#important to my identity then others so idk
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Hiiii I saw you say you have Notes on your Remus and Janus designs 👀👀?
Could we see/hear some tidbits?
FOR SURE !! Here's what the original doodles for their designs look like, first off, (I know you didn't ask for Virgil but I did these three at the same time)
When I drew this I had just finished an exam and had to wait another hour until I could leave the classroom, so I wrote down enough notes that I had to flip the page instead:
Virgil:
- Virgil has light brown hair that he dyes black (badly). It is essential that the dye job look like shit. It looks artificial, his roots are showing, there's patches where the color didn't take, etc etc.
- He also has blue eyes, which I decided on mostly because it makes it even more clear that his hair isn't naturally black.
- He wears earrings, but his ears aren't actually pierced — they're fake little little clip-on things.
- He wears black nail polish at all times, but it's always chipped because he gets the cheapest stuff he can get his hands on.
- His hair (especially his bangs) get very long at times because he gets too socially anxious to go to the hairdresser. Back in middle school, he used to have Janus cut them for him (Remus could have done a better job but trusting him with scissors would have been a mistake). Now he mostly cuts it off by himself — it looks about as good as his dye job.
- Virgil's purple hoodie is a leftover from Remus' fashion design endeavors that Remus thought didn't look weird enough.
Janus:
- He has naturally strawberry blonde hair. The length is very important to him — he started growing it towards the end of middle school. (He allows Remus to experiment with hairdos sometimes as long as he doesn't cut anything off. I need to draw that sometime)
- I'm not entirely settled on his eye color. I know at least one of his eyes is a very pretty brown, but I have half a mind to give him a yellow glass eye for his left side — I'm not sure it'd make any logistic sense for his situation, though
- He got his ears actually pierced when he was 16.
- He also may or may not have a forked tongue. Not sure how I'd ever be able to show that off — but if he does have one, then Remus definitely was the one to encourage him to do it.
- His fashion style was definitely influenced by being around Remus (who may have used him as a mannequin/dummy because he's small.) so much. Remus also attempted to make clothes for him, but Janus is very fancy and picky, so he doesn't wear those clothes very often (though he might accessorize with stuff Remus made for him occasionally).
Remus:
- He has naturally very dark hair. He uses temporary/surface level dyes a lot, but if he's using permanent or semi-permanent dyes, he's usually limiting himself to the grey streak — it's kind of a sample strand, since it's already bleached. He 100% copied his hairstyle from Roman's.
- He (and Roman, of course) has greenish blue eyes.
- Janus paid for him to get his ears (and eyebrows) professionally pierced because otherwise he was just going to do it himself with a sewing needle.
- He has a lot of very shitty stick-and-poke tattoos he made/makes on himself. They're almost always hidden by his outfits.
- Speaking of which, Remus makes most of his outfits costumes himself. The quality of the work may vary, but they are always way too over-the-top for casual wear, because he stands out anyway, so... in for a penny, right. (As I said in the tags of a post: he is very creative and has no shame or social anxiety at all, so he had his whole aesthetic ("overdramatic green") figured out by the time he was 13)
- He also has SH scars, but, again — they're hidden by his outfits 99% of the time. He's a slut who never shows an inch of skin
#their design go in order of intensity Virgil → Janus → Remus#virgil likes to express himself but is too chicken to do anything too extreme so he's limited to softcore emo#janus is definitely fancier than most but he wears stuff i still definitely see every day at my uni#(i see people wearing corsets regularly at my uni idk what other people's experiences are. English litt major in a non-English country...)#(for those who don't know that's a gay as fuck major)#and then Remus looks like he's in the middle of a stage production every single day. with makeup to match#OH this is somewhat of a college AU ! Roman is also there and Remus' class does costumes for Roman's occasionally#Roman does theater and Remus does visual arts (design major/fashion minor bc there was no fashion major)#Janus and Patton are philosophy majors and of course Virgil is a psychology major#and then we have Logan in biochemical ingeneering for obvious reasons.#i have so much lore sorry for rambling .#anyway they keep a lot of their original designs because it just fits them#BUT i needed to include virgil having a shitty hairdo/dye and etc because he is. SUCH a try-hard in my mind.#emo sure. but he looks wannabe emo. it's Essential. he's fake ! he wants to fit in! with the gay kids sure but he still wants to fit in!#it's very clear that his hair is dyed because it's very clear that he is a wannabe. it is so important to me.#also the tidbit about him not being able to go to the hairdresser. is ALSO SO IMPORTANT. he pretends the shitty hairstyle is intentional.#even his signature hoddie is someone else's leftovers. He Borrows. From A Lot Of Places. but he doesnt have a real identity of his own yet.#you wouldnt guess while reading these tags but im actually way more passionate avout Janus and Remus than i am about virgil#it's just that i project onto virgil so so so much .#anyway SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE AGAIN. I KEEP DOING THAT#ask#idrawgaystffs#sanders sides#lbau#drawing#traditional#rant#do i character tag this. i dont feel like feel like character tagging this#OH AND thank you so much for asking !!! as you can tell i really like talking . about them
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Predicting Weddings Timing for Celebrities with Astrology
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જ⁀➴ Guessing when you'll marry with Astrology
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₊˚⊹ ᰔ Selena Gomez has her Descendant in Aquarius, so ruled traditionally by Saturn. Saturn is in her own 7H, indicating she could start to get married after her Saturn Return. Yet, this is an indicator of marrying "late". Her Saturn return already happened and it was in 2022. Yet, her Jupiter, which represents the husband, is in Virgo, and often a Jupiter return can indicate happy timing for marriages, and sometimes also meeting of the FS. The next time it will return for her it is in 2027. Now, checking her Solar Returns, this year she got engaged and it was indeed something I saw coming. Yet, she could in 2025 to 2026 have some difficulties in her love life, things can get hard sometimes, I think the engagement will be long, or at least there will be some hardships the next few years. Yet, checking her Solar Return in 2027 just SCREAMS wedding to me. The beautiful 7H stellium with Sun, Venus, Mercury, Briede, moreover 7H Ruler is in 7H, and it is her Jupiter return!! In this case, Solar Return 2027-2028 could be the time she can get married.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Jennie (BLACKPINK) has Gemini 7H, so ruled by Mercury, this could be an indicator of marrying young, but her 7H Ruler is in her 2H, and conjunct Saturn, which also happens to be her 2H Ruler. This is an indicator of marrying on or after her Saturn Return. Which happens around 2025. Looking at her Solar Return, there MAY have been a proposal already, perhaps either happened or will happen, yet idk if it will come out or not, or if it'd actually true. Be careful with this, yet, if she does get marry, her Solar Return of 2026-2027 to me is the most obvious. It's around her Saturn Return, and in this SRC, she has 5H and 7H rulers both in 10H. Her 10H has Sun, Venus, Pluto, Mars AND Mercury. This is an indicator of a big success in career, but also a huge change in identity, mostly that Pluto conjunct the Sun there. The rulers of the romance houses are all there, and her 1H Ruler is also there, meaning there is a change of identity and it is also related to her romance. Yet, the ruler of the 10H is in 12H, this may be hidden from the public. It may not be 100% true, this is just for entertainment, so take it lightly.
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₊˚⊹ ᰔ Mingyu (SEVENTEEN) has Sagittarius 7H, so ruled by Jupiter. I also wanna add that he has Sun conjunct Saturn, and Venus conjunct Saturn, so usually this indicates a delay in marriage, he can again get married after his Saturn return or during. His Saturn return is in 2026. He also has his 11H and Venus both ruled by Mars. Mars is a planet that often comes as a return, and here are the next year for his returns: 2025, 2027, 2028. Now, when we look at the solar returns, I wanna say that there are chances he could go public in his solar return 2025-2026 with someone, he may say he is with someone and it can be public. As for the timing of a wedding, I wanna say the one that really caught my attention is during his SRC 2027-2028. He has a 7H stellium with Juno, Moon, Neptune, Mercury, and 7H Ruler is in 7H. This looks pretty good and moreover he has a Mars return, which seems important for those indicators.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Zendaya has her 7H ruled by Sun. She also has her 2H and 11H ruled by Jupiter both. Yet, her Jupiter is itself ruled by Saturn, and she has a Saturn return in 2026. Now looking at her Solar Returns, which are very important here since her 7H is ruled by the Sun, we can see that this current SRC, something big can happen in her love life, and I have said it before. So we will see how the rest of her SRC can develop. Yet this doesn't seem to be the year of wedding. But looking at the next Solar Return, 2025-2026, she has big indicators of getting married. She has her natal rising as her src rising, so the Sun is in the 7H, Vertex, mercury too, and 7H Ruler is in 7H. She also has Scorpio 10H, and Pluto conjunct Rising. Change in her identity and something big happening in her love life. It is also her Saturn return, so it could make even more sense.
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It's cool that for you gender is just a funny little cloak you can don whenever you want to, and you don't feel as dysphoric when getting misgendered, and that you use the bathroom that has the shorter line.
However, have you maybe for one second considered all of these things are privileges people like me do not have? When i go into the women's bathroom, i might get kicked out or assaulted. My specific kind of gender will not be acknowledged, because anything feminine is immediately seen as threatening. Idk, i feel like a lot of trans people and especially transmascs never learn to respect other trans people who may have different experiences and get oppressed in different ways. It's not enough for you to be trans, that does not make you a feminist by default! It does not make you understanding & accepting of other identities! That is still work you have to do yourself!!!
And frankly i am tired of getting kicked from communities and socially murdered because a transmasc decided i was too weird/didn't fit into their transmisogynistic worldview/any combination of those two; and watching my sisters get ostracized with no support system over the most basic of differences. It gets even worse when we call this shit out, it's immediate social murder, everyone turns away and abandons you.
DO. BETTER.
Educate younger transmascs, be vocal about transfems, stop attending events where no transfems are and either work to make those spaces better or hold space and grace for the transfems in your life. I am tired of my sisters being hurt so badly in the places they're searching comfort in. DO BETTER!
Transmascs & trans men who are vocal about these issues, i love you. Your voice is important in this, and it's imperative that if you notice one of your TME friends act like this around transfems to speak up. To them, your voice carries a lot more weight than ours does (as sad and shit as that may be). Just like feminist cis men, you can help a ton by just calling out bullshit in your communities.
Please, i'm fucking tired of being hurt by the people that should be my brothers and siblings.
#rayla talks#transmisogyny#transfem#transmasc#sorry for the Discourse but i've seen so much bullshit on my feed these past days#and also been hurt too much by the people i should be sharing a community with#it's sad a lot of my sisters have similar stories. so so so many similar stories.
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oohhhhh okay, polymorphkin or shapeshifterkin is definitely the vibe. I’ve seen a few descriptions of both so I’m not sure which is more accurate but I am glad to know there’s general terms for this.
#I’ve been trying to think of how to express my kintypes. And where the line between kin gender and otherhearted is bc I don’t think#everything fits neatly into a category or fits into multiple like my harpy identification which is absolutely Kin and gender#It’s like. I am a fallen star. My base form is a primordial soup of light and energy and potential. It’s shifting and changing in color and#form. The way a music visualizer shifts and changes. Did you know nasa has some space sound recordings? Part of the reason I like doom meta#so much is it has a similar sound to those recordings! It really scratches a part of brain nothing else does.#and I can shift into many forms or multiple at once. Which is part of why I like chimeras so much. But also some of my forms feel more#important to my identity then others so idk#My multitudes are part of a whole. And I’m glad there are general terms for this
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Thinking about "your weakness is how you always want to be the hero" and how the series returns to this at the end
Li Lianhua hated how he acted as Li Xiangyi and spent years trying to distance himself from it, but ultimately he still fell back into the similar patterns, for all his added experience
His main priority was always to "do the right thing" regardless of how that would impact on those around him. And it *did* impact those around him. From Qiao Wanmian and Shan Gudao as Li Xiangyi to Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng as Li Lianhua
Giving the Styx flower to the emperor so he could use it as leverage to guarantee Fang Duobing and his family's safety. Using the last of his power to save Yun Biqiu. Constantly putting others above himself whilst actively refusing to recognise that his self-sacrificial nature would hurt those he cared about most
And sure, he thinks he's going to die anyway. They're going to be hurt regardless and he can't do anything about that. His odds are low of the Styx flower even working. But ultimately, he refuses to even consider trying. Li Xiangyi has been dead a long time and Li Lianhua is just there to tide things over. What value is the life of a ghost
To the end, he lives and dies a hero. To the end, he refuses to live for himself.
#sth about how he almost managed to live for himself but his past and need to do right doomed him.#those missing years before canon starts were probably the closest he got but even then the knowledge he couldn't use martial arts#must have killed him (no pun intended). because he'd put so much stock in his identity as sigu sect leader + hero + prodigy#so to have such a massive part of his identity stripped from him... honestly it doesn't seem that he ever fully comes to terms with it#but he makes progress and he tries to do better. + that leads to him becoming a different type of 'hero' than the symbol he was originally#deep down he wants to help people with all he has but his capacity isn't infinite + at some point can only be taken from himself#mysterious lotus casebook#mlc spoilers#also to be clear I mention shan gudao not to say lxy should have realised earlier bc for a lot of the time he was too young to notice#and later on sgd did better at hiding his intentions. but more for how lxy tunnel visioned towards his idea of righteousness#and steamrolled over everyone else. both sgd and qwm were placed far below the importance of the sigu sect#and lxy's arrogance made it such that sigu became reliant on him alone as he shut others out (hence domino fall once he went).#idk if he could ever have 'fixed' what was btwn him and sgd bc it was so deep rooted but I do think that his actions#helped convince sgd that sgd was entirely in the right to choose his path#mlc#edit: just went and checked the exact wording of the TL and it's actually 'you like being a hero' rather than 'you want to be the hero'#which is different but still close enough in implications for my point to stand (I think)
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been seeing too many posts insisting ford should call stan "lee" lately, i'm seconds away from writing the most jarring fic where dipper inexplicably calls mabel "belle" the entire time
#dipper is now called sone or something idk#anyway wishing folks appreciated the symbolism of their nicknames and how it's shaped around their identity as a twin.....#and how ford calling him stanley hits so much harder than anything else possibly could cos its a name he didnt use for 40 years#while constantly using different identities that entire time#and even after the truth is revealed everyone else he knows is just gonna stick to calling him stan#(other than bill and gideon of all people lmaoooo)#stan signing off his letter as 'stanley' still gets to me!!! it's important!!!!#but anyway let's analyse how the kid comic has them use 'stanley' and 'ford'#the teen scenes has them use only 'stan' and 'ford'#while the portal incident has them use 'stanley' and 'stanford'#current era has them just use a mix i'm pretty sure#also there's the whole thing about their dad referring to both of them as stan when they were growing up#that one hellman comic about the mystery twins birth still lives in my brain and defined the way i think about this#.....wait whaddya mean that comic is only 3 years old#anyway don't mind me cackling as tbob has stan call ford 'sixer' more#despite some folks insisting that the nickname is ruined forever#'am i too passionate about this one topic' i ponder despite writing like 7k of fic about this one thing#.....one of said lee posts using my fic summary was. a bit odd. but oh well
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Talk Shop Tuesday: what’s the most important thing to you when it comes to characterization?
[Sorry I am so behind on these I have been so fucking busy] CHARACTERIZATION I LOVE YOU SO. What a good question!!!!! I get compliments on my characterization a lot so I should probably think about this. Also @lazuliquetzal chime in if you want because you're just as good at this.
There's a lot of important things. The most important, I think, is that the character has consistent internal logic. It's like worldbuilding or magic. Their actions don't have to be objectively logical, but they do have to be consistent. The character has a framework for understanding the world, a way of perceiving the world and how it works, and an idea of how they think other people work. Everything that happens in their lives is filtered through that. They have to feel like a real person making real decisions, not an instrument of the plot.
Something I like to do is to make their greatest strength their greatest flaw. I think in writing there's no 'good' or 'bad' character traits - no virtues or sins. I think character traits are neutral, and that they can be used to good or bad effect. I think we do things because of other things that have happened to us, and that these things have positive and negative consequences.
Obviously a character has to have consistent motivations and to change over time. A character shouldn't end the story in the same place where they started. Character focused stories ought to have your characters change throughout the story - Sherlock Holmes doesn't have to have moments of character growth but your slice of life character definitely should. I think the setting around them really helps - giving them foils really helps develop and flesh out both characters.
I feel like that's all pretty basic notes though. For me and characters, there's way more to it than that. It's hard to explain. I think I can only ask that you make the plot and tropes fit the characters, not the characters fit the plot and tropes. Fanfic has a horrible habit of making characters one dimensional and stripping away a lot of nuance to fit in with different slots in relationship dynamic, roles in a team dynamic, or niches in an AU. The character should come first. And love of god if you make their personality seme or uke I will come find you with my yaoi baseball bat.
Oh and the best character-building exercise is to figure out if the character would ever be a cannibal or not and I am barely joking.
#i don't mean for characterization to be the most important thing in my stuff bc that's a weird thing to be important#and i do think characters should be in service of the plot#but the plot and characters should be in service to each other#idk and i think who i am as a person seeps into this#i like people a lot. i like meeting different kinds of people.#i like meeting people from every place of all walks of life of all identities and types#even people i dont like i think enrich my understanding of people as a whole#every person is so fascinating and has an entire internal world that we aren't privvy to#if we limit our world to ourselves then our life will stay small and provincial forever#a lot of my characters are based off people i know; or even different facets of myself#or they're a way of showcasing a theme or vein of emotion in life that i often confront or struggle with#many of my characters are parts of me I don't like or am ashamed of#so it's a bit healing to showcase their messiness as people; to show them growing; and to forgive them for that messiness#people are each other's greatest source of pain and only source of pleasure i think
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yesterday i finally found time to finish watching heartstopper season 3 and, as always, i've adored it! tbh there were some changes from the webtoon that left me a bit speechless (such as the ferris wheel scene with tori and charlie), but it's okay i trust alice and know they've got more wonderful stuff to look forward to in the future season(s) ~
i don't think it's just me but this show sort of feels like a warm hug, even for people like me who aren't teenagers anymore and haven't come out of the closet yet...
i'll always cherish the stories and characters created by alice oseman! sadly they weren't part of my adolescence (i would have loved reading/watching heartstopper in my teenage years, it would have been so immensely helpful), but they're helping me now that i'm in my 20s to better accept myself, among other things 𔓘
hopefully n3tfl1x will renew the show for season 4 soon !!
#4771#heartstopper#nick and charlie's story is just so real and has matured so much in the span of a three seasons#i love them so much#it's impossible for me not to yell CUTIES every time they're on screen cuddling or supporting each other#nick is so relatable btw#also i freaking love they're finally giving more screentime to tori#MY PRECIOUS TORI!!!#i do hope her storyline won't be cut or drastically changed#it's so important what the show is doing in terms of ace and aro representation#in fact i am truly enjoying isaac's arc#BUT he's both aro and ace#as a biro ace person for me personally it's CRUCIAL they get deeper into tori's identity and story#ANYGAYS#i am also hugely appreciating elle and tao's love story#been their n1 supporter since i found out about heartstopper#although i know tough times are ahead cuz in the webtoon they eventually break up#but that's OKAY#I still love them both#special mention for IMOGEN 'cause the girl is getting more and more relatable each season#wishing olivia coleman to come back for the next season#also i need to scream for the teachers little lovey dovey moments#idk what else to add#i know i'll rewatch this show for the nth time soon#queer identities#queerness#queer community#lgbtqia
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ok ive had enough of queering judaism. can we start judaizing queerness now. or something
#like. it feels like so much of this queering judaism shtus just layers an american/secular queer identity over judaism#which i guess is fine for certain communities. but it's only going to push you away from orthodoxy#and if as queer jews we already feel like our queerness makes us into secularized outsiders in our own communities#how does this help? is trying to get our communities to embrace an essentially secular american iteration of queer identity supposed to mak#us feel LESS like outsiders? it's not quite doing it for me#we need a queerness that comes from within judaism that is essentially jewish#ive seen a couple of articles recently from ppl talking abt how word/concept of butch doesnt exist in their language & culture#but they use it anyway#& like. i love being butch. it's important to me ill never give it up#& i am american too. but my whole identity as a butch he/him lesbian is exclusively secular american it came from the outsifr#which is definitely due in large part to the fact that my Gender Problems were really tied up w orthodox jewish gender roles#so naturally to get out of that i'd pull on something not jewish. but i wish there was another option? idk if that's possible#or how it would look#maybe that's why im obsessed w the idea of a butch w long curly payos.... 😦#i forgot where i was going w this but yeah it's frustrating#this is a large part of why im wary of starting a queer Jewish club on campus bc the people who would wanna start it w mr#well no offense but they are insufferable about this#(incidentally they're also insufferable about chanukah. no surprises there)#op#jew blogging#others have Actually written abt all this tho
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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????
#my dad is like#you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then#and im like bhai what#mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me#both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me#mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and#the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff#i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself#because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want#im so tired man#why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it 😭🙏#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these#complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off#people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path#have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories#and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at#atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry#but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything#ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me#i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and#untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends#i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made#i didn't understand anything back then#but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something#ive prayed to god that you die and i still do#it would directly mean 4 people being happy#anyway#dni#this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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Oughhhhh the Flowering….. oughhhhh (holds it in my hands)
#idk if I'll ever finish writing it. it would take so long. but I'm so obsessed with it#literally my dream fanfic and I'm finally writing it#jumps up and down. screams. cries. kicks my feet.#a big multi-chapter flowey-centric fic where his friendship with papyrus is important that talks about his identity and emotions and… aaaaaa#aaaaagh#my favourite my favourite been planning it for years and it means the world to me#*points at Flowey* this goat has traumaaaa#the most recent chapter I posted…. they just want to make each other happy because they're both anxious 🥺🥺#six obsesses over her own writing time
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i am so used to my pinned post i kinda don't want to change the format but i want to
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#Like. i want it to be more ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 u get me?#it's too small/limiting for me rn ragggghhh ..... will change it soon ^_^ 💖#wow. hard to believe it's already june. 4-5ish months till i'm not a minor anymore and around 2 months till college#happy pride btw :3 Hm. i am still not out to my parents but i am vv comfortable now w who i am.#i know for sure i prefer short hair over long hair and hate when it gets past this certain length that i then need a haircut#and i've actually grown comfortable wearing dresses and skirts! which ngl has been there a bit since i watched hamilton#but only now ?? like. Yeah.#it's funny bcs when i had shorter hair than my short hair rn LMFAO it was shorter than i actually liked#but the perks were my friends telling me You Look Like A Guy Even More and some storeclerk calling me sir#but that was funny bcs i was w my twin. and ok we're identical but maybe not obvious at first bcs i wear glasses and they have slightly more#femme and long hair and her style is diff from mine. colorful or bright or maximalist vs minimalist or dark or max 3 tones same colorsalways#LMFAO. me & my twin r super comfy w each other so sometimes we make Jokes. uh. yeah. HELP?#if u get it than yaaaa B) o/ anyway yeah. also comfortable w small amts of makeup now!#if it looks natural enough i'm cool w it :3 i also like stylistic shit. but haven't tried that stuff yet <3#i just hate makeup in general when it is too much that you don't look like yourself anymore... unless it's Cool#IDK HWO TO EXPLAIN. whatever it's not important. <3#ouuughhh i love my new pompompurin stuffed toy... official from sanrio in japan hehehehehehhe#i like making it do stupid shit like eating my soup or mochi and i like using it to tell my mom stuff like#pompompurin thinks you suck (jokingly. i love my mom she knows how i am!)#so she says back pompomsometbinv tell your amo (owner?) she sucks more LMFAOOO#also. just. fhsbkfjd official merch... >___< we were supposed to head back to our hotelwtvr after gpinf to alihabara#akihabara** but while waiting to reload the card thing. i spotted the official yostar store and :)) YAY#so got a little standee. for arknights. 1 for me 1 for my twin but it's gachafied and the fucking. thing. is.#every chara u cld get was basically a fav of mine ESP. TEQUILA. HOLY FUCK. MY ABSOLUTE JOY SEEING HIM.#but the two we got... were both my my Twin's favs... who i also like but. they are Not my faves. :)#so apparently just in general my gacha luck really sucks.#even w the gbf pins. artemis managed to get BELIAL and then for me uhh. ok we got 1 for a surprise gift for a friend#they r not active on tumblr atm i think so shhh anyway so basically anyway. i cld have gotten sandalphon. or other ppl. and i got two charas#i DO like but... more are arti's favs than mine still..... haha. at least w the ffxiv coasters we had equal luck. Amazing luck.
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Also Mafuyu birthday uhhhh smth smth cheesy post abt how meaningful and important their story is to me and how much it means to me that they exist or whatever
#rat rambles#sekai posting#in all seriousness they are like. legitimately rly important to me and theyre also just like. rly rly well written.#like you rly get the sense of their internal world vs the more tangable reality of their situation#it showcases the contrast between what feels like emptiness when youre depressed and the clear pain youre in in reality#and also I love how its clear when you actually pay an ounce of attention that mafuyu is a painfully compassionate person#because again like Ive said before it hits so so close to home of my own struggles with identity and this is the first media that has rly#reached me in that way like I cannot overstate how much mafuyu reminds me on my past self#they just feel so. real to me. and I love how gradual their development has been along with how its effecting other parts of their life#because yeah once you start to learn to actually express yourself it can become a lot harder to put the act back on#and just idk Im kinda all over the place just. happy bday mafuyu u mean more to me than I could ever properly express#I will defend u with my life
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Thinking about my desire for a mistaken identity time travel fic where Obito and Sasuke get tossed into the warring states, but bc Sasuke looks like an Izuna clone and Obito for some reason gets the wild hair look back, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna.
Notably, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna as they are in the middle of attempting to beat the ever-loving shit out of eachother.
And because Obito likes causing problems for Madara and Sasuke shrimply does not give a fuck and might even appreciate the fake identity alibi, they do nothing to actually deny the mistaken identity. Obito actually encourages it, usually by loudly agreeing with whoever shouts "omg its Uchiha Madara" as he lights shit on fire.
Anything to cause the real Madara more problem, right? Karma, bitch aa
He actually wants to cut his hair short again but the temptation of getting to continue to ruin Madara's reputation is too good, so he doesnt
ANYWAYS. Thinking about all of the above again w the context of my "Kakashi is related to and bears a resemblance to Tobirama" agenda thats been steadily growing in like. Actually, I think almost every Kakashi fic Ive written so far (oops)
Maybe I want Kakashi in this now. Maybe I'm also thinking about Tenzo, who got the same "oh for some strange reason my hair is longer now" treatment as Obito and with the Mokuton, can now be mistake as Hashirama by those who have never seen him. Or even people who have seen him but logically assume he's wearing a henge.
There's only one known man with the power of Mokuton-- why would the ever believe it wasn't Hashirama (unless they were close enough to the man to truly doubt it on a personal level)
I have no real ideas for an overarching plot, but like. Obito, Sasuke, Kakashi and Tenzo mistaken identity time travel my beloved,,
Kakashi and Tenzo traveled + landed together and Obito and Sasuke did the same so neither group is aware of the other
(Kakashi and Obito eventually figure it out bc of the shared eye connection I think)
But in the mean time they actually keep managing to avoid each other bc they'll hear rumors ab "Uchiha Madara" being spotted in the town over (Obito continues to be very loud about it very on purpose) and then avoid going there, while Sasuke hears the same, figures its Obito, and sprints over to try and bash his face in
Obito finally eventually gets cornered by Kakashi, Tenzo, and Sasuke and gets his shit rocked fr fr send tweet
Sasuke and Kakashi bonding moment(s) where we tackle the uhh. Everything. Of canon. And Sasuke gives Kakashi a crumb of respect back or smthn
Idk but I just want to see Sasuke call him sensei, don't ask me how we'd get there
Meanwhile when they're finally like, exposed or whatever there's just SUCH a mess there to be had
I'm choosing Uchiha Hikaku as my first contact bc I love him dearly and think he serves as good middleground between ranks of importance and relevance
So like. Picture this.
You are Hikaku. You're sent out to investigate some rumors about Madara and Izuna fucking shit up and causing a general mess some ways away. A henge, a slander campaign, the real Madara-sama is sure.
You get there and find 3 people fighting.
(Obito, Kakashi and Tenzo's first interaction. It's tense. They may all come from the final battle, after Obito changed his mind, but there were a lot of things left unsaid and also they all probably just wanna beat the shit out of eachother anyways. Things happen, things are said, a fight is had)
Two of them bear a passing resemblance to Madara and Tobirama respectively, and the 3rd has the look of a Senju to him.
Ok. So, Senju slander campaign? Gone... wrong, he'd assume by the fact that they were all fighting.
You then recognize that the fake Madara has mismatched eyes (!!!! What the fuck !!! Culturally significant thing there !! Was he born like that? Was it a transplant?)
And the fake Tobirama(?) has a whole stolen sharingan he seems to be ACTIVLEY using (WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! SOUND THE ALARMS!!!!! BLOODLINE THIEF ALERT !!!!!!!!)
You debate between just watching or entering the fight, but then the fake Tobirama makes some sort of reference to his sharingan eye belonging to the fake Madara's.
All thoughts come to a screeching halt.
Ok. So. Gonna get involved now.
There's a clear side here (Uchiha vs potential Senju) Hikaku can not leave his clanmate to die, and he doesn't yet know how he might have been involved in the slander campaign so it's honestly best to put this guy in his pocket and bring him back to Madara anyways
So Hikaku enters the battle, everyone makes appropriate shocked pikachu faces bc no one noticed him and aw shit it's gonna get more complicated, cool, awesome, great
(Also note; Hikaku became the eventual Uchiha head after Madara's defection so there's also a "oh shit no way" reaction from Obito specifically who knows this information. And also maybe Kakashi who I imagine knows a lot of Konoha's history and politics)
Battle continues, Tenzo uses Mokuton, Hikaku gets appropriately freaked the FUCK out at the idea of another mokuton user
Then Sasuke comes crashing out of nowhere , yay !!!
(Kakashi and Tenzo, who did not know Sasuke was here yet and are only seeing him for the first time, make more surprised pikachu faces)
Sasuke, who... possibly knew Kakashi and Tenzo were around and may have been avoiding them, wanting to signal that for now at least they were all on the same side (against Obito) nods to Kakashi specifically and gives a tense and sort of stilted, "sensei."
SO. HIKAKU IS KIND OF GOING THROUGH IT OVER HERE NOW.
Sasuke is a dead fucking wringer for Izuna in the way that only a direct relation can be. I'm talking they could absoloutley pass for twins kind of relation. Worst of all, they look around the same age (Sasuke is only a few years younger)
Hikaku is no longer fighting with a strange Uchiha against Senju agents he's now fighting with an Uchiha against another Uchiha (who's a dead wringer for his clan heir !!!!) He does not know who to believe or what side to exist on.
(Had this false Izuna called the fake Tobirama sensei? Oh god—)
Things happen, whether they lose or escape I don't know but it ends with an incredibly confused and concerned Hikaku returning to the Uchiha clan compound with tales of bloodline theft, another mokuton user, and horrifically— A possible sibling, lost and raised by the senju in secret.
Yeah. So. Madara won't react well to that. Madara won't react well to that at all.
(Izuna won't either, in the slightest. Does... does he have a twin...? Did he have a twin once, lost too early for their parents to bear to tell them...?)
It's incredibly hard for the Senju to deny any involvement when Hikaku has sharingan perfect memories to share of the fake-Izuna (Sasuke, they had called him Sasuke) standing side by side with a man who resembles Tobirama and another who is very fucking clearly using Mokuton. And that's "very fucking clearly using mokuton" seen by someone who has SEEN mokuton used in battle. Multiple times. He will not mistake it for anything else.
Anyways oops sorry for creating a horrible political scandal and also probably making the Uchiha/Senju wore like 10 times more charged teehee </3
(Obito doesn't give a shit. Sasuke swings violently between caring both too little and too much depending on the hour of the day and how the issue is framed. Kakashi and Tenzo are.... distracted. And undecided. And care about this issue from an "aw shit but Konoha wait no—" view point)
Ummmmm anyways endgame Konoha is made early (but possibly with a bit more blood involved) and Hikaku is made Hokage bc I fucking love Hikaku, yay the end !!!
#birds fic talk#had to link to the vault fic chapter instead of the actual post bc I cant fucking find it#thanks tumblr#naruto au#obito uchiha#uchiha obito#sasuke uchiha#uchiha sasuke#hatake kakashi#kakashi hatake#madara uchiha#uchiha madara#izuna uchiha#uchiha izuna#uchiha hikaku#hikaku uchiha#kakashi#time travel#tenzo#tenzo yamato#yamato tenzo#sasuke#obito
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How exactly is being otherkin any different than being transracial by idea? I’m not pro-transracial, but I can’t really formulate an argument on where the difference is and why one is okay while the other isn’t
The difference, in my opinion at least, basically comes down to the fact that race and ethnicity are things other real people deal with and which have big cultural impact for a lot of people; species is not. You can't hurt theriform wolves by identifying as a wolf because wolves are not people and are not aware of any of this. Dragons may be people depending on the dragon, but they don't exist physically in this world to have an opinion. You can, however, hurt people of color by identifying as transethnicity and approaching it in a disrespectful way.
And I say it that way because if I'm honest, transethnicity is one of those transIDs where I'm... a little torn on it. I can understand the feelings and experiences they're describing, but I struggle to find a way to engage with the idea of being transethnicity that isn't going to wind up being racist in one way or another. And while I haven't exactly spent a ton of time in radqueer/transID spaces, when I've gone into their tags and such to do a little research on them, I have overwhelmingly seen transethnicity people being kind of if not extremely racist about it. The experiences are not inherently harmful, but it's really easy to slide into engaging with those experiences in a way that's harmful.
And yet... in this community we have, for example, fictionkin whose fictotypes are a different race than them all the time, and sometimes that's very important to who their fictotype is and how they view the world. And that works out fine. I think the primary difference is that fictionkin are generally expected to acknowledge that they're not a part of that group in the present and can't speak on the group's issues or experiences as if they were, whereas the minute you put a trans- label onto the word, the expectation is that you should be treating a trans[x] person as if they're [x]. (And if it's not, then... why are you calling it trans- anything to begin with when that's what trans- means in an identity context?)
So, I do genuinely believe that they're having these experiences, but... idk, there has to be a better way to frame and engage with those experiences. I don't know what that is, but it's got to be out there somewhere, though it may not be a one-size-fits-all answer. (And maybe there's a transID community out there that's found it, I don't know.)
Anyway, open invitation for POC to give their thoughts on this, since they've probably got better-constructed ones than me; if I'm honest, I haven't spent all that much time thinking about this issue. I think about it on and off here and there when it comes up and then it gives me a headache so I move on.
#otherkin#rani talks#asked and answered#anonymous#my opinion on transid stuff kind of boils down to just#50% of it is 'do you know you're allowed to just want things?' (transoccupation; transhaircolor; etc)#30% of it is 'you are almost certainly not trans[x] you're just [x] and are gatekeeping yourself/enshrining questioning doubt -#- as part of your identity instead of getting over it' (for the last time you cannot be transotherkin. you're just otherkin. it's okay)#(see also transplural and a lot of transabled)#10% of it is 'oh my gods you should under no circumstances be making that part of your identity' (transharmful; transabuser)#and 10% of it is this 'your experiences are real but there's gotta be a better way to engage with them than this' (transethnicity; transage#a LOT of it is just... why do you feel the need to put EVERY aspect of yourself through a trans lens#it doesn't have to be trans to be valid. you can just want things. in some cases you can just Be Things#anyway. that's my ramble for the day#transid#transethnicity#i am intentionally using that term preferentially bc i know transrace can mean something non-transid#just for the record on why i made that change from your original phrasing#anyway. brace for 48 hours of arguing about radqueer stuff in my notes and inbox o7
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