be slightly exaggerated because of promo/PR reasons.

Forgive me, but I don't really look too much into how they talk about their work unless it's blatantly obvious, so I won't comment on what you said about him being tenser.

As for M&G:

I don't think Nick's acting cold when it comes to M&G, but also please keep in mind that M&G is something VASTLY different to any of his previous projects.

I actually have thoughts on what M&G means to Nick: it was a really, really hard job, arguably his hardest to date, but he's happy with what came out and has a sense of satisfaction from the work done: Nick often describes the process of shooting M&G as "gruelling", and he got hurt a lot, A LOT on that set. Also a lot was demanded from him in that role: (mild spoilers for M&G till *) a complex character who's recognizable from who he was in the first episode, sleeping with a lot of people, fencing, dancing, speaking French, horse riding, falling off a horse and deliberately running into a tree, filming in a flaming forest, etc. It was a lot, and a job like this doesn't come with entirely happy memories. Like I do believe the cast and crew were great, and Nick made really good friends, but just what entailed definitely took a lot out of him. So I think he's happy with the final product, but if you have him summarize the project, I think he'd say something along "learned a lot", "fulfilling" rather than something like "a joy", what he used for rwrb. So Nick might have a little more complicated feelings towards M&G, but I really don't think it's entirely negative.

But rwrb is something entirely different. It arguably gained the most traction and caused one of the biggest positive changes in his career, and there's also a bunch of personal, private connections and emotions there that we don't know about. So while M&G is a roller coaster, RWRB is a mostly happy experience.

Althought disclaimer, all of the above if my observation from what Nick has said, posted or done, and my own understanding of it. I do not or cannot actually speak for Nick.

I hope this helps? I think I might have gone off a tangent (I'm answering this while taking notes in a law lecture, fuck yeah multitasking 😅) so let me know if I missed something

[zarinahook]

Sorry it took me a little while to respond, but I wanted to make sure my ideas were clearly expressed.

I originally wrote this as a response to@pinkytoothlesso11's message, but it ended up being way too long—so I figured it’d be easier to just reblog it instead. Also, thank you all for taking the time to read and engage with my theory. I really appreciated hearing your thoughts and reading the different perspectives you shared. It means a lot, and @averagechickenenjoyer made me want to check out those fanfics I hadn’t heard of before!

Oh and one last thing before we begin…

Don't worry@theslayerbrother I didn't take anything personally and I know Claire didn’t get the spotlight she deserves in my theory but it won’t get any better further down in my post😅—promise it’s nothing personal, I love her too! 😄

So @pinkytoothlesso11 I agree with what you said about the danger of letting problems pile up and ending up having to face all the enemies at once—that would indeed be far too dangerous.

However, there’s one point I don’t completely agree on: it’s about Claire and Not-Enrique. If we assume that Jim lets Not-Enrique take Enrique’s place when he could have prevented the kidnapping, yes, that would preserve a central character for the story’s development… but it could also create several problems.

To me, there are a few possible scenarios that could follow Jim choosing not to intervene in Enrique’s kidnapping, allowing Not-Enrique to replace him. But in that case, something major changes from the original story—Jim is going to feel guilty. And I think that guilt would eat away at him. I just can’t see him coping with the idea that his girlfriend’s little brother was once again sent to the Darklands, especially when this time, he could have stopped it.

And in this timeline—does Claire know her brother is a changeling? If yes, then she knows he’s been taken and replaced. That leads to two possibilities:

Either Jim hides the truth from her and lives with that burden on his conscience, which would be really damaging to their relationship.

Or, overcome with guilt, he ends up telling her the truth—that he knew and did nothing. And at that point… could their relationship really survive? Could Claire ever forgive him?

As for Claire’s involvement in the troll world, I’m torn. Sure, Jim could tell her about the troll world once they start dating. But in this timeline, Jim is no longer the Trollhunter, so Claire isn’t automatically connected to Trollmarket anymore. She was accepted there because she was Jim’s girlfriend and because she spoke Trollish.

Now, if Not-Enrique is still her brother, maybe she learns Trollish anyway… but if not, she probably doesn’t study it, and as a result, wouldn’t earn Vendel’s favor. And let’s not forget—it’s Toby who’s the Trollhunter now. And at the beginning of Jim and Claire’s relationship, Toby was feeling kind of left out. He saw Claire as a rival in his friendship with Jim.

Would he really want to bring her into Trollmarket—the one place where he can exist without feeling like he’s competing with her?

That said, yes—Claire could still be involved in troll matters without going to the market. But I think her role would likely be smaller than in the original timeline.

And above all, she wouldn’t have the Shadow Staff. Even if, as you mentioned, Angor Rot returns thanks to the Arcane Order, he returns alongside Morgana. And Claire wouldn’t be strong enough to wield the staff without already knowing magic. Morgana is way too powerful for that.

You also brought up a point that really made me think: you said I’m assuming things will play out more or less the same as in the original timeline, aside from a few key differences. And you’re right—that’s exactly how I built my reasoning.

That’s probably what’s causing the problem in my conclusion, because it leads me right back to the same place as the original timeline—and so, very likely, to the same ending. Maybe with different deaths, but ones I can’t predict.

In the end, the only real change in my reasoning is that Jim knows what’s coming and can try to prepare for it.

But in that case… why change the Trollhunter?

Jim is already ready. He already has the experience. Toby, on the other hand, has to learn everything from scratch. That’s a major loss of precious time—especially in such a dangerous context.

So why did Jim choose Toby? It wasn’t random—it was a deliberate choice.

And what if the whole point was to let the events unfold differently—to have Toby’s choices shape the future, instead of Jim’s, which led to a tragic ending?

Maybe everything now depends on Toby’s decisions—choices we don’t know yet, but that could change everything.

What if...

Just a heads-up, this is going to be a pretty long post... sorry 😅

Spoiler alert! If you haven’t seen Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans or the full Tales of Arcadia series and you don’t want to be spoiled, do not read any further. This post will reveal the ending of the movie as well as many major events from the series—it would be a shame to have the story spoiled this way. Like finding out that Santa Claus makes an appearance in the film 😯 (Just kidding! But that was your final warning—happy reading and/or go discover this amazing universe 😊)

So, I watched Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans. To be honest, I really liked the movie. The story is solid, the stakes are high, and the character development is well handled. However, the many character deaths throughout the film really shook me. Before finishing the movie, I thought Strickler’s death—right after we learn about his engagement to Barbara—was the most heartbreaking moment. Especially since I’ve been attached to that character ever since the first episode of season one. But when I saw Toby die, I was truly devastated. I never imagined the writers would kill off such a joyful, kind, and young character.

And then came the time travel. When the film ended with Toby being chosen by the amulet, I wasn’t sure how to feel. Honestly, my first thought was, “Steve lost his kids and went back to being a bully—how depressing!” I reacted the way I usually do when I get upset about part of a story—I go through all the stages of grief. I cry during the scene, I get angry at the writers, I pretend it’s not canon, and sometimes... I reach acceptance. For example, someone spoiled the ending of How to Train Your Dragon 3 for me, and out of a mix of denial and anger, I still refuse to watch the movie to this day.

Back to Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans—for a long time, I decided the movie didn’t exist. Then, for no real reason, I decided to give it another chance. When I watched the ending again, I started thinking: Was Jimmy’s choice really the right one? What changes will it cause? Will Steve and Aja become parents again? (Half-joking, but I was seriously frustrated that Steve got reset to square one in his character development.) So I thought a lot about it, and I decided to go through each character one by one to see how they’d be affected. I’m going to highlight the events that will change now that Toby is the Trollhunter, the ones that will likely still happen, and ultimately determine whether Jimmy made the right decision or not.

So, without further delay, let’s begin with the hero of the series: Jimmy Lake Jr.

Jimmy 

Jimmy is no longer the Trollhunter, but he still remembers everything. He knows the entire story—everything that’s going to happen. This means he can step in to alter certain events and has a completely different perspective on things. He’s also more mature now and has gained greater self-confidence.

I’d like to explore more how he could anticipate events alongside the other characters. That knowledge gives him an advantage, but it could also become a burden.

In fact, I think Jimmy might experience more stress. He watched Toby die right before his eyes, and now all the Gum-Gum are after him. His life is far more dangerous than before. I wouldn’t be surprised if certain missions became more difficult simply because Jimmy refuses to let his friend face danger without being able to help.

Toby 

Toby is now the Trollhunter. You could say his training is going to be tougher, but we can already see at the end of Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans that he’s stronger than he was at the beginning of the series—he manages to climb all the way to the top of the rope, something he couldn’t do before.

There are also several events that are likely to play out differently, simply because Toby doesn’t have the same personality as Jim. But I’ll come back to that a bit later.

I’m deliberately skipping over Claire for now, because I need to explain a few other things first in order to understand how this will affect her character development.

Strickler

There’s a lot to say about this character, and all of it is important. First of all, Strickler is once again Bular’s right-hand man, but he doesn’t know who the Trollhunter is. In fact, when he discovers it in the original timeline, it’s by setting up a meeting with Jim in his office—and we see at the end of the film that this event still happens.

This is a key detail, because it means Bular doesn’t know who the Trollhunter is either. He’ll obviously find out eventually, but it’ll take longer. At this point in the story, Strickler doesn’t realize the Trollhunter is human, and he’s still focused on getting revenge against trollkind. He’s also still a loyal member of the Janus Order.

However, we shouldn’t forget that in this new timeline, Strickler has been with Barbara from the very beginning—and their relationship is far healthier than in the original series. He’s no longer dating her to gain leverage over the Trollhunter, but because he genuinely has feelings for her. Jim accepts their relationship now, which is another major change—he becomes a source of support for Strickler. This could lead to them growing closer, with Jim even becoming an emotional anchor for him.

Moreover, Strickler and Barbara are likely to become much more involved. We could even imagine them moving in together. This would add a whole new dynamic to the relationship between Jim and Strickler. While Strickler already had a certain fondness for his young “Atlas” in the original timeline, here he would truly become a father figure. His need to protect his new family would likely take precedence over his loyalty to the Janus Order.

And this change in mindset would bring about one of the most significant shifts in the story:

Strickler would not release Angor Rot. Why would he? Angor Rot is extremely dangerous, and Strickler wouldn’t risk unleashing a bloodthirsty assassin now that Bular is dead and his family is finally safe. With all these changes, I really don’t think he would still be interested in changeling superiority or the Janus Order’s goals.

Finally, we might even get to see Strickler and Barbara’s wedding—and maybe even the birth of a little “Stricklacke”!

Enrique

Jim knows the whole story—including the exact day Enrique is supposed to be kidnapped by the goblins. This means he can stop it from happening, and Enrique will stay with his family.

Not-Enrique

Since Enrique is never kidnapped, Not-Enrique will remain in the Darklands. He won't come to the human world, which means he won't form the sibling-like bond with Claire that developed in the original timeline.

And now, I can finally come back to Claire.

Claire

Claire and Jim will get back together, since their relationship was never actually tied to Jim being the Trollhunter. However, this time, she won’t be the girlfriend of the Trollhunter—just of Jim. That means she won’t be involved in the troll world, which is very closed off from the human world.

In addition, Claire will never receive Morgana’s staff, since Angor Rot was never freed.

Lastly, the relationship between Claire’s parents and Jim will be much healthier. Without Not-Enrique living with Claire, their house will never be trashed or attacked.

Barbara

Barbara’s relationship with Strickler is deeper and healthier in this timeline. Strickler will never try to kill Jim. He’ll never disappear. The relationship between Barbara and Jim will also improve, as there will be far fewer lies between them. She won’t be enchanted by Strickler, and therefore won’t have to break a spell or suffer memory loss. And since Angor Rot was never released, she also won’t be injured or put in danger by the spell in the first place.

Blinky

Blinky is a bit more complicated. He’s no longer Jim’s mentor—he’s now Toby’s. However, I don’t think Blinky will develop as strong a bond with Toby, simply because Toby’s personality is different from Jim’s. Jim, on the other hand, still sees Blinky as a mentor and father figure. He’ll continue to turn to him for advice, share his doubts, and stay close to him—much like how Toby is very close to AAARRRGGHH!!!

That said, I don’t think their bond will grow strong enough for Blinky to gift him a Vespa for his birthday.

Aaaaaargh!!! 

The relationship between Aaargh and all the characters remains unchanged. The fact that Toby is now the Trollhunter doesn't affect Aaargh’s personality or bonds.

However, there’s one major detail that impacts Aaargh's character: Angor Rot is never freed. That means Aaargh doesn't die, there’s no deal made with the Janus Order, and Vendel keeps his staff. Aaargh also never travels between the land of the dead and the living, meaning he can’t serve as a vessel for Kanjigar’s spirit—if that was even necessary later on.

Vendel

Not much changes in Vendel’s storyline, apart from one major and wonderful thing: he doesn’t die. Since Jim knows that Queen Usurna is a traitor and planning to kill Vendel, he’ll be able to prevent it. As a result, Blinky never becomes the new leader of Trollmarket.

Steve Labrute 

After some thought, I realized Steve’s story wouldn’t change either. It’s not tied to Jim being the Trollhunter. He still catches a goblin, befriends Eli, meets Aja, and has kids. Even if Aja doesn’t return to Earth to fight the Titans, I doubt she’d never come back to see her little brother and Steve. So the infamous fifth kiss accident would still happen.

We just have to wait for him to become a bit less annoying first.

Elie Pepperjack

Same thing with Eli—his story stays the same. It’s not linked to Jim being the Trollhunter.

Chomsky 

Chompsky’s storyline remains mostly unchanged, except that he won’t go to the Darklands, since Enrique never gets kidnapped. So he won’t be injured and stays with Toby.

Bular

For Bular, not much changes either—except he might die earlier. Jim knows his entire plan and Bular doesn’t know who the new Trollhunter is, so Toby will have more time to prepare.

Gunmar

Since Claire’s little brother is never kidnapped, they won’t need to go to the Darklands to rescue him. However, Jim promised to save all the babies in the Darklands, and he knows Not-Enrique is trapped there too. Even if he doesn’t know him personally, I doubt Jim would ignore someone in need.

But since Jim is no longer the Trollhunter, his opinion doesn’t carry the same weight. Will he be able to convince enough trolls to join a rescue mission? That’s tough to predict, but essential to know whether Gunmar escapes or not. Because even if the mission happens, different people and strategies could affect the outcome.

For the sake of this theory, I’ll assume Jim fails to convince the trolls to go. As heartbreaking as it is for Not-Enrique, it seems the most logical.

Nomura 

Since the Battle of the Bridge of Agonir plays out the same, Nomura will still be imprisoned in the Darklands and won’t be rescued by Jim.

Merlin 

Since Gunmar is never freed, there’s no reason to awaken Merlin. He stays in his tomb, and Jim never becomes half-troll.

Draal 

I can’t imagine Toby challenging Draal—it’s just not his style. So Draal won’t be banished from Trollmarket or end up living with Jim (or Toby), meaning he won’t bond with the new Trollhunter. That said, he won’t sit out the Battle of Agonir either. I imagine Draal earning redemption there, and losing his arm in the fight, as before.

Since Gunmar and Angor Rot are never freed, Draal won’t be possessed or killed.

Morgan

If Gunmar isn’t freed, then neither is Morgana. The Battle of Eternal Night won’t happen. Trollmarket stays intact, and everyone remains in Arcadia.

Reine Usurna

She’s trickier. As a queen, she still has a whole people behind her. But without Gunmar, she’s far less dangerous. She may still be an antagonist, but without an army, she’s not as much of a threat.

Dictatious

Dictatious remains in the Darklands. Blinky never learns his brother is alive or working for Gunmar, so he never burns his library.

Krel et Aja  

Their story remains unchanged, since it’s unrelated to Jim’s role. However, Jim and Claire will be present this time around since the Battle of Eternal Night doesn’t happen. The rest of their plot continues as usual.

Mage contre sorcier

First off, Jim, Claire, and the entire Trollmarket stay in Arcadia, so all the adventures they had while Toby and Aaargh were away won’t happen. Jim doesn’t get injured or put into magical sleep.

Since Merlin was never awakened, there’s no time travel. However, Camelot still exists, as does the Green Knight (a.k.a. King Arthur). The fight against the Arcane Order will still happen, but this time, Jim already knows about them and can prepare—especially from his very first meeting with Douxie.

Douxie will probably insist on waking up Merlin, as their bond is more like father and son, in my opinion. With the threat posed by the Arcane Order, I think Merlin will be awakened.

And now… I find myself at a dead end. Almost every character is back, and we’re once again facing the same terrifying enemy. The Arcane Order is just as powerful.

From this point on, it’s impossible to predict what happens. Will Toby and Strickler survive? It’s uncertain. And maybe if they don’t die, someone else will.

Honestly, after finishing this alternate timeline where Toby becomes the Trollhunter, I personally believe Jim’s decision wasn’t the right one.

A better solution might have been to go back in time and stop the Arcane Order before they gained power. But I’m not even sure that would have worked.

In the end, I’ve put a lot of thought into this theory, only to arrive at a frustrating conclusion. I still can’t find a way for the Arcane Order to be defeated and give everyone a happy ending.

Let’s not forget: in this timeline, not only is the Arcane Order still alive and dangerous, but Not-Enrique and Nomura are rotting in the Darklands.

So no, Jim. This really wasn’t a good idea.

Despite my best efforts to give this movie a second chance… I’m going to keep pretending it never happened.

If you’ve made it all the way here with me—thank you so much for sticking around. I’d genuinely love to know your thoughts. Do you see things the same way, or imagine a different outcome?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

[geographicanatomy]

Day 3b: Paris - Stuttgart - Vienna

Second day of travel:

First Train

Operator/Train: SNCF, TGV 9579 inOui

Origin: Paris

Destination: Stuttgart

Duration: 3h 10min (estimated)

Distance: ~500 km

Stops / Changes: 5 stops

Seat Reservation: Yes, required.

I managed to use my first class pass again, which was great because otherwise I feel like I would have wasted those extra £80.

What can one say about TGV? Fast, comfortable, not too noisy, lights not to bright, spacious… Honestly was there only 3h and a half-ish and it was so comfy that I felt myself falling sleep towards the last hour of the journey, but with an overnight train next, I stopped myself. In hindsight, I could have done with an hour of comfortable sleep.

Connection: 39 minutes connection in Stuttgart Hbf. I trusted the French and German operators, because if this was UK there’s not way in hell I would chanced a connection with less than an hour margin.

At the end the TGV arrived 20 minutes late, which still left me plenty of time. And in any case, the second train was 30 minutes delayed on its departure so, even more time stuck in Stuttgart station where everything was already closed. Joy!

Second Train

Operator/Train: IC 461

Origin: Stuttgart Hbf

Destination: Wien Hbf

Duration: 8h 22min (estimated)

Distance: ~534 km (notice the difference in time for about the same distance?)

Stops / Changes: 20 stops (that’s an average of around 2.5 stops every hour and I felt the pain of each and every one of them 😤

Seat Reservation: Recommended but not mandatory. I did get mine but apparently it didn’t show on their system because my seat wasn’t marked as reserved. It’s not like it mattered, the train went mostly empty at the start until Munich. There started filling up but still ok to have 2 seats for each person (at least in the 1st class carriage!). It only got busy in the last hour, I believe because the locals use it as a regular commute train for early shifts.

This was the first sleeper of the journey and I had no idea what type of seat I ended booking because there were no options. I was hoping that even if the seats were chair-like rather than bunks, that they would still be comfy like the TGVs (or the ones I’ve seen in the Caledonian Sleeper or in the Canadian when we did the section between Vancouver and Jasper). I had a first class booking so for an 8h and half journey that runs overnight I was expecting… Well, more than what I got 😅

When I first saw the train I thought it looked like a Renfe Cercania (that’s Spanish short distance trains). Ok perhaps slightly better, like the Scotrail Edinburgh to Glasgow but with two decks. The only noticeable difference between first class and regular carriages was that there were less seats by carriages, the were ever-so-lightly larger and the tables were more spacious, but that’s it. Not even reclinable seats!

If that was all, I think I would have been ok. But the worst part for me was the fact that the light were super bright and constantly on, and that due to having so many stops and those being announced by the cheerful attendant, you pretty much woke up every 30/40 minutes.

So not the best train journey by far, and I should have probably gave up on trying to sleep but I was stubborn and I managed to bag some intermittent slumber for a few hours.

I made it to Vienna (Wien) on time, and that what really matters, And yes, I was pretty knackered after trying to get some sleep curled over myself in a kind of 4-shape , but after a couple of hours resting in the hostel, I felt refreshed enough to go out and make the most of my first time in Wien!

[sitp-recs]

Hi, please help, I beg!

I just had to rage quit a fic with Draco pining over Harry and going "oh, he doesnt want me, of course", "why would he ever return my feelings", "i should tell him but that will ruin our friendship for sureeee", etc....for 30 chapters (at least! 60 more till the end😅) My fault, of course, I should have quit ages ago. Anyway, can you recommend Draco that knows his worth, knows he's a catch, knows he's hot and smart and most importantly knows that Harry knows all those things too and can see perfectly well that Harry WANTS him back.

Hi anon! I see you have strong feelings about Draco 😂💜 you’re a champion for reading 30 chapters of slow burn, my body literally cannot take it. Personally I adore a quirky, proud Draco but I also think it makes sense to see him a bit wrong-footed and insecure when he’s around Harry, considering his/their past. In any case here’s some sexy and confident Draco for you, I hope you enjoy!

push and pull you down by M0stlyVoid (E, 5k)

Harry's resigned himself to petty, inconsequential cases and no real connection to his job at the Auror department—after all, what else would he be doing with his time? He's not happy, not really, but that hardly matters.

I'm lying when I'm looking away by InnerLilith (E, 7k)

Sometimes it takes a Purim party and a flapper dress for Harry to figure out what he likes. (Spoiler: He likes Malfoy.)

check this hand 'cause I'm marvelous by @lqtraintracks (E, 8k)

Harry's had a crush on Malfoy for months now. But it will take a bar full of his friends, some Firewhisky, wagers made on his behalf, and Malfoy himself to get him to act on it.

Sex on Legs in Six-Inch Heels by Tessa Crowley (E, 9.6k)

Draco Malfoy is a brilliant freelance cursebreaker and the only one who can help the Department of Magical Law Enforcement with a very dangerous case, but more importantly, he's wearing six-inch heels, and Harry cannot handle it, he really just can't.

On Target by @the-sinking-ship (E, 13k)

A charity dunk tank, some sorry excuses for friends, a Slytherin with freakishly good aim, a (mostly) empty locker room, and one very small towel. Because, apparently, everyone is dying to get Harry Potter wet.

An Act of Kindness for One Harry Potter by a Sympathetic Draco Malfoy by 0idontknow0 (E, 15k)

As Draco leaned on the wall to wait for them to get dressed, he could not help feeling like he had done a very kind thing by disrupting them. Someone should give Potter a better rogering than that sorry sod had.

White as Snow by bixgirl1 (E, 19k)

After a quick escape from danger, Harry and Draco find themselves trapped in a blizzard, a small cabin their only refuge from the storm. It's the perfect place to recover and regroup — and to have a long-overdue conversation or two.

Take These Lies by @pennygalleon (E, 20k)

There’s a portrait of his godfather in Draco Malfoy’s potions shop and Harry needs to know why.

Trouble, My Old Friend by Tepre (E, 21k)

Harry goes rogue investigating an illegal potion and ends up at Draco Malfoy's dodgy lab.

We Might Be Too Old for a Bildungsroman by calrissian18 (T, 21k)

Harry finds something he’s been looking for since the war’s end. Admittedly, the packaging’s a bit odder than he expected.

I Bet That You Look Good on the Dancefloor by birdsofshore (E, 29k)

God, he wanted this – wanted it so much he could taste it, a metallic tang of heat and desire. He suspected nothing would ever be the same again – especially when he saw who else was in the room.

Potential Gravity by zeitgeistic (E, 32k)

Draco is not good at Cards Against Humanity, but Harry’s not good at being human, so it all works out. Except for the explosions. And Harry’s inability to live when Draco’s not around.

Here's The Pencil, Make It Work by ignatiustrout (M, 49k)

Harry thinks "Why is Malfoy working in a coffee shop in muggle London?" is a much simpler question than, "Are you going to accept that auror offer and, if you don't, what will you do?"

The Beauty of Thestrals and Other Unseen Things by @writcraft (E, 63k)

Harry has terrific friends, an amazing girlfriend and his job as Head Auror enables him to work on challenging cases and Ministry reform. He just wishes he could work out why he’s been so out of sorts.

Can't Sit Still by wilteddaisy (E, 193k)

Five years after the war, Harry finds himself drawn to Draco Malfoy by memories that aren't his own.

[fandom-18]

Hi! :) How are you? I saw your request post so.. Do you think you could do Julian and Lucio x reader for the Arcana? Headcanons or a short fic idc. I can't think of anything specific for the request so you can just do whatever ig. If you could do it just gender neutral reader that would be great! Thank you in advance! :::)))

Request #2: Oh! Also.. to add to my last ask(sorry) romantic and fluff(maaaybe a little bit of angst......). Pls and thank you. (Just in case you needed a bit more specifications :))

Thank you for specifying, it made writing a little easier. And don't worry, it's ok)

With an s/o who's an Arcana

Type: romantic

Includes: gn reader, fluff, angst

Warnings: some angst, mentions death, mentions and describe traumatic experiences from the past, calling someone an idiot

Julian

Honestly, it doesn't matter to him a lot. You can be any species possible, even a centaur for all he cares. It doesn't change your personality, which was the biggest reason he started falling for you

Although Julian has many questions. Do you have an animal form? Does your body function in a different way? What do you represent? Mainly questions are connected to your health and body. He is a doctor after all, even though sometimes I doubt he's ever been to a medical school.

If you have an animal form, please show him. Especially if you're fluffy. He'll be amazed either way, but will be more likely to cuddle you.

After you two date for a while, he starts thinking. You're immortal and he isn't. What will happen when he dies? Even if he becomes immortal like you, what will happen to Portia and Mazelinka?

He will need reassurance. Doubts start plaguing his mind, and he needs you to help him with it. Even if he doesn't want to admit it.

Lucio

Before his trope

It makes his ego bigger than it already was. I mean, dating a powerful being who probably can destroy him with just one move but doesn't (always) want to?

One of the first questions he asks is if you can make him as powerful as yourself. And definitely pouts if/when you refuse.

He loves showing you off, for example at parties or when he's angry

After his trope

Hey, you idiot! My partner will kick your ass!!! - Lucio, too many times

Later on, he starts to realise you'll live longer than him. But he calms himself a bit by reassuring himself that you love him. And when you love someone, you'll make them immortal and, as a bonus, (almost) as powerful like yourself... right?

Well, this is awkward.

He probably found out when the Great Priestess or someone else referred to you as a fellow Arcana.

At first, he avoids you. He encountered the Devil and he really damaged the image he had about you and your colleagues. Sure, you're still seen as powerful, but terrifying at the same time.

After some time, he stops avoiding you, but still is a little scared. He will need time before he stops flinching from your touch. But when he finally feels better, he'll be as amazed as a child in a huge candy store.

Notes: Well, voilà! Hope you like it) I tried to make a mix of fluff and angst, and this scenario seemed great for it.

Honestly, I didn't expect myself to answer two requests in one day😅

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

What are your thoughts on the ''namjoon's bf'' topic going around now with all the pics on ig and from before? Cause if joon is happily dating this person, I am so so happy for him but people always say not to take shipping to far and turn it into believing yet most people i saw talking about this genuinely think joon has a secret bf and keep talking about it and showing ''proof'' and it feels a bit iffy. Why is it okay when it's not 2 members of the group to ''believe'' and ''prove''?

My take on it is more or less the same as my take on shipping in general: don't overstep your boundaries. But in this case the boundaries are even more important to remember, especially if:

a) that really were his boyfriend, and

b) because it's a non-celebrity person.

Do I believe there is a real chance this could be a mysterious boyfriend? No. And I'm not saying that because I'm a namjinists but because Namjoon is an incredibly intelligent person who's been in this business for more than a decade and he knows how far he can go and what he can and can't show us. Much like they don't show us their families, except for the rare instance where Namjoon showed us selces he took with his mom years ago, or the time where JKs brother used to interact with us, I also don't think that if any of them were to have a partner outside of Bangtan (or in the case of the maknaes, even one within Bangtan), none of them would show that to us.

Not because he'd fear backlash on a more vile homophobic level (though I don't doubt that's part of it on more levels than just fan reaction), but rather because it just wouldn't be safe. It's been years since the tattoo artist incident and there are still people snooping around that girls life and trying to find some kind of way to connect her to JK, so imagine what were to happen with an actual partner instead of a "suspected" one? And yes, I know it likely wouldn't be as bad in Namjoon's case as it were if it were about one of the maknaes, but I doubt Namjoon would want to expose someone he loves to something like that.

Now, as for the jokes, here's the thing: at first it was funny, even I sometimes joked about it with Admin 2, but the joke has run its course and now it's slowly switching into, as you said, some people genuinely believing it and trying to prove it or something, which is plain weird, disrespectful and also very creepy. Also, the jokes themselves remind me of the Namjoon, his wife and their three kids jokes which have long stopped being funny as well. But when it comes to these kinds of things, ARMY have a tendency to be no jams. And that likely won't change.

At the end of the day, if some day in the future Namjoon were to tell us that people were right all along, I'd immediately congratulate him wholeheartedly, more love and power to him. But, as presented in my above reasoning, I doubt there's any merit to the jokes. It's far more likely that he's a friend, a staff member he's gotten friends with (like a manager or bodyguard, for instance), or even a family member. Whoever he is, I hope him, Namjoon and Namjoon's family (whom I assume are with them as well since I doubt they'd fly all the way to LA for the concert just to fly back the next day) are having a wonderful time.

From anon: Hello! talking about the members’ ig accounts…. do you think they’re honest about not knowing how to navigate them? 😅😅 for me it seems like they’re pretending and acting. overall, what do you think about it? why now?

I don’t see a reason for why we should doubt their words, or why we should question it. What does it matter anyway? And what would be the point of pretending? Sure there are reasons to believe with some of them that they’ve used IG in the past, but even if so, so what? Bangtan have been using twt since like 2011 (?) and yet when the update came where you had to go through the quote retwt option, they were clueless to the fact that they could click post without actually writing anything, so even if they’ve used IG before, that wouldn’t automatically mean they’d be pros at it. Most people I know have been using IG for a decade now and still struggle with their feeds and finding reason to post regularly. People would likely think they’ve never used IG before even if it isn’t true.

What do I think about them opening the accounts? I think it’s great. Especially with Namjoon it finally gave him the perfect platform to document his namjooning and to share it with us (to whichever extend he wants to). It came with great timing, seeing as they’re on break now, but if there’s some kind of grand ulterior motive it to the way some theorize there is, I don’t know and I don’t really care much either. Whatever it may be, I’m enjoying their pictures and cute interactions in the comments, the fact that Hobi diligently likes everyones pictures and tried to create a uniform style for his feed (even if he doesn’t seem entirely satisfied with it), how seemingly Yoongi and Jimin have just given up on the app (so far), that Tae can share his Vante photography, Seokjin sharing his meals with us (very socmed AU of him) and how JK has resorted to singing about his boredom in his IG stories. 

How about instead of wondering, questioning and theorizing, we simply enjoy their posts? They’re on official downtime, their first vacation over the holidays in so many years, and they still choose to share glimpses of it with us, how about we’ll be grateful for that instead of trying to find some kind of scheme behind their sincerity? 

[aerisosweet]

Hello again, Rosa! secret santa here - a little later than i actually wanted to answer, but oh well 😅

Oh, you know EXO since debut?! that's so cool!! compared to that i'm a baby exo-l, i joined the fun in 2018 🙊 but yeah.... gushing about chanyeol... i totally get the sentiment... *^*

i'm so glad i asked about the christmas thing tho! i hope it didn't come off as too nosey or insensitive or something. where i am from Christmas is a huge deal and even if you are not Christian it is hard to escape the whole spirit of the deason because it's just so closely connected with our regional traditions, and since a few years ago i sort of keep thinking about how this might feel for people who don't celebrate or celebrate some different holiday. that's why i was interested if that might be the case ^-^ anyway, giving New Year's Gifts sounds like such a nice tradition! It has a very meaningful ring to it, giving someone something to take with them into the new year. ✨

I have listened to Love So Sweet and it's such a cute song!! personally, i only can listen to such very poppy songs when i'm in the right mood for it, but i genuinely enjoyed listening to Love So Sweet 🥰

i like tons of different songs from many different genres and i'm so so bad a picking favorites, it changes every two hours, i feel xD but the one EXO song that i heard i knew i was sold is Overdose - such a bop!!

I also loved the Harry Potter books (i share your sentiment about the movies...) and i just continued loving fantasy novels (i think the most recent bigger series i read was everything belonging to the Grishaverse) and novels of any kind in general - i spend a lot of time reading ^-^ and for movies i like, it's quite the same actually (a recent favourite has to be Shang-Chi and the Legend of the 10 Rings). my taste is just all over the place, haha xD

It's still autumn, but let me ask about your favourite things in winter! Are there any typical wintery activities you enjoy? Are you more the sporty or the cozy type? I'm gathering a few nice themes for your present~ I can't wait to start working on it 😊😊

I hope you'll have a nice week coming up for you ♡

~ secret santa 💫

Hello, Secret Santa!

No worries, I understand rl can be busy, I just replied to my person as well, so 😅

Yes! I heard about them before they debuted because my rl friends were super SM fans. I thought they were too young (lol) at first and didn’t look into them but watched everything because of my friend! 2018 was such a good year too! I think, Suho has mentioned it doesn’t matter when you started liking EXO but we’re all fans so that’s what matters. I think we find EXO when we need them so 🥰

No, no, not nosy or insensitive at all! I mean, I did choose to participate in this exchange and it is Christmas-themed so I knew what I was getting into! But thank you for asking, that was very sweet of you. I do wonder how it is to celebrate it though when I see everything, so even though I don’t, it’s one of my favorite times of the year! What some traditions you have during the Christmas time?

Oh! Thank you for listening to it! It’s one of my favorites from my other group that I love. It was from one of the dramas a member was in, the Japanese version of Boys Over Flowers (season 2). But I’m glad you enjoyed it! Many people don’t like it as much because they ALWAYS perform it but I love it every single time haha

Overdose definitely was such a good song! Are there any EXO songs you don’t like? Or just would skip?

I just started reading the Percy Jackson series. I’m surprised I’ve never actually read it before because the first book got me hooked! I’m trying to read more (non-EXO fics haha) so I recently started going to our local library and I’m hoping it’ll get me back into reading. I absolutely loved Shang-Chi! I saw it a few weeks ago and loved it! I don’t really care for the Marvel Universe but really liked Shang-Chi. I can’t wait for it to be on Disney+ haha

My favorite things in the winter? Well, where I live, it doesn’t really get the winter feel unless you drive out. But I’m going to be visiting family that it would feel like that! I just like seeing the Christmas lights and hoping it snows. I know my parents want to go to the winter village so maybe when I visit them, we can! But I’m definitely more of a cozy type — I’m too clumsy to do anything sporty. How about you?

I look forward to whatever you make! How exciting!

I hope this week is wonderful!