#imagine having the most beautiful amazing girl on earth looking into your eyes lovingly and you just stand there like a sim.

[livvyofthelake]

i do think there is something inherent to straight (?) actor men that makes them feel such a desire to play gay but it’s probably just the internalized patriarchy so we don’t have to unpack that. anyway the point of this post is that i know it’s all very haha funny when the actor men playing the guys in the gay ship are talking about the gay ship and perhaps cracking jokes about their characters being gay for each other. but i can tell you from lived real experience that i just knowwww behind the scenes of those actor men there is a director who did not in fact intend any homoerotic subtext whatsoever and is getting a little mad that their actors have decided to create it… behind every pair of guys joking about their characters being gay there’s a director who wants to strangle at least one of them because man your JOB here is to be in love with the beautiful woman i put in front of you is that so hard can you just do that very easy thing for me. oh you can’t. cool that’s awesome. i’m working overtime not to call you a homophobic slur btw. 😐😐😐😐😐

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

The Start of Something New

Steve Harrington x plus size reader

A new chapter awaits the Harringtons and they couldn’t be more excited to begin.

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy and childbirth, Steve being emotional and a bit of a shit at the end

WC: 769

Minors DNI

The soft glow of the lamp barely illuminates the room’s occupants, the sun having dipped below the horizon long ago. The echoes of the chaos from only a few hours before still bouncing off the yellow walls. Steve’s cheeks hurt from smiling but he couldn’t bring himself to care, not when, in this very moment, his life was absolutely perfect.

Eleanor Cora Harrington.

The most beautiful, perfect little girl to have ever existed. She was born on a Tuesday already being loved by so many. She came home on Thursday to a throng of people just waiting to meet her. And now as the dawn of Friday was just beginning to break, Steve couldn’t imagine anything more wonderful.

His daughter was nestled safely in his arms, little breaths escaping her lips as she slept. She was so small in his embrace, so little and delicate. It was hard to believe that she seemed so big while you were pregnant. Dipping down, Steve brushed her forehead with his nose, inhaling that new baby smell.

“I love you.” He whispered, willing himself not to cry as he swayed. “I’ve been waiting for you for so long, so has your mom. And your Uncle Dustin but he doesn’t matter right now. Cause it’s just you and me.” Ella, as she had been so lovingly dubbed by Robin, wiggled in his grasp, her little nose scrunching up like she was about to wake up, but then settled again. She had your eyes, your ears, and your nose. She was your little clone and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

She even huffed the same way you did when you were hungry and cranky. “That’s my girl.” He murmured, his brunette hair falling out of place as he looked down at his little bundle of joy. How on earth did he ever get so lucky?

“You can put her down, you know.” Your voice was soft, calling out from the doorway. Steve turned and smiled at you, dressed in one of his larger shirts, the material stretched tightly over your considerable frame. Shifting Eleanor into one arm, he reached out for you. You gingerly stepped over the threshold, still incredibly sore from the birth but not willing to miss this moment.

“I don’t want to put her down and have this all be a dream.” He said as you curled into his embrace, laying a hand atop your daughter’s swaddle, feeling the moment of her breaths beneath the blue fabric. “Oh Stevie.” His brown eyes glistened with tears. You cupped his cheek with your other hand, rubbing the apple of his cheek with your thumb. He sobbed, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

You held him as tight as you could, mindful of Ella between you, who let out a little squeak of disapproval as she was moved. “It’s ok baby, it’s alright.” You cooed, rocking your bodies in an attempt to calm him down. “We’re here, we’re real.” A faint orange glow began to fill the room but you never stopped holding your boyfriend.

Soon enough, his soft cries turned into hiccups against your throat, his tears wetting your shirt as his body stopped trembling. “Better?” You whispered into his silky hair, planting a kiss to the top of his head. You felt him nod against your skin before pulling away just far enough so your noses touched. His white skin was flushed and his brown eyes now bloodshot, but he was still the most beautiful man you had ever seen.

His lips met yours in a brief but incredibly loving kiss. “Thank you.” “You don’t need me to thank you for comforting you baby.” He shook his head, pressing forward to lean his forehead against your own.

“No, thank you for making me a father, for being this incredible woman who gave us the most amazing gift I could’ve ever asked for.” Your heart melted at the sincerity of his tone. You knew he had wanted to be a dad for so long and now that it was here, he was struggling to remember that his dreams did come true. Steve leaned into your touch but his eyes fell down to her.

Ella was awake and staring up at the pair of you. You knew her little eyes, still that newborn gray, couldn’t yet see that far but she seemed fixated on her dad. You smiled gently, stroking her adorably chubby cheek. “Look Stevie, she already loves you so much. Just like me.” 

Yeah it couldn’t get better than this.

“So when can we have the next one?”

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Life Goes On

Dakota x MC

Word Count: ~2,300

Now with Follow-Up, The Moments in Between

She doesn’t want to say anything, but eventually she has to. After all, they’re Prom Royalty tonight. There’s no way their absence from the Edenbrook Prom hasn’t been noticed by now.

“Should we head back down there?” Sage asks quietly, breaking the comfortable silence between the pair.

Dakota’s index finger momentarily pauses in its absent-minded tracing of stars, hearts, and what Sage surmises must be ghosts, based on the wavy lines at the bottom, on her bare back. He restarts the invisible drawings on her hip before he finally replies. “Honestly, I just want to stay up here with my incredible girlfriend. Let’s never leave this bed.”

Sage smiles, lifting her head from where it was tucked under his chin. “That offer would be much more appealing if this was a Queen instead of a hospital bed.”  

Dakota laughs, and Sage smiles at her unending ability to make him do that, further entwining her legs with his. She’s no longer worried about what the other prom attendees are thinking about their absence as the teens fall into another comfortable silence.

“That was amazing, Teach.” Dakota eventually says, his lips pressed gently against her forehead. “Thanks for taking that one off my bucket list.”

Sage looks up at him, placing a quick peck to his lips. “I was more than happy to help you get the full Senior Prom Night experience.” She admits when she pulls away.

Dakota smiles at her, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes. Her brow furrows. “What?”

“….This is probably the worst time to bring this up…..” Dakota begins before trailing off as he looks at her uncertainly.

“What, Dakota? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

His eyes dart to their scattered clothes on the sterile hospital floor before he’s able to meet her sincere gaze. “Can we….talk about death for a second?” Dakota asks.

His penetrating brown eyes bore into her own, and she can only nod.

“Lately, I’ve been thinking about death, a lot.” He begins.

“Why? Are you not feeling well? Do you need to go back to the ICU? Dakota! Why did you go to prom and risk your immune system if you weren’t feeling well?!” Sage asks frantically. She reaches down to the ground for her discarded dress. “I’m gonna find the oncologist…” She mutters distractedly.

“Hey, hey!” He firmly grips her shoulder, his grip firmer than it has been for months now. That calms her a little, and she lets him roll her back over to face him. “Slow down a minute, Sage. I feel…fine. It’s just, …who knows how I’ll feel tomorrow? Or the next day. And we haven’t really talked much about this, so…I don’t know…no time like the present?”

The frantic beating of her heart calms further at his assurances that he doesn’t feel unwell. “Okay, let’s talk about it.” She says, even though that’s the last thing she wants to talk about as she lies naked in his arms.  

“Okay. First off, I just want you to know I’m okay with dying. I had 19 good years, that’s more than a lot of people get. I have family and friends who love me.” He pauses here, leaning forward to place a lingering kiss to her lips. “I have you. That’s a pretty fulfilling life right there.”

“Dakota…” Sage whispers, voice already breaking.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m going to be okay. No matter what happens. But….I worry about what happens to everyone else after I’m gone.” Dakota admits.

“That’s so like you. Concerned about everyone else. You’re such a good person, Dakota.” The kind of person who should live to old age, the kind of person who makes the world a better place. Life can be so unfair, but Sage keeps that thought to herself.

“I can’t help but worry. A lot of marriages don’t survive the loss of a child, you know. My parents’ whole lives revolve around me. They upended everything to move to Boston to get me the best medical care. They left their friends, and family. I just…..don’t want them to stop living if I do. Does that make sense?”

Sage nods, intertwining her fingers with his under the thin hospital blanket.

“If I’m gone, will you check on them for me? Not, like, all the time or anything. But just….stop by to visit if you’re in town? I think it would help them, to see you achieve all the life landmarks I don’t get to. Graduating college, getting your first real job,…getting married….” Dakota trails off as tears well in her eyes. “Teach…..”

Sage shakes her head. “I’m okay.” Dakota looks unconvinced, so she forces a smile. “I promise I’m okay. And of course I’d visit, and call when I’m out of town.”

“Thank you.” He says with so much gratitude Sage almost bursts into tears immediately. “Alright, so the other people I worry about are Lennox and Mateo. We’ve been the three musketeers for so long, it wouldn’t be the same with just two. So, I’m gonna need you to keep the gang together.”

“Of course I’d still talk to your best friends Dakota. You don’t even have to ask that.” Sage admonishes.

“They’re your friends too now. Don’t forget that. And as their friend…..please don’t let them wallow in survivor’s guilt, okay? I don’t want them to feel guilty for getting to live in case I don’t. I’m honestly so happy that they’re better, that they’re healthy. Don’t let them forget that, alright?”

“Alright.” Sage parrots miserably. She didn’t know this conversation would be so hard. And if just talking about it is this hard, she can’t imagine actually living it. There’s no way she’s strong enough to do that.

“Okay, so that just leaves one more person I’m a little worried about.” Dakota continues. He brushes away a tear that’s sliding down her face toward his pillow. “You, Teach.”

“If you’re so worried, then don’t leave me.” Sage tries to joke, but now she’s full-on sobbing so it falls flat.

Dakota smiles softly anyway though, pressing another lingering kiss to her lips. She tries not to think about how many kisses, how much time, they have left. “I’m going to try my absolute hardest not to, beautiful…..but if I do….I want you to move on. I want you to get married, and have babies, and live your life to the absolute fullest. And I don’t want you to feel guilty about it for even a second, do you hear me?”

“How can you ask me to do that? Of course I would feel guilty. When I think about walking down the aisle, it’s you I’m picturing standing beside the priest. And when I think about starting a family, I picture a little girl with your eyes, or a baby boy with your smile. I can promise you I’ll settle for someone else if that’s what you want to hear, but I’m always going to love you. Present tense. Forever. And some guy would just have to settle for being second best. That wouldn’t be fair to him.”

Dakota smiles sadly. “You’re young. Right now, everything feels like it’s the end of the world. But ten years from now? You’ll barely remember me, Teach. Life goes on. You’ll love again. I know it. And I want you to.”

“You’re not forgettable Dakota. You’re extraordinary. You changed me, and even if you’re not here, even if life goes on, you’ll go on with me. I’ll think about you every day.” Sage swears.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Sage.” Dakota says, tone full of forced levity.

“I’m not.” Sage insists.

“That is something I worry about, you know. Something most people who are dying worry about. Being forgotten. Just…ceasing to exist, disappearing off the face of the Earth.” Dakota admits.

“That’s not going to happen to you. Me, your parents, Lennox, Mateo? We wouldn’t let you just…fade away. We love you. I love you. Present tense. Remember?”

Dakota smiles, and as usual, her heart flutters. “I love you too Sage. So much.”

“…can we talk about something happy now? I think I cried off all my makeup.” Sage rubs under her eyes, and that’s definitely smeared mascara coating her fingers.

“One more thing. I want to ask you for a favor.” Dakota adds.

“Name it.”

“Will you name your first born after me? A namesake, so I’m not forgotten?” Dakota asks. Sage can’t tell whether or not he’s joking.

“You don’t think my hypothetical baby daddy would have a problem with me naming our child after my late boyfriend? The love of my life who I still wouldn’t be over?” Sage counters.

Dakota shoots her an almost offended look. “Sage, you’re telling me a grown man, who is your husband, not baby daddy, in this scenario, is going to be threatened by your long dead high school boyfriend? You can do better.”

Sage laughs, and Dakota can’t help but join in.

Eventually their laughter dies down, and they just stare at each other lovingly in the dim light of the hospital room. “Alright, when you put it like that, I guess I can promise to name my firstborn after you.” Sage eventually promises.

Dakota lifts his pinky, and Sage rolls her eyes, but she pinky promises him anyway.

“Thank you. Now, we can get dressed and get back to prom before your mom comes looking for you.” Dakota concludes.

….

…

..

.

10 years later

Sage wakes to the shrill cry of her newborn through the baby monitor. She rubs at her eyes sleepily as she searches for her slippers in the dark bedroom. Her husband starts to stir. “I’ve got him.” Sage offers, and her husband dozes off again with a soft mutter of thanks.

Sage makes her way down the hall and reaches into her son’s crib. “What’s wrong Dakota? Hungry? Need a new diaper? Just want attention and hate when mommy gets a good night of sleep?” Sage asks, yawning as she comes to the end of her question.  

She shrugs one arm out of her nightgown and raises her son to her breast. He happily latches on, sipping greedily. “Ah, hungry.” Sage quips, gently running her free hand over the newborn’s mostly bald head.

Once he’s fed, Sage gently deposits Dakota back in his crib. She’s just started to swaddle him in his blanket when she’s startled by a pair of warm arms wrapping around her from behind. As her surprise abates, she leans back into her husband’s embrace. “I told you I had him.”

“I know. But I got lonely without you.” He admits, pressing a kiss to her neck.

Sage tssks. “So needy. You’re so used to having all my attention, but now you have to share with little Dakota here.”

Her husband reaches one arm into the crib, and the infant happily grips his father’s index finger. “If I have to share you, I’m glad it’s with DJ here.”

Sage’s brow furrows. “DJ?”

“Dakota Junior, or DJ. It’s going to get confusing having two Dakotas around here, so he needs a nickname.”

“What’s wrong with Little Dakota?” Sage asks.

“Babe, I doubt he’s gonna like being called ‘Little’ once he’s past ten.” Dakota insists.

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you made me promise to name my first born after you.” Sage teases.

“Hey, we both know I wasn’t expecting to be around.” Dakota retorts playfully.

Sage turns away to face Dakota, smiling as she drapes her arms around his neck. “Well, you can’t predict a medical miracle. Cancer didn’t stand a chance against you.”

“Don’t jinx me.” Dakota complains, but he’s obviously not that upset because he plants a kiss to her forehead.  

“Babe, you’re more likely to get struck by lightning then get cancer again after ten years of remission.” Sage insists.

“Still, better safe than sorry.” Dakota insists.

Sage rolls her eyes, but she obediently turns around and softly taps her fist against the wooden railing of their son’s crib, ‘knocking on wood’. Dakota can be so superstitious, but his many endearing qualities outweigh her annoyance with his superstitious ways.

The new parents both stare into the crib, watching the baby coo and gurgle. “He’s really something isn’t he?” Dakota breathes out softly.

“A miracle.” Sage adds.

“I could watch him all night.” Dakota insists.

“But you shouldn’t, because you have a big day tomorrow.” Sage reminds him.

“You mean we have a big day tomorrow.” Dakota corrects.

“It’s your movie. I’m just going to help with the casting.”  

“It’s our movie. I’d never be able to tell our love story without my muse.”

Sage smiles, rising up on her tip toes to press a gentle kiss to her husband’s lips. “A romance for the ages.” She whispers against his lips when she pulls away, just barely.

Dakota nods, tangling his fingers through her’s. “You’re everything to me. When I was sick, when things got hard, you gave me something to fight for.” Dakota insists softly.

Sage smiles, she never gets tired of hearing that. “I love you.”

“Not as much as I love you.” Dakota insists. He tugs her towards the door. “Come on, let’s go back to bed.”

Sage hesitates, looking into the crib. “I know they say we shouldn’t start bed sharing until Little Dakota is older……but how can anyone expect me to be away from him all night?”

Dakota smiles fondly. “Well, they let us take him home from the hospital, so we’re in charge now.” He makes his way over to the crib, resuming the swaddling.

“That’s too loose Dakota. Here, let me show you.” Sage demonstrates her perfect swaddling technique for her husband.

Dakota scoops up his little namesake when she’s done. “Got it. Thanks, Teach.”

….

…

.

A/N: With Every Heartbeat made me sad, so I choose to live in this Alternate Universe where Dakota Winchester makes a full recovery and he and Sage get the happy ending they deserve.

[mehphoobia]

You are beautiful

pairing - Tom Holland (actor) x Reader (college girl)

summary - Y/n is visiting her parents for the first time to Rio, whom she doesn’t know properly because they left her with her aunt when she was young. She is insecure about meeting her parents but she finds comfort in a stranger.

MASTERLIST

word count- 2.9k or around 3k

warnings - mentions of insecurity and self doubt, no swearing(cause its like my first post so gotta stay ‘pure’)

“Get up Y/N and Claudia…its 8 am already. We are going to be late.” a faint alarm could be heard from the kitchen, two rooms away from your room.

_______________________________________________________________

Your parents had been looking forward this vacation for months. With your father working in Rio for the past 7 years and your mother being a full time nurse at a nearby hospital in Rio where your parents lived, you never got a chance to feel how it felt to be with your parents. So naturally with no one to your care, you grew up with your Aunt Cass and your cousin Claudia, around whom your entire world revolved for the past 20 years.

________________________________________________________________

Grumpy, filled with laziness up to the brim Claudia dragged herself to your bed and tortured you to get up. “Just two more minutes. I swear”, you begged as if she was listening. Then came the final blow with a splash of water on your face and then well….its self-explanatory. You both got up, finished through the verbal fight which left Aunt Cass chuckling in the kitchen.

“Aren’t you a tad bit excited to go to Rio, it’s been years since your parents last spent time with you.” Asked Claudia looking at you expression-less face in the mirror while brushing your teeth. “I don’t know Cloud, it’s just that I don’t know how I should feel about it. I am nervous and scared and tired just thinking about how awkward it can get.”

________________________________________________________________

Your parents had last seen you on your 16th birthday, when they showed up at your house. The 16th year where you are neither an adult nor a child, of all those years they could have shown up, it was that year. Your mother had gifted you a manicure set and your father had bought you a hair kit and you absolutely had no idea what to do with it. Little did they know that you were more interested in trekking and photography rather than painting your nails and dyeing your hair? Where other girls chose tight fitting dresses and expensive heels you chose the comfort of sweatshirts: pajamas or jeans and sneakers.

_______________________________________________________________

“You will be fine, it’s YOU after all. If I can tolerate you enough to share my room with you then trust me, anyone can put up with you” said Claudia boasting her patience and handing a comb from her dresser. “Why don’t you curse or compliment me one at a time” you snapped annoyingly. But you were grateful for supportive arms around you which calmed you down.

After getting ready, you greeted Aunt Cass with a smile on your face and a stretched good morning as you helped yourself with some toast and orange juice. “Eat well, it’s a long flight after all” said Aunt Cass followed by a “Yes ma’am.”

“Keep your phone charged at all times. Keep calling me after every two hours and did you pack enough clothes to last you a month. I don’t want to hear your mother complaining later about it. Should I pack some extra snacks for you, you will surely not take care for meals and if you skip any your meals throughout the day, I swear you have had it then.” It never ceased to amaze you how multitasking Aunt Cass could be. She is strict, tough and a woman of her words. There was not a single day when you and Claudia had not done your college assignments or homework with Aunt Cass being at home. But at the same time she would sit with you past midnight when both of you cousins stayed awake for you midterms. Maybe that’s why you never missed your parents because you never had a void in your life, Claudia and Aunt Cass had filled it lovingly.

That being said, before you knew it all three of you were in the car and already off for the airport. The entire ride was filled with constant chattering as to how famous and beautiful Rio is and as how will not be able to walk down a street without bumping into a celebrity. However you were lost in your thoughts about living with your parents for a month, about whom you knew nothing and neither did they about you.

After reaching the Leipzig Airport, you waved them goodbye, leaving the loving and proud embrace of Aunt Cass and a cute envious look on Claudia’s face you were all set for Rio.

During the flight:

It was a 15hr flight, with the overthinking and hyperactive person you were there was no possible way you could have had a simple excited flight journey, but there is no harm in wishing one for right? Or so you thought.

When you were boarding the plane you noticed an unusual number of bodyguards outside, literally engulfing the poor person standing in middle. What annoyed you the most was the people who were cheering, because at some point of time it wasn’t cheering anymore, it was a mob attack. After boarding, what greeted you were the over excited air-hostesses which was obviously because ‘the person’ as you painfully learnt through the mob attack. But all you could care at that moment was your seat being a window seat or not, and luckily it was. After putting your hand luggage in the upper compartment (you had three suitcases and one hand luggage) you finally asked a fellow passenger dressed in black hoodie with a mask on his face and skinny jeans as to what exactly was the commotion about and to brief you about the situation. The answer surprised you- it was none other than Tom Holland.

Your mouth was literally in the O shape and eyes wide open. It was the Tom Holland. It was your favorite actor travelling in the same flight with you. That explained the mob attack. The only person that came to you upper floor was your Claudia.

Y/N: TOM HOLLAND is in the flight right now!!!!!! Tom freaking Holland.

Claudia: wwwwhhhhaaatttt!!!???????, damn I knew I should have gone with you. How could you do this to me? Why?

Y/N: I am sorry ok I didn’t know or wait maybe I did. His visit to Leipzig was mentioned in his itinary on his twitter account how could we miss that? We just got lucky man and also I was squashed in the mob attack at the airport.

Claudia: Oh! You mean you got lucky dipshit!? Please tell me you got a picture!

Y/N: no I couldn’t, I hardly knew about him being on the plane I asked someone and I have been freaking out since.

*announcement for switching off electrical devices.*

Y/N: I have to switch off my phone for a while, the flight’s gonna take off.

Claudia: okay, I knew I should have come with you. Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!text me soon..love you

Y/N: yeah you should have, I miss you. Love you too.

“Are you a fan too?” asked your neighbor. You look at him with suspicious eyes was he eying your texts? Because if he was, that’s not healthy and it creeped you out.  Even though, “well yes, me and my sister.” You said and hoped the conversation will die out there. He took the answer and you could imagine a small smirk curling upon his face by the wrinkling of his eyes which was adorable. By his physique and posture he looked no older than early twenties. “What about you, are you fan?” you asked, unknowingly and regretted it immediately. “He doesn’t bugger me, so you could say so. How long have you been a fan?” ,“My aunt happened to be watching ‘The Impossible’, when we were younger and we have been crazy about him since. My sister liked him like crazy as to how cute he was but I liked his acting in the movie but ended up liking him too.”

“Very interesting..” something about him was attracting you, maybe his aura, the charming vibes, you didn’t know, but you were just attracted. But something pinned you, his accent, he had a British accent. Unknowingly, when your eyes met, your heart skipped a beat. It’s him. He was sitting right here. He realized your surprised expression and said, ”You can take a picture now” he chuckled and looking directly at you. Your brain on the other hand was still processing the vital information and the very awesome physique with veiny and beautiful hands and captivating eyes. How could you miss his eyes, those beautiful passion filled dark brown eyes.

“uh..um..h hi, I mean hello nice to meet you, I am Y/N”, ”Tom Holland” he said extending a hand not taking his eyes off of you. It amazed you really, how could he despite being an actor maintain such a down to earth personality. The way he talks, listens to you, waits for your reply and him being in the economy class instead of comfortably sitting in the first class seating arrangements. Wait!?Why was he here?. As if he read your mind and a sudden change in your expression from being flustered to confused. “Too many people, I needed to get out of there and breathe by myself for once. No cameras, no media, no stylists….jus… just plain old me. By the way, my manager is my imposter”, he said with a smirk on his face.

“Oh sure, I can understand that, it can get tiring sometimes. The attention being forced on you that you were never used to it. My parents too, in that way, been out of my life since the very year I turned 1 and suddenly they want meet me and want me to stay with them for a month in Rio. I didn’t want to but my aunt convinced me and I couldn’t say no to her. ”, ”You stayed with your aunt your entire life? Didn’t you miss your parents?” his passionate eyes suddenly changed into concern and pity, “yeah, but she means a lot to me, she was there for all my dance ceremonies, each and every one of my birthday’s , my graduation, she means the world to me so does my sister, she is like my pillar, my support , an annoying one at that.” You said smiling on you lap, and you could feel his gaze softening upon yours. ”my parents, uhh…you can never miss something you never had.” You looked at him again, but this time you could feel and see his gaze on you, watching you and never leaving your eyes.

Both you were so lost in each other that you didn’t realize when the flight had taken off and the snacks table breaking your moment. “Oh it’s been so long already since the plane took off, I didn’t realize we even missed the safety instructions”, you both chuckled at that. “Oh man!, you are really beautiful, really” he said running his hand down his locks and realizing that his tone was a bit too loud, and he meant to keep the compliment to himself. “Sorry?” you asked, despite you pretty much heard it when he said it, you wanted to hear it again.

“uhh..i m..mean your teeth are beautiful.” He realized what he said and his expression was like ‘did I really just say that?’. “I mean your smile is beautiful, Not your teeth..oh wait..I mean your teeth are beautiful too but your smi…” you couldn’t hold you laugh anymore looking at him and his cute ‘war’ with himself. “Thank you, I guess, a lot of people say that about me after I got my braces removed.”

“Oh you had braces? Since when?” “around when I was 15, like every girl wanted to look pretty and wanted boys around her ,so me and my sister had braces for the sake of it, not that I cared about me getting a boyfriend, just for fun”. He seemed to have got stuck on one word, “so you got one?”…”got what?” , “a boyfriend I mean?”. His expression changed and yet again you could feel blood rushing to your cheeks, “I always wanted a crazy guy, who could have something similar to my interests, ‘cause I am not like every other girl in the town, I am into trekking and photography and outdoor activities, not just a girl who likes shopping and who always has to be around people so, my specifications are a bit particular, so I have never had a boyfriend.”

“So, no boyfriend, right?” he asked as if that being the only part he was interested in, or who knows may be he actually was.

After a few hours, you realized you had a lot of things in common and the internet was all wrong about his interests and all. It was like meeting a complete different person, a person whom you have known for the longest time as if you have always been together. You were attracted to him and so was he to you, and you could tell that.

“So what are you doing in Germany? Did you have a shoot here?” you didn’t mind asking because he already had mentioned a lot of stuff that he was not supposed to and also his eyes lit up when he was excited to tell you about some stuff anything at all. “uh..yeah we had to film a segment in Berlin and then we decided to take a break, so I around different places and now we are heading towards the Carnival.” “oh Carnival huh? My aunt says its pretty lively. That was like the main reason why I agreed to go Rio. ”

“so don’t mind me asking, but are you going to be awkward around your parents? Like I know you are not very close to them..” he asked you sincerely concerned with his hands slightly brushing off of yours on the handle of the seat. It’s like he wanted to hold your hand because he knew the weight of his question but he felt like you would disintegerate if he did so. You could feel the same pit around your stomach filled with nervousness that you had forgotten about a for couple hours. “I don’t know, it’s complicated, I don’t know anything about them and also they might have certain expectations about me and what do I do if I do not live up to it. I know we haven’t had a very comfortable story build around us but somehow I don’t wanna disappoint them from my side because they don’t know anything about me like the birthday incident I mentioned about. But I simply don’t want to disappoint because I don’t want my mother, who was never there for me, to question my aunt, who has always been there for me” It’s like you pour the entire timeline of your life in front of  Tom and you were scared if he would drift away. “I understand Y/N, but your parents were the ones who planned this trip right?” “yeah they were the ones.” “so that’s it, you know when I have too much on my plate, my manager asks me to take a break and let everything go for sometime. All my meetings and appointments are cancelled because I will ruin them anyway, so there is no point of it. Your situation is kind of similar too, you have had a lot in your life with you parents not being there and now you simply just have to take a break and forget everything for a while because that’s what your aunt wants to you to do.” His hand finally rested upon yours and none of you flinched. It’s as if it’s meant to be.

That being said, you have already arrived in Rio and a beautiful ocean greeted you with open arms and you accepted it with a fresh mind. Tom’s hand still resting over yours and his fingers brushing the upper part of your hand and you look at each other embracing each other’s warmth with your eyes. That’s when you realized that you have fallen for him, not Tom Holland but just him, just Tom.

After the plane landed he was still holding on to you, scared to let go. He was scared to let you go because he cared about you and some fact had gotten him attracted towards you and he was scared to show you his vulnerable side. On the other hand you were scared to let go because you might never see him again. As if he sensed it again, what you were thinking, “I will see you again for sure. Don’t worry.” With a tight squeeze on his hand you let go and say “thank you, I will wait for you.”

“me too.”

You didn’t see him again after departing the flight, he would steal glances out of every opportunity to see you ,lost between the flashes of cameras and cheering, till the last second. The last time you saw him was to murmur something to his manager pointing towards you and that was it, the escalator distanced him from you. But you would still wait..

Outside the gate you could see your parents waiting for you, with Tom’s words in your mind you greeted them with a smile and everything seemed normal, as if they were always with you.

Two weeks later, still no message from Tom.

Claudia bombarded you with messages, when you told her about the entire duration of the flight. You were kind of annoyed with messages cause they were literally somewhere is hundreds. So you decided to ignore her for sometime.

*Ting* some part of you wanted to check that message but the other part of you wanted to go eat pizza because you were really tired from messaging and explaining everything to Claudia over texts. But then you were like *screw it* and you checked the message and…

*unknown number*: I said you were really beautiful Y/N….

A/n- uh..first of all thank you for reading this, cause it like my first post and my first fanfiction so i was a bit skeptical about posting this but fuck it, here it is guys it took me around four hours to complete this and its worth it. 

also if you wanna be tagged in this just let me know!!! *uwu face*

lemme know if you want a part 2 of this, because I will gladly include it with improvement of course, love you ppl...

[xconcernedfluffymothx]

Other friends except you’re there and Spinel makes out with you halfway through the song

@spinel-imagines @gliderbudgie

So....You made up an idea for a story spinel-imagines, and gliderbudgie created it through a drawing. (Which was amazing as hell-)

So now what I'm about to do, is write this ish.

Yup, I'm writing it. And you're gonna freaking enjoy it. 😂😂

Extra: Soulmate Au~

---

Gems.

A fuchsia gem. Floating about in a heart pattern.

Nothing but that as a dream for weeks. It's been frequent in your thoughts as well, the bright glow captivating you. Its graceful movements, the switch between slow and fast blinks, like a song rhythm.

You've asked around, hoping that your universal friends might have an answer to this weird phenomenon. Garnet suggested that maybe it had something to do with your other half.

Which made some sense...Since you've been having this empty feeling most of your life. Like something's missing, a puzzle piece that hasn't been found yet to make the picture complete.

You sigh, 'Maybe I should just go take another nap...' Yeah, a nap would be great right now. Your whole body feels as if it's about to drop any moment, and your stomach feeling strangely fluttery....

You announce your leave and head to your room, mind blank as you open the door and close it, flopping on the bed and going into a deep slumber immediately.

...

The dream is different this time. Something seemed....off.

The aura was duller, and you struggled to see the pretty light you were always in awe of. You move your gaze around some more, until a flash caught your attention.

A heart. A crystal heart with the same beautiful color you adored so much. It glowed brightly, seeming to beam radiantly with happiness. You reach your hand out to touch it, a strong urge telling you to do so. And as you did, it flashed once more, the happy arua leaving immediately, poofed away. The heart now turning into a duller color of what it once was, the beautiful gem turning upside down. A snap sounded behind you-

Your eyes flared open. Your heart rate immensely accelerated. You breathe in deeply to calm yourself. The dream itself wasn't scary, it wasn't scary at all.... the heart made you feel...whole.

Something you've never felt before.

It was nice.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnggggg-"

Hmm? Who's calling?

You pick your phone up, the caller being Amethyst. You hit the answer button, shifting a little to put the phone between your shoulder and ear. "..Hello?"

"Y/n!! Finally you pick up!!"

You flinch at her loudness. "Uh, sorry, I was asleep. "

"We need your help, Now!!" An explosion sounded in the background. You get up off your bed and into the living room. "Where?!" You hurriedly put shoes on, tying your hair in a ponytail as she listed the destination. "Ok, hurry soo-"

The line cut off. You grumble, shutting your phone off as you set out to help your friends.

When you got there, you could clearly see a huge machine of some sort digging into the ground. It looked familiar, like something Steven showed you..

Running up the hill, you try to catch your breath.

Key word, tried.

Steven was on the ground, this pink alien girl being looming over him. You run some more and stop about four feet away, you can't let Steven get hurt!! "Leave him alone!"

The pink girl paused, seeming like she was in the middle of saying something when you interrupted. Time seemed to slow as she looks up at you with Fuchsia eyes.

Fuchsia...

Fuchsia Gem.

She had one on her chest.

One that looked really familiar.

You didn't notice as Steven yelled at you, "No, Y/n!!!" You didn't notice as the girl stomped right in front of you, her nose barely grazing yours. She seemed to be sneering down at you, eyes completely trained on yours. Her hot breath hitting you in the face softly. You stare with a whole new feeling. The feeling you felt when you woke up from your dream earlier.... whole.

The color, the aura, the signs-

It clicked.

She's......she's your second half.

'Oh my gosh.' You blush, the now admittedly-attractive gem having the same reaction. Her face going a deeper shade of what her face is. She seemed to realize too. That you two had a connection. Her eyes trail down to your mouth, your breath hitching as a gloved hand gently lands on your shoulder. You stare her in the eyes again, heart beating wildly as her hand comes to cup your chin lovingly.

You lean in, eyes fluttering closed as your mouths closed the small gap between you two. Arms slinked around your waist in a hold to pull you closer. You wrap your arms around her neck, your lips moving in sync.

Amethyst was screeching in the background.

"She's giving Spinel quite the earth greeting!!!"

..Spinel? Is that her name?

CUTEEEEE!!!

Spinel whines at the laughing, tugging you closer to her body as she breaks the kiss for air. You flush heavily, smiling up at her. She smiles back, pecking you on the lips. You giggle at the affection.

You felt like a five year old on a sugar high. Everything was right, and the empty feeling dissapeared. You had your other half!!

She pets your hair, a purring sound coming from her, causing you to relax. "I'm Y/n, by the way" You said, realizing you two just met, and already were eating each others faces. Heh....

She chuckles, holding your hand and kissing the back of it, winking. "Name's Spinel, Doll~" You blush at the gesture and nickname, and take her hand, kissing the palm of it in return.

She blushed, smirking a bit as she presses her lips against yours in another passionate kiss, one hand holding yours, the other cradling your head.

---

The trouble has been resolved. The injector was destroyed. And everyone headed home. You went to the beach, holding hands with Spinel.

Spinel loved to hold your hands, they were warm, they reasurred her that this was real. She wasn't sure why, but that day she had a weird feeling, she felt as if something big would happen. Not to mention the Injector, no, she didnt think she'd ever meet her soulmate.

You.

So perfect, so beautiful, so kind...

Everything about you just made her melt.

Your smile and blushing face...

Ugh, she could just squish you right now!!

You feel Spinel's arms wrap around your body, causing you to stop walking as she squished you up against her, nuzzling your cheek. You hug back and peck her nose, loving the way her cute face flushed.

She booped your nose, grinning. "Stop being so cute!!~ You Jellybean"

You stick your tongue out playfully and giggle. "Nuh-uh, you stop being cute!! "

Spinel laughs giddily, nuzzling her face into your neck, "Hehehe!! I'm not the ADORABLE one here, Darling"

You go quiet and fluster at the name, sputtering a little bit. Spinel found this absolutely adorable, a smug smile on her lips as she coos, leaving kisses all over your face.

You blush more, "noooooo sttaaahhhhhp~" You whine, hiding your face with your hands.

"Heh, Cute"

"HNNNNNN-"

Notes: I definitely dragged that out longer than needed, but oh well. I felt like it 👌😂

[voyager-into-the-unknown]

Plance Secret Santa Fic for Nadia

Moonlight

After months of space travel, the team had been fortunate enough to find an uninhabited Earth-like planet to land upon and make camp while their lions recharged. Pidge had gathered data on the environment and determined that the air was breathable and the water was safe to drink.

Lance tossed and turned on his thin camp mattress, unable to sleep. His mind was preoccupied with thoughts of his fellow teammate for whom he had developed some very strong feelings, and he wondered how long he could keep his feelings a secret. She was always foremost in his thoughts all day, and apparently all night as well. This particular night was quite warm, too warm to wear his his Paladin pajamas. He had gone to bed wearing only a pair of blue boxers and a white T-shirt. Hunk was asleep, snoring just loud enough to distract him. Silently, Lance had crept out of the tent he shared with Hunk and laid out his mattress, pillow, and light blanket under the starlit sky, hoping that the night air would be cool enough to help him sleep. He had no such luck. He tossed and turned even more, then finally settled upon counting the unfamiliar stars and naming the new constellations that he had imagined when gazing at the night sky, but to no avail. He still couldn’t fall asleep. Thinking of the nearby lake with it’s cold, clean water, he made up his mind: it was time for a late night swim.

He quietly entered the tent to grab a towel from his supplies, then put on his sneakers. The lake was only a short walk from the Paladins’ camp. When he arrived at the shore, he hung up his towel on a low hanging tree limb, took off his shoes, and removed his T-shirt, then hung it up next to his towel. Just as he was considering removing his shorts to bathe, he heard a sound. Something was moving in the water. He froze, realizing that he had forgotten his Bayard back at the camp. If some dangerous creature lurked in the dark water before him, he had no way to defend himself!

Lance’s view was obscured by the reeds that grew along the lakeshore, but as he moved silently through the shadows he found a break in the barrier of reeds a bit farther along the shore. The tranquil surface of the lake was broken by a slim figure of someone who had just emerged from the depths. A mermaid? No, he wouldn’t be lucky enough to meet one of those again. The figure turned to one side, and he saw a lovely silhouette in the moonlight. Definitely female, but with only a subtle hint of feminine curves. She had a bosom, but she definitely wasn’t buxom enough to be Allura or Romelle. She wasn’t naked, but seemed to be wearing some type of green sports bra and briefs, and her skin was pale by the light of the planet’s single moon. He just stood there, transfixed by her graceful movements through the water. His breathing quickened. She was so beautiful he couldn’t stop staring at her.

“Who’s there?” asked a familiar voice. It was Pidge! Lance began to panic. Pidge would kill him if she knew he had been spying on her while she went for a midnight swim in her underwear. He should have fled, but it was too late. She was swimming toward him, and suddenly stopped several feet from the shore.

“Lance? What are you doing here?” She sounded rather upset.

“Uh, hi. I was just going for a late night swim.” He hoped it was dark enough to hide how much he was blushing.

“You shouldn’t be here!” she hissed angrily.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not dressed!” She had stayed far enough from shore that only her head and shoulders were above the waterline.

“I’m not either. Anyway, I’ve already seen you swimming in your underwear, so it’s only fair that you see me swimming in mine.” He waded toward her until he was as deep into the water as she was. “What are you doing out here in the middle of the night anyway? It could be dangerous.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” she admitted.

“Me, too. It’s too hot and Hunk snores louder than howling bogbeast.”

She giggled. He swam closer to her, and she backed away from him a little. “Lance, it’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that this is a bit...awkward.” He hair was slicked back, and she wasn’t wearing her glasses. Even by the dim light of the full moon he could see that her cheeks were very flushed. Lance couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

“You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about, Pidge. You’ve got a really cute figure,” he blurted out, saying the first thing that came to mind.

“Oh, so you have finally realized that I’m a girl and you’re going to start flirting with me now?”

“I am a connoisseur of female beauty, Pidge. I can say with great sincerity that you are as beautiful as a mermaid and as entrancing as a naiad.”

“Don’t you mean as entrancing as a siren? Anyway, since I am the Paladin of the Green Lion, shouldn’t I be a dryad instead of a naiad?”

“You know your mythology, don’t you?” He grinned at her.

“So do you, apparently.”

“I passed the time by reading a lot of myths, legends, and fairytales when I was a kid.”

“Then you know what happened to Actaeon.”

“Yeah,” he said dreamily. “He was spying on the beautiful virgin goddess Artemis in all her naked glory while she bathed in a stream.” He waggled his eyebrows and smirked at her with a devilish glint in his eye.

Pidge’s face was red, both with anger and embarrassment. She glared at him. “You know Artemis was so enraged at Actaeon for being such a perverted Peeping Tom that she turned him into a stag.”

“Well, I guess he couldn’t resist the beauty of a naked maiden, so the goddess punished him with antlers for being so horny.” He laughed at his own joke.

Pidge rolled her eyes. “You’re lucky I don’t have my Bayard with me.” She swam away from him. Lance took that as a challenge and swam after her.

She stopped in the center of the small lake, and floated on her back. He caught up to her and floated beside her. For a long time they just drifted side by side beneath the starry night sky, at peace with the luminous glories of the universe reflected in the still, dark water of the lake. For a moment, there was no war, no empire, no genocide, no fear, no death. There was only the lake and the forest and the two young people, far from home, but not alone. Never alone. They had each other. They always had each other, Lance realized.

It was strangely quiet in the woods that night. On Earth there might have been the sound of nocturnal animals or insects in the darkness, but here there was a stillness in the air, a silence broken only by their voices.

“I’m sorry if I offended you,” Lance said softly. “I honestly didn’t mean to spy on you. I didn’t even know you were out here when I decided to go for a swim.”

“I’m not offended, not really,” Pidge replied. “I’m just not used to it.”

“Not used to what?”

“Being looked at that way.” Clearly, she was still embarrassed. Pidge certainly could have passed for a young boy when Lance first met her, but not anymore. She could no longer hide the fact that she was growing up to be a very attractive female.

“Pidge, you know how much I love enjoy giving compliments to beautiful women.”

“You normally flirt with all the pretty girls you meet even if you barely even know them. This is different.”

“Because we’re best friends?” he asked.

“That’s one reason, but there’s more to it than that.”

He swam upright, gazing at her scantily clad form in the moonlight. She then turned herself upright, hiding most of her exposed body in the water. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Stop doing that!” She seemed more frightened than angry.

“Stop doing what?”

“Stop looking at me that way!”

“Why? What are you afraid of?” He gazed at her lovingly, with such a gentle expression that she looked down, too embarrassed to meet his gaze.

“I’m not Allura,” Pidge said, with her eyes downcast.

“I never said you were.”

“I thought you had a crush on her.” She looked up at him accusingly.

“Not anymore. Anyway, she doesn’t like me that way.”

“Oh, so now you’re going to flirt with me because every other girl in the Universe has turned you down?”

“Hey!” Lance looked offended. “That’s just mean, Pidge. Being rejected all the time really hurts, you know. I am not some Casanova who just loves women and leaves them. I just want a certain someone to be my girlfriend, with the intention that someday she’ll be my wife. I want to be in a real, committed relationship with this particular young lady, but I’ve been so afraid of rejection that I have never told her what she means to me, so I wasted a lot of time, flirting with girls that didn’t really matter to me, while trying to work up the courage to tell the girl I really care about what she means to me. I’m serious about this, and about her. The truth is, I’m really just a hopeless romantic,” he said with fervor. “Or maybe just hopeless,” he added sadly.

“I’m sorry. What I said was a bit harsh. I am just trying to protect myself.”

“From me?” Lance asked. He was looking at her apologetically.

“From getting my heart broken.” She looked so small and fragile when she said those words that Lance was silent for a moment, allowing himself to fully comprehend her meaning.

“It’s going to take every bit of whatever courage I have to say this, Pidge, but if you like me that way, then you have nothing to fear. You are one of the people that I care about the most in the entire Universe, and if you feel the same way, you will make me the happiest man alive.”

“You really mean that?” Her lower lip trembled and her eyes welled up with tears.

Lance’s voice cracked a little when he replied. “Yes. I love you, Pidge. I’ve loved you for all of these years that we have been in space together, and I have finally been able to admit to myself that I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. I think you are the most amazing girl that I have ever met.” Overwhelmed by his own feelings, he tried not to cry, but he did in spite of his best efforts to hold back tears.

Her own tears slid silently down her cheeks in the moonlight. He touched her face, gently wiping them away. “I love you too,” she said, her voice quivering. “You—you’re the only one that I’ve ever—“

Lance didn’t hear what she was going to say next. He stopped her trembling lips with a kiss as he clasped her to him, his arms wrapped around her waist. He felt her arms stiffen against his chest and then relax as she wrapped them around his neck. She pulled him towards her so he could deepen the kiss. Lance was overwhelmed with desire for her, and he kissed her with all of the passion he had kept hidden for so long. Pidge was trembling, perhaps from fear or from the cold lake water or both. Lance didn’t hold back. He continued kissing her with so much intensity that he began to frighten her as well as himself. Then he pulled away, breaking the kiss, leaving both of them gasping for breath. “I love you, Katie Holt,” he said softly, his words reverberating through the still night air.

Wide-eyed, she looked up at him and said, “I love you, too.” She hugged him, and he held her a long time as she trembled in his arms. “Lance, you are the only person that I have ever felt this way about. Please, please don’t break my heart.”

“Never. I am yours forever if that’s what you want. I promise, I will never, ever hurt you. I adore you.” He kissed her forehead. “You’re cold. Maybe we should get out of the water.” She nodded, shivering.

He followed her as she swam towards the shore to where she had left her towel, shoes, pajamas, and a change of underwear.

“Apparently you think of everything. I’m going to be walking back to camp in soggy boxer shorts.”

Pidge laughed at him. “I would like some privacy to change, please.” She had grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her torso as soon as they had reached the shore.

“Okay. My stuff is down there.” He pointed to the tree where his shirt and towel were hanging. “I’ll wait for you. We can walk back together.”

“Whatever you say, Loverboy. I guess you finally have a girlfriend now.” She grinned at him. Lance felt hot all over as he smiled back at her. He darted off to where he left his things, grabbed his towel and began drying off. Realizing that his boxers were a lost cause, he took them off and wrapped the towel securely around his waist, then put on his T-shirt and shoes. He heard footsteps approaching just as he hung his wet boxers on the tree limb.

“Uh, hi.” He felt his face heat up. She couldn’t contain her giggles. “I’m gonna pray this towel doesn’t fall off.” Pidge covered her mouth, trying to suppress her laughter. “Not so loud. You’ll wake up the entire camp.” He held the towel around his waist tightly with his right hand.

She was dressed in her too-large Paladin pajamas and sneakers, her discarded underclothes dripping wet in her left hand, and her own towel in her right. She hung her underthings up to dry next to his boxers. “You better hope no one finds this in the morning. The others will wonder what we were doing out here in the middle of the night,” she said teasingly. She kept her towel and rubbed her damp hair with it.

“They will jump to conclusions and Shiro will kill me, on behalf of Matt and your dad.”

“When we get back to Earth, you need to worry about my mom. She’s scarier than both of them put together.”

“She’ll learn to love me. I intend to be her future son-in-law, after all.”

“Don’t joke about stuff like that unless you really mean it.”

“I do. I want us to be long term, death to us part and all of that stuff.”

The smile that she gave him was angelic. She positively glowed with happiness at what he implied. “I think Katie Holt-McClain has a nice ring to it.”

“I can see you have put some thought into this.”

“I’ve loved you for a very long time, Lance McClain.” She hugged him tightly, and he embraced her, kissing the top of her head. He held her close for a long moment, smiling into her damp hair.

“Pidge, my dearest, close your eyes,” he said in his deepest, most seductive voice.

She looked up at him with adoration. “Are you going to kiss me again?”

“Not yet. I want you to close your eyes because my towel is falling off.”

“Wow, this is even better than turning you into a stag.”

“Pidge!” He exclaimed over the sound of her hysterical laughter. Lance held the towel in place as best he could, but when he turned his back on her to fasten it more securely, it slipped from around his waist, revealing far too much of his backside. It was too dark beneath the trees to see anything, but she couldn’t resist teasing him. “Well, tonight this planet has two moons. Too bad only one of them is full.”

“Pidge!” Lance was beyond embarrassed. He was wondering if this planet had any sinkholes that could suddenly open up to swallow him and take him out of his misery. When her laughter finally stopped, he bravely turned around to face her.

She had broken two small leafless branches off of the nearest tree. “Well, Artemis is the goddess of the moon.” She held up the branches above her head like antlers. “These are for you, Actaeon.”

“I think Actaeon has been punished enough for accidentally mooning the moon goddess.”

Pidge laughed harder than ever at this comment, and Lance, grinning in spite of his own humiliation, grabbed her and kissed her cheek as she giggled. He kissed her forehead as she continued to laugh, and as he kissed the other cheek she was crying tears of mirth. When she finally dropped the branches, it was so that she could wrap her arms around him, stand on tiptoe, and kiss him passionately.

When their lips finally parted, he grinned as he looked down at her and said, “You are never going to let me live this down, are you?”

“Nope. I will be telling this story to our children and grandchildren. Let’s go back to camp, Actaeon.”

They did their best to remain quiet when they arrived at the campsite. “I think I’ll sleep outside tonight too,” she whispered.

“Well, I am going to put some pants on, so my goddess won’t be offended,” he whispered back to her before slipping quietly into his tent, careful not to disturb Hunk’s slumber.

When Lance exited the tent to return to his camp mattress beneath the stars, he was wearing light blue pajama pants with his T-shirt. He saw that Pidge was combing her damp hair, sitting on the mattress she had placed next to his, and he smiled at her. Before they lay down side by side, he kissed her goodnight, then covered them both with his light blanket. They held each other close as they fell asleep at last, bathed in the silvery light of the moon.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Dimples - Shawn Mendes

here is the requested imagine, hope you like it!

word count: 1,5ish

masterlist

She is sitting in the back of the Uber, staring down at her phone with furrowed eyebrows as she is examining her boyfriend’s latest Instagram post. It’s a selfie they took a few days ago, but he only posted it this morning. Shawn took the photo with his front camera, Y/N standing between him and the phone, both of them smiling at the camera widely. Her hair is tugged behind her ears while Shawn is nuzzling his nose into it lovingly. It’s a cute couple picture and she would also totally love it if only she hadn’t seen the capture.

“I could disappear in those dimples” he wrote and it might sound innocent and funny in a cute way to anyone, for some reason it’s making her insecure.

She is aware of the two massive dimples she has on her cheeks every time her lips curl into a smile, she’s had them since she was a baby and this is probably one of the most noticeable things on her face. It is what caught Shawn’s eyes when they met for the first time and he thought it’s the most adorable thing he has ever seen and he loves teasing his now girlfriend about it, not even knowing it’s making her feel uncomfortable sometimes.

Even though everyone comments on how cute they are, all that gets stuck in her head is that people are commenting on them. And she doesn’t like having too much attention, but now millions of people are staring at her dimples because Shawn just made them notice it if they haven’t already.

Locking her phone she promises something to herself. No more smiling. Those dimples gotta stay hidden.

Arriving to Shawn’s hotel she gets out of the car and heads right in. Standing in the all mirror elevator she stares at herself as she is taking in her serious face that she intends to keep for at least until the end of the day.

“Babe?” She calls out walking into her boyfriend’s hotel suit. She hears a quiet piano playing in the background somewhere and the water running in the bathroom. It stops when she shuts the door behind her walking in further and a few moments later a shirtless Shawn walks out, tapping his face with a towel.

“Hey Beautiful,” he welcomes her, his eyes lighting up immediately when he sees his favorite person on Earth.

Walking closer he leans down for a quick kiss and Y/N almost lets a smile curl up on her lips, but then she remembers her promise and holds it back.

Shawn leaning back notices something is off, but he just can’t put his finger on it. He narrows his eyes on her, but decides not to mention anything. Maybe she is just tired.

“So, where do you want to go?” he asks walking into his bedroom as she follows him and flops down on his bed while he is looking for a shirt to wear.

“I don’t know. Do you have something in mind?”

“I thought maybe we could give that sushi place another try, you could watch me mess up the food with the chopstick,” he chuckles thinking back at the last time they had sushi.

He is definitely not good with the chopsticks, last time it took him an hour to figure out how to eat his dinner with them and at the end he just gave up and used a fork. Y/N has laughed so much that evening and now the thought is making her grin again, but her face quickly straightens again.

Shawn is standing in front of her, he stops and stares at her as she is clearly avoiding to look at him. Now he knows something is up and he is not taking this bullshit. He wants to see her smile so he makes one more attempt at it.

“Or we could go to that grill place where they have that amazing barbeque sauce and I could pour it all over me and I would stand there, barbeque sauce on my titties…”

He knows she loves a good Vine reference, but it does nothing this time. Her face remains straight as she is nervously biting into her bottom lip and this is the last string for him.

“Okay, baby, that’s it. What is wrong?” he asks kneeling down in front of her. He turns her face towards him by her chin and forces her to look into his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“Your face is as straight as me,” he cracks another joke, but still nothing. “See? You would be laughing at my lame jokes by now, so tell me! What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” she shrugs.

“You’re not fooling me.” he cups her cheeks in his hands leaning closer. “I wanna see those cute dimples so I can kiss them.”

It was a hundred percent a cute compliment, but the mentioning of her dimples just worsens her insecurity.

She shakes his hands off of her and standing up she walks over to the window. Shawn stands up totally confused about what made her be so distant like this.

“No dimples today,” she shortly states folding her arms on her chest. Shawn is in total shock. He stands there totally lost, then walks closer, but he gives her some space still not sure about the situation.

“I’m sorry, but… Did I do something? Or did I say something?”

She wants to say something, she wants to tell him what is hurting her, but she feels like he’ll think she’s stupid. Who gets mad at someone finding her dimples cute? It sounds ridiculous, but not for her.

“No,” she then says, but it’s obviously a lie.

“Babe, talk to me. If I said something tell me, I hate seeing you mad at me.”

Reaching out he places a hand to her forearm and he slowly turns her around so he can see her face. She is debating, fighting with herself whether she should keep her mouth shut or share it with him.

“It’s just…” she starts sighing. “Can you… Can you like… Not comment on my dimples?” She is glancing up at him through her lashes, afraid of his reaction. Laughter is the last thing she needs right now.

But luckily, Shawn doesn’t starts laughing. Instead he is trying his best to understand the situation.

“What is wrong with your dimples, baby?”

“What is wrong? What’s wrong is that they take up like half my face and I just… Ugh!” she growls anxiously running her fingers through her hair. Shawn, taken aback from her sudden outburst takes her hands in his holding it to his chest. The warmth of his body has an instant calming effect on her, she can feel his heart beating under her hands.

“Babe, take a deep breath, okay?”

She nods and does as he asked. She takes a deep breath and slowly exhales.

“Good. Okay, now tell me what the problem is.”

“I just… I hate how everyone is commenting on my dimples, they literally take up half my face and they make me look so stupid,” she mumbles under her breath.

“They are not stupid, they are cute,” he softly says. “I love your dimples.”

“You’re just telling this to me because you’re my boyfriend,” she rolls her eyes, but Shawn shakes his head at her.

“No. I absolutely adore them. Wanna know why?”

“Why?” she asks, her voice is barely more than just squeaking.

“Because when I see them I know you are smiling, I know something made you happy and I just want to see you happy all the time.”

His words warms her heart. He never fails to touch her with just his plain existence and this is why she can’t live without him. Leaning closer she presses her lips to his capturing them in an emotional kiss. His arms wrap around her body pulling her close as her hands travel up to his neck.

“Thank you,” she whispers and slowly a smile appears on her lips making him the happiest man alive.

“There they are. I’ve missed you guys!” he grins down at her kissing both of her dimples, making her giggle like a little girl. “I love you,” he mumbles against her skin.

“I love you too,” she sighs happily, but Shawn leans back with a straight face which confuses her.

“Oh, I was talking to your dimples, but… I guess I love you too,” he jokes. She gasps at him, but also can’t hold her laughter back as his lips curl up into a smile as well.

“You’re such an ass,” she slaps his chest lightly as she peels herself out of his arms. “Get dressed, Mendes. Or you’ll never see these dimples again,” she warns him jokingly.

“Yes, Ma’am! Anything for my dimples!” he salutes grabbing his shirt and putting it on as fast as possible.

[neshabeingchildish]

24. Medical School & Mommyhood

Detemined: A Chasper Fic

Imagine, if you will, Uncle Roscoe - a very sizable man with long locs, singing This Woman's Work, in a true classical Soprano…

all that his niece Charlotte wants to do is rest because she spent hours working as he sings about to push a tiny human out of her body. Her husband, Jasper, an Uncle Roscoe enthusiast and a lover of emotional displays is visibly very emotionally shaken by this lovely gesture as he holds in his arms their small child.

As Charlotte's patience wears thin, Uncle Roscoe's performance gets thicker and when he croons, "Oh Darling, make it go…"

"I'll make YOU go!" She practically shrieks.

Jasper gasps, but rubs the back of her neck, lovingly, “She’s tired, Uncle Rox. That was the most beautiful gift that anybody has given us, since this, the day of our daughter’s birth…” He winced, “Baby’s birth! Baby’s birth!” He said and smiled at winked at Charlotte. 

She had been trying to program him from treating their child like a son or daughter, so whenever the baby finally came out and she realized that they were in that female presenting body, she cried. She knew that meant a harder time for this kid, but Jasper cheered, “I have a daughter!” And, well… That was just gonna mess up the footage, wasn’t it? What if Jasper Jr isn’t a girl? She was very preoccupied with the thought, because now, she felt like Jasper had gotten off of the page of how she wanted to raise kids. How they agreed to raise their kids before she could ever agree to carrying one full term! If he saw Jasper Jr as his “little girl,” he might treat her that way and while Jasper was very progressive in a lot of ways, he still had some of that good old fashioned sexism in his DNA and she just wanted whoever they were to be someone that if the world was gonna put stipulations and limitations on… their parents at least would never.

Jasper held the baby close, most of the time. Charlotte was in a lot of pain and discomfort. She wasn’t the “physical pain” type. She abhorred it and had never handled it well. If Jasper could have switched places with her and took on all of the pain and discomfort, he would have. He didn’t say that to her, because he thought it would seem like a frivolous platitude, but she knew deep down inside that was the kind of person he was. He would do anything for her to not hurt. Whenever he handed Baby Jasper back to her, he went to escort Uncle Roscoe out of the hospital. 

Charlotte looked down at this brown baby person with brown eyes, stretched wide, but unable to focus, the softest and curliest of curls that she had ever seen and a slightly too big onesie that Jasper must’ve put on them when Charlotte was asleep that had “My Daddy loves me more than the WHOLE world!” and a drawing of a heart shaped Earth. “You are this whole world.” Jasper sniffled and Charlotte glanced up. She hadn’t noticed that he was back until then. Maybe he had just returned. He quickly made his way to the bed and rested next to them. “Daddy’s back.”

“So, we didn’t get a chance to fill out their birth certificate. I know that you’ve called them Jasper Jr most of the time, but I didn’t think you’d want that on official paperwork, since Jr. is usually gender specific to boys, and because there’s no way we’re giving them my middle name, even if you’ve rebranded it.” They laughed.

“No. I don’t want them to be your junior, not because of the history of junior, but because of your middle name. I was thinking, though. Whenever I rebranded your middle name, which, may I say is such an EXTRA description of what I actually did…”

“You stated that my middle name was a prophecy because I’m so determined. That was brilliant and beautiful. I wish we were in love when it happened so I could make love to you for how awesome that was…”

“It got me thinking!” She cut him off. This soon after labor, the LAST thing she wanted to think about was making love. “The word “determined.” Because yours was an uncertain usage. To be determined is so tentative and unstable, unless it’s a declaration of this version of you. Look at what you’ve done with yourself over the years. Only a determined person could do that and I know that your middle name wasn’t actually a name, but a placeholder, but we don’t need any placeholder. We can just give them a name. And, I can’t think of one more fitting and accurate than something that I think of every time that I look at you… Determined.”

“Determined?” He repeated.

“Several cultures name children things that are attributes or wishes or descriptions. Even some of the names that they name their children translates into characteristics when you put them in their original form. We speak English, so Determined. BUT… If you just hate it, I can go for a name that translates to it, like Erimentha or Ernest… Ernesta… etc…”

“No. No. Those are hideous. Anyway, I love it. I just… I keep thinking that it isn’t possible for me to have more joy, but then, I keep finding more, or… it keeps finding me. If someone had told me at 16 that I would have a family, an amazing wife who is out of my league in like every way, but loves me just like she’s in my league, and a beautiful baby that looks just like her and door after door of opportunity to thrive in my career and take care of them… I just… I would have thought it was make believe. I’m living a dream.” He wrapped his arms around Charlotte and rested on her shoulder. “Jasper Determined Dunlop.”

“We can call them “Jazz,” just to make it a little less convoluted when speaking at home,” she suggested. “They look like a Jazz.”

“They look like a Charlotte,” he said and booped her nose.

.

Medical school was NOT a brilliant idea for a new mother, but Charlotte was always a hardworking person, so she figured that she could handle this. Whenever it seemed to get really hard, Jasper would always say, “You know, you can quit, whenever you want.” But, that would have the opposite effect. She pushed harder. No, she couldn’t quit whenever she wanted to! In addition to that being the opposite of what she wanted to do, it would be too much like what she knew Jasper wanted her to do. He wanted her to stay at home with the kids whenever he wasn’t able to. Speaking of… Shortly after Charlotte got her entry into medical school, she also got pregnant, again. 

What could she say? Surely, old her would have planned for and against this, but mommy her, busy with Jazz, medical school, etc took the time that she could whenever she got with her husband to enjoy it and she hadn’t been as meticulous as you might expect! So, she had two babies, less than a year apart and was going to medical school during her second pregnancy.

Jasper wanted her to take a break. It was too much, he’d say. Nobody should put themselves through all of this bodily and mental strain, if they didn’t have to and she didn’t have to. They were more than comfortable without her having a doctorate, and the girls were having so many moments that she was missing out on! “The kids,” she corrected him. “Until they say otherwise…”

“Well, you’re never home to implement that,” he said, sulking. She threw him a glare. He sighed and said, “I don’t slip up, much. But, nobody knows a boy named Amber, so it’s harder to keep up with it with her than with Jazz.”

“With them!” They both said at the same time, correcting him. 

Charlotte sighed. “I can’t take a break. I took a break from work when I had Jazz. I took a break from medical school when I had Amber.”

“Hardly!”

“It affected me!” She squealed, collected her things and stormed out of the room. Jasper wiped his face and looked over at the two small children. The toddler with a full head of wild curls, trying to give a ball to the baby in the walker, with equally as curly hair, but not as much of it. Amber accepted the ball and immediately tried to stuff it into their mouth. Jasper told himself that it had been rolling on the floor, but if he snatched it away, they were definitely gonna cry. He didn’t need to upset another one of his loves tonight. He just wished that Charlotte could realize what she was missing out on whenever she wasn’t around. What he couldn’t put into words… the bonds being formed in her absence… They were supposed to be doing all of this together.

Several times, Jasper would make plans for the entire family at times when she didn’t have “anything pressing” coming up, but by the time it was time for the plans, she would either be so tired that she told him to just go without her, or he would cancel, seeing that she was tired, which generally resulted in her fussing very grouchily about why he cancelled when he knew that she would be trying to sleep. Or better yet, why even be on this side of the house when the house that they bought was huge? “I THOUGHT that even though you’re tired that you might want to at least TRY to pretend that our children exist!”  he snapped back once. She was angered to full awakeness. He regretted letting that accusation slip out. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

“You said it. So, you meant it,” she commented, clearly angry.

“No. I don’t know where that came from. Some dark and wrong part of me. I don’t feel that way…”

“And the thing that perplexes me about you saying that is that I wasn’t even really ready to start having children. I was going through things at my workplace and I was desperate and vulnerable, and you convinced me that I could do whatever I wanted to do and began to put the pressure on me to begin having children.”

“That’s not exactly how I remember…”

“So, in my emotionally distressed state, I came to the decision that if I did have a baby and transition away from that lab, Jasper will have my back!”

“I do… Char…” He sounded desperate, but she was not finished.

“SO, I did have a baby and I did transition away from the lab and I entered medical school to further my career, and in between, I went to networking luncheons, dog tired, with a small infant and sometimes two dogs and I smiled and socialized - two things I don’t even really like doing that much - with your clients, to support your career change that you SPRUNG on us suddenly one day then dived head first into it with my complete and utter support, because I knew that you hated your job and wanted to do something else. Granted, there were no children at the time, but if there were, I would never address you the way that you just came at me.”

“If the kids were born, I wouldn’t have made such a rash decision!” He said.

“So… only the kids’ feelings matter? They don’t even know what’s going on. I had to just tell myself to stay out of your way while you sorted something out to bring you joy and when I do the same thing, kids or not, I expect the same respect. It isn’t like I never see them! It isn’t like I abandoned them. A lot of women are career women. Some of them out there doing it by themselves. I take the time that I take because I know that the two children that I grew inside of my body, painfully ushered into this world, and in exhaustion and dedication fed on my own two teets, are in safe hands, because I’ve trusted myself in those very same hands for many years before I ever even decided to make the sacrifices that I made to my career trajectory and to my body to have them. So. You. Saying. Such. A. Thing. To. Me???” Her shoulders slumped. Her anger had been released and replaced by hurt and sadness. “Fuck you, Jasper.” She whispered, started crying and left the room.

“Baby!” he called and pulled two handfuls of his own hair. How could he? How could he have sank so low as to say something like that to her? They didn’t argue a lot, not over really serious stuff, so maybe he just reverted to the only kinds of arguments he was used to - the way he and his mom would speak at each other’s flaws instead of talking out their problems. Charlotte definitely didn’t deserve that, especially when they hadn’t really discussed this concern of his in any real way. So, it was not only out of nowhere to her, but he could only imagine how extremely hurtful that must’ve been. She was supposed to be able to trust him with her feelings, with her heart, with the truth. He did feel like she didn’t spend enough time with the kids, but that wasn’t the way to say it, and while she’s tired and sleepy and… “Fuck!” he hissed at himself.

“Fuck!” Jazz repeated. He gasped and rushed over to where they were playing with the ladybug hockey set that Pansy bought.

“No, no, no… Don’t say that J.”

They giggled and repeated, “Fuck!” Daddy’s excitement face was hilarious to them and they realized that the key to getting it was to say whatever “Fuck” was. Jasper sat on the floor and covered his face. He was really not doing a good job today. Jazz pulled his hands from over his face and laughed, “Fuck.” He could only laugh now too, at this point. Amber was crawling to the puck. They were gonna try to eat it. That was all they did. Poop their diaper and try to eat everything but what was served to them as food. He snatched them away just in time. 

Charlotte came out of the bedroom, having been crying for a while, ready to face Jasper again and smooth over whatever happened, because even though she felt attacked and was going to be hurting for a while, she knew that Jasper would never say something just to hurt her, so that was obviously how he felt and they needed to come up with a solution for it. Because, she was not going to tolerate another low blow like that in the future. 

Jasper had started on dinner. Jazz was “helping” and Amber Reign was already in the highchair, with an empty plastic bowl and spoon to hold them over. The moment they saw Charlotte, they began to kick their legs happily and try to get out of the seat, so she went to collect them. Jasper glanced over and just seeing her was overcome with guilt again. Jazz went over too and began to tell their mom a story that Charlotte understood almost perfectly, despite the fact that none of it was in real words that adults could just understand. Jasper could sometimes detect a few sprinkled in, but he didn’t have that gift that Charlotte tended to have where she pretty much got all of what this kid was telling her. 

He came over and said, “Char, about earlier…”

“Please don’t taint what little time I spend with my children with any of that. We can get into it later.” She said it with a smile, as to not alarm the children, but he saw her eyes, how sad they were and the flecs of anger whenever he spoke. After dinner, which was weird because they rarely got dinner together as a family and whenever they did, usually Jasper and Charlotte were catching up like besties and sprinkling the children in. Jasper was silent. He didn’t want to say anything. Charlotte was talking with the kids. Helping Amber with the spoon and Jazz to pronounce things a little bit better. But, afterwards, Charlotte said, “I’ll get the kids cleaned up. You got the table?”

He just nodded. He was… simply depressed that he had done this to his home. He had invited in something ugly and something he never wanted to bring from his first family to this one. She sighed, collected Amber, kissed him on the cheek and took Jazz’s hand. “You kids are filthy! Who taught you two how to eat?” She joked around. Jasper was grateful for that pity kiss on the cheek, but he wasn’t gonna forgive himself any time soon.

He cleaned up the kitchen and went into the bedroom. Charlotte had already went to sleep. Probably couldn’t sleep earlier after he’d upset her. He didn’t know if he should get into bed or go to the couch. There was a pullout wall bed in Jazz’s room and a cot in Amber’s nursery. He could crash in either, but that might confuse the kids. They only used those whenever the kids were scared or sick or sleep eluded them for some other reason. Not for selfish dads who say hurtful things to their wives when frustrated. She stirred and gasped when she saw him standing there. “My god, Jasper! What’re you doing?”

“Trying to figure out if I should get into bed or not. Didn’t mean to wake you.” He sat on the bed, and didn’t move. He felt her arms wrap behind him from behind and her head rest on his back. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“Let me talk first, okay?” He nodded. “Okay. I’ve had a rough time in medical school. I had a rough time prior to that. Before, whenever I had a rough time, I’d come home and vent and fuss and cry and you were always there for me. Today, I wanted to sleep. That’s all I wanted, and I kept hearing Amber screaming every time you took something from them. Jazz talking nonstop. And, that’s what they should be doing. They’re kids. Kids are noisy creatures. I should have just came and asked, “Hey. Think you could maybe take them on a day trip or something. I really want to sleep.” Instead, I came in fussing and I really shouldn’t have spoken to you that way, especially in front of them. So, it wasn’t like I came home and wanted to go to sleep and you went off on me. I probably triggered something. I probably made you feel some type of way. But, Jasper… even though I am holding myself accountable for my part in that argument…” Her voice cracked. “You can’t say things that hurtful to me. Okay? Because… I can’t handle it. If you had fussed back and told me not to talk to you that way, I’d have been mad, maybe. I’m cranky and tired, so I probably wouldn’t have been super rational. But, what you said…”

“It wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.” He turned to hold her. “I don’t know why I would say something like that. I promise, all I ever speak about is how great of a mom you are. Because, you are, Char. You’ve put Amber in a pouch while you’ve studied for midterms. You’ve let Jazz think they were helping you study by lowkey going over anatomy notes with them. I just had an image in my head that when we started a family, it would be perfect. That’s on me. Nothing’s perfect, but you’re always wonderful and you spend as much time as humanly possible with them. That was… so shitty of me.” He sniffled. “And I accidentally taught Jazz the word “Fuck.” Charlotte accidentally started laughing at that portion of the confession and he squealed, “They keep on saying it and I can’t stop them!”

“I’m sure they’ll survive, F Sized.”

He squeezed her. “I’m still that?”

“Hurting my feelings one time doesn’t make me stop loving you, but you’d better be really careful in the future. I wanted to punch you in the face.” He allowed himself a little laugh.

“It wouldn’t hurt. You have miserable upper body strength.”

“Nu uhn. I’ve had to work on it because I have to be able to help move those body dummies!”

“Okay, but that won’t make your punches harder, necessarily.”

“You wanna test it out?” she jokingly threatened. 

“I wanna hold my wife.”

“Okay. But, I’m gonna lay down and actually finally get some sleep.”

“Yes, that’s good. You deserve it.” She laid back down and Jasper wrapped himself around her, crying softly. She knew that she couldn’t say anything more to help him accept that sometimes, even he’ll make mistakes. She hated it though. She hadn’t heard him crying in a really long time. She turned to wipe his face, as needed and did so until the sleep took over her. He didn’t know if her graciousness made him feel better, or worse. 

.

Her last year of medical school, Charlotte got pregnant again. Jazz was a 4 year old wild child, Amber a 2year old TOTAL princess, and this July baby that she would have, she DESPERATELY wanted not to be a Leo like their father. She loved him and everything, but did she need two personalities like that? Whenever she already had a restless Aries child and a Sagittarius drama queen. Being an Earth sign surrounded by all this fire was enough for Charlotte! “So… You want them to be a Cancer?” Jasper asked and rolled his eyes. “I can tell you right now, you don’t want to deal with the emotional habits of a cancer on a daily basis. You hate dealing with emotions.”

“I… don’t hate dealing with emotions. And we aren’t talking about some person in a mommy group. We’re talking about my kids. I’d deal with whatever.”

“I’m rooting for a Leo,” he said flat out.

“These birthdays are so close together!” She complained. “Mine and Jazz’s. Henry’s and Amber’s. Now yours and Ruby’s.”

“I like it. We’re all birthstone buddies. I was so stoked to find out that even though technically Jasper isn’t Jazz’s birthstone, it’s the planetary stone of Aries. That was awesomely cool accidental serendipity.”

“You don’t have to say accidental in front of serendipity.” He rolled his eyes. She could stomp him in science and math, but she didn’t want any of him in Language Arts. “I’m worried.”

“About what?” 

“That after medical school nearly tore our marriage apart that I might not even be able to use it.”

“Both of those observations are ridiculous.”

“I’m going to have to take a maternity leave when I should be in my internship. Which means that I will have to probably postpone it and seeing that, who will want me, Dude? It’s like the world ONLY wants child producing humans to do that.”

“The country, maybe. A lot of other places have better opportunities and situations when it comes to maternity politics. You wanna move somewhere?”

She laughed, “WHERE? What country would I want to just try to move to, knowing nothing of their language, society, etc, because of a maternity leave situation?”

“I didn’t consider all of those things when I suggested it.” Charlotte laughed and leaned in to give him a kiss, to which, of course, he responded, fully engaged.

Jazz came into the room and folded her arms, “You two kissing in the mouth in here?”

“Mind ya business!” Charlotte said back.

“Y’all nasty,” Jazz commented and left.

“I feel like that couldn’t have been the reason they came in here,” Charlotte observed.

“They are bad at focusing, just like their daddy. I’m gonna go check things out.” he was gone for about 30 seconds whenever he shouted, “OH MY GOD, AMBER!” Charlotte jumped up and went to see what that meant. Amber had a yellow power wheels convertible that Jasper had specifically done that way because all of the ones that he could find were pink or purple, and neither were colors that they liked, despite often selecting “girl things”themselves… and they had just covered it in painted handprints. 

“How did they get paint?” Charlotte wondered. 

Jazz said, “I got my ladder chair.”

Charlotte noticed the rolling steps that Jasper sometimes used for housework and she stared at him. “I thought I put those away.” He grabbed the rolling steps and Charlotte grabbed the paints. “Well, they’ve got an even more custom car now,�� he said, with a laugh. 

“No more fire signs. No more fire signs…” Charlotte cooed, picking up the toddler who was wearing a Belle gown from Beauty and the Beast - their favorite Disney Princess, so she could clean the paint off of them before it got worse. 

“You left the paint, Mom!” Jazz commented, even though they were the one that even got it down for Amber in the first place. 

“No more fire signs. No more fire signs.”

Eight Months Later…

“Another fire sign!” Jasper cheered. This dude was about to have a mini Leo in the house, like all of their children weren’t already just various incarnations of mini Jaspers. Uncle Roscoe came to the hospital with a boombox and Charlotte already knew that she wasn’t in the mood. He and Jack Leigh had given them a “blues version” of Amber by 311 whenever Amber was born and while Charlotte wanted to ban both of them from the hospital any time she had a baby, this was apparently something that Jasper felt was a good tradition. These songs. She wondered what she was about to have to endure with this infant latched on to her person to feed. Her uncle pressed play. Fire, by the Ohio Players. She put in the earplugs that she had brought in preparation for Uncle Roscoe’s tribute and went to sleep. Ruby anxiously looked around to find the source of the music, but wasn’t about to let go of their lifeline to milk, either.

[heungtanbts]

omg girl plz post your drafts on what you want to say to the boys!!

If you were able to sit and talk to each member what would you tell them? And yes. I am purposely asking this so you could get all sappy and die of the good feels 😊

this has been sitting in my drafts for a g e s now. i challenged myself to write only 7 sentences to each member, but still somehow managed to carried away with this. welp here goes nothing. aka warning, looong post ahead.

to namjoon:

you are a great leader because you are understanding, empathetic, a good listener, and truly caring of those that you lead, and please don’t letanyone, including yourself, ever make you think you’re not a worthy leader. you are the most beautiful man, namjoon; your heart is just so big, your thoughtsso deep and profound, you put others before yourself and think deeply about how your words, actions, and decisions will affect others. you are incrediblyhumble, so willing to reflect and admit your own mistakes, and are not afraid to apologize or come clean when it comes to it and the way you own up to your responsibilities is amazing. It must be so much pressure to have to say and do the right things all the time, especially with so many eyes watching andjudging, and yet you lead with such confidence and humility and i just don’t know if you really understand just how incredible you are. thank you for beingso real with us, for sharing your experiences and your heart with the world through your music just so one more person can relate, feel understood and findhealing, and for helping shape bangtan to become what it is today. you’re so down to earth, goofy, adorably clumsy, passionate about blue crabs, aneffortless fashion king, a lyrical genius and poet, charismatically captivating on stage, and like ARMY’s older reliable brother. thank you for teaching us to love ourselves, but don’t you ever forget that YOU ARE SO LOVED and that we will stand behind you no matter what because you are our one and only, precious kim namjoon.  

to jin: 

thank you for being the confident dorky older brother of bangtan that lights up any room and situation with his silly antics and contagious laughter. you may be giving jungkook a run for his money and title as bangtan’s maknae, but you are also so incredibly reliable, cool, calm and collected when necessary, and a true solid foundation for bangtan to be built upon. you’ve taught us all to throw away our insecurities and care for others opinions, and to just be ourselves. i know you go through a lot behind the scenes that no one sees, that you’re shyer than we think, more burdened than it seems, and notalways the happy, hilarious meme you most often portray yourself to be. and i just hope you know that your laughter, your antics, your love for the othermembers, and your decision to always see things on the bright side has truly brought so much joy and comfort for me and other ARMYs. you truly are mr.worldwide handsome, not just because of you literally are prince charming, but also because of how wonderful and genuine your heart is for others and for your fans. thank you for being yourself, keeping bts solid on their feet by being a firm foundation, shining in all your talents (you are so wonderful at singing,dancing, acting, variety, everything!!), and reminding us to live life optimistically and to enjoy it. 

to yoongi: 

thank you for choosing to sign with bighit and become a part of bts,even though you were so wrongly tricked by bang pd (ㅋㅋㅋ) because if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here, spilling your blood, sweat, and tears into new songs and albums that aren’t just products, but that truly speak about you, your emotions, your experiences and your life. thank you for being so real with all of us and for not shying away from the issue of mental health, because i know that alone has brought many ARMYs so much comfort and hope. thank you for caring so deeply about all the members in your tsundere ways; they absolutely live to see you smile and make you laugh and i hope you know that (actually, we all do). you truly are the dad of bts, not in a bad way, but because you are so steady, you always provide for your members, quietly clean up after their messes without complaint, and care so personally about the growth and well-being of each member. i know you’ve lived a tough life, and you’ve been so open about your struggles while growing up and getting to this point, but i hope you feel that it was all worth it because now you connecting with the world in the universal language that is music and making history just by being yourself. never ever forget that you are so wonderful, your gummy smile and random bouts of hyperness are so endearing, your pure talent and ability to convey so much emotion into lyrics is inspiring, your rawness is so real and comforting, your ability to feel and care so deeply is inspiring, and you truly have changed all of our lives. please take care of yourself, don’t be too hard on yourself, make sure you eat and sleep enough, and know that we are going through this thing we can “life” with you, one day at a time.

to hoseok: 

to our sunshine, our angel and hope, the one with the most contagious laugh and brilliant smile, thank you for existing. i know there were days in the earlier times where people didn’t even recognize or think of you as a part of bts, and those times hurt, knowing that people looked down on you like that and i’m so sorry you had to go through that. but thank you for enduring it, staying true to yourself, never allowing it all to suffocate your wonderful laughter and light, and for loving ARMYs continuously through it all. you arebangtan’s strong pillar, hoseok-ah, you go through so much behind that beautiful smile of yours, endure so much, but never ever complain or show it. you are so strong, not because you hide your struggles, but because you choose to continue to smile, to work hard, to push through and focus on the light atthe end of the tunnel. you’ve always been goofy, but i don’t know if you realize just how much you make your members and us laugh, how much contagioushappiness you bring all of us, and how you can make someone’s day so effortlessly just by being yourself. and i hope you know that no matter how much you want to improve or do better, which is always a great thing, you are ALWAYS good enough because you are you, and you are so lovable and hardworking, and wesee your efforts and growth and appreciate you. thank you for keeping a sound and level head on for each of the members, for lovingly providing feedback andcorrections, and for working so hard for the greater good of the team and for the world. so just as you have taught us, just keep going, keep just being yourloving and talented self, keep showcasing that bright smile and melodious laughter, and remember always that you are worth it. 

to jimin: 

our chimmy, our golden hearted angel, thank you for being so gentle, genuine, loving and caring. you have also been through so much, from the early days when you felt insecure about your weight and image, to training so hard to improve your vocal and dance skills because you didn’t feel like you were enough, to ignoring all the negativity and even death threats from some horrible, horrible people. i’m so sorry such darkness like that exists in this world, but i hope you know that when we see you, all we see is a hardworking, talented, yet so kind hearted and wonderful person who wants to spread love and happiness to everyone. you have such an incredible ability to hold bts together like glue; your loving actions, genuine concern for all your members, and just your desire to want to be with your members all the time truly shows just how much you care. i love that over time, it seems as though you’ve come to love yourself more, for all your strengths and weaknesses, and i hope you never ever let that go because that’s what makes you, you - the you that we just want to hug and cuddle and love upon because you are just so precious! i hope you’ll love your body, eat enough, sleep enough, rest enough, and remind yourself that YOU are enough, and that you’ll continue to grow and flourish as a musician, a performer, and person. you are so beautiful inside and our, jimin-ah, and i hope you know that your heart of gold inspires people every day.

to taehyung:

precious taehyungie, so full of life, so mesmerized by the beauty of nature, completely unafraid of people’s opinions and a true form of radiating happiness. you are so gifted, not just in your superb acting, singing, and performance skills, but also in your ability to be the physical embodiment of a hug - warm, comforting, peaceful and utterly joy-inducing. you express beauty through fashion, your wonderful photography, your unique and adorable displays of affection, your sometimes jumbled but oh so heartfelt words, and through your love for us and your members. thank you for showing us just how important and beautiful family is – and not just related family, but your bangtan and ARMY family. you make us all smile, including your members, and i’m so glad you don’t seem to care enough about what the world thinks because the way you’re so unapologetically you is motivation enough for us to care less about what others think, and more about being ourselves and living life to its fullest. i know you’ve hit tough times, like almost not getting into bts, struggling with tough practices and fears of the future, losing loved ones along the way, and so many more i can only imagine, but the way you’ve still kept your head up with that contagious rectangular smile on your face shows how strong you are, and that itself is the push a lot of us need to keep fighting our own fights. please continue to be yourself to the fullest, to laugh lots and in turn, make your members laugh, to keep yourself healthy, to work hard and make wonderful songs and photos and other works of art, and chase after your dreams, because we will be with you, supporting you every step of the way.

to jungkook: 

to the boy who seems to have it all – talent in all kinds of realms, handsome looks, physical strength and stamina, burning passion, and on top of that, a heart of pure gold. i know you’re used to being called the golden maknae, but there are times i’m afraid you don’t believe it, not just because you’re humble and always see room for growth but also because you don’t realize just how wonderful you truly are. you are all of those things i mentioned earlier, but also so much more; just look at how you have come such a long way from the shy, scared, and less confident boy you were 6 years ago, like i hope you can see all that growth and progression and be proud of yourself. you are so beautifully unashamed of your emotions, you love your members and ARMY so much that it shows even just from the affection in your eyes and how big that bunny tooth smile gets. you are adored because you truly are golden, from head to toe, inside and out, from your musical and performance talents to the way you worry about your hyungs and want to help in whatever way you can, you are so chock full of love and ambition and bts is so lucky to have a maknae like you. as you continue to grow and struggle in this wicked and often unfair world, i hope you’ll continue to burn with ambition, strive after your goals, keep fueling that perseverance that is seriously so admirable, and, again, just keep being the goofy, adorable, hardworking maknae that you are for bangtan. no matter what or how many mistakes you make, or how inadequate you feel, or how frustrated you are with yourself or with life, just know that we, ARMY and your beloved brothers, are 100% by your side, always watching out for you, supporting you in everything you do, and loving you for who you are right now because you don’t need to impress us, we already love you for you.

[taexyoongs]

In Full Bloom

Author: Anonymous

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Romance, Angst

Words: 4.8K

Author's Note: Hi everyone! This is my first time sharing a story here, so most of you have no idea who I am. I'm posting anonymously for one reason and one reason only--this is my first piece of writing in a long time and I'm really nervous about how it'll be received. Being the first fic (or anything) that I've written in such a long time, this story is really special to me, and so I hope you'll enjoy it and receive it warmly. Please note that this fic uses she/her pronouns, and the occasional "woman" here and there. If you don't identify with those pronouns/labels, please feel free to change them as you see fit. Thank you in advance for your time.~

Summary: One glimpse was all it took to change Yoongi's life forever. 

Admin Taenox’s Note: This was not written by this blogs admins!  It was written by someone very dear to me who is amazing at writing but doesn’t know it. SO SEND IN LOTS OF NOTES (to this blog) TO SHOW HER YOU LOVE IT! If anyone else wants to send in writing, go ahead <3

When Min Yoongi first saw you three years ago, it was through a cracked window- a window that was as fractured as both your hearts.

You were sitting in a coffee shop, doodling absentmindedly in the margins of a notebook, dreaming of escape, dreaming of something more than this. The cup of tea on the table spewed steam; it lay untouched.

Yoongi had entered then. You barely noticed as he sat down in the chair across from you; you were too focused on your notebook, lovingly caressing its pages with ink.

A soft cough roused you from your daydreams. Dark eyes peered at you, at the notebook, then back at you again. His hands, strong and capable and clearly made for music, flicked blond strands of hair away from his forehead before they landed in his lap and were obscured from view.

The breath was suddenly snatched directly from your lungs. You felt as if you were watching yourself from outside your body, from somewhere far far away where an alternate reality existed. Your teeth began to chatter so hard you had to clench your jaw shut tight to prevent any further embarrassment on your part.

Yoongi lowered his eyes; they never again met yours.

"Go out with me," he stammered out.

You blinked. You weren't sure you'd heard him correctly. Surely he has the wrong person? For a moment, you dared to imagine the possibilities, dared to imagine what this might mean for you. What it could mean. But then, then other thoughts began to run through your head. The cameras, the gossip, the blood and tears he would need to put in to ensure his happiness, however fleeting. And even then, even if he did manage all that, there was one small problem. Did you want to date him because you'd looked up to him because you had followed him to the ends of the earth for years as he soothed the demons in your heart through his voice and intricately woven words? Or did you want to date him because he was beautiful because his eyes seemed to look at parts of you that you wouldn't dare show the world��because he was the only one who could reach you through honest words? Or- or, did you want to date him because you wanted to get to know him, who he was, what made him laugh, cry, what made his heart sing? And because you knew exactly who he was, because you knew exactly how this would end, because you wanted to spare him the utter misery of knowing someone like you-you told him no. 

The taste of rejection was bitter on Yoongi's tongue. He was someone who was used to being told no, and this was no different, but this one hurt in a way that other "no's" didn't. This one was not like the others. So he did what any self-respecting man who had just been told no would do; he apologized and rose from his chair, casting a regretful glance backward. Days later, and he couldn't stop thinking about the girl with the spark in her eyes and a voice like the blackest of nights- quiet, unwavering, and maybe just a little broken. Broken. Just like him.

Weeks had passed. You continued to tell yourself that what you had done was the right thing, that there was nothing else you could have possibly done no matter how much you had wanted to tell him yes. You had no time for regret. Yoongi stopped by the coffee shop almost daily after that initial meeting, hoping to get a glimpse of you for whatever strange reason. He would always sit at your table, laughing, his eyes crinkling wildly at the corners whenever he asked you about your art. You had never seen him like this, not even in the pictures of the albums you kept stuffed haphazardly in your closet. Most days, the notebook you usually took with you lay abandoned, its pages open to a smile you knew extremely well by now. Why look at an imitation, born from your imagination, when the real thing was sitting right in front of you, endless stories from his travels and work leaking from his lips? Oftentimes, weeks would go by where you wouldn't see him. You knew why, naturally, but it was always disappointing when his reassuring smile failed to appear before you. He didn't smile often, and that smile struck the fear of God into you whenever it did appear, because who knew when it would appear next, or at all. But there was a guarantee in these meetings, the guarantee that he would see you again, no matter how much time had passed, and that he would always greet you with a smile-eventually-no matter what he had endured. You wondered if he had told anyone about these meetings he was having with a strange girl in a foreign place. If he had, you were blissfully unaware, and if he hadn't, well, that would have been the more likely scenario. You imagined him consulting with his brothers, and they-they would likely either marvel at his utter stupidity or encourage him to no end, even if this, whatever it was, was futile. You would never be anything more than friends anyway, if you even were that at all. 

He kissed you for the first time exactly eight weeks after that fateful afternoon, a backdrop of stars as the only witness when he blinked sleep away from his eyes and leaned in. You had dared to allow him into your apartment, to let him stay the night after he'd come to you with his eyes rimmed red and silence on his lips. Terror tore through you. He didn't cry, he never cried. And as he paused before you, ready to launch himself into your arms, you didn't think. You cradled him to you as he looped his arms around your waist, gripping you tightly with his shoulders shaking wildly. Whatever had broken him, whoever had broken him, it had been bad. There was nothing you could do for him but this. He'd fallen asleep on your chest after you had allowed yourself to awkwardly pat his back as silent tears leaked from his eyes. You wouldn't have moved and woken him if the earth itself was about to be engulfed in flames. And when he woke it seemed to have dawned on him what he had done, and so he opened his eyes, lifted his head, and gently took your chin in his hand before pressing a soft kiss to your lips. He pulled back, just enough to gauge your reaction. His breaths barely staggered out. He was afraid, but he saw that you weren't upset, that you didn't pull back in utter repulsion, and so he leaned in again. You let him. His kiss tasted like melodies and jumbled words and sleepless nights. You were stunned...and you allowed yourself to fall.

When he found the albums in the closet, he walked out with no intention of ever coming back. You had never planned to keep what you knew a secret. You had never planned to NOT tell him that you had known his name since June 13, 2013 when you first glimpsed him on that stage that would now forever be known as having hosted legends. The simple fact was that you were afraid. How would he react once he knew the truth? Would he think that you wanted his money, or that you wanted him simply for the bragging rights, just so you could say that you had been with Min Yoongi? Status. Money. Power. All the things he had, and all the things that you didn't want, not from him. What you did want? Him. You wanted him. His dreams, his fears, his laughter, sadness, the ugly parts of him that he would never allow anyone to see. Everything. You wanted everything. "I can explain!" you screamed after him. "It's not what you think, I-please let me explain!" Yoongi snorted. A look of pure hatred descended upon his face. He looked to the albums, stacked neatly on the closet shelf. Everything was there, from the very beginning to the very end. The traitorous spines declaring the titles seemed to laugh at him. He turned back to you."You lied," he spat. "You lied, and I refuse to entertain a liar." "But-" "Did you really love me?" he snarled, voice like poison. "Or was it because of who I was? Who I am. Did you see that and decide that you would play stupid and get what you could?"You felt an eerie chill run down your spine. "Yoongi I-" "Shut your goddamn mouth!" he cried. "Did you love me." The words came out tightly, with more force than you had ever heard in any cypher. When no answer came, he tilted his head back and laughed bitterly. It was to keep the tears from spilling over, you realized. You stood there, frozen, unable to make any sound that even remotely resembled human speech. Nothing that you said would make any difference. You could tell him that you loved him over and over and over until the day your body turned to dust, but he would never believe it. He had already decided. Your throat began to close up, and in that moment you knew that you had lost. You had lost the moment that Min Yoongi had first laid eyes on you through that broken window."This is what I fucking want," Yoongi said, ice coating his tone. "I never want to see you again. Don't contact me, don't support me- hell, pretend that I'm dead to you. Because that's what you are to me. You are dead to me. And if you're worried about me telling anyone about this, about handing over your name to anyone- don't worry. I won't. You have my word." Then, in the quietest voice that you almost didn't hear him, "I'm honest, unlike you."The worst part was that he didn't even slam the door. He closed it quietly as he saw himself out without a single glance back. You crumbled the moment that he disappeared from view. He had left your life as quietly as he had entered it. Unexpectedly and without a trace. 

Yoongi hated himself. Certainly, hatred was a strong word, but there was nothing else that could express the contempt that he held for himself at this very moment. "Why did I do that?" he asked Namjoon. "Why the fuck did I do that?"He had been in Korea for approximately three months since he had shouted at you in your bedroom. He had zero intentions of ever returning to you when he had walked out that door, but the moment he stepped on the plane two days later, he realized that he was leaving his heart behind. He was making a terrible mistake, and he knew it. But to hell with it, because this was his choice, and since it was his choice, he would deal with the repercussions too. He had never really been the logical type. Act first, deal later had always been more his style. Namjoon leaned back on a cream-colored couch, a book in his hand. He closed it with a snap and sighed heavily as he stared at Yoongi. Truly, he looked pathetic. The sequined silver jacket he wore sharply contrasted with his jet-black hair and pale face. Too pale. Much too pale to be healthy. Did he seriously think he was going to perform like that and not have anyone notice that his insides had been ripped to shreds? The show started in twenty minutes. Maybe the crowd wouldn't notice, but his brothers would."I don't know what you want me to tell you," Namjoon said. Yoongi's eyes were hollow. They appeared more hollow as time continued to creep forward. "I didn't mean a single fucking word I said to her that day." "Did you call her?" Namjoon asked. "Text? Email? Apology?" Silence. "Acknowledgement of her existence?" Still, no one spoke. "Come on, you have to contact her Yoongi. You can't expect things to fix themselves. You made a mistake, that's fine. People make mistakes when they're emotional. But you made a very big mistake. You should have let her explain. You knew she didn't mean any harm, you knew. From what you told us- you knew, so why did you-" "I know," Yoongi whispered. "I was scared, ok? I was fucking scared." "Why?" "Because I wanted a reason to run away. I wanted a reason to leave. Because it was real, Namjoon. It was fucking real and that's what scared me. I wanted a reason for the whole thing to have been a lie so I could justify it when she told me she didn't want me anymore." "Was it worth it?" asked Namjoon. Yoongi considered the words. Was it worth it? Was his stupidity worth this utter shit show that he had concocted for himself? Absolutely not, but everything else? It was worth it, every last thing. When he thought about why he had yelled at you that day, it all came down to one thing: fear. What he'd told Namjoon hadn't been a lie. The fear of losing you, of not being good enough, of you running away once his darkest demons came out to play and tried to burn him alive- that's what it came down to. Yet even when he found out that you knew of his identity since day one and beyond, that you weren't as clueless as he had initially hoped. He knew without a doubt that what you wanted from him wasn't something that could be issued out in the form of hundred dollar bills. You wanted to know him, and that was what scared him the most. He knew why you didn't tell him the truth, and he understood. Maybe that's why he turned to Namjoon and said in a barely audible whisper, "Help me."Namjoon's hand found Yoongi's shoulder and lightly squeezed. "I will," he said. His hand remained, and it looked as if he wanted to say something more. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. Finally, he simply said, "Get her back. You have to get her back."Yoongi knew what he meant. She could make or break his entire life. The rest of it, anyway. If this was her, if this woman was the choice he was making, here and now and possibly for the rest of his life, he had to get her back. Yoongi grabbed his microphone and held his breath.

 He waited.

"But you said I could do it! You said I could do the vocals!" "Jimin," Yoongi said sweetly, "if you don't shut the fuck up right now, I'm going to throw you out of the nearest window." "But you said-" "On second thought, I take that back." A wicked grin spread across Yoongi's face as he turned in his chair to look at Jimin. "If you don't shut the fuck up, I'm going to give Jungkook the lines."Bangs echoed off the studio door, and despite the studio's sound-proofing, Jungkook's voice could be heard  shouting several richly-colored epithets.  Namjoon's muffled voice soon followed, though much quieter than the former's. The banging and screaming ceased at once. Jimin sighed. "Fine. What exactly is the song?"Yoongi's face softened. His eyes, always the color of slightly melted chocolate, burned darker. "It's...special."Jimin didn't ask any further questions. He simply grabbed a chair, slid close to his friend, and waited for instructions. 

It was impossible to keep track of the nights you had cried yourself to sleep from missing him. Sometimes you cried out of sheer desperation, while other nights you cried because you simply didn't know how else to deal with the pain. And then there were those nights where you couldn't cry at all, and so you tried to sleep most of your days away. Regardless, it was always his voice you fell asleep to. Always. The voice you found comfort in then was the voice you clung onto now. Funny how that worked. You were certain that if things ended badly- and clearly they had- you would never be able to return to this safe space made up his voice and the calming melodies that washed over you like the stillness of a river. You had tried to contact Yoongi. You hadn't made it a full twenty-four hours and your fingers had already been fumbling for your phone, dialing his number as if it was the only thing in this world that could save you. When he didn't pick up, you tried to text. Of course, he never replied. You weren't that surprised. You had earned this. You had destroyed him. And for that, he had destroyed you. What did surprise you, however, was the day you returned home from work to a small brown box waiting for you in the mailbox. It was thin. You shook it, but nothing seemed to budge out of place inside. Your blood turned to ice the moment you caught sight of the return address. You didn't wait to go inside. With shaking fingers, you tore the box open to find a smaller package wrapped in delicate gold paper. The sun glinted off it, reflecting all the colors of the rainbow. You opened it, and inside were two single sheets of paper. Printed on the first was a photo of a young woman facing forward, her eyes closed. Daisies and small bunches of Baby's Breath were sprinkled throughout her hair like a crown, woven throughout. The woman's face was bathed in golden sunlight, hiding most of her features. The background of the photo was a sky streaked with pinks and oranges and purples. Taped to the photo was a note with the words, I hope you don't mind. Tell me what you think. You tried not to cry and failed miserably. You remembered that day. You remembered it too well. Yoongi had told you how he needed to practice his photography skills (or lack thereof), because Taehyung had told him how awful he was at taking selfies, and Min Yoongi was certainly not going to be outshined by anyone. Taehyung had bet that he wouldn't be able to take even one good picture. Apparently, Yoongi had been able to take one. Just one. After spending at least forty-five minutes giving him directions and ensuring he wouldn't get lost, you had met him at one of your favorite parks. After the coffee shop, this is where you came to be alone. It was wildflower season, so of course, Yoongi hadn't been able to resist using them as props for his photo shoot. He had told you that he wanted you to wear the flowers because this was his only chance to upstage Taehyung in an area that wasn't rap, but you knew he was lying. He told you so later on when you had him pinned to the wall and breathed sweet words into his ear. You shook yourself back to the present, tears threatening to spill over, and took one more look at the photo. The words "Agust D," printed across the bottom corner of the page, made the world spin around you. He wouldn't. He couldn't. Oh, but he was. Sucking in a breath, you carefully tucked the first sheet of paper behind the second. This one shared a similar background to the first, but unlike the first photo, this one was numbered from one to twelve. A tracklist, you realized. Most of the slots were empty, but some of them had titles with notes made beside them in messy handwriting. His writing. One title, in particular, commanded your attention. Track twelve. It was circled and underlined in heavy black ink multiple times. In Full Bloom, you read. Immediately, you reached for the small box that everything had been packaged in. Your fingers closed around what appeared to be a rectangular piece of metal enclosed in bubble wrap. You took it out and unwrapped it. A USB stick.  Your heart thundered in your chest. You couldn't breathe. Surely this was a mistake? But it couldn't be, because Yoongi would never, not in a million years, allow such a mistake to be made. Everything he did was purposefully and thoroughly done, and this was no different. You hurried inside, transferred the song to your phone, and prepared to cry. 

The first time I saw you was through shattered glass

Broken, like the pieces that made up you

I feel like destiny was on my side that day

Because even though I couldn't fix you

Even though I didn't want to (no need to change what's already beautiful)

I knew we could be broken together, you and I

We could make something new, conquer the stars, conquer the world

You and I

We could be in full bloom

Keep going, it's going to be okay

Soon, you'll be in full bloom

No words would ever come close to being able to describe the things that Min Yoongi's voice did to you during those three minutes and fifty-eight seconds of bliss. His words flowed quickly as if time was not on his side and he needed to get them out as soon as possible. There were points where he finally stopped to take a breath and slowed, then quickly sped back up into a whirlwind of emotion. The melody itself was infectious- light and airy yet dark all at once.  And then- Jimin. You easily picked out Jimin in the background, singing not words, but light, soothing notes that sounded like millions of stars. That night, you cried yourself to sleep again, but this time was different. Because this time you cried with a smile gracing your face, Yoongi's voice in your ears, and love stamped onto your heart. Somewhere in the world, thousands of miles away, you knew that Yoongi was going about his day, scribbling words from the heart onto paper napkins, and offering forgiveness, hoping that you'd take it. He understood why you'd lied. It was going to be okay.

It's three o'clock in the morning. You're in bed, and a head of jet-black hair rests face-first on your chest, the owner's hands tightly clasping both of your own. You're not sure if he's (still) asleep, but Yoongi's hands have been holding yours for quite some time, and you'd be a fool to let go of them now. It's been three years since that night he had come to you, his eyes telling stories of pain and pain and more pain. His hands gently squeeze yours, and you're sure that he's awake now. His head lifts and the smile he gives you is nothing short of exquisite. His hands untangle themselves from yours, finding your waist. His hands, those glorious, perfect hands, guide you so that he's the one beneath you now, and you're the one sprawled out on his chest. He tangles a hand in your hair, and you look up at him with questions in your eyes. So many questions."Do you think this is crazy?" he asks, his voice like gravel. "Am I crazy?"You considered for a moment. It was easy to figure out what he was referring to. "Depends what you mean by crazy. Do I think you're brilliantly, insanely talented? Definitely. Do I think you're also insane? Probably."He smiles and chokes back laughter. His hand begins to caress your cheek. You let him, and your palm covers his hand. "I am so in love with you," he says. "And I'm scared." His voice cracks on the last word. "Still scared."You sit up on his lap so that you can look down at him from above. This was not a man that was used to sharing his emotions, so even this was a step forward. "Why?" "Because I've never loved like this, and what's freely given can be easily taken away." He kisses your palm. "You're the most important thing in my life, and I never thought I'd ever be saying that."You think back to Min Yoongi's first love; a piano, a notebook filled with hastily scrawled lyrics, and a studio where he may as well have lived in for all the time he spent in it. "There's no reason why more than one thing can't be important," you say, gently reminding him. What you loved most about him, besides his kindness, besides his warmth hidden beneath stalking shadows, was his burning passion for music and his ambition in creating something even better than the last. "What if you leave my ass someday?" "Never."For a heartbeat he says nothing, then simply repeats after you, "Never." He smiles, and you know without a doubt that his demons will never be able to catch up. You dissolve into giggles, and he soon follows. And then Min Yoongi does something that he never once dreamed he would be ever be doing because his life was supposed to be cut short a long time ago, and people like him aren't allowed happiness. Until three years ago. Until you. Until now. "Marry me."You stare at him, your ears refusing to believe what your brain understands to be true. Your body stills completely against his, and Yoongi sits up slightly. His expression softens further, if such a thing is even possible, though the smile that had been blinding before is slowly growing dimmer. His hand goes to lightly grip your arm. Slowly, his hand trails down your arm until he lays your palm flat against his. He refuses to look at you. "What?" you whisper. Fear, as sharp as any blade, slices into your chest. No, not fear. Worry. For him. Always for him."I don't think either of us ever expected for this- us- to make it this far. I mean, I'd hoped, but still," he says evenly. There's a softness to his voice that you have never heard before. "I know that things aren't going to be easy, and I know that it's not easy being with someone like me. It won't be easy." His voice breaks at this, but he carries on. "The- the fame thing. And other stuff." He still won't look at you. He takes a breath. "I'm clingy, I'm stubborn, I'm rude, and I like being holed up in a tiny room all alone for far too long for it to be healthy. But I think, I hope, I can make you happy. Because this is it, really, this is fucking it. This is me. I have issues, way too many of them to name out loud, but if you're ok with that, if you're really fucking okay with that... marry me. Because if you love me the way I think you do, I'm never letting you walk away ever again. Unless you want to." Finally, finally, Yoongi's gaze meets yours, and what you see there feels like you've been dealt a blow to the chest. Hope. So much hope, burning brighter than all the stars that had witnessed your first kiss on that fateful night. "So where's the ring?" you ask, looking to him expectantly. His cheeks immediately flush the deepest shade of crimson. He mumbles something unintelligible and lowers his head, once again avoiding your eyes."Hey," you whisper, taking his face in both your hands. "Hey, it's okay. I'm only messing with you. I don't need a stupid ring, dumbass."His lips quirk up slightly at the corners. "So? Will you?" "Of course. Yes. Yes, I will marry you."Yoongi leans in, covers your lips with his own, and for the first time in his life, allows himself to fall, fall, fall. The darkness would not touch him tonight. 

[emerald-eyes-8917]

Title: Down to the Bone

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Mention of eating disorders and negative body image.

Self esteem could often be like a swinging pendulum, careening from high to low at a moment's notice.

This utterly described her time apart from Dan while he travelled to Texas to write songs with Brian and Arin for the next Starbomb album, a crucial part of his job, a way for him to express himself in the way that he so richly deserved.

But it did not stop her from missing him.

It was only three weeks in real time, yet it felt like an eternity with hours, minutes, even seconds passing by so very slowly.

Work gave her some measure of comfort and distraction for a few hours, but coming home to an empty apartment after so many months of having someone sharing it with her, of hearing him singing or talking about the latest Game Grumps project or just talking about the latest football game in a valiant attempt to teach her more about the sport, the silence is so deafening.

When the appointed day arrived that he was to return, she takes a half day from work to come home and wait for him.  This was the first time apart from taking a plane or train back to her family when she would have taken any time off work, so this was extremely meaningful.  

Sitting on the sofa, hugging her knees, glancing between the clock and her phone, she feels like a tightly coiled spring, ready to leap at any single sound from the front door, imagining his face in her mind, wanting to hear his voice and to be taken up in his arms and held so very tight...

There is a jangle of keys and the turning of the lock, making her immediately face towards the door and get to her feet straight away, breathing quite rapidly.

She silently wills herself to calm down, for it wouldn't help if she looked like someone possessed as soon as he walked in.

When the door opens and Dan steps in, he looks up and meets her eyes, his mouth dropping open, clearly not expecting to see her at home so early, before he murmurs her name in wonder, dropping his backpack to the floor and ambling towards her, his arms open wide.

She crosses the living room towards him, almost tripping over her own feet so fast is her pace, but nothing could keep her from reaching him as she runs to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, the force of her hug almost sending him rocking back a few steps.

"Danny... oh, Danny..."

"Hey, baby.  I'm so glad to see you... I missed you, so, so much..."

That is all he can manage before he presses a kiss to her hair and squeezes her tighter, the pounding of his heart a steady rhythm beneath her ear, and she felt at home for the first time in the three weeks that he had been gone.

"I missed you, too... I really missed you..."

Dan doesn't reply straight away, but she keeps mumbling that she missed him, and he still remains quiet the longer they are standing together, slightly swaying in place as he runs his hands up and down her back, pausing to bracket her waist even as she nuzzles his neck and breathes in his scent, every touch sending a shudder of pure pleasure through her.

"Baby?"

"Mmhmm?"  She says this quite dreamily, his voice a pleasant, soothing cadence to her ears.

He inhales quite deeply, "I'm not sure how to say this without sounding weird or like some douchebag, but... I can feel your ribs through your shirt..."

Her eyes open slowly, blinking several times, both bemused and slightly puzzled.  "Oh.  Is that... bad?"

Dan appears to hesitate, "Well, it's just... just a bit different, that's all.  I don't remember feeling them this much before... not that I would be feeling for your bones or anything when I'm holding you... shit, I'm not making any sense..."

It is only when she pulls back does she realise that there is visible concern in his eyes as he looks her up and down, holding her very carefully now, before meeting her eyes,lifting his left hand to carefully trace her jawline and along her cheek in more of a careful study than a lover's caress.

"You've lost weight..."

The first instinct is to feel quite pleased that he had noticed that she was somehow a bit thinner after improving her exercise routine recently and could match the standards of beauty that the modern world presented, but the look on Dan's face is not what she expected.  He doesn't seem entirely pleased at this development at all.

"What's wrong?  Why are you staring at me like that?"

Dan is quite serious, his eyes quite sorrowful, "Please don't tell that you haven't been eating?"

Her heart immediately sinks at the implication, "What?  No!  How can you even say that?"

This was not how their reunion was meant to go.  They were meant to kiss and go to their bedroom to make love and talk about everything that had happened in their lives during these last few weeks.

Now he was borderline asking if she had an eating disorder, and it was a horrible feeling.  Why he would even ask that questions was upsetting as well.

"Are you sure?"

She immediately goes on the defensive, tears springing to her eyes, "Yes!  I mean... I haven't been feeling well and sometimes I forget to eat lunch but it's not intentional.  I've just missed you, and maybe my appetite isn't the same, but I'm not starving myself, Danny. I promise that I'm not, please believe me. I wouldn't do that, at least... not intentionally.  I just... maybe I just wanted to feel good, to look better... but I haven't been starving myself, I promise."

Dan visibly relaxes, raising his hands to whisper through the length of her hair, saying gently, "Hey, hey, I believe you, I just needed to know, because I want you to be happy and healthy, not to worry about being thin because it doesn't fucking matter."

Perhaps it was his voice loving her back to life, having been caught in the pull of pining for him, that something clicks in her mind and makes her realise that perhaps she had been unconsciously restricting her food.

She admits quietly, her cheeks hot with shame, "Maybe I was looking at Instagram too much, at some of the models and influencers posting about their fitness routines and their weight loss progress.  Maybe it was in the back of my mind or something..."

An image of Danny Sexbang dancing with gorgeaus women in bikinis flashes in her brain, and all of a sudden, she feels quite small and self obsessed as well as vaguely jealous, which was quite sudden and horrifying.

"Oh, baby.  You don't have to worry about that.  Honestly, you don't."

Her voice is quiet, choked with tears, "I just... I want to be wonderful for you.  I want to be beautiful, like all those amazing girls who are able to be so confident...”

He says quite gently, even though he was giving her a knowing look, “You know that stuff on social media isn’t real life, right?  It’s all posed and made to look good by editors.  Don’t even get me started on Photoshopping people.  You are real and you are beautiful.”

‘But not the way those other girls are...’

“It’s not just on Instagram.  I didn’t... I mean, I don’t want to belittle any of your work because it’s all amazing to be, but I really... I just imagine myself being more like your friends who appeared in your music videos at the start of NSP.  I want to look good in a bikini and not want to hide away, and I wish I was more like them..."

Dan appears quite saddened by this, which wasn't what she wanted to do at all.  She just had to go and be the awkward, pathetic girl rather than the girlfriend he deserved.

Before she can think about wanting to disappear into the floor forever, he takes her gently by the forearms, dipping his head downwards so he can look into her eyes, "Listen to me, my beautiful girl.  You don't need to be thinner and you don’t need to make yourself look like those girls.  They are stunning, but you are beautiful just the way you are.”

“Really?”  At this low ebb of her self-image, the thought would almost have been laughable.

“Yes.  I’m sorry if any of those music videos ever made you feel insecure.  That is NSP and not how I am in real life, you know?  I don’t think I could be able to dance with girls in bikinis on a daily basis without feeling like a dork...”

At this, she manages to smile, and he continues in a voice that is full of sincerity, “I am in love with you, not your weight.  I am in love with your smile, your kindness, and your sense of humour that always brightens my day.  I don't want you to make yourself smaller.  I want to hold you in my arms every night, I want to feel you beside me when I wake up and when I come home from work.  I want you to be able to enjoy food and not feel guilty or restrict yourself.  I don't want you to hurt yourself that way, okay?"

Her face crumples and she covers her eyes with her hands, overcome with shame for allowing her self-loathing to go so far, "I'm so sorry, Danny.  I've spoiled your homecoming by my stupid, stupid self esteem.  I'm sorry..."  

Dan’s breath leaves him in a rush as he hugs her close to him, "Don't cry, baby... don't cry... I know, I know... believe me when I say that you are beautiful and I love you the way that you are.  You make me so, so, so happy..."

With that final word, he has leaned down, one hand behind her back and the other behind her knees, scooping her up into his arms and she wraps her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder with her eyes shut.

"Let's go to bed... and I can tell you just how much I adore you, and maybe I can show you, as well, if you'd like."

She nods, nuzzling close to his neck, breathing deeply as her tears dampen his shirt.

The thought to tell him to mind how heavy she was never even crossed her mind, so lost was she in those warm eyes that gazed at her with nothing but adoration as he carries her down the hall to the bedroom.

Once inside, after laying her down on the bed, sharing a few more passionate kisses and their clothes discarded, he makes good on that promise, with each caress of his hands and every gentle kiss to her skin, lovingly tracing her curves and every freckle, pouring vibrant colours back into her and making her feel like the most beautiful woman on Earth.

Even if her body wasn’t perfect, even if her skin wasn’t flawless or her figure matching the societal ideal, as she came undone in his arms, her cries loud as he moans her name, she felt close enough to perfect for him.

[blueyesandleatherjacket]

Our last winter, 23/31

► Our last winter - Human!Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler. ► Written for @doctorroseprompts 31 days of ficmas. Day 23: Love. ► AU Verse, Teen. ► 1,402 words. ► A/N: This is a prequelle to Ghost of you.

“Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is time for home.” - Edith Sitwell.

Rose helped Maxence up when she was done laughing. He could have been offended if he wasn’t laughing too. It was too expect. By playing games like an idiot, by letting himself slip on ice backwards, there was a high probability of him falling on his bottom. He hadn’t hurt himself in the fall so it was okay. He held a hand out to his wife who pulled him up. Unfortunately, this move gave them some momentum and before he was fully standing, they were sliding the skating rink the other way. People stepped away when they saw the mess they were creating. They weren’t laughing this time as Maxence was trying to get his balance back and to stop them before they had an accident that could have dangerous consequences. Like that, they looked like Jack who was helping Tegan on the ice.

Whether Tegan was doing it on purpose or not, he was falling in Jack’s arms every now and then. He could certainly make an effort and skate better but it was funnier – to watch at least – to see him struggling and losing his balance only to grip Jack’s arms. The rest of their friends seemed to have a nice time watching them. They had totally forgotten about skating. Now they didn’t look who to watch since Rose and Maxence were also struggling on ice. Not for long since they reached the low wall determining the end of the rink. It stopped them and Maxence ended up in Rose’s arms. They were panting from the efforts they had been making. They smiled at each other. The situation was rather funny in all honestly. Usually, she was the one falling in his arms and not him falling in hers.

  “Well, that’s quite new.”

“That you say.”

  He smirked. She was speaking of something very private here. He wouldn’t say out loud what it was because it was their business and the world didn’t deserve to know about this. It was their little secret.

  “I like it, falling in your arms.”

“When it’s not in public.”

“Yeah.”

  He held the low wall to find his balance again. Once he had it back, he made a little dance. Maxence was always bragging about his skills in every field. He was very clever but there were stuff he wasn’t good at and he wasn’t saying a thing about it. But he was good at ice-skating and he showing off his talent. Rose giggled.

  “What if I’m pushing you, honey?”

“Don’t you dare.”

  He held a hand out to her. She wasn’t as good as he was but she took his hand and entered his dance. He had taught her all those moves. She just had to remember how to do it. She messed up a couple times but quickly managed to follow him. They were making everyone jealous around them. Liv sighed.

  “They are so perfect together.”

“Did you notice it only now?” laughed Clara.

“No, but I keep being amazed by them.”

“We all are.”

  They had seen them being just friends and best friends and lovers until they said yes to each other. A yes to an eternity of love and happiness even in the hard times. How could people not be jealous of them when the whole world was splitting apart for the most insignificant reasons. Rose and Maxence were always finding a way to fix their problems instead of letting them overwhelm them and breaking them apart.

  “If there was a picture next to the love definition in the dictionary, it would be them instead of those fictional couples that were too perfect to be true.”

  Actually, Maxence and Rose were this couple but they were real. Unless they all had the same dream. The two women glanced at Jack and Tegan. Finally the neurologist was managing to stand on his own and skate for a bit but Jack needed to be by his side because it was reassuring him.

  “Those two will end up together one day.”

“Tegan and Jack? No way.”

“Jack wouldn’t say no.”

“Jack never said no to anyone.”

  The two women chuckled and they were joined by Allegro and Zachary. Men weren’t much into gossips but they also wanted to know what was so funny. They were the only ones left on the rink and it was about to close. They would have to leave soon.

  “Are commenting the dance of the lovebirds?”

“Totally.”

  They weren’t denying it. There was no reason too. Maxence wasn’t gonna sack them because they were commenting his couple with Rose. He didn’t care about what people thought in general. Except when it came to work. There, he was listening to their opinions and taking them into consideration.

  “I wish my girlfriend and I had such a relationship,” admitted Allegro. “Seeing then makes love easy but it’s really not.”

  Maxence and Rose were ignoring everything around them. Their dance came to an end and Maxence brought her closer to lovingly kiss her. She smiled against his lips.

  “They’re all being jealous,” he murmured.

“Is our love one of the things you’re boasting about?”

  She had never caught it him doing so but she had heard him speak of her when she wasn’t there. Well, when he thought she wasn’t there. His words were always so eulogistic and he had they look in his eyes… no one could ignore how much this man loved his wife. His words, his reactions, the spark in his eyes, how proud he was of her… He was doing everything for the world to see her the way he was seeing her. But herself had troubles adopting this way of thinking. He was the same. Thinking highly of him in public but downgrading himself in private. She wanted him to see how great he was, how perfect he was to her but he wasn’t seeing it.

  “I’m only saying that my wife’s the most beautiful creature on Earth.”

  Rose blushed. This was one of the things she had troubles believing. Jimmy Stone has broken her to the core and it was having consequences. Her low self-esteem was one of them. Maxence was working hard on this to show that she was better than Jimmy had ever thought she was.

  “And the cleverest, and the best person I’ve ever met.”

  Because even in her hard times, Rose was thinking about the others. She was taking care of them before herself. It made her the better person in this world full of selfish and evil people. Her blush became darker and he cupped her cheek with a smile.

  “You’re such a lover, Max.”

“Only with you. No one else has fallen for me before.”

  He didn’t exactly have the looks of a popular boy. He was skinny and tall with big ears and a big nose. He could have a temper. An egghead wasn’t exactly the type of man girls were falling for. But one day, he had become a hero in the eyes of a woman. They had never left each other since then.

  “They were blind.”

“I think they were very wide-opened actually.”

“Your ‘flaws’ are what makes you unique.”

“Unique, that’s the word. You’re the only to have seen through them.”

“Just like you’ve seen through mine.”

“What flaws do you have?”

  She lightly slapped his chest. He knew perfectly what they were but he was being a gentleman again and refusing to tell them out loud. To tell them at all. That was another quality of his that she loved.

  “Is this real then?”

“What?”

“They said true love was dead.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s very alive and different from those afternoon movies.”

“So you’ll stay forever with me?” she asked him.

“Forever and ever,” he promised.

  He had already told her all of this countless times but she liked hearing it over and over again. Their marriage was like a fairytale. You loved them but you knew it couldn’t be true until it happened to you and Rose was the last person to have imagined this for her future. Life was unpredictable.

  “I promise you to stay forever too.”

  Maxence smiled and bent over to kiss her again. Their friends whistled and applauded which made them quite uncomfortable on the moment. They hadn’t realised they were being observed. When they were lost in their bubble of love, nothing around them existed anymore…

Our last winter © | 2018 | Tous droits réservés.

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[kpopboysreact]

BTS Reaction - Bringing Their Newborn Home With Their Wife

Thank you @jiminie-jams-bts for requesting! Bias: Jimin P.S, all the babies in this reaction will be girls because I’m an absolute sucker for fathers with their baby girls. Also, I didn’t post any gifs with the reactions because I want it to be completely up to your imagination. This is a really sweet scenario, and I want you to get a full experience from it! If you want me to add gifs though, just let me know :) Enjoy!!!!

Jimin

You were asleep, exhausted from what seemed like an eternity of labour. Jimin held your baby girl as you slept and rocked her slowly in his arms, staring at her chubby face. He wanted to sing, but whenever he made a sound, he started crying. So he settled for mouthing the words to the lullaby he sang to you when you were having nightmares. You awakened some time later to see the beautiful sight of Jimin rocking your child, hunched over her small frame. “Jimin?” You called gently. He looked up to you, a lone tear streaming down his cheek. “She’s so perfect, y/n. Everything about her is...perfect.” He stood up and placed your baby in your arms for the first time. You couldn't help but tear up. “I think she knows she’s in her mother’s arms.” He laughed as her tiny lips curled into an “o” shape. Your sniffed in your tears. “C-can I kiss her?” You asked him, as if he would know if it was safe. “I think so...” You lowered your lips to the top of her head and pressed them against her. “Can I?” You nodded and smiled as he ever so gently pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I can’t wait to take her home.” “Neither can I. I fixed up her room a couple of days ago, it’s all ready.” “You’re the best.” Jimin just smiled as his gaze drifted back down to your newborn. “She’s...” “Perfect.” He stated.

He waited and waited and waited until the doctors cleared you two to take your baby home. When they did, Jimin was all smiles. “Yeobo! Let’s go!” He’d been reading books and online articles about taking your newborn home and was proud to show you what he learned. He dressed her in light clothes with a cute baby bonnet, and fastened her into her carseat safe and sound. The sighs and coos your baby made caused him to squeal. “Jagi! Listen to her!” He smiled a smile so large and so bright, his eyes closed and he couldn’t see. “Maybe we should call one of the other guys to drive us home...” “No! The only person I trust with the lives of the two most precious people in my life is me.” He took his time driving home, like Yoongi, always under the speed limit. It felt like an eternity before you arrived. But when you did, Jimin was overwhelmed with joy. “Yeobo! Don’t move!” He opened his door and ran around to your side of the car, opening your door and helping you out. Then he made his way over to your baby’s side and carefully unbuckled her, taking her into his arms in the most delicate way, as if she were made of glass. She’d fallen asleep on the ride home, the delicate motions of the car imitating the rocking he had done for her earlier. “Do you want to put her in her crib for the first time, or should I?” “Could she...could she sleep with us?” “Sleep with us?” “I-I don’t mean in our bed! That could be dangerous for her. But...could we move her cradle into our room?” “Are you sure? You spent so long setting up her room.” “I’m sure!” He quickly moved the cradle from your baby’s bedroom into your bedroom, then called you in. “But...let’s not put her in her cradle yet. Lay her on the bed! I want to watch her.” He sat on your bed with his legs open, patting the spot in the middle. “Come, sit. Bring her.” You sat between Jimin’s legs and rocked your child in your arms. He held you tightly around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder, staring down at your baby. “Yeobo?” “Mhmm?” “You and our baby are my world. I promise you I will always take care of you two...forever.”

RM

Namjoon was so conflicted...over who had to drive home. Of course, he wouldn’t let you drive and there was no way in hell he would trust some grimy cab with someone he didn’t know in the driver’s seat with his beloved family, but he was obsessing over your baby and couldn't take his eyes off her. “Y/N!!! Oh my god, look at her little feet. Look!!!!” He couldn't stop smiling and eventually you called one of the other BTS members to drive you home. When Yoongi showed up, Namjoon barely even knew he was there! His world changed when he held your child for the first time. It now revolved around you and her, and that wouldn’t change unless you welcomed another little bundle into your family.

Jin

Jin was at a complete loss for words. He’d been preparing for this day since you found out about your pregnancy seven months ago. He hired painters to renovate the guest room of your shared home, painting the walls different shades of pink. He hung mobiles and practically overflowed the room with toys and stuffed animals. Yet now that the day he would meet his precious daughter was upon him, he had no idea what to do next. He spent an hour just stroking her chubby cheek with his thumb, and time froze when she wrapped her little hand around it. He was silent during the drive home, but once out of the car, he was completely ready to embrace this new life with your child. “My two princesses...how on earth did I get this lucky?”

Suga

Like Jin, Yoongi had no words, but for a different reason. Though in awe, his silence was mainly of disbelief. He couldn't believe that there was now a living symbol of your love with him in this world, in the form of a chubby little baby he would be given the privilege to love for his whole life. He spent about an hour just fastening your baby girl in her carseat. Then it took another hour to drive home. Though the hospital was at most twenty minutes away from your house, he took all the safest routes stayed a good deal below the speed limit. Once home, you lowered her sleeping form into her crib, and Yoongi stared at her in pure amazement and joy. “Y/N...thank you. Thank you so much for this...this blessing.”

J-Hope

He had to be told by several nurses to stop screaming or he would wake your baby. She somehow remained sleeping as your husband talked his head off. “She’s so small! So cute! So adorable! And she’s ours! Our little baby!” “Hobi, pay attention to the road!” “I am, I am!” The second you two got home, he dashed out of the car to open your baby’s door and quickly get her out of her carseat, he wanted to hold her. “You don’t mind, right?” “Of course I don’t mind.” You laughed, watching your husband lovingly hold your baby tightly. He brought her over to her crib with you following right behind. “Ah...do we have to put her in here right away? Can’t we keep her in the living room with us for a little while? I...I don't want to let her go yet.”

Taehyung

“Tae, stop poking her nose.” He didn’t listen, and proceeded to poke said nose. “Tae? Baby? Hello?” He kept poking. *poke* *poke* *poke* “Oh my gosh, what are you?!” He smiled. “I’m a father, yeobo! And you’re a mother! Ah I would kiss you right now but that would mean taking my eyes off our precious baby girl...” He kissed his fingers, then touched them to your cheek, all while continuing to watch your baby. The only time he took his eyes off her was when he drove home; when his full concentration was on the road. He tripped several times walking up to your front door, not taking his eyes off the bouncing baby in your embrace. When you lied her down in her cradle, he took your face in his hands and kissed you with so much love you could cry. “This...this is our new beginning. Thank you, y/n.”

Jungkook

This would change Jungkook completely. Once a shy kid, he was now a mature adult ready to support you and your child through everything. He would step up and leave his childish immaturity behind. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself. He knew that he needed to mature and he told himself he would, but he was still a little scared about the day you would welcome your child into the world. That is, until it happened. All the words he told himself never made much sense to him, but your baby girl did. Once she was born, everything made sense. He saw beauty in life for the first time since he met you, and now that there was a constant reminder of your love in this world, he would never forget the world’s beauty again. He didn’t trust his driving skills, so like Namjoon, he asked another member to drive your family home. Yoongi (who is apparently an amazing driver or something) drove the two of you home and Jungkook barely managed a thanks, too wrapped up in you and your child. “You should get to sleep, Jungkook. It’s getting late and we won’t be getting much sleep for the next year or so.” “It’s...okay. I want to stay up and watch her. Her first night in this wonderful world...”

- Admin Sammie

[katybeth23]

The Honourable Man

A/N A little JISA story. I wrote it after re watching the episode ‘A long shot’…I always wandered why Lisa wasn’t in this episode and if Jack would ever tell her about Claire. As always a huge thankyou to @the-real-tc for always offering me positive feedback and being my sounding board.

“The Honourable Man”

Jack couldn’t help but think about Claire’s visit, about what had happened all those years ago…he had made a decision right from the very beginning that each month he would pay a small amount of money to claire’s mother Paula…this went on for years…but never did Jack ever imagine that Claire would think he was her father. Jack had always felt a sense of responsibility for what had happened…he did what he thought was the most honourable thing he could do to help his old rodeo friends family. It was so long ago, and although it was never far from his thoughts it was something Jack had never EVER spoken about… But things were different now, Amy knew and this made him re think the secret from his past.

The morning sun shon throught the kitchen window covering the room with a warm orange glow… Lisa had slept in. She hadn’t meant too but Lou and the girls had gone away for a short break whilst Georgie & Katie were on school holidays…Heartland was so quiet you could almost hear the grass growing… As she followed her nose to the rich smell of the fresh coffee brewing, Lisa paused as she caught a glimse of Jack on the porch, coffee in hand…his gaze somewhere far away… Lisa had returned from a short trip to France 2 days previous, Lou and the girls had left for NY 3 days earlier…. She had sensed that something was playing on Jacks mind. Overall he was his normal self…but there was something ( lisa couldn’t quite put her finger on it) that was pre occupying him…but in his own time Lisa knew that Jack would share whatever it was that was bothering him… She had come to learn many things about Jack Bartlett over these past years, non more than allowing him time, never to push him but offer him the space he needed to worry, whilst always being there whenever it was that he needed her….. Jack was an intensely private man, but Lisa knew that he would open up….whenever he was ready.

'Morning honey’ lisa leant down in front of Jack as she came to join him on the verandah…she kissed him gently and sat herself down as close as she could, able to feel the warmth of his body and breath in his familiar scent…..Jack turned and kissed Lisa’s forehead… 'Morning Lise….howd you sleep?’ He turned slightly and smiled at his wife… Jack knew he needed to tell Lisa about Claire, about what happened to her father Gil that fateful day so many years ago…he knew that if anyone would understand why he had done what he had for all those years it would be Lisa.

'We had a visitor while you were in France Lise’ Jack’s voice was quiet and had a somewhat flat tone to it…. 'An old friend of mine’s daughter….hadn’t seen her since she was Katie’s age…but I knew who she was moment I laid eyes on her’…..still his tone was flat, stright to the point…. Lisa shifted on the porch pew, turning her body towards Jack….he sat head down, eyes closed…. 'Does this visitor have anything to do with why your thoughts have been a million miles away since I got home?’ , her voice too was quiet and had warmth and love in it…. 'You know me that well Lise?’ A smile snuck out from the corner of his mouth…. 'I had a feeling you could read me like a book’ he sighed…. Lisa looked at her husband for a long moment before she spoke, a millions thoughts ran through her mind….she gazed at Jack lovingly, the lines in his face that told so many stories, his grey hair, unshaven face, rough hard working calloused hands and soft eyes green eyes…. 'Whatever it is Jack, whatever went on, you can tell me…you know that’…. Jack smiled….there was something about Lisa’s voice that always made him feel at ease…she had a nack of making whatever it was he was worring about almost seem to disappear.

Jack took a deep breath…..he turned to Lisa and softy kissed her…. A long time ago Lise, back when I was on the rodeo circut there was this bull…he was a SOB that none of us could ride….and there was this rodeo and I drew his name, I was supposed to ride that bull and I didn’t…I declined…he had a dangerous track record Lise…but then my mate Gil drew that SOB’ …Jack paused for a moment.. 'and then there was an accident Lise….a fatal accident….it should have been me’…Jack could feel the backs of his eyes burning….he looked away… He felt lisa’s soft hands cup his face and turn his gaze towards hers. 'It was supposed to be me Lise’… 'I was the one who should have been riding that SOB that day!’… Jack felt all the emotions from the past suddenly start to take over, but he kept going…. 'She thought I was her father….I sent money every month to her mother, but only because I felt so guilty’… Jack suddenly lifted his eyes to meet Lisa’s… 'I’m not lise…I’m not her father’… 'I just did what I thought was the right thing, the honourable thing to do ….no one knew…not even Lyndy’ his voice now was no more than a whisper….

Lisa knew at this moment that what Jack had told her was something that he had been holding onto for a very long time. She knew that this was extremely difficult for him to talk about and that he had done the only thing he knew how to do….what he thought was right thing to do.

'I know Jack….I know you did what you thought was best…and it was the right thing to do’ Lisa lifted Jack’s chin so she could see right into his old tired eyes… 'To be honest Jack it was a pretty amazing thing for you to do for all those years’…and in an voice so full of relief and with tears welling in her eyes Lisa leant forward and whispered…'You will never know how greatful I am Jack, that you didn’t ride that bull’…she looked up at him and smiled before kissing him tenderly.

As the two of them sat together on the porch Jack continued with the story, he told Lisa how he had kept this from everyone…and how he had promised Claire’s mother Paula that in the good times and in the tough times he would support them no matter what… 'There were times when Lyndy was so angry that we had no money…but I had made a promise Lise, and you know me… I am a man of my word’…

'And all this time Lise, Claire had no idea…she didnt even know who her father was’… 'I dont know why her mother never told her?… Gil was a good man. Sure he travelled the Rodeo Circut and was away from his family…I mean we all were…but he loved Paula and Claire. She told me she found her mothers diary and saw my name in it and she just assumed it was me….she thought I was her dad’…

All this time Lisa just sat and listened…she had never known Jack to talk for so long…she wanted to hug him tight and reassure him that what he had done all those years ago was the right thing, that she knew he was the honourable man had always tried to be….but she let him go…it was important for Jack to get this off his chest, and in a strange way it made her feel closer to him.

After Jack had finished the two of them sat in silence…almost 4 decades had past since the accident and the relief that Jack felt being able to share with Lisa what had happened all those years ago was something he never imagined possible…

'Thanks Lise’….Jack finally spoke after a lenghthy silence… 'You dont need to thank me Jack’…she looked accross at him and smiled, eyes sparkling in the sunshine…. 'Jack I know I wasn’t there when this all happened, but I am here now, and I love you’….her right hand gently rested over jacks shoulder… 'I know the type of man you are, the type of man you have always tried to be…thats one of the main reasons I fell in love with you. You did the right thing Jack, Amy knows that and so do I’….. Lisa rested her head on his back, she could here his heart beating strongly beneath his plaid shirt…. 'And now’ she continued… 'Now Claire knows who her real father was, what really happened and most importantly that her father loved her’….

Jack turned to face Lisa… The way in which she made him feel was something he could never quite find enough words to describe…no one ever in his life had made Jack feel like Lisa did…she loved him unconditionally…she was his offsider, his rock, his lover & his best friend.

'I dont know what I would do without you Lise, I should have told you about this a long time ago…and I’m sorry. I can’t tell you how much better I feel now having shared this with you… I dont know how on earth I managed to get this lucky’….a broad smile came from underneath Jacks mustache… 'I think I’m the lucky one Jack’ Lisa’s face lit up with her trademark beautiful smile…. 'A man who will take care of his friends family, provide for another mans child whilst taking care of his own…Jack Bartlett you are the most decent man I have ever met and you will never know just how proud I am to be your wife’ …..

As the afternoon turned into evening Jack and Lisa worked away at their chores as the sun began to set over the Heartland ranch and the cool night air set in. They both ate almost in silence, sneaking glances at one another, a soft smile, a cheeky wink of the eye… 'Lise’ Jack broke the comfortable silence they shared as together they sunk into the large leather couch in front of the open fire…. 'I know I have said it before, but thankyou’ Jack looked over at Lisa who was resting her head on his shoulder, legs tucked in beside her….he continued.. 'Thankyou for always accepting the past…my past. I know at times its been difficult for you, but I love you Lise and thats something that wont ever change’….he leant accross and kissed the side of her forehead….'Loved ya the first day a met ya…love ya now & I’ll keep lovin ya even when your as old as me’ …he couldn’t help but chuckle as he felt lisa move in her seat and give him a sharp dig in under his right side…..'I’ll NEVER be as old as you Jack Bartlett’ Lisa quipped as she turned and kissed him passionalty in between a giggle and a protest against Jacks attempts to tickle her…together their laughter was the only noise that filled the walls of an otherwise rarely peaceful Heartland….

[kittensjonsa]

One Night (Part 2)

Ahh.. Clichés, don’t you just love them? So here’s part 2 of the dream I had of Kit and Sophie getting it on. I remember bits and pieces but I remember there was lots of kissing. And don’t mind Robb, I just think it would be a funny scene for him to discover what Jon and Sansa had been up to. And also, I am in love with Robb Stark. Book Robb and show Robb (Richard Madden is bae). Sigh… Anyway, enjoy this cheesy, tarty, smutty trash and it’s okay if you blushed reading it.. (I did haha) and it’s okay if you don’t. I just needed to get it out of my system. Thanks for all the likes and reblogs! Enjoy Jonsa cruisers! You guys are the best! xxx *************

Jon’s eyes bulged at her request. He blinked twice to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Sansa was still staring at him, waiting, her luscious body in that dress turned towards him. What a night this was turning out to be.

“Jon?”

“Sansa.. A-are you sure about this? I mean, I love you and god the things I wanna do to you…” Jon’s voice trailed off as Sansa inched closer to him, till they were both face to face, noses almost touching.

Sansa didn’t say a word. She couldn’t and she didn’t need to. The thong she was wearing was getting increasingly damp and all she needed was some relief. Even if it was just making out and some dry humping, as long as she got off, it would suffice. But something told her that Jon wasn’t going to only let that be. But still she shivered slightly, imagining the ‘things’ Jon wanted to do to her. Sansa took Jon’s hand and brought it to her lips. They felt rough and calloused but smooth and his skin was hot to the touch. Sansa stuck out her tongue and licked his digits, shyly at first, her blue eyes on him constantly. Jon gasped and his jaw hung open as he watched Sansa’s tongue caress his fingers one by one, feeling his cock leaping to life, desiring the same attention.

“There’s more of that if you want… Come to bed, ” Sansa seductively suggested as she led the way to her bedroom.

Her room was just like her, bright and pretty and smelled amazing. Jon never ventured into her room much except to look for her when he needed to do laundry. He never noticed how colour coordinated it was. Jon jumped as he felt a piece of clothing hit him on the head. It was Sansa’s dress. Her perfume mixed with her scent was heaven to him. Soon, Jon was faced with a very naked and giggling Sansa clad only in her black lace thong. Jon had to pull at his crotch to adjust himself. His cock was begging to be released.

“Ohh.. My Sansa.. You’re fucking beautiful,” Jon was in awe as Sansa inched nearer to him, backing him towards her bed. Jon felt the edge of the bed bump against his calves and sat on her bed as Sansa undid his belt and jeans and straddled him. Jon had to watch Sansa’s face as she did so, her eyes gleaming with desire and hunger. She was horny and he was her relief. Whatever it was, Jon may never have this chance ever again, so he took it all in as much as he could for as long as it lasted. Sansa giggled as Jon watched her every move.

“Are you gonna watch me all day or are you going to be an active participant Jon Targaryen? Show me what you want to do to me.. ” Sansa whispered, her breath hot on his ears and neck and Jon turned to claim her mouth with his. He probed her mouth with his tongue, this time hungrily and Sansa reciprocated with the same ferocity. Jon broke away for a moment to take off his t shirt and went back to nipping at her neck and collarbone, her skin smooth, pale and delicious.

Sansa enjoyed straddling him, she loved his mouth on her body, relishing every touch and every sliver of his tongue brought her trembling pleasure. They were both as naked as the day they were born, her on top of him, his hands squeezing her cheeks and almost urgently pushing her down to him where he needed her the most. She wanted the kissing to last all night if she could, he was too good. Where he learned to make a woman feel this good she had no clue but she didn’t care. Jon was full of surprises tonight. Sansa gasped as she felt a hardness touching her entrance, it felt meaty and large. She sighed knowing full well that she was slick and well lubricated enough for him to slip in and for them to cross the point of no return. It was so tempting but she wanted the night to last.

Sansa never really had experience of giving head before, her past boyfriends were all about getting the deed done, foreplay was never part of their routine. But she could try, since Margaery said it was incredibly sexy. Sansa slowly inched down, returning Jon’s kisses on her body with her own. Sansa heard Jon hiss with pleasure as she neared his navel and soon came face to face with his cock. Hard and dark and just as handsome looking as Jon was, his cock was glistening. Sansa figured it was probably from her own juices mixed with his pre cum. That thought made Sansa even wetter than she thought possible. Sansa grasped the stiff shaft in her hands, it was bigger than she thought, which made her mouth water. Sansa gingerly licked the tip and that made Jon groan. Sansa decided it was now or never. They went this far, might as well go all the way. With that as encouragement, Sansa opened her mouth and swallowed Jon whole.

“Ahh! Fuck Sansa ! Your mouth… Oh my god that’s so good!” Jon howled as he felt Sansa’s warm mouth engulf him from tip to the bottom. Sansa almost gagged as Jon’s cock reached the back of her throat but she relaxed and felt her mouth able to accommodate more of Jon’s length. She felt Jon squeezing her shoulder and a hand grabbing at her hair. Margaery was right, it was sexy, now that she was watching Jon lose all control having her mouth over him. And boy, he tasted good. Sansa’s head bobbed up and down as she sucked Jon like a yummy ice lolly, feeling him getting even harder as she did. Sansa’s eyes were closed, enjoying his smooth hard cock in her mouth but opened when she felt him lightly tap her shoulder. Sansa looked up and saw Jon pointing to her to move up. Jon kissed her as she reached to face him, it was undeniably sexy to her how he loved to kiss.

“I want to taste you too, turn around so I can eat you while you suck my cock Sansa Stark.. I wanna make you come,” the dirty talk that rolled off his tongue as his hands groped and fondled her breasts gave Sansa another gush of wetness. She was awfully turned on by this man, who somehow knew how to push the right buttons. Sansa nodded and turned around so her butt was in Jon’s face. Sansa whimpered as she felt Jon’s hands grab at her butt cheeks and she moaned as his hands started to spread them apart. She was fully exposed and she loved it. She grabbed at his cock again, licking and sucking but groaned loudly with his cock still in her mouth as she felt something wet and warm dart in and out of her wet folds.

His tongue was probing her inner walls and his mouth was sucking on her mound. Sansa had to stop and take in a breath as Jon’s tongue found a little nub of flesh which made Sansa pause. It was too much for her to bear. Jon made good on his promise to make her come and tonight was it. The thought drove up the pleasant pressure as it rose within her. It got more and more intense and as she felt Jon’s mouth enclosed on it, and Sansa felt an explosion in her insides.

For a second, Sansa was almost out of her own body, but then found herself trembling and quaking riding on the pleasure wave that Jon had gifted her. Jon held on to her tightly as she trashed about trying to recover from the earth shattering orgasm. Sansa’s grip on Jon’s hard cock loosened as her body went slack. She leaned her head on his thighs as she panted for air. She felt Jon move his body around and shifted hers, his strong arms effortlessly lifting her as if she weighed nothing. Jon caressed her face and kissed her forehead, his eyes looking into hers, full of love and adoration for her just as he had just confessed to a while ago.

“Sansa, you all right sweet girl? You tasted amazing… I can’t wait to make love to you, do you want me to Sansa? Can I make love to you, my darling girl?” Jon cooed as he stroked her face lovingly. Sansa smiled and moved herself to her desired position. After what he gave her, it only felt right that they were joined together as one. Sansa nodded and kissed him, her hands reaching out below her to grab his cock and placing it at her entrance.

Jon’s mouth paused to gasp as she did so, his eyes looking into hers. It was perfect, as it dawned upon Sansa that she once had a dream that she had made love to a man whilst looking into his eyes. And now here she was, ready to be taken by this amazing man, wanting to make her his, joining their bodies as one, looking into her eyes longingly and lovingly. He literally was the man of her dreams. Jon felt her wetness welcome him and it took all his might to not come right there and then. He was not going to ruin his and Sansa’s night by coming prematurely. If he was an expert in anything, it was waiting. He had waited three long years for this. Finally it was in his grasp. And how wonderful it felt.

Sansa bit her lip and shut her eyes, as she stroked his cock on top of her wet slit. And that was all it took for Jon to thrust into her, his cock fully sheathed in her wet folds. Sansa and Jon both groaned in unison, the pleasure from the union of their bodies was beyond anything they had both imagined. Sansa felt as if Jon’s cock was made specially to fit in her. He made her feel full and glorious. Jon started to move and his slow thrusts were deliberate and enjoyable. Sansa had never felt anything so hot and sexy in her life. She wondered if this was what people were talking about - that making love to someone you love and care about was the best feeling in the world. Well, they were right.

Sansa loved hearing Jon moan and calling out her name as he fucked her, his cock massaging her inner walls as it moved in and out. Sansa felt the familiar pressure again building up in her. Jon watched as Sansa’s face contorted in bliss, realising that she was near orgasm. Jon wanted to come with her, it would be so romantic. Sansa gripped Jon’s shoulder and her mouth opened in a silent scream as the orgasm caught her by surprise, her muscles contracting, sucking and milking on Jon’s cock as he pistoned in and out of her. Her orgasm shook her body, mind and soul. Jon continued his pumping and every thrust became more frantic as he felt his own orgasm near. Her squeezing walls were too much to hold off any longer. He howled as he spent inside her, his hot seed flooding her canal. His cock throbbed and pulsed as he rested on top of her, both of them gasping for air.

Sansa kissed Jon as she laid her head on top of his heaving chest. This was one night to remember and she vowed never to forget it, if they never had a chance like this again.

“I didn’t know it was possible, but I believe I love you more now than ever Sansa Stark. There’s no one else for me now. Not ever. It’s you. It will always be you.” Jon finally spoke, as her fingers ran through her hair, slightly matted from the sweat of their coupling moments ago.

Sansa couldn’t help but notice the slight waver in his voice. His earnestness tugged at her heart. She didn’t want this to be some casual one night thing. She adored him too, he was more than a friend or even a cousin for that matter. Whatever little love she had for him, would only grow now that they both had a taste of what they each had to offer. And boy, he was a good fuck. Sansa turned her head and looked up at him.

“Then you shall have me, Jon. Let’s see where this goes.”

Jon didn’t need her to tell him she loved him back. He had her in his arms, he had her in his mouth, he had his cock buried and come inside her and loved every bit of it. Sansa saying yes to giving him a chance to let this relationship blossom was all he needed. He wanted to be the best boyfriend she ever had. He wanted to be the one and only husband if it ever came to being.

Fuck everyone else, they wouldn’t understand what they had. It was only Sansa that mattered and only Sansa he wanted. If it came down to it, it would be them both against the world. He would do anything for her. Jon’s thoughts drifted back to the room as he felt Sansa’s rhythmic breathing on his chest. She looked beautiful even in her sleep. This was one night that he never wanted to forget. If it was all he ever had, he would hold her until the night ended. And how he wished it lasted forever.

“We will always have tonight, Sansa, no matter what happens. I love you,” Jon whispered to Sansa and propped up slightly but gently to kiss her head. Sansa purred and smiled sleepily in acknowledgement. Jon smiled as he watched her sleep, his eyes slowly closing, his body spent from the passionate love making with his Sansa.

“Jon! Sansa! What the fuck??” Sansa and Jon stirred from their sleep and was greeted by a very shocked Robb Stark.

********

[thecasualfuryoffreedom-blog-blog]

 I got “Shelbie” in the Spring of 2009. Wasn’t planning on getting a St. Bernard. But seeing how I was intertwined in the pet business, it just kinda happened. Most of the best “rescue” stories begin along those lines. I’ve worked with pet rescues for years. There are some heart-wrenching stories out there, too. Interestingly, I’ve found many owners of rescue pets often imagine or concoct these atrocious stories of abuse, they adamantly INSIST their pet’s been severely abused. Maybe it’s a way to make us feel more needed? More heroic? Maybe we just like those happy endings. I didn’t have to imagine “Shelbie’s” story of horrors. No, we were filled in with great detail, down to the cigarette scars she bore on her chest to the faded scar around her neck from where she was chained to a tree. At about four months old.

The foster mom gave me the run down as my new “pup” took her place in the backseat of my tiny Ford Focus. Legs crossed, she sat like a “lady” I noticed, all 100+ lbs of her (I would come to find that’s precisely how she sat the rest of her life, like a “lady”.)The foster mom told me how “Shelbie” was confiscated after her owners were arrested for “demented animal abuse”. I cringed, glancing back at my new friend, while she sat patiently. The kind woman handed me a couple of “Shelbie’s” meager belongings, one being the plush “skin” of a squirrel with no stuffing, apparently “her FAVORITE!” As we drove off, I turned to look at this gentle giant and gave her a little love rub behind her velvety ear, “You’re gonna LOVE your new boy!” I promised, regarding my then nine-year-old son. 

How on earth did I end up with a St. Bernard? One busy Saturday at the groom shop, a St. Bernard Rescue “mom” brought in her brood- five MASSIVE BEASTS. Except for one, I noticed. She was little, “lady-like”, and had the sweetest, freckly-face I’d ever seen. She was shy but melted when I scratched under her soft chin. When the St. Bernie “parent” came to collect her pack, I mentioned how ridiculously adorable the lil’ one was, how I was smitten. Apparently, I even made the comment, “If ya ever get rid of her, you let me know!” But I wasn’t SERIOUS SERIOUS! About four months later, she let me know. (Her older St.’s were kinda bullying “Shelbie” and because of her traumatic background, the woman felt it was best she go to a different home…I agreed.)

  It was love at first sight when “Miss Shelbie” met my son. Immediately, she let it be known that was “her boy”. Despite her enormous size, she was incredibly gentle and conscious of his small frame, always watching herself even when the rough-housing got outta hand. “Shelbie” quickly nominated herself to be his forever buddy, his protector and sleeping companion. However, the instant trust and confidence she placed in us from the start, didn’t come easily to her in the presence of newcomers. She was quite wary of guests or strangers who made their way to her scene. With bowed head and eyes cast upward, she’d seek refuge under our large marble table and watch and wait patiently until the unknown people left the premise. (God love my mom…It bothered her so that “Shelbie” wouldn’t warm up to her so she would come into our home several times a week and sit on the couch with a piece of bread in her hand, coaxing, willing her to please just come out. Eventually, “Shelbie” did. And, for the rest of her life, she ALWAYS got her piece of bread before bed.)

This goofy, ginormous “pup” slowly began to trust, often looking to my son or myself for reassurance or guidance when it came to “strangers”, but once she did, that person was in for LIFE. Over the years, it was never lost on me how this sweet, precious soul would learn, many times by blind faith, on how to trust people again, how to forgive and not hold grudges or blame all of us for a few bad apples. That was no simple fete, I’m sure. Cruelly, my sweet girl was BURNED WITH CIGARETTES for the sick amusement of others! But never flinched when I’d stroke her scars. That’s how much she trusted me. HUNDREDS of times she was whacked on the head with Wiffle Ball bats by previous owners, and while she cowered when unknown people would reach out to touch the top of her head, she delighted from my daily rubs. That’s how much she trusted me.  If I gave her the “ok” regarding a guest, eventually that’s all it took. She trusted me. 

Over the years, during some of the hardest of my life, she was right by my side. Lovingly, patiently, non-judgemental, encouraging…the tables turned. It was now I who was looking to her for strength and support. Many nights, my son was with his father and I was alone with dark thoughts and the nightmares of addiction. Like a lion, she remained at my side, reminding me that no, I was not alone. For hours, sometimes days, she would snuggle in beside me, in her silent, lady-like manner, and just be there until I was again ready for the world. One look into those big, beautiful yet wounded eyes, she reminded me so often that I wasn’t the only one who experienced pain. She dealt with hers but loved me enough to let me lick my wounds as long as it took. I’m not goin’ anywhere, those eyes promised me.

“Shelbie” was an easy dog, always went with the flow: We’re gettin’ a new house? AGAIN? No prob! Grooming me AGAIN? Fine!…She was so patient. To me, she represented so much: the best and worst of humanity and how to overcome and thrive. How to forgive even the most unimaginable things and move on. How to be grateful for the present and remain content in it, even when the world around you seems to tell you to do the opposite. As an addict, I have some pretty dark, unfathomable stories. And she loved me through it ALL. Every night of her life, after making sure “her people” were settled in bed, “Shelbie” would take “her spot”, cross her legs, and let out a loud, peaceful sigh. 

Last night was rough. As a pet parent, I knew this day would come, and as someone who is familiar, professionally, with all the telltale signs, I had a feeling it would be soon. But even my “soon” couldn’t have prepared me for how soon. It never will. “Shelbie”, who has lived a fairly long life for a St. Bernard, was showing “the signs” and I hated it. After a restless, terrible night, she quietly left this world in one of her favorite spots- in my bedroom, in front of my door. No matter how many scenarios of death I’ve been through, or how I knew this day would arrive, it never prepared me for what I’d actually feel. I was crushed. The second I realized she was gone, my son opened the door. We stood there and witnessed this news together, devastated.

I sat on the couch, making arrangements to have her picked up, and noticed the fireplace- her fireplace, the cool, marble area you could find her snoozing 9 outta 10 times a day. It was bare…Like when anyone passes, for me anyway, this wave of guilt washes over me: Why didn’t I do this, say this more, etc…For her, it was: Why didn’t I walk her last night? I KNEW I should’ve! Why didn’t I love on her more? Why was I so impatient when it took her so long to “do her business”? Why didn’t I…(I could fill in the blank all day) There’s a life lesson here we all need to pay attention to.

  After the arrangements were made, I went to make myself some coffee. En route, I stepped on that ol’, shredded squirrel skin she loved so dearly. That was the ONE POSSESSION she cherished, the one toy she would play with, tossing it up in the air and amazing herself by retrieving it. Over and over and over. That ol’ crusty, raggedy squirrel…I’ll treasure it always.

*Thank you, “Miss Shelbie” for everything, but most of all for sticking it out, being my friend, giving me confidence, encouraging me, and loving me. No one will ever know the extent of our crazy, unplanned, beautiful bonds, but I will. And I’ll never forget. Thank you, Dear, for rescuing ME.

  SHE Rescued ME  I got "Shelbie" in the Spring of 2009. Wasn't planning on getting a St. Bernard. But seeing how I was intertwined in the pet business, it just kinda happened.