#imagine rwby

[notmaplemable]

Blake: *Walks into Beacon's lost and found*

Secretary: Hello, can I help you?

Blake: I'm looking for my copy of L- *Notices the Jaune body pillow propped up amongst the lost items*

Secretary: Noticed the body pillow? Yeah, someone must've ordered it. There's a shop in the city that makes them.

Blake: ...Why?

Secretary: Because people pay for it I guess. Though really the better question is why the groin area is so worn out on this one.

Blake: ...

(Who do you think is the true owner?)

[littlelewdmable]

Jaune: Sometimes I kind of wonder what getting a blowjob would be like.

Jaune: ...

Jaune: No I don't want one right- why are you crawling under the lunch ta-

*ziiiiiiiip*

(Imagine your Jaune ship)

[sirazaroff]

We are SO fuckin back

Original by @/soup-erb

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Jaune: *Beat up and tied to a chair* Gentlemen, Gentlemen! Let's be Civil about this. Let's make a deal!

Jaune: You Surrender, and you don't die. How does That sound?

Branwen Tribe: And how do you intend to kill us?

Jaune: Oh no, I won't kill you. But My spouse can! Say Hi Honey!

*Someone drops behind the crowd*

[drenosa]

Jaune: No, I'm not joking, this would be how I want to go out.

Jaune: Now... gimme those cheeks.

[rwac96]

Flexibility (WhiteKnight Shitpost)

Jaune: *eating chili fries* "Hey, Weiss, how flexible are ya this weekend?"

Weiss: *sultry* "Flexible, you say~?"

*Weiss lifts up her right leg, ballerina style; which made the swordsman's cheeks crimson*

Jaune: *red-faced* "A-Availability! How available are ya?!"

Weiss: *blinks* "Oh, one trip of Festivus Shopping, but I'm free overall."

Jaune: *quickly nods his head* "Okay, gotcha." *stays silent momentarily* "You can stop doing that now."

Weiss: "Only when you stop staring, Jaune~."

Jaune: *clears his throat* "Admittedly, you are flexible."

[dragon-razor-writings]

Mama Arc: *dressed in full crusader gear, wielding a Charge Blade, and looking like she's about to burn someone alive, with Powerwolf playing from... somewhere*

S/O, watching this: "...So, I have to fight her-"

Jaune, also watching his mother sharpening her weapon: "For her approval, yes."

Papa Arc: "Alright, EMS is now on standby."

S/O: "...Say, you have any advice for me?"

Papa Arc: "Make peace with whatever god you believe in."

[howlingday]

Jaune: Hey! Just because you're bigger than me doesn't mean you can beat me in a fight!

Jaune: What are you gonna do?! Pick me up and throw me to the ground?

Jaune: You gonna pin me there so I can't move, smothering me with your huge legs?

Jaune: You gonna look deep into my eyes and gently bite my ear?

Jaune: PROVE IT, YOU COWARD!

[missnotstarry]

back in the years of signal academy....

[notmaplemable]

Dog!Faunus Jaune: I have just met you and I love you.

Imagine your JauneOTP

[littlelewdmable]

Goodwitch: Are you two out of your horny little adolescent minds!?

Goodwitch: How could you possibly think this is an appropriate place to do... that!?

(Insert your ship here)

[raccrows]

vacuo sun 😵‍💫

[razorblade180]

Crazy Night

Ruby:*picks up scroll* Go for broke? This is Ruby speak-

Yang:Pick us up.

Ruby:….Hm?

Yang:.You have to pick us up from the club. Please make sure you bring the tow hitch and straps for bumblebee.

Ruby:Geez, all of you are drunk.

Yang:No. but uuuhh-

xxxxxx

Ruby:WHY ARE YOU ALL BRUISED!?

Blake:Ask Weiss.

Weiss:*over Jaune’s shoulder* I am not in the mood.

Jaune:So umm everything was fine until-

Weiss:Until that bitch kept fucking pushing me and talking shit! Let me back in!

Bouncer:No!

Yang:*snickers* So, things were fine. The vibes were good. Jaune was killing it on the dance floor a little too well and some gals noticed…

Ruby:Weiss-

Weiss:I do not care if some rando gets ideas about Jaune. I did not actively assault anyone.

Blake:First of all, ya did. Second, Weiss was on good behavior actually. Some girl started flirting with Jaune and he politely declined the advances.

Jaune:Girls number two shows up; at this point I’m actively dancing with Weiss. Girl number two is tipsy and friends with girl number one.

Yang:Ruby when I tell you she was on this man! Budged Weiss out of the way and everything! To give me credit, all Weiss said at first was “Excuse me!?”

Ruby:At first?

Yang:Oh we will get to the colorful language in a minute. Jaune gets the girl dancing off of him to help Weiss. In the most annoying voice ever, the girl goes-

Weiss: “Oh sorry! Is that like…your girlfriend or something?” I don’t have to be his girlfriend for what she did to be shitty!

Ruby:Oh I would’ve swung instantly. Also, where’s Nora and Ren?

Jaune:We’ll get back to that.

Yang:I start making my way over a little because alcohol and anger brings out feelings and I just want good vibes. That’s when girl number one walks back over!

Blake:To be fair, I think she thought you were about to hit her friend. Not that she could stop you, but solidarity and all.

Ruby:What were you doing?

Blake:Watching the drinks. By the way, Weiss had three shots at this point.

Ruby:Weiss! You’re the size of one shot!

Weiss:I am fine! Plus you think I’m dancing in a club fully sober!? I had eaten beforehand and was with Jaune perfectly fine.

Yang:(You were using him like a pole.)

Jaune:*red* Anyways, the girls start getting a little more…bratty. Mainly towards Weiss and continuing to wink at me.

Weiss:They touching your chest and making you uncomfortable! Do not under sell that!

Yang:Was swatted the second girl’s hand away and said “take a hint, you bitch.” That’s when things got a little…dicey.

Ruby:Please don’t say it.

Blake:So uhhh clubs are loud and dark. Lots of people; pretty hard to look at completely. However, I started making my way over the moment I heard low growling.

Yang:And the rest of us quickly noticed fangs and a poodle tail.

Ruby:Weeeeeiiiisssss!

Weiss:Don’t call my name like I’m the problem!

Yang:The real nail in the coffin was the girl saying “What? He’s single. You scared your little boy toy wants a real woman?”

Weiss and Jaune:…..

Ruby:Oh.

Yang:*snickers*

Ruby:Why are you laughing!?

Yang:Because you need to understand Ruby. I fucking blinked, and everything changed. Our loving Weiss is a bad ass with years of combat training. I didn’t see any of that tonight. Tonight I remembered Weiss and a literal “rich bitch” and I wasn’t prepared! Beacon training was gone! She yanked this girl by the hair and was hammer fisting her face before I could process anything!

Weiss:*covering face*

Blake:And listen, most people might course correct learning they’re fighting a Faunus, but like Yang said, alcohol and anger brings out nasty feelings. Jaune and Yang are struggling to get Weiss away from that girl while I’m blocking the first one and alll I hear behind me is-

Bouncer: “Let me go. I’m gonna put this tramp in a kennel.”

Ruby:WHAT!?

Weiss:…

Blake:I’m gonna be honest, I kinda wanted to laugh because all I could think was “Oh my god, Weiss is actually fucking pissed! It’s freshman year Weiss!”

Weiss:I was not this bad freshman year!

Blake:I know! That’s what made this so crazy! I don’t believe in ghosts but your ancestors whispered in your ear for that level of hate. Anyway, bouncer showed up and now we’re here.

Ruby:What happened to the other two girls?

Bouncer:Didn’t start the fight. Get to stay in.

Ruby:….May I please enter this lovely esta-

Bouncer:No.

Ruby:Sorry yall. I tried. Yang, where’s your motorcycle?

Yang:Conveniently, the air has been let out of the tires when the club owner and others threatened legal actions. *red eyes* Fortunately for them, I choose to be responsible and call my sister so everyone gets home, instead of causing trouble.

Ruby:And dad would be proud. Alright, everyone into the convertible. Also, once again, where is-

Nora:Engine. Start. Now!

Ruby dashed by everyone and put them in them in back of the car then super sped bumblebee over to the tow hitch while Ren and Nora hopped in the front. As Ruby drove away quickly. Weiss leaned over the outside out of fear of puking, then felt a sense of ease as Jaune rubbed her back with his semblance activated.

Jaune:Thanks for standing up for me.

Weiss:I was more made than virtuous.

Jaune:Next time, you can just lie and say we’re dating. The outcome has to be better than this.

Weiss:*red*…Sure thing.

Yang:*mumbles* Or they can make it the truth.

Blake:We can’t judge them…

Ruby:So, I take it you got revenge?

Ren:It’s going to suck when they leave and wonder why their tires are flat.

Nora:I’m sure someone helpful has tire pump. Still, that doesn’t do much for a fried battery.

Ruby:What did we all learn today?

WBYJRN:Nothing. Fuck those girls.

Ruby:…Well as long as you all are in an agreement. Let tonight end with good music! Weiss, your payment is a song!

Weiss:Zzzz

Ruby:Yeah, definitely too many shots.

Weiss:Zzzz He’s mine~ Zzzz

Everyone:*red*….

Ruby:……*turns on radio*

[drenosa]

Jaune: I once told my dad, as a joke, that I got an imaginary girlfriend.

Jaune: His response was "You know, you could do better."

Jaune: Not really sure what to make of that I said "Thanks, dad".

Jaune: He shook his head at that telling me that he was "Talking to my girlfriend".

Jaune: So yeah, I'm doing fine. How 'bout you?

[rwac96]

Hoodie Thief (WhiteKnight)

Jaune: *wearing an orange shirt* "Dammit, where's my hoodie?!" *shifts his head left to right*

Ruby: "I think I saw Weiss with it last."

Jaune: "WEISS! Have you seen my hoodie?!"

*Weiss wore Jaune's hoodie, not looking up from looking over her grandfather's journals*

Weiss: *reading* "I threw it out."

Ruby: "...You look rather comfy."

Weiss: *still reading* "Hush!"

Jaune: *annoyed* "You 'threw out' the last five ones!"

[epic-arc]

''Come to daddy''

Jaune would be playing with his daughter until he noticed that she would be taking her first steps towards him. He would have a smile on his face and speak in an excited tone.

Jaune: That's it darling! Come for daddy

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