#implied unsympathetic logan and virgil

[pencilpat]

How did the fandom allow 'sympathetic' and 'unsympathetic' tags to even happen. Like I suppose the dark sides do come across as scary in their initial appearances, I know Janus got me good pretending to be Patton but... They were both very clearly hurting and hidden parts of Thomas who had been stifled and locked away for a while. Their methods are flashy but both Remus and Janus believe they're benefiting Thomas.

As a DID system, it reminds me of the system role persecutor-protector - the dark sides believe what they're doing will benefit Thomas, whether Deceit through lies or The Duke through extreme honesty or Anxiety by being too scary to ignore, but the ways that they protect Thomas cause him distress and/or fear. Janus was unveiled to be self-preservation as much as he is dishonesty, implying that Thomas learned to lie early on as part of his survival. And Remus, while we don't know much about him yet, is repressed imagination and religious trauma as much as he is intrusive thoughts. He has ideas and thoughts about Thomas's content that are very valid, as far as the slight babying of his audience and unwillingness to confront the dark parts of himself. They have good traits that are genuinely helpful, but their aggressive ways of attempting to help and express themselves are instead making the "good" parts of Thomas feel like he's a bad person.

Calling them unsympathetic feels so counterproductive to the story and the lessons being taught. You're doing exactly what the light sides do to them by declaring them too scary to look at, and worthy of being repressed and shunned. I feel like this won't ever be understood by the fanbase until the other dark sides get an equivalent of 'Accepting Anxiety'. But that shouldn't have to happen. It's a total lack of sympathy to look at the survival mechanisms and intrusive thoughts of a mentally ill character and declare them 'unsympathetic' as though they're cartoon villains. It may be fiction, but the thoughts and opinions you express about those parts of Thomas are heard and internalized by people like me, who are sick in the same ways as character!Thomas. OCD is a blight on my life, but the portrayal of methods to work through your intrusive thoughts and the reassurances Logan gave to let Thomas know that he is not a bad person for having them? That meant so much to me. Remus means so much to me. Seeing people turn around and do exactly what Patton, Virgil, and Roman do to them, labeling them as "wrong" somehow and pushing them to a place you don't have to see them, it hurts. It has real world effects on how people talk about people like me with 'dark' parts of themself.

Every part of Thomas has the ability to be both bad and good, because Thomas is not perfect. No one is perfect, and someone appearing dark or aggressive in their self expression doesn't always make them unworthy of empathy or understanding. Those parts of Thomas never deserved to be deemed as 'wrong' in the first place, and the story is about unpacking that thinking, slowly and painfully as it may go.

[mysisypheannightmare]

Malfunction

Word Count: 10530

Warnings: Hurt No Comfort, heavy angst, extreme crying (seriously, it’s A LOT), suicidal behavior/attempted suicide, multiple instances of self-harm, injury, biting, brief mentions of blood, choking/strangulation, difficulty breathing, extreme amounts of negative thinking, self-loathing, panic attack/anxiety attack, mental breakdown, pushing past emotional/mental limits, overworking, sensory processing issues, partial mutism/struggling through mutism, denied help when asked, insomnia, implied sleep-deprivation, stress, depression, anxiety, brief explicit language, other sides & Thomas misunderstanding the situation and reacting poorly (NOT unsympathetic)

Notes: Please heed these warnings. This is a long and intense fanfic that is essentially 99% pure angst. It is also mostly based on personal experience, so I don’t fully know how to tag some of it. If you have tag suggestions, please let me know and I’ll add it to the warning tags.

There is an additional note at the end.

And shoutout to @intrulogical for the perfect idea that sparked this fic! It really turned into its own kind of monster in the end...

If you're ready, please enjoy!

–

He really should have expected something to go wrong.

Logan had only been given a single day before the deadline to get everything ready.

Roman had come up with a new video idea, throwing out the old plan all because he'd had what he decided to call a "sudden stroke of creative genius" just yesterday. Logan had offered that they stick with their initial plan and work the new idea into next month's schedule instead, but Roman had refused. He’d been so insistent that the new idea couldn't wait, that he had slaved away in his own room all day to construct the new script, so all he needed was the proper research done and a quick look over for any typos...which, of course, would fall to Logan's department. Unwilling to hear Logan out about having to rearrange the schedule on such short notice, Roman left Logan with a pile of papers, notes, and a memo pad full of lyrics for a song he would be adding on top of everything, and there was very little Logan could do but, well, his job.

He had sighed, organized the papers enough to find the research topics he needed to collect data on, and got to work.

As he'd informed Roman, he had to completely rearrange his schedule for the day to accommodate the new, daunting task before him. Pushing aside his own priorities was simple enough, but he'd have to let the other sides know that he'd need to postpone his prior arrangements with them, and he'd have to find a way to make Roman's new plan work around Thomas' necessary evening and nightly tasks. With them filming first thing the very next day, Logan would have to be sure Thomas had everything set up and ready before he went to bed that night or they'd be behind schedule for the shoot, which would only make things worse.

Thankfully, Thomas had already expected this and needed little persuading, and Virgil was willing to step in and make sure Thomas double-checked everything before turning in for the night.

But then he had to keep reminding Thomas to get off his phone and sleep already so he wouldn't be tired in the morning, which kept distracting Logan from getting his research done.

Once Thomas had finally fallen asleep, Logan tried his best to focus in on the main topic Roman had chosen. While he kind of hoped Roman's sudden change of plans would at least include information he was already privy to, he could never be so lucky.

So, instead, he would be up all night, foregoing any sleep so he could learn as much as possible about the psychological nuances of obsession and passion, Roman’s apparent ‘genius’ topic idea. Collecting data and cross-referencing Roman's new script was time-consuming, but he was certain he could get most of it done in time for the shoot.

Logan glanced down at the clock. 12:18am. See? Plenty of time to get everything ready.

He flipped a page of the script to find dozens upon dozens of hand-written notes from Roman, some kind of last-moment addition where he wanted more detail about obsession included in a particular scene. Oh boy, Logan really was about to be in for a long night...

–

After having opened the thirtieth medical article on this topic, Logan wanted nothing more than to just close everything down and crawl into bed, consequences be damned. But, no, he had a job to do, so it didn't matter if he was tired.

He glanced down at the clock. 4:08am.

Okay, just another four hours and fifty-two minutes before Thomas was scheduled to get up. He leaned back in his desk chair and looked over at the stack of papers he still had left to review. He'd made it over halfway through already, and that likely left just enough time to finish the research and a quick glance-over for typos before Thomas got up in the morning. So, right on time, then.

His gaze drifted back to the article pulled up on his computer when his mind harshly reminded him that he would need to review his schedule before deciding he had the right amount of time left, as he couldn't ignore Thomas' direct tasks in the morning, no matter how much importance Roman placed on his script.

Welcoming the distraction from research for a bit, Logan opened his schedule and verified what had been moved and postponed to accommodate Roman's change of plans.

Thomas' morning routine was still intact, but there was clear overlap in the final prep time for filming and Logan's research window, especially considering he had to put off his prior arrangements yesterday evening with all the other sides so he'd have to be ready for any questions that may arise. And since they would be filming that morning, there were bound to be a lot of questions.

Logan sighed. Okay, so he didn't have as much time as anticipated, but that was fine. He could probably just pick up his pace for now to make sure the workload would be completed efficiently.

And that's when he noticed a missed schedule change from yesterday that hadn't been moved or postponed. In regards to some missing files that he hadn't been able to locate before the prior episode’s filming day, which had caused a whole uproar due to the lack of memorized information Thomas needed to rely on. He had set the time aside to verify the files' whereabouts for the day right before the shoot this time so he could be sure he had it and wouldn't lose it before the filming began, to keep Thomas from worrying about it for an extended period and to maintain Logan’s own reputation as being reliable to Thomas and the others.

But he hadn't done it. He'd completely skipped over it because he had prioritized it as a personal task, but when he rescheduled his whole day, he had set all his personal tasks to low priority or removed them so he would have adequate time for Roman's necessary script changes. But this one task hadn't been removed due to its importance, and yet he'd completely forgotten about it.

He stood up, wanting to go find the files right away, but the sudden movement knocked some of Roman's papers and notes to the floor and he hastily scrambled to pick them back up.

He set them back on the desk. The pile was only half-finished. If he paused the research now, it wouldn't be done before filming started. But if he didn't find the missing files, Thomas would find him unreliable! He had specifically asked Logan to locate the missing information, but Roman had demanded this research be done on time, too!

Logan looked down at his hands to find them shaking.

Odd.

He ignored it and sat down to look back over his schedule. Surely there was something else he could remove from his morning tasks to give him some extra time?

The only priorities were Thomas' morning routine, the preparations for filming, and being available to answer questions. Oh, that's right, he would have to be readily available for any questions from the others leading up to the filming start time, which meant he couldn't be back in the library storage locating the files at that time.

Well, scratch that idea then. But maybe he could power through the research during the questions time. Or maybe there wouldn't be as many questions as usual, giving him that tiny bit more leeway?

Or, perhaps he could create a list of frequently asked questions and answers for the others to quickly reference so that they wouldn't need to ask him-- oh no, wait, then he'd have to take time creating the list and making copies for everyone, so he'd only lose more time that way.

He looked down at the clock again. 4:32am. 

He gawked. Had he wasted that much time on this already? How was he going to get anything done on time now?

His vision seemed to swim for a moment and he grabbed onto the edge of his desk to keep himself steady. What on earth was that all about? 

He raised a hand to adjust his glasses, for some reason thinking that may help, only to notice he was breathing really heavily.

Well, that was rather impractical, he thought. He was metaphysical, and therefore shouldn't need to breathe. So why exactly was he breathing so quickly and heavily?

Oh, wait, right, that was called hyperventilating. Why was he hyperventilating then?

His mind seemed to race at the implication, supplying him with everything he'd deduced up to that moment - how he'd have to resolve the deadline problem in another way if at all possible, how there was so much he still hadn't gotten done yet, and how he definitely seemed to be overwhelmed at the moment.

That wasn't good.

He didn't notice that he was swaying the second time and fell right out of his chair and onto the floor, now aware he was quite nauseous and that his head seemed to be pounding with a growing headache.

Why was this happening? What was wrong with him??

This was very unusual, given he didn't often lose balance or display any symptoms of illness. It wasn't unheard of, sure, but it certainly didn't come out of nowhere like this, for no discerning reason.

He tried to bring a hand up to his face again, only to immediately fall forward and land flat on the floor.

His first thought was to try to sit up, but his energy seemed to completely disappear and he just laid there uselessly. This was such a waste of time, on top of everything he'd already learned about the schedule and his inability to properly redistribute necessary tasks... How could he have let this happen?

He wouldn't normally make such an enormous error, would he? No, something had to be wrong here. Some kind of glitch or malfunction he hadn't noticed until it had started to wreak havoc on him like this.

How could he have let it go unnoticed, though?

It wasn't until his glasses began to fog up that he realized he was crying, too, and once he noticed that, it seemed to increase by a ridiculous amount. What must have started as a mere trickle was now a faucet on full blast, and he could hear himself begin to sob loudly. 

He somehow sat up just barely then, clutching at his head as he became even more light-headed and dizzy from that one simple action and all the noise he was making.

How could this be happening? Why had things gone so wrong?

Aware enough to at least take stock of what was occuring, he noted he was still hyperventilating while also crying, and before he could move onto the next symptom of whatever this problem was, he squeezed his eyes shut and started screaming.

Like the crying wasn't disruptive enough, his screams seemed to bounce off every wall around him, the floor beneath him echoing the clamorous cacophony right back into his ears, sounding so desperate and terrified.

Neither the sobbing nor screaming would cease when he tried to force it to stop, it just wouldn’t stop, and it only seemed to get louder and louder.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

He must have broken something in his usual coding and this had been the result, or it was due to crossed wires or something coming loose. That was the only thing that could explain how horrible he was acting right now, and how awful this felt.

But it didn’t matter how it felt, he just needed it to stop.

He had to make it stop.

But how?

His mind was racing, trying to sift through the multiple mistakes he'd already made in less than a day, with many more in the past and soon to be more in the future ready to add on to the pile. The moment he tried to think of proposing a solution to the source of all this - the timing error - he couldn't get to the next step in weighing his options and the idea's many variables because his mind would suddenly flood in with more problems. It left his ears ringing and his jaw feeling sore from all his own crying and screaming.

How had he let this get so out of hand? What was he supposed to do if he couldn't think straight long enough to fix it?

What if he couldn’t fix it?

Surely this wasn’t just happening because he'd messed something up with his workload, even if that was obviously an unfixable mistake and meant that he had ruined everything and it’dl been all his fault... But the action had simply caused something in his brain to misfire and resulted in all this bizarre stuff, instead of something understandable, like a standard level of trepidation or a marginal amount of stress, just enough to motivate him to keep going.

This? This was not normal. And it was far from understandable.

He rubbed at his eyes, trying to stop all the tears.

But the root cause of the issue was his mistake. So if he tried to focus his attention on fixing that specific part, maybe then he could fix the rest of it?

It was worth a shot!

He had no idea what other options he had left, though…

But maybe he could ask someone else for a new suggestion? If his mind was rendered temporarily faulty and he wasn’t capable of thinking clearly, maybe there was an answer he wasn't aware of that he could try instead? He'd just have to ask someone... 

But who?

–

Shoving his fist to his mouth to quiet the incessant sobbing and possibly pause the hyperventilating, Logan had managed to get himself up on wobbly knees and then to his feet without falling over again. It was hard to keep quiet, as his mind seemed to fog over the moment he was standing and any thought that came through caught more crying in his throat. Once he made it to his door and got it open, he pulled both hands to his mouth, trying to force himself silent to keep from waking anyone.

He'd not bothered to check the time again, but with how dark it was in the hallway, he assumed not much time had passed yet. Perhaps he ought to have been grateful for that.

He stumbled as quietly as he could to the first door he saw upon exiting his room - Patton's.

Even though he couldn't really think of a legitimate reason to ask for his help with his mind so hazy, he figured Patton would probably be someone with an idea of what to do next, even if it didn't work. Logan just needed to try something, anything, at this point!

He removed one hand to knock on Patton's door, but it somehow managed to wind up slammed against the door instead, like he'd been throwing a punch.

What the hell was wrong with him? Maybe Patton could figure that much out?

If Patton couldn't come up with a solution to the scheduling problem, perhaps he could have some idea why Logan was suddenly malfunctioning like this?

He tried to knock again, and this time nearly completely whiffed trying to connect with the door. He really wished he could get this under control. He was so worthless like this, wasting time when he should have been researching.

Oh geez, the research! He clutched at his head, stress flooding in all over again. He hadn't even bothered to tab through the remaining pages to properly estimate how far along he could get before the deadline inevitably emerged.

Without warning, or at least none he'd been made aware of, the door in front of Logan swung open, revealing a very tired-looking Patton standing just inside, sans glasses.

Oh, good, now Logan could ask for his help and resolve the first part of this problem! But what about the malfunction? He still hadn't been able to stop crying, but crying was something Patton understood, right? It was some kind of an emotions thing. Was this an emotions thing then? Surely that meant Patton would be the exact side to consult about this!

Logan pulled away his other hand and attempted to speak, but all that came out was a jumbled mess of sounds and an obnoxiously loud sob.

He hadn't intended to be so noisy, especially since it was still so late, but he seemed to have no control over his volume, either. The tears only seemed to pick up at that thought and he tried to see Patton through them, but everything was just a blur now.

Patton wore an unreadable expression then, made even more impossible for Logan to decipher as his vision shifted and blurred behind all the unstoppable tears.

"Uhm, Logan, I..." Patton stammered out, looking at him with confusion. "I can't really understand you."

Logan shook his head, intending to try again, but the crying and sobbing were now back in full force and he tried to shove a hand over his mouth at the same time that he spoke.

"It's... The-- the time," he tried. "I need... P-please..."

He couldn't seem to get half of a word out before he was suddenly inhaling as much breath as he could, cutting himself off each time. The sentence he tried hadn't made any sense and the crying and hyperventilating only made it that much harder to understand.

This malfunction was ruining everything!

Patton frowned, and Logan shoved his hands over his mouth immediately, finally recognizing a sob was about to come moments before it did. The lack of air left him dizzy again, but he focused on Patton. Maybe he could at least have an idea of something to try? Anything, anything, please!

Patton sighed.

"Logan, I'm sorry, I just... I don't know how to help if I can't even understand you." He glanced away and then back, adding, "Just go and calm down first, okay?"

And then he shut the door.

Logan stood there, silent. The sobbing seemed to have stopped, possibly from how off-guard he'd been made from Patton's decision just then.

He hadn't expected that at all.

A hiccup escaped him, followed by another loud sob, and he rushed back to his room and slammed the door behind him before the screaming could start back up again.

What were his options now?

Patton had said to calm down, but did that mean he knew what this was? Was this normal? Were emotions always like this?

If Patton wasn't bothered by the display, then that meant something, right? Surely that indicated this was just how emotions worked... So maybe he wasn't broken, after all! He was still usable like this, he just needed to figure out how to shut the emotions part off so he could get back to being productive.

He just had to fix it.

He stumbled forward, trying to make his way back to his desk chair.

The other sides had emotions, too, but they weren't as loud and annoying as he was being right now, so that indicated there had to be an off switch, some way to maintain better control. He just needed to find whatever that was so this would stop being so disruptive and he could get back to work. He couldn't keep wasting everyone's time.

He had a deadline to meet.

The very second that thought processed in his mind, the screaming returned in full force. He tried shoving his hands over his mouth but the screaming persisted. He had to make this stop! There had to be something that would work! 

He let go, looking around, hoping to find something that might help. 

The quick movement jostled his glasses on his face, and he swung his hand up to catch them, effectively hitting himself in the side of the head. Without further thought to the action, he found himself balling up both hands into fists, now smacking himself on both sides of his head repeatedly.

Why was he doing this?

Why wouldn't this just stop?? 

Why wasn't there just a mute button or an off switch? Why was this system so complicated that there could be no simple solution to the mess it caused??

Hit after hit against the side of his head made the headache he'd noticed earlier grow stronger, the thoughts on his mind seeming to slow from their rampant and racing pace.

He managed to stop one of his hands before he landed another hit, and glanced over at his hand before sucking in a shaky breath.

Oh, right, the crying still hadn't stopped.

He was still uselessly wasting time.

He squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to think, to focus. He lowered his hands, everything both inside and out of him seeming uneasy and tense.

Patton had said to calm down. Maybe he needed to start with that.

Oh wait, maybe he just needed to refocus on the task at hand? The research!

He wasn’t sure what he would typically do to calm down. He wasn’t sure he ever needed to calm himself before, as most flares of emotions or bizarre behavior would only spark and burn out quickly. There was no need to calm down before now. What was a method that should work?

Perhaps a menial task?

He stumbled over to his desk and sat down, trying to hold his breath at intervals to get it steady again. Was it ever steady? That didn't matter. He held his breath for a few moments then inhaled again, trying to get the hyperventilating under control as he leaned towards his computer. 

He returned to the medical journal he'd been starting to read earlier (he stopped himself from checking the clock again to see just how long ago that had been), but he could barely see through the tears, everything blurring at the edges. He wiped at his eyes incessantly, trying to stay focused.

Just read. Get the information, add it to the notes as necessary, and get the job done. 

He held his breath again, but a sob broke out from behind his gritted teeth. The moment the sob broke free, it would grow into a scream. The screaming-sobbing was so loud and annoying, still seeming to bounce off the walls around him whenever he thought to tune back in to notice. 

It was normal, though, he had to remind himself. This was fine. He just had to focus on the research and it would go away. 

This will work. It had to!

It didn't, though. He went on like that for nearly half an hour, having finally bothered to check the clock. He'd made minimal progress, notably from having to stop reading periodically because his vision was still swimming at times and he was repeatedly feeling lightheaded from constantly trying to hold his breath and failing. 

Clearly, the screaming sobs and constant hyperventilating had to stop. If he could get those parts under control, he could keep focused and everything else would fix itself.

He resisted covering his mouth right away, mind now switching tasks to try to solve this issue for good.

There had to be a way to get his breathing back to normal.

The thoughts didn't immediately connect together but he looked down at his hand and, after another blink to clear the tears, he found himself biting into the back of it, hard. 

The screaming now sounded muffled, but only just barely, so he bit down harder. His hand spasmed for a moment and pain shot through his wrist and up his arm.

He could taste blood. Gross.

He could feel his hand throbbing against his teeth, overtaking the slight buzzing sensation from his muffled cries against his skin. His jaw began to ache from holding it in place, but he ignored it.

This...wasn't so bad.

It was somewhat freeing, the pain in his hand warring against the overwhelming thoughts in his mind. He could sense the pushback, like the pain wanted nothing more than to win out.

He adjusted his jaw and bit down again, just as hard. The taste of blood flooded his senses alongside the searing pain.

And that was when he realized... the screaming had stopped. Oh god, and his arm hurt more than he'd ever thought possible, but the screaming had stopped!

He let go, and immediately saw the terrible bite marks and blood on the back of his hand. That didn't look pleasant, but at least it worked! He almost smiled at this small point of victory, but he lifted his hand and stared forward, ready to ride this rush to get back on track.

Unfortunately, it only took a few moments of trying to type before he had to stop because he kept dripping blood onto his keyboard, plus his hand was still randomly cramping and spasming from the pain, so he decided to get up and wrap his hand in a bandage for the time being.

The bleeding had stopped and was taken care of fairly quickly, but flexing his hand even just a tiny bit would send pain shooting up his forearm and down his fingertips, so he tried to stay aware of that as he stepped back towards his desk.

He noticed his mind seemed far clearer than it was minutes ago. From the decision to take care of his hand to the far quieter state of his room without all the screaming, he supposed Patton's suggestion really had worked.

He felt something drop on his uninjured hand and, upon seeing the drop of water, he realized he was still crying quite profusely, but clearly not as loudly and obnoxiously. He wiped away the incessant tears, but was grateful he'd at least managed to get the screaming part to stop. That was still progress, he assumed.

He sucked in a breath. Ah, he was still breathing bizarrely, but not quite as severely as he was earlier when he was hyperventilating. Definitely marked progress! That meant there really was a way to fix this, he just needed to try harder.

He took a seat and stared at the clock on his computer. 5:51am.

He ignored the pulsating pain in his hand that seemed to marginally increase as he ran the math in his head, seeing he only had three hours and nine minutes left before Thomas would be up and the research would be due.

He could hear the occasional light drips of tears as they fell onto his desk while he opened his research notes file on the computer to verify where he'd last left off.

And that's when he noticed, now that his mind was clear enough to see, multiple typos made in the last paragraph he'd typed. 

Shit.

Without hesitation, the hyperventilating returned in full force as he scrambled to correct every typo he could find. As he kept clicking further back into the document, he found more and more errors, and it quickly dawned on him that he'd have to recheck the entire file and all the ones he'd written before it, too. With the submission deadline fast approaching, he knew there wouldn't be time. He was already behind, and they expected this to be done and without all these pointless errors! 

What the hell was he supposed to do?

He squeezed his eyes shut, tears picking up again, and pain in his hand throbbing when he forced it into a fist and slammed it down on the desk. Fuck, that hurt!

He was supposed to have been making progress, but now things were even worse than they were before! He'd wasted all this time for nothing and he was right back at square one again!

He tried to catch his breath before any sobbing could return. The hyperventilating made him feel faint even faster than last time and he leaned forward, his eyes fixing on his bandaged hand. Why had that only worked for such a short while? Why had it worked at all?

He leaned down to try biting it again, but his hand was still already throbbing in pain. 

Perhaps the other hand would be better? No, what if doing that hindered his ability to type fast enough or even at all? Small progress was better than no progress at this point, so there had to be something else.

He leaned back in his chair a bit, his mind starting to fog again. 

Oh, no, that wasn’t good! He hadn’t even gotten anything useful done yet!

A jolt of pain ran up his arm and he reached up to cover his mouth again, knowing another sob was about to break out.

This wasn’t working.

The cry broke free anyway and rang loudly in his ears, the sound reverberating off the walls again, somehow still louder after all the short but cherished moments of silence he’d had in the meantime.

He slowly dropped his hands down to his neck, curling his fingers around each side. Without time to let a thought pass, he squeezed. Tight but not too tight, just enough to slightly hurt, just enough to get the breathing to stop for a moment, whether it was the hyperventilating or otherwise. 

He felt a tingling sensation in his mouth, then the tingling traveled down to his chest. It was strong, almost overwhelming, numbing out the pain in his hand, and his mind provided no indication of what any of that should mean. 

But then his chest heaved and he let go, sputtering. He grabbed at the tie around his neck, pushing and pulling it away, to help him breathe again. He felt at his neck with a few fingers and then pulled them away as the sensation against his skin began to sting. 

He sucked in a breath and then exhaled....normally. Wait, that had worked? He was back to breathing normally again, albeit with large gulps of air at first, but no hyperventilating! He stared down at his hands, amazed that had worked so quickly, so efficiently.

He'd done it. This was the answer! 

Staying focused, redirecting the pain when it overwhelmed him - it was a fast enough turnaround with minimal side effects that he could keep working!

It was perfect.

Even more enthused than his last bout of victory and progress, he leaned forward in his chair and went right back to work.

Based on the time he had left, he'd have to just power through into the questioning period to properly verify that the script pages and his notes of research were all submittable before the deadline, but that should be far more achievable now. Besides, he'd foregone sleep to do that plenty of times in the past without problem, and with this new process to keep his breathing maintained and steady, it should be simple.

Though his neck now occasionally ached, joining the continuing pulsing pain in his bandaged hand, Logan flipped another page of Roman's script, determined to get as much of this work done as he possibly could on time.

Some progress was still better than no progress, so he just needed to get close enough. Not that anything he did was ever enough, but he just had to accept that for now.

He pointedly ignored the clock again, and only paused every now and then to wipe away the tears that continued to trickle out for the next hour, silent and steady, as if he somehow held an endless supply within him. It was surprising he hadn't been able to stop, after all this time that had passed. He figured it had to stop on its own eventually, but more would always come.

Multitasking just a bit as he got near the end of the pile, he organized the files as he went, preparing them for the deadline. He readied everything he needed and tried not to allow any further delay. Forcing himself to stay on task, despite only the slightest pauses to deal with the constant silent tears, seemed to work.

His mind was still at odds with his goal here, but he couldn't deny that progress was being made. That was what mattered here, the rest of it was just a hindrance anyway.

And while he didn't feel calm, he figured that perhaps his misunderstanding of emotions had merely skewed his ability to recognize what that was meant to feel like. Maybe this was what was normal, and he'd finally achieved it? That should be a good thing. He should be satisfied.

–

By the time he was down to the last four pages of the script, just the barest pieces left, it was already well into the morning. Thomas hadn't woken up yet, as expected, and Logan considered his options as his new tasks were about to come due.

After he completed the last few pages, he would need to quickly review the full script as well as his own notes, checking for errors and typos. It shouldn't take too long, so long as there weren't too many mistakes. While he was doing that, he could remain available for questions regarding the shoot that would start in a couple hours. 

The missing files were still missing, of course, but Logan had pushed that aside for now. Any time the thought resurfaced in his mind, he merely shoved it back down again. 

He figured, if he could get everything else done first, he could try to find them just before the shoot started. It wasn't well thought-out, but even if it was, he knew everything would just spiral out of control again, so he was purposefully ignoring it until later. He could just do it later, surely.

He wiped more tears away. He really wished they'd just dry up already, especially since the other sides would come knocking any time soon and he didn't need them seeing him like this.

That choice was taken out of his hands, though, as Roman chose that moment to burst through Logan's door, announcing that he'd made some changes to his script overnight.

Logan grabbed the edge of his desk with his unbandaged hand, somewhat from genuinely being startled, somewhat to keep himself quiet, and pointedly stayed in position, not turning around.

"So I saw that there was this whole subsection about the passion of performance, right?" Roman had started to ramble a bit, and tossed down another copy of the script Logan had just spent the whole night working on. "And, right away, I was like, it has to be included so we have to have it in there!"

He laughed triumphantly, telling Logan he'd graciously made the needed notes last night and Logan could just throw out that part of the original script and just add the extra research in to the new part instead.

Logan had tried to speak, say just about anything in that moment, but his words shriveled to dust, leaving but a puff of air in their wake as they left his mouth. Nothing. Maybe that screaming had been a bigger problem than he'd even considered...

Roman then joked that it wasn't like Logan was busy, or anything, and walked his way back towards the door. 

"Oh! Deadline's still the same, though, because we gotta be ready to film here in just a bit!" Roman oh-so-kindly added and then stepped back out into the hall before turning around one last time. "See you there!"

And then he shut the door.

Logan blinked, feeling the tears in his eyes still welling up and falling out.

He felt his shoulders hunch up but the pain he had relied on in his hand was gone, more numb than anything else now.

He bit his lip, trying to get ahead of this before it could get worse.

Okay. He breathed. He could do this - he could.

The deadline remained the same, but he still had some time left. He would only have to adjust for completion of the task, and completely obliterate any chance at all of ever finding those missing files, therefore making him unreliable to everyone, especially Thomas, but at least he’d get the script review done on time. That was technically better than both tasks going unfinished, right? One out of two wasn’t so bad, probably. At least, he hoped that was the case.

After another large inhale, his breath came out shaky again, and he barely held in a whine as the crying desperately attempted to come back in full.

No, not now! It was almost time to answer everyone’s questions as they got up for their own morning routines. He needed to stay focused and get everything done first. He didn’t have time to stop so uselessly again to deal with tears!

He glanced over at the clock. 7:06am. Just under two hours before Thomas would be awake.

With a dry swallow, Logan determinedly reached over to switch out the pages of Roman’s script, as instructed. Timing would be everything in these last couple hours.

He willed himself to be calm. 

No more shaky hands getting in the way and keeping him unproductive. No more pointless crying, loud and obnoxious and keeping him from staying on task. No more rubbing his eyes to remove tears, constantly forcing him to pause his necessary duties.

These pointless distractions had to stop. Every second would count now.

It was quieter, though not silent. The tears were still coming, but only as a steady trickle. He could work with this.

Back to his research, he finalized which new additions would be placed where and tried to keep his mind as focused on that particular task as possible to block out any unwanted thoughts about how upset Thomas would be about the missing files once the deadline finally approached.

He couldn’t think about that now. He had to stay on task and get this done. That was what was most important.

Completing more of the research and turning more pages as quickly as he could manage in this state, he noticed he could hardly keep his eyes from drifting over to check the clock, and occasionally even the calendar posted up on the wall behind his desk, displaying the time Thomas would be prepping to film that morning in big, bold letters.

He blinked rapidly for a moment to remove some tears without having to stop himself from typing.

Timing was everything now, and as he turned another page, he wondered how much he could flex his schedule to try to guarantee his task completion. After all, he might be able to get away with only showing up just in time to begin his part of the shoot instead of getting there early to assist with the set up, as that would give him a tiny bit more time to prepare the script review. Would it be enough time to get everything done, like checking for the missing files? No, but even a few seconds could be made useful, he was sure of that.

So long as he didn’t squander them.

The problem, though, was that Thomas and the others expected him to be there early, as he always was, ready to coordinate Thomas’ setup for the cameras and verifying what equipment should be recording and when, so staying behind for the sake of grabbing a few seconds of extra time may not be possible if they ended up calling on him due to his absence. 

He was meant to be considered reliable, after all.

He couldn’t let them down. But he also couldn’t let them down by not getting this research and review done thoroughly. There wasn’t a way to do everything right, but he had to do as much as possible for now and hope he somehow had a little more time left for the rest.

His eyes hurt as he tried blinking away more tears. He really wished he had found a better solution to all this.

–

A knock on his door was the exact signifier that the morning’s question period had begun. As Thomas was meant to be up fairly soon, his sides were all waking up and getting ready themselves, especially since they would be filming in just a short while.

Logan quickly contemplated his next course of action in regards to the barrage of questions he knew he’d be enduring over the next hour. Standing up and going to his door to answer each time would waste precious seconds that he could better use continuing to work, so he decided to stay at his desk and simply raise his voice when responding.

It also saved time in not having to make himself look halfway-presentable, as the crying had still not stopped. He would have to get it under control before filming started, but that was at the bottom of his priority list at the moment and would have to wait until the research was done.

The knock came again, followed by a timid, “Uhh, Logan? You awake?”

He tried not to roll his eyes at the ridiculousness of the question. Was this how they were starting the questions period, with inane inquiries he didn’t need to waste his time answering?

Of course he was awake. He hadn’t slept.

“I am,” he called out, not turning away from the computer as he finished up the next paragraph of notes and continued to ignore his silent tears. “What do you need?”

Virgil’s voice sounded clearer as he asked, “I just wanted to double-check, uhh… We’re starting right at 9:30, right?”

Logan realized Virgil must have opened the door to peek his head in, which is why his voice was louder, but he hadn’t heard the door click open. Worrying, but he’d ignore it for now.

He took a steadying but silent breath before responding simply and resolutely,

“Yes.”

His eyes fell on the clock again. Only 28 minutes before Thomas was meant to wake up, leaving a total of 52 minutes before the shoot began. 

Logan heard Virgil mutter a thank you and close the door. First question done. Technically, this meant he was following his schedule correctly, so he should have found some satisfaction in that, but instead he found himself regretting it.

His throat felt tight and blinked away more tears, just barely feeling as one followed a past track all the way down his face and over his lips before dripping off his chin.

He resisted the urge to rub his eyes again, knowing it wouldn’t get the crying to stop anyway.

It was those damn missing files. 

He wanted to just stop everything and go get them, but he knew he couldn’t. If Roman’s script wasn’t updated in time, everyone, not just Roman, would be horribly disappointed and it would also delay their filming day, ruining the rest of the day’s schedule, which could potentially push back the next day’s schedule, destroying the steady pace he’d set for Thomas to follow for the entire week. 

All that work would be completely ruined, just because he didn’t feel like doing some more research right now! How pathetic. Why would he even consider stopping?

But he also knew Thomas would be upset about the missing files. He really didn’t want Thomas to be upset. Specifically, he didn’t want Thomas to be upset with him.

He squeezed his hands into fists. He had to just be satisfied with what he could get done for now. He knew that. He just had to accept it.

“Logan!” A loud, successive knock on his door rang out after the shout of his name, and Logan instinctively moved his hands up to cover his ears. No, wait, he couldn’t do that, he had to keep working! 

He diligently moved his hands back to the keyboard to continue typing. 

He called back, “Yes?”

His voice wasn’t as calm and clear as it was last time. He really hoped that he could maintain whatever level of control he’d managed to accumulate up to this point, or filming later was going to be awful. He really didn’t want to think about that.

He listened for the question.

No door opening this time. It was a question about the filming time again. Logan confirmed that, yes, they would be starting at 9:30.

He breathed as calmly as he could manage as soon as he heard the other side walk away.

There was something beating in his chest then. His heart, right. He had one of those.

It was beating so heavily, like it was trying to escape its confines. 

Why was he reacting this way to some simple questions? He’d been expecting this - it was in the schedule! Why was he filled with… was this panic? He wasn’t sure.

He sighed, aggravated at his own uselessness, and turned another page over, blinking away more tears. Only a couple more pages left and he’d be completely done. 

The end was finally in sight, and he would hopefully have just enough time to check it over again for typos and get himself ready before the shoot began.

Another knock. This time, he forced himself to not have a pointlessly-adverse reaction. He called out. They asked, he answered. They walked away.

See? He could do this. It was easy. His mind had all the answers ready, all he had to do was dispense them as needed.

Yet another knock. Yet another answer.

He turned over the next page.

More questions, more answers.

He could do this.

He powered through and was finally on the very last page when he heard an enthusiastic knock. It was Roman.

Not a question, though, he was just announcing that everyone needed to be heading down to the commons soon now that Thomas was finally awake.

Logan lifted his head, looking back at his door. He hadn’t even noticed Thomas had woken up. The unusual brightness in his room was suddenly apparent and he squinted, moving his gaze back to his computer screen. 

This was good, though. Thomas was awake on time and Logan was just moments from being done with the research. He would have just enough time to organize and review before they started filming. The research was more to benefit his role in the episode, anyway, so if he was a little delayed in delivering it, that would be fine. No one had to know it was completed only minutes before they started, after all.

He ignored the new ache in his neck as he finally flipped over the last page of the script and added his last notes to his file.

Wiping the stray tears from his hands, he reached over and reorganized the stack of papers, placing Roman’s newest notes to the top of the pile.

A post-it note he hadn’t noticed before sat on the very top. Written across it in Roman’s cursive, fancy handwriting, read “Be sure to check over your new lines!!!” 

Logan froze.

How had he not seen this earlier?

He immediately turned his attention back to the clock. 9:22am. 

Shit, there wouldn’t be time to memorize whatever new lines Roman had added!

The silence in the room seemed ominously loud then. He held his breath.

Okay, just keep calm. This was fine.

He could feel more tears building up, still unending as ever, and he skipped blinking them away to instead reach at his throat again.

Fingers twitching but ready, he stopped before he began to squeeze. He didn’t need to do this. He didn’t have time.

He could just…probably attempt to memorize the lines right now, while he reviewed for typos. That was what would be expected of him. No wasting time with distractions, right?

This was fine. He sniffled, trying now to hold in the tears in his eyes. He could do this.

He flipped through the tabbed-off script to find his new lines. They hadn’t been marked, but Roman’s notes pointed to where they should be inserted. How gracious, how helpful.

Logan blinked, numerous tears falling to the paper and staining it. Roman would be pissed at that, but at least he would know his lines. That had to be good enough. Some progress was better than none, and blah blah blah. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth. No, just think about the script. Memorize the lines. Switching tasks wasn’t meant to be difficult. He just needed to do it correctly.

He took another deep breath, and forced himself to scan over the script page again.

He flipped the page, his hand coming up to his tie instead of resting on the page this time. He yanked absently at the tie, trying to keep everything clear in his mind. 

Read the words, know the words. It was easy. It was always supposed to be easy. He could do it.

He flexed his bandaged hand at his side. Another drop on the page told him the crying still hadn’t stopped, because of course he’d spent hours trying to do something and still managed to fail. 

How completely worthless did he have to be for him to be so affected by pointless, confusing emotions that he couldn’t discern, and even more pathetic for continuing to be affected after literal hours of dealing with them?

While he’d technically gotten the other malfunctions to stop with physical pain, the crying had never once gone away. Not on its own, not with his own attempts. 

He was kind of out of both time and ideas on getting it to stop now, though. And then he felt that familiar tug.

He was being called.

He took one last look at the time. 9:35am.

The others had already started then. 

He went to take another deep breath, but it was shakier than ever before. The hand yanking at his tie was shaking. His neck itched; his bandaged hand did, too. The inside of his mouth felt dry, his chest felt tight, and - oh, what do you know, the headache was starting to come back, too! 

Great.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the tug again. Okay. He could do this. He just needed to remember his opening lines, and then he could just let the others take the lead and use that to keep his focus.

He could do this.

–

He sank into the commons. He could hear a few voices already speaking, and he tried his best to maintain his proper posture as he rose up in his usual position next to Thomas’ staircase.

Without hesitation, he opened his mouth to state his newly-memorized opening line, but it came out as a whisper.

He stopped himself and started again, trying to speak more clearly, only for the slightest lilt in his voice to take hold and he heard everything else around him grow silent.

Oh, god. He’d fucked up. 

No, no, no, he’d put all this work into everything, please just let him run the line again. He knew he could do it right, he just needed to try harder.

He should have tried harder the first time, obviously, but he swore he wasn’t this unreliable! Not usually, anyway…

That was when the question came. 

“Uhm, Logan… Are you okay?”

He wasn’t even sure who it was asking him this. His gaze had fallen to the floor.

He had no idea if he could answer such a question, after everything that had happened. 

But he’d already messed up, so he shouldn’t be so useless as to not answer their genuine questions, right?

He lifted his head, and tried not to squint as he looked past the bright set lights in his face. Thomas seemed to look concerned, eyeing him oddly. 

Right, Logan remembered. He hadn’t bothered to clean up his appearance before sinking out of his room. That would have been the right thing to do, but he’d managed to forget and mess that up, too, huh?

He turned and looked over at Virgil, who appeared to be frozen in shock. He looked to Roman, seeing an expression he wasn’t sure he recognized. If he had to guess, Logan would say it was some sort of mix between disgust and confusion. He supposed that would make sense, given Logan’s present state.

And then he managed to gaze past the light at Patton, who was giving him that pity-filled frown, the one he makes whenever he sees an animal or infant fall over. 

God fucking damn it all.

Logan apologized immediately. He knew, above all, he ought to not waste more of their time with this nonsense, but here he was, doing exactly that anyway.

He apologized again, but it came out lilted just like his memorized line had, and his words tasted salty. 

Right, he was still crying.

Shit, he hadn’t stopped crying this whole time. He’d never gotten it to stop. How completely pathetic and worthless did he have to continue to be?

Couldn’t he just do one thing right today?

He looked back over at Thomas, trying to keep his posture intact as he asked - practically begged - to run his line again.

“I won’t– I swear,” he tried to assure him. “I won’t mess it up again.”

Thomas instantly refused, shutting him down.

Logan bit his lip. God, of course! Of course he had to go and mess it all up this badly! 

He wanted to explain himself, elucidate his ability to say his lines. He just needed to calm himself back down and try harder. He could do it. He knew he could. He wasn’t completely worthless, no matter how much that seemed to be the case.

But the moment he opened his mouth to ask, Thomas cut him off.

“Logan, I need you to just try and calm down. Okay?”

Logan had never closed his mouth faster than he had in that moment.

He hadn’t succeeded then. 

Whatever he’d done last night into this morning wasn’t good enough. Because it never was and never would be.

All that work was for nothing. He’d failed. He’d disappointed them, all because of some stupid malfunction that had come out of nowhere and one he couldn’t control or fix.

He was broken. He couldn’t even run lines for the episode, so that meant he’d been rendered completely useless to them. They couldn’t use him if he was broken. 

What was he supposed to do now?

He couldn’t hear anything, but he could tell he had started crying profusely again. He could feel the sobs in his chest, but no sound reached his ears. Perhaps that should bother him, but nothing could hurt him more than his own regret right now.

He couldn’t be used. He couldn’t be fixed. He had tried everything he could think of, but no true solution existed! 

A slight ringing started to sound in his ears, and he reached up to cover them, but it just grew louder. At least it was better than the likely reprimands he had to imagine the others were seconds away from making. 

He really didn’t mean for any of this to happen. God, he felt absolutely awful.

His vision swam again. It’d been hours since he lost balance, and he reached out to the stairwell to steady himself, nearly missing.

He briefly heard shouting, but couldn’t make out what was being said.

He could have blamed the malfunction again, but now he was certain - he was always broken. The malfunction just finally made it easier for everyone to see.

That was why it had shown up. Because he’d been trying to hide the truth all this time. He was trying to deny how worthless he was, trying to find ways to prove it wasn’t true - but the malfunction made everyone aware of how completely useless he’d been to them all.

They deserved better.

He shakily turned to Thomas, who seemed to be stepping closer, but he couldn’t be sure.

Logan opened his mouth to apologize, but nothing came out but sobs at first.

“I’m sorry!” he screamed out, far louder than he should have. 

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he tried again, forcing the words out between sobs. “Tried– I… I tried. I tried to…fix it. Fi– fix me, but I…”

He broke off, sobbing louder then, but he could feel the intensity rising in his chest. He didn’t want to scream again. He didn’t want to keep burdening everyone with this. He needed to go.

He couldn’t do this.

He tried to cover his mouth but the moment his fingers were in front of his face, he bit at them, unsure if he were trying to get them to go away or if this was supposed to help things. He just needed it to stop. He needed something to stop. 

He wasn’t even sure what, but something had to stop.

Maybe it was him.

He pulled the fingers away from his mouth and buried his face in his hands instead. His eyes were leaking so many tears, they escaped through the spaces between his fingers with ease.

What was he still doing there? Wasting all their time, that’s what.

He chanced a look back up at the others, pulling his hands down just enough to see.

They were all just…staring at him. 

He was bothering them with this. He was wasting their time, wasting their precious time to film the episode… 

Should he go? He should go.

If he wasn’t of use, maybe they could have Janus fulfill his role in the episode? At least then they wouldn’t have to deal with his incessant crying.

He tried to tell them, to suggest the alternative, so he could finally stop wasting their time.

“J… I–” He couldn’t seem to form words again. “He– Ja–” 

More sobs. He just needed to tell them a solution! Why couldn’t he do the one thing he was built to do?

Logan held his breath but couldn’t keep it for long before he was heaving in another breath. Oh god, the hyperventilating had come back and he hadn’t even noticed!

Someone spoke up near him.

“What’s…happening right now?” That someone had asked. 

It was quiet but clear. Was that Roman?

“Just tell us what happened.”

Logan covered his face again, breathing as much as he could through the sobbing. 

He didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand.

How could he be expected to explain something he couldn't understand?

Nothing had happened! He was malfunctioning, but he was already broken! He always had been.

He hadn’t wanted to accept that, hadn't wanted them to know that. But now, they did know. They had to.

And he couldn’t fix this, no matter how much he wanted to.

He’d let them down, in the worst way possible.

“So,” he could hear Roman say then, “you do have emotions. How ‘bout that?”

Was that a laugh?

Logan shook his head, trying to keep his hands over his mouth. No, these weren’t emotions. They couldn't be, because this was the malfunction. They were never emotions, no matter what he tried to convince himself.

Patton must have realized the truth when Logan had asked for help last night. These weren’t emotions, it was just his uselessness finally on display for them to see. 

He was malfunctioning because he was faulty. This was merely taking the metaphor of a slightly-hidden fracture and revealing the reality of an infected and quickly-detaching limb. 

Torn, ruined, and useless - the best bet of saving everything else was to remove the limb entirely.

It meant he wasn’t of use to them like this. The malfunction was able to show them that he had never been of use to them at all.

That was why Roman had given him that task.

That was why Patton had told him to calm down. 

That was why Thomas had told him to calm down, too. 

That was why he had let them all down. It was inevitable that he’d fail. He was broken, he wasn’t capable of succeeding.

“Ju–” he tried, moving his hands from his mouth, still barely managing to speak through the sobs. “Just malfunctioning. Just…broken.”

His chest hurt so much. His vision swam again and then went completely white for a moment before returning to normal, albeit slowly, gradually. Well, 'normal' meaning blurry and full of tears, but at least he could see the others still standing nearby, unmoving, keeping their distance.

He wasn’t sure he could keep himself standing much longer, though. His knees felt weak.

He supposed that meant he was just about to prove how much more pathetic he could be.

He couldn’t fix this. He couldn’t fix himself. They wouldn’t be able to see past his mistakes, even if he could somehow, miraculously fix everything now. He wasn’t sure why he’d deluded himself with the notion for so long, thinking that it was possible to continue on, that he could just make it up to them. 

He hadn’t even been able to locate those missing files. He hadn’t even tried!

He would never be good enough.

His hand and neck began to throb in pain again, after all this time in numbness.

He deserved all this pain, all this distrust and disappointment. He had earned it through his failure, his inaction, his ineptitude.

Maybe things could have been different if he had actually tried harder. If he had spent just a little more time trying to understand instead of ignoring his faults, then maybe he wouldn’t have been so useless.

But it was too late now.

He wanted there to be another chance for him to change their mind, but he knew it would never happen. Not now.

Really, he should have expected something to go wrong.

He slowly looked up, the bright lights searing into his eyes and the ringing in his ears mixing with his own sobs and what may have been the others speaking to him, but he couldn’t be sure.

He turned to see Thomas one more time. He looked confused.

Logan stumbled back, forcing himself to stand. 

He couldn’t keep disappointing them like this. Staying here and wasting all their time, their precious time. So much precious time.

Today would have to be the last opportunity he’d ever have to fail them like this. It could not - would not - ever happen again.

It came to him then. He had a solution.

The real answer had been lying in his failure all along - he hadn’t tried hard enough.

Tears dripped down his face as he reached his hands back up to his neck.

The crying had to stop, and he knew what to do. It all had to stop, for good.

No hesitation, he tightened his grip around his neck, squeezing as hard as he could. He had to try harder this time. That was what he had to do.

He squeezed, his mouth going numb, his eyes stinging in sharp pain, his chest heaving in desperation… He ignored the rushing blood in his ears, the sudden jolts of stinging pain on his arms… until everything went dark.

End notes: Thanks for reading! Just for some peace of mind - Logan does not die at the end here, his grip would have given out after he passed out.

If enough people are interested, I could write a short follow-up chapter to this fic that’s purely comfort, to show some aftermath and the other sides & Thomas trying to properly help Logan and understand what had him so stressed! Just let me know if you’d like to see that.

[candied-peach]

ao3: “moving like a poltergeist” rating: T warnings: creativitwins, implied prinxiety maybe, mugging mention, minor character death, unsympathetic orange genre: humor/fluff description: Roman makes a mistake. His brother helps him make it right. (day 30: "People who die bad don’t stay in the ground.” — Beloved, Toni Morrison @tsshipmonth2020 )

"He'll come for you, you know," Remus tells his brother solemnly. Roman swallows.

"I know," he acknowledges. His fangs glisten in the moonlight when he opens his mouth.

It's messy. He never intended to kill Orange. Just incapacitate him. Roman caught him mugging a werewolf named Patton, someone who was a friend, and blind fury took over. It was a mistake.

Mistakes come back to haunt you.

"Have you ever heard of a vampire haunted by a ghost?" Remus asks, then cackles. Roman scowls at him. He knows how serious this is. Orange is destined to be one powerful poltergeist. He died violently, and he knows the source of his pain. Not good.

The moon dips beneath a flurry of clouds, and Roman's already cold skin chills even more. The fallen leaves skitter and unfurl down the street.

"Don't leave me," Roman blurts out, barely aware that he's saying it. Remus quickly grows somber again, one hand stealing out and seizing Roman's in a reassuring grip.

"I gotcha, bro," Remus murmurs. "No ghost is getting past us."

A trash can hurtles down the street, and Remus shoves Roman out of the way, just when it would have smashed right into him. Roman stumbles, nearly falling, before pivoting on his heels and facing a similarly disheveled Remus.

"Bastard!" Remus taunts. "That all ya got?"

"Remus, I wouldn't-" Roman starts to warn him, before the street light above them flickers and the bulb smashes, sprinkling broken glass on the sidewalk just next to Remus's feet.

"Now what?" Roman demands. Remus looks at him.

"Now we run," Remus says, grabbing his hand again and yanking him along to the symphony of destruction behind them.

"This is your plan?" Roman shrieks, as they run. "This is the worst plan I've ever seen, what-"

"No, my plan is to have a fucking exorcist come by, but he's late!" Remus pants. "Come on, Virge, where the fuck-"

"What on earth?" A new voice rings out, an oasis of calm among the chaos. Roman looks up to see a man slouched over in a purple-patched hoodie, his hands idly sketching out gestures in the air. Purple-dyed hair flops over green eyes, and a pointy chin stabs the air when he tilts his head in mild curiosity.

"Poltergeist after my bro's ass," Remus gasps out. "Please help."

"You owe me," Virgil says, heaving a sigh as he looks down the street. "Give me five minutes," he says over his shoulder, sauntering down. Roman nearly shouts after him to be careful before realizing how dumb that sounds.

It takes less than five minutes for the street's calm to reassert itself. Virgil strolls back, hands in the pockets of his hoodie, as Roman stares at him in slack-jawed wonder.

"Logan would have had it done in a minute," Virgil complains. "I'm getting rusty."

"Thanks, Virge!" Remus exclaims. "I owe ya one."

"Yes, you do," Virgil agrees. "I'd start cleaning up the street if I were you. It'll look better if you two do it."

"Right," Roman agrees, elbowing his brother in the ribs. "Thank you so much, I don't know how I could ever repay you."

Virgil grins.

"Let me think about it," he says, and with a lazy, two-fingered salute, he is gone. Roman realizes he's staring after him like an idiot when Remus elbows him in return, getting a grunt of pain.

"Let's go," Remus says reluctantly, as neighborhood chatter starts up once more.

"I hope I see him again," Roman remarks, his face blooming pink. Remus looks at him, then snorts.

"You need him," Remus says bluntly. "To get out of all the bullshit you put yourself through, Ro."

"Hey!" Roman exclaims. They argue until the sun starts to peek over the horizon.

[tss-storytime-summaries]

3

Expected Rating: Potentially Mature

Warnings: Potential M rating, swearing, innuendo (oh, hello there, Remus), implied sexual content, non-graphic violence, genre switching, mental health and medication, alcohol, gaslighting, shifting realities, peril. No major archive warnings would apply.

Characters: Logan, Remus, Roman, Patton, Janus, kid!Virgil, other OCs as needed. No unsympathetic/villain Sides.

Romantic relationships: Intrulogical and sometimes romantic/sometimes platonic Moraliceit (Patton/Roman/Janus) with familial kid!Virgil

Summary: Dawn was ablaze in red and orange, the sun nearly visible through the vidscreen’s haze. Lingering over dreams and tea, Remus and Logan enjoyed a typical morning before jetting off on a second-hand electrobike to the Physics Theory Unit at CERN.

At 0530 the next day, the President and First Gentleman’s agenda began with their scheduled morning run down an undisclosed trail, surrounded by Secret Service agents. After a calendar packed with position papers, negotiations, and a red-faced Secretary of State insistent on war, Logan managed to tear Remus away for dinner with his brother and his family.

Morning the following day was terrifically dreadful, with damp wind howling over the moor, the chill stabbing through cracks and crevices with long, icy fingers. Extricating himself from Logan’s warm embrace was torturous, but his love’s little shiver finally spurred him to action and Remus stoked the fire before clambering back to bed.

Day after day, Remus and Logan led uneventful lives. They woke in each other’s arms, worked, created… Evenings usually brought dinner with Roman, his partners, and their child. Until one day, a strange encounter at Aldi’s left Logan quiet and withdrawn.

The next morning, Remus woke to empty arms and a family who’d never heard Logan’s name.

[scenecipriano]

A Funny Story

Description: How they met really was a funny story...

Characters: Patton, Remus, Roman, Janus Logan (Mentioned), Virgil (Mentioned)

Relationships: Intruality, Past Logicality, Analogical (Mentioned), Brotherly Demus, Intruality are Roman’s parents. 

TW: Arson, Cheating in relationships, Implied Unsympathetic Logan and Virgil

---------------

Patton hums as he stirs a cookie mixture, it was just him and his eight-year-old son Roman at home, his husband had gone out to get what he likes to call ‘cookie juice’, Patton always thought that was an odd way to refer to milk.

“Hey, dad? How did you and papa meet?” Roman asks, startling his father in the process.

Patton turns to look at him, a playful scowl on his face as he points the cookie batter-covered spoon at the boy.

“What did I tell you about sneaking up on your old man? And what’s got you wondering about that kiddo?”

A mischievous grin forms on Roman’s face as he shrugs.

“Not to! And cause when I was at school we had story time and Mr. Thomas let everyone tell a story. I told the one about the dragon witch that papa always tells! But then Remy, that’s Mr. Emile’s son, told the story of how his papa met his baba and everyone thought it was funny! I can’t let him be funnier than me dad, it would be a crime!”

Patton snorts in amusement as he pushes his cookie batter aside, taking a seat at the kitchen table. He gestures for Roman to join him.

“What makes you think, mine and your papa’s first meeting was funny?”

“Because papa is silly? I’ve even heard you tell others when they’ve asked that it was a ‘funny story’! I wanna know, please?” Roman musters up his best puppy eyes.

Patton rolls his eyes fondly as he ruffles his son’s dark auburn hair.

“All right…”

10 Years Earlier

Patton should have known it wasn’t going to last. His friend Andy tried to warn him about Logan Pimbrook the very first day Patton gushed over him. Of course, Patton didn’t listen, too caught up in his fantasies of what it would be like to date the Logan Pimbrook. He was Valley High’s star pupil, Logan was going places and snuffed anyone who even looked at him, but he had chosen Patton.

Now, Patton found himself crying on a park bench, on Valentine’s Day of all days. He and Logan had been dating since Patton was sixteen and the latter had been seventeen. Six years later and Patton finds his boyfriend half-naked in their shared apartment with Virgil Storm of all people.

Patton wasn’t one to ever really put down people, but Virgil Storm had built up a reputation in school and even during college, but he never thought that Virgil would go after Logan.

“Well, isn’t this a sight for sore eyes! Literally, you look like shit, cupcake what’s the matter?”

Patton looks up, letting out a pitiful sniffle. Standing in front of him was a man who looked to be at least a foot or two taller than him. His skin was fair, his face angular and a ratty-looking mustache stood out among his features. The man had his dark brown hair tied up into a messy bun, a grey-streaked piece of hair framed his face perfectly.

If you were to compare him to Patton, you would say they were opposites. The man opted for black and green colors with bits of mesh and ripped jeans, whereas Patton was all about pastels and pretty skirts.

“Hello? Earth to cutie on the bench, are ya broken? Is it because of my devilish good looks?” The man teases.

That earned him a wet laugh from Patton, causing the man to grin brightly at him before taking a seat next to Patton on the bench.

“I-I um… I’m Patton and… N-No I’m not okay…”

“I’m Remus, sorry for saying you look like shit I legit have no fucking filter, but anyway what’s wrong buttercup? Come on talk to the stranger in the park, promise I’m not a murderer.”

Patton couldn’t help but laugh again, he was sure that if Andy was here he would be trying his hardest to get him away from Remus.

“I-It’s nothing really...just… something stupid…” Patton mumbles.

“Well, good thing I like stupid! Come on, no need to be sad on the big V-Day!”

A smile tugs at Patton’s face as he shakily wipes his tears away, he takes a deep breath and turns to face Remus completely.

“I… I just found out that my boyfriend of six years has been cheating on me… a-and he chose to do it with the… the possible worst person in the world!”

Remus crosses one of his legs over the other, leaning against his knee as he props his head up with his hands.

“Got names? I love when some piping hot tea is spilled! And talking about it may help ya, my little brother Janus is always spewing on about talking your feelings out.”

Patton turns fully around on the bench, pulling his legs up and into a crisscross position as he does.

“You may not know him but… my boyfriend Logan Pimbrook, decided to… to cheat on me with Virgil freaking Storm! Can you believe-”

“Wait, wait wait wait! Virgil Storm? Tall, lanky, pale motherfucker with black eyeshadow and wears a patched hoodie thinking he’s Sally from fucking Nightmare Before Christmas? That Virgil Storm?” Remus interrupts.

Patton blinks owlishly as he nods slowly.

“How?”

“He dated my brother a few years back, convinced him to sleep with him then proceeded to post pictures all around their school. My brother had to be homeschooled after because of all the bullying.”

Patton stares at Remus for a moment before freezing.

“You’re Janus Doherty’s brother, that’s why he left? I… I had no idea… I saw the pictures and took as many as I could down but it was too late. I had no idea that Virgil did that to him.”

A dark look passes over Remus’s face, Patton knew that the look wasn’t pointed toward him.

“Well, Patton seems like we have a mutual enemy! You said he fucked your boyfriend right?”

Patton nods, squeaking when he’s suddenly pulled up from the bench.

“Do you think this Logan will be out by now?”

“M-Maybe? Why?”

“Good, let’s go.”

Patton wasn’t sure what Remus was exactly planning, or why he wanted to go to his and Logan’s shared apartment. He asked him multiple times, only to be given a wide grin and a cryptic answer of ‘Just wait.’

Now at the apartment, Patton fidgets nervously. It was only a mere hours ago that he was here, walking in on his boyfriend and Virgil on the couch of all places.

“Is your name on the lease of this place?” Remus asks suddenly.

“Um… No, Logan insisted that he would take care of everything why- Remus!”

Patton watches as Remus picks up Logan’s MacBook, slamming the computer on the ground with enough force that they could hear the screen crack.

“What are you doing!?”

“What’s it look like? Destroying his shit, he slept with one of the sleaziest people in Florida, he deserves everything he fucking gets. Now, do you want to cut up the couch or should I? I don’t mind doing all the damage!”

Patton knew this was wrong, it was petty. Was he really that angry at Logan that he would go as far as destroying the other man’s things?

“Oh, this bitch.”

Patton shakes his head and looks at Remus, he was holding a digital camera in his hands. Patton recognized it as the one that Logan always carried with him, never letting anyone touch it.

“What?”

He moves to Remus’s side, looking at the camera. There were multiple pictures of Logan posing with Virgil, some just as recent as a few weeks ago and some going as far back to when he and Logan first started dating.

“Make that two fucking sleaze bags.”

Patton wasn’t sure what really came over him, maybe it was hurt, or maybe it was the unbridled anger that filled his heart, but the next thing he or Remus knew was him snatching the camera and throwing it onto the floor as hard as he could.

The little thing exploded into pieces, each of them sliding across the hardwood floor. Silence floods the room before being broken by Remus’s loud laughter.

“That’s what I’m talking about!! I’m gonna go ruin that bitches clothes!”

Patton clenches his fists as he’s left alone in the living room, he marches over to the kitchen, grabbing a knife from the knife block. He stalks back over to the couch and begins to rip into the leather.

Stuffing came out and flew above his head the more Patton ripped and stabbed at the couch.

‘ How many times… HOW MANY TIMES!?’

Patton stops his attack on the couch, his hands trembling as he drops the knife. A choked sob leaves him as he slumps down in front of the ruined appliance.

“Should we burn these or- Patton?” Remus calls as he walks back into the living room, dropping a pile of Logan’s clothes as he makes his way over to Patton.

“I-I gave… I-I gave him six years of my life… a-and he’s been cheating on me since day one! I’m s-so stupid!”

Patton buries his face in his hands as sobs crash through him. He feels Remus wrap his arms around him.

“You’re not stupid, he is for stringing you along. Now, get up, dry those tears. We’re not crying over an asshole like him or Virgil Storm.”

Remus helps Patton stand, slowly pulling his hands away from the crying man’s face as he wipes his tears away.

“L-let’s fucking burn those boring-ass clothes.”

Present Time

“Really, it was a poor lapse of judgment on our part, but I can’t say I really regret it…” Patton finishes as he looks at his son.

Roman sat staring at him wide-eyed.

“You and papa set someone’s house on fire!?”

“Yes, they did and if it wasn’t for me setting them up with an alibi they would have ended up in prison.”

Patton and Roman turn, seeing Janus standing on the kitchen threshold, grocery bags held in his hands as he flashes the two of them a look of amusement.

“Uncle Jan! Did you go to the store with papa?”

Janus sets the bags down just in time to catch his nephew as Roman threw himself into the man’s arms.

“No, but I came right when he was unloading the car. Now, why were you two talking about arson?”

“Arson!? Not without me, I hope!”

Patton couldn’t help but smile when he hears his husband’s voice, his smile brightens when Remus pushes himself into the kitchen.

“Dad was telling me how you two burned some mean guy’s house down!”

Remus gives Patton a questioning look.

“He needed a funny story for his next storytime session at school,” Patton says innocently.

Remus grins and walks over to his husband, planting a kiss in the center of his forehead, earning them a chorus of ews from Janus and Roman.

“It is a pretty funny story huh?”

[aidensm8]

So headcanon proposal: Roman has Cleithrophobia

[< Previous] || [Masterpost] || [Next >]

[anonymous-gremlin]

Virgil is just walking down the hallway as suddenly green smoke comes around him, trapping him in place.

Remus.

"You got a new family now, he Virgie. You gotta share. Roman or Logan, choose."

"What? What choose? Leave me and my family alone!"

"Choose, Virgie. Choose or else you dear daddy dearest will meet his tragic end. Ooh, maybe something with spiders."

Virgil eventually chooses, confused as to why but knowing what Remus is capable off, he is worried.

His worry only grows bigger as the side in question's room is closed shut the next morning and he can hear the side scream on the other side of the door.

[sidespromptblog]

Remus, peering over Logan's shoulder: Whatcha doin dorkness?

Logan, without even thinking: Drawing tattoos that I'll never have, becauae of reasons.

Remus: Drawing? You can draw?!

Logan, cringing just a little as he clutches his book close to his chest: Yes... I was told that drawing is an inherently "Roman" thing to do, so I usually only do it in private. I'd really.. really appreciate if you didn't mention it to them... Especially not to Patton.

Remus, now one hundred percent more worried about Logan: No problem dorkness I promise...

Remus: ...

Remus, randomly pointing to one in the book: What's this one based on? I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. It looks absolutely dreadful, in the best way possible~

Logan, perking up quite a bit: Well actually it was based on this old Greek notion of-

[unsympathetic-patton]

The World Ticked By

There is something to be said about sweetness that rotted, kindness could fool any man with a heart and eyes that couldn't magically see past deception. With every sacharine word there would always be a gullible fool to follow them.

The twins were so cute, Patton thought, watching the toddlers bumble around and do as toddlers did. Here in there city the world was in a weird state of time, sometimes it went quick and sometimes not at all. Or maybe Patton had simply lost the ability to find time.

Remus was brain and Roman was brawn, there was no question the two were a mischevious pair. Patton preffered brawn over brain truth be told. There was just something unsettling about the way Remus stared at him with eyes that showed he was understanding more then he was saying.

Roman grew big, and strong, an overachiever and a man to pull at your heartstrings. Romancer and actor extraordinaire, he sang serenades to the men he wanted to date and every handwritten song was a beautiful poem written from the heart. Remus grew twisted, interests were scattered but always easy to identify. The dark and scary, the things most children put away in their nightmares and never returned to.

Before they were simply a mischevious duo, but much like Patton people were starting to prefer brawn over brain. Though Patton tried hard to let the others care for Remus continue! "Oh no, he's not bad, he just has.. weird interests! I'm sure he's not going to hurt anyone!" He would say, innocent, caring.

Then why, Remus would wonder, did Roman get Patton's attention more often. No matter what attrocity he committed Patton missed every event, but he was at every show Roman had. And perhaps that wonder is what made it go down the drain.

Roman trusted Patton, more then their own father. Patton hadn't intended for that, of course, he was just a little doting.

"Patton! I got the part!" Roman would exclaim, throwing open Patton's door. Patton's eyes lit up. Roman! Just the man he was looking for.

"Roman.. the knob broke the wall," Patton says, looking at where Roman had thrown open the door. Roman laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head.

"Ah.. sorry.."

"But you got the part!" Patton would say. Truth be told Roman was a bit annoying nowadays, always in the spotlight. "I'm so proud of you! C'mere I made pie, have a slice!"

Roman would walk to the kitchen and the door would fall shut behind him. A slice of pie placed in front of him and he dug in with delight.

The world ticked by. Patton watched it continue. The police stopped by his door.

"Roman's missing?! Oh I hope you find him!" Patton was so sweet, "I last saw him going to the theatre! He wanted to see if he got the part! Oh please, please, find him!" Tears streaked down his cheeks in a sacharine display of despair.

A week passed. Two. Three. No one ever found Roman. Life moved on, the world stayed in orbit.

Remus knocks on the door. Patton hadn't seen brain in a bit, honestly he was getting a bit concerned. Remus hadn't taken Roman's disappearance well. He was delighted when Remus reached out. Dusting off his shirt, he opened the door. "Remus!" He says in a soft exclamation, "I haven't seen you in so long.."

Remus entered without a word, he waited for the door to shut. "..Patton.." He says, voice quiet, "I.. I was doing some digging on Roman's disappearance."

"Oh.. honey, I'm so sorry," Patton says gently, "You shouldn't dig into that.. it's been so long.."

"It's been three years," Remus says, "And I- I did a lot of research. I know it was you."

"What? That's ridiculous!" Patton says, "Remus, how could I-"

"I have a folder full of evidence. I first thought it because I had followed Roman to the theatre. His first words when he saw he got the part were I have to tell Patton."

Patton's mouth closes. Remus said he evidence and Patton believed him, Remus had always been the brain to Roman's brawn. Patton's eyes flicked down to the baseball bat by the door. A gift from the neighbours kid, a teen who seemed to live in a patchwork sweater. Silently, he grabbed it.

No one missed Remus. Or, Patton thought no one did. Virgil, the new neighbours kid, he came over asking if Patton had seen Remus. He was cute and awkward, as teens were.

"Hey.. uh, have you seen Remus, sir?" Patton liked him already! So polite.

"I haven't.. I'm so sorry Virgil," his eyes flicked to the grey sky behind him. Virgil seemed to like and hate the rain, Patton caught him staring out of his window into it often. As if reading Patton's thoughts, the downpour started.

"Come in! Oh it's raining I won't let you walk out in that!" Patton says sternly, but kindly. Virgil blushed in awkward embarrassment and comes in.

"Sorry, I don't mean to be a burden," Virgil says. Patton gasps.

"Virgil, my sweet shadow child! You are never a burden. Come have some cookies! I just baked them!"

The world ticked by. Virgil had only known Remus for a month. No one really looked for Remus, anyway, and truth be told Patton knew that. Virgil loved Patton, wwho was always kind to him and baked bat-shaped cookies and packed him a lunch every day since his parents wouldn't.

Virgil's breath came out in heaves as he slammed his fist into the door, knocking in desperation. It was raining and he was drenched. Patton opens the door with wide eyes, seeing Virgil drenched and crying at his door.

"Patton! Patton they kicked me out I don't know what to do and-"

"Virgil, Virgil, it's okay, you can stay here," Patton says, already leading him inside and sitting him down in his favourite chair. He rushed upstairs to grab the towels, and help dry Virgil off.

The world ticked by. Virgil had no friends and his parents had wanted him gone from the first of seventeen years since he'd been spawned. The police had no way of knowing Virgil talked to anyone. He was picked on at school, his parents didn't care.. he was probably just another runaway.

A knock on Patton's door, it's been a year. He's starting to grey now, older, more tired, but he answers the door with a smile nonetheless.

"Patton Heartrude," Logan greets, voice set and firm. "May I enter? I am with the police."

"Its been an awful long time since someones visit, come on in! Funny enough, I have loganberry pie in my kitchen!" Patton says, leading Logan inside. Logan looked quite pleased at that, Patton gave him a slice and sat him down. A classic! He approved of Logan's taste.

"I'm a detective working on a string of missing persons cases," Logan says, "I.. they all have some sort of connection to you, I believe. I simply want more information on them."

Patton smiles. "Okay! I'd be happy to tell you all that I can! I hope you can find at least one.."

The world ticked agonizingly by. Patton was much older, now. His son rarely visitted from college, to busy being out in the world. Meeting a boy named Janus. Patton didn't mind. He was grateful Thomas at least came to stay during his last days. Taking care of him. Patton's eyes closed peacefully and he passed without a regret.

In two months, Thomas would be clearing out the house and he'd find a trapdoor in a closet and descend down into some secret basement.

The world stopped ticking by.

[imma-potatoo]

Logan x Janus + confined to bed rest/twisted ankle/hiding an injury

@badthingshappenbingo

Send me a character and a prompt! Please specify ships! No r*mr*m, romantic princexity, U!Logan or U!Janus

Warnings: not telling someone about an injury, infected wounds, wounds in general, implied U!Virgil and U!Patton, not communicating?, ask to tag.

Ships: Loceit.

Promises

----

“Logan I’m fine!” Janus hissed through his gritted teeth, smacking his boyfriend’s hand away.

Logan huffed and rolled his eyes, “If you were fine, you wouldn’t be limping in every step and wincing in pain when you put down your foot! Now Janus, please let me see your ankle!” Logan reached his hand back towards Janus, only this time when Janus tried to smack him away; Logan grabbed both of his wrists in a tight grip. “There. Now sit still and let me help you.” Logan wasn’t happy about having to physically restrain his boyfriend, but Janus had been in pain all week and had refused to accept help the normal way. 

Janus hissed once again when Logan pulled up his pant leg, “L-Logan please!” Janus whimpered when his boyfriend pulled his sock down slightly, “I-Its fine. I don’t need your help” Logan pulled the smaller side onto his lap, leading Janus’ hands to his tie in case the rough movements were to be painful. Janus gripped the tie tightly, breaths sharp while Logan rubbed his back in a comforting manner.

“I just want to help you, my love.” Janus breathed slow and steady, Logan chewed on his bottom lip slightly, “I’m sorry, love… this was out of line. You don’t have to tell me.” the blue side spoke softly; regret seeping into his bones as lightly combed through the others sweat covered curls. Logan pulled his pant leg back down and leaned against the wall The duo sat there for a while before Janus nodded against his chest.

“Ok..”

“Ok?” Logan questioned, eyebrow quirked up slightly

“You can check my ankle... Just.. don’t freak out?” Janus looked at him with glassy eyes, his voice was hesitant as Logan rubbed his back up and down.

Logan pecked a small kiss against Janus’ forehead, “I won’t. I promise”

Janus tensed when Logan reached down and softly tugged up his left pant leg. Logan couldn’t help it when his eyes widened.

Small emerald-like scales faded down from Janus’ calf, but that wasn’t the issue; Logan loved Janus’ scales (even if the others had differing ‘opinions’) The problem was that his ankle was purple and swollen, twisted inwards slightly. Logan picked Janus up and moved him closer to him so he could get a better view without leaving his boyfriend’s grasp. Logan reached out and touched the joint, snapping away immediately when Janus hissed and held the tie in white knuckles.

Logan breathed in deep, he promised not to freak out Janus. “Ok. let's get you to the bed.” Logan stood up slowly, grateful that Janus was the shortest of the sides to make carrying him easier

Logan walked slowly, keeping his eyes trained on the side in his arms. Even though the bed was close, it felt like a mile-long walk, and to say that Logan was concerned was an understatement. Janus told him practically everything. So for him to be so adamant that nothing was wrong was strange and unlike his boyfriend. Logan kept his steps calm and even as he met the bed, Pulling Janus away from his chest to lay him on the pillows. Logan sat next to him, the mattress sinking as the blue side looked back down at Janus’ ankle.

It was definitely twisted. And twisted badly. With thick lines of purple, green, and black surrounding the main joint, “Jan- Janus… what happened?” Logan tried not to sound shocked or breathless but was failing spectacularly as he intaked a large gulp of air.

“....” Janus stared at the ceiling.

“Janus please.” Logan grabbed Janus’ hand and stared into his glass like eyes, “was it Roman?” His expression was starting to leak with anger, how could anyone hurt his boyfriend.

Janus shook his head once more.

“Virgil?”

Janus winced slightly, but shook his head.

“Remus?”

Another shake.

“ W-was it Patton?” Logan hated the idea that the fatherly side could injure another side, but he was out of options and no one would touch his beloved.

Janus didn’t react for a minute or two. But then timidly nodded his head, breath shaky.

Logan couldn’t help the furrow in his brows as he squeezed Janus’ hand slightly tighter, without removing his hand he leaned down and pulled the emergency medkit from under the bed. Starting to bandage the ankle, Logan thought for a second or two, things beginning to click into place.

“Did Virgil also help Patton?” Logan grimaced at the nod

“Did they tell you not to tell me?”

Another nod.

“How did they do this to you, love?”

Janus locked hazy eyes with Logan, “They pushed me down the stairs…” Logan traced his tongue over his canine, grounding his rage in the dull pain.

“....”

“Lo? Are you ok?”

“Is anything else injured?”

Janus blinked, “I uh, scraped my shoulder on the railing..” Logan nodded and helped Janus sit up against the headboard, Janus unbuttoned his shirt and let it hang around his elbows.

Logan pushed his glasses up and looked at the long scrape, it was bright red and oozing yellow pus. Red streaks surrounding the wound, because of course the wooden railing would cause an infection. The logical side bit into his tongue harder as he continued to dig in the medkit.

Logan first disinfected it, comforting Janus when he squirmed in pain, then applied infection cream, “I’m going to kill them.” Janus looked at him in shock

“Come on starlight, you don’t mean that.” Janus rubbed the end of Logan’s tie while he pulled out the gauze 

Logan lined the gauze up carefully, “yes I do. No one should ever harm you. You deserve to feel safe.”

Janus fumbled a bit with his speech, a small tinge of blush spreading across his face, “still, you can’t kill them starlight. Thomas needs them..” Silence spread throughout the shared bedroom, “Logan, promise me that you won’t do anything”

Logan sighed, “I promise I won’t lay a finger on them love.”

Janus smiled and Logan could feel the amount of love in that simple action. The smile was wide and grateful as the yellow side leaned forward to kiss the tip of Logan’s nose. Logan chuckled slightly as he held out two small blue pills, to which Janus took happily and fell back onto the pillows with Logan's help.

“I love you Logan.”

“I love you too Janus.” Logan slid off the bed and walked to the other side, snapping his fingers to make the lights shut off as he slid into the bed. His love curling up to his chest.

Janus was right, Logan wouldn’t lay a finger on Virgil and Patton... 

But he would tell Thomas about them.

[ihatejanus-virgil4life]

Once Janus is out of the picture and Remus and Virgil move into the light side, one day Remus asks Logan if he can go get one of Remus’ stuffed animals from him and Virgils dark side room. Logan agrees because he’s best boyfriend. But when he eventually finds there room he is about a hundred times more concerned.

The room is just a bit bigger than a walk in closet, there’s a very stained mattress on the floor and several tattered blankets (Logan really hopes the stains aren’t blood). on top of the mattress is a small pile of equally as stained  stuffed animals. The room smells of vomit.

Logan really needs to get Remus and Virgil therapy

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Hey you remember that ask that went something along the lines of "Deceit shapeshifts into one of the light sides to see Virgil, but when Virgil flinches he learns that Virgil's new family isnt so nice after all." Or something similar, I'm off on the wording. Well I was thinking about it bc I have nothing else to do, and what if Janus planned out his acceptance arc just to get near Virgil to save him from them? Idk just wanted to share. Hope this isnt annoying!

Yo I love thiss!!!! Heck yeah!

I need a fic of this

[eliemo]

The Little Things

Now that they’re getting to know Virgil, welcoming him as family, the other sides begin to notice behavior they hadn’t picked up on before. Patton just wants him to feel safe. 

Words: 3,698

TW: Brief panic attack, Virgil thinks he’s gonna be punished or hurt for a few minutes. Also like one swear word 

They noticed the little things first. 

Logan was likely the first to notice how jumpy Virgil really was now that they were all spending more time together, how sensitive he was to loud noises and sudden movements, but Patton was fairly sure he was the only one to see beyond that. 

It wasn’t hard for Patton to pick up on how quickly Virgil would tense if he thought one of the other sides were in a particularly bad mood, how he would go quiet if someone raised their voice whether it was directed towards him or not, how he would reach for any excuse to retreat to his room if he thought something was wrong. 

It hadn’t been like that before they’d accepted him. He hadn’t been so scared. 

Or maybe...maybe he had, and they just hadn’t bothered to notice. 

Living either in almost total isolation or with the other dark sides his whole life, it was obvious Virgil wasn’t used to their way of life. He wasn’t used to the kindness and understanding they were offering. 

But that was ok. They would help him. He was family now, and he was learning. He was safe. 

But then...then the small hidden things became a bit more obvious, and it was clear this wasn’t just Virgil’s general anxiety. 

It was the ‘mug incident,’ as Patton had internally dubbed it, that had finally clued them in to how bad it really was. 

Roman, as kind and caring as he was, and how hard he tried, was never one to pick up on subtle signs. 

It was mid afternoon, Virgil perched on the armchair while Logan and Patton stood by the TV mulling over movie options, when Roman stormed in from the kitchen, a broken Disney mug in his hand, deep frown etched on his face. 

It wasn’t genuine anger, Patton knew Roman well enough by now to know that. It was just frustration amped up for the sake of dramatics. 

They all should have realized Virgil wouldn’t know to pick up on that yet. 

“Do any of you want to tell me why,” Roman announced, holding the pieces of the mug in the air. “My beloved Disney mug was left destroyed on the counter?” 

Logan turned to face him, unaffected, adjusting his glasses. “I assume because it broke.” 

“Obviously! Which one of you broke it?” 

“I did the dishes this morning, kiddo,” Patton said, smiling sadly at the broken mug. “It wasn’t broken when I saw it.” 

Logan sighed. “I did not go anywhere near your mug today, Roman. Besides, can’t you just fix it on your--” 

“It’s the principle of it!” Roman whirled around to Virgil, who had been silently watching the exchange with wide eyes. “Alright, emo! Confess to your crime!” 

Virgil actually jumped, fingers curling into the cushions of the chair, shoulders curling up to almost reach his ears. Roman was clearly expecting to banter back and forth, and Patton knew that in any other situation that was exactly what he would have gotten. 

“I-I didn’t break it,” Virgil said, stumbling over his words a bit, refusing to look Roman in the eye. “It wasn’t me.” 

Roman groaned and Patton frowned as Virgil went rigid. The creative side didn’t seem to be picking up on anything unusual, and Logan had gone back to flipping through channels. 

“Oh come on, Virgil! Obviously it was you, you’re usually the last one in the kitchen. It’s not even a big deal, why didn’t you just tell me it was broken?” 

Virgil shook his head, curling further into himself like he was hoping for his hoodie to swallow him up, and Patton slowly rose to his feet when he saw something far too close to genuine panic in his eyes. 

“I didn’t break it,” he said again, somehow even quieter than before. “I didn’t...I-I’m not lying, it wasn’t me, I’m...I haven’t been in the kitchen.” 

“But you--” 

“Roman,” Patton said, forcing his tone to stay light. “I was in a hurry this morning, maybe I just left it balancing on the shelf weird. And if not, I’m sure it was just an accident, right?” 

It was a bit too pointed to be taken as entirely casual, and Roman cleared his throat and shifted awkwardly, clearly picking up on Patton’s worry. 

But before Roman could hopefully change the subject, Virgil was speaking again, his voice now shaky and almost...desperate. 

“I didn’t...I didn’t do it, Roman I swear it wasn’t...i-if I had broken it I would have cleaned it up or-or fixed it I promise, I wouldn’t...I wouldn’t have-have left a mess.” 

Roman’s brow furrowed, and he briefly glanced back at Patton and Logan, whose attention had been recaptured by Virgil’s rambling. 

“I...I know,” Roman said carefully. “Virgil, I...I wasn’t gonna--” 

He took a step towards the armchair, freezing when Virgil flinched backwards, eyes impossibly wide and clouded with fear. 

“I-I didn’t break it!” It was louder this time, still small and trembling, staring at the other side like he was wielding a deadly weapon. “I’m not lying I swear I-I didn’t, I…” 

Patton could only stand there, looking helplessly between the two of them, Logan just as lost beside him, while Roman carefully set the mug down and slowly dropped to a crouch in front of the chair. 

“It’s ok, Virgil,” the prince said, soft and slow, and Virgil’s rambling abruptly cut off. “I’m not mad, see? It’s ok.” 

Virgil didn’t relax, didn’t move, just glanced briefly at Patton and Logan before turning back to Roman. “You...you were. You were mad, and you--” 

“I wasn’t,” Roman promised gently. “Even if you did break it--” 

“I didn’t,” Virgil insisted, then stiffened as if just realizing he’d interrupted Roman. But the prince just smiled again, extending an open palm. 

“I know. I believe you. I’m not mad, I was just messing around. I’m so sorry, Virgil. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

It took a moment for anything to change, Patton sending reassuring smiles and Logan quietly counting out a pattern for Virgil to regain control over his breathing. Roman didn’t move, knelt beside the chair with his arm outstretched and waiting. 

When Virgil finally began to relax, his eyes clearing a bit, he let out a shaky sigh and warily took Roman’s hand, still visibly tense like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“Kiddo?” Patton called after a moment, taking a careful step forward. “You alright?” 

He saw Virgil nod, swallowing roughly. “I’m fine,” he muttered. “Sorry for...sorry about that.” 

Logan frowned, moving to stand beside Patton. “I fail to see what you could have to apologize for, Virgil.” 

Virgil shrugged and rested his chin on his knees, but he still held on to Roman’s hand like a lifeline, and the Prince made no move to pull away. 

“My sincerest apologies,” Roman said. “It wasn’t my intention to scare you. I mean, I’d be a rather lousy excuse for creativity if I couldn’t fix a little broken mug, right? It wouldn’t have been a bother even if you had broken it.” 

It got a small, unsure smile from Virgil, but the anxious side still didn’t look particularly calmed. 

“Besides,” Logan spoke up, something unreadable in his expression. “A broken dish is nothing that should cause you distress. I’m sure you know you can always inform us if an accident happens without consequence.” 

It took a moment for Virgil to answer, hands clutching the cloth of his new hoodie, but he eventually nodded, not looking like he entirely believed what he was being told. 

“Yeah,” he said, voice strained. “Yeah, I just thought...I don’t know. It’s whatever, you guys. I’m fine.” 

They begrudgingly dropped the subject after that, seeing as how keeping the spotlight on Virgil was only succeeding in making him more uneasy, but Patton was sure to make very clear that his door was open if Virgil ever wanted to talk about it. 

It had been a little over a week now, and no one had mentioned the incident again, instead going back to focusing on making sure Virgil felt safe and included like they had since learning his name. 

They were all getting closer, even in the short time since accepting him, and Virgil was visibly relaxing. He was still anxious and withdrawn, but less so everyday. Things were getting better. 

And then…

And then things got worse. 

Virgil was having an off day. They could all see he was a bit extra jumpy and unfocused throughout the day. 

It made sense, Thomas had been particularly stressed and Virgil, as his anxiety, was handling the brunt of it. But he hadn’t locked himself up in his room like he would have done a week prior, and Patton considered that progress.  

Virgil had finally started eating with them regularly as well, more often than not hanging around long enough to help with prep and cleanup. 

The four of them were cooking dinner tonight, careful to keep the atmosphere calm and lighthearted, and Patton wanted to squeal with happiness each time he saw a tentative smile cross Virgil’s face. 

Patton and Logan were handling most of the food while Virgil and Roman washed, dried and put away dishes as they went, the prince humming Disney songs loud enough for everyone to hear. 

It was nice. They were finally a family, just as they should be. 

Honestly, what happened next was entirely Patton’s fault. He hadn’t even been thinking about how the other side might interpret it. 

The kitchen was roomy but it wasn’t huge, and it was a bit crowded with all four of them working in it at the same time. Patton was moving away from checking the stove just as Virgil was moving to put a clean plate away and ended up bumping into his shoulder as he made his way back to Logan. 

It happened so fast, Patton didn’t even get a chance to try and catch the plate as it slipped from Virgil’s hands and hit the ground with a crash, shattering into pieces. 

It wasn’t a big deal. Things broke all the time. In the mindscape, especially with Roman, they could clean it up and snap a new one into existence in moments. For a second, Patton didn’t think anything of it. 

“Whoops,” he said, stepping away from the glass shards. “Sorry about that, kiddo. You ok there?” 

There wasn’t an answer, and when Patton looked up he realized Virgil wasn’t even looking at him. He was staring at Logan. 

Logan, who had turned around at the sound of the noise, knife still in hand from chopping vegetables, watching with a mix of concern and confusion. And Virgil’s expression held more terror than Patton had ever seen. 

“Virgil--” 

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he managed, Logan only seemed more confused when Virgil only seemed to focus on him. “I-I didn’t...It was an accident.” 

“We know Virgil,” Logan said carefully, but the reassurance only seemed to panic Virgil more, wide eyes moving now to all three watching sides. “We are not--” 

“Lo,” Patton called softly, heart breaking when he saw where Virgil’s eyes kept landing. “You need to put that down, kiddo.” 

Logan cocked his head slightly, eyes widening when he followed Patton’s gaze to the knife still clutched in his hand. “My apologies, Virgil. I hadn’t realized.” 

And maybe Logan moved a bit too fast, maybe Virgil was too far gone in his panic to hear the apology, but moving to set the knife down on the counter behind him only seemed to break the dam holding back the last of Virgil’s fear. 

He jumped back, Patton wincing in sympathy when his back collided with the edge of the counter, but he didn’t even seem to register the impact. 

“I’m sorry, I-I’m so s-sorry, please, please I-I’ll clean it up! I’ll clean it up right now y-you don’t have to be mad I won’t...please, I can fix it, I can--” 

Patton would hate himself for it later, but in his desperation Virgil was lowering himself towards the broken glass, eyes never leaving Logan, moving like he was going to grab the shards with his bare hands, and parental instinct took over. 

“No!” Patton hurried forwards to stop him, and while he did get Virgil away from the glass, the outburst and sudden movements were definitely not what Virgil needed. 

The anxious side’s eyes filled with tears as he scrambled as far back as he could get, breathing quick and erratic, words coming out in frantic gasps. 

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to...I’m so sorry I just thought--” 

“No, no it’s ok!” Patton’s vision was beginning to go blurry with his own tears. “I just didn’t want you to get cut on the glass!” 

But Virgil wasn’t listening, pressed up against the wall, hands moving to protect his face like he expected someone to hurt him. 

It was so much different from the Virgil they’d gotten to know, scared and anxious sometimes but refusing to let himself fall apart in front of anyone, always holding himself to some standard of composure. 

Roman was clutching Patton’s arm, keeping him from rushing forward again, the prince pale and frozen. Logan had set the knife down, clearly doing all he could to compose himself and understand the situation. 

“Virgil,” the logical side said after a moment, more hesitant than Patton had ever heard him. “It was just an accident. Nobody is going to be upset with you. And I assure you, nobody here would ever have any intention of causing you harm.” 

“Of course not,” Roman said, Patton quickly agreeing. “What on earth made you so frightened, Stormcloud?” 

Virgil didn’t answer, gaze still jumping from one side to another, tense and trembling as he seemed to struggle to understand what was being said to him. 

“I...I’m sorry,” he said after a moment. It seemed to be his go-to phrase tonight. “I didn’t m-mean to ruin things.” 

“Oh, sweetie,” Patton said, still unable to move forward, furiously wiping tears from his cheeks. “You didn’t ruin anything. I promise.” 

“I…I’m s...I’m sorry.” 

“Perhaps,” Logan said suddenly. “It would be of benefit to you to discuss this outside the kitchen. Do you require assistance getting to the living room?” 

Virgil was still trembling, curled into a ball, eyes red and jaw clenched tight. “I...I think so. Sorry, I just--” 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, kiddo.” Patton glanced at the glass scattered across the floor, then at Roman, the only side still wearing shoes. “Will you--?” 

“I’ve got him.” 

It took a minute, Patton moving to stand by Logan while Roman carefully made his way to Virgil’s side like he was approaching a wounded animal. 

Patton didn’t miss how badly Virgil flinched when Roman lowered himself to the floor, how tense he went when the prince made a move to touch his arm. 

“I won’t hurt you,” Roman said softly. “You have my word. Can I carry you to the couch, please?” 

Virgil nodded, hesitant, and Patton’s heart broke at the quiet whimper that escaped when Roman carefully lifted him bridal style from the kitchen floor. 

“You’re alright,” Princey promised, sending a worried glance over his shoulder as Logan turned off the stove. “You’re safe, you’re ok. We’re almost there.” 

They made it to the couch quickly, Patton and Logan following closely behind, the three of them allowing Virgil his own space as soon as he was set down on the cushion. 

He instantly took advantage of it, pressing himself as far back as he could, knees pulled up to his chest, refusing to look any of them in the eye. 

Logan was seated on the coffee table across from him, Patton carefully lowering himself onto the opposite end of the couch, Roman perched beside him on the arm. 

Logan cleared his throat, hands folded in his lap. “Virgil--” 

“I-I don’t know,” Virgil said, still horribly small and shaky. “I’m sorry I just...thought y-you would all be angry with me. Again. If I...I-if I messed up and then I did and I thought...I thought--”

“Nobody’s angry,” Patton said. “Never over something like this Virge. And even if we were...you don’t ever need to be afraid of us.” 

Virgil hunched his shoulders, staring resolutely down at his lap. “I’m sorry. I should have...I’m sorry.” 

“It’s ok, we--” 

“I just-” Virgil took a breath, knuckles turning white in his grip, the three sides falling silent as they waited, hoping silently. “I just don’t...I don’t want to leave.” 

Logan tilted his head, confused, looking to the others who were equally perplexed. “Leave...where? We of course would never force you to go to your room if you’d prefer company.” 

Virgil shook his head, briefly squeezing his eyes shut, and Patton’s chest clenched in sympathy as he watched him fight to get his thoughts together. 

“I mean I don’t...want to go back. This has all been really great. You’ve...you guys have been really great. And I know you-you didn’t really like me before and now that you know you n-need-need me you could...you could do whatever you want to me if I f-fuck up or...or make me leave and I don’t want to...to lose this.” 

“Oh, baby…” Patton scooted forward, unsure how to respond, feeling his heart break in two. “Can I...Virgil, can I hug you?” 

Virgil’s gaze shot up from his lap, shocked, but he nodded and let Patton wrap his arms around him, cringing at how badly he was shaking beneath his hoodie, pulling him against his chest. 

The anxious side’s breath hitched, and Patton just held him tighter as he finally dissolved into sobs, clutching at Patton’s shirt like he thought he would be ripped away at any second. 

Like Patton would ever let him go. 

“It’s ok, kiddo,” he promised. “It’s alright. You’re family now, remember? Nothing’s gonna happen to you.” 

“Indeed.” At some point, Logan had gotten up from the coffee table to sit beside them, carefully putting a comforting hand on Virgil’s back. “Even if we were angry over something, it would be an issue we could easily work out. Together. You never need to be afraid of losing us.” 

The logical side began to rub soothing circles along Virgil’s hoodie, a clear attempt to help him settle down, while Roman cautiously scooted forward and placed his palm over Virgil’s hand, Patton still holding on tight. 

“You’re one of us now,” Princey said. “Which means I am sworn to protect you! As long as I live and breathe, you’ll never be alone again! No harm shall ever--” 

“Alright, Roman,” Patton said, gazing fondly at a now smiling Virgil. “I think he gets it.” 

Virgil gave a small nod, pulling back slightly from Patton’s embrace, breaths still tiny, hiccuping sobs. “Yeah. Uh, thanks, you guys for...yeah. Thank you.” 

“No need to thank us for stating the truth,” Logan said. “However, based on your reaction tonight, and the fact that this is not the first time something like this has happened, the logical conclusion is that this mindset is not a new occurrence. Am I correct?” 

Patton thought about the broken mug, how terrified Virgil had looked when he’d thought they were upset with him, how he’d practically begged Roman to believe him when the prince had advanced. He thought about how tense Virgil would get whenever someone would raise their voice. 

It was becoming more and more of a struggle not to start crying again. 

“I guess so,” Virgil murmured, cheeks flushed red. “I mean, I’m literally Anxiety. I’ve had some, uh, bad experiences, I guess.” 

“Kiddo--” 

“No, no it’s fine!” Patton didn’t miss how tightly Virgil was squeezing Roman’s hand now. “It’s my fault, it’s...I should have said something. I should’ve...warned you guys, and I’m r-really sorry.” 

Roman leaned forward, brow pinched. “Warned us?” 

“About all of this,” Virgil said, like it was something obvious. “I’m not...easy to deal with. You guys know that already but it’s not just my function, it’s...it’s just me. I’m difficult and I-I don’t know how to fix it and I’m really s--” 

“But we don’t want you to fix it,” Patton exclaimed before Virgil could apologize again. “We care about you, kiddo! Everyone’s gonna have flaws and setbacks. All of us, but that’s why you have family!” 

“We do want you to feel safe here,” Logan added. “We’re all willing to assist you in feeling more comfortable. But we have no desire to change or fix you. I for one, have quite enjoyed getting to know you properly.” 

Patton and Logan agreed without hesitation, beaming when Virgil hesitantly met each of their gazes. He looked like he was seconds away from bursting into tears again, but this time it would be from something much different than fear and devastation. 

“Oh,” he said, small but hopeful. “I...ok. Uh, same. To the...to the getting to know you guys thing. It’s been...it’s been really good.” 

Patton smiled, giving Virgil one last squeeze before scooting back, clapping his hands together. 

“I’m glad, kiddo,” he said. “You still up for dinner? Logan might even let us have ice cream for dessert!” 

“Uh, yeah,” Virgil managed, Roman leading him to his feet while Logan rolled his eyes with a fond smile. “I-I’m good.” 

“Excellent!” Roman was already making his way back to the kitchen. “I’ll clean up the glass and then we can continue!” 

“I can help if you--”

“Nonsense!” Roman disappeared  around the corner, already belting another Disney song, and Patton carefully took Virgil’s hands in his. 

He was still a bit wary, but Patton could practically see him fighting against it, battling every instinct screaming at him to pull away, isolate himself out of self defense. 

But he was still here. Still learning to love. 

Patton couldn’t be more proud. 

“Come on,” he said, pulling him towards the stairs. “No bare feet tonight, just to be safe. Don’t worry, I’ll let you borrow some of my fuzzy socks.” 

[sanderssidespersonalityswitchau]

Come on Virgil do ittttt.

[starboy14176]

Ts superpower au

Remus woods

21

He/it

Can control fire

5’4

Greysexual homoromantic

Was heavily abused by him and Romans parents

Depression, autistic, adhd, anxiety

Virgil and Patton are his best friends

Logan Is his boyfriend and Patton is his qpp

Is very close with Roman

Currently homeless and couch surfing

Has a villain complex because of the abuse

Caffeine addict

Repression is his(true)best friend

Can’t control his powers

Just wants him and Logan to have a normal life

Logan berry

22

He/him

Can move things with his mind

5’7

Asexual homoromantic

Was neglected by his parents

Ocd, depression

Doesn’t really have friends

Remus is his boyfriend

Isn’t close with family

Has a shitty studio apartment and no money

Overly independent

Drinks nothing but iced tea

Acts emotionless but absolutely isn’t

Can control his powers

Wants to have enough money to buy a house for him and Remus

Virgil night

21

He/they

Can control shadows

5’5

Pansexual

Got kicked out by his parents at 16

Anxiety, depression

Remus and Patton are his best friends

Janus is his boyfriend (buttttttt end game prinxety because Janus is a bitch in this)

Hasn’t spoken to his family sense he got kicked out

Lives in a apartment with Janus

Inferiority complex

Monster energy person

Super emotional

Can’t control his powers

Really wants to get a house

Janus foster

25

He/him

Can control people like a literal puppet master

5’9

Gay

Took Virgil in when Virgil was 16 and Janus was 20

insomnia

Is friends with some un-named creeps

Virgil is his boyfriend

Not close with family

Lives in a apartment with Virgil

God complex

Black coffee fan

Emotionally reserved

Can control his powers very well

Wants to keep Virgil forever

Roman woods

21

He/him

Can also control fire

5’6

Demisexual homoromantic

Was Heavily abused by him and remus’ parents 

Recovering from an eating disorder

Friends with Virgil and Patton

He’s currently single

Very close with Remus

Lives in a dorm for college

No self confidence

Drinks bang energy (I’m not taking criticisms)

Suppresses negative emotions

Can control his powers

Has a huge crush on Virgil

Patton heart

23

He/it

Can make force fields and can’t be affected by Janus’ magic

5’8

Asexual grayromantic

Was raised by his grandparents

autistic

Best friends with Virgil and Remus

Remus is his qpp

Hasn’t met his birth parents and doesn’t really want to

Has a niceish apartment

Feels like he needs to protect everyone

Hot coco boi

Also suppresses negative emotions

Can control his powers well

Just wants everyone to be happy

[scenecipriano]

Too Weary of Life

Part One

Part Two

Description: Logan Valez was always a lonely child...

TRIGGER WARNINGS:  Child murder, implied child neglect, non-graphic child murder, kidnapping, and Unsympathetic Patton

Relationships: Parental Moxietciet and Brotherly Losleep

------------------------------

May 1966

Logan Valez has always been lonely. He was seen as weird by his peers, always made fun of for wanting to read or speak like a grown-up. What his peers didn’t know was that nine-year-old Logan Valez had to grow up quickly.

“Alright, kid. Ma is out of town again and we have to go grocery shopping. You got the list?” His brother asks.

Logan looks up from his book and nods, he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose as they slide down from the motion.

“Of course, I’ve made sure to add a mix of healthy and unhealthy foods on it.”

Remy smirks and ruffles Logan’s hair, something the younger boy always pretended to hate.

For as long as Logan could remember, it had been him and his brother against the world. Their father bailed when Logan was two and Remy was nine. Their mother was still around, but she buried herself into her work in order to provide for them.  

It was just them and Logan, even though he had Remy, had never felt so lonely as he does now.

“Well, let’s head out. I’ve got a study date with Iris in an hour and I don’t want to be gone when she gets here.”

One rule that Remy had was that Logan couldn’t interrupt his dates. Logan didn’t mind this, especially when it was warm outside. It wasn’t often that he went outside, but when he did Logan always made sure to bring his favorite book and a snack. Sitting under the big oak tree that was in the backyard that always seemed to separate itself from the other trees that surrounded their neighborhood.

It was Logan’s favorite spot, one that he claimed as his own a long time ago.

“ Come, little children, I’ll take thee away, into a land of enchantment~.”

Logan looks up from his book startled, he glances around, he could see his brother inside the house seated at the kitchen table with Iris.

“Who’s there?”

“A friend, if you allow me to be one, kiddo!”

He jumps up when he hears a sweet voice speak from behind him, he turns around and sees a man with dark brown curls and bright blue eyes standing on the other side of the short wooden fence that surrounded their backyard.

The man wore what Logan guesses a black hooded cloak, he could see the beginnings of a white shirt and brown pants underneath the dark material. Round glasses sat on the man’s face, the thin wired frames looking outdated.

“W-Who…” Logan stammers as he takes a step back.

“I’m Patton! Gosh, I’m sorry I startled you! I was just on a walk with my two little ones and saw you over here all alone.”

Logan glances over his shoulder, looking at his house. He isn’t sure what to do, the man wasn’t actively hurting him, and Remy had a knack for getting annoyed first before even remotely listening to someone.

He looks back at the man when he hears him talking to someone, to his shock two little kids slightly younger than him were now next to Patton.

‘ See… He’s safe…’

“U-Um…” Logan stammers.

“Oh! I’m sorry, kiddo! This is Virgil and Janus. Would you like to join us for a walk? I’d hate to leave you here all alone.”

Logan hesitates for a moment, he should tell him, no, but something about the man’s presence made him feel safe, safer than he’s ever really felt in his nine years of living. He looks at the two little kids and blinks, something about them was… off.

“I-I um… I shouldn’t. Maybe next time, sorry.”

He’s shocked when he sees what looks like relief flash into the younger kid’s eyes.

“Oh… Well, that’s too bad then! Well, it was nice meeting… What was your name again?”

Logan takes a small step back and clears his throat, he was going to tell the man that strangers weren’t allowed to know his name, but that’s not what came from his mouth.

“My name is Logan Valez, it was nice to meet you as well, Patton.”

Logan watches as Patton offers him a small smile, before grabbing the two little kid’s hands and walking deeper into the woods just outside of his own reach.

The next day, Logan found himself outside again. It was just him in the house, Remy had gone out to cover one of his co-worker’s shifts at the diner that wasn’t too far from their house. He would only be gone for two hours, which doesn’t bother Logan. He likes having the whole house to himself.

He has sat under the tree again, his book next to him. He tried to read it, but he only managed to keep rereading the same sentence over and over again. Logan couldn’t stop thinking about the man from yesterday, Patton.

He asked his brother if he knew anyone by the name and if they had two kids, but Remy said as far as he knew no one named Patton had ever lived in their little town.

“Well, I’ll be darn! We meet again!”

Logan turns around startled, once again Patton stood on the other side of the fence, with the same clothes he had on yesterday, only this time the hood of the cloak was on his head.

“U-Um… Hi, are you on a walk with your kids again?” Logan asks.

“Actually, they’re at home. Got a sitter to watch over them while I took my own little stroll. Got too much on my noggin!”

Logan nods as he fully faces Patton, something told him to go inside and lock the doors, but he didn’t understand why.

“Say, Logan… Would you like to hear a story?” Patton asks.

He couldn’t help but perk up at the idea of a story, it’s been so long since someone has actually sat down and told him a tale.

“What’s the story about?”

Patton smiles and leans forward, his arms resting on top of the fence.

“It’s about a witch who lives in the woods…”

That night, Logan is awoken by a warm breeze blowing over him, he slowly blinks his eyes open and grabs his glasses from the nightstand. He could still hear the loud movie  his brother was watching downstairs with Iris.

Logan puts his glasses on, he doesn’t remember his window being opened before going to bed.

“ Come little children, I’ll take thee away~”

Logan blinks a slow smile stretching across his face as the melodic voice washes over him. This song sounded familiar and a small part of Logan screamed for him to run to Remy, but he couldn’t refuse the voice.

He slips out of bed, treading across the cool wooden floor. Logan opens his door, the light from the hallway flooding his room.

“ Come little children, the times come to play. Here in my garden of shadows~”

Logan walks out of his room and down the hall, the sounds of guns going off and men shouting filled his ears, but even the loud moving couldn’t block out the sound of the voice that lulled him out of the house.

“Logan? Why aren’t you in bed?” Remy asks, the television now turned down.

“I wanna go outside, it’s okay.”

Logan ignores his brother’s calls as he walks out the front door, he rounds the side of the house and into the backyard through the left open gate.

“Follow sweet children, I’ll show thee the way. Through all the pains and the sorrows~”

The grass tickled the soles of Logan’s feet as he made his way across the backyard, he felt someone grab his hands.

“Logan! What’s wrong, why are you acting so weird?” Remy demands.

“ Weep not poor children, for life is this way, murdering beauty and passions~”

“I have to go now, Remy…”

He pulls away from his brother and walks the rest of the way, passing the big oak tree he sat under earlier that day.

The gate blocking him from the woods around them, swings open. A figure in a black cloak appears before him, glowing blue eyes looking right at him.

“LOGAN!”

“It’s time to come home kiddo…”

That was the last Remy Valez ever saw of his brother.

------

TAGLIST~ @imma-potatoo