#imagine watching your loved ones die
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
guys. i'm thinking to much about eren jaeger and its making me so mentally ill
#he was so full of love#so so so full of love#like imagine being so full of love that you would destroy everything#that you would kill the world for those you love#just to make the world love them for killing you#imagine destroying the world to make the world love the ones you love for saving them#just so they can love them as much as you do#i could fucking throw up#imagine your fate being destruction and continuing on with it so the ones you love can be loved the way you love them#imagine knowing you will be the most hated person in the universe#and being okay with that just so the world will forgive the ones you love most#holy fucking christ#imagine watching your loved ones die#knowing that they will#imagine having to sit through that#imagine having to let your mother die so you'll have enough passion to save everything else that's meant anything to you#imagine having to kill your mother to motivate your younger self to save everyone else#imagine hating yourself so much that you let the person who loves you and that you love most... kill you#imagine being so horrible that your most beloved has do slaughter you#imagine being so horrible that your best friend has to claim blame for your death so your lover doesn't get betrayed for it for the rest of#her life#imagine loving people so much that you would be the worst person on earth for them#i want to love someone that much.
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid
#that's the hottest thing I've ever heard I feel nuts#what an absolute chad alistair continues to be tbh there may be a day when men fail but it will not be when he's here#like I'm very sorry to the blond chantry boy repeat crowd but cullen could & would NEVER!!! they are NOT the same!!!!#dragon age#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#alistair x warden#can u imagine what it must be like to be irving standing there watching this happen. you're free and your kid is dead. congrats#tried to free her from the circle and she's the sacrificial lamb that bought the circle's freedom instead. fuck dude#it does make for a very sad kind of symmetry that every time irving tries to get clever with it he triggers a monkey's paw situation fhdskj#I am replaying the game with my new canon (mistress amell + king alistair to save him from the da:i fade choice lol)#and in doing research I found out about this and had my world rocked. I've never had my warden die before so this is new to me#(my warden isn't dying in this canon to be clear she's going to be the reason no one would dare assassinate king alistair lol#nightmare bae eminance gris behind the throne/loving and supportive partner with a fade connection and a vengeful side#she's going to be like sam vimes tiredly fending off assassins as the watch books go on except she murders a lot more people back)#the way his voice breaks in the version where they were broken up tho... sick and twisted and mean to me specifically
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I have not been so physically unwell about a ship as chronohaul in a long, long time.
#I think I huave covid#I could try and form a coherent thought about this but god I cannot#knives and legato from trigun stampede were only the beginning of my problems#it's always the right-hand man and the flesh manipulation#anyone who goes “I do not understand the appeal” is valid but also#ARE YOU SEEING THE COLLARED DOG DYNAMIC HERE?#DO YOU SEE WITH YOUR EYES THESE TWO CHARACTERS#Can you imagine. Can you imagine Hari watching the person he's known for so long disappear slowly#Can you imagine Kai molding Hari into something more attuned to him for years and years until that boy on the balcony is dead#I am not an apologist for these two I think they should be euthanized with me#There is no one I can talk to about them and I think I'm gradually losing it but at least the art that I am creating looks cool#Devotion. And loyalty. The closest thing to love I'll get from you is knowing you know I will die for you#morals and ethics are just about irrelevant#it's so good reciprocated it's so good unreciprocated I want them atomized#Canary in a coal mine coded.#Probably going to delete this later I just need to talk or I'll explode#Being contented with being just Useful to someone but your heart is always hoping there's the smallest chance you'll one day be more#orb ponders
21 notes
·
View notes
Note
MARIONMORSE, DROP ANOTHER HELMETPARTY SCENARIO AND MY LIFE IS YOUUURSS 🙏🙏🙏🙏
do u think... Do you think sometimes when the team has a movie night, when they watch those 60's action war movies like "Von Ryan's Express" and "Battle of the Bulge" or spaghetti westerns like "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" and "Death Rides on a Horse," Soldier pauses during or right after fight scenes or duels or whatever to obsessively overanalyze them. Like, he'll try and turn them into strategies to use on the job, takes, uhm, 'notes', (tactical doodles,) sets up nerdy models using a whiteboard map and improvised figurines, uses these examples when he does those psyche-up pre-battle speeches or during strategy meetings.
'Cause I bet he does, I bet he does that, and it completely kills the momentum of the movie to the point where the rest of the team gets disinterested and slowly leaves him behind to do their own thing.
I genuinely bet Engie wouldn't though, nah, I bet he's enough of a patient kind of gentle kind of man willing to stick through these pauses 'cause he's just that into the movie. And maybe he's just a teeny bit into Soldier's dissections of actiony chaos. Maybe gleans a bit of an understanding of Soldier's thinking that way. Admires the guy's passion about his 'research,' how thoughtfully he gathers details in an effort to help the team. Starts mixing in tapes for these sorts of movies more regularly to their movie night pool maybe subconsciously, maybe on purpose. The rest of the team doing their own movie night. losers.
#soldier being autistic about 60's action movies#just like me fr fr#the original die hard would fucking KILL him oh my god can you imagine#engie sitting with sparkly eyes watching soldier go off about the duel in a fistful of dollars:#tf2 headcanons#tf2#engineer tf2#helmet party#engiesolly#eftanz u are a hero genuinely your art killed me then brought me back its crazy#praying to the time and space gods to let me airdrop reels of die hard indiana jones and robocop to the red base like a hunger games sponsor#guy gets shot in a movie:#soldier tf2 with his jaw wide open: holy shit... did you see that..?#when u asked this i though “oh god oh no this well is dry what am i gonna do”#but then this happened. ily#solly is over here developing advanced attack methods inspired by war epics#engie over here like: waow... he's so passionate... sighs...#maybe hes just happy somebody else loves cheesy spaghetti westerns#j....just like me.......fr.....#romcom trope where they reach for the popcorn bucket at the same time and touch hands#romcom trope where the characters in the movie fall in love and engie looks up at soldier like “wow....thats crazy haha...”#the onesided movie date. engie is too nervous to ask him on a real one so this will do.#for now.
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can't imagine being Mrs Everdeen. But I do wish to try.
Imagine standing to the side roped off from your children and being unable to do anything as your youngest is reaped. Knowing she won't make it because she's too tenderhearted and too young. You know as her name is called, that she will die. And yet you can't change it. You just gets to watch as your child is slowly marched forward to her death.
Imagine the hopelessness she feels. Having braved the few years of Katniss's first reapings alone, and now having to endure Prims reaping and all the while wishing she had her husband by her side to help her get through it. But she's done it for the past four years with Katniss, so surely this one won't be as bad? Only it's worse. Because it's Prims first reaping. The chances of it even happening are so slim. Katniss made sure of that. And yet, it is, in fact, her name being called.
And you wait in silence as your gut sinks and your eyes close, and you take a second to remember your daughter before she's gone. You regret giving birth because all it's done is lead to here. You regret it, and you feel so resentful. And some part of you thinks this isn't the way it should be. Not her. Not Prim. She doesn't have what it takes to claw and strangle her way to the top. She's dead before she's started.
Your gut lunches and your heart beats too fast. You feel sick. Until you hear your other daughter. The one who has been your family's rock. Who's your rock, is now stepping forward to take her sisters place. You release a breath and part of you unclenches. Because even if you would never speak it, even if you would never want to think it, even as you think it and feel disgusted with yourself, you know that you would rather Katniss go in.
She could do it. She's done so much. For years she's taken care of a family. Kept them fed by skill alone. She's your daughter. You should tremble at the thought of her going in, and you do. But not as much as knowing it could have been Prim.
And all you can do is sit back, watch it happen feeling more than grateful. Knowing this child has saved you in more ways than you can count and how often you've failed her. Despite failing her again and again every day she still continues to provide and protect. She still takes the role of mother when you haven't.
As your sixteen year old daughter marches forward, you get to feel safe one last time, grateful to have this decision made for you.
#katniss everdeen#primrose everdeen#mrs everdeen#reaping#hunger games#imagine having to live knowing for one guilty second you were grateful your child chose to die#prim and katniss got two different mothers#prim still got to view her as a mother#katniss just saw another person to feed#god i love them#katniss was HOPE for so many people not just peeta and the districts#she was her familys pride and joy#i think after they both lost prim mrs everdeen found it hard to look Katniss in the eye knowing Prim died doing what she taught her#she always thought it would be katniss dying from sneaking out#she never expected it to be prim because she wanted to save people like her mother#god the guilt in this family is wild#this is by no means justification for mrs everdeen as someone who has mommy issues i love that katniss and her mother always have#a strained relationship this is just to say n#mrs everdeen has a narrative too#id love to see what shes feeling as the series happens#watching peeta almost die for her#knowing your daughter not only saved you but all the districts as well#just having to be proud of her but knowing youve lost the chance to say it and step up for her#just i feel a lot about this
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m getting irrationally annoyed by those “immortality isn’t so bad yeah your loved ones would eventually die but that’ll happen anyway” posts. are you just not gonna love anyone else after those people die?? and if you do youre okay with that cycle repeating thousands of times????? now if i was part of a group of immortals then hell yea brother sounds good but i just. don’t understand the idea of being okay with being fundamentally alone forever
#it’s wild to me how people are like ‘i’d get to experience so much!’#you’d never get to experience growing old since i’m assuming ppl posting this aren’t in their like 80s or 90s#which i imagine would weigh quite heavy on ppl after centuries of watching ppl grow old and die#wouldn’t your experience of life make it difficult to connect with ppl too?? how are u gonna make new connections when their lives are lik#little blips in time to you#‘oughhh it’s so selfish you want one of your loved ones to bury you’ do u think they’d be more okay with knowing you’d be alone forever once#they’re gone#anyway this is such a non issue I just need to yell into the void#idk maybe it’s bc I’ve lost 3 family members in the past 2 years but those posts are So Annoying
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
HIS HAIR STICKING UP OH MY GOODNESS
#WHY is he so cute#i notice this every time i watch this scene now#let me stroke down his hair PLEASE#i love maximus so much y’all#i love all russell’s characters in different ways#but maximus is always the special one to me#he’s the one i’d choose out of any man in the world#and it’s not because he’s so blindingly attractive!!!!!#it’s everything else!!!!#his nobility his humility his sweetness his protectiveness his loyalty his honor#there has NEVER been a man like this man#i’m going to live and die in love with him#and look how cute he looks here ahhhhhh#i just want to put my mouth RIGHT THERE on the back of his neck#imagine him just leaning his head back to look at you while you’re playing with his hair#I’M GONNA DIE ABOUT IT#maximus i will be your wife anytime you say the word#i’ll leave behind the 21st century just as long as i get to spend every day with you#guys i think i’m going full delusional#but in the fun way ✌🏻#gladiator#russell crowe#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
insane about lucina today
#tactician's log#awakening#imagine. you’re the ONE PERSON with the power to end the nightmare your world is living through#(technically one of two or three people but the others are your younger sibling and cousin and you won’t put that on them)#you grow up knowing this. your mother and aunt and the other adults in your life try to protect you from it for as long as they can#but already the sword is in your hands and the weight is on your shoulders#over and over you watch your father’s friends die just to buy time for you to grow up enough to do what he failed to#(all because he trusted his best friend too deeply)#and when you get to the end you find that it was all hopeless anyway. one of the gemstones is gone and there’s nothing you can do about it#and there’s no other way to fix things. your timeline is lost#but because you can’t stomach the thought of all of it being in vain you decide to go back in time to try and prevent it#just so there can be ONE timeline where the apocalypse never happens. where some version of you and your friends can grow up happy and safe#it makes me INSANE man#number 1 eldest daughter syndrome haver in the world i love her so much
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
When you say "everyone has to vote for Biden cause we need to protect our rights cause Trump will make it worse" what you're actually saying is "I don't think the lives of Arabs and Muslims matter as much as my own"
#so that begs the question why are you following a brown girl from a muslim family of you dont think we matter?#imagine saying this to a palestinian american whos watching their love ones and people die in the thousands while thw world turns#a blind eye and knowing that the money worked so hard to earn is going to fund the slaughter of your people#like im begging you people please understand how cruel you are being
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wanting to look at true crime stuff to learn about psychology and criminal investigation but only finding a bunch of people who idolize and “uwu-ify” serial killers and school shooters 😬 fucking YIKES
#Also: notice how it’s only the young attractive ones that get idolized? Everyone definitely does it because of the looks#I don’t see anyone fawning over Fish or Kemper saying “OOHHHHH THE TRAGIC BACKSTORY” because both of them LOOK terrifying#They just want an edgy twink to project onto and they’re getting their material in the worst fucking place EVER#It’s disrespectful#and DO NOT come at me with “don’t like; don’t read”#It’s not about me not liking it; it’s about the families of the victims constantly being retraumatized#because Netflix and all the big entertainment crime shows know you all eat that shit up#It’s supply and fucking demand#You are demanding; producers supply… romanticize and dramatize…#The news covers the shows; the victims have to hear about it because everyone watches the news. Rinse and repeat.#Fuck off fuck off fuck off fuck off#Uh… reality affects reality… basically. It’s not fiction (though fiction affects reality differently). These are real people.#You wanna idolize a fucked-up twink? Fine! GET A FICTIONAL CHARACTER; NOT A REAL-LIFE MONSTER#They’re not that deep; most of them just hate their mother and minority groups#or otherwise take advantage of the fact that police don’t care about minority groups so they think they’re so smart for being bigots#that’s not intelligence; that’s being an entitled asshole#Imagine the death of your loved one constantly being shown to the entire world for other people’s profit; you get nothing out of it.#Imagine a very painful part of your private life being TELEVISED FOR YEARS when you’re trying to leave it behind you#I don’t even care when people die; but THAT (as a concept which I have not experienced) pisses me off#Now regarding old cases where everyone involved has been dead for 70+ years? That’s a little different#You still shouldn’t idolize these assholes; but if Netflix wants to make a movie?#Have at it; they’re all dead! The victims’ families can’t be revictimized because the ones alive now didn’t experience it
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Can't believe I spent so much time thinking kiku and kinemon were dead... they really got me there...
#damn izo...... can we get back to that i do not care that much about raizo and this guy...#AND WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD??? damn the reverie..... and sabo#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1063#also the thing i said episodes ago about kaido being luffys foil because he loves fighting and they smile all the time... and then we get#king saying he thinks he is joyboy bc he saved him.... but the difference of those new worlds they imagine and how kaido wants to die and#luffy the complete opposite.... yeah yeah#toko..... and this swordmaker man just adopting little girls... he is the father that stepped up (multipile times)#kaido just having a drink.... he is just having some fun... fighting and drinking... average friday night for him... thats his love language#it is his love language... he said he just accepted him aldjsks i was just saying shit... see he is just having some fun witj his peer#luffy was so confused with all this he got hit akdhsks first person ever to bamboozle him.....#drunk kadio is so fun to watch.... crying about his son escaping and how everything goes wrong ajdkskskk#his impulsivity and like unpredictability just make him better while drunk akdhsksjk luffy should try shrooms if thats what he prefers....#what devil fruit???? also get robin's name out of your mouth!!!!!! OH ZOU!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE#IT'S LUFFYS DEVIL FRUIT.... WHICH HAS ANOTHER NAME....... WONDER WHY HMMM...🤔🤔#also kaido saying luffy likes him too much.... that's another secret fruit JAHSJAHA#episode 1064#zoro just bleeding out on the floor... nvm he died... well... there are other swordsmen.... this looks like an impressionist film#zoro doesnt get it... he is powerless against death....#IZO NOOO!!!! HE GOT STABBED!!! jesus.... MARCO HELP!!! MARCOOOO WHAT IS HE DOING#THE FUCKING CP0 NO!!! WHAT??? well i respect that decision... leave him alone get a job etc. NOOOOO YOU WON'T WIN!!!#do not make a deal with them either... izo.....#love how traffy and kid have each one (1) woman on their crew. its not ooking good on the diversity office#mugiwara no chibi.... exacty..... also how is big mom tired... i mean i get it but damn.... LAW GOT HER!!! YEAAHHH!!! FINISH HER!!!#law needs to cut her to pieces like he did with that guy.... come on.... punk corna DIO??? omg its a bull.... BUT IMPALE HER!!!#well i see progress now at least.... but until kid magnetos her ass idk... law needs to start cutting also.......#episode 1065
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Needed to listen to some music while I did the dishes and for some reason picked “von” from the zankyou no terror soundtrack and jesus god. Experiencing emotions that don’t exist.
#meg talks#i don’t think i ever rewatched znt#i watched it back in like 2014 or 2015 the one time and the ending made me so sad i never revisited it#but god. i went back and watched the ferris wheel scene just now and it’s such a great scene on its own#but von just Makes It u know. yoko kanno you never fucking miss#i need to rewatch it just for the music. god.#but anyway i don’t think i rlly appreciated the ferris wheel scene as a youngun#i mean i must have to some degree bc it’s like the only scene from the whole show that i remember lmfao#but watching it this time… god… ‘’you don’t have to apologize anymore. it’s not your fault.’’#and the quiet way he just goes to work even tho he knows it won’t change anything… the love in that…#and how lisa’s fear just vanishes when she realizes what it means that someone loves her enough to die for her and doesn’t even blame her…#like just hearing that and feeling loved so completely made her no longer afraid to die bc it was all she ever wanted. god. jesus fucking ch#anyway it gave me some evil ideas about cunoesse and ruby of all things. no i won’t elaborate bc the context is all in my brain#but like imagine i wrote a sweeping epic about ruby klaasje and cunoesse all on the lam#and it was awesome and sad.#idk maybe if anyone wants to hear me word vomit in dms or smth i will but it’s too embarrassing to try to explain LDKSHSGDJ#anyway. the dishes did get done in case u were wondering. just very somberly
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
yup he unraveled folks
#tv: longing for you#longing for you#ena longing for you#오랫동안 당신을 기다렸습니다#na in woo#kim ji eun#kwon yool#kdrama#local gay watches k-dramas.txt#God. i feel so bad for him bc he did have a moment of misdirection and take Jin Woo in for questioning after he treated him so well#when he sprained his ankle not far from the restaurant#but imagine having to deal with a murder case. having to watch the footage. try to reinvestigate only to find out that your parents#killed your half-brother so you could live. think about what that does to a person#idk ig one thing i love about the relationship that Jin Sang and Young Woon have now is that he didn't accuse him of anything#when he came to give him the evidence. he just gave it to him and asked him to confirm it himself#Young Woon is literally being hit by a train and run over rn like he has to grieve for the brother he never knew he had and then#still live with the knowledge that it's his heart that's in his chest. f*cked up fr this man is in the preview like 'why didn't you#just let me die' they turned the man suicidal got the rest of the team trying to take him off the case so he doesn't get hurt#or do stupid sh*t#stress!!!!! stress i say!!!!!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
This is so valid. You GET IT, my friend. 😭
"You need to break the time loop. Stop trying to save me. I love you."
[This message has been played 18446744073709551615 times. Would you like to hear it again?]
#UGHHHH GOJO STUCK IN A TIMELOOP#Gojo for all that his power is approaching godhood cannot save the ones he loves????#God the irony is delicious#Can you imagine him initially being so prideful convinced that saving you would be SO EASY and slowly being broken down to the point#Of grim determination#Can you imagine him staring at you with just the sweetest/bitterest smile trying to savor your presence while also bracing for the#Inevitable fall?#Can you imagine him holding you and thinking maybe this is the timeline where he saves you maybe maybe maybe#It's the maybes that would keep him going#He would love you to ruination#He would love you to insanity#(which is why i believe timeloop gojo would also have a bit of yandere flavors to him)#Also so so so so obsessed with this concept lately:#How can he look at the world and see anything beautiful through the same eyes that watched you die#How can he hold anything precious in his arms when it's the same arms that held and failed you#In saving you he saves himself#MY FRIEND YOU G E T IT ����😭😭#I'm so OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT#This is perf bec i hit a writing block while i was writing earlier
17K notes
·
View notes
Text
LADY STRONG
Benjicot Blackwood x Velaryon/Strong!Reader
Summary - Stuck in the Riverland's on a marriage tour, you pretend to be Lady Strong when Benjicot Blackwood doesn't recognize you as the Princess of the Seven Kingdoms
Warnings - none except not edited!!
Word Count - 3.1k
!MINORS DNI!
// masterlist // send me your thoughts // comments & reblogs appreciated! //
As if the prospect of a marriage tour was not horrid enough, your first stop was proving to be positively dreadful.
You had imagined the lands surrounding the Trident to be beautiful. A lush, verdant landscape—filled with fragrant herbs and bright, blooming flowers, painting the Riverlands in rich, colorful hues. You pictured babbling streams and plush grass, stunning castles and, perhaps, some equally as stunning men.
What you hadn’t imagined, however, was the weather.
Even from within the confines of Riverrun—the ancestral castle of House Tully—you still feel the effects of the merciless heat beating down upon the sandstone walls.
Your handmaids had tried to dress you accordingly, stuffing you into your thinnest—and, consequently, your least regal—gown, in hopes that it might prevent sunstroke. Yet still, even as three of Lord Tully’s own servants try fanning you while you sulk in the dining hall, you feel as though every inch of your body is drenched in sticky sweat.
“This is miserable,” you groan to Ser Lorent, the Kingsguard who had been assigned to your tour. Flanking your right, you spare the knight a pitiful, sidelong glance. “I believe I would sooner die a spinster than be forced to live in this sweltering purgatory!”
The servants, haphazardly positioned around the table, remain utterly stone-faced, not letting on if they found your comment about their homelands to be humorous or offensive.
Ser Lorent merely laughs. “The Riverlands are known for their humid summers, princess.” With a wink, he adds, “If you ever bothered with your studies, you would know this.”
“I study!”
“With the blade, perhaps,” Ser Lorent muses, his teal eyes twinkling with lighthearted mockery. “But certainly not with books, princess.
Rolling your eyes, you slump further into your chair, your body practically melting into the upholstery. “Leave the geography lessons to Jace,” you tell him, waving an idle hand. “After all, he's the heir to the Iron Throne. I am merely the prized broodmare—” focusing on your plate, and the half-eaten lunch upon it, you try swallowing the bitter tang now filling your mouth—“a royal womb to be sold off to the highest bidder.”
And, at times, you aren’t even sure if that is considered an honest truth… You’ve certainly never felt royal.
Like your brothers, you were born extraordinarily plain-featured. With no silver hair or lilac eyes, you appear more like a common-born peasant than someone of prized Valyrian stock—and it didn’t help that, unlike your brothers, you had no dragon, either.
Ser Lorent watches as you absently push a piece of seared cod around your plate, sighing. “That isn’t true, my princess.” His words are tinged with sympathy. “You are being sold to no one. Your mother wishes for you to have a marriage born of love—not duty.”
“Ah, yes,” stabbing the fish with the prongs of your fork, you bring it to your lips, “which is why I’m being forced to spend my summer meeting with the haughty sons of fat country lords—for love.”
His tongue clicks with disapproval. “Your mother has given you a choice in selecting your own husband, princess; which is a luxury not granted to many women.”
Frowning, you pop the piece of fish into your mouth, turning his words over in your head.
Gods.
You hate it when he’s right.
“Fine,” you relent, still chewing. Turning sideways in your chair, you raise your fork to him in a mock threat, “But my earlier statement stands! If I must take a husband, then it certainly won’t be anyone from here—lest I become no more than a puddle of sweat.”
Ser Lorent cracks a smile at you. “Should you turn to a puddle, princess, then I vow to mop you from the floor.”
“How valiant of you, Ser Lorent,” you laugh. “I’m unsure of how I might ever repay you for such loyalty.”
“I’m not sure you have to worry about that, princess—I don’t believe that puddles are much concerned with matters of debt.”
Turning back to the table, another soft laugh spills from your lips. “I suppose you’re right, Ser.”
All too soon, however, your amusement begins to fade. A warm breeze blows in through the many open windows lining Riverrun’s dining hall, the stifling air only accentuating the stickiness of your skin.
Sucking in a deep, heavy breath, you ask, “How long do we have?”
Ser Lorent doesn’t ask for clarification, knowing almost at once what you were asking him. “We’re expected back in the Great Hall in a little under an hour, princess.”
You blow the breath out, groaning slightly.
An hour—that's all the time you had left before you would be forced back upon the dais, expected to once again smile and be cordial as men and boys from all across the Riverlands made their case for your hand.
How many of them could possibly be left? This morning alone you had met with dozens upon dozens of them, their voices all blurring into a monotonous hum as they spoke of the history of their Houses��if one can consider nonsensical legends from the ancient Age of Heroes as true history, that is.
Noticing the dreadful pall cast over you, Ser Lorent clamps a comforting hand on your shoulder. “How about a walk before we go back? It might help to clear your head,” he suggests. Then, with a wry grin, “Perhaps you might wish to think back on the men from this morning—see if any of them might make you change your tune about life in the Riverlands.”
You pin him with a playful scowl. “There’s not a man alive that could change that tune,” you vow. “But you’re right—a walk might be nice.”
Rising from your seat, the servants around you lower their fans, silently dismissing themselves.
“Will you be accepting my company on this walk?” Ser Lorent teases—though you know what he’s really asking is: will you be accepting my protection.
“After this morning, I believe I’ve had enough company for a lifetime.”
The knight’s brow draws tight, an apprehensive frown beginning to pull at the corners of his lips. You roll your eyes.
“Oh, don’t worry so much, Ser Lorent. It gives you wrinkles,” you tease. Adjusting the slit running along one side of your dress, you reveal the dagger holstered on your thigh. “I assure you that if any of these Riverlanders dare lay a hand on me, they’ll lose some fingers.”
Ser Lorent snorts, head shaking. “It’s not you I worry about, princess,” he jokingly admits. “Just stay close by, understand? Your mother will have my head if anything happens to you.”
“Yes, yes—understood,” you dramatically gripe, already walking past him to the exit.
“Oh, and princess?” He calls out just as the guards pull the doors open for you to leave. You glance over your shoulder at him, brows lifted. “At least try not to injure anyone.”
With one last roll of your eyes, bright with mischief, you shout on your way out, “No promises, Ser Lorent!”
Wandering through the outer yards of Riverrun, the blistering sun beating down upon your skin, you find yourself overwhelmed by a sudden ache in your chest.
You miss home. Desperately.
You miss Dragonstone’s near-constant cover of clouds, forever shielding you from the heat. You miss the cool breeze rolling in off the Blackwater, the air peppering your cheeks with salty kisses.
But even as you dream of a reprieve from the muggy Riverlands, you can’t help but miss your family—your brothers—most of all.
Perhaps it is that feeling that led you here, to the training yard, guided by the familiar lull of splintering wood and steel slicing through the air, the sound offering a much-needed remedy to the homesickness twisting in your gut.
Smaller than the one at Dragonstone, Riverrun’s yard was no more than a cramped stretch of dusty-dirt, lined with old training dummies and archery targets. Mostly encircled by the towering sun-bleached stones of the castles, only a small part of the yard remained open to the sprawling gardens beyond, sectioned off by ornate iron fencing.
Striding over the open gate, your attention falls upon the lone boy standing in the yard's center.
As the sunlight beats down overhead, long shadows dance around his feet as he glides through a set of movements—each step calculated, every strike deliberate.
You step closer, keeping your steps light as you approach. With his back turned to you, you watch as sweat drips down his neck, glistening. It soaks into his tunic, the thin black material clinging to his lean, muscled back.
He’s talented—you think, studying his form.
Talent is something you're familiar with—intimately. You were raised around warriors—trained by the Rogue Prince himself. Yet never before had you found yourself so utterly bewitched by a fighter.
He didn’t move like other boys.
He wasted no time on the flowery style displayed by so many summer children—the ones who thought of battle as a performance rather than a matter of life or death.
Instead, he moved with the lethal prowess of an apex predator—his blade cutting through the air with a controlled ferocity that, while lacking the flourish of other warriors, was undeniably impressive.
Dirt flies as he throws himself into another set of movements—a series of strikes and parries, executing with unbelievable precision. With every twist and pivot, muscles tense and shift beneath his tunic, his body as powerful a weapon as his sword.
He lunges forward—and wood cracks! as he slashes his blade along the belly of one of the dummies, a move that would have disemboweled a living opponent.
Cutting through the sudden stillness, you bring your hands up to your chest, filling the yard with a slow clap. Back still turned to you, the boy's spine goes ramrod straight at the unexpected sound.
“Impressive,” you muse, taking another step towards him. Mere feet remain between the two of you, now. “You move well—better than most, I’d say.”
The boy spins around to face you, his once elegant movements now blundering as he nearly trips over his own feet. Biting your tongue, you try to hold in a laugh.
Big, storm-cloud eyes meet your gaze, pinning you in place as he blinks, visibly thrown-off by your presence. “Sorry-” he stammers, out of breath. “I didn’t think anyone else would be coming out here-”
You lift a hand, cutting him off with a smile. “Oh, no—don’t apologize on my account! I enjoyed the show,” you tell him. “Seems that you have a real talent for swordplay.”
His cheeks flush, his lightly sun-kissed skin turning a stark crimson. “Thanks.” His laugh is a nervous, awkward thing—endearing, too. He sticks a hand out towards you, the other still limply holding his sword. “Benjicot. Blackwood,” he introduces himself, fumbling over his words, “but you can call me Ben or Benji—or anything, really.”
You take his hand, biting your lip to mask your amusement. “Pleasure to meet you, Benji.”
A beat of silence passes before confusion finally tugs at his features, his hand falling back to his side. “Uhm—” another sweet, awkward laugh— “and you are…?”
Realization dawns on you, leaving your brows to shoot up to your hairline.
Seven Hells. He doesn't know, does he?
A sudden speechlessness grabs hold of your tongue.
You suppose you shouldn’t be surprised—after all, you aren't what many expected of a Targaryen princess.
Plain-featured and dressed in thin, common clothes, you imagine you likely appear no different than the servants surrounding you at lunch, fanning you to keep the heat from going to your head.
Even so, it's rare that you met someone who doesn't know who you are. And, selfishly, after a morning filled with insincere compliments from haughty Lord’s, you like the idea of remaining nameless—titleless—for the first time in your life.
“Wow—sorry—that was thoughtless of me, wasn’t it?” Tapping a finger to your temple, you laugh. “I’m Mylissa,” you lie, stealing the name of one of your handmaidens. “Mylissa Strong.”
“Strong?” He echoes, brow furrowing. “Strange—you don’t sound like you’re from the Riverlands. Your accent is—”
“Southern?”
Benji nods.
“Well, I’ve spent the better part of my life in the Crownlands, so I suppose I’ve picked up their accent,” you explain. “I’m here with the princess, actually—as her lady-in-waiting.”
The mention of the princess—you—turns his skin a pasty white.
Keeping a tight leash on your curiosity, you try not to sound too intrigued when you ask, “And what about you? Raventree Hall is a decent ride from here, is it not?” On horseback, the ancestral seat of House Blackwood was two days away from Riverrun, if not three. “Are you here to meet with the princess?”
Benji shifts his weight, leaning from one foot to the other. “Supposed to,” he begins, his words tumbling out, “but I don’t know—I’m not so sure that I’ll go through with it.”
Your expression falters, disappointment washing over you like a cold wave, combatting the intolerable warmth of the sun.
“Why not?”
He shrugs—a timid, shy gesture that feels so unlike the predator you had snuck up on. “There are over a hundred men in there,” he waves an arm to the castle, to the Great Hall within, “all waiting for an opportunity to impress the princess—meanwhile, I can hardly get out a single sentence without choking on my own spit.”
Your laughter bubbles up involuntarily, a few giggles spilling past your lips. The Blackwood boy shoots you a playful glare from beneath long, dark lashes.
“Well,” you begin, absentmindedly toeing the dirt between you, “perhaps the princess might find it endearing, don’t you think?”
Benji scoffs. “Doubtful. I mean, think about it!—she’s a princess!”
Your eyes widen, glimmering with mock-offense. “And what is that supposed to mean?”
Once again, that crimson tinge returns to his skin, crawling up his neck, this time.
“I meant no offense,” he defends himself, mistaking your expression for one of a Lady meaning to defend her princess. “But what could I possibly offer a princess?”
You tilt your head, pretending to think on his words. “Well, the Blackwoods do have a history of being valiant warriors, do they not? And you seem to be quite skilled yourself,” you say, daring to let your stare drift down to his arms, the short sleeves of his tunic revealing well-muscled, sweat-slick biceps.
He snorts. “I’m willing to guess that the princess would likely care naught for my skill with a sword.”
“Then you would guess wrong,” you retort, a faint, teasing smile on your lips. “Many say that the princess herself is quite skilled with a blade—I imagine she would quite like a boy that’s capable of challenging her.”
Benji’s eyes darken a shade, an unreadable expression crossing his features. “And what about you, Mylissa?”
The false name catches you off-guard, but you do your best to hide it.
“What of me?”
A bit nervous, he asks, “Would you like a boy that can challenge you?”
Your heart stutters in your chest—skipping several beats as his stare lowers, dipping past your waist and falling upon your thigh. On the dagger sheathed there, no doubt.
Heat begins to crawl up your neck, hotter even than the sun's blistering rays. “Oh—” You stutter, words lost upon you.
It’s true that you were used to the attention of men. After all, your morning has been filled with it, and soon enough the rest of your day will be, too.
But this was different.
Benji wasn’t giving you attention because you’re a princess, a mere royal womb to strengthen his House’s bloodline. Rather, he was doing it simply because he wanted to—a feeling that was utterly foreign to you.
Wiping a clammy hand on his sweaty tunic, Benji misreads your silence, taking a half-step back. “Apologies, my Lady—that was too forward and-”
You don’t let him finish his rambling. Taking a step forward, you close the gap he sought to create between you. “I’ll make you a deal.”
“A deal?”
You nod. “As you know, the princess will be in the Great Hall for the rest of the evening, holding court with the other Lord’s who’ve come for her hand. I'd like for you to meet with her.”
Benji cocks his head, confusion crinkling the corners of his eyes. “I truly mean no disrespect to your princess, my Lady, but I was asking if you might be interested in–”
“I know what you’re asking, Benji.” You lift one shoulder in a casual shrug. “And after you meet with the princess, if you still wish to inquire about my hand,” you say, placing a palm to your chest, “then I will happily hear you out.”
In the distance, a bell sounds out—signaling the time, you realize.
“If you’ll excuse me,” you start, already taking a few small half-steps backwards. “I’m expected inside.”
Letting his sword drop to the ground, Benji lunges forward to catch your wrist. “So you agree to meet with me after court, then?”
“If you’re still interested,” you muse, a tinge of anxiety laced through your tone, “then yes.”
The corners of his lips twitch into a bashful smile. “I give you my word that–”
You planned to interrupt him. To tell him not to make oaths he wasn’t certain he could keep, knowing that he may very well change his mind about you once he realizes who you are—that you’re not technically a Strong. But, before you can, another voice intervenes.
“Princess!” Ser Lorent calls out, exasperated, as he walks through the gate. “We must hurry, princess,” he continues, pausing only to give a wary glance at Benji’s hands wrapped around your wrist. “We’re late.”
Your pulse begins to pound, a surge of adrenaline coursing through your veins at being exposed as a liar by Ser Lorent.
Benji’s face goes blank—then his eyes go wide, big as saucers as you snag your wrist from his grip.
“Princess...” He utters, voice laden with disbelief. “Princess?!”
You can hardly bring yourself to do anything other than grin stupidly at him, nearly stumbling over yourself as you back-up to where Ser Lorent is waiting impatiently.
“It was lovely meeting you, Benji!”
You hope he can hear just how genuine your words are.
“I’ll see you in the Great Hall,” you call out over your shoulder, sparing him one last glance as Ser Lorent guides you to the gate, watching as he blinks in astonishment, still processing the revelation.
Walking back towards the inner-castle, Ser Lorent glances down at you with a knowing look. “You seem giddy.” There’s a teasing glint to his words that makes you roll your eyes, cheeks flushing. “So,” he continues, his brisk pace never faltering, “does this mean that your statement from lunch no longer stands? That, perhaps, this sweltering purgatory may yet grow on you?”
You bite your cheek, a permanent grin still etched onto your face.
“Let’s just say that I’ve decided it’s best to keep my options open, Ser Lorent.”
a/n - you may ask yourself: lainie, why would you refer to him as mostly BEN in the last fic and BENJI in this one??
and the answer? I have not ONE clue. my brain is rotting and benji is cute.
anyways, hope you guys enjoy this one! feel like I got to explore more of his personality here. additionally, I need HBO to know that if this boy ends up not being benjicot blackwood then I'm gonna fucking riot
benjicot blackwood tag list - @a-song-for-ages @ghostinvenus
#benjicot blackwood imagine#ben blackwood imagine#hotd imagine#bloody ben imagine#benji blackwood imagine#benjicot blackwood x reader#ben blackwood x reader#ben blackwood imagines#benjicot blackwood#benji blackwood x reader#bloody ben x reader#hotd imagines#house of the dragon#house of the dragon imagine#house of the dragon fanfic#benji blackwood#hotd fan fic#hotd x reader#hotd fanfic#house of dragon imagine#hotd season 2#asoiaf imagine#asoiaf
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Imagine Simon's mom doesn't die with Tommy and Beth. Maybe she was out of town, or at a friend's house, and Roba's men were sloppy and missed her. Anyway, so it's just Simon and her now, and because he blames himself for what happened, he's pulled away from her.
He pays her rent, even if he wanted her to live in a nicer apartment complex. And he visits during her birthday and Mother's Day, and sometimes just randomly stops by. But he never stays very long, and he doesn't tell her a lot about his new life. It's a very one sided relationship, but she tries to make the best of it.
And then you move in next door, during one of Simon's deployments. You feel bad for the sweet lady that lives next to you. She never seems to have much company, and you take it upon yourself to befriend her, spending more time in her apartment than your own.
You learn about her ex husband, her sons, the tragedy, and most importantly, you learn about Simon. And you hate him. Mrs. Riley (she insists you call her Sarah) is such a lovely woman, and it's clear how much she cares about her living son, how hard she's trying to keep their relationship alive.
It's the second Mother's Day after you move in when you finally meet Simon. Your relationship with your own mother is complicated, so you've opted to spend the day with Mrs. Riley. You'd gotten her a small present, and had planned to spend the day drinking wine and watching historical romance movies.
You're thoroughly shocked when you knock on her door, and a man answers. Six feet, built like a brick house, but under his scowl, you recognize Sarah's eyes.
“You must be Simon.”
His scowl deepens, but before he can say anything, Mama Riley is pushing past him, pulling you into her apartment to fuss over you.
She apologizes for not telling you sooner, but your plans will have to be rescheduled. Simon's back early, and she can't waste a precious second.
You're understanding. You've listened to her worried rants, given her space to cry over how things have turned out. You know she loves spending time with her son, even if the visits are short and he doesn't talk much.
Simon doesn't miss the way you glare at him. There's a fury in your eyes, even as you cheerily wish his mother a happy mother's day. For a moment, he wonders if you're a spy. But that thought is quickly diminished, when you verbally eviscerate him at the door.
You're quiet, not wanting to upset his mom, but your anger is clear. It may not be your business, but Mama Riley is your friend, and you adore the older woman. And you cannot stand by while he treats her like this. She loves her son so much, and he needs to step up and try harder.
As you're chewing him out, Simon's already head over heels, planning your wedding as the seconds tick by.
(A/N: You can read this as a stand alone piece, but I did write 3 more drabbles (four in total!) for this! They're all on my blog under the tag mama riley au. Thank you for reading!)
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#we're ignoring canon because this was all i could think about at work today#he'd get his shit together so fast. and his mom would immediately clock him for having a crush.#she'd be more protective of you than him lol#my writing#mama riley au
5K notes
·
View notes