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spncompostheap · 1 year ago

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These Days

(Inspired by Misha Collins’s poem of the same title)

Cas Novak meets Dean Winchester two weeks after his sixth birthday in first grade. Having never been terribly good at making friends, Seeing Dean on the first day of school inspires Cas to try getting it right that much harder this time. Although their friendship starts off a bit rocky due to Dean’s general unfriendliness, Cas quickly learns that Dean’s whole tough guy routine is mostly just a cover for his overwhelming shyness.

One day during lunchtime, when Cas tracks Dean down on the playground, he is unsurprised to find the other boy sitting alone. With a rehearsed monologue playing inside his head, Cas musters up the courage to approach Dean, hoping to convince him why they should be friends.

After reciting the words under his breath a few more times, he approaches Dean. He almost misses what the other boy is doing until they're suddenly face to face.

“Hello, Dean, I’m Cas Novak and-”

When Cas looks up to greet his potential new friend, his broad smile fades quickly upon realizing that Dean is elbow-deep in the trash can, trying to snag someone else's sandwich. Dean ducks his head, clearly embarrassed, until Cas offers his lunch box as an alternative.

“Here, have mine,” Cas says.

“Dad always packs me too much, anyway. Or at least that's why Mom says I’m getting so fat-”

“You're not fat, Cas,” Dean says, his voice unexpectedly gentle as he peeks inside Cas’s lunch box.

“But this is a lot of food… Could we maybe share it?”

“Certainly, Dean,” Cas says, scooting up close next to the other boy.

Together, they share peanut butter fluff sandwiches and Capri Suns and talk about comic books for the rest of recess. From that day on, Cas brings food for himself and Dean to share every day, and before long, the two have become inseparable.

***

Third grade is challenging for Cas when his parents’ marriage abruptly falls apart without warning. By mid-November, the yelling, screaming, and slamming of doors gets so intense that Cas is beside himself over how to cope. Sneaking around the kitchen at night, Cas steals as much food as he can carry. Eating becomes the only thing that helps him feel more in control, calming some of his inner chaos, if only temporarily.

For the next few months, whenever his parents' arguing becomes too loud, Cas goes on autopilot, and his stomach becomes a black hole until he’s so full that his worries evaporate. Soon, Cas’s mindless eating becomes a nightly occurrence. But even when whole loaves of bread, jugs of milk, and cereal boxes go missing overnight, no one seems the wiser.

By Springtime, everyone in Mr. MacLeod’s class notices how chubby Cas is getting and feels the need to point it out to him. Dean is the only one who focuses on the more subtle changes in his friend's behavior, like how uncharacteristically quiet, sad, and withdrawn he’s become.

As time passes, Dean becomes increasingly determined to help his friend and invites Cas over to his house after school. The two spend hours watching movies, playing video games, and enjoying each other's company. Dean is relieved that Cas doesn't comment about his small, dingy apartment or complain about his younger brother Sammy constantly being underfoot. Dean is relieved when he sees Cas starting to relax a little until John comes home early and ruins everything.

"Jesus, Dean, can’t you do any better than hanging out with this fat loser all the time?" John slurs, hovering in the doorway and reeking of alcohol.

Biting down hard on his lower lip, Dean feels caught in the middle. While he wants to defend Cas, he's also keenly aware that any kind of talking back will make matters worse. He knows firsthand what a mean drunk John can be.

Cas looks down and remains silent, but Dean can see the hurt in his eyes. Slowly standing up, Dean feels a surge of anger and wants to say something - anything that might make Cas feel safe again. Instead of lashing out, Dean turns to Cas and watches him closely. At the first sign of tears, Dean realizes there's nothing he can even do because the damage is already done.

After a tense moment, John grumbles something unintelligible and retreats to his room, leaving Dean and Cas alone once more. Dean sighs, feeling a mix of frustration and sadness. He hates seeing Cas treated this way, especially in his own home. Turning to Cas, he offers an apologetic look.

"I'm really sorry about that, Cas," Dean says softly.

"It's okay, Dean. I'm used to it. My mom says the same kind of things all the time."

They stop hanging out as much after the incident with John, but Dean remains fiercely protective of Cas at school. It becomes widely known all across the playground that anyone caught teasing Cas about anything will have to deal with Dean personally.

***

Although his parents officially separate at the end of fifth grade, Cas’s appetite only gains momentum over the summer. Snacking almost non-stop from June through August, Cas is officially the biggest kid in middle school by the time fall hits.

On the first day of sixth grade, Cas gets bullied in the cafeteria about his ever-expanding waistline.

"Hey, piggy-piggy, did you eat the entire lunch lady today?" Gordon Walker says, oinking and grunting in Cas’s direction.

Cas tries to brush it off, but Gordon physically blocks his path, so Cas can’t walk away.

"He’s almost too fat to function," Kubrick Jones says, grinning like an idiot while all the other kids giggle.

Feeling embarrassed, Cas retreats to the boy’s bathroom to be alone. Dean notices his absence almost immediately and goes looking for him. When Dean finds him, Cas has locked himself inside a bathroom stall and is already bordering on inconsolable.

"Please, tell me what's wrong?" Dean asks, leaning in close enough that their foreheads touch.

"Everyone’s making fun of me, Dean," Cas says softly, averting his eyes to tug down the hem of his t-shirt self-consciously.

"You can’t let them get to you like that, man. They're all just assholes who thrive on being as mean as possible," Dean says, wrapping an arm around his friend.

"And besides, I like your new look; you're kind of turning into a tank," Dean says, smiling.

"I mean it, seriously, Cas. You're so damn sturdy these days, I bet nothing can stop you."

Cas looks up, surprised by Dean’s words. He had always believed that his weight made him weak, but hearing Dean's reframing of things fills him with a newfound sense of empowerment.

"You really think so?" Cas asks, the hint of a smile flickering across his face.

"I know so," Dean says, pulling Cas into a quick hug.

"You're my best friend, and I wouldn't want you any other way."

Cas feels way more confident in his skin for the rest of that year. He doesn't let the bullies' words bring him down anymore, and he even occasionally starts standing up for himself.

***

Once his parent’s divorce is finalized in eighth grade, Cas's dad, Chuck, attempts to reconnect with him using fast food, baked goods, and candy to win his son's affection. Always encouraging Cas to overindulge whenever they spend time together, what begins as a novelty quickly loses its appeal.

One day after school, Chuck drives them both to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Cas hesitates, getting out of the car, remembering how much he’s already eaten, but doesn’t want to disappoint his dad. Looping around the restaurant, Cas loads up his tray with a mountain of french fries, chicken strips, and miniature desserts. But the moment he sits down beside his father, Chuck's mood changes as he looks over at his son and frowns.

"Don't tell your mother I let you pig out so much, okay? She won't let me hear the end of it about how fat you're getting," Chuck says.

Cas feels a pang of hurt inside his chest; he already knows he’s overweight without Dad reminding him. He just wants to enjoy this time together without being made to feel guilty about something beyond his control.

"Sure thing," Cas says while shoveling food into his mouth.

"Have you ever considered going out for any sports, Cas?" Chuck asks, his tone filled with misguided concern.

"Sports?" Cas asks, tilting his head to the side out of confusion.

"Yeah, you know, like football, basketball, soccer? You'd probably be pretty good at it once if you slimmed down a bit.” Chuck suggests.

"Umm, I guess so," Cas mumbles, looking down at his suddenly empty plate. Despite feeling uncomfortably full and the painful sensation of elastic biting into his waist, Cas forces himself to stand. Because maybe just one more serving, regardless of what will distract him from the unpleasantness of their conversation.

As they finish their meal and leave the restaurant, Chuck nods, pleased with himself for offering his son such valuable advice. Meanwhile, Cas can't shake off the feeling that he failed to meet expectations again. Longing for a simple way to make his dad proud that's not contingent on his physical appearance.

***

Cas becomes increasingly fixated on his size and appearance. He spends numerous afternoons at the library, immersing himself in research about nutrition, diet, and weight loss, desperately hoping to uncover some way to shrink himself just enough to impress his dad. Unfortunately, the more Cas learns, the more overwhelmed and discouraged he becomes. Finally, the information overload of conflicting advice leaves him spiraling into a destructive cycle of binge eating and shame.

Cas surrenders to his cravings without restraint, seeking the comfort only food can provide. Before long, he’s outgrown most of his wardrobe, and seeing his own reflection fills him with dread. The person staring back at him has become an unrecognizable stranger, constantly reminding him of his failures and everything he hates about himself. As his body continues to expand without consent, Cas’s self-esteem suffers a devastating blow. Consumed by a profound sadness and despair, he withdraws completely, unable to face his dad, let alone anyone else.

Despite all of this, Dean refuses to give up on their friendship. When Cas stops answering his calls, Dean knows something is wrong. So, armed with the spare house key given to him for emergencies, he takes matters into his own hands. Showing up uninvited, Dean forces his way into Cas’s personal space. Ignoring how much his friend has changed, Dean snuggles beside Cas under the covers of his bed. They lay together in the darkness, not saying a word, every day after school for a week.

Eventually, when Cas does find his voice enough to speak, Dean listens without judgment, trying to understand the depths of his friends' grief. After another week of hiding in bed, Dean gently suggests they go outside.

“Because it’s springtime out there, Cas and all the flowers and birds are doing their thing, and I know how much you used to enjoy it.”

"I don't know, Dean,” Cas says, unsure if he's ready to face the outside world again.

Dean looks at Cas reassuringly and says, "Hey man, I get it. Shit can be scary, but I'll be right there with you. Who knows, maybe trying something new will make you feel better."

After a moment of contemplation, Cas nods slowly. "Okay, but please understand if I need to return inside."

With Dean by his side, Cas finds the strength to leave his room and go for short walks outside. Cas notices a subtle change in his mood with each step they take. The fresh air and gentle movement help him feel a little better each day.

#supernatural fanfiction #destiel #deancas #wip #tw disordered eating #tw: implied/ referenced alcohol abuse/ alcoholism #dean winchester #cas novak #childhood friends

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storytellersumayyah · 2 years ago

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and grief said goodbye

tw: implied disordered eating, implied/referenced past suicide attempt, negative self image

Tristan could count on his hands the number of real conversations he’d had with his parents since the fire. Most of them had taken place after he walked away from Camilla- and even just thinking of her name made his heart hurt- because they had wanted to know everything. They had accused him of being involved, and that had stung more than anything else. Once they went back to the manor, the conversations centred on his new school.

And after he started, they stopped. Almost completely.

He left before his parents showed their faces. When he returned, he went straight to his room to do his work, and he never saw them in the living room working together. They would eat dinner together, but words were never exchanged. And their seats had changed. Victoria sat at the head. James on her right. Tristan two seats away. He knew why they still sat together. No matter how much his parents hated him for what he served as a reminder of, they would not let him get physically worse.

It made him angrier than if they had just left.

When they did speak, it was short sentences. Brief questions. One word answers. Victoria never called him by his name. James never called him Laurie. He never reminded them of what they were supposed to be for him. His father, who had once been grateful that Tristan was there, if only so his wife remembered they were married, seemed like he couldn’t wait for Tristan to leave. His mother didn’t even acknowledge his presence enough to despise it.

He didn’t ask them for anything. When he got an email saying his bank statement was ready to view, he took a deep breath and opened it. The balance had increased. The money was from James. Not Victoria.

He didn’t ask for anything because he would not be given it, and everything he needed, he worked out himself.

But there was something he couldn’t do alone. No matter how many hours he spent trawling the internet, no matter how much research he did, he couldn’t find the information. Anywhere. It was like the details had been wiped. For all he knew, they probably had.

He needed to ask.

So he waited. Until his mother switched on him again. Until his father called him Laurie. Until they asked what the letter had said. Until they told him they had filled in the documents for his college loans. Until they did something. But they didn’t.

He had stared death in the eye once and he had lived.

Maybe he could do it again.

“I need to talk to Mr Carter,” he announced at dinner.

Both his parents stopped eating.

“No,” James said, completely flat.

“It’s important.”

“I don’t care how important it is, we are not communicating with that man ever again,” Victoria snapped. She hadn’t recovered. She blamed Mr Carter for what happened more than she blamed Camilla. In her eyes, Camilla was just a girl. Mr Carter had encouraged and aided her project and nothing would undo that. Not even the testimony he had delivered in front of everyone who mattered, vouching for them.

“I need him.”

“You don’t,” James said. It was sharper. Almost like he knew what Mr Carter had been to his son.

But Tristan did. Mr Carter told him that he’d taken certain information from everyone’s files before they physical ones were destroyed in the fire and the digital ones as a result of the closure. He said if there was ever anything they needed, he would tell them.

He had sent the photographs taken at the dance a few months after Christmas. Tristan had hidden them from his parents. He’d told himself he would destroy them, but someone had captured the moment Camilla lit up as she told him how things had changed. And in that photo, he was smiling.

That was the version of them he wanted to remember. So he kept them all.

“I need him to tell Camilla-“

“You will not mention that girl if you want to stay here,” Victoria cut in.

“Mom. Please. Just this once. I just- I need him to tell her, I need him to try and tell her that I was wrong. That it was never her fault. And I shouldn’t have said it was. Because it wasn’t. It wasn’t because she is good and she is loving and I forgive her for what happened because my actions were not her fault and she needs to let go of the fear because it doesn’t deserve and-“ he took a deep breath.

“Tristan?” James kept his voice level.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But I need her to know. Please.”

“Tristan,” Victoria said.

“Mom. Please. I will never bring either of them up again. Please.”

She didn’t reply.

“Dad,” he whispered, trying to remind his father of who they used to be.

“Tristan.” Victoria said his name again. Tristan hated it. His name felt like a death sentence. A prophecy he was doomed to fulfil. Sadness. That was his name.

“Please,” he tried, one last time.

“Just this once, I will allow it.”

He couldn’t believe her. “What? Why?”

“Because you need it. Because Camilla does as well. Because that is a heavy thing to carry. Because you have forgiven yourself, and you have forgiven her, and she deserves to know. Because nobody deserves to feel guilty or ashamed when they did the best they could,” Victoria said, and she looked at James as she gave her final reason. James looked down. Tristan knew they were both thinking of the summer, and sentences they couldn’t take back.

“Because you are our son. And this is the only thing you have asked us for since you came back,” James added.

Even though the manor was not home, and even though it wasn’t enough to make up for any of their mistakes, Tristan smiled.

And in that moment, grief wandered out of his room.

Two weeks later, and an ocean away, Camilla unlocked the front door to her first and real home with a deep sigh. Things at school were still tense and she was growing tired of it. She hadn’t been able to warn anyone she was returning, which had led to a mix of reactions, but Ari was trying her best, even as she kept him at arms length.

She’d broken him once. She wouldn’t do it again. Not after Tristan.

But there was no time to think of Tristan. Her A-Levels were just around the corner (well, they were a few months away, but same difference) and she needed Cambridge more than they needed her. Which meant meeting her grade requirements as a bare minimum.

She was going to go straight to her room, but then her mother called her from the living room. She had been so caught up in wondering what had happened to Tristan- she sometimes wished she had his number, but it would’ve killed her if he’d blocked it so perhaps it was for the best- that she hadn’t even noticed the pair of shoes next to hers.

She went into the living room. Her mum was sitting on the sofa, phone in her hands.

“Hey mama.”

“How was school?” She asked, almost nervously.

Camilla shrugged, awkwardly standing in the doorway. Her parents had forgiven her for her role to play in Tristan’s downfall. They had forgiven her for her role to play in the destruction that was caused. She would forever be grateful that they didn’t hate her, and forever scared that she would never be good enough to make them forget.

“I received a message today. From Mr Carter.”

Everything around her froze. Mr Carter had helped her. He had wiped away the tears that spilt on her eighteenth birthday. He had read her personal statement and had faith in her and told Tristan to run and let her slip away. But he had also broken her. She had cried the first time Mr Kennedy told her it was okay she got something so easy wrong because she was convinced he would call her stupid. He had knelt down before her and the image still terrified her.

She never wanted to hear from him again. The photo of her and Tristan, both realising they could be soft and accept who they were, was tucked away in her room, but that was the only thing from him she would keep. All the lessons he taught, all the lies he told, she would forget.

“What did he say?”

“Tristan-“ and that name still hurt but she couldn’t let her mother know how much they had meant to each other so she just kept her face as neutral as she could, which wasn’t very but it had to be enough.

Her mother wasn’t continuing.

“Tristan?”

“I don’t understand what it means. But Mr Carter said that Tristan needs you to know that it wasn’t your fault, and it was never your fault. He said he crossed a line when he told you it was and he’s sorry.”

Camilla did something she hadn’t done in what felt like a lifetime.

She cried in front of her mother.

She couldn’t help it. But she had been carrying the secret since she returned. Her parents hadn’t heard the conversation. Jonathan and Adelaide had assumed he was acting on pure emotion, but Camilla had heard the things he wasn’t saying. She had heard the way it was more than just a way to hurt her. She had heard the belief.

To know it was false, that he hadn’t meant it, that it was never real, convinced her that she could be good again. She could be soft. She could move on.

And so could he.

But then her mother did something that she hadn’t done in a lifetime either.

She stood up, and she walked over to her daughter.

And she hugged her.

And she didn’t let go, even as Camilla’s knees gave out because of the pure relief she was filled with.

“Come on babu. Just let it go. It’s okay.”

She didn’t bother wiping the tears away. Camilla needed them.

When she calmed down enough to talk, she sighed and pulled away slightly. “Can you tell him I said thank you?”

Her mother’s initial review of Mr Carter had been glowing, but when Camilla accidentally let slip that he had called her a stupid girl, she became his biggest hater. So it was a long shot, but she nodded and Camilla smiled.

It was the first real one since they’d come back, and for her mother, it was like watching her baby’s milestone all over again.

“Do you see what this means? Tristan has forgiven himself. He has forgiven you. Your father and I have forgiven you too. All that is left is for you to forgive yourself. You are allowed to do that Camilla. I promise.”

Camilla nodded. “I know I can.”

And for once, she wasn’t lying. She forgave herself, on the floor of her living room. In the original uniform she was meant to wear. With her mother, in her shalwar kameez because she didn’t let anyone take anything from her, hugging her.

And in that moment, grief walked out her front door.

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#sumayyah writes #the heartbreaker's handbook #tw implied disordered eating #tw referenced past suicide attempt #tw negative self image #story #short story #oc #original character #original writing #original story #this is what i have done instead of my tutorial work! slay!#grief walks out of their homes by the way #this was so much fun #love you all #this is a step towards their happy endings <3

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wangxianficfinder · 2 months ago

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Fic Finder

Dec 3rd

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1. I’m looking for a specific fic. It’s was on ao3. It’s book cannon compliant but from LWJ perspective. It’s less than 15 chapters (I think 11 is the number but I’m only 60% sure on that) (unless they’ve added more for the special chapters).

Thank you for the work you do ❤️💙 @smnthncl

FOUND? 🔒 The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, WangXian, Minor canon divergence, Angst, POV LWJ, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, semi-verbal!LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide) might be this one, although it has more chapters than mentioned

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2. Hi! I recently noticed one of the fics I had bookmarked has been deleted and I, foolishly, had not downloaded it! I suppose i was hopeful someone might have a copy, if the author is okay with it. (Though if I recall, it was either an orphaned work or by Anonymous, so not sure how that would work!)

It was a fic where wwx is an artist and lwj is a famous musician. He commissions art from wwx for his album and then hires wwx to give his son, lan yuan, art lessons at his home on this huge CR compound kind of thing. They cook for each other and lwj writes a song for him and they fall in love! (I think there was a small sequel about food too.)

The name of the fic is escaping me entirely! If anyone has copies they are willing to share, I would much appreciate it. @annerbhp

FOUND? I believe #2 might be 'light travels faster than sound' (Anonymous). It's been deleted but it's on the wayback machine (https://archiveofourown.org/works/27328495?view_full_work=true&view_adult=true) The sequel about food's also there too (https://archiveofourown.org/works/29110269?view_adult=true&view_full_work=true)

Number 2 is definitely “light travels faster than sound” by Fruitys (now deleted) - I dl’d it when I read it but if you would like options that have the same vibes I can recommend: “paint smears on sunny days” tho lwj is not a musician, and “Sonata, Acrylic on Canvas” in which LWJ is a music student & WWX is an art student

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3. looking for a fic i read a while ago where wei wuxian is a voice actor/barista living in a little new england town and lan wangji is an author looking for inspiration who moves to the town with his little son lan yuan, and wei wuxian is disabled after an accident on a movie set when he was 16/17

FOUND? Ornaments Under the Stars by trippednfell (M, 62k, wangxian, Modern, Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies, the wangxian Hallmark Movie AU no one asked for, plot and title were randomly generated, Kidfic, Disabled Character, debilitating injury as substitute for missing golden core, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Angst with a Happy Ending, Guest starring Lan Zhan’s sky blue coat, The Coat deserves its own tag, disordered eating habits - not a major plot point, WIP)

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4. Hi! This is fic finder. A little warning, this fic is R-18. There was a war between the wen and lan (i dont remember if its with lan only or with other clan too). WWX is the wen general. Because of him, LXC's golden core gets crushed by WZL. That makes LWJ hates WWX. And then WRH died and WC (I dont remember if its WX or WC) send WWX and others as a "bed warmer" (Sex slave) to lan. But only WWX that are treated worse because he was suspected as WRH killer. LXC tells LWJ to be kind to WWX, but LWJ is consumed by his hatred did not kind to WWX. WWX is sent to the lan, bounded with talisman and some object insertion locked with talisman. I dont remember how, but the jin sent someone to lan to "teach" WWX to became a good bed warmer. It was cruel. At first LWJ ignored the cruelness because of his ignorance but after he knows, he put stop of that. I think the wen invite the lans ro attend something to qishan. Thats all i think. I honestly dont remember what tag i used to find this fic in the past. Thanks @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

FOUND!🔒Captive Prince by Aquadrazi (E, 19k, WangXian, LXC/JGY, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Angst, Slow Burn, Implied Sexual Content, Explicit Sexual Content, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Torture, Accidental Voyeurism, Voyeurism, Public Sex, Sexual Slavery, Bondage, Dom/sub, Top JGY, Top LWJ, Bottom LXC, Bottom WWX, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Crack, Not Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe, Smut, Shameless Smut, Sex Magic, Orgasm Denial, Forced Orgasm, WangXian Endgame, Hurt/Comfort)

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5. Hi! Can you help find this fic for me? All i remember is a scene, lan zhan is wandering the world and when he arrives back home, lan xichen is waiting at the gates and lz thinking something like ' my brother has aged' he has white hairs etc. But lan zhan didn't change, didn't age a day, may be immortal?

Thank you so much💙

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6. Hey if you really don't mind, I have a favor to ask! Some trying ro fina a banger fic tht I cannot remember the name of foe the life of me. O read a lot of fics so it's a struggle. It's about Wei Wuxian being disowned by the Jiangs in the modern day bc he started dating lwj on a bet (jc bet that lwj would say yes if he asked him out and wwx was like "no way" And so he did and lwj said yes ofc) they then turn into boyfriends and jin zixun reveals to lwj that wwx only started dating him on a bet. This severely hurts lwj and angers everyone around him, to the point that madame yu just disowned wwx, leaving him no contact with anyone anymore. He becomes homeless and struggles a lot (including a traumatic dick sucking for money) and ends up being adopted by the Wens at a cafe. He stays there for 13 years, (while also attending classes I think) until lwj (who is now a famous musician) comes in for a tea 13 years later. They meet up, fall back in love, and clear up a lot of things and jc and jyl reconnect with wwx via lwj. It was a really sweet fic with feels and I need it in my veins.

FOUND? 💖 love wakes me by dea_liberty (E, 46k, WangXian, Happy Ending, Angst, Childhood Sweethearts, Misunderstandings, Famous LWJ, Coffee Shop Owner WWX, Finding each other again, Found Families, lots and lots of feelings, so many feelings, Stupid Grand Romantic Gestures)

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7. Hi! This is for the fic finder.

I'm looking for a modern au. It started in lxc's pov. Lxc & lwj were having dinner with lqr and they are supposed to not use their phone but lwj is getting constant calls which he doesn't receive and then lxc gets a call and it turns out to be wwx. He receives it and it turns out that wwx is at some sort of club where he was drugged and and he's stuck in the washroom while some man is banging at the door to try assault him. Lxc and lwj go to the club and I think lwj punches the the dude. Lxc also makes wwx puke up the drug by inducing vomiting with his fingers. Hope it helps @aristocraticteacup

FOUND! Please Let Me Take Care of You by incidentallyWangxian (G, 9k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Sexual Assault, ish, kinda assault, drugged WWX, big brother LXC, Nightmares, the horrifying ordeal of being known, Modern, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Hurt WWX, crying WWX)

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8. looking for help finding a fic!

wangxian based on a tumblr post (a witch offers a challenge to retrieve a key from her cat's neck, only one person tries to make friends with the cat, the cat is the witch)

the yiling laozu has offered a challenge to retrieve a bell from a pet crow and become his partner/husband(?). lwj is in the area to look for something and makes friends with this crow. eventually the crow offers the bell, and lwj must decline because he's in love with wwx. eventually he takes the bell and the crow is revealed to be wwx.

FOUND? ❤️ chasing you by jaws_3 (T, 10k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, WWX isn't found au, Shapeshifting, Pining, Identity Porn)

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9. This is so helpful! I'm looking for a long modern AU oneshot where Wei Wuxian is a doctor, and he's just gotten off shift when he witnesses a car accident. Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi were in the car (LSZ's arm is broken, but they're both okay). WWX has been away for 10(?) years and has recently moved back to the area to work at the local hospital. I'm not sure if I've forgotten to bookmark it, or if it has been disappeared. Thank you!

FOUND! plant a little happiness (let the roots run deep) by fleurdeliser (E, 47k, WangXian, Modern AU, Car Accidents, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Non-Explicit References to Injuries and Death, References to Addiction, Doctors & Physicians, Falling In Love, soft romance, background 3zun, [Podfic of] plant a little happiness (let the roots run deep) by knight_tracer, [Podfic of] plant a little happiness (let the roots run deep) by exmanhater)

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10. Hello, hope you're all having a good day and thank you for your time and this iniciative.

For the fic finder: I lost sight of a fic a long time ago, set during the study arc.

In the morning the disciples wake up to find their swords have been stolen and they blame Wei Wuxian for it since he is missing. Later, though, they find Wei Wuxian in the forest where he has been badly hurt by someone (YLLZ Wei Wuxian, I believe?).

FOUND? For the Dust and the Dirt by Nyxelestia (M, 63k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time travel Fix-It, Cloud recesses study Arc, It gets worse before it gets better, WWX Whump, Hurt/comfort, Angst, Eventual Happy Ending)

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11. i am looking for a fic that i can’t find. it’s been a while since i read it but basically i remember wwx sends jiang chang on his way against his will so he can kill wen chao. the whole murder is very graphic and brutal but it was written very beautifully and it takes a lot out of wwx @sunshinepkjm-blog

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12. Hi I've been looking for two fics that should be on ao3

A) First has deity wangxian but they got seperated, WWX get captured by the Wens which maybe starts the Sunshot Campaign? and Jin Ling is like a spirit demigod thing that picked Jin Zixuan to be his father. I think Wen Popo and Wen Ning were also deities or some kind of nonhuman being and Wen Ning had something about eyes

B) Second one I only remember had a scene where WWX rides on his sword broomstick witch style and gets teased about it?

Thanks if you can find them <3 @nyankokoko

Hi hi I'm #12 from the Dec 3rd fic finder

Just letting you know that someone has found A)!! It was Black Jadeite by Tysis

I'm still looking for B) but I've realised that it have been a twitter/X thread fic so who knows where someone will stumble upon it but my search shall continue on!

Thank you mods and community members for all the help! <3

12A)

FOUND! Black Jadeite by Tysis (G, 27k, WangXian, JYL/WQ, 3zun, JC/NHS, Immortality, Fix-It of Sorts, LWJ Will Cause Problems On Purpose, Qishan Wen Catches a God, Patron God AU, LWJ Will Also Solve Problems On Accident, Non-Chronological, Everyone Lives, If it looks like character death, just wait a few hundred word and they’ll get better)

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13. Hiya! I have a ask for a finder! I'll try my best but I switched hyperfixations for a year so it is lost to my mind palace and before I was able to make a account on AO3. It's a fic that gives Firefly feels. Wwx is a consultant for looking at Resenment in ships and meets Lwj while he's supposed to go around in hiding.

The main thing I remember the most, stupidly enough, is the fact that the chapters open up with verses from songs. The song, as I started to listen to it religiously, was Follow Me by Written By Wolves in one of the chapters. "You've spent your whole life living by every rule they gave you. Don't you think it's time that you cut out all the lies, boy" <- That was the lyrics. I know that the first part is complete, but it was going to be a series, and now I can't find it. I humbly ask for help!. @skylar-lei1634

FOUND! Follow Me by unbirthdaydance (T, 37k, WangXian, Science Fiction & Fantasy, magic cats, Ghost Hunters, Supernatural Elements, Secret Identity, Emperor LWJ, Royalty, Necromancy, Magic, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, Spaceships, Flirting, Awkward Flirting, Familiars, Worst Fanboy XY)

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14. Love this blog! Usually my bookmarks don't fail me, but it has this time. Help! I'm trying to find a (very well known, I'm certain) Yilling Wei fic where wangxian build traditions and rituals of their own, and Yuan comes up with spinning as a symbol of turning a new leaf. The scene wangxian get married has everyone invited, including Zewu-jun and other sect leaders, spinning and all find it adorable. I know this is a really well-loved one but my search-fu is failing. Thank you in advance!!!

FOUND? Hi! 14 is 🔒 Ceremony by scifigeek13, the last story in the series 🔒 The Yiling Wei Clan by scifigeek14 (G, 45k, WangXian, LWJ & LSZ & WWX, JYL/JZX, JC/WQ, Canon Divergence, POV Alternating, POV Third Person Limited ,Happy Ending, Living Together, Families of Choice, Yílíng Wèi Sect, Epistolary, Not Canon Compliant, Letters, Family Feels, Everyone Lives, POV Child, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Crush, Politics, Exposition, Mud, Alcohol, Weddings, Marriage, Children, Family)

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15. Hello! I'm looking for a fic, it came out a while ago(over 2 years).

In it, the lans the nies and the jin (well, lxc nmj and jgy)are all united and LWJ is the emperor. They r at war with the jiang and WWX is one of the generals for the jiangs. He's really smart and clever and LWJ fell in love with him across the battle field bc of how he kept outsmarting his generals (the polycule). LWJ and WWX only met one time on the battle field and LWJ had his face hidden even though he was present as The Emperor.

Sometime down the line LWJ sends over a peace treaty saying they'd cease hostilities(or something like that) with the Jiang in exchange for wwx to come to the capital. Everyone assumes including wwx that this means hed be like a political prisoner and wwx decided he's just gonna go bc even though he's a super awesome general with several victories , the situation at lotus pier is still shitty with madam yu still hating his guts. So he accepts the proposal and heads out in the dead of night only there's factions(?) Of people that keep trying to kill him to prevent him from meeting up where he's supposed to(the letter said to be by a specific bridge by a certain date).

Little does he know that LWJ actually wants to marry him and make wwx his empress, so bc he's a simp he left to go wait at the bridge in disguise(reg lwj not emperor lwj) and he brought a lot of stuff that could be used to make wwx s trip to the capital easier(like a tea pot etc). Lwj sees fire in the distance and rightly assumes somethings gone wrong and goes to investigate.

Its people who r using wwxs battle strategies against him(I think it was called the gauntlet or something) but in the fic it was really funny bc the ambushers set the forest on fire and wwx and some of his troops who followed him in secret to help him bc loyalty keep being like "but its raining?!?!"

I think wwx gets shot at one point and his troops hand him off to lwj to get him outta there bc they r all exhausted from running around trying to avoid dying.

Lwj is all mushy on the inside bc he gets to hold wwx, but wwx doesn't know who he is(I think he thinks lwj is like, the emperors personal guard sent to retrieve wwx?) and they r trying to get back over to lan territory to avoid getting killed and wwx is like "I doubt it'll stop once we cross the border, it's probably people on both sides who want to keep the war going and to do that they will want to sabotage me getting to the emperor who's just gonna hold me hostage." And lwj is like "the emperor wouldn't do that" and wwx is like "well ofcourse you'd say that u swore loyalty to him."

I remember early in the fic nmj was talking about how awesome wwx was bc nmj had these elephants he set onto the field and wwx just ordered his troops to spread out so they'd go in between the space between the war elephants. And nmj was like "that was some cool shit no lie"

Any and all help is appreciated with finding this fic, thank u so much!! @hilariousseagoat

FOUND! Veil by a_single_step (Not Rated, 96k, WangXian, WIP, Royalty, Arranged Marriage, War, General WWX, Emperor LWJ, Romance, Angst, Falling In Love, Pining LWJ, Misunderstandings, WWX doing his best, Sweet, Fluff and Humor) sounds like this fic especially the elephant part. It hasn’t updated in four year tho (´；ω；`)

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16. Hi! I am looking for two stories:

A) The first is a modern AU, no magic. WWX is in the process of adopting A-Yuan and never mentions this to any coworkers, so come time for the summer company picnic, he decides (maybe prompted by NHS??) that the only thing to do is gas light all his coworkers that he has absolutely had a child all along. LWJ then returns the favor by speed running ‘pining from a distance’ to ‘in a committed relationship, next Tuesday is our wedding anniversary.’

B) The second is much less clearly remembered. AU of canon. LWJ meets WWX on a night hunt (I think on a farm??). LWJ was too young to have participated in the war and therefore doesn’t know WWX is the Yiling Patriarch, since LXC was the Lan who fought the war. The Burial Mounds Settlement is more established when the fic starts.

Thanks for all your hard work!!! @agedsolarwhisk

16A)

FOUND! Let’s Play Pretend and Live Our Lives by Tassos (E, 50k, WangXian, Modern, On Purpose Baby Aquisition, Accidental Husband Aquisition, Idiots in Love, WWX Has Self Esteem Issues, Domestic Fluff, Kid Fic, Light Angst, the Lans and Jiangs make an appearance, NHS Gives Great Advice, Pining, Getting Together)

16B)

NOT FOUND! Awaiting Your Return by Karmiya (E, 126k, WangXian, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, the opposite of slow burn, Found Family, Canon Divergence, Age Difference, discussions of wwx's canonical abusive childhood)

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17. Hiii. Thank you so much for your time. So i definitely have this fic downloaded but I’ve lost it amidst hundreds of downloaded books. So all I remember is that LWJ is an omega, he has to look for a mate. WWX is the demon? If yiling Patriarch and the two are close as in he came in for tea lan Zhan pours him tea etc think WWX is dark in this fic, all i remember is him pushing lan Zhan against a tree and taking a bit if advantage and lan Zhan obviously liked it. He says marry me somewhere as well @ruyipavillion

FOUND? Sanctuary by lunarvelle (E, 153k, WangXian, WIP, A/B/O, Bottom LWJ, Alpha WWX, Omega LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Demon WWX, Intersex LWJ, Rape/Non-con Elements, Dubious Consent, Feminization, Pack Dynamics, Genderfluid Character, Genderqueer Character, Breastfeeding, Male Lactation, Lactation Kink) maybe? it's been a while since i've read it, so i'm not sure, but it sounds similar

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18. Hi! This is for fic finder. Its omega wwx. Set in burual settlement days. WQ is omega too. There are pregnant wen remnant. She, WWX, and WQ bonding together. She asked wwx that if she didnt survive he will raised the child. There are childbirth but the woman not survived. That baby is a-yuan. WQ and WWX takes turn taking care a yuan. Between the two, WWX produced milk that WQ says an omega sympathy if i remember correctly. Thats all i can remember. Thanks! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

FOUND! The Unrestrained Love by orphan_account (T, 60k, WangXian, LXC/JGY, WIP, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, A/B/O, Omega WWX, Alpha LXC, Omega JGY, Alpha LXC)

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19. Hi! My gosh I've never done this before so I hope I'm doing it right but I am desperate?? I'm searching for a very specific wangxian fic that had Wangxian as established couple, married even I think, and Wwx was contemplating what to wear to some sort of event (i think it was a conference of some sort) and because he wasn't happy with his own robes he chose to wear lwjs robes and when he went in lwj had heart eyes and it was all really cute and incredibly well written (also it wasn't the one where lwj gave him his own gusu robes, I know that one!!) Pls pls help?

Much thanks for being a lifesaver anyway! @yes-i-guess-nevertheless

FOUND! Lord of Joyous Flowers by stiltonbasket (G, 2k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Married WangXian, Wardrobe malfunctions, or the one where WWX has a closet full of clothes but nothing to wear, Smitten LWJ, Fluff, Parenthood, Introspection, Happy Ending)

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20. im looking for a modern fic where wwx and a-yuan move in next ro lwj. wwx is running from the wens and goes by mo xuanyu. pretty sure that jiang cheng/wen qing is a side pairing, wq is working at a hispital and jc is looking for wwx?

FOUND? Stop and Stay by Fantazy_Eyeland7 (M, 98k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, LXC/JGY, SL/XXC, WIP, Blood and Violence, Hurt WWX, Kidnapping, Torture, WWX discovering weighted blankets, Pining LWJ, Modern, FBI Agent NMJ, Protective LWJ, Emotional Manipulation, Toxic JGY, not JGY friendly, LWJ learning how to communicate, WangXian have competence kinks, adopting children, Bad Parent YZY, Protective JYL, Protective JC, Protective NMJ, Past Child Abuse, Precious LSZ, Baby LJY, Warning: XY, Blind Character, slaps top of WWX: This bad boy can fit so much trauma inside, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Everyone is ending up in well-needed therapy, Child Abandonment, Genius WWX, Obsessive XY, Yunmeng Siblings Feels, Eventual Smut, Bad Parent JFM, Junior Quartet Dynamics, (As Babies!), Implied/Referenced Suicide, sort of a slow burn, but not really, because they KNOW, they just can’t, Good Uncle LQR, eventually)

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#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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devondespresso · 1 month ago

Text

This Comfort

T | 4.5k words | ao3 | Stobissy (Platonic stobin x Chrissy) | canon divergent season 4 rewrite, pre-relationship, hurt/comfort, happy ending, weird-as-shit stobin | cws: referenced eating disorder, implied depression, implied suicidal ideation, referenced drugs

happy holidays @stellarspecter !!! hows it feel to be THE reason i like this rarepair so much that i had to hold myself back from trying to do a whole chrissy lives s4 rewrite? I tried to be subtle but i also just HAD to reread your stuff while brainstorming this, hope you like it!!! 💕💕💕

<< betaed by @kikidoesfanfic im so sorry idk how i forgot to credit your help but god you helped so much thank you dhmxhmxngdng

also dividers by @/saradika-graphics >>

Chrissy kind of wants to cry.

Her body always seems to want to do that at the first hint of peace she can find. In a bathroom stall, at the rotting picnic table behind the school, and now in the basement at Nancy Wheeler’s house, surrounded by still, sleeping bodies. She can’t help but find their presence soothing, even if their warmth doesn’t reach the cold vinyl of her sleeping bag, even if the gentle rhythm of their breathing can’t be heard over the sound of Olivia Newton-John’s voice clogging her ears.

Would the song even work if she got sick of hearing it so much? Can any song keep her safe if she keeps associating music with life-or-death?

Chrissy’s supposed to be sleeping, or supposed to be trying, at least. But she can’t hear the huffs, can’t feel any warmth, can’t even smell over the stench of highschool boy’s body spray— so Chrissy doesn’t try to sleep, even if she has a comparatively easy song to fall asleep to. She just watches, still as if she were out like they are, watching those tiny movements in the bodies around her.

Chests rise and fall slowly, languid unlike any other moment from the day. Some people twitch or stir—just barely—as their bodies dream, hopefully of something far removed from everything that’s happening now. It’s only half the room in her line of sight, but something about watching even just a part of the life around her makes it easier to feel the rest of it there.

It’s nice. Really nice, compared to the past twenty-four hours. And for some twisted reason, that makes tears prick at Chrissy’s eyes.

Her song starts again, a rhythmic melody that had made her sway in her seat the first dozen times she listened to it today. A melody that somehow—even after literal hours of hearing it over and over and over and over and over—still takes her to a time unblemished enough to keep her from letting Vecna end it all.

The beginning instruments all cut off so Olivia can start singing, new instruments coming in to replace them, but they’re not the same. Chrissy swallows, but a tear still falls, tickling her skin down towards her ear before it stops, falling and soaking into the flattened pillow that smells like the same musty body spray as the rest of this cruddy basement.

“Chrissy,” a voice whispers from behind her, said like it isn’t the first time they’ve called, barely audible over her music. Chrissy pushes up slightly, just enough to look behind her, to find Steve sitting up and keeping watch on the couch, leaning towards Chrissy as much as he can with Robin sleeping on his lap. His eyes stay focused on her through the dark, looking maybe for rolled back eyes or waiting for her to start muttering in tongues, but Chrissy only looks back and waits.

“You okay?” he whispers through the dark, again just barely loud enough. Chrissy nods to him, and turns down her music a notch or two.

Steve keeps looking like she never responded. Maybe—hopefully—because it's too dark to see and not because he expects a different answer with enough waiting. Chrissy swallows a lump in her throat, and answers again.

“I'm okay.”

Steve hears her—he has to—but he keeps looking at her that same way. Attentive, and a little on edge.

Chrissy slides one side of her headphones off her ear so she can hear her own whispers.

“I’m fine, I promise.” She says, loud enough that he has to hear her—or believe her—yet still low enough to mask the way her throat tightens around the words.

Steve hums, a soft thing that blends with the sounds of the room, but Chrissy can make it out.

“Come up here.” He whispers, nodding over to the small sliver of couch left next to him, just big enough to fit her. Or, big enough if she were like Robin and could just half-lay on pretty people without feeling electricity seize her body from head to toe. Chrissy opens her mouth to politely decline and save both of them the awkwardness, but Steve picks that moment to look away—look down to Robin—and lift her ever so slightly, ever so gently, to scoot them over and make the space next to him more comfortable.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Chrissy whispers but finds herself getting up anyway, padding over quietly as Steve settles, Robin slumping back down onto his lap without stirring.

“It’s no big deal,” He mutters, a soft smile pulling at his lips, still looking down at Robin, “She sleeps like the dead like this.”

Chrissy hums, and Steve looks up.

“Or– like a baby, I guess is a better word for it right now.”

“It’s fine.” Chrissy insists, taking a seat next to him, settling into the corner with a respectable distance between them– a distance that the rest of her doesn’t seem to pick up on, unfortunately, but respectable at the very least.

Steve hums and watches her, trying to do it subtly out of the corner of his eye, but even just a day around the real Steve is enough for her to know what worry looks like on him.

Fortunately for her, he doesn’t push. And when Chrissy busies herself with getting comfortable in her new couch corner, Steve looks away, absently combing through Robin’s hair as he plays casual.

“Rough sleeping with music always in your ears?” Steve asks, a lightness of humor there that she wishes was the only thing tied to that question.

“Not too bad, actually.” she says, pairing it with a little smile and hoping it’ll convince them both that she’s alright. “Especially out of all the other songs from Grease. The walkman itself is probably more annoying.”

“Yeah, my ears do not envy you there.” Steve huffs, smiling a little, making Chrissy’s smile come a little easier before they both run out of things to say and the levity falls off both their faces. Chrissy’s dropping faster with no eyes on her to keep up the charade for, while Steve’s falls slowly, slips into neutral as he gets caught up in thought once again.

Chrissy gets to keep a few moments to herself before she catches Steve glancing at her again through the corner of her eye. She pretends not to notice, holds her neutrality for a few nauseating seconds before she sighs, closing her eyes and drawing her knees to her chest in a way that turns the subtle glance into full-force attention.

“Do you think…” She starts, but finds the words stopping before they can get out of her head. Does he think she’ll die? Obviously he’s not going to tell her if he does.

“Eh, sometimes.” Steve answers, shrugging lightly in a way that's playful but not flippant enough to derail the conversation.

Chrissy huffs from the tinge of amusement, then tries again.

“Have you wondered what would happen if we got tired of our songs?”

“Not yet, to be honest. But I figure we’d try to find new ones.” He says, quick enough that it feels like a simple answer to him. But even still he considers it, even if it’s just to show her he’s taking her worries seriously. “I mean, if the whole point is picking a song that reminds you about what’s good in life, I’d figure there’s got to be at least a decent handful of them that’d work.”

Chrissy hums, resting her head onto her knees as she considers. It feels like a simple enough thing, just find songs that remind you of good things, but as she combs through the library in her head, she’s not sure she has as many of those as the others do. Or at the very least, not ones that haven't been sullied by other memories or the things she’s learned since then. Birthday parties with a Chrissy that didn’t think twice about what was in those cakes, sleepovers with girls that had a lot more to say in the halls than they did in their bedrooms. She should count herself lucky that out of all the songs she had loved, she still had one of her favorites.

Though she supposes she should also count herself lucky for even being alive right now. If circumstances were different, she might’ve genuinely felt it.

“To be honest, I’m more worried about how Max doesn’t seem bothered by listening to the same thing nonstop.” Steve chimes in again, that sweet little note of humor back, and though it still makes her smile—truly smile, at both the humor and the intent behind it—it can’t fully lift her out of the headspace she keeps crawling into.

Still Chrissy hums along with him, the sweetness she puts into her voice just as erosive as the added sugars she keeps an eye out for.

“The magic of a really good artist, I guess.”

“Maybe. Though I know I’d still get tired of it no matter who’s voice I’m blasting.” Steve replies, tone light as if he didn’t notice how fake her tone was, and just that thought grants Chrissy an ounce of real levity.

“Even Freddie Mercury.” Chrissy asks with teasing scrutiny.

“I plead the fifth.” Steve smiles mischievously, and when Chrissy raises a suspicious eyebrow at him, he lets out a small but genuine laugh that Chrissy wants to mirror desperately.

Steve hushes himself quickly enough, but Robin still stirs in his lap, groaning and tucking her face down into the denim of Steve’s jeans as if they were somehow comfortable enough to put her back to sleep. But then again, Chrissy figures they don’t have to be, as Steve’s hand finds it’s way back to her hair again, carding his fingers gently and intentionally as Robin stills and soon returns to slow, sedated breathing.

Steve sighs, not tense or aggravated, just restful, like the mood of before was so calm that any change in it counted as disturbance. And then within seconds, he’s back, glancing once over to Chrissy again before looking back at Robin as he continues.

“Rob’s probably the type to be fine listening to most of her music over and over.” He hums, “Not that she needs it. The second she even thought that music might be it she shoved all the tapes she could find into her bag—including our manager’s, actually—”

“Your manager’s?”

“Yeah, Keith’s in for a bit of a surprise soon.” Steve laughs again, “Point is, though,” Steve looks back at her with a new, almost concerning level of sincerity once again veiled as small-talk. “Robin has a pretty good stash of other music in her bag and I’ve got a handful in the glovebox, too, so if you want to pick a couple backups to keep on you…” He shrugs instead of finishing with any extra nod to the favor he’s offering, and Chrissy’s conscience appreciates the discretion.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” she mutters, figuring at the very least that it wouldn’t hurt to look, maybe pick a couple that’d sound nice, even if she doubts anything from after 79’ would spark any good memories, the thought itself is sweet enough to make her sincerely grateful. “Thank you.”

“‘Course. It’s all up to you, just know it's an option.”

Chrissy hums and nods, not really wanting to continue the conversation but also lacking anything else to start talking about next.

Really, she only gets a few seconds to think about it before Steve’s glancing her way again, eyes lingering to study her and somehow sneaking inside towards the softest parts of her, all right under her nose.

“You’re doing good, y’know?” Steve says, quiet as anything else they’ve said tonight, but Chrissy finds it deafening. “This shit sucks… so much. But your still here, still sticking together, still keeping up with the kids—which, believe me, is a feat in of itself.” He huffs to himself, before glancing back to Chrissy with raw compassion. “I know all of it’s… smothering, almost. Too big and too stressful, but you’re doing great, alright? And we’re gonna make it work out.”

He’s lying, obviously, Chrissy hasn’t done jack-shit and Steve just wants to make her feel better– so Chrissy nods—on reflex, almost—because she knows to take a compliment—to take comfort—when it's being given to her. She knows so she nods and tries to just take Steve’s words with a polite smile and a polite nod but–

Her eyes water and tears fall too fast, too many goddamned tears coming and spillingout and she tries—God, she tries— to keep them back and to smile and show him it worked, shes good now, thank you—but she’s failing, failing miserably, so she falls back on breathing– breathing normally and praying he can’t see her crying through the dark–

“Chrissy, I mean it.” Steve says, with the softness of sincerity that—regardless of whether she believes him or not—breaks through the last of her defenses, letting a small, pitiful sound choke its way out of her throat.

“Chris–”

Chrissy stands—giving up on looking okay in favor of being quiet—and wipes her face, looking around for the bathroom door that Nancy said would be down here.

“Chrissy, hey–” Steve whispers, a hand finding her arm gently—not grabbing, just touching—and while it tempts her so heavily, instinct leads her away.

“It’s fine– don’t wake Robin–” Chrissy chokes on her own words and aborts, going towards the bathroom, ignoring Steve trying to whisper-call after her, ignoring how he whispers to himself before the couch squeaks, ignoring his footsteps coming up until they’re right behind her– and Chrissy stops and flings around and–

Turning catches Steve off guard—enough to stop him a foot or so away—and makes him retract an outstretched arm.

“Chrissy, it’s okay.” Steve insists, struggling for words to say next and doing nothing to keep it from taking over his face. “Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–”

“Stop.” Chrissy says– tries to say, even though it comes out wet and weak and crackly– “You’re fine, I promise–”

It doesn’t sound final but it’s all Chrissy can get out—is all that she really needs to. Tears keep coming like she’s a broken faucet and Steve’s still standing there—already knows she’s crying and isn’t going to ignore it—so she just covers her face with her hands, cold fingers cooling unruly flames of embarrassment, and tries catching her breath.

“Wha’s…?”

Chrissy doesn’t try to recognise the voice, just jolts up at the new sound and finds Robin up and walking towards them, going slow and rubbing her face like a rough morning.

“Rob, now’s not–”

“Are you crying?” Robin says as she drops her hand and gets a barely decent look at Chrissy, voice sounding suddenly wide awake, face skipping confusion and going straight to concern as she turns to check Steve next, “Are you– no, no you're– ok, good, so–” She turns back to Chrissy within another blink. “Are you okay? Or– no, stupid question.”

“No,” Chrissy says, but then Robin’s eyes flash with guilt, “No, no, I– not stupid question, I’m okay, I promise, I–”

“That’s debatable.” Steve interrupts, as kindly as he probably can.

“I am.” Chrissy says before heaving a massive breath and pushing her hands across her face again, all to get herself in any way capable of explaining, “It’s not your fault– or yours, or anyones! I’m not mad or sad or upset or anything– I’m just crying!” Chrissy pauses for another breath, then finishes—with more control than before— “Just crying. And crying in front of people is embarrassing, so…”

Steve and Robin both stay silent, gears turning trying to figure out what to say or do next, and while Chrissy does feel a little bad, a small part of her says they were asking for it.

“I cry a lot.” Robin says, in what seems like a reflex at first, but she keeps going even after she seems to realize what she’s saying, “I cry all the time, like, constantly– or not actually really that frequently but when I do it’s like an absolute behemoth amount of crying, and I love crying– or well, maybe not– no actually I do, if I need to cry then I love to cry, just get it all out, y’know? And this whole thing—the end-of-the-world monster crisis thing—is like a really good reason to need to cry, the most understandable reason to cry—even Steve's cried about it!”

“Yes!” Steve confirms immediately, like he either somehow forgot or the detail didn't occur to him.

“And last time– okay I didn't really cry during it much last time because it felt like there was so much going on like all the time but the second we got Steve a hospital room and I could sit down next to him, I started bawling, like really ugly snotty sobbing, and I cried for, like, three hours straight and one of the nurses kept bringing me water so I wouldn't dehydrate and die because I actually could not stop crying and I didn’t even feel that sad, y’know? I had been way more upset in the middle of the whole thing but I didn’t cry once—”

“Just peed your pants a little.” Steve mutters, catching Chrissy off-guard and making Robin fling immediately over to wack his arm.

“You–” Robin says, pointing at him and scrambling for words, “And you shit your pants twenty minutes in!”

“I what?” Steve whisper-laughs, bordering on a dangerous volume again.

“Yeah, you shit yourself and you smelled so bad–” Robin starts breaking into giggles and struggling to keep her volume down, so Steve somehow decides that covering her mouth with his hand would help. It does, kinda, in that it muffles her laughs until she gets them under control and starts swatting him away.

They collect themselves together, clearly trying to keep attuned to Chrissy without directing the full force of attention on her, but as they both try to manage each other’s clumsiness Chrissy feels the pressure of conversation ease and is just left with Robin’s words and the care that both of them were trying to show. Chrissy wipes her face even though new tears still fall, and steels herself with another breath that finally comes easier than the last.

“Robin.” Chrissy says.

Robin stops, and before Chrissy can chicken out she dives forward and takes Robin into a hug.

Robin’s clearly caught off guard but recovers quickly and wraps her arms around Chrissy tight, leaning in with a cheek pressed into her hair, holding her immediately. Chrissy sobs a little for no good reason but Robin doesn’t let go, doesn’t ask again, just keeps holding on.

Instead of waiting ages for her tears to stop, Chrissy just lets go when her crying quiets down and she no longer feels the need to hide from the people holding her. Chrissy loosens her grip and Robin lets go right after, leaning back to check on her, breaking into a sweet, lopsided grin.

Another hand falls carefully onto her back, and when Chrissy turns around and finds Steve still there quietly trying to check in too, Chrissy lunges forward a second time. Steve holds her tight like Robin did– possibly even tighter as his shoulders curl around her frame, like she’s being tucked inside his chest, safe away from harm.

Chrissy kind of hates pulling away, but by the way both Steve and Robin stay close after letting go, Chrissy gets the feeling that it won’t be hard to get more of that affection from them.

“You ready to go back to the couch?” Robin asks.

Chrissy nods.

“Awesome,” Robin says, taking her hand and leading the way back eagerly, “Cause, like, I don’t know about you but I would love to be sleeping right now– and I don’t regret waking up, obviously, totally a good reason to wake up, I just also love getting a full night’s sleep–”

“Aw, poor Robin, not being asleep right now.” Steve teases, getting quieter as they get to the couch but still being loud enough to annoy Robin.

“Aw, poor Stevie, was already awake when things started happening and only had to wake up once in the middle of the night.” Robin whines back, taking a spot in the corner of the couch and pulling Chrissy down to sit with her.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re so funny, Robbie.” Steve smiles, not making a move to sit down with them. “Where’d you put your bag?”

“Why?”

“Wanna look at the tapes you have.”

“Steve, you don’t have to.” Chrissy

“‘Don’t know what you’re talking about, I just want to listen to– uh… Bowie. Obviously.”

Chrissy huffs, torn between the guilt of a favor and a rush of amusement, but couldn’t help but play along.

“And not your manager’s stellar music taste?”

“Steve!” Robin hissed, “You told her?”

“Yeah, what’s she gonna do? Keith’s gonna know.”

“We don’t know for sure!”

“Yeah we do, his walkman’s basically glued to him.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Not with you cause he likes you, but on a Tuesday close with me and I’d be lucky if he heard me dying.”

“Oh, I think he hears you just fine.” Robin laughs.

Steve sighs with a quick eye-roll before gesturing back to the room.

“Bag. Where?”

“Behind the trunk under the staircase.”

Steve looks at her incredulously but goes to find it, repeating her interesting choice of hiding place under his breath as he goes.

“Did something happen to your other tape?” Robin asks, turning and hitting her with the full force of her concern—and while Chrissy appreciates it, a lot, she needs to look away to relieve some of the pressure and calm some of the heat that hits her cheeks.

“No, no, it’s working fine, I just, uh… was worried I was going to get sick of listening to it all the time.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Robin nods and the intensity of her worry lessens considerably, replaced instead by an almost frantic kind of ramble, “Good as in, like, y’know, that it’s not broken and you’re just being extra cautious, I mean–”

“Yeah, it’s good.” Chrissy smiles, cherishing the way Robin smiles with relief as she realizes she’s being understood.

Robin’s eyes flick slightly to something behind Chrissy so she turns around, catching Steve as he gives a note to a recently awoken Nancy Wheeler and starts finding his way back to the couch around the minefield of sleeping teenagers on the floor. He stops right in front of the couch—in front of Chrissy—and kneels down to open the bag between them for her to see.

“Let Nance know about the new plan.” He mutters, probably softer than he has to, “If by some chance something does happen, she’ll know to try your old tape first.”

Chrissy looks up at his eyes for a moment before turning them down into the bag, impressively full of cassettes, some loose, some in their cases, but almost all of them well-loved. Chrissy reaches in and starts looking through the ones on top, some obviously Steve’s, some obviously Robin’s, some probably Keith’s, and a good many that have to be for both of them. She searches through them blankly for a few minutes before Steve and Robin try helping with suggestions.

“I think some of The Go-Go’s are in there.”

“Steve had ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’.”

“There’s definitely some Cyndi Lauper.”

“What was your old song again?” Robin asks.

“‘Hopelessly Devoted To You’. From Grease.”

Robin hums and stares into the bag. After a second, she starts picking handfuls of them out, picking each one intentionally but still grabbing more than enough for Chrissy to choose from until one catches her eye.

“Wait, wait, wait–”

Robin freezes, looking back to Chrissy with her arms still shoved in her bag, unmoving. Chrissy reaches over and picks up a tape that had already made it to Robin’s lap: a standard-looking cassette without its case and a couple of attempts at hearts drawn on it. It wasn’t the only cassette to have cute drawings—far from it—but it was the first one she saw with wonky hearts scribbled out then copied right next to it, like someone tried, failed, and then was told to bring their failure back instead of hiding it away.

She checks the other side. “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper.

“Steve gave that to me ages ago.” Robin hums, and Chrissy smiles, looking over at the other cassettes with little drawings on them.

“Was it the first one?”

“Second, technically, didn’t draw on Total Eclipse of the Heart until later.”

Chrissy nods, then looks up to Robin again.

“Would you mind…?”

“Oh, yeah, totally. I mean go for it. Worst case scenario: I’m still in touch with my dealer.” Robin jokes, making Steve snort as he stands and drops the bag over by the end of the couch.

Robin gets comfortable as Chrissy goes ahead and switches the tapes in her walkman, going to set her old one on a table nearby. When she turns back around, Robin is laying down on the couch, making grabby hands up towards Steve until he finishes his headcount and turns back around.

“What?” He laughs.

“Get over here, it’s my turn to be big.”

“Hm, if I have to.” Steve laughs and goes to settle with her before pausing and looking back over to Chrissy.

“You want on the couch, too?”

Chrissy goes over towards them and Steve smiles, taking that as her answer.

“We can leave you a spot if you want, or…”

Chrissy flushes but pointedly doesn’t take the offer for the separate spot on the couch, and luckily, Steve and Robin both figure out the answer without her having to say it.

Robin lays on her back half-propped up while Steve basically lays on top of her, spooning but with the little spoon on the verge of crushing the big spoon, but they seem more than content with it, Robin hugging Steve almost like a teddy bear. Steve gives Chrissy the go-ahead, so with her walkman in hand, she carefully takes the spot between him and the back of the couch. She brings the headphones up to her ears just as an arm comes around her back, the new melody fitting the new warmth she’s feeling deep down perfectly.

Chrissy lets one of her hands find Robin’s above her across the polo shirt pillow connecting them. Both the bodies laying with her relax, shifting slightly to get comfortable in their strange arrangement on the cramped couch, but the one thing that stays perfectly consistent is the slow rise and fall beneath her, the feather-light puffs tickling her hair, and the warmth of life enveloping her.

Chrissy knows it’s not perfect. The next few days will be far, far from kind to them. She knows that even when she wakes from this nightmare, she’ll just be stuck right back where she was before, working her ass off at cheer practice during the day and then begging their drug dealer for ketamine at night. The thought will probably never leave her mind.

But right now, Chrissy enjoys the new music playing in her ears, the familiar song with a man and a woman’s voices that feel uniquely alive right now, warm and safe and real.

If you’re lost,

You can look

And you will find me,

Time after time.

If you fall,

I will catch you.

I’ll be waiting,

Time after time.

Chrissy falls asleep. No dreams, no Vecna, just sleep.

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fatliberation · 3 months ago

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oh wow im really interested about your review of glp-1 agonists study. can't waut to read it if you ever publish it!

also have you seen those studies about calorie deficit prolonging life in mice? i'vr been thinking for a while what to say to people that bring it up besides obvious "we are not mice and our metabolism is different, etc." i wonder if you have any thoughts on this topic

Thank you, it's basically one big summary of all of the studies I've been referencing on this blog but in formal paper mode! I will let y'all know when it's up on my ko-fi soon.

So, I just did some reading and the evidence for calorie restriction prolonging lifespan is not very strong, even in mice, so it's definitely not something that a human (or any other mammal) should take as fact. We also know that calorie restriction is the leading cause of eating disorders in humans and leads to weight cycling, which is linked to cardiovascular disease, stroke, diabetes and altered immune function.

Some quotes I pulled from two separate mice studies:

"In summary, our initial belief that the rate of aging is directly proportional to caloric intake (with obvious limits at the higher and lower ends of the spectrum) has now been shown to be incorrect. DR (Dietary Restriction) works through a variety of mechanisms, as evidenced by the fact that its pro longevity and pro health effects vary based on several modifiable study design factors including: the diet composition, age of onset, feeding regimens, and genetics and sex of the organism. The fact that nutrition influences aging in many animal models is nevertheless valuable, and given our incomplete understanding of aging itself, it continues to provide an avenue of investigation that is not even close to reaching its full potential."

"Despite repeated claims in the literature implying that ER (Energy Restriction) extends the life span of virtually all species (3), there is considerable evidence that this effect is not universal. ...In cohorts of mice derived from wild-caught ancestors, Harper et al. (7) did not observe a significant extension of life span following ER. Notably, the effect of ER on longevity of different strains of inbred mice is also selective. For instance, whereas the life spans of C57BL/6 and B6D2F1 mice are extended by ∼25–30% in response to a 40% decrease in energy intake, the same regimen has no demonstrable effect on the longevity of DBA/2 mice (8), suggesting that genetic background is a factor in determining the longevity extension effect of ER."

#inbox #weight science #resources

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bobalegsanji · 4 months ago

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Masterlist 𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡

BobalegSanji

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Are you there? -> ‘’This didn’t happen.’’ ‘’It did, and we’re going to talk about it,’’ Zoro says, not caring about what Sanji has to say. ‘’You’re not doing well, and we’re going to fix it.’’ Sanji sighs. He’s still leaning on Zoro, he desperately needs Zoro’s steadiness as his feet occasionally trip over one another. ‘’I’m doing just fine,’’ he responds, barely audible.

Modern Zosan AU. Fluff/Angst. Words: 11,824.

Trigger Warnings: disordered eating, anxiety/panic attacks, depression, self-worth issues.

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Trust me -> Late night talks between a certain cook and a swordsman. Or, Sanji feels the need to learn more about Zoro after Thriller Bark. Or, Zoro needs to learn more about Sanji after Whole Cake Island

Zosan. Words: 7,806. Chapters: 2/2,

Trigger Warnings: mentions of anxiety.

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I've got you -> Sanji closes his eyes, leaning into the feeling of the warm hands on his face. ‘’Please…’’ he whispers, ‘’I… Please. Promise me you will if I ask.’’

Zosan. Words: 3,976. WCI spoilers!

Trigger Warnings: self-worth issues, implied/referenced self-harm, implied/referenced childhood abuse

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Umakemenotwannadie -> Sanji just needs a little love in a world that couldn’t care less

Modern magic AU. Zosan. Chapters: 6/?.

Trigger Warnings: depression, substance abuse, implied drug addiction, past childhood abuse, panic/anxiety attacks

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Paranoid (again) -> Sanji can’t move. The arms around his neck keep him trapped in place. He can feel a wet spot on the side of his neck, but he can’t offer Nami any support right now. He’s too busy fighting back his own tears.

Zosan. Modern AU. Words: 5,401.

Trigger Warnings: gender dysphoria, depression, suicidal thoughts, implied/referenced to self-harm, substance abuse

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Don't fight that feeling -> Sanji's insecure about his dreams. Usopp reminds him it's not just his dream.

Sanuso. Words: 2,486

Trigger Warnings: anxiety, implied/referenced depression, self-harm

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Take me out of my mind -> Zoro thought he knew everything about Sanji. So why hadn’t he noticed Sanji slipping up? The answer is obvious. It swims around in Zoro’s thoughts, day and night, for the past few days. He had known. He had just hoped Sanji would be able to solve the problems himself. But as it turns out, Sanji couldn’t.

Modern Zosan au. Words: 2,910.

Trigger Warnings: suicide attempt (aftermath), substance abuse, drug abuse, refereces to depression

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futuremrscameron · 1 month ago

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meet kitty!reader

content warnings: referenced breakdown, implied eating disorder, implied grooming, revenge porn, shitty parenting (neglect, physical abuse, emotional abuse)

kitty!reader modeled for ten years and was somewhat of a micro celebrity well on her way to the top when she had a breakdown, which led to a short stint at a “private facility,” which led to her quitting modeling when she got out

she has a strained relationship with her mother, the head of a popular teen magazine. she understands that she only wanted her to thrive and not have to rely on anyone, especially men, for help, and that being a single mother wasn’t the easiest, but she just wants her love and approval, which she can never seem to get

an outer banks native, though there are baseless rumors that she’s from the mainland and moved to obx

meets jj at the country club; she likes that he stood up to those rich assholes and defended john b; she doesn’t even care if he did it or not

during the first year of her retirement, she picked up the bass after watching adventure time and falling in love with marceliene and her bass playing. she ordered a bass and learned how to play through youtube

kitty!reader who always has fur on some part of her outfit, mostly because she likes fur but also out of spite because her mother called it tacky and wouldn’t let her wear fur on the catwalk. it slowly becomes a signature part of her style the more she wears it and turns into one of her favorite accessories

has a cat named ‘leonardo’. named after dicaprio, da vinci, or the turtle? who knows? she won’t tell anyone

was homeschooled her whole life because her mother didn’t want her to get distracted by “trivial” things like friends and extracurricular activities

former chronic nail biter from anxiety. her mother solved the problem by making her constantly get acrylics, specifically stilettos, and although they’ve cut off contact, she still gets acrylics because it helps fight the habit

doesn’t like to talk about her time in the private facility because it was at a bad time in her life and she was only 16

still keeps the schedule enforced at the private facility because it gives her ease, control, and it’s one less thing she has to worry about

kitty!reader despite her mother’s strict rules and ceaseless watching, she was able to sneak out and go to huge kook parties. she met kelce at one of them; it’s how he became her first boyfriend

very mean, like literally a bitch. jj knows it’s a defense mechanism, but that doesn’t stop him from getting angry and matching her cruelty when she cuts him down

hates that jj can see through her cold and snarky facade but can’t deny that it feels good to be seen and known no matter how scary she finds it. they bond over their reputations, awful parents, fears of the future, and about leaving obx one day

the first time she took him with her to meet her mom (after he begged for days and guilt-tripped her), her model friends thought he was a butch lesbian, so now his name is saved in her phone as ‘my butch king.’

knows who her father is and where he is but doesn’t want to meet him. he sends her letters and birthday cards, but she doesn’t want to open up that wormhole, at least not until she gets her shit together with her mom

when she meets the pogues she likes cleo the most and pope the least. jj is a bit sad she doesn’t get along with his bestie, and she asks her why, and she tells him their homoerotic tension is off the charts. he can’t argue with that

kitty!reader is basically blacklisted from all kook events after she and kelce broke up, and he spilled all her dirty secrets with the added bonus of some lies of his own and her leaked pictures. she’s figure eight’s pariah before she leaves obx and after she comes back

smokes to unwind, but she refuses to let anyone other than jj roll for her. if they’re not together at the time, she will drive all the way to the cut and ask him to roll her shit for her. he pretends to be annoyed, but he loves that he’s the only one she trusts to roll her joints, especially since he could lace the shit, not that he would, but he could if he wanted to. makes him all warm inside that she trusts him and is unknowingly putting her life in his hands

joins the pogues on their beer runs and their adventures from time to time

#kitty!reader #jj maybank x black!reader #obx fic #kitty reader #jj maybank x black reader #obx moodboard #jj maybank

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faraway-sunshine · 4 months ago

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This probably sounds super weird. But I bet your voice cracks sound pretty.

It feels very upsetting when something you say doesn’t sound how you expect it to, your words getting potentially overshadowed by something you didn’t internet, that part is really distressing.

But…. It also means, despite the past, despite your best efforts, you’re finally growing! And that’s a little beautiful. I would probably smile if I heard it.

...

I hadn't really thought about it like that properly. Or at least when my head was quiet, like it normally is right after waking up, like it is now.

Feeling myself change is still a work in progress. I don't keep a mirror in my room and I duck my head at the bathroom one. But I'm feeling my uniform get tighter around the right areas, my hair brushing my collar, the soft fuzzy downy hairs that alarmed my doctor falling out to be replaced by what I know with time will be the same dark body hairs most people get. It's so much harder by knowing that I am older than my sister ever got to be. Every change hurts.

But you're right. It does show that somehow, I made it out of my self-imposed solitary confinement. And that I'm trying not to fall back into being a selfish dreamer ever again.

Thank you for that reframing.

(Thursday 5th October, 2000, 6:50 AM)

#omori #ask sunny from omori #omori sunny #sunny omori #ask answered #quonit37 #tw: implied/referenced eating disorder #tw: eating issues #tw: eating problems #tw: ed #pro ed dni

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thecarisfucked · 12 days ago

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15 pierresteban fic recs

(in no particular order ❤️)

(the pierre line) (3499 words) by daytrippers Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon, Past Pierre Gasly/Charles Leclerc - Relationship Characters: Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon Additional Tags: Wall Sex, Mentions of choking, Implied/Referenced Disordered Eating, Childhood Friends, Fluff and Smut Summary: Este never really knew it could feel this way, how instinctive it could be.

hallelujah, petrol blues (8145 words) by orphan_account Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon Characters: Esteban Ocon, Pierre Gasly Additional Tags: Enemies to Lovers, Future Fic Summary: It’s 2027. Esteban and Pierre are teammates. It goes—okay.

growing pains (5047 words) by grandprix Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon Characters: Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon Additional Tags: Angst, Non-Linear Narrative, Complicated Relationships, Childhood Friends, Internalized Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content Summary: Esteban thinks he’s figured his own past out, unwound and stared at and digested it, but that’s still something about his childhood he doesn’t like to look into, not deeply, not cruelly, not with scrutiny. He leaves it there. It almost remains innocent, like that, something clueless and soft and indiscernible that made no more sense when he was twelve years old and crossing the last few lines he’d ever draw in the sand before he lost something forever. Maybe it’s cruel, to someone, Pierre or otherwise, to refuse to admit he ever really loved him.

you whom I cannot betray (41161 words) by tetrapod Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon Characters: Esteban Ocon, Pierre Gasly, Charles Leclerc, Ensemble Additional Tags: Childhood to Adulthood, Rough Sex Summary: Pierre and Esteban; from the beginning to another beginning.

yes and (lover lover lover) (13208 words) by tetrapod Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon Characters: Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot Summary: “How --,” Pierre’s voice cracks in his throat. “How do you want it.”

bare your teeth and show me love (1063 words) by gothic_sevgilim Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon, Pierre Gasly/Charles Leclerc Characters: Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, Charles Leclerc Additional Tags: Mentions of other ships, Mostly Pierre and Ocon being toxic to each other, Toxic Relationship, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, Lovers To Enemies, Enemies to Strangers, Not Beta Read, Unhealthy Relationships, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Teammates Summary: They bare their teeth like animals, only then to kiss abruptly and frantically, bruising each other’s lips, biting hard enough to taste blood.

the heart is a muscle (and I wanna make it strong) (6097 words) by bones_2_be Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon Characters: Esteban Ocon, Pierre Gasly Additional Tags: vague dubcon due to the consumption of alcohol but everyone is on board, fuckbuddy frenemies to something more like friends, not quite a five times fic Summary: Esteban and Pierre haven't been friends for a while, but sometimes it's better with the devil you know. In which Pierre and Esteban make dubious and self-destructive life choices, then make still-dubious but less destructive life choices.

my thumb's on your teeth (15476 words) by geluksalig Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon Characters: Esteban Ocon, Pierre Gasly Additional Tags: Parallel Universes, Dreams, Australian Grand Prix 2023 Summary: “Thanks,” Pierre says, afterwards, awkwardly. Esteban shrugs. No one tells him to—not explicitly, anyway. He thinks, if he didn’t want Pierre to race, he wouldn’t have given him a shot of his kart when they were six.

into a jukebox larger than the sun (2044 words) by Anonymous Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon Characters: Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon Additional Tags: Infidelity, Explicit Sexual Content Summary: “It looks good,” Esteban says, sliding his hands a little higher, thumbs falling into the valley of his dimples. “It looks so good, I could take a picture and—” Send it to Charles, he means to say. If he weren’t such a pussy, he would.

Drowning (with you, in you) (1425 words) by Lovely_Lotus Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon Characters: Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon Additional Tags: Brazilian Grand Prix 2024, Character Study, Introspection, Friends to Enemies, Enemies to Lovers, but more like: childhood friends to enemies to yearning to go back to a happier time, Implied Sexual Content, Pining Summary: Only a single thing breaches the water. Two strong arms wrapped around his back, pulling him close. A smile that's beaming at him that makes his heart ache, the face of a friend and enemy and teammate who Pierre almost forgot could direct such a joyful expression at him. A double podium in Brazil makes Pierre think about his relationship with Esteban.

petrichor (3538 words) by septdecoeurs Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon Characters: Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, Charles Leclerc, Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Angst, Brazil 2024, Introspection, Water metaphors, Implied Sexual Content, Making Up, kind of?, Childhood Friends, Reconciliation Summary: Their helmets knock together as Esteban whispers close to his ear, voice sounding thick. “We did it, Pear, finally.” Pierre nods, all his thoughts swirling into a messy amalgamation that is strangled in his throat. He swallows, blinking rapidly, and rests his head against Esteban’s shoulder. It feels like coming home. If anyone notices the wetness on his cheeks, he will blame it on the rain.

Something ends, something begins (6638 words) by CamilleDuDemon Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon Characters: Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon Additional Tags: Romcom Structure, Exes to Lovers, Fix-It, Non-Linear Narrative, Implied Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, post brazil 2024 Summary: Twenty days are reasonable for recovering after such a grueling triple-header. Pierre thinks Esteban won’t text again, so he simply doesn’t hold out much hope – he can be okay with the notion that they’re strangers again, really. It doesn’t really burn, it just…itches, but in a way that cannot be scratched properly. He pushes the thought away, occupies his time with training, golf and whatever shit he feels like doing, because he stepped on a podium during the worst season of his career and he deserves to treat himself, and a week later he’s forced to rethink the situation completely, damn Esteban and his unpredictability. He’s getting ready after some workout, still sauntering around in his microfiber bathrobe, trying his best not to butcher the lyrics of the song that’s blasting from his bluetooth speakers, when the screen of his phone goes off and there he is, the massive fucker, texting him to know what he’s up to during the mini break. Unbelievable. Despite the Cold War they waged on each other for years, Esteban and Pierre reconnect after their joint podium on the Interlagos track, and they fix their relationship one remaining race at a time.

yet again, the jugular (2285 words) by pursuit Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon Characters: Esteban Ocon, Pierre Gasly Additional Tags: Complicated Relationships Summary: Pierre was never really looking at him the way Esteban looked at him.

fractals (8090 words) by maiaronan - (full disclosure, this one is mine!) Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon Characters: Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon Additional Tags: Bedsharing for Warmth, Fucking For Warmth, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, you never forget your first homoerotic teenage situationship etc etc, Lapland Trip 2023, Hand Jobs, Oral Sex Summary: And so it goes. A snake eating its tail, full circle around and around, again and again.

Blue light (9904 words) by Pocket_Girl Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Formula 1 RPF Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pierre Gasly/Esteban Ocon Characters: Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon Additional Tags: Light Angst, Miscommunication, as in they are fundamentally unable to understand each other despite trying, First Kiss, Childhood Friends to Rivals to Strangers to Reluctant Teammates to Lovers, Pierre's canonical phone addiction, Author pretends to understand what F1 teams even do during the off-season, I want to apologize for having jinxed the car with this fic Series: Part 1 of Blue light Summary: “Interview after interview, Pierre sticks to the facts and recites the same phrases. "We're not best friends and we won't be": factual. "I know he wouldn't invite me for dinner": also factual. "I'm fine with that": when he reads it, black on white, squeezed between a picture of them both and an ad for Basic-Fit, it seems right. Appropriate. PR-approved. Esteban has no reason to complain whatsoever.” Or: during the off-season, Esteban texts Pierre about his habit of telling the press they aren't friends. Which makes no sense for him to complain about because it's entirely his fault. Things get worse before they get better.

#pierresteban #f1 rpf #pierresteban fic writers are something else #thank you for all the literal works of art #may the tag keep growing!

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exploredawhatifs · 29 days ago

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1st project of 2025. Collab cover for this amazing story

Dereliktion by @a-midnightdreary

If you haven't read it yet, check it out:

Dereliktion (203592 words) by AMidnightDreary Chapters: 31/31 Fandom: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark Characters: Tony Stark, Loki (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Warriors Three (Marvel), Sif (Marvel) Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Sexual Slavery, Prostitution, Slave Tony Stark, Alternate Universe, Pre-Thor (2011), Complicated Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Attraction, Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, Dom/sub, Dom Tony Stark, Sub Loki (Marvel), Sexually Inexperienced Loki (Marvel), Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Switching, Rough Sex, Bathing/Washing, Power Imbalance, Age Difference, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Hair-pulling, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Eating Disorders, Minor Injuries, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Everyone Has Issues, Asgard sucks, Praise Kink, Dirty Talk, Subspace, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Possessive Behavior, Bit of knifeplay? Idk, Impact Play, Bondage, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Unreliable Narrator, Implied/Referenced Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Captivity, Implied/Referenced Torture, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Healing, Masturbation, Intersex Loki (Marvel), Alien Biology, Temperature Play, Vaginal Sex, Cunnilingus Series: Part 1 of Dereliktion Summary: When the second prince buys him as his personal pleasure slave, Tony is quite certain that he's fucked. It goes both better and worse than he expects.

#fanart #fanfic rec #frostiron #loki x tony #jotun loki #loki #tony stark #digital illustration #procreate

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ao3feed-brucewayne · 3 months ago

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Erstwhile (Bruce Wayne's Teenage Years)

by Forget_Me_Snowdrop “What do you mean Bs been ‘de-aged’?!” Tim’s voice chimed in his ear. “I mean he was here and now there’s an unconscious kid in his place!” The resemblance Bruce had to Damian trying on the batsuit was bordering on uncanny and it set confirmation in Dick’s mind that he had been correct with his assumption this was some sort of de-age situation. Or; While on patrol, Bruce got de-aged to his teenage self that had yet found the outlet which is Batman. It's up to his kids to get him back to his actual age; not without learning that the Bruce they know is so far different from the young Bruce they're with. Words: 2273, Chapters: 1/6, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: Gen Characters: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake (DCU), Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Duke Thomas, Cassandra Cain, Barbara Gordon, Stephanie Brown Relationships: Batfamily Members & Bruce Wayne, Bruce Wayne & Everyone Additional Tags: De-Aged Bruce Wayne, Age Regression/De-Aging, Hurt Bruce Wayne, Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Background Case, Not Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Autistic Bruce Wayne, Teen Bruce Wayne, Young Bruce Wayne, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Jason Todd is a Batfamily Member, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, Bruce Wayne Has Issues, Bruce Wayne Acts Like a Sad Wet Cat, Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, not beta read we die like Thomas and Martha Wayne, Emo Bruce Wayne, but not battinson, Batfamily (DCU), Metahuman Duke Thomas, Depressed Bruce Wayne, not every batfam member lives in the manor, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Injuries, Bruce Wayne Whump, POV Third Person via https://ift.tt/LquTZ7n

#IFTTT #bruce wayne #batman #the dark knight #the caped crusader #gotham #dcu #dc #ao3 #ao3feed

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wangxianficfinder · 9 months ago

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In the mood for...

May 19th

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1. Hii! For the next itmf I was wondering if anyone had anything with wwx resorting to cannibalism after being thrown in the burial mounds?

🔒 the aftertaste of desperation by moonshine (princemin) (M, 4k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Nightmares, Cannibalism, Corpse Eating, Burial Mounds, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Trauma, Panic Attacks, Vomiting, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, welcome to my agenda: let wwx have a breakdown, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

🔒 Three Months, but One Day Shy by mondengel (M, 1k, Angst, Gore, Cannibalism, Horror, 🔒 PodFic by flamingwell)

🔒 my eyes got used to the darkness by curiositykilled (M, 4k, JC & WWX, JC & WWX & JYL, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Body Horror, Implied Cannibalism, Dehumanization, Sunshot Campaign, YLLZ WWX, Demonic Cultivation, PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Ghosts, Disordered Eating, Referenced Animal Abuse, 🔒 PodFic by flamingwell)

a kind of emptiness by ScarlettStorm (E, 11k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Eating Disorders, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorder Recovery, low angst, Happy Ending, seriously in spite of the tags this fic is very soft, Tender smut, Frottage, Praise Kink, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

💖 the absence of hunger by parsnipit (M, 27k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Starvation, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Body Worship, Praise Kink, ft. WWX's really fucked up relationship with food, PTSD, Flashbacks, Blood and Injury, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Cannibalism)

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2. Hii! For the next itmf,

A. I was wondering if there are any fics of wangxian during the opium war? Or any fics set in that time period?

B. Concubine wwx who already has children/yuan falling in love lwj? (Who is not the current emperor/king) @songtaegguk

2B)

Red Lotus Blooming at Sunset by janewritesstuff (Jane_de_Plaine) (E, 18k, WangXian, LXC/WWX, LWJ/WWX/LXC, implied LXC / Other(s), Royalty, Historical, Female WWX, Concubine WWX, Harem, Threesome - F/M/M, Porn With Plot, Consensual Infidelity, Voyeurism, Angst with a Happy Ending, extended tags in author's note, Dark LXC) mind the tags

all rivers flow safely to sea by GenerallyBookish (E, 140k, WangXian, WIP, Angst with a Happy Ending, Memory Loss, Mutual Pining, Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Royalty, Historical, Historical References, Ancient China, Historical Inaccuracy, Happy Ending, Oblivious WWX, A/B/O, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Soft WangXian, Jealousy, Idiots in Love, Strangers to Lovers, Concubine WWX, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Jealous LWJ, Amnesia, Mpreg, Post Mpreg, Fluff and Angst)

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3. ITMF!! Any modern au/college au fics where the ensemble( wwx, nhs, wq, lwj, lxc, jyl , jgy etc) is just one cracky friend group that does dumb shit that likes to fuck around and find out @yesibest

if you ever feel alone, don’t by livinginaworldofnoise (G, 25k, wangxian, Modern, College/University, Texting, group chat au, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, everyone is chaotic but especially wwx, disaster bi wwx, Matchmaking, Bad Matchmaking, maybe a splash of light angst just for fun, the most dumbassery u have ever seen, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, an unholy amount of miscommunication really, chatfic, now with a bonus valentine’s day chapter, Podfic Available)

Carefully Orchestrated Plans (no strings attached) by Maledictius (T, 101k, WangXian, SongXiao, ChengSang, XuanLi, MianQing, NingYu, Modern AU, Chatting & Messaging, Orchestra, Fluff and Humor, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gossip)

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4. Hello, love an appreciate what you’re doing it’s amazing. For the next itmf, There was a fic finder that was asking for wangxian Addams family aus, and I read all of the suggestions bc I love Addams family aus, do you know of any more in the same vein?

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5. Hi all I hope you are doing well and recovery fast this is a request for ITMF I’m looking for a fic where lan zhan is the flirt to wei ying and not the other way around ❤️ @red-spacekitten

Our Eyes on the Road by etymologyplayground (E, 22k, WangXian, PWP, Getting Together, Road Trips, Modern, Intimacy, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Humor, Banter, Oral Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Hand Jobs, Car Sex, Hotel Sex, Dirty Talk, Rimming, Coming Untouched, Sexual Tension, Come Eating) #5 is a hard one in that I can't think of fics where Lan Zhan is overtly flirtatious like Wei Ying is, so here are some ones where Lan Zhan is pursuing Wei Ying in his own way lol

gotta get lost (if you wanna be found) by Spodumene (E, 27k, WangXian, Modern, High School via Flashbacks, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Underage Kissing, Identity Porn, Dubcon of the Phoenix Mountain variety, Eventual Smut, Overstimulation, Mild CNC Play, Getting Together, Happy Ending)

Love 'em and leave 'em fast by danegen (E, 23k, WangXian, Modern, Set in America, POV WWX, meet creepy, rough but fairly vanilla sex, Bisexual WWX; LWJ FUCKS, not a coffee shop au, not NOT a coffee shop AU, but a secret third thing that sometimes involves a coffee shop)

🔒 Take my heart by LadyKG (Not rated, 22k, wangxian, Fix-It, WWX POV, Time Travel, WWX is oblivious but not THAT oblivious thank fuck, JC is done with Wifi’s shit, LXC is an angel, but when isn’t he lbh, author is biased because of love for characters)

Back up and dream again by The Silverfish (ZephyrAndTheSilverfish) (T, 3k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, Fix-It, Time Travel, Fluff, Flirting, Cute, Embarrassed WWX)

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6. Hi, 👋

Itmf

Are there any works where

A) WY parents prepared him for emergency (if they die). May be survival skills or maybe survival kit and alert to a friend.

B) WY parents taught him not to allow others belittle him (abuse)

C) WY parents told him to not become a Jiang disciple

Thank you!

6A)

Forked Path by nirejseki (G, 3k, WWX/WRH, Sect Leader Nie/WRH, WRH & Sect Leader Nie, WWX is more mentioned than appearing, Sir Not Appearing In This Fic, despite it being about him, Canon Divergence, WX Not Raised In the Jiang, Somewhat crack) I'm not sure if this one counts because it's a rare pair (Wen Ruohan/Wei Wuxian) where Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze make a deal with Wen Ruohan for him to take Wei Wuxian in to the Wen Sect if they die, specifically because they don't want him to be raised in the streets or by the Jiang sect.

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7. Hi 👋🏼 Thanks for your amazing work . For the next itmf can you plz recommend some fics where the Jiang Cheng (or both Jiang Siblings) are older than Wei Ying . Like at least a few years, 3 to 5 or more , and they protect him .Preferably a complete work ❤️

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8. itmf some didn't-know-we-were-dating type fics! any where one of wwx or lwj think they're dating or engaged and the other one doesn't know. any manner of we're-just-hanging-out or fwb or it's-just-casual-between-us is good. thanks!

without your new eyes by anaphoricae (E, 66k, WangXian, Modern, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Sexuality Discovery, Self-Discovery, Literal Sleeping Together, (there is so much sleeping in this fic), mentions of WWX/others and LWJ/others, Drunk LWJ, Teacher LWJ, WWX is a… throws dart… computer scientist, No Angst, Jealous WWX, Flirty WWX, Eventual Smut, Bottom LWJ, Fluff, Non-Sexual Intimacy, WWX's Love Language is Physical Touch, Guess what: even more non-sexual sleeping together, the plot of the fic is just… co-sleeping, call it the Nap Fic ™, Podfic Available, WWX isn't so much 'oblivious' as he is wilfully blocking some feelings subconsciously, WWX 'idk how I feel' to 'I'm gonna marry him' pipeline)

so hot you're hurting my feelings by isabilightwood (E, 40k, WangXian, JYL/WQ, Modern, Oblivious LWJ, Didn't Know They Were Dating, no moms were harmed in the making of this fic, mama lan took LQR in the divorce, LWJ Has Friends, all wwx characterization decisions were made to make lwj pine harder for his own boyfriend, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Bottom LWJ, Halloween, WWX's birthday, Sub LWJ, Light Dom/sub, Spanking)

be still, my foolish heart by mirrorofprinces (E, 6k, WangXian, Modern, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Blow Jobs, Shower Sex, Misunderstandings, One innocent rabbit who did nothing wrong, based on a reddit post, Getting Together)

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9. looking for fics where wwx didn't die and was soon made aware of lwj's punishment. wwx going mad about it? sure. wwx nearly wiping out the lans? sure. wwx kidnapping lwj? sure. Any recommendations please

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10. Hi! For the next ITMF post, can you recommend some fics where after wwx gets resurrected by mxy he is in pain and doesn't know what happend and then lwj shows up with the juniors and he's like 'lan zhan, help me' and he falls into his arms. Actually I don't really remember if it's a specific fic or just in the mood for something similar, but thank you for time ♥

🔒 they do not fall to earth by LtLJ (G, 2k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Episode Related, CQL canon, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst)

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11. Hi all! In the mood for post-canon fics with a focus on Wei Wuxian and Jin Ling bonding? Thank you!

singing through the dark by twigofwillow (G, 13k, JL & WWX, WangXian, Post-Canon, Yunmeng bros reconciliation if you squint, angst with a tiny bit of fluff)

Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 63k, WangXian, WWX & JL, Post-Canon, Protective WWX, Protective JL, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Reluctant Matchmaker JL)

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12. Do you know of any wheelchair use wwx that isn't thread of love? Thank you so much mods for being amazing 🩵🩵🩵

How did I end up with this Frozen Heart? by Grace_ShadowWolf (TaubeLePigeon) (T, 53k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-It, PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, YP!WWX, twin prides of yunmeng are horrified at the relationship between their future selves, YP!WWX has short hair, Canon Divergence, Self-Indulgent, wangxian get together early, Songfic, JC Bashing, LXC Bashing)

Gentians of Yesterday by KobaltBlu (G, 11k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Paralyzed WWX, Lan WWX)

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13. hi for itmf do you know any fics where wwx knows lwj doesnt love him back? but in the end lwj does love him back. similar to sarah-yyy’s rebuttable presumption verse. thank you sm!

When the Words Stop Coming by mrcformoso (T, 7k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Canonical Character Death, Love Confessions, Rejection, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trauma, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending)

Blooming You a Garden Inside Me by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 66k, WangXian, WIP, Hanahaki Disease, LWJ's inability to understand his feelings, LWJ being a meanie, WWX's first life, Angst, Happy Ending, Pain, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Good Sibling JC, Jiang siblings, One-Sided WWX/WN, Good Friends, everyone loves mr. sunshine, POV Multiple, JC & WWX Talk About Feelings, JZX & WWX Friendship, Good Sibling LXC)

Regret Blossoms by piecrust (G, 7k, WangXian, Hanahaki Disease)

For you by 10thNoNamePerson (T, 17k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Canon Divergence, No War AU, Teen Wangxian, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jealous WWX, Soft LWangXian, No Sunshot Campaign)

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14. Hi!! For the next itfm: does anyone have anything with Wei Wuxian getting triggered? I would prefer if it's post canon but everything is fine tbh! Thank you ♡ @menimimimeni

Home, Family; a Safe Feeling by Thinking_of_Wolfie_Fluff (T, 6k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Bittersweet, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Gusu Lan Forehead Ribbon, Gusu Lan Sect, Post-Canon, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Soft WangXian, Married WangXian, WWX Loves LWJ, WangXian in Love, WangXian Get a Happy Ending)

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (E, 23k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, discussion of canon character death, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Getting Together, Yearning, Literal Sleeping Together, Really Excessive Amounts of Hurt/Comfort)

The most dangerous thing is to love by KatAnni (E, 113k, WangXian, Golden Core Reveal, Fix-It, Everybody Lives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence, Hurt!WWX, Found Family, Implied/Referenced Torture, POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Cannibalism, Panic Attacks, PTSD, Golden Core Transfer, Golden Core Transfer Fix-it, Medical Procedures, Fainting, Major Character Injury, Blood and Injury, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Asexual JC, homophobia doesn’t exist here, Marriage Proposal, Marriage, Wedding Night, Whump) It's divergent rather than post-canon.

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15. Do you know any fic where, when Wei Wuxian dies, his Golden Core (in JC) vanishes?

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16. heyy admins how are u guys? itmf more longer fics like twelve moons and a fortnight by stiltonbasket? thank you! ❤️

The River Runs Forever by Cerusee (T, 257k, wangxian, JYL & WWX & JC, NHS/JYL, WWX & NHS, character death, BAMF WWX, inventor WWX, sect leader WWX)

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17. I wanted fics where wangxian are killers or partners in crime. It could be every type of fic you know. I just want some where they kill and are loving @quwieiidkd

silhouettes to steal this night by moonsteps (T, 51k, WangXian, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Modern, Assassins & Hitmen, Roommates, Rivals to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Identity Porn, Violence, Blood and Injury, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Secret Identity)

🔒 For good by apathyinreverie (M, 6k, WangXian, Modern, mafia, everyone is a little darker, lxc really needs to practice those people skills, general warning for JGS, Domestic WangXian, Praise Kink, Simp LWJ, BAMF WWX)

So Full Of Love (Wouldn’t Know Where to Start) by witchupbitch (M, 63k, WIP, WangXian, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Possessive LWJ, Protective LWJ, Blood and Violence, Idiots in Love, Humor, Mafia AU, Modern AU, Flirting, shameless WWX, Confident WWX, Explicit Language, Mutual Sexual Tension, dark LWJ, Dark WWX, Exhibitionism Sex, Possessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings)

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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