#in a gut wrenchingly sad kind of way

[kvothbloodless]

[forthegothicheroine]

Do you have any gothic novels that you can recommend off the top of your head? Especially to people who want to try their hand at the genre? I've hit a wall in my project and I need to get some fresh inspiration, but I don't know where to start and the book side of tumblr failed me the last time I tried asking them for recs

Hell yeah! I made some old posts for this a while back, but it's good to look at it again with my more recent taste! Let's see...

Classic Gothics

Dracula: The one, the only. Often imitated, never equalled.

Frankenstein: Short, sad and world changing! Can get a little slow at parts, but definitely worth it. (True story, my parents read this to me as a fetus to calm my kicking, so it's part of my personal mythology!)

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward: The most gothic of Lovecraft's work, and possibly my favorite. Novella length, usually found in collections.

The Picture of Dorian Gray: Sinister, sexy, philosophical, with a main character I want to punch in the face!

Carmilla: Another novella, about as lush and swooning as vampire stories get.

The Hound of the Baskervilles: A very readable gothic mystery.

Confessions of a Justified Sinner: This one isn't as action packed, but if you have big religious issues like me, it's incredibly haunting.

The Monk: Like the above, but sleazier and crazier!

Northanger Abbey: A gentle parody of early gothics, starring an adorable proto-goth girl.

The Italian: I'll be honest, I find Anne Radcliffe kind of a slog, but if you liked Northanger Abbey and want to read what Catherine Morland reads, this is probably the most accessible.

A Long Fatal Love Chase: This starts as campy and then takes a plunge into gut-wrenchingly intense. The book Jo March was always trying to write!

The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: Another novella, and Stevenson is one of the best writers out there for excitement!

The Werewolf of Paris: Gothic monster as serial killer, still scary today.

Rebecca: The foundation of all gothic romance to come afterwards. A ghost story without a ghost, with an ending that's still debated as happy or sad!

Jane Eyre: The other foundation of all gothic romance to come afterwards. I bounced off the child abuse-heavy beginning a few times, but I'm very glad I finally read to the good stuff!

The Castle of Otranto: Considered the first gothic novel, a goofy b-movie in written form.

Modern-ish Gothics (post-1950 or so)

The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein: Fuck the haters, I love this book.

Mexican Gothic: Genuinely scary, genuinely romantic, genuinely creative. A favorite.

Blackwater: A southern gothic saga of a family in a flooded town, whose scion marries a woman who isn't quite human. A whirlwind ride!

A Bloodsmoor Romance: Another family saga, this one northern gothic, with sisters whose lives all go off the rails in different supernatural ways. Give this a try before writing Joyce Carol Oates off entirely!

The Silver Devil: A nasty, problematic bodice ripper where you'll cheer for the heroine to bring the hero down low!

Interview with the Vampire: To be honest again, I'm not super into Anne Rice, but this is a page-turner, and every vampire book that has come after it has had to respond to it in one way or another. Read the next two Vampire Chronicles books if you like it!

A Taste of Blood Wine: My own preferred sexy vampire romance!

The Bloody Chamber: The ultimate dark sexy fairy tale work, accept no substitutes.

Haunted Castles: Contains the brilliant novella Sardonicus, as well as some other campy gothic stories!

A Great and Terrible Beauty: Many millennials were introduced to the gothic genre via this, Fear Street Sagas, or A Series of Unfortunate Events. This is my favorite of the three, though the sequels are a bit of a letdown.

Gormenghast: This series is a throwback to the pseudo-medieval, Otranto-style gothic, but much better. Don't read Titus Alone.

[fishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

I know there are so many characters in sweet tooth but can we PLEEEASE talk about Darwin?????

He reeks of younger sibling/older cousin energy. The way we learn about the passengers on the ship is heartbreaking. Gus having to dispose of the infected bodies while speaking to Darwin about who they used to be and the various relationships and experiences of the people is just -💗💞💓💓💗💗💓💞

Learning about Darwin and his relationship with the Captain is gut wrenchingly sad. The father/son bond that they had built hit me right in the feels.

He was so brave and kind and he DIDNT DESERVE TO DIEEEE

The mental strength it must have taken to look at this bright eyed kid who is looking to you as their last hope and to have to set up all the navigation and technology so that when he comes back he will have everything he needs to get to his destination AND THEN YOU WALK YOURSELF INTO THE OCEAN TO PREVENT THE SPREAD OF THE SICK TO THE KIDS OTHER FRIENDS?? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW SELFLESS AND BRAVE YOU HAVE TO BE TO DO THAT!??!?

His final act was to fulfil the orders of The Captain who he looked up to like a father. Stop the sick from reaching land.

In another life he and Johnny are sharing beers and going to music festivals together.

[crashthemode]

guys i'm so sad rn i've been thinking about wally and artemis all day and i just cannot shake this deeply sickening feeling at the knowledge that once they finally found something quiet for themselves after so fucking long, they only had twenty four hours to savour it without even knowing those were their last moments together unmasked. the last time she saw him he was wearing a mask bro i cannot fucking do this they didn't even get to say goodbye properly. they had to bury an empty casket she didn't even get to let him go properly i can't fucking believe this. and then she walks into the fucking watchtower and someone else is wearing the same fucking uniform oh god i actually feel unwell i don't think u guys get how gut wrenchingly horrid that is. everything they'd known for the last five years bundled up and forced onto the too-small shoulders of someone who shouldn't have even been there, or hidden in boxes because "artemis was wally's parter" and she can't even separate herself from the persona that stood beside the yellow and red oh god. and then they don't even get to say goodbye properly fucking zatanna and m'gann give her this fake closure that's kind of just a reminder of the fact that she will never ever have what she truly wanted. because all she really wanted was a life with him. simple and quiet and structured because they were meant to finish college together and they had a house and a family and a life and yet they only had twenty four fucking hours do u guys understand this it was not even a whole day before they were ripped apart again i cannot deal with this i'm about to burst into tears literally all artemis wanted was the one thing that was taken from her. how can i go on knowing all of this and having no way to rectify it. how the fuck. why. what the hell.

[miabrown007]

Power-Struggle Power-Couple

Ladybug's final mission should have gone smoothly. Quick and painless, as a professional of her scale always works. After all, there should be nothing special about the crown prince she has to kidnap.

Now, if only he would quit hitting on his hitman.

***

Ladrien prince/assassin AU

many thanks to @ladyofthenoodle and @chocoluckchipz for beta reading! <3

Power-Struggle Power-Couple (1,826 words, Teen, 1/1 chapter)

“Oh, this could get embarrassing quickly.”

Ladybug pinches her nose and mentally recites the thirty-five most effective ways to incapacitate her enemy. Anything to ignore Adrien Agreste’s disturbingly handsome face that hovers just a lunge’s distance away.

“I mean, I can understand why you don’t really want to talk. Kidnapping someone can be a tiresome duty, I get it. Lots of concentration, scheming, lots of moving parts. I’m okay with the silence,” he says. The cadence of his voice lets her know that—despite both his previous statement, as well as her desperate pleas—shutting up in the foreseeable future doesn’t rank high among his priorities. “But did you know that there is only one bed? That can get embarrassing quickly.”

“I’m aware,” she says, in the flattest voice possible.

Adrien blinks at her, then a jolly smile spreads on his face and he falls back on the bed—which is really a bale of hay at the otherwise empty loft of an abandoned stable. “That’s good. I’d hate to be the one to make this embarrassing.”

“I’m aware that there’s only one bed,” Ladybug clarifies pointedly, because, apparently, they are having a conversation about this now. “There’s no need for more, though. You can sleep if you want, but I certainly won’t be.”

Craning his neck, he eyes her from under his golden fringe. His hands, bound by the wrists, go over his head and rest at the back of his neck, as if he was on some luxury getaway and not in the process of being held hostage.

“A fan of sleep-deprivation?”

“We aren’t staying for long,” she says, coming to sit at the bale’s edge. She twirls a small knife between her fingertips, for good measure. She’s an assassin, goddamnit, with knives, and a final mission, and—overwhelming desire to leave this all behind and open a flower shop in the countryside aside—she’s dangerous. If only he would quit acting like he didn’t get that memo. “In a few hours, your family will fulfill my commissioner’s demands, and then, we can both go our separate ways.”

“I wouldn’t hold my breath for that.”

She peers at him from the corner of her eyes, but he looks equally as unfazed as before. “What do you mean?”

“Just that my father is not the kind of person who you can blackmail. He doesn’t let people get him into that position.” Adrien shrugs.

“Well, he is now. We have his son.”

“He isn’t a family-man, either.”

The flat retort does make Ladybug quiet for the duration of one, two, three blinks. She is nothing if not thorough , though. “You’re the crown prince.”

“That I am. If my estimates are punctual, for about an hour or two more.” When she continues to stare at him—now with a confused frown added to the repertoire of her facial expressions to shake things up a bit—he sneers at her. “I also have a twin brother. What do you think, how long will it take for the rumour that dilettante assassins mistakenly kidnapped the second in line to reach your commissioners?”

She twists in his direction with her whole torso, eyes blown wide. “He wouldn’t!”

Adrien holds her gaze for a short second, something gut-wrenchingly sad fluttering in the depths of forest green, before he shuts his eyes. “Well, you know what they say about that. Wait and see.”

But Ladybug doesn’t solve problems by trusting the whims of fate. Even if, realistically speaking, she knows this isn’t her problem. She’s just a hitman who gets paid either way. There’s no reason for her to care. But for some reason she still reaches out, hand hovering over him until she finally settles for poking him in the side.

“He wouldn’t,” she repeats, with conviction this time. “He wouldn’t, because that would mean that my commissioners would have to make an example.”

She isn’t superstitious, but words have weight. She won’t say it.

Adrien is seemingly unaware, or uncaring, of such damning possibilities.

“You would have to kill me. I know.” His tone is light as a feather, but if she listens carefully to the silence, her practiced ears can pick up the swallow.

“He will not,” she spits.

She scoots up on the bale and peers out on the window by his head, but there’s only the lonely midnight of the orchard stretching below them. There’s not a soul—not even a messenger pigeon—in sight.

The bale moves under her and Ladybug’s grip tightens on her weapon, but it’s only Adrien rolling to his side and tucking his hands against his chest. When he looks up at her, he has a smile about him that jiggles. “It’s fine, if you have to kill me. I won’t hold a grudge.”

“Of course you won’t! You’ll be dead, you jester!”

She swats him on the shoulder, which proves to be an intimidation tactic of below-average success. He bursts out in a guffaw.

“Hey, stop that! Death is no laughing matter!”

Ladybug tries to make his laughter stop by plastering her palms over his mouth. That proceeds to go reasonably well up until the second moment of the endeavour, upon which Adrien promptly licks her palm. She sounds rather unassassin-like as she snatches her hands away, falling square on his chest with the momentum.

It isn’t her fault, though. That was a dirty trick.

“It’s my death, not yours. I get to make as much fun of it as I please,” Adrien says. His voice comes out a little breathy, and she can’t decide whether the culprit lies in his wheezing laughter, or on top of him.

At any rate, Ladybug pushes herself up into the most dignified sitting position she is able to conjure. If that’s straddling his hips while she stares down at him… Oh well.

“I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t diminish the significance of this issue. We’re talking about my profession, after all.”

“Have you ever considered changing career paths?”

“Every day. In fact, if you really want to know, this is my last mission,” she says.

She strokes away the golden locks falling in his eyes and tucks them behind his ear. His breath comes out in an uncertain huff. Her lips curl up at the edges.

“And what will you do after you’re done here?” he asks.

“I’m heading to the sea. Buying a cottage. Selling cut-flowers. Stuff like that.”

He smiles up at her, eyes glinting in the low light of the sole candle. “Sounds like you know your area of expertise. But—and forgive my manners for asking such things—aren't you too young to retire?”

Ladybug draws an eyebrow. “Don’t you talk too much for someone who’s currently being abducted?”

His whole body trembles under her as he chuckles. And even though it’s a lovely sound, she’s still thinking of a way or two to silence him. None of them involve any of her usual arsenal.

“You’re the expert, you tell me,” he says.

However, what he says appears to be the last thing he’s paying attention to. His bound hands wander to her hip, thumb swiping over the exposed flesh where her crimson tunic has ridden up her side in the mighty quest of wrestling him. His eyes flash at her, experimental. Ladybug doesn’t hesitate as she grabs his wrists and pins them over his head.

Her hair cascades down around them, leaving them in darkness.

Her vision has never been clearer.

“Yes, you definitely talk too much,” she says, lacing their fingers as she kisses him.

[read the whole fic on AO3]

[whatsnewalycat]

I love designated person in the way that i love sour candy. I know it hurts to eat it at some point but i love the way it feels up until that point. It’s the same way i love the story but i’m anticipating a gut wrenchingly painful and sad spanner in the works to be thrown in, you know?

Anyway, i can’t wait to see how sarah’s birthday goes. Looking forward to the next chapter:)

@sanfransolomitatm

This brings me so much joy, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me 🥺💘 I definitely know what you mean. I really wanted to bring that kind of “I know it will probably hurt me but maybe this time it will be different” kind of energy to the story. The uncertainty of knowing whether or not to trust someone who has hurt you before is excruciating.

I have like… two chapters and an epilogue of a different series I really want to finish before picking back up with Frankie and Mariposa. But holy shit I miss them so much. I’m gonna put some vague spoilers for future chapters below the cut here don’t feel obligated to read if you don’t want to ~

I’m planning a story arc I haven’t really tried before in a series. Which is to say that we will be hitting rock bottom soon, but it gets better from there.

Like i said above, there’s the “maybe this time it will be different” aspect of this story. And really, things will only be different in these types of relationships when the people/person perpetuating harmful behavior actually changes and the harmed party forgives them.

So. Our boy, who is full-on dry drunk status at this point in the story, is going to have to make big changes in order to absolve himself from the harm he’s caused mariposa. Not only that, but she will have to forgive him, too. It’s a tall order but i think we can do it.

[yoddhasblog]

I was warned by every review i read that this book was gut-wrenchingly sad and moves at the pace of a worm but I still read it, with caution, bracing myself against all the horrifying plot points. You all should be proud of me. This is not going to be spoiler free.

What I liked about this book:

• As said in the screenshot above, I don't think I've ever read a book this well-written. Every emotion, every pain, every experience of the characters is something that is described in clear and unbiased narration. I've become a fan of the author's writing style.

• I liked and was relieved about the fact that the scenes involving sexual assault weren't as graphic as I had feared. Author didn't use them for shock value like a lot of people do, that doesn't mean they weren't heartbreaking to read. She described the details needed to understand our 'one of the main characters' Jude's backstory and present trauma and fears but the plot isn't nauseatingly riddled with them in order to exploit the pain.

• It was kind of refreshing to see characters going through the side effects of major traumatic events without it seeming like a quirk. I mean, don't get me wrong, i don't particularly enjoy people suffering but I'm sick of authors treating the word trauma as just a little quirk that disappears as soon as they have lovers or friends. The way Jude was written was by far more realistic than any other person I've read about.

• Overall, I wanted to cry and ended up tearing up in many parts of the book. I just wanted to climb into the pages and tell Jude that he is lovely and he didn't deserve anything that happened to him. I don't think I'm going to stop thinking about him anytime soon.

What I didn't like about this book:

• It was needlessly lengthy. You could remove at least 200 pages without it affecting any character or plot. I admit I skimmed over some passages which had no action and i didn't miss anything.

• I had absolutely no idea in what year or timeline the events of the book went down. We know they had phones, internet and advanced technology for prosthetics but that's it. There's no mention of any real-life event that could indicate what year it was.

• Conclusion: Can't really find a lot wrong with this one. Will continue endlessly thinking about this one.

[appalachiabrat]

i like ur blog u seem neat :) tell us about a dream you had recently

aw ty i love ur blog <3

i was waiting to respond to this until i had a good dream to share and i had a wild one last night. by now some of it is fuzzy, but i'll do my best to remember it all:

it was dark out and i was riding a bike or some kind of weird vehicle through the trails i saw in the poconos, but all of the trails led back to my old preschool. as i was riding, i looked down and saw a puppy clinging to the bottom. when i reached the preschool, which was also my house for some reason, i picked up the puppy and told someone i found a little poodle. but the puppy quickly grew up by the time i brought him inside, and whoever was in the house/preschool was like "no that's not a poodle, that's a pitbull," in a way that was like discriminating against pitbulls. and i looked at the puppy and saw that it was a pitbull. but i love pitbulls so i just hugged the dog close to me and knew it was going to protect me. and then someone tried to break into the house and the dog did protect me and chased away the intruders. and then after that whole ordeal, i went back onto the trails/roads and had to go to my best friend's birthday party and it was in the mountains and he was having a pool party in watkins glen state park, like IN the waterfalls. and i was like "jason my dog saved my life you have to come meet him."

and that's all i remember lol but it felt very important and i should probably psychoanalyze it a bit, but i also feel kinda sad and empty because i miss my dream puppy. the gut-wrenchingly intense soul ties we form in dreams are so beautiful and so devastating !

[beca-mitchell]

Oh my! I just read that same fic late last night and it’s been on my mind ever since. It’s been a minute since I’ve read something like it (probably since forgive me for these nov days). It’s gut wrenchingly sad, but like so beautifully written. Like I wanna read it again bc it’s so good but so tragic I don’t wanna read through it/feel that way again. It’s like a “hurts so good” kind of angst but not with the happiest of endings. I’ll just be sitting at my silly desk thinking of this all day 🥲

omg our minds. i referenced november days in my comment to the author because i absolutely think there is a parallel to be drawn here between the authors' portrayal of chloe. i loooove when people write chloe like this - nuanced and full of love. the backdrop of angst just made it so much more...

i woke up this morning at 5 am for some reason and decided it would be a good idea to re-read it...it was not. because i was ugly sobbing by 5:30 and then just laying there unable to breathe because of my own snot by 6:30. sdkfksf now i'm a zombie at work LOL

god. GOD.

[slytherinshua]

THE BOYZ‼️‼️ I'M A CASUAL DEOBI, BUT I LOVE THE BOYZ i haven't listened to a lot of their songs yet, but I like watch it and I love nectar 🥹 and BACK IN THE GAME SON 🔥🔥🔥 확실한 CHANGER 🔥 I'M A I'M A I'M A MAVERICK 🗣️🗣️ I'M A I'M A I'M A MAVERICK 🗣️🗣️🗣️

Rn my bias is probably eric he's such a silly guy 🤏 and also sunwoo he is just iconic actually

Are you working on your hanbin angst is it going to rip into my soul

I don't have much planned for today, I think I'll get some work done. I have this world history assignment that I have to research for, and school restarts on 15th august for me so hahahaha

other than that I might try to cook something nice today I kind of feel like it

ALSO ZANNA DO YKU HAVE ANY SHOW/MOVIE RECS I AM LOWKEY DESPERATE 😔 idk anything fun, or gut wrenchingly sad I don't mind

-🪿

OH THE TASTE???? HELLO 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 sometime soon i'm gonna make a the boyz guide presentation and when i do you should look at it and stan them fully 🦅🦅🦅 i'm in a debilitating the boyz era rn like its BADDD

ERIC NOOOOOOOOO ERIC IM SO FUCKING EMO HES S OSKJFDHWEUY&(@*T#^RU HES SO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SUNWOO??? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SUNWOO IS SO ICONIC 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SUNWOO AND ERIC ARE SO ICONIC TOGETHER AS WELL THE HONEYZ IM SDKFJHEF@*YR#GUVEH IM SO SAD???? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 okay im so sorry im just so emo for EVERY SINGLE MEMBER LEAVE ME 😞😞😞

i fear i am...... and i think it will rip into your soul...... i'm so very sorry......

omg good luck 😞😞 that sounds awful but i hope you'll slay 😞😞 my school doesn't start until sept i think but i have a whole course that i haven't even touched that i'm supposed to finish somehow... before school starts... uhhh..... so we'll see chat whether i fail or slay (i'm thinking i fail) COOKING OMG 🥹🥹🥹 i hope whatever you make turns out delicious!!!!!

HMMMMMM okay well mostly kdramas ig i have some recs off the top of my head...

doom at your service (romance, the best enemies to lovers ever, so heartbreakingly beautiful and perfect oh my god)

weak hero class 1 (kinda dark, high school setting, the best most jaw dropping acting from park jihoon, you'll be hooked every single second of every single ep it's impossible to not love this show)

move to heaven (ONLY IF YOU WANT TO FUCKING CRY but def one of my favourite shows ever its beautiful in such an indescribable way)

extraordinary attorney woo (if you want the most green flag kdrama in all of existence that is both super interesting and the romance is super cute you will come out of it ready to fight to the death for like at least 3 characters)

alchemy of souls (super long but the best kdrama in the entire world it has everything you could ever want i cannot say enough good things abt it but to put it into perspective i showed it into my mom and its her favourite show of all time she keeps talking about it to every single one of my family members and her friends like the aos agenda is REAL)

so yeah that's that for kdramas.... as for movies tbh i don't watch many :( but anything studio ghibli !!!! honestly i rarely watch stuff nowadays unless its kpop cause i haven't even been feeling like kdramas lately idk why :(( so i just watch wishies behinds and stuff instead skdjskd

[chuluoyi]

1) I absolutely live the way you write. I am in love with it. Like I scream like a fan girl when I see new work from you.

2) It's a request. I want to read so.etching extremely gut-wrenchingly sad. Please. Please. Please. Something either with Nanami or Gojo.

hiii anonn!!✨ omg i actually wanted to reply this ask for a while now but can’t bcs i can’t think of anything gut-wrenchingly angsty😭😭 but thank you thank you thank you!!!🤧🫶🏻 you’re so kind you don’t know how giddy your words made me feel!!

and now, i know just the thing for your request! i need help with the angsty part and with my 1k event ongoing, you can choose from the prompts and send me a request with them!!🥹 maybe you’ll be inspired by those and add your own idea too!!

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Wow. Wow wow wow this HURT. But it hurt in such a gut wrenchingly beautiful way. Mandos in love is my favorite breakfast cereal, even when it comes topped with honey bunches of angst.

I love the way you focused on Din’s thin shred of hope that it might be alright. Most of the time he is very stoic and accepting of things because having emotional reactions doesn’t solve or change anything. But we’ve seen him become emotional and cling to hope when it comes to the ones he loves (Grogu) and it’s a perfect reminder that he’s a living breathing feeling human being under that armor, and it’s the same here. He’s not just the hardened warrior he shows his enemies. He’s not just the dependable fighter who protects the covert. He’s not just the intimidating figure in the doorway of a cantina. He is a man who has known love and happiness and loss and joy and pain and sorrow and comfort and relief and regret, and even though in this story we only see him experiencing the lowest of lows, it’s so damn crystal clear that he has - with reader - also had the highest of highs. He’s known her and seen her and kissed her and loved her and had had all those things returned to him by her. They had a beautiful relationship and even though she’s gone now he’ll always have her with him. He will always be able to recall those good times and look forward to a day when he can see her and feel her presence again and that connection is something that not even her death can break. It’s the boldest kind of love and even when it hurts it is just so gorgeous.

There were so many stunning descriptions here that I could go on for days about- the taste of dirt on his gloves, the way her blood felt in his beard, the way his armor would look when he got up - I could see this all so clearly. Din fitting her helmet back on is something that will be etched into my skull forever.

This truly was beautiful. So so so sad, but so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this!!

Congratulations on your milestone! That’s amazing! You deserve it so much! I was hoping to request one of the prompts.

How about “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.” with Din.

You can make it as angsty as you want. I don’t mind. I like angst and I like fluff.

Thank you so much!

Hello, my sweet! Apologies for the delay in getting this out. I've gone full heart breaking angst, and I enjoyed every second lmao. Thank you for sending a request angel, I hope you enjoy! x

before you go

din djarin x f!mandalorianreader

Word count: 1.2k Warnings: angst, blood, injury and death

He knows it.

Somewhere deep inside of him—he knows it, but he still clings to hope, still looks towards the light despite being shrouded in darkness.

His hands shake as they raise up to grasp either side of your helmet and pry it softly from your head, indifferent to the sounds of battle still echoing around him.

You were safe here, hidden with him behind some destroyed walls that had taken the brunt of most of the explosions. There was no one here to see you at your most vulnerable, face free and bared to the stars. No one would come, too occupied with the fight to even notice the disappearances of either of you.

He’d looked upon your face a handful of times during your extensive time together, and even though he knew the curves of your face clearly, knew the angle of your nose and the shape of your lips, the vision of what had been hidden beneath your helmet was a sweet surprise each and every time.

It’s bad, he knows it, but… but maybe it’s not. Maybe it will all be okay. Maybe you just need a moment. Maybe—

He tears his own helmet off and lets it fall to the ground beside yours, ignoring the familiar vision of them together, so similar in shape and build, the smooth beskar reflecting the shine of moonlight and the occasional flash of more blasts.

Red soaks the roughened palm of his glove when he pulls it away from cradling your head, and warmth of it radiating against his skin threatens to bring bile up his throat. His insides burn, the mix of molten rage and panic tightening his stomach into knots.

“Cyare,” he mutters, heaving you further into his arms and pressing his bare forehead against your own in an effort to press life back into your limbs.

You can take his—take it all, just open your eyes.

Dirt and the taste of blaster fire sits on his tongue when he hurriedly bites at the tips of his glove and tugs it off, but he doesn’t care because he feels it. Beneath his bare fingertips where they press into the side of your throat, he can feel a weak drum and it’s enough for him.

It’s enough to keep him grounded, enough to keep him curled around you and hoping the breath he shares with you is enough to pry you out of whatever inky abyss you float in.

“Cyare, you need to wake up. You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

It’s bad, but maybe it’s not that bad.

Maybe it will be okay.

“Din,” you croak brokenly, and his heart flies.

He moves away from pressing into your forehead, just far enough to see the flutter of your lashes and the furrow of your brows but not enough that you don’t feel the reassuring wash of his warm breath over your face.

You’re here, you’re still here, and that’s enough for him.

“I’ve got you,” he breathes, letting one corner of his lips tug up into a brief semblance of a smile when your eyes finally open slowly and come to an unsteady focus on him, “I’ve got you, cyare.”

Your mouth opens, but no words come out. It’s a clear struggle, and his fingers brush along the skin of your cheek to calm the difficulty you have finding your voice.

He gives you a moment, and then another, patiently waiting for something, whether a single word or sentence, he doesn’t care.

The battle rages on in the distance, but he doesn’t dare move. He sits, arms tight around your armoured body, waiting for the reassurance that his hold is enough to keep you together, enough to keep up that soft drum beneath your skin.

“I—I can’t… feel a-anything,” you finally rasp, and a drop of blood starts to pool at the edge of your lips.

The galaxy shatters around him.

He knows.

Of course he knows.

He can feel how limp you are in his arms, how some of your limbs dragged unnaturally when he hauled you from the thick of the fight and into your secluded safety, and he’s positive the shine of his armour will glisten with red once you leave his arms.

The hope wavers in his chest, and he attempts to swallow around the thick lump sitting at the back of his throat. There’s little to add to your words. He knows, and now you know. He sees it in your eyes—the slow build of understanding that there’s no coming back from this, that this was it, the end of it all.

“Din—”

“I’m here.”

It’s not just a reassurance, it’s a promise.

He won’t leave you like this, bleeding and broken and departing from this existence alone. He’ll stay right where he is, till the very end. He’s sure that if you had any energy, you’d argue. You’d tell him to go, to fight, to leave you and save himself the agony of having to watch you die.

Instead, you’re left to lay in his arms, eyes tracing every familiar dimple and crease of his face, remembering the way his coarse splattering of facial hair felt against your skin and the way it tickled your lips whenever you were graced with a rare physical kiss.

He doesn’t know how long you have left, so he takes one more opportunity to remember the feel of your soft lips, eyes screwing shut in an effort to calm the sting of tears as he attempts to pour everything he couldn't say into that final press of lips. He holds there, against your mouth and savouring what he could, uncaring about the way your blood feels melting into the dark scruff covering his chin.

When he pulls away, he sees a tear of his own sitting on your skin, sliding down your cheek alongside your own and he’s sorry he wasn’t strong enough to hide it from you.

“I… I’m with you,” you whisper weakly, eyes noticeably heavier, “a-always.”

He watches the last breath get dragged between parted lips and he swears his heart stops with your own. He hears the broken inhale that is never balanced with an exhale, and then he knows you’re gone.

Gone.

It echoes in his mind, chipping away at the tightly wound restraint he has on his emotions. He couldn't break, not here, not now.

No, he makes a silent vow he would see this all through, that he wouldn't disappoint you wherever you are. He'd carry you with him, until the day comes where he might see your face again.

He doesn’t move for a time, taking his one last chance to memorise every little detail of your face before he finally rests your limp frame delicately against the ground and reaches for your helmet.

It's solid in his hold, and he carefully cradles your head to slip it back over your head. The heavy thud of his heart only fuels the rage simmering in the pit of his gut as he carefully returns you to a warrior, ensuring your helmet was fit snuggly before reaching for his own.

He takes a breath, the modulator crackling with the pain of it, along with one final moment of weakness to steal one last keldabe kiss with the gentle press of beskar, before standing and leaving you among the rubble and ruins, kicking back off into the air with a new fire flowing through his veins.

-

Tags: @maievdenoir, @javier-pena, @lv7867, @dihra-vesa, @katronautt, @radiowallet, @januarystears, @missminkylove, @beskarprincessjenny, @mswarriorbabe80, @danidrabbles, @amneris21, @eri16, @absurdthirst, @hnt-escape, @acourtofsnakes, @ezrasbirdie, @mstgsmy66, @lovesbiggerthanpride, @coaaster, @sherala007, @greeneyedblondie44, @wyn-n-tonic, @you-got-me-starry-eyed, @shirks-all-responsibilities, @withasideofmeg, @harriedandharassed, @andruxx, @buckybarneshairpullingkink, @spideysimpossiblegirl, @prostitute-robot-from-the-future, @tanzthompson, @mad-girl-without-a-box, @hope-for-the-best-98, @fangirl-316, @christina-loves, @jediknight122, @hallway5, @xoxabs88xox, @nicolethered, @churchill356, @massivecolorspygiant, @just-here-for-the-moment, @gracie7209, @pinkie289, @lavenderluna10, @goodgriefitsawildworld

[the-bau-quinjet]

Walk Me Home

Chapter 3 of In Breakable Heaven! I don’t love this chapter, but it felt necessary. idk. Everything picks up in the next one!

Summary: It’s pretty much all in the title! 

Warnings: confronting a cheating ex

Word Count: ~2200

“You really didn’t need to walk me home. I didn’t mean to make you leave earlier than you wanted.” You said as you walked next to Spencer.

“Trust me. I’m normally home by now anyway.” He replied easily. You shifted closer as you thought about the buildings surrounding your apartment complex.

 “Where do you live?” You blurted out, unable to think of anything else to say.

 “Oh, I live in Langham Apartments.” He replied. You thought about the name, recognizing it as you had toured there when you first moved to DC.

 “Isn’t that North of Penelope’s though?” You said, double checking you were walking south toward your own apartment.

 He sighed. “Yes… I know what you’re thinking. Your place is definitely not on the way to mine, but I didn’t want you to walk by yourself and I didn’t think you would let me walk with you unless you thought it was convenient for me. More than 70% of violent crimes happen at night, and midnight to 1:00 AM is the busiest hour for many of those crimes.” You stopped walking, turning him to look at you by grabbing his hands. “Thank you.” You said it with as much sincerity as possible, wanting him to know how much you really appreciate the action.

 You dropped one hand so he could turn back around, but held the other as you walked down the street in a comfortable silence. You were still drunk enough to not think anything of the innocent act. A cat ran out in front of you, scaring you in your still tipsy state. You jumped into Spencer, with your hands grabbing his arm, and you pulled yourself closer to him. He laughed as he saw the source of your sudden fear. Shuffling past the feline, you didn’t make any effort to distance yourself from him. If anything, you leaned on him more as you grew tired throughout the walk.

 You didn’t want to say goodbye as you arrived home. Spencer, being the incredibly intelligent and observant person he is, felt you tense beside him as you turned the corner and your building came into view. “Are you okay?” He asked as your grip on his arm tightened.

 “Yeah, I just… it was a lot easier to think I would be able to get rid of all his stuff before actually having to look at it.” You replied.

 You saw something flash across Spencer’s face before he stuttered “I, uh, I guess, I could, um, go up with you, uh, if you think it’ll help.” You turned to him, a small grin slowly spreading across your face.

 “That would be amazing. I just don’t think I can be alone right now.” You were entering the elevator, pressing the button for the fourth floor before returning to cling to his arm.

 Nothing could have prepared you for the sight in front of you as the elevator doors opened. You held tighter to Spencer’s arm as you realized it was Drew standing in front of your apartment door. He looked almost sad, but quickly shifted to anger as he glanced down at your hands around Spencer’s arm. “Drew, I don’t want you here. I want to move on from my life and pretend like you were never in it.” You could feel the tears pooling in your eyes, threatening to escape as you confronted Drew.

 “I came to apologize, but obviously you already found someone to move on with. You were probably already sleeping with him.” Drew’s words felt like a whip hitting you in the face.

 “How. Dare. You.” You spit back at him, the tears giving away to pure hatred. “You are not even the least bit sorry. God. You don’t get to yell at me for having a friend- that’s right A FRIEND, help me through the complete bullshit you’ve put me through. You are the one who cheated on me. On our fucking anniversary. You don’t get to spin this around and act like I’m a bad person for trying to forget you. Get the hell out of my apartment building or so help me god I will…” You trailed off, not knowing what you could possibly say that would intimidate him.

 “You’ll what? You can’t do anything to me Y/N.” Drew’s eyes were cold and careless as he laughed at your rage.

 “She actually can. She can file a restraining order.” Spencer started. “You see, I work for the FBI in a unit that specializes in catching the world’s worst criminals. We’ve handled our fair share of stalking cases. I will not hesitate to see you prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law if you so much as think about contacting her again.” Spencer’s eyes were hard. He was staring down at Drew as if he were invincible. You clung to him as Drew muttered “Yeah, whatever. Like I’d waste my time on her anyway” before leaving.

 You forced a smile on your face as you walked into your apartment and looked at Spencer. You wanted to be happy that he’s gone, completely out of your life, but you just felt empty. You have experienced way too many emotions for one night and you know exactly what you need right now. Rushing over to your speaker, you turn it on and pull up your Taylor Swift playlist for when you are feeling everything all at once. What can you say, the woman really knows how to write emotions. As you hear the soft music of this is me trying begin to play, you sink into the couch and start crying.

 Spencer shuffles over from where you left him by the door. As he sits next to you, unsure of what to do next. He’s not really sure why you put on this song. It sounds like it will only play into your upset state. You know you just need to flush yourself of the emotions before ridding your life of him entirely. Instead of asking about the music, he surprises both of you by pulling you into his lap and rubbing circles on your back. The small gesture is so kind that you start crying even harder, remembering how nice you thought Drew was. You aren’t sure how long you cry for before you eventually fall asleep.

 -- 

Reid’s POV

Spencer wasn’t sure why he was so set on walking you home, but upon seeing your reaction to Drew standing outside your door, he’s very glad he did. He’s never really been an intimidating person, but there was some instinctual feeling in him to protect you. Not that he thinks you need protection. He just knows you are in an emotionally fragile state and the man who put you there just accused you of the exact thing he had done hours before. It was pretty messed up. Maybe that is why he threw all his rules out the window for you.

 He really doesn’t understand the choice of music. Although, it does cover a range of emotions. The only thing he is completely sure about is that he never wants to see you this sad ever again. Maybe that is why he pulls you into his lap. You clearly need comfort right now, and it would be worse if he just awkwardly left. His barrier to touch has never been broken down so easily. It takes a lot of getting to know someone before Spencer would ever even consider shaking their hand.

 The songs shift from gut-wrenchingly sad to sweetly reminiscent to seductive before he’s sure you’ve fallen asleep. Every time he tries to stop rubbing your back, the softest whimper leaves your lips. At least, that’s what he tells himself as he drifts off, dreaming about meeting you under happier circumstances.

 --

 Y/N POV

In typical fashion after a night of drinking, you wake up around 6:30 wide awake. As your eyes adjust to the dim light, you notice you are still on the couch, but now laying down, with Spencer’s arms still wrapped around you. He looks so adorable sleeping. You slowly untangle yourself from him, so as not to wake him up, before walking into the kitchen for some water. It’s always good to hydrate, even if you don’t ever feel the hangover.

 You began thinking about what you could do to thank Spencer for everything he did last night. Not to mention you forced him to sleep on the couch. You settled on breakfast, but you knew if you started cooking you would wake him up. After finally deciding on a plan, you quickly get dressed. You grabbed your keys and left a post it on the door saying you would be right back, just in case he woke up before you returned.

 You quickly ran across the street to your favorite diner. Not knowing what Spencer would like, you order pancakes, French toast, an omelet, two different breakfast skillets, a sandwich, and sides of bacon, sausage, and toast. While you’re waiting for the order, you walk farther down the street to the small coffee shop you frequent. Again, you could only guess how Spencer liked his coffee so you ordered your usual mocha with extra sugar, a cold brew, and a hot black coffee. After collecting your drinks, you make your way back to the diner to pick up the food.

 It is a struggle to re-enter your apartment with all the food you just bought in your hands. When you finally push the door open, you see a confused Spencer sitting up on the couch glancing in your direction. He glances at the bags in your hands and his confusion only grows. With his help, you finally manage to set everything down on the counter. “Coffee?” You ask, gesturing to the cups.

 “Which one is for me?” he chuckles. “Oh! Right, I got a few different kinds since I didn’t know what you’d like. You can just take your pick and I’ll grab one after.” You begin to unpack the food choices as he tries the first coffee. Almost instantly he gags.

 “That one must be mine.” You say sheepishly as you take the cup from him. “That’s the usual response when people try my drink of choice.” He looks at you funny as he settles on a cup.

 “Really? I thought that was a normal order. I just like my coffee different than pretty much everyone.”

 You look at him as you take a sip of the drink, instantly spitting it into the sink that was behind you. “ew ew ew, that is black coffee. That is disgusting. Oh my god how can anyone drink that.” You chug some water to rinse the taste from your mouth. “Which coffee did you pick?” you ask as you grab the creamer and sugar to fix the monstrosity in front of you.

 “The sweetest one…” Spencer looks almost shy as he admits how sweet he likes his coffee.

 “Ahh, the mocha with extra sugar. That’s my go to.” You say as you dump the sixth spoonful of sugar into your dup. He stares at you in amazement as you finish stirring the now creamy looking beverage. “Much better” you exclaim after taking a sip.

 “I have never met anyone who likes their coffee as sweet as I do.” Spencer has a dopey grin on his face as he looks at your cup. “It’s refreshing not to be judged for something so minute.”

 “I know exactly what you mean! It’s so weird how people can think they are superior for some reason just because their taste buds don’t automatically reject the disgusting bitterness of unsweetened coffee. I mean, I’m still a perfectly capable adult even though I like sugary things. You don’t have to fit into some mold…” Your rant fades from your mind as you meet Spencer’s gaze. “Sorry, I tend to ramble.” You look sheepishly at the floor, immediately jumping into describing the foods you bought. “Now, as for breakfast. I wanted to say thank you for last night, but I wanted to make sure I got something you liked.”

 You scan the array of food you’ve placed in front of you. “You can even feel free to have some of each if you want!” You say as Spencer just stares at you with a look on his face that you can’t quite place.

 “You are incredible,” he says as he takes a seat and gets some food. You don’t really know how to respond to that, so you just grab some food for yourself as you sit down across from him.

 Talking with Spencer during breakfast is so easy. It’s almost as if you didn’t have a major break-up less than 24 hours ago. All too soon, breakfast had come to an end and there are no more dishes to do or leftovers to clean up to stall anymore. Spencer grabs his bag and says “I should probably get going, I have a few errands to run.”

 You let out a small sigh before responding “oh, yeah, of course. I wouldn’t want to keep you. Thank you again for everything yesterday. It was really nice of you.” Spencer shrugs before responding, “I just wanted to help,” turning and walking out of your apartment.

 After locking the door behind him, you sink to the floor fully letting your strange mix of emotions take over. You just might need to listen to that playlist again, only now you’re feeling a range of emotions instead of just a range of sadness.

 tag list:

@mac99martin @eevee0722 @l0ve-0f-my-life @haylaansmi @dinonuggets15 @laurakirsten0502 @green-intervention @burnin-passion

[earstwo]

     ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

I hit 7k recently after losing almost 1.5k followers when I converted to a Reylo blog (not sorry in the slightest) and decided it was time to finally compile some of the INCREDIBLE fanfics that I’ve read since joining the fandom in December. 

I’m constantly impressed by the talent around here and I'm so grateful to love a ship that has some of the most amazing content I’ve ever seen. The creators in this fandom are second to none. I’m so thankful for all they do and all that they give to us. 

Please keep never stop sharing your gifts. <3 

**Note: Most (pretty much all) of these are rated E. 

Without further ado, here are (some of) my favorite stories: 

The Jedi Path  by SouthsideStory | 19k | E | I am such a sucker for Jedi Academy Ben and Rey. It’s everything I never knew I needed, and this fic is a beautiful rendition. If you know me at all, you know that I devour Angst with a Happy Ending stories, and this is no exception to that rule.

Exile by Ernzo | 22k | E | Oof. This one hurts. Leia sends Rey to the planet where Ben is exiled. It’s angsty and sad and cathartic in every way. I’ve read it dozens of times. 

Before the Saber Swings by @waterlilyrose​ | 28k | M |  Fuck. When I tell y’all that this story fucked me up, I mean it from the bottom of my s o u l. It stayed with me for days. I literally couldn’t get it out of my head. It felt so real to me that I was in physical pain while reading it. I also made an AU gifset of the fic with a quote from Buffy because I’m extra and love pain. 

penitence by @bettsfic​ | 16k | M | Look, Betts is one of my favorite fanfiction authors of all time. Her Bellarke works are some that I’ve read dozens of times and I was fucking ecstatic when I found out she also writes Reylo. This is an A+ TROS fix-it that is lovely and soft and sweet. 

The Writings of Ben Solo by BurnedStars777 | 39k | E | This was recced to me by the fabulous @galacticidiots​ and is just a fantastic story all around. Rey finds Ben’s journal whilst stuck on a planet with Kylo Ren and she (eventually) connects the dots. Rey falling in love with Ben sight unseen? Here. For. it.  find a thread to pull, and we can watch it unravel by again_please | 17k | E | A fantastic post-TLJ story with angsty and broody Ben and just some all around quality smut. I devoured this and have read it multiple time since. 

We Could Plant a House, We Could Build a Tree by @likeadove​ | 124k | E | I will probably never stop reading this fic. It’s such a beautiful coming of age story for Rey and her relationship with Ben as she grows up is just... gah. It’s fantastic. Please read it.    

Soul Searching by OptimisticBeth | 205k | E | Soulmates AU where Ben is Rey’s teacher? Sign me the fuuuuck up, and Soul Searching is so fucking well written. I go back to this one every few weeks and just gush at how great the world building is. I love the relationship Rey has with Leia and Han. It’s rich with love and angst and fluffffff. So good. 

Coveted by OptimisticBeth | 82k | E | WIP | OptimisticBeth is just an incredible writer, so you should honestly read all of her stuff, but I am so, so, so into this fic. It’s A/B/O and Ben’s Rey’s pack leader. He, along with a bunch of other Alphas are trying to court Rey, a highly desired Omega. It’s so fucking delicious, y’all. Alpha Ben Solo is just...it doesn’t get much better. 

A Treehouse Covered in Salt by violethoure666 | 34k | E | This fic made me cry my eyes out. I’m not kidding. It’s so raw and real. It hurts to read at some points, but you care so much about Ben and Rey in this that you fight through the pain. They grow up together as neighbors and Han builds them a treehouse where they meet throughout their childhoods/teen years. Prepare to cry but also be so fulfilled and satisfied. It’s wonderful. love it when you call me lover by @kylotrashforever​​ | 66k | E | WIP | First, let me say that anything by KTF is going to be gold. These fics I have listed are just a few of my favorites at the moment. Lover is hot as fuck (as is all of her stuff) but also fluffy in the best way. It’s in Sadsville right now so I’m fucking PUMPED for her to update. Ben’s a doctor who basically gives Rey a sexual awakening when he proves her statement of “I just don’t think I can come from (insert sexual act here)” very, very wrong.  

mountain at my gates by @kylotrashforever​ | 26k | E | More A/B/O goodness. Omega Rey’s car breaks down on a mountain. Ben is a mountain man Alpha. You can probably guess what happens from there. *fans self* 

take me to church by @kylotrashforever​ | 26k | E | I love this story so much. Ben is the pastor’s son at the church Rey grows up in. They start hooking up in secret and are terrrrrrible at communicating with each other which leads to angst. But it’s so sweet and soft while also being super hot. I love this Ben and Rey so much. 

Your Pretty Little Heart by @ever-so-reylo​ | 64k | E | The A/B/O Reylo bible, I feel like. They’re doctors and he’s a grumpy as fuck Alpha. Shenanigans ensue. And by shenanigans I mean a lot, a lot, a LOT of sex. 

The Food of Love by @lovesbitca8​ | 60k | E | Y’all. If you haven’t read this yet, please stop what you’re doing and read it RIGHT NOW. I ate this fic up in one sitting because holy SHIT it’s amazing. It’s so well written and the story is just... absolutely exquisite. Ben is cellist that’s also a famous rockstar and Rey’s an up and coming violinist and they fall in loOOoOOve in the best, most angsty, sexiest way. Please just read it right now. The scene when she firsts goes to his apartment and plays one of his cellos............you guys. It’s a lot.

Already Home by AttackoftheDarkCurses | 81k | E | This is soulmates + A/B/O so naturally I am obsessed with it. Rey gets connected with her soulmate via a website and he’s going by the name Kylo Ren. At the same time, she’s also moving in with grumpy librarian Ben Solo. She falls in love with both but has no idea that they’re the same person. It’s INCREDIBLE. 

Tangled but Unbroken by AttackoftheDarkCurses | 20k | M | I read this the other night and it’s so fucking soft. I am such a fucking sucker for growing up together fics and this is just such top quality. The braiding kills me every goddamn time. Also, I’m making my way through all of Attack’s works right now and they’re all incredible. Highly recommend. 

Dear Mr. President by @shmisolo​ | 89k | E | I love this Ben so much. The characterization is so on the money. The angst is absolutely delicious. The smut is top brass. Oh, and did I mention they’re soulmates? It’s everything you need, I promise. 

Good Day, Professor by @faequeentitania​ | 38k | E | One of the best Professor Solo fics out there. I’m such a sucker for age difference fics. Of course there’s angst, who do you think I am? 

Embers by sciosophia | 34k | E | Breaking up/getting back together fics are some of my favorites and this one is fantastic. The pining with these two is ridiculous. You just want to smush their faces together. It’s a beautiful love story. 

Reclaimed by @bettsfic​ | 14k | E | Ughhhhhhhhhh, Reclaimed. I am so in love with Reclaimed. Alpha Ben adopts Omega Rey after she’s rescued from this terrible Alpha that held her captive for most of her life. She doesn’t talk and Ben has to help her learn to be a human being and not just a subservient Omega. This Ben is the Ben of my dreams. No contest. 

the following are all written by  @kylorenvevo​. please read them all if you haven’t already. 

landscape with a blur of conquerers | 362k | E |  Y’all know this shit is fire. It’s basically the bible. If you haven’t read this yet, consider this as me yelling at you to do it NOW.   

like young gods | 84k | T | fuck, the Sword of the Jedi series is incomparable when it comes to in-universe fics. I cannot begin to express how much I love this story. It’s so soft and intense and sad. Like, gut wrenchingly sad. Ben senses Rey on Jakku when she’s six and he and Luke take her back to the Jedi Academy. She grows up with Ben. 

to kingdom come | 145k | M |  The sequel to Like Young Gods. I’m not gonna spoil much here, but just know I cried through most of this fic. I downright SOBBED at the end. It’s gorgeous and I will never stop rereading it. The love these two have for each other... it’s unreal. 

i kill giants  | 34k | E | WIP | The TROS fix-it we all need. Ben is alive and finds Rey on Tatooine. It’s soft and Thea does a great job of soothing so many of the gaping wounds we were left with after TROS. My heart soars every time I read a new chapter. This is what we deserved. :( 

the heartbreak prince | 58k | E | WIP |  Harry Potter AU. Professor/student. Size kink. Virginity kink. ANGST. All the good things life has to offer. Professor Solo is fucking filthy in this and I (along with Miss Niima)  am here 👏 for 👏 it. 

place the moon at my eyes (and her whiteness shall devour)  | 29k | E | Another breakup/get back together fic that I absolutely adore.

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Thank you to everyone that’s been so kind and welcoming to me the past couple of months! I love this fandom and its energy and enthusiasm and how much everyone seems to care for each other. I hope that I can continue to create content for you forever <3 

[picassopickle]

so I went to see spider-man: no way home yesterday.

spoilers under the cut. it’s just me rambling about thoughts. 

I’m not ok. 

I wasn’t expecting the movie to be so heart-wrenchingly devastating. I don’t think any other mcu movie has ended on such a low note? I can only think of Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man 2 being as gut-wrenching as that ending, and at least he still had his Aunt May even if nothing else.

I was trying to avoid spoilers as much as possible (although I knew Andrew and Tobey were gonna be in it) so I was COMPLETELY not expecting May to die. Like, that knocked me sideways. An incredible scene. I don’t think anything can top that death. Tom’s acting was phenomenal... and then the cops starting to shoot at him while Happy is getting dragged out of the car... oh my god. 

For most of the movie I kept saying to myself... well at least he’s got Happy as his final parental figure? Like sure, he’s lost his parents, and (probably) his uncle Ben, and then Tony, and now May. Happy is still there for him, and is perfectly capable of being some kind of support figure for Peter, as seen from the first two movies. And then there’s also MJ and Ned.. at least he’s got them, right?

NOPE.

I’m not keen on the whole memory wipe thing, but I’m guessing Disney have plans to explore a new arc for Peter without MJ and Ned.

I have a funny feeling we’re probably not going to see MJ, Ned or Happy for a whiiile. I think this is how they’re going to introduce some new characters to the universe. Idk. I’m actually not sure we’re going to see Happy again. Ever. Which I’m pretty sad about tbh. 

I am all for another movie with Andrew and Tobey though, particularly Andrew. He absolutely killed it. Hell, I’d love to see them in their own universes again but that’s never gonna happen. 

Also Daredevil. Sorry, I mean Matt Murdock, defence attorney. Yes please. It’s been a long time coming, but boy am I glad to see him again. 

[samsilver975]

Alright everyone! Since everything seems to be going down tomorrow, I figure it’s as good a time as any to finish up these character analysis! This will pretty much be the SBI, with a few others, so get ready for part three!

Connor:

I know his role has kind of been comic relief, but like that he’s pretty much the only one willing to ‘forgive and forget.’ He says he doesn’t blame Tommy, and that he’s just confused, which is a surprising amount of wisdom from someone in a Sonic onesie.

Sapnap:

His role in doomsday was smaller and did more for Tommy’s character than his own, but it’s worth mentioning. Even though he was Dream’s friend, Tommy was able to pursuance him to Tommy’s side, an ‘alliance?’ that lasted past Doomsday. But more on that later...

BadBoyHalo:

What the hell is even going on with the egg. Writing about that side of the plot is a whole ‘nother... egg to crack.

Tubbo:

Tubbo’s character was surprisingly hard to write about. I think a lot of people kind of see Tubbo as the innocent best friend with not much else to characterize... but sitting down to write gave me a really hard time. Tubbo is not as innocent as he seems. The biggest thing comes after today’s (the 19th?) stream, when Ranboo confronts Tubbo about Snowchester’s true purpose. Tubbo was the president of L’Manburg. He saw how it corrupted Quackity, corrupted him. But now he’s saying he want’s Snowchester to be independent. When questioned, he says, “It’ll be different this time,” completely shocking Ranboo. If you remember my analysis of Quackity (I not so shamelessly suggest you check out my previous posts) I said that he and Tubbo were to two most affected by the government they formed. The two that ended up becoming two halves of Schlatt. But where Quackity realized how alike he and Schlatt had become, Tubbo... didn’t. Even now he doesn’t see the mistakes of the past or what they mean for the future. For whatever reason, Tubbo didn’t learn. He doesn’t realize that independant factions, truly independant factions, are a really bad idea. Forcing the idea of indepedence down Dream’s throat is a bad idea. Maybe he wants to prove that he’s capable of being a leader, but L’Manburg was doomed the moment Wilbur decided to rig the election. It had its good points sure, and I don’t entirely agree with it being blown up, but it also had some bad points... and I can’t tell if Tubbo acknowledges them. Tubbo’s character has been in the background for so long I think, that he hasn’t had his chance to shine outside of Tommy’s shadow, so maybe that’s playing a part too. Whether this is Tubbo being naive or actually power-lust I don’t know, but Tubbo, for all his forgiveness, is shaping up to be one of the most dangerous people on the server. And he doesn’t even know it yet.

Foolish: (honorable mention, not a part of Doomsday)

‘I’m not going to be a part of canon!’

Joins Snowchester. Antagonises the Eggpire

‘Haha... I’m in danger!’

Philza:

I really didn’t like Philza’s arc. Not to say it was bad or anything, but compared to everyone else, his story was kind of... meh. He just seemed to stagnate a bit. Like, he supports the anarchists obviously, but his entire character arc seemed to just be ‘oh, I live in the nation and have no opinion on it otherwise’ to ‘oh, this nation kind of sucks, it doesn’t need to exist anymore.’ Which, yeah seems like a pretty big change but... it wasn’t as impactful I guess? I also didn’t like how little emotion he showed to Ghostbur after L’Manburg’s destruction, but I’m not sure he really thinks of Ghostbur as a separate entity from Alivebur. He doesn’t have much sympathy for a being that he hopes will only be temporary. At this point, I can’t really tell where the character is going. Hopefully we’ll get some answers in the hopefully coming Ressurection Arc.

Ghostbur:

Of all of the arcs during season two, the one to me that was the most gut-wrenchingly sad was Ghostbur’s. He’s an interesting character because of the limits on his memory. I may be inaccurate here, but it seems like Ghostbur not only is unable to recall sad memories, but is incapable of making new sad memories too. At first, he was kind of the comic relief. Innocent, awkward, the friendly optimist. But... not everything with Ghostbur is so straightforward. I think, on some level, he remembers what Alivebur did. Not like a proper memory maybe, but a lingering notion, an almost-feeling. Something inside of him is still guilty, otherwise, why would he avoid talking about Alivebur’s actions? Why would he avoid Fundy? By all accounts, Ghostbur should be a stagnant character, and in some ways he is. He continues to be innocent right up until the very end. But in the end, he changes. He watches, time and again, as everything he builds, everything nice he tries to do for people, blows up in his face. Time and again, nobody feels any sympathy for him; he’s the background comic belief after all right? He doesn’t count as a character, right? I think that mindset played a big role is his decision to be brought back. And even if he can’t fully understand what is going on, he still feels enough to decide he doesn’t want to be Ghostbur anymore. It’s erily similar to Alivebur. Alivebur did what he wanted, and when his purpose was complete, he wasn’t needed anymore, he asked Phil to kill him. Ghostbur feels he was outstayed his welcome, he isn’t needed anymore if everything he does was for nothing, so he asks Phil to kill him. Ghostbur and Alivebur may be two different people, but they are two sides of the same coin that is Wilbur. Ghostbur, even though he doesn’t fully understand sadness, wants peace. He tried to give it to everyone, but I think he’s realized he won’t find peace on the SMP. But he doesn’t just want to die, he wants to do good for the server even in death. By bringing back Alivebur, he feels that he can help people. That may or may not be the case depending on what Alivebur is brought back or if Alivebur even wants to come back (I personally think, once he sees L’crater, that Alivebur will be pretty content). I leave you all with this: how could the scar still hurt, if there was nothing to hurt for?

That’s all for now! I’m fairly certain I’m going to reach a word cap if I continue. I’ll post the finale, Techno, Tommy, and Dream directly aftet this post, sometime tonight. Also, something I couldn’t find a place for anywhere: I didn’t want L’Manburg to be destroyed purely because I am a builder at heart, and seeing the pretty buildings get destroyed physically hurt. Emotional and political trauma? Nah. Sad because material wealth was destroyed? Yah. Anyhow See you in a minute! (The above paragraphs are purely opinion. You are entitled to your own! Feel free to comment your thoughts down below!)