#in a way ds9 is like breaking bad

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[risingchaos]

Explanation of pips in Star Trek (TNG onward)

Explanation of the wrist cuffs in Star Trek TOS

This will mostly have pictures of Star Trek: Next Gen because of ease but this is generally applicable to any ST media chronologically after TNG. If I’m remembering correctly it doesn’t really deviate.

So, the way that Star Trek ranks work is based upon the U.S. Navy. I’m going to break this down into five classes and each rank inside it, lowest to highest.

If you just want to know the look and don’t care about any explanation, there is a guide at the end for you. :)

—————

Cadet - Uniform distinction

These are people enrolled in Starfleet. They wear distinctive uniforms to help differentiate them from others. Left is dress uniform, right is regular. The Cadet uniform is almost always an entirely red outfit, also shown in the AOS movies. Also I believe they have lines on their uniforms usually to tell what year they’re in. Think Cadet Uhura from Strange New Worlds (technically ranking works different in this show but the uniform is the same).

Petty Officer - No pips, CPO wears one empty [x]

Petty Officers wear no pips. This rank really isn’t talked about because almost no one is really featured. It’s comprised of people who are enlisted but didn’t attend the Academy. You see it on some engineers. Within this rank, there’s also a command structure like Chief Petty Officer who wear one empty pip, but it’s difficult to find reliable breakdowns of it. Unfortunately I couldn’t find any clear pictures of a lapel. Miles O’Brian is a Senior Chief Petty Officer.

Ensign - One gold [o]

It’s generally what people are promoted to out of the Academy. Technically they have command but not really. Under this rank is also Acting Ensigns and Ensigns who were promoted for the field. Think Wesley Crusher’s arc.

Lieutenants

This has three ranks within it.

Junior Grade Lieutenant - One empty, one gold [xo]

These are just above Ensigns. They wear one empty pip next to solid gold. Medical personnel are typically Junior Lieutenants out of the Academy due to their extended training. They often have actual responsibilities on the ship. We actually watch Geordi La Forge’s promotions through Lieutenant, as he starts the show as a Junior Lieutenant along with Worf.

Lieutenant - Two gold [oo]

This is what we see most often interacting with the crew we’re following. They have genuine responsibilities. We see them taking head of teams or working at consoles. They’ve proven themselves to Starfleet. Worf and La Forge are promoted to this in season two, and Tasha Yar was a Lieutenant in season one. Spock is a Lieutenant in the first two seasons of SNW.

Lieutenant Commander - One empty, two gold [xoo]

These are heads of departments, the one people default to about smaller issues on board, and general senior officers. They are the ones defaulted to for ship’s command, as seen throughout TNG with Data, and are often relied upon by Commanders and the Captain to keep the ship going. Data is a Lieutenant Commander throughout all of TNG, La Forge is promoted in season three. Worf is not promoted until season four of DS9. Deanna is actually a Lieutenant Commander for almost the entire duration of TNG. They are often referred to as “Commander” instead of Lieutenant by officers unless introducing themselves.

Commander - Three gold [ooo]

Most often called “Number One”, this is the second in command. They are competent, capable, and willing to take lead and help the ship. Commanders are trusted by the crew and the Captain, and are often a yin to the Captain’s yang. The Head Doctor is often a Commander to give them authority, like Dr. Beverly Crusher. William Riker is the iconic Commander in TNG, Spock is Commander in TOS.

Captain - Four gold [oooo]

We’re all very familiar with Captains. They are as senior as you can get on a ship unless there’s an Admiral on board. Captains are intelligent, confident, and understand what must be done, even if it’s a bad situation. The lives of their crew is in their hands. It comes with a great deal of free will to choose their ship’s path, yet an insane amount of responsibility. Captain Picard of TNG, Captain Kirk of TOS, Captain Janeway of Voyager. We know the names.

Admiral - Entirely different system

Admiral pips are strange. They do not wear pips on the collar, instead wearing them basically in boxes. It really was not standardized until the end of DS9, I think. The Admirals wear a different uniform to make themselves stand out. Admirals are representative of Starfleet. They make the big choices for the fleet, the life changing ones. They give direct orders if needed and expect respect from all lower officers. They’re incredibly powerful. We don’t get to see much of Admirals in any show, but we know of a few, such as Admiral Picard in Picard, Admiral McCoy in TNG, and Admiral Kirk in the movies.

Here is a complete guide to each rank in Starfleet, excluding Cadets and Petty Officers.

Ensign - [o]

Junior Lieutenant - [xo]

Lieutenant - [oo]

Lieutenant Commander - [xoo]

Commander - [ooo]

Captain - [oooo]

Commodore/Rear Admiral (lower half) - [[o]]

Rear Admiral (upper half) - [[oo]]

Vice Admiral - [[ooo]]

Admiral - [[oooo]]

Fleet Admiral - [[ooooo]]

x is an empty pip, o is a gold, and for the Admirals, the double brackets is to indicate that they’re in a box.

—————

Hope this helps you understand ranks in Star Trek better, as it has helped me. Let me know if anything needs clarifying! I have edited this a few times to add more clarifying information.

Thank you to @vvkingofgaybisciutsvv for asking for this! I had a great time putting it together.

[walkingstackofbooks]

I know this is cursed but. Please rank DS9 characters in order of how Dominant or submissive they’d be during kink scenes? I feel like we could write whole essays analysing what those guys do in bed tbh.

Oh my god, cackling, is this really what you all think of me? :P (Yeah, no, that's fair 🤣)

This was actually so interesting to think about! I was finding it very hard difficult to decide on an order on initial vibes alone, so I wrote up my headcanons for them all first - and a few of them are surprising even to me! Also there are so many switches/not really into it so the middle is really very fuzzy.

1 - Ezri Yeah, definitely a surprise to find her at the top of my list, but I so really think she'd get a kick out of the dom scene (and mostly dislike subbing). She's just got that quiet powerful energy that makes you want to be in her thrall, and being joined and having Jadzia's memories alongisde her own just makes her more confident that she's good at what she does. She wouldn't dom for brats though. (Also partly why she's so nervous at asking Julian out, she doesn't feel she's got a good read on his dom/sub energy...)

2 - Sisko If he was into it, I can only see him as a dom. He made captain because he's good at commanding, and he likes it, and I think that would carry through into the bedroom. But honestly, he probably wouldn't be interested in power play in the first place.

3 - Jadzia She's a great dom for sure, but I think she enjoys exploring new things way too much not to be a switch? Plus, Worf like to think he's a dom, and she's happy to humour him from time to time. More dom than not, though, and she's definitely a brat when she subs.

4 - Worf I've definitely said this before, but Worf thinks he's a dom. He's a Klingon warrior, etc etc etc, "obviously" if anyone's domming, it's him. I don't think he's that good at it, but Jadzia finds it endearing, so it's fine. And I think he likes it when Jadzia takes charge, but he never actually refers to that as "subbing" in his head... Idk, I just don't think he'd be able to relax enough to really let himself be submissive, even though I think he'd enjoy it if he were able to. (I also don't think he's particularly into power play, either, tbh)

5 - Garak Ohh, another difficult one... I think subbing would be really good for him, if he could let his guard down enough for it. And he'd have to be in the right mood to dom - at times, he'd really enjoy it, at others, it would hit too close to home and he'd be holding off a breakdown until whenever his partner left. I think he'd *want* to dom, though, even if he knows it'll trigger him, because he does enjoy breaking the other person down and hurting them. (Not that he'd think of it as "triggering" to himself, of course.)

6 - Odo I really cannot see him being into it. No rating. [Edit: I came back to re-evaluate after writing Kira but no. Even for her, it's really not something he wants to try.] [Edit: Fuck, he would dom for Quark though.]

7 - Miles Again, not sure he'd be into power play for itself, but he enjoys playing his role for a partner who's into it. Keiko, I think is a switch with a slight preference for domming, so he's been a sub more often than not. I think his favourite part of it is giving aftercare when he's been a dom :3 (something something good-cop-Miles-bad-cop-Keiko domming the hell out of a dazed Julian)

8 - Julian Disclaimer - I exclusively read sub!Julian, so I'm biased XD But trying to think about it objectively... I think he's a switch. Like Jadzia, he enjoys exploring new things too much to really stick to one or the other. I do think he'd have hangups over how much he enjoys domming though, what with his secret fear of going bad... And being a sub allows him to relax and not have to think and just relish in all the sensations and I think he'd love being slowly taken apart bit by bit...

9 - Kira Sure, she screams dom at first but I pegged her as a sub a few weeks back and now I've really talked myself into it. I think she could dom, but unlike Sisko, while she's very good at being in command, I don't think she intrinsically enjoys it, and letting someone else be in control would give her the chance to relax. It would take her a while to allow herself to explore it, but once she got there, she'd find a space where she can be soft and gentle and cherished - and hurt, and soothed.

10 - Quark Oh my god he's such a sub, right? Not that he'd ever tell anyone but he LOVES being told what to do and ordered around. In theory he's a brat, but it never lasts for long - he becomes a pliant submissive wreck too quickly. (Okay now I'm considering if Odo would break his definitely not rule for Quark and... Yeah, actually 😅 Why would their dynamic change just because they're having sex?)

[whispsofwind]

Tbh I still absolutely refuse to entertain the idea of Ziyal as a love interest for Garak because it just - isn't thematically interesting nor coherent with the rest of the series??

Like, there's so much importance on fatherhood and parental figures on DS9.

There's Ben Sisko and his relationship with both his own father and his son Jake, and how the positive relationship with his father translated into a virtuose generational cycle where he does his absolute best for Jake, always. Also, Sisko acts as a Moses figure in Bajoran religion, becoming as a paternal figure of sorts of Kira and as a Captain he acts a paternal figure for all of the Station, much more than Kirk or Picard ever did imo. (And quite frankly he is basically the MC so his character arc informs the whole series)

There's Julian and his relationship with his parents and especially his father - the father who became his architect because his son was "defective" and then resented Julian for it.

There's Rom and Nog and their mutually supportive relationships.

There is Kira Nerys and her relationship to multiple father figures - her biological father, sure, but also Ben Sisko and Tekeny Ghemor, and all the complicated messy feelings that those bring in their intersection with religious and political elements. And then the fact that Kira was a surrogate for the O'brien family and all the complicated feelings there, and her role as a parental figure to Ziyal.

There's Dukat and his absolute disaster of a relationship with his daughter (and his implied relationship with the rest of his children - and the implication that Dukat is not a good father by neither Federation or Cardassian standards).

There is Garak and the absolutely fucked up relationship he has with Tain and the intersection between Tain as a representative of the State and Tain as a father and the State as a parental figure to Cardassia.

In a smaller capacity there's also Miles who literally becomes a father a second time in DS9 and Worf and his complicated relationship with Alexander.

Odo and his complicated relationship with his "father", who wasn't his father at all but in a way wasn't he in the way he shaped Odo and his perspective of the world?

Even Dax, one could argue if stretching the argument enough, can be read through the lens of parental figures- Curzon as a father figure of sorts to Benjamin, albeit in a more fun dad sense, and Ezri as a metaphorical daughter figure to both Jadzia and Curzon, the young one with such big shoes to fill - I feel like I am not stretching it toooooo much here ok.

Just - so much of DS9 narrative revolves about being children of someone, and parents of someone. What it means to be a good father, a good parent, and how parents shape and form ad hurt and traumatise you.

And the writers were aware of that! So many episodes directly parallel two or more different plots about these elements with either the main characters or one-shot characters.

So, like, the subplot with Ziyal and Garak is basically already written?? Garak supplanting Dukat as a father to Ziyal is so thematically resonant with Garak and Dukat's storylines in the context of the broader implications of the show. It works on multiple levels in terms of Dukat not deserving fatherhood, and Garak breaking away from Tain's cycle of trauma and reconciling with a more humane and natural approach to family, and it also serves Ziyal's character arc in bridging her Cardassian and Bajoran sides through her putative parents, Garak and Nerys.

It's unfortunate that they really needed to make sure Garak looked straight and they chose Ziyal for it, because I truly think it was such a bad choice. I do not believe for a second that Garak is straight, so it didn't even work, but it surely ruined a perfectly good thematic streak they had going on.

[lostyesterday]

Does O’Brien Really Suffer More?

A popular topic of discussion in the DS9 fandom is the idea that terrible things are constantly happening to poor O’Brien. I’ve also seen several people push back against this idea and argue that terrible things happen to other characters just as much or more than they do to O’Brien. I decided to try to answer the question of whether or not O’Brien really suffers more as objectively as possible.

First of all, what do people mean when they say that O’Brien suffers more than other characters? Here are a few possible theories:

A larger number of bad things happen to O’Brien onscreen than to any other major character. This is so obviously untrue it’s not worth investigating, at least partially because characters like Sisko and Kira are more often focused on in the show than O’Brien, and so clearly a larger number of bad things happen to them. Also, it would be almost impossible to count every single bad thing that happened to every major DS9 character, so it’s not a useful definition.

A larger percentage of the things that happen to O’Brien are bad compared to the percentage of bad things that happen to other characters. This has a greater likelihood of possibly being true in the show, but it has a similar problem of requiring a catalogue of every single thing that happens to every character, which would be ridiculous to attempt.

The bad things that happen to O’Brien are worse than the bad things that happen to other major characters. This is impossible to measure in any kind of remotely objective way, and anyway, I don’t buy the idea that the things that have happened to characters like Kira or Bashir are somehow less bad than the things that have happened to O’Brien.

So instead, I’ve decided to focus on the idea of the “O’Brien Must Suffer” episode, which is a concept that has existed in the fandom for a long time from what I can tell. The idea is that an “O’Brien Must Suffer” episode involves a strong emphasis on terrible things happening to O’Brien. I looked in various places online to find lists of what people consider to be all the “O’Brien Must Suffer” episodes. From there, I tried to compile a reasonable definition of what an “O’Brien Must Suffer” episode would look like, and then generalize that definition to apply to any character. Then I could ask, how many “Kira Must Suffer” or “Bashir Must Suffer” episodes are there, and are there really more “O’Brien Must Suffer” episodes than for any other character?

This is the definition of an “X Must Suffer” episode that I settled on:

The episode features a major character suffering something very bad/traumatizing even by Star Trek standards.

The suffering is entirely or mostly caused by outside forces without the character having any control over them (so no moral dilemma episodes where the suffering is caused by having to make a choice or take certain actions willingly).

The episode focuses significantly on this character’s suffering (meaning it doesn’t happen entirely off screen/in the past).

This character is either the only character shown experiencing this particular type of suffering (as in no other important characters undergo the same thing in the same episode), or has something substantially worse/more horrifying happen to them than any of the other characters in the same situation.

The problem with this definition is that it’s arguably too strict. A lot of the episodes commonly considered to be “O’Brien Must Suffer” episodes don’t fit it, mostly because they break Rule 4. But Rule 4 is necessary, otherwise there would be no way to distinguish between an “X Must Suffer” episode and an “Everyone Suffers” episode.

So I decided to allow for episodes that mostly fit the definition, but don’t quite fit one or two of the rules. These partial “X Must Suffer” episodes are worth half a point, and any episode that fully fits the definition is worth one point. Partial “X Must Suffer” episodes include: episodes where the suffering is partially caused by the character’s own actions/choices but is still mostly out of their control, episodes where the suffering happened in the past or is not given central focus in the episode, and episodes where two characters (rather than only one) experience the same terrible thing.

Here is a graph showing the number of suffering points each major DS9 character gets according to the definition listed above and giving half points to episodes that partially fit:

Notes: For the purposes of this graph, I counted Jadzia and Ezri as the same character, and I counted double episodes/arcs as singular episodes. I’ve also listed all the episodes I counted for each character below the cut.

Conclusion: O’Brien does not have a larger number of “X Must Suffer” episodes than the rest of the major DS9 characters. He’s definitely in the top four (with all having distinctly higher scores than the rest of the characters), but Sisko, Kira, and Bashir all have higher scores than O’Brien using my definition.

Potential further avenue of analysis: If O’Brien doesn’t have a larger number of “X Must Suffer” episodes than every other character, why is the fandom perception that he does so common?

List of All Episodes Counted in the Above Graph for Each Character:

O’Brien:

Armageddon Game: 0.5 points (Bashir suffers too)

Whispers: 1 point

Paradise: 0.5 points (Sisko suffers too)

Tribunal: 1 point

Visionary: 1 point

Hippocratic Oath: 0.5 points (Bashir suffers too)

Hard Time: 1 point

The Assignment: 0.5 points (Keiko suffers too, also this is technically a moral dilemma episode but there was really no other option here so I’m counting it for half points)

Empok Nor: 0.5 points (Nog suffers too)

Note: There are two episodes commonly considered to be “O’Brien Must Suffer” episodes that did not fit my definition even partially. Time’s Orphan is a “Molly Must Suffer” episode, not an “O’Brien Must Suffer” episode. If I counted this episode for O’Brien, I’d have to count any episode for any other character where their suffering is due to seeing a loved one suffer way more, and there are a fair number of those. Honor Among Thieves doesn’t count either. It’s a fairly standard moral dilemma episode, and if I counted that, I’d have to count tons of other moral dilemma episodes for other characters like In the Pale Moonlight for Sisko.

Sisko:

Paradise: 0.5 points (O’Brien suffers too)

The Jem’Hadar: 0.5 points (Quark suffers too)

Past Tense: 0.5 points (Bashir suffers too)

Through the Looking Glass: 1 point

Shattered Mirror 0.5 points (Jake suffers too)

Rapture: 1 point

Waltz: 1 point

Far Beyond the Stars: 1 point

Shadows and Symbols: 1 point

What You Leave Behind: 0.5 points (situation partially due to Sisko’s own choices)

Kira:

Duet: 0.5 points (technically a moral dilemma episode, but a lot of focus is placed on suffering outside of Kira’s control in the past)

Necessary Evil: 0.5 points (suffering in flashbacks)

The Circle/The Siege: 1 point

Crossover: 0.5 points (Bashir suffers too)

Second Skin: 1 point

The Darkness and the Light: 1 point (I do not consider it reasonable to say that the events of this episode are caused by Kira’s choices - I’m not going to agree with the serial killer here)

Ties of Blood and Water: 0.5 points (primary suffering shown in flashbacks)

Wrongs Darker than Death or Night: 1 point (Kira does make choices here, but most of the bad things that happen to her are sufficiently out of her control to award full points in my opinion)

Covenant: 1 point

Dax:

Invasive Procedures: 1 point

Equilibrium: 1 point (Joran’s decisions do not count as Jadzia’s decisions)

Change of Heart: 1 point (Jadzia’s the one dying painfully so she gets full points)

Tears of the Prophets: 1 point

Til Death Do Us Part/Strange Bedfellows: 0.5 points (Worf suffers too)

Bashir:

The Passenger: 1 point

Armageddon Game: 0.5 points (O’Brien suffers too)

Crossover: 0.5 points (Kira suffers too)

Past Tense: 0.5 points (Sisko suffers too)

Distant Voices: 1 point

Hippocratic Oath: 0.5 points (O’Brien suffers too)

In Purgatory’s Shadow: 1 point

Doctor Bashir I Presume: 0.5 points (main suffering is in the past)

Inquisition: 1 point

Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges: 0.5 points (technically this is a moral dilemma episode, but his choices don’t matter much here so I’m awarding half points)

Odo:

The Alternate: 0.5 points (primary suffering in the past)

The Die is Cast: 1 point

Broken Link: 1 point

The Ascent: 0.5 points (Quark suffers too)

When it Rains: 1 point

Quark:

The Jem’Hadar: 0.5 points (Sisko suffers too)

Body Parts: 0.5 points (suffering partly a result of Quark’s choices, but not very directly)

The Ascent: 0.5 points (Odo suffers too)

Worf:

By Inferno’s Light: 1 point (other characters suffer, but Worf suffers a particular bad thing that no other major character does onscreen so I’m giving him full points here)

Til Death Do Us Part/Strange Bedfellows: 0.5 points (Ezri suffers too)

Jake:

The Visitor: 0.5 points (Technically speaking this is a moral dilemma episode, but Jake’s primary suffering throughout the episode is due to a situation out of his control so I’m giving half points)

Shattered Mirror 0.5 points (Sisko suffers too)

The Muse: 1 point (Jake is severely manipulated, I don’t think his choices count here)

The Reckoning: 1 point (others suffer but Jake suffers more)

[sapphosewrites]

top 10 ds9 fan fics you've written, ranked?

Oooh, tough question, friend! I don't even know what the criteria for this would be, because the most AO3 popular ones are not always my favorites... Okay, you know what, here we go. I'm just going to go for it and make some decisions. I'm giving myself a rule, though, that I can only chose one from a series, so I'm not just listing everything in the Terok Nor AU. I'll also try to hit different kinds of fics I've written.

10.) After the End of the World: A Survey of Seminal Works of Cardassian Post-Apocalyptic Literature from cross-posted to tumblr. 533 words, "An examination of the Cardassian post-apocalyptic literary genre before and after the Dominion War." This isn't my most popular or my best written but it's one of my favorites; I like in-world diegetic texts and worldbuilding and I'm obsessed with the idea of post-canon Cardassia as post-apocalypse.

9.) Never Have I Ever from The Game Is Afoot, 1,294 words, T, "Julian introduces Garak to the human game never have I ever." This was fun to write and is fun to reread every time! I often spend a lot of fic space on angst and identity and all the reasons why it's a bad idea for Julian and Garak to get together, but in this one we just get to spend time seeing them be clever and enjoy each other's company.

8.) Tribbles, Togetherness, and the Great River, 1,742 words, G, "In their shared quarters, Nog and Jake discuss tribbles, pets, and telling their families about their relationship." This is my only full standalone Jake/Nog fic, and it's another that was a pleasure to write and still makes me smile. It's fun to spend a sweet moment with two young people figuring out how they fit together.

7.) Del Floria's Tailor Shop, 336 words, also known as the space tumblr one. I think this is possibly the funniest thing I've ever written.

6.) Push Me Til I Break, 4,653 words, M, also known as the one where Garak interrogates Julian, and the role play goes wrong. Maybe the most tense thing I've ever written, and really leans into the ways in which two deeply hurting people can choose to hurt or hold.

5.) Growth, 45,843 words, T, "Julian and Garak grapple with their pasts and their feelings for each other at the end of the series." My super long post-canon Cardassia fic, back when I had no idea how to string a multi-chapter idea together. There's a lot I would change if I wrote this now (I've grown as a writer in many ways, including my ability to have scene transitions), but some of the conversations and moments in here are still absolute favorites of mine, particularly around ideas of self-forgiveness, the clash between values and actions, and the importance of choice.

4.) Predetermination, 22,200 words, T, Mirror Bashir arrives at the station and suddenly the nature/nurture debate has never had higher stakes. This is one of the places I think I've been most successful in using sci fi to ask big questions that hopefully resonate in the modern day, about who we are and how we become. Also, the ending takes inspiration from one of my favorite TNG episodes, and that was cool too.

3.) Especially the Lies, 13,019 words, T, "Something is going on with Garak, and no one knows what, except for possibly Julian Bashir." This is my only archive-warning-applied fic and it was really important to me to tell a story about care, for a character who I think doesn't believe he's allowed to have any, in a real world circumstance that too often people have to go through alone.

2.) Necessary Storms, 15,149 words, T, Julian and Starfleet Spouse Garak get entangled in Trill politics. I feel like this is one of the things I've written that most feels like it could be an episode of Star Trek, and is also a fairly unsubtle (though initially unintentional) way to explore populism, demagoguery, resource distribution, and revolt at a very particular moment in national politics with the aesthetic distance that sci fi offers.

1.) Old Friends: An Enigma Tale from Terok Nor AU. I'm exceedingly proud of this whole series, which started as just "what can I do with the idea of dabo boy Julian" and has turned into a sweeping journey covering how Terok Nor becomes Deep Space 9. This most recent installment is perhaps not indicative of the series as a whole, but it was a lot of fun to write and is also a dip into my other favorite genre aside from sci fi (murder mystery).

[tigereyes45]

Fic Writing Review 2024

I was tagged by @kcscribbler back at the beginning of the month. (Sorry for the delay, I wanted to wait until the New Year had come in.)

Stats:

Words Written: 141, 025

Fics posted: 89

Fandoms written for: Dragon Age (Inquisition, II, Veilguard, Origins), Fire Emblem Awakening, Mass Effect (Trilogy, and Andromeda), Merlin BBC, RWBY, Star Trek (TOS, AOS, DS9, Disco, ENT, Lower Decks, TNG, and VOY) Tales of Arcadia, The Walking Dead, and Transformers Prime.

Top 5 Fics by Comment Thread

A Scarcity of Comfort (12, Star Trek TOS)

Break Out (9, Mass Effect Trilogy)

To Traverse Again (7, Star Trek TOS)

Identity (7, Star Trek TOS)

Cold and Quiet (6, Dragon Age Inquisition)

Top 5 Fics by Kudos

A Scarcity of Comfort (97, Star Trek TOS)

Fever Peak (97, Star Trek TOS)

Winding Down (82, Star Trek TOS)

Identity (80, Star Trek TOS)

You Were Right (74, Star Trek TOS)

Longest/shortest Completed Fics (there's a 4 way tie for shortest):

A Forged Relationship (Star Trek AOS, 13,207 words)

Keeper (Mass Effect Andromeda, 100 words)

I'll Still Protect you (Mass Effect Trilogy, 100 words)

Victory (Mass Effect Trilogy, 100 words)

Go Back (Mass Effect Trilogy, 100 words)

Personal Favorites That Didn't Make the List:

Passing (Dragon Age Veilguard, 988 words)

Pristine (Star Trek Voyager, 2,689 words)

Rules:

Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some qualitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

Artists and gif makers, please also join in with any quantitative or qualitative stats or facts you want to share about your year.

I'll tag @nalascat @illegalpaladin @greeneyedwildthing @bj-cuntycunt @starrylol @very-bad-poetry-captain

[ectogeo-rebubbles]

I hopelessly yearn for the horror of Sloan getting his hands on Julian earlier in the series when he’s still wide eyed and naive and full of joy and grooming him until he breaks in exactly the way Sloan would like but trying to slot ANYTHING to do with Section 31 into the earlier seasons without completely rewriting canon is beyond me. Thus far the best I can manage is like, Sloan having crossed paths with Julian and becoming a little obsessed with him and just biding his time until the war and the augment reveal give him an excuse to finally make contact directly, but that’s pretty weak to me. I’ve considered Sloan being stationed covertly on DS9 posing as a Bajoran civilian, with the intent of monitoring all the other security risks on the station, but instead finding himself spending way too much time observing the good doctor who is somehow too smart and too stupid for his own good. Would he justify his close monitoring of Julian because Julian is inexplicably friends with a dangerous Cardassian. Would he decide that Sisko isn’t taking that potential security risk seriously and decide he has to take it upon himself to steer Julian away from someone who could compromise Federation security. Would he just toss aside all pretence and decide he just wants a twink boyfriend.

Anyway, I just like thinking about early seasons Julian having all his hope and joy carved out of him deliberately by someone who thinks they’re doing him a favour. Idk, it just tickles me.

I love all of this as a whumpy concept!! I really like the idea of Sloan scrutinizing his connection to Garak 🥰 Especially bc we were DENIED that in Inquisition.

Okay I’m gonna try to help you imagine how early seasons sloanshir would reasonablywork. First of all though, here is a random unreasonable cracky idea lmaoooo: Sloan (who is just a regular Starfleet Intelligence officer for the moment) meets Julian one time in early seasons, falls for him, and then specifically starts s31 from scratch to try to eventually lure in Julian Bashir (and corrupt him 💕). Corollary: Julian is obvs into spy stuff but never joined Starfleet Intelligence so Sloan deduces that clearly what he is into is bad boys. 😈

Okay now forget all that silliness and let’s return to something slightly more sane lol. (Barely sane actually bc it involves how nonsensical canon itself is lmao.)

At the beginning of s3, the Founders get put onto s31’s radar. By mid-s4, s31 has not only decided to kill every changeling but has also developed the virus and infected Odo with it. s31 must have been keeping a close eye on ds9 between s3e2 and s4e11. Maybe Sloan was working on Julian all during this time, and information he got out of him led to the decision to destroy the Founders. Maybe Sloan befriended him (and/or fucked him) while wearing a totally different face, or met him online and has only talked to him in text form. (Maybe him crushing Julian’s spirit is a long con, a slowburn. Maybe Julian’s depression during the war is in part a result of Sloan manipulating and gaslighting him since s3.)

Anyway, I really think Sloan would have had a stronger chance of tricking Julian into being recruited if he had gotten to him earlier. He would still have to lie about s31’s true purpose, but at least Julian would not yet be so jaded. If Sloan had gotten to Julian on the heels of his canonical “surveillance lessons” with Garak, he might have had a hope of convincing him it would be the kind of light and breezy and unambiguously heroic spycraft Julian would want it to be, unlike the reality.

This isn’t quite the same as what you crave, but Wicked Game by @hellostuffedtiger is a spectacular fic exploring what would have happened if Sloan got to Julian before Julian ever met Garak. It’s not quite early seasons Julian like you want though. It also doesn’t show the corruption process, but rather the outcome of that process, after a few very specific canon divergence points. It just lives in my head rent free and there is a slim possibility it will scratch part of your itch, so I gotta mention it. <3

[dragontamerno3]

DS9 S3 E25 - Facets

Another good one and one that was a lot of fun to watch, too.

The whole time I kept thinking how the IRL cast must of had some fun playing different people for a minute. Their mannerisms, their speech, all of it was so different for who they normally are and it was interesting from a character standpoint, fun from a break in character place, and intriguing to see the small ways each previous life changed Jadzia.

Obviously seeing Quark femme it up for a while was a silly twist but I think I really enjoyed seeing Miles as Tobin and Kira as Lela the most. With Lela it honestly felt like she was a sweet but powerful old grandma that would give the best hugs before she stormed some political stage. With Tobin, he was a shy, anxious man that I just wanted to hug and tell him that he was going to be okay.

Sisko as Joran was one I was looking forward to and it was pretty much everything I expected. I'm glad she put her Klingon fighting skills to use, in a way proving him wrong about how 'weak' she is.

I liked Curzon the least. I'm not sure if that was the intended read on him but I know I wouldn't be able to spend two minutes alone in a room with him. Him as Odo was probably doubly bad cause I'm still not Odo's biggest fan. But then they went and made it weird with the whole love storyline. If they had made it love like granddaughter or something I would have accepted it but this was too icky for me.

That aside, I did get a little teary eyed when he saw Sisko for the first time. The way Sisko's face lit up at the idea of talking to his best friend again? Such a good moment. And then there was the Quark kiss, that was fun too.

I am happy that Jadzia got some closure there and that Odo and her now how a deeper understanding of each other because of their bonding. Odo is probably my least favorite person on the show but I think he deserves someone who actually understands him to an extent.

But the B plot!!!

Nog passed his test! He's going to Starfleet Academy!

And Rom buying a cadets uniform from Garak?! Best dad ever!

My very favorite moment, though, was Rom cornering Quark in a hallway and threatening to burn the bar down in Quark ruined it for Nog again. The fact that he admitted that he loves his son more than latinum had me literally punching the sky in cheers. Best moment and best dad.

7/10 - I want to give this an 8 but honestly the whole Curzon thing really icked me out, like a lot.

[thegeminisage]

okay it's star trek update time. saturday we watched voy's "demon" and "one" and last night we did voy's "hope and fear" and ds9's "tears of the prophets."

demon (voy):

this one was so fun. i kept yelling THE GOOP IS ODO and it wasn't ofc but it was fun to imagine

a y class planet...i feel like we only ever see m class...this was very exciting

always exciting when they break out the space suits too

the ship landing is so silly and ridiculous. only slightly less ridiculous than the saucer splitting from tng

for a few minutes there i thought we were gonna have the tom paris/harry kim version of 2.25 resolutions. like because they could only breathe the planet's air. really really really funny

i love that the solution was to just let them clone everybody. imagine after voyager leaves and you can choose any crewman and all the little slimes want tuvok so you just have a bunch of tuvok slimes running around. 10/10

one (voy):

MY GIRL SEVEN....................

this one was soooososososo good

first of all, wtf at chakotay like talking to janeway about her bond with seven...that was gay as hell

i loved also she and the doctor eventually getting tired of each other. their scenes are so funny because they're both really autistic but in different directions

i love also when she gets put through the fire and succeeds...there is nothing she can't do. she really ran that whole ship on her own WHILE HALUCINATING i'm so proud of her

how clever to kind of leave it up in the air whether or not that guy was real, also. i went back and forth on it a few times and finally landed on not real only second before the reveal

her dream about being alone in the snowy tundra...damn. she like hates other people but also hates being alone. what a way to be

hope and fear (voy):

i had to physically pause this one multiple times to collect myself re: janeway/seven

the holodeck game. the argument where they both hit below the belt. the bit in the brig where they reference the first thing that happened in the brig and janeway had to touch seven's little eye thingy in the soft mood lighting wwwwow

i think the ethical dilemma here was a little silly though. like, my guy, you were banking on the ruthless guys who were stronger than the borg and also wanted to eat everyone else for lunch on helping YOU? like everybody say thanks janeway for getting rid of something even worse than the borg! not fuck you janeway for not letting the borg get killed by them

idk. i don't see that she did anything too awful. she sent them back home and saved them from the borg and saved the borg from them and then also got her people thru borg space AND got a gf out of it. leave her alone

i did like all the stuff about intuition vs borg knowledge though...janeway and her intuition remind me of kirk, but janeway and seven both fighting in the brig and then making up in the brig (complete with the touching) is very spones bread and circuses of them.

tears of the prophets (ds9):

man, sorry to say this, but...this script sucked bad. i dont think avery brooks is capable of phoning it in but we probability saw him get pretty close here. that final monologue, which should have ben about dax and was instead about the prophets, was poorly written

and dax's last words being about a baby - come on.

and kira and odo's argument - he is not so stupid he would do this without expecting her to be mad

and the scene between dukat and damar...where was the tension?? crazy dukat great but he's been better

even the thing with quark and bashir moping around in the holodeck because of dax was bad on paper

like, all of these things were saved (well, some of them were saved) by admirable performances from a charming and talented cast, but whew! like, julian looked so sad this became funny. kira and odo kissing to make up was so charming i forgave the premise

but dax's death was a bad death and her final arc being about a FUCKING baby was really sexist. sisko leaving not sure if he is coming back bc of some prophet thing right when bajor needs him most seems ooc. and his monologue to dax not being ABOUT. DAX. was a crime. poor terry farrell.

overall s6 has been great so far aside from a couple of bumps but man did it end on a sour note. i have heard season 7 is divisive so i guess we will see!!

TONIGHT: ds9's "image in the sand" and "shadows and symbols."

[ineedfandomnow]

Now that I've processed the ds9 finale I really like it. I felt that given the storylines set up over the course of the seasons. Every character got what they worked for.

Sisko being unable to settle down with Kasidy made sense because for the very get go we see that despite wanting to do so life just has different plans for him. I felt it made sense for him to be with the prophets but I would've like to explore that part more. I would've liked to know what it meant for the Bajoran people and what was perceived generally (especially in starfleet). Also felt sad for Kasidy poor lady was left alone to raise a child.

Kira taking over ds9 and letting go of Odo I really liked cause that was exactly what their character was supposed to do. I just hope Odo is well in the Great Link.

I also liked that Miles and the O'Brien's finally got a break. I feel really bad for Miles because he has been throught so much, the Cardissian War, the whole Borg plot, being taken for trial in Cardassia, the mental prison in Hard Times and then the Dominion war. Poor dude has been battered.

Julian and Ezri becoming a couple was intresting. I didn't mind the pairing and honestly I liked them quite cute. But I didn't like how the writters made it into a whole love triangle with Worf Ezri and Julian. I would've liked for it to be a fresh start for Ezri with Julian. And I also feel that the whole hookup with Worf and subsequent realisation of having feelings for Julian was a terrible plotline.

Garak getting to go home to rebuild Cardassia was very well done. Also knowing the general plot of A Stitch In Time his plot gave a sort of justice to him. I also liked that the Cardassians finally get to understand why the Bajorans feel about them a certain way.

I loved the evolution of Ferenginar to becoming a little more just as a society and I loved that Rom is the next Nagus. 10/10 for this. Also good for Quark and his bar.

I think that's all I have to say about ds9 for now.

[vaguely-concerned]

there are a lot of daddy issues to go around on DS9 in general, but odo, bashir and garak are really in their own special little fucked up 'what am I but wrought in my father's image' club

[svartalfhild]

A Case for Jezri

Listen, I know how the DS9 fandom feels about Jezri, but I just wanted to take a moment to explain why I like it. I'm not asking people to agree; I just want to give it some love because there are things to enjoy and to explore in that ship that haven't gotten any discussion.

(Also why is 99.9% of the Jezri tag just people tagging their hate? Who raised y'all? Please be respectful towards your fellow fans who may not feel the same as you.)

I'm no stranger to finding my gold nuggets in the trash heap when it comes to Star Trek ships. I'm the type to find the things to love about something that was executed poorly by the writers. Datasha is my TNG OTP. Need I say more.

So don't think I don't understand some of the main objections people have to Jezri. I get it. I do. So with that out of the way, let's get into the good stuff.

Julian's personal story, particularly in the later parts of the show, has a strong motif of loneliness, which comes from two or three different aspects of his life. The first one is of course the fact that he's an augment. He's socially isolated by his mental and physical superiority. No one can keep up with him, and he has to diminish himself to fit in, especially before the truth comes out. The second is the evolving lives of the people closest to him. There reaches a point where nearly all of his closest friends are either married or in committed relationships, and he's the free floater who has to hope he can still fit into their lives somewhere. The third aspect is his own shit luck with relationships. No one sticks with him for very long for whatever reason. And there was the everything with Jadzia on top of it all. Poor man couldn't catch a break.

And then along comes Ezri. Quark is quick to treat her as same old Dax with a new coat of paint, for whose affections he immediately tries to generate competition with Julian, because he is a sexist little toad. Julian, to his great credit, is like "what the fuck, Quark" and makes it clear that he sees Ezri as a different person, not Jadzia 2.0 who he now has a chance with. Ezri is his new friend, and he's not going to be pulled into Quark's bullshit.

The writing is unfortunately rather uneven when it comes to showing us the establishment and development of that friendship, so we have to piece together the vibes from several disparate moments, some big and meaningful and others more incidental, but that's not too difficult for me. Fandom has done more with less.

Anyway! Through all of that, we kind of get to see that Ezri sees Julian differently than Jadzia did in a way that allows them to click very quickly. Jadzia sort of saw Julian as an adorable puppy excitedly wagging his tail at her (and by the time he matured into someone who was more her type, he'd stopped pursuing her and then she was with Worf). Ezri sees him as the charming guy who knows how to have a good time. It seems natural to me that Julian would quickly latch onto someone who thought his holosuite adventures were demonstrative of a healthy sense of fun and not a sign of immaturity. Ezri is literally the bad bitch he pulled by being autistic.

And they are such adorable awkward nerds with each other! The big eyes! The soft touches! The fumbling! The trying to keep things platonic because they just like each other so much that they're afraid of messing things up! The breaking down and making out anyway because they can't escape the vibes! *chef's kiss*

The thing that completely sold me on Jezri, though, was their moment together at the end of the last episode where Julian is mourning Miles' departure and feeling lonely and then Ezri rolls up like "Hey~!" and expresses the desire to have dinner and do holosuite adventures with him. That was so beautiful to me. Everything is changing and so many of his friends have left and it's the ultimate pit of loneliness for him, but then there's Ezri. He has her now and he's not alone and the war is over and there's hope and the start of something new and soft. I cried, y'all. Like maybe it's because I'm at a place in my life where I feel left behind while I watch all my friends move on with their lives, but man, the way Ezri represents the light at the end of a dark tunnel for Julian just got me so good.

Here are some of the headcanons I have to supplement the sparse canon material and give further depth and enjoyment to my shipping experience:

They're both bisexual.

Since they're both healthcare professionals, they have a lot to talk about where their fields intersect. They make a great team when they're working, but this also results in them developing a shorthand with each other that is somewhat infuriating for others.

Ezri's closeness with Julian allows her to better develop her friendship with Garak, and there are several times when all three of them get up to shenanigans together.

They sometimes get each other new tea blends to try as a fun little surprise.

Ezri tries to teach Julian some of the gymnastics stuff she remembers at least once with mixed results.

Julian particularly loves hugging Ezri, and she particularly loves holding his hand.

Julian persuades Ezri to read Lord of the Rings, and she gets really into it, so they end up doing a holosuite adaptation as Legolas and Gimli. Ezri plays with her beard a lot.

Quark fucking hates how cute they are and Kira makes a point to tell him about every sweet moment she sees between them just to fuck with him.

Ezri very much gets in on the Fuck With Section 31 train and helps Julian do spy shit. The criminal psychology knowledge comes in handy.

Anyway, these are my feels. Please don't air your grievances here. I just want to sail on my dinghy and hope someone out there is sailing with me.

[jazzypizzaz]

Fanfic writer interview meme

thanks @obstinatecondolement for tagging me!

How many works do you have on AO3? 79

What's your total AO3 word count? 337,715

Your Top 5 stories by kudos

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This DS9, Quodo cuddling, Odo is a blanket. Of all my fics this is the one I’m most perplexed by its kudo count. Are people that hungry for hurt/comfort pre-slash? Was it on a rec list of a popular blogger I’m unaware of? I don’t know, like it’s very nice it's good fic, but not one I think about often.

What Is This Feeling, So Sudden and New? DS9, Quodo, Odo adjusts to being solid, drinks all sorts of drinks, and has a sexual awakening. Now this is the fic I’m most proud of. That makes sense. Sexual tension! Plot! Emotional beats paced just right! (imo)

like to the lark at break of day arising OFMD, Stede/Ed’s first time, silly but emotional sex. This one I posted just at the right time in the fandom, and I had a lot of fun with it. Dumb banter, Stede gets carried away, Ed nuts and cries, I’m hitting all my favorite tropes lol.

Made Me Feel (Shiny and New) DS9, the sweetest hard Quodo, slow banging D/s double bluff. I never question a smut fic doing well. I assume you’re in it for the same reason I wrote it lmao.

Down On My Knees (I Wanna Take You There) DS9, Quodo, blowjob and tentacle sex. Ditto. :-P

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 

I always try to!!! The exception being if I’m not paying attention to fandom at all at the time, I go through phases like anything.

As a reader, I love to comment for the author interaction -- especially because sometimes you mention something you liked and it unlocks a whole interesting train of thought from the author about the behind the scenes insights, like a bonus meta. I’m obsessed by this pairing, you are too, please tell me everything hell yeah.

Do you write crossovers? 

I’ve written one Glee/TNG and one Glee/Harry Potter. Not generally though.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Yes. Oh idk whatever I think is hot that the character also might be into. It has to be goofy, somewhat ridiculous, and definitely too many feelings are involved... 

Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Not that I know.

Have you ever had a fic translated? 

I think someone asked me for permission once or twice, but I don’t remember if I saw the final result.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

No, gosh that’d really have to be the right person because it sounds maddening as a process. The potential to be more fun?? But potentially more frustrating.

What's your all time favorite ship? 

Oh you know. Somehow I started writing for rubber head aliens and never looked back.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but probably never will? 

I’m bad at starting things (there are tons of fic prompts I squirrel away for a rainy day), but compulsive about finishing them. If I have more than a couple hundred words written, by jove I’ll figure out a way to get to something I can call a final product that I share, even if it's several years later. 

Even when I’ve posted WIPs, almost the entire fic was written, I just needed to iron out details in the second part and only published the first part to stop myself from messing with it. Actually, exception that proves the rule (?) Coin-Operated Boy is my first true WIP, where I have a long list of ideas brainstormed, but I’m writing a bit by the seat of my pants rather than having all the plot points mapped out already. We’ll see how that goes, always fun to try something new!!

I’m also still committed to finishing the fic I started where Quark and Odo meet in prison and escape together based on this one comic about Rocket/Groot I read. I have like 7k written but there’s a looooot of rough sketchy bits and both details and broad strokes I have to figure out first.

What are your writing strengths? 

Managing tone? Something I enjoy doing anyway -- zipping along on a wild ride from goofy to angsty to heartfelt to absurd and back again. I’ve also been told I’m good at weird banter lol.

What are your writing weaknesses? 

Awkward run on sentences where I’m trying to pack too much in at once. PLOT ??? WHAT IS PLOT why can’t the characters just have a lot of feelings for no reason idk idk. being heavy handed with metaphors and ~themes~

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet, but want to? 

I want to write for Phlox sometime. I’m sure there’s a Quark rare pair I haven’t touched yet that’ll get obsessed with enough for a oneshot lol.

What's your favorite fic that you've written?

“What Is This Feeling?” has my whole heart. 

"Dinner for One" also has a special place - getting out my Sisko family feels, plus I pulled off making Siskuark happen (briefly) lol.

--

@wowbright @chacusha @quodo-brainrot tagging you if you want to participate I'd love to read your respones!

[lostyesterday]

for the ST ask game – either the TNG or Voyager crew and who would be the best to worst at playing baseball in a Take Me Out To the Holosuite style episode

I love this question so I’ll do both!

TNG:

Data: He loves playing games with really specific rules and he has super strong physical abilities. Including him almost feels like cheating though, and he might think so too. I can see him being the umpire like Odo was in DS9. I think he would greatly enjoy that as well.

Guinan: This seems exactly like the kind of random thing she’d be unexpectedly really good at, and she did live on Earth for a long time so it’s entirely possible she’s already played the game and gotten really good at it.

Tasha: Really athletic and competitive and would clearly do well.

Beverly: She’s athletic and a good team player. Baseball doesn’t really seem like her kind of sport, but I still think she’d be very competent at it.

Worf: Technically he was in the DS9 episode, but he’s still a TNG main so I’m ranking him here. He’s pretty good at baseball.

Riker: Another fairly good baseball player, and I could see him getting competitive and taking it very seriously too.

Deanna: I think she’d be a pretty average player, not notably bad or good.

Geordi: He doesn’t seem like he’d be that into sports, plus I’m not sure how accessible baseball would be for him with his visor. As a visually disabled person who has technically attempted to play baseball myself, it’s very hard to play without normal vision. That ball is so tiny and moves so fast. (I made an extremely ill-advised attempt to bat in a school PE class. The ball did not hit me in the face but it was a close thing.) I can see an argument that Geordi’s visor might also be an advantage, though, if he can use it to track things like speed, in which case he’d be much higher on this list.

Wesley: He’d try his best, but he really doesn’t seem like he’d enjoy team sports.

Picard: I cannot picture Picard playing baseball. It’s not even that he’s not athletic, his existence as a character just feels in every way antithetical to the concept of baseball. If TNG had a baseball episode, he would somehow find a way to avoid participating, unless of course he was forced to by Q or something. He would hate it very much.

Voyager:

Janeway: Put in a similar situation as the original DS9 episode, I think Janeway would be just as competitive as Sisko, plus she has strong athletic skills. Baseball doesn’t seem like her kind of sport exactly, but she would make it work.

Chakotay: A sports person and generally athletic. I think he’d have a good time.

Tuvok: He could be good at baseball, the question is whether he would take it seriously. I think if it was framed as a tactical exercise and there was some genuine incentive to beat the other team he would do an extremely competent job.

The Doctor: I had a huge amount of difficult ranking him. In theory, he has the capability of being the best player, but he seems to have little interest in physical hobbies (which makes sense for his character and situation), so I don’t know if he would take it seriously. It might theoretically make sense for him to be the umpire. I do think he would like getting to be the final arbiter of all the rules and yelling at everyone so I think he’d go for it.

B’Elanna: She’d be a fairly competent player, but I don’t think she’d enjoy the game very much. She’s more of a solo sports person.

Harry: Baseball doesn’t seem at all like his kind of thing, but he’d try his best and be fairly decent at it.

Seven: She would claim to find the situation ridiculous but actually become super competitive. She has strong physical abilities, but her real downfall is that she would just be really bad at team sports. She would absolutely get kicked out of the game for breaking the rules.

Tom: I can see Tom liking baseball (it actually makes a lot of sense given his 20th century America obsession), I just don’t think he’d be good at it. I think it might actually be really funny if Tom claimed to be an expert at it and then was just absolutely terrible at actually playing.

Kes: I just don’t think she would be interested.

Neelix: He would try his best, but I think the rules would seem silly to him and he’d have trouble learning all of them and then get kicked out of the game for doing something wrong accidentally.

[slippery-domjot-balls]

DS9 S4 E14 Return to Grace - Slippy Analysis

There is an interesting dichotomy at play in this episode. Kira and Dukat actually work well together for practical purposes just as Dukat states. The reason behind this is they each represent a radical philosophy that compliments the other while being in conflict (Kira less so but once held more reckless beliefs. We will get into that).

Kira has developed and grown as a character over the past few seasons. At first she was a raw, traumatized soldier still fighting a guerrilla war on the frontlines. In her mind each instance of her life was a continuation of the fight against Cardassian oppressors and torturers. Her life was subjected to unimaginable cruelty and pains that break people down, even people like Kira. She was creative and imaginative, but her recklessness got in the way. Kira lacked the normal capacity for trust that most in a regular setting would innately have. She was in a dangerous state of self-preservation. Her life had one mode, survival mode.

This made her a potent influence for spontaneous solutions and problem solving under immense pressure and little time to act. A perfect source of utility for Dukat in his current fallen state.

We see these traits in detail as she explains the weaponry differences to Tora Ziyal (our lovely little adopted sister). Kira knows how to be lethal. She was once prepared to fight everyone around her because she never knew when the battle would begin, so she would just star a battle to keep things on recognizable terms. She was chaotic. These are not all bad things. These traits kept her alive and made her indispensable to the Resistance and the Bajoran Provisional Government.

But she was given security and love when she was stationed on DS9. She was given a place where she could safely open up to others, learn to delegate emotional dependency on worthy people around her, and finally begin to remove the walls that so viciously kept her from the kind people in her life. She could be loved. She could be vulnerable. She could be in a state of emotional peace that so many of us crave.

Eventually you need to set down the weapons. Kira learned this. She has been able to create relationships that sustain her and help her heal from years of trauma.

We need to take a detour and compliment these prosthetics. With each movement they seem organic and do not fold like plastic. They move with Marc Alaimo's body. It is incredible to witness.

Gul Dukat is the polar opposite to all of Kira's traits. He is violent by choice and not by external trauma, even though it could be argued that much of Cardassian society and history is traumatic. He expresses violence because of his overconfidence born of authority. He represents bureaucracy, extreme order, and an expectation that all things will comply with his desires.

When he becomes uncomfortably flirtatious with Kira we see that power struggle of his desire for control against Kira's will to be autonomous. He hides behind a controlled persona with the hopes that he can control Kira. He serves his own wicked ambitions.

Those computer designs are beautiful! Okay, detour over.

Together they both are what the other needs to transition into with some moderation.

Kira still represents the freedom fighter that Dukat now needs to become in order to regain his position as a military leader for Cardassia.

Dukat showcases the diplomat, the "traditionalist", and commander that Kira has been forced into becoming by the Provisional Government. Traits that Kira can learn and tailor into what she feels is genuinely her. She still rejects the pieces that do not fit, and rightly so, but she is growing into an iteration of herself that is happier, healthier, and more completely her.

And here is the glimpse of growth that makes Dukat particularly fascinating. Tora Ziyal.

From her perspective Dukat has given up everything that he finds important in order to be her father. He has sacrificed in order to love her. A parent is supposed to do that. Children thrive upon the love and sacrifices their parents make on their behalf.

The incredibly frustrating thing about Dukat is that Ziyal shows that Dukat has it within himself to be great. Imagine if his ambition was to be everything that Ziyal cherished. If he could become a figure of love, authority, and strength that was observable by everyone, and not just the perspective of his daughter, he could have become an incredible protagonist.

His denial of that potential and his descent caused by chasing his base, selfish ambition is the true evil of the episode. He had an opportunity and he threw it away. His lust for power, greed for authority, envy for sexual connection, and perverse obsession with Bajor is his demise. The loss of Dukat's potential is tragic for Ziyal and the rest of us.

Dukat in a Klingon Birdy of Prey is a recipe for disaster. But still a delicious recipe. I'd eat it.

Ultimately, Ziyal embodies what Dukat should have been but never could be humble enough to accept . She has what he wanted from Bajor- independence, untainted ambition, and a positive outlook on what life could be despite the ugly evils around her.

The fact that Dukat had the restraint to let her go is a credit to his potential.

Yet, Kira is the hero here. Don't mistake that. Kira never ceases to deliver as a character. I hope Nana Visitor received an award for her acting efforts as Kira. Her ability to lead someone as viciously authoritarian as Dukat displays her strength of charisma.

Imagine how fiercely protective Dukat would have had to become regarding Ziyal. He was committed to killing her before he decided to reject his inner evils and accept her into his life as a permanent fixture of his family. That is a huge change of character. He faced immense opposition and pressure from Cardassian society, his career, and his own family. Yet, he maintained the course and went all in for Ziyal.

Now Kira tells him that he must let her go to DS9 and be out of his care. Given his personality that is no small ask. Kira convinced him to agree because she taught Dukat that Ziyal will be condemned to turn into something like him if he refuses.

Well done, Kira! Well done!

Thank you for reading! Now take your sloppy kiss and keep scrolling!