#imma stay delusional until it stops working

[peachyologist]

this tiktok ban is so stupid, how am i suppose to find edits of my interest and other shit

[tiredfox64]

Alright I'll bite

First of, take care of yourself before I motherfucking wrap you in a blanket and make you a burrito, and make you take rest /threat

Second...

Lin kuei trio brothers..., with a reader, whos just small LIKKKEEEEE, theyre just small 😋😋😋, the trio having hard time to keep them in one place and safe

Alright thanks for listening to my crazy delusional take

Stay Put Please!

Yip notes: “Alright I’ll bite” you’ve been biting. I want to make a certain joke but then I feel like it will not land well so I’ll just say…

Pairings: Lin Kuei Bros x Gn reader

Warnings‼️: Imma keep you and put you with my trinkets have fun with Gudetama

You absolute scoundrel, you’re gonna give the men heart attacks. Where did you go this time?

Tomas was very careful with his steps. It was his turn to watch over you and prevent you from running off again. That doesn’t work out when you are as small as a rat and you have the skills of an assassin. You can disappear at any moment. Freaking escape artist.

He looked away from you for a second so he could train and you took that opportunity to run away. You have nothing against Tomas, you just don’t like being babysat. So although you are safe, Tomas doesn’t feel safe. Bi-Han is gonna kill him when he figures out he lost you.

He’s damn near dragging his feet because he is afraid of possibly stepping on you. His ears are carefully listening to everything, hoping he will be lucky enough to hear your small footsteps or even scratching.

“Please, come out. If you come out now I’ll give you a treat.” He offered.

Heh, he’s treating you like an animal. Like you’re so simple as to leave your hiding spot just for a-

“I’ll give you some chocolate.”

Oh hell yeah.

Just then, Kuai Liang walked into the room and saw his brother looking frantically.

“What is the matter? You seem to be in a panic.” He said while walking closer.

Tomas put his hands up to prevent Kuai Liang from moving around. He didn’t want to risk the chances of you being stepped on. Kuai Liang was unsure of what was happening until he saw your tiny body running up to Tomas. You stared up at him with your eyes wide. You awaited your treat. You even held your hand out to signal him to give it to you. Give the chocolate! You looked like you’re about to burst into tears if you didn’t receive it.

“Kuai Liang, go get some chocolate from the kitchen area,” Tomas told him.

“…We do not have chocolate. We ran out.”

“You liars!” You yelled at both of them. What did Kuai Liang do? He just walked in.

You turned around and started scattering. You were like a tarantula in a panic. You were moving in a zigzag pattern. Your small size allowed you to move quickly. Your small feet thumped against the ground like rain on a drum. Tomas and Kuai Liang went into a panic as they tried to keep their eyes on you.

Without thinking, Tomas threw his smoke bomb across the room. It smacked against the wall and busted into a large cloud of gray smoke. You stop since you know it would be risky to walk into that mess. It would be like walking into Black Sunday during the Dust Bowl. That gave Kuai Liang enough time to scoop you up and lift you up. You were forced to look at his disappointed expression as he nodded his head.

“You do understand that we are doing this to keep you safe, right?” He asked.

“I’m a grown adult, I don’t need you to watch over me.” Really? You’re grown?

“You are small. You can easily go missing and possibly get hurt. We cannot risk that.” Especially with how important you are to Bi-Han.

Surprisingly, Bi-Han finds you to be an important part of the clan. Your small size is useful. You can easily sneak around and gain information without anyone knowing. The only downside is your rebellious side. You need to rebel and run around the place. You’ve almost gotten yourself killed because of that. You’ve almost been stomped, kicked, smacked, and attacked by other small creatures. That’s why Bi-Han and his brothers need to keep an eye on you. They can’t save you from every golden orb-weaver you encounter.

Kuai Liang decided to take over so Tomas could continue training. He walked out of the room with you in the palm of his warm hands. This is the only time you will stay still since he is so warm. It’s like being in a heated bed that surrounds you with comfort. He would have liked to keep you in his hands to prevent you from being a menace but he had to use both hands for what he had to do. He was hungry and he had to cook.

He placed you down on the counter in the kitchen area before looking around to see what he could cook. He handed you a cracker to distract you from making a devious plan in your head. Don’t choke on the cracker by shoving it into your cheeks. He will smack your back to make you spit it out. You watched him walk around and collect vegetables to chop up.

As he began to chop the vegetables he would occasionally stop to look at you. The knife would hit the cutting board constantly before stopping abruptly and then continuing. He needed to keep an eye on you. But there you were, munching away innocently on a cracker.

Of course, the moment he looks away from you…you are gone once again. Kuai Liang slammed the knife down as he started looking around. You were just on the counter! He saw your little body running over to the stove. You leaned down and pressed down on the stove’s knob to turn it sideways. A fire ignited behind you, the flames flicker and wave towards you. Yet you are oblivious to the danger you put yourself in.

“You stop right there!” He yelled, but when do you ever listen?

Kuai Liang watched in horror and frustration as you leap onto the flat part of the knob. You took another leap and hoped to land successfully. To your surprise, you landed in the warm hands of Kuai Liang. That man threw himself forward to catch you.

When you looked at Kuai Liang his eyes burned greater than the flames on the stove. He was not displeased by your antics. His hand went up to turn the stove off before he got back on his feet.

“Why did you try to run away again?” He asked.

“I didn’t want to sit there anymore. It’s cold and hard.”

Kuai Liang didn’t say another word. He walked off with you to somewhere else in the temple. You apologize to him since you were being a little stinker.

You saw him walking over to Bi-Han as he watched over the others as they trained. Bi-Han was surprised to see his brother walking towards him with a serious expression on his face. Kuai Liang grabbed Bi-Han’s hand and placed you onto his palm.

“It’s your turn.” He said bluntly before walking off.

Bi-Han nabbed the back of your shirt and lifted you off his hand. He glared at you because he knew what Kuai Liang meant. You drove him and Tomas worried sick. Now it was up to Bi-Han to handle you.

“You have caused enough chaos for today. I have a solution to your little schemes.” There was a certain darkness to his tone. A message saying ‘I won’t let you get away with this’.

You heard the jingling of something metal. You were placed down on a table before Bi-Han started to move your arms around. You were unsure of what he was doing but you felt something slip onto you. A click was heard and when you looked down you saw he put a harness on you.

My gosh, he’s putting a leash on you. One of those leashes and harnesses that they put on rats or squirrels.

He placed you down on the ground and everyone was observing you. Some thought it was silly while others thought it was cute. Come on, look at that angry glare. You could kill a man with that stare if you were full size. Bi-Han told everyone to continue on and he told you to act good. He didn’t need you getting hurt.

And what do you—YEAH I BET YOU START ACTING UP AGAIN!

You didn’t want to be tied down. What is this, a marriage?! You won’t stand for this. You tried to walk off but even taking one step made Bi-Han yank you back. He had no shame in doing that. You were pushing your limits, it’s time to slow down.

Running around his legs won’t do anything either, you’re just upsetting him more. You would run around and the leash would tighten around his legs. Once there was no more you’d fall down with a thud sound being produced. He didn’t even yank that was on you. You’d get right back up and do the same thing except in the other direction. It almost worked too. You were driving him insane to the point he almost unleashed you. But you tired yourself out. Your little body could only hold so much energy. Bi-Han noticed that you were barely moving. He looked down to see you sitting on the floor, slightly swaying as you struggled to sit upright. Bi-Han picked you up gently and held you in his hand for the remainder of the training session.

After that was done he went looking for his brothers. He found Kuai Liang and Tomas sitting together. Kuai Liang managed to make his food and Tomas was napping. All that worrying made him tired. Bi-Han placed you on the table and finally took the harness off. Kuai Liang was confused but didn’t feel like asking. He already had an idea of what happened. The tiny harness was cute though.

“How did you make them so tired, brother?” Kuai Liang asked.

“I did not do that. It was their decision that made them tired.”

Bi-Han started rummaging around the cabinets. He pulled out a large chocolate bar that was still wrapped in the silver wrapping. Okay so Kuai Liang was a liar there was chocolate. He broke off a tiny piece before giving it to you. Hopefully, that sugar will fully knock you out.

You used up your remaining energy to nibble at the chocolate piece. A wonderful treat to have after being a menace for a whole day. You rested your body against Tomas’ resting face and indulged in the chocolate. You only got halfway through before you started to close your eyes. Your grip on the chocolate piece grew loose until it tumbled out of your hands. Alright, that’s pretty cute, even to Bi-Han.

Kuai Liang helped to clean your mouth up from the chocolate stains that were left. He was about to pass your sleeping body to Bi-Han before he stopped him.

“Is there any way to prevent them from escaping in the morning? I do not want to look for them in the morning just because they wanted breakfast early.” No rest for the wicked.

Kuai Liang took a moment to look around to see if he could use anything to hold you in place. He got a brilliant idea when he spotted a hand towel. He grabbed it and immediately wrapped you in it. He literally rolled you and tightened it. He gave you back to Bi-Han who was intrigued. I mean, if it works it works.

He said goodnight to Kuai Liang before returning to his room. You’re forced to stay in Bi-Han’s room since you can’t be trusted to have your own. Your grandmaster has to keep an eye on you.

He walked over to your makeshift hammock that was in a cage. Yes, he knows you can manage a way to escape the cage. You’ve done it dozens of times. He gave up closing the door.

He placed you in your hammock and slightly swung you to make sure you’d stay sleeping. What a long day. At least Bi-Han doesn’t have to worry about you being gone in the morning. You seem pretty snug as a bug in that towel. He doesn’t want you getting hurt. This world is literally too big for you. Getting hurt is not an option.

Do the men a favor and play nice. You’re gonna send Tomas to an early grave. You’re gonna be the end of Kuai Liang’s life. You’re gonna give Bi-Han a heart attack. Please oh please be good and listen. Don’t go making an alliance with the rodents in the walls.

Do it, it would be so slay because I said so.

Yap notes: So I started one fanfic, wasn't hitting, tried to do another and it didn't hit, got chest pains and took my medicine incorrectly, woke up sad, decided to do this fanfic to make me happy, and now I'm posting at midnight. Bon appétit. I was actually gonna start this a bit ago when one of my wounds reopened because I thought that was my signal but I waited. I ended up accidentally getting hurt in the same area on the other side of my body so I thought fuck it I should do this. I...I'm not good self care I think. Oh well. Adiós!

[lpfreakification]

My age has caught up

Im 30.

I've turned 30 last month but was super busy with school that I didn't have the time to process it.

Having this free time this week b4 I plan out what I wanna do in July, I think im overwhelmed with options.

Reading this BL in the past hour doesn't help with my emotions. They make them go haywire. God, boys are cute 😭

My timing is terrible when it comes to dating. I think it was 2 or 3 years ago now that I read a BL manga called Love Doctor that got me into a spiral of emotions + an overwhelming longing for a boyfriend. I did try. He was alright. I could do better. Then school started.

This feels selfish of me wanting a boyfriend just to recreate fluffy yaoi moments. That's a delusional way of thinking, Perla! *whines*

From experience, I do have ideas:

Step 1: Go to a place of frequent visits (such as internet, Tumblr, school, computer lab, library, lobby, coffee place, restaurant, workplace???)

Step 2: Do my doodle thing until someone walks up to you + compliments them

Step 3: intros

Step 4: talk about work/hobbies

Step 5: Repeat steps 1 - 4

Step 6: Exchange contact info once u get comfortable/confident, when your face lights up when the other person arrives, or can't stop thinking about them.

... + idk. I never gotten as far as that 😅 I remember one piece of advice I was told that I struggle with, + suck at: follow-up/following up. Why does it have to take so much energy 😫

I feel troubled. I know that I don't really like to give, just take. Eventually, I will have to learn to give more often. I constantly think to myself that I'm gonna give them something in return for what they've given me. In the end, I can never physically execute those thoughts, and I end up wallowing in bed in guilt.

Either:

- depending on future boyfriend, I'd do anything

- stay the same

- feels the same way + we can both agree not to spend on each other but for ourselves.

...

Man, what am I doing with my life this week, wasting away in bed? I guess I'm just being lonely as hell since the wedding two weeks ago. Dammit, the cute aggression is stirring up.

Also, aren't I supposed to be taking a break after two months of animation grinding, too?

I... don't have a good work-life balance. I've explained this so many times, so I'll skip it. Hmmm, little bit of things here, little bit of things there, + a few days off for myself to do absolutely, positively nothing.

I do have an ideal routine that worked out so perfectly when I had an internship in 2020:

I did get the right idea of starting animation work at 8 am. After my sister's wedding, I started taking my meds earlier at 5:20 in the morning. Huh, the 9pm hour is still an accurate time for chilling. I have been falling asleep earlier than usual nowadays, b4 11pm.

...

Since I'm here, let's organize my ideas.

- KH:DDD

- Kickboxing

- School stuff

- Improving on some animations, need a specific list for that

- Haircut

Those are my main points. There's bound to be more little things in between that may come along the way. Like, my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow morning, the local annual 4th of July Parade, + Traverse City, Michigan in August (more details when the date draws near).

...

I'm feeling a bit better now that I got these thoughts out of my system :)

Imma go grab a cheesecake from the kitchen X)

Yep!

[seokjinsonlyone]

OPEN DISCUSSION IS OFFICIALLY OPEN!!!DELUSIONAL HOURS COMMENCED!! the topic on tonight’s table?

u gotta pick a member of your choosing and then create a 7 song bts playlist about ur relationship tell me why you chose each song and how it relates to your relationship as always i’ll go first

the member i choose is OF COURSE✨ seokjin ✨ gotta keep the flame alive while my baby doing his thing gotta let the hoes know he still accounted for 🤧 GOTTA SPEAK OUR TRUTH

FIRST SONG UP IS embarrassed/blanket kick!!! like we would just have soooo much pining in the beginning to be honest but like lowkey pining not lowkey enough that the people who know us best are oblivious but lowkey nonetheless and like we’d be acting awkward around each other tryna figure out who gon make a move first (not me) and like the timing just gon be off for a bit and there’s gonna be the subtle flirting until he goes for it <333

next up is butterfly and i know what you may be thinking like DANG ALREADY???? like THESE LYRICS????

Will you stay by my side/Will you promise me/If I let go of your hand, you'll fly away and break/I'm scared scared scared of that/Will you stop time/If this moment passes/As though it hadn't happened/I’m scared scared scared I'll lose you

but yes <333 we not casual people and all the pining will have gotten to us and it’s gon be like omg 😱 we wanted this so bad what if it doesn’t work? should we just stay friends? i’d rather keep you where you are then escalate this if that’s a possibility like we’re gonna be scared but we finna work through it take the leap of faith

THENNN 21st century girls!!! something cute for the kids something light for the summer time we’ve worked out most of our complexes surrounding the relationship and i just feel like seokjin would have the energy like being my hype man you know like always flirting telling me i’m beautiful encouraging my own individuality this that and the third he’s fun!! he’s a dream!! he’s a man written by a woman!! MY man written for ME specifically 🤨

WE’VE REACHED THE CREST OF BREAKUP ARC in the form of moon like okay you would NOT think that this would lead to our breakup but like FUN FACT!!! i have abandonment and trust issues it’s true 💔 the hot girl’s hamartia like imma get overwhelmed by his affections for me and like how much trust he has in me bc like these lyrics

Though everyone says I'm beautiful/But my sea is all black/A star where flowers bloom and the sky is blue/You are the truly beautiful one/Suddenly I wonder/Are you also looking at me right now? (Oh)/Won't you find out all my painful wounds? (Oh)/ I'll orbit around you/ I'll stay by your side/ I'll be your light/ All for you

LIKE THATS A LOT FOR SOMEONE WITH ABANDONMENT ISSUES AND LIKE and i’d be like woah woah what did i even do to deserve all that we gotta we gotta chill idk if i can do this that’s right i’m the villain of my own story <\3

BUT FRET NOT BC love is not over like at the end of the day he not gon let a good thing (me) go 💁🏾‍♀️ neither of us are tbh it’s gonna take some time to get there tho like we’re both gonna have to take time to evaluate the relationship and ourselves and i feel like it’s gonna be one of those things where it’s like we gonna meet up for closure but end up with us being like why the HECK are we hurting for no reason like if being apart feels like this let’s just be together

and when all that’s said and done we have outro propose 🥳🥳🥳 that’s right guys we’re getting MARRIED!!! 👰🏾‍♀️🤵🏻‍♂️ even tho i’m the earth to his moon he still wants to give me the world the solar system the galaxy it’s true i’m his everything and he’s mine too and we gonna reminisce on our journey and live happily ever after 💕💞💖

SO WE’RE WRAPPING IT ALL UP WITH best of me!!! now let me tell u about this song like it’s just one that always shocks me bc i usually don’t like songs that sound like this like the edm type feel but i’ve ALWAYS really liked this song like every time it would come up on shuffle i’d be surprised about how i genuinely love it but still bc it’s not the usual sound i gravitate toward i don’t typically CHOOSE to put it on so tbh i never looked up the english translation like SUE ME BTS HAS A GAJILLION SONGS AND THEY ALWAYS MAKING MOVES CANT BE ON TOP OF EVERYTHING but when i was looking up the lyrics for this my jaw was on the freaking floor like the DEVOTION held within these lyrics oh me OH MY like need me some of that desperately like if you’ve never looked up the translation or if it’s been a while I SINCERELY URGE YOU TO DO SO like i can’t put everything here but

I used to rain/I used to snow/I stop all the misfortune/ And I bring the heavens/ Don't speak of it so lightly/ There's no me without you/ You're the best of me, the best of me, yeah

like knees on da ground head in my hands world shook aura combusted i can’t believe they was pop locking when they said these words ANYWAY yeah seokjin is like head honcho of both emotional maturity and wanting everyone around him to be happy especially ME once we’re married and all in like we’re gonna give each other our best and be the best for each other

ALRIGHT IVE MADE MYSELF SEEM SUFFICIENTLY CRAZY YOUR TURN IM PASSING THE MIC 🎤

[ralfstrashcan]

3x22 Reaction / Commentary

Fair warning: Despite all feelings of nostalgia and melancholy with this being the last episode and all, this contains the usual amount of salt. Just, consider yourself warned XD

Impressive. Quick question though, why didn't Lilith pull this neat trick before going to Magnus and begging for an opening in the rift? We'll never know. Possibly because she's dumb.

Why would he give away his element of surprise with that stupid roar? Wtf man.

Istg if they kill Meliorn off just after I fell in love with him last episode imma riot so hard. Wtf.

1) Jeliorn Shipper: It's not actually clear who he's addressing XD 2) Am I the only one who feels like Meliorn's feelings for Izzy skyrocketed after they broke off their little mutually beneficial arrangement?? Because I sure do. Very convenient for the plot too.

This is both hilarious and infuriating XD

Boo Team Warlock. They can see that Meliorn is lying on the ground, obviously wounded, and all they do is stand around. Why do they all suck at first aid?? I mean, man down! What more do you need to know wtf.

Also what is that? Lorenzo actually being helpful? Wtf haha. Btw I made up my mind, he's lost bits of his character along the way. I don't like it. He's suddenly supposed to be a good lizard baby? Sure. *scoff*

I like that bit where Lorenzo and Magnus pool magic for a more effective attack but I'm doubtful they're perfectly synchronized since they never fought together. Or is this like a standard warlock fight maneuver? Are those a thing? I need answers.

Lilith shooting her fancy fire spit ball five meters to the left is both an overused cliché and ridiculous.

THIS is their plan of attack? They're all gonna die haha.

Script: Close up of female shoes with heels so everyone knows this is a woman.

RIDICULOUS

So did I understand that correctly? Lilith flew right into the line of literal fire? Whyyyy?

RIDICULOUS PLASTIC EYE IS RIDICULOUS

Wtf why isn't Lorenzo loudly objecting??

That circle reminds me of Guardians of the Galaxy in the worst way. Wow. I can't believe I just watched this. Wtf this was so bad *weeping* Btw note, considerate CGI flames only burn on torso and arms not on legs. Riiiight.

...................................................................what.

I mean, yay. All shadowhunters are jobless now. Guess all problems are solved. We just have an entire (slightly racist) race on our hands that's out of an occupation and also, militry. Those things don't mix well. Wtf. I cannot. comprehend. Wtf.

Also wtf. This was supposed to be the boss fight. And they finished it without a plan with one player literally before the opening?? UHHHH???

But, anyway. I guess I should be glad Alec didn't have to make good on his promise of living in Edom with Magnus, because as @intezaarlily so hilariously pointed out

The Alliance rune was temporary and wore off in like 5 hours, and Nephilim can’t survive in Edom because of their blood once the rune wears off, but Alec says he’ll spend the rest of his life with Magnus in Edom … I mean, I love the romantic sentiment! But that will be a very short life.

XD XD XD

Uhhhh yeah, the fact that Sizzy get a sex scene (ugh, could have done without that honestly) Clace get cute cuddling and Malec get................ lying five feet apart even though THEY ARE LEGIT A MARRIED COUPLE WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Honestly, I mostly skirt the negativity that surrounds the issue of how Malec always get shitty kisses and intimacy etc. But this is ridiculous. RI-DIC-U-LOUS. At this point, who knows if they'll even kiss at their wedding? We'll be lucky if they hold hands. Honestly. WTF.

Yeah agree to disagree. I'm not even sorry for my extra salt. Wtf. Still hung up on Malec. At least Izzy's runes glitter prettily in the morning light.

“I mean like relationships. Everyone that I've been in has magnificently imploded like the Death Star.”

SIGH. This is clearly not true. He stayed good friends with his exes (Clary, Maia) so that's a lie. And Saia was working out really well until the series needed it to stop, so it's not like he's inept. So either he's exaggerating because he's hella unreflected or he says that to get some pity from Izzy, either way I hate it.

Uuhhhh Izzy, you were never interested in having a relationship. That's not the same as screwing up a relationship wtf.

...............Does the show want to tell me Magnus is left-handed or what. Wow.

I

hadn't

noticed.

I guess Canon wants to use this last opportunity to tell us that Magnus is ambidextrous *shrug*

Also why the hell did Lorenzo give them back the loft? Oh right, he's a Good Lizard Baby now. The heck.

Anyway I did a very thorough reaction to this sneak peek scene already for a private correspondence, so enjoy ahaha ;)

- Me being deprived of Malec Morning Cuddles (and LittleSpoon!Alec) is unfair and I'm Not Over It.

+ Magnus excitedly writing their wedding invitation though <3<3<3

- Cheek kiss wtf man where are my REAL morning smooches WTF

+ CHEEK KISS SO CUTE OMG MAGNUS'S FACCEEEEEEEE I CANNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

+ MAGNUS'S FRAKKING FACE WHEN HE GIVES ALEC THE INVITATION SCRIPT THINGY, RAISED EYE BROW AND THAT LIP THING HE DOES, LIKE IN THE TRAINING SCENE HAHAHAHA I LOVE

+ MAGNUS'S FACE AS ALEC READS THE INVITATION OUTTTT

+ A L E C S  FACE AT “TONIGHT” LIKE OMG HE LOOKS LIKE HE JUST HAD A LOBOTOMY HAHAHAHAHA I CANNOT

~ Okay I am conflicted about this. While I can buy both, Magnus wanting to move ahead and Alec wanting to plan (because I think it fits them both in terms of being in character) in this particular matter I kinda headcanon the reverse: Alec not able to wait another minute to Lock Magnus Down and Magnus wanting everything to be absolutely perfect and losing himself in planning.

That being said, Magus being like “Gotta get married while we still can and there's not a disaster on the horizon” is.... idk, isn't that kind of sad? He's all about cherishing things in life so you can remember them. And stumbling through his MARRIAGE, with must mean a real real lot to him, being his first in all his 400/800 years, that's... not really uplifting? He deserves better than that.

+ Magnus's clap tho at “location” XD XD XD

+ ALEC'S FACE AT TAJ MAHAL HAHAHA HIS FROWNY MOUTH

~ Quick question, how the hell does Magnus want to hold a whole ass marriage ceremony at a public mundane place?? With glamor? Without? Sounds like an unrealistic mess either way

+ “THE INSTITUTE” I CAN'T MAGNUS AND ALEC KILL IT BOTH WITH THIS WTF HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CANT

- Alec's reasoning. Honestly, I don't like it that much. Don't get me wrong, Alec being aware of the political dimension and liking it is 100% ic. But. This is their wedding. Their. Wedding. They do everything else for others, for their people and for the mundanes and the frikking world as a whole (3x20 being a prime example, basically screwing their personal happines to hell and back (pun intended) to close the rift saved the world because those wraiths wouldn't have stopped after Alicante let's be real). And their wedding, this should be just for them. How they like it, how they envision and how they've always dreamed about it. It shouldn't be held so others can benefit from it.

I want the wedding to be at the Instutite. In my mind no other venue even comes into question. But I would have loved if the motivation was differently nuanced. If Alec would have said that he's imagined it there, because yeah, Magnus's loft is his home and his heart, but the Institute must hold sentimental value for him, too. He grew up there. It's basically all he's known his whole life up to like three months ago. It's the embodiment of him being a shadowhunter and he loves being a shadowhunter, it's his identity. And Alec is a traditional guy. He wants his classical shadowhunter wedding and those are held at an Institute. He must have envisioned this after he started dating Magnus: exchanging vows in a ceremony held by a silent brother and with their wedding jewelry, in the chapel of the Institute, simply because this is the only marriage proceedure he's ever known.

Pissing off the clave, or rather, having the clave begrudingly accept him with his true self presented to the world should be a welcome byproduct, but not the main motivation.

From Magnus I would buy this line of reasoning sooner than from Alec because Magnus has hated the clave and its injustice since forever, has suffered far harsher under them than Alec, so he has a lot more personal interest to stick it to the clave than Alec, who, sorry, literally discovered their falseness three months ago. But then again, I don't think thoughts like that would be on the forefront of Magnus's mind and so it makes sense Alec would be the one to bring up this aspect. I just don't like how it was nuanced.

In any case, rewatching that scene I'm amazed at the amount of time Alec flounders before catching Magnus's attention, it's hilarious to watch XD

+ MAGNUS'S CONSIDERING POUT THOUGH WTF MAN WHO ALLOWED THIS

Another missing scene waiting to be written, of Magnus wearing a tux around Alec (and Alec drooling over him lol).

“It's just... all these hundreds of years... I can't believe you've never been married.”

Yeah, dito. How about you expand a little more on your personal stance on marriage, Magnus?? It's for science.

NOT ANYMORE APPARENTLY WTF CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE PLEASE

1) Wow this was quick 2) Uh-huh, guess that's why they mentioned them before this episode, oh, never.

1) Then ralf would quit watching this show and who would make dumb comics then? 2) Lol I guess her poor ex warlock boy toy got dumped

HAHAHAHA THE WAY HE DELIVERS THAT LINE I CAN'T XD XD XD

TMI bro

Good. At least he's not completely delusional then.

Gal you said “focus” like once, that's not a lesson wtf.

Yeah, creepy creepy feelings.

But this is actually interesting since she can't lie, and she says in no uncertain terms that she wants to split her power with him, or at least the rule over earth. Buf if she's so afraid of him she even wants to rule beside him and relinquish part of her might, then I don't get why she didn't just kill him off when he was in his cocoon. Why risk making an enemy of him? Makes no sense. (Except that this would have been anticlimactic lol.) Also my question of what happened to Lucifer still stands.

Uhhhh apparently they just slept together, turning into a child is majorly creepy wtf dude. Also, where does her changed wardrobe come from? Absorbing clothes during a transformation is a skill werewolves would pay real money for, I can tell you. Market niche. Patent while you still can.

..................really? *sigh*

#vulnerability #abandonment issues #give jace wayland (or whatever you want to call him) a hug dammit

Finally, happy parabatai. What a sight for sore eyes.

Biting back more Sizzy salt, wow I'm impressed at myself.

HOW ABOUT YOU BOTH FRAKKING SAY THAT ABOUT MAGNUS WTF

(Btw the German Dubbing: “I was just thinking of asking you that!” lol as if the thought had crossed Izzy's mind in that exact second, making that whole thing even more ridiculous.)

Anyway.

“You know, I always thought I never needed a parabatai, that I was at my best when I was on my own.”

No that was because you disliked the weird codependency it produces. And it's fine if you change your mind on that and decide that the benefits outweight that, but please don't do it offscreen during an action screen but like, throughout a whole season? Consider sharing a thought or two about that fundamental change in your world view with the audience? Otherwise people (me) can just laugh their ass of at how ridiculous and ooc this is. Wtf. WtF. Then again she literally changed her stance on relationships in like a week and her stance on Simon in half a day, so I guess it's kind of consistent?? *snort*

There's a joke about missing hair in here somewhere. These poor, poor men. They were ROBBED. (And so were we XD)

Since when can Clary order around the Head of Security?? (Also look at her manic face in this shot ahahaha. Was that deliberate on my part?? You can't prove a thing!!)

Also Luke missing Alec's wedding again is history repeating itself.

IMMORTALITY RUNE ON THE RUN!! EVERYBODY DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND CATCH IT!!!

Clary, gal, if you keep slinking after the rune like that you'll never catch it. Srsly. And you wonder why you lose track of it all the time? Move your butt, man!!!

WOW GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENT EVER. Can I skip this scene? Please?

Wow that was less painful than expected

Oh damn I knew this was too easy.

Btw apparently they have styling opportunities wherever Jocelyn's soul went after her death, because the clothes she wore when she went west

and the ones she's wearing now are similar, but decidedly not the same.

“Btw we'll talk about that creepy ass behavior later, and no supper for you tonight young lady!!”

Uh-huh, and what, pray tell, is Jocelyn? A zombie?? Just wondering.

These so-called “angels” are racists and you can quote me on that.

HAHAHA YEAH EXACTLY, SO RIDICULOUS AMIRIGHT

I mean. “Never draw another new rune or we'll take away your ability to create runes” basically translates to me “You have one last shot.” Right?

(Premonition!Ralf: ..........................you know nothing, Past Ralf.)

HAHAHAH SO FRAKKIN EXTRA I LOVE HIM

I think the white one is the prettiest <3<3<3 And now I wanna eat cake. Dammit.

LISTEN I KNOW HE SAYS THAT TO BE SASSY BUT!!!!! WHAT WAS MAGNUS GONNA EAT FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY???? ROASTED SHAX DEMON DRUMSTICKS??????? I NEED ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!!

This “beauty” clearly is from his mansion, so he obviously only says this to gloat. What a tool. Or is this like, a different size? And he has the same three pictures of himself plastered over all his homes, but in different sizes??

LOL this feels like splitting household goods with an ex. And they didn't even date (uagh the mental image *shudder*)

Mostly for each other, but continue.

Also, is this Lorenzo's formal request to be adopted into that weird ass Protagonist!Family? Because loooool the position of sassy shady uncle is still vacant. I'm sure Peter Hale will teach him some tricks.

Don't get me wrong, I like the scene itself but...... what happend to the evil lizard baby? It seems that just like Maryse he got a character makeover between one scene and the next. This change of heart comes out of frakkin nowhere. He goes from “good riddance magnus i hate your guts” to “pls love me” in literally half a day. And I don't like that. Wtf.

Also, another thing: Why do they always imply warlocks are completely unable to find a lasting relationship / family / even some level of happiness that isn't “sitting in my plush villa and drinking overpriced alcohol”? As if all warlocks are inapt. Tf.

I mean, he's been showing that through absence, but I guess that's more because of the same reasons that persistently keep Catarina from showing her face than him actually not caring about his kids, there's no real grounds for this level of desinterest in Show!Robert's character. But anyway, I like the sentiment, that conflicts between the parents don't necessarily inevitably destroy the relationships between one parent and the children. And Maryse was always good at compartmentalizing things, so this is very fitting.

Wow I had really hoped I wouldn't have to see this particular face again. Guess we can't always get what we want *sigh* also what's the shit with those glasses? *snort*

Also, I mean, I'm by no means an expert, but even I know that you don't actually store a bow with the string attached? You unclip it so it doesn't wear out? But whatever, what do I know about angelic weaponry, right.

Wtf he was cleared for missions seasons ago. Did they forget? Apparently? Ugh but I don't care so, moving on.

“You'll be save on this balcony.”

*SIGH* Honestly I'm wondering what they even learn at their dumb Shadowhunter Academy. Since common sense, first aid, and make sure your frikkin enemy is dead by slitting their throat and !never! turn your back on them are obviously not on the curriculum. SMH.

Ngl though, good riddance on the Max front XD

Guess I cheered too early. You had one job, Jonathan. One. Job.

HAHAHAHA HONESTLY HAHAHA THE GUY NEXT TO HER FALLS AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN TWITCH, JUST KEEPS RECORDING LOOOL

Btw all the people running away, they're screaming their heads off but they're not really like, running? They're barely even jogging lol it's so funny XD

Let me just....

Yes. This.

Also that whole “I've never been to Toronto” totally clashes with Izzy asking Clary literally three minutes earlier if she can open her a portal to Los Angeles. I mean, they don't even try and pretend that their portal travel is consistent anymore. Sigh.

I mean. He. Hehehe.

Amazing that Magnus has been in this exact street in his exact spot. Luck-y.

Same, Jonathan. Same.

Wow she's smart trying the spite approach to get Jonathan to want to prove her wrong.

.....or not. Wtf Clary. You had him. Even after all this, you could have salvaged this. But there's just No Happy Ending for Jonathan. It's so unfair. Rest in peace, my poor misunderstood murderous incest baby.

Also

Wing Rune? Death via Crushing Wing Hug??

Btw if the runes are gifts from the angels and they don't approve of her use then why do they keep sending them to her?? Just, don't? Problem solved? No need for a Jocelyn!Scolding?

Edit: As a smart person pointed out to me Clary's ability to create runes isn't a direct gift from the angels that they gave her specifically, it's a result of Valentine's neat experiments. But then I wonder a) why the angels even allowed those blasphemous experiments in the first place (since apparently they can long-distance-derune people no problem, then I guess they could have stopped Valentine too?) and b) if they have the power to long-distance-derune people and they have the power to form some sort of resistance against Clary inventing runes..... how does that add up? Why the heck can't they forge a resistance strong enough against Clary's attempts to create a specific rune? It makes no sense. You can't be ridiculously powerful in one rune-aspect and ridiculously weak in one other rune-aspect. Either the angel has power over the runes (since they were a gift from him) or he doesn't. But this is rubbish. Or, y'know, plot convenience. Ugh.

Buhuu, they didn't use the stupid ass angelic rune ever so whatever. Until Raziel doesn't come down and exchanges her spinal marrow I'm writing this off as Consequenceless Dramatics.

Malec Wedding Ceremony. Phew. Originally I thought I'd keep this short but I changed my mind. Since this is my last reaction post I might as well go all out (with the salt, among other things), so. Here we go.

Music choice and the general everything-is-muffled-under-the-song was absolutely wonderful. I really love that song and it's very Malec-y.

UGH

AWWW WOULD YOU LOOK WHO DEIGNED TO SHOW UP

The suit suits him (ahahahaha I'm so sorry) but I'm kinda bummed he's not wearing Shadowhunter Gold?! I mean?!

Whoever that is, she has kickass hair and I love it, and I kept looking for her in the background the whole time. To some success I might add.

Yeah please show me Lorenzo's face instead of, idk, Jace's wtf haha. Also who invited Meliorn.

Is it even a real wedding ceremony when the groom is already wearing his ring??

U G H

Cat should have been the one to give Magnus away. Maryse could have given Alec away if she must (honestly, it should have been Jace, not Robert or Maryse, but whatever). But Maryse giving Magnus away? The Fuck? She HATED him two months ago. She literally gave up on him after he SAVED ALL THEIR ASSES AND WAS STUCK IN EDOM after like half a day. Also I kind hate her ridiculous redemption. But sure, have Cat, his best friend for centuries, stand on the sidelines and only show her face for a second. Frikkin Madzie had more screen time than Cat wtf. I hate that Shadowhunters infiltrate every aspect of Magnus's life and force his Downworlder friends out of it. That's the real oppression wtf. I'm so angry at this. The frikkin audacity.

Awww, the other half second of Cat's screen time. Let me fawn over it. I love her dress, especially the arms, the necklace is a bit much but she rocks it anyway, I love her hairdo and her smile is the sweetest.

*cough*

Ngl I laughed my ass off at this. Because, y'know, communication. Is totally their thing, isn't it. They're so good at it. This is sarcastic in case you can't tell.

I really really loved this line though.

HAHAHA I LOST IT. I mean, I found their interlaced speaking ridiculous already, but this?? PFFFF HAHAHA. No. Just, no. But I guess the one good thing I can take away from this is that since they both say their “always” together it is in fact the same “always” so thanks for more Immortal Alec Foreshadowing.

Whoa those are a lot of candles. I approve. Lexa does, too.

Magnus throwing confetti is too cute for this world.

And then they just.... leave? Am I the only one finding that weird???? This was so short? Where are they going?? lol????

Okay, apparently Clary's runes are all gonna disappear. Uh. Okay. I don't see where this makes sense, but anyway. Her acting in these last moments was absolutely awesome.

I really love that Magnus and Raphael got the scene together that they deserved. I just enjoy that Downworlder Dad Magnus and Grumpy Son Raphael aren't treated as a Plot Devices and only interact when some Stupid Plotline requires it, but outside of it too. It's so refreshing.

Ralf: “Oh God please spare me.”

........not my lucky day apparently.

Hahahaha love ya.

DAMN RIGHT

Jace and Maryse dancing in the background tho. Cute.

BTW wtf, I didn't undestand Annoying!Ghost!Jocelyn in the way that Clary was gonna die. Just, she wouldn't have her fancy rune powers anymore. And okay, apparently she won't have any rune powers but... uh, death? That's a whole different dimension we're talking here. And why tf can't anyone be precise on this show for once wtf!

1) Helen is valid and for probably the first time in her life said something smart. 2) They started dating 3 days ago, wtf gals, I mean I heard of the u-haul cliché but honestly wtf. lol.

Ralf: *hits pause* NO. Kay, in the same room as Ralf, fully aware that the latter is watching the last half of 3x22 with the Malec Wedding (with headphones, I'm considerate and don't want to spoiler my sister): What is it? Are they adopting a child? Ralf: No, WORSE. Kay: Are they pregnant?? Ralf: NOOOOOOO Kay: Tell me. Ralf: ........no. I want to see the look on your face when you see this.

You had one job dude. One job. And you failed.

Ralf: I'm going to be sick.

Honestly. WTF. Sorry, but Lorenzo is probably the un-gayest character on this show. Wtf. No. I refuse. I also refuse to believe that anyone looks at Lorenzo's self-important pompous ass and thinks hnnnngh relationship material. Or worse, one-night stand material. No! No! Punching bag material! Sleek antagonist material! That's all he is dammit!!

I REALLY AM GOING TO BE SICK WTF. UGH NO. NOOO WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE (aka screen writers) WHO THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. And also, can I give the biggest anti-compliment to the Max actor for the absolutely shitty delivery of this line? It's as if he's as dead inside as I am, because he says this as if he honestly couldn't give a single shit about Magnus and just ??????????????? wtf

Yeah, that one time she glanced at him in the Ops Center really gave it away. What the actual ffkk. Alec was preoccupied with other things then, wtf, he wouldn't even notice that on a good day. Sorry, show, but less is more sometimes. Not everyone needs a frikkin significant other and this is just ridiculous. What's next, Max and Madzie? UGH.

Lol this would be less ridic if apart from 1x05 this wasn't their first interaction.

NO NO NO NO!!!!!! I hate that I can't stop scanning the background for them! It's like the countdown on a bomb, you can't look away even though you know you should just turn and run. WTF. NO.

bitch what's alec been doing his whole life huh huh huh????

“Every single cell in my body loves you. And when those cells die and new ones are born those cells love you even more. So Jace, no matter what happens, my love for you will never die.”

Ridiculous Shadowhunter Biology Knowledge striking but I'll let it slide because that was really sweet.

Also ahahaha shouldn't that rune be gone already???

Shadowhunter #1 in the Background: *biting back a sob* I'm so crushed I wasn't invited to Malec's wedding and saddled with active duty instead. Shadowhunter #2 in the Background: *wiping away tears* Yeah, me too.... What did we ever do to deserve this </////////3

Again, how did she understand that from the weird AF scolding??? TF.

Uh, yeah, blatant contradiction, whatever. Btw since I know how that goes in the books (for Simon) I'm really wondering if they're gonna pull the same thing for Clary now. (Ugh.)

Also, following both a hint and innate curiosity I paused on the letter that Clary supposedly actually wrote AND WTF HAHAHAHA. I CAN'T.

Dear Jace, forgive me for leaving all of a sudden. I came to the realization that it's time for me to move on. I don't know what is motivating me to take this action but I must act on my feelings. From the first day we met we had a connection from ??? my introduction to the Shadow Hunters World. Alec, Simon, Izzy, the institute and all of the Shadow Hunters opened up skills and experiences that I could never imagine I had. You and I spent many years together and have experienced many adventures together which I will never forget. Many times over they have put our lives at risk but we have always managed to survive in the end. You have saved my life on many occasions (screen end, but I guess sth like “you have looked”) after me and taken care of me (same, “which I'll never”) forget. Your love for me I will always (“treasure”?) May our Shadows meet again, Love Clary

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL HAHAHAHAHA WTF

........................I paused here and I was this tempted to just, stop watching. Honestly, Shadowhunters, what have you done to me. Making me honestly consider to ditch the last ten minutes of a show that I dearly, dearly love. Wtf. I just, I can't. Wow.

Where's the beard, Luke. It's been “a year” so uh you've had time to grow it back.

1) Magnus “left handed” Bane again writing with his right hand. Mysterious. 2) Honestly I kinda spaced out on this scene after this shot because those blue smears? I was so SURE those would be fingerpaint clumsily smeared on Magnus by Malec's Baby of Horrors. I was so focused on there being any hints of them having adopted a baby already, dreaded anguish kinda making it impossible to taking in anything else. The only thing I really noticed is that they moved with their whole ass loft and I love that.

Honestly, this and the “High Warlock of Alicante” are the only two acceptable things about this whole terrible fever haze dream I have entered. Not that “High Warlock of Alicante” makes any sense. It just has a nice ring to it, that's all. I really can't put into words how ridiculous and, yeah, almost offensive I find it that they actually pretend that blatant racism can be wiped out of the minds of people in the matter of a single year. Sure. The whole Clave changed their racist beliefs and Alec skipped from being a mere Head of an Insitute over being a Clave Envoy to being an Inquisitor (which doesn't even make sense, since an Inquisitor seems to be going from Institute to Insitute and acting as a judge for Shadowhunters on trial, not negotiating how the Clave treats Downworlders). And which warlocks exactly does Magnus represent in Alicante? It makes no sense for the Clave to allow Downworlders to just, randomly live there? And that's got nothing to do with discrimination, that's just logic if you run a military organization: You don't allow civilians to mingle. They don't belong in the Ops Center of an organization they have no part in? I'm all for Downworlders being allowed to participate in legislative etc. but living in Alicante (as more than the significant other of a Shadowhunter) makes no sense. And sorry, I don't believe that in one year there formed SO MANY Shadowhunter/Warlock relationships that SO MANY warlocks moved to Alicante that they need a HIGH WARLOCK for representation. There's SO MUCH wrong with all of this that I have no choice but to move on.

Hmmmm it only took Maia one (1) year to realize that carefully painting over blood splatters with yellow (and not even removing pictures while doing so) isn't in fact enough to cover them up and she needs to get a completely new paintjob, prefereably in a dark color.

Okay that made me laugh at least.

*rolls eyes so hard* And again with the pointless coupling up of characters. Are singles even a thing in this world? Apparently not. *SIGH*

“The Drevak Demons in Long Island?” “The hunt continues.” “Don't stop until they're gone. Is that clear?”

As much as I love Izzy, I'm not sure this dialogue really assures me of her competence as Head? I mean? “The demons are not dead yet? Kill them until they are, understood? And don’t argue with me on that, I’m super serious!!” It's not as if this isn't literally all that Shadowhunters do all day. I just don't see Izzy working a desk job. She's meant to be out in the field, slaying demons and cracking jokes and her whip while doing that. Sorry, but that's just how it is.

I could even tolerate that Sizzy scene because I was sooooo relieved Underhill didn't mention having a significant other or anything of the sort. Dodged a frakkin bullet there.

Edit: Nope, no, I can't. It's been two weeks and I have regained enough of my strength to be salty about Sizzy. But let me keep it to a minimum because time. 1) Simon not wanting to kiss Izzy in the hall is ridiculous, as if it hasn't been common knowledge since before that whole Downworlder Deputy Stuff started that they are a thing. So obviously this was just to pepper in the fact that he is in fact one of the Downworlder Deputies, whatever that should mean.

2) Nice to know that Simon continues to exploit his girlfriend's authority. Some things never change I guess, first with Saia and now with Sizzy. 3) I just find it ridiculous that while Simon wasn't able to keep a relationship running for more than two weeks before, suddenly this one works out a whole year without a hitch. Oh right, this was The Endgame Pairing, the other's weren't. *sigh*

<3<3<3<3<3 The Jimon Friendship we deserve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT TO SEE, NOT WHATEVER THAT OTHER NIGHTMARISH STUFF WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh-huh, and what was Simon doing, exactly? Oh right.

Anyway.

I mean, as much as I love this dynamic and the fact that Jace managed to form a friendship with Simon who he kinda hated / pitied before, and as much as I love this scene itself..... the implications for Jalec are terrible. Jace is obviously not coping. At All. He's one wrong word from having tears running from his eyes in any given situation. And Alec just, effs off to Alicante to sip martinis with Magnus? Thank you for nothing, Alec. Wtf. I'd like some details on when exactly he decided to leave his parabatai alone in New York with all his heartbreak.

A toned down version of events would have been better. Alec still being Head of the Insitute, fighting tooth and nail against the Clave to implement Downworlder Involvement on more levels. Magnus being the High Warlock of Brookyln (because obviously Lorenzo got sacked for misconduct, come on). Simon and Jace growing closer over the shared devastating loss of Clary. Izzy slaying demons like a Queen. Underhill being single.

We could have had it all.

“You know, I pray every day, every day to the angels that they will see that our love is stronger than their spite.”

Lol Jace I'm not sure that's the way to phrase a prayer you want heard.

Okay, I'm gonna need several explanations here, ranked by importance:

1) WHY THAT HAIRCUT WTF

2) How exactly did Clary go from “complete memory loss, homeless, no money, no family, no friends, no nothing, literally just the clothes on her back” to “well-adjusted human being attending school, being super successful with her art, having an appartment and an astounding lack of depression” in a year?

????? ???????? ???????????????

???????

3) I really don't know a lot about either fashion or art, but both differ greatly from what we've seen from Clary so far. Neither her clothes match what she used to wear, nor her art style. She never drew abstract things. It was always portraits of people, or very detailed and realistic looking buildings / demons / sigils. So this doesn't really make sense either. I don't think they intended this to be the opening of a profound philosophical discussion on how much of your personality is laid down in your DNA and how much is just environment and experiences shaping you, so I really REALLY wonder why the f they did that, instead of having Clary draw Shadow World related stuff like before, when Magnus had her memories locked away.

Love the throwback. Also love Jace's reaction of running away, it's so relatable in this situation of utter emotional overload.

Okay, the end. I'm trying my best to end this on a slightly positive note okay, because otherwise I'll just make myself sad. First off, I HATE open endings with a passion, so this left me enraged. Second off, I can't believe the Clace Shippers were left with this as the last scene of their OTP. I kind of get it from a meta stance, they wanted there to be a point of contact for a possible pick-up, but still. They didn't even kiss. They didn't even have clarity what exactly Clary remembers. I hate it! Third off, how ridiculous is it that after a year Clary randomly remembers? Uhh? Why does the angel's punishment suddenly not work anymore? “Because love conquers all” etc. Uh-huh. Then why did it take a frakkin year? Huh, Jace?! If this had been the first time Clary and Jace see each other again, fine, I would have bought it. But “random” is such an unsatisfying explanation. Just, don't. So if you'll excuse me, I'll happily pretend none of this happened. Or it happened one month later, not a year wtf. Or I'll just follow through on my rewrite and rectify all the things I didn't like about these last two episodes.

And now that all the rage is out of the way, the good things. I loved both of Clary and Jace's acting in this scene (which lolllll I specifically point out because mostly in their couple scenes one of them fails XD). The careful way Clary touches Jace's rune and the way he almost flinches back, too raw for it, but also his vulnerable helpless smile, and how Clary smiles back. I also really liked the song. And the final shot, of the camera pulling away and into the nightsky, that was nice. It felt like an ending, so at least that gave me some closure.

I love this show. Even with all its infuriating plot holes and ooc-ness. It means a lot to me. It has inspired me to write fic like no other fandom. I plan to stick around for a long time to come, with both fics and tumblr posts. I'll rewatch episodes, obsess over details and grumble about shit I disliked because that's just what I do. It's how I show my appreciation. I guess what I'm trying to say is

Thank you

[matronaa]

Jungkook “fuckboy?” drabble

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 1,637

Genre: Fluff/mentions of smut?

Okay look its about 1 in the morning while im writing this and i just got done literally scrolling thru @jungshookz  e n t i r e page and honestly ive been delusionally laughing over her stories for like an hour and a half like the tattooartist!jungkook fic legit killed me i love it  and i’m probably going to force my friend to check her out because legit i love it so much and she seems like such a funny person and if she sees this 1) ily and ur writing and i wanna be friends but idk how to start a conversation because im a awKwARd bEan and 2) im sorry for probably spamming ur notifications with likes okay i couldnt help it so now im inspired for the first time in a while to write but im way to loopy to put together an actual fic so enjoy this ig

Okay i should stop rambling (okay just note that im so sleep deprived that i had to google ‘words for excessive talking’ to remember the word rambling because im an idiot and i cant think and ooo its 1:11 am rn make a wish b*tches)

Okay im sorry ill begin~

A/n all of this is completely unedited and if bad grammar annoys you srry not srry

Lets talk about what fuckboy!jungkook is oki

I feel like in reality there are just a bunch of rumors about him but hes so smol and hes the quiet type so he doesnt have the energy to dismiss them

Like im sorry soft jungkook is way to good in my mind rn okay #cuddles4days im not in the mood for him to strangle me with his amazing biceps

Anyway

you never rlly met him in the 4 years of going to the same highschool as him (since you’re in those smart people classes like humanities) until senior year

You and him had the same AP Lit. class lmao english class is  l i t

Which surprised you bc of the rumors like i thought he was a badboy ?? arent those normally idiots ??

Nah my bby is a smart nugget, he just likes to look hella bf 25/8

First day of school cliche where you show up late to class and have to sit next to him because i  d i e  for those plots okay

But you dont know thats him because you’ve never seen him, so you’re confused on why most of the girls keep glaring at you

But soon enough you catch on and you’re like fml

And then the professor is like “where you are sitting is your assigned seating for the rest of the year” and you’re like f m L

He ends up introducing himself to you because i mean like table buddies

But hes really nervous because hes a cute little bean and you’re hella cute cuz lets be honest ur probably wearing like basic black leggings and a hoodie with your hood over your head to hide the bed hair you didnt feel like brushing that morning

Oh, just me? Okay…

He likes ur name because it rolls off the tongue and he thinks it suits you even tho he doesnt know you

Yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You dont really think hes a fuckboy because he seems so nice and he has the cutest lil bunny smile sEE

That is until after school u end up getting to ur locker late because u left something in one of your classes

And u see him pinning a girl against the lockers down the hall

And ur like well shit nvm

And u quickly get ur shit and go because das  a w k w a r d

But then he sees u run off and hes like awh crap i dun fucked up

A few weeks go by and u notice he barely really comes to class so u usually sit alone

On days he does come his chair seems extra close to yours and he’s basically smothering you

But u dont mind because he smells nice

And on the days he does come you get kinda excited because

1) you get a partner who doesnt expect you to do all of the work

2) this boy cute when he gets all intelligent

Ur  like “yes pls continue speaking about the essay we are writing that i have no idea is on because i kept getting lost in the sound of ur voice”

He notices when u zone out because you start staring at his lips when hes talking and he thinks its the cutest thing

One day u get assigned a week long project and ur close enough friends with jungkook to basically scold and force him to come to class all week

But only if he can force u to come to his house to work on it after school

Which you’re low key nervous of because ur going to a ‘fuckboy’s house’ by yourself

And u dont wanna do the dirty because ur a pure child haha not for long

But you agree anyway

And honestly even after the project is done (which you got an A on) you continue going over to his house because his bed is comfortable and he always has snacks

And his mom loves you

Like legit on days you dont go the next day you do she’s like “wheRE WERE YOU”

When the semester is over the professor lets you pick seats but you both enjoy each other’s company so you stay seated together.

finally ur at his house one day and ur just laying on his bed scrolling thru insta and he’s sitting on his bean bag in the corner on his phone and u look up at him and realise

Shit

You like him

Like a lot

And u mentally face palm because this was not supposed to happen

But it happened and you’re too far down the hole to climb out

Sometimes u end up napping at his house after school because his bed is more comfortable than yours and one friday night u wake up in his arms

And its like the best feeling ever

Its so warm and hes so cuddly hes like latched onto you

You stay under the warm blankets before you question when he even got in bed since he was playing video games before you fell asleep

And then his phone lights up and ofc you check it for him bc ur a nosey bitch

But not before you observed how adorable he was while he was sleeping

Nope not creepy at all

its his friend tae texting him (you didn’t really know his friends since you had different friend groups)

You check it and its smth like “stop staring at y/n while shes sleeping and reply u creep”

And you’re like w a t

So you scroll up and see that while u were sleeping jungkook went on a full rant on how cute u are and how whipped he is

And ur like holy fadoodles dis boy likes me

And so u decided to text tae like “this is y/n, does he actually like me”

Which turns into you both having a convo on how thirsty jungkook is until he wakes up

Hes like wtf r u doing and he snatches the phone and reads through your messages with tae while u like sit up to stare at him

And he’s still half asleep so it takes him to realise whats going on

“Omfg y/n i can explain-”

He starts rambling about how long he had been crushing on u and that he didn’t want to tell you because you seemed uninterested so he kept it a secret and never told anyone

And honestly he was freaking out because the onE tiMe he tells anyone that he likes you, you find out

But while he’s rambling you’re coming up with an excuse to text your mom that you’re spending the night at his house, so you just say he’s not feeling well and his parents are gone for the weekend.

Lmao she doesnt care she’s just like “lmao ik ur lying but have fun dont get pregnant”

Or Maybe thats just my mom idk

You have to shut him up by snatching his phone out of his hands and kissing him

When you pull away you’re just like “you talk too much lmao”

You explain to him that you like him too and u just get under the covers again and snuggle up next to him, and he wraps his arms around you

And you stay like that for a while before hes like “its late you should get home”

And you tell him you’re staying the night whether he likes it or not

And he is so down for that

But then you end up just spending the weekend there because why not his parents love you

And every night is just filled with cuddling, watching netflix, making out, late night snacks, etc.

Saturday night he gets a lil touchy and soon enough ur like straddling him and grinding your hips against his

But then he’s like “Ive never done this before” and you c o m b u s t

Ur like aren’t you like the school fuckboy how have you not done this

And he tells you its all just rumors and hes too lazy to set the record straight

And you basically decide to take things slow that night since it was you’re first time too and honestly it was so cute

It wasn’t really steamy rough sex it was more soft fluffy love making that is filled with giggling and exploring and appreciating each other

That was definitely the night you fell in love with him

Which is big because you thought love was gross

The next day you’re cuddling and he’s like “you know ur my gf now”

And ur like duh

You start going on cute dates after that like going to cafes or amusement parks

He loved taking you to the beach during the summer because u looked gr8 in a bikini

You found out you were going to the same college with was fantastic, so you decided to rent an apartment together nearby the campus instead of living in a dorm.

Which normally you’d be against because moving in together so quickly ?? but you felt different like this relationship was going to last

UNTIL HE CHEATED

Lmao jk gotcha bitch

My baby is too pure and innocent to cheat

Well innocent until you both get into bed and then oh lord it gets steamy

He wants to experiment with like e v e r y t h i n g and honestly you were down

But ofc you set some boundaries.

There were lines he couldn’t cross

I mean sometimes he tried but you shut that down real quick

Overall your relationship was perfect and you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend

I mean he brought you pizza rolls and dr pepper to ‘study dates’ how could you not love him.

Oml it took me over an hour to write this its like 2:30 am why am i awake anyway imma go to bed now, idk ur name jungshookz but pls write more fanfics i need more to read late at night okay gnite

[dachi-chan25]

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 3 Pt. 2

WARNINGS: SPOILERS (obvs); not a Khaliiiisi fan; Jonsa shipper so I might talk about it.

————–

4.- Euron Sparrow (I feel like I should add Captain somewhere) makes his heroic entrance in KL, and I find this kinda intresting, Hot Pie told Arya it was Cersei the one who blew the Great Sept of Baelor like it was common knowledge, but like how do people in Westeros know this stuff? news travel by ravens, and merchants and soldiers perharps but common people don’t know the High Lords and Ladies motivations and information has a way to get twisted (the best example I can think of is Season 5’ s troupe from Braavos, they told the story of Joffrey’s ascention and his death in a very pro-Lannister light) so I’m really interested in knowing just what did Cersei said about the whole affair. I mean people’s reaction to Ellaria and co. is pure entreteinment for them, they have no real beef with them but still interested in all this stuff.

We have Cersei herself sitting on the fugliest chair of the 7 realms (aka the IT) while Euron gallops into the throne room (like Euron can you be a lil’ less extra??) and presents her with her gift while shading the fuck outta Jaime, anyway Euron wants to put a date to their wedding but Cersei is having none of that until the war is over.

Euron still is looking for a fight with Jaime, and says he hopes the can have a bro talk about just how kinky is Cersei in bed (LMAO Euron is awful but he makes me laugh a lot).

Now we have Cersei in the dungeons with a very bright pink lipstick on (where do you even get that stuff???) and talks about Oberyn vs. The Mountain, she is just taunting Ellaria and has a very emotional moment while talking about Myrcella (Lena Headley is a hell of an actress, as much as I hate Cersei I don’t want her to die if only to keep enjoying her brilliant performance)

Then she kisses Tyene and reveals Qyburn managed to find out the poison Ellaria used with her daughter and her revenge would be forcing her to see Tyene die, and then wipes away the poison-pink lipstick and drinks the antidote like a total badass (RIP bad pussy).

So getting revenge turns her on and she goes to kiss Jaime and gives him head (like wow there has been a lot of oral this season), they end up on bed, and one of Cersei’s maids knocks, Jaime is like oh no, nobody must know!! And she’s like I’m queen so I can do whatever the fuck I want (no, that’s not how it works, that’s what got your monster of a son killed dumbass) anyway it seems short hair is lit now (cool cuz I got short hair too) and doesn’t say anything about literal incest in front of her (very wise dear).

Now apparently Cersei has a visitor from the Iron Bank (remember they are hella broke thanks to Robert?) and she has to deal with it, to be fair Cersei is a hell of a negociator, she manages to convince the emmisary to give her 15 days to pay her debts and trash talks D once again (the fuck bitch me too).

(round here I get confused about the order of the scenes but I’ll try)

5.- So Theon is found by a surviving ship and the Captain treats him like dirt for not fighting for Yara, and pls leave my son alone.

I have nothing much to add really was a pretty short scene and I hope to see more of Theon next episode.

6.- Back in Dragon Stone we have Jon talking with Tyrion, he says he was wrong to have come and wants to go back home (OMG my poor baby) cuz it’s clear D has no intention to help him, Tyrion tells him to cut her some slack (I mean I kinda agree it’s not easy to believe and fight with a dude you just met but then again she was very rude and antagonistic) and goes around telling him about all the good stuff D has done (k I get his point, but were you there to see the conquest of Meeren and Astapor Tyrion?? No, you got there when shit hit the fan due to Danisss incompetence as a ruler, so I fail to see how someone as clever and analytical would make such blind statements unless that someone is in love) Jon agrees reluctantly.

7.- Winterfell!!! At last!!! So we see Sansa talking with Lord Royce, LF and the Maester about the resources they have for Winter, and she is Walking around the castle looking over the preparations and making questions and very good suggestions every now and then.

Seeing this scene struck me this is the first time we see someone actually ruling, allow me to explain: the first 2 shots we get of D and Cersei are of them sitting on their thrones but doing nothing but serve themselves (D with trying to force Jon to bend the knee and Cersei with her revenge) now of course they’re preparing for war against each other, who gives a fuck about food or warm clothes in winter amirite Ladies? Well, A GOOD RULER that’s who, Sansa is still Lady Sansa she does not parade titles around nor she sits her ass on the court room and calls it a day or calls herself Queen, yet she is the only one who acts like one. If she doesn’t know something she immediatly asks, she seeks solutions and acts quickly, that suggestion about adding leather to the armors was a little detail but so huge because she doesn’t only care about the armor being strong but also that it keeps her people as warm and comfortable as possible, and Imma cry because it’s such a huge difference from other selfish rulers we’ve seen in the series.

Anyway, LF starts by saying ruling suites her well (dammit the first time he and I agree with something) but says she is too focused on the WW thing, she answers that they should (thank god at least someone believes in Jon) he warns about Cersei and honestly is hillarious because she knows bih!!! And she tells him as much, honestly Sansa is getting more savage in her responses to Baeless what a time to be alive!!!! Littlecreeper then proceeds to talk like a fortune-cookie, I tried to make sense of it, but still confused he tells her not to fight battles anywhere but her mind ( k I think he means being analytical and politicaly savvy, not rushing into conflicts everywhere) also that her friends are enemies and enemies are friends (bottomline I think it’s trust no one cuz alliances shift a lot in time of war, or at least that’s what I think it means) and that she will she things she has seen before (ummm so like people are predictable and she only has to observe and she’ll realize she knows what kind of people they are and thus predict/guess what they’ll do because she has already dealt with that, or is he talking about parallels or what??? Idk why is he so cryptic now???) it mattered not cuz Sansa gets called to the gate, and…

Bran!!! He is back!! And Oh my god Sophie Turner’s performance is A+ her expressions are beautiful and really made me cry, Bran is very changed tho, and I see he is getting a lot of hate but why? He is clearly dealing with a lot of difficult stuff, he IS the Three Eyed Raven now, seeing past/present/future must be hard on his psyche and the threat of the WW is overwhealming so stop pls.

They are under the weirdwood tree, Sansa looks adorable sitting in the snow and hugging her knees to her chest, and she just about kills me when she says “I wish Jon was here’ now of course I know she says so because she wishes Jon could share the hapiness and relief of having their little brother back but still (my shipper heart) and immediatly says WF is his (honestly Imma say this now, fuck the people who called her a power hungry bitch, you don’t like her or find her boring? Fine we all are allowed to have characters we like and dislike, but the blantant misogynistic hate Sansa’s been getting since day one has been overwhelming, fans of her get called delusional and anti-feminists for supporting an embodiment of the patriarchy and other willful misinterpretations of her character and I’m glad D&D have shown she is not what the fandom’s been acussing her of) putting the final nail on the Starkbowl coffin. Bran reject his title as Lord because he is the TER, and Sansa, the girl whose only contact with magic/supernatural stuff has been through what Jon told her, immediatly belives what her little brother says and not only that she asks him to explain what does it means because she wants to understand him (and OMG what a concept actually listening to people!!!) now I understand why every actor on the Stark fam wanted Sansa on the IT or Winterfell, she is an amazing ruler.

Bran triggers her ptsd talking about what Ramsey did to her, and she very graciously excuses herself, while Bran stays back to get some work on the NK business. I think this was a way to make her stop asking questions and kind of showing what his powers are about? But I’m not sure.

——-

Again too long, so a part 3 is necessary for the final parts of the ep.