#imhereifyouneedme

[agirlssfantasy]

to everyone who feels like they don’t belong please read this:

i’m A. March 27, 2018 i tried committing suicide. i tried overdosing on my daily medication and it didn’t work. i was sent to a place and had to miss one holiday with my family. i know it doesn’t seem like a big deal but once you are there and only get certain days to see your family for limited amount of time it makes you feel like a piece of shit for putting yourself and your family through it... when i got home i vowed to me and my family i would never feel that alone were i did something so selfish......

fast forward a couple of months.. i spiraled down, but this time i cut. my thighs and wrist. every time i did i really didn’t have a reason i just wanted myself to feel the pain, i might sound physco but i’m not.. i think. lately i’ve been looking and really observing the people who i call “my friends” and that left me with 1 friend. it sucks but i’d rather have 1 true friend then a bunch of fake ones. here’s the catch though, those fake friends now hate me, every time i walk by they gag at me and yell snake. it happened every day, they acted like i don’t have feelings but i do i just don’t show them. but they don’t care about how it hurts me... it’s hurts but i have to keep my head, then i come home and cry sometimes.. truste i know i’m not perfect in anyway, but i can try.

present the other day in school i had a real shitty day all the words were getting to me and i didn’t want to handle it . this might sound lame but i don’t care.. i had teachers asking me if i was okay and i didn’t even know some of them. i told them yeah just having a rough day. which is true just not the clear truth... when i got home i just sat and realized that people do care how i feel. i felt like i had people on my side for once and that not everyone wants to see my down..

if you feel like you aren’t worth to someone out there trust and believe you are.. you mean something to me even if i don’t know you i know that you are human that wants to be loved like everyone else.. please know that it will get better.. maybe not now but later. and i only say later because it takes time to heal.. please know you are worth everything and more and i love you❤️

[guymiraculous]

Ok, you all are making me blush! ☺️ #thankyou #sothebysrealty #buying #selling #imhereifyouneedme #❤️🙏🏼🙌🏼 https://www.instagram.com/p/CfC9SwcpbhX/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[peasinmypasta]

I just want to take a second and send love to anyone who may be struggling with a drug or alcohol addiction. I have worked so hard at battling my own demons and understand how difficult an escape can be. I came to a point in my life where I hated who I saw in the mirror and didn't quite grasp that it was because I was poisoning myself. The opposite of loving myself. It was during my recovery from depression that I was enlightened to love myself and forgive myself for the lot of pain that I had been holding on to, and trying to numb with substance. There is hope but it takes will. It takes determination and a drive that is extraordinary. That is an understatement for those who know. I really wish health and love to everyone that I know. This world is cruel, and that is all I really see anymore. Love is so much easier... Love you all. -P- #ripmac #loveyou #selflove #health #mentalhealth #checkyourfriends #imhereifyouneedme #dmme #talktoeachother #🖤 #drugssuck https://www.instagram.com/p/BncjEcqgHF22xMQ3ZCyl3wYDp3CQTbFsLFpPNI0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=7qt8ztb90fx2

[morgslen]

[paraphraze615]

I'll still try to be a light in your darkness though. #YoureNotAlone #ImHereForYou #ImHereIfYouNeedMe #LightInTheDarkness #BeALightInDarkness #AloneInTheDark #MeAsAFriend #TrueFriends #RealFriends https://www.instagram.com/p/B4FhEtrA3Sk/?igshid=1rs0dfyioy3mn

[toxickhaos666]

You deserve praise! 👐🏽👏🏽🙌🏽 #praise #motivation #love #youarenoticed #congrats #postitive #heyyou #yesyou #filter #bear #uplift #motivationalquotes #youareloved #imhereifyouneedme #dmmeifyouwanttotalk #inboxisalwaysopen #loveyourself #loveyou #staystrong #selflove

[cruxworldwide]

Gazorpazorp Woman // #CRUX #cruxworldwide #art #illustration #illustrator #vector #wonderwoman #gazorpazorp #gazorpazorpwoman #stickerapp #ricksanchez #mortysmith #rickandmorty #imhereifyouneedme #lassooftruth #wcw #ootd

[oneofakinddesign-ch]

I love my new resin mold for keychains! * * #custom #oneofakind #glitter #keychain #survivior #suicideawarness #imhereifyouneedme #warrior #fighter (at Sioux Falls, South Dakota) https://www.instagram.com/p/CE4J-9sj9BT/?igshid=17am2bdugm9va

[peepingnee]

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day and I just want to remind ALL of you that You Make Today Better!! ❤️❤️❤️

[niliaangel]

In the age of #limitless forms of #communication it's so hard to #speakwitheachother and when we do it's even harder to #listen without #judgement or overpowering #opinions but the worse action is no action #silence speaks louder than any answer or argument #dontignoreme at least say #damnitokiheardyou #bih lol. #communicationiskey for everything. #NothingButLove #thankyou #thanksforlistening #imhereifyouneedme I am AilinLizeth https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq3ERu8hYw1/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=7kmgfbauhquc

[free-spirited-melanin-goddess]

I first noticed I was suffering from depression in Grade 9. I literally remember life crashing down before my eyes. It wasn’t long after that when the anxiety started to kick in. I felt like the whole world was against me and I was afraid to leave my house. I used to always lie to my parents and tell them I was sick, so they would let me stay home from school. But I never told anybody how I was really feeling. In grade 11, I wrote an oral presentation for English class, and I let everything out. I told my class and my teacher, how I hated myself. I even told them about the couple of times I attempted suicide by downing pills. Back then, I didn’t really feel like I had an outlet to express myself, or anybody to talk to. A little while after graduating high school, I discovered self harm. I started burning myself (I would lie and say it was the salt and ice challenge). A little bit after that, i got more extreme, I started cutting myself; my arms, my face, my legs and my stomach. One night, I remember it just like it was yesterday, I was fed up with everything and I was on the brink of killing myself. My anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds weren’t working, I actually think they were making me a lot worse. I was ready to down every single pill, until a phone call saved my life. If it wasn’t for my SISTER @royyalt calling my family to come check on me, I seriously wouldn’t be here right now. I would have never thought I’d be in the state of mind I’m in right now. I’m in school working towards a degree, I have a job (never thought I’d say that) and I’m genuinely HAPPY !!! Of course I still have my moments, but now I know that I have people to talk to ☺️ The last time I cut myself was January 27, 2017. A huge THANK YOU to my parents for never giving up on me, my sisters @smilezz_xox @lalasolucky and Benayah for being my rocks and my support systems whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on and my BENCHHHH @royyalt for answering every call, no matter what time of night. Mental Health is extremely important ya’ll. If you feel like even the slightest feeling is off, TALK TO SOMEONE PLEASE! #WorldMentalHealthDay #ImHereIfYouNeedMe #iLoveYou

[stupendousbenny]

I may not post a lot, but know that when I do, I truly believe in what I’m saying.

[sammynutbag-blog]

Just wanted to share this and tell you ALL that I love you VERY much and I'm here if you need me :-) xxxx #friendship #hanginthere #imhereifyouneedme (at South Norwood)

[paraphraze615]

Fah real doe. #MyEx #MyExBeLike #MyExGirlfriend #ImHereIfYouNeedMe #GirlBye #FOH #GTFOH #GTFOHWTBS #GirlIfYouDontGet #Breakups #Love #Dating #Relationships https://www.instagram.com/p/BmwTjuTH47J/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=39op4dme1mny

[niliaangel]

Bitlini2018 by Ailin Lizeth #CryingWolf #StopBragging #Enough #staysafe #takecareofyourself #imhereifyouneedme #ifyouareindangercallforhelp #Somepeoplelikeitrough #Bitlini #ComicStrip #AilinLizeth #ThingsWeAllThinkAbout #Creative #Art #CyberArt #Funny #Funnies #artisart  #wellyouwerethinkingit #LikeandShare #Bitstrips #HabloEspañol #TirasComicas with the help of #Bitmoji https://www.instagram.com/p/BpshvIYBjiw/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1svmsddoqd6jl

[outlawofmymind-blog]

Hitting the Wall, Part 9: Six Words

     I got home just as Dave was getting ready to walk out for work.  Lucky, I didn’t need to really get ready.  I just had to grab my bag with my equipment and get in the car, otherwise Dave wouldn’t have waited and left me high and dry on my own.  We both got into the car without saying a word to each other. I could tell he was pissed that I was almost late.  I’m sure he could tell I didn’t give a fuck.

        “Seriously, yo, what the fuck is wrong with you?  You’re gonna get both of us fired.”

        “Yeah, I was visiting your roommate you were so fucking worried about, so chill the fuck out, man.  Carl’s been fucking locked up in the psych ward at the hospital all fucking week, and I just fucking found out.  Okay?  I’m sorry I didn’t fill out a fucking permission slip for you first before I went to go see him. Jesus fucking Christ, dude.”

        Dave paused for a second.  Obviously, like I had been, he was caught off guard by the news about Carl and didn’t know how to respond.  It only took him a few seconds before he decided to respond with more anger.

        “Well, you didn’t fucking say anything.  How the fuck was I supposed to know that?  What he calls you, and for me it’s a big secret?”

        “He’s ok, don’t worry.  And sorry you didn’t get invited to the club.  I assure you it has nothing to do with you being such a fucking asshole.”

        Another uncomfortable silence followed before Dave broke it again.  ��When’s he coming home?”

        “I don’t know, but you’ll be the first to find out.”

        The rest of the ride was silent.  Neither of us had anything else to say to the other.  We were both pissed, and while the other had nothing to really do with it, we both found ourselves taking it out on the only other person we could.  This was generally how it always went with us.

        We pulled up to the bar five minutes late.  Not really a big deal, but to Ed it was a major issue. Neither of us had showed up late for a shift in months, but strikes one and two didn’t exist with Ed and he wasn’t above berating his employees.

        “Nice to see you, gentlemen,” was our very sarcastic greeting.

        Dave was quick to get down on his knees and lick his way back into Ed’s good graces, just like an obedient lap dog.  “I’m really sorry, Ed.  We had some car problems.  The starters been all fucked up.  I’m sorry.”

        “David, you’re gonna be very sorry if you take any longer to set up that bar.”

        Just like his mother, when Dave was in trouble, Ed always called him David.  I chose to ignore Ed and just started setting up my equipment.  There weren’t any customers in the bar yet so I really didn’t see any harm done.  I wasn’t planning on feeding into Ed’s ego trip.

        The night started slowly, as most nights do.  Only a small group of people came in the first hour and none of them were really looking to party.  Dave was especially quiet tonight, most likely due to the combination of Carl’s situation and Ed reprimanding him like a toddler.  I started off spinning some pretty laid back 90’s alternative, figuring there wasn’t really a reason to make the place start jumping yet.

        Ever since we had walked in, Ed was keeping a very close eye on us.  It was like he was trying to will us to fuck something up, just so he could get the chance to show us how enormously large his dick was, expecting us to cower in fear of its power.  This was obviously much harder for Dave who, aside from being far more sensitive to it, did have a more difficult job with a higher risk or fuck ups.  One spill, broken glass, or customer who had to wait a minute too long for a beer and the wrath of the almighty Ed would reign down. I was honestly waiting for it pretty eagerly.

        My goal for the night was to not allow myself to get too drunk. The argument with Dave and Ed’s uneasiness could easily be my doom tonight if I did something stupid, not to mention the visit with Carl was wearing on me the worst now.  

        I kept thinking about what he had said about how it was being honest that got him stuck there.  I was being seized by a strong feeling of guilt.  The fact that he felt the need to unload all of the crazy stuff that was stressing him out so bad on his boss made me feel like I had let him down. Being my best friend and roommate, I couldn’t help but thinking that I shirked the responsibility to be supportive and present if he needed something.  The question of why he went to talk to his boss about things rather than try to talk to me weighed heavily.

        The most likely conclusion I drew was that I had perhaps not made it clear enough to him that I was available and willing to help in any way I could.  I definitely was there for him in every way, but I just hadn’t made it apparent enough to him.  It would’ve been so easy to just tell him “I’m here if you need me.”  How much difference could those six words have made?

        Even more unsettling about the whole situation was that the feelings in which he had told his boss to have him sent there and then that he told the doctors to have him kept were remarkably similar to those that I was experiencing, if not identical.  The general emptiness and lack of satisfaction from life, the sense of diminished self worth from being left by someone he loved, and turning to irresponsible and damaging means to cope with all of it was possibly more damaging to him than it was to me due to varying circumstances, but they were similar enough that I could see my reflection in him and it was fucking terrifying.  It was as if the Ghost of Christmas Future paid a visit and told me to get my act in shape.  If only I could have learned as well as Scrooge McDuck.

        The night ended the way it began, with Dave scrambling to make Ed happy and Ed making snide comments the entire time.  As we all walked out and Ed locked the door he told us we needed to get our shit straightened out or else we wouldn’t have jobs to fuck up anymore.   I wanted to call his bluff because to me it seemed like a win-win situation for me.  I didn’t believe he would actually fire us.  For as much as he bitched, Dave and I were the reason that place functioned and he didn’t have enough employees to cover for us.  On the other hand, if he did lose his shit and fired us, I’d be free of his tyranny.  Braveheart I am not, but I always loved the chance to challenge any authority on anything.

        The ride home was silent.  Dave drove without saying a word and kept the radio off.  I knew there was no hope of getting a McChicken tonight, so I didn’t even bother asking.  When we got to the apartment, Dave pulled up to the curb, but left the car running and didn’t unbuckle his seat belt.  I stopped and waited a second, unsure of what he was doing.  I turned and looked at him as if to ask “what’s going on?”

        “Get out,” he answered to my silent question.  “I’m staying with Brittany tonight.”

        I didn’t say anything in return, just got out of the car and went upstairs to go to bed.  It was a long day, and I was just happy it was finally over.