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hotch-stufff · 3 years ago

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Surprise, Surprise

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x F!reader

Warnings!: there are no warnings, im not telling you a single thing. It's a surprise. Just read and find out ;)

Also, as much as I love him, Jack does not exist in this story, wasn't really sure how to write him in.

Author's Note: I'm so sorry that I haven't written in a while, I have had no inspiration and my bf dumped me so... ya'know that was nice. Anyways, finally getting some inspo, hopefully I will be writing more. Hope you guys enjoy this one :) Also, the mood board is mine, but the images are all from pintrest.

Word count: 1.4 k words

This is an emotional roller coaster

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You couldn't breathe.

You couldn't move, or speak.

Your knees gave out as you fell to the floor, sobs racking your body.

You felt arms wrap around you, but it didn't help. You were suffocating. He was your air, and he had just been ripped from your lungs.

He was gone, dead.

Your husband.

The love of your life.

Aaron Hotchner was dead

* * *

You don't remember anything after the doctor uttered those words. You don't remember Rossi picking you up and holding you. You don't remember the sad glances, the tears shed by your teammates. You don't remember the car ride to your now empty shared apartment. You don't remember lying down and sobbing into the pillow for hours.

No, you only remember the pain. The unbearable pain of loss.

He was gone. Really gone.

You cried and cried for hours on end. Until you had no tears left to shed.

Then you just lied there, staring at the wall, gripping his favorite shirt in your arms, remembering every little moment with him.

And it hurt like hell just thinking of everything you did with him. The day you met. Your first kiss, your first date. The day he proposed. Your wedding. Every little thing.

And you wouldn't be able to do anything else. You wouldn't have kids with him. You guys had just talked about having a baby just the other day. He wanted one so bad.

You shouldn't have waited.

Because now, now he was gone.

* * *

The next few days were a blur. You found yourself with home-cooked meals overflowing your fridge. A team member at your house every night. But it was all a blur.

All meaningless without Aaron.

The funeral was coming up. You didn't make any arrangements, you asked Rossi if he could handle it and he quickly agreed.

He had taken care of finding the casket, picking a place, and finding a burial site. Everything.

The only thing you had asked for was a closed casket.

You couldn't handle looking at him.

* * *

On the day of the funeral, the girls all came over to help you get ready.

"Alright y/n, do you have a dress?" Penny asked as she walked out of kitchen.

"In the closet." You croaked. Your voice being hoarse from the crying and lack of speaking for the past two weeks.

"Okay I'll grab that, and shoes. Jj is going to make you breakfast and Em is going to do your hair okay?" You gave her a sad smile and a small okay.

Penny quickly walked back your hallway as Em began pulling your hair back in a low ponytail. You felt the tears begin slipping down your face once again.

Jj saw as she walked back in the room with a bagel and coffee.

"Oh sweetheart." And the dam broke. They comforted you the best they could. But they couldn't even imagine what you were going through, because he was gone.

* * *

The funeral was a blur. It seemed like everything was these days.

It was a beautiful service. You don't remember much. Lots of hugs and 'sorry for your loss's.

It had gone quickly, and soon you found yourself in Rossi's living room. Everyone but the team had left, you sat alone. The rest were in the kitchen cleaning up.

You didn't move from your spot, sipping your wine.

Everyone walked in, and found spots around you.

It was silent. Not a single word was spoken.

"I'm taking a leave of absence." You spoke.

6 pairs of eyes shot to you, but they couldn't say they were surprised.

"It's just too much. I'm not ready to come back." Your voice was quiet. Rossi was the first to say anything.

"Take all the time you need."

* * *

And you did. You spent about 3 months in that apartment, alone and sad and heartbroken.

But you realized that Aaron would never want you to live like this. And you really needed to be able to pay the bills.

So after those 3 months, you gave Rossi a call. He had become until chief since you had left, and he instantly accepted you back to the team.

You were slowly getting better.

Each passing case a distraction.

Each one fixing you just a bit more.

Each one giving your life a purpose, a meaning again.

And you felt better. You stopped crying yourself to sleep. You stopped sitting in silence for hours on end. You stopped crying every time you thought about him.

But you still visited him every week. You still thought about him everyday. You still wore your wedding rings, refusing to take them off.

But you were better.

* * *

A few more months went by and you started going out with the team again. You spent more time with them. Almost every weekend. And you were somewhat okay.

And it wasn't until about 8 months after his death did your world come to another crashing halt.

You had been called in to the BAU, not entirely sure why, but you came in none the less.

You figured it was a case, but Jj hadn't specified on the phone, which was strange.

You had walked up to the conference room, and were surprised to see the whole team sitting there ready to go.

"Hey guys, do we have a case?" You asked, but Jj sent you a sad look causing you to grow worried.

"Y/n, you should sit down for this." You had no idea what was going on. What on earth was happening. "Peter Raymond recently resurfaced, and was taken into custody this morning about an hour ago. He resisted arrest and pulled a gun on an officer. He was shot and killed." Your heart hammered in your chest. He was gone. The bastard who killed your husband was gone. Rossi stood walking towards Jj.

A pit grew in your stomach, there was more, something you didn't know.

"8 months ago I made a decision that greatly affected this team. Aaron Hotchner received substantial injuries from the wounds he endured, but his surgery was a success and he was airlifted to an unknown location. His identity was changed in order to keep him safe. But he is alive."

You couldn't believe your ears. He was alive. Alive?

Your eyes shot to the door and there he stood.

Aaron Hotchner.

You couldn't breathe.

You couldn't move or speak.

He was alive, you should be ecstatic.

But you only felt anger.

Your eyes shot to Rossi.

"How dare you." You whispered out, surprising the team. You weren't an angry person, you never yelled at your teammates. But you, you were seething. "How could you do that. You knew he was alive and yet you let me suffer. You watched as I cried day and night. You watched as I let myself go, as I lost myself." You shook your head in anger.

Aaron stepped forward reaching out for you, but you shook your head.

"Dont touch me. Don't fucking touch me." You felt the tears fall down your face. Again. "You left me. You're dead. You're gone. Y-you left." You were shaking and crying and once again Aaron reached out for you, but this time you let him.

He brought you into a crushing hug, holding you like you had begged to be held for months.

He was here, really here. You could smell and feel and see him. He was really here.

"Y-you bastard. You left me." You whispered desperately as you cried into his shirt.

The team was quick to disperse. They too were mad at Rossi, and they wanted to reunite with Hotch. But they left you be, at least for now.

Aaron pulled back slightly, looking down at you.

"Sweetheart I'm so sorry. I wish I didn't have to. But he would have killed you and then he would have killed me." He had tears running down his face as well now. But you were so angry at him.

You pushed him away.

"I could have gone with you Aaron. You could have gone into witsec. You didn't need to fake your fucking death Aaron!" You yelled at him. you couldn't even believe you were eating this conversation.

"Y/n please, I'm so sorry." You were mad yeah, but you were so overwhelmingly relieved that it overpowered your anger. "I missed you sweetheart." He whispered out and you broke just a little bit more.

"You bastard. Y-you stupid man." You pulled him back to you and slammed your lips together. "You stupid, stupid man." You gasped out between kisses.

"I know, I'm so sorry. I love you." He stated after you pulled away.

"I-I love you too." You were sobbing at this point.. "Don't ever do that to me again." He nodded, leaning in to kiss you again.

And you kissed your husband.

Because he wasn't gone.

He was right here.

And god did it feel amazing to have him back

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Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! Currently I'm only taking requests from my prompt list, which is right here! School is starting up soon though, so i may not be writing very often, but i will definitely try! Anyways, if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

#aaron hotchner x reader #imagine #angst #fluff #reader insert #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #hotch imagine #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotch imagine

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forever-rogue · 3 years ago

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Feels Like Home

Summary | Bucky just seems a little out of sorts lately, so you decide to do something special for him.

Pairing | Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2k

Warnings | none

Masterlists | Bucky, Main

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Bucky had been different lately. Not bad or mean or anything just...different. Off.

No matter how hard you tried to figure it out, you just couldn’t. That left you with the only logical conclusion you could think of.

“Buck?” you were sitting at the kitchen table, silently eating dinner as you sat across the table from each other. About halfway through your meal, you’d lost your appetite and set your fork down before pushing your plate away. That garnered his attention as he turned to look at you with a weak little ghost of a smile. You couldn’t take this anymore so you just decided to go ahead and ask, “are you upset with me?”

“What?” he set his own fork down as his brows narrowed and he gave you a quizzical expression, “what are you talking about, Bub? W-where did you get that idea?”

“Have you really not noticed?” you asked softly as he leaned closer. You could see that there were darker than normal circles under his eyes, and he just looked...tired. Exhausted even. He shook his head slowly as you sighed lightly, “you’ve been different. We’ve been different. Did I...did I do something? Are you going to break up with me?”

“I...no - never. I would never break up with you, Bub,” he insisted, wondering where all of this suddenly came from. You just shrugged lightly as tears pricked at the back of your eyes and you focused on your plate, “I love you, you must know that.”

“Then why have you been pushing me away?” your voice was small and shaking as a single tear rolled down your cheek. Bucky made a small sound in the back of his throat as you swiped at the wetness before looking back up to meet his eyes, “the past couple of weeks, I just feel like you’ve been shutting me out. If I did something, please just tell me. I just want you to be okay - for us to be okay.”

“Bub,” he slowly stood up and walked to your side of the table before sinking down on his knees, turning your chair towards him with no effort. He reached for your hands and gently took them in his, his larger ones easily engulfing yours. You held back a sniffle as you met those ocean eyes you loved so much, “I’m not upset with you, or anything. I’m sorry, so sorry if you think that’s what’s going on. I love you a little more every day - this is...it’s just been rough lately.”

“Is everything okay? Are you alright, Bucky?” you dropped one of his hands and brought yours to his face, gently stroking his cheek. He closed his eyes and keened lightly into your touch, “what’s going on?”

“I just...this feels so silly,” he admitted softly, “but sometimes I’m just reminded by how out of place I am. I’m a hundred and six-year-old man in a modern world. It feels...odd sometimes.”

“Oh Bucky,” you whispered softly. You couldn’t lie and say you understood what he was going through or feeling, but you’d always be there for him. That much you did know, and he knew it too, even if there were times that were harder, “I’m sorry, my love. I know it must be hard sometimes, I can’t even imagine, but I’m always here for you. You can tell me anything, even the most mundane thing. But you do belong here - you belong here with me, and Sam, and Sarah, and everyone else. You’re right where you’re supposed to be, even if it doesn’t feel like it. If there’s anything I can do to help, whatever it is, just tell me, okay?”

“Yes,” he whispered softly, giving you a gentle nod before he took your hand and pressed a kiss to your palm, “I love you. I’m sorry I’ve made you think anything but. It’s not you at all...just me.”

“Hey,” you put your hand under his chin and tilted his face up towards yours, “I love you, James. Always.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was an interesting thing to be with Bucky. He was a man that, if you didn’t know any better, was very much a man of the times. He dressed, acted, and felt the part. But underneath it all, you knew there were times when he was still left in amazement or awe. You’d say something and he would look at you with that expression.

But now that you knew better, there were times when you could see something flicker across his face. There were times when you could sense that he was missing something. Even if he didn’t mention anything.

So when you saw something interesting cross your social media feeds that piqued your interest, you came up with a plan. You hoped he would like it - it wouldn’t be much, but you hoped it would be good enough either way. Maybe a little surprise for your lover was a little push in the right direction to get his mood up a little bit.

Whatever happened, you were willing to try. Anything to put a smile back on his sweet face.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The whole apartment smelled of delicious cooking; you’d been hard at work for the last several hours, attempting to perfect this evening’s meal and dessert for him. You weren’t a huge natural when it came to the kitchen, but you’d watched enough TikToks on how to make meals you knew were a part of his childhood and practically committed them to memory.

You’d turned on some light jazz that you knew he’d like - and you did as well - swaying slightly to the music as you worked on finishing everything up. Everything did look good, and you hoped that he would like it. If nothing else, you knew he’d appreciate the effort. You could do something as simple as pour him a cup of coffee in the morning and he’d be over the moon. The man really did love you more than you thought was ever possible. For once you wanted to turn the tables around and make him feel as special as he always made you feel.

“Bub?” Bucky’s soft voice surprised you so much that you almost jumped out of your skin. You were putting together a salad and had been so focused on chopping and singing quietly along to the music that you hadn’t even heard him come in. You turned around and gave him a giant smile before almost running over to him, “what’s all this? Smells good.”

“James,” you whispered softly before gently touching his face and carding your hand through his hair, “you’re home just in time. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he promised softly, leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, “what’s going on?”

“It’s just...it feels silly now, so don’t laugh,” you insisted as he raised an eyebrow at you, “I wanted to do something special for you.”

“For me?” he asked softly, immediately overwhelmed by the idea that you went through any trouble for him. You bit your lip and shyly nodded, “what for?”

“I just...you mentioned you’ve been having a bit of a hard time lately and I wanted to do something special for you to maybe make it a little better,” you admitted, as you took his hand and pulled him further into the kitchen, “now, don’t get too excited because it’s nothing super special but I hope you’ll like it.”

“You gonna tell me what it is, Bub, or am I going to have to guess?” he asked softly as you realized you hadn’t exactly told him what was going on. You pointed to the various dishes on the counter and food still on the stove that was warm and ready. Bucky looked around and inhaled the familiar smell of the foods he had grown up with back during his childhood. A lump welled up in his throat as his heart felt like it was about. You were beaming at him, waving your hands in a small ‘ta-da’ motion, “you did all this for me?”

“I did,” you admitted, “hopefully the recipes are somewhat real and the food somewhat good? There were a few things that left me wondering what the hell you guys were eating back then! But...I just wanted to do something to make you feel a little more, at home? I dunno. Like I said, it’s not much, but it’s a little something.”

“I love it,” he admitted softly as he turned to you, his blue eyes soft, “I love you. This is...this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.”

“Wow,” you whispered as he pulled you into his arms, “that’s saying a lot for a man that’s been through hell and back multiple times. You sure about that, James?”

“I am,” and then he kissed you. Softly and slowly, wrapping his arms around your body as he held as tightly as possible in his arms. You threw your arms around his neck as you held him back, “no one has ever seen me like you do, has treated me like you. You are everything. I love you so much. I’m sorry I ever made you doubt for even a second.”

“I love you too, James,” you whispered as you pulled back and cradled his face in your hands, “so much more than you’ll ever know. I would do anything just to see that sweet smile back on your face. Even if it’s something little like this.”

“Little?” he asked, looking around at the mountain of food and dishes you’d prepared, “by the looks of it, this took you some time!”

“Okay...maybe most of the day,” you admitted, “but it was worth it. You are worth it, my love.”

“As much as I want to eat of all this, will you do me a favor first?” he asked softly, taking a step back and admiring you. It was funny, how he still managed to make you feel this shy and nervous, even after being together for years.

“Anything.”

“Dance with me?” he asked as you realized you still had the music playing in the background. You laughed lightly but nodded, taking his outstretched hand and letting him take the lead. It was quiet for a while, the only sound was the gentle music and the soft whispers of adoration you exchanged, “I love you, Bub.”

“I love you, James.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Marvel Taglist (add yourself to a taglist here!)(strike-through means I couldn’t tag you - please check your settings!)

@qhbr2013 @greeneyedblondie44 @april-showers-and-flowers @softboiipascal @im-an-adult-ish @patzammit @niki-xie @xxlovingfandomsxx @startrekkingaroundasgard @welcometothepedroverse @actual-spawn-of-satan @punkerthanpascal @lazybeeches @someday-when-you-leave-me @justgivemethekeys @salome-c @rosiefridayrogersunday @neptunesglow @artsymaddie @haildoodles @amneris21 @star017 @irepostthingsiwanttoseelater @its–fandom–darling @ayamenimthiriel @alyispunk @djarinbarnes @edencherries @ashamed23 @sunsetskywalkerr @nikkixostan @spookispunk @cable-kenobi @ironicfoxes @cc13723things @gooddaykate @natthebattygeologist @sociallyantisocialbutterfly @n3ssm0nique @daughterofthenight117 @riddikulus-obsessions @imaginelover88 @saint-bvcky @sleep-tight1 @missstef23 @moonlacebeam @asylummara @wakandabiitch2 @hoodedbirdie @mysweetlittledesire @reallyloudstarlight @vintagepigeon @froggyy06 @fleurydelacoury @veil-of-time @queenbeean @deedepee @kenzieam @luxeavenger @dobbyjen @bbl32 @frickin-bats @caprisunsister @spacedadmando @bucks-bunny @starlightcrystalline

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you

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sunnysidevans · 4 years ago

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 | 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 - 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐅𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

Summary: Everyone goes through stages in life, meeting new people, falling in love, getting married , having children. Some people think it won’t happen to them but maybe fate hadn’t lead you in the right direction.

Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST , TW: slight sexual harassment , fighting , language , 18+ reccomended

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

PREVIOUS STAGE | THE STAGES MASTERLIST

READERS POINT OF VIEW

THREE MONTHS AFTER FIRST DATE

The sound of your alarm woke you up on the cold Monday morning. You groaned as you rolled over and hit the off button on the top, with a sigh you sat up, rubbing your eyes with a yawn, as you were waking up you grabbed your phone from the charger on the bedside table, with a smile you opened the text from Chris “CHRIS: Good morning beautiful! I hope you have a great day today, call me maybe at lunch time?” you smiled as you read the text and sent him a quick reply which was soon interrupted by Zeus, ready for his morning run around the yard. After having a cup of coffee and making your way out of the shower and many clothes tossed to the side, you were finally ready to leave for the day. Making your way out the house you made sure to give Zeus a kiss to the head and a scratch behind the ears and making sure all toys were out from under any furniture, “okay buddy, I love you. Maybe you can have your buddy over later, maybeeee” you said with a smile as you shut the door behind you and make your way to your vehicle to start the dreaded Monday morning.

Driving into work you danced in your seat to the song playing on the radio, humming along softly you pulled into the parking garage attached to the office, being met with Casey. “You made it today” he smirked as he watched you get out of the vehicle, you turned to face him after fixing your skirt, tilting your head you sighed “what does that mean?” you asked as you grabbed your bags from the back seat as you watched him walk past you “well I mean, I figured you spent your weekend with your new boyfriend you can't stop raving about '' he said as the door closed behind him. You made your way into the office, with a sigh you set your things down at your desk and sat down, you couldn’t imagine why Casey made that comment? You shook your head, pushing the thoughts aside and got to work, grabbing all the papers you needed to start the day and get everything done for the long Monday. “(Y/L/N)!” Casey yelled from his office, you got up quickly making your way into the office, standing in front of him “yes?” you asked, adjusting the jacket you had on “well, if you aren’t too busy, I would like you to come to court with me today” he asked looking at you as you nodded quickly “no not at all! Of course I will!” you smiled excitedly, as he nodded “okay, good”.

Leaving the office, you completely lost track of the time,time hitting around 1 pm, having no clue you had just checked your phone with a text “CHRIS: I hope you’re okay, you didn’t text, just checking in, we gotta talk tonight” you sighed, shoving your phone in your purse, what could you possibly need to talk about? You sat in the back of the courtroom taking notes as Casey began the case, you followed along intently on the case as the intern you were but being first hand was exciting for you. “You did great!” you complimented Casey, following him out of the courtroom, holding both your notebook and bag you looked at him “I mean I knew the evidence was there but my god that was like an episode of Law and Order or something!” you laughed following to the car as he laughed in response “see kid, stick with me you can do that everyday of your life if you wanted” he grinned, holding the door open for you as you nodded in thank you before you felt a hand on your butt, gasping you turned and looked at him with shock on your face “What the hell!?” you turned away from him watching his face “oh don’t act like you didn’t like it” he shrugged as you looked over his face “Oh I did not ‘like it’” you put in quotes “I for sure did not appreciate that at all! You are my boss, what the hell” you shook your head, tossing his things in the passenger seat “oh like your boyfriend doesn’t mind, you clearly haven’t gotten much” he rolled his eyes in response to you, you scoffed turning back to him “I will be going back to the office alone, and do not be surprised if i switch attorneys” you slammed the car door behind you walking away quickly.

Making it back to the office you walked inside quickly, ignoring the many glances from the other women in the office, making your way to your desk you grabbed your things quickly, as Nina made her way to your desk with a whisper “honey..” she whispered looking at you picking up your things. You turned to her with a slight sniffle “yeah?” you asked looking at her “are you okay? Oh honey” she whispered, giving you a hug, no one in the office had a clue that your own mentor groped you in a courthouse parking garage. You gave her a quick hug back as you whispered a soft goodbye and made your way out of the office and to your car. Once you made it to your car you sat back and cried softly, the tears streaming down your cheeks as your cheeks stained from your so called waterproof mascara. Starting the car you made your way home, sniffles and sighs the whole way, pulling into the driveway you sighed, grabbing your car keys and purse making your way inside. You made it inside and within seconds Zeus was beside you jumping up on your legs, you crouched down petting behind his ears and giving him a much needed hug, with a huff he rested his head on your shoulder.

After a few hours of sitting in your own pity on the couch with zeus you decided it was time to get off the couch and make something to eat. As you were standing in the kitchen you were scrolling through your phone, attempting to find a recipe or something to slightly interest you in making something for dinner, as you shouldn’t order takeout but it was in the cards. You looked through a couple food blogs before coming across a tweet on your feed “OMG CHRIS IS IN LONDON OMG” you read the tweet a few times before continuing your investigation into the tweet. Taking the phone with you, you let Zeus back in from outside as you read through the tweets while you leaned against the door. You looked around with a scoff and pushed your hair back, you couldn’t be mad he was a grown man, but like london? You grabbed the phone quickly before dialing chris’s number quickly as you paced around the kitchen in the sweats and sweatshirt you borrowed from chris’s closet. You pulled the sleeves over your hands as you bit on your nails, waiting for the phone to pick up.

After a few short minutes the phone line clicked,signaling he had picked up and with a groan followed by “hello?” you sighed “chris” you snapped, probably louder than you should’ve as you expected him to be just waking up or sleeping from the time zones, “oh hey” he sighed again as you heard him adjusting in the bed “so uh, what did you want to talk about?” you asked as you thought logically, maybe it was a slip, maybe he didn’t mean to not tell you. “Oh I don’t remember now babe” he yawned loudly on the other end of the phone as you bit your lip “was it I don’t know… maybe the fact your in fucking london?!” you snapped over the phone as you looked around the kitchen, cringing at the fact you raised your voice at him, you heard the sigh as he sat up “oh yeah” he sighed “i’m so sorry I got on a flight and made it our here, it happened so fast I’m really sorry” you could hear the tiredness in his voice as he spoke, you felt horrible “okay but as your so called girlfriend you should’ve told me chris” you sighed pushing your hair back again. He sighed “yeah probably” he sighed as you groaned “yeah probably?” you mocked him over the phone as you sighed again “chris its fucking london! We had fucking plans this weekend!” you groaned “you could’ve even sent me a fucking text but no I find out my boyfriend is in fucking london over a god damn tweet” you yelled, zeus’s ears perked up at the raise of your voice “well maybe if my girlfriend” chris put emphases on the word “returned my phone calls and my texts we wouldn’t be in this mess now would we?” he sassed back. You laughed over the phone “you do realize I don’t sit and make movies right? I don’t have time to be accessible to my phone at your beckon call chris!” you yelled back as you could hear him adjust in the bed with a laugh “that's rich, but yet you're mad that I didn’t answer the phone and tell you i was in london?” he yelled back “seriously (Y/N) !” he finished with a sigh “you are upset im in london”. You shook your head knowing he couldn’t see it “No! I’m mad I didn’t even get a text that you were leaving the fucking count-” a knock interuptted your yelling as you sighed with a laugh as you heard him get out of bed. “Hold on” he said over the phone as he went to answer the door, you heard the door open and a “Hey Chris!”, a voice awfully femanine for being a buddy. You laughed and shook your head, ending the phone call there, you probably shouldn’t have ended on bad terms with the fight, was it dumb? Maybe. You sighed, starting to sob as you slid down and sat on the kitchen floor, the emotions of the day adding up for the day, flowing, you didn’t know what was going to happen with your life anymore, career or love wise.

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans fic #chris evans x you #chris evans angst #christopher evans #christopher robert evans #chris evans x y/n #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fandom

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vegetalass · 4 years ago

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hcs of the gang being quarantined in one big house together maybe?? 🥺 lub ur writing

i lub u, anon!!🥺 sorry this took forever!

General

Oh my godddddddddd

They had to stop doing movie nights because there was too much fighting

They tried to set it up such that everyone got a turn to pick a movie but there were still complaints

Now, movies are viewed at random and the policy is that

1. The TV is first come first serve

2. You have to announce when you’re using it

3. Anyone is allowed to join you

This has stemmed into multiple people shouting “IM WATCHING _____” at random times

And yes, people will try to hide the remote (mostly Sean)

If they can find it, that is

The lines between public and private property have been blurred. Everything must be labeled or there is a chance someone will take it

You can risk it, but it’s not recommended since they’re all dudes and will most likely eat anything

And even with your name on a box of graham crackers, there’s still a chance someone will stick their hand it in and steal a few

All the dudes walk around in their Long Johns like it’s not awkward

They have to do their own laundry so everyone is missing socks

Or they have extras

And wet laundry is constantly being left on the ground if it’s unattended and someone needs the washer

Arthur

This dude double dips

He licks the spoon and puts it back in, too

Gets yelled at a lot for this, but never remembers to stop

Everybody is afraid to touch all of the dips now because of this

And Hosea has to start buying separate ones just for Arthur

He’s the one who takes 3 hour baths

I imagine that there’s multiple bathrooms in the house but not enough for everyone so there are definitely times when people are like “WTF, Arthur you’re still in there?” or “Where’s Arthur?”

Usually it’s Charles or John because they don’t mind sharing a bathroom with each other

Cue Arthur having accidentally fallen asleep in the tub

But yea he’s just chilling in there, otherwise

Started the quarantine off by trying to fix up the house… But immediately got lazy

There’s probably a number of things he keeps saying that he’ll “get to, eventually”

The only reason Dutch hasn’t called someone is because it’s a PANDEMIC

Technologically challenged

Barely knows how to turn on the TV and still uses an iPhone 5 that has pretty much stopped working

John has given up trying to explain how to make things fullscreen on YouTube

Because of this, probably spends most of his time wandering around the yard and reading or journaling

Tilly even bought him some scrapbooking supplies, which he’s been trying to use

Little washi tapes and highlighters because she knows it can’t get too complicated too fast

She also makes him an Instagram account so he can take photos or post art

But figuring out how it works is a losing battle, and he never remembers to use it, anyway

“I think we should get a pet”

Everyone: “Arthur... Do we look like we take care of ourselves?

If anyone tries to talk about how annoying the quarantine is, starts ranting about people who refuse to take it seriously

And the conversation ends up spiraling into him blaming capitalism for everything

John

Every other meal he eats is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or Doritos

He does that thing where he wraps a bowl or plate in plastic wrap so he doesn’t have to wash it

Doesn’t clean up after himself

Leaves used tissues, slimy butter knives with PB on them, and crusty socks laying around

Unluckiest of them all

His snacks get taken the most, the bathroom is always occupied when he needs it, never gets to use the TV, his laundry is always moved, etc.

Always ends up using the bathroom when there’s no toilet paper

Texts Arthur for help and then makes an announcement in the group chat about “common courtesy”

Nobody replies

His texts are full of messages to Abigail that all say the same thing

“Help.” + “Please come get me” + “I hate it here”

They’re all left on read except for the occasional response asking if he needs anything from Target

The list he sends back is like four paragraphs long and it’s all dumb stuff

He’s like “FaceTime me when you get there, I wanna go shopping too”

Doesn’t even really want to leave the house for necessities, so he has to do stuff like water down his soaps or steal other people’s toiletries just to prolong how often he needs to go shopping for himself

He’s the one using Irish Spring from the dollar store mixed with water or a block of orange Dial soap that hasn’t been touched in five years

Charles tries to throw away an empty hand soap and John is like “THERE’S STILL SOAP IN THERE LOOK” *mixes water with it*

Steals razors and Shampoo

Thinks conditioner is “unnecessary” and “doesn’t do anything”

Complains about being bored but doesn’t bother to do the things people that people offer

Charles

Voluntarily becomes a recluse

Not because he wants to but because everyone else is too annoying to deal with

He’s forced to start using the internet and when he’s not on the computer he’s trying to block out the noise of the 8 other men he lives with just living

Going on walks is his other hobby

Also probably buys one of those adult coloring books to color

Like Athur, Charles hogs the bathroom

It’s not as bad as Arthur since he’s not in the tub for the whole time but he really will spend an hour getting ready in the morning for absolutely no reason

If anyone asks about it he just tells them that since they’re in quarantine there’s no reason to rush

But he does get yelled at if there’s no other bathrooms available

Becomes a self-care connoisseur

Walks around in a bathrobe and face mask just to try and achieve some sort of zen

Literally the only one who doesn’t walk around half naked

Besides Hosea, the one of the only guys who tries to wake up on time and eat three healthy meals a day

The house is entirely dark and he’s eating toast while Hosea makes coffee

It’s awkward, not because they’re weird about each other but because no one else is awake and it’s quiet for once

Dutch is the third person up and Charles leaves the kitchen by the time he’s around

Gave up trying to do the dishes and only cleans what he uses

Sometimes if he feels like being nice he’ll do Arthur’s dishes, too

But only if he gets something back in return, like Arthur doing his laundry or something

The only one who changes his bedsheets on the regular

Him and Kieran are the only ones trusted by Hosea to leave the house safely

Micah

Everyone is surprised Micah isn’t dead yet

Everyone is constantly fed up with him for something or for just being irritating

And try to ignore him for the most part, which is hard

Tries to defends himself with “Well, you don’t have to bother me if you don’t want to”

Doesn’t clean up after himself, either

John leaves more mess, but Micah does worse stuff

While John just leaves his dirty peanut butter knives around, Micah does stuff like forget to put the mayo back in the fridge, leave the bread bag out and open, forgets to bring his used dishes to the dishwasher, throws his trash in other people’s trash cans, leaves his wet laundry in the dryer, etc.

If it’s annoying and gross, he does it

And tries to eat food that other people have made for themselves or don’t want to share with him

Dutch is the only one who shares with him willingly

Does not pick up his hair from the bottom of the shower

And doesn’t clean the sink after he shaves

Honestly, I doubt any of the drains in the house work properly because so much shaving goes on

It’s honestly surprising to everyone that he takes the quarantine seriously

Accuses people of being sick even though all of them have barely left the house…

Wears a mask inside when he’s feeling salty

He doesn’t even care about the mask, it’s just to make people feel gross and bad about themselves

Besides Sean, he’s always trying to hog the TV

And everything he watches is annoying, pretentious, or both

Complains about there being “nothing to watch” despite always having something on and refusing to stop

Tries to smoke inside and literally always get busted for it

Even if other people are doing it too, he’s the one who doesn’t even bother to be by a window when he does it

His room is always off limits

If you need something from him you need to knock and wait in the doorway

Also does the “You’re too close… Step back, please” thing

And if anyone gets mad, says it’s a pandemic and he’s just trying to be SAFE

Mostly does this to feel powerful

Turns in to Uncle Jr. with all the complaining and berating he does

Uncle is honestly offended

Hosea

The only person allowed to do the shopping

He gave up trying to give people lists because the groceries they came back with were never right

Either too few, too many, not the right stuff... You name it

See here for more

That’s why, despite being the oldest, he’s the one who goes grocery shopping for meals twice a week

Refuses to buy alcohol because of incidents that they’ve had

Can’t stop people from sneaking it, though

Similar to Dutch in that he gets annoyed when people oversleep, but because its quarantine, he tries to not mention it, and at the worst, gets passive aggressive

Tries to make a chore chart for people to follow but it gets ignored

He ends up having to force people to do things by reminding them constantly

He’s the one who starts opening people’s doors in the morning and turning on the lights

Makes everybody start eating on paper plates with plastic silverware because he’s tired of trying to make people use the dishwasher

Arthur doesn’t know how, John doesn’t put his plates in the right place, Charles refuses to since no one else contributes to keeping it neat, Micah doesn’t even know they have one, Kieran also can’t fill it correctly...

Basically, it’s too much for Hosea to handle

His dinners are all Costco pre-made meals that can be made quickly

Frozen lasagna and prepackaged salad type stuff

He’s the guy who falls asleep on the couch sitting up while watching TV and if you try to talk to him he says “I’m awake” without opening his eyes

And if he’s using it, don’t even think about suggesting to change the channel

The answer is and always will be no

Even when he’s not really paying attention

And it’s either on the History Channel or Discovery Channel

Always complaining about how cold his feet are

Doesn’t let anyone touch the thermostat

He’s an in real life Elf on the Shelf

Dutch

If anyone, and I mean anyone starts sleeping in, he gets in a really pissy mood

“While I’m up, doing work for you, you’re sitting in bed being lazy!!!” and “What do you mean you don’t understand why! Why should I have to tell you why wasting the day is annoying to all those who are working!”

Even despite this, he can’t actually change the fact that no one wakes up on time

And it’s not like the work he’s doing for them is very important

He’s the one who thinks that a pandemic is the perfect time to be or do something useful

Eat healthy, write a book, pump iron… Anything

And when people complain about being useless he’s like “You have all this free time!!!1! Stop complaining!!! You can do anything!!!”

And if he’s doing something he considers useful, yells at people who try to bother him

Arthur: “Hosea wanted to know-”

Dutch: *doing sit ups* “CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY?”

When it’s his turn to cook dinner, he’s making 8 boxes of Trader Joe’s mac and cheese in a huge pot and calling a meal

Literally the only meal no one complains about

He won’t clean the pot when it’s finished, though

Literally just cooks and leaves it out for someone else to deal with

Another self-care aficionado

Also walks around in a bathrobe and face mask

He’s worse than Charles though, because while Charles wears pants... Dutch will be booty ass naked under his

Also keeps trying to make homemade masks and scrubs and walks around in those, too

He’s like “This is a good one, I can tell already”

Everyone: “Dutch... is that... mayo... in your hair?”

Annoyingly good at monopoly

Does not invite Molly over and gets yelled at over FaceTime

Cue everyone eavesdropping on their arguments

Goes on power walks

Yells at people when they listen to loud music with swear words

Honestly, always yelling at people

“Can somebody get me my slippers? Arthur? John? Hosea? AnYoNe!!!”

Kieran

Spends the least time in the bathroom because he’s afraid of getting yelled at

Does everything in five minute increments

Except for showers, when he allows himself ten minutes

Barely

Most of what he eats is just microwave popcorn and shredded cheese

He’s the one asking people if they want to go on “family walks” with him

Literally no one joins him

Also tries to play board games with everyone

This goes a little better at least because Hosea will sometimes play and if he’s there, a few people will definitely join

Very bad at monopoly

The most conscious about wearing a mask

The others wear them but Kieran is the one who wears double masks, gloves, and carries around Febreeze

Also will get mad if anyone forgets their “safety equipment”

Or if they’re within six feet of him in public

Props to him though for staying healthy

I’ve mentioned this before, but... Spends most of his time playing games on a big tablet wearing headphones

Candy Crush and FarmVille and Words with Friends and stuff like that

Though all of his internet friends are weird old ladies he doesn’t know

Everyone is mad at him for sending non-stop game notifications, too

Hosea is the only one who responds to any of them

He’ll never admit this, though

Also tries to start doing arts and crafts

Mary-Beth started telling him about the various crafts she’s been doing, so he’s started trying to follow along, too

Things like crocheting or popsicle stick art

His stuff all looks bad, but he’s just happy to be doing it

And to be FaceTiming Mary-Beth

When he gets to choose a movie, he’s picking a “family-friendly” movie like Inside Out or Lilo and Stitch

Everyone starts out being mad but they all end up watching the whole thing without complaining

Heated debates ensue, too

For example, like about whether Flynn should’ve cut Repunzel’s hair in Tangled

“YOU’RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I’M WRONG?”

Charles + Arthur vs. Dutch + Bill

Makes meatloaf or Hamburger Helper like once a week

They’re basically the only thing he knows how to make

Sides with Arthur when he suggests getting a pet

Wears a Snuggie

Doesn’t change his socks

Javier

Plays his own music very loudly and won’t turn it off or down if you ask

Either that or he’s practicing guitar

It’s not really that bad but when you can’t escape it.... People get mad

The only saving grace is that the singing is usually in Spanish so it’s not as bothersome

The door to his room is always closed

Refuses to open it

To talk to him, you have to knock and then he’ll exit

Dutch is the only one allowed in and he thinks Javier’s rules about entering are creepy so never does it

Javier cooks his own food and won’t share

Only makes enough for exactly one person so even if he wanted to, there’s not enough

Eats dinner in his room to prevent people from bothering him or asking for some

However, he has the biggest stash of quarantine snacks…

No one knows where he gets them

And getting him to share is like trying to do a drug deal, but he’s not against it as long as he gets something in return

He didn’t personally cook all these snacks so the rules are different

His room is full of scented candles to make it smell better since the whole house kinda smells like Boy

Buys a gamer chair at the start of quarantine

Claims it’s more comfortable than the office chair that Dutch and Hosea chose for everyone

Everyone is jealous

Wears fuzzy pajama pants only

Sean

Sean is the one sleeping in

Never sleeps in his bed and just falls asleep wherever, basically

Usually the couch

Because he’s always snoozing, he’s the one who watches the most TV

Micah claims this isn’t “fair,” despite doing the same thing

And even if he’s not watching TV, he’s just using the couch to watch Tik Toks full volume

Tries to make his own Tik Toks, but they either stink or no one wants to participate

Constantly having people get mad at him for recording them

Stopped wearing clothes the moment quarantine started

Always in a tank top and his underpants

It’s kinda weird

People cared at first but by now they can’t be bothered to complain since they’re

1. Used to it

2. Probably start doing the same thing

Leaves his laundry laying around

Also won’t share anything he’s eating

Gets mad when people steal food

Doesn’t address anyone in particular though, just walks around yelling about how “nobody has the common decency not to steal”

Has food delivered almost every other day

No one knows where he’s getting the money from, either

Everyone think it’s a waste

Mostly because he doesn’t share, but also because all hell broke loose when Hosea found out about an expense called “delivery fees”

Also has a stick up his ass about wasting food

Started yelling about this randomly, too

If he can’t force someone else to finish leftovers, he forces himself to finish them

Probably gets caught watching a certain type of nasty video a lot

Lowkey it probably happens to everybody at least once

Yells at anti-maskers

Tries to wrestle the other boys and gets his ass handed to him

Bill

Possessive of everything

Usually he’s not this bad but being cooped up with a bunch of thieves and liars doesn’t make him confident that his Circus Animal cookies will last very long

Doesn’t share anything and very adamant about making sure there’s labels on things so nothing gets mixed up

Also makes his own space in the fridge with tape

BILL’S SPACE DO NOT TOUCH

And will start yelling in anything is moved

Not as bad as Sean though because he only cares about his own stuff

The whole thing is super hypocritical though, because he definitely steals other people’s stuff

If he gets caught, claims “it’s only fair”

Hosea has to buy him soap because he won’t buy it himself

Definitely the one who learns how to make prison hooch with cranberry juice and yeast

And the one who eats all of the ice cream

Even the nasty flavors

Wears the same clothes everyday because since he’s not working, “they’re not dirty”

They start getting holes in them, though

If anyone tries to suggest something for him to do, he gets mad and claims he “knows how to entertain himself”

Also constantly accusing people of being in his space or business

Ends up starting a ton of fights over this and then complaining about how mean everyone is to him

He’s not doing it on purpose, though

Ends up buying some kind of gaming console to pass the time

If he buys an Xbox, he shares with the rest of the boys

If he buys a nintendo switch, he starts playing Animal Crossing and doesn’t put it down for weeks

Out of everyone… He’s the one who takes the pandemic the least serious

He follows the rules because he doesn’t want to be eaten alive by any of the boys, but he probably thought the virus was a hoax at first

He learned his lesson the first time he tried to go out without a mask and got locked in the car, though

Forgets to flush the toilet

His room is dirty

#red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption 2 headcanons #rdr2 headcanons #rdr2 #arthur morgan #HOPE U ENJOY ANON SORRY IM SLOW #and will probs continue to be slow #my car broke down at mcdonalds today LOL and by the time it got fixed mcdonalds WAS FUCKING CLOSED #i was so sad my mom actually ended up taking me to a different one #but they didnt have what i wanted LOL #but it was fine bc i was happy with just fries #also y'all.... my sink is fixed and let me tell u #I AM NEVER PAYING FOR A PLUMBER AGAIN #i took that bitch apart and snaked it myself #and enough hair to make a wig came out of it but she was fixed #and i saved so much money my mom bought me lunch as a reward #LOL #anyways i love u all thanks for reading hope this shows up in the tags and u like it #i hope i put enough!!#and lmk if i should republish in a new format #i keep getting scared to make a new post and not answer anon directly #oH WELL JUST CATO PROBLEMS #also went back to work and it was... fine i guess #idk #Anonymous

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mother-snake · 4 years ago

Text

self preservation

@idkanameatall enjoy the angst!

to everyone, ask and the next story i write i shall tagg you if youd like so you dont miss out!

(sorry for this lengthy boi. Also, my cat missy says hello

Word count- 3769)

angst. very angsty and i dont know what else to put as a warning cause i wrote 90 precent of this around two weeks ago... please say if there is something im missing... :P

- janus helps the others but can they help him, thast baiscaly the plot-

The first person to get a slight feel for Janus’s intentions was Logan.

He had huddled himself into his room for a couple days, trying his best to make a schedule that he knew would just end up being forgotten by the others. his computer screen was blank. He hadn’t even started. The knowledge of the fact that it wasn’t going to be used stopping him. Why should he do this if it will just be disregarded? he knew they wouldn’t listen to him I he just asked for them to try and stick to the plan. They would only ignore and apologise. He’d forgive them and it would continue like that.

His eyes were heavy. He hadn’t felt like this in a long while. Not since Thomas was a teenager, when he was always being worked overtime.

He was fine. He was going to be okay. They would listen this time.

It was then that he sensed the other presence in his room. He didn’t need to turn to know that the deceitful side was there. It was six, he would always visit around this time every other day.

But when he looked at the time, he knew it was for another reason. It was three in the morning, and he had visited yesterday. so why was he here?

“lying to yourself I see Logan,” he let out a sigh, “get some rest, you’ve been in here for four days,” “I can’t, I need to get this done,” Logan muttered to himself as he stared at the screen. “Logan, your over worked, you’re tired. Continue this tomorrow, it will still be here when you wake up,” the scale covered side closed over the computer screen and stared at the logical side with a small smile.

It was then that Logan realised he had actually started crying.

Janus held a hand out to the other who took it thankfully. His legs shook as he tried to stand up. the bed looked enticing to him. He was hit by a wave of pure tiredness.

He didn’t remember falling asleep? he felt something giving off a small amount of heat and tucked himself closer. He heard a small chuckle. That wasn’t normal. he cracked his eyes open to be met with Janus smiling at him. Oh… he forgot about the other side.

He locked gazes with the other side for couple seconds before looking away with a small blush. “how do you feel?” Janus asked. “I… don’t feel anything” he stated. “that’s a lie, try again Logan,” “I… I feel better,” he did feel better, just a little bit drained but not as much as he did yesterday.

Half an hour later they were downstairs in the kitchen. Logan being the earliest up wouldn’t be a surprise to the others, but Janus still lived over in the dark side. he had always wondered what it was like over there. He wondered if it looked anything like the light side’s commons. How many other dark sides where there.

For the first time as the kitchen light flickered on, he caught something familiar the other side was wearing. Several things actually.

“is that Virgil’s old hoodie?”

The back hoodie was one he wouldn’t forget. The green fabric around his neck acting like a scarf he recognised as Remus old sash. It was bizarre to see. But he didn’t mind.

“yes, he gave it to me when he changed his outfit,” Janus spoke as he grabbed two bowls from the coubard.

“so, the scarf I take it was Remus old sash?” he only got a nod in response.

The deceitful side put a bowl of chocolate pebbles in front of Logan who sat down at the table. The other side had a bowl of krispies. Oh, he hoped that roman didn’t think it was him that stole his cereal again.

The two ate in silence. Both found it quite pleasant, but for two different reasons.

One because he hated how loud the others could get, the other because he had some company, something he hadn’t had in a very long time.

By the time the others had come down the stairs, Janus had long gone knowing they wouldn’t take too well to his company. A small part of him was upset that the other wouldn’t stay longer.

Patton had been the first to arrive. He smiled as he saw Logan sitting at the table. the next two to come down were the twins. Both giving a loud hello to the others in the room. the last one up was Virgil. Upon entering the room, he could feel the slightly heightened anxiety coming from the logical side. He gave Patton a quick look. He must have sensed something too.

Logan looked round the now busy room and made his way over to the exit. He was aware that Virgil had left after him. So when he was tapped on the shoulder and turned to see the anxious side he just stared. “you okay specks?” “what do you mean Virgil?” “well… I can feel your anxiety coming off you for one and second you were staring at the door for a while,” “oh, I see. I didn’t mean to stare, just have a lot on my mind, still got the schedule to finish,” his voice ending in a whisper.

Virgil looked at the other. He rarely showed emotion, this must have been affecting him.

“well, take a break and watch a movie?” Virgil began, “ill let you pick,”

It wasn’t noticeable, but a small smile appeared on his face, “that sounds reasonable,”

If he had arrived in his room, he would have caught deceit sitting at his desk for a while with a smile on his face. He could feel the others emotions falling back into place from there.

The next was Patton. He had been known for stress baking. Every night instead of sleeping he would bake cookies. The unfortunate part of that today was the fact he had enough cookies to feed a small village.

He grumbled as he looked at the enormous pile of chocolate chip cookies, peanut flapjacks and muffins. A thought crossed his mind.

Thus, he picked up a tuber-ware box and began to fill it as much as possible.

When he knew he could get no more into it he proceeded to make his way somewhere he hadn’t thought he would ever go. the door to the dark side was black with one panel of yellow glass, but it was to blurry to see anything on the inside. He could hear however what sounded like a movie playing.

He gave the door a quick knock. The noise stopped and replaced by shuffling, the door creaked open and he was met with a yellow eye. “why aren’t you here Patton?” the voice was smooth. “I brought you something, I hope you don’t mind,” he scratched the back of his head as he lifted the rather large container up a little.

The other side looked surprised before he opened the door the rest of the way and gestured the other to come inside. he gingerly made his way and was immediately hit with the smell of fresh bread and coffee. It was a welcoming smell.

“would you like some tea?” the other asked.

Not wanting to be rude he gave a small nod. “just set it down on the coffee table, I’ll be back in a minuet,”

True to his word he came back with a cup of tea. It was also then that Patton had seen what he was wearing. A smile appeared as he saw the dark sides toothless wonzie. It made sense, he was half way through the second movie. “you like how to train your dragon,” Patton grinned “what gave it away?” he passed the tea over and opened the box of goodies pulling out a muffin.

He grabbed the blanket and pulled it over the both of them. Patton smiled at the gesture. Soon the movie was back on. as it continued, he could hear Janus mutter almost every line that played. Then when the credits came, he sang the song. the third movie was put on. He could feel the others emotions. It was mainly happy but he could feel a deep sadness. “you okay kiddo?” he whispered. “of course, just don’t like the fact it’s the final movie, knowing it’s going to end hurts I suppose, but at least I can reply the movies,” Patton pondered that for a second.

When the movie ended Janus and Patton were both in tears. But both eventually calmed themselves. “I must ask Patton, what was the real reason you’re here?” Janus asked to the other. “don’t tell the others, but I tend to bake when I can’t sleep and I made far too much today,” Patton said. he shifted his gaze away from the others inquisitive gaze. “well the, perhaps next time if you’d like, we could do this again?” Janus spoke. “would you be alright with that? I don’t want to wake you by accident,” Patton responded. “it will be perfectly fine Patton, now I suggest you head to bed and try to get some sleep,” the window behind the tv showed that sunbeams were beginning to peak over giving the room a slight yellow huge. “alright kiddo, same goes for you, you need some sleep too,”

A couple minuets later he was back in his room. He practically collapsed as he made his way to his bed. The softness of the sheets lulling him to sleep.

Roman was the next. he hadn’t spoken to Janus since that incident around a month ago. it was two days after then that Remus had moved his room. But the two had connected together. Remus right now was in the imagination. Leaving him sitting in the shared room.

A sigh left his lips as he looked around the room. He just didn’t know. He wanted to apologize for making fun of the others name. but he didn’t know if he was ready to face the other. Logan, Virgil and Patton were busy as of right now, so he could easily watch some Disney for now.

That is how he found himself staring in the light sides living room at a familiar figure watering the few plants that lay around the room. he stood still for a couple second. this was fine.

“I could hear that lie from over here,” he groaned, “don’t worry ill leave if you want me to,” his voice was softer than normal, his gloved hands picked away at the bottom of his lose shirt.

“its fine, actually I would like to speak to you, if you don’t mind,” roman spoke.

Janus just sighed in response and sat down on one of the armchairs. roman sat near on the sofa, not really sure where to start. “well… I suppose I should say sorry,” roman began hesitantly, “I’m sorry I made fun of your name, that wasn’t my best moment,”

Roman shifted as the other stared at him.

“you shouldn’t be the one to apologise roman,” Janus muttered,” I was the one who manipulated you, I pushed you further than I should have. I also apologise for what I said after, I know that it was a dirty move,”

The two sat there for a while. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. But they both felt slightly better. Not as good as before but still better none the less. the silence was interrupted by Remus yelling. He was coming close. “well then, best be on my way,” Janus smiled at the other weakly. “id like to talk to you later if you wouldn’t mind Janus,” roman said, “I’d like to try out some scripts?”

The deceitful side nodded, and as soon as Remus was in the room, the other side seemed to vanish.

Later that night, they were setting up the table. Roman stared at the table. A couple seats were empty. Not enough people to fill them up. he stood still for a couple seconds too long. Logan and Patton who had been cooking and were just beginning to put the food on the table looked between each other with worried looks. “are you okay roman?” “yes, I was just wondering if we could perhaps invite our resident snake?” their shocked looks didn’t go unnoticed. “you two have talked then,” Logan stated, getting a nod in response. “very well the, go quickly,”

Roman excitedly made his way down the halls of the mind palace. He didn’t forget where the door was. He remembered when he was younger, he used to sneak here to play with Remus.

Then the door was there. The door had changed. Instead of three different coloured glass panes there was only one.

He quickly knocked on the door. It opened a couple seconds later with Janus standing looking confused at the other. Mildly confused as he was grinning.

“I am here to invite you to dinner my good sir,” roman said as he outstretched his hand. “do the other know you’re here?” “Logan and Patton do, if that’s what you mean,” “fine, but I can leave if I want to,” he took the others hand.

The walk was silent. The noise from the kitchen getting louder. He could feel deceit start to freeze up. he gave a quick squeeze as they continued on walking.

They arrived there sooner than they imagined. Patton noting deceit gave quick wave, Logan did the same and gestured for them to sit. the previous dark sides hadn’t been facing the two so when they turned to see the scales of the other, they immediately went silent watching his every move.

Janus sat down in an empty seat next to Logan, but opposite to roman. The ex-darks only sent sharp glares to the scaled one.

The dinner was quiet, no one spoke, the tension thick enough to be cut with a knife. Eventually Janus stood up, he gave a quick goodbye before he left. Virgil let out a sigh of relief as he left the room. Remus relaxed as well. Logan looked at roman with the same expression with one another. The plate that Janus had been eating from was barely halfway eaten.

The two seemed to have a small eye discussion before Logan stood up and left as well.

The day went on semi normal from then on. Roman glanced back to where the logical side had disappeared.

It was the next day that he saw the logical side, he was sitting in the kitchen once again. A book he hadn’t seen before in his hands. The words were covered but he did manage to find a name ‘the maze runner’.

He wasn’t normally up this early, Patton would be up before hand most days, but occasionally this ended up happening.

Thomas was the next. This day was different than normal. He had meant to go on a date. But when he had arrived there was no one there, two hours later and no one had arrived.

So now he was sitting in the living room watching steven universe trying to ignore the feelings that were creeping up on him. so he was rather surprised when he felt a weight sit down next to him. He had thought it was Patton so he didn’t really mind. But if had turned to look he would have seen a figure in a black wonzie.

He was just staring at the screen, not really watching. He felt and arm wrap around him and the figure pulled him close to their chest. His eyes felt heavy as he leaned into the soft comfort of whoever I was. soon he was fast asleep.

When he woke up, he was still lying on the sofa. It was then that he realised there was someone he was using as a warm pillow. as he cracked his eyes open, he tilted his head up to meet the face of a sleeping snake boi. to say he was surprised was an understatement, but he didn’t move in fear of waking the other side up accidentally. Thus, he stayed unmoving for another thirty minutes. it was when he felt the other shift did, he realise the other had begun to slowly wake up. Thomas sat upright to give the other some space. it was then that he realised the other was waring a wonzie as well. A toothless one that seemed to be one size to big. he smiled as the other muttered a quick good morning.

“how long were you there Janus?” Thomas asked. “since last night, you were unknowingly lying to yourself and summoned me,” he yawned. “oh sorry for that then,” “no need, I wasn’t really doing much in the first place.”

Thomas stood up and clambered over to the kitchen and took two bowls out of the coubard. When he turned to ask the other what he wanted, he found no one there. he looked at where the other had previously been and began to worry. A small part wondering what the other was planning… but another part happy that he had been there for him. maybe in the future he could repay that.

Remus… oh how he missed his friend. He was angry at himself for messing up what once had been a chaotic friendship. he knew his words would have an effect on the other the moment he would hear the words that had been spat like venom.

Virgil, he wouldn’t be surprised if his mother and son relationship had been torn beyond repair. He missed his dark shadow. Wished he could take those words back from their final meeting. But alas, the other wouldn’t even bat an eye in his direction anymore.

And that’s how he found himself curled up on his bed crying silent tears. He had been doing this well… it was the only thing he could do. He barely had anyone. The light sides were only just warming up to him along with Thomas. and yet his room unlike the others stayed still. And he knew why.

Virgil and Remus, they believed that the others had accepted them. They knew they had been.

Janus knew he wouldn’t be. No matter what was spoken. No matter who said the words. He was deceit. Lying was always wrong. His scales were hated. He was hated.

Then the tug. That tug he had never felt before but Virgil had described it long ago. he was being summoned. He ignored it. He wasn’t wanted. They were just going to throw his ideas to the ground and say he was lying.

Then the tug came back a little stronger. And again, and again.

He tried his best to compose himself as Soon he couldn’t block the feeling anymore and could feel himself being pulled into the real world. He appeared in a spot next to the stairs. Logan was next to him looking at the other with a slight worried look. One you’d find if you payed close attention.

He took a deep breath before it hitched as he looked around the room. Everyone was looking at him. “may I ask why you weren’t so insistent on summoning me?” he said. “we were wondering if you were okay, we hadn’t seen you in a while and we were getting concerned,” Thomas stated, worry laced in his voice. “I’m fine, I assure you,” Janus said staring at the other.

“see I told you snake face was fine,” grumbled Virgil on the stairs. Janus winced at the harsh words. They had all seen it however, the small flinch as Virgil verbally attacked his scales.

“Janus?” Patton mumbled. “I’m FINE.”

Everyone looked wide eyed at the others outburst. Even Remus and Virgil. It wasn’t often they had seen this type of emotion coming off the other. Virgil could feel the intense spark of anxiety that had filled him as he spoke.

Remus heard his thoughts. His mother figure… god if he could stab everyone other than Janus then he definitely would.

Patton could feel the sadness roll of him the moment he had appeared. But now it was so visible it made him take a breath that he hadn’t realised he had been holding.

Logan looked at the other with wide eyes. Not expecting the only other functioning braincell to have such an outburst.

Roman just felt guilt. He knew that this was long overdue. He knew the other wasn’t fine. He knew how easy it was to hide under a facade of fake emotion. That sooner or later it would overwhelm.

“I’m sorry,” Janus whispered. he had begun to sink down when I hand caught his arm. His eyes snapped to see the logical side before being pulled into a hug by him. His embrace was tight. Janus only cried at the warmth and comfort of the other. then he could feel another join. He didn’t look up. but only cried harder. He hugged Logan back ad best as he could.

Soon he was sure that a couple more had joined in the cuddle pile.

His eyes were heavy, but he was waking up? his eyes opened, he was sandwiched between Logan and Virgil. The ex-dark had his head tucked in the crook of his neck. Logan had an arm wrapped around his waist.

Patton and roman were on the other side of the couch. Thomas was lying with his head in Patton’s lap. Remus was spread like a starfish on the floor.

He mentally freaked out for one or two minuets before the events of yesterday came pooling into his mind. ah, they had fallen asleep watching how to train your dragon.

Everyone else was still asleep. And he knew he couldn’t move. But one thing had crossed his mind. A happy thought he hadn’t been able to think in months. was he accepted? Well, he would wait for now.

And if later he had gone back into his room and open his door, he would find a hall filled with other multi coloured doors. Well, he would smile wide and join the others for breakfast and attempt to strike a conversation with Logan, and it would lead to Virgil and Remus laughing so hard that they would fall to the ground in tears. Patton and roman would only look on in confusion. But they would still be smiling.

After all their famILY was complete.

#Janus sanders #Roman sanders #Sander sides #thomas sanders #remus sanders #Virgil sanders #patton sanders #angst #janus angst #i need a nap #please enjoy #hello there #dark sides #light side

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boleyn-falcon · 5 years ago

Text

Unlikely Shepard

So here it is! i finally finished the one-shot for @moan-jeutas with the prompt “you’re bleeding” with reluctant caretaker Jane and Joan!

synopsis - Joan is sick and the Ladies in waiting call in a very reluctant Jane Seymour to handle it while they are doing the show for things to just take a bad turn.

Trigger warnings - Vomiting, illness, blood/pus, open wound, skin picking/scratching - tell me if i need to add anymore!

words - 3012

Joan had been insisting that she was fine for about a week, that was clearly a lie. For the past few days she's been running fevers,aching, having headaches, all of those kinds of things but still came to work as if she was right as rain. She was about as “right” as a category five hurricane on a small island. Joan thought if she didn't show up to work they would fire her and everyone would hate her, so she had never missed a day of work. She woke up around 7 as normal, but right as she began to get out of bed a searing pain shot through her abdomen. She was taken aback by this, literally and metaphorically and fell back onto her bed. ‘Shit that's not good’, the pianist thought, she tried to stand once more but all she managed to do was fall face first onto her carpet. All that came out of her was a low grunt and pained “Ow-damnit”. She laid there for a solid five minutes to see if the pain would subdue but it just got worse and worse.

She eventually, but very slowly, made it to the kitchen to see Maria making her morning coffee. She stumbled past her and to the cabinet to grab some ibuprofen but was stopped by the drummer in her tracks. “Are you okay Palomita? You don’t look well, should we call in the-”, Maria was stopped mid sentence by the blonde. “No no! Heh don’t worry, im fine, yep completely okay to work”, right as she finished her sentence another wave of sharp pains hit her like a truck, causing her knees to give out. She hit the tile with a small whisper-like attempt at a shriek that just came out as a pained squeal and wrapped her arms around her torso. Maria was quick to grab her bridal style and get her to the couch with the pain killers and a glass of water.

Right as Joan is settled onto the coach Bessie and Maggie finally decide to come down stairs. “Shit is Joey okay?”, Maggie said worriedly as she picked up her pace and found her way to her friend’s side on the couch. “No, i'll call in and say that me and her need to stay home today”, Maira stopped as she heard a groan to her side, “No i promise i'm fine just-”, “No Joan, your staying whether you like it or not”, Bessie said firmly. Bessie turned and walked into the kitchen as she began to call someone. “Hey Seymour you know how you have a lot of free days saved up?... Yea so do you mind coming over for a day and watching Joan?.. Okay thanks, she was just ill and all, yea text me when you're on your way over”. The rest of the ladies looked to the black haired bassist with confusion, waiting for her to explain. “Jane is going to stop by for the day to take care of Joan while we are at the show”, Bessie said nonchalantly. “Wait”, the drummer started. “ how’d you convince her to do that so easily?”, “Well she owed me one so yea she was hesitant but she didn't really argue it” .

You would think the timid blonde would love the idea of Jane coming over to take care of her right? Well sort of, Joan loved to idea of spending time with Jane, but she doesnt wanna be clingly or say somthing stupid to make Jane hate her. The anxiety bubbling in her stomach only got worse a few minutes later as she heard knocking at the door, she knew exactly who it was. All Joan could really do is curl up in a ball with her blanket over her head like a child hiding from a monster under her bed. She thought if she just imagined Jane wasn't even there it would make things better, she was wrong.

Maggie got up from her friend’s side to answer the door, she only hoped the Queen could help. She opened the door to see the Blonde queen with a duffle bag and an unreadable expression. “Heh heeey Jane, come on in..”, the burnette opened the door more to let her in. Jane immediately went over to the bassist who was sitting on the floor next to the couch. “So what symptoms does she have? Anything like fever or vomiting?”,Bessie got to her feet to get eye to eye with the taller women, “All we really know is that she’s in pain and as pale as an egg shell”, a small groan came from the mound covered in blankets on the couch from being compared to an egg. Jane just tilted her head and gave a confused look to the raven-haired woman. “ Wait wait, so you called me over to skip a day of work to take care of some cramps and her complection?”, Jane asked with an unamused tone,looking over to the pile of pianist on the small couch. Bessie gave a disgruntled look to the queen, “well she’s obviously in pain and needs to be looked after so nothing bad happens and you have the most vacation days… and remember the streetlight Seymour”. Jane gave a defeated look as she set her stuff down on the floor near the coffee table. Maira and Maggie just gave confused glances but decided not to question what ‘the streetlight’ was.

The next few minutes was just the Ladies in Waiting, minus Joan of course, getting ready for the day and Jane setting up the living room for the day. Maggie slyly shuffled into Bessie’s dimly lit room and gave out a small ‘ahem’ noise to signal her presence in the room. The shorter girl turned around and shot her friend a small smile, “Hey Mags what's up? Need a hair tie or something?”. Maggie gave a worried look to her bandmate, “Do you think Joey will be okay? I know Jane will be here and all but I'm still a bit worried..”, the bassist walked forward to put a reassuring hand on the guitarist’s shoulder, “Don’t worry yourself Mag, she’ll be okay, trust me okay?”, Maggie gave a slight nod and a small smile as she left the room to continue changing.

Maria was having her own little bit of worry. She finished her hair and clothes as soon as she could so she could check on her little dove. She knew how Jane and Joan’s relationship was, Jane was cold towards the clingy girl most of the time but she knew there was some part of the queen there that loved the girl dearly, she just had to let it out. The drummer also hoped Joan wouldn’t get too anxious and make herself even sicker and make things worse. She saw it before on Cathrine’s deathbed, the more worried she got, the more her sickness consumed her. She just didn’t want a repeat of what happened all those centuries ago. She quickly walked down the stairs to find Joan still in her small blanket caccoon and Jane in thier pantery. Maria walked over to the pantry where Jane seemed to be searching for something. The curly haired woman reached over and shut the door to the pantry and guided the queen over to the fridie and pulled out a container of soup. The taller woman gave a confused look as she was handed what she was looking for, “It’s broccoli and cheddar, her favorite” Maria then grabbed a lone spoon from the counter and handed it over. “Huh funny, it’s Anne’s favorite too”, Maria cut her off slightly, “Maggie’s too, I guess Anne and her ladies all had a similar taste in soups”. Jane poured the container as the gears in her head started to turn, ‘oh yea Joan was one of Anne’s maids of honor’, she finished warming up the soup and walked into the living room to find the rest of the band waiting. “So”, the Bassist started, “We are off but make sure to take good care of her Seymour, if not you know what will happen”, both women gave a knowing look, still leaving the other two muscians confused as ever.

Maggie bent down to the bundle of blankets and gave it a nudge. A mess of blonde hair popped up from the blankets with a grumpy look that quickly changed as she saw who had disturbed her. “How you feelin’ Joey? Any better?”, Joan only gave a small huff and a sad look back at her friend. Maggie then revealed what she had in her hand to her sick comrade, a teal hoodie with a black guitar on the front. She handed it out towards the sickly girl who quickly grabbed it. “We’ll be back soon, little Roo”, Maggie gave a smile as Joan held the hoodie close with a barely audible ‘thank you’.

The band finally left with a choir of ‘Love you’’s and ‘get better’’s. Jane finally got a chance to sit down and assess the situation. She sat the hot soup bowl down with a napkin and a spoon on the coffee table in front of Joan, ready to get to work. “Okay Joan, how are you feeling? Can you let me feel your temperature so I can see if I need to give you anything for a fever or not?”, Joan anxiously sat up from her blanket cocoon to finally address Jane. She bit her lip shyly as she decided to actually speak to her queen. “W-well I've been having waves of really bad pain in my stomach a-and I’m kinda nauseous, oh yea-yea you can check my temperature”, the pianist gave a worried glance to the older woman as she leaned forward and touched her lips to her forehead. Jane’s head shot back in surprise, “Joan you're practically on fire! You gotta take all of those blankets off, and go change out of those fuzzy pajamas and into a tank top and shorts”. The pale girl got up carefully and slowly made her way up the stairs to her room so she could change.

‘Jeez’ Jane thought, ‘It can't be that bad, I mean colds happen all the time she could have probably handled this herself, yea she completely could’. Jane places all of her cold medicines on the coffee table and walks into the kitchen to find an ice pack to put on the younger girl’s head till her fever let up. Right as she reaches the freezer she hears a large ‘thunk’ come from up stairs. Jane first thought nothing of it till she got back to the living room with a mickey mouse ice pack in hand, realizing Joan has been changing for 8 minutes now. She put the ice pack down and walked up the stairs to Pianist’s room to find the girl sprawled out on the carpet. She had only some navy athletic shorts on and a sports bra with a white tank top a few feet away from her body. As Jane bent down to get the girl up she noticed she had begun shivering like it was below freezing. She quickly scooped the girl up in her arms and speedily got her to the couch to lay her down. Her eyes were half open but also seemed pained. The now concerned caregiver put the small ice pack on the girl’s burning forehead and nodged the girl’s shoulder. “Joan..? can you talk to me at all?”, the sickly girl only gave a small whimper as she closed her eyes and dozed off. The motherly queen was originally very reluctant to help the clingy young girl, but her worsening state made her a lot more concerned for the poor girl’s health. She was slightly glad Joan could get some rest for that would surely help.. Right?

About 3 hours passed and the pale MD was still passed out. Jane had eventually put the soup back in the fridge and started reading a book on her phone, waiting for the girl to wake. The queen finally took a break from her novel and started to give the sick girl a good look to find anymore concerning symptoms she may have when she spotted something odd. She got closer to get a better look to only find a gnarly scab right above the girl’s hip. The area around it was raw and red, with even a hint of green and white showing infection. A lightbulb finally went off in her head, ‘This isn't a normal cold, it's an infection caused by this wound, but how did it happen?’. The older woman was put out of her train out thought by Joan stirring in her sleep. The stirr soon turned into thrashing as her legs started to kick and silent tears streamed down her face. Jane quickly jumped into action, she took the sick musician by the shoulders and shook her. “Wake up Joan! C’mon wake up!”, Joan’s eyes shot open and she started to trash even more to break out of the blonde’s grip. Her hands found their way to her damaged hip and began to scratch relentlessly.

Jane quickly grabbed the girl’s wrists and pinned them above her head, but it was too late. “You’re… bleeding”, the wound on Joan’s hip had been reopened by the scratching and started to bleed and ooze pus. The MD began to sob uncontrollably and hyperventilate. The blonde queen finally let go of Joan’s wrist to grab some antiseptic and large plasters. Before Jane could stop her, Joan got up and attemped to get to the bathroom but collapsed half way there and threw up onto the wooden floor. Jane was extremely overwhelmed, she set the medical supplies down and walked over to joan and tried to sit her upright so she wasn't lying next to her own bile on the floor. She grabbed the napkin in her pocket and cleaned Joan’s mouth, she carried the ill girl over to the toilet in case she needed to get more out. The older blonde quickly walked back to grab the medical supplies so she could clean up the infected wound as soon as she could.

The choked sobs of the pale girl continued until she felt arms wrap around her. “It's okay Little Lamb, you’ll be okay just calm down for me”, Jane’s soft voice made Joan’s sobs slowly diminish and just turned into a silent cry. The pair sat there for a solid ten minutes, all Jane did was whisper comforting words and keep her hold on Joan, making sure she had time to calm down.

The queen carried the MD back to her spot on the couch and handed her Maggie’s jacket to hold while she cleaned up the bile from the floor. When she returned she had a bottle of antiseptic and a towel in her hands. Joan gave a confused and worried look to her caregiver. “Okay Joan can you turn on your side for me sweetheart?”, the pianist hesitantly obliged, Jane put the towel on the couch and Joan’s lower back area and sighed. “This is going to hurt a bit Little Lamb.. I promise it’ll be over soon but i have to do this ..”, the concerned woman poured the antiseptic on the infected gash and Joan let out a heart wrenching shriek that shook the house. The wounded girl squirmed and held tightly onto the teal hoodie in her arms as she tried not move even more than she already was. Jane continued to clean the bloody and pus covered wound to the best of her ability and finished it off with a large plaster.

After a few minutes Jane sat next to the ill girl and put a comforting arm around her,“I know that you probably don’t wanna talk about it but i'll ask anyway, but why Joan? What caused you to do this to yourself?”. Joan shuffled uncomfortably but she figured she might as well tell the queen the truth, she did just clean up her throw up after all, she deserved the truth. “I...I just get so sacred and so anxious, it just happens I guess, it's an outlet of sorts”, Jane gave a concerned glance, “But why are you so scared and anxious? Is something going on Little Lamb?”. The pianist paused but decided to spill her guts, “Everyone hates me i just know it, I’m too helpless and too clingy… and if i can’t do my job right people are gonna hate me even more then they will fire me and then i'll be useless…”. Jane stared silently at the girl next to her for a moment and thought, ‘Had Joan really been suffering this much? Was her coldness making this all worse? This needs to change and it needs to change now’. Jane wrapped Joan in a bear hug as the sick blonde began to silently cry again.

“Joan”, Jane started slowly, “You need to listen, no one hates you, I promise, not any of the queens and especially not your girls. We all love you very much Joan, we care about you so very much, we will always be here for you”, she finished with a soft smile. She held Joan tight and kissed her temple as the ill girl began to calm down. “So how about we watch some movies? Will that help at all Little Lamb?”, Joan nodded and looked up at the queen, “Can we watch Aritocats..?”, Jane nodded and turned on the Tv and put on the movie. They laid back comfortably and started to watch. Joan moved to lay on Jane’s chest and that's how she stayed till her bandmates came home to find her sleeping while Jane continued her book.

“Good job Seymour, thank you”, Bessie whispered as she moved the tired blonde from Jane to her room. The Taller women gave a small smile as she left, thankful that she helped the ill girl when she needed it most.

-----------------------------------------

wow okay I stayed up till 5AM to finish this while also drugged up on adderall and I think it actually turned out kinda good, i mean i still suck at writing but hey what can’ya do? and its my first angsty kinda fic so it prolly sucks more lol

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pixiegrl · 4 years ago

Note

prompts! maybe “I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn’t want to wake you.” with maybe malum? it feels like a malum prompt to me

Maggie! I love this so much! @tirednotflirting wrote about a malum wedding last week and it made me think of this! I hope you enjoy it! (also shout out to @pushkinalexander who read it and then yelled at me for never showing her the 5sos dogs lol)

As always, its on ao3 too (https://archiveofourown.org/works/25958740)

Michael is peaceful when he sleeps. It’s nice getting to watch him like this, face relaxed as he nuzzles into his pillow. He looks young and soft, burrowing into the warmth that’s coming off of Calum. He reminds him of Moose like this, hair fluffy and soft, curled up with his head resting on Calum’s arm. Cal has lost the feeling in his arm about 20 minutes ago from where Michael has been laying on it, but he can’t bear to tell Michael to move.

Cal doesn’t want to wake Michael up. He looks so peaceful and this is probably the most sleep either of them have gotten in the last few weeks with the prep going on for Luke and Ashton’s wedding. They’ve been left in charge of all the last minute changes: the freak out Luke had when he realized his suit pants were too short, when Ashton had a meltdown over the flight for his mum, when Lauren and Harry got delayed and he thought it was going to ruin everything. There had been one moment when Luke had called Michael and Ashton had called Calum, the both of them freaking out about the wedding, the possibility that the other doesn’t love him as much, that this whole thing is just a long joke waiting for the punchline. They’d been talked down and reassured that they already have almost 10 years of love between them and the wedding is just an extension of their love.

Helping them plan their wedding; ironing out the kinks, fixing the problems, had reminded Calum of how much he loves Michael. He’s loved Michael since he was a kid and he loves him even more now, as his boyfriend, getting to watch Michael doing things like scrunch his nose up in his sleep like Moose does or when he yells at his video games or whines when he’s been awake for too long. It’s sweet and wonderful and Calum wants to spend the rest of his life with Michael.

Michael peaks one eye open, looking up at Calum. Calum smiles down at him.

“Morning sweetheart.”

“What ‘ime is it?”

“Almost 8am.”

Michale groans, trying to burrow further back into the pillow. Moose perks up at the end of the bed, realizing that Michael’s awake and excitedly makes her way up the bed to lick Michael’s face. Michael half-heartedly tries to bat her away, giving up and scratching her head when she starts to lick him even harder, tail wagging.

“Why do we have to be up so early?”

“The wedding’s today. We gotta get up and eat something. God knows how long everything is gonna be and when we’ll actually get to eat dinner.”

Michael looks at Calum, wide-eyed and confused. “You mean I’m awake and there isn’t even food yet?”

“I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn’t want to wake you.”

Michael whines, flopping onto his back and covering his eyes. Moose gives up her licking, snuggling down into the open space between Michael and Calum. Calum sits up, trying to shake feeling back into his arm.

“If you’re not up in 10 minutes I’m going to send Duke after you,” Calum says, getting up and scooping Duke up from where he’s been sitting at the end of the bed, head cocked to the side, watching them. Michael grumbles, waving his hand at Calum.

Calum sets Duke down once he’s made it to the kitchen, rummaging around to find something he can make that he knows Michael will like and will also stop him from getting hungry and cranky halfway through the ceremony. He sets about trying to make eggs and the tea that Michael’s taken to drink instead of coffee. He gives Michael 5 minutes before he sends Duke in to wake Michael up. He hears a shout from the bedroom and Michael stumbles into the kitchen mumbling that he’s up. Moose and Southy follow closely behind him, barking for breakfast.

Michael comes up behind Cal, dropping his head down into Calum’s shoulder, and wrapping his arms around Cal’s waist.

“Do you think Luke and Ashton will let me out of the wedding if I tell them I don’t feel good?”

“I think Luke would have a meltdown in the middle of the room and Ashton would immediately hunt you down and drag you to the wedding if you made Luke cry.”

“Can’t I go back to sleep? It’s not even 9am. Why do I have to be up so early?”

“We have a whole day ahead of us. We have to run interference on the set-up. Besides, if you had gone to sleep at a reasonable time instead of playing games all night you wouldn’t be so tired.”

Michael huffs lightly, burying his face into Calum’s neck, and pressing a gentle kiss to Cal’s shoulder. Calum tries to turn his head slightly to press a kiss to the top of Michael’s head and is only vaguely succeeding. Calum can feel Michael smile anyway where his face is still pressed to Calum’s skin.

Standing like this, curled up in each other and making breakfast, Calum is struck by how domestic it all feels. He’s been doing this with Michael for years ever since the guys moved from London to LA and bought separate places, but it strikes him in that moment how at home he feels doing this. Making breakfast for Michael while he whines about being up so early, getting ready to go see Luke and Ashton. Calum has never felt more comfortable or at peace than he does right now.

“Hey, Mikey?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever thought about getting married?”

Michael lifts his head to look at Calum, “You mean as a concept or as in ‘do I think about us getting married’?” Because my answer depends on the question,”

Calum frowns. Surely, Michael and he are on the same page. They’ve been together since they were fifteen and realized that “just friends” don’t have thoughts about kissing their friends and holding their hand (although 5sos may be unique. Luke’s been holding all of their hands since long before he and Ashton started doing it. He still does it, whining until someone grabs his hand and squeezes it). Calum’s thought about marrying Michael vaguely over the years, but they’d all been too busy between tours and albums to really talk about it. Now, they’re on a break between WWJ and releasing CALM. It’s the perfect time for them to sit down and talk about their future. Calum wants to get married. Wants to be able to wear a ring and show everyone that Michael is his and he is Michael’s. Get to gush about him in interviews and on stage. Get to kiss him in public. Calum thought Michael wanted that too, but now he’s unsure.

“You’re doing it again Cal.”

“Doing what?”

“Overthinking it. You’re doing that thing you do where you take my words and over analyze them until you’ve created the idea of what you think they are instead of just asking me. So, ask me the question properly this time.”

Calum takes a deep breath, “Have you, Michael Clifford, thought about marriage or marrying me?”

Michael smiles softly, “Of course I have, darling. As a concept, I think marriage is silly and the whole point of it is to have an excuse to throw a party and spend money and you shouldn’t need something big and flashy to tell your family and friends how much you love another person,” Calum’s heart sinks, “But marrying you? I’d do it tomorrow if you’d let me. I want to get up there and tell everyone how much you mean to me. That I want to spend the rest of my life with you, making you smile. I want you to get me up far too early in the morning and drink your too strong tea. I want to keep making music with you and writing songs about you and getting to stand on stage every night and tell everyone how much I love you. I want to have a wedding that’ll be better than Luke and Ashton’s because they don’t get to be cuter than us, we’ve been together longer. I want to get up there in front of everyone we know and tell them I want to spend everyday with you because you’re like another half of my soul and I can’t live without you. So yes, Calum Hood, I have thought about marrying you and I would love to do that.”

Calum turns back to the stove, blushing slightly. Michael always seems to know exactly what Calum’s thinking, what he’s feeling. It really does feel like they’re half of each other's souls. Calum is never alone if he’s got Michael there, telling him what sounds best in a song or what they should eat for dinner or what movie they should watch. He’s always had Michael, will always have Michael, but the idea of getting to publicly say it, to tell everyone how he feels, is overwhelming and comforting.

“Have you thought about marrying me?” Michael asks.

Calum pauses, “Every day since the first time we kissed I’ve thought about marrying you and what it would be like. I want to get up there and give a cheesy speech about how you mean the world to me, so that our moms will cry. I want to tell the whole world every night on stage about how you’re the love of my life. I want to listen to you play your games and yell at Luke when he makes you lose and get to wake up next to you all the time. I can’t imagine it would change our lives that much, but I want to do it. I want to get married.”

“Did you just propose to me?”

“Haven’t asked the question yet. I don’t even have a ring.” That’s a lie. Calum has had a ring since Ashton asked him to go ring shopping for Luke. It’s hidden inside one of the cases for Calum’s bass, where he knows Michael won’t go poking around. He even has a vague idea of how he wants to propose. He’s just waiting for their anniversary to roll around.

Michael hums lightly into Calum’s shoulder. “How long do you think we have to wait after the wedding to get engaged so Luke won’t say we did it on purpose to take away the spotlight?”

“Well, if I tell you it won’t be a surprise, now will it?” Calum says, smiling when Michael whines in response. “Besides I have to come up with something romantic to do. You said you didn’t want Luke and Ashton to be cuter than us. Now come on, the food’s ready and we have to start getting dressed.”

Calum manages to get Michael to eat something, to feed the dogs, and get them out the door with enough time to get to the wedding. It manages to go off without any issues and it isn’t until later, while Michael and Calum are sitting watching the first dance, that Michael leans over and says, “You know, if we have the dogs be the ring bearers we’d already win for cuter wedding.”

Calum huffs out a laugh and kisses Michael softly. “Only if you let Moose be the flower girl.”

#5 seconds of summer #5sos #malum #michael clifford #calum hood #my writing #i wanted cute and sappy wedding stuff so here you go #please enjoy maggie #calumsclifford

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mobbinholland · 5 years ago

Note

Hi! Saw that you were taking requests and I was wondering if i could have a tom imagine? Angst but ends with a fluff? The reader stays up since tom wasn't home and she's pregnant but tom doesn't know. They got in a fight which revealed he was planning on breaking up with? The reader left in tears but after weeks of ignoring each other they finally made up? I hope it made sense lol thank you! ❤

i’m so excited for this awh:( :)

•••

2:43 am

the red bold number were bright on the clock on your night stand. and tom still wasnt home. it’s been like this for two weeks. where you stayed up just for him to come him. he always had excuses ready

had extra work to do

trying to get extra hours

was late today so i had to stay late

and after every excuse was baby, darling, angel, love. all those little cute names he knew won you over each time. but this time was different. you haven’t had the time to tell tom that you were three months pregnant. because.... he hasn’t been here. you had everything planned out.

when tom would get home around 7:30 pm , your ask him to bring you a fork that you forgot to grab as you eat dinner. you would switch the silverware drawer with a binkie, a bib, and a onesie that read “my daddy is the best.” you imagined toms face. surprised but so excited.

you hear the door shut and lock. a wave of relief went over you. you hear the keys hit the counter and footsteps up the stairs. you couldn’t see him right now so you walked over to the bathroom and sat on your vanity. you combed through your hair and you hear the door open slowly. you figured tom didn’t want to wake you. he shuts it but sees the bathroom light on. he walks over and stops when he sees you.

“darling , what are you doing up ? it’s 3 o—.”

“3 o’clock in the morning tom. i know.” you say still looking in the mirror. “where were you?”

“i had to finish up a job baby you know how it is.” he walked behind you and placed his hands on your shoulders but you were emotionless. surprising since your hormones are all over the place.

“God — fuck tom!” you yell as you stood up and stormed back into the bedroom. “it’s always something with you! extra work! had to stay ! had to finish! for two goddamn fucking weeks!” you continue to yell. “how does it make any since for you to be coming home at three o’clock in the morning?!”

“i’m trying to do this for us y/n! i’m trying to make extra hours for the BOTH of us! why the fuck can’t you understand that!?” tom yells back at you.

you felt you blood boil. you turned and stood in front of him “SO WHAT?! what are you not understanding tom? three o’clock in the fucking morning? when you would come home at eight. at the most! fuck tom just fucking be honest!” you yelled at him. you were now scared for his answer.

“yeah well i’m here now aren’t i y/n?!” he yells

“that doesn’t mean anything tom! i needed you here before. now and in the future! what the hell are you doing aft—“ he cuts you off.

“I was planning for this to be over !” he yells back and you felt your heartbreak. slowly but surely. “this !” he points back and forth between the two of you “this is fucking working anymore! you wanna know where i’ve been? i’ve been either at harrison’s or OUT with harrison! you think i’d cheat on you? i still fucking love you but i can’t — this isn’t working.”

every word that came out of toms mouth tore you apart. you felt you eyes swelling up with water. all you could say is

okay

you turned and headed for the closet. you grabbed a little bag but big enough. you went to your side of the shared dresser. grabbed anything you could fit.

“wait y/n.” tom said quietly. you shook your head and put on your slides and headed down stairs. you grabbed your keys off the kitchen island and headed for the door

“y/n/n im sorry. i-i didn’t mean it!” tom yells after you. you open then door and say “yes you did. and i’m three months tom.” your heart broke because then your plan. your perfect plan was ruined

“w-what? like pregnant ?” his face lit up a bit. the way you imagined but he was still hurt in a way

“yeah.” you walked out the door before he could say anything and headed toward your car.

it’s been a week and two days after you left tom standing in front of the door as you left. you decided to go to your moms house. she was so happy to see you but she was hurt because you stood on the porch crying when she opened the door. she took you in her arms and guided you into the house.

it was morning but almost noon when you were eating cereal and watching cartoons. like you use to do as a kid. your mom kept an eye on you while she was tidying up around the house. you wanted to help but she insisted you just sat down. she knew about the baby before tom did. in fact, she was the first person you told. she was estatic to be a grandma.

“y/n/n , do you wanna go look at stuff for the baby?” she calls out from the kitchen. your heart ached because you came to the realization you were going to raise this baby on your own. but it wasn’t right yet.

“no ma, it doesn’t seem right yet.” you say. your mother walks over to the couch and sits next to you.

“baby, it’s always fun seeing all the little shoes and headbands. let’s just g—.”

the door bell rings. you figured your father just forgot his keys. your mom says hold on and got up to get the door. your attention goes back to the tv.

“tom?” you hear your mother say. your heart skipped a beat. you set the bowl in the coffee table and looked over towards the door. “yes yes, she’s in here.” your mom says and the angel voice says thank you and you see his figure stand between the tile and carpet. “i’ll give you guys time.” your mom says and she heads up stairs.

you were nervous. why did he come now ? you figured he had found someone else maybe. even though he loved you.

“y/n.... i’m sorry. i didn’t mean a word i said. i was out with harrison but, just everything was so stressful at work and with everything. i just didn’t want to lash out on you. i didn’t want to take my frustrations out on you.” he says

“but you did.... tom you did.” you say low and quite

“i know but i didn’t want to. i just didn’t know how to. i didn’t want you to be stressed because of what i was going though baby.”

“tom, we are suppose to be a team. i don’t care what you’re going through. i’ll be here every step.” you place your hand on top of his.

“and now ... you’re having a baby.” he says looking down at your stomach. not really showing yet but it’s there. you nod and a tear rolls down your cheek. he looks at you and wipes it away.

“it’s me and you baby i promise. well me you and baby actually.” you both chuckle

“i’m sorry i still want you. in every way. i’ll communicate i promise. i’m sorry.” he says as he wraps his arm around you. you smile. “i know tommy. i know.” he kisses your forehead and you smile.

“okay now can we go baby shopping?” you hear your mother come from the stairs. both you and tom laugh and you both agreed.

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softdreamyhours · 5 years ago

Text

more than a stranger | L.Mark

genre: angst, fluff, fwb!au cliche ik

pairing: mark lee x reader

word count: 5.4k

warnings: swearing, alcohol and some suggestive themes

request: yes, im sorry it took so long to actually write

authors note: im back bitches.

friday

You knew it was a terrible idea the second the words fell from his mouth but the way his sparkling hazel eyes bored into your own duller ones, the way his lips curved up at the corners to form a small smirk on his face, the way his black hoodie hung from his broad shoulders and the way all of this made you feel caused a reaction in your stomach you had never felt before. You rack your brain for a good reason to say yes because you so desperately want to, but every single fibre in your being is screaming ‘no, run away!’

You know and understand how much saying yes to this ridiculous idea will hurt you and you feel your head begin to shake in disagreement, however your insides lurch once again when he raises his eyebrows slightly waiting for your answer. You think over his suggestion some more, the thought of being able to fool around and spend time with such a captivating man makes your heart rate increase tenfold and you eventually feel your head nodding in agreement giving in to the mesmerizing look on his face and you watch as his smile widens at your answer. Once he gets the consent he needs Mark Lee takes one step closer to you, his frame is now towering over your own and his chest brushes over yours as he breathes, he reaches forward, placing his warm hand near your elbow before sliding it down your wrist slowly, you soon feel his fingertips against your palm and not long after that his fingers slide between yours.

“Now?” he whispers, you feel his warm breath breeze over your cheeks and you tilt your head upwards so that you are looking into his eyes.

Nodding slowly in reply you feel Mark tighten the grip he has on your fingers slightly causing a feeling of warmth to run up your arm, he then pulls you out of the soundless kitchen and guides you up the stairs away from the booming speakers and sweaty bodies and into a much quieter bedroom.

saturday

Laying on top of your bed staring at the bland ceiling of your bedroom you reminisce over the way Mark had made you feel last night. You were not sure what to expect but you certainly did not expect him to be as sweet as he was. The man made you feel special and wanted, as if whatever the two of you are doing is more than ‘just a fling’. You remember the feeling of Marks lips on your skin, the way his hot breaths fanned over your cheeks. Your stomach burned at the thought of his skin touching yours, you missed it. You missed him.

Shaking your head you groan loudly and roll over onto your side, you knew this would happen, you were just expecting the hurt to hold off for a little longer. You were hoping to be able to enjoy some of your time with Mark before the pain began to set in. However your emotions have failed you and there has been a dull ache sitting in your chest cavity, right about where your heart is situated, since the night you had spent with him and nothing you have been doing for the whole day has been able to lessen the sting.

monday

You walk onto campus tired and not in the mood for lectures. As you make your way across the courtyard your mind begins to wander about everything that is going to happen today and all the work you are probably going to get, when suddenly you remember that Mark Lee will be in the same lecture as you this morning. The thought of seeing him again makes your stomach drop and a sudden wave of nerves flows through your body, you have no idea what you are going to say to him, what do you say to a person you have a huge crush on? A person who you don’t really know extremely well who you just happened to have sex with two nights ago?

For the rest of your walk to the lecture hall you go over all the possible scenarios that may unravel when you speak to Mark this morning, and by the time you make your way through the doors you feel ready to answer any question he may ask you. You glance up and see him sitting with a few of his friends to the right of the hall and so you begin walking in that direction. When you get closer you see Marks’ eyes scan the room quickly and you get ready to send him a small smile when his eyes meet yours, however they don’t and it’s as if you aren’t even there. The man turns back to his friends and falls back into the conversation again smoothly, your steps falter slightly out of light surprise and you end up stumbling a little bit. Maybe he didn’t see you?

“You good?” you hear someone say and look up to see Johnny, one of Marks’ friends laughing softly.

“I’m good,” you offer him a smile back knowing he’s not being rude.

During the whole interaction with Johnny, Mark does not spare you a single glance so with a confused mind and a slightly red face you make your way to the back of the hall and take a seat.

Halfway through your lecture your phone vibrates on the small desk you are sitting at, sighing softly you pick it up and see a text from an unknown number.

From: unknown.

wanna meet up after class ;)

You furrow your brow in confusion and try and figure out who this person is, not knowing you decide to text them back and ask.

To: unknown.

who is this?

You turn your phone over and leave it next to you so that you are able to focus on the lecture once more. After a few minutes of taking down notes your phone buzzes once again and you pick it up, when you read the text your breath hitches in your throat.

From: unknown.

mark lee

You feel your cheeks burn and you quickly lock your phone and shove it in your backpack, not sure what to do or how to respond. You place your chin in one of your hands and face the front but you can no longer focus on what your lecturer is saying, your thoughts are fully focused on Mark Lee, who is sitting a few rows in front of you, who couldn’t even look at you this morning and who now wants to meet up after class? It just doesn’t make any sense to you. Yet, for some reason, your heart flutters slightly and a small smile grows on your face. Mark went out of his way to get your number to contact you because the two of you did not exchange numbers the last time you were together and that simple thought makes you think that, maybe, you can go through with this whole absurd idea.

“You got his number?” One of your friends gasps loudly.

“Quiet, please.” You almost wine, looking around the little coffee shop the two of you are sitting at to see if anyone heard her.

“Come on, no one knows who were talking about.” She rolls her eyes.

You just shake your head and take a sip of your drink.

“So how did you get it?” She asks, leaning over the table towards you with an eager face, ready to hear the whole story.

“Well,” you mumble, “he texted me first.” You say softly feeling your face heat up and you can only imagine how red your cheeks must be.

“What?” She whisper yells.

You nod your head and smile at her feeling giddy.

“So let me get this straight,” she begins, “your long time crush, Mark Lee himself, went out of his way to get your number,” she says raising her eyebrows, as if she is checking that she has understood everything you told her so far, “he then texts you asking if you want to meet up after class?” She checks.

You nod your head to confirm that she has got everything right so far.

“But you didn’t reply?” She asks astounded.

“Yeah,” you mumble, looking down at the table.

“What is wrong with you?” She exclaims.

You just shrug, not sure how to answer her. You came to have some coffee with your wisest friend because you are in desperate need of some advice about how to go about the very questionable circumstance you are in, however you did not tell her the whole story. All you told her is that you bumped into him at the party on Friday and that the two of you chatted for a while, you also told her about how he ignored you in the morning but then texted you a few minutes later. You made the choice to ‘forget’ to tell her about the part where he dicked you down pretty damn good.

“Seriously,” she shakes her head, “dumb move on your part.” She giggles softly.

“No,” you start to defend yourself, “why did he ignore me in the morning then?”

“He was probably nervous,” she tells you.

You can’t help but roll your eyes at her words, if only she knew the whole story.

“Reply now.” She instructs, placing her hand on the table palm facing up.

You look down at her hand briefly and then move your eyes back up to her face to give her a puzzled look.

“Phone.” She deadpans.

“No.” You say firmly, “I can reply to my own text messages, thank you.” You say.

“Clearly you can’t,” she rolls her eyes, referring to your inability to answer the message when it first came through.

After a few more minutes of bickering between the two of you she eventually manages to persuade you to let her text Mark back on your behalf.

To: Mark Lee

sorry for the late reply, we could meet up now if you’re free? : )

You nod your head gently when you read over the text your friend sent.

“See,” she says, “I didn’t sabotage you or whatever you thought I was going to do.”

You chuckle and shake your head, but your smile falls and you almost throw your phone across the room when you see an incoming phone call from Mark.

“That was quick,” your friend mutters.

“What do I do?” You ask, panicked.

“Answer!” Your friend almost shouts at you, dumbfounded by your idiocy.

“H-hello?” You stutter as you place your phone against your ear.

“Hey,” Mark answers, “where do you want to meet?”

“Uh…” You trail off, not knowing what to say.

“My place, or yours?” He asks.

“Mine is g-good.” You tell him and squeeze your eyes shut in annoyance at yourself for not being able to talk to him with a steady voice.

“Great, I’ll see you in ten.” He tells you before hanging up.

“Well?” Your friend asks, looking at you with expectant eyes.

“He said that he’ll see me in ten,” you mumble, still stunned by what just went down.

“Then you better get going!” She tells you, ushering you to leave.

You rush into your apartment and manage to clean it and yourself up before Mark knocks on your door and the one and only thing you think about the whole time you are doing this is what you are going to say to him, are you going to bring up the fact that he ignored you or just forget it?

When you hear the knock on your door you jump slightly before you take a slow walk to open the door so you are able to take a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm your nerves.

“Hey,” you say as you open the door.

You look up and run your eyes up and down Marks figure quickly, he looks breath-taking.

“Hi,” he smiles stepping in through the door.

Before you have a chance to say anything else Mark captures your lips with his own in a soft yet heated kiss and the moment you feel his mouth on yours and his arms around your waist all conscience thought leaves you and you feel a fire begin to burn inside of you.

“Room,” Mark mumbles as his lips move from your mouth to your jaw.

“What?” you ask his out of breath.

“Where’s your bedroom,” he says more clearly this time before sucking on your neck.

When you realise what he wants the two of you stumble your way over to your bedroom, lips never leaving each other’s for a moment.

wednesday

“You’re so beautiful,” Mark mumbles before leaving a lingering kiss on your lips.

The two of you are standing in the small entryway of your apartment, him in some sweatpants and a t-shirt and you in nothing but the hoodie he was wearing when he arrived earlier on in the evening. His eyes have a noticeable glint of affection in them and your already red face gains even more colour at his words.

“You too,” you whisper awkwardly, looking at the ground.

You hear a laugh make its way from Marks chest into the air around you and your stomach does a small flip at the sound.

“I’ll see you soon.” He dismisses himself with a few words and a small peck to the top of your head and after a small while it’s as if he was never even here.

thursday

Sighing into the receiver of your cell phone you let Mark know that you are busy and that now is not the best time to meet up.

“Please baby,” he says in a hushed, breathy tone.

You pause and look around the table you are sitting at, almost everyone has their nose buried in a text book and it hasn’t been a very enlightening study group anyway.

“Y/n?” Mark asks, in the same tone as before.

“Fine,” you mumble, “I’ll see you soon.”

Walking to Marks home you groan softly at the grip he has on your heart, you would be willing to drop everything you are doing at any given time to just spend ten minutes with the boy. You know all too well that he is going to whisper syrup-sweet words into your ears until his voice is the only thing you will ever want to hear again, then he will touch your body in such a way that within moments you are craving more, then he will help you experience pure bliss before swiftly sending you on your way only to call you again when he feels like it.

friday

You see him at the bar with his friends and send him a polite wave however his eyes just scan your body quickly and then move to look at the guys he is with, continuing his conversation with them. Your heart sinks and the only thing you feel like doing know is going home, instead you turn to the bartender and order a shot.

“Let’s get out of here,” a familiar voice whispers into your ear later on in the evening.

You feel your heart rate pick up and at first it is out of anger, you are angry at the fact the Mark only seems to want to be with you when it suits him, but then he whispers into your ear what your outfit is doing to him and now your heart is beating faster for another reason and you find yourself letting the man escort you out of the bar and into his car.

tuesday

You lay on your back staring at your blank ceiling breathing heavily, turning your head to the side you smile softly and watch Marks back muscles flex as he puts his t-shirt on.

“I’ll see you soon,” the boy mumbles turning to face you. He leaves a quick peck on your forehead before making his way out of your bedroom.

Your heart aches when you hear your front door close and you lay in silence for a few moments just like you have been doing for the past few weeks and you soon feel a tear run down your temple, you turn over onto your side and pull your knees up against your chest and feel more tears fall down your face.

“I don’t think you can take any more of this,” you whisper to yourself knowing that the pain was becoming way more evident than the pleasure.

With a heavy heart you reach for your phone and open your chat with Mark.

To: Mark

Please don’t come over again.

After you send the message you block and delete his number, salty tears are still flowing as you do this but you keep reminding yourself that the agony of not seeing him again will be way better than the agony of continuing your little ‘relationship’.

sunday

“Woah,” your friend says letting out a long breath.

“Yeah,” you reply in the same manner.

After ending whatever you had with Mark you locked yourself up in your room, not even bothering to attend lectures, your friend decided to bombard you with questions until you caved and told her everything. So you did. You told her all about how Mark made you feel, how he always came into your bedroom and kissed you like you were the only person in the world and then left like it meant absolutely nothing, how at home he made you feel like nothing else mattered besides the two of you but in public you were nothing more than a stranger.

“What an asshole,” she mumbles.

“Not really,” you sigh, “I knew it was a bad idea.”

“I don’t even know what to say.” Your friend sighs.

You just shrug in reply, your heart still aches at the thought of him. You have fallen in love with the Mark that came over almost every night and spoke to you with his honey-like voice and who touched you so gently it made you feel like you were the most precious thing but you grew to hate the Mark you saw in public who never spoke a word to you and the confusion that caused burned a whole into your heart that you are not sure you will ever be able to fill again.

monday

Walking to lectures was torturous, your thoughts were being torn in two different directions. On one hand you did want to pass and get your degree and for that to happen you needed to attend lectures, but on the other hand you know that walking into the lecture hall and seeing Mark will cause your emotions to bite down on your heart so hard that the hole that is already there will grow and cause you more pain.

When you step into the lecture hall you make an effort to keep your head held down in case he happened to be in the room already.

“Y/n?” You hear someone say, they sound confused.

You glance up quickly and see Johnny standing up and looking at you with a surprised expression covering his features.

“Hey,” you mumble, trying to force a smile but you know you probably look slightly insane.

“You’re back.” He states, smiling.

Seeing Johnnys’ smile causes the forced smile on your own face to become more realistic, he has always been sweet to you. Always said something to you every day, whether it be a simple ‘hello’ or ‘you cut your hair? It looks nice.’ But your smile falls from your face when you look around him and find Mark staring at you.

The two of you look into each other’s eyes for a second or two before you drop your gaze to the floor. You swallow hard to suppress the tears that are forming in your eyes before looking up again at Johnny to give him a quick smile before walking away from the group of guys to find an empty desk as far away from Mark Lee as possible.

After the lecture you wait until everyone has left the hall so you can minimise the probability of you bumping into Mark. You realise that you might be acting slightly childish but you really don’t think you will be able see him and not cry, the wound that’s been created is still fresh.

You sigh as you pick up your backpack and head out of the empty lecture hall, as you walk out of the door and turn to your left to make your way home someone calls out your name and you hear footsteps jog towards you.

“Johnny?” You say confused.

“Hey,” he smiles, “how are you doing?”

“I’m okay,” you tell him, trying your best to return his smile.

“You didn’t look to good this morning,” he says looking down, “I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“That’s really sweet,” you say feeling your insides become warm at the man’s kindness.

Johnny just shrugs in reply and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“Do you want to maybe,” Johnny pauses and shrugs again before continuing, “go for coffee?”

“Sure,” you chuckle, nodding your head.

You and Johnny end up sitting in a café just off campus for three hours talking about everything that came to mind, you could really feel a connection between the two of you. The man was absolutely hilarious and it feels like he really understands you, in a way only someone who has known for years would understand you.

“Thanks,” you say to Johnny, who is standing in front of you, “I had a good time this afternoon.”

“Me too,” he replies smiling softly, “I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asks, referring to the class you share with him.

You nod your head and grin at him before turning around and making your way into your building. Walking up the stairs towards your small apartment you smile at the thought of having another friend to confide in and lean on when need be.

“Hello,” you hear a familiar voice say, pulling you away from your thoughts.

You look up and see Mark Lee standing at your front door. The smile that was previously covering your features immediately falls at the sight of him and the throbbing of your heart that you had thought began to fade returned.

“W-what are you doing here?” You stutter out, still shocked by his arrival.

“I guess I just wanted to see you.” The boy shrugs.

You roll your eyes at his response and push past him so that you are able to unlock your door, you know exactly what he means by “see” and you are most definitely not in the mood.

“Well then I ought to apologize,” you tell him feeling a sudden surge of confidence run through your veins.

“What?” Mark asks confused.

“Because I don’t particularly want to see you.” You say strongly before closing the door in his face.

After locking the door you stare at the closed entrance for a few moments catching your breath, you then feel your legs buckle slightly beneath you as the adrenalin that was previously running through your body leaves your veins.

“No, what the fuck.” You hear Marks voice come from outside, he sounds frustrated, “y/n, please just let me in.”

Listening to his angered yet still wildly enduring voice makes your heart rate increase and a lump to form in your throat, squeezing your eyes shut to prevent any tears from falling you shake your head vigorously. Your brain and heart are in a heated argument much like the one they had on the first night of your intense ordeal with Mark. Your brain is yelling at you to ignore him and save yourself the extended heartbreak of talking to him again but your heart longs for his arms to be wrapped around you, engulfing your body in his warm embrace.

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” Mark interrupts your thought process, “I don’t care how long I have to wait.”

Sighing loudly, you fan your face trying to cool down your burning cheeks, the last thing you want to do in front of Mark Lee is cry. After a couple of deep breaths and a short pep talk you decide to open the door, when you do you see a surprised but still slightly aggravated man standing in front of you.

“What do you want to talk about?” You question bitterly.

“Just explain to me why you don’t want to see me anymore.” He says shrugging softly, his eyes not letting their gaze on your own fall.

“I don’t owe you an explanation,” you say flatly, placing your hands on your hips in hopes that your defensive attitude will mask your true emotions.

“Actually you do,” he states shoving his hands into his pockets, looking at you with an expectant gaze.

“Actually I don’t,” you mimic his tone, wanting the conversation to end as soon as possible.

“Actually you do.” Mark demands, you can see that he is getting frustrated, “you can’t just leave me hanging like that y/n.”

“I’m sorry if I wounded your ego, tough guy.” You tell him, the confidence from earlier returning, “but I just wasn’t feeling it anymore.” You lie.

“Oh please,” he sighs, “I can see right through you y/n, tell me the truth.”

The confidence leaves your body as quickly as it arrives when you hear his words. During the time you spent with Mark the two of you did learn almost everything about one another.

“I just couldn’t do it anymore,” you answer eventually, giving up the façade you had put up to protect your dignity and hide your true emotions.

“Why not?” He questions.

Sighing deeply you glance up and into his eyes for a moment, he looks truly curious.

“Because Mark,” you say becoming frustrated, “I just can’t do this anymore.” You finish your sentence with a loud sigh.

“But why y/n?” he asks you again and you can see that he is also starting to get frustrated, “talk to me.”

“Because,” you say softly feeling all of your pent up emotions bubbling up, ready to burst. “Because I fell in love, Mark.” As you begin to confess your deepest darkest feelings to the boy standing in front of you, you feel a few salty tears roll down your cheeks. You shake your head a chuckle bitterly, your feelings of dejectedness and loneliness turning into feelings of fury instead. “I fell in love with a boy who came over almost every night and treated me like an actual princess,” you say, your voice increasing in volume as you carry on, “I fell in love with a guy who acts like I don’t exists when he sees me anywhere else that isn’t my bedroom.”

Sending a glare across the room to Mark you run the palms of your hands over your cheeks riding them of the sticky feeling covering them caused by the tears that fell over them. You watch as Mark just stares at you with a look on his face that you cannot read.

“You’re in love with me?” He asks bewildered after a deafening silence.

You scoff and roll your eyes in reaction, “is that seriously all you got from what I just said?”

“Are you?” He asks, a smirk beginning to spread over his lips.

Shaking your head firmly, you feel your heart drop slightly at his expression, “just go home Mark, you got what you wanted and I am definitely not in the mood to be rejected or made fun of for whatever this one-sided relationship is.”

Walking to your front door with your head lowered in embarrassment you don’t notice how quickly the smile falls off of Marks features when he catches a small glimpse of hurt in your eyes. You open the door once you reach it so that Mark will be able to leave, but he begins to protest.

“Wait,” he starts, taking a step closer to you but you interrupt him before he can continue.

“Please go Mark.” You whisper, your voice not being stable enough to properly talk.

“I don’t want to,” he says stubbornly and you look at him in disbelief.

“Mark,” you warn, “leave.”

“No.”

“Oh my god,” you say, voice raised slightly, “are you so desperate to humiliate me that you won’t even leave my own house?” You question him, not able to process that someone could ever be so spiteful.

“Y/n, let m-” Mark tries to answer but you cut him off once again.

“Look I’m sorry that I don’t want to play your little game anymore Mark,” you’re yelling now, looking him dead in the eyes, “but you don’t get to come into my life, turn it upside down and then laugh about it later.”

“Does it look like I am laughing right now y/n?” The boy yells right back at you.

Your breath catches in your throat and you pause, shocked at his sudden outburst. Mark places his hands on his hips and gives you a serious look.

“If you would just give me a chance to explain myself,” he says calmly, taking slow steps toward you, “you would know that I happen to be in love with you too.”

By the time the boy has finished his sentence he is standing right in front of you, looking up into his eyes you process what he just said and once his words have sunken in you feel your mind flood with confusion.

“What?” You whisper, more to yourself than the person standing just a few centimetres away from you.

“I am so deeply in love with you y/n.” Mark states, placing one of his hands against yours and intertwining your fingers with his own.

“But when you saw me on campus…” You’re whispering still, thoughts only becoming more muddled.

You hear Mark sigh deeply and feel his other hand wrap around your free one so that both of your hands are laced together with his, “I know, I acted like a complete asshole.” Hearing his confession stunned you because the last thing you expected the boy in front of you to do is admit that he has been in the wrong.

“I don’t even know why I did that,” he carries on, “I guess I was scared?” His last sentence falls off of his lips as more of a question than anything else.

“Scared?” You ask softly, squeezing his hands, the anger and tension that was pent up in your body fading away and a feeling of worry and protectiveness comes to replace it.

“I don’t know.” Mark groans throwing his head back, frowning, “feelings are so hard.” He whines.

“They are,” you agree laughing softly at how adorably relatable he is being right now.

thursday

Soon after the argument and make-up session you had with Mark the two of you walk onto campus hand in hand. Feeling the happiest you have in a long while you laugh at something your new boyfriend just said as you make your way into the lecture hall.

“What do we have here?” A puzzled voice asks and you look away from Mark to see Johnny looking at you two with a furrowed brow.

Both you and Mark are at a loss for words, and have no idea how to explain to anyone what the both of you have been through to get to where you are now.

“So you’re together?” Johnny clarifies after a brief and not very detailed explanation from you.

“Yes.” Mark answers, nodding his head.

“I didn’t even know you guys were friends to be honest,” Johnny shakes his head, obviously not completely understanding everything.

“Yeah Mark,” you say raising your eyebrows in his direction, “I didn’t even know we were friends.” Your accusatory tone causes your boyfriends cheeks to lose their colour and you can’t help but smile softly, you have put everything behind you but still, it’s fun to tease him every now and again.

“Okay, I’m going to ignore that,” Johnny says warily, backing away slightly, “but congrats, you guys look good together.”

A large smile forms on your face at the tall man’s words and you and Mark make your way over to some empty seats. The both of you sit down and the palm of one of Marks hands habitually places itself onto your thigh.

“We do make cute couple don’t we?” You whisper, leaning close to Marks ear and you can’t stop the grin that covers your features when a light blush forms on the boys cheeks.

#nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct imagine #nct scenario #nct mark #mark lee #lee mark #mark imagine #mark scenario #nct fluff #nct angst #mark lee angst #mark lee fluff

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rulesofthebeneath · 5 years ago

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@lookslikezombiesatbest @lilmissperfectlyimperfect :3

tw blood mention, child abuse mention

Chapter 5

Grace was lost.

Ever since Rory had left that morning, after an hour of running lines and another hour of trying to tease information about Grace’s crush out of her, Grace was alone. James and Erin were out on their date, Skye was completely unreachable, and Grace was too unreasonably irritated by Rory’s good-natured attempts at reconciling their friendship to talk to them about it.

That left one confidant for her, but he was the very one that Grace didn’t want to know about this. Everything around Ajay was so complex: her feelings for him, his supposed feelings for her, the juxtaposition of someone who’d recovered from cancer and someone who probably never would. Ajay was too good for her, too good to be hurt by her. Every time her thoughts wandered towards him, she shut herself up by imagining him at her funeral.

Deeper inside, her mind was like a tempest. Thoughts of wanting and needing the love and validation and just plain closeness that came with having close friends rose up and circled around before raining down as heavy guilt-hail, knowing that she was condemning each of them just by getting close.

Against her will, her fingers typed out a text to Ajay.

Grace: hey do u have a sec

Ajay: Are you okay?

Of course he’d ask if she was okay. It was just going to make her eventual death worse if he cared about her.

Grace: it’s weird but i kinda feel like i shouldn’t have friends, i’ll just end up making a lot of people sad when i die.

The words came out of her before she could stop them. She’d kept these thoughts to herself for far too long, and they spilled out of her.

Ajay: That’s how I felt when I was in treatment. Like I would only ever hurt people that I got close to.

Grace: but you were never actually going to die tho. it’s different

Ajay: 60%

Grace: ?

Ajay: You keep saying that I wasn’t actually going to die. The doctors said the survival rate for my cancer was 60%. That’s not exactly great odds, Grace. I was scared, too.

Grace immediately felt guilty. She’d always thought of osteosarcoma as a relatively easy cancer, just costing an arm or a leg before you were ready to go home and live a life in remission. Ajay seemed fine; it was hard to think about that just three years ago he could’ve died.

Grace: shit, im sorry

Ajay: No, it’s fine. But you should keep that in mind. I might have had less time to deal with what you’re dealing with, but I do understand it.

Grace: maybe. thanks for talking. i think i just held this inside for too long

Ajay: No problem.

Ajay: Actually, if you’re just sitting around, would you like some cookies? I made some extra.

Despite herself, Grace smiled. It would be a lot easier to face these feelings with another person, especially someone like him who drove all the thoughts out of her head and made her heart lighter than she’d thought it could ever be. Like it or not, she’d become addicted to him. Maybe if she could just keep him as a friend, she could find a way to suppress her feelings for him.

That thought flew out of her mind once her mother pulled up to Ajay’s house and saw her off with a knowing smile. She pushed her cart up to the Bhandari’s front door and rang the doorbell. She heard a lot of loud footsteps heading up to the door quickly, and backed up just before a small boy that looked almost exactly like Ajay threw the door open.

“Who are you?” he asked loudly. Not knowing what to say, Grace stuttered for a moment before Ajay came to the door wearing just a t-shirt and shorts, balancing on crutches. He didn’t have his prosthetic leg on, and once he saw Grace, he quickly turned red.

“Grace!” he said, gently pushing the kid out of the way and towards the kitchen. “Mo, go help amma finish packing, okay?”

“Okay bhai!” Mohit said happily and trotted off. Ajay nudged the door open with the leg of one of his crutches, and gestured Grace inside with a nod. She closed the door behind her. A woman called out to Ajay in a language Grace didn’t understand, and he responded with some equally incomprehensible words. A door slammed, and they were alone.

“My mom and Mohit are going camping,” Ajay explained.

“Clearly I surprised you,” Grace said, not sure where to start. She took him in: his stained yellow Cedar Cove Fair t-shirt, his ratty black gym shorts, the sliver of brown skin that peeked out from under the hem of his gym shorts. His face was flushed and his hair was mussed, and maybe it was just because she was surprised because of how dressed down he was, but she thought he looked beautiful.

“You didn’t respond to my text, otherwise I would’ve changed…” he said. “Actually, wait, let me go change right now.”

“No, wait,” Grace said, settling down on the couch that Ajay had clearly just vacated, because it was playing some show from the History Channel on mute. He stopped and pivoted.

“Remember what I said about not wanting to put on appearances for people I want to get close to? And anyways… I think you look nice like that.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I want to look homeless in front of the girl I have a crush on,” he said, a small smile on his face. Then, he turned and hopped down the hall, leaving Grace staring at him as he left.

Crush? Grace thought. So he DOES like me! She couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face, and how, regardless of any anxieties she might have had before, her mind just filled up with him. She knew it was a bad idea, but she just couldn’t bring herself to care right then. Crush!

He reappeared in the hallway, still legless but wearing a clean t-shirt and a pair of jeans pinned up on the left side. “Compromise,” he said.

I have a crush on you, too, she wanted to say. You look really hot in those jeans. Do you want to go get lunch? My treat, wherever you want to go.

Instead, she gestured to the TV and said, “What are you watching?”

He settled down next to her, closer than he would’ve usually been. Grace couldn’t tell if it was because of lack of balance on crutches, or because he’d wanted to be close to her. She figured it was both.

“Nothing special, just some documentary about swords,” he said, just as the screen did a cut-scene with flames as the transition.

“Dork,” Grace said, nudging him slightly. He shot her a grin. Even more beautiful, she thought.

“So where are those cookies?” she asked instead, and Ajay started to stand up to go find them but his left crutch got tangled in her cannula. His crutches crashed to the ground and he barely managed to catch himself on the coffee table, and Grace’s cannula was painfully yanked out of her nose.

She inhaled sharply at the pain and sudden motion, but she didn’t get enough air and the breath sent her into a coughing fit. Ajay struggled to prop himself up on the coffee table, and only when he was seated did he notice that Grace was struggling to breathe and coughing violently.

Grace had started to become dizzy from the lack of air, but she had enough presence of mind to ease the nubbins of the cannula back into her nose after she felt Ajay tuck the split lines of the cannula back behind her ears. She calmed down as the fresh oxygen tricked into her lungs and focused on breathing deeply and slowly, painfully swallowing the coughs. Throughout the process, Ajay's hands rested on the sides of her face, his worried expression coming back into view as her vision faded back in.

She closed her eyes and rested her cheek in his hand, trying to avoid the heat of shame spreading over her face like a blush, and trying to keep the tears that had formed in her eyes while she was coughing from rolling down her cheeks, but to her horror, they did anyways. Ajay made a concerned sound when he saw it, and then Grace felt the pad of his thumb pressed against her cheek, wiping the tears away.

Not wanting to seem any more pitiful than she already did, Grace reluctantly pulled away from Ajay’s hands, causing him to pull back as well, but he left one protective hand on her knee. She wiped the rest of the tears away and let out a forced laugh, which did a little bit to clear Ajay’s concerned expression.

“You okay?” Grace managed, her voice still a little weak from the debacle. She cleared her throat.

“I’m fine,” Ajay replied, his fingers rubbing the fabric of her jeans over her knee. “I hit my hip a little on the way down, but it’s nothing more than a bruise. I should be the one asking if you’re okay.”

“I’m okay now. Um, thanks,” she said, hesitating. “Thanks for helping with the cannula. And I’m sorry I tripped you.”

Ajay just shook his head, though a smile was the predominant expression on his face. “No need to be sorry. Let’s just chalk that up to an unfortunate accident, alright?”

Grace nodded, and Ajay’s hand on her knee came up to her shoulder and squeezed, a gesture that was purely friendly by all means but somehow felt more intimate with the way he looked into her eyes. She had to be careful not to stare into them for too long, or she’d get lost in them.

Luckily, before she had to make the choice to tear her eyes away from him or not, he broke the spell by leaning over to pick his crutches up off the ground and standing up, hopping into the kitchen and returning with a pan of cookies in a bag slung over his shoulder. He deposited the pan on the coffee table, then took his place back on the couch next to Grace and handed her a cookie.

“Here. To apologize for tripping over your cannula.”

Grace rolled her eyes. “Thanks. You’re forgiven.” She bit into the cookie.

Half an hour of conversation passed easily between the two, although it was increasingly filled with tempting glances and casual touches-- a shoulder shove, a playful poke-- that seemed too intense to be just friendly. The short time ended when Grace’s phone buzzed insistently from the table. Ajay handed it to her, and she answered the call. It was from Rory.

“Where are you?” they demanded, then paused. “Wait, never mind. I need you to come over.”

“What’s wrong?” Grace asked, put off by the anxiety she could hear in their voice. Ajay shot her a concerned look.

“It’s Skye. Look, can you just come over?”

“Sure. Uh, I’m with Ajay, so I’ll ask him to drive me over, we can be there in 20 minutes.”

“Oh, great, you’re with Ajay? We actually need him, too.”

“You need-- Rory, what’s going on?”

Over the line, Rory sighed. “Please just come over. I’ll explain it all to you then.” With that, the line went dead.

“What was that?” Ajay asked.

“Rory needs both of us over at their house. They said it’s something about Skye?”

Ajay’s eyes hardened, and Grace saw a terrifying darkness in his expression.

“Alright, come on.”

Without any further ado, Ajay propped himself back up into a standing position on his crutches and grabbed his car keys that were in a dish on the coffee table.

“Open the door for me, would you?”

Grace did so, and soon they were both in the car on the way to Rory’s house. Ajay bit his bottom lip, and then started talking.

“Listen, Grace, I’m not sure how much Skye has told you about her home life, and it’s not really my business to say, but it’s pretty well-known in the theatre program at Berry that her parents are assholes.”

Grace nodded. “She said something strange a few weeks ago, about them using her and her cancer to make money? But then she just dropped it and I didn’t want to bring it up again.”

“Probably best. Last year in our spring musical, her parents decided to sponsor a trip to compete in this theatre festival. But they also decided that that meant they got executive control over the show, and over her. They’re manipulative and horrible people, and if this is about something else they’ve done, I won’t be surprised.”

Grace chewed on the inside of her cheek. She’d heard Skye’s offhand comment in the light booth, and she’d noticed the darkness behind the girl’s blue eyes and goth makeup, but she hadn’t thought it could be that serious.

“It’s out of my depth,” she explained to Ajay. “I don’t know how to help with this.”

“You can’t,” he replied. “I don’t think there really is a way to get rid of the Crandalls. But what we can do is just be there for her, let her talk to us and comfort her if that’s what she wants, okay?”

Grace nodded again, and then the two were silent for the remainder of the drive over.

Rory greeted them at their front door, stress clearly shown on their face. Wordlessly, they gestured down the hallway.

“She’s in my room,” they said quietly, obviously not wanting their voice to carry upstairs. “I don’t know much but if I had to bet anything, I’d say someone hit her.”

Ajay cursed under his breath and clenched a fist.

“How bad?” Grace asked.

“I don’t think anything’s broken, but she’s got a black eye and a busted lip, and her nose is bleeding like all hell.”

Grace’s eyebrows raised, and Ajay’s eyebrows pinched together. “Can we see her?” he asked.

“Yes. Yeah, I think that would help. Come on,” Rory said, leading Grace and Ajay up the stairs.

Skye was sitting on their bed, an ice pack held up to her cheek and a cross expression on her face.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she snapped, and Grace immediately looked away and stopped walking at the entrance to the room. Ajay continued in, and leaned in close to Skye.

“Let me see,” he said, leaning precariously on his crutches. Rory quickly fetched a seat for him before he could fall over.

Hesitantly, Skye removed the ice pack from her face. Her nose had stopped bleeding, leaving behind a red crust down her lips and chin. The side of her lip had also swelled somewhat, and a purple bruise was forming around her eye.

After inspecting her for a few seconds, using his fingers to tip her chin so he could get a better look from different angles, Ajay sighed and sat back.

“Nothing’s broken,” he said, “Not as far as I can tell. You’ll live.”

Skye rolled her eyes and pressed the ice pack back against her eye.

Grace was starting to get weak from standing for so long, and Rory offered her the chair from their desk. She sat in it gratefully, and wheeled it over so she could get closer to Skye. She took the redhead’s ice-cold hand.

“What happened?” Grace asked. Unwilling or unable to sustain eye contact, Skye cast her eyes downward.

“My parents. They wanted me to come see a client with them, so they could exploit me to get more money. I said no. My father, I guess he was just stressed about the meeting going well, and he started throwing stuff. A book hit me. I don’t think he meant to.”

“And then you came here?” Ajay asked.

Skye nodded. “Nobody hit me, I was just in the way.”

Grace reached out to tuck a strand of Skye’s red hair behind her ear, and when Skye looked up, there were tears brimming in her eyes. Skye brushed them away angrily.

“I guess my life isn’t my own,” she said sharply. “If I just did what they told me, everything would be fine.”

“No, Skye. They shouldn’t use their own daughter,” Grace said, squeezing Skye’s hand. “I don’t really know what you’re going through, but I know it’s not right for them to manipulate you like that. And even if your dad didn’t mean to hit you with the book, he still did.”

The tears started spilling over onto Skye’s cheeks, but they weren’t sad tears. By the way the girl’s small body shook and her hands curled into fists, Grace knew that she was angry.

“No,” she said, “it’s not right! They don’t get to treat me like this. They’ve been shitty parents my entire life.”

“Do you wanna hit something?” Ajay asked, and Skye, Rory and Grace all turned to him in surprise. “When my parents were getting divorced, all I wanted to do was just explode. Keeping it contained isn’t healthy.”

Skye considered this, and then turned to Rory. “Do you have anything punchable?”

They gestured to the plushies at the end of their bed. “Go wild.”

Skye turned to face the plushies. She was silent for a second, then yanked her elbow back and walloped a stuffed bear as hard as she could.

“Hell yeah,” Grace said, cheering Skye on. “Give him what he deserves.”

Skye punched again, this time a precise hit on the nose of a stuffed lizard. A smile grew on her face, making her look slightly deranged. She hit another plushie, and another, and another. Her hits became less and less precise until she was wildly swinging, knocking the plushies off the bed and around the room.

“Fuck you, dad,” she said emphatically, launching a stuffed pig into Rory’s window, causing a crash as it hit the plastic blinds. “And fuck you too, mom,” she shouted, accompanied by a stuffed sheep being drop-kicked across the room. “I never asked for anything from you! I never wanted anything except… except... “ her voice got softer and softer until the last word was a whisper.

“Except love.”

Then, to everyone’s horror, she sank down onto the mattress and started sobbing.

Rory looked to Grace and Ajay, who both looked alarmed. “Think we should give her some space?”

Ajay nodded. “Probably best.”

Grace closed the door behind them, muffling Skye’s sobs. The girl’s cries tore at her heart, and she longed to fix everything, but she knew she couldn’t. This was Skye’s healing process, and Grace knew that they had done well by leaving her alone. That didn’t make it any easier for Grace to walk away from the room, though, wanting nothing but to hold the redhead and make her believe that everything would be okay eventually.

Once they got back downstairs and out the front door, the three collapsed on the swing on Rory’s front porch.

“If I could hurt him, I would,” Ajay said, glaring at nothing in particular. “Make him see what he’s done to her.”

“I’m with you. But he’d just hurt us too, try and blackmail our families or something.” Rory chimed in.

“I know. But if I could just…” Ajay’s hand curled into a fist again, and Grace put her hand on top of his, gently unrolling it.

A car pulled into the driveway, and Rory stood up. Grace waved at Mrs. Silva as the woman stepped out of her car. Rory pulled her quickly inside, explaining the situation and leaving Grace and Ajay outside.

Once the door closed behind them, Grace leaned her head onto Ajay’s shoulder.

“Shit,” she said. He just nodded. Their hands were still linked, and Grace was holding onto him for support. She’d never seen anybody like that before, and she couldn’t even conceptualize how much Skye had been affected by the years of abuse that her parents had been enacting on her.

“You’d think,” Grace said, “that surviving cancer would entitle you to a little gentleness.”

Ajay turned to lean his head back on Grace’s, thinking about what she’d said.

“I think that if there’s one thing I’ve learned about life, it’s that nothing really entitles anyone to anything.

#fanfiction #choices hssca #hssca #choices fanfiction #choices: high school story #high school story class act #ajay x mc #my fanfic #moof

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fanficsrusz · 5 years ago

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My Obligation Part Two- Keanu Reeves Mini Series

A/n: part two of the request by @ringa-starr and i love this. The drama is too much 😂😂 just like last time, it is a personalised fic so feel free to read it as a general story or just replace the name with your own. 😊

_________

The next morning came and y/n was still sat up in bed, her back was pressed to the wall. She couldn’t sleep, how could she? She knew what she saw, she knew that someone was in the house, she couldn't rest and so she waited. She didn't know what she was waiting for actually. Maybe a small noise? the sound of someone walking around? Someone to peer around the corner of the bedroom door? But nothing came.

It had been hours since the police left and they reassured her numerous times saying they had found no evidence of anyone ever being there, but Deidra couldn't budge the feeling that they were wrong.

Once Keanu had climbed back into bed after the ordeal, he fell right back to sleep the second his head hit the pillow. Deidra envied him for his ability to sleep anywhere at anytime.

She looked at the clock that read 5:55am and sighed, relaxing a little bit. 'maybe i'm just so stressed about the pregnancy, im imagining things' she thought to herself and smiled as she came up with the logical explanation.

She laid down the best she could without having the baby kick in protest and closed her eyes, Mr Sandman was kind to her in the early hours of that morning, allowing her to fall into a deep sleep. The sleep was so deep that she had failed to notice the deafening noise of Keanu's alarm that sounded half hour later, signalling that it was time for him to get up and go to work.

When keanu awoke, he was greeted by the soft snores of Deidra who laid next to him. It was unusual for him to be awake before her since the baby had gotten into a routine of kicking at about 5am and she would just get up then unable to deal with it, choosing to go about getting ready for the day rather than sleeping.

Keanu smiled to himself and leaned down to place a small kiss on her forehead, watching as she smiled and moved closer to him. He hated that he had to leave her especially after what happened last night. He shook the image of Deidra looking so scared out of his head and moved to kiss her stomach. "please look after your mummy today" he whispered to the bump before slowly sliding out of bed and making his way to the bathroom.

______

Deidra stretched her arms out, yawning as she did. She shot up when she didn't feel keanu next to her. She was spread out in the middle of the queen sized bed, wrapped in soft white blankets but there was no Keanu. She pouted as she looked at the clock once again. 11:24 am. It was the longest sleep she had had in a while but she was sad that she had missed the chance to give keanu a goodbye kiss but she would survive.

She sat up and brushed her hair up into a loose ponytail as she looked at her growing stomach. "come on baba, let's get you something to eat" she climbed out of the bed and made her way to the kitchen.

She began to pour herself a cup of coffee into her favourite mug needing as much energy as she could get. Walking over to the fridge to get the milk, she stopped when she noticed a small note stuck onto the door. She smiled instantly recognising the hand writing.

She picked it up and read the words carefully.

"my beautiful Deidra, please relax today. I don't want you to stress yourself and the baby out. I'll be back at 7pm and I called your sister to come and keep you company at about 3. All my love ~ Keanu"

Deidra smiled at the small note, somehow he still made her heart skip a beat. She placed the note back onto the fridge and continued on with making her coffee.

She moved to the pantry and reached for the cereal, but her hand drew back slowly as she noticed it wasn't in its usual place. She stepped back and looked at the shelves in front of her. It was weird, everything was in the wrong place. She knew to someone else it would have looked fine but it was odd because she kept everything in certain places. She decided to just shrug it off. "nope. I'm just going insane. I don't care" she calmed herself down, not wanting to harm the baby by stressing about something so minuscule as the cereal being in the wrong place.

She grabbed the box she needed and poured it into the bowl before making her way to the dinner table.

Sitting down she pulled out her phone and went through social media. For the most part, she just looked at cats and smiled at their cuteness. She then moved on to look at baby pictures and her heart swelled as the baby fever hit her hard. She wanted the baby now more than ever before.

She was about to put her phone down and go get dressed but then her phone vibrated, letting her know that she had received a new text. She smiled thinking it was keanu or her mum and opened it without hesitation.

Her smile faulted as a picture appeared on the screen.

She looked at the id and it was an unknown number. The picture was of a house and it seemed familiar and after several seconds of staring at the picture, it hit her like a brick wall.

It was a picture of the outside of her house. She stood up suddenly as her heartbeat quickened, worry setting in.

How could anyone have gotten that picture? The two lived in a secluded area with a gate around the house.

Deidra thought for a few seconds about what to do before she began to call the police.

She was about to press the call button when another vibration stopped her from doing so.

"DO NOT CALL THE POLICE. We don't want to scare the baby now do we? " she read the text and had to grip onto the counter to hold herself up. Someone was watching her every move but from where. She turned to look around and saw nothing. She stopped as another text came in. she looked at a second picture that accompanied the text.

This time the picture was of the nursery. They were in the house, the house that Deidra was currently in all alone. How could anyone have gotten in? How did the police not find them? Where were they? Thousands of questions rushed through her mind.

She panicked and dropped the phone, a loud smash indicating she had smashed the screen. She reached down to pick it up when another message came through.

There was no picture, no text, instead a video. She held the phone with shaky hands and pressed play.

The video was distorted due to the cracks that were now on the screen but she could still make out exactly what was going on in the video:

A hand pushed open the bedroom door of Deidra and keanu shared room and walked over to the bed. A sleeping keanu came into view and glanced over his face. Heavy breathing came from behind the camera as the video moved to the other side of the bed. Deidra's sleeping body came into shot and wondered down her body, stopping when her stomach came into view. A gloved hand stroked over stomach and the video ended.

Deidra felt sick, she was right. She saw someone in the house and they were in her bedroom AFTER the police did a full search of the house. She didn't know what to do. Tears fell down her face and she began to dial keanus number.

Deidra ran towards the bathroom, hoping she could lock herself in and wait for keanu to come and save the day. The ringing echoed through her ears and it felt like the ringing was going on forever.

Keanu walked down the street to his car, the meetings he was supposed to do had finished early and he was on his way home. He wanted to surprise Deidra and if on cue his phone rang. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, her name displayed across the screen along with a picture of the two cuddling. He answered the call and brought it to his ear. "hey babe i was just thinking about-" he was cut off by the heavy pants of his wife. He stopped in his tracks not caring about the annoyed grunts of other pedestrians. "Deidra what's wrong? Are you ok? Is the baby ok?" he panicked as he ran to the car fearing the worst. "I was right. Someone was in the house. They still are. They sent me pictures of the nursery and a video of us sleeping in bed" she said through tears. Keanu pulled out of his parking space and sped down the streets towards his house. "ok listen. I want you to go-" keanu was cut off as the screams of Deidra echoed through the phone, causing his heart to drop to his stomach. His wife and unborn child were being harmed and he could do nothing "DEIDRA" he yelled as he sped up, swerving through cars. He could still hear the faint screams of his wife through the phone. Knowing he couldn't do much he hung up and called the police, hoping that they could get their faster than he could.

"ok listen. I want you to go-" Deidra listen to what keanu was telling her but was cut off when someone slapped the phone from her hand. She turned and saw a masked figure stood in front of her. She screamed and tried to run but the person grabbed onto her arm, pulling her back." please no don't do this" she cried pleading for her life. Despite the fact that whoever this was wore a mask, she could see the sarcastic frown on their face just by looking at their eyes. They pretended to cry, mocking the actions of Deidra. She could hear keanu screaming for her through the discarded phone on the floor. She closed her eyes tight, hoping that the nightmare would be other if she did so but it wasn't. Once she opened her eyes, the person sprayed an unknown substance in her face, causing her to cough.

Darkness soon clouded her vision and she felt her legs go numb as she lost all control over her body, falling into the arms of the unknown assailant.

______

Keanu leaped from the car, barely putting it in park before he rushed into the house.

The police were already there as he pushed his way through the door. "DEIDRA" he yelled drawing the attention of a man in a suit who began to walk over to him. "Mr reeves. I'm detective Carter, I'm sorry to inform you of this but your wife is not here. Who ever was here has taken her. We are doing everything we can to find her" the man placed a sympathetic hand onto his shoulder and keanu shook his head as the man offered him his condolences. "no you're wrong" keanu said, tears pooling in his eyes. "I'm afraid it's true. All we know is whoever took her left a note. Does this mean anything to you?" the detective handed the note and keanu took it, his hands shaking.

The note was simple and it sent a chill down his spine. "It is my Obligation to make you happy. It should have been me".

He nodded his head and the detective pulled out a notepad and pen. "what does the note mean Mr Reeves?" keanu sighed and turned away. "it's from a stalker. An obsessive fan if you like. I took out a restraining order against her but i guess it's done nothing" he held his head in his hands as he sat down and the detective approached once again. "thank you Mr. Reeves. I will look into this personally. ''

The detective left, leaving him in the house. His heart broke at the thought that he could lose Deidra and he cried not knowing that fate of his beloved wife and child.

Tbc

_____

Taglist: (i do have a permanent taglist where you can be tagged in any fic i post so just ask to be added to itl

@gwenebear @celestiaelisia @blondieee-me

#john wick #keanu reeves #keanu reeves x reader #john wick imagine #john wick x reader #john wick x you #keanu reeves x you #john wick oc #keanucharlesreeves #Keanu imagine #young keanu #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves oneshot

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vinylackles · 6 years ago

Text

the story

word count: 4,367

requested by: anonymous

summary: this is a bit of backstory about sam and the reader, from their proposal (towards the end of season 11) all the way to their honeymoon!

a few of my other fics [ring and the cabin] are kind of involved in this fic (the timeline for ring, and the actual cabin if you’d like to read them as well, though you don’t have to :)

all my works || request imagines here

the push:

Dean had been on his ass for weeks, and Sam had gone out to the store to buy a new duffle bag simply so he would never have to share one with his brother again. He wasn’t supposed to find the box, but he hadn’t stopped prying, and today was no exception.

“If you’ve already got the ring why don’t you just ask her already you chicken,” Dean had said as soon as he walked into the kitchen.

“You’re right Dean, I’m so sorry for not taking your advice, considering how many successful proposals you’ve done. Oh wait, that’s right...”

“Alright, low blow,” Dean grumbled, sipping at his coffee. They fell back into the tense silence that had been over the bunker for the last few weeks. They knew, with Amara lurking out there that they were going to have to act, and soon.

The aching fear in Sam’s belly about what would happen when the time did come to face the darkness wasn’t helping his tolerance either.

“Sorry. I’ve just got more important things to worry about right now,” Sam mumbled, turning back to the book he had been scanning before Dean interrupted.

“No you don’t,” Dean countered. Sam only lifted his eyes to roll them. “Seriously Sam, you shouldn’t be puttin’ all this crap above your personal life.”

The younger Winchester had to stifle a laugh.

“Uh, where have you been for the last 25 years of our lives? That’s what we do Dean, that’s what all hunters do. You stow your crap and you do the job. And right now, the job is Amara.”

“I can handle Amara. It might not be pretty but I can handle her.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m worried about,” Sam murmured, frustration growing. Dean was silent for a while, and it put an odd tension back into the room.

“Sam.”

“What.”

“Sammy look at me.” There was an aching vulnerability in his brothers voice that Sam couldn’t deny even if he wanted to. He looked up, marking his spot in his book.

“I’m sorry if I’ve been on your ass lately, about proposin’ and all that. It’s just, I think I see the end of this road, with the darkness and everything. I think I know - I think we both know how this is gonna end, and I know how screwed up I got all those times that you were... gone. I just want you to be happy. Once I’m gone.”

“Dean, stop it.”

“Just hear me out, okay? I know I’ve always been the one that said we keep hunting, that we could never stop. I gave you crap for leavin’ me in purgatory and going after your normal apple-pie life. But I want you to know, that if this ends with me on a pyre, and you wanna walk away.... that’s okay with me. You’ve more than earned it, and besides, you’ve got somethin’ more important to care about now.”

Sam’s throat was too tight for him to answer, and thankfully, Dean didn’t wait on one.

“That girl of yours, she’s somethin’ else Sam. I knew it from the minute you found her, and I couldn’t think of anyone better for you. I mean that. She’s basically a little sister to me, and you two deserve each other. You deserve to be happy Sam. I know that’s not easy, with what we do, so if you need to throw in the towel, you can.”

“Can you save the death bed speech Dean? Please? You aren’t dying over this, I’m not gonna let you,” Sam’s voice cracked on his brothers name, giving him away.

“We’re all gonna die eventually little brother. And you’ve gotta make the best of it while you’re here. From where I’m standin’, it looks like the best of it for you is in the shower right now, blaring that song she’s been playing all week.” He chuckled a bit, the sound of Y/N’s music a dull murmur in the background. “So could you do your big brother a solid and lock that down, for good, before I end up walkin’ into something I’m not sure I’m gonna walk out of? It’d give me some peace of mind.”

Sam just nodded, unable to say anything around the lump in his throat. But when Dean clapped him on the shoulder he reached up and caught his hand, squeezing tightly.

the proposal:

It was only three days after his talk with Dean, and he hadn’t planned on doing it then. He’d run through a thousand plans in his head, and eliminated them all one by one. Rent out a stadium - too over the top. Just ask her one morning - she deserved more than that. Get her a puppy and put the ring on the collar - tempting, but they couldn’t take care of a dog.

And so he’d decided that it would be whenever it felt natural, and preferably before anything major happened with Dean and the darkness. He could give his brother what he asked for - it was the least he could do. It wasn’t like he wasn’t planning on doing it soon anyways.

It started when Y/N had climbed into bed, still fully clothed, and cuddled up to his side, resting her chin on his chest. She looked up at him through her lashes while he read his book, a tell-tale sign that she wanted something.

“Hi baby. Whatcha need?” He asked.

“I want ice cream.” She grinned, hopeful. He couldn’t resist that smile, and she knew it too.

“I think we have some vanilla in the freezer. But you want Mosley’s, don’t you?” He knew her order at the local ice cream shop by heart.

All she did was smile sheepishly as an answer, scooting up the bed to press a kiss to his lips.

“Let me get my shoes on.” He kissed her again before getting up and heading to the closet. Y/N snagged one of Sam’s flannels and threw it on with the shirt and leggings she was already wearing.

“I’ll get the keys from Dean, meet you in the garage!” She gave him one more peck on the cheek before bounding out of the room, obviously excited for the inevitable ice cream.

When she was gone, it struck him. Maybe tonight could be the night. So he pocketed the ring quietly in his jacket, trying not to focus on the weight of it against his chest.

He almost forgot about it, no room for much else in his mind when he saw her perched on the hood of the impala waiting for him. She was just mindlessly scrolling through her phone, perfectly relaxed with no idea what was coming. He didn’t want it any other way.

“Ready beautiful?”

“Mosleys here we come!” Y/N exclaimed, hopping down off the car and moving to the passenger side. Sam had barely gotten in before she slid over to lean against him, nuzzling up to his side like she always did when it was just them.

“You’re so comfy. How can you be so muscley and so comfy at the same time,” she mumbled, her cheek squished against his shoulder. He just laughed, wrapping his right arm around her and kissing her forehead.

When they got to Mosleys, she stayed in the car. Sam was good enough friends with the owner to ask for a special favor, and he walked out with both their favorites in a small styrofoam cooler filled with dry ice.

He could see Y/N’s eyes squint in suspicion through the windshield as he got to the car.

“What’re you up to Winchester?” She asked as soon as his door was open.

“It’s a surprise. You know, those things you hate?”

She squinted her eyes even more, scrunching her nose in the most adorable way. He leaned over the cooler and kissed her softly, bringing her out of her mood, but only slightly.

“I’m just taking my girl on a date, is that allowed?” He teased as Baby rumbled to life.

“I suppose.” She muttered, moving the cooler to the other side of her legs so she could cuddle back up to him. They drove for about 30 minutes, to a little outlook that sat high above a lake. They’d been there before, but never at night, and as Sam expected, when they got out the sky was spattered with some of the brightest stars he’d ever seen.

“Woah,” she whispered as she got out of the car, eyes wide, cooler in her arms. Sam popped the trunk, silently thanking his brother for the fact that there was still a blanket in the back. He spread it out over a patch of grass, motioning for Y/N to come join him. She sat down while he unpacked the ice cream - the man had given him pints of each of their favorite flavors on the house once he’d told him the plan.

She toyed with the fog that was coming out of the container from the ice, fascinated by it as it disappeared in the warm Kansas air.

“It’s even more beautiful out here at night,” she said when she finally looked back up at the sky. Sam passed her the pint with a spoon stuck in the top. She took it happily, scooping some out and pressing it against her tongue. He wasn’t sure how she looked so cute all the time - surely it was exhausting.

Somehow, while staring at her at that moment, all his nerves disappeared. He was so sure of her, of them, that it seemed silly that he was nervous in the first place. So the next words out of his mouth came naturally, easy as water.

“Do you wanna get married?”

“Duh, you know that,” she said, staring up at the sky.

That didn’t go as planned.

“I mean, do you want to marry me?”

“You bought me ice cream and took me to see the stars, who else would I marry?” She mused, still not looking at him. Even when he reached into his pocket and pulled out the box, she remained oblivious, staring at the sky. He took the opportunity to move back a little bit and prop himself up on a knee.

“Y/N. Will you marry me?”

“I mean are you gonna give me a ri- HOLY CRAP!” She turned around finally, almost swallowing her spoon at the sight of him there on one knee.

“Don’t choke,” he chuckled, resisting the urge to reach over and swipe the spoon out of her mouth. She did the honors, letting it drop onto the blanket.

“Sam.” She was breathless it seemed, her eyes flickering between his face and the ring.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, I just wanted it to be the right time. You’re all I want, forever. And I thought we could make it, you know, official? If you’re up for it?”

That was so not what he was planning on saying. But she didn’t seem to care in the slightest.

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes holy crap yes!” She practically squealed, tackling him in a kiss. He rolled slightly so his legs didn’t get trapped behind him as he kissed her back, both their smiles bursting through every time their lips parted.

“You didn’t even let me put your ring on,” he teased, brushing some hair back from her face. Y/N sat up, tugging him up with her so she was sitting on his lap. He picked the box up, pulling the ring carefully out of the velvet and sliding it onto her finger. It fit perfectly, making him smile.

“It’s beautiful,” she said, and he could hear her tears in her voice.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

the engagement:

Planning a wedding and hunting weren’t exactly conducive activities.

“Baby, you can stay here if you need to, I know you wanted to meet with that florist,” Sam sighed a bit, watching you pack your bag.

“Flowers aren’t going to do me much good if my fiance is dead in a vamp nest somewhere,” you muttered, tossing an extra change of clothes in and zipping it up.

“Hey. C’mere.” Sam’s voice was gentle and you felt the tension leave your shoulders as you moved over towards him.

“I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, I’m just stressed out. I want it to be a perfect day,” you mumbled, burying your face in his chest as he held you.

“I know. It’s gonna be perfect no matter what, cause we’re gonna be married at the end of the day, regardless. But I know you want it to be a certain way. I just wish it didn’t stress you out so much.”

“Have you met me? Everything stresses me out.” You chuckled, pressing your forehead into his chest. He laughed with you, hand coming up to run through your hair.

“Well, we’ve got a few months left before the wedding. What’s left?”

“Flowers. And I’ve got the last fitting for my dress, Jody is coming with me for that. All the guys have their suits, the girls are getting their dresses back from the tailors. We have the cake, we’ve got the rings. Dean’s building the alter stuff.”

“So.... just the flowers then?”

“And the honeymoon...”

You tried again, though you knew it was futile. Maybe, just maybe he’d slip up and give it away.

“The honeymoon is taken care of, I promise. How about when we get back from this hunt we go to the florist together, yeah?”

“You don’t want to go to the florist, you couldn’t care less about the flowers,” you accused, but it was lighthearted.

“Yeah, but you care, which means I care. Now c’mon, we’ve got some vampires to kill.”

the wedding:

For once, the Kansas weather had decided to cooperate. It was a beautiful day, sun shining over the bunker, a nice breeze keeping it from being too hot. Everything was perfect, and yet you still couldn’t breathe.

“Y/N? Hey, are you gonna be okay if I leave you here to walk mom down? I can get Cas to do it if you need me to.” Dean's worry was obvious as he slipped a hand under your elbow, as if you were going to fall. You weren’t sure that you wouldn’t.

“No, no I’m okay. Just, uh, hurry back, okay?” Your voice was strained. You weren’t sure why you were so nervous - everything had gone to plan, everybody you and Sam loved were there.

“You got it. Hang in there.” Dean squeezed you a bit before letting go and moving up the line to let Mary take his arm. You knew Sam was close by, so you stayed hidden in the bunker stairwell. Neither of you had wanted to see the other beforehand, but not having him there with you was probably why you were so nervous - you two had never been the greatest at separation. Music had begun to play, and you knew the processional was moving along.

The alter had been set up behind the bunker, in a little clearing of the woods. There was a path lined with flowers, up to a beautiful alter that Dean had built from some reclaimed wood he’d found. It was beautiful to anyone, not just your biased eyes. You kept yourself hidden, but peaked out just enough so you could see everyone walking down.

Cas lead, with Claire on his arm. He kissed her cheek before they moved to their appropriate sides of the alter. Next was Jack, who did double time and walked both Patience and Alex down, since Dean was on his way back to you.

The sight of familiar faces made it a bit easier to breathe. Garth was there, and Donna. Mary was beaming at her son, but you refused to follow her gaze. If you looked at Sam now, you knew you’d start crying. Jody was standing at the alter - she’d gotten ordained just for you two.

Dean made it back to you quickly, holding up his arm for you to take.

“You ready for this?”

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous. It’s just Sam,” you murmured, more to yourself than to Dean.

“You’re just excited I bet. Sam was shakin’ in his boots all morning waiting for you. I’ve got yah, okay? I’ll get you down the aisle and Sam will take it from there.”

Something in the familiar cadence of his voice, and knowing that you’d be right there with Sam in just a minute made your nerves cease enough for you to take that first step, out into the light.

You clutched onto Dean’s arm and matched his pace, watching the petal-covered grass underneath your feet. And when you heard the sound of everyone rising from their chairs, you lifted your eyes from the ground.

And there he was.

You’d known what suit he was going to wear. What color his tie was, which flowers would be on his boutonnière. You’d seen his smile a thousand times. But he was beaming, and you could see the tears welling up at the sight of you in your dress.

And it didn’t matter that everyone was looking at you, or that you were crying too. He was there and he was about to be your husband, and you couldn’t have been happier in that moment.

“Easy tiger, it’s not a race,” Dean murmured, trying to slow down your pace. You hadn’t realized you’d sped up so much, automatically drawn towards Sam. Why had you made the aisle so long?

Finally, finally, you got there. Dean kissed your cheek and guiding you up the few stairs that he’d built. You passed your bouquet to Claire, who fixed the train on your dress and then you turned, gazing up at Sam.

He was still crying, but trying to keep it together a bit more as he took your hands in his. You couldn’t do anything but stare at him, and take it all in as Jody spoke, about love and the importance of it.

You both pulled it together enough to repeat your vows to each other, though the tears were still streaming. Dean handed Sam the rings, and yours settled perfectly on your finger, as if it was meant to be there all along. Perhaps it was.

You weren’t sure you’d ever heard sweeter words than “you may now kiss your bride”, and you couldn’t help but smile when you felt the cool metal of Sam’s ring on your cheek when he cupped your face, bending down to kiss you.

It was soft and warm and different somehow. You were kissing your husband, and you weren’t sure you were even going to get over that.

Everyone cheered as you headed down the aisle, back to the door of the bunker that you’d come out of.

You disappeared inside for a moment, pulling Sam with you. As soon as the door closed behind you you were kissing him again with as much fierceness as you could muster, somehow trying to put action to the happiness that was burning inside of you. He obliged, taking your hips in his hands, hands splayed out against the white fabric that covered you.

It took you a minute to work it out of your system, and you knew that everyone would probably starting to trickle in from the ceremony in just a moment. When you pulled away, you weren’t sure you’d ever felt happier.

“You didn’t even let me carry you over the threshold,” Sam chuckled, resting his forehead against yours.

“Sorry,” you whispered, laughing with him.

“The stairs will do,” he grinned, getting that boyish glint in his eyes that made your heart warm since the first time you saw it. He scooped you up, starting the descent off the balcony.

“Please don’t fall and break a leg, I know you can’t see those stairs over this dress,” you cautioned.

“Ever the romantic,” Sam teased, kissing your cheek. You reached the bottom at the perfect time, getting one more kiss in before the doors open and everyone began to funnel in from outside. You both waited at the bottom, accepting everyone’s hugs and well wishes.

When Dean got to you, he took you by surprise, picking you up and spinning you around.

“Welcome to the family Winchester,” he had said, and it was the first time in a long time you’d seen Dean truly happy.

The night moved on like most weddings, you assumed. Everyone ate pizza that you’d ordered from the local joint, and there was wine and beer and cake and dancing. You’d pushed all the tables to the walls in the library, leaving the whole space open; a makeshift dance floor.

Your first dance song played from the record player in the corner, and you smiled as Sam held you close, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. After that, it seemed everyone wanted a chance to dance with the bride, so you were passed around through the slow songs. Much to your surprise, Jack seemed to be the best dancer of all of them. He later revealed he’d watched some youtube videos on how to slow dance, obviously proud of himself.

You found yourself back in Sam’s arms again as the night began to wind down.

“You ready for our honeymoon?” He murmured, pressing a kiss to your hair.

“How can I be ready if I don’t know where we’re going? You wouldn’t even let me pack my own bag,” you countered, scrunching up your nose at him.

“You’ll know soon enough. C’mon, let’s go.”

the honeymoon:

“I knew it!” She exclaimed, making Sam smile as he brought the car to a stop outside the cabin. He didn’t tell her that they were only spending the night there, that in the morning they’d be driving to the airport and heading off to the beach.

He got out first, moving around the car to open Y/N’s door for her and help her out. She had been so eager to leave and see where they were going that she’d insisted her dress was comfortable enough to ride in. She somehow looked even more beautiful out there amongst the trees, dressed in white, relaxed and completely herself.

“C’mere,” he said quietly, taking her waist in his hands and pulling her to him. She melted under his touch it seemed, pliant under his lips as he kissed her. She was sweet to taste, and he could feel her smile. With a sigh he pulled away, but only to grab the smaller overnight bag he’d packed for them.

“We don’t need the big bags yet. Besides, I don’t see many clothes in our immediate future.”

“Oh?” She blushed bright pink.

“As sad as I am to see it go, I am so ready to get you out of that dress. Also, you aren’t cheating me out of my threshold this time,” he grinned, tossing the bag over his shoulder before scooping Y/N up.

“I love you,” she said, breathless as he carried her through the doorway.

“I love you too, wife.” The word felt so natural on his tongue, and the he wished he could keep the smile it brought to her face there forever. “C’mon beautiful, let’s get you to bed.”

Their shoes were first, and the dress was next. It had delicate buttons along the back, and he fumbled with them, his long fingers getting in his own way as they both laughed through his struggle. When he finally got them undone it fell heavy to the ground, revealing delicate, white lingerie that about sent him to his knees. It took all his self control to move away and hang the dress up on a spare hanger, hooking it over the door of the bedroom.

He slipped out of his dress shirt, having already lost the jacket and tie back at the bunker before they’d left. He was about to sit back down before he caught the look his wife was giving him.

“What?”

“I’m only in my underwear... you too. Equal partners, remember?” She teased, quirking an eyebrow.

He just laughed, undoing his belt and tossing it aside before letting his pants fall to the floor. She gasped, making him panic a bit, looking down at his plain black boxer briefs.

“What!?” He asked yet again.

“No white lace?! What kinda wedding night is this!?” She faked her exasperation, but she could only keep up the act for a moment before she burst out laughing.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” he teased, moving to the bed in a fluid motion, wrapping a strong arm around her waist and lifting her just enough to guide her onto her back.

Everything paused when she winced, sucking in a breath.

“Baby? What’s wrong?”

“One of my hair pins just poked me. I swear, there must be five hundred of them in there,” she muttered, nose scrunched as she looked up towards her hair.

“C’mere, I’ll take em out.”

Sam guided her back up to sitting, letting her settle in his lap facing away from him as he began to run his fingers through her hair, picking out the pins that were stuck within it. He smiled as the curls began to fall, and she relaxed more and more every time he found a new one to take out.

His hand was full by the time he was done, and he put them all on the bedside table, running his other hand over Y/N’s sore scalp. She was practically purring under his touch, leaning her weight back onto his chest. He peppered kisses along her skin, up her neck, along her jaw, finally catching her lips when she turned to look at him.

She twisted on his lap, settling with her legs wrapped around his waist, moulding to him like she always did.

The night was spent intertwined in every sense of the word, slow and warm and soft, with whispered I loves you and promises. They fell asleep pressed against each other, safe in knowing that it was really the two of them, forever.

leave me feedback and i’ll cry okay

#WOW this turned out long #but I think I like it #let me know what you think!!!#feedback is my fuel yall and i'm feelin kinda shitty about my writing lately #so it would mean a lot :')#sam winchester #sam winchester imagine #spn imagine #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fanfiction #aintnonetwork

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softmoxymuffin · 6 years ago

Text

“Confessions in the Bitter Cold”

i had uploaded this on my ao3 weeks ago but i seem to have forgotten to upload it here coz i could not find it anywhere so im uploading it right now im currently working on chapter 9 and 10 and maybe an epilogue

this is kinda long.. but it pays off with the angst in the end.. thank you for being so patient with me i hope you guys like it

Chapter 1: Check Please

Chapter 2: Airplanes and Automobiles

Chapter 3: Tellin’ the Folks

Chapter 4: Hot Cocoa and Surprise Hugs

Chapter 5: Breakfast Sandwiches

Chapter 6: Learning Experience

Chapter 7: Keeping up Defenses

Chapter 8: Confessions in the Bitter Cold

The next day Seth didn’t really get the time to overthink what had transpired yesterday. That morning he was greeted by his family downstairs in the kitchen. His stepdad was frying up some bacon and eggs, while his mom was making fairly high stacks of waffles for all of them. Over the meal Holly had gone ahead and reminded everyone of tonight’s event. It wasn’t only going to be first Christmas party they would have for the students of Black and Brave but also the first time most of them would get to see 392Dport which was also Seth’s new venture with 392 coffee. Thankfully, she had gotten a catering service to provide the bulk of the food so she didn’t have to do the majority of the cooking but she had tasked herself and Dd to work on a couple of desserts to add to the party. Holly then pointed to Seth, Dean, and Brandon to prepare the coffee shop for the event. Other than Dean playfully pouting about not being able to work with the food, everyone seemed to take their task in stride.

The boys had gone to the coffee shop late that morning. The space had fortunately been cleared for use just about a week ago with all of the basics being more than ready. What the boys now had to do was some cleaning up and set all the tables and chairs accordingly as well as decorate. Holly had also informed them that some of the other furniture she had ordered for the place were supposed to be delivered that afternoon plus some nice flower arrangements. Hefting a couple of boxes of Christmas decoration and a couple of brooms and rags the boys set about to work on the place to get everything ready.

As Seth had gone about cleaning the front and the windows of the building he couldn’t help but look into his new coffee shop and just feel a deep sense of thankfulness. If you had asked him a couple of years ago that he would be where he was right now he would have taken the news with grains of salt. He had always made sure to aim as high as he could and work as hard as than he could. He knew he’d get far if he’d just kept at it but to think that after more than ten years in the business he now has a school to his name and even a small café for his community. Seth couldn’t help but feel incredibly grateful for it all.

He took the time to look into the window he was cleaning. Brandon was busy wiping off the chairs and tables already there. Dean was sweeping up from one side of the open space from the other. At least he was until he took up the broom and started to play with it as if it were a guitar. Some song, most probably classic rock, playing in the background. Seth couldn’t help but laugh at what Dean had consider dancing which was mainly just him wiggling his hips around. It only seemed to get worse when he held the broom to Brandon who then joined in with singing along to the song.

At that point as much as Seth was having fun watching his best friend and brother goofing around, he knew he had to put an end to it. He loudly but gently tapped against the window a couple of times which finally got the two boys to stop and stare at him. He pointed to his watch with a mildly impatient expression on his face as if to say ‘stop fooling around and hurry up’, which only made the two playfully scowl and gave him the middle finger. Looking like he was offended, he huffed an annoyed breath. Putting those two together might not have been the best decision Seth thought, but the two had actually stopped with the dancing around and continued to put the place together.

It took all afternoon but the boys had finished their work a couple of hours before the party was supposed to start. The new furniture had come in on time which was good. They had to assemble a couple of coffee tables and shelves together, which was bad. Thankfully Seth took charge of actually patiently reading the instructions rather than ‘winging it’ as Dean would say. The flowers had come beautifully which they had placed all around. A box of a couple of knickknacks and books to make the space feel homey and warm. They finished it off by putting up a few simple Christmas decorations around. Seth and Brandon opting for putting up the tinsel and Christmas lights, while Dean actually opted to put together artificial tree to one corner where all the gifts would go. Once they were finally done they had stepped back to take a good look and clapped each other on the back for a job well done.

Right as they were putting the cleaning supplies and boxes way, Holly, Dd, and Hector walked in carrying a couple of food containers. Even though Holly had said she had hired a catering services, she seemed to still have found the energy to prepared quite a few desserts for tonight’s event.

“Wow, you did a good job boys!” Hector congratulated them.

“I’m glad you got all the furniture ready, was worried that would come late.” Holly said as she put down the desserts on the open counters. “It looks so good. Thank you boys.” She added with a sweet smile.

“It was no problem mom.” Brandon had replied with a smile of his own.

“No problem for you, you didn’t have to try and translate microscopic Swedish in to English.” Seth huffed with playful annoyance.

“Told you, you didn’t have to.” Dean joked which only made the Armenian more annoyed rather than playful.

“Hey, who put up the tree?” Dd had asked as she walked towards the medium sized, decorated plastic tree in the corner.

“Why? What’s wrong with it?” Dean asked somewhat worriedly.

“Nothing,” Dd was quick to answer. “It’s really pretty Dean.” she reassured before taking out her phone and taking a picture of it.

“You put that up Dean?” Holly asked as she gestured towards the tree.

“I mean, I tried.” Dean shrugged sheepishly.

The plastic tree really wasn’t much. It was mainly bought a week or so ago just to add a festive feel to the café for the party. Holly provided the boys with a box of old Christmas decorations to put on it, not really thinking about it. Now finally seeing it all on there, Holly hadn’t realized.

“I made this in the 3rd grade.” Dd pointed out at a pink and gold glittering cat that hung near the top branch.

As everyone else stepped closer to the tree it was only then that the rest of the family had realized that every ornament on the tree was something homemade from their childhood past. A paper candy cane with Brandon’s name scrawled in red crayon that also said he was only 5 years old when he had made it. A gold star with Seth’s two year old face on it that said it was made on his second Christmas. Bits of memory lovingly put on the tree giving it color and life making the café feel like home.

“Thought I'd stick to the sentimental stuff. I didn’t use a lot of the other ornaments. Didn’t seem like it needed anymore…” Dean explained as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. “…they’re still in the box though if you want me to get them.” Dean offered pointing to the broom closet where they had put the things away.

Holly could only shake her head no as he made long strides towards the young man and enveloped Dean in a giant hug. Her warmth seemed to radiate from her. Even Seth could see that from a couple of feet away, he could only imagine how Dean must have felt.

“Thank you Dean.”

His friend had only gave a sheepish smile back and shrugged it off like it was no big deal.

“Hey, you boys better go home to get ready for the party.” Hector pointed to the wall clock telling them they had just a little over an hour to drive home, take a shower, and get dressed.

The three boys drove back home. All three making their way to their respective rooms to get cleaned up. Seth and Brandon having to fight over their shared bathroom, with Brandon getting there first. It wasn’t until Seth had been waiting for 10 minutes when he realized his parents bathroom was left unattended.

When he finally finished he made his way to his bedroom. There he went through his things hoping to find something somewhat good enough to wear to a party. Not needing to go too formal, Seth finally got a red button down shirt which he paired with black skinny jeans and black boots. He had neatly combed and tied his hair in a bun. He looked at his mirror to check for anything else he might have missed; his shirt was iron, his jeans looked good, nothing in his teeth. He took a couple of sprits of his cologne and walked out of his room.

For the third time this week he knocked on Dean’s door, for once being sure that the other man was on the other side. After hearing a few grunts from inside, Dean finally come out looking fresh himself. Dean was wearing the same boots he had been wearing all day. He changed from his light tattered jeans to a darker and cleaner pair that had absolutely no holes in them. His shirt was a nice fitting olive green button down that hugged his broad shoulders and tucked in his small waist, a waist Seth still sometimes couldn’t believe belonged to the taller and broader man in front of him. Dean’s hair was combed back neatly, his usual curls seemed to behave for once. Overall, Seth thought Dean looked really good.

“Hey, you two match.” Brandon came out of his own room and pointed to their outfits.

The two looked down and realized they did sort of match with the Christmas colors of red and green making them look extra appropriate for the event. Brandon opted for a soft looking blue sweater and khakis. With all three of them finally ready, they were relieved to find out that they had at least 20 minutes before any of them could be considered late.

They hopped in Seth’s car and drove the short way to the café. Entering the coffeeshop was already somewhat full of familiar faces. Some students who had gone to stay home for the holidays had actually traveled back for the party. The nine students who had decided to spend the holidays that the school had arrived as well. The catering came, and all the food was ready. Drinks were being poured. Christmas songs were being played. Friendly laughter and chatter could be heard all around.

Greeting the students and some of their friends and family who they decided to bring along was fun, especially seeing some of them had brought their little brothers and sisters to meet Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose in person. They had taken quite a few pictures with them. Talked pleasantries with their guests. Seth found himself in a chat with one of his student’s dad’s who wanted to learn exactly how the school operated seeing as his other son wanted to follow in his big brother footsteps.

In the middle of the conversation, Seth couldn’t help but noticed Dean sort of just standing to the sidelines. People were flocking towards him for pictures and autographs, but the more of them came he kind of just stuck to leaning against the far off wall getting out of other’s way. The younger wrestler was tempted to cut the conversation short to check on his friend. Fortunately, Holly seemed to have seen the same thing and approached Dean offering him a plate to eat. It was comically sweet seeing a 5’3, 50 year old woman seemingly protect the 6’4, 225 lbs. man from his all-too-friendly public. Seth breathed a sigh of relief as he watched Dean take the plate and went off to eat somewhere further away from the crowd.

Dean was not exactly the party animal the public thought he was, at least not anymore. Seth was indies around the same time as Dean and he had heard the stories about him. He heard of drunken debaucheries from Ohio all the way up to the east coast. He heard of his drug use during his time in Puerto Rico. He heard Dean as Jon Moxley almost like a myth, the general people not really knowing how to deal with him and his ways. The crowd ate it up.

Nowadays, Dean was calmer. He knew how to have a good time but knew how to keep it to people he trusted. He knew how to get along with tons of people, but also had a damn good bullshit meter that could sort out those who were genuinely interested in him and those who wanted something from him. He had given up the drug use, for that Seth was sure and was thankful for. He had lessened the drinking considerably. Dean was calmer and was taking better care of himself, instead of having absolutely no regard for his body. But after all that, Dean Ambrose was not anyone you would consider a wall flower.

With a sudden halt to the Christmas music, the familiar warm and maternal voice rang through the café.

“Hello everybody and Merry Christmas” Holly greeted, which was met with applause and a couple of toasts from the crowd. “As all of you know this is the first ever Black and Brave Wrestling Academy Christmas Party. This is a time for everyone involved in the school to come together to celebrate and give thanks to what this first year has brought us… Honestly, if anyone had ever told me 30 years ago that I would be helping run my son’s wrestling school I would never have believed you.” The crowd laughed and applauded appreciatively for their adopted mother. “-But if I did give the news a chance and believed you than I would not have any doubt that the son who would be hardworking enough, determined enough, and passionate enough to be able to build that would be my son, Seth Rollins.” She ended her little speech by pointing out Seth and motioned for him to come up on the platform to say a few words.

“Thanks mom,” he said with a small kiss on her cheek. “Merry Christmas everyone. First of all I’d just like to thank each and every one of you who came down here. It has been a very eventful couple of months for us. Building this school had been a dream of mine for many years. I wish I could say I had been dreaming of it 30 years ago, but that just wouldn’t be true… The truth many of the things I have done were never planned outright. I had dreams but targets like the school, and this café, and the achievement’s I’ve garnered over the years were mainly me just taking as many opportunities I can take and doing the best I could with them, and I have been blessed.” The drop in Seth’s voice was noticeable and had a couple of his students cheer him on to continue.

“But as much as I am blessed by all of these things, the biggest blessings I have in my life would be them.” Seth then pointed out to his family who were standing by the sidelines. “I would have nothing without any of you. Absolutely nothing without your love and support and understanding. You made my dreams your dreams. You made my efforts to be yours as well. You’ve patiently waited for me on this crazy journey and went ahead and walked down this difficult path with me. For that I am always so grateful…” Seth voice cracked then took a deep breath before composing himself to continue. “Mom and Dad, thank you for everything.”

Seth then raised his glass in the air. “To my family; both blood-” he motioned towards his family. “And not-” he had moved to gesture towards where he had last seen Dean but only saw the seat he left behind. But before his confusion could be noticed he turned his glass towards the crowd and recovered. “-thank you everyone, enjoy the rest of your night.” He along the rest of the people took a sip of their drinks.

While the crowd had smiled and moved to give each other hugs or went back about to their business, Seth couldn’t help himself but frown as he stepped of the platform. He was greeted by his smiling parents. His mom giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. His dad giving him an encouraging pat on the back. Both his siblings giving him hugs, Brandon teasing him for almost crying in front of everyone. It was a happy moment for him, but something held him back.

“Had anyone seen Dean?” he asked, doing his best to keep his worry at bay.

“He was just-” Dd had turned to where the other wrestler had sat earlier, only to see what Seth had seen from the platform. “He was just here.”

“I hadn’t seen him leave.” Hector reassured his son.

“Wherever he is I’m sure he’s alright.” Brandon offered.

“I know where he went.” A familiar young voice had spoken up.

Seth had turned and was greeted by the face of Jesse, one of the students from the academy. He looked a little different with the swept back hair and glasses, but still easily recognizable.

“I ran into him when I was going out of the bathroom.” He explained. “I think he went out back onto the deck.”

Seth gave a slight smile for a thank you before he had made his way to where the young man was pointing. One of the features Seth was looking forward to regarding the coffeeshop was a nice outdoor deck overlooking the river. From there you were able to see the school and even a glimpse of his home on the other side. He had opened the back door and was unpleasantly greeted by the December cold.

Just as he was about to close the door again, he had spotted a glimpse of the man he was looking for. He was standing leaning against the railing eyes towards the freezing cold river. He had nothing else on except for his shirt and jeans. The sight made Seth turn back around to put on his coat and grab Dean’s as well. Before he went ahead and opened the back door again, Seth found himself trying to calm himself down, like he was psyching himself out before a big leap. Why exactly he felt the need to do that he wasn’t sure, but it made opening that door a little bit easier for him.

He quietly approached the other man. His back hardly even shivered under the harsh cold. For a split second he feared getting the other man’s coat for him was not something he might have wanted. But that second passed and Seth didn’t care whether Dean would take it or not, he was going to put on his damn coat.

“Hey,” he called out. The other man slowly turned towards him. “You forgot this.” He raised his coat open and without telling him putting it over his broad shoulders. Thankfully the other man had wordlessly slipped it on, like it was a forgotten after thought.

Seth copied Dean’s position; facing towards the river and his arms crossed on the railings. Neither man looking at the other in the eye, but a silent acknowledgement was there. It felt like how they were in the ring. Even if they didn’t have a clear view of each other, they seemed to know exactly where the other one was.

“They really liked the Christmas tree out there.” Seth pointed out, thankfully made the other man smile.

“I’m guessing you haven’t spotted that one ornament with that baby picture of you butt naked on your living room carpet.” He answered.

“What?!?!” he Seth was sorely tempted to run back inside only to look for that offending decoration but was stopped by his friends laughter. After an exasperated sigh Seth turned back towards the other man and sarcastically said; “Haha, very funny Ambrose.” When his words only garnered a shrugged from the older man Seth felt the need to ask again. “You’re only joking right?”

“Nope,” he answered with that ‘p’ sound popping from his lips. “But it doesn’t have your name on it, so maybe you could get away with saying it’s actually Brandon.”

“How do you know it wasn’t?” the Armenian countered.

“I’d recognize that pale ass anywhere.” He joked with a giant grin on his face.

“That's disturbing,” he replied and his best to look serious but when he saw Dean’s face trying to hold back his laughter, Seth himself lost it.

The laughter died down and the cold didn’t seem to bother Seth as much as it did minutes ago. A comfortable blanket of silence fell over them. It was easy to just be quiet with Dean, but Seth knew he couldn’t have it easy. Not now.

"Seriously though, they loved the Christmas tree, mom especially." he nudged the older wrestler with his shoulder.

"It was nothing." he answered with a small smile. "It was kinda nice. Hadn't put up a Christmas Tree like that like ever."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"We weren't that big on Christmas growing up. Dad was out of state. Mom was working nights. My sister tried to cook for us two, but we never saw the point of having a tree without presents. So, we just never had it." he explained simply. Seth feeling sad for younger version of Dean having to go through that, but oddly happy to have him finally open up to him.

Maybe it would be a mistake, but Dean gave him an in so Seth decided to take the leap.

“That why you left?” he asked cautiously.

Dean sighed but then shook his head. “You were having your thing with your family and your kids… I don’t know… just didn’t feel right to be there.”

“Dean, you’re a part of this too…” Seth reassured him, which only made the other man laugh but with no humor.

“I’m really not… I mean this is the very first time I’ve ever been here. I’m basically just passing through.” He pointed out with another noncommittal shrug.

The thought of Dean thinking that he was some sort of drifter in Seth’s home made his heart ache.

“Dean, none of this would have been possible without you.” Seth reassured the other man, who again laughed humorlessly. “I’m serious… You think I would have gotten as far as I had and as fast as I had without your help? Dean, before you came to FCW I was more than ready to jump ship off to TNA. I felt like the only indie shmuck out there in the sea of baby oiled body builders and football players.” That finally got the other man to smile. “Then when we got the call for The Shield… I couldn’t have asked for any better partners than you and Ro. Like I don’t think that would have gotten as far as it did with anyone else. Then when we had to break do I need to remind you who gave me my push?” he asked.

The rhetorical question making the other man pause remembering what happened that night almost 5 years ago.

*flashback*

They had just come from a successful night from Payback 2014. All three were riding high entering the arena for Monday Night Raw until they were called to the office. There in Vince McMahon’s office, barely an hour before the show started, they were informed that The Shield was to disband that night. It was a complete shock to the three of them and the urge to object died on their lips once Vince had said it was non-negotiable.

All three sat there in disbelief as Vince, Hunter, and Stephanie as well as some people from creative were there to explain what exactly was going to happen tonight. They shared their plan to have Dean Ambrose, being the most experienced and seemingly the leader of the group, to betray the group by landing a couple of chair shots on both Roman and Seth from behind.

It was the middle of this meeting when Dean was bold enough to actually speak up.

“No,” Dean said, his face expressing his deep thought.

“What do you mean no?” Hunter asked angrily, “You heard what Vince had said, this is non-negotiable.”

“No,” Dean repeated. His boldness making Seth’s hair stand on end. “Not about the break… but about me.” He added which got confused reactions from everyone else in the room. Dean then leaned forward as if he was about to share some secret with the room. “I can’t turn heel…” he spoke as if he were pointing out the obvious because; “It would be too fucking obvious.”

That caused the people in the room to raise their brows in surprise. Roman even turning his chair to look at his best friend in the eye like he was crazy. Seth just looking on wanting to listen to other any other alternatives at this point.

“Don’t you see?” Dean asked the room before he stood up to make his point. “I’m already the heel of the group. For those who knew Moxley then they’d know how much of an asshole I was and expect it. For those who’d only known me as Ambrose everyone knew how much of an asshole I’d been in this group…” he proceeded to remind them of what has transpired over the last couple of months. “I’m unstable. I’m a lunatic. I’m a loudmouth, power hungry, asshole… of course I’d turn heel.” He pointed out almost sounding like he was ready to agree with them only to turn a sharp left. “Which is why I can’t, it’s too easy.” He added as he crossed his arms and casually leaned against the conference room tables, like he wasn't making a multi-million dollar company move to his whim. Everyone else quieted down not knowing what to do with Dean’s information.

“So…” Hunter was the one to break the silence. “What do you propose?”

Dean took a thoughtful look around the room. Suspiciously eyeing his bosses and the companies creative team. His eyes only somewhat softening when they fell on Roman and Seth. His sight shifting from one to the other. His eyes having a intensity that made the other two shiver in their seats.The gears in his head moving with unspoken ideas.

“Seth should do it.” He finally answered after a long pause.

“What?!” the rest of the room exclaimed, along with Seth himself. Roman just sitting there in shock at the words he was hearing.

“He’s the one that makes the most sense.” Dean continued, “I can’t do it because it’s basically what everyone already expects. Roman can’t do it coz, let’s admit it, you’re pushing him for the face of this company and we can’t have him turn heel,” he directed to Vince accusingly.

“Seth,” Dean sat down and moved his chair closer to him as if he was imparting important wisdom. “You’re the quiet, evil mastermind. Of course you’d be the first to betray us. You’re whole character had been building us up to break down everything in our path. You’ve been put up as the brains of the operation… it wouldn’t make sense for you to not see me turn on you. What makes sense is you turning on us… I mean… no one would ever believe it. No one would ever believe that you could do that to us. It would fucking shock the world.”

Seth just sat there listening to Dean’s words. Words that were soft enough to touch him but almost sharp enough to hurt. Deep down he knew Dean was making sense, but the thought of it scared the crap out of him. Could he really?

“Dean, You do know what you’re suggesting here, don’t you?” Hunter again broke the silence, his question only met a casual shrug of agreement from the wrestler. “You are suggesting that we redirect a push tailor made for you to someone else entirely. You are throwing away an opportunity to make the biggest noise in the company to date; to cause the break in The Shield. Do you have any idea what you’re giving up?” Hunter asked him as if he were truly a lunatic and not just a character he played.

“If I did it, then I’d be wasting the biggest push the company could ever give on a shitty outcome anyone could have easily seen from a mile away. I’m not throwing the opportunity away, I’m trying to make it stick.” He explained. “And it will… if you have Seth do it.” Dean pointed to Seth like he was the answer to every question.

Another tense and pregnant pause fell over the room. The team not knowing exactly what to do. Whispers going back and forth from writers, angrily blaming each other for not thinking this shit through. The silence was finally broken, but not by Hunter.

“I like it.” Vince finally spoke with a clap. “Be ready by 8.” He instructed everyone. “And you!” he pointed to Seth alone. “Don’t screw up.” he warned before motioning for everyone else to leave his office.

Once outside and away form earshot Seth grabbed Dean by the arm and made him turn towards him.

“Dean, what the fuck were you thinking?” Seth asked without waiting for an answer. “You just threw away your shot.” Which again only made the other man shrug and purse his lips like it was nothing. “Is this a joke to you?” he finally asked angrily.

Roman was about to step in to calm the situation down but was stopped by Dean’s hand to his chest silently telling the other man that he could handle this.

“Seth, there is no other way to do this.” He answered plainly. “As much as I hate it. It’s best to end on the top. No one will see it coming… and definitely no one will see it coming from you of all people. Like I said, nobody is ever gonna think you could betray us.” he added with a comforting hand to Seth’s shoulder.

“But your shot.” Seth repeated.

“I’ll get another one.” He again shrugged it off, but Seth finally saw how genuine it actually was.

“Are you sure?” he asked again, knowing full well that when Dean Ambrose wrapped his mind around something it would take heaven and hell to pry it out of his grasp.

Dean only smiled softly at him and spoke “Like I said before-” He then leaned in close to whisper something in his ear “You’re the only one worth fighting around here.” He added his smile growing big and as he clapped the man on his back right before he had made his way to their locker room

***

That was 5 years ago, but the memory was still fresh in Seth’s mind. The generosity Dean had showed him all those year ago. The skill. The experience. All of it. Dean was like no other. Like had had said earlier in his little speech, he would like to think he had gotten this far this fast by himself, but being honest with himself he would never have gotten this far without Dean.

“You changed my life Dean…” he said.

“Seth, you are incredible. You’re talented. You’re hard working. You’ve taken every obstacle that’s ever faced you and threw it out of the way.” He pointed out. “You could have easily gotten here without me. No problem.” He spoke with a certainty that was almost as frigid as the cold.

Seth looked at the man standing in front of him. His voice rougher than usual. His eyes droopier than they normally were. His body slouched over a bit more than before. This was not Dean, not him completely. Dean was tired, Seth couldn't believe he never noticed it before.

“What happened to you?” he asked out of nowhere, his question making the older man stop and stare at him in confusion. “What made you come here Dean?” he asked more clearly this time. The question only making the other man turn away not being able to look at him in the eye.

“You have been running around all over the place since you got here. Never stopping. When you weren’t helping me, you were helping mom cook. When you weren’t doing that you were heading to the hardware store for something for my dad. When you weren’t doing that you were going off shopping with Dd. Then fixing this place up, cleaning with Brandon and putting up the tree in the middle of the café. Then before all this you had driven more than 12 hours straight just to get here after you had just landed at home in Vegas…” all the worries and fears Seth had been feeling for his friend over the past couple of days finally spilling out of him in torrents. The dam of social niceties finally breaking from the deep need to know what was going on with his friend. "What made you run?"

When Dean still refused to look at him in the eye, Seth raised both his hand in defeat not knowing what else to do and started to walk backwards to leave the other man to retreat shamefully back inside.

“I got robbed!” he finally exclaimed, causing Seth to stop in his tracks and turn back towards him more confused with the answer than he should.

“I got robbed.” Dean repeated defeatedly, with something else sounding very foreign for him that Seth couldn’t pin. “I got back thinking I’d come home to my house in the desert and my girlfriend waiting for me.” He explained. “Instead, my house was ransacked. My TV, refrigerator, and microwave gone. My furniture just also gone. The only things left was my bed, some clothes, in the few memorabilia I had kept from before.”

From everything Seth was expecting to hear, this was nowhere near to it. He stood there next to him, watching him as he spoke his frustrations to the night air, not able to look at Seth directly. That’s when Seth realized that unfamiliar hitch in Dean’s voice was something he never really heard before; shame.

“Why I drove all the way out of here? I don’t really know. God knows it’s not the first time I’ve ever been robbed. Just the first time I had stuff truly worth robbing.” He bitterly laughed at his own joke. “I was only supposed to drive to the police station to make a report. That was it. But the second I got back in my car after that, the thought of going back to my sad and empty house just fucking broke me. I couldn’t. So I turned the other way and drove as far as I could. I didn't care where.”

“For most of the drive I was trying to convince myself that it was a misunderstanding.” He began to talk with his hands, wildly gesturing the way he usually would when high on emotions. “I was willing to believe it was anything; a biker gang, a cult, damn aliens, but it wasn't. I reached Nebraska when the cops called back.” He paused to look down sadly and made a fist angrily, swallowing the urge to hit something. “They found Melanie trying to pawn my stuff along the strip, with her husband.”

‘That bitch!’ was what Seth wanted to say but bit his tongue, not wanting to stop the other man from finally spilling everything he had been hiding.

“My so called girlfriend and her husband, had been forking my shit all over town since I left.” He added. “I fucking gave her the keys to my place. I practically fucking invited her to rob me, like a dumbass.”

Again, Seth had wanted to say something, hating the self-loathing coming from the other man, but controlled himself until he needed to.

“I don’t even know anymore what I’m bitching about.” Dean said frustratingly. “Like I said, it’s not like it’s the first time I was ever robbed. It’s not like it’s the first time some girl just ended up using me and tossing me aside. It’s not like it’s the first time I came home to an empty house.” His voice sounding so defeated.

Dear God, Seth wanted to say something.

“I just thought it would be different, you know?” he asked rhetorically. “All those times before. In a different life. I had just accepted it all making up excuses; I was robbed because I lived in a shitty neighborhood with people low enough to trade their grandma for weed and coke. I was used coz maybe even though they told me they liked how tall I was, and how blue my eyes were, or how deep my dimples were. I was still trailer trash to them, maybe good for a good time but not for anything more. I was betrayed coz let’s be honest who would stick around with a coked up junkie teenager who was obsessed with professional wrestling.” He spoke about himself with such hate. “I mean the drugs were bad enough, but have me be a dumbass only good at fighting and getting hit, how the fuck was anyone ever supposed to stick to that.”

Seth’s heart was aching for him. He wrung his hands constantly like he physically had to stop himself from speaking.

“Then it all started to come around.” He finally started to speak with an inkling of hope in his voice. “Got signed to WWE. Got put in a stable with you and Roman. Getting the matches and screen time anyone in their right mind would fucking dream of. Like I had finally made it.” He spoke with a sad smile. “And yet, shit like this still happens.”

“This happening to me again and again; even outside Cincinnati, even after getting clean and mostly sober, even with the job, even with the fancy house, and the six figure salary. Even after all that, and this shit still happens.” He seemed to be at a lost for words, fearing what he was thinking of saying next. “It gets a guy thinking you know; Maybe it wasn’t the neighborhood. Maybe it wasn’t the drugs. Maybe it wasn’t the local skanks I had blamed. Maybe it wasn’t the job or the paycheck. Maybe it wasn’t the lack of success, nor fame, nor common sense that did me in.”

“Maybe it was just me…” heartbroken voice just aching out of him. “Maybe I’m the fuck up. Maybe, just maybe… I was just never supposed to have anything good in my life for myself.”

‘That’s not true,’ Seth wanted to say.

“Maybe I’m just destined to be a sad and lonely fucker who dies alone in the middle of the desert.” He spoke with such sad resignation.

“No,” Seth finally spoke. He stood right next to him until their sides met.

Seth’s warm hand reaching down to find Dean’s and intertwining them in a strong grip he did not want to let go. Dean’s eyes turned as he followed the sight of their hands clasped, his face growing in confusion. Questions dying on his lips once Seth put his free hand against Dean’s winter bitten cheek, feeling even warmer against his cold skin.

Seth just couldn’t listen to another word. Not one more hateful comment Dean could make about himself. All the other words Seth had wanted to say died out once he came face to face with him. It was then he had realized no words would ever be good enough to tell him what he felt.

He inched closer and closer until their noses met. Seth's hot breath against his lips. Just as Dean was finding the words to ask, Seth answered before they could leave his mouth. His lips sealing them from ever being uttered. Soft and chapped and a little dry, but Seth could honestly say he’d never had a kiss meant so much to him. He wanted to drown all the words he had said just now; every hateful and angry word towards himself, and replace them with nothing but good. He wanted to pour every ounce of comfort, and care, and warmth, and good, just plain and simple good in this kiss.

A simple tentative touch of the lips slowly grew. Every turn of Seth’s head towards him wanting to taste him deeper. His mouth opening for him wanting Dean to fill his mouth with whatever good could muster out of himself, wanting to prove it had always been there. Their beards causing a delicious friction to grow between them. Their tongues practically feeding each other muffled moans. Dean tasted like mint and wine and warmth, Seth never knew and never wanted to stop. He had let go of his hand but only to have his hand wrapped around the nape of neck. His fingers meeting soft curls. Winter be damned. He didn’t wanted to let Dean go. Never.

It was Dean who let go.

Seth felt a soft push against his shoulders. It was so sudden, Seth’s lips were still puckered and wet from the kiss when he was forced to make space between them. His eyes slowly opening. Warm and worried brown met confused and concerned blue.

“Seth, what was that?” he asked, voice on the edge of conflicting emotions.

“I-” Seth lost his words in all his thoughts. His hand that was still wrapped around Dean’s neck were also being pushed away. “I-”

“Seth, what-” Dean struggled with his words as if they were also lost I the confusion. Stepping away from him. “Why did you kiss me?”

“I…” he started to answer but couldn’t find the words. He couldn’t find the exact words.

“Seth?” Dean asked once more.

“I just-” Seth started. “I couldn’t- I couldn’t let you…” Dean’s face growing even more confused. “I couldn’t listen to you talk like that anymore.” He said sadly.

The way Dean’s face dropped, he knew those were not the words he had wanted to hear.

“So, I say some sob story and now you’re all over me?” Dean’s voice growing in anger coming from somewhere Seth didn’t know.

“No, Dean…” he tried to reach out to him but was only brushed off.

“So what is it then?” Dean asked. “What changed?”

“I-” Seth again having difficulty finding the words. “I don’t know…”

Dean’s face falling even further; from confusion, to anger, to sadness. “You don’t know?”

“I don’t…” Seth tried to speak.

“You don’t know?” he asked. “You really don’t know?” Seth could only sadly shake his head, not knowing what the other man wanted to hear. “Coz something must have changed…” he added.

“What do you mean?” he asked back.

“I mean, you’ve never wanted to kiss me ever before.” He pointed out. “Now suddenly you do? Just like that, out of the blue? No reason why? What?”

“Why does there have to be a reason why?” Seth asked desperately.

“Coz I’ve been in love with you for 8 years!” he finally confessed. “You have never wanted to kiss me. You had never even looked at me twice.”

Seth froze. The chill of the winter night seemed to have seeped into his bones along with the desperate confessions of the man in front of him.

“I was never an option to you. I was never anyone like that to you before. Like ever.” His voice defeated and confused. “I was just crazy Dean with the jokes and the stories and the flirting and a good time. That's all I was. I was never… I mean, you never took me seriously before. You never wanted me before. You never could. Why would you?”

‘Was that how Dean really saw himself in Seth’s eyes?’ Seth was desperate to pull Dean in an show him how wrong he was.

But again Dean pushed him away.

Before Seth could try and reached for him again, Dean turned towards the back door opening letting the warm glow of the inside out. There stood Holly with hugging herself tightly as she called the boys inside before the cold got worse.

Seth couldn’t care less about the cold.

But Dean took the opportunity and ran out. Seth went and followed him. Through the crowd, Dean seemed to just blend in as he gently pushed people aside with a couple of quick ‘excuse me’ and muffled ‘sorry’. Somehow blocking Seth’s own way through the crowd to catch him.

It was when a fan tried to pull him for a photo when Seth saw Dean’s quickly retreating form go out of the front door.

Seth as quickly but as gently as he could got through the rest of the crowd to go out the same door needing to catch up to him. But once he got outside in the cold winter night in the middle of the intersection in front of the café, Seth had no idea where Dean had ran off to.

His dream and his nightmare coming true all in one night.

‘Dean was in love with him.’ The realization ran through his head unbelievably. ‘Dean has been in love with him for 8 years.’ How had he never seen it. Suddenly, a flood of all their times together in the past came rushing through him. Every late night talk. Every day off spent together. Every fight. Every drive. Every disagreement. Every day. Every night. Every word.

Dean had always been there to give him everything, and he never noticed.

How could he have never noticed?

#blagamuffin writes stuff #check please series #ambrollins #ambrollins fanfiction #dean ambrose #seth rollins #ambrollins falling in love #love confessions #christmas time coz i write so fucking slow it hurts #fanfiction

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ecessive-dreamer · 5 years ago

Text

Title.

He sees her passing, bags of chanel in each hand, yet her head is still wrapped in a book as she walks, glancing up to the street every two minutes. He froze when he thought she saw him, walking straight toward him. Her head was still in the books, “Oh my, I’m so sorry” Luna says as she bumps with him head to head,her book landing flat on the ground.

Luna mutters,“Donovan?”

he takes a deep breath, she looks so beautiful, her skin as pale as winter snow, almond green eyes,and black luscious hair. Recounting every moment spent with her, tracing the outline of her lips, memorizing her face, and yet here she is standing in front of me and i'm still in awe of her.

“what are you doing here?” i ask her as nonchalant as possible while i pick up the bags that landed on the floor.

“Oh you know how i am on weekend sales..wow i haven't seen you in ages” she says as she eyes him, looking at his slightly crooked nose, ocean blue eyes and disheveled dirty blonde hair. Same old Donovan she thought.

“Well yeah of course how could i forget” I say as she turns away, blushing. Recounting just like him all the days they would walk hand in hand, at each and every single store and just like that the sharp pain returns, and the haunting memories come back. He destroyed her. It's been five years, but five years isn't enough. She manages to grab all her bags, as he hands her the book.

“Ah, you still read british literature huh? I guess some things don't change” I say. Her smile fades as fast as it appeared. I look at her with such intensity in my eyes

“My reason for life. Not living, but life. That was the touch. And she was his reason for life, and why he must survive” her breath catches

“ I’m sorry i have to go.”

“Luna, wait. It's from your book, atonement!” I yell as she crosses the street, away from him. He takes out the pack of cigarette that's been itching to be smoked all day. She brings that out of him, after all this time, seeing her face, smelling her scent, hearing her voice. He needed her again, and he was going to have her.

*Beep beep beep* i roll over my bed, it's 5:00a.m. i sit up “shit” as my feet hit the cold wooden floor. I forgot to turn on the heater last night. I put on my socks and roll on my hoodie as I walk to the thermostat and turn it from 50 to 70 in my small studio apartment. I walk to the kitchen and start my routine. I turn on my coffee while simultaneously brush my teeth. I hop in the shower as my coffee is getting ready. As soon as I stepped out of the shower I wipe away the fog on the mirror and look at myself. Ive lived here for years and still haven’t made any progress. Still the same apartment same job same remorse. Hell even the same coffee, as I realize the coffee is still on and rush to my kitchen. Pour a cup, black. I put my work clothes on and head out the door with my coffee.

It gets me everytime, everytime I walk out of the front door of my building that im actually living in new York city. I cant imagine anywhere else I want to be. Way better than my town back home. Yeah sure I miss my family and what not but being on my own is what ive always wanted. I walk my 6 blocks to work thinking about yesterday; I actually saw her. Its been months of almost nothing. The only time ive seen her was in pictures and memories that would be occasionally sparked by an object that reminded me of her.

I walked into the building of my job. I do journalism for a small time newspaper company. Same job for 7 months and still no raise. Its nothing to complain about I make enough for me to live comfortable but yet I still feel like my time is more valuable.

As I make it to the 4th floor, my floor my boss is always the first to greet me as his office is right by the elevator door. “morning don” he says, “morning murphy, hows it going this morning” I return. He replies with a big sigh, “ sales haven’t been so well so its causing us to do alittle remodling of who we have here.” “oh?’ I replied with a nervous voice hoping I wasn’t being given the talk about being let go. He laughs “don you have nothing to worry about, though im glad I keep you on your toes this early in the morning.” “I need you to show around the new intern, shes a possibility at a new columnist here and I want you to take close attention to her to see if she is going to be an asset to this company”, he asks. I reply with a uncertain tone,” I don’t know murphy I have this article ive been working on and I don’t know if I can afford the extra baggage.” He replied to me with a stern face,” it wasn’t a question” and as soon as I noticed his face I quickly replied with a smile on my face “no problem boss.” He looks back with a artificial smile on his face,” great shes in your office. Her name is tiffiany. You know like the diamond.”

I walk to my office which is completely on the opposite side of the floor. As I walk into my office I knock on the door. She turns and looks at me with a grin. The first thing I notice was he hair. Golden not like a dumb blonde kind of look but almost a los angles kind of blonde where he hair is almost as bright as the sun. she was short but not to short maybe around 5’3 which is short for my abnormally tall figure. I reach my hand out to greet her as she does the same. “hi im tiffany. Ive heard allot about you.” As my hand meets her hand I realize how soft her skin is which causes me to gently squeeze her hand. “heeee” I reply. She looks back at me with a puzzled face. I have no idea why words wouldn’t come out of my mouth.“ hi im Donovan but you can call me don. Im sorry for coming across as an idiot I have no idea why my mouth wouldn’t work.” She laughed, “its okay I have that affect on people sometimes” she said with a joking tone. I grin” wow a since of humor that’s something your gonna lose working here” she laughed. Her laugh was cute. “so im gonna be working with you?” I asked her. “yeah I guess your stuck with me but its only a month so your gonna have to bare with me.” “a month? Oh no I don’t know if im going to be able to do it” I said. Her smile went away. “oh im sorry I just was joking” I said. She started to laugh, “ wow cute and sensitive, maybe ill have to stay longer than a month.” We both looked at eachother and smiled knowing that there would be no problem working together.

After a week of work I head home on a Saturday night. On my walk home I get a call from my buddy david I haven’t spoke to him in weeks hes been busy with his schooling. “hey man whats up?” saying answering the phone. “hey you still live on the upper east side right?” he asks. “yeah” I reply “well im in town and wondering if you wanted to get some drinks or something?” he asks. “hell yeah, where at?” I ask him. “meet me a napoleons bar? Ill order you a beer” he says. “alright man see you in a few” i say as I hang up the phone.

I walk into napoleons and see dave. He raises his beer up to get my attention. I walk over and we embrace eachother in a hug. “whats going on man” he asks. “same shit just a Saturday” I reply. He laughs, I ask him the same “ whats going on man”. “well for starters im a month away from graduation” he says. “congrats man im proud of you, next round is on me” I tell him in an exciting voice.

Weve been sitting catching up for hours and have had enough beer and bar food for me to be sick for months. He asks,” hey man I know it’s a touchy subject but what ever happened with you and luna?” I look and reply with the most honest answer I could think of,” things just didn’t work out. He looks at me and says,” he man that’s too bad I know you really liked the girl but shit happens, hell look at me im not even done with college and already divorced.” I look at him and he looks at me and we both laugh, “yeah but I started working with this new girl and I don’t know I shes kind of funny” I tell him. “oh yeah? Tell me about her” he asks. I tell him ”well shes kind of an asshole but she has a sence of humor, she has nice hair and big blue eyes. Hell she can even write too.” “you like her?” he asks. “ no man I just work with her” I say. He looks at me with a face that says “really?” he says “ come on man you wouldn’t have brought her up if you didn’t ask her out man” he does have a point but im not sure maybe I just need to focus on work plus I don’t think im quite sure for anything yet. The conversation dies down after a couple more beers and we both say our farewells and part ways.

Its Monday all over again. I wake up make the coffee take a shower but something is urging me. Im actually excited to go to work. Im putting on clothes that give me confidence. I leave out of my apartment and make it to work 15 min early. I walk past murphys office saying ,”morning boss.” He replies with “good morning” but I walk past him and am almost on a mission to my office. “hey don” she says, I reply “ good morning tiff.” She looked great this morning. I don’t know what it was about her. The way she smelled the way her hair was tied up in a bun or maybe it was just the way her hair shined back at me as the new York gloomy day approached. “hey tiff?” I ask. She replys with a speedly “yes?” “ would you want to go out with me sometime?” she looks at me with a puzzled face. I realize what I just asked and I say “ im sorry im not sure what came over me. I don’t know its just a new week and” she cuts me off in the middle of my rant, “what time would you like to pick me up?” I look in shock, surpisingly I got this far. “um after work maybe we could grab a bite to eat?” I ask“ id love that” she replies.

After the work day we both leave together and I take her to this little Italian place a couple blocks from work. All I can think to myself is how well it went. How well it was kept going. After dinner I called a cab for her and payed him to take her to her house. Before she got in the cab she kissed me. Just a peck, I was caught almost by surprise. She says “ thank you I loved tonight and hope it can happen again” I replied “ me too, and id love too. Was that you asking me out?” she laughs “ yes but you cant tell anybody” she gets into the cab and we both say goodnight.

I walk into my office. Its tiffs last day, but I have a pitt in my stomach cause im not quite sure where this leaves us. Her and I have been going out more frequently and it seems to get more serious. Im not sure what to think of all of it but I guess I might just have to find out. I get out of the elevator and walk to my office. Tiff turns around and sees me, “hey hun she runs up and hugs me, you know what today is right?” of course how could I forget” I reply as I walk past her and sit on my desk. “hey? You okay?” she asks. I respond shrugging my shoulders “ yeah im alright” she sees the worry in my eyes. “is this about us?” she asks me. I look at her as she looks at me. “yes it is” she says. “talk to me” she says. I look at her “ what are we going to do? Like tiff honestly I have feelings for you and im not quite sure how were going to go with you leaving” she looks at me and smiles “ hun just because im leaving this job doesn’t mean I plan on leaving anywhere out of your life” I look back at her and smile as she looks at me. She walks over and sits on my lap and says “ lets go out tonight and celebrate, a new chapter of things”. I smile “ I have to decline I have to finish this article for tomorrows paper but ill tell you what, tomorrow night sounds excellent. Only if your free?” she looks at me and says “of course im free, sounds like a plan”.

I get off of work late, its raining. I look at the time and its almost 1am. I start my walk home. On my walk home I cant think about how much im grateful for how things are turning out in my life. I mean hey just a couple months ago I felt like I had no direction in life but now I feel like I might be moving forward. I

I walk into my apartment with my soaking coat and hang it up on the hook. I turn my heater up and start to change into my sleep wear. Right as I hit my bed I hear a knock on my door. “ who could be here this late?” I think to myself. I walk to my door peep hole and peer through all I see is a women with her hood up. I open the door and as soon as I opened it I can feel me stomach in my shoes. “luna?” I say in a muttered voice. “hi Donny” she replies. “what are you doing here?” I ask. She looks at me “I was out and just happened to stop by I figured you would still be up. The late sleeper I remember you as” She says to me. “yeah I just got off work and was getting ready to hit the sack” I tell her “ oh im sorry I was just looking for someone to talk to I can go if youd like.” She responds. “ no come in ill make some coffee” I respond. She comes in and sits down I stand in the kitchen and start to make coffee. “Nothing has changed about this place huh?” she says over the coffee being brewed. “nope not much, I barely spend time in here anymore” I tell her. She looks in a surprised look,” oh out with your girlfriend all the time?” she said in a sarcastic but serious manner. “actually yes well I mean you could call it that, and work” I told her. “oh?” she says,”hows work going?” I knew she was beating around the bush but who was I to call it out. “ works great actually ive been moving up in the chain and really enjoying my work” I told her. “enjoying work who are you? Is this even Donovan?” she says in a joking way. I laugh as I hand her the coffe,”yeah you can say I guess im moving in some kind of direction but who knows if its right or wrong.” She laughs,” and there he is Same old downer Donny I remember.” She says laughing. “how about you, whats miss luna doing with her life?” I ask. “well ive finally become a published writer and im actually on my way to getting my doctorate in british literature.” She tells me in such detail but I start to unvoluntarely ignore as I start to get lost in her brown eyes. We continue catching up throughout coffee and end up staying up all night.

My alarm for 6 am goes off and I realize that I have work. As I go to turn it off I walk back into the room and lune is standing by the sink rinsing her cup. I cant help but remember every morning waking up and seeing her standing there making our coffee in on of my oversized shirts of mine. After all this was our first place. I look at her the way I used to look at her and she turns back and looks at me. I walk to her and she walks towards me and there seems to almost be a silence in the city of new York. All I can pay attention to is her. We walk so close to eachother that I can feel her breathe on my neck. We both move in slowly and interlock lips. We kiss, for the first time in almost a year of not talking and it feels like the first time I ever layed my lips on hers. It felt like nothing else mattered. Like everything was oblivious to this moment. We move to the bedroom and without a word being said our clothes seem to disappear and both move slowly into the bed that we picked out together. Everything became nothing and nothing became everything. The way she looked at me was the way I was staring at her. A year soon collapsed into nothing. Hours felt like minutes and the day soon fell to night.

The next day I woke up and she was laying on my arm. I had this overwhelming guilt. It clouded over me. I notice my phone on the table. I pick it up and have new messages. They are from tiff,” hey haven’t heard from you all day. Hope your okay? Lemme know about dinner.” I hit my hand to my face “shit I had dinner with her last night and I missed it” I thought to myself. Im sitting on my couch and feel a hand reach over my shoulder to my chest and kiss my neck. “goodmorning” luna said. I stand up and look at her breathing heavily. “ why?” I ask her. She looks at me with a questioned face. “why does everytime I feel like things are moving in a direction that I like I take 10 steps back with you” I tell her. She looks at me “Donny I miss you” she says. “you didn’t miss me. You didn’t miss me when I saw you in the street and ran away from me. You didn’t miss me when I woke up one morning and you were gone for reasons I still don’t know. Why did you have to come back?” I yell. She looks at me with a tear rolling down her face and says “im gonna go” I immediately realize what I say and regret every word that came out of my mouth. Its too late to take it back I know who luna is and she wont forget that ever. I stand back as I watch her leave for the last time. As she walks out of the door I fall to the ground in tears realizing that the only person ive truly loved I pushed away.

Tiffinay and I are moving all of my stuff from one apartment to our next. Its been 6 months since she left and tiff still doesn’t know she exsists. As im finishing cleaning out my bedroom I notice a book laying in my drawer in my room im never seen before. Theres a sticker on it that says “for you, love luna.” I look at the book and realize there is a writing on the inside that says “our story.” I turn back and take one final look at the apartment as I close the door to that chapter of my life.

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