#imma try to do better
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also guys, don’t me afraid to shoot me a lil ask wondering/reminding me about other works i do… i know i tend to bounce around so it’ll help me get back on track instead of forgetting/starting a new project out of nowhere *cough* Father Charlie *cough*
#xani-speaks#father charlie mayhew x reader#bnha x reader#xani writes: know no evil#odysseus x calypso!reader#xani writes: i love robot#fics#one shots are everywhere tbh#I swear this doesn’t happen (read: it does)#ngl I’ve been badly organized for as long as I could remember#alarms/schedules just don’t cut it; I end up just pressing ignore and get on with my day 😭😭#imma try to do better#procrastination
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I haven't thought much about Jonathan Sims for long enough that I kinda feel like I've started thinking about him a little more divorced of the emotional attachment I might have had once. Because I just saw a post lamenting his slow descent into inhumanity and losing his identity, becoming the archivist rather than Jonathan Sims, losing his friends, his house, everything he loves.
But is that true? That put upon head archivist persona he had in the beginning, was that really him? The way I see it, real life has already leached him of any identity he might have had, he didn't really have friends, Tim and Sasha clearly weren't, as we saw in their season 5 recording. He chose to make them his subordinates over beib friends, pushed away Georgie, he became so desperate for approval that he agreed to take a job he clearly has no idea how to do, let his stress over it isolate him from everyone around him, had a desperate need to assert himself in the beginning of every recording as 'head archivist of the Magnus institute london'. Forget about even having a home, he often slept in his office for heaven's sake.
The way I see it, this story is about him finding himself, finding the perfect place for himself in this already doomed world that was already strangling him and everyone around him. He became the Archivist, no longer needing to connect himself to some godforsaken capitalistic institute to identify himself. found his role, he enjoyed its power, even admitted to it. He found love. He found purpose in trying to save the world. In the end he was surrounded with the friends he made along the way (as friendly as they could be under the circumstances). He was finally allowed to make real choices, have true responsibility over himself and not be some tired corporate worker, part of a tired pointless system. Sure his choices weren't that great, and getting there was through outside manipulation and his own ignorance and he had to suffer immensely and pay an awful price of what we like to call his "humanity" but he Became and found what we all look for - his calling.
"It's still me" he says in the last episode. Because he is. He lost nothing and gained everything. Even dying in his lover's arms.
Forget about being human. In the end Jon achieves apotheosis and truly becomes Jonathan Sims
#i should relisten i feel like im talking out of my ass here lol#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#honestly im happy for jon good for him. i wish i could find apotheosis in my career#i feel in recent months ive become way more sympathetic to selfishness and so called inhumanity than i used to.#this world is leeching the concept of 'good' from me#its such an entitled concept of course you can be 'good' when the world makes it easy for you.#no dilemas or choises. root for the underdog and for so called 'justice'. okay bitch. imma focus on what and who i love now#this world be damned. which it already is whether i try to do better or not.#sorry rant over
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~ 𝚃𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎… ~
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝚃𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙻𝙴𝚃𝙾𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝚈 𝟷𝟺: 𝙰𝙵𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙼𝙰𝚃𝙷˚*• ̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙**· ̩̩̥͙
𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙷𝚞𝚛𝚝/𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝
𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟹,𝟹𝟾𝟶
𝙻𝚎𝚎: 𝙻𝚎𝚘 🐢💙
𝙻𝚎𝚛: 𝙳𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎 🐢💜
𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚖𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚑 𝚋𝚢 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙵𝚘𝚘𝚝…𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙻𝚎𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚝.
(𝙰/𝙽: 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒��𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢: 𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢! 𝚃*𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔/𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝙳𝙽𝙸!!!)
𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙲𝚞𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜, 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 (𝚂𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛 ✊🏾😔) 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜. 𝚈'𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚕𝚕: 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚔!!!
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙴𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢!!!˚*•̩̩͙✩•
“Alright...well, that wraps that up. You’re all good to go, Mikes.” Donnie said as he finished wrapping the youngest’s arm up in bandages.
The orange banded turtle smiled slightly, giving his immediate older brother a tight hug which the other gladly returned.
“Thanks…” The smaller turtle said, burying his face into the crook of the other’s neck as they embraced.
The scientist in purple smiled softly at the gesture, resting his chin on the top of the younger’s head, “It’s no problem. After all, it is what I do.” He said casually, slowly breaking away from the hug as he put the remainder of the bandages to the side of the Med-Bay counter.
Michaelangleo nodded, hopping down from the Med-bay bed and putting on his signature orange hoodie that was resting on a clothing hanger. Donatello let out a soft snort, raising an amused eyebrow ridge at his immediate younger brother, “Whahat’s with the random wardrobe change? You look like a bloated frog.”
The baby blue eyed turtle let out a feigned gasp, clutching his chest dramatically, “Fihirst ohof all: fuck you. And second of all: I look haaaandsome in this!” He huffed, “Don’t you agree, Leo?” The orange cladded teen said as he turned to the eldest who was sitting on the other bed.
But Leonardo did not make a sound…or…literally any acknowledgement that he even heard the youngest.
The leader in blue was looking at the tile floor; his eyes glossy as he fiddled with his fingers absentmindedly.
Donatello sighed, resting his hand on Mikey’s shoulder, “…Leo’s been…shaken up since the ambush; you know how he gets. He’s most likely making up a wholeeeee simulation in his head on how he could’ve 'protected us better…'”
Mikey hummed lightly, crossing his arms and looking at the eldest who was genuinely oblivious to the staring, “…What a weirdo…”
“Yeah…he is.” The young genius commented back, shaking his head fondly, “But he’s our weirdo.”
“Ohoooo no. Noooo no no no no. That was way too freaking cringy…even for you, Dee.” The younger teen fake-gagged, pretending to throw up as Donnie only snickered at the immature action.
This is what he gets for trying to be sentimental in front of his younger brother…
As the freckled face mutant continued with his antics, amping it up a million notches as Raph came in…the tallest turtle couldn’t help but catch a glance at his big brother once again.
Leo looked…so dejected…so…so lost.
Donnie exhaled sadly, rubbing his hand anxiously.
…Splinter would know what to do at a time like this…he always knew what to do at times like this…
Then…worried green eyes met an unsure russet.
Raphael walked to his immediate younger brother, squeezing his hand gently, “…You okay, Don…?”
Donatello cleared his throat, his free hand flapping near his thigh…
…God, he missed his Dad…
…He missed him so fucking much…
“I-I’m…fine. I’m fine.” The scientist insisted, gently squeezing his older brother’s hand back, “I just…need to patch up Leo and talk with him for a bit…”
“Aye aye 'Captain.” Mikey saluted, giving Donnie a quick peck on the cheek before skedaddling away to the lounge area.
The middle children rolled their eyes fondly at the youngest’s actions as the green eyed one of the three let go of the tallest’s hand, “…You sure you’re okay?”
“…Y-Yeah…y-yeah, I’m okay.” Donnie grimaced, “Now please go to Mike before he decides to blow up the entire lounge area…” He snickered lightly.
“Blowing up things is your job, Einstein. But I’m on it.” The elder snorted fondly, walking to the exit before turning his head slightly back to his brother, “Oh— and just so y'know: we’re watching Toy Story 3 in the living room in a couple of minutes.”
Donatello let out an amused huff, “…Ihis this your way of rushing me?”
“Mmmmm…kinda.” The red banded turtle hummed, shrugging slightly.
“Ihi’ll be as fast ahas I cahan, Raphie…” The taller turtle giggled as he watched his immediate older brother waltz out of the room, “Oh! And don’t start the movie without us!” He yelled from Med-Bay, closing the main doors as he turned all of his attention to his eldest brother…
…Oh. boy…
“Hey, big guy...” The scientist started off softly, slowly going over to his big brother with his signature med-kit.
The blue banded turtle looked up almost immediately at the sudden voice speaking to him, being forced out of whatever void he was staring into.
“Hey, Dee…” The elder smiled…although the smile looked more like a forced one…
…Donnie didn’t comment on it.
“Hey, man…” The younger greeted again, slightly cringing at the sound of his own awkwardness, “How’re you holding up?”
The smaller turtle blinked at the question, “I’m not…holding anything...”
Donatello snickered softly at the answer (a typical Leo answer), resting his med-kit on the table as he got out some bandaids and other supplies, “I mean, like…how are you doing? Are you doing alright?”
The blue banded teen shrugged, “I could…be better. But I’m with you guys, so…I can’t complain…that much anyway…” He finished bluntly.
“Amen to that.” The taller turtle hummed before turning back to his brother, “But before I start…is there anywhere that’s, like, really hurting that you want me to take a look at first? And most importantly: are you okay with me touching you right now or do you want to do the physical stuff later?” He asked as he grabbed his med-kit and a couple other unused washrags.
“Just my arms hurt, I guess. But it’s just from cuts…nothing major I don’t think.” Leonardo muttered, “And I’m okay with being touched right now…th-thanks for asking.”
Donatello chuckled softly, “Gotta make sure my big bro’s a-okay.” He grinned, giving the other a thumbs up and getting a disinfectant wipe as he cleaned the cuts on Leo’s arms.
Heavy silence weighed down the two, almost like a huge weighted blanket.
Accept this silence was not comforting in the slightest…
….It was loud…if that made sense.
“Soooo…” The taller turtle started, “The Foot took us by complete surprise, huh?” The young scientist exclaimed to try and start a subtle conversation, “You would think that after we beat them every. single. time…they would learn to back the fuck up…”
“Ow.” Leo muttered subtly as the russet eyed mutant cleaned a wound on his shoulder.
The younger grimaced, “Sorry…I’m being as gentle as I can.”
“Well, please be more gentle?” The other winced.
“Suck it up but also that’s what she said.” Donnie remarked sarcastically, getting more rubbing alcohol and putting it on the other’s shoulder before putting a bandaid on it.
The blue eyed mutant winced at the contact, glaring at the ground as scene’s from just an hour ago unfolded in his mind…
…Jesus fucking Christ…
…How could he have been so. damn. stupid…?
He was supposed to lead his brother’s to victory…not lead them to a legit ambush and straight up failure!!!
What would have Splinter said?
…What…could he have said?
They all could have died because of Leo’s own foolishness…
He had one job.
One fucking job: make sure his brother’s get out of every mission safe and unharmed…
But he couldn’t even protect himself when it came to it…
So what kind of delusions was he feeding himself to make himself even remotely think he could protect his family?
“Woah! Woah woah woah! Hey! Hey…” Donnie’s eyes widened in panic as his older brother slowly started to crumble to tears, although, the younger teen could tell that the eldest was desperatelytrying to hold them back despite his efforts.
“Leo, I-I was just joking about the whole 'suck it up' thing. Y-You know that…right? I was trying to be funny, which…o-obviously backfired.” The second youngest mumbled guiltily, holding Leonardo’s hands in his as he rubbed the top of his knuckles gently.
“I-It’s n-not that…” The shorter teenager mumbled back pathetically.
“So…what is it then…?” Donnie quietly asked, his grip on his brother’s hands tightening just a bit as the other refused to answer.
And almost like an everlasting reminder, the heavy silence weighed down on the two mutants once more.
“Leo…” The purple banded teen urged lightly as the eldest wiped his eyes with his free hand, sniffling as he looked at the ground, “I-It’s nothing…forget i-it.”
“Lee…” The taller turtle urged on.
“F-Forget it…please...” The eldest silently begged, wincing at how fragile and weak his voice sounded, “J-Just forget it.”
“I can’t 'forget' about something when it’s obviously bothering you…” Donatello smiled gently as he sat next to his brother on the bed, wrapping him in a loose side hug that left the smaller turtle to accept or deny…
…Which he very much accepted.
Leonardo rested his head on the other’s shoulder, squeezing his little brother closer to him like a lifeline.
“I just…” The sapphire eyed teenager sucked in a breath, blinking back tears as he buried his face into Donnie’s shoulder, “…I-I just worry so…much about you and Raph’s and Mikey’s and April’s and Casey’s safety and I…I just can’t!”He exclaimed, overall sadness and shame overcoming and overwhelming him immensely.
“Why…W-Why do I keep worrying about things that can’t be changed no matter what I do?!” The older mumbled, finding it quite humiliating how…brittle his voice was now.
But let’s be honest…it always did sound like that.
He was supposed to be calm.
He was supposed to be collected.
He was supposed to be calm and collected.
…Not…whatever this was.
“I was worried about going out on today’s mission and look what f-fuhucking happened!!!” The sapphire eyed teen laughed bitterly, hugging himself as if his own comfort was the only comfort he felt like he deserved at the moment, “We got ambushed by The fucking Foot…” He grumbled, glaring hatefully at the floor.
“I-I just want you all to be o-okay.” The leader in blue choked out, “I hate seeing you all hurt and only being able to do something about it after the event that caused said hurt has passed…”
The smaller mutant sniffled, wiping his face with his palm, “…Eheven then I can’t do much.”
“I-I j-just…” Leonardo stuttered, “I-I just w-want you all to be o-okay…”
And just like that…the berating silence visited once again, making Donnie stiffen almost like a stone hard wall as he looked at the other turtle’s completely downtrodden expression.
The taller teen reached to gently hold the other’s hand, and his eyes only softened more when his elder brother moved his hand out of his reach quickly and quietly.
The russet eyed mutant fidgeted with his fingers anxiously, “Leo…listen to me, please—”
“No…N-No, stop.” The sapphire eyed mutant said almost immediately, desperately trying to build back up the wall he built between him and his brother…
…Except this time instead of building this wall with cement…he built it without anything to support the bricks at all.
“It…I-It doesn’t matter, okay?” Leonardo sniffled, wiping his eyes desperately with one hand and digging his hand into his thigh. The taller teenager sighed sadly, scooting closer to his brother and holding his hand, squeezing it gently and reassuringly, “Yes…it does.” The younger said with a stern tone; not an angry one…just stern.
“I don’t want you to disregard your feelings, okay? This matters. Your feelings matter, Lee…” The taller said as he just now realized he still had the gloves he put on earlier on.
The second youngest of the mutant family quickly went to take off the disposable gloves and put them into the trash, going back to the bed and sitting next to Leonardo, interlocking his fingers with his.
And, man…
Leo’s hands were really ashy. Like…chalk ashy.
…Eugh.
Maaaaybe having those gloves on wasn’t such a bad idea…
The russet eyed mutant locked eyes with the smaller, making sure the other knew he meant every word he was saying, “This is about you right now, okay…?”
The blue banded teen stiffened slightly at the other’s sudden firm voice, looking down at his own knees as he rubbed his thigh with his free hand anxiously.
Donnie’s eyes softened once more for, like, the fourth time this hour at the eldest’s anxious demeanor, going into his pouch and giving his brother a stress ball, which the blue banded turtle gladly took.
The second youngest sighed, “I-I’m not angry at you, okay?”
The other looked at the taller doubtfully.
“Don’t look at me like that!!!” The russet eyed teenager huffed, “I might be frustrated that you’re pushing down your feelings in order to 'protect mine'…but I would never be mad at you.” He emphasized, “Never.”
But then, the purple banded teen then jokingly hummed in thought, lightly rubbing his brother’s knuckles with his fingers, “Well…there was that one time you swapped the house sprinkles and replaced them with salt for my ice cream…I was mad at you for that.”
And thank God Leo cracked a small smile; rolling his eyes and giggling slightly at the random comment, “Okahay thahat was an accident…”
“You put food coloring on the salt! 'Accident' my ass.”
The eldest just laughed harder at the memory, “Yohour fahahault fohor falling fohor ihit…”
The second youngest sighed dramatically, “Gaslighting the victim at its finest, I see.”
The purple banded turtle then lightly bumped his brother’s shoulder, squeezing his hand one last time, “I do need you to know, though…it gets better, Leo…okay?” Donnie said with..so much love and compassion and just utmost respect for his older brother.
“…Does it…?” The sapphire eyed teen murmured.
“It does.” The other assured, “I-I know it doesn’t feel like it right now…but it does.” He said, examining his brother’s readable but yet unreadable expression, “…You don’t believe me…”
“And why should I?” The other quietly and carefully asked.
“…Would I ever lie to you?”
“…No.” Leo concluded as he sniffled, resting his head on his brother’s shoulder as the taller mutant chuckled, “And I’m just gonna be blunt here…you’re a worrywart.” Donnie snickered.
“Hey!!” The young leader huffed.
“And you worry and stress about a lot of things.” The young genius exclaimed, “And that’s okay. But what’s not okay is you disregarding those feelings.”
“You’re our big brother for Christ sake! I would lowkey be kinda worried if you didn’t worry about us.” Donatello laughed, “But you have to trust that we’ll be okay in the end. We have each other…and personally? That’s all I really need…”
Leonardo’s eyes shined slightly, burying his face in his brother’s upper plastron, “L-Love you…”
“I love you too, shortie.” Donnie smiled softly as he gently squeezed the other against him before letting go and getting up to put the rest of the medical kit things away.
“So…how do I look Doc McStuffins?” The leader in blue grinned cheekily as he wiped away his excess tears.
The younger rolled his eyes fondly, “Okay, well first of all: fuck you. And second, your okay. Just a couple scratches…nothing major.” Donnie said as he disposed the rest of the dirty cloths and disinfectant wipes in the trash.
“But if I see you training at all for the next two weeks I will personally burn your entire Space Heroes action figure collection.” Donatello huffed.
Leonardo’s eyes widened, “…You wouldn’t.”
Donatello raised a brow, smirking, “Wanna bet?”
The eldest sighed in defeat, looking down at the ground and pouting slightly, “No…”
Donatello chuckled at the other’s demeanor, going in front of him and holding his hands gently, “But you have to promise me something.”
“Hm?”
“Talk to someone if you feel shitty about yourself or something!” The purple banded turtle huffed, flicking his brother’s forehead, “You know better than anyone else here that bottling up feelings just ends up badly.”
“And put some damn lotion on. Your hands are ashy as hell.” The russet eyed teenager said, holding back a snort as his older brother stammered over his words at the random order.
“Wohoah wooooah, pause pause pause!” The blue banded turtle giggled, waving his hands, “I thought we were having a moment!”
“We were!” The russet eyed mutant laughed, “I just need you to put some cream on. It’s bothering me!”
“Everything bothers you…” The leader in blue grumbled under his breath, getting up from the bed and getting lotion which was on one of the desk tables. “Better?” The older said sassily as he put the cream on, raising an eye ridge to the taller teenager who just snickered in amusement by his sassiness.
“Much better, ash baby.” The taller chuckled, sitting down on the bed as the smaller followed.
“So…what now?” The sapphire eyed teen hummed.
“Well, I dunno if you heard but Raph and Mikey wanted to watch Toy Story 3…” Donnie said.
“Of course they did…” Leo laughed fondly, “And here I thought I cried enough today…”
“…You sure you’re okay, though…?” The other asked.
“I mean, yeah…” The sapphire eyed mutant shrugged, “I just wish I knew what to do when stuff like this happens…”
“…Like Dad did?” Donnie mumbled.
“Like Dad did.” Leo nodded, sharing a small smile of remembrance with the younger.
Donatello nodded, getting up for a quick second as he took off his mask and washed his hands in the Med-bay sink. The eldest quickly and quietly followed, washing his hands as well before drying them.
And…remember the silence?
The shell crushing berating silence that he couldn’t stand for more than 0.1 seconds…?
…Well, it was gone now…
But it was replaced with comfort. And quite personally that was way better than just straight up awkwardness…
Leonardo put on a comfy hoodie as his sibling did the same, the both of them ready for the movie night about to unfold but…not quite ready.
If that made sense.
“Awkward sibling hug?” The russet eyed teen said as he stretched his arms out, causing his sibling to chuckle, rolling his eyes.
“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.” The sapphire eyed mutant laughed fondly. “I was making a reference!” Donatello exclaimed as he pouted slightly. “Just come here!”
The shorter turtle just fondly rolled his eyes once more, embracing his younger brother. Donatello gave the other a comforting kiss on the cheek, causing the blue cladded teenager to stifle a small giggle.
“JESUS! Dohon!” The older one shouted, hiding his face in his brother’s shoulder before letting out a small snort, “Noho Dohon whyhy…?”
“Because I love you? Duh.” The other laughed, holding his sibling against his plastron tighter as his free hand danced around the leader’s sides.
“Ihi knohow thahat!” Leo squealed, “Yohou don’t need to fuhucking kihihiss me to show IHIHAT! SNRT NONOHOH WAHAIT!!” He cried as his brother pinched up and down his ribs like a harp. “IHI CAHAN’T!!”
“IIIiIIiI cAaAaaan’t..” The young genius teased.
The leader’s face turned the lightest of pink, shaking his head back and forth as he squirmed, “DOHON’T MIHIHIMICK SNRT MEEHEE!” He demanded.
“Been there, done that.” The other shrugged casually, giving small kisses in the crook of the smaller’s neck, causing the smaller in question giggle’s to raise a million octaves.
“EHEHEHEW!!!” Leonardo complained through cackles, “SCREHEHEW AHAFF!!”
“Notice how you’re still in the hug though.” Donnie commented, stopping and giving the other a quick squeeze before letting him go.
“Shuhut snrt up…” The sapphire eyed mutant huffed, almost jumping out of his shell as the second youngest poked him one more time before opening his phone notifications.
Text from 'RAPH-A-HELL', 2 minutes ago:
'WHAT IS TAKING YOU GUYS SO DAMN SO LONG DID LEO LOSE A LIMB OR SOME SHIT???!!??}{{>'
Donnie sighed as he texted his older brother back, sighing louder as his other older brother peered over his shoulder to see who he was texting.
Nosy ass…
'We’ll be right there, Raphie 😗'
'YOU SAID THAT AN HUPOUR AD FITENN MINUTES AGO 😡😡😡😡😡🥺'
'*😡!!!!'
Leo quickly snatched the phone from Donnie’s grip, quickly typing something before handing it back.
'Yeah yeah Mr. Cranky we’re coming 🤡🤡🤡🤡👺👺👺🤑🤑🤠👹👿😈👾💩👻'
Donnie held back a snicker as he looked at the text, putting his phone in his pocket as Leo grinned in satisfaction. “Lemme guess…” Leonardo hummed, “He left us on read.”
“Can you blame him? Those emojis you put looks like they came straight from hell…” The taller remarked as they walked out of the Med-bay, heading to the living room.
#Lee!Leo#Ler!Donnie#Tmnt 2012 tickle#Tmnt 2012 tickle fic#Tmnt 2012 tickle fanfiction#Lee!Leonardo#Ler!Donatello#This fanfic is the bane of my damn existence.#THE ENDING WAS SO RUSHED 😀…#BUT ANYWAY#There is legit no content of that two and as a fandom we NEED to do better#THEY’RE SO 🥹💞🩷💝💕🫶🏾🎉#There wasn’t a lot of tickling in this one tho#Sorry guys 🫡#Had to be frfr for a quick sec…#R.I.P. TO KING SPLINTER YOU ARE MISSED#I love writing characters being affectionate with each other…#Am I projecting my siblings realtionships?????? PFGGDGWGAHHAJA NOOOOOO…ofc not.#If there are any errors imma just 😵🔫#This fic is so fucking…ugh#Not my best work#But I feel lowkey bad cuz I have been keeping my fics behind a cage lately#SO BEHOLD‼️‼️‼️#Tmnt tickle#Tickletober#Tickletober 2024#IM TRYING WITH THIS NONSENSE OKAY#Sfw tickle#Sfw tickle blog#Sfw tickle fic
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Fuck it the second I get my iPad back and my period ends I’m just doing my own sketchbook week (it’s the exact same as normal sketchbook week but it’s a week later and the universe stops trying to kill me)
#I cannot. do an entry today because#and this is going to sound so pathetic LMAO#I do not have the strength in my fingers to draw on my phone#and I can’t hold the thought required ?? like it makes me focus on the pain too much#and I can’t sit at my desk to draw on paper#because pain#and I can’t write because to write I need silence and when there’s silence all I can focus on is the pain#it is not my week!!!#I’m hoping my iPad will be back by the end of this week though#and then I want to go back and do the prompts the next week#because I had so many ideas!#so yeah it won’t be official hashtag branded sketchbook week but imma try and do it anyways#textpost#blethering#sketchbook week 2024#will still try and participate this week if I’m feeling better before it ends though!#but I won’t be able to the prompts to the best of my ability regardless#so I want to try again when my old is better and I actually can lol
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I wish Zanes suits had less grey in them, I just think it blends in too much…on the other hand,,
I WILL be making Zanes climbing suit sleeveless
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#like the fishnets look like he got his thighs out and about#or patterns#whatever they are#i know what they was trying to do#but imma do it better#ninjago#zane julien#ninjago zane
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This is something my friend and I like to call School Bullshit (Basically just School Doodles)
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The next two are lyrics from Karma by AJR
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LEADER DEVIN WON'T LEAVE MY BRAIN
#imma go night night#I'm so tired#i might try to do more comics with this ending if people are interested#i need to get better at making and formatting comics anyway#i also want to try and do lore stuf for Reg and Right's past#thsc#the henry stickmin collection#henry stickmin collection#art#traditional art#thsc oc#devin copperbottom(thscoc)#carter miller(thscoc)#thsc reginald copperbottom#reginald copperbottom#thsc rhm#henry stickmin rhm#rhm#thsc right hand man#right hand man
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Part 2 of the homecorp crossover and Roxy has entered the arena!
Roxy takes the place of Benjamin/Hokma, so old woman REAL!!
#homestuck#lobotomy corporation#roxy lalonde#mom lalonde#tfw ur bestie thinks u would do better as a robot instead#im on a roll with this stuff! imma try n do rose!binah next n then the tiphereth finally bc idk who else to do?#half a thought of doing john as chesed and jane as hod but its all up in the air
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hey, image of my beasts coming up sometime tonight in like a few hours, if not check back tomorrow in my art blog, it should be there by then
#it's so fucking over for you all#i will show you my beasts and your world will come crumbling down upon you#you will love them#and if you dont. well#let's just say there won't be a happy ray over here. i will be sad and i will cry#and you will feel so bad#why am i trying to guilt y'all into it actually the bit isn't that funny#sorry im just feeling like#being annoying about things#(it's a sign im actually doing well :3)#and that i'm thriving creatively and wh#an uh#getting better at like#wht's it called#social#socializing#something like that#anyways love y'all#hope you like my art when it does come out dw about not seeing it or anything tho fr#just hope that whoever does see it ends up liking it :3#yeah so uh#idk#imma go i guess#*turns around to leave and trips on a branch straight into a hole nearby*#AAAAAAAaaa..........
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#thanks for the dm dana sjfdhsjdfs#genuinely like all the fatigue of the past few months hit all at once this morning and when im overly stressed my mental health#gets bad. like really really bad#it was nice 2 laugh abt something ridiculous ajkhjkdfsdh#fnaf#spacie scribbles#at first this was gonna be springtrap talking 2 me but it makes more sense if its you lmaoksjdfkslfdj#i dont remember what your sona looks like forgive me 😭#and i didnt wanna dig something up for this shitpost so#i shuld learn 2 draw gore so that when i feel really bad like this i can draw characters getting hurt#genuinely think that would make me feel better#well. ig ik what imma be spending the rest of tonight doing#imagine being such a pathetic old decrepit creature that a couple plastic balls are all it takes ta destroy you#i could beat his ass. its canonically possible for me ta beat his ass#i wouldnt even hafta try that hard#buddy. you're DONE#also his hips.....#damn#thighs are a weakness of mine like dude.#look at his shit bro. this is fucking ludicrous#the way his stance is#auuugh#sickening
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Siblings! 🩷💖💜🩵
More of Nayla's family bc why not? Always make me happy to draw them so yee!
(Peeb, JayJay and Sky design belong to my bestie @soundleer)!
#sprunki#sprunki art#sprunki oc#sprunki sona#sprunki sky#sprunki nayla#sprunki peebii#sprunki jaylene#siblings#my situation from groomers still continues without stop so i decide to make this for feel better and yeah i feel better#but also i was talking with my bestie bc i need motivations and with they words really help me again yee#i love them so much the siblings are the best and they fathers too whee 🩷💖💜🩵💙🤎#nayla sometimes might feel lonely but he must know his never gonna be alone since he have his bestie toki and his family too#he also have his aunt with is pinki his mother vineria and... his father black even if's not there sbsksks but still the power of the family#i try to make a heart even if looks kinda but bestie love it so hyee#soon when i'm free from school and work imma keep doing request and answering question from my inbox (is still open so go ahead y'all free)
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What illegal downloads from sketchy websites and someone you miss leads to
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#I think this could be a very good au#Y’know. To make fugo suffer. When have I wished him good. Fuck him. He ruins my life. (Affectionately)#Virus Nara….. Is he a virus tho….. bc wdym there’s a virus of ur late best friend out there in the internet#Maybe he possessed fugos pc bc he let him play games on it… idk… I added a file icon w his games in the drawing just bc I thought it’d#Be funny but. Who’s to say it’s not a FNAF animatronic possession thing. Without the agony.#Actually no there is agony from fugo. I mean. Isn’t it like bad energy and strong emotions. Just that the animatronics also had melted meta#hold on lemme cook here#Jjba x FNAF except narancia is literally just in FNAF AR pc version (doesn’t exist) and haunts fugo#(I promise imma try to take it a bit more seriously 😭)#Still sobbing and I haven’t even finished watching tomb of the fireflies or whatevz.#Literally played my feelings. Snatched my heart. Tore it in half. Cut the halves to pieces. Boiled it into soup. And fed it to me.#Do not watch this fucking movie. Ghibli I hate you for this. Stop making me cry.#Also this au might just be sad fugonara. Maybe platonic maybe romantic. I do not know#But I really like the idea of Nara forever haunting fugo. Like yes guyboss torment ur boyloser after death ‼️#Narancia prob thinks he’s just being silly and funny like before he died but fugo is absolutely terrified having a mental breakdown over it#Actually that gives me so many ideas. I have more sadness to cause (to myself and my kitty witties).#I love the word digital. Digital bath. Digital footprint. Digital torment from your dead best friend.#(or crush. Or boyfriend. I don’t know what they are. It’s just fugonara. /p /rom (is /rom a thing))#I JUST REALIZED I YAPPED SM IN TAGS HELP#jjba#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojo’s bizarre adventure#narancia ghirga#au#alternate universe#fugonara au#also ignore the fact I will mainly be drawing in my agenda I don’t have anything better to draw on in school#(I do have loose leaf sheets but I hate how thin they are and it’s easier to get caught drawing on them :/)#I wish I had more time to live#Traditional art
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today, cupimon prays for your happiness too.
#digimon#cupimon#oc:elise#made myself draw more personal oc art when not working on comms haha#tbh the motivation behind this was a moment of weakness. like. wanting people to tell you you have done well and everything will be ok#but i also want to heal others that way. it's complicated. the world only seems to get harsher and harsher#holy or angel type digis are good picks for such and cupimon are adorable#imma be realistic this is a pretty tough time to be alive. let's not even try to compare with past eras or the like#the truth is so many of us are struggling so friggin hard we don't even know it anymore bc it's become so routine to our life#but it's honestly? really twisted? if you think of it that way. we're so used to suffering in life. it's so sad.#can only hope things get better someway. somehow. may good news even a little arrives to each of yall this week#btw really sorry folks. after the ai fiasco this site has gotten itself into i'm gonna post even lower res version for my newer works jic#artists writers creatives. do stay safe. keep yourselves and your work safe as much as you can#do what you need to do regardless it matters to you or not ok!#png
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Im scared ngl. I don't know what to do. I'm hugging you all right now
#i know i said im not the biggest fan of venting and stuff but i really need to get that off my chest im sorry#i hope everyone is doing okay because im scared for myself and everyone#i wanna lay down and not talk but i have school today and i have to present somethiiiinngggg >:[#im probably gonna take a quick break working on art requests to make some other art to feel a little better#im sorry yall#vent post#vent#apologetically rambling#everyone be sure to take deep breaths drinknwater eat something and take a minute for yourself(ill also do this myself)#its good to take a minute#if you need a break take a break#i hope everyones day is filed with at least a bit of positivity <3#imma try and make some silly posts to make yall and myself smile :]#sorry i get anxious easily :<
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{ Just got back into the swing of writing again on another blog only to find out my grandma is in the hospital for heart issues. First it was my grandpa and now it's my grandma. I'm honestly starting to believe that things really can just keep getting worse instead of better cause nothing ever seems to get better over here. }
#tw; negative#tw; vent#{ Everything just wants to jump on top of me today. }#{ 'Don't worry! Things will get better!' Yeah I don't think so. }#{ It's been one thing after the other lately and honestly? It makes me not wanna do anything anymore. }#{ Catch me throwing myself off a cliff because what else can I do? }#{ Don't mind me trying to cover my irritation with humor. }#{ It's a habit. }#{ And any anons who wanna try to be rude about this or tell me to shut the fuck up- }#{ Y'all couldn't be further from my mind. Like... I don't care about your existence. }#{ You could catch on fire and I would not care because you're clearly a piece of shit anyway so burn. }#{ No skin off my back and I will literally tell you that. }#{ Trust me when I say that I can be ten times more cruel than you can. }#{ I just don't show it here on Tumblr. }#{ But yeah. Regardless... Imma turn your mouth off anyway so if you have something to say to mommy- You can say it to her face. }#✠ [ ' ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴅs ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ᴅᴏᴏʀs. ' ] - ✡ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ✡
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one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t
#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap#bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU#lol idk why my head is so bad today#the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it#i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!!#but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do#oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse#sorry guys needed to rant#the inadequacy was strong today#something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like#i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me.#and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but#my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m#missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids#who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me#for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just—#sorry#that felt good actually#idk what came over me#imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags#sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh#okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is
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I don't think I can keep being open minded to n@tl@n guys
#I'm trying so hard to like the fucking region but every time I played the game within that region I feel so mad#I'm trying out the new area n the new creature is just so lacklustre#Tbh I think the design r pretty/cute but playing as them??? Ugh UGH#How do make flying awful#That mechanic broke on me??! I was stuck having to float down to the water lvl cuz I wasn't at right lvl to hit the mountain top#N for some reason the movement for it was locked in one direction so I couldn't even try n turn to get to closer area orz#I know it was just a glitch BUT AFTER having to find that creature only for it not to work? Piss off omg#Also there so much mountain n okay fine I understand that the region design ig#But having wave point be at the highest place where u need to have one of the creatures to even get there if u don't have the correct chara#Character?? Insane fuck you#Ngl this makes me want to not pull any fucking characters out of principal/only pulled the archon cuz I'm guessing she gonna have all movem#In this game so what even the point of the other characters for movement#Feels like it punishing ppl for not pulling lacklustre characters or not being whales n not caring where Ur spending money#I don't care how 'good' the story is if the exploring part of your games is so garbage without the characters/until the archon is released#CUZ WHAT DO U MEAN YOUR EXPLORING GAME IS NOW BEHIND A FCKING PAYWALL#this is not a 'this character makes exploring easier in general' this is straight just needing a character or u can't explore this area eas#I'm not looking forward to any new areas in this region cuz what the point if I can't enjoy playing a game#This is worse than when in@zum@ had a lightening island#At least I could get that sht turn off when I played a story quest#Maybe I would like the region better if by doing the story quest the exploring in this region would be easier#Ugh#I remember seeing a tweet of somebody saying 'well Ur not playing the new story/area so of course u won't like it u haven't played it!'#Shaking them violently cuz I'm playing!! I'm reading!! This place sucks!! Gimmick is awful!!#Praying for the next region to not rely on this kinda shit#I know it probs gonna have the frostbite like dragonspine but imma be honest? Dragonspine is so much more enjoyable to explore than n@tl@n#W it gimmick
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