#imagine losing both of your parents within a year

[emperorcartagia]

having senna refa feels tonight

[justmeinadaze]

A Love That Will Survive (Eddie Munson X You)

A/N: I seriously have no idea where this came from but I worked really hard on it and I think it's the longest story I've ever written.

Please enjoy <3

Warnings: Husband Eddie & Fem Wife Y/N, The timeframes shift from young to older with 20 years of Marriage between them, SMUT, lose of virginity, dirty talk, lots of needy energy but all of it is with the love these two have. FLUFF, dad Eddie loves his kiddo and wife and vice versa.

ANGST, reader has an unexpected pregnancy her senior year of high school, she's from the richer side of Hawkins so her parents hate Eddie causing problems multiple times, Eddie and Y/N are in therapy, reader feels Eddie pulling away, Flashbacks with fights between the two of them (verbally), Eddie gets into a fight defending Y/N when some asshole grabs her arm. Y/N defends her husband against her parents. Eddie talking about fears of becoming his dad.

More than anything this is about a couple who's struggled with trials and tribulations of life and marriage but still love each other immensely.

Word Count: 12,541

Eddie Masterlist/ Donate to Me

1986

“Dooooo you love me more thaaan Henderson?”

“Yes. That was the easiest question you’ve ever asked me.”, Eddie chuckles as he blows the smoke from his cigarette towards the window. 

“Do you love me moooore than D&D?”

“Uh oh. They’re getting harder now. Of course, baby.”, he smirks as he kisses your forehead.

“More than your guitar?”, you giggle as he heavily sighs and tosses the stick between his fingers out the window before flipping you onto your back as he nuzzles his nose into your neck. 

“How dare you bring my guitar into this!”, he lightly scolds as he nibbles at your skin making you laugh harder as you wrap your arms around him. “Y/N, I fell in love you the moment I met you. I was waitin’ for a girl like you…” Your eyes roll as he laughs through his teeth before singing, “…to come into my life.”

“You’re such a dork.”

“I love you to.”

***

2006

“So…how have things been this past week?”, the therapist asks as her gaze shifts between the two of you. 

Neither you nor Eddie says a word as his eyes penetrate into the floor as if hoping it would open and swallow him up. You two had been married for almost 20 years and to some that would be an incredible milestone of love but little did the people around you know how mind-numbing marriage had become. 

When you two met there was a fire within him that you absolutely adored. He was always so animated about things he enjoyed like playing guitar or D & D. Even when he spoke about you, his hands would flail as he desperately tried to get the words to leave his brain to accurately describe how perfect you were to him. 

You weren’t sure when it happened but at some point that light and the romance just…disappeared. When Eddie came home from work smelling like motor oil and beer, he barely said two words to you before showering and crashing in bed. If he didn’t promptly fall asleep, he would pound his feet against the mobile home floors in his sweats and slight beer gut with his bare, tattooed heavy chest on display as he headed out front again to smoke a cigarette. You still thought he was incredibly attractive with scruff along his chin and the way his lose strands of hair hung around his face when he pulled it back for work. Unfortunately, the two of you hadn’t been intimate in quite some time, barely even holding hands anymore when you went out somewhere. 

The few times you did have sex, you both only took off the clothing required and he thrust into you with barely if any foreplay until you both came. Afterwards, there was no cuddles or soft kiss. You two would roll over and just go to sleep.

“Y/N?”

“Huh?”

“How’s this week been?”, the therapist asked again but softer as if treading water.

“Oh, uh, it’s been alright. Caleb went back to school on Sunday so that was hard. I miss him when he’s away.”

“I can imagine. Having any child away from home is hard but when its your only child…oof.”, she chuckles. “How about you, Eddie? How did you feel when your son left?”

“Um, I mean…it’s fine. I miss him to but I’m proud of him for going to school so…”

“Neither of us got to.”

His eyes close slightly before focusing on the woman in front of him. 

“Why did you say that just then, Y/N?”, she asks in her inquiring high pitch voice that tells you, you just stepped into a “lesson”.

“I just meant that I’m proud of him to.”

“Because he got into college or because you two didn’t?”

“What’s the difference?”

“That’s what I’m asking you.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”, you growl. “I’m proud that my son doesn’t have to struggle like we did. He can go out, live his life, and do whatever he wants. That’s all I ever wanted for him.”

“Because of me you weren’t able to.”, Eddie grumbles.

“That’s not what I said.”

“Not in so many words but—”

“Do you blame him?”

Everything became silent as your husband leaned back on the couch and heavily sighed. 

“No, I don’t.”, you responded sternly as you folded your arms. “Me getting pregnant wasn’t his fault.”

“But you resent him a bit?”

Without waiting to hear your answer, Eddie got up and stomped out of the office.

##############

1986

The metalhead paces back and forth with his hands on his hips as you sit silently on his bed with your head hung. 

“I don’t understand. We were so careful and we used protection. How could this have happened?”

“The nurse suggested that the condom may have broken.”

“It didn’t look that way.”

“Oh, because you checked it thoroughly before throwing it in the garbage?”, you respond sassily as he angrily glares your way. “What are we going to do, Eddie?”

Hearing the pain in your voice breaks his heart and he promptly places himself beside you to pull you to his side. 

“Everything’s going to be alright, sweetheart. We can do this. We graduate in a couple of months and then I can get a job at the shop over here. I know cars so it shouldn’t be a problem. You, of course, can stay here till we find a house and then we can—”

Your lips cut him off as you cup his face in your hands to hold him to you. When you pull away, his palm laces around the back of your neck to keep your forehead on his.

“Will you marry me?” When you giggle through your tears, he can’t help but laugh as well. “I’m serious. I can take care of you, babe. Plus, you know I’ve wanted to marry you since I first met you. We’re just kind of…skipping a few steps here…”

Your eyes watch him as he yanks off one of his rings and kneels down on one knee in front of you with your hand in his. 

“I’m gonna get you a better ring, princess, I promise but like you this is special to me and I mean it when I say I want you to be my wife forever.”

Smiling, you kiss him again as you slide his ring on your finger. 

“Of course, I’ll marry you, Eddie Munson. 

***

The entire ride back home he didn’t say a word; chain smoking his cigarettes along the way. 

“Eddie, wait. Can we talk?”, you plead as soon as you enter the front door.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

 “I don’t resent you or the life we have!”, you scream as he tried to disappear down the hallway. 

“Oh, great. Thanks, sweetheart. Now that I know that I can fucking sleep tonight.”, he responded with a tone that had you huffing as you ran after him into your bedroom. 

"What I resent is this!" His intense, brown eyes follow your hands as you gesture absently between the two of you. “When did you stop fucking caring?!”

“I do care.”

“Do you?! You barely talk to me anymore, we don’t spend time together, and when you are here physically you seem gone mentally. You always have a cigarette or a fucking beer in your hand… I mean we don’t even really fight anymore. It’s always me shouting at you while you stare at me like you are now!”

“What do you want from me, Y/N?”

 “I just want you to show some kind of emotion! You used to be so animated, Eddie, and now you just…I don’t know. You’re not as passionate as you used to be.”

“I’m not in my 20s anymore, babe. I’m sorry I’m not as spry as before.”

“Like you would know. You don’t even try or anything. We aren’t old, Eddie, and now’s our time to do everything we wanted.”

“Because I ruined our youth by knocking you up?”

Your eyebrows furrow together as you blink back tears that try to push forth. 

“No, you asshole. Because you said, you wanted to spend forever with me.”

With that, you turn around and stomp out the back door. 

##############

1988

“Every rose has its thorn Just like every night has its dawn Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song Every rose has its thorn Yeah it does, Caleb.”

 Eddie softly smiles as his son’s tiny palm taps the guitar his fingers were strumming on. Your own grin paints your lips as you watch him pet his unruly curls before continuing to play. His voice was a bit more rugid than normal but you assumed that was because he had been at work all day and had yet to rest. Even now his jumpsuit hung around his waist and he had patches of dirt clinging to his skin but he missed Caleb a lot when he was away. 

Eddie as a father made you fall even more in love with him as you watched them play or do anything together. He had been working back-to-back shifts to help pay for certain things your son needed and you missed him every day. 

“Hey, baby?”

“Hey, princess?”, he cooed back making you giggle. 

“How was your day?”

“It was alright. Angry customers and stupid people so ya know…Hawkins.”, he beams your way as you come over to sit beside him and pick up the baby to sit on your lap.

“You know you don’t have to work so hard, right?”

“I know, sweetheart. I just want to make sure you both have everything you need and to get us out of this fucking trailer.”

“It’s technically a mobile home…a bit bigger.”, you smirk as he leans forward to kiss your forehead. 

“But you both deserve a house and I still haven’t gotten you a proper engagement ring.”, he sighs. 

“Eddie, I love this ring. It was a part of you and it feels like you’re holding my hand throughout the day.” 

“I don’t deserve you.”, he murmurs with a smile as he kisses your lips before Caleb swats at his cheek. “Hey, hey, dude. She was mine first. Don’t get jealous.”

***

2006

His boots bang along the wood of the back porch as Eddie steps outside to find you laying on the trampoline you had gotten Caleb for his 8th birthday. His son was so ecstatic when he opened the box, begging his father to put it together right that moment. They both spent the evening working as a team to put it together and they laughed the entire time. 

The metal clanked against his belt buckle as he awkwardly climbed up to lay beside you, your eyes closing as you listened to the lighter shut as he lit a cigarette and breathed out the smoke. You would always associate that smell with him. The smell of smoke mixed with his breath that smelled the way he used to taste, intoxicating. The scent of gasoline and his leather jacket when he came home from work. 

Eddie. 

“Do you remember when Caleb broke his arm jumping on this thing and he didn’t even cry?”

The trampoline underneath him shook slightly at your laughter. 

“Yeah, he came in holding his wrist and said ‘Mom, I think we need to go to the doctor.’ Scared the crap out of me.”

“When I showed up at the hospital, he showed me his cast like it was an award or something. He said he was going to be the coolest kid in class.”, he chuckled as you both continued to look up at the sky. “He didn’t need an injury to be cool. Kid was always badass.”

“Do you still love me?”

Taken aback by your question, his head snaps in your direction. 

“Of course, Y/N.”

“It doesn’t feel like it sometimes. For a while I thought maybe this was normal, that we would grow distant as the years passed but…” Your eyes turn to meet his. “…this doesn’t feel normal.”

“What are you trying to say to me right now?”

“Caleb’s an adult now and like you said… you knocked me up. You…you don’t have a reason to stay.”

Eddie blinked as his jaw tightened and you watched his anger flow through his facial features. Rolling off the trampoline, he tosses his cigarette and stomps back into the house, slamming the door for emphasis. 

################

1992

You gnaw on your thumb as you glance towards the kitchen wall clock. Your husband was supposed to be home at 8pm and it was now 11. You had an absolute shit day and wanted to crash early after a long bath but you needed to talk to him about something important. The longer you waited the angrier you became. 

At 11:30pm, the door slowly squeaked open as Eddie tried to quietly sneak in.

“Where have you been?”, you ask sternly eliciting a heavy sigh from him as he shuts the door loudly. “You were supposed to be home four hours ago.”

“I worked late and then Steve invited me out for a beer.”

“It smells like it was more than a beer.”, you sneer as you roll your eyes. “I needed to talk to you about something important but fuck me, right?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N. What do you want? What’s so goddamn important you can’t wait till tomorrow.” Without saying a word, you try to head towards your bedroom but he quickly reaches forward to grab your arm. “No, hey, I want to hear it because obviously it’s a big fucking deal.”

Furiously, you smack the paper in your hand into his chest. 

“Your son needs school supplies and other things for next week. I get a discount at my store but I still don’t have enough for that and our mortgage payment.”

“Ok.”, Eddie sighs as he scratches the scruff on his face and looks at the list. “Ok, this isn’t too bad. We can—”

“It’s not just this. He’s going to need money for lunches and his teacher said they are going on a field trip in October and he needs to pay for the ticket. How are we going to afford that?!”

“Y/N, calm down. It’s August. We can cross that bridge when we get there.” Again, you try to leave but he tugs you once more. “What? What is it now?!”

“Eddie, it’s like you don’t care! We need to think of these things!”

“Just because I’m not flipping out like you are doesn’t mean I don’t care!”

“You always do this! You always make me the bad guy!”

“That’s not what I said, Y/N!”

“You don’t think I want to go out and have fun with my friends to?! I wish I could have a beer with Nancy and Robin after work but I can’t because I have to do EVERYTHING around here! And that includes figuring out how our son is going to be able to eat, have the things he needs, and also be allowed to have fun with his friends by going on that field trip!”

“When did you get so fucking uptight?”, he grumbled. 

“When I married you, apparently!”

“Yeah. Well—”

“Daddy?” Caleb’s tiny, sleepy voice cut through your argument as you both turned to face him as he rubbed his little eyes. “Mommy? Why so loud?”

“I’m sorry, baby. Were we being too loud?”

“Uh huh.”

As you step towards him, your son automatically extends his arms so you can lift him and he rests his head on your shoulder. 

“Hey, kid.”, Eddie smiled his way as he lightly tickled the boy’s neck with his finger making him giggle as he keened into you more. “Come on. Let’s get you back in bed.”

The metalhead followed close behind as you head for Caleb’s room and place him under his covers. 

“Mommy? Were you guys fighting because of me?”

Tilting your head to the side, you sat by his legs as you turned to face him. 

“No, baby. Daddy and I weren’t fighting. We were…”, you pause looking at your husband for help. 

“We were…talking incredibly excitedly. LIKE THIS!”, Eddie shouts causing his son to laugh. “Sometimes adults forget to use there inside voice.”

“Like—like Jackie’s parents?”, he asks, you and your husband exchanging a knowing look. 

Jackie was the little girl in the mobile home across the street and who Caleb played with on the weekends. At night, occasionally, you three would hear her parent’s fighting and sometimes she would come over for dinner just to get away. 

“Um, yeah, buddy.”

“Except not as mean. No mean names.”

“Pfft yeah. No mean names. Mommy would kill me if I called her something mean.”, Eddie jokes as he makes a slicing motion with his finger and pretends to fall to the floor dead.

“I would.”, you widen your eyes playfully as he beams your way and you bend down to kiss his forehead. “Alright, go to sleep. I love you.”

“I love you to, mommy. Love you, daddy!”

“Love you to, freak. Ow!”, he chuckles when you lightly slap his chest before winking Caleb’s way. 

After closing his door and heading to your own bedroom, Eddie tugs you into his arms and hugs you to his chest. 

“I’m sorry I was late and made you feel that way. I do care. We’ll get him everything he needs and I’d be more than happy to watch him while you hang out with the girls. He’s a cool kid and I know Wayne has been dying to see him.”

Pushing up on your toes, you tenderly kiss his lips. 

####################

2006

“So, tonight is the night, right?”, your therapist asked during your next session.

It had been a week since your conversation with Eddie on the trampoline and he had barely been home that entire time. You knew where he was because you passed the mechanic shop to get to work and his head was always stuck under the hood of a car he was repairing.  

“Yeah, my parents are doing their annual charity thing and we’re forced to be there.”, you sigh as your whole body deflates. 

“No one is really forcing you, Y/N. You’re a grown woman who can tell her parents no.” The therapists head ticked to the side as your own hung. “Why are you still afraid to stand up to them?”

“I…I don’t know how.”, you whisper causing your husband’s eyes to scan over you before glancing towards the therapist. 

“She did it once and it didn’t end well.”, Eddie explained as he straightened his jacket and sat up a bit. “When she told her mom she was pregnant and marrying me, they told her she wasn’t allowed and how ‘unbecoming’ it was for young ladies or some shit. She told her mom to fuck off and her dad got so pissed.”

You can’t help but smile when he chuckles. 

“I didn’t actually say ‘fuck off’ but I did stand up for you. I just hated the things they were saying about how you were beneath us. Oh my God and then he came towards you like he was going to hit you.”

“You jumped in front of me. I was so pissed off when we got home because you put yourself in harms way.”, he shakes his head before his eyes lock with yours. 

“I’d do it again.”

When his toothy grin softened to a smirk, for a moment, you felt that spark again that ignited within you when you two first met. Did he feel it to?

“What happened after that? Why do you go to this event every year then?”, the therapist asks and the moment passes. 

“Huh? Oh, appearances mostly. Since we got married, I wasn’t viewed as much of a slut as some other single mothers in town. It was fucking stupid but…I wanted Caleb to have his grandparents and at least they were good at that”

“Mhmm. But Caleb is 19 and in college…so why do you keep going?”

You blinked as you took in her words as if she just told you the weirdest thing you had ever heard. You genuinely hadn’t thought about it, pretty much going on impulse at this point. 

“I go for her.”, Eddie answers as he exhales and leans back on the couch. “I wasn’t going to allow her to face that chaos by herself.”

“You’ve always been very protective over Y/N. It’s definitely something I admire about your relationship.”

Your husband shrugs as his gaze shifts to the window behind her. 

“She’s my wife and the love of my life. I’d do anything for her…even leave…if that’s what she wants.”

To your therapist that seemed random but you understood. It was Eddie’s way of telling you that he didn’t want a divorce but if you did, he’d understand. 

“I don’t want you to leave. I want you to fight.”

***

1997

“Hey Grandma!”, Caleb shouts after you take off his jacket and hand it to the man your parents hired to work for the evening. 

“Shhhhhh. Now Caleb, how do we speak when at a social function?”

“We use our inside voice and manners.”, he recited, your son smiling as your mother beams at him and leans down to kiss his cheek. 

“Good boy! Oh my goodness look at you in your little suit. You look so handsome.”

“Thank you ma’am. My dad and I went to the store together.”

“Oh? You never would have been able to guess with the ensemble he’s currently wearing.”

“Mom.”, you scold as Eddie’s fingers twitch slightly around your waist. 

“Always good to see you, Angela. Would you look at that? Steve is by the bar. Excuse me.”

“Mom, they both spent over an hour getting ready for this. Can you please be kind?”

“Hm, I can’t make any promises. Oh, Y/N, it’s Michael and his mother. Didn’t you go to school with him?”

Pointing at something in the distance, you grab your son’s hand and hastily make a getaway to where Steve, Nancy, and Eddie were gathering in a corner. 

“Hey, dude.”

“Hi, Uncle Steve and Aunt Nancy.”, he grins as he leans in to give her a hug around her waist. 

“Are your parents here to, Steve?”, you ask.

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss a chance to show off their wealth for the world.”, the man sasses as he points to where they were mingling with other guests. 

As the night wore on, you saw how it affected your husband as he continually either adjusted his uncomfortable clothes or did whatever he could to maintain a conversation with someone even though anyone that passed by usually only wanted to speak to Steve. 

“Y/N, you need to go talk to Michael before he leaves.”, your mom commands as she tries to pull on your arm. 

“Mom, no. Michael and I aren’t friends nor will we ever be or anything else you try to push on me.”

Narrowing her eyes, she succeeds in pulling you away but instead of towards the other man, she guides you into your old bedroom. 

“Y/N, I’m trying to help you here.”

“How can Michael Wescott help me? I don’t need anything from him.”

“You need a better husband and father for that child.”

Your mouth falls open as her insult pierces your heart. 

“Mom, Eddie is a good husband and a wonderful father. He works hard for us both and I love him. I’m sorry you can’t see what an amazing man he is.”

“No but I can see my only child living in a trailer with barely enough means to get by. Honey, he still hasn’t even gotten you a proper engagement ring and it’s been 10 years!”

“I’m taking them both out of here right now! You never took the time to get to know him like I did. If you had you would see why I love him with all my heart!”

As you open the door, you were met with your husband chugging back the last of the liquid in his glass before tossing it onto the floor where it shattered. 

“Eddie…”

Without saying a word, he grabbed your hand and collected his son so the three of you could leave. 

######################

2006

“What do you think?”, you ask as you step into the living room and display your blue, spaghetti strap evening dress with your hair pulled up and away from your face.

Eddie tore his eyes from the mirror where he had been straightening his tie and when they landed on you, he felt his heart skip a beat. 

“I think…wow, you look fucking amazing, princess.”

It had been so long since you heard him call you that and a heavy sigh left your lips at the sound.

“Th-Thank you, baby.”

Smiling softly, he extended his arm for you to take and guided you to your car. The entire drive to your parent’s house, you took an opportunity you hadn’t in a long time and rested your head on his shoulder. His chest heaved but he leaned his head on your own as his palm rested on your thigh. 

“I think you look handsome to by the way.”, you grin as he pulls into the driveway, flashing you a nervous smile with a little chuckle. 

“Thanks. Let’s see what sarcastic comment your parents have to say. I’m guessing something about me not trying or maybe I’ve gotten too fat to wear a suit.”

“Eddie…you’re not…don’t say it like that.”

“Like what? It’s true, I mean I’m not as scrawny as I was 20 years ago.”

“I like the way you look.”, you sigh before turning to open the car door but his hand on your bicep stops you and your eyes meet his. “We can go back home if you want. Steve and Nancy can’t make it and Caleb isn’t here so—”

“So it’s ok for me to leave you to handle your parents alone while they talk shit about me?”

“Ugh, nevermind.”, you huff as you step out and saunter towards the front door. 

“Y/N, wait. I didn’t mean it like—”

“Y/N! There’s my little girl.”, your father grins wide as he wraps his arms around you. “Where is my grandson?”

“He went back to school a couple of weeks ok, dad.”

“Aw that’s too bad.” Ignoring Eddie’s extended hand, your dad drags you further into the house to find your mother who also ignores your husband as she gives you a hug.

“Oh, baby, you look so beautiful.”

“Thank you. Eddie looks really good as well tonight don’t you think?”

“Edward, oh my. Didn’t even see you there, honey, which is shocking given how much weight you’ve gained since we last saw you.”

“MOM!”

“What!? I’m just saying—”

“No, no, sweetheart. It’s alright. I have put on a couple of pounds but in all the right places. I mean, I’m not just slouching forward because I’m lazy. You know what I mean, Norman.”, Eddie winks as he pats your dad on the arm while you try to contain your smile and for added effect he reaches down to adjust the bulge in his slacks. “Excuse me while I go mingle.”

####################

1984

“I think this is the best Halloween I’ve ever had.”, you beam as Eddie chuckles beside you, continuing to slowly turn the merry go round you two were sitting on with his foot. “I think this is the first year I haven’t dressed up like a princess.”

“Well, Sarah Conner, you’re still a princess to me.”, he grins as he hands you another piece of candy. “Are you cold? You can wear my jacket if you want to.”

“No, Kyle Reese. I think I’m alright.”

His smile widens as you lay back and he does the same, placing his bag of treats and fake rifle that rounded out his ensemble above your heads. 

“My parent’s always do that masquerade thing for Halloween and I always hated it.”

“I can imagine. Being stuck inside with stuffy adults in those Victorian costumes would drive me crazy to. Then again being stuck inside with Wayne in a trailer watching reruns of Stephen King movies isn’t exactly thrilling either.”

Eddie grins when you laugh before it tapers off and you both just lay there in each other’s presence. You had been dating this metalhead for about a month and you appreciated him taking things slow with you but as your eyes scanned him over you suddenly wanted more. 

“Thank you for taking me out tonight and showing me a good time.”

“Of course, sweetheart. I like spending time with you.”

“I was wondering…could you…show me something else?”

Eddie’s foot drags along the ground forcing the merry go round to jerk to a stop as he pushes up onto his elbow to look down at you. 

“W-What, um, what would you like me to, uh, show you?”, he stuttered nervously making you giggle a bit. 

“Could you…show me how to…kiss a boy?”

“I mean, I’ve never kissed a boy myself but…”, he laughs through his teeth and your smile grows. “Yeah, I can show you.”

Your eyes remained locked on his as his palm comes down to cup one of your cheeks and he gradually lowers himself till his lips are hovering just above your own. His breath smells like chocolate and nicotine but there’s also a hint of something else you desperately wanted to identify. As his thumb tenderly caressed your skin, his mouth finally connected to yours and as soon as they did you felt your entire body come to life. 

It was a soft kiss at first but soon grew bolder when you figured out what that additional something else was, Eddie. That was the best way to describe it and it tasted so good that your hand snuck just below his ear to hold him closer. 

Your hips twisted to be closer to him and he didn’t miss a beat as his palm slid down you back to press your lower half harder against him. 

“Eddie.”, you whimper involuntarily as his mouth released yours long enough to catch his breath before diving back in just as eagerly. “Eddie, Eddie, wait.”

At your firm command, his hand came back up to cup your cheek. 

“Are you alright? Did I…Did I go too far?”

“No, no. I just…this is all new to me. I want to go slow.”

“I…I understand. I understand.”, he panted as he wiped your spit from his lips and winced slightly as he rolled over back onto his back. 

It took you a moment but when your eyes glanced along his body, you noticed the large bulge pressing uncomfortably against his jeans. 

“I’m sorry.”, you whisper with a slight crack in your tone that has his head shooting up to look your way before following your eyeline. 

“Hey, sweetheart, no. No reason to be sorry. I’ll be ok. Trust me, I’m a guy with all the hormones. I’ve gotten boners in pretty uncomfortable scenarios believe me.”, he laughs hoping to make you laugh as well. “Don’t ever be sorry about this kind of stuff. I can go as slow as you need me to and I’ll be here, babe. I, um, I really like you…a lot.”

Taking ahold of you, he maneuvers you by his side with your head on his chest. 

“I like you a lot to.”

##############################

2006

You watch with a small smile on your face as your husband talks with some of the other guests at the party and you couldn’t help but think of your therapist’s question as you sipped your drink. 

Why did you keep coming here? 

Habit maybe? Until you met Eddie you really did do everything they wanted completely unsure of what else you should be doing. You went to all their events, smiled, and spoke to anyone they told you to, even wearing clothes they suggested because you had yet to really find your sense of self. When you met the metalhead, he showed you a completely different world that you absolutely enjoyed and loved experiencing with him. 

Even when you both got married and had Caleb, you couldn’t picture anyone else you wanted that life with other than him. Sometimes you wondered what life would be like if you hadn’t met Eddie. You pictured an unhappy girl married to an equally unhappy man who was incredibly vain and never home to see his children. 

Your husband was a wonderful father and a good man to you both. Even now with your marital problems, he still came to therapy with you and never once cheated or hurt you. 

“Y/N!”, you mother called interrupting your thoughts. “Baby, look who I found.”

You didn’t even try to hide your sigh when she pushed Michael forward to shake your hand. 

“Michael. How have you been?”

“Oh, I’ve been good. I just closed a big case and made partner at my firm.”

Your eyes widened sarcastically as you nodded while your mom got a bit too excited, clapping her hands and congratulating him. 

“That’s so amazing! Isn’t it amazing, Y/N?”

“Super. I’m, um, I’m just going to…” As you point towards the balcony, your mother grabs your wrist.

“Y/N, be polite and take him with you.”, she whispers.

“I don’t want to be polite.”, you growl as you pull your arm out of her grasp. “I’m married mom. I have been for 20 years to the man I love and have a son with. Stop pushing Michael on me which by the way is super weird that he’s still single after all this time. Didn’t that thought ever occur to you?”

“No because all I thought about was how my daughter deserves better than a man she was forced to marry because he got her pregnant.”

Rolling your eyes, you hurry outside onto the balcony by the pool and inhale the night air as you try to calm down. 

“Hey Y/N.” Sighing, you turn to face Michael who was slowly walking towards you with his hands in the air. “I just wanted to come and apologize for all that back there. I’ve never been the one to ask your mom to introduce me. She does that on her own.”

“Yeah, she does that.” Your eyes scan him over before giving him a polite smile. “Thank you for coming over to apologize. I really appreciate that.”

“It’s no problem. My own mom is a bit pushy to so I get it then again I haven’t gotten married yet so that could be the problem.”, he chuckles and you can’t help but laugh with him. 

***

2002

Eddie storms into the house after work and slams his keys loudly down on the table before heading to the fridge to pop open a bottle of beer. Slowly getting up from the couch you meet him halfway as his fury filled eyes meet yours. 

“So are you going to tell me why you’re upset or…”

“Doesn’t matter.”, he grumps as he stalks towards the sofa and hurls his body onto it. 

“Obviously it does so why don’t you quit with the foreplay and just tell me.”

When he doesn’t answer, you shrug and head for your bedroom, smirking to yourself slightly when you hear his boots bang against the floor as he follows. 

“I came to visit you at work today. Thought maybe we could have lunch or something.”

“Ok…and you didn’t because…?”

“Because when I got there you were flirting with some asshole.”

“I’m sorry what?”, you ask genuinely confused with a hint of sarcasm. 

“Oh, you don’t know who I’m talking about? Tall, black hair, young, looks like Johnny Depp in Nightmare on Elm Street.” When you giggle, his eyes darken. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to but I just can’t believe you’re actually fucking jealous of a twenty-year-old who has a girlfriend by the way. What the fuck is wrong with you? After all this time why would you think I would cheat on you now with some kid from work?”, you reply sarcastically.

“Well, Y/N, you’re not fucking me! So…”

Your eyes widen in shock and you wonder if he can see your heart break. Controlling any tears from escaping, your jaw tightens as you tilt your head.

“You’re right I’m not. Maybe I should fuck him. Wouldn’t be the first time I slept with someone who was beneath me.”

It was an automatic reaction that had Eddie moving before he could stop himself. His hands were around your biceps and suddenly you were against the wall with his nose just inches from your own. His chest rose and fell as angry breaths escaped his nose. 

As quickly as it came, it left with a blink as you saw the darkness recede and the man you fell in love with take over again. His mouth fell open as his eyes continued to run up and down your body as if he was trying to figure out what just happened.

“Mom?” 

Both your heads turned to see your teenage son leaning in the doorway with a concerned look painted on his features. 

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, baby, I’m fine. I just had the worst day and your dad was trying to make me feel better. Are you hungry, Caleb? Do you want something to eat?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Eddie fold himself as he took a few steps away from you. 

“Um, yeah, but I can make myself something—”

“Oh, don’t be silly. Just give me one moment, ok?”

Nodding, he turned to head towards the kitchen but when you swiveled around to face your husband, he had already disappeared into the bathroom and locked the door.

***

2006

Eddie loved watching you interact with people. He knew who you were before he even introduced himself having seen you skip happily around the school with your books close to your chest like Molly Ringwald in any John Hughes movie. You spoke with your hands and smiled as you nodded your head as you seemingly absorbed what people were saying to take a piece of it with you. 

You had always made him feel heard. 

The metalhead thought he didn’t have a chance with a girl like you but when your beautiful eyes landed on him after bumping into him in the library, he knew he had to try. 

Over the past twenty years, he felt like he slowly watched that light leave you and he knew it was his fault. Just like his dad did with his mother, it was unavoidable. 

Going outside to get away from the people in your parent’s house, he leaned over the rail wishing he could smoke but knew if your mom smelled it on him she would have something to say and he didn’t want to deal with all that right now. 

Suddenly, Eddie heard a sigh in the air and as he peaked around the corner, he saw you exhaling into the night sky. 

The way the wind moved your hair had him smitten all over again as he remembered cold nights of you two sitting on his bed with the window open after making love and you in one of his shirts as you leaned your head outside to feel the breeze while he smoked. 

You would smile and he would randomly reach out to touch your face wondering what the fuck you were doing with him. 

Eddie couldn’t help but huff when another man came out to talk to you. 

Michael; the asshole your mom kept pushing your way. 

You seemed annoyed at first but then you laughed. God, he adored that sound more than anything in the world. The first time Caleb laughed he silently thanked the heavens it sounded exactly like yours. 

“I said no.”, you shouted sternly with eyes filled with anger. 

Pushing at his chest, you tried to walk away but Michael grabbed your forearm to turn you around and Eddie saw red.

#########################

1986

As Eddie starts to take off his suit jacket, he notices you staring at yourself in the mirror above his dresser as you carefully untangle your hair from the veil you had clipped into it. 

An idea crosses his mind and he digs through his records before popping in a cassette and waiting for it to play. 

Meeting his eyes in your reflection, you giggle as the synth fills the room and he reaches for your palm that you eagerly take. Wrapping his arms around your waist, you do the same around his neck as you both begin to sway to the music. 

“When you love someone It feels so right, so warm and true I need to know if you feel it too Maybe I'm wrong Won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong?”

As he sings along, your smile grows and at the chorus he scrunches his face as he obnoxious belts out the lyrics.

“I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life I've been waiting for a girl like you, you're a love that will survive I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life”

“You’re such a dork, Eddie Munson.”

“Yeah, but I’m your dork, Y/N Munson.” At the use of your new name, you tilt up on your toes to kiss his lips and lean your head against his chest. “What’s wrong, princess? Thinking about your parents?”

You nod as you continue to sway to the music. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m sure this isn’t exactly how you pictured your wedding day but—”

“Shhhhh.”, you shush as you tilt back and place a finger over his mouth. “I had a great day, baby. Yeah, I wish my mom and dad could accept us but I love you so much. I can’t wait to see what our future holds.”

He sighs as he kisses you again and holds you to him once more. 

“I love you to, sweetheart. You’re safe with me and I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to give you a happy life.”

“As long as I have you, I’m happy.”

***

2006

“Excuse me?”, you ask the man beside you hoping you didn’t hear him correctly.

“Come on. You heard me. You deserve better than the life you have and you we both know people like us aren’t trailer trash.”

“Define ‘people like me’.”

Gesturing towards your parent’s house, he raises an eyebrow as if to signal it should be obvious.

“Wow, no wonder my mother chose you. You’re a fucking asshole.”

“That may be but why don’t you let me take you out to dinner and show you what you’re missing out on.”

“Um, no thanks. I’ll pass.”

As you stand, Michael suddenly blocks you with his body.

“Come on, baby.”

“I said no.”

While trying to walk away, the man grabs your forearm and turns you around, pulling you to his chest.

“I’m not a man you say no to, Y/N.”

“And I’m not a woman you grab. Now let me go.”

When he doesn’t release you, you raise your hand and hit him hard in the face causing him to let you go. You expected and braced to fall onto the concrete so when strong palms catch you, you’re surprised. 

After making sure you’re on both feet and ok, Eddie turns to shove the man hard backward. 

“Don’t ever put your hands on my wife.”

“Or what?”, the man challenges and your husband accepts as he steps forward before you grip his arm to stop him. 

Placing a protective arm around you, Eddie guides you towards the house to head towards the front door. 

“She could have had a good life, Munson! A big house, fancy jewelry, and anything she could want and more. She wouldn’t even have to ask. With my last name things would be handed to her willingly.” 

You saw his jaw tighten as Michael spoke but he continued to ignore him as he grabbed your coat and held it open for you to put your arms through.  

“What’s going on?”, your father asked as he came up from the side. 

“I’m a respected member of Hawkins whose parents helped mold this town. You were just a trailer trash, burn out whose own parents were scum.”

Right as his palm touched the door, he froze and you both listened as the other man stepped closer behind you. 

“Guys like you, Munson, are meant to be the ‘good time’ before women like her marry respectable men like me. Jesus… Your dad was a failure, you’re a failure, and if the accidental pregnancy is any indication so will Caleb. His whole fucking conception was a mistake.”

It was abrupt to everyone in the room except you when Eddie’s fist flew hitting Michael square in the jaw. You didn’t even try to stop him as he headed towards him to hit him more before your parents intervened. 

“That is enough! I will not have this behavior in front of my quests in my own house.”, your mother scolded as she pointed her boney finger at your husband.

“I put up with a lot of bullshit. For over twenty years, I’ve let you ridicule and insult me, put down me and my family, and listen to you whisper in my wife’s ear that she can do better. I have put myself through the ringer including getting on my hands and knees to beg you people to come to our wedding…”

Your eyes scanned him over as tears began to fall from your eyes and your mouth fell open. 

“…yet I’m still just fucking trailer trash that ruined her life? Fuck. You. Yeah, you heard me. We may have had a son and gotten married a bit faster than ‘normal people’ but I always loved your daughter. You think she doesn’t deserve a man like me but over 22 years I’ve learned that she never deserved you as parents. We may have our problems but thank GOD we are nothing like you.” 

“Get out NOW before I call the police! You are no longer welcome here.” Your father shouts as Eddie searches for you, thankful when your hand intertwines with his. “Y/N Y/L/N. If you leave with this man, you will not be welcome back into this house or this family. Any inheritance will be spread elsewhere.”

Chuckling under your breath, you turn to face them still holding the man you love. 

“Honestly, you can take my inheritance and shove it up your ass.” People around the room gasp at your comment as your parents take a step back. “I haven’t been a part of this family since I got pregnant and the only reason we’ve put up with you is because of Caleb.”

“Y/N—”

“No! Jesus, mom, think about it. Eddie may not come from money but at least he doesn’t call my son a mistake.”, you growl towards Michael. “He’s a good man but you can’t look past your own selfishness to see that. If you want to apologize to me and my husband you know where we are. Until then, fuck you.”

As you both turn to leave, you pause to face them one more time. 

“Oh, and it’s Y/N Munson, not Y/L/N.”

##############

1985

“I have a confession to make.”, Eddie breathily laughs as he holds the condom between his fingers. “I’ve never done this before…sex…like actual sex. I’ve done stuff but not like…fuck I’m coming off like an ass.”

You smile as you sit up with his blanket wrapped around your naked body and lean your cheek on his shoulder. 

“No, baby, you’re not. I’ve never…you’re going to be my first to.”

Swallowing, he tilts forward to kiss your forehead. 

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed.”, he whispers.

“As long as I’m with you, I won’t be. I trust you, Eddie.”

Reaching over him, you take the condom from his hand and tear it open like they showed students in health class before sliding it onto his hard, leaking cock. The metalhead hisses slightly at your touch, holding his breath as your palm rubs along his shaft through the rubber barrier. 

“How does that feel?”, you murmur as your eyes watch his face. 

“Feels…good.” When he finally opens his own eyes and sees your smile, he realizes you were asking about the condom. “Oh, I mean, yeah. That feels good to. It’s on there correctly. I’m just going to stop talking.”

Shaking your head, you take hold of his biceps and pull him on top of you, adjusting the blanket over you both. 

“Don’t you dare. I need to hear you.”

“O-Okay.”

Opening your legs wider for him, Eddie reaches between your bodies to take hold of himself and run the head of his length between your folds.

You jump slightly, licking your lips as he occasionally grazes your clit. 

“I’m—fuck—I’m gonna lean back on my knees. Is that ok? I feel like I’ll have more control so I don’t…I don’t hurt you as much.”

After getting your ok, he pushes up onto his knees and continues to run himself between your pussy lips while his free hand massages your thigh.

“You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. I’m going to push in now, ok? If you want me to stop just let me know.”

Before this moment, Eddie had asked Steve a ton of questions about what he should do and how best to not hurt you. Nothing, however, prepared him for the immense pleasure he felt when he gradually began guiding his cock inside of you.

“Oh—Oh my God.”

“Are you alright?”

“Y-Yeah, baby. Just—fuck—you feel so fucking good.”

“I do?”

When he aggressively nods his head, you both feel your pussy flutter around him making you both moan; him much louder than you. You were doing all right as he continued, the stretch of him burning but not enough to want to stop. It wasn’t until he had half his cock inside you that you sucked in a breath and his eyes shot up to see yours squeeze closed as your face scrunched in pain.

“Do you need me to stop?”

“N-No. No. Just hang on a minute.”

Nodding, he remembered something his friend told him and you listened as he licked his thumb and gently rubbed slow circles against your clit. 

“Oh f-fuck, Eddie.”

“Yeah, honey? Does that feel good? Fuck me. I’m gonna thrust a bit but I won’t go deeper till you tell me.”

You allowed him to do that till you felt the pain subside and pleasure begin to take over again. Reaching for his arms, you brought him down till he was hovering over you once more and you wrapped your legs around his waist. 

“More.”

“You want more?”, Eddie whispered against your lips before placing a tender kiss against them as he pushed deeper inside of you. “Fuck, Y/N. You are so tight around my dick. I’m almost all the way in.”

“Give it to me, baby, please.”

“Oh my god.”, he mewled as his lips attached to your neck and your arms wrapped around his shoulders. With a rough roll of his hips, you felt the head of his cock nudge something only his fingers had ever touched and your nails dug into his skin as he grunted into yours. 

“Jus—Just like that, Eddie.”

“Like that? Can I take over, baby? Is that ok?”

When you nod, his entire body falls flat against your own with his hand snaking behind your head to hold to him as your own hands slid to his lower back as if to guide his movements. His rhythm hastened and the grunts that were echoing in your ears were the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. 

He seemed to get almost lost in the experience as his hips were hitting you so hard his bed underneath you began to shake. That familiar feeling built up in your stomach but much intensely than you had ever felt before. 

“Eddie…I think I’m…about to cum.”

As your cunt clung tightly to him, you shuttered against him as the coil snapped. 

“Oh my God…Y/N…” His pace sputtered as he a bit aggressively slammed his hips against your own as a strangled moan fell from his lips and his full body weight collapsed on top of you. 

You both panted as you tried to catch your breathes, him gently kissing your cheek before carefully pushing up onto his palms. 

“Ow.”, you groaned as your hand abruptly flew to his back to stop him. “Go slow.”

Nodding, he kissed your forehead and allowed you to guide him as you pressed your palm to the lower half of his tummy while he gradually removed his now soft cock from your extremely sore entrance.

After removing and tying off the condom, he threw it in the trash and rose to his feet. 

“Do you think you can walk to the shower?”

“I…don’t think so…it really hurts.”

Eddie blinks as he almost haphazardly picks you up and quickly scurries to the bathroom. 

“Oh, Y/N. Fuck. I was too rough wasn’t I? Fuck!”

Following his eyeline, you see the light blood that was attached to your thigh and you can’t help but smile as you grab his wrist to bring him to you. 

“Eddie, baby, that’s normal. Or at least that’s what the sex ed teacher says after girls lose their virginity.”

Relief paints his face before he guides you into the shower and stands with you under the hot water. 

“Was I…to rough? I just…I tried to do everything so it didn’t hurt you but I think near the end there—”

“I love when you get all nervous and stutter.”, you giggle as you tilt up to kiss his lips. “You weren’t too rough. I have a feeling I’m going to feel you the next couple of days and…I don’t mind.” You smile when his breathing hiccups a bit at your admission. “Did you…was I…did you like being with me?”

Eddie chuckled a bit under his breath as if you had asked him the most ridiculous question he had ever heard. 

“Y/N, I loved being with you. I love you…so much, pretty girl.”

Circling your arms around him, you held him tightly as he does the same. 

“I love you to.”

#################

2006

Silently, you both entered your home and Eddie’s eyes followed you as you disappeared before reappearing with the first aid kit you kept in the bathroom. After taking off his jacket, he rolled up his sleeves and automatically held his hand out for you so you could clean the cuts on his knuckles. 

When he hissed loudly, you jumped as panic flooded your face before you realized he was playing with you and you lightly hit his chest with the back of your hand as he laughed through his teeth. 

“Dork.”

“I never stopped.”

“Being a dork? I know.”

“No, loving you.” When your gaze shifted to meet his, he continued. “You asked me that night on the trampoline if I still loved you. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

Swallowing your tears, you threw the cotton ball onto the table at your side and reached for the gauze to tape around his cuts. 

“Why didn’t you say that at the time? You just left.”

“I hated that I made you think for one minute that I didn’t. That I made you…question it.”

Biting your cheek, you wonder if you should tell him what’s on your mind but since he’s being so open, you wanted to return the favor.

“I’ve been wondering for a while. I just feel like we aren’t the same, you know? I’ve spent so much time going over our marriage wondering what happened. Wondering…what I did wrong.”

When your voice cracked, Eddie scooted closer to you and took his hand out of your grasp to lift your face.

“You did nothing wrong, Y/N. Do you hear me?”, he replied sternly as his thumb tried to catch any lingering tears that fell. “If anything, I did. There were times I saw myself becoming my father and—”

“Eddie Munson, what the fuck are you talking about? You are nothing like your dad.”

Shaking his head, he released you from his hold as his eyes searched through the void, trying to find the words to express what he was feeling properly. 

“Your parents and people in this town always said I was ruining your life especially after I got you pregnant. No, hey. Let me get this out.”, he scolded as your mouth opened to interrupt him. “Please. I told myself they were fucking stupid because no one knew and understood you like I did. I loved my life with you. The first time I heard my last name attached to your first, I felt like the luckiest guy in the world. The first time I held Caleb in my arms, all my fears of being dad just melted away.

It wasn’t until I tried to find us a house but all we could afford and get approved for was this mobile piece of shit.”, he sighs as he gestures around you two. “That was the first time I felt like I failed you but I pushed it down, you know? Then our 5-year anniversary rolled around and I still hadn’t gotten you a proper ring. 10 years and we still couldn’t get a house. When Caleb was nine and you wanted the three of us to go on vacation but that storm blew in and damaged the car so we couldn’t afford it. With every fight and every sad look on your face, I blamed myself but I pushed it away until…”

“Until what?”, you encouraged. 

“There was that night I came home and accused you of cheating. I said those things… and then I pushed you… listened to you cover for me with Caleb. I just saw my own childhood and everything my mom went through before she died… I didn’t know how to…”

“Eddie why didn’t you say anything? We could have talked about it. You…”, you sigh as you close your eyes and try to think. “We both said some things that night and…you’re nothing like him, honey. You’ve always been such an amazing father and husband. God…I felt you pulling away and I didn’t know how to get you back. Eddie, if for one moment I thought you were like him I never would have married you.”

“I just didn’t want to hurt you again. I didn’t realize by doing that and keeping my distance so to speak I was anyway. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You wrap your arms around him, hugging him close to your chest. 

“I’m sorry to.”, you whimper into his shoulder before pulling back to run your fingers through his hair. “I don’t care about the…house and the ring by the way. As long as I’m with you none of that matters.”

His chocolate eyes search your features before Eddie slightly nods and rises to his feet. You listen to him scrounge around your shared bedroom before he suddenly reappears and places himself beside you again. 

“I was going to give this to you on our actual anniversary but I think now is the right time.”, he smiles and hands you a tiny box with purple bow on top. 

Smirking his way, you remove the wrapping and time seems to stop as you open the box to see a beautiful ring inside. The red diamond stone was nestled into its nook making it look like a rose with vines circling around the silver band and skulls on either side. Your husband’s gaze continually scanned over your face trying to gage if you liked it or not. 

“I, um, it took me a while to save for this but when Caleb got that scholarship for his college I felt more comfortable putting more and more money away for this. I-I-I wanted to make sure it had the skulls since you like my ring so much and then I got the—the red stone because you were always such a welcome contrast to my dark, nerdy lifestyle growing up.”, he chuckles as he watches you slide it slowly onto your finger. “Do you like it? If-If not, I can return it and maybe we can go together—”

Your lips cut him off as they crash to his own. 

“It’s perfect, Eddie. I love it. I love you.”

#############

2005

“Oh, mom, don’t cry. I’m not going away forever.”, Caleb teases as he tries to calm you while you cling to him with your arms circled around his waist. 

“I can’t help it. I’m just so proud of you.”

Your husband laughs behind you as he steps forward and delicately pries you away from your son. 

“Come on, Y/N. Kid has a plane to catch.”

Nodding, you release him fully before tilting up to kiss his cheek. 

“Now remember if you need anything—”

“I know, mom! I know. Just call.”, he giggles making you smile. 

After taking a step back, Eddie takes a step forward and pulls his son into his embrace. It always amazed you how similar they both looked especially as Caleb got older. Even though your son kept his hair short, the brown waves had a mind of their own making styling a nightmare when he was smaller. As a teenager, he just decided to leave it be and let it run wild on his head. He seemed to have your laugh and nose but his smile and eyes were all Eddie. 

“Let us know when you land and tell us how your first day goes. I’m still curious what one does in analytical ethics.”, your husband laughs as Caleb smiles. “I love you, son. I’m so proud of you.”

“I love you to, dad.”

Saying goodbye one last time, you lean into Eddie’s side as you both watch your only child head towards security.

“Are you alright?”

“I don’t know.”, you answer honestly. “You?”

“I don’t know either. I know I’m going to miss him but I think we did a good job raising him into an adult.”

Turning fully into his chest, he held you tightly to him and gently pet your head as he listened to you cry. 

***

Your back hits the hallway wall hard as both your lips refuse to detach from the other. There was a needy, feverish energy between you and Eddie that had spent years building and was now exploding in a flurry of heated touches. 

Your hand slid down his chest to the prominent bulge in his slacks and you both groaned as he rolled his hips against your palm. 

“Fuck, Eddie, please. Let me…let me taste you. It’s been so long.”

His lips don’t leave yours but you hear the clanking of his belt as he unbuckles it and pushes down his pants. Leaving tender little kisses on his skin along your path down to your knees, your husband exhales heavily when your fingers wrap around him and your tongue licks the little droplets of precum that lingered on the tip. 

“Shit, sweetheart. I’ve missed your mouth.”

Pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail, you feel his eyes on you as he mewls and watches you take him all the way to the back of your throat. You bob your head up and down, relishing the sounds of him falling apart as he gradually thrusts his hips against your movements. 

Your eyes lock as you glance up, knowing what you’re about to do will drive him crazy. Clinging to his thighs, you descend lower onto his cock, and freeze allowing your throat to constrict around him as you slightly gag. 

“FUCK, baby! That’s…That’s it.” When you pull back, you stroke your spit with your hand along his shaft before doing it again and feeling giddy when you see his eyes squeeze shut. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Come…come here, pretty girl.”

Pulling you up by your bicep, you still continue to stroke him while he licks two of his fingers and reaches down to rub your clit as his forehead falls on yours. 

“Jesus, you’re so fucking wet. Listen to how—mmph—how fucking wet she is.”, he whispers as he guides two of his fingers into your entrance. “You’re so fucking beautiful like this, Y/N. Your—fuck—your little pussy just tightened around my fingers. Do you like hearing me talk to you while my fingers are inside you?”

“Y-Yes. Fuck, yes Eddie. I missed it so much.”

Pressing his body against yours, his arm locked at the elbow as his rhythm hastened. 

“Cum for me, princess. I want you to drench my hand so I can smell you. I love the way you smell, taste, and feel. I—oh my God—I love that you’re mine.”

Your arms circle around his shoulders as you cling to him tightly. 

“S-Say it again.”

His sexy chuckle has your eyes rolling as he tilts down to kiss the shell of your ear. 

“You’re mine, Y/N. You’ve always been mine. You’re my everything, sweetheart.”

Your body trembles as the coil snaps and you grind your hips against his digits to elongate your high. 

“More.”

Eddie didn’t waste a second as he lifted you into his arms and carried you to your bedroom causing you to giggle when he light-heartedly tossed you onto the bed. After pulling off your dress and removing the rest of his own attire, he kissed up your back as you laid on your tummy waiting for him. 

“I’m not too heavy right?”, he asks as he lays some of his weight against you. 

Pressing your back up against his chest, you twist your head to reach his lips. 

“No, baby. You feel good.” Smiling, he reaches between your bodies and guides his cock into your cunt. “F-Fuck, Eddie.”

“I know, sweetie, I know.”, he murmurs as his hand intertwines with yours by your head. “Still so fucking tight.”, he babbles as he does little thrusts to help you get reaccustomed to his size. 

You never needed much time; you loved the stretch and the slight delicious burn that followed before pleasure fully took over. 

“Please, baby. I need you.”

“You need me, Y/N?”

“Always.”

Trying to keep as much of his weight on his elbows, Eddie began pumping his hips and you both moaned at the feeling of each other again. Throughout the last few years of your marriage, there had been quickies with no real thought behind it, just the need for a release. The last year and a half you two hadn’t done anything at all and it killed you. 

Feeling him this close to you as he moaned and whispered in your ear was everything to you and more. 

“Hey. Hey, hey, hey.”, Eddie cooed as he brushed some of your hair away from your face. “What’s wrong, honey? Why are you crying?”

“I just…I missed you so much. I know…you’ve been here but…you haven’t really been…here.”

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry. That’s never going to happen again because you know how… I was always waiting for a girl like you…” Your husband grins widely at the sound of your laugh as he lightly continues to sing. “…to come into my life. I love you, Y/N.”

After kissing the back of his hand, Eddie starts thrusting into you again, leaving little pecks below your ear as you moan his name encouragingly. Laying his full weight against your back, he rolls his hips pushing his length so deep inside you, your eyes practically roll out of your skull. 

“Fuck, Ed-Eddie. Just like that. So—so deep.”

Tattooed arms wrap around you and your husband brings you with him as he falls onto his side, his palm digging into your thigh as he lifts your leg in the air. 

“Cum for me, pretty girl. Cum on my dick.” Licking your fingers, you bring them down to rub your clit in fast circles, matching his pace as he pounds into you. “Atta girl. You got it, sweetheart.”

When he felt your body begin to shake, he dropped your leg, hugging you flat against his chest and stomach as he slammed his cock roughly into that sensitive spot inside till you both felt the coil snap once more.

“Ah my God. Good girl. Good girl, baby. I’m gonna cum to.”

“Mmph—please, baby. Cum inside me. Please, Eddie.”

A strangled string of grunts left his lips as he rutted against you till his limbs squeezed you tightly and you felt him warm your insides. 

###################

1984

“Oof, Jesus fucking shit!”, Eddie shouted as something hard bumped into his back. 

“Edward Munson!”, the librarian whisper screeched his way as he held up his palm to silently apologize. 

When he turned around to see what asshole hit him, his intense eyes landed on your worried ones. 

“I am so sorry. I was trying to get that book up there but I tripped. I’m so sorry.”

Time seemed to freeze as the metalhead visually took you in. He had seen you around before talking with other members of the student body. You were in a school ran club like Student Council so you seemed to easily flow through each clique even going to the ones your ‘friends’ never seemed to want to talk to. 

He remembered Gareth talking about you in passing saying that you were incredibly sweet for a ‘preppy, rich girl’. Looking at you now, he couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to you than what was on the surface. 

“Um, again. I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

“Huh? Oh, no, excuse me. I’m being an asshole. I’m fine. No, physical damage.”

“But there’s emotional damage?”, you tease eliciting a soft smile from him. 

“Of course. It’s not every day a beautiful girl pushes me. I’m going to be expecting that all the time and my hearts going to get broken when it doesn’t.”

“Hm, well, there are plenty of beautiful girls at this school so I promise it will happen again.”

“None of them are as beautiful as you.”

You blinked, taken aback by his confidence as you blushed and smirked his way. Eddie would later tell you he had no idea where that confidence came from but it was always the truth. 

The older boy smiled as he reached above you effortlessly to grab the book you had been trying to get before holding it out for you to take. 

“I’m Eddie. Eddie Munson.”

After taking the book, you reach into your bag and grab a pen before taking a hold of his arm. When your fingers touched his skin, an electricity ignited through him that he had never felt before and he had to control the urge to hug you to his chest.

“That’s my phone number, Eddie Munson. You should call me some time. I’ll be home after school today… around 4.”

“O-Okay. I’ll, um, I mean I should be free around that time.”

Eddie flushed with embarrassment as he tried to come off as nonchalant as you giggle lightheartedly at him stuttering over his words. He learned in that moment he adored the sound of your laugh. 

“I can’t wait. I’m Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

***

You stirred at the sound of your phone ringing, reaching over to grab the cordless from the receiver. 

“Hello?”

“Shit. Hey, mom. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No, baby. It’s alright. Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to check in since I know last night was grandma and grandpa’s charity thing. Everything go alright or were they rude as usual?”

“Rude as usual.”, you sigh as you roll onto your back and grin at Eddie’s completely knocked out frame. “Your father punched somebody.”

“Oh, go dad.”, he laughed. “I’m sure that person deserved it knowing him. I’m really sorry. Grandma and Grandpa are old fashioned, you know? Maybe one day they’ll catch up with the times.”

“Yeah but if not that’s ok. I have you both.”

“Yeah…I love you, mom. I loved my childhood and I’m proud to be your son; you and dad. Fuck, Hawkins.”

“Caleb…you’re going to make me cry.”, you start to hiccup before he giggles again. “Did you want to talk to Eddie?”

“Naw, let him sleep and I’ll talk to him later. I’d text him but he hasn’t quite figured that part of technology out yet.”

“Oh yeah no. When it comes to technology, he turns into Wayne. ‘Why are the buttons so small? Why do I have to push it four times to get to one letter!’”, you mimic as you and your son laugh. 

“You two are rude.”, Eddie responds groggily as he rubs his eyes with his hands. 

“Uh oh, Caleb. We got caught.”, you tease. “Alright, baby. Have fun and we’ll talk to you later. I love you.”

“Love ya, kid.”, your husband mumbles as you try to tilt the phone closer to him. 

“Love you guys to.”

After hanging up the phone, you roll onto your side and curl up into his chest as his fingers start to play with your hair. 

“What did the butthead want?”

“He was calling to check in about the charity thing last night. I told him you fought for my honor.”

“Hm, yeah I did.”, he smiles. “And so did you. ‘It’s Y/N Munson.’”, Eddie mimes in a high-pitched voice with his grin growing as you laugh. 

As he settles, your eyes trace over his tattoos on his chest and the man softly sighs when your fingers trace over yours and your son’s name.

“I love you, Edward Munson. I know we’ve had our bumps but I don’t resent my life with you. Every day with you and Caleb has been an adventure. I’m excited to see where we go from here.”

His eyes that had previously been closed fluttered open when you finished speaking and he carefully rolled onto his side to face you. 

“I love you to, Y/N Y/L/N. I meant what I said last night. I promise to be more open with my feelings and talk to you. I don’t want us to go back to how things have been. We have the rest of our lives to be together and we’re going to make the most of it.”

You smile as you press your body to his chest and nuzzle your nose into his neck. 

“From the moment I wake up 'til deep in the night. There's nowhere on earth that I'd rather be than holding you tenderly.”

Eddie chuckles in his throat as you sing, tilting your head back so he can kiss your lips again before whispering, “I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life. I've been waiting for a girl like you, you're a love that will survive.”

####################

@myherometalhead @dashingdeb16 @micheledawn1975 @hardladyheart

[marvelmaniac2000]

My Spaghetti and Meatballs

Summary: imagine giving Eddie simple human decency and he definitely gets stalkerish and insane. 

Characters: Edward Nashton x fem! Reader 

Minors DNI / +18 Only 

Subject: Smut! Stalking, voyeurism, anxiety reader, aesthetically pleasing content, extreme attachment/abandonment issues, orphanage, unprotected sex (practice safe sex everyone) 

Words: 2.0k

Side notes: I’ve been bored lately and needed to dribble some stories down. I’ve been sickly obsessed with pauly poo.  This was inspired by the spaceman intereview he did with adam sandler and fantasmas tv show.

 You hummed a tune to yourself to keep calm.. You were very hungry and you planned on making spaghetti and meatballs for yourself. But also of course to help save money by having leftovers. Some of your anxiety started to kick in because it was a little dark outside in the city and you were alone commuting to the grocery store. Even though Gotham had its reputation it wasn’t much you could do but always look out for yourself. You had on beat up converse shoes and warm auburn fall peacoat on in a cool first week of October. You were about average looking (in your own opinion) and didn’t draw much response from other strangers.

"Ok" you mouth to yourself, while looking at your grocery list in your notes. I need noodles, ground beef, etc . You mumbled to yourself and looked down the aisle for each ingredient. 

 “H-hey excuse me” you snapped your head up and looked at the man in front of you. 

 “Hi” you gave a dry response before realizing who it was.

“O-oh my goodness, Eddie!..” you swiveled your items out of your basket in your hand before bringing him in a hug. Edward gasped a little, finally seeing you in front of him. It has almost been years but it only felt like yesterday since he saw you in the very flesh directly talking to him. He has been following you and keeping touch with you since the day you guys both turned eighteen, but technically you both have been on your own since sixteen from the orphanage. It was one of the worst days of his life, when you finally were taken into an adoptive family at the late age of sixteen years old. 

   It felt like a jab to his stomach losing the family member he created within himself. The foster parents didn’t mean anything to him, the real mother he had was you. You were his sister, mother and girlfriend he needed. You were everything he needed of course.Edward knew he wasn’t going to be adopted, but he didn’t care. He stared at you barely able to make out any last words. Just your presence and knowing you were ok was what all he needed to know. As long as you were protected and were there for him, he could continue on. He knew you like the back of his hand. Some days he could go without checking on you, but he had to make sure you were still ok. Sometimes he would send money and support to your live stream, and fantasize of the costume you put on display for that video. It was his ritual. 

 “You look good Eds, you’re still just as adorable and sweet growing up” you couldn’t help but squeeze  his pink cheeks together and peck him on the cheek. Words couldn’t describe what he meant to you. You and Eddie were the only ones who tried to survive the foster home life and survive shitty school years too. You both slept together in the same bunk rooms, you slept in his bed when he was scared and rubbed him to sleep, you made sure his favorite cereal was there, even if the other kids sometimes would get greedy and not share. You cleaned his glasses for him, bought him clothes with little money you did have from your high school job. He was your baby. He gave you meaning when nothing else felt like so. Eddie's face turned a flush red. A rush of happiness and warmth swept over his body that he never felt in awhile. But it has been awhile since anyone showed him any type of affection and especially coming from you. Any type of praise from you sent him over the edge and he wanted more. 

  “I missed you too, I wanted to make sure you were still doing ok, I see you’re working now and have your own life” Eddie wanted to know if you had a boyfriend. He couldn’t afford to have you keep any secrets away from him.  “Yea I’ve been more happy than I've ever been, my own money, own life, no worries, it’s great.” You notice how upset your Eddie looked. “Why don’t you come over to my apartment, I’m making your favorite” you smiled. If Eddie could cry of happiness he could. He wanted to ball up in bed with you and cuddle as long as he could. “That would be great” he pushed the rim of his glasses up and followed you out to purchase the groceries. 

  You both arrived at your apartment that was dimly lit with your tv still on. “Oh uh sorry for the mess I don’t usually like to clean up until I get the energy to sometimes.” You wanted to make Eddie feel at home like he always felt. “Um just sit over there Eds you can watch tv if you like, there’s a blanket over there” 

 “It’s ok I’ll just watch tv from here, you always go above and beyond for me” Eddie was just happy to finally have you here and inside your apartment. He looked around taking in the different furniture, decor and things you had inside your place. He notices your desktop and computer in the corner of the room with a gaming chair just like in your videos you use.

  You took off your jacket and lit a bunch of candles that you had decorated on your kitchen counters. 

You wondered what Eddie was doing around lately. He didn’t seem like the type to hang around town alone. But maybe he has changed now that he is older. You let the noodles boil and create your special tomato sauce in a separate pan. 

  “Sooo eddie what have you been eating now huh? Frozen dinners?” you joked while looking at him mindlessly watching tv. He looked so cute with his big puppy dog eyes.

   “Very funny but I make do with whatever I can make myself” he smiled. “But I always miss your food ” He watched the tv hoping this moment would never end. Your cheek flushed a bit red hearing him talk. Eddie was somewhat of an old soul, he reminded of guys who deserve everything in the world, but was just sort of awkward. But it was nice finally having him around, it did feel a bit lonely not having anyone around, but you wouldn’t change it for the world, finally having your peace and independence living your life. The tomato sauce smelled amazing in the entire room. You pour the paste inside the noodles and mix it well together. You brought a plate to Eddie with a fork. Eddie smiled and felt like he was home once again. You sat next to him curled up on the side watching whatever show was on. 

   “So what do you do now for work?” You nervously peeled your fingernails. Eddie chewed with a mouth full of food before he talked. 

“Nothing much, just a financial analyst at a company, but I guess it’s ok” he hummed while he ate. “Oh that’s good to hear” you watch him with adoration while he stuffed his face. 

  “Do you mind if I stay here for the night? I think it’s supposed to be a really bad storm tonight.” Edward looked at you with his eyes. “Of course it’s not a problem at all,” you smiled. “Here I’ll get you some towels and stuff for a shower.” Edward watches you leave, seeing you disappear in your bedroom. He wondered what your bedroom looked like. If it was normal and basic or with different colors with many pillows. 

  “Um the towels and stuff are in this closet if you need them, you gesture the closet against the wall” you showed him. “Ok” he nodded. 

“I’ll just jump in the shower real quick” you told him before making your way out. Eddie gave you a reassuring nod before looking out the autumn window noticing the seasons beginning to change. He hated the fact that he lied to you, but it was the only way he could stay any much longer here with you. He watched you make your way into the bathroom to cleanse yourself up. Eddie pants began to harden listening to the echo of the water running down your body and your nude body lathered up with soap. 

His aching bulged pressed against him. He tossed the blanket over his legs to casually cover his member. 

  To make matters even worse you came out of the steaming hot shower with a sexy baby doll gown and fluff slippers. “It’s all yours Eddie” you sat next to him on the sofa in a sigh of relief. “Thanks” he managed before striding in the bathroom. You cover yourself up with a cozy blanket and turn the channels to see what else is on cable. 

   Eddie noticed used pads and looked inside your dirty laundry basket. You had a pretty lace black thong that had trimmed lace around it. He balled up the fabric and stuffed two more pairs inside his pocket before jumping into your shower. Eddie missed everything about you and your warmth. The way you took care of everything around him. Then finally he slowly came back out with only his clothes but with a tank top and his boxer briefs. 

  “Come cuddle with me Eddie” you laying gently on top of him.  “You know I’m glad you’re doing ok eddie” you held him close feeling him.

   “Me too” he mumbled in heaven. You felt his bulge between your legs and tried to make sure you weren’t imagining it. Eddie couldn’t manage to get it down even after taking a shower. He wanted you so badly right at that moment. “Do you need help with this?” you whispered while moving your hand to his boxers. “Umm yes” he groaned. “I can help” you push your hand down in his boxers and rub the precum that glossed over his dick. 

“Just like that?” you managed to say.

   “Y-yes” he groaned again. You pull yourself up to kiss him on the lips before rubbing his member a little harder. Eddie bucked his hips to your hand as you continued your pace. 

You moaned from feeling him get pleasure from it. 

  “Can I put it in me Eddie?” you asked him before stopping. 

   “Of course I want you now,” he demanded. You slide your panties off and stick it in slowly before riding him at a slow deliberate pace. Eddie held onto your hips as guiding for you to go quicker.

    “Oh Eddie” you moaned, lowering yourself to kiss him passionately. His hands roamed under your gown and greedily gave your plump boobs a squeeze. You whimper feeling him take control. Eddie could barely catch his breath before his mouth met your soft nipples. You gave out a loud moan rocking your hips harder with him grazing your wet insides. 

   “Mmmm” you threw your head back and felt him touch your g spot. 

  “Right there baby” Eddie put on his glasses and now watched you with his emerald eyes. “I’m going to come” Eddie murmured  before cumming his load inside of you. You stop your pace before catching your breath. 

 There was a rumble of thunder outside before you both realized what was happening. “I’m glad you’re here to keep me safe huh?” you giggled. “I guess so, we always had each other's backs, remember?” 

“I do” you cooed. Eddie pulled himself out of you before covering the blanket with both of you falling asleep.   

My Card 💚

[schmidtkisser]

hi there!! i just want to say that i absolutely loved your first fic, it was beautiful! regarding prompt suggestions, could you perhaps do something like the reader helping mike get a restful night's sleep following the events of the movie? no pressure ofc!!

Nightly Lullaby

pairing: mike schmidt x gn!reader

word count: 1.8k

synopsis: mike has trouble sleeping due to the anxiety of dreaming the same memory he has trained his brain for over the past few years. after tucking abby into bed, you help mike finally sleep comfortably for once.

content: established relationship between you and mike, 2nd person pov, comfort, fluff, domestic fluff, love language: physical touch, insomniac mike, fnaf movie spoilers (story takes place after the events of the movie), you babysit abby, you sing them to sleep

a/n: thank u anon for the rq! this was so fun to write and was such a cute prompt to work with <3 hope i did it justice

★彡★彡★彡

It had been about a week or two since Mike resigned from being a security guard at a run-down, haunted pizzeria.

You heard all about it from Mike himself. The history of the place, the owner, animatronics possessed by the ghosts of dead children, his past with Garrett — everything. It was hard to believe at first, but the sincerity in his tone, as well as the fact that Mike wasn’t the kind of person to lie to you, led you to believe everything he claimed was true.

You could barely imagine everything he had to go through. Losing his little brother, his parents, having a difficult time finding a job, all while in the process of almost losing custody of his sister. Though he seemed to be struggling less now that it was all over, you couldn’t help but notice his struggle with sleep ever since then.

Mike always relied on a nightly routine to help him sleep up until a week ago. He told you about the dream theory, and how he’d stare at a Nebraska poster while listening to nature noises on a walkman.

The part that concerned you the most was his reliance on sleeping pills. You couldn’t even begin to describe the relief you felt when he admitted that he was ready to stop using them every night. But now, as a result of the sudden routine change and the lack of pills, he had a hard time falling asleep.

—

He leans against his sister’s doorframe, his arms folded as he watches you with half-lidded eyes. You always tuck Abby into bed after a long day, pulling the comforter over her shoulders before you give her a small forehead kiss. A little conversation exchange would occur, before she would ask a small request from you.

“Can you hum me a song again?” Abby asks, her brown eyes sparkling with anticipation. The simple routine following up to the nightly lullaby works like a charm. She’ll be asleep in no time. “They help me sleep. And you always do it better than Mike.”

You can’t help but scoff a small laugh at the stab at Mike, glancing over at him to see his reaction. He playfully rolls his eyes at you two, before continuing to observe you both.

You look back at Abby, who is hiding her obvious smile beneath the duvet covers. Your eyes soften at her, your hand reaching down to pet her head, before you begin to hum a simple, yet effective lullaby as she requested. She listens intently, her eyes beginning to flutter shut within the first minute or so of your hum.

Though, she wasn’t the only one listening to the sweet song. Mike’s ears tune into your delicate crooning, yawning quietly as he leans himself forward. He adores the soft rumble from your throat, how it strung itself together into a beautifully crafted lullaby. He thinks you sound angelic despite not singing a single word. He can feel his heart pick up a beat as he listens. He feels his eyes grow heavier, his head beginning to nod off as he feels himself begin to drift.

But the lullaby ends almost as quickly as it began. You pull away from Abby, her soft snores slipping out in purrs; she’s out like a light. Your lips curl into a little smile when you observe her, slowly lifting yourself off of her bed as your attention shifts to Mike, who is in the most exhausted state you’ve ever seen him in. The poor man looks like he’s about to fall over any second.

You make your way over to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. The sudden contact wakes him up, his eyes widening slightly in surprise as he looks at you. His cheeks flush with warmth from how close you are, not to mention the comforting feeling of your arm wrapped around him. It made him want to melt, thinking you feel much warmer compared to any blanket he’s ever used.

“Come on, Mike,” you whisper, guiding him forward. You quietly close Abby’s door as the two of you leave the room. “Let’s get you to bed.”

He nods, trying his best not to drag his feet across the floor as you walk him to his bedroom. He feels heavy as he leans against you, his exhaustion making itself present with every passing second.

Making your way inside the room, you close the door behind you with the heel of your foot. You walk him to his bed while you keep him close to you. The cold air nips at your skin, and you can feel Mike shiver against you too. You reach over to click his lamp on, the warm light illuminating the room. He murmurs your name softly as you both take a seat on his mattress with a creak.

“There, there,” you rub a hand up his back. Your eyes gaze down at him, noticing even the slightest few details about him. His furrowed brows, the little frown pursed on his lips, and most notably; the dark eye bags dusted beneath his eyes. The sight saddens you. He really hasn’t slept a wink in the past week.

He casts his eyes up at you, his arms wrapping themselves around your waist as he pulls you closer. To him, it feels like having a teddy bear in his arms — something he hadn’t really felt since the loss of his childhood. The thought gets him emotional, and he attempts to hide the sudden flood of emotions welling in his face by nuzzling himself against your neck. His fingers slowly clutch onto the fabric of your shirt.

“I don’t want to dream anymore,” he utters. “Things are fine now but, what if I dream about that again, you know? I mean, I trained my brain to think of the same memory every night.” There was a slight crack in his voice, his clutch growing tighter. “Y/N, I know it sounds stupid, but I just…”

“…It’s not stupid. None of it is.” You hush him gently. Your hand trails over to his shoulder, the other reeling him in for a warm hug. You can feel his tense body begin to calm as he takes control of his breathing. The comfort of your embrace never fails to ease him. “I can’t imagine being in your position, but sudden change is difficult. I just want you to know that I’m always here for you, Mike.”

Your tone stumbled slightly as you spoke. It came out cornier than you wanted it to, and you felt your face heat up a little in embarrassment. His silence following your words scares you into a small pit of self-doubt. Did you say the wrong thing? Was it even helpful? You nervously nibble at your lower lip, waiting for any kind of response.

Then, you feel a small, amused huff against the skin of your neck, followed by a little nod from him. The fingers clutching your shirt loosened slightly, but he still kept a grasp on you. “Thank you, Y/N.”

You let out a sigh of relief, cradling Mike in your arms. Your lips curl up into a smile, pulling away from the hug just slightly to look at him again. His brows weren’t furrowed anymore, and you can even see a hint of a smile on his face.

You cup his cheek with the palm of your hand, exchanging a sudden, yet loving kiss between you two. The kiss catches him off guard, but he eases into it quickly. You savour the tender feeling of his lips, the warmth of his cheek against your palm, how he kissed back with the same amount of love in his gesture.

Oh, how he makes you melt.

You pull away at the same time, taking a breath as you look longingly into each others’ eyes. Your thumb brushes gently against the corner of his lip, your palm feeling every inch of his stubble. He leans into your touch, and you can’t help but think that he resembles a puppy with the way he looks at you. He closes his eyes, nuzzling against your palm with a yawn. Your eyes soften, beginning to realise how tired you’ve gotten also.

“Bed time?” You whisper. He nods silently in response.

You draw back from the intimate cuddles to tuck him into bed. He feels your absence, and you feel it too, despite the fact that you were just a foot away from him.

He brings himself down onto his bed, resting his head against the feather-filled pillow. You carefully pull the comforter over his body, providing him with warmth against the cold air circulating in the room. He was just about ready to pass out, but his fingers clasp at the rim of your shirt.

“Can you sleep here, with me?” He croaks, turning his eyes away from you. “Please.”

Initially, you were planning to drive home after he went to bed, but you couldn’t help but soften at his request. You were growing too tired to drive safely anyway. You click his lamp off, the room getting swallowed in darkness, with the moonlight peaking through the slits of the blinds. “I can.”

You crawl into the empty spot on the bed next to him, sinking yourself beneath the covers. His bed was far more comfortable than you could imagine, and the faint scent of him has you sinking in deeper.

He rolls over to lie on his side, facing you as his arms snake around your waist again. You do the same, enveloping him in your embrace. He rests his face against your chest with a lazy hum. As he listens intently to the beat of your heart, he thinks of a small, though embarrassing request.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Mmm?”

“Don’t laugh.”

“I won’t.”

He pulls you in closer, your bodies intertwining. “Can you hum me a song?” He murmurs. “Like you do with Abby.”

The question catches you off guard. You should’ve expected it, yet it still surprised you — but not in a bad way. Deep down, you knew he felt a bit embarrassed for asking you to sing him to sleep. He is a grown man, after all, not a child like Abby.

Yet, you carry no judgement, cradling him in your arms as you accept his request. It was better than listening to a nature tape on loop, or the dead silence of the house, after all.

You begin to hum for him, your lips pressed together as you craft a tune for him to nod off to. He pays close attention to every note, to the rise and fall of your chest when you croon, to how your voice would bounce off the walls back to you two. With every passing second, he can feel his eyes grow heavier. In the comfort of your arms and the sweet sound of your song, he finally lulls off to a deep, peaceful sleep.

You can feel his body relax against yours, and his soft breaths hit against the skin of your chest as he falls into a slumber. You slowly wrap up the song, keeping him in your hold as you nuzzle the top of his head. You smile to yourself, your heart full of tenderness and warmth, whispering for one last time tonight.

“Goodnight, Mike.”

[iamjacksragingboner]

Gross Childhood Best Friend Soap

Word Count: 1.6K

Alternate Endings Here

Warnings: The tiniest smidgen of angst but it ends nice so you better not complain, not super proofread

A/N: Yeah I dunno, came up with this last night and just crammed it out today in a sort of word diarrhea in which I blacked out and woke up naked and alone in the middle of the bush with this on my laptop screen. Make of that what you will

Contrary to his callsign, Soap is, and always has been, a gross little goober of a man

He’s been gross since you were kids, going digging for worms, collecting hermit crabs to take home from the beach in his pockets, rolling around in the dirt and coming home tracking mud on the carpet. Of course, it wasn’t all bad. He’d always offer to kiss your scrapes and bruises better, even if they were bloody or muddy. He’d always find pretty seashells to give you amidst his hunt for the largest hermit crab. He was gross within reason.

You had many a fond memory of going off to the creek at the back of your neighbouring houses with him. You'd climb up to what felt like perilous heights in your child minds, to sit on the highest point of the creek. From there, you would watch as Johnny dug for the perfect stones for you both to skim, watch him build dams and change the currents of the water. Watch as he would lunge at bugs, fish, tadpoles, lizards, and present them up to you from below, the squirming creatures clutched in his mud covered hands.

At the end of the day, just before your parents would call you back home for dinner, Johnny would climb up on the rock with you, just to sit and hold your hand. If he was feeling particularly bold, he would plant a kiss on your hand, and tell you he was going to marry you one day. You called him gross for that too, but latched onto the idea all the same.

Your early teen years, where puberty had begun for the both of you, was plagued with a myriad of varying smells and odours. Forget sweating like a pig, Johnny sweat like a boar; walking home from school with him after P.E. was a nightmare for your nasal cavities. You didn't mind though, he made good enough conversation that you ended up getting used to the stink.

For the amount of afternoons you spent in his room, you'd think you would eventually get used to the sight of his dirty clothes and mugs littering his floor and desk. You never did, always scolding him for not keeping his room clean knowing he had a lady coming over. He would always laugh, even as you threw his pillow at him, copping it square in the face.

So many nights were spent laying side by side in his bed, talking late into the night, curious hands too scared to do more than brush pinkies with the other laying inches away. You always felt as though you could feel him staring at you in the quieter moments of those nights, but you never caught him.

You spent your later teen years feeling bitterly towards him. You went from thinking you'd be best friends forever, to being an afterthought for Johnny. You did try, of course, to keep close to him.

In his late teen years, Johnny was gross in the sense that he’d go off to parties just to see how many people he could make out with. Would have sex with anyone who offered, just for the hell of it. Accompanying him to parties was a nightmare.

"You promise you won't abandon me this time?" You found yourself asking this more than once, each time slightly less optimistic than the last, but never losing your faith in him.

"Of course not, lass," he would always say. "Yer ma' girl! I'll stick right by yer side this time, lass. I promise."

What shallow promises they were. You were always demoted to the third wheel, the one who held the drinks while he went off to flirt with someone new he hadn't fucked yet. You found yourself leaving early and alone most nights, walking home and hugging your sides to keep yourself from falling apart, kicking stones imagining they were Johnny's face. Cursing yourself for thinking this time would be different, and that maybe he'd look at you for once. Going to bed cold and bitter, knowing just next door, Johnny would be waking up with someone else next to him in his bed. You just hoped he remembered to keep his room clean for them.

You both graduated, with Johnny leaving to join the military and you leaving to go to university. You kept in scarce contact over the years, occasionally calling to catch up, Johnny telling you where he was stationed, you telling him what you were working on at uni, apologising for missing birthdays, missing holidays, promises to call again soon, promising to catch up when he's home, all shallow. At least, that's what it felt like to you.

Until one night, when you were out at a bar with you friends, celebrating your recent graduation. You were all discussing with great vigour what you would all get up to with your newfound freedom from studies, when you felt the familiar feeling of eyes boring holes into the back of your skull. A little unsettled, you took a look around the bar, trying to see who could possibly be staring at you so intensely, but you couldn't quite catch their eye. You sipped at your drink, a frown furrowing your brows for a moment, before you brushed the feeling off altogether.

An hour passed and you'd forgotten the feeling in the haze of the alcohol. You were ordering yourself another drink, and as you reached into your wallet to grab out your card, another hand swooped in front of you to pay for your drink. You looked up, startled, before you met his gaze. Johnny. Staring down at you with a smile that could melt glaciers.

"Johnny, you didn't tell me you were in town," you murmured, eyes greedily taking in as much of him as you could in this moment of reunion. Scars on his chin covering the one he got from splitting his chin riding a bike for the first time. Stubble covering his jaw. The corniest mohawk that he had always talked about getting, sitting on top of his head. Your face flushed beet red when your eyes dragged over his built form; apparently that childhood crush you'd had on him all those years ago hadn't quite faded as much as you'd thought it had.

"You didn't tell me you'd graduated university, lass," he replied, the sound of his voice—finally in person again and not over the phone—sending shivers down your spine. "Had to find out myself from yer mum."

You hid your guilt behind the drink you tipped back into your mouth, averting your gaze as he watched you with dark eyes. "Thanks for the drink," you breathed, and he laughed.

"Don't even mention it, 's the least I can do. Why don't we go sit down somewhere 'n catch up, aye? Come on, lass."

You found yourself being guided over to a booth, Johnny's hand on the small of your back, sending ripples of warmth through you and into places the alcohol couldn't quite reach. You sat down first, with Johnny shuffling in close beside you, your shoulders brushing, electricity coursing through your veins.

As you sat and spoke, catching up on what you've missed in each other's lives, you found yourself noticing something. Johnny was using all the moves he used to use on people he fancied in high school, the ones he used to get them all flustered, to get in their pants.

You had to admit, you could see why so many people slept with him; he was charismatic as all hell, that boyish charm spawning those all too familiar butterflies in your gut, and he was quite literally always in contact with you. Whether it be the arm resting behind you on the seat of the booth, his knee gently nudging yours beneath the table, or a hand tucking a hair behind your ear, it seemed Johnny had turned the charm up to the max.

It was nice to be on the receiving end of it for once, but there was a certain bitterness that still lingered behind like a foul taste in the back of your throat. Was this just meaningless flirting to him, were you just another girl on his list to fuck and be done with? With all the alcohol in your system, you were well and truly past the point of caring, but you knew that if you woke up tomorrow morning in an empty bed you'd not only be cursing him, but yourself as well.

You let him lean in closer, tracing a finger down your cheek, and you let yourself be giddy, blushing like a schoolgirl when he winked at you. You let yourself swoon when he kissed you, cradling your face in his calloused palms. You let him take you back to his parent's place, nestled just next to your own home. You let him take you upstairs and into his room, holding your hand and shushing you when you both laughed a little too loud.

You let yourself feel like teens once more as you stumbled into that all too familiar room, hit with the smell of Johnny, the smell of home. You felt guilty, ashamed, as you let yourself savour the taste of him, the feeling of his naked body pressed against yours, his hands raking along your body as if you'd disappear if he let go. You let yourself fall asleep in his arms, smiling as he carded his fingers through your hair and pressed kisses to your scalp, whispering incoherent things into your skin.

You awoke the next morning, expecting to find Johnny's bed empty. But it wasn't. And neither was it the next morning, or the morning after that. In fact, the pair of you spent a lot of time waking up together.

This is where you find yourself now, lying in the early morning light in Johnny's bed, the man in question sprawled out next to you, snoring with his mouth wide open, drool leaking on his pillow.

"Gross," you murmur to yourself with a fond smile, tucking yourself into his side and closing your eyes once more.

[loveandlegacy]

would love to hear more about your theory that the black rose will torture magic out of mel 👀

lol it's sort of based on nothing but scraps but let's start with the actual opening sequence. we get this glimpse of mel with hands all around her and we know now from the show that the hands are the black rose (their magic manifests as roses/thorns/grabbing hands). but also in general i think it feels kind of important that hands grabbing at a person's body are like generally regarded as a violation of that person right? like mel obviously isn't consenting to being touched, her expression is pained. to me it feels like in addition to the black rose being scary, these people are probably going to try to hurt her physically.

but why would they do that! ig maybe just to get back at ambessa for whatever their "feud" is, but if that were their only goal why would they kidnap mel and not just. assassinate her? that would certainly be more expeditious. that happens all the time. but holding mel hostage and/or torturing her feels a very specific and different choice.

in the lore, the black rose is described a cabal that has been influencing noxian politics for centuries. in the present moment they: "[exist] now to further the clandestine interests of those who can wield the magic hidden within the Immortal Bastion—with its rank-and-file composed of mundane nobles, drawn to rumors of miracles, kept in thrall and ruthlessly exploited. Even the most powerful military commander could only ever serve the cult's true masters, as they fight one another for influence in games of intrigue and conquest, both in the Noxian capital and beyond its borders." (from the league fandom wiki; emphasis mine)

but elora stated that ambessa is LOSING influence. she has been stripped of many of her holdings and seems to have been backed into a desperate corner, so it doesnt seem super likely that the black rose kidnapped mel in order to manipulate ambessa into furthering their power within noxus. she is outside the power structure for now, that's the whole reason she went to piltover in search of hextech weaponry.

instead i think it's more likely that mel has something to do with the black rose's fixation on magic and magic users.

idk how much you know or care about league lore but i'll give a quick rundown here of one particular champion who has not appeared in the show: rell. in league, she's a 16 year old girl who possesses the powers of ferromancy and whose parents basically handed her over to the black rose as a child where they trapped her in a secret academy and violently augment her power thru forced combat and painful magical-medical procedures.

people have a lot of theories about whether or not rell has some relation to the medardas but i am not trying to get into that here. i bring her up mostly to highlight the fact that the black rose's obsession with magic and magic users has shown that they're basically totally okay with torture and child abuse if it furthers their ends of producing/controlling magic users and mages.

and we know from ambessa's MV that mel is PROBABLY touched or blessed or magic-infused by the kindred in some way

idk if this magic is dormant or hidden or what but if the black rose knows about it i can imagine they would be Very interested in trying to harness it (and mel) to their own ends. and especially if it IS dormant or if mel for some reason just doesn't want to use her magic, i can see the black rose resorting to torture to force the magic out of her.

lastly we also have this shot of her from the opening!

i think this is interesting mostly because we've never really seen mel in a state of really unbridled rage. we've seen her get very angry! at ambessa. but never like full-on screaming rage. but here it is happening in the opener! obviously there are a lot of things that could get someone to this point but i do think getting abducted, tortured, and forced into magic use would definitely be. one way. for that to happen. i know a lot of people think that this shot means she's going to somehow end up agreeing with ambessa about might-makes-right but i just don't see that being an arc for her character that makes any sense. she has so firmly positioned herself as someone who opposes both noxus's ideology and ambessa's ideology that i think the only way she could possibly become this wrathful is not because she agrees with ambessa but because something so dramatic has happened to her that she's basically forced to break from her principles in order to survive.

anyway lol! this is so long 😭 i'm sure whatever happens to mel the story will be both interesting and heartbreaking 💔

[dcbbw]

Knock, Knock

Dearest Tumblrs,

I know I have been MIA for the longest of times, but I haven’t left y’all yet. My father died 46 days ago. I’m still processing that, still getting used to the presence of his absence. I have spent the majority of 2024 caring for two parents while holding down a full-time job; differentiating between sickness and illness, conditions and diseases, and watching a loved one fall into an invincible decline and eventually succumb to the inevitable.

I have never experienced profound loss before, and it is a hurt unlike any other I have ever experienced. I thought because I was there, I saw it unfolding in real time 24/7 that I would be prepared when the time came.

I was not. I never was.

I’m still grieving, still reeling from the sucker-punch that is death, still tiptoeing around a landmine of emotions, all while being a productive employee and dutiful daughter and caretaker to my remaining parent.

I don’t sleep well (and haven’t for over a year), listening for bumps and cries in the night and waiting to hear my name called because I’m needed. I don’t go out unless it’s to run errands: grocery store, car maintenance, pick up prescriptions. I spend 9 hours at a paid job (forgoing my lunch hour so I can come home and make beds, empty commodes, and fix lunch for my mom; before dad’s decline got too bad, I fed them both).

There’s laundry to wash, dry, fold; bathrooms to clean, floors to mop, rooms to sweep and vacuum, meals to cook. Mail and packages have to be both sent out and brought in. And since dad left, I have to take care of what is left of his business as well as get help with keeping the house standing. The furnace had to be replaced; there was a gas leak and piping had to be repaired and restored. The main sewer line was clogged and had to be cleared. I still need to find a reliable yard person to rake and bag the leaves.

 I’m strong because I have to be, not because I want to be.

During all of this, dealing with reality and life, all I wanted to do was write. To lose myself in worlds I create, to detach myself from transition and death and ever-mounting bills. My head is filled constantly with thoughts, ideas, and dialogue; perhaps now I may be able to find/make time and have more focus to get back to what calms me, what I feel I do well, and makes me happy.

I have so many stories to finish (my masterlist is a huge pile of incompletes) and start, but these are the stories and AUs in the works:

Babylon—Dolos: The Homeland AU dealing with international current events

Babylon—Belly of the Beast: The Homeland AU fictionalizing the 2024 election

 Watercoolers and Coffeepots—the DC AU gang’s take on the 2024 election within the workplace

Sex and the Middle-Aged Divorcee—what’s it like being a 54-year-old woman in the world of online dating

Single—UnRomance is back with a follow-up to this storyline

Tuesday’s Child—an OC-centric story about a family whose patriarch is dying (any similarities between my family (or yours) is purely coincidental

Hospital Lost—a medical drama AU drawn largely on St. Elsewhere, ER, and Grey’s Anatomy which will be a crossover cluster. Imagine Open Heart with focus on emergency room patients and a lot more staff

I feel it’s only fair to warn you that I’ve decided to give up creative writing for writing creatively; if my writing reads/feels differently, this is the reason why.

This is all I have for now, but hopefully I will be back soon. Since I have ZERO idea who’s left, tagging the few I know are still active in the TRR/TRH/TRF sub-fandom. Feel free to let me know if you want on or off the taglist.

Tagging: @angelasscribbles @kristinamae093 @kingliam2019 @indiacater @twinkleallnight @tessa-liam @bebepac

[imagines-for-everybody-blog]

James Beaufort Imagine pt. 1

Words: 524

Warnings: none

Summary: You are home alone and your secret crush James visits you unexpectedly

You were dancing in your undies, because you thought you were home alone. Your parents had some important meetings with some important people. Your brother had to accompany them. The music was blaring from the system’s speakers in the living room. Typical good feeling music and you sang along loudly.

You turned around while dancing but suddendly you stopped moving and stopped singing.

James Beaufort, your brother’s best friend stood in the door frame and watched you dancing...in your underwear. Since your brother was best friends with James, you had a crush on him. But you also heard the stories about him breaking waterbeds and breaking hearts. You knew he was trouble and no one to lose your heart to.

„Why are you here?“, you asked pretending not to be embarrassed. Your cheeks were probably as red as a tomato. Of course you were embarrassed. James was the first guy ever to see you in your underwear.

Scanning your whole body he said „Your brother invited me.“

„Well, he’s out with my parents for some bussiness meetings.“

He grinned walking up to the couch „Oh I’ll just wait until he comes back.“

You turned down the volume and asked „Do you want beer?“

He just nodded. First you went to your room and put on an oversized shirt, then you took two beer out of the fridge.

You handed him the beer and sat next to him on the couch.

„I liked the other outfit more than this.“, he cheekily smiled before toasting with the beer.

You rolled your eyes „Of course you liked that one.“

„Why’s that?“

„You’re a guy.“

„And you’re hot.“

You blushed immediatly  and sipped quickly on the beer. Yo’ve never been told that you‘re hot or something like that. The guys in class are childish. James is just two years older.

„My brother will kill you, if I tell him that you called me hot AND saw me in my underwear.“, you said and looked at him.

He grinned cheekily „You won’t tell him that.“

„Why are you so sure about that?“

James moved closer to you and your heart was starting to beat faster.

„You like me.“, he said

You laughed artificially and pushed him gently. He was faster and grabbed your hand before you could remove it from his shoulder. „I don’t like you.“, you said but it didn’t sound convincing.

His eyes found yours „ Y/N I don’t believe you. <<

You swallowed hard and suddendly you felt such heat. Your treacherous heart beat even faster.

James noticed that and grinned, because he knew he was right.

„I-I won’t tell my brother.“, you nervously said.

He said still grinning „Good because now I can kiss you.“ ,and so he did. He was very gentle and kissed you, like you were made of glass. One hand rested on your cheek and the other on your back.

It was your first kiss ever and it felt just perfect, but within seconds it was all over. You both heard the front door and broke the kiss. You took as much distance as possible and tried to catch your breath.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Private equity ghouls have a new way to steal from their investors

Private equity is quite a racket. PE managers pile up other peoples’ money — pension funds, plutes, other pools of money — and then “invest” it (buying businesses, loading them with debt, cutting wages, lowering quality and setting traps for customers). For this, they get an annual fee — 2% — of the money they manage, and a bonus for any profits they make.

On top of this, private equity bosses get to use the carried interest tax loophole, a scam that lets them treat this ordinary income as a capital gain, so they can pay half the taxes that a working stiff would pay on a regular salary. If you don’t know much about carried interest, you might think it has to do with “interest” on a loan or a deposit, but it’s way weirder. “Carried interest” is a tax regime designed for 16th century sea captains and their “interest” in the cargo they “carried”:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/29/writers-must-be-paid/#carried-interest

Private equity is a cancer. Its profits come from buying productive firms, loading them with debt, abusing their suppliers, workers and customers, and driving them into ground, stiffing all of them — and the company’s creditors. The mafia have a name for this. They call it a “bust out”:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/02/plunderers/#farben

Private equity destroyed Toys R Us, Sears, Bed, Bath and Beyond, and many more companies beloved of Main Street, bled dry for Wall Street:

https://prospect.org/culture/books/2023-06-02-days-of-plunder-morgenson-rosner-ballou-review/

And they’re coming for more. PE funds are “rolling up” thousands of Boomer-owned business as their owners retire. There’s a good chance that every funeral home, pet groomer and urgent care clinic within an hour’s drive of you is owned by a single PE firm. There’s 2.9m more Boomer-owned businesses going up for sale in the coming years, with 32m employees, and PE is set to buy ’em all:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/16/schumpeterian-terrorism/#deliberately-broken

PE funds get their money from “institutional investors.” It shouldn’t surprise you to learn they treat their investors no better than their creditors, nor the customers, employees or suppliers of the businesses they buy.

Pension funds, in particular, are the perennial suckers at the poker table. My parent’s pension fund, the Ontario Teachers’ Fund, are every grifter’s favorite patsy, losing $90m to Sam Bankman-Fried’s cryptocurrency scam:

https://www.otpp.com/en-ca/about-us/news-and-insights/2022/ontario-teachers--statement-on-ftx/

Pension funds are neck-deep in private equity, paying steep fees for shitty returns. Imagine knowing that the reason you can’t afford your apartment anymore is your pension fund gambled with the private equity firm that bought your building and jacked up the rent — and still lost money:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/02/25/pluralistic-your-daily-link-dose-25-feb-2020/

But there’s no depth too low for PE looters to sink to. They’ve found an exciting new way to steal from their investors, a scam called a “continuation fund.” Writing in his latest newsletter, the great Matt Levine breaks it down:

https://news.bloomberglaw.com/mergers-and-acquisitions/matt-levines-money-stuff-buyout-funds-buy-from-themselves

Here’s the deal: say you’re a PE guy who’s raised a $1b fund. That entitles you to a 2% annual “carry” on the fund: $20,000,000/year. But you’ve managed to buy and asset strip so many productive businesses that it’s now worth $5b. Your carry doesn’t go up fivefold. You could sell the company and collect your 20% commission — $800m — but you stop collecting that annual carry.

But what if you do both? Here’s how: you create a “continuation fund” — a fund that buys your old fund’s portfolio. Now you’ve got $5b under management and your carry quintuples, to $100m/year. Levine dryly notes that the FT calls this “a controversial type of transaction”:

https://www.ft.com/content/11549c33-b97d-468b-8990-e6fd64294f85

These deals “look like a pyramid scheme” — one fund flips its assets to another fund, with the same manager running both funds. It’s a way to make the pie bigger, but to decrease the share (in both real and proportional terms) going to the pension funds and other institutional investors who backed the fund.

A PE boss is supposed to be a fiduciary, with a legal requirement to do what’s best for their investors. But when the same PE manager is the buyer and the seller, and when the sale takes place without inviting any outside bidders, how can they possibly resolve their conflict of interest?

They can’t: 42% of continuation fund deals involve a sale at a value lower than the one that the PE fund told their investors the assets were worth. Now, this may sound weird — if a PE boss wants to set a high initial value for their fund in order to maximize their carry, why would they sell its assets to the new fund at a discount?

Here’s Levine’s theory: if you’re a PE guy going back to your investors for money to put in a new fund, you’re more likely to succeed if you can show that their getting a bargain. So you raise $1b, build it up to $5b, and then tell your investors they can buy the new fund for only $3b. Sure, they can get out — and lose big. Or they can take the deal, get the new fund at a 40% discount — and the PE boss gets $60m/year for the next ten years, instead of the $20m they were getting before the continuation fund deal.

PE is devouring the productive economy and making the world’s richest people even richer. The one bright light? The FTC and DoJ Antitrust Division just published new merger guidelines that would make the PE acquire/debt-load/asset-strip model illegal:

https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/news/press-releases/2023/07/ftc-doj-seek-comment-draft-merger-guidelines

The bad news is that some sneaky fuck just slipped a 20% FTC budget cut — $50m/year — into the new appropriations bill:

https://twitter.com/matthewstoller/status/1681830706488438785

They’re scared, and they’re fighting dirty.

I’m at San Diego Comic-Con!

Today (Jul 20) 16h: Signing, Tor Books booth #2802 (free advance copies of The Lost Cause — Nov 2023 — to the first 50 people!)

Tomorrow (Jul 21):

1030h: Wish They All Could be CA MCs, room 24ABC (panel)

12h: Signing, AA09

Sat, Jul 22 15h: The Worlds We Return To, room 23ABC (panel)

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/20/continuation-fraud/#buyout-groups

[Image ID: An old Punch editorial cartoon depicting a bank-robber sticking up a group of businesspeople and workers. He wears a bandanna emblazoned with dollar-signs and a top-hat.]

[starogeorgina]

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬

Warning: Swearing

Pairing: Helena Targaryen × OC

1.04

To celebrate the betrothal between yourself and Cregan Stark, your older cousin Gerold Royce threw one of the finest feats Runestone had seen in years. The halls were vibrating with an electrical charge while fine wine and various delicious-smelling foods were brought out, but your favorite part of the night was reuniting with your former lady in waiting, who was due to give birth within the next moon. As she tells you about her experiences of pregnancy, your mind continues to go back to Helaena, and you wonder if she has anyone to share these moments with within the Red Keep.

As the hours turn late, most of the lords and ladies retreat for the night. You are sitting with a handful of knights who are off for the night when you notice the perplexed look on Jacaerys face while he speaks with Lady Waynwood, an older lady of the court who was known for her sharp words. Concerned, you excuse yourself and go over to him. Linking your arm with his, you ask, “Can you walk me back to my chambers? It’s getting late, and we need to get up early tomorrow.”

Jace raises his brow, surprised but nodding. You say goodnight to the few drunken fools that remain in the hall before you begin to walk back. One of your protectors lingers far enough back so he’s not intrusive in your conversation.

“Did Lady Waynwood say something ill-mannered?”

“No, uh, she says she knew Queen Aemma well. Lady Wayneood said I remind her of my grandmother, that I have a similar softness to what she did.”

“Princess Daella and Queen Aemma are remembered fondly in the Vale, and I’ve heard many times how both mother and daughter were extremely kindhearted. I vaguely recall my own grandmother saying how all the ladies at court would dote on the then princess Aemma; everyone loved her,” you say, offering him a sympathetic smile. You wondered how many times in Jacaerys life he’s been told he looks like someone from his Targayren bloodline. “After Queen Aemma gave birth to Princess Rhaenyra, everyone in the Vale gathered for one of the largest feats that has ever taken place in Runestone, before many of the lords and ladies traveled to King's Landing to join in on the formal celebrations.”

“That I could imagine,” he says. “Although I’m surprised to hear you say it so casually.”

“How so?”

“You don’t like my mother.”

Hearing those words come from Jace’s mouth makes your stomach drop. “That’s not true... I just dislike being around anyone who loves my father so much.”

You value your friendship with Jacaerys far too much to risk losing it by telling him the real reasons you couldn’t take Rhaenyra. It was no secret in the Vale that your father would go to King's Landing to give gifts to the realm's delight and would read her poetry, and they would sneak off during the hour of the owl to brothels together, all while your mother was still alive. Your father would laugh and call her a bronze bitch and say fucking sheep would be a better option than her. They had no respect for anyone in house Royce, but you would never tell Jace that.

—

Before you even step foot on the sandy beaches of Dragonstone, you feel immediately homesick, as a sense of regret lingers inside you. In Runestone, you had friends; you had kin from your mother's side who adored you. You were respected and made to feel wanted and loved. And yet, you found yourself back on the island, trying to fill the void of emptiness of not having a parent. Despite all the horrid rumors of your father cheating on your mother, you still wanted him to care for you.

Jacaerys notices your mood dropping and slows his pace, so he’s walking beside you as you make your way along the beach to meet the knights who are waiting to escort you back into the castle walls.

“They adore you, you know?” Jace says. “You’ve never mentioned how they call you the dragon of the Vale before... I wonder if the Starks will call you the dragon of the north once you’re married.”

Forcing a smile, you nod, “Perhaps they will... When I’m married to Lord Stark, can you watch over Runestone for me? I don’t want to leave my people defenseless, as nothing keeps those who would cause them harm at bay quite like a dragon.”

Jace links his arm with yours, then presses a kiss to the side of your head. “You maintain that you care about nothing, but I see right through it. And I know you care about your family on Dragonstone, even if you don’t like us much.”

“Whatever you say, my prince.”

—

As Jacaerys fills his mother in on his experience in Runestone and how highly the people spoke of the late Queen Aemma, you notice Lucerys eyes keep flickering between the plate of food in front of him and yourself.

Eventually, in a quiet voice, Lucerys asks. “What’s it like to ride a wild dragon?”

“Very painful since he’s not saddled,” you say jokingly, but feel bad when Luke looks disappointed by your answer. The younger boy usually seems scared of you, so it was something that he made the effort to speak with you first. “The only dragon I've only ever ridden on is the cannibal, so I don’t know any different.”

“Lies.”

Hearing your father’s voice, you roll your eyes and pretend you didn’t hear him. “I don’t really remember a time when I wasn’t bonded with my dragon; I first saw him when he flew to Runestone to feed on sheep.”

Luke’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Weren’t you terrified?”

“Not that I can remember,” you smile, remembering the memory fondly. “My cousin Gerold's lady wife had joined him on a hunting party, so I could go as well. I was being taught how to shoot an arrow when the cannibal swooped down and began picking sheep from a nearby farm with his claws and tossing them into the air to burn.”

“I took you flying on Caraxes when you were a baby, just as I did Baela and Rhaena,” your father scoffs.

“How touching.” Since this was the first time he had mentioned that he took you flying on his own dragon, you doubted it ever happened.

You try to continue telling Luke how you claimed your dragon, but your father cuts in again, “Rhea put a stop to it.”

“Don’t mention my mother!”

“I think it’s time for everyone to retreat for the evening,” Rhaenyra says sternly. Even she seems surprised by your father's urge to provoke you.

Luke holds his hand out for Joffrey to take, “Come on, Joffrey. Time for bed.”

You smile sadly at the young boys; a perfectly fine evening and meal were ruined. When you stand to leave, Rhaenyra stands up as well; she twists the ring on her finger. “Vissera, I’m going to have dresses fitted tomorrow; maybe you’d like to join me. We can sample different fabrics for your engagement and wedding dresses.”

The princess's offer was a kind one, but a knot twists in your stomach, and you're not sure why. Perhaps it was because you felt disingenuous about befriending her. “Yes, that would be lovely. Thank you for the offer.”

—

“I’ve never seen you in a dress before. I bet you’ll look beautiful,” Helaena muses, then abruptly sits up right. “Not that you don’t usually.”

A small smile pulls on your lips. “Thank you, princess.”

Comfortable moments of silence pass with nothing but the sounds of dragons squealing in the distance and the sound of waves crashing nearby as you and Helaena embrace each other in the small cave, sitting in front of a small fire.

Helaena’s lips meet the side of your neck before she lets out a soft sigh, “The sun is starting to rise. I’ll need to return soon to wake my children and then join my mother in breaking fast.”

“Is the queen excited to have another grandchild?” You ask, using Alicent’s official title so as not to offend Helaena.

“She’s happy I’m performing my duty and giving Aegon another heir.” She stares into the flames of the now-dead fire for a few moments before speaking again. “I hope it’s another boy, so that I don’t need to lay with him again for some time.”

Not knowing what to say, you kiss your silver-haired princess on the forehead. It was easy for you to forget how much Helaena has been through by being pressured into having a baby so young because she hardly ever speaks about how much it affects her. Your heart bleeds for her. Helaena was far too kind and innocent; you’d do anything to take her pain away.

[suguruslut]

Giving Birth/Them as a Father

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴

<<< 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙏𝙖𝙩𝙨𝙪🐉| 𝙏𝙤𝙧𝙖🐅| 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙖🐕 >>>

Gwen's Note: babies are only fun in fiction, lol

🐉𝒯𝒶𝓉𝓈𝓊🍳

–he is so prepared! Even more prepared than you, honestly. He’s read every article and book there is with updated info about which positions to give birth in, how to naturally alleviate pain, the sterile process everyone must take to ensure no infections or illnesses are spread. He will be watching everyone like a hawk

–you go a week past your due date, which worries Tatsu, so he does some light exercises with you hoping to induce labor. Wouldn’t you know it, half an hour later your water breaks. Cue Tatsu grabbing the bag he packed six months ago and whipping out a wheelchair you didn’t know you guys had

–Tatsu is great during labor, though he’s secretly very nervous something will go horribly wrong. What will he do if he loses you? What if he loses you BOTH? He was a yakuza, though, so he manages to keep his cool on the outside, saying encouraging things to you the entire time, and lets you squeeze his hand as hard as you can

– “You can do this, {Y/N}! Focus! Push that little sucker out!”

– With your husband’s encouragement, your labor (mercifully) goes quickly, and within four pushes they’re out! Tatsu comforts you with kind words, shaking with anxiety and adrenaline as he sees your baby for the first time

– Tatsu stands over each medical personnel to make damn sure they’re being sanitary as they pass the baby around, finally handing them back to you. Tatsu allows himself to smile, seeing your happy tears and the cries of your child–he would have never in a million years expected this sweet scene to involve someone like him

– “Aww, Tatsu, you’re crying!”

– “No I ain’t! It’s just the lighting!”

–can you say GIRL DAD?!!! Tatsu sobbed when they said your baby was a girl. He’s so excited to do dress up and have tea parties and tutus and worry about her every second of every day…very excited. (Secretly, this is because he thinks a girl would be more like you than him. He’d rather have a mini you than a mini him)

–You wanted a pretty name, but not something overused; Tatsu said no daughter of yours was going to have a typical “scrub name,” so you go with the cute but not common Shiori. Tatsu nicknamed her his little dragon immediately

–When you go home with your little girl, Tatsu is fretting about EVERYTHING. The man has prepared for things you never would have thought of, but he knows that babies always surprise their parents, and that makes him nervous. He never takes his eyes off Shiori, overreading into every little thing she does as a possible sickness or issue

–Tatsu will absolutely wait on you hand and foot. He does that anyway, but now it’s x50. He will prepare bottles, get diapers ready, clean puke stains, and in between that, will give you massages, make your favorite foods, bring you snacks, tea. He will literally wash your hair for you if you ask.

–you need a break from breastfeeding and sitting in bed all day? Tatsu is already ready with a spa day coupon for you. He can’t imagine how hard it is on your body as well as your mind, being a new mother, and whatever you need to do to feel your best, Tatsu is your number one supporter

– “If my beautiful wife needs a break from nurturing our daughter, you bet yer ass she’s gonna get it! Here’s a 30% coupon. I got it from a tomato growing contest.”

–Endless picture taking! When he isn’t worrying or rushing around trying to make things easier for you and your little dragon, he is filling his camera roll with adorable pictures of Shiori. And his beautiful wife, ofc. The last 500 pics on his phone are of you, Shiori, and quite a bit of selfies with him and his little girl. And it’s only been one week

–Tatsu’s heart is overflowing with love upon becoming a dad, filling your head with deep appreciation and revere for allowing him to pass this milestone with you. He quickly becomes the most popular dad on the block, admired and respected by everyone for his loud, but gentle parenting

🐅𝒯𝑜𝓇𝒶𝒿𝒾𝓇𝑜🍰

–Tora is constantly checking his phone, always on edge that you might suddenly go into labor. One day when he’s at the crepe truck at three in the afternoon, he’s in the middle of whipping up a crepe when you text him SOS,BB OTW! He has never dropped a crepe so fast

–He meets you at the hospital, breathless and yelling for someone to tell him where his wife is. Tora sprints into your room all dramatic like, rushing to your side with immediate worries and demands to know what’s going on

–Tora hates seeing you in pain, which makes it hard for him to watch you in labor. He knows you’re doing it to bring life into the world, life he helped create, but it hurts him to see you yelling and crying in agony. He’ll do his best to encourage you, trying to hype you up for that last push

–He is more focused on you when the baby actually comes out, constantly asking if you’re okay, if you need anything, etc. Then when they push the baby at you guys he’s like “??? Oh, yeah!”

–Much like Tatsu, I think Tora is such a girl dad!!! She would be his angel from the first moment you place her in his big hands. He is her protector, her tiger. Speaking of tigers…

– “How bout we name her Tigress? You know, from Kung Fu Panda? What a boss!”

– “Tora…no.”

– Neither of you want a traditional Japanese name; you settle on Sakima, which means ‘warrior queen.’ Enough flare for Tora, enough uniqueness for you. Her nickname quickly becomes Kima the Killer, courtesy of her father

–Tora does not like random people handling his daughter, even if they are “medical personnel.” He glares at everyone, always asks questions on what they’re doing and why they’re doing it. You have to cool him off sometimes, reassuring your husband that they’re just making sure Sakima is healthy

–Back at home, Tora loosens up a bit. He smiles big smiles, slows himself down and really admires his little girl, staring at and watching her for hours on end. It’s a softer side to Tora no one else usually sees. Feels so relaxed around his little killer who loves tickles and kisses

��Absolutely sends a million pics of him and his daughter to Tatsu, bragging like you wouldn’t believe. Not that you can blame him, Kima is very cute, and already has her father’s intense gold eyes that demand respect

–Tora will take on any challenge brought to him, which includes dirty diapers, spit, puke, snot, spilled milk, anything, and he won’t complain at all, not even silently. Nothing compares to blood and guts anyway

– “It’s an honor to serve my family and get my hands dirty!”

–He is always the one to get up in the middle of the night if Kima cries. In his eyes, you’re already doing so much, have already DONE so much, giving birth and all, Tora won’t let you lift a finger. His wonderful wife is gonna get her beauty rest and not have to worry about a thing

-Tora loves being a bad ass dad and strolling around the neighborhood with his adorable little baby girl and his hot wife, whom he vows to protect with his life. Insert DILF era!

🐕ℳ𝒶𝓈𝒶🥡

–you go into labor in the middle of the night, and it takes you a good five minutes to wake Masa up. Dude can sleep forever, so you pinch his side hard to get him alert. When you do, he still needs to be told several times that you’re going into labor before his brain catches up

– “You’re…huh? Labor? You mean, like…the thing that…you know…really?!”

– Calls Tatsu on the way to the hospital in a panic, having forgotten everything he should do to ease your anxiety. Tatsu talks him through it, but it’s pretty clear that Masa is panicking just as much as you are. Luckily the nurses at the hospital know what they’re doing

–Masa tries to be brave and goes into the delivery room with you. He really doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but the boss said he’s gotta do it, so here he is. Poor boy tries hard to be supportive, but his ramblings only make you more anxious because you can tell HE’S nervous

–as soon as he sees the baby’s head popping out…yeah, he passes out cold, lol. Gory yakuza movies are great, but this kind of explicit imagery is too much for his manly brain to handle. Sorry, but you’re on your own now, kid, lmao

–Tatsu wakes Masa up and waits for everything to be cleaned up before bringing him back in. Masa is scared shitless, eyes wide, hands shaking as he approaches you and your newborn; but the second he sees your tearful smile at him, all his panic drifts away

– “Woah! We really made this thing? Dope! …Huh…it’s kinda ugly, isn’t it? Why does it look like that?”

– It takes some convincing, because Masa is afraid he’ll drop your baby, but you do get him to hold it, and a genuinely excited smile finally comes through. He’s in disbelief about being a dad until he holds the baby in his own arms, amazed at the lively little thing squirming about

–I can see Masa as being a boy dad. He’d be so stoked to have a mini man, would probably try to name it something like Kazuma, Yami, Link, anything from a video game he loves. You would compromise and go with Shinji, a nice name that can also be connected to several games and anime

–Masa feels clueless when you take your son home, anxious about everything you have to do right away…he spends most of his time just staring at the little guy, though, overwhelmed with awe that you two created this. It blows his mind, and he has no idea where to begin

– “So like, what do babies eat? I’ve got like, ten yen…maybe we can get them something small from the convenience store?”

– “Babies drink breast milk for the first year of their lives, Masa.”

– *Masa malfunction*

–For probably the first time in his life, Masa becomes focused, worried that he’s doing everything wrong when really, he’s doing a great job trying to keep up with your newborn. He’s doing his best, and that’s all you could ever ask for; the bags under his eyes prove it

–brags endlessly about his baby boy! He’s YouTube and Instagram famous already. Masa wants to set Shinji up for success and fame

–Although he might whine on the inside, he’ll clean diapers, wipe boogers, clean up puke, get up during the middle of the night, whatever! Masa wants to be as good a father as Tatsu says he can be. Whatever you ask him to do, he’ll do it, even if he feels like he isn’t doing things good enough

– Babies fascinate Masa, lol, and his son is especially interesting to him. He gets so excited whenever Shinji makes a new noise, or a new movement, or just does humanly things in general. He becomes convinced that Shinji’s quick fingers mean he’ll be a great video game player one day

– Speaking of video games, Masa sets his baby son down on the couch with him as he plays, explaining the lore in details a newborn could never understand. He claims Shinji is his good luck charm, and frequently casts a look down at his son to ensure he’s okay. You think it’s cute when you find Masa and Shinji asleep on the couch after completing a hard level together, your two silly boys the best of friends already

–Like Tora, Masa loves showing his baby off, feeling like a real adult when he whips out pictures of Shinji at his first photoshoot; really, it isn’t pride he’s feeling, but just pure, unfiltered happiness he wants to spread to everyone he meets. Masa might worry a lot about his parenting skills, but with you there to help, he thinks he might turn out to be a great dad

🐉 🐅 🐕

Househusband Headcanon Masterlist

[donna-rinascimentale]

hiya! hope you doing well.

would you elaborate on the interpretation you were talking about in your Labyrinth post tags? what you said was really interesting and I never thought about it that way! 👀

also, hope you had fun watching! ✨✨✨

certainly.

i’d always been subscribed to the interpretation that the labyrinth is a metaphor for navigating coming of age, that the end of sarah’s hero’s journey is a means of balancing adult maturity with never losing a child’s sense of wonder and imagination. the fandom has thought up tons of explanations for where jareth falls in this scenario. is he a tangible antagonist, actively trying to get sarah to slip back into her old childish ways? a metaphor for adulthood, all that sarah is and isn’t ready for?

i think he’s all sarah’s creation. so does jim henson.

“He represents a lot of things that are a part of Sarah's world, what she's trying to figure out and what she's going through. … [Jareth] has no reality except what Sarah gives him, which she can constantly change.”

sarah seems to be very genre-savvy. she reads lines from a play titled the labyrinth, and she recognizes the puzzle of the two guards and implies she’s practiced it before in case she’d happen to encounter it. here, the labyrinth is a product of sarah’s fantasy, by which she navigates her adolescence and her parents’ divorce and her perceived lack of autonomy in a manner typical of a seasoned fantasy reader.

sarah is well aware that every fantasy hero needs a villain. the likeness she gives hers is that of her mother’s costar—as the former mrs. williams is a stage actress, shown in the photo on sarah’s vanity of her posing with a fellow actor who looks just like this jareth. sarah made jareth, made him as beautiful and dangerous as she believed he should be.

sarah made jareth.

to jareth, god is a sixteen-year-old girl.

imagine god, calling you by name, crowning you a king and giving you beauty and power. you were quite literally born for this. all you know is this role, building yourself and your kingdom just the way god wishes it.

then, god turns herself away from you.

you may feel betrayed. hollow, like you’ve been stripped of everything that makes you you. “you made me this way,” you might say.

Everything! Everything that you wanted, I have done. You ask the child to be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time, I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you.

“i was playing the role you put me in. what was i made for, if not you?

i can’t live within you.”

Just fear me, love me, do as I say

“let me play the role of villain, the role you made me to fill.”

and I would be your slave.

“your will be done.”

god is a sixteen-year-old girl who hasn’t yet figured out the way she wants to be worshipped. it’s a heavy burden, trying to satisfy someone who doesn’t know what she wants.

but there is hope for jareth.

fandom rarely debates on how to interpret the barn owl at the beginning of the film. we’re pretty much in consensus that it’s a manifestation of jareth, but that’s never given much thought.

when sarah asserts her power and escapes the labyrinth, jareth has once again taken the form of the owl. in the final scene, when sarah celebrates with her friends from the labyrinth, reconciling her love of fantasy with her maturity and self-growth, jareth flies away, smaller and smaller until he’s gone. here we turn to the age-old metaphor of flight as freedom.

in moving away from escapism and becoming an active participant in her own life, sarah has freed jareth from the role of villain. none of the friends in her room are human. be reminded again that jareth bears the likeness of a man present (at least tangentially) in sarah’s real life, who would likely feel disheartened knowing he’s blamed for something beyond his control.

because sarah has no more need for a jareth, there is no more jareth. and that’s arguably best for both of them.

(p.s.: i go to the theater tomorrow! i have a sarah-esque outfit put together and everything. thanks for wishing me well & know tomorrow can’t come soon enough for me… this film has been among my favorites for many many many years and each watch makes me find more to love. best cult i’ve ever joined)

[disaster-writer]

What Lips Can’t Say

Pairing: The Mandalorian x Reader

Summary: Mando realizes that he may not be able to love you the way you want to be loved

Word Count: 3.4k

Rating: T

Warning: Mentions of human trafficking

Din Djarin wasn’t cut out for this. He wasn’t cut out for playing the role of ‘Dad’ or talking to a woman in hopes of pursuing a relationship. 

He ignored the scene behind him in the pilot seat with every ounce of will that he had, but the temptation to look behind himself was all too strong. Especially since he knew he’d only find you cooing at Grogu and staring into his wide innocent eyes going on about how beautiful they were while you stroked his cheeks with him responding in his own gibberish speak.

This entire situation the Mandalorian seemed to find himself in felt all too domestic in the most off kilter way imaginable.

He always figured that if he decided to settle down, it would be with a Mandalorian woman that he’d have a human kid with. It certainly didn’t consist of a little green Jedi menace as a son and attempting to pursue an escaped slave turned thief and con artist.

And you were both his bounties— go figure.

Perhaps he was growing soft. Years ago he would have never done anything like this.

When Din was younger he had hunted kids before and women. He had no problem collecting the price on their heads back then. Sure, maybe it made him feel like shit for a couple days but he needed the money.

But now it was as if he had no self control. He was at least able to hand Grogu over for a day or so but when it came right down to it, he couldn’t just leave the little hellraiser in the hands of the Empire. Maybe you were right to fawn over the kid’s eyes like you had, it was probably those same eyes that had thawed something within Din and ripped out any spine he had in the process.

And he didn’t even want to think about how far he went with you. 

You were only frozen in carbonite for three days before allowing Peli, of all people, to inadvertently talk him into thawing you and helping you find your way back home.

The mechanic had went on her own little tour inside the Razor Crest when he had stopped by for her to fix some things, and upon her little expedition she stuck her nose where it hadn’t belonged.

In the frozen bounties.

That was when she had spotted you, frozen in carbonite with a look of terror marring your beautiful face. 

Peli had immediately gone on and on about how great you were, hanging out with her and the droids to gamble in rounds of Sabacc despite you losing every single time. Then in Peli fashion she had said too much, she went into your sob story, how you were trying to get back home after being separated from your family and seeing your parents killed by stormtroopers right in front of your eyes, and how the bounty on your head was because you had escaped from your slavemaster. So you eventually turned to stealing and conning others in order to survive while you tried to find your way back to your home planet.

”What slave trade was she in?” He had stupidly asked.

”She’s a beautiful young woman, what do you think tin can?”

”The bounty’s too high for an escaped slave.”

”That’s because she left with a little souvenir,” Peli had grinned.

”…What did she take?”

”The bastards cock.”

And that’s why Din Djarin never asked kriffing questions.

Half way towards Nevarro, going through hyperspace. Din had found himself leaving the cockpit and heading towards the captured bounties.

He had flipped through them until he landed on you.

With a sigh, he had unfroze you.

He still remembers the wail that escaped your tense throat and the absolute panic that radiated from you. You were disoriented and blinded from the carbonite and Din had to hold you down to keep you from hurting yourself while you cried about not being able to see.

He had to sooth your panic… something he was certainly not very adept at. But once he had gotten through to you, once he had told you the blindness would wear off, and when he had told you he would help you get back home. Only then, did you calm down.

Little did he know, you lived on an unknown planet in the outer rim, with the strangest kriffing orbital pattern.

So now, almost two years later, you were still with him and Grogu.

There was a particular noise Grogu made behind him that made you giggle in response, and your giggle had made Din’s traitorous heart skip a beat.

He swallowed nervously, keeping his eyes ahead of him in space, once again ignoring the urge to turn around.

Right… there was also that.

It was something that he would forever blame on Mayfeld— if that bastard had just kept his big mouth shut Din maybe would have had a chance of living a life in denial until dropping you off on your home planet only then realizing what had been happening once it was too late.

He was falling for you.

It was so kriffing stupid and made him feel like a teenager all over again. He knew it was ridiculous, he knew it would never happen, but that didn’t stop his thoughts from straying to you or worrying over you whenever you had tagged along on a job.

It was an observation Migs Mayfeld had pointed out during a job he needed help with, and he could no longer ignore his feelings, not with it being said out in the open. The words taunted him, feeling as if they just hung in the air now whenever he was around you.

”Didn’t know you were wife shopping. Looking for a mom for Grogu so you can keep playing house?”

”I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Din had replied.

Mayfeld had furrowed his brow, looking at Mando like he was insane, “Don’t act like I haven’t noticed you hogging her from the moment I stepped onto this ship. I haven’t been able to say two things to the woman without you hovering.”

”That’s not—“

”Alright. Let me ask her out then.”

“What?”

”What. She’s pretty and single, so I’m gonna ask her out,” with that he had headed to the door of the cockpit, putting his hand on the handle to go to the bunker below but before he could open it Mando had placed a hand on the door, holding it shut.

His own actions had shocked himself.

”Interesting.”

Mando hadn’t known what to say, so he remained silent.

”A little advice. Just tell her— who knows? Maybe she has a thing for quiet, brooding Mandalorians.”

He was fucked from that moment on.

”Shifting into hyperspace.”

You hummed in response behind him as he shifted the ship into hyperspace as to continue the search for your home planet.

Din stared into space as the stars zipped past the ship in striking lights of blue. A beautiful sight that’s gotten all too familiar, causing it to lose it’s original charm.

But slowly he spun in his seat to witness one sight that didn’t have the capability of losing its charm.

Just as Din had assumed, there you sat in the copilot’s chair, forehead pressed against Grogu’s as you stared lovingly into his eyes with a grin. Grogu’s small hand had come up to pat your cheek.

It reminded him of the first time you had seen Grogu. 

You had been sitting in his bunker for a few days as you waited for your sight to return, Grogu had been in his hammock as usual. It was morning and you had just woken up to find your eye sight had returned just enough for you to finally get around safely. 

You had known that there was a baby on board, but what you hadn’t expected was to be greeted with the sight of the small creature with impossibly large and innocent eyes.

Din was barely able to pry Grogu from your hands that entire day.

So you had done this a lot with the child.

He had never asked why, the same way you had never asked him about his helmet or the things he would do due to his creed so it didn’t quite feel right for the Mandalorian to ask you about your own peculiar habits.

But something felt different in this moment. 

And whatever that was, it had compelled him to finally put the words into question.

”Why do you do that?” Came the smooth modulated voice from his helmet.

You perked up, lifting your forehead from Grogu’s to meet the same blank stare of Mando’s helmet that you have grown so accustomed to.

”Do what?” Your smile was giddy— a smile that the child always seemed to pull out of you… He’d be lying if it didn’t make him the slightest bit jealous, even if he knew it was silly.

”Stare into his eyes like that.”

”Oh,” you hummed, gazing back down to stroke Grogu’s cheek just below his eye, before peering back up at Mando. “It’s a uh— custom, I guess you could say.  Something my people do back home.”

Din was quiet for a moment. 

You both had been quite similar to one another. Neither one of you spoke much but instead allowed actions to take precedent over words. 

It was one of the reasons you both worked well together. A deeper understanding that transcended the use of words.

But that also lead to crossroads such as this, where Din wanted to learn more about you but didn’t know how to ask you, while you needed the prompting since you never just gave it up.

So he stammered, “Does it— Does it mean something or…” he trailed off awkwardly.

You finally straighten up to start addressing him properly. You laughed softly at his flustered words, “Where’s this sudden curiosity stemming from,” you grinned.

”…You just do it a lot.” He spoke softly.

You hummed again, thinking about how you could explain this cornerstone of your culture to him. 

Truthfully you were quite open about this particular thing but with Mando being a Mandalorian you had decided to keep it to yourself. You’ve always figured that at best he wouldn’t understand where you were coming from but at worst it could accidentally end up insulting his entire way of life… so you kept it shut away.

You had never offered it up and he had never pried.

Until now it seemed.

You quirked your head in thought before deciding to ultimately bite the bolt.

”My people believe that love comes from the eyes.”

Mando didn’t respond.

So you elaborated, “The concept of love, no matter what kind, is very important in my culture. You could say it’s what we are all about. Just as the Mandalorians are trained to fight and handle weapons as part of your religion, love is the main focus for us.”

”… The Mandalorians believe in love.” He responded softly, something was beginning to ache within himself at your words.

You nodded, “Yes, the loyalty that the Mandalorians have is very similar to us— it’s my favorite part of the Mandalorian Creed if I am being honest.”

Din was starting to realize that you may have known more about him and his people than he did about you and yours all along.

”However, we were never strong believers in learning how to fight… it was how the Empire was able to target us and invade the planet. Everything I learned, the stealing, the conning, how to fight back in combat and fire a blaster goes against everything I ever believed in,” you said sadly, eyes falling back to the baby in your arms who cooed at you.

The ache was rapidly growing within Mando’s chest. He had asked you to steal for him during certain jobs, you were smaller than him and quite efficient at the task. He had also had you aid him in fights and… he was the one that wanted to teach you how to fire a blaster. A memory he once found intimate had quickly soured at the thought of making you turn your back on your beliefs.

He felt sick. But you continued.

”Perhaps we were just too peaceful, but I loved every minute of it. My parents were madly in love, the way my father would look at my mother always made me want to find a man that would look at me the same way one day. What I do with Grogu is something parents do with their babies to convey how much they love them.”

”I didn’t know you were such a romantic.”

You smiled at Din— a heart stopping smile, “You’re not the only one that’s secretly a softy.”

”I’m not—“

You wordlessly held Grogu up, making him concede your point.

”So eyes, huh?” He asked, not sure if he wanted to hear anymore but at the same time he liked hearing you speak about something you clearly held so much passion for.

If he knew it was this easy to get you to talk this whole time, he would have asked sooner.

”Yes,” you nodded, “We believe our eyes say things our lips can’t even attempt to say with words. I suppose some of our habits are quite strange when you think about it.”

”Like what?”

”Well… it was quite easy to tell when someone wanted to pursue you, all you had to do was keep eye contact when talking to them and pretty soon they would take the hint. School kids have a funny thing they do when they have a crush on someone— during lectures it wasn’t unusual for kids to be staring at the one they liked throughout the class— it drove our teachers crazy,” you giggled, “There was one time I had three boys staring at me at once during a lecture— I was a bit of a heartthrob back then if you could believe,” you laughed again.

’I do’

Din forced a dry laugh.

”When lovers are alone, you would simply gaze into your partners eyes for as long as you wanted. No words would need to be said because everything was said with their eyes— we also value physical touch quite a bit so you could imagine where those situations likely ended up.” You blushed, looking out the windshield of the ship.

”Did you have a lover,” his voice shook.

”I did,” you nodded, “Again, I was quite the heartthrob. We were together until I ran from home after my parents were killed. That was when I fled to Coruscant just to end up a slave,” your voice soured, “I suppose I was just too trusting.”

”You were never taught that not everyone has good intentions,” he suddenly realized.

You nodded, “I guess you could say that. Not everyone on my planet was good, we’re all just human after all, but I never thought…” you trailed off. Din watched as you tried to blink back a set of tears before continuing, “But yes, I had a boyfriend— he had the most beautiful green eyes. I would stare into them for hours. He was one of the most desired boys in my town and all the girls were jealous of me but… the Empire would come to take everything away.”

Din shut his eyes, wanting the pain that took hold of his heart to ebb away as he asked his next question, “Are you trying to get back to him?”

You sighed, “No. We were only children then. He’s grown and I’m grown— I know that I am no longer the same person he once knew and I am sure he’s carried on with his life. But that’s alright,” You finally looked back at Mando.

It was quiet once more. Din was trying to swallow down his emotion while you continued to reflect on your home.

Din could almost hear is heart beating in the silence.

”We used to play a game as kids, two friends would gaze into each other’s eyes and…” you trailed off before your eyes suddenly lit up. “We should play.” 

“But I can’t—“ 

“That’s okay, we can still play,” you said excitedly, placing Grogu back into his pram, who had been talking now at the sudden excitement. 

You stood up, grasping Mando’s hand to stand him up and pull him behind the seats of the cockpit to the open space.

”Kneel,” you said, climbing onto your knees and pulling him down by the hand.

He quickly did as you said so that you were kneeling across from each other.

”Can you take your gloves off?”

Din wordlessly took them off.

”Okay so— if this is too much you can stop me, but this was the game,” you picked up his gloveless hands and placed them to cup your nape and the back of your head, your own hands then coming to cup his. “Is it alright if I touch your skin?”

”Yeah,” Din exhaled, already with his head in a spin.

With his consent you had slid your fingers and palms into the cowl of his flight suit and cupped the warm skin of his neck.

”Now,” you pulled him forward so his helmet touched your forehead, causing his breath to hitch.

He was beginning to see even more, how different the two of you were, where this was just a game for you but for him… this was a keldabe kiss. 

“All we have to do is stare into each other eyes for a little while— now this’ll mostly be a game for you so just stare into my eyes.”

And so he did.

Din focused on the exchange of warmth between his hands and your neck, feeling how much smaller your neck was compared to his own hands. And focused on the feeling of your hands on his neck and— Maker, you were playing with hairs of his nape causing his eyes to roll bac— he snapped out of it and looked back into your eyes.

It was dark in hyperspace but there was just enough light from the stars to see them reflecting in your eyes. He could almost make out the patterns of your iris. He noted the way you had to peer up at him through your lashes due to your heights. 

He both hated and loved his helmet in this very moment. He understood what you had meant, your eyes held so much in them and he would spend hours trying to figure out each emotion in them if he could. But he was secretly grateful that you couldn’t see him staring at you like a Massiff stares at a Tusken Raider when getting attention.

It hurt something deep within himself to realize he could never give you the one thing you believed to be the cornerstone of love.

Din could swear is loyalty to you, keep you protected and safe, he could do everything in his power to give you a happy life.

But he could never let you look in his eyes.

There would be no loving gazes exchanged between you both, he could never look at you the way your father looked at your mother, he could never gaze into your eyes for hours until someone bent first and had the night end in a passion of your shared love.

And it was something Din couldn’t knowingly ask you to abandon.

”Okay,” you finally spoke, jarring him from the trance your eyes held him in. “Remember the size of my pupil.”

”Alright.”

A moment later you had closed your eyes. “Now the lighting isn’t ideal but the point of the game is to see if I fell in love with you after that. So when I open my eyes if my pupil gets bigger than it did before, I’m in love.”

He said nothing. 

You opened your eyes.

Din Djarin knew that this was just a silly kids game you played back home. He knew that this was terrible lighting. He knew that if you couldn’t connect with him through his eyes like you were taught and raised to believe then there was little hope that you could ever fall in love with him.

And yet… he could have sworn your pupils got just half a milimeter larger.

[ananashart]

No need for words

Word count: 1 400

TW: The grammar is dead

Content: Hurt/comfort? | angst | spoilers

This piece was born thank to a silly little discussion I have with @janitorhutcherson about what type of sport Mike would have played in middle and high school. Eng isn't my first language so I apologize for the mistakes 💀

You were more than familiar with Michael Schmidt. Having both your parents acquainted and living in the same little suburb would do that to you. Playing in each other's garden, climbing trees and chasing imaginary treasure maps. Through the years you had seen him developing a liking to sport, baseball in particular. The way his hazel eyes had lit when both of your fathers had dragged you to a baseball game was still perfectly inked in your mind.

Then, out of nowhere, little Garrett disappeared. You learned it from your parents, who themselves learned from Mike's one. It shocked you. How could that have happened? Being twelve years old, you had been warned many times about the danger lingering and hiding outside. But never could you have thought this was ever going to happen to you. Or someone you knew. All the time you had passed with the Schmidt brothers flashing in front of your eyes. For weeks, you hadn't had news from your friend. Weeks that soon turned into a whole month. You were worried sick, and the back and forth of the police car to the Schmidts house wasn't helping.

And one day, your parents sat you in the living room, dumping the news that Garrett wasn't going to ever be found. You had cried a lot that night. You couldn't start to imagine how Mike was possibly feeling across the street. That was why, the day he officially came back to school you dropped your backpack to your friends feet, not caring one bit about your stuff, to go and hug the boy.

You had tightly gripped his shirt, not ready to let go. You never once asked him how he felt, knowing he was more than likely going to get harassed by classmates and other professors about it. You just made it clear to him that you weren't going anywhere. You assured him that you were always going to be here for him.

You had witnessed first hand the life seeping away from his body. Not even baseball was appealing to him anymore. It was clear that healing would take a while. You were aware of that. Yet you couldn't help but blame yourself for not finding a way to relieve him from his pain.

And the sudden arrival of a new Schmidt didn't help at all. The fear of losing a sibling again had struck Mike head on. He had failed Garrett before, why would it be different this time? He wasn't ready to be an older sibling again. In all his panic, you were grateful. You knew it wasn't how you were supposed to feel, but he had come to you. Just like you would have gone to him. Within all the reshaping Garrett's abduction had done, it had never affected your relationship with the older Schmidt's brother. He had closed himself up to people, except to his inner circle that you were a part of. And this piece of information was making your gloomy day better.

After a few years, you were now in your last year of high school. Thankfully, Mike was doing better. He was enjoying life a little bit more, even though you knew he wasn't healed hundred percent. There wasn't a world where he could forget and forgive himself for what happened. But him wanting to play baseball again was a start you were more than happy to witness. You couldn't wait to go and see him play like you used to.

Both of you were closer than ever. Even though you weren't seen often together at school, people just knew there was no separating you. Everybody knew it, to the point that they were whispering in corridors and back of classes if you and Mike were only just friends. Ambiguity was lying between the two of you making every last one of you friends and classmates doubt your relationship. And even though you had silently decided to not address the matter at hand by pretending you didn't know, you both knew.

Of course something was going on between you two. It wasn't new. Electricity had grown during all this time you had known each other. Both of you were just a little too blind to see it at the beginning. It all eventually made sense one summer night. You were off school, walking aimlessly in your neighborhood in a comfortable silence. The small breeze was brushing through your loose hair, while your hand was brushing against his. Linked pinky soon shaped into intertwined hands as he walked you back home. None of you said a word that night. You knew each other perfectly, both satisfied with what you had. There was no need for words to cross your lips.

So you let the whispers run free in your school. You let people say whatever they wanted. Mike let his teammates teased and taunted him every time they would spot you at their training or official games. You let the rumors slide. Because there was no need to tell the world how it was between you. You were both already aware.

And it all went crashing down when Mike's mother passed away, soon followed by his father. He was alone again with a kid in charge and an awful greedy aunt in his shadow. Still living across the street, having your parents moved away, you had tried to be there for him, like you had promised. But again it seemed like whatever you would do was never enough to ease his mind. Working in the local bookstore, you had offered taking care of Abby for him. Suggestions that Mike had strongly disagreed with, saying you already had enough on your plate. Statement you both knew was false.

He was so stressed out, tired. You worry was back on track in a flash when he came into the bookstore buying a book about dreams and memories. The explanation he gave you did nothing to reassure you. His parents dying had opened an old wound you thought was partially healed. You saw the pills, the debts, the anger rising without knowing how to help. That went on for months until you took the matter into your hands.

Waiting on the small set of stairs in front of the Schmidts door house, twirling your keys, you saw Mike parked his car getting out. Standing up you walked the distance separating you. “Don't worry about Abby, my parents are here, she's with them.” You answered before he got the time to ask. “You're coming with me.” Again you didn't let him have the time to protest, taking his hands in yours, crossing the street to your car shoving him in the passenger seat.

The drive was silent, just like most of your walk were. Nothing had changed you guessed. After an hour or so, you parked into a rather empty parking lot. Getting out of the car, Mike could read “batting cages” lightened in neon color above the entrance of a building.

When you started your journey to the edifice, he followed hot on your heels. Inside you were greeted by the familiar sound of baseball being hit. While you paid for the most far away cage, Mike took in his surroundings. Memories were flooding back in his mind, stopping when you called for him.

Putting on the rented gloves he got inside the cage, muscle memory kicking in as soon as the first ball was sent his way. After two others hit, he knew why you had dragged him here. He needed to get his anxiousness and anger out. So he indulged. And it lasted for two hours. Two hours you spent sitting on the bench watching your neighbor and friend never missing a hit.

Getting out of the cage, he discarded the gloves sitting down next to you, taking the bottle of water you offered him. He was more relaxed now as he took a swing of the water, back against the wall behind you.

“How did we get here.” He almost whispered, putting the bottle down, never looking at you.

Next to him, you examined his features; the sweat rolling down his neck, his hair sticking to his forehead, the sad look in his hazel eyes. Turning your gaze back in front of you, you mimicked Mike leaning your back against the wall.

“I don't know.” was all you answered.

[holyhead-hufflepuff]

the great war

DRACO MALFOY X READER

"My hand was the one you reached for All throughout the Great War" - Taylor Swift

notes: this was an anon request for a third-person draco malfoy fic so enjoy!!

"HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED RETURNS." The headline forced witches and wizards everywhere to prepare for the inescapable; they had to make a choice. Muggleborns huddled in the corners of the wizarding world, hands shaking and voices hushed. They had to choose between the fight for their lives or the flight that'll cost them everything. Half-bloods everywhere sat in the kitchen as lights everywhere dimmed and debated their options; fight alongside a child, fight alongside evil, or turn the other cheek. Many closed their eyes in shame at the thought of choosing the latter. Could they turn their cheeks and wipe away the blood— the remorse of playing an 'innocent onlooker?' 

Then, some read the headline without internal conflict brewing in their hearts. Harry Potter knew his place; his fate was sealed by a prophecy, and he would carry the weight on his shoulders until the end. Ron Weasley was raised to know this was wrong; his loyalty to Harry, Hermione, and the cause would push him to see it through. Hermione Granger knew what would come of the world if she ran; her identity and belonging to both worlds would give her the courage to finish it.

Then there was Draco Malfoy. 

Draco Malfoy knew his place. His fate was sealed by a mark on his parents' arms. He was raised to know that you believe what's wrong if you want to survive. He only had one identity. He was a Malfoy. 

Death Eaters, his followers, had been conditioned and told to believe in Voldemort's return. Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Y/N Y/L/N, and many others saw the headline and knew what it meant. This was the start of the war they were told to be prepared for. This was the cause that they would lay down their lives for. There was no choice; this was what they were raised for. 

_ 

"Sometimes, when I lay in your arms, I imagine that we're entirely different people — that we won't have to turn into people we hate whenever he calls." It was a bold statement to say aloud, especially within Hogwart's walls, but y/n could feel that this was the last night. Y/N could feel the burn of their mark intensifying, the tension becoming palpable, and the guilt creeping into their soul. 

Draco was quiet, his arms tightening around y/n as their breathing quickened as more time sat between their thoughts and Draco's response. 

"I get it," Draco breathed out, breaking the silence and allowing himself to say what he'd been thinking for years. "I used to pretend I was someone else occasionally when I was a child. It's been more frequent since I got the mark. I'll lay awake while you sleep beside me and wonder how I'll beg for forgiveness from our future grandchildren." 

"Before they villainize us in textbooks, will they ask why we did it? Will they ask themselves why children were even used in the first place?" 

"No, but I ask myself that a lot." 

"Do you feel this is the last night we'll have, too?" 

"Yes." 

"I-I sometimes think that I can't go through with it." Y/N's voice shook as the words tumbled out, ugly and exposing the worst thought imaginable. To their family and to Voldemort, this was a thought of treason. To Draco, this was a thought of unbelievable bravery and stupidity. 

Draco pulled away from y/n, his face cold and unreadable. "Stop it. You can't say things like that — not here and not to me." 

"Why am I ready to die for a cause that I doubt? Why are you willing? I look at Potter and his little band of misfits whose chances are slim to none, and I wonder how their faith in the cause carries them through. They are laying their lives down for something they believe in, and we're-" 

"We're keeping ourselves and our families alive, y/n. My mum and dad are one more mistake away from losing their lives, and I refuse to be that mistake." 

"I know our circumstances are different, but I can't help but wonder if my parents wished they had made another choice. I look my dad in the eye and see fear. I don't see loyalty to the cause, and honestly, I don't see loyalty to-" 

"I call my you, my followers, and every dark creature that has pledged their loyalty to me. I call you to begin the attack against Hogwarts." 

The pain of their marks blinded them; for a moment, the two moved as one. They moved away from each other and towards their wands — in complete unison and with total devotion. The moment lasted less than a minute. Draco was propelled by his family, but y/n was hindered by hesitation. 

"I have to go, but we will see each other again. This is the last night before everything changes but not our last night together." Draco grabbed his mother's wand and looked back at y/n momentarily. "I love you." 

"I love you, but I'm sorry. I can't do this — Draco, I'm going to fight, but not alongside you." The words hung in the air; Draco and y/n were frozen in time as they shared a bittersweet look. 

"I love you," Draco repeated, his eyes glassy. Y/N would have thought it was a parting gift or goodbye, except for the genuine smile. "We will see each other again, and I will tell our grandchildren about how brave you were in this moment." 

With that, a sign of hope, Draco apparated. He wasn't sure if he could choose to be as defiant and brave, but for the first time in a long time, he felt rebellion fluttering in his heart. 

[plussizewritersworld]

Y/N sat in the great hall, she opened her Care For Magical Creatures book, studying for the upcoming exam involving Unicorns. It’s now her sixth year at Hogwarts and her goal was to master the class. She loved the creatures and loved being around them. As she was immersed in her book she didn’t realize the pair of eyes burning into her. Her first year when she was sorted into Hufflepuff she made her goal to excel in her studies and pass all her exams. If she wasn’t sorted into Hufflepuff she would have been sorted into Ravenclaw, that’s what her friends always tell her. She loves Hogwarts, she loved her friends, and she loved being in Hufflepuff. She loves love. She cared for everyone and always shows kindness and respect for anyone she meets even when the feelings aren’t mutual. That is why she was sorted into Hufflepuff, her warm heart.

Her kindness is also taken for granted. Ever since she was little. Y/N was raised by her Grandmother who is a muggle. Her parents were both killed by Death Eaters, her Grandmother took her in and taught her everything she needed to know about the wizardly world despit being a muggle. At the age of twelve she was given her letter from Hogwarts and ever since she has been following the footsteps of her parents who were both Hufflepuffs.

“Y/N…someone has had their eye on you.” It was Meri. Meri was the first friend she made at Hogwarts. The two girls were both scared little girls getting on the zhogwarts express. Y/N closed her book and turned around, she met the dark eyes of Marcus Flint. She turned back around and looked at her friend.

“He most likely wants me to do an assignment for him.” Y/N told her. At seventeen most girls her age were starting to take interest in boys. Y/N wasn’t an exception, she had her crushes, only the different between she and other girls were those crushes never shared the same feelings. She isn’t pretty, she isn’t small and petite like most girls her age. She was short, she was chubby, her hair was rarely ever done.

“I don’t think so. This look seems different.”

“And what look could he possibly giving me? We have never spoken to each other before, he’s pretty popular within his house, and also a year older.”

“Don’t forget to add rough around the edges…Slytherin, vile, rude…the list goes on.” Y/N looked down and smiled. “Well you must have done something to catch his attention.”

“I couldn’t imagine what I couldn’t have done…I do need to see Hagrid about my next exam.” Y/N stood up and picked up her book. “I will see you at the Quidditch match later?“ Y/N asked.

“I’ll save your seat.” Meri replied with a smile.

The Quidditch match was intense. Slytherin versus Hufflepuff. Normally Slytherin would easily be able to beat Hufflepuff, but not today. Marcus Flint wasn’t happy. He wasn’t understand why his teammate were letting these Hufflepuffs get past their every good play. He got angry, he started to get aggressive.

“Flint is ready to end this for good!“ Lee’s echoes throughout the field. Y/N wasn’t a fan of Quidditch, she didn’t like how violent and dangerous it got.

“We could win this!“ Meri shouted, y/N turned to her and nodded her head. The two girls were sitting in the front row, both being pushed against the railing as the crowd cheered. It was crazier than usual, usually their team would be losing,but because they are winning, it’s pure chaos. Y/N was being pushed forward, she started to get a little nervous, the thought of falling was something she wanted to think of but with everyone standing up and trying to fight for the front row. She looked out and saw that Flint was close to scoring, she was trying to back up but the more she tried, the worse she was getting pushed.

“Flint is about to score, can they block him?!” Was all she heard before s student behind her roughly nudged her, she lost her footing and fell forward. It happened so fast, she felt a hand try to reach for her, Meri. She felt her stomach drop as she began to fall. She closed her eyes and let out a scream. The impact to the ground never came, instead she landed in a pair of arms. She slowly opened her eyes, she was floating in the air. She instantly wrapped her arms around her rescuer's neck.

Marcus didn’t notice what was happening. He heard commotion but figured it was the crowd cheering. It wasn’t till he flew up and was about to score that he saw her dangling. He was close, he was close to scoring the winning point. He wasn’t going to lie, he thought about making the score. He shook his head, let out a growl, and quickly flew to her just in time.

The arena was silent.

“Bring her down Flint!“ It was the voice of Madam Hooch. Flint with one hand around her waist and the other on the broom, he flew down to the ground. She looked at him, tears in her eyes. He stared back at her, still holding her by the waist. Madam Hooch interrupted their moment by pulling Y/N off the broom and to her feet.

“T…thank you.” Y/N thanked Marcus, he didn’t reply.

“Good work Flint.” Madam Hooch added.

Y/N was embarrassed. She was scared to see anyone. Never bad that happened before and yet it happened to her. The whole school saw her almost fall to her death. She found herself most comfortable sitting in the courtyard. It was dinner time so there was no one there, or so she thought. She opened her book and began to read, continuing her studies of the Unicorns.

“That was quite a show.” A voice announced. She got startled and tossed her book in the air, thankfully the person caught it. “Very timid.” He joked. Marcus.

“I’m sorry…I…thank you for today…you saved my life.” She stood up to retrieve her book, when she went to reach for it, he placed it above his head. She looked up at him in confusion.

“I feel like I deserve more than just an apology.” He taunted. She didn’t like where this conversation was going.

“I…I am not sure what else-“

“You know exactly what I mean.”

“I need my book.” She replied. “Please.” She reached for the book which was in the air. He moved it away, causing her to fall into his chest. He looked down at her, he was attracted to her innocence, her naive thoughts on everything.

“I threw the match because of you.”

“It wasn’t my fault Marcus…I am grateful for you and yes you do deserve more than a simple thank you.” That’s what he wanted to hear, but that wasn’t what he was going to get. “I would love to treat you to a trip to Hogsmeade…write a paper for you-“ He knew he had to approach her differently, most girls would be giving in to him, she was going to be a challenge…Marcus never loses.

“Hogsmeade it is then, Saturday.” She nodded her head. He lowered the book and handed it out to her, she reached but he quickly grabbed her wrist. She looked at him, his grip was tight. He leaned his head down, his lips right beside her ear. “You are making the right choice.” He whispered.

It was Saturday and Y/N was dressed and ready to meet Marcus. She was nervous, she wasn’t sure what she had gotten herself into. She has heard many stories about Marcus, she never listened to any of them, never fed into the,, and never judged him for anything, she never talked to him before. She did believe one thing that what said, he can be cruel and vile. She has seen him in the act. He bullied other students, had a reputation for getting violent and physical. She didn’t mention to Meri or her other friends about the outing, so she decided to keep it to herself. She looked at herself in the long mirror. Her choice was a light blue plain dress, heavy stockings, brown small half length boots, and a dark brown trench coat. Her hair was down with loose curls and a beanie to keep her ears warm.

She was ready.

She loves Hogsmeade. All the shops, the people, the atmosphere, it was fun. She never imagined she would be here with Marcus, his hand holding hers while leading them through the crowds of people. She had to admit, holding his hand made her feel warm inside, it was larger than her own, and warm. He led her into Three broomsticks Inn. She has been there a couple times, she enjoys the shops more rather than the pubs. He took them to an empty table towards the back and the two sat down. Y/N looked around, she didn’t like that they were secluded, but she went along with it.

“What can I get you two?” It was an older woman, she eyed the two teens up. Y/N looked at Marcus.

“Two Butterbeers.” He told her, the woman nodded and left them alone. “Haven’t been here before?“ He asked Y/N.

“A couple times…a couple years ago.” She admitted. “I…I prefer the shops.” She answered.

“Hogs Head is better but uh…I don’t think that is your cup of tea.” She nodded her head agreeing. “I have been trying to figure out why I haven’t spoken to you before this.”

“I didn’t think you even knew I existed.” She admitted. Marcus knew she did, he knew exactly who she was, who her parents were. He knew he could control her, he knew he could be the one in control, which is what he liked, what he wanted.

“That’s a silly thing to think about love.” She looked down, it wasn’t silly. She knew it had nothing to do with her appearance. He wanted something. She doesn’t have any experience when it comes to dating but she wasn’t completely naive.

“I suppose so.” She looked at him and smiled. “I…no one has ever asked me to come here…other than my friends.” She explained.

“You mean as a date?” She nodded her head. “So I am your first.” The woman returned with two large glasses. Y/N slid hers close and took a sip.

After their drinks Marcus suggested walking around and looking at the shops. The one glass of Butterbeer was definitely enough to relax her. Marcus extended his arm out to her and she gently wrapped hers around. She had a smile plastered on her face, as they began their walk. She loved it, she loved seeing all the new items the stores had, the people, just the atmosphere. Marcus looked down at her. She was different then most of the girls he has dated. She was quiet, she didn’t cling, and she didn’t talk his ear off.

“Marcus look.” She took his hand and led him this time. Magical Menagerie, a pet shop for magical creatures. In the front display window we’re Kneazles, baby Kneazles. Y/N loves the creature and planned on buying one the moment she had enough money too. “Aren’t they adorable?” She looked up at him.

“Expensive.” Was his reply. She nodded her head agreeing.

“My grandma…she has been trying to save enough money for me to buy one…one day.” Y/N gently tapped the class. Marcus usually dated girls who were on an upper status, their families came from money like himself. Y/N was the opposite. She lives in the muggle world with just her grandmother.

“Come it’s getting late.” He ordered her, she nodded her head and the two made their way back to Hogwarts.

The two arrived back to the school, it was just about dark outside and starting to get cold.

“I had fun.” Y/N said. She meant it too, she thought today was going to go differently, but it was actually nice.

“I still think you owe something.” He smirked at her, she thought for a moment, what else could she possibly owe him? She went on the date and even paid.

“I…I am not sure what else I could do-“

“A date usually ends with a kiss.” He informed her.

“Oh…Marcus I had a great time , I really did but I don’t…I can’t.” She told him, she looked down, suddenly embarrassed.

“And why can’t you?” He was suddenly getting upset and she could sense that. That wasn't her intention.

“I just can’t…I really am sorry.” He suddenly snatched her wrist. She was taken back and tried to pull away but his grip was tight and pain full. She looked up at him, fear filled her eyes. Just what he wanted.

“You would be either severely injured or dead if it wasn’t for me…a simple kiss wouldn’t hurt you.” He growled.

“It’s not just a simple kiss…it’s my first kiss and I will not let just anyone take that away from me-“ She was cut off by his lips smashing into hers. He placed his hand on her waist to pull her closer into him. She tried to turn away but he released her wrist and cradled the one side of her face to keep her from facing away from him. His kiss deepened as she began to lose balance and fall into him. She closed her eyes, accepting what was happening, his warmth began to feel good against her, his cologne was intoxicating. He pulled away and looked down, her eyes still closed, like she was in a daze. This is what he liked to see, this is exactly what he wanted, and he wanted more. He wanted to see what else he could make her do, only he had to take his time, not be greedy.

“First kiss huh?” He teased. She opened her eyes, coming back to reality. “I would have never imagined.” She moved away from him and refused to look at him.

“Goodnight Marcus.” She wrapped her arms around herself and turned away.

“Good night.”

The next few days she made sure to avoid Marcus. She was angry with him, she was angry with herself. Once again she was taken advantage of and she allowed it to happen. She was sick of the treatment, she was sick of how vulnerable she could be. How vulnerable he made her. What was more upsetting was she couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss. The way he held her, the way he didn’t tease her for the way she felt, feeling his arm wrapped fully around her body. The way his lips taste, the way he pulled her into him, the way he could have gone further and she wouldn’t have stopped him.

“Y/N…if you want to master this creature I need your full attention.” The voice of Professor Hagrid invaded her thoughts. She turned to Professor Hagrid. Today he was allowing her to attempt to ride BuckBeak, his Hippogriff. She wasn’t fond of the idea of being in the air, but it was part of her studies.

“I apologize…I am ready.” She told him. Professor Hagrid handed her a piece of dead rat, the offering. BuckBeak instantly smelled the dead rodent, he lifted his head and took interest. She carefully approached, slowly and carefully. She leaned her body down into a bow position and placed the rodent In the air. She heard the footsteps of the creature coming towards her. Her hand remained completely still.

“That’s it…go ahead BuckBeak.” The Hippogriff sniffed her hand and within seconds snatched the rat. Y/N carefully lifted her head, BuckBeak was mimicking her, his head leaned down, she earned his trust. Y/N turned to Professor Hagrid who was clapping his hands and smiling. “Let’s take the ride.” He lifted Y/N up onto the Hippogriff and before Y/N could say anything she was galloping, holding onto the creature's neck. She closed her eyes as she felt him begin to flap his wings and descend into the air.

She was flying.

It wasn’t till she was back in the courtyard catching up studying that she realized she had made a mistake, only she didn’t know this. She was so immersed in her book that she didn’t realize till the book was ripped from hands and thrown onto the ground. She looked up in shock when Marcus was hovering over her.

“Avoiding me?” He spat.

“N…no I-“ He pulled her to her feet by her arm. “That hurts!” She shouted.

“Don’t lie to me!” He shouted back. The truth was he wanted to see her, he needed to see her but couldn’t find her. Ever since he kissed her, he couldn’t get her off his mind. He instantly felt regret when he saw her eyes fill with tears. He released her arm and stepped away from her.

“What is wrong with you?” She asked in a whisper. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He didn’t have an answer. “I…I was avoiding you.” She admitted.

“W…why?”

“You took advantage of me…you stole something that might mean nothing to you or others but means a lot to me.” The tears slowly rolled down her rosy cheeks. “What is worse is…I…I liked the kiss.”

“Why is that worse?” He felt offended.

“I know the type of person you are Marcus, all the rumors, I’ve seen you…I don’t want that.” He felt angry again, he felt angry because she was right. His reputation wasn’t the best.

“You believe those rumors?”

“You proved to me that maybe they are really true. The way you yell at me, grab me…you are a cruel person Marcus.”

“Is that really what you think? What if I said you were a weak Witch born from two weaker ones that couldn’t even fight against He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named? Huh? Had to live like a Muggle and pretend everyday that the world is a bloody rain of sunshine!” She looked up at him, not saying a word, just taking in everything he was shouting to her. “Maybe I should have let you fall.”

“If that’s what you think Marcus…then that’s fine.” She walked over to where her book was and picked it up. He quickly moved so that he was in front of her.

“It’s not fine, you and I both know that.”

“What does it matter? You hardly know me and I hardly know you. Whatever intentions you had…you can forget about it.”

“Yeah I had intentions, I admit that. The other night when I kissed you…seeing you so…the effect I had on you…I want more of that.” She wasn’t sure what to say, how to react, how to feel. “I want more of you.”

“You are going to hurt me.” He moved closer to her. “No…I have to go.” He gently reached for her hand but she moved away. “I have to go.” She repeated.

Y/N didn’t sleep at all, she couldn’t. Constantly tossing and turning. What did Marcus mean? Did he have feelings for her? Real feelings? She couldn’t understand the sudden interest. She got out of bed, unable to handle the restlessness. She knew what would help her. She snuck out of the common room and outside of the castle, she needed air, fresh air. It wasn’t till reached the whomping willow that she noticed a figure. She wanted to turn around, scared of who it could be, but then she recognized who it really was. The tall figure.

“Marcus?” She announced herself.

“W…what are you doing here?” He asked, startled.

“I…I couldn’t sleep.” She told him.

“Find somewhere else to go.” He was still upset with her. She looked down, she was upset with him too, but still she had to yearn to be near him. Ever since we kissed her.

“Why did you take interest in me Marcus?” He looked away.

“I love control and I knew I could get it from you. Your control.” She felt her heart drop. “When I kissed you, the face you made, the moment of I could dominate you and you couldn’t do anything about it.”

“That’s all this was? For you to tell me what to do?” Marcus shook his head no.

“You got it all wrong, love-“

“Do I? Marcus, what you are saying sounds absolutely mad. You can’t have control over someone like they are your pet.”

“I don’t want just someone. I want you. I want you.” He quickly approached her and wrapped his arms around her waist, this time she didn’t pull away. “I want your curves, I want your lips against mine, I want all of you.” He whispered. She was taken back. Marcus Flint told her all these things and she didn’t know what to do. She gently laid her hands on his chest. Her gentle touch gave him goosebumps. He wasn’t used to soft touches.

“What you want…I can’t.” She looked up at him.

“Just let me. Let me have you…emotionally and physically.” She shook her head no. This isn’t what she wanted, this wasn’t normal. She never thought Marcus was this kind of person, did he treat other girls like this? He placed his forehead against hers. She felt something, being in his arms like this, being so close to him, her brain was shouting at her to leave, to push him off you and leave. Your heart was telling you to give him a chance, see where this could lead. What was she supposed to do?

“What will happen?” She asked him. He pulled away and looked down at her. “I…is this a relationship?”

“It can be if that’s what you want. You will be mine.”

“If I agree to this…to being with you…what will it really mean?” She wanted to know what she would be getting herself into, she wanted to know she would be safe. He cupped her face gently, forcing her to look at him.

“It will mean you will do as I say, you will be by my side, you will be loyal to only me.” She gulped a bit. She placed her hands gently on top of his. “Just…just let me have you.” He sounded so desperate, so needy. Was it really him who held the power or was it her? She nodded her head. He let out a small sigh of relief.

“I’ll do it.” She told him, he leaned down and placed his lips on hers, pulling her closer into him while wrapping his arms around her. She closed her eyes and kissed him back, his eagerness made her nervous but at the same time it felt right.

There will be multiple parts to this story, I have so many ideas and I feel like I can create so much more:)