#immaculate pizza experience

[queermania]

You scrape the cheese off of pizza?? Dumb question but why don't you make/order it without cheese, bestie?

it doesn't taste/cook the same way but greasy melty cheese makes me feel sick 😔

[dateamonster]

youre doomscrolling through twitter to try and distract yourself from your empty stomach and empty wallet when you come across some inspiration porn about a delivery driver who collapsed on a customers front porch. the homeowner turned out to be an emt and after seeing her fall with the help of his doorbell-mounted security camera he was able to perform the necessary first aid and rush her to the hospital, and even started a fund to pay for her medical bills after the footage went viral. in the end she not only raised enough money to pay her bills but enough to quit her delivery job for good.

broke and desperate, a dangerous idea begins to take root in your brain. you are not currently a delivery driver, but youve dabbled, and you do have some experience taking bad falls, as well as punches, kicks, and the occasional elbow to the sternum. you have tried worse things for less money.

you order a pizza and cram yourself into a passable looking red polo tee and khakis. googling "rich doctors near me" doesnt exactly yield the results you were looking for, but it gives you enough of a jumping off point, and in only a few clicks you have an address. the multiple conspicuous security cameras mounted around the property look promising. never mind that the couple that lives here (two doctors! how lucky can you get.) didnt actually order the pizza; you can cross that bridge when you come to it. you approach the front steps, making sure to be well in view of at least one of the cameras at all times, stagger, and then take a dive, smashing face-first into one of those decorative fake rocks uppermiddleclassers love for some reason. you try to embody an air of pitiability as you go down.

you lie there a moment, face down in a strangers rock garden, tasting your own blood as it drips lazily from your nose. after some thirty seconds have passed it occurs to you that you maybe should have done something to check that the couple are actually home first. still you dont get up just yet, and a moment later you are rewarded.

you hear multiple sets of footsteps shuffle onto the porch, stopping short as their owners catch sight of your limp body. you plan to feign unconsciousness at least until they turn you over, so they can see your face, see the very real blood and bruising. you wouldnt want them to think you were faking or anything. after what feels like far too long a pause, a soft, feminine voice says,

"theyre still breathing."

"lucky," says the man, his voice something breathless and thick with gravel.

"i'll take the legs, you take the arms."

and then you are being lifted, carried with no small effort up the steps and into the house. they must be bringing you somewhere more comfortable to treat your injuries. you crack open one eye but all you manage to see from your unfortunate position is a few glimpses of the immaculately clean hardwood, the carpet, the marble tile. your prone body swings like a hammock between them, and soon all their jostling and this blurry upside-down view combined with the iron taste lingering on your tongue starts to make you feel vaguely sick until you have to shut your eyes again.

at last you are deposited on a cold, hard surface, the chill of it seeping through your bloody polo and up your spine. youre no longer lying limp and motionless because youre still hoping to pull off this grift; any half-baked hopes have been chased out by a creeping sense of dread, and you know somewhere in your gut that the moment you open your eyes you will have to face that dread and name it.

a mechanical murmur followed by a harsh clank and the sensation of icy metal closing around your wrists and ankles wrenches the privilege of hesitation from you. you gasp and your eyes fly open. the starburst of harsh white light that greets them reminds you distantly of a childhood trip to the dentist.

"good morning, sunshine," that syrupy voice from earlier chirps at you. squinting through the brightness, you make out two figures of similar stature dressed in vomit green medical scrubs that appear to have been hastily pulled over their ordinary clothes. the man is washing his hands in a small sink somewhere off past your feet. the woman is securing a paper mask, though even with her mouth covered, you can still see the smile pushing up her high sculpted cheekbones to the point where she seems barely able to keep her eyes open.

her skin is like a smooth putty, not a wrinkle or pore or freckle in sight, as if there were a layer of pink latex pulled taut over her real face.

"you came just in time," the man, her husband, calls over his shoulder as he shakes his hands dry and reaches for a box of gloves. "we didnt know where we were going to find another subject, and then, out of nowhere, there you were." he turns and steps into the light, and the face that stares down at you is a lidless mass of pulsing purple-red veins, hairless, damp with sweat already (you hope its sweat). a narrow arrow nose with nostrils too thin to take in breath sits above a rosy sphincter of a mouth, before that too is covered by a mask.

if you manage to scream, you cant hear it over the relentless whine of whatever machine sits just outside of your periphery, just out of reach no matter how you twist and strain at the manacles holding you in place, and the ringing in your own ears.

"youre just what the doctor ordered."

[bathomet-writes]

a view to a thrill

summary: It’s been months since the Kraang attack on New York, and Raph has been acting a little strange lately. He’s been doing something in secret, that much Leo knew. And tonight, his brothers are gonna get to the bottom of it!

relationship: Raph x F!reader

warnings: romantic, fluff, humor, secret dating, forehead kisses, sfw

word count: 4,033

author's note: this is a request for @/snipersiniora!! enjoy!!

It’s been months since the Kraang attack on New York. After all the clean-up and recuperation efforts, the city was mostly back to normal. A new normal, anyway. 

Leo sat at the kitchen island, munching on the last slice of leftover pizza as he thought about all the changes he and his family had been going through lately. 

They had all talked about and dealt with most of the fallout of the Kraang. It was hard, but necessary. Leo hated having to watch all his brothers live through each of their experiences all over again, every time the subject was seriously brought up. The healing was almost harder than the pain, weirdly enough. 

Shaking his head, Leo tries to stop himself from spiraling back down that rabbit hole. He didn’t like how conscious of his own emotions he was becoming. It made him jumpy, on edge. 

It also made him a lot more hyper aware. Not just of himself, but of his brothers too. He found himself becoming much more of a helicopter parent of sorts. It came with being the leader, he supposed. Didn’t make it any less annoying. 

As he swallowed the final bite of pizza, Leo’s thoughts went to Raph. 

“Where is that guy anyway?”

It wasn’t like Raph had to be at the lair the same time every night. He was free to do whatever he pleased! But it was nearly 7 PM, and Leo hadn’t seen heads or tails of Raph all day. 

Going out on ‘solo missions,’ volunteering to grab pizza, take out, what have you. Raph had a clever excuse for every time his brothers asked where he was going. Leo noticed that he was taking longer and longer to come back each time, but that wasn’t enough of a reason to be suspicious. 

In his lab, Donnie was casually checking in on everyone’s pins during a break from his video game when he saw it. Raph’s little red icon was nowhere on the map. Was his tracker glitching out or something?

“Not possible,” Donnie seethes. “My tech is immaculate.”

He zoomed out to get a wider view of the sewers. It was only a 10 mile radius, but surely Raph was somewhere around. 

Nothing. 

He zooms out again, looking at a 15 mile radius. 

Zip. 

“What…?”

He didn’t usually keep tabs on his brothers like this, but Donnie was starting to get worried. Quickly, he taps into the city’s surveillance systems and gets a complete view of New York. Far off on the other end of town, near the docks to be precise, Donnie saw a red dot blinking away. 

“Ah. He’s probably busting up a mafia ring or something. Yeah!” Donnie nods to himself. 

Couldn’t be anything else. 

Suddenly, the blinking stops. Donnie scrambles to the edge of his chair to grab at the computer screen. Raph turned off his GPS…

“Okay, that’s it.”

In the rec room area, Mikey had been pacing around for a while. With board games and phone in hand, he was starting to panic. Tonight was supposed to be family game night, and Mikey was the only one who showed up. Even Splinter bailed on him, having accidentally passed out on his bed after dinner. 

“This is so not cool. I had the games picked out and everything!”

Right as Mikey drops the box of Scrabble and the container of dominos, Donnie storms in. 

“This is ridiculous.”

Mikey spins around, equally exasperated. “You’re tellin’ me! Can you believe it?”

Leo had sauntered in as well, his curiosity piqued when he heard the commotion all the way from the kitchen. Crossing his arms, he leans up against the entryway. 

“It’s so frustrating. Is it so much to ask for a little communication? A little honesty?”

Donnie and Mikey approach, nodding their heads furiously along with their brother. 

“Right!”

“Precisely!”

The three of them stand there for a second, in total silence. Leo slowly blinks his eyes open. 

“What are we talking about? I mean, I know what I’m talking about.”

Donnie points at his wrist. “I’ll tell you: Raph, our brother, has just turned off his tracker. How did he even do that? It’s subcutaneous!”

Leo clears his throat with a furrowed brow. He was just going to ignore the fact that Donnie somehow managed to implant tracking devices inside all of them. For now. 

“He couldn’t have chewed it out. Mine’s all the way back here!” Mikey spins around, grabbing pitifully at the back of his neck. “Dang, almost.”

“Wait— He what? Lemme see that.”

Leo grabs at Donnie’s wrist, scanning over the map display. “You didn’t happen to—“

“Near the docks, I already committed it to memory.”

Donnie gives his brothers a haughty grin as they applaud his excellent memory. 

“Impressive!”

“Very sneaky,” Mikey smirks. 

Then, Leo brings them all in for a short conference. 

“Okay, it’s clear to me now that Raph is most certainly hiding something. He’s not in trouble, or else he’d be calling one of us. Right?”

Mikey whips out his phone and dials Raph. “Let’s see…”

They watch with bated breath as the line rings. Raph wouldn’t ignore a phone call from his youngest, goodest brother, would he?

“Hey, you’ve reached Raphael! I can’t come to the phone right now—“

“HYAH—!” Mikey tosses his phone against the wall. “Not the voicemail!”

This wasn’t like Raph at all, they wonder to themselves. 

Surely he, of all people, would want to keep his loved ones close after the invasion. He didn’t have to stay put in the lair all the time, but he could have at least had the decency to keep his tracker on. Leo nods, making the executive decision. 

“Then it’s settled.” He pulls out his portal lying sword and slices through the air. “C’mon.”

Leo calmly walks through, with Mikey and Donnie following close behind. 

Raph’s been doing something in secret, that much Leo knew. And tonight, his brothers are gonna get to the bottom of it! 

—

Quietly, Raph hops in-between shipping containers. He was running late, so he resorted just to using his ninja skills to get him to his destination. 

He didn’t even check his phone when he felt it buzz. 

“No time! Can’t talk!” He speaks to the inanimate object before stowing it away. 

Finally, he sees it. Albeartoland!

Raph zeros in on the silhouette of the roller coaster in the distance before flash-stepping. It wasn’t like he would be breaking in, there weren’t exactly any security around the place, but Raph tried to creep in as stealthily as he could. 

It was never in great shape before (the Mad Dogs made sure of that when it first opened), but Albeartoland was officially closed after the invasion. The NYC Clean-Up Project just didn’t have it in the budget to refurbish a dilapidated amusement park. 

The rides were all mostly destroyed, the main roller coaster barely being held together. The ferris wheel was somewhere in the ocean below the pier, most likely. But what didn’t rely on electricity was still intact. 

Carnival games, abandoned food stands, and walkable attractions. It wasn’t ideal, but Raph hoped to himself that they would be enough entertainment for tonight. 

Once he finally made his way to the entrance, he quietly surveyed the area. 

“She must have left already…” Raph sighs to himself. 

“Nope, still here.”

Suddenly, Raph twists around to see you standing just behind the front gate. You smile, giving him a small salute. “I wouldn’t give up after only…15 minutes of waiting?”

You glance down at your phone, checking the hour. “Plus, you actually gave me enough time to find the breaker. Maybe you can use your brute strength to kick it on and we can see if this place has any juice left.”

His spirit lifts immediately as he brings you into a spine-breaking hug. “You’re the best!”

You weakly fight back against his hold, blushing as he places a couple of smooches on the top of your head. 

“I know! Now put me down before you break something.”

He gives you one last kiss before setting you back down. His face was starting to heat up as well. 

“You’re right, you’re precious cargo.”

Chuckling, you lead him over to the power breaker in the center of the park. You didn’t really have any knowledge about circuitry, but most of the wires were either torn out or fried. Couldn’t hurt to try it anyway. 

“After you. I’m pretty sure you won’t get electrocuted…” You shrug, moving to the side to allow him to pull the main switch.

“Pfft, I’m sure it’s fine.” Raph spits onto the palms of his hands, rearing up to grab ahold of the handle. “Stand back, wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”

You back away, putting your arms up defensively. “From the sparks?”

“No, from the gun show.” He smirks, flexing his impressive arms. 

You ogle him from afar as he pulls the switch up. With a loud mechanical sound, the power kicks back on and the park slowly begins to light up. You get momentarily distracted from Raph as the twinkling lights blink on around you. 

“Not bad, Red. You better start charging me admission.” You slink back over to him, letting your fingers walk along his toned muscles. 

In the distance, you swear you hear something. Maybe it was all in your head, but you swore you just heard someone vomit. 

“Hm?” You look behind you. 

Nobody. Weird.

You feel Raph begin to pull away from your touch, flustered at your compliment. 

“Ahaha…” He smiles goofily at you. “Why don’t we take a walk around? There’s probably a game that isn’t completely trashed.”

You glance back one more time before going to catch up with Raph. “Yeah, right.”

For a while, the two of you busy yourselves with trying out various attractions. The sledgehammer bell game instantly caught your eye. A test of strength would be the perfect thing to impress Raph, you thought to yourself. 

With a bit of swagger in your step, you make your way over to the game. “Check this out, stud.”

Lifting himself out of a toppled food cart, Raph looks up at you with a piece of funnel cake in his mouth. 

“Dude, how old is that?” You grimace as you lift up the hammer. 

Swallowing the rest, Raph wipes away the crumbs. “Tastes pretty old.”

He giggles watching your face twist with disgust. 

“Whatever. Prepare to be amazed!”

You lift the hammer high over your head before bringing it down. The rubber collides with the sensor, causing the dial on the machine to shoot up. It bobs a bit near the top before dropping to the middle, right around the ‘weakling’ marker. 

You stutter, feeling sheepish. “That…that one didn’t count.”

Before you know it, Raph walks up behind you and politely offers his hand. “These games are all rigged. Here, let me.”

Raph gives you that warm, confident look that always fills your stomach with butterflies. Blushing, you hand the hammer to him. 

“Well, you’ll probably just break it anyway. Go ahead.” You scoff. 

He squares his legs to about shoulder-length apart, almost like he’s about to tee off at golf. Raph takes his sweet time getting ready before finally hitting the sensor. 

Gingerly, he brings his arms up and taps the hammer. “Boop.”

You throw your head back, rolling your eyes. “Okay, wise guy. How ‘bout you try for real now?”

Raph tosses a snarky look your way, his fang poking out of his mouth. 

“If you say so.”

In a flash, you watch as Raph summons his mystic powers. His red, glowing arms expand out to grab ahold of the hammer. It was dwarfed by his large hands, but his grip remained tight. With a boost of speed and power, Raph reels back and practically smashes the sensor. 

The dial on the game goes much higher this time, unsurprisingly. Just when you both think it’ll hit the bell at the top, it sinks back down to the lowest marker. 

You blink, stepping forward. “What does that say…? Wimp?”

Smirking, you hear Raph shuffle next to you. 

“No. That can’t be right!”

“Oh yeah, you’re right. It actually says ‘Shrimp.’ My bad.”

Raph’s face breaks out into a deep red color before he shakes his mystic fist at the game. He sure did like to talk to inanimate objects a lot. 

“Callin’ me shrimpy, huh? You wanna go?” He growls. 

Then, he leaps up high into the air, locking his fists together. If the hammer wasn’t enough to prove his strength, his fists certainly could. 

You nonchalantly walk back a safe distance, watching him relentlessly smash the sensor with his massive hands. He moves on to just destroying the rest of the game in a blind rage, flattening the bell with a resounding crunch. 

With a dry chuckle, you walk back up to him after his mystic energy disappears. 

“You sure showed it who’s boss.” You kick at the remnants of the game. 

Raph pouts, folding his arms across his chest. “Serves it right.”

You have to stop yourself from ‘aww’-ing at his angry face. He was just too adorable! Thinking on your feet, you skip away from Raph. 

“Hold on!” You shout. 

You look around at all the nearby booths, digging through the rubble and debris. To your disappointment, there really weren't any carnival prizes left. All the plushies were either taken by young delinquents raiding the park or destroyed in the Kraang invasion, apparently.

You nearly give up before you walk past the last booth. There was exactly one Albearto plush left, hanging sadly on the side of the counter. You snatch it up and quickly try to dust it off. 

You tip-toe back up to Raph, plush hidden behind your back. He was still sulking, but he had moved to sit at the edge of the dock. His beefy legs dangled off the pier. 

You smile cheekily, poking his shell. “Since you did technically hit the bell, I think you deserve a prize. The law of the amusement park demands it.”

Raph peeks up at you, still scowling. “Whaddaya mean?”

You present him with the Albearto plush with a flourish. “Ta-da! I know you hate kinda hate this guy, but…”

Before your slightly embarrassed ramblings can go on, Raph takes the toy from you. His eyes go wide and watery at your kind gesture. 

“F-For me?”

You and Raph stare at each other lovingly. 

“You don’t need a carnival game to tell you that you’re literally the strongest dude alive.” You wink, moving closer to scratch underneath Raph’s chin. Right where he liked it. 

In the background, another voice calls out. It was…cheering?

There it was again! You spin around toward the source of the noise. Was someone following you? 

Raph’s contented sighs of happiness soon drown out your errant thoughts. You were just paranoid, you thought. Facing him again, you give Raph a couple more scritches. 

“That’s so weird.” You whisper. 

“Mmm…what is, baby?”

His cute pet name sends a bolt of lightning straight to your heart. You think it might actually stop beating for a second. 

“What did I tell you about calling me that?” Your eyeball twitches, trying to reign in your emotions. 

Raph sighs, lumbering to stand up. He moves your hands away so that he can slide his up to your face. 

“You said that you’d probably have a heart attack and die. But I think you were lyin’ to me.” He smirks. 

You tuck your head into your shirt collar, feeling positively bombarded with affection. Raph knew that whenever he called you that, you melted into a human puddle. 

“Stop! I’ll push you off!” You joke, playfully slapping his hands away. 

Raph laughs, moving away. “Okay, okay. Do you think the carousel still works—“

The wood plank Raph was standing began to creak and whine under your combined weights. Maybe the park was in worse shape than he thought. Suddenly, the edge of the pier shifts, the weather-worn wood snapping. 

All Raph can do is stare dumbly into your eyes as he starts to fall. Even his ninja reflexes weren’t quick enough to catch him. 

“Raph!” You shout, reaching your hands out to somehow catch him. 

Without even thinking, your body launches forward on instinct. You knew you didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell, but you knew you had to save Raph. Even if it meant dislocating your shoulder. 

Your hands shoot out as you fall to the ground. The wood was weak, but it had you up. The splintered edge dug roughly into your stomach, but you didn’t care. You grit your teeth, feeling your hands grab onto something. 

Somehow, you manage to grab a hold of Raph’s wrist. 

Raph gulps, his voice shaky. 

“I thought you were kidding.”

You quickly grab him with your other hand, trying with all your might to pull him back up. It didn’t help that Raph weighed…well, as much as an insanely jacked mutant turtle weighed. 

“Shut up and get back up here!” You groan. 

You don’t even pay attention to the sound of something landing behind you. 

Raph strains a bit, but swings his other arm up. He catches the edge of the pier with his index finger and slowly pulls himself back up. 

“Thank God I didn’t skip arm day,” he hisses.

Finally, you pull Raph all the way up. Dragging you both over to the prize booth nearby, you pant and try to catch your breaths.

“T-Thanks,” He wheezes, grabbing his chest. “I almost took a swim.”

You bend down and lean onto your knees, shooting Raph an apologetic frown.

“Don’t thank me. You did most of the work.”

“You’re probably right, but your bravery was commendable. Well done.”

A nasally voice echoes behind you, giving you a half-hearted clap. Donnie walks forward, cocking his head to the side. He was sizing you up, analyzing your face. 

“Woah, who’s the babe?” Leo pops his head over Donnie’s shoulder, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. 

You feel yourself start to sweat under their scrutinizing gazes. You definitely knew Raph had brothers, you’ve seen their blurry images on social media. But you’ve never officially met them. Raph and you have had many conversations about it, whether or not he should tell them about your relationship. You both came to the conclusion that, at least for now, it’d be best to keep it on the down-low. 

With the blue and purple-clad turtles eyeing you up and down, however, that might be a little difficult. 

You gulp. Time to make a good first impression.

“Hey, isn’t there an orange one?”

Well, maybe just an impression. 

“That’s me!” 

Mikey slides in and places an arm over your shoulder, bringing you into a friendly side-hug. 

Soon enough, the three brothers crowd into your personal space, trying to get a better look at you. Their heads press up against one another, making you snicker. 

“Uh, hello.” You take a step back.

“Wait—!” Raph marches over to stand in-between you and the others. “What are you bozos doin’ here?”

Taking the lead, Leo pushes himself forward.

“We’re just here to check up on our dear older brother. We didn’t look up your location and follow you all the way out here to snoop, because if you’re thinking that, you’re dead wrong.”

Raph narrows his eyes. He looks over to a meek looking Mikey and Donnie, waiting to hear their excuse. They didn’t even try to lie, simply shrugging to him. 

“You turned off your tracker. Could you blame us?” Donnie sighs.

“And, you missed family game night! We were gonna do our domino rematch like you promised.” Mikey’s lip quivers, giving Raph big puppy dog eyes. 

“That was tonight? Ugh.” Raph slaps his forehead. 

He did feel like he was pulling away from his brothers a little bit lately, but he was always sure to keep his schedule straight. There was family time, and there was you time. 

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t…” 

Raph looks back at you, politely standing off to the side. 

You didn’t want to interrupt, or accidentally say anything stupid. This seemed like a more personal matter between brothers, so you just kept to yourself. When Raph looks back at you, eyes searching for the right words, you bite at your lip. 

Quickly, you introduce yourself to Leo, Donnie, and Mikey.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take your brother away from you guys.”

Your heart was pounding in your chest as they looked at you curiously. You don’t know how else to behave in front of them, so you just bow. It’s a formal, almost awkward way to greet them. But how else could you react to meeting more of the people who basically saved the entire world from alien invaders.

“Thank you for saving New York. Not just from the Kraang, obviously…” You chuckle, looking at the ground. “But for all that other stuff.”

Suddenly, Leo breaks out into laughter. 

You straighten your back, looking even more awkward. Did you say something wrong? Did your bowing offend them somehow? Your mind raced as Leo continued to guffaw at you.

Suddenly they all realize, in their own unique way, that Raph had a girlfriend. A real, flesh-and-blood girlfriend!

Leo was a little surprised, but proud nonetheless. He was just relieved that Raph wasn’t hiding some deep, dark secret about moonlighting as a vigilante or something. 

“Holy shit! This one’s a card! Nice going, brother.” Leo playfully slaps at Raph’s back.

Donnie hangs back, seemingly trying to do endless math equations in his mind. If his brother had been dating, surely he would have seen all the signs? How did Raph manage to evade his expert perception for months?

“For no reason in particular, could you give me all of your personal information? Phone number, work place, social security number.” Donnie approaches you, notepad in hand.

“I’m gonna go with ‘no.’” You smirk, pushing him away.

Mikey was nothing but ecstatic! He jumped forward, wrapping you up in a big, cuddly hug. He was a little miffed at Raph for skipping family time, but how could he stay mad knowing that his big bro had finally found love?

“Welcome to our messed up family! Our dad’s a rat!”

You stumble a bit when he crawls onto your back, but you give his hand a friendly pat. “So I’ve heard.”

Raph watches with slight disbelief as Leo walks up and greets you as well. You all exchange your names and get all the pleasantries out of the way. 

Was it always going to be this easy, you meeting all of his brothers? Suddenly, Raph felt pretty bad for being so nervous about introducing you. Not that he didn’t trust you, or that the others wouldn’t, it’s just that he didn’t know how to navigate that part of your relationship yet. 

Then, Raph feels a pang of love deep in his gut. He knew that as long as he had his brothers and you, he’d be okay. He’d be more than okay.

“I didn’t know how else to react, okay? What, did you want me to say ‘thank you for your service’?’” You joke.

“Yikes, that’s worse.” Leo scratches the side of his head and laughs along with you.

Raph silently approaches, moving to stand behind you. 

“Sorry guys. I know I’ve been kinda—“

“Ah-ah. Say no more. We know.” Donnie waves him off with a lazy smile. 

“Yeah, you’ve only been dating for a couple of months. You were just taking your time!” Mikey flashes Raph a bright smile, giving him a thumbs up.

Then, you look back to Raph, quirking up an eyebrow. 

“Should we tell them?” 

Raph chuckles, a sweat drop running down his face. 

“A couple of months, a year, what’s the difference?”

The five of you stand there for a second. You could hear a pin drop. 

“WHAAAAAAT?” 

Leo, Donnie, and Mikey collectively scream, attacking Raph and tackling him to the ground.

You cackle watching them playfully fight with each other. Your life was bound to become a lot more messed up now, but that was just fine with you.

taglist: @saspas-corner

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 11: Angst In My Pants (The Decline And Fall Of Me)

Album two of two in the series of Sparks' immaculate new wave releases! Iconic in every way imaginable from the music to the artwork to ONE music video. I think it's more musically (and lyrically!) varied and mature in tone (besides... a couple exceptions. Yes, an album called Angst In My Pants) than its predecessor, which is a very good development. These songs will leave you chuckling and bopping along and also pondering the intricacies of human existence. Ok, maybe that's a bit of a stretch, but it can't be denied that behind much of the earnestness and theatricality here, there's lots of quite emotional, introspective and thought-provoking stuff to be found.

Thematically, this album goes everywhere. One moment we are in Sextown U.S.A, the next we're visiting Disneyland, California where we make friends among people and animals. On a more serious note though, I think the biggest emotional whiplash one could experience between different songs on an album is between Mickey Mouse and Sherlock Holmes. And yet there's still a very prominent element of humour, even in those songs that are on the more serious or dramatic end of the scale.

I said a few days ago that I'd try to return to the topic of Sparks' brand of humour and how it works, but I don't feel intelligent enough to analyse that today. And I'm pretty sure that from what I've seen, Other People And The Maels Themselves (Said It Better Than Me). So instead, as a little send-off, please remember: if a mouse can be special, well, SO CAN YOU!!! 🫵

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Angst In My Pants: literally no other song like this one in this world. I can't tell why that is but it's just. So great

I Predict: I had a weird kind of effect where I heard this song in my early days of Sparking and it felt VEEERY familiar to me. I think it was due to the genre / style here, it reminded me of something specific, at first I thought it was very glam rock but I'm pretty sure that this is not it but something else (and I don't know what to call it in that case!). Anyway, banger song

Tarzan And Jane: whoa wait, am I already skipping to the third-to-last song on the tracklist?? I guess I am. This one's great and one of my early favs too (I wonder how long it will take until I run out of things to say about my fav songs and it all just becomes this list of 'it's very good and I like it a lot. next.')

The Decline And Fall Of Me: it's great!! I like it!! And, of course, "check out my pizzas"

Eaten By The Monster Of Love: personal reasons that lead to a printed and framed mini-comic of my making appearing on my desk, which features some of the lyrics of this song, which caused me to have it permanently stuck in my head for a pretty long period of time. And this way I ended up liking it much much more than I did in the beginning, when it still seemed somehow pretty unremarkable to me

[uselessopinionsaroundfood]

Le Supreme - Lyon France - 9/7/2024

Le Supreme

The French do food better.  Don’t argue with me, get on a plane, eat in France, and then stop pretending like I’m not right. I’m a fortunate eater.  What does that mean? It means I prioritize food and so I’ve gotten to eat at top restaurants around the world, and I’ve eaten meat, vegetable, and sweet dishes that I’ll remember more than the date of any anniversary (which I have a tendency to forget).   So, what makes the French so good? I think the obvious answer could be butter. But having been here for three days I haven’t gotten any butter, not even at the breakfast buffet at the hotel.  They have soy milk and peanut butter (not together) but no butter. But that’s not what makes their food so good.  I’m going to eat more this week to prove my theory, but this first thought is about last night’s dinner at Lyon’s Le Supréme, and supreme it was.  

But before we get to that, let’s go back a few years.  I was in Northern Spain with some friends, and we were there for the midlife crisis reason of running from the bulls.  I know it’s with the bulls, but if you’ve ever done it, you know you aren’t running with them.  Knowing that northern Spain is known as one of the culinary capitals of the world there was no way we could not hit at least one top Michelin spot.  Now if you’re not a Michelin believer don’t worry, stick with me here, and if you are, stick with me cause I’m probably going to make you mad.  Either way, come for the ride.  We made reservations at Mugaritz, considered one of the top 10 restaurants in the entire world, with 2 Michelin stars (they’ve got one to spare apparently).  We arrived at the beautiful farm-like setting and were instantly impressed.  We then walked into the restaurant where tables were set so far apart from each other it felt like each table was a private restaurant. Before we ordered we were offered a kitchen tour and took a photo with one of the chefs.  The kitchen was immaculate and silent, setting the stage for perfection.  But that’s where perfection ended.  This isn’t about Mugartiz, this writing is about French Food, but the next three hours were the worst dining experience I’ve ever had, and I just ate food on British Airways.  This experience brought everything about fine dining into question: What’s more important presentation or flavor?  Real and natural ingredients or molecular gastronomy?  And more than anything it made me realize that the Michelin guide has become more about places not to eat vs ones to visit if your goal is great food over prestige and politics.  Michelin fans mad yet?  Michelin has lost its credibility with actual food lovers.  Mugaritz was the most expensive and disappointing meal of my life, to this day.  We went and got pizza afterwards.  Also, there was just a story about a diner who refused to pay at Mugaritz because the food was so bad, so I’m not alone.  So why tell that story, other than hoping it keeps you from wasting your money there?  Because it highlights the difference between the perception of greatness and the reality of greatness in dining.  

Last night, at a local’s recommendation, I went to a small restaurant in the heart of Lyon, next to a subway station entrance.  It’s so unassuming I walked past the entrance.  The setting feels like any nice neighborhood restaurant, nothing to write home about but a place you could happily spend a few hours with friends and feel wonderfully welcomed.  Le Supreme is owned by a husband and wife team, and what you wouldn’t expect from the lack of pomp and circumstance is that he trained at Danielle in NY for 8 years. 

So here is a French chef who has trained with one of the best chefs in the world, so should I be getting ready for foams, gelee and presentation over flavor?  No.  this is why no one does it better than the French. At the core of every dish is letting the fresh ingredients shine through, letting them do the work that they are supposed to do, not covering them up with unnecessary fuss for the sake of Instagram, although these were beautiful dishes.  The menu is either a 4 or 5 course meal, with two choices for each course, except for their signature Blond Liver cake.  The menu changes based on ingredient availability and chef desires.  I went with four courses, reasonably priced, with the wine pairing (I’m in France, did I have a choice?).  The first dish was a “perfect egg” with butternut squash, a slight balsamic reduction, chanterelles, and bits of black truffle.   I might actually stop writing this so go back to the restaurant to get more now.  The next course was their signature blond liver cake with a chorizo and popcorn topping and while most liver cakes are bitter, this Lyon specialty had a subtle and refreshing sweetness to it, wait I might actually go back to the restaurant to get this one now.  That was followed by the single best duck breast I’ve ever had.  Served perfectly cooked in a subtly sweet reduction with beets, beet chips, radish slices, and some citrus it seemed like I could cut this duck with my fork. This was French cuisine at its best.  So, what makes it so good? Why am I saying no one does it better than the French?  In all the meals I’ve had, the best are the ones that do amazing things with great ingredients and realize that no chef can do anything better than what nature has already done.  Showcase what they offer and get out of the way.  Each of these dishes aren’t ones I could recreate in my own kitchen, they use skill sets far beyond my training (or lack thereof) but what Le Supreme did again and again was let you taste everything in each dish, everything was there for a reason and was allowed its moment to shine.  Nothing was there for show, nothing overpowered anything else, they were all great friends at the same party, and excited to hear what each of them had to share.  French cooking does this better than anyone, so enjoy cuisine from around the world, it has a lot to offer, but just remember, the French have set the bar for fine dining, they love their ingredients, and they probably added more butter than you. 

[asmallorb]

PIZZA TOWER the Towers & Toppins AU: Character Creation P1

 (Updated 24/03/23)

D&D5e meets Pizza Tower, that’s it. That’s the bit. 

Starting a fun, zero pressured side venture to satiate my current interests and have something to do as I chip away at animating/rendering for my latest freelance gig. I have thoughts and ideas, and I shall be updating the post with anything else I think of as I go along as well as ideas contributed by others, should anyone have any (That and correcting any inevitable typos). All this may even culminate in a playable character sheet.

It should be noted that I am not going to minmaxing builds that have the perfect combination of races, classes and feats. I’m going for what I think is the most fitting/entertaining/creative. 

Peppino Spaghetti:

Race: Variant Human

There is a temptation to make Peppino a half-orc to maximise his tankiness and get access to those sweet sweet racial traits, but Peppino’s appeal is that he is just a guy! A very anxiety riddled, angry, violent middle aged, funny guy. I think human fits him perfectly. Make him a variant human to let us choose an additional proficiency in artisan's tools, specifically cook's utensils, and a feat which I will address later. 

Class(es): Barbarian/ Monk 

Peppino’s build needs to reflect his gameplay - able to take hits, has the tool kit to perform incredible acrobatic feats and speed to overcome just about any terrain or obstacle and has the capacity to deliver an absolute beating on any poor creature standing in his way. You can’t get much better than a Barbarian/Monk multiclass for that.  On the Barbarian side you have an Extra Attack, Fast Movement and  Reckless Attack which as per the description: “you can throw aside all concern for defence to attack with fierce desperation.” On the monk side you’ve got Step of the Wind for dashing around, extra speed if you’re unarmoured (which plays nicely into the Barbarian abilities) and Martial Arts for unarmed strikes with is very much Peppi’s style. And of course, Patient Defense at the start and Evasion later on  which are the perfect taunt equivalents. 

Then there’s the two key abilities of each class that instantly came to mind when I thought of Peppino in the context of D&D. 1) Barbarian Rage. 2) The Monk’s Flurry of Blows.

Look at him go. 

Subclass(es): Barbarian Path of the Ancestral Guardian and Way of the Ascendant Dragon.

I know Path of the Berserker is right there and ticks every box, but hear me out. The class alone is enough to supply the rage that Peppino is well known for, and the Berserker is a very standard option from the PHB. This is a fantasy version of Peppino, not go for something a little more flavourful with our pizza pounding paisano?

Lets give him the barbarian path of the ancestral guardian. Peppino mother-fucking Spaghetti has pasta sauce flowing through his veins. I fully believe that his pizzas are made from a recipe handed down from generation to generation. Authentic, immaculate and impossible to imitate. Peppino’s power comes from the spiritual might of his hot-blooded Italian ancestors and you cannot convince me otherwise. Watch him summon ghostly nonnas wielding rolling pins to battle and tell me that’s not the most fitting and badass thing you ever saw. 

As to what his Monk subclass could be, it took a lot of comparing the published subclasses, and less figuring out what was the most relevant but filtering the completely irrelevant and looking at what was left.  You’ve got subclasses like Way of the Open Palm, Way of Astral Self and the Way of Mercy. And all of these have themes of peace, tranquillity and healing and um...

There’s no way that Peppino fits into those boxes. So what COULD fit? Well we have a theme of cooking going on. Cooking already has this theme of harnessing nature, commanding fire, water and ingredients harvested from the natural world. Could the Way of the Four Elements work? Problem is with that subclass is that it’s sort of not a fun experience unless you heavily house rule it or tweak it through homebrew. Look up the subclass online and most of the chatter around it is focused on fixing it. Additionally, there’s a lot of pausing from doing monk related stuff to fiddle around with spellcasting and that’s not really Peppi’s rush in and hit hard style.  So what did I finally land on? After a lot of thinking I went with Way of the Ascendant Dragon. Dragon’s are iconic monsters and are intrinsically linked with themes of fire, wrath and the natural elements. Plus, dragons in D&D aren’t just mindless monsters, they live for centuries and some even spend years honing magic and mortal crafts. Some we could potentially weave a story here of Peppi’s ancestors somehow being inspired by dragons or being directly granted knowledge of fire and cookery from a dragon in the distant past. OR it was Peppino himself that came into contact with something draconic, there’s a few great flavour options from Fizban's Treasury of Dragons (the source of this monk path), and any one of them could be used. One of them being quote: “You found a scroll written in Draconic that contained inspiring new techniques.“, an old recipe book or scrap of paper for a damn good tomato sauce recipe maybe? 

The abilities of the path also grant monks fit quite nicely from a mechanical standpoint. Draconic Presence helps with intimidation checks, and once Peppi gets going with his dash or snaps the enemies and bosses find him frightening. Plus at 3rd level you get Breath of the Dragon, which can be flavoured to Peppino consuming a devil’s choice spicy pepper. That and the thought of Peppino belching fire in-between mashing foes into paste is very amusing.  !ADDENDUM! I have discovered there’s a 3rd party Barbarian subclass from the Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting called the Path of the Juggernaut. So far I’ve been leaning towards official WotC material, but if you wanted to stat Peppino in such a way that’s more game accurate and focuses purely on his physicality, Juggernaut is a good choice.  Feats: Tavern Brawler. 

Turns absolutely anything you pick up into an improvised weapon, living or material, enemy or friend. He literally uses Gustavo as a thrown projectile at one point. This is the feat for him. 

[world-of-hearts]

Am yearning for Xiao tonight so here are some Modern!Xiao thoughts!

Late night drive with Xiao. He may look like a motorcycle rider (which he is, he learned from his father Zhongli) but he actually drives a sleek black car. It isn't the newest sports car or the newest anything. But it gets the job done and he takes immaculate care of it.

Xiao who, while driving me to the next town over to help a friend move house. He didn't want me to go out with someone a town over with it being winter and the sun already going down. So he decides to drive me over and help out.

Xiao who places his hand on my thigh and rubs his thumb over the skin that is covered by my jeans. He listens to the music on the radio as i sing along and nods his head when i say something and will add his own musings in.

Xiao who, once we get to the house and sees the ice covered stairs. He walks over and holds my hand, helping me up the icy porch as the sun has gone down completely.

Xiao who helps my friend and i disassemble a bed frame, multiple pieces of childrens furniture, and getting then into the bed of the friends truck and some in the trunk of his car.

Xiao who makes sure my friend gets into her truck safely and can drive off of the snow covered lawn before getting back into the car and driving behind her back to town where we both help her get all her stuff into her new place for the night.

Xiao who calls for pizza and wings (wings for Xiao which he orders another batch for me because he knows i'll want some)

Xiao who takes my coat once he realizes that i forgot to take it off as i was doing the actual ordering on the phone because he knows i'm used to doing it for my family so he let's me do it for us too.

Xiao who wraps his arms around my waist from behind and places small kisses on the freckles scattered across my shoulder before whispering soft words of love for only my ears to hear.

Xiao who sits down and watches all my favorite disney princess movies with me.

Xiao whose favorite princess is Tiana.

Xiao who loves candles because he is always reminded of me whenever he sees or smells them because i have one lit at all times.

Xiao who scolds me sternly yet lightly, never raising his voice, because i fell asleep with a candle burning.

Xiao who knows that i hate alcohol because of my childhood.

Xiao who knows that i hate yelling because of childhood.

Xiao who makes a list in secret (not really, it's just in his notes app) of all the experiences i never got as a kid/teen that he is certain he wants to experience with me.

Xiao who introduces me to his father Zhongli and is slightly horrified when Zhongli and I start playfully arguing and only slightly calms when he sees the two of us laughing and swapping viewpoints.

Xiao who decides he really does need to get out just a tiny bit more, if it means that i'll smile more often.

Xiao who looks up the games i talk/have talked about and decides to read up on the lore and characters so that he can talk with me about them.

Xiao who reluctantly starts playing some of those same games when i start getting into some of his hobbies.

Xiao who, when we were still in high school together and just friends, always picked me up from my career training course at the end of the day and drive us to go get some things to make whatever we were craving that day (we were both branching out on what we wanted to eat) and already having a vanilla iced cappuccino for me.

Xiao who, unironically, loves the final fantasy 13 triology and final fantasy 10-2.

Xiao who always plays at least 1 match of Mortal Kombat with me because he remembers i told him about my grandpa loving mortal kombat.

Xiao who always uses my favorite lady (mileena) to whoop my ass....am a kitana main.

Xiao who learns about my two most visited summer spots, both ice cream shops, and decides that we'll go back to my hometown to get some ice cream.

Xiao who, when he sees a spiritual shop in my hometown, which he knows is new from my bemoanment of the lack of them, nods at it and slides my hand in his as he tugs me towards it with a short "c'mon".

Xiao who sees a tarot deck that feels right and buys it in secret as a birthday present for me.

Xiao who sees my ex and holds me a little closer as we walk out of the shop and over to his car.

Xiao who asks softly if now would be a good time for him to meet my family.

Xiao who is nervous but moreso worried for me because he knows that things aren't always great between me and my mother.

Xiao who stops off on the opposite side of town from my childhood home at the park that i always wanted to go to but only ever seen in passing.

Xiao who sees the swing set and knows that that is where i would want to go but worried others would look at me weird.

Xiao who pulls me over to it and takes the swing next to me as the sun starts to set.

Xiao who asks after about an hour if i'm ready yet or if i need more time.

Xiao how ushers me over to the picnic tables to hold me and let me cry.

Xiao who kisses my forehead and rocks me back and forth as i thank him for loving me as much as he does.

Xiao decides now is a good time to take us home and put on a nice warm bath before turning the bedroom tv on to the princess and the frog as we munch on strawberry cheesecake tubs from the local grocery store.

Xiao who braids my hair while the Evangeline song is sang.

Xiao who finds himself singing along under his breath because he knows it's my favorite song.

[brandonwaratah01]

♥️ Exclusive to Public 💚

B r a n d o n W a r a t a h 0 1

“ Once the art scene is ready with the creativity that I’d make, create and do. To have the gallery most likely accessed in person to online via virtual galleries of immaculate detail, refined tonal variations and pin point accuracy of a pazor(s), pencils and other mediums to illustrate subjects to be shown, explained and depicted with poetical sincerity. I’ll invite you on this journey of rarity like gold, diamond and gems with glowing lights refracting and reflecting off the valuable surfaces of amazement and wonder. An experience of unfathomable feelings to those attending the future exhibition to take place before NYE and hopefully into the year, 2025. I wonder if it would be a big turn out. Fingers crossed that you’re able to attend with your family, close friends and acquaintances. It’s how it’s conducted, conceptual synchronicity and visually composed with outstanding efforts that speak volumes in the silence. What would be your expressive emotional reaction(s) after absorbing the atmosphere? Do you feel inspired, invigorated or filled with utmost joy that you’d preach your experience(s) to others in real life, via your cyberspace account(s) if you have and or messaging? I’d love to have the art gallery filled with a hundred percentage full capacity of art audiences to art fanatics. I’d want the imperative command, “Say cheese!” to be spoken by the photographers whilst you could be eating pizza, garlic bread with a glass of white, red and or a beer to share. ”

♥️ - B r a n d o n v.p N g u y e n - 💚

[preaching-to-the-fire]

Preaching to the Fire (HH Adam x OC)

Chapter 4 - Acquaintances

Masterpost (info, tags, index) | [~2 380 words]

This time when the rat demon appears at the door, barely visible behind the tower of pizza boxes they’re carrying, Adam is fully dressed and lying on the bed.

He’ s slipped into the black t-shirt stamped with the golden logo of an artist he doesn’t know and large, black sweatpants the rat demon has given him earlier. Now, he’s lying on the back with his axe in hand, which he’s found beneath the bed. The magic weapon slash instrument is immaculate, unscratched from his battle with Lucifer’s little circus gang. The painful memories play all over again in watermark on the ceiling he’s got his look fixed on while he can’t stop strumming anxiously — random chords really, anything to handle the restlessness in his fingers.

“Ah! I see you’re feeling better,” Valska says, genuinely relieved as they walk in, searching blindly for a spot to put the boxes down.

They know a musician who plays is a healthy musician. Or, at least, a musician who’s slowly getting over their new hellish form.

Adam stops playing, sits up and rests on one elbow. The one eye still working on his mask shoots a buzzing look at Valska, making them jump and almost drop the boxes.

“ Fjandinn ,” they mumble nervously, catching their breath and the pizzas. “That thing is even scarier broken.”

“Fucking finally, bitch, I’m fucking starving,” says Adam with a frown, not paying attention. “You took forever.”

Maybe his voice is a tad more cutting than usual. He’s decided, after his breakdown from earlier, that he can’t keep making a fool of himself and being so fucking obvious in front of the demon who’s known who he was since their first meeting.

For starters, he’s got his mask back and that alone is enough to ease the latent uneasiness and self-consciousness that have been crippling him since he got out alive of that fight. The moment he’s slid the mask on, he’s felt his usual, over-the-top self-confidence come back to him. Now he feels a bit more like himself, and a bit more ready to face the outside world.

He doesn’t bat an eye as he observes the rat demon struggling to pull a chair next to the bed, pile of boxes in one hand before they put it down on the chair and grabs another stool for themself.

“Here you go!” they declare, as they rip the boxes open, revealing pizzas that are approximatively three times the size of her head.

Adam leans over them, eyes gleaming, and instantly his nose fills with the greasy, mouthwatering smell. His stomach makes an unholy noise.

“Fuck YEAH.”

He grabs a whole quarter of one and bites into it. He munches and munches and it seems to Valska he doesn’t even stop to breathe . He’s barely done that takes another full quarter.

Valska grabs a slice of their own and as they slowly take it tot heir mouth, a bit of topping falls as they’re too disturbed by the sight in front of them to focus on their food.

“Mmmmphuck, that shit ish good ,” Adam says, mouth full. No, not says, more like moans , really. “Woooow that pisha ish really good, what the fuck?? It’sh like… the besht I ever had.”

Lips parted in confusion, Valska tilts their head, looking down at the food. “That one?” The good pizzeria was closed actually. This one’s a-okay-- ooooh!” they exclaim suddenly.

Adam stops chewing for the slightest second and the single working eye on his mask flickers at the rat demon, questioning.

“That might be your hellbirth doing that,” they say, one claw against her cheek, pensive. “Newborn sinners experience senses for the first time all over again. It’s been so long I kinda forgot,” she mumbles then.

“Firsht time?” he echoes, biting into another quarter of pizza.

“Yes. It’s like being a baby again,” the rat demon smile s . Then they wince. “No, wait, that’s weird. Anyway what I mean is you’ll remember having experienced certain things in the past, like eating pizza, but it’ll feel like it’s your first time again.”

They take a thoughtful bite into their slice — their first bite, Adam can’t help but notice, dumbfounded, as he gulps down his own and stuffs another quarter in his mouth.

“Shounds fucking dumb,” he shrugs.

And it’s true : he remembers having pizza before, he knows he’s had millions, if not more, but weirdly enough these bites feel like fireworks on his tongue , the sensation and flavours completely new.

“Yes well it’s also fucking serious,” retorts the rat. “It’s not only food, you’ll also rediscover things like being cold, being warm, being hurt . In the next few weeks, everything is going to feel more vivid, more intense.” She swings a dismissive hand around. “Might cause headaches, stuff like that. So. Tell me if you feel weird or something.”

“Weird” is a fucking euphemism for how Adam is feeling right now. He feels other than weird. He feels strange, uncanny. Disconnected. Out of sync, out of tempo. He gulps down another bite, quite furiously this time.

Not even ten minutes later, he’s devoured all three pizzas on his own and even half of Valska’s. Lying on the bed, face up, he lets out a burp like Valska has never heard before.

“Starting to feel just like your ol’ bony self again, pumpkin?” she asks, a knowing smile in her voice.

Adam blinks. He pushes his weight up on one elbow and looks at her with his single working eye. She freezes.

“What the fuck?” he says. “Don’t call me a fucking pumpkin.”

“It’s from--! Nevermind.” Va lska gives a light stomp that can’t be heard in the carpeted floor. She asks again, upset : “ Are you feeling any better is what I meant.”

“Yeah,” Adam shrugs with a stubborn frown even though, really, he still feels like shit. “I won’t be staying too long like this anyway.” He lies back and subconsciously crosses his arms.

“… You understood what I said earlier, right?” questions the rat demon, voice betraying her apprehension.

“Yeah but see, you didn’t understand me.”

He sits back up and frowns at her, smiling joylessly. “ I am The fucking man. Ain’t no way Heaven is going anywhere without me. So, you see, Sera and an army of exorcists will be here for me soon and she’s gonna fix this whole mess for me.”

And he genuinely believes that. As soon as Sera knows he is alive and in Hell, she will get down here to get him. She just couldn’t do without him , the First Man. She needed him. And anyway, if the Old Man knew she’d lost him, He would absolutely trash her.

Adam was indispensable.

“And when she does, I’m gonna pay Lucifer and his rainbow circus one hell of a visit.”

“Wow. Fun times ahead I’m sure,” Valska says with a confused pucker. More seriously : “Who’s Sera?”

“My, uhh… Manager. Sort of,” Adam shrugs.

“Someone in Heaven, then?” insists the rat girl.

“Of course, someone in Heaven,” he retorts, condescending. “You really think I fly down here every Saturday night to hang out?”

“I just don’t remember Lilith ever mentioning a Sera,” shrugs the other.

Adam freezes. Uncrosses his arms.

“Wait. Wait wait wait. You know Lilith?”

“Yes.”

“Lilith as in the Lilith ?”

“Yeah…”

“The First Woman?”

“The very one.”

He thinks for a moment. Blinks. Then stands up.

“Oh for GOD’S SAKE! Fucking really, bitch? First I end up in this hellhole, and the one and only person I run into is one her groupies?? You gotta be KIDDING me!”

“A groupie ?” echoes the rat demon as every hair stand upright on her skin.

Adam doesn’t hear over his own complaint, swinging his hands around.

“I mean OBVIOUSLY, this couldn’t be worse, right? I just had to run into one of Lilith’s bitches — ”

He’s cut off by that sound again, of a mic being plugged.

“LET THESE WORDS ACCIDENTALLY STUMBLE OUT OF THAT CUNT OF A MOUTH YOU GOT ONCE AGAIN AND I SWEAR TO ALL THE DEITIES THAT AREN’T UP THERE, I WILL TEAR YOUR WINGS APART AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT .”

During the split second it takes for Valska to spit those words at him, which blast around the room as if spoken through a mic plugged to an amp that’s been cranked up to way too loud, eight extra tails have appeared behind her, whipping in all directions, her eyes glowing electric red, her two front teeth growing impressively longer and all her hair completely ruffled and floating.

Adam barely has time to recoil or register what’s happening at all as he falls down on the bed; they’re already sitting back down in their chair and are back to their normal self. She coughs lightly, half chuckling, as if self-conscious, and rakes her still abnormally-long claws through her hair.

“ Hæhæ. Sorry. I’m sorry, ” she smiles, lips shaking. “This happens sometimes. Sorry. Won’t happen again. ” She swings a hand in front of her, dismissive, then breathes in deeply, raking her hair some more. “But, hey, for both our sakes , let’s stick to more polite pet names, okay, pumpkin ?”

“ ‘Kay,” Adam lets out, vaguely shaken up. “Don’t get your tail in a twist. Geez.”

Valska lets out a chuckle in a feverish startle and lets their hair fall back in place, darkening their look. Adam waits until it seems like she’s kinda regained her composure and asks:

“How d’you know Lilith then? What are you if you’re not one of her-- eh, fans ,” he ends as they shoot a warning look at him.

“Her producer,” she replies dryly, all playfulness gone. “Well. I used to be, at least. Until she disappeared on us one day, eight years ago, and left the band and all of Hell to rot, ” she says through gritted, sharpened teeth.

Adam’s sole working eye widens. “You? You used to produce Lilith ?”

“Yes, me.” Her tail whips as her ears bend backwards. “How is that so surprising?”

Adam eyes the small rat up and down, her silhouette lost in black, oversized overalls patched with yellow plaid fabric here and there. He's vaguely heard of Lilith's career, but now he starts to understand why she's flown to Heaven.

"No reason," he lets out.

"And she never told you about me? Or the band?" insists the rat, visibly offended, frowning. "Never ?"

Adam raises both hand to his cheeks and exclaim s in a high-pitched voice : "Oh wait! Yes, I think she did! Actually, we used to talk about you all the time when gossiping every fucking afternoon on the fucking phone !" he ends, voice lower and condescending. "What do you fucking think, that I used to call her up to hear Hell’s latest news ? That I came down here for all her concerts?"

He relishes the brief glint of hope that shone in Valska's eyes completely disappear as she crosses her arms and her claws rake the naked skin of her arms under her t-shirt.

"I see."

"Bet y'all music fucking sucked anyway," teases Adam.

"We were the biggest success in Hell’s history!” she argues, her hair ruffled again. "Souls from all over Hell, all Rings, came to see Lilith’s concerts. I didn’t just produce her, I built an empire around her! I served the souls of every tortured, depressed demon in this hellhole to her! Made her the queen she was!” Her tail whips behind her. “My label is so big, I own the soul of every worthless musician out there. From the most insignificant rock star-wannabe to the most famous pop-stars."

"Bet you do," Adam shrugs, unimpressed, teasing.

It drives her crazy and he likes it. He feels his agency is back and, after having been taken in by the rat, he likes to see the power dynamic shiftt into something he's more comfortable with. And hey, he’s had his breakdown in front of them, so it’s only fair he draws one out of her too .

Her eyes glow very briefly like she's about to get really angry again, but suddenly, her tail falls back on the floor, and so does her hair.

"Actually," she says, all resentfulness gone from her voice, back to that poisonous honey. "How would you like to see for yourself?"

Adam shoots a look at her. "See what?"

"The studio," she smiles widely, voice low and enticing. "The place where all of Lilith's career was made, where it was born, where the magic turns real! Then you can judge of it after seeing with your own eyes."

Adam immediately jumps to his feet. "Hell yeah!"

Blissful, Valska jumps up as well. “ Frábært !”

"If I stay in this room one more hour, I'm gonna start throwing up whatever’s in that lava lamp here,” he says, casting a critical glance around the room. “I can feel them pizzas dancing disco in my gut already."

She freezes and he just knows she’s fighting to keep her cool.

“That’s just mean. Everyone has their 70s era,” they say, chin up in an attempt at faking composure.

“Everyone who sucks, sure.”

“Let’s go,” she dismisses. “ Nikulás, my assistant, is probably still working. And take your guitar. Who knows? You might feel inspired, “ she adds.

She heads for the door but, after glancing down at himself, Adam doesn’t follow. “Hey. I ain’t going out in these pants,” he says, critical, crossing arms and lifting his chin up like a wilful child.

The rat girl stops at the door and sighs. “I didn’t know you were a victim of fashion. What d’you want? Jeans? Skirt? Leather?” they raise both hands. “I don’t judge. Whatever floats your boat.”

Adam flashes a wicked smile her way and signs of the devil with one hand. "Leather, bitch!"

“Alright, queen.”

“You just said you wouldn’t judge!”

“Like you’d even care if I did!” she snickers back. “Come. I’ll see what I can find for you.”

He grabs his axe, slides the strap across his chest and follows her, when she suddenly stops and turns to him, causing Adam to almost step on her tail. She observes his face long enough to make him feel uneasy.

“What is it??”

“We’ll get you a new mask. The Two-Face look on this one freaks me out.”

Fjandinn (is) - fuck, shit

Frábært (is) - awesome, cool

[groupelkg]

Elevating Hospitality and Branding: A Tale of Hotel Cleaning Supplies and Private Label Pizza Boxes in Montreal

In the bustling city of Montreal, where the vibrant culture and dynamic business landscape meet, there's a growing emphasis on redefining hospitality and branding. Two essential elements in this narrative are Hotel Cleaning Supplies Montreal and Pizza Boxes Private Labeling Montreal. Let's explore how these seemingly disparate entities weave together to create a tapestry of excellence and innovation.

Embracing Quality: The Importance of Hotel Cleaning Supplies Montreal

In the hospitality industry, cleanliness is paramount. Guests expect nothing less than immaculate environments where every surface sparkles and every corner exudes freshness. This is where Hotel Cleaning Supplies Montreal stepped into the spotlight. With a commitment to quality and hygiene, these supplies ensure that hotels maintain impeccable standards, elevating the guest experience to new heights.

Fostering Hygiene: The Role of Premium Cleaning Solutions

In the realm of hospitality, hygiene isn't just a preference; it's a necessity. From pristine bathrooms to spotless linens, every aspect contributes to the overall impression guests take away. This is why establishments turn to specialized Hotel Cleaning Supplies in Montreal. These solutions are crafted with precision, utilizing cutting-edge formulations to tackle even the toughest stains and germs, ensuring that every guest feels welcomed and valued.

Empowering Brands: The Art of Private Labeling

In a world inundated with options, standing out is essential. Here is where the power of branding really shines. For businesses in Montreal, leveraging Pizza Boxes Private Labeling Montreal offers a unique opportunity to showcase their identity and values. Whether it's a quaint pizzeria tucked away in a corner or a bustling franchise, private labeling adds a touch of exclusivity and authenticity, resonating with customers on a deeper level.

Crafting Identity: Custom Pizza Boxes as Brand Ambassadors

The culinary industry is a very competitive arena, and first impressions are crucial. Beyond the delicious flavors, diners crave an experience that engages all their senses. Enter custom Pizza Boxes, Private Labeling Montreal. These aren't just containers; they're brand ambassadors, carrying the essence of the establishment with every delivery. From sleek designs to vibrant logos, each box tells a story, inviting customers to become part of something extraordinary.

Unveiling Excellence: The Fusion of Hospitality and Branding in Montreal

As the heartbeat of Quebec, Montreal pulsates with energy and innovation. It's a city where tradition meets modernity and where hospitality seamlessly intertwines with branding. At the forefront of this synergy are Hotel Cleaning Supplies Montreal and Pizza Boxes Private Labeling Montreal. Together, they exemplify the commitment to excellence and the pursuit of perfection that defines Montreal's business landscape.

In the journey of hospitality and branding, every detail matters. At Groupelkg.com, we understand the significance of quality and distinction. Specializing in Hotel Cleaning Supplies Montreal and Pizza Boxes Private Labeling Montreal, we're committed to helping businesses elevate their standards and leave a lasting impression. Join us in redefining excellence in Montreal and beyond. Visit Groupelkg.com today and embark on a journey of unparalleled quality and innovation.

Our website is a great place to start for more information.

Online Restaurant Supply Store Montreal

Private Label Boxes Wholesale Montreal

[claireinnc]

Santa Barbara and Santa Monica

After leaving Pismo, we headed to Solvang a beautiful Dutch village, just 45 minutes from Santa Barbara. It was founded by Danish immigrants back in 1911. It has wonderful architecture, an actual windmill - of course - and great coffee shops. We arrived mid morning in time to sample their cakes and coffee - our ritual!

Our next stop was Santa Barbara. This turned out to be one of our favourite places on our journey. It is a beautiful beach front city with mountains as the backdrop and a collection of Mediterranean style white buildings with red roof tiles. There are plenty of great restaurants, boutiques and activities to entertain. A beautiful main street stretches down to the beach front with it's old wooden pier and walking path.

We took time to explore the old Courthouse which gave us a great view over the city and provided some relief from the hot weather. Then it was time for lunch in an alley cafe off the main street. We strolled down to the beach after lunch to enjoy the short pier walk and a very welcome ice cream. With weary legs, it was a real treat to find that we could board the free tram back to our car park. It was a short visit to this beautiful city, but such a lovely experience.

Once back in our car, we made our way to Santa Monica to complete our 450 mile scenic trip. This was our final destination and our drop off point for our hire car. The route there was along the coast, passing Malibu beach and various other small beaches. As we approached Santa Monica, the traffic increased and a sense of chaos definitely crept in. Fortunately our Airbnb was located in a fairly quiet residential area which we were grateful for. We unloaded our bags and then headed straight out to drop the rental car off - just a ten minute drive away.

We were fortunate to have a couple of restaurants just round the corner and so dinner was at a local pizza place. As expected, it was not cheap, but it was good!

Our first full day was spent on a bike tour of Los Angeles. It was fantastic! We joined a small group with an entertaining guide who was great at informing and humouring us at the same time.

We visited Beverley Hills - passing by various celebrities houses including the property where Michael Jackson sadly passed. This was an absolutely beautiful neighbourhood as to be expected. Manicured gardens, immaculate streets and palace style homes behind secure fencing and camouflaged with hedging and trees. We also had a quick stop at Belair neighbourhood.

We cycled to Venice Beach for dinner and sat near the beach watching the multitude of cyclists, skaters, walkers and other entertaining folk pass by on the boardwalk which stretches for miles along the beach.

A short way behind the beach, we were surprised to find the beautiful canals after which the area is named. A collection of quiet, still canals built in 1905 and lined with small properties adds a real beauty to this area. It was a complete contrast to the busy beach front.

Our last day was spent hiking to see the Hollywood sign and visiting the Griffith Observatory. We caught an Uber as the public transport was going to take an hour and a half. On arrival, we first ate lunch in the Observatory cafe. It was. a lot busier in the area than I expected.

The Observatory is situated on the south facing slope of Mount Hollywood and is a popular film location. We didn't spend much time in the observatory as our main objective was to complete a hike and see the sign.

The Hollywood sign was erected in 1923 as an advertisement ploy, but due to its popularity, it was decided to leave it there. It was replaced in 1978 with a steel structure to increase it's durability.

It was great hike and fantastic to see this area of Los Angeles. Despite the scorching hot weather and getting slightly lost, we really enjoyed the day and the opportunity to see this beautiful part of LOs Angeles.

In the evening, we got bus to downtown Santa Monica to stroll around and have dinner. We arrived around 6pm and were totally shocked by how busy the pier and the beach were. Santa Monica pier is a popular tourist attraction and they were definitely out in force. It wasn't the prettiest of sites and we didn't stay long. Crowds are not our scene and this area was not the Santa Monica I envisioned.

The pier is pretty iconic and I'm glad we actually visited. It was definitely a contrast to the hiking area earlier in the day. It was pleasant to just walk a little further along the coast for an evening stroll before heading back for the night.

And so our trip came to an end. A super journey along a beautiful coastline from San Francisco to Los Angeles, via a stunning National Park, with interesting and varied stops along the way. Great sights and fun experiences mixed with lots of singing in the car, interesting food stops, cool Airbnb's and a great travelling companion - all in all a very memorable trip.

[honeydewey]

Go big…or go BIGGER, baby✨🙌🏽✨ I was on the phone with my momma so I asked her why I feel so much more unapologetic creative freedom with my wardrobe in Florida than back home. She said “Your best self really comes out when you’re in a place that makes you feel full of love and light.” Homegirl really gets me. I took that as my sign that this year needs to be packed full of sunshine, #creativework, and lots of miles traveled. If anyone needs me, I’m either gonna be booked with clients, reading books, or bookin’ @airbnb ‘s. 🏠 ••• FACE: @charlottetilbury • Hollywood Flawless Filter Shade 1, Flawless Airbrush Setting Spray @tartecosmetics • Shape Tape Glow Wand @diorbeauty • Backstage Face & Body Bronzer @fentybeauty • FULL FRONTAL VOLUME Mascara @urbandecaycosmetics • Brow Blade in Gingersnap @anastasiabeverlyhills • Brow Freeze Gel @revlon • Skin Lights Daybreak Glimmer @rarebeauty • With Gratitude, Dewy Lip Balm in Empathy ••• 2 MUST EXPERIENCE places in FL— @leaderboardarcade in Jacksonville for the GREATEST pizza bites & @sparkyslanding in Marathon for the happiest happy hour in the world! Shrimp, Wings, and the vibes are ✨immaculate✨! ••• #photodump #travelingartist #mrsworldwide #vintagesoul #antiquedealers #everydaymakeup #travelingram #floridafinds #curvymodel #worldwanderer #makeupartistlife #bridalmakeupartist #tinytattooartist #permanentcosmetictrainer (at Saint Petersburg, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqYyNoouQMT/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[lunzoic]

I can add a few possibly less well-known and comparatively bite-sized games that mostly fit the "story driven" and "games that feel like an experience" criteria.

A Short Hike - Short narrative game with animal folk where you... go on a hike! You gain more abilities and learn more about your character's emotions and backstory as you go, and get some touching moments.

Starfetchers - Might not be the vibe for everyone since this one's heavy on the black comedy and Hotline Miami style violence, but it's an incredibly stylish teen crime romp that doesn't take itself too seriously, has immaculate music choice, and has gender-ambiguous protagonists. Currently only the first chapter is released, but it's free!

Knock Knock - To say that this tense horror game featuring mythological spirits invading your house is enigmatic AF would be an understatement. But even what you can gleam from a surface-level playthrough is poetic, haunting, heartbreaking, and very unique.

Tales from Off-Peak City - OK my esoteric tastes have definitely become more apparent the further down this list I go, but this is a trippy narrative-driven game in which you make and deliver pizzas to very strange citizens in a very weird city. Also you're actually a secret agent trying to steal a saxophone. All the toppings make funny music as you put them onto the pizzas. Each person has an insanely exhaustive dialogue list to express their feelings on exactly how you made their pizza. It may not instill many emotions besides 'bafflement' or 'joy at the absurd' but sometimes that's the emotion you wanted today.

By the way I'm looking for very specific games and your help is appreciated! Please let me know if you know a game which has one or several of the following criteria:

- Games that are overall poetic and story-driven

- Games about grief, mourning and/or depression, anxiety

- Games that feel like an experience and that you wish you'd be able to delete your memory to play again because you'll never feel the same

- Games that made you cry

[enbee-ai]

I'm never getting over how confused people get over eating a whole pizza

[gubler-me-up]

Lead the Way

Request: Hey hey can you please do a fic (if you’re taking requests Rn) of sub!spencer not having a lot of experience but getting really riled that he’s feeling the reader up and he gets super into it. Just like super smutty and if you could include thigh riding that’d be immaculate FANK YOU

A/N: Thank you for the request, anon! We do love a sub!spencer fic! I included thigh riding just for you 😘 Hope you enjoy and happy reading!

Couple: Sub!Spencer/Dom!reader

Category: Smut

Content warning: Unprotected sex, penetrative sex, fingering, clitoral stimulation, thigh riding, swearing, creampie

Word count: 2.3k

——————–

You laid peacefully on the couch, flipping through the pages of a book you picked up on your way home. The cover was far too eye-catching for you to ignore it in the store window. It was pretty interesting for the most part, but you were only buying time until Spencer got himself into his comfortable house clothes. He had just come home from a long Friday shift, so you suggested you two stay in for the night, watch a movie, and order pizza.

You heard the bedroom door open, so you peaked your eyes up to see Spencer in his pink boxer briefs and a white t-shirt. You smirked behind your book as you look him up and down. You were curious as to why he hadn’t taken a shower yet, but you weren’t mad seeing him nearly naked.

“This your new look?” You giggled.

He looked down at himself and then back up at you with a flustered smile. He sheepishly walked over to you and plopped himself down on the couch. You bent your knees to give him more space to move closer to you which he did. He placed his hand on your thigh as he looked at you with his classic ‘sorry’ look. You inched your book down to reveal how confused you were about why he looked as if he did something bad.

“You know, if you’re hungry, you can go ahead and order the pizza. I had to take a work call, so I haven’t even showered yet, but I feel bad having you wait for me,” he explained.

“Is that why you look as if you just broke my favourite vase?” You asked.

“You don’t have a favourite vase,” he said.

“I don’t, but if I did, it looks as if you broke it,” you giggled.

He chuckled as he rubbed your thigh. You doubted he realized how his hand caressing your thigh was the start down a long road of pleasure. You smirked at him as you looked back down at the page you were on in your book.

“Sorry for interrupting you reading too, but I didn’t want you to be hungry,” he said.

“Spence, I can order the pizza now and by the time you’re out the shower, it’ll be nice and fresh for the both of us to indulge in. Sound like a plan, worrywart?” You asked.

He chuckled. “It’s a plan. What are you reading by the way?”

You peaked back up to him to see the curiosity in his face as he leaned in to examine the book cover closely. His hand was still caressing your thigh, inching more and more down as he stroked it. You looked back down at your book, thinking of how bad you wanted to be on top of him, so he could feel what he really wanted, but was too shy to initiate.

“For someone who’s worried I’m going to starve to death, you sure are taking your sweet time getting to the bathroom to shower,” you said.

He immediately let go of your thigh, which caused you to peak up. You dropped your book away from your face just in time to see his awkward smile appear. You found it quite adorable how even after three months of dating, he seemed very unsure if he was supposed to touch you or be so close to you without permission. You’d give him all the permission he ever wanted any day.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, I-I should go,” he said.

Before he had the chance to get up, you sat up and placed your hand on his chest. He turned to look at you to see the mischievous smirk on your face before you guided him to lay on the couch. He followed the guidance of your hand with no questions asked.

As he laid there, you tossed your book onto the coffee table and then got up. You looked him in his questionable eyes that lit up as soon as he saw you take off your shorts. You bit your bottom lip as you kicked your shorts to the side.

You walked up to the couch and then straddled yourself on top of his thighs. You caressed your finger down his lips as he looked at you, entranced by seductive you were. You felt him gently caressing your thighs, but he didn’t take his doe eyes off of you.

“Guess we’re matching now, huh?” You said.

“Uh, um, y-yeah,” he stuttered.

You smirked. “Do you not want us to match? If not, I can always do this.”

You then grabbed onto your shirt and pulled it off, revealing your braless breasts. When you popped your shirt off your head, you giggled as you saw Spencer’s mouth slightly gaped open. You tossed your shirt to the ground before planting your hands on Spencer’s chest.

“Better?” You asked.

“I, um, I…You look g-great,” he stuttered.

You smirked. “I can be greater.”

You smirked as you started to move yourself against his thighs. You felt his hands get excessively happy. He ran them up your thigh until he reached your waist and then ran them back down before repeating.

You watched as he struggled to find where to focus his attention. He went from looking at you riding his thigh, to your breasts jiggling, to your face all within five seconds. You chuckled as you grabbed his jaw to make him focus on your face.

“If you can’t focus on one thing, just look at me and feel the rest,” you suggested.

“Feel the rest? Like this?”

You felt his hands slowly caress up your torso until they were both on each of your breasts. You bit your bottom lip and nodded your head to encourage him to touch you as his hands lingered on your breasts. He stared deep into your eyes before taking a slow, calming breath. He gently massaged your breasts which pleased you immensely.

However, it didn’t distract you from riding his thigh until his dick was hard enough. You felt yourself getting severely wet the more you moved yourself up and down his thigh, inching yourself closer to his dick with each move. He watched your body move on him with anticipation in his eyes. You could even feel it in the way he started to massage your breasts rougher and urgently.

You moved your hips up so you were sitting on top of his bulge. He moaned softly as he felt how warm and wet you were even through his underwear. You slowly rocked your hips to tease him a bit more.

“Do you want more of me?” You asked.

“Yes, always,” he said.

“Then show it for me, baby,” you said.

Every time you encouraged him to take the ropes, he was usually gentle, verging on hesitant to. However, you were thrown off by him leaning up and attacking you with a feverish kiss on your lips as he wrapped his arms around you, so you two were chest to chest.

He caressed his hands tenderly up and down your back. You grabbed his face to keep his lips close to you. You didn’t want him to stop his kisses or touches any time soon. His hands soon found their way to your ass. You gasped in surprise as he squeezed it with a viciousness you had never felt him use on you before.

“Handsy aren’t we?” You chuckled as you bit your bottom lip.

“I hope I’m not doing too much,” he said.

You shook your head. “I want you to do even more.”

He flipped the script on you in a flash. Your eyes widened with excitement as he pushed you down onto the couch. He positioned himself on top of you before going in for a kiss on your deprived lips. You felt as his hands run down your body like a perfect wave. You could just sense he found his element and wanted to explore it with you more. You were starting to think he had an ulterior motive when he was not-so-innocently caressing your thigh.

One of his hands found its home on your breast, gently massaging it and using his thumb to rub your nipple. He kissed down your neck to free your mouth to moan freely. Your moans intensified to a new octave when his other hand found its home underneath your underwear. He rubbed his fingers between your soaked slit which sent you into another dimension.

“Oh my God, baby. That’s right, fucking play with my pussy,” you moaned.

“Is it okay if I-”

“Yes, yes,” you answered.

You already knew what he was going to ask and you were all for it. You just wanted him to continue going for it without hesitating. He eased up to look at you, licking his lips at the sight of how much you needed him. He slowly inserted two fingers into you.

“Keep going, keep going,” you begged.

He pushed them up further until he hit your sweet spot. It didn’t take a genius to figure out from the way you screamed that he was stroking your g-spot. A smile formed on his face when he saw how happy you were from his touch. He started to stroke you at a steady pace to make sure you continuously felt pleased from his touch.

You tilted your head back and closed your eyes as you trembled from his touch. His fingers were so commanding yet gentle. You had no idea why he never took lead more often when he had all the chops to rock your world without you interfering.

He leaned down to kiss you, which you embraced with no problem. He leaned away to briefly look at you before peppering lips with light kisses as you moaned. From the brief look you got of his eyes, you could tell he lusted after you. He wanted to go further and had the control to do so.

“How about we get closer?” He whispered.

He then leaned back in to make out with you as he pulled his fingers out of you. His hands couldn’t get enough of just feeling your naked body. They found their way back to your thighs and caressed up to your hips. He then leaned up to remove his underwear, revealing his huge boner to you.

He looked at you with a knowing smirk on his face before he leaned back down to kiss you. He definitely knew what he was doing now. He moved his kisses onto your neck as he held your legs in place. Your hands grabbed onto his back as you let out a ferocious moan as you felt him thrust his dick into you.

“Is that what you like?” He asked.

“Yes, yes,” you shrieked.

“How about this?” He asked.

He then increased his speed and then slowly decreased it as he went deeper into you. You could barely form a sentence to explain how amazing he felt inside of you. He even found a rhythm that made both of you feel amazing. You needed him to take charge more often after this if this is what he was withholding from you.

He leaned up and moved your legs further back. Your moans intensified as the angle change made his strokes feel even better. He watched you carefully as you squirmed under his touch and he couldn’t help smirking at you.

“You look beautiful,” he moaned.

“And you feel beautiful,” you moaned.

He then switched up his pace to only give you slow, deep strokes. He watched as you bit your bottom lip and looked down at his dick going in and out of you. It was hard not to feel an orgasm coming along after how much care he put in to make sure you felt overly satisfied with his performance. You would give him a five-star rating on Yelp if you could.

To certify his performance, he caressed his hand down your thigh towards your clit. He placed his thumb on it and slowly, but effectively circled it. You screamed as you tilted your head back, feeling your orgasm inch closer and closer.

“Is it bad that I’m going to cum soon?” He asked.

“No, no, not at all,” you moaned.

However, you beat him to the punch as you felt the flutter in your vagina explode. You tilted your head back and let out a scream that could pierce ears. You felt all your muscles relax and the only thing you could feel was the motion of Spencer slowly thrusting into you.

You felt his hand on your thigh hold onto it tight as his moans started to become more erratic. You soon felt his cum spill out in you before he pulled out. You immediately grabbed his arm to yank him down. You pulled him in close, so you could give him the most passionate, gracious kiss you could ever give someone like him. You were starting to think the little shy boy you fell in love with wasn’t as shy as he seemed.

As you pulled away from him, you could see how pink his cheeks turned from the kiss. You giggled and couldn’t help fall in love with him all over again from the admiration he had for you in his eyes. Even if he was a real tiger in bed, he was always going to be your innocent lamb in some aspects.

“Are you still hungry? We should order the pizza if so,” he said.

“I don’t think I’m hungry for pizza anymore,” you said.

He raised a questionable eyebrow, but once you pulled him in for another kiss, he understood what you meant. His hands caressed your sides as you two passionately made out with each other. If round two was anything like round one, you two might just skip out on eating entirely for the night.

—–

MASTERLIST

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection @slutforthegubes @pinkdiamond1016 @spencerreidsthings @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @slutforsr @bxtchboy69 @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @agentadhd @fanofalltheficsx @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @dinsprettygirl @multixfandomwriter @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @laneybobeczko-g @littlewierdalien @cynbx @calm-and-doctor @muffin-cup @jessalyn-jpeg @princesssmooshie @solitarypeachh @spensual​ @gubler-me-swallow-me @reidsbookclub @isabellasimps @doctorspenceryeet @spencers-dria @sleep-all-day-and-all-night @sydneekomspacekru @sassymoon

[radiorenjun]

kitchen frolics || lee jeno

➶ pairing: lee jeno x reader

➶ genre: fluff, crack, romance, twitch streamer!au, (slight)YouTuber!au, non idol!au, college!au, established relationship

➶ word count: 14.8k

➶ synopsis: you and your boyfriend, Jeno, decided to do a Christmas cooking live stream on twitch with no cooking experience whatsoever. It's safe to say you two were just two loud, idiotic simps obnoxiously trying to cook with 6k people tells you say to do.

➶ warnings: swearing, angst if you squint, absolute clownery, jeno being a funny boyfriend, inaccurate recipe I found online, y/n accidentally inhaled yeast?

“Babe!” Jeno shouted, adjusting the camera in front of him before checking his phone for the time. “I’m coming! I’m coming hold up! You can start without me for a bit!” you exclaimed from the bathroom, finishing the final touches of your makeup. 

“Alright then!” he responded, opening the live stream on his twitch account. Typing ‘Kitchen Frolics’ as the name of the live stream before pressing the spacebar to start the live with a click of his tongue. He waited and started staring at the screen as he watched the view count increase on the screen in a matter of a few seconds.

He let out a charming smile as the chat started flooding with greetings and calls of his name in caps lock or a large amount of emojis. “Hey everyone!” He greeted, leaning back and away from the camera so that his viewers could see his whole form as he clapped his hands together enthusiastically. 

“It’s lovely to see you all on this lovely day!” he grinned, rubbing his hands together before pausing for a small moment to replay his words. “Fuck, did I just say ‘lovely’ twice?” he laughed lightly to himself.

Jeno leaned his arm on the counter beside the laptop, taking a moment to make sure he was still in the camera’s view before leaning his head down to read the comments flooding through the chat box. “‘Jeno, you look so tall’,” he read, squinting his eyes to read the small text on the corner of his screen. 

“Oh, well thank you. I’m on my journey of being taller than Jisung,” he joked, looking around bashfully to cover up how flustered he felt at reading the comment. He examined the clean kitchen counter and adjusted the camera he set up so it can record his hands mixing like in those Tasty cooking videos on youtube.

“Anyways, not many of you know this. But I am an extremely talented cook. I’m a professional chef! Like, my cooking skill is at a professional level, okay? Gordon Ramsay complimented on my cooking skills multiple times in my dms, the man practically looks up to me,” Jeno said in an exaggerated tone, picking up an opened can of coke and pulling it to his lips. “So, me and y/n were bored and we decided to do a live stream today,” Jeno clears his throat, putting the can down on the counter behind him.

“So today, we’re going to cook! Using the finest ingredients and the finest cooking utensils that I could gather from my kitchen,” Jeno then grabbed a large wooden spoon behind him, waving it from the camera with a proud expression on his face. He chuckled when his eyes scanned the chat for a moment, people commenting random emojis and sarcastic replies rapidly filling the chat box. “What? You guys don’t believe me? The audacity!” Jeno placed a hand on his heart, pouting like a wounded puppy.

“Stop being so dramatic. Quite frankly, even I don’t believe you.” You snickered, walking into the kitchen as you tied the white apron around your waist. “Hello to everyone in the chat!” you waved at the camera eagerly, watching as people spam the chat box with your name. “You’re so mean. You know very well my cooking expertise is very much immaculate,” Jeno whined, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pressed his body to your side, jutting his bottom lip.

You chuckled, rolling your eyes as you pushed your boyfriend’s face away with your palm. “You’re such a crybaby. No PDA in the livestream, you simp.” You laughed, pinching both of his cheeks as he glared at you, brows furrowed cutely. “Whatever,” Jeno rolled his eyes at you, retracting his arms from your waist to look back at the camera, attempting to conceal the blush on the tips of his ears and cheeks when his eyes darted to the chat box on his laptop screen which was practically filled with people gushing how cute you two were. 

“Anyways, what are we doing today my love?” You asked, as if he hadn’t told you this a couple hours before you started the live stream. You leaned your elbow against his shoulder, letting your arm limp over his chest casually as you stared at the camera with a wide smile. “We’re cooking today, Y/n!” Jeno smiled at the camera, placing his arm back around your waist. “And what are we cooking exactly, Jen?” you asked again, not tearing your eyes away from the camera lense.

“Since it’s going to be Christmas very soon, I decided that we should cook something that could fit the occasion,” Jeno exclaimed, watching as people spammed the chat box with guesses of food relating to the holiday. “Which is?” you mused, stretching out the vowels to tease your viewers a bit. You watched as the view count increased with every passing minute. “Pizza!” He cheered, giving the camera enthusiastic jazz hands, ignoring how his words made you furrow your brows, feeling equally as confused as the viewers.

“Wait what? I thought we were making those chocolate balls on tik tok?” you furrowed your brows pulling away from your boyfriend to glare at him with a perplexed expression. “Yeah, we were. But then, I realise we got to add some spice to this live stream and some originality,” Jeno grinned mischievously, causing you to pucker your lips in disappointment. “But, how is pizza even related to Christmas?” you asked once again. “Because I said so,” your boyfriend stuck his tongue out teasingly.

You let out a dramatic sigh, looking down at your cat slippers before letting out loud sniffles to show how distraught you were over the sudden change of plans. “Aw, man. I was hoping to make some hot chocolate. Can I get an F in the chat for the chocolate balls we’ve never had?” you exclaimed dramatically, putting a hand on your chest and raising the other as if you were making some sort of pledge as you looked at the chat box, watching as it blew up with a bunch of Fs.

“Thank you, everyone,” you wiped an invisible tear from your cheek, ignoring your boyfriend who rolled his eyes at your dramatic actions. “Shut up, babe. Anyways, before we waste any time, let’s get started!” Jeno rubbed his hands together, picking up a piece of paper in his hands which was a hand written recipe he probably found online. “I got the recipe from some random website, I’ll send the link to the recipe in the discord chat after the stream if you guys want,” he said, showing you the recipe in his hands.

“Well, this is going to get really messy. Are you sure Jaemin won’t mind us trashing the kitchen?” you asked, looking up at him with a raised brow. Jaemin was Jeno’s roommate who was an excellent cook. You couldn’t even count how many times he would kick you out of the kitchen to prevent you from eating any snacks whenever he was cooking something. Therefore, he definitely wouldn’t hesitate to ban the two of you from the kitchen if you make a huge mess.

“Oh come on, Jaemin is in his room editing his latest video. Even if we do manage to make a huge mess, we should be able to clean up before he finishes. What’s the worst thing that could happen, really?” Jeno chuckled, shrugging simply. 

“YANGYANGsImp has donated $4! Says ‘Famous last words’” the speech bot said monotonously. 

You let out a loud laugh, clapping your hands. “We’ll see, then” Jeno huffed, putting his hands on his hips. “Now, how do we get started on the pizza dough?” he asked, leaning over you to look at the laptop screen. You furrowed your brows once again, turning your head to your boyfriend to give him a deadpan expression. “We have instructions! Why are you asking them?” you asked with a laugh, causing Jeno to snicker.

“Listen, I only have the recipe written down. Not the whole ass instructions, I’m too lazy to do that.” Jeno waved it off, eyeing the chat carefully to see if anyone has given you information. “This isn’t a handwritten essay, Jeno. We have a printer,” you chuckled. “Hush, y/n,” he puts a finger to your lips, silencing you in an instant which makes you sigh heavily. “Okay, so. It says here that we need to boil some water,” he read, getting a large cup from the dispenser. 

“I love how you didn’t hesitate to fill up a random cup with water just because someone told you to,” you snickered, looking at the camera with a hand on your hip before going back to read the comments in the chat. “Are you sure that’s even remotely correct?” you asked, turning to see Jeno coming towards you with a jug of warm water in his hands. “Beats me. Y/n, come help me pour the water to this huge ass cup,” Jeno ordered, earning a nod from you as you pulled out a large cup from the cupboard and watched as Jeno poured some water into it.

Jeno was a little bit clumsy so it was safe to say he spilled more than ‘a little’ water. 

“Shit! It got on the fucking notes!” your boyfriend cursed, pulling away to put the jug back in the sink, ignoring your laughs as you waved your hand in front of the slightly wet paper in an attempt to dry it. “How did that even happen?” you giggled, blowing on the piece of paper as the chat started calling Jeno ‘an adorable klutz’. “Ah, shit.” Jeno wiped his hands against the fabric of his sweatpants. “They say it’s supposed to be two cups. That’s about the size of two cups right?” he asked, rolling the sleeves of his hoodie up his arms.

“I don’t know. Suddenly I’m Jared,19.” you joked, earning a soft flick to your forehead. “Dumbass. Jared 19 can’t read, not count.” he snickered, picking up the notes from your hand, cringing at the feeling of the wet paper in between his fingers. “Okay so, it says here that we should add a tablespoon of sugar.” he read aloud, pointing at the paper to show you and then proceeding to show the camera his notes. 

“I didn’t know pizza had sugar in it,” you mumbled, walking over to the drawers to find the measuring tools. “I guess we learn something new everyday,” Jeno shrugged, watching you bring over some measuring spoons and lay them on the counter in front of the camera. “Wait, so which is which?” you asked, picking up the measuring spoons that were stuck together. “A tablespoon is for eating right? Just pick the one you usually use to eat,” Jeno shrugged, looking through the chat box.

“I don’t think I’ve ever eaten with such spherical spoons before, Jeno,” you commented with a small giggle. Jeno sighed, grabbing the measuring tools from your grasp to examine them himself. “This just proves my point even more. I have immaculate cooking skills, indeed,” he boasted, pulling out what seems to be the biggest measuring tool you had given him. You furrowed your brows at this, “wait, are you sure that’s a tablespoon?” you asked.

“Well it has a number one in the middle here,” Jeno pointed at the inner part of the measuring tool, showing you the small number printed on the plastic. “That seems like a lot for a table spoon,” you mumbled watching as Jeno shook the powdery substance into the measuring tool. “I didn’t know pizza had this much sugar,” you added on. “You didn’t know pizza had sugar to begin with, y/n,” Jeno deadpanned, walking over to the cup of warm water.

Before he could pour it, your eyes wandered to the screen of your laptop only to widen your eyes at the amount of people telling you to stop. “Wait, Jeno. Why are they saying stop?” you exclaim, putting a hand on his arm to halt him from doing anything else. Jeno let out a noise of confusion, turning his head to the screen as well as he furrowed his brows to read the small text. “Wait, what’s going on? What did we do wrong? Why is everybody telling us to stop?” Jeno asked, eyes scanning the chat room to see if anyone was pointing out what you were doing wrong.

“Listen, you guys aren’t the one risking your lives sneaking into Jaemin’s territory here okay? You’re not the one putting your lives on the line just to cook a pizza,” Jeno huffed, waving a wooden spoon at the camera with a pouting frown on his lips as you scanned through the chat box. “This is a very futile attempt of being the next Gordon Ramsay,” Jeno laughed, turning his head at you.

Then it hits you like a truck.

“Jeno! I swear we’re absolute fucking morons. That is not a tablespoon,” you let out a loud laugh, taking the other measuring spoons into your hands as Jeno let out a small ‘oh’, laughing along with you. “Wait a sec, is this a cup?” he exclaimed, finally realising his mistake as he examined the measuring tool which he had now placed on the counter in front of you. “Oh shit, it is a cup! Whoopsie! Our bad! Our bad!” you laughed, showing him an actual tablespoon which was about 4 times smaller than the cup. You both started laughing at your own stupidity, putting a tablespoon of sugar into the warm water.

“Wait, let’s add a little more,” you grinned, picking up an eighth of a tablespoon of sugar and dunking it in with no hesitation. “Babe, no don’t-” Jeno wasn’t able to stop you before dumping the sugar into the water. “We’re going to have really sweet pizza, huh?” he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he let out a soft laugh. 

“Sweet like you,” you winked, causing your boyfriend to roll his eyes at you. “What did you say about the no PDA on live streams, again?” Jeno’s lips quirked up into a small smirk before shaking his head profusely at you. “Alright dumbass, let’s just keep going with this.” you both snickered at each other before stirring the sugar until it dissolves. 

“Okay, what’s next-” Jeno clicked his tongue, leaning to the screen of your laptop before you decided to cut him off. “Jeno.” you called out, seeming lost in thought. “Yeah?” he hummed, turning to you for a split second before scanning his eyes through the chat box. “Babe, have you washed your hands?” you asked in a rather hesitant voice, turning to him slowly and eerily. Jeno opened his mouth to respond before furrowing his brows in thought as if to say ‘did I?’

He let out a loud dramatic gasp before turning to the sink. “Shit, right! Oh fuck, I’m sorry!” he rambled in a panicked tone, eliciting another laugh from you as you watch him frantically wash his hands. The chat box was soon filled with Jeno’s name in caps lock, either laughing or clowning at him for saying how he was ‘a professional chef’ but he still forgot to wash his hands. “Oh my god, so all this time you’ve been touching these ingredients with your filthy hands,” you wheezed, hitting the counter as you laughed. “And to think that this global pandemic was actually going to teach us the importance of washing our hands,” you laughed even harder. 

“Sorry, sorry! I’m sorry. My hands are squeaky clean now! I swear I have not contaminated the water with my hands!” Jeno laughs, wiping his hands against the fabric of his black hoodie, pushing his glasses up to his nose before showing his slightly wet hand. “I assure you, Jeno’s restaurant is cleaner than my reputation!” Jeno puts his hands together as an apology, staring at the camera with his puppy dog eyes. “Great hygiene comes with great pizza,” you snickered, earning a death glare from the taller boy standing beside you, his lips forming an angry pout. 

“Watch me get cancelled for forgetting to wash my hands,” Jeno puts his hand on his hip, chuckling at you. “Rest in peace your reputation, then. May covid-19 graciously carry you to the afterlife,” you waved him off without batting an eye, laughing hard after a few seconds of silence. “Go away,” Jeno snorted, pushing you out of the camera view gently as you both giggled. 

“Jeno, we just started and you can already see how terrible this is going,” you commented with a soft snort. Jeno let out a light laugh of his own as he walked away to grab the yeast from the cabinet. “I think this wouldn’t be so bad if my girlfriend was actually helping!” he retorted, closing the door with an accusatory finger at you. “Hey, I’m actually helping!” you exclaimed with wide eyes before looking at the ingredient list he wrote. “Look! Two tablespoons of yeast! I’m definitely helping. Right, chat?” you turned to the camera with a proud grin, only to be faced with a bunch of ‘no’s or ‘whatever you say, y/n.’

“I love how they’re agreeing with me,” he snickered, pointing at the laptop screen. “Lovethe90s has donated $2! Says ‘y/n, we love you but so far, you’ve just been laughing at Jeno’,” the speech bot said, causing Jeno to laugh even more as he watched your jaw drop to the floor. “I love how none of you are taking my side. This is clearly favoritism,” you commented with a sad nod before feeling Jeno wrap an arm around your waist lovingly. 

“It’s okay, boo. You’re still my girlfriend, no matter how unhelpful you are.” Jeno giggled, nuzzling his head against yours as you frowned at the camera. “That’s good to know,” you mumbled before smacking him on the chest and pushing him off of you. “Anyways, where were we?” Jeno rolled his eyes at you, opening the packet of yeast in his hands. “So two tablespoons of this?” he asked, looking up at you for confirmation. 

“That’s what your ingredient list says,” you shrugged, showing him the now crumpled paper. He furrowed his brows, adjusting his glasses before shrugging. “Two tablespoons of yeast it is, then,” he chuckled, handing you the yeast and watching you scoop out the powdery substance into the large cup. You coughed, scrunching your face before turning away from the camera. “Oh fuck, I think I accidentally inhaled it,” you groaned, ignoring your laughing boyfriend as you went out of the camera view to grab yourself a glass of water.

“You okay, babe?” Jeno called out, turning his head to look at you with slight concern. You coughed, feeling the sting up your nose as you walked back into the camera with teary eyes, groaning as Jeno continued to laugh at your suffering. “Next is… Mixing!” Jeno exclaimed, ignoring how you continued your coughing fit behind him. “Babe, can you hand me something to mix?” he turned to you, watching you glare at him with the most angriest look you could muster. 

“Fine,” you croaked, opening the drawer in front of you before taking out a wooden spatula and handing it to him. “Thank you!” he squeaked, grabbing the spatula from you oh-so-casually before stirring the mixture in the cup. “Now, we’re going to mix all this up until it’s thoroughly combined and incorporated,” Jeno exclaimed as you finally walked over to him, watching as your silly boyfriend continued to stir the yeast with (supposedly Jaemin’s favourite) wooden spatula.

“Just a word of warning, we’re definitely going to get banned from the kitchen if Jaemin ever decides to come out of his room at the time of this live stream,” you commented casually, leaning your elbow on his shoulder and leaning your head against him as you watched the chat box erupt with laughs and internet slangs. Jeno gulped, nodding with a nervous chuckle. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take. I’m being Gordon Ramsay Junior here, y/n. Can’t you be more supportive for your loving boyfriend?” he pouted.

“I would if you didn’t laugh at my misery all the damn time,” you shot back, your free hand reaching out to pinch his cheeks gingerly. He huffed, rolling his eyes at you as he shook your hand away. “You know I still love you,” you grinned, turning your head so you can stare deeply into his dark eyes. He paused his stirring, mirroring your actions as he turned his head to gaze into your eyes and your lips. “Yes, yes I do,” he nodded, pressing a small kiss on your nose before pulling the spatula out of the cup. 

“When Nicki Minaj said ‘yes, I do the cooking. Yes, I do the cleaning,’ I swear this isn’t what you think,” Jeno mumbled under his breath, causing you to let out a laugh. “Stop! Oh my god, we’re never going to finish this,” you wheezed, moving the cup away to let the yeast sit for a bit. “Wait, let me pour the sugar back into the container, you can rest for a bit,” you snickered, grabbing the container filled with sugar and the previous cup you used.

“Okay, don’t spill anything, love!” Jeno cooed, leaning against the counter and sipping his can of coke as he continued reading the comments with the occasional speech bot speaking whenever someone donated or subscribed to your stream. “‘Can you add pineapple on pizza?’” he read aloud, furrowing his brows in concern before looking at the camera. “Not to shit on your taste in pizzas, but what the fuck?” he cocked his head to the side to look at you slowly pouring sugar from the cup into the small opening of the container. 

“I’m seriously concerned, right now,” you joked, closing the container once you got the sugar back in. “Great, now. We just need a bowl to mix our dough in,” you said, opening the dish racks to see if there were any clean bowls left. Jeno and Jaemin were two broke college students, just like you, so it didn’t surprise you much if you found that all the bowls were either still in the dishwasher or hidden somewhere in their rooms as they usually spent hours on their desks playing games while eating ramen on days end.

“Jeno, do you have any bowls left?” you asked, looking up at the male. “All there’s left here is a strainer. Also, why do you have a strainer?” you furrowed your brows in confusion, making Jeno click his tongue in thought. He opened his mouth to respond before closing it shut. “I’ll ask Jaemin if there’s any bowls left,” he mumbled, eliciting another light hearted laugh from you as he walked out of the camera to call out Jaemin’s name. 

“HasbeenTaeil has donated $6.46! Says ‘You two are so adorable my single ass can’t- Love you both! Stay safe!’

You look up at the camera with a bashful smile. “Aw, thanks. You guys are cute too!” you exclaimed, spreading your arms open to give your fans (the camera) a hug. “Thank you all for the donations, by the way. We are always so grateful to everyone who subscribed and donated, you guys are seriously the best!” you smiled widely, watching as the viewer count increased to 6k. “I can’t believe 6 thousand people are watching Jeno and I attempt to make a pizza from scratch,” you commented with a proud grin.

“Okay so I asked Jaemin,” Jeno came back, adjusting the sleeves of his hoodie as he walked into the camera’s view. “And he said he doesn’t know either,” he grinned nervously, causing you to roll your eyes. “Oh my god, how are we going to make the dough without getting things messy now?” you groaned, scanning through the kitchen to find an alternative. 

“I’m sure we’ll figure something out. Right, chat-”

“Wait a minute-never mind!” your bo.yfriend laughed, pulling out a bowl behind the camera on the counter. “It was behind the camera all along, shit!” he wheezed, taking a step back to take in how idiotic the two of you are. “Damn, we really need to check our eyes,” you snickered, rubbing your temples as you suppressed the urge to facepalm. “This just shows how perfect we are for each other,” you added, earning a cough from Jeno.

As soon as you said that, the chat box was instantly filled with people commenting on how much of a simp you are. The worst part was that most of them were in caps lock, which made things even more hilarious. “Awe, y/n really be simping for me on a live stream. Someone play ‘Feel Special’ by Twice,” Jeno cooed, giving you a smug expression before earning a smack on the back from you. “Shut up! You’re a simp for me as well!” smacking him lightly with each word as he let out a small chuckle.

“I can’t deny that,” Jeno winked. You gaped at how bold your boyfriend was being. “You did not just ruin the fantasies of the people who wrote fanfiction about you!” you laughed, watching as the chat box erupted with comments of people saying how much you were whipped for each other. “Wattpad territory was terrifying. I swear, if you search my name up on that specific website. Most of them are like 18+. And I don’t know how I feel about that,” Jeno shook his head with a joking smile, bringing the flour to the counter.

“Oh come on. You were basically fangirling when we did that stream of reading fanfictions about each other,” you smirked at him, nudging his side softly as he opened the packet of flour. “That’s because it was about you and me! Despite how angsty it was, it was still very much intriguing. Plus, they basically gave me ideas on what to do on our next date, it’s a win-win situation!” Jeno retorted with an incredulous laugh.

“And that ladies and gentlemen, is the evidence I need to prove that our Jeno here, read fanfictions about me! A.K.A his precious girlfriend, let’s give him a round of applause!” you clapped your hands while shaking your head, watching as Jeno glared at you with a raised brow, his eyes darting at the chat box who were still calling him out for being a major simp. “This is misleading information, I should sue you,” Jeno said rather monotonously. But you all knew he was just joking.

“You can’t sue the person you simp for, Jeno-”

“Winderellaprincess has donated $3! Says ‘is this a cooking show or a battle of two simps? I mean- I’m not complaining’”

“Oh shit!” you both cursed in unison. “I totally forgot we were cooking, oh fuck!” you laughed, clapping your hands. “We really are simps,” Jeno teased, making the two of you laugh even more. “Go away!” you mused as you picked up the handwritten paper Jeno wrote. “Okay, so, your paper says that we need three cups of flour,” you read aloud, tossing the paper back on the counter. “Three cups?” Jeno asked, picking up the cup you both previously used for the sugar.

“A half of the packet looks like three cups to me-” 

“Jeno, no, I still want to be able to walk into this kitchen without Jaemin whacking my head with a pan,” you shook your head, grabbing the packet from him and leaning it to the side. “Fine, I’ll just hold the cup,” Jeno giggled as you both continued to use the measuring cup to pour in the flour into the bowl. “Oh fuck! Shit, sorry!” you laughed after spilling a bit of flour onto the counter and some onto the floor. You both wheezed as you took a few steps back to compose yourselves.

“I fucking swear, we’re never cooking together ever again,” you shook your head, standing weakly as you tried to stop laughing. 

“Kwangyaman has donated $2! Says ‘now I see why Jaemin doesn’t allow ya’ll to step foot into the kitchen’” 

“Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” you wiped a tear from your eye as you tried to keep yourself from laughing too hard. “My stomach hurts from laughing,” Jeno scrunches his face cutely, showing his crescent moon-shaped eyes as he continues to laugh. “I told you we should just dump half of the packet in!” he exclaimed, dropping the packet of flour on the counter carelessly as he examined the mess you made. “Oh god, Jaemin’s going to fucking kill us!”

“itsjunrenhuang has donated $4.99! Says ‘we stan Gordon Ramsay’s walmart children’”

“We appreciate the compliment,” you snorted, waving your hand off as you tried to dust off the flour to the floor, inevitably covering your slippers in the process. “It’s the genes,” Jeno added with a soft laugh. “Shawn Mendes once said ‘it isn’t in my blood’ and Jeno clearly ignored him,” you teased, looking back at the handwritten paper on the counter. “I swear, if this doesn’t taste good. I’m just going to buy a personal chef,” you muttered under your breath, wiping the flour on your apron.

“You’re talking as if you could afford one,” Jeno shot back, earning a small huff from you. “Just so you all know, thank you so much for donating. We’ll read through all the donations after the live stream. The donations will be spent on this magnificent restaurant!” he exclaimed with his hands on his hips, moving to read the comments. “Alright, mister. Let’s get back to cooking before our real personal chef gets out of his natural habitat,” you patted Jeno’s shoulder, leaning over to look at the recipe with him. 

“‘Three quarters of a tablespoon of salt’,” he read before reaching up to open the cupboard to find some salt. “I swear, we still have some salt leftover,” he mumbled, causing your eyes to go wide at his statement. “Imagine if you ran out though?” you mused, raising a brow as you turned to face the camera. “Shut up, I found it,” Jeno pulled the container half filled with salt from the cupboard and  twisted the lid open with a small grunt before handing the container to you. 

“Okay, three quarters of a tablespoon-” you stuck your tongue out in concentration as you dipped the tablespoon in and eyeballed it. “That’s about three quarters, right?” you showed your boyfriend the spoon who narrowed his eyes at it before nodding simply. “Yeah, I think so.” he nodded at you, giving you a soft shrug as you frowned. “By the way if you guys are wondering what salt we’re using. It’s the uh-” you turned the container of salt in your hands and furrowed your brows to read the label.

“You’re saying that as if they don’t have salt at home,” Jeno snickered. “Really shows how much you love salty foods,” he poked your cheek as you let out a frustrated huff. “Hey, at least I have some spice in my life!” you retorted with a shuddering laugh, raising the container of salt as if you were aiming to hit him. “Anyways we’re using Kosher salt,” you grinned at the camera, showing the salt container as if it wasn’t a famous local brand.

“moonhannah just donated $5! Says ‘who let these adorable babies in the kitchen? This is all so chaotic’”

You and Jeno looked up at the camera at this, brows furrowed as you stared back at the camera with offended expressions. “We’re grown adults!” you both whined in unison before turning back to the dough without a second thought. “Hey chat, do you guys think we should add more flour? This doesn’t look enough,” you asked, putting the bowl under the camera on the counter, making sure that your viewers could see it.

“Again, you should’ve listened to me and added half of the packet,” Jeno huffed, waddling over to you with the packet of flour in his hands. “But doesn’t half seem a bit too much?” your eyebrows quirked up slightly at him. “Once again, we need originality and creativity, love.” Jeno shrugged, finishing his coke before tossing it to the trash can and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before putting a bit more flour into the bowl.

“Hakuna Matata,” you chuckled, earning a loud yell from your boyfriend. “Stop! We’re going to get fucking copyrighted!” Jeno laughed, picking up the wooden spatula on the counter to wave it in front of your face. “A sexy lawsuit from Disney,” you wiggled your eyebrows teasingly as Jeno choked on his own spit. “Why am I dating you again?” he coughed, stifling a laugh.

“Next!” you exclaimed, peering your eyes at the paper on the counter once again. “Virgin oil,” you read aloud before turning to Jeno who was opening a new can of coke from the fridge. “Excuse me, what?” Jeno coughed, adjusting to the tingly sparks on his tongue as he drank. “Virgin oil,” you repeated with the same casual tone before Jeno furrowed his brows in confusion. 

“Do we even have that?” Jeno mumbled to himself. 

“Jeno, this is your kitchen! How do you not know?” you said incredulously, putting a hand on your hip and your other hand on the counter. He coughed, giving you an innocent eye smile before opening cabinets to see if he actually does have some virgin oil stored somewhere. “Shut up, Jaemin is usually the only one who actually does the grocery shopping around here. I don’t know shit about the kitchen!” Jeno laughed, ignoring the speech bot’s monotonous voice as people started flooding the chat box with how chaotic this was.

“Gordon Ramsay genes, huh?” you mused with a smirk on your lips. “Shut up, I found it, dumbass,” he stuck his tongue out childishly at you before grabbing the tablespoon you were using previously. “Okay, so three tablespoons of virgin oil?” he asked, turning his head at the paper in your hands, receiving a silent nod from you. “You better not poke me or anything unless you want a very oily pizza, y/n,” he chuckled, twisting the bottle open as he spoke.

You scoffed incredulously. “Wouldn’t think of it,” you said in a sardonic tone as you watched Jeno carefully pour in about three tablespoons of oil. “Now, we add the yeast right?” you asked, picking up the cup that has been sitting on the side for a while, sniffing it before cringing and holding back a gag. “Oh god, that fucking stinks,” you croaked, breathing from your mouth as you try to get the smell out of your mind.

“Why did you smell it?” Jeno chuckled, taking the jug away from you as you coughed. “Curiosity killed the cat, Jeno,” you stated as you came up to see that Jeno had formed a hollow space in the middle of the bowl with the flour and poured the oil in the middle to make it seem like some sort of small puddle. “So, do we like- mix it first or add the yeast first then mix it?” you asked with a cock of your eyebrow.

“I think we add the yeast first,” Jeno said in a more questioning tone than a statement. “Are you sure?” you asked, turning to your boyfriend who scratched his head in confusion. “Nope, that’s why you’re going to do it,” he handed you back the jug with a cheeky grin, putting his hands in his pockets as if you were going to shove it back to him. You raised your brows in surprise, “me? Why me?” you exclaimed with an incredulous laugh.

“Because, I’ve been doing this myself. It’s your turn now,” he grinned, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek. You glared at him intensely, mumbling small incoherent swears under your breath as you started to pour the yeast little by little, cringing at the foul smell. “So we just start mixing, just like that?” you asked as you put the cup back down on the corner of the counter. Jeno hummed in confirmation, opening the fridge to fetch out three cookies.

He shoved one into his mouth before handing you the spatula he used for mixing the yeast earlier. “Just mix it all up until it's fully incorporated,” Jeno nodded, putting a cookie in front of your mouth as an offering. You furrowed your brows, leaning back to examine the cookie in his hands before biting down with a small ‘nom!’. 

“Does this count as vegan pizza?” you asked, looking up at Jeno before you scraped the sides of the bowl to get more flour into the mixture. “Huh?” Jeno responded with a perplexed expression. “What do you mean?” he asked. “The yeast. It’s like tofu-based yeast, I think,” you cocked your head to the side to gesture at the packaging. “But, we’re going to put cheese and pepperoni on the pizza. Does it still make it vegan?” Jeno mused, a light chuckle eliciting from his lips. 

You paused, clicking your tongue before waving it off. 

“Moving on!” 

“Compared to those cooking videos on youtube and instagram, I think it’s safe to say we suck at this,” you said as you began mixing the ingredients together with the spatula he gave you, trying to chew in between your words. “What are you talking about? It doesn’t look that bad. Plus, we’re barely halfway through the damn process, don’t judge a book by it’s cover, y/n.” he huffed, pointing at the dough that has started to form.

“Jeno, I’ve seen too many Tasty youtube videos. I know what a good pizza dough looks like,” you paused your mixing to look at him and give him a disbelief scoff. Jeno rolled his eyes at this before pushing his last cookie into your mouth. “Excuse you, I’m the chef here. We are streaming from my account, therefore, you have no place to say if it’s bad or not because you simply haven’t tried it yet!” Jeno huffed, pinching your nose gingerly as he scrunched his nose cutely at you.

You sighed, chewing the cookie in your mouth anyway as you continued mixing till a small dough started to form. “But this doesn’t look right, Jeno,” you informed, moving the bowl closer to your boyfriend and using the spatula to prove your point. From what you two have seen on youtube, pizza dough was supposed to be stretchy and sticky like those pizza makers who flips the pizza in the air with their hands oh-so-majestically. 

However, compared to those videos, your dough was more like a literal embodiment of your lives. The dough was hard and rigid like hard cookie dough. It was tearing apart like dried play doh with every turn of your spatula and the dough appeared to be way smaller than the humongous amount of flour you added previously. Which was a big problem.  

“Fnafenthusiast has donated $2! Says ‘the dough looks dry asf, are you sure that’s not play doh?’” 

Jeno glanced up at the laptop screen at this, furrowing his brows at the statement. “Hold your horses there, buddy. This is not play doh! I assure you, it just needs a bit more mixing. At least I think-” he scrunches his nose with crossed arms, causing you to raise a brow at him. “You ‘think’, huh?” you raised a brow at him, shaking your head as you proceeded to mix the dough, cringing internally at how the dough kept breaking apart.

“Jeno, I’m not kidding. The dough looks more broken than my old Nintendo DS,” you commented, causing Jeno to click his tongue in thought. “Maybe you just need to mix it even more? I mean, we’ve been following the recipe,” Jeno scratched the back of his neck as he held the bowl and leaned it closer to him. “The recipe filled with only ingredients and no other instructions whatsoever, you mean?” you said sarcastically.

“Hey, listen. I was writing an essay that night as well, my wrists were about to snap off if I wrote down the whole recipe-” Jeno was soon cut off when you quickly dipped your fingers into the opened packet of flour and smeared it across his face and hoodie. “Hey!” he exclaimed, wiping the powdery substance off of his cheeks with a frown on his face. 

“Shut up,” you grinned before Jeno swiped his fingers against the counter which was still partially covered with flour and pinched your cheek eagerly. “I hate you so much,” he stated with a soft chuckle, his previously taken aback expression morphing into one filled with love and adoration. “Of course you do,” you nodded before looking at the camera while wiping the flour off of your cheeks, unaware that some of it was still staining your cheeks.

“Itsoraanchhey just donated $4! Says ‘snort the flour’” the speechbot said monotonously.

You laughed, shaking your head. “Yeah, definitely not doing that,” you looked down at the dough, mushing it around with the spatula. “This is a family friendly live stream, okay. No snorting here!” Jeno laughed, tutting as he waved his index finger at the audience. “Don’t do drugs kids!” you both exclaimed in unison, giving the camera enthusiastic jazz hands. “Or it’s jail time!” you added before snickering to yourselves.

“Where are we even going with this?” Jeno snorted.

“Time to knead the dough!” you exclaimed eagerly. To be honest you were waiting for this part since he told you that you were making pizza instead of chocolate balls. “Alright then. I’m going to go wash my hands again,” Jeno nodded, smacking his hands together as he walked towards the sink, letting you divide the dough in half with your wooden cooking utensil. “I’m sure this is enough, right?” you looked up at the camera with a nervous yet hopeful smile.

“c-sanshone just donated $5.66! Says ‘no’” the speech bot said, causing you to frown involuntarily. 

“You guys really should learn to be supportive of other people’s goals. The point here is to have fun and to chat with all you lovely people,” you huffed, putting your hands on your hips sassily in an attempt to scold your viewers. “I thought the point of all this was so that we could eat something that isn’t frozen pre-made food,” Jeno jokes, waving his wet hands at you, causing water droplets to hit your cheeks at the rapid movement. 

“That too,” you nodded with a small hum. 

“Okay but let’s get these out of the way, first,” you started picking up the measuring cups lying around the counter and putting them back in their place as Jeno helps put back the leftover ingredients into the cabinets. “We should never open a restaurant,” you concluded, looking at the evenly divided dough that was barely holding itself together. “As much as it pains me to say, I agree,” Jeno nodded with a heavy sigh.

“Gordon Ramsey, we’ll make you proud someday,” Jeno cried dramatically, scrunching his face as he let out a fake sob, wiping invisible tears off of his cheeks. “Gordon Ramsay went ham on Mark’s cooking show, do you think he’ll give us mercy if we tweet out the current conditions of our dough?” you asked, kissing your teeth as you recalled the iconic tweet Gordon Ramsay himself made when he reacted to your friend cooking a sunny side up egg for the first time in his life. 

“Xiaojun was holding a fire extinguisher. I’m sure he would be proud of us for making it this far without fucking it up too much,” he shrugged, examining the mess of state your kitchen was in. “Oh bless the lord, hope we don’t end up burning the house or breaking the oven,” you groaned to yourself, rubbing your forehead in distress before a sudden realisation washed over you.

“Jeno,” you called out with wide eyes. “Yeah?” Jeno replied shortly, scrolling through the crowded chat box on the laptop screen. “Have we preheated the oven?” you asked, slowly turning your head towards him to increase suspense. Jeno’s eyes went wide for a second and you swore you could hear Renjun singing ‘wae naneun neoreul mannaseo!” and Taeil singing ‘apado gwaenchana’ flamboyantly in the background. 

“Fuck, I forgot!” Jeno exclaimed, watching you rush to the oven to adjust the settings. “I’m sorry!” he laughed, watching you fiddle with the settings before turning it on to preheat the oven. “Fuck,” you groaned, suppressing the urge to bang your head against the kitchen counter as your boyfriend continued to laugh behind you. 

“Wait, how much was it again?” you asked, looking back at your boyfriend who quickly grabbed the piece of paper and squinted his eyes at it. “430 frames per secon- I mean, fahrenheit!” Jeno squeaked, coughing at his small mistake, causing you to chuckle. “Jeno this isn’t an animation video, also 430 frames is a lot,” you pressed the button to turn on the oven before smacking your hands together with a heavy sigh.

“I need a vacation after this whole video,” you grumbled as you stomped back over to the front of the camera.

“Too bad, love. It’s covid season, you’re not escaping me anytime soon,” he planted a loud wet smooch on your cheek, pulling you close against his side for a brief second before letting you go as if nothing had happened. “Let’s stop this tomfoolery and get back to work, shall we?” Jeno smiled with a clap of his hands, picking up the packet of flour you used earlier and dipping his fingers in to sprinkle some of it onto the kitchen counter.

“Salt bae, indeed,” you snickered, making Jeno pinch his fingers together in an attempt to mimic the said meme, eliciting small giggles from the both of you. “Oh my god, Jaemin’s going to fucking kill us,” he laughed, realising that he should’ve sprinkle on the cutting board displayed right in front of you instead of the counter. “At least we managed to have fun,” you waved it off casually, ignoring how panicked you actually were on the inside.

“Goodbye, midnight ramen. You will be missed,” Jeno patted his chest sadly, clutching the fabric as if he was the main character in a play with a tragic backstory. 

“Kainoticedme just donated $7! Says ‘the motto of this whole stream should be Sometimes It’s Okay To Give Up’” 

“Hey! What do you mean ‘give up’?” you retorted with a scoff, putting your hands on your hips. “No one’s giving up anything today, okay?” you exclaimed with a firm shake of your head. “What a pep talk,” Jeno clapped his hands unceremoniously as he stared at the camera with a deadpan expression. “Insert that meme of Lady Gaga saying a bunch of synonyms of ‘amazing’, please!” Jeno clapped his hands harder before taking a step back to dodge your soft smacks.

“Shut up!” you laughed, retracting your hand as your boyfriend dodged your hits before watching Jeno come up with the bowl filled with dough. A proud smile stretching across his lips as he rhythmically taps his fingers against the plastic bowl. “Okay, check this out!” he exclaimed, flipping the bowl over with no hesitation before shaking it when the dough wasn’t coming out. “Stop, Jeno, that’s not a macaron batter. Babe, it’s gonna-”

The dough flopped on the counter not-so-graciously when it finally pulled away from the bowl, making the flour go everywhere: on your clothes, faces and everywhere else on the counter. “Lee Jeno!” you exclaimed, your mouth gaping open as you patted your shirt to dust the flour away. “Y/N L/N!” he mimicked your tone teasingly with a boyish grin, wiping the flour off of his cheek before smearing it even more on your clothes.

“Stop! I didn’t bring a change of clothes!” you whined, swatting his hand away with a laugh. “Oh calm down, you drama queen. You can use my clothes after this,” he rolled his eyes at you, putting the bowl aside on the counter as you continued to complain and whine about how you’re never going to forgive him for ruining your favourite shirt. “You’re the drama queen!” you shot back with a finger pointing directly at him. “Why did you have to do that?” you exclaimed with a whine.

“Originality and creativity, love,” Jeno shrugged, collecting the dough and playing with the mixture innocently as if he hadn’t made a mess of the kitchen and your clothes for laughs. “I hate you,” you mumbled under your breath, taking a few steps back to dodge his upcoming kisses when he turned his body to face you. “Aw man, I wanted to kiss your floury face,” he pouted, causing your heart to skip a beat at his words.

“Later,” you rolled your eyes at him, letting him off the hook for being an idiot. An adorable idiot. 

Wait no, YOUR adorable idiot.

“Okay let’s do some teamwork and knead the dough together!” Jeno exclaimed, pulling you alongside him in front of the camera before kneading the dough closest to him. “Why is this harder than it looks?” you snorted as you began to slowly massage the dough with your palms. “Shh!” Jeno shushed, his lips puckering as he made soft shushing noises. “Let the dough do it’s work, all you have to do is knead it to perfection,” he spoke softly.

“I highly doubt that,” Jeno added almost inaudibly, making you chuckle at your boyfriend. “I love how you’re just exaggerating and blowing things up out of proportion,” he commented, turning to look at you. You glanced up at him with a small hum, cocking your head to the side in confusion which made Jeno’s stomach do somersaults. “Originality and creativity, babe,” you quoted, giggling slightly.

“Please, Rie McClenny would be screaming in pain if she ever finds this video,” Jeno rolled his eyes before leaning close to the mic above the camera to whisper against it. “Tasty please sponsor me, I swear I won’t burn down the whole kitchen,” he whispered loudly, eliciting laughs from your audience. “Tasty, we’re open for sponsors or collabs!” you joined in on his little joke, tossing the dough up in the air before letting it flop down on the counter, inevitably making a larger mess.

“Hey! You’re copying me!” Jeno whined, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “How quaint,” you replied in a bittersweet tone, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw before focusing on kneading the dough again. “That’s it.” Jeno stopped kneading his dough to cross his arms against his chest with a small pout on his lips. “I’m terminating our friendship!” he huffed, looking away from you childishly, trying not to crack up at his pathetic attempts to act cute.

“So? Do you prefer us to be lovers instead?” you mused, wiggling your eyebrows instead before laughing hard when you saw your boyfriend letting out a loud groan. “God, you’re annoying,” he laughed, slinging an arm around your waist to give you a small side hug before pulling away to continue punching the life out of his dough. 

“Nimoncross has donated $10! Says ‘the amount of tik tok and meme references in this live stream is astronomical’”

“Couldn’t agree more,” you both sighed heavily. “Why is the dough sticking onto the counter?” you chuckled nervously, looking up at your boyfriend who was dealing with the same problem himself. “Just knead it a bit more? At least that’s what Jaemin said when we ran through the recipe,” Jeno scratched the back of his head in confusion, not acknowledging how he got flour on his hair again until you began to dust it off for him.

“Remember that video of Rie Mclenny cooking a pizza with zero waste?” you asked, turning to your boyfriend as you two began poking holes into the dough. “Not really, why?” he shook his head at you. “I remember her dough was super stretchy and squishy. Also her dough bounces back if you poke it, while ours… don’t. There’s something definitely wrong with our dough,” you laughed, wiping your hands against your white apron.

“Okay, that’s probably because we’re using a whole different recipe than hers,” Jeno shrugged carelessly as he continued to fiddle with the dough on the counter.

“Okay, but all jokes aside, it’s actually sticking to the counter. Jaemin’s going to fucking kill us,” Jeno stated with a light hearted laugh, pulling the dough back to bunch it up in his palms only for some of it to stick to the counter and tear apart. “Oh god, we’re never going to be allowed in this kitchen ever again,” you complained with a small whine, grabbing the bowl you set aside and putting your doughs back in.

“I think it’s best we leave those be till we decide what to do with them,” Jeno said, turning to wash his hands in the sink with you right behind him. “Leeteukspeaks has donated $8! Says ‘add more flour, oml. We’ve been telling you this for the past fifteen minutes!’” the speech bot said, attracting your attention back to the camera as you walked back to the counter. “Add more flour?” you asked, looking at the sticky doughs in the bowl with an unsure expression. 

“If I remember correctly, it’s supposed to be like that, we just gotta let it rest,” Jeno said, cracking his knuckles as he spoke. “Chill out, chat. We know what we’re doing. My restaurant is a five star restaurant, just trust the process,” Jeno assured the audience who just continued to spam the chat box with a series of ‘no’s and ‘you guys are idiots, listen to us!’.

“Though, we got to leave it to rest for a whole hour. So,” he reached over to the other side of the counter where another bowl was wrapped with a sheet of plastic wrap over it and plopping it down in front of the camera. “We prepared another bowl that’s already been sitting for the past hour,” he grinned, causing you to furrow your brows and dilate your pupils at the bowl in his hands.

‘Where the fuck did that bowl come from?’ you thought to yourself but you didn’t want to think of it too much. The sooner you get this done, the sooner you can log off and sleep. “If you guys saw my instagram story and my snapchat, you guys would’ve seen this coming,” Jeno grinned, shaking the bowl in his hand. “So this is what you were doing while I was writing my essay?” you asked with a chuckle, fidgeting with the plastic wrapper around the corners of the bowl.

Jeno hummed in response, giving you a cute eye smile as he lets you pull the plastic wrap away from the bowl. “Though it seems like the yeast didn’t rise,” you stated, poking a finger on the dough to see if it will bounce back. “This live stream is a very shitty version of a cooking mama game,” you mumbled under your breath which made Jeno laugh. “Babe, hush, you want to get this over with right?” he asked with a smug expression, putting his hand in the bowl to poke it as well.

“danishyi has donated $4! Says ‘Gordon Ramsay would not be proud right now’”

“What are you talking about? Gordon Ramsay is loving this. In fact, I showed him the dough earlier on twitter and he said it was way better than his! Right y/n?” Jeno nudged you with an amused voice, making you give him a deadpan expression, scrunching your nose in fake disgust as you slowly nodded to please your boyfriend. “Whatever you say, babe,” you agreed, going along with his joke.

“Alright, let’s get the dough out-”

“Wait, at least let me sprinkle more flour first, Jeno!” you halted him midway from scooping out the dough to quickly fetch the flour packet and sprinkle in some flour on the counter, inevitably making an even more larger mess in the kitchen. “Right, shit, sorry,” he giggled before putting the dough on the counter and using a knife to divide the dough in half.

“Damn, this is really oily.” you stated, starting to fold the dough over itself and ignoring the weird feeling that comes with touching the oily surface. “No shit, we added virgin oil, babe,” Jeno snickered with a shake of his head, following your actions with his own dough. “Did Jaemin help you with this?” you asked, looking up at him for a brief moment before starting to knead and massage your dough.

“Nope, he refused to help. He had some hope that I won’t burn down the kitchen if I do it myself,” he shook his head, flipping the dough upside down before pressing holes with his fingers. “That’s unfortunate, wait until he finds out you trashed the kitchen instead,” you chuckled, earning a soft glare from the boy beside you. “Hey, at least I didn’t burn it down like he hoped, give me a break.” He sighed exasperatedly.

“Wait so what are you going to do with the other dough that we made? You can’t possibly throw it out, right? That thing’s our new baby now,” you joked, pointing a finger at the bowl filled with the dough you made earlier. Jeno turned his head at the bowl before looking down at the camera with a boyish smile, “so you actually want to start a family with me?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you before earning a soft push from you. 

“You dumbass, be serious!” you groaned, suppressing a smile as you felt your heart skip a beat at the mention of starting a family with Jeno. “I can’t be Sirius, I’m Jeno,” Jeno said with a smug expression before letting out a squeal and running out of the camera view when he saw you lift your dough up in your palm threateningly as if you were going to throw it at him like a frisbee. 

“I knew it was a mistake to watch Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban today,” you snorted, putting your dough down as Jeno walked back towards you with loud giggles. “I swear we’re never going to get this done,” you groaned, putting your elbows on the flour-covered counter, ignoring how the white powder clung onto the fabric of your shirt as you groaned, suppressing the need to bang your head against the wall.

“Look at the bright side, baby. At least you’re spending quality time with your precious boyfriend, right everyone?” his eyes lit up as he stared back at the camera, receiving enthusiastic responses of agreements from the chat box and the speech bot. “Bright side, huh?” you chuckled, standing up straight to stretch your back as you continued kneading your dough. “I think that’s enough kneading!” you ignored your pouting boyfriend to take a step back and admire your work, putting your hands on your hips proudly as if you just found the key to ending World Hunger.

“So do we combine our doughs together and shape the dough or what?” you asked, hearing Jeno hum in thought. “How about you knead our dough together and I’ll find the toppings we need for our pizza?” he suggested, causing you to frown. He gave you an innocent grin, pressing a chaste kiss on your forehead before giving you his usual puppy eyes, the one you couldn’t say no to, which caused you to frown even deeper.

You groaned, sighing deeply and dramatically before nodding. “You’re lucky I love you too much,” you mumbled under your breath, pressing a small kiss on his cheek gingerly before coming up to the counter to mix both of your doughs together. “Hey, I made this dough all by myself, you don’t get to complain shit!” he laughed, running off to ask Jaemin where he usually puts the other ingredients. “We could’ve had a higher rate of success if we’d just stuck to making chocolate balls!” you yelled, using all of your remaining strength to knead the dough.

You didn’t know if Jeno ignored you or didn’t hear you because he didn’t respond back as he jogged to his roommate’s room. But you clicked your tongue and proceeded to flatten the dough out and make somewhat of a circular shape and folded over the dough for a thick crust, pinching your fingers to make the dough stick to itself as you spread it out. “Okay, so this looks more like a pizza now, right?” you asked, looking up at the camera.

“Now we’re just going to flat the dough out evenly, just like that!” you exclaimed, smacking the dough with your hand before looking at the laptop screen, watching as your audience continued to spill in jokes and words in caps lock in the chat. You purse your lips before continuing on shaping the pizza as Jeno then finally walked back into the kitchen and began opening the fridge and the cabins, pulling out some marinara sauce and some cheese.

“Seriously, that’s it?” you asked, raising your brows at the containers in his hands. “Yeah, basically. What? You want to add pineapples on it or something?” he raised his brow at you as the corners of his lips quirked up into a teasing smile. “Ew, no, stop,” you fake gagged at him, causing Jeno to giggle as he popped the lid of the marinara sauce open with his hands. 

“Watch as Gordon Ramsay knocks on that door just to call us an idiot sandwich,” you snickered pointing at the door with a flour covered finger, making Jeno laugh, shaking his head at your nonsense. “Excuse you, if anything he’s going to praise us for making this delicious cuisine,” Jeno hesitated on the last part of his sentence when he took a look at your kitchen. “Are you sure this is cuisine? This radiates the same vibe as Hyuck eating ramen without cooking it,” you cringed internally.

“Floofybunbun has donated $3! Says ‘USE A ROLLING PIN, NOT YOUR HANDS!’”

Your heads shot up at this before exchanging confused glances. “A rolling pin?” you both asked in unison. “Do you even have a rolling pin here?” you asked as you and Jeno glanced around and started opening drawers and cupboards to search for one. “I don’t think so. Then, again, we’re broke college students I’m surprised we even have fucking mozzarella cheese in this place,” Jeno picked up the small container of shredded mozzarella before dropping it down carelessly on the counter.

“Okay, we gotta improvise then,” you huffed, looking around for any object that could be used to roll out your dough before you spotted Jaemin’s reusable starbucks cup. “This!” you exclaimed, rushing to take it in your hands and showing it to the camera. “I know, this isn’t a rolling pin, guys. But it could be if you just imagine it,” you grinned, ignoring Jeno’s gaping expression as he felt his skin run cold. “Do you have a death wish?” Jeno laughed nervously.

“Jaemin’s going to make us wish we were never born if anything happens to his favourite cup,” Jeno picked the cup from your hands and keeping it away from your reach by stretching his arm above his head when you attempted to snatch it back. “Come on, Jeno. Life is boring without a little danger,” you teased, stepping on your tippy toes to reach his arm but failing to no avail.

“Just use that pringles container,” Jeno cocked his head to the direction of his collection of snacks on the counter right below the cupboard out of the camera’s view. You glanced at the treat before raising your brow. “Wouldn’t the dough stick to the paper-ish surface?” you asked with a raised brow, making Jeno sigh in defeat. “Fuck, right,” he handed you back the cup, letting you roll the dough out evenly with the cup. 

“Jaemin’s going to get so mad,” you laughed, humming a merry tune as you thinned out the dough, staining the cup with flour with every roll of your hands. “No shit,” Jeno huffed, leaning his head down in distress as he let out a loud chuckle.

“Itsokayman has donated $10! Says ‘the fact that you aren’t using a rolling pin physically hurts me”

“Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Everyone here watching the chat can relate to you, right now,” you and Jeno chuckled, stretching a hand to gesture at the camera. “That includes us, as well,” Jeno added with a tight-lipped smile, widening his eyes dramatically. “Wrap it up, Mike Wazoski,” you twisted your index finger in horizontal motions, laughing at your own joke.

“You did not just disrespect my man, Mike like that-” 

“Anyways!” you cut him off abruptly, ignoring the pout he gave you afterwards. “The dough is falling apart but fuck it, it’s been thirty minutes since the live started and as much as I love talking to you guys I’m hungry,” you smiled, putting your hands on your hips once again with Jeno laughing behind you. “How straight forward,” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around you and leaning his chin against your shoulder, leaning his head against yours and nuzzling against your hair.

“Honesty is the best policy, babe,” you pressed a butterfly kiss on his nose before getting back to forming the crust with your fingers, Jeno still clinging to your back like an adorable koala as he watched you with loving eyes. 

“Tenshi-chanxx has donated $6! Says ‘stop ignoring us and listen! We’re trying to help you, the dough is literally falling apart. We won’t know what’s going to happen to your little play doh if you put it in the fucking oven!’”

You both looked up at his, eyes blowing wide before sharing the same flabbergasted expressions before turning to the camera and shaking your heads. “No,” you both said monotonously in unison before going back to your dough and laughing it out. “We’re just here to have some fun,” you shrugged at the camera with a casual expression. “Even if we end up going to our own funerals after this,” Jeno added with a harsh gulp.

“Okay, so now. We’re going to add this little baby,” you outstretched your arm to reach the marinara sauce, showing it to the camera and turning your head to look at your boyfriend with a small smile. “Can you open this please?” you asked in the most kindest tone you could muster, internally wincing at how cringey you sounded. He laughed at your pathetic attempts to use a sweet tone but nods nonetheless, releasing his tight grasp on your waist to open the jar of sauce with a small ‘pop’.

“Here you go,” he handed you back the jar before leaning his hands on the counter, not taking his eyes off of you. “Now, you’re gonna wanna put it like it’s mayo,” Jeno explained, pointing at the pizza dough as you grabbed two clean spoons from one of the drawers and handing it to him. “That’s a terrible reference,” you snickered, scooping a spoonful of the sauce and dumping it on the dough, tapping it against it to make sure all the sauce slips down.

“Shut up, baby, I’m doing an explanation here. Like those animal documentaries in Nat Geo Wild,” Jeno chuckles, scooping a spoonful of sauce himself and mirroring your actions, spreading it all over the pizza with a click of his tongue. “You got to make sure to spread it nice and evenly to get more flavor,” Jeno stuck his tongue out in the corners of his mouth in concentration as you two spread the sauce all around the dough.

You couldn’t hold in your laugh as he continued to do those monotone voices wildlife documentary narrators often use on TV. “I’m sorry but this looks like something out of an accident,” you laughed, pointing at the messy pizza on the counter. “It actually does. Oh shit, it actually fucking does,” Jeno puts a hand to his mouth to conceal his shock as he howled out laughing. “This was a whole mess,” you put your spoon back in the sink with a wheeze.

“Please, just cut the cameras already,” you clutched your stomach as it was starting to hurt from laughing too much. “The show must go on, y/n! Get a hold of yourself, my love!” Jeno said dramatically, grabbing some water to clear his throat as he continued to laugh with you. “We should be cast in a new ratatouille movie,” you snorted, wiping an invisible tear. “Or a new bee movie,” Jeno added with a soft chortle, handing you his own spoon.

“Disney, hit us up!” you gave the camera a dramatic finger gun, causing Jeno to double over laughing. “We’re open for sponsors, Disney! Emails and shit will be down in the description box below!” you gave them an awkward smile and jazz hands to add more flavor to your grand advertisement. “Yeah, don’t do that again. At this point, we’re never going to get sponsored by Disney nor Gordon Ramsey,” Jeno pressed a soft kiss to the corners of your lips, making you pout at his words.

“It’s a hard knock life,” you sang under your breath.

“For us,” he finished. 

“Anyways! Why do we keep saying ‘anyways’?” you both couldn’t stop laughing the more you see your failure of a pizza. “You all know chefs make mistakes from time to time right? So we- more specifically, I came up with a back up plan. A plan B basically,” he marched unceremoniously to the fridge, opening the freezer and poking his head in. “Jeno don’t tell me you have another secret batch in there. We don’t have enough friends to poison if these doughs don’t turn out good,” you teased, turning on the tap and running your hands under the water to wash off any dough left in between your fingers.

Jeno then pulled out his supposed ‘plan B’ which turns out to be a box of frozen pizza he bought from the supermarket the other day. “Classic pepperoni pizza,” you read the label aloud with a soft giggle. “I don’t think that’s going to compare to the exquisite meal we made here, Jeno,” you gestured to the sloppy deformed pizza on your counter, which made Jeno snort. “Facts,” he agreed with a soft chuckle. 

“I knew this pizza would come in handy. Now let’s compare this to our own pizza here,” he grinned, opening the pizza box and pulling the plastic wrapped food out of the box, setting it down beside your own pizza. The frozen pizza in comparison was making your homemade pizza feel like a shrivelled old 6000 year old snail and you didn’t know whether to cry or laugh about it.

“Out of context, if we ever decide to join a Master Chef competition. No guaranteed, with this lovely pizza of ours? We’re going to be the next Gordon Ramsay and rule the goddamn world,” you almost choked on your own spit as you laughed, Jeno shaking his head at you with a wide smile on his face. “I live for your sarcasm,” he reached over to pinch your cheeks gingerly, cooing softly at you.

“Come on, compared to our pizza. You can tell which one is better,” you said in a proud tone as if you weren’t on the brink of crying out of embarrassment now. Watching Jeno rip the plastic packaging open and pulling out the pizza, you couldn’t help but make more sardonic jokes about your own creation, amusing your audience as those who donated expressed their thoughts over the speech bot.

“Since we don’t have pepperoni in this house, we’re just going to borrow some from this pizza right here,” Jeno pulls out some chopsticks from God knows where and started picking up a few pepperonis from the frozen pizza, placing them right on top of the marinara sauce spread sloppily on your pizza dough. “Jeno I- you know you could just use other alternatives than just straight up stealing pepperonis from the frozen one?” you said incredulously with a slight laugh 

“We’re professionals, y/n. If we don’t have a certain ingredient, we improvise,” he grinned cheekily, making you roll your eyes. “You could add the leftover sausages from the fridge and yet you decide to steal the pepperoni, real professional, Jeno,” you nodded with crossed arms as Jeno neatly arranged the pepperonis on your pizza. “Also why are you making the pepperonis stand up on the dough?” you asked, pointing at the vertical pepperonis piling up on the dough.

“Originality and creativity,” he stated without hesitation. 

“Just so you know, neither of these pizzas are safe for human consumption,” you stated, pointing to the two pizzas on the counter. “Oh yeah, definitely. That’s the exact reason why I chose this for today’s Christmas cooking livestream,” Jeno nodded in agreement, giving you a small thumbs up before giving a small clap. “But honestly, what is safe for human consumption in this world?” he asked with a questioning look, waving his hand to the side as he furrowed his brows and gave the camera a ‘duh’ look.

“Cheese!” you exclaimed eagerly out of random, putting your hands on the counter with an excited smile. Jeno furrowed his brows at you. “Aren’t some people lactose intolerant?” he asked, receiving a deadpan expression from you . “No, you idiot. I meant, it’s time to pour the cheese!” you snatched the small container filled with shredded mozzarella behind him and waved it in front of the camera.

“Right. I forgot, I knew the pizza was missing something,” Jeno puts his palm against his forehead, shaking his head in disappointment as he lets out small chuckles. “How could you forget the star of the show?” your eyes grew wide at him, putting your hand on your chest as you looked at him in an almost offended expression. “Honestly, Jeno, I expected better from you,” you shook your head, making small ‘tsk’ sounds under your breath.

Jeno rolled his eyes, flicking your forehead gently before giving you a sweet smile. “Whatever, just pour as much cheese as you want so we can quickly pop these in the oven,” Jeno giggled, watching you rub the slightly sore spot on your forehead as you gave him a threatening glare. “I hate you,” you opened the container with a huff, putting your fingers in before generously sprinkling the cheese all over the pizza.

“I love how the chat box exploded with the word ‘cheese’,” you snickered, pointing at the laptop screen. “Jaemin and his lactose intolerant ass is probably crying right now,” Jeno added, nodding in amusement as he dipped his hand in the container to sprinkle more cheese himself. “That is, if he’s watching,” you chuckled, looking up at your boyfriend’s handsome face. “I pray to God he isn’t,” he added with a nervous laugh. 

The oven then made a loud ‘beep’ to signal that it’s already preheated, causing you and Jeno to cheer loudly as your audience prays for the safety of Jeno and Jaemin’s apartment. “Oh, yay! Finally!” you cheered, walking over to open one of the cabins to pull out a long tray for your pizzas. “Okay, so we finally get to the interesting part of this whole live stream!” you exclaimed, placing the tray carefully in front of the pizza. “Not really,” you added quickly. 

“Anyways, which pizza shall we try first?” you asked, pointing at the two uncooked pizzas on the kitchen counter. “Our baby or the store bought one?” you asked, pointing at the two pizzas to emphasize on your words. “Why not both?” Jeno asked with a raised brow, handing you a glass of water out of nowhere. “Drink water, kids !” he gave an enthusiastic thumbs up at the camera as you casually took the glass from him and gulped it down without hesitation. 

“Alright then, both!” you agreed with a nod, placing your small pizza dough carefully on the tray, watching as bits of shredded cheese fell off of the corners of your pizza. “Fuck, the floor is literallt a mess right now,” Jeno chuckled, taking a step back to examine the state of your floor, internally noting to himself how much of struggle it’ll be to clean all this up later. “Just like our pizza right here,” you smiled awkwardly at the camera as you struck a pose with your sloppy pizza on the tray. 

“Brookestoresle has donated $7! Says ‘SPRAY THE DAMN PAN!’”

“Spray the pan?” you repeated in a questioning tone, a perplexed expression glossing over both of your features. “What do you mean ‘spray the pan’? What is it for?” Jeno asked, looking through the comments to see if anyone could elaborate on that. “Do we spray it with Windex or something? What are we supposed to spray it with, exactly?” you said, half jokingly. “Definitely,” Jeno nodded, laughing at your suggestion.

“rouroul3l3 has donated $5! Says ‘put a fucking cooking spray. Put a fucking cooking spray before you pop it in the oven, idiots’”

“Oh. Right!” you both exclaimed in unison, running around the kitchen to find some cooking spray. “Do you even have cooking spray?” you exclaimed, shutting the drawers close as you came back to the camera’s line of vision. “Uh,” Jeno paused for a second before walking out of the camera view and shouted at the top of his lungs. “Jaemin! Do we have cooking spray?” he ran over to his roommate’s room once again.

In the distance you can hear Jaemin’s door being slammed open by either the man himself or your boyfriend. “What do you want now, Jeno?!” he exclaimed loudly, loud enough for you and the microphone to pick up, that is. “Do we have cooking spray?” Jeno’s voice was barely audible to the viewers, but luckily, you adjusted the mic so they could hear the conversation they were having. “No, we don’t. Could you two keep it down? I’m almost done editing my video,” Jaemin groaned.

“Okay, okay. But what should we use since we don’t have cooking spray?” Jeno asked once again, pushing on the poor boy’s buttons as you stared at the camera with an amused expression, trying hard not to burst out laughing. “I don’t know, just melt some butter or something,” was the last thing you heard before Jaemin’s door slammed shut, causing you to finally burst out laughing.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Jeno chuckled, jogging over to pinch your cheeks as you continued to laugh. “So we don’t have cooking spray?” you teased before Jeno gave you an incredulous scoff. “I know for a fact you heard Jaemin yelling at the top of his lungs so don’t you even dare ask that question!” Jeno giggled, waving his index finger at you disappointingly. “I’m just kidding,” you smacked his hand away before grabbing some butter from the fridge.

“Let’s just put this in the oven for it to melt for about five-ish minutes,” Jeno said, carefully pulling the dough from the tray for you to spread butter all over it. He placed the dough back on the counter before lifting the tray and putting it in the oven, clasping his hands together loudly before turning to look at the laptop screen in front of the two of you. “Now we wait!” he exclaimed with a bright, tight-lipped smile. 

“Wafflesisyou has donated $9! Says ‘You could’ve used olive oil, you know’”

You and Jeno froze in place as if your brains short circuited for a brief second before laughing it off casually. “You guys could’ve told us that earlier, it’s too late now. The pan is in the oven, there’s no turning back now,” you said in a sinister voice, laughing nervously as you moved over to peek at the tray through the door of the oven. “Like I said before, originality and creativity. We’re coming up with new scientific methods to cook our pizza,” Jeno added with an innocent smile.

You then grabbed a wet rag and opened the oven, pulling the tray out to show the camera that the butter has melted completely. “Okay, so now that that’s done. How do we fit two pizzas in one tray? That’s literally the only tray we have in this house,” Jeno pointed at the pizza then pointed at the tray as you carefully placed the hot tray on the counter near the pizza. “Uh, the store-bought one is a little too big,” you laughed, lifting the cold circular pizza to make a point before putting it back down on the counter,

“Does anyone have any advice? We really need your help on this one, chat,” Jeno giggled, dusting off the flour on his clothes. “‘Cut it’,” you read aloud, squinting your eyes at the chat box before humming. “Don’t you have a pizza cutter somewhere?” you asked causing Jeno to start looking around the drawers once again. “We really should have prepared this earlier. It’s been an hour and a half since the live stream started and we spent most of the live being idiots,” Jeno mumbled aloud, causing you to laugh. “Summary of our relationship, really,” you shrugged at the camera.

Pulling out a clean pizza cutter, Jeno raised it up like an adorable child and hopped on over beside you with a small ‘found it!’ coming from his lips. “You’re so adorable,” you gushed, you couldn’t help but reach over and pinch your boyfriend’s cheeks gingerly, causing him to swat your hand away with a roll of his eyes. He then cut the pizza in half before placing it at the edge of the tray, putting your smaller one right beside it.

“There! It fits!” he exclaimed. “Finally!” you groaned, grabbing the wet rag you previously tossed away when no one was looking and lifted the tray up. “Now to bake in the microwave! Gordon Ramsay, we’ll make you proud!” Jeno beamed, watching as you pushed the tray into the oven and pressed some buttons to turn it on and start the timer.

“You know that cooking show where people who are like- the worst cooks known to mankind are featured on? I believe there was a girl who cut an avocado along with the seed with a knife as if it was butter? I really do believe we have the potential of being the winners of that show,” you put your hands up in exhaustion, making Jeno wheeze and clutch his stomach in pain as he continued to laugh hard. 

“The Worst Cooks In America was by far the most interesting cooking video in my youtube recommended feed,” Jeno wiped his tears away as he continued to laugh at your jokes. “Stop or else I’m kicking you out of the live stream,” Jeno threatened weakly, composing himself for a brief moment before meeting your eyes which were glinting in amusement. “Oh, really?” you wiggled your eyebrows suggestively at him before snorting at your own cringey actions.

“I’m never doing that again,” you wheezed out. “Please do,” Jeno nodded in agreement as the viewers continued to watch you read comments and joke around while waiting for the pizzas to finally cook. At some point you and Jeno started sword fighting with cooking utensils on camera with your viewers commenting either how you were going to break your cooking utensils or supporting you individually in said battle.

But nonetheless it was still a funny moment considering Jeno whipped out a cutting board from the counter behind him to use as a shield. You ended up losing and Jeno insisted that you kissed the winner as the prize. But unfortunately for him, you were too much of a troll to give your viewers the satisfaction of seeing the two of you kiss on camera so you tugged him by the collar of his shirt and took a few steps back to give him his prize.

“Pizza’s ready!” you exclaimed, pulling away from Jeno who seemed to be in a daze after kissing you for a solid fifteen seconds as you ran up to the oven. Grabbing some gloves from the cupboard above you, you slipped them on and pulled out the pizzas with a proud smile etched across your face. “Voila!” you did a chef’s kiss as you plopped the tray down on the counter, adjusting the camera so your viewers could have a magnificent view of the cheese bubbling on the pizza.

“Bon appétit!" Jeno said, wiping the remnants of your lip gloss from his mouth as he walked back into the camera’s view. Glitter spread all around his mouth as he gave a boyish smile at the camera, waving at it as if nothing had happened behind the camera. “Okay, but- damn! It smells so good in here,” Jeno gasped as you sliced a piece or two of your pizza and placed it on a clean white plate with a confirmed nod. “Agreed. I actually take what I said back, this actually doesn’t look too bad,” you admitted with a sigh, handing him a plate before raising yours at the camera.

“This looks exquisite if I do say so myself,” Jeno picked up the pizza with his fingers, examining it. “Actually, it’s kind of burnt a little on the bottom but I loved how it turned out!” Jeno’s eyes twinkled with joy once he realised you two didn’t fuck up too badly in this cooking live stream. “I still would have preferred it if we made chocolate balls instead,” you muttered under your breath, receiving a glare from Jeno. 

“Maybe next year,” he joked before taking a bite out of the pizza, humming in delight. 

“Is it actually good? “ you asked him. 

“A little undercooked, but it’s actually really good! ” 

You gaped, leaning your head to the side in wonder as you watched him nod eagerly. You opened your mouth at him, gesturing for him to feed you as you let out a soft ‘ah!’. Jeno smiled, leaning his hands forward to put the plate under your chin and the pizza into your mouth, letting you take a big bite out of it. You chewed for a small moment, feeling Jeno’s eyes on you curiously.

You hummed as your eyes lit up in surprise, nodding as you gave him a thumbs up. “It’s rather burnt, but it’s not that bad! It has my seal of semi-approval!” you gave the camera a small thumbs up before, picking up your own plate which was supposed to be the store bought pizza. “Now let’s try this one!” you turned your plate around to let the viewers drool over your premade pizza before taking a bite out of it, not forgetting to feed Jeno as well.

You and Jeno hummed in unison, nodding as you both internally agreed that this pizza was way better than yours.

“The store bought one tasted like trash,” you said to the camera. “Ours was definitely better,” Jeno nodded, going along with your joke as you both continued to eat the store bought pizza together in front of the camera. “Ladies and Gentlemen, our recipe is a ten out of ten! We did it!” you both clapped graciously to your own success, cheering as if you just won the lottery and ignoring how Jaemin’s muffled shouts for you two to shut up fell deaf in your ears.

You coughed, grabbing a glass of water as Jeno continued to eat the pizza. He then decided it was your cue to end the live stream together. “Okay guys, it’s time for us to head out,” he started, dusting the crumbs off of his hands as he placed the half eaten pizza back on the plate. “Thank you so much for watching this stream! This video will be reuploaded to youtube for those who missed out on this chaotic adventure!” you announced with a clap, giving your boyfriend a glass of water for him to drink.

“Thank you for donating and thank you for guiding us in our cooking journey. And most of all, thank you for being here and have a good night!” Jeno finished as you both waved at the camera enthusiastically with wide smiles before you clicked on your mouse to end the live stream with a high pitched “see you guys later!” 

Jenogames has uploaded a new video!

 Itshaechanyoursun has commented : Nobody:

Literally nobody:

Jeno: origintality and creativity.

   Itshaechanyoursun has replied: *originality 

   Jenogames has replied: if you’re gonna clown me at least spell correctly

y/nisfunny: this was a terrible idea.

y/nisfunny: let’s make chocolate balls next!

   Jenogames has replied: Babe, ily BUT NO

Nanaplays has commented: JENO YOU DID NOT JUST LET YOUR GIRLFRIEND USE MY NEW STARBUCKS CUP

DancingPWARK has commented: As a boy who only cooks instant ramen for a living, this video made me feel like I could be the next Gordon Ramsey

  Jenogames has replied: AIGHT BET

Conspiracieswithyaboi has commented: the donations you made in this stream should be used for you guys to take culinary classes, this whole video was painful to watch

Leleflex has commented: F to the chocolate balls y/n never got to make

  y/nisfunny has replied: THIS.

Markleevlogs has commented: Burn this.

TAGLIST: @moonbeamsung​ @hansolstea​ 

a/n: LMAO WHAT IS THIS FIC