#impressive that with only four contestants we still managed to make it different

[accirax]

Disventure Camp All Stars Power Ranking (Round 17)

Episode 18, the last episode before the true finale begins (presumably)! As we seemingly walk down memory lane, will the cards play out as expected? Or will we be blindsided yet again?

In case you haven't seen my previous power rankings, the Power Ranking Format is essentially a way of ranking how well each player is doing in the game. So, in essence, this is a long form way of predicting who I think will be eliminated from the competition in the next episode. There will be spoilers for last week's episode (obviously) and its power ranking, so make sure to read that first if you don't want to be spoiled on how I ranked our last boot. If you want more clarification on the rules, that first post will help you out as well. Furthermore, I'm going to be spoiling the preview for next episode, so if you want to go in TOTALLY blind, save this for later. Let's go!

Recap - Grett's Elimination

Current Score: 74 acquired/109 total

(Points versus @venus-is-thinking: 25 acquired/34 total)

Howwww was it not Riya?

Well, at the very least, I seem to have a talent for choosing who Riya's meat shield will be and correctly putting them right behind her in the rankings. But, wait, for the sake of that metaphor, shouldn't they be in front of her? Either way, Riya is causing others to take damage to fuel her success, which was directly portrayed in last week's episode.

Anyways, Grett. Absolutely one of the highlights of the season, even if it became pretty obvious to me that she wouldn't be making it to the absolute endgame. I'd expected it to be Riya in Episode 17, followed by Grett in Episode 18, but it makes enough sense to me that it could be flipped the other way a--

HEY, WAIT!

SPOILERS FOR MY OWN POWER RANKINGS!!!

Trailer Analysis

I don't know how much analyzing the trailer is really going to change my predictions, but there's a lot of interesting stuff in it anyways.

Yooooo, Emily's got the Miles Edgeworth bright red sports car! I assume her and Trevor are going somewhere to further their season-spoiling quest, Trevor likely ditching work while doing it.

So, given Jake's hair, I think we can safely assume that this scene happens after the dialogue scene shown at the end of the trailer. I'm also going to guess (given that it isn't dusk/nighttime) that Jake gets another hair tie at the start of the challenge, given that he's shown with his ponytail there.

I initially assumed that this was part of the challenge, but the challenge takes place in the maze from the s1 face your fears challenge. So, I guess this is just an effort to distract Connor and help him have fun? It's nice to see that Ally can still get along with the guy.

Alright, so the challenge seems to be assembling the outfits of a contestant that you were close to, the items of clothing hidden throughout the maze. Also, there's some sort of mechanic that lets contestants shock each other using the shock collars. Jake is holding Tom's gloves, and Ally Ashley's hat, so that's who they're doing. The other two figures both appear to be men. I have to assume Connor is doing Alec, because, like, who else? But also, who the hell else would Riya do...? Fucked up if they both have to fight for Alec. Possibly more fucked up if Riya has to do Connor while he's still in the competition.

Oh my god, Riya does have to do Connor; those are his glasses right there. Imagine if Riya starts ripping his clothes off to save time. Probably not the reason why Connor would have wanted that to happen.

"Here. It'll keep it from falling." "How's it look, doc?" "It's giving." "Giving? Giving what?"

Ah, more classic Connor old man jokes. I don't really know how a hair tie on top of a bandage would possibly be giving, but, you do you, Jake.

Power Ranking

#1: Jake

Jake is not going to be eliminated. He's the only season 1 character left. If there was a threat of him being sent home by Ally or whoever, I have no doubts that the writers would simply create a challenge that he would win to make him immune from going home. Also, he's going to win the season. Thank you for your time.

#2: Connor

Alright, on to the actual difficult decision of the power ranking. Really, Connor is the one who's manifesting this second place position for me. He's the one who keeps saying that he's going to beat Riya in the war between them. With this much hype leading up to it, that has to mean that he places better than she does, right?

The tricky thing here is that, right now, there are two heroic boys and two villainous girls. No matter how you slice, it you're going to wind up with a final 3 containing two of one and one of the other. However, I do think it's more likely that they'd have two "heroes" in the finale than two "villains." I already think it's obvious that Jake is going to win, but if it's Jake versus Ally and Riya, they should just hand him the $3mil three episodes early. Keeping Connor in the game will leave some level of suspense in the air, as well as keep the whole finale from becoming Jake vs. the Forces of Evil. (DC and SvtFoE must be kept away from each other at all costs. Letting their insane shipping energies combine would create a love triangle so endlessly potent that it could wipe out entire countries.)

Really, Connor's main issues come down to his injury. In this episode with a very active challenge, I have to imagine that it'll keep him from winning immunity. Thus, Riya, and possibly Ally as well, will likely be voting for him. And then, even if he makes it to the finale, we face the problem of "how can Connor be an engaging finalist if his broken ankle basically starts him dead in the water?"

This episode is easy enough to let slide, given that there are plenty of advantageous ways the vote could shake out. Ally could agree to vote for Riya with Connor and Jake, Riya could agree to vote for Ally with Connor and Jake, or Riya and Ally could split their votes (like Riya on Connor and Ally on Jake) leaving Connor and Jake as the majority. And, even if Ally and Riya do vote for Connor, there's always the possibility that he could win a tiebreaker to stay in the competition. Venus came up with that as an idea for how their "war" could end, and I think that could be pretty interesting.

As for the finale, I think it's fine if Connor doesn't have much winner equity as long as him bowing out at 3rd place finalist paves the way for a dynamic final duo to close out the season. However, that part really depends on who's becoming part of that duo with Jake. Speaking of...

#3: Ally

I really, really think that Ally will be in the finale. The finAlly, if you will. However, between her and Connor, I think she would be the more likely one to be eliminated.

Something that Venus reminded me of is that this is the last episode before we check in with the Loser's Motel. Thus, whoever is eliminated here will be a part of that episode, as the most recent move-in. I already said last week that it seems like Connor probably doesn't need to go to the Loser's Motel, as he wrapped things up with Alec when Alec was eliminated. Between the two of them, I think it'd be much more valuable to let Ally finally talk more with Hunter and Tess, as well as seeing the reaction to her on social media, than anything Connor would be doing there. Giving Ally the Loser's Motel episode to finish out her character journey could be helpful, so that she doesn't have to fight for screen time with Jake and the other finalist (lol) in the finale. Ally could serve as the main character of that episode.

I guess I could also see it making sense to have Jake beat Ally now? With a Jake/Connor/Riya finale, maybe the direction they'd take it is that Jake already won his interpersonal battle, so while Riya and Connor fight things out (with Connor beating her to get his spiritual win), Jake gets to focus on his own game to come out on top. Although, that does then make it seem like Jake and Connor would be the final 2, which is a pretty non-hostile conclusion to this overly dramatic show. Also a not-at-all-tense one, when one competitor is almost double the age of the other and hobbling on one foot.

I don't really know why I'm trying to argue so hard that Ally is going home. Perhaps I'm pre-justifying it for when the person right behind Riya in my rankings goes home instead of Riya again. But-- say it with me now-- it HAS to be Riya this time, right?!

#4: Riya

I really don't see how Riya gets out of this episode alive. Like, yes, in-universe, she could probably win immunity again. But, even in-universe, I feel like Jake and Connor would legit rather let Ally win immunity by losing their own chances tackling Riya to the ground to prevent her from winning again. And then what, she winds up in a 2-2 tiebreaker? That she definitely loses to Connor, and almost certainly Jake if she were to fight him as well?

Riya is not a finalist. I refuse to believe that she will be. I really, really don't think that, after everything, they're going to let her into the finals again. It makes so much more sense for her to go down at final 4. With only one chance left, I really hope the writers finally take her out this time.

Alright, well. Not much to say with this one, given that I really don't think that Jake is going home and I really think Riya is. Please let that be right this time. For everyone's sakes.

[charlie-rulerofhell]

For they know exactly what they do

Today there was a pretty long article published in the German newspaper FAZ, written by Julia Schaaf. Since there were quite a few interesting topics raised in it and Måneskin talked about some new aspects (or in more detail), I translated the whole thing (it might also have helped me to procrastinate).

Full interview in English under the cut.

For they know exactly what they do

June 22, 2021

Four young rock musicians from Rome are today's hottest band. Måneskin are enchanting Europe. Why? We met them for an interview.

Every romance needs its founding myth, an anecdote from the beginning, something you can tell later in more difficult times for self-assurance.

In the case of the band Måneskin, who first had Italy and now half of Europe wrapped around their fingers, and who are now trying to conquer the rest of the world with their rock music, there is the story of the shoe box. Rome, around five years ago: Four teenagers who are meeting every day after school in their rehearsal room to make music together, and sometimes they play their songs on the Via del Corso in the city centre in front of a changing audience. One day they want to record their own stuff. They find a studio that they can actually afford and as they go there they bring a shoe box, with the name of the band written on it, 'moonshine' in Danish, the bassist's mother is Danish. In the box: around seven kilogram of coins. The things you get from playing music on the streets. Everyone searching through Instagram for photos from that time can find four hippies with children's faces, three boys in batik, the girl is wearing a straw hat.

As they have to pay [for the recording], frontman Damiano David, 22, says that there was this guy, Angelo, and his bandmate Victoria De Angelis, 21, is interrupting: “No, Andrea, not Angelo”, and all of them have to laugh because a rigid studio manager with the Italian name 'angel' would be even funnier for a founding myth. David continues his story: “The guy was completely dumbfounded. 'We can't do that.' We went: 'Sure we can, that's worth the same even if it's just 20 cent coins, it's still 300 euros.” Thomas Raggi, 20, the guitarist of the band, is gasping for air as he laughs, while drummer Ethan Torchio, 20, is smiling dreamily. David finishes: “And then we snuck off before he was able to count it.” [the German text says 'verdrücken' here which is just a colloquial way of saying 'we left', but it entails some sort of a dramatic exit, so yeah, let your thoughts get creative how they left exactly :D].

Four young musicians on the verge of global fame are sitting on a white interview sofa in Berlin, completely styled, babbling across each other like overeager teenagers.

Ever since the Roman band first won the music festival Sanremo and then also the Eurovision Song Contest, carried by the enthusiasm of European viewers, you could say Måneskin has become a phenomenon. “Rock 'n' Roll never dies!”, Damiano David yelled fueled by the adrenaline of winning, and the insinuation that circulated on social media of the singer snorting during the counting of votes in front of a live camera – including their strict denial followed by a negative drug test result – might have given an additional boost to their public interest, their exploding album, ticket and merch sales, and their outstanding success on Spotify.

“We think it's a shit prejudice against rock music that there always have to be drugs involved. We fully threw ourselves into our participation with the utmost professionalism. We give everything for the music. So of course we don't want people to think that we can only do that because we take drugs.” – Victoria De Angelis

Prior to Eurovision, Måneskin was more of an insider's tip outside of Italy. Handmade rock music, not creating something entirely new but paying homage to the good old times with classic guitar riffs and cracking drum beats, being a lot of fun but also quite fragile and vulnerable at times and, first and foremost, conveying a captivating energy. Finally, on the stage of Rotterdam, live after so many months of isolation and renunciation, this wave of energy spilled straight over into European living rooms. It seemed easy to (mistakenly) interpret the winning song “Zitti e buoni” (Shut up and behave) as a declaration of frustration of our youth in times of a pandemic. In fact, singer Damiano David is singing about the favourite topic of the band: the unrelenting need to, against all odds, be yourself, despite or perhaps because you are different. The message fits their provocative sex appeal, which the band uses to demonstrate their independence of gender norms at any given time. But the core essence of rock music has always been the promise of unlimited freedom.

Thus at the first moment, the meeting with Måneskin is kind of startling. It's Wednesday, we are in the top floor of the new Sony head quarters in Berlin. The four Italians have just started their two-week long promotion tour through Europe. In the afternoon there will be a live concert in a queer club [the SchwuZ, but that's not mentioned here] in Neukölln, which will be streamed via TikTok. Around one million viewers will watch the show, some of them even from Brazil, so people at Sony are pretty excited [for Måneskin to come here]. But at first, these stunningly gorgeous creatures [yes, that's the exact wording :D] are standing surrounded by an entourage of people – their management, PR team, a stylist, a photographer, people who can hold a smartphone or a cigarette if needed [this paragraph is worded a little weirdly, especially taking into account that basically their whole team / 'entourage' is just friends of them, but it seems like the journalist didn't know that or maybe they just wanted to describe their first impression]. They seem like fictional / artificial characters out of a Hollywood movie. Transparent frill blouses with blazers and flared leather trousers, even the platform boots, everything brand-new, the makeup makes their faces look like a glossy magazine cover even in person. The smokey eyes of De Angelis and Raggi make them look smug and bored. Later, on the pictures it will probably look cool.

So of course your first impression might be: This band is under contract to industry giant Sony ever since their success on an Italian casting show [X Factor] in Winter 2017. The music industry must have its hand in the game when a band is photographed half-naked by Oliviero Toscani and styled by Etro. Also, one does not simply rent a villa with a pool in Rome to produce new music there, isolated from the rest of the world. And who else went to London for two whole months, shortly before the winter lockdown, just for inspiration? After the TikTok concert in Berlin – De Angelis and David are now wearing fishnet shirts that sparkle with every move, their bare nipples covered with an X of black tape – the band is posing with a few influencers. In the world of social media you would call that 'producing content'. But what does that mean for a band who are preaching their hosanna of authenticity? How authentic is Måneskin? And is their pointedly casual approach to sexuality and gender cliches in today's pop-cultural spirit more than a marketing strategy?

We're in the interview, the recording device is running for not even five minutes, when Victoria De Angelis says: “Actually, we just try to be ourselves and do what we really want to do.” And really: The more you listen to those four how they speak about the early days of the band in their slurred Roman dialect, about the shoe box and their own experiences with being different, but most importantly about their shared obsession [with music], the more you realise that [De Angelis] is  very serious. Ethan Torchio, who got his first drum kit at the age of six or seven from his father because he was beating everything he could reach, says: “For me, music is like food. I cannot live without it.” The bassist next to him laughs at his pathos. Singer Damiano David applauds the otherwise more reserved friend for his truthfulness [it says 'klarer Punkt', meaning 'for the point he makes', but it makes it seem like Damiano is agreeing with Ethan here, although it doesn't indicate whether he agrees that yes, music is everything for Ethan or that he understands and feels the same].

De Angelis and guitarist Raggi already knew each other from middle school and they were the ones who tried to form a band at the age of only 13, a band that actually took music seriously.

De Angelis: “It's just difficult at that age to find other people who really put everything into music and who truly commit themselves and are willing to invest a lot of their time.”

Raggi: “We set strict rules and scheduled fixed times for the rehearsals, for every day.”

David: “Fever, stomach ache, there was no excuse. Even if you were feeling sick in the rehearsal room. At least you were in the rehearsal room.”

The way the four of them talk across each other, completing each other's sentences, taking turns in talking and sometimes joking about each other, seems intimate and playful. Singer David remembers how at first bassist [De Angelis] was merciless towards him when it came to her first metal band project, as she told him that he wasn't committed enough [to the music]: “Back then I was still playing Basketball. I was one of the people that Vic absolutely didn't want [in her band].” Drummer Torchio was later discovered through Facebook, even though there had already been a drummer, a close friend, but he was not good enough. It seems as if even back then music was everything for them. Even if it meant that only Raggi managed to graduate.

And why rock, why rock music of all things? Because it's great, the four of them say in unison. David adds: “Actually, it's a genre that allows you to do everything you want to do.”

When they played on the street, they were laughed at by their classmates. But not only there. De Angelis explains that she never wanted to be a typical girl: “I was always deterred by those stupid boxes that people put you in, and that are just restricting and constraining you, because something is only regarded as male or female. I always rejected that. Instead, I just wanted to do the things I enjoyed doing, I went skating and played football.” Torchio says: “Friends who are not friends anymore were already telling me at the age of ten that those“ – he grabs his long, silky black hair – “were wrong. Because I'm a boy and boys are meant to have short hair, long hair is only for girls. I was bullied a lot for that.”

“Compared to the past, people in our age became much more open-minded. It gets better.” – Thomas Raggi

Frontman David on the other hand, for whom eye shadow, jingling earrings and nail polish as well as his bare torso with the tattoos have become trademarks by now, says: “I was actually more of the average boy.” De Angelis convinced him to try out some eyeliner, which he describes as a spiritual awakening: “I liked myself much more [with makeup]. I saw myself more as myself. As if it had been a suppressed desire of mine.” On a trip to Copenhagen with the others, when he realised that it really didn't matter what people were thinking about him, he got his first fake fur [coat? the article doesn't specify that] in a second-hand shop and let his clothing style be guided by his own love to experiment: “I realised that my whole life I was just going at half speed.” When it comes to diversity all four of them are becoming almost missionary.

At the same time, their success is not only opening doors for them. Back home in Rome they are barely able to go out on the street due to all the paparazzi. “[You need a] hoodie and huge sunglasses”, David says, “the mask is quite helpful, too.” And still, none of them is complaining, and Torchio explains why: “Even if those experiences right now may have sides that are not so pleasant, we still know that for us a dream is coming true. We experience something that we always had in our minds, so we are willing to face every consequence that this entails.”

So is the band facing difficult times, is Måneskin going to change with all the success? Again, all of them answer at the same time.

David: “I'm not worried about that.”

Raggi: “No way!”

De Angelis: “On the contrary. Everything that happened to us happened because we are who we are, so we want to continue the exact same way and stay ourselves.”

Just a few hours later, they are at the stage in Neukölln, bouncing around like pinballs, hammering at their instruments, flirting with each other. “We are out of our minds, but different from the others”, David sings their winning hymn against conformism, and: “The people talk, unfortunately they talk.” Here on stage, the four paradise birds [a German word describing someone with a flamboyant personality] with their half-nude-glittering outfits are radiating an incredible energy with the utmost sincerity, and you begin to wish there was a live audience instead of the TikTok cameras, absorbing and spreading this energy. Måneskin. A cry for a life after the pandemic, a cry for freedom and a better world.

“We do what we wished for all our lives.” – Ethan Torchio

[pintsizeddeepthoughts]

Tell Me a Story: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - J.K. Rowling

Year: 2000

Country: United Kingdom

Confession: I never read the Harry Potter series growing up, mostly due to teenage "I'm too cool" reasons. However, after 20 years of obstinate resistance, the walls have crumbled and it is finally time…

One of the things that continues to impress me about Rowling's writing is her understanding of trauma. Not only does she realize what happens to Harry in this novel is deeply traumatic but she makes sure to spend the final hundred pages letting Harry process it. It's deeply moving and the payoff I've been waiting for this whole series.

Naturally, this comes after the climatic events during the Triwizard Tournament in which Harry’s name mysteriously is entered without his knowledge. In the final event of the tournament, Harry once again faces the series antagonist Lord Voldermort who has once again obtained corporeal form thanks to a well executed plan. Rowling does not skimp on the horror and revulsion, presenting Voldermort as perverse of body and mind. Harry is completely overmatched but stands his ground, facing death rather than hide from it. Harry does not beat Voldermort so much as survive, managing to bring the body of a fellow tournament contestant back with him.

It’s the bringing of the body home, then confronting the monstrosity of what happened that distinguishes Rowling. When Harry hugs Mrs. Weasley, Rowling turns the screw by remarking it’s the hug of a mother - touch that Harry has been denied all his life. It’s a heartbreaking moment that Rowling earns, cashing in on the collective effort of almost four books to sell it. It works and we the reader feel the weight of Harry’s survival guilt and his sorrow for what he’s had to face.

While I enjoyed the first three books of this series, this is the book where things begin to pay off. Rowling, unshackled from page constraints, builds a much more mature story with fully realized characters. Gone, largely, are the caricatures, replaced by complex people working on different levels. Dumbledore comes into his own in this novel, dropping his doting demeanor and assumes the role of wise sage and leader. Moody, even before his unmasking, works on several levels as a fully realized character. It’s great to see Rowling not waste the opportunity she’s been given.

The story does lag in points but overall the plotting is tighter, more intricate, and much better mystery. The plot does not feel like a mousetrap like in Prisoner of Azkaban, but fully grounded in character motivation. Rowling still has a tendency to use exposition instead of gradual reveals but the effect does not detract from the novel’s overall affect. The next book is the longest in the series. I actually look forward it

[fishylife]

Street Dance of China, Season 4, Episode 4

- I’ve had issues with Tumblr not saving my posts again v.v I’ll just save often and hope that that does the trick.

- Latrice and Ibuki reenacting HB’s performance haha. From the behind the scenes clips I’ve seen, Ibuki does speak English, so I like to think they are now friends :D

- Hilty & Bosch have known each other since they were six years old T_T That’s cuuuute. Apparently they don’t get into arguments a lot because they always keep a distance between them XD Good strategy.

- San’er’s performance was great! He definitely brings the entertainment in his creativity (including incorporating a story line), but he doesn’t forget about the technical parts of dancing (the popping).

- Bouboo cheering on Rochka when he challenged Jianyan :P

- This spinning move he did was neat

- 不咋地 is going to be the recurring inside joke between Yibo, Rochka, and Bouboo ^^;;

- Yixing singing the SDOC theme song again XD With his super low energy voice XD

- Yibo was tipping the bench which was why Yixing and Henry were like, rocking back and forth at the same pace lol.

- Admittedly George vs. C-Lil was kind of rough. George tried to include Chinese elements in his performance, but he was injured, so he couldn’t really showcase them, and the latter part of his performance became just a typical contemporary dance. C-Lil’s performance was alright, but I think the judges were expecting something more impressive. While break dancing is very impressive to watch, I am starting to see the limitations of it, because if a dancer is not impressive, they are just kind of mediocre. George and C-Lil weren’t able to bring anything superbly impressive, which I think it was difficult for them to vote. Yibo abstained, and C-Lil got two votes, so C-Lil advanced.

- Zyko was incredible as always. It fascinates me how he’s mostly performed with these ballad type songs that don’t really have a beat. Also his flexibility is insane. I’m glad he got through with four votes because we need to see him more.

- I really liked Chika’s performance! I feel like women’s dancing is sometimes a bit limited in the mainstream because people just expect them to look sexy. It isn’t as much the case on this show because all of the ladies on this show are dancers and not idols or pop stars. But anyway, I just love seeing women dance without their bodies being sexualized. Chika’s dance showcased not only control over her body, but POWER. I loved her big movements. Compare the power that she shows vs. the power that say, Ibuki shows. Ibuki is a much smaller lady and it shows in her proportions, so how she expresses power looks different from how Chika expresses power, and Chika’s is the sort of power that I’ve really looked forward to seeing.

- Rochka fanboys over everybody, I love it. Keep spreading the love, dude.

- Ok, Xiaoji’s performance was pretty entertaining. I am not kidding when I say my jaw dropped, at the same time that all the captains went OH SNAP. But this guy definitely has charisma and stage presence. His confidence made up for his lack of ability to improvise XD I was CACKLING when this guy thought the song was done and Yibo was like “bro there’s more” and Xiaoji had to come up with something to end it off lol. I wouldn’t say his challenge was as good as Xiaohai’s, mostly because he hadn’t memorized the music like Xiaohai did. In terms of technical stuff, his performance did seem more impressive than Lai Wei’er’s, but he also did less “stuff” (like, there were a lot of pauses in his dance probably because he didn’t now the music). But Xiaoji’s was definitely more entertaining, though that may just be because of who he is and not his dancing. (By the way, Xiaoji’s real name is 林森. I thought the name 林木森 was just a joke because of how much wood was in it. I never guessed that someone would name their kid 林森 X’D Guess his 八字 indicated that he had a weakness in wood or something lol)

- Have some laughing captains, it’s good for the soul.

- Acky-san acknowledged that he’s probably not going to beat the younger dancers in terms of technique, so what he brought instead was style. The “robot” style of popping is pretty old, but no one else has done it in this competition probably because it’s so old school, and he definitely delivered in a way that only he could.

- Henry singing Frere Jacques with the French contingent X’D

- Thoughts on Han Yu vs. Boris. I can imagine what Han Yu was going for in his original performance, but I don’t think it worked. I don’t have the vocabulary to explain it, but basically the way his performance was choreographed just didn’t really impress. As Yibo mentioned, Boris was impressive in his dance to Han Yu’s music, but his dancing didn’t suit the song as much as Han Yu’s did. So the original dance + challenge was a matter of impressiveness vs. whether the dancing suited the music. Han Yu shone in the battle. I think he seemed a lot more impressive when back in a hip hop sort of groove, music that has a lot of major beats, compared to the piano music that was less grand an epic. As for Boris, I think that seeing a few of his performances in succession showed that his toolbox is a little limited in comparison to Han Yu. It hate to see Boris go because I loved his battle against Zyko but alas. I also wanted him to stay because he’s one of the few non-Chinese contestants who speak Mandarin relatively well. He had no issues speaking in Mandarin with most of the Chinese people on set. The ending was hilarious, when he was asked whether he had any last words, and Boris was like “well, I’m literally going to see these guys in two seconds when I’m back in the audience, I’m not dying” lmao.

- I don’t know how I feel about how the show has decided to deal with the last 29 contestants, of which three would be chosen to join the 49 dancers advancing. They’re competing fairly with the other contestants that haven’t performed yet, but they’re at a disadvantage compared to the previous contestants that were judged individually. For example, what if the fourth best dancer was better than a dancer that had already entered the 49? It would only be fair if the judges were allowed to take out people from the 46 contestants that had passed. It would’ve been a bigger problem if there were still a lot of big names to go though. Most of the best dancers have already secured a spot for themselves, so I think that’s why I’m not like, the most perturbed.

- I was low key waiting for Xiao Jie’s performance because his audition performance during episode 1 was so amusing. I thought his individual performance was fun! He managed to add some creativity and story telling (Chinese dude getting drunk) but also showcase some of his specialty skills (locking).

- I forgot to mention this before, but it amuses me that so the editing team will so diligently put in a “don’t try this at home” warning message whenever a dancer does a dangerous move haha.

- So the captains are doing a dance battle for the reborn event, but I’m not really sure how this is all gonna work. I’m digging Yixing’s look for the battle btw.

- Anyway, pre-battle hugs for all.

- KRUMPMASTER. Also I think he did some of the routine that he did back in Season 3.

- Not gonna lie, I wasn’t super impressed with Han Geng’s first dance but his second dance was pretty hype.

- Lol Yibo feels most comfortable challenging Yixing during his battles. He did move where he dropped onto his back right after Yixing did it (i.e. being like you can do it but I can do it better). Based on what I saw of season 3, I think Yibo would call out Yixing in his performances then too.

- Yixing was definitely heavy on the krump side, though I actually thought his first performance was really interesting because there was barely any krump in that one. He mostly stuck to other elements. As we got through the other rounds, he became more krump heavy, and I think he lost a bit in terms of variety there.

- The thing about Han Geng is that he’s no longer as athletic, so he relies more on power and control, but he needs to make sure he does the right moves that showcase that.

- I think Yibo impressed me the most. He had a lot of variety in his arsenal and he was very entertaining. He is also quite athletic, so as long as he can imagine it, I think he can do it haha.

- As others mentioned, Henry was extremely creative. He used a lot of dance moves to show a certain action, like tugging a rope or playing pool and such.

- Anyway, big hugs.

- Baby needs a nap.

- Yibo won the most points in the four rounds of the battle. This hug with Han Geng is uwu. Anyway, Tony Gogo mentioned that Yibo interpreted the music very well.

- Of course, Tony Gogo as well as the Gogo brothers praised Yixing for his krumping energy

- Philip said that Han Geng had a really good ear, and that was how he was able to take advantage of the best moments to unleash certain dances.

- The five contestants that were saved were A-wei, Boris, George, JC Jun, and Kelo & Uwa. I definitely think the editors purposely showed us more clips of them so that we��d grow attached lol. The only one of these five that I don’t quite remember is A-wei though. Anyway, very pleased that Boris is back haha.

- Pouty boi

- Yibo, Henry, Han Geng, and Ibuki getting really into 煞科 lol.

- I think next episode is going to have some team performances, which I think will be fun. Some of these teams are STACKED.

- Previews for Hot pot!

- They were talking about songs they listened to in their childhood. Han Geng started singing a song about an Office Black Cat? XD I’m guessing it’s a cartoon haha. Yibo listened to Leehom Wang and Jay Chou. Henry mentioned that he looked up to Leehom because he was also an overseas Chinese, plus he played a lot of instruments (just like Henry). As expected, Yixing looked up to Jay Chou (after all, Jay Chou was one of the earliest artists to popularize using Chinese elements in pop songs). Yixing said he also liked Leehom Wang, JJ Lin, and Khalil Fong (I legit have not heard the name 方大同 in a long time so that took me by surprise lol).

- Yibo mentioned Li Ronghao and Yixing was like OH WAIT YEAH HIM TOO. We know from Idol Producer that Yixing and Li Ronghao are bros haha. The captain says “不榮藝 組合” which pronounced the same as “不容易 組合” which is something like “unlikely duo,” except the the 榮 is from Li Ronghao’s name and the 藝 is from Zhang Yixing’s name lol.

- The robot spilled all the tea! Bad bot!

- I think they later played a listening game that Henry kept losing? lol

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Recruits.”

Wanted to do a little peace about what it would be like to join the crew of the harbinger. I hope you guys all enjoy :) 

“Alright maggots! Hurry up, hurry up, stop screwing off  and get our asses over here. This is the Space Core not a damned dog show. You there, yes you right there, stop staring gaped mouth at me like a beached fish, and get over here.” 

The young recruits hurried across the tarmac at Fort Landing.The massive interspace launch field was a good five mile square of landing pads and supply chains surrounding massive interstellar battleships resupplying and rotating troops on and off. Boots thudded against concrete as troops of marines and army grunts walked past in their differing shades of camouflage.

The young group of soldiers hurried up to the officer nervously glancing around at the ships most of them had never been aboard a ship before, and some of them had never even been out of the region much less into space.

A couple of nervous recruits stepped to the front of the line two in flight suits and another group of young soldiers being transferred in to augment one of the fleet. They had been told they would be placed on one of the outgoing intergalactic units, but none of them had any idea WHICH one they wanted. Of course they had read through the suggestions given to them by other crew members aboard the different ships, and byar the Harbinger was the most recommended, but it was also the most competitive, sought after, and most people who joined didn’t decide to leave any time soon, and so there weren’t often many openings.

Now none of them were exactly sure why the Harbinger was so great, aside from being at the forefront of intergalactic travel, and run by Commander Vir of the UNSC who was a little more than legend and just slightly less than myth. 

Otherwise it was also considered to be one of the most dangerous positions considering what they were doing out there. The crew was supposed to be interspecies with Delta units (also known as drev) on board.

There were rumors going around that the commander had managed to win himself the position of clan leader in a Drev contest of armed combat. Some said that he had defeated five armed Drev soldiers with his bare hands, though that thought was little more than conjecture and made anyone with a reasonable understanding of Drev just a bit skeptical.

Of course a few of them had been lucky enough to see an alien, though there were also some of them who hadn’t”

“Recruits Kimber, Alvarez, Han and McCaster!” The group of four recruits hurried forward, two young pilots one army engineer and one marine.

The officer eyed them up and down and shook his head, “Where the hell are they finding you guys these days scraping you off the back of a wet rock.” He flipped through the hologram on the flat of his hand, “Ah, here we go-” THey watched as his eyes widened a bit, and he stopped insulting them for long enough to look interested. He glanced up from his clipboard, “Well look at the four of you being all special. You’ve been requisitioned for the harbinger gonna go into deep space.” They glanced at each other in surprise, shock and excitement, “Hear they have some pretty freaky ass aliens on that ship, one bastard who can float and read minds or some shit, anyway get on the lot of you. They docked at landing pad A1 because they get special treatment, now GET GOING!”

With a muttering of surprise, they hurried off heading down towards the troop transports.

One of the young pilots leaned forward as they drove down the tarmac wind whipping past them as the sound of engines shook the ground below.

“Do you guys believe everything they say?”

The engineer turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow, “Everything about what?”

“Everything about the Commander? Everything about the Harbinger.”

“You’re gonna have to be more specific, there is a ton of shit they say.”

The young pilot rolled his eyes, “Take your pick. That he ran a marathon on an A-1 death planet, that he's a telepath that can speak to aliens, that their doctor is an alien, that half the ship is drev, that he's mostly a cyborg, that they have alien pets, that he stopped an intergalactic war.”

Someone waved him off, “Obviously false.”

Another one of the recruits leaned in closer, “I heard the guy’s a extrial.”

“The fuck is an extrial.”

“You know one of those people who screws aliens.” 

“ fucking disgusting.”

“Dude, you serious?  leave them alone there is nothing wrong with that?”

“What ISN’T wrong with that?”

“Both parties agree besides I bet you screw your cousin so-”

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP.” They did as the marine turned around the glower at them, “Doesn't matter what they are or are not. We have to make a good impression. So shut up we’re almost there.” 

The troop transport came to a stop, and the four of them stepped out onto the tarmac looking up at the ship. It was big, blocky and dark looked like a much older model than some of the others sitting on the launch field, but what it lacked in beauty, it held in reputation.

At the moment it was busy being stocked by the people on the ground, though they did notice a group of people lounging around on some of the crates outside.

Staring at the ship, they didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, no aliens or anything… so far.

Awkwardly they walked towards the ship not sure where to go or what to do seeing as there were no officers to greet them. They were just heading past the crates and their lounging occupants when someone whistled.

“FRESH MEAT!” They were followed by heckling from the group sitting on the crates. They could have been marines or army grunts, but it was hard to tell. The group of them sat up both men and women.

One man in the middle slowly chewing n a piece of gum and wearing aviators making him look like he was trying to hard, “Hey, you four c’mere.”

With nowhere else to go, they approached slowly.

The group moved from lounging to sitting atop their crates.

“What are you recruits here for.”

They shuffled a little, “Two pilots a marine and an army engineer uh…. Sir?”

THe gum chewer grinned slowly nodding at one of the other guys, “Sir…. I like that makes me sound special.” He leaned forward, “Well they won't have anything for you to do until they are done loading the ship with cargo, so come on sit down and let's take a look at you.” 

All together, they were rather nervous, but they still came up and sat on the crates with who they learned to be were a group of marines.

A younger, tan young man leaned over and held out a hand, “Ramirez.” They shook the man’s hand nervously glancing towards the gum chewer behind his dark sunglasses who was grinning knowingly at them.“So two pilots, an engineer and a marine.” He glanced up at the sky, “Well go on let’s hear a little about you.”

Most of them didn’t really intend to say anything, but somehow Sunglasses managed to draw it out of them, had them talking until he had practically unraveled their life stories. It was almost disconcerting how the man could do that, and the  group of them were rather nonplussed by the time the conversation began to die away not entirely sure how they had gotten here.

“So, is there anything you want to know about the ship, the people, the perks etc etc.”

“Is it true that you have an entire Drev clan on the ship?”

Sunglasses grinned, “A good half of one at least maybe a dozen or so. An entire clan can be up to five hundred in one population, as many people as we have on the crew. So really I should restate and say that we only have a teth of a clan.” 

The group glanced between each other.

“What other aliens do you have on the ship?”

Sunglasses leaned back against the crate hands behind his head, “Oh well we have a few. There is Convict of course, he’s a starborn, watch out for that asshole, he can read minds. Don’t plan on having any sort of privacy. Than we have Krill, he's our surgeon, ask him and he will tell you he's the best in the galaxy maybe the universe. Then after that we have the spiderlings.”

“The what?”

“Well technically their presence is classified, but you will find out. Type of alien can incorporate the DNA of other animals into their own offspring, some asshole got himself stuck with an alien egg sack and now we have alien hybrids on the ship.”

“No shit.:”

“Yeah shit, not kidding with you. Watch out for the one named Glados, she's a real jerk sometimes, to everyone accept the Commander of course.”

“Tell us about him.”

There was a shifting among the marines as they looked between each other. Sunglasses glanced back at them grinning before, “That asshole, yeah don’t get your hopes up, he’s a tool at best and an idiot at worse. I mean the guy wears an eyepatch, like he thinks he's some sort of space pirate.”

The marines slowly began to grin, “yeah he has some idiotic idea that the crew are his friends or some bullshit. We let him think that because it makes him easier to deal with.”

“Uglier than sin too.”

The group looked around at each other in confusion and concern not exactly sure why the crew was acting the way they were, “Are you guys serious, or just screwing with us.”

Sunglasses didn’t crack a smile, “Very serious.

Still skeptical, they looked around at each other, “I thought I heard he was a good pilot.”

Sunglasses waved a hand, ‘Never said he wasn’t a good pilot, I said he was a tool who doesn't know how to take anything seriously/”

Another marine shrugged, “Yeah, I mean they promoted him super early on in his career, guy isn't even past his dumbass twenties faze yet.”

“You make that sound like he will ever get past his dumbass twenties phase. I honestly think this is his last evolution.” More shifting form the nervous new cremembers but sunglasses stood, “Might as well show you newbies around the ship, let you get to know things before we take off.” He pointed to the marines, don’t do any dumbass shit while I am gone.” 

Moe dumb jokes followed as he left, and the young group hurried to catch up, “So uh…. You a marine then?” The young marine asked glancing downwards at his clothes that did nothing to hit at what his job aboard the ship was, “Not exactly.”

The man answered.

“Than what do you do?”

“I’m their CO.”

“So you are a marine?”

“I didn’t say that.” They followed him up the long ramp and into the belly of the ship where cargo crates were being stacked. Men and women in various stages of work hurried past them greeting sunglasses with a nod and a salute.

“So you’re pretty high up?” One of the pilot’s asked

Sunglasses shrugged, “You could say that.”

“So you spend a lot of time with the commander than?”

The man sighed, “Unfortunately yes…. Too much time.”

They made their way around a corner and nearly ran face first into a massive shape. The young recruits yelped in surprise, one of them making an extremely girlish squeal as they realized what they had run into. The form was absolutely massive, nine feet tall or more with six limbs and a head that was vaguely reminiscent of a bird. It thrust its head down at them with a critical eye and the hard light on the ship rolled over its bloody red carapace.

“Cannon.”

The massive Drev inclined it’s head, “ Lod dazha tadazh? Zhe dazha nehjakazi.” 

They blinked in confusion for a long moment all feeling the strange sensation as the translation software booted up, and a moment later, a very human voice. “Who are these, I don’t recognize them”. The voice was pleasant enough, a deep rumble.

“Who the hell names their kid Cannon?” One of the pilots said  realizing to late that he had probably just insulted a massive ass alien that looked like it could kick his ass.

Sunglasses turned to look at him, “It’s actually a word in his language, should be pronounced Kanan. It means `noble.” He got a pat on the shoulder, “Try not to be a dickhead alright. Most of the Drev have names like that, usually after an attribute or a force of nature.” 

“What’s your name.” The Drev asked, the translation so smooth it was almost seamless integration over his real voice.

The young man stammered, “R-richard.”

The alien looked at him for a long contemplative moment, “Isn’t the nickname that goes along with richard….. Dick?”

That made the other four laugh as the large alien trundled past to show, to their surprise, he was wearing a bionic brace around one of his legs.

“Damn Cannon, they should have called you savage instead, DAMN!” He turned back, “Anyway, keeping the tour moving, try not to insult anyone else alright. Cannon is relatively good humored, but I can’t guarantee the other Drev won’t challenge you to a duel for their honor.”

There was a soft murmuring among the men, but they followed awkwardly behind as the CO led them through the ship showing them to the rec room, the mess hall, engineering and so on. They began to see ore evidence of alien activity, mostly those huge Drev things who were, surprisingly colorful, as compared to the pictures the media tended to release them. They greeted the CO with traditional muttering in their own language which he returned in kind. The translation generally just ut it as good morning though there were multiple versions.

They were walking down one long corridor when one of the recruits yelped and cursed looking as if he was about to piss himself. The others followed his gaze upwards where a face leered down at them from the piping and ductwork.

The man stopped a few feet ahead not bothering to look up, “Stop being an asshole convict, come and show yourself.” The strange alien creature did as told floating down like some ethereal sort of space angel, all white and surrounded in billowing ribbons. He wore an anti-gravity belt and a strange set of gloves.

The CO turned, “Well everyone, this is Conn, he is our ship’s resident telepath. Yes He can read minds, no I can’t make him stop, but yes he will generally keep all your deep dark secrets for his entertainment. No, you won’t be able to tell when he’s invading your minds, only the Commander can talk to him that way .”

The alien waved at them with a malicious grin on his strangely humanoid lips.

“But that's ok because killing him is easy. If he ever gives you trouble just threaten to take off that gravity belt of his. He was born in zero Gs so it will snap his spine like an uncooked spaghetti noodle.”

“Convict’ raised a hand and made a move to flip the CO off, an effect somewhat damaged by the fact that he only had four fingers.

Nervously, they walked past, and the alien grinned malevolently at them. Unfortunately with the way the human mind worked all of their deepest darkest secrets seemed to be at the forefront from their heads as they did so.

THey took a walk up another few decks, and into what appeared to be the med bay, which hissed open as they stepped in. Inside they were surprised to find another strange alien creature directing the placement of some new medical equipment, “And ry not to drop it on yourselves, I have gone almost a month without any major accidents aboard this ship, and I intend to keep it going.”  The spiderly little creature turned in a broad circle its unblinking orange prismatic eyes falling on them.

“Dr. These are our new recruits, Kimber, Han McCaster and Alvarez. Just giving them the grand tour.”

They stared on in awe and wonder as the little alien moved closer.

“Are you really a doctor.”

The creature stared at them looking almost offended, “Are you really a pilot?”

He stood back in shock, he had not expected the aliens to be so aggressively sassy, or even know how to use sarcasm. A had fell on his shoulder, “Forgive McCaster, he seems to have a bit of a pension for running his mouth. Anyway, I’m just taking them the last few decks up to the bridge, is there anything you want to warn them about?”

The doctor looked at them with a critical eye before, “If you are going to stick anything up your ass, just make sure it has a base otherwise it’s going to get stuck, and I am going to have to either A get someone to stick their hand up there or B do surgery,”

The CO laughed, “Always good advice doctor.”

With faces scrunched with confusion, the group followed the CO back into the hallway and up the stairs the last few decks and onto the bridge . The bridge crew was already hard at work on systems checks barely noticing as the group of them entered.

Looking to the right they saw another one of the Drev sitting in a chair just to the side of the captain’s seat. 

“Oh, everyone meet, Sunny our Chief Weapons Specialist.” The bright blue Drev turned around in her seat looking them over with a critical gold eye. She was actually pretty short compared to the massive male they had met earlier. 

“So what does her name mean?”

The Co looked at the kid with a raised eyebrow, “It means involving or having to do with large amounts of light produced by a star onto the planet’s surface, sometimes known as the sun.”

The other three laughed at him and he wilted,” I thought, with the other…”

“With the other guy, his real name just so happens to sound like an english word, her name does not, so we call her Sunny. Sunny and Cannon are brother and sister from the same clan.”  The Blue Drev stood and walked over to look them over. Though she was short for a Drev she towered more than a foot over some of them.

“Scraping the bottom of the barrel with these four.” She said, her voice over the translation was obviously female but not entirely feminine if that made sense. Somehow it suited her.

There was a sharp squeal from somewhere and the group of them turned, shrieking again and backing away as a group of the most HORRIFIC creatures came scuttling across the floor. About as big as medium dogs, and with similar heads, they skittered across the floor on spider bodies. One of the recruits leaped back into a chair picking his feet up off the floor, the other three went into defensive posturing.

Most of the creatures ignored them entirely, one of them making a B-line for the CO Crawling up his back and locking it’s strange feet over his shoulders like the most grotesque backpack ever. One contented itself by lying on his feet, and the other woman began sniffing at them. After a moment a very miffed looking German Shepherd appeared following them and collapsed by the Captain’s chair with a grumble.

The one on the man’s shoulders glowered at them, it’s strange humanoid eyes bright green with anger and intensity. It opened its mouth wide and a strange robotic sound came forth, “Go…. away.” They stepped back even further in shock. The voice was strange, like that of a talking bird, not entirely human at all.

The man turned his head and frowned at the spidery creature reaching up to pat her hairless dog-like head with one hand, “Oh Stop that Glados.”

“No.”

He rolled his eyes, “Manners.”

“No.” 

“You know ever since you learned that word, it's been the bane of my existence.” 

“W-what the hell are those things.”

The Co looked up at them, “These guys are the spiderlings ⅔ s adaptid ⅓ human. This Is Glados,” He pointed down, “That is Hal and the one sniffing at you guys is Cortona. The commander named them, they are technically his after all.”

The recruits started on in awe and disgust, “You mean he like DID IT with an alien.”

The man grimaced, “More like he got roped into incubating an alien egg sack against his will. I hear the process was rather unpleasant.”’

They collectively made a face as the CO scratched the spiderling under the chin, “he says its not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. Besides, the adaptids were just doing what adaptids do, and that is borrow DNA from other creatures.”

“Where IS the Commander anyway.”

The Blue Drev looked over at them with some interest before growing bored and looking away 

The man shrugged, “Who the hell knows.”

And then an officer ran onto the deck, “Sir, Transmission from the GA.”

At that moment the CO stopped smiling, and pulled off his sunglasses. The group of them were stunned into silence as he pulled an eyepatch from his pocket and slipped it over his missing eye. The other one was a bright green, not dissimilar to that of the adaptid. With the sharp clatter of boots on metal he walked back to sit in the Captain’s chair dropping the adaptid  to the floor with a growl of protest.

He pressed something on the side of the chair, and a hologram leaped up in front of his face.

“Greetings commander.”

“Chairwoman.” 

The group looked at each other with miffed expressions.

“How the hell did we not see that coming.”

“Because you’re a dumbass.”

“Like you knew, asshole.”

The other one stopped them with a raised hand, “Is he wearing heelies?”

The group of them turned their heads to the side and confirmed that the man was, in fact, wearing a pair of heelies this entire time.

There was a soft snort from behind them, and they turned to see the Drev ‘Sunny’ sitting at her station.

“Welcome to the crew of the Harbinger.” 

[imaginetonyandbucky]

The Buy In

Chapter 7: Just One Night

by @dracusfyre

Bucky waited nervously for Tony to show up, forcing himself not to pace but unable to stop tapping his fingers against his knee as he sat on the couch and ignored the show he’d put on the television. In the past few hours he’d come to terms with the difficult realization that he was going to have to go to his handlers and recuse himself from this assignment. Having already made the decision to protect Tony from the raid, he couldn’t trust himself to not tamper with the investigation further, which would violate everything he believed in. Removing himself would set the investigation back for months, maybe even longer – which he couldn’t bring himself to feel bad about – but he couldn’t go through the motions for a mission he didn’t believe in. That was the whole reason he’d gotten out of the Army all those years ago. He knew he’d probably get busted down to traffic cop for his trouble, but it was the right thing to do.

All of which meant that Bucky had given himself permission to not be on duty during this dinner – he wasn’t going to try to glean more information about Tony’s operations or ask any probing questions so he couldn't make the conflict of interest any worse. Instead, Bucky could be nervous about the real matter at hand, which was that he was about to go on a date with a guy that Bucky liked way more than he should.

Not that it could go anywhere, Bucky told himself. He was still a cop, and Tony was still a crime lord, and he’d been lying to the man for months now. In any event, once he recused himself from the case, he would have to disappear from Stark’s life and reach completely; if he was being honest with himself, the smartest thing to do for his career would be to start looking for a new position outside of New York City right now, but he shied away from that thought for reasons he didn't want to think about too deeply.

But all of that was for future Bucky to worry about. For now, he was about to go out to dinner with a man who had been a runner up in People Magazine’s Sexiest Man of the Year contest multiple years in a row and who still made it onto the list of New York’s most eligible bachelors despite his “alleged” criminal ties. A man who liked chocolate chip cookies and fed bits of chicken to stray cats when he thought no one was looking.

Bucky blew out a breath and realized that he hadn’t brushed his teeth, so he got up and was headed for the bathroom when the buzz of his phone against the coffee table made him jump.

Here! The message came from an unknown number, but it had to be Tony. Bucky quickly swished some mouthwash and grabbed his wallet as he stepped into his shoes.

As soon as he got into the car he realized he had been so busy having a third-of-life crisis that he hadn’t even thought about where to go for dinner. “Hey,” he managed, feeling all of the excruciating awkwardness of a first date. Tony was dressed a lot like he had been earlier, with a suit coat over a plain shirt, but tonight it was black on black with a gleam of silver at Tony’s wrist. Bucky did his best not to stare but judging from the way the corner of Tony’s mouth was curling up, he probably failed.

“Hey, yourself, Blue Eyes,” Tony said. He gave Bucky an appreciative glance, lingering on his freshly shaven face, before he pulled away from the curb, which went a long way towards making Bucky feel less awkward. “You like Italian?”

“What’s not to like?” Bucky said philosophically.

“Good man,” Tony said. “My mother was Italian, so when I say this place has the best Italian food in the city, I know what I’m talking about." The drive went by quickly despite city traffic; Bucky asked about his mother’s family and in return got a ton of entertaining stories about Tony’s summers on his mother’s estate, including getting locked outside naked when a girl’s parents came home unexpectedly early. Soon enough they drove past a restaurant with people waiting outside, and Tony pulled around into the alley behind the restaurant that had at least four NO PARKING signs posted with a varying number of exclamation points and underlining. When Tony saw Bucky looking at one, he shrugged. “I don’t count,” he said, which Bucky could believe. They went in the back door of the restaurant and were immediately greeted by a smiling waiter, who escorted them to a private room where a table was set for two. The table was dwarfed by the space; this was clearly a room meant for a wedding or birthday party, but Tony must have reserved it just for them. The waiter took their drink orders (“Your usual, Mr. Stark?”) and as he left pulled a heavy curtain across the entrance to the room and the noise of the rest from the restaurant was muted. The lighting in the room was dim, the table was small, and the intimate feeling was exacerbated by the candle on the table.

Bucky started to say something about it, then realized he probably shouldn’t call attention to how romantic everything looked for the sake of his own sanity. He grabbed his menu and studied it, aware that Tony, having probably already memorized the menu, was studying him from across the table. “Are you going to judge me based on what I order?” he asked, meeting Tony’s eyes from over the top of the menu.

“Yes.”

“So it’s a test.” Bucky narrowed his eyes at Tony, as if trying to read his thoughts. After a moment, he folded his menu. “What do you recommend?”

Tony’s smile was blinding. “The eggplant rollatini with the tartufo for dessert.”

“Sounds delicious.” The waiter came back for their orders, bringing with him a bottle of wine that was so old its label was brittle and peeling away from the glass. He poured Tony a small amount, who tasted it and gave his approval, and then poured them both glasses. Bucky promised himself he would stop at the one glass – getting drunk tonight would be so stupid – but after he tasted the wine his conviction wavered. Whatever type of wine this was, even Bucky could taste that it was the Ferrari of booze. How often was he going to be wined and dined like this, after all? A bottle had what, like two glasses of wine apiece? He would be fine.

“So,” Tony said after the waiter left, crossing his arms and resting his elbows on the table. His eyes glinted with amusement. “Let’s talk about your five-year plan.”

Trying to smother a smile, Bucky crossed his arms as well. “Let’s talk about where you think your organization is going to be in five years, and I can tell you how I think I’ll fit into that plan.”

“Uh-huh,” Tony said skeptically. Then he sat up straight, cleared his throat and became what Bucky could only call Corporate Tony, face serious and tone strictly professional. “Well, I think this organization is best described as embarking on a period of rapid expansion while simultaneously consolidating the gains that we’ve made in the past few years. In many of our key industries we are working on horizontal and vertical integration in order to capitalize on economies of scale. Proceeds are invested back into the capital base and workforce, with the remainder being banked against future shortfalls. At the most recent shareholder meeting, members voted to waive the first quarter’s dividends in order to acquire assets for novel business ventures, putting us in a strong position for next year despite moderate economic headwinds.”

As Tony spoke, Bucky’s eyebrows climbed higher and higher. “Impressive,” he said. “You came up with that on the fly?”

“Well, I’ve been spinning bullshit to board members since I was old enough to vote, so I’ve had a lot of practice,” Tony said dryly, taking a sip of wine.

“Do you really have shareholders?”

“Yep. So many shareholders, for so many different businesses.”

“Is that-” Bucky was about to ask if the shareholder thing was related to the mysterious buy-in, but he reminded himself that he wasn’t working tonight. “Never mind. Well, the truth is, I don’t know where I’ll be in five years. The past few months have made me rethink a lot of things, and I’m trying to figure out my next step.”

“Oh?” Tony leaned forward again, gaze intent. “Want to talk about it?”

Bucky had self-preservation enough to know that talking about his crisis of conscience with the reason for that crisis was a bad idea. “Not just yet,” Bucky said. “I think…I think I need to figure out what I want, first.”

“Yeah, that’s usually a good first step.” Tony opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but he closed it and took a sip of wine. “What would you like to talk about instead?”

The conversation paused as the server brought out an appetizer (“Courtesy of the Chef, he’s trying a new recipe”), the service amazingly fast given the crowd that Bucky knew was on the other side of the curtain. Guess that was one of the perks of dining with the Tony Stark.

“Do you still have time to invent?” Bucky asked when they were alone again, scooping some of the appetizer onto his plate. Looked like calamari. “Like robots and stuff?”

Bucky could tell that he’d caught Tony by surprise with the question. “Someone’s been looking me up on the internet,” Tony accused with a smile, pointing his fork at Bucky.

If Bucky was a lesser man, he would have blushed – googling Tony Stark on his phone before going to sleep had become a guilty habit, from the early articles about him when his parents were alive to his college exploits to the frequent scandals of his twenties. Between all those, however, were periodic articles in scholarly journals attributed to “T.E. Stark” and more substantial think pieces in popular science magazines. “I like knowing who I’m working for,” Bucky said defensively, feeling the back of his neck get hot.

“Uh-huh. I do still tinker in my spare time, what I have of it,” Tony said. “Right now I’m working mostly in artificial intelligence. I have one, his name is JARVIS, that I’ve been tinkering with since college. I think machine learning algorithms are fascinating.”

“I read up about some AI initiatives when I was in the Army,” Bucky said. “For targeting and whatnot.” He had read even more about it once he became a cop, and he wasn’t at all enthused with the projects he’d heard about. “What do you do with it? Him,” he corrected.

“JARVIS helps me with work,” Tony said vaguely, fidgeting with his silverware before spearing a piece of calamari. “I got into AI when Stark Industries got awarded a cybersecurity contract. I kind of ran with it after we fulfilled the contract and JARVIS was the result."

Bucky almost dropped his fork when he got hit with a startling suspicion. Helps me with work. Was Tony’s mysterious accountant, that no one had ever seen or spoken to, that was able to hide his money from every regulatory body in the US government, an AI? The implications were staggering, not just for the case but for the tech industry as a whole. Bucky covered for his stunned silence by eating, washing down the food he was barely tasting with expensive wine. The irony was not lost on him that he just had the biggest scoop of the operation so far, hours after he’d decided that he was quitting the case.

“So how about you? What do you do in your free time?” Tony asked, topping off their glasses.

Bucky stared at him across the table, brain blanking. It took so long for his brain to shift gears from thinking about JARVIS to trying to think of what he did in his spare time that Tony started to give him a funny look. “Uh, nothing special,” Bucky said after a minute. Googling his boss certainly wasn’t a hobby, after all. “After spending so much time in military cafeterias, I’ve been trying to get better at cooking. I work out, it’s a good release. Read. Visit museums when I can. One of my friends is trying to get me into indy games, but we can't play often.”

“That sounds nice. Gotta maintain that work-life balance, right?” Tony said. “Smart.” There was a soft chime and Tony pulled his phone out of his pocket. Bucky tensed; he’d forgotten about the raid until he saw Tony’s phone, having turned off his own ringer so that his notifications wouldn’t drive him crazy. He watched Tony’s face warily, wondering if the chime was related to the raid. Surely there would be a phone call, though? From his lawyer, or his security at the garage? But whatever the notification was, Tony just scanned it briefly and put his phone back in his pocket. “Sorry,” he apologized. “The boss is always on the job.”

“It’s fine,” Bucky said, smiling faintly, but the rhythm of the evening had been thrown off; thankfully their food came out and Tony got them back on track by asking about Bucky’s time in the Army, which got him on a roll of telling funny stories about the stupid things he’d seen as a sergeant. Turns out Rhodes, Tony’s right hand man, had been in the Air Force and Tony threatened to get him on the phone to defend himself against Bucky’s digs against the “chair force.” Before he knew it, dessert had come and gone, the bottle of wine was empty and their glasses had been replaced with tiny cups of espresso.  The sound on the other side of the curtain to the rest of the restaurant had died down considerably, and the check had been dropped off so subtly that Bucky hadn’t even noticed it until Tony picked it up and put a healthy stack of bills in it.

“Want to go for a walk?” Bucky said impulsively, not quite ready for the date that shouldn’t be a date to end.

“Can’t,” Tony said regretfully. “No long walks for me anymore, not in the city at least.”

“Right.” Given the number of enemies Tony had, it was risky enough for him to be out without more protection than just Bucky without parading himself up and down sidewalks. “Guess its time to go home, then.”

“I could take you home, yes.” Tony said slowly, lining up the silverware in what Bucky realized was a show of nerves. After a moment he pushed them aside and met Bucky’s eyes across the table. “Or…”

Bucky’s heart leapt. “Or?”

“Or we could do something that we shouldn’t.”

Bucky’s breath caught in his lungs. There was a hopeful and hungry look in Tony’s eyes that made Bucky flush hot and then cold. It would be such a mad, bad idea to go to bed with Tony Stark; if he got caught, he’d go down in NYPD as the casebook example for how to fuck up an undercover assignment. On the other hand, tomorrow he would be requesting reassignment and would never see Tony again, so there would be just this one night. He could have that, right? Just one night for himself, this one selfish thing he could have before he left for good?

“Okay,” Bucky said. His heart was racing and he suspected if he didn’t have his hands wrapped around his empty espresso cup they would be shaking. “Tony, would you like to have another drink with me at my place?”

“I’d love to,” Tony said with a smile.

[super-famicom-star-inactive]

Friday Special #14

March 19th, 2021

Hello friendos, and welcome back to another Friday Special!

So with the recent announcement of Pokemon Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl for the Nintendo Switch as well as Pokemon Legends: Arceus, for this episode, we’ll be taking a look into the original titles of Pokemon Diamond, Pearl and Platinum for the DS and how they forever changed the Pokemon world.

The year is 2004.

The Pokemon movie Destiny Deoxys was just released in Japan and it’s the newest Pokemon movie to be released at that time. The Pokemon anime would  still be in Gen 3 (Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald) for a few more years. 

The film features a new Pokemon that was never seen before: Munchlax, who was the first revealed Pokemon for the next Generation, Gen 4 (Diamond, Pearl, Platinum, Heartgold, and Soulsilver).

Munchlax wasn’t the only Pokemon teased before Gen 4′s release, however.

That following year in 2005, Lucario and the Mystery of Mew was released and it prominently featured several new Pokemon to the gaming public such as Lucario, Weavile, Mime Jr., and Bonsly. This now was five new Pokemon revealed to the gaming public. 

Then came 2006, the crunch year.

Pokémon Ranger and the Temple of the Sea was released and it introduced more new Pokemon in the forms of Mantyke, Buizel, Chatot and the Legendary Manaphy. Also revealed that year were the first of Gen 4 Legendaries Dialga and Palkia for the new games’ box art. 

In the end, Pokemon Diamond and Pearl were officially released in Japan on September 28, 2006, in North America on April 22, 2007, in Australia on June 21, 2007 and in Europe on June 27, 2007. Diamond and Pearl would also be the very first Pokemon games to be released in South Korea on Valentine’s Day in 2008, setting the precedent for future Pokemon games to be released in the region. 

Diamond and Pearl were the first Pokemon games not only to begin a new Generation but also on a brand-new console, the Nintendo DS. In order to capitalize on the new system of choice and its capabilities, Diamond and Pearl were the very first Pokemon games to utilize 2.5D graphics (the effect can best be seen in various objects like buildings and the train in the Great Marsh in Pastoria City). Speaking of sprites, new and never-before-seen trainer sprites were added as well to ever-growing list of types of trainers. The list of Pokemon expanded as well, thanks to the addition of 107 new Pokemon exclusive to the Sinnoh region. 

As the introduction goes for both games, you are greeted by Professor Rowan and you have the choice of either going as Lucas or Dawn, though the player does have the option to create their name for their chosen character. Their rival, Barry, also can be named by the player like in previous versions. 

The game starts with your character watching a broadcast about Johto’s Lake of Rage and its elusive Red Gyarados. You then meet up at Barry’s house, who is also your best friend in addition to being your rival, and the pair go off to Lake Verity to search for Legendary Pokemon. There, you are greeted by Professor Rowan once more along with his assistant and they accidentally leave behind their briefcase and before the pair can retrieve it and return it properly, they are attacked by two random Starly and the player has to pick one out of three Pokemon to fight them with and succeed. Once the battle is concluded, the assistant comes back to retrieve the suitcase, aware of the Pokemon being used and leaves the pair with their new chosen companions. Back home, the player’s mother gives them a pair of Running Shoes to traverse faster across the land and instructs them to meet with the Pokemon Professor in Sandgem Town. Upon arriving, Prof. Rowan bestows upon you the Pokedex, sending you on a quest to retrieve data for the Pokedex of every Pokemon in Sinnoh. 

Thus, the Adventure begins.

In the games, you face Battles, attain Gym Badges and work your way to defeating the Elite Four as well as the Pokemon League Champion. Along the way, you have to defeat Team Galactic, an evil organization who want to erase the entire universe in order to create a new, more perfect universe, and they need the power of the Legendaries in order to accomplish this massive and frightening goal. By defeating them, your home region of Sinnoh, and the universe at large, will be safe. 

Some of the features to make a comeback in a newer fashion was the day/night system first introduced in Gen 2 (Gold, Silver, and Crystal), Pokemon Contests from Gen 3 (Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, Leaf-Green and Fire-Red) and even a new battle system which allowed for a more versatile set of moves for a Pokemon but ran into trouble with older fans as the attacks were now labeled as either physical or special instead of just by type alone. 

The pair of games were met with commercial and critical success upon release with particular praise being given to the soundtrack, story, the inclusion of Wi-Fi, the voice chat function. Unfortunately, it landed criticism with the graphics with IGN being quoted as saying “everything still has that Game Boy look to it” (Which in retrospect made the games more appealing as they still appeared timeless without looking too dated). Famitsu gave it a 35 out of 40. 

With this massive success, there was a growing need to continue the Generation.

In response, Game Freak created Pokemon Platinum, an enhanced version of the Diamond and Pearl. 

Pokemon Platinum was released in Japan and Taiwan on September 13, 2008, in North America on March 22, 2009, in Australia on May 14, 2009, and in South Korea on July 2, 2009. Like its predecessors, it also received high praise, and was both commercially and critically successful.

There were a few notable differences between the original Diamond and Pearl versions and Platinum:

On the TV in Twinleaf Town, instead of a special about the Red Gyarados, the special instead talks about Prof. Rowan’s arrival back to Sinnoh from Kanto. 

The outfits of the main characters change to be more suited to a colder environment.

Instead of recovering a suitcase in the forest and fighting Starly, you meet up with Prof. Rowan and receive your Pokemon at that time. 

The sprites of important Trainers (like Gym Leaders or the Pokemon League) have their own individual animations like the Pokemon do.

Instead of facing either Dialga/Palkia depending on the version, your Legendary Battle will be with Giratina instead and it will be down in the Distortion World (more on that in a moment).

Platinum also expanded on previously introduced features such as:

Allowing up to 20 people at one time in the Wi-Fi Plaza (it was only a few people before)

Allowing your starter Pokemon to be admitted into Amity Square in Hearthrome City (in Diamond and Pearl, only a select number of “cute” Pokemon were considered)

Players can now challenge other Trainers in certain Pokemon Centers (first game in the mainline series to do this)

Faster animations with HM Moves such as Surf and during Battles

to name a few.

In regards to new Pokemon, 59 Pokemon were added to the Sinnoh Pokedex, rounding the number of entries to 210, including Legendary Pokemon. Legendary Pokemon like Shaymin were also added and other Pokemon like Rotom were enhanced either with new abilities or new forms. 

So about that Distortion World bit from earlier...

For those unfamiliar, the Distortion World is only available in Platinum and it was how the player fought Giratina. The Distortion World level in particular was considered impressive at the time for the Pokemon community as it utilized 2.5D graphics that almost looked 3D.

How did they do this?

They allowed the character to move up walls in order to complete the current level as there were multiple levels. 

Here is a video of the entire Distortion World walkthrough (the video is a little gritty as it was published way back in January of 2009 and it’s the original Japanese version):

At this time, this was considered insane for Pokemon in 2008/9 and it was one of Platinum’s biggest selling points. Although it may look a little dated with today’s newer titles, this the was bridge that connected GBA-styled graphics to more modern 3D ones. 

So with that, Generation 4 was well underway and these games, as well as the ones that followed by the names of Heartgold and Soulsilver (a topic for another time), are still remembered fondly by fans to this day. 

Thoughts From The Head

When I first got into Pokemon, I got into Pearl, making me a Gen 4 kid. I have very fond memories playing this game with my friends back in elementary school as they either had Pearl like I did or Diamond. When Platinum dropped, it was the hottest game to get on DS and I remember everyone and their mother clamoring to get a copy of it. I never did because I was broke at the time, so I wound up having enough to get a copy of Soulsilver, which I just rediscovered the Pokewalker (remember those?). 

I remember the Distortion World bit like it was yesterday. A friend of mine had gotten far enough in the game to get to that point and I remember all of us crowding around behind him and glued to the screen as he traversed into this strange, new world. 

We were blown away to say the least. 

We also utilized the crap out of those Action Replay devices (which I used to max out both the Sinnoh and the International Pokedexes as well as the inventory), making the Champion Fight with Cynthia almost a breeze with the maxed out Rare Candies we had to boost the levels to Level 100 for the entire party. Now a couple friends of mine had managed to even hack the Platinum game to not get the special event Pokemon like Shaymin and Arceus without the special event in question, they were even able to clone Pokemon as well as steal other Trainers’ Pokemon outright with no issues (still not sure how they pulled those off). 

Thanks to the announcements of the Gen 4 remasters and a mutual of mine playing Pokemon Diamond for a YouTube stream via Desmune emulator, I rediscovered my Pearl game and now I’m currently playing my second run! As of this post, I am about to take on Fantine of Hearthrome City so wish me luck!

Here’s the photos of my copy of Pearl!

I was in the process of leveling up my Chatot so she ain’t looking too good right now.

So do y’all think about all of this? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Thank you for reading!

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 50.34 - Magdalene, Cam vs Strathclyde

Finally, we have reached the last match of the quarter-final stage. Which is not to say it isn’t excellent, and that I don’t love it, but it has to be said that it goes on for a long time. All good things must come to an end though, and with Magdalene vs Strathclyde tonight we will complete the marathon 10-week double elimination double qualification bracket that has seen some brilliant contests, including all four of Mags’ and Strathie’s previous appearances in this round.

Magdalene blasted away Birkbeck by a score of 240-140, and then were pipped to the post by Warwick in another high scoring bout. Strathclyde meanwhile have won and lost a pair of low-scoring, but enthralling matches. One might have Magdalene down as clear favourites because of this (and their average score is 45 points better than Strathie), but I wrote the Scots off last time and they pulled off an impressive win, so I’m not going to set my stall out quite so bullishly this time around. 

Starr-Marshall fails to repeat what had become one of my favourite twists to the contestant intro of all time (admittedly, not a difficult bar to beat when I generally consider the geographical flourishes - eg ‘I’m from Sunny Sydney, Australia’ - some of them give as a tad annoying), by not referring to himself as the Sassenach, perhaps considering it too playful for such a serious occasion. 

DEROGATORY•SCOTTISH

noun

an English person

Anyway, let’s not bother with the rules, here’s your first starter for ten...

Magdalene captain Lawson has been on excellent form since the restart, and continues this with the first starter of the night, a long-winded one to which JMW Turner is the answer. A hat-trick of bonuses on years with consecutive digits followed, as did another starter for Lawson, and a two more bonuses on weird fiction (though they miss out on China Mievelle, whose book The City and The City currently sits on my TBR pile). 

Payne negs the next starter, but Whittle, wearing yet another fantastic jumper, narrowly misses out, giving Henry IV Pt II rather than Pt I. Byrne then took the next two to give Magdalane a commanding lead. Strathclyde would need to get in amongst the points soon if they were to have a chance - they’ve not scored more than 135 points since the first round, and Magdalene already have 90. This soon becomes 100, but the Cambridge quartet struggle with a set on space mountains.

The next starter is missed by Byrne, and Welsh is finally able to get Strathclyde some points. He is nominated by his captain on all of the mathsy bonuses, and manages two of them, before snaffling another starter. Perhaps they’re not out of this after all...

Paxman pronounces ‘isenthalpically’ in such a bizarre manner that it appears to confuse both teams - beyond the level of confusion that the question itself would induce - and neither of them get it. Payne chimes in with a second neg, which Whittle misses, but he makes up for it with the next starter. Their bonuswork isn’t really up to scratch though, and they fail to close the gap any further.

The music starter is Mahler, and Welsh is the first to recognise this, but still they struggle on the five pointers, and Davies stops their steady streak with the fastest buzz next time out. Another dodgy delivery from Paxman has the contestants narrowing their eyes, but Welsh figures out what he means and grabs his fourth starter of the evening. After the next set, which they blank, they’ve only answered 5 of the 15 bonuses, but two clutch buzzes from Welsh drag them back into contention and they find themselves only five points adrift!

The buzzer race on the second picture round is won by Whittle, but he is wrong with Caravaggio, and Lawson is right with Velasquez. We’re back out at twenty-five points difference. This becomes twenty with a Lawson neg, and then ten as Whittle exacts his revenge from the last question. Holy questions this is a great game - we’re back at fives!

An incredibly impressive buzz from Byrne on a complicated maths question seizes back the initiative for Magdalene, who rattle off a full set of bonuses (far easier, it seems, than some of the ones that Strathclyde have been getting). Another buzz from Byrne probably seals the game for Cambridge, and the gong tolls soon after. Phew, what a game.

Final Score: Magdalene, Cam 185 - 125 Strathclyde.

A fascinating game that, which can be broken down into three very odd thirds in terms of scoring.

Magdalene 100 - 0 Strathclyde

Magdalene 15 - 110 Strathclyde

Magdalene 70 - 15 Strathclyde

I thought Strathclyde might just pull off another shock there, but some excellent play from Mags at the death sealed it for them.

I’ll see you next week for the first semi-final, featuring two of Imperial, Balliol, Magdalene and Warwick.

If you’ve enjoyed this and want more Uni Challenge content then you can check out my Patreon, where I’m doing retro reviews of the 2015/16 series

[unibrowzz]

Mod (finally) reviews all 67 winners of the Eurovision Song Contest Part II: The 1960s

Welcome back! To this...

Whatever you wanna call it, I can barely call half of these “reviews” but ANYWAYS.

The 60s are. Mid-table. Not a tremendously bad decade by all means, but they’re also the only decade to have three songs in my “would refuse to listen to” category, which is an achievement. 

I’m sure you can all guess at least two of those songs by now!

Without further ado, let’s move on to what I think of the winning entries from the 60s.

1960: Tom Pillibi

Country: France 

Artist: Jacqueline Boyer

Language: French

Thoughts: Whenever I was younger and enjoyed singing, I was frequently told that I had a "nasally" voice. I never knew what this meant, and I rarely heard my own voice to hear what it meant. Since people told me I had a nice voice, I continued to sing without fixing it. But now I'm older and know a tiny bit more about music, I can finally hear what they meant. Jaqueline here had a very nasally voice and a very high song to go with it. You can hear the notes being directed through her nose and sinuses rather than up from her diaphragm and mouth, resulting in a voice which sounds impressively high… but also very thin and flimsy. There's no resonance or depth to these notes, she sounds like a kid half her age trying to sing. Maybe that's what she was told to do, but given how this song is about a girl telling us about the shit her cheeky boyfriend tells her, I'd like to think not. Then again, this IS the 60s.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? United Kingdom- Bryan Johnson- “Looking High, high, high”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 54th

1961: Nous les Amoureux

Country: Luxembourg

Artist: Jean-Claude Pascale

Language: French

Thoughts: I know this song didn’t compete for France, but have you ever heard a more aggressively French song than this? This is one of the most sultry, seductive songs in this lineup; like it just feels like the song itself is trying to seduce me and is going to offer me a glass of fine red wine before leading me to a candlelit bedroom and a four-post bed with rose petals scattered across it or some shit. That or it's gonna blow a long stream of cigarette smoke right into my face. One or the other. Going back on track, I like this song. Granted I wouldn’t call it a favourite or anything, but it’s still a Hell of a lot more likeable than most of the other 60s winners, and Hell, you could even argue this one is a lot more admirable given how the lyrics of the song are intended for a male lover of the singer’s. Which, for the early 60s, makes this a bigger deal than it would be nowadays. The singing is buttery smooth, and the song itself has a bit of a skip to it. It’s a very appealing song, and one I appreciate just a little bit more than the other songs from the 60s.

Is this my personal winner for this year? 50/50

If no, what is? France- Jean-Paul Mauric- “Printemps, avril carillon”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 26th

1962: Un Premier Amour 

Country: France

Artist: Isabelle Aubret

Language: French (Translation: “A First Love”)

Thoughts: You know whenever you play a CD too much and it eventually becomes all scratched and worn down so whenever you play it it skips back to the same part over and over again before unsticking to play a bit more of the song, but keeps getting stuck over and over? Yeah, imagine a whole song like that. This song just drones on, with no charisma or vocal animation to break up the monotony. I don’t even think the rule “well it was the 60s” applies, since this isn’t really a song that needs flashy setpieces, costuming, dancing or anything; it just needs a charismatic singer. And, unfortunately, Aubret just isn’t one, in my opinion.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? United Kingdom- Ronnie Carroll- "Ring-a-Ding Girl"

Personal ranking (out of 67):  62nd

1963: Dansevise

Country: Denmark

Artist: Grete and Jørgen Ingmann

Language: Danish

Thoughts: Oh fucking finally, something unique for once. Which is very surprising because, from what I've seen and heard, the early contests weren't all that kind to songs which didn’t fit a certain criteria. If anything, most songs which came off as being unique with different sounds, instruments, and moods compared to the rest of their years ended up pulling up the rear in last place, more often than not with nil points. So it's nice to see a song which not only has unique elements to it (ie, a brooding sultry guitar accompaniment and a steady sweeping tempo), but is also in a stereotypically "ugly" language do well this early on.  Getting back on track, this is one of those songs I find tends to be a cult favourite, especially amongst vintage and retro fans. And why wouldn't it be? It's a breath of fresh air in an era where so many songs sounded exactly the same, just in a different language. This is one of the few fan favourite winners where I can see the appeal myself.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67): 27th

1964: Non ho l’Eta

Country: Italy

Artist: Gigliola Cinquetti

Italian: (Translation: “I’m not old enough”)

Thoughts: If that title isn’t off-putting enough, then I don’t know what is. You’re all probably well aware of this right now, but I don’t like this song. At all. Everything about it just makes me feel creeped out and kinda dirty every time I hear it, which is a shame because the melody on its own is very pretty. It’s the song equivalent of flicking through re-runs of Top of the Pops and landing on a segment where Jimmy Saville is hosting; it just sends a disgusted shiver down my spine and I have to turn it off as quickly as possible.  Which, given the lyrics of this song, is understandable. Think about it; you’ve got this visibly nervous, very young, still-legally-a-child-in-most-countries teenager, singing about how she “isn’t old enough” to be in a relationship with someone who seems to be older than she is. Maybe it’s just because I don’t speak any Italian, and the meaning is all semantic and context based, but this is my personal opinion at the end of the day, and, unfortunately, these lyrics just come off as really creepy to me. This song reminds me a lot of the song “Baby, it’s Cold Outside”, in that the lyrics used to be totally innocent and sweet, but to a modern listener come off as shockingly creepy and off-putting, and you’re not sure if it’s down to a change in slang and colloquialisms or if the past really was that messed up. Just like how in "Baby it's Cold Outside", a line asking "does this contain alcohol" now sounds like "have you spiked this with something", what was once “I’m too young and naïve to be in a serious committed relationship” now comes off as “I’m underaged, please leave me alone”. Doesn’t help that Cinquetti was underaged, hated the song, didn’t want to perform, and only showed up because she was forced to by a pushy manager. Which, for the 60s, was par for the course.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Germany- Nora Nova- "Man Gewöhnt sich zu Schnell an das Schöne"

Personal ranking (out of 67):  66th

1965: Poupée du Cire, Poupée du Son

Country: Luxembourg

Artist: France Gall

Language: French (Translation: “Wax doll, stuffed doll”)

Thoughts: And now we come to Non ho L’eta’s ugly little sister in that, just like with that song, there’s a weirdly sinister edge to this one that I just can’t shake off. My French isn’t fantastic, admittedly, but every line of this song seems like it has another, less innocent meaning. Like the whole song is one big double entendre. Which, given how this was written by Serge “I made a 16 year old sing about blowing dicks when she thought she was singing about lollipops” Gainsborg, wouldn’t surprise me. Dodgy lyrics aside, this song is just… terrible. Songs which repeat the same motif over and over are a dime a dozen in older Eurovision, though most of them at least spice it up with a key change, adding more instruments to the instrumental, or even just having a nice melody. This? Is just an uncharismatic, uninterested teenager barking the same few notes over and over again ad nauseum. I know it was the 60s and that the contest was way more restrictive in how songs could be performed, but there’s just… no enthusiasm or animation or anything to make this charming or remotely enjoyable. It’s just shouty, unpleasant, and lacking any semblance of charisma. And I don't care if it's "important", it fucking sucks and we deserved a better song as our “first uptempo winner” of the contest.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? The Netherlands- Conny Vandenbos- “‘t is Genoeg”

Personal ranking (out of 67):  67th

1966- Merci, Chérie

Country:  Austria

Artist: Udo Jurgens

Language: German (Translation: “Thank you, my dear”)

Thoughts: I’m so conflicted on this song. It’s very beautiful, emotional, dramatic... BUT. I just find it so forgettable, I’m sorry. I’m struggling to even talk about it right now. Do you know how long it took me to even finish this mini review? Too damn long. I forgot all about this song mid way through it. So at the recommendation of a friend I put this one on so I could review it whilst it plays and… it’s just a very sleepy song. Udo Jurgens is a good singer, I won’t deny that, but, God, he sounds like he’s nodding off as he sings. The first minute and a half of this song sounds like one big yawn. And that’s over half the song wasted just building to a climax, since I don’t think this song has a chorus, and for a song this short and slow I just don’t think it’s wise to put your climax right in the middle. I feel it would be better if it had two climactic parts or just put the climax right at the end of the song so the whole song is spent building that suspense. Shoving it smack in the middle of the song just makes it feel shorter. Also the fact it’s a piano song reminds me of Non ho l’eta and I don’t need to repeat myself to remind you that’s a bad thing, so, moving on.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Italy- Domenico Modugno- “Dio, come ti amo”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 45th

1967: Puppet on a String

Country: United Kingdom

Artist: Sandie Shaw

Language: English

Thoughts: You know, I was pretty shocked to find out this song is a Eurovision song. Partially because I didn’t realise just how old Eurovision actually is, and partially because as somebody who grew up in Britain in the 2000s, I was just bred to believe the UK is inherently shit, has never won ever, and is incapable of sending songs people actually cherish and remember. But that’s a rant for another day. Anyways, this is the song Poupée du Cire wishes it was. It’s charming, it’s bouncy, it skips along so merrily you forget how the lyrics have aged about as well as a pint of milk left out in the sun for too long.  Then again, I think the lyrics were outdated even back then. I suppose what sets this song aside from the other “60s entries with sexist lyrics sung by young women who didn’t want to be there” is that Shaw is a damn good performer, and hides her disdain expertly. If she wasn’t so vocal about how much she hates this song, you’d swear she loves it, her performance is that charming.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Eh

If no, what is? Portugal- Eduardo Nascimento- “O vento mudou”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 24th

1968: La la la

Country: Spain

Artist: Massiel

Language: Spanish

Thoughts: And the award for most creatively bankrupt name goes to…  Granted, 1968 was one of the dreariest years I’ve watched, so it’s pretty easy to see why a song like this would have done well. That said, this is a really bland song, and even in a year as dull as 1968, I still don’t think this should have won. It’s the kind of song which relies on repeating itself ad nauseum in order to get stuck in your head, and let’s be honest here, that makes it more annoying than anything else. There’s only so many rounds of “la la la” you can take before you feel like rupturing your own eardrums with a knitting needle after all. I don’t really have anything else to say about it, it’s just mildly annoying and not that good.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Norway- Odd Børre- “Stress”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 55th

1969- Four Winners, One Contest

France: Un jour, un enfant

Artist: Frida Boccara

Language: French

Thoughts: Well this is objectively the best of the four songs we have here, and it’s also my favourite winner from France, so at least it has that going for it. Though, let’s be real, I’m hardly a big fan of France’s winners, or French ballads in general. So this is… a big emotional ballad. What more is there to say? It’s big. It’s emotional. The lyrics are nonsense because God help us if we have songs with strong emotions this early on in the contest. Summary: Very nice, but lacking substance. Personal ranking (out of 67):  21st

Spain: Vivo Cantando

Artist: Salome

Language: Spanish

Thoughts: I’m not really what you’d call an advocate for bringing back a live orchestra, but, man, songs like this sure turn me into one. The live version of this song is in a whole other league compared to the studio version; like it is just pure, infectious, Spanish cheer. It’s an absolute blast to listen to, and I strongly recommend checking out the live version before going anywhere near the studio. Summary: Infections, but choose live over studio because it’s better okay. Personal ranking (out of 67):  20th

The Netherlands: Der Troubadour

Artist: Lenny Kuhr

Language: Dutch

Thoughts: I mean.... The guitar solo is impressive at least. I’m sorry, I don’t see the appeal in this one. And I feel so weirdly alone in that stance. So many people I know have this song in their top ten best winners list and I just don’t understand it. I just find it very dull and repetitive, and the singer’s voice is definitely an acquired taste. To me she just sounds like she’s forcing her voice lower, like a reverse falsetto or something. And that’s all I really have to say about this one. I just… don’t  like it that much, or at least not as much as everyone else I know seems to. Summary: I don’t “get” it. Personal ranking (out of 67): 53rd

United Kingdom: Boom-Bang-a-Bang

Artist: Lulu

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the forgotten UK winner. Everybody knows Lulu did this contest once, and everybody knows Boom-bang-a-bang was a British entry, but I swear nobody knows she actually won. Probably because she had the audacity to tie with other countries, the horror. And that’s the most interesting part of this song because it’s otherwise  just kind of alright. It’s very twee and sweet, and if I didn’t know that “bubblegum pop” was a genre reserved for one-hit-wonder nobodies and not decade-defining names then I’d say this is a perfect example of it. It’s just a decent-ish fluffy pop song with very saccharine fluffy lyrics. Standard British Eurovision pap, if you ask me. Summary: Cute, but lacking substance. Personal ranking (out of 67): 25th

So who really should have won in 1969? Either Spain or Monaco if you ask me. That kid had charm.

[thehypotensivegrad]

PP4 - A Story of Us (6/25)

Riff-Off Remix

Chapter Preview:

The other groups weren't easy competition either, but they had less of an impressive history than the other four. Final Frequency, a group of college kids in matching white and blue outfits, won the last three competitions. To the Clef was another all-male group. Stacie wasn't too scared of them. They could sing well, and they were for sure good enough to be in the competition, but the smug look on their faces made her feel like they should be easy chumps to knock out. Then there were Gregor Chants, a group whose members all wore some weird blood-red cloak, their hoods drawn up covering their faces. They stood still, reminding Stacie of mannequins, next to DSM. Stacie wasn't sure how to feel about them. The last two were interesting. Aural Addiction were the only all-female acapella group other than the Bellas. Each member oozed sex appeal, with each member having distinct ranges and vocal chaps to back them up. Stacie wondered if they could prove advantageous to eliminating the all-male groups. Last were the Overtones, a group composed of four middle-aged men and two middle-aged women, who won back-to-back competitions decades ago.

As for the audience, well, Stacie was quiet pleasantly surprised to see the place packed. There were die-hard supporters for each group in the crowd. Bumper had an obnoxiously big banner for Amy, so it was hard not to see him as much as Stacie wanted to ignore him. His presence at least made it easy to find where the Bellas' supporters were, with Benji and the rest of their family and friends with banners for the Bellas next to Bumper's. Stacie smiled when she spotted her parents with Bella right next to Benji. This was her chance to shine and make her daughter proud. The Bellas were going to go through, no matter what.

To no surprise of anyone at all, a good chunk of the audience were Beca's fans. There were even some celebrities in the crowd. A few of them were secret acapella nerds, others former members of acapella teams themselves, but most of them were artists who Beca had the pleasure of working with. The likes of Dua Lipa, Lizzo, Jordan Fisher, Justin Timberlake, Hayley Kiyoko, and Taylor Swift were all in the crowd. Hell, Stacie was sure she even caught a glimpse of Lionel Ritchie somewhere earlier.

The contestants couldn't exactly interact with each other once they got to the stage, and they were kept in separate dressing rooms earlier so that no one could play any dirty mind tricks. Stacie was thankful at the very least that the German she-wolf that led DSM couldn't get Beca to make a fool of herself earlier. That would be bad for group dynamics, especially since Chloe didn't look too pleased with how she was eyeing Beca at the moment. Beca, for her part, stuck with reviewing notes on her phone. Part of having a PR agent meant Beca had someone to help her prepare for interviews. In this case, Rhian, who the Bellas barely interacted with since they got to LA, helped Beca with a list of insults and prepared her for any and all interactions with the fearless leader of their archrival team.

But it's not only the DSM's fearless leader who was eyeing Beca up. Final Frequency members next to them kept trying to sneak a look at Beca who was busy engaged with Aubrey, Chloe, and Emily, drawing up "battle plans" for the riff-offs. Some of the other members of the different groups too, all fans of the famous singer-slash-producer. Stacie overheard one member of To the Clef make a comment about trying to ask Beca out on a date later on, after they make it through the next round. Tough luck for him. Stacie could tell Beca only had eyes for one person in room, and her name was Chloe Beale.

The stage lights soon focused on the different acapella teams on stage, while the rest of the lights at the center died down. The hosts for the night, fellow acapella singers from the Filharmonic, took the stage to greet the crowd. Along with Pentatonix, they weren't allowed to participate in the competition due to receiving funds, financing, and recording and management deals from some of the event sponsors. Lucky for the Bellas, Beca didn't have any conflicts of interest like the members of the other two groups. It wouldn't have been the same competing without her.

Jules, their vocal bass, was first to speak, reminding the audience of the purpose for the night's special events. He thanked the generous sponsors, and acknowledged the judges on the propped up stage not far away from them. Niko, the group's beatboxer, then stepped up to give a schpill on why each of the groups were selected. VJ, one of their tenors, took over to briefly recap the success stories of each of the contenders. Afterwards, Trace, another one of their tenors, reminded everyone that the proceeds from the tickets purchased for the event would all go to a handful of music charities – a mix of groups helping musicians in need, providing music education, health care, and other outreach.

Joe, the most recognizable of their Tenors, then took over, unveiling the wheel of musical categories, some of which reminded Stacie of some popular songs from different decades. He went over the rules, most of which the contestants already knew from the letter they received about a month ago. A category would be selected from the wheel, any team can start and kick things off. To cut someone off, one team just needed to step up and match the harmony of the song that the first team was singing. Each category pertained to lyrics of one of the popular songs coming from one artist's discography. The only songs they can sing in that round must be by that artist.

Simple enough.

But then Jules stepped up again, saying that they won't be saying who the artist was. The teams must know them already from the tiny bit of lyrics used as the category name. All the contestants were, after all, the cream of the crop. "Anyone who makes a mistake of singing a different artist's song is automatically out," Jules then said and the crowd gasped. "Fail to match harmonies, and your team is out. Fail to jump in and sing at any point in the round, and you're out as well. There will be a randomly generated timer per round, it will flash on the screen, and each team needs to sing at least once within that time limit. When time is up, the round is over and we move onto the next category. We are expecting nothing but flawless transitions and every bit of musical perfection."

Things only became more interesting from there. Niko stepped up once again. "The last five teams standing would automatically make it to the finals," he then said, "but life would be boring if five got eliminated from one round alone. So, we have this thing called perks. When we're down to five, the riff-off will continue. The last team standing will get a few special prizes, or perks, as we like to call them. If we get to a point where there are two teams still left standing, we enter a lightning round. Terms of which we will discuss when and if we get there."

"Last thing before we get started," VJ said to calm the audience members who were already getting hyped up. "Because we got a long email with bulleted lists of items for clarification," he went on to say before side-eying Aubrey. Stacie chuckled. Of course Aubrey was being clear on everything. She still hadn't gotten over the loss against the Trebles from a stupid contraction technicality when it came to matching words on a lyrics. "No worries on what word you cut in with, we're focused on melodies and harmonies. And yes, you can jump in with a tricked out mash-up of a song, but only if the song was already used earlier in the same round. Mash-ups must also strictly be by the same artist. If there's any doubt, if anyone makes a clumsy mistake, or if the harmonies aren't perfectly matched, we would be notified by our expert panel of judges. That's why they are here. To keep things fair."

"So if all our teams are ready," Trace then said, looking around at the different acapella teams. They all had their game faces on. Trace raised a hand. Silence. When he smirked, he turned to point at the wheel behind him. "Wheel of musical categories, take a spin!" he boomed.

_______________________________________________________________

More in the links below!

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29141841/chapters/71871765

ff.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13808923/6/A-Story-of-Us

[bewaretheidesofmarchyall]

Camping Trip Headcanons

Ever wondered what the sides would be like while camping?

One of the plot points on this was inspired by a post by @aidensm8

So. Camping trip (I’m just going to assume this is a human AU). Roceit and Logicality just kind of became a thing.

-For starters, they get extremely lost.

-They were planning on camping in an actual designated camping spot. However, it all went downhill when the map was lost.

-There had been bickering throughout the entire car ride as to who got to hold the map. Eventually, a rotating schedule was decided on.

-By the time they’d been walking in the wrong direction for three hours, everyone had a different opinion on who actually lost the map.

-Roman blamed Janus, Janus blamed Virgil, Virgil blamed Logan, Logan blamed Remus, and Remus blamed Patton (who had never once touched the map. Remus knew this, and was only accusing him for the sake of chaos).

-After being lost in the woods for a while, they decide to pitch the tent. There were quite a few attempts, but in the end the monstrosity they assembled looked vaguely like a tent.

-A few things about the cast of characters

-Roman: Still the dramatic dude we know and love. Everyone’s around sixteen or so in this AU, and he’s got all of the Getting Out Of This Small Town dreams. One day, he’ll be famous, just try to stop him.

Currently having a bit of a rivals-to-lovers thing with Janus.

-Janus: This dorky snek. Wants similar things to Roman, but with a vein of cynicism that is leading him far from theater and towards law.

He and Roman have been competing for parts in various school plays since freshmen year. 

-Logan: Logan knows so very much about space and so very little about dealing with pining after a friend. But he’s planned this camping trip to perfection and he’s going to have a “totally unplanned” chat with Patton under the stars.

-Patton: Patton is oblivious as to why Logan is so excited about camping and the planning process, since he normally hates the outdoors.

Anyway, he’s really excited to go on a trip with all of his friends and eat marshmallows! 

One thing to note about Patton is that he has a small mark on his forearm the approximate size of a bug bite. This will be important later.

-Remus: Remus has a plan to make this camping trip...memorable. By which he means ✨Disturbing for all parties✨! Yes, he’s got a prank planned, which is why his backpack contains a live screech owl.

-Virgil: Virgil has a reputation at being the best at telling horror stories. Some kids can whistle with a blade of grass, some kids can curl their tongues, but Virgil’s talent is scaring people out of their minds. And he’s proud of it!

-Okay, back to your regularly scheduled programming

-Even though they’re lost, everything’s fine! They were able to build a fire (Remus brought a blowtorch), and when sunset came everyone was set up.

-Patton has found a variety of cool rocks, which he shows off to everyone.

-Logan looks up exactly what kind of rocks they are in his guide.

He brought a guide for this.

-Roman has been singing a veritable jukebox of musical numbers while setting everything up.

-Janus is trying to outsing him. 

-Virgil is trying get either Remus or Logan to bet with him as to when exactly they’ll become a couple.

-Remus tends to his screech owl.

-Soon, it’s dark, and marshmallows are consumed. Remus declines to stick his over the fire, instead lighting it with the blowtorch and placing the entire thing into his mouth, stick and all. 

-Then, it’s that much awaited time. Horror story time.

-Janus tells the first story. Very gothic horror Edgar Allen Poe stuff, better in terms of world building than actual scare factor.

-Roman goes next. His story isn’t that impressive (witchcraft and such), but his acting more than makes up for it.

-Remus tells a tale of the zombie apocalypse. There is cannibalism. However, he seems a little distracted, almost like he’s worried that a live animal in his bag will make a noise at the wrong time.

-Logan goes next. He’s not the best at horror stories, given his tendency to a) take things too literally and b) give all of his characters basic common sense.

So he tells some non-fiction instead.

He lists unsolved cases, tales of UFO’s, mysterious disappearances with no explanation. He declines to mention the likely scientific reasons for these events.

It works.

-And then, it’s Virgil’s turn. 

Damn.

He’s very good at it.

He somehow managed to make “tHeRe’S a MuRdErEr iN tHeSe WoOdS” actually nerve-wracking again.

Janus and Roman end up holding onto each other in fear by the end of the story. There’s indeed awkward springing apart and throat clearing, thank you for asking.

-They’re all ready to go back to the tent when Patton reminds them he hasn’t told a story yet.

-They sit down, somewhat relieved that they’ll have a less scary tale to finish the night off. After all, it’s Patton.

-Pat takes the flashlight, fiddles with the switch, and smiles innocently. He then proceeds to tell his friends exactly why he’s scared of spiders.

-When the flashlight dies at the end, there are screams, and not just from Roman. Everyone is terrified. Patton’s just eating the extra marshmallows like nothing is wrong as his friends have an existential crisis.

-Later that night...

-Virgil is questioning everything now that he is no longer the best at telling horror stories. So, when he sees Remus sneak off, he doesn’t stop him.

-Instead, he offers to join him in whatever spooky mischief he’s conducting. 

-Remus reveals Señor Scoodly-Scream, the screech owl. He plans to release the live bird into the tent at 3am in the morning and just kind of see what happens.

-Virgil agrees that this plan is a good one, but thinks that there a few things they can do to improve it.

-One of the factors of a good scare, he explains in an almost scientific voice, is that the participants are already on edge. If a live owl is released, sure, they’ll be shocked. But if they already have a feeling something is going on, and the imagination is allowed to linger, and THEN something is released?

Pandemonium.

-See! He still knows how to spook people!

-He suggests that they get long, spindly sticks that looks like brittle fingers to scrape against the walls of the tent. And the two of them head off together into the woods, hushing each other’s laughter and Señor Scoodly-Scream’s squawking. 

-As subtle as they tried to be, Logan had been keeping an ear open for when Remus would try to do something. So, after a few minutes, he follows them. 

-On his way out the door, Patton wakes up and joins him. The two of them try to follow Remus and Virgil.

-They go in the exact opposite direction as the devious pranksters, leaving Janus and Roman alone.

-Logan is jumpy for many reasons. He’s alone with his crush, it’s the middle of the night, he’s alone with his crush, many spooky stories were told, he’s alone with his crush-Our guy has a lot going on. Is it any wonder that he isn’t paying much attention to where exactly he and Patton are going?

-Roman is the fifth to wake up, only to realize that everyone except for Janus is just GONE.

-THEY’VE CLEARLY ALL BEEN MURDERED BY SPIDERS, OR THE MURDERER IN THE WOODS, OR ABDUCTED BY ALIENS

-Janus is the last person to wake up. It hard to not wake up when someone is screaming two feet from your ear.

-But upon finding that everyone else is gone, he’s almost tempted to join in the shrieks. One person leaving is one thing, but four people?? No, they’re clearly going to die in the middle of the woods.

-The two of them freak out. Roman suggests going to search for the others, and Janus point out that every horror movie suggests not! Doing! That!

-But Roman is adamant, and Janus isn’t going to be alone right now, so the pair of them sneak into the woods.

-Meanwhile, Remus and Virgil return with sticks. They scrape the walls of the tent. No reaction. They scrape louder. No reaction. They rattle the tent itself. Nope.

-They even release Scoodly-Scream into the tent! NOTHING.

-When they check, they realize that no one’s there (except the owl). PANIC ENSUES.

-Remus and Virgil come to the conclusions that everyone in the tent was eaten by spiders and they were lucky that they got out when they could. Remus decides that they should try to run back to town and out of the woods ASAP. 

-Which is what they try to do! However, they forgot one crucial detail: They’d been lost at the beginning of this camping trip.

-So, everyone’s kind of going in circles. Logan and Patton are having a stroll in the night air while everyone else runs like electrified hamsters.

-Roman and Janus have been holding onto each other for a solid fifteen minutes before even noticing. They both pretend that they didn’t notice, reasoning that it’s due to the cold, or the alien abductions.

-Suddenly, they hear a stick break. They freeze, seeing an outline of something of around human size in the distance. It moves again, and Roman and Janus rush at it, yelling and tackling the figure to the ground.

-It’s Remus. They don’t have time to apologize before Virgil comes out of nowhere and tries to fight them off with a stick.

-Once faces are spotted and no-one’s attacking anyone anymore, the four of them decide to head back to the tent.

-Then, they remember Logan and Patton.

-Logan and Patton are lost. You think everyone else in this fic is lost? These two are so lost you wouldn’t believe it.

-Eventually, their flashlight dies. The two of them are lost in the woods, in the middle of the night, with no flashlight.

-But without the flashlight, it’s easier to see the stars.

-Logan and Patton stop to rest under a tree. Logan points out the constellations. Patton points out that he has feelings for Logan. Logan.exe short circuits.

-The sweet moment is broken when they hear screaming. The two exchange a quick glance and run in the screaming’s direction.

-Meanwhile, Janus covers his ears as Virgil and Remus have a spontaneous screaming contest. The mood is light-hearted until they discover a dead flashlight on the ground under a tree.

-This freaks out the Everyone, and they scatter in fear accordingly.

-Roman trips over a rock and rolls down a hill as the others escape. The bulb of his flashlight breaks, and he is alone in the dark. He hates it, and panics, and is convinced that whatever evil force is in this woods is going to kill him.

-Janus notices that Roman isn’t with the group any more. All of his instincts tell him to run and save himself, and that’s what he does! For five seconds.

-Then, he runs back toward Roman (and potentially axe-murder). The two of them find each other at the bottom of the hill, and a thought enters both of their minds.

Oh.

OH.

Oh no.

-It’s pitch black now. Every flashlight has been taken out of commission. 

-All three groups run smack into each other at the top of the hill. After some more shrieking and stick-fighting, it’s established who everyone is. A collective sigh of relief is breathed that no one is dead.

-Slowly, carefully, they make their way back to the tent. It takes a while, but for once someone pays attention to where they’re going, and they get there eventually. 

-Everyone’s tired, and ready to catch what little sleep they can during this hell-night. Logan unzips the tent.

-And Señor Scoodly-Scream flies into his face.

So, there it is! Camping! Romance! An owl full of rage!

I hope you enjoyed this mini-fic :)

[atinytokki]

Dreamer

i. The Cliffs of Ulso 

(Warnings:  Domestic violence, including depictions of child abuse ahead. Please read with caution and if you are particularly sensitive to this issue, feel free to message me for spoilers. It does improve after the first few chapters but the content is disturbing)

Every day was accompanied by the constant sound of metal. The clang, clang, clang of Father pounding out another weapon in the blacksmith shop was the song of Jongho’s childhood.

It was a rhythm, so he added his own melody.

Jongho had a good ear, so even his distracted humming as he sat in the house listening to the hammer and the furnace was a pleasing tune, a building block for a symphony.

He was his only audience, and for the rest of his life it looked like it would stay that way.

Jongho didn’t remember his mother very much. He knew she and Father often yelled at each other and that she was often bruised and tired and that one day she just left.

And Father had been so angry that he had struck Jongho for the first time. That had been some time around the age of four or five and he had sat in his room stunned for the remainder of the day.

He was young but he knew it wasn’t normal, that the other children had mothers and fathers that lived together and that no one hit them when they hadn’t done anything wrong.

Jongho didn’t even think anyone hit them when they had done something wrong.

He worked out soon after that the reason Mother left was likely related to Father’s fits of rage. And sometimes he resented her for not bringing him with her.

It was unlikely he’d find someone else to rescue him, with their neighbours all being far away and the people in the town being equally poor and burdened.

Ulso was nothing more than a backwater village, the smallest settlement on the edge of the peninsula, tucked away into the cliffs so tightly that you could miss it if you were sailing past.

But Jongho had never been anywhere else, and he had never known any other Father.

Days like this were good. Father worked on his weapons, and the bottle was far away from him. It was when he drank from it that he became a different person, and Jongho either made himself scarce or suffered the consequences.

By the age of ten he knew to lock up the smithy if Father ever forgot. There were sharp, hot weapons in there and they were the last thing a drunk Father ought to get his hands on when he was raging.

Today the sun was out and he hadn’t touched a bottle yet, nor had he found anything to blame Jongho for. So he sat in the house and worked on his reading while Father clanged away in the smithy. Not being enrolled in any school or taught by any tutor, he struggled through the lessons Father bought for him on his own, although according to him Jongho was “doomed to manual labour and nothing else” just like he was.

He had composed a little song while he listened to him, and he wished he knew how to write it down, but hardly anyone in Ulso even listened to music, much less knew how to make it.

The worst town in Jaecho could never afford such luxuries.

Just like every night, that dreadful feeling grew in Jongho’s stomach when he heard the day’s work stop and knew he would have to face his father.

Generally, he could avoid him. They both rose early and went about their own business until supper time, and even though Father cooked his own food in the day, he expected Jongho to prepare the evening meal or there were consequences.

Old woman Soomi made the best dishes at her food stall in the market, so that was where Jongho went in the afternoon to watch her like a hawk and memorise everything she did.

Father had generously given him money at the beginning of the month to cover the cost of ingredients, like he always did, and when he was confident he knew what he needed, Jongho approached her shop and made his selections.

“Stealing my shrimp stew recipe now, are we?” The old woman chuckled with a wink and Jongho instantly went red.

“N-No, ma’am, I didn’t mean to—”

“Oh, hush child,” she waved it off and handed him his bags. “You’re a very mature young boy to take an interest in little old me and my family recipes. I’m sure your father is very proud.”

Jongho bit his lip and nodded. Father never told him things like that, but he was sure he was proud. Father simply wasn’t a sentimental person, that didn’t mean he didn’t love him.

On his way back down to the house, Jongho passed the rice paddies as usual. There was still enough rice in the bag at home for two servings of dinner, so he passed by without purchasing any. He could come to the market early tomorrow and get it, he told himself, eyeing the sun as it met the waves in a golden flash.

There on the beach a group of people were huddled together, and Jongho paused in his trek to watch them for a moment. What looked like lanes were marked into the sand, with a finish line at the end, far enough away that Jongho had to squint to see it.

They were athletes participating in a race, and Jongho couldn’t help but drop his bags and sit on the rocks to see them run.

The sound of the pistol firing made him jump, but the tension bled away as he focused on the runners, springing into action and sprinting across the sand. One man tripped, and his sudden stop messed up another contestant’s momentum, causing a minor crash at the back of the pack, but one man up ahead used the distraction to take the lead.

He passed the man in first place with a sudden burst of speed and took the win, and Jongho jumped to his feet and clapped, excited.

The athletes didn’t seem to hear him over the sound of their own cheering, congratulating each other and setting up for another race from the looks of it, and Jongho jolted out of his calm and picked up his bags again, rushing home.

It was sundown and he needed to make dinner quickly before Father got impatient.

Jongho left the window open while he went about the precarious task of cooking the shrimp, sweltering in the summer heat and craving a breeze from the ocean. Thankfully all the commotion didn’t bother Father, who was likely washing up in the outhouse or napping in his room.

Jongho hoped it was the latter. He always liked it when he could leave his father a plate and take his own outside, sitting under the single palm tree that managed to grow around the cliffs and listening to the sea birds squawk. Maybe he’d catch a glimpse of the next game if he climbed higher up and looked down the beach in the direction of the town.

Father appeared and took a seat at the table, drumming his fingers on it restlessly and shattering Jongho’s fantasy.

Well, he spent enough time alone anyway. He could survive another meal with his father.

They ate in silence, except for Jongho’s whisper that he had made a sauce for the meat as he slid it over to Father’s seat.

Trying a taste of it himself, Jongho struggled to swallow and keep it down. It was much too sweet, and Father was sure to be angry when he had some. Jongho broke into a sweat as he watched him reach for it, dipping the shrimp in and coating it before bringing it to his mouth. Just as he opened up to take a bite, a knock sounded from the door.

Jongho deflated in relief before realising Father was staring at him expectantly with a warning glint in his eye and tripping out of his seat and over to the door to answer it.

Three tall strangers in uniforms were on the wooden porch, glancing around with minimal interest at the surrounding cliffside and the smithy behind the house.

“Good evening young man,” the one in the front said. He was the tallest of them all and he had some shiny medals pinned on his sash that gave Jongho the impression he was important. “Is the man who owns this business home right now?”

“M-my father...” Jongho stuttered, throat growing dry as he considered his options. Either he angered these men by refusing them entry, or he angered Father by allowing strangers inside.

“Would you mind fetching him for us?” The man asked gently, flashing a smile and tilting his head. “Tell him a Lieutenant Park from the Royal Navy wants to speak with him.”

Jongho blinked and nodded. The Royal Navy was very important, and their word was law in many places around the country, so he wasn’t sure he had a choice when the lieutenant asked him to disturb Father.

“Who is it?” Father snapped when Jongho returned to the dining room.

“Men from the Navy,” he explained in a reedy voice before trying to clear his throat. “Lieutenant Park wants to speak with you.”

His father sighed and tossed his napkin onto the table before storming out into the hallway and plastering a smile on his face.

“How can I help you gentlemen?”

“Do you mind if we come in?” The lieutenant asked, already peeking past Father. Jongho felt a chill come over him as he noticed how untidy the house was. Dust and dirt were everywhere, unwashed clothing strewn here and there...

Why did the cleaning lady have to take a summer trip to the archipelago now of all times?

“Of course,” Father answered, sliding the door open further and stepping out of the way, though Jongho could see his eye twitching.

He was getting angry now, and he couldn’t punish Jongho for the horrible food or the disordered house in full view of three government officers.

“Something smells delicious!” One of the other Navy men exclaimed as he placed his shoes on the landing and moved into the dining room. “I hope we didn’t interrupt supper...”

“Not at all!” Father rushed to reassure him, pulling out a chair for the man and playing the gracious host. “We have plenty if you’d like some.”

All three officers expressed their interest and Jongho flushed red, taking shaky steps towards the kitchen where he hoped he could break down in peace.

“We don’t have enough,” he whispered to Father as he joined him in front of the fireplace. “I used all the rice...”

“Foolish boy!” Father hissed, slapping him across the face before scraping every last grain into an extra bowl and bringing it out to the guests.

Jongho’s eyes filled with tears and he began feeling nauseous as he returned to his own seat, observing the way the officers all frowned at the sparse amount of food and the way Father clenched his fist below the table. “I’m not hungry,” he spoke up, sliding his plate over to the men. “You can have mine.”

Father didn’t look at him but the strangers seemed pleased as they dug in. Jongho scooped up the sauce and took it into the kitchen before anyone could taste it and have a coughing fit, further embarrassing him and sealing his fate for a rough night.

“To what do we owe the pleasure?” He heard Father ask the guests while he began cleaning up, mostly wanting to stay out of sight.

“Our regiment has been routinely examining all forges in the area for potential naval use,” the lieutenant answered with his mouth full. “Am I correct that yours is the only smithy in this town?”

“Yes,” Father answered simply. “If you’d like weapons, we can discuss the prices in my workshop—”

“Not to get ahead of ourselves,” one of the other men interrupted, and the sound of chairs scraping back across the floor followed. “Of course we’ll need to inspect the craftsmanship. There are many potential smithies in the Tae district.”

When the sound of them leaving the room reached him, Jongho ran out in a flash to collect all the dishes and wash them quickly. If this visit ended as badly as it started, it would be better to have the work out of the way before the punishment began.

The men left rather suddenly ten minutes or so later, stuffing their feet into their boots and thanking Father for the meal, and Jongho reappeared to see them off.

“We’ll return if you’ve been selected,” one of the officers explained as he stepped onto the porch.

“And you, child!” The lieutenant bent down to look Jongho in the eye, addressing him directly again. “I have two myself, with a daughter your age. Listen to your father, and you’ll grow up fine like him!”

Jongho forced a nervous smile and bowed as the man shut the door behind him.

He could only squeeze his eyes shut and hope Father would just go to bed.

“Why was there no rice?” He snapped instead, grabbing Jongho by the shoulder and spinning him around.

“I’m sorry,” Jongho tried to say, but his voice left him halfway through the word and he bit his trembling lip to stop a sob from escaping. “I didn’t know we’d have company, so I thought I’d get more tomorrow—”

“Tomorrow?” Father scoffed, turning and taking a swig from his bottle. Jongho hadn’t noticed it in his hand until now. “If you weren’t in the market buying rice, would you care to explain what you were doing?”

Jongho opened his mouth but his throat went dry.

He had sat and watched the runners again. He had dreamed of running with them and never stopping.

If he ran until his feet gave out, how far from home would he be? Far enough that Father would never find him?

A blow to the head knocked him out of his daze and onto the floor.

“Answer me when I’m talking to you!” Father roared.

Jongho pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes to keep the tears at bay. Father always got angrier when he saw tears. Jongho didn’t know why but he guessed seeing him cry made Father feel guilty. And he was trying to blame everything on Jongho, so he was ruining things by accusing Father with his tears.

“I was trying to learn how to make supper,” he confessed. “The woman in the market was showing me...”

“What did you buy with my money?” Father yelled, spit flying into Jongho’s face as he shook his head vehemently. “You stole from me, didn’t you?”

“No!” Jongho cried. “I promise I spent it all on ingredients like you told me to, the prices just went up so I used it all.”

“And it was useless in the end!” Father scoffed, throwing his hands up in desperation before downing the rest of his bottle and pacing the room.

Jongho wasn’t getting away anytime soon.

“Don’t try to crawl off now!” His father yelled as he turned to face him again, kicking him down when he tried to get to his feet. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

Jongho didn’t answer. What could he say?

“You’re useless,” Father groaned before smashing the bottle on the floor, shocking Jongho as he jumped away from the flying glass shards. “Clean it up!”

With that, Father stormed over to his room and slammed the door.

It seemed Jongho had dodged a more painful bullet. As quietly as he could, he gathered the glass and deposited it outside, only allowing himself to breathe— to feel at all— when he was out of earshot.

Even in private he kept a straight face, but he couldn’t help but gaze longingly down the beach, past the cliffs.

Tomorrow Father would either forget the whole incident or apologise with something small like letting him sleep longer or making extra breakfast for him to eat too.

But now all Jongho wanted to do was run until he couldn’t even breathe, then maybe he’d collapse and wake up a new person with a new life.

Maybe then he could just forget.

___

A/N: Welcome to Jongho’s backstory, Dreamer! Please heed the warnings in the notes and tags as you go (they are there to help you) and buckle up for a wild ride and a lot more Treasure universe lore! Don’t forget to leave a comment and a reblog if you enjoyed <3

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[bowlegsandbiceps]

Suptober Day 6: Mask

LoveBlock

Mature / A/B/O Dynamics, Reality Show AU / Destiel / 2,735 words (Incomplete)

Read on AO3 

Suptober Masterlist (A03)

Week 1

Castiel Novak tugged at the starched collar of his shirt, shifting from foot to foot in too-tight shoes. It was customary that the Alpha wore a tuxedo to the initial meeting though he wished that he’d insisted on that changing as well. The network had wanted something big for the fifth season of LoveBlock, something different. When Castiel got the call that he was one of the finalists chosen to be that year’s Alpha, he’d been understandably confused given that he’d not entered.

Change #1: Alphas were nominated by family or friends. Thanks, Gabriel.

Castiel did everything he could to throw the interview. He was gruff, unsmiling, and showed up with bedhead wearing the hideous trench coat their grandmother gave him when he’d gone off to college. He went out of his way to be cantankerous and rude, refusing to answer some questions and providing terrible answers to others.

Change #2: The chosen Alpha was quiet, withdrawn, and definitely not interested in finding their true mate. One might even call him an asshole.

In the end, Castiel had agreed to participate for two reasons and two reasons only. Gabriel would be given a huge promotion based on the fact that he’d convinced someone with no desire to be on the show to be their grumpy, jerk of an Alpha for the season, thus finally getting him out of Castiel’s condo. And the other…

Change #3: Contestants could reject the Alpha meaning any contestant that dropped out before Hometown week would be competing on a new network show, EscapePlan, to win $50,000. If the Alpha made it to the finale with any contestants left, he and his chosen mate would both win $100,000

“Stop fidgeting.” Gabriel nudged Castiel in such a way that the point of his elbow rolled painfully over the bone in his bicep, a practiced move he’d perfected when they were children.

Castiel flinched away but stood straighter. “My feet hurt. Why does the Alpha have to be in formal dress? The other contestants have to show their personalities not just with their masks but their clothes too. Why-“

“Shhh, my boss is coming!” Gabriel muttered out of the side of his mouth before stepping forward and extending his hand. “Mr. Shurley! So glad you could make it!”

Chuck Shurley gave a small, friendly wave in lieu of shaking Gabriel’s hand, and Gabe dropped it cringing. “Sorry, no offense man I just don’t shake hands. Nothing personal, promise.”

“No no, sorry I uh, forgot.” Gabe scratched his ear before he turned abruptly to Castiel. “You remember my brother.”

“Yes, of course. I liked the promos you did. They were very controversial. Exactly what we were looking for.” Chuck gave Castiel a nod. Castiel pressed his lips together in a caricature of a smile, but his disdain was evident. Chuck just grinned. “Gonna be a good season.” He looked over his shoulder at the commotion as Fergus Crowley moved towards them.

“Gents,” he said by way of greeting. “Chuck,” he added with a smirk, and Chuck gave a rueful smile in return.

“Glad to have you back, Crowley.” Chuck’s tone implied he was not remotely glad to have Crowley back.

“Glad you agreed to my demands during contract negotiations.” Crowley beamed with a smarmy grin.

Castiel looked to Gabriel who’s lips were puckered, eyes rolling up to look at the palm trees hanging over where they stood at the edge of the beach house’s wide circular drive. That was the face Gabe made when he was trying not to laugh. Castiel began to open his mouth to ask when he received another sharp jab to his upper arm.

“Let’s get started shall we?” Gabe gestured towards the space to the left where Castiel assumed visitors would park but was now lit and prepped for Crowley’s opening remarks before the cattle call began.

How do we fall in love? Do we see someone across the room, strike up a conversation, and the rest is history? Do we catch a whiff of a tantalizing or homey scent and follow the instincts of our secondary gender all the way to mating? Or is it possible to fall in love without seeing someone’s face? Without catching their scent?

For the last four seasons, we’ve been asking this question and so followed four alphas on the journey to true love. We watched them try and see past the contestants’ masks, week after week. We saw scent bonds break emotional bonds once the blockers came off. And we cheered when our Alpha looked into the face of his or her potential One True Mate.

This year, we do it again with an entirely new set of rules and an Alpha as you’ve never seen one. Welcome to LoveBlock.

#

The first limousine slithered up the drive toward Castiel, and he stood stock-still, hands crossed in front of himself. Gabriel had said it made him look like security and not the show’s Alpha, so Castiel had decided that would be how he would stand for the rest of his life. He did his best to ignore the camera to his left and the six or so people behind it as well as the camera to the right and its gaggle of crew meant to capture the contestants as he rushed over to help the contestant climb out of the limo.

Castiel stayed put, the moment stretching, and finally, the door opened, and what looked like the head of a wolf peeked out. “Um.”

“Come on then,” Castiel unclasped his hands to motion them forward, and he could hear the person give a stuttered, o-o-oh…, before a motorcycle boot appeared out the door. A slender woman in a leather jacket and jeans with a frighteningly furry mask walked over to him.

Castiel squinted his eyes. “You’re a horror fan.”

He felt the woman’s surprise more than saw it because well, obviously, and her voice was breathless when she asked, “How did you know?”

Castiel fought the urge to roll his eyes, but his tone made his disdain clear. “Lucky guess.”

The woman hugged him anyway and went off to her first impression interview.

Hannah, Office Assistant, Beta

“Wow, they weren’t kidding when they said this Alpha was different! I mean still handsome,” Hannah paused, to tip her head from side to side, shifting the wolf-head mask in her lap, “which won’t matter in the end I know, I know. But if the guy is gonna be grumpy to start?” Hannah’s blue eyes widened emphatically as she pushed out her lower lip and her huff made her dark bangs flutter. “It’s nice that’s he’s something to look at, you know?”

And so it went for three more contestants. April, a plain brunette Beta who wore safety goggles and a medical mask, was deeply unimpressed that Castiel didn’t understand that she was a dental hygienist from her face coverings. Inias, a male Omega in a suit and the plain, white drama mask they used for group dates before The Scenting, told Castiel he’d have to work to get to know him. Castiel immediately decided he was going home that night. Then Kevin, an Omega college student wearing a giant paper mâché pie on his head, but instead of the typical latticed crust, it contained the numbers 3.14 because he liked math as well as desserts.

There was a bit of a delay after the fifth contestant exited the limo in an evening gown, fiery red hair pulled into an elegant up-do, wearing a printed paper mask with Crowley’s face on it.

“Mother!”

The woman huffed and halted barely two steps out of the limo. “Fergus, you’ve ruined the take! D’you want me to do it again?”

Castiel was intrigued by her Scottish burr as well as the fact that Gabriel had managed to get Fergus Crowley’s mother to compete on the show her son hosted and that was notorious for hookups with  at least one group nude exhibition a season. That had to be some kind of miracle from the TV gods. Gabe did say he felt like this season had been blessed.

Once the yelling stopped, and Rowena, mother of one, Beta sashayed off to do her interview, the limo returned with another contestant. Word must have gotten out that he wasn’t opening the door for anyone, so this time, there was no wait, the door swinging open, and a hand curled over the top of the car while a dusty boot hit the ground. A fit young man pulled himself out, wearing a ripped pair of jeans and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt with a green and black plaid flannel over it, a welding mask covering his face. Castiel nearly rolled his eyes again as the man strode forward, hand extended.

“Hey man, D-”

Castiel cut him off as he clasped his hand tight, feeling the roughness of his palm, callouses on the fingertips. “You’re an artist.”

The welding mask tipped to the side, the man’s body stiffening before his grip became crushing, a throaty chuckle echoing from behind the metal. “Not even close. Mechanic.” Castiel winced as his hand was pumped vigorously. “Dean Winchester. Nice to meet ya.”

Castiel looked off-camera to Gabe. “I thought you said you weren’t bringing in Alphas this year.” His attention returned to Dean as he laughed harder this time.

“Wrong again. Man, this is gonna be fun.” Castiel jumped as one large hand clapped hard against his sternum twice before Dean began to walk away.

Castiel turned to watch him go, taking in his bow-legged gait as he entered the house to go do his first impression interview.

Dean was directed to a stool in the entryway situated in front of a camera and surrounded by lights. He plopped down, heaving a sigh as he flipped up his welding mask before pulling it off his head. He tried his best to ignore the murmurs from the women behind the camera as he dropped it to the floor with one hand, patting his hair down with the other. When he looked up, he could see everyone behind the camera had red eyes, except for the redheaded woman with the clipboard who looked annoyed.

“Sorry about them,” she muttered, jutting a thumb over her shoulder, and the Alphas blinked themselves back to brown or blue, “but in their defense I’m a Beta and a lesbian and woof your face is still pretty impressive.”

Dean managed to fight a blush as he gave a good-natured laugh. “It’s fine I get that a lot.” Dean shifted on his stool, situating his face into a calm, attentive expression, and waited for the Beta producer to look her fill.

“If you could start by stating your name, occupation and secondary gender for the graphics team. This is what will show at the bottom of the screen during your interviews.”

Dean gave a short nod. “I’m Dean Winchesteeeer…” He reached up to scratch at his ear. “Uh, mechanic.” He flicked up a hand and took a deep breath, sighing out, “Omega,” before letting his hand fall to his knee with a thump. It wasn’t enough to mask the unmistakable interested growls of the Alphas on the crew. The producer actually looked over her shoulder and glared at them.

“Go outside. All of you. Yes all of you the camera is stationary and already rolling I can turn it off when we’re done. Thank you. Byyyyyyye.”

Dean chuckled as the alpha cameraman and the other two, whatever they did, sulked away to the snack table. Dean let his amusement sit on his face as he looked back at the producer, who gave him a strained smile. “Sorry, again.”

“Not a problem. I figured I’d be just another piece of meat here anyway.” Dean gave an unaffected wave, and the producer frowned, marked something on her clipboard.

“I’m Charlie Bradbury-“

“Executive producer.” Dean nodded and stretched out a hand. “Nice to put a face to the name in the credits.”

Charlie shook his hand and gave him a surprised smile. “You watch the show?”

“Yeah!” Dean’s face scrunched as if to say, of course, I do, and Charlie tried to force back a laugh but only succeeded in choking herself. She knew the resulting grin he gave her was going to turn Alphas’ eyes red on couches across the country when this aired.

“So did you nominate yourself?”

Dean snorted. “No, no. I was completely content with this being my Thursday night guilty pleasure,” the guy actually licked his lips after he said it, and Charlie made a note to check if he’d done any acting. “My little brother actually nominated me. Said I need to find a nice Alpha and settle down.”

“That’s sweet.” Charlie jotted down, interview brother. “How old is your brother?”

“22,” Dean gave a casual shrug of his shoulder at Charlie’s questioning blink. “Yeah I know he’s also 6’4 so he’s really not that little but old habits die hard ya know? He’s in his first year at law school. He actually started watching the show his freshman year of college. It was one of those excuses to get everyone on the floor in the rec room and make friends.” Dean turned his head, squinting at the camera. “There may also have been a girl involved.”

Charlie let herself laugh this time. “But you also watch the show you said.”

Dean gave a nod. “Yeah, I mean he was in college and I didn’t understand half the shit… er, sorry.” Dean winced, and Charlie waved a hand before giving a sharp clap of her hands that made Dean jump.

“It’s so audio can find the cut faster. Makes a big jagged line in the file,” Charlie explained, and Dean’s eyebrows rose, lips twisting in an impressed expression. “Can you begin again at ‘I didn’t understand?’”

Dean cleared his throat and shifted on his stool again. “Uh yeah, um. I didn’t understand have the things he was talking about. I mean like I said I’m just a mechanic with a GED and a give em hell attitude.” He winked at her, and she rolled her eyes but grinned nonetheless. She was definitely going to be rooting for this guy. “But he went on and on about the show because, like I said,” Dean widened his eyes and muttered conspiratorially through closed teeth, “there may have been a girl involved,” He shook his head and smile. “So I started watching just to have something to talk about with him.” Dean rubbed his palms up and down his thighs a few times. “Well and to help the poor kid talk to the girl. He’s smart and an Alpha but man is he bad with the ladies.” Dean gave a smirk that morphed into a grin before he looked at the floor.

“So are you looking for your One True Mate?” Charlie felt a warm flutter in her chest as Dean lifted his head, green eyes wide and full lips parted in genuine surprise before a blush began to creep up his neck.

“Ah… you know…” Dean grimaced and hissed, giving the camera a side-eye. “I’m not sure they exist.” He gave a shrug. “I mean, that Alpha out there?” Dean jutted a thumb over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows. “Not a bad looking dude. I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.” Dean smirked again and chuckled. “But did my insides go gooey at the first whiff of his scent?” Dean scrunched his nose and shook his head.

Charlie smiled. “What did he smell like to you?”

Dean rolled his eyes before closing them and doing a slow-motion fist pump as he mouthed yes. “The first smell montage. Seriously,” Dean gestured with both hands splaying his fingers and then wiggling them excitedly. “It’s my favorite.”

He cleared his throat as Charlie laughed again.

“Uh…hmmmm.” He pursed his lips, looking up and to the right, and Charlie was convicted this guy had at least modeled before because he found the light instantly. His eyes tightened just enough to slant his expression into a sultry stare but let the green of his eyes stay visible. “Rain.” He gave a satisfied nod and looked back at her. “Or, really, a thunderstorm. That thick smell before the thunder and lightening show starts.”

He nodded again, a wistful smile pulling at his lips. “Which seems pretty appropriate given the circumstances.”

[viren-reader-love]

What would you think about doing one where there is a Pentarchy-wide conference of dark mage guild chapters, and the reader is a fellow mage from another country. Viren and Reader don't meet often, but when they do, they predictably end up drinking, arguing vociferously over the details of their methods, and ultimately hooking up. This occasion is no exception.

There you go! I had a lot of fun writing this :D

Hope you like it.

(Ao3 link)

.............................................................................................................................

Devil or angel? I can't make up my mind

Which one you are, I'd like to wake up and find

Devil or angel, dear, whichever you areI miss you, I miss you, I miss you

Devil or angel, please say you'll be mine

Love me or leave me, I'll go out of my mind

Devil or angel, dear, whichever you are

I need you, I need you...

===

The salty air refreshed your lungs. In the distance, hues of green added color to the crystalline blue infinitude of the ocean.

"Land ahoy!" yelled the first mate, watching the horizon from atop of one of the ship's poles.

"Aye!" Replied the captain, turning the hem. You felt the ship move to the right as it approached the island ahead with a new speed. 

Clutching tight to your shoulder bag, carefully not to lose the precious relic that it contained, you tried to control the butterflies in your stomach. You knew Viren would be there and this simple fact made all those memories resurface. 

Every Mage Fair was the same. Excessive drinking, followed by vociferous arguments about your conflicting opinions and different methods to understand dark magic that, somehow, always end up with you and Viren waking up in the same bed.

Well, not somehow. You knew exactly why it happened. No matter how many lies you told yourself during the invariable hangovers that followed, the attraction you felt for Viren was too strong to be labeled as unintentional, or a simple drunk mistake. 

Despite everything, you were starting to get attached.  Why? Was the only question in your head. Why him? 

Romantics will say it is because opposites attract each other and write countless verses of the ardent passion they can ignite. But they forget about the ugly parts that come afterward. At least that was how it had been for you.

The fair would end, Viren would escort you to the pier and you would sail back to Evenere with only a simple goodbye. No last kiss, not even a hug. And the days that followed were even worse. The letters you would exchange were made by cold and impartial words concerning your duties as High Mages, nothing more. 

As the ship approached the bay, you took one deep breath mentally making a promise to yourself. 

This had to end. 

Today was the day things would change.

===

New faces from all corners of the five kingdoms passed by. The smell of spices and delicious food perfumed the gentle summer breeze and everything was a cacophony of colors, laughs, and songs. 

Elaborate stands dotted the hills as far as the eye could see, each signboard announcing something more interesting than the last. Fireball contest, Antiquery Boutiques, Mirrors of Illusions...

Your feet stopped in front of The Blushing Troll - Bar and Inn, where you and Viren would predictably end up after the Pentarchy High Mage reunion. Despite being only the beginning of the afternoon, the bar was crowded and a line was forming on the outside. 

The large door opened and you spotted Agata, the barkeeper, dragging chairs outside to accommodate her costumers. "Hey, y/n!" she waved.

You smiled walking to help her with the heavy chairs.  "Hi, Agata. Nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you too friend. So, rumor has it that Evenere will blow our minds this year," she winked gesturing to your bag. "I'll prepare a big celebration. Want me to save the romantic suite for you and your hot boyfriend. Or you'll stay at the usual room?"

Your cheeks turned scarlet, knowing fully well she was referring to Viren. "For the last time, he is not my boyfriend."

Agata cackled. "Alright cookie. And I ain't a barkeeper," she playfully punched your shoulder. "See you two tonight alright?"

It was no use insisting on this topic. Agata could be as stubborn as Viren sometimes, so instead, you chose to focus on your earlier promise and said goodbye, resuming your walk to the meeting point where the other High Mages were expecting you. 

===

Two guards stood like statues before the imposing construction that marked the entrance of the Pentarchy Meeting Point. 

"Hold. Present yourself," one of them ordered, gesturing for you to stop.

"Lady y/n. High Mage of Evenere," you said, giving the guard your invitation sealed with Evenre's royal symbol.

The guards then stepped aside, giving you free passage to the seemingly endless white steps that lead to the Meeting Point, located atop the tallest hill.

Almost out of breath, you finally arrived. Burgundy flags with the bright red symbol of Dark Magic hanged over the five chairs, binding the kingdoms, so vast and diverse, with one common interest. 

All the other four mages were already in their sits, except for Viren. "Lady y/n," he bowed. "So glad that you are finally here. We are all very anxious to see what big surprise you have for us," he said with his usual charming tone that made your knees go weak. 

"Well, then I won't keep you waiting any longer," you managed to reply with the formality this situation required, despite the memories of your hot nights with Viren flashing before your eyes.

Walking to the center of the room, your gaze was still glued on him as you began your speech. "Fellow mages, today is a historic day. For generations, dark mages across the five kingdoms used the knowledge passed down by our ancestors to improve humanity's ways. We no longer suffer from famine, deadly plagues or fear the threats that come from Xadia. And, as I'm sure you all know, this was only possible due to the struggles of one man: Ziard ."

The mages of Neolandia, Del Bar and Duren hummed in agreement, but Viren listened to you thoughtfully and you smirked, certain his not easily impressed frame would melt away soon. 

"Everything Ziard new about dark magic was written in three journals. Two were found by Lord Viren but the third was destroyed when Ziard was brutally murdered by Sol Regen. Or so we thought," you paused.

Reaching for your shoulder bag you retrieved a leather journal,  worn-out due to the merciless time. "Here, I present you the last journal of Ziard."

Gasps emerged from the other members, but Viren's reaction was priceless. Even if you hated to admit, you adored his enthusiastic face.

He darted up. "May I?" he gestured to the book and you nodded, letting him take it.

"That is remarkable," Viren mused, carefully turning the thin yellow pages. "Imagine all the secrets it contains, all the lives we could help with this! I don't know how you manage to locate it, but congratulations y/n."

His sharp frame softened when he said your name and for a moment, you thought your head was deceiving you with his sudden kindness. Did he-- did he just complimented you?"

However, this moment was short-lived as Viren continued to speak. "It was about time Evenere did something to contribute to this Dark Mages society. Katolis will be forever grateful for your donation."

"What?!" You said offended.

"Of course! Surely you didn't think the journal would stay with you. Once I return to Katolis I'll provide copies for you all."

"How dare you?! I found it, therefore it's staying at Evenere. You can have the copy," you replied, blood starting to boil. 

"The journal belongs to Katolis' archives, with the other two originals," Viren took a step forward.  Not intimidated, already accustomed to this type of argument, you took a step as well.

"Katolis is not the center of the world Viren. It can not concentrate all knowledge about dark magic."

"So we must hide it in the depth of the swamplands?!"

"Fellows, fellows!" the mage from Neolandia caught both of your attention. "There is no reason to start a war over this. I say we vote to decide who keeps the journal. All agree?"

You two nodded, heading back to your seats but never letting your intense glares drop.

"Now, all of those in favor of the journal staying in Evenere, please raise their hand," declared the mage and to your astonishment, only you voted in favor.

===

With large gulps you drained the beer from your large mug, slamming it against the balcony of The Blushing Troll.  

After your glory was snatched from your hands, you had to sit through the rest of the afternoon and watch Viren and the other brag about their discoveries and theories and, of course, Viren had to bring a three-dimensional presentation. Again! 

Mind in a frenzy, fuming, doing your best not to let rage overtake your actions, you powered another drink and turned back for the hundredth time to see Viren, also drinking and enjoying the evening with the other High Mages. 

"Look at him," you said to Agata, "so full of himself. Think he's the greatest mage that ever lived. Bet two silver coins that after a few shots, he's going to start crying and saying he loves them."

You moved to fill your sixth...seventh cup? But Agata stopped you. 

"Alright cookie, that's enough for tonight," she said, taking the mug from your hand.

Ignoring her, you snatched a bottle from a random person, taking another big gulp. "This was supposed to be the year of Evenere. This was supposed to be my moment," your drunk nagging continued, "he already has Zirad's staff and killed the king of the dragons. Why can't he let me be on top for once."

"Huh, interesting," Agata tilted her head, looking at Viren as well, "he always seemed like a bottom to me."

"No, totally. Bottom confirmed. But--" you shook your head, realizing where this conversation was going. "Focus Agata. Ok? Focus. I'm being wronged here."

"Cookie, are you sure the journal is the only reason you are mad?" she asked with a kind, motherly tone. 

Yes, you were mad about the journal. Heavens know how hard it was for you to find it, and letting this relic be part of Evenere's public archive would be good for the local mage community. 

But there was something else, a deeper feeling that intricated like a spider web, trapping you in it. 

You were caught between the duality of strongly hating and desperately wanting to cave in to his charms. Every time your gaze found him your body screamed. It begged for you to kiss him, to have him underneath you right now. To bury your face against the side of his neck and just nuzzle in it. To hear his moan, paint and gasp against your ear as your hips rocked and his hands squeezed you tight... 

Yet, every time your head would also say no, remembering how cold the morning after could be. How he would treat you like a stranger and how every little thing was reason enough for a fight. 

It was like being on fire while still being frozen. 

"I just don't know anymore. I think it's best if I called the night." 

Getting up, you asked for the keys to a room, not caring if they were the usual, or the special suite, or just the keys to the storage room. You just wanted to lay down, close your eyes and wait for this terrible day to end.  

Stumbling down the corridor, spiling your drink everywhere, your weak legs betrayed you. You see the ground coming fast, but only a second before the painful impact, a pair of strong, familiar arms held you.

"For heaven's sake, how many drinks did you have?" Viren's face twisted, probably smelling the intoxicating smell of booze that you weren't sure anymore if it was yours or his.  

Your hands tried to break away from his embrace but, instead, they just staid there, feeling the curve of his muscles.

"Just a--" a hickup cut your words, "just a few. I'm fine."

"I have never seen you this drunk. You are not fine," Viren insisted. You squinted, trying to discern if his face was actually worried, or was your vision that was getting blurry. 

And right when you were about to repeat that you were fine, nausea crawled your throat. Arching, you stained Viren's boots.

"Means nothing," you pointed a weak finger at him while wiping your mouth with the hem of your sleeves. 

Viren huffed. "Alright. Let's get you out of here before you ruin somebody else's boots too." Sliding his arm under your legs, he then carried you bridal style to the Inn of the Blushing Troll. 

===

Sitting on the toilet, face slouched on your palms, you watched Viren take a tiny bottle containing a thick pink fluid from his side pocket.

"Drink it," he ordered. "This potion will stop your nausea."

"I know what a sickness-killer is," you replied snatching it from his hand. The thick fluid descended your throat like honey, immediately extinguishing the bubbling feeling in your stomach.

Viren raised a brow at you. "Feeling better?"

Out of spite, you crossed your arms and looked away. "A little too sweet for my taste. I prefer my version of the potion."

He scoffed. "Unbelievable. I get out of my way to help you and this is how you thank me? You are even more annoying when you are drunk."

"If you despise me so much, why are you doing this??" your tone was deadly serious and a heavy silence fell. 

There was a tremor in your hands as your heart pumped hard against your ribs. Your eyes stared at him, frightened of Viren's response yet eager to hear it. 

But Viren's features were a conflicting mixture of gapes and choked words.  And anger sneaked into your blood like poison as the silence increased. Yanking your hands into his shirt, you brutally pulled him closer.

"Answer me," you growled. Noses almost touching, Viren's hot breath mingled with your fuming. "Answer me!" you repeated.

Viren slumped, burying his lips in yours. His fingers dug into your hair as your mouths moved wildly, kissing each other hungrily. He started to pull you forward, guiding you out of the bathroom.

When your legs hit the bed, you climbed over him.  Lust pulsed throughout your entire being as Viren laid beneath you, staring back with the same need.

"I'm going to rip that answer out of you. I'm going to make you say it." You said before kissing him again. Tongues plunging, sliding deep while hands ran along every inch of your bodies.

Going lower Viren hurriedly helped you unbuckle his purple broach and remove his vest. He started to pull his black shirt up, but you stopped him. Pushing his arms over his head, you let them stuck there, exposing only his chest and face. "Keep them there," you sensually said. 

Leaning, you brushed your mouth against his but denied another kiss, moving to suck and bit the side of the neck.  Your skin shivered as it brushed against his beard.

Viren started to push his hips up, moaning quietly in your ear. You moved to remove his boots, pants, and underwear and your whole body blushed at the sight of his throbbing cock, curled, touching the base of his stomach.

You just... stared at it. 

"Y/n..." Viren said your name in a weak cry. 

"I think I should leave you like this," you said with a devilish smile.

"WHAT?!" It sounded more like a sign of desperation than a question and you simply love it. 

"It's what you deserve anyway..."

"Y/n!" Viren started to hustle, trying to take his shirt off but you quickly stopped him, mounting him again. 

"You're not moving until I hear you say it." You repeated. It was hard to control your urgers to stripe your clothes and just own him, ride him until he came undone.  But you simply had to hear him say it. 

If he loved or hated you, you simply needed to hear it. 

You began to move up and down slowly. Your pants grinding against his erection provided a blissful friction.

"You terrible...ahh!--ssstubborn...aaah--sssexy wonderfull," Viren managed to say between his heavy pantings, "I--I"

Your body increased the seep and an animal sound escaped him. "I need you I want you y/n please!" 

Finally, the words came out of him in a desperate begging. Not being able to hold your desires any longer, you yanked your clothes off. Viren untangled himself from his shirt and adjusted himself on the bed. Grabbing you by the waist, he put you back on top of him, shoving his cock inside you.

A deep moan snaked out of your throat as you felt that gratifying pressure. You laned forward and between sloppy kisses and pantings, both of your hips moved, going deeper, harder. 

“That’s it...come on...so good...," you said, gaze glued on Viren's wobbly, melting face. 

"Y/n yes....I need you...AH!" 

As your bodies attacked each other, stripped from all pride and shame, you reached sheer ecstasy. "I'm yours..."  you whispered, mind in another plane, every nerve like a bolt of lighting as Viren also gasped in his orgasm.  

Resting your foreheads together,  still interlaced, you both relearned how to breathe, letting the hotness of your climax slowly fade. 

===

The morning came. A sharp pain smashed against the walls of your skull like an angry tide, and the rays of sunshine were enough to burn your retinas as you waited in line to bord the ship that would take you back to Evenere.

Even with this cursing hangover, the events of last night played clearly in your mind. Every action, every word. What remained unclear was the truthiness of it all. 

Wich was why you didn't wait for Viren to wake up. You couldn't take him saying everything was another drunk mistake again. It would hurt too much. 

The plank fell with a heavy thud, bridging the pear to the boat. But before you could take another step, you heard Viren's voice calling for you.

"Y/n. Wait!" 

You never thought you would see Viren in such a state. The browns and whites of his hair were tangled in a ridiculous mess of impossible angles, his beard, once neatly in place, was now all fuzzy and puffed. His shirt was wrongly buttoned and the lace of his boots still undone.

"Viren what on earth are you--" 

"Stop," Viren raised his hand. "I need you to just stop and listen without interrupting because if you do I-- I don't think I'll ever regain the courage to say this again."  There was a deep fragility in his gaze and his voice didn't carry the usual confidence. Worried, you let him take you to an isolated corner.

After a deep inhale, Viren continued. "Y/n, what I said last night, about wanting you...it wasn't just the reflection of alcohol. I, really, truly want you.   You understand magic in a way so different from mine. But it is challenging, it is exciting! And when the realization of my feelings for you finally came, I panicked. I was scared to have someone new in my life. Because in these last years, all the people I ever loved seemed to get hurt. My wife, Queen Serai... Harrow. Even my relationship with my son is falling apart!"

Viren closed his eyes, breathing deeply again before holding your hands. "I was scared that if I brought you into my life, I would somehow end up hurting you. So I tried to push you away but it was so, so hard. Every time we met I just wanted to hold you, have you next to me. And it was in this fruitless attempt to protect you that I ended up hurting you even more. It was stupid I know. Can you ever forgive me?"

Your hands moved to gently cup his face. Viren easily leaned forward and your lips met in a kiss. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that a thousand words could never be. Viren's hand rested below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek as your fingers ran down his spine, pulling him closer until there was no space left. The soothing sound of the ocean mingled with the beating of your heart, strong and passionate. 

Pulling away, you looked up and Viren's frame was renowned.  There was joy, and you could feel the love that played in his subtle smile and soft gaze. 

"Does that mean you will stop criticizing my way to do magic?" Viren asked.

"Only if you promise me you won't bring another three dimensional for the next year's fair. That trick is getting old Viren."

"It's my trade mark."

"No, it's not."

"How about we discuss this at breakfast?" Viren suggested. "Maybe we can plan a presentation together. Perhaps travel in search of another relic for Evenere..."

"Yes. I would love that," you replied.

So hand in hand you two head back the Blushing Troll. Things had finally changed and you knew, for now on, it wouldn't be easy waters, but for Viren, you would continue to sail, both ready and excited for the start of this new chapter in your lives.

[metaphorical-love-for-a-car]

Hell to the No-- Ben Hardy x Reader (ft. Joe Mazzello.. like, a lot)

Prompt; none this time!

Warnings; slight language, specified fem! reader

Word Count; 2k

Notes; I wrote this instead of writing the essays that are due tomorrow, so I hope y’all enjoy lol ALSO IF YA WANNA BE ON THE TAG LIST FOR FICS LEMME KNOW!! 

Growing up with Joe Mazzello was... interesting, to say the least. He was the typical older brother. The two of you would constantly bicker over the simplest things, and then you two would be up to mischief together before the day was over. There was incessant teasing between the two of you. Joe was the constant ball of energy around your home, and you always struggled to keep up with him. And yes, he was constantly screaming.

When you were young, you thought he was the coolest person-- albeit you would never admit that. He achieved the childhood dream of being famous. You were always his biggest fan. If he needed help preparing for an audition, you’d give him your full attention. You always had his back, and you knew that he always had yours. 

In a way, you made your own name for yourself. You were a photographer, a quite good one at that. You were hired by many companies for high-end photo shoots. As you started to rise through the rankings, Joe helped you out a little. He would try to convince the management to hire you for whatever film or show he was working on’s promotional photographs. Sometimes it would work, and you were always grateful for his support. 

“Joey, please, you don’t have to keep doing this.” He had somehow managed to get you hired on the set of The Pacific. Joe just scoffed at your remark, looping an arm around your shoulders. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

After that, it became pretty common for you two to work together. If you hired one Mazzello, then you might as well hire the other because you’d never hear the end of it if you didn’t. Luckily for you, the same applied to Bohemian Rhapsody. You were beyond ecstatic when you got the news. The first thing you did was call Joe, practically screaming in his ear.

You were on set, discussing some photo arrangements when you heard a familiar voice call out, “Aw, there’s my little mozzarella stick!” 

“Shut it, Francis,” you quipped before apologizing to the person you were originally talking to. You spun on your heel and immediately burst out laughing. It wasn’t the first time you had seen Joe’s curly wig, but it seemed to get bigger every time you caught a glimpse of him. He was walking with three other men. You had already met Rami, as he had been friends with Joe for quite some time. The other two were unknown to you. Sure, you could remember their names, but you had yet to formally introduce yourself to them.

“Francis?” The Brian May clone looked at you curiously. Your grin widened.

“Joey’s middle name. Isn’t it adorable?” you cooed.

“Oh, mate, that’s fantastic.” The blonde clapped Joe’s shoulder before sticking out his hand in your direction. “I’m Ben.” 

“Nice to meet you, Ben. I’m (Y/N).” Realization flooded his features. He flashed you a bright smile.

“It’s about bloody time we’ve met. Joe’s talked about you nonstop!” You raised a brow at Joe, playfully jabbing his side.

“Has he? All good things, I hope.”

“Of course,” Joe scoffed.

“Perfect, now I can tell you all his embarrassing secrets” Joe gave a dramatic gasp before moving to stand toe to toe with you. You narrowed your eyes at him, and he returned the gesture. 

“You make me vomit,” he growled.

“And you’re the scum between my toes,” you said between gritted teeth. The Little Rascals was a movie that the two of you shared a love for. You were constantly quoting it. 

After a few more moments of an intense staring contest, Rami finally stepped in between the two of you, knowing full well that the two of you would’ve gone on for forever. “They said something about doing a quick photo shoot?” Your attention snapped Rami.

“Oh, yeah! Ready to get your model on, Ahkmenrah?”

“Of course, darling! I was born ready.” You laughed at his Freddie impression before rounding the boys up, giving them directions on where to stand.

You were sitting off to the side, watching them film, when you felt someone tap your shoulder. You glanced up to see Ben. “Mind if I join you?” You shook your head, scooting over so he would have plenty of room on the small bench. The two of you watched one of the directors animatedly talk to Rami. “Hey, could I take a look at some of the pictures you took?” 

“Yeah, sure!” You picked up your work bag, which held so much stuff that it would put Mary Poppins to shame. You shuffled through your belongings before finally pulling out your laptop. You had already transferred over some of the pictures, and they just needed to be edited before they would be released. “They’re not quite done yet. I’ve still got to do some touch-ups on a couple of them.” You handed the laptop to Ben and watched his expressions as he scrolled through the pictures. 

“Holy shit. You’re really good, you know that?” You snorted, rubbing your face in an attempt to hide the blush you were sure was already spreading.

“Thanks, it took a lot of practice.” Ben handed back your laptop when someone called his name, motioning him over. A small grin graced your lips when you realized there was something new on your screen. When you looked away, Ben had opened up a blank document and typed down his number. Chewing on your lip, you made a mental note to shoot him a text some time. 

It took you a little while to finally build up the confidence to text Ben. The two of you continued to talk even after your work with Bohemian Rhapsody finished. You knew that you were rapidly developing a crush on him. Not only was he good looking and an amazing actor, but he was also the sweetest person. Ben made you smile every time the two of you talked. And, God, that accent just made your knees go weak. 

You groaned when your phone started ringing. It was just barely after seven in the morning, on a Saturday no less. You reached across the nightstand to pull your phone from the charger. You sat up and narrowed your eyes at the blinding screen. Ben was calling. “Hello?” Your voice sounded more groggy than you would’ve liked.

“Sorry, love, did I wake you?” He gave a nervous laugh. “Sometimes I forget about the time differences.” You smiled, peeling yourself away from the bed.

“No, no, it’s fine. I probably needed to get up soon anyway,” you hummed. You were about to fix yourself a cup of coffee when you heard Ben mumble something then clear his throat. “You okay?”

“I’m fine!” he assured. “I was just wondering... the Oscars are coming up, and I thought I’d ask if you wanted to be my plus one?” You froze before slowly setting down your mug. 

“Like, as a date or...” you trailed off, chewing your lip nervously.

“That’s what I had in mind, yeah.” A wide smile spread across your face. 

“I’d love to.” You felt like a lovesick yearling. You practically screeched with excitement when you ended the phone call. 

A couple of days had passed when Joe called-- in the middle of the night. You weren’t too surprised to see his name displayed across your phone. He was always calling at odd hours. “Joseph Francis Mazzello the third, to what do I owe the pleasure of your call?” 

“I’ve got an offer you simply cannot refuse! You. Me. The Oscars. Boom! You’re my plus one.” You laughed.

“Sorry, Joey. I’ve got prior commitments.”

“What? Don’t tell me you’ll be working! It’ll be way more fun hanging out with me than taking candids of countless celebrities.”

“No, I’m not working. I’ve actually got a date.”

“What’s his name, address, and social security number?”

“Joe. You know better than this. I’m not giving you any information because you’ll just scare him away. Remember Andi Gilmore, who you scared so bad that his parents started homeschooling him?”

“Hey! That wasn’t my fault,” Joe grumbled.

“Whatever you say, bro, but if memory serves correctly, you went all Pat Murray on him.”

“Your memory clearly does not serve correctly.”

You spent the next couple of weeks in a mad dash, trying to find the perfect dress to wear. It needed to be something good because there would be no shortage of pictures and videos by the end of the night. Thankfully, you were able to find one that was just right for the occasion.

Ben stood on your doorstep, nervously shifting his weight. He had been smitten since he first introduced himself to you. He hadn’t been able to get you out of his mind since you left the Bohemian Rhapsody set. Sure, the two of you talked nearly every day, but it wasn’t the same as having you beside him. When you opened the door, it felt like all the air had been pulled from his lungs. A loving smile spread across his face. “Wow. You’re beautiful.” Your cheeks pinkened.

“Thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself.” He took your hand and pressed a kiss to your knuckles. Your face turned to a darker shade of red.

“Must be the luckiest man in the world if I got you to agree to go on a date with me. Shall we?” He motioned towards the car that was parked on the curb. 

Joe kept his eyes peeled for his friends. He had found Gwilym already, but he had yet to find Ben. He was watching every car to see if the blond beauty would step out. Joe’s brows furrowed when he saw you getting out of a car. He could’ve sworn you told him you were going on a date, and he was even more confused when Ben got out of the same car. Realization hit him like a pile of bricks when Joe saw Ben put an arm around your waist. “Oh, you have got to be kidding me! Him? Seriously? I thought you had higher standards, (Y/N),” Joe shouted. You rolled your eyes at him.

“Calm down, Francis. We’re going on a date, not to a drive-thru wedding in Vegas.”

You were finally able to cross ‘attending The Oscars’ off your bucket list. It was an amazing experience, and you were so proud of everyone who worked on Bohemian Rhapsody. The movie racked up the most awards of the night, a grand total of four Oscars. You couldn’t tell who cheered louder for Rami-- you, Joe, or Lucy. When all the festivities ended and everyone started to leave, you turned to Joe and Ben. “You know what I really want right now? A jumbo-sized slushie from 7/11.” Joe’s eyes widened as he loudly exclaimed his agreement. 

The three of you went to the closest 7/11. Joe wandered around the small store while you and Ben went straight to the slushie machine. You danced in place, pouring as much of the different colored liquids you could into the large cup. “How do you think that’s going to taste once they all mix together?” Ben questioned with a raised eyebrow. You shrugged, and he stuck a finger in your cup. He scooped up a glob and ate it, humming. “Not too bad.”

“Rude!” you gasped. “Shouldn’t you know better than to stick your fingers in other people’s food? I thought you were supposed to be a British Gentleman.” You wagged a finger at him, walking towards the check out counter. You felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist.

“I’m not always a perfect gentleman,” Ben flirted. You opened your mouth to reply but was interrupted by Joe’s fake, exaggerated gagging.

“Oh, hell no. You two are so disgusting. I’ve been third-wheeling all night.” You cast him a glance, only to see that he was recording a video. 

“Aw, don’t worry, Joey! You’ve still got Cardy B!” you cooed, a smirk crossing your lips. Ben snorted, and Joe replied with a smartass comment, but that got cropped out of the video.

Tag list;

@mothermercuryy

[redrobin-detective]

Family Man

I got talking in the discord last night and I got inspired on the idea of Inko not only knowing about AFO but being something of an equal partner in his business. It was fun to write and I figured since my writing has been very sporadic as of late, it would serve as my entry for @thefruitloop-chan‘s DFO fic contest. I hope you all enjoy Villain Dad and his Lovely Villainous wife with their Hero loving son.

All For One, currently Midoriya Hisashi along with a hundred other useless, abandoned names, has never been a conventional man. He was born in a period of upheaval with a power that beyond comprehension and saw that things could be different, better. His whole life was dedicated to improving the lives of people with quirks and fighting back at the government’s idiotic kneejerk reaction to controlling the super-powered populace. When his only brother died on the opposite end of the battle field, he had given up on trusting people and contented himself with a life of solitude. Until he met her that is.

“Hmm good morning, Hisashi,” Inko purred, leaning down to sleepily nuzzle his neck while he reviewed the latest dealings with his underlings. He doesn’t the close the tab when Inko began to skim the report and instead angled the screen her way. “Looks like the Kuronaga Genetics Corporation is misusing their funds again; just look at all those unexplained expenses,” she pointed out. “I think we need to remind them whose money they’re embezzling.”

“Yes, I noticed that as well, I could probably spare a few low levels thugs to encourage them to be more mindful of their spending,” Hisashi nodded while Inko just tutted.

“Fear is an excellent motivator in some cases but this will be the third time you’ve called them out on their practices. I would recommend you make them cooperate of their own accord; we have six other quirk labs on our payroll. Pad their budgets a little more, start pulling people from Kuronaga onto other projects as if you plan to shut them down. Nothing is as motivating as self-preservation; they’ll straighten themselves out to avoid being liquidated with no brute force needed.”

“Brilliant,” Hisashi blurted out suddenly, turning to his wife and kissing her cheek. “I would be nothing more than a two-bit villain without your insight.”

“You’ll always be a two-bit villain, my love,” she whispered in his ear. “Do you have time for breakfast?”

“I’ll make time,” he smiled back, watching her hips sway as she walked in the kitchen.

He met her under completely ordinary circumstances, at the station watching the news while waiting for the train. He’d been muttering about the government’s negligence regarding the increasing amount of unrest surrounding quirk advocacy groups. The unassuming green haired woman next to him intrigued him by agreeing and suggesting several ways for the state to address the issue. And so they continued to debate for the rest of the wait over the busy din of the train. By the time she stepped off her train for work, he was several blocks past his stop, late for his meeting and more than a little smitten as he carefully tucked away her phone number. The intelligent gleam in her eyes as she tore into the inadequacies of quirk law stayed with him long after she’d left and he called her later that night. Their courtship had been brief and intense, by the end of the third month, she had a ring on her finger and a positive pregnancy test. He took her surname and they moved into a cozy little house together and All For One was reminded, for a moment, what it was like to be happy.

“What time are you going in today? I’d like your opinions on several of the open contracts we have, you’re so much better at picking up loopholes and inconsistencies than me,” he asked as he sat down at the table and was greeted with a bowl of rice and eggs.

“In a couple of hours, I have a meeting with Izuku’s principal and the Bakugou family regarding Katsuki’s reckless and dangerous use of his quirk,” Inko said, setting herself down.

“I still say I should relieve the boy of his quirk since clearly he’s not being taught to use it correctly,” Hisashi growled, his anger still boiling from when his precious son came home the other day with burns on his arms. Inko had barely been able to restrain him from burning their whole house down.

“Don’t go causing trouble, I’m not eager to move again,” Inko chastised, pointing at him with her chopsticks. “I’ll make sure to impress on them just how unhappy we are with the situation, I’m pretty sure they’re more afraid of us suing them into poverty than anything else. Maybe then Mitsuki will learn to control her son.”

“She never learned to control herself,” Hisashi mused into her coffee.

“Well then I guess we’ll just strongly encourage them to relocate their feral child far away from Izuku,” Inko stated and Hisashi couldn’t help but sigh and stare at her with open love and admiration. He’d tried to keep his less than savory dealings away from his growing family but Inko never lost her sharpness and picked up on all his lies and half-truths rather quickly. He can still see her standing there, incredibly pregnant, after he’d guiltily laid out his whole past and current operations.

‘I don’t care that you’re a villain, Hisashi, I care that you lied to me about your job and your quirk,’ Inko raged. ‘Not to mention that your manner of trying to reform the system is completely childish. You want to create an underground villain league to fight the heroes? It’s a waste of resources and just reinforces the public’s trust in the self-serving hero system. If we’re going to be villains, we’re going to do it right.’

“What?” Inko asks dryly when she catches him staring.

“Just wondering how a bitter old man like me managed to win over someone as charming and wonderful as you,” he sighed.

“Because I want to take over your criminal empire in order to enforce my will on Japan,” she teased.

“It’s yours, my love; for you and Izuku, I would level this country and burn the world to ash,” Hisashi professed, meaning every word. For his family, he set the whole world aflame.

“And if you did that, we would be living in a burned, decrepit dystopia only slightly worse than the one we’re living in now,” she sighed, rubbing at her forehead. “Not everything needs fire and brimstone, darling. We don’t need to break the whole system to reform it; we’re already turning the tide. By the time Izuku is in high school, the hero system will be on the outs.”

“Hopefully,” Hisashi grumbled, looking at Izuku’s All Might themed place setting that had been purchased with his hard earned money. There was nothing he hated more than monetarily supporting All Might’s brand, except, of course, his small son’s disappointed face.

“All the kids are into heroes now, he’ll grow out of it, don’t worry,” Inko smiled, reading his thoughts. As if being summoned, there were several loud thumps reverberating through the apartment before Izuku suddenly appeared in the entryway, his hair a tangled whirlwind. He waddled forward as fast as his little legs could carry him before crashing into Hisashi’s knees.

“Hey there, where’s the fire?” Hisashi asks, lifting his boy up into his arms.

“Papa always goes into work early and I didn’t want you to leave before I could say goodbye,” Izuku wobbled, clinging into Hisashi’s dress shirt. He looked up Inko who gave him a small shrug as she gathered up their dishes, before turning back to Izuku. His wild curls with Inko’s rich green color, her sweet rounded face and the freckles he and his brother had as children, Izuku really was the perfect blend of the two of them. He’d never planned on becoming a father but having Izuku is something he would never regret, his boy’s curiousity and joy were infectious, it reminded Hisashi why he and Inko were fighting so hard to create a better world.

“I would never leave without saying goodbye, son,” he soothed, bouncing Izuku lightly on his knee. “I do have to go to work but you know that Papa will always come home to you and Mama. I love you both more than all the quirks in the world.”

“All the quirks?” Izuku said with a puzzled little expression, “more than Kacchan’s Explosion? Or Mama’s Attraction? What about All Might’s quirk? Do you love me more than All Might’s Superpower?”

“Yes, Izuku,” Hisashi said, shaking his head with amused affection. “I love you more than All Might’s quirk.” Once upon a time, he might have been more interested in recovering One For All. It was, after all, the last vestiges he had left of his brother. But he’s spent too much time fussing over the past; he needs to look now towards the future, to Izuku’s future.

“Wow that’s an awful lot,” Izuku muttered with an adorably serious face. Hisashi ran his fingers through his son’s hair and set him gently back to the ground.

“More than you know, now go get dressed; you and Mama have an appointment at school and then she needs to join me at work. We have some important things to do today and you have exciting things to learn in school,” propaganda most of it but Inko refused to let him homeschool Izuku, something about ‘lack of time’ and ‘he needs to play with other kids not debate politics with immortal cryptids.’ Oh well, Izuku was only four, he had plenty of time to convince her.

“Okay,” Izuku squealed, tearing back off towards his room with all the enthusiasm a four year old can have. Hisashi watched him go with a fond smile.

“You better keep your promise,” Inko said quietly over the sound of water spilling into the sink. “I know your work is important but I want you to always come home to Izuku and I.”

“Inko, everything is going to be fine,” he soothed.

“It will be when you stop taking so many risks,” he could hear the frustration in her voice. “I know you hate All Might but will you stop goading him so much. He has all that power built-up, if you slip up for even a moment, you might-.” She stopped and brought her hand up to her mouth, unable to continue.

“Inko,” he said again, walking over to her and placing his hands onto his shoulders. She brought one of her wet hands up to hold his own.

“You need to make a choice Midoriya Hisashi, you need to decide which is more important, your need for closure on your brother’s quirk or your family. I’m telling you, if you keep chasing after All Might then you will lose us, one way or another.” The house fell quiet after that, even the sound of Izuku stomping in his room seemed to fade at her heavy proclamation.

“You, always you,” he answered after a few tense moments trying to find his voice. “You and Izuku are the best things that have ever happened to me, tell me, what do you want.”

“Let the past be the past,” she said turning to him. “Focus on our goals, dismantling the establishment from the inside out. Stop it with these petty fights and this obsession with stopping All Might. They say the best revenge is living well, so do that. Live well, love your son and change the world.”

“Okay,” he sighed, leaning down and kissing her forehead before setting his cheek on her hair. “No more All Might, no more fighting, it will be strictly business from now.”

“Don’t sound so sad, my love,” she hummed, pulling out of his hold to pat his cheek before returning to the soapy dishes. “I just saved your life.”

“Well don’t sound so proud about it, now you’re stuck with me for life,” he teased, already calculating how to circumnavigate her decree. Part of being All For One meant he had to be in the field occasionally but as for All Might… well maybe it is finally time to let his brother’s ghost stop haunting him. Inko’s probably right that the big oaf would punch his face off one of the these days and he can’t let that happen, not when he has so much to lose.

“I am here!” Izuku announced, jumping back into the room with a broad grin. Hisashi moaned, on the other hand, he might need to murder All Might anyone for making his son into a fanboy, complete with grinning t-shirt and light up shoes.

“That you are,” he nodded, scooping his son up into his arms. “How about a deal, you go change your shirt and Papa will pick you up from school today and take you to the park for some quirk spotting.”

“Quirk spotting yeah!” Izuku wriggled leaping out of his arms to go change into what was probably going to be another All Might shirt but he’d take what he could get.

“You better not be trying to drag Izuku into our work,” Inko warned from the sink.

“I’m just encouraging his natural interest and skill with quirk analysis,” and subtly probing for any signs that he’d inherited Hisashi’s quirk, “but we’ll be good and be back in time for dinner.”

“You’re never good, you villain,” she said with a toss of her hair.

“Oh my dear villainess,” he grinned, wrapping his arms around her from behind. “You only like me ‘cause I’m bad.” He had not been born Midoriya Hisashi but that didn’t matter much. It was the only name he had truly cherished and the only name he wanted to have. His life was unconventional, running an underground conspiracy alongside his wife while managing a hero obsessed four year old. But he had found in his many, many years of life that it’s better to live an abnormal life. He’s just lucky he found such strange people to share it with.