#in a way where i try to establish a boundary and tell someone why something is such an issue im told it's actually me who's the problem

[fuckingkbitty]

.

[thetableshavetabled]

I saw a comment u made on another post about andrew drugging neil and I thought one thing u said was rlly interesting -

it was about Roland's and andrews relationship, I'm paraphrasing but I think u said something like Roland wouldn't get the 'yes or no' that Neil does because andrew 1) doesn't rlly care about Roland personally & 2) Andrew has no promise to protect Roland

I agree completely, but I've never seen anybody else say it! Andrew often gets portrayed by fans like he would always ask for consent this way, and I never rlly agreed. I don't think he would ignore Roland telling him to stop or anything, but I don't think he'd be considerate or careful like he is with neil.

If u have anymore thoughts on their relationship or andrew or roland in general, I'd love to hear it :)

Thanks for giving me an excuse to dig into this! To talk about Roland I first want to talk about the fandom's misconceptions of Andrew.

The way some fans try to retroactively frame Andrew's handling of Neil as a universal consent practice completely misses why it exists specifically with Neil. This comes up especially now that AFTG has reached platforms like TikTok, where I often see claims like "Andrew wouldn't have drugged people, he cares about consent" or the Allison incident or even, most insane to me, how Andrew shouldn't have kissed Neil that first time on the rooftop without asking first. These interpretations fundamentally misunderstand Andrew's character.

Frankly, I don't understand why you would bother to advcate that a character is acting out of character in the canon material. That just means you don't like the character, which is fine. "The monsters were never redeemed" (which was the original post where I left my comment) is much more textually accurate and a much better take than trying to sanitize Andrew's actions.

Understanding why Andrew and the other Monsters act as they do isn't the same as justifying their actions and people should be a lot more comfortabe enjoying morally gray characters, or, even better, just admit you don't like them. Fans do that with Kevin, Aaron and Nicky all the time, but with Andrew they struggle because they love this cute little gay ship with their soft kisses and touch him and die trope. The desire to ship Andreil seems to create this pressure to soften and force Andrew into a romance booktok mold when the real beauty of their relationship lies in how they accept each other's sharp edges and scars.

Take Andrew drugging Neil, for instance. We can understand the strategic reasoning (keeping Neil from running, maintaining control, protecting Kevin) while still recognizing it as a violation. The same goes for his violence toward Allison or his blowout at Katelyn or how he treats Aaron. Understanding that these actions stem from Andrew's trauma, his protection mechanisms, and his "nothing" philosophy doesn't require us to retroactively frame them as morally acceptable.

We are repeatedly shown that Andrew is not a character who cares about others' boundaries. From the moment we meet him and right until the end he shows this. Andrew is not a good person, and he is not mentally well. He's complex, traumatized, and his actions make sense within his characterization, even when, or maybe especially when they're morally questionable.

This brings us to Roland. With Roland, Andrew has a pragmatic arrangement that lets him focus on his own needs without managing someone else's trauma or emotions. Their dynamic works because:

Roland is experienced and emotionally self-sufficient.

Andrew doesn't have to manage his emotional state or trauma responses.

There's an established history that makes Roland a "safe" option.

Neil was always going to be different. The combination of Andrew's promise to protect him, Neil's extensive trauma history, and his complete inexperience with intimacy shattered every one of Andrew's patterns. Where others fit into clear categories - threat, asset, occasional outlet - Neil defied classification from the beginning. With Roland, it's pragmatic: they both know what they want and can handle themselves accordingly. With Neil's inexperience and extensive trauma and the deepness of the relationship it shakes up everything. If Roland had shown the kind of ambiguous consent that Neil does on the rooftop Andrew would never have pushed through or done anything but stop immediately, but he wouldn't have worked through it either. He would just simply not have approached Roland again.

It is less about "yes or no" even though i initally used that phrase and most about "I won't be like them. I won't let you let me be." It exists specifically because of Neil's circumstances and Andrew's promise to protect him. It's not a universal approach to consent, it's about their unique dynamic and mutual understanding of trauma.

This ties into a larger discussion of how Andrew sometimes gets "fanon-ized" in ways that smooth over his complexities and contradictions. He is not someone who is conventionally "good" or mentally well, but whose actions make sense within his own internal logic and experiences. The Andrew who shows careful consideration for Neil's boundaries, who gets in the shower fully clothed, who asks 'yes or no', is the same Andrew who drugged Neil, nearly stabbed Nicky, and almost killed Allison. Not to mention driving under the influence and, of course, literal manslaughter.

This is not to say Andrew doesn't evolve as a character, of course, but not in a conventional redemptive way. Without turning this into a full character analysis I will sum it up like this: Andrew's character arc is about him going from nothing to something.

[artsninspo]

FORGIVELESS - IV - YOU DON'T MIND SECOND FIDDLE, THAT'S WHY YOU A BITCH 🎻

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➨ rio's library - good girl nbc

「 ✦ full library & archive ✦ 」

IV - YOU DON'T MIND SECOND FIDDLE, THAT'S WHY YOU A BITCH 🎻

Pairing: Rio (Good Girls) X Reader

Word Count: ~2.4K

Warning: Messy, mature themes & 🌶️ implied, a bit of a domestic situation.

Summary: The rendezvous with Rio continue causing James to spiral. only women are better cheaters. Rio proposes something outside of his previous boundaries. Japan is revealed while you get to keep your secret about Rio a little longer.

Sitting in front of the mirror pleased with your makeup you go over excuses in your head. You’ve set up the perfect situation. You’ve overheard James whispering and arguing on the phone. Japan’s been blowing his line up. You already know your husband is suspicious of you but everyday you care a little less. Your own indiscretions with Rio let you know how much work it is to be dishonest. Chasing the highs of being a well off young professional has your husband thinking too much of himself and now he’s paying with his eroding marriage. It’s Rio who’s been consistent for a man who doesn’t think he's the relationship type. Looking yourself, you smile, feeling sexy. It’s become a familiar feeling again with Rio.  Heading downstairs you find James sitting on the couch which is a rarity for a Friday night. Usually he has some more important plans than spending time with you.

“Where are you going?” He asks.

“Friends bachelorette” you smile.

“Which friend?” he asks.

“Marlène from yoga, I was invited.” you tell him.

“Marlène” he says trying to register the name. “I can drive you there and pick you up” he offers.

“No need babe, I don’t drink” you remind him.

“How late?” he asks.

“Maybe 2 or 3 the latest” you tell him.

“Okay, maybe we should keep a calendar so we can keep up with each other's schedules. In case I want to surprise you” he suggests.

“Sure, I’ll see you in a bit” you smile waving.

“Hold up, we were invited to the wedding?” He asks standing as he makes his way over to you.

“I declined the invite. I know how busy you get.” You respond. 

“Next time, ask me first. I love you and I want to do what it takes to make you happy. I know it’s been hard since the move but I’m here and I’m in this and I miss you.” He says. All it took was some distance for him to shape up and pay attention.

“Ok” you nod pecking his lips and when he deepens the kiss, it's all wrong. The passion isn’t there, or if it is it doesn’t mix well with his lies and betrayal. You’re relieved when he pulls away. Your heart isn’t racing, there's no tingles or butterflies. Your heart settles a little knowing the sun has set on your marriage. You force a smile heading out to the car. Standing there James is struck with panic, sure now more than ever he’s losing you.

Heading out you meet a new group of friends at one of Rio’s clubs. It’s a bachelorette party. You remember yours. You’d been too young to be considered someone’s wife and so excited to do whatever James asked of you. It’s bittersweet memories. Had you known then what you know now you wouldn't have walked down the aisle. A cheater, a liar, a coward and your husband. Mentally you decide to file the next time you have some free time or at least get the papers. Once the liquor starts flowing between the girls you call Rio as planned. The thrill is still there, it’s how you're making it through this tough time. Reclaiming your agency as a woman. Rejecting the treatment you once settled for. Doing James just as bad. It’s dark when Rio rolls up to the back entrance of his establishment. It's only been fifteen minutes since you made the call, he gets out his G-Wagon matching it in all black. His hands go into the pockets of his black denim jacket as he waits against the passenger door. You dont waste any time heading to him. His smile is the same as always as his eyes look you over in appreciation. Rio never misses the details. Stepping aside he opens the door helping you into the truck. 

“You good?” He asks and you nod as he pulls off. 

“You?” You ask.

“Mhm” he nods. The silence is comfortable and Rio keeps a hand on your thigh possessively as he drives to his place. You notice he’s not here with you and somewhere else in his thoughts when he passes the exit to his place.

“Rio, you missed the exit” you tell him.

“I’m taking you to my place” he mutters looking over at you. You swallow feeling the new reality between you has changed. You're no longer on quicksand, you're in it. You don't respond feeling comfortable with the decision. You place your hand over his on your thigh.

“I gotta go out of town for a few days,” he says, breaking the silence.

“How long is a few days” you ask.

“Three, I was hoping you could come with me,” Rio says, shocking you. It’s what had been on his mind. If he left it would give James the opportunity to slither his way back into your good graces and probably lead to a reconciliation. Something Rio didn't want to even entertain the possibility of for his own selfish reasons, among the principal of things.

“Come with you?” you ask.

“That’s what I said, what I fuck you so good you cant hear now?” he remarks and you hit him playfully.

“Shut up” you laugh.

“You coming or what?” he asks and you look him over.

“Where are you heading?” you ask.

“Mexico for my cousin's wedding. I have a plus one” Rio says casually.

“I would love to but with all I have going on it’s not the right time” you sigh.

Rio’s nostrils flare in frustration “So what?”

You sigh, “Rio, leaving the country to be your date looks bad.”

“Fuck everyone who would question you after you say he stepped out” Rio snaps.

“Rio you’re being unreasonable” you respond.

“What about me gives off reasonable?” he responds and you smile. He’s right from day one he’s been a handful.

“Rio” you start.

“Tell him whatever he needs to hear, then bring your ass to Mexico with me.” he demands like it's not even a question.

“You want me held up in your room like a sex slave for a few days” You scoff.

“Shit the roleplaying might get you off” he shrugs still upset that you aren't jumping up and down like most women. Rio doesn't like having to compete for your time with the ego of a man that doesnt deserve you even a little.

“You’re being an ass” you smile, rolling your eyes at him playfully. He comes in for a kiss and your phone rings. You look at the caller ID and see it’s James. Rio sighs and you follow suit. You let it ring out but he calls again. After the third ring Rio turns on his sound system to mimic the club before hitting the answer.

“James?” You say.

“What time are you getting home? It's after one” he says.

“I don’t know I’m having fun” you lie.

“I’ll come meet you” he offers.

“No, go out with your friends. Don’t wait up.” You shout.

“No, I miss you and I want to make love to my wife tonight.” The thought alone is off putting. When your eyes re-open from the disgusted shudder you find Rio watching you pissed.

“Sorry I can’t hear you, I’ll see you in a bit. Bye!” You shout hanging up.

“You’re gonna have to tell him you know,” Rio says.

“I’m not ready to play pretend with my family or his. It’ll take time away from you and I'm having fun.” You explain knowing how it’ll work. Women were expected to be distraught, hurt or psychotic after infidelity from their husbands. Your callously orchestrated revenge will be vilified and used as justification for his indiscretions in the beginning. You’ll be burned at the stake for not lying down and taking disrespect.

“Think he’s shitting himself now? When he knows you know and sees you riding around with me, me taking you out treating you right. Then what?” Rio says onto your lips kissing you. The thought of James getting his just due is desert for the both of you. Your moans are audible as his lips kiss you down your neck. His hands hold you there firmly.

“Are you listening?” He asks.

“Yes” you nod.

“Good” his voice softens his dark eyes holding yours.

“He doesn’t get to touch you, doesn’t get to sleep beside you, doesn’t get to see you undressed, nothing. His time’s up mama.” His words are slow and deliberate. He’s placed his claim. His possession is all in his eyes. “Handle it, Love, or I will” he warns, incapable of sharing. You don’t even make it to the bathroom. Rio has his way with you on the couch talking you through it. He fights for control over what he’s feeling and channels all his jealousy and possessiveness into making you feel good enough to want him. Enough to forget about the feelings of a man that did not consider yours or upkeep his vows. You spend the night christening his home and the morning is everything you hoped morning’s with James would be like in this new city. Slow and full of comfortable silences based on quality time. Rio typically did not talk too much, not needing to but today was different. He wanted to put an end to Jame’s hold on you. To James being a two timing fuck waling around like he owns the world. He wanted James to pay for blowing up your life. By the time you leave Rio’s place it’s 9am. That’s how little fucks you have left to give. You don’t expect James to be waiting at the house when you arrive but he’s sitting in the living room fuming mad. His eyes go to your rings first. When they are located he calms down just a touch.

“Where the fuck have you been!” He snaps through gritted teeth, standing and closing the distance and sniffing you like a dog. It’s how you should treat him.

“Don’t talk to me like that!” You shout triggered.

“You’re not walking out of this house again to go anywhere without me. Matter of fact, give me your phone!” He snaps grabbing your purse from your arm. He finds your phone unlocking it with Face ID and going through it. Instead of fighting him you go for his phone on the island knowing you’re in the clear. You search to find the messages have degraded into arguing instead of steamy exchanges. The blue flame between James and his mistress has faded into contention with him trying to be more present in his marriage. It’s against everything the mistress wants to hear. Little miss Japan is pulling out the stops. Her revised attempts at luring your husband away from you flip a switch. You clear the counter throwing two vases at him in succession. He fails to duck away from the first one hitting him in the chest. The other douses him with water before shattering on the ground.

“I should’ve known you were cheating!” you scream, snapping him out of his rage. Fear flashes in his expression. “All the accusations! Neglect, no sex, it was all here” you snap holding up his phone. Tears well as you release the secret you’ve been keeping in for the past few weeks. You send the phone flying at him too. The device hits him in the chest and you snatch yours from him. “That’s how you’d let some women speak about me and talk to you. You dirty low down fuck!” You add feeling your hands and face heat from the rage.

“Baby” he panics “It was a mistake.”

“Don’t call me baby, matter of fact don't call me anything! Don’t call me!” You cry getting your keys and heading out. “Japan, Japan, Japan, whole time Japan is a fucking woman that you’re seeing!” you continue your tirade.

“Y/N!” He snaps. “I’m sorry. I can explain, listen to me.” His words mean nothing and you keep on heading to your car. He grabs you violently.

“I said I’m sorry!” he asserts with a mixture of anger and panic.

“You are and I’m done with you” you pull away but he grabs you. You try to free yourself but he’s too strong. You struggle against him as you and him exchange unheard feelings at a high volume. He wins the struggle.

“I said I’m sorry! I made a mistake but I love you!” He shouts, shaking you and your heart races as you see all the threads you’ve been picking at are loose. You want to stick the nail in the coffin but you don't. Instead you look at him with all the hate you feel for the predicament his actions have created. 

“I hate you and you’ll regret it I promise” you snap, turning to face him as you open the garage. Fear turns from panic to rage again at your threat. He grabs your arm unlike ever before. “Get out my face and let me go. Go be where you’ve been with her.” you snap pushing him off. 

“Don’t walk away from me and don’t threaten me!” He snaps as you get to your car. Before you get in he grabs your hood, yanking you back.

“What’s going on here?” An officer interrupts. Just the way his eyes fall on you it’s clear he’s been sent by Rio. James steps back and you readjust your neckline.

“I’m trying to leave and he won’t let me” you speak frankly. You hear James gasp in shock at your betrayal.

.

“She’s my wife. Officer I just want to speak with her” James says. You look him over and see he’s all wet. It definitely looks like a domestic dispute.

“Do you want to speak with him?” the officer asks you.

“No” you respond and the officer opens your car door. You get in.

“Y/N!” James shouts.

“Keeping her here against her will with force is something I can charge you with” the officer informs your asshole soon to be ex-husband.

“It’s a marital disagreement,” James says, trying to turn on the charm. It doesn’t work on the officer who gives him a final glare before walking out with you. 

“Stay put” he snaps at James. “Are you alright?” he asks and you nod, adjusting your sweater and clothes. 

“Yes”

“Did he hit you?”

“No officer he didn’t” you confess honestly.

“Go see Rio” the cop whispers before closing the car door. You’re a little startled at how perceptive you are and pull out of the driveway to head to Rio’s place. You find him pissed and pacing. His eyes go to your stretched out collar but he keeps his thoughts to himself offering you comfort and a hug. He ignores his phone ringing and you ignore yours until James stops calling and it’s your mom. you already know. James is in damage control mode.

Thanks for reading my loves, theres more mess to come - I promise. Keep on, liking, commenting and sending over ideas. I hope those of you who send some in liked seeing them integrated in the story. What was your favorite part?

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TAGS:

@meadows5 @wnbweasley @becauseimher @ariiaeltheedonn @woahthatshitfat @miniaturehideoutmentality

[graysturns]

𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕙𝕖 | 𝕞.𝕤.

3.7k+ words

note: this had me crying! please listen to will he by joji on repeat to feel what i felt okay? okay love u guys bye

warnings: toxic relationship, weed use, alcohol consumption, p in v (unprotected), oral (fem recieving).

lightly proofread

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“you need to fucking relax. you get so worked up over nothing and now you’re bitching and whining at me over something that has nothing to do with me!” matt yells in my direction while sifting through his hamper.

“do you really think that’s okay? some girl whispering in your ear like that? it’s obvious she had an ulterior motive. and that way she put her hand on your chest, you didn’t even try to stop her! and now you won’t tell me what she was say-“

“why can’t you drop this? it was loud and i couldn’t hear her so she leaned into me. what the fuck was i supposed to do?” he interrupts.

“i don’t know, maybe establish a boundary? you always do this. it’s like i don’t matter to you. behind closed doors it’s ‘i love you baby, i can’t live without you, you’re my whole life’, it’s like i’m dating two different people!” i mock him.

“you’re such a fucking simp when it’s the two of us but god forbid another person is around. you forget i exist!” i continue.

“you already know i don’t like pda. no one needs to know the personal details of our relationship. i’m sorry you feel that way but that’s just how i am. you’re always trying to change me.” he huffs before throwing a hoodie down on his bed.

“matt, i’m not trying to change you. i just need to know that you love me. it hurts me that you’re so indifferent towards me at times. i need to know you feel the same way i do.” i choke out, tears forming in my eyes.

suddenly, his phone buzzes. i barely see the instagram message notification before he quickly grabs it and shoves it back in his pocket.

he lowers his head before bringing a hand up to his mouth, starting to bite his nails.

“what was that?” i stare back at him.

“it was nothing.”

“so, why are you being fucking weird?”

“i’m not being weird.”

“fuck this.” i grab my bag from his chair and walk to the door of his bedroom.

“where are you going?”

“matthew, i can’t be with you. i need — no i deserve — someone who loves me the way i should be loved. it feels like i embarrass you. you think i haven’t seen the models you follow? you’re so weird about your phone these days and i don’t have the energy to ignore it anymore. i’m not enough for you, but there’s probably someone out there praying for someone like me, someone who would kiss the ground i walk on, and appreciate me for who i am. you’re not him, but i’m going to find him. have a good fucking life matt.”

he stands at the foot of the bed, arms limp and slack-jawed.

i raise my eyebrows at him, awaiting some sort of response, but he rolls his eyes before turning around, focusing on his laundry once again.

“leave then, ungrateful bitch!” he scoffs as i slam the door behind me.

-two months later-

my head is pounding from the loud music blaring all around me and the amount of shots I’ve taken, which i’ve now lost track of. i feel like shit but i need something, anything to keep my mind off matt.

a pair of hands grabs my waist as i’m dancing and leads me toward their groin. normally i’d turn around and berate the man who felt like he had the right to put his hands on me, but i really need some fucking attention.

i don’t even turn to look at him before i press my back against his chest and move my hips in circles.

i can feel him move my hair to the side and start to kiss up my neck.

gross.

i continue to move against him, focusing on the music playing loudly. i feel high and drunk at the same time and everything is so fuzzy. i feel like nothing matters anymore. i’m so numb.

i turn around and face the man. he’s tall and blonde, with blue eyes just like matt’s.

“do you wanna get out of here?” i blurt out without a second thought.

he smirks before taking my hand and leading me out the door.

matt’s pov

i lean out my window, one hand tightly gripping the sill while my other brings the joint back up to my lips, sucking the thin white smoke. i exhale through my nostrils, shutting my eyes tightly.

thirty minutes ago, a mutual friend of ours posted a snap story of her downing shots. there were multiple men all around her, watching her drown herself in liquor. she wore a tight little dress that showed off all my favorite parts of her. my blood boiled at the thought of them ravishing her with their eyes.

that particular friend group is notorious for bar-hopping, and leaving behind whoever isn’t paying attention. i can’t stand the thought of her being stranded there, unaware of her surroundings, vulnerable and an easy target for anyone waiting to take advantage of her.

i press my palms into my eyes, trying to push the thought of her away.

she isn’t my problem anymore.

a sharp sizzling noise brings my hands back down when i notice one strand of my hair is smoking, the joint still between my pointer and middle finger.

“fuck.” i press the joint into the small ashtray she made me, when we went on a date to the pottery studio.

“fuck!” i yell out the window, wanting to throw the small ceramic out onto the street, but i can’t.

i’m such an idiot. she’s the only thing i’ve ever cared about, and now she’s out there, probably fucking someone new. but there’s nothing i can do about it, she isn’t mine anymore.

i stand up and shut the window, grabbing a hoodie from the chair and throwing it on before heading out to my car.

the drive is short and quiet. i pull up to the outside of her apartment building and park underneath a tree, far enough away to remain unnoticed but close enough to watch.

about twenty minutes pass by, and my nails are bitten to nubs, when a silver car pulls into the spot right in front of her door. i watch as she stumbles out, dragging some tall, frat-boyish idiot out behind her. she sloppily waves goodbye at the car as it zooms away.

i feel my ears heat up as she stumbles in to her apartment, bringing him inside with her.

it takes everything in me not to bust in there and rip him off of her. my mind runs wild thinking of what he could be doing to her in there.

reader’s pov

we exit the car and i wave goodbye to the nice man who dropped us off. i fumble with my keys a little before going inside.

“welcome to my home!” i throw my hands up and giggle.

“wow, it’s very.. cute.” he stands with his hands in his pockets, looking around at the stuffed animals on my couch.

i grab his hand and lead him up the stairs to my bedroom. “i don’t normally do this, but i just need to fuck and you seem like the kinda guy whose down.. for that kinda thing.” i slur my words as we enter my bedroom.

“yeah i’m so down, i think you’re really hot.” he chuckles before eyeing me up and down.

i roll my eyes internally before slipping my dress off and kicking it aside.

“okay let’s do it!” i clasp my hands together and giggle softly.

he smirks before pushing me onto the bed. “what a little slut, giving it up for a guy you just met at the club, and you’re not even wearing underwear, i love it.” he bites his lip before getting down on his knees.

he places a kiss on my navel before harshly sucking on my clit, with no warning.

i yelp out in pain, and not the good kind.

i can’t stop thinking of matt, how good he is at this, how i miss his tongue on my skin.

he begins to lick my outer folds, before slamming a finger into my cervix.

“fuck!”

“what’s wrong?” he looks at me bewildered.

“i’m not even wet, dude? have you ever eaten pussy in your life?”

he nods quickly before traveling up to my breast, and massages it slowly before biting down harshly on my left nipple.

“ow! oh my god, what is happening to me right now?” i blurt out.

matt was always so gentle.

he has a sad look in his eyes, and i begin to feel sorry for him.

“no, look, i’m sorry. come here,” i gesture at him to get on the bed and hover over me.

“i have lube on the nightstand, it’s okay,” i reach over and grab it, pumping some on my hand before spreading it around my clit and folds.

he pulls his shirt and pants off, before pulling his cock out and teasing the head on me, still in his boxers.

i look down and see them bunched around his knees and get the biggest ick.

before he enters me, i stop him with a hand on his chest.

“i’m not on birth control, you need a condom.” i lie to his face.

i always let matt finish inside me.

he smirks at me again, “that’s okay, i can pull out.”

“okay, no. i’m sorry this isn’t working out.” i roll out from under him and open my bedroom door.

“i think you should go.” i lower my gaze.

“no i can do better! i promise!” he pleads.

“get the fuck out man! now! go! go! leave!”

he quickly grabs his things and pulls up his boxers before tripping.

oh my god. i’ve never been so disgusted in my life. i cover my face in embarrassment.

matt would never give me this much second-hand embarrassment.

he stands, knees shaking and running down the stairs with his clothes bunched up in his arms. the door slams and i let out a sigh.

i feel disgusting.

after crying on my bed for a good five minutes, i look in the mirror and see a splotchy, nude mess. there’s mascara on my cheeks and my hair is a birds nest atop my head.

i need a shower.

in the bathroom, i turn the shower on high heat and step underneath the running water.

i wash my hair and face, then proceed to scrub my skin raw everywhere he touched me. my skin is red and burning by the time i exit the shower but i can still feel his grimy hands on me.

with a plush towel, i pat myself down before wrapping my hair up and going back into my bedroom to blow dry my hair.

halfway through, i hear my phone ding from the nightstand, where i had hooked it up to charge. i slowly walk over and peek at the screen.

it’s matt.

matt’s pov

my knuckles turn white from the grip i’ve got on the steering wheel. the windows are down, allowing the cool air to come in, helping me control my breathing.

a door slams and i jerk my head in the direction of her apartment. i chuckle slightly at the scene before me.

the same man, is now outside, standing in his underwear with all his belongings bundled up under his arm. not even five minutes after he had gone inside. his cheeks burn a bright red as he drops everything to quickly get dressed.

that bad, huh?

i snap a picture quickly and try to keep myself from laughing out loud.

this may be her first time trying to get back out there, but i can’t imagine how difficult it’d be for her to allow a man back in her bed after she’s had me.

i roll my windows up so i can watch him without being noticed. he’s scrambling to do something on his phone, shaking and crying.

how pathetic.

i can’t imagine how she’s feeling, probably sad, angry, maybe even missing me.

i decide to wait another twenty minutes. in the meantime, the mystery man is sat up against the wall crying into his hands.

finally, a car comes and he practically jumps in. they drive away pretty quickly.

i pull my phone out and shoot her a quick text. i miss her so bad, and i think she may be upset enough to actually hear me out.

thirty seconds pass and her name is on my screen, vibrating.

i slowly slide the answer button before bringing it up to my ear.

“hey baby,” i breathe out.

“uh.. hey,” she whispers.

“can we talk?”

“yeah i think that would be good.. can you come over now?”

“i’m already outside, sweetheart” i chuckle before pulling my key from the ignition.

reader’s pov

my heart is beating out of my chest.

he’s outside.

how long has he been out there?

did he see him?

fuck.

fuck!

there’s a small knock at the door, i quickly grab my robe from the hook of my bedroom door and slide it on, then run down the stairs.

i open the door to see matt, with his hair all fluffy and stubble on his jaw.

“hi matty,” i let out meekly, opening the door wider to let him in.

he smiles and follows me inside, shutting the door before grabbing my wrist and pulling me into a tight hug.

i feel my body relax into his warm plush hoodie, letting go of all the stress built up inside me. i wrap my legs around his waist and he carries me to the couch, covered in all the stuffies he had bought me. he takes a seat, and leans his head on my shoulder, exhaling softly into my neck. i twist my body so i’m on my side, laying between his legs, my head in the spot where his neck and shoulder meet, his hold on me still firm.

“baby,” he rubs small circles on my thigh.

“hm?” i look up at him through my lashes.

“i’m sorry. for everything. i took you for granted, and i shouldn’t have. you mean the world to me.” he sighs.

“you did. you hurt me a lot matt.”

“that girl, she was flirting with me and she kept messaging me, but nothing ever happened, i ignored all her messages but she wouldn’t sto-“

“i don’t want to talk about her right now, please.” tears threaten to spill over.

“i know, i know, i’m sorry. i just really need you to know i was never unloyal. i was just in a rough spot and i took it out on you. i didn’t know how to handle my emotions.”

i nod softly.

“and i’m sorry for calling you those names. and cursing at you. i hate myself for disrespecting you. these last two months have been absolute hell for me. i can’t get you out of my head, sweetheart.”

i nod again.

“i’m sorry for not showing you off, you’re the most beautiful woman on this planet, and i hate the thought of anyone looking at what’s mine and-and trying to pick you apart to get to me. i like keeping you my secret, that way you’re safe from the world around us.”

i raise an eyebrow at him.

“but that doesn’t mean i’m not going to do it. you’re worth so much more than you know to me. you deserve to be showered with love and adoration. you deserve everything, baby.”

i sit up slightly. “what does this mean, matt?”

he runs a hand through his fluffy hair before resting it on my hip. “it means i want to be with you, i can’t stand the thought of you being with anyone else. i’m ready to be the man you need me to be, if you’ll let me.” he looks at me with hopeful, bloodshot eyes.

i lean in and kiss him softly, resting my hand on his jaw.

he kisses me back with urgency before i pull away.

a tear slips down his face, breaking my heart into a million pieces.

“matty no,” i cry out and swipe it away, kissing him again.

“i love you. i need you back, please. if i need to get on my knees right here, i will.”

“please don’t get on your knees, you’re gonna make me cry.” i give him a small smile before curling up in his chest.

he wraps his arms around me and kisses my head. “can we go to bed, please?”

“of course,” i stand, grabbing his hand and pulling him up from his spot on the couch, leading him up the stairs.

he takes a seat on the edge of the bed, grabbing my hips and pressing his head against my abdomen, kissing me sweetly over my robe.

i bend down to his level and press my forehead against his, our noses touching.

“matt, i love you more than anything.” i whisper into his lips.

he grabs me and places me on his lap, so i’m straddling him, before he kisses me passionately.

“i missed this, so so much.” he sighs.

he lies back and kisses me with so much love, i feel my heart pounding through my chest.

i undo the tie at the front of the robe and start to pull it off my shoulders, leaving me bare.

“no, we don’t have to, i don’t want to make you feel pressured.” he grabs a hold of my elbow.

“no matt, i need this, please.” i plead at him with my eyes.

“you don’t have to ask me again, sweetheart,” he smiles before kissing my nose and flips us over, so i’m on my back.

he travels down to the valley of my breasts, leaving sweet, tender kisses along the way, then, a kiss on each of my hardened nipples. he takes the left one in his mouth and sucks softly while his free hand caresses the other, circling my nipple with his thumb.

he’s so gentle.

he focuses his mouth on the other for a minute, before traveling down to my glistening bundle of nerves.

“you’re so wet for me already, baby,” he gasps before running a finger up to my clit, collecting my arousal on his fingertip.

he pops it in his mouth, his eyes rolling back at the taste of me. i clench my legs together in desperation.

running his hand along the hem of his hoodie, he pulls it off, along with his sweatpants and boxers. his cock springs up, and i’m so happy to see him.

matt lies on his stomach, propped up by his elbows, before diving his face into my throbbing cunt.

he teases by moving his tongue in circles around the clit, then lays his tongue flat, making me shake uncontrollably under his touch.

oh, how i missed that tongue.

i squeeze his head with my thighs from the pleasure he’s giving me and he chuckles, his hot breath tickling my clit. he starts to place soft kitten licks on my sensitive spot before running a finger around the ‘u’ shape of my entrance, then slowly pushing it in.

i let out a loud moan. “matt! i need you please,”

“patience baby, i’m just getting started.” he starts to fuck my hole with his tongue, and i let out a scream.

“i can’t, i can’t wait!” i sit up and grab his hand, pulling him up towards me.

he smiles cheekily then positions himself at my entrance, teasing me up and down. i grab the back of his head and press our foreheads together, kissing him roughly.

“fuck me matt, i need you to fuck me.” i pull my knees up to my chest, opening my legs wide for him to enter.

first, he puts the tip in, and pulls it back out. then he thrusts forward, agonizingly slow.

his face contorts in pleasure, as if it were his first time.

then he picks up the pace, swinging his hips against me, groaning and praising my body.

i’m clawing at his back, desperate for his cock to go further inside me.

“matty please, deeper,” i whine.

“patience baby, patience.” he rolls his hips, causing me to let out a long string of curses.

i start to buck up my hips, wanting more.

“i said be patient baby. fuck,” he flips me around and pulls my hips up, so my face is buried in the pillows, before ramming into me from behind. i let out another scream, this time muffled by the pillows.

he grabs onto my hair and pulls my head back, slamming into me over and over again. i can feel the tip deep inside me, rearranging and disrupting whatever organs in its way.

the sounds of his groans and skin slapping make me feel fuzzy and light, i can feel my orgasm creeping up on me.

“matt, i’m gonna-“

“i know sweetheart, hold it for me, i’m almost there.” he bring his hand down to where we meet and rubs circles around my clit, causing me to clench around him.

my legs start to shake uncontrollably as i finish on his dick, and his thrusts slow down as he fills me up with cum.

matt came inside me. and it felt so good.

he pulls out and watches intently as it drips down my leg, then reaches over to the nightstand to grab a tissue. he wipes up my leg and around my pussy and throws the tissue at the waste bin in the corner, then falls beside me, pulling me into his arms.

he pulls the comforter out from underneath us and covers me, then reaches over to turn the lamp off. i snuggle into him, nuzzling my face into his neck.

“i’m so happy you’re back, i was dying without you.” i whisper into his neck.

“believe me, i know.” he kisses my head.

i close my eyes and start to drift off before he asks, “who was that guy that left here, crying?”

i widen my mouth in embarrassment. “fuck matt, you know about that?”

“yeah, i was uh, gathering up the courage to talk to you, and i saw him there. who was he?” he trails off.

“he was nobody. a disappointment, a distraction.”

“did you fuck him? before we uh, you know?” he asks with sad eyes.

i kiss him sweetly. “no baby, all he did was remind me how much i needed you.”

he sighs in satisfaction and pulls me closer. “i’m never letting you go again.”

⠈⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄

this is probably my favorite thing. i love it. hope you guys love it too 🤍

comment on this post to be added to my tag list! :)

tags??:

@imwetforyourmom @anonymouslyachrisgirl @junnniiieee07

[thats-a-mood-gabriella]

Okay. I kinda want to walk through what I think is happening in each of their heads during the conversation. For my own sake, mainly, but who knows, maybe someone else will find it useful. Spoilers ahead, obviously. (Also fair warning that this is long and I expect nobody to actually read it; this is mostly for me.)

So let's establish first where they are when Blitz arrives.

Blitz hates himself. He's on the path to healing after making up with Fizz, but it is a very long road ahead. So if you can imagine it as a spectrum where "hates self" and "loves self" are on opposite ends, maybe he's not all the way at the hates self end anymore, but he's still pretty darn far over that way. So Blitz is arriving thinking he's unlovable, that he makes everyone's lives worse, and that Stolas is possibly getting bored of him. We also know from his half of the duet that he genuinely looks forward to these full moon nights and likes their arrangement. Makes sense. It provides him with the comfort of what he thinks is the closest he can get to an actual relationship where all he has to give is something he knows that he can and that he's good at (sex). He wants to keep the arrangement going. Yes, for a way to earth, but also for Stolas. This, in Blitz's mind, is the only way he gets to keep him.

Stolas is likely unmedicated for his depression, since this show doesn't show us things like him being out of his pills as just a throwaway joke; it's important. Anyone who has ever had depression knows that it just loves to remind you of the worst things about yourself, most of which aren't even true. It tells you that you're worthless and unlovable. We can see this in the way he's covered everyone but Octavia in the artworks in his home, mirroring Blitz scribbling himself out of photos. He's been in a dark place. But Stolas is also being so brave, ready to ask Blitz to love him anyway. To choose him of his own free will, the way it should've always been. His depression is making it hard, but he's going out on the limb anyway and hoping Blitz will catch him.

"I need it back...permanently."

Blitz starts panicking. He reacts like a puppy that's been told it's a bad dog. He starts promising that he can be good, he can do better. He can fuck Stolas like nobody else can.

Stolas rebuffs the advance and this is interesting to me-- Blitz slips into his dom persona a little, trying to regain control of the situation. He calls Stolas "bitch" and pushes his legs apart, lowers his voice to be seductive. And it alllllllmost works, just for a second, as Stolas blushes and starts to fall under the spell of it all. But then he gets himself back under control and reasserts this new boundary.

Blitz immediately drops the act and starts to beg with genuine distress, tears in his eyes even, and up until this point, I won't argue with you if you try to tell me that it's all about the grimoire. I disagree, but I'll let you get away with telling yourself that. Right up until this point.

Because this is when Stolas holds out the crystal and everything changes.

Their fucking leitmotif or whatever you call it, I don't know music terms, it starts playing, changing from the dramatic, ominous music before. Blitz starts inspecting the crystal like he doesn't believe it's real.

Let's be clear: he knows what an Asmodean crystal is and what it does. He's seen them before at least twice, both in 2x05. So it's not that he's in disbelief or confusion about what it does or that it exists. It's that Stolas is giving it to him that's taking him aback.

"You no longer need my grimoire." "Whaaaat?"

Because all Blitz is hearing is "you don't need me now. I can be rid of you without guilt."

"I don't understand. Why are you giving me this? Am I not fucking you good enough? Because I can always do better."

Let's take a second to pretend we're in a world where Blitz has zero feelings for Stolas. That this has always just been about getting to earth. In that world, Blitz never says this line. In that world, Blitz splits right here. He has the crystal in his hands. He knows what it does. He is officially 100% free at this point.

But we don't live in that universe and this line proves it. Blitz thinks he's being cast aside and instead of seeing it as his chance at freedom from Stolas, he's begging to be kept.

I can do better. Don't throw me away.

"I care...very deeply for you. And I have for some time."

This is the face Blitz makes after that. The entire time Stolas is talking, he keeps looking between Stolas and the crystal while making this face, like he literally can't process what is happening. Of all the things he expected to happen tonight, this wasn't even on the list. And remember: Blitz hates himself. Blitz genuinely believes he is unlovable.

Have you ever experienced something so surreal that it's almost like you left your body during it? Like your brain literally couldn't process that this was happening to you, so it's almost like you dissociate to the point that you feel like you're watching it happen to someone else? Because things like this don't happen! Not to you. These are things you see on TV or hear happening to other people. But to YOU? There's no way it's real.

"You don't have to stay here with me."

He looks ALARMED. Scared. The thought that he's about to lose Stolas genuinely startles him. He doesn't want what he thinks is happening. He doesn't want to be cast aside. If his choice is this or the chains, he'd rather the chains.

But. That's not the choice he's being presented. Because Stolas adds,

"But I want you to."

And Blitz's brain, his traumatized, mentally ill brain...just can not process that. No one wants to keep him. He's a commodity to be bought and sold and has been since his father sold him to Paimon as a child (which, by the way, I'm fairly convinced he thinks was Stolas's idea, not Paimon's). Maybe even before.

So his defense mechanisms kick in from this point on. Default to what's comfortable. It must be a sex thing! There's no way Stolas means this, so it's gotta be some weird roleplay. Well, he can do that! He can swoon and say he loves him (and if that hits a little too close to the truth, then fuck you, no it doesn't) and it's fine because this is fake. This can't be real, because things like this don't happen to someone as "worthless" as Blitz believes himself to be.

Blitz is trying to protect his own heart here, but what Stolas is hearing is rejection. Blitz playing it off as a joke must mean that Stolas is a joke for ever thinking Blitz could love him back. And why would he? Stolas doesn't see himself as lovable, either. One of his earliest memories is of Blitz "using" him to steal from the palace, never knowing that Blitz was only doing so on his father's orders, just as Blitz probably doesn't know that he was bought on Paimon's order, not Stolas's. He's a commodity, too.

Stolas's depression immediately puts him in a place where he can't see past his own pain and self-loathing. Blitz not immediately jumping into his arms must mean that all the worst things he thinks about himself are true. Blitz sees him as the monster he fears he is.

So he pulls himself together and starts to walk. And again, Blitz could leave here if he didn't care.

But the strangest thing happens. Blitz realizes that Stolas meant it. He even asks,

"Wait, you were being serious? Hold on, Stolas. What the fuck?"

He's trying to talk it out. He's trying to have the conversation. He's hurt and confused and in disbelief but he's not running from this. He's not letting Stolas walk away from him because he wants Stolas, and he's actively trying to keep him. They have to talk this through, and Blitz of all people is the one trying to pull Stolas back into the conversation.

"The fact that you couldn't believe that I could have these feelings about you, the fact that your first instinct is that it's always about sex, that's enough to know what this is."

See, what we have to remember is that Stolas doesn't have all the information we do. He hasn't seen the crossed out pictures, he didn't witness the flashback to the fire that killed Blitz's mom. Stolas hasn't watched Blitz cry himself to sleep or drink himself into a stupor after what he perceived as a public rejection at Ozzie's. Neither of them have all the information about each other that we, the audience do.

So when Stolas, who doesn't know that Blitz hates himself and thinks himself unlovable, hears that Blitz thinks there's no way that Stolas could love him, what Stolas hears is "you, Stolas, are an unlovable monster in my eyes."

It just confirms all the worst things Stolas thinks about himself. It's a literal, "it's not you, it's me," situation, but Stolas can't see that because he doesn't have all the information.

And here's what's even more interesting. Blitz doesn't think it's over like Stolas does. He's not rejecting Stolas.

"Fuck you, Stolas. You spring this feelings bullshit on me, are you fucking kidding? Can I get a fucking minute to think after everything you put me through, you pompous, rich, asshole?"

This is Blitz saying that this is all very unexpected for him, but he's not saying no. He's saying "give me a minute, let me think. Don't take my first reaction in the way that you are. I was surprised. I was in disbelief. Give me a fucking minute to PROCESS."

But by this point, it's too late. Stolas's self-loathing has taken the driver's seat in his brain and all he can hear is that Blitz hates him, that he is unlovable, that he's a monster, that he's all the things he feared were true, and the person telling him that is the person he cared (second) most for in the entire world.

Blitz's defense mechanism is fight. Stolas's is flight. And so when Blitz unloads on him like that, Blitz is trying, in his own messed up way, to have the conversation. To work this out. To be honest for once and see if they can get somewhere now that the dam has been broken. While Stolas...his instinct is to flee. And since he's the one with the magic portals, guess what happens?

"I didn't realize you think so low of me."

You can tell by Blitz's reaction that he realizes they're not having the conversation he thinks they are. He realizes in that instant that Stolas isn't going to yell back with him. They're not going to scream at each other until they get it all out of their systems and reach a catharsis. He's hurt Stolas, maybe in a way that they can't come back from, and he immediately shifts his demeanor.

"Stolas, wait. I'm so--"

And then it's over. He's been kicked out of the palace. Thrown aside, just like he feared he would be.

And each of them are left feeling like the other thinks they're a monster, because neither of them realize that the only person who thinks they're a monster is themself.

I gotta go lie down, jfc.

[soleminisanction]

So. What actually happened between Secret and Spoiler?

The meat of this story goes down in Young Justice (1998) #30.

Taking place sometime shortly after the YJ crew returns from their adventures in space with Doiby Dickles, the story proper opens with a scene of Steph trying to follow Tim home to find out his identity and getting caught to establish that tension in their current dynamic for anyone who wasn't also reading Robin at the time.

As a refresher, when they decided to date (which was a couple of publishing years back at this point, during the events leading up to No Man's Land) Tim had tried to talk Steph out of it because he couldn't tell her his secret identity and he didn't think that was fair. Steph had responded with, quote, "I don't care about any of that, Robin. I just want to be with you." But she'd recently decided she wasn't happy with that arrangement after all and had been sneaking around trying to learn his identity behind his back.

This issue is very cathartic to me because it's one of the only times she's called out for violating her boyfriend's privacy, which starts here:

Couple of things to make note of here: Greta's not attacking Steph. We'd previously seen what it looks like when she uses her billowing clouds of angry smoke to attack (against Harm and the Pointmen, for example), and that's not what's happening here, she's just really pissed off. Steph is the one who escalates the whole thing to violence with that kick.

And while there is an element of jealousy here -- Secret did follow Robin home to get a look at his girlfriend -- the thing that's set her off isn't seeing Steph with Robin, it's learning of and seeing her self-centered justifications for her plans to continue trying to violate his boundaries. Which, it should also be noted, is something that Secret could do much more easily, but chooses not to. So it probably just pisses her off even more to learn that her crush is dating someone who'd disrespect him like that.

So they take it outside.

Where Greta, despite her anger, is almost certainly holding back because... yeah, let's face it, Steph doesn't actually stand a chance in this match-up. She has no powers, she hasn't even trained with Cass at this point; I don't know where she got that grenade but she's otherwise working with like a red belt in strip mall aikido and a bunch of gear she probably bought out of the back of a magazine. Secret is a sentient hellportal, a conduit between the realms of the living and the dead. She's pissed off, but she's still mostly focused on calling Steph out with her words rather than physically harming her.

Which Steph responds to with, again, a grenade and... this:

Why yes, that sword does come out of nowhere for a single panel and then vanishes into the ether, never to be explained or mentioned again. I find that hilarious. I suspect the script just said "Spoiler cuts the power lines" and left Todd Nauck to figure out how that worked.

But uh, speaking of how that worked -- in Greta's defense for how she'll behave later on in this post, Steph just clearly tried to kill her first. Like. I assume that any grenade a Bat is carrying around isn't so high-powered that it's actually going to hurt somebody if thrown at them directly so for all my joking I'll give her a pass for that, but the power lines?

Steph, of course, has no way of knowing that electricity is Greta's weakness, let alone that it's a trauma trigger for her. But she also has no way of knowing that Greta isn't an average metahuman teenager who would just, y'know, die from being hit with several hundred to several thousand volts of electricity. Which is part of a trend in Steph's characterization -- she's always had a tendency to make rash, dangerous decisions like this and only consider the ramifications after the consequences smack her in the face.

And once again, this is Steph's escalation; Greta only lets loose after Steph tries to low-key murder her. But I did say in my previous post that she was explicitly trying not to kill Steph here, right? That's because she's not:

"Oh," she says, directly to Steph's face. "I'm not going to kill you, but you're going to wish I had!"

The issue ends with Tim giving the girls a lecture about trust that... honestly, doesn't actually make much sense, but it's only there to set up the bullshit Bruce would soon pull in Robin to wrap up the whole Steph-and-Tim's-secret-identity subplot.

Instead, I'll just take this moment to point out that these two pages are the only part that anyone besides Steph and Greta themselves actually saw: Steph, overpowered and running like bugger all while a furious Greta hunted her down. Tim and Red Tornado don't have any other context for this encounter, and anyone else hearing about it would have even less.

We should also probably address the question of whether Greta was actually trying to hurt Steph here and: no, I don't think she was. Not physically, anyway. I think when she tells Reddy that she "just wanted to scare" Steph, she was telling the truth. Which, mind you, means she was going to dump her into a terrifying hell dimension and give her a repeated taste of her own mortality. But it wouldn't have hurt her; it didn't hurt the gang when they teleported through it in issue 19. And, frankly, between this issue and the shit Steph pulls over the course of the Robin issues around this subplot... I think she deserved it.

I never said I wasn't a hater.

Now, to be fair, Steph has no way to know this. She doesn't know Greta, and she doesn't have a reason to think kindly of her. And like I mentioned, it's an important part of Greta's storyarc that her powers and her connection to death makes her friends suspicious of her, and that suspicion sadly drives her to Darksied.

Which is why I'm inclined to think that their next encounters, brief as they are, are deliberately framed. First in issue 50:

And then in issue 54, during the storyline where Secret has allied herself with Darksied:

This leads into Greta basically eating Steph for reasons that don't actually have to do with their conflict -- she's already eaten the D.E.O., ie, the people who held her prisoner, and would continue to eat, it's implied, everyone on Earth except the members of Young Justice, saving them for last as we come to climax of the story. That probably counts as "trying to kill Steph" so technically speaking Greta has tried to kill Steph once, it just wasn't the time everybody thinks about or in a jealous rage. It wasn't personal at all, she was just part of a checklist.

The important bit I wanted to focus on was Steph and Tim's descriptions of their past encounter, and the fact that Greta calls it an exaggeration. With that context, I'm inclined to think that "almost killed me in a jealous rage" is the way that Steph framed their story to other people, not necessarily because she was trying to manipulate anybody, but because that's how she, Stephanie, internalized and interpreted the event.

Because Steph, demonstrably, doesn't think she was doing anything wrong. If she wants something, like her boyfriend's secret identity, or whatever, she will come up with excuses and justifications why she should get to have it ("He's testing me! He wants me to figure it out!" etc.) and no one can change her mind. So it's inconceivable to her that this person who clearly has a crush on her boyfriend would actually be mad at her for the reason they say they're mad at her; clearly, to her, Secret was jealous, and therefore Secret must have been the aggressor. Plus, she was big and scary and Steph (to be fair) had no way of knowing that Greta was mostly just having trouble keeping her emotions under control.

And because nobody else saw what went down between them, people were more inclined to believe Steph's story over Greta's, partially because Greta was clearly the overpowering victor when Red Tornado and Robin arrived on the scene, and partially because Greta's powers mean people, even her friends, tend to be suspicious of her, which is a key point in her personal, rather tragic storyarc.

---

So, to summarize, because I know this has gotten rambly: Greta followed Steph home to investigate her and was angered by her violating Robin's privacy. Steph escalated their dispute into violence, and then further into attacks that could be perceived as lethal until she bit off more than she could chew. Robin and Red Tornado, arriving at the tail end of the fight, only saw the much more powerful Secret overwhelming normal human Spoiler and were therefore more inclined to believe Steph's version of the story which, naturally, framed her as the victim and Greta as the aggressor, when it was in actuality a more even fight fueled by anger rather than jealousy.

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Sand's Reaction to Ray VS Boeing

I know some people will be annoyed that Sand wasn't more forceful in telling Boeing to leave him alone. In my opinion, this isn't really surprising. Sand's biggest strength and weakness is his kindness. He'll make concessions for people, even those who hurt him. Ray is a prime example. Why would his ex be any different?

Boeing's Dubious Intentions

It's glaringly obvious just how uncomfortable, stiff and exasperated Sand's body language is during their second exchange. This is someone he shared his ultimate dreams and passions with, which must have made the betrayal even more devastating. We still don't have the full context as to how this all went down, but I'm sure Sand hasn't forgotten that Boeing chose to leave him. Compared to their first re-encounter where Sand appears rattled and somewhat flustered, here he seems to display a more resolute lack of patience, possibly after reminding himself of Boeing's true colours.

This doesn't erase the fact that Sand had feelings for him once, cared about him once. Sand didn't choose to end the relationship, Boeing did. So there would have been unresolved feelings that Sand had to process alone in the aftermath. For Boeing to have the audacity to swan back in rightly warrants a less than lukewarm response.

Even so, Sand shows Boeing an incredible amount of grace when he certainly doesn't have to. He tries to calmly but firmly ward Boeing off. "State your business". "Just forget it. I don't think I'll go." "Just friendship. That I can give you." He makes it very clear that Boeing can find him at the bar but nowhere else. He's trying to establish a distinct boundary, which Boeing swiftly disregards.

Sand's Unease: Where Past & Present Collide

The way Sand is reacting says to me he desperately doesn't want Ray involved. He seems eager to keep him well away from Boeing. Sand could have chosen not to mention his ex's sudden reappearance, but decides to be upfront with Ray about it. I think Sand's turmoil is a sign of worry over what Boeing may do, rather than an indication of indecisiveness over his own feelings. The reason I say this is because Sand doesn't show any warmth, residual affection or happiness in seeing Boeing again. He looks mostly wary, unnerved even.

I can also see why Sand would try to refrain from openly displaying his feelings for Ray in Boeing's presence. If he exhibits just how much he cares about Ray, whose to say whether Boeing may pull another stunt like he did with Mew/Top and try to pursue Ray instead just to be messy. The way Sand looks at Boeing is laden with suspicion and uneasiness, particularly when Ray is around. This is really noticeable when Boeing first addresses Ray - Sand's whole demeanour gets much colder and standoffish.

We don't know precisely what Sand is afraid of - that Boeing may target any ill will at Ray? Or that Ray may be affected by his ex flaunting details about their history which could cause jealousy? Things are going really well between Ray and Sand right now but it's possible Boeing could try to stir up a misunderstanding or create conflict between them.

Ray's Protectiveness: "Deal with him or I'll do it."

Ray knows better than ever what Sand is like. He's all too aware of just how painfully kind and caring his boyfriend can be, often to his own detriment. Boeing is keen to exploit this very fact by trying to appear imploring towards Sand, "You never yell at me." Ray is also acutely familiar with how Sand struggles to say no to those he cares about.

Whilst Ray observes angrily, I like to think this comes from a place of being mad for Sand more than anything. If he's seen their entire interaction play out, he'll notice that Sand has not once initiated physical contact with Boeing. He doesn't shirk him off, but he certainly doesn't respond either. He keeps his arms firmly planted at his sides, and yet Boeing keeps trying his luck. Something about the way Boeing behaves with Sand feels like he treats him as a plaything - someone he used to have wrapped around his finger. Perhaps he thinks that the power he used to have over Sand still remains.

Sand's expressions also feel loaded with shame, as if he's repeatedly chiding himself for being foolish enough to love someone like Boeing, who so cruelly tossed him aside. That somehow he feels partly to blame. Maybe this is a Sand he doesn't want Ray to see. Yet here Ray is, on the side-lines, taking all this in.

From their very first interaction, Boeing is trying to undermine Ray. You can see Ray's growth as he doesn't confront or make a fuss, but chooses to respect Sand's wishes and instead stays quietly hidden to keep watch. He looks to Sand for confirmation he'll be okay on his own before leaving. Though he can detect something isn't right, he allows Sand the opportunity to handle this first.

As soon as he sees Boeing trying to cross a line, he steps in. He's not going to permit Boeing trying to drag Sand off somewhere alone, he'd rather keep the enemy directly under his nose.

What I'm hoping to see in Episode 12 is protective Ray to come out full force. I've said this before but the entire series has been Sand looking after Ray. Whereas this would be a great opportunity for Ray to look out for Sand, and to teach Boeing a lesson at the same time.

That eye contact in the last scene was so loaded. Ray's gaze is a silent threat- 'That's my man you're looking at, don't get used to it. If you're really stupid enough to try anything on my watch, I'll tear your neck out.' Don't ever underestimate Ray, he's small but feisty.

[cosmicobubisi]

Cosmic's Malleyuu Whump vs Flufftober: Day 31

making amends / Make a Wish

Simultaneously posted to AO3 here.

"If you could make a wish for anything in the world, what would you wish for?"

As was so often the case nowadays, Yuu and Tsunotaro were walking through some of the crumbling buildings of Night Raven's campus, just the two of them.

At this hour, most of the lights were off. It made Yuu feel as though the two of them were at the brink of the world’s consciousness, and though it was isolating, it was also somewhat comforting to be alone with Tsunotaro.

Comforting... wasn't the right word.

Comfort could not describe the feeling that had begun to poke Yuu more and more nowadays.

It bloomed like a flower around Tsunotaro, drinking up his rainlike praise with zest.

Like the bud of a delicate flower, their feelings were similarly veritable to be bruised or snapped if the winds blew too sharply.

This is why Yuu refused to investigate the felling any further, afraid if they nudged it too hard, it would die.

Tsunotaro was just so hard to read. On the best of days, he was an open book, generous with the stories he chose to share with Yuu.

On the worst, he was sly, often bordering on duplicitous. He seemed to want to catch Yuu in a trap were they contradicted themselves, the only apparent reason for why being because he could.

"What would I wish for...?" he mused gently.

"Yep! Anything you want! Just one, though," they said, a goofy smile on their face.

It was such a simple question, perhaps even a frivolous one, but Yuu found their own sort of pleasure in drawing the mundane from the magnificent.

"Hmmm. What are the bounds of this wish?" he asked.

"I dunno. You can't wish for more wishes, I guess."

"How many laws of nature am I allowed to break?"

"Uhhh... just tell me your wish!" exclaimed Yuu.

He shook his head. "I don't have one. I was trying to establish the boundaries so I would have more Ideas."

Yuu sighed, laughing just a little at the end.

"What about you?" he inquired. "Do you have a wish you'd like to share?"

A wave of thrill rose up from Yuu's stomach to their spine at the words.

"I think... I think I'd want a way to make my soulmate stay with me forever."

They winced as Tsunotaro laughed.

"What a simple notion," he said, as his chortles died down. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh at you. It's very romantic, is all."

Yuu's brow furrowed, stamping out their hurt feelings.

"I guess," they said, trying to suck the venom out of his words with their nonchalant words.

"It's simply..." Tsunotaro trailed off, gesturing with his hands in the night air. "I cannot imagine finding any one person so alluring, that that's what I'd wish for before anything else."

"Really?" said Yuu, surprised. It wasn't their own feelings they were thinking of- Tsunotaro always gave off such a princely, dare they say romantic, air.

But Yuu wasn't blind enough to think of him as a prince on a white horse in silver armor. No, Tsunotaro was a man of shadows, who loved dearly but sparingly.

"That kind of love," he continued. "It's dangerous, or at least that's my impression."

Yuu hummed. He did have a point.

"But isn't there something so romantic about that?" they insisted, not able to let it go. "Loving someone so hard you lose yourself, being unable to tell where you end and where they begin? I mean, people go their whole lives never finding their soulmate."

Yuu smiled to themselves. "I'd rather have my soulmate and face all the problems in the world, than be able to sidestep a few alone."

Tsunotaro gave them a curious glance out of the corner of his eye.

"There isn't," he replied. "Not to me, anyway."

"A person like that?"

"A feeling so strong that could make me supersede all logic like that," he explained.

His face darkened.

"That kind of love is fleeting. Hoping for it to last longer than a moment would be like catching a wild bird in a cage. It will either fly away or die of despair."

Yuu pursed their lips. "That's pretty grim."

"Ah. I apologize."

"It's ok," they said quickly, wanting to smooth over the situation.

"I see the appeal, but I suppose I'd simply rather live untouched, never knowing a love so deep so it could never leave a hole in my heart."

"I get that."

"But you'd still want that, then? Your wish would be a powerful love, even if it were fleeting?"

"I do," said Yuu with a swell of confidence. "Even just a moment of pure love like that is better than a whole life without it, right? Comparatively?"

Tsunotaro looked off to the side.

"I'd rather not," he reiterated. "I'd rather live in ignorance, and never fear losing what I never had."

They walked in silence, and Yuu sensed they'd upset him with their choice of topic.

"Hey," they said. "What'd you think about the magift game this last weekend?"

--

Encircled in fire, the courtyard burned brightly as Yuu stood in its center.

The smoke was turning the sky an odd color, and the flames cast the serene garden in a macabre light, and it morphed the shadows on Malleus's face, framing him in a grim, desperate way.

At least, that;s what Yuu thought, from what they could see. Their vision wasn't doing so good these days.

The circles under Malleus's eyes were deepened by the grotesque light, and he kept a loose hold on his staff as he held his other hand up in surrender.

"Please," he said, defeated. "Let us discuss this."

"We. Have. Talked." spat Yuu, clipping the end of each word to ensure they'd be emphasized. "You have talked."

"Yes," he conceded readily, head bobbing in agreement. "I have spoken, more than my fair share. That is why I want to listen now."

Yuu said nothing, trying to amp up the intensity of their glare.

He was talking to them like they were a wild animal to be herded. His words were laced with sugary sweetness, trying to get them to swallow the bitter medicine of his words.

"I remember," he said. "I remember what you said back then. About a great love."

It took a few moments for Yuu to remember the conversation. Their walks felt like they were a lifetime ago now.

Why bring that up now, though?

"I see now. I see the value in such a thing," he said, a pleading undercurrent entering his voice.

Yuu remained unmoved.

It was what they wanted to hear, but too little, and far too late.

Their lack of reaction must have confused him as to their receptiveness of his words, because he took a step forward.

Yuu instantly took one too, flashing their weapon, and Malleus took two backwards.

His surrendering stance had reasserted itself, and he kept his hand up.

A stray bit of something tickled Yuu's bad eye, and they reflexively tried to blink it away before remembering that made it worse.

Instead, they reached up to wipe away the copious amount of blood dripping from their wounded eye, hoping this time, it would be the last.

They couldn't quite get it clean enough to see out of, no matter how much they cleaned, and when they dragged their sleeve below where they thought their eyes was, Yuu ended up tugging at something that sent more blood rushing down their face.

The sight made Malleus cringe in disgust, or pity, or something.

It was some victory.

"I want that," he said again, a tremor in his voice. "Please."

Yuu stayed still, and the intimidation tactic worked.

"Between us, you were the only one who wanted to fight for love. Allow me to fight for you. Let me make our few moments last a lifetime's worth of happiness."

Something ran down Yuu's cheek, and they brushed it away.

It would have been romantic, had it been a tear shedding, but Yuu knew that was unlikely, with the tangy smell of blood so close to their nose.

"Isn't it worth it? To taste at the fountain of love, even if you could never drink again?" he said, giving his voice a stamp of triumph.

Yuu was fed up with this. Malleus's hopeless prattling, in an attempt to extend their own life by even a few minutes, had worn out the last shreds of Yuu's patience.

He had no right to do this now. They felt a bit angry, but mostly, hearing what they'd wanted to hear for so long just hollowed them out.

"I'd honestly rather die," they said flatly.

Yuu raised the gun, and pulled back the hammer.

[dhmis-autism]

TALK ABOUT DAD DOG DUO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEE THEYRE MY FAVES

Okaaay I’ll talk about them! I’ll knock out about three or so things about their relationship that I've noticed that I like about it. Because they are my faves also as well. I mean, look at them!

First, and I’ve seen a post on this before (where I have NO IDEA I’ve BEEN LOOKING) so it’s not my original idea but I love pointing it out; how Duck takes care of YG physically.

First one to rush to get the first aid kit in Jobs, careful enough with Warren extraction in Friendship to not hurt YG, and some could argue that swapping his old rusty  batteries out the first time in Electricity is a form of first aid. There’s also smaller stuff like how based off the flashback in Death, YG clearly trusts Duck enough with things like this to ask for his help.

Second would be the fact that I think their relationship is fairer than a lot of people think. Lots of people seem to have this idea that Duck is sort of a weird parental/authority figure over YG or that their relationship is just Duck constantly berating this guy who thinks the world of him. I’m going to break down why I think both of those points are untrue, and why I think their relationship is closer to equal.

YG clearly feels comfortable enough around Duck to draw boundaries with him. Example that immediately comes to mind, for me, is when Duck is trying to get the other two to leave with him in Family and Yellow straight up just turns him down. Like, if he doesn’t want to do something or go somewhere with him, he won’t.

Also, weirdly enough, the fight in Friendship solidifies more of them being on a equal playing field to me. Like Duck starts it verbally, but YG both makes it physical and immediately tells Duck not to insult him. Which, IMO, you wouldn’t do to someone you totally idolized/a parental figure. YG barely reacts when his own dad pushes him in Family, so I think if he saw Duck as a parental figure he definitely wouldn’t fight back the way he we see him do in Friendship.

Third I’m going to end with cute things about them that I’ve noticed. Starting with of course! Little moments in Death that are sweet like…

YG holding all of Ducks ties during Big Day

Duck ironing white socks in Big Day when we NEVER see him wear socks. YOU KNOW WHO DOES WEAR WHITE SOCKS THOUGH

YG sitting on Ducks bed while he mourns him

The flashback during Memories where Duck yells at him to GET OFF implying that Yellow makes himself comfy in Ducks bed often enough to make Duck annoyed

Their shared interest in music :]

The way they both bob their heads agreeingly in Transport when Red Guy is cycling through driving instruction tapes, implying they both understand the lessons LOL

Of course I have to bring up the (you have diabetes/ maybe your blood sugar is low, let me get you a snack thing) which makes me cry a lil bit. Both because of what it implies about them offscreen AND because as I’ve established in a previous post, when his batteries are Charged, YG’s memory is NOTABLY horrible. And despite that … somehow the diabetes thing was important enough for him to remember <:3

Anyways fav fav fav duo I LOVE them with all my heart. ❤❤❤❤❤

[theamityelf]

Speaking of underrated Yandere characters... what about Makoto? What would he be like as a Yandere? Can we even yan-ify the lad? I imagine the amount of power he has as Ultimate Hope (if this is post-everything) could be wielded in a real scary fashion... but at the same time, Makoto has so little malice in his body I'm really struggling to think of actual harmful yan-yan activities he could do that wouldn't just make me want to pinch his cheeks and go, "You're adorable!" ....Maybe that's a skill issue on my side, though. Since I find everything Makoto does to be babygirl

OKAY, let's do this. 🤩

As you've kind of observed, this needs to be divided into Pre-Tragedy Yandere Makoto vs. Post-THH Yandere Makoto. (There's a gap in there, between the Tragedy and the end of THH, because anything he does as a yandere while locked in Hope's Peak would be less interesting and so I'm ignoring that time period.)

I'm trying to keep this as in-character as possible, so I should say, before I begin, that it's also possible to go a "Makoto's canon personality is a front to cover his creepy yandere side" route, instead. That just wasn't my choice for this post. There are a lot of ways to go with this, and I'm kind of zeroing in on one interpretation.

(You can read this as x Reader; the best canon character to use as the darling for this is probably Hajime or some other non-Ultimate character.)

Pre-Tragedy Yandere Makoto: The yandere side doesn't kick in until they're in an established relationship. Makoto is pretty great at pining and having unrequited feelings for people; pre-Tragedy, I'm willing to say there's a generous off-ramp where the person doesn't return Makoto's feelings and nothing comes of it.

Pre-Tragedy Yandere Makoto, the trap only closes if he starts to date the person or get close to them in a way that is understood to be romantic, at which point his behavior is...extremely considerate. Or I should say, extremely thoughtful; considerate implies there are robust boundaries.

It's like, he's constantly giving his darling things they'll like, or things that remind him of them.

He of course doesn't announce to his classmates that he's dating someone; they notice the change in indirect ways (since he still doesn't talk about himself or his life that much). They notice he's often in a noticeably good mood, and he's often going above and beyond to accommodate his darling's needs. (The more true this is, the worse it'll be later.)

If his darling likes a certain musician, he's finding a way to get them sold-out concert tickets. (Maybe it's Ibuki's old group, and he has to do her homework for a week to get her to call them to get him tickets.) If his darling is home sick from school, he's making sure he has their notes for the day and doing favors for Teruteru to get them some soup and just generally, the vibe is, "Wow, Makoto really likes this person; he's going all out. They're so lucky. He's so great."

So, if the person ever tries to break up, some of Makoto's less scrupulous friends are going to be a serious obstacle.

Something like, Byakuya ordering them to take Makoto back, like, "His birthday is coming up, I didn't know what to get him, so I bought the bank that owns your house. Take him back, or I'll evict you."

Kyoko doesn't blackmail them, but she does some standard detective-ish stalking, enough to be like (if it's Hajime), "I wondered why you would break up with him, but then I found this [Kamukura Project signup sheet]. Needless to say, I think he'd like to know that the reason wasn't anything to do with him. I'll be taking this with me."

Mondo not explicitly threatening them but cornering them and asking a bunch of questions. "So, what gives? There's no way he fvckin' cheated; he was practically doodling your name in hearts 'n sh!t. So what's the problem?" (And Fuyuhiko might pull a similar thing. Makoto makes a lot of friends.)

If his darling tells him what his friends are doing on his behalf, he'll just smile sheepishly like, "Oh, sorry about that," and do nothing to stop them. He didn't tell them to do any of it, because he doesn't have to, and he kind of knows that and lowkey uses it.

Post-THH Yandere Makoto: Post-THH, the opt-out isn't there; if he's spending enough time with someone to develop feelings for them, his friends notice the change in his mood and that's pretty much a wrap, whether they start dating or not. "You can't leave. I haven't seen him this happy since before the killing game." "With everything the world is taking from him, he deserves one thing."

In either case, he's a very persuasive yandere. It's easy to explain away any clinginess or off behavior he shows. Anything he does personally (as in, not via being-sad-around-his-friends), he does for a reason. His yandere self is a weird parody of normalcy, where keeping tabs on the person he loves makes sense for a lot of reasons that seem obvious when he says them in that simple, innocent way, but he'll look away shyly if the person he loves were to take their shirt off.

Anything he can't explain away, he'll just apologize for. He's a really easy person to get along with. He adapts to people very well, and he has molded himself around his darling.

He catches them in a lie– even just a normal lie, like exaggerating what time they got back to their room after school, work, or whatever else –and gladly accepts any reasoning for it, and it always seems like he's the one being taken advantage of, because he's always so eager to accept his darling's excuses, but hey, why were you able to point out the lies in the first place, Makoto? And why did you?

Example:

"Yeah, sorry I didn't answer your text. I didn't get out of my study group until, like, 9pm, and by that point I was just too exhausted to check my phone."

"Really? That's weird. Chihiro told me you got out at about 5:45. And I heard that you were scrolling Instagram on your way to your room."

"...Yeah...Well I just...I accidentally checked my texts during study group, so by the time I got out, everything was marked as read and I forgot to text back."

"I figured it was something like that. No hard feelings! It's not like it was an emergency or anything. Hey, I got you something from the school store...!"

[candlelightreader]

Last rant to process:

Creative choices are meant to be about the art. The art is meant to be about the story. The story is meant to be about characters following narratives that are embedded within their histories and that show development, growth, and coherence.

In other words, it can be sad, shocking, outrageous, or whatever you like, and if it follows the foundations already established, it will feel right and you will be right there with the characters. If aiming for realism, then it is a monumental fuck up if you can't adhere to neither the patterns of real life nor those of your own universe/characters. Realism doesn't mean documentary. It means you are making sense within pre-established boundaries.

Moreover, you create more questions than you answer...

With Athena reliving her worst nightmare decades later, something she only just got over just this year, what is the purpose? As I already noted somewhere else, what you keep saying about this Black woman not deserving happiness and love and having to simply lose over and over is telling. I would take a divorce where she for once has agency in the matter than this.

The same with Chim losing a loved one on the job all over again in a way that let's him feel guilt over it, but for what? For what artistic reason would you insert such angst when he already revisited this guilt and trauma with Albert and during his weird fever hallucinations?

And Bobby dying despite finally wanting to live is not the true issue. It is just done so badly! It is an afterthought! It is just a little side plot in both the episode he dies and the one where he is bid farewell, rather than a monumental event that it would be. The not making it happen during a series finale makes it especially odd. (Hence the opening for the idea that it is fake or at least will be fumbled enough for people to exist stage left and never return for 9, I guess. I know I'm peacing out.)

But as if that was not enough, you took him away from the home and love he found, back to Minnesota? Why? It's just so very cheap and narratively empty. We never even saw him visit those graves. But, most of all, you mean to tell me the man who was suicidal and who knew his job was very dangerous and who had enough close calls over the years to know this intimately did not leave a will!?? You telling me Athena the cop who almost got killed by a suspect and Bobby her fire captain husband did not already speak of what they wanted with regards to burial and last rites? Also, after him literally quiting over the medal, you're telling me he would have approved of the fanfare funeral and not made it a requirement that he get a simple funeral? Mr. I'm just a public servant himself? Give me a break!

Finally, I don't care how, but you get all the people who played a part in someone's life to their funeral! This is how it works in the real life you are trying so very hard to emulate. People show up to support a family and friends, no matter how far or near they are to the deceased! For Chim, where was Albert? How about the Lees? For Athena, where was Elaine, Rick, and Lou? What about colleagues she's known for decades? Where were the 911 dispatch staff/friends who know Maddie and Chim just lost a major person in their life in a horrible way? Where were the priests Bobby spoke to during his time in LA, particularly the hot priest?

And if you can't have them show up, because of course you probably can't get the actors, you give a damn good reason. You at least show flashbacks of all the lives he touched or you show photographs! You show his life! Oh and his Minnesota chief who supported his move to LA would've been there, even his his crew completely turned their backs to him. His new sponsor after Wendell, where were they? His sponsorees? Like, he had a bigger life than just his death two minutes ago!

And I have not even gotten into the badly written storyline for the fire fam. Acting out of character because a disaster befell you is one thing. But this was just dry. Chim got some sort of look, but the others just were... there. Bad directing and writing? And, there was no need for fucking Gerard. Would've taken Brad over that racist, sexist, homophobic fucker who never apologized to anyone by the way. And you speak of Tommy but he ain't even visible so what's the fucking point? Oh and forget the parents. His mom amd brother who they made a whole fuss introducing don't even have a fucking line?

If you want me to believe this, whether it is real or fake, it is just mediocre either way. If real, it's just a major let down. If fake, it is clumsy, silly, and has no pay off.

I'm sorry to overrant but it is helping me process the frustration.

(Edited for typos)

[an-exasperated-hades-kid]

Ranking pjo ships cause why not :

1.Percebeth: 9.5/10

They're so cute, and I loved watching their relationship develop through out the percy jackson series like they have the I don't like you to ig we're friends now to besties who have obvious crushes on each other to lovers like this is the only slow burn that didn't make me wanna pull out hair. I love that these two would do anything for each other and are mostly supportive of each other and the seaweed brain and wise girl nicknames that went from insults to terms of endearment and I also love that they're not afraid to call each other our on their bs like I've seen stuff where percy doesn't say shit to annabeth and like have we Been reading the same books cause in MoA and HoH percy stands up for what he believes and even before that he doesn't bend to annabeths will and wishes like in botl and literally all the time in tlt like bro stands up for himself and expresses his opinions and so does annabeth and I love that ?? It's a balanced relationship in which there are years of getting to know each other and then getting together like they are bffs before lovers

But it has some issues, tho like they're wayyyy too codependent on each other which isn't that healthy but this is my opinion and I could be wrong

2. Solangelo: 8.75/10

I love them ok they're so cute like they're all about balance , acceptance, and understanding which is something nico needs in his life he doesn't need someone who'll worship him or sugarcoat stuff for him he needs someone who will be real with him about stuff like will has always been real towards nico and he has always taken care of nico wether you like it or not. Nico has always had issues that people are creeped out by him and afraid of him and will is someone who has never been afraid of nico and has treated him normally like he jokes with him and isn't walking on eggshells around him and makes him realize that not everyone hates that he can find a home in chb and nico says this tsats and even before that you can tell how nico feels and is extremely supportive of him and reminds nico that he's safe and is extremely understanding of nico . In tsats, we see that they complete each, like nico is the warrior and will is the healer, and both roles are important like nico protects will from physical harm and will patches up nicos wounds and protects him from mental and emotional harm. It also shows that no one is perfect, like Will isn't always able to understand nico so he asks for advice and this shows that trying is the best you can do for someone you love , trying to understand them and support them . They also have alot of potential in general as we've only seen them in their honeymoon stage and their developing stage we haven't gotten the established stage and sure tsats isn't perfect in the adventurous sense but the point of this book was to show healing , moving on and making peace with stuff and it did that pretty well .

The only bad points about it is that one scene in boo which shows that will had good intentions but bad execution in expressing his pov and I want them to talk about it cause what he said wasn't nice and it was quite rude ik he didn't intend it but still it was not OK . Next, I want nico to set up boundaries for himself because Will isn't a mind reader and can not know what to not do unless he's told . I want rick to tell us more about Will as a person like we know more now, but still I want rick to flesh out as a character even further

3. Jasiper: 6.5/10

They weren't well developed, and it was kinda forced by hera even tho I know that at one point they truly loved each other but it wasn't well executed and they were bad as showing it I honestly wish that they had more time to understand themselves and then into a relationship like it would have been much better that way yk

4. Frazel : 8/10

They're cute together, they make each other happy they're comfortable around each other and they trust each other hence they're a good ship

I don't see why the age gap thing is a problem because it's just 3 years and where I'm from, that's a pretty normal age gap between lovers like my grandparents have a 10 year age gap but they're happy and love each other but ill add it since some people see it as problematic. They're underdeveloped and kinda rushed, and whole I get that they knew each other before SoN but still

5. Caleo : 4/10

It came outta nowhere dude like they were together for 2 chapters and then kiss kiss fall in love like wth 🤦‍♀️ but they have potential to be good ship ig I'm being generous with 4 because of that also the age gap thing isn't a problem because mentally and physically calypso is like 15-16 but if you see it chronologically calypso is older than apollo who is 4 thousand five hundred years old and that's 🚔🚨👈😄

6. Valgrace : 7/10

So so much potential they would have been soo cute and the most un problematic 🤧

7. Percico : 3/10

No, just no percy literally strangled nico when he was 12 even though he knew that nico didn't mean to betray him and honestly just wanted to know about his mom which percy should have understood because his mom means the world to him and it was clear that nico didn't expect hades to double cross him and percy had a right to be mad but strangling nico is too far . Bro also implied that nico doesn't belong in chb at the end of botl, and bro was silent during the negotiation of whether to save nico or to let him suffocate inside a jar which un excusable he also kept giving nico responsibilities like dealing with hades's wrath which could result in death during tlo and then the whole doors of death thing when nico was extremely weak. so yeah, no, they'd be toxic asf oh and I forgot mention percy never apologized for anything and never thanked him ( from what I remember, it's been a min since I read tlo ) also nico had a case of hero worship crush on him which would make a power imbalance in that relationship soooo

8. Jasico : 5/10

I see them as bros and so does rick and it's written in a way that people would see them as friends like it's clear that nico doesn't like jason like that and in tsats it's said that he missed the feeling of Jason's protective arms around him because he trusts jason and if he was to say something about Reynas hug it would be the same thing or even hazels hugs because that's how he sees them In a platonic/ familial way ( not saying that jason is his brother here ) and he also said something like a part of him died when jason died and that's because he cared about jason like he was his 1st actual friend and he felt him die so this is understandable he's allowed to grieve his friend and miss him . Also, jason is kinda unfortunately dead 😕 😔 so it's outta the question. And if he ended up with jason the whole I can belong thing wouldn't happen because it was will who made him realize that he can have a place in chb jason tired to tell him that but nico didn't really believe him . But hey, I understand the jasico shippers and respect the ship. I don't ship it, and I never will, but I can see why people like it because jason does care about nico and nico cares about jason .

Wait, I think it's canon that nico heard the sevens debate on whether he should be saved or not in his dreams, and if it is canon, then nico saw jason vote for him to die in a jar sooo

9. Jercy : 6/10

I don't ship it ship it but it's a fun thing to think about. It's my crack ship, but I could not see it happen in Canon at all

10. Pipebeth : 6/10

Annabeth was definitely pipers queer awakening, but same as jercy, it's my crack ship

11. Reyna with anyone is not my thing because rick said she's aro/ace, but if you ship theyna or jayna, you're cool because her sexuality isn't confirmed in the books, so you can interpret it in anyway you want

12 . Nico x any girl is ew because he's gay it's confrimed in the books and multiple times by rick himself and if you ship him with any female gtfo

13. Valdangelo : 2/10

I don't know how leo views nico now, but when we do get his pov, he always has something bad or rude to say about him and as much as I love leo it makes me wanna hit him

I'm sorry for the typos and mistakes. I still don't have my glasses, and if I'm wrong about something, please correct me

[jungkoode]

okay sorry but now i aam so curious, can you miss kiki give us a rundown of every detail you’ve added to chapter 12? 🤍🤍🤍🤍

Alright. I wanted to say no because this is going to make me insane—but I needed to respond to this one for my own peace of mind before going to sleep.

Because if there’s one thing I want you all to take away from FMU, it’s that nothing is random. Nothing is just there for the sake of being there. Every detail—every glance, every reaction, every subconscious decision—is deliberate. I don’t write things just to fill space; I write things to mean something.

So now that we have established that… You guys really want to see how unhinged I am? You really want to understand what I mean when I say analyze everything?

Okay. Hold your fucking purses.

Also, let this serve as a warning. SPOILERS AHEAD. I’m going to be listing every single thread I wove into Chapter 12 while trying to remain as spoiler-free as possible for future events. This is mostly going to focus on linking things that have already been implied or set up. But this will change your perspective and likely influence your reading, so proceed with caution.

That being said. Here we go:

The very first thing Nix notices when she gets home is the vanilla scent. And her immediate reaction? Jungkook must have let the other girl use my stuff. This tells us two things: first, that her instinct is always to assume her boundaries have been violated (because that is what she's used to—she grew up in an environment where people controlled and took from her). And second, that she equates her scent, her space, her things with ownership. She doesn't just use vanilla body wash. It's hers. And the idea of someone else using it? She doesn't even know why it bothers her, but it does.

Jungkook immediately clarifies that he told the other girl Nix's stuff was off-limits. That means that while he was actively sleeping with someone else, he still had the awareness to enforce Nix's boundaries. And not only that—this is a man who loves the vanilla scent on Nix. But he didn't want it on someone else. He is already subconsciously rejecting the idea of another girl smelling like her.

He went to sleep right after the other girl left. Because he was tired, sure. But also? Because he was waiting for Nix to come back. And he doesn't even realize it. They said 40 minutes. She took two hours. His brain registeredthat time lapse, even if he won't consciously acknowledge it. And he went to sleep because, well—men are dumb and sleeping makes time pass faster.

They keep doing things for each other without realizing it, but in ways that piss each other off. In Chapter 11, she made him coffee—but she made it wrong. In Chapter 12, he aired out the house for her and lit her candle—but that pissed her off. And that's where the push-pull of their relationship lives. They are already shifting for each other, adjusting to each other's preferences, but they refuse to acknowledge that that's what's happening.

Nix has a hard time recognizing when Jungkook does something nice for her. She assumes there are ulterior motives. So when she realizes he genuinely didn't have any, she deflects. That's why she just brushes it off like, whatever, don't use my candles. Because accepting that he actually considered her comfort means accepting that maybe she doesn't hate him as much as she claims.

Jungkook has been noticing her things. Not just the candles, but how much they cost. Her soap. The small details. He is being drawn to her world in ways he isn't even aware of.

The way he clarifies he "didn't eat her pussy, just fucked it"? WHEW. Tell me you think oral is more intimate than penetration without telling me. He's literally creating a hierarchy of intimacy and keeping certain acts just for Nix.

Notice how he never even mentions the other girl's name? She's literally forgettable to him. A placeholder. Meanwhile, he knows every detail about Nix—her candles, her coffee, her shower products, her boundaries.

His coffee machine is sacred. He does not let people mess with it. But instead of just making his own coffee and ignoring her, he went out of his way to teach her how to make it properly. And then? He made her one himself. A vanilla latte. Again with the vanilla.

Him stealing her vanilla coffee pods is symbolic af. He takes something of hers, breaks a boundary, but transforms it into something she actually enjoys. It's literally what he's doing with her emotional walls—pushing past them and making her like it.

He wanted her approval. He wanted to hear her say it was good.

The way Nix refuses to admit she likes the coffee? PEAK emotional constipation. Girl can't accept pleasure without guilt. Her parents really did a number on her—she enjoys things and immediately has to shit on them. The coffee. His touch. The dirty talk. She's literally fighting her own happiness.

The fact that she actually enjoyed it? That turned him on. Her pleasure, her approval—those things reassure him in ways he doesn't even recognize yet.

Him drinking from her mug? That's practically a love confession in Jungkook-speak. Sharing a drink is weirdly more intimate than the actual sex they're having. It's the casual intimacy for me.

She keeps noticing how WARM he is. And it's not random. She's emotionally cold. She has cold hands. She puts up cold barriers. And he's this walking furnace, radiating heat, melting her defenses without even trying.

He has been thinking about her since the morning. Saw her in those shorts. Got horny. Didn't act on it because they were running late. Then the day went on. It left his conscious mind—but it lingered in his subconscious. Because then he hooked up with someone else. And even though that was satisfying, the craving? The initial source of it? That was Nix.

And what happens the second she walks through the door in those shorts again? Immediate. Physical. Reaction. This is not just about attraction. This is fixation. He is drawn to her in ways he does not understand, in ways he will not let himself acknowledge.

The vanilla thing comes up so many times it's basically becoming their whole personality. But it's perfect because vanilla is supposed to be "basic," but between them, it's this complex, layered thing—just like their so-called "just physical" relationship.

Her complaining about his "sweaty balls" and manspreading? Classic deflection. It's not about his balls—it's about the fact that he's taking up space. In the apartment. In her life. In her HEAD. And she's freaking out.

"Make me" is literally their mating call at this point. It's how they give permission without actually having to say "yes, I want this." It's a challenge that's really an invitation, and they both know exactly what it means.

His hand lingering on her thigh during conversation? He's finding excuses to maintain contact even when they're not being sexual. He CRAVES the connection.

The dirty talk. He uses it with her constantly. Because it flusters her. Because she tells him to shut up. Because she fights it—and he loves that. Because even as she's trying to resist it, she reacts to him. And then? In Chapter 12? She finally slips. Finally gives a little back. And he loves it.

His favorite position is cowgirl. And he has been thinking about her in that position. Not just once, but for a while. This is something he has already considered, already wanted.

He keeps condoms in the living room. He never fucks in the living room. He always brings people to his room.But with Nix? He is prepared to fuck her anywhere. And he doesn't even recognize the significance of that.

She asks about the condoms. She needs control. Again, reinforcing this point.

He asks about the pill, but not in a pushy way. Doesn't even hesitate when she says she isn't on it. Just accepts it. No whining, no complaints. Condoms it is. (Reminder: most guys his age are not this mature about it.)

When he asks her to "grab those titties"? He wants her to PARTICIPATE. To be an active player. To show him she wants this as much as he does. He needs that reassurance.

Jungkook's obsession with watching her get wet? It's not just a kink. He needs PROOF. Tangible, undeniable evidence that yes, she wants him, yes, this is real. Her wetness is his reality check.

The moment when he stops staring at where they're connected and looks at her FACE instead? SO TELLING.

He calls her "Phee" during sex and it's like his special vulnerability nickname. He has all these variations of Phoenix, but THAT one comes out when his guard is down, when he's not performing. Same with ‘Ro’.

He likes hearing her moan. Not just because it's hot—but because it gives him validation. Reassurance. Her pleasure is his pleasure.

He fixates on her scent again. Literally mumbles about it without thinking.

He doesn't even rest after he finishes. Doesn't take a breather. Doesn't fully live in his own orgasm. He immediately flips her over and fingers her until she comes. Because he needs to see it. He needs proof.

The contrast between his sexual confidence and his emotional consideration? We've got a man who knows exactly what he's doing in bed but still cares deeply about consent, protection, and her enjoyment. The bar is in hell but he's in the stratosphere.

Mr. 'I Hate Emotional Intimacy' immediately collapses onto her. Just flops down, resting on top of her. He is literally hugging her without thinking about it. Literally breathing her in, about to fall asleep on her.

Notice how she says "get off" but doesn't actually push him away? That's their whole dynamic in a nutshell. Her mouth says no but her body says yes, and he's learning to trust her body more than her words.

How they go from fucking to immediately bickering about sex toys with zero awkwardness? That's comfortable intimacy. No post-sex weirdness, no rushing to separate, just natural interaction.

And what wakes him up? Her pleasure. The thought of toys for her. He wanted to try things with her. Wanted to experience something new with her specifically.

"You deserve to cum even when I'm not here"? This man is transcending his own ego. It's not just about him being the source of her pleasure anymore—he genuinely wants her to feel good, period.

Nix has never had sex toys before. She doesn't have to say why. But it's clear—it's because of her controlled, monitored upbringing.

Her saying her parents would "kill her" for having sex toys is so telling. Even miles away, they're still controlling her sexuality. And Jungkook immediately positioning himself as the antidote to that control? GROWTH.

And Jungkook's reaction? Nope. We are going sex toy shopping. He immediately wants her to explore, to enjoy herself, to experience more. He is actively thinking about her, choosing to prioritize her pleasure.

Him planning for sex toys means he's thinking LONG TERM. This isn't a one-time hookup in his mind. He's already planning for future encounters, future exploration, future pleasure—together.

Her insisting they're "fuck buddies, not friends"? Girl is DESPERATELY trying to categorize their relationship to keep everything under control. Control. Control. Control.

That final playful swat she gives him? That's affection disguised as annoyance. Her body language is already betraying her words. She's playing, she's engaging, she's comfortable.

The whole scene is a circle—starts with boundary issues, ends with boundary discussions. They're literally working through their trust and intimacy issues in real time, even if they don't realize it.

I could probably keep going.

And that, my friends, is just one chapter.

Do you see it now? Do you understand why I beg you to analyze? Every moment, every line, every subconscious detail is building toward something. It is happening slowly. Organically. Unconsciously.

And we are only just beginning.

[shadesoflsk]

Hi Ruby! I’m asking for #66 for the drabble game, a Leon x reader drabble, choose which ever Leon you want surprise me. Thank you hun 🩶🫶

hi nic !! I don't know why I had such a hard time deciding what I'd write for this one.😭 At first I thought I should write something fluffly but I had no ideas. But ultimately I decided to write something I've never done before so...... friends with benefits it is! This is angsty because I live for it hehe 😼 (Btw, I had damnation Leon in mind.) Thank care <333

66. “The only thing I want is you.” summary: fwb leon kennedy x gn reader, implied sexual settings but nothing explicit, angst, mentions of alcohol. wc: 1.0k

Generally speaking, time for Leon was borrowed. His stay on earth was merely a passing-through journey —or at least he thought so. Funnily enough, when he tried his best to stay stoic and indifferent to relationships, you appeared in his life. 

He wanted to compare you with the sun casting its light on a gloomy and depressive day. Yet, your whole existence was a thorn in his side, but he couldn’t blame you. As ridiculous as it sounds, the problem was him.

It all started as a simple friendship, you two shared things in common and therefore it helped to settle down into something deeper, but still nothing too intimate to get scared of. Ultimately, both of you found yourselves tangled in a friends with benefits relationship.

Rules were established and boundaries were set. Neither of you had any troubles when you decided to engage in this situationship. For him, it was a perfect opportunity to let off some steam, you were just one call away and he could lose himself in the warmth of your body and bed.

And you? Well, nights with him didn’t sound so bad.

Leon is a man of few words, you’ve always known that. At first, nights were spent with nothing more than grunts and moans that almost sounded like heavy whispers. Even the lights were turned off in an attempt not to see you as the light washed over his and your body. He was following the rules just fine.

However, the fine line between friendship and love started getting blurry and Leon couldn’t distinguish them. At first, you brushed it off as Leon simply forgetting the rules. After sex, one of you needed to leave the apartment —depending on where they were. To Leon, the act of sleeping next to someone was way more intimate than fucking. Weird, you thought. But then again, rules are rules.

Nevertheless, he started bending those rules as he wished. If you were more honest with him —more straightforward, you might have told him off when he asked you to stay longer. Just to chat, like friends do, right?

But you weren't.

As you lay there, exposed to the cold of his room with nothing more than a thin blanket to surround your body, he tells you about his missions and his wishes. Conversations that used to be so common when you were just friends, nothing more.

But now, everything was different and you couldn’t let him drown into something you didn’t want to involve yourself with. Besides, having a tipsy Leon who was letting his emotions flow so easily wasn’t something ideal. 

“Do you want some more wine? I could pour you so–”

“The only thing I want is you.”

There was no trace of his usual teasing and flirty tone he would use whenever you got in the mood. Behind the words he spoke, there were hidden years of solitude and yearning to feel loved. 

And those same blue orbs that hold so many memories of being a puppet lock with yours as he watches how your face falls for a second, before returning to your resting face.

“You don’t mean it.” You say with no ounce of doubt, asserting the fact that he shouldn’t have said that. Not now, not ever.

“Yes, I know what we decided but maybe we could just try and—”

“Leon, I’m not asking you nor bargaining a possibility. You don’t mean it.” There is no room for feelings or confessions at this very moment. Your words reach a conclusion before Leon can even form his thoughts. 

“That night we agreed to this. No feelings, no strings attached.” You reach for the clothes that were previously scattered, an obvious proof of what your agreement with Leon was. “I should’ve stopped the first time you asked me to stay longer.” 

Leon silently observes you as you quickly throw on your clothes and fix your hair. His heart aches knowing that he just dropped a bomb that was destined to detonate. And now, he’s just a bystander of your imminent leaving. 

And he knows that it’s selfish of him to even utter those words, he never deceived you nor did he want to. His statement couldn’t be more stupid, he was the mastermind of this dynamic but he was the first one to fall. 

“Look at me.” You break the silence as you stand in front of him, he has remained seated on the bed as you were getting ready to leave. And now even looking at you brings him a wave of embarrassment and a hint of humiliation. 

“You’re amazing. I’m glad to call you a friend even if we just… yeah.” You sigh in frustration as you predict this may as well be the last time you can be genuine with him. After his attempt at confessing, you don’t know how you can fix the relationship. Having sex was something, falling in love was out of the picture.

“But neither of us is ready for a relationship.” You grant him a gentle touch, brushing away a strand of hair that fell on his forehead. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t even know if he will survive whenever he goes on missions.”

The knife that was already stabbed into his heart twisted and sank deeper. And when it bled, he thought he deserved it. He fell into the spiderweb of emotions and love but he couldn’t escape from this evident ending. You wouldn’t —even if you reciprocate his feelings— be in a relationship with him.

“Sorry…” You too are players of the same game. And, as it ends, there was no point in following the rules. So, you lean closer and place a kiss on his forehead, letting your lips linger there for a few seconds as if trying to memorize how it feels.

Ironically, you had shared many nights losing each other in the name of stress relief. Nonetheless, the gentleness of this one kiss brings a hint of intimacy that has your soul hurting as you pull away.

And swiftly as a draught of air, you disappear from his room and from his sight. In a state of dullness, he accepts his destiny. Loneliness, once again, fills his heart and body.

[the-perfect-wagnerite-again]

I have a categorical imperative question. I read some Kant in undergrad but do not retain much. My question is; does the categorical imperative account for specificities? As in, is lying, for example, acceptable under specific circumstances because under those circumstances the most ethic action would always be lying (say by omission)?Or is it more of a blanket concept, such that even though I feel it’s the right thing to (more or less) lie and tell an acutely dying man that he will “be alright”, and that this is the correct action under this circumstance, is it still morally wrong because I am lying?

Not sure if this illustrates what I mean properly. Would love an explanation to scaffold my meagre understanding. Please recommend any useful Kant texts that you’d consider readable for someone undergoing intensive study in an entirely separate discipline, too (I mean that I don’t have a whole lot of time to dedicate to personal reading). I’d love to learn more but have some difficulty knowing where to start.

The short answer is: no, the moral law is immutable and absolute.

The thing to understand about Kantian deontology, and the thing that gives most people the most trouble with accepting it, is that it makes absolutely zero room for conditionals. Kant was not trying to derive moral rules based on sentiment or hypotheticals, he wanted to derive a moral LAW from the principles of his metaphysical system. A law is universal, regardless of circumstance.

It's difficult to explain why this moral law is such without getting into the specifics of Kantian metaphysics, because the two are deeply interconnected, but I can give a few brief comments to summarize Kant's first Critique:

We live in a phenomenal reality full of objects that we perceive and cognize through our rational faculties (this is the world of science and matter).

Our capacity to understand this world is predicated on the subjective unity of our self-consciousness (Kant called this the fundamental unity of apperception). If we had no self-awareness, and no awareness of our self-awareness, we would have no knowledge of the world.

The Self, therefore, is simultaneously an object in the world (we interact with other people every day) and a subject transcendental TO the world (you are not the object of your own experience - you are the vector through which experience is possible).

This becomes more clear as we consider freedom and free will, which directly contradicts the deterministic laws of nature upon which science is possible. We are both determined objects of nature AND self-determined subjects of free will. This contradiction cannot be rationalized away, because it extends beyond the limits of our cognition, and yet we still know it to be the case.

This leaves the Self as the isolated viewpoint of experience. When we try to experience the Self, we simply shift our perspective, in much the same way that we cannot isolate the boundaries of our field of vision without changing it. The question of morality then becomes: what is the way in which I should interface with the Other, that which is the "Not Me" but still possesses that same agency and self-determination as Me?

This cannot be a conditional hypothetical, because those change with the tastes of the person and their desires. Anybody can determine arbitrary rules of conduct (and indeed, the constantly evolving landscape of moral norms proves this), but it's something quite different to derive a moral law that is universally applicable in all cases. This is the categorical imperative, which has three formulations:

Act in such a way that the maxim of your action (the will informing it) should be established as a universal law.

Treat other rational beings (including yourself) always as ends in themselves, and never as means only.

From the following two, it follows that the will of every rational being must be regarded as though it were a universally legislating will.

The end result of this is an almost common-sensical notion of fairness and justice, a sentiment we all know personally when we are honest about our interpersonal relationships. The "golden rule," as we call it, has had a nearly permanent presence in the moral discourses of all sufficiently civilized societies throughout recorded human history specifically for this reason. When we lie or cheat or steal, we know it to be wrong on a level more fundamental than arbitrary rules or regulations of society: we are violating an imperative that impels us to act with the same sense of duty to others that we would expect from them. This is why even white lies feel "off," because in the process of sparing our interlocutor the pain of the truth, we are denying them their right to full agency as a rational subject. We treat them as a means instead of as an end in themselves. The autonomous will, the truly moral agent, therefore consists of the agent that identifies the moral law within themselves and intentionally acts in accordance to it by virtue of their freedom. Willing oneself to obey the moral law IS freedom, because in doing so we release ourselves from the cage of desires, appetites, and incentives that would otherwise inform and inhibit our practical reason.

Obviously this is a prescriptive system and not a descriptive one, because human beings do not behave in this way. We are fallen creatures, we lie and cheat and steal where we can afford it, and we make excuses to rationalize our own moral failures in the face of scrutiny. But in that rationalization, we vindicate the categorical imperative, because it is only when we know we have violated it that we feel compelled to make excuses for ourselves (I only lied because X, I cheated because I deserve Y, if Z didn't happen then I wouldn't have to steal, etc).

As for readings on Kant, I advise you stay away from Kant himself. His work is an incredibly complex analysis of thought, and that makes it impenetrable for those who lack either the means or time to commit to him. Instead, I offer these recommendations to introductory texts on Kant, which are sadly insufficient as a substitute but good as a supplement:

"Kant and German Idealism," from The Story of Philosophy, by Will Durant (audio version available on youtube, highly recommended)

Kant: A Very Short Introduction, by Roger Scruton

Introductory Lectures by Dan Robinson, a personal hero of mine, found on youtube or here:

Let me know if you have any more questions, I absolutely love talking about this stuff

[mdhwrites]

how do you know a character is too far gone to be redeemed? I know it's partially based on the work itself and what rules it establishes, for one work blowing up planets is something you can work hard on redeeming yourself from and another will have small scale bullying be considered murder and how much we sympathize with the character committing the acts but I know it's more complicated than that. How far is too far?

So you essentially pointed out the problem with even asking this question. Whether a redemption works or not is entirely context dependent, even down to the person viewing it. Like if one person believes in excuses X, Y, and Z for redemptions but another only believes in A, B, and C then these two people are going to have vastly different opinions on what too far is. One might be that any murderer is irredeemable. One might make it that you cannot be redeemed if you kill innocents. Another might have it be that it's only once you do it with malice.

So... What does an author do about this? Well for me, I think the question is less "What line is crossed where they can't be redeemed?" and more "Where is the line where I'm writing someone who is nuanced to someone who is a caricature for this setting?" So long as evil is not all they are, redemption to someone is likely to be possible and you can breadcrumb the way to that redemption. Once you have someone who kicks a child over, takes their candy and lights them on fire while gleefully laughing, you have probably dropped any pretense. Even Unikitty, a show who's boundaries are almost non-existent, has Master Frown still do mostly things that are annoying instead of actively cruel so that he is still redeemable because genuine cruelty might be where that's starting to go too far, even as he laughs in glee at making people, well... Frown.

In a romantic story, it'd be the moment when a character fakes the fact that one of the love interests is cheating on the other because they are doing something anyone would know is wrong and would only be done by someone with zero human empathy. In a martial art's movie, it's the asshole who pulls a gun during what is supposed to be a fair fight. It's the mafia stooge who targets family. Stuff that any sane, normal human being would feel revulsion at even the act of doing it... They do it without caring. If they feel remorse, are pressured to do it, etc. like that, or even did it long ago but have changed since then, they can still be redeemed but when you have them, in the present, without a second thought, perform actions that anyone would tell them they're a monster for... Yeah, no one in your setting is going to let them be redeemed short of a heroic sacrifice.

Because that last line is the important one. What can a character get away with before the people in the setting themselves would consider them some sort of monster? Because your story is playing by its own setting, logic and ideals and so the irredeemable characters in that story have to actively go against those, not just our modern ideas of right and wrong because, you know... Fiction. It's not our world.

And as a writer, that's what you need to focus on. If you want to redeem a character, you have to make it so that whatever they did CAN be forgiven in story. The act they commit to try and make up for what they did before has to somehow be equal or even bigger than what they did previously. This is also why there is a point at which death is the only way for them to make up for what they did because they have been so horrendous by the rules of the story that only the ultimate sacrifice can even attempt to balance the scales.

So long story short: Don't worry about what your audience will find acceptable. Remember that for a redemption to work, it must be believable in universe and that will shift between stories, or even between chapters, and that that's what's important. Those are the people the character wronged after all, not the reader. See you next tale.

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