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rjmhereunderprotest · 2 years ago

Text

Evergreen Evermore

"Sometimes you do get everything you want." Beast Boy says in the opening issue of the "Technis Imperative." A miniseries advertising a fight between the Teen Titans and Justice League, was actually a story reaffirming that the Titans overall are a family. A found family of friends united in the cause of heroism. If there were ever two characters who best emphasized this element of their mythos, it's been Garfield Logan and Raven.

Beast Boy came from a broken family of fellow freaks that even he couldn't find a place in. Raven escaped a destiny thrust on her by an abusive father. And through the Titans they found their true selves, where they belonged among friends and, eventually, found each other.

Beast Boy and Raven are the most popular Teen Titans ship out there. They didn't start out that way, they didn't always love each other, but in the past few decades, that's changed real fast. These two characters found the most unlikely of romances with another, against every sort of odd placed against them. From rival ships to shifting writing teams, but now they're as cemented as Gambit and Rogue or Lois and Clark. And as a person who has been with them since the ship truly took off, it's been a journey. And want you to join me on looking back on it. This is how, if you wait long enough, sometimes... you can get everything you ever wanted.

Origins

Beast Boy and Raven met when Raven first formed the New Teen Titans, the seminal George Perez & Marv Wolfman run that kicked off the golden era/standard of the Teen Titans. Raven formed the Teen Titans to defeat her father, the Demon Lord Trigon. Through a harrowing series of events, battling the evil Hive, facing down Deathstroke, recovering from the betrayal of Terra, the Titans eventually triumphed against Raven's father.

It was a tumultuous period for the team, but for Raven and Beast Boy, it was more about personal affirmation and growth within themselves. There's very little to go on concerning romantic entanglements between the two. The most one can glean is Raven's distrust of Terra as possible jealousy, but that's a stretch. Raven was not ready for such a relationship, she fear her own emotions too much to commit to anyone. Garfield mostly tried to pester her to give in to those emotions, but he could come off as an annoying little brother more often than not.

What's important here is establishing what both were going through at the time. For Beast Boy, it was mostly about becoming comfortable in his own skin around others. For a very long time, his class clown routine was hiding a very sensitive kid, one that tried to keep himself guarded with humor. Gar was very prone to emotional reactions more than anyone as a result. It was why Terra's betrayal in "Judas Contract" hurt him so much, he truly did love her and she felt nothing for him, less than nothing, she secretly hated him.

And yet she has a statue in their hall of fame despite being a psychotic murdering monster, go figure.

Raven, however, was very guarded in that she didn't show anything. Garfield wore his heart on his sleeve, Raven kept it locked up tight, fearing what it do to those around her if she let it loose. When Raven was free of her father's influence, becoming Raven the White as I call her, she tried desperately to engage with those emotions for the first time but was clearly confused about how to react to all of them. For a time she believed she was in love with Dick Grayson, Nightwing, but she was confusing her platonic affection for a friend with romance, which she had felt before now. Raven's struggle has always been trying to connect to those emotions, trying to properly understand them for herself as much as she can for others, being an Empath. So at the time, she was not fully formed into her own sense of self, only being able to explore so late in life.

At this stage, as said before, you can only mostly see Raven and Beast Boy as siblings. However they are not devoid of connection to each other. Raven remained close with all the Titans and relied on Garfield as much as anyone, entrusting him in fact with a part of her soul self during another bout of the Evil Influence of her Daddy. However, the Wolfman/Perez era ends with Beast Boy and Raven as merely that, friends and subsequent eras saw Raven either separated from her body entirely or Beast Boy not on the Teen Titans proper anyway.

And not many people gave it a second thought honestly. Raven wasn't looking for love, Beast Boy was hung up on Terra, she was a bit older than him, he was an immature kid. The Goth and Class Clown, that's all they were in the Teen Titans' little Breakfast Club.

What changed?

Everything.

The Spark Ignites

The Teen Titans cartoon of the early 2000s was where the ball really got rolling. With DC Animation on a roll, the decision to create an anime-influenced show aimed at younger kids to compliment their ongoing made-for-older kids fair, Teen Titans catapulted the team and the characters into an entirely new era. And with it came new dynamics between everyone, Beast Boy and Raven included.

Raven became less shut off, embracing the sarcastic goth element of her archetype. Beast Boy became even more of a comic relief character, emphasizing his funny quirks and silly attitude even greater than the comics had. Raven was, of course, the greatest departure, her powers being upgraded and her relationship with the other members of the team being more reserved, closed off and restrained. Episodes around her focused on her coming out of her shell and interacting, getting to know her new friends, and accepting her emotions. Beast Boy's were generally more comedic outings, suiting his voice actor, Greg Cipes, comedic sensibilities. Not to say he didn't get serious episodes, he did, plenty. But the emphasis on both characters was obvious, they were directly opposed opposites more than ever.

And as a result they kept getting paired off, often in those episodes that allowed Beast Boy to act outside his comedic comfort zone. But outside of those, both characters became an eternal straight/funny man duo. And it was some of the best banter on the show.

Beast Boy seemed to make it his mission to make Raven crack a smile, to laugh at one of his jokes, to find him funny. Raven of course resisted, chastising his frankly childish behavior as just that. A silly distraction she couldn't afford. She could be scary at times in her responses to his antics and yet Beast Boy didn't give up, he kept trying to make a connection with her.

And this was where I came in.

Their interactions on the show were so much fun and so flirtatious coded I couldn't help but see them as romantic partners. And I sought out a community of like-minded individuals who felt the same on an online forum. There we shared our thoughts on the series, how the characters were evolving, and how much they seemed to truly care for each other even as they got on each other's nerves. And in time we sorta formed a little family of our own, as communities often do when they share common interests online. And we had a lot to be interested in because, throughout the years, Beast Boy and Raven always seemed like the highlight of any episode, even if wasn't about either of them.

To go over every moment of the series would get old fast and this would just become one of countless "proof of canon" lists. But I do feel there are specific episodes that helped cement Beast Boy and Raven as romantic interests, more so than others. "Nevermore" is one, where Beast Boy and Cyborg enter Raven's mind and discover just how guarded her emotional state is. Her emotions are in fact split into various personalities within her mindscape, compartmentalized to an extreme degree to keep them under control.

Beast Boy has felt routinely ignored and belittled by Raven since the show started and just can't seem to get her, thinking she just likes being mean to him. But that is far from the case. In fact, we learn from Happy Raven (Pictured above) that she actually DOES find Beast Boy funny. In fact, all of Raven's emotions reveal that she does actually value her friends and cares about their opinions of her, as Sad Raven seems to suggest. That she loves being a hero and saving lives, Brave Raven. But she keeps it all locked away for her own protection as well as others. A fight with Anger Raven, who has gone out of control, actually enables Beast Boy to not only reach a point of understanding with Raven but also allow her to realize she doesn't have to do all this self-care alone anymore. It's the first time both Raven and Beast Boy actually reach common ground and can confidently be viewed as friends.

"Spellbound" is a test for Raven in actually utilizing her emotions and exploring them, but realizing people can and will take advantage of her. She allows a mysterious magic user trapped in one of her books, Malchior, to teach her his knowledge. And while Raven grows happier and more accustomed to her emotions, she also starts growing apart from her friends, cutting them off more and more as she envelops herself in this new relationship. Only realizing when it's too late that Malchior is not only a Dark Magic user, but also not the wizard from the story. He's the dragon and Raven just accidentally freed him.

After the battle atop Titans Tower concludes with the miserable lying dragon locked away again, Beast Boy comes to check on Raven. He's actually been the most concerned about how she's been acting lately. And was a lot more concerned about Raven when Malchior escaped, than the others were initially.

Raven is still feeling hurt, but while the source of her change was bad, Beast Boy doesn't want her to shut down again. Yes, Raven is creepy, but that doesn't mean Beast Boy and the Titans want her to remain in her room locked away. Raven isn't as alone in things as she believes she is. And the Titans, Beast Boy in particular, are there for her. Raven exits her room and hugs Beast Boy in response. The moment is ruined by Cyborg's stankball, but Raven actually participates in the game she earlier derided in the episode. It's obviously a big moment for Raven, allowing her a chance to connect with Beast Boy and show affection and gratitude.

Raven returns the favor actually a few episodes later in "Beast Within", where Beast Boy's animal-shifting abilities suddenly become more feral when he is doused with a chemical. It makes him more violent and angry. Eventually, he turns into a werewolf creature of sorts. At first, it's feared he attacks Raven and kidnaps her, but that's not the case. A villain, Adonis, got doused with similar chemicals and became an identical-looking monster. Beast Boy defended Raven when he attacked the tower and her.

While things are cleared up, Beast Boy is clearly shaken about what was inside of him and how it came out. Raven, possibly recognizing that for once Beast Boy has more in common with her than she thought, tries to comfort him.

Reminding Beast Boy that while that thing is inside him, he controls it. More importantly, even as that monster he still protected her. Learning to control when to let it out is what makes Beast Boy a man, not a monster. He almost ruins the moment himself this time with a joke, but there's still a clear connection forged here. Beast Boy and Raven do understand one another better by this point. Moreso than ever.

That connection would be tested by more than just villains but also rivals of the ship itself. Terra's Introduction to the Series was a major roadblock for some. Unlike her comic counterpart, she was more sympathetic and likable and did not hate the Titans. Her apparent "death" being petrified always presented an out that she could return. Season 4 chose Robin to be Raven's anchor throughout the arc as she battled her demons at last in the face of Trigon's return. This was probably more because they used Slade to be Trigon's herald and Robin and him were archenemies more so than any other Titan. But the idea in many people's minds was that Robin and Raven were the theoretical endgame. Their platonic partnership reads as romantic to some.

This happens a lot honestly, people read things into moments and interactions than what is actually there. They see patterns and they recognize personal preferences. And it always leads to ship wars. BBRae vs RobRae was frankly bigger than BBT, although the latter was persistent and often times aligned with the former rival. It stayed that way for most of season 4 and even after. Frankly, it was somewhat annoying to see Robin seemingly taking over a storyline to a degree that should've been Raven's, just because his archenemy was suddenly the minion of the new one. Even weirder still was seeing a bunch of the build-up concerning Robin and Starfire's relationship put on hold for this season. All the while they tried to insist on this connection with Robin that, had largely, gone ignored until now in favor of bonding with Beast Boy.

However, it was obvious enough in hindsight that we probably had nothing to actually concern ourselves with. It was always going to be Robin and Starfire in the end, there was no doubt. They had invested too much in creating that romance subplot to just abandon it. In fact, sadly that was the actual problem for BBRae in the show, strangely enough. Every romantic possibility was secondary to RobStar in the eyes of the creative team. They didn't discourage other ships, but they didn't see the connections to the same degree others had. To them, Beast Boy and Raven were a sibling dynamic, despite the connection being far from platonic in many people's eyes. But no, Robin and Starfire were the primary romantic concern for the showrunners, they were the teen love story on the series and there was no room for a second.

As for Terra, her connection with Beast Boy was cut off entirely at the show's finale, "Things Change." Terra came back and she didn't seem to remember or want to remember her time with the Titans and Beast Boy didn't understand why she wouldn't. He kept trying to convince her to come back, but she was adamant, that wasn't her life anymore. It never would be. Beast Boy had to accept that, as the final lesson any teenager has to learn, growing up and accepting change. However, fans didn't appreciate the lesson, mostly we were just annoyed everything got cut off in a fade to white before the weird monster the Titans were fighting could be defeated.

It was frustrating, to say the least, to have to deal with the fallout of the finale. BBT shippers were resurgent for a few months, trying to fix things so Terra would be forced to return. One guy did not get the message and repeatedly kept writing stories to force things to go back to how he wanted them. He turned Beast Boy into a rip-off of a Paper Mario villain who almost destroyed reality because his Ex didn't want to get back with him. Yeah, strangely enough not many people found the depiction very sympathetic.

We had our laughs with it, but mostly I was just tired of it all. I wanted to focus on Beast Boy and Raven, but with Terra still around in the background, it always gave ammunition to the what-if scenario. That maybe she could come back.

However, the show was over, and that was beyond all of us now. We had to move forward and accept that. Thankfully, we had other content because while the TV Show's writers weren't interested in any other romance subplot but Starfire and Robin... the comics had started to come around.

Meanwhile, In Another Universe...

Geoff John's run on Teen Titans started around the same time the TV Show did and essentially recreated the same cast you saw there with a few introductions to the team from Young Justice, fresh off the appalling Graduation Day special that basically scuttled their book and the previous Teen Titans series. The run has its ups and downs, I'm not here to claim otherwise, but it is still highly regarded and loved. Especially among BBRae shippers, because it opened the door for them to be comics canon. And this is where our story REALLY begins.

John's first story was in fact about the resurrection of Raven into a new body, younger, more powerful, and in line with what was being planned out for the cartoon. The changes to her powerset and age were clearly an attempt at synergy, but the results were self-evident.

Beast Boy is actually among the first of the Titans to see Raven in her new body and as a result snaps her out of being ensnared by Brother Blood's control. She returns to her friends, the Titans, now truly reborn and free of her father's influence once and for all. While she remains guarded, dark, and goth as ever she isn't nearly as cut off from her emotions. And over the coming issues, it becomes pretty apparent she and Beast Boy were becoming much closer.

And then came issue 30 of the run and this page...

This shook every shipper in the fandom. Geoff Johns just made our ship canon, we honestly couldn't believe it. We felt like we were being listened to, specifically catered to. This was also around the time the show was ending, so the prospect that we could still continue... well it suddenly brought new life to things. From a creative staff on a show that didn't care to the comics suddenly confirming things, to say it was wild to be right there in the thick of it when it happened... it was a weird feeling.

We probably got a bit egotistical, thinking we had willed this into being by how popular the ship was on the show. Truth is Johns had already decided on this well in advance. Comic runs are planned out years ahead of publication. Johns has apparently stated he wanted a romance for young and old fans. Said young fans got Cassie Sandsmark, Wonder Girl, and Connor Kent, Superboy. As holdovers from Young Justice, the fans of which had migrated now to Teen Titans, it just made sense. And while Starfire was on the team, Dick Grayson was not, so Raven and Beast Boy became the natural fit. But at this point, a canon connection, a romantic one, had been established between the two.

However, there's further context to this story and it's not all happy. This page was taking place during a storyline that revealed the gates to the Afterlife had just been left open, allowing a lot of dead people to just come back. Raven and Beast Boy, after this kiss, manage to travel to the underworld and close it back up. Raven is somewhat guarded over the whole kiss thing, but it is confirmed they start up a romance. It is unfortunately not long-lived, because this storyline was the precursor to a much bigger event, Infinite Crisis, because Superboy Prime punching reality caused the door to crack open. Infinite Crisis was also written by Geoff Johns, and the events of that story would lead into One Year Later. That was a line-wide promotion where every comic book jumped one year into the future in-universe. And in that one year of time... Beast Boy and Raven broke up.

The reason took a while to be revealed, but essentially, Beast Boy's attempts at leading the Teen Titans put a strain on their relationship and sadly they ended things after a disastrous mission got a lot of Titans killed. Not Beast Boy's fault mind you, DC kills Teen Titans like it's going out of style. They were fighting Black Adam, it was inevitable.

For a good amount of time, Beast Boy and Raven were off the Titans and it was up in the air that their romance would ever continue considering it ended just as suddenly as it started.

Judd Winick took over a new Titans book a few years later, starring mostly the same team from the cartoon with some additions. But Beast Boy and Raven were back on the same team and that held promise for the couple. The opening storyline once again featured another plot by Trigon, or more accurately his spawn, to complete the apocalypse Raven wimped out on. Raven was understandably very disturbed by the prospect her Pops was back and Beast Boy was more than a little concerned. That storyline ended with her evil self once again being purged, but with Raven fearing her innate evilness could arise again. Beast Boy and Raven continued to interact heavily though. At one point, he even held her hair back while she was puking in a toilet. Only someone who really loves you is going to go that far for you, honestly.

Raven, however, seemed reluctant to return Beast Boy's advances, again because she feared what could happen if she allowed her emotions free reign. So it was the TV Show dynamic all over again but with a more overtly romantic tone. It was obvious Raven had unresolved feelings for Beast Boy, but was reluctant to actually give in to them. That was until issue 100 of "Teen Titans" proper though, when Raven finally confronts why she's been avoiding admitting her feelings for Gar.

A touching moment, the culmination of a whole run of comics dealing with Raven's emotional safeguards and Beast Boy trying to break through them. It took forever, but at last, they were back together. Just like we all wanted!

Too bad this was the final issue before Flashpoint happened and then the New 52 showed up! Because Dan Didio really, REALLY wanted to do that reboot and scuttle the whole damn project! So Flash almost destroys the world through time travel only to sorta save it by kinda fixing it, but actually creating a whole new continuity for everything! Thus, Erasing all this progress with Beast Boy and Raven practically overnight. You win some, you lose some. The two kissing in this final issue was basically a consolation prize. Here's your ship, losers, now enjoy our new gritty reboot! It was kind of a gut punch and the prospect of starting all over again did not feel good.

But there's a benefit to starting fresh... less baggage, a better understanding of what worked and what didn't. And while the writers and editorial weren't ready to go all in on them, Beast Boy and Raven wouldn't be kept apart forever. The question was, what would they become in this new world?

Back to Square One?

It took a long time for Beast Boy and Raven to actually find each other again in the New 52, which was frankly not a good time for any of the Titans. Starfire was written to be a sexual goldfish fantasy palling around with Jason Todd and a Trucker Hat-wearing Roy Harper. Rose Wilson had been outright reverted into a villain. The new Teen Titans team had none of the characters we were familiar with save for maybe Robin but he was Tim Drake, not Dick Grayson. And all of the teen heroes were wrapped up in the stupidity that was Harvest, a dumb-as-rocks villain with confusing motives and goals. It was a shit show that no Titans fan was into but was forced to watch.

As you can see, Garfield was now red, to tie him closer with "The Red" the mystic force counter to "The Green.' The latter controls all plant life whereas the former concerns animals, so if Beast Boy is all about animals and "The Red" is all about animals, then Beast Boy is now red. It didn't last because no one really liked it. The New 52 had an aversion to most colors that weren't edgy like black and red, even Nightwing was infected by it. Eventually they got over the phase though.

Raven herself was on Trigon's side in this continuity, because the New 52 seemed to be big on making more heroes into villains than actually doing anything interesting with the characters they owned. She mind-controlled Beast Boy in this encounter, not exactly a good start to things, but eventually, she did her proper heel-face turn and freed Gar of his mind control.

And this is where things get... weird for the ship. Because strangely enough, despite their rocky start, Beast Boy and Raven remained close. In fact, they're practically joined at the hip. In contrast to their original depiction as friends but fairly distant, they're close friends from the start in this continuity. It is clear at this point that the dynamic has shifted, the universe might be rebooted, but Raven and Beast Boy still care deeply for each other. They're not romantic, but they're basically best friends.

In fact, I'd argue that they're even closer as Raven doesn't hide her feelings around Gar like she used to. Their time together, him encouraging her, caring about her, insisting she isn't alone anymore, has fostered a deep bond. Raven even LAUGHS at his jokes now... openly. They go on missions together, back each other up, he even checks in on her mid-battle! It's kinda insane to see them so in sync so early on in their relationship in this continuity... but it's there.

This continues, Raven and Beast Boy are constantly there for one another. No matter how many twists and turns towards the stupid "The New 52" and later "Rebirth" Era take, Beast Boy is there for Raven and Raven is there for Beast Boy. Saving each other's lives, coaching them through really traumatic situations, and just plain hanging out or texting. They're basically a couple already, they're just not making out, even the other characters start to take notice.

There were attempts to give Raven someone else as a boyfriend. During Damian Wayne's stint as leader of the Titans, more accurately Starfire but let's not sweat details, they tried to set her up with Kid Flash, the new one. That did not last at all, it was rejected by fans and ended around the time Heroes in Crisis basically fucked over the Flash Family in general. It was an experiment that simply did not work and felt more like an attempt to give the New Kid Flash legs because he wasn't connecting as well with the fanbase, especially with the pre-New 52 Wally back.

In fact, I barely remembered it until I started writing this little project, that's how little impact it had on me. That was the problem with a lot of "The New 52's" additions to the canon. They were made with good intentions but with no practical ideas on how to actually make them work. I don't even know if anyone is really that big of a fan of the New Wally West. This isn't to deride the character, it's just... Wally with Raven was so nothing. The precedent was Raven, way back in the Wolfman/Perez days, originally made the first Wally West think he was in love with her using her empathic abilities. This was to get him to join the Titans and it was pretty skeevy of her. Why bring that back in? The point is, it just never rang true and was quickly gone and forgotten once that run on the Titans ended.

By Titans Academy, the dynamic between Gar and Raven takes its next most logical step. With both of them becoming instructors at the school for teen heroes, their relationship basically fosters into a more paternal one, and when you're taking care of kids together...

They've stopped time in this story to have a date with each other... yeah at this point they've stopped kidding themselves. Need I remind you this is over several books, various writers, changes in editorial management, narrative directions, and a ton of events just dropping in to disrupt the ever-chaotic status quo of the DC Universe... and yet NOTHING walks this back. No one is trying to separate them as friends and attempts to stick Raven with someone else do not stick for long. The comics repeatedly insist, despite their differences, they are close and remain close no matter how strange things get.

By this point, even before they start actively dating again, they're canon... again!

How? How did this happen? Despite "The New 52" erasing several decades worth of comic book continuity and history, years separated from one another before they even met, they are basically set up as girlfriend and boyfriend in everything but name! Their dynamic might not be entirely the same, but the relationship has survived the reboot and survived every single new writer and editor and line-wide shakeup thrown at them. And the lone attempt to throw a monkey wrench in the potential romance? Promptly forgotten after being utterly rejected by fans.

The simplest explanation is obvious, the people who grew up with the TV Show in their teens are now in charge and that dynamic stuck with them. It made sense to put these two diametrically opposed characters together and see how it works. And arguably, it's probably the healthiest, most positive relationship in the entire reboot era, which has been saturated with DC screwing the pooch on a lot of popular ships since day one. (Even after Lois got back with Clark, they still kept her bitch personality. Let's not even start with how they handled Batman and Catwoman for a while.)

If it was just the comics though it wouldn't mean much but fans finally upgrading to official writers and making their ship fics real. There is more to this and for that, we have to look to a corner of the fandom that is somewhat... maligned.

Dare to be Stupid

Teen Titans Go! is a show fraught with baggage. The fandom of Teen Titans still remains somewhat split on things. It's the old cast from the original show, voicing the same characters and everything. But now they're no longer doing the serious superhero stories. Now every episode is basically one of the filler one-offs that took time off from the big seasonal arcs. Specifically, the goofy ones that Beast Boy took the lead on. Nothing is taken seriously, the characters have been Flanderized to their hyper-comedic personas, and any semblance of a seasonal arc or overarching narrative is gone in favor of episodic adventures full of silly goofball stuff.

For a time, I did not like the show. Frankly, it somewhat strained things with a good friend of mine. He hadn't been a fan of the original show, he preferred the comics. I was confused why he was so into this new clearly more childish show, but he claimed it was because it was indeed funny and because BBRae was actually canon this time.

I was not initially convinced, saying something to the effect that he was being roped in because of his shipping preferences. He took offense to that and frankly, I was wrong to do so. It wasn't fair. Thankfully it didn't ruin our friendship, mostly because I actually changed my opinion on the show when I saw a clip from its April Fool's episode's ending. In it, they all seemed to conclude their various character arcs. Gar and Raven became engaged, Cyborg planned to leave for the Justice League, Robin became Nightwing and was about to kiss Starfire... and then April Fools!

At that moment, I understood... this show does not care what I think of it. It simply does not care if I think it is stupid or juvenile or dumb. It doesn't give a single shit about my nostalgia or my demands upon it. It is perfectly happy with being itself and what itself... is a silly superhero show for children. And they are having fun making it, all of them... and I realized that hating it for being true to itself was... dumb of me. I can't make the show what I want to be because of what I want. It wouldn't be their show if that's how it went down. My problem wasn't with this show existing, it was the lack of serious superhero cartoons to balance it out, but that wasn't its fault. This team was never gonna make that show, they already made that show. In fact, when I got that show I thought I wanted when Young Justice returned, I ended up hating it because it took itself even more seriously than any superhero show should. Hating TTG! for being what it wants to be is like hating the MCU for making superheroes fun and accessible to everyone. And the last thing I want to be is like one of those MCU haters.

This segways nicely into our main question: But why here? What makes this stupid show something where BBRae can happen, but the in the more serious-minded original cartoon it's ignored despite the chemistry? Simple, it's been long enough that both the writers have realized where the REAL romantic intrigue was with the original cast... and TTG! makes it easier to come to fruition.

I don't watch the show, even if I no longer hate it. The series is just not for me. I'm not sure its style of humor, reminiscent of Spongebob and similar episodic kids' series, works with me as well as it might have back when I was a kid. I'm older now, and my humor preferences have changed. That doesn't make it not funny, it's just not something I'm particularly going to find funny. The point is, this style of humor allows Raven to be a lot less closed off. Now that everyone has shifted somewhat in personality to be more exaggerated, they are more in line with Beast Boy who has not really changed. And as a result Raven, who in the original show had a strong connection to Beast Boy, even if it was platonic, is less sheltered and closed-off. She gets involved more, she laughs more, and she does more weird insane things. It's easier for her to not take things seriously. Therefore, it's easier for her to be with Beast Boy because all the walls are already down.

Similar to what eventually happened in the New 52. The closeness, the similarities, the familiarity, the friendship, the work... it had already been finished! Not in the same sense, but in the general essence of that slow development. Strangely enough, because the show no longer took itself so seriously, Raven had even more in common with Beast Boy than ever despite retaining her differences.

Weirdly enough, it was now Robin and Starfire who became more at odds because Robin's insistence on being cool, mature, and badass has made it harder for him to see Starfire's obvious affection for him. At the same time, he's not in a place to return it despite clearly liking her. Beast Boy is not concerned with that and Raven is not nearly as against the idea as she was in the original show. When Trigon is no longer evil incarnate, but just another asshole animated dad that pops in to create a problem of the week, the dangers of Raven's "unchecked emotions" becomes just another gag.

When everything is a joke stakes don't matter and, as I pointed out, this show is actively against creating real stakes. The Titans in this series regularly fight Santa Claus... he's their biggest villain. Not Slade, Not Trigon, Santa! And from what I can gather it's mostly because he won't give them presents because they are on the naughty list for obvious reasons. None of this can be taken seriously! Raven collects Pony Plushes as a nod to Tara Strong playing Twilight Sparkle around the same time. Beast Boy spends an entire episode with Cyborg only saying the word "Waffle." This is not a series that really cares that much about anything other than having a laugh. Raven's biggest hang-up, being the anti-christ, is no longer a major issue because this series DEFIES the concept of taking anything Superhero related as seriously.

So in that context, when everything is already a joke, what's stopping her from being with Beast Boy, the biggest jokester in the group? Especially when she clearly likes having fun and making jokes as much as the rest of the group? The answer: Nothing! She can be open with her feelings and Beast Boy's immaturity isn't as big of a turn-off because she's just as immature and silly. And time and distance have proven their chemistry was more compelling, so the relationship becoming canon is easier to slot in here than anywhere!

So comics readers and kids now have two versions of this relationship that are canon. But during this push in both mediums, the tidal wave was already building... until the dam just broke completely.

Green and Purple Everywhere!

It wasn't very long until it seemed Beast Boy and Raven were everywhere as a couple. And DC wasn't just letting it happen, they actively encouraged it. Popping up in skins in Fortnite as a promotional stunt is one thing, being introduced together, as romantically involved, was essentially a stamp of approval. A statement that these characters were inexplicably linked. And it was not the only thing they were doing, they were recruiting outright shippers and fans of them into the creative process.

DC pushed a YA Graphic Novel with art by Gabriel Picolo, best known for drawing the Titans as real-world teenagers. Especially BB and Raven... together... constantly. DC at this point clearly considers that these two as a couple is a profitable arrangement. That there is simply enough love for it and engagement with it that it only makes sense to go with it and make money off of it. You do not sell a book like this if you don't think there's an audience for it. Marvel has made bank by teasing people about Peter and MJ's epic love story despite not wanting them to be officially together in the comics... for years now!

And to top it all off... they became a meme! A very ridiculous meme where Raven demands Beast Boy turn into animals for hanky panky, but a meme nonetheless. Once you get to that point the ship is firmly ingrained in pop culture.

Even when they aren't together as a couple, they are together as a dynamic. The live-action Titans show maintained the two as very close friends. While the show never went the extra mile, it was obvious that the chemistry was there and the showrunners wanted to maintain it. Keeping them as close friends and connected together in their sub-plots. The first few episodes basically have him bringing her home to his weird family, The Doom Patrol, and having dinner with them. It goes a bit south from there as I understand, but not from anything Gar does. Beast Boy is presented as Raven's anchor throughout the series an important one that keeps her sane and tethered to the people who care and value her. And apparently, that very close friendship even outlasted Dick and Kory being a thing on this show. Which ended abruptly between seasons because it feels like DC told them to do it more than anything.

I can't say why they didn't just make them romantically linked, especially given that they were becoming canon everywhere else. Perhaps the creative team wanted to show a sorely needed platonic boy-girl friendship uncomplicated by romance. Let's be honest, those are in low supply these days. However, the fact remains they kept them close and, from everything I've read and heard, they are adorable together. So even if they aren't romantic on the show they have been part of why it succeeded so much as one of its more stand-out elements among fans.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say that projects that didn't make Raven and Beast Boy close friends at the very least failed more or less. The Reboot of Young Justice didn't even have Raven in it and Beast Boy was dating some princess for a while. That show never retained enough interest in fans and was canceled, again. The Teen Titans animated movies in the New 52 Verse that came out on Blu-Ray and DVD? They tried hooking Raven up with Damian Wayne and they only got together when they basically killed off the whole Animated New 52-Verse completely. Now, in the comics, Damian is dating some skeleton-make-up chick who literally stole his heart from his chest. He got better. The point is he's nowhere near to dating Raven in the comics who is depicted as much older than him by now. There is no push for them to be together. The RobinRaven ship has completely sunk to the bottom at this point.

Hell, Terra didn't even get together with Beast Boy in Young Justice's reboot, and they were doing the whole "Judas Contract" thing with her there too! How do you do "Judas Contract" without Beast Boy getting his heart ripped out by the betrayal of Terra? It's insanity!

The point is... no romance for these two sticks unless they're with each other! DC has all but given up on trying to do anything else. The collective voice of fans, inside and outside of the industry, has made it clear who their OTP is. Maybe it started off in the comics as a lark, and maybe the cartoon never was serious about it, but it doesn't matter in either case! At this point the ship is just synonymous with the Titans, maybe more so than even RobStar. DC has seemingly retired that romantic pairing from service despite the clear equally as huge love for it because they want to consolidate Dick's relationships within the Batfamily. Meaning he has to be with Barabara Gordon. Starfire can never be a part of the Batfamily in their eyes, so she can't be with Dick.

But Garfield and Raven? They have no other ties but the Titans, so here is where they remain, forever together, as their saying goes. Why bother trying to do anything else with them when it's very clear that it's the only romance the fans will ever accept? I mean you could try bringing Terra back as NOT completely evil, but why? It's like resurrecting Gwen Stacey to be with Peter again, it's the most boring choice you could make and everyone has moved on to either the Red Head or Sexy Cat Thief. There are a few who like the Blonde Fighter Ace with the power of the Sun at her fingertips, but I digress. Gushing over Carol Danvers is for another post and we're getting off-topic.

The point is, you don't break up Sue and Reed Richards to stick Sue with Namor, and Beast Boy and Raven are in a far healthier relationship than that marriage will ever be. Why ruin a good thing for something that was never meant to last in either the comics or the cartoon? Raven has been with Garfield longer than Terra EVER was, especially in this new continuity which, thanks to some more events, is basically the old continuity kinda sorta not really. There's no practical reason to break them up at this point when they've proven their longevity.

Reflection

I have to admit, I was cynical for a good portion of this stuff. I was barely paying attention to "The New 52" so a lot of the stuff I pointed out in it went unnoticed. Look it was a bad reboot, you can't completely blame me. But looking back on it all, it was clear that more and more people in the industry saw the same thing fans did. It took time for them to figure it out, plus one misstep with a Kid Flash variant that made no sense and was over with that run, but there it is. Plain to see for everyone, the heart and soul of the Titans is the fact they are family, they love each other and that love is best exemplified by Beast Boy and Raven. So much so it's the cornerstone of the upcoming Titans comic... where they've been living together for a good while now!

They're clearly banging... there's no way they aren't. I'm not sure if he's turning into a horse for it, but they're doing it. There's no room for denial here!

The creative team for the series has even stated the run revolves around this romance, and that there are big plans involving it. Excited to explore their dynamic, calling their relationship the core of the Titans as a team and a book.

It's self-evident now, this is the romance that defines this series. This is a ship reaching Evergreen Tier, on the same scale as Gambit and Rogue or Lois and Clark. You can ship Raven and Beast Boy with anyone else all you want, but it doesn't change what DC Comics has decided is the default... and this is it.

None of this is to gloat though, this hasn't been an attempt to declare victory, although it's hard not to. This is the win, but that's not nearly as important as everything else. This is the culmination of a lot of things, both as a fan and personally. It was through Beast Boy and Raven that I forged friendships with people I wouldn't trade for anything, even if they weren't canon. I've come to know so many wonderful amazing people. People who have been there for me in my bad times and laughed with me in the good, who have helped me grow immensely. And it was because of these two that I found them.

So seeing this, all of this, and taking it into account... really looking at it, it's more than the memory of a goth girl and a class clown with superpowers. It's a huge chunk of my life that, isn't just validated but... immensely emotionally impactful. I would not be the person I am today without BBRae, that's true regardless of how canon it is.

It's true what Beast Boy said, sometimes you can get everything you want. But I'm not talking about a ship, I'm talking about a family of friends, who are irreplaceable in your life. And in so many ways, that's what the Titans have always been, a family of true friends, in both the best and worst ways, but there's no denying that the best of that is Beast Boy and Raven. The truest expression of what the Titans mean to me and so many others. I won so much more than a ship, I won people who care. And that's worth more than anything in my eyes.

So thank you, Beast Boy and Raven, thank you for everything. I look forward to your future together. An evergreen horizon evermore. It was a long road, it was bumpy, it was heartbreaking at times, and even more than a little fraught with drama, but it was an amazing ride. And I can't wait to see what's around the corner next.

#beast boy #Raven #bbrae #garfield logan #rachel roth #DC Comics #Teen Titans #Shipping #Retrospective #It goes without saying that none of the fanart in this post is from me

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ahamkara-apologist · 1 year ago

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you have GOT to post guardian pics I'm begging you. feed us (me?) information about your characters. I must know. it is imperative

TYSM FOR ENABLING ME ANON BC THEY ARE MY BLORBOS AND IM VIBRATING ABOUT THEM. buckle the fuck up because this is gonna be a long fucking post

Okay first up is Aeris Sharphawk- aro/ace, he/him. he's my main character, my hunter, and the Young Wolf of my timeline.

He’s half-Awoken, half-Human (I’ll get to that in a moment, he’s actually an older oc of mine that I ported over from Bloodborne whose bastard nature needed a D2 equivalent), and the older half-brother to my solar titan, Marcelline Attenbough- one of the few little remnants from their past life that they were able to discover in a diary on Marcie’s corpse when they were rezzed together (which occurred because their ghosts are twins). He’s autistic, lawful neutral, and vastly prefers using Darkness over Light because of sensory issues; his ghost (Hoarfrost, previously Mercury) mods his helmets to drastically reduce noise, but he can’t help how Arc tingles, Solar burns, and Void numbs. Tends to spend most of his battles either hyperfocused or dissociated to deal with it. As for the lawful neutral title, that’s because he doesn’t fight for the Vanguard because of a loyalty to humanity, but exclusively for the survival of the Last City and everyone in it. This extended to House Light and the Cabal under Caital instantaneously, and would do so to Eramis if she so chose, because he really just doesn’t take most things personally. He's sometimes derogatorily called 'the Vanguard's Hound' because of this.

He’s skilled with a bow, and is cursed with a resting haunted stare that can rival even the fiercest bird of prey- hence his title, given to him because his last name wasn’t present in the little diary that Marcie had when they were rezzed. Personality wise, he’s quiet, stoic, extremely efficient at what he does, fiercely protective of those he loves, and deeply curious about the unknown- though if you don’t know him, you’d never be able to guess it, because he struggles deeply with facial expressions and tone, giving him the appearance that he’s ruthlessly cold and unfeeling (pretty much the Guardian we see in game). Because of this, he tends to do much better with Eliksni than most of humanity- bar the Awoken, though Mara makes him deeply uncomfortable- and is thus far more comfortable with them. He’s the moon to Marcie’s sun, and helps keep her in check, for despite her cheery personality, she has a very strong sense of justice and a penchant for impulsive, temperamental behavior when she thinks that justice has been wronged. This goes both ways, however, as Aeris is the very definition of ‘curiosity killed the cat’; he voluntarily gets bit by venomous snakes at venom labs to see how immunity/allergies develops over time, and has a fascination with the Vex that got him a ‘needs watching’ report after he nearly jumped into a pool of radiolaria to see what would happen. The older-brother affection isn’t related to just Marcie, though; he’s unofficially adopted Eido as his younger sister (or kid? Because uhhh that curiosity of his has extended to fucking Misraaks once or twice), and is a mentor figure of sorts to Crow, though he’s unaware that Crow idolizes him; he only hunted Uldren down to keep Marcie out of trouble, as he didn’t like Cayde and was neutral on Uldren, so seeing Crow for the first time didn’t bother him at all. Tutored on occasion by Osiris, and thus has a very deep respect for him.

People other than Marcie that he likes: Zavala, Ikora, Osiris, Eido, Misraaks, Eris, and Variks, Petrichor-12 (oc), Viper-4 (oc, lightless guardian), Crow

People he dislikes: Cayde, the Spider, Clovis Bray, Savathun, Mara Sov, Petra Venj (can’t read her very well), anyone who is loud or insistent or confusing

Primary class (Dark): Stasis

Primary class (Light): Arcstrider

Motifs: Dark, cool blue/silver, viper and hawk symbolism

Likes: Learning about things, working with the Eliksni, being good at being a hunter, bows/glaives/swords, playing with Strand, Gambit (surprisingly)

Dislikes: Crucible, loud noises, fusion rifles, snipers because of the kick (despite being very good with them), shotguns, fans and most other guardians

Fun fact: When Hoarfrost and Solaris found them, it was in a frigid part of old Russia, with Aeris holding Marcie close to his chest with his back to the door- they had frozen to death while trying to keep each other warm, and were under a thick layer of permafrost. When they were risen, they found out their names, their relationship to each other, and the fact that their father was a cheating bastard who produced Aeris after screwing an Awoken woman for the novelty of it because Marcie had a little diary in her front pocket, which had been somewhat preserved by the cold. Both their ghosts theorize that the reason why Aeris is so drawn to Stasis and Marcie to Solar is because of how they died, though neither guardian will say anything about it. He can also speak near-fluent Eliksni.

Then there’s Marcie, younger half-sister to Aeris and the sun to his moon; she/her, Solar Titan, lesbian, lawful good. Where he is quiet and introverted, she is loud and bombastic, and where he likes to dart in and strike down his enemies from afar, she likes to punch. I just recently made her in Destiny because the character creation doesn't really match how I see her, hence why she's got Arc on here

(closer to her actual face minus the blue eyes; this is a very old bloodborne pic)

Unlike her half-brother, Marcie is a full human, and- according to the diary she rezzed with- was objectively her father's favorite, though the feeling was not mutual, and their relationship was strained by her taking so kindly to the bastard son he tried to send away. Compared to Aeris, she's bright, bubbly, and outgoing, but has a fierce temper, and is quick to snap if something has pushed her too far-think a jack russel's terrier of a human being. Her ghost's name is Solaris (previously Quicksilver), and she prefers the Light and Solar by far. Her preferred method of combat is to hit first, ask questions later, which can be incredibly effective or incredibly dangerous depending on who's on the opposite end of her wrath. Her and Aeris share many quests together, with me typically attributing all the seasons that I didn’t play to Marcie, given that I didn’t make a Destiny character for her for the longest time.

She was best friends with Cayde, and was so devastated by his death that Aeris had to go instead, as she would have killed anything and everything in vengeance without a second thought. She did, however, kill Riven- something that Aeris himself was somewhat reluctant to do,given his fascination with the Ahamkara. She's stubborn as a mule, surprisingly strong despite her small stature (well, small-ish), and is an absolute massive lesbian, with her type specifically being 'big strong ladies who can kill me'- which was primarily why she wasn't allowed to fight Eramis, or other big hotties, as she has a pretty hardcore crush on her. (The second reason was that she would have stood and bickered with Eramis about the ethics of what she was doing until either one or the other yielded). Instead, she was assigned to work with Misraaks to evacuate House Light refugees, which ended up being a fortuitous partnership with the coming of the Endless Night. Now, her primary work for the Vanguard consists of aiding Eliksni refugees, along with general alien-human politics and tackling xenophobia, as well as working on being an apprentice Splicer. She is very, VERY passionate about equal rights and will drag you to the Crucible if you fight her- and good fucking luck winning against her, because she fucking loves the Crucible and will beat your ass everytime. She’s somewhat of a local celebrity in that reguard

Her deep fondness for her brother comes primarily from the fact that he is one of the few people to take her seriously without either asking her to calm down or come off as patronizing- he's also a well of stability to her excitable moods, the voice of reason to her hyperempathy. While he keeps her from biting off more than she can chew, she acts as his translator + guide, yanking him back onto the path of sanity if he starts to wander into the Deep, and helping him with dysfunction things that Hoarfrost can’t do. She also enjoys working through the data he collects, even if she has no desire to go searching for it herself, so they make a good pair- even if, like most siblings, they will argue over every little thing and sometimes drive each other up the walls with their stubbornness.

I've already mentioned that she got along with Cayde, but her other friends at the tower are Shaxx, Drifter, Saint-14, and Ada-1. Misraaks is her mentor, as well as one of the few people who can talk her down from stupid shit, with uh…questionable results. And while she couldn't stand the sight of Crow when Aeris dragged him back, she managed to befriend him reguardless, mostly because he was so different from the Uldren she remembered that she couldn’t help but accept him for who he was. She often went out drinking with him and Amanda, and was devastated when she died.

People she likes: Cayde, Shaxx, Drifter, Saint-14, Ada-1, Misraaks, Crow, Amanda (rip), Caiatl

People she dislikes: Uldren Sov, The Osmium Siblings, The Spider, Lakshmi-2, anyone against the Eliksni or people who are rude to Aeris, Calus

Likes: Crucible, Gambit, fucking around with weapons in new and creative ways, going out to drink with friends, playfully flirting, helping with construction work around the Eliksni District, playing around with the Light, moths and other fuzzy creatures

Primary Class (Light): Solar

Primary Class (Dark): Strand

Dislikes: Fighting Eliksni, any exploding enemies that she can’t punch, bows because Aeris will always be better than her at using them, the fact that Aeris fucked Misraaks at one point for science, being alone, her inability to score a girl who isn’t a war criminal

Motif: crimson and gold, bears or lion with eagle wings

Fun fact: Her grasp on Eliksni is actually more fluent than Aeris, and she spends a good deal of her time in the Tower socializing with people while he’s off doing…whatever.

Okay, now onto Petrichor-12, who decided to nope out of being a Guardian so I deleted their slot to make Marcie before I really did anything to dazzle them up

Petrichor-12 is a now-retired guardian that actually came from a dream I had before I even played Destiny. They/them or he/him, neutral good, Void titan, ghost is seldom-speaking and called Whisper. Neutral good. I attribute them with D1 content, so they’re the guardian that killed Crota and Oryx, though Marcie and Aeris were also there to help.

Petrichor is an older, somewhat quiet, melancholy do-gooder that's been haunted by guilt ever since they found out the memories of who they were via the Deep Stone Crypt- a bodyguard for Clovis Bray that was turned to a path of anger, abuse, and violence after agreeing to be tested on for power, and got corrupted by the Darkness. This, paired with being rezzed in the Dark Ages, means that they have a lot of trauma surrounding violence, power, and the dilemma of being made to kill when all you want to do is save people. As such, Eramis's predicament troubles them greatly, and while it was them who gunned her down in conjunction with Aeris, they often found themselves returning to her frozen body on Europa to talk to her (presumed corpse) about Darkness corruption in a sort of venting monologue-advice system, which worked both as a way of fending off their troubles as well as keep an eye on her state- though now that she’s defrosted they’ve vowed never come near her again out of embarrassment.

While retired, they are a stalwart defender of anyone who needs it and a keeper of peace, driven partially by a genuine desire to do good and a need to prove themselves not the person that they used to be. No longer able to mingle with other guardians or humanity at large due to PTSD from what they learned, they live in the Botza district as an ambassador between the Eliksni and humanity, they like to knit + quilt in their free time, teaching whichever hatchlings will listen and getting tutored on weaving by old Wolves in return. They're also 6'3", so…lorge. Zavala and Misraaks are the two people they talk to the most outside of the Eliksni refugees, and they drop by to say hi to Eva and knit with her whenever they have the chance. The war with the Witness is threatning to bring them out of retirement, something that they are deeply unhappy with.

People he likes: Namrask, Misraaks, Saladin, Zavala, Ikora, Osiris (recently), Marcie and Aeris, Saint-14, Eris (complicated)

People they dislike: Themselves, Osiris (formerly), Eramis (reminds them of themselves), Ghaul, Oryx, Xivu Arath, Clovis Bray, anyone who goads them to fight, Elsie and Ana Bray by association, Rasputin

Motif: gold and sapphire blue, used to have a gryphon motif but stopped wearing it because they don’t want to be recognized as the Kingkiller

Likes: Knitting, sewing, weaving, gardening, really anything restorative they can do with their free hands that forces their mind not to wander

Class (Light): Void, sometimes Arc

Class (Dark): no.

Dislikes: War, fighting, being a guardian, everything that has to do with what they used to be, anything Braytech sciences, the cumulative trauma from the Dark Ages and seeing recordings of who they used to be in the Deep Stone Crypt, their own fear of themselves

Fun fact: Petrichor-12 can speak Eliksni fluently, having modulated their voice and hearing to be able to incorporate the subsonic clicks and chirps in their speech, and is now working on learning Ulurant despite not at all liking the Cabal empire

Ash: Another dream character of mine, and my newest Guardian (so she’s somewhat of a wip). She/her, solar + void warlock, chaotic neutral to lawful evil depending on her mood. Pansexual but bitchless. Rezzed in the tail end of the Dark Ages, just long enough for her to see how horrible everything was but not long enough to see the true extent of it. Scholar of the Light, and most recently a scholar of the Dark as well.

Ashe is a warlock with an awful temper, a moral code that changes on a whim, and a ravenous appetite for knowledge that comes at the cost of everyone else, including herself. Her ghost (an anxious and caring little lass) is called Nutmeg, and is pretty much the only indicator that she has a soft spot. Ashe dedicated herself to learning how to get closer to the Light, but unlike the more conventional meditations that people usually do to, she was inspired by ancient Greek priestesses and decided for a more unconventional route- by doing hard drugs. By getting either extremely drunk or very high, she claims that she overcomes the need for meditation (or, rather, bypasses it entirely because she’s too impatient for it) and gains a deeper connection with her powers, as she’s connecting with it instinctually rather than choosing to seek it out. Nutmeg and many others are not as convinced about this method, but they also can’t deny that it doesn’t have its perks, as Ash does have a very powerful connection to her light- mainly through exploding things, or setting everything around her on fire. It’s how she used to survive the Warlords she’d steal from in the Dark Ages, and she’s known specifically for her ability to mimic a nova bomb, but with solar power, which is strong particularly for how unexpected it is.

However, being constantly hungover and harbouring no friends doesn’t exactly have its benefits, and as a result Ashe is almost always grumpy, abrasive, quick to anger, quick to turn to cruel jibes and mocking when being defensive (which is often), and is generally awful to be around. She has no friends other than Nutmeg (whose bond has become strained as of late, since Ashe is now turning to substance abuse for coping with the impending threat of the Witness rather than simply using it for her studies), her apartment is an uncleaned shithole she only uses for crashing in when she’s particularly out of it, and she's constantly in a state of passive-aggressive warfare with Osiris, as she and him used to occasionally cross paths and share research; they might have had a student-teacher dynamic if they didn’t grate so abrasively, and if Ashe wasn’t so much of a lone wolf. He’s tried to whip her into shape a couple of times, but to no avail- they just devolved into shouting matches. Pretty much the only people she listens to are the Drifter and Nutmeg, but whether or not she’ll actually take their advice is a toss-up.

Despite this, she will overall always choose to do what's right and will begrudgingly trudge along with people in random strikes to ensure that important missions get done, as she fears failure more than she does judgment. And yet, to an extent she also fears judgment, for part of the reason why she’s so cruel is to keep people at arm’s length, so as to prevent them from learning her weaknesses- not even her constant complaining about being bitchless will cover up that the core reason why she makes no effort to clean herself up and be nicer is because she fears vulnerability. She’s also brilliant with the Light and cunningly adept with the Dark, which is why the Vanguard continues to ask for her help and expertise.

People she likes: the Drifter, Hawthorne, Nutmeg, Eido, Toland, Shaxx to most everybody’s surprise

People she dislikes: Pretty much the whole Vanguard and 90% of other guardians, Saladin, the Iron Lords, Osiris, Misraaks,

Primary class (Dark): Stasis, wants to learn Strand but has a hard time letting go

Primary class (Light): Solar, Void

Likes: Learning nuances of the Light that others don’t go into detail to, connecting with the Light, growing more powerful and shaping it into new, experimental Supers that would make Zavala have a heart attack if he saw them in action, taking leadership in Strikes and prodding around New Lights to teach them about what it is to be a Guardian (but gently), killing assholes to put them in their place, spooking people

Dislikes: Being told what to do, being reminded that she’s a mess, being reminded that she’s afraid and that her behavior is starting to turn self-detrimental, being looked down on by other Guardians, the restrictive nature of Vanguard protocol that keeps her from playing around with her experimental supers, guardians who have no respect or care about mortal lives, getting kicked from bars for fighting said guardians with no respect or care for mortal lives, being reminded that she has a soft side and cares so much for other people that it scares her

Colours/theme: black, flame-gold, and green

Fun fact: Likes the Hive aesthetic, and knows their tongue just for the hell of it. Has quite a bit of fun tormenting and taunting Hive Lightbearers, loves digging around the Osmium Siblings. Despite this, she’s not passionate about the Hive, and doesn’t care one bit if they’re wiped out or not. She also pretty much never takes off the Stag helm, as dropping a rift on death has saved her ass more than once, and tends to sleep in her robes. It’s a miracle that she doesn’t stink something awful, but smells perpetually like smoke instead.

and last but not least: Viper-4, an ex-guardian who I have almost nothing on because he tends to be a side character: he/him, trans exo, primarily black chassis with red markings, not yet settled on alignment. A friend of Aeris, he's an ex-Hunter who is now the primary caretaker for a variety of venomous snakes whose species have survived the Collapse. He collects their venom to try to recreate old Golden-Age medicines and antivenom- which he does with Aeris's help- and had his forearms modded with soft silicone so that the snakes don't hurt him if they bite him. Generally a friendly and chill guy, but has a melancholy air as most Ghostless do, and wants to learn Strand so that he has some modicum of control over the elements again, as his lack of feeling the Light was the hardest part about his Ghost's death. Much like Brya and Sagira, his ghost sacrificed her to save him, but he blames himself for her death and pretty much entirely refuses to talk about it. Used to be quite adept with Void. I note that he's trans here because it carried over into his exo body, as he was raised with synthetic top surgery scars that were then worked into beautiful engravings of flowers, swords, and snakes by Viper-1

#long post #destiny 2 #my ocs #my guardians #oc: aeris sharphawk #oc: marcelline attenbough #oc: petrichor-12 #oc: ash #oc: viper-4 #maybe i should have used a readmore but #im paranoid about accidentally deleting this blog and having it be lost #sjdhfg

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tlatia-the-radiant · 7 months ago

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EZTLI - WRATH OF THE MACHINE

The sky was on fire.

"Come on! Move like you've got a purpose!"

Infantry ducked into trenches and acquired targets as soon as they stepped out of their drop pods. Weapons teams set up their guns at the first possible opportunity, lying in the dirt, trusting their visors to keep the rain off their scopes. Soldiers of the Planetary Defense Force whispered amongst themselves.

"His Angels. They've come!"

Artillery threw up plumes of dirt as tank-hunters took up residence inside of rockcrete bunkers. Orange armour and blue jaguar-cowls flooded through the trenches, moving to predetermined positions like clockwork. Astartes armed with longer-range rifles began taking what shots they could at the approaching horde. Close-range assault teams began moving towards likely points of cover, hiding in ambush.

Warhorns. Warhorns shook the air as the first missile struck, detonating the forward command bunker of Corinth-Hive's PDF force. Panic began to spread through their ranks.

"All Sentinel forces, this is Warden. Local PDF forces just lost their command structure. All officers are to take command of their local forces and report all soldiers now under their command to Warden in five mikes. Warden out."

In total, there were five God-Machines marching on Corinth Hive. Two were mighty Warlord Titans, two were smaller Warhound Titans, and one was a mighty Warmonger-class Titan, all bearing the colours of the Legio Audax. On any battlefield, such a force was a fearsome threat--entire Chapters of Space Marines had been vapourised by smaller foes before--and yet not a single member of the Dawn Legion felt even a mote of fear or hesitance.

A great tear carried across the airwaves as reality screamed; a hole was torn in the barrier between real and empyrean for just a moment before a vessel's prow emerged, deep-blue and shining.

Hovering over the spires of Corinth-Hive, the Dawnbringer sat like a vengeful god of hope, clothed in tiger-orange and ultramarine, highlighted with gold, cerulean energy crackling as twenty plasma macrocannons and six venerable Godsbane lances modified with Aeldari Pulsar technology charged and found their targets.

On the bridge, the Forgemaster nodded to the ghostly outline of a woman standing on the holotable, assembled from light and code. The ghost nodded back.

Eztli raised her axe towards the ceiling.

"The Machine Spirits know the position of the foe," they announced. "Let the batteries sing of fire and light!"

Speakers crackled to life.

"Enemies of Humanity, Titans of the Legio Audax, hear and heed my words. I know of your allegiances. I know that fear is a foreign concept to those like you. Allow me to remind you what it is like to be small."

Eztli's emotional cores returned satisfaction as Fleetmaster Celaya nodded.

"Open fire. Full broadside, one volley."

The Hecutor-pattern macrocannons of the Dawnbringer alone could rip apart a Sword-class frigate twice over in a single volley. No Titan, not even the undying Imperator-class, could withstand a volley like that. That was why the advancing Titans paused. That was why they began to reconsider their options. Perhaps flight would be preferable.

The Princeps of the Irae Immortalis only knew rage, and yet as he watched five bursts of plasma that could shatter the shield of a voidship and two beams of white-hot energy close in, all he knew was cold, clawing fear.

Luckily for him, the ice in his veins quickly turned to scalding steam as the lance-beams vaporised the cockpit.

#chronicles of the lost legion #forgemaster eztli #ooc: been doing battletech for a good while now. had this sitting in my drafts. figured i better tell people im not dead lol

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thxnews · 10 months ago

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UK Prime Minister Launches Nuclear Sector Boost

In an era where the buzz of innovation meets the imperative of security, the UK stands at a pivotal juncture. Today, the Prime Minister is set to declare a 'national endeavour' to secure the future of the UK's defence and civil nuclear industry. This initiative is not just about safeguarding our national security but also about fuelling our energy future and driving economic prosperity.

Investment in Our Nuclear Future

The government's commitment to invest more than £200 million over the next decade to bolster the nuclear industry in Barrow is a testament to the strategic importance of this sector. With the Defence Secretary poised to unveil the Defence Nuclear Enterprise Command Paper, we're looking at a comprehensive blueprint for sustaining and modernising the UK's nuclear deterrent. The Backbone of UK's Security and Energy The importance of nuclear technology to the UK's energy security and national defence cannot be overstated. As the industry eyes a 50% increase in the need for highly skilled workers over the next decade, the Prime Minister's announcement signals a watershed moment. It's a clarion call to train a new generation of British talent in a sector that is as demanding as it is rewarding. A Coalition of Titans The government's partnership with industry giants such as BAE Systems, Rolls-Royce, EDF, and Babcock underscores the collaborative spirit driving this endeavour. With a combined investment of at least £763 million by 2030, the initiative promises to create over 8,000 career opportunities, filling the sector's need for 40,000 new jobs by the end of the decade. Barrow: The Cradle of Nuclear Excellence Barrow-in-Furness's role as the home of the UK's Astute-class nuclear submarines places it at the heart of the nation's defence nuclear ambitions. The Prime Minister's announcement of the Barrow Transformation Fund, with a pledge of £20 million immediately and a further £20 million annually over the next decade, aims to make Barrow an even more attractive hub for nuclear professionals. The Command Paper: A Strategic Vision The Defence Nuclear Enterprise Command Paper, set to be published by Defence Secretary Grant Shapps, will outline the full scope of the UK's national nuclear endeavour. This document will detail the strategies to maintain our independent nuclear deterrent, highlighting the significance of new Dreadnought Class submarines and the AUKUS agreement in our long-term security plans. Industry Leaders Rally Behind the National Endeavour Comments from industry leaders such as Charles Woodburn of BAE Systems and David Lockwood of Babcock International reinforce the importance of this initiative. Their commitment reflects the sector's readiness to tackle the challenges ahead and seize the opportunities presented by this national endeavour.

The Prime Minister's Vision

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak's vision for the UK's nuclear future is clear: to safeguard the nation's security, ensure energy security, and drive economic growth. Today's announcement is more than an investment in the nuclear industry; it's a pledge to the next generation of nuclear professionals and a commitment to the UK's long-term prosperity. A Call to Action As we stand on the cusp of a new era in the UK's nuclear industry, the Prime Minister's national endeavour represents a bold step forward. It's a call to action for the British workforce, an invitation to be part of something monumental. With the government and industry moving in lockstep, the future of the UK's nuclear sector has never looked brighter.

Engaging the Next Generation

The journey ahead is both challenging and exciting. As the UK embarks on this national endeavour, it calls upon its citizens, especially the young and aspiring professionals, to join in building a secure, prosperous, and energy-independent future. Let us engage in this collective mission with the vigour and commitment it deserves, for our today and our tomorrow hinge on the decisions we make now. Sources: THX News, Prime Minister's Office, 10 Downing Street & The Rt Hon Rishi Sunak MP. Read the full article

#Barrownuclearfuture #defencenuclearenterprise #defencesecurityinvestment #nationalnuclearendeavour #nuclearindustrygrowth #nuclearsectorjobs #nuclearskillstraining #nuclearworkforceexpansion #UKenergysecurity #UKnuclearindustryinvestment

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caffeinekarlii · 1 year ago

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the primal desire to wrestle the machine spirit of an imperator-class titan into submission, forcing it from a restless and carnal beast into a whimpering little creature that follows my command. to deprive it of the sensation it so desperately desires. the crush of weak flesh beneath it. the transformation of thousands into burning husks of atomized carbon within an instant. all mine, all mine to bask in the glowing glory and power of.

what a pathetic thing. a god engine of humanity's might, the physical avatar of the Machine God itself, a melted and worthless entity begging for a taste of it's power.

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yukiwrites · 1 year ago

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Better off Not Knowing

Thanks for the support and bottomless patience as usual, @mourningstorms! I hope you like it~

Summary: Kagero had trained hard to be recognized by her liege, Ryoma, though the day he looked at her in the eye for the first time in years, she didn't think she would actually have to serve him in that way...

Commission info HERE and HERE!

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Kagemitsu and Kagero.

Siblings born into a loving, deeply loyal family of ninjas.

Kagemitsu, as the first born, was to inherit the name of the family and prove its loyalty by offering his services to the hoshidan crown. However, as if cursed by fate, his health had never been his strongest suit. Some days, it was even difficult for him to walk out of the bed, let alone pick up a kunai and train like a proper ninja.

The family, pressured into displaying fealty, was on the verge of collapse.

That was until the youngest child, Kagero, rose up to the task. She was barely old enough to discern right from wrong, but out of a desperate attempt to help her beloved big brother and prove that her family was good, she put herself out there for training.

Day and night, she trained. Under harsh sunlight and fierce rainstorms, she trained. With her small body, but titanic convictions, she pushed herself to the brink — until all of her efforts were acknowledged.

She was to be presented to King Sumeragi’s firstborn, High Prince Ryoma, so as to serve as his personal retainer in the future. Saizo V, one of Kagero’s playmates as well as the heir to the clan that ruled their secluded hamlet, had already been introduced to their lord from an even younger age, and had already been assigned a few duties despite his young age.

Kagero could barely remember how to walk the day she was sent to Shirasagi. Her palms were sweaty and her breathing was uneven.

She could barely look up to the boy that carried himself so arrogantly yet held poise only conceived by royalty. Blushing, she managed to meet his eyes amidst her inner turmoil and stuttered a few words out.

“I-I am called Kagero, my Lord,” she bowed deeply, almost too deeply in fact. She almost prostrated herself on the ground in a dogeza. “I will give it m-my all to serve you forever.”

“Hm,” the young boy crossed his arms, seizing up the little, stuttering girl with his eyes before turning on his heel to leave. “Work hard,” he said simply, waving behind his back as he left with Saizo at his beck and call.

Kagero lifted her head in amazement, her eyes sparkling with joy. “I will!” she said to no one in particular — or rather, to herself — and made her way back to the village to complete her training.

Since Saizo had already been assigned to Ryoma, there was no need for them to serve at the same time. It was imperative that Kagero finished her training to be by the prince’s side once they were of age so he was always accompanied by a shadow no matter where he went.

For a few years more she trained, this time not just for her family or for her brother, but for her lord. Remembering his parting words, Kagero gave everything she had into training, especially the parts that weren’t particularly enjoyable, such as the, well, intimate lessons.

Barely after her first blood, Kagero was inducted at the intimate lessons class. She, Saizo, Kaze and all other ninjas of similar age were part of them, in more ways than one. There were times, after an especially harsh lesson, that Kagero ran into her room and only came out after a full day had passed. She couldn’t even tell Kagemitsu what had happened, but he could tell by the tear stains on her face that it hadn’t been anything enjoyable.

Kaze and Saizo felt the same way, but their lessons took a lesser toll on their bodies than it did on Kagero’s.

Still, Kagero pressed on, remembering her young lord’s words. She would work hard and serve him with everything she had, even if that meant putting all those lessons into practice.

Remembering her instructor’s parting words, Kagero finally returned to Ryoma’s side after half a decade of training.

The moment she met a now grown-up Ryoma, Kagero’s heart fluttered with joy. She had finally accomplished what she wanted. She was going to serve him by his side and remain there for as long as she drew breath. For Kagemitsu, for her family, for Hoshido, but, most of all, for Ryoma.

Her eyes sparkled the same way they did back then, but this time accompanied by her mature features and her straight-faced expression.

Yet, the moment Ryoma’s and Kagero’s eyes met, he averted his gaze almost immediately, covering his face with the back of his hand.

“...?”

Odd, Kagero thought, but that still wasn’t enough to damp the fire of servitude in her heart. A servant wasn’t supposed to meet the eyes of her lord, anyway.

Thus, she started her new path as a retainer to the High Prince of Hoshido, heir to the throne after Sumeragi’s death.

There was much for him to do, and many places for him to go as the heir. He had to train, study, attend meetings with Queen Mikoto and the ministers, travel the land to inspect the fiefs as well as the borders… He was a busy young man.

Still, Kagero couldn’t help but feel that it was strange.

They were swamped with work, and yet, she was barely doing anything. She saw Saizo running up and down with assignments while she was tasked to guard the door outside; she saw him going in and out of Ryoma’s room no matter how late or how early it was, while she was only allowed to see him after he went into the dining hall; there was even a time Kagero managed to steal a glance inside the study during history class only to have Ryoma avert his eyes and focus on whatever it was that he was writing, despite the teacher’s warnings about something or the other.

It was odd.

Frowning, Kagero went to consult Saizo about it, but not much came out of it.

“Of course, it’s because of my devotion,” he said proudly, puffing his chest up, wearing a smug face under his mask. “Serve him well and you’ll be assigned more work in due time.”

“So I’m not serving him well now…?” She mumbled to herself after Saizo had left, looking up at the moon for answers.

The next day, she went to meet her friend Orochi during the day — something that brought her even more frustration. She had to be by her Lord’s side just as Orochi was by Queen Mikoto’s, but again Saizo was the one assigned to stay beside Ryoma during the day. Kagero could barely look at Ryoma from the shadows during the night as she guarded his door, so how could she serve him well at that rate?

Sighing in vexation, Kagero spoke her heart out to her friend, who giggled and slapped her knee as if she had heard the most amusing of tales.

“I do not understand why you laugh,” Kagero narrowed her eyes at her giggly friend.

“Heeheehee! But it’s so funny!” Orochi dried a tear from her eye with one hand, “and don’t you give me the death glare! You should show that face to Lord Ryoma, then maybe he'll stop avoiding you because of how beautiful you are!”

Kagero’s hand flinched under the teacup. “What? That can’t be it.”

“Why not? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You’re not a little girl anymore,” Orochi traced her index through Kagero’s exposed shoulder, lowering it to the middle of her cleavage. “And Lord Ryoma’s at that age. I bet he never saw anyone as beautiful as you, not with all those ugly court ladies hanging around the palace all day.”

“You’re the beautiful one, Orochi. Your smile is so warm and your voice soothes all my worries,” Kagero said sincerely, looking at her reflection on the tea.

“A-hem,” Orochi blushed slightly, fanning herself. “Compliments won’t get you anywhere, you know. I said what I said and I know I’m right! I can even divine it for you if you want.”

“No. It’s okay,” Kagero nodded, fidgeting with the cup for a while longer before getting up. “Thank you for the talk, Orochi, but I’ll be going now.”

“Aww, so soon? But Lady Mikoto won’t be done with the meeting for another hour or so, so I’ll be bored here by myself.”

Ryoma was also at that meeting, but the one inside, hiding in the shadows of the ceiling, was Saizo, not her. She clenched her hands and went for the door. “Still. Thank you again.”

“Boo,” Orochi pouted, watching her friend leave. “I would’ve teased her more, but I can see that’s a sore topic for her, so I’ll refrain from talking about it again. What a good friend I am!” She patted her own chest, talking in a louder voice so Kagero could hear it from the corridor.

Nevertheless, Kagero left with a more troubled heart than when she had come.

She had been training so hard for the opportunity to show her valor as a person, as a ninja. She had so many skills under her hat — just as many as Saizo, for that matter.

And yet, if what Orochi said was true, what Ryoma expected of her was nothing more than… serving him as a woman.

Of course, she should be happy to be at least of service to her lord, but she still couldn’t help but feel miffed about it all. That was one of the skills she had under her hat, indeed it was, but still…

“Hahh…” She sighed, shaking her head. “I can’t think properly like this.”

Deciding it would be a waste of time to dwell on it without knowing for sure, Kagero went to the training grounds. Breaking a good sweat would clear her head and help her remember the reason why she was there in the first place.

She was there to serve, nothing more, nothing less. It did not matter in which way, as long as she was doing what she was trained to do.

She wanted to be of use to her lord, so she would do so, no matter in which shape or form. Thinking about it even further, it was childish to compete for her Lord’s attention with Saizo in the first place.

Saizo had been there for years, while she had served for a few months at most.

There was no need to rush. She could take it slow.

There was time to show Ryoma how useful she could be.

With a clearer head, Kagero exited the arena, surprised to realize that the moon was already so high up in the sky.

Running frantically, she quickly bathed herself so her body odor wouldn’t compromise her position during the night shift and walked at hurried steps towards the royal wing.

Just as she stepped on the outer corridor leading to Ryoma’s room, there was a sudden gust of wind. Startled, Kagero closed her eyes for a second as she held her hair from flowing in front of her face.

At that precise moment, Ryoma stepped on the opposite side of the corridor, his eyes wide and his mouth agape, as if in a trance.

Once the wind stopped blowing, Kagero finally met her Lord’s gaze.

At that moment, her heart fluttered. It had been such a long time since their eyes had met properly that she couldn’t help but stare for a second or two.

Ryoma’s breathing started becoming uneven as his neck and the exposed chest under his open hakama turned bright red. He gave one step towards her and Kagero felt it.

She knew what was coming.

For a split second, she almost rolled her eyes. She almost sighed in defeat.

But Ryoma had been even faster; he covered the distance between them with large and decisive steps.

The hand that wrapped itself around Kagero’s waist was so hot it almost made her melt. Once their bodies collided, there was a current spreading through their veins as if it had been waiting for that moment.

And once their lips touched, all sounds disappeared. They could only hear each other’s breathing and frantic heartbeat.

Ryoma roughly, clumsily, dug his tongue into Kagero’s lips, which she gracefully received, clashing it with hers to deepen the kiss. Finding her taste sweet, Ryoma pulled her closer to him, bending himself on top of her slender, curvy and soft body.

As per her lessons, Kagero let out a strangled moan, wrapping her shaky arms around Ryoma’s neck as a sign of acceptance and submission.

Wasting no time at all, Ryoma, without even parting his lips from Kagero’s, tumbled towards his room, too entranced into her taste to bother to look around. His body knew the way.

Breathing heavily, Ryoma only let go of Kagero’s lips long enough to do away with his clothes, otherwise he barely gave her time to breathe.

Feeling his eagerness, Kagero replied in kind, looking up at him with entranced eyes and moaning at the precise moments as their bodies mingled under his rough, inexperienced hands. She moved her body in a way that would help the intercourse more pleasurable while still making it look like it was all because of Ryoma’s dexterity.

She shed a single tear once they truly united, which Ryoma dazedly licked out of her cheek as he moved, drunk in the stupor of being with her. More than once, more than twice, more than four times they did it throughout the night.

Each time, Ryoma’s clumsiness got replaced by dexterity, until, by dawn, he felt like an experienced instructor, one that Kagero had had the displeasure of working under for many years.

Regardless of how he performed, Kagero was satisfied with her own performance. She bemoaned on the precise moments, and pushed him away demurely at other times, intent on enticing him to want more.

Once she saw Ryoma open his eyes as the golden rays of sunlight filtered through the shoji doors, there was joy in there.

She saw profound, encroaching joy reflected in his eyes that looked at her at that very moment. He smiled in a way she had never seen before — it wasn’t the smile of a lord, nor one of a prince. It was one that she would never see again, no matter how much she ached for it in the future. It was the smile of a simple young man, looking at something that seemed so precious he was willing to discard the royal bearing if only for that moment.

The first time they did it, they were seventeen.

It was a night neither Ryoma nor Kagero would ever forget, though these memories would be tinted in very different lights for the both of them. For Kagero, it was the day she had first served him and showed him what she was truly capable of. It felt like an entrance ceremony of sorts.

One that she would treasure for the rest of her days.

For Ryoma, it was the most shameful yet the most pleasurable night he had ever had.

It had been only the most pleasurable up until the moment their eyes met after they woke up.

She looked so dazzling in the sunlight, as only the important parts of her body were covered by either her perfect black hair or by the bed sheet. As she sat up, he wanted to push her back down and stay with her all day.

He wasn’t thinking too deeply. He simply wanted to stay with her.

But the moment her voice reached his ears, reality came crashing down on him.

“Good morning, Lord Ryoma,” she had said, her voice carrying no weight at all and lifting him up, “how may I serve you today?” she said with those same lips that were so swollen he felt a filthy sense of pride inside of him for being its perpetrator. With those same lips that had called him so sweetly, she had asked him about servitude.

All warmth left Ryoma’s eyes as he looked at her as if he was seeing a stranger. Kagero noticed the shift in emotions right away, but pretended not to, as it wasn’t her incumbency as a servant. She was there to serve, not to ask.

Yet, when he simply got up and left without saying a word more, Kagero wondered if she had done something wrong.

She replayed the events of the previous night in her head, over and over.

Over and over. Over and over she remembered it, evaluating her performance, her gestures, her responses to his touches.

There was nothing she could say that had gone wrong, not to the point of him looking at her like she had grown a second head. What had gone astray, then?

Confused, but not about to forget about the rest of her duties, Kagero quickly tidied up the room before any maidservant came and found her there. One of her duties as she served Ryoma through the nights was discretion, most of all, so although her role was somehow obvious to every ninja out there, it was still considered an open secret.

So, she would protect her Lord’s face by pretending nothing had happened, as it was custom.

Were he to need her again, she would be at his beck and call, but for the moment, she focused on the task at hand.

Still, she couldn’t help but remain confused throughout the day. Saizo said that Ryoma was spending the day in meditation under the waterfall a few ways behind the castle, and that her services weren’t needed — as it had been the custom for the last few months — so she occupied herself with minor assignments.

She couldn’t tell about what had happened to Orochi, so there was no one to confide in nor anyone to ask advice about. There was no time to go back to her village and talk to her former instructor about it, so she had to make do by herself.

Had she done anything wrong? What could it have been? Could she do something to make it up, perhaps…?

The answer that came was through Saizo, later that night.

“Lord Ryoma said you can take a week off. Be grateful by our Lord’s grace,” he puffed his chest with pride, not even once imagining what had happened between them.

To Kagero, it felt like the ground was opening under her feet. So she had done something wrong. What could it have been?

Kagero could barely remember how she passed that week. Did she train? Did she meditate? Did she attain Nirvana? She couldn’t know.

What she knew, however, was that, the moment her probation — there was no way she could call that a vacation — was over, she met Ryoma’s eyes without any regards to her inner turmoil, smiling in the way that was expected of her.

She bowed deeply.

“Long time to no see, my Lord,” she said, a slight flush on her cheeks as she saw Ryoma look at her without averting his gaze.

If she had been closer to him, she would have seen a ripple of emotion in his eyes, or the clenched fist under the desk. Alas, as she was simply kneeling by the door, there was no way for her to see it all properly.

“Welcome back, Kagero,” he said with a deep voice, making the hairs of her neck stand on end. It had been too long since she had heard his voice, so she was somehow elated.

He acted as usual, so Kagero would follow suit.

From that day on, she was given more work — or rather, she was given the appropriate amount of work that was expected of her. Eager to show her abilities, Kagero did everything assigned to her with perfection, feeling accomplished, at least in that regard.

Yet, Ryoma never called for her to ‘serve’ him again.

“As I thought,” she mumbled one night, “I must have done something wrong.”

Intent on finding out what, Kagero tried to better herself in every way possible. As she and Saizo grew closer during their time together, Kagero found a way to test it all out.

Even if Saizo shared her contempt for the more ‘intimate’ matters, it wasn’t as if he was completely opposed to doing it, so one night, as they patrolled together, he gave in to Kagero’s advances.

He knew that she had deliberately chosen that moment to conjoin with him, and she was aware of that as well, so they simply did it without thinking too much about it. They had started a relationship that had lasted for a few months anyway, so it wasn’t as though they were doing anything wrong.

After they were done, Kagero sat on the bed, allowing her hair to cover her chest, and asked Saizo what had been bothering her.

“How do you rate my performance?” She asked bluntly. He knew that she had realized that he was aware of her intentions, so there was no need to tip-toe around each other.

However, he also noticed that she was serious about it — just as she was about every part of her training — so he had to give her his honest opinion. He sat down as well, and they talked like the coworkers they were, except without the clothes.

“You were flawless. Straight out of the book.” He said honestly.

Kagero tilted her head to the side, unsatisfied with the response.

If that was true, then why…? Why was it? Why did Ryoma react that way after their night together? Why did he give her a week off?

Why, why, why…

He had looked so content just before she had greeted him. Was it how she worded it? How else could she have greeted him, then?

Was he dissatisfied with how her voice sounded? But Saizo said she was flawless, and he wasn’t one to give such compliments without truly meaning them. He would have told her if her voice had been even slightly off.

For weeks, for months, for years she was confused.

She still did her job perfectly, but was never asked to serve again.

She should have been happy about it, right? After all, she had been greatly disappointed to find out that Ryoma actually wanted her to serve him like that.

Yet, when he didn’t call on her anymore, it felt like she had failed.

She wanted to serve him fully; she wanted to give him everything she had, and all she had was herself.

The more time they spent together, the more she heard his voice, the more she saw him grow into the commander and prince that would rule Hoshido one day, the longer she wanted to look at him.

The more she wanted to be by his side.

Why didn’t he call on her? She wanted to be of use so badly.

Even after the war broke out in earnest, she saw how hard he worked, and how badly he needed a nightly comfort, and yet he never called on her. They interacted just as usual, but that wasn’t enough.

It wasn’t enough anymore.

She couldn’t take it anymore, not after that terrible, thundering, stormy night at the border between Nohr and Hoshido.

Not after Corrin had left to stay with the nohrians; not after seeing Ryoma trudge back to the castle as if one could collect pieces of him that had broken along the way.

No, she couldn’t let that go on anymore.

She would go to him… and she would serve.

The moment she decided that, she remembered her instructor’s words, those that she hadn’t understood for so long in her youth.

Give your body, but keep your heart well protected.

Ah. Kagero understood it now. It all made sense as she made her way to her lord.

As she held his hand and made him touch her cheeks.

As she looked up at him under her eyelids and struggled to hide her thundering heartbeat.

It all made sense now.

But it would’ve been better if it all had remained a mystery.

#ryoma x kagero #ryoma fire emblem #kagero fire emblem #theres mention of spice but its perfectly sfw dw dw #my writings #yuki's commissions #fire emblem fates #fef

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