#imagine taking your nice car to get its tires rotated and you come back an hour later and its been TOTALED.

[florida3exclamationpoints]

FAM someone got my dad into a car accident today (no one's hurt) but it wasn't even this dude's car he worked at a MAITAINENCE PLACE AND WAS TESTING A CUSTOMER'S CAR AND CAUSED AN ACCIDENT IN IT???? Peace and love to the poor guy who was just trying to get his OIL CHANGED OR SMTH

[ashintheairlikesnow]

4: numb, for Kauri?

(going through some old prompts just... collecting cobwebs in my inbox)

CW: Drunk whumpee, trauma references, trauma memories, past abduction, past noncon, past abuse, very brief emeto reference, nausea reference, BRIEF pet whump reference, this is Kauri at his most fucked-up but it ends nicely I promise, content warning for some serious fucking yearning

The walk back in the dark is a little... wobblier than usual, but Kauri doesn’t care. He stepped off the bus and stumbled when his ankle turned as he hit the sidewalk, rolling forward and finding himself in a bush, a bit of landscaping carefully kept up by some guy who drives a truck around cleaning up the bus stops.

Kauri giggles, then pushes his hands over his mouth to quiet himself, fails, giggles some more. His hair gets caught in a little bit of branch and he winces as he yanks it free and loses a curl.

The bush gets to keep that one. Maybe the guy who trims the bushes will find it tomorrow and fall madly in love with him, like Cinderella’s glass slipper. Kauri starts laughing at the idea of the guy in his big neon orange-and-yellow reflective vest and his stupid button-up shirt with the city seal embroidered on it holding up a curl of black hair to this person or that, looking for its match.

“Hey, man,” A woman says, crouching in front of him. She’s older than he is, maybe by ten years, maybe less. Kauri can’t tell and she’s lit only by the harsh pale streetlight, adding definition to beginning wrinkles around her mouth. Or he’s making that up. Her face is kind of blurred anyway, spinning a little like everything else. She’s wearing hospital scrubs under a coat, her hair pulled into a no-nonsense bun at the nape of her neck. She reminds him of Nat’s neighbor lady, only a bunch younger. “You gonna make it home?”

Home. What the fuck is a home? Home is where they lock the doors, home is where you get the shit kicked out of you for trying to leave. Home is where he holds you down on the bed until you cry because it hurts, and it’s always going to hurt unless you want me, Kor-Bore, you know that-

Kauri’s giggles hiccup into something like a sob.

The bus is still idling along the curb next to the stop, and the bus driver knows Kauri - sees him two or three times a week in variations on drunk or high or scared or elated. She leans down and calls out, “You gonna be okay, Kauri?”

Maybe one day he won’t. Maybe one day someone will murder him in a dark alley instead of hooking up or shove him into the trunk of a car or-

into a white van with no windows and the needle’s in his skin and his sister is screaming and there’s a hand over his mouth wearing black leather gloves and a man smiles at him and there are other men and zipties on his wrists and they tell him sucks to be you, gorgeous, but you couldn’t hide a face like that and then his head drops as whatever they gave him hits and Liam’s head drops onto the plastic mat that lines the van’s floor, his eyes close, and he’s gone-

Kauri lays there staring up at the spinning stars with his had pounding at the memory, but not enough to make it stop. When he’s really drunk, sometimes he can roll with the pain, let it wash through him and change nothing, mean nothing, do nothing at all.

He feels the way the earth rotates around the sun, every motion of the giant planet but it’s not big - it’s tiny, really, the Earth and all its purple mountains majesty, and Kauri is tinier, and whatever life lives in his head, somewhere underneath the layers of pain and fear, never mattered at all.

“‘m fine,” He slurs, trying to focus on one single star. Just one.

Please, just one star. 

“No, you’re not,” The woman says with a soft sigh. She glances back at the bus driver. “I’ll figure something out, Virginia,” She says, and waves one hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“G’night, Sadie,” The bus driver calls out over the low rumble of the big engines, then adds, “Get home safe, Kauri.”

Kauri closes his eyes. Why does everyone always want there to be a home?

“Where’m I taking you, then, Mr. Whiskey Breath?”

“T-Tequila,” Kauri corrects her, then gives a pale shadow of his effortless, airy smile. She takes him by the arm and pulls him to his feet and he overcorrects as he stumbles again, smacking into her side. She stays standing, if only just, and holds him more firmly. “’S... tequila. Good, good stuff, too, good...” His head drops against her shoulder, and he giggles again.

“Oh, honey,” She murmurs. They stand for a second while she thinks this through, and Kauri sees himself through her eyes - gorgeous and hammered, barely able to stand on his own, a piece of shit who can’t take care of himself or won’t or chooses not to, anyway. 

He tries to feel something, like maybe shame, but nothing happens.

He’s too numb for that.

“D’you have a phone?” Sadie asks after a pause. 

“Mmmmnyes,” Kauri responds, suddenly aware he hasn’t lifted his head off her shoulder yet. “I do have a phone. ‘s a very nice phone, too.”

“No doubt. Is there anyone we can call for you? I don’t-... I don’t think you’ll make it far on your own, um, Kauri? Did you say your name is Kauri?”

Kauri tilts his head back to look at her, and the world suddenly crashes hard to one side. His knees buckle and she quickly throws an arm around his waist to keep him up. He starts giggling again, shaking his head, mumbling what he hopes are apologies until he manages to locate his cell phone and pull it out of his back pocket. “M’name’s whatever you want it to be,” He says with his most charming, beautiful smile.

Sadie quirks an eyebrow as Kauri struggles to unlock his phone, then takes it once he manages, tapping over to his contacts list and scrolling. “Who do I call?” She asks, looking at the photos Kauri uses to identify everyone instead of names. “Who can I call to come get you?”

A wash of sadness so strong it feels like being hit by a wave made from bricks hits him and tears prick at his eyes, burning hot behind his eyelids. He feels a sudden wild urge to say Owen Grant, call Owen Grant, just take me back where I belong, this is too hard and I don’t want to do it anymore, being a person is just too hard but fights it off and instead, shaky and uncertain, he offers, “Th’ photo of th’ guy in th’ blue, blue shirt. That’s... thassss... Jake.”

“And he’ll come get you?” Sadie’s thumb hovers over the image, a picture Jake took of himself and sent to Kauri once, smiling over his iced coffee studying at school. “This guy will come get you, this Jake?”

Kauri whispers, “I hope so.”

Sadie looks at him, tilting her head. “Did you guys have a fight or something? Is that why you’re out here like blackout drunk?”

“No,” Kauri mumbles. “Fight... I fight with m’self.”

Sadie gives a soft sigh and a nod. “Well, I’ve been there done that. Okay.” She taps the photo of Jake, gives a low whistle and mumbles a soft damn, that guy’s hot, I see why you’re out here being schmoopy about him, and before Kauri can correct her that it doesn’t work that way, she’s got the phone up to her ear and Kauri can hear it softly ringing.

Jake must pick up because the ringing stops and Sadie says, “No, this isn’t-... I’m Sadie Williams, I’m on his phone. We’re at the bus stop on Penntuck Drive, do you know where-... oh, okay. Yeah, I live a couple blocks from here and this, uh, Kauri is way too drunk to go anywhere.”

“Am not,” Kauri protests, and his stomach suddenly flips and he swallows, eyes slightly widening. Oh no.

Sadie sighs and says wryly, “Trust me. Too drunk to get home on his own. Can you-... oh, okay. Cool. We’ll be here.” She hangs up the phone. “Okay, your buddy’s coming to get you. Let’s just sit on the bench in the bus stop, all right?”

Kauri nods, not trusting himself to speak, and lets Sadie maneuver him, fighting ripples of nausea that follow every movement, to sit down on the cold metal bench inside the shelter at the bus stop. As soon as she lets go, Kauri flops onto his side on the bench, letting the metal chill the sudden heat he feels, the sweat breaking out all over his body. 

“There we go. Just stay here for a while.” Sadie pats him on the shoulder and he wishes she would pet his head, suddenly, tell him he’s a good boy, good pet, and he turns his face to the bench to hide the tears that finally escape and drip down to pool there. Sadie stands and leans against the side of the shelter, scrolling through her own phone. Kauri twists to look at her and, after his dazed vision stops spinning and settles enough to focus, he thinks... she’s tired.

She’s tired, because it’s two o’clock in the fucking morning, and she probably just got off of work and rode the bus home in her scrubs still under her coat, and watched a drunk boy fall laughing into a bush, and decided to stay with him and make sure he didn’t get found there in the morning by a cop or the bus driver who does the early morning shift, Andrew something, and... 

“‘m okay,” Kauri says, and she doesn’t look up, but one eyebrow slowly quirks upward. “You could... go home. He’s comin’. I’m okay.”

“Oh, you are the exact opposite of that,” She says without looking at him. “Whatever’s got you fucking yourself up, I’m not gonna be the one who walks away from you. I’ve seen too many people like you wind up in the ER.” 

Is it his imagination, or do her eyes briefly drop to the thick leather bracelet Kauri always wears around his left wrist to cover up his barcode?

“You don’t know me,” He protests.

“I know enough,” She says, flatly, and he stops trying to argue. He knows that voice - Nat uses that voice when she’s getting you to do things, a voice that brooks no appeal. Kauri calls it her mom-voice, even though she doesn’t have kids and never will. It makes him think of TV moms, and maybe of his own, who must have existed, and is maybe still missing her dead son, whoever the fuck he was.

Kauri winces at the headache that pings around his skull and curls up on the bench on his left side. There’s silence, for a while, and then the sound of a car engine coming closer, the bright flash of headlights against Kauri’s closed eyes.

Jake’s new beat-up four-door - well, new to him, but it’s a Subaru that has seen better decades, not just better days - pulls up alongside the curb, idling as he opens the door and unfolds himself. Sadie, Kauri sees from the bench, tenses slightly at the sight of him, and Kauri wonders if she’s got her phone ready to dial for help.

He wouldn’t blame her - if you don’t know Jake and just see all that height and muscle alone with you in the middle of the night, you could see the threat, in that. If you didn’t know that Jake’s the guy who beats up your attacker, not the attacker himself.

Jake seems well aware of her tension and puts up both hands. “I’m Jake. You’re Sadie? You called for Kauri?”

Some of Sadie’s tension dissipates. “That’s me. Mind if I get a little distance while you pick him up?”

“Yeah, no problem. Go ahead.” Jake waits for Sadie to step away, and Kauri watches her hand move to her purse. He never thinks about stuff like that - she probably has pepper spray or a gun in there, and here is Kauri blackout drunk half-passed out on a bus bench, here is Kauri who passes out on park benches and underneath that big black box that doesn’t do anything over by downtown, Kauri who sleeps in alleys and grassy lawns and anywhere he thinks he’ll get a couple hours, here and there.

She’s careful - and Kauri is lucky.

“So fuckin’ lucky,” Kauri mumbles, then coughs out a bitter laugh, and Jake sighs as he moves over to him, sliding big arms gently between Kauri’s body and the bench. The world spins again as Jake picks him up and Kauri’s arms go around his neck, suddenly terrified he’ll fall and not hit the ground but fall up, up and up and up, and end up somewhere high above the clouds.

“D-don’t, don’-... let me-”

“I got you, Kaur,” Jake says, and his voice is low and it rumbles against Kauri in his chest and he relaxes, a little, but his hands tighten behind Jake’s neck. “Thanks for waiting with him,” He says to Sadie, moving Kauri to the passenger side of the car and leaning over to help him slide him in. Kauri flops to one side, eyes sliding closed.

“No problem. I’m going to head home. Take care of him.”

Jake gives a huff of laughter as he closes the door for Kauri. “I always do,” Kauri hears him say, a little muffled. There’s a pause and then Jake sits back down in the driver’s seat, leaning across to buckle Kauri’s seat belt for him as he half-sits, half-lays limp against the seat. 

“We’re going to get you home and you’re gonna drink some water,” Jake says firmly, slipping a hand behind Kauri’s head to help him reorient himself. Kauri shivers at the simple pleasure of the affectionate touch, eyes sliding closed, and turns his head, just barely pressing a kiss to Jake’s wrist.

Jake doesn’t pull away - Kauri will lose his balance if he does - but he goes still. “Hey. No, Kauri. The answer is still no.”

Kauri sniffs, nuzzles at his arm, and then pulls away, turning away from Jake to clumsily curl up against the car’s door, as far as he can get. “I know. But-... I just-...”

“I know. But we can’t, ever, not like this.”

Kauri tries to feel something other than the spin of the earth, his stomach flipping at the motion of the car as Jake slowly pulls his hand back and drives down the dark street, every house silent, everywhere around them still and quiet.

Jake’s speakers play music, softly, a man’s voice singing, well, let that lonely feeling wash away - maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay over the press of piano keys and hint of strings. 

"What is this?” Kauri asks, tries to point, fails.

“Um, Chris’s shit,” Jake says, but he doesn’t change the song. “I drove him to get some hair dye today, he must have put his playlist on. Musical shit.”

And oh, someone will come running and I know they’ll take you home

“When can it?” Kauri asks, softly. “When can it happen?”

“What?”

“Us. When can us happen, Jake?”

Even when the dark comes crashing through, when you need a friend to carry you and when you're broken on the ground, you will be found

“I hate this song,” Kauri mutters.

Jake doesn’t look at him as he signals a turn - Kauri fights a laugh at the sight of Jake, totally and utterly alone on the road in the earliest hours of the morning, fucking putting on his turn signal a careful distance back from the intersection - and takes a right.

“Jake-... I want you,” Kauri says, the last vestiges of tequila pressing the words onto his tongue, rolling them off and out into the soft air between them. “When can I stop wanting and-”

“Kauri.” Jake’s voice goes softer, not harder. It’s not chiding him, it’s not angry, but laced with something very different. 

He wants me, too, I know he does, I know it.

“Jake, I-”

“It can’t ever happen,” Jake says in that same soft voice, lost in something that some dim part of Kauri recognizes as an echo of his own feelings, “until it’s not like this.”

Jake reaches down to grab his phone, hits a button, and the song changes. Kauri fights back a laugh when he realizes it’s just a different song from the same fucking musical.

“Fucking Chris,” Kauri says, trapped between laughter and tears. 

Jake’s hand moves to rest on the console between the seats, and after a second, Kauri’s hand remembers how to listen to his brain and he lays his cold, thin, long fingers over Jake’s larger, warmer ones.

Jake doesn’t pull away from him.

By the time they get back to Nat’s house, their fingers have wrapped around each other, and Kauri feels a little warmer than he felt before. 

When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around, all you want is for somebody to find you

“Next time, can it be your music playing?” Kauri asks, voice a little huskier and rougher than he means it to be. All the numbness that came with the drinking is gone, and Kauri hurts, inside himself, in a way he’s almost grateful for.

When you’re falling in a forest and when you hit the ground, all you need is for somebody to find you

“Uh, um, yeah,” Jake manages, and his voice is rough, too.

No one deserves to be forgotten, no one deserves to fade away

“I can get better, Jake,” Kauri says, voice low. “I can. But I’m never-... I’m never gonna be whoever was me before.”

No one deserves to disappear

“I know,” Jake says. “That isn’t who I care about, anyway, Kaur... I care about you.”

No one deserves to disappear

They sit in the driveway until the song ends. And through the next song, and the next. The streetlights shine down and the dark is otherwise total and the world slowly steadies in its constant spin around the sun. Kauri lets his head slowly lean back against the headrest.

“I’m-... so fucking lucky you found me,” Kauri whispers. Jake’s fingers twitch in his, and his eyes are locked on Nat’s front door, up on the porch. 

“No,” Jake says, softly. “We’re-... I’m lucky you found us.”

Neither of them wants to be the first to let go of the other one’s hand.

---

@maybeawhumpblog, @pepperonyscience, @haro-whumps, @18-toe-beans, @burtlederp, @finder-of-rings, @giggly-evil-puppy, @whimpers-and-whumpers, @moose-teeth, @whump-it, @lumpofwhump, @pumpkinthefangirl, @slaintetowhump, @astrobly @whumpiary @whump-tr0pes  @raigash @cubeswhump

[baddadjokez]

514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.​I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.​Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.​Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!​I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.​What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.​How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.​I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.​Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.​I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.​My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.​Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.​How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.​What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.​Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.​There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.​What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.​What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.​Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.​Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.​How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.​The shovel was a ground breaking invention.​A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."​A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."​Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.​What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.​I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.​What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.​I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.​Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.​Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"​Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.​What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.​Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.​What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.​What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.​What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.​A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.​After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.​I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.​To write with a broken pencil is pointless.​I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.​I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.​What should you do if you are cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.​How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.​The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.​What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.​What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.​The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.​Sausage puns are the wurst.​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.​Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.​What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.​Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.​What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.​Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.​Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.​What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.​What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.​What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.​Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.​What kind of car does a sheep drive? Their SuBAHHru.​What do you call a french pig? Porque.​What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hairline.​Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak.​How do trees access the internet? They log on.​Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.​Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it.​The future,the present and the past walked into a bar.Things got a little tense.​I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.​I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.​I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.​Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.​I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.​Read enough of our funny puns, and you'll be punstoppable.​Yesterday a clown held the door for me. It was a nice jester.​I used to go fishing with Skrillex but he kept dropping the bass.​The wedding was so emotional even the cake was in tiers.​What does a house wear? A dress.​Why can't bicycles stand up on their own? Since they are 2 tired.​I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.​Imagine if alarm clocks hit you back in the morning.It would be truly alarming.​Why is a skeleton a bad liar? You can see right through it.​What do you receive when you ask a lemon for help? Lemonaid.​A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.​What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!​What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.​At my boxing club there is only one punch bag. I hate waiting for the punch line!​An untalented gymast walks into a bar.​Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.​I was accused of being a plagiarist, their word not mine.​My friends say they don’t like skeleton puns. I should put more backbone into them.​Let me FILL you in on my trip to the dentist.​Why does the singer of Cheap Thrills not want us to Sia?​Traveling on a flying carpet is a rugged experience.​Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.​The old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner,there were strings attached.​Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.​My new diet consists of aircraft, its a bit plane.​Have you ever tried to milk a cow which has been cut in half? Udder madness.​Why are there fences on graveyards? Because people are dying to get in.​Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.​Models of dragons are not to scale.​Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.​Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.​Don’t trust people that do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.​A persistent banker wouldn’t stop hitting on me so I asked him to leave me a loan.​I ordered a book of puns last week, but i didn't get it.​People say i look better without glasses but i just can't see it.​Don’t judge a meal by the look of the first course. It’s very souperficial.​I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.​I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.​What do you call a young musician? A minor.​Police were called to a daycare yesterday, where a 2-year-old was resisting a rest.​If artists wear sketchers do linguists wear converse?​I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.​Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.​I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once. It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.​I flipped a coin over an issue the other day, it was quite the toss-up.​I got hit in the head with a can of soda? Luckily it was a soft drink.​I heard that the post office was a male dominated industry.​Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze.​What do you mean June is over? Julying.​Why is Kylo Ren so angry? Beause he’s always Ben Solo.​These reversing cameras are great. Since I got one I haven’t looked back.​The candle quit his job because he felt burned out.​Our maintenance guy lost his legs on the job, now he’s just a handyman.​Going to bed with music on gave him sound sleep.​A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!​I met some aliens from outer space. They were pretty down to earth.​The plane flight brought my acrophobia to new heights.​My phone has to wear glasses ever since it lost its contacts.​I, for one, like Roman numerals.​How do mountains see? They peak.​The show was called Spongebob Squarepants but everyone knows the star was Patrick.​This is not alcohol, water you thinking?!​Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.​I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.​The earth's rotation really makes my day.​If I buy a bigger bed will I have more or less bedroom?​Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.​Two ropes were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-frayed.​What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.​I got a master’s degree in being ignored; no one seems to care.​After eating the ship, the sea monster said, I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.​Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.​A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.​I had a pun about insanity but then I lost it.​He couldn’t work out how to fix the washing machine so he threw in the towel.​Why does the man want to buy nine rackets? Cause tennis too many.​Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.​If I got paid in lots of Pennes I would make loads of pasta.​I thought I saw a spider on my laptop, but my friend said it was just a bug.​A doctor broke his leg while auditioning for a play.Luckily he still made the cast.​The tale of the haunted refrigerator was chilling.​Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.​If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?​I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.​Simba, you're falling behind. I must ask you to Mufasa.​I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.​The bomb didn't want to go off. So it refused.​The sore mummy needed a Cairo-practor​I feel sorry for shopping carts. They’re always getting pushed around.​The display of still-life art was not at all moving!​On Halloween October is nearly Octover.​Pig puns are so boaring.​Why couldn’t the dead car drive into the cluttered garage? Lack of vroom.​What do you call Samsung's security guards? Guardians of the Galaxy.​What does Superman have in his drink? Just ice.​How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.​Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.​The safe was invented by a cop and a robber. It was quite a combination.​What do you do when balloons are hurt? You helium.​One hat says to the other, "You stay here, I’ll go on a head."​How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.​When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.​When the scientist wanted to clone a deer, he bought a doe it yourself kit.​If people ask how many puns I made in Germany I reply, "nein"​Did you hear about the invention of the white board? It was remarkable.​If Donald Trump becomes president, America is going toupee.​Can February March? No, but April May.​I hate Russian Dolls, they are so full of themselves.​What do you do to an open wardrobe? You closet.​The magazine about ceiling fans went out of business due to low circulation.​So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!​Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos.​A backwards poem writes inverse.​Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.​I asked my friend, Nick, if he had 5 cents I could borrow. But he was Nicholas.​The soundtrack for Blackfish was orcastrated.​Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.​There’s a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.​I used to work at a hairdresser but i just wasn’t cut out for it.​Why is metal and a microwave a match made in heaven? When they met, sparks flew.​The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in.​Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!​When the church relocated it had an organ transplant.​Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.​The scarecrow get promoted because he was outstanding in his field.​Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.​I never understood odorless chemicals, they never make scents.​What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.​Why was dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.​When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.​Old skiers never die. They just go down hill.​Did you hear about the pun that was actually funny? Neither have we.​You know why I like egg puns? They crack me up!​Want to hear a pun about ghosts? That's the spirit!​I used to make clown shoes… which was no small feat.​Did you hear about the human cannonball? Too bad he got fired!​What happened when the magician got mad? She pulled her hare out!​Did you hear about the circus that caught on fire? It was in tents.​The one day of the week that eggs are definitely afraid of is Fry-day.​A hen will always leave her house through the proper eggs-it.​The man who ate too many eggs was considered to be an egg-oholic.​All the hens consider the chef to be very mean because he beats the eggs.​Eskimos keep all of their chilled eggs inside of the egg-loo.​Under the doctor’s advice, the hen is laying off eggs for a few weeks.​I had a real problem making a hard-boiled egg this morning until I cracked it.​The best time of day to eat eggs is at the crack of dawn.​The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.​Crossing a cement mixer and a chicken will result in you getting a brick layer.​That reckless little egg always seems to egg-celerate when he sees the light turn yellow.​Hopefully this egg pun doesn't make your brain too fried or scrambled.​Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together. It's hard for them to stay in sink.​People using umbrellas always seem to be under the weather.​I dissected an iris today. It was an eye-opening experience.​What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.​What planet is like a circus? Saturn, it has three rings!​Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker. I used to look up to him.​Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal!​I really look up to my tall friends.​I hate negative numbers and will stop at nothing to avoid them.​Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.​It takes guts to make a sausage.​Why shouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll “Let It Go”!​What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!​How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it​What do you get when a witch goes to the beach? A sand-witch!​Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the mooooo-vies!​What did the mommy tomato say to the baby tomato? C’mon, ketchup!​Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn’t “peeling” well!​What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?​Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with!​What is a pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrrrr!​What does a piece of toast wear to bed? His pa-JAM-as!​What does one eye say to the other eye? Something between us smells​Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!​What happens when an egg laughs? It cracks up!​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!​Why didn’t the teddy bear want dessert? Because he was stuffed!​Why can’t you tell a joke while ice skating? Because the ice might crack up!​What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!​What’s mommy and daddy’s favorite ride at the carnival? A married-go-round!​How did Cookie Monster feel after eating all the cookies? Pretty crummy!​What do you call a skunk who flies in a helicopter? A smelly-copter!​What do you get when you shake a cow? A milkshake!​How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut!​Why did the bee get married? Because she found her honey!​What did the ocean say to their airplane? Nothing, it just waved!​Where do eskimo pigs live? In pig-loos.​What’s a dinosaur called when it’s sleeping? A dino-snore!​What did the cookie say to the annoying cookie? Crumb on!​Why did Mickey Mouse go up in space? To find Pluto!​What does Olaf eat for lunch? Icebergers!​What letter is always wet? The C!​How do you throw a space party? You planet.​How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.​Nope. Unintended.​The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.​A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."​A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."​Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.​What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.​The broom swept the nation away.​I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.​What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds.​What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.​I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.​Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.​Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”​Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in france? There was nothing but des brie.​Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.​What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.​Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.​What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.​What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.​What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.​A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.​After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.​I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.​To write with a broken pencil is pointless.​I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.​I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.​What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison.​What should you do if you’re cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.​How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.​The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.​What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.​What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.​The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.​Sausage puns are the wurst.​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.​How did Darth Vader know what luke was getting him for his birthday? He could sense his presence.​Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.​What’s the difference between a bench, a fish, and a bucket of glue? You can’t tune a bench but you can tuna fish. I bet you got stuck on the bucket of glue part.​What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.​Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.​What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.​What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.​Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.​Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.​Why did the man dig a hole in his neighbor’s backyard and fill it with water? Because he meant well.​What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.​What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.​What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.​Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.​What kind of car does a sheep drive? A lamborghini, but if that breaks down they drive their SuBAHHru.

[bruhsona]

Differential Repair

The differentials on your vehicle are crucial to daily driving. Your differential allows for your wheels to rotate at different speeds. This is necessary as when you make a turn, none of your four tires follow the same path. They all have a different radius of curvature. This forces them to travel at varying speeds while turning.

Imagine a track like one that might be found at a high school. Now envision a huge track like one used for Nascar. If you wanted to do a lap in both of these tracks in the same amount of time, you would need to go much faster in the larger track than in the smaller one. This is exactly what your tires experience with all turns, whether they be very slight or large, sharp turns.

Your drivetrain is also responsible for taking the power delivered from the transmission and transferring it to the wheels. This transfer requires a 90-degree angle change. Your differential is what makes this smooth power transfer possible.

If this doesn’t make much sense, here is a useful visual created by Toyota. This will explain how a differential works and also some of the common types of differentials.

Differential Service

To ensure that your differential continues to do its job, make sure that it has proper lubrication. Your differential has many gears which are constantly in mesh. The fluid in your differential makes sure that these parts remain well lubricated. This prevents the gears from clashing and damaging each other. This fluid is also responsible for transferring the heat away from the gears.

Over time this fluid will start to break down. Many of the additives inside begin to disappear and ideal lubrication is compromised. This fluid may also start to fill up with contaminants. These can cause damage to internal components as the gears rub against them.

This fluid must be changed at regular intervals to ensure that your differential is always in excellent condition. Check your owners’ manual as to how often this should be performed. It is generally recommended that this is done every 25,000-30,000 miles.

Changing the oil in your differential is as simple as changing your engine oil. On both differentials, there is a drain plug. Once you have removed this, the oil will begin to drain. Once it has completely drained, you can put the drain plug back in. There is then a fill hole bolt that must be removed. Once that is out, you can pour in the appropriate amount of differential fluid. It’s that easy!

If you don’t feel like doing this yourself, you can always take your car into a shop. To have the differential fluid changed can cost you from $75-140 for each differential. Many people prefer to have shops do this job as differential fluid smells terrible. It contains Sulphur which can have a sort of rotten-egg smell to it. This fluid will get on your hands and can get on your clothes as well.

Differential Fluid Check

Checking your differential fluid should be done on a regular basis. Checking your fluid is very simple. All you need to do is remove the fill hole bolt. Then stick your finger into the hole. The fluid should be at the bottom of the hole or just below that. If you can’t feel any fluid with your finger, then something is wrong. Add more fluid immediately.

Axle Seal Leaks

Your differential can develop leaks from time to time. These leaks generally occur at the axle seals. As your axle seal leaks, you will begin to have insufficient differential fluid inside the differential. This can result in gear grinding. The fluid also can often get into the brake assembly inside of your drums. If this is the case, your brake shoes should be replaced. The oil will not simply be cleaned off.

This changes usually are not too difficult to change out. With a basic car knowledge, you are plenty qualified and skilled to do this job.

Differential Noise Diagnosis

When your differential begins to have problems, there will usually be very obvious sounds. Listen to your differential and it will speak to you. It will tell you that it is hurting and needs some attention. Below are a few of common sounds that can come from your differential and their causes.

Constant Noises- Oftentimes if a noise is very constant, it is either a bearing or a damaged gear tooth. There are several bearings which could be the cause of this problem. It could be located on the drive pinion, the carrier, or an outer axle bearing. If you have a constant noise, these are great things to check. It could also be a damaged gear tooth on the ring gar or pinion gear. In order to check these, you will have to remove the differential cover.

Noise During a Turn- If you experience a noise only while turning, there are a couple of possible causes. This could be the spider gears, the LSD, or the viscous coupler if you are driving an AWD vehicle. Inspect these things and the fluids to see if they are the issue.

Noise During Acceleration- If you hear a nice only while you are accelerating, this is generally a bad U-joint.

Vibration- If you feel a vibration while driving, this is usually excessive back lash between gears. This can also be caused by bad drive-line angles or even a bent drive-line.

Fix Your Differential

Once you have found the reason why your differential is making a strange noise, it becomes time to fix it. This could be replacing a bearing, seal, or having new gears installed. Whatever you might need to do, working on your differential is never too complicated. These systems are not that complicated and can be worked on by most at-home mechanics.

By taking proper care of your differential, you will avoid costly repairs down the road. Insure that you always use the proper fluid and that you have the right amount at all times.

Our sponsor for this article is:

A-1 Auto Tech, Inc. 89 Pioneer Way, Mountain View, CA 94041 650-487-2240 mountainviewautorepairs.com

[jimclassicstoycollection]

Transformers Masterpiece

MP-10

Optimus Prime

Dating all the way back to 2003 when 20th Anniversary Masterpiece Optimus Prime (MP01) debuted and he was glorious. For the first time since my childhood the original Optimus was back, and modernized for the 21st century.

I was so happy to have him; not only was it large and in charge, with dicast metal, light up Matrix of Leadership, moving mouthplate, Energon axe, etc, etc, etc, BUT as a bonus this Optimus Prime kind of, almost scaled in with my Beast Wars figures; the Predacons were in for it now!!

Moving forward to 2011 Masterpiece Optimus Prime was imagined after Takara began scaling down the MP's, and thus MP10 was born. I resisted getting this Optimus for a very long time...6 years about...

But I eventually pulled the trigger in the Summer of 2017...and it’s now March of 2018, and I’m just giving this guy a first look...that is awful.

Let’s get started.

The Box:

I don’t normally talk about the box but this is a Masterpiece set, so I think I should.

Graphic design wise it’s good; it catches your attention pretty easily, with its primary colors being black and red, with some white highlight. It’s simple, but effective.

It’s a Toys R Us exclusive (got the stamp on there) ((R.I.P. Toys R Us))

It has a nice product shot of Optimus Prime in both robot mode and truck mode. It has the Generations logo, and some kanji, and it’s all about design which really pops.

Okay, ‘nuff said about the box. Let’s open this guy up!!

Prime was well packaged along with all of his goodies. We have Optimus Prime, trailer, Roller drone, ion blaster, Energon axe, and a mini Spike Witwicky figure; it is truly a deluxe package!

Truck Mode:

Well for starters it’s a great representation of the G1 vehicle mode! He’s a large red, can over engine truck, with silver detailing, hauling a gray trailer. It looks great. It’s well detailed, it has rubber tires; this is a great truck mode.

One accessory which can used in the mode would be the tiny Spike figure which comes with the toy can sit in the cab, via opening the windshield, and he can sit in either the driver’s, or passengers side. TBH Spike is just way too small of a figure that IMO it looks bad, so I just don’t use it.

The trailer doors open up, and a ramp can be pulled to allow the loading, or unloading of stuff, or to store another MP car within it. Roller can be stored in the trailer as well.

Roller: Just as a side Roller is a personality component of Optimus Prime. It’s a six-wheeled drone (which can hold Spike in of of the seats, and has a little light towards the back.

The rear of Roller can open up and flip 180 degrees and here we have some new play options. Now you can mount Optimus’ rifle to Roller so Roller can engage in combat.

Remove the rifle and you see a tiny trailer hitch and Rollr can haul Optimus’ trailer, thoooooough it’s not the best. Roller doesn’t bare the load very well, and it’s liable to slip out from underneath.

Transformation:

Transformation is marginally different from original generation one Optimus Prime, and even MP-01 Optimus Prime; it’s similar to both, but also different.

The transformation for the trailer to battle platform, it almost identical.

Robot Mode:

Wowsers! Why did it take me 6 years to buy this guy? It’s really good.

MP-10 Optimus Prime is essentially a high quality leader class figure; he fits in perfectly with just about any retail leader class Transformer.

He has universal head movement, universal shoulders, bicep swivel, elbows, rotating wrists, articulated pointer finger, the other three digits are articulated together, waist swivel, universal hips, thigh swivel, knee bend, and ankle tilt.

Accessories are Optimus Prime’s ion rifle, Energon axe, and Autobot Matrix of Leadership.

Ion rifle: It’s pretty clever. Optimus holds it well, and it looks like what it’s supposed to for the most part, but the really neat thing is that the gun can fold up, AND can store in a compartment in Prime’s back. Nifty. The gun can also unfold by way of a spring loaded button.

The Energon Axe: It’s made out of clear, orange plastic and cam simple be placed over Prime’s right hand. It fits snugly there, and it looks good, aside from Optimus’ thumb kind of sticking out, but nothing’s perfect.

Matrix: Unlike MP-01 which had a light up function MP-10′s does not. However this version of the Matrix is made up of dicast metal, and it’s really cool!

Spike Witwicky: It sucks. It’s just a teeny, tiny mini figure. For something so small it’s got a lot of articulation, but it’s just way too small, and it sucks.

Trailer/battle platform: As I said early Optimus Prime’s trailer can open to to reveal a battle station. It’s got all sorts of molded detail, pipes, computers (for Spike to sit in), it’s got the repair drone/ gun turret. You can even store Prime’s energon axe, ion rifle, and roller inside the trailer.

Final Thoughts:

Okay, wrapping up. This review has both been long, and I’ve been trying to keep it short at the same time.

MP-10 is a brilliant figure. I begrudgingly admit this new scale for Masterpeices is good. He fits in well with Rodimus Prime, Grimlock, Soundwave, etc, though not as well with my Beast Wars figures anymore. Only some of my Beast Wars figures now; a select few which look more scaled down.

Anyway MP-10 Optimus Prime is near perfect; highly recommended.

[amethystunarmed]

Campbell’s Right Hand Man

For @kittythelitter

Jasper is helpless, Max knows David will never be satisfied, and David has to go.

Gwen is sick of people being stupid.

~~~~~~

Inspired by two animatic's and my friend's love of Jasper.

In this AU, David chose Mr. Campbell during Parent's Day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2vvX433H4g https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqbUD9jeqBI

~~~~~

“Davey... We need to talk, man.” Jasper was standing in the doorway, letting the wooden frame support his weight. He was wearing a long green t-shirt (one of David’s, the man was built like a beanpole) that nearly covered his neon boxers. David smiled at the sight.

“Good evening, Jasper!” he beamed, moving from his suitcases to wrap his arms around the other man. “Sorry I’ve been so busy with packing, I’m almost done.” Jasper looked around their bedroom, their bedroom which was now half-empty, devoid of all things related to camping and nature. He looked at the corner which usually held the tent that he always tripped on when getting ready for bed, that he always told David to move, to put in the garage, but was always returned to the corner when their family camping trips ended. It was empty, and Jasper felt tears spring to eyes.

“Davey...” He saw his fiancee‘s face change, trademark smile slipping from his face.

“I told you, I have to leave. Mr. Campbell wants me to be his right-hand man.”

“But Thailand, Davey? It’s so far, and for so long. Camp just ended, I thought, maybe...” Jasper pulled himself out of the hold, before he got too comfortable in it, before he forgot what he was saying. “...I thought this would be enough for you.” He turned away, not wanting to see his expression. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what it held. “I thought we were enough for you.”

“Jasper, you and Max are all I ever wanted!” He could hear David taking steps behind him. “But look how good this opportunity is, at how lucky we are right now!”

“How lucky we are?” Jasper whirled to face him, unable to believe the look of pure joy on David’s face. He was sure only astonishment was visible on his own.

The expression didn’t seem to bother David at all. “Well, of course! Think of all the good I can do for Camp Campbell!”

“Are you trippin’, Davey? This is fucking whack!” He was gonna cry now, he was sure of it. His lip trembled, his eyes scrunched shut... He just felt so helpless.

“Jasper...”

“I’m gonna go make hot chocolate,” he interrupted, heading back into the hallway. “Do you want any? I know you need to finish packing, after all.” There was a pause and he swore David was going to stop him, tell him this whole thing was nuts, and he wasn’t going anywhere. Instead, there was only a hum of assent before returning to rummage around in his suitcases. So Jasper shut the door behind him, though not nearly as loud as he wanted to.

“I tried to warn you.” Jasper jumped at the voice, turning and wiping his eyes on his shoulder as quickly as he could. Max was standing behind him, near the bathroom. He was still wearing his hoodie, and Jasper could spot Mr. Honeynuts tucked into its grandiose pocket.

“Hey, little man,” he stuttered, trying to stop his voice from cracking, “what are you doing up-”

“Cut the shit, Jasper, I heard everything. You don’t need to pretend, dumbass.” Max was insulting him (what else was new) but his digs lacked their usual vinegar. Before Jasper could contemplate on this, the kid was speaking again. “He will never be satisfied.” Jasper’s brain jumped back to the last time he had heard that statement. It had been the first time David had officially invited Jasper over. The first time he officially met Max not a camper he was in charge of, but as David’s son.

“He’ll get bored of you, you know. He’ll get bored, and he’ll leave you, and it’ll just be the two of us again. He will never be satisfied with you.”

Jasper had written it off at the time as Max being jealous, not used to sharing David’s attention, but now...

“He will never be satisfied with us,” Max continued, crossing his arms over his chest. He stared at the floor, so that his face was shadowed in the dark. “And nothing will change that. Not tears, not a ring, not adoption papers, none of it.” Jasper’s fingers couldn’t help but jump to the gold band on his finger. It suddenly felt much heavier. “He will do whatever it t-takes to appease Cameron f-f-fucking Campbell, and nothing, nothing, we do can... c-can...” Jasper realized Max was sobbing, and did the first thing that came to his head. He walked over, bent down, and took Max into a hug. For the first time in their knowing each other, Max didn’t pushing him away.

David wasn’t really sure why Gwen insisted on being there. Sure, it was nice of her to say good-bye, but they could have met up at a coffee shop or something the day before. But no, she muttered something about idiots and told him she’d be driving the three of them to the airport. He appreciated the gesture though. He thought that it meant he would be able to talk to Jasper and Max during the long car ride, and was excited at the prospect.

That didn’t happen though. Most of the ride was Gwen’s favorite pop station playing quietly while they otherwise sat in silence. He tried initiating a conversation a few times, but the one word answers eventually deterred him.

Perhaps they were tired. Jasper hadn’t returned to bed until after David had already fallen asleep, and hadn’t woken up when David slipped free of his arms to go make breakfast. And Max was curled up next to Jasper in the backseat, and, despite the scowl on his face, was resting his head on Jasper’s torso. The two of them gave David an urge to grin and grab his phone. It was nice to see them finally getting along.

Or maybe they were as excited as he was. Three months in Thailand, camping in the woods and learning about new branches of camp of Camp Campbell? He couldn’t imagine anything better! Think of how wonderful espionage and guerilla warfare camp would be! And if this went well, Mr. Campbell said that maybe one day, he would become the co-owner of Camp Campbell. He couldn’t think of anything more wonderful.

Eventually, they pulled up to the air strip. David wasn’t really sure why they had to take off from a dirt runway in the middle of the forest, but he certainly liked the look of the place. Mr. Campbell had even taken the time to cover the plane in pine branches so it blended right in with the landscape. Talk about respecting the beauty of nature!

“Ah, there you are Davey!” The man exclaimed upon seeing him, “Come give me a hand with this. Jacob and Grace can help too.” Once the four of the them had moved all the branches off the biplane, and moved all David’s luggage into the cargo pit, it was time. “Say your good-byes Davey. I’ll get the plane started up,” Mr. Campbell assured him, “But don’t take to long. The woods have ears...” His eyes darted along the treeline, but David wasn’t worried.

Gwen came up to him first, crushing him in a hug, slapping his back harder than was most likely necessary. “Stay safe, okay?” she whispered, voice more delicate than he had ever heard it.

“Of course, Gwen! I’m with Mr. Campbell!” He responded, trying to reassure her. How could he be any safer! He heard her mutter something, maybe “That’s what I’m afraid of” and she stepped back.

Max was next. He knelt, meeting Max’s eye level. The boy came up to him tentatively, looking at the ground. “You’re the worst and I hate you, but I don’t want to be stuck with Jasper’s shitty 90’s music forever, so you better come back really fucking quickly, okay?”

“Okay, I will,” he promised, “I love you too, Max.” He was engulfed in one of Max’s one-second hugs, before his son ran back to stand behind Gwen. Which only left the good-bye he was least looking forward to.

Jasper walked up to him slowly, sad smile that had become all too familiar plastered on his face. He knew Jasper was upset with him, he wasn’t stupid. But he also knew he needed to do this. This was his shot, to do everything he ever wanted to do. Still, he wasn’t sure Jasper was even going to say good-bye.

His worries were quickly found lacking.

Jasper suddenly sprinted at him, wrapping his arms around David like he was going to be dragged away at any moment. “I’m gonna miss you so much, Davey.”

David caught him easily, hoisting him into a hug of his own. “I’m gonna miss you too, Jasper. I love you so much. But I’ll be back before either of us know it, okay? Trust me.”

Jasper smiled at him, tear-filled eyes reflecting the cloudless sky. “I always do.” And they were kissing, harder and fiercer than anything David had ever experienced. Jasper’s hands were tightly wound in his hair, to the point where David was sure it should have hurt, their faces wet, lips tasting of salt, of sadness David knew was not his own.

“Ahem.”

They snapped apart and David felt off-balance, suddenly thrown out of orbit, the sun he rotated around incredibly out of reach. But Mr. Campbell was giving him a disapproving look, so David did his best not to show it.

“Now that that’s over, ready to go Davey?” Mr. Campbell asked, tugging open the door to the cockpit. He held out his hand.

David looked back, eyes scanning what would soon be miles below him. Gwen glaring at him, standing a little bit in front of Max and Jasper... Looking at the two of them made his throat hurt. Max was holding onto to Jasper’s pants leg, facing back toward the car. His hood was up, and his shoulders were shaking minutely, the way they always did when Max was pretending he wasn’t crying. Jasper had a hand placed on his head, stroking it slowly. His fiancee had none of Max’s qualms, looking at David with tears openly streaming down his face. He gave David a little wave with his unoccupied hand, before shoving it into his pocket. David felt a tug in the core of his chest.

I shouldn’t leave.

He stood there for a moment, lost. He looked between the two constants in his life, his idol and the family he had created for himself, and made his decision.

He turned to Mr. Campbell and gave him the Camp Campbell salute.

I am not going to miss my shot.

“Ready when you are, sir!”

[spearywritesstuff]

Mix Tape Fic

I’m reblogging this old thing bc of the mix tape feels.

On Ao3 here.

The adrenaline rush of a hunt gone right still filled the air in the car. The electric charge of the moment would spark out around them for a few more miles. They sat in near silence. The only sound to punctuate the moment came from the asphalt under the tires, the low grumble of the engine, and the drum of Dean's heartbeat in his ears. Dean's fingers drummed at the steering wheel as they roared down the road. There was no music to accompany the motion, it was all just him letting the energy out.

Cas looked at him as they drove. It was a familiar moment, the two of them together like this. Soon, there would be sound, and song. Soon there would be the familiar sight of a town that they had rolled through before. As if sensing that the moment was right, Cas reached out to the stereo and switched it on. The crackle of static filled the space. He twisted the dial, coming to a country station which elicited a grimace from Dean. He kept turning the dial, coming to a talk radio station, the speaker angry at something. Cas turned the dial, more static.

Dean knew what would come next, so he reached under the seat and pulled out the box of cassette tapes, setting them on the seat between them. Cas reached out to it and pretended to consider the many options present there. He wasn't really considering anything. He already knew what tape he would choose. It was a mix tape of songs that he and Dean had made for their hunting trips.

They had sat in Dean's room on the floor shuffling through his records. Dean would pop an album on and they would listen. Each of them would get to vote on each addition, no questions asked. All of the songs on the tape had to get a unanimous vote. They didn't let Sam have a vote; this was not his tape. This was their tape. These were their songs.

Now, Dean did not have some of the songs that were on this tape in his collection. On the second night that they were making the tape, Cas brought in four more albums that he had picked up from the thrift store in downtown Lebanon. One of the albums was old school hip hop. In fact, it may have been more aptly called ancient hip hop. Dean grimaced at first when the music played, and Cas made a face that said, I let you have "Appetite for Destruction." Dean gave him a begrudging thumbs up, and Cas smiled.

The next album was chosen for a piece by a composer named Shostakovich. Cas had said that they needed something in the mix that was much more classical than AC/DC or Iron Maiden. Dean accepted it without question. The piece had an epic quality to it and it appealed to his hard rock sensibilities. They let a few more pieces play out, but in the end, only the piece by Shostakovich made the cut.

Dean lifted the next album from the pile and walked up to the record player. He changed out the album to Diana Ross. Cas had picked up the album on a whim, not knowing what it would be. He liked her hair though, so she made it into the purchase pile. Dean looked at the cover while he stood next to the player and then at Cas, then back at the cover again. "Really, Cas?"

"No. I just liked her look."

"So, that's your type?"

"She is aesthetically pleasing, but she is not my type." Dean laughed at Cas' response.

"You have a funny way of saying things sometimes, Cas."

"I know. Let's listen to the next one." Dean got up and changed the album. Cas had purchased an album by John Lennon. Dean didn't own this one. He had a bunch of songs from the Beatles, but not Lennon's solo stuff. The Beatles he had because of his mom. He didn't have the same attachment to the individual singers.

He set the record on the player and set the needle. He came back to Cas' side and they looked at the cover together, leaning toward each other as they did so. "Why'd you pick this one?"

"For the irony." Dean laughed at this response too.

"Really? Explain." Dean flipped the jacket over and read through the song titles.

"'Imagine.' I thought that it would be a good post hunt song. You know, for the irony." Cas smiled at Dean's look of confusion. "Just listen to the lyrics and vote it into the rotation." They listened to the song and Dean's lips slowly curled up into a grin.

"Okay, that one is in, no questions." And like that they had their songs all selected.

Cas pushed the tape into the deck and hit the rewind button. Sometimes they would just let it play from where they left off, but today felt different. Today felt like a day of beginnings. They took care of the simple haunting, an old fashioned salt and burn. It was nice to have a simple case for once. Dean was proud of Cas' efforts. There was one moment of panic where Cas was tossed back through a window. His injuries were minor though, a few cuts, nothing a stitch or two wouldn't fix up once they got back to the motel.

Dean remembered how different it was before, when Cas could just heal them both. He gave up his grace, became human. It still puzzled him, all these years later that Cas had sacrificed so much for humanity, for Dean. Sometimes he thought that he understood it, and other times he felt that there were things that would only make sense in the mind of the former angel. He could ask, but instead he let that question sit in his mind collecting dust.

So much had changed in the years since the Mark and the almost apocalypse. He had grown more comfortable with his life, his feelings. Yes, he kept most of his thoughts to himself. He was not quick to initiate a chat on his inner demons. However, he was comfortable in his own skin. Consequently, he was also comfortable with Sam and Cas. He had grown so comfortable, in fact, that sometimes Sam would go off for weeks on his own, and Dean would not feel the strange crawling that use to take over his insides. He use to live in a constant state of worry, as if at any moment, being alone would lead to too much self-reflection and internal judgement. There was much to feel guilty over, and Sam's presence use to keep those demons at bay. There was also the desire to keep his brother safe, and safety only seemed to be attainable when said brother was easily locatable. It only took dying a few times to achieve this new found level of freedom.

Now, he could be on his own and not fall into a slow madness. He wasn't often alone, but he had tested the theory over a few times. Cas was usually there, just a few steps down the hall. They would change their routines when Sam was gone. Sometimes they would stay up late and marathon some movies together, and if they fell asleep like that, no one else had to be the wiser. They were comfortable enough with each other that they didn't even talk about it. It was not awkward or strange. It was just comfortable waking up in each other's company. Some days Dean would wake Cas up with a quick ruffling of his hair. Others, Cas would wake Dean up with intense staring.

It was more than friendship, but Dean did not dwell on it too much. He let the thoughts warm him like a toasty cabin on a cold winter's night. His world may be filled with darkness and a past best not revisited, but he had found something here that made it bearable, more than bearable, actually good. He glanced at Cas now as he reached back to the tape deck to push the play button. The rewinding had apparently finished. Cas looked back at him and smiled.

He took the box of tapes from between them and slid them back beneath the seat and scooted closer to Dean. "Imagine" began playing. The familiar notes from the piano whirled out around them as the dark road grumbled beneath them. The world was dark, but they cut through it, the Impala's bright moonlight beams made a path to rest. They would reach the motel by the end of the song if Dean had calculated correctly. Cas began singing in his low growl of a voice.

"Imagine there's no heaven. It's easy if you try." Dean always smiled through that part for some reason, because seriously, a former angel was singing those lines.

Cas leaned into his shoulder a little to encourage him to join in. Dean sang the next line with him, "No Hell below us, above us only sky." He stopped singing along, for the next couple of lines because he liked how Cas' voice sounded as he increased his own volume.

"Imagine all the people, living for today." He looked at Dean in a way that seemed to say something. "Imagine there's no countries. It isn't hard to do."

Dean joined him again. "Nothing to kill or die for." And this was where Cas always took a different lyrical path. Dean sang the new words with him.

"Already done enough of that for you." They laughed with the next words.

Cas seemed to be singing to him, his eyes locked onto Dean, "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one." Dean let him sing the chorus alone until he felt Cas' hand on his face. The stroke of a thumb running over a day's growth of stubble. He leaned into the touch a little. It was another thing that he was comfortable with. "Finish the song with me."

Dean complied. They pulled into the spot outside of the room that they had booked the night before. Dean did not shut off the engine. They had one more chorus to sing. "You may say I'm a dreamer…" Dean turned to Cas who had not released his cheek. He sang right back at him. Their voices blended up nicely together. Dean thought that his voice wasn't much on its own, but mixed up with Cas' it was something pleasant. The final notes of the piano played out, and Cas let his hand drop from Dean's cheek to his shoulder. He reached out with his other hand and stopped the tape. The next song was one of the harsh discordant ones that Dean had selected.

Dean shut the engine off, and silence reigned supreme again. They got out of the car and went directly into the room. Dean cast off his jacket, Cas picked it up off of the floor. "Oh, sorry." Dean looked back at him as Cas set it carefully on the back of the chair by the window.

"Imagine putting your clothes where they go, it's easy if you try." Cas sang as he walked over to Dean.

"No former angels sassing me, before me just some guy." Dean smirked and got a smile out of Cas with his quick lyrics, despite the fact that they made very little sense. Cas kept approaching him, and Dean wondered what was on his mind. His hand came out and rested on Dean's shoulder, moving up into the crook between that space and his neck. "Do you need me to stitch you up?"

"No. I'm good." Cas moved his other hand up to Dean's other shoulder a mirror of the first. Dean just stood there. Cas sang another altered lyric. "I hope someday you'll join me." He glanced over at the bed raising an eyebrow as he did so. "And the two of us can be as one." Dean pulled him closer, hands wrapped around his waist.

"I'm gonna pretend that wasn't cheesy and just kiss you now." Dean leaned into the kiss and Cas hummed out the tune of the song into his mouth. Dean let more of his clothing hit the floor. Cas did not pick any of it up.

The bed welcomed them, and Cas kept breaking free of Dean's lips to sing more altered lyrics. Some were sprinkled with terms of endearment. Some were directions, "Imagine if you put your hand there, it's not hard to do." They laughed at that one. Dean followed up with some lyrics of his own, but he felt that Cas was better at the game.

"You may say that I am in love, but I'm not the only one." Cas cupped Dean's face in his hands and sang this down at him, their bodies pressed against one another, skin slick with sweat.

"Imagine that I love you, because it's all true." Dean smiled through the words, they came out easy now. It was funny to think that something like this had ever been difficult. The melody swam about in his head as he tried to think of more new lyrics to add to the song, more words to convey to Cas all that he thought of him, all that he meant. But Cas already knew. He always knew deep down, Dean thought. And the night crawled on, and they carried on like this until the dawn.

[jesusvasser]

Another Taste: 2019 Hyundai Veloster N

WILLOWS, California — The day went by like a movie montage: Laps at Thunderhill Raceway Park, drivers scaring the sewage out of themselves on the fast off-camber turns. Then we’re on the autocross, chasing down a pro driver’s low-39-second run, knowing the car will do the first S-bend flat-out—but not sure we can. And now here is a lonely back road; jump off the gas to hear the popping of the exhaust, then hammer through bumpy corners to see if see if anything can flap this suspension.

We long ago thought we were done with the following thought, but here it is yet again: “This is a Hyundai?!”

Specifically, it is the 2019 Veloster N, a car that should have hot-hatch pros Volkswagen, Honda, and Mini scared: after 30 years, Hyundai has finally cracked the code. It’s an old-school hot hatch taking advantage of new-school technology, and a car that reminds us that maybe the future isn’t entirely electric.

According to Hyundai, it’s only the beginning.

Savvy enthusiasts know the story behind the Veloster N: After decades of struggling with its driving dynamics, Hyundai-Kia hired BMW M alumni Albert Biermann, Thomas Shemera, and Fayez Rahman to work on it for the company. We’ve already seen the fruits of their labor via the Kia Stinger and Genesis G70, but the Veloster N and its European-market sibling, the Golf-shaped i30 N, are their first front-drive hot-hatch efforts. (For those who want to see the i30 N come stateside, rest assured that we’re getting the better end of the deal—the Veloster is lower and lighter, and should prove quicker.)

In the pre-Biermann days, Hyundai might have merely dropped in a Sonata engine and grafted on Optima brakes to create a quicker Veloster, but as you can imagine, under Biermann’s direction, things went way further. The engineers added additional welding and reinforcement to the body shell to increase torsional rigidity, stiffened the engine mounts to prevent powertrain movement from shifting the car’s weight balance, and massaged the aerodynamics to increase rear downforce as speed builds. They increased the front suspension’s roll center, and decreased it at the rear. They replaced the Veloster’s column-mounted power-steering motor with a rack-mounted unit, quickening the ratio in the effort, and they beefed up the six-speed manual transmission (a twin-clutch automatic is still a couple of years away). And they programmed a rev-matching mode that sets the RPMs when you downshift, eliminating the need to heel-and-toe.

And, of course, they doctored the electronics. Along with the standard Normal, Eco, and Sport modes, there’s an “N” mode, which sets every parameter (suspension, steering, throttle response, rev matching, sound enhancement, relaxed stability control) to the max, along with a custom “N” mode that lets you set each parameter to your liking.

Hyundai also developed two flavors of the car: The basic Veloster N develops 250 horsepower and rides on 18-inch wheels shod with Michelin Pilot Super Sport tires; the Performance Package increases horsepower to 275 (torque remains unchanged at 260 lb-ft, though the peak rev range stretches 700 rpm higher) and adds bigger brakes, 19-inch wheels, specially-developed Pirelli P-Zero tires, an electronic limited-slip differential, and a valve in the muffler that opens up the exhaust in N-mode. The results, as with any good performance car, are way better than the sum of the parts.

We began the morning with a Performance Package car on the roads just outside Thunderhill. You could happily spend the entire day enjoying the fusillade of pops from the exhaust during gearshifts, but duty called and a clear patch of road beckoned, so the Veloster N pushed onward: 100 MPH in fourth gear and no drama from the suspension.

The ride is hard as a rock when the suspension is in its stiffest setting, causing the car to bounce like a 10-year-old Honda Civic with chopped springs. Softer settings provide a ride that is surprisingly comfortable; in fact, perhaps few cars offer so much differentiation. Go ahead and setup N Custom with full noise activated, rev matching on, soft suspension, and lighter steering—with the big “N” button featured prominently on the steering wheel, right by the driver’s right thumb, it was easy to flick between the two, turning the super-stiff ride on and off at will.

We found several bumpy corners and hit them as fast as seemed prudent, but nothing threw the Veloster off its line. That said, it would be nice if the quick-ratio steering wasn’t quite so quick, at least right off-center; the car isn’t exactly twitchy in a straight line, but it’s close.

Another cool discovery: Selecting Normal mode causes the car to go soft and silent, to the point you may as well be driving a base-model Veloster. This ability to morph between weekend racer and weekday commuter is arguably one of the Veloster N’s best features, as anyone who drives a Mini JCW daily might agree—fun is fun, but it isn’t fun all of the time.

Back at Thunderhill on the autocross, Hyundai’s engineers recommended N Custom mode with the softer suspension setting. The tight turns proved the mettle of the electronic limited-slip diff: the Veloster’s unit kept the inside-front tire in check without any noticeable power loss. However, any hopes for a little power-off oversteer (a rarity in front-drivers, but the Focus ST does it), evaporated quickly.

Finally, it was time for the track. For those unfamiliar, Thunderhill Raceway is a horror show of blind crests, way-off-camber turns, and big, fast sweepers. Here, the Veloster N showed its flexibility and raw talent. Power and chassis felt well matched, and the stiff suspension kept the chassis strapped down tight—very nice for those panicky moments when the pavement went in an unexpected direction. The rev-matching feature was a real boon, making for the easiest downshifts this side of a paddle. And the grip—oh, man, the grip! Thunderhill has several turns that can be taken at generous speeds, and the Pirelli rubber kept the Veloster glued to the track. The cars designated for on-circuit driving were fitted with track-ready brake pads, available from Hyundai dealers, and though the pedal softened a bit, braking action remained consistent and strong.

By the end of the day, the inkling present from the very beginning had proven to be legitimate: The Veloster N is the real deal, a serious hot hatch that can run with the best.

Let’s compare it to the heavy hitters: VW GTI and Golf R, Honda Civic Si and Type R, Mini Cooper S and JCW, Ford Focus ST and RS. Styling-wise, some will certainly consider the Hyundai the winner: Its sports-car stance, tasteful red trim, and reasonably restrained rear wing make the Honda and Ford look childish and the VWs look too subtle. (The Minis are a toss-up, since a billion customization options let the owner pick how it looks.) Power-wise, the Hyundai comes up right in the middle between the 200 and 300 hp cars, though its engine loses a few points to the rev-happy Hondas. Biermann reminded us the Veloster N’s engine is “nothing special,” Hyundai’s work-a-day 2.0T with the boost turned up, and it shows. But the Performance Package wins those points back for its delicious exhaust note.

In terms of handling, it’s likely a toss-up for a lot of drivers. It would be nice if the Veloster was as easy to rotate as the Focus ST, and the front-drive Civic Type R continuously amazes us with its ability to run with the all-wheel-drive cars—the best being the Golf R, which seems to give its driver a day pass from the laws of physics. The Veloster N doesn’t quite generate that level of magic, but its electronic limited-slip diff works well and it shakes off the abuse of the track like a pro. It’s not out of its depth in such esteemed company, that’s for sure.

Hyundai hadn’t announced pricing at the time of our drive, but it said the Veloster N will come in at less than $28,000, including destination fee, while Performance Package cars will list for less than $30k. Consider that the 220-hp 2018 VW GTI starts at $27,310, and the 2018 Civic Type R lists for $35,595, and the Veloster N is one hell of a performance bargain. Perhaps it isn’t so hard to believe this is a Hyundai, after all.

The Korean manufacturer has promised even more, with additional full-on N models coming, along with an N-Line trim package for most of its cars, and racy N accessories for all. A promising future, but if the whole shebang stopped with the Veloster N, we’d be perfectly happy. This is an honest performance hatchback from the last place we expected, and it’s bound to change enthusiasts’ opinion of the brand.

2019 Hyundai Veloster N Specifications

ON SALE  Early 2019 PRICE $30,000 (est) ENGINE 2.0L turbocharged DOHC 16-valve I-4 /275 hp @ 6,000 rpm, 260 lb-ft @ 1,450-4,700 rpm TRANSMISSION 6-speed manual LAYOUT 3-door, 4-passenger, front-engine, FWD hatchback EPA MILEAGE 22/28 mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 167.9 x 71.3 x 54.9 in WHEELBASE 104.3 in WEIGHT 3,117 lb 0-60 MPH 6.0 sec (est) TOP SPEED  155 mph

IFTTT

[jonathanbelloblog]

Another Taste: 2019 Hyundai Veloster N

WILLOWS, California — The day went by like a movie montage: Laps at Thunderhill Raceway Park, drivers scaring the sewage out of themselves on the fast off-camber turns. Then we’re on the autocross, chasing down a pro driver’s low-39-second run, knowing the car will do the first S-bend flat-out—but not sure we can. And now here is a lonely back road; jump off the gas to hear the popping of the exhaust, then hammer through bumpy corners to see if see if anything can flap this suspension.

We long ago thought we were done with the following thought, but here it is yet again: “This is a Hyundai?!”

Specifically, it is the 2019 Veloster N, a car that should have hot-hatch pros Volkswagen, Honda, and Mini scared: after 30 years, Hyundai has finally cracked the code. It’s an old-school hot hatch taking advantage of new-school technology, and a car that reminds us that maybe the future isn’t entirely electric.

According to Hyundai, it’s only the beginning.

Savvy enthusiasts know the story behind the Veloster N: After decades of struggling with its driving dynamics, Hyundai-Kia hired BMW M alumni Albert Biermann, Thomas Shemera, and Fayez Rahman to work on it for the company. We’ve already seen the fruits of their labor via the Kia Stinger and Genesis G70, but the Veloster N and its European-market sibling, the Golf-shaped i30 N, are their first front-drive hot-hatch efforts. (For those who want to see the i30 N come stateside, rest assured that we’re getting the better end of the deal—the Veloster is lower and lighter, and should prove quicker.)

In the pre-Biermann days, Hyundai might have merely dropped in a Sonata engine and grafted on Optima brakes to create a quicker Veloster, but as you can imagine, under Biermann’s direction, things went way further. The engineers added additional welding and reinforcement to the body shell to increase torsional rigidity, stiffened the engine mounts to prevent powertrain movement from shifting the car’s weight balance, and massaged the aerodynamics to increase rear downforce as speed builds. They increased the front suspension’s roll center, and decreased it at the rear. They replaced the Veloster’s column-mounted power-steering motor with a rack-mounted unit, quickening the ratio in the effort, and they beefed up the six-speed manual transmission (a twin-clutch automatic is still a couple of years away). And they programmed a rev-matching mode that sets the RPMs when you downshift, eliminating the need to heel-and-toe.

And, of course, they doctored the electronics. Along with the standard Normal, Eco, and Sport modes, there’s an “N” mode, which sets every parameter (suspension, steering, throttle response, rev matching, sound enhancement, relaxed stability control) to the max, along with a custom “N” mode that lets you set each parameter to your liking.

Hyundai also developed two flavors of the car: The basic Veloster N develops 250 horsepower and rides on 18-inch wheels shod with Michelin Pilot Super Sport tires; the Performance Package increases horsepower to 275 (torque remains unchanged at 260 lb-ft, though the peak rev range stretches 700 rpm higher) and adds bigger brakes, 19-inch wheels, specially-developed Pirelli P-Zero tires, an electronic limited-slip differential, and a valve in the muffler that opens up the exhaust in N-mode. The results, as with any good performance car, are way better than the sum of the parts.

We began the morning with a Performance Package car on the roads just outside Thunderhill. You could happily spend the entire day enjoying the fusillade of pops from the exhaust during gearshifts, but duty called and a clear patch of road beckoned, so the Veloster N pushed onward: 100 MPH in fourth gear and no drama from the suspension.

The ride is hard as a rock when the suspension is in its stiffest setting, causing the car to bounce like a 10-year-old Honda Civic with chopped springs. Softer settings provide a ride that is surprisingly comfortable; in fact, perhaps few cars offer so much differentiation. Go ahead and setup N Custom with full noise activated, rev matching on, soft suspension, and lighter steering—with the big “N” button featured prominently on the steering wheel, right by the driver’s right thumb, it was easy to flick between the two, turning the super-stiff ride on and off at will.

We found several bumpy corners and hit them as fast as seemed prudent, but nothing threw the Veloster off its line. That said, it would be nice if the quick-ratio steering wasn’t quite so quick, at least right off-center; the car isn’t exactly twitchy in a straight line, but it’s close.

Another cool discovery: Selecting Normal mode causes the car to go soft and silent, to the point you may as well be driving a base-model Veloster. This ability to morph between weekend racer and weekday commuter is arguably one of the Veloster N’s best features, as anyone who drives a Mini JCW daily might agree—fun is fun, but it isn’t fun all of the time.

Back at Thunderhill on the autocross, Hyundai’s engineers recommended N Custom mode with the softer suspension setting. The tight turns proved the mettle of the electronic limited-slip diff: the Veloster’s unit kept the inside-front tire in check without any noticeable power loss. However, any hopes for a little power-off oversteer (a rarity in front-drivers, but the Focus ST does it), evaporated quickly.

Finally, it was time for the track. For those unfamiliar, Thunderhill Raceway is a horror show of blind crests, way-off-camber turns, and big, fast sweepers. Here, the Veloster N showed its flexibility and raw talent. Power and chassis felt well matched, and the stiff suspension kept the chassis strapped down tight—very nice for those panicky moments when the pavement went in an unexpected direction. The rev-matching feature was a real boon, making for the easiest downshifts this side of a paddle. And the grip—oh, man, the grip! Thunderhill has several turns that can be taken at generous speeds, and the Pirelli rubber kept the Veloster glued to the track. The cars designated for on-circuit driving were fitted with track-ready brake pads, available from Hyundai dealers, and though the pedal softened a bit, braking action remained consistent and strong.

By the end of the day, the inkling present from the very beginning had proven to be legitimate: The Veloster N is the real deal, a serious hot hatch that can run with the best.

Let’s compare it to the heavy hitters: VW GTI and Golf R, Honda Civic Si and Type R, Mini Cooper S and JCW, Ford Focus ST and RS. Styling-wise, some will certainly consider the Hyundai the winner: Its sports-car stance, tasteful red trim, and reasonably restrained rear wing make the Honda and Ford look childish and the VWs look too subtle. (The Minis are a toss-up, since a billion customization options let the owner pick how it looks.) Power-wise, the Hyundai comes up right in the middle between the 200 and 300 hp cars, though its engine loses a few points to the rev-happy Hondas. Biermann reminded us the Veloster N’s engine is “nothing special,” Hyundai’s work-a-day 2.0T with the boost turned up, and it shows. But the Performance Package wins those points back for its delicious exhaust note.

In terms of handling, it��s likely a toss-up for a lot of drivers. It would be nice if the Veloster was as easy to rotate as the Focus ST, and the front-drive Civic Type R continuously amazes us with its ability to run with the all-wheel-drive cars—the best being the Golf R, which seems to give its driver a day pass from the laws of physics. The Veloster N doesn’t quite generate that level of magic, but its electronic limited-slip diff works well and it shakes off the abuse of the track like a pro. It’s not out of its depth in such esteemed company, that’s for sure.

Hyundai hadn’t announced pricing at the time of our drive, but it said the Veloster N will come in at less than $28,000, including destination fee, while Performance Package cars will list for less than $30k. Consider that the 220-hp 2018 VW GTI starts at $27,310, and the 2018 Civic Type R lists for $35,595, and the Veloster N is one hell of a performance bargain. Perhaps it isn’t so hard to believe this is a Hyundai, after all.

The Korean manufacturer has promised even more, with additional full-on N models coming, along with an N-Line trim package for most of its cars, and racy N accessories for all. A promising future, but if the whole shebang stopped with the Veloster N, we’d be perfectly happy. This is an honest performance hatchback from the last place we expected, and it’s bound to change enthusiasts’ opinion of the brand.

2019 Hyundai Veloster N Specifications

ON SALE  Early 2019 PRICE $30,000 (est) ENGINE 2.0L turbocharged DOHC 16-valve I-4 /275 hp @ 6,000 rpm, 260 lb-ft @ 1,450-4,700 rpm TRANSMISSION 6-speed manual LAYOUT 3-door, 4-passenger, front-engine, FWD hatchback EPA MILEAGE 22/28 mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 167.9 x 71.3 x 54.9 in WHEELBASE 104.3 in WEIGHT 3,117 lb 0-60 MPH 6.0 sec (est) TOP SPEED  155 mph

IFTTT

[johnthewriter-blog]

Scalpels and Fluffy White Towels

The highway is busy with cars, and the woman in red and black is tired of standing in the dark. It is quite hot after all. The glow of a streetlight seems to ebb and flow in unison with the roar of large SUVs.  Letting her outstretched thumb fall back to her side, the woman sighs and sticks her leg out onto the road, just like in the movies, with her dress hiked up.

           As if on cue, a battered looking car comes to a screeching halt, and the passenger door swings open.  Carefully sliding into the cracked leather seat, Sharon Waters secrets her engagement ring into the recesses of her purse.  Inside, she can feel the reassuring cold steel of her surgeon’s scalpel.

          Greeting the stranger who would be her supposed savior, Sharon smiles, her blood-red lips splitting apart to reveal a perfect set of sharp white teeth.

“So, where are you headed?” he asks in a low voice, “I can take you wherever you need to go.”

           Sharon examines him with appraising eyes, struggling to actually describe him. Hands at eight and two, he drives conservatively-the presence of a beautiful woman doesn’t goad him into aggressiveness. Of average height, his face is forgettable and his dark clothes are too plain to warrant any description. Even in a crowd, he would blend in amongst the faces effortlessly. The only things memorable about him are the hopeful eyes of an indeterminate color and a youthful, exuberant smile framed by a thin scraggly beard, on a round boy’s face. He’s indefinite.

           Most importantly, the man is completely harmless.

           “For now,” she says, “I think I’ll just enjoy the ride.”

           He laughs, expertly swerving around a slow-moving van, and the car makes the turn into the exit into the city.

           His name is Charles, or Carl-something like that, and he’s from some small town, or a large city in the States.

          “I’m only in Toronto because of the Film Festival,” he explains, “I’m a firefighter and my rotation is over, for the next three weeks I’m free to do what I like.  So, I thought I’d come up here to watch some free movies, see the celebrities and meet a few beautiful ladies.”

           “Had any luck?” Sharon asks.

          “Well, I just arrived this morning. And I haven’t had a chance to see any films, though I do think I saw Mike Myers. As for beautiful women, if all Canadian women are only half as attractive as my present company, I may come up here more often.”

           “You’re too kind! Really, I’m quite plain, there are for more beautiful wo-“

          “Not at all! You look like one of those pinup models from the Second World War-and that dress. Red and black certainly suit that hourglass figure. You can be the blueprint for womanly beauty.”

           “Are you staying anywhere?” she asks casually.

          “Yup, I can’t remember the hotel’s name, but it’s room 1801, on the top floor!  It’s a nice, great big bright suite with windows and glass tables and everything.”

           “How old are you, Carl?”

          “It’s James, and I’m only 23,” he says, blinking his eyes. “Er, I never asked you for your name, miss, but I understand if you don’t want to tell me…”

           Sharon smiles, “You can call me Lina.”

          He is overly enthusiastic about everything-and once again, the presence of this beautiful woman has nothing to do with it, it’s just the way he is. Happily, he rambles on about his life, his hopes and dreams, making Sharon laugh with stories about his fellow firefighters, and his childhood adventures.

It’s his youth, his life and his optimism, that Sharon enjoys. He is untainted and trusting-for him it’s all laid out; earning money as firefighter to travel to far-off places. Buying a home and raising a family.

           In his desire to explain it all he stutters, almost shaking with all of the energy inside him. Sharon simply listens; nodding, laughing, and smiling. The car tears through the entertainment district, bright lights and the sounds of celebration drifting through the windows as the man talks. A sleepy-eyed cop thinks about giving the speeding car a ticket, but it’s been a long, hot day, and a warm bed calls to him, so the car races on, unknowing.

“Charles, what movies were you interested in seeing at the Festival?” Sharon asks. “I think I can suggest a few.”

“Sure,” he grins, “Sounds like a plan. We don’t have far to go-my hotel is nearby. Less than two lights away.”

           It is a nice room. Fluffy white towels. The little bars of soap, and the complimentary ice bucket. He shows off his room with pride.

          “A king-sized bed!” he laughs, leaping onto it. “I never imagined I’d ever have a chance to sleep in a king-sized bed. The luxury of it! Amazing! Now, where did I leave that schedule?”

           Side by side, they sit and look at the films that will debut. Not once does he touch her, make a suggestive joke, or act like anything other than what he appears to be: innocent.

           Sharon turns quickly and kisses him on the lips.

           “I like you,” she says. “You’re very nice.”

          Startled, he stares at her eyes wide like saucers for a moment, and then he leaps from the bed as if it were on fire.

           He’s nothing like Lewis at all, Sharon thinks.

           Awakening that morning had been dull and unremarkable, sleep and awareness as indistinguishable as they were fleeting. One moment, an eternity in bliss, and the next an instant of infinite consciousness. She stirred in her bed, and balefully glared at her wall clock, without reading the time.

           Sharon Waters, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with one hand, had thumbed her wedding ring with another. It is a massive rock. Lewis had spent at least six months’ salary paying for it. The ring glittered warmly in the crimson morning sunlight, stained a bloody hue by the Mexican blinds Sharon had picked out herself.

           It would be a hot day, she had known, with the sun burning a fiery halo in a sky the color of robin’s eggs, the color of her own eyes. Today, old people would die, children would be rushed to hospital with sunstroke and dogs would bite their masters in the madness of the heat. Today, crime would abound, and there would be murder. All this she had known and yet she had gotten out of bed anyways. In fact, besides the pulsing fire in her abdomen, these things she had known were reasons enough to get out of bed.

          As she stretched stiff muscles she mentally probed the burning conflagration, relishing the exploration of its nature. The flames singed the bottom of her lungs, and the coals rested between her legs, and deep within the flames, she sensed the boiling of poisoned blood, corroding away at her entrails. The fire had raged with a pulse contrary to her own, a pulse that had pushed her to her feet and onto the path that would take her from the fiery introduction of the day, to its infernal conclusion

           Stifling a yawn, she had made her way to the bathroom.

           Naked, she was an unimpressive sight.

          “Sexy and beautiful women…” Lewis had said, “…are easy! You just put all the curves in the right place, slap on bee-stung lips, add more curves, shave all hair beneath her arms, yet more curves, and make sure the nose is centre. And a few more curves wouldn’t hurt.”

           Sharon had laughed wildly, an ugly, braying noise, shaking with mirth and abandoning the pose he had been painting.

           “So what does that make me?”

          “You’re everything a woman should not be: flat as a board, mannish arms and legs, limp and dead hair. Atrocious! Eyes the color of the sky, but they’re the dead eyes of a fish. Your skin is too thin, and ‘veiny’. About the only thing “beautiful” about you, is that size-zero you got going on there.”

           He had pointed at her with his paintbrush, and chewed his lip.

          “But I love you the way you are-it’s just that, for this painting, I want to avoid the stereotypes. I really do love you.”

          She had smiled, at his unnecessary apologies. She knew Lewis loved her like no man had ever loved a woman before, and she was comfortable with the way she looked. Besides, Sharon had her ways…

          Staring into the mirror, Sharon had smiled again, the same crooked smile that did nothing to help her stark appearance. Striking a pose, she had frowned, and for a moment, tried to imagine what it felt like to be uncomfortable with one’s body. She couldn’t help but grin.

           “Yes, luckily for me, I can work my own magic.”

          The dress hugged her body like a sock, and curves appeared where they had not been before. Red and black, it created a visual experience most pleasing to any beholder, be they male or female. Contact lenses bring her eyes to life, and makeup brings color and life to her body. As she fixed her hair into complex ringlets to frame a suddenly Asian face, Sharon called the hospital letting them know she’s taking a sick day for serious cramps. Returning to the mirror, she added lipstick and silently gloated in the confidence that dressed as she was, no man could possibly resist her.

           Sharon spent the day listening to music, and only left her apartment once it became dark.

          “Er, thank you…” he says, stammering. “That’s very nice. I think I must have been boring you-talking about myself all night. I haven’t given you a chance to speak at all. Let’s head downstairs, there’s a bar and we could have a drink. Or if you’d like to leave, you can go. It’s alright.”

           Smiling, Sharon stands, causing the man to suddenly pale and hastily turn away.

           “I don’t need another drink,” she says. “And I don’t want to leave just yet. Are you married?”

           “Er, not. Not yet…”

           “Do you have a girlfriend?”

          “Um, yes… kind of. Sure. Maybe nine or ten months we’ve been sneaking around our parents to see one another. It’s very romantic. And now that we’re both on vacation, we’d made plans to spend time together next week.

           “That’s beautiful, very sweet. Is she nice to you?”

          “Yeah, she is. She is very nice and fun to be around. I always have fun when I’m around Denise, That’s her name by the way-Denise.”

           “It’s a pretty name. Is she pretty? Do you love her?”

          “Er, yes-at least I think so-she isn’t beautiful or a glamour queen, like yo-She has glasses and she’s pretty much blind and has to squint without them. But I think she’s very pretty…”

           He pauses for a moment.

          “I don’t know if I love her. I truly don’t know. I’ve thought about it-I could, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I really don’t know. But I don’t have to decide now, right?”

           Sharon places her lips close to his ear, and whispers softly…

           “Have the two of you slept together?”

           He blushes a deep red,”N-no, not exactly… No, we haven’t-other than some things. No, we haven’t…”

           “But you said she’s pretty? Doesn’t she have a nice body?”

          “She does! She’s really stacked and everything! She doesn’t smoke or drink. She swims and she’s a long distance runner. She’s got a great body.”

           “Then why haven’t you?”

           “Uh, well…you know…”             Sharon cannot and will not let it go. It is of utmost importance to her that she finds out what he has done with this Denise.

           “Does she want to?”

           “Yes…”

           “Do you want to?”

          He looks Sharon in the eyes, and then away. Taking his head gently in her hands, Sharon turns his head to face her once more, and his face says enough.

           “You’ll have to tell me what to do,” he mumbles.

          Nodding and smiling, Sharon assures him, “You won’t have to do anything. Just relax and enjoy yourself. I have to go to the bathroom for a second. You wait here, and I’ll be back before you even know it.

          For Sharon, his innocence is a defiant declaration. And it confuses and troubles her. To corrupt him would be unacceptable, but it would happen sure enough. Instead, she decides to save him from that inevitable corruption.

           As she undresses, she finds it makes a great deal of sense. As guiltless as he is now, Sharon knows all too well what will one day happen, and what he will be. The years of life will wear down heavily upon him, corroding away his goodness. As his body grows and strengthens, his conscience and soul will shrink, atrophy, and finally, die. In the end, he’ll become a big, brutish bully, swaggering through life without a care and only a laugh for the human lives he’ll leave behind crushed in the wake of his successes.

          What makes up Sharon’s mind is the most terrible truth: he won’t even know it is happening. What he will lose will go un-mourned and unmissed. Instead, it will be vaguely remembered with the overwhelming taint of shame. Never will he be embarrassed by the memory of his actions, and he will not regret ruining what makes him so good. This, Sharon knew in her heart.

           With this in mind, Sharon returns to the bedroom, the scalpel secreted behind her back. With carefully measured steps that betray no malevolence, Sharon sneaks up behind the young man. Just like she’d practiced before, Sharon grabs the man by his hair, and with a sawing motion opens his throat from one ear to the other.

          As life’s blood stain the sheets, the walls, the ceiling and the fluffy white towels, Sharon showers, redresses, and leaves.

[itsworn]

Win Car Craft’s 560HP 2006 Chrysler SRT8! #rockautoweektowicked

You know how the story goes. Boy grows up in love with hot rods, buys his first car, has a blast, gets married, parks the car, has kids, sells the car, raises a family, then yearns for the good old days. We won’t argue with a guy who has his priorities straight by putting family in front of fun, but unfortunately doing the right thing is almost never the same as doing the exciting thing.

In spite of that, we can’t tell you how many times we hear guys tell us they regret giving up their pride and joy. The hindsight gleaned from decades of sacrifice can have you wondering if you should’ve stayed with it. As someone who followed this road less traveled, I know it’s not only possible, but with the right approach it’s easier than you think. That’s why we made a decidedly family oriented choice with our first Week To Wicked project vehicle. We’ll explain what that is in a moment, but first some background.

Week To Wicked was cooked up several years ago as a way to make “reality” TV shows that cover hot rod themes a bit more honest. No manufactured drama, no fake deadlines, no buffoonery. The premise is to build a car in a week’s time, covering the technical and product details in produced videos, live social media feeds, and in Web articles. The series rotates between the different magazine titles under the Motor Trend Group umbrella, and folks who tune in get to experience all the grit and true drama of a real-time, live build.

As the media brand that serves the do-it-yourself guy on a real budget, Car Craft’s choice of vehicle for the RockAuto.com W2W program would need to hit just the right tone. Since RockAuto.com delivers reliably low prices on auto parts for the working man, the overwhelming majority of their business focuses not on vintage cars, but late-model vehicles. A higher-mileage, 12-year-old car like our 2006 Chrysler 300c SRT8 proved to be the perfect intersection between Car Craft and RockAuto.com, offering us the chance to replace (with RockAuto.com’s help) many aging factory parts like headlights, hoses, filters, and fluids, but also to take advantage of aftermarket offerings for Chrysler’s line of LX-platform vehicles.

  But there would be an interesting twist to this build: We were planning to give it away in a sweepstakes promotion. Since potentially anybody could win this car, it needed to be operable to anybody, and legal to use on the roadway in any part of the country. So while we might have been tempted to build a 1980 Chevy Malibu with a Lenco-equipped 1,200hp twin-turbo LS, we just couldn’t imagine how it would be safe or even legal for, say, a soccer mom in Fresno. With our course set, we contacted automotive stylist Michael Castiglione to inject some creativity with some up-to-the-minute looks; the hero image would inspire us if we experienced any doubts along the way.

The reality is that only one person can win this car, but it can still serve as a role model for thousands of others so inclined. With the cost of vintage muscle cars becoming stupidly expensive and brand-new V8-powered performance cars like the Mustang, Camaro, and Challenger being not much more affordable, there really is only a narrow selection of performers left for the family on a budget.

If not having room for your family and their stuff is a deal-breaker for a project car, then your choice is limited. So what’s left on the list? If you’re keeping score, you’ve probably dusted off names like Pontiac G8 GT, Chevy Caprice PPV, Mercury Marauder, Impala SS (the cool 1994 – 96 version), Buick Roadmaster, and of course the Chrysler 300c, Dodge Charger R/T, and Magnum R/T. All can carry grown adults in comfort, all have good V8 power with rearwheel drive, and all can be had at a favorable price on the used market.

Of these four-door muscle sedans, one stood out: the 300c SRT8. When it came out in 2006, it was the fastest, most powerful domestic sedan on the market (tied with its Dodge stablemates, the Charger and Magnum). Its 425hp 6.1L Hemi is a standout on its own, but with huge brakes, 20-inch performance tires, and a finely tuned sport suspension, it has most of the smaller, cheaper pony cars of its era running scared. As we began to compare prices for used Chrysler SRT8s against the other cars on our list, we discovered that its “luxury car” pretensions not only made it cheaper used than similar performing Charger and Magnum SRT8s, but that Chrysler SRT8s seemed not as thrashed. When we found one in mint condition with 103,000 miles for $9,900, we jumped on it.

Lots of hard road miles can be a concern with an older car—especially when it has to be relied upon for daily family use. That’s the cool part about having RockAuto.com in the mix. Unlike rolling the dice with a 40- or 50-year-old classic and trying to chase down a myriad of parts not made for decades, we could order everything we needed online to bring the SRT8 back to near-new condition. The money we saved refurbishing rather than buying a newer car made huge financial sense, and you can use that saved money for a lot of other things like wheels, tires, superchargers, or kid’s braces.

So many of the life stories we see in Car Craft have the narrative “then life got in the way…” Fortunately, we’ve been in that position and we refuse to give in. We wanted W2W to be more than just one lucky lottery-winner’s day, we wanted it to be a road map for how to accomplish the win-win of motoring satisfaction, family obligation, fiscal responsibility, and tire smoke.

It needed to be a real performer with manners, so we selected a 50-state legal Edelbrock E-Force supercharger kit (part No. 1536). This system produces an advertised 560 hp at the crankshaft when paired to the 6.1L Hemi, and does this at a modest pump-gas friendly 6 psi of boost with a pair of 2300-series TVS rotors from Eaton. This one simple mod transformed the already fast SRT8 (with a stock 425 hp) into a tire-smoke machine with enough grunt to outpace far newer, more expensive Camaros, Mustangs, and Corvettes. If you were to stop here, you’d have a pretty bitchin’ daily driver for around $18k, including the price of a donor SRT8.

Of note regarding the Edelbrock E-Force supercharger is that a tuner variant is also available that will allow the end-user to increase the boost and horsepower with additional tuning and bigger injectors. Add a set of Edelbrock Performer RPM heads and intake, add more cam, and you’ll be well into Hellcat and Demon territory. You’ll be on the hook for strengthening rear axle shafts and transmission components, but these are readily available through the aftermarket.

The theme continues in the suspension department where we took an already stellar performing suspension from SRT and made it better. Petty’s Garage makes a system comprised of single-adjustable shocks and struts combined with higher rate springs and adjustable ride height. In the front are coilover struts with height adjusters; in the rear is a separate shock/spring combination that uses a clever adjustable-height spring pocket on the body-side spring pocket. All struts/shocks have convenient damper adjustment knobs attached to flexible shafts that put the adjustment either under the hood or in the trunk, as opposed to under the car. A nice touch. We rounded out the Petty’s Garage suspension with PG’s stiffer front and rear swaybars, a trunk shock tower brace, and a new trans mount crossmember.

The factory Brembo brakes were already equal to or better than many aftermarket brake systems, so it was more a question of getting them back to new. We were pleasantly surprised to find that RockAuto.com sells a complete kit front and rear for the SRT8, which includes new factory rotors, new factory caliper assemblies, and new pads. When combined with fresh brake fluid, the aging SRT8 was brought back to as-new performance. Braking and handling performance were further improved with the addition of 22-inch Asanti Black Label ABL-15 wheels wrapped in Continental ExtremeContact DWS06 tires, size 265/30ZR22.

The body kit market for late-model performers is always very hot, as witnessed each year at SEMA with a non-stop parade of choices from wild to wilder. You may or may not agree about body kits that have no real bearing on performance, but we wanted the RoackAuto.com W2W SRT8 to really stand out visually. We remembered that a bunch of companies offered stuff when these cars came out in 2006, but by the time 2018 rolled around, we discovered the only cool thing that remained for these cars was a pair of fenders with side-extractor scoops. (We got the very last pair made.) We had Superstition Restoration (Mesa, AZ) paint and install these, and replace the damaged rear bumper cover with a new one from RockAuto.com.

With the exception of painting the fenders and fixing minor paint dings, the build of the RockAuto.com Week To Wicked SRT8 took place the week of August 13 – 17, 2018. Jason Scudellari and Christian Arriero of our Santa Ana Tech Center handled the transformation while our cameras rolled. We had many great visitors during the week, most memorably from Tom Taylor of RockAuto.com, who helped us refurbish the old gal with lots of new components for another 100,000 miles of care-free motoring. New wipers, filters, headlights, bulbs, hood struts, floor mats, plugs, ignition coils, updated navigation DVD, even a brand new Dynomax cat-back exhaust system got the nod. We also took time to replace all the fluids with AMSOIL synthetics.

Finishing things off on the last day, we added some special hood graphics, bolted on those jaw-dropping Asanti wheels, and had pinstriping expert Jeff Styles come in for some steady-handed licks down the side and on both bumpers. Styles also added some new SRT-8 badges (also from RockAuto.com), and finished off with a custom Week To Wicked car cover from CoverCraft. We had the car finished, but would it crank? Would it breathe fire?

We will refrain from specifying which brave individual stepped up to commit the felony-indictment burnout for our cameras (journalists are still allowed to protect their sources!), but suffice it to say the Edelbrock E-Force blower did not let us down, nor did the bulletproof 6.1L SRT Hemi it was bolted to. A subsequent trip to Westech Performance Group’s SuperFlow chassis dyno revealed a healthy 450 hp to the rear tires on California’s notorious 91-octane pump gas. This corresponds (after driveline loss) to roughly the advertised 560 crank horsepower—impressive considering the mileage.

In the months before and after the build, we had the chance to put a few thousand miles on the SRT8, and the difference is astonishing. Already an extremely competent performer, the biggest difference outside of liquefying the tires at will is the feeling that the car is inexorably glued to the road. The steering is sharp and immediate, lateral weight transfer happens immediately, grip is tenacious, and the entire effect is as if a thousand pounds has been removed from its frame. Light, fun, and tossable is the vibe, which is further abetted by the blower’s whine and the rumble from the exhaust.

As for the new owner, he or she will be chosen in the Week To Wicked Sweepstakes (to win, go to www.HotRod.com/w2w—registration runs through November 30, 2018). When that happens, we’ll be sad to see her go. After all, what’s not to like about this “roll” model? Room for friends, family, and all their stuff, a power level that eclipses all but Detroit’s most insane current offerings, grip like glue, and it costs less than a new Kia. As for the rest of you, we hope it emboldens you to move beyond just reading about it. We give you official Car Craft permission to build one … we already checked with your family!

The post Win Car Craft’s 560HP 2006 Chrysler SRT8! #rockautoweektowicked appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

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[pamphletstoinspire]

Catholic Physics - Reflections of a Catholic Scientist - Part 101 - Truth Cannot Contradict Truth - Part 10

With Images:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/catholic-physics-reflections-scientist-part-101-truth-harold-baines-5f/?published=t

SCIENCE BACKGROUND - PART 1

Lakatos “Scientific Research Programme” - black arrows indicate direction of foundation information flow; red arrows indicate direction of feedback information flow. - (Diagram made by RJK) - [Caption for linked image]

“To develop a complete mind: Study the art of science; study the science of art. Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else” — Leonardo DaVinci

SECTION 1: Elements of the Physics of Motion

1.1 INTRODUCTION

This section is for those students who don’t remember (or perhaps never were taught) elementary physics. I hope to give some qualitative notions of some basic concepts in physics and to do so with a minimum of mathematics, using pictures, animations and links to available explanations on the web.  So, dear reader, imagine you’re living in pre-Renaissance Europe, and are listening to those Medieval monks explain what they think about motion, and how it differs from what Aristotle had to say.

1.2 DISTANCE, VELOCITY, ACCELERATION

First, let’s consider distance. I believe all you readers have an intuitive notion of what distance is: you draw a straight line between point A and point B and the length of that line is the distance between points A and B.¹

What is velocity, then? Velocity is a rate, distance per time. (And, to be fussy, velocity has direction; “speed” is the magnitude of velocity; you don’t care what the direction is; velocity is “speed” plus direction.)

Now I ask your pardon, dear reader to bear with me while I inject just a little math to make the concept clear. Suppose it’s four miles to the nearest rest stop on the thruway and you must get there in five minutes (or less–I won’t ask why.  How fast do you have to travel or what should your car’s velocity be? Your rate of travel, speed, must be four miles in five minutes, or 4miles/ 5 minutes, or as it would be written conventionally, 4/5 miles/minute; in other words, distance divided by time.  Since there are 60 minutes in an hour, a little arithmetic shows you would have to travel 60x (4/5) miles/hour or 48 mph². And here’s an equation (again, pardon)

v= d/t  where v is velocity, d is distance and t is time to travel that distance

What is acceleration? It’s also a rate, the change in velocity divided by the corresponding change in time. Let’s turn again to an example with some numbers. Fresh out of grad school I bought a MG TD (red, no less!).  The MG was not, to use my grandson’s lingo, “zippy.” From a standing start, it could get to a speed of 42 mph in about 20 seconds (real sports cars take only about 5 seconds to get to 60 mph).  This acceleration rate corresponds happily (for nice numbers) to about 1 (m/s)/s or 1 m/s².   So we have acceleration, a, given by the gain in velocity over the time, t, it takes to achieve that change:

a = (change in v) / t

Here’s an illustration to give you some notion of what acceleration and velocity look like. It’s the MG TD performing as above, going from 0 to 42 mph in 20 s and thereafter at the constant speed of 42 mph. The shots correspond to 4 s intervals from 8s to 28 s. (Caption for linked image below)

Velocities at 4 second intervals from 8s to 28 s. Acceleration is 1 m/s^2, to get to 42 mph in 20 s. Acceleration ceases at 20 seconds, so velocity is constant from 20 seconds to 28 seconds; the speed is listed above each car image; the arrow length corresponds (roughly) to the velocity:

An easy way to think about constant acceleration is that the distance covered in a given time is average velocity multiplied by the time.  The average velocity is just (1/2) (v_beginning + v_end).³

As pointed out in ESSAY 1, SECTION 3.2, Nicolas Oresme had derived these relations between velocity, distance and acceleration by a graphical analysis, 100 years before Galileo.  However, it was Galileo who did the science: confirmed the theory by experiment.

Inclined Plane used by Galileo to measure relation between distance, velocity and acceleration (Caption for linked image)

How did Galileo set up an experiment where the motion would be slow enough for him to measure time, distances and speed? Acceleration of falling bodies would be too fast.  Here’s the experiment, done in elementary physics lab classes.  An inclined plane, as in the illustration below, length L, is set up so that the top end of the plane is a height h above the ground. A ball or cylinder rolls down the plane and you measure distance traveled in given times. Now if the plane were to be vertical (h=L), the ball would fall with an acceleration that of gravity (9.8 m/s²) and that would be too fast. If the plane is flat (h=0), the ball would not roll at all (hey! that’s poetry?). Clearly the acceleration is going to vary as the height h changes.  It turns out that the acceleration is proportional to h/L. It will be the same–independent of size or material–for a given shape sliding or rolling down the plane.

1.3 MOMENTUM

How do objects acquire velocity, that is accelerate? Buridan in the 14th Century had ideas about velocity that anticipated Galileo and Newton centuries later. He said that a moving body had “impetus,” the heavier the body moving at a given velocity, the more impetus it had.  If you threw a ball, the motion of your arm gave the ball its impetus. “Impetus” is what we now call “momentum” and define as

momentum = mass x velocity

Mass is what we ordinarily think of as weight, but to be fussy, weight is really mass times the force of gravity. You can think of mass as resistance to change in motion, what would technically be termed “inertia.”

Here’s an example to give you some intuitive notion about momentum: the MG TD referred to above is a very light car, weighing only about 1/2 ton (1000 pounds); a late model Cadillac is much heavier, weighing about two tons. Accordingly, the mass of the Caddy is about four times greater than that of the MG.  So, if the MG were traveling at 40 mph and the Caddy at (1/4)x 40 mph = 10 mph, they would have equal momentum (if they were traveling in the same direction–remember, velocity has direction, speed does not).  This is illustrated below.

Caddy (top) is moving 1/4 as fast as MG(below) but has 4 times the mass; so the momentum of the Caddy and the MG are the same. (Caption for linked image)

1.4 FORCE

What causes a body to accelerate, acquire velocity? Again, Buridan had the right qualitative notion: the body acquired impetus because of an action by an agent, you, throwing the ball with your arm. In this notion there is an implied notion of force, which Newton (17th century) made explicit by his Second Law of Motion:

Force = mass x acceleration

more generally if mass doesn’t stay constant (think of an example involving liquids!)

Force = change of momentum/change of time

For the first definition, go back to the example of the accelerating MG: the force is provided by friction between the tires and the road, the tires— wheels — are made to go round by the engine turning a drive-shaft.

For the second definition, think of a pitcher winding up and releasing a baseball moving at 90 mph as depicted in this video . The baseball has a mass of about 0.15 kg (or about 0.3 lbs) If you go frame by frame in the video, you’ll see that it takes less than 10 ms (0.01 s) for the pitcher to start his windup and release the ball; that’s the change in time for the baseball to acquire its velocity of 90 mph (we’ll neglect air friction slowing the ball down). So, fussing with units — I don’t need for you all to mess with the arithmetic — you get a force of about 650 Newtons required.

For comparison, the force of gravity on the baseball is about 1.5 Newtons. If air friction is neglected, from what height would the ball have to fall to get this 90 mph velocity? About 100 yards. Why the greater force to throw the ball this fast?  Because the force of the throw is acting for only a short period of time, during the pitcher’s windup, whereas gravity will be acting all during the fall.

1.5 KINDS OF ENERGY; CONSERVATION OF ENERGY

There are two other physics concepts, as important as velocity, acceleration and force, that bear on motion, and those are energy and work.  I’ll talk about “Work” in Section 2, below, but here are some ideas about the different kinds of energy. To get an intuitive idea of this, let’s go into more detail about how the MG acquires velocity.

First, fuel is burnt in the cylinders to move the pistons up and down and thereby rotate the shaft that turns the rear wheels around, moving them against the friction of the road.  We have then chemical energy from the gasoline combining with oxygen (burning) converted to mechanical energy.  The energy of motion is called “kinetic energy” and is given by the formula

Kinetic Energy = (1/2) mass x velocity^2 (the “^2” means “squared”)

Another important form of energy is “potential energy,” energy a body has by virtue of its position. Let’s think about what this means. When you let a ball roll down an inclined plane it has zero kinetic energy at the top and kinetic energy at the bottom after it’s accelerated due to gravity and acquired velocity.  So where does that kinetic energy come from?  To balance the energy books we say the ball at the top of the plane has potential energy that can be converted to kinetic energy.  This potential energy is given (for gravity at the surface of the earth) by

Potential Energy = mass x g x h= mgh

where g is the acceleration due to gravity (9.8 m/s^2), h is the height above the bottom

This is illustrated below: (Caption for linked image)

Potential Energy Changed to Kinetic Energy as Ball Rolls down the Inclined Plane.

An important principle of physics is that energy is conserved.  What does that mean? It means that energy doesn’t disappear into nowhere, for example:

kinetic energy, energy of motion is lost due to friction, but is converted to the same amount of heat energy;

kinetic energy, energy of motion is lost due to work done, moving the MG up a hill–the work done is equal to the amount of kinetic energy lost; the work done is equal to the gain in potential energy at the end;

chemical energy of the gasoline is converted to kinetic energy less friction losses in the engine and drive shaft.

Accordingly, the energy bank account balances: input (at the beginning) of chemical energy, gasoline in the fuel tank = kinetic energy at the end of the drive, when the fuel tank is empty + energy lost due to friction of the tires with the road, engine and drive shaft friction + work done due to a net change in height level at the end or gain in potential energy.

In SECTION 2, I’ll have more to say about the science of energy, “Thermodynamics,” particularly these two important laws: The First and Second Laws of Thermodynamics.

1.6 NOTES

¹Let me add a cautionary note physicswise: if you are traveling between A and B (home and the local fastfood place, let’s say) and you wander around, make side-trips, the distance is still the length of the line between beginning and ending points.  If you want to get total mileage traveled, then you have to draw straight lines between each of the intermediate starting and stopping points and add the lengths up.

² Since each hour contains 60 minutes, you would have to go 60 (minutes/hour) x (4/5) (miles/minute) or 60 x (4/5) (miles/hour)= 48 (miles/hour).

³For our example, the distance covered by the accelerating MG between 12 seconds (v_beginning = 25 mph) and 16 seconds (v_end=33mph) is just

(1/2) (25+33) (miles/hour) x(1 hour/ (3600 seconds) x (16-12) seconds or about 56 yards

SECTION 2: Thermodynamics, the Science of Energy

“It looks full of hard words and signs and numbers, not very entertaining or understandable looking, and I wonder whether it will make people wiser or better.’ So wrote a cousin of Josiah Willard Gibbs when she happened onto a copy of his most famous paper on thermodynamics lying on his desk.” — As quoted from Order and Chaos, by Stanley Angrist and Loren Hepler.

Diagram of the Second Law of Thermodynamics for a Heat Engine; from Wikimedia Commons (Caption for linked image)

From the uncoiling energetics of DNA to the information lost into black holes, thermodynamics enters into every field of science. The Second Law of Thermodynamics, all about order and disorder — you can’t (realistically) unscramble eggs — is perhaps the most fundamental of those principles at the inner core of the Lakatos sphere.  Einstein’s comment about thermodynamics says it all:

“A theory is the more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises, the more different kinds of things it relates, and the more extended its area of applicability. Therefore the deep impression that classical thermodynamics made upon me. It is the only physical theory of universal content which I am convinced will never be overthrown, within the framework of applicability of its basic concepts.” — Albert Einstein (author), Paul Arthur, Schilpp (editor). Autobiographical Notes. A Centennial Edition. Open Court Publishing Company.

In this section I’ll try to explain some fundamental concepts in thermodynamics and to explore what the First and Second Laws of thermodynamics tell us about the world (and God?).

2.1 WORK

What do we mean in physics by the term “work”?   It means applied force times distance moved.  If you apply a force — push against a stone wall — but don’t move the wall, you may work up a sweat, but you haven’t done any work.  These ideas are illustrated below.  In the two diagrams below, a basket is moved up a distance d. The force applied is the weight, mg, due to gravity: F=mg; the distance moved is “d.”  So the work W is given by

Work = applied force times distance moved or W = mg X d

weight (basket) before being lifted. The basket is at height h above ground.The potential energy is then mgh. (Caption for linked image)

basket after being lifted a distance d. the basket is now a height h+d above the ground and the potential energy is mg(h+d) (Caption for linked image)

In the next two diagrams the basket is moved across a table against a resisting frictional force, Fr.  Again the basket moves a distance d, so the Work done on the basket is W=FrXd. (Caption for linked image)

Basket before being moved. (Caption for linked image)

Basket after being moved a distance d against a frictional force Fr. (Caption for linked image)

I should emphasize that the examples given are for “mechanical work. I also want to emphasize again that doing work is more than exerting a force. Work is force times distance force moved.

2.2 WORK, HEAT AND ENERGY

To repeat: there are many kinds of energy: for example, mechanical; electrical; magnetic, chemical, heat. All these forms of energy can be converted to work and work can be changed into these several forms of energy. (See this interesting video about conversion of different forms of energy.)

In the first example above, a basket is pulled up a distance d against the force of gravity, mg;

the work done, mgd, is converted to the increase in potential energy: before the lift the potential energy was mgh; after the lift the potential energy was mg (h+d) (the height above the ground of the basket has increased to h+d) so the difference (after – before) is just mgd.

In the second example the work done does not increase the potential energy of the basket —it’s still at the same height. Where has the energy which should have been produced by the work gone?  Recall that the basket moved against a frictional force.  What form of energy is produced by friction? Heat! Here again is an account of Joule’s experiment on the conversion of work to heat:

History of Thermodynamics: James Joule: Work—>Heat

Diagram of Joule’s Apparatus for Measuring the Mechanical Equivalent of Heat from Wikimedia Commons (Caption for linked image)

As the weight falls, the potential energy of the weight is converted into work done (a paddle stirs the water in the container against a frictional force due to water viscosity).  The temperature rise corresponding to a given fall of weights (work done) yields the amount of heat rise (in calories) of the known mass of water.¹  Since the temperature rise is very small, the measurements have to be very accurate.

It took 30 to 50 years after Joule’s definitive experiment (and subsequent refinements and repetitions) for the kinetic theory of heat — heat caused by random, irregular motion of atoms and molecules–to be fully accepted by the scientific community.  James Clerk Maxwell published in 1871 a paper, “Theory of Heat”. This comprehensive treatise and advances in thermodynamics convinced scientists finally to accept that heat was a form of energy related to the kinetic energy (the energy of motion) of the atoms and molecules in a substance.

2.3 CONSERVATION OF ENERGY — THE FIRST LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS

The conservation of mechanical energy was discussed in Section 1: the potential energy of a body a height h above the ground is equal to its kinetic energy just before it hits the ground, where the potential energy is zero.  The First Law of Thermodynamics states the conservation of energy in a more general way:

ΔE = Q + W

We focus here on a “system.”  The system might be a container of water, it might be the earth, or anything of interest with some boundaries that are closed (by “closed” we mean that no matter crosses the boundaries of the system). “Q” is the heat absorbed by the system; W is the work done on the system; ΔE is the change in energy of the system.²

An early statement (1850) of the First Law was given by the German physicist Rudolf Clausius:

“In all cases in which work is produced by the agency of heat, a quantity of heat is consumed which is proportional to the work done; and conversely, by the expenditure of an equal quantity of work an equal quantity of heat is produced.

Clausius also gave a definitive statement for the Second Law, but before discussing that I’d like to talk about how the Second Law developed and the concept of entropy came to be.

2.4 THE SECOND LAW: HEAT ENGINES.

One pedestal of the Industrial Revolution in the 18th and 19th Centuries was the heat engine, designed

NOTES

¹Here’s how the amount of heat transferred to the water,Q, is determined. Q is related to the temperature rise, ΔT, as follows: Q = C ΔT.  C is the “heat capacity,” which is proportional to the amount of water in the apparatus and a constant, specific heat capacity, c, that depends on the substance. For liquid water at ordinary temperatures, c= 1 calorie/ (gram x degree Centigrade).or 4181 Joules/(kilogram x degree Centigrade).

²If we were to conform strictly to current usage we would use ΔU rather than ΔE, where U is the “internal energy” of the system (as distinct from kinetic energy of the system, for example). This “Internal Energy” is defined by the First Law:.the Change in U is given by Q+W, but the “zero” of U is arbitrary. For example, if you’re concerned with chemical reactions you can define a zero of U for elements in their most stable state under standard conditions (e.g. oxygen as O2, diatomic molecules, at 25 degrees Centigrade and 1 atm pressure—if oxygen were behaving as an ideal gas).But why make things more complicated than necessary? The goal of this discussion is to achieve an intuitive understanding of what thermodynamics is about, not to pass a final exam.

From a series of articles written by: Bob Kurland - a Catholic Scientist

[smoothshift]

Purchased a new 2017 Fiat Abarth and wrote a mini review via /r/cars

Purchased a new 2017 Fiat Abarth and wrote a mini review

http://ift.tt/2AF98Vw

I recently purchased a new car to replace my old 05 Focus ST (which was totaled by a hit and run outside of my house, 2 years ago. With my credit shot, I had to buy a really crappy car for 4 grand and make payments on it, which ended up improving my credit score to a "prime rate" which I ended up selling back to the dealer for 2 grand. I began shopping around and I had 2 cars in mind, this abarth (which I have a love for) and a newer focus ST or a fiesta ST.

After going back and forth between both dealers, I decided to go for the abarth (mostly because the dealer wouldn't let me leave this time and they kept offering me incentives). Granted I really wanted a Focus ST honestly, because this is my "car" and I don't plan on trading it anytime in the future, so if it needs to turn into a people carrier I can do that.

This is also purely a pleasure car since I have a work vehicle

I ended up paying 24900 for the Abarth, (with cloth sport seats, AC/Heater/Heated Seats, No Sunroof, 17 inch sport wheels instead of the 16 inch. This is actually 8 Grand off it's MSRP that the dealer was asking which was 32000. I do know that they do not hold value and like I said above, I'm keeping this car for a while. I do regret though not getting a moonroof or this http://ift.tt/2wXfdY6 colour though, but am pretty happy with my panda abarth.

The Pros

The Looks

This is honestly one of my favourite cars for looks, it really stands out on the roads I feel, I love all the abarth badges everywhere ALTHOUGH I feel like the ones on the steering wheel do not feel premium (it looks like it was screenprinted ontop of a piece of metal and glued on the steering wheel, I would have loved to see a 3d cutout version instead. It honestly looks special and even if some angles it looks fucking ugly, other angles it looks absolutely gorgeous.

Also the steering wheel is really premium, it's nice and thick in the hand and wrapped in a really soft leather, the cloth seats are alright, mine came with the black red combo, which looks great too. I'm not a big fan of the plastic dash although They put some premium leather above the spedometer it just feels sorta out of place. Also the doors are heavier than previous years, and close a lot better, it's actually one thing I noticed immediately compared to my friends 2013 fiat turbo.

The Sound

My brother owned a maserati in the past and when I rev this thing up I literally get an orgasm everytime. There is something magical about this exhaust note. https://twitter.com/MeowjinBoo/status/933243114742886405 Just hearing it makes it feel like it goes faster than it really does, and once in a while you hear a little backfire (and i'm sure some flames are shooting out of the exhaust when it does it), I get a tremondous joy when I drive this car. The sound system that comes stock is pretty good (although there is a BEATS option, I can't imagine it being that much better.

The Drive

Alright this is a good and bad thing. The most annoying thing is when I start the car everytime I have to hit 5 buttons. I turn on the rear defroster, front defroster, turn off the traction control, turn on the sport mode, turn on the fog lights, turn on the seat warmer. I JUST WISH THAT IT WOULD REMEMBER MY SETTINGS FROM WHEN I TURNED OFF THE CAR. Driving this car without the sport mode just feels sorta sluggish and honestly I have no idea why you would do that.

Even when I ratbag this car I get 8L/100km. I fill up with Supreme (94 when I can). I can't imagine the fuel savings but you'd probably get an extra 100km out of a fuel tank with the button turned off, which is a savings of 15 dollars. Plus it drives so fucking dull, you lose the throatty exhaust notes, the car doesn't throttle as fast, although the shifting isn't as janky so maybe its good for carrying lots of people around who are whiny passengers.

The car handles great, sometimes you feel like it can't really go around a corner and the car wants to lift off but it grips, and feels great zooming out of traffic, and I love driving it in Downtown as it's super easy to find parking. The suspension is also lowered and stiffer so expect to the feel the road alot more.

Now there is turbo lag, and most of your power is going to come after the 3k and feels like it flattens out at the 6k range and when the turbo PSI builds up the exhaust gets really loud, people will really know your hitting it hard. I don't really think its a problem but one thing that annoys me is that I can't really start the car in second gear, and I can't tell if I'm a bad driver, but sometimes you hit a right turn and in my old ST you could do it Second, but in this you can't 70% of the time, but when you throw it in first it just jumps forward. Is this an odd complaint? Am I bad driver? I'm not sure.

Also odds are this car won't break 20k km after 4 years. Also the insurance is around 155 a month for full coverage for me from ICBC.

Chryslers LED Speedo thing

It shows you the amount of G's. Thats fucking awesome.

The Cons

Obvious Stuff

First of all even though you can sit 4, your not going to be super comfortable int he back, granted I've had 4 people in there without a real issue, everyone likes to make stupid remarks about it being a clown car. You do have a little room in the hatch for some groceries too and the seats do fold down, but again you bought this because its a pleasure car and nothing else.

Resale Value

YOU WILL LOSE LOTS OF MONEY WITH THIS CAR NO MATTER WHAT. FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND THE POP'S AND THE BASE FIATS ARE NOTORIOUS FOR BEING UNRELIABLE DUE TO EXTREMLY CHEAP PARTS, THE ABARTH/TURBO HAS A DIFFERENT ENGINE, Different fuel pump, different gear box, different everything. But it probably didn't help the resale, ontop of the fact that in North America people do like their bigger cars.

Also my rear lights are fogging up, and I have to take this to the dealer already for them to deal with it.

Driving Position

Honestly I'm use to it by now, but I have no idea why I can't find a super comfortable driving position. The pedals are too close together, I can't get the steering wheel on the right angle, and I cant get my seat on the right angle. I'm also 6"1, 230 pounds with a really wide and muscular frame (although I am a fatty right now) but even at my slimmest, I can't imagine finding a decent driving position. It might get annoying on a very long drive, although the seat feels lower than my friends turbo, I feel like it's too high still.

The Car Buying Experience

Man, I am not a fan of the dealerships here in Vancouver. Infact if I were to buy another car in the future I'd probably go used with saved money/bank loan. My only other car buying experience is when I purchased an 08 Acura TL and had a no nonsense car buying experience (probably due to the financial crisis at the time) and ended up making 8 grand at the end of my lease.

Now this dealership, wouldn't let me leave (claiming that if I slept on it I'd lose the financing which honestly wasn't a big deal to me, I didn't really need a car), when they told me the price per payment they included a 1500 dollar extended warranty that was essentially 6 oil changes and tire rotations and a detailing. I signed it but according to http://ift.tt/2zMVEXV I can actually get it refunded, which I am doing this weekend.

But seriously I calculated the cost, and how in the world is 6 fucking oil changes costing me 250 dollars each? They also told me if I wanted the "lifetime" engine warranty that I would have to go to their dealer to get all my oil changes done. Also they didn't detail the car properly, left some stickers on the pedals, and the wrap that was on it, still has some residue. I'm taking it in for a second detailing.

Chryslers weird touch screen ugly thing

http://ift.tt/2Ac0kWh

Just look at it. Seriously, it does everything well, but I just think it's so ugly and out of place.

TL;DR

I LOVE MY UGLY GOOD LOOKING CAR BUT HATE THE DEALER AND HATE THE DRIVING POSITION.

Also I plan on keeping this car as my pleasure car and intend to keep it in very good condition. I think it will age very well and it will make people all gitty if they see one 20 years down the road.

[edwinymxl572-blog]

EXPRESS CAR WASH - An Overview

How to Wash a Car Wash Can be the automobile REALLY clean? Truly? There are still a lot of contaminants from your paint when you've not taken care of it using a clay bar, also by waxing, so you are just sealing them in, making sure sunlight really wears to them really properly, and doing long-term damage for a paint. Plus so they might pull it out from there and also put a few wax on, which is normally a terrible idea as of that aspect for many factors... This system... it's a automatic item. They'll place your car in neutral, and the track system grabs on into it, takes above... and begins yanking your automobile through this lengthy tunnel. 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[miloepeh146-blog]

Looking for Basic Solutions For Car Valet Dublin? Your Search Is Over!

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As soon as you know more concerning this stuff (also I Will be submitting a number of articles managing the different levels of service along with also their process, explaining lots about design and paint correction, then which sort of thing... so stay tuned) it should really be enough to make you really squirm next occasion you find some "Car Wash" area attempt to mesmerize you onto a "Premium depth Service" once you recognize what it's you are getting. Thus, what I just described is the process you'll run into at most of your commercial car washes. Bad enough, proper? It gets even worse... Your enormous industrial-like car washes are... well, they are like an assembly point in the place where they ship them through a automated platform, very straightforward process... In the event you've obtained a nicer car or truck, some thing that's pricy, or some classic or, whatever, you actually want to take into consideration the long term maintenance, and also know exactly the difference between the different levels of service, and also the way that plays in long term together with preserving and boosting your auto's value and it has beauty... And they might pull it out from there and put a few wax on, that will be typically a lousy idea at this point for many causes... This strategy... it is a automatic item. They'll place your vehicle in neutral, and the trail system captures on into it, takes more than... and commences yanking your automobile via this long tunnel. They then pull them around to the next stage where a crew will probably spray them off, plus they might add some cleansers (that are much too robust) into your tires or wheels... usually they have a really strong de-greaser, or even some really powerful insect remover, some thing similar to that, and after that they pressure wash off the vehicle really quickly and simply deliver it via, at which they truly are usually put on a trail system...

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Details, Fiction and Car Wash Dublin

Just How to Clean a Carwash The auto clean is great for some Kia... not so much for your Porsche, or Jag, or Bentley, or Rolls... Therefore yeah, the auto clean, and that is simply what I'd call "Level 1" is nice for lots of people. Perhaps not attempting to put them down here. They get dirt off cars, can make them smell good for just a while. Plus they also give a whole lot of occupations for top school children. There is that. And I suppose that is clearly a superior issue. Nothing against the automobile clean. I mean, look, if you have an old car that isn't worth all that much, just some beater you use to get around town, yeah, take it. I'm not trying to place down them. They really do their own thing, and there's value inside it. It really is WAY much better than simply letting dirt and contaminants continue to collect rather than clean it at all... that's the hardest thing you can really do. And that is fine for a lot of people. But this article series is about... trying to coach you a bit about this all, show the difference, so that after you make a decision regarding which amount you're going to decide on to your longterm care and care for the auto, it truly is an INFORMED selection... that you have the truth about exactly what you are working with... how exactly it matches with each other. See, you REALLY enter problems when somebody places a buffer onto it who will not know what they are carrying out (and if they're buffing, or "sharpening" your vehicle, since they call it, even without having completed a clay bar treatment method to eliminate the contaminants at the paint, '' I promise you they don't really know what they're doing) as what happens at this time is your machine carries all those contaminants and swirls them around and grinds them in your paint. The buffing pad becomes the equivalent of sandpaper, and you can really damage a paint job here. Obviously, only that sort of item is completed at a lot of those large. To start out, they will pull up to vacuum space, where, just how long you get your auto vacuumed out guy you purchase, and what kind of feeling he is in that day. Let us only tell the facts about any of it here. You have yourself a good thing. Other occasions you've accepted your car. Now you know just what I'm speaking about here. Ok, anyhow in order the opposite end of this tube, typically there'll be a guy that jumps in it, who is going to make a fast pass in the console, then you'll have guys who will wipe-down your interior windows pretty fast, and also the guy that jumps on your entrance driver's seat, he'll wipe off your dash, your front console, your window, then that kind of thing... Can be the car or truck REALLY wash? Genuinely? There are still plenty of contaminants on your paint when you haven't handled it using a clay bar, also from waxing, so you are just putting them in, making sure sunlight really wears to them extremely properly, and also doing lasting damage for your paint. Alright, let Us Discuss Carwashes. Therefore it gets via the tunnel, at which it gets beat up using these bits that are supposed to wash it... which works by rotating at high rates, and ostensibly slapping your car or truck an entire lot since they come near. Therefore your car is basically caught at the front end, dragged via this tube where it gets slapped across a couple (likely wondering what it'd that would force you to be be so mad at it that you'd penalize it such a way. I am talking about, consider it... for your requirements, you are washing your own vehicle, attempting to wash it up, make it look pretty. To your car, you are pretty much delivering it in there for spanked, beat up, abused... it'd turn out a little bit skinnier, what enters to wash--in the event that you really do not understand CLEAN--however that I imagine you most likely hurt its emotions decent...) From the tube, it gets sprayed using a bunch of recycled drinking water out of all the other vehicles, every one of the contaminants, so that have been completely via there, even a sometimes they're struck by brush, and some times they've been touchless... in any event it's the same. They're blasted or they're hit with a number of these issues that are quite demanding, as it truly is coming out of the conclusion. Instead of just keeping your car dirty all the moment, for sure... but truly not so best for the long-term overall health of your paint occupation. But what I'm doing here within this series of content is moving through the different levels of care and care for your vehicle, revealing the gap between the degrees which, of course, none of them are going to tell you, when they even KNOW it, mainly because, effectively, it isn't too great because of their business to acknowledge lots with this stuff to youpersonally. They might give you by adding grooming for the tires, even matters like that. So that is about that... that's your standard vehicle wash... There usually are 3 or four guys there. 1 guy gets the back driver's window, the other man has got the 2 on the opposing hand, plus so they'll shut the automobile down quite quickly since it's coming out of the close of the tunnel and there's a few atmosphere blowing there too that helps out that process. The front end motorist pulls it out, a few guys come out, then wipe down the door jambs, possibly end drying off it whether that is needed by it. So it's bad enough, with the waxing, when it's merely a hand application (you understand, the squirt on just a tiny pad, then run the pad within the vehicle, wait for a moment or 2, then wipe if off type of thing.) And what kind of wax would be they using? What's inside? What does it do? What exactly does it imply? Some matters to think about. By how, would you think that this passes for "top quality" remedy at most regions? Something to consider. When you realize more concerning this stuff (also I Will be posting many articles dealing with the various degrees of service and their process, explaining a lot about design and paint correction, then that type of item... so stay tuned) it needs to really be enough to create you really squirm next occasion you find some "Car Wash" position try to upsell you on the "Premium depth Service" whenever you understand that which it's you are becoming. Thus, what I described is the process you'll run into at majority of your commercial car washes. Bad enough, proper? It becomes worse... Your big industrial-like carwashes are... well, they are like an assembly line where they send them via a automatic machine, quite simple course of action... If you have acquired a nicer vehicle, some thing that's pricy, or even a classic or, anything, you actually need to consider the longterm maintenance, and also know precisely the difference between the different levels of service, and the way that plays in longterm together with preserving and boosting your vehicle's value and it's beauty... And they may possibly pull it out of there and also put a few wax on, that will EXPRESSCARWASH.IE be normally a terrible idea at that aspect for a number of factors... This strategy... it really is a automated item. They'll https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/?search=car valeting put your car in neutral, and also the monitor system captures on into it, takes over... and starts yanking your automobile through this very long tunnel. Then they pull them around into the next stage where a crew will probably spray off them, and so they might add some cleaners (which can be far too robust) into your wheels or tires... commonly they have a really strong degreaser, or some really powerful insect remover, and something similar to this, and then they stress scrub the vehicle off really quickly and just deliver it via, at which they truly are usually placed on a track platform...