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melancoley · 12 days ago

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WHAT MOVES THE WORLD

SYNOPSIS: when you’re born into a burning house, you think the entire world is on fire – that was kakashi’s reality. always surrounded by fragments of war, kakashi grew up with only the purpose of surviving beating in his heart. for him, nothing else existed in the world but war – that was kakashi’s philosophy. until you showed up. and, like spring, you came with the promise of hope and warmth and ended up bringing an inevitable change that would forever alter the life, and heart, of hatake kakashi.

PAIRING: hatake kakashi x gn!reader WORD COUNT: 5.811.

TAGS: soulmate!au, strangers to lover(s), fast-paced, unrequited love, kinda miscommunication. angst, fluff, hurt/no-comfort. CONTENT: gloomy kid kakashi. confused young-adult kakashi. heartbroken adult kakashi. shinobi reader. you are full of life & love talking to kakashi. conversations about stars, wars & love. he is the captain of your team one time.

WARNINGS: mention of sakumo's death but nothing explicit. you are going to break kakashi's heart, so be ready.

COLE'S NOTE: hiii, miss me? ♡ so !! this fic was originally a request and i posted this on my previous blog - if it sounds familiar, maybe u read the old version: ‘war & love’. i did some changes here and there to turn ur reading more pleasant and i hope i did a good job lol also !!! someone made one fanart based on this fic - if u know them/saw the fanart, please tell me so i can link it and give them the attention they deserve. ok, that's all ♡ have fun breaking hearts ♡

Not all stories are happy.

Not all soulmates are reciprocal.

Not all people could change their destiny.

Of course, in a perfect world, one person’s soulmate would also be another person’s soulmate. But reality went far beyond fairy tales and, as such, not all soulmates were mutual – and a person only knew their destiny when it was too late.

For years, people woke up with words tattooed on their wrists. They were simple, small words, just for the purpose of summarizing people’s love lives with their true love.

There were the luckier ones who woke up with little ‘fulfilled’ or ‘happily ever after’ on their wrists after their wedding. There were also those who had little ‘close call’ or ‘don’t try again’ written on their wrists on the coldest nights. And there were also those that read painfully ‘not destined’ or even ‘maybe in a next life’ that caused an inexplicable burning in the eyes of those who received such words. There were those who liked it, there were those who didn’t mind a mere tattoo and there were also those who did everything to force a soulmate into their lives.

The reality is that a person’s tattoo was already inscribed on them from the moment their soul found a body, always wanting to arrive at the right time to make itself noticed. And that was why no one could change their destiny.

But none of that matter. None of that mattered one bit to Kakashi. Because he only had one thing in mind: becoming strong and reliable. Kakashi didn’t care about dating or romance. Kakashi just wanted to do his duty as a shinobi.

But, of course, no matter how much he didn’t want to know, no matter how much he showed he didn’t want to know, his father was always attentive to him, always wanting to make him even minimally interested in the subject. After all, parents only wanted the best for their children.

And that was why Sakumo forced Kakashi to sit next to him on that cold, foggy morning.

“Kakashi, there is beauty in the midst of all this chaos.”

Sakumo’s voice was lost amid the fog, a phrase of pure harmony and delicacy trying to find its way in the thick maze of clouds and trees that invaded the territory.

There was a pause.

Kakashi didn’t deign to respond – he knew perfectly well where this conversation would end, he knew perfectly well what awaited him.

“The world is not driven by war alone.”

“Dad…”

Kakashi let a long and monotonous sigh escape his small lips, muffled by the dark mask, trapped inside the fabric without being able to show his total dissatisfaction.

“Not again. I have class in a bit.”

Kakashi stood up carefully and a little hesitantly. The truth is he didn’t want to leave his father alone. Kakashi didn’t want to abandon him once again at the mercy of fairy tales that did nothing but deceive a person.

However, Sakumo gave him no other choice. The cheap repetition of stories and princesses and kings became tiring – there was no longer any surprise in his father’s speech, there was no longer any hope for Kakashi.

As such, he was determined to abandon his father sooner than expected, his little feet taking short, uncertain steps to get away from his father, to get away from yet another unwanted conversation.

“Kakashi, why do you think there is war?”

Kakashi stopped his step with some abruptness.

That simple question from Sakumo echoed strongly inside Kakashi’s head, causing small dizziness in his mind where several possible answers appeared without any invitation, assaulting the little child’s sanity, making him question everything.

Why does war exist?

Of course, the main answer focused on people’s inability to be able to communicate with each other. There was also that need to come out and show their disgusting egos – that is the second answer to that question.

But there was something more.

There had to be something more.

People didn’t start wars just because they were bored.

…

Right?

Throughout his small and short existence, Kakashi has lived in a world of war and from an early age he was trained and taught to live and survive amidst so much devastation and anguish. Kakashi’s entire existence was shaped around the thick and aggressive sphere of what moved the world – war.

Would he have to know why?

In reality, Kakashi didn’t care if someone wanted to conquer the world, or if someone was kidnapped or killed unleashing days and months and years of pure destruction. Kakashi only had the mission to fight the war – that was all that mattered. Now the reason?

“I don’t care. Certainly the origin of all wars has an illogical basis. I have to stop the war. I don’t need to know why it started.”

Sakumo smiled and let his son go on his way, slowly losing sight of him as he began to be consumed by the fog.

Sakumo’s lips formed a perfect smile, a smile that left a trail of sadness with it because he knew perfectly well what was going to happen that day – Sakumo couldn’t really smile, not when he knew the end was near.

But there was something else hidden in his smile.

No matter how loud the voices screamed in his mind, the reality was that Sakumo feared for his son. Sakumo feared that Kakashi would never experience the beautiful pleasures of love as he himself had once experienced.

And there was nothing to do. There was nothing to do when Kakashi only focused on the human intellect. There was nothing to do when Kakashi purposely denied all the emotions that moved the world. There was simply nothing to do.

And Sakumo kept smiling.

His cold fingers gently stroked a small ‘there will be more in the next life’ that was fading due to the passage of time.

Several memories of a short and intense love began to haunt him in such a way that Sakumo didn’t even notice when the sadness on his lips turned into hope.

That hadn’t been the last life with his beloved – Sakumo knew that.

Then, muttering the answer to the question he himself asked his son, Sakumo stood up as well.

He knew perfectly well that there would be a second chance for his love. He knew perfectly well that Kakashi would realize the reality of the world they lived in. He knew perfectly well that everything would end well.

After all, there has never been a war without love.

Kakashi had lost everything.

There was nothing left for someone so young.

At fourteen, Kakashi’s entire life fell apart before his own eyes. Without family or friends, without anyone who could support him, he had lost everything – including his way in this world. Kakashi was wandering through the days, lost on the path of life, with no knowledge of maps or no guides that could help him.

Kakashi had lost everything, until he gained a new friendship, a new hope.

You appeared with the arrival of spring. Uncertain and always encouraging steps, an enormous desire for knowledge to be noticed in the intense shine of your sweet eyes, and wide smiles enchanting anyone.

You brought with you the breath of fresh air that prevailed at that time of year. Your feet encouraged so many beautiful flowers to bloom, new lives were created by you, new paths were drawn by your bare feet. The innocence of someone who had not yet experienced the evils of the world painted your smile with an extra tenderness that gave your cheekbones small splashes of the passion that the sun felt for you.

That spring day, when Kakashi saw you leaning over a hollow log, you carried something more than pure curiosity and amusement in your fingertips. You brought with you the hope of a new life for Kakashi, a hope that was felt by him when he, very clumsily, stopped you from rolling with the log to the bottom of the cliff.

Quickly, like someone blowing a leaf, something formed between you. A friendship? Probably. It was hard to be sure with Kakashi. But whatever you and he shared, you both knew it was something unique, something true.

A new stage in both of your lives was discovered in the other’s presence, a vast and longing wave of feelings beginning to form in you.

There was complicity between the both of you.

Since your first meeting next to that log, you and Kakashi shared an enviable complicity. Each one understood the other without the need to exchange words. A simple look, a simple sign, was enough for one to be understood by the other.

Days were spent together. Little secrets were exchanged amidst laughter and sighs, two distinct lives were soaked in pure melancholy, drenched in an extreme longing for a long-lost past.

And your adolescence has never looked so beautiful in the eyes of others.

Before you knew it, you and Kakashi have reached adulthood. And what used to be so simple and natural now seemed complicated with so many glances and hidden smiles and that hint of desire that clung to every word you exchanged.

Quickly, like someone forming a smile, beyond that very natural friendship, something more emerged between you. Something deeper began to emerge between the two of you.

“I don’t understand people’s admiration for the stars.”

You stretched a little as you sat next to Kakashi, the red blanket you always carried protecting you from the cold wind of that autumn night. “It’s something that has existed since the beginning of time. There are maps and photographs of them everywhere. Why the fascination?”

“It’s like war.”

The rest of your team rested silently on the ground, wrapped and cozy by a small fire starting by you, the tranquility of a successful mission being noted by their deep and steady breaths.

You and Kakashi were relaxing on one of the many branches of the most colorful and sturdy tree near your camp, your vision completely focused on the vast starry sky and the faint line of the horizon painted by the small mountains covered in snow.

There was silence on the ground and there was silence in the tree branches.

The breeze had been encouraged by several clouds venturing along unknown paths, giving you a little privacy on that very welcoming night. The moon was small, gaining strength for a more special date, slowly feeding on the desire of the most melancholy people who wrote to her. Every animal in the forest slept near you, the heat of the fire that crackled so loudly convincing the most diverse living beings to truly rest that night – except you and Kakashi.

“The war?”

You couldn’t contain the laughter that formed inside you, a sound so melodious and innocent that it woke up nature itself for a brief moment. The breeze had returned to you only to take with it the pure sound you released, keeping among the various clouds and stars the memory of your innocent question and laugh.

“How does the fascination of the stars compare to the war?”

“Humans can’t live without them.”

Kakashi was leaning against the trunk reading one of his typical books. None of his words were of the slightest interest. His uncovered eye cautiously read each line of the book. And he just waited for an answer. He waited for your curiosity. He waited for you.

“My dear Kakashi, I live well without both. Does that make me non-human?”

Kakashi let a long, amused sigh escape his lips and grab the echo of your new laugh. By closing the book and adopting a posture more favorable to a conversation, Kakashi let his movements continue over time.

The relaxing crackle of the fire calmly accompanied your team captain’s gestures as you fixed your eyes on Kakashi in the vain hope of encouraging him to speak or, at the very least, to hurry up.

However, there was no rush in Kakashi’s movements – all the time he took to sit next to you and stare at the stars seemed like an eternity to you.

But finally, Kakashi spoke.

“Of course you live well without both. But would you be the same person you are if they didn’t exist? Would you be complete if they didn’t exist?”

“Are you insinuating that we humans need to have stars and wars to be real?”

It seemed like an outrage. What Kakashi had just insinuated to you seemed to be wrapped in a thick layer of blasphemy and nonsense. The indignation at those words was reflected in the way you looked at the various leaves that framed Kakashi in an ethereal casing of change.

What was once a peaceful setting has now become a stage for nature. Strong winds and thick clouds slowly began to appear, hoping they could continue listening to Kakashi’s thoughts. Small nocturnal birds greeted you shyly with sweet and tender melodies that spread through the sleeping forest and made you smile.

“It’s what moves us.”

“I’m sorry,” you let out a fake laugh as you composed yourself on the tree branch.

You turned to Kakashi and focused your attention on his relaxed posture. Curiosity was caught in your eyes, and an eagerness to prolong that conversation could be seen in the way you so firmly and enthusiastically pronounced the words. “But I still don’t follow your reasoning.”

“A’right, let’s go step by step.”

“Please.”

Kakashi let out a small, almost inaudible laugh at your tender plea.

His eyes were now resting on your very curious posture: your arms adjusted the red blanket to also shelter Kakashi on that cold night; your eyes sparkled with the enthusiasm of yet another conversation with your best friend; your smile warmed Kakashi more than any blanket or fire could do.

“The stars, yea? We all know that since ancient times they have been the cause of all happiness and pain for people. People in ancient civilizations worshiped the stars as gods and saw in them countless stories and life lessons. And the very own people of those civilizations used the stars and their positions for agriculture and to make decisions. Are you following?”

“Yes, professor.”

You let out another laugh as you placed your legs over Kakashi’s and gently slid closer to him. The night was getting cold, the fire was on the ground and all you had was a red blanket and Kakashi.

And how he thanked all the gods for wearing a mask and for the moon being lazy that night. For, the pink tone he quickly adopted when he felt you so close to him only revealed how much he was waiting for that action of yours.

“So…”

A brief moment of silence followed after Kakashi’s statement.

Your captain’s reasoning was lost with your innocent act. It was a simple, affectionate gesture, something that had been repeated so many times. And, like every other time, Kakashi simply lost any coordination – the feeling of having you so close to him was fantastic, almost magical.

Thus, a brief moment of silence followed as Kakashi tried to find the thread of his thought, as Kakashi tried to grasp that thread without losing the very welcoming feeling of having you close to him.

“So,” he repeated again, his posture always relaxed and carefree, the mask being the perfect hiding place for his rosy face. “People adopted these little habits from their ancestors and that’s why there are so many people who still marvel at the stars. Of course, all romantics are also enchanted by them.”

“Why?”

Pause. Silence. Contemplation.

Why? In fact, that was always the question you asked. That was always the question that made sense to ask. Indeed, why?

Kakashi stared at the stars, trying to understand why. You stared at Kakashi, waiting for him to answer why.

But the answer never came. The answer never showed up and beautified your ears with sweet justifications and immaculate logic. For, realizing that there really wasn’t a defined reason for that question, Kakashi continued his reasoning.

Your captain’s voice was drawn out and always monotonous as if it were perpetually stuck in a timbre that conveyed a vast sense of comfort.

And you listened carefully to every word Kakashi said. You listened attentively to everything he had to say, always trying hard to follow his thoughts.

“Now the war.”

Kakashi paused briefly and took a deep breath.

A sigh that seemed to be filled with tiredness escaped his lips without realizing it – the memories of conversations he had with his father were felt at that exact moment. And they weighed. They weighed so much.

“War has always existed. Since the beginning of humanity there has been war. No wars, no humans. It is in our condition as human beings – it is our need. We crave destruction. We seek chaos. It’s in us. We need war to move us. Because, quite simply, we are the war. Without it, what would we do? Who would we be? That’s why there is fascination with it. That’s why there’s so much admiration. War is the stars of the most political. And the stars are the war of the most romantic.”

“So, by that logic, love is the war of the most philosophical.”

Kakashi looked at you with confusion expressed in his eye. The various and infinite stars reflected in Kakashi’s gaze showed that, in fact, he had not understood the use of your words.

Why did you decide to grab love out of nowhere?

Why did you decide to bring that taboo into the middle of a conversation that was so special to both of you?

Why?

You noticed the confusion in Kakashi’s lack of reaction. You realized that there must be doubt in your captain’s thoughts. Looking at Kakashi, it was easy to decipher the confusion he felt and you were intrigued, fascinated even.

“Do you really think that it is only war that moves the world?”

Kakashi opened his mouth but you didn’t know.

Kakashi closed his mouth again and you didn’t even notice.

In your captain’s mind, that last conversation he had with his father began to replay endlessly. Sakumo’s words came up whenever that dangerous topic was brought up – it seemed that Sakumo’s cheap philosophies tormented Kakashi until that day.

But it wasn’t always like that – no.

From the moment Kakashi met you, Sakumo’s haunting finally ceased.

There was no need to understand love because, quite simply, and even though he didn’t know it, Kakashi was experiencing that feeling so strong, so true. There was no need to recall a conversation that tried to explain something he was feeling, even though he couldn’t decipher that specific something.

Therefore, for several years, Sakumo’s words that were imbued with understanding and affection had been forgotten, completely erased from Kakashi’s memory.

No. Wrong. The words were still there, safe, inside Kakashi’s heart.

And it only took your question, your question so similar to Sakumo’s question, to free the words and torment Kakashi again.

“Kashi?”

You let out a laugh.

Kakashi certainly knew there was something more than war. He positively knew that not everything was destruction or contempt in this world. He had to know there was beauty and hope. He had to know that there was something good in this world. Kakashi had to know all this – right?

“Love?”

The word burned in Kakashi’s mouth, his melancholic eye locked in your eyes, the reflection of the universe trapped in your fingertips.

“Love.”

Your response came with a real, genuine smile. Your eyes showed a light and tenuous sadness while a tiny hope threatened to collapse at any moment.

You spoke like love itself. Delicate and light, your lips pronounced that word with precision and extreme ease.

You spoke like love itself. Your smile was genuine and embellished by the infinite stars, painted by the cool night breeze. Your eyes were sad, scared and fearful of the drastic change of an event, of a feeling.

You spoke like love itself. You spoke in a mix of emotions that were foreign to Kakashi, a thick ball of feelings and memories was trapped in your expression and made Kakashi feel confused.

You spoke like love itself, but Kakashi could only speak like war.

Kakashi spoke like war itself. Without any feeling, afraid of what his lips could utter, scared of the strength of the word itself.

Kakashi spoke like war itself. His every word and thought was completely calculated by him, no mistake to be uttered by Kakashi, the doubt that escaped his lips bringing a bit of wisdom.

Kakashi spoke like war itself. Kakashi spoke knowing perfectly well what awaited him, he spoke knowing perfectly well the answer to his question.

And between war and love there was a brief moment of silence. A moment of tranquility brought by the infinite stars.

Between war and love there was a moment of serenity that was heard only by your careful breathing, your gaze locked on each other, your smile slowly fading as time passed.

Love.

Was that the answer to his father’s question? No. It couldn’t be something so simple like that – but there was no such thing as simplicity in love.

“Love.”

Kakashi said his statement again, allowing a fragile and invisible line to escape his mask and take with it the bruning of that word.

There was something comforting in your gaze, something soothing in the way you held the blanket tight to you. There was something serene in the way you rested your legs on Kakashi’s, something welcoming in the way you and him stood together under that starry sky.

“Love” – Kakashi never found it easier to pronounce that word.

Days without you were boring.

Everyone knew that whenever you were on a mission without being on Kakashi’s team, he would roam the streets of the village like he used to do before he met you. Everyone knew that, for Kakashi, days without you simply didn’t make sense, not when you and he had already become fully accustomed to each other’s presence.

And that day wasn’t much different from the others.

Kakashi walked through the streets calmly. His feet shuffled without any energy, one of his hands sheltered in his pants pocket, the other holding a book close to his face.

Kakashi didn’t pay attention to what he was reading or where he was walking. Having already read and reread that book so many times, having already walked those streets countless times, Kakashi didn’t need to pay attention – because something else occupied his mind.

Your mission was somewhat complicated and you left with a good team, yes. But Kakashi couldn’t trust them, not when your integrity could be at risk – Kakashi could only worry about you.

A melancholy trail was left by Kakashi’s short and relaxed steps.

His eyes read and reread the same page over and over as his mind wandered to so many possible scenarios that could happen to you.

How he hated being away from you at a scary time like that.

Kakashi had been your team captain enough times for him to know you knew how to take care of yourself. But you were also distracted and that was what bothered Kakashi. A distraction from you, an ambush from them, a misfortune from the universe – everything seemed plausible when he was away from you.

He just wanted to be with you, to hear from you, to know that you were okay. He had to be with you.

But regardless of whether or not you managed to get home safe and sound, Kakashi spent his days monotonously without you by his side.

Even though Guy continued to make his occasional appearances, enticing Kakashi into meaningless duels; even though Naruto and Sakura could fill a fragment of the void you created; even though he knew you would be back next week, the reality is that Kakashi simply couldn’t live the days in your absence.

Not since that night under the starry sky. Not when the confession of a love came out disguised in a novice and somewhat shaky pronunciation.

What could Kakashi do? Just wandering around the village without your company. Just wishing every day was shorter than the last. Just peacefully wait for your arrival.

“Today I received my words!”

Naruto was always so loud.

Kakashi lazily looked up from his book and watched Naruto talk excitedly to Sakura and Shikamaru. The smiles they shared with each other were big, contagious, as if enticing Kakashi to also let out a small smile.

“Hinata is my soulmate!”

“I got mine during the war. It was Ino who noticed,” Sakura let out a small laugh as she recalled her chaotic reactions when she discovered that Sasuke was, in fact, the man the universe had destined for her. “What about you, Shikamaru?”

“Nothin’.”

A small sigh escaped Shikamaru’s lips and brought with it the hope of not having to worry about a soulmate anytime soon.

“What about you, Kakashi-sensei?”

“I don’t pay attention to that.”

A shrug was enough to direct the conversation back to Shikamaru.

But Kakashi kept thinking. Without realizing it, all the younger’s’ speeches were obstructed with the thought that, perhaps, Kakashi had already received his words.

It was true that Kakashi avoided looking at his wrist – since that night, the mere thought of love scared him.

Once, Kakashi simply didn’t care about something as trivial as love. The mere thought of such a feeling brought only haunting of long, uninteresting conversations with his father. But now, after that night, there was fear in the feeling. There was an extra fear that burned in Kakashi’s heart when he allowed himself the luxury of thinking about something as dangerous as love.

Ever since that night, the mere thought of love scared Kakashi because, quite simply, Kakashi couldn’t imagine that word without picturing you.

And Kakashi blamed you. Yes, you. You were the bringer of Kakashi’s destruction. Because, since that night, Kakashi really started to see the world differently. And he blamed you. He blamed that word. He blamed all the stars.

But had any mark already been engraved on his wrist?

Leaving conversations and laughter behind, Kakashi returned home.

A single goal was stuck in his mind. A single need ran through his heart. A single feeling moved Kakashi. Love.

The four walls of Kakashi’s room had never felt as cozy as they did at that moment.

It was the end of the day.

The last rays of sunlight were lost in Kakashi’s room. Shades of gold and hope burned fiercely in the three frames that rested delicately on his little furniture. Your face and Kakashi’s were adorned with light celestial tones from the last ray of sunlight, enhancing the joy and comfort that that photograph brought to Kakashi.

Night fell so quickly that it didn’t even give the sun a chance to warm Kakashi’s room.

It was cold.

The proud and bright moon contrasted with the weakness of that night, the stars taking the night off to give the various and diverse clouds their turn to shine.

There was darkness and there was cold.

In the midst of that discomfort, Kakashi looked for some warmth in his wrists.

His right wrist had nothing on it – the pale skin brought a bit of disappointment to him.

But there was still hope. There was still a second chance.

Cautiously taking off his left glove, Kakashi saw a single word shining in the moonlight.

‘Almost’.

Almost?

Kakashi’s mouth opened slightly on impulse as his eyes repeatedly read and reread that single word that was carved into his wrist.

How long had it been there? How long ago did fate decide to steal you from him? Almost? Why ‘almost’? Hadn’t his confession that night been enough for you? Wouldn’t the vulnerability with which he uttered and repeated that forbidden word have been enough for both of you? Almost. Almost? Why? Could he have done something? Could he have done nothing?

A wave of corruption completely washed away any and all hope Kakashi might have had. The curiosity that once drove Kakashi’s gestures was entirely replaced by regret and frustration.

Could he go back? Could he do something to change that word?

Surely if you arrived and he confessed everything he wanted and felt for you, maybe you would reciprocate his words.

No. Not ‘maybe’. Kakashi was sure there was reciprocity. That night left no doubt. The way you two spoke, the way you looked at each other, the way you pronounced the forbidden word.

Yes. There was definitely still a little hope, even if it was small. And Kakashi knew, as years of war had taught him, that hope would always be the last to die. Surely the same applied to love. Right? – you said it yourself: love is the war of the most philosophical.

Yes. Hope.

‘Almost’ wasn’t the word Kakashi had chosen to dictate his fate, no. It was ‘hope’.

Clinging to that small flame that had quickly lit in Kakashi’s heart, he watched the remaining days pass slowly and wistfully.

Kakashi just wanted you to come back as soon as possible. He just wanted to cheat fate once and for all and grab the happiness he had been so deprived of. Would it be too much to ask?

‘Almost’. Pathetic.

‘Almost’. Of course it wasn’t almost – Kakashi would never allow it to be ‘almost’.

And when you arrived, Kakashi carried the war with him – he was determined to change his destiny, even though he was scared. There was determination in his steps, Kakashi’s eyes so empty conveying a bit of uncertainty, of fear, of regret in actions he should have done long ago.

Waiting for you for so long only gave Kakashi permission to think, to ponder all the opportunities that were missed by him in fear of a confession made of decent words – he could make a list of all the waste that was lost.

The ‘almost’ was right.

Years passed – Kakashi should have known better. He had so many books about it, he should have known better. It wasn’t enough to just say a complicated word. It was not enough to just feel a complex feeling. Kakashi had to show – and Kakashi never showed.

But now Kakashi was determined to change that. Kakashi was determined to change his destiny.

Just like war, Kakashi came to you without any warning.

Just like war, Kakashi caught you unnoticed in a spontaneous embrace of longing and nostalgia. It was rare for Kakashi to express his love, but you couldn’t deny that it was something that always made you smile.

You hugged Kakashi back, your arms fitting perfectly around his body, the way his strong arms squeezed you in a comforting embrace making you more relaxed. Although you had already arrived at the village two days ago, it was at that moment that you truly felt at home.

“How’s the mission?”

That wasn’t the question Kakashi wanted to ask – it wasn’t what he had rehearsed.

But you started a long, drawn-out monologue about all the ups and downs of that mission that lasted almost two weeks. A rollercoaster of emotions was reported by you as Kakashi listened attentively to every word out of your mouth.

And, while he listened to you, he looked intently at your arms.

Kakashi’s empty eyes searched for tattoos made by the stars. The curiosity to know your fate was what moved Kakashi’s eyes and forced him to look at your body.

Until finally he saw it.

‘It was close’.

It was close?

What absurd words had fate given you? It didn’t make sense.

Was it close that you didn’t end up with Kakashi? Was it close that you fell into someone else’s love trap? What did those words mean? What did they mean in a vast sea of possibilities?

“And I got my tattoo on the way here.”

You extended your arm and gave Kakashi permission to read your mark better.

‘It was close’.

“I was confused by what it meant. But it made sense when I found…”

“Him?”

Him.

Kakashi knew who you were talking about.

You didn’t need to confess names or draw portraits with your words. Kakashi always knew who you were talking about, because he was the one you loved before you met Kakashi, and he was the one you loved during the early days of your friendship with Kakashi.

“Yea.”

The smile you let out reminded Kakashi of love: shy and so happy, a hint of accomplishment displayed in the beautiful curves of your lips, a sense of comfort trapped in your confession.

Love.

Damn you.

“He walk with me to the village and is staying here. Today we’re going to our first date.”

And that’s when Kakashi realized – no one could change their destiny.

With a fake smile and forced curiosity, Kakashi allowed you to nail long, painful barbs into his heart, erasing any hope he still had left, completely staining the forbidden word for Kakashi.

With a fake smile and tears trapped in his eyes, Kakashi allowed your happiness to flood his darkness, little stars of your joy faintly painting Kakashi’s pain.

Because, yes. Despite everything, Kakashi was happy.

Even though he would be happier with you, Kakashi was happy for you.

You overflowed with love.

Extreme happiness wrapped in a film of euphoria delicately filled your room. Your eyes shone with the emotion of a love about to be lived. Your wide smile managed to be contagious, even though Kakashi didn’t want to smile.

You were the embodiment of love.

You were hope and comfort from the first day he met you and he hated you for it.

Kakashi hated you because he knew he would never be able to find someone who had as much of an impact as you did. He would never be able to find someone who made the word ‘love’ mean as much as you did.

It was the way you spoke so happily about each other. It was the way you still cared about Kakashi like you still liked him. It was your own way of being.

You were kindness and simplicity hidden behind a strong sphere of complexity.

You were, undeniably, love.

And the conversation that night never made as much sense as it did at that moment.

In Kakashi’s realization, in the midst of all the suffering caused by you, you continued to move Kakashi. The way you still made Kakashi eager to see you. The way your company was still, and always would be, crucial to Kakashi. The way he still loved you after you caused him so much anguish.

You have always been the personification of the word love. And, just like the feeling itself, it was you who moved Kakashi’s world.

♡ feedback is always welcomed ♡

#ㅤ⋮ naruto ₊˚ᰔ. .ᐟ #kakashi x reader #kakashi x you #kakashi x y/n #kakashi #hatake kakashi #kakashi imagine #kakashi fanfiction #kakashi hatake #kakashi fanfic #kakashi headcanons #kakashi imagines #kakashi fluff #kakashi headcanon

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scoops-aboy86 · 5 months ago

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Just Keeping Life & Soul Together (Secret Admirer pt 4)

Steddie Week 2024, July 4: Trade / body swap / Wouldn't It Be Good by Nik Kershaw

wc: 1812 / rated: T / set between seasons 2 and 3 / also on ao3

By the time Steve recovers enough to drive home, it’s time to clock out anyway. Robin hangs back, not taking off on her bike until she sees him get in the car, and he’s had more time to think about it now.

Robin’s outfit that she’d changed into in the employee bathroom after clocking out is an eclectic mishmash of different colors and patterns; Secret Admirer said they wear mostly dark colors. That’s not the only reason it isn’t her, but Steve can’t quite put a finger on anything else. It’s just… she has a very different vibe.

He’s exhausted and still not feeling great, so that’s as far as he thinks about it.

But the next morning he wakes up, still with some of that post-headache grogginess but better, and realizes that if she was telling the truth about someone in the ice cream parlor sending him that cone, Secret Admirer was there. Probably saw how out of it he was and felt bad, but not bad enough to overcome their reservations about revealing themselves.

God, Steve wishes he could remember who had been in Scoops when his efforts to ‘man up’ and push through the pain had crumbled. He doesn’t, but that’s okay. Robin knows.

Dear Secret Admirer,

Yes keep writing. Please keep writing. My head’s been killing me these past couple days and wanting to write back to you is the only thing that’s kept me going. I’m sorry I got Bilbo’s name wrong.

So I guess you already knew I had a headache the other day since you sent me that ice cream. That was you, right? Strawberry with rainbow sprinkles? I wish you would’ve stayed. I know you’re shy or scared of me not wanting you once I know who you are, but it really kind of sucked that you didn’t. I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything but I missed you so much even though I don’t know you. But I feel like I do know you, because you keep telling me things about yourself, like bread crumbs in that fairy tale from the book my mom used to read to me when I was a little kid but she stopped a long time ago because my dad didn’t want me to be a sissy momma’s boy. But fuck that, sometimes everyone needs to be read a story so they have something good in their head while they go to sleep, okay? I have nightmares a lot. I can’t tell you about them because I signed an NDA, but they’re horrible. I wake up screaming sometimes, only I can’t when my parents are home because my dad gets pissed and my mom gets disappointed, just like they did about how hurt I got last year. And the year before. It’s all connected and it’s all bullshit and none of it was my fault, I just happened to be there and I got sucked in and I keep getting sucked in and some nights I can’t even sleep anymore.

You said you smoke, right? Cigarettes and other stuff. Cigarettes don’t help, drinking makes me feel like shit, so maybe I should try the other stuff. Does it help with sleeping? Do you think it would help my headaches or make me not dream so much? I’m so tired and I keep thinking that if I got some the smell would be like you’re there, since you smoke it too. I want to feel like you’re here with me so I’m not alone. Maybe if you were here the nightmares wouldn’t be as bad and I could get some sleep and then the headaches wouldn’t happen as often because you were right, they get worse if I don’t get enough sleep or if I’m stressed out.

What if you called me sometime? 555-5555. You wouldn’t have to say anything, maybe just play some of the music that you think I’d hate and I can tell you if I do or not? Just let me talk to you? The hard thing about writing is I have to fill a whole page without any way to know what you think about any of it for at least a few days, and I guess a one-sided phone conversation isn’t that different but it would be something, right? I might like your music after all and then we’ll have something in common. Or maybe I can listen and then you can write to me about why you like it and if it’s something I didn’t think of (there are a lot of things I don’t think about on the first try, perspectives and stuff) maybe it’ll grow on me. Sorry if I’m pushing too hard but you said you wanted to give me something with all this and it was just an idea I had. You could give me new things to find out about, like with the Hobbit in his hole eating his hobbit breakfast. (I really liked the part with the glowing sword, that was awesome, I wish my bat would glow when )

Anyway. Robin knows about my headaches now too I guess, which is embarrassing. She was nice about it though and let me hide in the back until I could go home, but she probably still hates me for being King Steve. I’d write about something else but there’s not a lot going on in my life besides you.

— Steve

PS My parents are gone all this week, so if you do call it’s just me here. And you can call whenever, but maybe Friday at 10:30? You don’t have to though. Just keep writing.

The next time Steve goes to work, head no longer in danger of splitting open, Robin still calls him a dingus. It doesn’t feel as mean as it used to though. So that’s something.

It’s easier now to take her jabs in stride. Before he’d just tried to let it roll off him like water off a duck, but he cautiously tries out responding in kind.

“Your hat’s on backwards,” she calls across the parlor, smirking when it makes him reach up to check. “Made you look!”

Five minutes later, he gets her back with, “Your shoe’s untied.” When she glances down, he grins and adds, “Yeah that’s right, Buckley, two can play at this game.”

“Oh, it is on, Harrington.”

They start racing during the slow times when there are only a couple of people in line at a time, one sticking to scooping and the other ringing up while the former tries to move the second customer along before the latter finishes the first transaction. It’s a much better use of the You Rule / You Suck board, though she does still add tallies for whatever she considers Steve’s failed flirting attempts. (He’s not even trying anymore, not with Secret Admirer always on his mind these days.) Makes the ache of pining a little easier to bear; makes the day almost fun.

“Hey, so,” Steve ventures while they’re cleaning up after close. “I have a question.”

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Robin tense up. “What?”

He feels wrong-footed already, if just that was enough to put her on edge, but he can’t stop now that he’s pulled the trigger. “Who, uh. Who sent me the ice cream the other day?”

She blinks, and once she’s processed the question the stiffness in her posture goes away as quickly as it had come. “Oooh. You think someone’s sweet on you, is that it? Admit it.”

“No,” Steve sputters back. Even he had to admit, though, that the way his face heats up immediately really undercuts the claim.

“Tell you what.” She crosses her arms and leans back against the counter, eyeing him smugly. “I’ll trade you for it.”

“You’ll.” Now it’s his turn to blink. “Trade me?”

“Yeah. I have information that’s valuable to you, apparently, so you give me something that’s valuable to me in exchange.”

Steve scratches the back of his neck, trying to think. “I could… give you dating advice?”

Robin snorts. “Absolutely not.”

Flustered, he throws up his hands. “Well what do you want, then?”

She’s full on grinning at him now, and while it’s not necessarily malicious (which he appreciates) it’s still at his expense (which he does not). “Uh-uh, you’ve got to put your thinking cap on and come up with something on your own, Mr. Hair. It’s more genuine that way.”

“What? Nooo,” Steve groans, but he supposes he’s grateful that she didn’t whip out the ol’ it builds character that his dad threw at him when ordering him to get a menial summer job. “And I don’t have a thinking cap.”

That makes her actually laugh. “Well duh, who’s dorky enough to own an actual thinking cap?”

Dustin does, Steve thinks fondly. The little squirt is only off at camp for another week, and he really has missed the little shithead. It’ll be nice to get along with his coworker and have a friend around… as pathetic as that does make him feel.

But whatever, first he has to figure out what Robin might want in exchange for what could very likely turn out to be his Secret Admirer’s identity.

Every time Eddie has seen Steve since that Tuesday at Scoops, he’s with his coworker Robin. Apparently he’s started giving her rides so she doesn’t have to bike everywhere all the time. They talk animatedly, like little kids racing from thought to thought as they gleefully mock and annoy each other.

And it’s probably his fault somehow. Maybe knowing that Steve was actually suffering instead of suffering his own consequences had softened her up, allowed her to pause and notice the soft and genuine person underneath what remained of the King Steve veneer. Maybe it’s impossible not to fall in love with Steve Harrington.

Whatever it was, the results make Eddie yearn to swap lives with some girl he doesn’t even know. Someone who gets to touch Steve on the arm without reproach—even if it’s more of a punch than a touch, jeez. The only relief he gets from the green monster of jealousy twisting around his heart is Steve’s letter asking him to call, so even if Robin is interested now then it seems she’s out of luck.

Call. And not even talk, but just listen to Steve’s voice and maybe play selections from a few of his favorite albums, then spend his next letter talking about why they’re his favorites. This perfect man has managed to pluck three of his favorite things to do out of thin air and present the offer as a favor to Steve rather than, uh, only the closest Eddie has ever been to going on an actual date in his entire life.

… If only he felt in any way prepared.

Tag list: @hotluncheddie @lawrencebshoggoth @sofadofax @tangerinesteve @steviewashere

@cryingglightningg @theresebelivett @sleepy-steve @rozzieroos @lunaraindrop

@just-my-latest-hyperfixation @wheneverfeasible @swimmingbirdrunningrock @yesdangerpls

@matchingbatbites @ihavekidneys @p0lybl4nkk @grtwdsmwhr @cheesedoctor

@whalesharksart @thetinymm @envyadams-vs-me @practicallybegging @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme

@dauntlessdiva @nerdyglassescheeseychick @fuzzyduxk @chaosgremlinmunson @greatwerewolfbeliever

#steddieweek2024 #scoops words #secret admirer steddie #steddie #steve harrington #robin buckley #the start of platonic stobin #eddie munson

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howlingday · 1 year ago

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Hello Hollowing, my prompt is this: After team RWBY finds themselves in the Ever After, they are met by a small child happily waving and guiding them towards the Tree instead of a certain Cheshire cat. Soon they were guided to the tree, with a mansion carved within. With children that looked like recoloured versions of their guide happily waving toward RWBY. They meet Neo, and Jaune, the small older woman clealry pregnant, along with Mint, and Trivia, and a woman similar to neo called CC... basically I want Jaune to explain why he has a harem of Neos with constant flashbacks of each neo having babymaking sex with him. With CC requires everyone else to overcome her instability. Blame Fatally Obsessed. I do not know why I make statements instead of questions.

Ah, okay.

This is way less terrible than I thought it would be.

---------------------------------------------------

This world is weird. Like, super weird. No, but like, SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPER weird! Like, think of the weirdest thing you could think of, and it wouldn't be half as weird as what this was.

Okay, maybe not THAT weird, but it was weirder than Remnant, at least. Game pieces moved around, walking and talking like all the faunus and humans did back home. Not only that, but there were also talking animals, too! So yeah, this fairy tale world was weird.

But not as weird as what happened next.

"Hey! Over here!"

Team RWBY looked behind them and found a little girl waving at them. She had short, blonde hair, pale skin, and, as they got closer, blue eyes. Her dress was pink with a black sash wrapped around her belly.

"Um, hi?" Ruby awkwardly waved.

"Are you a Huntress?"

The question shocked the group. This was the first person they met in the Ever After, and she KNEW what a huntress is! Who was she?

"Um, ye-"

"Nilly!" A girl with long, brown hair ran up to the other girl and grabbed her wrist. Her dress was white with a pink sash wrapped around her belly, similar to the other girl. "We're not supposed to talk to strangers!"

"It's okay, Gats!" Nilly replied. "They don't look bad!"

"Don't you remember what Dad said?" Gats wagged her finger. "Looks can be decieving!"

"Um," Ruby stuttered, "we're not bad. Uh, y'know, if you wanted our opinion."

"She's right." Weiss added. "We're just trying to get to the tree."

"Oh! That's easy!" Nilly yanked her hand away. "Daddy can take you!"

"Daddy?" Yang asked.

"Mhm!" Nilly nodded. "Daddy is, like the best person to take you to the tree! He was up there before, y'know?"

"Nilly!" Gats chided. "They're bad guys!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yuh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yuh-huh!"

As the girls bickered, Team RWBY gave each other glances. This was very uncomfortable.

"Were we..." Ruby looked to her sister. "This bad?"

"Eh...." Yang shrugged. "Kinda?"

"Well, none of my siblings were like this." Weiss said with an unamused look.

"Pretty sure you're not as close with your siblings as Ruby and Yang were." Blake added. "It kind of makes me wonder what it's like."

"It's not great."

Suddenly, in the center of Team RWBY, stood a small girl with pink hair done in a ponytail, wearing a black dress with a white sash. She was so quiet, none of them heard her! As she walked to the other girls, they noticed she had a pink tail sway from under her dress.

"Nilla. Gats." She addressed the girls. "Mother's waiting for us." At this, the two girls stopped bickering. The leader looked at Team RWBY. "You come, too."

The little girl in the pink dress then walked forward, followed closely by the other two. Following the trio was Team RWBY. From a distance, a pair of eyes watched the seven girls curiously.

---------------------------------------------------

Neo sipped her tea, enjoying the quiet of the house. Her girls were out playing while her husband had left to run errands. They would all return before supper, as they always did. She looked down, admiring the one change to her otherwise routine life she'd made in the Ever After.

Every morning, she woke up, had breakfast, woke up her daughters, and then spent the rest of the day planning dinner. Tonight's dinner would be stewed vegetables.

"Ugh... Couldn't we have something with more meat?"

Neo cast a glare at the whining voice. The voice belonged to another Neo, though the voice was not quite her own. Instead, an annoying creature had taken residence in her body, wearing it like a coat, doing with it as they pleased.

"Oh, don't give me that look." The being replied with a roll of their neon-blue eyes. "Even Trivia is sick and tired of it!"

The woman in question, hanging clothes to dry outside, flinched. She shivered as Neo quirked a brow at her former self. She hid herself behind a wet sheet.

"Ow!" Mint, a disguise of herself used to infiltrate Beacon during the Vytal Festival with Cinder, flicked the being in Neo's ear. "Oh, I was not being mean to her!"

Neo hefted herself to her feet, hands to her back for support. Soon, it would be her turn to bring life into this world. She couldn't help but wonder what her child would look like. What mother didn't?

"Oh, and before you set the table," the being said, "we're going to have guests tonight. Four of them."

Neo eyed the being, unsure of what they meant. For all their schemes and plots, the creature wasn't a liar and often made use of their ability to see and hear things outside their home. If there were guests coming to visit, then there would be guests coming to visit. Neo would need more vegetables, and hands to pick said vegetables.

"Speak of the Grimm, as you say."

Neo looked to the door, and a tiny knock came from the other side. She opened the door, finding eight familiar faces.

"Mother." Greeted Berry with stoicism.

"Mommy!" Squealed Vanilla joyfully.

"Mom?" Called Gateau in concern.

Neo glared past her daughters to the four huntresses behind them. They swiftly reached for their weapons.

"Neopolitan?!" Litte Red exclaimed in her surprise.

"Of course she'd be here!" The Ice Queen growled.

"Is she pregnant?" The Kitty Cat asked.

"Guess she found someone dumb enough to knock her up." The Blonde Bimbo rudely remarked.

"Now that's just rude." All eyes focused on the timbre voice in the distance. A figure in rusted armor dismounted a large jackalope, named Juniper, and removed his helmet. Beneath was a ruggedly handsome bearded face with tired, blue eyes. He gave a chuckle. "Rude girls don't get dessert."

#rwby #silent knight #jaune arc #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #neopolitan #the curious cat #rwby au #rwbabies #curious cat

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artsyjedi · 1 year ago

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They don’t stay together at the end | Charles Leclerc x reader

summary: you and charles meet, live and life goes on.

author’s note: i enjoyed this but no at the same time? maybe it’s a little confusing, sorry. I hope you enjoy anyway :) and let me know if you do! english isn’t my first language!!!! and it’s been a while since i wrote something, be nice please

*also: I think the reader is gender neutral, but i don’t exactly remember.

warnings: none but If you find any let me know

**2nd part: ‘they see each other again’

“Move in with me to Monaco” Charles’ voice caught your attention.

You had met during that week, three days ago to be more precise and the days since have been more than a dream. A true fairy tale.

Charles’ was travelling, enjoying his days off before the begin of the season, and you were trying to make a life in a new place. You were working at a cafe when you met him; brown eyes enchanting you right away. He was a prince; the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen.

“Hi” he said softly while paying for his drink.

“Hi” you answered back with a mere whisper. If he wasn’t paying fully attention to you, he wouldn’t have heard.

And that was when you figure it out how powerful a two letter word can be.

This simple ‘hi’ became a whole conversation at the end of your shift, and then him showing around the city; his favorite spots, places he holds deep in his heart. Charles told you stories and you loved how his eyes sparkled with passion whenever he mentioned his family, friends or his career. He loved talking about art, he showed you his songs. Every little thing he did, you fell more and more.

But this dream would end one day. You knew - and so did he. This whole fairytale is gonna come to an end eventually and he’s gonna go back to his prestigious life as a driver while you gonna go back to your cafe and small apartment you share with other three people. Everything was gonna be nothing more than a memory - one you will hold close to your heart forever.

He was still staring at you, body and hair wet from the hot shower. You were on his hotel bed, covered with the white sheets, hair a mess and body tired. You were still sweating. He looked ethereal.

“I can’t, you know that” you laughed.

“Of course you can” he sat next to you, hand holding yours “You can live with me. At least at first if you want to live somewhere. And if you want, you can find a job there - or not too. Just come. I need you”

“You’re insane! I can’t just go and leave everything behind again. I need to create roots, a life. And more: what people would say? They would think I’m using you for money and fame”

“Who cares about what people think? It’s me and you that matters, nothing else. Create roots with me. We’ve been having such a good time together here, why not keep this going?”

“Because” you tried to argue, taking a deep breath before continuing “Because this is just a moment, Charles. This is good, perfect, but we both know it won’t last. This is good because it’s gonna come to an end. That’s all. Destiny played its part: we met each other, we learn from each other, and now we need to follow our own paths”

Charles got quiet. He was sad, you could see it; feel it even. But he knew you weren’t wrong. You couldn’t just drop everything you’ve been fighting for and go on this adventure with him; he had everything right already. A name for himself, a career.

“I love you. I love this” your hand held his face and went to his hair, caressing the brown humid strands. He closed his eyes, letting his head lean on your warm touch. When he opened his eyes, he found you smiling. Charles Leclerc was truly a thing.

He leaned further, nose meeting yours and he let himself enjoy the intimate touch. He kissed you then, with more passion than he had on the previous days.

“Fine” he rested his head against yours “I hope we meet again soon. Until there, let’s enjoy the time we have, ok?”

“Ok”

The days passed and everything felt then times more real. The feelings you had towards each other were crude and transparent to everyone. You went more places together, ate together, slept together. You loved him and he loved you. Life was simple.

The day he left, you went to the airport to say goodbye. It felt right.

While you saw him walk to his gate and disappear from your sight, you thought how beautiful those days were. It’s was not just about love, but about moments, about knowing to live with the knowledge that everything can and will end. One hour, one day, one week, one month or an entire life - moments are what makes life what it is and the best thing we can do is be grateful for them to happen at first place, and for the people who are part of it.

When you left the airport, the cold breeze met your face. That day was a good day, and you hoped faith would put Charles in your path once again; in that life or in another one.

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc angst #charles leclerc fluff #formula one #formula 1 #formula one x you #formula 1 x you #f1 x reader #formula one x reader #formula 1 imagines #f1 #f1 imagines #enough tags i believe #artsy writes

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soulfarer23 · 2 months ago

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Yapping about shifting even tho I should just shut it lol

First Tumblr post. No clue WTF I am doing. Just bear with me or don't. Random brain puke.

Please don't hate me, I am just letting my intrusive thoughts flow lmao. Not intending to undermine any opinions, just having strong opinions myself XD

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok firstly, I feel like I am the biggest try hard on this version of Earth when it comes to shifting. Not the process of shifting, but the goddam SCRIPTING.

There is no way in hell I could ever just shift without a script. I mean, of course I COULD, but I don't want to.

I like to think that I am grasping the true vastness of infinity quite well for a human. And then I often realize I don't, and I really don't want to. It's the single-handedly greatest yet most horrific fact about reality.

You gonna tell me that every horror movie and every nightmare, every single horrific thought I ever had exists in infinite variations at all times? Yea thanks, I don't wanna grasp that. I don't wanna know that there is a version of me and my school class going through the fucking 'Midsommar' movie, and that's probably just the very tip of the iceberg.

But you know what, it's fine. As long as I convince myself that only those realities that I decide to be aware of are relevant, everything is fine. To be honest, I had those phases of wanting to have a horrific backstory to get all that main character pity. I am glad I stopped that before shifting. You can do that if you want, but I am done with that... mostly... ok I might do it once or twice just to have experienced it...

ok ok ok... back to the scripting.

I want you to know, firstly, that I've been deep into the 'Worldbuilding' hobby for about 10 years now. I love creating new worlds, I love finding solutions to potential problems, I love overthinking everything, I love DETAILS, I love perfection, I love both being absurdly creative or just steal shit I fell in love with.

This doesn't come into play a lot with those movie/anime etc. DRs because I actually like to keep those mostly in their 'original' form, just making changes to things that irk me.

I am very invested in scripting myself a Home Reality which I will declare my true 'original' reality, where I also will go If I were to 'die' in any other reality.

I like going for a cozy, magic, fairy tale, utopian theme. I've heard a lot of people say that perfection is boring, but then again, how would they even know? I don't believe that a utopian world would be boring, nor do I think I could ever get bored with existing (It's actually part of my script that I can never get sick of life)

I am planning to genuinely exist for all eternity, well we are all eternal, but I mean as in staying the same person with the same knowledge and past.

I feel like very little people take shifting as far as I do, not just living through the 'fictional' works of other people of this reality, but really 'creating' your own, in-depth reality.

Hell, I literally have a MICROCOSMOS section in my script. I literally made up microorganisms called Nova Protozoa and Opal Archaea.

I've learned so much about earth and nature just so I can remake it for my Home Reality.

So, well, right now I am really just affirming and persisting for the Void-State, so I am really just on here to expose myself to the internet until I am gone.

Comment whatever you want, but be warned, I don't argue, I just block lol.

I am just going to start posting random shit about my shifting brain or my DR/DR's.

I don't know if this is motivating or demotivating, or if anyone is ever going to actually read this. But none of that matters, just enjoying my last days of being aware of this shithole reality.

#reality shifting #shifters #shifting script #shifting antis dni #shiftingrealities #shifting blog #shiftinconsciousness #shifting community #shifting motivation #shifting #shiftingblr

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roserunodays · 11 months ago

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Kotoko's Connection with the Fairy Tale of Red Riding Hood

So THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE POST, but I kept looking into it, and now here's a full blown analysis instead lol. I realized that Kotoko has many allusions to the story of Red Riding Hood besides the wolves and her signature red jacket. The themes of familial love, protection, and deception all seem to be reflected in Kotoko's actions and what we know of her past and personal life so far. So this post will detail more of the connections between her and this tale, as well as theorize on certain parts on what her story might reveal in the future!

MAJOR THANKS to my English major himejoshi librarian bunny mutual @lillyviarabbit for proof reading this so that my writing doesn't sound clunky af 🙏

A Quick Aside: The Other Side of this Tale (TW for sexual assault and rape mention)

So...there's another side to the original tale of Red Riding Hood, one that deals with much heavier themes on what the story as a whole is supposed to symbolize. I didn't want to analyze these themes of rape, sexual assault, and analogies of being 'turned' into a woman (such as hoods/veils representing both marriage and bereavement). They are there though, and easy analogies can be made, but that's not the content I want to cover. This is mainly because I just don't think we have enough evidence or hints as of now from Kotoko's past that suggests these parts from the Red Riding Hood story are also in her story. I did not want to speculate on these parts either because I wanted to treat them with respect and sensitivity, rather than simply speculate that they have to do with a fictional character's past when we don't even have any evidence to theorize that they do. So this post will only touch upon the more well known parts of the story instead!

Also I won't be talking about Jacques Roulet and his weird ass story because none of it makes sense to me with how it's related to Kotoko, so I will leave that to someone with a bigger brain to analyze that 💀 and I'll be sticking to analyzing similarities with Perrault's version of the story, though the analysis referenced at the end also includes the Grimm version!

Allusions to Red Riding Hood Herself:

One of the major similarities between Kotoko and Red Riding Hood is — well — the red hooded jacket!

This jacket is the most recognizable part of the fairy tale, and it clearly sticks out in Kotoko's wardrobe as the outfit she wears while she's in her forest world, notably with the wolves she's running with in HARROW.

Appearance wise, Kotoko also seems to fit the bill for how Red has been portrayed throughout various iterations of the story over time.

Red's appearance generally describes a girl with short black hair and a bob that reaches down to be exact.

"Another difference lies in the fact that, in addition to [her hair] being black, Little Red Riding Hood’s hair is generally short, reaching to her chin at most, with a charming bob that frames her face."

The signature hood is also noted, with Kotoko's prisoner uniform being the only one to notably have a hood on it.

"It becomes a powerful indicator of sense. History shows that an object that goes on a woman’s or girl’s head has always been ambivalent, not to say ambiguous. It covers, it conceals, it protects, but it also alludes, adorns and attracts."

Not only does Kotoko's hood uniform reflect her similarity with Red Riding Hood, it also highlights Kotoko's tendency to protect/conceal all the aspects of herself she does not want to reveal to anyone else.

It's clear that Kotoko doesn't trust anyone else in the prison, wanting to conceal as much stuff about her as possible so she can analyze their behavior and how much they change following the time between trial 1 and trial 2. This secretive nature, interpreted by her actions and the hood she wears as a way for Kotoko to protect herself and her fragile self-worth, is also highlighted in Streaming Heart's lyrics.

"Though I seem to say many things, please try and seek out the real me. In the space between truth and lies, hidden away so well."

The Grandmother:

Another major fact that gets overlooked is how Kotoko offhandedly mentions in her family structure that she has a grandmother. As a lot of us already know, the main plot of Little Red Riding Hood is that the girl delivers food to her grandmother, who is sick and lives in a house in the woods. This detail from her interrogation is rather...specific, given that she doesn't even mention having a grandfather, just a grandmother along with her parents and older brother.

One additional piece of evidence that connects to this is the symbolism of her birthday flower, Monstera Deliciosa!

In many Asian cultures, this plant can also symbolize a respect and honoring of the elderly. Interesting, considering that this is the plant Yamanaka picked out for Kotoko.

While we don't exactly know the details between Kotoko and the relationship she has with her grandmother, her birthday flower seems to hint that she has some kind of respect for her, or at least they are most likely on good terms with each other.

"Once upon a time there lived in a certain village a little country girl, the prettiest creature who was ever seen. Her mother was excessively fond of her; and her grandmother doted on her still more. This good woman had a little red riding hood made for her. It suited the girl so extremely well that everybody called her Little Red Riding Hood."

And that is why I wonder: did something happen to Kotoko's grandmother that made her realize how flawed and unfair justice can really be? Well, we know that in the story, the wolf disguises himself as Red's grandmother to try and trick her. But why litter Kotoko with all this wolf symbolism (besides the dog/tool dehumanization she's associated with) if she's supposed to allude to the character of Red Riding Hood?

The Wolf:

There is a major difference when it comes to the Tale of Red Riding Hood and Kotoko’s MV symbolism, which is the wolf’s role in each of their stories.

For Red, the wolf is the enemy. The wolf is one who tricks her from the very beginning, and the one who tries to eat her and her grandmother.

"Grandmother, what big arms you have!" "All the better to hug you with, my dear." "Grandmother, what big legs you have!" "All the better to run with, my child." "Grandmother, what big ears you have!" "All the better to hear with, my child." "Grandmother, what big eyes you have!" "All the better to see with, my child." "Grandmother, what big teeth you have got!" "All the better to eat you up with."

But Kotoko…she’s with the wolf. The wolf is instead her companion it seems, the one who runs and sits beside her when she’s doing her vigilante stuff.

And more importantly, the wolf seems like the one to be enabling her, helping her continue with rescuing the little girl and beating up the child kidnapper. It is the one thing by her side that encourages her to bare her fangs and protect the weak.

People have speculated that this wolf represents a person in Kotoko's life, a vigilante partner she used to have? Her older brother perhaps? Who knows really, but I think we can all agree that this wolf is a person who has influenced Kotoko a lot. It is the one thing that pushes her continue with this, to continue with the cycle of cruelty and violence in her act of handing out her own form of justice. And that brings me to Kotoko's jacket again.

The Red/Pink Jacket:

I want to address the difference between Kotoko's jacket in her forest world, as opposed to it in the real world. In the forest world, we see that the jacket is more of a hot pinkish color.

I'm not sure if this is fully because of the lighting, but the color difference for the jacket is very notable if you compare them side by side. In the real world, the jacket is clearly more red than pink:

So why make this jacket be two different colors in two different places? Well, I'd like to theorize that the answer has to do with this girl that appears for a brief few seconds in HARROW, in the flashback sequence while Kotoko is beating up the child kidnapper dude.

Or as I like to call her: PINK SHIRT GIRL ✨

One final thing I wanted to talk about is how this girl relates to Kotoko, the different colors for her same jacket in the MV, and the sole reason why I think she wears a pink shirt. A lot of people have speculated that this girl is a younger version of Kotoko, possibly back when she was a child. Pink for Kotoko seems to emphasize her ideals at their most pure level.

When Kotoko is wearing her jacket when it's pink, she's in her forest world that emphasizes Kotoko's purpose in protecting the weak. She's emotional there, she falters, worn out by the running and desperate to continue going. There is nothing shown in those scenes that shows her childlike ideals being tainted, yet.

But when Kotoko alludes to her self-hatred and the wolf urges her to go on with the attack, HARROW switches back to the real world where the jacket is red. We Kotoko smile after she presumably kills the child kidnapper guy as she declares that she wants to be "drowning in the knowledge that [she] is right", and thus, this seems like we the audience realize this is the moment when Kotoko's ideals begin to become more distorted than how they were presented in the forest world.

We see that she finally gains a satisfaction that everything that she did wasn't for completely nothing, and that she now has the purpose that makes her existence useful. While she does want to protect the weak and give out justice, it is not entirely motivated by altruism, as HARROW points out. When Kotoko's pink jacket becomes red, it seems to signify how her pure, child-like ideals become tainted and much more flawed compared to them initially.

This, along with Kotoko having the wolf as her companion, all seem to point at just how much Kotoko herself has become the very monsters she wanted to destroy. The child-like pink has now become a red stained with blood, or rather a shade of magenta. A mix of red and pink that highlights Kotoko's immature and child-like view of a black and white world, while also noting that Kotoko is not the innocent Little Red Riding Hood she once was anymore—

She is the wolf. She is a Red Riding Hood who has been led on by the wolf's ideals, the prey that has been ensnared and eaten by the wolf at the end of the original Charles Perrault story.

She is the wolf, the monster now.

She is now the sinner she hates so much.

Sources:

https://journals.openedition.org/strenae/6423 This one is the Red Riding Hood clothing analysis!

https://core.ecu.edu/parillek/littleredcinder.pdf "Little Red Riding Hood" Charles Perrault version

https://medium.com/@monsterahelpful/the-symbolism-and-history-behind-the-monstera-leaf-unveiling-its-meaning-11ba828837c2 Monstera Deliciosa symbolism!

https://twitter.com/pug_maniac/status/1735912110423732687 Yamanaka's tweet for Kotoko's birthday flower!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Red_Riding_Hood The Wikipedia page for Little Red Riding Hood! This also contains the heavier themes I was talking about in the beginning, so if you want to find out more, they have a whole section about it here. Trigger Warnings for sexual assault and rape for this Wikipedia page.

https://youtu.be/VrAW8zyoEiY?si=a3p4nb8B1TTza-x_ Translation video for Kotoko's first voice drama, Task.

https://youtu.be/_gTTtS0Fvxk?si=Y1Zwu3XOI_nRHgex HARROW MV

Also I'd love to read more analyses if anyone writes them, especially on topics I avoided, so tag me if you write any!!!

#I swear I love other milgram characters besides Kotoko djfkfdnk #there shouldn't be any deep cover spoilers here so I don't think I'll have to tag for it #you know who else has fairy tale allusions and symbolism? Mahiru Shiina—*shot*#I hope this is something at least 😭 look I just want Kotoko to realize how much she's become a monster by killing her child self in her mv #IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR—#milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #long post #rose.txt

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seastarblue · 1 month ago

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Tumblr Games: OC Prompts: Character Profile

thanks for the tag @bardic-tales here !

Rules: Answer the prompts for an OC—buttttt I kinda wanna do the interview style again! Partway at least. Gotta work on them character voices, ya know?

So I’m already making profiles for my OCs, but I figured it might be fun to do one for an OC I wasn’t planning on profiling:

✨Saffron✨

Let’s go!

———

Full name? “Saffron of Gentlebright. At least that’s the one easiest to pronounce for humans.”

Age? “Er… maybe… 450…? Give or take a few decades— I’ve lost count. Whoopsie!”

Gender? “Gender? I hardly know her! HAHAHA! You can use she/her for me though.”

Species? “A ✨fairy✨.”

Appearance: Saffon is a short (nO im NOT), red headed fairy with bright yellow eyes and shimmering purple dragonfly wings. She’s got a collection scars here and there.

Occupation? “I’m the captain of the Fifth Order.”

Family:

Spouse? “None. Never was one for romance!”

Parents? “…No.”

Siblings? “…also no.”

Best Friends? Tell me a bit about them!

“Alrighty! First and foremost, we’ve got Aris! Aris min Qultaar, if we’re being specific. He’s my partner-in-justice! Now as for the rest of my team: I love them equally—some are just… more equal than others, HAH! Like, uh, Nero di Accardi, Thannis of Spring, Tembris Quicksilver, and Percival Whitlock.”

Pets? “No, but I did have a cat called… Baby Kitty. He died :(“

Describe your room? “Ah, there’s not much. A bed, nice soft blue sheets, it’s got holes in the mattress for my wings—I tuck em in, don’t want them to get crushed, ya know—I’ve got a nice little nightstand that Thannis carved for me with some knickknacks Aris gifted me. I don’t spend enough time in there to really decorate.”

Way of Speaking: Saffron’s speaking style wildly changes depending on who she’s talking to. With her team, it’s casual, easy, gentle at times. With superiors, it’s formal, tense, very eloquent. With criminals… well let’s just say she doesn’t stop to chat much.

Physical Characteristics: Apart from what was listed above, Saffron has white diamond shaped pupils, and blue blood, as she is a Fae.

Items in your bag RIGHT NOW: “Oh, uh, let’s see… a knife, some food, a broken pencil, another knife, some vials of potion, and… another broken pencil. Who put those in there…?”

Hobbies: Sparring, planting, dancing, writing, interrogating people

Favorite Sport: “Hm… I’m a fan of wingball, but I don’t play often.” (Wingball is just football but in the air)

Abilities: Saffron has a lie detecting ability, as she is a fairy. She also has some very good Glamor skills, as well as mean Fire magic.

Relationships:

Her team: very good! :>

Lloyd Santhuff: very bad :<

Vivirette Hawthorne: she thinks the noble is weird.

Fears: She fears losing her entire team without being able to do anything. It’s a very real fear… also slugs.

Faults: She tends to freeze up, which isn’t a good quality to have as a leader. She also has a problem with taking things seriously—she doesn’t.

Good Points: Saffron is very honest (not by choice—long story, still counts), and she’s very good at giving advice, having lived for literal centuries (don’t make me feel old :[ )

What they want more than anything else: all Saffron wants is to be free to keep them safe.

———

phew this took a while. Note that you don’t have to answer as an OC, just for one!

Tag game list! Lemme know if you want on/off via DM or ask!:

@sableglass @vsnotresponding @dioles-writes

@paeliae-occasionally @astor-and-the-endless-ink @allaboutmagic

#writeblr #o(sea’s)#sea’s story 1 #writers on tumblr #oc #tag game #sea’s games

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deancaspinefest · 10 months ago

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A Fairy Tale Cliche!

Author: butterflyslinky | Artist: CoyDahlia

Posting on Monday March 18

True Love was never in the cards for Castiel. He is, after all, a Changeling raised by Cave Trolls, raised in the Court of Storms, where tender emotions are not encouraged. True Love was also never in the cards for Dean. They may be under a curse that can only be broken by True Love's Kiss, but nymphs don't tend to settle for one person for life. Too bad none of their friends will listen to that logic.

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

Castiel did the only thing he could think of and extended his hand. “Would you care to dance with me?”

The nymph stared for a moment. “Are you going to declare your love and ask me to run away with you?”

“No,” Castiel said. “I’m going to dance with you until you don’t want me to.”

“Well.” The nymph put their hand in his. “Guess I can do that.”

Castiel smiled and led the nymph onto the floor. As though by magic…okay, probably by magic…the orchestra started at once and Castiel swept the nymph into a gentle waltz, grateful to Sam and his lessons. He was still clumsy in boots and he didn’t want to step on the nymph’s inadequate shoes.

“You’re a Changeling, right?” the nymph asked after a minute.

“I am.”

“Great. Wanna give me the lowdown on that?”

Castiel didn’t know why, but he found himself spilling his entire story to the nymph, more than he’d told anyone, even Sam. The nymph listened in silence, watching him from behind their mask, and they seemed to relax the longer Castiel spoke.

“So here I am,” Castiel finished quite a bit later. “It’s been a bit of a journey.”

“You’ve barely even started,” the nymph said. “Training with Jo is step zero…you don’t even have your Quest yet.”

“I thought finding my One True Love so I can stay in Avalon was my Quest.”

The nymph laughed. “Please. Like it would be that easy. You can’t really know someone is your True Love until you’ve faced major adversity together. You know, kiss a frog, turn into a swan, what have you. And that’s assuming True Love even exists for you and not just random lust or infatuation.”

“Do you not believe in True Love?”

“Sorry, sweetheart,” they said. “But I don’t go around sharing my story with everyone I meet.”

Castiel slowed slightly. “Just tell me,” he said. “Do you have a True Love you should be dancing with?”

The nymph softened. “Nah,” they said. “Don’t have time for that crap. Though you’re offending an awful lot of people by dancing with me.”

Cas glanced around again. There were indeed quite a few people watching them, and many of them looked pretty unhappy. “Were they on your dance card?” he asked.

“Nope,” the nymph said. “But they feel entitled to me anyway.” They grinned at Cas. “So if you want to take up all my time, I can stay until midnight.”

“If you want me to,” Castiel said. “But I’d like to know what to call you if we’re going to spend the next four and a half hours together.”

“Dean,” the nymph said. “You can call me Dean.”

(continue reading on Ao3 on Monday March 18)

#destiel #deancas #destiel fic #deancas fic #destiel art #deancas art #pinefest 2024 #pinefest previews #2024 Dean/Cas Pinefest #author: butterflyslinky #artist: CoyDahlia #Fantasy AU #Nymph!Dean #Human Castiel

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sparklyfarmfreakpaper · 27 days ago

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Hello!!! I hope you liked the previous story because after a while the ideas and creativity came back to my mind again. So here you have another writing, I hope I have captured the essence of the character of Lizzie (A.K.A MY WIFE) since she is a very complex character. Enjoy!!!

Synopsis: Lizzie has a very bad time in Ever After, far from her home, from her mother, the strangeness makes her very depressed and it doesn't help that the boy she fell in love with has broken her heart. But maybe not everyone in Ever After is like she thinks.

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In a place far away from Ever After High and the Village at the End of the Book, where the sunlight hardly penetrates the leaves of the trees, the weak crying of a girl could be heard, who was none other than the princess of hearts, Lizzie Hearts. But what had happened for the tough and strong future monarch of Wonderland to be hidden here crying? Well, the poor girl had, ironically, a broken heart.

The reasons were several and they were fair, first she was far from her beloved country all because of the tyrannical and dark Evil Queen who went beyond what was written in her story, causing problems in all the fairy tale kingdoms. The curse she had placed made the once exotic and beautiful Wonderland twist into something more horrible, luckily the Evil Queen was stopped in time before completing 100% of her curse but still the little she could do with her evil magic had done damage not only to the lands but also to the people.

Her mother, victim of the curse, or perhaps of stress and pressure, changed her attitude completely, becoming more paranoid, more aggressive, more furious. She was forced to escape from Wonderland with Maddie and Kitty, leaving everything behind, even her mother. When she arrived, she already had a bad feeling about all this. First, Milton Grimm did not deign to look for a real solution to the problem; the first and only thing he did was close off every portal that connects to Wonderland. Then, nothing, absolutely nothing in Ever After was the same as her hometown; there was no madness, there was no magic. Everyone looked at her, Maddie and Kitty strangely, everyone was somewhat afraid of her because of her temperament and her usual; “Off with your head!”

Lizzie was still crying, her mother told her that a queen never shows her feelings, that was one of her valuable instructions, but she simply could not bear it any longer. As she buried her head in her legs she heard the sound of something approaching, when she raised her head she saw a boy of her same age dressed in a much more casual way and she couldn't help but get angry not only because she was seen crying but because of an incident related to the Ever After boys. Daring Charming, the heartthrob, not only went looking for her for a bet between friends but also didn't care much about "cheating" on her with Duchess by inviting her to the movies.

Gathering all the energy she didn't waste crying, Lizzie screamed

"Off with your head!" she said as she stared at him with red eyes from crying. The young man jumped a little in fright.

"S-Sorry...?" he asked, although he was scared. Still, it worried her to see someone crying in that place.

"Didn't you hear what I told you?! Get out! Get out!" she shouted at him, but her voice sounded more and more broken.

"It's okay, it's okay!" —he took out some tissues from his pockets—. "Here, so you can dry your tears. And, by the way, I wouldn't stay in this place for long; things can get... dangerous." The boy turned around and left. Lizzie kept the tissues and also left after hearing a noise that didn't sound like someone else at all.

The next day Lizzie was as if nothing had happened in the school cafeteria, she was sitting next to her friends Maddie, Kitty and Raven (who was invited by Maddie). While they were eating she saw in the distance the prince who broke her heart, Daring making more than one princess fall just by showing his smile. She frowned, she was angry, a lot but she still had certain feelings for him. Kitty said to her when she saw her

“Don't pay attention to him, princess, there are better things to be angry about” Kitty advised her, who from the beginning never liked that blond

“You're right Kitty, I'm going to practice Croquet, the team needs its captain to be prepared” She said, and left without further ado.

Lizzie headed to the croquet field with a firm step, trying to drown the pain with each step. She knew that croquet was one of the few things that kept her connected to her home. Upon arriving, she took her mallet and began to hit the balls with more force than necessary, letting out the accumulated frustration. With each hit, she mentally repeated that there was no point in continuing to think about Daring. However, her heart insisted on remembering his smile, his looks and that brief illusion that he made her believe. But her mallet broke from so much force that she exerted, she was redder than the red queen herself! Furious enough to explode right there! However, she did not expect someone to offer her a new mallet. “Here,” she turned around and found herself facing the boy from the day before. This time, he didn't lash out at her because he had honestly taken her by surprise.

“Thank you… Who are you?” The princess of hearts asked curiously.

“I'm [Name] Hollow. Nice to meet you.” The man cordially introduced himself.

“[Name] Hollow, what can I help you with?” He asked in a demanding tone, although with some curiosity. The young man ran his hand over the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“Well, I’d like to try to join the croquet team…”

“Really!?” She said in surprise. Usually, people who don’t fully understand what Lizzie is like avoid trying to join the team. Only a few did, and they still have problems with her.

“I even made my own mallet out of wood from the forest.”

Lizzie examined the mallet [Name] had offered her. It was crude and rustic, but well made, and the artisanal touch gave her a sense of familiarity that reminded her home

“Interesting… Although I must warn you, croquet is not a game for children. It’s aggressive, fast, and you have to learn to play to the fullest,” Lizzie said, assessing herself from head to toe with a defiant half-smile.

“I’m willing to try, princess,” [Name] replied firmly.

“Call me Lizzie.” She introduced herself formally.

She raised an eyebrow, surprised. Most of the boys in Ever After avoided their team or left after the first game. But [Name] didn't seem intimidated.

"So what are you waiting for?" Lizzie challenged him. "If you really want to join, you'll have to earn your spot."

So the two of them spent a lot of hours playing long games of Croquet, Lizzie was really enjoying each game and had forgotten all of her problems. Since then Lizzie and [Name] had started to meet more often and started to go out more often. Without realizing it, the boy's presence slowly began to repair her heart. Lizzie throughout those weeks had discovered something, that not everything in Ever After was as negative as she thought and that, perhaps, she can open her heart again to give love a chance.

#ever after high #lizzie hearts #lizzie hearts x reader #eah #eah x reader #kitty cheshire #maddie hatter #apple white

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screemnch · 1 year ago

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The Pathologic Russian and English analysis: Artemy Burakh the Haruspex Part 2.

I think I've officially been classified by the world's forces as a fanfiction author because of this, for you see... The reason it took so damn long for me to get around to this is because I was trying to not get deported, avoiding homelessness and having a generally horrific time. But that is none of your concern, I suppose, so let's cut to the chase.

As the Changeling: I can’t exactly say that there are many differences between the Russian and English versions of the Haruspex here - same as outlined previously, he is laconic, distant and impulsive. In terms of tone of voice, the main difference would be the constraints of grammar in the English language. Russian is quite a versatile language and allows for people to structure sentences very… Liberally. This is what I meant when I spoke about the Bachelor speaking with a very “deliberate” sentence structure. He would construct his sentences properly, with all the nouns and verbs there need to be in a sentence, never neglecting the “I” - speaking in a very proper manner, even when using not so proper words. In English it’d be quite difficult to illustrate where the difference lies - these two languages employ vastly different sentence structures. The curt tone of voice is furthered with Burakh particularly because he doesn’t structure his sentences formally. His communication is very barebones, often foregoing the “I” in what he says, for example, since it can be indicated through the form of the verbs used. I’d previously said his manner of speech reminds me of fairy tales, and I think it’s particularly because of that - the modern way of speaking is very individualistic. It’s all about explaining yourself clearly and concisely, putting emphasis on the person. Artemy doesn’t put much emphasis on himself in his dialogue, talking about actions instead. The order in which he puts words is also distinct from more modern sentence structures, though that is a bit more difficult to explain. Y’all aren’t here for that anyway so let’s get to the screenshots. Once again, the order of dialogue here is dubious at best.

I want to bring attention to the last sentence here (partially because I don’t know how much material I’ll have for this part of the analysis, so I’m just putting in whatever I want) - the original Russian version says “Where do [someone’s] eyes have to be to mix us up…” which is where I get to talk about Russian expressions. See, the implication here is that the onlookers eyes have to be positioned on/in said onlookers rear end - because that is a common way for Russian people to express that someone is inept at something. Someone’s clumsy and can’t do anything well with their hands? They must be growing out of their ass then! Though I can’t think of any other instances in which that would be used off the top of my head, but yeah. Ass eyes.

It is. So difficult to not just start talking about Clara right here and right now, she’s my special little blorbo and there’s so much about her BUT. I will limit myself to this note (yeah, right, we’ll see). Main things to note here - Clara goes from addressing Artemy informally to then using the formal version of “you” (or, I guess, the formal version of the verb addressing him because Russian is a totally real language that exists). This is combined with the fact that the way she asks Artemy who he is is specifically worded in Russian in a way that implies scrutiny. It’s extremely difficult to explain, the difference is in only one word but the literal translation would also not convey the meaning well. But basically - she asks him who he is in a standoffish manner, realises she’s talking to the Ripper himself and immediately goes to address him formally and here’s the kicker: instead of saying “don’t hurt me”, in the original version she said “don’t upset me”(literal) to which the English equivalent would be “don’t be mean to me”. So yeah, Clara realised she just gave snark to a murderer and immediately went for the “I’m just a little girl, you wouldn’t want to hurt me right?.” Comedy gold. (Or a stark example of how girls and women have to force themselves to be more palatable in fear of violence from men. You decide).

The focus here is on the “Love will find a way. Blockhead” line (the rest is for context). The sentence before that isn’t even present in the Russian version. In fact, the original version just says something along the lines of “You’ll find her if you love her” (with the exception that with the freedom Russian allows it was expressed in just two words.) I also had a good laugh at Clara calling Artemy “blockhead” because I thought it was a bit anachronistic (it wasn’t, the word was used as early as the 1500's and I swear I’m gonna have to start using MLA format citations for this one day aaaaa) but it suited the translation well, as the original insult that Clara threw at him was comparing him to a large and unformed mass of stone - a common insult for someone stupid. Just wanted to point out the fun stuff.

Entirely unrelated since I can’t be bothered to look for context for either of these, but the fact that they’re in proximity and similar to each other (while being very different in Russian) was kinda funny to me. The former being something along the lines of “So what do you need here?” and the latter meaning something like “Have you come with business?.” The second one also bears the hilarious implication that Artemy expected Clara to just… Come by on a whim, with seemingly nothing to do - either because he doesn’t think highly of her, or because there’s a precedent for people to come wandering into the Ripper’s hideout for no reason. Either way, once again - funny.

Listen, I don’t know if this is anything, and hopefully there are other Russian speakers who can tell me if I’m being a little stupid here, but! I also know that a large number of pathologic fans love to talk about this silly little thing called gender. And the fun thing about Russian is that everything here is gendered as all hell. In terms of “adoption” there are two words that essentially mean “to make someone (take them in as) your son” and “to make someone (take them in as) your daughter”. And it is a very common thing for anyone to say they’ve been adopted (as a son) regardless of their gender - since so much literature is oriented on men and talks about them more than it does women, so it’s a word that comes to mind first (had to talk to my mom about this, heehoo). However in this particular instance, Clara says that Alexander took her in as his son. It’s something entirely normal to say in Russian, and I don’t think that this thing alone is enough to build off of, but since I know there are people who would add this to a pile of headcanon justifications - I’ve pointed it out to you. Because I love you. You’re welcome. (yes I’m talking about Clara again, I can’t help it if she’s just better than everyone)

This! This is what the translation should’ve said in the Bachelor route!! I know I’ve already talked about this, but now I’m even more confused - they got it right with the Changeling, what was stopping them from recycling the same translation with the Bachelor? Like, I would like to think that maybe it’s an error on the side of the website I’m using (but also hopefully not, I don’t have the time to play the games at the moment) but it’s also entirely possible that the translation team translated this phrase TWICE instead of saving time. Because people aren’t always efficient. Anyways.

This isn’t as much of a translation thing as it is maybe an “I don’t know English” thing. I was really confused when I first read it and only after comparing it to the Russian version did I understand what the second sentence was supposed to mean. As in - yeah, I can tell how you could read this in English and understand it - but it isn’t intuitive at all. And I get it - it’s pathologic and very little is actually intuitive here. But I wonder if I wasn’t the only one confused. In Russian, the sentence states “if it weren’t for me, you would’ve drowned your town in blood.” A simple little clarification, and I think an argument may be made about the difficult to understand nature of patho’s writing but… There’s a difference between a message reaching the audience with some difficulties and the message not reaching the audience at all.

Hey hey it’s time for “Burakh (and maybe other characters, we’ll see) treats Clara as more of a concept than a tangible person!” In this edition we’re gonna be focusing on the “deadly girl” turn of phrase, where the original Russian version has him call her “girl-death.” Not in a sense that she’s the death of girls, or that she is the reaper with a pink bow over its hood, rather that she is “the girl that is death”. We saw this earlier in the Bachelor’s campaign, where Artemy referred to her as “evil,” meaning the concept of evil - Burakh seems to be prone to identifying Clara through these big generalised ideas, rather than giving her concrete qualities. It’s actually pretty funny, because Clara constantly appraises him in their conversation, calling him rude, scary, and mean. They both call each other demons though, so at least there’s that. Also instead of “henchmen” Burakh refers to Dankovsky being surrounded by “squires.”

From the same conversation - the second sentence is only similar in essence. Maybe I’m making it more of a deal than it is, but there is a hint of an apology in the Russian version, which goes something like “There’s not much faith in you; you understand that yourself” (Conveying vibes here). I like the distinction between “faith” and “trust” because Russian (fortunately this time) does have different words for those two concepts. And it’s interesting to me, what with how religion oriented the Changeling campaign is, that Burakh specifically says that he doesn’t have much faith in her. Something-something themes.

Unfortunately that is about all I have in terms of specific points to bring attention to. It sucks immensely that there was so little time for IPL to work on the Changeling campaign, because not only is she super interesting, but also because (for the sake of this particular analysis) the interaction that her and Artemy have are absolutely wonderful. On one hand they have a lot of comedic potential (which I know isn’t the aim of the game, but hey, I laughed a lot reading their dialogue) and on the other hand some of their dialogue is actually quite heartfelt. In comparison to the Bachelor’s campaign, we get to see the Haruspex from a very different perspective. There’s even a little bit of that “does not get paid enough for this” energy that most people like to portray him as here. There were not that many differences in the “did you know we were dolls” dialogue between Artemy and Clara, so I didn’t get to talk about it much but I would suggest anyone to read or reread it - there is a lot of wonderful insight into both of the characters in there. Haruspex saying that he is still human specifically because he didn’t figure out the situation he is in (as opposed to Daniil, who figured out they were dolls) and that he is actively choosing to stay in this unfair predicament because he knows that finding out the truth would leave him permanently scarred? I don’t know about you, but it made me go a little bit insane. And even with Clara having the ability to understand where he’s coming from and that you’re given the option to invite Burakh to the Cathedral even after we are shown that he is completely blind to the bigger picture? That’s different from her conversation with Daniil, in which they are both on the same page about being dolls. This conversation in particular seemed so earnest to me, and if I wasn’t talking about translation differences, I would do a whole bit dedicated to that conversation. Otherwise I’m just a bit sad, since I don’t have that much to say about the Haruspex in the Changeling route.

As usual - comments, concerns, feedback is welcome. Genuinely no clue about when the next instalment of this mess of an analysis is going to be, but we are finally going to talk about Clara properly, so keep an eye out for that.

#pathologic #pathologic classic hd #мор утопия #ramblings #artemy burakh #clara saburova #we're on to 21 pages in the insanity document #madness project

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