#in a way to make him feel bad it's like. how you'd accuse your lover of being flirty with someone else

[gregoftom]

oh tom :(

[friedpaolo]

As silly as it may sound, do you have any headcanons for Mr.Chopped?

Mr. Chopped.. such a sweet little guy. <3

Synopsis: general headcanons for Mr. Chopped.

Mr. Chopped is a very clingy creature. In the scenario where you're his lover or someone that he feels comfortable around then prepare to have a serious arm workout because he becomes whiny and persistent about being carried around with you 24/7. He'll complain when you attempt sit him down. His lips curling into a unsatisfactory frown when he feels a hard surface or anything that isn't your arms or hands. "No! Pick up, pick up!" He'll demand, but not in the way where you feel threatened if you don't pick him up. But if you don't then just expect a very petulant response when you finally do pick him back up.

Mr. Chopped loves physical affection. Oh, he becomes the happiest little creature in the world when you show affection towards him. He eats it all up. Kisses, nuzzling. You gave him a bunny kiss once and he hasn't been the same since. Now whenever you see him, he looks at you so expectantly. He'll get especially jealous if he sees you do it to anyone else and will pout about it, claiming that he doesn't want you to pick him up but he's lying and you both know that. Then if you leave him, he accuses you of leaving him when you return. Like, my brother in christ make up your mind, it's the only part of your body that's connected to you!

Mr. Chopped who hates when you go without him or hasn't come to visit him in a while. By a while, the estimate is 2 hours at the most. He highly finds himself attracted to those that help him or aren't hostile towards him. So he undoubtedly begs Mr. Silvair to bring him to to you or find you. He feels a bit bad that it's a hassle for Mr. Silvair in the scenario where you're whereabouts are unknown. But he just really wants to see you and know that another monster hasn't swallowed you whole. "There!" He'll exclaim when he sees you in the distance. It happens so often that it reminds you of ordering food and meeting the delivery man on the porch. Although you're not upset, how can you be when Chopped is practically vibrating from the excitement of being your hands again.

Mr. Chopped loves having his hair styled. It becomes clear when he asks you to take him to see the hair dresser. He loves when you sit his head down on your lap and mess with his hair. Braid it into a single lose braid, comb it, put it in a little bun. The feeling of your fingers combing through his hair relaxes him a lot and he'll request it whenever he's feeling anxious or terrified. Like if another monster captures him and you manage to get him back, it soothes him. Doesn't let you dye his hair, he prefers to keep his orange locks but will ask you to cut it. "Cut!" He'll tell you, you barely even snip anything off before he declares. "Much better!" Like?? a lock of hair the size of a pencil shaving was cut and he claims he's feeling lighter.

Mr. Chopped who probably scares you whenever he uses his hand. Like, the way it would just appear out of nowhere. Sometimes by itself. He has no sense of "what if I scare them?" The mount of times you'd freaked out when you felt something take ahold of your ankle only to realize it's Chopped's way of saying that he wants you to come to him is actually terrific and you have to remind yourself that it's your companion's hand so you don't kick it away or crush it with your crowbar. When he realizes that he'd scared you, he feels very bad and does apologize for it. He doesn't stop, but that makes it more difficult to get your attention when he Mr. Silvair refuses to carry him to you.

11/18/2024 © Friedpaolo. please do not translate, modify or repost any of my work on any platform, or claim any of it as your own.

[judasgot-it]

Friends to Lovers

"I've been in love with you for years now, thanks for noticing dumbass."

Scenario: You literally do not get the hint. Jouno nearly wants to beat you to death because of this, but unfortunately for him, he likes you.

2.5 K words

For the last few years, your life had been relatively simple. Despite having an 'exciting' job, you were stuck doing the same shit basically every day until you died.

Work out, have monthly surgeries, question criminals in completely legal ways with government oversight, and investigate and capture terrorists. Maybe kill them, since you were a completely legal government entity and were allowed to do that.

Same shit as always. It was a rinse and repeat, the only difference was how and where you did it. But it was going to stay the same - something you were going to do until you died.

Just like how your love life had stayed the same - hopeless and stale.

No one could really blame you, now could they? You had a crush on the same coworker for years, and it seemed like you'd get over it when you died.

So basically never.

It sucked.

You wanted to cry sometimes, thinking about how much you liked your coworker's stupid face.

Everyone said he was an asshole, and yes - he was. But not to you.

Saigiku let you call him by his first name, and was nice enough to give you the homemade lunch he couldn't eat. No one was convinced on how good of a cook he was, but that was fine - you were ok with not sharing what Saigiku gave you.

If he was here, you would be able to compliment him and see how red his face gets. It hurt how much of you smiled at the thought, how embarrassed he is that someone liked his cooking.

"Thinking about Jouno again?"

Tachihara looked bored, watching you as if he was observing a bird on a telephone wire.

You swallowed, tasting the onigiri in your mouth. God, Saigiku was a really good cook.

"How'd you know?"

"You're always thinking about him. It's embarrassing." Teruko glared two holes through you; as if you had tried to touch Fukuchi in some way.

"What? No I don't." Maybe just a little bit.

"Right. And who gave you that?"

Tachihara walked closer and inspected the bento box you'd been consuming for the last ten minutes. You tried to shield it from his gaze, feeling as if his eyes were going to melt it.

"Why does it matter?"

"Jouno doesn't give me homemade lunch."

"He almost let me starve once. I'm the vice-captain, and he let me starve! So why is he giving you his lunch?"

Teruko reached her fingers around your body and snatched some rice, not caring if she made a mess as she shoved it in her mouth. Like a sticky, copper-smelling child, she chewed out loud, making sure you heard her crime.

You cringed a little, while Tachihara tried not to gag as he watched her lick her fingers loudly. She really was twelve years old.

"Well it's just because he didn't want it to go bad, that's it. Doesn't mean anything."

It was something you kept telling yourself everytime he did something sweet to you - that it could mean anything, and most likely it meant nothing. Saigiku was a strange man, and he wasn't likely the type to go around and show his feelings so blatantly.

Right?

"He once threw his drink at me."

Tecchou finally spoke up. He looked like he was bored, despite recounting one of the many common war stories that was interacting with Saigiku when he was upset - which was always, when it came to Tecchou.

"I don't think he would have offered it to you anyway, Tecchou. No offense, but that's just yours and Saigiku's relationship..."

"That's another thing! You call him by his first name! It's like you're his girlfriend or something."

Teruko was laying on the punches, nearly spitting in your face as she throughout her accusations. It made you want to hide - he would never like the idea, and you would rather die than lose what you two currently had. It was the closest you could get to being anything like that anyway, so you wouldn't want to ruin it by overstepping a boundary like that.

"We're just close!"

"So close that you have sex together."

That made you nearly choke. Tecchou didn't even bat an eye, instead staring at the floor as he continued his pushups on the meeting room floor.

"We do not have sex together. What made you think that?"

This was it. You were going to die, and it was from choking caused by sheer embarrassment. Where was Saigiku when you needed him?

"Then why were you moaning in his office yesterday?"

"I was showing him how women fake orgasms. Like a good friend does."

The conversation was fresh in your mind - he was saying that he had never had a woman fake an orgasm, of course, you had to prove how easy it was to fake it. It had you both on the floor in laughter, because it was a little ridiculous; even if a part of you wished that it was real.

Hiding those thoughts from him was a little difficult, but it was easy when you hid it under the gauze of laughter.

"That's not a normal friend conversation..."

"We're just that close."

That might have been your favorite part of being with Saigiku. Even if you would never be with him, you could always have him in that close bond.

You were close. That was it. Close, like friends.

-

"Y/n."

Saigiku's voice was deeper than it usually was - either because he was tired, or because the phone distorted his voice to a deeper pitch. Maybe a mix of both.

"Saigiku. How are you?"

"Dying. That mission was awful, I don't know why Fukuchi would make me do it alone."

"I wish I could have gone with you-"

"You would have died. Literally. I would rather it be me than you." His voice was so serious, you wish you could slap it out of him. Or kiss.

"Shut up! You don't know that."

"I do. You need a big strong man to protect you, considering how you can't even walk with your own two feet."

"I only tripped one time, dickhead. Also, sexism isn't a cute look on you."

You could hear how he huffed with laughter. He must have been dead on his feet - he could last so much longer when he bantered with you. The man had petty insults on you for days, saved up for the most random conversations between the two of you. This call could have lasted hours.

"Y/n. I'm coming over to yours. It's closer to the train station."

"This is the warning you're giving me? I'm in my pajamas, you know?"

"I'd rather have you in nothing at all."

And what the hell do you say to that? A noise came out of your throat, but there weren't words to accompany it. You were left there standing by your kitchen table, where you'd left your phone to charge, when Saigiku had waved his temporary goodbyes.

He said those kinds of things, and it was impossible to know if it was a joke or genuine.

It left you a little nervous, cleaning up your apartment for his arrival. You weren't messy, per say - but compared to him, you were a disaster.

Saigiku was a man who kept his apartment organized with mathematical precision. Even with the job he had, the dishes were clean and the laundry was always folded. He owned exactly fourteen pairs of everything, so he could keep his clothes in a perfect dry clean laundry rotation.

He was a bit of a psychopath, in that aspect.

You, on the other hand, looked like a mess. God forbid you had clean laundry that wasn't ironed to perfection. Maybe you were a little messy - eating off of paper plates once and a while, and leaving soap residue around your bathroom.

The man never failed to notice, and he would gladly make it a spat between the two of you. Sometimes you left it messy on purpose, just to see him fold your laundry and do your dishes - domesticating Saigiku was a funny sight, especially when he was still arguing with you.

But tonight he was tired. Maybe in the morning, you could force him to make you breakfast.

Right now? You'd give him the peace of mind of having clean dishes to eat off of.

Because you were a good friend, you had to remind yourself.

There was nothing to the feeling of seeing him behind your front door. His warm smile meant nothing, and neither did the hug he gave only to you in moments like these.

The extra long second between the two of you, where he swayed his feet and put his nose against your hair - it was nothing special, because you were just two close friends greeting each other after a bad day of work.

If Saigiku had looked at you with his eyes, he probably wouldn't have shown you anything special in there either. Ignoring the feeling in your body at every touch had become second nature, because you knew that he felt nothing for you.

He only lingered because he cared about you. Nothing more.

-

"Did you have sex with Jouno finally?"

"Why would you think that?"

Tachihara merely stared at you - he looked exhausted, as if you had told him the same unfunny joke for three years straight.

To be fair, even you were sick of your pining. It was stale and old, to be after the same man with no results.

"You walked in with him today?"

"That's because he slept over at my place. He's done that a lot - nothing special."

The ginger looked at you as if you had grown two heads, but really, it was nothing new, and he knew that. Letting a man like Saigiku spend a night at your place?

There was always something to it. You were lying to yourself, but you didn't want to break the charade and hurt yourself.

"Is it?"

"He doesn't like me."

"Don't say that-"

"He doesn't. Trust me, if he did, I would have noticed already."

Last night you had fallen asleep on top of him, and neither of you had said anything. You had stayed like that for maybe a minute, or possibly ten - nothing was said about heartbeat, and nothing was said about how your hands were in places they didn't belong.

He had gotten up, and woken you up with breakfast; like a disgruntled housewife. No other man in your life had ever done that for you, but you weren't going to let yourself think it meant anything special.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." The doubt that sat in your stomach was dutifully ignored as you went back to your work, trying to focus on it.

The feeling went to the back of your mind once again. It didn't even exist, really; as long as Saigiku wasn't there or in the conversation, you could ignore those pesky little feelings practically forever.

"Are you thinking about me?"

The blood in your body practically burst as you felt two hands wrap themselves around your shoulders. It was a gentle hold, firm as they squeezed through your uniform.

They were familiar and warm, reminding you of the feeling from last night. It was relieving to feel it there again, even if it was embarrassing to know how much you truly missed it.

"Always am, Saigiku. Always am."

There was hacking from across the room, but you ignored it as you leaned against the man behind you, hitting his chest with the back of your head gently.

"You should be. I've never stopped thinking about you."

"Really?"

"Always on my mind. You're like a disease."

Despite his words, his voice sounded gentle, as if he were speaking through cotton and silk.

"What kind of disease?" Once again, you were trying to swallow the disappointment that built up inside of your chest - you loved him, but you were delusional to think that he would love you back. He was just teasing.

"The stupid kind that I love."

"I'm not stupid! Asshole!" You reached up to slap him, stopping just short of his face. He grabbed your wrists, entangling your arms with yours and swaying your body together as he shook his head.

"Yeah, you are."

"Am not."

"Y/n. I love you."

Saigiku's face was close to yours, and you could feel how he smelled your hair like the freak he was.

I love you?

"Fucking hell don't make me repeat it. Isn't it obvious?"

"Oh...I love you too?" You almost wanted to cry, because what the fuck was going on. It was hard to even let yourself think in the moment, because the man was taking up your space and was saying words you wanted to hear-

This couldn't be real. Maybe you were under attack, because this felt too good to be true.

"Not as a friend. I mean in the 'I want to go back home with you' kind of way."

"We already do that." You didn't know why you said that - you were waiting for his face to twist into a grimace, or for an annoyed groan to sound. But instead, he kept a smile on there, waiting patiently.

"Get the point. I want to kiss you. And do the other things boring couples do."

"...Oh."

You spun your chair around to face him properly. There was the chance to breathe again, without smelling his fancy cologne and the smell of fireworks on his uniform.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

The man before you sighed. It was a low whine, a sound you never expected to hear from him.

"I did tell you. I've been telling you every day. You just don't notice anything. Seriously, do you think I would wake up and make breakfast for just anyone?"

Saigiku leaned in close as he said this, his lips close enough to yours that you could see how smooth they were.

Reaching your hand up, you brought it to his face, carefully tracing lines across his smooth skin.

"Sorry."

Pulling him in closer felt embarassing - it was something you had imagined, but having him in your hands right there had your limbs nearly falling apart.

You expected a kiss, like your fantasies; but instead, his arms wrapped around you in a tight hug, dragging you up from your chair like a cat and up into his arms, standing with him. Your legs felt weak, and there was an embarrassed feeling creeping up as you pressed your body weight against his.

"You should be sorry. I thought you were doing it on purpose."

"And if I was?"

"Then maybe I'll let you go. Seriously, why can't you stand?"

He was swaying the both of you gently, his arms locked firmly against your waist and holding you gently. His body was warm and smelled like him, protecting you from the AC and the overwhelming smell of the building.

"Because I fell for you, Saigiku."

"Yeah, I'm dropping you."

Despite this, he held you for longer than was socially acceptable.

This was for my valentine's event, remember that? remember how i have an event? that im supposed to be writing for? haha me neither.....yeaaaa me neither.

sorry to the people who requested. im slow as helllllllll. also you can still request by the way haha

[strawberry-cowmilk]

i NEED mc being upset that Mammon constantly wants to hide that he likes them! Like y r u ashamed of me? U want me to love u and only spend time with u and not pay attention to any one, but every instance u could have to prove that u love me u fold? Mc who DOES love him back but isn't willing to be treated like an embarrassment/burden??? I neeed this 🥺

hi anon! I really like this idea! I hope I do this right, enjoy!

be honest

-> mammon x mc

mc's gender is not mentioned, not proof read

content warnings: fighting

-----

Every day Mammon brags about being your 'first man' to his brothers. Every day he gets jealous any of them sit next to you at dinner. One time, Levi accused him of being 'absolutely smitten' with you and like usual, Mammon started avoiding any eye contact, his body language turning more reserved while denying Levi's statement. At first it was sweet right? Having such an energetic, confident demon turn all shy the second it's clear he loves you. It honestly made you like him back more too. But, it's been years. Years of Mammon clearly having a crush on you to the point the average person passing by on the street could tell but denying it in the least subtle way possible. You know, maybe he doesn't want to commit to you. Is it because you're a human? Is Mammon afraid of what others may think of him when he starts dating a human?

You finally had enough during game night with Mammon, Levi and Beel. In the game you were playing, you needed to be in teams of two. Beel and Levi were one team, leaving you with Mammon. Levi was joking about how Mammon kept using every healing item he got on you, while Beel nodded silently in agreement Of course, the second brother made up a silly excuse like 'Mc has lower health' or 'it was an accident.' The more he kept fighting Levi on this, the more annoyed you got to the point of going to your room early this game night.

Of course Mammon went right after you, calling your name until you finally turned around. The confusion, anger and sadness in your expression was clear to him. Before he could ask what was going on, you kind of blurted out how awful you have grown to feel about his 'I don't love Mc' act. You told him to just drop the act if you're so enbarrassing to date and reject you properly. It would hurt, but not as bad as the constant denial. Like just be honest, Mammon!

Mammon however did not see this coming. He feels awful for making you feel this way, especially since he really didn't mean to. You must really hate him now, no way you'd agree to be his lover, right? He apologised to you. 'I, well, it's my own issue' he explained. It's not you he's ashamed of, it's his own way of acting. But now is not the time for shame, you want him to be honest.

Mammon confessed to you. It was not how he imagined it to be, over a candlelit dinner with roses, but in front of your bedroom door after a fight. 'I'm sorry I hurt you, Mc.. I'd still like a relationship, you know, if that's alright.' Clearly embarrassed and afraid, Mammon looked down at his shoes until you gently touched his arm. Despite everything, despite still being mad at him, you still love him back.

[sigyn-foxyposts]

What your myth! Loki ship says about you:

⚠ Just a heads up! I am doing this for fun and to see if I understand our community right! I'm by no means trying to hate on anyone who actually ship these things! Ships have just..always been so interesting to me, and I thought it would be fun. Did I forget someone? Please let me know! ^^

Loki + Sigyn = You can't get over how tragic yet passionate their love is. After all it's the only thing we have of them together and somehow it makes the message of loyalty and compassion between lovers even stronger.

Loki + Angrboda = Either you're here for the tragedy that was their love, what could've been if only Odin didn't take away their children.. or you love the tall witch wife and small gremlin husband dynamic (me too :3)

Angrboda + Loki + Sigyn = You're tired of seeing the wives being pinned up against each other, heck it isn't even cannon to the mythology. You just want to see them all happy together while kissing. They deserve their polycule!

Loki + Gullveig = You don't actually ship them but if they had a relationship, it would be something along the lines of: one night stand parents trying to do what's best for their baby. Or you think Gullveig is actually Angrboda! 👍✨

Loki + Glut = You thought Loki and Logi were the same person. Now you either regret it and feel bad for believing in it or stick by it wholeheartedly. 🔥

Loki + Hoenir = Want to kiss your homies good night? Friends to lovers is your thing or you're there for the possible angst of letting a young lover go because it was never meant to be. 😔

Loki + Odin = You thought they could go deeper than being just blood brothers, didn't you? Ohh..the angst and pain you put yourself through for them.

Loki + Heimdall = You're torn between the fact they don't actually have to hate each other vs the way they clearly have a love/hate relationship + obvious tension. If they ever fought in front of you, you'd probably shout inappropriate things at them. 🤨

Loki + Svadilfari = You try everything In your power to forget what really happened between these two and tried to fix the story for the better..💀

Loki + Thor = Let me guess, the reason you like this is because of Marvel? If not you have a thing for the bratty twinks and their giant straight boyfriends that haven't realized he is bisexual yet.

Loki + Baldr = You either stand by the headcannona that Loki killed Baldr because he loves him (one-sided or not) and tried to protect him from Ragnarok. Or you have the "I hate straight people so I'll force these two to date even though they don't go well together." mentality. No, there isn't anything in between for you. 😭

Loki + Hodr = For some reason you just had to see the potential angst between these two! You love the dramatic storytelling of being betrayed by your lover, making you do their dirty work! You poor being, what happened? 💔

Loki + Sif = Possible exses? Secret affair? You live for the drama and desperately want to know what happened between these two.

Loki + (potential) farmer man = You wish we had more good representation of Loki being with a another man. (I agree!) So when Odin accused Loki of being a milkmaid and having children, it opend a whole new world to inspire you!

Loki + Skadi = The lokasenna was enough for you to decide they totally dated in the past. Also you love spiteful exses that will threaten to kill your children if they don't shut up…😨(spoiler: Loki didn't shut up)

Loki + Zisa = I don't know why you'd ship them If their "affair child" was supposed to be a secret but I guess you're into the drama. Anyways Zisa isn't real..she can't hurt me. 😌

[itsonlyfanservice]

https://www.tumblr.com/itsonlyfanservice/761751957725691904/i-noticed-one-very-interesting-detail-and-i-want?source=share

I wanna like, comment on and reblog your post so bad, but I'll keep this anonymous because I don't want people seeing my blog (being a lurker is the best thing for me right now, I don't wanna disturb my peace by inviting drama). Anyway I just wanna say you are 100% correct. It's always been this way. I noticed this very early when I was new to the fandom and I wasn't even Jimin biased (I was drawn to JK's personality because it reminded me so much of my own and I was intrigued by the person he becomes every time he's near Jimin)

This fandom has just never liked Jimin receiving any kind of praise or being acknowledged for his talents or his beautiful personality, and I don't know why. You can just never praise Jimin without people coming at you with some "well x member is better, x member also does this, x member did that too". Even when you come across a BTS video from an OT7 page that highlights Jimin, the comments section will be riddled with praises for other members: "omg but can we please talk about Tae here" "JHope's jawline tho" "Nah it's JK for me" (and these comments will have hundreds to thousands of likes with the ones that praise Jimin barely going over 50 most of the time, and I'm not even kidding)

The thing is I wouldn't be bothered at all by the member praise, I'd just brush it as ARMYs being weird and OT7ifying anything BTS as always. And there's nothing wrong with noticing other members in a video. But the problem is that it only happens with Jimin. Other members receive praise and almost all the comments agree and add to it, but Jimin gets praised and it's like they try to shift the focus. When I was baby ARMY, I felt like I was walking on eggshells regarding Jimin all the time and that whenever I praised him, I had to make sure I insert something about another member too just to create "balance" and not be called an anti, because somehow that's how ARMYs made you feel if you liked Jimin (I felt the same way as a Jikooker, by the way. I couldn't hype their bond without feeling the need to mention their bonds with other members because then I'd be labelled a delulu joker , even though at the time what they had was just a beautiful friendship in my eyes. I feel like the two go hand in hand; being a Jikooker and a Jimin lover idk)

And then there's the thing with establishing anyone who shows special attention towards him persona non grata. Once someone with a huge following (like the YT reactors, big accounts on X) says Jimin is their bias, ARMYs will immediately start watching them like a hawk, waiting for any opportunity to take their words, twist them and accuse them of being diet/undercover Jimin solos. Other members, especially JK, also grab attention from those people like Jimin does, but you'll NEVER see ARMYs giving them grief or calling them JK solos and BTS antis just for praising something about JK the way they do with Jimin biased people.

I can't tell you how many times I've had to see Jimin-biased defend themselves and reiterate that they are not solos and antis of BTS but just like the fcking dude, to getting their accounts suspended because they got mass reported. Just recently a new ARMY dad called ARMYs out for harrassing him just for always pointing out how impressed he is with Jimin and even said "I thought there was such a thing as a bias in this fandom and that most fans have one, so why is it suddenly a problem for me to have one?"

And yes, they do treat Jimin's fans like the scum of the earth, especially his solos. Solos are scum indeed but there's just this weird reaction to PJMs in general that the fandom has as a whole compared to other solos, when the other members' solos, especially Jungkook's, are exceedingly diabolical. You'd think PJMs are the ones who've been harrassing a member for years, always trying to frame him for any and every scandal under the sun, harrassed his family members and managed to get to them by successfully involving the media, prompting them to delete posts about their own son, creating fake accounts and news articles about how his success is manufactured and that his fans are streaming his music through fraudulent means, set the Korean Ministry of Defense on him in hopes that he'll be outed and his life will be ruined.

All of this, for me, has long proven that ARMYs (not all, of course, but a very large majority) just do not like Jimin. For what reason, I don't know. But there's always been this subtle vibe like they don't really consider him a member of BTS. Maybe it's less about dislike and just more about indifference. It's how people have been treating the Jimin hate like it's just another Tuesday.

Responses to it being "just ignore the weirdos/they are just jealous of Jimin/block and move on, it's not worth your time", to people expressing genuine outrage and effectively working to have accounts taken down immediately when the hate is about another member. I used to think Twitter was just a shit app that doesn't really utilize the report button, until I saw just how perfectly fine it works when it's about a BTS member who's not Jimin.

It's how people were so appalled last year and wrote long-winded posts about how PJMs are the absolute scourge of the earth for saying Jungkook slept with BangPD for all that "payola" with Seven, when for literal YEARS before 2023 (as early as 2016) it was JIMIN who was receiving these same allegations from Taekookers and Jungkook solos about how he's been sleeping with the boss for success DAILY, calling him a nepo baby. During FACE era, posts from JJKs were going around talking about they bet he let each and every producer there c*m in him for those Like Crazy remixes.

I'm not at all condoning any hate towards the other members, nor do I believe that tit for tat is the way to go about things. But it really fills my heart with such bitterness seeing how ARMYs never move against the hate Jimin faces beyond writing a half-assed "the hate against Jimin is so forced" comment and calling it a day. But when it's about someone else they come with full defense, calling out PJMs by their name (when they NEVER call other solos out by their name, by the way) and effectively drive them off any platform. Why can't it be the same about all solos and every person who writes a single bad word about BTS?

Anyway this got unnecessarily long. I had a lot more to say but it has escaped my mind, thankfully. I broke my own heart all over again by writing this.

Damn, you literally said everything I wanted to write, but I was just too lazy and thought no one would read it 😩

I am very surprised by this attitude. Jimin is superfluous in the group, his fans are superfluous in the fandom. Everyone can talk about everyone, but not about Jimin. And I don’t even understand where this demonstrative ignoring came from. You can’t throw it off to the general tkkrs here. Absolutely everyone does this, no matter what bias they have, which is strange.

[celestialanon]

Brothers With a Trans Male Lover

Hello dear readers! So for this post, it’s obviously aimed for a specific audience! It was definitely self indulgent, and I hope I can provide something nice and some comfort to my fellow trans male readers! Please do enjoy this set <3

Lucifer

When he had first met you, he misgendered you on accident. You had politely explained to him that you were a male, and he honestly didn't question it, immediately apologizing to you and fixing his words. It wasn't until you both had gotten closer that you felt the need to explain when he found a binder of yours laying on your bed after laundry day.

He wasn't too surprised. Not that he fully understood what being trans meant, but he had seen a few demons express themselves in such a way that went against the gender norms, and he wondered briefly if maybe they were trans as well without knowing it. While he had many questions, he decided to leave them for another time in favor of telling you that he sees no problem with it and that he has looked at you as the man you were since the day you corrected him.

He often offers to help clean your binders by hand so they don't get ruined otherwise, as well as reminds you when to take it off if it's gotten too late. He wants to make sure you aren't harming yourself any. He always encouraged you to at least give yourself a breather when you were in his room, as he would not see you any differently with or without your binder on.

There was one memorable day you shared, you had overheard a few nosy demons murmuring about you in the hall. Harsh words that you've heard before, but words that stung just a bit more when Lucifer's name got thrown in the conversation. A new fear came along with the already existing dread of your identity: what did it look like to stand beside Lucifer like this?

He had noticed you unfocused at his desk, staring at your assignment and mindlessly messing with the pen in your hand. He went over and placed a hand at your shoulder, watching your face twist in discomfort. Your words fell out of your mouth before you could stop them.

"Aren't you embarrassed being with someone like me?" Lucifer had froze above you, looking down at you with shock.

"Wouldn't it be better for you to be with a real man, or woman. I-I'm not not ruining your image, am I?" Your voice had become small, and he could hear the strain in it as you clearly forced yourself to stay composed. He merely shook his head, getting to your level before pulling you in a tight hug against his chest.

"You are a real man, my dear. I feel nothing but pride when having you by my side." He brushed the short strands of hair at your ear, leaning in close so you could hear him better.

"Never doubt yourself over such thoughts again, I've never wanted anyone as I've wanted you."

Mammon

At first, he honestly thought you were into cross dressing. Not that he really cared, he's seen his brother do it before, so it wasn't a big deal if that was the case. And you pulled it off quite well! But he soon realized he was wrong when you gave him a glare at his accusations, explaining that you were actually transgender. The poor guy, had absolutely no idea what you meant. He was given a detailed explanation by Lucifer, and was instructed to apologize to you immediately.

He found you sitting alone, gathering your things while awkwardly coming to greet you. Being the mess that he was, his apology was all over the place, but you couldn't help but smile at his words. A jumbled mess of "I-I didn't know you were a dude, my bad!" Leading to "I don't care what ya are, why do I gotta babysit?!" You fell into place beside him quickly after, forgetting your initial annoyance with him.

Now, he got defensive whenever someone threw out the wrong word. You'd be the one to tell him it wasn't a big deal, but he'll never forget the look you gave him when he got it wrong. Although he can't relate to you, he's not stupid enough to not notice how much it affects you. How could he not notice? The way you stare at your body in every passing mirror, the way your voice flattens when it sounds a bit high compared to everyone else, even the way he caught you once on your bedroom floor, sorting your clothes as tears stained your sad red eyes.

He quickly made his way to you, shutting your bedroom door behind him and crouching on the floor to meet your face. Your eyes flickered up to his, before turning back down as you quickly wiped at your nose. You couldn't possibly feign this while he was sat right in front of you. You had the urge to bury your face into shirt you were currently folding.

"Why? What happened?" He asked, and when you ignored his question, he released your grip from the shirt and peered closer at you.

"I said, what happened. Don't ignore me." The stern tone in his voice was not one you heard often. It caused more tears to fall down your cheeks.

"N-None of this looks good on me... I'm t-tired of looking this way..." You wiped at your eyes, trying to ignore the way your voice broke and how high it was. Mammon wasn't the best at comforting, but if there was one thing he hated, it was seeing you cry. Absolutely soul crushing. He pat his hands onto his knees, beginning to pull you up with him by your arms.

"Alright, I got the problem. New clothes, right?" When you stared at him with bewilderment, he just smiled. He used the bare skin of the back of his hand to wipe under eyes, pinching your cheeks to stop your frown.

"What? If you don't like any of my clothes I'll buy ya some new stuff. So stop cryin' already, babe. Please..." He made sure the tears stopped before your shopping date.

Leviathan

Levi knew the minute you told him that you were trans. He has heard the term before somewhere on the internet, and immediately accepted you and treated you respectfully. He even asked you to be his "Henry", and started comparing you to more male characters that reminded him of you to see you smile. If you were having a bad dysphoria day, it was cuddles on the beanbag all day wrapped up in one of his large Ruri hoodies.

Levi was someone who seemed to be very comfortable with his masculinity, and you noticed this through his cosplays and behavior at times. If you expressed how much you wanted to be comfortable with yourself in the same way, he would help you by taking it slow. He invites you to get your nails painted with Asmo, to cosplay a female with him (mainly Ruri), or even shows you how to main females in the various games he plays. He never forgets to remind you that he never sees you as less of a man when you do so.

On a particularly bad day, you stood right in front of his bathroom mirror, eyeing the curves on your body as you covered your chest with a towel. You couldn't hide the sadness in your frown, just looking at your body sometimes made you feel sick. There was a light knock at the door, and you invited Levi to join you inside. He went red at first glance, but his surprise faltered when he noticed the look on your face.

"M-Mc? What's wrong?" He stood a small distance from you, not wanting to invade your privacy. You shrugged your shoulders, looking down at the binding tape on the counter and clutching the towel more tightly.

"Just stared at my chest too long again, no biggie...." There was a small silence, but you soon felt a nervous pair of arms embrace you from behind, pulling you flush against Levi's chest. In moments like these, where you felt the worst about yourself, he managed to find ways to make you feel otherwise.

"I can help... with the tape." He started, his chin resting atop your head. You could see the unwavering blush on his cheeks as he looked back at you in the mirror.

"O-Only if you want me too! I can leave if not." The tight hold at your waist told you he really didn't want to leave, nor did you mind. In fact, you felt it was a rather sweet gesture. And you trusted Levi more than anyone.

"Yeah, I want you to." So he did just that, listening to your instructions on how to properly wrap your chest, his gaze avoiding yours as much as it could. You wanted to laugh, he was clearly a bit embarrassed, but he was trying his best. When he was done, he asked if it was too tight for you, but he actually managed to wrap it quite snug.

"Thanks, sweetheart." You gave him a kiss in thanks on the lips, and that stupid smile of his that made your heart flutter appeared. It's hard to feel so bad about yourself when he looks at you that way, so full of love.

Satan

Satan had actually learned the term in a book he read. He was quite fascinated with the character and learning their internal struggles, so the first thing he felt for you when you told him was concern. He often asked what made you comfortable and what didn't, and adjusted himself so. He made sure everyone else did the same, at least among his brothers, and payed close attention to any other demons surrounding you. He was the first to correct anyone to misgender you and always apologized on everyone else's behalf.

When you two had gotten much closer, you sat him down and explained that it was okay for him to be less serious on the subject. That you were able to handle yourself against the words of lesser demons. You considered yourself to be quite confident, and he truly admired you for such. So he did as you asked, giving you some air and watching as you held your own against any gossip or awkward stares. It was child's play to you, you didn't care how anyone saw you, as long as you knew who you were yourself.

Like his brother, he would compare you to male characters he really likes. You two often make small jokes with each other, like saying "I guess that makes you gay now." It was an automatic joke, and you shut your mouth after saying it in fear that it would rub him the wrong way. To your surprise though, he just laughed. His smile was wide as he turned the next page of his current book, his light chuckles fading.

"Yeah, I suppose it does, doesn't it?" That's weird. You had previously very rarely ever felt self conscious beside Satan, but for some reason, that joke had you freeze up in your spot. You felt yourself become nervous, rubbing your palms onto your pants to wipe away oncoming sweat. Your eyes met Satan's, worry flashing as you gave him a small smile.

"S-Sorry! I was kidding, just a stupid joke...." To save from humiliation, you picked up a nearby book, trying to forget what had just happened. Why did you feel that way? Was there secretly a part of you that believed Satan didn't love you as much as he said he did? Because you were a trans man? Was that the problem? Girls were never a problem before, but would he have preferred one? How could you just say he was gay now, even if you were joking? Well, there goes your mind again, thinking a mile per minute.

Satan had long already set down his book, turning to you as you personally crushed your spirit into pieces. You were clearly paying no attention to the book in your hands. He tried calling your name a few times, and when that didn't work, he pulled the book out of your hands, finally gaining your attention.

"Love? Why the sudden look? Did I say something wrong?" Your heart sank at his worried expression. You told him not worry himself over you numerous times, but he still did...

"N-No, I'm sorry. I'm the one who said something wrong, I shouldn't have joked like that. You probably felt uncomfortable." Word vomit, multiple apologies, and Satan was trying to wrap his head around what you had said. That uncertain look in your eyes was not one he'd seen often. He carefully grabbed your hands with both of his, giving you all of his attention.

"Mc, I don't feel any discomfort from your joke. Rather, I thought it was fairly accurate..." When you didn't respond to him, a few things began to click into place. He couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, caressing his thumb into the knuckles of your fingers.

"You're a very handsome man Mc, and I feel lucky to be the one you want by your side. I believe that since we are both males, that constitutes for a homosexual relationship, does it not?" There he goes again, pulling out the specifics. You couldn't help but laugh at his serious demeanor. How could you worry yourself so much over a joke like this?

"Yeah, I guess that does make you pretty gay."

Asmodeus

Not only has Asmo learned what being trans meant from Solomon, but he had met many demons that expressed themselves as such as well. It was simple knowledge to him, so he didn't bat an eye when you explained yourself to him. He apologized swiftly before correcting himself and changing absolutely nothing with his advances towards you.

Getting close to Asmo was rather easy, and before long you two had become an item. And truly, it was hard to be insecure about yourself around Asmo. He praised your body like it was a well built sculpture, said your voice was close to heavenly and reminded him of the angels that used to sing to him. Your skin was as smooth as silk sheets and he just wants to sink into it until- well, you get the idea. The compliments were never on hold.

But you did manage to get a bit in the dumps when his small groups of fans came into the picture. They were primarily made up of women, unsurprisingly. That may have been what stung you the most. Deep down you knew Asmo probably didn't have a solid preference, but you wondered if he'd rather have imagined himself with a woman.

You were checking yourself in the mirror, you had slipped on something a little more on the feminine side. It was something from Asmo's closet, and you couldn't help but cringe. You wanted so badly to like it, maybe he would like it too. But instead you just felt miserable.

Asmo had entered the room with his loud greeting, quickly spotting you in the corner as you went stiff in your spot. He eyes you up and down, gasping in small surprise. Your shoulders hung low, and you could feel yourself getting smaller.

"I-Is it weird?" The look on your face showed that you didn't like it, and Asmo immediately caught on to the fact. He went in front of you to place his fingers at your chin, frowning at your frustration.

"Hon, if you don't like it that much, why did you put it on?" You couldn't look away, as he sternly kept you in place, looking at him. When you sighed in defeat, you began moving to undress.

"I don't know. I thought you would probably like this look on me more...."

"Oh no- Mc why would you think that?" He helped you remove your arms through the sleeves, setting the top aside before turning his attention back to you.

"I'm a little afraid.... That you might not like me because of who I am?" You spoke quietly, and he studied your features for a minute.

"Because you're not a girl?" You nodded stiffly, he placed a kiss between the furrow of your brows, pulling back with a small smile.

"I don't care what you are hon, I love you dearly." He gave you another kiss, on the lips this time.

"But please, you are much more sexy in your own clothes rather than mine." At this point, you should have known how head over heels he was for your masculine look. Maybe someday you'd get it.

Beelzebub

Beel had actually believed you were cis from the beginning. Sure, maybe your voice was a bit higher, your height much smaller than the rest of them, and your build not as big. But you passed very well, and he didn't think anything of it, because some guys were just built like that. So he was rather surprised when you explained that you were trans.

He was definitely confused, and had many questions on the matter. He asked why it had to be that way? Why weren't you able to change to the gender you wanted to be? And why did people make such a big deal out of it? At the end of the day, he reminded you that he saw you for what you were, another man surrounded by demon men. Lucky you.

He was extremely supportive when you needed him to be, offering snacks to cheer you up on the bad days, bringing you to his workout sessions if you wanted to gain some muscle. You had excitedly run up to him one day, exclaiming how happy you were to be able to get testosterone.

Of course, you had to explain what that was too. But when he saw the big smile on your face, he couldn't help but cheer along with you. You had asked him in private if he would be willing to help you with your shots, to which he immediately agreed to. But when it came down to it, he was awfully nervous of hurting you. You watched as he shakily brought the needle up to your skin.

"It won't hurt you too bad, right?" He asked, hesitant to make another move. You laughed, giving him a reassuring nod.

"It won't hurt, and it will make me happy when I'm done." You patted your thigh in urgency, and his face cringed. He carefully injected the needle into your thigh, making sure to give it a wipe when he was finished. He looked up at you hurriedly in case of any discomfort. He was relieved to find you completely fine.

"Mc... Don't you get tired of having to do all these things?" He's seen it all with you. The mornings you struggled to slip on your binder, the days you had to correct someone for addressing you the wrong way, he even accompanied you to get your hair cut when it grew too long for your liking.

He truly wondered why you had to try so hard to be yourself, and he felt sad for you. He had rested his hands over your thighs, a defeated look on his features as he thought more about it. You shook your head, cupping his face and getting him to look back up at you.

"I do, but I have to do these things to be comfortable in my own skin." He leaned into your touch, almost placing a kiss at your hand.

"You know you never have to feel uncomfortable around me, right?" Oh, how kind he was...

"Of course I know that."

Belphegor

When he first met you, he was just as clueless as his twin. Except he ended up misgendering you, but offered a simple apology when you corrected him. Maybe you just appeared more on the feminine side, that’s his bad. But then you started explaining all these things about being trans, and he apologized saying he didn’t quite understand.

Not that he didn’t accept you or anything, he just didn’t understand the feeling of not feeling at home in your own skin. He didn’t really get it for a minute, but then he noticed how much you look at yourself. How hard you try to present yourself confidently when you were next to them. How much you had to correct people when they misgendered you.

It started to become frustrating to him. Why did you always have to explain yourself? Couldn’t they see you were just another guy? Was it really that hard to tell? In his eyes you weren’t any different from the rest of them, maybe just a little shorter though…

When he noticed you explaining to another demon classmate of yours, he hurried to your side and started dragging you away by the hand. Your complaints fell on deaf ears, his face twisted in annoyance as he looked back at the demon.

“Belphie? What’s gotten into you?” You managed to tug free before you reached his bedroom door, he turned to you with pouting mug.

“Aren’t you mad?” You looked at him dumbfounded, unsure of how to respond.

“They ask you the same questions everyday. It’s annoying, right? You can get mad.” He crossed his arms at you, waiting for a response. You nervously held onto your arm, surprised at his small outburst. You gave him a smile that you were sure wasn’t all too convincing.

“I-I’m not that mad. I can’t blame others for not understanding, right?” He deadpanned at you, grabbing onto your wrist again and pulling you inside his room. He shut the door with a slam.

“You’re too nice, Mc.” You shrugged at his words, because maybe he was right about that. You could admit to yourself you were a bit annoyed, but there was a good handful of people who understood you too. It wasn’t all bad.

“Just so you know, you can always tell me if you do get mad, or something….” You smiled, letting him lead you to his bed.

“Yeah.”

“…And you’ll never have to explain stuff like that to me either….”

“….Yeah.” Belphie was not the best with words, but you still cherished what he said. You pulled him into a tight hug, whispering a small thanks into his shoulder.

[dearhargrove]

Chapter Three: Lover's Lake

summary: When someone new joins, jealousy as well as some more chaos ensues. Including Will giving someone his hoodie.

tw's: none

word count: 1,312

a/n: yall this took timeee. Like too much. I think it'll be pretty boring so I apologize in advance. Since imma be quite busy with school all week I've got no idea whether I'll keep writing this or if I'm only going to continue this next week. Sorry for everyone who's actually waiting for this <3! Also it's not specified that they're at Lovers Lake and I just got the idea while making the title so just imagine it as that :D.

masterlist

series masterlist

Before you and Will got lost in each other's presence, Dustin swam over while yelling something about Mike nearly drowning him. 

You snorted and waited for some type of explanation but all you felt was someone staring at you. 

Confused, you turned your head to the side. At the rocks where all of your bags and stuff were, stood a girl with red braided hair. And wow. She's beautiful. Blue eyes, full lips, everything. She's basically perfect. 

You felt Will take his hand out of yours and swim away while yelling in the direction of the girl. She wore a smile on her face as the group's attention fell on her. 

Maybe she was Max? That friend they were waiting for? 

Oh God, let's hope this won't be too awkward. You thought, also swimming to where she was standing - as well as the rest of the party by now. 

-

Well. She was very nice, you noted after a few minutes in her presence. She bickered with Dustin especially, the rest telling her about their experiences here so far. El seemed the most excited, telling Max about her friends. 

How she didn't mention the bullying and the other bad things was beyond you. 

You had introduced yourself quickly before her attention was caught by one of the boys again. You didn't dislike her. But seeing Will's complete attention on her was kinda, well, discouraging. You just held his hand but that was it. 

Maybe you thought too much about what happened between you and him until now. You gulp, a shiver running down your back at the slight wind blowing now. 

Afternoon was approaching and everyone began eating their snacks. You didn't bring anything, as you didn't expect for this to last so long - not that you minded. 

You noticed movement on the side, where the forest started. You'd been there a thousand times before so you weren't scared of it but whatever it was caught your interest. You stand up and make your way into the forest, no one notices your departure. 

The uneven floor and the small sticks were pricking into the soles of your bare feet. It's really getting colder now, came to your mind as the wind picked up a little and the sky seemed to close up. 

You could just go back, but where would be the fun in that? After all, everyone else was occupied.

Except that that's where you're wrong. Totally, utterly wrong. Will had his attention on you basically at all times, so when he realized you standing up he got confused. Where were you going? 

He let it go because what if you had to, like, pee? He didn't want to seem stalkerish so he just let you go, though there was a bit of a bad feeling in the back of his mind. 

He was used to that kind of feeling because it never ceases to remind him of the Mind Flayer of who he'd been a host to before. He shook his head and tried going back to paying attention to the ongoing conversation. 

"So," Max started, a smirk on her face, "Will. I heard you've got a girlfriend now?" Oh my God. Of course she'd bring this up. The boy just groaned and scowled at El who was laughing. 

"He's so whipped for her!" Dustin calls out while pointing an accusing finger at his friend. "He's close to being worse than Mike and El. And I've only seen him around her for one day." Lucas exclaimed. 

"She's not my girlfriend, guys." Will finally groaned, catching Max watching the boys make fun of him, obviously quite happy with what she'd caused. 

"Wait, wait, wait," Dustin says, the attention on him. Will is already expecting the next bad joke about you and him but instead Dustin looks serious for once. "Where even is she? Like, I saw her leave a few minutes ago but if she had to, take care of business she'd be back by now." Everyone shut up, realizing that Dustin had a valid concern and was right about you being away for too long now. 

"Alright she's probably just walking around or something." Mike proposed before getting up and dusting his behind off. "Let's just go look for her before Will dies from worrying." he snickers, already reaching for Eleven's hand to take. 

Will just scowls at him but also gets up and looks around with squinted eyes. The sky had darkened visibly by now. "I think it's gonna rain, or there's like a huge thunderstorm right around the corner." Max said and pointed at the wall of dark, gray clouds in the sky. 

"Okay, let's search for her and then get going so we won't get in the middle of the bad weather." Lucas proposed. 

While everyone started their way to find you, Will rummaged through his backpack for a short while, soon finding what he was searching for - a zip up hoodie he had taken just in case.

You stopped on your spot, only now realizing how far you had wandered off. "Shit." you curse, looking around. You hope the others weren't worrying or something. Well. You knew Will was busy looking at someone anyway so he would be the last one to notice you missing. 

Discouraged, you sit down on a wood log and look around with a hand on your chin. 

Hearing voices nearing you turn in the direction they were coming from. "Y/n?" someone calls your name and you whip your head to the direction. What the fuck? 

The least you expected was Will coming out of the tree line, a zip up hoodie slung over his arm. When he saw you a smile crept on his face and he jogged over to you. "Uh, I freaked out a bit when you didn't return and now everyone's searching for you," he mumbled, an embarrassed look on his face. 

He was the one to start searching for you? That… felt kinda good. Knowing he worried so much he made everyone help finding you was somehow really nice to know.

"Thank you, Will." you smile softly, looking around before leaning forward and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. 

You have no idea what's gotten into you, for you to do this, but he didn't seem to mind. You get up abruptly, not wanting to make it awkward. "Alright, let's get to the others." Will nods, still caught off guard at your bold move just seconds ago. 

He didn't think you knew the effect you had on him and the fact he was very much losing his mind over the kiss on his cheek. He got up after you and followed right behind you, his eyes on the way your hair moved while you walked. Oh- right. "y/n?" he asked, coming to walk next to you. 

You hum, acknowledging him. "I just thought, uh… maybe you'd be cold so I brought you the hoodie. Not like-you don't have to wear it! Only if you want to! I mean- I just wanted to tell you." he rambled and you giggled. He's just so fucking cute, how did he manage to do that? 

"Thanks," you smile, head tilting to look at him more clearly. He drapes the cloth over your shoulders and you smile at the affectionate action. Lord, if he continues like this you might as well fall in love with him… 

-

When the group sees you returning, they just grin knowingly, their backs already on their bags - ready to go. 

Will looks at them in a warning way, as if to say "Don't you dare make weird comments about this.". 

Mike just laughed and sat down on his bike. While you were getting ready to go the rain slowly started coming down. 

Let's just say you hadn't managed to escape the rain. At all. 

[thedandelion-writer]

❝sleeping habbits, mondstadt edition❞

Pairings: Diluc x reader, Mona x reader, Kaeya x reader, Jean x reader

A/N: There we go, part 2! Also a modern au :)

<- Liyue edition

Diluc hardly ever sleeps deeply

Some days, he'd even wake at the slightest sound

He feels the most vulnerable when asleep, thus the hyperawareness

You snort and thinks it's funny. Relax Diluc, no one's going to murder you in your sleep!

Right..?

On the days where you would come into bed after he was already turned in, you had to tiptoe around as if you were afraid of disturbing a baby. Even your breathing was silent.

The amount of sound that would wake him up varied. But you weren't sure if today was especially bad, as in footsteps could wake him up bad, or if it was mild, as in even the rustling of the covers would be okay.

It was all going well so far. You've slipped into sleepwear and was just about to settle in, mentally congratulating yourself. But maybe you thought you were in the clear too soon, because as soon as your weight hit the bed, it creaked.

You cringed inwardly, slapping a hand over your eyes as Diluc stirred.

"Don't wake up, love," you skirted over. "It's really late."

"It is really late." Was that an accusing tone you heard?

"Hehe...I was just finishing up some work." You quickly slipped underneath the sheets, body instantly enveloped in warmth. "I'm sorry for waking you."

Diluc shook his head before pulling you in closer.

"It's better with you here," he said. "I wouldn't mind staying up all night to wait."

Or maybe it wasn't the so called assassins who might come to him in the night that he feared. Maybe it was because he was afraid that he wouldn't see you again the next time he awoke.

Diluc doesn't really have a set time in which he'd go to bed

But he goes in relatively early because he also wakes up, relatively early

He was used to sleeping alone for the longest time, but now you've come and spoiled him

It just doesn't feel the same without you next to him anymore

Mona is the type of person who'd keep all her astrology books, trinkets, etc on her bed

Just splayed out and messy because she fell asleep whilst using them last night. And the night before...and the night before that

Never bothered to cleaning it up because it'll end up messy again anyway!

Sometimes you'd roll onto your back and ouch--there'd be a mini telescope or something

"Oww," you groaned, a pain stabbing at your side.

The culprit? It was unsurprisingly yet another one of Mona's astrologer's stuff. What the heck was this even called?

After plucking out the round, metal offender to place on the windowsill, you look over to your sleeping lover.

"Well at least someone's getting a good night sleep," you grumbled.

Somehow Mona always found a way to avoid all the nonsense she laid scattered on your shared bed. You always supported her passions, but this is getting out of hand.

As if sensing someone was talking (or in this case, thinking) about her, Mona stretched a little and curled up tighter into herself. You sighed softly to yourself, not being able to be annoyed for long.

You cleaned up the best you could (even though you already did that before turning in), and laid back down beside her. You'd have to make sure Mona would pay you for the troubles she's caused you tonight. And you only accept payment in cuddles!

The bed has to be beside a window. Always.

If the skies are clear and starry you best believe she'd be staring at them, talking about the things she loved most (other than you of course- ) until the both of you drift off

The girl's a night owl so you have to be able to put up with late night tinkering

Also--awful awful bedhead

But don't ever say it to her face, you will get hit by a pillow (or worse!!)

The guy has absolutely no regard for how freaking cold he keeps his room

It's an eternal winter in there, even when it's blazing hot outside

Worst part? He doesn't even have a proper blanket. That, sir, is a rectangular piece of cloth

If you like the cold? Then sure, let him keep it that way. If not, you would have to make some changes around here.

"You should've told me you lived in a fridge??" You said, half jokingly through chattered teeth.

"You don't like it sweetheart?" He faked hurt, sauntering up behind you to grasp your shoulders as if you were newlyweds inspecting a new house to move into.

"Uhh well, there's literal frost on the edges of your window. And it's not even winter, Kaeya, clearly I'll be a popsicle by morning!"

It was your first night staying with him. And in your head, it was going to be all romantic like you've seen in the novels and shows. Warm cuddles, kisses underneath the blankets (oh my gods that blanket is paper thin), legs and arms entwined and you'd wake up like that.

But archons be damned, this was not what you had imagined.

"You'd make a very good looking popsicle then, love," he had the nerve to laugh so you elbowed him in the ribs.

"Alright alright, I'll make it warmer for you, how does that sound?"

"And I want a new blanket."

"Consider it done," he ruffled your hair to press a kiss onto the crown of your head.

Anything to please his darling.

He also sleep talks

And it's the funniest shit you'll ever hear if you're awake to hear it

One time you recorded it and now you use it as blackmail, threatening to send it to Diluc every time he'd get too cheeky

Her sleeping schedule is messed. up.

Jean would never admit it, but she loses a lot of rest time due to her work

You keep telling her to please get more than 2 and a half hours of shut-eye per day, but she is stubborn as she is lovely

Which worries you a heck of a lot, obviously

Doesn't help the fact that this woman can sleep anywhere. On a chair sitting down, face on a desk, on the bus, against you, the list goes on

Sometimes, when she's worked herself to the limit, you'll find her asleep at the most bizarre of places

Funny story! One time, Jean fell asleep on the train on the way home and missed all her stops

You had to find her in the middle of nowhere

"Darling-" you hurried to embrace your tired looking lover as she ambled her way out of the station.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry you had to come get me in the middle of the night," Jean murmured into the crook of your neck. "I must have worried you too...I apologise."

You held your tongue at all the things you piled up to say on the drive here, but the scolding could wait until tomorrow. Right now, looking at her exhausted complexion, you couldn't bring yourself to tell her anything other than everything's alright, she can rest now.

Jean looked at you with eyes full of appreciation and affection, eyes that never failed to melt you like ice cream on the summer pavement.

Aside from that, she likes to keep the bedroom very neat

If she does sleep in the bed, Jean would constantly put your comfort over hers

You need some warm milk in the middle of the night? She's on it!!

Your pillows feel uncomfortable? Take hers!!

Oh dear you've accidentally rolled too much into her side? It's no problem, she can just move over to yours

Good morning kisses are her thing

But usually she gives it to you because she's almost always out of it first

[its-not-a-phase-mom-i-d8-demons]

"Are you just using me for my body?" feat. Asmodeus

pairing: Asmodeus x Female!Reader

warnings: mentions of smut, distrust, mentions of cheating

A/N: this got REALLy emotional...

Being the Avatar of Lust and all, Asmodeus couldn't help but have desires outside his absolute adoration of you and you alone; other than himself that is.

He was so sweet all the time, never once forced you to do anything with him, and waited patiently until you knew you were ready.

You loved Asmodeus with your whole heart and had confidence that he wouldn't cheat on you.

Asmodeus was many things, but a liar was not one of them.

Until now, it had been especially hard to keep a steady relationship with his desires rampant and constantly filling up his mind. Ever since he started to get to know you and realize his feelings for you, he stopped sleeping around as much until it came to a complete halt.

He really wanted to be with you, he realized, and he'd give up anything if only it meant he could spend every minute you were here with him.

Here you were, completely in tune and comfortable with each other, but come comments from demons at school today had flooded you with doubt.

You hated yourself for mistrusting your best friend and boyfriend, especially after working so hard to get where you are.

That thought alone makes you burst into tears.

Asmo, who was snuggling happily against your chest, had noticed something off about you and decided against asking if you wanted to fuck. He simply pulled you into bed with him, shared a kiss with you, and planted his face on your pillowy chest, hands caressing your sides oh so gently.

You were so pretty...

What was he going to do with you?

He should see what was the matter.

Maybe it was a test coming up, or an unfinished homework assignment, possibly a teacher being rude to you again, but worrying causes wrinkles! With or without them you would continue to be divine, but still!

At that moment, he heard a choked sob slip past your lips.

Worried, he regrettably peeled himself off of you and saw that you were hiccupping into your hand, trying to stop yourself from crying and making a mess of yourself and Asmo's bed.

"Oh, sweetie..." Asmo murmured, pulling you into his lap, "You can go ahead and cry, don't hold it in like this!"

With his permission, you start crying like a baby into his shoulder.

He held your head, pressing kisses to your temple and rocking you gently from side to side.

"Oh, baby..." He whispers, patting your back, "You have to tell me when you're feeling bad... Don't bottle everything up."

You sob an 'I'm sorry', but Asmodeus wouldn't hear it.

"Don't you dare apologize for crying. I'm right here for you, always. Okay?"

That only made you cry harder.

'Worried' could describe Asmo when he first gathered you into his arms. 'Panicking' is how the demon was feeling when you refused to stop sobbing into his shoulder.

Something was seriously wrong and he needed to get to the bottom of it before it became difficult for you to breathe and you got even more panicked.

"Baby, hey, look at me sweetheart," He murmurs, lifting your head up to face him, "You've gotta stop crying, okay? Can you try and calm down for me? I know you can do it, just take deep breaths for me, kay?"

You wiped your eyes on your sleeves way too harshly for his liking, and he grasped your wrists and put them in your lap.

"Inhale with me, come on sweets, you can do it."

You try to inhale, but your lips trembles and you can't help but let out another sob or two, covering your face in your hand, muttering apologies and trembling.

Asmodeus tried again, pulling your hands down and holding his face in his hands, showing you how to take deep breaths and holding your gaze and refusing to let it go.

"Yes, good job!" He smiled rubbing your lower back when you began mimicking his example, "I knew you could do it, hey, don't stop yet honey, you're really wound up..."

You pull your eyes away from his with great effort as it was unbearable to stare into those earnest sunset eyes any longer.

You were repulsed at the thoughts clouding your mind.

How could you call yourself a good girlfriend? You were terrible really, doubting the man you called your boyfriend and lover the moment the shadow of jealousy turned into a rumor.

You apologized again, gripping his hand tightly.

"What did I say?" He says gently, patting your thigh, "No apologies for showing emotion. Got it?"

You nod mutely.

"Asmo?"

"Yes baby?"

"Are you... Are you just using me for my body?"

You felt him stiffen.

Tears flooded your eyes again, dripping into your lap before you could stop them.

Asmo opened his mouth, then shut it again.

Of... Of course, he wasn't... He didn't need anyone else, only you.

Why didn't you trust him?

All these months of bonding behind closed doors, Asmodeus fighting his sin so vehemently he forgot who 'Asmodeus' really was, and hours upon hours of just thinking about how beautiful you were and that you deserved better than him. He had just begun to believe that maybe, just maybe he was worthy of your limitless affection, but it was not so.

You... You never trusted him in the first place, did you?

"A-Asmo I know what you're thinking and I'm sorry-"

"No apologies." He whispered airily, eyes locked on a singular rose, one of many that had wound their way up the bedpost.

The response was empty of emotion, as was Asmodeus's face.

"Oh Asmo, you've always been so good to me. I know you'd never cheat on me after going through so much pain-"

"Who said it?"

"Wha-"

"WHO SAID IT?" Asmodeus had flashed into his demon form, angry tears spilling from his eyes as he stood in front of you, exuding rage, hatred, and most of all, despair.

Out of everything he was feeling at the moment, none of those potent emotions were aimed at you.

"YOU'RE TOO PERFECT TO COME UP WITH THAT IDEA ON YOUR OWN." He screeched, "YOU KNOW I'D NEVER BETRAY ANYONE I LOVE, WHAT DEMON IS SPREADING BULLSHIT ABOUT ME AND COSTING ME YOUR TRUST?"

You were terrified, staring up at the enraged demon, tears soaking your cheeks once again, "Asmo, please! Calm down! You're above them!"

Mascara tears lined his cheeks, and he was just about to shout something else at you, but the door to his room was suddenly blown off its hinges, giving way to six more demons with their horns out, Lucifer in the lead.

He looked absolutely livid, especially after seeing the state you were in.

Asmodeus had the nerve to shout at you? Under any circumstance?

Not in the least.

"Stop this at once, Asmodeus!" He growled, standing his ground in front of you, "Any reason you have to be angry at MC can be taken up to me! Control yourself!"

"Lucifer stop!" You plead, "Don't yell at him like that-"

"Quiet, MC." He hissed, "You need to get out of here. He's too high-strung at the moment. He needs to be alone."

The larger demon grabbed you by the arm and started pulling you out of the room, but you fought against him, punching and crying and yelling at him to let go.

Mammon tried to step in and explain that Lucifer was "jus' tryna keep ya safe!" but you weren't having it and slugged him in the nose.

He screeched as blood started pouring out of his face, Lucifer loosened his grip when he heard his brother in pain he hadn't caused and you managed to tug your limb away from him and rush to your boyfriend who had collapsed onto the floor, face in his hands and sobbing.

His wings and horns were gone, but you wouldn't have cared either way as you tackled him in a hug and refused to let go.

Asmodeus latched onto you as well, and the brothers knew there was nothing they could do about it.

Lucifer pulled Mammon away to fix his bloody and possibly broken nose, and the others stood at the ready outside the door in case something else went wrong.

For a long time, you and the Avatar of Lust simply lay in each other's arms and cried.

It felt good to comfort and be comforted.

After a few hours, both of you were dried up, holding hands and staring sadly at the ceiling.

Asmodeus spoke first.

"Do you... Do you really think I've been using you for your beautiful body all this time? I'm not accusing you of anything, I need to know."

His voice was hoarse and quiet; tentative almost.

"I never thought that, Asmodeus. I the human world, there were some bad guys I was with and I guess I was prepared to accept it if you were. You've changed vastly since I first met you and you're nothing like those swine up there." You whispered, squeezing his hand before turning to look at him, "It was a stressful week and then, on top of that, I heard some demons talking about you so I stopped to listen. They were saying such terrible things about you; how you cheat on me every chance you got, you're just using me as an exotic fleshlight, and shit like that. We... We haven't had sex in a while so I just wondered if you'd gotten tired of me. Then, when we were cuddling, I just couldn't push those thoughts out of my head and I couldn't stop myself from crying..."

Asmodeus nursed at his lower lip, scooting closer to you, suddenly cold.

"I could never grow tired of you, MC. You have and continue to inspire me to be better for you and myself. I actually..." He giggled sweetly, resting his forehead against your own, "I was gonna ask if you wanted to bang when you first came into my room. Sex really is the answer to everything, isn't it?"

You smile and shake your head, "Not now though, you need some dinner and some rest."

He pouts cutely, ticking your sides, but he knows you're right.

You snatch his hands away from you and kiss his knuckles, "I never meant to make you think of yourself any less, because you really are perfect, Asmo. No one has ever tried to make me happy like you do and willingly spent all of this time with me. You make me feel so loved... I don't know how to thank you. I just want you to know that I love you."

He's literally glowing at your words, wrapping you tightly in his arms and whispering, "I love you too MC. More than I could possibly say."

--

July 7th: TWO. MORE. DAYS!!! (for us VIP members)

could you imagine being loved that much?? holy FUCK. is my giant single pringle ass showing? is it too obvious I'm lonely?

the shit I write... it surprises ME sometimes

Countdown Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[umiarumi]

fucking three houses | lorenz hellman gloucester

the whole reason i wrote this collection was because of an inside joke. "wouldnt slut shaming lorenz be funny?"

The resounding tune of the clock striking noon echoed around the monastery, prompting you to perk up from your studies. Usually, you studied in solitude. As outgoing as your allies made you, you always held onto that ease and pleasure being alone supplied you. With how lust-induced your recent activities had been, a little peace and quiet would do you some well-deserved good.

You shut the book regarding tactics your professor had recommended you. The soft shuffles of former students leaving the library and hushed chatter reverberated around the room and halls. Of course, you were at war but there's always time to get better at what you do. You chuckled at the thought of some grizzled lady wielding a sword studying. Well, that is you after all!

Sliding the book back in its respective shelf, you hummed as you remembered Tomas. From what you gathered, the Tomas that the faculty knew was replaced. Unfortunate, but unsurprising knowing the enemies working behind the scenes.

You shifted your thoughts to your upcoming mission. Some scouting mission from the empire detected commotion in Garreg Mach. You huffed at the thought. Of course, you'd expect Edelgard to retaliate but damn, that was quick.

You shook your head, well, it was tea time! Noon meant the yard would be filled with people gossiping and sipping alike, the hobby so ingrained in them that they retained it through the war.

You walked past Seteth, nodding to him. He nodded back, cracking a soft smile. You'd rarely see that emotion! You giddily laughed as he turned the corner, pleased to see he was loosening up.

Walking down the stairs, you passed a rushing Lysithea who didn't even recognise you. You grinned, shaking your head. Always in a rush, that girl! Or, well, woman. She'd like that better.

Sauntering, you caught a glimpse of a certain purple and ginger-headed duo bickering. "Lee! Lorenz! Whatever is wrong, my dear friends?" You cheered, slinging your arms around the two. Leonie raised a brow at you, grinning, seemingly relieved at your arrival. Lorenz, on the other hand, froze up. "Although you may have connections to House Riegan, (Y/N)..." He grumbled, sighing.

"Oh chill, Lorenz!" You guffawed, shaking your head. He'd become considerably more agreeable, but God, he'll hold onto that 'treating commoners with his version of respect' ideal forever.

Leonie nodded with you. "Yeah, buddy." She pointedly looked at Lorenz, crossing her arms. "Well, apparently (Y/N), Lorenz thinks that he can't take me to tea because I'm 'unpleasant'". Hands now on her hips, she turned back to you.

You smirked. "Lovers quarrel?" You asked, shifting your weight.

"NO, DUMBASS!" "Absolutely not!"

You cackled at the yells, waving your hands in front of your face dismissively. They really did act like it!

"My bad, my bad... now, Leonie is a great dining partner! But... I doubt tea is even your thing." You offered, mockingly putting on a wise tone. She slowly nodded, realising you're right.

"Yeah! A good meal is better than tea. Thanks for seeing my point, (Y/N)." She slapped your back before, turning away. "I'll spend this time on training, can never get enough!" She waved goodbye to the two of you, although you supposed it was more to you.

Lorenz sighed, brushing his, admittedly less foul, hair out of his face. "I fail to see why you defend her." He muttered, looking to you. You raised a brow, tilting your head for that added 'what do you mean?' effect.

"Simply put, she wouldn't make a fair tea partner. She accused me of the reason being that she was a commoner, but it truly was not! I explained to her, but she seemed to have not appreciated my honesty, either." He pondered, lips pursing.

"Well, Lorenz! I think you need a lesson in manners." You bluntly asserted, placing your hands on your sides.

"Why I never-"

"Not that you don't have wonderful manners! However, your honesty can be jarring... you come off rude, man." You explained, patting his shoulder.

"So I am to lie?"

"Gah! No! Look, how about we discuss it over tea?" You suggested, exasperated. As intelligent as the dude is, his social cues with... commoners and the rest of us normal people are is abysmal!

He nodded. "A splendid notion! Shall we take this to my dorm? I feel as though the tea court will be filled by now. I also have some delectable flavours and tea sets!" He smiled, leading you away.

You yelped, catching up to him. What was the deal with guys walking briskly away from you?

~~~~

"Please, take a seat." He offered, pulling out a chair for you. You mumbled thanks, sitting down.

Crossing your legs, you hummed. Was this a curse? Was this going to end up in you fucking the most pretentious man? Well, the omniscient presence watching your every move knows the answers.

As he poured the tea into your embellished cup, you admired the colour. "How pretty! And the teacup compliments it!" You whispered in awe, looking back up to Lorenz. He smiled sweetly at you, almost in the way one would at a kitten or puppy.

"I'm glad you have a knack for spotting artistic factors in the simplest things." He said, sitting down opposite you.

"However, on our way here, I thought about something."

You gulped. How was your impending lecturing being turned on you?!

"Y-yes?" You stuttered, bringing the teacup to your mouth, sipping nervously on the steaming liquid.

He eyed you, before humming.

"I doubt you're the most qualified person to teach me about manners." He said, gauging your reaction. You halted sipping on your tea.

Collecting yourself, you placed your teacup back down. "Oh? Why would that be?" You questioned, fiddling with the tablecloth.

"Well, you seem to have time engaging in certain... promiscuous activities, that isn't exactly too innocent or polite." He murmured, sipping on his tea.

Your eyes bulged, hands antsy as they moved to your face to hide your shock.

"For someone so carefree to participate in such... activities in public, you sure do seem to hold a facade of modesty." He replied, watching you sternly.

"Yeah, imagine how it feels having someone know of this!" You gritted your teeth, clenching your arms.

He raised a brow, smiling crookedly. "Certainly you wouldn't mind. Considering you would do so on holy grounds. You and Claude seemed to have not cared. I wouldn't be surprised if the whole monastery heard you."

You gasped, moving to get out of your chair. You didn't need a lecture from Lorenz.

He stood up with you, challenging your gaze.

"When I told Leonie she wasn't well-kempt enough... I suppose you aren't any better." He smirked, watching you bite your lip anxiously.

"Damnit, what do you want!? Don't tell anyone, I'll do anything!" You pleaded, taking a step forward. Lorenz grinned at this, raising a brow. He walked around the table, coming to face you directly. You looked down, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Since you're so eager to offer. Perhaps I could partake in those services Claude recommended to you?" He whispered, hand coming to tilt your chin upwards. Your face erupted in a dark heat, your heart thumping.

Don't fuck Lorenz. Don't fuck Lorenz. Don't fuck Lorenz. Don't fuck Lorenz.

You collected yourself, giving him a sly grin as your hands found themselves around his neck. "Well, if you're interested in a free trial..." You hinted, swaying your hips.

Don't fuck Lorenz. Don't fuck Lorenz. Don't fuck Lorenz. Don't fuck Lorenz.

He gulped, smiling crookedly. "You strike a hard bargain, my fair lady. I suppose I'd have to indulge." He murmured, grabbing underneath your knee and pulling your leg up to his waist.

Don't fuck Lorenz. Don't fuck Lorenz. Don't fuck Lorenz. Fuck Lorenz.

"Then, please, take whatever you'd like."

Fuck Lorenz. Fuck Lorenz. Fuck Lorenz. Fuck Lorenz. Fuck Lorenz. Fuck-

Your lips were captured by his own, as you soon felt your weight shift as your body was lifted from the ground. You wrapped your legs around him fully as you were set down on his plush bed

The kiss heated up passionately, feeling Lorenz palm you through your normal uniform. Being a Sunday, no war business was discussed and no armour was worn. He cupped your breasts.

"You're hardly pleasant, ever so brash and callous. But not to fear, I'll mould you into a fair woman. However, I'd say I prefer your unabashed promiscuousness." He hissed, stripping you of your uniform. Soon, your bra and underwear followed.

He shed his own casual uniform, for once in his life, not caring. That was proved as much as he dropped his uniform onto the mahogany floors.

You were pushed down onto the bed as you felt Lorenz slide on top of you, his already hard dick grinding against your slick cunt. You sighed, capturing his lips in a kiss once more.

His hands moved to your breasts, removing his mouth from your own only to kiss up the skin. Poking, squeezing, kissing, licking. He left no stone unturned, or in this case, no skin untouched. His apparent fixation on your breasts soon shifted to your darkened face. He simpered at his work.

"You will be good practice for the future. I suppose a whore such as yourself wouldn't oppose being treated with such behaviour." He proposed, his hands stroking up and down your sides.

"I... I'm not a whore!" You defended weakly. Yet any argument was soon washed away as he began to rub his dick up and down against your vagina.

"Oh? Ah, I see. So making love... no, I should say, carelessly fucking your former classmates one after another was just a hallucination?" He asked, the tip of his dick sliding into your walls for a split second before retreating.

"N-no, that's not what I meant!" You cried out, frustrated at the lack of stimulation.

"Ah, straight to denial, I see! You have skipped explaining and gone straight to denying your needy, sluttish behaviour." He groaned as he felt you pull him closer.

You cried out in frustration before looking away.

" F-fine! You're right that I'm a whore! I'm a whore who loves her classmate's dicks! Now please fuck me!" You moaned, exasperated.

"That's wonderful to hear."

And no sooner than he spoke did he thrust his dick right into your pussy, a silent moan escaping your open lips. He leant over you, feeling your tits press against him. Your legs rose and wrapped around his pistoning hips.

You struggled to get a full breath at the pace he was thrusting at, it sent your head spinning. You couldn't think, you could only feel as you were fucked silly by the one guy you could never like.

Yet, that distaste furthered your arousal.

"You are far from suitable for me. You.." He heaved as you clenched around him. "Naughty. You're brash, loud, unladylike... but you make a wonderful cocksleeve." He groaned into your ear, letting out soft moans.

You felt the coil in your stomach tighten at his words.

"Then... you're just like me! Sinking down... to my level just for some pussy?" You teased, slurring.

He smirked annoyedly. "Tch, I wouldn't say that in your position." He grunted out, holding you tighter as he pistoned harder.

"O-oh! I... you!" You moaned, speech cutting off as you couldn't talk. It was so fast, so hard, so good!

The two of you continued to moan and grunt, accompanied only by the sound of skin slapping. The erotic groans of the man you held such distaste for was sending you over the edge. You hated it so much that you loved it.

To the means of an end, you felt the coil snap as he groaned once more in your ear, the spasming of your walls soon causing him to cum. You felt your ravaged pussy shudder as ropes of hot cum seared your insides. As he slid out, it trailed out.

Lorenz looked down on you, smiling coyly at the sight. "Speechless and fucked silly, that's a perfect look for you."

[dxnahdsg]

A/n: Another Akaashi one shot because I am a simp😃

Hold On || k.akaashi ||

One shot - Angst

Warnings - Mention of blood, death, heartbreak

Includes - Song from Hold On by Chord Overstreet, Hanahaki AU

Masterlist

Loving and fighting, accusing, denying

I can't imagine a world with you gone

What did you expect? No one could ever love you. Not even your parents. Not even your best friend.

You laid on your bed, your pillow soaked wet from crying. The words he said replayed from your head, making you break down even more.

"I'm sorry [Y/n] but...I need to break up with you..."

"Why?!"

"I'm sorry...but I lied. I don't really love you as a girlfriend...I lied because I knew you were going to be heartbroken if I said I didn't so I decided to accept your feelings. But now here we are..."

"..."

"It's okay if we stay as friends right?"

"Y-Yeah...sure...I understand...don't worry..."

How dare he lie? He could've just told you in the first place right? Akaashi you idiot...if only you told me. Then I wouldn't be in this painful situation...

The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of

I'd be so lost if you left me alone

You gagged, feeling a thorn on your throat. You quickly got off of bed and ran towards the bathroom. Readying your face by the toilet, you started puking out petals and blood.

Tears pricked in your eyes as you kept puking. It hurts how it doesn't stop. It hurts how the thorns keep poking your throat. It hurts how there's a flower growing inside of you. It hurts how your heart was broken. It just fucking hurts.

About 15 minutes later, you flush the toilet with the bloodied petals going down. You sigh tiredly as you rest against the wall. You were in pain. And no one even knows it. Even Akaashi nor your brother, Bokuto. Though sometimes your brother comes to check up on you from time to time since he knew your relationship with Akaashi.

When you go to school, you always try to put on a big smile to not show any suspicions. But your pale skin was enough to show that something's wrong.

Akaashi noticed this and started worrying about you. But knowing after the heartbreak, you started ignoring him so he decided not to talk to you yet until you're ready.

Now in your perspective, you really needed Akaashi's help. All you need is for him to comfort you. Tell you that he loves you for real. But you know that none of that will become true. Especially since you thought Akaashi was ignoring you as well and that he didn't care about your sick, painful state.

You locked yourself in the bathroom

2 weeks passed. You barely even go to school anymore. Everyone was worried for you, even your parents since they never seen you this down. They try to check up on you but you locked your door, keeping them from coming.

Knowing that wasn't enough, you locked yourself in the bathroom instead. You really didn't want to see anyone anymore. You just wanted to be alone. Just leave me alone.

Akaashi's worries grew big. He noticed how you weren't going to school anymore. He noticed how your brother was tense. He noticed how you acted throughout the days. Was there something you're hiding from him?

He knew he broke your heart, but you were his best friend ever since you two were little kids. So he decided, he's going to check on you after school.

Lying on the floor when I break through

Bokuto let Akaashi in his house, knowing why he was here. He knew he wants to talk privately to you so he showed him where your room is.

As Akaashi walked towards your room, he felt an eerie feeling in his stomach. Like something wasn't right. Something bad had happened.

Shaking off the feeling, he knocked lightly on your door. "[Y/n]? It's me, Akaashi. Can I please talk to you?" He waited for a response but all he got was silence. The feeling on his stomach was back.

"[Y/n] please. Everyone's worried about you." Still no response. "Look, I'm sorry. I just thought that we'd be better as friends instead of lovers. I'm sorry if I broke your heart, it was never my intend to do so. But please, I'm still your best friend and I'm worries for you. Can you at least tell me you're alright?" Still nothing.

Not only did the feeling grew bigger, but it was also telling him break down the door. He didn't know why, but his gut was telling him there was definitely something wrong.

Taking a deep breath, Akaashi kicked your door down, surprised at his own strength. He stepped inside your room slowly, looking around only to see you were nowhere to be found.

He then noticed the light coming from the bathroom. He thought you were taking a shower but seeing the door slightly open made him know that you definitely weren't.

"[Y/n]?" Akaashi slowly opened the door and stepped in, gaze on the floor just in case you were actually doing something privately. But his blood ran cold when he saw blood splatter on the floor.

Gulping, he hesitated to look up. But once his eyes landed your bloodied hand, it was enough for him to immediately go to your side and cradled your cold body.

I pull you in to feel your heartbeat

Can you hear me screaming? Please don't leave me

"No no no..." He rambled, nearing your chest to his ear to hear your heartbeat. It was weak, the beating barely even audible. Tears formed in his eyes when his looked at you, there was a petal hanging from your mouth and there was still more inside.

"No way..." He whispered, knowing what the petals meant. He didn't think it was actually real. He thought it was just an urban legend. It wasn't real. This is just a dream.

As he keeps thinking that, the more he looked at you, he knew that this was reality. Akaashi let out a loud sob and hugged your body tightly.

"[Y/n]! Wake up! Please! Don't leave me! I'm sorry!"

Bokuto and his parents heard his sobs and immediately went inside your bathroom to see what was happening.

Bokuto's eyes widened, seeing your pale, bloodied body in Akaashi's arms. Without wasting time, he immediately called an ambulance, his voice cracking and shaking everytime he spoke.

Your parents were just staring at you in horror. Their own daughter dying in front of them. And they didn't even know what was the cause.

"Don't leave me, [Y/n]!" Akaashi kept sobbing out the same phrase, shaking your body, hoping you'd wake up.

But you were slowly fading away.

Hold on, I still want you

Come back, I still need you

Akaashi, your family and your friends, which was the whole volleyball team, waited anxiously at the waiting room. The air was tense and no one dared to talk to each other.

Akaashi gripped his hair tightly, praying so many times that you'd wake up and be beside him again. How come he was so stupid to let this happen to you? He was the one who caused this. This was his fault. All of it.

If only he could've shut his damn mouth. If only he tried harder to love you. If only he had been by your side. If only he said "I love you" for real. This wouldn't have happened.

Everyone got snapped out of their thoughts when the doctor came out of the room you were in. The doctor gave them a sympathetic look, it was enough to tell them that you weren't going to make it.

"You may visit her if you want." The doctor says. Everyone looked at each other and nodded, before moving their gaze to Akaashi, saying he should go first. But he insisted going in last.

Let me take your hand, I'll make it right

I swear to love you all my life

Akaashi entered your room, his breath hitching when he saw your unconscious body. It was time for him to say goodbye. But he didn't want to. He wants you to wake up and tell him that you were fine. But you weren't. Not after what had happened.

Akaashi sat on the chair beside you, hesitantly holding your hand. He pretends he doesn't feel how cold it was and just stared at your hand.

He let out a shaky exhale and looked at you. Biting the inside of his cheek to stop him from breaking down. "I swear I'll make this right..." He whispers. "[Y/n], I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to break your heart. I didn't mean to do this to you. I-I didn't mean to make you suffer from this pain." His voice cracked and his tears failed to be held back.

"I promise... I'll love you truly when I see you again. I will never let you experience this heartbreak again." He croaks. He gently lifted your hand and placed a soft peck on your knuckles.

Slowly pulling away, he stared at you one last time before the heartbeat monitor started beeping. Hanging his head low, he walked outside the room as the doctors and nurses went to you.

Akaashi ignored the calling he got from his friends and just went towards the restroom. He stared at his reflection, looking at himself in disgust. He swore he will never forgive himself from what had happened and would beat himself up.

Hold on, I still need you

A/n: WHY. DO. I. KEEP. MAKING. ANGST. WITH. THE. CHARACTERS. I. LOVE?!?! GAHHH😭😭😭😭

[blueathens]

I wrote this because you make me happy and I thought you'd like it, it's about Chilly

Ben laid beside his missus on the bed. They were so close and yest so far from each other. The fight was his fault, he'd pushed her and she'd broken but now he didn't know how to fix it. He was wide awake and she was sound asleep, well, not exactly but, he didn't know that yet. Ben, deep down knew she would forgive him, she'd never been one to hold grudges after getting over the initial hurt she felt, that's just the way she was, always one for peace over drama. His thoughts continued as his guilt plagued him, why had he accused her of cheating? Why had he called her those names? What was he going to do in terms of grovelling? These thoughts plagued his sleepless form and whilst they tortured him, her nightmares tortured her.

For anyone losing someone you love is horrible, no one wants to feel that pain and the heartbreak yet, here she was, trapped in a dreamland with endless loops running of Ben leaving her. Of him cheating. Of him deciding she's not good enough. Of him deciding she's not worth his time. It had gotten to the point she let out an audible whimper which had Ben snapping his head towards her, with furrowed brows, "no...please...no...don't leave me...Benji" the fragmented, distraught whimpers were enough to make him feel worse as he saw her toss and turn. He'd fucked up and he knew it. Ben moved to shake her, gently waking her from her nightmare. He'd turned the bedside lamp on just before so when she did wake up, it was warmer and almost safer than in the dream.

"Love...Darling wake up, it's just a bad dream. Wake up" and she did, with a start and covered in cold sweat, shaking and crying. She thrashed around the bed until he bundled her in his arms, cradling her as she sobbed onto his bare torso. A pang of guilt hit him like a ton of bricks. He did this,

"Lover, I don't know what you dreamt about, what terrorised you to this point. But, I'm sorry. I won't leave you. Never. You're my life. My future wife and I can't imagine my world without you. I'm sorry for my accusations and I know you'd never do what I accused you of. I will make it up to you, I swear it". He calmly spoke in a soft-voice.  It calmed her down, made her feel safer and more aware that it was a nightmare. She believed him, what he said, she trusted him but, she was still hurt by him.

"I'm okay. I just...what you said earlier it made me question a lot and I know I'm not good enough for you and you could find someone better but, I dreamt you'd leave me and I don't want to lose you because your my person and I love you and I'm sorry, I'm ranting, you should get some sleep". She tried to turn around but he wouldn't let her, two firm fingers tilted her chin up so Ben could keep eye contact,

"You're enough for me. You're more than enough for me, if anything, I don't deserve you. You, my darling, who stays up late to watch my games, who cooks food for me without being asked just because I look tired, you who runs a bath and gives me a massage without prompting. I've never been treated like a king and you've done that for me. You treat me like a king. A king needs his queen and you are mine. I am stupid but not stupid enough to lose you and I will always love you. I'll marry you one day but, for now, I ask you to forgive me for being a grade A dick. Let's get some sleep, I'll protect you from the terrors". She looked at him with big, scared eyes,

"Promise".

"I promise" he answered with certainty and with that, the two of them snuggled up together and Ben placed a protective arm around her middle, fighting away all the nightmares that tried coming near her. Tomorrow was time to grovel some more even if she had forgiven him. All he knew was that she was and still is perfect and Ben would stand by her, all their lives.

"Love you more than life, Benji"

"And I love you until forever ends".

Hope you like it,

Stormy🥺🤗

STORMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YOURE WRITING HOLY SHIT

YOU BETTER BE A FUCKING AUTHOR AS THIS WAS INCREADIBLE

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

BEYOND WORDS

AHHHHHH

[tokyoghoose]

something that never was

pairing: daisuke kambe x reader

playlist: even if it's a lie - matt maltese*, a soulmate who wasn't meant to be - jessica benko, the less i know the better - tame impala, id rather go blind - beyonce ( cadillac records ), the house we never built - gabrielle aplin*, i cant make you love me - dave thomas junior, i go crazy - orla gartland, blow my brains out - tikkle me, hidden in the sand - tally hall

warnings: angst, mentions of cheating,

summary: the coldness he radiates gets the best of you, ultimately leading to the end.

announcements!

i dont really see daisuke cheating unless it was a misunderstanding or smth, but i liked the idea of this fic. Let me know what you think!

you can tell i didnt write this in a sitting lol. Im vv sorry if it's hard to follow!

feedback is welcome and appreciated! requests are open!

There's a warm body beside you, yet the bed feels cold. The arm around your waist feels almost as foreign as the face in front of you. It hurts to look at him, to feel him. It hurts to even be around him. He's so beautiful but he feels like half the man he once was. It's disheartening.

Maybe the saying, what you don't know can't hurt you is correct because you were feeling the repercussions right about now. Curiosity really did kill the cat, and at this point, you don't even know how to get satisfaction from it. How does one bring up cheating to their partner? Especially when the partner is like Daisuke.

He likes to brush things off without paying a price except for whatever was in his bank account, the type to hand you a card and say 'go get yourself something pretty.' And it wasn't like he was a bad lover, in fact, it was very easy to fall in love with him. He has a charm about him that's magnetic, one glance and suddenly it's impossible to look away. Or at least that was your experience.

With the final confirmation that closing your eyes will do nothing other than bringing pictures into your head, you turn your back to him and try and distance your body from his. It doesn't do anything to help when he pulls you closer subconsciously, except for maybe it makes you want to cry.

You'd confront him tomorrow, you decided.

If you need to.

———

The pace you set is leisure and if kt wasn't for the poor nail bed quickly coming to nothing, it'd seem like you weren't completely losing your head. It's all you can think about. Daisuke out with some girl—who you know for a fact isn't his sister, and who is all over him. He didn't even make a move to push her off! He hates that kind of attention so if he didn't object it, then he was asking for it. He wanted the girl on his side. In fact, for someone who insists the other person sits across from him at a restaurant- he looked quite comfortable with her nearly in his lap.

Maybe you're overthinking this, y/n.

The door clicks open and your ears strain to hear the sound of Daisuke's dress shoes. He's rather indulgent when it comes to dressing wear and the shoes were practically silent, even with the short heel on the back.

"I'm home." He says to no one particular, taking off his trenchcoat and hanging it on the rack beside the door. He stops his path to the bedroom when he sees you frozen in place and staring in the living room. He merely quirks a brow, going to take off his suit and tie.

Suddenly you can't speak and you have tunnel vision. It's unfair how calm he always looks—it's almost smug like he knows everything about you and more. Like he can read your mind and tell you your darkest thoughts and when you'll die because let's be honest, it'll probably be by his hand. Maybe you should back out now before you can say anything. Forget it all because what if you're mistaken? The more you think, the more weight is added onto your shoulders and the more it pushes you down, down further into the hole you want to crawl into. Maybe you should let it because all you want to do now is escape his piercing gaze. His eyes are studying you, taking in your form and the cogs in his brain are turning to find an explanation as to why you are standing there like a psychopath and not welcoming him home like you usually do.

You feel like you're drowning. Is the light getting dimmer? The black around your vision only seems to close in around Daisuke and you try to look anywhere else but his face. There's water in your ears, the popping of them only intensifies until you can feel it pounding into your head with faint static.

Am I going to pass out?

It's not until his hand comes down gently on your shoulder that the closing circle of vision widens out and suddenly all the imaginary water rushes from your ears. You glance down at his rings before back up him, barely catching the end of his words.

"Are you alright?"

He's never been one to beg, so you would have to answer now or he'll leave it be for the rest of the night and probably months after until you're like this again.

"I-can we talk?"

He eyes you suspiciously, narrowing his eyes and keeping his brow raised before nodding, slipping his tie off around his neck, folding it neatly into the palm of his hand. He gestures for you to start the conversation, going to the minibar curving around the kitchen and living area.

When you don't reply he urges you on, "Why so tense? Did something happen, darling?"

It'd seem like he didn't really care from how cold his voice was, but you've grown accustomed to the monotone to know that he truly is concerned for your health. He genuinely wants to know why you're acting so odd. It only makes this so much harder? You're wrong- you have to be. This must be a sick trick your brain has played on you. Or he must be playing some sick trick.

Anxiety settles itself into your gut and it seems like it won't leave anytime soon.

"Daisuke, are...- are you cheating on me?"

His eyebrows finally go lax but he doesn't look up from unbuttoning the cuffs of his white button-down. His fingers fidget at the buttons and instead of the previous loose form, his hand forms a fist.

"I- "

"Why—exactly, are you accusing me of this?"

His gaze sends chills down your spine. He's offended but he doesn't offer a defense. Suddenly your mouth is dry and you lose all your words? How exactly were you going to tell him you stumbled across him and some woman in a restaurant and practically stared them down for fifteen minutes.

You decide the bear it and swallow a lump that has formed in your throat.

"You were with a woman earlier this week snd well, the displays of affection that I saw were not very like you. You've been gone for long hours and even if you blamed it on the new job, Daisuke—you never tell me anything. Is she for a case? Are you using her for information? Go on, tell me about it. Give me a reason not to accuse you."

You regain your confidence but it falters when you meet his indifferent expression. You'd prefer it if he looked angry and the silence that fills the room is deafening and the tension suffocating.

"I can't tell you anything about our cases-"

"I'm your partner! What am I going to do? Rat you out to whoever is breaking the law? Why would I even how those connections, Daisuke?"

Daisuke inhales deeply through his nose like this whole conversation is a burden on him and you can't help but feel like a burden too. Was this relationship not worth the time to talk this out? One hand grips the bar and the other pinches the bridge of his nose.

"You aren't my partner, you're my fiance. My partner and I work together. So, no. I can't tell you about the cases."

You want to rip out your hair. This isn't about his stupid job or his stupid partner. This is about the dumb fucking restaurant and the dumb fucking woman who was hanging off him.

He can't actually be this dense!

"It's not about that! Either you aren't getting the point or you keep changing the subject because it's true!" Your voice rises in pitch, your confidence failing and turning more so into desperation. But you aren't crying yet. There are no tears and your eyes are dry and you absolutely refuse to cry in front of a Kambe.

It's like the beginning of your relationship all over again. A protective barrier around yourself so you don't get hurt and offended by his cold shoulder. Was it so bad to think you've moved on from that feeling? Why is it so difficult for him to just comfort you and push back those fears? Is he that emotionally stunted? You may not know much about his past and his family, but damn— at least you're trying to work through it with him. Can he put out a little more effort?

All he does is pour himself a glass. All he does... is pour himself a glass.

"You know what- forget it. If you're so entitled and so emotionally reserved that you can't even talk to me without a drink first, then I guess we'll talk about it another time—when you don't look like my voice gives you a headache."

Daisuke actually looks taken back by your words and you suddenly feel bad for hitting a sore spot. He may not have shown it often, but he doesn't particularly like not being able to show his true emotions; no matter the reason being.

"Y/N, wait.."

But you're back on adrenaline just as soon as he felt a drop, pushing past him to get to your coat. You just needed to calm down before you said something you'd truly regret. Words tended to stay in his mind much longer than they were intended to.

"I'm staying at my mother's. Don't call me, don't text me, don't come near me until you're ready to tell me what the hell you were doing with her. "

When he doesn't say anything more and you can practically hear the cogs in his head turn, you make your way out there door, making sure to slam it shut.

You slip on the coat angrily, slamming open the door without sparing him a glance but waiting for him to say something. Anything. Were you being too rash? You shake your head and scold yourself, mentally. You can't just turn around now, not after an outburst like that. He has to learn something from this.

Irrational or not, hopefully, his true colors would show.

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: [St Patrick's Day 2016] Joe: Ron Joe: Come back, I ain't going 'til tomorrow Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: go now what the fuck does it matter Joe: It matters to me Joe: every fucking second away does and I don't care if you know it Ronnie: then dont Joe: I missed Christmas, they don't care that I bullshitted I had the flu Joe: had to do everything to stop them flying over to get me, and it was my sister's 16th so they're all on one about how long it's been Ronnie: and I dont care if they believe your bullshit or not Ronnie: I care that youre a useless cunt Ronnie: I care that youre being a fucking pussy Joe: I know you do Joe: I'm sorry or I didn't ask you to, the end result is the same 'cos I can't fucking not go, s'been months, any longer they will do something about it and fuck that Ronnie: get out of my fucking face mckenna Ronnie: youre not worth shit to me like this Joe: I don't want to and you didn't want me to five seconds 'fore you slammed the door in my face so Ronnie: give a shit what you want Ronnie: grow a pair while youre there or dont bother coming back like Joe: that's what you want, yeah? Ronnie: like you care Ronnie: go ask your ma what she wants Ronnie: or your sister Ronnie: shes legal to fuck now what do you need me for Joe: I want to make you happy, not them Ronnie: I told you what to fucking do Joe: I reckon I've got a better idea Ronnie: are you gonna say it Joe: come with me Ronnie: thats not funny Joe: I'm not trying to be Ronnie: it better be a fucking joke Joe: why not? Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: you know every reason why not Joe: so it wouldn't make you even a bit happy to fuck her family up Joe: say you don't care but you do enough to hate her Ronnie: shut up Ronnie: I hate you Joe: go on then, do it and I won't be able to go back Joe: then you can chuck me if you hate me so much and I'll have nothing but another bad habit Ronnie: I aint the kind of sister to fight your battles for you Joe: now who's being pussy Joe: I'm ready to do it Joe: tell them everything Joe: show 'em Joe: what's the issue Ronnie: still you Ronnie: thats the issue Ronnie: you think you want it til I start it Joe: Name one thing you've started that I ain't wanted Ronnie: there aint a name for this Ronnie: you dont get it Ronnie: and youre not ready for it Joe: fuck that Joe: I don't love them I love you Joe: don't get involved then, I'm trying to give you something here Joe: but if I stop going, then they'll come, and it'll just happen here Ronnie: youre trying to give yourself something Ronnie: but I aint no performing monkey and you cant put me back in my box when you start shitting yourself Ronnie: there wont be one Ronnie: there wont be fuck all left Joe: Good Joe: what about me says that I want anything Joe: there's always heroin Ronnie: you want me to get arrested then yeah Ronnie: get rid of me like that Joe: I won't let that happen Joe: I'd take the blame before it did Ronnie: youre not listening Ronnie: you wont have any control Ronnie: you dont Ronnie: not over me Joe: I don't need any Joe: I don't want to control you Joe: I want you to do exactly what you want Joe: to me, to them, to the fucking world, that's what I always want Joe: you don't have to come, I thought you wanted to, wanted this Ronnie: stop flirting with me you sick fuck Ronnie: I cant think Joe: it's gone beyond flirting Joe: you've got 'til tomorrow to think Joe: come back Joe: please Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do Ronnie: or not do Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: I'm just saying if you don't come then I'll do it on my own Joe: that's just how it is Joe: I don't wanna do it no more, go back, not be here, with you Joe: pretend, more than I have to Ronnie: like fuck are you doing it without me Ronnie: the look on her face thats mine not yours Ronnie: a life for a life Joe: then it's settled Joe: come back though, I know Charlie and Bronson have got fuck all decent in to calm you down Ronnie: theyve got fuck all of anything now like Ronnie: having it in me already is the only reason youre getting words off me instead of a boot in your face Joe: gutted Joe: just for them, before you accuse me of flirting with you again Ronnie: yeah didnt reckon youd follow through on that Joe: if you'd come home I could give you everything you want Joe: close enough that it don't matter no more Ronnie: if I make it that easy neither of us will want it Ronnie: stop fucking crying Joe: what did they have then, make me cry some more with a trip report Ronnie: nursery school shit Ronnie: talk to me about this show and tell you wanna put on Joe: so my dad owns this pub, yeah Joe: st paddy's obviously best day and night of the year for business Joe: it'll be packed Ronnie: no shit Joe: do more damage if there's a crowd to hear and see Ronnie: then what Joe: depends Joe: loads of ways you could do it Joe: it's pretty obvious on both counts what we're trying to say together Joe: leave the rest up to you Ronnie: I know what I'm gonna do Ronnie: I don't trust you to pussy out first chance you get Ronnie: not* Joe: tell me Ronnie: I dont do foreplay Ronnie: fuck alls changed that much since I walked out Joe: alright Joe: could accuse you of being a tease about it but I can wait Ronnie: all those pint glasses on offer are the tease when you know how I feel about glass Ronnie: better lover than you Joe: won't take it personal Joe: made you look this good and I get to look so Ronnie: it only matters that you do take it baby Joe: whatever you give me Joe: and obviously, all this Joe: [drug haul!] Joe: i need to be comatose with you Ronnie: you shouldve started with the offer of that threesome Ronnie: Id be back ages ago Joe: if I made it that easy.. Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: alright, come get yours Joe: hurry up Joe: she's staring at me Ronnie: Im not your bitch Ronnie: Ill be there when im done ✂🪒 Joe: you wanna give them something to remember you by? Ronnie: theyll remember Joe: you gonna bleed for me too though Ronnie: im only doing my hair Ronnie: fuck all else is as fun without an audience Ronnie: dont get excited Joe: awh, you do care Ronnie: do you want me to cut your tongue out so you dont sound as rem as you look tomorrow Ronnie: care about that Joe: ✋🤚 long as you leave all ten relatively unscathed Ronnie: gotta leave myself something Ronnie: youre a shit enough ride already Ronnie: do I sound 🍀 now Joe: exactly like my exes Joe: well about it Ronnie: dont go round saying you were a virgin Ronnie: *nt Ronnie: more embarrassing Joe: oh, reckoned part of your big show was saying you deflowered me Joe: they're gonna be horrified enough though Ronnie: theyd believe it if you wanna go that far with the show Joe: don't reckon that's your plan Joe: but an interesting one Joe: I'll 🤔 on it Ronnie: your ma dont turn me on but neither do you so Id give it a shot Ronnie: reckon youll be horny enough for all of us Joe: the shit will have worn off by then, don't remind me Ronnie: how longs the flight? Joe: hour and a half, bit under Ronnie: 💔 Joe: I know Joe: long enough that all the mile-high cliches are gonna flood right back in Joe: more of a flight risk, should let me have my drugs instead Ronnie: no batteries no sharp objects no point Joe: you're hard to please, my dear Joe: and well selective Joe: the air hostesses, less so if they're even gonna consider it Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you want me to tell 'em you're coming or element of surprise Joe: what's your poison Ronnie: long as it eats away at her I dont give a shit Ronnie: tell em Ronnie: how excited I am Joe: 👍 Joe: on it Ronnie: lay it on well thick Ronnie: make sure theyve all got the taste in their mouths Joe: I know how to breed hope Joe: look at my shining education and musical genius Ronnie: almost hot til you ruined it Joe: one day I'll get you Ronnie: chuck your empty promises at that lot Joe: not the point no more Joe: don't just need my ✋🤚 for you Joe: string for my supper 'til I choke, that's the plan 🎻💉 Joe: can put my diploma on their wall if they want but give a fuck Ronnie: use it for roll ups Ronnie: like a hotel bible Joe: you're really gonna be that hot and not be here Joe: sounds like you Ronnie: it only gets hot when you start thinking about what poison youre gonna lace the 🚬 with Joe: you ever smoked wet? Ronnie: you wanna pop my 🍒 Joe: yeah Joe: only fair Ronnie: who plays fair Joe: hallucinations, disorientation, impaired coordination, paranoia, sexual disinhibition, and visual disturbances Joe: don't play 'cos it's fair, play 'cos it's fun Ronnie: alright you got me Joe: say again Joe: I can get that over there Joe: can smoke some 'fore the show Ronnie: sexual disinhibition Ronnie: thas the show you want Ronnie: I called it Joe: sue me Joe: or worse, obviously 🔪😍 Ronnie: 💉 Ronnie: Ill play and Im leaving Ronnie: dont start todays show without me Joe: you don't have enough hair to be taking this long Ronnie: I was using a broken mirror Joe: Charlie'll be fuming Ronnie: so was I when I broke it Joe: got all the shards out? Ronnie: not my first time Ronnie: youre getting 🍒 greedy now Joe: could've distracted me from the bag with a video or something Joe: you're being selfish, alternative title Ronnie: [sends him something only theyd be into, lord knows] Ronnie: take what youre given and lick it up Ronnie: im not a fucking charity Joe: 👅 Ronnie: ill bring you a shard to put on it the fun can really start Joe: 💘 Ronnie: you can fuck off calling me selfish like Joe: I'll take it back when I feel it Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: you will Joe: you still hate me, like Ronnie: only fair baby Joe: of course Joe: what kind of sick fuck Ronnie: theyll be lining up to tell you tomorrow Joe: might be worth sticking around for Joe: shame, they would make it fun when I'm trying to leave Ronnie: the lads mustve got that memo Ronnie: nothing more fun than a street fight Ronnie: gimme a sec to knock em out Joe: playing nice better or worse than playing fair Ronnie: you tell me soft lad Ronnie: youve had it up to the back teeth Joe: definitely worse Joe: fair was never a big concern with them but less soul-destroying Ronnie: ill rip mine all out before I use em to smile nice Ronnie: playing the way anyone else wants aint a big concern Joe: 🦷🦷 more useful than 👅 Ronnie: dont cry I wont I know what you like Joe: what did I do to deserve you eh Ronnie: you dont Joe: very true Ronnie: but your fucked family deserve me and ill let you watch Joe: suits me Ronnie: yeah you get everything you want Ronnie: this aint any different Joe: got a load of shit I don't want too, that makes up for it Ronnie: not gonna watch you cry fuck joining in Joe: just be here then Ronnie: im coming Joe: shouldn't have gone in the first place Ronnie: thats your fucking fault Joe: yeah Joe: but don't leave me Ronnie: if I wanted you gone Id kill you Joe: you're so considerate Joe: any time Ronnie: you aint getting out of tomorrow Ronnie: ill strap your rotting corpse into a plane seat before I go on my fucking own Joe: I want to be there Joe: and I wouldn't make you go alone either way Ronnie: mckenna Joe: what Ronnie: dont fuck it up Joe: that's your role Joe: is there anything you actually want me to do or just watch Ronnie: stay out of my way Joe: done Ronnie: 💘

[marril96]

Reconciliation

Characters: Rowena, reader

Pairing: Rowena/reader

Summary: Following a painful separation, Rowena and reader have a heart to heart.

Editor: @oswinthestrange

You've done your best to avoid her, but as the excitement died down and everyone pretty much accepted the world was going to hell whether they screamed about it or kept their mouths shut, the two of you found yourselves alone in the kitchen. 

Rummaging the cupboards in search for more liquor (the harder, the better. You were no drinker, but considering the world was going to end in a few hours, you figured might as well just go with the flow), you paid Rowena no mind. Drink, you reminded yourself, willing yourself to stay focused on you task. You're here for the drink. 

You just needed to find it, and then you would forget. Forget that the world was ending. Forget that there was a madwoman on the loose. Forget that up until a few hours ago you were working with a psychopath who was partly to blame for this tension. 

Forget her. 

Until she, along with you, along with the rest of this universe, disappears forever. 

"You might as well just say it," Rowena said as she put the kettle on, breaking the uncomfortable silence. 

You gulped. There goes the idea to ignore her. "Say what?" 

"Whatever it is you've been wanting to say." You turned to her, and she shot you a deadpan look, crossing her arms over her chest like a teacher who'd caught their student in a lie. "You've been staring at me for hours, dear. Don't think I haven't noticed." 

Great.  

You never were good at subtlety. 

"There's nothing to say." 

"Really? I think there's plenty." 

"The world's ending and I'm looking for a drink," you said, shrugging. 

Rowena narrowed her eyes. "You don't drink." 

You did now. "Maybe I do. Maybe I always did." She was doing this now, of all times? "Since when do you care what I'm doing?" 

"Don't do this," she said with a sigh. 

"I'm not doing anything," you said, a tad more harshly than intended. "Sorry your boyfriend's not here anymore. I'd say good riddance, but I don't wanna hurt your feelings." 

"Don't," she warned. 

You ignored her. "Must've felt good to see him again, after all this time." 

"That's enough, Mariana!" Rowena said sternly. "I won't let you talk to me like that." 

"Why don't you just ignore me – again? You're good at that." 

"You're acting like a child!" she accused. 

"At least I'm not pretending nothing happened!" you shot back. Tears prickled at your eyes, rimming them red. Memories flashed in your mind, as fresh and bright as if they were new. You begging Rowena not to do it. Her assuring you everything will be fine. The look of adoration on her face as she observed him, while you stood aside in the shadows, ignored and forgotten. The walls you'd hidden behind. A loud, spine-chilling crack. Her limp body falling to the ground. Eyes, once full of light, staring at you with a lifeless gaze. "You've made your choice, Rowena." 

"As have you," she said after a short break. "You knew what you were getting into. I'm a wicked witch, love. Never claimed to be otherwise. I'm not to blame for your unreasonable expectations." 

Ouch.  

"I never asked you to love me! I just wanted you to be my friend!" you snapped, tears spilling from your eyes. "I gave you a chance when everyone else thought you a lost cause. I left everything I had behind, just to be with you. I stood by you. Defended you. And how did you repay me? By trusting Satan over me! Fucking Satan, Rowena!" 

She had the decency to look ashamed, shifting her gaze aside. The words stung, but you had to let them out. You had to let her know. 

Your feelings for Rowena were no secret. At first you hid them, but with time it became harder to pretend as if nothing had changed between the two of you. So you stopped. There was no use acting like you thought of her as just a friend, when every single cell in your body burned with desire for her. Rowena noticed straight away, but said nothing. Her stance was clear. And so was yours. 

Just as she had a strict no feelings attached policy, you felt entitled to nothing. All you wanted was to learn from her, to be at least half a witch she was. Being her friend was more than enough. 

You'd known about her thirst for power from the very start. But to think she would trust Lucifer, of all people… 

What hurt the most wasn't her trusting him. 

It was her trusting him more than you. 

"You know why I was there? I was going to blackmail Crowley to release you," you told her, wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your shirt. "Instead I had to watch Lucifer kill you." 

"Darling, I…" Rowena looked at you, features softening. "It was foolish of me to trust him. I know that now. If you'd stayed–" 

"I couldn't," you cut in. "Every time you get hurt, I worry like crazy. And watching you die… I thought I'd lost you forever. I'd rather be away from you than go through that again." 

As much as it pained you to leave her, you couldn't stay with her anymore. Bruises and cuts popping up on her body from time to time were bad enough, but watching her die… It was hell. You could take care of a few injuries. Death, on the other hand, was out of your jurisdiction. She'd survived Lucifer's attempt on her life, but who's to say she would be this lucky next time? 

She hadn't even told you about the failsafe. When Lucifer snapped her neck, you thought that was it, that you would never see her again. Seeing her come back to life a few minutes afterwards, as you knelt beside her body and cried your eyes out, was a welcome surprise. But it was also the last straw. 

Rowena walked over to you, placing her hands on your cheeks. You eased into her touch, heart jumping at the feel of her delicate skin on yours. You'd almost forgotten how gentle she could be, how soft and warm her hands were. The same hands that wielded power you could only dream of having were caressing you so tenderly that you felt as if you would melt any moment now.  

You missed this; missed having her this close, missed touching her. 

"If I were to promise that things would be different, would you consider coming back?" she asked, eyes staring deep into yours. If you didn't know her any better, you'd think she was begging. But there was no way; she was Rowena, a wicked witch, unapologetic to the core. She didn't beg. She claimed and ruined and destroyed, but she never begged. Not unless she needed something, or… 

Or if there was more to her than met the eye. 

And if there was one thing you were one hundred percent certain of, it was that Rowena MacLeod was a complicated creature. She had a soft side. She could be kind. She could be sweet. 

Who's to say she hadn't cherished your friendship the same way you had? 

"Does it matter?" you asked. "We'll��all be dead in a few hours, anyway." 

"That's a few hours less of solitude," Rowena said. 

You leaned forwards, pressing your forehead to hers. "I'm scared," you admitted, everything you'd been holding back for months pouring out in the form of tears and sobs. Gone was the anger and disappointment. All you had left now was pain; pain of life soon to be lost, pain of taking so long to face her. If you'd given her another chance, you could have had a few more months with her. You could have had her with you, as a mentor, perhaps even as a good friend. 

Instead, you were all alone. 

And now, it was too late to change that. 

You hadn't even had a full day to be with her. 

"I know, darling," Rowena cooed in a manner that was more motherly and tender than ever before. 

"I don't want to die," you wept. "I want to be with you. I'm sorry I left. I should've given you another chance." 

"You were in the right to leave," she soothed, using her fingers to wipe away your tears. "I have betrayed your trust. I was foolish to think the devil would make good on his promises. You warned me not to trust him and I ignored you. If anyone should apologize, it's me." 

"Forget it," you told her. She regretted her actions just as you had regretted yours. That was more than enough for you. "Just be here. Be my friend. That's all I want." 

"Friend?" Rowena stepped back, looking you in the eyes as she raised a pointed eyebrow. "Darling, who said anything about friendship?" 

She didn't give you time to process her words, whatever it is you'd mouthed to say forever cut off by the force of her lips connecting with yours. There was passion in that kiss that you'd never experienced before, hunger like no other. You found yourself as stiff as a statue, unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to do anything but just stand there and let her do as she pleased. 

Rowena was a fantastic kisser. She was an experienced lover, centuries your senior, and it showed. God, it showed! Not even in your wildest dreams had she kissed you like this. A mere fantasy could never be as good – as magical, as special – as the real thing. 

"You… you kissed me," you whispered as your lips parted, gasping for breath. 

"Aye," Rowena said. "Let's just say you aren't the only one who thought things through these past few months." 

She… liked you? Rowena MacLeod, one of the most powerful witches alive, a force of nature, the love of your life, liked you? Liked you liked you? 

If there was ever a time when you wanted to jump out of your skin, it was now. 

"But what about Chuck?" 

Rowena frowned. "What about him?" 

"You and him seemed quite… chummy," you said a tad too bitterly than you'd intended. Being angry wasn't the only reason you avoided her. Watching the person you're in love with practically drool all over someone else – God, of all people – was far from easy. Lucifer was one thing, but the Man Himself? A common witch like you couldn't compete with that. 

"That was just flattery, dear," Rowena said with a chuckle. 

You let out a small sigh. So it wasn't adoration. Rather, she was kissing his ass in a way only she knew how. 

"Are you jealous?" she asked, an amused smirk playing on her lips. 

You blushed. "I didn't even know you were into girls." 

"Oh, sweetie, I couldn't care less about what's down there," she said, motioning to your crotch. "The only thing that interests me is what's up here." She put a forefinger to your temple. "You're one intriguing lass." 

"I-I'm assuming that's a good thing?" you stammered, uncertain. 

"That's a great thing," Rowena said. "How about we find ourselves a room and make the best out of our few remaining hours?" 

A wide grin spread across your face. Dying didn't seem quite as bad with her by your side. 

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